#(breaking and entering)

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I broke into T.J.Maxx to steal men’s clothes and ended up getting turned into a vampire at some point in the process.

[angelyuji]

some yandere stan and ford thoughts:

tw // stalking, nonconsensual picture taking, breaking and entering, general yandere themes

18+!!!!!

saw someone say stan would take polaroid pics of you after fucking you and im gonna take that and go further with yandere creepy boss stan taking pictures of you. like remember when i said he would call you into his office to make u do stupid tasks for him? he would sooo take upskirt/ass pics of you when you’re bent over. if we’re at the stage of him manipulating you into having sex or something, when you’re not looking, he’s taking pictures of you naked or while you have his dick in your mouth. for blackmail (and to “rub one out” to later)



yandere ford, who’s trying to get used to life back in gravity falls, sees you and realizes you’re perfect to stalk watch (for science!! to see how regular people behave in society these days). he writes notes in his journal about you. these notes start off innocent like “they say good morning and smile at everyone they pass - this is behavior the average fall’s citizen exhibit” to “they waves hello to me today when i passed them at their work - my careful scheduling is working” to “the door to their home was open and i carefully catalogued every article of clothing they own- *lists your sizes in underwear, tshirts, and more*”

[catfindr]

[tsubaki94]

Phantom Comic Ch.6

Page 2<-->  Page 4

Begining

Masterpost

[sp0o0kylights]

Eddie was all about desecrating corpses. 

Particularly, the huge ones--and nothing was larger than the burnt out husk of Starcourt. 

Yellow caution tape, muddied and ripped from its time in the weather still decorated parts of the doors. 

The place used to be crawling with security, but that had eased off now, the job returning to a local outfit rather than the smooth and swift guards who previously haunted the joint in pairs. 

It was easy as two days spent camped out in his van, watching the main entrance and a few side doors. In no time at all, Eddie had schedules memorized, points of entry selected and even three possible escape routes should things get dicey.

He didn't expect them to. 

Not when he’d already rolled his checks and came up with a number that, were this an actual D&D game, would make him a happy man. 

It was always a point of contention between him and his Pa. This perception. The natural ability he had that good ‘ol dad just didn’t seem to possess. 

The one that made him patient long enough to get a feel for a gig. 

To know instinctively how hard a job might be, and how to go about doing it safely. 

(Eddie personally doesn't believe much of it is talent. Thinks it is in fact, forcibly learned, due to the nature of his upbringing. 

Grandma and Grandpa Munson, bless their dead, departed souls, had at least given something of a shit. Tried to keep family things family and work things work, even when said work was illegal as it gets. 

They understood things like appearance and public reputation. 

How that kept the pigs off your back and food on your table.)

His Pa had never cared for any of that. 

Eddie didn’t grow up with family meals, or even food in the house let alone on the table. He grew up watchful, forced to learn or take a hit meant for an adult in the process. To weigh the risks against the benefits, and how to charm the pants off an unsuspecting target while doing so. 

It was how he’d escaped his own prison sentence when his Pa finally got eyes too big for his abilities.

Eddi had gotten lucky in that situation. 

Or rather--he’d gotten Wayne. 

Wayne, who gave up his own room, his own bed, for his nephew. Had bought him his sweetheart on his sixteenth birthday and a van on his eighteenth. Both things were used, and a little battered around the edges, and Eddie had almost thrown up the day he accidentally found out Wayne had used his life savings for the damn car, but they were above and beyond anything he had any right too. 

Eddie would be damned without him. 

But he knows his uncle needs help. 

Can't pay for himself and Eddie. Never really could, and so has been giving his nephew literally everything he has in an effort to make up for it until Eddie could help pay his way. 

Not that a singular soul would trust a teenage Munson with such a precious thing as a part time job, and so Eddie had turned to the familiar. 

The mall fire, and the resulting flood of federal agents had really put a damper on his income the past few months. Drugs were risky, and getting riskier with them sniffing about, and things were getting tight again in a way they hadn’t in a long, long time. 

(All it had taken was finding the hidden stack of bills. 

Big ol’ words stamped in red topped every one. Bold letters screaming ‘Overdue’ and ‘Payment Missed’ and ‘Late Fees.’ 

One single letter had panicked Eddie more than any other, the one that clearly said Wayne had been talking to the payday loan place down the street, and he’d be damned if his shortcomings made his Uncle willingly walk into a debt pit so few climbed out of.) 

Growing up like he had, Eddie was trusted in certain circles. Had access to places many didn't as his sole inheritance, because he was known.

 Someone who didn't rat, who could be trusted with given tasks. Who kept to the criminal code, and was good about not backstabbing you if caught.

He’d hit up a few old connections, dropped some hints. Put out “feelers” as one might say. 

Got a nibble and soon enough, Eddie was back in business, getting called up and offered a few small tasks for decent dough. 

Sometimes it was fetching information. 

Sometimes it was ferrying an item.

Today, it was a retrieval.

There was something someone wanted in the ruins of Starcourt--and they were offering an insane amount of money to get it.  

The plans hadn't made sense, not at first. The instructions Eddie had been given sounded outlandish, if not outright total bunk. 

Like the existence of a multi level basement under Starcourt? How the hell had no one caught that being built? 

Or that the security systems down there could possibly still be turned on? After four months? 

Who was even paying for it? 

Eddie had heard stupider things though, and the pay for this little jaunt was good. Too good to pass up. 

"They want a local in case something happens and the rescue squad comes running in. That way, it's just a little trespassing fun. The town deviant getting his kicks in the big scary mall, and not what they think it is." His connection had told him, meeting with Eddie in a Mcdonalds the town over. 

The place had a play palace, big enough to host a number of screaming rugrats. It made for a great cover as they pretended to be just two men in overalls, getting burgers on their lunch. 

Not a soul could hear a sound over the kids screaming, and if a blueprint sat between them then, well, if it looks like a maintenance worker, and it talks like a maintenance worker…

People never did look twice.

"And what else exactly would they think this is?" Eddie asked, munching on the food he got for free as part of even entertaining the offer. 

"A retrieval, Double D." 

Eddie hated that nickname.

"Some rich kid bit it in the fire, and his parents are paying out top dollar to get a few of his things, seein’ as the feds wouldn’t let anybody back in after they condemned the place." The guy, whose name was Mickey said. 

He idly traced a finger along the lines of the blueprint, the path he was wanting Eddie to take. 

(The path Eddie would later ignore, on grounds that it was going to get him caught.) 

 “Specifically a signet ring and car keys.”

“Car keys?” Eddie had asked, mostly in a bid for more information. Mickey was the kind of guy you could breadcrumb into giving more information than he intended to, if one played their cards right.

And Eddie was a damn good poker player. 

“Yup. Goes to a BMW--which they want you to drive to a safe place. Parents think he lost it somewhere around,” Mickey’s finger stopped, before tapping the blueprint twice. “Here.”

Something had niggled in the back of Eddie’s head. The first whispers of recognition, of a fact that he knew something about this--something he couldn’t yet recall. 

He wasn’t stupid enough to ignore it. 

“Who's the kid?” He’d asked. 

Mostly because he was curious, partially because it was a way to ease in the real questions he wanted to ask.

Like what a rich kid was doing four levels down in Starcourt the night of the fire. 

��Does it matter?” Mickey said, but dug into his pockets anyway. Retrieved a little 2 by 3 wallet photo, done in the traditional High School Picture Day style. 

He’d tossed it on the table, and Eddie didn’t react. 

Kept his face perfectly blank, even as his stomach contracted and his breath caught in his chest. 

Carefully pulled the picture to him, to make a show of examining it. 

“Don’t know him.” He lied after a moment, fighting to get his breathing back under control before Mickey figured out what was up. 

“Told you it didn’t matter. What matters is that you get the shit. And hey, while you’re down there…” 

Mickey talked a bit more, and idly, Eddie listened. He knew this little B&E was going to have more components than just retrieving a few things. Had long figured out that this entire front of retrieving “some rich kids keys” was just that--a front. 

Word on the street was that Starcourt was hiding something--something a lot of very powerful people were getting increasingly interested in. He’d rolled his eyes when he caught wind of the first little rumblings, the rumors and whispers that the thing was shrouded in Government secrets and conspiracies, but hadn’t been able to ignore the shit that had come after. 

Likely, the people who had hired him and Mickey understood they had to act now, before someone else did, to see if anything worthwhile was actually down there. 

The real question is why the hell they were using Steve Harrington’s death to do it--when Eddie knew for a fact that Steve Harrington was alive. 

Or alive as anyone could be, at two am at a Shell gas station. 

“Alright.” Eddie said finally, pulling the blueprint towards himself before rolling it up, making sure to casually roll up Harrington’s picture with it. “You got me interested. Half up front and I’m in.”

Mickey grinned at him. “Knew you would be, kid.” 

One hand shake and a hefty envelope later, and Eddie found himself on the way to Starcourt on his very first stakeout. 

It was that first initial look that confirmed it--Harrington’s prized BMW was in fact, still sitting in the parking lot.

Abandoned by rich assholes who absolutely could have paid to have it towed.

Which led to a domino effect of stakeouts, late nights and confrontations, up to and including his present position, counting down the minutes before he could break into Starcourt.

“Ready?” He murmured, and one could be forgiven for thinking he was talking to himself given how quietly he said it.

They would be wrong. 

“Yeah.” The not-so-dead rich kid drawled from the passenger seat.

Eddie tossed a grin at Harrington, who rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Come on, Stevie.” He purred. “Let’s go find out who impersonated your parents, and why they want that ring you supposedly own so badly.” 

“Honestly dude I just want my car back.” 

“That too.” 

Part Two

[emily-axford]

CRITICAL ROLE: CAMPAIGN 3 Episode 20: Breaking and Entering...

[wisecura]

Shine

Yuji x idol f!reader (short)

summary: You're a famous pop idol that Yuji adores. what more is there to say? An: Just a concept I was thinking about writing for soon. Let me know what you think. I prefer golden retriever type yanderes so here we go.

Warning: obsessive behavior, unhealthy behavior, stalking, please read at your own discretion

You met Yuji while on tour about a year ago.

You’ve met plenty of people. Hundreds if not thousands. From all walks of life. But that pink headed ball of pure admiration was definitely one that stood out. You could say with utmost certainty that Yuji Itadori was your most devout fan.

He showed up at every concert, purchased tons of your merch, went to almost every fan meet and greet. He was so consistent, you knew him my name at that point.

It was cute at first. That sparkling energy, those lovestruck puppy dog eyes, and that dopey smile he always gave you. Always energetic and happy to see you. Begging you to flash you killer pose he’d seen so often on stage.

It was like—from the second he met you—he was hooked. He just seemed to absolutely adore you. Knew all of your songs, followed every possible social media, and even led a few fan clubs.

After that year, he became much bolder. During your meet and greets he’d often ask for a picture, where he’d shyly pull you into a side hug—flashing a peace sign and bright smile. Now this wasn’t strange, it was something that was always offered in the meet n greet bundle.

Only now his hand seemed to cling on a little more tightly, not willing to let go quite as fast. You’d noticed his breathing picked up and his face flushing. And by the time he actually let go, you were almost a little red.

You’d shrugged it off—something you normally wouldn’t have done if it had been anyone else. Normally baring them from the next meet and greet just for safety sake. But you let it slide. After all, Yuji was a consistent face. Someone you were somewhat familiar with.

But you’d noticed you also started getting pages from the front desk of your pent house apartment more often. There’d been multiple visits from a hooded figure, loitering at the elevators. Trying—but failing to jam the button that lead straight to your floor. Thank fuck for key card access.

You’d been concerned, obviously. And what made it even scarier was the frequency of visits coupled with the lack of any actual resolution. They weren’t caught. Always slipping away just quick enough to miss the security guards.

And then the night came. First it was the knocks. Heavy. Loud. And frantic. You’d been too scared to open the door, immediately searching for your phone to call the police should you need to. Then making your way over to the intercom.

Before you could reach it, the knocks stopped.

This freaked you out enough to grab a kitchen knife—maybe dial the front desk. You’d barely reached the kitchen before you heard it.

Bam! Bam! BAM!

Your head spun around only to find someone’s foot through your front door. You, like any sane person, fucking panic—running to grab that knife before you didn’t have a chance.

You get there just in time to see that hooded figure standing at your kitchen entryway.

And who would you fucking guess, other than Yuji Itadori.

“Y-yuji?”

A huge grin spread across his face at your words. You’d remembered his name. A small pink blush crossed his cheeks. His eyes devoid of much else other than glassiness that reflected you. Damn near cold and dead.

That same lovesick grin he’d worn at every one of your meet and greets.

You couldn’t gauge his next moves, but you knew it wouldn’t be good. You kept your knife firmly in from of you, the only protection saving you from this lunatics psychotic break.

He looked ready to tackle you. And you weren’t sure you’d be able to take him. Something you normally wouldn’t pay attention to—wouldn’t have much reason to.

The dude was fucking built. At least twice as wide and a head whole taller than you.

And he started walking, slow—long strides.

“S-stay back!—“ you swing your knife—albeit a little clumsily. You definitely weren’t a fighter.

He stopped just out of your swinging distance, those same dead eyes staring down at you. His grin somewhat fading, an expression of worry—maybe confusion crossing his face.

“You don’t need to do that.” He makes a grab for your knife tats still latched in your trembling grip. “You’re gonna hurt yourself, cut it out—“

“Stay back!!”

“Hey cut it out—“ his grin falling completely, his expression growing more and more impatient by the second.

His hand shoots out grabbing your wrist with surprising strength. The knife falling between you two. And before you could think of even attempting to reach for it—he’d kicked it away.

“See? What were you thinking?” he muttered, tugging you into a crushing hug, his arms wrapping around you like a vice. His grip was desperate, clinging to you as if letting go would kill him. “Please, please don’t hate me,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “Let’s just go home. I’ll make everything better, I promise.”

You were trembling, frozen in his embrace, the weight of his words sinking into your chest like stones. You didn’t know what to say, what to do—every instinct screamed to run, but his arms refused to let you move.

All you could think was how much you wished you’d never met Yuji Itadori.

come home

[olskuvallanpoe]

the realest thing kaz brekker ever did was take a break from breaking into a house for the purpose of tampering with his homie’s dad’s financials to bend down and give the guard dogs a good ole pet for their troubles.

[bollowed]

[fluffywing-e-tarot]

Twins of Separate Paths: Reunion

Shen Qingqiu sighed as he could finally be in his own house. The peak lord meeting was an absolute slog. The sun was already setting despite Yue Qingyuan's attempts at keeping the meeting under two Sichen, but it had just tipped over into the fifth. Liu Qingge the Brute slammed his hands on the table, giving barely an excuse before storming out. Yue Qingyuan deemed the meeting over after that.

“How was your meeting?” the voice was sultry and teasing.

Shen Quinqiu was on alert again. There, sitting at the table, was someone with his face. He looked as if to had been reading. Someone who should be dead. The identical face smiled, knowing exactly what was going on. 

There were a few things Shen QuingQiu was grateful for his horrid master, Wu Yanzi. Demon identification is one of them.

 “Demon.” Qingqiu hissed in venom. Xiu Yan was pulled, pointing to the demon impersonating his dead brother.

“Hold Shen Qingqiu, this demon will explain,” the imposter said, feigning mock surrender as the blade hummed with Spiritual Qi close to the demon.

“Speak, beast,” Qingqiu said, not having time for any lies. He would not hesitate to kill the impostor.

“This Shi-di brought a gift,” the demon said. carefully holding up a token of his late brother in its fingers, as if the demon wasn't a threat. The Demon was even mocking him by using his brother's name. The stupid number the slavers gave them when they were plucked off the street.

“Speak clearly, demon.” Shen Qingqiu hissed. His Qi cut the demon's cheek. Not even looking at the misshapen wood scrap that was only vaguely shaped to look like a chestnut once they got to the Qiu household and strung on a scrap of leather from Jianluo‘s discarded hair ties.

“This one ate a Yao core seed. When this one was known as Shen Shi, a slave of the Qiu Family.” the Demon said. “The same character you now possess in your Courtesy that is branded into our skin.” The demon's voice was calm. The impostor didn’t flinch. Acting as if he hadn't been cut by Shen Jiu's Qi. So annoying. Shen Qingqiu should just run the demon through.

“You Lie. Shen Shi died.” Shen Jiu said, cutting towards the imposter. The impostor expertly dodged.“Demon!

“Shen Jiu never liked Qiu Huitang despite being betrothed.” the imposter said

Shen Qingqiu stopped Xiu Yan. A hair away from the demon’s neck.

Shen Qingqiu glared and wondered how the demon knew that. “Speak.”

The Demon's breathed out. “This one was once, Shen Shi. A disguised Demon gave this one the option of becoming a demon. This one believes that Shen Jiu found this demon in a death-like state. This shi-di appologies for leaving you. Hu Yuanshi believes that Qiu Jiangluo had despicable intentions towards Shen Shi. Having to run to avoid his plot.”

Shen Qingqiu stares into the Demon's eyes. Looking for any signs of a lie.  Shen Qingqui sits across from his twin. Xiu ya sheathed. “You speak the truth.”

Hu Yuanshi's shoulders slouched in relief. “Thank the Gods.”

“You didn’t reveal yourself for just a simple house call.” Shen Qingqiu said. Observing his twin. “How should I call you?”

“You may call me Shi or Yuan,” the Demon said. Yuan pulled a mask that had been on the table closer to him. Fingers playing with the decorations on the mask, “Whichever you prefer, gege.”

Shen Qingqiu placed down his fan. Yuan was trying to be open. Perhaps, he could do the same.

“I will go with Yuan. What did you want?” Qingqiu circled back to figure out why the Demon was here in the first place. Additionally, how the demon got into Chang Quin.

“Do you remember, around seven years ago, when a Demon entered the sect?” Yuan said eyes more focused on his mask. Qingqiu remembered. He hadn’t seen the demon before it slipped away. But it got in. 

“That demon was me,” Yuan confirmed. The borders and demonic defences would need to be examined. Reoccurrences would be looked at as failure. “On that day, amid the alert of my arrival. This didi saw you. This one had no intention of what happened on that day.”

Was Yuan attempting to apologize? There was nothing lost in the alarm. Maybe a few scraps or burses, but there was nothing lost.

“Since that day, you might have noticed you were exceptionally angry or depressed,” Yuan said. “This afternoon, you were irritated.”

Qingqiu’s eyes narrowed. How would Yuan know that? Yuan noticed locking eyes with him.

“Oh. I didn’t explain that.” Yuan said, “This one is a Yi Quin Yao. This one can, on occasion, connect with another person’s emotions without touching them.”

“This Master sees,” Qingqiu said. His hand was twitching for his fan to hide his contemplation.

Yuan's head snapped up. “You don’t have to lie about understanding. This one will explain.”

Shit. Qingqiu thought he felt my confusion. Wait, he felt my confusion. Several other questions were bouncing around.

“On that day, you marked me.” Shen Qingqiu said. Understanding is finally coming together. With all of Yuan’s statements, he’s said so far.

“Yes,” Yuan said, regret deep in his voice. “My instincts told me to look at you. Deciding that you were worth a feast.”

“Yuan di has waited seven years to tell this one?” Qingqiu demanded. “Not only of your new life. But that you see this one as food!”

“I wanted to break it the moment it formed!” Yuan shouted back, “ I didn’t know how.”

Yuan calmed himself. “Feast Marks, act differently from Meal Marks. With Meal Marks, I take the largest proportion of emotion at the time that made the mark in the first place.”

Yuan is looking directly at Qingqiu’s eyes. “Afterward, if a different emotion brushes up against my mark, it snaps or I break it.”

“Feast marks, as I learned after marking yours. Pull on multiple emotions, and all of the emotions need to be broken. Simultaneously.” Yuan said. Taking a deep breath. As if his next words would condemn him. “This demon made a Feast Mark on Qi-ge.”

"When did this happen?” Qingqiu growled, gripping Xiu Ya’s scabbard.

“Three months ago,” Yuan said. Embarrassed that he couldn’t get to it sooner.

“That’s what changed!” Qingqiu said. His face fell into his hands.“ You always do this, Didi. You go off and make a mess. Then come to me when the problem is beyond what you can handle.”

“Actually, I come with a solution this time.” Yuan said, offended, “This is more your problem than mine.”

“What do you mean?” Shen Qingqiu asked.

“This one didn’t want to feed off of his brother’s,” Yuan said. “Thus, I needed a solution. This one made observations of when the Marks spiked. Noticing that you each peaked around the same time, and thus deduced you were nearby with the most emotions active.” 

“Why do you believe that?”

“Well, you both had regret and sadness during the peak lord meeting. Yue Qingyuan had a little more desire there, too. You had more anger.” Yaun then clapped his hands together. "Thus, to break my curse of feeding off of you and Qi-ge. You two need to talk out your feelings.”

“Why?” Shen Qingqiu was confused about why talking about feelings is necessary.

“You're connected and regretting the actions of the past. The Qiu household needs to be talked about.” Yuan said

“By the Endless Abyss No.” Shen Qingqiu said. A mask of jade features sliding into place.

“I am incapable of breaking  the Feast Marks.” Yuan said Dryly, pointing at Shen Qingqiu, “So it has to be you. Who figures it out. So stop breaking each other’s Hearts. Your Sect Sibblings and Cultivators. A dangerous profession. Talk it out before it’s too late.”

“I think your time here has expired.” Shen Qingqiu said.

“Fine,” Yuan said. Slamming his shoddy carving on the table. Frustration flowed in every one of his movements. Yuan pulls his mask on, concealing all of the features that made them identical. He appeared like a fox. Yuan stomped towards the door. Then stopped.

Yuan turned towards Shen Qingqiu.  They locked eyes.

“This Hu Yuanshi loves his elder brother very much.” The Demon bowed to him. “ This Yuan thanks the Esteemed Peak Lord, of Qing Jing Peak, of the Cang Qiong Moutan sect, Shen Qingqiu, for hearing this Didi, who walks a different path out. This Didi wishes you to find happiness as” 

Yuan pauses, seeming to try to find his words. “ You were the best part about the Qiu Household.”

Yuan steps out of the bamboo house and is gone. Shen Qingqiu follows after him. Desperate words to keep Yuan here, just a little longer. They touch his heavy tongue, but the moment he steps out of the door. Nothing indicates the presence of a demon or which way he traveled.

Shen Jiu wants to shout and cry. He messed up. He pushed his brother away. Like an idiot.

Shen Shi may not be his name any longer. Shen Jiu’s Didi may never return.

Original & Master Post

Next: Romance plot points

Previous: Mistaken Identity

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Some guy broke into my house, ate my last Pop-Tarts, and mocked me. I screamed so loud I woke myself up.

[emily-axford]

CRITICAL ROLE: CAMPAIGN 3 Episode 20: Breaking and Entering...

[i-used-to-be-a-spy]

Lmao another of Michael's daring plans. Sam's face I caaant

S2e1 Breaking and Entering

[mapbottakeamap]

I genuinely so much knowledge of aftg, specifically the extra content and just random things Nora has said, the issue is I don't remember where any of it is from.

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - Spooky Squalid Splatter Scare Squad

For: @bellsandmischief and Jackskellletor

Teenagers desensitized to danger make for ridiculously dangerous paintball games, especially in an ‘abandoned’ construction yard.

Danny stands atop a dilapidated half-built building thing, eyeing the abandoned construction yard stretching out before him like a decaying jungle gym of concrete, rebar, and rust. Warning signs flapping in the breeze. Graffiti covered crumbling walls. It was an absolute twisted mess of steel beams and broken pallets. In short, it was fucking perfect.

No other people.

No ghosts.

No cameras.

And enough broken shit that more broken shit wouldn’t be noticed.

Danny nodding to himself before scaling back down the building to his friends, “cool cool, this works”.

Tucker quirking an eyebrow, “dude, you sure this place isn’t, like, actually condemned or some shit?”, squinting up at a hanging platform that sways concerningly.

Danny shrugging, grabbing his two friends by the waist, and moving to float up, “eh, condemned is just another word for ‘exclusive’”. Landing them down and yanking the strap of his paintball mask tight over his hair, “besides, it adds a hint of the unknown. Makes the game spicy without being, you know, our usual brand of a Bad Idea”.

Sam grumbling, fixing her full face mask, “I swear, if I end up on crutches again, I’m going to break all of your toes and then break them again as soon as they heal up”.

Danny putting a hand to his chest, feigning offence, “ah! How dare!”, then tossing her a fresh clip of neon paintballs, “you said that last time we raced Johnny on foot and still backflipped off of a roof”.

She flips him off, “fuck you and your good points”.

Tucker rolling his eyes at them as he finishes rigging his own harness and checks the pressure on his gun, “okay, remember the rules: no shooting below the belt, some of us have precious jewels to protect. No hits within five feet, because at least two of us can die. No ghost powers, for obvious reasons. And absolutely no shooting my pda-”.

Danny kicks Tucker’s gun, knocking him off balance, and leaps off of the building, shouting, “GO!”, and leaving a bit of a dent in the rusted truck cab below.

Tucker and Sam looking down, both sighing and shaking their heads at each other. At least Danny was nice enough to let them get down before opening fire on them.

Paintballs exploding against the walls as Sam bolts after him, doing a wall run along a cracked cement barrier before springing up onto a ledge that used to be part of an elevator shaft.

Tucker sighing again, “okay cool. So we’re having that kind of day”; promptly sprinting after them. Physical exercise sucked but at least this was fun, gym class should take some pointers on not sucking. Maybe then people will actually like the stupid class and ‘want to be active’.

The three move around like little nightmare gremlins, nightmare gremlins trained in ghost fighting and how to wield a fucking gun. Danny’s a blur, vaulting over steel drums, rolling off of gravel mounds, paintballs flying from both guns like he was actually trying to damage things (he kinda was). Danny landing behind a half-built cinderblock wall, firing three quick shots, and grinning when he hears Sam audibly scowl.

“Oh you really wanna do this today, ghost boy?”.

Danny was definitely not aware that Sam was peeking at him through a slit in some wood scaffolding. Meaning Danny very dumbly responds with, “fuck yeah! Just try and get me. Maybe if you teamed up with Val, you’d have a chance! But she isn’t here is she!”.

Sam scowling and flipping over the edge of the scaffolding, dropping straight down and landing in a crouch before sliding under a barbed wire fence. Popping up on the other side mid-fire. Danny barely ducking, the paintballs splashing behind him.

“Tuck! Wanna cover me!”.

“Fucking why! She’ll kill me!”.

“Didn’t she fill your secondary monitor with sunflower seeds again!?!”.

Tucker blinking, “oh shit yeah, Sam you’re fucking dead”, and he pops up, squeezing off a few bright orange shots that zip past Sam’s shoulder as she dives into cover. Tucker trying to sprint along a bent I-beam after her, leaping the five-foot gap to a crumbling ledge, and scrambling up a rebar ladder to higher ground. Tucker snickering, “nice, sniper perch unlocked!”. The ledge wobbling dangerously beneath his weight. Tucker chuckling nervously, “heh, mostly unlocked”.

But Danny hurls a smoke grenade and a thick green cloud mushrooms out, swallowing half the yard in seconds.

Sam coughing, “THIS IS WHY YOU NEVER WIN STRATEGY GAMES! AND SOME OF US NEED TO BREATH ASSHOLE!”.

Danny cackling, “I PLAY TO CAUSE CHAOS AND MOCK RELENTLESSLY! WINNING GLORIOUSLY IS A BONUS!”. Danny bursting out of the smoke, doing a front flip over a pile of tires, and absolutely nailing Tucker in the chest midair with a blue paintball.

“Are you serious?!”, Tucker wheezing, flopping backwards into the dirt, “I literally just got up here man!”.

“Sucks to suck, Tuck!”.

Sam popping out of the fog and taking advantage of Danny’s smugness to tag him on the arm with a vicious splat of yellow. Danny spinning around and firing practically on instinct, missing her by inches as she rolls into cover.

The yard is practically alive, probably for the first time in a while, with color now; pink, green, blue, and orange paint splattered all across random surfaces like a neon battlefield. Smoke curling in the air, paintballs clattering off of metal, and all three of them are grinning like lunatics.

Tucker wheezing from inside of a low crawl space, “truce?”.

Danny snickering, “only if we use the bucket crane thing next!”.

Sam snarling, “I heard that you goddamn dumbass!”.

But Danny just keeps smirking, pointing up at the old construction crane looming above them, its ladder looks to be still mostly intact, “how much you wanna bet there’s water inside that things bucket?”.

Tucker glares at Danny before sighing, “there’s probably a rusted hole in it, so I’m betting twenty against that”.

Danny snickers and cracks his knuckles, bolting out for the ladder. Tucker sighing and dragging himself across on his belly to get out from his spot and attempt to give chase.

Sam shouting, “you dummies!”, and chasing after too when she spots them, firing twice at them. Tucker absolutely stumbling a little from getting nailed one in the back of the head.

The metal ladder is ancient, spotted in rust, and creaks like it’s narrating its own funeral as Danny hoists himself up the thing. Getting halfway up before either of his friends can get anywhere near the base of the ladder.

Tucker chuckling awkwardly, eyeing Sam who looks a wee bit pissed, “you're gonna kill him, aren’t you?”.

“Oh yeah”, Sam huffing, “but only after I’m done beating the shit out of him”.

They both sprint after him, boots thudding across plywood and gravel. Sam taking a bit of shortcut, leaping from a stack of pallets to a hanging catwalk that swings dangerously under her weight. Tucker, wisely, takes the longer but more stable path; he’d had enough perilous places for today thank you very much. Him ducking under steel beams and crawling over a pile of bricks.

Danny getting to the top of the crane and standing triumphantly in the control booth, sticking his arms out wide, “BEHOLD! MY THRONE!”, grabbing at things, “now to get this baby moving”.

Sam snapping, halfway up the ladder herself, “DANNY GET OUT OF THERE, YOU GODDAMN PAIN IN THE ASS!”.

Danny snickering, “no can do, I’ve got a chance to fuck with one of these things and I’m gonna take it”; and he yanks a lever. The crane’s massive arm groaning, then slowly beginning to swing the bucket around. Danny wiggling a little before starting to crawl out of the drivers area and moving to scale his way up the crane neck.

Sam freezing on the ladder as it creaks, “Danny, for the love of everything. That better be in demo mode”.

Danny shrugging his shoulders as he scooches along, “eh totally probably maybe“.

Below from the base of the ladder, Tucker stares up, groaning, “we’re all gonna die. This is how it ends. Covered in paint and Danny’s poor decisions. Why did I ever agree to this?”.

Danny only laughing more as the wind whips his jacket around as he inches forward, one hand holding one paintball gun like he’s anticipating someone being above him and in need of a shooting. He was getting to that bucket and he was going inside of it and its water. Tucker is so gonna owe him a twenty!

Sam grumbling incoherently as she hauls herself into the control booth and yells up at him, “you are out of your mind! Get down here before you fall or break something!”.

Danny grinning and standing up a little to be crouching on the narrow beam, “can’t. Having too much fun. If you want me you gotta come get me!”.

“You’re gonna end up in the hospital”, Sam shaking her head, “and no. I am not trying to die today Danny”.

Tucker having made his way up and into some scaffolding, starts firing at Danny, it’s not like the guy would die if he fell, would just make a very Danny-shaped crater in the ground. The crane gets painted in orange and Danny starts flailing, “TRAITOR!”.

Tucker chuckling, “YOU DECLARED WAR DUDE!”.

While Danny’s flailing and struggling to cling to the crane neck, Sam leans out of the control booth and starts launching a flurry of shots back at Tucker; before moving onto the crane neck herself, shaking it with every step she takes. She weighs significantly more than Danny after all, everyone does. Tucker starts firing at her too just to be an ass, paintballs zipping past her. Danny also sticking one arm and gun behind him and firing at her while starting to yank himself on his belly further up the crane neck.

Danny successfully making it to the very end of the crane’s arm, where a massive rusted closed bucket dangles above the yard. Without hesitation, he clips his climbing harness onto the buckets connections and shit and leans back like a human pendulum; basically flipping and belly flopping into the damn thing.

Sam stopping her own ascent and gesturing at him, “oh for fucks sake”.

Danny cackles and starts crawling all over the thing to find himself a nice rusted hole big enough for him to squeeze through to get in, maybe he rips off some chunks of weakened metal or two but oh well. Not like anyone’s gonna be using this thing ever again anyways, and no one’s on the ground to get pelted by chunks of falling yellow bucket metal.

Danny’s managed to get his shoulders in, happily splashing his hands in the gross ass water inside, wettest twenty bucks he’s ever made, when a bunch of paintballs slam into his legs in just the right way to make him smack his face into the water before knocking him back out of the bucket. Sending him swinging across the open yard like a soaked neon-streaked wrecking ball; dangling from his harness and the bucket. Tucker ducking just in time as Danny starts blasting paintballs down back at him from midair.

Tucker laughing, “DUDE YOUR FLYING WITHOUT ACTUALLY IGNORING GRAVITY?!”.

“FEAR THE FLYING SWINGING DANNY BALL OF DOOM!”, Danny then doing upside down jazz hands, “AND LOOK! MY HANDS ARE WET! MY FACE IS WET! MY HAIR IS WET! TUCK! YOU OWE ME A TWENTY!”.

Tucker getting up to kick a wall, “damnit!”.

The bucket groaning under Danny’s weight as he swings back towards the crane, still firing. One of his shots hitting the edge of a support beam right as Sam was sliding behind it for cover.

“Danny! That was my face, you shithead!”.

“Battle wounds!”.

Tucker chuckling and shaking his head, “this is the dumbest thing we’ve ever done. Somehow”.

Danny gets slammed against a nearby ledge with a nasty sounding thud, unhooking himself frantically, and pulling himself up. Him wheezing, “that, was goddamn majestic. Ten outta ten would swing again”.

Sam stomping up beside him, yellow paint streaked across her helmet, “sometimes I wonder how you managed to die so young, and then I remember that you’re like this”.

“Aw you love me”.

“Unfortunately”.

Tucker joining them from around a pole, limping slightly, “we good now? Can we not die for, like, five minutes?”.

Danny snorting and rolling his eyes, “fine. Truce. For real this time”, stretching his arms out, “now let’s get out of here before cops or something show up”.

Sam groaning and shaking her head, while Tucker just sighs. But before Danny can fully get up to run off, the ground under him creaks and gives way completely, Danny blinking, “oh shit!”, him falling all the way down and his body banging off of random metal poles, stairs, wood, and bits of paint.

Sam and Tucker looking down the hole, shaking their heads as dust plumes out of the hole followed by a groan. Both of them actively wondering why the moron didn’t just go intangible.

Sam crouching down and shouting down the hole, “YOU ALIVE?!”.

Danny wheezing back, “define alive?”.

Sam making a face, standing up, and firing a few shots down the whole at him, “fuck you and your stupid dead jokes!”.

“JUST FOR THAT I’M NOT HELPING YA’LL GET OUT! HAVE FUN!”.

Tucker sticking his hands out to the side, “DUDE!”. Both him and Sam watching Danny drag himself off, half limping to a wall, flipping them off, and starts climbing it, leaving little finger puncture holes the entire way up.

Sam exchanging a look with Tucker, both lift up their paint guns and start firing at him again.

“HEY!”.

Danny still makes it over, leaving them behind to find their own ways out. Neither are amused but neither have a particularly hard time getting out either.

---

Joseph blinks, lowering his binoculars, and shakes his head, “what the actual hell?”, rubbing his forehead, “I don’t even know how I’m supposed to report this? And this? Yeah this shit is why I never had kids, holy fuck”. He didn’t really care about the trespassing, still had to call it in of course, but it’s not like they were luting or trying to commit acts of arson. The paintball guns made that much super obvious. So sue him, he put off calling it in at first, give the kids some time to have fun. You know, until one of them started climbing the goddamn crane! Yes he’s impressed the kid made it the whole way up but he could have died! And Jospeh’s ass would have been on the line for that! Goodbye Christmas bonus!

But now he has to report on this shit, at least one of those kids definitely got hurt, and he so doesn’t need some angry parent trying to sue the company for not having the place secured enough! Sure he’s glad they got out before the cops showed up, kids should get to be kids after all even if they’re reckless dumbasses about it. But geez.

… He needs a drink.

Well… he might as well get started on that paper work, hopefully pictures of all the paint splatters will keep his bosses from accusing him of being high on the job again. Ugh.

End.

Prompts: Danny sam and tucker play paintball Get in the water.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Someone broke into my place while I was sleeping with the express purpose of trimming my nose hair.