#(cuz I am. really beginning to lose…any sense of hope I had)

[ahgasegotarmy116]

He Doesn't Deserve You | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter Nine

Summary: The morning after has a bit of a rude awakening but he's not gonna let that get between the two of you Pairing: Noona reader x Jeon Jungkook (She's 28 and he's 22) Word Count: 2.4k~ Warnings: Hinting at smut but yeah not in explicit detail. a/n: Okay so I didn't realize I already had half of this chapter written so I finished it up today. I hope you guys enjoy and are looking forward to the next chapter 🤭 p.s. not edited at all cuz I'm feeling lazy today and I've got stuff to do 😅 Start from the beginning

My eyes flutter open when I start to stir awake and the first think I notice is the strong arm around my waist and the soft puffs of air fanning my neck giving me a ticklish sort of feeling. I try to bring my brain up to speed and remember what happened last night and when I take a peek under the blankets and see the tattoos on the arm around me I know that I'm safe. 

"Noona?" he mumbles behind me and I hum to let him know I'm listening. "Good morning" he say, the deep tone of his voice now sending shockwaves through my system and when he pulls me closer to him I let out a quite yelp in response feeling utterly mortified when he chuckles, kissing my shoulder and nuzzling into my neck. 

"Did you sleep well?" he asks and I nod my head, "Better than I have in a really long time actually" I admit and he continues to place a few lazy kisses on my neck. "Really did a number on you last night huh?" he smiles against my skin and I scoff and try to get out of bed but he tightens his hold on me before I can get too far. 

"Where are you going?" he asks, continuing to pepper kisses all along my neck and shoulder, making me lose any sort of motivation I had to leave the bed just a few seconds ago. "Breakfast?" I say and he chuckles before putting me on my back and hovering over me with a cunning look in his eye. 

"I was about to have mine so why don't you just relax yeah? Wanna make you feel good" he says, kissing me and caressing my waist making me give in with little protest. "What time is it?" I asks between kisses and he glances at the clock on my nightstand. "Early" he says, clearly showing he has no where to be except for right here in this bed with me.

"You don't have work?" I ask, knowing he's pretty busy with everything he has going on in his life. "Not till later" he says and goes back to kissing me and because I don't have anywhere else to be either I give in.

He kisses his way down my body, garnering soft sounds of pleasure from my lips already and I can tell that it gives him a sense of confidence, making him want to keep going even more. 

"Didn't know you would sound so sweet in the morning Noona" he teases and I chuckle. "Didn't know you would be so needy in the morning" I retort and he smirks and continues his down ward trail until he settles between my legs. 

"You sure I'm the one that's needy?" he asks, staring at my center and seeing how undoubtably wet I am. "It's your fault" I grumble and he chuckles "Good because I'm the only one who's gonna make you wet like this from now on yeah?" he asks, kissing the inside of my thigh and biting down on it when I don't answer, hypnotized by the sight in front of me.

"Only you" I respond and he smiles against my skin, licking the spot he had just bit before going on and doing the same to my other thigh, still taking his time and making sure I'm dripping for him.

~~~~

After he's thoroughly ravished me and gone another round...or two I'm left in a slumped daze, glassy eyed and ready to pass out again but it's well past ten in the morning and we still haven't left the bed yet. 

"I forgot that younger guys have a higher sex drive" I mumble and he laughs, his head on my chest while I run my fingers through his hair, "You keep calling me young but we're only six years apart" he replies drawing patterns on my skin but I sit up making him roll onto his back and look up at my clearly confused expression. 

"You're twenty two?" I say in disbelief, clearly misjudging his age. "Yeah I thought you new that" he says, resting on his forearms. "How old did you think I was?" he asks and I run my fingers through my hair, having some what of a crisis at the thought of this. 

"I don't know twenty four, twenty five. But twenty two? You seem so mature though and with all the tattoos and piercings I just thought you would've been a little bit older. Not older than me but still at least a little older" I say and the room falls silent for a bit, the tension palpable and this time not in a good way. 

"Is my age gonna be a problem for you?" he asks, getting worried now that he's seeing the way I'm reacting to it, the silence and the somewhat distressed look on my face being a clear sign that something isn't right. 

"Well no it's just...Jungkook I'm gonna be turning twenty nine this year" I say and he nods his head. "I know, and I'm turning twenty three" he says, trying to make light of the situation but I'm still worried that he might be a little in over his head. 

"I'm a married, well about to be a divorced woman and I don't really want to be playing games anymore when it comes to finding a partner" I say and he nods his head, listening and not jumping in to argue which just shows another reason as to why I thought he was older. 

"I'm not interested in getting into a casual relationship and even though I'm going to be coming out of this traumatizing marriage, if I'm going to be in a relationship with someone then I need to know that they're going to be serious about us" I say and trail off, not really knowing what else to say. 

"I am serious about us" he says, sitting up and cupping my face, not giving me a chance to shut him out. "Jungkook you're still young. You have your whole life ahead of you and I don't think you wanna be tied down to a divorced woman who is honestly really unstable right now. And on top of that is about to have a psycho ex husband" I say, looking down at my lap, feeling bad that I let him get so close to me. 

"Don't do that" he says and I look up at him again, "Do what?". "Think about how to let me down easy and tell me you're sorry you let things go this far" he says and I can't argue that that was where my mind was about to wander. 

"I know our age difference, I know about your soon to be ex husband and I know that you're not healed yet. I promise you, I've thought about this a lot before ever allowing myself to get too close to you" he says, his tone level and face desperate for me to not leave him when we've only just started. 

"You don't have to say anything now, but I want you to know you're not getting rid of me that easily" he says with a sad smile, nervous that I might actually try to push him away but when he makes moves to get up I grab his wrist. 

"Where are you going?" I ask, my voice in a panic, not wanting to leave things this tense between us. "Breakfast? Or do you wanna shower first?" he asks, getting back onto the bed and guiding me back down, him now peppering kisses along my already thoroughly  marked neck, no doubt a conscious effort to hide the bruises from Taehyung. 

"I think I'll s-shower" I stutter and when he smiles against my skin and picks me up I quickly have to correct him. "Alone...is that okay?" I ask, a sign of the need for approval being something concerning for him rather than cute. 

"You don't have to ask for my permission Noona, especially for something like this. I respect your wants and boundaries so if you wanna shower by yourself that's your decision" he explains and places me down on my feet before turning on the water for me to warm it up. 

"Although I won't deny it when I say I'll miss you...but I'll take one later" he says with what I would call an adorable smile if he wasn't standing in front of me completely naked, having fucked me senseless at least four or five times in less than twelve hours...I've lost track at this point.

He places a hand on my bare waist and places a kiss on my forehead before leaving to give me space. 

When I come out of the bedroom, completely dried off except for my towel dried hair I find him wandering about my kitchen and making us some ramen for breakfast...well lunch since he kept me in bed for so long.

He notices my presence after I had been standing there for a while, looking up at me and smiling softly. I can't even remember the last time someone has looked at me like. 

"Did you have a nice shower?" he asks, taking the ramen off the stove and bringing it over to the table, placing a hot dish under to prevent the table from getting ruined. "Yeah, it was warm" I say, wrapping my arms around myself when I catch a sudden chill which he notices pulls me in, wrapping me in his warmth for a second before letting me go and leading me over to the table. 

"Let's eat before it gets soggy" he says and I nod, agreeing and taking a seat while he goes around to the other side so he can sit across from me. 

"What time do you have work?" I ask after we've eaten in a comfortable silence for a while. "Why? Are you trying to get rid of me?" he says after he's finished chewing, taking a drink of water and sitting back a bit, shamelessly checking me out for absolutely no apparent reason other than to make me nervous. 

"No, I just wanted to know since you said you didn't have to work until later" I roll my eyes, taking a drink of water and standing up to pour the rest of the unused broth down the drain. "I technically don't have work but it might as well be work" he says making me glance over at him suspiciously, wordlessly asking him to explain. 

"I have to watch my siblings tonight since my mom is working the late shift" he explains and I nod my head, still so curious about them since he hasn't told me much about his family. 

"You could come with me if you want?" he offers I splash water on myself, surprised that he would suggest that already. "Come with you? To your house? To meet your family?" I ask, my pulse picking up at the thought of it. I don't know why that makes me so nervous but maybe it's because I haven't met anyone new in a while, let alone my boyfriend's family...

Can I even call him that yet?

"You don't have to. I just thought I would offer since I didn't know if you'd wanna be home alone after everything that happened last night" he says and I can tell from that alone that he really does have pure intentions behind it.

"You don't think it's too soon? Plus what about this?" I ask, pointing out my very clearly love bitten neck and he chuckles, clearly enjoying the external struggle I'm having in front of him as if he wasn't the cause. 

"You have a turtle neck yeah?" he asks, heading into my room with me trailing behind him sighing and deciding I'll go since I really don't wanna stay here by myself. "Yeah I guess I could wear one" I mumble pulling one out of my closet and grabbing a few more things to complete the outfit.

When I turn around I see him sitting down on my bed with his legs spread as if he were ready to watch me strip. "What are you doing?" I ask, both of us knowing damn well what he's doing but playing the game anyway. "Watching...waiting" he answers, leaning back on his hands and dragging his eyes up and down my figure. 

I give in just a bit, slipping my shirt off over my head and revealing the fact that I'm not wearing a bra but he clocked it when I first came out. I walk over to him, his eyes having been staring at the change to looking up at me, grabbing my hips once I get closer. 

"Sit down yeah?" he asks, wanting to go again since from what he told me it had been a while since the last time he had been with anyone, completely obsessed with making me cum but I don't give in this time and shake my head which results in a very cute pout from him. 

"Just for a little bit?" he asks as if I would ever believe him but with the way he's started to play and kiss my breasts it makes me start to second guess my stance. "I don't wanna have to take another shower" I say, stepping back and making him even poutier from having thoroughly tease himself and can clearly see how worked up he's started to get me but I choose to ignore it. 

I can't give in every time he wants to have sex right? No matter how good he makes me feel...

"Come on go shower, I'll wash your clothes" I say and grab one of his hands and lead him towards the bathroom. He sighs and starts stripping leaving me looking away, as if I hadn't seen it all just a few hours ago. 

"Are you shy now?" he teases and tosses his clothes at my feet, making me look down and grab them quickly. "No I just didn't want to stare" I explain but shoot myself in the foot since I basically admitted that I would stare at his naked body if he let me, which he probably would. 

"You can if you want to, I won't be embarrassed" he taunts, immediately proving my point. "Just go shower you pervert" I sigh and pick up his clothes, quickly shutting the door behind me, gaining me a few faint chuckles in response before I hear the shower turn on.

He's gonna be the death of me.

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[ilys00ga]

𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀, 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀.

➞ pair: yoongi x reader.

➞ genre: hurt/comfort (why do I keep making these lmao), established relationships, I'm so bad at tagging sorry.

➞ warnings: angst and fluff cuz we all need that (we really do). reader has anxiety and abandonment issues, yoongi is trying his best for the sake of both of them, just relationship things.

➞ A/N: requested by @parkjennykim, this was very fun to write! thanks for yet another idea <3 I hope u like it. I'm organizing this blog/post (?) while listening to mono, and let me tell yall, it's such a vibe omg. I think you should read this while listening to that album, I love it sm, I can't even begin to explain UGH- if namjoon ever goes on a world tour, he better perform every single song in that album, cuz imma be losing my mind in the crowd, esp during moonchild. my vocal cords are already getting sore. yeah. if u want this to hit that spot, maybe u should do what I said (this is a friendly order, if u will). if not, just enjoy and pls ignore any mistakes, english has been challenging me recently (for the last 10 years lmao)

ps. I am in a dire need of a yoongi in my life. specifically the one I wrote in this one. oh how I love being a lonely fanfic writer <33

★ MASTERLIST.

ᵎᵎ 𖦹彡⋆｡˚・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

God knows how long it had been after it hit midnight when Yoongi stood in the kitchen. His eyes were red and heavy with drowsiness, but he couldn't sleep that night.

How does one sleep through a restless, biting night?

Surely not with a bad headache, or overflowing thoughts, and especially not with guilt chewing on his core.

He gulped, throat begging to be quenched as it held onto a slight, delicious, yet bothersome burning sensation. He opened the fridge and filled a glass with some water, raising it to his lips when loud a cry of his name, followed with a thud and a number of sobs, disturbed the quiet of the night and made him jump, startled.

His limbs froze in their place, glass almost slipping his hand and crashing on the floor when his sleep deprived brain realized that the muffled cries were yours.

Wide awake, he dashed after the sound. Thirst and sleep no longer occupied his mind, all he could think of was holding you in his arms.

He found you on the stairs, trembling as you wailed into your hands.

He hated it so much: seeing you in pain. He wanted nothing more than to shield you from the rainfall of your gloomy sky, from his own rainfall, from the world. How could one be an umbrella and the rain at once?

He blinked, once, twice, then gulped and heaved a deep, tired breath.

One storm doesn’t require another storm to be calmed down, that he knew. One needs to be composed and collected to stand still during a storm, that he knew as well.

With worried eyes, he gently called out your name and walked up to you, “darling, what’s wrong?”

You looked up as soon as you heard his worried voice, some tiny sense of relief washed over you when you saw him right there. A hundred daggers digged so deep into his heart and bones, aching, the moment a broken whimper of his name fell from your lips.

Without a second thought, Yoongi hugged your face to his chest. One of his hands was patting your back and the other affectionately caressed your head.

As he listened to his name that never left your lips, Yoongi held you there on the cold of the stairs with nothing but sweet nothings whispered back to your ears.

Everything he did and said was so gentle and soft, like he was so afraid you'd crack and come to tiny bits and pieces at any given moment. It all made you want to cry even harder, to hold him so tight and never let go.

Soon, when your tears started winding down, pulled away and cradled your face with his hands, palms faintly pressing on your cheeks as if he hoped to share their warmth with you.

Tender eyes met your wet ones and stared as their owner’s voice made its way through the noise of your sniffles and hiccups. He said, “It’s alright. I'm here. Talk to me, hmm?”

You answered his plea with a small nod, before wiping your tear stained skin and hugging him again. He smelt like home. You took a deep breath, greedily feeding your lungs with his lovely scent.

He hugged you back, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling your body closer to his. He pressed light kisses on your temple, patiently waiting for you to talk.

“I had a really scary nightmare. so, so scary- I woke up, didn’t find you there- then…then I remembered the fight we had earlier. I…I thought I lost you- I'm sorry. sorry for the stupid things I said earlier. I love you so much! please don’t leave. please..”

Your voice quivered with fresh tears ready to be spilled again. Yoongi started hushing you as soon as he noticed that you were working yourself up.

Squeezing you in his arms, he whispered “I never left, and I never will.”

“I’m all right, nothing happened to me, see?” he leaned away just enough to allow you to take a quick look at his body, then added, “a stupid fight is not going to make me leave. I love you way too much for that, and I'm sorry for hurting you too.”

He could still read fear and uncertainty all over your face, and he didn't like that. He knew that you trusted him, and he didn't doubt your love for him.

At first, he didn't get it. He didn't understand the insecurities, the anxiety and the nightmares you suffered from especially after the inevitably worst of arguments that happened between you and him. But after longer and deeper talks, with you expressing your feelings and him listening with careful ears, it made much more sense to him.

Sometimes he hated himself for triggering your alarms and making it harder for you, but he knew it was neither his fault nor was it yours.

Growth and pain are two key elements that come arm in arm with love, and fights are an unpreventable part of any kind of relationship. For all that, he always ended up blaming himself for making you question your worth to him when he can't even sleep without you happily cuddling his side.

Softly, lovingly, he started prepping tender kisses over your cheeks, nose, forehead, chin, temples, all over your flushed face.

It worked like watching waving fields of green wheat dancing with the wind, your storm started to slowly die down and your heart felt at ease again. slowly, but definitely.

Smiling ever so affectionately, Yoongi sealed his reassurance with a loving kiss that consumed you whole, and it left the corners of your mouth curving up in a dazzling smile. You nuzzled his chest and sighed.

“I really hate fighting with you.” you mumbled into his clothed chest, drained and light headed from all the crying and nearly-a-panic-attack you went through.

“I know, I'm sorry. I hate it too." he whispered back.

There was a pause of comfortable silence, with both of you breathing each other in, before he wondered aloud: “did you fall down the stairs? are you okay?”

You chuckled breathily at his question, recalling the hysteria he had to deal with just a few minutes ago. But Yoongi was there, right beside you. your arms were tightly wrapped around his torso, right by your side.

He had some kind of exceptionally irrepressible magic in those fierce eyes and that gummy smile of his, you inarguably couldn’t be more grateful for that.

“I'm alright. Was too busy crying, I didn’t even feel a thing to be honest.” you said, and he giggled.

“I love when you’re clumsy like that, but please be more careful, muffin. Can’t have you hurting yourself because of me even more." Even with your face buried into the crook of his neck, you could feel and hear the heavy pout in that comment.

Huffing, you leaned away with furrowed brows and a strict gaze. Yoongi gulped. Hesitation took over him, yet he knew that honesty is the only thing that must be present to drive this conversation to an end.

Honestly brings clarity, he found himself reminding himself of that very often.

"as long as we take care of each other, it's okay. I love you." you affirmed, and perhaps Yoongi almost teared up because of the way you looked at him right then and there. He wouldn't utter a word to spoil that information out loud, though.

The shy grin and the flushed cheeks you were met with were worth risking the entire world and its eight billion residents. You couldn't help but smile and pull him into another hug.

"This is great and all, but my butt is numbed. I think there's no blood flowing down there anymore," he said, his heart swooning when you giggled at his humorous change of topic, so relieved that he was finally able to hear your brightness again.

"Let's go back to rest, darling." He stood up, grabbed your hand and squeezed it in his, then gently pulled your body up and dragged you to your shared bedroom, where everything and everyone else meant little to nothing at all as you laid in each other's arms.

[danpuff-ao3]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💙

Oooh, thanks for passing this to me, Lizzy! 😄 Let's see....100 fics, how to choose 5? 🤔 Well all know #1 already, don't we? 😂 So I'll take a leaf out of Lizzy's book and do a countdown to 1!

5.) A Matter of Time

Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 3,686. Written for Snarry Adopt-a-Prompt 2022. Features reverse chronology and alternating POVs! Also: ambiguous/open ending (my love!) It feels like the Snarry of my youth, that angsty and spicy student/teacher, and some good old fashioned tragedy! I really feel like I pulled the thing off with this one! (What is said "thing"? Who knows.) Also, not to pat myself on the back but...that final line? Ouch.

4.) Cruel Summer

Harry/Sirius. Rated: E. Words: 5,445. Minor Harry/Severus. Written for HP Chan Fest 2022-2023. Features gorgeous art by @mrviran. It's a fic I've had floating around my noggin' for a few years but finally felt the call to write for Chan Fest! Our two beloved, troubled boys (Harry and Sirius) live together post PoA, and sees them through plenty of dysfunction, manipulation, and other problematic content 🤭 They have a very complicated (and angsty!) connection and I am so so pleased with how it came out! It's very bit as spicy, sad, and twisted as I'd hoped!

3.) The Curse of Anteros

Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 52,566. Written for Snarry Bang 2023. Inspired by an episode of Charmed called "Magic Hour" (which itself was inspired by a movie called Ladyhawke). This is another idea I've long wanted to write, but never knew how to write it until now. Curses, fairytales, magical animals, true love!! Begins with student/teacher and carries on through time to old men Snarry!!!! This fic really grew way out of control and I'm so glad it did. It feels like...a "proper" story, if that makes sense? Actual plot! Novel length! Who am I even???? Anyway I'm stupidly proud of this one. Also: ART BY MRVILLAIN AGAIN, MY BELOVED TEAMMATE, I'M OBSESSED. Like...idk I'm blown away. Which sounds bad cuz this is my story, but I don't care. This is genuinely a story that not only was I so pumped to create, but one that I'd have LOVED to read as a reader! Had someone else written this I'd have lost my mind reading it. I hate saying that, it sounds so arrogant, but I don't care, I'm losing my mind over this one. I wrote it in like 2 weeks!!!! This fic POURED out of me! And I love it!

2.) Collateral Damage

Draco/Ron. Rated: E. Words: 16,071. Written for Ron-Draco Fest 2021. The first draft of this got to like 10k before I had to scrap it and start totally over. Somehow the original opening kept winding down the wrong path. So finally after fighting with it for way too long (and only 2 weeks to go until it was due), I gave it up and tried again. Decided: "hey, let's open with porn and see what happens." Well...That worked. That did it. All I needed was to open with a BJ for magic to happen, who knew? I ended up with a story I was super jazzed about, and to my great surprise (and pleasure!) others loved it, too!!

1.) Contempt | Devotion

Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 20,400 | 25,843. Written for Snarry-a-Thon 2022 and 2023. This one's cheating a bit since it's technically 2 fics, but it's also the same story in different POVs so...it kinda counts, right? Also I know people have told me they liked Devotion more but I can't help but admit that Contempt itself still holds the top spot in my heart! And while I think say The Curse of Anteros is a better overall story, I don't think any fic ever will top Contempt. I mean, never say never, but Contempt is the story of dreams. It's my heart and soul. It's the Snarry I've always wanted to write. The story, the dynamic, the characterizations, everything. It's everything I've wanted in a Snarry since I first began reading Snarry 20 years ago. Like...I have no words to express just how meaningful this work is to me. This is literally the culmination of all of my Snarry feels. I dragged this story out of my gut. I pulled it out of my skin and wrote it in my blood. That's how connected I am to this work. (Wow that sounds really dramatic but also...true.)

Genuinely I was so cared people would hate it, but I wrote it anyway because I needed it and I loved it. I'm very glad to say that plenty of others love it with me! And this is another one @mrviran offered love to in the form of a podfic! (Plus cover art!) I'm fully obsessed with the podfic (AND ART!) and I get all teary eyed when I think about it, that my dear friend worked so hard to bring more life to my baby. 🥹

Kinda funny how my favorite works (and what i consider some of my best works) were all for fests. Fests really do inspire me, even if they make me want to pull my hair out. 😂

Also is it cheating to give honorary mentions to Lover Boy at Play, In My Veins (In My Blood), Orange Blossoms, Teardrop in Your Palm, and Black Skies? 👀

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

Metal Sonic is such a deep character you guys

IT IS LATE IN THE NIGHT AND I HAVE SCHOOL IN THE MORNING BUT THE BRAINWORMS ARE BRAINWORMING SO I HAVE NI CHOICE BUT TO DUMP THIS SUPER DUPER ANALYSIS ON IDW METAL SONIC AKA THE PSYCHOLOGY OF A ROBOT. PLEASE ENJOY CUZ I AM VERY SLEEPY.

Okay, we all know who Metal is. If I have to explain who this adorkable little scrimblo is to you then why are you reading this? (Hope that didn’t sound mean I’m sorry) And he’s one of the most beloved Sonic characters in the fandom, at least from what I’ve heard, and it makes sense! The guy’s debut was fucking awesome! But even though I know a lot of you love the fact that the guy is just pure evil due to his software and his loyalty to Eggman and blah blah blah… I’m not too into that.

HECK YEAH BAYBEEEEEE IM GIVING YOU REASONS WHY METAL HAS A CHANCE AT REDEMPTION LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Now I will be covering everything that is strictly within the IDW timeline, which is still a bit unclear when it comes to past events. So, for simplicity’s sake, I’ll only be including all the mainstream Sonic games that take place before the comics, including the storybook games as they were referenced in the beginning of the Metal Virus saga. (And also including the OVA to some degree) Now then, with that out of the way, ENOUGH DILLY-DALLYING!! LET’S GET TO THE FUCCIN MEAT OF THIS BITCH!!

Metal was created way back when Sonic was still just a kid. Amy still had a crush on the guy, Tails was still gaining his sense of independence, and Knuckles was still an idiot. And compared to Sonic himself, Metal was the superior to all of them. He had speed, guts, glory, strength, smarts, wit, and a willpower that rivaled the original blue hedgehog! Compared to the rest, Metal was simply better in every way!

But when he went head-to-head against the organic blue idiot, something went wrong. Metal had completed his objective, tracked down Sonic and beat him to a pulp, but then without falter, the guy challenged him to a race… And he won.

How, though?? Metal is superior! He is the better version of whoever the heck this… This weird, fleshy, quillt monster is! He’s faster, stronger, smarter…! Everything about him just screams perfection! So how did he lose to the inferior shade of blue!? Why couldn’t he catch up!? Why was this amateur so much better than him!?

Why did he act like he was better than Metal…?

A few months later, Metal began studying the blue rodent via Robotnik’s hidden cameras all throughout Mobius. He began seeing things from his point of view, seeing how bright and disgusting his life was. But what really caught his attention was when Sonic bled. Red ooze dripped from his knee when he took a particularly dangerous tumble, the liquid from within staining the Mobian’s quills. He washed it out in the nearby river just a few moments later, but that moment always stuck with Metal. He tried many times to get himself to bleed red as well, tried everything from needles to dangerous tests to going out of his way to get beat up all over again! But no matter what he did, no red ooze trickled down his leg like Sonic the Hedgehog’s had.

This meant that Sonic was organic. He was born and raised where he stood, since according to classic Mobian biology, one had to go through many years of growth and development if they were to bleed. Sonic was one of those people, having grown and developed and changed and… Well. That could only mean one thing, could it? Metal had only been born a few months ago, but Sonic… He was probably years old at this point, meaning he had come first.

Metal was not the original.

After coming to this disappointing realization, Metal gained a few upgrades. No longer would he be bested in a race against that disgusting blue rodent, no! Now he was better, faster, stronger than he ever could’ve imagined! And with these new upgrades, Metal swept the floor with his organic counterpart on the icecaps, and didn’t leave any room for improvement on the other’s end.

AND I HAVE TO CUT IT THERE BECAUSE IM FUCKING TIRED AND IDK WHAT ELSE FO WRITE FOR NOW IM SORRY IM SORRY I HAVE TO IT IS 11:30 IN THE PM RIGHT NOW AND I HAVE SCHOOL AND I WOULD LIKE TO GO TO BED SOON OKAY IM SORRY BUT SLEEP IS MORE IMPIRTANT THAN CHARACTER ANALYSIS I KNOW I KNOW

I PROMISE I WILL CONTINUE THIS BECAUSE I LOVE METAL A TON SO YES THIS WILL CONTINUE HOPEFULLY TOMORROW

Thanks for reading and have a great day/night!

[novelconcepts]

It’s really something else to try to focus on finances and yard work and whether or not we need a new roof, all while the constant threat of a fascist removal of any and all rights i hold dear just, uhhh, hovers stage-right of things. Really just. The kind of adventure that most has me craving boredom, tbh.

[commonwealthoccurences]

If It's A War You Want

Request: Idea: Sole at the end of Blind Betrayal threatening "You lay one hand on Danse, and you start a war with me!" Can't trust Bethany Esda to write a proper conclusion for my boy Danse, so I trust u cuz ur writing slaps.

Word Count: 2,2027

Warnings: Threats, canon typical violence mentions

It was never supposed to turn out like this.

Sole hadn’t exactly come to love the Brotherhood’s ideology, specifically surrounding their opinions on synths, but it was a means to an end. It was messy, and at times downright infuriating. But Sole never intended to go face to face with them; the priority was the Institute. Once they were out of the picture, Sole intended to enjoy what was considered retirement in the Wasteland, and take up the role of a simple farmer.

Everything shifted once Elder Maxson told them about Danse and then ordered them to kill him. They couldn’t even think to react, to lash out in astonishment or in disgust. They were whisked away and before they knew it, they were being told his location by Scribe Haylen, and off they went. On an assassination mission for one of the people they cared about most in the Wasteland.

Of course, that was never going to happen. The walk to his location left them a lot of time to think. To come up with a plan, specifically. First, they wanted to hear his side of the story. It didn’t matter whether or not he was a synth, but they couldn’t imagine what he was going through, the stress, the betrayal, the possible resentment. Then, they would get him out. Wherever he wanted to go, they would get him there safely.

There would always be a place for him in Sanctuary. If it appealed, the Railroad could do what they did best, though they doubted he would want to lose what little he had left of his identity. Whatever Danse needed, they were there.

Before long, they were shooting down the turrets outside of the bunker Scribe Haylen said they would find him in, and they crept in, gun held in a tight grip by their side. Sole wasn’t sure what state of mind he’d be in. Whether or not he’d be defensive, whether or not he expected an enemy instead of a friend. He was smart. Maybe he expected Elder Maxson to test them the way he was, to send them after him to prove the loyalty Danse knew had wavered the very first day they stepped on the Prydwen.

There was water dripping from the ceiling, a leak of some sort made obvious from the heavy rains. The incessant dripping grew more and more irritating as Sole took careful steps through the damp hallways, jaw clenched, boots barely making a sound. It was a break in the structure of the wall that opened up to the end of their journey. Carefully, they straightened up, and stepped through the crumbled wall. “Danse?” Sole asked, cautious. They raised their hands on either side of their head in an attempt to appear non threatening.

But when Danse turned around, it was apparent he wasn’t going to make any attempt to defend himself. His gun was across the room, bullets scattered on the floor, magazine a few feet away. “Danse?” They repeated, tone softer, as they holstered their weapon.

“If you’re here to kill me, get it over with. Please.”

“Danse, I’m not here to kill you.”

He laughed, but there was no humor to his tone. “You should be. There’s no way you made it here without Maxson finding out, and if you’re disobeying direct orders….”

“I don’t give a damn about his orders, Danse. You know that.”

Danse scoffed. Yeah, he knew that. They had never been great at taking orders from anyone in the Brotherhood, until he asked them himself. It was obvious where their loyalties lied, and maybe he was selfish, but he had been okay with that. Now? Now, their misguided trust was only going to put them in danger. He knew that if they didn’t take back his holotags, they would be the next to fall. It was the way the Brotherhood worked. He had been a cog in their machine, after all; he knew better than anyone.

He turned away. It was nearly unbearable to look at them, at the hope they had represented for him in the year that they had been around, and the fact that they were looking at him pleadingly, a silent begging for him to go with them, and directly result in their death. “Get it over with, Soldier.”

“I’m not a soldier. Danse. You know I was never one of their soldiers. Don’t make this decision for me, please. It’s hard enough.”

Maybe if he begged them, they would go through with it, and they’d be safe. Of course, Danse didn’t want to die, if the loss of his life even counted as death, considering what had been discovered. But between the options of him living just a moment longer with the hope that he could return to some semblance of normal only for both of them to die, or for him to die for Sole to live, Danse would not hesitate in choosing them every time.

The drip hadn’t gone away. It drove at Sole’s patience as they stood there in silence, waiting for Danse to come to his senses. Or maybe it was them who needed sense, the sense to just move, to grab Danse and drag him away where no one could hurt him again. They nearly fully considered it when he spoke. “You’re not going to change your mind, are you?”

They wanted to laugh, but instead, sucked in a deep breath and tapped their fingers against their thigh. “Have you met me?”

Danse nodded slowly. “Yeah.” He turned and looked at them. “It was a blessing in disguise. More than I knew, in the beginning.”

They found themself clenching their jaw tighter in an attempt to suppress the urge to cry. “Danse, let’s go. We can go back to Sanctuary and figure this all out. You don’t have to stay here and be alone in this miserable ass bunker.”

“Are you sure?”

“Danse, please. Let’s go home.”

It would be a long process, of course. To get him settled in Sanctuary, into a civilian lifestyle, without all the heavy-duty armor and the rigid structure to keep him firmly in place. But he would figure it out, Sole knew; he was much more resilient than he’d ever given himself credit for. They held out their hand and placed it on his shoulder when he stepped forward.

They guided him over to his weapon and loaded it for him before placing it firmly in his hands. “You still need to defend yourself.” The double-meaning of their words hung in the air between them as Danse stared them down. He nodded choppily.

The walk out of the bunker seemed much shorter than the trip in, and to Sole’s relief, they put distance between them and the dripping leak faster than they expected. As soon as they were relieved from one pressure, the next appeared in front of them. Through the thick rain, they could see the shadow of a familiar figure, one dressed in an oversized coat that they had thought many times would go for a high price at Myrna’s. “We don’t have to do this, Maxson.” They had to raise their voice to be heard over the pounding rain.

“You had orders, Soldier. Explain yourself, or I end this now.”

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. And I’m not your soldier.”

Sole could feel the rage radiating off Maxson. The vastness of his ego must’ve taken a dent from being so blatantly disrespected. “Sole, he’s right.” Danse piped up from over their shoulder, not loud enough to be heard by the leader of the Brotherhood, but clearly heard by Sole. They shook their head and raised a hand, clearly signalling him to be quiet. “See, Maxson. I’m not as stupid as you think I am. I didn’t come out here blind. I knew you were testing me.”

They took a step forward, despite the fact that they felt adrenaline and anxiety thrumming in their chest. God knows the rain wasn’t helping, with the way they had to squint to be sure they had an eye on Maxson’s weapon. “I didn’t leave straight away. I have help, Elder, and I don’t take risks without insurance. I’m sure once you return to the Prydwen, after being unsuccessful in locating both Danse and I, that you’ll find many hidden explosive charges located throughout your beloved airship.”

Danse’s sharp intake of breath was barely audible, and they hoped he didn’t make his surprise too obvious. Of course, they were lying through their teeth; they hadn’t had time to even think before they were being ushered out of the Prydwen on their mission. But Maxson didn’t know that. He had simply sat back in his chair and expected them to clean up a mess that didn’t even exist.

“You’re bluffing.” Maxson called back.

“Do you really want to find out? You lay a single hand on Danse, and you’ll start a war with me. With me and the Minutemen, and while you may have protocols and guidelines, know that I will stop at nothing if something happens to someone I care for.”

Silence. If there was anything Maxson cared about more than being respected, it was the Brotherhood. If what they had said was true, they could turn the entire Eastern branch of the Brotherhood into gory, scrap metal ridden confetti and then follow up with their own, albeit small, army if there were any survivors. They shifted their grip on their weapon and raised their chin; this was the moment of truth. Would they get away with their companion in a nerve wracking scrape, or would they die for their loyalties?

Their heart thudded, even when Maxson lowered his weapon and took a half step backwards. The pressure was off, ever so slightly. “Go. You can return to wherever you came from, but if either of you are seen again-”

Maxson didn’t have to finish. The pair knew exactly how little they had as an advantage, and they were lucky to get as far as they did. Sole managed to not burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation and instead gave him a sharp nod before their hand returned to Danse’s shoulder, and they began their departure to Sanctuary.

The first half of their journey was silent. Each was lost in their own thoughts about the situation, about what their futures may look like now that Sole had threatened war against one of the more powerful Commonwealth presences. Danse’s footsteps faltered momentarily just as they made it to Quincy. “Were you- did you actually have the means to blow up the Prydwen?”

Sole, overwhelmed with the confrontation of what they had said, burst out laughing. “God, no, Danse! But I had to think of something. If I didn’t have any leverage we would’ve ended up as ghoul feed.”

Danse frowned. “I told you you should’ve-”

“I know what you said, and it was the worst idea you’ve ever had. Try not to top it in the future, would you?”

The humor fell flat, Danse’s expression barely illuminated by the first rays of sunlight peeking over the horizon. “Look, Danse. I made my choice, there’s no going back, and even if there was, I wouldn’t change my mind. Even if I couldn’t blow up the Prydwen at that moment, I was serious. I would’ve started a war that rivaled the Great War. I still will, if he sends anyone after you.”

“Sole, you can’t possibly mean that.”

Whatever semblance of humor fell from their demeanor. They closed the gap between them and Danse and looked him in the eye. “I know that the Brotherhood may have made you feel otherwise, but you have people that will fight for you, Danse. You have me, and you have the Railroad and Sanctuary now. And it might be hard to believe, but I’ll spend every day proving it to you. Do you understand?”

Danse swallowed. The nod he gave them was barely visible. Stunned. They gave him a weak smile and brushed a strand of his hair away from his eyes. “Let’s go home, Danse.”

[teresa-moyocoyotzin]

short recap of my thoughts on 5x09

okay so i was gonna rewatch the whole episode and do a blow-by-blow reaction post but i’m not sure i’ll have time and i kinda wanna focus on watching my fave scenes from the show before tonight. also, everyone else’s reaction posts p. much sum up my thoughts lol 

nonetheless, i just wanted to give my main takeaways on the episode a week later, in case anyone cares where i’m at going into the finale! gonna go over the things i liked first, anyone who wants to just remain positive and not see any salty takes might wanna just stick to reading the first part b/c i definitely rant a bit at the end lmao. we’re still having a fun time tho 😂

THINGS I LOVED

- i mean... i think we know LOL

- obviously. i loved james and teresa’s i love you scenes, and kisses, and OOF THAT SEX SCENE. if someone had told me we were gonna get that scene back in like 2017??? i probably would have started literally floating. i totally respect that people had very specific ideas of what they wanted out of those scenes and could have different feelings about it but NOT ME BABES I AM ECSTATIC!!! i did go into the episode with a ~feeling~ that we were gonna get at least one ILY in the episode, and i just had a feeling it would be james, or at least that he would say it first. i’ve already explained in my meta about the scenes why i think it makes sense that he said it first and why i love it that he did, so i won’t go into that here. but i went in having really no expectations for it other than that it was gonna happen! i was debating about whether it would happen really casually while they’re talking, or in like a big action scene, or really dramatic or what, and what i would prefer, and i came to the conclusion that i would love it no matter what lol, but i was really into the idea of james just. fucking. saying it. while they’re just talking about something really casually. so therefore i was pretty happy with it when we got sort of a mix! they’re talking about teresa’s insane death trap of a plan so there’s that drama of “i don’t want to lose you esp. not before saying ILY” kinda thing, but it’s also just. so simple and sure! and then teresa’s i love you is like the perfect scene for me where one character is super focused on something else (in this case, trying to protect the woman he loves! agh!) and the other is just like.. i love you!!!! SO GOOD

- let’s see, what the hell else happened in this ep?

- oh okay i really liked james and teresa’s vibes this episode, they were so focused on each other and had this very ride-or-die feeling about them like they knew that each of their plans was increasingly stupid and desperate and might not even get them where they wanna go, but they were IN IT TOGETHER no matter what 😭i wish we had gotten a callback to that line but at this point, i’m p. sure they Know they’re in it together, and we do too. so it’s okay. i love that teresa still asks his input and considers his opinions even if she does her own thing anyways haha 

- oh on that note, i LOVED the moment where their plans to kill Kostya aren’t working and Teresa says something like “If I can meet with him in person, I can kill him myself” and James just has this LOOK that just is the epitome of the “I am in love with a women who is DESIGNED TO STRESS ME OUT” meme lol, it made me giggle, v classic QOTS moment 

- oh and of course, I LOVED that scene with devon and james at the end!!!!!!!! i was also confused about how james was showing all his emotions in that scene esp. since he tries to be stoic about his feelings for Teresa around Devon, but now that i’ve read a few people’s thoughts about, it i’m fully on board w the theory that james and teresa already knew this was coming, b/c they’re smart, and b/c james knows devon wouldn’t have let him walk away to save Teresa at the beginning of the season without motivation (like having him in place to kill her when she’s no longer useful to the CIA) and THEREFORE james was sort of “overacting” to make it believable to devon (and the audience lol) that he didn’t know this was coming, didn’t want to do it, but felt like he had to, rather than the fact that they were already plotting a fake death. that makes a lot of sense to me and makes me really love all the layers to that scene. it does give me a little bit of hope that the finale ~teresa’s not really dead~ reveal will be at least a little well executed and not just shoved in at the very end. we shall see though! 

- alright i think that’s what i loved about the episode, if u don’t wanna hear me bitching about the little things then u should probably stop here!! just have to get out some of my saltiness lol 

THINGS I WAS ANNOYED ABOUT

- i’m just gonna get it out of the way, yes, i too was supremely annoyed at the amount of KA and Pote take suburbia; it was all 1000% predictable down to the raccoon and the cookies, and the point could have been accomplished in exactly 1 scene, maybe 2, certainly not like 10 or however many we got. whatever. ugh. 

- okay. OKAY. chicho. we need to talk about chicho. i for one, am not mad that he called pote, my boy was stressed. I AM HOWEVER, mad at the writers for making pote come back after saying he trusted chicho to take care of teresa now. like. it totally devalued THE WHOLE THING!! imo, pote shoulda stayed his ass at home where we had to watch him settle all episode, and chicho should have gotten THE HERO MOMENT HE DESERVED (esp. cuz he’s on first name basis w teresa now??) which ALSO WOULD HAVE MADE THE SCENE WHERE TERESA GIVES CHICHO THE DISTILLERY AND THE BAR SO! MUCH! MORE! MEANINGFUL!!!!! or just made it make sense at all? like .... i’m just so confused by that whole plotline like what was the point? chicho does nothing but call pote and gets T’s whole legacy in NOLA? 

- and don’t even get me started on how it makes ZERO sense that pote would have had to charge in at the last minute to save teresa when JAMES THE SNIPER W AMAZING AIM WHO IS LITERALLY. IN LOVE WITH HER. is standing outside like. ur telling me james and chicho (who again, is supposed to be her #2 after james now) just stood there like “oh hey pote yeah you go ahead we’ll wait here good luck” like WHAT also.. how did pote get past all the guards that made james stay outside? are we meant to believe pote is that sneaky? y’all. it just. doesn’t make sense. this whole plot situation maddens me more than anythings tbh UGH JUST MAKE IT MAKE SENSE 

- oksana’s daughter..... what’s her name again? idk b/c we only MET HER THIS WEEK....okay this amuses me but i’m also annoyed b/c like. there were so many other women who could have taken that spot in the opening sequence... Lil T, Castel, hell even Isabela??? Like idk how they could have done it but they put so much effort into her plot in the first seasons that i really thought she was gonna end up w/ Teresa in the end.. idk that would have been kind cool, Camila’s two “daughters” eventually working their way out of the life together..again idk how they could have realistically done it but i really do wish it had been someone we met before. if it had to be someone new this season, they could have introduced her earlier instead of one of the seemingly dozens of random guys we knew for 1 episode before they died... like.. give her some depth please. is she even gonna be in the finale? honestly she better be after making us listen to pote welcome her into the family... like the family u were supposed to leave so u could have an actual baby pote? the family that’s literally dispersing as we speak? also.. since when did pote love oksana so much anyways? also...... just.. if teresa’s gonna have some sort of daughter figure or whatever she’s supposed to be, wouldn’t it make sense to have her be the one to give the big welcome to the family speech? idk y’all..... i’m amused but also baffled at the sheer lack of planning behind this. did no one realize they needed someone for the opening scene until like. halfway thru the season? did they plan to have it be castel but they couldn’t get her for filming (hence all the weird castel plots?) INQUIRING MINDS WOULD LIKE TO KNOW. it’s whatever tho lol 

- i just hope that what’s-her-name gets a lil bit of plot in the finale esp. since otherwise it might just be pote running around being pissy (i don’t actually think that haha but i am a lil nervous that teresa won’t come back until the last few mins and i’ll have to spend all episode looking at boaz and devon and pote and KA.. i haven’t looked at any spoilers tho so i’m still hopeful! i will probably make a post about my hopes going into the finale a lil later, both realistic and unrealistic :) 

[cherryatiny]

𝐍𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬 - 𝐊.𝐇𝐉

⩥𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐞𝐫!𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠 (𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳) 𝐱 𝐟!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⩥𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐥 𝐀𝐔

⩥𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟐,𝟏𝐤

⩥𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐜𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐲. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧?

⩥𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬, 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐩𝐬, 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩, 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐜𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞-𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐩𝐬

⩥𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: 𝐍𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐃𝐏𝐑 𝐈𝐚𝐧

⩥𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐢 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲. 𝐈'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲, 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

08.09.2021

Opening the door to their shared flat with shaky hands, blood dripping down his knuckled, the blonde male almost collapsed on the floor, his weakened legs failing to support him any more.

With a loud bang, his body fell on the cold floor, alerting his [insert colour]-haired girlfriend, that ran to the hallway, being met with a sight of his bloody figure laying on the floor half-unconscious, she let out a sharp yelp.

The girl fell to the ground, shaking her partner's body, to get any reaction from him. „Ah Hongjoongie, who did you get into a fight with this time...“

Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, to help him lean on her so he could walk more easily, she directed her steps into the bathroom. Sitting him on its edge, she began to fill the bathtub with water, to wash off the blood and dirt of his body. „Y/N... I'm sorry“

Without words, she started unzipping his blood-soaked clothes, letting them fall to the ground, already used to having to deal with her boyfriend coming home almost beat-up to death.

Tears filled her eyes yet again as she thought about all those moments, where she was on the border of losing her lover. The aforementioned boy always just shrugging it off with cheap words of comfort.

And that's how their relationship went. He got into a fight, they argued, he felt guilty and made her a song, they made up, went through another short period of romance where they felt like those head over heels couples at the beginning of their relationship, and the endless cycle repeated itself once again.

Her partner undressed completely and sat in the bathtub, the water gaining a reddish tint from the blood that leaked from his wounds. Without a word, she got into the bathtub with him, not caring that her t-shirt or shorts would get soaked.

Grabbing a sponge that was laying near them, she rubbed the dirt off his body. Hongjoong inhaled, preparing himself to splash Y/N in apologies, but her voice cut him off.

„Please, don't make this harder than it already is, I don't need to hear your apologies, please just stay still until I clean you, so I can treat your wounds afterwards...“ Treating the fair skin of his hurt body, she sighed as she looked at her soaked clothes.

Does living like this even have a meaning? Does crying herself to sleep from how scared she is of losing her loved one when he doesn't even care, have meaning?

Sensing the broken expression in her deep eyes, his hand took her in his, playing with her fingers and kissing the top of her knuckles reassuringly.

„I'm sorry Y/N, I'm sorry for acting like a jerk and making you bawl your eyes out at nights. So many times I could've held on I still can't believe I left you alone. Left you alone to deal with all of this, when it's completely my fault. The fault of my inconsideration of your feelings. When you lie down tonight, please get a good sleep in which you forget of all those fights and stupid things I put you through. We'll start a new chapter, I promise.“

Liar.

These words of reassurance left his mouth every time he got into a fight and yet, it always happened again. Not being able to hold the tears in any longer, the clothed figure sitting next to him let out tears, pitiful whines leaving her lips.

„You say this every time, yet you always break the promise, so how can I believe you any longer?“

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

15.09.2021

Colourful leaves falling on the forest alley, the two jiggly walked down the path hand in hand, as they laughed and enjoyed each other's presence.

Approaching a small wooden bench, the two of them sat down on it, Hongjoong pulled his girlfriend into his lap, letting her back fall onto his chest, hugging her from behind.

The girl raised her legs and laid them on the bench, stretching them. Looking at her boots covered by the brownish mud, letting her head fall onto his shoulder. „Y/N?“ humming, she signalised him to continue with what he had to say.

„I made you a song. I realised how bad I was treating you, but I didn't know how to express my gratitude towards you and I'm sorry, I will sing this song to you. To tell you I really cared.“

His melodic voice audible for everyone passing them as he started singing, all the people just captured by those young lovers. Only if they knew, how heartsick their relationship was.

As his voice quietened, signalising the end of the song he composed for his girlfriend, he pulled her into a deep kiss, his hand holding her head in place, as his tongue explored all those forgotten places of her mouth.

„I hope you're not angry at me anymore.“ Shaking her head in disagreement, Hongjoong pulled the figure of his girlfriend into his embrace, hugging her tightly, to replace the warmness his heart couldn't give her, with his body.

„Let's go home, shall we?“ Taking her hand in his, the two of them got up from the bench, stretching their stiffened limbs for a bit. „Aren't you cold?“ looking at the shaking figure standing beside him, he pulled his brown trench coat off, laying it on his girlfriend's shaking figure.

Walking home hand-in-hand, the two of them lived through yet another episode of the cycle.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

21.09.2021

„You're unbelievable Kim Hongjoong! Oh god, I'm so stupid! I always put my faith in you, believing that your aims are sincere, yet you always disappoint me. You're never gonna change! I should just pack my things and leave, cuz it looks like my presence is annoying you. If it weren't for me, you could live your poor life peacefully, right? Getting into fights on daily basis, fucking whores you find on the streets and flushing it all away with nicotine and alcohol while dreaming of accomplishing something in your life, you would like that, right? You know what? I should do that right away!“

Dramatically spatting those words into his face, she turned on her heel with anger in her eyes ignoring the glasses Hongjoong threw against the wall near her to make her look at him. His hand gripping her wrist harshly, turning her back to face him.

„What the fuck do you think you're doing? You're not going anywhere!“ Disbelief filled Y/N's veins. Who was he to tell her what she can or can't do?

„What do I think I am doing? Leaving you, Kim Hongjoong. I can't express how much I hate you, I feel so stupid for letting you use me, I don't want to have anything to do with you!“

Hongjoong couldn't control his emotions any longer, letting his hand come in contact with his girlfriend's cheek, that will for sure leave a reddish mark on the spot.

Y/N yelped at the stinging pain of her boyfriend's hand slapping her cheek. Her hands caressing the hurt place as tears filled her eyes. Realising what he did, Hongjoong's eyes immediately softened, ready to comfort and apologize to his girlfriend. But it was too late...

„Leave the fuck out of my flat! I never want to see you again, we're done. Did you hear me well? We're done, there's not any us anymore, and I'll never be your girlfriend again Kim Hongjoong, actually..., I hope I never see you again!“

Motioning with her finger to the door, she signalised for him to leave, not wanting to look at him any longer, she left the room and locked herself in the bedroom, falling on the bed and bringing her knees to her face, nuzzling her face into the created space, bawling her eyes out.

Absorbing the said words, Hongjoong finally understood the weight of his actions, this time it was really the end. Smashing the front door loudly enough for the crying woman to hear, he dived into the darkness on the streets.

As he walked down the empty streets, recalling all the things that happened, he couldn't help but start crying himself. Sitting down in the middle of the road, not caring if any car drove him over anymore. Life without his lover was meaningless for him...

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

18.11.2021

Sitting down on the metallic fence near the train station, he pulled the lighter out of his denim jacket, lighting the addictive stick in his shaking hands. Inhaling the relieving substance, he sighed, trying to pour the stress of his mind.

The first weeks after the break up with his past lover Y/N were hard, he lost faith in everything, barely living through, he then met a couple of boys that helped him get back on track. They put a roof over his head and helped him pursue his dream of becoming successful in music, he was truly thankful towards them.

Taking another inhale, he looked around, observing the people that were approaching the train station. Thinking about how all of them were hiding a different story, his eyes fell on an oddly familiar figure.

The figure he thought he would never see again. As the girl turned around, trying to figure out where to go, her eyes fell on him, locking eye contact.

He heard that Y/N was leaving town in a few days, pursuing her happy ending in a new place. A place that didn't wound her as much as this one did. Hongjoong smiled at her, his eyes motioning for her to come over.

With a hesitantly uncomfortable look in her eyes, she approached his figure that was still sitting on the fence, scared as to what might happen. „Y/N, long time no see.“ smiling at him lightly, she looked down rather than to look to those eyes she once loved.

„Hey girl, I heard you seem to be happy now,... how you doin'? I heard you're leaving town,... it might not matter now, but maybe it worked somehow, but I really changed this time. I know you have no intention of coming back to me and I can't blame you for that, but I couldn't live peacefully if I didn't say my sincere apology to you for the last time. I lived horribly before, but I found people who helped me and now I'm living a life that I enjoy. That's what I tell myself: she'll never know how much I wished I never let you go. Thinking of this, it tore me down to pieces.“

Looking at him with glistening eyes, she could hear the sincerity in his words for the first time in a long time.

„Ah yes Joong, you're right, I'm leaving town soon, starting a new life somewhere else. I may seem happy now, but it's not like that all the time, some wounds take time to be healed, but I'm better, how about you? I'm pleased to hear that you decided to change your life and I'm sorry for letting you go without giving you space to explain yourself, but you must understand it had to be done. Our relationship was hatred and it was destined to break sooner or later.“

Nodding in agreement to her aching but truthful words, he took an inhale from his cigarette for the last time, throwing the cigarette stub onto the ground and stepping on it to smoosh it.

„Don't worry 'bout me 'cause I'm doing fine. Although the first weeks afterwards, I came to the street you live in every day, just standing there in front of your flat and looking into the room we once shared. But I'm doing fine, girl, I swear it's not a lie.“

„I saw you a few times, the smoke coming from your cigarettes always reached my window, that's when I immediately knew you were there...so you came around my house, and you left your marks with your fingertips, I was always thinking: I'm sitting where you sat down and now he's looking for something meaningless... I'm getting a little nervous talking to you... it feels like I'm getting to the surface“

Absorbing each other's words, the two of them stood opposite of each other, their heads tilted down, as they regretted their past manoeuvres. He's getting a little nervous and she's finally getting to the surface.

„I got a little nervous of running back to you when you weren't there Y/N.. and I'm sorry, I was hurting too much to know, that you were standing right there. And I'm sorry, when I left you all alone, girl. It's time I should probably let you go and forget about a jerk who hurt you as much as I did. I know that wasn't fair 'cause I loved you. He loved you, the man who you hate sincerely loved you, even though he didn't express it in time...“

„Bye Kim Hongjoong. Stand tall and pursue your dreams.“ Bidding goodbye to her for the last time, he watched as his lover disappeared in the span that was separating them.

[charmspoint]

what i know abt qifrey from u talking abt him uhh ok so he's genuinely just a nice guy but also he's evil and irredeemable but also he's literally just a pleasant gentleman

I know ur not asking for a rant about this but by god ur gonna get it.

So the thing is, I don't think Qifrey is evil or irredeemable at all. We joke around the fandom (at least i hope its mostly jokes) that he's evil and crazy but he's really not. If id have to pin Qifrey on a morality spectrum I'd say morally gray but leaning towards the good.

Did Qifrey do some messed up stuff? Yes, fo sure. But I've always gotten more of an impression that he's teetering towards the edge and not completely over it. He does do damage but so far he's mostly made sure that damage was extremely localized and not actually harming other people (I talked about before how Qifrey's own memory erasing spell seems weirdly specialized compared to what we were brought to believe memory erasing spell actually does when used by anyone else).

But now comes the question

Do I think Qifrey will get worse?

Yes, 100% I believe this is where we are going towards, I said before that I'm p convinced he will become some kind of obstacle for Coco down the line.

Qifrey is going through a LOT rn. He's already got ptsd from, you know being stripped of his identity, buried alive, almost drowned and then remembering he was experimented on like a lab rat, but now it's getting worse. Before he could at least relay on the fact that even though his past was horrible, his future was bright. He genuinely loves his job, he loves his girls, he loves teaching. This monolog gets me every single time

Now he's losing his future, he's losing not only his eye, but the whole identity he built out of nothing, he's losing his teaching position, he's losing his kids, he's losing Everything he gained after he had already lost Everything.

It leaves him rushing against an uncertain time limit, desperate, stumbling, sloppy. I don't think he's thinking straight anymore, not really. I think he's convinced he is being methodical and calculating but in actuality he's stumbling forward, grasping at straws, unable to hold on to anything but his need for revenge and the empty words that his actions aren't only for his own sake.

It's all very striking, in his relationship with Olruggio in particular. Olruggio is very clearly supposed to be the guiding light for Qifrey, the one who pulls him back when he goes too far, the one who helps him resist the growing darkness. It's very meaningful how as Qifrey continues on his path he makes sure Olruggio doesn't even know about it. He said it himself, if Olruggio knew, he'd try to save him. He'd try to bring Olruggio to light again and Qifrey doesn't WANT to be saved, he has decided on a road he wants to take and he won't allow anyone to change his course. Not even Olruggio.

So do I think Qifrey is evil?

No

Do I think he'll get worse?

Yes

Do I think he'll become evil?

Not really

See here's the thing. Qifrey's desperation, how quickly he's trying to work through this, how determined he is to throw everything else under the bus if he could just achieve his goals? All of that is dictated by the fact he's running out of time, the fact that once he loses his eyesight he can no longer be a witch. Eyesight is VERY important to witches since magic is a very visual art. We've seen with Tartar how something as seemingly miniscule as color blindness can basically doom someone, causing everyone around them to say they can't become a witch without good eyesight. So complete blindness is a death sentence to a witches career. Now, it's funny how a lot of the Coustas and Tartars arc has to do with adjusting the world to disability and not the person to the world. How it's made pointed, over and over again, that people with disabilities shouldn't be written off but given proper tools that will help them function, how the world should adjust to be a more comfortable place for all kinds of people and not just those who are already adjusted to it. Without the threat of his eyesight going out and cutting his whole identity into bits, Qifrey wouldn't have to act like this, he would be able to sit and think and not rush and if he still wants to pursue brimhats he could do it more safely for himself and everyone else because the desperation factor would be gone.

So what I think is going to happen is that Qifrey will lose his eyesight but won't lose his standing as a witch because he, Olruggio and the kids will figure out how to make magic accessible to him.

Now there's of course a bunch more unaccounted for variables which I'll probably have a better grasp on after the current arc is done being translated. Ininia and Lord Restis represent a very interesting development because they are brimhats introduced specifically via healing injuries. The rule of 'medicine magic isn't allowed cuz it's a slippery slope' has been there since the beginning of the series and a big thorn in the 'yeah the witch world rules are good and fair' side cuz of course, everyone thinks healing people should be allowed. Now the brimhats we've had so far were fully ready to attack and experiment on children's bodies in order to further their own goals so of course that immediately leaves you disliking them and not putting much account into their rhetoric even though it does make sense at times, but ur not gonna listen to ppl experimenting on kids. That's why I think Ininia and Lord Restis are interesting, cuz if they aren't literally attacking children they might get a good case in about medicine magic being allowed. I think we are going towards at least some sort of medicine magic becoming acceptable considering Tartar's arc. But then the question is, if some sort of medicine magic is approved, will it be used to heal disabilities cuz like...that would kinda suck. I would much rather have a 'world should be adjusted so disabled people can participate in it equally' narrative rather than the 'just heal the disability with magic lol' narrative. But honestly this whole paragraph is pure speculation because the arc isn't fully translated or even fully out yet but I sure af am LOOKING at it. I think it will be v important in understanding where the story is going to go. I just hope Shirahama does a good job with it, but honestly she never once let me down up until now so I'm feelin positive.

Circling back to Qifrey, I do think he's one of the kindest, most understanding, most lovable characters I've had a joy of reading and studying. But he does have a black hole in him that is pulling apart all that kindness, leaving him a shattering shell. I don't think he's evil, I don't think he'll ever become truly evil and despite what he's done I don't think any of what he did is irredeemable, especially with how careful he tends to be not to take away from people more than he has to to further his own goals. But I do think that hole will eat at him more and more and that before he can get better somebody will have to notice it and help him plug it up. Olruggio noticed and Qifrey refused the help, convinced that he can't be helped, not in the way he needs. He will need proof that he can keep his future before he can ease up on the frantic hunt after his past

[starcookiechu]

ROTT Review

SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE. You have been warned.

FYI: I just finished the movie. So my opinions may change a bit but here I am writing a full review.

Before I talk about the movie, I have to say this movie has fantastic animation. The music is as good as usual.

Ok now the story. Let’s start with the our Trollhunters.

Fair Lady Claire. My girlie Claire really brought her all into this. I’m really proud of the young woman she has grown up into. However for the sake of the plot and story they make her run out of magic juice quite a bit. But my girl is still the best and gives it her all.

Wingman Domzalski. I will be perfectly honest. Toby is kind of the annoying best friend at times and bothers me as a plus size person. (They really push the over eating thing to the point that it’s his biggest factor.) Toby is a very eager kid who is ready to get in the action. Never being negative to his friend but the best emotional support who will always be at his side. Sure Toby was used a bit as comedic relief in the movie but when push comes to shove, Toby will always be there to do the right thing.

Blinky is amazing as always. One of the best father figures out there.

Aarrrgh was there. Was great for the scenes he was in, but all together didn’t do much that altered the story.

Our Trollhunter, Jim Lake Jr. Someone I admire and basically see as my little brother/child. Kiddo really did it. I know everyone is upset that Jim’s arc was redone when we had the “Unbecoming” episode. If I could come to a peaceful middle ground, I saw we all need to blame Merlin. He really rocked Jim’s world and self worth. When the creator of the object you need to save the world with tells you “You’re not enough”, it really can be a great setback. But once we past that, Jim really pulled through. Amulet or not, he is our Trollhunter.

Mommy Dr. Lake was there. Barbara was mostly there for our emotions.

Dilf Strickler. I felt that he was changed a bit since we last saw him, but he had a new purpose. He was more cautious and happy because he had a chance at a happy life with Barbara. Which makes what happens to him more upsetting. 

Nomura my sweet. This movie did not deserve you. At least she was with Draal.

And Not-Enrique (seriously why didn’t they ever give him an actual name) just wasn’t in the movie.

How about some CreepSlayers?

BABY ELI PEPPERJACK CAME BACK LOOKING SO CUTE. So proud.

Bumbling knight oaf Steve the Palchuckian was great as usual.

I will say though. The whole pregnancy plot was just a way to get Eli and Steve out of the way. I could feel that the writers maybe didn’t like Steve so much since Wizards. But Steve was once again someone to laugh at. Pregnant and out of the way.

How about some Akiridions?

Aja my darling girl, oh how you’ve grown. I understand some think she has changed. However I must say that her preparing a plan B on the side was smart. She isn’t just a princess on earth anymore. She is a queen on a distant planet. So if she thought evacuation was best, it would ensure that everyone would live. And avoid losing more valuable people from her life. So no, I can’t blame her.

DJ Kleb was there. He was kinda doin his own thing and messing with Steve. Brother-in-law stuff.

It was good to see Varvatos Vex.

Stu was the man in the background working on the busy important things like working on the amulet. Personally I feel like the series REALLY underutilizes Stu A LOT so I was so happy to see him being a part of something huge.

And finally some Wizards.

Douxie my love, you were amazing as usual. His powers have grown greatly and have contributed to the adventure. But god the writers really do love to take everything away from him don’t they. It’s unfair.

Archie was kinda just there and just... I understand leaving Douxie but that doesn’t mean I like it.

Nari the sweetest. I can only imagine the guilt she felt to end Nomura. Her self sacrifice was probably the one in the movie most called for.

Alright now I’ll talk about the movie.

I can whole heartedly say this movie was rushed. To be honest I feel like the original writers weren’t completely in this. At least it felt kind of not so much Trollhunters or 3Below vibes but more Wizards, if that makes sense whatsoever. Something is off.

I just want to blame Merlin for everything. To hell with that guy.

The beginning sequence was great. A car chase to a moving train. Which ends up with Toby of course screwing up and breaking the brakes. Of course. The train falling off the tracks which ultimately ends up with Nari gone. Oh yeah, and video recordings of Magic, trolls and being taken in by the police. Great.

WHY TF WAS TOBY TELLING THEIR STORY TO THE POLICE. YOU DON’T MIX THE POLICE IN STORIES UNLESS YOU KNOW THE COP PERSONALLY. CUZ IT’S A MESS AND THE POLICE GET IN THE WAY. GDI TOBY.

Our heroes go back to base on the new and improved Camelot. Where we discover that Barbara and Strickler are now engaged. Happy news and would secure that Jim has another Father figure in his life and his mother’s happiness. Which explains Strickler’s “stay behind” advice. Now he has a family to watch over. He must be careful and warns that Jim’s actions could cost so much that he might not be able to afford.

Enters our Majesty Aja and the new stud on the block, Eli. Dang I wish puberty hit me like that.Truck-kun strikes again. And also enters... the pregnancy thing. I will say, I didn’t mind it too much... at first. But there are complications. Steve is too young to be a father and dang 7 kisses?? I can’t help but feel like Aja should have mentioned that or it was a last minute plan to write out Steve and Eli. (Which it was.) It was funny sure cuz omegaverse and ALIENS but all together it’s really iffy.

They really had Douxie preform a body-swap spell only so it would be undone. And undoing the spell only hurt them both?? C’mon. C’mon.

And they mention the Krohnisfere. We’ll get back to it. Jim gets a brand new amulet infused with Akaridion tech. However theres an issue. It was created by Merlin right? Who is a wizard right? Who uses MAGIC. Shame Douxie wasn’t there to help make it. Ya know. 1/2 of the original creator of the AMULET. So it’s missing a huge part and for the sake of the plot, Jim doesn’t test the Amulet which is out of character personally.

Toby makes a silly big deal over a penny. I was actually hoping they would make it a silly Chekhov's gun later on. But no, it’s just Toby being loud and comedic relief.

The titans are released and we visit a very pregnant Steve. Ok so it’s a rushed kind of thing. ok.

Aja suggests evacuation. You can say it’s out of character but we need context. When Aja helped in the Doomsday Battle, she was ensured a way out but if she let the people of Arcadia perish. She decided to stay and help. But now the Trollhunter himself can’t help. So to ensure the survival of everyone, evacuation. A best chance for everyone to survive. Plus she is now a Queen. She rules over a whole planet which must change her thinking.

Now our characters are split into 3 teams:

Blinky, Archie, Archie’s dad and Claire for the Krohnisfere.

Jim, Aja, Toby, Strickler and Barbara for the Glacial Titan.

Nomura, Douxie and Aarrgh for the Earth Titan.

Now here is where I have problems. WHY. DID. THEY. SEND. TROLLS. TO. BRAZIL. IN. THE. DAY. Nomura dying was just so out of pocket. Unnecessary. I couldn’t even grieve properly I didn’t have a chance to process. The best thought I could think was “At least she’s with Draal now.” 10 seconds later, Strickler makes the choice to sacrifice himself. Because of Jim’s heroic’s, Strickler decided to try to save the most important people in his life. The person who was always dishonest finally had a chance to live a happy life with his family. The one who played it safe now had to make the final impulsive move. And unfortunately, his death was in vain. These deaths were just so forced. It wasn’t in any way good. And Strickler being one of the best written characters just going in such a way was just off. He died for nothing. He could have turned back and fought another battle but... no.

(BTW Barbara was just there... for Strickler’s death.)

We move to Babara and Jim having a heart to heart. I’m glad she didn’t blame Jim but a small moment of anger. Something a little more real for me but no I guess. Barbara will always just be Jim’s mom. She mention’s Jim’s father and it passed so quickly I missed it on my initial viewing. I’m happy that Jim’s father is never revealed or made a bigger part in his story. This is good representation for those of us who did have our fathers walk out on us. That we can grow despite our parents failing us.

And finally team Krohnisfere. Archie just leaves. He’s gone. Poor Douxie. A mentor and now his closest companion.

Our heroes meet up to go against the Volcanic Titan. In comes Varvatos Vex on a Gun Robot. Nice to see some good ol Gundam with a character mentioned throughout the entire trilogy. However it doesn’t last. BTW for the sake of survival, Aja leaves Jim and Toby. Iffy.

Douxie pulls a “Jason stop. This isn’t you.” thing with Nari and is reunited with his friend.(+ points for the shippers. It’s kinda winning me over?) Also, Claire now has the power to teleport a Titan. I know she’s much stronger than she was for the Trollhunters Sn 2 finale, but cmon. You can’t just say she’s out of magic juice and then pull this. C’mon.

(btw did the titan make a War of the Worlds tripod sound? No? Just me?)

Nari sacrifices herself and takes the other god with her. Which takes away Douxie’s other companion. Mr. Stark I don’t feel so good. Why does this movie hate Douxie so much. (I am so sorry shippers. Angst.)

BLINKY DIDN’T SEE A PAGE? ADDRESSING IT IN THE SHOW DOESN’T GIVE YOU A PASS. I forgot the word but this irony isn’t greatttt.

Jim now has to pull out the legendary sword Excalibur. But he can’t cuz he hasn’t harnessed the power of friendship.

And Steve is giving birth. At the worst time. What is this a zombie movie??? C’mon.

Jim says “Magic is friendship” And Stu is finally being used for one grand act. Seriously Stu is just so unappreciated. So he fixes the amulet with magic.

Basically everyone who went on top of the Volcanic titan falls off at some point. Except Jim cuz of course some 1v1. 

ONCE AGAIN Claire is out of magic juice. Because... reasons.

Toby makes the choice to race to Jim’s side with the technology to cancel out magic. (Wait how does science stop magic again)

BTW, For the Good of all doesn’t hit as well BUT it’s not mentioning any glory towards stinky Merlin so I am happy with the change.

JIM HAS A NEW TRANSFORMATION. MY BOY. MY SON. I’M SO PROUD.

Toby races to Jim and his helmet falls off the taco truck. That honestly should have been a huge warning sign. I was worried he didn’t have armor but we know how this goes.

Jim defeats the final titan and everyone is happy. The fight is finally over.

STEVE HAS 7 KIDS. OUCH. 

Seeing Jim run to Toby was heartbreaking. Now this is the one scene where the movie really let out actually process a character’s death. How on earth can you process your best friend, your most faithful companion dying. Jim goes through too much I swear to god.

Now let’s discuss the time travel plot. I honestly feel like they pulled some kind of Attack on Titan ending. The main character burdened with knowing the future and what could have been. And if everything is meant to be how it will be, destiny will reconnect them again. (Jlaire reincarnation AU???)

I’m actually ok with this ending. I understand people would want the time stone to return only a few minutes. But even then, the kiddos still have police records, so many people dead at the titan’s hands (or feet) and now the world knows about the existence of trolls thanks to the internet. In New York no less. And people are still dead.

We return the the beginning of everything, reflecting the “Unbecoming” episode.

(NGL I’m bothered that they didn’t do anything to stop Steve from bullying Eli, but Jim can’t do it. He’s saving it for Toby.)

And now finally, let’s discuss Toby becoming the Trollhunter. From the beginning, Toby never considered himself good enough to be the main star. Always the wingman, the 2nd best. Support. Now it was Toby’s turn to climb the ranks and be the Hero he’s always wanted to be. It’s Jim’s turn to live an easier high school life. I don’t doubt that he won’t follow Toby. But now he knows what to avoid and how to make the story process more smoothly.

I understand some are unsatisfied with this ending, which is kinda trademarked with Dreamwork’s shows. I get it. But honestly as of right now, I think I like the ending.

The amulet didn’t choose Jim because this Jim is not the same Jim as in Sn 1 Ep 1. He is a new man. And I think we all can agree that it’s his turn to be happy.

---

I still love this series so much. It is my favorite cartoon. Of course it has it’s flaws, but this ending is at least satisfactory and not heartbreaking. Now it’s up to us to either continue the story or contribute our ideas in fanfiction. I look forward to everyone’s creations.

Don’t think. Become.

[pfreadsandwrites]

I would love to request smth for your 100 follower celebration 🥰 It’s so hard to decide which prompt to choose but since I’m a sucker for some good ol‘ fluff: 77: “ Are you jealous? ” and 54: “ I can’t stand the thought of loosing you. ”. I don’t know if two prompts make it easier or harder to write smth, I hope this is ok 😅

100 follower celebration

Yet again, I am super sorry for the delay in this. Just, the weird cold i’ve had the past few days, the last one I did hardly being read, creativity, writer’s block, etc but I really hope you enjoy this @praisingkuroosbedhead !! Thank you so much for the support you’ve shown me up until now and i just realised your icon is Bisuke... I love... Also yeah i struggled a little a lot, just because I don’t think Kakashi would show his jealousy in a very obvious way, the second prompt would usually come after something kinda serious like an argument, so Kakashi having a moment of actually showing anger in his jealousy (which is what would realistically lead into the second prompt)... So i had like 3 or 4 different outlines that were way too complicated so i found this very difficult. It was nothing to do with your request though, my brain is just... empty... . I still don’t know if this one’s any good though, think i thought about it too much which made for worse writing but i still hope you enjoy! 

warnings: jealousy (duh), slight arguments, and resolution, fluff, reader being a dumbdumb, Kakashi being a dumbdumb too i guess but he’s mostly just grumpy this time, not proofread cuz my brain has gone on strike, 2.5k

taglist: @madaras-housewife @datblobbyfish @praisingkuroosbedhead @allthingskakashi @enchantedpendant @ibukiirisha @cinam00n @feelingsandemotionsnotexplored @tachibrii @drunkenfists

sidenote: if anyone on my taglist could confirm they got the notification for this that would be interesting to know, but then it’s not like i can do anything about it lol.it would be cool if this showed in tumblr’s tags but i’m not holding out much hope. 

77. “Are you jealous?” / 54. “I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”

It’d only lasted a second, but you could have sworn you’d seen it.

No. Though you had no proof before you, you knew you’d seen it. You saw his fist clench - just for a moment - then his strong fingers uncurled, as if regaining composure. His eyebrows knitted to a point, furrowing nicely in that way you always found so attractive, but even that was quickly replaced with that familiar, relaxed gaze you were also charmed by. Even if you were a little disappointed to see it so soon.

But when you looked again, Kakashi had disappeared from the spot he’d occupied most of the night - leaning back with one foot against the wall, arms crossed as he pretended to read that stupid book of his.

Could he have straight up teleported out of there, sick of this party, your shenanigans or both? You had to admit, you didn’t put it past him. But before you had the opportunity to explore your suspicions, a louder, less familiar voice reclaimed your thoughts.

So, reluctantly, you shifted your attention back to the drink you’d been working on and the man in front of you. You hadn’t led him on - unless repeatedly mentioning your complete lack of availability fell under that category - but Kakashi didn’t know that. And though his apparent inability to take a hint was beginning to grate on you, you had to admit that it served nicely for something else. Nothing noble - namely, eliciting a damn reaction out of your frustratingly stoic boyfriend - but it seemed effective nonetheless.

Not that it had stopped the pang of guilt creeping up from the pit of your stomach to your pounding chest. Though you were willing to deny your principles, even if only slightly, you really hadn’t meant to upset him.

But you were no fool, either.

You knew exactly what you were doing tonight.

You knew why you had come out, why you had chosen this dress, and why you had asked that Kakashi come along tonight.

At first, he had refused dismissively. Like he tended to do these days. But when he saw that you were set on going, with or without him, dressed like that - he suddenly decided that he ���would tag along for a bit if you absolutely insisted’. You had smirked, amused at how he feigned like you were forcing him, but didn’t challenge him. 

You knew just how immature you were being. You were sure Kakashi did too, but it was very nice of him to let himself be swayed despite that, just this once.

But it was the best you could do, considering the circumstances. Every date he had to cancel, every night he came back after you went to bed and every morning he was gone before you woke up - you were at your limit.

You were willing to get his attention in any way you could.

The fact that he was currently out of sight was a mild dampener on your plan, but no matter - surely it was a sign that you’d succeeded, albeit a small one.

It was big enough for you to decide to find him, anyway. Maybe, if you were lucky, you’d even manage to actually talk to him about everything bothering you. Imagine that, an honest-to-God conversation! You didn’t think you were being too optimistic.

You made to slip away from the stranger attempting to retain monopoly on your attention as politely as possible. Unfortunately, his alcohol-fuelled indignation appeared to have got the best of him, and he grabbed your wrist, holding you firmly in place. You tensed, but your pleasant smile barely had the chance to transform before you felt another hand on you. On your shoulder, this time, but it was familiar.

“Hey Y/N.”

Kakashi’s nonchalant voice alone quelled that surge of anger and fear that had been bubbling beneath you. When you looked up at him, your shoulders relaxed involuntarily. Not that you had needed him exactly. You could handle an overzealous drunk at the very least, but he had that knack for allowing you to just breathe. “Hi.”

Your nuisance’s confidence dissipated just as quickly as it gathered. Evidently, he hadn’t expected to encounter the Kakashi Hatake tonight, especially not alongside you of all people. Kakashi hadn’t sounded threatening, not obviously anyway, but he didn’t need to. His reputation preceded him, and he counted on that fact - and sure enough, the other man let go of you immediately.

“Is there a problem here?” Kakashi wondered. Only the gruff tone at the end of his question belied his (potentially) aggressive implications, but it was all he needed.

“No! No problem at all!,” the other man assured, and moved back, suddenly very careful to observe his distance.

It was amusing to see the change yourself, the intimidating effect Kakashi had on others without even trying. If you didn’t know him better, you’d have felt too scared to try and mess with him in the first place.

“Glad to hear it! Now, if you’ll excuse us…,” his voice trailed off. He didn’t bother explaining himself further, or giving you time to argue, before pulling you away and through the crowd of people.

You almost stumbled, struggling to keep up with him in your heels. As much as you were happy to get the alone time you wanted, his hasty actions unnerved you a little. You noticed that his eyes were narrowed, the furrowed brow from before back with a vengeance. Was he actually angry? “Kakashi, wait! where are we -”

“Let’s just get some air.”

You couldn’t deny that sounded nice, and the peace and quiet on the rooftop was a welcome change from the raucous energy of the party beneath it. But Kakashi didn’t say anything else. He only adopted a similar position to the one he’d had inside, leaning against the roof door with his arms folded and eyes closed.

The air was suddenly… dense. This was uncomfortable. You sighed, and he peered an eye open to look at you. Still saying nothing, but at least it was acknowledgement. Taking your cue to approach him, you attempted to make sense of your current situation.

“Are you jealous?”

You asked it before you knew what you were saying. In hindsight, it was a stupid question. You knew that. Even if there were any inkling of truth behind it (and you suspected there was), Kakashi would vehemently deny it. No. He was above that - obviously. He wouldn’t allow himself to be manipulated by your obvious behaviour, by an an emotion as petty and irrational as mere jealousy.

Even as his actions belied his words, as they so typically did, as he had placed that large hand on your shoulder and led you away from your latest admirer, in that powerful but completely lackadaisical way that only he was capable of. Never realising how imposing he could be until you were up close, but never betraying that control either. God forbid he ever show that you were capable of bothering him.

When you glanced back at him, though, Kakashi was frowning again. His mask wasn’t the amazing obstacle he thought it was; you’d become quite adept at reading his expression through his eyes alone where others couldn’t.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said flatly. The subtle growl that accompanied his final syllable contrasted with the joviality your question, and it caught you off-guard. You had been cheerful enough, even teasing, but his stern glare and suddenly intimidating stature (he was so good at hiding it) cut through the levity you’d tried to bring to the situation. Suddenly, you were confronted with every implication of your actions tonight.

But you could only think of one acceptable way to shroud your nascent insecurity. Indignation and   feigned confidence. “Why is it ridiculous?! Why did you pull me away like that if you weren’t?”

“Well, it seemed like he wasn’t getting it,” Kakashi shrugged. “Did I interrupt something?”

“No! But I could have handled it,” you sighed, but you didn’t have much faith in your words. You were sure you could have, probably, but you both knew you didn’t exactly hate the idea of him - specifically him - helping you like that. Even if you didn’t always like to admit it.

He hummed, amused, and you felt like he might have been smirking under his stupid mask. “Well, that’s probably true. But you were too busy playing games to notice what was going on.”

“I wasn’t playing games,” you hissed. Yet again, your words felt empty. But you hated being so transparent.

“If you say so. Care to enlighten me on what you were doing then?”

That scar that cut through his left eye, that was so engraved into his skin did an excellent job at cutting through your defences too. He was so good at seeing through you, you were surprised at the prospect of having to explain yourself. You had the inkling he just wanted you to admit it, the asshole, regardless of what it would do to your dignity. “Well, I-I don’t know.”

Kakashi folded his arms, as unimpressed by your response as you were taken aback.  “Well, by all means, go back to him and figure it out.”

That was it. How willing he was to dismiss you, again. His tone sparked your own anger, and you were suddenly hit with the frustration of not just tonight, but of everything up until now.

“Why are you being such a jerk about it? Don’t you understand that tonight is the most emotion I’ve had out of you in weeks? I’ve tried so hard to be patient, and now I’m trying to be more obvious, and maybe this wasn’t the best way of handling it, but you don’t make it easy! You barely pay attention, then you act as if another man paying attention is meaningless, and then - Don’t you understand that I just miss you, but you don’t…,” your voice trailed off, and that dumbfounded wide-eyed stare Kakashi was giving you was the final straw. You were overwhelmed. You were exhausted. You were annoyed. How could he have the gall to look shocked while you bore your (admittedly, slightly nonsensical) soul to him? Your breath eventually caught up with your words, and the embarrassment at your rare tears and even rarer outburst lagged behind. You turned away.  

“Y/N, I didn’t mean to - I just. Hey. Don’t cry.” It was Kakashi’s turn to stumble over his words. His breath hitched. “I miss you too. I’m sorry.”

You didn’t say anything, though you couldn’t exactly grant his request. How were you supposed to stop crying, when this was the first time he’d shown any regret, any realisation, over your feelings tonight? Had he honestly no idea? On second thought, you didn’t doubt that after all. The concern in his voice was genuine, and you knew he was even worse at working through his feelings than you were.

“I can’t stand the thought of losing you,” Kakashi whispered, just loud enough for you to hear. You turned back, something in that gravelly timbre of his voice pulling at your heartstrings. When you met his sincere gaze, he quickly closed the gap between you. When his thumbs moved to still your tears, your hands travelled to meet his. This was the closest you’d been in weeks. 

“You have a funny way of showing that,” you admitted with a sniff. 

He hesitated. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t figure out how to fix it. So with work, I let myself get distracted. I didn’t know what to do about… any of it”

His words and intent eyes render you touched, but ultimately, confused. You struggled to assuage both you and himself. “You’re the one that pulled away. Don’t you get that I don’t like the thought of losing you either? But at least I was doing something about it.”

“You think that was doing something about it?” His tone was a little too accusatory, and he knew it, relenting with a sigh before you had a chance to argue your case again. “Right. You were. It wasn’t very effective, or sensible - I know, I know - but it was more than what I was doing.”

You remained silent, ruminating on his words. It was nice to hear, affirming to have some admission that you weren’t the only one, that you were justified in your feelings. But you knew you weren’t guiltless either.  “But I’m sorry. It was stupid to make you jealous. I should have just talked to you.”

“Yes, it was, and yes, you should have,” he agreed, a little too readily. You rolled your eyes, but he leant in close, as if in response, completely aware of the fact that he made your cheeks flare up. He leant down, lips dangerously close to your ear now, and went on in that huskier whisper that sent a shiver up your spine. “But it did work. It drove me crazy.  Seeing them all look at you like that. Seeing him look at you like that. Watching him trying to get close to you. When he tried to touch you. ”

Wait? Did Kakashi just say it worked? Did you finally get him to admit that he was jealous? You allowed yourself an internal cheer of triumph. “I knew it!”  An external one, too.

Never one to let you revel in your victories, least of all the petty ones, Kakashi stood up straight and went on. “Anyway. I’m sorry for being as distant as I was. I’m the one who put you in that position. I suppose I should have just talked to you too.”

“You suppose?”

Kakashi chuckled, tugging his mask down. You saw a glimpse of that genuine, handsome, smile - and you realised how long it’s been since you’ve really seen it. You were still pondering it when he kissed you. It was soft, sweet, apologetic - but much too short, and he was pulling his mask up before you could protest. “It’s nice to be gracious, Y/N. You were right. For the most part. Can’t we leave it at that?”

You gave an obnoxious sigh before grinning at him. “I suppose.”

“Thank you. Now, can we please go home already?”

You giggled, forgetting your self-consciousness for the moment, and placed a kiss on the masked part of his cheek. “Sure. Hey, make me a promise, though?”

He looked at you expectantly, even a bit apprehensive.

You reached up, your lips just as dangerously close to the shell of his ear as his had been to yours, and whispered. “Do you promise to make up for the distance, if I promise to make up for driving you crazy?”

Kakashi didn’t say anything, but you got the feeling that he didn’t have a problem with your terms. Something in the way he led you out, just as he had led you away from that nuisance. Something in the way he’d picked you up and carried you to bed that night, and in the way he held you close afterwards, his grip unrelenting. Something in that smile that you had missed so much, that was only for you.

It only lasted for a second, but you could have sworn you’d seen it.

[thejolteonmastertjspoilers]

The Monoma Meta Nobody Asked For

I don’t remember who it was on Reddit that said it makes sense for Monoma to be one of the most empathetic characters in BNHA cuz of his Quirk, (his quirk allows him to walk in the shoes of other people in ways most will never be able to even if for 5 minutes at a time), but let’s talk about it for a minute.

Monoma is a character full of contradictions but there’s a method to the madness. 

Let’s take a real deep look at the manga shall we?

It’s pretty much canon that Monoma trash talks 1-A so much in-part b/c he cares that much... too much... about his own classmates.  It’s implicitly obvious based on the way he interacts with his classmates and phrases his rants at class 1-A. 

The fact that he’s obviously influenced by Vlad is just the cherry on top. 

He’s prideful of not just himself but also his friends.  Let’s break down the nuances there.

Ch196 above, Ch207 below.

Empathy

The kid has a way with words. 

The kid has a weirdly poetic way with words.

He goes out of his way to encourage or reassure his classmates in a deeply thoughtful manner at every given opportunity.

He hyped up Setsuna Tokage before her battle with Bakugo and we saw him grin in pride when Komori took down Tokoyami. 

Whenever Monoma does criticize his classmates, it’s always frank, honest, but constructive, with the intention to help them improve.  He’s even contrasted with his own teacher for being relatively more kind in the delivery of his criticism (see the next screenshot).  Given that Monoma’s shown to be strongly influenced by Vlad, this particular difference stands out.

You never see an anime/manga character get fancifully philosophical & genuinely helpful like this unless they are an adult, usually the MC’s mentor.  Monoma’s legit acting more like an anime mentor than any of Deku’s multiple mentors.  lmfaooo.

Realistically speaking, all of this, the philosophical speeches & level-headed advice, takes an incredible amount of emotional & mental labor.  The kid’s practically doing half of Vlad’s job for him.

It’s during the joint training arc we begin to see why his classmates put up with him and are on friendly terms despite how obnoxious & cheesy he can be & how often they need to keep him in check.

It’s clear even as far back as the sports festival that his classmates don’t actually hate him, despite the smacks & tough love they also just shake their heads with a smile on their face as they say “sorry about him,” cuz that’s just the way he is.  They love him anyways.

He’s an annoying little sh*t but he’s their annoying little sh*t.  Perhaps they even realize why he acts the way he does towards class 1-A, it’s because he cares too much.

Sketch translated by @aitaikimochi​

Putting Up An Act

I think there’s actually even more to it when it comes to his rowdy & brash behaviors. 

Monoma is empathetic because of how his Quirk works.  He needs to learn to use the Quirks of others in order to become a hero.  In doing so he logically needs to become privy to all the Quirk’s weaknesses, not just their strengths.  Not only does he need to become privy to these often deeply personal details of one’s lived life, he needs to experience them, even if for just five minutes at a time.  It’s natural, even necessary, for Monoma to become exceptionally close to his classmates.

But he’s only like that because of how his Quirk works.  It’s his naturally nurtured self.  His conscious self, though, is notably different.

What we see when Monoma says he and Shinsou need to do unheroic things to get by is not his naturally nurtured self, but is a conscious decision.

At some point in his life, Monoma came to the conclusion that being too kindhearted all the time will be weakness.  This is clearly implied, almost outright stated when we heard Monoma’s thoughts when faced with Deku’s Black Whip, “All of the hopes and dreams in my mind from when I was younger are gradually becoming these heavy burdens... like some sort of curse.”  I am 99.999% sure it’s Monoma’s thoughts being shown there because the speech pattern & context don’t match up to Shinsou or Midoriya at all.

Basically, Monoma is a little sh*t because he saw his own empathy as a weakness, and overcompensates for it.  He’s trained himself to be brash & mischievous, likely from a very young age given how consistently brash he is.  We can see a little bit of this when interacting with his class-B classmates as well.

It was @thyandrawrites​ who first noticed this in this post, but here we see Monoma scolding Kendou after losing the beauty contest, giving perhaps too much tough love & TetsuTetsu steps in to Kendou’s defense.

Given how Monoma during the Joint Training arc clearly said everything he did to motivate his friends to do better, this is likely not an isolated occurrence.  The dude cares way too goddamn much for anyone’s good.

Yet there’s something else up with the guy too, something else that contributes even more to his unhealthy obsession with the rivalry vs class-A.  The dude has some serious self-esteem issues but is too prideful to seek real help.

Self-doubt

The fact that he’s the only member of class-B who failed the midterm despite having an intelligence stat of 5/5 speaks for itself.

Him failing the academic exam would be a sign of serious issues going on under the surface in itself, him failing the practical means he probably failed b/c he couldn’t hold his own and his teammate had to pick up the slack.

Him failing b/c he held back his teammate would have hit very close to home since we now know he was told “You can’t be a hero if you can’t do anything yourself” since he was a kid.

Basically, yet another reason he continues to antagonize class-A is a textbook example of someone pushing their insecurities onto someone or something else.

For something often played off as comedic relief there’s a lot of layers as to why Monoma does what he does.

But wait, there’s f*cking more.  There’s actually a particular reason Monoma expresses his insecurities in this unhealthy manner, and that reason ties into what I’ve already begun to address about his empathy.

Another Act

I don’t think it’s accident that the first time we see him have a real heart-to-heart with someone is when he’s attempting to do it for the sake of someone else.  Even if it is in a clumsy manner that ends up annoying Shinsou, it’s the intent I’m interested in here.

We almost never see Monoma receive or accept praise or reassurance, he’s always the one giving it.  He always makes it a point to put himself in the position where he’s being the emotionally strong one. 

He got over class 1-A securing their victory exceptionally fast, ready to put on a strong face for Tokage and the rest of his class.

The few times we do see him genuinely depressed, he’s distancing himself from others.  

He’s afraid of holding others back not just as a hero, but emotionally as well.  His instinct to be emotionally strong for the people he cares about stems not just from his strong empathy and caring nature nature itself, but also from his pride, insecurities and conscious decision to do everything he can do.

This is why he’s too prideful to seek or accept real emotional help & ends up venting his emotions in unhealthy & destructive ways.

His many depictions as an actor of sorts was intentional.  He juggles many acts, he puts on an act of emotional strength for his classmates, and he puts on an act of cruelty to get by as a hero.  To antagonize people in an attempt to throw them off their game.  Sometimes... oftentimes even, he misapplies these charades & gets carried away.  Oftentimes he fails entirely, he’s trying to do some hella complex things for a kid.

Finally, His Pride

Let’s not kid ourselves here, the dude has a major superiority/inferiority complex.  He fails to see how needlessly cruel he’s being when saying class-A asked to be attacked by villains etc.

I’m willing to bet he’ll be in a phase denial for a while now that Class-B and Class-A have gotten more openly friendly in recent chapters.  But because he cares so much about his classmates he’ll likely eventually come around to adjusting to a new frenemy relationship with 1-A... with much difficulty when we take his pride, insecurities & self-righteous envy into account.

He’ll probably end up being Tsundere about everything to protect his ego and so Horikoshi can keep using him for comedic relief lol.  Even if he does realize a lot of what he’s done was f*ked up, he’s too brash of a prankster to ever go fully soft on them either.

TL;DR... Monoma is a piece of mf work.  Not surprising really.

[owl-with-a-pen]

What if Nia had gotten so angry at lex after what happened with brainy, she went to go try and kill him? 😳 and brainy had to stop her. We’ve seen the dark side of brainy before but never in Nia really, discluding “reality bytes”

- Oooh, I like this idea a lot! I brought a few more characters into play for this as well, hope you don’t mind!

“I’m gonna kill him.”

Nia stormed past Kara for the third consecutive time, swivelling on her foot just shy of hitting the far wall so that she could continue pacing across Lena’s lab. Her hands were clenched so tightly together that her fingers were beginning to burn, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was ending Lex’s sorry existence once and for all.

“Nia,” Kara cut in, taking a placating step forward, “just think for a second-”

“You can’t stop me, Kara,” Nia snarled. She knew she’d gained something of an audience since Lena and Alex had returned from the recovery room, could feel their eyes tracking her every movement, but just thinking about who they’d been tending to, the state he’d been in when they’d found him in Leviathan’s ship, made the anger inside her chest that much more vitriolic. There was a pressure growing inside her skull, throbbing along to the beat of her heart. She stopped short, jerking her arm in the direction Lena and Alex had come from. “Look what he did to Brainy. Months of hurting him, putting him through god knows what!”

“And you have every reason to be angry,” Kara said gently.

Nia snorted, rolling her eyes. “Great, ‘cuz I was totally asking for your permission.”

“Nia-”

“No.” Nia turned to Kara then, jaw clenched tight. “Y’know what? No. You don’t have a right to tell me I’m wrong here. Lex kills people, Kara, did you think of that, huh? Did you think of who Brainy might have helped Lex kill? What Lex might have made him do?” Nia could feel tears burning in her eyes, could taste a thickness in her throat, but she forced every bit of strength into her voice regardless. “None of us stopped that.”

“None of us knew,” Alex muttered.

“And who’s fault is that?” Nia shot back, whirling on Alex accusingly. “Brainy’s? Or maybe, maybe the truth is, it was ours. I ignored my dreams and we all, we all ignored him!” Nia sucked air through her teeth. She knew she was trembling, but seeing those concerned looks on her friends’ faces did nothing to cool the fire welling inside of her. She swallowed hard, ignoring the iron tang in the back of her mouth, and drew out a slow breath. “But, most importantly,” she said carefully, “it’s Lex’s fault. This is all Lex’s fault.”

“I don’t disagree with you,” Lena said. Her expression had been especially still throughout Nia’s tirade, although something about it now looked distinctly uneasy. “But, Brainy was careful. I saw him-” Lena cringed suddenly, looking away.

Nia knew why, just as well as anyone else in the room did. Lena had known Brainy had been working for Lex – for months - and she hadn’t said a word. She’d kept his secret. No, no, she hadn’t kept his secret, she hadn’t cared about it.

“It was only brief,” Lena said quickly, glancing back to her, “but during that time, he promised me that no one would be harmed whilst he aided with Lex’s schemes. He wouldn’t have broken his code, Nia. Not even for Lex; I’m certain.”

“You killed him.”

“What?”

Nia stared at Lena coldly. “You shot him, right? You shot your brother in the heart and you didn’t think about it. Because it was justice.”

“It wasn’t justice-” Kara tried desperately.

“I’m not talking to you!” Nia gritted. She didn’t even spare Kara a passing glance. All of her attention was devoted to Lena. “Let her talk.”

Lena’s eyes were bright, shimmering things. Still, she didn’t look away this time. Instead, her lips twitched into sharp smile. “What do you want me to say?” she asked coldly. “That killing my brother was cathartic, that it closed old wounds that I thought might never heal?” She raised her chin. “No, you want the whole truth. That my actions stopped a threat that would have continued relentlessly unless someone had the nerve to take that shot. To leave his lifeless body to rot with the worms like he deserved.”

Kara made a pained sound in the back of her throat.

Lena glanced at her. “Don’t get me wrong,” she said plainly. “I don’t condone this. But, not because I don’t agree with her.” Lena turned back to Nia, her brow furrowed. “Nia, taking a person’s life is something you can never take back.”

Nia bared her teeth. “And yet, that’s exactly what the Anti Monitor did.” She gestured at Lena frankly, feeling wayward strands of dream energy snap and spark between her fingers. “Absolve you, or whatever.”

“I’d kill my brother again without a moment’s hesitation,” Lena said stiffly, lifting herself to her full height. “But, we can still stop him without resorting to that.” Her expression softened. “Even if we couldn’t, my actions, they aren’t yours. Nia, you don’t have the stomach for this. You shouldn’t.”

Nia clenched her hands again, feeling her energy pool into every digit. Vibrant blue light simmered against her palms. “No offence, Lena, but you don’t know anything about what I’m capable of right now.”

“Nia?”

Nia faltered, the shock of her power dimming as she half turned to meet the new voice behind her back.

Brainy was stood in the lab’s entryway, his shoulder pressed heavily against the wall. If the frailness of his expression was anything to go by, Nia was certain it was the only thing keeping him from keeling over.

His green skin was still far too pale to be healthy, and his blond hair clung to the side of his jaw with cold sweat, but he was awake. He was…

Why was he awake?

Between the two of them, Lena and Alex had been able to help along Brainy’s natural healing process using a cocktail of experimental drugs, the names of which Nia wasn’t even going to try to pronounce. But Brainy’s IV wasn’t present, instead she could see an angry looking bruise already beginning to blossom over the delicate skin on his left hand.

The dream energy dissolved from Nia’s hands in an instant, rocketing back towards her chest so quickly that she nearly choked. She rushed over to him, reaching tentatively for his arm.

This close, she could see the shadows that had sunk into his cheek bones, the red veins that still branched along the whites of his eyes. He held one arm protectively around his chest, clenched between the steady glow of his three life projectors.

“Brainy,” Nia said breathlessly, running her hand carefully along his arm, desperate to offer any kind of support she could. “You shouldn’t be up.”

Brainy clenched his teeth, lowering his head. “I-I overheard…” he managed.

It took her a second, but although his eyes were heavy lidded, Nia realised that Brainy was looking down at her hands, at the vibrant energy she’d summoned only moments ago. Something heavy settled inside her stomach at that look.

“Nia,” Brainy continued softly. “You- you don’t need to do this.”

A pained laugh caught in Nia’s throat. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

Brainy smiled tiredly, lifting his head with clearly more energy than he had to expend. Nia ached to do something for him, to take that hurt away, but the anger inside of her no longer burned like fire. Instead, it twisted deep in her gut, churning together with every bit of fear she’d been trying to hold down since the moment they’d gotten Brainy out of Leviathan’s clutches.

“Killing Lex…” Brainy said, meeting Nia’s eyes. “It will not take back what I did. I worked for him of my own volition, he didn’t force me into anything.”

Nia swallowed hard, closing her eyes.

“You have every right to be angry with me,” Brainy said earnestly. “But, please, don’t channel that anger into something this destructive. Lena is right. Taking a life is never worth it. There is always a better way.”

Nia’s eyes shot open at that. She blinked quickly, shaking her head. “I’m not,” she said. “I’m not mad at you.”

When Brainy only stared at her, Nia felt the twist in her stomach sour even further. She gritted her teeth, blinking back against the sudden burn in her eyes. “I- I don’t want to be,” she said weakly.

“It’s okay.”

Nia startled at the feel of Brainy’s fingers brush against her free hand. She clenched the one around his arm in response. “It’s not okay,” she gritted. “It wasn’t your fault. I-”

“From what I understand,” Brainy said, “emotions do not always make sense. But that does not make them any less real.”

For a long moment, Nia couldn’t say a word against him. Because, as much as she hated to admit it, he was right. She was angry, so angry, but she was also terrified and sick and hollow. There was a bitter hole in her heart, one that had only continued to grow in the months since Brainy had broken up with her. He’d barely spoken to her since, had hardly stood to be in the same room as her at all. The closest they’d gotten was work-related interactions and even then, he’d been so distant, like a part of him hadn’t even been there.

And when she’d seen Brainy in Leviathan’s ship, every single piece of bitterness had surged to life in a united front to keep her grounded, to keep her away from every other emotion threatening to tear her apart. It had warped into a violent rage, an acrid burn inside her lungs, fuelling her on this fruitless pursuit to, what? Kill Lex? As though that’d make her feel better, as though any of this would make her feel better?

Nia couldn’t find it in her to say that all out loud. Instead, she sniffed hard, biting her lip. “You left me alone,” she said lowly. “And that killed me.”

“I know,” Brainy said, his voice pained. “It… it killed me too, and I know this isn’t enough, that it won’t take away the hurt, but I am so, so sorry, Nia Nal.” His eyes fluttered suddenly, and he closed them quickly, lowering his head. “I will always be sorry.”

Nia knew this wasn’t the right time to have this conversation. Brainy’s complexion was already losing the little colour he’d gained; his jaw was tight with discomfort, and as a harsh shudder ran up his spine, she watched as he lost the last of his composure, leaning his head against the wall with a weak grimace.

Nia wasn’t sure what she was feeling in that moment, but when Brainy’s legs nearly gave out, she didn’t hesitate. Her arms were wrapped around his back before she even knew that she was moving forward, burying her face securely into the side of his neck. His skin was sticky with cold sweat, but she didn’t care, she only hugged him fiercer, unable to keep a sob from heaving its way out of her throat.

“It will be enough,” she whispered, feeling as Brainy slowly began to relax into her embrace. “It’ll just take some time.”

There was more she wanted to say now. The words practically thundered inside her ears, clawing to be let out. Words like, how much she loved him, how she’d never stopped loving him, but how even that couldn’t take away the resentment she’d stored against herself, against him, for leaving her without a proper explanation, for making her feel like her feelings were unwarranted, unreciprocated.

But her throat was tight, and the only sounds she was able to make were the harsh gasps as her chest hitched and fell outside of her control. She could hear Brainy’s pulse beating away against her cheek, the moisture of his own tears wetting strands of her hair.

All she wanted to do was hold on and never, ever let go.

Brainy didn’t say a word, either. Although, for him, it was for a far more pressing reason. His breathing was already beginning to strain against her shoulder, and when he suddenly dipped dangerously in her arms, Nia strengthened her hold around him, leaning them both against the wall to support their combined weights.

“So, does this mean no one’s murdering anyone anymore?” Alex asked from across the room.

Nia’s chest clenched. She’d totally forgotten that her reunion with Brainy had been met with an audience. She lifted her head from his shoulder, blinking against the brightness of the room before turning towards her friends.

Alex was already on her way over to them, her eyes reviewing every inch of Brainy in both parts medical and familial concern. Kara and Lena hovered awkwardly together, seemingly aware that crowding Brainy right now might not be the best plan.

Nia met Kara’s gaze warily, offering her an apologetic wince. “I…” she began.

“It’s okay,” Kara said softly, her eyes creasing with a smile.

Nia sighed, shaking her head. “Okay,” she said levelly. “Maybe, maybe we don’t have to kill him. But the next cell we put that asshole in, he’s never getting out of.”

Kara’s smile widened into a grin. “Now, that’s a plan I can get behind.”

“First thing’s first,” Alex cut in, rousing Brainy enough that he was able to glance blearily up from Nia’s shoulder. She pressed the back of her hand against his forehead, narrowing her eyes at the result. “You’re telling me what the hell you did with your IV. Then, you’re going back to bed.”

Brainy nodded weakly, mumbling a quiet apology, although Nia knew Alex wasn’t looking for one. In fact, she was pretty certain she’d heard Alex forgive Brainy at least a dozen times over while he’d still been delirious from the radiation.

Nia chuckled, helping Alex manoeuvre Brainy’s weight back down the hall.

“C’mon Wildcat,” she murmured into his ear. “We’ve got you.”

Maybe they hadn’t had a chance to get everything out in the open just yet, but they would. 

Once Brainy was healthy and rested, they’d have all the time in the world.

[randomly-talented]

Okay, okay, I'm not really good at making sentences work the way I want them but I'll try to convey my thoughts and emotions over the characters from Bug Fables after completing the game last night at 2:00 ish in the morning (I was weak and there no way I was gonna stop with all the stuff that was going on at the end. I'm the type of player that plays till a good stopping point) that being said there will be spoilers from here on down so you've been warned!

But really it's such a beautiful experience and i highly recommend going in blind to any new player.

Okay, on to the point. I know many people have decided on their favorite of the team and I'm not here to say "oh they're the best and you're wrong!" NOPE I'm not doing that I am trying to say is "they're all the best and you're so right to care for one but let's love them all". Each character has their own ideals and their own goals when we first meet them.

Vi (Violet) a bee who has essentially runaway from home after burning the bridges between her family and her "mother" the queen to become an explorer. An occupation that (based off context clues) is the last thing a bee does for a living. And this is emphasized with all other bugs that explore being not only bigger than her but NOT bees. And biologically...it makes sense! A bee, is to collect pollen and nectar for the hive and produce honey (which Vi use to do with her job at the factory) and biologically bees do avoid fighting since their only way of attacking is with their stinger. But unlike the other black and yellow bugs, a bee's stinger is a one use thing. After it's used, it remains in the creature the bee attacked and from the bee's body it takes their organs with it. (If I remember that correctly. It's been a while since I looked up why bee's die after stinging someone). But you understand the concern that other bees in Vi's life have for her becoming an explorer. But that isn't the only thing the Vi dealt with before becoming and explorer, she had to deal with many of her friends and family badmouth her dreams and guilt her from trying to accomplish them. As Vi said to her sister when they were trying to resolve their fight, "But if I can say something, you were mean to me too! I had dreams and you stomped over them! I'm doing great! I've gone to many places and beat up huge monsters! If...if you had any faith in me I could've done it sooner!" Even her desire of money is so that she can live how she wants without anyone telling her how to live. And it's a strong desire due to the fact that Vi is always trying to strike a deal or not spend their savings on expensive wants, shown through her reluctance to buy the green ranger toy, or her utter shock to the 400 berries flower toy she forked the money for. (Something that shocked Leif and Kabbu due to the fact that Vi just spent 400 berries on a toy for someone else)

Kabbu a beetle (who specific species I don't know) who is the definition of an honorable bug. Going out of his way to help others and if it weren't for Vi he'd do it for free. Which would essentially leave him homeless once that is said and done. Who through the majority of the game he's the voice of reason, passion, and inspiration. (With a skill "Pep Talk" he's able to revive a fainted teammate). And who wishes to create a team of explorers to call his own. I will say that Kabbu was precious. I loved how the only reason Vi and Leif got anything done or didn't do a crime, the chaotic duo that they are, was because of Kabbu and how his hesitance was enough to keep Vi and Leif from upsetting him further. But I do want to say that I found it odd how willing he was to behave that way. When I was playing through the festival I found it so weird how Kabbu was okay with not participating at all. Until I realized that I personally do that too. Kabbu was happy as long as his teammates were having fun. (Until you learn of his old teammates, who were trying to go to bugaria by going through the swamplands and perished to the Beast by holding it off while Kabbu ran away) Kabbu who after surviving the Beast alone had to make more than half of the journey to the Ant Kingdom alone, through a desert filled with monsters, some which he couldn't attack by himself due to their burrow ability, and bandits, with some bandits flying to high for him to do anything but run from. The entire time being alone to fester in the guilt that he essentially "abandoned" his teammates to die at the hands of the beast and how easy the desert would be if his teammates were there to help him. (Not only that but if I remember correctly Kabbu's old teammates were more experienced than Kabbu himself, which added to the guilt "if I was stronger they would still be around") And now the festival wasn't as happy as it was led to appear. Kabbu is okay with letting his teammates have fun because he doesn't "need" to have fun. Vi and Leif are placeholders for his old teammates during this event. If they can have fun one more time, I can truly be happy. I will keep them safe and happy unlike my old teammates. I will do all within my power to make sure my teammates are happy and safe. Because I didn't the first time and I won't make that same mistake. That is why when we collectively reach the grasslands Kabbu comes to the decision that he's strong enough to avenge his fallen teammates by defeating the Beast. Alone if he must.

Leif a moth (with the ability to control ice that they generate within their body) who is found after Kabbu and Vi stumble into the deeps of Snake mouth cave. And when they're awakened from their "nap" Leif has no idea that time has essentially changed. Now the Ant Kingdom has grown, their queen is no longer in charge but their daughter. And things aren't as peaceful as they use to be, the wasps and termites have cut ties with the ant kingdom, there are bandits left and right, and now there is need for a prison when in the past there was no such need. All of the bugs that Leif once knew are no more except Rebecca who is too aged to fully remember them. (If that's her name, I honestly was never too sure...) And it wasn't till later in the story that Leif is shocked to realize that one of the family's in the residential areas looks just like they're wife Muse. And that is when you realize that Leif was stripped from they're family. And thus leads to Leif working harder in finding out what exactly happened in that cave and when we do it's heartbreaking. Apparently Snake mouth cave was home to a civilization of roach scientists who were trying to recreate an equivalent to the eternal sapling by experimenting with cordyceps and bugs that the roaches lured to the cave with the promise of an artifact that would lead to the everlasting sapling. That is why there was a trap door as you open the door to the "treasure" of Snake mouth cave and further beyond that "treasure" was another door were bugs were inhumanely experimented on in some sick experiment as the roaches looked for purpose. (It's only super concerning that the majority of zombified bugs happen to be small ants, bees of the "smaller" variety, and green beetles of the "larger" variety. (Creepily enough they looked like Vi and Kabbu and I really hope that Leif's old teammates weren't some variety of those bugs cuz that would be super upsetting.) There, Leif learns that they were once dead, and that they're not even them, they were a sentient cordyceps that "failed" the roaches test and possessed a dead bug, Leif, who was most likely ambushed with his team and left behind by said team least they all lose their lives. Only for Leif to be subjected to experiments in order to become the next immortal, a purpose for the roaches to live for. And unluckily (luckily??) survived the experiments once a cordyceps housed itself within them in a symbiotic relationship. And with Kabbu and Vi's help, comes to accept that they have always been the same bug from the beginning till now and onwards. Now that they realize that even though they are part cordyceps part moth it doesn't mean they have really changed from the bug they use to be when it came to they're family. Which gave them the courage to meet the present version of their family and be accepted with open arms (it was touching and I cried).

But that's just it. Vi, Kabbu, and Leif; Team Snakemouth are the best team, because they had each other. And even though they each had their own personalities and their pasts that laid heavy within each of their minds. Team Snakemouth supported itself, and was open to itself (some a bit more than others). They keep their secrets within the team, they backed each other up, they tease each other, they beat anyone fight anyone that insults one of them (How dare you insult us! Insult one you insult all!). Because they aren't just one, they are a team, a family, friends. A success, is all their success. A failure, is all their failure. One's happiness, is all their happiness. And ones sadness, is all their sadness. And it was their team that saved Bugaria from the wasp King. And we loved them all.

[hongism]

i should clarify i still think hongjoong did the right thing as a captain but i’m mad at him Emotionally. like logistically i agree with him emotionally i’m mad IDK IF THAT MAKES SENSE… maybe also cuz he didn’t really Seem sad about it unless it was for hurting san not for losing y/n i’m just rambling i still love hongjoong’s character in this series i’m just angy it had to be this way. this is also exactly why i think you’re an incredible writer like it’s not a black or white situation and you can’t really put “blame” on anyone. literally every single one of them is emotionally and physically exhausted it’s understandable that none of them are able to process/react as “ethically” as any might expect. english is also not my first language so if i’m not making sense i am so incredibly sorry

english isn’t your first language but you speak (or write i suppose osigjjoigfd) better than me on a good day T-T you’re making sense completely like!! it’s amazing actually bc this is truly the exact vision i had for the scene where readers could be upset emotionally, but understand from a logistical standpoint why it was a good idea to do what he did so!! this is literally exactly what i was hoping for in every way! and it is an interesting thing to note that hongjoong wasn’t sad to y/n’s face and remained sort of noncommittal about it until it came to facing san. i think you also bring up a good point in terms of the exhaustion - i think 41 as a whole can be summed up as the effects of mental and physical exhaustion, and how that manifests emotionally. we see it really clearly in wooyoung and yeosang, along with hongjoong and y/n, but i think we also see it in y/n and san a bit in the beginning. it simply doesn’t show in negative ways but rather positive ways, and in a lot of ways, this whole chapter was an exploration of reactions to exhaustion! but now i’m rambling too dfljgoidfjgoif

[twdmusicboxmystery]

The Daryl and Leah Spoilers - Everybody BREATHE!

Okay, let’s talk about it. We’re gonna have to talk about it. The Crappiest Spoilers of All Time. (We’ll just abbreviate them CSAT, okay?)

Yes, I saw them. Yes, I spent most of the day yesterday talking about them with people. Yes, we went up and down and forward and back and right and left trying to figure out what the hell. Actually, I literally got 68 Asks about this yesterday. 68! Lol. I may have sarcastically told a couple of people it was 400. It wasn’t that high. But even when something big happens, I don’t generally get more than about 20, so this was a lot.

***Below I’ll be talking about all kinds of spoilers for 10x18! If you’re not someone who wants to know, stop reading now. You’ve been warned!***

Okay, let’s start by attacking this head-on.

Does this suck? Yes.

Am I happy about it? Obviously not.

Does it change my opinion about Beth’s return? Not in the slightest.

And in all seriousness, I’m not trying to make light of this. I totally understand how everyone is feeling right now and I feel the same. But if you’re doubting or losing hope, please keep reading. I really think the things I have to say after talking to people in the fandom literally all day yesterday will make you feel better.

So I’m going to talk about some things that are suspicious to me about this, and also about some reasons why, even if it’s exactly what it looks like, we don’t really need to worry. I’m also gonna give you a possible way this could actually be okay, but I’ll warn you that scenario is mostly head canon and not super likely to be the case.

Context

The first thing I’m going to point out is that we really, REALLY do not have the full context for this episode. CSAT are big, but there’s a lot we don’t know about what’s going on here. I have a thousand questions and we can’t really be sure of anything until we know the answers. Which we won’t until we see the episode.

And I don’t mean things that make me doubt CSAT are true. I mean like, what is Leah doing out there? Why did no one else ever meet her? Why did she disappear? Did she go on her own because she’s a jerk, or was she taken? Is the CRM involved? We simply don’t know.

These are just a few, and the answers might profoundly effect the way we view these events. So, I’m just saying there’s a lot we can’t be sure of and we should be taking these with a grain of salt. I’ll come back to these questions in a minute. 

The Psychology

So, my first reaction to this was that it’s not entirely unrealistic. Is it out of character? Yes, for sure. They’ve pegged Daryl as a character who wouldn’t do something like this, so it’s definitely out of character for him. I’m totally with ya on that. But I also feel like this isn’t a real relationship for him. What I mean is, it might be something of a rebound or an act of desperation on his part.

Think about what we know about this part of his life. He’s just lost Rick and is devastated. According to these same CSAT, Carol abandons him. AGAIN. I think he’s feeling very depressed and lonely and would reach out to just about anyone at this point. It doesn’t mean he’s in love with her. And yes, I know about the note he wrote to her, but I still think that can be explained by his state of mind. If he’s not feeling like he belongs anywhere else, and Carol has specifically told him she’s not coming back, why wouldn’t he go with someone who’s promising him companionship? I don’t like it, and I know it’s not what everyone wants to hear, but I do understand it.

I promise I’ll move onto happier things. Like this:

Patterns:

We’ve seen this pattern with A LOT of the TWD couples. They put one or both of them together with a small, short-term love interest. And that always happens RIGHT BEFORE they hook up with their soul mate. So, let’s review, shall we?

Carol had Tobin, and right after she left him, she met Ezekiel. Rick kissed Jessi, and only a month after she died, he and Michonne finally got together. Enid was with Ron when we first met her, but it was obvious Carl was meant to be her true love. You could even point to Abraham and Rosita. Their relationship was a bit longer and more established than these others, but the fact is Rosita wasn’t Abe’s soul mate. Sasha was. And now Rosita is with Gabriel, so…

My point is that Leah may be Daryl’s Jessie. Or Tobin. Take your pick. But the pattern is that this will be short term and he should be finding his true soul mate VERY soon after. Just saying.

Is This a Healthy Relationship?

Someone in my group pointed this out. CSAT says she asks him to choose between her and the rest of his life. I didn’t think much about that until one of my FB groupies pointed it out, but it’s really not cool to do that to him. It’s almost passive-aggressive. The way I see it, when you fall in love with someone, you want to get to know their family and participate in every part of their lives. If this was a true, committed relationship, she would WANT to go to Alexandria and meet his friends. She would WANT to help him in his search for Rick’s body. But that doesn’t seem to be the case.

So, in terms of how Daryl feels about her, well, loneliness is a different feeling than real love, and I’m not sure this is the healthiest relationship for Daryl to be in.

Scope, or Lack Thereof

The thing that I think most of the fandom is on the same page about is how out of character this is for Daryl. How out of left field this feels.

I’m mean, this is Daryl. Daryl Freaking Dixon. The writers know about the shipping wars. They know that no matter who they pair him up with—Carol, Connie, Beth, Leah, someone else—it’s going to be a huge deal. For them to do it like this just doesn’t make sense.

Now, I don’t think we have a definite timeline on this. We have two possibilities.

1)     I’ve seen some people say he’s sleeping with a complete stranger, which is very out of character for him.

2)     I’ve also seen posts that claim the two of them meet and develop a relationship over time. That would be less out of character, but it would also mean that the writers developed an entire relationship for Daryl in only one episode…and then took it away.

Does that seem logical to you? I just don’t buy it.

So, at the very least, if this turns out to be what it looks like on the surface—a real romantic relationship for him—I’m gonna say it’s not going to be a big one. It’s not going to be end-all, be-all of Daryl’s love life.

My Praying-This-Headcanon-Is-True-While-Also-Trying-Not-To-Get-My-Hopes-Up-That-It-Is Theory

All right, everyone. I honestly wasn’t sure I should even include this. I don’t want to get people’s hopes up about it. But the more I think about it, the more I think it’s a distinct possibility. 

So, @wdway said this first, and I kind of just glazed over it like, “Meh, probably not.” But the more I thought about it, and the more I talked to people and hashed things out, the more sense it made.

Let me go back to some of those questions I asked at the beginning. Why did no one else ever meet Leah when he was in a relationship with her? Yes, because they were out in the woods together, but it talks about him going to see Carol and going to Alexandria and looking for Rick, which is why she asks him to choose in the first place.

But if you have a sustained relationship with someone, why wouldn’t you introduce them to your friends? Why wouldn’t he have taken her to Alexandria with him? It’s really odd to me that this happened at a time when Daryl was completely on his own out in the woods and NO ONE in his life ever saw or met her.

(Once again, I have to point out that with how vague CSAT are, we can’t know for sure that no one else knew about her. Maybe when we watch the episode, it will show that someone did, but this is the vibe I’m getting right now.)

What else do we know about this point in his life? He’s deep in the throes of his grief over Rick, he’s withdrawn to his robotic, survival mode, which he always does when he’s lost someone close to him, Carol has just abandoned him, and he’s lonely. People who spend too much time alone DO tend to go a little crazy.

So, here it is:

Is there any chance this Leah woman…could be a hallucination?

Honestly guys, that makes WAY more sense to me than that she’s real. Because everyone in the fandom who’s saying this is out of character for Daryl is 100% right. Everyone who’s asking why the writers would do this is 100% right to be asking that question.

And let me tell you, it’s not just us asking it. The entire fandom is. Obviously, all the shippers. And while I’m sure there are some in the non-shipping fans who are glad Daryl is getting a love interest, even they think it’s a little weird. Cuz, you know, it is.

But this show regularly does hallucination story arcs, and Daryl himself even has a history of it. I’m just saying.

People have also suggested that it would sort of makes sense given what I said above about the “unhealthiness” of their relationship. Maybe her wanting him to choose was really more about his sanity and leaving the delusion behind. Again, just a thought.

Then there’s the suspicious timing of CSAT.

Suspicious Release of CSAT and Hype

While messaging with @monroelibrarian0626, she said something I hadn’t thought of that made a lot of sense. Does anyone else find it suspicious that they said we wouldn’t be getting screeners for several weeks and then literally two days later all these spoilers about Daryl’s sex life drop?

It’s not rocket science to know that tptb intentionally leaked these to drum up viewership. Everyone is totally going to watch to see what this is all about. But it also seems to me that they may be releasing just enough information to get everyone all hyped up and then it won’t end up being what it seems. Here, I’ll just give you part of my text message with her because she explains this point better than I do.

But yeah, I get that impression that she's not real, and that's really good promotion and hype for the producers to draw in more viewers. Don't miss it! Daryl is gonna have sex! And then, boom! You find out it's a hallucination. I remember with LOST, there was a preview for next week's show, and in it, the Korean guy, Jin, was shown saying, "It's going to be alright." And he didn't speak English then, in season 2, so it was like, OH MY GOD! And here, when the episode aired, Jin speaking English was part of Hurley's hallucination. Could be along the same lines! --@monroelibrarian0626

Doesn’t that just make a certain amount of sense? Especially given how out of character this feels for Daryl? No matter what you think of the writers on this show, they just really don’t betray the way they’ve set up their characters like this.

Now, once again, I’m really not hanging all my hopes on this. I’m preparing myself for the outcome of her being real and this being a real relationship for Daryl. Mostly because I don’t want to get my hopes too high. And I would suggest you all make your peace with that being the case. I’m just throwing this out there as a possibility. Even TD aside, given how out of character this feels, it would make more sense to me than that they’ve actually put him in this relationship.

It could also that once we actually see the entire episode, depending on what the other details of the story line are, it might be really obvious that she’s real and the detail will explain a lot of this away. That’s a real possibility. Once we learn about other parts of the episode, everything I’ve said here could easily go straight down the toilet.

Another outcome is that she could be a hallucination, but we won’t even know it because Daryl doesn’t. If he doesn’t realize she wasn’t real, the viewers might not be told that, either.

Other Things I’m Side-Eyeing

Check out this tweet, specifically the emojis he uses. Don’t you find those suspicious? Fish? A violin? A sunrise? Boat? Hourglass? Now, this guy got a screener. He’s not one of the writers or someone close to the show who would know the overarching grand plan, so I’m not suggesting he has some inside knowledge of Beth’s return.

But why would he use these emojis? There’s no reason for him to tie them to Leah. The only answer there can be is that he saw these things in the episode. He simply added them to the tweet as hints of what we can expect. And if all those symbols are represented in the episode, this is going to be a super heavy Beth-symbolism episode.

Not to mention, have you checked out Leah’s costuming in detail? Her boots are damn close to what Beth’s looked like. And sitting on the porch, the bag on her back looks a LOT like the one Beth carried in Still. 

I feel like she’s a Beth stand-in. And I think that will be true whether she’s real or not. Again, if we go with the Tobin/Jessi/Ron pattern, she’ll be a forerunner of Beth, so having Beth symbolism around her isn’t surprising.

But once again, this isn’t something we need to worry about.

And don’t even get me started on the damn cabin motif. I’ve been thinking about this since I did my 5x09/Tyreese post last week. I’m not going to go into details here because I don’t even have it all straight in my head yet, but it has some interesting ramifications for this Daryl/Leah situation.

So, pretty much everything that everyone is saying (including me) is pure conjecture until we actually see the episode. I know that’s probably not very helpful, but it’s the truth.

So, what’s my main point about this? It’s this:

I hope she’s a hallucination, but even if she’s not, it doesn’t bother me overly much. I mean, of course I’m bothered because I don’t like to see him in a relationship with her, but I mean I’m not bothered where Beth is concerned. It doesn’t change the fact that I think she’ll still be back, and this will just be a blip of some kind in Daryl’s story. And if she’s real, and it’s following the Tobin/Jessie/Ron pattern, Beth (his true soulmate) should be surfacing VERY soon thereafter.

So, we basically don’t know anything until we do, and I know the fandom is collectively losing its mind. I know this is going to be hard to get used to. But try to make your peace with it, in all its possible iterations. Try not to let it freak you out. Hold the line, TDers. Hold the line!