#(had to add tags sorry to everyone :sob:)

[eclipixnova]

make saki angst that doesnt mention tsukasa. like at all. or just saki angst that doesn't involve tsukasa he can be mentioned or apart of the story

make saki angst. THAT ISNT ABOUT HER FUCKING DYING AND TSUKASA BEING SAD AND TAKING THE SPOTLIGHT

[sexlapis]

Ho! I loooooooveeee your actor toji fics! Is it possible to get added to the taglist? Thank you ~

Also an idea: a bts scene of reader getting sick on set(perhaps even collapsing) due to fatigue and toji taking care of them- I feel like that'd be such a hit ship moment irl :D

thank you for liking my fics <3 you can be added to the tag list 🩵.

and omg yeah i love that idea of reader overworking themselves and toji looking after them :’). and yeah i didn’t make it a behind the scenes clip i made a short fic abt it bc i do not know when to stop.. like give me an idea and i will fly away w it like a bird liek..i don’t even think this is what you asked for srsly…i hope you don’t mind (but i’ll add it to my tojiyn headcanons hehe)

cw: actor toji x actress reader, hurt/comfort, angst to fluff, swearing, petnames (‘kid’, ik people don’t like this one but i think it’s so sweet & so toji :)), collapsing, mentions of skipping meals/not eating, poor sleeping habits, feelings of loneliness & inadequacy, crying, toji taking care of reader, i made this way more angsty than you asked sorry :(

wc: 2k+

you dragged yourself through the doors of the studio, immediately bombarded by directors, stylists, scrip writers and other cast members on your way to the dressing room, only fuelling your fatigue and stress.

sleep was a foreign concept at this point. five hours at most. so were healthy, filling meals - the last time you ate was yesterday at noon, and for breakfast today all you had was a cup of coffee, not helping your nervous, exhausted state.

admittedly, you were not doing very well. you felt that your acting was subpar and you felt lonely and isolated on set. while everyone went with their friends for a break or lunch, you sat by yourself in your dressing room, your only company being the silence.

sure, toji was also on set too, but he played a very minor role, so he wasn’t always there. and even when he was sometimes, he would hang out with the other crew members, which wasn’t a problem of course, but it did sting a little when he chose them over you.

you just felt so lonely, anxious and quite frankly upset at yourself and the circumstances you find yourself in.

there are a few knocks at your dressing room door and you weakly tell them to come in.

toji peeks is head in. “hey, kid. we start in five..” he takes a look at your weary face, dark eye bags prominent even through the makeup the stylists caked on and the frown on your lips and just knows something is wrong.

“are you ‘right?” he asks quietly, like you’re a deer who’s about to run away at the slightest of sounds.

“yes, i’m fine.” you lie, a voice in the back of your mind wishing he’d just ignore you like everyone else on this damn set does.

“‘you sure? ‘cause you don’t look-”

“i said im fine! just get out.” you snap, heart beating and breathing heavily at your own outburst.

fuck. you didn’t mean to say that.

but toji doesn’t look offended. he just nods and walks away footsteps fading as you put your head in your hands and sob.

so there you are, acting in front of the camera with your colleague in a scene where toji appears in too and you just seem off. everyone assumes it’s just not your day today and they’re not exactly wrong. you lines were slightly forced, tired and you were jittery and clearly apprehensive, like you didn’t even want to be here.

“cut!” the director calls out, more than annoyed with your behaviour. it was the sixth take and you’re really trying to make it believable, but it’s futile.

“this is the sixth take _____. this is ridiculous. get your act together. let’s take five.”

you look down at your shoes, face hot and chest thudding with embarrassment due to the director calling you out in front of everybody. tears well up in your eyes and you sigh, blinking them away as everyone starts talking again, walking away leaving you standing there like an idiot.

it all becomes too much for you. your empty stomach, oncoming headache, exhausted body, dry mouth, furrowed eyebrows, sweaty palms-

you let your script fall out of your hand as you stumble off the green screen, trying to get to your room before a hand is grabbing your arm. you turn around and it’s toji again.

“hey..” he leans down slightly to your height, scanning you over once. “you don’t look so good, _____-”

you shrug him off, vision becoming blurred with black static and limbs heavy and shaky. “i-i jus’ need to go. to my..uhm-” you stop, rubbing a hand down your face harshly. “i just-”

and then there is black.

౨ৎ

you come to and realise that you are laying on your dressing room couch, staring up at the ceiling. reaching up, you feel a wet, cool cloth on your head. you take it off. still fuzzy and body essentially lethargic, you try to sit up.

“hey, hey, hey.” toji whispers.

oh, toji’s here.

“take it easy.” he helps you sit up on the arm of the couch. he hands you a bottle of water and you drink it like a god.

“wait, what happened?” you ask, still confused and disoriented.

“you fuckin’ fainted that’s what,” he states bluntly. “scared the fuckin’ dogshit outta me.”

“oh.”

toji sits beside you on a chair, looking at you closely. you look down.

“the med team checked you out.” he tells you. “said you fainted, collapsed-whatever the fuck. ‘cos of stress and exhaustion. they even checked your blood sugar and said it was low as fuck.” he pauses. “not dangerously low,” he adds at the sight of your worried expression, “but.. low enough.”

you sigh, falling back on the couch. you think back to how the director shouted at you, how annoyed he was, and how humiliated you felt. tears start to form again and you cover your face with your hands, not wanting to cry in front of toji. you felt like you’ve had enough embarrassment for today.

toji leans forward. “what’s happening with you?”

the way he said it, so soft and concerned, makes the tears fall down and cause sobs to escape your mouth, hiccuped breaths falling from your mouth.

“hey, hey, hey..” toji coos. he reaches to you and makes you sit up again so he can take you into his arms. you let him, sobbing into his shoulder and sucking up all the comfort he gives you. toji’s big hand strokes your hair and the other caresses your back softly.

“shh, sh, sh…” he calms you down a little, you sobs turning into sniffles. he leans back and gives you space but his hands stay planted on your back. “tell toji what’s wrong.”

you hum sadly, looking down and gulping. “i’m..i’m tired. i wanna sleep..”

toji waits for you to continue. he can see you want to say more so he doesn’t hurry you along, he just rubs your back and nods to let you know you’re listening.

“i..” you take a breath, “i dunno what to do..i can’t do this fucking role.. i’m fucking tired half the fucking day and my so called colleagues don’t even like me!” you try to calm yourself down, taking another shaky breath. “and i just feel..lonely all the time..” you cry out the last few words, feeling another sob session coming up and toji pulls you close, letting you ruin his shirt with your tears as he rocks you back and forth in his arms.

“it’s okay, it’s okay..” he coos, resting his face in your hair.

you both stay like that for a few moments, you weeps dying down before toji talks.

“you can play this part, _____. ‘you have any idea how good your are, huh? you can act circles around half ‘these guys.”

you scoff, pulling your lips together. “i dunno about that..”

“‘m serious. _____, you can act, okay? ‘wouldn’t have made it this far if you couldn’t.”

“yeah but..this one’s hard..” you sigh, voice cracking but toji doesn’t let you start again.

“yeah, acting’s hard. but i can help you,” toji cups your wet face with his hands, wiping the tear streaks that paint you face, “we can all help you. the crew, your friends, that bitchass director. i’ll put a gun to everyone’s head to make them fuckin’ help you with this.”

you giggle at his seriousness and he huffs, relieved that you’re relaxing a little.

“they don’t hate you, y’know. everybody on set. the cast. they just think you’re a little shy and quiet. they don’t hate you, okay?” toji reassures you. you nod absentmindedly and he shakes your head from side to side to make you pay attention, making you smile, eyes crinkling even though they’re still tear stricken. “there she is..who the fuck could hate you, huh?”

“ugh, toji.” you roll your eyes, sniffling and rubbing your face. you pull away from him. “ugh..i just want my bed right now.”

“yeah..i know it ain’t my place but told the director that you’re taking a few days off. you need a break, kid.”

you didn’t even argue with him. you couldn’t.

“yeah, i do.” you agree.

suddenly, a loud rumble from your stomach erupts, it was like an earthquake.

toji laughs. “someone’s hungry.”

you groan. “‘m starving. haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

“we’re getting you something to eat.” he states, leaving no room for objections.

toji stands, holding his hand out for you to take. you do, his large, calloused hand dwarfing yours as he helps you stand up. “can you walk?”

“i will if there’s food involved.”

“that’s good.” toji chuckles, “how’s takeout sound?”

a/n: had to write a whole fic abt this i apologise 🥸 will add the tag list later i just keep forgetting the users </3

[imrllytootiredforthis]

omg i JUST read your soob drabble “nightmare dressed like a daydream” and the concept of popular reader x outcast soob has just been brainrotting me

like just imagine you guys got into a secret relationship after that project, and your favourite pastime now is to tease him both in school and out of school.

in school you guys act like you don’t know each other, he’s alone again and you’re surrounded by all your friends, but as you pass his desk you slip a note telling him to meet you under the stairs or on the rooftop. the moment he arrives you pull him down and begin to roughly make out with him, unbuckling his belt and he just shyly tells you ‘not at school’, so you just wreck him with your lips, sending him back to class with his cheeks flushed, hair tousled, collar undone and neck full of hickeys. he sits back into his seat in embarrassment, everyone knows what happened but no one says a thing… maybe after a bit you’ll get cocky and ask him to wear a vibrator in class, he pretends to be embarrassed but he still slips it in. when the teacher calls on him you turn on the vibrator and he can barely stutter out a coherent sentence, the teacher lets him off but he glances at you with teary eyes. you do this a couple more times until he’s excusing himself to the bathroom, you follow him out ‘as a good classmate checking on their peers’ and the moment you enter the bathroom hes begging you to help him.

after school you invite him into your house again and you just spoil him with attention, letting him explore around and be curious before bringing him to your room and having your way with him. and he’ll let you because this is the most attention he’s ever had in his entire school life. he’s so pliant and obedient under you, letting you play with every surface of skin you can touch, rubbing his nipples, kissing his inner thighs and finally stroking where he wants to be touched most. hes a total virgin, but a total pervert who has a ton of fantasies and kinks and this is his absolute dream come true. overstimulate him for hours until its dark out, whisper in his ear about how you saw his little glances and stares and how all he wished was for you to pay attention to him like you did with your friends. and he would sob but he couldn’t say a word because all of it was true. after you were both satisfied, you would let him sleep over, cooing at how pretty and sweet he was, and maybe you guys can even go on a secret date during the weekends…

THIS WAS SUPER LENGTHY IM SORRY THANK U FOR LISTENING TO MY RAMBLING HAHSJSKDKE

- 🍓

holy shit, i had to scour back through my soob tag to find the original drabble you're talking about😭, i kinda cringe when i read some of my old work but whatever

BC THIS IS SUCH A GOOD ADD ON-fuck i love shy loser virgin boys who just wanted to be loved and used, he's so cuteeee<3

[joekeeryswife]

For you, For her - e.m

hello angels! i hope everyone’s doing well. here is part two to deadbeat dad (the eddie version, steve version out soon!) i’m really excited about this one and i hope you all enjoy reading it🩷 if you enjoy rockstar!dad (or even just regular dad!Eddie) send me some requests!🩷

(here is the Steve alternative ending!)

taglist(feel free to add yourself🩷): @theshireisonfire @thankingjoe @livsters @sadbitchfangirl @hellfire1986baby @ladyapplejackdnd @alexxavicry @juleshadalittlelamb @hollandweather @lovurry @bibieddiesgf @plk-18 @m-rae23 @hargrovesswifee @missabsey @chxrrySprxut @idkjoequinn @plutosllama @emma77645 @birdysaturne @thefrontofmymind @pbs-theundeadmaggot @keirasreplies @tiannamortis (if there’s a line through your name i cannot tag you for some reason, make sure your tags are on. also lmk if you want to be deleted from my taglist 🩷)

"hey, what's got you up so early?" Eddie's manager Steph said leaning against the kitchen side as she drank her coffee. it was 8am and she was surprised to see him up this early. let alone up, dressed and ready to leave the house. he used to wake up every afternoon with a different groupie leading them to the front door where he promised to call them which he obviously never did.

but Steph hadn't been at his house, which he shared with Gareth, since Eddie went to your house to see Penny. she had absolutely no idea what he was doing for himself, for his daughter, for you. he hadn't even slept with anyone since he spoke to you.

"i've got to go see my daughter" it had been almost two months since Penny's party and he had been bettering himself for her. he would turn up practically every weekend to take her out and do something she'd like. sometimes he'd even come round on the wrong days just to spend time with her, it made Penny's face light up when he actually showed up when he said he would and it was beautiful to see.

"no, you can't go today we have that party later and we all want you there" Steph shouted as she watched him slip on his shoes and grab his keys off the side. he stopped and turned to her, Eddie was very easily influenced but he knew if he didn't turn up that his girl would be stopped from seeing him and he couldn't handle that.

"i'm sorry Steph but right now my kid is the only thing i care about, enjoy the party" with that he walked out the front door leaving her stunned. Eddie Munson never ever turned down a party.

the last time Eddie went to a party was the day of his daughters birthday, he knew it was horrible of him and he honestly hated himself for doing that but he had stopped partying, he had stopped drinking and doing drugs which had shocked everyone. his friends, his family, the press and he was proud of the person he was becoming.

after the situation which happened a week after Penny's birthday he went to Wayne and was shouted at by him for hours. Wayne was furious that he even have the audacity to show his face after what he had done to his daughter and after he told Eddie that he was ashamed of the person he had become, he changed up real fast.

he went home that night and listened to the voicemail Penny had left him 'daddy. are you coming to my party, i miss you' it had broke him. he listened to the voicemail over and over again which made him sob for hours. his girl wanted to see him and he failed, he failed her. after hearing her say that she missed him, he knew that he could become a better person and he did.

it had surprised you to see Eddie standing there a week later, dressed casually and he explained to you that he was trying his best and you appreciated that. yes it took a little bit of time before Penny opened up to him again but he was grateful that you had given him the chance to see her, to tell her how sorry he was.

he didn't want to be known as the dad that didn't care because he did. he was grateful that Corroded Coffin had gotten the recognition they deserved, but he wishes some days that they hadn't so none of this would have happened.

he wished that things would go back to how they were when you were all a family, you made time for each other, loved and cared for each other and he was highly at fault. he wasn't showing you or Penny love, care or affection and it was his fault your relationship broke down. that's one of his biggest regrets.

the knock on your front door pulled you out of your thoughts. it was early, 8:32am to be exact, and the only person that you knew was coming round was Eddie. but that wasn't meant to be until later, Penny wasn't even awake yet.

you opened the door and saw Eddie standing there with a small, anxious smile on his face. "i know it's early but i thought it would be nice if we all spent the day together. we could let Penny pick, only if you want to. if you're busy i can come back later when i was meant to-" you shook your head and smiled.

"i think that's a lovely idea" you moved to the side so he could come in. Eddie let you and Penny stay in the house when the two of you broke up, he had some sort of a brain and you were grateful you did stay there. it was filled with beautiful memories and you would hate it if you did have to leave.

"she's not awake yet but she should be soon, she's gonna be really happy to see you" you smiled, Penny couldn't really remember what it was like when Eddie was here but all she wanted was for Eddie to come home so you could be a family again. she wanted to see her dad every day, she wanted him to be here with you and her.

Eddie sat down on the sofa and you sat next to him, keeping a bit of distance. "look i need to talk to you, it’s easier to do it now because she’s not awake" this made your smile drop and anxiety fill your body, he took a deep breath, obviously thinking about how he was going to say whatever he was thinking.

"i'm really sorry for everything i've done these past couple of years. i've been an awful person and i've hurt you both and i'm really grateful you're giving me a second chance to be Penny's dad" he grabbed ahold of your hands and looked into your eyes.

it was like every time you looked into them you were mesmerised, his eyes were one of your favourite things about him and you were happy when you saw Penny had the exact same eyes he did.

"i'm sorry i left and i'm sorry for not being there for you, i'm sorry for not being there for Penny and i hope you know that i have changed and i am never leaving her again. i was honestly the biggest asshole and there is nothing i regret more than how i treated you both, especially you. you've done it all on your own and you've raised her so well. you are an incredible mum" you smiled again, grateful that he was taking accountability for his actions, you were also grateful for the small praise he had said.

getting told you were a good mum always put your mind at ease. there was always the thought of you not doing it correctly but parenting didn't come with a book. you had to figure it out on your own and to get reassurance just made you feel like you were doing it your best and apparently, according to Eddie, you were an incredible mum which you were and he meant every word.

"thank you for saying that ed's" Eddie's cheeks flushed at the nickname, he loved you. he really really loved you and his biggest regret was leaving you for the band. he wished he treated you differently, he wished he could go back in time and talk things out with you and listen to what you had to say, he wished he showed you both the love and affection you deserved but he didn't and he hated himself.

he was brought up by Wayne who had told him to respect women and when he left he knew he was wrong. but he was easily manipulated into doing things even if he didn't want to like the partying, the groupies, the drinking, the drugs and when you do them a few times you get hooked and he couldn't stop.

he done them to be well liked, he done them to fit in with a crowd of people he hated, and now he had finally stopped doing them he felt like himself again. he felt like a person and he could actually hold a conversation without itching for the alcohol or the drugs.

"she's really sweet y/n and thank you for giving me a second chance to be her dad. i can’t describe how much it means to me" you squeezed his hands as a sign or reassurance. the both of you turned to the look at the stairs when you heard Penny was finally awake and walking down them, rubbing her eyes as she tried to wake herself up.

"morning sweetheart" you said as she walked into the living room, she yawned and looked to see both you and Eddie sat next to each other. "daddy" she squealed, she was definitely awake now. she ran to him and jumped into his lap making you pull your hands away so the two of them could hug.

"what are you doing here" she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck. you watched the two of them and your heart melted, it was adorable. "well i missed you so so so much i couldn't stay away. so me, you and mama are spending the whole day together and you get to decide what we do" Eddie ran his hand up and down her back as she cuddle into him.

"really?" her eyes widened and excitement filled her small body. her mum and dad would be spending time with her for the first time in forever, literally. it had been years since you and Eddie had spent a whole day with Penny and honestly you were excited.

she picked up her head from his chest and saw him nod. "what did you want to do then honey?" you asked, there were two obvious places she would pick. either the beach or the zoo, Penny loved the beach but she also loved the zoo so you were sure she would pick one of those.

"please can we go to the zoo? i want to see the giraffes" they were her favourite animals which Eddie actually didn't know. "well, why don't i help you get ready, that means mama can get ready and we will be out the door quicker?" Eddie looked at you and then back at Penny who was smiling widely.

"you still remember how to bath her?" you joked which Eddie only nodded. he remembered but it had been years since he had been this sort of environment. "i'll run her bath, you just have to wash her and wash her hair" with that you left Penny and Eddie downstairs to run her a bath.

"you excited baby?" he pushed her hair out of her face and kissed her cheek, he missed moments like this. she nodded, her dimples showing as she smiled. Eddie was excited to spend the day with the both of you, he hoped that you could act like a family again.

-

"mama, daddy look there's a baby giraffe there" she squealed, Eddie was holding Penny who was pointing to the baby giraffe who had just come outside from the enclosure was with its mum, she was filled with excitement. "yeah honey, it's a baby giraffe. isn't it cute" you stood next to her and stroked her cheek.

"it's so cute" she said, her eyes never leaving the two animals. "what makes them your favourite animal angel?" Eddie turned his attention to look at Penny who was practically mesmerised with the giraffes.

"they are just so cute daddy. oh and mama told me they are friendly" as Eddie listened to Penny talk he realised how much he had actually missed, when he left you Penny could only say a few sentences and most of the time he would be speaking to himself but now he could hold an actual conversation with her.

"that's right. they are friendly" he had absolutely no idea if they were friendly or not but if it made Penny happy knowing they were friendly he'd go along with it. "do you want to go see any other animals Penny? or do you want to stay here for a bit longer" the three of you had been staring at the giraffes for at least thirty minutes.

"can we stay here just for a bit? i just want to look at the baby for a little longer" you looked at Eddie who nodded "yeah we can. but only for a little bit though, we have other animals to see remember" he tickled her tummy making her laugh loudly and fall back into him.

the three of you stood watching the small giraffe run around the huge open field for a few more minutes before you and Eddie heard someone speak to him. "i'm sorry to interrupt you man but my son is the biggest fan of Corroded Coffin, would you mind if he got a picture with you? i know you're with your family but this would mean the world to him"

the two of you turned around as the man spoke and you smiled at his son who looked like he was holding himself back from running to hug Eddie.  he looked no older than 7 with his dad stood next to him and looked mesmerised by Eddie actually being in his presence.

the father held a grey polaroid camera "of course, you don't mind do you?" Eddie turned to let you hold Penny whilst he took a photo. "not at all" you held Penny who was still looking at the giraffes running around the field whilst Eddie knelt down next to the small boy.

"what's your name bud?" you heard him say as he hugged the young fan. "Ozzy" he seemed shy but watching the interaction was adorable. "woah sick name. i assume you're named after Ozzy Osbourne who is my personal favourite"

you turned back to look at the open field and kissed Penny on the cheek, you could hear Eddie talking to Ozzy and his dad. Ozzy and his dad were thanking Eddie for taking the time out of his day to even acknowledge them, let alone have a conversation and take a few photos with them.

"thank you again Eddie, you're amazing" with a quick hug from Ozzy and a handshake from his dad the two of them left to allow Eddie to get back to the two of you.

"he was adorable" you said as Eddie stood next to you. he nodded agreeing, opening his arms so he could take Penny back "yeah he was" he held Penny in his arms and kissed her forehead a few times. she didn't even feel the affection because she was still infatuated with the giraffes.

-

after a long day at the zoo you and Eddie decided it would be best if you went back to yours for dinner which had happened to be one of the best dinners any of you had. it was just the three of you being together, spending time with each other as you ate and talked about anything that came up.

it was nearing Penny's bedtime, spending the whole day with Eddie had made you realise your feelings for him hadn’t gone away. before he left he was an amazing dad, even if he was tired from work he would make the effort to look after Penny whilst you were able to do a few things for yourself and now that he had finally realised what he’d been missing out on he was becoming that amazing dad again.

you hated when you would see the newspapers where Eddie and a random groupie would be on the front cover, white powder on his nose with his already pale skin looking even paler. he just didn’t look like your Eddie and at that point he wasn’t anymore and it broke your heart.

you missed when the two of you would put Penny to bed and would watch her sleep in comfortable silence, she always looked so peaceful when she slept and it was crazy to the two of you that you both created such a beautiful baby, she was utterly perfect.

the three of you were sat on the sofa, Penny asleep whilst laying on top of Eddie who had cuddled her since the minute the three of you got home. “it’s getting late, you want to help me get her ready for bed?” you looked down at Penny who was snoring softly.

he nodded and stood up carefully making sure his grip was tight so she wouldn’t fall. the two of you walked up the stairs, you behind Eddie looking at the sleepy girls drooling on his shoulder.

once the two of you were in her bedroom you picked out her pyjamas and got her dressed, careful to not wake her up out of the peaceful slumber she was in. once she was dressed you laid her down in her bed and pulled the covers over her, tucking her in and with a quick kiss on her forehead you moved out the way so Eddie could say goodnight to her.

this was the first time in three years Eddie had been here to tuck her in and say goodnight. he knelt down to look at her, her curls where all over her face so he gently pushed them back and kissed her cheek, she sighed peacefully and that felt like your queue to leave her to rest.

Eddie didn’t want to leave though, he wanted to stay with the two of you and never leave again but he knew it didn’t work like that. the two of you went downstairs and a comfortable silence filled the space. “so, i guess this is my time to leave” he joked, scratching the back of his back awkwardly.

“you can stay for a bit if you want. maybe it would be good for us to talk?” he looked at you to make sure you were 100% sure and that he was actually hearing you correctly. “i- uhh, are you sure? i can leave if you want” you laughed and shook your head.

“i think it would be good for us to talk” you turned to walk to the living room and sat down on the sofa, knees brought to your chest. you could hear his sock covered feet following you and he sat next to you quickly after.

“we haven’t really had a conversation and i think it’s good for me to tell you now” you were still madly in love with Eddie and spending the little time you had together had made you realise it, you were with him for five years before you broke up and your feelings don’t just vanish into thin air.

he was confused at first, what was there to talk about? “i know you left me and i understand why you did, it was hard for me to get it at first but i do understand. but i do want you to realise that just because you left doesn’t mean my feelings for you just went away” he looked at you feeling guilty about the past.

“i’m not gonna sit here and say what you did was okay because it wasn’t. you hurt me a lot and you hurt your daughter. you had time to go and sleep with whoever you wanted and do whatever you wanted and i had to be strong and look after Penny all by myself. it was hard to see you not make an effort for her and what made it even worse was every time i did see you it hurt me so much because you didn’t even look like yourself” you felt your chin quiver as tears filled your eyes and his eyes glossed over with tears of his own as he listened to you talk.

“i always wanted to help you, i always tried to reach out to help you but i couldn’t get through to you and it hurt me to see you doing the stuff you did and i would see your face everywhere and i was trying to i guess grieve our relationship and i couldn’t. i didn’t want that to be the end of us Eddie because my feelings for you never went away. they never left my body and that’s why it hurt”

you both had a few tears rolling down your cheeks “i need you to know that i do love you, i love you so much Eddie and i can’t help how i feel. i would dream about how we used to be and i missed it, i missed you and if you don’t love me that’s okay i’ll live, but please don’t leave Penny again just because i told you this. she needs you” you sniffled and looked down at your knees, cheeks blushing as you wiped your tears.

“you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting to hear you say that” you looked up at Eddie how’s eyes were bloodshot, tears rolling down his cheeks which a huge smile on his lips, his dimples showing. he moved closer to you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, bringing you into him.

after three years of yearning for his love, his affection you finally felt his lips on yours. the kiss was filled with passion, filled with every ounce of love you had for each other.

“i love you so much” he said between a few small kisses you two shared. “i love you too” you spoke softly into the practically silent house. “i’m never leaving either of you ever again, i promise” he kissed you one more time, the two of you smiled into the kiss, it was like nothing had changed when you kissed each other.

in the space of a two months Eddie had changed for the better. he’d long forgotten the drugs, the alcohol, the groupies. god the words made him feel sick. he changed for you, changed for Penny and now the two of you could continue your life and expand your beautiful family.

[flokali]

post!imposter au where everyone is soooo desperate for your forgiveness. honestly, seeing so many of the genshin impact characters get on their knees and beg and cry for you had a sick and twisted sense of pleasure coursing through your veins.

so imagine telling zhongli that you would give liyue another chance if he became your disposable little sex toy. and the geo archon is already hard beyond belief, many of his fantasies coming to life as you stepped on his hard-on without a trace of shame, harshly rubbing your shoe against it. he comes a fucking lot and you have to punish him somehow once his cum stains your bare skin. he doesn't even remember why he was there in the first place, he just wants you to ride him until his balls are empty or rail him until his hole basically takes the shape of your cock. slap his face, tell him how stupid he is for not being able to recognize you as the real creator as he sobs sorries pathetically under you, coming for the nth time that night.

and imagine how whiney venti would be once he finds out about this. you should be fucking him!! not that boring old man!! please!! and he can act like he's doing it *for the sake of mondstadt* all he likes but you and morax know better. especially when he's humping your leg like a crazed, air-headed dog. he'd honestly be so desperate for you- i mean, your forgiveness, that he'd basically do anything that you ask of him.

alternative idea: everyone recognized you as the creator the moment you arrived in teyvat and months later you started a new custom in which you put hand-picked characters in a giant room and order all the characters to put on a show with each other (imagine all the ships, hehe) until you can eventually choose the best amongst them and add them to your new list of toys.

Warnings: yandere themes, sagau, gn! and dom reader, smut, mentions of cum, sub! venti and zhongli, implications of past mistreatment, jealousy, ask to tag.

Literally speechless at how big brained this concept is, like it’s genuinely god sent. This isn’t particularly long but just know I’m going to think about this everyday until I die.

18+ UTC

Zhongli is immediately intrigued when he hears about a way for you to possibly forgive Liyue and its people, his heart still ached at the memories of your past treatment. He wondered how exactly it was he could possibly make it up to you, he’d be willing to do anything – he had told you so himself – but he never expected your request to be so lewd, nor did he realize how much he would like the sound of it either.

It’s uncharacteristic how fast he replies, even when it comes to you; a contract is a contract and he prides himself in always analyzing each and every single one he, himself, partakes in. Maybe, you tease, it’s because all the blood that normally circulated around his brain flowed straight down into his dick.

He had always been a bit shameful, some habits die hard; even the ones he’s had for thousands of years, even if it includes some from his younger and more, let’s say, aggressive youth. All this to say, Zhongli had always thought of what it’d be like to have sex with his beloved creator.

He doesn’t even remember how or when his clothes were torn off, the normally pristine suit he always wore was sullied with dust as he kneels in front of you, he can’t even remember when his hard on had grown so painful; all he knew was that your feet feel too good rubbing his cock. His face begins to twist into one of unrecognizable pleasure, his normally wise and pristine personality long since crushed under the intense bliss he was feeling in the moment.

It’s funny, you realize, how even when clothed you could feel the way he pulsated with every touch, his face was turning impossibly red as he let himself be toyed with, he couldn’t help the way his breathing began coming out as pathetic pants, you wondered if maybe this was something he’d always wanted; to become someone’s toy.

You doubted the shoes you were wearing were comfortable down there but he didn’t seem to mind as the wet patch in his pants grew in size and dampness, it was pitiful how easily worked up he was. Eventually, you let him take off his pants, which he does in a manner too sloppy to have come from a man such as Zhongli, and you son come face to face with his dick, and maybe it’s the sudden release from its confinement in Zhongli’s trousers, they always did appear to be quite tight, or maybe he had been close to shooting regardless, because soon enough you find splatters of cum in your skin. The pearly liquid is thick as you scoop it out from your arm and it’s not hard to look down at the archon with a questioning look.

You chuckle as you slowly remove your underwear and clothes; “Already coming, Mr Zhongli? I’m afraid you still have an awful lot to make up for…”

The news of your sexual randevouz with the Geo Archon travels quickly through the winds to the eager, and jealous, ears of Barbatos, the deity of Anemo. It’s as such that he immediately requests your presence in his humble region under the pretense of a much needed apology.

That is, until you arrive – soon enough he’s throwing himself at your feet, tears in his eyes as he begs for your forgiveness. Oh, how was he so blind? To hurt you was the last thing he’d ever dreamt of, he can’t even live with himself for what he and his people have done!

With faux tears, and an aching cock, he asks what could he ever do to receive your blessed forgiveness before bringing up what the wind had carried.

The minute you agree he’s back on his knees, desperately humping your clothed legs, he was so grateful for how revealing his Archon outfit was because it only took a few movements until his cock was free and he could excitedly rub himself against your skin.

“I-I just can’t-t believe you’d go to that – oh, ah! Fu~ck! – that old hag first! He’s s-suchgh… a brute with no brain…!”

Venti makes sure not to cum on you nor your clothes, completely and utterly focused on not commuting the heinous crimes his fellow archon had given way to. It’s incredibly hard to part his cock from your body but he makes sure to angle his cum in a way that will ensure your precious skin is clean.

“S-see? ‘M nothing like that- hmm?” You decide to just kiss and shut him up, “Ahh~ My lord, hah, if you wanted to kiss me s-so badly… you could’ve just said so… heh.”

He lets you unrobe him, in fact, he relishes in the way you undress his form; the intimate way you tug and pull at his clothes is so enchanting to him, he’s basically panting by the end.

“Oh no,” he moans, letting you push him on the marble table, “what will you do to me? Don’t tell me you’ll defile~ No! Don’t leave, please! I was just joking, your grace, you know I want you, I want you so bad… just, use my body~ Please?”

By the end of the night, his beautiful voice is but a mere whisper, his throat long since hoarse from screaming and moaning.

“Ha-ah!” Tears swell in his pretty, round eyes, “Ye-esh! Thankyouthankyouthankyou- hghhh…!”

Now, all you have to do is see if Ei will take your offer too.

[maryleclerc]

my love

pairing: matt rempe x mom!reader summary: in which matt show his love toward reader and their son, matthieu y/l/n-rempe. just fluff warning: english is not my native language, this was written base on my imagination so please don't take it seriously, also does not experience in dating any hockey player. i do not any of these, all credits to its owner currently listen to my love by sia

please forgive me for any typo, wrong comments, or anything. i’ll check it in the morning, it’s 2 am while writing this so thank you for reading!! if you need more dad!matt please send through my ask box!!

taglist: add yourself here

yourusername

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yourusername hi to everyone - from Matthieu Y/l/n-Rempe

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user1 Hi you too, Matthieu!!

user2 I’m sobbing, Y/n just name her son Matthieu, also a name of Matthew but in French!! 🥹

user3 Look like a cute family

user4 I’ve waited for so long!!

yourusername

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yourusername Matthieu first game with the New York Rangers. He’s a bit excited to see his dad on ice

tagged: mattrempe, nyrangers

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user1 How cute are this little fam

user2 The first time I met Y/n, and she’s so so nice and friendly. Best WAG EVER!!

mattrempe

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mattrempe This small letter is for my love, Y/n Y/l/n

I really don't know what else to say, I just feel extremely grateful to have had the opportunity to meet Y/n as well as have Y/n become a part of my life, it's even more wonderful that we have an extremely adorable and charming baby boy named Matthieu.

It can be said that the 4 years we spent together was not really perfect, but it can be said that it helped us understand each other more, love and appreciate each other more as well as accept the good and bad sides about each other. And what's even more clear is that I love Y/n more and more every day. I really want to say thank you to Y/n, it's not for any occasion, it's just that today I have a day off so I was thinking, recalling the memories we went through and I suddenly found that Y/n has always been the one who suffered more, basically dating a hockey player was a big disadvantage for her of course there will be people who say that dating a hockey player is their dream, but for Y/n is a different case because I have witnessed the negative comments, judgments, and false rumors about her that have made me think many times that maybe I will have to let her go so she can have a free life, a life that she always wanted, with a normal family, with kids and without being watched by others. But there also times I always want to keep her by my side because Y/n makes me more motivated in matches that don't go as expected. That's why I always feel grateful to her.

Love you very much my love, Y/n

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yourusername You’re so sweet Matt 🥹

user1 Marry her already, make her become a Y/n Rempe already!! I’m begginf youuu

user2 He’s so romantic

user3 I need a man like him in my life and I think there is only this man left in this world, AND HE’S TAKEN

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yourusername People often ask me why I made the decision to have a child with Matt so early, in just 2 years of dating we made the decision to have a child, isn’t such a rush? Only now, after 4 years of dating and having a 2-year-old son together, I decided to give an answer for those who wonder. The decision I made about to have kids with Matt or not was not a difficult decision for me, from the first date until the day we fell in love, Matt was always be the one who treated me so gently, what impressed me the most was that not only was Matt a very careful, and humble person towards me and everyone around him. Sometimes we do have a small arguments, even though I know it's was my fault, but Matt is always the first to say sorry, or at dinner dates Matt always buys me my favorite bouquets of flowers which now always remind me of him, he is also someone that I always feel like I will always be protected when he’s by my side. When Matthieu was born, Matt proved to me and I also feel that Matt will be the father of my children, from now on forever. Sometimes as a first time dad Matt is a bit clumsy, but I always thank him for his efforts every day to be a good boyfriend for me, an exemplary dad for Matthieu, and to give all his love to me and my son.

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mattrempe I’m sobbing and missing you

yourusername Aww 🥹

[jamminlocks]

Just a Wink - pt 2 {Suna x Reader}

Tags: Flirting, flirting strangers, Fluff, Humor, Semi-Canon Compliant, not beta read, still not beta read, reader is a volleyball player, word count: 4322 Summary: You meet the middle blocker from Inarizaki again in the next national tournament and you still have the mischievous streak to have fun. A/N: the tags here and comments from ao3 were motivating and i still had some ideas in mind so i made another part. may add or change some stuff here are there [ao3] 1 ⪻ ꒰ 2 ꒱⪼ 3

•~°~•~°~•~°~•~°~•~°~•~°~•~°~•~°~•~°~•~°~•~°

Your team lost in the finals to Sakura Chuo High. It was a good game, though. The first set was a win for your team. But the next two were won by Sakura Chuo. The last being 23-25. The feeling of defeat comes slowly. You're more relieved that it's over, glad to wipe away the sweat all over your face and to stay dry at the present moment, finally getting the chance to breathe and let your heart beat steady. Competitive as you are, you don’t feel crushed per se. Sad, sure, but not as devastated as some of your teammates seem to be. If anything, what’s has you misty eyed is their sobbing rather than the actual loss. Feeling the pain of all the training, the practices, to only lead you all not crossing the final step to reach the peak. That's what happened last time. Everyone worked so hard to get here. Still you didn’t make it to the top. But that's how it is. Sometimes, you’ve got the ball rolling and it stops at the last moment. 

There’s still pride left in them, you think, that they understand second place is still really good. Some of your teammates will come to that conclusion later. Others, not really. They have their reasons and they're right to believe otherwise. To you, the team has proven that you’ve all come this far. Every other school will see you all as strong opponents for the next nationals. As for you personally, You could say getting up here is a huge confidence boost as a player and you want to play up to here again.

After the game, as you all wipe away the sweat and rehydrate, your captain and half of the team approach you while you drink from your bottle.

“Sorry we made you look bad in such a big game,” your captain starts, saying it with at most exaggerated seriousness that purposely borders on being funny. Paying no mind until one of your middle blockers said, “We promised to do our best after all."

You are confused, raising a brow. Then, they give a half bow to you and apologize in unison, confusing you even more. They were so in sync that it was suspicious, but a soft part of your heart gets the best of you. “Huh? What's this all about?” you exhaustedly cried out to them, worried you scared them at some point into playing better. You are in no position to suddenly have them be like this to you.  

“We said we’d do our best so you can score a date with that one guy from Hyogo,” the team’s second libero states in fake disappointment and the others nod. In an instant, It all clicks.

This is so stupid. “Damn you guys.” You are so done with them. Still you can’t help but laugh out loud. You’re well aware that this is a joke, but the idea that they thought winning nationals will get you a date with an attractive stranger tickles your mind in a way you didn’t think it would and it has you howling in laughter, not caring of passersby or the other team notices. It fills you with pride that, despite the loss, they found humor in it all. Your team laughs along with you and you all banter while readying to leave.

The middle blocker from Hyogo in question, Suna-san, didn't quite leave your mind. After that little chat with him, you did not expect to see him again anytime soon. Most teams don't stay to watch the following days live after they're out of the nationals brackets. Though Inarizaki stayed for another day after they lost, you already assumed they’d be gone the day of the finals. 

There was a part of you that would like to believe they did stay to watch. You already met Suna-san by chance once. Why not a second time? Or even just see other Inarizaki players walking around like before. But it seems they didn’t. You didn’t feel that strange chill when Suna-san had his eyes on you, not before, during or after the match.

However, you’re kind of glad it's likely that he didn’t watch at all. He wished you luck yet you lost. Now that is embarrassing, even when you were playing really well in the match. Therefore, you can move along in peace.

As you walk alongside your teammates, carrying their own respective gym bags, you like to think that the luck Suna-san wished for you will show up at a different time.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Spring came, all of you bid farewell to your seniors and you became a third year yourself. Without your input or by default, the team pretty much chose you as their vice-captain, which is actually much better than being the captain, in your humble opinion. The first years are a handful. They do have a great deal of potential, just guiding in the right direction, and maybe a gentle knuckle to their heads sometimes but they’re mostly fine. 

Oddly for you, some teammates like to gossip in good fun and the little story of you chatting it up with a middle blocker from a powerhouse team gets to the first year players. From what you’ve heard and what the first years were willing to say that they heard, it's not far from what happened. Nonetheless you know that your freshmen, teammates’ active imaginations might have imagined it differently.  Now, they think you're the senior who has the hidden ability to charm attractive boys when in reality it was just a sudden burst of confidence and living in the moment.

Regarding that one guy in question, Suna-san was rarely in your mind unless it was about nationals or the  boys’ side of the nationals. Though the memory of the chat you had with him has been slightly tainted by the fact that more people know about it now and you have to always point out that you really weren’t trying to get it with him– you don’t even know where that assumption came from– whenever the story gets retold, you can still look back at it and feel pleased with yourself that you did not fumble. This is even more so because you winked at him, twice. The first time is the most fun to recall. You don’t know if you could do that again if you end up seeing him in nationals, if you even get there.

And then, the first half of your third year was to your favor. The team does great enough to win your prefecture's Interhigh Preliminaries, setting you to what could probably be the last nationals you'll attend in your school sports career. Perhaps that luck was paying off and you hope it will last you until the end. 

The trip to Tokyo was much like last years, yet the new batch of freshmen brought a new kind of excitement when you got there. Much like the last inter-high tournament, your team waits by the stairs outside of the tokyo gymnasium, under sunnier weather, not to join in the clustered crowd inside. Keeping the team in a good mindset was a job you had with the captain and manager. That's what you were mostly doing. Still, the waiting has you bored and you distract yourself by looking on to the crowd of other players. The teams are a little more lively than they were back in January, it might be because of the brighter, warmer weather. New uniforms also wait alongside your team, new or returning teams from years ago. Plenty of old uniforms from last nationals make their return. They all come with matching banners of their school’s name. You find yourself looking for a particular shade of maroon banners and sports jacket, yet they weren’t there

The tournament brackets are inside the gymnasium, but you have the gut feeling that Inarizaki will be here too. You could do that right now, ask a teammate what team is here for Hyogo. After all, you could also be wrong. However, some of your more teasing members are quick to jump to the conclusion that you're hoping it’s Inarizaki because of, well, a certain someone, rather than assuming you're asking out of genuine curiosity. They’d be right too but you're not really in the mood to feed into their teasing. It's also on the bottom of your list of priorities. So, you spend the rest of the wait checking on your team’s well being while scanning the crowds of colorful volleyball jerseys every now and then to distract yourself.

The thought fades once your team enters the gymnasium and you, along with the rest of the teams present, prepare for the opening ceremony. It was only when you check out the tournament brackets after the ceremony do you see that Inarizaki is present. It’s impressive but no surprise to you or anyone. From what you've gathered, they won't be up to play until much later, same as your team. 

Teams that aren't the first four matches in the main arena of the tournament spend their time being an audience of those matches or wandering around the stadium until it is their turn. That's what your team has been up to. Everyone is in high energy and high spirits, so most of your teammates are walking around either watching the games or checking out the stalls for souvenirs. Some opted out to just sit and preserve their energy for the match, leaving them as the guard of everyone else's bags.

You are one of those that decided to walk around. The excitement was getting to you a bit and you practically could not sit still. Your manager suggests you come along with her, figuring mayhaps getting on your feet will shake it out. She was just going to the vending machines and didn't want to go alone. You join her after snagging money from a pocket of your bag, thinking you could use a box of milk, actually. If they have milk, that is. 

As you walk together, other bright uniforms pass you. You briefly watch the match from each court as you move. The squeaks of rubber shoes on concrete, shuffling feet, the impact of volleyballs on hands and arms, players shouting, audience cheering and playing their teams' cheer music, it all mixes and blends into the festive and energetic atmosphere nationals is known for. You finally reach the hall leading to the exit of the ground floor. It is where some of the vending machines are lined up. From what you can remember, most of them are on the other side, near the entrance.

“Shit”, your manager hisses as she hastily pads her pockets. Concerned but already understanding where this is going, you ask anyway. “What’s wrong?” 

“I forgot my wallet.” As you thought. She then hands you her clipboard, and jogs off to the direction where you both came from. “I’ll be right back,” She called out, leaving you standing alone. You sigh, defeated yet humored. She bought her clipboard with her but not the money to buy anything. 

After watching her disappear from the corner, you scan the options presented to you by the vending machine in front of you. Juices, soft drinks, canned coffees– maybe you’ll get one later– water, no milk. You walk to the next one and it's the same. The one after that is not even drinks. It's cup noodles and is also tempting. You keep walking and hear footsteps of other people but you pay no mind as you read. Probably other players anyway. It was on the third to the last one, a white vending machine like the beverage it is encasing. The milk is packed in small cartons that you find adorable since you were a child. There's the milk you usually drink and other varieties. It had you thinking

Should you buy the usual or be a bit adventurous and get the flavor you haven’t tried before? The pros of the latter is you enjoying milk and having another kind of milk to like. The cons being you might get an upset stomach right before a game or during the game for suddenly trying something new. However, you may regret it if you don’t give it a try.  

Before you make up your mind, you sense it again, the feeling of being watched. Turning to the corner where you last saw your manager, she is still nowhere to be seen. Has she found her wallet and is on her way or still shuffling her bag? You huff impatiently, looking back at the milk cartons behind the vending machine’s glass. Maybe you should just buy your usual plain milk.

After making up your mind, you take the money out of your pocket, slipping the clipboard under your arm. Then, you feel it again, someone's eyes on you. This time, It's different. It’s specific, familiar. It’s the same to the one back in January, that chill. Your awareness heightens. Looking back again, there are other people walking. You half-hope that you would see him. Not because you want to, wanting to be right that it is the same chill as back then. But after scanning the passersby, specifically any person in a volleyball uniform, there wasn’t a single black jersey. It’s somehow disappointing.

Sifting through the money in your hand, there's plenty of 10 yen coins, some 50 yen too. What you need is 100 yen. As you count, someone walks up and stands at a distance from you. 

Unsure if they were waiting for their turn to buy, you took a quick glance, noticing maroon cloth. From the corner of your eye, there you see him, Suna-san of Inarizaki's Volleyball team standing in front of the vending machines, staring at the rows of featured bottles, right beside you. His phone with a bright screen on one hand. The other is in the pocket of his jacket.

Your gut is telling you to say 'hi', like he’s already your friend. Winking at and talking to someone once from a few months ago does not count as friendship. Still pretending to be preoccupied, you observe him. It seems, like you, Suna-san came without a beverage in mind, scanning the selection of drinks behind each glass. He makes careful strides forward while his attention is on the side, not in a hurry. You played with the coins between your fingers. Should you talk to him? Shifting your stance to the other foot. The distance between you gets closer and he stops just far enough for him to notice. You're already here, might as well have your fun again. 

“Hey,” you greet, a little playful at the tail end.

From his focus on the vending machine, his head pirks up, turning to you. Those feline-like eyes are on you again, less unintentionally threatening this time. Just like before, they gape open in mild surprise then they droop back. He smirks at you.

"Hey," Suna-san echoes with the same voice as he did back then–  low, cool, lazy, like having recently woken up. He doesn't appear to have changed much from the last time you saw him. Still having the same haircut. You wager he grew a cm or soThere is a glint in his gaze you can't quite put your finger on. “You made it.”

You softly laugh at his comment. Was he expecting to see you at Nationals? "Yeah. I'm surprised too.”

"Your team did win second place in the last tournament," Suna-san points out. Hearing it from him sounds like a bigger deal. Well, he didn't have to tell you that, tooting your horn for you. He follows up with, "congrats, by the way."

Although smiling in thanks, you try not getting it too big. You said, "don't say that yet, that was the last time. We haven't played our first match today." Your attention is split between the vending machine and talking to him. There is a pause as you do.

“How was it,” he asked. A vague question. It pulls you out from choosing a drink. 

Turning to him, you say, “you mean the finals?” It's still clear to you the feelings during the match, the rush, the exhaustion, the thrill. “Even though we lost, it was great. Manage to score a lot too,” recalling scoring a spike in one particularly long rally. The frustration in the Sakura Chau player's faces still brings you satisfaction. “I wanna get up there again. And, well, actually win.”

He nods. Likely understanding your sentiment. Inarizaki did get to the finals last year. However, losing Itachiyama. He would definitely know what you mean. Suna-san pointing with his phone has you looking down on your torso, "you're the vice-captain now, huh?” it made sense that he is referring to your jersey number.

You shrug one shoulder nonchalantly, though there is still pride in your voice, "yup." 

He slides his phone into one of the jacket’s pockets. "How's that going for you?"

"Better than I thought. I’m not the one holding the sign, standing front all the time, nor the one doing all the talking for the team when the sports media has questions,” you said with a grin. A grin of someone who has tactically dodged a bullet. “Most of the time, all I do is keep the team in good shape and rally them up when they’re too energetic."

Suna-san’s head tilted up slightly. “You’re not overshadowed by your first years, are you?”, a subtle challenge. Not out of doubt, more like tempting a cat with a stick out of curiosity. You take it, though, just to play along. 

“HAH! No.” you assert. “They work hard and play well, but I won’t let myself fall behind, even if the team’s winning a game.” A humble brag, really, one that you're willing to make. To your surprise, the expression of his eyes changes to something you can only assume being pleased at your answer. “And you, Suna-san?” Throwing the question to him, crossing your arms, expecting to be impressed. “I heard that the twins are quite a menace in court.” 

Suna-san lets out a light, humored scoff, glancing to the side. “Compared to our old captain and vice-captain, they are. But, they’re-” he trails off a little, thinking of what word to use for them. “…manageable.” You nearly burst out a laugh.

It's time for you to lightly challenge him. “That's not stopping you from playing well, does it”

Only Suna-san’s gaze of his sharp eyes returns to you. His irises are in shades of murky yellow complemented by the light of the vending machine. They stay on you as his stance shifts- straight posture yet laid back- in brief seconds of finger twitching anticipation. 

 “No”, he said, calm and cool, a simple answer delivered in unwavering, unobvious confidence. There’s nothing for you to deny and you don't try. Impressive, very impressive.

It's cut short when you realize Suna-san hasn’t been choosing anything from the vending machines. Were you making him wait? You sway a hand to the display. "Do you wanna buy something? I'll get it for you if you want."

“You first,” he insisted. Both of you choose in silence for your beverage. Returning back to your self debate, the usual or something new? Scheming uppermost row, a carton of chocolate milk you always wanted to try but always put off. Given the situation, you are feeling adventurous today.

After selecting the chocolate milk, the payment was inserted and the machine began processing it. “Chocolate, huh?” Suna-san said, somewhat impling if it's a favorite of yours. 

“Never got to try it. I heard it's good, though.”

Taking the cold carton out of the opening, you ask the other player, “So, which is it?” Wanting to follow through your offer to do it for him. A finger hovers over the buttons in preparation.

“Same as yours, actually” A stretched out arm hands you his money. You find it nice you're both drinking the same thing.

As you punch in his request, Another person approaches behind Suna-san, also a member of Inarizaki’s team. Speaking of one of the devils, a Miya, wearing number 2 as well. You were about to tell Suna-san of him. But the moment he sees you, the guy quickly makes a 180 degree turn– somehow not squeaking his shoes– and rushes back where he came from. Whether you scared him off or he had to go back for his own reasons is beyond you. You leave it be. If had something to say to his teammate, he wouldn’t have left. You insert the coins for the machine to process.

Mere second after Miya left, your manager came running from the other side. “SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! IT GOT LOST IN MY BAG!” She stops beside you, huffing and a sweaty forehead. Seeing the middle blocker, then at you, She smiles wide.

“Oh!” she said, the suggestive tune goes unhidden. It takes one particular look from you to convey that your warning her to not start anything. “This is Suna-san. He’s a player for Inarizaki. Suna-san, she’s one of our managers,” you said.

She greets him well and he politely responds, beginning with small talk. You don’t participate, letting them be and listening in. Suna-san makes your manager look lively in comparison to him. He is very nice to her and you can't really blame him. The manager has that effect on everyone. 

You don’t let yourself gleefully observe the interaction for too long, nearly forgetting his drink. No one noticed it has dropped, so you took it out of the machine. The pen attached to the clipboard you’ve been holding fell and you picked that up too. Holding the pen, an idea pops up. You wipe the moisture of the box with the hem of your jersey and write something on an area of the box where the letters can fit in.

After you are done, you pat your manager’s shoulder. “Hey, buy something already,” gladly reminded her of why she had to run back for money. She does, moving to the different vending machine, leaving you and Suna to talk again. You handed him the chocolate milk carton. He hasn’t noticed yet.

“When’s your match?” you questioned. 

“Don’t know. Haven’t asked our captain yet.” there’s a spark of interest in his eyes. “Are you gonna watch us?”

“I’d like to, honestly. I didn’t get to see much last year.” your manager is still choosing, but you know you're running out of time. So, you’ll slip in one more, little, not-so-consequential challenge to him.

As you take the provided straw and carefully tear off its plastic, you ask, “Do you think you’ll win today's game?”

Suna-san sees it too, that you're playing with fire with light touches. 

He indulges you, “Yeah. We will.” a hand slips to his pocket phone to take it out.

“You?” the same question from earlier, mixed with a serious note by an accompanied raise brow.

“I’d like to think we will, just like last tournament,” you said while you inserted the straw. “Plus, I believe I still have the luck you wished for me last time, but… “stopping to take a sip of the milk. It's sweet and creamy, the chocolate comes a little late.

You return your attention  to Suna. his eyes' impression changed in a blink to something so close to…enticing. Chillingly so, It's almost flustering. However, you’re not backing down in whatever this is happening between the two of you. 

Cocking your head to the side, you coyly say “you’ll still wish me luck, won’t you?” 

A short, quiet and breathy laugh escapes his lips. There’s a new warmth in his eyes too.

“Good luck.” such few words, given in cool, yet sincere confidence. The luck he wishes you may as well be tangible.

Just when you were about to speak, your manager held you by your elbow. Her other hand was holding her bottled drink. “C’mon let's head back.”

You turn to her, not without you grinning back at him, “See you again, Suna-san.” Taking the tip of the straw between your teeth. 

You bid him your farewell with a drown out gaze long enough to feel captivating. Then, you give him a gentle wink before you head off. 

After your manager waves him a goodbye, you and her walk off as you take sips again. No words were exchanged until turning to the corner, where boys were out of sight.

“At it again, are we? Don’t you think it’s a bit too early for you to be flirting with boys?

You don’t really like how she puts it. To you, a little bit of teasing back there doesn’t count as full blown flirting.

“It’s nothing like that.”

“Hehe, once the other’s hears about this–”

“Haha, Don’t” you cut her off with a threatening smile. She cheekily smiles back and rolls her eyes. Not pushing it. Likely understanding that you’ve grown tired of the boy charmer jokes about you.

Navigating through the busy halls of the gymnasium, you drink. It tastes a lot better now, more of the chocolate flavor dancing around. You wonder if you overdid it by the end, that you may have had too much fun. Such a shame you did not see his full reaction. The most you got was seeing Suna-san’s expression slightly falter with a smirk from your periphery. You suppose that will be enough proof you got to him somehow.

With each passing sip, the chocolate milk becomes sweeter from your own satisfaction.

•~•~•~•~•~•

As Suna inserts the straw that comes with the box, he sees something written with pen’s ink

‘Good luck in your matches,’ signed with the kanji of your name.

He lets out a gratified sigh to himself. Your wink is still replaying in his mind.

“Damn it.”

•~°~•~°~•~°~•~°~•~°~•~°~•~°~•~°~•~°~•~°~•~°

A/N: jokes on me, guess i can post another fic before the year ends lol I sorta feel bad that their interaction took 2k words to happen lucky for everyone, there is a next chapter! i can hardly wait to finish writing it hahaha happy holidays everyone!!

[bibbityboppitybillyharvgrove]

Always There - Chapter Eighteen - S.Snape

Summary: Y/N Potter was left with a baby to care for after her brother and sister-in-law were murdered by Voldemort. One person was there for her, a person she didn’t expect but soon became her comfort person, Severus Snape. During Harry’s third year at Hogwarts and her third year as Herbology professor, a few old friends come around again. Y/N has to handle the feelings of these old friends being around again as well as handle her feelings for a certain potions master all while she tries to hide these things from her godson.

Series Masterlist

My full Masterlist

Pairings: Severus Snape x Female Professor Reader, Potter!Reader x friend!Remus, Sister!Reader x James Potter, Potter!Reader x Friend!Sirius

Chapter Warnings: Female Reader, Potter Reader(No physical description of reader) probably shitty writing, Harry growing up in a loving home, mentions of Voldemort, Bellatrix Lestrange, Sirius' Death, Umbridge, Death, not proofread,

Series Warnings: Female Reader, Potter Reader (No physical description of reader) probably shitty writing, OOC Snape, Harry grows up in a loving environment, mentions of death and murder, poorly written angst, Remus is a shitty friend, poorly written pining,

Please let me know how I can improve my writing and being more inclusive to POC as I am whiter than white. Please also let me know if I have to add more to the warnings! My messages are open as well as my asks!

I am starting a taglist so leave either a comment or something in my asks if you would like to be tagged in any of my works or just this series!

Author's Note: It's been awhile but I'm back! I'm finally getting out of my writing slump! I was half asleep writing this but enjoy! Let me know if there are ANY errors!

Please let me know how I can improve or if you find any errors! Correct me, don't be afraid to! I want to improve my writing and become a better writer so any feedback or advise is welcomed!

Word Count: 1183

dividers are @firefly-graphics

My asks are open for questions, suggestions and feedback!

Feedback is welcomed and encouraged!

Enjoy!

It was a few days later meaning that it was Christmas. Arthur had been released from Saint Mungo’s and everyone was packing in at the Black house. There was almost no space around the house for everyone, the kids hiding out in Harry’s room, the twins spending most of their time in the kitchen with Severus talking about new recipes, Y/N spending her time in the living room with Remus and Sirius and the rest of the Weasley clan was doting on Arthur since his return.

Christmas came and went, as did the New Year, time felt like it was flying. Everyone was back at Hogwarts, getting ready for the start of the new term. Y/N getting her lectures and plants ready for her upcoming lessons and Severus getting his lectures and ingredients ready for his upcoming lessons. On top of his lessons he was also doing private occlumency lessons with Harry, trying to get him to close his mind to Voldemort. However, instead, Harry got a look inside of Severus’ memories. Memories that he tended to hide from himself and future wife, memories of his tormentors from Hogwarts.

“Get out,” Severus said lowly after Harry had entered his mind.

“I never knew my dad was that horrible to you Uncle Sev,” Harry admitted.

“Just please get out,” The man practically begged, “I just need a minute, okay?”

“I’m sorry.”

So Harry did as his uncle requested, he left the room and gave him the space he needed. The boy waited outside the door until Severus opened it and motioned the boy to come back in. They tried again and again but every time Severus was able to get into Harry’s mind. His memories still filled with his aunt and his friends. Happy memories had overtaken the not so happy ones. Harry had managed to get into Severus’s head once more, this time it was a flash of his Aunt’s smiling face, him as a baby in his aunt’s arms, his aunt hysterically sobbing with a crying Harry in her arms, his aunt as a teenager with a bright smile on her face. 

He wasn’t surprised to see his aunt in Severus’ memory, she was about to get married to the man but he wasn’t expecting to see the memory of his aunt sobbing with him as a baby on his uncle’s doorstep. “Uncle Sev, that memory of Aunt Y/N crying with me as a baby, how old was I?” He asked innocently.

“You were 1, she had a rough day, it was your father’s birthday, the first birthday after his death,” Severus told him, “She came to my house because you wouldn’t stop crying and she couldn’t stop crying. She needed a break for a little while just to breathe so I took you for a bit to give her room.”

“Thank you for taking care of us.”

“Of course, my boy. Off to bed, we’ll continue tomorrow.”

The term passed with little to no issue other than decree after decree, that was until Umbridge caught wind of the DA in the room of requirement. Her and her little gang of snitches found their way to the room, blowing their way through with magic. Every single student in the DA had received an Umbridge special detention. The professors first heard about Albus escaping with Fawkes and then about the mass detention given to the students. 

Her heart raced as she tried to find her nephew after the detention let out, but she couldn’t find him. “Shit!” She cursed aloud before remembering the map. She ran to her office where she kept the map stored after Harry used it to spy on her and Severus. “I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good!” She rushed out to the map. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. That feeling was correct because of her nephew’s name with Hermione, Ron, Umbridge and her inquisitorial squad in the dreaded toad’s office. “Mischief managed.” She shoved the map back into the desk drawer before running to Umbridge’s office. 

She arrived right after Severus did, huffing and puffing as she saw Harry being held still by one of the other students, her mind racing and not registering who it was. “He’s got Padfoot at the place where it's hidden!” Harry yelled out.

Her heart dropped once more, keeping her emotions in tact but keeping a sharp eye on her nephew. “Harry, you know you are not supposed to come in here! How dare you break into a professor’s office,” She lightly scolded the boy, he knew just by her tone that she was not upset. “Professor, go easy on them please. Harry just had a bad dream is all, they were just trying to make him feel better, right?”

“Yes ma’am,” Ron and Hermione said in unison.

“If you say so, professor. I will take care of these three.”

Y/N grabbed Severus’ hand, the couple walked out calmly before breaking out into a sprint to get to a piece of parchment, a quill and an owl. “I will head over there, send a message to the order! Be safe, I love you!” She rushed out, planting a firm but sloppy kiss to his lips before running off. Severus quickly wrote off a letter, notifying the order and the ministry of what was happening at the ministry. 

Y/N had found a working floo network, flooing into 12 Grimmauld place. To her surprise, she found Sirius and Remus making out on the couch. She awkwardly cleared her throat alerting the couple to her presence.

“Holy shit!” Sirius shouted in surprise as he threw Remus off of him and onto the floor.

“That hurt! Merlin Sirius! It’s just Y/-Wait what are you doing here? Why do you have that look on your face like something’s wrong?” Remus noticed the expression she was wearing.

“Because I think Voldemort realized the connection and used it against Harry. We need to get to the ministry before the kids get hurt! Sev already sent a letter to the rest of the order, let’s just go please!” She rushed out. The two men scrambled to get up, following her out of the house so they can apparate together. By the time they got there, Harry was surrounded by death eaters, his friends being held by even more death eaters.

“Get away from my nephew you greasy haired fuck!” She shouted at Lucius, blasting a basic cast at him.

She was then targeted by Bellatrix Lestrange, spells getting thrown at her left and right. “Expelliarmus!” She shouted, pointing her wand at the frizzy haired woman. Bellatrix protected herself from the spell before throwing one of her own.

“Crucio!” A green burst of light flew at her, getting reflected by the protego spell. The woman death eater disappeared before apparating onto a rock, throwing the killing curse at Sirius, hitting the man straight in the heart. 

“No!” She screamed, watching as her best friend fell backwards into Veil. She had watched another brother die all over again.

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@acupnoodle @chxelsxaa @fluffyrat365 @fanficwriter5 @atanukileaf @jspidey5 @mija-novella @leo4242564 @crazyunsexycool @livillain00 @bigsimperika @nopedefe

[justauthoring]

the bond - chapter fourteen.

*bond: a relationship between people or groups based on shared feelings, interests, or experiences.

word count: 5909

based off of: 3x08, 3x09, & 3x10

a/n: ummm so kenny? pt. 2?

tag list: @ernyaeger - @luvelyxp - @urfictional - @decaffeinatedtealover - @ange-lica-3 - @midzuumi - @leiriswhore - @urfictional - @frasheliza - @echothy​ - @usernamehere91​ - @happygirl5798​ - @dwarfnip​ - @hegdus - @cheoriemoawa - @snapdragon-atelier - @fckwritersblock let me know if you’d like to be added!

You stare at the collapsing cavern in front of you, back pressing into the wall behind you because of the force of wind being smacked in your direction. It feels like it’s slapping you, forcing you back as your eyes shift across the cavern, trying to find some sort of escape room.

You can’t see anything.

Not anything that’ll help you escape at least.

To your side, Historia presses against you, and you let out a huff of frustration at the situation.

“We need to figure out something,” you cry, staring at the pieces of falling debris; “or else we’re gonna get crushed under the rumble.”

No one says anything because there are no solutions–not any viable ones at least. No one says anything because they can’t argue against your words either. You might’ve been able to rescue Eren and Historia, but that still didn’t help with the actual escaping part now that Rod Reiss had transformed and there was still the threat of Kenny’s men.

Kenny…

Had he made it out okay?

Did you care?

You weren’t sure.

A sob pulls you from your thoughts, brows furrowing as you glance down at Eren who’s slumped against the wall, noticing the tears streaming down his face.

“I’m sorry, everyone,” he sobs pathetically, hands left hanging by his sides uselessly. “I’ve been nothing but useless… ever since the very beginning, I was never the hope of humanity…”

No one says anything. A second later, something catches Eren’s eyes.

“Armor?”

“What’s this?” Jean speaks up, your eyes flickering to him as he smirks down at Eren. “Think you’re some tragic hero? When have you ever accomplished anything by your strength alone?”

Connie is quick to follow his lead; “what a weakling,” he jests, “we’ve been through worse than this.”

“Far worse,” you pipe up, pulling Eren’s gaze on you as you meet his, smiling down at him. “I’d say, at least.”

“Not that I wanna get used to it!” Sasha adds and you let out a light laugh at that.

“Still,” Connie mumbles, glancing ahead; “it’s going to suck trying to navigate through all that.”

Following the direction of his gaze, you scoff; “you’re telling me.”

“I’ll take Eren,” Mikasa calls from over your shoulder.

Jean then leans towards Historia, frowning; “we can’t go nice and slow for you, so hold on for your life.”

A moment later, she’s nodding.

“It’s useless,” Eren mumbles, staring at you like you’ve all gone insane. “We can’t escape.”

“So do nothing?” Historia argues, glaring down at him. “You wanna sit here and hold hands til we’re crushed or burned to death? Because we’re enemies of humanity?”

Eren’s eyes widen.

“You know,” Levi speaks up, voice low. “I hate doing this to you every time, but… Eren. you’ve gotta make the choice.”

You’re not sure what it means, but it seems to be enough for Eren. The look of surprise on his face fades as his gaze hardens and determination floods his gaze. With a blink of the eye, he’s standing up, grabbing the armor vial you’d brought with you and lunging forward, right in the direction of Rod Reiss.

“Eren!” Mikasa cries, reaching out for him but he’s already too far gone.

In the next second there’s a bright light that blinds you, your hands falling in front of your gaze as you lean back, trying to squint through. As the fog fades and lessens, you see it–it’s the Attack Titan! And not some frail or broken version of Eren’s Titan, he’s completely transformed and there’s that hardening stuff that had swarmed you all seconds ago coming out of him, spreading around the entirety of the cavern in long vines.

“What the…”

“Everyone!” Levi bellows, “get underneath Eren!”

No one hesitates, and moving so you’re directly standing underneath Eren, you watch as the vines he sends out protects you from the pieces of debris falling around you all. It creates a wall, and as the entire chapel breaks and falls apart over top of you, none of you get hit.

Trying to peer through the smoke surrounding you, your eyes widen.

“Guys!” You scream, pointing ahead of yourself, “Eren! He’s hardening too!”

Your eyes meet Mikasa and with a gasp, she lunges forward, Jean following her as they’re the two closest. They use their ODM gear to reach his nape, using the handles of their blades to break him out.

Once he’s completely out, Jean and Mikasa help lower him down.

“This is what I call hardening,” Levi calls, staring at the hardened Attack Titan Eren had left behind, completely intact. “Even after cutting you away, the Titan hasn’t disappeared. Pretty impressive, yeah?”

Eren just stares, as if in disbelief himself, before he blinks; “oh, yeah! Right before I turned into a Titan, I drank that “Armor” bottle…”

“Yeah,” Levi nods, stepping towards him. “You couldn’t do it at all before now, but you used the hardening power. And saved all of us. In the blink of an eye, you devised and built all this. Yeah, the construction looks shoddy, but… I bet that’s how the walls were made, too. In other words…”

Your eyes widen, shoulders tensing.

“It’s possible for us to plug that hole in Wall Maria now.”

You could… you could go back home…

“A lot of enemies and allies have died on the way,” Levi explains, “and getting this far hasn’t been pretty. But for as ugly as it’s been, look at the position we’re in now.”

Biting your lip, you glance up, eyes widening when you see Jean’s eyes on you. It’s like he’d been watching you the entire time, gauging your reaction and it makes your heart flutter at the action – he’d been the only one you’d really expressed just how much plugging that hole in Maria meant. How much going back meant to you. 

And even in the midst of everything, it seemed you’d been his first thought.

Your lips part, but then–

“Captain!”

You turn at the sound of Sasha’s voice, watching as Connie and Sasha make their way back down the rope they’d used to climb out.

“We’ve secured an exit!” Sasha explains, landing on her feet before turning to make her way over to you all, Connie behind her.

“Armin’s okay.” Connie assures, “Hange and Moblit too.”

“Well done,” Levi nods back at them.

“Eren,” Sasha calls, racing towards him. 

“You okay?” Eren asks in return, leaning in the direction of her.

All of sudden, Sasha falls to her knees in front of Eren, pressing her forehead to the floor; “we’re all safe, thanks to you!” You smile at that, shaking your head at her antics. 

“But to be perfectly honest, when you ran off prancing while crying like a baby… I thought we were doomed!”

Shaking your head, you step forward.

“Sasha,” you call out, frowning lightly.

“‘It’s over, over!’” She continues, simply ignoring you, “‘Get it together, nincompoop! Quit bawling like a snotty-nosed brat!’ is what I thought.”

Levi steps towards her, “hey,” he calls, “let’s go. We’re going after that big-ass Titan.”

-

Despite yours and everyone else attempts to argue in favour, Historia readily accepts her role as Queen. She’s thankful for you all standing up for her, but she knows what is expected of her and she understands the consequences if she denies it.

All she has is one last condition–that she be allowed to fight alongside you all as a Scout one last time.

So, here you are, preparing for the battle that Commander Erwin has set up, fighting alongside your comrades and those you’ve grown to care for as a family with the hopes that the gamble is a success.

If it isn’t, then hundreds of innocent lives will be lost.

Splashing some water on your face, you try to stay focused, ignoring the millions of thoughts running through your mind.

“Y/N.”

Brows furrowing, you straighten out, head turning to the left and frowning when you see Jean facing you.

You’d been grouped off with him, Sasha, and Connie, with Levi leading your section, so it isn’t really a surprise he’s here. What is a surprise is that he wants to talk to you… the two of you have been steadily avoiding each other, despite being in close contact, since you’d confessed your feelings for him. You didn’t blame him; you’d avoided him just as much as he had and honestly, you weren’t ever sure if things would go back to the way they were.

You doubted it. Even if the two of you managed to settle things, your heart would still hurt every time you looked at him. It wasn’t his fault, that you knew. If anything, it was your fault for letting your emotions get the better of you even if you’d known how wrong it would’ve been if you did so. 

In all honesty, this was all your fault. Your fault for being stupid, for being emotional, for letting yourself think that something like a relationship was possible in the world you lived in. It wasn’t just the Titans, it was your life–who you were. You’d grown up alone, you had no friends… it was a miracle you’d managed to make the comrades you had in the past few years. 

And you’d ruined one of the most important ones because of your feelings.

Meeting his gaze, you swallow thickly; “yes?”

“I…” His lips part to say more, eyes wide and a light flush across his cheeks, but even as he stands there, no words manage to escape him.

Letting your hands fall, you sigh. It was unfair of you to punish him when he’d done nothing wrong – if he didn’t like you in that way, that was just a fact you’d have to come to understand.  “It’s okay, Jean,” you whisper, ignoring the way your heart twists painfully in your chest. “I understand.”

He blinks, shocked because he hadn’t said anything, shaking his head; “but–”

“I shouldn’t have let my feelings get in the way, anyways,” you explain, shaking your head as you step towards him. “It was silly and unprofessional of me. I’m sorry I put you in such a tight spot in the first place.”

“Y/N–”

A loud thud echoes, shaking the ground beneath you and your head turns in the direction of Rod Reiss’ Titan, noting that he’s shortening the distance.

Turning back to Jean, you smile lightly though it doesn’t meet your eyes; “we should get ready.”

And with that you walk past him, moving towards Levi, Connie and Sasha who are standing a few feet away from you. You don't notice Jean’s gaze follow your own, a deep frown on his lips as he curses himself mentally.

Why couldn’t he just say it?

-

Eren is successful. You feel the heat of the blast as he sends the explosives directly into Rod Reiss’ mouth, sending his body in chunks into multiple different directions.

Commander Erwin’s order comes seconds later; ‘find the nape and kill it’ and without hesitation, everyone jumps into action, making their way towards Rod Reiss’ body, slicing through the pieces of his body that fly before you.

The desperation bleeds in, trying to find his nape. You hear Jean call out towards Connie in frustration, and your eyes meet Sasha’s briefly as you both slice through the chunks that come soaring towards you with no luck.

And then a flash of blond zooms past you, and before you know it, an explosion echoes, Historia having successfully sliced through the nape of her father–effectively killing him.

She’d… she’d done it.

-

“Hold on… you’re seriously doing it, Historia?”

“Yeah, I am.”

Raising a brow, you glance at Historia.

“Mikasa was just joking,” Eren argues, the desperation bleeding into his tone as he walks beside the girl, trying to get her to listen to reason. “Right, Mikasa?” His gaze shifts to Mikasa who, as usual, is walking next to him, confident that she’ll give reason.

“After you smack him, tell him this… ‘I dare you to hit me back’.”

But of course, Mikasa has always had a personal vendetta against the Captain since the moment he beat up Eren when he was on trial – so, as you expected, she doesn’t listen to reason. Or help Historia to either.

“Damn you…!” Eren curses.

Poking through the space between Jean and Historia, you set your hand on Historia, squeezing it reassuringly; “I personally think this is a wonderful idea,” you grin, despite yourself. It wasn’t often you all got to have a bit of fun and especially recently. Sure, it could end horribly but you doubted Levi would act the way Eren was so afraid he would – if there was one thing you’ve come to learn about the Captain is his grumpy personality was nothing more than just a front. Besides… “Eren’s just afraid of the Captain,” you eyes, eyes shifting as you stick your tongue out at him.

Eren just stares wide-eyed back at you; “aren’t you?!” Then, turning back to Historia, he shakes his head. “If it’s not a real grudge, just forget about it.”

“If I can’t do this, how can I call myself Queen?”

Nodding to yourself, you find you like Historia’s reasoning.

“Hell yeah, Historia,” Jean cheers from beside you, and you send a quick glance his way before averting your gaze. “That’s the spirit!”

Historia lets out a gasp, eyes falling ahead of her, and you follow her gaze, eyes widening when you see it’s Levi himself. He walks forward when he notices the group of you, moving to stand in front of you, and slowly, Historia steps forward, shoulders tensing as nervous gasps leave her lips. You wait in bated breath, now not so sure with the man standing directly in front of you.

How would Levi actually respond?

After a moment longer, Historia suddenly lets out a cry, racing forward and swinging her arm back before punching Levi directly in his arm. In retrospect, the punch doesn’t look all that painful, still, your chest tightens with worry as Sasha and Connie grab onto you in panic and you all watch, waiting to see Levi’s reaction.

“How’d you like that?!” Historia cries, giggling maniacally, “I’m the Queen! If you got a problem–”

But then, Levi does the unthinkable,

He laughs.

A short, simple chuckle.

Still– 

Then, slowly, he raises his head, a soft smile on his lips; “thank you… all of you.”

Eyes widening, you feel yourself relaxed, an ease watching over you as you register the sincerity in his gaze, drifting across all of you. You’re unable to stop the smile that curls onto your lips in response, a sense of pride at being able to not only succeed but make Levi proud as well.

-

You’re just about to make your way towards Sasha and Mikasa when he calls out for you.

“Y/N.”

And your brows furrowed in confusion, Levi being the last one you expected to call for you. You pause, trying to think if you’d done something that he would want to speak to you about but nothing comes to mind–it surely can’t be because of what had happened in the Chapel, could it? He hadn’t seemed all that frustrated with you after the incident….

A quick glance at Levi’s face and he doesn’t seem mad–so, no, it can’t be that.

Swallowing back the nerves flooding through you, you step towards him, tilting your head in confusion at him; “Captain?”

“Do you have a minute?” He asks, glancing past you, and you follow his gaze, noticing the way Sasha is frowning at you, eyes dancing with wonder, a hard look from Mikasa who’s standing next to her at Levi. You just shake your head at them briefly, before turning back to Levi.

“Yes, Captain,” you assure, clasping your hands behind your back as you meet his gaze. “Is… is everything alright?”

He sighs at that, only further concerning you as he shifts, inhaling sharply before he finally speaks. “Right after the battle with Rod Reiss’ Titan, a Scout informed me that they’d found a sighting of Kenny Ackerman just south of where the Chapel had been. He’d been the sole survivor of his friends, the rest of them all having been crushed under the rubble.”

Lips parting, you stare back at him.

Why was he…–

“Turns out Kenny Ackerman is my uncle.” 

Blinking, your eyes widen.

You weren’t expecting that, to put it bluntly–then again, you weren’t expecting any of this.

Levi stares back at you, letting his eyes drift across you before he continues; “my full name is Levi Ackerman.”

It’s shocking to say the least. 

But what shocks you more is the fact that Levi is telling you.

You’re just a cadet on his team. One of the many brats he’d been forced to deal with over the past few weeks and although Levi was hard around the edges, you knew he cared about you all in his own way–but that’s just it. He cared about you all, and it wasn’t like you’d grown particularly close to your Captain in any meaning of the word so why had he pulled you aside to tell you this himself?

Something so personal to him?

“With all due respect, Captain, why… Why are you telling me this?”

He pauses, and you feel your chest tighten in worry at what was wrong. Why was he being so… elusive like this?

Reaching into his jacket, he pulls out a slip of paper, before extending it towards you.

You stare at it for a moment, gaze flickering from him to the letter before slowly taking it. He nods at you the second you pause before unfolding it and still as confused as you were two minutes ago, you slowly unfold the paper. It’s old, worn around the edges and the paper has stained yellow and feels as if it might rip if you weren’t anything but gentle with it. Yet, it’s in perfect condition otherwise, as if the letter had been carefully protected over years.

And when you open it, disbelief floods you.

It’s your mothers writing.

You’d recognize it anywhere.

When you were a little girl, she used to help you with your own penmanship and you used to study her writing for hours.

Before you can gather the courage to read it, your eyes meet Levi’s. He’s watching you, carefully, and all he does is gesture at you to read it, staying completely silent.

So, ignoring the racing of your heart and the way your hands shake, you let your eyes drift across the words written on the page.

Kenny. 

If you’re reading this, that means you came back.

I tried to wait for a month, but I had to move on. Being in this house felt too painful, reminding me constantly of the day you walked out the door on me and left our child. 

I’ve only left this letter so that if you ever did return, you’d know that I tried for you but you never tried for me. For our child. And that I hate you with my entire being.

I never want to see you again. 

And I never want your daughter to see what coward her father is.

So, if this letter finds you, never search for me.

Never search for Y/N.

Our child will never know your name, she’ll never know her father and she will inherit my name, not the Ackerman name. She will never know of your existence.

And if I ever see you, I'll kill you myself.

Johanna.

You retrace the words once more, a lump forming at the back of your throat as a sick feeling washes over you, swallowing you whole.

Kenny… was your father.

The feeling that had nagged at the back of your mind, that had filled you with dread and hope all at the same time… it was because it was true.

Kenny Ackerman was your father.

Your father who’d left your mother all alone.

Your mother who had hated him so much she’d never talked about him, never told you the truth and never wanted him to come searching for you?

Is this why? Because he’d left her all alone… because he’d abandoned her–abandoned you…

Had Kenny never gone looking for you because of this?

Or was it because he truly didn’t care for you?

To just leave your mother like that, he must’ve not–

“Y/N.”

You’d forgotten Levi was even there. It’s starting to feel like you can’t breathe as the truth comes crashing onto your shoulders. The sick feeling in your stomach is ever present and your vision is closing in on you as your fingers grip onto the letter tightly, risking ripping it but in your confused mind, you don’t even think of it.

This is… this is horrible. This can’t be true–any of it… all of that, the years spent thinking about your father, dreaming of the day you’d meet him, of imagining what he looked like, sounded like and he was the man who’d captured your friends, tried to kill them… was the man who’d abandoned your pregnant, alone and scared mother.

It comes like a startling realization, barely noticing how you’re gasping for air. You can't breathe–

“Y/N!”

Blinking, you stare back at Levi. Everything zones in on him as he frowns down at you.

“This was it, right? In the wagon? Under the Chapel? You’d thought…” His words trail, like he’s not sure what to say. “You’d thought Kenny might be your father?”

A shaky exhale leaves you. “My mother… before she died… she told me to find my father. She’d said his name but never finished, all she’d gotten out was Ken before she’d… died.” Feeling your eyes water, you do everything in your power to hold back your tears, feeling like you might puke. “When I heard the name, I thought I was crazy but I couldn’t get rid of this feeling in the back of my mind… and then, when you’d mentioned having a moment where you felt like power had surged through you–all I could think was I’d had a moment like that.”

Levi just continues to frown down at you.

“But this?” You cry, unable to stop the way your voice pitches as you gesture to the letter. “He… he just left her! He abandoned my mom and me!”

Levi shakes his head; “he did the same to me.”

You freeze, turning to Levi.

“When I was a boy in the Underground. One day, he just… left.”

It hadn’t even processed to you yet. If Kenny was Levi’s uncle then…

Clenching your fists, you huff; “where is he? I want… I want to talk to him.”

You move to walk forward, but Levi stops you with a hand to your shoulder. When you meet his gaze, he looks solemn; “he’s dead, Y/N.”

He’s… what?

“He wanted me to give you that letter. Said he’s kept it since the day he found it.” Levi explains, “I won't tell you how to feel. You can hate him or you can forgive him. That choice is up to you. But he wanted you to know he was sorry.”

If you had reached him in the Chapel, would he have still apologized to you?

If he wasn’t dying in front of Levi, would he have still felt apologetic for everything?

This was too much. It hurt too much.

Everything–fuck, it hurt.

“Captain,” you whisper, staring at your feet as you blink back the tears. “If Kenny’s your uncle, then…–”

“Yes,” he cuts in before you can finish, and you flinch at his tone, “our relationship stays the same, Y/N. I am still your Captain.”

You try to ignore the way his words sting, tug painfully at your heart. You don’t know why you would’ve expected any differently. This is who Levi was. You didn’t have to know him that well to understand that. His role as a Scout always comes first. He was your Captain and you were a cadet on his squad. Just because… just because–

Nodding, you fight back the words you truly want to say. “I understand, Captain.”

You move to walk off, but Levi’s hand catches your wrist.

Lips parting, you turn to meet his eyes.

“Our relationship stays the same, yes,” he nods, and disbelief floods you as his face shifts to a look of discomfort, as if not sure how to say his next words. There’s regret in his eyes, like he hadn’t meant the words he’d said earlier and his grip on your wrist loosens as his expression softens. “But… you are family, and I know neither of us have very much of that left. So, if you need anything, you… just need to ask.”

Did he–

“That is all.”

His hand leaves your own and before you can say anything, he’s turning, walking off.

You watch his back, watching him grow further and further, as a small smile curls onto your lips, despite everything, his words process in your mind.

Family…

You couldn’t believe it.

You’d lost your mother, you’d never get to talk to your father but… but you had family. You had someone… 

You had Levi.

-

A knock on your door catches your attention.

Peeling your eyes from the letter that hasn’t left your hands since Levi gave it to you, you glance at your shut door, before slowly letting the letter fall to the bed, standing up.

When you open the door, Jean is standing on the other side of it.

You blink; “Jean.”

He stares back at you, but you quickly notice the look of determination in his gaze. He has his shoulders squared and his hands are clenched by his sides and he’s making his way inside the room before you can even say anything more, let alone him saying anything back in return. The action stuns you and confuses you, and you momentarily wonder if it’s everyone’s goal to confuse you today as you slowly shut the door behind you, turning to face Jean.

You raise a brow; “is… everything okay?”

He spins to face you, and your head jeers back at the quickness of his movement.

“I have something to tell you!” He declares, voice pitching.

You stare back at him for a moment, before nodding. “Me too actually.”

And it’s true. You hadn’t said anything to anyone since Levi had told you, even though Sasha and Mikasa had tried to ask what had happened. It wasn’t that you hadn’t wanted to tell them, but you were still processing the information yourself and needed time. It was one thing to find out who your father was, and another to realize that he’d left your mother and had abandoned you and that you’d never get to ask him about it–about why–because he was dead.

And there was nothing you could do to change that.

But you wanted someone to confide in and even if Levi had said you could come to him, you knew it couldn’t be about this. He’d already done enough telling you the truth in the first place and you still weren’t sure how to navigate this newfound relationship you shared with him.

It was more a matter of who you could confide in.

And despite everything, the answer had come easily.

Jean.

Even if he didn’t return your feelings, even if he didn’t like you like you did–you still felt most comfortable with him. You still found warmth and solace with him by your side and you didn’t want to lose that. As much as you’d felt embarrassed, it had been painful and uncomfortable feeling distant from him for the last while.

And that wasn’t something you wanted to continue.

You wanted to tell him, because you knew he’d help make you feel better and that it would show him that despite what had happened, you still trusted him.

Jean blinks at your words, before slowly nodding and then, there’s an echo of silence, before both of you just blurt it out.

“I’m in love with you!”

“Kenny Ackerman is my father.”

Woah–

Had he…

Eyes widening, you stare back at Jean, a similar expression on his face staring back at you, except his cheeks are bright red with the flush of his confession.

And silence follows, a minute, and then another, and then finally you say something but all you can manage is; “oh.”

He cringes, curling into himself, as his eyes lower and then his eyes catch the letter on your bed and it’s like your words finally register in him.

“Wait,” he calls, shaking his head, “Kenny’s your father?”

“Uh, yeah,” you nod, slowly. “Captain Levi just told me a little bit ago–”

“Captain did?”

“Well, yeah, turns out he’s actually my… family, I guess? Because Kenny’s his uncle and I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to say that to you so do not tell anyone that! Especially Connie or Sasha because I think he’ll actually kill me if he found out and–wait! Did you just say you love me?”

Your ramble ends with you breathless, and Jean’s cheek burns red as the attention turns back to him.

“Yeah,” he says quietly, “I… I wanted to tell you before, when we were fighting Rod Reiss’ Titan but then you just kind of…”

Cut him off is what you’d done.

Because you thought he was just trying to apologize for hurting your feelings and you’d been too embarrassed to have to face pity like that so you’d brushed it off.

He’d been trying to tell you he loved you?

What–

“But when I… you ran off, so I thought–”

Jean steps towards you, “I… I hadn't meant to… not really.” Rubbing the back of his nape, Jean glances at his feet, thoroughly embarrassed. “I was feeling like a coward because Armin had to kill someone for me when I couldn’t and I was worried because you’d gotten hurt and I don’t know… I panicked.”

You look off to the right, unable to stop the pout from forming on your lips; “I thought… Well, I thought it was because you were still in love with Mikasa.”

“What?”

You blink, turning back to Jean, not having expected the bellow that left his lips. His eyes are wide as he stares back at you, like you’re crazy and he’s crossing the distance over to you until he’s right in front of you. “No, no… I… I’ve liked you for a while but I felt like I didn’t deserve you because… well, because I’m a coward.”

You can’t help it. You reach out for him, grabbing his arms as you shake your head up at him. “That is not true,” you argue without hesitation, voice pleading with desperation for him to believe your words. “You’re… you’re one of the bravest men I’ve ever met. Sure, I thought you were a jerk when I first met you but then… you just kept changing and growing and when you chose the Scouts over a quiet life in the Military Police my entire view of you changed. You make me feel safe and warm and protected even if I can take care of myself. You’ve helped me and comforted me more times than I can count and… you were the first one I wanted to tell about my father, Jean. No one else.”

Staring back at you, Jean’s lips part; “Y/N…”

“You’re more than just brave,” you finish, “you’re an amazing leader.”

He stares back at you, your words hanging in the air and then, slowly, his hand raises, and you freeze when his hand falls on your cheek, cupping it.

“I really do love you.” His admission is breathless, as if dazed as he stares down at you, drunk at the sight and feeling of you.

It makes your heart flutter.

Licking your lips, you stare up at him; “I… I love you too, Jean.”

He smiles, and his eyes flicker down to your lips before back on your eyes, and you just stare back at him, waiting. Then, after a moment, he leans forward, pressing his lips against your own. His lips are warm against yours, and your eyes fall shut as he pulls you closer, feeling your back straighten at his touch on you.

He’s pulling back in the next second, still nervous, the kiss short but sweet as you smile up at him, cheeks flushed.

And then, Jean blinks. “We really gotta talk about Kenny being your father though,” he cuts in, frowning down at you. “Are you okay?”

Swallowing thickly, you lean into him; “he wanted me to have that letter… it was a letter my mom had written him after he left her, telling him to never come looking for me or her… Captain Levi said he was sorry,” glancing at the letter, you frown. “But I can’t help but wonder if he’d still feel that way if he’d lived.”

Jean lets go of you, moving to grab the letter. He sends a look your way, asking for permission, but you just nod, letting him read it. You watch him do so, seeing the shock that floods his gaze before he finishes, glancing back at you.

“She… she seemed really hurt.”

You nod, making your way over to him; “I wish she would’ve told me the truth.”

Jean hands you the letter; “she probably thought she was protecting you.”

“I know,” you agree, letting your fingers brush against the letter. “Still. I’ll… I'll never get to ask him myself.”

You feel your eyes water again, unable to hold them back as you stare back at Jean. He reacts without hesitation, pulling you into him as his arms wrap around you, and you sink into the hug, burying your face into the crook of his neck.

Jean holds you close, never letting you go, and it helps.

Even just a little.

-

The door is open when Kenny returns.

And everything is completely silent.

As he pushes the door open slowly, he isn’t surprised to see it completely empty without a single trace of Johanna anywhere.

Frowning, Kenny lets his eyes drift across the barren house, before his eyes fall on a letter laid on the table.

Making his way over, he takes the letter, slowly unfolding it, eyes drifting across the words scrawled across the page.

The second he’s finished, he stares at it a moment longer, before folding it and sliding it into the inner pocket of his jacket, standing there a moment longer before making his way back out of the house.

Kenny doesn’t know it but…

It’s two days after Johanna had left.

And he’d been too late. 

It’s that moment that returns to his mind seconds before his death, that barren, empty house and that letter he’d held for sixteen years straight–never once opening it again but never once daring to throw it away.

And as he lets his eyes fall shut, ignoring the stunned look on his nephew's face, he lets himself think of you for the first time in sixteen years. He’d only gotten a glimpse of you, but he lets that float through his mind, before the image of Johanna appears in his mind just as he feels himself slipping away.It would’ve been nice, he thinks, to have been able to talk to you at least once.

[eddiesguitarskills]

When We Were Young

Part 3

Ex Eddie Munson X reader

Other parts 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Intro: 5 years have past since you packed up and left behind Hawkins. Well not all of it, as the people you met there are still a huge part of your life. But it's been 5 years since you had set a foot in the small town, 5 years since you left him. And now after all that time you were back.

Warning: angst, language, mentions of suicide, miscarriages, self harm, mental health. Use of y/n. Slow burn. Arguments. Mentions of break ups. Female identity reader.

Bold parts are flashbacks

Word count: 2.2k

A/n: please only read if you are in a good place, I wouldn't want this story to trigger or hurt anyone. I'm sorry this part it short but I didn't want to add loads in when it felt like a good place to end this part. Also there will be happy moments coming soon, it's just super slow burn. Let me know if you wanna be tagged in the next part, thank you for reading

Not prove read.

Despite the panic attack you had after Eddie left, you still went downstairs and pretended to be fine. Everyone was so excited to see you, you didn’t want to ruin that. You couldn't let them see how broken you felt. You had to be okay. You couldn't make them worry about you again, especially Steve. So you smiled and laughed, pretending your hands weren’t hurting from your nails digging into the palms.

After a long night, you went to your new house, you couldn’t make it to the bedroom with how emotionally exhausted you felt. So tired, that you couldn’t even make sounds as you silently sobbed on the sofa until you eventually fell asleep.

You woke up with the promise today would be a better day, last night you just slipped into your old self. You were better now. No stupid ex could ruin your progress. You needed to get some groceries for the house so at least you had something to distract your mind for a little while.

As you drove in your new red Ford (well it was a used ford from a couple of years) to the grocery store you expected everything to look different, but to your surprise, it was the same. The florist with the pink lettering on the window spelling out its name Haley’s, the paint had slightly started to peel but it was still there. The 50% off at the clothing boutique. Even the graffiti that was on the side of the market was still there, from four years ago. The town was stuck in a time warp, maybe it wouldn’t take as much time to adjust.

Grabbing a shopping cart you slowly walk down the isles not sticking to the list you wrote at home. Picking up all sorts of snacks. You had missed American cuisine. Your cart was getting full. I guess it’s true what they said about how you shouldn't come shopping on an empty stomach. The cart was old and rusty, meaning the fuller the cart got the harder to steer it was. The wheels screeched and lagged every time a new item was added. You turned the corner to enter another aisle when the left wheel furthest away from you decided to jam, ramming you into a customer's cart.

“I am so sorry” you look up at the old man wearing a cap. Maybe it wasn’t your ex you were a magnet too, maybe it was just the Munson’s. He frowned at you. Okay so maybe not everything was the same. Wayne was known for being grumpy to others but you only knew him as a sweetheart he was never anything but kind to you. You had never seen him look at you like this. There was a disappointment hidden beneath his eyes, that you, unfortunately, didn’t miss. “For what? Bumping into my cart or breaking my son’s heart?” You don’t know what you expected him to say. But maybe silence would have been better. The words stung you.

His son was the one to break your heart, not the other way around. Sure it might have hurt him when you left, but how were you supposed to feel when he didn’t give you a choice? And the only way of having part of him was taken away from you.

“Do you want me to be your little housewife and have food on the table ready for when you get back from your big successful job?". You stared in disbelief despite the thoughts building like a storm in your head. “Is that what you think?” He hated when you used that voice. The one where it sounded like you were about to break.

It made him hate himself more than he already did. Maybe this is why he was treating you this way. Seeing if you take his bait, to see if you thought he was as worthless as he felt. He didn’t want to hear that voice in his head, he didn’t want to see the disappointment on your face right now, he just needed something to numb it all. So he turned away from you in search of a blunt, a pill, powder, anything.

His turning away from you, caused the storm to break loose, this was the end and he wasn’t even kind enough to break up with you in words. “Fuck you” you whispered and left. You got in your car. Driving as far as you could from him. You could see just enough to get as far as the Family Video which wasn’t a long way from the trailer park before your tears completely cover your eyes sight. You pulled up not wanting to risk anyone’s life. breathing heavily, panic intensifying. In comprehensive words being screamed from your mouth. Cursing out to the universe, Eddie and apologising to the life in your stomach.

God how you wanted to curse his nephew out and tell Wayne the whole truth. But as Eddie said you were nothing so why did it matter anymore? You did hate how you had never said goodbye to the man who took you into his family so easily. Making sure you were always welcome. Making sure your favourite snacks were in his home despite not having the money and living paycheck to paycheck. So you just said “I’m sorry Wayne” he didn’t need to know that it was an apology to him, not his nephew.

His face didn’t change, you guess this was the Wayne Munson everyone talked about, the cold-hearted, scary guy. You had never been on the receiving end of this version of him but it was frightening. So you looked down, scared if you look up for a second more you would cry. “That kid already had a hard enough life, he didn’t need you promising him a better one and then being like the rest of them. You messed him up so bad that he’s only now just starting to smile again. So if you plan on staying don’t you dare hurt him again”. With that threat he left. You wanted to leave the store than to wallow, but you stood in fear not wanting to cross paths with a Munson again. “Are you okay ma’am?” a shop clerk addresses you. You nod “I’m fine thank you.”

Thankfully you wouldn’t cross paths with another Munson today as Wayne had gone to work and the younger Munson was still in bed hungover. Deciding not to come into work today, he might as well have gone in with how many times Sarah had called, asking how to do things, that she should know how to do. Hearing the constant rings and her voice was giving the boy a headache. Eddie didn’t realise she was only doing this to make sure he was okay, it wasn’t like him to call in sick. After plumping his pillow and changing positions back and forth, he found a comfortable spot and started to close his eyes.

The phone rang again, and he groaned. Picking it up now pissed. “Come on Sarah you called 10 minutes ago, you’re a floor manager you should be better than this. Use some instinct, I shouldn’t have to hold your hand through this”. A male’s chuckle made him realise that it wasn’t his employee on the phone. He knew that laugh anywhere and right now he would have preferred to hear from Sarah 20 more times if it meant not talking to Harrington. “You seem like such a lovely boss” Steve joked, hoping to gauge Eddie’s mood. When he didn’t laugh back or make a snide remark, when he was met with silence. He realise how pissed Eddie was, he was never the quiet type.

Steve sighed “look I know I should have given you a heads up, trust me I was going to. I just got so excited about having her back that I didn’t think-“. Eddie rolled his eyes cutting in “yeah you didn’t think”. Steve ignore the rise Eddie was trying to cause and continued. “I was going to tell you, I just didn’t expect you there, not that I didn’t want to see you. I just didn’t know Dustin invited you. I hoped the first time you met again would go better, I didn't plan for it to go like that”. If the men were in the same room, Eddie might have hit the boy, even if he didn’t mean it. With the rage he was feeling. “Better? Do you really think we could ever get along, After what she did?”.

"shut it Munson" Oh, it was definitely a good job they weren't in the same room. Steve didn’t snap anymore. He tried not to raise his voice because he hated how it made him feel like his father. But he would not have Eddie speak about you like that. Especially with what he did. He had come so far with Eddie, after the first couple of months of the incident he couldn't even look at him. But after time he forgave and tried to understand the boy. But he never forgot. How could he forget?

Steve was blinded by the headlight pouring into the shop window. After a long 12-hour shift he was super tired and didn’t need this. He left the shop storming over to the car, about to tell the jerk off. Until he came closer and realised it was your car. He walked over quicker, wondering what you were up to. Were you trying to be funny, by annoying him? He supposed this is what best friends did. He grabbed open your door, trying to scare you. To get his own back. However, as soon as the door opened, he saw you hysterically crying, clutching your stomach. He got down to his knees in front of you, rubbing your arms. “It hurts so much”.

He wanted to cry looking at you like this, you were always the strong one. The anchor in his life. No matter how scared or how much of a dick he was, you brought him back to earth. You were never like this. You squeezed your eyes in pain, holding your stomach tighter. This was worse than the pain he felt when Nancy left, worse than anything with the upside down. This was the most heartbreaking thing he had ever seen. But he had to be as strong for you as you had been for him. So he sniffed back up the tears. “What hurts y/n?”. You pull his hand from your arm to your stomach. “It hurts Steve”. He couldn't be sure, he hoped it was just stomach pain and not... God, he hoped it wasn't that. All he knew is that he needed to take you to the hospital. “Can you move?”

Eddie wasn't used to this version of Steve, even when they weren't friends Steve hadn't spoken to him like this. At that moment he realised that if there was a choice Steve would always pick you, and maybe all his friends would always pick you. Why was he the only that hated you? At that moment he felt more alone than he had in years. It made him scared, he couldn't be abandoned again. He felt like a child scared of his dad, feeling like he disappointed him. With how quickly Steve was to turn his back on him he wondered if everyone else felt the same. Was he just a place holder until you came back?

You had left, he had stuck around. Sat with his friends while they cried. Make them laugh on bad days. Trained Dustin to be a Dm. Went to hospital appointments with friends. Stayed awake talking them down from nightmares. All while suffering from his own traumas. He never complained because that's what friends do. Especially when they had gone through what they had. You left everyone, and now you could just come back, and everyone would love you. What do you know about hard?

“She got to leave, it couldn't have been that bad.” Steve growled through the phone “you don’t know shit Munson” he slammed the phone down. Eddie was all alone, well not completely, he had his thoughts. He was now wishing for Sarah to call. He felt like he was being smothered by thoughts, what did Steve mean? Eddie might have been mean that night to you, but surely it wasn't enough to qualify this sort of response. How had you had a hard life? Had something happened? Was he missing something? He shook his head. No, he hated you, he needs to keep it this way. He picked up the phone and rang Sarah, as soon as he heard her voice he spoke. “Come over after work”. He slammed the phone down. He needed to forget, Sarah could help with that even if it was only a couple of hours.

A couple of hours before the thoughts would come back and he was swarmed by curiosity, pain and loneliness.

Tag list

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[mioyeo]

8 makes 1 team

No matter how different, without one of us there is no 8 makes 1 Team

Synopsis : In which 8 boys build a friendship despise of their differences with the help of a psychiatrist

Pairing : psychiatrist! Reader x Ateez (for now )

Warnings : this chapter includes mentions of , abuse towards hongjoong , crying , harsh insults , slight bonding time , minor panic attack, Slight violence, yelling , mentioning’s of suicide, San and Yeosang arguing, please tell me if I forget something , and I’m not romanticizing disorders in anyway and this is pure fiction meaning this doesn’t represent Ateez in any type of way

For every new chapter I’ll place this (🟢) beside it in the masterlist so you guys know that the chapter is new and was posted recently

Tag list : @veneziamadness , @hcyaa , @sadcoffeecritic , @aapplepii , @lavishloving , @dogsongy , @acciocriativity , @k33vad3la , @seonghwifey , @hanjihyun23 , @yunhoswrld123 , @cqndiedcherries ,

Also if you want to be added to the tagging list for the next chapter comment so I can add you

Word count: 2,5k

She had put the bottles away to dry after bringing the boys to the recess room , everyone in individual rooms because she couldn't have them together for now after just meeting once

And the breakfast room was cleaned and everything was replaced

Y/n went out and locked the door before making her way towards Hongjoong's room

The guard looked irritated as he stood in front of the door doing his morning shift

" Did he sleep well ? "

" That kid has been screaming for the past hour  and throwing a tantrum "

She frowned and looked inside the room seeing the boy on his bed playing with the sheets

" What did you do to him ? "

" I set him straight, I don't get paid enough for this  anyways "

She chuckled and went closer to the guard and patted his chest while reading his name tag

" Do you have kids ? "

" Yeah I do "

Y/n went closer to his face and pushed his forehead back forcefully

"  Do you also hit them ? like you hit other peoples children come on tell me "

" N-No ma'am "

The guard started shaking from the fierce stare she gave him

" Don't you think your being a hypocrite? "

" I-I-I I'm sorry forgive me "

He rubbed his hands together in a pleading way as he looked down

" Why should I take you seriously if your not even looking at me "

She scoffed and grabbed his chin to look at her

" Just so you know I don't treat people this way but since you put your hands on a child that didn't hurt you in anyway you should experience the same mistreatment, and let this be the last time I see you or hear you've done something to any of the patients here I'll have you fired without further words being spoken "

The guard nodded and kept his head down as she went inside the room

" Good morning Hongjoong "

She approached the boy and kneeled down in front of him

" Y/n y-you came "

He teared up and hugged her

" I know Joongie , I promise you he won't put his hands on you again "

The boy sobbed on her shoulder and pinched her clothes

" We are gonna have breakfast today with our other friends "

" F-Friends? Hongjoong has no friends "

" I'm also your friend don't worry "

She caressed his head and rubbed his back

" I brought something for you so we can keep the bad away "

She opened his antipsychotic meds and held it out to him

" Really? "

" Yes , we want them to leave you alone right ?"

He nodded and gulped it down with a cup of water

" We are gonna start taking these everyday so we can see if it really helps "

He stared at her and smiled before standing up

" Breakfast time ! "

" Yes but before that we will go and pick up someone else to join us "

She smiled and extended her hand to which he grabbed immediately

" Hongjoong is meeting his friends? "

" Yes , We will meet the other boys for breakfast "

" Ahhh "

She locked his room and saw that another guard stood in front of his door

"I'm the new guard assigned to him they switched the other guard since he asked I don't know why he would but well here we are "

He smiled brightly unlike the other guards and genuinely seemed exited

" You seem strangely exited to work today "

She looked at him carefully as he scratched the back of his head nervously

" It was really hard to get this job , and I've been training for this too "

" Really? your devoting your youth to these children here are you sure "

He chuckled and smiled at Hongjoong that stared at him with a tedious facial expression

" I also had a brother that worked here but he was moved to one of the calmer area's and I was really amazed by this job so I decided to try this and I also love kids "

" Well please treat them well and I wish you luck from now on "

She smiled at him and walked away with Hongjoong who looked back at the young guard that waved at him sweetly

" Looks like our next friend is asleep still "

She looked inside and checked in with Hongjoong trailing behind her

" We need to be quiet ok ? "

" No need I was already awake "

San rose up and Hongjoong screamed loudly scared holding onto Y/n's back

" Hongjoong what happened? "

" I know I probably look scary because of my eye bags but I'm not I promise "

He yawned and stood up walking towards his sink sloppily

" How do you feel San ? and this is Hongjoong one of the boys in your group for breakfast "

" I feel like shit not gonna lie , and nice to see who I'll see everyday at breakfast "

The boy groaned tiredly as he grabbed his brush and started brushing his teeth

" I have something for you , since the meds you had before where not working "

She waved his antidepressants in the air

" W-Why does he have a sad look on his face "

Hongjoong looked at Y/n and played with the hem of his pajamas

" Well buddy I don't actually wanna be here I wish I'd been never born to begin with "

San replied and brushed his black hair with mint green strands back so he looked neat

" Why are you still here ? "

The elder stared at San who just chuckled

" I wish I'd known a answer to that "

" One day you'll get to know why San "

She opened the door and waited for him to follow both her and Hongjoong who kept staring at things

" How many people are we ? "

"Without counting me it's just four of you guys"

San hummed and continued walking as he watched Hongjoong try and pull off his bandage

" Your not supposed to take that off , it's there for a reason so don't take it off "

Hongjoong let go of his wrist after he was stopped  and nodded

" Well looks like he is already awake and waiting "

She looked inside Yunho's room and saw that  the boy looked like he was about to cry so she rushed inside

" Hey Yunho what's the matter ? "

" Duri send me away and tore up my apology letter we are no more friends "

His lips quivered and he bursted out crying

" That's ok if he doesn't want to be friends with you anymore, you will be friends with San and Hongjoong for sure "

" Honestly that is a terrible thing anyone could have ever done to someone that's supposed to be their friend so don't feel bad that person just didn't deserve you "

" Joongie your friend now "

Hongjoong smiled and hugged Y/n jumping up and down making her chuckle and San smile genuinely for the first time that week

" See you just gained a friend "

" But he wont hurt me right ? "

" He will not hurt you Hongjoong don't worry "

Yunho looked at them and wiped his tears with a tiny smile before screaming breakfast making Hongjoong cover his ears as the other two chuckled

" Yes Yunho we will have breakfast as soon as we pick up our next friend "

She held Hongjoong's hand as they all went out

" Who is the eldest here ? "

" Hongjoong is sixteen and San is fifteen "

" I'm also fifteen "

The boy smiled and held his hand out to San for a high five which was returned immediately

" What did you guys pick for breakfast? "

" I took Chocolate cereal "

" I took Apple jam ! It's so tasty on bread "

Hongjoong wasn't really trying to interact into the conversation he was busy playing with

Y/n's ring on her finger

" Your hair looks cool I like it can I touch?"

Yunho looked at San's hair amazed which made the younger smile and lower his head

" You know I want to sign up for the salon they will dye our hair again "

" Really? What color would you pick? "

" I always wanted to try having Black hair with red strands of hair ! "

" That's what I was actually going for "

Yunho gasped and clapped his hands

"Can we match please ? That would be so cool "

" Sure just sign me beside your name and than we can go together "

They all came to an stop in front on the door before Y/n checked in warning them that the next one tended to be a little mean

" Good Morning Yeosang I see you dyed your hair a new color your blonde now "

Y/n smiled at the boy that had a scowl on his face

" Who are they and why are they in here ? "

He stood up and fixed his shirt rolling his eyes

" This is the group you'll be having breakfast with from now on and lunch plus dinner "

" Hello I'm Yunho ! "

" I'm San and that's Hongjoong "

Yeosang furrowed his eyebrows and stared at Yunho

" Did you already had a circus for breakfast? Your so loud like shut up "

Yunho scratched the back of his head and apologized

" I'm happy because me and San are going to match hair colors! "

He couldn't help but get loud again

" Ok and ? Just be quiet your making me regret waking up again "

" Let him be happy "

San rubbed his eyes and looked at Yeosang with a unimpressed expression

" I wasn't talking to you , you crackie looking moldy hair boy "

" Yeosang please remember what I told you "

The boy scoffed and walked towards the  door

" That's the most lamest insult I have ever had directed towards me and I've been called worse by better people "

San snorted and looked at Yeosang unbothered

" Your so funny "

The blonde scoffed and turned towards Y/n with a painful smile

" Can we go eat ? I'm trying to control myself from destroying this boys whole live "

" Yeosang we will have breakfast now and please both of you stop with the insults "

Yunho looked at San and patted his back

" Your so mean "

"And  I'm jealous of all the people who haven't met you what a privilege "

" Yeosang I said stop "

She looked at him before unlocking the door and letting everyone inside the breakfast room

" Woah look there is all types of cereal "

Hongjoong gasped and ran towards it

" Well you may all sit beside anyone you want to sit with and than you can start having breakfast "

She went closer to Yeosang and nodded at him as she saw the boy hesitate to sit and get himself something to eat

" San I'll give you these before you eat ok ? "

He filled himself a cup of water and took the antidepressants out of her hands before gulping everything down

"Aww the big mouth is a depressed cry baby "

San eyed him and decided not to respond for Y/n's sake and started to talk to Yunho who was heads over heals for the amount of delicious food there was

" Don't be offended I'm not insulting you I'm just describing you "

" You are clearly bored in life "

" Sounds so rich coming from the one who tried so many times to end his lif- "

Everything went silent and watched Yeosang close his eyes in disbelief as he was soaking wet

" Hongjoong , don't do that "

Y/n widened her eyes and grabbed tissues to started wiping Yeosang's face who pushed her off and grabbed the elder by his collar

" You fucking freak what is your problem! "

He yelled at Hongjoong and shook the boy

"Stop bein-ng mean t-to Hongjoong's friends! "

The elder yelled back and pushed Yeosangs hands off him

" Isn't it enough that you killed people? "

San stood up and pulled Hongjoong away from the scene

" Want to join them ? I'll gladly help "

"I may not be able to control my emotions and whatsoever but you should definitely be able to control your mouth ! "

The elder was pushed by San's angry state

" Stop it this instant "

She raised her voice and held Yeosang back

" This is unnecessary, y'all are supposed to have a calm breakfast and not this "

" B-But Y/n he was attacking San ! "

Yunho yelled and backed San up who shed angry tears

" I know which are completely out of line , but Yeosang has problems controlling himself and what he says , im not trying to cover up for what he does but if you try your best to ignore or reprehend him it will help you both "

" How is it gonna help me that he's fucked up in the head "

San  scoffed and rolled his eyes

" Insulting will never bring us far in anything , it may feel good but it's a temporary thing "

She sighed and took some fresh blue pajamas out of the box and handed it to Yeosang

" Go change and go back "

The boy grabbed the clothes and went inside the rooms bathroom after glaring at San

" San it was not ok of you to push and agitate him more just like what he did and said was unacceptable , and Hongjoong I don't want to see you splash water at anyone again am I clear boys ? "

Hongjoong nodded and hugged her side

" I'm sorry for throwing water at Yeosang "

" And  I'll try to ignore his comments even though they hurt a lot and I really wish I could help him stop being like this "

" Why does he even do this Y/n "

Yunho looked at her curious as he continued to rub San's back

" Well Yeosang had a pretty bad history with bullying and negligence during his childhood which leads us to why he is this way "

"P-Poor Yeosang ,why would someone do this "

" That I will never know why but I just know that he will recover and you guys are also a part of his therapy process "

" I'll try to not let myself down by his words "

" Me too ! "

San wiped his eyes and sighed as Yunho hugged him softly for comfort

" You both are such bright and sweet boys don't let a single thing bother you "

" What about me ?! I'm also sweet and bright "

Yunho exclaimed and furrowed his brows making everyone smile

" Of course you are Yunho how could I forget "

She ushered everyone to finish eating as she cleaned the wet floor

" What is inside that box ? "

" I have some things for you guys to do in some minutes , let me go and check up on Sangie "

She went towards the bathroom and knocked but the door wasn't even locked so she peaked inside seeing the boy standing in front of the mirror  with his eyes closed and his head hung down

" Yeosang everything good in here ?  "

Y/n stepped inside and walked closer to him

“ Is he ok ? ”

“ You mean San ? ”

He nodded and looked up with a scowl

“ Yes he’s doing good now , you that-”

“ I know it hurt him and I don’t know if I feel bad but I’m having this certain pain on my chest area and I don’t know what it is ”

Yeosang finally looked at her and held confusion in his eyes

“ Yeosang your feeling bad for what you did to San and that’s good that your developing some kind of feelings for your actions just like when you laughed that one time when I told you a story and you stopped after saying it didn’t sound funny to you anymore ”

She smiled and crossed her arms together

“ I-I don’t feel bad for him ”

He scoffed but wasn’t sure himself

“ If you finish sorting out your thoughts come out and finish eating ”

She ruffled his hair and this time he didn’t protest

[asumofwords]

Wanted to tag some of my fav writers on here, and woof, do I have a lot <3

@targaryenrealnessdarling I'm constantly in your walls, scratching within. Bitch, you got me fucked up. So fucked up, might I add, that I have started fucking iceskating lessons because of A Perfect Score. Also, Consequences? I sobbed.

@valeskafics - One day, our love for Larys will be recognised and revered and we shall be praised. Lmao, but no. Your fics were actually one of the first I read in this fandom, and I am still obsessed

@ewanmitchellcrumbs - I could write a million things as to why you make me feral. I eat up everything you write like Oliver Twist, begging for more. The Viserys crack fic? I'm sorry but you had me HOWLING. Added bonus of making my work bestie read it

@theoneeyedprince - You are the sweetest angel ever, and honestly? I love everything you do, I'm gonna be reading more and more and you'll get sick of me eventually

@flowerandblood - BARKBARKBARK, I am about to start The Pearl and The Sapphire, and babe… I know I’m never going to be the same again

@oneeyedvisenya - Dragonstone Hollow will forever live in my head rent free. And it made me want to go back to horse riding again LMAOOOO. Everything you write? *chef kiss*

@sapphire-writes - Thin Ice, Down in Flames, The Campaign? You got a hold on meeeeeee. Can't and won't ever get over it.

Theres so many fucking amazing writers, and I’m sure I didnt get everyone (and for this I apologise) but ARGHHHH holy shit, everyone is so talented, I am just constantly in awe

[joekeeryswife]

Moving - j.k

hello angels! i hope everyone is okay. this is just a short imagine for you to read whilst i’m working on a few others :). I DONT KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THIS 😭. i rushed it and wrote it in two hours lmfao. it probably has a few mistakes, other than that- enjoy reading 🤍 ⚠️british reader⚠️

taglist (feel free to add yourselves🤍): @eddieamoremio @johnricharddeacy @corneliuswatkins @theshireisonfire @ssababe @phantomxoxo @livsters @hellfire1986baby @ladyapplejackdnd @alexxavicry @m-rae23 @sheisjoeschateau @newtandminhoaretoocute @shiftingmack @kaverichauhan (if there’s a line through your name i can’t tag you xx)

you were sat in your living room with tear filled eyes staring at the white walls, a million thoughts running through your mind. you had thought about this for a few months, weighing up the pros and cons of moving into your dream home. one pro was that it was your dream house that you instantly fell in love with when you saw it online, a con was that it was in the uk.

you had moved to America five years ago to peruse your dream of modelling and you had achieved so much in those five years. from being on billboards, vogue covers, in fashion week runways you had accomplished your dreams. in that five years you had also met the love of your life, Joe Keery.

he was the best thing to ever happen to you. better than the vogue covers and the runway, just the perfect man who you were lucky enough to be in a relationship with. you had been together for 3 years, he had been to your runway shows, your photoshoots and different meetings with your agency. he was the most supportive boyfriend and you were so grateful.

you had put an offer on the house, to be honest you didn’t even think you’d get it but the owners accepted the offer and now they were looking at dates for you to move in. moving back to the uk meant you’d be closer to your friends, family and it meant you could still model for the same agency, but it meant you would be leaving Joe.

he was at your house practically every day, his clothes were in your wardrobe, his toothbrush was in your toothbrush holder, he had his own set of keys. he was back and forth between your house and his, most of the time him being at yours and you loved it. your heart was hurting, thinking about leaving him so you could be selfish and move back to your home town.

“hey honey” you heard the front door close pulling you out of your thoughts. you heard his footsteps echo through the house before he entered the living room. you turned to the door, seeing him walking in with a smile on his face. you tried to smile back to hide your feelings but it was no use, he had seen the tears in your eyes and rushed to your side.

“what’s the matter?” he sat down next to you and grabbed ahold of your hands. you sighed, feeling your chin quiver as you tried to suppress your sobs. “i’m moving” you said quietly, looking at your hands. Joe was confused, you had wanted to move out of this house for ages and now you were finally able to do it.

“sweetheart that’s great, you’ve wanted to get out of here for ages. it’s a big thing i know but you should be happy, we can go look at it together-” Joe saw you shake your head, a few tears falling down your flushed cheeks. “the house is in the uk Joe” he felt his heart drop. you felt awful. you loved Joe so much and now you were leaving.

“i didn’t mean to get it but i offered a price and they accepted it. it’s really beautiful, my dream house but i’m so sorry” your tears continued to fall as Joe squeezed your hands tightly. “it’s okay. i can still act in the uk. i’ll be travelling a lot but if it’s the house that you want then it’s okay” now you felt even worse. he was willing to give up his life to benefit you.

“i can’t ask you to do that” you shook your head as you spoke. his family, friends and memories were all here in the us, him leaving would be leaving his whole life. “baby no, you weren’t asking. i want to go wherever you go and if you really really want to move back to the uk then that’s fine” his heart was beating fast.

“Joe no. you can’t do that” you let go of his hands and stood up. you felt guilty even though you hadn’t even asked him to move with you. you felt selfish. “why not? do you not want me to go with you?” you wiped your eyes and moved away from him. you scoffed through your tears “are you joking? of course i want you to come with me. i saw the house and had all these thoughts of us being there, having our own family, making our own memories”

Joe also stood up, there was only the coffee table between the two of you. “then why are you telling me not to?” he wasn’t getting angry but you could tell you were upsetting him. he was breathing heavily and his voice was slightly raised. you ran a hand through your hair and sighed, trying to calm.

“because you’ve got your whole life here. you haven’t lived anywhere but America and i can’t expect you to pack everything up to come live with me just because you’re my boyfriend. your family is here, so are your friends. imagine how they’re gonna feel when they find out you’re moving nine hours away because of me. i feel like i’m taking you away from them and i don’t want them to hate me. i feel bad” you shouted but he shook his head and walked around the coffee table to you.

“do you really think i care? i love you and i wanna be with you. if that means moving across the world with you then so be it. i can see my family and friends whenever it doesn’t matter. my life is with you” his hands went to both of your cheeks to wipe away your tears. “stop worrying honey. this is your dream house, this has to be a happy think and i’m not going anywhere. well, i am, i’m coming with you” he joked making you laugh through your tears.

“it’s gonna be okay. i promise you.” he lent in and kissed you passionately. “what if you don’t like it? i don’t want to leave you but i want you to be happy” you said as he pulled away from the kiss. “i am happy when i’m with you, no house or country will change that. i’m going with you” with that he kissed you again. no matter where you were in the world, Joe would follow because he loved you and nothing would ever change that.

[ghostmaldo]

🍉 This is it, For Palestine🍉

I don’t know where to start. I’ve never done something like this before. Never knowing if my voice out of millions will be heard. But none of that matters anymore. I’ve put all that fear aside and even if one person shares, if one person can find it in their heart to help. Even if one person shares this for their followers to see. its worth it.

People are dying and have been dying for five months. Dead, no longer living, no longer alive. No longer able to see the light of day, to enjoy their lives with their familes, their children, their loves ones or chase after their own dreams. All taken in less a second. Lied to about safe zones, trapped, and killed is a lesser manner than cattle. And for what? Tell me FOR WHAT? Because they simply live different then we do? Religion, money, somebody please tell me BECAUSE I DON”T UNDERSTAND. I am beyond the notion of angry. I look at them and I see people just trying to survive. They’re just trying to live like everyone else. We have the same hearts, same limbs, eyes, mouths, dreams…Whats the difference between their children and our children. Nothing. It’s hard for me to look at my own child and image if this horror was happening to us without breaking out into a sob.

Yet, the media, the nations their doing everything in their power to keep it all quiet. Like its not some serious ordeal to bomb a few several thousands of innocent people. Fuck they try to make it seem their doing the world a favor. I hate this stupid fucking nation and I mean that with my entire chest. I may have been born here but I do not stand with this governments. These old ass cruel and evil men and women who have the power to stop this with the snap of their fingers. But they DONT. THEY REFUSE. And still the nation parades themaround like show dogs. I’m amazed, baffled how a little green rectangle comepletly bewitches you old fucking white men.

Please, please, please, I’m begging on my fucking knee’s for anyone reading this to hear Palestines cries. America has tried to convince us we don’t matter in all of this but we do. We matter the most. We HAVE to spread this like wild fire and we have to do it NOW. No one deserves genocide. No one deserves to die under a bomb buried in ruble. And I an’t stress this enough, children included. Children brutally mustered before their lives have even begun. What they’ve done to the people of Palestine is everything evil and vile. I’ve tried my best to compile a list of resources that will help the people of Gaza/Rafa/Palastine. And please feel free to add more, this is it. If you’ve been waiting for a sign, for a moment. This is it.

I’m sorry I had to use the tags in my favor. I have to make sure this reaches as many eyes as possible.

https://afsc.org/news/6-ways-you-can-support-palestinians-gaza

A list of 6 ways to support Gaza. Including contacting your congress and DEMAND cease of fire. Participating in marches (Please so stay safe while doing so), keeping up with corporations supporting the genocide and immediatly boycotting and holding them responsible for their participation. And many others

https://www.savethechildren.org/us/where-we-work/west-bank-gaza

If you have the means to do so heres a donation pool for helping children and medical resources for Gaza

https://www.itsnicethat.com/news/gaza-resource-list-creative-industry-031123

Heres a well put together list of ways we can also support Palestine.

https://fmep.org/resource/ways-to-support-palestinians-in-the-gaza-strip/

Another list to support Palestinians

If anyone can find the accounts of the familes, journalist, anyone speaking about Gaza please, Reblogs and put their names in. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope this finds someone. Anyone.

~Maldo

[inkykeiji]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-4fGPKi34xddcFk3msZFnc_UWYCMndkquW7UkGQE83I/edit

AAAA OKAY SORRY SORRY TRY NOW!!!

-💤

IT WORKS NOW eeeee yay thank you so much!!!!! this made me so emotional (in a good way!)!! i just cannot tell you how honoured i am that you did this for one of my stories like.....i genuinely don’t even have the words to describe how incredible that is and how lucky i am to have you here with me. thank you so much for sharing this with me, i will cherish it so very much ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)

my thoughts on each song beneath the cut!!!

family tree - ethel cain

i totally see what you’re saying here!!! ugh god i love ethel cain so much, her music is just so perfect for so much of my work in terms of vibes and atmosphere yk what i mean??? so i was so glad to see that u included her here!!

demolition lovers - mcr

there’s a dozen reasons in this gun has got to be one of my favourite lyrics ever, wow!!! but also, i loved the whole last minute or so of this song!! i know that’s where the lyrics you selected are from, but i just feel like that entire final verse describes the trajectory of dabi and reader’s relationship??? from their first meeting to that last scene with keigo in the hospital.

i would die for you - in this moment

okay, YES. yes, i completely get what you mean LMAO. just that ravenous, all-consuming, downright obsessive love, us against the world type, those who continuously swallow each other whole just to spit them back out again and repeat the entire process. loved it so much <33 VERY dabi x reader!!!

voodoo doll - the funeral portrait

oof okay this song hit so hard it made me sob. as i’ve said before, tag you’re it is a very personal story to me, having grown up with and lived with (and been parented by) addicts for my entire life. because, honestly, addiction doesn’t just hurt the user, it hurts everyone who cares about the user, too. i’m not gonna go too deep into that but i loved everything you had to say about this song and i agree with you one million percent, you hit the nail right on the head!!!

life vest - the material

okay let me just take a moment to bask in the fact that the motel scenes are your favourite because i worked SO insanely hard on those scenes LMAO <3 two bodies with one beating heart oh i love love love this. but yeah!!! at that moment in the story especially, dabi is her life vest; for the majority of their time there (right up until the end) he discards his manipulation and casts off his selfishness and allows himself to just be with her, to be there for her, for completely selfless reasons, because he truly does love her. it is a crucial point in their relationship!

tears don’t fall - bullet for my valentine

ooooh yes okay!!! one of the lyrics that really stuck out to me in this song is there’s always something different going wrong / the path i walk’s in the wrong direction because it feels very keigo, especially since he was the golden boy who fell from grace, essentially. adding onto your selection of lyrics, the her conscience calls the guilty to come home also kind of reminded me of the guilt reader feels for leaving keigo, and how that guilt kind of repeatedly calls for her to come back to him, sometimes in the form of keigo himself.

everybody sells cocaine - motionless in white

holy fuck i LOVED this song!!! and you’re SO right, btw!!! dabi is constantly tempting keigo, taunting keigo, ‘testing’ keigo in the most twisted, unfair ways ever. i don’t even have anything to add, i just agree with you wholeheartedly.

jupiter - flower face

omg yes this is VERY dabi x reader during their budding relationship in part one especially. also, these silly games we play / stupid ways to make you stay / my heart’s split open on display / i can’t wait another day pretty much encompasses them fully <33 also also, rly loved the lyric it must be holy to feel something so pure makes me think of dabi as he initially starts to truly fall in love with her—real, pure, sincere! okay i just got to the end of the song and tbh, i think there’s even an argument to be made here for part two as well, and the way their relationship progresses, the concept of home, etc.

luna - wisp

feeling u hardcore on the chest aching with this song. it’s just the melody, you know??? it feels so infused with raw emotion. this one also kind of reminds me of the sex scene in part one AHAHAHA but that’s more due to how hazy and fragmented reader is <3

bottles - the material

oh yeah, for sure! alcoholism is still substance abuse, and it is still addiction. oof this is another one that made me like, super emotional. just rly struck a chord!! i love everything you’ve pointed out here, and i also love how the chorus (in particular the lyrics those bottles are everywhere / and i can’t be everywhere / to keep them from you) reminds me so much of how reader feels towards keigo’s addiction for the majority of the series; she so desperately wishes to save him from himself, she so desperately wants to help, to be useful, but she truly cannot be everywhere cataloging all of his actions all of the time

aaaah WOW sleepy!!!! incredible playlist, thank you again for sharing it with me and the rest of us here on inkykeiji!!! your selection of songs and the order in which you curated them was just genius, i am so blessed to be able to experience this <333

[surprisebitch]

I saw your posts and got spoiled on the character death and I'm SO glad I did. If I had gone into that episode blind it would've hurt so much more than it already does. I wouldn't normally send an ask but I saw the other anon and I wanted to say I also lost my dad recently and this death STILL made me sob, like fictional character or not this is grief! And talking about it is a good thing! So thank you! Also sorry to add more grief and death into your inbox but I just related too heavily to not say anything ❤️

It's devastating.. I read the manga and I knew it was happening.. but the way it was animated was so beautiful and heartbreaking.. I was literally sobbing uncontrollably 🥹 and i want to apologize for spoiling but i did try to tag everything.. i mightve missed that post you saw.. but everyone in social media is talking about it, so i think everyone knows about it at this rate

I'm sorry to hear about your dad... I hope you are doing better. I can't imagine what it must be like. Thank you for your message❤️ and I appreciate you sharing how you feel and for understanding