#(honestly I could not thank taylor enough for ever putting that into words and translating how that feels into music)

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

some days the "fire off missiles because you hate yourself but do you know you're demolishing me" and "let all your damage damage me" and "I gave you all my best mes, my endless empathy" and "in the shade of how he was living" and "how much sad did you think I had in me?" just really fucking hit 😵‍💫🥴

[phoebe-delia]

Phoebes did you notice that most of the song prompts are odd numbers? I just think it's kind of neat! But for some lovely chaos in the stats, let us please have song no. 10? Also your doing this is a wonderful gift to the world and I adore you so so so so much

@rockingrobin69, Robin, my darling, hello. First of all, I'd noticed that the first ten or so were mostly odd numbers, but after you pointed it out, I realized how many odd-numbered ones I'd done! How funny. Also, before I get to tell you what song you've selected, I want to say that you and your writing are the true gifts and the feeling is very much mutual, my love. I cannot thank you enough for your constant love, support, and friendship. I absolutely adore you. <3

Another funny thing, Robin, is that you've managed to now select two out of my top three all-time favorite songs by Taylor Swift. (song prompt 3 was, ironically, my 3rd favorite TS song: "it's time to go.") But here, you've requested song 10, which is my number 1 favorite Taylor song of all time: "All Too Well."

The trouble is, I've already written one fic to this before. But no matter! I will persevere. This is technically a sequel to the original fic, but you don't have to have read it to understand this one! It is highly likely when the 10-minute version of All Too Well comes out that I will write a fic to that, but since it's not out yet, here's this. CW: post-breakup, potion/substance addiction, bad coping mechanisms, potions overdose; but there's a hopeful/happy ending!

Paralytici Memorias means "paralyzed memories" in Latin, if Google Translate is to be believed. And finally, an enormous, gigantic thank you to my big sis @avenueofesc for making this coherent and much better.

It wasn't a substitute by any means. It would never replace what it was made to mimic. In some ways, it was hopelessly inadequate.

But it was all he had: just the potion and his memories. If Draco's mind insisted on torturing him by reliving the best moments of his life in sepia-toned images, at least this way he could delay the crushing reality a little while longer.

Paralytici Memorias was his greatest triumph and biggest mistake. At first, he blamed it on completing his due diligence; every good potioneer should know and test the effects of their potion.

But then one test turned into two. Before he knew it, Draco spent the better part of his days coming in and out of deep periods of sleep, reaching for the vial every time his eyes opened to the sight of his empty flat, his engagement band on the coffee table next to him.

He wondered what Astoria would say if she could see him now. If their current level of communication as soon-to-be-weds was any indication, their marriage contract was more of a business venture than a romantic one.

After all, as long as he had a pulse, sperm for insemination, and a sound enough mind to sign over half his vaults, he'd have done his duty as her future husband as far as she was concerned.

"You'll forget about me, I promise."

His own words—written on the parchment he'd sent off with his owl before he could stop himself—were burned into his memory. He still remembered the searing pain in his chest as he promised the love of his life that what they'd had could be forgotten. In breaking Harry's heart, and in shattering his own, his only consolation was knowing that Harry would be happy eventually; that Harry would move on and find someone with the freedom to love him the way he deserved, someone who could offer the intangible riches in which Draco had always been impoverished.

As he reached for the vial that afternoon, it was to remind himself of the priceless love he sold for the price of his heart.

The potion’s effect was hazier than a Pensieve, but this way he could see the memories from his own point of view; could relive it in his own skin. Still, his mind couldn't do justice to Harry's eyes, the bright sound of his laughter, the warmth of his skin.

They were in Harry's car, the name of which Draco had never bothered to learn, too terrified and fascinated by the contraption. He yelped when Harry took a hand off the wheel to grab Draco's shaking one in a reassuring squeeze.

"Hands on the wheel, Potter!"

"I've got it under control, love. You watched me put the protection spells on the car myself, and it would be perfectly safe even without them. I promise I won't let anything happen to you," Harry said without an ounce of condescension.

Draco exhaled shakily, "If you say so."

"I do. Now, why don't you tell me a little more about where we're going?"

"Have you forgotten already? Honestly, Potter, your memory is abysmal."

"I haven't forgotten. I just like hearing you talk."

Draco valiantly didn't blush. And while he described the beauty of the Cotswolds, he found himself mesmerized at the red and orange leaved trees that lined the road as they drove out of the city and into the peaceful countryside, with its steady beeping noise.

Wait…that wasn't right. Why was it beeping?

"Potter, there's something wrong with the car."

"Draco?"

He squeezed his eyes shut tight before he opened them, blinking as the unfamiliar room came into focus. He could feel his pulse pounding in his head as his mind raced in a heady mix of confusion and anxiety. What happened? Why wasn't he in his flat?

"You're in St. Mungos."

Draco's head nearly snapped as he turned to look at a pale-faced Harry sitting in the chair next to his bed. Near Harry stood an unfamiliar woman scribbling on a clipboard. She reached over onto a side table and handed Draco a paper cup. The water was cool, a relief for his parched, sandpaper throat.

"Mr. Malfoy, how do you feel?" She asked after he handed the cup back to her.

Draco closed his eyes to stop the room from spinning. "My head is killing me and I'm dizzy, but I'm okay. What happened?"

"Your fiancée found you unconscious in your flat. We completed a blood test and couldn't match the substance to anything we know—"

"I invented it," Draco grumbled. "Where is Astoria? Harry, what are you doing here?"

The healer pressed her lips together. "I'll leave you to gather yourself for a few minutes, but I'll be back soon to ask you more about that potion, and next steps from there, alright?"

Draco nodded. "Thank you, Healer...?"

She smiled. "I'm Healer Rostova. Press that pager if you need something, but otherwise, I'll be back in a little while." With that, she left the room, the door clicking softly behind her.

Draco turned to Harry, who regarded him with wide, worried eyes. "What happened? Why are you here?"

Harry bit his lip. "Astoria found you unconscious on your couch. She brought you here and then she, well...She called me."

"She—what?"

"She called me. She said you were in the hospital, and I didn't really think much beyond Apparating here."

"Why did she call you?"

"She said you were...talking in your sleep."

Draco blushed. "Oh."

"Yeah," Harry let out a humorless, breathy chuckle. "She figured it out, I think. She said to tell you that she's having her parents terminate the contract."

Draco closed his eyes, letting his head thud against the headboard and then instantly regretting it, gritting his teeth against the sharp pain. "Great. I bet Mother's furious."

"She'll come around."

"You don't know that. You don't know her."

"No, I don't, but hopefully she'll want you to do what makes you happy."

Draco clenched his jaw and looked away. "Happiness is easier to manage when it's artificial. I ran away from the only thing that ever brought me close to real happiness. I can't handle it."

"Then let's manage it together."

Draco closed his eyes, kept his head turned.

"Draco, look at me."

Slowly, Draco forced himself to look at Harry, opening his eyes to let the other man see the tears beginning to well.

Harry's expression was as pained, yet kind. "Do you have any idea how agonizing it has been to miss you?"

Draco's chest seized, sharp with regret. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I thought it was what's best for both of us, I—"

"Shhh," Harry leaned forward, rubbing a soothing hand over Draco's. "We'll make it okay. We'll figure this out together, alright?"

Draco kept his eyes open, let himself enjoy happiness in full color. "Okay. Together."

Send me an ask about Harry Potter, broadway/musicals, The West Wing, and/or Taylor Swift! Or just about life in general :).

Also, I have a playlist of my 99 most listened-to songs of the year so far. Pick a number 1--99 and send me an ask and I'll write you a fic based on it!

[everafterkeiji]

Song: Paper Rings by Taylor Swift

Summary: Hanamaki finally seals your fate by proposing to you- with a crappy ring that is.

Pairings: Takahiro Hanamaki x fem! reader

Word count: 6.9k

Genre: absolute fluff and crack, curse words

A/N: not me screaming when i had this idea, I've never felt more single in my life- brb bawling my eyes out- also let's pretend their in the same classes✋

Well, fate isn't something to be entirely trusted upon and neither should Hanamaki.

"Aw, shit."

He cusses when you bump into him, considering his incredibly tall figure, you were caught off guard on who you even crashed into. A small clink sound lands on the floor as you immediately face the boy who was looking at the ground, quite weirdly searching his pockets.

"Sorry- wait you're Hanamaki right?" You asked him, familiar with his hair color. You've seen him play countless of times due to the support of the school for each of their games yet you've never been this close with him. With his state, you immediately question what's got him so frantic.

He eyes the pen that was dead on the floor and he pouts before crouching down to reach it before he dusts off the dirt on it. He opens the cap of it before mindlessly writing on his hand and frowning even more when the ink didn't held its usual consistency- every stroke of a word had it loosing its pigment.

"Man, 'Kawas gonna kill me." He sighs before putting his hands and pen in his pocket as he looks at you surprised. How can he dismiss that he'd bump into you? He immediately bows in a way to apologize to you, completely forgetting that you were the one to hit him.

You knew he was pertaining to the well known setter but you were solely confused in what he was so worried about. Looking at the pen in his pocket, you saw how the ink was full but there were black spillage in the inside. You raise your eyebrow in confusion.

Did he just drop a new pen?

"I'm sorry I dropped your pen- I can let you borrow mine." You propose to him as he takes the pen in his hands admiring it like a wound in someone's arm. Seeing how you were scrambling in your bag to reach for your pencil case, his eyes sparkled at how it contained numerous pens, highlighters and mechanical pencils.

"Looking at the murder you caused, I'm simply asking for more than one pen then."

You tilt your head in curiosity but instead you opened your pencil case as he digs his hand in there picking three pens making you want to scoff at how he picked the gel pens that were your favorite. He looked at each one, writing on his palm if everything was working. He raises an eyebrow at you making you question if this was a fever dream because of how random it was- he acted like he was in a stationary section and it benefitted him that this particular section was free.

He then takes your hand causing you to internally yelp at his actions. Your eyes trail to what he was writing, you noticed it was his name instead. You look up at him as he smiled. Once he finishes writing, he extends his hand out while with the other hand held a pen ready for you to take.

"What's your name?" He asks processing on your features and asking himself why he's seen you dozens of times yet he's yet to get your name.

"Y/N." You say as he gestures for his hand as if telling you to write it. Somewhat following your instincts, you write your name on his hand. After it, he peeks the spelling of it and then casually shakes your hand as introduction.

"See you around, Y/N! You saved my ass with those pens so I guess I owe you one."

"Those are expensive."

"Now hold on there-"

That was how you met and the universe couldn't even joke about how they put you two together.

Now here you two are, invested in a stare off as Matsukawas sleepy eyes often switch his gaze between you and his best friend.

"Makki, it's in a week."

"I specifically remember it's the week after that."

"You two are hopeless." Issei comments making you laugh as Makki pouts at how you agreed with him. Nevertheless, Matsukawa leans his head on his arm ready to fall asleep at any moment. You return to arranging your notes while Makki twirls a pen in his hands while glancing at you once in a while.

Truth be told, it seems that fate still worked its way to the both of you. Ever since your-rather unique- encounter, a friendship was bound to happen. He surely made an impression on you and how could you miss to not be around him? Soon enough, you were also introduced to his teammates and you disliked how it strengthened your bond with him. There was comfort in his presence and to see him fool around with his teammates always radiated an amazing energy between you and him.

You also wanted to thank Oikawa for being somewhat the reason your conversation led to where you are now.

"What'd the pen do to make you this- scared?" You asked as he puts both hands behind his head, leaning on the seat.

"It's a scary pen when it belongs to Oikawa." You turn to him confused as you rest your chin on the palm of your hand, ears perking up at how interesting it was.

"You're telling me you don't own a single pen and you always borrow Oikawas?" He scoffs with a smile before looking at you.

"Of course I bring pens, it's just better if it was from him." You let out a loud laugh, finding it hard to believe this was the sole reason Oikawa would commit murder on him. Hanamaki smiles at the sound of your laugh before shaking his head, at awe at the situation.

It was a coincidence how Oikawa always found a way to strike a nerve to Hanamaki when you visit them in the gym. He knew that beyond his teammates calm composure was a boy who undoubtedly likes you. Ever since Hanamaki returned the pen to him, he knew it wasn't his and in his mind, he asked himself who could've lent him a pen, more so that he had three brand new ones.

So when he sees you tagging beside him, he's taken his first lead to figure the two of you out. After a few more observations, he's convinced that you two were just blind to the feelings that were lingering around.

He's told Iwaizumi about it but all he got was a lecture on how he should let Hanamaki take it easy with asking you out. Which he also argued since it was taking too long, making Iwaizumi land him a smack to the head.

He had his boundaries, maybe not for himself, but for his friends he was more than willing to wait for this relationship to come together.

-

"So- a date? That's cool right? I mean arcades and shit."

"Makki, you're a loser."

"Arcades are awesome shut up."

"Yeah, for sure. Like Y/N is interested in 'arcades and shit'." Mattsun chuckles as Hanamaki lets out another pout as he sinks in his bed.

"I mean- we've gone on hang outs, she likes them anyway!" He argues making Mattsun shake his head with an amused smirk on his lips.

"So you're telling me you've actually had dates with her then?" Issei asks as Hanamaki shrugs making the other boy groan at the lack of response. Hanamaki raises his head, pursing his lips at the actual thought.

You have actually gone on multiple dates with him. If you could even call it that. To Makki, he thought they were just subtle friendly things but he realizes how he's actually grown some fondness in each place.

"Y/N no I'm telling you- if I were the mastermind, we'd be successful." He argues before taking a sip from his drink. You rolled your eyes as you let your mind ran through the scenarios of having a heist with him and the boys.

You two just finished a heist movie and now you had to endure Makkis fantasies of how it would go down if the characters were him and the rest of the volleyball team. He was so invested in it that you actually had an entire plot and characterization for each teammate.

He argued that he'd be the best mastermind to ever conjure a plan for a heist. A stealthy ninja is what he says he mimics. You tried to argue that Iwaizumi would be good at it, since you noticed how responsible and at control he was but it had Hanamaki listing his reasons.

"No one would ever notice me! Because you know what- their attention would be on Oikawa! Then boom, get in the getaway car with a shit ton of money and thanks to who? Me of course." You let out a laugh making him stop his occupied thoughts to take a look at you. He adores the sound of it too much, especially since he was the usual cause of it. He sees the way you were wiping your eyes with the scenarios he'd told you.

Then your laughter slowly fades when you started to eat again as Makki admires you and how you've effortlessly got his mind to set more dates just to see you this happy.

You look up from your previous position, looking at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Wait, where am I in the heist then?"

He looks at you, almost blurting out the initial idea he had for you in this specific role.

Honestly, I'd spend the money on you. Take you anywhere you wanted to go, Y/N.

That was what he wanted to say but his mouth translated it to a different saying.

"You could die-"

"Makki!" You shouted playfully, ruffling his hair. He laughs but unknowingly, his hand lands on top of yours when you sat back down.

"Excuse you, I can be a good distraction and assistance for action." You commented making him scoff.

"Yeah like you'd be able to hold a gun for a second."

"Please, I had Oikawa beg me to delete a photo of him."

"Okay maybe you are powerful."

You laughed once again, not even feeling how right it was for you to be holding hands like this. It felt comforting yet it brought your heart to speed up like it was in a marathon. You wondered if Makki felt the same, or was this another act of friendliness?

"I wouldn't want you to get hurt though." He whispers, making you smile and blush at the same time. As if it was another point on the score board for how many times he's had your heart go on a frenzy.

"Well, that's what the great mastermind is for right? To keep us safe and succeed?" You say, making him give a gentle squeeze to your hand, as you glanced down on them enjoying the way it looked.

As if I'm gonna let anyone lay a hand on you, Y/N. You're safe with me always.

After a few sly times where he'd hold your hand while you crossed the street or even tugging on your jacket when passing through a huge crowd so he doesn't lose you, he's realized he would absolutely drop the stars for you. He doesn't know whether he should feel terrified because of how he could put your friendship at risk but then he feels- almost relieved that the first person he could ever love is you.

It shouldn't even be difficult to ask you to hang out. You'd usually respond a second after he asks you, it's not even that big of a deal.

Now it's different.

He's finally gotten a clutch on his feelings and he thinks about his next moves. He often just let things happen, loving the way the moments just flowed naturally and perfect in some way but now he's choosing his words since he didn't plan on confessing in such a dorky way- especially when he just says it out loud without proper practice.

"Why don't you ask Oikawa for help then?" Issei suggests making the boy shake his head at the thought already.

"Do you know how much blackmail that idea comes with? He'll never live it down." Hanamaki says as he scrolled through his phone, almost frowning at the thought of humiliation coming from their captain.

"C'mon! He knows a lot of shit about flirting and dates! Maybe even help you in confessing, idiot."

He thinks about that deeply. Each member of the team would have completely diverse answers. As of the mean time, the only proper suggestions he'd get is from Iwaizumi, Oikawa and Mattsun. Though Mattsun has given him plenty of advices, he knew Oikawa was at the top for someone's idea of romance. The man has fangirls, he's obviously heard and experienced many hopeless romantic scenes in his life.

Iwaizumi would've actually been a lot of help knowing the guy is very good at maintaining control and responsibility. He'd give the proper date ideas, the mood to set. He looked like the perfect blueprint for Hanamaki to copy. He also believed that Iwaizumi would think nothing of these advices so it's a win-win if you ask him.

"Right, okay. I got this."

-

"Why me though?" Iwaizumi asks as Hanamaki spikes another ball.

"Look Iwa- I genuinely trust your judgment more. I just need help." Iwaizumi chuckles before collecting another ball.

"Fine fine. Just meet me after practice."

Hanamaki cheers when he hears him, even smiling now that he can figure out a way to show you how much he likes you.

Sure, he's doing it unintentionally sometimes. Tiny signs that should show you how he is absolutely in love with you. He'd show this in various ways as well. It comes as an instinct in some way. He'd hit you with a "let's have lunch" and you'd gladly accept. Mattsun has pointed out that Makki has already made a move on you countless of times but it had Makki questioning the depths of being friendly and going through courting you.

You haven't even made things official yet these so-called dates had your classmates wondering how your relationship started, even if it hasn't. Makki would always lean his head on your shoulder during lunch, to rest his brain from the lessons. For you, it's nothing. Makki has always been like this after you got comfortable with each other. This affectionate side of him even had Mattsun wonder why on Earth would he ask for help when he clearly doesn't need it.

The three of you are now seated in a lecture, boredom crossing your minds but Mattsun's mind was rattled by Hanamaki. After their conversation about asking help from Oikawa, he thought that Makki would actually go through the plan. Looking back on his motives with you, he just doesn't see a reason why he needs assistance from the setter. He can handle this all on his own, so scribbling down on a piece of paper, he throws it to Hanamaki who awakens by the action.

Hanamaki yawns as he opens the crumpled paper, his eyes widening and cheeks heating at the group of words.

'You can literally just confess to her now, even without shittykawa.'

He glares at Mattsun while the other boy shrugs with an expression that says "seriously, it's not that deep." He huffs before grabbing a pen and replying to his previous statement, then throwing it again.

'Try confessing to the girl you like during a lecture, Sherlock.'

Mattsun chuckles as Makki crosses his arms in front of his chest. His eyes land on you, who is fixated on the lecture. He smiles softly at the idea of a date with you, but this faint moment was ruined when Mattsun directly throws the ball of paper to Hanamakis face, earning a chuckle from some of his classmates.

He opens with eyebrows furrowed, annoyed at the shot.

'Not now dumbass, after classes. Just go up to her and say you like her, it's that easy dude.'

Hanamaki turns to him mocking his words while Mattsun rolls his eyes as Makki writes again. As he was about to throw the paper in Mattsuns direction, a student raised their hand hitting the paper and it suddenly landed on the floor beside you instead. The boys had their eyes widen as you saw the paper.

In a flash, Hanamaki picks up the piece of paper before you could grab a hold of it and you let out a gasp when he suddenly appeared in front of you. You blinked at him as he slowly walked away, wide eyed, to avoid conflict with the teacher.

You and Mattsun share a look together as you looked away, utterly speechless at what just happened. When you looked away, Mattsun hides his laughter by stuffing his face in his arm as Makkis cheeks never grew out of its red shade.

Meanwhile, Mattsun finally held a memory that he can never forget.

-

"It's not a big deal. You guys have been friends for so long. I don't think Y/N would mind." Iwaizumi comments making Hanamaki silent.

Can you really feel the same way?

A year of knowing you- should that be enough to fall in this deep? Is there even a requirement before someone can confess? Because in a span of time knowing you, there wasn't a moment where he regretted anything. He could thank the universe for one stupid pen, maybe even Oikawa. Everything that led to where you are now, he's never been more contented in his life.

During movies, your favorite spot was to lean your head on his shoulder. To just sling your arm around his waist on the way home, holding his hand while walking through crowds, it just fits. No matter where you were, what you were doing with him, it seemed like there wasn't an extra space in the puzzle pieces, it all connected.

But you two couldn't figure it out for yourselves.

"Well, does every confession need some sort of grand gesture?" He asks Iwaizumi. The ace bites his lips before kicking a rock on the path he was walking on.

"I don't really know. What does Y/N like anyway?"

"Hopefully me." Hanamaki jokes, but he deeply wanted it to be real. He figures if all of this asking for help was going to guarantee him something good, better yet, a yes from your lips. But first, he had to answer Iwaizumis question.

"She likes simple things- you know how she likes it when I like hold her stuff and all? She also likes those weird food thingys at one date-or hang out we had- you know that scent that reminds you of a romance movie-"

"Makki, you know her this well and you're nervous for nothing. I'm sure that she'll love whatever you do- you're friends for a reason." Iwaizumi says making Hanamaki sigh, hearing those words again.

"Exactly! That's the problem. Fuck- I can't even act like I don't like her. Am I being too obvious or friendly? I don't know where the line ends or starts. I shouldn't get nervous cause it's her- she doesn't care what I do- she's happy with whatever but I just want it to be.. perfect." He rants and ends it with a tired sigh. God, he was getting frustrated. At this point his feelings were overwhelming him, he just needed an outlet for it.

He can't just act like the sight of your smile doesn't make him smile as well, or even just seeing your sleepy state when you walk into class. If his heart didn't flutter whenever you were around, maybe by then you couldn't call it admiration but he just fell and there wasn't a way to stop him.

He didn't wanna stop either.

-

"Mattsun." You say as Mattsun lets out another laugh as you roll your eyes. It was after practice and since Takahiro couldn't walk you home because he told you he had to talk to Iwaizumi about something, Issei was the one to walk you home.

"This is gold." He states making you shove him a bit. He smiles when he sees you pout. This is where he decides. He could literally say how Hanamaki was asking him for advices like you are right now, but a side of him just wants to see what Makki could do. It was all too funny for him, even if hated how oblivious you two were.

If Hanamaki was falling for you with each day, you did the same. It was inescapable. You met him during second year and the fact that he had you tugging on your heart strings, it was something you can't ignore.

"What exactly are you doing?"

"I'm studying, 'Hiro. What's up?" You asked him as he raised an eyebrow at you. You stopped writing to look at him fully.

"We're at a mall." He states like you didn't know. It was bizarre to go to a mall cafe and your purpose was to study when you were with the spontaneous Hanamaki. That's on you for getting distracted on your strict teachers subject.

"Yes, Makki. I know that." He lets out a pft then takes the notebook of yours, closing it. Even putting on the caps of your pens and placing them back in your pen pouch. He also grabs your bag and placing all of those items inside.

You didn't stop him though. You've had enough with 'studying either way'. You'd die if saw how you weren't even taking notes, you were actually writing about how beautiful his eyes were. You were just purely lucky that he didn't care what you were writing because he thought it was about school.

"Happy now?" You asked him as he nods with a childish grin.

"Super. Let's go, cutie." Your eyes widened with his statement so you turn your head away to sling the backpack on your shoulder but he stops you before you could.

He removes his hoodie and hands it to you, making you stare at him.

"What for?"

"It's hot- well duh it's cold, Y/N. C'mon I wanna go to cinema. " He says nonchalantly as you take the hoodie and wear it. What causes you to stop midway was when he pulled down your blouse to prevent it from rising up when you wore his jacket. After placing your arms in, you blushed at minimal gesture.

It made Hanamaki let out a cough, when he did it like a reflex, not even thinking about it.

"Cutie huh?" You teased making him roll his eyes, though he was thankful that you broke the silence.

"Yeah no shut it."

There were many more memories that could list out why you liked him but maybe they just held the same reason.

"Leave him a note then if you can't say it in person." Mattsun suggests, even though he wishes he could've said something else. He doesn't know if that was a good suggestion or not. This could ruin whatever Makki was planning on doing. He should ask him about his plan later on so he can tell you what not to do in order for his best friend to succeed.

You reached the front of your house as you gave Issei a hug, to thank him. He pats your hair as your pull away from him.

"Hey, you've got this. It's you and Makki." He says smiling, assuring you. You nod at him as you sent a wave, him doing the same then walking away.

When you entered your room, your phone rang. Seeing Makkis name light up your room had you answering it in a heartbeat.

"Makki, what's up?"

"Hey, I just called to say I'm sorry I couldn't walk you home today. " He says running his fingers through his hair. He did want to walk with you but he trusted Mattsun. He couldn't waste the time Iwaizumi gave him for advice.

"It's fine, 'Hiro. Mattsun and I are fine." He smiles at what you said, while you left your phone on the nightstand you decided to change out of your uniform. While Makki decides on what to say next.

"Hey Y/N?" He calls for you, once you were done dressing up, you took the phone lying down on your bed.

"Yeah?"

"Wanna go out, for real this time?"

"I'm gonna go sleep." He says, biting his tongue, despising how he couldn't say it. He hears you yawn on the other end of the line.

"That's a lie but night Makki Makki!" You said chuckling as his ears turned red at the nickname. He shakes his head with a smile.

"Goodnight, dumbie."

"Hey! I called you a decent nickname."

"Wow okay then. Goodnight, princess."

Hold up, he said what?

I said that?

He quickly ends the call before you could let out a comment on what he just said. A wave of panic rushes to him not knowing your reaction. You covered your face with the pillows the surrounded you, letting out a frustrated scream.

Fuck.

-

The morning comes and Hanamakis heart was racing like he going to attend a deadly match but in reality he was just going to confess. He's set all the things that he needed for today, mostly the materials but he himself wasn't nearly as ready.

He's going to wear a uniform. How the fuck do you make that look presentable and polished? Should he wear a new hoodie for you to wear afterwards? Just- how?

He's been staring at himself for too long then he hears his parents call for him saying that Mattsukawa was at his front porch. He sighs before grabbing his bag and heading out of his room.

"So you ready?" Issei asks as Hanamaki shrugs. He wanted it to end right away but then again he wants things to slow down while he sees your reaction when does it.

"Fuck no. Iwaizumi helped me with a few things, he said something about gifts so I searched for some." Mattsukawa nods, as he thinks about what you were up to. Can it actually happen now? The two idiots would finally have the guts to confess on the same day?

"Honestly, this will be very entertaining. What time?"

"I was thinking kind of like after school." He says making Mattsukawa agree with him. It benefits the both of you. Never in a rush to admit, it could also give Makki some time to accomplish some of his plans.

"Do you think it'll go ok?" Hanamaki asks, almost nervous for his answer. Mattsukawa only smiles, knowing the possible ending.

"Yeah."

-

Betrayer. Oikawa thinks.

He lets out a pout of annoyance and when he spots you, he immediately walks over to you before Hanamaki could.

"Morning Oikawa! Have you seen-"

"Y/N-chan! I'll walk you to class today!" He says sweetly making you question in what was going on. He sees you peer your head over his shoulder, looking for Hanamaki which made him scoot a bit so your vision was blocked. Realizing that Hanamaki probably hasn't arrived yet, you shrugged.

"Okay, Tooru."

As Oikawa slings his arm around your shoulder, he could feel Takahiros stare as he walked with you. Even Iwaizumi had to double take on what he just saw.

"What's with him?" Hanamaki asks, feeling a slight burn in his heart when he sees you laughing with the pretty setter.

"I don't know, maybe he's just bugging her." Iwaizumi comments, making Makki roll his eyes. Mattsun takes notice of his behavior and lets out a chuckle.

"Aww, seriously. It's Oikawa! He's not going to steal your girl." Hanamaki blushes at his words and the boys eye his reaction, making them laugh at the change. Makki rolls his eyes before letting out a sigh, an act as if to reassure himself that things would go according to plan.

When Makki enters the room and meets your eyes, you already flash him a smile gesturing for him to seat with them. Oikawa sends a glare in his way making Mattsun lazily raise an eyebrow to the setter. Oikawa turns his attention to you once again, his chin on his palm as he stares at you.

"You're so pretty Y/N-chan! Wouldn't want that to go to waste do we?" Your ears couldn't really believe what you just heard. A sea of gasps echoed through the room when the compliment left Oikawas mouth. Murmurs of how luck you were started to spread and Makki was stood frozen.

"Flirting with my best friend isn't cute, shittykawa." Hanamaki comments, a distinct tone in his voice that didn't sound all too jokingly. The word best friend rings in your head as you actually felt a strike to your heart with his words.

How can you confess like this when you're down to rejection?

You felt like Hanamaki gave you a wake up call. Is this really the farthest you could go? Just friends? You let out a sigh, suddenly throwing away your previous plans of admitting your feelings for him. You gripped the pen in your hand as you tried not to be controlled by the pain.

Mattsukawa sees how your hand was trembling, replaying what Makki said, he nudges the boy next to him who was busy giving a cold shoulder to Oikawa. Mattsukawa prays that Hanamaki realizes what he just said.

Hanamaki feels the harsh nudge of his best friend making him look your way, a downcast evident in your features. Before he could ask you what's got you upset, the teacher walks in making Oikawa and Iwaizumi leave. Oikawa passes by Hanamaki making the tension even more noticeable.

Mattsukawa grips Hanamakis arm, to stop his mouth from sending a snarky comment and to hold him back from a glare. Hanamaki sits in his usual place as he ponders on what's gotten you this down. Was it Oikawa? What did he tell you? Could it be something that included him?

He sincerely hopes it doesn't involve him or else his hearts going to keep aching with jealousy.

-

What the fuck?

That was the only question that lingered in Hanamakis head.

Throughout the day, he figured that he'd be able to avoid you without you knowing what he was doing but instead, he found himself getting distracted in the fact that you sat with Oikawa between breaks. He couldn't even focus where to put the gifts in, he's totally forgotten about his locker and the possibility of you finding about it makes him panic.

He just hated how he feels the envy consume him. It took him a while to not give in to it. He had to continue, if he didn't- he would cower away. He wasn't going to waste another chance because of Oikawa, he can promise you that.

"You think Oikawa knew something? Maybe he's actually stalling you." Mattsukawa suggests, to remind Hanamaki that he was sure the setter isn't a barrier to his plans.

"He said something to her- I just know it. She's distant with me." He says tiredly, Iwaizumi leans on his arm to whisper to Hanamaki.

"Maybe he figured out you were going to confess." Iwaizumi says shrugging, Hanamaki shakes his head.

Are you turning him down then if this was real?

A way to softly push him away and tell him that your friendship mattered more?

If this was the case, he's leading his heart to a trap.

And it went like this until Makki had to confront Oikawa, sick of the change in you. It was practice time so he had the setter to himself. He knew you were waiting for him so he decided to take matters into his own hands.

He just wanted to be yours already.

"Oikawa, what did you tell her?" He asks quietly. Even if his heart held its beat because of jealousy, he's sure that the boy he was talking to had no interest in you the same way he has. Oikawa has never shown you signs of love or any affection at all. Sure, it was fun to be around him but he looked at you as a friend, a company he can find comfort in but who's to say Makki doesn't feel nervous?

"I didn't tell her anything what are you talking about?" The boy answers making Makki sigh.

"She's avoiding me. It doesn't make sense then." Oikawa raises an eyebrow at Takahiros expression. He looked so- distraught. It starts to sink in him how the lack of your presence takes a toll on his friend and there was the tiny ounce of regret that hits his mind.

When he sees Hanamaki open his locker to reveal a boquet of flowers, his eyes widen. He then closes them immediately, cursing himself for the misunderstanding.

"Isn't that what you were supposed to give Aika?" He asks, his throat dwelling with nervousness. Hanamaki furrows his eyebrows, evidently confused in how their classmate who he is even close to, got dragged into the situation.

"What-"

"Shit."

"Oikawa!"

-

I hate running.

He says to himself whie doing it, he's never ran this fast before. God, now everything was at rush. He had to pack his things immediately, make sure the sweat didn't cling to him like it did. He even had to rummage through his locker to make sure everything was inside his bag. Mattsukawa was also frantic. Iwaizumi was calm enough to knock some sense into Oikawa after Hanamaki tells the news on what exactly happened.

So here he was running to your neighborhood, flowers and all because he'd be dumb enough to be the guy in Oikawas misunderstood scenario.

"Oikawa!"

"Wait okay fuck I'm sorry- I might have heard something wrong earlier." He says, a hand to the back of his neck. Hanamaki isn't sure if he should feel relieved that Oikawa doesn't have any admiration towards or feel the fucking rage to strangle him for whatever led to this.

"What exactly did you hear anyway?"

"I can't just give the flowers to Aika. I can't act like an admirer of hers, I have to confess to her myself." Hanamaki says sighing as Iwaizumi and Mattsukawa nods.

Oikawa turns his back on the trio as he frowns at the idea of you and Hanamaki not being a couple. It seems that his friendly gestures didn't actually hold anything else, he'd fallen for Aika instead. Though he feels slightly pissed that Hanamaki led you on in some sort of way.

Once he sees you, he immediately goes your way in order for you to not witness the heartbreak that was about to unfold.

"Oikawa, I was planning to confess to Y/N. Mattsukawa suggested that I try to give her the flowers anonymously at first by letting Aika bring it to her but like I said, I didn't wanna look like an unknown loser." Hanamaki lets out a puff of annoyance as Oikawa rests his hand on the boys shoulder, now that tiny ounce of guilt grew and grew.

"I'm really really sorry, Makki." He says sincerely, Hanamaki sighs before nodding at Oikaws, accepting his apology knowing Iwaizumi could lecture the boy after his slip up.

"I need to go to Y/N now." He says but Kindaichi looks at his teammate with a water bottle in hand.

"Y/N-san left hours ago." He says as Hanamaki sends a glare towards Oikawa then he looks at Kunimi just to confirm Kindaichis statement. Kunimi nods before returning back to his unbothered state. Hanamaki lets out a scream of frustration as he dashes towards Mattsukawa and Iwaizumi, Oikawa being dragged along by his shirt.

"Oi, did you two fight?"

"Long-story short he thought I was giving the flowers to Aika. Now please, lecture the damn asshole- I need to find Y/N." He basically hands Oikawa to Iwaizumi who already landed a ball to the captains head as he runs off to his locker to leave immediately.

He could never adore someone else when you remained to stay at the top of his list- since no other name follows it.

He pats down his sweat with a towel before drinking water then spraying his cologne all around him. He was in front of your room door since your parents gladly invited him in while he mentions to be quiet at the sight of the boquet of flowers in hand and now it's finally happening. He was either going to face a prize or a bucket of tears.

Here goes nothing then.

He knocks on the door as you continued to scroll through your phone but you spoke, "It's open!"

He opens it softly, before stepping in your room, closing the door in the process. You look up from your phone only to get the life knocked out of you when you see Hanamaki.

"Hey Makki-"

"Y/N please I just need to tell you something okay."

He takes the vacant spot next to you on your bed as both your hearts pounded loudly with each second. Your mind couldn't stop racing at what he was going to say if it was just flat out rejection, meanwhile Hanamaki doubts what he bought you. He carefully takes your hand with his, caressing it gently while your cheeks were heating at the moment.

"Y/N I-"

You roll your eyes before ending the call, not even caring to know who called. Meanwhile, Makki wanted to stop himself from coughing from the embarrassment.

The phone rings. Oh, fuck me.

"Go on- really sorry." You say with a slight chuckle, as he smiles, thankful you read the room at how nervous he was. Instead, he went to his bag to find a certain box. Once he finds the blue box, he takes your palm and places the object on it.

You smiled at him you opened the box, praying that you don't let out a squeal when you see what's inside.

"Paper rings?" You say chuckling as Hanamakis eyes widen, threatened to pop out of his sockets since he was in full disbelief. You laughed as Hanamaki tried to get the back from you but you ran from your bed to wear the damn thing.

"Y/N!" He yells trying to reach the box from your hands but your laughter echoes through the room.

You're too fucking cute for me. You think to yourself.

"It's a perfect fit on me, Takahiro." You say even holding out your hand with the paper ring as Hanamaki hides his face on a pillow, an attempt to hide the humiliation. He can never bounce back from this. Where was the actual matching rings that he bought? The one with yours and his initials were embedded on? Did he leave it on his desk when he was trying to figure out your ring size? He was truly fucked.

When you tried to reach for him, the ring broke since it was surrounded by tape and it didn't really held strength to it. Realizing that it was folded paper, you opened it seeing scribbles and doodles from Makki.

Y/N's ring size is 6 maybe 7?

Get the flowers that Iwaizumi suggested. Which flower was it again? The ones that symbols love? Fuck it.

Does she prefer me with this perfume or not?

She smells amazing all the time, I hate it.

God, I like her too much it's unbelievable.

I feel like I'm proposing to her but I'm not complaining.

You immediately drop the paper to look at him, switching your gaze between him and the paper. You hid your face in your hands as you wondered if this was actually reality. Hanamaki likes you back? Proposing? It was overwhelmingly cute.

Hanamaki lifts his head from the pillow and he sees you looking like you were embarrassed for him. He immediately goes to you, hands on yours as he tries to lift them off your face.

"Do you want me to kiss it better?" He teases, hopefully it was able to grab your attention, and it did. You slap his chest from how flustered you were as he laughs before taking you in his arms, playing with your hair as your mind goes blank.

"Okay maybe the secret is out but I'm serious, Y/N. I like you- so fucking much it makes me wanna buy all the shit you want if we succeed in a heist- and I never wanna stop feeling this. The ring is crappy but I've got the actual one in my room so" He pulls away from your embrace as he lifts your chin to meet with his face who was intoxicatingly close.

"Do you accept my proposal of being my girlfriend?"

"If I said no?" You teased with a smile as he chuckles before locking his lip with yours, his hand finding its way to your cheek as you immediately kiss back, the pieces finally clicking in its rightful place. He deepens the kiss as your hand finds its way to the nape of his hair, pulling him closer while his own hands make a trip to your waist who he soon finds addicting.

He pulls away, caressing your cheek as your forehead touched, smiles plastered on either faces.

"I gladly accept, 'Hiro."

"Not like I'll take no for an answer, princess."

[the-witty-pen-name]

Peace

Mando x F!Reader

Warnings: lots of fluff, very vague mentions of violence, overall mostly sickening sweet 

Word Count: 2.7k 

A/N: This is my first ever imagine! I hope you enjoy. It’s very loosely inspired by the song Peace by Taylor Swift. Also not my original gif, credit to the maker!  

Mando’a Translations:

ni jate’kara = I’m so lucky

gar yaim’ner = You are my home

russ’ner = my rock

Summary: Din realized that he was in love with you on your 127th day onboard the Razor Crest. You were never supposed to be in his life that long. You were supposed to be a temporary passenger- nothing more than just a stop along the way. You were just a hitchhiker heading the same way. And now he can’t imagine how he survived so long without you.

Din realized that he was in love with you on your 127th day onboard the Razor Crest. You were never supposed to be in his life that long. You were supposed to be a temporary passenger- nothing more than just a stop along the way. You were just a hitchhiker heading the same way. And now he can’t imagine how he survived so long without you.

His son adored you from day one. The little green troublemaker wanting nothing but your attention when he could get it. That’s probably the main reason Din first decided to ask you to stay longer. He knew he needed someone to help him with the kid, and he couldn’t keep bringing him on his missions. You both settled on a plan for you to stay as a crew member of the Crest, your number one priority being Grogu. You learned from Mando many other things about the ship and quickly made his life so much easier.

It hit him faster than he could have ever realized. The honest realization that he’d been falling in love with you after all this time. It caused him to panic and to shut himself off. He knew life with him would never be easy. It was dangerous and messy- never any true sense of security. The Creed already causes so many restrictions he must insist you follow, and adding more to that list was a burden he would never want to impose on you. You were so unlike him in so many ways and he loved you for every single thing.

It was late at night and the Crest was parked in some armpit of the galaxy in need of repairs as usual. It frustrated Mando and it caused him so much stress. You were never one to let those negative emotions hold onto you the same way. It was nightfall and the planet was silent. The only noise was the sound of the kid waking up again for the third time that night. Mando awoke in his bunk, looking for the Child only to find him missing from the little hammock. In the darkness, he put on his helmet and left his bunk to find the source of the cries that filled the whole ship.

Careful to not wake you with his movements if the Child hadn’t woken you up already, he climbed up the ladder to the cockpit following the cries. He was cursing to himself silently wondering how the kid managed to sneak out of bed and into the upper level of the ship. Before opening the door, he heard the cries suddenly begin to calm down and he heard your voice on the other side of the sliding doors. He must’ve woken you up before Mando even heard the cries.

“Shh,” he heard you quietly calming the baby back to sleep. The sliding doors opened for him and he walked in. You were sitting in his chair, resting your feet up on the dash, and he held back the urge to tell you to stop. The Child was sitting comfortably on your lap, his back resting on your torso, as you pointed out stars to him in the night sky and told the folklore which corresponded to each constellation. Mando didn’t recognize the story, and honestly, he can’t remember now what it was anyways.

He was just so focused on you, and only now just realizing, how beautiful you truly were. Not just in appearances, but just as a soul- your whole being. You ability to care for Grogu and just how important your presence these months has been. He knew that you were aware of his presence, but instead of talking, he just took the copilot seat you normally occupied and listened to you talk. He watched how you gently stroked the kid’s head and how his big eyes grew heavy at your movements. Mando for the first time in months realized how much you were also like his family. It used to just be him and his son, and now accidentality you have become such an important part of their life.

As the baby slept in your arms, he wanted nothing more to stay just as you all were forever. It was a fantasy and to him, an entirely unattainable one at that. This life he leads doesn’t allow for a misfitted family such as his to ever work out in ways he would want. As he watched you and the kid, he let his mind wander to so many happy future memories the three of you would share. A cottage on a green planet, a little utopia for the three of you, all the worries of this current life just a fainted scar of a life once lived. He’d marry you, and finally have everything his life up until then he’d never gotten and then the ability to just give it all to you.

“I’ll bring him back to his bed,” you whisper quietly with a small smile. Your words breaking him out of his day dream. He nodded and you left, with the kid bundled snug in your arms. In the next few minutes, the darkest parts of his mind and the reminder of his harsh realities destroyed his dream just as quickly as he had imagined it.

Over the months, he confided in you so much. He shared his earliest memories and his life story. He taught you about the Way of the Mandolore and taught you a little bit of Mando’a. Now he felt exposed. He felt foolish for letting his guard down and letting you in his life. He could never be good enough. He could never imagine asking you to live this life, and he couldn’t imagine these feelings he felt to be reciprocated.

He was wrong. He had no idea how wrong he was to believe you wouldn’t want him. He had no idea how deeply you felt for him and longed to ease the pains of his troubled life in the ways you could. You had long ago come to accept every piece of his life he thought would scare you away. He knew you loved the Child but he had no idea how you loved him just as much. For you, you had fallen in love with the Mandolorian on the 86th day onboard the Razor Crest.

You both sat in your normal seats preparing for takeoff. Grogu sits cuddled up to your side and you hold him tightly. He plays with your hands and pulls a thin and round piece of metal out of his clothing. He slides it onto your middle finger on your left hand like a ring. It’s his own little way of giving you a gift. It resembled a ring, and it fit your hand like one. You realize it’s a piece stolen somewhere from the Razor Crest and you chuckle softly, looking down at your hand and the kid’s big smile. You whisper a thank you just for him to hear and you kiss his head. Since that day, you’ve never taken it off.

Mando had asked you about it later on that same day when he finally noticed. You and him were walking side by side away from the ship, heading into the town on the newest planet for food and supplies, and the kid following closely behind in the floating pram.

“Where’d you get the ring?” his modulated voice asked, his gloved hand gesturing to your hand.

“It was a gift from the kid,” you reply, holding it up proudly.

“Is it from the ship?” he questions, the helmet tilting.

“Probably,” you reply sheepishly. He nods and doesn’t question any further, which you appreciate. It would’ve broken your heart if he’d taken the part back to return to its rightful place somewhere in the ship. Mando realized the ship was so broken down anyway that a small piece as insignificant as that one wouldn’t matter and he much rather you keep it if it made the kid happy.

Once you reached the outskirts of the town, Mando gave you the credits you needed to complete the supply run and he separated from you and the kid to go after a bounty he had received a tip about the night before. You had a Commlink and knew you could reach him if anything happened. The kid accompanied you for the day, picking out food and also picking up medical supplies and other things that needed replenishing on the ship.

Once rations and other supplies were acquired, you safely returned to the Crest with the kid. You put everything away in its proper place, and spent a couple hours just playing and reading stories to the kid. You decided to get him a few story books while in town as well. As long as they were for the kid, Mando wouldn’t care about the additional purchases. Comfortable in his makeshift bed, you read him one of the stories until he had gone down for a nap. Shortly after he had fallen asleep, you realize how late it actually is and head to your own bunk.

You hear Mando return, and he must assume you both are sleeping already due to the darkness of the ship. You hear him just head straight to his bunk, most likely exhausted from the mission. You try to make a mental note to ask him how it went in the morning before you drift off to sleep. You’re only asleep for a couple of hours before you’re jolted awake from a horrible noise outside. Before you think of yourself, you’re getting out of bed to check on the kid. You meet Mando in the hallway, somehow already wearing his full armor.

“Stay with him,” he says, holding onto your shoulders. “There’s thieves outside the ship. Lock yourself in my bunk with him and I’ll take care of it. Just make sure you and him stay safe.”

You nod, following his plan. He grabs some of his weapons and waits until your locked in his bunk before opening the ship. The baby still was sound asleep, probably exhausted still from today. He didn’t even stir at the sound of blasters and fighting outside. You picked him up and laid down with him on Mando’s bad, holding him in close and keeping his ears guarded from the noise. You weren’t sure how long you were there, protecting the kid and just waiting in Mando’s bunk. Eventually, the noise outside had ceased and you heard Mando’s voice back in the Crest. You breathed out a deep sigh of relief, finally able to properly relax.

You couldn’t imagine what you would’ve done if something bad had happened. The thought of losing him was simply unbearable. Your eyes were heavy, and closing them felt like heaven within itself. You fully intended to return to your bunk when Mando arrived at the door, but for now you basked in the comfort of his bunk. In your hazed state, you let your mind drift on the worry you had felt, if you had lost him. It pained you more than you ever imagined. You hadn’t heard the door open, or did you hear him come into the small room. You only realized his presence when you felt a strong pair of arms wrap around you tightly, and you felt the coolness of the beskar helmet behind your head. It was in that moment had you realized you were absolutely smitten. You smiled to yourself, happy he was unaware how awake you were so you could enjoy the moment in peace.

His skin was soft, and so were the palms of his hands when he rested them on top of your own-his thumb carefully grazing the metal of the ring. His arm rested over your body and you felt his body relax behind you. This was the closest you had ever been to the man. You can’t call the Mandolorian a hugger, so up until that moment, unless he needed to touch you to keep you safe, he had never touched you. Now it was such an intimate moment as he held you and the kid in his arms. As you both drifted off to sleep, you realized how much you were in love with the masked man behind you.

Mando doesn’t confess his feelings until the 211th day. The craziness of your life had calmed down, at least by the standards of a life led by a Mandolorian bounty hunter, his magical green son and you. It was like you both had fallen into a domestic routine, keeping up the ship and taking care of the kid. Mando hadn’t gone on a mission in the past two months. You got accustomed to him being around more, and in your own way, you all began to feel like a real family.

The kid was playing with some new toys Mando had just gotten him when he left for the day to get rations. He played on the floor of the cockpit, Mando watching him silently from his chair and you were curled up in yours reading a novel.

It was the silence that only comes when two people understand each other.

Family that he chose.

Could this be enough for you?

“(Y/N)?” He said hesitantly, breaking the silence that had fallen over the ship.

“Yes?” You ask, looking up from the book you had been reading. You place the bookmarker in and then set it on a nearby surface. “What is it?”

“I can’t expect you to stay here forever, and I couldn’t ever bring myself to ask you to,” He begins and then stops suddenly. You can’t tell how much he’s shaking under the Beskar. “But I just… I feel like you have the right to know… and I know they go unreciprocated, and I don’t expect a response.”

“I need to know what?” You ask quietly. You become nervous yourself, hoping he isn’t asking you to leave.

“I- I’m in love with you,” he confesses solemnly. The tension in the room for him rises, completely exposing his emotions to you fully, for the first time since he’s realized them. “And… there’s so many things you deserve that I can’t give you, and I know that. This life… this is so unstable, and dangerous. There’s so many constant threats… and (Y/N) I can vow to protect you with my whole life… and that I know still isn’t good enough. I know those dangers follow me no matter what. I know you couldn’t love a man you’d never seen and I know this isn’t enough. There’s so many things I can offer, except that I can never give you peace…”

“Mando- “

“My name is Din.”

“Din,” you correct yourself, and he loves the sound of his name on your lips.

“Din Djarin.”

“Din, I love you too,” you confess, “and I love your son. I love you both so much. How could you even think I wouldn’t want you?”

You can feel him become more at ease, and you can’t see his face, but Din is smiling, ear to ear. His face is red, flushed to match the feelings of complete joy which had overpowered him. He’d throw away the Creed, be done with everything if you asked in to in that moment. He’d do anything to keep you looking at him how you were looking at him.

He pulled off his gloves and discarded them on the floor. He rushed to your side, knelt down in front of you, holding your hands tightly in his, like if he’d let go, you’d vanish. His thumb grazed over the ring on your hand, like it did every night he held you close in his bunk.

“(Y/N), ni jate’kara,” he whispered softly, the emotion of his voice only vaguely distorted by the modulator. “gar yaim’ner. Please close your eyes, russ’ner.”

You closed your eyes, and you heard the clicks of his helmet. He placed it on the floor next to him. He cupped the side your face gently with one of his hands, taking a moment to take in your beauty for the first time without the digital screen. He sighed. You were so stunning, and he just took in exactly how you looked in that moment, determined to remember every small detail of your skin. When he was ready, he connected his lips to yours for a tender kiss, the first shared testament of the love you shared together.

[signsofsam]

Buddie Week, Day Six: All We Know is Touch and Go

Eddie reaches over, forcing one of Buck’s hands out of his hair, wrapping it in both of his own. “We have to believe they're going to be okay.”

“But what if they’re not? Did I tell them I loved them before we left? Do they know we love them? Did I hug them enough? Did I-”

“Buck, just breathe, okay? Stop inviting trouble until we know more.”

“They’re back there all alone, Eddie. Our boys are alone,” Buck murmurs, turning to his husband, and he’s broken, eyes sad, and there are tears brimming, ready to be unleashed. “What if-”

Eddie shakes his head. “We’re not ‘what if’-ing this, Buck. We can’t. We hope for the best, and we wait for the doctor.” He kisses the back of Buck’s hand, and Buck lets out a breath, trying to center himself.

AO3 Link Here

Prompt: “Just breathe, okay?” + hurt/comfort

Notes: Title is from State of Grace by Taylor Swift. You can find the other stories in this ‘verse here and probably should read at least a few of them to know who the OMC is in this fic. Also: we are practicing suspension of disbelief and general magical handwaving over all the medical inaccuracies that are in here because a doctor/healthcare provider I am most certainly not.

And someone please let me know if Google Translate failed me anywhere.

--//--//--

They were just going to get ice cream.

It’s all Nate can focus on: they were just going to get ice cream, and Eddie and Buck are going to kill him, because now the truck is pressed against the concrete median of the highway, other crashed cars around them, and his blood’s splattering onto the seats and Chris won’t wake up. Would they send him back? 

They wouldn’t do that, would they? They...no, you know they love you, and this won’t change that.

But he’s gotten Chris hurt.

Fuck. Just fuck.

He really likes his family. 

He doesn’t want to go anywhere.

“N...Nate?” Chris whimpers, and he gasps, turning too quickly to look at his brother, and pain explodes in his head.

“Shit, shit, shit shit shit,” he breathes out, waiting for the pain to settle into something more manageable, so at least he can see. When he finally attempts to open his eyes again (and God, it hurts, but he has to check on his brother), Chris is watching him, worried, his right cheek red, bruising, a lazily bleeding laceration on his cheekbone. His glasses are gone, and there are more cuts peppering his face. There’s melted ice cream on his face (“I don’t see how you can eat that while I’m driving,” Nate had been complaining, just before the crash, and Chris had given him the biggest shit-eating grin as he took another huge bite of his mint chocolate chip), but for the most part, he looks okay.

Nate still can’t help but breathe out, “Buck and Eddie are going to kill me.”

Chris frowns, reaching over with an unsteady, shaky hand. “Did...did something hit your head?”

“What?”

“You’re talking nonsense, Nate. Did you hit your head?” 

“I got you hurt.”

Chris’ frown deepens. “No, you didn’t. A car hit us. You’re bleeding.”

“I know. I’m getting blood all over-”

Pain explodes again as sirens cut through the air, and this time, thankfully everything fades to black.

--//--//--//--

“They’re going to be just fine, Buck,” Eddie whispers. They’ve been waiting for a doctor for a few minutes, and honestly, they probably both look a mess, still in their uniforms, halfway through a shift and just getting back from a rather disgusting run when Athena called, and now Buck is sitting in a hard plastic chair, hunched over, hands clenching into his hair, foot tapping over and over and over, and through his own worry, it makes Eddie hurt. “We’re here now, and they’re going to be fine.”

He reaches over, forcing one of Buck’s hands out of his hair, wrapping it in both of his own. “We have to believe they're going to be okay.”

“But what if they’re not? Did I tell them I loved them before we left? Do they know we love them? Did I hug them enough? Did I-”

“Buck, just breathe, okay? Stop inviting trouble until we know more.”

“They’re back there all alone, Eddie. Our boys are alone,” Buck murmurs, turning to his husband, and he’s broken, eyes sad, and there are tears brimming, ready to be unleashed. “What if-”

Eddie shakes his head. “We’re not ‘what if’-ing this, Buck. We can’t. We hope for the best, and we wait for the doctor.” He kisses the back of Buck’s hand, and Buck lets out a breath, trying to center himself. 

“Is this what it was like? When Chris had to have surgeries when he was younger?”

“Every time,” Eddie answers. “We would be waiting, me, Shannon, Mom and Dad the one time I was gone-” he flinches here, and Buck squeezes his hand. “That one was the hardest, and I don’t think I”ll ever forgive myself for being gone. So yeah, the uncertainty and the worry and the fear...it’s always there, but now, now I have to believe it’s going to be okay. I have to, and you have to, even though we’re scared shitless.”

“I couldn’t imagine not having you here to share the weight,” Buck murmurs. “I’m really glad we’re here together. It makes it so much easier to bear.”

They don’t have to wait much longer, thank god, because Eddie’s about to press against Buck’s knee to settle his leg, and they both stand when the doctor calls about Chris. “He’s okay?” Buck asks before the doctor even has a chance to give them her name, but she smiles at him, nodding. 

“Christopher is going to be okay. He has a mild concussion, some cuts and bruises on his face, and he’s going to be very sore for the next few days, but nothing permanent, and nothing overly serious. Oh, and I’m Dr. Rodriguez. It’s nice to meet you both. Which one is ‘Dad’ and which one is ‘Buck’ because I’ve heard a multitude of compliments about both and still don’t know which one is which.”

Eddie likes her immediately.

Chris is still in a bed in the ER, and he smiles widely as the curtain opens. “Dad!” he cries happily, and Eddie’s heart tightens as he wraps his son in a hug, as gentle as possible. He feels Buck hug them both tight, and their world is a little more right. “Dad, lemme go! I’m okay!”

“Mijo, you were in a car accident; let me hug you a little longer, hmm?” he whispers, pressing a kiss into Chris’ bedraggled curls.

“Yeah, Chris, let us baby you a little longer,” Buck adds, and Chris huffs, but puts up with a hug for another minute or two before he starts shifting, uncomfortable enough that they both let him go. “You’ve got a hell of cut there, kiddo.” His hand is shaking when he touches Chris’ cheek, just barely, pulling back when Chris flinches. “Sorry about that. I’m just worried.”

“I’m okay, really. My head hurts a lot, but the doctor said I shook my brain a little and it’s going to take a few days until I feel back to normal, And I’m pretty sure my morning exercises aren’t happening for a few days.”

Eddie can’t help his smile. “I think you’ll be okay if you skip them for a few days.”

“Have you...have you guys seen Nate yet? Is he okay? He was talking nonsense in the truck-”

“The doctors are still working on him,” Eddie says, careful with his words; Dr. Rodriguez said there was another doctor working on Nate, that he’d come find them as soon as he got a free moment. “But they’ll come get us soon, I’m sure.”

“Dad, he said something about you guys hating him, because I got hurt. But he got hurt, too! Can you...this wasn’t his fault. He didn’t do anything wrong. I begged for ice cream, and we’d just gone to get some-”

“Superman, neither of you did anything wrong; it was an accident, and they happen,” Buck interrupts, running his hand through Chris’ hair. “No one’s angry at either of you; your dad and I were so scared about both of you, scared that we wouldn’t get the chance to tell you again how much we love you and what amazing men you are both growing up to be. You can ask your dad-I was a mess out there waiting.”

“He really was,” Eddie confirms, grinning when Buck and Chris roll their eyes. “I mean it, Chris! He’s dramatic.”

Chris laughs, and Buck gasps at him, eyes wide. “Christopher! I thought we were buddies!”

When a nurse comes to grab one of them to talk to Nate’s doctor, Eddie goes, Buck having settled half on Chris’ bed, their son drowsy against his shoulder. “I’ll hold down the fort here,” he whispers as Eddie gives him a kiss. 

“He was unconscious when the paramedics got to him,” the doctor explains, “but he woke up here, agitated and worried. We gave him something to keep him calm so we could examine him, so he’s going to be a touch out of it. He’s got a concussion, and there’s a nasty cut on his hairline from where his head hit the window. His side of the vehicle impacted the median of the road, and it caused damage to the left side of his body. He has a couple of fractured ribs, he’s got bruising from the airbag, whiplash, but most concerning, there’s damage to his spleen that we need to watch, but the CT confirmed it wasn’t as major as I first feared.”

“Do you want to admit him?”

“I would like to keep him overnight, especially with his concussion and to keep an eye on his spleen. We’re waiting to get him transferred to the children’s floor, hopefully it shouldn’t be too much longer. You can wait with him until they come to get him.”

Eddie thanks the man, opening the curtain as quietly as possible, and Nate...Nate’s watching him apprehensively, tracking him as he moves, suspicious. The laceration on his forehead really is nasty, large and circled in darkening bruises. There are smaller cuts peppered down his cheek and neck before disappearing under his gown, and his left eye is nearly swollen shut. 

He looks awful, but he’s alive, and really, that’s all that matters to Eddie.

“Hey, mijo,” he murmurs, heart clenching when he sees Nate’s bottom lip wobbling. “Jesus, kiddo, you gave us quite the scare.”

“I didn’t-” his voice is soft, hoarse, and he winces, swallowing once. “I didn’t mean to get Chris hurt. Please don’t send me back. I’ll do whatever I have to to stay.”

“Nathan-” Eddie breathes out, hugging his eldest son as tight as he dares, feeling his kid sag in his arms. “Baby, you aren’t going anywhere but upstairs to a room and then home with us when we can take you. I know you aren’t thinking clearly right now, and that everything’s a little jumbled, but Nate, Buck and I? we aren’t at all mad at you, for anything. We wouldn’t be mad at you if the accident had been your fault, and it wasn’t. Athena said the driver beside you swerved into your lane and hit the truck, that’s it.”

“I just wanted to get ice cream,” Nate whispers, and Eddie can hear the tears, feel them getting the collar of his shirt wet. “I didn’t-”

“You were being a good big brother, mijo. We are never planning on you being anything but part of our family, being our kid; nothing you do is going to change that.”

“I thought you were going to hate me.” The confession is said into Eddie’s shirt, and his entire world freezes and he thinks about how scared Nate must have been, waiting for them to come, wondering if they wouldn’t. “I really didn’t want you to hate me.”

“Nunca, mijo. Never. Buck and I will always love you.”

“That’s good,” Nate finally answers. “Because I think I totaled your truck.”

Eddie laughs, the first real sense of normality since Athena’s fateful call. “I needed to replace it soon anyway.”

He stays with Nate until they come to transfer him, promising him either he or Buck will be with him as soon as the nurses allow. He gives him one last kiss on his forehead, one last gentle squeeze on his shoulder, one last “I love you,” and watches the bed until the elevator doors close behind it before retreating back to Chris’ curtain. He’s a little surprised to see Chris dressed in comfy clothes, Buck standing beside him, awkwardly holding his crutches. “What’s going on here?”

“Doc discharged him, and Mads brought them both some clothes from home. Chim called her for us,” Buck explains, handing Chris his crutches when asked. Together, they make their slow way out to the waiting room, where Maddie’s sitting, typing away on her phone. She smiles when she sees them, giving both Eddie and Buck a hug in greeting. “I guess I can go home with Chris, get a quick shower and then come relieve you?”

“Aunt Maddie can take me home,” Chris informs them, grimacing just a bit as he grips his crutches, the walk more painful than usual. “You both need to stay here.”

“Superman-” Buck tries to argue, but Chris stops him with one raised eyebrow.

“Buck, Nate’s the one in the hospital; I’m getting to go home. He’s the one who’s not alright right now. He needs both of you. Aunt Maddie said she and Chim could stay with me already, and you guys can stay here. I want to make sure Nate knows he’s just as important as I am to you guys. I know that, and you know that, but he’s not sure of that right now, and it’s important that we all make sure he knows.”

Eddie knows he and Buck have lost this battle (and seriously, Chris is fourteen; how are they losing battles to fourteen-year-olds?), so he shakes his head when Buck starts to argue with Chris. “You will go home, take a hot shower, and get some rest?”

“That’s the plan.”

“Promise?”

“Dad-”

“Mijo, I don’t want to worry that you aren’t doing what the doctor said while I’m here.”

Chris rolls his eyes, but nods. “I promise. Home, shower, cuddle with Scarlet, and then bed. Aunt Maddie can text you all about my very boring adventures.” He hugs his father, squeezing as much as he can muster. “As long as you take care of Nate.”

“Always, kid.”

--//--//--

Nate wakes sometime during the night, groggy from the meds they’ve given him to help manage the pain while he tries to sleep. Everything feels off, and he’s a little desperate when he looks around, the room empty until he turns his head ever-so-gently, the ache of moving that much starting to build, and he sees them both, sprawled out on the unused bed beside him, both of them facing him, Eddie spooned around Buck, their hands intertwined, resting close to Buck’s heart.

They’ve stayed.

It’s what Eddie promised him, when he was still confused, still worried that everything was his fault and they were going to send him away, but somehow, waking up now, more clear headed, it means something more.

It means everything.

They’ve stayed.

[relishredshoes]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello DeepShadows2 and welcome to Behind the Quill, I am pleased to have this chance to chat with you.

Many of our group’s members will know you as part of our Mod team but they might also know you as the author of Peculiar and of Good Night, Sweet Prince (written for our last Prompt Week of 2020!)

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? 

I grew up in the martial arts and my 'warrior name' was 'kage urufu' or Shadow Wolf.  When I was in Creative Writing in high school, someone else was writing under that pen name, and they were more popular, and I was told I 'wasn't allowed to copy her name' by our teacher. So I went back and forth between some names and finally came up with DeepShadows. It is because during karate Kamp's ninja night games I would find the darkest spots in the camp and wait to sneak attack my enemies to steal their flags. The 2 comes from the fact that my first ever FF.net account got deleted because I put up lemons there instead of AFF.net.

Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most?

Honestly, it is a mix between Severus, Draco, and Minerva. Each in their own way was in positions they would have rather not been in at one point in time, but made the best of those situations. Do you have a favourite genre to read? (not in fic, just in general) Strangely enough, I am really into my 70s Feminist Sci-Fi. Like Darkover and Tanith Lee's 'Don't Bite the Sun' Series. As for Fic, I am into many scenarios and it changes according to my mood. Recently I've been into fluff slice of life.

Do you have a favourite "classic" novel?

Oof. Asking me to pick solely one is a crime. I have always loved Gone with the Wind. If I had to point at one, it would have to be it. But I honestly went over 15 titles in my head trying to decide which one would be the winner. 

At what age did you start writing?

I have been telling stories and writing them since I was young. I could read and write at age 4 because my grandmother wanted me to be ready for school. My first written story was at 5 ish and I still have my Crayola blue five-line story about a Unicorn named Pepper.

How did you get into writing fanfiction? 

I got into fanfiction when I discovered that ff.net existed. My first fanfic is still up there under this pen name, but it is miles and leagues from my current quality. Spelling is still atrocious though.

What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works?

Honestly, hard to say. I love post-war fics. I love when the narrative is close to canon, but uniquely not, so it handles like it is an extension of the world and not a separate world. 

Theme wise, I am a sucker for hard-hitting drama.

What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter?

I was into Kingsman, but not as a fic writer, but a Tumblr role-player. It's been a while, so mostly now I'm just back to being a Potterhead. It's where I began and where I always come back to.

If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon?

Snape lives! You cannot tell me that a POTIONS MASTER who spends ALL DAY every day keeping students from POISONING themselves and who personally makes BLOOD REPLENISHERS for the infirmary would not have been prepared for an attack from Nagini. It is not secret knowledge that Drama King Voldy likes to have her do his dirty work and Severus would have been prepared for the off chance he was discovered and attacked. He lived.

My favourite piece of Fanon.... hmm... I like a lot of Fanon.  It's hard to put my finger on just one piece that I enjoy.

Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet? 

Music! Nearly all of Peculiar was written to Folklore by Taylor Swift.

What are your favourite fanfictions of all time?

Cake and a Cup of Tea by Cybelle Somewhere I belong by .... I can't remember Not Only a Granger by my friend Ferporcel

Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process?

I am a Pantser. I have beats and thematic key points I know I want to hit, but the characters sort of fill out the story as I go. Sometimes I surprise myself with where I end up and I love that. Example: Draco/Krum was a total accident in Peculiar, but I love everything about it. 

What is your writing genre of choice?

Hurt/Comfort and Drama/Angst

Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why?

Peculiar and Good Night, Sweet Prince.

Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it?

Oh, my goodness, the unexpected cropped up. Peculiar was only supposed to be a 25 chapter post-war, post-divorce AU that turned into this beautiful beast. Characters were created as I went, and some side characters became major plot devices or turning points. I learned that sometimes my brain knows what it is doing before I know what it is doing. There were hints and notes of what was going on that I wasn't even aware.

How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write?

There are points that are special to me.  It made it easier and harder to write.  Having experience with some subjects Hermione goes through makes it easier to translate the emotions into words, but simultaneously, some of those factors are trauma-based and I had to navigate myself through.

What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing?

I draw influence from everything I read. That is a key reason I don't read anything similar to my current work while writing because I don't want to accidentally lift from someone else. 

Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction?

Two of my roommates are readers and I get people barging into my room after a post a chapter yelling 'OH MY GOD'. I also have a typed and printed review handed in person to me by my roommate that is on my inspiration board where she says 'Fuck you, but with love'. My entire friend group knows I write fanfiction and I get some of them to read it from time to time. My mom won't read peculiar until it is finished because she doesn't want to nag me for chapters.

How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? 

YES! I started Peculiar because I couldn't find what I was looking for. I wanted a high emotion, high stakes, drama and background rich fanfiction in which Hermione has completely broken and has given up on herself. Where she has nothing and no one and has lost that spark in her. I wanted Ron bashing where he is a villain and yet isn't the same time. I wanted Severus to be indifferent to her at first and slowly discover her suffering and set out to help her for the sake of the school, and it develops into more through feelings severed early on just after the war. I wanted her to have to overcome trauma and recover for herself, not for Severus, but instead with him and that they heal from their past together while facing continuous challenges that attempt to tear them apart. Along with other factors that haven't come to be yet, so I won't want to spoil.

How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media?

I love my audience. It actually brought me here. Shout out to Geek and Tattoo for bringing me to this group’s Discord server. I answer every comment, I respond to any statements or comments I notice on social media. I'm an open person with my audience, which is why when I had to go on hiatus, I told them exactly what was going on.

What is the best advice you've received about writing?

Write what feels best. If you don't like what you are writing, no one else is going to.  If you don't want to write a certain scene but you need it, write an article or a letter about it. 

What do you do when you hit writer's block?

I cry. Then I put on the music that inspired the story/scene and I pace my room, going over the potential dialogue and basically acting out what I think should happen until it sounds right.

Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing?

Yes. Many of my OC characters are modelled after some of my real-life friends. And some other events have easily transitioned into events that Hermione and Severus have gone through.

Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser?

I am currently writing the next chapter for Peculiar. I won't give a teaser, but I will say that Hermione and Severus give Rita Skeeter a delicious taste of revenge.

Any words of encouragement to other writers?

Don't stop, but also be kind to yourself. Not every writing session is going to be your best, but you won't have better days if you give up. Also, if someone doesn't like what you write, forget them, as long as you are happy with it, that is what matters.

Thanks so much for giving us your time.

[youareboththebestbestfriend]

The You are in love / Dress mashup

Hi guys, I just loveeeee Bechloe so much and I loooooooooove Taylor Swift so much. Then I made a mashup myself between YAIL (bold) and Dress (italic) because it's perfect. Like. Even the beats match up pretty well between the two songs, which I wouldn't have guessed before I tried to merge them. But it worked out pretty well. Also, these songs are gay as fvck and that's why they work for Bechloe I think. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to put the song on tumblr yet due to rights. 

Anyway, here's a Valentine's day Bechloe fanfic containing Taylor Swift songs. Like, I don't need more in life than this. Guys are overrated (no offense). Enjoy the fic!

PS. I wrote the first poem myself. It was originally in Dutch but I tried to translate it and still get the message across. I think I did pretty well?

There were a lot of things that Beca Mitchell detested that others loved. For example, movies. Unicorns. The titanic. Rainbows and glitter. Agnes from despicable me. Romantic books. My little pony. But out of all things, there was nothing, nothing, Beca hated more than Valentine's day. But Chloe Beale loved Valentine's day. And Beca recently realised she's in love with Chloe Beale.

It had been years ago that Chloe had first teased Beca on the holiday she despised the most. Beca had been halfway in her second year at Barden University and preparing the Bellas for yet another year of a capella. She and Chloe were co-captaining the Bellas and Beca had to admit the two of them were doing a great job together. A week before February 14th, Chloe had already decorated the whole house in shades of red. Hearts cut out of pink paper where located everywhere, even in the bathroom, and god forbid someone taking down or moving decorations even out of convenience. Like the purple and red flowers woven on a golden tread hanging just behind the front door, where, the first time Beca came in when she had been with her mind elsewhere, she had gotten caught in like a wolf in an iron wired fence. And even though Chloe was one of the most selfless people she knew, Beca had been kind of mad at her when the first thing Chloe checked was if the paper flowers hadn't been torn up.

"Can you just stop moving for a second?" Chloe had said, grinding her teeth. "For God's sake Chloe, Get. Me. Out," she had bit back. "I need to assess the situation first, I worked so hard on this and you are messing it up if I am not careful," Chloe replied, getting on her knees. "Argh," Beca grumbled and crossed her arms in front of her chest. But her anger somehow subdued when she was looking down at the redhead. She watched Chloe as she handled the decorations with care as if they were tiny birds failing their first flying out. Beca sighed and bit the inside of her cheek. In the back of her mind, part of her was thinking this was endearing. But another part was just annoyed and that side won, as always. "Becs?" she heard the older girl say, "you can step out now." Beca hadn't noticed how Chloe had freed her legs and untied the woven lines from around her. All she had thought about was Chloe's hands on her lower legs and the warmth of them through her dark blue skinny jeans. "Thanks," Beca sighed and looked up at the taller girl that was averting her gaze. "I am sorry," she admitted. "Is it.. is it still.. okay?" Chloe finally met her eyes and grinned a little smile. "I will put them back up. Try not to get caught next time, even if they look totally aca-adorable on you," she winked. Beca blushed, stepped out of the circle of purple and red flowers and picked them up to hand them back to the redhead. Their fingers brushed and they locked eyes for only a second. Beca pursed her lips together and pointed to the stairs, to which Chloe nodded before stepping aside. After Beca had changed into comfortable PJs, she walked downstairs again and noticed that the flowers were right back up behind the front door, not an inch moved from where they had been before Beca had barged in. She rolled her eyes and joined her friends in the living room. If anything, Chloe was even more Chloe during Valentine's day. Meaning, more bubbly and happy than she already was.

A week later, on Valentine's day itself, Beca had gotten up to her room after her last classes and Bella practice. Even though she loved her friends and her girls, she really felt like needing some alone time. Sometimes they overwhelmed her, even if she had grown to love these girls. After she changed into some more comfortable clothing, Beca grabbed her laptop and headphones from the little desk positioned at the wall. Usually, she really liked working at her desk, but tonight she was exhausted and just wanted to be comfortable in her bed. Beca put the laptop down on the foot end of her bed and grabbed her pillow. What she hadn't expect to find was a bright red envelope and a small giftbox from under it. Beca looked around, blushed and sat down on her bed. She hated this Valentine's stuff. But as much as she really, really, hated it, she was just curious what this all was about. So she opened the envelope and read the note inside: _ Love is indescribable, because if roses don't say more than "I love you", and butterflies are not more than flutters in my stomach

how can I explain to you that your love feels eternal spring to me? _

© RochelleDV

Beca gasped softly, not realizing she had been holding her breath. Her heart was thudding in her chest loudly. She read the note again before putting it down. Her mind was spinning, the poem was absolutely beautiful. She could feel the words on her skin and it gave her goosebumps. Slightly afraid to open the giftbox, Beca reached for it anyway. She doubted another moment, but decided she was too curious anyway, no matter how much she hated Valentine's day gifts. Maybe she hated it so much because she actually never had been of the receiving end of one. Until now. With slightly shaking fingers, Beca lifted the cap from the box. Inside, she found a sparkling, bright ocean blue keychain of a butterfly. She picked it up and looked at it from different angles. She hated to admit that she actually quite liked it. It looked delicate and the sparkles were only noticeable when you looked really hard at it. Beca loved the colour. With a gasp she dropped the keychain on her bed, realizing that the butterfly was the exact same shade of blue as the eyes of her best friend. Chloe. Chloe? She thought. Beca grabbed the keychain and put it back with the poem in the red envelope and put it in the drawer of her desk. She just wanted to work on her mix for a while before going to bed, and tried to get this whole Valentine's day out of her mind. It was much later, when she actually was in her bed, that Beca started to wonder again. It would only make sense that the sender would be someone in the Bella house. It had to be Chloe. It was probably one of her jokes to tease her, make her uncomfortable, just for the fun of it. Beca sighed, rolled onto her other side and squeezed her eyes shut. If only her mind would shut up as well. It had to be a joke, right? Even if the words from the poem sounded more sincere than anything someone had ever said to her.

Flash-forward a year later to the 14th of February, and Beca found out that in fact, the red envelope from the year before had not been a joke. Neither Beca nor Chloe had ever mentioned it to one another. She hadn't thought much about this day, not even when the decorations had been up already a week before. Beca just simply thought last year was a onetime thing. Little did she know it wasn't. The week leading up to the 14th had been normal, except that this had been marked as "let's-watch-rom-coms-every-night" for the Bellas. Maybe that is why Beca hated this holiday. The weekly movie nights with her girls were bad enough, but that week in February meant it was movie night every night. That didn't mean Beca wasn't trying to get out of it every night. "Guys, I have so much work to do. I don't have time for this," Beca tried to argue with Fat Amy and Stacie. "But this time I get to choose the movie," Stacie replied and threw her arms up. Everyone looked at her. "How does that convince me again?" Beca asked after seconds of silence. "I will choose a sexy movie," Stacie grinned. Beca groaned. Fat Amy laughed and high fived Stacie. "Yes girl!" Chloe just stared at Beca with twinkles in her eyes, awaiting her best friend's reaction. Beca was at a loss of words. "Please don't, I will not complain again the rest of the week but please don't," Beca said at last but she knew it was a lost cause anyway. The rest of the girls where already settled in front of the TV, Fat Amy joining them when Chloe, Stacie and Beca were still standing in their small living room. "Honestly, I don't understand how you cannot like that," Stacie smirked, making a very inappropriate sign and turning around. Chloe laughed and patted Beca on her back. "Come on Becs, it won't be that bad, watching a sexy movie being curled up with me?" she winked. "Dude," Beca said, shaking her head. Chloe grabbed Beca's hand and normally Beca would flinch or withdrawal her hand, but seeing as she just lost a fight she let it go and walked to the two open spots reserved for her and Chloe on the couch. "You can even choose the movie tomorrow, if you behave well," Chloe said, while Beca took the spot in the corner and folded her legs under her butt. "Which is a big deal, as it really is _Valentine's day _tomorrow," Chloe added and pointed her finger at her friend, her eyes sparkling. "Great," Beca replied sarcastically, but soon she forgot about it and her temper subdued. Being near Chloe had that effect on her. She even grabbed Chloe's hand halfway the movie to squeeze it and to let the older girl know that everything was okay. Chloe turned her head, looking at Beca, who was focused on the screen and smiled happily.

It was much later that night when Beca returned to her room. The movie had been long. And she still did not get why all the girls were drooling all over that male character, but she had to admit that it was at least interesting. And she got to spent time with Chloe. Beca walked to the bathroom to brush her teeth and get ready for bed when she ran into Chloe. "HWui," she was greeted by the redhead, who was standing with a mouthful of foamed toothpaste in front of the mirror. "Dude, gross," Beca replied and moved next to Chloe to wet her toothbrush and apply paste. She moved out of the way to let her friend spit out and started to brush her own teeth. Beca was looking at Chloe through the mirror and she saw the older girl make eye contact with her and smirk. "Gross?" Chloe said and turned around, putting her hands on her hips. Beca stopped moving and stared down at Chloe's hands, holding her night dress in place. Damn, she had made her look. Beca shrugged as Chloe moved closer until she almost stepped onto the shorter girl's toes. "If only you knew," Chloe whispered and Beca could smell her peppermint fresh breath, before quickly kissing Beca on her cheek and walking out of the bathroom. "Night Becs," she shouted over her shoulder, while Beca bent over to spit. What had that been all about? Beca looked in the mirror and turned her head to inspect her cheek. There was no sign of there ever been planted a kiss, not visibly at least. Her cheek was hot and she blushed. She had liked it. Chloe's closeness. Beca grabbed her stuff after finishing up and returned to her room. She still wanted to work on a mix she was making for the next a cappella contest.

Sometimes, Beca really could lose herself in music. She could listen to a new mix multiple times and never be bored, each time recognizing a new part in her mix that perfectly harmonized together without her even knowing when she put songs together. She was in that half-asleep relaxed state just past midnight, not noticing how a red envelope was slid underneath her closed door. Beca opened her eyes, but knew she had been too late when she opened her door to see who was there. No one was, of course. She had not been prepared to find a purple stuffed Care Bear on the ground. Her mouth agape, Beca picked up the bear and found that it was even softer than it looked. Wheels were spinning inside her head, but in the end she noticed that the whole house was silent. Beca closed her door and took the envelope from the floor. She couldn't believe it. The only person who knew that she used to imitate care bears and drove her parents crazy was.. Chloe. Even though it had been years ago, Beca immediately recognized this one bear. Purple, with rainbow-coloured music notes on her chest. Harmony Bear, the first one. She knew that later the music notes had been changed into hearts and after that flowers. This one was the one she used to watch on TV. Stunned, Beca returned to her bed and sat down to open the envelope. Was this really happening? She took out the small note and turned it around. It was simply written, like the year before, but signed with a drawing of a rainbow.

_"Let's make a rainbow, all our colours in harmony When we work together - you and me, let's make a Rainbow.

Wake up and start the day, don't be afraid of a new beginning. I've got a feeling you'll be happy today, look up, got a clear blue sky, the sun is shining - bright and yellow. Not a thing is standing in our way!

What's a harmony without a melody? Everything's better when I'm with you!"_

Beca stared, then giggled, then looked around if anybody saw. Of course, no one had. She was just stunned. Everything reeked of Chloe, hell she could almost smell her peppermint breath as the rainbow song played in her head. Beca shivered and picked up the bear and stroke its belly. She smiled. She hadn't slept with stuffed animals since her parent's divorce. There had been no point, moving between her mom and dad with her animals. But warmth filled her as the smile plastered on her face. It had been in the first year that she had met Chloe, when one night she had told her about her obsession with the Care Bears as a little girl. She had never thought Chloe would have remembered, especially since the both of them had been drunk that night when they had shared stories. Beca moved her laptop and headphones back to her desk and curled up in bed, falling asleep with Harmony bear against her chest.

Beca woke up to the sunlight in her room, apparently she forgot to close her curtains fully last night. She turned around and found her new stuffed friend. It hadn't been a dream. Love filled her body. Chloe cared so much about her, she had known that before, but now she felt like last year had not been a joke. Maybe, maybe it was real. Maybe she had real feelings for Beca. Maybe, maybe she had real feelings for Chloe too. But Beca was horrible at expressing her feelings. Which probably explained why Chloe had never asked or pushed about the butterfly keychain from last year. And for the first time, Beca wanted to let the other girl know. She wanted to let Chloe know how she felt. She just didn't know how.

She took a shower, just because it gave her a reason not to go downstairs yet, where she had already picked on some of the girls being up and about. Beca returned to her room and readied herself for the day, looking at the purple fluff on her bed. After doing her hair, she walked towards her bed and put the stuffed bear under her sheets. She smiled. Her secret. She already hid the red envelope in her desk drawer, with the envelope from last year, but not before rereading both cards. She'd already decided to use the keychain, better late than never. Maybe Chloe would notice. Maybe it would make things easier. She hooked it up to her keys and smiled, heading out of her room to join her friends. She heard Jessica, Ashley and Stacie in the living room when she rounded the corner into their kitchen, finding Fat Amy on a stool and Chloe next to the stove. "I might not be back tonight," Fat Amy winked to Chloe. "Oooh, you have plans with Bumperrrrr," she replied excitedly. "Well, not yet, but by the end of the day, probably," Amy replied. Beca walked in, "how come she gets to skip movie night and not me, huh?" Fat Amy shrugged and Chloe laughed. "Morning Becs," she said, "how'd you sleep?" Chloe winked. Beca almost dropped the bottle of orange juice she just got out of the fridge. Don't freak, she told herself. Chloe already turned away to look at the scrambled eggs on the pan, not expecting the younger girl to reply. Beca turned towards Chloe slowly, swallowing hard. "Actually, I slept really well. I dreamt about.." Beca paused, "rainbows." Chloe's head snapped back as she openmouthedly looked at Beca. "Uh, Red, close your mouth," Fat Amy said, "you look dumb, don't take this the wrong way." Beca saw the redhead blink, trying to recover herself, but she wasn't finished. Last night she had decided, she'd go all in. "There were singing," Beca continued, looking Chloe up and down quickly before regaining eye contact, "unicorns." She laughed at Chloe's stunned expression, who recovered and bit her lip. "Uh, Red, I think your eggs are burning," Fat Amy pointed out before moving her plate and glass over to the sink, announcing she'd better get ready for an "eventful day", leaving Beca and Chloe in the kitchen. "Shit," Chloe swore under her breathe and returned her focus to the frying pan in front of her. "Shit," she repeated herself, trying to save some of the eggs. "I don't it gets any better the more you swear, Chlo," Beca pointed out and grabbed some paper towels to help the older girl clean up. "Shit," Chloe said again, but gave up and threw her arms in the air. "Hey, it's okay," Beca said, removing the content of the pan into the trash bin. "They were for you," Chloe admitted, cleaning up the rest of the kitchen. Beca turned around to face Chloe, who was still standing a few feet away with her back to her. "Chlo," she said softly but uncertain. "No, I know," the redhead interrupted her and turned around to face Beca. She moved forward to the brunette. "You don't need to say anything," Chloe simply said. Beca swallowed, feeling uncomfortable and nervous. "I'm bad at these things," she replied, it almost sounded like an apology. Chloe grabbed her right hand and squeezed it, "it's okay." Beca smiled. Chloe smiled. That night, when it was Beca's turn to pick out a movie, she choose "Welcome to Care-a-lot." All Bellas protested except Chloe, who felt like Beca just hit her in the face. Beca grinned at her best friend and said that the movie was romantic, it was about friendship and it had freaking rainbows. In the end, Stacie okayed her choice and a few minutes into the movie, Beca felt Chloe's hand on her calf beneath their fleece blanket. She didn't look at Chloe, but placed her hand on top.

It was yet another year later, Beca and Jesse had broken up a long time ago as both their feelings had disappeared. Sure, she had loved Jesse, but he was more like a friend to her. Beca had never felt pressured into their relationship, but she also had regretted that they had been taking that step. They still talked, sometimes, but not like they had before they had been boyfriend and girlfriend. Meanwhile, her feelings for Chloe had grown, slowly but steadily. Beca slept with her stuffed bear every night, and one time she had freaked out because it got lost at some point underneath her bed. She hadn't known how much she'd grown to like it up unto that moment. This year, Beca had promised herself, things would be different. This year, it was her turn. She absolutely hated Valentine's day, but she knew how much it meant to Chloe. Lately, she hadn't been able to deal with the sexual tension much, her love for Chloe growing stronger with every wink, every tease, every touch. She was scared, because she never had let her walls completely down, by choice. She never made the first move. But now she wanted to. She wanted to let Chloe know. Which is why Beca had locked herself up in her room the week before Valentine's day to finish a mix she was working on. A mix to declare her love to Chloe. She even managed to get out of one movie night. Even Chloe's pout hadn't convinced her to watch The Notebook again. This year, Stacie had suggested that on February 14th they'd join the campus Valentine's day party. Apparently, she was hooking up with a new guy these weeks and she really, really wanted to spent Valentine's day with him. They had all agreed, even Beca, as it would be nice to be out of the house this year. Also, it created the perfect setting for her plan, Beca smirked, as she saved her finalised mix on her desktop as "YAIL-Dress.mashup".

It had been a little past ten when there was a knock on her bedroom door. "Come in," Beca answered and wasn't surprised to find Chloe walking in. She closed the door behind her, "Becs?" and turned around. "Wow," she said. "Hey," Beca replied. "I'm almost finished," she continued. "Wow," Chloe said agin, looking the brunette up and down. Beca was wearing a knee-length black dress with a long neck of lace and open back. The fabric flowed around her in several layers and it looked.. soft, sexy. Chloe reached out absentmindly, the sudden urge that she needed to feel Beca, but then stopped and blushed. "I take it you like the dress," Beca deadpanned and tilted her head to the side, a smirk around her red lips. "Yeah," Chloe said and cleared her throat, "it's beautiful. You're beautiful." Beca met her eyes and smiled at her.

They returned hours later from the party, slightly tipsy. Chloe liked it, it made Beca more free. More touchy, less reserved. The other girls had either already returnedearlier, were still at the party or had found "sleeping arrangements" elsewhere. Beca tried to open the door, laughing loudly with Chloe in the empty street, who grabbed her arm and tried not to tumble over from laughing. "Come on Becs, aren't you cold like I am, hurry up," she told the brunette. "Let go of my arm then, silly," Beca replied and finally managed to open the door of their house. "I'm thirsty," Beca said as she threw her small purse on the table next to the door. "I'll make you some tea," Chloe replied and walked into the kitchen. Beca took both their coats and hung them up. She took a deep breath. This was it. She looked down at her shaking hands for a moment, before Chloe called her name, "Becs?" Chloe walked towards her, two cups of tea in her hand. Beca could smell the cinnamon, she loved cinnamon. "You okay," the redhead asked. "Yeah, I'm fine," Beca replied and took one of the cups from her. "Actually, I.. I have something for you," she continued, her heart was in her throat by now. This was it. God, she was nervous. "You do?" Chloe grinned, her eyes sparkling a bright blue. "It's up in my room," Beca nodded and grabbed her best friend's hand. "Oooooh," Chloe winked, making Beca blush and roll her eyes. They walked up the stairs together towards Beca's room. She opened the door and Chloe immediately walked to her nightstand to put down her tea, not letting go of Beca's hand. "Sit," Beca told her and turned around to put her own tea on her desk and grab her laptop and headphones from her desk. "I made you something," Beca explained and moved to sit next to Chloe against the headboard. "Just for me?" Chloe's eyes sparkled, it was no secret she loved Beca's work. Never had anyone been as supportive as Chloe was, day in and out. "Just for you," Beca replied and placed the headphones carefully on Chloe's head, then she hit play and bit the inside of her cheek. This was it.

Chloe looked at Beca as the intro of You are in love started playing. She just stared, then smiled. She loved Taylor Swift. Shortly after, the intro of Dress starts. Chloe swallows hard, licking her lips.

One look, dark room Our secret moments, meant just for you in a crowded room, They got no idea about me and you There is an indentation Time moved too fast in the shape of you you play it back Made your mark on me a golden tattoo Buttons on a coat lighthearted joke No proof, not much but you saw enough Small talk, he drives coffee at midnight The light reflects All of the silence and patience, pining and anticipation the chain on your neck my hands are shaking from holding back from you She says, "Look up." All of the silence and patience, pining and anticipation and your shoulders brush my hands are shaking from holding back from you No proof, one touch but you felt enough

Say my name and everything just stops You can hear it in the silence, silence I don't want you like a best friend **You can feel it on the way home, way home **Only bought this dress so you could take if off You could see it with the lights out, lights out You are in love, true love Carve your name into my bed post You are in love 'cause I don't want you like a best friend Only bought this dress so you could take it off, take it off, ah-ah

Morning, his place burnt toast, Sunday You keep her shirt she keeps her word Inescapable, **And for once you let go **I'm not even gonna try of your fears and your ghosts and if I get burned, at least we were electrified One step, not much I'm spilling wine in the bath tub You kiss my face and we're both drunk **but it said enough **Everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about all of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation **You kiss on sidewalks **My hands are shaking from holding back from you you fight then you talk All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting My hands are shaking from all this ah-ah-ah One night he wakes strange look on his face Say my name and everything just stops Pauses, then says "You're my best friend." I don't want you like a best friend And you knew what it was only bought this dress so you could take it off she is in love

You can hear it in the silence, silence Carve your name into my bed post You can feel it on the way home, way home I don't want you like a best friend, only bought this dress so you could take it off, take it off You could see it with the lights out, lights out You are in love, true love

And so it goes you two are dancing in a snow globe 'round and 'round Only bought this dress so you could take it off And she keeps a picture of you in his office downtown and you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars and why I spent my whole life trying to put it into words

'Cause you can hear it in the silence Flashback when you met me You can feel it on the way home _your buzz cut and my hair bleached Even in my worst time, you could see the best in me _You could see it with the lights out Flashback to my mistakes, my rebounds, my earthquakes You are in love, true love even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me You're in love

And I woke up just in time You can hear it in the silence, silence Now I wake up by your side my one and only, my lifeline You can feel it on the way home, way home I woke up just in time Now I wake up by your side my hands shake, I can't explain this ah-ah-ah You could see it with the lights out, lights out You are in love, true love Say my name and everything just stops.. You're in love _I don't want you like a best friend _ You can hear it in the silence, silence Only bought this dress so you could take it off You can feel it on the way home, way home Carve your name into my bed post You can see it with the lights out, lights out 'cause I don't want you like a best friend Only bought this dress so you could take it off, take it off You are in love, true love You're in love

** **Beca knows when the song stops playing, because the smile on Chloe's face gets bigger and bigger. She bites the inside of her cheek as she tries to come up with words. "Becs?" Chloe's voice sounds uncertain but soft, and Beca feels her reached out to touch her cheek. She leans into it. Beca starts to say something but pauses, then whispers "you're my best friend, Chlo." She pushes the laptop and headphones aside and rolls on her side in order to fully face Chloe. "But I don't want," she continues as she looks down at Chloe's lips, her hand reaching out to touch the redhead's hips, "I don't want you as a best friend". There is a moment of silence between them and then she tugs at the waistband of Chloe's jeans to move her closer before she crashes her lips on Chloe's. A soft moan escapes the redhead's lips, but she quickly picks up where Beca left of and deepens the kiss. Beca leans over Chloe as they break up the kiss for air, their foreheads still touching. "I love you, Beca Mitchell," Chloe whispers against her lips before closing the distance again. "I love you too," murmurs Beca between kisses. Chloe's hands are in her hair and warmth rushes through her veins, then Chloe pulls back. "Did you buy this dress just for me to take off?" Chloe smirked. Beca smiled, bit her lip and winked. "I know you how much you appreciate Taylor Swift references," she answers and grabs Chloe's hand, guiding it to her chest. "Take it off," Beca orders as Chloe closes the distance between them again.

[iwasnthere622]

Let Us Take Care Of You - Ch. 3

AO3 Link

Eventually, Zack had to go home to check on his mom and Jason had to check in with his parents, the boys kissing Kim goodbye before kissing each other and heading out.

Zack'd changed into his clothes from the night before, running home and checking on his mom. She was sleeping, but the tray of crackers by her bedside was empty and her two glasses of water nearly so, guilt settling heavier in Zack for leaving her alone for so long. At least she'd also managed to take her pills, the little cup for them empty on the tray.

He cleaned up and got her fresh water, making her tea and leaving that for her as well, setting more crackers out along with her nighttime medications.

Only once he was sure she was set did he go to his room to grab fresh clothes, moving to the tiny bathroom to shower quickly and change. He finished up and moved back to his room, laying on his bed and missing Kim's comfy queen mattress, pulling out his phone to watch some vids while he waited for his mom to wake up so he could make her something more substantial than crackers, mentally going over which soups they had left.

He startled at the knock on the door, frowning and pocketing his phone, moving over to the door quickly. He opened it and just stared.

Kim was standing directly in front of the door, at least a dozen shopping bags slung onto each of her arms. Jason was standing just behind her, holding two cases of water, a case of variety tea, and a case of flavored waters.

"We want to help," Kim said firmly, as if she expected him to turn them away.

Zack stared, belatedly noticing a few of his "neighbors" staring as well, probably because Kim and Jason were holding more than was really humanly possible. That realization jolted him into stepping back and waving a hand to get them inside.

Kim smiled at him, entering the trailer and squeezing around him to put bags on the floor of the kitchen, immediately beginning to take items out and start sorting.

Jason entered behind her, standing patiently while Zack closed the door behind him.

"Where do you want these?" Jason asked when Zack didn't move or say anything.

"Um. Right. Closet," he said, moving down the skinny hallway and pulling open a closet door, quickly shoving shoe boxes into a tower in order to make space, Jason setting his load down and helping him make everything fit.

"You guys really didn't have to do this," Zack said a bit helplessly when they were done and standing again, closing the closet door.

Jason put a hand on Zack's shoulder and squeezed. "We love you," he said softly. "We want to take care of you, and this is one way that we can."

Zack blew out a breath and swallowed his pride, nodding. Okay.

Jason squeezed, offering him a small smile before leading the way to the kitchen, where Kim was making piles of everything they'd bought.

There were crackers, but also cookies and pretzels and popcorn and granola bars. At least a dozen different kinds of premade soups and stews lined the counter. Frozen meals of a wide range were stacked into a neat tower, and there were at least three whole rotisserie chickens on the table. There were also bags of fresh veggies and fruits, real ones, which Kim was working to separate into sealable baggies.

"Kim..." Zack said, not sure there'd ever been this much food in his fridge.

"You can freeze a lot of this," Kim said. "And we bought mostly non-perishables, so this should be able to last a bit without you having to skip meals."

"I--"

"Most of this is considered light food, easy on the stomach, but it's high in proteins and calories and vitamins, so it'll be good for your mom," Jason continued. "And the flavored waters should be good for her, too, to keep hydration up -- I drank them after practice all the time."

Zack honestly didn't know what to say, thank you just didn't seem like enough but it was all he had. "Thank you."

Kim and Jason both smiled at him.

Before anyone could say anything else, Zack's mom called out for him. Zack shot his signifs an apologetic glance, moving down the hall to the back of the trailer and going into his mom's room.

"I heard voices," his mom said in Mandarin, struggling to sit up, Zack rushing over to help her.

"My friends are here," Zack said. "I'm sorry if we woke you, I'll tell them to leave."

Zack's mom waved a hand. "No, it's fine. Did you offer them something to drink, eat?"

"No, they uh... they actually brought us some stuff. Food, and drinks," Zack said, flushing a little in embarrassment.

"Zack... your friends must care about you," Zack's mom said softly, embarrassed to need their charity but grateful there were others who were looking out for her son.

"They do," Zack said, meeting her eyes. "They're actually, um, more than friends, we're dating."

"You love them," Zack's mom said, it not a question.

Zack ducked his head, nodding. "Yeah..."

"Well, tell them to come in here, then. I want to meet your girlfriends," his mom said firmly.

Zack rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah, actually, one is a girl. Kim. But the other is a boy, Jason. We are all dating each other."

"Zack... you have always had such a big heart," his mom said, smiling softly at him. "Bring them in."

Zack grinned, relief flooding him, nodding and hurrying back out.

"Uh, my mom's up, and she wants to meet you guys," Zack said, glancing at them both. "She knows that we're dating. Us three, together."

"Is she okay with it?" Kim asked.

Zack nodded. "Yeah, I told you. My mom is the best," he said, smiling softly.

"We'd love to meet her," Jason smiled, following Zack and Kim down the hall.

"Mom? This is Kim, and this is Jason," Zack said, introducing them in Mandarin, moving to sit on the edge of his mom's bed so there was more room for Kim and Jason to stand next to her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Zack brags about you a lot," Kim said, smiling.

Zack flushed a bit, translating for his mom.

"It is nice to meet you," Zack's mom said in accented English. "You are all..." she trailed off, looking at Zack for the word.

"Dating?" Zack supplied in Mandarin, watching her nod and repeating the word in English.

"Yes, we are," Jason said, taking Kim's hand and reaching for Zack's, too. "We love him."

Zack's mom smiled, understanding him enough, watching her son squirm a bit. "Good. Zack is a good boy."

"Mom," Zack protested, embarrassed.

"Zack is a good boy," Zack's mom repeated, ignoring him. "You... take care. All together."

"We will, we'll always take care of him," Kim promised, leaning to riffle Zack's hair and laughing at his huff and gentle smack at her hand.

"He takes care of us, too," Jason said, smiling fondly at his slightly-red boyfriend.

"Good," Zack's mom said, able to see clearly how much they loved her son and how much he loved them both in return. "Zack says... they bought food for us? How much?" she directed the questions to Zack in Mandarin.

Zack answered her in Mandarin, explaining the cases of drinks and bags and food, a little shame filling him at needing the help to take care of his mom.

Zack's mom just nodded, knowing Zack didn't have money to pay for what they'd bought, bowing her head instead to Kim and Jason and thanking them in Mandarin.

"She's saying thank you, for the food," Zack explained.

"You don't have to thank us," Jason said. "We want to help, both of you. You're... family."

Kim nodded, reaching out to take Zack's mom's hand gently, smiling.

Zack leaned into Jason as he translated, smiling at his mom, and if both Taylors' had brighter eyes for a moment until tears could be blinked away, no one said anything.

"You will eat with us," Zack's mom said in English, waving her free hand when Jason and Kim tried to protest. "I want to get to know the loves of my son's life."

Zack translated for her, grinning when Kim and Jason blushed a bit and gave in, standing to get chairs for them, to make plates of food, to spend time with his signifs and his mom.

[patheticphallacy]

Hallo!

So let’s start this post by referencing the major creative crisis I went through this month, stemming from a blogging rut I found myself in beginning in July. I’ve got through it now, and I have basically the next month and a half of content already scheduled in preparation for my return to Uni, but the rut was real, guys.

I spend a lot of time on my posts and I found myself very low regarding the content and the amount of response I get to what I post. I know blogging is a lengthy process, I’m not going to immediately get response considering the blog is only just over two years old, and I genuinely love writing these posts and reviews. It’s a worry I tackle often, but sometimes it just gets to me and makes me feel kind of hopeless of ever getting over my general anxiety regarding interacting with other people. I keep my distance just because I don’t know how to make friends in the community, and I feel like that translates over to my blog sometimes too, but I’m really trying to change that by talking to more people!

Other than that: August was boring. I read, I watched random stuff, and I worked overtime shifts so I have enough money for rent when Uni starts. I’m honestly a pretty boring person during off-time from University just because of how far away I am from people, combined with my lack of money. Maybe next Summer will be more exciting.

I also want to add that my blog is going to be a lot busier now the end of the year is approaching. I always seem to have a calm period in November, but every other month, expect chaos! Good chaos, though. Friendly chaos. October is a great month for me as I love horror and supernatural things, which means I have twice as many post ideas.

READING WRAP UP

    Assassination Classroom Volume 3-4 by Yusei Matsui– I expect to read more Assassination Classroom this month, but I ended up starting another popular manga series (that’ll come up later). I did enjoy these two volumes, and we got some intriguing looks into Korosensei’s backstory. 

Ibitsu by Haruto Ryo– I hated this. Straight up. It felt very targeted towards the humiliation of teenage girls with a lot of unneeded torture and nudity, and I just felt sick after reading it, and not in a way I can enjoy with some stories. 

Bond of Dreams, Bond of Love Volume 1-4 by Yayu Sakuragi– This is an age-gap romance between an 18 year old and his childhood friend who is… six/eight years older than him, one of the two. There were some really weird moments, for sure, and I won’t dispute that the age gap was kinda gross at points, but I feel like by the end the conversations on adulthood and the main character finally having his frustrations recognised meant a lot. 

My Love Story Volume 7-13 by Kazune Kawahara– I’m in a perpetual state of mourning now that I’ve finished this series. It’s one of my all-time favourites. The ending is so heartfelt and they get into heavier issues towards the final volume that I feel helped carry the main relationship from feeling young into adulthood as the characters began college. It addresses jealousy and feelings of incompetence, while never belittling the trust these characters have in one another. It’s handled so maturely and so unlike other stories, and I’m satisfied with the conclusion, even if my heart is broken. 

    My Hero Academia Vigilantes Volume 4 by Hideyuki Furuhashi– Not as good as volume 3, but has some solid character development and we finally have a showdown of sorts. This does end on a cliffhanger, fair warning.

Starlike Words by Junko– Reaaaally didn’t like this. Poor development of character and relationship and the nudity felt gratuitous and gross, especially considering these characters are only 15/16. 

These Witches Don’t Burn by Isabel Sterling– Another one that disappointed me. I have a review for this linked at the end of this post, just know that I had issues with the treatment of toxic relationships and a victim blaming attitude. 

Peter and Alice by John Logan– An OK read that’s very meta, a play that imagines the meeting behind Peter Llewelyn Davies and Alice Liddell in 1932. It’s very tragic and the weaving of the characters they inspired into their own stories was incredible, but I found myself thinking the whole time about how this… probably didn’t happen. I know I should have suspended my disbelief, it just felt impossible. 

    One Piece Volume 1-11 by Eiichiro Oda– EE. This series is great! I literally started the longest running manga series I’ve come across so far and I don’t regret starting it, even if I did at first. The first 100 chapters have flown by with incredible character development and a wonderful world being shaped, and I adore it. 

Their Body and Their Afterthought by Shelby Eileen– Not my favourite poetry collection. I don’t want to be too harsh, but it felt like it reiterates what I’ve read in other collections on similar themes and issues without ever offering anything new with form. 

I Hate Fairyland Volume 1 by Skottie Young– I previously read this volume years ago. After a re-read, I’ve lowered my rating. I’ve just read way too many different comics and manga and whatnot to not be slightly critical. The art is still great, but it felt like I was struggling to get through this at points, especially after starting volume 2 and having to stop from boredom. It feels repetitive. 

Sunshine, Sadness and Other Floridian Effects by Shelby Eileen– This collection was better than Their Body, luckily! It has some stunning imagery, calling up impressions of water and the turning of the tide in tandem with loss coinciding with moments of happiness, and I do recommend it. 

    Faithless #3/#4 by Brian Azzarello– Starting to get bored with this series. There’s only so much shocking stuff and nudity without any kind of explanation for it before you grow tired. I’ll carry on reading for a few issues; I’m just ready to drop it if nothing much keeps happening. 

Pochamani Volume 1-5 by Kaname Hirama– Ohhh this was such a great series! It’s out of print so I had to read it online, and only the first five volumes are actually translated, which was so disappointing but I still recommend this series. It’s got the first fat main character I’ve seen in a manga series, and has so much conversation surrounding body shaming and positivity and the constant grappling with self-hate when you have a fat body. It means a lot to me, and seeing a romance where a fat girl is adored by her boyfriend is so wholesome. 

The Diary of a Bookseller by Shaun Bythell– I literally started this last year and it took me that whole period of time to read 140 pages, and then in the space of a week I read the last 150. There’s definitely a sense of elitism and anti-genre fiction (especially what is typically branded as targeted towards women) which aggravated me, but the general humour was great and there was an interesting insight into the running of independent bookshops. 

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling– I feel like I’ve gone OFF about this book on here in August, but this book deserves it. It’s an intense psychological sci-fi horror where main character, Gyre, goes on a caving mission that ends up being more than it first appears. I love the relationship that develops between Gyre and Em, and I highly recommend the audiobook!

My Life with Bob by Pamela Paul– I have a whole review on my Goodreads that I feel summarises my issues with this book. I enjoyed this, but same with Shaun Bythell’s book, there’s a definite sense of elitism in some ways. I think Pamela Paul was willing to paint herself negatively in some respects and show the harmful thought processes she could have, and I appreciated that. My review is a lot more elaborate! Sorry!

  Pen & Ink by Isaac Fitzgerald and Wendy MacNaughton– This is a fun side-by-side of tattoos with the explanations behind them from the people that have them. The stories are whacky and fun, in some places, but are also sentimental and heartfelt in others, and I like the different thought processes behind getting them and the way everyone still seems to love them. 

My Hero Academia Volume 19 by Kohei Horikoshi– SO. GOOD. The real strength of this series lies in how well developed the characters and their relationships are, and this volume especially reaffirms that. Aoyama is so sweet and if he’s the traitor I’ll riot! 

  TBR JAR PICK FOR SEPTEMBER IS: WILLFUL MACHINES by Tim Floreen! My best friend picked this one out for me, thank you friend!

THINGS I WATCHED

I FINALLY went to the cinema again and watched BTS: Bring the Soul. I loved it.

I re-watched Daddy Day Care (don’t ask, it’s literally the only film I watched on Netflix the whole month and I hate that) and it opens with Ben– Eddie Murphy’s in-movie son– climbing out of bed and putting on the exact same Spongebob slippers my sister and I had when we were younger and it was amazing. I’ve never felt so nostalgic over something so unintentional in a film.

Not a watch, but a listen: the Teenage Scream podcast hosted by Kirsty Logan and Heather Parry, where they read and breakdown classic Point Horror novels from the 90s.

As always, I watched random stuff on deep dives on YouTube. This included: An Aesthetic History of The 1975, fat people don’t belong in magazines (it’s not what it sounds like), Being Lowborn w/ Kerry Hudson (an author interview! yes!), and I guess I’ll recommend the latest paperbackdreams video because I love Kat’s channel!

POSTS

University: Second Year Breakdown

A Bookshelf Tour: Part 1

REVIEW: These Witches Don’t Burn

Shakespeare Plays as Taylor Swift Songs

REVIEW: The Luminous Dead

Top Ten Tuesday: Read Books I Wish I Owned!

A Bookshelf Tour: Part 2

If you liked this post, consider buying me a coffee? Ko-Fi. 

Goodreads|Twitter|Instagram|Letterboxd

August Wrap Up Hallo! So let's start this post by referencing the major creative crisis I went through this month, stemming from a blogging rut I found myself in beginning in July.

[purplesurveys]

510

What was the brand of your first ever cell phone? It was one of the Nokias with a lime green screen and Space Impact and a super ancient version of Snake. What are your 3 favorite internet sites? Twitter, YouTube, and Reddit. Do you have a favorite pair of blue jeans? Describe them. They’re skinny jeans and high-waisted. I just borrow them from my sister though so I don’t get to use it a lot. :( What profession do you respect? All of them. Have you ever been the recipient of a practical joke? Sure. My mom once pulled a joke on me when I was about 8. I told her my hiccups wouldn’t stop; she didn’t mind it first, but then she tells me about how she received a call from my school saying someone had stolen some of the eggs from the cafeteria. Now, as someone who used to buy egg sandwiches in school, I was immediately interested haha. Soon enough my mom tells me that the school claims they saw me did it, so I started to panic and beg for my mom to cover my ass. I was absolutely scared and freaking out at the mall at that point, and I just wanted to be let off the hook from this random-ass egg fiasco.

She ends her entire spiel by saying, “Your hiccups stopped, didn’t they?”

Have you ever ate something you've dropped on the floor, if so what? I eat food off the floor when I drop them all the time, but there was one instance my siomai fell onto the ground that had a gravel finish. Immediate regrets. Would you consider being an Uber driver if you needed to make extra money? Yes. How do you know when you're in love, what's the main sign? I’ve only fell in love once, but the main sign for me during the time was that I began crying over them. Like just outright emotional, and I didn’t understand why. Turns out that not-understanding is just me trying to deny it. Have you ever gotten anything autographed, if so by who & what was it? I bought an already-autographed poster of AJ Lee. I dunno if that counts. Although, Andrew DID just have a meet-and-greet with another wrestler, Sheamus, last Tuesday. He said he had a print of Sheamus’ autographed for me. I don’t know if he was serious, but it would be so swell if it’s real. Do you prefer Walmart or Target? I haven’t been to either. What do you long for? A successful thesis. If you could be a personal assistant to anyone, who would it be? BEYONCÉ What is the most important thing you can do to improve yourself? Seeing a therapist would probably be the first, most obvious way to go. What makes it hard for you to keep your focus? The internet haha. Case in point: I planned to study a 33-page reading last night, but I kept getting distrated by notifications that came in my phone. Even if I tried to turn off the wi-fi, I’d turn it back on if I wanted to check for any new messages. After three hours, I was still only on page 9. Do you think society has become too PC (politically correct)? It definitely has, and I might be the only person on this hill but I’m kind of glad it has. I don’t mind a little or a lot of political correctness. PH isn’t a very progressive country in itself and you’d be shocked to find out just how many Filipinos still use a lot of backwards terms, so it’s healthy for me to know what the inoffensive words are. What tragic love story do you relate to? I don’t know if there’s any. Has your intuition or "gut" served you well? Its definitely had its ups. Back in 2015, coming home from school, I saw my mom’s car parked in our driveway. That NEVER happens. Immediately felt sick sick to my stomach and believed a grandparent had died. Not because my mom was sick and had to go home, not because my mom had an errand to run, but because a grandparent died. It was my grandfather (her dad) who died that day. What's the longest you've ever waited in line for something and what was it? My sister and I lined up for 8 hours outside the Mall of Asia Arena for our One Direction concert. The titanium section was first-come first-served, so we wanted to go in in early. SPOILER ALERT: arriving 8 hours before the concert – for One Direction for that matter – is late as fuck. Who is your favorite model? Taylor Hill or Kendall Jenner. What have you done that is out of character for you? Be head of the external affairs committee in my org. Literally the last committee I would have had signed up for. The job is everything I hate, until super super recently. Would you rather get a gift card or a gift that someone bought for you? As long as they thought of me while getting the gift, it’s immediately special for me. Who is the most visionary person in your life & how do they inspire you? My internship boss is so cool. She’s one of the smartest people I know and she has a really snappy sense of diskarte (Filipino word that’s hard to translate; think resourcefulness or mojo). She’s seen a lot and been through a lot, and I couldn’t help but look up to her during my stint in their company. How do you handle a betrayal? Cut the betrayer/s out of my life. What do you feel strong enough to protest about? Anything that aims to support or glorify the Marcoses. What's the biggest blooper you've never lived down? We were playing Heads Up! at a family Chrismas party several Christmases ago. My category was Filipino Christmas food – and mind you I’m not super familiar with all of them because I’m generally not a fan of Filipino rice cakes. Anyway, I name every food I know one by one, and I excitedly scream out “PUTO BIMBING” and I saw every single damn relative in front of me collapse and start having seizures and SCREAMING AT ME from laughing too hard. I swear they must have laughed in my face for like 3 minutes. Apparently, the right word is ‘puto bumbong.’ To this day I still don’t know why I blurted out bimbing, I’m literally laughing so hard right now just typing this down :((((( My family brings it up literally once every couple of months or so. This blooper is probably only funny for Filipinos, but still. If you owned a restaurant what kind of food do you want to serve? Gourmet burgers. What will we find if we look in the bottom of your closet today? You would see the books I was assigned to read in school, so that includes a copy of Holes, Number the Stars, Bridge to Terabithia, etc and all of my Shakespeares. All of my AJ Lee action figures are there too, as well as my signed poster of hers. There’s a bunch of other knickknacks in there. What kind of car did you learn how to drive on? The first car I ever tried to drive was my parents’ old Mitsubishi Lancer. I only drove it once because my trial drive drove my mom crazy. I passed my driving test in a Hyundai Elantra, which is honestly such a shitty car and I nearly failed the test because I simply didn’t work well with it. I mostly had to learn with my present car, my Mitsubishi Mirage. I was going to start college and had little time to practice, so when I had to start driving myself to school, that was my practice in itself. What is the best thing you have done just because you were told you can't? Be in a healthy, long-term relationship. My mom used to tell me all the time that no one will ever love me because of how disorganized I am. She meant it seriously, so it stung for many years and also affected the way I dealt with other people. Have you ever had to go to court or testify and if so what for? Nope. Do you believe in karma? It’s fun to fantasize about, but I don’t religiously or spiritually believe in it. Are you more worried about doing the things right, or doing the right thing? Doing the right thing. I hate getting in trouble. Do you believe in the term "Mother knows best?” To some extent, yes. Who is your favorite movie action hero? I was never big on the hero narrative in movies, or any text for that matter. What is one thing you can get in your hometown you can't get elsewhere? My grandmother’s cooking. How important are looks in someone you're in a relationship with? Like, a 4 out of 10. I almost went with dating Mike because he’s really intelligent, even though I found him 0% attractive. What freedom do you feel is not really free anymore? Social media. It used to be a place where we would just post updates, share music, talk to our friends, be goofy in general; nowadays if you fuck up on a joke you thought was harmless, it’d be so easy to end you for good. Also, people would EASILY shoot you down over an opinion that’s different from theirs. I dunno, I just think that we think it’s a ginormous free space for all when really, everyone’s just kind of out there to catch our asses when they see fit. What are you most thankful for? The people who never left. Do you have any favorite talk shows or talk radio programs without music? Not really. I’m a fan of several YouTube series/specials, but I don’t follow talk shows a lot. What was the last book you read? Do readings count? I had to read materials for my Contemporary Philippines class just earlier. What's your favorite online store? I don’t remember where I bought my coloring books from, but it’s either Shopee or Lazada. What band would you love to tour with or be a roadie for? Paramore.

If you were to throw a message in a bottle into the ocean, it would say? I dunno how I feel about that. I feel like it contributes to polluting the oceans more, so I’d rather not do it even if I can come up with a witty message. Do you have common sense or do you think people are lacking in it? Hahahaha it’s here and there. Sometimes I embarrassingly lack it. What's your favorite non-alcoholic drink? Salty Cream Chocolate milk tea from CoCo. How do you feel about thrift shops or flea markets? I don’t really go to those, but something similar we have is called ukay-ukay, which sells secondhand clothes. I’ve recently been converted as a fan after shunning them for a very long time, as all my new tops have been from ukay-ukays haha. What do you like to put gravy on? Fried chicken and mashed potatoes. Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? Yes! I did it in Palawan. It was breathtaking to do it there.  What one thing in particular makes you feel good about yourself? Knowing where I go to school, hahaha. What is priceless to you? Dogs finding their forever homes. What do you wait for discount sales to buy? Clothes, mainly. What is one thing you know about your family history you're proud of? I have a lot of amazing ancestors who were crucial to my country’s history, e.g. I’m related to one of the women who sewed the first Philippine flag, one of the diplomats who signed the Treaty of Paris (the treaty in itself is definitely not something to be proud of, but my relative is permanently etched in history nonetheless because of this), and one of my distant great-uncles published a nationalist history book that’s still being greatly relied on in the PH educational system and academe to this day. There’s a lot to be proud of, definitely. What 3 songs will always be found at the top of your playlist? I don’t have a permanent three-song set as my favorites will always change. But right now, it would be composed of Saw You In A Dream by The Japanese House, Pool by Paramore, and Outta My Head by Khalid and John Mayer. What is the craziest thing you've ever done for someone? When I was a freshie in college, I once drove for an hour and a half to visit Gabie for ten minutes. Do you keep a budget? I have to. If you could cast a spell on someone what spell would you cast and on who? For freeloader groupmates to help out in class projects. What makes you feel rested and refreshed? Uh. Sleep? Who depends on you the most? My parents, probably. Could you ever be someone's bodyguard? I doubt it. Pretty sure anyone could break my bones easily lol. Has one of your biggest fears come true? Nope. Is there anything about the opposite sex you just don't understand? A lot of things... Have you ever let your mom or significant other fight a battle for you? I’ve allowed Gabie many times because I was always just too weak, yeah. Did you create a checklist for your ideal spouse? Not really, but when I was in high school I had a stupid phase where I wanted my future boyfriend to be a certain name, because back then I thought that name was attractive LMAAAAOOOO.

If so, what were two things you wanted? He had to be named Gino (IT WAS A POPULAR FILIPINO NAME IN 2015 OK), and he had to be academically smart. This was before I realized I really really don’t like boys. Have you ever ridden on a subway or train an what did you like about it? I rode the train once when I had to do legwork for a journ class and there was no other way to get to the place than to commute. I rode with Jum because I have no idea how to commute alone. I remember liking the fact that it was cold and spacious in the train at the time I got in – then again, it was at a dead hour. I’m sure it’s nothing like that in reality. What song on your playlist gets played the most? I try to listen to all my favorite songs equally. Have you ever received a harsher punishment than you deserved? I don’t think so. Back when my mom used to ground me I used to think I was being abused and I felt so victimized lol. At 21, looking back, it turns out my rebel ass deserved to be whipped with a belt lmfao. Do you prefer sporty or academic members of the opposite sex? I prefer people I can vibe well with, regardless of their strengths and sex. Do you have to experience something to fully understand it? Yes. Has anyone in your family ever served in the military? My great-grandfather is a WWII veteran and a survivor of the Death March in Bataan. Finish the next line in your style: Roses are red, violets are blue... Why am I on Tumblr, when I still have much to do? :((( What embarrasses you instantly? Dropping stuff. Do you think you could be a firefighter, why/why not? No, but I did want to be one when I was young. Firefighters have to be insanely strong because they carry a lot of heavy stuff and...I’m just not...that. Also because I panic easily, and that’s certainly not a good thing in that line of work. Do you often read your horoscope? Never. I don’t care for mine. What current event are you tired of hearing about? Mmm I’m not sure. I kind of care about everything that’s happening in the world at the moment, especially with regard to Hong Kong. Are you a daredevil? Nah. What do you think should be censored? Homophobic / biphobic / transphobic shit. Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? I already expounded on this quite a few questions back in this survey. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? Yeah, to people I find really important. How do you encourage yourself when you go through hard times? It doesn’t last forever and I’ll be getting my own house in the next 8-10 years. Have you ever fired a gun? Nope. Do you think people, including yourself live up to their full potential? We should be, anyway. I try to. How are you different from most people? My left pinky is super crooked :( What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? The ability to apologize to your child and recognize that parents can make mistakes too. What creature do you admire for its ability to adapt? As much as I despise them, fucking cockroaches. Have you ever stayed up for an entire 24 hours, why? Nah. I just know I wouldn’t function properly if I did, and I’d be so cranky too. Who is a female role model in your life? I don’t have any. What childhood dreams have you neglected? Being an astronaut, a veterinarian, a writer, and a firefighter. How often do you reevaluate your life? I honestly don’t get the time to, which sucks. I’ve always thought of getting one of those 5-year journals that let you answer one question everyday for the next five years so that you’re able to see how much you mature in that time. It would be nice to have mini-reflections/evaluations everyday, but one copy of it is pretty expensive so I never got around to buying them. What's your favorite place just to hang out? Coffee shops. What do you have trouble seeing clearly in your mind? The future. What three things do you think of most of each day? The tasks I have to do, feeding my dog, and calculating the amount of sleep I’ll be getting at night. Would you travel to space if possible? YES. I’ve always said this has always been a dream of mine. Name a famous person you wouldn't mind for a business partner. Kylie Jenner.

[connorrenwick]

Template Choices: 3 Letterpress Designers on 3 Different Squarespace Templates

The following post is brought to you by Squarespace. Our partners are handpicked by the Design Milk team because they represent the best in design. And when you use coupon code DESIGNMILK at checkout you’ll get 10% off your first purchase.

We are pretty big fans of the ease of Squarespace, but with more than 60 templates, choosing the right one can seem like a pretty daunting task. And while we have featured some fantastic ways to choose your own template (modesty might not be our strong suit), pulling the template trigger will honestly be the most challenging part of your Squarespace design process. Decisions! So in our effort to demonstration the template versatility (and just maybe inspire you to get your own side hustle off-the-ground), we chose three letterpress companies who all have fabulous Squarespace sites, but built their websites using different templates. They might all be working in the same industry, but each picked a different template and design to make their own. Happy template choosing!

Western Editions’ cover using the Bryant template.

Western Editions & the Bryant template

Western Editions is a California-based letterpress company whose tagline “We print cute shit” is as cheeky as it is apt. It’s the perfect sentiment for this pair of former roommates, who manage to bring an irreverent spin to the more than five-hundred year old technique of letterpress printing. Before moving to Squarespace, letterpress artists Erin Fong and Taylor Reid, had a friend create a website. It looked great, but they couldn’t update it on their own. Although the to-be-updated list grew, the website project sat on the back burner. Finally, they decided that they needed to be distraction free, so the pair booked a room at the Ace Palm Springs (dream team!) and gave themselves a few days to bust out a new site. “We worked on our site AND worked on our tan and left with a sparkling new website,” said Erin. After trying a few templates, they landed on the Bryant template, which checked all the functionality boxes and also offer the clean, modern design that best represented the brand.

Alissa Bell’s cover using the Avenue template.

Alissa Bell & the Avenue template

From the moment that she took her first letterpress class at the San Francisco Center for the Book, Alissa Bell was hooked. After a short stint on Shopify, she launched the Squarespace website for her letterpress company in 2013. Since that 2013 launch, she’s experimented with a few different templates. Then two years ago, she landed on Avenue and that’s been her site template ever since. The biggest selling point was that Avenue had the ability to create an Index. One of the most central components of Alissa’s business is the large variety of styles that she creates for unique client projects. But she didn’t want those disparate looks to make the site feel disjointed. The Index allowed her to feature the work in a clean, cohesive way, yet still showcase those custom projects.

For the Press cover using the Flatiron template

For the Press & the Flatiron Template

Atlanta-based For the Press is the newest letterpress studio of our Squarespace group. Mirely Cabral launched her studio just under two years ago, in the beginning of 2016. She always had a love of paper, and wanted to do something creative with her hands. Before she really knew what hit her, she was in her tiny red car on a road trip to Iowa to pick up her first letterpress machine: a Chandler & Price Pilot Press named Saoirse. In her day job as a designer, Mirely had designed Squarespace sites for other clients so she already had some template favorites. She wanted something clean and simple that could grow along with her business, and the Flatiron template seemed to fit the bill.

Western Editions’ site built with the Bryant template

We talked to all three letterpress companies about their experience with ecommerce, goals, their creative process and more:

Did you sell your work in other ways (pops-ups, wholesale) before launching the site? How has the response been?

Western Editions: Before starting Western Editions, we would team up to do pop-ups and vendor fairs together, selling our separate items. Then eventually we put our talents together to create prints and cards that turned into our shared business. As an analog printshop, we crank everything through our press by hand and love handing that finished product off to real people. We are constantly asked at vendor fairs if we have an online shop or a wholesale line and now we do! It’s great to be able to direct people to our e-commerce shop page. We have also created a wholesale page (that’s password protected even!) for retail clients to browse our full line and place orders with us. It is still really exciting to see new addresses from all across the country pop up on the orders we’re receiving.

Before having a website, most of our custom design work was from word-of-mouth referrals and friends-of-friends. Squarespace has allowed us to reach and work with people all over the country!

Alissa Bell: Prior to this year, most of my work was sold in other venues than the site. I’m lucky enough to have built up a robust word of mouth business with other entrepreneurs and the wedding community. Up to 2017, the site served as mostly a gallery for people to discover me through or to send potential clients to prove that I’m real (haha). This year I’ve been in a transition as I launched a new stationery collection in March – and in connection built a whole new site on Squarespace.

For the Press: Yes! I participate in a few local artist markets in the Atlanta area and sell my stationery. I’ve also had the pleasure of partnering with Madewell, and hosted a pop-up shop for Mother’s Day a few months ago. Recently, I have also expanded into offering my cards for wholesale purchase.

Western Editions’ site built with the Bryant template

What is your creative process like? 

Western Editions: For our personal line of art prints and cards, we try to think about things that make us smile and translate that into a letterpress good. For example, Erin just saw this plastic bag that she loved at a Chinese restaurant. (You know, the pink bag with the red rose that says “thank you”.) We just created a card based on the colors and sentiment of this nostalgic plastic bag. Plus, we love puns! Often we will say something and then think “Hey! That would be a great card.”

Alissa Bell: My creative process draws from a combination of my life experience and the art and cultural influences I surround myself with. While in the stationery world for almost 6 years, I have mostly been designing and creating for other people. When it came to designing this Collection I wanted to create something that truly reflects me. Influenced by Halston, Robert Irwin, and Luis Barragan, I focus on the celebration of color while showcasing the simplicity of great design.

For the Press: There’s not really a set process that I come back to because each project can follow a different process depending on the client. However, my projects are most successful when my client and I are able to have an open dialogue at various parts of both the design and printing process. I usually get approached by someone, often designers or brides, with some kind of vision for what they want the end result to look like. From there I’ll recommend papers and inks that I know will work well with what they are trying to achieve. If the project involves design, I’ll gather as much info from what they are describing and produce some options for them. Once the design and the specs are in place we’ll move forward with a plan and timeline, and I’ll usually get them a proof before completing the entire project.

Alissa Bell’s site built using the Avenue template.

We are in the last quarter of 2017, what are your goals for your site and business next year? Western Editions: Some of our goals for next year would be to update our photos with newer client work since we are always growing and developing our style. We are also excited to grow our wholesale line and get into more stores across the country. Up until this point we have always worked one-on-one with wedding clients to create custom designs that fit their exact needs. Through this work, we have found that not all clients have time or the vision for this. We are super excited to launch a new wedding collection in Spring 2018 that will offer a handful of designs, typefaces, and ink colors for clients to easily choose from.

Alissa Bell: The same month I launched the Collection and new site, I also had my first baby! He is now 6 months old and I’m beginning to catch my stride as a working mother. I have high hopes for next year as I am starting to have more dedicated time to pour into the Collection. I’m currently working on completing the designs for 2018. and I’m so excited about the new colors and a few pieces that are being added. In the new year, I hope to build new wholesale relationships and also find more ways to drive direct to consumer sales through the site.

For the Press: My goals for my site next year is to get a blog up featuring more of my process and work. I am also working on expanding my online product offerings. Along with that I think I want to continue to grow and keep print beautiful letter-pressed paper goods.

Western Editions and the Bryant template

Are you feeling inspired yet? Maybe it’s time to get going. And don’t worry about buyer’s remorse, you can always switch up your template game.

Make your next website using Squarespace. Squarespace offers online stores, websites, and domains to help you get your business off-the-ground! And when you use coupon code DESIGNMILK at checkout you’ll get 10% off your first purchase.

via http://design-milk.com/

from WordPress https://connorrenwickblog.wordpress.com/2017/11/01/template-choices-3-letterpress-designers-on-3-different-squarespace-templates/

[fultas01]

Despite what this title might make you think, this is not a post asking what happened after a night of drinking. I haven’t blacked out and am unsure what’s going on in my life. Nope, I’m aware and have control of all of my faculties. Without any further ado:

Hey reader,

If you were anything like me, you were inundated with people and TV in the last weeks of 2016 that said the year sucked. I consider myself a realist, so I can say that the year had it’s ups and downs, just like any other year. But, to combat some of the negativity I wanted to share 16 good things/stories from my year.

Student Teaching

The new year began with a bright-eyed a bushy tailed 21 year-old me beginning working with 7th graders for my final semester in college. During this semester long project I worked with around 85 pre-teens as I attempted to teach them English. 7th grade was an interesting place to spend a semester of my time, I worked with a b.a. teacher who know how to get things done and she showed me the ropes. I bonded with the students and my teacher, graded lots of tests, repeated myself too many times to count, was frusterated 9 times out of ten, over-worked, and I have some good memories of these students.

On my last day with these kids I received some handwritten notes of thanks, and wishes that I could stay. These made me cry I was so happy to see them. The last class on my last day ended with lots of hugs. I brought those notes with me to Moldova, and if I ever consider my inabilities as a teacher, I pull these notes out as a reminder that I can make a small difference. If I keep working at it.

2. A visit to New York City

Over spring break my family decided to try a family spring break! My brother and I are both adults, but since I was leaving the country, I think my mom wanted to spend as much family time together as possible. So, we visited one of the cities that I always wanted to see. We walked to Brooklyn Bridge, saw central park, the Statue of Liberty, and I drank Starbucks everyday. I call that a successful vacation!

While I wasn’t able to see and do everything (I was really bummed that we couldn’t see a Broadway musical), I was able to walk the length of the island, and I know what other things I want to do when I visit again.

3. Turning 22

A third of the way through the year I turned 22. And I refused to say a word about it to my students, because I’m smart and didn’t want to bombarded with Taylor Swift. Nah, thanks. I also decided to keep this birthday pretty low-key outside of school too, we had partied hard for my 21st, so we took it down a couple notches this year. It was so low-key that I honestly don’t remember how I celebrated it, outside of making sure not to talk about it at school. So here’s to being another year older! We’ll see what I do in 2017…party hardy or stay in bed all day?

4. Graduation

May of 2016 came like a beam of sunlight after a hurricane. My crazy schedule came to a conclusion as I graduated with my Bachelor’s degree. I survived student teaching and working 2 jobs! Success had never tasted so sweet as I walked up to get my diplomas. Having my degree in hand I only had one more thing I needed to do. Pack. I spent as much of the weeks surrounding graduation with my friends and moving things out of the apartment I had been living in.

5. Meeting in Phily

If you ask my dad about this day, I doubt he would put it on the list of best things about 2016. No, saying goodbye to him and my cousins at the airport to fly to Philadelphia for the Peace Corps pre-departure meetings was not a party. But I still see it as a big step towards the Peace Corps. I hugged them tightly, took pictures, then left without looking back.

I rode my first airplane from Ft Wayne to Chicago, it was not my favorite experience ever. I was nervous and so stressed that I tensed all the muscles in my upper body so much that I could feel my heart beat in my back. Which was painful, and didn’t help with the nerves even in the slightest. But as you can tell from the fact that I made it to Moldova, the flight was fine, and my subsequent flights have continued to get easier, to the point where I wasn’t stressed and tense on my last flight from Warsaw to Chisinau a few weeks ago.

That day I spent something like 4 hours in O’Hare before my connecting flight to Philadelphia. (I still don’t understand why I had to fly west to come east, but whatever.) When I arrived in the city I promptly got myself lost and ended up taking an hour or so to get out of the airport with my bags and into a van taking me to the hotel. There I met some of my new friends as we spent the night getting to know each other and just hanging out. It was the beginning of beautiful partnerships and memories.

6. Arriving in Moldova

Well, after a few days in the US, I said my final goodbyes to my mom and brother, and then the rest of the country as we boarded a plane to Moldova. I was lucky to be sat next to two of my new friends on the plane and we spent the next 8(ish) hours playing games, watching movies, and doing random things other than sleeping (like we probably should have).

When we arrived in Moldova, after a short layover in Munich, we arrived exausted and some of us without our luggage. But! We were greeted by some of the M30s who, knowing that we were tired took our bags. We ended up at a hotel (not the best hotel I’ve ever stayed at, but not the worst either) and I slept for around 12 hours.

We then spent a few days in the capital learning basics of Romanian (hello, my name is, thank you, etc). These days were fun as we got to know one another some more, got to meet some of the M30s, and as we explored the city a little bit. We didn’t explore enough of it to not get lost automatically, but we did learn where McDonalds was, and where to get some coffee.

7. Host families

After a few days (3 I think, but I can’t remember for sure) in the Capital, we were taken to our PST villages. Talk about nerve racking. I think I was more nervous about this twenty minute drive than I was about the entire flight from the US. We were about to meet our new families that we would be living with for the next three months. And we were doing it with a very low amount of Romanian.

The first few weeks were rough, but we quickly found a routine and I was able to get to know this host family a little bit. During this time I also got to meet and hang out with another host family, who were a lot of fun and they made me feel really welcome in Moldova.

Halfway through PST (which should really be called RHT for ridiculously hot training) I was able I found out where I would be living then went to visit that family for the weekend. Meeting my host family was like a breath of fresh air in the middle of the hot humid summer. The family has been awesome, they let me do my thing while also keeping me involved as much as I want. I help out around the house where I can (still can’t cook, even though they’re working on it) and I think that living with a family is probably the best idea that the peace corps has had. I know it doesn’t work out for everyone, but it has been so far so good for me.

8. New Friends

Exif_JPEG_420

  The main support system for living in a new country has been the friends I’ve made living here. I met and made new friends in Phily, and made even more here in country. You’d be surprised how close you get to people. You can’t not be friends with people once you’ve talked about your abilities to poop. Those kinds of conversations and fumbling through language barriers together just draws people together. So cheers to the many friends that I’ve made this year.

9. Indoor plumbing

You know what this looks like, no need for a picture.

What an overrated commodity! I knew I loved indoor plumbing when I was in the states, but after living with only an outhouse for 3 months (and those 3 months being the hotest ones in the year) I can honestly say thank every and any deity out there for indoor plumbing.

During my service nothing has turned me back into a through-and-through American quite like the bathroom conditions. I have made myself hold my bladder for days, I have opened a door to that outdoor hole (because that’s what it was, a hole in the ground), and then quickly closed it because of spiders and the smell, and I have purposefully dehydrated myself to keep me from having to go. Not smart, but honestly, I just couldn’t do the outdoor bathroom unless it was an imminent event, and then it was a mad rush, holding my breath, and thoughts of a happy place.

10. Cold ‘showers’

With the outdoor toilets, there was also no (or very little) air-conditioning this summer. I found only a handful of places that had AC, and of those, I couldn’t really hangout in a grocery store without buying anything. So, I was hot, sweaty, and definitely smelly for those months. To combat the smell and the slow death that we were forced to go through while learning about language competencies and classroom decorum, I took cold showers. The colder the better. Its too bad there weren’t ice cubes, because taking an ice bath would have been marvelous. Easy to say the bath time (because there wasn’t an actual shower for the first 3 months) was one of the best parts of the day.

11. Meeting Partners

During another hot week at the end of PST I was finally able to meet one of my partner teachers. Diana and I bonded over a terrible week of teaching a class of 8th graders who didn’t want to be there (for more info on this week, see my post trial by fire). Ever since then I have seen her as a friend and an ally on the bad days, where teaching seems more of a battle than anything else.

I met another two of my partners a few days before the school year started and I quickly fell in with them and we work really well together. I want to keep working with all of these ladies in the future. Not to mention that they are some of the few people I can always speak English to and they can help translate for me when I don’t understand something, or (more likely) I can’t express what I want to in Romanian.

12. Joking in class

What’s the best way to make a stressful situation easier. Jokes. We joked in classes during PST (sarcasm was the main way we communicated 90% of the time). And I continue to use that sarcasm and dry humor with my students in my English classes. It’s an easy way to make me less stressed/annoyed when things aren’t going well, and it also tells me who understands my English. When I say something sarcastically, those that smile or laugh show me who’s listening/understand. Its a great way to communicate with my students.

13. packages from home

Living abroad, you miss certain things. So packages from the states are gold, not to mention the Peanut Butter within those packages. Thanks mom, you have no idea how awesome those packages have been. Love, just buckets and buckets of love.

14. A Short (and much needed) Break

Exif_JPEG_420

Exif_JPEG_420

Exif_JPEG_420

Exif_JPEG_420

Exif_JPEG_420

Exif_JPEG_420

Every time I had a break this year it was unbelievably needed. Whether it was during the first part of the year during student teaching, after graduation, between PST and School starting, IST, or Christmas break. These breaks have helped to recharge my batteries and helped my push through the rest of the year.

The break I’m talking about most here though is my IST break in November. We (the English Ed. M31 volunteers) spent a week in the capital talking over different things that we have gone through in the last couple months. We partied together, we cried together, we slept in. It was awesome.

15. Christmas songs

Have you ever heard a second grader just start saying ‘jingle bell, jingle bell’ over and over again? It’s really cute, especially since that kid is working on something else and doesn’t speak much English. What do you do when that kid breaks out in Jingle bell? Well, I decided to sing along with him the correct lyrics, then seeing that I had the attention of every other second grader in the class, I taught them their first American Christmas carol.

My host teacher was so happy, that for the rest of the month (like a week and a half) I tried to teach a carol to every one of the elementary classes. Some learned, others didn’t but it helped to bring out the Christmas spirit that I had been really missing. So thanks, Dan, for beginning it all for me.

16. New Ways and New Places to Celebrate

Exif_JPEG_420

Exif_JPEG_420

Exif_JPEG_420

Exif_JPEG_420

Exif_JPEG_420

Exif_JPEG_420

Exif_JPEG_420

Exif_JPEG_420

Exif_JPEG_420

As some of you may know, a majority of Moldovans are Orthodox Christians, that means that they celebrate Christmas on January 7th, not December 25th. That being said, a good number of Americans decided to come together for the day and celebrate together in the capital. I was among this group as I was also planning on beginning my winter vacation that day.

I celebrated the day with seeing Star Wars (a pseudo-family tradition back in the states) and hanging out with friends. Good times. I spent the rest of the year traveling in Romania, Budapest, and I was just entering the Czech Republic at Midnight of the New Year. So here’s to 2016, not as much of a terrible year as everyone would have you believe. Either way, we’ll make 2017 just as memorable, if not more. :)

‘Til next time,

Angela

What happened? Despite what this title might make you think, this is not a post asking what happened after a night of drinking.