#(if anyone happens to actually know the writing system i would very much appreciate knowing if i messed it up or not)

[aevris]

revamped a character from 2016 :]

[spacelessbian]

DWP AU idea

idea for Mirandy White House AU which I would love to read, but can't write because I haven't finished a fic in about million years and this one would need to be long and complex

I just need to get it out of my system before I start writing it and abandon it after seven pages as usual. But maybe it could inspire someone?

here goes...

Miranda Priestly is a senator with a little bit of a reputation among staffers in Washington. Basically everybody and nobody wants to work for her, because she is tough and mean on purpose, but if you endure, she will help your career. If you're competent, that is.

Andy Sachs studies law or politology (or something like that) and she ends up interning for senator Priestly's office during one of her summer breaks. She learns a lot but ultimately decides she never wants to work for or with Miranda ever again. She develops a little crush on her but it's just a summer thing, it will pass. And it does, for a while.

Three or four years later, Andy gets her first job in Washington. Because she doesn't come from a wealthy or connected family, she doesn't have many options, especially since she is not that great at networking, so she ends up working for and elderly senator, who everyone knows will retire sooner than later. Still, Andy appreciates the opportunity and embraces the whole thing.

Meanwhile Miranda Priestly is no longer a senator, but a recently elected vice president, currently not in a great position as she is going through a rather public divorce. Andy follows the whole thing way more thoroughly than she would admit.

Andy's boss announces his retirement about a year into Andy's employment and she goes to a bar to drown her sorrows. There she crushes into Serena and Emily. She met Emily during her internship and Emily, just like in the movie, doesn't like Andy very much. Serena is happy to socialize however and after hearing about Andy's job situation, she tells her there is an opening in Miranda's office staff. The office being in the White House, Andy jumps at the opportunity, especially after being told that she wouldn't actually interact with the veep directly much if at all.

This works for a while. Miranda is way too busy to notice Andy, or so Andy thinks. It seems that Miranda doesn't remember Andy at all, which Andy thinks is great news. Andy enjoys working with the rest of the staff and is soon noticed for being good at what she is given to do. She eventually gets a promotion to a different position - a position much closer to the veep than originally expected. This also turns out to be fine. Andy is not as clueless as she was in canon, so Miranda has less reason to berate her. In fact they start getting closer...

About a year into Andy working in the White House, there is a party. Maybe a celebration. What ends up happening is Andy and Miranda kiss. It is very mutual and it rocks Andy's world. And then, literally the morning after this monumental event, Andy wakes up to the biggest news: the president resigned and Miranda Priestly will take his place. Suddenly the impossible romance became even more impossible.

That's all, that's the pitch.

Additional idea: Nigel could be Miranda's friend (not her staff), maybe he hopes to become her veep, but she appoints the (absolutely American) rival politician Jacqueline Follet instead to keep her in check or something? That could be nice. Anyway. If anyone could write something like this for me, that would be great lol.

[grapenehifics]

I have the house to myself this weekend which means I get to have musicals on in the background (I am the only one in my family who appreciates this art form) and this morning I've had The Sound of Music running and...I'm having thoughts. Fascism thoughts.

Anakin is nearing the age (early 20s) when he should be taking the Trials and he *says* he's sure he wants to continue on the Jedi path (his mom sure always really wanted him to! He doesn't want to disappoint his Master!) but he's always been a little unorthodox, a little different, and Yoda and Mace and the Council and even Qui-Gon try to (gently) tell him that it's okay if he wants to or needs to take a different path and this life isn't for everyone and there's no shame in it; there's lots of ways to serve the light.

Obi-Wan meanwhile (Force sensitive but his parents said no thank you when the Order came calling when he was a kid?) is fairly recently widowed with seven (or maybe not seven, but some number of) children who he doesn't see all that much because he's...not *the* leader of Stewjon but definitely a higher-up in their government (maybe like a House of Lords/ruling council sort of situation?). And he - like the Republic - sees the writing on the wall about the encroaching threat of the Empire and the members of the Republic who are against this idea (Padmé, Bail, etc) are very interested in keeping Obi-Wan on their side - he's maybe trying to convince the rest of his government to join the Republic? and if they do have to go to war Obi-Wan is one of the few with actual military experience (I'm picturing some sort of Admiral Yularen/Republic Navy-ish) - so when Obi-Wan asks the Order to send a Jedi as a governess for his kids (some - or all? - of them are Force sensitive too, but Obi-Wan and his wife kept them home as kids rather than sending them to Coruscant), even though the answer would *usually* be no (you can't have it both ways Obi-Wan; there are no part-time Jedi) the Republic basically begs the Jedi Council to say yes.

They (reluctantly) agree that sending Anakin to Stewjon might be okay - they wouldn't send anyone else but he's on the fence anyway and this might give him some time to decide if he really wants to be a Jedi or if a home and a family might suit him better. Anakin has to be talked into it - "you're kicking me out??" "NO, Padawan Skywalker..." - but he goes. Of course he actually bonds really well with all the kids (I love Anakin with kids!) and his new boss is surprisingly hot, especially in his Stewjoni military uniform.

Obi-Wan got (quite quickly, after his wife died) engaged to the Duchess Satine of Mandalore, which both parties (and everyone in their respective governments) know is a political marriage but they do also genuinely like and respect each other, and enjoy debating politics with each other - if war breaks out, Satine is determined Mandalore will remain neutral, and Obi-Wan argues against, and that it's their moral obligation to fight - but whatever happens, Mandalore wants Stewjon on their side and vice versa. She's busy running her own system but comes for a visit, and meets Anakin, and picks up right away on the rampant UST between Obi-Wan and his new nanny. (She finds this hilarious.)

Obi-Wan throws a Mandalore/Stewjon unification-type ball at his house (mansion, palace, w/e) and Anakin has the kids show off the more impressive of the Force "tricks" he's taught them (floating rocks, etc). The kids tell Anakin that their dad can move things with the Force, too, and he used to all the time, but doesn't anymore. Anakin is intrigued by this new knowledge.

They get word from Coruscant that Palpatine did as threatened and has staged a coup (?? haven't really worked out the finer details yet) and despite Obi-Wan's best efforts Stewjon as a collective whole looks like it's going to fall on the side of the Empire. He's not the only one determined to fight but he's definitely the most vocal/highest-ranking of the dissenters and Satine warns him that he at least needs to get his family out of harm's way, and if he can get them to Mandalore she can protect them and they can join the Rebellion from there. (Form the Rebellion? This part is still a little muddy).

(Obi-Wan checks that this offer still stands even though he's breaking up with her. She's like a) I called that and b) "oh my god Obi-Wan I'm a pacifist not a monster. I'm not going to let your family *die* just because you're marrying Anakin instead of me, what do you take me for?")

Their escape plan - like in the movie - is to perform in some sort of National Stewjon Talent Show, except swap the Force for a cappella singing. The Jedi - let's say Palpatine hasn't gotten around to Order 66 in this AU - attend this Talent Show, and *obviously* it's a cover for getting Anakin and the Kenobis out (they have to have the same conversation - "you mean you'll still help me even if I'm getting married instead of becoming a Jedi Knight?" "yeah, we're not dicks, it's the right thing to do") but no one can actually call the Jedi out on it even though while they're blinking their eyes all innocently they totally have bolt cutters and stun guns hidden under their robes.

Also there's a subplot where Obi-Wan's oldest breaks up with her boyfriend because "I DON'T DATE STORMTROOPERS."

(Someday I will be able to watch a movie without having Obikin thoughts about it. But it is not this day!)

[zephrunsimperium]

is Knowing Me, Knowing You a romantic billford story? what kind of story is it, actually? it looks interesting but I’m afraid to read any type of billford in fear of it being… not the best. what do you think of the ship, actually, since you’re such a fidduathor fan? also, does it end okay, even when incomplete? I have a lot of questions about the fic tbh. too scared to read it tho lol

Whooooo boy do I have a lot to say about this... I highly encourage everyone to read this entire post.

So, my thoughts on BillFord are extremely complicated. I am, first and foremost, a FiddAuthor shipper. That is the ship I consider canon and I even headcanon Bill to be aroace and actively encourage Ford and Fidds to get together because Ford needs to get over stupid societal homophobia plus it's fun to wear down the human's moral compass about hitting on a married man.

BillFord is a FASCINATING concept and it's not hard to see why the ship is as popular as it is despite the (well-deserved) stigma; a lot of things between them that can be read as fuel to the shipping fire. (ie the hair ruffles, the nose flick, the nicknames, the gold statue, the piano serenade, Ford being attracted to the strange, Bill offering to make Ford "one of us," even the possibly kinky undertones of glowy blue chains and bodily possession)

But the problem is that the ship can get very nasty very fast. Make no mistake, what Bill does to Ford is abuse. He is manipulative and violent and cruel. "Mystery bruises?" Literally torturing Ford on screen? Driving a wedge between Ford and his support system to the point that he has extreme trouble trusting people? Preying upon Ford's insecurities about being a freak? That is horrifying stuff, in particular because of how clear the parallels are to real world abuse.

With that in mind, let me talk about KMKY. I loved this fic to pieces. It’s written and organized incredibly well with a good mix of humor, sentiment, tragedy, and villainy without ever feeling off-balance tonally. The best thing about this fic, however, is the mature and nuanced themes about abuse: how hard it is to still love your abuser even when you start realizing that they're as bad as they are, accepting that you're a victim and have no reason to apologize, how an abuser's own trauma isn't an excuse for their actions. I really appreciate that the author has sympathy for Bill while still clearly acknowledging that "hey, what Bill did to Ford was abuse and Ford doesn't have to forgive him, much less take him back." A lesser writer would force Bill and Ford together, but that's not what happens because it's not what should happen.

So, for anyone who is interested in reading it... The gist of it is that instead of inviting Fiddleford to work on the portal, Ford makes a body for Bill to assist in person. The first 33 chapters develop their relationship (ft. Fiddleford being confused and stressed) and then Ford finds out Bill has been lying and eventually goes through the portal. It is very much a romance but the writing is so good that there are times when it's genuinely heartbreaking that the two of them won't work out.

I would definitely say that Bill is the main character (even though Ford has a significant amount of viewpoint time and he's the one you're supposed to root for) because he's the one who changes throughout the story. It's not a positive change, but it is an extremely compelling character arc. The characterization of Bill in this fic is particularly cool to me because he’s definitely a complete person, but he’s very clearly inhuman.

A little preview/incentive to read it: all of Bill’s underlings have individual personalities, Jheselbraum is a super important character and her characterization is... really cool (that's not a good description, but I was in love with it), the worldbuilding of all the places Ford visits in the multiverse was really cool and fun, there are great OCs like Wendy's mom, this mob boss guy that is a delight to hate, and a sarcastic kick-ass alien lady, Bill's backstory is really impactful, Pyronica is a bad bitch, Bill and Ford fight zombies while We Go Together from Grease plays in the background, there are cool themes about enjoying the mundane things in life and how society treats the Strange, and well-written humor that had me laughing out loud constantly. For as long as it is, all of it was extremely memorable and hardly any of it felt like filler. (I will warn you if you choose to read it, there is some serious steam.)

As for the ending... I totally understand why the author stopped writing it. They were trying to make it canon-compliant, but by the time it caught up to the show it was very clear that adhering to the canon material was holding them back. They did their best, but I could tell they weren't enjoying writing it and if you're not enjoying your art, then I don't think it's worth doing.

Wow that was a long post. Thanks so much for the ask, Anon! I hope this was a satisfying response!

[mostlyihyperfixate]

Okay. I gotta write 750 words a day to fill my quota, and I don't feel like journaling about my day today, so I'm going to do a quick-and-dirty discussion of my thoughts on "Ace Attorney: Apollo Justice" before I really get into the meat of the final case. I'll see if my thoughts change once I finish it.

I'm gonna be real honest: I don't think I like this game as much as the others. And I feel really bad about it! I didn't want to be the person that waltzed in and just was mad at everything because waaah it's not Phoenix. I went in here with the mindset that I was gonna like Apollo, and I was going to give him a fair shot.

Frankly, I think this game would be better if Phoenix was just, like, not in it. He could just be some legendary defense attorney who retired a while back and no one is quite sure he went (and it's certainly not to Europe to be with his husband or anything like that). Phoenix kind of weighs it down for me, because I am sad that he the way he is, and I'm mad that he's kind of being an asshole to Apollo who literally has done NOTHING WRONG, and I'm also mad that he doesn't really even seem to care much about Trucy. Maybe that's developed more in other games? I expected more out of that relationship. And so I am torn between wanting to know what Phoenix is up to, because I love him, and then being like, "Get out of here and quit being mean to Apollo with a smile on your face" every time Phoenix does show up.

And I like Apollo, but I feel he's…wanting. I don't feel like I know Apollo. Don't get me wrong; I know Phoenix was just kind of the generic every dude over his head in the first game. The most we really got out of him was one thing that happened to him when he was a kid. But he had enough of a personal connection or personal stakes in his cases (at the very least, his past relationship with Edgeworth was there because Edgeworth was the prosecutor) that I felt like I had SOMETHING to go off. And it's not like I need Apollo to have a tragic backstory or some deep reason to be an attorney. But I have zero! Zilp! Zilch!

He literally hasn't gotten to know a single one of his clients for one reason or another the entire game, so I don't feel like I have a grasp on them either! And Apollo doesn't even get the benefit of playing off the prosecutor like Phoenix did in every game. I don't dislike Klavier; his being a genuinely nice guy isn't bad. But he sure doesn't add anything to the story for me, and I don't think he adds much (if anything) to Apollo's character either.

And at the same time, I feel like this game is trying to be much deeper. It's trying to tell me something about the legal system, and corruption, and broken dreams. But at the same time, it's so much more cartoony than the previous entries. The first game was always the one that took itself the most seriously, I feel (and it's my favorite of the original trilogy), and I did say when I finished Trials and Tribulations that I felt it hit maximum soap opera in Bridge to Turnabout. I also said I loved it for that soapy-ness. But this isn't soapy. This is a cartoon. What's with all these characters suddenly changing appearances? What's with every single witness being an over-the-top weirdo? WHY is Spark Brushel????

Let's not even get into how much I loathed Turnabout Serenade. It gave me a much greater appreciation for Turnabout Big Top. I mean, sure, all those adult men were hitting on Regina, but at the very least I feel like Moe wasn't going to let anyone actually lay a finger on her afterward. She's in good hands. And Moe was self-aware that I wanted him to go to Clown Hell for all those massive penalties…

Now that I think about it, the tutorial case was probably my second favorite in the series, after the opening trial to Trials and Tribulations. But the other two…were not that interesting. I haven't been in a huge rush to finish this one. Which…I guess I started it two weeks ago, so it's not like I've been dragging my feet. But I'm perfectly capable of going a day or two without picking up my Switch Light to find out what happens next. I'm not staying up until, like, midnight to get to the next chapter.

I've tried hard to avoid spoilers, but I'm not sure I have any massive theories for how this is going to wrap up. I have been really suspicious of Trucy's uncle ever since he showed up. Now that he's in the flashback, I note that I have not, in fact, seen Trucy's uncle and Phoenix in the same place at the same time. So I wonder if he had something to do with…….something. And obviously Kristoph has something to do with….something. And Trucy's dad has the same first name as the guy that got killed in the first case, so clearly he came back to do…..something. I just don't know what those somethings are.

I will also say: No way did Phoenix ever have $100,000 to his name to pay someone to forge evidence for him, considering this (apparently???) happened two months after the end of the last game, and the only client that for sure ever paid him was probably Miles. Not sure if the game is going to try to red herring me on that or not. But I had a good chuckle at that.

Honestly, I'd love to see more of Apollo and Klavier (separately and together) because I think they COULD be interesting. So far, this game just has failed to develop them at all. Again, I think part of the issue is that Phoenix's presence casts such a long shadow. I understand the plan was not to include him in the game originally, and I'm a little torn because, again, I love him, and I want to see more of him…just not like this. And I think it's kind unfair to Apollo both in and out of universe that he has to share his debut game with Phoenix.

Someone reblogged my Klavier post to say that the last case in Apollo Justice was their favorite. I have read on other parts of the internet that it's generally considered the worst final case in the series. We'll see what happens.

[uh-niran-really]

Just want to say, you made me cry with the angst fanfic with the pregnancy and reader dying, I just today lost a dear friend of mine of 7 years because of certain circumstances and just needed something to help me cope and this definitely did the trick but if you haven’t could you maybe write a part two with a happy ending/ scenerio ( maybe the reader didn’t die but was definitely severely injured. I wanna know what happens with there life, does the baby come out looking like Niran does he get to experience<3 whatever you feel. If you don’t mind.)

Hi Anon! Firstly I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. Loss is one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with. I hope you’re coping okay and that you have a good support system around you. I’m glad the AU could help you in someway and I’m so sorry it made you cry, but hopefully it was more of a release for you.

I intended to keep it as a stand-alone but I felt inspired by your ask so I decided to write something for you. I hope this gives you some closure and good feelings. I’m always around if you ever wanted to talk about anything, or even if you wanted to request something else. <3

Secondly, thank you for being my first request. It’s been such a pleasure writing for you. I wrote this pretty quickly so I apologise if it has any spelling mistakes, ect ect! (I can fix those later!) I hope you enjoy it!

It had been a year since he lost you, the tragic day still playing over and over in his mind. He had gotten a bit of closure since then. Satya was to thank for that. She had actually ran to find Dr Ziegler to tell her about the baby, when Niran broke the news to her. Thanks to Satya, Niran got to meet his child. A child he loved with all his heart, just like he had loved you.

“Aww baby girl don’t cry. Come to daddy.” Niran scooped his. crying toddler out of her cot and rocked her gently cooing. Niran was an amazing father, just like you had always known. He was loving, compassionate and protective. “Daddy loves you Blossom!”

This past year had been hard for him to process. So much pain and hurt, but also joy as he got to care for the child he created with you. Blossom was a sweet child with gorgeous eyes that reminded Niran of yours. She very much looked like him, although Niran would always tell others she looked just like you. She was his pride and joy. His reason for not surrendering himself into madness and grief, although, no one would blame him if he did. He was a good father, anyone could see that.

Blossom was a little overtired this morning, causing her to cry out for her dad. She loved his attention and felt safe with him. He was her light.

“Shhh.. it’s alright my love, you’re just a bit sleepy hmm?” He spoke softly as he continued to rock her to sleep. “Fear not my little princess, nothing will harm you so long as I live.” She was everything to him. After that tragic day, Niran swore to protect his daughter with everything he had.

Soon she settled down, allowing Niran to continue working on his project. He was so close to being able to distribute his Biolight to those in need. He worked tirelessly to ensure his creation could be used by all, free of charge. He thought of you and the way you would bring him tea to his lab, and rub his shoulders when he was feeling tense. He missed having you around so much. He was working so hard for you.

“Niran?” Satya called out. She often came by to check on him and Blossom. She was his rock through it all.

“Oh.. Hi Satya.” He smiled a little and offered her a seat.

“How are you today?” She was concerned for her friend but knew how far he had come.

“I’m… me.” He shrugged. “Life won’t ever be the same without Y/N. But you knew that.” He offered her a warm smile. He appreciated his friend.

Satya nodded her head to show she understood what he was saying. Satya had always liked you. She was curious as to what kind of person didn’t find Niran annoying. She often enjoyed talking with you about common interests and sharing embarrassing stories about Niran from their academy days. Today Satya came to him with something important.

“Niran. I have some news.” Satya spoke softly. She was always careful around Niran now, always choosing her words carefully in fear of upsetting him, especially when it comes to the topic of you. Niran’s eyes shifted over to Blossoms cot, checking on her.

“It’s about… Y/N.” Niran tensed upon hearing your name. Your name was so beautiful, so lovely, so… forbidden.

“Satya..” He started before his childhood friend cut him off.

“I need you to come with me today. You can bring Blossom or I can have someone watch her.” She was being vague, but not intentionally. Niran knew Satya liked go be meticulous with details, so he figured there was more to this she couldn’t say.

“Hmm.’ He hummed, feeling drained. “If I must.”

———————————🪷———————————

Niran had changed Blossom into a pretty yellow summer dress with pink flowers on it, one of his favourites. It made him happy to see her all dressed up and ready for the day. He and Satya had gone shopping for new dresses recently, and my did she have so many. It kept his mind off the pain, when he saw his daughter so happy.

Satya was waiting for her friend so she could take him somewhere. He was curious but also apprehensive.

“What does this have to do with Y/N, Satya?”

“You’ll find out soon Niran.” She blinked at him like he was stupid, because to her, he kind of was. He asked too many questions and it annoyed her. She understood his pain though, better than anyone could have.

Satya created a teleportation portal and encouraged Niran to take a step through, once again ensuring to him it was safe for the baby, like always. Niran stepped through appearing in a lab. The walls were white with blue accents, and grey furnishings. The place looked busy yet had a serene calmness to it. He was in Dr Ziegler’s lab, on base.

“Niran! You made it!” Dr Ziegler called, rushing over to great both him and Blossom. “Oh how you’ve grown!” She cooed softly to Blossom, making her giggle.

“Hi Angela.” Niran smiled softly. “What’s going on? Why am I here?”

“Niran, what I’m about to tell you might be a shock, so I want you to sit down.” She gestured to an office. Niran nodded and handed Blossom to Satya before taking a seat. He was growing more and more concerned by the minuet.

“Please Angela just tell me what’s going on. Is it my daughter? Are there some side effects to her treatment?” Niran worried. “I won’t lose her too!”

“No no, nothing like that.” Angela smiled. She took a seat in the chair across from him. She was shaking a little, Niran assumed it what she was about ti say would be hard for her. “Niran. I’ve been working on a project this past year. That project was Y/N.”

Niran was confused and he felt a little sick at the mention of your name again. He missed you so much it hurt. The thought of reliving those memories again were just awful. Seeing your fragile body laying on the floor as death pulled you away. He dismissed those thoughts from his head and tried to focus on what Angela was saying, although it was really hard. She was giving him an explanation and all he could think about was you.

“Niran, are listening to me?” He snapped out of his daze and looked her in the eye. “She’s alive, Niran.”

Alive. You were alive. He felt his heart skip a beat and almost stop. How was this possible? How could you be alive. His eyes sparkled with tears that threatening to spill.

“Would you like to see h-“

“Where!” He stood up ready to sprint towards you. This was all so much for him but he needed you. He felt like he was going to pass out but he dismissed this feeling in favour of you.

“Niran wait, there som-“

“Angela please!!” He yelled desperately, pleading her to tell him where you were. He needed you, he needed you so much.

“Right down the hall, last door on the right-“

And with that information he took off, sprinting down the hall, despite Angela calling for him to wait. His heart thumped wildly inside his chest. A small part of him doubted this entire situation, but the hopeless romantic in him longed for this to be real. He craved you and the thought of having you back was all that kept him going as he continued to run down the long hallway. Was this real or just a fantasy that he dreamed up in his head? Was it all just one big sick joke? Was he really about to see you. Satya watched as he ran down the hallway, she smiled knowing what he would find at the end of the hallway. She had checked herself to ensure his happiness.

Niran reached the door and hesitated. He wasn’t sure if he could proceed inside, something holding him back. Fear. What if it wasn’t you, but oh what if it was.

“Please.. please be her..” He whispered before opening the door.

And there you were, as beautiful as the day Niran lost you. He could hardly believe his eyes. He stood in the doorway stunned watching as you looked out the window, the sun rays hitting your gorgeous face.

“Y/N..?” He called and you answered all his questions once you turned around and smiled at him. Time stopped for a moment as you both stood there watching the other until time suddenly resumed.

“Niran!” You sobbed. He hadn’t changed at all, in this moment he was your happy and cheerful Niran.

He dashes across the room and scoops you up in his arms and holding you for dear life. You were everything he needed and more. Blossom had her mother back and you could finally be a family.

“Oh my goodness.. you’re so beautiful!” He cried, tears spilling from his face. You giggle at his words and hug him tight. You couldn’t imagine how much this meant to Niran. After so long he was finally with the love of his life. All that pain and suffering had melted away from him and he felt like a bird free from its cagey prison.

“How is this possible..? You died my love.” Niran scanned your body with his eyes looking for signs that could lead him to an answer. You looked as pure as a fresh flower blooming in the spring. Everything about you was unchanged, for the most part.

“Niran.. I.. I don’t have a heart anymore.” You watch his face turn from a smile to a sad frown. He wasn’t disappointed with you or considering a split from you, he was remorseful. He blamed himself. “Dr Ziegler was able to bring me back, I now have a machine pumping my blood around and keeping me alive.. I’m sorry if you don’t want me anymore.”

“Oh my sweet sweet Angel. I couldnt want you more than I already do right now. You have the biggest heart out of everyone I know.. and if you’re missing your organic heart, well, you can have mine.” He lean down and plans a kiss on your lips. He’s missed this feeling. He always loved to share deep and tender moments with you. He thought he’d never get this chance again. “I’ve never stopped thinking about you Y/N.”

You were happy, so happy you could almost swear you felt your heart thumping. Maybe Niran had that effect on you. You loved him so much and he loved you too. This moment was everything he dreamed of.

“I hope I’m not interrupting, Niran.” Satya stood in the doorway holding your daughter who was fussing for Niran. “This one couldn’t stand being apart from you.” She smiled softly and handed Blossom to Niran to took her on his arms and cooed her to settle her down.

“Shhh baby girl, it’s okay Daddy is here my sweet.”

You stared at the baby and blinked a few times. She looked just like Niran. Gorgeous brown irises with stunning platinum hair. Niran smiled at you and offered you the baby. You were confused but remembered your own baby who you assumed you had lost. Your hand went to your stomach as you remembered.

“Y/N, this is our daughter, Blossom.” Niran smiled. He understood your confusion and wanted to help you understand. This must have been hard for you and he knew that.

“Blossom.” You smiled. Typical Niran to name your daughter after nature. It was a pretty name and your daughter smiled at its mention. She gurgled and reached over for you with grabby hands.

“Someone’s excited to meet you hmm?” Niran beamed. This was the happiest he had felt since the incident. You could feel his giddy energy and it made you laugh. You reached out and took Blossom holding her in your arms. She was beautiful, happy and well looked after. He really had done a good job looking after her. You imagined he had some help from Satya or maybe a few others, but you were still so proud of him.

“She looks like you huh.” Niran leaned in and kissed the top of Blossoms head, earning a happy chirp from her.

“Seriously Niran? She looks exactly like you.” You laugh. Of course he disagreed spending a few moments pointing out all the features that reminded him of you. You didn’t see it completely, but it made him happy and that was all you ever wanted for him.

Naturally, Niran didn’t like the idea of you going back on missions. He was mostly against it, but would respect your wishes. He preferred for you to stay home where it was safe, yet he understood if you didn’t want this. The decision was yours after all.

You decided to visit the base as word had spread that you were back and the whole base was ecstatic. Niran accompanied you with Satya on hand to help with Blossom where possible. He doted on you and couldn’t help sneaking you small kisses or hugs. He wasn’t very sneaky however as the whole base could see, but neither of you seemed to mind. Friends commented on his change in personality and how they were happy to see him smile at something other than Blossom. They told you stories of how Niran stepped up to look after your daughter, how he was the best father possible. This made you smile so much. You always knew he would be. Everything was right in the world again. Niran had you back and he was smitten with you all over again. You look at Niran and he smiled at you blowing you a kiss which you caught and hugged close to your chest.

Suddenly he got down on one knee and held your hand. His gorgeous white hair glowing from the sun. His face was soft and wore a look of pure love and adoration. He couldn’t have looked more perfect if he tried. He stared up at you for a few moments, taking in your beauty. Blossom giggled and clapped from the arms of Satya, who had taken her so Niran could focus on this moment.

“Y/N, my sweet and beautiful flower. I love you more than my heart can take. It’s truly yours to have and to hold. Y/N darling, will you marry me?”

“Of course Niran!” You sobbed as you leapt to hug him. This moment was everything for you both. The whole base clapped and cheered. They were all so happy for you. No one more happy than Niran.

[majorbaby]

Tell me about your bj/frank/margaret headcanon

lol unfortunately it's not very sexy* because BJ would never, and he's full of boring excuse like "i'm heterosexual" or "it would be wrong".

some may imagine that HawkBeej have a soul connection upon their first meeting and I don't begrudge anyone that, but I personally don't agree and I don't think the writers would either. there is a reason BJ and Hawkeye have that whole traumatic trip back from Kimpo, the heart-to-heart in the bar (it might be Rosie's, idr)... all that stuff was necessary for them to bond. that's what BJ saying "Ferret Face" really symbolizes - the sealing of the "television bffs" contact between Hawkeye and BJ, they need both parts of "Welcome to Korea" for that to happen.

as far as I'm concerned, if Frank and Margaret had gotten to him first, who's to say he wouldn't have fallen in with them - headcanonically speaking only, this couldn't have happened on the show because BJ is ADAB assigned deuteragonist at birth. I think BJ does have a certain respect for authority and an appreciation for someone who he thinks knows what they're doing. i could see him falling into a disastership with Frank and Margaret lol, spearheaded by him thinking that "they seem nice" read = kind of weird and horny for him, Frank was creaming his pants reading BJ's resume lol I didn't say it, the writers did. he's like a third wheel, but they're both really into the idea of him.

like just imagine Frank and Margaret buttering him up, telling him what a great surgeon they imagine he is, and how great it is that he's joined them. Margaret swooning a little over BJ's gushing about his wife and child, and frank swooning even more because "oh Dr. Hunnicutt is a Phi Kappa Delta* wow Dr. Hunnictt you look sooo great in your class As heehee"

While I don't think BJ would reject Hawkeye entirely as potential friend if he met him later, he does on multiple occasions show disdain for the various ways in which Hawkeye expresses himself and his opinions. They have a lot in common but their value systems clash, and tbh you could say the same for BJ and Frank/Margaret. Actually, Frank and BJ have some common ground in terms of "American Values", which I hate very much thank you showrunners.

And for Hawkeye's part, he'd probably be put off if he saw BJ so much as getting along with Frank and Margaret lol, Hawkeye can be petty like that.

In my mind this would be played up for maximum humorous effect, with BJ's coming to the horrifying conclusion that he's made a huge mistake and writing home to Peg about the whole thing as if she can do anything about it. The final straw comes when he catches the (married) Frank Burns making out with Margaret. This is offends his senses in a much more visceral way than any of the other vaguely questionable things he's heard Frank and Margaret utter, which sort of make him tilt his head like a beagle trying to understand if he's heard them correctly.

*while i was writing this someone else asked about them so i am going to try my very best to find a way to make it... 'sexy' is not the right word, more like 'sexual. evil. awful'

*Phi Kappa Delta not an actual frat, simply the first three greek letters to come to mind

[pockcock]

if you're okay talking about it can you go a little detail about your break up. i am tryna get over one rn and i don't know what to do or how to react. no worries if you don't feel like talking about it i totally get it💖

hi anon <3 I put an undercut to not bother anyone with my ex relationship but I hope it helps you <333 tw: abusive relationship, suicidal thoughts, mentions of suicide

I honestly want to talk about it but at the same time, I don't wanna be the person who CONSTANTLY talks about their ex (though my therapist told me it was okay to talk about it since it's a new thing).

We'd been together for 5 years and in those 5 years, he emotionally abused me. I was told by my previous therapist that he was abusive but it's a very... sudden and intrusive almost information. Your lover, the one with whom you wanted to marry, and someone says he's abusive. It's not an easy thing to accept. But even before that, I could see signs, I'd stumble upon other people's posts/videos and be like "they're describing him? no, it can't be..." so it was a painful process.

You may ask "Sun, why did you put up with him for 5 years?" and the best answer was given by my therapist: "He'd given you a cup of water with a drop of poison every day. And now you're watching the footage of that day thinking 'The water did taste funny! Why didn't I realize this earlier?' but it's impossible to know when you're actively in that situation."

I've stayed because I loved him, believed that he loved me and he did actually love me. This doesn't excuse the fact that he's abusive. (Here goes the anger stage of grief~~) He had diminished my self worth slowly but surely, made sure I was being more insecure while feeding me the "I made you more confident," lie, praised himself and belittled me, my traumas and my struggles. He made me believe that I was abuısive, sexist, unsuccessful, ungrateful, selfish, etc. He even said "All you do is lay down all day, you can do your assignments. Had it been me in your situation, I'd still be on top of my classes with 3.50+ GPA," while I was recovering from my leg surgery. He told me this when I was trembling from the pain. I couldn't even breathe from the pain some days, let alone sleep, eat or anything. And amid all this, I was depressed so much so that I attempted and was fortunately saved by my cat <3

He would start fights or escalate the fights I started and would disappear for HOURS. One of those days he told me "you'll start appreciating me when I'm gone," and again, disappeared for hours and I had to call the police to which he responded with "i have enough shit to deal with and now I have to deal with the shit you caused." Same thing happened again and that's when I decided to break up.

These are just a fraction of what he'd said. And, as my best friend said, good riddance. I'm so glad I'm no longer with him.

I fortunately have a great support system. My mom, my family, my best friends and my therapist help a lot. Plus, I'm currently working and that's a good distraction too!

I honestly don't know how your relationship was, how you two broke up but I'm hoping it wasn't like mine. If you want to talk, find people who'll listen and won't judge you. Find friends who'll support you regardless of what happened between you and your partner. It is okay to talk, to want to scream, to cry. You're going through the stages of grief, just like I am and it's health!

While you're grieving, do not, DO NOT hurt or ignore yourself. Do not be angry at yourself. Take care of yourself, regularly shower, brush your teeth, do your skincare routine even when these things feel like a chore. One thing that helps me a lot is to pretend like I'm a youtube who's filming their skincare routine, shower routine, dental care routine etc. It's fun and motivating. You can even film yourself while doing those things!

If you don't have anyone to talk, write. Write about it on tumblr, on twitter, on reddit, anywhere you feel comfortable with. If you don't want it on the internet, write on a paper, keep it or throw it away. But don't hurt yourself. Don't be angry with yourself and don't ignore yourself.

I hope you feel better soon! Break ups are messy and hurtful even when they're not as messy/hurtful. It's going to be okay! I promise <3 Now drink some water, eat chocolate and watch your comfort show/movie! You're doing amazing!!

[livehexmoments]

here’s some Hex hcs about some of the characters in no particular order!:

Reginald doesn’t like drinking rootbeer or most sodas! he likes making it, serving it (used to kind of), but gag if he has too much of it. He only drinks it in small sips and even then, it’s only for special occasions or get togethers. He actually prefer things that are sour and i mean, this man can eat a lemon whole and be fine. He has been working on making specialized rootbeer that’s more sour but it’s a work in progress (Weasel accidently drank a sample and almost threw up)

Reggie’s first name is Rootbeer and he fucking hates being called that. Every time he introduces himself, he has to insist the person calls him “Reggie”. When the patrons found about this, you can bet Weasel and Chandrelle took turns calling him Rootbeer just to piss him off

Going off of names, “Chief Bryce” is not Bryce’s full name, it’s just Bryce. Chief is just a title. If anyone did call him Chief, he wouldn’t mind at all though

FPP’s actual name is Lionel according to the Walk, but due to...reasons, they don’t like the name at all. Honestly, I think they would change their name to “Joe”. It sounds weird, but when Rebecha called them “Faceless Joe” I can totally imagine them clinging onto the name only because it has barely any association with Lionel. They try to separate themselves from Lionel so much.

O btw in my hc, FPP uses they/them pronouns exclusively!!

FPP has a couple ways of communicating with the inn members: sign language (they learned how to do it themselves and then taught the others how to. Can be difficult for them because they can’t move their arms very well), Morse code (same story), simply drawing or writing it out, using sound effects from a soundboard they found (uses this if they want to annoy everyone), or using face masks to express how they feel about something. 

Oh yeah speaking of that, FPP can’t really move their joints very well :(. They can move their arms up and down as an example, but can only move them left or right a little bit.

Rust’s vision is super fucked. Literally, he can’t see anything that isn’t 2 feet in front of him. 

Rust does know that Rocky isn’t his biological son, just never cared to tell Rocky because 1. he didn’t want Rocky feeling any type of way and 2. It doesn’t matter to him that much, Rocky will always be his kid, regardless if they are biologically related

Lazarus has cosmic radiation, thats canon. But, because of said radiation, his immune system is incredibly weak. If he gets the flu, he’ll go from being sick to critical condition in minutes. It’s also why he does get sick often

While Catarina says their relationship is like “Master/follower” it’s really not the case. However, I will say that it can sometimes manifest and is an unhealthy flaw of their relationship. Jeremiah can be a bit too loyal to the point of putting himself in danger to get Reggie what he wants and Reggie's stubbornness can lead him to getting mad when Jerry says no (Which is rare). Still, fighting between them is rare and when it does happen, it is absolutely not something you want to stick around for. 

Thankfully, they don’t last very long because they’re both lonely and being away from each other for more than 10 minutes is painful. Longest they fought and refused to talk to each other was a month (and it was hell for everyone involved)

Chandrelle is introverted as hell!! I usually think of her and Lazarus on opposite sides of being antisocial. like “oh no people!! (Lazarus) vs. Ew people (Chandrelle)”

FPP loves giving hugs and holding hands!! They were stuck in the walk which had barely any characters they could physically interact with so sometimes they’ll go up to any of them and either ask for a hug or hold out their hand. 

FPP does love his new found family very much. For all their flaws, he does appreciate how they basically accepted them in and it shows with how nice they are to them...even if they can be a bit creepy about it, by following them around and trying to hang out or watching them do their thing intently

Lazarus doesn’t smile very often, but when he does, it’s the most awkward smile ever. Even his laugh sounds a bit off because he’s not used to doing it. Chandrelle loves it though, it’s honestly cute (He gets a bit annoyed when she says that)

JUNIOR TRANS!!! Changed his gender after SOL and went to Vicious Galaxy (Moji is a gender neutral name with Moglees and honestly look at them, they do have a little bit gnc swag). Also in the files, he goes being referred to “mojikid” or “kid” to “mojison” so,,,  trans rights. Also love the idea of Lazarus and him having a moment of understanding with each other

I imagine Wizarro constantly changes his story with the lipstick on his cheek and how he got it (“I was in a dating sim once”, “it was a secret in joke with the creators”, and “I had a secret relationship with one of the fighters ;)” as examples). Are any of them true? Probably not but he just likes to fuck with people, hes a funny little wizard man.

Ok one more because this is getting long: I hc Irving as bisexual. Not just because I am making “every dmg character is queer” a reality but also because of this meme: “get a girlfriend” “or a boyfriend! He’s bi.” “Damn nobody wants you fr 😂😂 ” “I’m saying like 😂😂” (Changed it to laughing because i love bullying him FWQEWERG, imagine any of the inn patrons @ him)

[many-but-one]

I don't care either way if you post this or not, but reading your thread about how y'all's journey has been through trauma work and processing resonated with me so hard. I'm the new host and the first ws know of to have a subsystem, and I remember more of our trauma than the previous co-hosts. And even then I've been told I don't know everything. February is a trauma anniversary for us and our work has gotten unbearable with our new manager. like even if we weren't going through all this brain stuff our body is in so much pain idk how much longer I can work. But its that AND all these new developments. This new memories, and new/discovered alters, and the fear of not knowing what's going on. Anyways. Just wanted to say your writing spoke to me and I see you out there surviving.

Hey, glad it resonated with you. We are honestly due to update that again, as a lot of things have happened since that last update. Which, we share the absolute bare minimum anyway and that post has honestly become more for our own documentation than for anyone else. Seeing where our host started to where we are now is jarring. And I am a part who knew about a lot of this stuff (definitely not all, but I knew we were a system of many many parts at the very least), but even I could not have predicted where we would be now. We’ve had a couple of fusions and some major changes in hierarchy the last couple of weeks.

Overall though?

Coping sucks. This shit sucks. It’s not fun or glorious. There are definitely times when it’s enjoyable. There are times when we can enjoy being a system of parts. Like when I help Jade do her makeup and help her put a wig on because she doesn’t know how and she gets to see someone that looks at least slightly more like herself than ever before, or inside jokes, or seeing something at the store and thinking of your inner world best friend and knowing they’d like it, so you get it for them. Seeing videos others would like on youtube and saving it to their playlist, seeing art or music they would like and saving it for them (our screenshot folder is…ugh, I don’t wanna talk about it), and having a camaraderie together is what makes the suffering just a little bit more okay. We all know we are here to protect each other, even when it hurts. There’s a sense of self love in that. Jules (old old host, the one that started this blog and has fused down and split a few times since then) said something once that has always resonated with me and with a lot of other systems we know. “DID is the ultimate act of self love and self preservation. Your brain did this to protect itself. To protect you.” It can be easy to be angry or frustrated by all of this, but we have learned that rather than be angry at ourselves, it is much better to be angry toward the people actually responsible. The abusers. Being able to comprehend that what happened wasn’t our fault and dealing with some of that shame has helped us move leaps and bounds forward.

I hope the best for you moving forward and I appreciate the ask. It’s been a long few weeks. I’m already ready for this year to be over.

🪷Vivi👑 (he/him)

[aprilsadviceaskblog]

I've been really struggling with trying to tell someone important to me that I think I have bpd but I'm really afraid of how to go about it, and afraid of it making our relationship worse or at least more tense. Any advice?

This person is likely my FP as well as being my only support system. I want to tell them I might have BPD so they might understand me and help me better. I've explained symptoms and hinted at the fact that I might have the disorder but they misunderstood what I said a lot.

The biggest concern I have is that I'm actually faking, that I don't fit the symptoms enough and that this discussion will lead them to think I was faking it for their attention, or that I was just stupid and insensitive. I also worry that it would mess with our relationship because of the stigma around the disorder. I know that they don't know very much about the disorder, but I'm worried that they do know the stigma.

Losing this person is my single biggest fear, but at the same time I'm genuinely not sure how much longer I can take not reaching out. Your advice would be deeply appreciated, but don't put too much weight on your shoulders. If you don't have an answer I'll understand.

-📐

Hi anon,

This has been sitting awhile and I’m really sorry. I’ve meant to come back and give this ask the detailed response it deserves but I haven’t had the energy to write it all out.

I will say that thinking you’re faking is a very common thing a lot of us experience. And the thing is, I think it’s extremely unlikely to “fake” this disorder because that usually requires a conscious thought. With BPD being so stigmatized, I can’t really see anyone wanting to have it.

To be blunt, if they think you’re faking it for attention, then I think that’s good to know because they likely aren’t a friend for you. You deserve someone supportive and who, even if they’ve heard the stigma, is willing to listen and learn. You deserve a friend like that. Please don’t forget it.

When it comes to teaching someone about the disorder, you’re right that the stigma is a thing. If I were in your shoes, I’d be open to hearing what they had to say. I’d try and listen calmly (so long as they weren’t getting aggressive and accusatory). I’d then gently teach them if necessary. For example, when I’ve told someone in the past about my disorder and they raise concerns that are based in stigma, as hard as it is… I try not to get defensive. While it isn’t fair, I’ve found people are more open to learning in a calm discussion. It isn’t your job to educate people. It really isn’t. But I’ve opted to for people I care about and want to have relationships with. If they have shown me they aren’t open to learning, then it isn’t a relationship for me. If they are open to learning, then I’m willing to put the work in to teach them.

The possibility of losing someone is terrifying. I’ve lost FPs and honestly didn’t know how I’d survive. Even if the worst happened, I promise you it can and will get better.

Sorry, I’m feeling a bit burnt out so I’m not sure I’m articulating myself well. If anyone else has input, please share. Because I didn’t really answer the question.

[verdanabditbackup]

Tag masterpost & Info

First and foremost: To try to get around Tumblr's auto-flagging system that would get me shadowbanned, I'll be censoring all d☆rty words, and all mentions of the terms SS/FF/WW and NN/SS/FF/WW will be substituted with the rot13 equivalents "FSJ" and "AFSJ". FSJ and AFSJ will have separate tags because I personally prefer being able to filter out the h☆rny sometimes. I don't use nicknames for AUs very often, so mind the tags to figure out which I'm talking about. (Sometimes it's vaguely either-or)

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Pairings

All of these are same-universe brother/brother inc☆st. Please block me and the tags if they trouble you.

If any give the result "Page cannot be found", it probably means that I just haven't posted anything with that tag yet, rather than the hotlink being broken.

Undertale (All)

Undertale (FSJ)

Undertale (AFSJ)

Underfell (All)

Underfell (FSJ)

Underfell (AFSJ)

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Fellswap Gold (All)

Fellswap Gold (FSJ)

Fellswap Gold (AFSJ)

Horrortale (All)

Horrortale (FSJ)

Horrortale (AFSJ)

Underlust (All)

Underlust (FSJ)

Underlust (AFSJ)

G (All) (? Whatever it is where Sans and Papyrus have fused with Gaster?)

G (FSJ)

G (AFSJ)

Vague pairing (All) (Vague enough that it could be any of the above, usually referring to them as energetic brother/lazy brother. Will still be tagged as fontcest for visibility.)

Vague pairing (FSJ)

Vague pairing (AFSJ)

Pairing traits Separated into both character specific and personality specific for your tastes! I know the latter half aren't grammatically correct but I don't want to disrupt the grammatically correct tags. These are mostly for avoiding the ones you don't like, as they aren't in use on FSJ posts or posts where it doesn't specify who has what role.

Dom Sans

Sub Sans

Dom Papyrus

Sub Papyrus

Dom Lazy

Sub Lazy

Dom Energetic

Sub Energetic

Post types

Open prompt / Imagine (All)

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Open prompt / Imagine (AFSJ)

Art

Observations & headcanons (Usually can be read platonically)

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Finished fanfic (FSJ)

Finished fanfic (AFSJ)

Info under Read More / Keep Reading.

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Info

I'm reposting things from my Twitter because Twitter is constantly on the verge of collapse, and I got frustrated with how difficult it was to find other peoples' posts on Twitter. I wanted to be able to easily find their prompts, imagines, daydreams, etc. but it's pretty impossible once an account has like 20,000 tweets. So I wanted to collect all of mine in one place, since it's what I would have wanted others to do too. (Let it be encouragement, maybe? I want to read all your fontcest thoughts.)

I would just move here from Twitter, but Tumblr banned the you-know-what in 2018 and all the real activity is on Twitter. If the ban never happened, I would have never left Tumblr in the first place. And they're never going to un-ban it. But because I'm not posting AFSJ in a visual medium, I should be alright to post here at least.

If any of my silly little thoughts inspire you, please use them. I can't write much, so they'll do nothing but sit here. If the same prompt inspires more than one person… then let there be as many cakes as everyone wants to bake! No credit necessary, but appreciated.

I don't think anyone here would really want to talk to me, but if you ever send me a message and I don't reply for a long time, you can probably safely assume that Tumblr ate it or shadowbanned me, so I never actually received the messages. You can send anon messages on curiouscat, or message me on Twitter. I use the same name everywhere, so if Twitter goes under, I'll still be easy enough to find.

[charlies-letters]

August 25, 1991

Dear friend, I am writing to you because she said you listen and understand and didn’t try to sleep with that person at that party even though you could have. Please don’t try to figure out who she is because then you might figure out who I am, and I really don’t want you to do that. I will call people by different names or generic names because I don’t want you to find me. I didn’t enclose a return address for the same reason. I mean nothing bad by this. Honest.

I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn’t try to sleep with people even if they could have. I need to know that these people exist.

I think you of all people would understand that because I think you of all people are alive and appreciate what that means. At least I hope you do because other people look to you for strength and friendship and it’s that simple. At least that’s what I’ve heard.

So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.

I try to think of my family as a reason for me being this way, especially after my friend Michael stopped going to school one day last spring and we heard Mr. Vaughn’s voice on the loudspeaker.

“Boys and girls, I regret to inform you that one of our students has passed on. We will hold a memorial service for Michael Dobson during assembly this Friday.”

I don’t know how news travels around school and why it is very often right. Maybe it was in the lunchroom. It’s hard to remember. But Dave with the awkward glasses told us that Michael killed himself. His mom played bridge with one of Michael’s neighbors and they heard the gunshot.

I don’t really remember much of what happened after that except that my older brother came to Mr. Vaughn’s office in my middle school and told me to stop crying. Then, he put his arm on my shoulder and told me to get it out of my system before Dad came home. We then went to eat french fries at McDonald’s and he taught me how to play pinball. He even made a joke that because of me he got to skip an afternoon of school and asked me if I wanted to help him work on his Camaro. I guess I was pretty messy because he never let me work on his Camaro before.

At the guidance counselor sessions, they asked the few of us who actually liked Michael to say a few words. I think they were afraid that some of us would try to kill ourselves or something because they looked very tense and one of them kept touching his beard.

Bridget who is crazy said that sometimes she thought about suicide when commercials come on during TV. She was sincere and this puzzled the guidance counselors. Carl who is nice to everyone said that he felt very sad, but could never kill himself because it is a sin.

This one guidance counselor went through the whole group and finally came to me. “What do you think, Charlie?” What was so strange about this was the fact that I had never met this man because he was a “specialist” and he knew my name even though I wasn’t wearing a name tag like they do in open house.

“Well, I think that Michael was a nice guy and I don’t understand why he did it. As much as I feel sad, I think that not knowing is what really bothers me.”

I just reread that and it doesn’t sound like how I talk. Especially in that office because I was crying still. I never did stop crying.

The counselor said that he suspected that Michael had “problems at home” and didn’t feel like he had anyone to talk to. That’s maybe why he felt all alone and killed himself.

Then, I started screaming at the guidance counselor that Michael could have talked to me. And I started crying even harder. He tried to calm me down by saying that he meant an adult like a teacher or a guidance counselor. But it didn’t work and eventually my brother came by the middle school in his Camaro to pick me up.

For the rest of the school year, the teachers treated me different and gave me better grades even though I didn’t get any smarter. To tell you the truth, I think I made them all nervous.

Michael’s funeral was strange because his father didn’t cry. And three months later he left Michael’s mom. At least according to Dave at lunchtime. I think about it sometimes. I wonder what went on in Michael’s house around dinner and TV shows. Michael never left a note or at least his parents didn’t let anyone see it. Maybe it was “problems at home.” I wish I knew. It might make me miss him more clearly. It might have made sad sense.

One thing I do know is that it makes me wonder if I have “problems at home” but it seems to me that a lot of other people have it a lot worse. Like when my sister’s first boyfriend started going around with another girl and my sister cried for the whole weekend.

My dad said, “There are other people who have it a lot worse.”

And my mom was quiet. And that was that. A month later, my sister met another boy and started playing happy records again. And my dad kept working. And my mom kept sweeping. And my brother kept fixing his Camaro. That is, until he left for college at the beginning of the summer. He’s playing football for Penn State but he needed the summer to get his grades right to play football.

I don’t think that there is a favorite kid in our family. There are three of us and I am the youngest. My brother is the oldest. He is a very good football player and likes his car. My sister is very pretty and mean to boys and she is in the middle. I get straight A’s now like my sister and that is why they leave me alone.

My mom cries a lot during TV programs. My dad works a lot and is an honest man. My Aunt Helen used to say that my dad was going to be too proud to have a midlife crisis. It took me until around now to understand what she meant by that because he just turned forty and nothing has changed.

My Aunt Helen was my favorite person in the whole world. She was my mom’s sister. She got straight A’s when she was a teenager and she used to give me books to read. My father said that the books were a little too old for me, but I liked them so he just shrugged and let me read.

My Aunt Helen lived with the family for the last few years of her life because something very bad happened to her. Nobody would tell me what happened then even though I always wanted to know. When I was around seven, I stopped asking about it because I kept asking like kids always do and my Aunt Helen started crying very hard.

That’s when my dad slapped me, saying, “You’re hurting your aunt Helen’s feelings!” I didn’t want to do that, so I stopped. Aunt Helen told my father not to hit me in front of her ever again and my father said this was his house and he would do what he wanted and my mom was quiet and so were my brother and sister.

I don’t remember much more than that because I started crying really hard and after a while my dad had my mom take me to my room. It wasn’t until much later that my mom had a few glasses of white wine and told me what happened to her sister. Some people really do have it a lot worse than I do. They really do.

I should probably go to sleep now. It’s very late. I don’t know why I wrote a lot of this down for you to read. The reason I wrote this letter is because I start high school tomorrow and I am really afraid of going.

Love always, Charlie

[jackienautism]

hi again!! no worries at all :) take your time replying lol, i know these updates are usually like. long. and your replies are so detailed! so i get it.

as for my initial confusion with the support system, it was kind of... everything? that i didn't really get at first? it was easier to find a system with byleth where i was getting supports quickly once i figured everything out, vs getting supports with the other characters was a little trickier.

dorothea and sylvain's supports were.... actually pretty good imo? i enjoyed their a support. their paired ending wasn't awful either, but idk. i think i'd just rather pair them with different people. as for ingrid, YEAH, i intentionally didn't get her to a support with anyone besides byleth bc i'm pretty sure the only characters she had paired endings with who i had recruited were felix and sylvain. and i was not doing that.

ferdie and hubert are good!! and MAN caspar and petra's supports..... SO good definitely recommend getting those. i liked their ending fine, but the supports were definitely a highlight and idk if i could do a playthrough without getting them. so interesting. next playthrough (where i'm planning on getting the dorothea and petra paired ending) i'm probably gonna get these two to a support again as well.

and YAYY i love supports between the girls they're sooo good it makes me so mad that so many of them only go to b support!! at least the ones i was getting last playthrough. but i'm v excited to see petra's and dorothea's. and YAY petra in a tree. i love that.

YEAH i thinkk my "recruit everyone possible" route is gonna be. CF. because in that route you can spare hilda and claude, who i like, and if i have to pick between killing dedue and dimitri or killing edie and hubert.... well. i like dedue but it's an easy choice.

yeah i played through marianne's paralogue!! definitely enjoyed it and it very much elevated her to my favorite non-eagle character last playthrough lol. i'm soo excited to see more of her!!

and ty for the class thoughts!! yeah increased mobility is good, i think i'll probably try putting at least more of my units on mounts this time around, but who knows. i like coming at battles and leveling from a character perspective, sometimes to the detriment of actual strategy, but it's fun at least, so. we'll see!

so. i've given little update on my playthrough because i. haven't really played that much. instead, i missed the eagles sooo bad that i convinced my brother to play and hoped he would pick the eagles (he did) so now i've been watching him play (and in true older sibling fashion. sometimes taking the remote and playing for him. just a little bit. it is my switch.) anyway! i now understand how you felt a little because i'm sooo worried he's not gonna side with edie. i've been subtly sprinkling in anti-church of seiros comments to influence his choices LMAOO. im also sooo sad he doesn't really like bernie or hubert </33 his favorites right now are petra and edie though which is good taste. and he also likes caspar and dorothea a lot.

i'm finding on a replay that i am so much more fond of ferdinand than i was my first time around. i didn't realize just how much he had grown on me until i was back at the start and everytime he speaks im like. omg that's my friend ferdinand von aegir. LMAO. still not gonna recruit him on my VW playthrough but it is absolutely gonna murder me not to lol.

anyway! i do plan on playing more VW today. i'm very excited about claude LOL. and i feel a little less distraught about betraying my eagle besties when i'm simultaneously watching a playthrough where that (hopefully) won't happen.

have a good one :)

HIII oh im glad then, i appreciate you saying that! and i love how long your updates are, it rly shows to me how much you care and thats so epic 2 me... thank YOU for taking the time to write these out for me!!!!

mm i see i see. i guess it makes sense that it was easier to get supports w/ byleth since that's like. the main character. and you basically get support points (????) from doing basically.... everything. like the instructing characters individually and even just choosing the correct dialogue choice during explore? it gets you support points or whatever so i can def see that being easier than getting stuff between 2 other characters. its esp annoying since w/ the others you mainly gotta do thw whole like... these characters must be in range of the same enemy unit to get the lil hearts (support points) during battle. and that can get tedious and like i said. annoying. and besides that... you have to eat a meal w/ them or do choir practice to boost support between the 2. which. can only occur so many times per explore. and that also requires you TO explore during free days. which also can only occur so often per month. hopefully that makes sense? dfknf i dont rly know where I was going w/ this. but anyway glad you understand what's going on w/ the supports a bit more now! good luck getting the endings you want this time around!!!! AND THE TEA TIMES TOO.... I TOTALLY FORGOT ABT THOSE.... butyeah youre right theres def a lot more that can be done to get byleth supports w/ the characters

well thats good! i still have yet to see them... gonna try and get all the supports between the black eagles this crimson flower run then do another where i get the supports between the BE and other characters! if that makes sense. and yeah fair enough, do you have any preferences for who you pair them with btw :o? DFJNGDFG YEAH OKAY SO IT WAS PROB INGRID WHO I WAS THINKING OF... its like. this girl has a legitimate fear over only marrying someone just to have kids . just to further her crest's bloodline . or maybe im just making that up. BUT ANYWAY I DONT FEEL RIGHT PAIRING HER OFF W/ ANY GUY BC OF IT TBH!!!!! i rly like dher supports w/ ashe though... i thought they were rly cute, esp their A support. i dont understand why we can't A support her w/ any girl though. its so dumb !!!!! but in relation to her supports w/ felix, regarding their B support, if ANYONE, i dont care how long ive known them, told me to get married and have children or fucking whatever felix told ingrid i would SLAUGHTER someone. i get felix has a problem w/ the way she and other characters view being a knight and therefore the "knight mentality" but jesus christ............

FERDIE AND HUBIE ARE SO GOOD!!!!! i esp love the whole like tea / coffee thing... that was cute iirc. and okay boss !!!! ill def get caspar and petras supports! im def more interested in them now that you mentioned them :] do you plan to recruit caspar and petra durinf your VW playthrough? or do you still plan to do one BE and one BL? regardless have fun w/ them!!! and have fun w/ dorothea and petra's paired ending next run through<3

YEAAAAH THE GIRLS<3333 AND RIGHT???? ITS SO ANNOYING..... LIKE I GET THAT SOME ENDINGS ARENT EXPLICITLY ROMANTIC (like lysithea and raphael's iirc) BUT THE FACT WE CANT EVEN GET TO /SEE/ AN A SUPPORT IS SO ????????? PLEASE... NINTENDO AND INTELLIGENT SYSTEMS PLEASE TELL ME YOU CHANGED THAT IN ENGAGE...... i just want to see my bestie girl friends interact w/ each other without there being a guy involved is that too much to ask. which supports were you getting between girls last playthrough (eyeballs)? bc like... in previous games all characters w/ supports got to go up to A support.... just some (the ones between same sex characters :/) didnt have an S . which, im glad three houses changed that, in terms of same sex characters actually getting endings together, but sometinmes only having TWO supports between characters is sad

WOOOO CRIMSON FLOWER!!!!! but yeah makes sense.... i was gonna say that in azure moon you can recruit hilda but yeah id well rather not kill hubert and edie.... also did you have to fight dedue in his demonic beast form in CF? bc im pretty sure if you defeat him before he transforms, its left ambiguous whether he dies or not. or not. i cant remember much tbh. i jsut remembering getting a cutscene w/ a black screen of him talking to dimitri. BUT YEAH. ANYWAY. HAVE FUN DOING THAT RUN!!!!!! its nice to have all the best friends on your side

MARIANNE<3 oh inm so glad that you did her paralogue and whatnot! its going to be fun to see her interact more w/ her classmates. she's still mainly quiet during group discussions but she does talk every once in awhile! or maybe she speaks every tijme? i can't remember so dont take my word for it sorry. AND IM FGLAD TOHEAR THAT SHE WAS YOUR FAVE NON BLACK EAGLE FROM LAST PLAYTHROUGH!!! a win for marianne fans

and of course! im not an expert by any means but. thats just what ive experienced while playing and stuff. and by the coming at battles and leveling from a character perspectivve, you mean like. going down a route that you think best fits them right? if not, please let me know what you mean fdgjfg sorry. but either way, makes sense! obv go w/ whatever makes you the happiest :] bc thats what matters msot in games like this.... esp whe n theres jusr SO much you can do and accomplish

AND OHHHB THATS SO AWESOME DFKGDFGG the same actually happened w/ me!!!! thats so fuunny and cool! i got my brother to play after he watched me play a bit and gosh its so fun to watch someone else play. esp when they have the same general opinions as you (he also chose the black eagles and edie as his first route, but thats prob bc of my propaganda LOL) and ssame w/ the older sibling fashion,.... he makes me do all the class bullshit, and sometimes battling, but he's gotten a lot better as he played more! we've been meaning to play together again... hopefully soon! happy that you're getting to experience the same!!!! and FJDGNGF SPRINKLE IN THOSE ANTI CHURCH OF SEIROS COMMENTS YEAAAHH i totally approve of that, ill be over here hoping that he sides w/ edie too. NO BERNIE OR HUBIE????? WELL. HOPEFULLY THAT CHANGES WHEEN HE GETS TO THE TIMESKIP..... (assumign he chooses to side w/ edie, which he BETTER) ouuugh petra and edie<3 good choices for sure. hopefully that means hes more likely to go down crimson flower than silver snow! caspar and dorothea are absolutely good side faves yes yes

FERDIE NAND<33 OH IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT DKFGNDGF your friend ferdinand von aegir ))): thats so true.... and i feel that..... have fun not recruiting him and therefore having to face him later in battle i assume <////3 i will be hoping for the Best

YESS CLAUDE IS SO AWESOME,.... I WONT SAY MUCH BUT I LOVE HIS CHARACTER AND HIMM SO VERY MUCH...... since you enjoy edie and her route, im sure youre going to enjoy him as well! and thats good!!!! it must be nice to be able to see them in action again through your brother.... ONCE AGAIN HOPING REAL HARD THAT HE CHOOSES TO SIDE W/ EDIE. I WILL ALSO BE VERY DISTRAUGHT IF HE DOESNT

hope you have a great one too my friend<33333 thank u again for sending these in :D

[alluringjae]

au cours de l’été - jjh

⤑ translation: over the summer

⤑ summary: this is a story of an exhausted painter who needed a breather from the hectic city life. so aside from moving to the countryside, the needed air in your lungs also came in the form of a person. this summer meant for pure relaxation, perhaps your heart may dive into him too.

⤑ pairing: jaehyun x female reader

⤑ word count: 15.2k (so much for saying that i’ll be writing shorter stories)

⤑ genre: fluff, romance, smut | author!jaehyun, painter!reader, strangers to lovers!au, 50s-60s!au, summer love in france!au

⤑ warnings: me inserting some french phrases because I want to practice (feel free to correct me if I made mistakes, i’ll appreciate them), fictional interpretations of real-life people, explicit language, jaehyun being such a romantic pls im in tears, mentions and scenes of burnout (the worst)

⤑ playlist: everybody loves somebody by dean martin | c’est si bon by eartha kitt | it’s always you by chet baker | les yeux ouverts by emilie-claire barlow | a sunday kind of love by etta james | the most beautiful thing by bruno major | try again by jaehyun and d.ear (duh) | free love (dream edit) by honne | petite fleur by jill barber | plus je t’embrasse by blossom dearie | so this is love by ilene woods and mike douglas

⤑ author’s note: this was an idea that just came to me after pinterest kept recommending me poetic beauty/try again jaehyun, so here we are! i intended to write less than 5k words but sometimes plans don’t go as planned once you really invest in the story yet i’m really happy how this turned out!

the romantic exhilaration in my bones are off the charts because this is jaehyun we’re talking about lol enjoy!

⤑ masterlist

⤑ leave me some feedback, constructive criticism, or hellos!

3 juin 1957

The city life overstimulated your entire system, losing your brainpower and inspiration. Another exhibition that’ll feature your works with other influential painters was happening at the end of the year, and you had nothing prepared so far. You’ve crashed to the deep end of creative fatigue.

So you needed to get away again; somewhere quieter and surrounded by nature.

That’s why you ended up in the countryside down south, somewhere within Provence. It’s purely just for the summer, but extensions were okay as long you get back at least a month before the show. Filing that leave of absence at the studio you worked at was worth it.

You rented an apartment overlooking the marketplace, where the heart of the village was. After arranging things from your boxes and luggage the entire day, you found out that you lacked in the food department.  

So the succeeding day, the entire morning was spent on grocery shopping downstairs then stocking them inside your refrigerator, freezer, and pantry. Right after changing out of your pajamas into a flowy floral dress and sandals, you decided to bike to the bakery that locals suggested. A must-go place for newcomers, they all raved.

“Café des Étoiles Perdues.” (Café of Lost Stars.)

The clear chimes of the bell resounded through the small, cottage-like lobby as you entered inside. An old woman, whom you assumed was the owner, welcomed you openly.

“Oh la la, vous êtes belle! Vous vous appelez (Y/N), la nouvelle venue, n'est-ce pas?” (Oh la la, you’re beautiful. Your name is (Y/N), the newcomer, right?)

She complimented, making you shyly mutter your answer. Wiping off the flour from her apron, she introduced herself kindly.

“Je m’appelle Camille. Mes spécialités sont les macarons pisctaches et des croissants avec des amandes. Autre chose que tu aimes?” (I’m Camille. My specialties are the pistachio macarons and croissants with almonds. Is there anything else you like?)

“J'aime tout ce que vous suggères, Madame.” (I’d like anything that you suggest, Madame.)

A younger man, who went by Jaemin, was a part-timer barista who asked for your coffee order. As he directed you to the best seat of the café, which was outside overlooking the garden of blooming sunflowers, you pulled out your sketch pad so you could capture this dreamy view. It was nothing like you’ve ever seen in your life.

You’ve decided on a theme already for your exhibit thanks to your conversations with locals yesterday, which was related to freedom. After being chained to cities for so-called better living and financial standards, it’s actually how your inspiration to create squeezed the life out of you like a lemon. Although it was fun at first to see those tourist spots, it eventually got tiring.

Another matchstick to graze intensity through your bones was what you prayed for.

While you’re engaged in a rough sketch of the scenery, the dandy presence of a young man entered the café with his books. White shirt, red trousers with a matching beret, he sported freckles on his pale face. Despite visiting his favorite café numerously, Camille was overjoyed to see him and his serene smiles.

“Jaehyun! What brings you here?”

“Bonjour, Madame! I’m starving for your croissants because I ran out back home.”

“Not to worry! I’ll pack up some so you’re on your way.” She lightened him up like one of her kids, taking one of the bigger paper bags.

“No rush though, Madame. I’ll be reading and working here for a bit here.” Jaehyun affirmed, bringing it out his wallet and called out for Jaemin.

“Un café crème, s’il vous plait.” (One cup of cappuccino, please.)

Jaehyun’s usual chair was by the large window, overseeing the wide garden planted by the citizens of the village way before he was born. It was places like this he missed after moving to the city for his education and work’s sake. 

That’s the thing when you’re coming from a rich family; you don’t have much of say with what your parents order you to do. However, his recent request to stay in his childhood home (or mansion) again was fulfilled because he couldn’t search for what he needed in the cities anymore.

Jaehyun was a sucker for romance; an old romantic others would say. A lot of women mistook his kindness as flirting on many occasions, but ironically he just wasn’t looking for anyone yet. 

Starting as a novelist in the said genre based on real-life stories of people he met in Paris, Barcelona, London, and more, his stories were popular hits especially to young adults who aspire to find love one day.

However, traveling to the known places no longer felt fun as he got older. The stories he gathered were very similar, just in different languages. It took an enthusiastic dinner with his family, specifically his only older sister Krystal retelling fond stories from their younger years to get the idea of moving back for a bit. So consumed with the city life, he wanted to see things from another perspective.

What was the difference between a love story formed in the countryside than in the city?

It’s been a month since he arrived, but he didn’t hurry himself to do his research. He’s been reading books in his family library, revisiting monumental places, exploring around the village, and reconnecting with old friends as if he never left. 

Readjusting to his former life would make writing easier when he’s motivated enough to do it again. Besides, his books were profiting well enough to his taste; good enough for the next 10 years according to his personal accountant, Kim Jungwoo.

Jaehyun resumed reading this book his mother recommended him before he left. Entitled “Réessaye”, which was about a young man who reunites with his childhood sweetheart after his arranged marriage failed. After what she put her through, he’s hesitant whether to try again or let her go.

Jaehyun enjoyed reading books with realistic outlooks on love because he found them more meaningful, enlightening how exactly it makes you feel and do. Even if he enjoyed reading sappy, fairytale-like stories from time to time, he always returned to the real ones as they only displayed the truth.

That love isn’t always rainbows and sunshine, but something that can also break you especially if you go after the wrong person. This kind of mindset was how he toiled on his stories, which gained him a status outside of his unavoidable labels such as “the only striking son of the Jeong family” or “Valentine Boy”.

He diligently browsed through the climax, where the main male character confessed all his constrained emotions to his sweetheart. But it was until Jaemin pressed the bag of croissants in front of his face after placing down his childhood friend’s drink to disturb his peace.

“Reading again?” He taunted, snatching his book away and throwing the bag on Jaehyun’s lap. “When are you writing that book already? Everyone is practically dying for you to release something new again!”

Jaehyun flatly shook his head, drinking his coffee quietly. It’s not the first time anyone asked (or pressured) him about his next release, and it’s the last thing he wanted to think about. “Not in the mood right now, Jaemin. Now off to work before Madame Camille scolds you again.”

“You’re just stalling because you have nothing to write, don’t you?” Jaemin cunningly expressed, raising a brow. He’s known to catch onto the people’s bs easily; the last person you’d want to say your secrets too and Jaehyun realized too late. Though lucky for him, Jaemin shut the topic down right away so he wouldn’t pop a vein.

“Sais-tu de la nouvelle venue dans le village, d'ailleurs?” (Do you know about the newcomer in the village, by the way?)

“Une nouvelle venue?” (A newcomer?)

Being stuck at his mansion recently, news about village affairs were now late to him. Jaemin’s finger discreetly pointed outside the window, pertaining to a young woman sat outside painting her view in front of her.

That would be you, shading all the flowers in bright colors.

Seeing a new face amazed Jaehyun, especially when she was almost someone right out of a book. In a neat bun with white daisies printed in her dress, she crossed her legs whilst continuing her movements. She bit her lower lip, frustrated over an accidental smudge she made and trying to fix it by blending it with another color. When she accomplished it, she swapped brushes. A thinner one, to outline the shapes of the flower. Her lips curved to a smile after finishing another one perfectly with the rest.

“Jaehyun?”

Jaemin snapped his fingers to his distracted friend, zoning out the window. Still something he hasn’t stop doing, he pondered. With a final snap, Jaehyun broke away from falling hard from his abstract. Jaemin calculated the problem so quickly, analyzing his friend breezily like his medical school requirements.

“Elle est splendide, n'est-ce pas?” (She’s gorgeous, right?)

“Elle ressemble à une personne décente.” (She looks like a decent person.)

Jaehyun pushed it aside, flipping back to the page where he stopped reading. Before Jaemin responded, the door chimed open again to alarm him that a new customer came in. He excused himself to his friend, warning him that this wasn’t the last time he’ll talk about the newcomer too.

Jaehyun nodded along, not taking his friend’s cheeky words so seriously. However, the final result you attempted to create tickled his curiosity, so he slyly peeked from his book to the window.

You’ve freed your hair down, victorious to have started your collection this early in your break. A fantastic start, you let the paint dry first and munch on the croissant that served as your reward. However, you ‘re quick to notice a manly figure glancing through the window. From the side, his brown eyes appeared lively even if his entire face was hidden by the book.

Réessaye by Mark Lee; he must be a romantic. Every person in your studio read it, excluding yourself. Painfully beautiful, they’d summarize it.

Daring to meet more people, you locked eye contact with him. He didn’t expect it, almost flipping from his chair. Bashfully, you waved him a hello to somewhat break the ice. However, it broke his composure, and suddenly, he scurried off with his things from the café.

Now, you got quite worried. You checked your tiny mirror if he saw anything unpleasant with you, but you’d say you look relatively fine. Oh, maybe you could redeem yourself the next time you saw him. After bidding goodbye to Camille and Jaemin, the latter chased after you when you prepared yourself on your bike.

“By any chance, did you say hi to a guy with brown eyes and a red beret?”

“Well, more like I waved at him, then he zoomed out. Did I do something wrong?” You questioned with concern, putting your hands on the handles.

“That’s my friend, who’s quite reserved with strangers. I’m sorry on his behalf.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” You brushed it off politely. “See you again soon, Jaemin!”

Peddling away, letting the cool breeze fan you, your mind reverted its thoughts to that strange man. Maybe you’ll give it some time; you had a lot of it.

“Shucks, he was pretty cute.”

12 juin 1957

The world must really be on your side with these good decisions because you crossed paths with the strange man again in the café a week later. But instead of running away, he asked nicely if he could sit across your free chair in front of your table outside. It was a Saturday, and the place was packed.

“Joignez-moi, s’il vous plait.” (Join me, please.)

You insisted, giving yourself time to subtly observe his physique a lot more. Freckles dotted under his eyes like a constellation, bushy eyebrows, pink cheeks to match his pale complexion, and wearing a fuzzy knit sweater that meshed well with his green beret. He had some sort of necklace too; there was a heart pendant.

“Vous êtes une artiste.” (You’re an artist.) The small wooden palette of paint beside your small sketch pad was exposed, finding it as a great icebreaker.

“Une peintre, spécifiquement. Franchement, les visuels ici sont trés captivants qu'à Paris.” (A painter, to be specific. Frankly, the visuals here are more captivating than in Paris.)

“Je suis d’accord,” (I agree,) Jaehyun leaned against his chair, taking a better look at you with the remaining light from the descending sun.

“Oh, vous êtes comme moi. J’habite à Paris aussi.” (Oh, you’re like me. I live in Paris too.)

“Bon, je suis née à Londres. Puis, j’ai déménagé où je voulais en Europe depuis j'avais 18 ans. Mais oui, j’habite définitivement à Paris maintenant.” (Well, I was born in London then moved wherever I wanted in Europe for inspiration since I was 18. But yes, I live permanently in Paris now.)

You clarified, beginning to enjoy his comforting company. Initiating conversations with people you’re not acquainted with wasn’t in your range of skills, though he didn’t have an intimidating vibe. He looked too youthful to act like that.

“Je m’appelle (Y/N), d'ailleurs.” (I’m (Y/N), by the way.) You stuck out your hand as a sign of respect, which he enthusiastically obliged.

“Salut, (Y/N). Je m’appelle Jaehyun.” [Hi, (Y/N). I’m Jaehyun.]

He kissed it in a gentleman fashion, applying the manners he’s been taught since he was a child. Should you have been flustered, but no.  It’s been a long time since anyone greeted you like that, specifically back home.

Throughout your talk, you learned more about who he was, his job, and what his life in the countryside is like. He was an author of romance novels, yet you’ve never heard about him prior. Heavily prioritizing your work, you don’t keep up with the new releases or trends at all. Though after mentioning his last name, it piqued your interest.

“Jeong? As in the business, Jeong Tea Inc.?”

“Correct.”

His family was one of the most affluent families in Parisian society. Old money immigrants from South Korea, they brought their tea business to France and it boomed successfully. You’re quite sure you’ve seen his parents in past exhibits, but never did you approach them because you were a rookie then. But he reassured you that it was fine, and to just treat him like you’d treat your friends. Plus, it came to your knowledge that he was the same age as you too.

He opened up how this village was where he lived his childhood, so he asked his parents if he could hand over their mansion for a while for rest. It then shocked both of you at how identical your reasons were for staying in the countryside.

“I’m burnt out from the city, so I’m trying to regain my spirit here hopefully. Besides, I needed a change of scenery after living there for 3 years. My longest stay yet outside of London!”

“I need new ideas for my books. The cities don’t charm me anymore, so I returned here for peace and quiet. Maybe let these ideas come to me rather than me going after them.”

From a bigger lens, people would conclude your interaction as a sight of two artists who passionately talk about their art. But to you, you’d interpret it as two relaxed, young adults in their twenties who simply wanted to run away from the pressures of their art and enjoy the summer as every young adult should.

Not cooped up in the studio or office, but innocently waltzing around with your youth while it’s still there.

début de juillet 1957

“Dépêche-toi, (Y/N)!” [Hurry up, (Y/N)!]

Jaehyun yelled at your open balcony from downstairs, parking his mini car beside your bike. He planned on taking you somewhere a little farther this time; to absolutely feel like one of the locals.

The countryside urged you to wear more dresses and flat shoes, so you took out a turquoise dress with a white scarf to wrap on top of your head. Like your relaxed fit, your mindset too was calm. Upon meeting him, he wore his round spectacles with a red knit sweater over a white turtleneck long-sleeved top. His fingers were adorned with silver rings, then around his neck was a thin black ribbon. He curled some of his hair again, a style you really liked of his.

You can’t lie, but this man could pull any trend or style and still look extra pretty.

Out of all the locals you’ve befriended in your stay, Jaehyun was always your companion. He took you to varying places that those locals don’t visit nor tourists acknowledge in their reviews for the past few weeks. For someone who hasn’t been in the village for a long time, his memory didn’t disappoint. His childhood was only filled with cheerful moments.

Today, he was taking you to a peaceful district of shops in the farther part of the village. It’s where he’d buy sweets, journals, and accessories with his mother, Krystal, and one of his housemaids every other weekend.

All the stores there were currently bombarded with blooming flowers along their alley, bringing more enticement to those who were roaming around. There was so much life here; the head waiter of one restaurant smiling at every passing customer, one florist handing a free flower to anyone who asks, and a young lady showcasing her jewelry collection to a bunch of women who looked like tourists.

“Cette librairie vendent des livres enveloppés dans du papier. Ma mère m'a offerte l'un d'eux pour mon anniversaire tous les ans comme une surprise.” (This bookstore sells books wrapped in paper. My mother gifted me one of them on my birthday every year as a surprise.)

He trained his attention at a rustic shop with open wooden windows giving a glimpse of their shelves.

“Avez-vous fini les lisant?” (Have you finished reading them?)

“Du début à la fin.” (From cover to cover.)

He took you to this rooftop restaurant overlooking the entire plaza. Since he didn’t arrange a reservation yet didn’t get rejected, he must know the owner. Especially how a lot of the staff gave casual hellos and high fives.

Speaking of the owner, he walked out of his kitchen to introduce himself to you. He went by the name Moon Taeil, another one of Jaehyun’s childhood friends whom he used to play at his house whenever his parents came along.

Gobbling up in the appetizing food Taeil prepared beforehand, Jaehyun brought up your painting exhibition again. He loved hearing artists talk about their works, wanting to know more about their driven mindset and what their imagination is like. After all, it does vary for everyone.

“So far,” You poked your fork through the chicken, taking a bite of it. “I’ve produced 3 paintings. The garden of flowers outside Café des Étoiles Perdues, the kids playing hopscotch in the alley, and the peach tree outside your house.”

“Woah, you’re on a roll.” Jaehyun clapped across you, pouring you another glass of water. He recalled the nights you ranted not having any clue what to do for the exhibit. Then after taking you to more places, he’s rewarded to see you be creatively active again. “How many artworks do you left to make?”

“Around 3-4 left. I have ideas already, but I’m still brainstorming.” You internally rejoiced, loving how much progress you’ve made. “How about you, Jaehyun? How’s your progress?”

Unlike you, Jaehyun still felt stuck. Although he did find couples around the village, none of them intrigued him as much as his past stories. But he won’t give up easily; that’s not in his work ethic.

“Still searching, but I’ll get there.”

Recently, you got ahold of some of Jaehyun’s books from him personally since they weren’t sold in the village. You wanted to understand how he became so well known outside the labels people put him under. Reading his first novel entitled “Des Papillons” (Butterflies), it was about a couple separated during World War II without contact or knowledge about their well-being. Yet whenever they saw butterflies on the day they parted, they took it as a sign that the other was alive wherever they were.

You’re always hanging on the cliff when the scenes revert back and forth to the main male lead getting stuck in intense war scenarios, rooting for him to get out alive each time. In the end, it took 7 years before they were reunited and wed.

Jaehyun had a wonderful way with his words and descriptions, managing to enwrap you in as if you’re also a character in the book. Like how you rooted for that male lead, you’re rooting for him to find his spark again.

Following this uplifting conversation, Jaehyun finally took to your greatly anticipated spot. It was the main viewpoint of Gordes, one of the most beautiful hilltop villages in the country. The sunset was about to hit, and the lights from the city across you slowly turned on like a bunch of dominos.

As you marveled at its aesthetics, Jaehyun leaned against the hood of his car. He sensed how in awe you were, more than you ever were in the city he assumed. So used to the city that being surrounded with nature became foreign to you.

He took out his polaroid camera from his trunk and captured a photo of you from behind. The shutter sounds were obvious, turning your back at the commotion. Jaehyun fanned the freshly printed photo to dry, giving a mischievous smile.

“What can I say? While you’re fawning over the view, mine was more enamoring.”

Although Jaehyun felt overwhelmed the first time he locked eyes with you, he can’t resist the power of his developing feelings for you. The more time he took you around, the more his heart found different details about you to admire. After listening to all those love stories in the past, the people he spoke to shared how there will be some distinct moment where your heart decides who they’re longing for.

That exact view of you by the cliff, he already knew.

He’s infatuated by you.

“Tu es très ringard, Jaehyun.” (You’re so cheesy, Jaehyun.) You scoffed sassily, with a hand on your waist.

“Un gentleman ne ment jamais, (Y/N). Allez, il fait nuit maintenant.” [A gentleman never lies, (Y/N). Come on, it’s night already.]

He cleverly responded, grabbing his car keys from his pocket. The trip back to the village was energizing, putting down the roof of his car to relish the chill breeze of the night weather. You even raised your arms in the air, losing your scarf even from the speed Jaehyun went at!

The two of you belted along to the songs on the radio when the fields were the only ones surrounding you, no neighbors to shout at your rambunctiousness.

The late-night hours drew by so quickly almost like dinner with more of Jaehyun’s friends didn’t happen. Arriving at the front doors of your apartment complex, Jaehyun raced over to your side to open your door. Always maintained proper observation of manners, you appreciated that side of him. Rarely anyone in Paris that you’ve encountered treated you that way because you were a foreigner.

“Bonsoir, (Y/N).” [Goodnight, (Y/N).]

“Bonsoir, Jaehyun. Quand est-ce que je te revois?” (Goodnight, Jaehyun. When can I see you again?)

“Demain et après-demain. Appelle-moi quand tu es libre.” (Tomorrow, and the day after that. Just give me a call when you’re free.)

With a short wave, you entered your building and marched up to the stairs. A good day only meant being tired to the core, ready to crash and fall in your soft bed. Opening your wide windows to let more of the cool breeze in, your eyes easily caught Jaehyun’s classy car still there. As for the owner, he didn’t move an inch from his leaning position.

“Rentre à la maison, Jaehyun! C’est tard!” (Go home, Jaehyun! It’s late!) You shrieked, peeking side to side to make sure none of the neighbors scold you.

Jaehyun laughed wholeheartedly, not budging at all. “La nuit ne fait que commencer, ma chérie.” (The night has just begun, my darling.)

“Comment tu m'as appelé?” (What did you call me?)

Either your ears were fooling you or he addressed you by a divine pet name. The gasp you swallowed, as your entire body tingled with exhilaration. Your mind would simply disregard it like his former teasing words, but your heart begged to differ.

Rather than responding with words, Jaehyun’s voice serenaded you with a wondrous song, C’est Si Bon by Eartha Kitt, that played on the radio earlier. Out of the blue, a random guitar accompaniment followed his baritone vocals.

“En voyant notre mine ravie,”

Against the railing of your wired balcony, your body shifted forward to watch him better.

“Les passants dans la rue, nous envient,”

Your hand perched on your cheek, admiring his talent.

“C'est si bon de guetter dans ses yeux,”

It was like a lullaby, and here you were drowning in its peacefulness. Sensing the passion he gives off in his singing, your heart couldn’t refrain the strings inside from being swayed and tugged.

This was your moment of realization: that you too were smitten.

“Un espoir merveilleux, qui donne le frisson…”

À la mi-juillet de 1957

“Hello, nature!” You greeted brightly as your legs raced the huge garden in his manor. It was the first time he invited you over, too lazy to go out of the city. His social battery needed a recharge for the weekend, so a picnic within his home would do the trick. Additionally, it was an excuse to bring you over after the numerous times you’ve begged him to.

Jaehyun merely shook his head, enjoying the rush of childlike fun in your veins while you squealed and grazed your hands through the flowers.

He carried a wooden basket full of treats his family maids cooked, taking his time to venture through the rows of flowers. They were growing healthily and phenomenally these days, sometimes riding his bike to personally water them since he became busy with writing again. Lately, he found inspiration again, and so he wrote day and night to set them free.

“Voila!” You yanked out a sunflower, sniffing it a little. “Come on, Jaehyun! Pick up a few for our lunch!”

He followed your order, picking out some he found ideal. But just for fun, he put down the basket and carried you from behind out of the blue. You tried kicking him away, but his muscular arms can’t compete with your soft ones.

“What are you doing?”

“You said to pick up a flower, so I did. The prettiest of them all.”

His flirtatious words were never serious, yet you took it as a compliment. That’s how high your confidence is. Only we define our own worth, not others. The two of you chatted more about your lives until the first rain of the season poured down, chilling down from the raging heat. None of you had an umbrella; the weather was too unpredictable.

Deciding to just run for it, he gave you the wooden basket to protect yourself whilst he used the blanket you’ve sat on. Running with laughter to return to his mansion in the muddy dirt, the cool drops shivered your figure yet felt fantastic.

If you were in the city, you’d panic because it’d mess your appearance and your boss would be infuriated by your unprofessionalism. But in the countryside, it didn’t matter at all. The condition of the rain wasn’t budging to improve, getting stronger by the minute. His entire house even lost power, his housemaids having to bring candles to his bedroom and your assigned one once night dawned.

It was hopeless to return home for you, plus it’s dangerous to drive in in the dark, narrow streets too. Jaehyun handed you some of his fresh clothes so you’d be free from flinching from cold dress sticking to your body.

“Get dressed and some sleep, (Y/N).”

Nodding, you excused yourself to find the bathroom. You’d assume it’d be easy, but this was your first time in his house; a mansion even. Doors from left to right, long corridors that seemed never-ending, no maids were within the vicinity whom you can ask for guidance.

Resorting to return to Jaehyun’s chamber for help, you were taken aback by what your eyes laid on. In front of his full mirror, he discarded his now-dried shirt. Even with the dim lighting, you could make out that he was fit by the transparent view of his abdomen. Peeping like this was wrong, yet you couldn’t turn away just yet. The heat in your cheeks was inevitable, finding composure in such an unholy sight.

Though a gear in you suddenly twisted; a gear that straightened your nerves. You’re taking a bold move on the chessboard of your feelings. Wholly opening his bedroom door again, you leisurely sauntered inside without warning.

“Oh, (Y/N)! Ne peux pas trouver la salle de bain?” (Oh, (Y/N)! Can’t find the bathroom?)

Unbothered as he stood shirtless, you on the other hand silently dropped his clothes on the floor. Holding intense eye contact, your fingers graciously unzipped the side of your dress. Inch by inch, the tension built up like the strong tiny flames lit on the candles around you two. Joining the pile of clothes, all that remained were your white lace undergarments. Unplanned for the get-go, it’s the ideal set for your earlier outfit at the picnic.

“Je me suis perdue, mais je pense avoir trouvé quelque chose de mieux.” (I got lost, but I think I found something better.)

Your fingers grazed your arm up to your collarbones, faking your naivety. From your lust-filled stare, the glint in Jaehyun’s eyes darkened. He gulped at the revealing sight of you, brushing his hair back to restrain himself.

None of you could utter a single word, only the vivacious rain being the only sounds ringing around you. Thus, you allowed your actions to pursue precisely what you desired to do.

Taking baby steps towards him to test the waters, he met you right in the center and closed the leftover space. His hands cradled your face, whilst yours clung to his chest. His lips tasted like red wine, watching him pour in a glass for himself earlier. He did offer, yet you declined.

Your tongue darted his lower lip, gaining access after. Sensing the edge of his bed, you plopped yourself down the cushion. His knee urged your legs to widen, letting his body slide in. From your face, his fingers lowered to the back of your bra, snapping the clasps open.

“It takes skill to accomplish that in one try, Jaehyun.”

“I lived in Paris too, ma chérie. You out of all people would understand and have the experience.”

His palms massaged your freed breasts, throwing your head back even more to his pillows as his lips ravaged down from your stomach until the fabric of your not-so pure panties.

“Call me that again, please.”

“Ma chérie, seras-tu mienne?” (My darling, will you be mine?) He kissed and licked the tiny ribbon in front repeatedly, where your now-swollen clit laid. It electrified your bones, pulling on to his ruffled hair.

“Tu peux m'avoir.” (You can have me.)

Sex in the form of one-night stands were all you’ve invested; upcoming artists like you weren’t capable to maintain long-term relationships. Les plans à trois even if you’re extra freaky or drunk from the afterparties of your events. All that these occurrences had in common were not seeing those men ever again after sneaking out of their apartments in the morning.

This time, it’s different.

When they said that doing the deed with someone you’re romantically entangled with was more special, they didn’t bluff. You could plan bits of your life, but it can sometimes change aspects of it when you least expect it. Sometimes for the best or the worst, but right now, it went beyond your expectations.

It’s rewarding that the man you’ve slowly fallen for within your stay returned your affections.

Around late 3 am that night, your brain jolted with artistic ideas that awoken your sonorous rest. There are no hopes of sleeping them off because they tend to bother you for hours until you do something about it. But you’re already so cozy having Jaehyun’s arms around you, skin to skin under the duvet. His lips daunted right above your forehead, recalling his endless kisses there that helped you fall asleep.

Well, these ideas don’t work themselves unless you do. Untangling him tactfully, you stepped out of the blanket and wore one of his long white shirts he gave you earlier before pulling out your sketchpad and palette of oil paints.

Luckily, there was still one available candle to use as the rest have melted indefinitely. You slid the matchstick again to the sand surface, boring a flame from the friction which you placed on top of the wick.

All your ideas that night leaned towards one thing, or person rather: Jaehyun.

You spent a few minutes retracing how he vividly looked at the picnic, leaning back from the chair of his work desk. His outfit of a turquoise turtleneck underneath a white button-top with trousers matching the said turtleneck looked good together, how his ears tingled red after you complimented his newfound inspiration for his book, and the prominent veins in his arms when he rolled his sleeves due to the heat.

The thin brush you held defined the shape of his face, then paying attention to the messy strands of his hair. Stroking in a circular way to outline his eyelids, a hoarse grunt disturbed the peaceful silence.

“Get back in bed, ma chérie.” His eyes drowsily opened, lying on his side. The moment he no longer felt your warmth, he worried something happened. Instead, you’re working late at night after quite a rough yet romantic night.

“Shush,” You shunned him down with your index finger. “Give me a few more minutes.”

“Perhaps, are you painting me?” He hunched from the covers. “Your eyes looking back and forth would never lie to me, would they?”

“Maybe…” You teased, batting your eyes at him without any risky intentions. Or not?

He deeply chuckled, sluggishly removing himself under the covers. In his pure nudity, he advanced himself towards you. You shrieked, covering yourself with your free hand.

“Jaehyun, stay back! I told you I’ll be there soon!”

Not listening, he carried your bridal style, making you drop your precious palette to the fur rug. Laying you carefully, he popped each button open. By the sight of his cock hardening again, you knew you were in for another round with him.

“Wet again, ma chérie? Oh, this will be fun.”

Fin de juillet 1957

So this kind of summer romance concept that everyone fantasized about… it became your present.

Together you’d stroll in the smaller streets and immerse yourselves in the unique culture of the village. Whenever anyone saw you together, holding hands, biking, or what-not, they’d praise in the name of love for bringing you both together. A romance like yours in the countryside was a lively sight.

Remember how extensions were a possibility if your search for inspiration wasn’t found? Well, it’s not a question that you’d make one, except inspiration found you instead. And he had one arm around you as he slow danced with you in the open grounds of the village, listening to the live band covering song classics.

In particular, Chet Baker. He was Jaehyun’s favorite artist at the moment.

There was an ongoing week-long festival dedicated to summer, giving more plants their bloom and spreading gratitude to the hardworking people. Especially the students, off on their break.

The faint radiance from the post lights as Jaehyun swayed you around, making you laugh as he tried to mumble the lyrics of the song. All those glasses of wine he tried earlier with you from the bartender offering it for free had its effects, and you weren’t off the hook from them either.

Blisters started to form from your ankles, adjusting to the new pair of heels Jaehyun gave (or insisted to buy) you a while ago after staring at them like lasers. You’ve always provided things for yourself that being spoiled by someone else felt weird to you.

“If there’s anything you want me to buy for you, just tell me.”

“How can I buy you if you’re already mine?”

His smooth talk often made you punch his shoulder, but it’s just a mechanism to hide the exhilaration.

Under each other’s spells in your dance, you laid your head on Jaehyun’s chest. Feeling the strong beat of his heart, you were reminded of how much life he’s filled with. And you became a part of it, in the same way he crossed yours.

Jaehyun’s lips sank to the top of your head, pecking it affectionately. The first-ever summer where he wasn’t stuck at his desk working or drinking his life away with his rich friends in their Parisian homes, it couldn’t get better than this.

“Oiii! Flirtez ailleurs!” (Oiii! Flirt somewhere else!) The distinct voice of Jaemin, handing out pastries to passersby, shouted at the both of you, making you flip your middle finger at him.

“Trouve une copine d’abord, d’accord?!” (Find a girlfriend first, alright?!) You shouted back jokingly, almost falling due to the ache of your feet. Your immodest behavior was censored by Jaehyun’s large palms, not wanting the kids around to see it. Whispering closely to your ear,

“Tu es ivre. Laisse-moi te ramener chez toi.” (You’re drunk. Let me take you home.)

You changed back into your sandals as Jaehyun led you through the different alleys. Your vision was too hazy to navigate, so he had one arm wrapped around your shoulders. The weather grew cold too, shivering your bones so he draped you in his blazer.

“Wait,” You stopped, making him do the same. But before he could ask for your reason, your hands yanked him by his suspenders and your legs walked backward to reach the brick wall. Standing in his 5’11 glory, you were overpowered.

Yet your lips captured his effortlessly, raising to your toes to press yourself closer to him. He moved fast, one arm hugging your waist while the other hoisted your leg up. Tangling around his waist, the urge to move your hips against his crotch couldn’t be contained any longer.

Everyone was probably still out at this time or sleeping. The sloppy sounds you’ve produced were beyond suitable for any audience. Not to mention, the nasty words Jaehyun’s pretty mouth spoke in your ears desired you to fall to your knees.

“Not afraid of getting caught, ma chérie? You want me to ruin you right here, right now?”

“God, Jaehyun,” Your hands tugged his belt forward, the friction it gave to your core twitched the naughty side out of you. “Do it, please.”

The idea of public sex thrilled your mind into overdrive, yet you’ve never done it. In Paris, a city where several people started to know your name, you didn’t need a scandal to be plastered in your resume yet.

Jaehyun himself included, and still opted not to give it to you.

“Another time, ma chérie. Your apartment, now.”

The moment you unlocked your apartment door, Jaehyun was far from gentle like in the mansion. Ripping you out of your frilly dress didn’t take long, so was unbuttoning his trousers down to the floor.

On your knees, his hand gave you a makeshift ponytail as your tongue flicked the slit of his cock. Then slowly taking him inch by inch on your mouth, you’d let out a loud pop when you needed to breathe. Your hands fondling his balls, he groaned from the edge of your bed and tightened his hold on you. Tears formulated in your eyes as you got to swallow him whole, uncontrollably bobbing your head.

He felt like putty when he released, your throat taking the salty base. You hastily unhooked your bra in front of him when suddenly, his hand flicked on the fabric of your panties, cueing you to stop your motion.

“Keep them on when you ride me.”

Straddling on his lap, his head laid against the headboard of his bed. His arms roaming around your back to stabilize you, your fingers pushed your panties to the side as you pushed yourself down his protected length. Your moans became shaky. Up and down, you bounced while bracing on his shoulders.

Against his ear, your moans were harmonious. His hips moved against your beat, hitting your g-spot like the sexual ace he is. His thumb rubbing your clit, you shuttered your eyes at the impending high approaching you like a bus.

“I’m close.” You choked out, the overstimulation overwhelming your nerves.

“Fuck, me too.” He grunted, slapping your butt that made you shriek.

Soon enough, everything hit you both all at once. The knot snapped, and so did your body falling on his chest after a single scream. Panting, Jaehyun pecked on your temple as his cock softened up. Once you returned to your senses, you lifted yourself from his length, laying bare beside him.

His eyes started to fall, but before they did, he muttered huskily. “Je t’aime, (Y/N).”

It was the first time he’s said those words in the way they meant, and he’s more than certain that it’s what he felt with you. Sure, it started as mutual infatuation, but now, it can’t leave. Not on his watch.

Love was a concept unfamiliar to you, but Jaehyun slowly taught you what it was and how it felt like. Books and films may give sneak peeks, but to personally give and receive it back was made possible by him.

From this moment on, you could conclude that yes, you reciprocated it.

“Je t’aime aussi, Jaehyun.”

16 octobre 1957

Autumn made its way to the countryside.

The leaves switched into red-brown shades, the weather in the south was warmer, and the wine harvest was highly anticipated. Jaehyun’s camera was a common item in your outings, taking as many photos as he could so the two of you had something to look back on.

Planned and candid, his range was wide. These were moments that proved that your youth was as happy as you wished it to be. You wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

Painting in his mansion was a regular thing, having new canvases prepared at his patio. There were so many items that amused you there like you could base your entire collection on his home. It’s not like Jaehyun could argue; it meant more time with you whenever you came over.

“Jaehyun, if you smudge paint on me, so help me Go-” He refused to listen to your “threats”, smearing black paint on your cheek.

“You were saying?” He cockily pestered, showcasing his paint-filled fingers. You dipped one of your brushes into the new paint and chased after him without hesitation. The entire evening became a paint war, a laugh fit even after seeing your reflections in the mirror. But before you could clean yourself, Jaehyun’s camera was by your face and he pressed the button.

“Still breathtaking.”

But the middle of the season arrived, that’s where your planned extension you’ve reached its end. The exhibit was next month, getting calls from your boss regarding your return and the paintings you’ll present. You informed her that you already had them mailed to your studio way back, so there’s nothing much to worry about.

All your bags were packed in the private car Jaehyun rented. Here, you’re bidding your goodbyes to every friend you’ve made outside the doors of your apartment complex, saving your last words with Jaehyun.

The night before, he stayed over and helped you pack your last items in luggage bags. He even brought extra clothes for you so you wouldn’t work extra. You’ve talked it out the whole evening through what happens next to ease your worries. In your bed, he opened the wide windows and pulled you under the sheets.

“Write to me.”

“Call me when you’re free, or whenever you feel like it.”

Leaning against the railing of the stairs, watched the sorrow in your face over this parting. He sensed how bittersweet everything was, but he wouldn’t change anything about it. He’s positive that your story won’t end here, not right now.

Sauntering to him, you sighed whilst taking your bag he held the whole time from him. His touch was tighter as the two of you hugged tenderly, nuzzling his head on your shoulder. The scent of his citrus cologne that implanted in your brain felt comforting, despite the uncertainty of everything between you.

You hinted a minty taste from the menthol candies from his home as his lips brushed yours, colliding it timely. He waited when everyone left, relishing these last seconds.

Stepping inside the vehicle, you waved your summer love farewell one more time before the driver hit the pedal. Your eyes couldn’t stray away from looking back, the distance between him and your former apartment widening. Only when he was no longer in the frame, you shifted your focus back in front.

Your fingers fiddled with the charm bracelet he gifted you from the market. It was custom-made by a jeweler who was great friends with his mother in his younger years. There were two pendants chained on it: a paintbrush and the sun.

“A paintbrush to remind you of your passion, and the sun to remind you of the summer we first met.”

The man was like one of his romance books, in human form. He knew how to catch your breath effortlessly.

Your stay, for now, may have concluded, but there was always next summer. And the ones after that. The village felt like a second home, one you can’t neglect like the other places you’ve lived. Then having Jaehyun here, the more reasons to return.

Undoubtedly the best vacation you’ve ever been in your adult years, one that didn’t sacrifice for your art so you could compete with other artists. The weight on your chest poofed into thin air, and you felt ready for what the next steps as a painter were.

Appreciating the greenery you passed by, you peeked over the side mirror of the car only to find Jaehyun quickly biking in your direction.

Now, what was he up to?

You instantly requested the driver to slow down his pace, rolling down the window of the car. Not caring about the strong winds, “You fool, what are you doing?!”

Although he trusted your last words, he had the greed to see your face again. It would be a long time until he’ll see you in person again. So he pedaled as fast he could to still reach you. Oh, the things you do when you’re in love.

“Mon cœur bat la chamade pour toi, (Y/N)!” [My heart beats loudly for you, (Y/N)!]

You giggled at his silliness, throwing out flying kisses.

“Je reviendrai bientôt, Jaehyun!” (I’ll come back soon, Jaehyun!)

21 octobre 1957

Only your friends at the studio gave you a warm welcome back, receiving comments like “get back to work” from your first encounter with your boss. Popping a champagne glass open after work hours on the rooftop of your studio, they interrogated you with all the questions they could think of.

“So this village in Provence…. was it beautiful as the tourists said?” Ten, who moved from his home in Thailand to Paris at a young age, expressed his curiosity whilst leaning against the railing overlooking the Eiffel Tower.

“Beautiful is an understatement, Ten. I miss it dearly!” You heaved a sigh, twirling your glass.

“So this inspiration you were looking for…” Amélie, your dear friend since your university days, created some tension as she prolonged her last word. Playfulness twinkled in her eyes, crossing her legs. “Was a person involved by any chance?”

For a moment, your throat almost gagged on the sizzling alcohol going down.

“What do you mean?” You acted clueless, pouring your now empty glass with more booze. But the moment Ten gave you the troublesome look coordinating with Amélie, you already knew you wouldn’t hear the end of it. These two were such gossips in and out of the studio.

Ten took the seat across you on the table and leaked all his pent-up information.

“So you know Seo Youngho, the only son of the Seo family. Rich, socialite, a total hotshot… yeah, all that jazz.” He dived in, seeing you nod over knowing that man. Someone in the past you’ve slept with, but that’s another story. “Well, Amelie and I attended one of his parties at his large penthouse. He had his usual crowd there; Kim Doyoung, Lee Taeyong, Nakamoto Yuta, and Lee Minhyung. But fun fact: there’s another member in that friend group who doesn’t go to these kinds of events.”

“Here’s where it gets interesting,” Amélie excitedly took off like the pipelette (chatterbox) she is. “Youngho, who was talking to us for a bit, asked where you’ve run off. Poor him, he must’ve missed you in his bed but anyway! We told him that you went down south somewhere in Provence for a break. Oddly enough, he mentioned how the mentioned member moved back there for the same reason.”

Ten and Amélie gave each other another frisky look, merely to piss you off. So predictable of them.

“Get to the point please!” You screeched.

“Jeong Jaehyun, ever heard of him?” Amélie imitated your tone of voice. “I mean, you should since you made a whole painting of him.”

“H-How,” Speechless, that’s what you were. Ten went on a fit of giggles, signaling the build-up of his intoxication.

“Youngho visited the studio to find a specific painting for his home, and we helped him in choosing. Then when your deliveries of paintings arrived that day and were unwrapped, the look on his face when he saw Jaehyun’s painting was priceless. Things started to add up, especially when he told us that he called up Jaehyun prior, he said that Jaehyun was seeing a girl during his stay there.”

“A young, burnt-out painter from Paris, to be specific.”

They’ve put you on the edge of the cliff, and it was too close to call it a coincidence. Of all things to be revealed, this had to be the first.

“Well, I was waiting for another time to tell you guys about him though.”

Their gasps of joy could give you guys a noise complaint by the neighbors, telling all about your escapades of him and you. During it, the more you missed seeing him daily either on his bike or his car. It was stuck in your routine, but now it’s reverted to your old one.

Could the next summer come any faster?

14 février 1958

Perhaps your newest collection at the Louvre was your most successful one yet.

Entitled “Inspirez, Expirez” (Breathe In, Breathe Out), your sceneries during your stay in the village varied. An old couple slow dancing under the night sky, and the quiet district of shops Jaehyun took you, those were some of your last additions.

A multitude of positive reviews on the newspapers and art magazines came in, commending on taking on a fresher, brighter outlook for a change whilst finding your spark again. As fulfilling it was, what you longed the most was the one responsible for it.

Lately, it’s been tough to contact him. His maids always answered the calls, informing you that he was busy with work or family matters. It’s so rare for him to act like this. Whatever it was, it wasn’t grand or serious hopefully.

Back to your collection, tonight was the last night of it. Just in time for Valentine’s day, where numerous socialite lovers embarked on this event, but you’re more fixated that it was also Jaehyun’s birthday. A boy full of love born on the day dedicated for it, things made more sense. In case, you’ve sent your birthday wishes to him through letter and passing the message to one of his maids. Even on his special day, he hasn’t reached out to you.

But to momentarily forget about that, there was a closing ceremony held for this exhibit with the other artists involved, and it was your turn to give your final remarks. More esteemed socialites and journalists were present, which didn’t halt your nerves the slightest. You were a professional after all, holding pride in your craft as you stood in front of the microphone wearing your new favorite custom-made gown.

There are perks when you have close friends in the fashion industry, specifically Kim “Key” Kibum from the House of Key. After defending him from a disrespectful client when you were picking up a dress for your boss during your internship years, not only did you earn his respect, but an invite to his shows and first claiming of new items from his collections. Dining in expensive restaurants in the metro was a plus, catching up on your lives. Sometimes calling each other out for your sexcapades too.

Speaking of him, he was in the crowd that night, ordering every photographer to take photos of your gorgeous self in one of his dresses. Or in your opinion, bribing some by how he stuffed a few thick stacks of Euro bills down their pockets.

Only one of it ever made. A dark green satin v-neck off-the-shoulder gown, where diamonds adorned your neck and ears and white stilettos kept your perfect balance. Also courtesy of Key.

Because it’s the winter season, he gifted you a limited edition white fur coat every socialite tried getting their hands on. Your hair was styled in a bun, emphasizing your dark tinted lips from this new lipstick Amelie insisted you buy.

Most people would get the first impression that you were one of the socialites, a child from one of the affluent families even. But you were a lot more remarkable than that, having inborn talent in the arts that you specialized over your youth and rising to the top without any parental help.

“Thank you to everyone for their endless support towards the magnificent collections of each artist present. As for mine, I am grateful to rechannel my creative side by taking a break. Rather than romanticizing overworking our bones to the core, there’s nothing wrong with taking a step back from the pressure. Being alive is a blessing, realizing further how our youth won’t stay with us forever. Being away from the boisterous cities, I found relaxation in the countryside of Provence.”

Your lips quirked into a grin as every single memory during that time reeled in your head like a movie. “The beauty of Provence cannot be simply put in words. The muses I’ve encountered were more than lovely, especially the man behind the Poetic Rose. With that, I sincerely thank everyone from my bottom of my heart and I hope to continue to support me in the years to come.”

The applause roared once you stepped down the platform, shaking hands with every esteemed guest with more gratitude as they praised you. These days, socializing with them was a lot easier. You’ve even taken more initiative to greet people first before they do, conversing with them easily about anything.

Key definitely noticed that as you toured him around your section, holding his nth glass of wine for the night.

“You, Madame (Y/N), transformed into a social butterfly.” He nudged your shoulder, smirking once he got a better view of his favorite painting from you. “I guess that’s the thing when you’re in love.”

“I beg your pardon?”

With this free hand, he motioned it up and down at the painting in front of you. “The Poetic Rose is none other than the youngest son of the Jeong family, whom I’ve met through his older sister, Krystal.”

“Am I really the only one who doesn’t know him?!” You stressed, jokingly. Key was elated to capture you in his trap, the changes of your personality too evident in his eyes. Figuring it out that it was love took a while, but being acquainted with Krystal, she’s the one who told him that her younger brother was in love with a painter in Provence. Do the math.

“I’ve met him through his older sister, one of my highly favored clients. He’s not much of a socialite like her, so I don’t really blame you for that.”

Searching for a waiter to refill your wine glasses, a surprise emerged the both of you.

“Madame Krystal, you’re absolutely stunning.”  Key complimented her, giving the engaged heiress of Jeong Tea Inc. kisses on the cheek as respect. Her recent engagement to Kim Donghyun, her childhood sweetheart and also the heir of Kim Couture, was the talk of the town.

They arrived at the event together, drawing the attention of everyone in the room earlier. Now, he was speaking to a few influential socialites he made a deal with this week about the art collections present.

“Key, you never fail to look fantastic,” She remarked positively, poking his necktie before placing her undivided attention on you. “So you must be (Y/N) (Y/L/N). You’re beyond bewildering in that gown.”

“Flattered to hear that, Madame Krystal. Such a pleasure to meet you.”

The three of you chatted as if you were the only people there. From art, passion, and love, pride filled in your chest when you toured your collection. It was like walking down memory lane for her, adding out how she used to climb the peach tree with her younger brother during their childhood. Once her eyes laid on Poetic Rose, she took her time admiring it.

“My younger brother grew up well. That’s all I could ever hope for as his only older sister.” She paused, noticing how silent you became when you stared at the painting along with her. She observed the passion lit in your eyes, yet there was longing behind it by the way your lips pouted briefly. “You must really love him, do you?”

“I do, truly. After meeting him, not only was I boosted with so much ideas, but my heart embraced him for what and who he is in this universe.” You professed confidently, earning an approving smile from Krystal.

“If that’s how you feel, why not tell him that yourself?”

Her fingers gestured you to turn around. Stood in a grey suit with his brown hair slicked back, it was like seeing a completely new person. A handsome one though. His fashion in the countryside heavily differed from his fashion in the cities. So sophisticated and refined, he looked like a prince straight out of a fairytale.

Your fairytale.

“Jaehyun.”

It’s like everything stopped once he sprinted towards you, pulling you off your feet for a snug hug. Your arms threw themselves on his neck by instinct, not wasting a single second in his grasp. Your nose inhaled the woody scent of his cologne, something more formal than his usual fruity scent.

The smell of aftershave in his jaw couldn’t go ignored either, assuming that he must have had plans to go out tonight. Nonetheless, you squealed as if you were back in Provence, giggling at his boldness. Once he put you down, neither of you could get your hands off each other.

“What are you doing here? You didn’t tell me you’d be in Paris!” Clutching your waist, you gazed at him with doe-like eyes, instilling confusion.

“J’ai voulu te surprendre, my chérie.” (I wanted to surprise you, my darling.)

He chuckled, pushing some straying strands of your hair behind your ear. His eyes evoked so much endearment towards this elegant look you prepared, making his heart race as if he were in the gardens of his manor again.

Hearing his petname for you again attacked your heart every time no matter how much time passed, he lifted your chin high. Jaehyun urged himself to kiss you senseless right there, leaning lower. And yes, you anticipated it by how your eyes instantly closed.

Only if it weren’t for Krystal to clear her throat, obviously ruining the mood. Flinching away from your sensual lover, you rubbed the nape of your neck. Towards an heiress like her, it must’ve been unprofessional.

“Couldn’t you at least wait until I left, younger brother?” Her fingers flicked Jaehyun’s forehead, a teasing trick they used to do as kids. Even if she was a lot shorter now, it didn’t mean the impact was weak. He cursed under his breath, covering his forehead.

Stifling your laughter was a failure, crinkling your eyes to unleash your emotions. So this is what their sibling dynamic was like?

“Now excuse me, older sister. You didn’t tell me you were visiting the exhibit after my birthday dinner with our parents?” He crossed his arms, exchanging a judgmental look. For his sake, he wanted to maintain his pride. “All you said after dinner was that you were going straight home with your fiancé after all the alcohol mother gave you because it made you lightheaded.”

“Well, you know Key and his persuasiveness. He insisted I attend this event last minute because all the collections were amazing.” She explained, shedding a subtle glance at you. “Plus, it’s an excuse to finally meet this lovely girl you raved so much through your letters.”

Jaehyun kept his family life private, so this piece of information was new to you. The unpredicted way the fluttering feeling drew in your stomach, all you could do was smile from the flattery.

“He spoke about me to you?”

“More than speak, my dear. He practically professed his love for you, asking me advice on how to court a girl, make them smile, etcetera. You’re the first girl he’s been this affectionate with, and I completely understand now.” She patted your shoulder, hopeful. She had such a strong older sister vibe, reminding you of your older siblings back home. “You’re a clever, talented woman. I look forward to seeing you more often.”

As you nodded in approval, she turned towards her brother with her recurring teasing look. “Yah, Jaehyun. You better take care of her. If she ever sheds a tear because of you, I’m hunting you down in the gardens.”

“Harsh of you, Krystal.” He planted his hand on his chest, feigning pain. “But no worries. Having you and mother around me kept me well-mannered towards women growing up.”

Playfulness aside, Krystal felt honored towards her younger brother. Men these days maintained their sexist beliefs and rudeness, especially those who doubted her high position in the family business once her father stepped down. Nowadays, it’s men like Jaehyun who could really challenge the patriarchy and make women pursue a lot more than being limited as a housewife.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Now please excuse me, I’ll be on my way.”

Krystal waltzed her way out without tripping from her slight intoxication, which Jaehyun worried about earlier. But anyway, that left him alone with you. Filled with so many questions, you didn’t know where to start.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to Paris? Why didn’t you acknowledge my birthday wishes to you? Why aren’t you answering my calls and letters?” You blurted without wasting a breath, weren’t trying to come off as needy, but it became peculiar when he was contacting you like usual.

You pushed off thinking of the worst scenarios, not wanting it to ruin your drive and your emotions either. Yet you trusted Jaehyun enough to know he wasn’t the type of person either.

“Okay slow down, ma chérie.” His hands maneuvered for you to stop for a bit. “Ask me one by one and I’ll give you a solid answer for each while we roam around.”

He arrived in Paris last week, which was initially for work. Then his birthday clashing was a coincidence. It would be too lonely to go home and celebrate his special day alone, so he extended. But again, it’s his work that caused his abrupt contact.

When you were too busy delving into the success of recovering your inspiration, he also found his spur to write again too. Day and night, his mind kept him tedious with an endless trail of thoughts and words. Overall, he finalized it then brought the end product to the same publishing house where his books in the past went through.

In fact, he decided to publish them specifically today on his birthday. The only day in his itinerary he planned, where after publishing, he’d hang out with his friends, have dinner with his family then run off to reunite with you.

“I didn’t intend to make you feel like a second choice, so please forgive me for that, ma chérie.”

“All is forgiven, Jaehyun.” You held both his hands, kissing them tenderly out of habit. “I’m overjoyed that you rekindled your creative side again.”

You were so understanding and empathetic, and Jaehyun aimed to act that way too. He learned so much from you as his friend before being his lover. Quickly enough, you’re both back to his portrait in the center. Like a critic, he narrowed his eyes and scrunched his nose. Tapping his chin with his finger,

“This man in Poetic Rose, he’s quite dashing.” He commented with conceit, walking closer to it to view it better. “His freckles are on point, his dimples and dazzling eyes too. Why exactly is he described as a Poetic Rose?”

“Well sir,” You stood beside him, imitating his actions. “This man here always spoke so eloquently, like he had a very poetic approach on life. He reminded me also of a rose by his rosy tinted cheeks and his beauty. He was alluring inside and out.”

“Is he your favorite muse?”

“I never quoted him as a muse because he’s more than that. Muses can be replaced once they no longer serve purpose towards the artist. Though with him, he’s the never-ending flame that I want to keep for the rest of time."

You held on to his hand, interlocking your fingers with his. The apparent reddening of his ears proved that he was flustered, yet you spoke no lies.

“Joyeux anniversaire, ma flamme.” (Happy birthday, my flame.)

“Merci beaucoup, ma chérie.” (Thank you, my darling.)

Something about his new release piqued your attention so you brought it up again.

“So tell me about your new book.”

“Let me show you instead.” Inside the blazer, there was an inner pocket that sealed a small hardbound book. Taking it out, he handed it over to you. “This is your copy.”

The cover of the book had an illustration of two young adults running down the fields under the bright sun, with the title written in cursive and placed in the center.

“L’Été de 1957.” (The Summer of 1957.)

Like a child who received a new gift in the mail, you flipped the book open. Seeing the table of contents and credits to other important people involved in the process, there was a detailed dedication right before the starting chapter. It’s an unexpected page, noticing that he never put anything like this in his last works.

“Pour ma chérie, qui a peint les couleurs manquantes de ma vie.” (For my darling, who painted the missing colors of my life.)

Although Jaehyun planned to write about the couples he met in the countryside, he chose to change his perspective. Instead, he based this new book on your summer romance, installing more original characters who made your romance blossom more.

“I was once so engaged in listening to people’s love stories, hung up on what they felt.” He expounded, pacing around the floor whilst you skimmed through the pages. There were black and white photos from your adventures too to wrap the reader further in the story.

“While I was struggling to find the next story, I realized late that my story with you was a perfect choice. When I fell in love with you, it’s like I didn’t have to fret anymore about anything. Everything slowly yet surely aligned into place for me. Like how we found inspiration in each other.”

A poetic speaker meant having a poetic, wise mind. You kept an open mind whenever Jaehyun shared his thoughts on life with you, an intimate time that didn’t require using your bodies. Whether you were stargazing or drinking wine by his patio, his soulful personality never changed.

“So I recapped every single memory we had and compiled them,” He resumed, taking a closer step towards yours. His warm hands grasped your waist again, catching a glimpse of your astonished face. Mostly, towards your lips that he missed feeling against his.

“This book expressed my own take on love this time, the one I want to grow in.”

You’d care less if you dropped the book and your coat right there, your major desire to kiss him again was driving your senses to the edge of a cliff. Nothing could’ve braced yourself the second you fervently collided your lips with his. It didn’t feel like you were in this exhibit, but somewhere back in his mansion engulfed in each other’s presence.

Your legs almost melted by your daring move, if it weren’t for Jaehyun’s arm moving upwards to your back to stabilize you more. Your body tingled with goosebumps due to his relaxing fingers all over your body. His tongue caved in your lips, and you couldn’t ban its access.

Such an explicit sight, it felt forbidden as you were inches away from the public crowd. Yet it was the least of your worries if they made a big fuss over it. Jaehyun was here again with you, and that was more valuable to you. He savored every trace of your touches, taking his delicate time with you. No past birthday could defeat this, especially when it’s the first one to celebrate with you. The first of many.

As much you wanted to keep this up for hours, your lungs started feeling constricted of air so your lips timidly let go. Though your hands couldn’t, your overwhelmed eyes couldn’t shift away from the heart-stopping view of your lover. Wherein even after such a fearless session, his eyes fused with love and need with his plumper lips.

“Everything about Provence, especially you, that’s the life I want.” You confessed this concealed secret that’s revolved your head for a while now. Yet its certainty was true.

“Are you sure, ma chérie? What about work?” As an artist, he believed you should stay where everything is accessible. Yet as his woman, he wanted you to follow your heart. Jaehyun didn’t want you to choose or struggle.

“I’ve grown out from the idea that the city life was the only life meant of an artist like me.” You replied, confident enough to discuss it after deep thought. “Cities like Paris hold exciting, vigorous flames that will have you clinging on to them. But then, they’ll eventually die the longer you stay. You get burned in the process too. However, I stand by what I said earlier. I found an endless flame when I met and began loving you, Jaehyun. It doesn’t sting at all; it illuminates strongly every living day.”

Urging him to lower his stance with your fingers, you stated one last phrase. “Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be.”

“If that’s the case,” Jaehyun acknowledged, sticking his arm out for you. “Let’s get out of here.”

Astounded expressions crowded the socialites in the event as they watched the both of you exit together. If the news of Krystal and Donghyun weren’t crazy enough, some journalists figured the mysterious man behind The Poetic Rose and spread it like wildfire.

How was the youngest son of the Jeong family turned renowned romance novel author connected to the impressive, up-and-coming painter from London?

What really went down in Provence?

“How can you miss out on the signs? Did you not see them share a kiss earlier?” Key protested to those who weren’t approving whatever relationship you guys had. He loved his tea but hated those who simply were money hungry. Wanting a chance to be a part of the rich family, only to fish them out of their riches sooner or later.

Meanwhile, the winter season didn’t stop any of you from roaming the streets of Paris. Moments like these were a preview of the future you’ve envisioned with Jaehyun. Youthful, free, and fiery, a love between two artists created more magic not just in their crafts but to those around them.

Promenading a street overlooking the Seine River, Jaehyun took out a smaller instant camera from his pocket and took a candid shot of you. Stunned, you slapped his chest with your bag.

“Hey! Just how many more things are hidden in your blazer?”

“Just my wallet and a few condoms. Why’d you ask?” He raised a suggestive brow, feigning good intentions.

You hummed, faking your deep thought mindset. “At this rate, I don’t think we’ll make it back to my apartment alive.”

Jaehyun tugged you by your coat, his lips hovering your ear to whisper. “If we call a cab right now, I can finger you in the backseat.”

You chuckled at his vulgar idea, but it seemed ideal. You loved the thrill of getting caught or having someone overhearing you two, just like him. Besides, his fingers don’t match up to yours when you touch yourself alone in your apartment. You bat your eyelashes, giving in.

“Deal.”

6 ans plus tard (1964)

Summer returned, the sun strongly smiling down to the plentiful flowers at your family garden. By the patio of your home, your canvas was already laid by the easel stand. Shades of yellow were applied first to symbolize the brightness of the day, following the outline of your desired scenery for this piece.

Dipping the brush in water to change colors, you took another glance at the breezy sky. Light blue with clouds resembling soft pillows, you inhaled gently as your brush faintly stroked the canvas again.

Your hair was tied in a bun, meaning that you’re in for a busy session. But a more soothing one as the jazz music flowed from the vinyl player inside. Stress was the last thing you needed right now.

“What’s madame artiste up to right now?” Your husband piped in from behind, placing down a tray of tea and crackers. With some top buttons of his white top left unattended, you glimpsed on his toned chest when he leaned down. But you mustn’t pry whilst working, even when temptation was calling your name repeatedly.

“The summer sunshine healed me of my discomfort, so I think it’s about time I painted again.” You chewed on the snack, looking back and forth to the view. As enchanting as all the flowers you and him planted over the years grew, you’re more amused by a little boy strolling around it with his magnifying glass and tiny wooden basket with his furry puppy by his side.

His tiny legs often troubled the two of you because he enjoyed spending time with nature. Only God knows what he found in the garden this time.

“Adrien est explorer encore. Devrais-je lui dire qu’il change de place, ma chérie?” (Adrien is exploring again. Should I tell him to change places, my darling?) Jaehyun cautiously asked, not wanting his 3 year old son to impair your perspective.

“Non,” (No,) You held on to his hand, kissing it sweetly. Although you peeved any unnecessary details found in your scenery in the past, Adrien was an exception. As his mother, it’s hard to say no to him unless necessary.

“Il est un garçon curieux, alors il devrait explorer et flâner où il veut.” (He’s a curious boy, so he should explore and wander wherever he wants.)

Life ever since you returned to the countryside shifted into something more precious than you imagined. From moving places constantly, you found a home to settle in for good. A home with overflowing love and inspiration. A home within Jeong Jaehyun.

Recently, you halted your work-related activities in Paris and came home because you were heavily homesick. It even affected your health as a whole. So you made adjustments with your schedules, postponing appearances to events to next year.

On the plus side, you could be more active as a mother to Adrien. It felt like you burdened Jaehyun to take care of Adrien most of the time because he mainly worked from home, wherein important people who wanted to meet him would have to fly out to the countryside.

Back and forth to Paris, your presence towards Adrien often lacked. Here came your biggest fear, which was Adrien forgetting you. But Jaehyun told you over and over again that it wasn’t the case. As he listened to every wrenching thought you had, but he’d combat it with heartfelt words of reassurance so you wouldn’t overanalyze things.

He vowed to love and take care of you when times get hard, and he will continue doing so.

Remember when you said how his mansion felt too big?

It no longer did after getting married.

It gave more room to grow and breathe more life into it. When Adrien was born, he was the prime reflection of your and Jaehyun’s love. He mirrored his father’s physical traits but with a daring personality like yours. A perfect mixture, the world worked amazingly to bring a boy like him into your life.

“Maman! Papa!” Adrien bolted to where you and Jaehyun stood. From the clothes he wore, it’s very much clear that his father was in charge of it whilst you slept in the entire morning. Suspenders, capri shorts, a white shirt, and a red beret, he deserved his title as Jaehyun’s mini-me.

Jaehyun swelled with pride and love for his only son, peeking over what he brought to show and tell you both. “Oh Adrien, what do you have for us today?”

In his basket, there were 3 sunflowers stuck out from the edge. It’s been a while since you’ve seen some in full bloom, lowering your stance to get a more vivid view. He took them out to hand them to you and your husband.

One flower for Jaehyun and two for you. You let out a gasp, scrunching your brows to the center. He always gave one of each item to you and Jaehyun, never more or less.

“Ooh, deux fleurs pour Maman. Pourquoi, Rien?” (Ooh, two flowers for Mama. Why, Rien?) Jaehyun let his nickname out for his lips while you grasped his small hand.

“Well, I heard from Olivier next door that on his birthday, he gave extra flowers to his mother so he could have another sibling. And it worked!” He spoke so innocently, yet it hitched a choke from Jaehyun’s chest. Your eyes widened from disbelief. The information he collected due to his curiosity, no boundaries truly.

“Le mois prochain, c’est mon anniversaire. Je me demandais si je peux avoir un frère ou sœur comme Olivier? Tu es toujours occupée, comme Papa. Je ne veux plus être seul, alors je veux une amie aussi.” (It’s my birthday next month, and I was wondering if I can have a sibling like Olivier? You are always busy, like Papa. I don’t want to be alone anymore, so I want a friend too.)

You exchanged looks with Jaehyun, not knowing how exactly to respond. Although you and Jaehyun did agree that you wanted more than one child when you were younger, neither of you brought it up again since your careers were always loaded with plans.

Adrien was a surprise child actually, conceived on the night where you and Jaehyun celebrated after L’Été de 1957 was announced to be the best-selling romance novel of the decade in the country.

In Paris at his family home, where his parents brought out all their prized liquor, the two of you drank the entire night away to the point Krystal and Donghyun had to push you away from each other from your public affections because their children were present.

But it didn’t stop you two once you reached his bedroom, far away from everything and everyone. And you’ll never change it.

“Oh, Rien,” You eased in, consoling him. “Je suis désolé. Mais c’est franchement une grande demande, n'est-ce pas?” (I am sorry. But that’s quite a big request, right?)

“Mom and I will think about it first, okay? Another kid is a big responsibility, and you’ll be their older brother. That’s another important job, can you do it well?”

“Yes, I can, Papa!” He beamed with glee, his covered head patted by his father after. As you placed the sunflowers beside your palette, Adrien then proceeded to ask you if he could paint with you like old times.

Never you refuse especially with his sparkling round eyes and chubby face that makes you want to squish every time.

As you lifted his light body to sit on your lap, you placed your brush between his stubby fingers and carefully aimed in whatever angle seemed fit so the painting process would run smoothly and perfectly. He let out sounds of amazement when the strokes get bigger, jumping slightly too because the picture became more vivid. You’d smile and coo at him, commending whenever he followed instructions well. As his mother, you only encouraged your child in whatever they want to excel in.

Adrien was the child of two artists, so it was only natural that he had an artistic side in his veins.

Too caught up in your fun, hearing the automatic shutter of the camera from your side was delayed. The source was none other than Jaehyun hiding behind his camera. Jaehyun’s heart soared at the heavenly view of the most important people in his life, wanting to treasure the moment as a lovely memory.

“Hey!” You shouted, placing down the messy brush by the palette. “Je suis très laid!” (I am very ugly!)

“Shh! Tu est rayonnant, ma chérie. Papa est juste, Rien?” (Shh! You are glowing, my darling. Papa is right, Rien?)

Jaehyun politely quizzed the peppy boy, nodding excitedly. His dimples deeply showed up, the main trait he claimed from his father.

“Oui, papa! Maman est toujours belle!” (Yes, papa! Mama is always beautiful!)

He exclaimed, pecking your cheek numerously. You squealed, attacking him with tickles and kisses back. His shouts of delight, then he was suddenly carried by your tall husband in the air like he was flying in the sky. Adrien enjoyed that motion highly, ending up on Jaehyun’s shoulders shortly after to play by the garden again.

“Go paint. I’ll take care of him now.” Jaehyun persuaded, roaming through the long rows of flowers in full bloom. Though seconds after adding some strokes to your piece, you let down your hair, put a hat and sandals on, and ran to the cute duo to join them.

And that’s how your family spent the entire afternoon. By the garden, running around and taking photos and short videos from Jaehyun’s camera. Freezing these valuable memories, this was truly the life you loved so much.

After your break, you could convince the company you worked at that you’d prefer fewer trips to Paris and stay in the countryside longer. How badly you’ve wanted to hold your exhibits here instead. Plus like Jaehyun, let influential people visit you. You’ve already made a big name for yourself now, so that should be valid enough.

Dinner time passed by quickly too, eventually putting Adrien to a smooth slumber as you massaged the roots of his soft hair while Jaehyun sang him a lullaby. This was your joint parenting technique with him since he was a newborn, and it worked quickly as lightning.

You redressed into your silk nightgown after bringing your canvas to the master bedroom, opening the balcony doors to invite the cool breeze in. You tweaked some bits of your painting, including a silhouette of your small family. Regarding where to place it, probably by the living room as it matched the theme.

“What a spectacular day, don’t you think, ma chérie?” Jaehyun conversed, admiring the calm movements of your brush. He noticed a quirky smile grace your lips.

“It’s been a long time since we had quality time like that with Rien. He’s a feisty ball of energy these days.” You replied with a nostalgic daze. “It’s so crazy how one day, he was still crawling to us. Now, he could outrun the both of us.”

“Comme le temps passe vite, hmm?” (How time flies fast, hmm?) Nodding, nothing braced for what your husband had in mind. You almost dropped your brush mid-way. Jaehyun’s lips impatiently devoured your neck, his huge hands fondling your breasts. Violently throwing your head back against his chest, a needy moan parted your lips.

“Jae-” His touches reaching south to where you desired him highly, dampening hastily as your legs naturally spread apart. Rushed exhales, “À quoi tu penses maintenant?” (What are you thinking about right now?)

“Rien se sent seul,” (Rien feels alone,) His hot breath whispered against your ear, his fingers dangerously trailing your thin panties up and down. With your hands tightly clutching on his bicep,

“Alors, donnons-lui une amie.” (We should give him a friend.)

Ever since Adrien mentioned such a daring topic, it hasn’t left Jaehyun’s mind the whole day. After seeing you in utter bliss with your son earlier, he found you so majestic and radiant. It’s a different kind of happiness, especially for parents.

Now you went on hiatus, he thought that it was the right time to have another. He enjoyed his younger years with Krystal, and he wanted Adrien to experience it too. 3 years was quite a wait, and it seemed ideal to try again.

From his nude chest, you flipped around to intensely clash his lips with yours. Draping your arms behind his neck, Jaehyun lifted your entire figure from the chair. His hands gripping on your butt, he delicately lowered you down your bed.

Drowning into his sensual kisses with his hands all over you, this could prolong for hours. Reddening love marks started to resurface whilst your fingers tugged on the drawstring of his pajama pants. Jaehyun’s fingers dove under the fabric of your panties, his index finger rubbing figure 8s the sensitive bundle of nerves.

You struggled to swallow your moans, not wanting Rien to hear it. You wouldn’t want to repeat history, covering it as Jaehyun massaging you after a hard day.

“I know you want one too, ma chérie.” His fingers began to drape down the straps of your gown, presenting your breasts in its full, perky view. But before his lips could suck on your erect nipples, you parted momentarily from him and got up on your feet. Pulling up your straps again, Jaehyun simply laid down but he wasn’t pleased from how you left him hanging.

“Où vas-tu, ma chérie?” (Where are you going, sweetheart?)

He was growing impatient. You were never to interrupt such a sexy atmosphere ever.

From one of your drawers in your vanity table, an important, half-opened envelope was hidden. You were supposed to give it tomorrow but now seemed like a perfect time. Reading it as soon one of the maids handed it to you gave you the jitters, but in a positive way. Sitting back down on the edge of your bed, you exhilaratingly passed it to your husband.

“Qu’est-ce que c’est?” (What is this?)

“Ouvre-le.” (Open it.)

Jaehyun slowly opened the edges and once he took out the contents. Reading it thoroughly, he couldn’t believe it as his jaw dropped, pacing from the letter and you back and forth.

“Vraiment, ma chérie?” (Really, my darling?)

It was from a doctor you visited in Paris a few days before you left, who confirmed just exactly what caused your health to go feeble suddenly. You already had one certain suspicion, which you addressed in your leave of absence letter. Amelié, who finally got the position as the head, couldn’t believe her ears and insisted you take all the time off you needed.

“On dirait que Adrien a reçu son cadeau d'anniversaire en avance.” (It looks like Adrien received his birthday gift early.)

Overall, it turned out the headaches and repeated vomiting you mistook as motion sickness from traveling was a surprise hello to your second child.

A girl specifically, thanks to the blood test she recommended.

“Je t’aime, (Y/N).”

“Montre moi combien tu m’aimes, Jaehyun.” (Show me how much you love me, Jaehyun.)

The whole night through, the two of you vigorously celebrated with the moonlight from the windows and a few scented candles set in the room. Wet kisses left on your collarbone, words of devotion exchanged, holding his hand as he groaned from heartily thrusting in you, the number of moans from your lips overlapped with the vinyl playing in the room. The intimacy between you two increased, almost as if you made love for the first time again all those years ago.

Excluding being drenched from the rain.

Once the two of you grew tired, Jaehyun lied down beside you. Wrapping one arm around, one hand trailed down your naked skin again. His wedding band flashed your eyes, reminding you of the commitment you promised each other. For better, and for worse.

Jaehyun promised to love you endlessly as a woman and his wife, and it didn’t cease when you became the mother of his children. He respected how strong you are, physically and mentally. He helped you in any way he could as you endured the struggling process.

At the end of the day, his family was his biggest priority. More than ever now, you needed him as you go through the pregnancy phases again. Specifically, his index finger lingered on your stomach. There was no bump or other signs of showing, except for that glow he complimented you earlier on.

“We met and fell in love over the summer, got married in summer, had Adrien mid-summer, and now found out about our daughter at the start of summer.” He smiled, blessed at all the good he’s received during this time.

“The summer gods must adore us.” Your vacant hand with your wedding band topped his. To love and to cherish. “Ils m'ont amené à toi.” (They brought me to you.)

His power on you was simply addicting, as if your early twenties revisited you. You straddled himself once again, your fingers caressing his face sweetly. When it reached his lips, he placed longing kisses there and pulled you closer again for another kiss on your lips. In between, you mumbled in a silvery tone,

“Then they led us to say I do. Pour toujours et à jamais.”

copyright © 2021 by alluringjae.

[bondsmagii]

New anon. The most terrifyingly thing about the Chris Chan debacle was how much it it close to home for me. The doc did have a kindness to it that was pretty professional and even I couldn’t finish because what she went through. Like I see something of myself in her if i’d fallen in with the wrong people. I was very easily manipulated when I was younger and not mentally sound at all. I was even and can still be quite disturbed. I have people though. I got better with care and support.

I look at her and am like. I could have been someone like you.

And when I see that damn lack of empathy in people and the support for the people who tortured her and helped make her like that for their own pleasure…they delighted in every horrible thing she did so they could justify making themselves worse. I can understand people like that too because it’s easy to dehumanize people into acceptable targets for cruelty. All of it just makes me sad.

I really appreciate you sharing this. I don't think a lot of people realise how... easy, I suppose, it is to be targeted in this way. Chris has undeniably acted both inappropriately and cruelly in the past, and she may have even committed a horrific crime. this makes it very easy to see her as a one-dimensional villain who deserved it -- because this is what many people think. they think that because she's an undesirable person who may have committed a terrible crime, and who has been confirmed to act badly before, she deserves the cruel treatment she receives. it's easy for these people to write her off, deny her her humanity, and even revel in the torment she's suffered. they do not realise that it could have been literally anyone, and that before all of this started, Chris was just... doing her thing. yeah, she made mistakes, she acted badly, she had trouble expressing her emotions in acceptable ways -- but none of these things happened because she simply wanted to be awful. she was a severely autistic young woman with absolutely zero support systems in place, and the one support system she almost had -- a good school that was working with her in terms of social and educational plans -- was denied to her by her parents. isolated, alone, and completely unable to function normally in society due to her disabilities, Chris was doomed.

the fact is, she was targeted for being "cringe", and she was "cringe" because she was overly enthusiastic about her OC and because she acted in accordance with her severe autism. there are countless thousands of people just like her, and this could have happened (and could still happen) to any one of them. we don't know how we would act. nobody can say for certain what they would do if they were tortured and harrassed and put on some fucked up Truman Show for over a decade. even if we try, we can only come at it from a place of rational thought -- something that Chris did not have, and hadn't had for a long time, and that we can't guarantee that we would have at that late stage. the whole case is profoundly tragic, and it illustrates just how many people have surface-level humanity. they can preach acceptance, mental health support, LGBT support, whatever -- but if they do not extend this support and acknowledgment to absolutely everyone, no matter how badly they act or what they've done, then it means shit. you cannot preach human rights if you refuse to assign them to somebody because they're not a good example. Chris didn't deserve this, and if not for this torture, she would not have done half of what she did. considering that at some points of her life, when she actually managed to seperate herself from the internet for a few months, she made vast social improvements and sincerely worked on herself? she could have made it. instead she had hundreds of people watching her every move, hoping for her to fail, and orchestrating failures if she didn't mess up naturally. absolutely nobody deserves that. the treatment is inhumane and it is torture. the people who did this to her should be in prison, and I will stand by that.

I cannot express how glad I am that your life took a different route. had Chris had access to the same care and support that you did, I doubt she would be in the position she is now. people do not understand how easily things can change and how our lives can divert, even when we're just minding our business. I think in all the voyeuristic gawking and the misplaced sense of justice, people forget that there but for the grace of god go we. all it would take is for one single person to see you do something cringe and slap you on some deranged website, and then what? I doubt any of these people would say that they would deserve it themselves. is it so hard to believe that Chris didn't, either?