#(it is discussed by some people and alluded to in other ways to be clear. this isn't like. novel.)

[essektheylyss]

someday I will actually manage to write out my thoughts and feelings on Caleb's character arc in a manageable format for tumblr and then it's over for you all

[anemicjellyfish]

I'm on a roll thinking about this show. So let's give credit where credit is due: (Apology Tour spoilers ahead.)

Blitzø had HUGE character growth in Apology Tour.

We see in the beginning of the episode, Blitzø is behaving pretty much how Blitzø behaves normally: sexually inappropriate. It's what he's kinda been known for since the start.

We know that, prior to Full Moon, these advances were welcomed by Stolas.

However, this isn't the case now. Stolas makes it very clear that he doesn't want their relationship to be about sex. He goes on to say he doesn't believe Blitzø owes him feelings in return, but that Stolas' own confession shouldn't be ignored.

A LOT is being discussed in this scene; some things are being alluded to/danced around, while other things are directly spoken about.

But one thing is clear: things cannot go back to how they were before.

Blitzø reacts with anger, the emotion to which he is very accustomed, before running off on his Apology Tour.

To cut this post much shorter than my last analysis, we'll skip to the end party!

Blitzø finds Stolas after his (absolute banger) song. Their entire conversation scene is filled with touching, and none of it is sexual. There's no grabbing, just holding.

Blitzø's actual apology to Stolas gets interrupted by Better Than Blitzø guy. While Blitzø is clearly annoyed by this, he sees Stolas wanting to dance with this guy, and waves him off to do so. While Stolas didn't need this permission, it was polite of him to request it.

And it's the first of three major moments that Blitzø shows inner maturity.

The Blitzø from earlier that day would have shoved Better Than guy, or grabbed Stolas and carried him off elsewhere. He would have at least screamed at this guy.

While Stolas and Better Than are off dancing, Blitzø finds Verosika and gets the much needed truth: that his actions hurt people.

Which prompts the response from deep within Blitzø: "I don't wanna be this way. Not forever."

Being able to admit he wanted to change was a massive step for Blitzø.

After one more moment of anger at Better Than guy making out with Stolas, Blitzø follows Verosika's advice. He lets go.

Blitzø leaves the party without another word.

He lets Stolas have his space. He doesn't try to interfere anymore. He's said his part, albeit to a drunk Stolas, and he realizes that he can do no further good by being there.

As much as he's hurting here, Blitzø is growing.

[makethatelevenrings]

Regency AU - Jason Todd

@sio-ina-bottle pls don't look at my discord profile and see how long I played Vivaldi and the Bridgerton OST on repeat when writing this I beg of you.

This is part of the 5k followers celebration. There are still spots open! Get your requests in now!

Warnings: period-typical misogyny, alludes to abusive relationships and cheating, allusions to Jason's PTSD/past (war)

The Wayne Ball was one of the highlights of the season, your mother reminded you. It was a full day event that would require you to be at your best for the entire day. You would need to smile until your jaw ached, dance until your shoes pinched your feet, and talk about meaningless things until your brain felt like it might atrophy. But it was necessary to secure a husband.

Ever since your father’s gambling debt increased and your family coffers decreased, the pressure on you grew. Your mother had expressed her regret of it “being like this” but she didn’t seem to care if you liked the man you were supposed to marry. She shoved you at any willing man of the Ton, even if rumors swirled around his late night visits to a brothel or his heavy-handedness with his late wife.

This was your fate, it seemed.

The small crystalline glass of lemonade that you gripped in your hand seemed to be your lifeline. You were unable to dance if you were parched and so you took your time savoring the taste of its tartness against your tongue. Somewhere in the crowd of people, your mother discussed with the other worried mothers of hopeless girls, most likely lamenting over how pathetic your marriage prospects seemed.

Baron Lawrence Crock eyed you from across the room and you blanched, raising your glass to your lips in an attempt to evade his glance. Your dance card was only half-full and you knew he had expressed interest in you before. Yet the stories of his cruelty made you wary. A disinterested man you could marry, but a cruel one?

You slipped past the crush of bodies that lingered on the edges of the dance floor and made your way towards the door. One glance behind you confirmed your suspicions. He was making his way to you. Your mother wasn’t paying attention and even if she was, she would encourage the match. He has a sizable fortune, she would say. With money like that, you could look away when he came home late from a brothel. Just bear him one or two children and you would be fine.

Your heart thudded painfully against your chest as you escaped through the large ornate doors of the ballroom and into the velvet carpeted hall. Gathering your skirts in your hand, you hurried down the hall in any direction but here. Wayne Manor was huge and you hardly knew how to get to the ballroom. Where on earth were you heading?

“Are you alright, miss?” a gentle voice asked you as you skittered around the corner and came face to face with a hall of doors. You blanched but relaxed at the sight of a kindly old butler. He glanced over your shoulder and then smiled at you, a kind and assuring smile rather than the patronizing ones you were so used to at home.

“There’s no one following you, miss.” You startled at his words and shook your head.

“I was just looking for fresh air,” you lied. He gestured to the other end of the hall and you let out a nervous laugh. The butler didn’t appear to judge you. Rather, he seemed to understand you.

“The stars are beautiful from the balcony,” he said gently. “And I am quite proud of the flowers that line the stone. Wisteria, gardenia, and camellia.”

You brightened and took his proffered arm. “I love gardening. I’m currently growing some lilacs, but my gardener, Mrs. Haywood, tells me that I should expand. She lets me help with the vegetables and I find that fresh tomatoes are so much better than anything purchased in the market, don’t you think?”

He chuckled as the two of you stepped onto the stone balcony. “I find myself inclined to agree, miss.” The butler tilted his head towards the shadows and cleared his throat. “Master Jason, I hope you aren’t out here to avoid the ball I so painstakingly helped put together.”

A huff of laughter came from the shadows and a man followed it. The thin light of the moon coupled with the candles that burned in their sconces on the wall gave you a good look at him. He had to be one of the Wayne boys, you noted, with those teal eyes and dark hair, but you had never seen him before.

“Oh.” Your voice failed you for a moment as you took in the sheer size of him. Many of the men of the Ton boasted about their athletic accomplishments, but this man truly looked as though he engaged in some physical pursuit on the regular. A shock of white hair stood out at the front of his dark, messy locks and you had the sudden urge to run your fingers over it.

“I’m sorry,” you found yourself saying. “I didn’t realize someone else was out here. I can go back to th-”

“That won’t be necessary,” the man, Jason, the butler had called him, replied. “Alfred, would you be able to stay for a few moments to ensure Miss…” You offered him his name and he nodded, repeating it in that rough voice of his. “To ensure her propriety.”

A flush of indignation crept up your neck and you averted your gaze from the gentleman. Stepping closer to the fenced off edge, you craned your head up to study the stars. They truly were beautiful like Alfred said.

“Andromeda,” you breathed to yourself. Her stars glittered brightly in the night sky. The myths of antiquity had always fascinated you and you loved connecting the stars to their mythological counterparts.

“The wife of Perseus,” Lord Jason said. He settled in on the other end of the balcony and leaned against the stone. You turned your face away from his unyielding gaze and kept your focus on the sky.

“Chained to the rock because of her mother’s vanity and cruelty,” you continued. “Intended to be a sacrifice for the monster Cetus.”

“Do you believe her to be helpless?”

You considered his question and then turned to finally look at him. There was no judgment in his gaze. No cruelty or spite or anger. There was only curiosity, something you so rarely saw in the eyes of those you met at these balls.

“Yes, but no. She was helpless in that moment, but I think we all have those moments. Those times when someone else must come to the rescue, if not to save us from an outside force, but maybe from ourselves. The theme runs through a lot of stories. Heracles, Tristan and Isolde, Saint George in Spenser’s work. I think she isn’t helpless, no. I think she’s just human.”

He inhaled sharply against the night air and you were afraid that you had said the wrong thing. This wasn’t a proper topic of discussion for a young woman. Perhaps you should go back inside. Your mother was probably looking for you.

You turned to head back inside when his voice stopped you. “And do you believe that he truly fell in love with her with just one look?”

The moon bathed your face as you faced him and he noted the way it made your eyes shine just a little brighter. He had been in the ballroom when you were pressed in the corner, avoiding everyone’s gaze. No matter how hard he tried, he had been unable to tear his gaze from you. When he saw you escape from the ballroom, he took that as his chance to go outside and take a deep breath, maybe smoke a cigarette.

He never accounted for you.

“Is it foolish for me to say that I do believe he did?”

Jason couldn’t tear his eyes from yours and frankly, he didn’t want to. There was something about you that made him want to find the nearest monster that threatened you and slay it. After he came back from war, his family noted the darkness in his eyes and the sleepless nights. He played pretend at these stupid balls with no intention of forcing someone into a loveless marriage. How could he be a good husband when he couldn’t seem to wipe the blood off his hands?

He looked at them now and saw nothing but scarred skin.

“You like to read?” he asked carefully. You seemed more settled now and you made your way back to the stone railing. When your eyes met the sky once more, he took in the soft slope of your neck and the curve of your jaw. His hands curled into fists in an attempt to stop him from reaching out and touching the small tendril of hair that curled around your ear.

“I enjoy it.” You said it as if you had to balance every word. “Do you?”

“The library here at the manor is brilliant,” came his breathless reply. “Books from all around the world. You could read all day for the rest of your life and never finish them all.”

“That sounds wonderful. My parents find little care for books,” you admitted. “My governess tried her best, but I’m sure I’ve missed out on many stories.”

Let me tell them to you, he wanted to say. Rather, he merely replied with, “I could show it to you. The library, that is.”

Alfred cleared his throat, a tinge of regret in the old man’s face, and he gestured towards the open door. “Your mother will be getting worried now, miss.”

“Right. Yes. Sorry.” Jason didn’t understand why you were apologizing. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t hear the drums of war crashing in a neverending echo against his ears. He didn’t see the blood on his hands. He only saw and heard you. And then you were gone.

Two days later, you sat in the drawing room and slid the needle of your embroidery in and out of the smooth fabric. The elegant knot of yarn bloomed upon the canvas, but you found yourself unable to find joy in the small success.

“A caller for Miss,” one of the footmen announced. You set your stitching down and stood next to your mother, fully anticipating Baron Crock to step through the door and into your life.

But it was someone else entirely. Lord Jason Todd-Wayne made his formal introduction with your mother before stepping off to the side of the drawing room with you, still in full view of your chaperone.

“I brought you this,” he said softly, extending a well-worn book out to you from his seat on the opposite seat. You gingerly took it and opened the cover to find that it was an anthology of mythologies from around the world. A surprised gasp escaped you and you looked up in surprise at the man before you. His teal eyes glinted with mischief and something else. Closing the cover, you set the book next to you and busied yourself with pouring him some tea.

Perhaps this was your future. A handsome man discussing books with you as you poured him tea. There was no anger in his fists or eyes. There was no fear in your heart.

If this was your fate, you reckoned, then so be it.

[lurkingshan]

I've been in multiple tumblr fandoms over the years and the same shit comes up over and over again wrt arguments about how we all engage with our chosen media on here, so here are a few things to keep in mind that have helped me along the way:

Not everyone is going to engage in the same way as you, and that's good, actually. Some people are purely here to gush over the things they like. Some people are here to do deep analytical breakdowns which will include criticism. Some people are cheerleaders. Some people are haters. A lot of people are a mix of both depending on what they're talking about on any given day. It's all good and valid, and it's what gives this space variety, allows us to learn from each other, and keeps it interesting.

The filter, unfollow, and block functions are your friend. If you love a mutual but hate the volume or the way they talk about a certain thing, just add it to your filtered tags (relatedly: tag your shit so people can filter you when needed!). If you consistently don't vibe with the way a person chooses to engage on here, just unfollow them. If you find them actively offensive or detrimental to your mental health, hit that block button, baby. We are all anonymous internet strangers and no one will die.

Someone expressing a different opinion from yours is not a personal attack on you. If someone hates a thing you like, they are not calling you stupid for liking it. If they love a thing you hate, there's nothing wrong with them, they are just taking something different from it than you are. That shit is all about you and your own insecurities, don't try to put it on them.

Vague posting is rude. If you want to directly respond to something someone said to get better clarity about what they meant, reply to their post or shoot them an ask or DM and talk to them about it. If you simply want to express a counterpoint without directly engaging them, just post your own take without vaguely alluding to them and building what is almost certainly a strawman of their original point. People you're vaguing can see you on here, folks. Don't be a dick.

Credit and reblog other people's ideas when you are building on them, and be kind to the creators who provide the artwork that make this place so special and unique. Reblogging is the lifeblood of this website. It's the only way people get to see content that is by anyone they don't follow, and the gifmakers on here in particular put in so much time and effort to give us beautiful images--share their work and tell them you appreciate it! You also don't have to agree with every single word of a meta post to reblog it (why would you expect to, it comes from a different brain than yours), and you absolutely should be crediting people and sharing their words when they sparked something that inspired your own thoughts. This is just being a good community member.

Embrace the difference between meta and fanwanking. Meta writing is analysis of the actual media content as it is presented, with arguments based in the canon text. Fanwanking is doing your own work to fill in gaps or create headcanons to supplement the canon text. Some people prefer content that leaves a lot of gaps because they love to creatively fanwank; some people prefer to be told complete stories without having to do all that extra work to make them make sense. These are both very cool and fun ways to engage, but when you're fanwanking be aware that those ideas are all coming from you, not the actual media being discussed, so others might not vibe with your interpretation.

When posting your own opinions, try to be clear about where you're coming from and why. If you have a personal experience or bias that is affecting your read, own it. If you're looking at a piece of media from a specific angle related to your own interests and learning, say that. It helps other people to know where you're coming from and why you're thinking about something in a certain way that can then help them puzzle out why they feel differently.

You don't owe anyone your presence here, and you don't have to express opinions on everything or respond to tags or asks if you don't have anything to say. Sometimes you might just want to take a break from posting, some things in the discourse might just flow right on by you, sometimes you will not have a firm opinion on a debate. You can post as much or as little as you want. You can suddenly decide you don't want to talk about a show anymore. You can not log into your tumblr for days or weeks at a time. Do you, boo!

Most people come to tumblr because they do want to engage with others, and this place can be a lot of fun if you just take what you need from it and let things that aren't serving you go.

[quirkwizard]

Give us the Enji rant, spell boy.

For the sake of context, this is a rant about how people interpret Enji as a character that I alluded to a while back. I understand that this is one of those hot button topics in the fanbase. All that I ask is that you hear me out.

The big issue about discussing Enji as a character is always going to be this miasma that surrounds him. It's hard to analyze him without his abuse hanging over it. Not in how it reflects or affects himself or others around him, but more in how all discussion begins and ends with it. It's to the point that I have to make it clear that I don't support or condone Endeavor. He's a pretty obviously terrible person, and the manga is very clear about it. However, fandoms have been able to ignore terrible things characters have done for analysis sake or even try to soften or redeem them in their own way. I don't even have to use outside media as an example. Tomura unapologetically killed untold thousands of people and threw an entire county into chaos, and fans were still wanted him to be redeemed. So why not Enji? I could bring up any number of reasons. Anything from how he's presented at the beginning of his series to having his actions affect fandom darlings like Shoto and Dabi to something like familial abuse being a lot more personal to more people. Seriously, it makes me wonder if instead Endeavor had just straight up killed some random villain and if that would be easier to forgive in people's eyes.

However, a lot of that is reductive and isn't getting at the heart of the issue. I think it comes down to fans simplifying or misinterpreting a lot about Enji as a character, especially in relation to his arc. And I'm not saying this in the sense of "these people are wrong and don't understand the story". It's just that miasama suffocates his story, to the point where it paints everything he does and how characters act around him in the eyes of the fans. Like how people just assume the worst about Enji at every point. Things like how he's racist, misogynistic, or has done things so bad that I hesitate to even allude to them. And it's something that distorts what his arc is. I do not think the story is saying to forgive your abusers. Because to me, Enji's story was never about forgiveness but atonement. Enji is trying to do right for his family and change who he is as a person. Whether or not people accept that is up to them. And when forgiveness is brought up, it's never about forgiveness for the sake of forgiveness. That people like Shoto aren't letting go to reconcile with Enji. They're doing it so they can move on with their lives. And I just want to be able to say stuff like that without being called an abuse apologist.

[sohnric]

BELOVED — E. SOHN

pairing: eric sohn x fem! reader

genre: hurt/comfort, friends to lovers. angst, fluff. the tiniest bit of swimmer! eric for some reason. wrote this in a moment of weakness handle with care!! :~)

word count: 2.4k

warnings: reader is said to be red in the face from the cold (alludes to specific skin color - im sorry i wrote this for me only and yall just get to read it), swearing, insecurity and jealousy, unspecified mental illness (?)

a/n: once again thank you to @csenke for beta reading and encouraging me to post this :p and also for existing. ily <3 btw swimmer eric is such a concept it gave us both whiplash maybe i need to revisit this in a full fic....

The coldness of the crisp evening makes you sniffle, your bones freezing and fingers going numb even in the comfort of your coat pockets. Your brain is full of thoughts fighting amongst each other, running around and hitting the corners of your head, slowly causing you an annoying migraine. You now regret not taking your headphones with you, because the music could help you drown out the noise of your inner voice, but the you from an hour ago that decided to go on a walk to clear your head had other plans for you, so you now have to suffer the stream of your thoughts instead. The stream is so loud you swear you can hear it resonating through the silent campus, but you know that’s a foolish thought, so you fight it away with a bitter chuckle.

Eyes zeroing on the orange fluorescent lights coming from inside of the building you’re standing in front of, you start feeling a little silly for coming here. It’s not like you think you’d be sent away, but there’s also that little bugging voice inside of your brain that keeps reminding you that you weren’t invited. Your feet have dragged you here without your consent or order. One moment, you were walking down the river, shuddering from the cold, and the other, you found yourself in front of the pool– as if the tugging of your heart was stronger than your own brain, stronger than your own thoughts.

Sometimes you feel bad for taking it all out on him. At least that’s what you suppose you’re doing– with your annoyed remarks whenever he checks in on you, with your sighs whenever he asks what’s wrong. It’s not like he’s incorrect with his suspicions– he always somehow knows you’re in a bad mood, no matter how hard you try to mask it– you just don’t often feel like discussing the matter with him. Or anyone, really. Sometimes, you feel bad for pushing him away or not texting him back. Sometimes you feel truly shitty for the fact that you can’t open up to him, no matter how hard you try. 

And sometimes, you just truly think that he wouldn’t care. It’s weird how your mind works– someone could spend so much time with you, making memories together and laughing at your jokes, yet, your mind could convince you that they don’t really like you at all in the first place. That this is some sort of a game they’re playing, trying to see how long you can stay convinced that they enjoy your presence in their life before you notice and they step away. You don’t even know where this conviction is coming from. If you knew, maybe you could fix it. If you could locate it, you’d try to delete the flawed code from your system. 

Sometimes, you think he doesn’t care about how you are, what you’re doing, what you think. It has nothing to do with the way he treats you; more so with the anxiety nibbling at the corners of your brain whenever he talks to anyone else– with the constant fear of being replaced, of having him find someone better, someone less difficult to be friends with. In its full essence, the image is terrifying. You think your world would crumble if you lost another person in your life.

More so, you think your world would crumble if you lost him. You recognize that there’s a constant desire in the depths of your heart to be someone’s favorite– his favorite– to be the person someone would choose in a room full of people. To be the one they walk up to first with a smile and their arms wide open. 

And it’s silly. You’re his best friend. He tells you so every day. It’s the way you’re introduced to everyone out of his circle that you meet on parties or at campus.

Admittedly, you like hearing him say it. Best friend– the title shows you’re the best at something: at being his companion, at making him laugh, at being there for him, whatever it is that you do to earn that sticker. The title shows that you’re somebody’s favorite– his favorite– and it makes you deeply satisfied with yourself. It makes you proud, even. 

Some days, you still have a hard time believing it, though. Some days, you still feel stranded. Lonely. Isolated. It’s weird. 

Somehow, your heart, your feet and the unconscious part of your brain took you right where you knew you’d find him. You didn’t choose to go here– if you realized you were nearing the building, you would’ve even tried to stop yourself– and as you contemplate turning on your heel and going back home, hell, you even take the first step away from the pools, the sound of the main door opening and his voice calling for you makes you halt in your movements, gluing you to the pavement. 

Sometimes, the heart knows what it needs even before you get a chance to register it.

“Y/N! How long have you been standing there?” he calls after you, making you bite down on your lower lip. There’s no escaping him now– you guess it’s for the better, though.

Turning towards him, a guilty look spreading over your features, you shrug. “Not long.”

“It’s freezing out here! Why didn’t you come inside?” he asks, a wrinkle forming in between his eyebrows as he walks closer to you, his friends from the swim team patting his back and saying their goodbyes to the two of you as they pass the commotion on their way out.

“I didn’t want to intrude your practice,” you peep, sniffling a little from the cold.

“Gosh, you always do this,” he says, rolling his eyes at you. He almost looks mad at you, and by the way he raises his voice and throws his arms in the air in frustration, you think you’re correct with assuming he might be. “I texted you the whole day! Hell, I called, even though I know how much you hate phone calls. And I get that you probably didn’t feel like talking, but a simple ‘I'm okay, don’t worry’ text would’ve been nice!”

Dragging his hand through his hair in defeat, he shakes his head at you. “Besides, you can’t just keep shutting me off every time you are having a hard time, for god’s sake! Not only do I worry, but I hate seeing you suffer all alone.”

Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you listen patiently to his lecture. You know he’s right– he almost always is, because the rational side of your brain ceases to exist every time your insecurities fail you– so there’s really no aim in trying to argue or fight with him. 

Eric sighs as he steps even closer to you, adjusting the strap of his duffel bag on his shoulder before he reaches for the hood of your jacket and puts it over your head. “You could’ve texted me you were here, I’d leave practice early for you,” he says, voice now softer as he stands in front of you, not really wanting to scream straight into your face. 

You shrug in response, not really knowing what to say. Telling him you contemplated leaving  just seconds before he found you here would make him even more mad with you, so you choose to gloss over that fact. Besides, it’s kind of comforting, the way his words work. The way his presence calms you, makes the screaming match of your thoughts drown out with his firm comments and scolding remarks. His words, although full of frustration, make your insides warm up and your muscles relax, like you’re coming undone.

His face shows concern. His actions speak even louder than his words when he tugs the sides of your hood closer together at your neck, the hole for your head previously exposing your bare skin and making you shiver. “Couldn’t you dress more warmly? Do you want to catch a cold?” he mutters, shaking his head in disbelief. “You scutter here all unannounced, wearing close to nothing, and expect me to not be frustrated with you?”

You study his expression for a while. It’s not often you get to see Eric from so up close, but even in the darkness of the evening, you recognise the familiarity of his close-to-flawless features. Anchoring yourself into his gaze for a second, you move to study the sculpture of his cheekbones, the furrowed nature of his brows, the slope of his cupid’s bone. His hair falls into his eyes, making you instinctively drag your hand up and move his bangs out of the way, having the male wince at the contact of your fingers with his skin. “Hell, your hands are cold! You didn’t even take gloves? It’s minus five degrees outside!” he grunts.

It makes you chuckle. You did something nice for him, yet, there he is– complaining about the fact that you have yet again failed to take care of yourself. “I’m not even surprised, y’know, since you didn’t put on a scarf either, but sometimes I wish this little brain of yours,” he point his finger to the side of your temple, “had better self-preservation instincts,” he finishes as he fishes for something in his pocket.

Taking out his own gloves and holding them up to you so you can slip your numb fingers into the fabric, he continues on with his little tangent. “Next time,” he adds when you’re successfully wearing the warm garment, “text me as soon as you get here, okay? And look outside before you go out, so you know what to wear. Maybe open that little weather app on your home screen, even. Might be helpful,” he jokes, although a little dryly, as he brings out a scarf from his duffel bag, tying it around your neck and almost suffocating you with how tight he wraps it, making sure you’re defrosting under his tender care.

When he’s done dressing you up like a doll, you’re left staring at him speechless. Eric reciprocates the gaze, something gentle, yet worried mirroring behind his dark orbs. There’s comfort lingering in the air now that you’re not so cold, and with the added essence of his existence, the act of living doesn’t seem like such a hassle anymore. You feel lighter, in a way.

“Sorry,” he hums after a heartbeat of silence, “how are you feeling?” he asks, an apologetic look sent your way when he realizes he slipped into a heated lecture again, not knowing that this is exactly what you wanted and unknowingly came here for. (For his furrowed eyebrows and the crease in between them, his worried orbs and words tinted with frustration, showing you that he cares and wants you to be safe. For his little tangent, yet also gentle touches as he takes care of you and makes sure you’re staying warm. For the familiar look in his eyes, whispering to you that you’re the only thing in the whole world that matters to him right in this moment and always, forever.) 

You smile at the clueless boy. It seems to make something in him settle into a more comfortable place. “All better now,” you reply.

“Good,” he says. “God, you look awful,” he jokes– laughing airly to reference the state of your frozen face– cheeks and the tip of your nose red, eyes watery from the wind, hair messily sticking out from the bottom of your hood– as one of his hands comes up to cradle your face and squish your cheeks together, turning your chapped lips into a big pout. The contact of his skin on yours makes your stomach feel light with the contrast of his warm hand on your cold face, all your senses coming alive when his voice drops a few octaves lower, seriousness tinting his tone. “Promise me to take better care of yourself from now on?”

Nodding, not really having it in you to even make a noise, you watch as the male studies your face for a while. In any other circumstance, his gaze would make you shy away, but not now. Not when everything seems suddenly so simple, not when all your worries seem to slip through your fingers. When his eyes point towards your lips– your puckered, dry mouth– a sense of expecting takes over you, a strange kind of excitement buzzing in the tips of your fingertips. When you breathe in through your half-clogged nose, the mixed scent of his fabric softener coming off the scarf tied tightly around your neck and the smell of the shower gel he uses to wash the chlorine off after his swimming practice hits your nose, making you a little light-headed. No words are spoken as the male suddenly leans in and presses a quick peck to your lips.

His warm lips meet with yours in what seems to be a second-long contact, but it’s enough to have the ghost of his touch lingering, enough to make your stomach churn in joy.

The action was so painfully casual– as if it was second nature to him. As if there was no reason for him to contemplate the decision– as if this was what he wanted to do all the time, and so he did it. Sometimes, actions speak louder than words.

Selfishly, though, you must admit you need both– you need the words just as much as the actions. Good thing Eric knows you so well– sometimes you think it’s even more than you know yourself.

“Now come on, let’s get you home,” he hums, hugging you to him with his right arm as you two walk down the sidewalk, “wouldn’t want my beloved girl to freeze to death right here.”

His beloved.

The words resonate in your brain. This time, it’s a good type of screaming match happening with your thoughts– all worries battled, using his sentence to cut out the bad parts like a sharpened knife. This time, your mind is full of fireworks and excited buzzing, sending the happy signals all across your body, helping you fight winter with the power of gentle loving. 

And sure, you know that those feelings might come again. There’s no way of telling when the skeletons will appear, hunting down your happy thoughts. But you know that even if they do, you will always somehow find your way back to Eric, and he’ll make sure to remind you of what you need to hear, and you’ll be okay again.

You guess The Beatles were right after all. Maybe all you need is a little love sometimes.

[carriesthewind]

I watched Jenny Nicholson's new video on disney's failed Star Wars hotel (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0CpOYZZZW4), and there is some absolutely *fascinating* mental processes on display on the galactic starcruiser subreddit.

While many people are responding reasonably, some die-hard fans over there are spouting the absolutely unhinged, reality-denying, victim-blaming talking points she discusses in her video. There are several people who seem really invested in not just disagreeing with her, but insisting that she is not only objectively wrong but a bad-faith hater.

So I picked one of these people at random and scrolled back to try and see what their experience of the hotel was.

[Rambling musing below the cut. Unedited because I'm typing this because I can't get to sleep.]

Unsurprisingly, they insisted it was magical and life-changing and one of the best experiences anyone could have. However, these declarations of how important it felt to them were accompanied by no specifics about what about the experience was actually so great (with one exception, which I'll get to in a minute). Their very first post was about how they couldn't articulate why experience felt special.

I have some theories.

First, as Jenny alludes to in her video, there is a psychological pressure to justify the value in something a person has already invested so much money and time into. At one point, the redditor describes waiting on the phone on hold for two hours just to book an *add-on* for their trip. And as she says, the feeling of judgment from others only adds to this pressure. The redditor outright states that they feel uncomfortable saying they went to the hotel (outside the fan groups) because of how people react.

But I think it's more than that. As Jenny describes in her video (and as the redditor's description of their own experience matches), the experience was exhausting and overstimulating. The redditor describes being overwhelmed and overbooked, but also says they feel like they should have skipped out on sleep because they feel like they missed thing. And then, at the end of the second day - a literal 16 hour day of activities - there is a big finale, starting with an adrenaline-triggering "alarm," where you watch a cool live fight in the midst of a hundred other cheering, excited people. And this is the one positive specific that the redditor describes (multiple times, in fact!). They aren't a big fan of the sequels, but they "gasped when Rey showed up" in the finale. This isn't surprising at all! They were watching a live show while in a suggestible state and experienced an adrenaline rush, and their brain processed this as a magical experience.

This is reinforced by the redditor's descriptions of their nostalgia. They talk frequently about wishing they were in the hotel and wanting to return. But they specifics of what they miss are either vague or signifiers of the emotional experience (e.g. talking about how they miss the smell...because it reminds them of the hotel). And at one point, they mention that they miss the pre-trip anticipation almost as much as they miss the hotel itself.

This is a huge tip off that their interpretation of their experience was completely disconnected from the reality of the hotel. Whatever made the experience feel magical for them (whether or not I'm correct about my suspicions as outlined above), it had very little to do with any disney did or the actual quality of the hotel.

To be clear, I'm not invalidating the redditor's experience - if they say it felt life-changing and they don't regret what they spent, I believe them! I love all sorts of things in ways not reflected by any "objective" quality.

HOWEVER. I can also admit that! If someone criticizes something flawed that I love, it's not a personal attack on me! And my love for it isn't an justification for a) contributing to a narrative to encourage people to massively overpay for it and b) attacking people who didn't care for it and blame them for "doing it wrong"!

Especially - and here's the most interesting part - if I have many of the same criticisms of the thing myself.

Because while the redditor has only one specific about what made the experience great, they actually include lots of specifics about their experience. It's just that those specifics are all flaws. Here are some details of their experience as they actually describe it:

There were not enough character actors for them to actually interact with them meaningfully

The setup of the role play made them feel horrible social anxiety for a large chunk of the first day

They were forced to miss at least one major story event because of poor scheduling by the app/disney

Describing being randomly shown story beats disconnected of their actions within the roleplay/game (but describing it as 'I don't know how we accomplished that')

Nearly crying at one point because they were effectively locked out of a story moment

Wasting over an hour trying to figure out how to do a minor quest b/c of poor design

The experience the redditor actually describes is of a fairly-poorly designed, overcrowded larp that made them anxious, exhausted, and at times actively miserable, but ended with a really great adrenaline high. All of these things are objectively bad, and they all match onto Jenny's criticism.

But the redditor subjectively looks back at their experience as wonderful and magical. And so they are angry at Jenny, even though her criticisms map neatly onto their own experience, because she frames them as problems with the hotel. They seem to feel a pressure to defend their subjective experience by rejecting the possibility of any other interpretation of the experience, even the objective bad experiences of others.

In one of their most recent (of many) angry posts about how disingenuous Jenny is, they say, "For me, there's no reason to relitigate the debates surrounding the cruiser. We are more than happy to enjoy our memories from the time and let the rest of the "haters" just wallow in their hatred."

Three sentences earlier, they described how they used some of their precious time inside the magical hotel to try to prove she was lying about not being able to see the dinner show because she was placed behind a column.

The redditor cannot simply enjoy their memories from the time. Because even in the middle of their experience, they were forceably attempting to prove that all the money and time and expectations they invested *must* have been objectively worth it. Jenny's video is threatening because the redditor cannot pretend that they just had different experiences, that Jenny got unlucky while the redditor got lucky and had fun.

After coming home they feel unhappy, which *must* be because the experience was so good that they are dissatisfied returning to their 'normal life'. The anxiety, the wasted time, even the tears? Those weren't the experience, the experience was the adrenaline rush at the very end. It was life-changing. It was magical. It was worth it. All of it was worth every penny. It had to be.

[dutifullylazybread]

Hi Darcy!! Love your writing so much!

Since you're opening up Headcanon requests, I was curious: What do you think Rolan's nightmares contain? Same for Cal and Lia maybe?? I love how you alluded to Rolan's nightmares with how he wakes up "choking on his own panic" I always think Rolan's nightmares are either about his mother, Lorroakan, or both! I can't wait to hear your thoughts!

Thank you so much! 🥹 I had a blast reading through your fics the other day—so thank you for sharing such lovely writing with all of us.

So this was a really interesting thought exercise for me. I was a little nervous to start this headcanon list, because I wanted to do these three characters justice.

I have done my best to pull from nightmares I have had, and I have also conducted research to make sure I am not working solely from one point of view.

Content warnings: Nightmares as a result of living through some pretty terrifying experiences, parental death/finding deceased parent (mentioned at the end of all three sections) and discussions of past abuse (found in Rolan's section).

Nightmares - Cal, Lia, and Rolan

Cal

Cal dreams of falling.

To be specific, he dreams of when Elturel descended.

The reason I say this is because I came across this MtG card illustration of the Descent into Avernus, and it has stuck with me:

So when Elturel descended, would it really be too surprising if some people lost their footing and fell off the edge?

As Elturel is dragged into Avernus by these chains, cityfolk are being ripped off of the ground. If they can’t grab onto something stable enough to hold fast while the city descends, or if they aren’t flush to the side of a building, then they are likely flying off of the edge.

Cal had been running errands for the general store that he worked at when Elturel descended. Were it not for the sturdy building he found himself pressed up against, he might not have survived the Descent.

Now, he frequently dreams of falling into the River Styx. He doesn’t usually wake up when he hits the water, but he will dream of staring up at the city, and he can’t move. He can’t swim to the surface.

Cal also dreams of Moonrise Tower’s dungeons. He remembers the smell of rot and death, and he remembers the sounds of things moving around in the shadows.

When these nightmares take a turn for the worse, he manages to get out of the prison cell, and he starts searching for Lia. He knows something bad has happened, but he can’t find her.

He, like Rolan, dreams about finding their mother's body.

Lia

Lia dreams of Zariel. My personal headcanon is that, when Elturel was pulled into Avernus, Lia was likely in the city’s square (Shiarra’s market). This would be a place where there would be a lot of people, especially when the Descent occurred. So after the city was pulled into Avernus and chained above the River Styx, Zariel landed in the city square.

Zariel would have made this appearance to 1) scare everyone shitless, 2) to show off the forces under her control, and 3) to make it clear why she chose to drag Elturel into Avernus. She would make it known then and there who was at fault, because she would want to sow dissent amongst the people of Elturel.

And Lia, who had been in the midst of training, was right there. Perhaps paces away from Zariel. And she brought a detachment of her devil army with her. 

Lia dreams about fleeing the marketplace. She never looks behind her, because she fears either Zariel or her devils will be there, at her heels.

While she runs, she searches for Rolan and Cal, calling out for them but receiving no answer.

She tries to find her way home, but as she flees, the city’s streets become almost maze-like. 

And, at a certain point, she feels like she is running in place. The street stretches out in front of her, her legs are moving under her, but she simply can’t gain enough traction to push herself forward.

She will usually wake up just as she feels something grapple her from behind.

If her nightmares turn into sleep paralysis, she might dream that Zariel is in the room with her, watching from the shadows cast by her wardrobe.

When Lia dreams about their mother, she dreams about trying to run towards her but never reaching her. When having these dreams, she feels like, if she can't reach her, something very, very bad will happen.

Rolan

So I agree with you that Rolan dreams about Lorroakan. There are indeed instances where he just relives Lorroakan's abuse as a flashback.

He also dreams about getting lost in the Shadow-Cursed lands. He wanders through the forest, calling for his siblings.

If he dreams of Elturel, then he dreams of running through the house, calling out for Cal and Lia and their mother. No one answers. 

It’s like he is moving through a strange haze. He is looking everywhere, but he knows that no one is there. He can hear chaos outside of the household, and it makes him panic.

Something is banging on the front door. He cannot find his family, but he knows he needs to before whatever is outside gets in.

I do headcanon that their mother died before Elturel was returned to the material plane, but she was alive prior to the Descent. 

Rolan and Cal found her body.

In his nightmares, Rolan rushes out into the garden, thinking that he might find Cal or their mother there.

The garden wrapped around the house. And when he immediately steps outside, he is struck by this deep, sickening dread. He knows something is wrong. He wants to go back inside, but he is compelled to keep walking forward. He remembers looking for his mother out here before and finding something horrible.

He wants to go back inside, but he can’t.

Before he rounds the corner to where the flowerbeds are, he wakes up.

[shihalyfie]

It's a loaded topic that I generally try not to bring up much because of the various controversies surrounding it, and a few years ago, I was hesitant to mention this in public because there was no way to frame it in a way that didn't sound like a hate post. (That, and admittedly, I probably was not in the right mental frame to handle it well back then; a lot of things have changed in the last few years.) But now this has been on record and even alluded to via official sources, and I don't see a point in being touchy about it anymore, so here's something I really wish more people would understand when they talk about tri., Kizuna, and 02TB:

Between tri. and Kizuna/02TB, almost the entire production system was overhauled, and there are almost no key staff members in common.

I know it's tempting to treat "Toei" like it's some kind of monolith, but it's very important to remember that any stylistic differences in approach or concept between tri. and Kizuna/02TB aren't just because of answering critical reception, but also because almost the entire production system was scooped out and redone from scratch. The one key member they have in common is Kizuna/02TB producer Kinoshita, who was brought onto tri. as late as part 5 and has explicitly stated that he wasn't involved on its story.

The reason this overhaul happened also wasn't just because of something like "people didn't like tri. (in terms of story content)". For one, tri. was subject to a lot of troubled production behind the scenes -- and I'm not making this up, it's on record that they ran out of budget halfway through and had to rewrite the rest of the plot. But another important thing that may not be as clear to people who only learned about it after the fact is that tri. was a downright PR disaster at the time it was going on, such as:

The infamous "nade-nade" incident (ask anyone who was present during the tri. announcement and they'll probably be able to tell you the details)

The director openly saying things like the fact he deliberately does not look at the source material when making adaptations because he sees it as too limiting, accompanied by a number of other inflammatory statements in magazines, etc. suggesting that he probably had never seen the original Adventure to begin with and saw it as a series he needed to make as more "mature", even to the point of rejecting character-accurate scripts for it (that said, it is very important to remember that a series is far more than just one staff member, and there are other staff members who did say they watched it and clearly did their research, so the point I'm making is that the director's attitude naturally made a lot of people in the audience very angry and is a big reason he started currying a bad industry reputation during and even after tri.'s run)

Magazine interviews with staff members and other Q&As generally being so vague and unwilling to answer questions clearly that it got people upset (for example, when a social media campaign soliciting questions for a Q&A session was held for a screening of part 6, it was said to be "suspiciously" too dark to actually answer the questions)

So when you see discussion about tri. being controversial because of "contradictions in the setting" or whatnot, it's not people getting petty about characterization, it's because the production system for tri. managed to make a ton of public relations decisions that unilaterally pissed a ton of people off, so having contradictions in the lore and characterization came off as being due to carelessness and negligence more than anything.

Right now, the series has been over for more than five years, so I'm not bringing all of this up because I want to start an angry mob against the series or anything (I myself have a lot of favorite things that had clearly troubled production issues and controversial statements from staff members, so I'm not saying this alone should be grounds to evaluate a series). The point I'm making is that I see way too many people talking like tri. and Kizuna/02TB were made under the same mentality by a vaguely-defined concept of "Toei" and that any differences in approach are from some bizarre hypocrisy where they keep contradicting themselves. What happened here was that they saw the public relations fallout, realized it wasn't a good idea to continue getting people mad, and completely overhauled everything with entirely different people and an entirely different approach -- and the fact they did not do a similar complete overhaul between Kizuna and 02TB is conversely why they share more in common.

[vasito-de-leche]

;R1999 "COVER" section analysis (1)

Analysis and theories on how to interpret the characters' profiles in the Cover section of the game, such as their exhibition year, ages, their medium, afflatus etc. A full dissection of the profiles.

I started seeing a lot of people argue about whether a character's first exhibition date correlates or not to their birth year, if their ages are correct and all the little inconsistencies that make it difficult to understand, so obviously I wanna talk about it lolol

disclaimer that I do not play or follow CN updates, I only play the global version! but I invite everyone with more insight (hehe....insight) to discuss in reblogs, replies or tags! (<- loves discussing viddygames)

I'm ALSO gonna be VERY pedantic and explain some stuff that might seem super obvious or go on really long tangents because this game is relatively new, so I don't wanna assume everyone is on the same page and alienate some ppl from discussing the lore and cool stuff of the game!

First of all, I would like to point out something that most people know by now about the character profiles, just in case someone hasn't seen it yet: the "Cover", "Item" and third unlockable story for every character are all written by Pandora Wilson for the UTTU magazine.

When you go to a character's cover page, there's an extra menu that can be found by tapping on the UTTU logo on the top right corner, as pictured here.

Which leads you to the following page, a Reader's Guide for UTTU's magazine.

The contents of the Reader's Guide are a little scattered and confusing, sometimes their own text format breaks as well, such as points 5, 6 and 8 being in the same paragraph as opposed to a proper numbered list. Or point 11 having a weird line break mid-sentence.

There are three items pictured on the guide, which have letters spelling out different words. The first one spells "ARCANUM", the second one "MAGAZINE" with "SELF-UPDATING" upside down, and the last one spells "ENJOY reading". Not pictured above is the full proper end of the guide:

But overall, this guide is important because it explains the formatting of the profiles and why they're worded a certain way. The implication is that the character profiles are interviews of all arcanists that Pandora Wilson and UTTU encounter, archiving and exhibiting their information like works of art.

There are some people who offered the idea of the profiles being written by Vertin, since the voicelines imply all characters are talking to her - but this cannot be, since the voicelines are just an archive of the lines said during other situations, such as being in the main menu (her suitcase) or battles (guided by her). In this case, it is extradiegetic within the context of the magazine (though the Guide does allude to the magazine being able to emit scents and have moving pictures within).

There is also another theory which replaces Vertin with the Foundation instead, given the events of the main story. For those who don't know, in the main story there is a very heated political debate within the Foundation regarding Vertin and all the arcanists she's gathered, on whether they deserve to be an independent group led by her or go through their usual regulation system. This theory implies that the information given in the profiles are reports made by the Foundation.

But given UTTU's Reader Guide and every 03 Story, we can all safely confirm that they're all written by them and Pandora Wilson. The items' description are also written from Pandora's perspective. This might be a lot just to establish a single thing, but I wanna be thorough!

As for why UTTU magazine specifically chose to portray all arcanists as pieces of art, using words like exhibit and measuring them the same way one would a statue, I don't have a very clear answer!

The game overall has a lot of themes regarding art, like Vertin's tuning abilities "First Melody" and "Grand Orchestra" being so obviously music themed. She's portrayed as a conductor for the arcanists she leads. The art theme also lines up pretty well again with the main story and how Vertin, as a Timekeeper, is meant to record time and events for the Foundation but she also keeps track of the people she meets and their endeavors, not for the Foundation but herself. It makes sense to me that the arcanists she takes in are seen as "artwork" by UTTU, they're stuck in time and represent an era that is no longer possible to reach or that has long passed. It makes sense that they're archived and represented as such to me, at least!

With that, we can finally go into the actual cover page for the characters. I'll be using the characters that I personally own and I'm most familiar with as examples. So everyone say hello to Pavia again.

Right away, we're hit with an unknown term - "mixed".

In the "Atlas" menu, there's three sections - "Story Review" which allows you to see the full story of the game as you unlock it, with some of the trails you can unlock (this is irrelevant to the post, I just wanna say it here in case anyone can help me out - but some of the trails don't seem to be recorded in this menu and there is no way to find them again?), then there's "Role Atlas", which I'll get to in a second, and "Psychube", a collection of all Psychubes.

The Role Atlas is, once again, written by UTTU. You can see their logo in all the magazines and there is the UTTU Bound Volume of all characters in one menu. The text on the covers varies, but I cannot read most of them clearly, the text inside does not change. All five of them in order are:

The Beyond

The Awakened

Arcanists

The Mixed

The Infected

All character's profiles begin by stating which of these categories they fit in. The VAST majority of the characters fall within the "Arcanists" group, so it's very easy to assume that all human characters will fall within this section, while others such as Door or Mr. Apple would fall in categories like "Awakened" by virtue of being objects.

And this is where it gets tricky, because as far as I know, there is no official description for any of these categories nor what they fully entail! But bear with me, there's a thought process somewhere in here.

The "Beyond" seems to be self-explanatory - it encapsulates any living creature that comes from space and isn't native to Earth, such as Voyager and aliEn T.

The "Awakened" seem to be inanimate objects native to Earth that gained consciousness and self-awareness, such as Mr. APPLe, Sputnik and Ms. Radio. But that is immediately put into question when seeing characters like Darley Clatter, Door and TTT being categorized as "Arcanists" instead.

There are only two "Mixed" characters - Pavia and Satsuki. The word alone could easily imply that they're either "half-arcanists", and thus less respected due to their lesser Arcanum abilities, or that their Afflatus is mixed, but Afflatus and the way they're assigned onto characters is still very vague, because they don't seem to align with their actual use of magic.

And then, we have the "Infected". There are no characters labelled as such so far, so there's nothing to speculate here.

With all of this in mind, I would like to point out the wording of the profiles. I will add a few examples here in order of category (Beyond, Awakened, Arcanist, and then Mixed).

Notice how Mr. APPLe, Darley Clatter and Pavia's description are notably different than aliEn T's? Compare "A supernatural work" to "A mixed's work".

I don't own Voyager, but her profile listed in the wikifandom site follows the same pattern as aliEn T. It is very distinct to me that neither aliEn T nor Voyager, the only two characters who come from actual space, aren't described as "A supernatural's work".

The point I'm trying to make here is that the first phrase of the profiles alludes to the character's parents or creator, rather than themselves.

After all, the character is the artwork, it makes sense that they allude to their origins/heritage - in this case, crediting the "artist" that brought them to life. With the examples given, it makes sense to me that the Beyond cannot be anyone's work, by virtue of being aliens. Human concepts such as family and such don't necessarily have to apply to aliens. Their origins can easily be much too complex to understand by our standards.

One might argue that this theory falls apart when examining the Awakened - after all, they're described as "An Awakened's work". But I have to insist that the Awakened are confirmed to be inanimate objects that became sentient on their own, and thus they are given credit for their own "existence" so to speak. I'd like to point out the introductions posted on the official global twitter for these three characters. Mr. APPLe's does not allude to the moment he became sentient, but Ms. Radio's and Sputnik's do.

And speaking of sentience, I chose Darley Clatter as the example for the "Arcanist" category because it perfectly illustrates the point I'm trying to make. Darley Clatter is not a human in any way whatsoever, it's a toy horse. But the difference that sets Darley Clatter apart from the "Awakened" is the fact that he was MADE by an arcanist rather than gaining sentience himself. He exists and is able to move and talk thanks to an arcanist - this is explained in his 01 Story

If you don't feel like reading it, here's a short summary - it tells us about a young girl named Lilian who wants a horse and how her father, who spoils her way too much, approaches an unnamed arcanist to make her dreams come true. The arcanist then gets the ingredients needed and prepares a speech for Lilian's father, insisting that the foal they created will be better than any other real horse. Thus, making Darley Clatter an arcanist's work.

But then it leads me to characters like La Source, Pickles or Door. La Source is easy to explain, as she's a magical creature. Nature itself and some animals aside from critters are presented as inherently magical in some ways, so that could also explain Pickles. I'm pretty sure one of the tips displayed in loading screens says something similar to "sentience has nothing to do with arcanum ability", which supports the previous statement. As for Door? I have no idea!

And there's also the more vague characters, who were implied or hinted to have been humans and are now supernatural entities such as TTT, Rabies, Poltergeist or Click. I'd argue that the supernatural aspect of it lines up with nature as an inherently magical thing, but that could be a reach.

Another point against the theory I offer is the fact that it implies most of the characters come from arcane bloodlines, and arcanists are said to be a minority. But how can they be a minority if everyone and their dog (hehe, Pickles....get it...) comes from arcane bloodlines?

During Constantine and Madame Z's divorce arc the last two chapters, one of the main points of tension within the Foundation is the fact that there are more arcanists than there used to be in the past (hinted to be a result of the "Storm"). And that these arcanists no longer feel comfortable having so many restrictions within society now that they're no longer a minority that's easy to ignore. While this information could work as an argument to support my theory, I think it's easier to remember that all the characters in-game are people that Vertin takes along to brave the storm with her - as seen with Regulus, they're special. The fact that there's so many of them isn't an issue. The ones not relevant to the main story are summoned with the spinning wheel from their respective times, it is not indicative of a high amount of Arcanists overall because they don't share the same space or time.

Characters like Druvis III, Mesmer Jr, Matilda and Sotheby are stated to come from prestigious or important arcanist families, but for other characters its either a subtle implication or their families are not addressed in the slightest.

And this finally brings us to the "Mixed" - where do they fit? Does this term allude to something different, just like the "Beyond"? Are they Mixed because their Afflatus is different? Or because they come from a family that includes both Arcanists and non-magical humans? Or because they're not full Arcanists? For this, we have to examine both Satsuki and Pavia. Both of them share a very particular detail that is important to their respective backstories: neither of them know their parents.

Satsuki is an orphan, which led her to start a life of crime out of necessity. The defining trait of her character is that she's trying to put her past behind her. This excerpt is from her 01 Story.

On this hopeless land, the orphan girl could only make a living by theft, which had earned her the title "Little Thief Using Arcane Skill" from the local government.

As for Pavia, he was sent to live with his aunt after his mother's death. The information on Pavia's parents is mentioned in his 02 Story and one of his voicelines.

His aunt did not like him. The child's face resembled that of her beautiful, sorrowful sister who had abandoned her, gone to the city, then died a few years later.

Mio padre (my father) was missing, Mia madre (my mother) was in the asylum. I can't remember her face, but I vaguely remember the rhyme she sang me... She's in Rome, probably in her middle age. I've never visited her.

On Pavia's specifically, there is a little confusion from my part since his 02 Story says that his mother died a few years after she left for the city, but then Pavia's voiceline implies she's still alive. I go into detail about that in this other post here, so I won't do it again either cause this post is already long as shit.

Either way, the main thing to keep in mind is that neither of these characters knew their parents, which could explain why "Mixed" is a category for Arcanists whose families and bloodlines couldn't be properly traced on account of not knowing them.

But also, "Mixed" encompasses arcanists who aren't purebloods, as implied by this document on Manus Vindictae from chapter 3:

"Holding a grudge against humans and contempt for the mixed, these extreme racists only recognize the bodies ruled by arcanist's blood as 'mankind'."

"In that case, humans, arcanists on the human side, and the mixed who tolerate the pollution of arcanist's blood [...]"

The wording used to described the Mixed speaks for itself. There's a discussion to be had about the parallels between the stigma against Arcanists and real life racism, or rather, how it replaces racism as we know it within the universe of the game. But that's an entire different debate. Overall, it's safe to assume that "Mixed" is a term for those without traceable and/or fully arcane families.

As for the "Infected", I have nothing to say because there's no one in that list! From what I can gather trying to look up information on them, Schenider was put on that list in the CN version for the demo, but was later taken out. I'll leave it at that for this part.

The next part of the profile states when they were exhibited and for how long. The first thing that comes to people's minds is to assume the year/era stated is when the character was born and that the age listed is their current age.

But upon closer inspection, that year of birth theory falls apart rather quickly because of characters like Regulus, who has been "exhibited" in two different centuries. Satsuki as well has two different ages listed. Or the fact that characters who should know their exact birth year instead have an approximation of it, like Matilda. Sonetto, despite being on the same age range as both Vertin and Matilda, is listed to have been exhibited in the 20th century too instead of the 1990's like Matilda's profile. Lilya, who was also in the Foundation at the same time as those three, is said to have been exhibited in the second half of the 20th century. They're within the same period, but imply very different things in the end. It's little details and wordings that simply don't add up.

But the biggest thing that ruins this assumption is the fact that characters born in the 90's simply wouldn't have any time to be the age they're listed as, because time began to go backwards on the year 1999.

This might be something explained in future CN chapters or events, I recall seeing people talking about how there are hints and clues about how time might've advanced up to 2006, that Vertin has been lied to in that regard, that the Foundation knows more than it lets on. And that could definitely affect my current analysis, but again, I'm a global player </3.

So assuming time DID stop in 1999 AND that the years listed are their birth years... Let's talk about Matilda and Pavia, characters stated to have been exhibited in the 1990's. Pavia is stated to have been exhibited for 25 years, while Matilda has been exhibited for 14 years - there are 11 years of difference between them, already impossible for characters who were both born in the 1990's. If Pavia was born in 1990, Matilda would've had to have been born in 2001 for their ages to line up. This isn't even taking into consideration the fact that they would've also have to live BEYOND 1999.

One could argue that they could've continued aging as expected with the reversal of time, but Matilda is the only one who could've done so by virtue of being a student within the Foundation - who are not affected by the "Storm". Pavia wouldn't have been able to, because only those special Arcanists can brave the storm if they're WITHIN Vertin's suitcase. The other option to survive a storm would be to work with the Foundation or Manus Vindictae. I can also safely say that Vertin wouldn't have been able to save Pavia on time, on account of being a child and the fact that Regulus was the first Arcanist she ever saved - something that took place in 1966.

Which begs the question: what does the year a character was first exhibited mean?

I've been told that one of the most popular theories within the CN fandom is that the year dictates the moment the character developed their Arcanum. For a magazine that focuses on Arcanists' and the truth about them, it makes sense to focus on when they first began to develop their unique Arcane skills. It does help with some age inconsistencies, but it leads me to think again about the previous examples.

Pavia first developed his skills as a child - it's the same argument as before. The timeframe is much too narrow for things to line up with his current age. And again, there's characters with more than one exhibition date.

I think it's pretty simple and that we might be reading too much into it: an exhibition is just a public display of art. The exhibition date is just the eras in which the characters were seen. The era they're from.

I don't have Regulus, but I remember her global Cover profile lists two different ages. The wikifandom states this for her profile: "Exhibited in the mid-20th century for 15 years." The era listed, mid-20th century, is equivalent to the period between 1930s and 1960s - this lines up with the main story, as Regulus braves the "Storm" from her era in 1966 (note she was already 15) to 1929.

For characters that aren't relevant to the main story (or that simply aren't affiliated with the Foundation or Manus Vindictae) the era they were exhibited in could apply to the moment they were taken from by Vertin's spinning wheel - the abilities of the item and the way characters are summoned seems to transcend time and space, leaving it all vague, magical and mysterious enough to make it work without too much scrutiny.

Next! The date the characters' were "completed" is simply their birthday. This is easy to check, since we can check all birthdays of the month when looking at the Sign-In menu and tapping on the birthday cake on the top right.

Right now, as of writing this, it's December. Rabies' birthday is on the 14th, which aligns with the information on his Cover profile.

Next, their place of birth and different places of exhibit. Pretty self-explanatory too! This is where they were born and all the relevant places the character might've traveled to throughout their life.

This post got very long, so I'll be talking about the remaining sections in a different one! If you've read this far, thank you! And if you have more insight, thoughts or would like to discuss details I might've missed, overlooked or that you feel are relevant, I'm all ears! I love talking lore and theories with others <3

[boldlygloriousqueen]

Three Connected Souls -

Part 1: Two Souls

Griffith x Oc x Guts

Just a quick warning! This series will have smut, sexual @ssault and the alluding of it, cursing, toxic/controlling behaviors, obsessions/possessiveness, non-con, blood, and violence.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Warning for this chapter: SLIGHT VIOLENCE

"Little princess, where have you gone? Princess Daphne! Why must you make everything so difficult for me?!"

A lady with black hair ran through the halls in search of the young girl who watched the lady from above the second floor. The woman seemed close to yanking out all her hair out of frustration with the child she lost. The missing young girl had light brown hair that was braided up and soft hazel eyes that followed the women as she searched the halls. The girl remained silent and bent down to hide her small figure from the woman while her hands gripped the poles of the balcony.

Once the woman was out of her eyesight, she stood up and walked towards the stairs. She slipped off her heels that looked rather plain. As a matter of fact, so was her dress. It was mainly white and yellow and had no special patterns or a single jewel rested upon it. She might have been able to pass as a maid. Daphne was never one to wear expensive dresses as in her mind there were "better ways for money to be spent" given the midlands' current state. Most ten year old princesses and nobles didn't have the same mindset as Daphne, which would explain why her father spoils her rotten in any way he could.

The princess ran down the steps, pattering her feet on the cold material with a stern face. She was upsets, very upset nonetheless. One thing Daphne hated most in the world was when promises were broken. While running through the halls, she held her dress slightly up to allow more movement for her small legs. Her hazel eyes were set on a large door engraved with golden designs. There, her father, the king, and his loyal commanders often discussed war and political issues. These were most important for the survival of Mindland, but Daphne did not care. She was a child, after all, and her mind was set on bursting into the doors demanding for her father to take her to the festival the towns people had every year on the same day. It was clear that Daphne could be mature at times, but she still acted like a child on other occasions.

This festival wasn't just any kind of festival, not to the princess. It was a festival that was meant to ask for the King and Midland to be blessed with good fortune during these hard times. People sell all kinds of sweets, dress in costumes, dance, and sing, but the princess's favorite time of the festival was when they lit the fireworks. Sure, she could watch that from the balcony of her room, but it was more fun to watch in person and see the common people smile. She could see that the festival was a few times people seemed to forget about the death and fighting outside the walls. It also helped her to forget.

Before the princess had the chance to create further rumors about her unladylike manners, a young boy emerged from the room. He had long white hair and blue eyes and was dressed like a nobel's son, though he was far from it. Rather, a playmate for the young princess who made a first good impression in front of the King when he was found roaming around in the courtyard. No one knew how he got in, but he did. He was described to look quite rugged, and he was skin and bones. He managed to avoid alerting any guards that interested the King. The man always enjoyed being surprised by people who proved to be of some use and so this young boy that came from the war room, was a boy full of undoutable potential, but potential isn't always enough to reach your dreams, your desires so at what cost would someone like this chose to pay?

"Griffith!" Daphne waved one of her hands up to catch his attention.

Daphne was fond of Griffith without a doubt. He never spoke behind her back like other children and adults did. He was someone who made her feel safe, and she felt that he was the only one in this castle she could share her secrets with. Of course, she was a girl so it was safe to say she had a bit of a crush on him as most young girls did when they met him, but in the eyes of adults the princess was merely happy to have someone to play with. The boy's eyes pierced the princess, but without any malicious intent. He always had that look in his eyes, like he was always chasing after something he couldn't quite reach. The smile that came after suited his face, Daphne felt the room brighten with his presence and brought a soft red hue to her cheeks as he closed the door softly, behind him.

"Princess Daphne, what brings you here?"

"A-ah, is my father inside?" Griffith's smile widened at her shyness. Griffith knew of the princess's feelings towards him. If he had to, he'd use those feelings for his own use. They belonged to him in his eyes to begin with.

"I'm afraid he is busy, princess. I do hope you do not plan to create a big ruckus. I wouldn't want you to get in trouble," Griffth walked closer to Daphne, who was pouting her lips.

"Father promised we'd attend the festival like we always do."

"I don't think that will be possible this year, princess. Your father won't be finished anytime soon." Griffith's eyes traveled down to Daphne's feet to see her barefoot were missing then to the heels in her hand.

"Princess, why aren't you wearing your heels. The floor is cold. What if you were to get sick." Griffith bent down onto one of his knees and held his hand up for Daphne to hand him one of her shoes. She furrowed her brow and hid the shoes behind her back.

"Griffith, are you my friend?" The boy stared at her slightly confused.

"Yes, of course, princess."

"Then, from now on, stop calling me princess. It just Daphne."

"But-"

"And stop acting like you're some servant. You shouldn't do this for anyone, not even me. I can take care of myself," the girl sat the two shoes down, then slipped her feet in one by one while holding her dress up for a better view. She held her hands on her hips and held her head slightly up.

"See, this is nothing."

Griffith chuckled while he stood back up. Daphne felt her cheeks burn up worse than it did before. With him being so close to her, she never noticed the slight difference in their height.

"You're right, my mistake. From now on, I won't coddle you as mush. I'm sure you already deal with that enough from everyone, but if there is anything you ever need from me, I'll always be there for you, Daphne."

Things like this were the reason Daphne was so close to Griffith. She couldn't see a life without him. Anyone else would have told the princess they couldn't do what Griffith because of the difference in their 'class'. A large smile grew on Daphne's face, and without thinking, she wrapped her arms around his waist. Griffith patted the innocent young girl's hair and rested his head a top of hers. He fond himself getting more use to the girl. He promised the moment he met her that she would br nothing more than a pawn for his dream and while that steal might the case, he was getting attached to the girl to the point he'd do anything to keep her at his side. He never met someone so unselfish, unlike himself. Her uncle would have been furious at the sight. He never liked Griffith. He always saw him as another one of his problems to deal with.

"Princess!"

The young children could hear someone yelling from the distance. Griffith took the princess's hand, and they both shared a thought together, and without saying a single word, they ran out to the garden.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

"It's so pretty, Griffith." Daphne admired the wooden bracelet that was delicately carved and carefully tied around her wrist. Daphne and Griffith wore hoods as they walked the streets.

"It doesn't compare to your jewelry collection, but I'm glad you enjoy it." His fingers grazed her cheeks softly, having the same smile he always had when looking at her.

"I'm glad you carry that with you. It suits you," Daphne pointed to the sword hidden in the scabbard on his hip.

"Does it not scare you?"

"Why would it when your the one who's wearing it? The only people who should worry about you with that sword are the evil people in this world. Besides, you've been training a lot lately. I'm sure your an expert and... soon you could... possibly teach me to use one some day."

"I could have sworn your father said no," he spoke with an amused smile knowing Daphne's intent with the subject.

"My father is an overprotective old man who doesn't understand that I'm growing up. You never know when I'll need to use one, and it's better to be safe than sorry," the princess continued, "I should know how to protect myself. What if you are not around? Would you really trust my life with just anyone?" Griffith spoke his head, the same smile remaining.

"I suppose I wouldn't."

-Boom-

The two swiftly moved their heads to the direction of the noise, and there they saw the beautiful fireworks that lit the sky. Along came from cheers and praise from the townsfolk. Daphne found it fascinating that someone found a way to light the sky with festive colors. It seemed like something that would take up a lot of time to create, but she could never grew tired of watching them. She grabbed a hold of Griffith's arm and rested her head on his shoulder, keeping her eyes on the fireworks.

"Do you remember what you told me when we first met? About you having a dream?"

"I do," Griffith responded as his eyes went from the fireworks to the castle in the distance.

"What is your dream?"

"What I want...." he paused for a long second before breathing out a soft sigh. "That's a secret, little princess."

"Ha? Friends are supposed to share secrets with each other. You know all of mine."

"Mm, I'll tell you one day when the time is right, so don't pout."

"You promise to tell me?" Her eyes stared up at him wanting reassurance.

"I promise. Just be patient. Haven't you heard that patience is-"

"Key? Yeah, yeah. I've heard this all before. You're starting to sound like my father now. I think it was time for you to stop joining them in that war room. You might end up becoming like him,"

"I'd could never. I fear you might grow tired of me," he gently poked her nose. Happiness smeared all over her face from his touch.

"And what about you, Daphne? What are your dreams?" He asked curiously.

"....I want to help the people of Midland in any way I can, but as of now, I can not do that as I know too little," Griffith flinched slightly at her words. Most girls her age would speak of marriage, having a family, or keeping family content. Yet the princess is more concerned for others rather than herself.

"I will become Queen no matter what. I will learn until my brain hurts, I'll even be willing to ride into battle so everyone knows how serious I am. People are always worried about the next time their families eat or what war will take their children away from them," The princess pulled away from Griffith and held a fist to her heart. "When I become Queen, it will be the last thing they have to worry about."

Griffith held his head down as he stared at the ground with wide eyes. This was something he truly didn't expect her to hear. He knew the kind heart she held, but he didn't think she had that much kindness. In a way... she was reminding him of himself. The princess didn't stop there. She continued to talk further about her dreams, but the more she talked, the more Griffith zoned out into his own thoughts. How could he ever let someone like her go? She was exactly like him, no... maybe even better... different? The mere thought of it brought a devilish smile to his face that was covered by his long hair.

"You are truly delightful, Daphne,"

The princess turned towards Griffith who was mumbling. "What was that-" before she could finish her question she felt a strong force push her down.

"Hey, can't you see!" Daphne yelled at the perpetrator who had a scrunched up face. He was a young boy who had short hair that stuck up. His hair almost reminded her of a raven. He had a noticeable scar on his nose and he seemed to have the look of someone who knew not a single bit of happiness. Oddly, he held a sword on his back that seemed way too big for someone his size and height.

"Daphne! Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Griffith touched the young girl's face as he scanned her body. "You should be aware of your surroundings. You could have easily hurt her." Griffith stared up at the rough looking boy who seemed to care less as he searched his surroundings.

"Maybe next time she shouldn't be in the way," he spoke coldly before running through the crowd. Daphne was stunned to see the boy run off without even apologizing and she couldn't stand how rude he was towards them.

"I'm going to kill that jerk!" Daphne stood onto her feet and began her chase as Griffith started his after to princess.

[lee-sanghyeok]

Some thoughts on the trailer film: Mysterious 20!

Prior to the release of the trailer film, we only got the promo, in which we just got these shots:

An old blackberry laying in a puddle and counting to 20 in green lettering. Someone snatching it from the ground as they're running, with others running behind them. Myself and others speculated it would have to do with themes of time travel, references to the Matrix and Back To The Future given the title, "1999", and that the music would pay homage to 90s pop and hiphop.

Now we got the full trailer.

Immediately, it's clear that we're in the early 2000s. Woonhak is wearing an outfit that's 2000s-inspired, he's wearing old headphones. The website that Woonhak opens on the old Blackberry is clearly a Web 1.0 site.

The website is named "Twenty", which the trailer says stands for fear and hope. Looking at numerology, it claims that the number also symbolises balance, harmony, the promise of success, as well as fresh starts in terms of relationships.

On the website, you see in the sidebar 'Nietzsche', which is a crazy reference, but makes me believe they're going to allude to him in a certain way? Either say his name directly in a lyric, or quote him. One of his famous quotes is, “Without music, life would be a mistake.” In general, he's one of the Big Modern Thinkers of the Western world known for his radical takes on culture, religion, death, and so on.

The website changes again and this time we see "MONEY POWER GREED" in red and white right above the avatar, and "STOP LIVING PAY CHECK TO PAY CHECK" below. Do these pop-ups potentially hint at themes that'll be discussed in the EP? Who fucking knows!

The avatar talking to Woonhak calls the phone "this super laptop" which is weird since it's just a Blackberry. This once again enforces we're in the early 2000s where this is new and exciting, sort of like the advent of the smartphone.

Then we see Riwoo and Leehan playing with the Wii and with older box tv's behind them. The Wii came out in 2006 and they're playing in a video game store as opposed to at home, so we can assume it's legit 2006 and they're testing out the console.

The news anchor then reveals an IT company made sure a nineteen-year-old found the Blackberry. That's why it's Woonhak that found it and not one of the other members. Something about the age nineteen is important; it's asking us to pay attention.

What is so special about nineteen and the advent of becoming twenty? Is it the death of Teen Age? Is it about the turn of the century when people had anxieties about technology (aka Y2K) and thought all computers would stop working because the date has to descend from '99' to '00'?

"The countdown to twenty has begun," says the news anchor.

The tv that Sungho and Jaehyun are watching the news on is from 2002. The Wii got released in 2006. Woonhak is legit turning 20 this year.

This new concept and era of their music takes place in 2006, the year Woonhak was born.

Then all hell breaks loose. Other anonymous nineteen year olds try and steal the 'super laptop' from Woonhak as they all believe something incredible or marvelous will happen once the countdown hits 20. Then a news anchor calls the 'super laptop' a Pandora's Box, which is something that at first can be seen as a valuable present, but is something cursed in reality.

We can surmise that all the nineteen year old people want this super laptop because they believe it holds valuable information on how to become 20, on how to successfully start adulthood and be the best. That is has the answers of the universe. But the reality might be a lot more grim as adulthood is a lot more complex then some laptop can explain.

In the end, they're surrounded by the mob and caught by someone in a helicopter. Details on Sungho's car show us "20th Anniversary" and "Nice". Nice is one of the album versions we'll be getting!

When they're about to be attacked and the countdown is close to twenty, we see the boys surrounding and protecting Woonhak. They're all older than him and know what lies ahead, and so they must save him from the mob and from whatever this 'superlaptop' will do.

That's where the trailer ends.

So, as I've previously discussed with Allison, I think we were correct to think that this new era is about the Self. They've explored the idea of a relationship in their first trilogy, which was all about The Other Person. But now it's about themselves, about growing up, about age what it means to Come Of Age. About the anxieties of ending your teenage years, of what you're losing and can't return to, of what you're possibly gaining.

I think this album will be very introspective in a way that suits boynextdoor and their way of writing! It'll still be fun and fresh and loud and creative, but it'll focus on themselves as opposed to someone else.

Also! Fun little detail! This shot implies that Sungho can drive and, therefore, has a driver's license! Though time isn't linear in bonedo lore, they have grown and now can drive as opposed to in their song 'Serenade' wherein they made it explicitly clear they didn't have a license or a car!

That's all!

[starsarefire824]

things i wish we could all stop fighting about:

1. bi mike vs. gay mike nonsense. believe what you want, but canon Mike dates El and we have not been shown anything else as of yet besides some subtext and hints towards him being queer. Until then...none of us know. until then...THEY ARE BOTH valid depending on how you read the character and the writing. i personally lean towards bi, but i generally believe in the show, if they go for mike being queer, he could most definitely be gay. if mike wheeler came out in the first episode and told me he is the gayest man to walk the planet i would be like....uhm yes. but also....if he’s a men leaning bi character or whatever other combination of bi he might be...i’ll also believe it. in the end, imo, if it’s made clear that he is queer and in love with will, his sexuality will probably not be labeled neatly with a bow on it anyway. so the entirety of the arguing is stupid.

2. the fact that teenagers may or may not have sexual desire and attraction and act on those instincts in some way makes people who discuss or explore it in writing somehow disgusting. it’s not. (ie. talking about the “hose scene” is valid, writing about teenagers feeling desire for the person they have a crush on is normal.) sex is normal. sexual desire is normal. it starting to happen as you go through puberty is normal. to deny this fact or make people feel weird about talking about is doing every teenager in this fandom that experiences sexual attraction and desire a very large disservice. there is nothing shameful about it. there is something shameful about making someone else feel disgusting for their completely normal feelings because they make you uncomfortable. and every show/film/book written about teenagers and their sexual lives has been written by someone who is mostly likely over the age of 18. so to say that fanfic writers or people who are in fandom discourse are somehow deviants is the most insane argument i have ever read in my entire life.

3. things such as pointing out how mike may have issues with food, el may be behind her peers in being able to handle a more adult romantic relationship, lucas facing racism, and will dealing with trauma that mimics sexual abuse are all legitimate and worthy of discussion. whether it makes people uncomfortable or not. these are topics that have been brought up/alluded to in the show, and they’re allowed to be talked about by the fans.

ok i lied. there are four.

4. stop shitting on people for their headcanons. if someone wants to headcanon will as asexual and homo-romantic there is nothing wrong with that. if someone wants steve harrington to be bisexual, there is nothing wrong with that. if someone wants max to be poly there’s nothing wrong with that. believe me, the people who headcanon this are usually very aware that it is not canon. we all watch the show. but if it’s fun for them to explore that with a character in writing or art or discussion then cool. it’s adding layers to the conversation around these characters and is valid. snidely saying you’ll block someone for a fucking headcanon is wild to me. i am all for blocking things that make you uncomfortable or if someone just annoys you....sure. great. but blocking every single person who disagrees with you is so silly to me because you are making your garden very small. it’s important in discourse to engage with people who have different opinions than you. as long as everyone stays respectful i encourage people with different opinions to interact with me. PLEASE. it’s the entire point of joining an online community. we bond over something we love and then have discussions about it.

[willbyersabyss]

The Upside Down Represents Homophobia

This is mostly about how Will’s queerness intertwines with the supernatural plot. I included summaries in blue so please at least read those!

Time Period

It’s no coincidence that Stranger Things takes place in the 80s. This is when homophobia was at a high because of the AIDs crisis and the satanic panic. These events factor heavily into the mindsets of the antagonists in the show. Season one is where we see this most. Troy, Lonnie, and Steve all spew homophobic views throughout the season. Homophobia was half of the evil in season one so I don’t think it would be that far off to assume that the supernatural evil and the real world evil were stemming from the same place.

Season One

In the first episode of the show, we are clued into Will’s queerness. Joyce expresses her concern over the homophobic bullying he has faced and how that might have had something to do with his disappearance. Hopper felt that Will being gay was important to the investigation as well. What if they were right? What if the Upside Down is the homophobe that took Will? Hopper tried to reassure that Will was likely with a parent but Joyce insisted otherwise. The parent would be Lonnie, an abusive homophobe.

It’s very clear that Lonnie is the person who spread rumors about Will being gay. As Joyce mentioned, he was the source of Will’s homophobic bullying. Will is referred to as “Lonnie’s kid” multiple times and people only gave their condolences to Lonnie at Will’s funeral. Troy’s dad mentioned Will being queer. Why would Troy’s dad know about that? Lonnie. Jonathan decided to look into Hopper’s theory that Lonnie, a known homophobe, took Will. He even looked in Lonnie’s trunk, alluding to Will possibly being killed by his homophobic dad. So the first suspect was notoriously homophobic and had power in the town of Hawkins.

Lets move into the town’s theory of Will’s disappearance. Joyce talked about Will experiencing homophobia to Hopper. This is implying that Will could have been killed in a hate crime. Troy says “He was probably killed by some other queer.” Once again, linking Will’s queerness to his kidnapping. The school has an assembly to grieve Will where Troy says “Will’s in fairyland now, right? All happy and gay!” And where was Will? The Upside Down. 

After being humiliated in front of the entire school, Troy tries to attack Mike and Dustin by recreating what the town assumed happened to Will. Hopper said that Will saw something, made his way over to the quarry, and fell off. When we link this with the town thought, Will may have been forced off the cliff by a homophobe. We as viewers know this isn’t what happened. Or do we? The events of the cliff scene align well with Will’s disappearance:

The similarities between the scenes could point to the town being right. Will and Mike were both sent to their deaths by homophobia and only made it out alive by a stroke of luck. Dustin would have been the last person to see both of them alive. Will was looking up while Mike was looking down which is upside down. They’re mirroring each other. (Will’s body was at the bottom of the quarry so it’s almost as if they are looking at each other?)

The scene just before Mike’s quarry scene is the aftermath of Steve and Jonathan’s fight. This is the fight where Steve says “I always took you for a queer but turns out you’re just a screw up like your father.” So Tommy H. thought that Jonathan killed Will, Steve thought Jonathan was queer but now he thinks he’s like Lonnie, and Troy thought Will was “killed by some other queer.” Jonathan is “the queer” that they think killed Will but that isn’t the case. It turns out what “killed” Will is like his father (a homophobe). Queerness and homophobia is constantly brought up when discussing Will’s disappearance. We are meant to link the two.

Both the cliff scene and the fight between Steve and Jonathan happen in the episode titled “The Monster.” This is also the only episode where Will doesn’t try to contact anyone from the Upside Down. Let that sink in. The episode where homophobia results in violence on multiple occasions is called “The Monster.” The real monster of this story is not the demogorgon.

In the scene above, Troy had just finished making homophobic statements about Will (which were directed at Mike). Mike tried to ignore the comments, but he was tripped. Dustin picked up the rock Mike fell on and they decided that it would be “the monster killer.” This rock is used in the final episode when they face the demogorgon. The demogorgon and homophobic bullying are linked in this scene. Using the rock shows that overcoming homophobia is how they win.

When they find Will’s “body” at the quarry, Mike runs home and cries in his mom’s arms. The lyrics that play over this scene are “We kissed as though nothing could fall and the shame was on the other side.” If the other side is the Upside Down, then it is equal to shame. Homophobia shames the existence of queer people just like the Upside Down. 

The only other established character that becomes a victim of the Upside Down is Barb. I genuinely believe Barb is queer. She was only in two episodes but there’s still quite a lot of queer coding in this short time. First, she noticed that Nancy had a new bra. How exactly would she know that? Anyways, Nancy is trying to fit in with her new friends and even tries to get Barb to participate. Barb reluctantly agrees and gets cut. Forced conformity. She later has a conversation with Nancy about how she isn’t being herself. Sound familiar? This is very similar to the argument Will and Mike have in season three. She has a parallel with a confirmed queer character! So yeah Barb is definitely queer. Her death cuts between Nancy and Steve hooking up. The injury Barb received from trying to be someone else attracted the demogorgon of homophobia. Nancy’s conformity killed Barb. 

We discover in season four that the Upside Down is stuck on the day Will went missing. It was a barren land of dust and rocks but once Will arrived, it changed to replicate Hawkins. Why would Will change this terrifying place to look like his home? Because the thing that makes these places evil is the same. Homophobia.

The song used to represent Will’s mindset is Should I Stay or Should I Go. “Should I stay or should I go? If I go, there will be trouble and if I stay it will be double.” Is a line I want to highlight. Will is debating whether he should stay in the Upside Down or return home. Why would Will consider staying in such a dangerous place? What trouble would he face back home that he would rather be killed by monsters? Homophobic abuse and bullying. Will’s biggest fear is his own home and this is why the Upside Down now replicates it. His fear of the Upside Down manifested into the everyday fears he faces. 

Will tries to save himself by contacting his mom through the lights and he even opens a gate in the wall. This all crumbles the second his father shows up. Lonnie patched up the hole and took down the lights which were Will’s only hope of escape. Will’s homophobic and abusive father is keeping him trapped in the land of homophobia. To make matters worse, Will doesn’t try to contact Joyce again after Lonnie does this. He’s reminded that the real world is not safer than this hellscape, not for someone like him at least. Will’s debate is finalized. He decides he will stay in the Upside Down and accept his fate. 

After Lonnie shattered Will’s chances of escaping the Upside Down, Will went to Castle Byers to wait for the monster to take him. Castle Byers was a place where he could be himself, sheltered from homophobic beliefs. This was the last place he felt safe. El visits him and assures him that his mom hasn’t given up on him. The monster then destroys the Upside Down version of Castle Byers and takes him to his deathbed at the library. This represents how homophobia will always find and destroy queer spaces. 

When Joyce and Hopper find Will, he has a vine down his throat that is killing him. Memories of Sara with medical tubes flash by. Those tubes were meant to be “healing” Sara but her fate did not change. Homophobes believe they’re healing gay people by trying to change them, but it only ends up killing them. As we now know, Vecna controls these vines. He says he “holds up a mirror” to people. It’s commonly said that gay people are “shoving their gayness down our throats.” Was the vine in Will’s throat a reflection of this belief?

Will's heart stops which is indicative of death. So Jonathan thought Will was killed by their homophobic father and the town thought Will was killed in a hate crime. Will was actually killed by the Upside Down. They were right, Will was killed by homophobia. What saved him? His mother who loves him no matter what. 

Summary: Every theory the town had about Will’s disappearance was related to him being gay and this is no coincidence. Their theories were right but instead of a homophobic person, it was the Upside Down that took him. 

Season Two

Will is plagued with visions after his time in the Upside Down. The times in which he gets these visions is indicative of internalized homophobia. Mike, the boy Will is developing feelings for, is almost always the person who is able to bring him out of these visions. How could gay love be so bad if it continues to save Will?

The first vision he gets in season two is at the arcade. Dustin was trying to win the hand of Princess Daphne in Dragon’s Lair but he loses and Lucas teases him. Keith interrupts and asks for a date with Nancy in exchange for information on Max. A seemingly meaningless conversation, right? Nope! Will’s vision of the Upside Down starts in the middle of this argument. People expressing their desire for a girlfriend set off Will’s internalized homophobia. He’s constantly reminded that he isn’t like his friends, he’s different. Mike takes Will out of this trance.

The second vision is similar to his first vision in season one. In both of these visions, he’s washing his hands in front of the mirror in the bathroom. Remember what Vecna said about holding up a mirror? When Will can see himself for who he truly is, he is pulled right back into the home of homophobia. 

The third vision occurs on Halloween night when Will and Mike are arguing about Max joining their party. Mike storms off after he complains that Dustin and Lucas are pining over Max. This leaves Will to be bullied and pulled back into the Upside Down. Yet again, he has visions after his friends fight over girls. Will doesn’t understand these dilemmas because he has no interest in girls. These constant reminders that he’s gay are very triggering after all the bullying he has faced. Mike comes to Will’s rescue for a second time. 

The fourth and final vision happens when Will is searching for Dart. He assures Dart (who represents homophobia) that he isn’t going to hurt him. This reminds me of queer people trying to assure homophobes that they’re not something to be feared. Dart scares Will and he’s back in the Upside Down yet again. This time, he doesn’t run or hide, he decides to confront the homophobia via Bob’s advice. He ends up in more danger because of this. Sounds very reflective of real life doesn’t it? (When Mike finally confronted Troy’s homophobia in season one, his life was put in danger later. Are these scenes connected?) Anyways, Mike is the person who finds Will in the field.

Speaking of Dart, remember this scene? Dart tries to attack Mike and Will only. Oh yeah and they happen to be standing in front of a rainbow here. Mike protects Will from homophobia yet again!

These visions later only show themselves as the tunnels taking over Hawkins. In the first picture, Will is drawing the tunnels. On the wall there’s a drawing of a spaceship with rainbows coming out of it. Is this the rainbow ship Joyce mentions later? Another tunnel vision happens when Will is left alone with Mike. For the fourth time so far, Mike is able to break Will out of his trance-like state. So Will has visions of the Upside Down when he’s next to a rainbow and the boy he has a crush on? Interesting. 

Now let's think about what the tunnels spreading throughout Hawkins could represent. I believe they represent how quickly homophobia makes its way through small towns. The vines diseased plants and animals. Many homophobes view queer people as “diseased” and this was especially common in the 80s. If we think about how Vecna holds up a mirror to people, the rotting could reflect on the town’s view of gay people. The only person who could warn them about the dangers of the vines was Will. This shows how queer people can see how harmful homophobia is while it flies under straight noses.

The hive mind reflects how homophobes all adopt the same narrow mindset. They cannot break free of their homophobic beliefs. Dart could be an example of the “love the sinner, hate the sin” idea. He did as he was told without second thought but made exceptions for one person that tried to show him a different mindset. I believe Dart seeing Will is what caused the Mind Flayer to try to possess him again. Though Dart seemed different from the others in the hive mind, he still upheld his beliefs when faced by someone he feared. This is very common among homophobes. 

While in the hospital, Will was slowly losing himself. The doctors said “At this rate, he’ll be gone by the end of the day.” Because they wanted to focus on burning the vines again. Instead of trying to save the gay kid possessed by homophobic thoughts, they focused on trying to keep the homophobia a secret.  Will’s personality being lost as his mind is flooded with internalized homophobia symbolizes how gay people have to hide their true selves. The only way for Will to be safe is to perpetuate the thoughts being fed to him (ex. killing the soldiers). Staying in the closet protects him.

Speaking of closets, Bob had to hide in a closet when the demodogs took over the lab. He was safe from the homophobic creatures when he hid in the closet. The second he came out, the broom fell like an alarm. He was immediately a target for homophobia which is the reason for his death. 

Another small detail: While they were trying to reach Will in the shed, Max was worried about what would happen if Will figured out their location. Lucas says that it will be “judgment day” if that were to happen. Judgment day is a common religious belief that a day will come where people are punished for their sins before death. Being gay is seen as a sin by many religious people so could this be the “sin” the Upside Down would punish them for? 

Moving on to what I think is the most important scene in season two: the shed scene. Joyce, Jonathan, and Mike all share memories with Will to try and break his possession. The memories they initially focus on show their love and support for Will. Joyce talks about how proud she was of his drawing of a rainbow spaceship (as pictured earlier). Of course, rainbows are a huge queer symbol. Joyce was basically saying she loves him no matter what and even embraces his differences. Jonathan talks about the day they built Castle Byers aka the day their homophobic father left. Castle Byers was built as a safe space for Will because of the homophobic abuse and bullying he had faced. Will was able to start using morse code after this. His family expressing their love and support successfully broke through the homophobia racking his brain. Finally, Mike recalls the day they first met. Despite everything, Mike still believes that befriending Will was the best thing he’s ever done. We now know that Will not only has feelings for Mike, but that Mike makes him feel better for being different. All three memories relate to Will’s queerness in some way. The thing that saved Will was his loved ones assuring him that they love him for his differences. Homophobia can be destroyed through love and support.

The final time we see the Mind Flayer is at the Snow Ball. Will was pressured to dance with a girl by the person he really wanted to dance with. The Mind Flayer looms over the cafeteria to show that though Will thought he was saved, homophobia will always linger behind him. He can never escape heteronormative standards.

Summary: Will’s possession represents internalized homophobia. His visions of the Upside Down occur when he is forced to face his queerness. The vines and the hive mind reflect the way homophobes spread their own ideas while not considering viewpoints outside of their own.

Season Three

It was confirmed by the Duffers that the physical Mind Flayer represents puberty in this interview. Puberty and sexuality go hand in hand. Just like his visions in season two, Will feels the Mind Flayer in moments related to him being gay. Will continuing to have a connection to the Mind Flayer after his exorcism represents how homophobia will always haunt queer people. I wonder if he gets the chill on his neck because that’s where the homophobic vine attached itself in season one? Will’s connection to the Mind Flayer represents his PTSD from the Upside Down so if the Upside Down represents homophobia, the Mind Flayer’s appearance shows his ongoing struggle with his identity. 

The first time Will feels the Mind Flayer is in the movie theater when he’s basically on a double date with Mike. At this point, Will definitely knows that he has feelings for Mike. Sitting close in a dark theater would remind him of the homophobia that lingers around him. Just like season two, Mike breaks Will out of the moment.

The second time he felt it was in the field when they were going to try and contact Dustin’s girlfriend. Will was surrounded by straight couples, leaving him to be the only one without a significant other. Mike and El decide to run off and ditch them. Will looks back at Mike and El when he gets the chill. Will’s fear of homophobia creeps up when he is reminded that he won’t get to experience love. 

The third time he feels it is at Castle Byers after after he fought with Mike over girls again. This sparked the unforgettable “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” line. While Mike did not intend it to be a jab at Will’s sexuality, it was taken that way. Will ran off to Castle Byers, his safe space from his homophobic father. After destroying the only place he felt safe from homophobia, the Mind Flayer came right back. I believe he felt it at this moment to show that homophobia was winning against him. This scene wasn’t only about his sexuality, but it did contribute heavily to his inner turmoil. The homophobia inside him (the Mind Flayer) became too overwhelming so he finally told the group that he felt it again.  

The fourth time he feels the Mind Flayer is during the sauna test. Again, he is standing very close to Mike here. It could also be noted that they had the silly scene of the boys looking terrified at the men in the sauna earlier in the episode. 

The fifth time is at the hospital. Will was just sent away so Mike could make amends with El after their breakup. Will is staring at Mike a lot in the hospital lobby, silently pining behind him. The second Mike and El get close and cuddly while reading the M&M’s package, Will senses homophobia close by again. (Mike looking at Will here… okay)

Will feels it again at Hopper’s cabin. This one is a bit of a reach but the scene just before this is of Karen, Ted, and Holly on the ferris wheel. Karen is trying to keep up her image of a perfect family. While she is putting on this performance of conformity, Holly can see the trees move (from the Mind Flayer) but is ignored. This entire act is based on heteronormativity. 

The final time he senses it is in the mall. They had retreated back into the mall because Billy found them. Billy himself had not been blatantly homophobic but his father previously abused him and called him homophobic slurs. Billy is a representation of homophobia and bigotry being taught. Instead of breaking the cycle, he is perpetuating it. This is why Billy was chosen as the host as well. He doesn’t try to find a way out of possession the way Will did in season two. He doesn’t reject the control of the Mind Flayer, he goes along with it. Billy is an easier target to control because he doesn’t actively fight against conformity. 

The flayed are a hive mind. Each of them were asked by a higher being to get others to join their agenda. Sound familiar? This also represents how quickly propaganda against queer people attaches itself to small towns. They teamed up to take down anyone that disagrees with them. As I said before, Will is the only one who can see the danger coming because his queerness makes him vulnerable. 

Summary: Will feels the Mind Flayer when he is, yet again, forced to face his queerness. The flayed represent the cult-like behavior of homophobes (just like the hive mind). Will is the only one who can sense the Mind Flayer because homophobia usually isn’t seen as a danger to anyone that isn’t queer. 

Season Four

Eddie’s queer coding relates to him becoming the “town pariah” that Robin mentioned earlier in the season. He was hunted for being a freak. In Eddie’s introduction scene, he is listing reasons why DND is being targeted due to the satanic panic. One reason that stands out is sodomy. This belief is rooted in homophobia. So the Hellfire Club is already being linked to queerness in its introduction.

Another important line by Eddie in this scene: “It’s forced conforming. That’s what’s killing the kids. That’s the real monster.” This partly foreshadows his own death as he conforms to the idea of a hero, but it also gives us an idea of what the monsters in the show represent. Queer people experience forced conformity in heavy amounts for their own safety. We see this happen to both Will and Robin, our only (as of right now) confirmed queer characters. Will doesn’t really deny his queerness by trying to act straight but he does still have to hide from real and supernatural dangers. Going back to the vine that killed Will, that was forced conformity. Homophobia was shoving itself down Will’s throat and it killed him until his supportive family brought him back. 

The purpose of Eddie’s character was to show how people will focus on attacking those that are different while the real problem flies under their radar. They started targeting Eddie after Jason convinced them to at the church. This is very reflective of how religious people target queer people in real life. They don’t care about the actual thing that’s killing the kids (homophobia), they just want to make villains out of queer people. This is how the Upside Down was able to target children for so long. Hawkins was focusing on the wrong thing. Troy’s belief that Will was “killed by some other queer” is another example of the town villainizing gay people instead of tackling the real problem.

Eddie is a new addition to the deaths that occur inside the Upside Down. He is one of three established characters that died there. Just like Will and Barb, Eddie was queer coded. That means every single established character that died in the Upside Down was queer or queer coded. The Upside Down targets queer people.

This is a smaller detail but it’s interesting how Robin is framed in the middle with the light shining above her. It really brings attention to the keyhole on her back. So Will is seen as the light and Robin as the key. What do these two characters have in common? Gay. Gay is the key! Also the eye in the keyhole is green and Will has green eyes (this is a joke). Anyways, Vecna passes by Robin’s flashlight first and she’s the first to be strung up by vines later in the Upside Down (right after she held Nancy’s hand). Is it coincidental that the only gay character in the Hawkins crew was detected in the Upside Down first? I don’t think so!

Here comes Will’s rainbow spaceship again. A rainbow rocketship sitting outside of the Creel house is a detail I always think about. They didn’t only show this ship, they made it a significant meeting place in the Upside Down. This is where Erica relayed messages to the others during their mission to kill Vecna. Normally I wouldn’t think twice about a swing set at a playground but since it’s next to a rainbow ship, it made me raise an eyebrow. A swingset to remind us of how Mike and Will met? So two things here relate to the memories that saved Will in season two. All we’re missing is Castle Byers. When the Creels arrive at their new home, Alice says it’s like a fairytale. What aspect of a fairytale could she be referring to? A castle perhaps? This may be a stretch but is the Creel house representing Castle Byers here? It’s definitely possible but it may not be necessary to represent Castle Byers here. Why? Castle Byers was already destroyed by Will.

When Vecna takes his final victim, the gates rip through Hawkins. Max’s gate goes straight through the playground across from the Creel house. The rainbow ship and the swing set are (presumably) both destroyed. I believe these items were chosen to show how Will’s safety from homophobia is being taken from him as the Upside Down takes over Hawkins (this could also relate to birthdaygate). The memories that make Will feel safe and proud of his queerness were destroyed by the Upside Down aka homophobia. 

So what exactly opened the gates? It was just Max’s death, right? I don’t think it’s that simple. Remember what Eddie said about how forced conformity is killing the kids? Well that was definitely foreshadowing. Eddie and Jason were both participating in conformity right as they died. Max was the only one who didn’t do this. What was the conformity that killed her then? 

It was Mike’s speech. When Mike gives his monologue, everyone is dying. Literally everyone. His love was surrounded by death. Many of the things Mike said in his love confession were not the full truth. There’s no question about that. It’s clear that Mike did not want to give that speech, he felt like he had to because El was dying and Will urged him to. Will, in a way, was forcing conformity upon both himself and Mike in this scene. I believe this act is the reason why their plan ultimately failed. There’s another piece of evidence that Mike’s monologue contributed to Max’s death in this post I made. What better to open the gates of homophobia than two repressed gay kids? 

The gates all met at the library. This is where Will was found in the Upside Down. I think it should be noted that libraries are sources of knowledge while homophobia is based in ignorance. The Upside Down destroying the library is a perfect symbol of this. 

Summary: Hawkins targeted someone they perceived as queer which blinded them from the true evil spreading through their town (homophobia). Will and Mike’s suppression of their feelings is part of the reason why the Upside Down was able to merge with Hawkins.

How will this influence season five?

Dustin and Suzie said it best: “And there upon a rainbow is the answer to a neverending story.” Gay love will save the world! The meaning behind Stranger Things has always been about accepting differences. Our beloved queer characters using their differences to defeat evil completely aligns with the message of the show! 

Will’s journey through his queerness has been extremely important since the first season. It’s been confirmed many times that he’s going to be central to season five and they’re going back to season one dynamics. Homophobia was most literally present in the first season. It makes sense for the boy who started the story to finally overcome both literal and symbolic homophobia! Will’s acceptance of himself giving him strength to defeat the supernatural evil is a beautiful way to wrap up his role in the story. 

I am a firm believer that Will and Mike’s relationship is going to be a huge factor in saving the world in season five. Their relationship has been built since the beginning and was made most obvious in the penultimate season. With Will being central again, it’s inevitable that Mike will be as well! Mike’s love for Will already helped save the world in season two so I believe something similar will happen in the finale. Will said it himself that Mike gives him the courage to fight on, now he must use that strength to save the world. 

And here’s some obvious foreshadowing for Will and Mike having a big role in killing Vecna.

While Robin and Vickie are not as big of characters as Will and Mike, their relationship will also be established next season (hopefully with significant screen time). This further proves how the Upside Down represents homophobia. Both queer relationships were left for the final season because as long as homophobia is present, they cannot thrive. This gives a lot of room for queer love to be explored in the final season through the defeat of the Upside Down. 

In conclusion, queerness has been integral to the plot since season one. It’s quite obvious that a show like this would make their monsters symbolic of real world issues. We already know that Vecna represents depression, the lab is the abuse cycle, and the physical Mind Flayer is puberty! The Upside Down is meant to represent homophobia.

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

Once Upon a Time on The Razor Crest

Summary: Ann takes a step forward.

A/N: Hello lovelies,

How is everyone's week? Mine has been insanely busy, but we got a new couch today and it's soooo comfy. I LOVE IT.

I hope you all have an amazing weekend. Love oo.

Due to the past history of the OC there will be discussions alluding to past domestic abuse, please note that as it could be a trigger for some.

Warnings: Feelings of guilt and shame, standing up for oneself, lingering sense of fear/intimidation from previous relationship, space being given, playful boy banter, mentions of being too traumatic too work, I think that's it, if I miss any please let me know.

AO3 Link |   Words: 1,148 |   Previous -> Next

Main Master List   |  Once Upon a Time on the Razor Crest

THE RAZOR CREST SEVEN

CHAPTER NINE

Chapter 9

Din could still hear the way he answered her, he was annoyed and disappointed with himself. It wasn’t her fault he’d been overly sensitive to the question. She was simply trying to make a joke, she had no idea about his past or what he’d been through during his military career. Truthfully, it was better if he just walked away, give her some space, “Well …” he cleared his throat, “if there’s nothing else …” he didn’t even bother finishing his sentence, after all what more was he going to tell her.   

I watched as he headed for the door, I needed to speak up before I missed the opportunity, I didn’t want my past to control me, I wanted to break free from him. I took a deep breath, and found the courage to open my mouth. 

“Actually, Din there is just … one thing” I didn’t want to start off on the wrong foot with him, but it seemed we were stepping on each other’s toes from the moment we met. If one of us, didn’t take the first step to be open and honest about our past, we’d constantly be inadvertently hurting each other.

Din turned to look at her, noticing how nervous she looked and how affected she’d been by what he said. He felt guilty for putting her in that position, as he observed her reaction it simply solidified within his mind there was definitely more going on then she let on. He nodded, waiting to hear what she had to say.

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath hoping for my inner strength to build within me. I remembered what Fennec said, ‘The first step is always the hardest, but once you start don’t stop. Don’t stop. Never stop fighting for your freedom, stand up for yourself and show him you won’t cower anymore.’ She was right I needed to start standing up for myself, “I um … I apologize if what I said was wrong, or inappropriate. However, please note I don’t respond well to a short temper.” The look in his eyes, makes me start to back track a little, “Not saying that you were angry or anything …” I close my eyes and stop myself. No I needed to do this, I needed to stand up, “But … that … the tone … um … if you could … what I mean is …”

 Din’s heart broke seeing how she falter as she looked at him, he knew that look. It was the look of fear, he held up his hands open, in his best non-threatening stance he could muster. In that moment, he knew without a doubt she was one of Vance’s people, he should’ve been more careful, more aware of his demeanour. He hoped she could see he didn’t mean her any harm.

“Ann, it was my fault for being short with you. I apologize for the way I reacted, please understand there’s a lot about my past I don’t like to talk about and I get … sensitive at times, when certain things are mentioned. I will make sure to watch my tone. I apologize.”

“No … you’re … I mean … it’s not … um …” Damn it! I had been doing so much better, why was I reverting now, just breathe, think about what you want to say and breathe. 

He could see she was struggling once again, he didn’t want her to struggle any longer because of him. “It’s okay, Ann. Just take the time you need. I need to talk to Marshall Vanth, when you’re ready, why don’t you grab your stuff from his truck and we’ll just move on. I promise to be more careful, okay?”

She gave him a slight nod, Din responded in kind before turning and leaving Ann in her room. 

It wasn’t the best first meet and greet, he’d ever done, but it certainly wasn’t the worse. No one died. Everyone had their limbs and all their toes. Plus no one got burned, he unconsciously touched his hamstring. He just had to remember to be careful of his tone.

As he left Ann, he started to realize it had been quite some time since there was a woman living on the ranch, it was going to be weird for a little while until they found routine. Hopefully, then it would turn into a harmonious work atmosphere.

“Cobb” he called out as soon as he entered the kitchen, “did you give me someone who would be too traumatized to work?” Din was exasperated with the man who had reluctantly become one of his friends, and maybe he shouldn’t be asking him that question, but he didn’t have time to coddle and take care of someone who needed looking after. His focus had to be Grogu, first and foremost.

Cobb laughed against his mug, at Din’s usual tactful self, “You really need to work on your bedside manner, you know.” He wiped the little bit of caf that escaped down his chin, “Not to mention, you need to relax. Plus, would I do that to you?”

“Yes, very much so” Din crossed his arms as he leaned against the wall, tilting his hips, as his legs stretched in front of him, “Don’t pretend to act all innocent, do we really need to go over the last time you saddled me with someone who was completely useless.”

“Okay, first that was my cousin, I told you he was incompetent before he even started, and do you remember what you told me, you said ‘I don’t care. I just need the hands to move bails of hay’, remember that?”

“You said incompetent, not completely brainless.”

“I do believe incompetent means brainless’

“That’s not what it means. Dumbass”

“You’re the dumbass”

“You are”

Cobb held his hand up, “If we don’t stop now, this is just going to keep going in a circle”

“Yeah, true” Din huffed as he looked away.

“Where is she?”

“Hmmm” he turned back to look at Cobb, “Oh, she needed a minute before going to get her stuff from your truck”

“You didn’t offer to help? Wow, you’re such a gentleman, no wonder all the women flock to you”

“Knock it off. One, do I look like a porter. Two, I’m not going to talk about my non-existent love life, or whatever women you think are flocking towards me. Especially not with you. Three, she wants to work here, she needs to be able to do things on her own, and finally she needed some space, so I’m given her space.”

Cobb rolled his eyes at his best friend, “Whatever” he finished chugging back his coffee. “Anyway” he began wiping the dribble that escaped from the corner of his mouth, “she’s going to do just fine. I think you two are going to get along, just make sure to rein in that charming horrible bedside manner, and you should be fine.”

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Main Master List   |  Once Upon a Time on the Razor Crest

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[unquietspiritao3]

Interrupting Your Irregularly-Scheduled Fic-Related Content with An Extremely Long Note on The Situation in British Comedy

Hi there. If you don’t want to read about my thoughts on everything happening in the British comedy scene at the moment, feel free to give this a skip. I totally understand needing to take a step away from such things. But I felt it was important to address, given some of the characters in my stories are based on the people involved/being criticized. I’m also going to link this post in the author’s note of my next chapter update, but feel free to share it before then with those who might not be on Tumblr.

CW: non-detailed mentions of transphobia, sexual assault, and childhood sexual abuse

Okay. I think to start, I need to explain a few of things about me.

First, as I alluded to in the opening author’s note for Should’ve been obvious, I am just an American with a moderate obsession with British panel shows and not enough time to keep up with the entire British comedy world. I jumped into writing in this fandom with huge gaps in my knowledge, which was possibly not wise.

Second, as a way to protect my own mental health and under the advice of my therapist, I’m what you might call ‘terminally offline.’ Before I reactivated this blog for the purpose of sharing fic inspo, I had not been on social media for over a year. I still don’t use it outside of Tumblr, where I follow a very narrow selection of blogs that mostly post Taskmaster gifs (love you all, btw). I don’t watch or read the news. I have systems in place with my friends and family to keep me informed when something really big happens, but outside of that, I am purposefully oblivious. The consequence of this is that I did not know about the two situations I’ll be discussing until I saw some stray posts this past weekend, and that’s why I didn’t address it before.

Third, I always (to a fault, my friends would say) give absolutely everyone the benefit of the doubt and see the best in people until they prove otherwise—and even then, even while holding them accountable and removing them from my life if need be, I try to be compassionate. That’s not going to change; it’s just who I am.

Now for the two situations, my thoughts on them, and their impact on my writing.

The Richard Ayoade Thing

I’ve said before that I’m genderqueer (she/they, equally happy with both, btw). I’m not down with transphobia. But I’ve read that Richard is a separate-the-art-from-the-artist kind of guy, so his personal views aren’t entirely clear to me. That said, the blurb he gave makes me uncomfortable because to me it seems to imply he does agree with the views in the book. I don’t know much about Richard and haven’t consumed much content with him other than Big Fat Quiz and some random clips of various shows, so please point me to anything that would confirm or refute this. For now, I’ll leave it there. In terms of my writing, this isn’t as big of a deal, since the Richard character isn’t central to anything and could be easily retconned out if I wanted to, but I’ll talk more about the writing at the end.

The Noel Fielding Thing re: Russell Brand

Like most Americans, I was introduced to Noel through GBBO. (Well, to be fully honest, I watched the Buzzcocks spanking clips long before then, because those get passed around in spanko circles, but I didn’t know, or care, who the guy in both of them was at the time. It took awhile for my crush on him to develop.) I’ve actually never seen The Mighty Boosh or much of Noel’s standup; he’s just a bit too surreal and nonsensical for me to enjoy when he’s in complete creative control. I’ve watched interviews going back to the time he was promoting Luxury Comedy, all his episodes of Big Fat Quiz, and some episodes of Buzzcocks, in addition to GBBO. I knew he and Russell Brand and had good on-screen chemistry, but I had no idea they were off-screen friends to some degree (at least, they were in the past; more on that below) until this weekend. I also didn’t know that Noel was ever accused of being in a relationship with a 16-year-old when he was in his 30s. I experienced sexual abuse throughout my childhood. Obviously, if that accusation is true, it’s completely unacceptable regardless of the legality in the UK and I will no longer be a fan of Noel.

But rather than try to break down all my complicated feelings on this situation regarding Noel, I’m just going to link to this post, which I agree with 100%, including the part about respecting people who feel differently. The two follow-up posts on the same blog give some good additional info/thoughts. I’m working on doing my own digging, trying to find anything relevant, including the source of the claim that the then-girl in the supposed relationship denied it too. No luck there so far, [EDIT: shared what I found here and it’s in Noel’s favor!] though I have discovered that she (now a woman in her 30s) and Noel currently follow each other on Instagram, and that Noel doesn’t follow Russell Brand (nor can I find a time Noel mentioned him after 2020, right about when it seems like Brand’s right-wing conspiracy-theory crap started). Make of that what you will. Personally, it makes me give Noel the benefit of the doubt unless and until further info is revealed.

Somewhat of a side note: It seems like people are most upset about the lack of a public statement from Noel, specifically. However, what I find odd overall is how there hasn’t been a real statement from any big-name British comic. Lou Sanders was basically strong-armed into saying some stuff in an interview that was supposed to be about her book. Katherine Ryan is very clear she doesn’t want to speak about it despite being the one that called him a predator on Roast Battle years ago. There’s this article about the problem in comedy more generally which several female comics are quoted in, and this one from 2020 including Fern Brady (highly recommend you read both if you can stomach it) but no specific quotes on Brand from names I recognize even there. Radio silence. UK people, can you tell me, is this normal because of the libel laws you all have? From what I understand, it’s much, much easier to be sued for defamation against a public figure and lose over there than over here. Should we expect to wait for an arrest or conviction (if that happens) before people feel safe commenting? Or what is going on?

Impact on My Writing and Final Thoughts

I’ve been having a hard time mental-health-wise, these past few days, reconciling the human need to connect to art with the fact that all art is created by imperfect humans and you simply cannot know what is in someone else’s head or past. That includes my own art. I want it to be an escape for you all, for you to feel safe reading it, but like everyone else, I’m imperfect, and part of that imperfection is not knowing what to do.

At least for now, I’m going to be focused on More than that, and Noel and Richard have never been in the plan to appear in this fic. As for the future, I’m undecided. I feel like I need more info, but I also recognize that we might not ever get real answers.

The sad truth is that writing fanfic always comes with the risk that the thing you’ve been inspired by is later revealed to be problematic. Even if not with these two, something could come to light at any time about any of these people we base our characters on. That last Guardian article I linked should give everyone chills.

I think the best I can do with the info I have today is to say I’m writing about a fictional universe populated with fictional characters, and my use of real people to inspire those characters does not mean I endorse their actions or beliefs; past, present, or future; known or unknown to me at this time. I also want to say, though, that I respect anyone who feels they can’t engage with certain fandoms or fics. Trust me, I do understand.

Take care of yourselves. I care about you so much, internet strangers. 💜

edit: linked the wrong article quoting fern, so added that