#(just checked. it is. it's been years and it's still his art on their site)

[engeorged]

Aster's Maze

Follow up to Obi's Place and Santa’s Otto

Art by @badoobers

Words by @engeorged

I know it’s been over a year since I posted, but it’s been quite a journey for me. One I’m not even sure if I’m ready to talk about. The encounter with Obi changed me somehow and I’m not the same person I was. I can’t quite seem to settle anywhere for very long any more. I feel restless, and to be blunt, like I’m not quite fully present wherever I am.  My mind is always in a different place?

Let me go right back. By now, you’ve probably read about my encounter at Obi’s place. I’m not gonna lie, I was a wreck for a few days. It was like a hangover meets a sausage casing? The amount of food he’d packed in me took days to digest. I was swollen for 72 hours, not really able to do anything but sleep and go to the toilet. (I’ll spare you the details although I’m aware a few of you out there will want them you dirty bastards!!) I didn’t check my messages the whole time but after my last post, a lot of you had reached out to me. Turns out there’s quite a few of these guys around and they don’t fuck about! The pictures you all sent me were quite eye opening! (That's maybe for another post!)

The whole thing felt like a dream, but on reflection I realised it was a pretty good dream. I hate to admit it, but being able to eat that much food was quite a turn on. I tried for months to find him again and ask what he did to me. I’ve not been able to repeat it by myself, and trust me, I’ve tried. I can’t really even eat half of what he put into me. Every few weeks I would sit down in a restaurant or a buffet place and just block the afternoon out and eat as much as I could to see what would happen. Now I’m a big guy (and getting bigger!) and I could probably out eat most people if it came down to it but there’s just no way I can get as full as I did that morning. My belly is definitely increasing in size and capacity but still, without whatever magic he was using I can’t do it again. 

To cut a long story short, I ended up travelling. The few stories you sent me (that weren’t totally nuts) were fascinating, but from all over the world. I’ve been searching for trolls in Norway, piscies in the UK, dragons in china, tikoloshes in Africa. Nothing! Not a single bite. I was starting to believe that maybe it was a hallucination from being so over tired. Maybe the stripes on the road had hypnotised me as I drove or something. 

I’m currently living in Greece for a bit. I’ve pretty much run out and so I found a casual labour job on a building site in Greece. It’s a bit of a shit show to be honest,  but all I have to do is turn up and lay bricks for a few hours in the afternoon and I get paid! The extra bit of timber I’d put on means I break a sweat the second I get up, as even though it’s early autumn, here it’s still 24 degrees by midday! 

It was coming up to lunch time on the site when I started feeling a bit faint. I realised I’d not had anything to drink for a few hours and I was super dehydrated. I grabbed my water bottle and when lifted to my lips, only a few drips came out, so I had a scan of the area and saw a guy with a cart selling gyros and beers. Usually the street food was pretty good around here so I headed over, still wearing my tight high viz vest. As I got close to the stand I started to realise how hot the guy was selling them, now I’m newly ‘out’ and so I don’t still fully know what my type is but I can tell you reader, this guy was everyone’s type. He was stacked, his arms were like ripe watermelons and as I got close I realised how huge he was. I’ve told you I’m 6’5, but this guy towered over me. He must have been 7 feet easily. His hair was everywhere and he had this crazy medallion around his neck with a symbol on it I recognised from somewhere. 

Now, I know my story has ended up on some niche websites and blogs, so I know what you pervs are all waiting for. So here it is. His gut was potentially the hottest thing I have ever seen. It was huge. He was so tall it was practically oval. Firm and round and pushing against the buttons in his shirt. It was like he wasn’t even tempted to hide it. In fact, as I approached, he lifted his arms above his head to stretch which meant that there was a good three or four inches of furry dome poking out from underneath. He looked as stuffed as I was at Obi’s. As I got nearer I started to regret my decision to go over. I must have looked like an absolute state. I was wearing my battered work jeans and fluorescent jacket, covered in brick dust and sweat and I absolutely stank. A 280 lbs slab of man like me working in 30 degree heat is a recipe for funk, and I was dripping with it. He looked up and saw me so there was no going back, I committed and walked up trying to look cool. Something about him made me want to melt into a puddle. I said ‘Yasass’ in my best Greek accent and he replied with a bass filled ‘Hello, how can I help you’ in perfect English. His accent was vaguely British with a hint of Greek overlayed. The rumble of his voice made something shift inside me. I think I was in love. 

I ordered two beers and paid him. Lifting it to my lips, thirst took over and downed one on the spot. I didn’t really want to leave, I wanted to try and get his number or something. I downed the second beer and I could see it must have impressed him as he leant forward in his cart and offered me another. I ordered two and offered him one which he took. We stood chatting about the weather and what I was up to and as we chatted he started putting together a huge gyro full of amazing smelling meat. There was a hint of salad at the bottom but the thing was packed as tight as his shirt. He wrapped it up with his strong hands and offered it to me. I took it immediately and took a big bite, within minutes the thing had gone. It was the best tasting thing I’d ever had. When I finished I realised he’d just been watching me eat it, not saying anything. His dark eyes focussed on me making me feel very seen. He had very keen eyes that looked deep into my soul. (I know how pretentious that sounds, don't worry, but you’ll see I’m right in a minute!)

I jokingly said I could eat another one and before I’d finished my sentence he had one there in his large paw! I won’t bore you with the details because there will be a lot more later but suffice to say I ate 3 of his huge gyros. I was substantially full, my own belly was beginning to push out against my work clothes and I’m pretty sure I lost a button  I offered to pay but he wouldn’t take it. He just said he’d see me again. I went back to work on the site very full and very horny!

I stopped by for lunch every day for the next week and a half. In the evenings I discovered he owned a small but very cool restaurant bar selling the same food but with the addition of a whole selection of spirits and cocktails. It was a full two weeks before I plucked up the courage to ask him out. There was just something about him that drew me in. Reflecting back I don’t know if we actually spoke about much. Even now I know very little about him. All I remember is his huge belly, round and tight, every day staring at me. Perfection in a fursuit. I remember that he had a few piercings. The medallion round his neck had chains coming off it connecting to nipple piercings. He also had a heavy gold nose ring, which, if I wasn’t thinking with my dick, might have been a bit of a clue. I was looking out for whatever Obi was, not whatever he was. And is, I guess? 

On reflection, and with what I know now, he was strategically increasing my already substantial belly capacity for the game. (More on that later) Every meal, he would give me a little bit more food. A bag of stuffed vine leaves here, some baklava there, extra meat in the wrap, a special sauce, larger wraps. Before I knew it I was eating 6 of his gyros twice a day with whatever accompaniments he palmed off on me that day. Every evening I would spend bloated and swollen, nursing my aching stomach whilst thinking of Aster. (Oh I forgot, one thing I did get out of him was his name) I guess I should add that I didn’t twig what was happening in case that’s not obvious. I was bewitched by everything about him to the point where I didn’t realise he was testing me out for something much bigger. 

A few weeks in I had a penny drop moment, I’d just finished my 6th evening gyro and he was making me one more to finish me off. My belly was huge, packed with the supply of food he’d been encouraging me to eat. I was wearing a now painted-on shirt and I was standing in the street at 5pm obediently stuffing myself silly with his street food. I’d gone past full a few gyros ago and it was now simply pushing and stretching my stomach more and more. The feeling of the stretch (as some of you probably know) is exquisite. I’d experienced it fully with Obi and I’d been chasing that feeling all over the world to get to that place of total engorged capacity and it dawned on me suddenly I was there again. Something about that day made me realise I'd met another one of these creatures. Aster wasn’t human. 

I swallowed down my last bite and took the next one from his massive hairy hand. I looked at him properly for maybe the first time. Looking past my own lust and attraction and I saw that he wasn’t quite ‘right’. His hair was shaped in such a way that hair didn’t really grow. His side burns were much more than a side beard and that ring in his nose was huge because his nose was so large and flat. And his belly! No human belly would ever be that size and rounded shape when it was that big. It would be sagging down over his belt, not sitting proudly on top of it defying gravity. I started eating the food he’d made me and asked him outright. ‘Who are you?’ He looked me in the eye and said with a slightly crooked grin ‘Obi said you could eat.’ 

I stood back aghast. He was one of them. I had so many questions. But before I could ask any of them he started packing up his cart. I found myself rooted to the spot while he packed away. I literally couldn’t move. As he grabbed the handles he turned to me and put his large hand on top of my distended stomach and winked. And that’s when I saw it. The little purple twinkle in his eye. With that, he was gone and I was finally able to move. The fullness I was not noticing yet hit me and I nearly sat down on the pavement where I stood but I managed to pull myself together and make it back to the site where I did very little work. He’d fed me as much as Obi had done but without me noticing. And I let him! 

I could hardly wait for opening time at the restaurant that evening.  Still full from lunch,  I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to ask him out or just demand some answers. When I saw him behind the bar, cleaning a glass with a tea towel I knew what I wanted. I marched right up to the counter but before I had a chance to speak he pulled out a single purple rose which he handed me. As I looked at him in the low light, I realised all his confidence had fallen away and he was genuinely a little nervous. Turns out he’d fallen for me too. He ended up asking me on a date. Who knew a 7 foot tall Minotaur would be such a hopeless romantic. (Yeah I just dropped that in. I didn’t know how else to say it really! It is what it is?) He told me that he finished around midnight but that he had somewhere he wanted to take me and would that be alright. I agreed, obviously! And parked myself on a table by the window to wait for him. 

Even though the restaurant was pretty busy, he found time to be quite attentive. Every hour he brought me another rose and a plate of something to eat. By the time it was midnight I had a vase full of flowers and a belly full of Greek food! Bear in mind I was stuffed from lunch and I arrived at the restaurant at 6. So do the math to work out how full I currently am. That’s important for the rest of the story! As the final customers left I watched as he whipped round the place lifting the chairs and sweeping up as fast as he could. It was kind of cute to see how keen he was. When it was all done he explained to me that he wanted to take me somewhere that was special to him, somewhere he thought I would enjoy. He looked a little sheepish but I agreed. We walked through town (slowly I might add, I was basically round at this point) as he held my hand. Not many people can make me feel small but walking around holding this giant's hand was quite humbling. At this point I think my belly was bigger than his but he was still over half a foot taller than me. Being near him calmed my stomach too. It was like I was just pleasantly full when I was near him, not dangerously packed to bursting. We chatted a little bit but we mainly walked in silence, happy in each other's company.

We arrived at a sort of park on the edge of town. There were a few ruins we walked past but we ended up at the edge of what looked like a small cave. In any other setting I would have run a mile but he has been so tender with me I just felt super safe. In the moonlight, at the edge of the cave we stood looking into each other's eyes. He slowly leant in to kiss me and I let him. As he leant back I felt myself rooted to the spot again unable to move. He started walking backwards into the cave and as the dark consumed him he winked again and beckoned me to follow him. After a minute the effects of whatever it was wore off and I was able to slowly walk into the cave. After a few steps I discovered that  it was lit all along by torches and it started to become more of a corridor. There was no sign of Aster but I carried on into the maze. As I walked I felt a little rumble in my stomach. I brushed it off as just digestion starting and kept going. After a few turns it saw a few petals in the ground. The massive softie had left me a trail to follow. 

Eventually, I came across a small recess in the wall with a little table set into it and a candle. I sat down on one of the chairs and Aster emerged from out of the darkness with two heavy cloched plates. He sat down and put the plates in front of us. He pulled the cloches off to reveal a sizeable plate of oysters. I smiled and he smiled back. I found myself inexplicably hungry and went to take my first one, but he leant over and stopped me. He picked up a large oyster and lifted it to my lips. I smiled and opened my mouth and titled my head back. If I’m totally honest I’ve never eaten oysters before but I’d seen it in films. I knew I was supposed to swallow them whole so fortunately I didn’t make a tit of myself. I don’t know if you’ve had them before but I’m not gonna lie, they taste good but they are like swallowing snot! Being fed them was hot though! Knowing I had the full attention of this slab of man was really doing it for me! He fed me a few and then sat back and I did the same for him! Watching his heavy Adam's Apple bob up and down as he swallowed was a surprising new kink I discovered in that cave! 

Suffice to say, it was like time worked differently in that cave. We’d only been there a few minutes and there were a fair few oysters on each of our plates. Maybe 3 dozen each? They didn’t really take long to eat but it felt like we were there for hours. I wasn’t counting the oysters but by the time we’d cleared the plates, my belly had advanced quite a way. Like way more than a few dozen oysters would have done. It was still tight and round but it was a lot bigger and heavier. It appeared that my tank top had ripped at the edges and so I just took it off. Even though we were underground it wasn’t cold so I was happy in just my jeans. 

I looked at Aster and he had the biggest grin on his face. His own belly was beginning to blow out from our oyster binge. I could see even more of his substantial furry belly pushing out from his shirt. I wasn’t sure if he looked taller at that point? Everything about him was larger in some way and he was meatier and hairier too. (Yes every part of him was bigger. I won’t say more than that!) He was absentmindedly rubbing the underneath of his belly curve as he watched me readjust to my new bloated mass. His eyes were both kind and predatory at the same time. We stood there for a little while admiring one another until he winked and shimmered like Obi used to. With that he was gone and the chase was back on. I lumbered on further into the maze of tunnels, my swollen midsection slowing me down considerably. The path twisted and turned as I was led deeper in. 

I couldn’t tell you how long it was until I found him. At first, I began to hear running water and so, for want of any other clues, I followed the noise. The walls of the maze were beginning to look less constructed by human hands and more cave-like, I guess? Stone bricks giving way to actual stone. I even thought I saw a few flashes of gemstones here and there but I was more interested in my next meal. Even though I must have eaten a week's worth of food so far, I was still inexplicably hungry. I don’t know if I can describe how it felt. My insides felt packed full. Like totally solid. There was very little give to my belly. And yet I knew I wanted more. Actually I needed more. The stretched feeling I have when I’m around these guys is something I’ve never experienced before. 

Eventually, the water got louder and louder until I walked through a stone archway and found myself in a cavernous expanse. The sound of water turned out to be an underground waterfall, the water cascading down into a piercing blue lagoon. The ceiling was lit with some sort of glowing insects which were making a melodic rhythmic chirping sound. I searched around the expanse until I found him. He was sitting with his legs in the water next to a fire where he seemed to be grilling fish. It was the first time I’d seen his legs and they were indeed as you would imagine them to be. Covered in thick black hair. I couldn’t see his feet as they were in the water but I am guessing he didn’t have five toes at this point. It seemed that he was becoming more of his true self the closer we got to the centre. I made my way round and joined him sitting by the water. It was one of the most beautiful places I’d ever been. We sat there for a few moments in silence. Enjoying the beauty. I realised after a while that he was holding my hand.  He turned his attention to the fire and pulled out a perfectly grilled fish which he placed next to himself and he began to break off pieces of the succulent meat and began feeding it to me. The fish melted in my mouth. It was so succulent and tender. I ate the whole thing quickly and he brought a second fish over and put his hands back on the floor as a signal for me to feed him. I obliged, tenderly placing it into his mouth. We did this for a while until all the fish he was cooking had gone. He leant forward and I thought he was going to kiss me again but instead he plunged his hand into the water and pulled out more fish. I’m no expert but I know one of them was a Salmon, and a pretty big one at that. And I think there was a rainbow trout and something else sort of blue? We carried on eating and cooking and eating and cooking for hours. The time weirdness means I have no idea how long we were there or how many I ate at this point, but looking at the both of us we were both much bigger. I don’t know if it’s part of the atmosphere or I genuinely ate that much but there it was.  My own belly was enormous. Way bigger than I had been in the diner. His gut was spectacular. Round and hairy and now totally free from his shirt. Bear in mind he was nearly 8 feet at this point.

He reached over and tenderly began to massage my own swollen stomach. His hands, surprisingly gentle, but firm. I closed my eyes and relaxed and basically let him do what he wanted to me. All of my senses seemed to be heightened, every little touch was like a wave of ecstasy flowing across my skin. His smell was heady, strong and potent and filling my nostrils. Eventually, I realised he’d gone but I stayed there for a little while longer. Partly because it was so beautiful but also partly because I could hardly move. 

I pulled myself to my feet, hauling my cantilevered belly up. It was still self supporting and jutting straight out from me into the air. I wished there was a mirror somewhere so I could have seen it properly. I saw an opening in the wall near the waterfall so I followed it through into a darker and more narrow part of the maze. The walls were closer than before and there were a few parts where I was worried I might not get through with my newly ballooned gut. After a while I started to smell the aromatic smell of cooking pork which made me instantly hungry again. I followed the smell and found three doors with a riddle written above it. I can’t remember the riddle but it was something about liars and guessing the way. You can probably guess that I’m not the smartest guy, I’m not dumb, but when it comes to stuff like riddles I’m out. My belly was rumbling loud at this point too so I was distracted. I decided to just listen at each of the doors. Door one I could hear a whistling noise which I reckoned was some sort of drop. Door two was a distinct growling snore. Although Aster was super stuffed I was pretty sure it wasn’t him asleep, and having met some of these guys I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a cute teddy bear behind there! I approached door three and had a listen. I could just about hear a sizzling sound and with the smell of pork I couldn’t handle it so I threw the door open. I wasn’t disappointed! 

The room was a small stone cell with a fire pit sunk in the bottom. On top of it was a decently sized pig on a spit. I couldn’t see Aster so I stepped in gingerly. The door closed behind me and as I turned it dissolved into the wall. There was no way out. I stepped into the room and looked into the shadows at the edges.  And there he was, taller than ever. As he stepped out into the light of the fire I could see he’d changed more. The first thing I noticed were the horns that had now sprouted from the top of his head. They weren’t massive but they were slightly curved and protruding from his thicker hair. The hair wasn’t just thicker on his head either. He’d now taken off his shirt and I could see the extent of it. He was pretty much covered in thick black hair all over his arms and sides. Virtually the only skin visible was across his bloated sphere of a belly. And that had a decent covering all along the bottom of the curve stretching up to a thick happy trail that snaked up to his hairy pierced pecs. The thick gold chain connects to his medallion. 

He spoke with a deep gravelly voice that I could literally feel in my feet. He told me under no circumstances was there to be any pork left before we left this place. Under any other situation I would have laughed. The pig had to be 200 lbs of meat. That would literally have taken any normal person a few weeks to eat. But here, with him, I knew right there that we would do it. I was apprehensive to think about how much my stomach would distend after that but I knew that whatever this place was it would be ok. I walked up to him and put my hands firmly on the sides of his thick belly and looked up. He looked down at me and bent his head to kiss me on the lips again. I smiled and sighed with contentment. Something special was about to happen. 

He pulled back and handed me a sharp knife, and took out one of his own and cut a slab of meat. The juices were rubbing down his arm. He pulled off the crackling and greedily began to eat it, crunching and swallowing it down. He offered me the meat and I eagerly opened my mouth to receive it. It tasted even better than it smelt and within minutes the whole slab had disappeared into me. We continued to feed one another the pork for a while, taking it in turns to slice off large chunks of flesh and sharing the delicious meat. We were soon covered in the stuff, our bellies continuing their rapid expansions. As we progressed, instead of slowing down we began to speed up. We even abandoned the knives and took to simply ripping off our next portions and guzzling down our haul. He fed me and I fed him and we ate ourselves. The boundaries of reality slipped away as we gorged on the meal together. (Yes I know that sounded a bit twatty but that’s how it felt. How many pigs have you shared with a fucking Minotaur?)

We didn’t take any breaks in our gluttony, the pig simply ended up inside both of us. I’d guess Aster ate more, simply because he is a good few feet taller than me but I didn’t notice him actually eating more. By the time the pig was reduced to bones we were both insanely swollen. My own gut was packed so big I couldn’t see anything else when I looked down. The skin tightly stretched over the vast quality of food it held inside itself. If I thought for a second about how much food I contained I’m not sure my brain could handle it. I looked like someone had slipped an air compressor up my arse and turned it on for a good half an hour. Physics had to be different in there because there was no way I’d have been able to stand up without some supernatural help. Looking at Aster, he was the same. Comically swollen, his huge abdomen surrounded by a sea of hair. The only difference between us is that you could still see some of his muscle definition.  The power and strength he contained was tangible when you looked at his animal-like frame. 

Covered in grease and bits of food we sat back admiring each other's new size. I wanna keep the story a touch modest, but he was clearly aroused by our efforts. I won’t go into details because I never kiss and tell, but fuck me he was a big boy! I’m glad there was magic in the site because after what we did next I could have ended up in hospital! 

After we had, erm, cuddled, we lay back with our heads next to one another. Our engorged stomachs stuck high into the air, solid and packed with food, unyielding in their size and volume. We stayed for a period of time and chatted about our lives. Aster clearly wasn’t wanting this to be a one off encounter. He was surprisingly affectionate and romantic for a half man half bull. He wanted to know all about me and my life and what my plans for the future were. It was such a tender moment I could have stayed there forever but Aster had one more plan up his sleeve. He pulled himself up easily and offered me a hand to help me up. I just about managed to get to my feet, helped by his superhuman strength I assume! Kissing me again he led me by the hand into the shadows where we found a new door. Fortunately, it was a double door as neither of us would have fit through anything smaller at this stage. We walked into a vast cavernous space. I didn’t think it was possible but it was even more beautiful than the underwater lagoon where we ate the fish. The glowing insects were back and this time other glowing creatures joined them. Small colourful lizards darted from rock to rock making patterns in the water that filled half the floor. Several smaller waterfalls fed this one, each framed by cascades of glowing plants with brightly shining flowers falling down.  Alongside the water was a long banqueting table covered with food. There were golden bowls and plates full of oversized fruits and bread. Huge slabs of roasted meats and wheels of cheese. At the end there appeared a large ornately decorated cornucopia which seemed to be the source of the food. Aster led me to the table and sat us both down in large oversized thrones. We’d made it to the centre of the labyrinth!

As we sat down, our swollen bellies resting on our legs I realised he had plans to carry on eating. Whatever magic was present meant I definitely felt hungry but there was no way I could physically move to get the food. I was practically pinned down underneath the sheer ridiculous size of my own belly. I was about to say this to Aster when I heard something move in the water. I looked across to see six men emerge from the water. I say men, we both know they weren’t that. If I had to guess I would say they were some sort of water nymphs? They had a pale bluey green tinge to their skin which had a faint shimmer to it as well. They were lithe and incredibly beautiful, their muscles and sinews visible underneath their skin. Their tight shorts left very little to the imagination and their eyes looked as hungry as I felt. They were here to feed us. 

I don’t know whether we were there for a few days or weeks or months. The food from the cornucopia kept coming and we kept eating. Non stop gorging, all enabled by the blue dudes. Their dexterous long fingers feeding us food and massaging our swelling bellies. We both ended up the size of trucks, our inhumanly swollen bellies stretching way past what was physically or morally possible. 

At some point we were done and we were pushed or rolled to the edge of the water. I slipped in and sank heavily to the bottom. Whether I was magically able to breathe underwater or whether I somehow didn’t need to breathe, I’m not sure, but Aster and I were able to move freely under the water. We swam for a while through caverns and caves, snaking away from the maze. When we surfaced we found ourselves on a small island just off the coast of the town. Away from the magical influence of the labyrinth, Aster was back to his more human form and his belly was vastly reduced but still clearly swollen. I was the same, my belly was huge, but it at least was obeying the laws of physics. Again, I don’t want to make the story any more r-rated than it needs to be so let’s say we spent some time with each other there. We needed some time to digest and recover as well. 

Friends, I don’t know whether what happened was a dream or some sort of vision, but I do know I’ve gained 50lbs in a few days. I have a very definite and prominent ball belly now, which I’m not unhappy about. I also have a new boyfriend. Unlike Obi, Aster was happy to stick around, so I do know that something happened. I don’t really want to ask too many questions from Aster because I don’t really mind if it was real or not. I know he’s here and I know we ate a shit ton of food and I know he’s not going anywhere

For the rest of my stories click here

[yamayuandadu]

Horned hermits and immoral immortals: an inquiry into Zanmu's background

As you might remember from my previous post covering Zanmu, I was initially unable to tell how her historical background led to ZUN choosing to make her an oni. The historical, or at least legendary, Zanmu seemed to be, for all intent and purposes, a human. That has since changed, and the matter now seems considerably more clear to me. Read on to learn more about the real monk Zanmu is based on, and to find out what she has in common with the most famous Zen master in history, Taoist immortals, and Tsuno Daishi. Even if you are not particularly interested in Zanmu, this article might still worth be checking out, seeing as the discussed primary sources are also relevant to a number of other Touhou characters, including Byakuren, Yoshika and Kasen.

As in the case of the previous Touhou article, special thanks go to @just9art, who helped me with tracking down sources advised me while I was working on this.

The historical Zanmu

Statue of Zanmu from the Sazaedo pagoda (Fukushima Travel; reproduced for educational purposes only) As already pointed out by 9 here even before my previous post about Unfinished Dream of All Living Ghost, Zanmu is based on a real monk also named Zanmu. His full name was Nichihaku Zanmu (日白残夢), and he also went by Akikaze Dōjin, but even Japanese wikipedia simply refers to him as Zanmu. ZUN basically just swapped one kanji in the name, with 日白残夢 becoming 日白残無. The character 無, which replaces original 夢 (“dream”), means “nothingness” - more on that later.The search for sources pertaining to the historical Zanmu has tragically not been very successful. In contrast with some of the stars of the previous installments, like Prince Shotoku or Matarajin, he clearly isn’t the central topic of any monographs or even just journal articles. Ultimately the main sources to fall back on are chiefly offhand mentions, blog articles and some tweets of variable trustworthiness. The only academic publication in English I was able to locate which mentions Zanmu at all is the Japanese Biographical Index from 2004, published by De Gruyter. The price of this book is frankly outrageous for what it is, so here’s the sole mention of him screencapped for your convenience:

The book referenced here is the five volume biographical dictionary Dai Nihon Jinmei Jisho from 1937. I am unable to access it, but I was nonetheless able to cobble together some information about Zanmu from other sources. Not much can be said about Zanmu’s personal life. He was a Buddhist monk (though note a legend apparently refers to him as “neither a monk nor a layperson”, a formula typically designating legendary ascetics and the like) and a notable eccentric. Both of these elements are present in the bio of his Touhou counterpart.

The Sazaedo pagoda (Fukushima Travel; reproduced for educational purposes only)

Zanmu’s tangible accomplishments seem to be tied to the temple Shoso-ji, which he apparently founded. He is enshrined in the Sazaedo pagoda near it, though this building postdates him by over 200 years. It’s located in Aizuwakamatsu in Fukushima. You can see some additional photos of his statue displayed there in this tweet. It’s a pretty famous location due to its unique double helix structure, and it has a pretty extensive article on the Japanese wikipedia. It’s also covered on multiple tourist-oriented sites in English, where more photos are available (for example here or here). There’s even a model kit representing it out there. Sazeado’s fame does not really seem to have anything to do with Zanmu, though. While many Buddhist figures ZUN used as the basis for Touhou characters in the past belonged to the “esoteric” schools (Tendai and Shingon), Zanmu was a practitioner of the much better known Zen, specifically of the Rinzai school.

The kanji mu (無 ) caligraphed by Shikō Munakata (Saint Louis Art Museum; reproduced for educational purposes only) Since the concept of “nothingness” or “emptiness” represented by the kanji 無 (mu) plays a vital role in Zen (see here or here for a more detailed treatment of this topic; it’s covered on virtually every Zen-related website possible though), and there’s even a so-called mu kōan, it strikes me as possible this is the reason behind the slightly different writing of the names of ZUN’s Zanmu, as well as the source of her ability. Granted, the dialogue in the games makes it sound like Zanmu (and by extension Hisami) just talks about nothingness as a memento mori of sorts, which is not quite what it entails in Zen. Of course, ZUN does not adapt Buddhist doctrine 1:1 (lest we forget Kasen seemingly being unaware of the basics of Mahayana in WaHH) so this point might be irrelevant.

The legendary Zanmu

The eccentric monk Ikkyū (center), as imagined by Kawanabe Kyōsai (Egenolf Gallery; reproduced for educational purposes only)

A number of legends developed around the historical Zanmu. If this blog post is to be trusted, there is a tradition according to which he was a student of arguably the most famous member of the Rinzai school, and probably one of the most famous Buddhist monks in the history of Japan in general, Ikkyū. He is remembered as the archetypal eccentric monk, and spent much of his life traveling as a vagabond due to his disagreements with Buddhist establishment and unusual personal views on matters such as celibacy. As I already said in my previous article pertaining to Zanmu, long time readers of my blog might know Ikkyū from the tale of Jigoku Dayū and art inspired by it, though since this motif only arose in the Edo period it naturally does not represent an actual episode from his very much real career. 

A page from Ikkyū Gaikotsu (wikimedia commons)

In art a distinct tradition of depicting Ikkyū with skeletons developed, as seen both in the case of works showing him with his legendary student Jigoku Dayū and in the so-called Ikkyū Gaikotsu. Skeletons also played a role in Zen-inspired art in general (for more information see here). Whether this inspired ZUN to decorate Zanmu’s rock with bones is hard to determine, but it does not seem implausible. It would hardly be the deepest art history cut in the series, less arcane of a reference than the very existence of Mai and Satono or Kutaka’s pose. Obviously, it does not seem very plausible that Ikkyū ever actually met the historical Zanmu. Ikkyū passed away in 1481, and Zanmu in 1576, with his birth date currently unknown. Even if we assume he was a particularly long-lived individual and by some miracle was born while Ikkyu was still alive, it is somewhat doubtful that an elderly sick monk would be preaching Zen doctrine to an infant. However, apparently legends do provide a convenient explanation for this tradition. Purportedly Zanmu lived for an unusually long time. The figure of 139 years pops up online quite frequently, and does seem to depend on a genuine tradition, but even more fabulous claims are out there.

Kaison Hitachibō, as imagined by an unknown artist (wikimedia commons)

According to another legend, Zanmu was even older, and in fact remembered the Genpei war, which took place in the Heian period - nearly 400 years before his time. Supposedly he told many vivid tales about its famous participants, Yoshitsune and Benkei. A tradition according to which he was himself originally a legendary retainer of Yoshitsune, the warrior monk Kaison Hitachibō (常陸坊海尊) developed at some point. This has already been pointed out by others before me in relation to the Touhou version of Zanmu. From what I’ve seen, some Japanese fans in fact seem excited primarily about the prospect of Zanmu offering an opportunity to connect Touhou and works focused on the Genpei war. The tradition making Zanmu a centuries-old survivor from the Heian period must be relatively old, as his supposed immortality is already mentioned in Honchō Jinja Kō (本朝神社考; “Study of shrines”) by Razan Hayashi, who was active in the first half of the seventeenth century, mere decades after Zanmu’s death. While I found no explicit confirmation, it seems sensible to assume this legend was already in circulation while Zanmu was still alive, or at least that it developed very shortly after he passed away. Perhaps he really was invested in accounts of that period to the point he sounded as if he actually lived through it.

The choice of Kaison as Zanmu’s original name in the legend does not seem random, as there was a preexisting tradition according to which this legendary Heian figure was cursed with eternal life for betraying Yoshitsune by fleeing from the battlefield instead of remaining with his lord to die. You can read more about this here. Apparently there is a version where he instead becomes immortal to make it possible to pass down the story of the Genpei war to future generations (this is the only source I have to offer though), and there's even a well-received stage play based on it, Hitachibō Kaison (translated as "Kaison, priest of Hitachi") by Matsuyo Akimoto. Another thing worth pointing out is that Kaison was seemingly a Tendai monk from Mount Hiei, which means that even though Okina isn’t in a new game, you can still claim she’s metaphorically casting her shadow over it in some way if you squint (and that’s without going into the fact sarugami are associated with Mount Hiei). I've seen two separate sources which mention that according to a legend he trained Benkei there, and that the two did not get along because Kaison was a corrupt monk (lustful, keen on substance abuse, greedy, the usual routine). You can access them here and here,but bear in mind they're old. Zanmu’s Genpei war connection does not really seem to matter in Touhou, though, as ZUN pretty explicitly situated his version in the Sengoku period, with no mention of earlier events. Granted, if you like it, this should not prevent you from embracing the view that Zanmu is an alter ego of Kaison as your headcanon - as I said people are already doing that. It seems equally fair game as “Okina is Hata no Kawakatsu”, easily one of the most popular “historical” headcanons in the history of the franchise. According to this twitter thread, the legends about Zanmu’s longevity (or immortality) have a pretty long lifespan themseles, as they were referenced by relatively high profile modern writers, like Orikuchi Shinbou and Tatsuhiko Shibusawa. 

Buddhist immortals

A word carving of a sennin, "immortal" or "hermit" (wikimedia commons)

Legends about long-lived (or outright immortal) monks, such as Zanmu or Kaison, are hardly uncommon. A work which seems to be the key to understanding their early development, and by extension possibly also the portrayal of Zanmu in Touhou, might be Honchō Shinsenden, “Records of Japanese Immortals”. This title refers to a collection of setsuwa, short stories typically meant to convey religious knowledge or morals. Its title pretty much tells you what to expect. Honchō Shinsenden is an interesting work in that while it in theory deals with Buddhism, and largely describes the individual immortals as, well, Buddhists, it ultimately reflects a Taoist tradition. There is a strong case to be made that it was an inspiration for another Touhou installment, specifically Ten Desires, already, seeing as it mentions prince Shotoku and Miyako no Yoshika and its Taoist-adjacent context has a long paper trail in scholarship, but I will not go too deep into that topic here - expect it to be covered in a separate article later on. Stories of immortals are pretty schematic, and their protagonists can be categorized as belonging to a number of archetypes. I think it’s safe to say this has a lot to do with the self-referential character of this sort of literature - compilers of new works were obviously familiar with their forerunners, and imitated them for the sake of authenticity. In China, literary accounts of the lives of immortals circulated as early as in the first century BCE, with the concept of immortals (xian, 仙, read as sen in Japanese; this term and its derivatives have various other translations too, with Touhou media generally favoring “hermit”) itself already appearing slightly earlier. It seems Shenxian Zhuan (Biographies of Spirit Immortals) by a certain Ge Xuan, certified immortals enthusiast and cinnabar-based immortality elixir connoisseur (discussing and developing immortality elixirs was a popular pastime for literati in ancient and medieval China), can in particular be considered the inspiration for the later Japanese compilation. While the concept of immortals was largely developed by Taoists, tales focused on them were already not strictly the domain of Taoism by the time they reached Japan. They were embraced in Chinese culture in general, both in strictly religious context and more broadly in art. In Japan, they came to be incorporated into Buddhist worldview, and in fact Honchō Shinsenden states that their protagonists can be understood as “living Buddhas” (ikibotoke), a designation used to refer to particularly saintly Buddhists. Their devotion to both Buddhas and other related figures, and to local kami, is stressed multiple times too.

Presumably this was the result of the influence of the Japanese Buddhist concept of hijiri (聖), a type of particularly rigorous solitary ascetic in popular imagination regarded as almost divine. Needless to say, most of you are actually familiar with the hijiri even if you never read about them, as this is the source of Byakuren’s surname and a clear influence on her character too. In Honchō Shinsenden, it is outright said that the sign 仙, normally read as sen, should be read as hijiri in this case.

A portrait of Huisi (wikimedia commons)

The notion of extending one’s lifespan was not incompatible with Buddhism, as evidenced by tales of adepts who lived for a supernaturally long period of time to show their compassion to more beings or to get closer to the coming of Maitreya. Even the founder of the Tiantai school of Buddhism (the forerunner of Japanese Tendai), Huisi, was said to meditate in hopes of extending his life to witness Maitreya. At the same time, Chinese compilations of stories about immortals do not list Buddhists among them, in contrast with Japanese ones. This might be due to the rivalry between these religions which was at times rather pronounced in Tang China, culminating in events such as emperor Wuzong's persecution of Buddhism. Let’s return to Honchō Shinsenden, though. Its original author was most likely Ōe no Masafusa, active in the second half of the eleventh century. No full copy survives, but the original contents can nonetheless be restored based on various fragmentary manuscripts. Some of the sections are preserved as quotations in other texts or in larger compilations of stories, too. I have seen claims online that the historical Zanmu is covered in some editions of the Honchō Shinsenden or works dependent on it. So far I was only able to determine with certainty that Zanmu is covered alongside the immortals from Honchō Shinsenden in at least one modern monograph (Nishi-Nihon-hen by Kōsai Chigiri; if anyone of you have access to it I’d be interested to learn what exactly it says about Zanmu) and a number of posts and articles online. However, he lived around 400 years after this work was completed, so he quite obviously does not appear in its original version, contrary to what the Touhou wiki says right now. Masafusa does not necessarily portray the immortals as pinnacles of morality, and indeed moral virtues do not seem to be a prerequisite for attaining this status in his work. It is therefore possible that despite being setsuwa, his tales of immortals were an entirely literary endeavor and were not meant to evoke piety, let alone promote the worship of described figures.

A recurring pattern which unifies all of these tales is describing immortals as eccentric. As I already noted, this is a distinct characteristic of the historical Zanmu too, and it comes up in the bio of his Touhou counterpart as well. She has “reached the absolute pinnacle of eccentricity”. It seems safe to say ZUN is aware of that pattern, then, and consciously chose to highlight this. He also stresses that Zanmu has lived through an era of marital strife, specifically through the Sengoku period. The inclusion of such episodes is another innovation typical for Japanese immortal tales, and does appear to be a feature of the tradition pertaining to Zanmu’s counterpart too, as discussed above. Horned hermits?

A modern devotional statuette of Laozi with horns, found on ebay of all places; reproduced here for educational purposes only.

There is a further possible feature of Zanmu that might be tied to Honchō Shinsenden. While there are numerous physical traits attributed to immortals in Chinese sources, Masafusa decided to only ever highlight two. One of them are unusual bones, the other - horns on the forehead. Tragically one of my favorites, square pupils (mentioned in Liexian Zhuan), is missing. Masafusa relays that an anonymous hijiri, the “Rod-Striking Immortal”, grew stumpy horns as a sign of attaining his supernatural status.This might be a stretch, but perhaps Zanmu, due to being the Touhou version of a legendary immortal, also already had horns before becoming an oni. You have to admit it would be funny.

The two horns - or rather small bumps, based on available descriptions -  characteristic for some immortals were known as rijiao (日角; “sun-horn”) and yuenxuan (月懸; “moon crescent”). Such unusual physical features were already attributed to various legendary and historical rulers and sages in China in the first century CE, so this is not really a Taoist invention, but rather an adoption of beliefs widespread in China in the formative years of this religion. They also intersected with the early Buddhist tradition about the so-called “32 marks of the Buddha”, documented for example in Mahāvastu and later in Chinese Mahayana tradition which Taoist authors were familiar with. Yu the Great, the flood hero, was among the legendary figures said to possess horns in Chinese tradition. It is even sometimes believed Laozi had them when he was born, which according to Livia Kohn was meant to symbolically elevate him to the rank of such mythical figures as Fuxi.

While this is ultimately a post focused on Zanmu, I think it’s worth pointing out this belief in horned ascetics has very funny implications for Kasen. Being a “horned hermit” is not really an issue, it would appear. If anything, it adds a sense of authenticity. Clearly Kasen needs to study the classics more.

Immortals (and mortals) in hell

One last connection between Zanmu and legends about immortals is her role as an official in hell. However, this is much less directl. Early Chinese sources mention “Agents Beneath the Earth” (dixia zhu zhe 地下主者), a rank available to low class immortals choosing to serve in the land of the dead. They could be contrasted with the immortals inhabiting heaven, regarded as higher ranked than them. However, note that there are also many narratives focused on mortals becoming officials in hell - in Japan arguably the most famous case is the tale of Ono no Takamura, a historical poet from the early Heian period. In Chinese culture there are multiple examples but I think none come close to the popularity of judge Bao. It does not seem any immortals playing a similar role retain equal prominence in culture. Ultimately this paragraph is only a curiosity, and a much closer parallel to Zanmu's role in hell exists - and it’s connected to materials ZUN already referenced to booth.

Corrupt monks, oni and tengu

Ryōgen, the most famous monk turned demon, and his alter ego Tsuno Daishi (wikimedia commons)

In addition to characterizing Zanmu as eccentric, ZUN also wrote in her bio that she is a corrupt monk. As we learn, she developed a belief that the best way to reconcile the Sengoku period ethos which demanded boasting about the number of enemies killed with Buddhist precepts was to focus on spirits rather than the living, since she will basically deliver salvation to them. She ultimately “absorbed some beast-youkai spirits, thus discarding her life as a human”. This to my best knowledge does not really match any genuine tradition about the historical Zanmu, related figures or anyone else. As far as I can tell, it’s hard to find a direct parallel either in irl material or elsewhere in Touhou... at least if we stick to the details. More vaguely similar examples are not only attested, discussing them was for a time arguably the backbone of Buddhist discourse in Japan, and neatly explains why Zanmu became an oni. The idea that monks who broke Buddhist precepts in some way turned into monsters is not ZUN’s invention. It first appears in sources from the Heian period, and gained greater relevance in the Kamakura period. Particularly commonly it was asserted that members of Buddhist clergy who fail to attain nirvana turn into tengu. However, oni were an option too. Bernard Faure points out that Ryōgen, the archetypal example of a fallen monk (see here for a detailed discussion of this topic, and of his return to grace as a demon keeping other demons at bay), could be described as reborn as an oni, for example. The Shingon monk Shinzei is variously described as turning into an oni, a tengu or an onryō (vengeful spirit). Oni are also referenced in a similar context in Heike Monogatari alongside tenma, a term referring to demons obstructing enlightenment in general.

Corrupt monks turned into tengu in the Tengu Zoshi Emaki (wikimedia commons)

Typically it was believed that monks who turned into demons went to a realm variously known as makai, tengudō or madō. As you may know, normally there are three realms one should avoid reincarnating in - beasts, hungry ghosts and hell - but this was basically a bonus fourth one. Granted, this view was not recognized universally, and the alternative interpretation was that it was just a specific hell with a distinct name. At the absolute peak of this concept’s relevance, the foremost Buddhist thinkers of these times, including Nichiren, were accusing each other of being demons. Additionally, some of the past emperors, especially Sutoku and Goshirakawa, could be presented as tengu, for example in Hōgen monogatari. There was also an interest in finding gods who could keep the forces of disorder at bay. You can see echoes of these beliefs in rituals pertaining to Matarajin, which ZUN rather explicitly referenced in Aya's route in Hidden Star in Four Seasons. Typically the reason behind transformation into an oni, tengu or another vaguely similar being were earthly attachments. Alternatively, it could be pursuing gejutsu, “outside arts”, essentially teachings which fell outside of what was permitted by Buddhism. Note this does not necessarily mean anything originating in religions other than Buddhism, though, the term is more nuanced. So, for instance worship of kami or following Confucian values are perfectly fair game. A synonymous term was gedō, “heretical” way (on the use of the term “heresy” in the context of study of Buddhism see here). We can make a case for Zanmu’s bio alluding to that - she wanted to adhere to the social norms of the Sengoku period by symbolically taking in a headcount by absorbing spirits, I suppose. That’s not really a thing in any Buddhist literature, though, and I assume ZUN came up with this himself. Conclusion While this article is slightly less rigorous than my recent research ventures pertaining to Matarajin, let alone the Mesopotamian wiki operations, I hope it nonetheless sheds some additional light on Zanmu. I will admit I already liked her even before I started digging into the possible inspiration behind her, and finding out more only strengthened my enthusiasm. While there are clear parallels between Zanmu, her namesake and a variety of other characters from Japanese and Chinese literature and religions, as usual for a character made by ZUN her strength lies both in creative repurposing of these elements and in adding something new.

Postscriptum: Zanmu and Tang Sanzang?

Xuanzang, as depicted by an unknown Qing artist (wikimedia commons) While much about Zanmu’s character - her backstory as an eccentric fallen monk who became a demon, her apparent zen theme, and so on  - all form a coherent whole, there is a tiny detail which does not really match anything else discussed in this article. It does not come from her dialogue or bio, but rather from Enoko’s. As we learn, she became immortal herself after eating a piece of Zanmu’s body back when the latter was still a human. Or rather, the combination of that and subsequently consuming a magical gemstone as recommended by Zanmu did it - I’m pretty sure I misread this before. As 9 pointed out to me, probably the implications are just that Enoko’s backstory is a partial reference to Perfect Memento in Strict Sense, which does state that consuming the flesh of a monk would be a particularly suitable way for an ordinary animal to turn into a youkai. Still, comparisons between this tidbit and Journey to the West have been made by others before already, so I figured it would be suitable to address them here even if they lie beyond my own argument about the inspiration behind Zanmu. In this novel, many demons want to devour its protagonist Tang Sanzang because his flesh is said to make anyone who consumes immortal. This is because he is a reincarnation of Master Golden Cicada (Jinchan zi, 金蟬子), a disciple of the Buddha invented for the sake of the story. Interestingly, Sanzang is portrayed as an adherent of Chan Buddhism, the school from which Japanese Zen is derived (note that his historical forerunner Xuanzang belonged to the Yogācāra tradition instead). Despite the vague similarities, I ultimately do not think there are particularly close parallels between Zanmu and Sanzang. For starters, Zanmu is meant to be a corrupt monk, while Sanzang is the opposite of that. Their respective characters couldn’t differ more either. Throughout the entire novel, Sanzang is a pretty poor planner, shows doubt in his own abilities, and regularly misjudges the situation. Needless to say this does not exactly offer a good parallel to Zanmu. Sure, she creates a bootleg Wukong, but Sanzang did not create Wukong, the famous primate was just assigned to him as a bodyguard. Therefore, until evidence on the contrary appears (for example in an interview) I would personally remain cautiously pessimistic regarding a possible connection here.  Recommended reading

Bernard Faure, Rage and Ravage (Gods of Medieval Japan vol. 3)

Noga Ganany, Baogong as King Yama in the Literature and Religious Worship of Late-Imperial China

Zornica Kirkova, Roaming into the Beyond: Representations of Xian Immortality in Early Medieval Chinese Verse

Christoph Kleine & Livia Kohn, Daoist Immortality and Buddhist Holiness: A Study and Translation of the Honchō shinsen-den 

Livia Kohn, The Looks of Laozi

James Robson, The Institution of Daoism in the Central Region (Xiangzhong) of Hunan

Haruko Wakabayashi, From Conqueror of Evil to Devil King: Ryogen and Notions of Ma in Medieval Japanese Buddhism

Idem, The Seven Tengu Scrolls. Evil and the Rhetoric of Legitimacy in Medieval Japanese Buddhism

[love-enby]

Im going to be honest, I don't believe the grooming accusations against Sean Chiplock.

Why, you may ask, when it's (supposedly) all laid out for everyone to see?

Well, after doing some research, I don't believe Casper (or Rina really) to be credible. Why?

Well, let's start!

Firstly, before looking at any of the screenshots, I want to acknowledge Casper himself states he never thought Sean groomed him. That was something Rina claimed, which is false anyway because Casper literally admits they talked for an hour. You cannot groom someone in an hour. I should know, I'm a literal grooming victim myself. (I would rather not share those but if I have to I will idc at this point)

I think it would be better to start with Casper's claim of Sean knowing he was a minor. He and his friend both insist that his age was listed in his profiles, which I can't confirm for Skype (or deviantart for that matter, but as far as I'm aware they never had any contact on DA), and that Sean knew this and still continued to "groom" him. He also claims he never did do NSFW commissions, and that his ex supposedly drew any porn on his account and that he colored it.

Oh? As you guys see here there are numerous claims that he never pretended to be an adult and that he had ages listed in the bio. But you know what? Someone found his Fur Affinity Account, his old Inkbunny account, and a FLIST (for those unaware, this is a PORN SITE.) account linked to his old FA via the Wayback machine. Now, let's look at this, shall we?

So, what about it? Let's look.

No age mentioned here. I'm not going to show every journal entry, but I did CTRL+F the keywords "14" "15" and "minor". No actual results, the numbers just were dates. I provided the link, you can check for yourself. His journals are just classic journal stuff, but he has no mention of his age, unlike the claim here.

Why would he remove his age from his profiles if it was already listed? Unless... it was never there in the first place.

However, I do want to look at one journal entry, which is his commissions tos journal. Why?

Huh? But i thought you said you didn't do those? He does claim the account was "sold when he was a teen". but doesn't give an age at all, or any proof of this. If I had to assume, this was probably after this entry below. Which, the TOS was posted of February of that year. Also, if he had sold it before that TOS was made, why does the archive still have his name listed? It had to have been a late teen when it was supposedly was sold.

Now, let's move onto the Inkbunny thing.

Same username as his old FA, and it has the FA linked.

As you see, there is the Flist account. What happens if you click on the Flist account?

well the actual answer is if you use the wayback machine it just glitches and won't let you go past the warning, but someone found the actual account on the site, which it also shows when someone was last online and when the account was made.

hm. The age says right there, *19*. And it was made 10 years ago. I'm aware the accusations were from 11 years ago, but this account was made a year later. I input the "creation" time from today (July 5 2024 for anyone in the future) and it gave me this date

He was still active on his FA during this time, judging by the journals. I'm sure the date is skewed like a day or so because I'm making this at 2 in the morning, so I have no idea if the FLIST thing was counting today or just yesterday.

So, to summarize: There is no proof that he has listed himself as a minor on any of the medias Sean has contacted him on. Any claims that he has that this "wasn't him", of course, has no proof. Meanwhile, as we see here, the archive isn't lying. This seems to have more evidence against him, as his admitted he used this username before (like I said, he never said *when* it was sold. but it doesn't make sense to me he'd sell it a year after talking to Sean, esp since he had no idea who Sean was at the time. I'm fairly confident this was Casper.)

So? What about those screenshots? Are you saying those are fake too?

No, I'm not going to be one of those "those are fake screenshots!", I'm going to operate that those are real.

Now, Castor, you literally see this weird shit he said to Casper, why the fuck would you side with him?

I feel I should clarify now, I don't think Sean is innocent either. I'm just making this entire thread because everyone is calling Sean a pedo, when all the proof I've seen is a minor invading adult spaces and pretending to be an adult. Genuinely, if you're at a strip club, you're going to assume everyone there is of age, right? Why wouldn't Sean assume the same considering this person was actively in NSFW spaces.

I'm not going to deny, those screenshots are weird. However, I kinda wonder if they weren't intentionally taken out of context. They had both talked previously on FA notes (confirmed by Casper's screenshots), but there is no proof of these notes. We have no idea what was said here. They totally could've had a sexual conversation (not saying they did, just saying it's possible) there, before moving to Skype. I'm not entirely certain of this though. This is just speculation, not trying to argue anything there.

I also feel like Casper's whole argument is lacking a whole bunch of necessary evidence. A bunch of these are just things he claims is true, while having no proof to back these up (minus the screenshots). Literally all the proof he has are those screenshots. Nothing else. I checked.

Meanwhile, the archive literally proves he had to been lying about something, considering the tweets I have shared vs the archive.

This isn't an argument, if this actually happened how it's laid out (x to doubt), but what Rina did also is insanely fucked up. The fact that they decided, without Casper's knowledge or consent, to post all of this "on his behalf" and make these accusations says a lot about them, I feel. This was not Rina's trauma to share. I'm aware he did make a public journal about it, but that was many years ago, and what Rina did was retraumatize and trigger Casper. That's not what a friend does.

I could argue that this whole thing could be intentional, judging by Casper's lack of emotion/anger on this (because I mean let's be real, who the hell wouldn't be mad someone shared your trauma to millions of people and you had to find out by finding the post). I'm aware they did have that little back in forth where Rina was like I MISSED YOU and yadayada, but they easily could've just.. faked that? But that's a whole bunch of hypotheticals without proof, and the whole fucking reason I'm making this post is to post proof against what claims I've seen.

Anyway, I don't really have much else to say, and Idk how to wrap this up tbh.

tldr: i don't believe sean is a pedo like everyone is claiming, i think he was lied to by casper. also, this was a decade ago, and everyone is acting like he can't change from then. i don't think the screenshots are fake and he should be held accountable for those (which he's trying to take some responsibility for but he rightfully doesn't want to say "those are real!" because no one can actually confirm those are real screenshots.)

Also, by all means if more solid evidence comes out against Sean, I will admit I'm wrong. But as of right now, a bunch of screenshots that are out of context, from a now deleted DA account/journal (and Skype) that you can no longer access, does not seem solid at all.

[waterfallofspace]

Who are your favorite artists/writers in the community?

I see this one has been going around!! I actually got two, so forgive me for answering only just the one, but thank you both for sending this in!! Absolutely gonna emphasis *favourite*, not best, so I'm CERTAIN I'm gonna miss people that I just haven't seen

Okay so this is gon be a long list, and tagging people is scary so I really apologize if any of you didn't wanna be tagged <3 and I'm certain to miss a few, so if I don't mention you, please know that you're still amazing and it doesn't mean I don't melt to bits at your content!!!~ <3

(also gonna include a few wav makers bc that's honestly an art too!!! and i feel they deserve to be praised for that!!~)

(and gonna copy snzdreams here <3) People I know/Friends:

--- @onetrickponi is an absolute TREASURE, not only so kind and fun, but also genuine triple threat, despite what her name suggests~ --- @zensations35 one of the BIG names on here, at least to me~ someone I've adored for years, such a kind person too!! Not super close, but adore her!~ --- @snzdreams Absolute dear, and SUCH a fun person, and honestly honestly honestly the best g/ojo writer ive ever had the pleasure of reading, girl i stg that closet fic will live with me forever --- @bestwhumpist SOOOOO good!!! and so sweet, i have the honour of calling you a friend and also the honour of enjoying your WORK bc mmm girl yes --- @ithadtobesneezing also one of the sweetest people, so many people on here are so sweet and it makes me insane, and SUCH a good writer, like hello??? hi???? made me fall in love with y/uta i swear --- @6pmsoup AMAZING art like AMAAZZZINNGGG art, looks so good i'd swear it was straight from a manga --- @hachiibun some of my favourite art on this entire site, hachii is not only INSANELY impressive, also so nice!!! genuinely amazing~ --- @goodlucksnez makes some REALLY good wavs, and Vic is also such a kind and fun person!~ --- @ezynse REALLY good fics, personally seen a few a/ce a/ttorney ones making the rounds, but also just a funny and sweet person~ --- @lycheeehehe made this one w/olfwood drawing that made me feel things AND AND AND then also made a list of hcs for t/oji and ik hcs arent what you asked but literally made me insane over this man --- @devilscastle69 THE h/otwings writer on A/03, absolutely go check them out if you like h/otwings, some AMAZING stuff on there!! (also just such a cool person hi <3) --- @themiseryandcompany older fics but SOOO worth it, tasty lil morsels, and also one of my first friends on here!!! so adore her forever <3 --- @snzluv3r hi so honestly this one is so hguahguh for me to admit but some of the hottest wavs on here, and more than that!! literally a sweetheart, SUCH a sweet person!~ <33

People I don't know, but really appreciate:

--- @whiskey-tango-matcha such good stories about their lil guy ocs, they're SO alive and I honestly feel like they're characters from a published media with how much I know them and feel certain of them!! --- @autumnsneezes some of the best wavs (and snzs) that i've heard, absolutely amazing!!~ --- @gemsden some REALLY good content over here, mostly just posts with vague ideas, but some writing too!~ and just sooo good!~ --- @kotyonoksnz literally SUCH amazing art, released a few comics of it, and SPOILED snzblr with a beautiful h/azbin partial one, absolutely incredible art!!

omg this has been SO long im so sorry!! and im so sorry if i missed someone/you, i PROMISE it doesn't mean I don't love your stuff, just means i forgot T-T but I hope the length (and tags) are alright, and thank you for asking non!!~

[canaidliafail]

stay grounded pt.3

streamer abby x streamer reader 🌿

[ part 1 ] [ part 2 ] [part 4]

MDI. Things get spicy here <3

not proof read // will check for mistakes later tonight <33

Your favorite class aside from sewing, was without a doubt art classes. First two hours you did still nature with charcoals or pencils and the other two you would draw modeling figures and practice on how you could translate the fabric type you intended on using in your sketch.

You were good at drawing. It came naturally to you and your teachers questioned how did you end up in fashion design and not art college. You were his favorite.

But it had been a week since you saw a sign from Abby and everything was going to hell. Last post she made was a photo of her with Nora in cosplay which only accelerated your spiral. To be fair you hadn’t initiated contact either but that was neither here nor there

“Did you not have time to draw these days ? Your strokes are very messy…” Your teacher said hovering behind you and studying your piece. You would have screamed actually and then cried and then you decided then you would bomb the city

You gave him a curt smile “I had a rough week at work” He sighed in understanding and patted your shoulder “Ah so young and already having to balance all this. I understand its hard. You can take it easy today then” he said and half an hour later came back to give your sketch an empathetic look that looked like constipation.

At the end of the day you rolled up the papers with your pitiful sketches and shoved them in your bag crinkling the edges. You felt stupid for letting someone on the other end of the world affect your life that much. Hell it's been barely a month that she noticed you ( you refused to account for all the other times you tried to get her attention by sending bits or commenting on her chat a year ago and the occasional like left on a post that made it her -for you page- )

You were at the cafe across from your college building sitting on the bar counter in front of the large glass doors sipping on the overpriced cappuccino and biting the rim of your reusable cup.

She got me a ridiculously overpriced statue. That has to amount to something, no?

Then again she did mention to her it wasn’t that different from getting me a cup of coffee…

Your mind went in circles. Did Onlyfans pay her so well that she could mindlessly toss her money left and right? It wouldn’t be such a bizarre concept to be fair. She was after all at the peak of her career with girls begging to see so much as a collar bone. You nibbled on your lower lip fighting the temptation to see her page.

Did she post gym pics ? Did she post more than that?

You went to her page and tapped under her point at the link leading you to another site with all her links. At the very top, sat a square with the short description of

“18+”

You looked around you and tapped the button and waited for the page to load. Your cheeks flushed. Her banner cropped nicely above her collar bones and below her chest where she showed her arms that were the sole focus of the image.

Her profile photo was a dreadfully common gym pic taken on the dirty mirror near the treadmill section. So effortless yet straight to the point of who she was. She knew what her followers wanted, you included. The illusion that she was just your next door neighbour and this your private chat that turned raunchy at night. You hesitated around the subscribe button.

Crossing that line came at the average cost of 20.99 per month. You pulled out your credit card and went to make an undercover account and subscribe to her profile. Hell there was probably no chance of this ever going anywhere so there was no harm in you indulging in a little more and having something to look forward to after class, right? Right.

You took another sip of your coffee deluding yourself that this didn't cause your heartbeat to spike an unhealthy amount and blamed the shakiness of your hands to your drink

Subscribed for 1 month

Came the message and there was an automated response from her account in the mailbox.

I knew I’d find you here ;)

This cocky motherfucker. You clenched your cup and started scrolling your eyes widening in surprise. There were some posts behind a fat paywall starting at 50 euros going up to 100. You occasionally shrugged one shoulder at the more casual posts and then stopped at one particular image of her with a towel low on her hips, topless with the foggy mirror perfectly censoring your chest. You took a screenshot and decided to go light a candle at the local church next Sunday.

The next photo that stopped you and made you forget that breathing was a necessity was one where she was at the beach with grey cargo pants and a tight white top,sleeveless with a wide cut on her front. The white top ,most importantly, hugged her figure not because of an elastic fabric but because it was wet.

You had never seen more beautiful and well shaped tits. You hated how well it all came together and you hated that the wet top did nothing to hide her pierced perky nipples. Of course there were 389 comments below that pic all thirsty and all equally delighted at this new found discovery that Abby had piercings.

You shook your head and exited her page crestfallen and horny. What a powerful combination. Why did you ever even consider having a chance? You were no different from all the other fans flocking to her page and your reaction to those pics were no different than a mans. You crossed your arms and buried your head in the small dip between your body and hands, fighting back tears and thoughts. Reasonably you knew that Abby did not mind how her followers viewed her as you found her often responding to those comments with her very own bold and flirtatious way. You knew that and yet it was hard to undo years of shame for your nature and Abbys sudden radio silence didn't help

_____________

It was ready. You had never worked with so many materials for something so big before but you were proud to say that the knight armor you crafted was stunning and it was a perfect fit on you. With the release of a new game you Wanted to for once be on time with a costume to wear and take some photos. Besides, it was the least you could’ve done with the company giving you early access to the beta of the game a year ago and now sending you the collector's edition free of charge. You snapped a few pics in your bedroom which in itself was fitting of the whole romantic knight fairytale theme. You tried to film a few videos and tried to post on every platform you had and once you were done with that you tossed your phone aside and went to prepare the house for the weekly sleepover that you and your friend group had

Cassie: Hey babe sorry I’m late,Just go in the bus <333

Rick: Do we have the stuff ? Should I bring mine?

You checked a box near your makeup station and opened to see how much you had left. Definitely enough for 2 cigarettes

No need. I got it

June: Open the door shitface I've been buzzing for 10 minutes

Stay there and freeze to death

Came your response and lowered the volume of your music to realize that Indeed June was here. You leaped to your door and buzzed her in leaving the door open to go take off the armor. You tried not to get impatient and ruin it in the process of taking off every garment. The door slid open wider and then shut closed. June was huffing in pain and rested her hand in front of your bedroom watching you change in spite and anger.

“You hate us all and that's why you live in a place without an elevator”

“Nice to see you too” you said with a smile and she hopped over to your side to give you a quick and tight hug

“How are you doing?”

“Shitty but what's new. Someone has to entertain the group chat with their misery” June laughed and walked out of your room to the living room and plopped down on the couch tossing her bag on the floor and grabbing your controller to change the music and connect to her account. She let phone music fill the halls and got up again waiting for you to finish changing.

You quickly threw on a baggy pair of sweatpants and a crop top and walked out with her “So should we order coffee or a drink?”

“Way ahead of you, Cassie got us our usual already and she told me she is almost here”

Few minutes later the buzzer went off and in came Rick “That’s it. I’m giving up on love. She hates me. She absolutely hates me” Behind her Cassie followed with a cardboard containing all of your coffees yelling at her from the staircase all the way to your apartment

“Will you stop it?! She literally told you to meet tomorrow! TOMORROW!”

“Yes but her tone-“

“Her tone was neutral” Rick huffed out upset and went to sit in the living room

“I take it you have updates for us with your infinite crush?” Rick sulked and grabbed her phone to start reading out loud her latest conversation while occasionally laughing at her own jokes.These get-togethers started by happening once every two months to now happening almost every day as your friend group grew close and it always helped you feel lighter and more chipper. Your phone went off with a notification and you nearly screamed.

Staygrounded69: hey

“SHE texted me. Wow I really thought I was about to get ghosted for good”

Everyone snapped their head at you

“What are you waiting for then ? Answer!!” Cassie urged you on with an excited smile. You shot up and went to your kitchen needing to be away from the others as not to embarrass yourself any further

Whats up

You free to hang out for a game?

You hit your head on the table and groaned out loud. Your friends expressed a mess of concerned sentences all asking you in their own way what happened.

“SHe wants to call and play a game”

“GO FOR ITTTTT GO GET SUM GIRL” June screamed and you shook your head

“No I won't cave in that easy”

In the distance you heard Cassie tease “Sure that you won’t do, but having her Onlyfans pic as your lock screen is not above you” and you would have given her a jab on the ribs but decided against it and went type a response

I’m not alone.

Oh?

I have company tonight but we can still chat or something?

Unless you only wanted to play a game then we can hangout tomorrow…

It was embarrassing how desperate for her attention you were. She used at best 3 syllables and here you were meeting the word limit in a school essay. You saw the three dots appear and disappear as Abby considered her response. You leaned back on the stool and checked your nails,pressing at the skin around them mindlessly.

Works for me, how was your week?

She asked and you felt your heart beat loud in your chest and cold sweat run over you. You could not entirely grasp why her giving you the attention that you craved so badly made you so nauseous and so anxious but you brushed it off to you simply having a crush that intense

It was something. Classes were ridiculously slow

Right. You’re still in college ?

Last year but yeah..I study fashion design.You aren’t?

Oh no I still am. Which is why I still vanish. Classes are A true pain in the ass

You smiled,warmth spreading all over your body. You were pacing in the kitchen while exchanging back and forth meaningless info about your day and your general life. You were surprised to know she was the same age as you but that was about as many similarities as the two of you had but that did nothing to falter either interest in the conversation.

Oh Alice just came.

Give her a pat from me <3

And in came a photo. You opened it without hesitation and were quick to keep your finger pressed on the image processing what was in front of you. Alice was comfortably seated between Abbys thighs and her head was snuggly pressed on her leg looking up at the camera. Now whether Alice was in the image or not it didn't matter cause your eyes were stuck on the fact that Abby was only in a black pair of boxer briefs and she did nothing to divert the camera lens away from that fact.

Her arm was starched out patting Alice’s head, her veiny hand on display. You fixated on those long calloused fingers and you almost moaned just at the thought of what they could do.You hated that you couldn’t take a screenshot and cursed igs safety feature of showing the other party when someone did that. You exited the image and tried to think of an answer.

Damn. She is almost in frame

Don't blame me for your wandering eyes babe

You smacked your head on the table with a loud thud and it rumbled in protest,

“You alive cotton?!” Rick called out and the rest chuckled. You checked the time and noticed you had been talking with her for a good two hours at this point and despite wanting to continue the conversation you had to join your friends at some point

“Yeah gimme a few”

Shit You almost made me blush

Almost? Damn. Better luck next time

She said and you let out an awkward half laugh half sigh not believing what you were reading and how well this had gone. You bounced your leg in distress. You were beyond aroused by this attitude. Be it the photos, or her attempting to make a pass at you, you could feel the inevitable burn and ache in your core. You let out a scream and heard a glass fall and rick cough

“The hell?!”

“What happened?!”

“I’m gonna kick you for that what the fuck”

Came their voices in startled unison

Well Ill have to leave you high and dry. My friends are calling me

Go have fun. Talk to you tomorrow ?

Sure :)

They ran into the kitchen expectant and you let out a mumbled

“She said talk to you tomorrow”

You were sure you had lost 89% of your hearing capabilities from their cheerful screams.

____________

At precisely 4 am you decided to give up on sleep and left the living room trying to step around the bodies sleeping on the floor amongst the pillows and blankets going to your bedroom for some privacy. The ache was persistent and you had to do something about it. You locked the door and unlocked your phone going straight to Abbys Onlyfans. There was a message there

A video behind a paywall. A paywall of 250 euros with the caption “was thinking of you” and right below the video was a separate message

You closed your eyes the minute your fingers slipped and purchased the video. A video unlike anything else on her profile where she wore a sleeveless baggy t-shirt and the same boxer briefs you saw on that photo she sent you earlier that evening. She was sitting on her gaming chair with her legs spread and the camera was placed on the bottom cropping her face out. You watched as her fingers teased the waistband and in came her voice

Were you thinking of me?

It was lower, suggestive unlike how she usually talked. You pressed your thighs and pushed your back against the bedframe falling deeper between the pillows. Your hand laid comfortably on top of your tummy an inch away from the elastic band of your sweatpants. You circled the area hesitating to delve deeper but when you saw Abby initiate the notion by slipping her hand beneath her underwear you did the same, your body having a mind of its own.

Are you touching yourself for me baby?

She asked and you almost let out a breathless quiet “yes” but all that came out was a pathetic whimper. You mirrored her circular slow movements and hated how painfully slow she went about it and as if she knew exactly what you thought she added

Are you getting impatient ?

You bit your lip trying to hold back a moan. Her voice reeked of sex and the eroticism of her moves drove you insane. Your head was spinning and when you dared to outpace her you heard a very low breathless sigh come from the video and echo in your head. The video ended there and your eyes shot wide open in disbelief. You checked the time. It was a 3 minute video.

Fuck

You thought and closed the tab leading back to the chat on onlyfans. A new message was there

-Enjoyed it cotton?-

Fucking fuck

[oblivious-troll]

Because I'm not gonna have time to finish the art for Mermay, here's a Jalim Mer idea I wrote down in an hour and didn't reread/edit. It's 4am. Don't judge me too harshly, lmaoo

Mer au idea- Siren Salim and Merman Jason

(Under cut cuz it's kinda long?)

The two demihuman sea creatures (Numbered 19112 and 10119 for short) have been seen interacting on underwater cameras and occasionally relaxing together on land, a sight very rare for the two territorial and conflicting species.

Both Marine Biologists and Ichthyologists take interest in the unlikely friendship of the two species... Until they realize through certain behaviours (modified slightly from what is typically seen in Sirens and Merfolk, changed to best suit their partner of a different species) that they're actually mated. Catching the two grooming each other on the beach via a drone camera was a huge discovery for the marine life community, it even earns the unknowing pair a fan base online of people who regularly check in on them by using sites that safely track and document them.

-

Jason doesn't like the growing crowd of humans that always seem to just show up whenever he's trying to relax with his mate on the beach or is sunbathing with him on a rock. Whatever happened to humans knowing the keep their distance? He feels like it's disrespectful to Salim especially, he's a siren for Neptune's sake, a creature from the deep-sea who could drown them all without lifting a claw if he so chose to!

Salim's annoyed by the humans too, but only because it irritates Jason. He's unbothered so long as they keep their distance, and a short growl or bluffed lunge is usually enough to get the stupid ones to back away again.

-

But of course too much attention always has a down side. People forget how dangerous they are just because they only hear reports of their domestic behaviours, the gentle side which is reserved just for each other. They don't hear how they regularly take down and eat things like crocodiles, sharks, and other large sea predators for food and to protect their territory.

It takes one guy thinking he's special enough to approach them, and of course he's attacked despite trying to talk to them with his hands out like they're going understand the human gesture and he 'means no harm'.

Jason attacks first, more awake then Salim who was half dozed off while Jason groomed his hard to reach scales. It jolts Salim awake who doesn't join at first despite wanting to, Jason growls at him to stay away, humans are far less likely to hurt a merfolk then a siren- they kill sirens for far less, and Jason's not really in any danger, he can easily take a human down.

Salim watches carefully, claws digging into the sand for leverage, ready to pounce at a moment's notice, his long tail deceptively efficient at moving across sand. He sees a glint of silver as the human falls down on his back, scrambling back and kicking up sand as he grabs the dropped metal. He swips his hand and Jason winces- The smell of his mates blood kicking Salim's instincts into overdrive.

Salim lunches forward with gnashing teeth, claws easily piercing through the armourless skin of the human. He downs the man in seconds, tail snaking around and squeezing to keep him still, biting out chunks of whatever limb flails out to try and fruitlessly get Salim off him.

He doesn't know much on how the human body works, but years of hunting large predators has taught him that most things die if you squeeze them hard enough.

Salim looks away when Jason snarls, not letting go as he follows Jason gaze behind him. More humans approaching, holding black steel pointed at him.

There's a loud booming sound and a smoke smell before Salim feels a piercing burn in his pec, two others following that don't pierce but leave deep gashes across his chest. Salim holds on, baring teeth despite the heavy gushing of maroon blood from the one wound that burns inside his body- It feels like Jason described his experience accidentally injesting poison as a young mer, but it makes no sense, Salim's species is immune to poisons.

Eventually he has to drop the human, unsure if they're dead or not, he can't keep up the strength in his tail or arms as his upper body collapses sideways into the sand, soaking up a dangerous about of blood. His vision is fuzzy, using what remains of his strength to reach out for Jason- a thin vial with liquid hitting his forearm and jamming it's way through tuff scales slowly injects its contents and moments later he's out like a light.

Jason watches with horror as Salim completely goes limp, throwing every sign of aggression he can at the humans, bared teeth, flaired fins. He snarls and hisses as he drags himself over to Salim, getting into a protective position over his mate. His forearm had been sliced pretty bad by the silver weapon in the unconscious human's hand, but he's not going down until every last bastard that hurt Salim is dead- and if Salim dies, Jason will kill every human he ever lays his eyes on again.

He's not given the chance to, taking two of those vial things to the shoulder and collarbone, whatever the hell's in those things is potent because Jason can hardly blink a few heavy times after their injected before collapsing on top of Salim

-

Jason wakes up in a large space that smells off, in that there are no familiar scents of the ocean. The first thing he does is scramble over to Salim, checking him over carefully, his chest is wrapped up in some human cloth, stuck to his skin and Jason's afraid to take it off. He still smells blood on him but it's faint, his heartbeat and lungs are strong though, a great improvement from the beach. When enough time passes and he knows they're alone and Salim will live, Jason explores the area slowly and cautiously, not wanting to leave Salim too far when he’s still injured. He bumps hard into an unseen barrier multiple times, explores sand that's too clean, there are only small fish and snails- nothing sufficient to eat, especially for Salim who needs a lot more for his powerful tail.

What happened? Where the hell are they?

----

- They've been moved to an aquarium that specializes in rescuing, rehabilitating, and eventually releasing various marine life. This isn't the first time they've had a merfolk, but it's the first time an alive siren has ever been in human hands.

The scientists would be Clarice and Eric, Rachel and Nick would be security guards. Idk what I'd do with Dar, Joey, or Merwin yet?

Maybe I'd make Dar a belligerent/annoying reporter trying to get Jason and Salim put down for attacking the man on the beach or something because there's always someone who thinks it's the animals fault (even tho they were provoked) and it's unsafe for them to be released now they have 'a taste for human blood' or some bs... Anyone feel free to give ideas

(Add this to the ever growing list of stories to one day do after 'Twisted Love' 🙃)

[z479]

██✢██

The radio is: ON

Z-479 is: In the Blacksite

Somewhere within UrbanShade a light appears. The attached radio crackles to life in it's charging cradle as the voice of a man in his mid to late 20s comes through.

"Z-479 checking in! It's boring down here as always! No sign of Z-13 yet, but next time I'd love to come down here alone...."

This blog will contain blood, gore, violence, and possibly suggestive topics.

This blog is 18+

OOC below the cut:

Mod is 18+, I go by Lash/Lashy and any pronouns are fine. I've been rping on an off tumblr for 10+ years

I follow from my main @lashydsdomain my main is 18+.

Do not follow my main if you are a minor or don't have an age visible.

Any interaction (Oc, OOC, canon, other fandoms, ect.) is welcome.

You dont need images to rp with me!

Please only DM me if you're wanting to plan something for rp/ask something OOC you don't want answered publicly. If you message me trying to rp in DMs I will redirect you to this post.

Things to keep in mind for this blog:

• Z-479 while under orders to not attack anyone other than Z-13, will still attack (and is happy to do so) if provoked.

Z-479's file

My own art will be posted here. Please do not use it for AI, don't take credit for my art or post it anywhere without permission.

Ref for the Idiot:

The black site banners were made by me! Feel free to use them just make sure you credit me somewhere (@ my main)

Might change things here if anything comes up, but that's all for now.

[fainthedcherry]

When I was a child in 2013, visiting Nickelodeon's site and finding a treasure-trove of Spongebob, Winx and TMNT flash games was like magic to me. BUT MAN. The TMNT flash games are one of the best ever to me I've played in my life. (on an aesthetic stand-point! Turtle Tactics and Dark Horizons are so awesome man, legendary flash games to me.)

Since I am utterly autistic about 4 green alien turtles and their rat dad...Here we are again. With me posting OC cringe 2016 me would've killed myself over :V (cry about it 11 yo/ me, afraid of cringe culture back then, it's DEAD NOW)

Gonna sneak-post my redo of that ancient drawing I did of Alex 2 years ago, for the base-post : D

2 years ago, I used flashpoint to replay it for the first time in years and I remember crying of glee LOL (I still play Dark Horizons and turtle tactis to this day btw). I played Dark Horizons and Turtle Tactics and also TMNT: Throw Back (NO I DID NOT NAME THIS LIKE A MEME THIS IS ITS NAME. I STILL BURST INTO LAUGHTER LIKE A CHILD OVER THE NAME AGING POORLY DUE TO INTERNET LINGO)

Those 2 flash games are just so...Technically advanced?? For its time?? LIKE A FULLY FLEDGED 3D FLASH GAME WITH UNITY ENGINE BASIS? DAMN. And then Dark Horizons? CHEF'S KISS I LOVE THAT GAME SO MUCH. AESTHETICALLY AND THE COMBAT FEELS RLLY NICE TO ME IMO, AND JUST...Everything about THAT flash game, god TIMELESS CLASSIC I COULD YAP ON FOR HOURS ABOUT THIS NO JOKE.

I am enthralled by the designs and art of Dark Horizons, it's why I made this drawing. The game just..Speaks to me on so many levels. IT'S JUST SO PLEASING TO SEE ALL THE ARTWORK I EXTRACTED. As far to my knowledge- it never got released, so I might make a post of just a few favourites I liked from the game. :D

I just wonder if I can post those in the first place, it's after all, not my artwork, from a flash game, and TMNT, so yeah, legal IP and stuff. I unfortunately don't know who the artist if of the flash games, but if I can find that out via googling or digging for credits in the game or the files, I'll see if I can credit them, so that posting will be fairly accredited!!

OH YEAH RIGHT ALSO QUICK BANTER ABT ART SORRY I AM VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT THOSE FLASH GAMES AS YOU CAN TELL,,,

I studied the in-game sprites for a good few hours back then, and did my best to replicate it to the best of my abilities!! I think Mushu maybe could've been done better looking back at it, but I think it was the best that I could do back then. :D Plus, I remember being really happy, excited and proud of this piece, as it reflected something, my childhood self always wanted: For Alex to like.."fake" being an official character LOL. I had sooo many dreams where Alex was hanging out with the turtles and Ninjago and throwing in Power Rangers for good measure, just...Everything I liked as a child, I somehow connected in my dreams via either "OH YEAH THE RAINBOW FAIRY!" or "OH YEAH SUDDENLY PORTAL AND MY MARY-SUES JUST BRAVE IT WHILST THE OFFICIAL CHARACTERS DRAMATICALLY TELL THEM NOT TO GO"

^I had vivid and....Creative dreams as a child to say the least, sometimes even Darth Vader and Eggman appeared as the bad guys, despite TMNT and Power Rangers and Ninjago w/ the snakes and lord Garmadon or however you spell him (I never checked + I'm German so ofc his name might be different in english)- I- do I have to go on about the dreams I FULLY remember I had, as a 6-9 yo/, until I told myself at 10 how embarassing my dreams are and stopped doing so? I DIGRESS. I..Need to be more professional in these, instead of such pure fandom trash oml, I feel bad for whoever actually has to read through my blatant autistic interests as a child and thinking "wtf is he on about" dfgklfdg

ANYWAY NEKST POST IS THE BASE. I SWEAR. SORRY I LOVE RAMBLING

[cwritesforfun]

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader: One Bed One Heart

Prompts: "Person A cannot believe Person B is actually scared after watching a horror movie." & "Reader/Character can't sleep, but heard that cuddling with a loved one makes it easier to fall asleep"

prompts from @imagining-in-the-margins - thx!

Y/N - Your Name & I Do NOT Own the Criminal Minds characters**

Spencer's POV

To say I have a crush on Y/N is an understatement. I genuinely think I am in love with her. She's like the perfect girl - the perfect balance of talkative, passionate, quiet, understanding, intelligent, driven, beautiful, and witty. She's drawn me into her life and made me want to learn every possible thing about her. Penelope and Derek know about my crush, so basically everyone on the team, but Y/N knows.

I spent the plane reading next to Y/N who napped on my shoulder, and then we were squished in the back seat of the SUV together. She joined the team one year ago and because she’s only 1 year older than me, we tend to gravitate toward each other and have a lot in common. I spend time with her in most cases because she’s great with other authority figures and piecing things together with the police or victims. I don’t mind spending time together one bit especially because JJ is usually occupied and it gets lonely at the station.

We just arrived at the hotel because we all needed to change before heading out to the police station and the homicide site. We were recommended to be ready to run and blend in. Hotch passed out the keys and told me that I was sharing with Y/N because Derek is slightly contagious with some sort of flu. My opinion is that Derek shouldn’t be on the case, but he’s at the end of his flu. He will be masked up for the first day or until Hotch approves it.

As I tie my shoes in the room with ONE BED, I almost combust from nervous energy. 1, I have to share a room with Y/N. 2, I have to share a bed with Y/N. This trip is shaking my world up too much right now.

Y/N exclaims, "So, are you excited to be in Columbus, Ohio?" I answer, "Not really since it’s for work, I wish we were here for fun. Did you know the Columbus Museum of Art has The Mediterranean by Monet and Picasso's Still Life with Compote and Glass?" She answers, "I did not know that. Did you know that the Columbus Aquarium can fit 90,000 gallons of water?" I answer, "I did and they have a 76-year-old Aldabra tortoise there." She replies, "That's amazing."

We continue to talk to the cars.

Y/N's POV... 1st Night in Ohio

We just got back from working on the case and I'm so tired. I just got out of the shower and Spencer is standing near his suitcase.

I exclaim, "You know I don't mind you sleeping in the same bed as me, right? I don't know how you and Morgan decided who got the bed, but we can share. We're both pretty small and can fit." He laughs and says, "Morgan always put me on the couch, so I appreciate this." I laugh and say, "Imagine sharing with Prentiss and JJ. It was the ultimate sleepover every night, but it simultaneously made me crave my own bed even more. I want and need alone time sometimes.” He lays down, laughs, and says, "That is completely understandable."

We talk for a bit and we go to bed when we both yawn.

Next morning...

I stand next to Morgan and sip the coffee that Spencer just handed me before he went off with Prentiss to cross-check their notes. Morgan asks, "So you and Reid, eh?" I ask, "What about it?" He answers, "He's been watching you a lot this morning like more than usual. He made you coffee the way you like it. You two seem happy and we're on a case, so something has to be off." I ask, "So people aren't allowed to be happy?" He answers, "Yeah they are, but not on a homicide case." I wait for him to put his cup of water to his lips before I say, "We slept together." That causes Morgan to choke on his water and start coughing. Hotch asks, "Everything okay, Morgan?" Morgan answers, "Yes. Water just went down the wrong pipe." Hotch replies, "Morgan and Y/N, behave and get ready to check out the first site. You head out in 5." I'm never picked for checking out the sites. According to Hotch after a month of working with the BAU, my skills lie in working with authority figures or victims' families because I seem in charge and also empathetic. Hotch either trusts me a lot today or just needs to get rid of me. THAT NIGHT

We just got back to the hotel and I'm so damn tired. I hear my name and see Hotch. I walk over and say, "Yes sir? You called my name." He exclaims, "I just wanted to talk with you about today before you went to bed." I nod and he continues talking, "I don't know what you did with Reid and Morgan today. But, they were on top of everything whenever they were with you and we made huge progress on this case, so thank you. I have no idea what gave you that productive push today, but it was great to see… When you joined the team and throughout this year, I know you’ve asked me a lot about how you can get closer to the team and how you can be the best agent you can. I know being a part of this team, you feel like you have to make sure everyone is okay and that they are okay at all times. But it’s okay to not solve other’s issues for them. I also don't want you to neglect how you feel to try to fix them. I see you downing coffee in the mornings and holding back in conversations with us recently. Everyone on the team likes having you on the team, so it’s okay to just be yourself and to open up to someone you are comfortable with. I know it can be hard to open up to others and to be your authentic self, but I just want you to be okay. I also have to ask, are you okay?" I answer, "I am okay. Frankly, sir, I thought you were going to reprimand me for how I acted today. I got Reid talkative and filled with coffee, and then I caused chaos at the police station with Morgan. I felt horrible with how I acted today." He replies, "You and Morgan were loud, but it was not chaotic. Reid was talkative, but I've seen him talk a lot more. It was manageable. Neither acted unprofessionally, so no I don’t mind how they acted. You acted professionally and were a hard worker today. I have nothing about your work ethic to complain about.” I reply, “Okay. Well then thank you for checking on me and I will try opening up to someone on the team.” He half smiles and says, “Good then that’s where I’ll leave you for tonight. It looks like Reid is waiting for you by the elevator.” I nod and tell him good night.

I make my way to Reid and say, “Thanks for waiting for me.” Reid says, “Yeah of course. I didn’t want you to have to walk to the room alone, especially after an intense conversation. I know conversations with Hotch can make me feel overwhelmed, I don't know about you. There is also a serial killer on the loose targeting young women. Enough about that, is everything okay?”

We get in the elevator and I answer, “Yeah Hotch was just worried about me. He said that for me to be the best I can be and improve my job, I should trust the team more and be myself. I know I should, I just get scared sometimes. He also said that today was very productive and I was on top of my work." He replies, "You were... if you ever need to talk to anyone, feel free to talk to me. I'm here for you, if you ever need anything." I reply, "Thank you, Spencer."

TIME SKIP... END OF THE CASE - Spencer's POV

Team Dinner has been something that I either dread or love. We've been out all together for 2 hours and I'm tired. Morgan, Emily, and JJ are going out after this. They're trying to convince everyone else to go out too. Another reason that Y/N is my dream girl. She does not want to go out tonight with the rest of the team to drink.

After dinner, we decided to come back to the hotel and watch a movie. She said there were Halloween movies on Freeform every night until Halloween this October. We both shower, change into pajamas and turn on the hotel tv. The first movie is Hocus Pocus, which is very fun. We switch around station to find another movie and we find some horror movie.

As we watch the horror movie, Y/N cuddles into my side, which I don't mind. I actually really like it. I feel like I'm keeping her safe. I exclaim, "I'm personally shocked you find this movie scary." She jokingly hits my arm and says "Well I am. I don't like the reality of it. I prefer horror movies that feel like they wouldn't happen. We see real-life horrors during work and it makes you look at movies differently." I nod, and reply "I can turn it off, you know?" She answers, "But I know you love Halloween and I don't want you to miss out on the movie. I can tell how into it you are, so we can watch until the end." I smile and say, "Okay, only if you keep cuddling with me." She smiles and I pull her closer.

When the movie finishes, I see that Y/N fell asleep. I flick off the lights and lie there thinking. Honestly, the ending of that was a little sad. The main character's love interest survived the whole movie only to die by natural causes a week after the story was resolved. I know I haven't told Y/N about my feelings for her, but what if she were to die? What if I never tell her? I have to now.

I feel her move on my chest and she moves off my chest to her pillow. I whisper, "Could we cuddle tonight?" She whispers, "Oh I thought you would get too uncomfortable." I whisper, "No I was fine. Besides, Did you know that the heart rhythms of co-sleeping individuals not only do independent heart rhythms appear in the same relative phase for prolonged periods, but also that their occurrence has a bidirectional causal relationship?" She moves off of me and asks, "Spencer, it's way too late. I have no idea what any of that means. What are you trying to say? I answer, "I ... uh I was trying to say that when people sleep in the same bed, their heart beats sync up. So... kind of like this one bed has one heartbeat... The end of the movie kind of made me sad and I feel safe around you. So I thought if we cuddled, I would feel safe and my heart would feel as calm as yours to sleep." She replies, "I see. Then before I lay down to cuddle, are you in a comfortable position?" I answer, "Yeah I am." She then lays down and I wrap my arm around her. We soon both fall asleep.

Sources (it's a Spencer fic... yeah there are sources):

https://www.columbuszoo.org/animals/aldabra-tortoise

[commando-rogers]

I know little ol me does not get much traction on this site and I’ve been reblogging PLENTY about the WGA/SAG-AFTRA strikes, but I keep seeing people confused about this online and irl so I just want to say:

As of now, the unions have NOT asked us to stop watching content. You can (and should!) keep watching and streaming your favorite shows and movies.

Now, I’m not a member of either union (though I hope to join SAG in the coming years if I get lucky, and maybe WGA is in my future if I get off my butt and write!) so I am not an authority on this, nor do I have all of the information. I could be mistaken on some of this, so those with more knowledge feel free to correct me! But I do know for a fact that the unions have not asked us to boycott watching shows.

The purpose of these strikes is to stop providing LABOR to the AMPTP (the gross weird mafia-like conglomeration of studios such as Netflix, Warner Bros, the like), not to stop watching.

Part of the issue with the proposed contracts from studios is the fairness of residuals (money paid to a writer/actor when their work is aired on TV, released on DVD, sold to a network, etc.). If already-aired shows and movies continue doing well, these workers keep getting paid (at least a little, they’re not getting paid for their jobs while striking but the studios cannot withhold residuals). (Of course, it’s messier with streaming services, which is another thing being advocated for in these contracts.)

So keep streaming movies and shows! Keep tuning in on TV if any of you still have cable! Go see Barbenheimer or anything you’d like to see at the theater! Support the art! This is a labor strike, not a consumer boycott. Not only might it help with residuals, but it shows the studios that there is still a demand for content. People are still watching their movies and shows, they still want to pay their subscriptions, and the studios are proverbially shooting themselves in the knee by withholding future content. That’s why this strike will work, that’s why WGA and SAG-AFTRA refuse to back down until their demands are met.

ESPECIALLY with shows that are coming out! Good Omens is one of my favorite shows, and season 2 drops on July 28th. Neil Gaiman, the writer, is very active on tumblr if you’d like to go check out his blog, and he’s being incredibly gracious and helpful answering questions about the strike. And he said the BEST thing we can do for the show is WATCH it. Watch in one sitting! Watch it on loop! We need to demonstrate demand, or the studios will cancel shows, which means artists out of work.

Of course, should the unions come out with a statement and ask us to stop watching, do it. However, that is not currently their wish, nor is it a rule of the strike.

(A note: if you’re like me and hoping to become an actor or writer in the future, this is NOT the time to get your big break. Studios are gonna come looking for nonunion talent to keep productions going. They are exploiting us and our desperation. If you scab and perform labor for a struck company during this strike, you WILL be blacklisted from ever joining the union in the future. Aspiring actors, that featured background gig is not worth kissing your hopes of a SAG card goodbye. Same goes for writers. You may see some SAG work continuing, that is being done under special agreements with the union, for SPECIFIC exceptions. Do your research on every casting call. Do not scab, these union members are fighting for OUR futures in this industry! The worst thing you can do is hurt them and throw your future away.)

Check out the WGA’s website and SAG-AFTRA’s website for more info on strike rules, and things you can do to help. If you want to make a financial difference, the best thing you can do is donate to strike funds. Go to this link and under Strike Assistance you’ll see a number of funds that are being used to help pay writers while out of work, AND to help pay the crew members who are also out of work because of the strike! Worker solidarity! Here is a link to emergency funds for SAG-AFTRA members.

If you’re in NYC or LA, stop by the picket lines! Even non-members are welcome to march, and a great way to help is to show up and hand out water bottles, food, anything you’re willing to donate and help make the picketers’ day just a little easier. And here’s a link to the LA chapter of Democratic Socialists of America. They have information on strike funds, as well as a fund specifically to help buy snacks for picketers! It’s summer, and both NYC and LA are miserable to be marching in the sun all day.

The other way the unions say we can help is by speaking up and voicing your support on social media. An anonymous studio exec told Dateline “The endgame is to allow things to drag on until union members start losing their apartments and losing their houses.” They said the quiet part out loud. You can look up the salaries of these studio execs. It’s tens and hundreds of millions. Then go look up what each union is asking for in their contracts. It’s a drop in the studios’ bucket, but they’re refusing to budge, and they’re showing their complete lack of humanity.

tl;dr: you can and should keep watching shows and movies during the strikes, unless we are told otherwise by the unions. There are other great ways to help! These unions are a huge driving force of American economy, and hopefully these strikes will help garner support for a larger labor movement for all workers to get fair pay.

Thanks for tuning in to my accidentally very lengthy post. But I hope this helps clear up confusion. Share this info with your friends, and voice your support loudly! And for the love of god DO NOT CROSS PICKET LINES!

[sleepimali]

Hi hi, sorry I’ve been super absent, I just wanted to quickly pop in and say my shop closes for the year soon! December 19th is the last day to get your order in if you want anything to be shipped before the year ends. It for sure won’t make it in time for the holidays, but could still be a nice little treat? Maybe. Stickers are still low stock, but I have prints of the Communications series left if you want them (and other fun stuff!) But yeah, I’m seeing family over the holidays and will be out of town, so I will not be able to keep my shop running during that time. Again, sorry I’ve been absent. I’ve had a minor internal implosion with everything that’s been going on, on social media and in the art world, and every time I went back here to check what’s up I saw my notification tab and was like uhhh that can’t be real, so I promptly exited the site. Not a bad thing for the record, I’m super grateful you’ve been blowing up my notifications, it was just so unexpected my brain shut down and I needed to go have a nap. For over a month. (I get overwhelmed easily.) Seriously though, thank you all so much. I hope you’re all having an amazing December! 💛💛💛

[skippyv20]

Fare thee well friends....

Hi Skippy & Friends-This is Pilgrim checking in via another's site. It has taken me days to find a way to get thru to all of you! As you know, I don't have an account on this platform. I only submitted to you via the submit a post button. Skippy, you have been so generous all these years, curating my submissions and letting them be seen here. Along the trail, we have had some interesting revelations as well as tons of fun in the art room. Last week I had a little something I tried to submit as usual, until I bumped into the NEW rules. No one is allowed to accept an ask or post from an anon that is NOT a member on the platform. See that Whoa note saying log in or sign up...that is a big blocking wall. I just have to wonder why this new rule has been implemented here, especially since many are complaining that their posts on major Youtuber sites are not posted or disappear. People are asking very deep questions now and those with solid info are being removed IMHO. Now, I really do believe there is a creeping censorship sifting down to our little pipsqueak level. I wonder if those that run this company are connected somehow to the big chart that TRG has been making...hmmm.

Of course, I visit your site daily and have just seen your stormy message also noticing a difference here. You are right to ask what is going on! This has hit me as a personal sign. It is time to retire to the sidelines and let the many much bigger sites continue the fight for truth concerning the con artist grifter from west LA that has scaled the castle walls with her claws. We have always said she had backers and was part of a much larger scheme. Those huge dancing diamond earrings she proudly wore that matched Maxwell's were gifts from someone back in the day...LOL!!!

I am happy I was able to help push this cart up the hill. So many of those early keen observers must be proud to hear their creative words all over Main Street media now. There should be a list...starting with grifter and word salad!!! Many are only just now taking off their rose-tinted glasses, realizing the massive gaslighting via photoshopping they have been blindly accepting, while drinking gallons of Kool-aide.

Onward! I am already missing sending in cards and art but in reality, it is best I concentrate on my real painting. I need to shake up things at my easel before I can't hold a brush any longer. Trust that I am out here reading your comments, laughing at the adorable and uplifting posts and whispering your prayers. Much love to you Skippy and fellow friends that have become so dear to me. I didn't want you to worry Skippy, because I know you would. We shall see if I pop back in, but for now, I will wait things out as others catch up. Standing by...over and out from Cape Cod. Pilgrim

My dear friend, I am so sorry to see this. It did manage to make it into my asks. I don’t know why Tumblr is doing that, I suspect a glitch. We do have the option of only taking asks, etc with people only in Tumblr. I did a double check and I still show available to everyone. We go through many difficulties here. I still don’t have a functioning “like” button, I still don’t get notification when I get a private message. Others on here have different difficulties. So, I think that is the problem you have been faced with. I certainly understand dealing with frustration at the whole thing though. I think that is great you will focus on your art. You are amazing, and you should follow your gift…even if it’s not with us. I do get comfort knowing that you will still be around, even if I don’t see you! I thank you so much for all your much appreciated contributions. You have added so much to this blog, and have entertained us all the time. I wish you all the very best, I will keep you in my heart and my prayers! I send you love and many hugs!😔❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[gingersnappish]

Hi!

I’m Ginger: artist-nerd, citizen-scientist, make-garden-not-lawn enthusiast, and avid baker-of-cinnamon-rolls-from-scratch! I very much enjoy fandom! What is my weekly fanfic consumption like? High. Very High. Some of my current favs include: Star Wars (especially Kylux), The Witcher (here meaning I saw about an episode and a half of TWN, found the fandom, and wandered happily off towards Lambert and Aiden), LotR, sometimes StarTrek…..assorted others! I am passionate about creating things, too! Often, that means drawing fan art and/or comics. Actually, I’ve found myself stalling intermittently in that department over the past year or so. I’ve been almost exclusively drawing Kylux things using only Procreate, for a while now. Which I love doing! But I suspect doing just that one type of art for going on 4 years now is starting to have an effect of the breadth and depth of my creative well. So I’ve decided to change up how I create for a while! A good friend gifted me a sketchbook IRL and I want to fill it with traditional media drawings. I want to try drawing from more fandoms, try out new digital techniques and styles that maybe I hadn’t allowed myself before. I want to invest some time into art forms besides drawing, even - I’ve always enjoyed fiber arts and I’ve got a jack loom I’ve meant to finish repairing for a while. Once that is working, I want to learn to weave. And I want to share some of these things here! On that note, I suspect more than a few people who follow me on Tumblr are here because I have drawn a lot of kylux. Especially the long-form fan comic ‘Dying Is Easy Young Man, Living Is Harder’. WRT The Comic: Kraken and I are still fully intending to see it to it’s conclusion! Honestly, though, it’s been on unofficial hiatus for a while now and it’s likely to remain that way for a bit longer. Kraken is super busy with retraining and job related demands IRL, and I am also pretty swamped and trying to get back in a more sustainable groove artistically. The whole sitch doesn’t leave us a lot of room to create a big project like DIEYMLIH together, right now. I know firsthand how hard it can be to wait a long time for a story you enjoy to get finished - so I want to say ‘thank you’ to everyone being very patient with us! We will get there eventually! If you want to check if there has been an update or just re-read the kylux comic to-date, the best place to go is the DIEYMLIH Site

If you want more kylux themed stuff in the meantime, I’m still putting my Kylo Amidala and other AU stuff for them on my Patreon

If you want the whole complete collection of my art (kylux or other)…. I'm working on that. I’ve historically been really inconsistent with tags. I'm trying to be better about that and also go back and fix all my personal art so it is consistently tagged. It’s gonna take a while. Eventually!

[stephensmithuk]

The Red Circle

Published in 1911 as a two-parter, this is the penultimate story we'll be covering His Last Bow, leaving just the titular story there.

This does sound rather like "The Veiled Lodger", doesn't it?

These days, you'd have to check the immigration status of your tenants. In 1902, really not an issue. Although anti-immigrant sentiment was definitely there and growing.

Those strange coded personal messages - some even encrypted - very much existed in newspapers back then. Once radio had become a thing, the British would use them on radio broadcasts to Occupied Europe in the Second World to get messages to the resistance movements. Including the "get ready" and "go" codes for the mass sabotage operations that preceded Operation Overlord in 1944.

"Timekeepers" were used for recording arrivals and departures at a site, including that of staff for the purposes of paying wages, determining lateness etc.

Great Orme Street is more properly called Great Ormond Street, located in Bloomsbury. It is best known for the world-famous children's hospital called Great Ormond Street Hospital. They have a permanent UK copyright to Peter Pan which gives them a right to royalties for publications, adaptations, performances etc. The US copyright on the original version expires next year. If anyone wants to do a LfW retelling of the original book, it would be nice to contact them and arrange a donation. They're a very good organisation.

"Art for Art’s sake" was a French slogan from the latter half of the 19th century. You may know its Latin version - ars gratia artis - as the motto of film studio MGM.

The light flashing message gets a whole chapter covering it in Klinger's annotated version, as it's been heavily discussed by scholars. Basically, it would take multiple minutes to send that message.

The Pinkerton detective agency did a lot of investigative work in its early days, both criminal investigation and more nefarious stuff to aid strike-breaking. The latter got the US government banned from hiring them as such in the 1893 Anti-Pinkerton Act. They are still involved in anti-union stuff today.

Much of Notting Hill had become increasingly slum-like by this time as an influx of people led to houses built for one family being split to hold far more; the idea when the area was built was for the middle classes to live there, but they didn't buy the properties. It later attract large numbers of Afro-Caribbean immigrants in the post-war era, partly as the notorious slum landlord Peter Rachman was prepared to rent to them while others weren't. This growing ethnic tension culiminated race riots in 1958, with white "Teddy Boys" attacking West Indian homes. Since then, the slums have been cleared and the area has gentrified quite a bit.

It is also home to the annual Notting Hall carnival every August since 1965 (bar 2020 and 2021), which around 2 million people attend. The Metropolitan Police have moved from active hostility to active cooperation in its running and there will be photos of officers dancing with those in the parade at any given carnival. The reputation for violence is unjustified and arguably fuelled by racism - while there were frequently arrests for violence, drugs and weapons offences, on a pro-rata basis, the arrest rate is about the same as the Glastonbury Festival.

The Carbonari ("charcoal makers") were secret revolutionary societies active in what would become Italy in the early 19th century. After failed uprisings in 1831, the various Italian governments cracked down hard on them and they were effectively eliminated. They were not really engaged in protection rackets.

Dynamite was patented by Alfred Nobel in 1867. Being a good deal more stable than nitrogyclerine - although storage is important as old dynamite is a good deal less stable - it became popular for terrorists and criminals, with a series of bombings by Irish republicans between 1881 and 1885 leading to the formation of Special Branch.

Covent Garden is home to the Royal Opera House.

[literallyjusttoa]

Hi! I started reading toa and I love it so far, I found your blog and I really like it! but I've been having a hard time finding a lot of fandom content, could you recommend me some toa blogs that you know please?

Ok so number 1: @ukelele-boy. Guys ukeleleboy is so cool. If you want some incredible art and really cool hc you should definitely follow them. 

@sierice is another blog I would definitely recommend. I swear she manages to find every post related to ToA on the site lol. She’s also the accidental creator of Polldona!

Speaking of collections of ToA stuff on tumblr, @the-toarchives is collecting all the ToA content on tumblr, so definitely check it out!

I adore @heresronnie21 ‘s art, and all of their headcanons about Apollo. Seriously one of my favorite artists in the ToA space. 

@flzzypop is also such a good ToA fanartist!!! They’ve said they’re taking a bit of a break from ToA related stuff, but you should still absolutely give them a follow bc their art is just so cozy and wonderful.

I just love @trials-of-apunllo. Like it’s so good.

@txny-dragon has such adorable art, I smile everytime I see it. Also they're running the apollo ship tournament right now and I am so hyped for that.

@ferodactyl Is, as stated in their blog description, the CEO of Sunflower Sibs. Fero's art is amazing, their writing is stellar, and they've organized a whole bunch of events for the ToA fandom over the years. Honestly I don't think the ToA fandom would be what it is today without Fero.

@choconoru does art of the riordanverse in general, and all of it is beautiful and I love it. Their most recent piece of Lester is literal gold!

Another great fanartist is @moodyseal !!! She's been around for a while and her art is always sucha treat. I love her AoD design it's beautiful

Another og is @flightfoot . As she's said, she's more posting about Miraculous Ladybug now, but I followed flightfoot when I first started looking into the ToA fandom which was years ago. To me, Flightfoot is a fandom pillar, and definetly a blog you should check out.

I'm not going to lie I know there are many more blogs to recommend but I feel like I just haven't reached out enough to know them all ahhh. If any of my fellow ToA blogs want to reblog this with their own recommendations I would be thankful!!

[callsign-bunnie]

Omg I'm late but fnaf??? Fnaf pls???

Okay, so I am going to make art for this. But... I had no motivation to draw. I did, however, have the motivation to write. This was going to be one part. A... one shot if you will.

This part, alone, is over 5k words.

Ask for part 2 if you want it.

--

It had started with a post on a “less than legal actions” forum.

Rodolfo had found himself a frequenter on Deep Web forums. It wasn’t the place the media sensationalized it to be and… he had a few coping habits that got fueled by some of the substance websites on there. There was no better way to find the drugs he needed than some weird guy selling on a site called “Powders, Pills, and Concoctions” with a marijuana leaf next to it.

He had almost laughed when he saw it, believing it was probably bullshit. I’m a 19 year old, looking for other 19 year olds to break into the old Unquatrun Pizzeria with me. It was stupid! Rodolfo had just rolled his eyes and clicked out of it, moving on to the homework he had from Uni.

But then… it’d gotten stuck in his brain. Like a gnat, buzzing around, he’d found himself thinking about it three days later. He knew why he’d been drawn to it… Why his mind kept going back to it… The pizzeria was calling him, demanding he find out what had happened to his best friend.

Hey, so if this is bullshit, whatever. But… I can help you break in. The only response when he’d checked a few days later. Finally, he’d let himself check out the profiles. A soap bar was the profile picture of the original poster. He even referred to himself as Soap. He was like Rodolfo, apparently, and had even been on the previously mentioned drug site, having gotten hooked on pain meds when he was getting treated for cancer. 

The other guy was someone who apparently claimed to have first hand experience with the pizzeria on another post about it. He called himself Alex and apparently he’d been having nightmares about the place since he was 14. 

Even still, Rodolfo hadn’t found himself entertaining the idea. 

Until he’d gotten way too high one night and he’d just… migrated to the post and responded that he would go as well. 

Within seconds, he’d been added to a groupchat with the other two.  Are you serious about coming? -Soap

I am. I have my own reasons, but I am.

We’re going next Saturday. Can you make it? -Soap

Yes.

Awesome! What’s your name? -Alex

Rodolfo.

We’ll see you then, Rodolfo. 11:00. -Soap

And here he was. Standing in front of the pizzeria. 

He clenched his hands and then hugged himself, tucking them under his arms in an effort to stop shaking. He’d been, once again, trying to quit. He couldn’t keep living on this uppers in the morning so he could get through the day and downers in the evening so he could sleep… Cocaine and alcohol was his main vice, but he had found others that he kept around for a pinch. 

The building was exactly like he remembered it… Too much like he remembered it. Fuck, the local Pizza Hut looked different in the last five years, but this place was straight out of his memories… Same grey brick building, same red awnings, same Black Panther, Red Fox, and Rainbow Bear on the sign above the front windows and entrance… 

He shook it off as he saw two others approach out of the corner of his eye and turned to them. They were a strange pair. One was significantly taller than both Rodolfo and the other. Blonde and… built. Rodolfo found himself blushing slightly, trying not to look over his body too much. “Hey, I’m Alex.” He half grinned, offering a hand. “Rodolfo, right?”

“Yeah.” Rodolfo nodded and shook his head, trying hard and failing to not notice the scars across his wrist and arms when the sleeves of a black leather jacket rode up. He did look dressed to be breaking in somewhere, wearing a black leather jacket, a Led Zeppelin tee shirt, and dark wash jeans. 

Then, he turned to the other, who was only just slightly taller than him and had a ridiculous mohawk hairstyle. Look, it was the first thing he noticed. The second thing he noticed was how pale he was, how dark his under eyes were. If Rodolfo remembered the post, right, he should only be a year in remission… He had on a baggy hoodie and sport shorts and despite how shit he looked, he had a slightly husky build. “Hey, I’m Soap!” He grinned. “Or, Johnny Mactavish. You two are helping me break into a restaurant, you can know my name.”

“Right.” Rodolfo nodded. “It’s nice to meet you both…” He cringed back, feeling a bit out of place with the other two. He was a lot more put together, wearing brown academia shorts, a sweater, and his boots. He never thought he’d be insecure about not looking like a mess. “So… How are we doing this thing?”

Alex snorted and then something was jingling and Rodolfo’s eye was caught by a flash of silver. He saw Alex get out a set of keys and then he was just marching up to the glass doors at the entrance, which had three promotional posters on them. 

He recognized the three main animatronics on each of them. Ghost, an emo panther who sang mostly kid friendly parodies of 80’s rock. That one was particularly silly. Then there was Mateo, a red fox who could speak Spanish. Alejandro had loved that one… Rodolfo looked away from the poster before the cold could seep into his body. His hands were shaking enough, already. Then, the third, which Rodolfo didn’t get a chance to get a good look at before Alex was swinging open the door, was a Rainbow Bear, named Gaz, apparently after the owner’s kid. He was the main lead of the cast. Of course he was, it was always the bear.

They weren’t the only animatronics, too. There were three more, though one had been decommissioned for four years, apparently, due to a malfunctioning mainframe. 

Alex cursed as the alarm started to go off and then he was running to the back of the restaurant. Rodolfo was starting to wonder just how intimate he was with the place… Soap and Rodolfo stepped inside the restaurant and waited for the alarm to stop. 

“So… Why did you want to break in?” Rodolfo asked before he could really stop himself.

Soap shrugged. “I want a picture with the Panther.” He answered. “A cool picture.”

“Couldn’t you have came in when the daytime? I thought they had a photo booth thing with the characters?” Rodolfo asked, finding the explanation absurd. They were breaking and entering… For a picture??

Soap grinned. “They do, but it’s a man in a suit. I want it with the actual animatronic. I want it with the real Ghost.”

Rodolfo had to refrain from saying that the animatronic wasn’t real. He was just an… animatronic. That was it. Clearly Soap wanted a picture and… well, he couldn’t judge his reasoning too much. Or shouldn’t, because he most definitely was. Whatever. 

Finally, Alex came back to the front lobby, where the ticket desk was. The animatronics were closer to the back, past all of the games and tables. “Sorry, I had to go to the security office and input the code.”

Rodolfo became aware that the alarm was suddenly off and before he could ask how Alex knew the code, Soap was speaking. “That’s alright. Is there a way to get the lights up in here?”

“No. Unfortunately not. They’re on a sensor for the timer.” Alex sighed. “Only the man who owns the damn place has that code.”

“Damn.” Soap sighed, clearly disappointed. “It’s cool. Phones were invented with flash for a reason. Hey, do you think there’s any food? I’m starving.”

Alex shrugged. “I could check. I’m sure they stick leftovers in a fridge or something. Come on, let’s go see.” 

Rodolfo shook his head, wanting at least a few answers. “No. No. Dude, you have keys and the security code. What the fuck??”

Soap frowned and then turned to stare at Alex. “He’s got a point.”

Alex winced and then sighed. “You’re right. But… I don’t know. I found them in my mom’s desk. I didn’t even know she knew the owner of this place until a month ago… I… Apparently she used to co-own it with the other owner? John Price? I didn’t know.”

“How the fuck did you not know that??” Rodolfo crossed his arms, not buying it. You don’t just not know your mom co-owned a pizzeria where four kids went missing. 

Alex winced harder and rubbed the back of his neck. “I… Fuck. When I was 14, I had a really bad head injury. You can see the scars.” He got out his phone and turned on the flashlight, making Rodolfo realize he could only really see because of the streetlights outside. Alex held the flashlight up to his head, revealing what almost looked a puzzle of someone’s head who had been shattered. Fuck. “See?”

Even Soap was cringing beside him. “Anyway, I don’t remember much before… that. Apparently I had a whole other mom that I barely remembered. Fuck, I didn’t even remember that I was adopted. So… that’s how.”

Rodolfo felt kind of guilty, now. “Oh. Sorry.”

“No, it’s alright. I understand how it could seem suspicious. But… I really don’t remember.” Alex sighed and then nudged his head in the direction of the kitchen, behind a buffet bar. “I’ll explain more after we look for food.”

“Fine.” Rodolfo nodded and Soap agreed, beside him. So, they both followed him behind the buffet bar and to the kitchen. Alex was using his flashlight to see, so Rodolfo used that to see as well, sticking close behind. This place… it kind of gave him the creeps. Though, it’d always had. 

Alex got into the fridges in the back of the kitchen. “Bingo.” The fridge he’d opened lit up and revealed a few pizza boxes, which Alex opened and glanced through before pulling out the middle one. “Soap mentioned liking pepperoni.” He glanced back. “What about you, Rodolfo?”

“Pepperoni is fine.” Rodolfo nodded, not having a preference as long as there was no onion. Though, he was pretty sure the pizzeria only offered pepperoni, sausage, bacon, and cheese. The main focus was really on the games and the animatronics. 

“Good.” Alex brought the box over and then he was pausing, going over to a nearby table. “Looks like one of the workers left a speaker.” He set the pizza box down and Soap tilted his head. “Oh, cool.” He fidgeted before something on the table was lighting up. 

It looked like a little camping lantern, though it was fairly bright. Alex shrugged and put his phone in his back pocket before he picked up the little lantern and then he was guiding Rodolfo and Soap out to the restaurant, again, and they found a table.

It was too dark to do much else than make out the animatronics’ vague outline and… a drip of dread rolled down Rodolfo's spine, making his stomach clench. Maybe this was a mistake… well, he was this far along. He jumped and looked at Soap, hearing something rattle. He watched Soap, vaguely lit by the camping lantern, open a pill bottle and then take three of them.

Rodolfo hated the way his hands shook more, the way his mouth salivated, and he looked away, sitting down at the table and opening the box. The pizza wasn’t half bad, he’d admit. Even as a kid… it was pretty good. When Mateo became an animatronic, they rolled out this taco pizza and while it was definitely not Mexican food… it wasn’t too bad. In fact, both he and Alejandro had enjoyed it.

“So, your turn.” Soap spoke up, staring right at him. “You may look put together, but you’re… still here with us. Breaking into a pizzeria and stealing food.”

Rodolfo winced. “Yeah..” He admitted. “I was actually really high when I agreed to do this… It’s… a long story.”

“I’m willing to hear it.” Alex shrugged, sitting next to him and nudging him. “You know… since we’re here.” 

Rodolfo blushed at his close proximity. He was only like this when withdrawing… Normally, boys weren’t even in his mind, but when he didn’t have drugs or alcohol… His mind looked for other destructive ways to cope. “I guess.” He nodded, since he knew the other two’s backstory already. Sort of. Well, he apparently didn’t know more than Alex and Soap… he felt bad about asking a cancer survivor why they liked a kids’ pizza place so much. The answer seemed kind of obvious.

Both of the others were staring at him and he found himself trying to shrink into his seat. But… he took a deep breath, ate a bit more pizza, and then he started. “My best friend loved this place when we were kids… His dad was really abusive and the owner of this place would let obviously troubled kids play games for free… And… it was a place to go to get away from the abuse, I guess. I actually outgrew it rather quickly. Then his dad died… And I guess it was a distraction…

He was really attached to Mateo, actually. Neither of us had any friends who spoke Spanish? So… and this was back before he was an animatronic. So… he really liked having something he could talk to that would respond back in Spanish… We were both second generation immigrants…” Rodolfo fidgeted with his fingers under the table, picking at the scabs he didn’t let heal around his nails. “On his fourteenth birthday… He wanted to have it here and I… we… fought? Over it. I just wanted to grow up… This place creeped me out and I… I was sick of being a little kid… So I didn’t go. He was one of the four kids that went missing.” 

Rodolfo looked down, not wanting to see the other two’s faces. They must have thought he was horrible. God knows Rodolfo did. “I keep thinking… What if I had gone with him? What if I had just… got over myself and gone? Would he still be here? I don’t know.”

The other two were silent. That was fine… He was used to that reaction. 

Finally, he ran a hand through his hair. “It’s stupid. But… I hoped that… maybe I could find out what happened if I came. Maybe… Maybe I’d find him, I don’t know.”

They were still silent and Rodolfo looked at them. Soap’s expression was almost shocked and Alex was looking away, staring down at his pizza. “You… You did it. You made a dude with cancer feel like his backstory wasn’t tragic enough. Congratulations, you are superior.”

Rodolfo snorted, “I feel like cancer-”

“No. I’m in remission.” Soap shook his head. “Damn. I just… the owner paid my hospital bills because I loved this place. I still have a card that lets me basically play for free. It never expires… I feel kind of bad breaking in but… Oh well. But… yeah. I went into remission last year.”

“Is that why you have that ridiculous haircut?” Rodolfo asked, again before he could stop himself, and gestured to the top of his head.

Soap laughed. “Yeah, so… When I had cancer… The only part of my hair that didn’t fall out completely from chemo was… that spot. So, I got it trimmed and kept it like a mohawk. Now… I let it grow crazy a little but… for the most part, I keep it like this. I know it looks ridiculous but… look at me. It’s pretty obvious I was sick… You guys should see my torso under this. It’s… pretty gross. Purple and gray… Surgery scars.. I had lung cancer.”

“Ah.” Rodolfo mumbled, now feeling really bad. Good job, asshole. “Sorry… It’s just…”

“It’s a bit much.” Soap shrugged. “I get it. Trust me. But… who’s gonna tell the kid with cancer that he’s ugly, huh?”

“That’s fair.” Alex finally spoke up, snorting softly. “We’re three peas in a pod, huh? We all have some tragic tie to this place.” He then sighed. “Odd that we found each other, but it makes sense. Who else would want to break in? Oh fuck-” He cursed, suddenly standing. “I left the camera in my car! Shit! Look, I’ll go get it, real quick. You two just stay here. Don’t eat all the pizza.”

“No promises.” Soap grinned and Rodolfo just mumbled that he wouldn’t. They both watched him fade into a vague silhouette, passing through the entrance door thingy and then going to the outside door. Then, he pushed on it and- the door didn’t open.

It was hard to see, but not hard enough that they couldn’t tell that the door didn’t open. Alex appeared to push a few more times before he was backing up and then coming back. “Fuck.” He muttered when he got back. “The doors won’t open.”

“Why not??” Rodolfo asked, another drip of dread rolling down his spine. “You unlocked them, right?” He shared a concerned glance with Soap.

“Well… it’s an old security measure, I’m pretty sure.” Alex winced. “The report I saw… said it was because of the kids that had gone missing. If the system thinks the store has been broken into… it locks down, completely, and won’t open without being unlocked from the outside. So, whoever got in, can’t get out without tripping the alarm somehow.”

“Fuck!” Soap groaned. “So, what? We’re trapped here until morning?”

Alex shook his head. “No. In Price’s office, there’s a place where we should be able to input a code. Then, we have sixty seconds to get out and lock the outside door. We’ll have to use the back door… So… there’s no point in doing it until we’re ready to go.”

Rodolfo was really starting to regret this. “I don’t know, is a picture worth this? Maybe we should just go.”

Soap shook his head. “No. I want that picture. If you two want to leave… fine. I will stay here all night, but I’m getting that picture. I’m… I am.”

Rodolfo stared at him, watching him glare down at the table. Then, he looked up at Alex. “I’m staying, too.” Alex mumbled. “I’ll get the code and let you out but… I’m not leaving. Price’s office should have the incident report about what happened to me. I need to know. I need to know why I can’t remember and my mom… won’t tell me. So, I’m staying.”

Rodolfo furrowed his brows and then he finally turned his head to the stage, where the outline of animatronics could be seen. Dread was steadily dripping down his back, and he would admit that he didn’t like this. But… well, he didn’t want to leave alone. And… he really wanted to find out what happened to his friend. “No. I’ll stay. But can we do this as fast as possible?”

“Yes.” Soap sounded relieved. “Yes, we can. Right, Alex?”

Alex immediately nodded. “Yes. Alright, let’s go up to the stage. I’ll use my phone to get that picture.” He picked up the camping lantern on the table and so Rodolfo and Soap both stood, following him up to the stage.

Rodolfo tried not to tremble as he followed them. That would be mortifying, though maybe he’d just blame it on withdrawal. He knew they had to have caught onto it by now… In fact, it had started to prickle at the sides of his face and he found himself scratching at them, trying to get the prickles to go away. 

“They’re so fucking huge.” Soap said as they finally neared the stage. 

Rodolfo felt small. The animatronics dwarfed him and that feeling was only made more extreme by the stage which was as tall as his waist. He shrank back, hugging himself. They creeped him out, really bad. He hated them. 

Rodolfo jumped back with a yelp as the stage lit up in bright colors and then three spotlights turned on, lighting up the animatronics with stark white light. The lights around the stage were red, blue, and green, and there were stars on the wall behind them. 

“Fuck,” Alex was holding his chest, but Soap was grinning. “I guess they don’t turn off the motion sensors at night. I guess they wouldn’t have to.”

“That’s fucking terrifying.” Rodolfo muttered, hugging himself again. 

Luckily, the animatronics weren’t moving, just staying in their rest modes, which were perfectly plucked from Rodolfo’s memory. Ghost had a microphone which was raised above his head and said head was lifted to look almost like he was screaming into it. Mateo had a hand out, the other hand on his chest, and he looked to be about to belt out lyrics, his mouth open slightly. And Gaz was holding up a peace sign, bent over slightly, and winking. 

The poses were so… human. But so stark. So uncanny. 

Alex and Soap had started to talk about something. It sounded like what pose he wanted to stand in. Rodolfo didn’t particularly care about it, just tuning it out and going over to Mateo, having to cross behind them to do so. 

He didn’t get too close to the stage, but he stood in front of Mateo, staring up at the animatronic. “¿Por qué eras tan especial?” He whispered. “¿Por qué te amaba tanto? ¿Valiste la pena?” Rodolfo didn’t think Mateo was worth it. He didn’t think that stupid fucking fox was worth losing his best friend. 

His hands shook so hard it made his bones ache and he suddenly felt so cold, despite being aware of sweat rolling down the back of his neck. Nausea traveled up his body and he closed his eyes, covering his mouth. He needed to keep his food down… 

Finally, he opened his eyes, glancing over and seeing Soap and Alex were still talking. Soap was gesturing up to Ghost, and Alex was nodding along, his phone out. Rodolfo shook his head and turned back up to Mateo, looking over him again.

That fox had been in his nightmares, taunting him over and over and over. You let him go alone… He’d have come home… if you hadn’t let him go alone… But now you’re alone… Rudy’s all alone… Singing it over and over. 

You let him go alone..

You let him go alone…

You let him go alone…

Rodolfo ran to a trash can, which was close by, thankfully, and threw up, hunching over it as he did so. He grasped the sides of the trash can, trying not to think of how slimy it felt, and panted. His whole body was shaking, and he just felt so cold… 

“Hey, you okay?” Rodolfo lifted up, hearing Alex ask. He turned around, seeing Alex was staring at him. Even Soap looked concerned, though he wasn’t fully staring. Just looking.

Rodolfo nodded. “Yeah. Maybe cold pizza wasn’t the best idea.” He went back over to them, hugging himself again in an attempt to stay warm. “This place is kind of cold, huh?”

“Really? It feels hot to me.” Alex frowned, wiping his forehead. “They turn the AC off at night. It’s a shock the animatronics don’t fucking reek.”

Rodolfo frowned. Oh. He couldn’t feel it at all. Whatever. “So, are you going to get that picture?”

“Yeah, we’re just getting the staging right.” Soap nodded. “I don’t want to have to take too many.”

That was fair. Rodolfo hated having to take pictures over and over. He just let them go back to what they were doing, looking up at the stage, again, and looking over their poses, thinking how funny they were. Ghost was mid headbang, hunched over, Gaz was leaned back, appearing to be singing into his microphone, and Mateo had his microphone to his mouth, appearing to reach for the audience. 

Such silly, simple poses. Again, so human, but so stark… 

Rodolfo finally tore his eyes away and sighed, looking around the rest of the dining area. He paused upon seeing the large rabbit in the corner of the room. That thing just filled him with dread. It was horrid how large it was. 

He’d also seen videos of it moving and it was… too human. It almost reached the ceiling when it stood, and it was based off a velveteen rabbit. Even still, the way it walked was identical to the way his own mother walked which… was supposed to be the point. It was meant to be motherly but it just made Rodolfo nauseous. 

He didn’t even like the way it was sitting, slumped over like the actual stuffed animal might be. 

The funny part was… He’d used to have a velveteen rabbit. It’d been gotten for his older sister, Liliana, but… she’d hated the thing. So, he’d taken over it, since they shared a room. He couldn’t remember what happened to it… 

Rodolfo saw movement in the corner of his eye and quickly looked over, startling when he saw that Alex was helping Soap climb onto the stage. “Woah, woah, what are we doing? I don’t think you should be doing that-”

“Calm down.” Soap shook his head. “They’re deactivated, it’s fine.” He stood once he was up there, going close to Ghost. It made Rodolfo’s heart race, Soap shouldn’t be getting so close.

Soap settled so his back was against Ghost’s torso and Rodolfo tried not to beg him to get off the stage, shaking so hard his vision was getting blurry. He didn’t even think this was a good pose, since Ghost had his head back and you couldn’t even really see his face from that angle, especially with how big the animatronic was.

It dwarfed Soap entirely. Soap barely went mid torso for it. 

It was too big.

You let him go alone.

Rodolfo squeezed his eyes shut, taking deep breaths. “It’s way bigger up close.” Soap was saying.

Alex chuckled. “Yeah, they’re fucking massive. It’s frightening.”

Rodolfo hugged himself tightly in an effort to stop the shaking and forced his eyes to open, watching Alex move so he could get a good picture. “Throw a peace sign or something.”

Soap shrugged, doing as told, and then grinning. “Do I look good?”

“Hell yeah.” Alex nodded, also grinning. 

Rodolfo felt like he couldn’t breathe, trying desperately hard to not throw up again. He wished they’d hurry the fuck up, desperately wanting Soap off that stage. 

Movement out of the corner of his eye.

Rodolfo felt sweat mingle with the dread as it dripped down his back and he slowly turned to look. The velveteen rabbit was sitting up. “G-Guys…” He said, reaching for Alex and staring at the rabbit. 

“Hang on, I’ve almost got the picture.” Alex said. 

Rodolfo forced a breath into his lungs, continuing to stare at the velveteen rabbit. It was meant to look like Red Velvet cake, a joke. It even looked like it had piped cream cheese frosting on it’s head. A red velveteen rabbit.

But… now it only looked soaked in blood. The stage lights became too stark. They were shining in his eyes. He shielded his eyes from the light, blinking and trying hard to remember how to breathe. This was hell…

You let him go alone…

He squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them again, relaxing when he saw the velveteen rabbit was slumped over again. He’d made it up. It wasn’t real. It was just his drug deprived brain tricking him. 

He sucked in a harsh breath and then shook his head, turning back to Soap. “Did you finally get the picture?” 

Soap was now hopping off the stage, still grinning. “Hell yeah.”

Alex held out his phone, showing Rodolfo. He didn’t like the way Ghost was staring at the camera. It felt uncomfortable. Rodolfo just shook his head, however, and sighed. “Awesome. Well… that’s one thing down.”

Soap nodded, and then suddenly tripped as he was climbing down, slamming his hands onto something on the stage.

It was very sudden. The animatronics started to move and ice spiked through Rodolfo’s blood, terrifying him. Even Soap seemed startled, all three of them backing up. “Oh fuck. I think I turned them on…” Soap winced. “Why would they put the on button there??”

“That is an odd spot.” Alex agreed.

“Hi kids.” Gaz was saying, staring right at them. 

They had motion sensors, Rodolfo knew that, but it was still deeply unnerving. Ghost and Mateo were also staring at them… He cringed back. “Turn them off.”

Soap nor Alex did as told. They just kind of watched the animatronics. “I like them.” Soap grinned. “They feel… human.”

“Yeah, that’s the problem.” Rodolfo stepped forward to press the button again, to turn them off, before yelping and jerking back as Mateo was suddenly crouched and in his face. 

“Hi! Remember me?!” Mateo almost appeared to be grinning and Rodolfo really didn’t like that. He tilted his head to the side and stared right into Rodolfo. His eyes were empty, they held no emotion. Just… massive balls of plastic. 

“Remember him?” Rodolfo asked, backing back up to Alex and Soap. He swallowed before continuing, hugging himself. “That’s an odd voice line…”

“They can recognize past visitors.” Soap nodded. “Another security measure, apparently. They hoped that if they saw whoever… took those kids, that they might point them out. It also made them feel more real to the guests.”

Rodolfo bit the inside of his cheek, digging his nails into his sides through his sweater. “Gross.” He muttered. “I don’t like that…”

Alex frowned. “Wait, but have you been here since your friend went missing?”

Rodolfo paused. “No. No, I haven’t… I avoided this place completely. Wouldn’t even drive down this road…”

“Then… how would it recognize you?” Alex frowned. “Wasn’t that security measure implemented after the event?”

Rodolfo… realized Alex was right. Oh, no, he didn’t like that at all. Soap snorted. “Maybe it’s a racist robot. I mean… I know white people who can’t tell Hispanic people apart. White people programmed it… It could be racist.”

Rodolfo wasn’t sure he believed that but… what other explanation was there? “I guess.” He mumbled. “Whatever, let's just turn them off.” He moved forward to press the button again.

“Remember me?” Mateo asked again, his foot moving in front of the button. “I’m here. Remember me? It’s me. I’m here. Remember me?”

Rodolfo jerked back as Mateo reached for him, staring at the animatronic. It almost appeared to be stopping him from pressing the button. “No. I don’t remember you.” He moved over, reaching for the button again and then crying out as his arm was grabbed.

“Alex!” He cried and then Mateo’s arm was reaching around him, pulling him onto the stage. “Alex!” 

“Remember me. Please remember me. It’s me. I’m here. Remember me.” Mateo was repeating and he pulled Rodolfo close to him, almost hurting him from the way he was hugging him. “Remember me.”

Rodolfo’s heart pounded in his chest and he kicked and shoved against Mateo. “Alex!” He screamed. Images of Mateo crushing his ribs ran through his mind, sending fear flooding through every vein in his body. 

“Mateo… We don’t just grab children. You know the rules, put the poor boy down!” Another animatronic voice rang through the pizzeria and Rodolfo was suddenly released and then he was yanked off the stage.

Alex almost was hugging him close, pulling him back. “Are you okay??” He looked down at him.

Rodolfo didn’t answer, looking at the Velveteen Rabbit, who was now standing. It’s eyes glowed bright pink and it started towards them, almost striding. “Alex, the rabbit!”

“Guys-” Soap said and nudged them both, pointing to the stage where Mateo was now climbing down.

“Price’s office!” Alex immediately said. “There’s an emergency shut down in there! They also can’t go in it!” He quickly pulled them and all three rushed away, to the back.

“No! Don’t run!” Mateo called after them. “Remember me! I’m here! I’m here!”

Rodolfo could hear his footsteps after them, loud and clanky, and Alex suddenly was dragging him harder. They ran down a short hallway and then Rodolfo was shoved into a doorway, tripping and hitting the floor. Soap hit the ground beside them and then Alex was slamming the door.

Mateo stopped just outside the doorway, staring into the window, and Rodolfo panted, staring up at him. “I’m here… Remember me. I’m here.”

Alex backed away after locking the door and all three stared at the door. The shadow of the Velveteen Rabbit suddenly crossed over what little light was coming through the doorway from the lights of the stage.

“Fuck…” Soap panted. “What do we do now?”

--

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