#(probably not i don't want to make things more complicated for myself ^^'')
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Thinking about Shao Yuanyuan and her wildcard potential and it hit me today... just how much does she know? Does she live in a time loop similar to Lu Guang or does she hop in and out of the past like Cheng Xiaoshi? Does she know that Cheng Xiaoshi also has a death node?
It suddenly occurred to me to that the Shao Yuanyuan we likely saw during the fire in Ep 4, was either a time leaping SYY from the future or at least one who had information from her future self to know to be in Bridon at this point in time and also a Shao Yuanyuan who might have just realized Cheng Xiaoshi had awakened his own powers.
Given her meeting with Cheng Xiaoshi in Ep 6 where she acts like Cheng Xiaoshi should be aware of how this all works, I suspect that it's because the version of Shao Yuanyuan from Ep 4 arranged this meeting because she encountered Cheng Xiaoshi during the fire and thus knew he would show up in Bridon and go searching for them through Wang Qing. She needed to set up that meeting so she could tell Cheng Xiaoshi face to face not to pursue her anymore (and make things more complicated).
I also think that was her second attempt at doing so - the first being to go back years earlier to tell the Qiao family not to let him go to Bridon. But the future refused to change so she found another opportunity to try again.
And based on Lu Guang's comments it sounds like she would have also failed again in the original timeline. It's not clear how her conversation with CXS went last time (if there was one) but at the very least she might not have had time to make CXS promise not to chase after her anymore, and that would have likely sealed his fate. If anything, a sudden interrupted meeting like that might have even encouraged him further.
And this is all coming from a Shao Yuanyuan from an unknown point in the future...
Anyway this is a lot of words to say where in time is Shao Yuanyuan?
And what the heck does the timeline look like from her perspective?
#unlike CXS & (sorta) LG this woman dives with INTENT to change the past#casually flapping her butterfly wings with the force of a hurricane#she is going to give LG even more white hair ^^''#(and also if she's aware that an unknown variable entered the timeline is she noticing changes in the timeline too?)#(or was the outside factor she was thinking of CXS learning to time dive and trying to help rather than another outsider)#link click#link click spoilers#but also something something season 1 operated on closed loops but there was also only 1 time traveller for them#now in Bridon we have two actively working at the same time...#and only when LG & SYY both applied pressure did a new node seem to appear#something something SYY and LG can't save their loved ones alone...#(to make things more twisted what if syy's second attempt was actually the qiaos but that memory is going to now fade out of existence...#(probably not i don't want to make things more complicated for myself ^^'')#(SYY jumping in and out already has the potential to make things crazy complicated because she's not experiencing events linearly)#(something something that burned hand photo is something SYY can use as a marker)#(or CXS showing up anywhere she is is a marker)#(if CXS shows up then she knows her plan will fail...)#(the live action's concept of markers is too cool not to make more use of!)#(something something LG and/or SYY in a time loop to prevent CXS from awakening his powers a la Madoka)#i'm just rambling now sorry#link click ramblings#(syy may not be winning best mom awards but she is quickly winning me over in the most interesting supporting character category)#(LADY TELL ME ALL YOUR SECRETS!)
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okay, I'm crowdsourcing advice for a minute, so bear with me and please lend some words if you have any:
I want to get out of the house more. Like, on a regular basis. Weekly, maybe. Preferably, I would like to be interacting with people—the same people—every time, for... like... accountability, but also because I am hoping to put myself out there as the 21st century's most neurotic platonic Casanova. Uh. Making a friend or more out of this would be desirable. But I think if I go out with the intention of making a friend, I will be disappointed.
So. I want to go do something, for that something's own sake. I don't want to go be fake once a week hoping to get a friend out of it.
However, the beautiful state of Iowa is a bit cultureless, and I am too introverted and easily overwhelmed for this world (e.g. going to bars is probably not gonna be my thing). So.... I guess.... any suggestions? opinions? thoughts on making friends in general, or finding good activities as an introverted adult, in general?
oh yeah, also: I am poor. that's a factor. so. signing up a class or similar is not a great option right now.
what the heck, I'll add a silly poll for fun:
#Robin processes emotions on main#Robin speaks#I'm mostly talking out loud here. you know how it is#the question itself is too complicated for an easy answer#and everything will change in January when I become unemployed again and start searching for an in-person job anyway#but hey..... (trails off with nothing to say)#to clarify: right now I'm working part time online#and I'm surviving but my mental health is kind of..... tenuous. I'm lonely. I've got no regular in person contact with non-family#also the young-adults group thing sounds uniquely agonizing. I'm restructuring my entire way of faith right now#and so my choices in a young adults group would be.... either fake it or make myself into an embarrassing... like... Thing#impediment to fun and progress or whatever#I don't want to do that. especially if I'm looking to make friends. it'd be like therapy but public and with strangers and frankly#probably very very midwestern-bland-white-evangelical and I don't know if I can take it... I don't know if I can do it#yeagh#OH. ALSO. BY THE WAY. when I say ''a friend or more'' I do NOT mean a friend or romance alsjdflsjdlkdfjsjla#I mean ONE OR MORE friends.
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if 2026 rolls around and i've not figured out a set course for dealing with my career woes (taking community college classes, making plans to continue education, switching jobs, literally ANYTHING...) please beat 🔨me 🔨with 🔨hammers........🔨🔨🔨
#i feel so stagnant and unhappy and trapped#by all rights i have a good enviable job#even if it doesn't pay fantastic#and i have a lot of free time that i am completely squandering#either i need to go whole hog into this career and do what i can to learn programming and higher intensity pipelines and time management#or i need to start changing my career like. now. and figure out 1) what to and 2) how to do it#i probably can even juggle it and my current job at the same time#which would be good#i also need to figure out if i want to stay here. move across the country. move to a different country. it kind of is important for that#i gotta travel to some of the places i'm interested in first to see if it's worth my time to lean into the process#bc i have essentially until 35-45 at the latest#it was a bit less overwhelming to approach when it seemed like i could have at least one person to fall back on in case things go wrong#but i don't wanna put pressure on anyone anyway i would rather live in a car if i have to bc i can't find a place for the night or w/e#i think loosely i wanna go on an international trip by end of '27 if like. things don't get crazy??? <:) that would be fun#and it'll be good to see how i fare#i'd like to see and experience more n make new friends. really put myself out there.#obviously i'm not wealthy so it's. tough. but. if i'm still with my same job i can probably take it with me now!!! yay!!#the being transgender and doing weekly shots definitely makes everything so needlessly complicated ugh#personal stuff
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No I didn't find the Melleona blog - I just saw your reblog/clue/thing and thought that was probably what you were alluding to
It probably was because I had planned to actually set up the blog but unfortunately never got to it.
I'm sorry to disappoint though <:(
#I should probably finish setting up some of my other blogs and make a hint post about them so that y'all aren't stuck looking for blogs i#barely use ( ̄ヘ ̄;)#or...i guess i could use the blogs i already have..#:(((#I'm sorry i don't have anything more to offer at the moment<:((#I'm kinda busy irl so it's making things complicated. i still haven't set up my new intro post. it's taking forever.#the adhd is adhding#+ my mom is getting onto me about work so i gotta help her out too#← she's practically expecting me to make a painting every day#it's kind of exhausting my creativity. she doesn't understand it..and or doesn't care. she just wants me to make money for myself ig#which I'm going to work with since it's a good opportunity. I'm just tired and not taking care of myself right.#i just realized this kinda turned into a rant! sorry!! (• ▽ •;)#the search continues
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ive started a brainstorming doc for the kaiji koi-koi fic and a large large amount of it is just trying to figure out what works about kaiji and how i can innovate without diverging too much from the tone or themes etc. anyway ive been thinking about how the modifications fkmt makes to the games in kaiji function (i.e. minefield mahjong, restricted rps, one poker, etc), and how they each tie into key traits/feelings of playing to original versions. minefield mahjong centers and intensifies the feeling of waiting on a crucial tile while trying not to leave too much of a trail, one poker leans heavily into the bluffing via raising/calling elements of poker, and rrps sort of flips rps' main issue(?) on its head by removing its arbitrariness (while preserving at first the illusion of arbitrariness), and thus making it like.. something you can win via strategy and not just luck. ANYWAY i think ive figured out the key thread to pull for koi-koi and im very excited about that
#idk if i wanna say it but like. why not who cares#one of the things that interests me the most about koi-koi is how uneven the card hauls can be#halfway through a round your opponent can have 12 carss and you can have 2 and it's just Like that#and for a card hoarding game that can be really tense#finding some way to play with that dynamic is my key to making this engaging i can feel it#my current (first) idea is to create a punishment for having claimed cards that don't form a finished hand#(i.e. having 4 poetry ribbons or having 2 lights and the rain man)#a card hoarding game that punishes greed!! where you have to be so much more careful with what you do#and where laying out a card rather than taking smth unlikely to benefit you is much more often a good idea#but youve gotta balance that with sabotaging your opponents' hands and racking up points etc#and there's just such a big luck component to koi-koi that no matter what you do you're just gonna have to go all in#on some hands anyway#i think it could be really fun is my point and i (more than any prior fic) want to create smth very similar to fkmt's work#like it's a missing arc or something#ah but im not sure if that's enough of a simplification to really feel like a fkmt mod#(the nature of all these modded games is such that theyre reduced to these really intense much more granular steps#so you get all the psychological thrill and mind game shit without irreparably tanking the pacing)#while i don't think kk is nearly as complicated a game as smth like mahjong idk if this would have that same effect#BUT i think it does bc it intensifies those more throwaway moments of kk to a massive degree#i just gotta find a way to make it a little more iconic like op and rrps and mm#ANYWAY. spoilers for a fic thats probably never getting finished. not for like 5 years at least#kaijiposting#im also trying to figure out if/how i wanna make this a battle royale. i think my favorite kaiji setups have that dynamic#and im kinda sad that it's pretty much disappeared since part one#seeing the meta evolve during rrps is so cool and the group psych elements of brave men road is what makes that arc so good#im very excited. maybe it'll suck maybe it'll never get made maybe it's super pedestrian for gambling manga/associated (<- not a genre im#especially involved with) but *i* like it and im happy and thats what matters the most#and although i havent looked into kaiji fic i imagine projects like this aren't that common? bc theyre a Lot of work to plan out#anywy i gotta hype myself up so in 5 yrs i can post it to thunderous silence (nobody cares about koi-koi enough to read 99k words about it)
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Me *kicks down door*: IM DONG THE CHARACTER COLOR WHEEL CHALLENGE!
My brain (+anxiety): that's a little to late for tha-
Mr: SHUT THE FUCK UP I GET TO DRAW WHOEVER I WANT
My brain: what happens when you don't know who to draw
Me: I have friends to ask bitch! Plus i can draw everything i like! Every single one and I get to draw The JETTWINS again and post it.
Soooo, uh ill take request for characters for this
#1260 doing something for no reason#I was bored#And I wanted to expanded more on the stuff I draw#Soooo#Why not color wheel challenge to make it fun?#I don't know if I was suppose to put my name or anything so uhh#Doodle of myself in the middle I guess?#Does anyone else have uh anxiety like this?#Like my brain likes to over complicated things that are probably very simple for others sooo#Yes I have a character sheet of the Jettwins in irl on how to draw them#Did I use them#No. No I did not because I shoved it up in my closet
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I've decided I need to post at least some of my DC art backlog or I may actually explode and die
#ramblings of a lunatic#i have things I'm cooking#it's always weird when a new obsession takes me bc it usually is so intense that it blocks out any ability to think/talk abt-#-whatever it is I've been posting about for the past year or two#and I'm always afraid that I'm like. alienating anyone who views my blog on a regular basis#which is stupid! i know that this is my house and I can post whatever i want!#it just feels odd#especially bc enjoying comics isn't like enjoying other stuff for me. it's complicated#GAH anyway. I'm currently following along with bop + batman and robin rn (+semi following the flash??? a lil???)#(I'm one of the sickos who's actually looking forward to beast world exclusively bc of the tie-ins (like the flash). i know I'm a freak)#but like. that's two monthly series. i have to sustain myself with day dreams#and then i don't know how to externalise the daydreams. also i feel like i know too much abt canon to exist soley in the like.#the corner of the fandom that's just an echo of the source material (which is valid imo as a separate off-shoot of fandom)#but also i always feel like i don't know Enough (nor do i have enough bitterness in my soul) to occupy the mainstream more hardline-#-comic fan spaces that adhere much more closely to canon#ergo i never know like. who I'm making a post for in that sense bc I'm not sure i could slot comfortably into either camp yknow?#i should value my own opinions and interests enough to just vote for myself. and yet#and yet...#anyway. it's probably gonna be the usual slew of redesigns and doodles of C...nay Z-listers that i care about#if it does happen. which like i said. if it doesn't. i esplode
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The post that solved it all for me PART 1



NOT MY POST, THIS IS MOBILEBLACKSMITH2535 VIA REDDIT
(It might sound like I'm yelling at you in this paragraph but these are just things I wish someone told me like years ago) Here is where I talk about everything law of assumption that helped me ACTUALLY become a master manifestor. The law of assumption, as I see it, is the law of being. You cannot experience what you are not being. Coming from a person that used to cry myself to sleep every night feeling frustrated, hopeless, and extremely tired of putting all this effort into something and getting absolutely nothing back, this shit is real. Please do not take this post with a grain of salt. Please do not toss my story in with the probably hundreds of other "I have shifted" threads/videos you have witnessed. If you want to shift listen to every word that I say. I can't explain why we have this power I just know that from November of 2020 to July of 2023 I have been working my ass of to get somewhere, anywhere. In between those 3 years I had an on and off behavior towards shifting. I used to force myself to forget about shifting for a few weeks because it hurt too much to think about it. I felt like I won the lottery and I couldn't cash in the money. It was awful and I wouldn't wish that feeling of hopelessness on any other conscious being. Sometimes I would watch shifting tik tok compilation videos on YouTube and get a surge of motivation that would soon die out along with any semblance of dignity and self-esteem I had left. I'm telling you not asking you to see me as a real completely sane person because that is exactly what I am. Even though I'm creative and spiritual (not religious, spiritual), I can't help but see things logically. It's just my nature. I like patterns, formulas, structured systems, explanations, science, etc. I knew the probability of hundreds upon thousands of people describing in detail their experience of shifting couldn't be a phenomenon but a real...thing. I, for some reason, never doubted the possibility of shifting, more my capability to do it. Along my journey I've had my moments of distrust surrounding shifting in itself, and as I rounded onto the 3rd year of attempts I had increasing feelings of dread and anger. I was angry at the world that I live in, feeling dreadful that I couldn't escape it all. Then on one fateful fateful day, specifically July 31rst 2023 at about 8:30 am, I shifted. It was easy and it was effortless. Just as everyone says, but that's not something I'd like to focus on in today's post. I'm not making this post to tell you how simple shifting is or to "let go" (whatever the fuck that means) or to change your mindset. Those things are all useless compared to the thing that just clicked for me on July 31rst 2023 at about 8:30 am. What I am going to tell you is going to be so stupidly straightforward that your mind isn't going to want to believe me at first. You are going to try to make it more complicated than it is, just like you probably did with shifting when you first learned about it. But assure you that you should take what I am about to say at face-value. You don't need to let go, you don't need to change anything about yourself, you don't need to "release blockages", you don't need to reprogram your subconscious mind. You are done. You have your desire already. You are finished and there is nothing left for you to do.
LOOK AT MY PAGE FOR PART TWO
#reality shifter#law of assumption#loa tumblr#reality shifting#shifting#shifting blog#loa#loassblog#loassumption#loa blog#itsreallymine#voidstate#pure consciousness#voidmethod#void#desired reality#shifting community
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Hot off the presses, it's the first (and probably only) issue of Vatore Magazine! Pick up your copy now to see all 22 (!) looks in detail, shop the must-have CC, and - most importantly - collect some new scraps of coveted Vatore lore. 👀
READ VATORE MAGAZINE (PDF)
So, yeah, guess who thought they were going to do a straightforward decades lookbook and ended up making things entirely too complicated? 🙋♀️ The visual side of my brain is always tickled when CC creators put together little catalogs for their collections. That was my initial inspiration. Then I did a half-baked magazine cover concept and wanted to make a better one. I used this template as a base, and the headlines ended up being the most fun part. Anyway, I don't know how many people will click the link let alone scroll through the entire thing, but you'll be rewarded with several paragraphs of Vatore history if you do. I did this more to properly establish their timeline for myself than anything else, but I put a lot of care and time into it, so I appreciate anyone who reads. ❤️
#ts4#sims 4#ts4 lookbook#sims 4 lookbook#story: hzid#which vatores are your favorite(s)?#mine are the '80s obviously#the '50s because they rose up like bad bitches in stolen designer clothes to reclaim their fortune#and the '90s because i'm not sure how well i captured the decade but i ended up really loving their looks!!!#caleb vatore#lilith vatore#*tbw
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So...remember how I said in that update post how I might MAYBE do a TSS rewrite and post it for free?
"Maybe" quickly turned into "definitely happening". Instead of making it outside of COG, however, the finished product that's already published will be updated with the rewritten files. This means that if you've already purchased TSS through COG, you'll have the rewritten version available. That's how I originally intended to go about things with the old rewrite and is the better option here to avoid potential complications.
I've been in contact with COG and they've let me know that I'd be able to do what I have in mind even if this results in a different wordcount and very different scenes/plot points and a different kind of main story.
I realize that this announcement is probably pretty jarring since my last post stated that I wasn't sure about doing a rewrite but that I wanted to if I had enough time. After making that post, I started creating an outline for the rewrite mostly for fun...and one thing kind of led to another. I want you all to know that I wouldn't be making this post at all if I wasn't sure about this. It's because I've already begun the process and feel incredibly motivated and inspired that I can do this that I'm making this announcement.
This rewrite is not going to be like my old attempt at a rewrite, though. It's an entirely new one that I feel much more confident about.
So far I've written the outline for the rewrite and started reworking already existing scenes from chapter 1 as well some new ones. I'm happy to say that the difference between how the rewrite process felt years ago compared to now is like light and day. It seems like those years I've taken away from TSS were very healthy and helpful in giving me some distance and letting me figure out what kind of story I really want to tell.
My plan is to rewrite book 1 and then make 1 full continuation after that. Instead of a trilogy, it looks like this version of TSS will be 2 volumes, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it'll be shorter than originally intended. I think it's more doable for me to rewrite the first book (starting from scratch while also using some already written scenes, since I've been assured I'm allowed to do so) and then make 1 complete continuation of it rather than trying to fill stuff out over 3 different entries, and I think it'll serve the plot and story as a whole to do it that way.
That being said, I fully understand that some - or most of you - might have trouble trusting my word after me failing to do the rewrite I wanted to years ago and not delivering a second book. That's completely fair. This time I'm not rushing things and I don't feel any pressure to do this. It's not something I do out of dislike for the original, but rather out of love for what it could be and what I could make it into, if that makes sense. I'm taking as much time as I need to and am not putting any pressure on myself to do this.
My other project takes priority right now so I can't dedicate all of my time to the rewrite, but I'm working on it when I have time over or get stuck. It's actually pretty nice to alternate between two different stories that have different settings and has helped a bit in avoiding writer's block.
Here are some differences between TSS and the TSS rewrite (most of the changes I made to the old rewrite no longer apply):
The rewrite will be told in second-person point of view ("you" instead of "I"). The reason for this is that when I first started TSS I was really unused to the second-person POV, but after having spent years in the IF space it's now the other way around. It'll make writing much easier for for me, and I hope it won't feel too jarring for people who are used to the first person POV.
The Shadowman and Jealene (now "J") will both be genderselectable just like the main cast. The Shadowman will be genderselectable later on, though - it might sound strange but I think it makes sense when you have more context. J plays a bigger role than they did in the original and their personality is a bit different in this version.
Some side characters (such as most of the hideout) will be cut. This is because they felt really underdeveloped to me in the full game and didn't serve much of a purpose. Instead I'm focusing more on the main cast + a few key characters to ensure the story plot stays focused and you get more time to develop bonds of various kinds with the main cast instead.
The relationship system will look a bit different. Instead of bars showing a percentage of approval, I'll write a description of each character and what they think of you. The descriptions will shift when the character starts viewing you differently, whether that's due to rivalry, romance or friendship. My hope is that this will allow for a more nuanced relationship system/descriptions. I'll also adjust the options a bit to try and make choices more nuanced and am thinking of including the option of having ex. a heart next to a romantic choice for those who want to know for sure what they're getting into. The different responses (such as shy, flirty etc.) will stay but some of it will probably be reworked. Essentially what I want to do is allow for a wider range of MCs and how the characters respond to the MC.
The MC is going to have more agency in certain ways. I've included something plot-relevant to the main character that can potentially change the dynamic between them and the group a bit, but it all depends on how you play it.
The tone might be somewhat different. Not entirely, of course, but there are some parts of the old TSS where the characters sound a bit younger than they are supposed to be, where tension and seriousness has been sacrificed in favor of humor and where some of the interactions aren't the way I would prefer for them to be. I've gotten older since writing TSS (gasp) and my tastes have changed, as has my writing to some degree. In order to do a rewrite I'd have to write in a way that's most enjoyable for me and that I feel best fits the story I want to tell. That's not to say that there isn't going to be silliness etc., but I'm adjusting the tone somewhat and putting more time and effort into descriptions and the writing overall.
The narrative will be different, even though the overall story itself will mostly stay the same. I'm keeping a lot of elements and also aim to introduce new ones that I believe will strengthen the story and make it a more enjoyable game overall.
I think those are the main differences I can give away right now without spoiling anything. I'll make sure to post updates when I've got more to share! Once the demo for the rewrite is finished, I'll post it on the forums and link it in an intro post on here.
Thank you all for sticking by me throughout the years. I hope you'll find some comfort in returning to this world, as well as new things to ponder and excite you in this new upcoming version of the story <3
The Azuridia and Quaiel chibis are done by the amazing madebysalfi
#the shadow society#tss#interactive fiction#update#if#carawenfiction#cog#choice of games#hosted games
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rereading with the latest update to get caught up, and now I know its an option I am desperate for director's commentary on Ruins pt7, if you're willing, please
(Also I first started reading this before taking sign langauge classes, and while I am learning a different SL to ASL/whatever Slate is using, some things translate well. Which is to say I was very excited seeing Loft use thank you and other small signs, or recognising Slate's signs. Its very cool!)
OH AN OLDIE yeah sure!! i will do my best to remember wtf i was on about lol
first of all. this was posted in 2023. what do u mean it's 2025 and im only on ch2. explodes. ANYWAY.
I'm still proud of myself this this panel thing w the arrow lol where it's both coming towards the octorok and has already gone through it. this is something that didn't rlly end up making it into the final product but I don't think Slate actually makes a habit of just killing monsters willy nilly. I don't see him hunting down every monster in Hyrule after the calamity ends. He kills this octorok bc they antagonize the horses but also because. I needed an excuse for his bow to already be out HAHA
I have complicated feelings about the yiga and what their lore implies lol but for Slate's part, he has personal beef with them on account of how many times they're tried and nearly succeeded in killing him. I like to imagine the Yiga as both deeply goofy and also a serious threat at the same time lol, which i think sums up how Slate feels about them.
I did however want to take this opportunity to show his capacity to be a brutal fighter, the same way Loft is in the opening of ch1. Actually the idea for this scene even came about because in my own late-stage game I kept getting attacked by a blademaster literally every 2 feet in certain regions, and I was getting so frustrated by it I just started obliterating them with ancient arrows 💀 Slate using way more arrows than necessary was a nod to that. idk maybe this guy lived lol
this scene was also to spur comparisons between Slate and Loft's experiences. Loft is brutal with monsters, but he's never killed a human being. Realizing that the Yiga aren't monsters shocks him.
this is a failure of my own paneling bc I didn't have enough room on the page and refused to add another, but Loft is hallucinating this guardian being active. all the guardians are inactive since defeating the calamity. actually what I should have done was add a red targeting line that then disappeared in the next panel. MAN.
alright and probably what you actually wanted commentary on, first Champion sighting! The first time Slate actually sees Champion is at the end of ch1, so if you're wondering if Slate knows he's there in this scene, the answer is no. I think rather than following Slate around all along, Champion has spent most of his time just sort of. barely existing here at Fort Hateno, or sitting with the master sword. He's not exactly like the ghosts of the other champions, or King Rhoam. sorry buddy :-(
i do have a bonus comic the works re: ghost lore that I will hopefully finish. someday so I think that might answer some questions ppl have. and possibly introduce a few more. but on the whole I like to keep whatever's going on here a little ambiguous. like I said in this update's commentary, one part literal and one part metaphorical. maybe two parts metaphorical lol
I think that's all I got for this one!
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What am I doing in the year of our lord 2025 drawing Junjou Romantica fanart
Goodness me, I got into JJR back in 2008 when the anime aired and then I got into the manga that same year. At the time, I wasn't really drawing people, I was drawing animals, but I was OBSESSED with this yaoi with my whole heart and wanted so badly to draw fanart for it. So now here it is! 17 years in the making! Btw, trying to interpret anime hair logic with my style is easier said than done, but I did my best lol. All just colored sketches and then some scribbles for funsies.
But I definitely have some complicated feelings about this manga/anime. More below the cut (its A LOT, I'm so sorry).
JJR was one of the first yaois I ever got into, and back in 2008 when I didn't realize being gay was an option, this silly little manga/anime felt like an escape for me. Well, it's now 17 years later and upon rereading this manga (I still have volume 1-12, I could never get rid of them, they mean to much to me) I realize that it has aged POORLY.
This yaoi is definitely a product of its time (2002/2003) and it SHOWS. I find myself disappointed in the dynamic between Usagi-san and Misaki and wish that Misaki would show Usagi-san SOME sort of affection outside of the bare minimum (cooking and cleaning for Usagi) and Usagi definitely has some... Issues of his own. Now, I'm an adult, and I can see that consensual non-consent (CNC) can be fun and exciting for a couple (you know, if agreed upon beforehand), and it can be fun for your partner to initiate things out of the blue, but Usagi definitely toes the line of what that is. Now, I know that this was the early 2000s and yaoi relationships tended to have that dynamic (One being the seme who didn't listen to "no" and the uke who said "no" constantly but actually secretly liked what was happening), like I said, this series is definitely a product of its time. But I don't know man, its not fun (for me) reading sex scenes where one of them is constantly telling the other one to stop over and over again. (I also think it'd be cute as fuck if Usagi-san asked Misaki if he could kiss him and Misaki shyly said yes instead of yelling at him like he always does).
I even went online to read up to volume 27, but all I can express is that same disappointment. Misaki rarely even likes to acknowledge that he's in love with Usagi-san, or is dating the man, or even likes him (it seems to be only under duress that he admits these things STILL. IN 2022 when that volume was released!)
I wish there had been more character development in the years since I stopped reading the manga, I wish we could see Misaki and Usagi-san acting like they actually like each other outside of when they have sex (yes there are small moments between the two, and a bickering couple can be a fun dynamic, but dear lord lets shake things up A LITTLE. I'M BEGGING).
Lets not even get started on the sketchyness that is (at the start of the manga) a 28 year old falling in love with an 18 year old (And we're not even going to TALK about Miyagi and Shinobu) -don't bring up the age of consent in Japan, I do NOT wanna hear it-.
Listen, I'm 29, and I would NEVER even DREAM about dating an 18 year old (or 19 year old) at my age. (Fuck, the youngest I'll date is MAYBE 23 but even THATS pushing it for me).
All of that to say is that I still can't help but have an extreme soft spot for this series, and there are still moments that I love from this (Volume 9, the Christmas chapter, am I right? Gets me EVERY time), and fuck, Shungiku Nakamura is probably still making bank with this series so who the fuck am I to say anything lol. I'm just a rando online with an opinion, you don't have to agree, and you can think that whatever Misaki and Usagi have is fuckin' AWESOME. I'm just an old fart
But, I dunno, I think it'd be interesting to explore Misaki's internalized homophobia, and Misaki slowly but surely growing more and more comfortable with not only accepting Usagi-san's affections and even reciprocating and initiating on his own, but also accepting HIMSELF and being happy with who he is instead of the constant self shame he puts himself through for being with a man. Let's be so real, he is gay, he can't stop looking at other attractive men and FAWNING over how hot they are (Nowaki, Todo, Injuin Sensei, the list goes on).
But who am I to complain, I went and drew fanart of these two anyway. Rock, meet glass house.
Unrelated, I love the art style in volume 3-6 a lot because its very "late 90s early 2000s" art and I think the art peaked in volume 9. And now its unpeaking. Bring back Usagi-san's yaoi chin so help me god.
I do have yaoi I prefer over this one a lot more, and involve older couples (which I find that I prefer), and have fun, cute stories. If anyone has read this far and wants those recs, lemme know (dear god I'm so sorry, this has gone on so long.)
Anyway I do want to redraw some of the sex scenes and post it to my bluesky.
#art#fanart#junjo romantica#junjou romantica#misaki takahashi#usagi-san#akihiko usami#junjou romantica fanart#jjr#jjr fanart#Misaki#usagi san
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i too need to crack eddie & volt. as their third. or wherever they wanted me. just so you know the sentiment is shared
what's so funny is, out of my friend group, i was the most "meh" about them
but now i'm out here, i got two WIP steamy (not full smut) pieces with the two separately, plans for wireplay, generally being haunted by them every waking minute of my life, and giving myself multiple points of psyche damage just thinking about them. game devs really just said "hey, let's haunt his ass specifically" and now i'm fighting for my life in the trenches.
anyway. i'm gonna take this chance to get my thoughts out about them. these are my pre-release, will probably change nsfw headcanons for the both of them. i'll be doing them separately, since i don't know what their full relationship with each other is.
no specific content warnings for this, outside of general nsfw.
volt: volt is the more complicated one imho. playing through their introduction, he seems very fake in like, a performative way. like, "i must perform this certain way and be perfect and please everyone, or else i can't live up to my predecessor (eddie) and no one will have need of me". for that reason, i'm saying he's a vers dom with an emphasis on service. will be a domtop, will be a dombottom, whatever pleases his partner. he does take the submissive role, but only with long term partners and requires a lot of aftercare if he does. i think if you were with him long term and got his trust, he'd be willing to receive and be pampered a lot more, maybe even start to prefer bottoming, but it's definitely something he'd have to get used to.
very tentative and aware of his partner's needs and desires, even if not verbally communicated. it's almost scary with him, really. awkward with aftercare, though. doesn't like being doted on or taken care of, it's too vulnerable for him.
i do think, because of his electric nature, he has to be super careful with like. giving head or eating ass or kissing on the lips or even fingering because sometimes sex makes him a bit overstimulated and more prone to (painfully) shocking his partner. with enough balance tho, you can definitely get some sensation play, overstim, and electrical play going. fully shocking his partner is one of his strict limits, though, so it's more like small, very controlled static shocks than anything. think, something along the lines of static on your clothes after you take them out of the dryer.
trans guy. i'm thinking about making him prefer t4t, but isn't strict about it. top and bottom surgery (phalo).
eddie: domtop. that's it. i'm not sure if i want to make him a stone top or just a total top, but he doesn't bottom and he doesn't do submission. his flirting is far more disrespectful subtle than volt's. disrespectful glances, heavy touching (wear a chest harness around him and he's playing with that thing all night until you get the message). he's been around the block, he knows how it works. few quick glances, a raised eyebrow, a head tilt towards the back closet.
hookups tend to be on the rougher side, any softer tends to be reserved for long term partners and/or romantic partners. shockingly good at aftercare, only time he really seems to enjoy physical affection. i can see him being a bit of a greedy top, maybe more focused on himself than his partner, but still a good fuck all around.
trans guy. pretty much strictly t4t. top surgery only.
#—the orange answers#date everything#date everything smut#date everything volt#date everything eddie#de volt#de eddie#i'm still figuring out my tagging system#honestly i don't even think there's a generally agreed upon tagging system for the fandom#it's the wild wild west out here rn#also no promises on when the two eddie and volt pieces are coming up. i am fighting for my life rn with this weather
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avoidance
if i had been in jiang cheng's position immediately after the fall of lotus pier, i probably would not have tried to strangle wei wuxian.
i don't like dealing with negative emotions, so instead i'd probably say some bullshit like "whaaat? no, it's not your fault and i don't blame you at all, so don't worry about it," and then just put all my energy towards trying to survive. except i would blame wei wuxian. i would very much blame him, from the depths of my soul. even if i tried my hardest to convince myself not to blame him, that i should not blame him, that i do not want to blame him - nonetheless, my subconscious would remain convinced that, were it not for him, my family and everyone i grew up with would still be alive.
and, because of that resentment, i would begin to pull away from him.
i would not save wei wuxian from that wen patrol. even if i did love that deeply, my resentment would still blunt my reaction time and i would not be able to act in time. for the sake of convenience, let's say that wen ning rescues wei wuxian from lotus pier anyways. wei wuxian lives. what happens then? on one hand, i still resent him for causing the deaths of all my family; on the other hand, though, now i also feel guilty for allowing him to be captured and tortured simply because i would not die in his place. how do i deal with these complicated emotions - these unsightly, ugly emotions? i don't. i bury them and pretend they don't exist, because running away from difficult feelings is how i've always lived my life - i run away from him, because whenever i see him, this twinned of resentment and guilt rear their ugly heads again.
thus, because of my emotional unavailability, the relationship tanks. maybe wei wuxian gets his core melted, somehow picks up demonic cultivation anyways, and is thus pulling away from me as well; maybe the avoidance comes from both ends. and if wei wuxian instead notices that something is wrong and starts pestering me about what's wrong - well, i have full faith in my ability to deflect. i am long-practiced in diverting the focus of a conversation specifically to imply that the other party's concern isn't welcome.
thus, by the time the sunshot campaign ends, our relationship would have severely deteriorated. and then, because of this, i would take wei wuxian leaving our sect to protect the wen remnants as the actual end of our bond. unlike jiang cheng, i would not even argue against wei wuxian's leaving, nor say things as sentimental as "if you insist on protecting them, then i cannot protect you" - instead, i'd simply write off our relationship as doomed and sever it peacefully.
after all, he owes me nothing. i am entitled to neither his labor nor his presence. if he wishes to leave, then he is free to go; if he wishes to no longer be family, the i will no longer think of him as so. in fact, the less familiarly i think of him, the better: it is at once much easier and much more comfortable for me to believe, in a post-hoc sense, that someone who has left me actually never wanted to be with me to begin with, and i therefore have not lost anything of value at all. and this loss would not hurt me as much as it hurt jiang cheng in canon. after all, i, unlike jiang cheng, am a veteran at avoiding all thought on topics that distress me; instead, i'd soon find something new and exciting with which to distract myself.
i would not visit wei wuxian in the burial mounds. if jiang yanli insisted on seeing him, perhaps i would accompany her there, but i would not make any conversation with him myself beyond what is absolutely necessary. i would consider the death of jin zixuan unforgivable. i would consider the death of jiang yanli unforgivable. but perhaps i would not feel as wretchedly betrayed as jiang cheng does in canon: after all, i in this scenario, unlike jiang cheng, have already given up on wei wuxian a long time ago.
i would probably lead the first siege of the burial mounds. i would not hold the same level of animosity against the wens as jiang cheng does in canon - in general, while i can hold onto subconscious resentment for a long time, actively clinging onto seething hatred for extended periods of time is difficult for me. perhaps i'd even speak up more for the wen remnants, out of purely some abstract moral concern for the wellbeing of POWs; however, i'd stand down the moment any of said speech put my own people in danger. perhaps i'd lead the first siege of the burial mounds because it is expected of me. or perhaps i'd genuinely want the man who hurt my sister to die.
either way, if i then encountered wei wuxian in the burial mounds battlefield, i would actually kill him. it would be easy for me to do so.
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as you might have guessed, the "i" in this passage is not actually me (yanyan) from real life. if it were Me In Real Life in jiang cheng's position i would probably just die.
instead, the "i" in thjis passage is a different MDZS character. prize for you (bragging rights) if you can guess who it is!!!!!
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Hazbin Masterpost
Heavenbound Masterpost
Cherri Bomb
For Cherri, I wanted to lean into the 80s punk vibe. I looked at quite a bit of Cindi Lauper and Madonna photos too.
Design notes under the cut
Demon--
Hair: So canon Cherri basically has two hairstyles at once. I decided she could either have the long hair or the ponytail. The ponytail felt more iconic with the bomb fuse look, so I went with that one.
I wanted to play into the bomb fuse gimmick by having it help reflect her mood sometimes. Sparks or flames when she gets angry or excited. It's not super consistent though, so don't rely on it to gauge her mood.
Eyes: I wasn't a fan of the X pupil, but it felt too distinctive to get rid of. So I just put it in a circular iris to make myself feel better. It's ultimately just a personal preference. I changed her eye color because I thought it would balance better.
Teeth: I didn't like that everyone had sharp teeth. It sort of reduces the impact it has with someone like Alastor or Rosie. So I've been altering them.
Ears: Why are so many characters lacking ears? Is it just because Viv struggled to draw ears when she designed them?? Anyway, just know that Cherri has ears, even if I don't always show them.
Tattoos: I tend to avoid giving characters complicated tattoos, mostly because drawing them consistently is a nightmare. I wanted to fill out her sleeve in a way that I could manage somewhat consistently. But idk, not sure how well I did that. I think it suits her, at least.
Clothes: Her canon outfit was hard to make sense of, tbh. I just did what felt right. The rips seemed difficult to do consistently, so I simplified those. I was annoyed by the mismatched shoes, so I committed to boots, which felt more 80s punk to me.
Denim was such an 80s-90s thing. Had to give her a denim jacket with some patches. I'll probably randomly alternate when I draw her with or without it.
Human--
So the oldest version of Cherri was supposed to be Angel's daughter(which obviously changed), but I based the human design on that. Particularly the hair and eye colors. Her name was Isabella, so I stuck with it.
The hair colors reference an older design where she had blonde hair, and the pilot/canon designs where it's pink. So I just mashed everything together. She's naturally brunette, but dyes her hair pink and blonde. Then I added a couple alternate hairstyles to reference her canon long hair.
I don't have many headcanons for her life. She's a punk, probably skateboards and does graffiti, overall a delinquent. Obviously into pyrotechnics. Fireworks, bombs, explosives, etc. Got into trouble for arson. Probably into smoking, alcohol, and drugs since high school.
Died in the 80s, in her mid 20s. There are lots of ways it could have happened. Overdose, arson gone wrong, fireworks to the face, resisting police, street gang violence, drunk driving, etc. Lots of possibilities.
(Feb 17, 2025- moved the human design to be above the cut)
#hazbin hotel#hellaverse#hazbin hotel redesign#cherri bomb#hazbin cherri#human cherri bomb#heavenbound au#digital art#character sheet#a3 art#fanart
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Dear Raven, do you have any opinion on the Tangled event in terms of it’s “story”? Cause I personally feel that it was rather underwhelming…
I have a lot of thoughts about Wish Lantern, so I'd be more than happy to expand on those here. First of all, I think a lot of us were underwhelmed by this event because we went in with a certain set of expectations. We thought this would be THE Riddle event and hyped ourselves up about how this would further his character development. And technically, the event did do that--even if said development was only relevant for parts 2-7 to 2-13, and the final part, 2-18. I think we just weren't fans of the execution. Rarely are story events contained mostly in a single room--but Wish Lantern was. Rarely are modern Twst story events a mere two episodes long--but Wish Lantern was. Rarely do story events call for characters to just stand around and reenact the exact same things the Disney characters did--but in Wish Lantern, they do. It was just a storm of blandness when I think we were wanting and expecting to explore a new place, and more in-depth exploration of Riddle's complicated relationship with his mother, especially considering we got Wish Lantern right off the tail end of his book 7 dream in the JP server. But we didn't get that, so many people ended up disappointed.
Now, how do I feel about it? Well...
I think I get what they were going for by cramming everyone into the library. The devs were probably trying to show us how claustrophobic and suffocating it is to be trapped inside and stripped of your freedom. They wanted us to feel the same way that Rapunzel did up in her tower, and they did it all without telling us to our faces "doesn't it suck, don't you feel awful about this?" But the problem with this setting is that it also makes for a dull story, especially when you combine it with the fact that Riddle and the others come to the stunningly stupid conclusion that they HAVE to live out the same life the Princess in the Tower did to get out.
We never got an explanation as to why this chain of events was even set off by the lantern to begin with. As a writer myself, this really bothers me :/
We got NRC library lore, but it was not that interesting because this could have been easily guessed, given the age and elite status of the school.
One bit of new lore I thought was very interesting was Jack saying that only a handful of mages are authorized to move humans using magic + there are restrictions on this kind of magic. This fleshes out the magic system of Twst and the laws around its use.
I found it silly that Riddle was the one to suggest that they pretend to be princesses and that this is what would help solve their problem. That's so nonsensical and such a huge leap of logic, I expected it of KALIM, not Riddle. (Maybe you could argue that Riddle has a desire to let his inner child out, but I do not see current day Riddle so overtly expressing that; he has shown time and time again he is uncomfortable going outside the bounds his mother laid for him, and that includes acting in traditionally immature ways.) And not only that, but why did they all insist and automatically invest so much in being princesses, and continue to dig into details about the Princess in the Tower's life, truly believing that reenacting it would get them out of this bind??? I know it's for plot convenience, but it was so contrived. They literally had no proof this would work yet kept acting in ways that implied they genuinely believed it would work. Why wouldn't they just believe "okay, this isn't working" after changing into their new clothes, makeup, and hairdos and try something else? No, instead they just fully dedicated themselves to this reenactment strategy after questioning their assumption maybe once or twice.
The Princess in the Tower is even a FAIRY TALE in the world of Twisted Wonderland. It's not actually a part of their history. The characters point out (at multiple points in the event) how silly the fairy tale is or how little sense it makes. So... that gives them even less reason to believe in reenacting it as their solution.
Shoutout to the part where Jack talks about how tight his shirt is in the chest area (boobs too big, lol) and how he had to alter it to be more comfortable for him...
There were strange parts where the event was like a... poorly written locked room mystery? In a good mystery, the reader is handed all the clues to come to their own conclusions. In a bad mystery, important details are not given to the reader, so there is no feasible way for them to come to their own conclusions until the story tells them that missing crucial information. This happens a few times, with Ace handing Riddle "something he'll need" (which turns out to be a frying pan), Riddle "taking a long time" to jump out of the window (because he was contacting Silver to tell him to bring Vorpal), and Vargas giving them climbing rope (to aid in their escape). We only anticipate these things to occur if you're familiar with Tangled already. If you haven't seen it, you would have NO IDEA what is going to happen with these scenes.
I liked that every NRC character, including staff, got their five minutes in the spotlight. We don't often get events like this, so I appreciate them when they do happen.
Mom!Jamil was so very prominent this event 💀
Jade killed me when he showed up wearing THAT STUPID VARGAS CAMP MONSTER MASK THING.
... Remember what I said earlier about how it's confusing how Riddle, Jack, Deuce, and Kalim are throwing literally their ALL into these hobbies??? Well. Leona comes in and tells them it's inefficient to do that. Why are they trying to play an entire game of chess when moving a single piece is enough to constitute fulfilling the (supposed) requirements? If they were so worried about the time crunch, they should have been more economical with their time and spent the minimum amount on every activity, not spend hours trying to do each one. AGAIN, I HAVE TO GIVE IT TO KINGSCHOLAR... HE IS CORRECT. Of all the characters, I can only really see Riddle being anal about doing everything perfectly, but the other three could easily coast by on the bare minimum.
This is a bit of my book 7 salt spilling over into this event, but I kept having this nagging thought that Riddle and co. (+ Crowley) seem VERY concerned with escaping the library before it rolls over to the next day. Like... I understand why they're worried--but they oddly do not demonstrate this same level of urgency for most of the dream hopping in book 7 even though the stakes are much higher there. It doesn't make sense to me...
The devs got creative with the framing of this event; there was the diagonal slice and then showing two characters in two different locations speaking, as well as the Jamils low fade in + vanish.
The new music tracks were nice; one emulated the Kingdom Dance, and the other was a combination of the instrumentation of When Will My Life Begin and At Last I See The Light, which I appreciated.
The rhythmics/twistunes were cute. Nothing else to add.
I did like the character development we actually got for Riddle—I just wish it came attached to a better event and was executed better. His development is sort of poorly spaced out (especially when compared to Deuce in White Rabbit Fest), the event itself is short, and Riddle doesn’t even bring up his mom until 2-13… when the last part is 2-18.
I still felt that the parallels between Rapunzel and Riddle were sufficiently conveyed; it just requires reading between the lines.
I loved that they made a point to mention that the Princess didn’t know she was kidnapped by a witch because the witch provided all that she could ever want in her tower. Delicious food and lots of things to do… why would she ever go against someone that provided these amenities for her? It is similar to the mindset many abused children have—simply because an abusive guardian provides for them, children are compelled to give them grace and feel guilty about disobeying. These kids don’t realize they are “kidnapped” (under the abusive guardian’s thumb). The same goes for Riddle.
When I think about it… the window is an important symbol for Riddle. The manga more explicitly shows us that Trey and Chenya knocked on Riddle’s window to get his attention. It’s also through the window that Riddle escapes to go play with them. Now, again, a window is his escape, and, learning from past experience, he hesitates to take that route even though it is so easily accessible. I've decided... Never again. Almost made me gasp out loud, honestly. This was the part I expected from the start, and Twst actually delivered.
Another point I feel is very important is how Riddle consistently brings up the rules as a means of depriving himself of basic things like food (because you cannot eat in the library). The others have the be the ones to convince him to take better care of himself. He even has trouble jumping from the window too—and this is the same as Rapunzel. It’s not that they cannot leave the tower. They can leave anytime they like—but they trap themselves in it, psychologically speaking, due to how they’ve been isolated and controlled. That takes real strength and willpower to overcome.
It’s great that Jack, Deuce, and Kalim support Riddle through this tough decision-making, even if they’re blunt about it. (Sometimes bluntness is what he needs to really snap into action!!) “I don’t want to see you turning into a loser that uses the rules as an excuse to not act.”, “Are you planning on staying there forever?” etc.
The ending nicely wraps up Riddle’s little arc. He connects the dots that both he and Rapunzel broke the promises made to their mothers—but it was worth it to see this amazing sight, wasn’t it?
I happen to have my own Wish Lantern rewrite if you're interested in an alternate version of the event. As it currently is, it's okay to pretty good in the Riddle development scenes alone and has some cute interactions, but everything else surrounding that is pretty bleh.
#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland#Tangled#Riddle Rosehearts#Jack Howl#Deuce Spade#Leona Kingscholar#Jade Leech#Kalim Al-Asim#Scarabia#Jamil Viper#Trey Clover#Chenya#Ace Trappola#Silver#notes from the writing raven#question#wish lantern spoilers#tw // child abuse
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