#(this is the MUCH longer and more detailed summary that should explain at least SOME of these things compared to the one line fic summary)

[kamaluhkhan]

ours are the moments i play in the dark

pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader

summary: you come back to cousins beach after a few years away. conrad is not particularly happy that you're back - and you aren't particularly thrilled, either. too bad there's a history (chemistry?) neither of you can deny.

warnings: ANGST (im so sorry in advance...); flashback is from conrad's POV and the rest is from reader's perspective; mentions of sex + losing virginities (nothing too detailed/graphic); reader has an ex who's referred to with gender neutral pronouns; reader and other characters drink alcohol (pomegranate margaritas ;) ); hints of alcoholism (reader's mother); jealous reader who's trying her best; pining conrad who's a bit of a jerk; reader and conrad fight A Lot (they will make up eventually i promise!!)

tags: @stargirlsirius-recs, @ifilwtmfc, @qwertyb2577, @allnrsnz, @baconeggndcheez, @peanutbelley, @imogen-skye, @geekinthefuschiahair, @tvije, @drikawinchester, @maybankslover, @junnniiieee07, @elcpsstuff, @fangirl-kimora, @redbierd, @starkeylover

a/n: thank you so much for all the love on my conrad series so far! i love these characters and writing their stories, and it means so much that others are enjoying reading my work. there is one more part left and i promise it will be happier so stay tuned :)) i haven't watched the last two episodes of season 2, but i'm planning on writing a bit for that, too!! thank you x infinity ♡

part one | part two

i lost a friend / like keys in a sofa / like a wallet in the backseat / like ice in the summer heat (finneas, "i lost a friend")

now — summer, age 18

“you know, you guys aren’t fooling anyone.”

“and what exactly do you mean by that, steven?” you challenge, taking another sip of your soda. 

it’s the fourth of july and susannah invited you over for her annual celebration. susannah always hosted fun parties, so you were more than happy to accept because it meant eating some good food, listening to an upbeat playlist, watching some fireworks, and just relaxing. essentially, susannah always delivered the best of summer, rolled into a carefully planned event. 

the sun was shining, and everyone was having a good time, including you — at least, until you saw conrad and nicole in the pool, engaging in some serious PDA. you immediately got out of the pool and went to sulk near the drink table, where you were happily alone until steven came over to join you.

“i’m just saying, man. you and con are definitely going out of your way to prove that you’re mad at each other,” steven explains. “but we all know how much you care about each other.”

steven is right about the first part: you and conrad had done your best to avoid each other since the incident at nicole’s party and its fallout. if you and jeremiah had planned to go surfing and he invited conrad, you would always back out at the last minute. if you were over at the fishers helping belly pick out an outfit for a date with cam, conrad would conveniently stay in his room. not to mention, any time the two of you did cross paths — which was rare, but jeremiah and belly were persistent in requesting that all five of you spend time together, like the old days, they would say — it resulted in meaningless, petty arguments. the two of you had always been competitive and very comfortable teasing each other, but the difference was that now, your interactions were no longer good-natured.

you thought steven, belly, and jeremiah hadn’t noticed, but you should have given them more credit. to anyone who knew you, it was pretty obvious that something was up between you and conrad, even if they didn’t know what exactly it was.

“there’s a thin line between love and hate. and right now you guys are that line.”

“thank you for your insight,” you say sarcastically. “be sure to include that in your college essay — i’m sure princeton would love to have you.”

steven rolls his eyes at you, just as nicole arrives at the drink table.

“hey guys,” she greets. she reaches over to grab two cans of peach iced tea before you stop her. 

“conrad’s allergic to peaches,” you say. “so you might wanna get him something else.”

nicole looks at you for a second before nodding and reaching for a can of sprite instead. 

“thanks,” she says as she walks away. 

once she’s gone, steven gives you a pointed look.

“what?” you scoff. 

steven just shakes his head. “love and hate,” he muses, leaving you to join his parents and shayla near the pool. 

you then decide to go inside briefly, where you find belly and jeremiah, pouring vodka into a blender.

“we’re making pomegranate margaritas!” belly exclaims, practically giddy. 

“well, you gotta use the good blender for that.” conrad seems to appear out of nowhere from behind you, instantly reaching for the aforementioned good blender and placing it on the counter.

you were already in a sour mood from seeing him with nicole earlier, but belly looks at you with hopeful eyes, and you remember what steven said earlier, so you mentally promise that you would play nice with conrad. you owe belly and the others that much after being absent for so long: a carefree summer, just like the ones you used to know. 

you imagine that jeremiah sent conrad a similar pleading look because, miraculously, you and conrad don’t argue with each other as you help mix pomegranate margaritas for everyone. you actually engage in playful banter and laugh at the other’s jokes. you even feel sorry for him when his father, who wasn’t supposed to be here, walks in. you can feel the good mood slipping, so you suggest heading to the beach for a change of scenery.

belly had invited cam and a few more girls who are doing the debutante thing with her, and with steven bringing shayla and conrad bringing nicole (which, you are totally fine with, of course, especially after a pomegranate margarita), you had a pretty solid party forming on the beach, away from the adults. 

of all people, belly suggests some drinking games. it’s all a blur of sand, laughter, and vodka spiked fruit juice. once you were all the perfect amount of tired and tipsy, the group settles down, and gigi suggests a different game.

“we should play truth or dare.”

“oh my gosh we should!” belly smiles, tapping your leg enthusiastically. “remember? we used to play it all the time!”

you smile back. “of course i do.” 

when you were kids, you, belly, steven, jeremiah, and conrad would play truth or dare any chance you got. it was never very serious, mostly goofy pranks and harmless questions. you had all grown up since then, and somewhere along the way, truth or dare had become less innocent than it used to be.

“y/n,” one of the debs — dara, if you remembered correctly — turns to you. it was the first time your name had been called, and in all honesty, you were perfectly happy just sitting back in the sun and sipping the rest of your drink. “truth or dare?” 

you choose truth, mostly to avoid having to get up from your very comfortable seat on the sand.

“are you a virgin?”

your mouth suddenly feels dry. you’re not ashamed of your answer, but it doesn’t help that you can see conrad glaring at you from the corner of your eye. you take another sip of your drink before answering. 

“um, not really.” 

“it’s yes or no question,” nicole says. 

“then my answer’s no,” you declare.

“what?” belly screeches. she sits up straighter to turn towards you, and in the process spills some pomegranate margarita on her dress. “i can’t believe you had sex and didn’t tell me? when? with who? what was it like?” her cheeks are slightly flushed. a sober belly would have likely asked you in private, or at the very least, not in front of people you barely knew. in that moment, you almost regret the pomegranate margaritas.

almost. because maybe it’s the silence and everyone’s expectant stares, or the adrenaline you feel from winning most of the drinking games, or the effects of the drinks themselves, but you convince yourself that it’s as good a time as any to tell the story. a sober you would have known to tread more carefully given the context; that would have been about three pomegranate margaritas ago, though. 

“it’s kind of a cliche story, honestly,” you start. “it happened last summer. it was raining that night, so we were hanging out in the back of my teammate’s van, just talking, and one thing led to another….we didn’t plan to do anything, but we got caught in the heat of the moment.” you choose your words carefully, deliberately avoiding eye contact with conrad.

“how was it though?” belly asks, leaning in closer.

you shrug. “a little awkward, i guess? neither of us had sex before then, and we were both figuring stuff out. like, he couldn’t open the condom wrapper because he was so flustered, so i had to help him. it was nice, though,” you admit. “when the rain cleared, we went out to stargaze and fell asleep on the beach.”

belly sighs. “so romantic.”

“you’re right about it being cliche,” steven laughs. he has an arm thrown around shayla, and uses the other to gesture towards conrad. “conrad, man, that sounds almost exactly like your first time.”

you feel your entire body heat up, and it's not because of the sun shining down on you. conrad’s gaze finally meets yours — for a split second only, but it’s enough for steven to notice. 

“holy shit! it all makes sense now!” steven exclaims, suddenly standing up.

jeremiah frowns, looking between you, conrad, and steven. “what makes sense?”

“i’ve been trying to figure out why y/n and conrad have been so weird around each other this summer, but it’s obvious now: they lost their virginities to each other. they had sex!”

nicole stiffens and narrows her eyes at conrad. “you told me you never hooked up with y/n.”

“well, that’s definitely not true.”

“belly,” you warn, looking over to conrad once more. his cheeks are turning red, and you imagine a storm brewing beneath his dark blue eyes. 

“i don’t know about last summer,” belly continues, completely oblivious to the tension building. “but i do know that they kissed at your party.”

“i knew it,” nicole scoffs, pushing away from conrad. “i knew it.” with one last poisonous glare towards conrad, she storms off.

conrad sends you an equally poisonous look before chasing after her. the party dissolves shortly after.

feeling defeated, you lie back in the sand, close your eyes, and let the sun shine down on you once more, taking deep breaths to slow down your heart rate.

call it karma or a cruel twist of fate or just a really shitty coincidence, but you’re finally the one left alone on the beach.

then — summer, age 17

conrad was more than a little surprised to see your name appear on his phone. it wasn't like you were completely off the grid — you texted, though infrequently, and followed each other on socials. he scrolled through his instagram feed and saw the occasional picture of you wearing a costume at a halloween party or sipping hot chocolate on a snowy day. photos that never quite fit the image he had of you in his mind: in cutoff denim shorts and a swimsuit and layers of sunscreen, with sand in your hair and popsicle stains on your lips.

“hey,” he answered after only three rings. 

"hey fisher, any friday night plans?"

he told you he was working on his college essay.

“homework on a friday night in the middle of summer,” you tsked. “i never realized how much of a nerd you are.”

conrad laughed. “i mean, that’s on you for just realizing that.”

 “fair enough,” you hummed, and conrad could practically hear your smile through the phone. “if you’re in the mood for something more fun, look out your window.”

conrad wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but you standing in the driveway of his summer house was pretty low on the list. you waved at him frantically, telling him to hurry up and open his window.

he was still in awe as you climbed through. conrad tried to memorize the image of you then and there, standing in front of him in his bedroom: wearing dolphin shorts and a light jacket, with chipped turquoise nail polish and a bright smile.

"you drove all the way here?" 

"well, they haven't cracked the science behind teleportation yet," you say playfully. "so i didn't have many options."

"i can't believe you're here," conrad smiled, and that’s when you finally hugged him. he held on tightly, afraid you would leave at any moment if he let go. you smelled the same, like chlorine and vanilla sugar.

once you broke away from the hug, you pointed towards something behind him, pinned to his bulletin board. conrad followed your gaze and felt his cheeks heat up.

“i missed you, too, connie,” you teased, eyes lingering on the newspaper clipping of your swim team making it to nationals thanks to your record time. 

“mom showed it to me,” he explained, the smile on your face making his heart beat out of his chest. “she’s so proud of her little mermaid.”

your smile fell, just a bit, but enough for conrad to notice a shift in your mood. you always did a good job at hiding the weight of the world on your shoulders, at least around the others. not so much around him.

you sighed and sat down on his bed. “you know, after that swim meet, my dad lectured me about not being fast enough,” you explained. “winning by only a millisecond apparently wasn’t enough to impress college scouts, at least according to him.”

“your dad’s a jerk,” conrad said instantly. he sat down next to you. “and an idiot, if he can’t see how amazing you are.”

“thanks, connie,” you whispered. it looked like you were going to say more; instead, you picked up his laptop. “wow, you weren’t kidding when you said you were working on your college essay. you really are a nerd.”

“shut up,” conrad laughed, nudging you with his shoulder and trying to grab the laptop from you.

you nudged him back. “it’s a compliment! schools go crazy for trust fund nerds.”

“yeah, yeah.” conrad waved you off. “so, you’re in cousins for the summer?”

all you did was smile softly and close the laptop, finally handing it back to him.

conrad’s heart burst with joy. because not only were you there — finally there, after all that time away — but you were staying. his mom would always muse about summers in cousins being magical, but conrad didn’t quite believe her until you were gone and he felt that magic fade away. 

“do you wanna go downstairs? belly’s watching it happened one night with my mom and laurel.”

“as much as i love susannah’s favourite movie,” you started, and conrad’s heart soared again at you remembering his mom’s favourite movie. “i thought maybe it could just be the two of us tonight? maybe we could go for a drive.”

that’s how the two of you ended up at mermaid grove — a secluded stretch of beach about an hour away from your houses. it was near the mall your mothers sometimes went to, and during one of those excursions when you were young, all the kids wandered off and found it. the only time you’d been there was during the day and with jeremiah, belly, steven, and your siblings, so it felt different then, at night with just the two of you.

it started raining on the drive over — which only took 45 minutes without traffic — so you were hanging out in the back of your van. the van actually belonged to one of your teammate’s cousin who was somewhat of a hippie, you said, which explained the smell of weed and bohemian decor — battery powered rainbow fairy lights, colourful pillows, an elaborately patterned tapestry. the space was definitely intimate, or maybe it felt that way because you and conrad were sitting as close as possible to each other, shoulders touching and one of your legs tangled with his. he was scrolling through the pictures on your phone of your last swim meet in california, where you'd gotten the chance to visit stanford, while you were peeling an orange. 

"you would love it there, connie,” you gushed. you dug your fingers into the orange peel, and the smell of citrus started to fill the air. “the beaches are beautiful and the waves are amazing. it’s like, always summer.” 

conrad sometimes felt like summer was the only season of the year that he was truly awake, truly living. everything else felt like a dream, one that he would always describe to you in mundane detail; conrad even kept a small journal throughout the year, writing things down that he needed to tell you once you reunited every june. but one journal had turned to two, almost three, and conrad was trying really hard to not resent you for that.

“anyways, i think i’m going to apply in the fall.”

conrad stopped scrolling through your phone, pausing at a picture you had taken of a lemon tree. “doesn’t your dad have princeton lined up?”

“you make it sound like he bought my way in, when it was actually hours and hours and hours of training to get that scholarship. on the national best swim team.” you mimicked your father’s patronising tone for that last part; conrad hadn’t seen him in years, and he could still recognize it. 

“you’re right, though. my dad would flip his shit. even if i got in with a scholarship, it’s so far away and i have the twins to look after, but a girl can dream, right?”

“i feel that,” conrad assured. you gave him a sad smile, knowing that his dad was as intense about football as yours was about swimming. the worst part was that you both loved your respective sports, until they became a burden. you both had other burdens to deal with, too, when it came to your families. 

“in an ideal world, the two of us wouldn’t have to worry about anything else. we’d live in a place by the beach, surf every day, and hang out in the sun while sipping ice-cold, fresh lemonade.” just like we used to, conrad added in his head.

“in an ideal world,” you agreed. “we’d also adopt four dogs, each named after one of the beatles. you can teach them how to play the guitar.”

conrad laughed. “if i couldn’t teach you, there is no way i can teach one dog, let alone four.”

“well, they wouldn’t get distracted by your dreamy blue eyes like i did.” you winked at conrad, and handed him the freshly peeled orange before he even had time to blush.

“take it,” he protested. “you drove all this way — you should eat something.”

you shook your head and placed the orange in his hand before you pulled out another fruit from your bag. “i picked some of these up on the way here — best peaches on the east coast.” you took a big bite. “remember the summer we found out that you had a mild peach allergy?” you asked, juice dripping down your chin. you wiped it with the sleeve of the varsity jacket you wore.

conrad laughed at the memory. belly and steven had brought back candy from their trip to toronto. conrad practically inhaled an entire bag of fuzzy peaches, and didn’t realize that they weren’t supposed to make your mouth itchy — the “fuzzy” part wasn’t literal. that felt like so long ago, but there you and conrad were, settling back into each other like no time had passed.

as the night grew darker, you and conrad shifted closer to each other. conrad ate orange slice after orange slice as you devoured your peach, all while looking through the photos on your phone. you’d occasionally interject with a short story or comment, and there were still raindrops falling on the roof, but for the most part, there was nothing but a comfortable silence between you. 

you moved to wrap the orange peel and peach pit in a napkin, just as conrad swiped onto a photo of someone kissing your cheek.

“who’s that?”

you leaned over to check. “oh. that’s sam.”

“are you dating?” conrad asked, trying to seem casual about it. just a friend asking another friend about their romantic situation. as a friend. 

“we were,” you explained, sitting back next to him. “they broke up with me a few months ago.”

conrad sighed in relief, which he hoped you didn’t notice. “sorry.”

you shrugged. “it’s fine. apparently i’m emotionally distant.”

that wasn’t much of a surprise to conrad. sam might have been an idiot for breaking up with you, but they were spot on with the emotionally distant part. out of all the time you’d known each other, conrad had only seen you cry once, maybe twice. you were usually the one wiping away tears and putting on a brave face, inadvertently, or maybe purposefully, hiding your own vulnerability. 

still, that wasn’t something conrad was about to stir up.

“what? you?” he joked instead.

“shut up,” you said, rolling your eyes, but the wry smile on your face gave you away. “how about you? broke any hearts this past year?”

conrad thought for a moment. there was aubrey, who his football teammate said had a major crush on him. they had been texting for a while now, and were on the edge of maybe becoming something. but then, there you were, stirring up feelings conrad had long buried — or, at least, tried to. if part of his head was always in summer, then part of his heart always belonged to you. 

“no.”

“got your heart broken?”

he thought back to a few weeks ago, when he ran into your mom at the grocery store, and she said you wouldn’t be coming to cousins again that summer. you hadn’t spoken at all to each other for a month or two before that.

“no,” he lied.

you hummed, and took your phone away from him. 

“wanna hear something trippy?” you asked suddenly. you always had a knack for changing the course of a conversation to where you wanted it to go.

“what?”

“well, since it takes a while for light from space to reach us, when we stargaze, we’re actually looking back in time. like, the star that’s closest to earth — other than the sun — is four light years away. or is it five?” you paused. “anyways, if the sky was clear and we could see that star, it would mean we’d actually be looking at that star from summer, five years ago.”

“very trippy,” conrad agreed. “it’s like a cosmic time machine.”

you hummed. “do you ever wonder what our past selves back then, at like 12 or 13, would think of us now? i think about those summers and how magical they felt.” 

magical. you turned to smile at him softly, and conrad couldn't help but agree.

“i always thought you’d be my first kiss,” you whispered. 

that threw conrad off guard, and it took him a few seconds to regain balance. the van suddenly felt too small and the lingering scent of fruit shared between you two, mixed with the familiar smell of chlorine and vanilla from how close you were sitting to him, became overwhelming. his heart was beating out of his chest — not because he didn’t feel the same way, but because he did.

conrad knew what his 13 year old self would think of him now: he’d be up in arms over his awkward pause, screaming to finally tell you how he felt then, and how those feelings hadn’t really left. how you made him feel safe, excited, confused and angry. how there was a space in his heart just for you, and it was painfully empty when you left, but now that you’re there again —

“sorry,” you said, cutting through the silence. you subtly shifted away from conrad. “i didn’t mean to make things weird.”

“you didn’t,” conrad answered instantly. he registered how you were now slightly hunched over and brought your knees to your chest, how you bit your lip and avoided eye contact — a few hints that you felt uncomfortable, deflated even at his lack of response. 

so, he moved closer to you and gently placed a hand on your knee. 

“you didn’t make things weird,” conrad assured once more. you were brave, he decided: for a lot of things you did, but right then for being so honest, so vulnerable. it inspired him to do the same. “i mean, this might make things weird, but i always thought you’d be my first…you know. at least, ever since i knew what sex even was.”

you finally turned towards him, your lips slightly parted. 

“yeah,” you breathed. “me too.”

conrad’s eyes flicked to your lips, then back to your eyes. 

“do you still want to —”

“yes. i - i mean, no pressure, but if you still want to —”

“i do.”

you smiled then and conrad felt himself do the same. 

when you kissed for the first time, it was like rainclouds parted and the stars came out, shining bright in infinite darkness. the two of you became tangled up in each other: you sat in his lap, legs on either side of his waist, your chests pressed together and your fingers tangled in his hair, which drove him crazy. conrad let his hands explore your body, gently grazing the skin under your shirt. his lips tingled from the remnants of peach juice on yours, but he kept kissing you. 

it was awkward and exhilarating at the same time. you asked each other if what you were doing felt good and right and were slightly embarrassed if the answer was no, but still adjusted if needed. at one point, conrad was fumbling with the condom wrapper and you had to open it with your teeth; he jokingly pointed out how you used to do the same with packs of sour patch kids and you giggled before kissing him again.

the two of you lay down on the floor once you were done. your head rested on conrad’s chest and he had his arm around you, idly tracing shapes on your skin with his fingertips. he craned his neck down to look at you.

even in the dim lighting and after years apart, you looked the same. even if you’d never been that close before, at least not in the same way you had just been, you felt familiar. 

you tilted you head towards him and smiled. 

“what?” 

there was something about the way you looked at him that still made him blush, and conrad hoped that with the lack of bright light, you wouldn’t notice. 

“sounds like the rain stopped,” he said. “wanna go stargazing?”

it was slightly chilly, so you let conrad borrow your varsity jacket, even if it didn’t fit perfectly. the sky was clear and full of stars. you spent the rest of the night there together, on the beach. 

in the morning, conrad woke up before you. he watched as you took slow, deep breaths with your eyes still closed. you looked so peaceful — until the sound of your alarm prompted you to wake up.

“shit,” you exhaled, your eyes wide once you noticed the sun had risen. “what time is it?” 

you searched frantically for your phone, only to find it right next to you.

“shit,” you repeated once you checked the time. you stood up right away, sand kicking from underneath your feet. “this is bad.”

“what —”

conrad didn’t have time to even ask you what was wrong because you bolted to the van. he followed you.

“what’s wrong?”

you looked at conrad, brows furrowed. “i have to go. i don’t want to leave you, but i have to go.”

“it’s okay,” conrad reassured. he stepped closer to you and placed a hand on your cheek. “i’ll be here when you get back.”

“i’m…” you step away from him. “i’m not coming back.”

“what do you mean?” he tried to steady his voice, but a dangerous mix of hurt and anger threatened to wash over him. conrad’s heart dropped, knowing all too well what was likely coming next, but he hoped, wished, that it wouldn’t be like before.

“i’ve got a swim meet in boston,” you exhaled. “but i can drive you home on my way there.”

“you’ll come back to cousins after,” conrad declared, as if saying it out could change what would happen next. “you said you’d be here for the summer.” 

you shrugged, stumbling over your words. “technically, i didn’t say that. you just assumed and — ”

“and you wanted me to believe it, right?”

you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “just — let me drive you home, connie.”

the use of his childhood nickname — the one he secretly despised, except when it came from you — was what made him snap.

“i should have known,” he snarled. “god, i should have known. you don’t care about me, about us. swimming over everything, right?”

“that’s not true.” your eyes opened, but you still wouldn’t meet his gaze. “i do care, but you know the pressure i’m under —”

“fine. you want to talk about pressure?” conrad laughed, bitterly, all his frustration bleeding out and pooling at your feet. “my mom had cancer, and you couldn’t even be there for me. texts and phone calls only do so much when you’re watching the woman who raised you wither away to nothing.”

your eyes softened slightly, finally looking at him. you took a step forward, but conrad took another two back. 

“conrad —”

 “no. don’t,” he snapped, making you stop. “why did you even come here?”

“i was close by and…” you paused. “i guess i just needed to come back, even just for a bit.” 

"figures," conrad scoffed. “you only care when it’s convenient.” 

“that’s not true,” you repeated. 

conrad waited a second for you say something more, but you didn’t. 

“well, i’m really glad you got what you needed,” he mocked. “tell me, does nostalgia and sex help you swim faster? impress college scouts? make daddy proud of you?” 

you stiffened slightly. “don’t be an asshole.”

“no, no. congratulations!” he clapped to emphasize his point. “i’m so glad i could help you! guess you just needed a quick fuck before your big competition for some good luck. hope it works out in your favour.”

there was so much venom laced in his words, and he could tell you noticed. you looked at him like he was a stranger. 

“fuck you,” you finally said. your voice was shaking slightly and it looked like tears were forming in your eyes. “you can walk home, for all i care.” 

without another word, you got into the car and drove away. conrad watched your car become smaller in the distance as he stood alone at the beach, wearing your jacket and replaying every word he said.

now 

it’s hours after susannah’s fourth of july celebration. the adrenaline and alcohol from early wore off, and you’re sitting on your front porch, sipping tea from your favourite mug. you were hoping to relax, but the sight of conrad fisher storming up to you threatens that.

“where do you get off, saying what you did earlier?” 

even under the low light of the porch, you can see that his face is red with anger. he came here to argue, but you’re too tired to really care.

“well, shit, conrad,” you sigh. “don’t blame me. blame — blame truth or dare and pomegranate margaritas and steven for being so goddamn perceptive.” 

“you lied,” he accuses, crossing his arms. “you said you didn’t tell belly about us kissing at nicole’s party.”

“at least i didn’t lie to my girlfriend,” you point out, your voice dull from exhaustion. conrad is momentarily at a loss for words, furrowing his brow even further, so you decide to steer the conversation in another direction — away. “look, i just had to pick up my drunk mother from the bar, so i’m really not in the mood for this conversation.”

you move to leave, but conrad grabs your left wrist before you reach the door. the sudden action startles you, and you release the mug you were holding in your right hand. it falls to the ground, the break clean, and the rest of your tea spills onto the porch. you exhale sharply, turning back to face conrad.

“i don’t care,” he snaps. “you fucked up earlier today. you never should have mentioned that night. talking about it like it actually meant something to you.”

“you know what, conrad? maybe it’s hard for you to believe, but that night actually meant something to me.” you laugh bitterly, feeling more awake than before. “and, yeah, now i’ve spent so much time regretting it. because maybe i hoped that we’d start dating, but even if that didn’t happen, i never expected to lose my best friend.”

conrad rolls his eyes. “i don’t know how you can stand there and call me your best friend. best friends don’t leave each other —”

“fine, i did leave,” you interrupt. your voice is slightly raised, and you can’t help but feel a new rush of adrenaline flowing through your veins. the fact that conrad is standing in front of you, suggesting that you were the one to blame for the hostility between you — that made you frustrated, angry, even. 

“i had other shit going on,” you continue. “and maybe i didn’t handle the situation well at first — that’s on me, sure. but i wasn’t the one who ignored texts and sent calls straight to voicemails. i’m not the one who’s spending the summer avoiding everyone who knows them because they’re too scared of others finding out the truth. i don’t know who you are this summer, but i know the real you, conrad.”

“no, you don’t.”

by now, you’ve walked closer, standing only a few inches in front of him. if you reached out, you’d be able to brush the bangs away from his forehead, but you don’t. 

“i do know you,” you assert. “in fact, i hate how much i know you. i know that “yesterday” by the beatles is your favourite song, and the first one you learned on the guitar. i know that you’re crazy good at chess, but let jeremiah win sometimes when your dad is watching. i know that you love playing football, but hate that you’re expected to play it. i know that i hurt you last year, so you had to ignore me because that was easier than admitting how you really feel because — because you’re scared.” 

“you’re wrong.” conrad stares at you, his gaze heavy on yours. 

you shake your head. “i know that you didn’t tell anyone about what happened between us because it meant something to you. and that really scares you, too.” 

“you’re…you’re wrong.” conrad’s voice wavers a bit, his eyes soften ever so slightly, and you know you’ve struck a chord. 

“i’m not,” you say. “and, honestly? i’m so fucking tired of waiting for you to realize that. i don’t care anymore. whatever was between us during all those summers, it's obviously not here anymore."

“you’re wrong,” he’s like a broken record, stuck on the same lyric. 

"stop blaming me for fucking this up," you continue. "it's your mess, too, conrad. and i’m so fucking tired."

it’s late, and it’s dark, and you can’t bring yourself to stay here anymore. without saying anything else, you step over the broken porcelain of your favourite mug and into your house, leaving conrad alone on your poorly lit porch.

when the sun rises and you go outside in the morning, the pieces are gone. 

[velvet-paradox]

Intense

Fandom: Sleep Token (Band) Pairing: Vessel x Female reader x III Length: Long Summary: Your eepy roommates suggest they can help you out. Warnings: NSFW 18 + ONLY, LISTEN UP PUNK I know what I'm about ok and I shouldn't even have to to explain this but for ffs this is for funsies, fictional purposes only. I don't know these British men and I don't claim to! But am I having an absolute ball listening to them everyday day since I heard Dark Signs??? Absolutely. I have not and will not know peace on Earth ever again so with that being said... my lizard brain wants to shoot my shot and get sandwiched between Vessel and III (purely based off their on stage personas) and I'm pretty sure all us worshippers would enjoy kneeling and begging for forgiveness for all the eepy guys. DON'T LIE TO ME; I'll know. ;) One late night thot lead us down this path so here ya' go, we've got: strong language, explicit content, MFM relations, polyamorous activities, kissing, oral (m receiving), p in v, protected sex, unprotected sex (don't do it!), double vaginal, dirty talking, creampie III is a mess, Vessel is along for the ride and you're indulging in the spoils of detailed smut. Tagging: @synnersaint my ride or die

ENJOY!!!

You stare at the red numbers on the clock next to your bed. You blink.

Unfortunately unfazed by the hum-drum pace and the position you've found yourself in.

Ugh, how did this happen again?

The man on top of you, circling his hips against your own, balls deep in your cunt should be fun, exciting, a turn-on at least but you just laid there, once again, taking it but not getting anything out of it. You faked it the last three times just to get him to get off you, out of your apartment and out the door so you could finish yourself off with some post nut clarity. Which is what you should've done in the first place.

The first time you had sex with him, you chalked it up to nerves. It'd been a few months for him and a bit longer for you at this point. The second time you excused it as you did go out for drinks earlier in the night and the last one was just plain awful. No foreplay, bit your neck too hard and pretty much gave you a titty-twister which was not fun; at all.

But he's nice! And funny, easy to talk to you and here you are, making more excuses for a man who can't even get you off. This is just pathetic, girl.

You felt bad faking your enthusiasm but even as you moved in unison with him, hearing him huff and grate out oh my fucking god for the fifth time, he didn't even have a clue.

So you dialed it up, two more minutes had passed with him just thrusting inside you, he didn't even notice you weren't as wet as before. What a fucking disaster.

You sighed and made your O face, biting your lip and holding his waist, the slapping of skin sped up briefly before he pulled out with a groan of your name, panting as he jerked himself, tore off the condom and came on the inside of your thigh.

Fucking finally.

Your date was quick to get dressed, mentioning something about an early shift change. He gave you chaste kiss on the corner of your mouth, cupping your face as an afterthought as you followed him out of your bedroom.

"I'll text you when I get home. I-- oh!"

You bounced against his back, stunned as to why he's just stopped like that when you peer around his frame. There on the couch in your living room sat your roommates.

"Oh my-- what are you guys doing home?" You asked, frantically looking between the two sober faces and their luggage by the front door. Well more like the painted chin of one and the eyes of the other. You were hyperaware of the drying cum on your leg and crossed your fingers and toes they didn't hear your activities or what remained to be seen.

"We live here, remember?" Vessel waved one of his hands, III nodding along.

"When you said you had roommates I just assumed they were other girls." Your bedfellow side talked to you as to not alert your boys.

"Is that a problem?" You asked.

"No I just uh," he looked at III when he stood, an attempt to intimidate. "It's fine um... I'll call you."

"Well that was rude," Vessel announced, joining his brother after he left. "Didn't even introduce himself."

"He won't be around for long. I wouldn't worry about it." You dryly chuckled before embracing both of them. Vessel cupped the back of your head, pressing his chin into your hair before letting III swoop you up in his gangly arms and gave you two solid spins. "Put me down! You reek."

"Ah, the mask has seen better days I'm afraid. Can't wait to get a hot shower and something in my belly. Road livin' ain't what its' cracked up to be, ya' know?" III admitted.

"Um, let me get changed and I'll make you guys some food," you jogged out of the living room, calling over your shoulder. "Lord knows what you boys eat on the road!" ....

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," You paused the movie and turned to face Vessel on the chaise lounge part of the couch, long limbs sprawled out, ankles crossed and rocking. "What's up?"

Vessel twisted his painted mouth before asking an out of pocket question. "Why do you torture yourself?"

Taken aback you wondered what he meant and crossed your legs. "What? What do you mean?"

"I think you know what I mean." When you showed your genuine confusion, he sat up. "Your little boy toy. Not that III and I have been cheeky little perverts and eavesdropping on your late night escapades but... we can't help but be concerned. Either you're a silent climaxer, some people are and that's totally fine and we're bold to assume or your partner isn't doing it right."

"Excuse me?"

"We've only been home a few weeks and we've heard him far more than we've heard you," Vessel explained, ignoring your anxious fidgeting and cuticle picking. "What we have heard though, is a lot of buzzing after your friend leaves."

Oh. My. God.

Your heart is hammering in your chest, desperate to get out of, out of your body and on the run. Blood pounds in your ears at the audacity of this whole conversation. Your roommates have heard you getting off, know you have toys, know your friends with benefits is lacking the benefits part and that you'd not been taken care of. You wished it was still cooler out and you could grab the usual throw off the back of the couch and hide away underneath.

"What are you guys talkin' about?" III popped in, holding a glass of chocolate milk, an absurdly long and coiled straw was hidden beneath his mask as he sucked dramatically.

Vessel smirked. "Oh just Y/N and how her new beau can't get her off."

"Oh finally! I've been dying for this conversation," III exclaimed and excited plopped down next to Vessel, scooching closer and leaning forward as he drank some more. "So what gives? Give us the goods."

"I don't... he knows what he's doing, it's just--"

"It's just he's bad at it." III giggled.

"I can get off, okay?"

"Yeah, we know that. Just not with him."

"I... fine. It might not even be him you know," you tried. "Maybe it's me. Maybe I can't get out fast enough."

Vessel quirked his mouth. "Get out of what exactly?"

"My own head. I think too much, you know that. I need to feel everything in order to shut my brain off and not worry about how many loads of laundry I need to do, when I need to switch out my sheets, did I pick up my towel in the bathroom? What should I have for lunch tomorrow."

The boys looked between themselves, shrugging and looking bewildered. "You... you think about all that stuff all while having sex?" III snorted and shook his head. "You're a madwoman, you know that?"

"I'm trying not to think of those things!"

"That's what I was afraid of," Vessel took III's now finished drink away from him and set it down. "If you want, we could help you out. Save you the trouble and the energy and uh, some battery power."

You chuckled. "You're joking. You two are gonna' help me out."

"Just say the word and we belong to you," Vessel crooned, licking his top lip. The pink of his tongue was such a juxtaposition to he obsidian black that covered his face, his arms and hands, his body. "This could be a one time deal, if it's not up to your standards, we don't have to mention it ever again or... it could be a three times a week sort of thing."

"Three times a week?!" You screeched.

"That's up to you."

....

"So uh have you guys like... done this before?" Your voice doesn't even sound like your own, shaky, breathy, uneven and higher pitched. You pointed between the duo and yourself. You hadn't but your incognito search history might say you've looked at it a few times.

They admitted their deep rooted feelings about you. Your stomach flipped for Vessel's breathy pet name of Duchess, your toes curled for III's Sweetness. 

With the way they looked at you, you couldn't even remember his name at this point.

Vessel shrugged. "Just with you."

"Just me?" You balked, you knew the guys were close, sometimes skin tight so to find out they'd not acted out was stunning and a major green light. "Oh um, I'm flattered. iI think."

"You should be. III isn't much of a talker, speaks his mind when need be."

"Unless its' dirty." III piped up with a shrug of his own, with the way his eyes wrinkled you could tell he was all smiles under that mask.

"A little tact there, brother!" Vessel scolded him, giving a backhand to his arm. "Don't scare her off."

"What? She should know. You should know. I am dripping with sin."

"III!"

"What? We're all adults here, right? An' we're talking about fucking each other so who cares?! And she might even like it. Do you like dirty talk, sweetness?" III asked with a tilt of his head.

"Uh I um... I. Well..."

"Do you," III stood and got closer, much closer, swaying his way to close the gap between you. He stood with his legs on the outside of your own. He tilted his head the opposite way and kept his eyes trained your face, the heat from the eye contact made you hot. His painted thumb touched your chin. "Like that?"

You'd never felt this kind of intimacy, this heightened level of attraction and arousal and it made you nervously laugh at the thought that it was radiating off your friends like a fucking forest fire.

You swallowed. "Yes."

"Aha! Knew it. Those pretty eyes and that fucking mouth are hiding plenty of secrets, yeah?" III pointed, that thumb of his traced along your jaw before pushing gently on the underside, making you look all the way up at him.

If they wanted to play, you thought, I guess... let's play.

"Maybe."

"Oh! Now we're getting somewhere," III chuckled and looked over at Vessel before touching your shoulder, moving the strap of your sleep shirt back and forth. His hands were hot, scorching your skin as he touched the light fabric. "Should I undress you or should you undress me? Or maybe Vessel wants to unwrap us both. What do you think?"

"I think--" your throat constricted before keeping his ardent eye contact. "I think I want to undress you first."

III liked that idea, he wiggled his shoulders and raised his arms. "I'm all yours, mama."

....

His hoodie is the first thing to go, floating down to the floor. A black compression shirt separates flesh and bone, it comes off easily over his head. He's only half painted there. You can see streaks of his skin, soft and smooth, hidden from view. His stomach tightens when you trail your hand down his chest, foreign to your hands.

"I think about you, ya' know? Not to be pervy or bold but... you are the prettiest thing we've ever seen."

His compliments make you warm, you clench around nothing.

He suddenly grabs your hand and moves it higher. "Feel that. You make my heart fuckin' pound like crazy. The first time I saw you in that green sundress, you know, the one with the little daises on it... fuck me," III admitted and dramatically bit his fist. "I've never been so hard in my life!"

You know the dress in question. It's hanging in the front of your closet. Guess it'll be making a debut and turn III on once again. 

"Oh yeah? Well maybe next time I wear it... I won't wear anything underneath."

III made the deepest of groans, moving your hand down his ribs while he undid his belt. "Fuckin' hell, don't tease me woman."

"You don't like that?"

"I like it too much! That's the problem."

His zipper was so fucking loud, it cut through the room like a hot knife. Smooth and seamless, even Vessel had to clear his throat. You looked over at him on the chaise, legs wide spread, lithe arms outstreatched over the back cushions. With three separate eye holes in his mask, it was hard to tell where he was looking but in this moment you felt them boring straight into your own.

"Keep going," he hummed and visibly bit his lip. " 'm enjoying the show."

With III was just in his boxers, it was your turn. Your disrobing would be a lot quicker as you were in a light pajama set and crew socks. You mmiiced III and raised your arms above your head, his nimble fingers danced over your sides, dragging the material up and over your head. He tossed to Vessel, who out of your peripheral, had inhaled your scent on it. He did the same with your shorts. The rush of cool fan air make your skin prickle, your clit throbbed when you fully noticed the outline of III's cock. Jesus. 

III got on his knees and lifted one your feet, gripping your ankle.

"No. Keep them on." Vessel spoke, pushing himself up off the couch and sauntered over to you, fully nude and on display. He embraced your face, pressing his forehead to yours before slinking behind III when he stood.

Vessel's painted arms looped around III's, locking them behind his back. III made a noise.

"Take him out," Vessel instructed with a low gasp. "Take him out and see what you do to him. Same as what you do to me. Hell, all of us, duchess."

ALL OF US?!

Before you got on your own knees, you touched III's hips, hooking your thumbs just beneath the fabric and dragged them down. His cock made the softest and prettiest thud against his lower belly. Your eyes bounced from their faces, down to his leaking cock and back again.

"He wasn't lying," Vessel chuckled, his chin now draped over III's shoulder. You met his eyes. "You make him rock fuckin' hard, love. Want her to take all o' that? Nah... you need her to take care of that, don't you?"

"Fuck yes." III whined. "Please."

"How are you gonna' help our good boy, love?"

III shook before your even touched him, you on your knees before him was enough to have him looking frantic. Completely at your and Vessel's mercy, you took him in your hand first, getting familiar with his length before dipping your head in worship, opening your mouth. You hesitated for the briefest of moments before angling him deeper and further into your mouth.

It was a good thing Vessel was holding him up because you felt and saw III's knees wobble once you got your stride, gliding your hands up and around his thighs, arching closer with your fingers reaching his ribcage. Your palms against his skin felt every twitch, every jolts, every fucking sigh. The noise that strangled out from his throat when you dragged your nails down his stomach had you clenching around absolutely nothing.

"That's it, you're doing such a good job, love bug. Atta' girl, get 'em off real good, yeah?"

"Yeah yeah, fuck yeah," III whined and bucked his hips, "Your mouth feels so fucking good. Suckin' me off real sweet, mama. Give it to me."

"She's good with that mouth, hmmm?"

"Oh fuck V...wait 'til she oh shit, right there-- wait 'til she's gaggin' on you. O-oh my God."

When III took the Lord's name in vain it sounded so sweet in comparison to your other lover. You could feel yourself getting wetter, more powerful than you ever had with him. You took their words of praise, locked them in a little safe in the back of your mind for safe keeping.

"You're lucky I don't shove your ass out of the way then." Vessel teased and III mewled with delight.

....

III made grabby hands at you, wiggling his fingers as he laid out on the chaise part of the couch. He wiggled, tapped and pointed towards his mouth too.

When you climbed on top of him, his arms engulfed you, bringing you chest to chest. You kissed his face over his mask, startled when he suddenly pulled the chin part of it up to his nose and kissed you for real. You whined and kissed him back harder and faster, tasting his mouth, licking inside of it. He smacked and grabbed your ass, groaning against your lips.

"You two are fuckin divine," Vessel breathed, shouldering off his robe finally, unzipping his own jeans. "Fuckin’ hell, what a sight."

You turned your head to his silky voice, watching him stroke himself.

You were in big fucking trouble.

III nipped your arm. "Want you. I want you so fucking badly. Think it'll fit? Think you can take it?"

You took a breath and held his cock, hot and ready against your pussy. Rocking against the crown, splitting your lips to ready you for him. You licked your lips and lowered down on it, your mouth instantly opening. "Fuck yes."

"Good God!" 

"Shit... a little more, love and you'll take him all the way in. That's it." Vessel cooed and pet your head, then your face. "Kiss him again."

With his heavy hand on your head you kissed III tongue first, the sounds of you two kissing had Vessel praising both of you, leaving him breathless.

III grabbed your hips, rolling and fucking up into you, breathing you in.

You and III stilled at the sudden dip of the couch.

Vessel's hand on your shoulder, his other ghosted and trailed over III's mask and vulnerable chin and mouth behind you. He lost it at that, whimpering against your cheek, a new flood of arousal coating your walls.

"Just relax pretty girl. We've got you, we got you."

"What are you--"

Vessel's thick fingers reached around your front, pressing and swirling down around your clit. "We're both gonna' fit. Just remember to breathe for us, ok?"

Holy shit. This was intense.

III's arm surged up and over your shoulder to touch Vessel, ghosting over his naked hip, gripping his bare skin.

"I've got you both. Trust me."

It was your idea to lift up, empty of III only to arch and take a deep push of Vessel. You frowned and touched III's face when Vessel pulled completely out. You both gasped when he spat. III squirmed and whined, the sudden intrusion of Vessel lining them both up against your hole, wedging their cocks inside you.

It didn't necessarily hurt, more pressure than anything and for fucks sake, you'd never felt so full in your life. 

"Fuck V! Give us a warning, holy fuck." III breathed when the frontman started to rock and move. After a few minutes of fucked out bliss, it seemed like Vessel was fucking III through your body.

He smeared his face along your spine, your shoulder, leaving wet open mouthed kisses along your neck and ear.

"Good fucking God duchess, you are absolutely soaked for us, aren't you? Can feel you really start to open up for us now, yeah? Fuck you're amazing. Isn't she?"

"Ye-yeah yeah. Positively sweet," III's eyes sparkled in an amorous way. You kissed him hard. "Can't wait to have a taste of you, sweetness."

The thought of him working his mouth on you made you keen and fuck down on them.

Limbs twisted and tangled, Vessel nipped a small, incredibly sensitive spot behind your ear before licking the shell of it. Humming and praising you with that gravely timber. He was touching you, holding onto one of your tits for stability and III did the same, using just the pad of his thumb to pebble your other nipple.

You would never recover, that much you were sure of. They were out for pain and pleasure.

On a particularly hard thrust from III your moan slipped into sex drunk chuckle. "I think she likes it."

"I'm in fuckin' heaven." You breathed, reaching back to touch Vessel's thigh, digging your nailbeds in deep.

"That's it, you fuckin' naughty thing." His hand left your breast and found a new home around your throat, turning your head to face him and receive a sloppy kiss. III moaned at that.

"You two are fuckin-- ah shit. I'm close, fuck. Give it, give it to me."

Vessel's laugh against your lips made your walls constrict.

"Just like that!" III practically yelled, digging his fingers into your thighs, alternating to your hips, changing the tortuous pace. "Fuck, 'm gonna' bust, sweetness. Fuckin' cum inside you all nice and deep. Make it stick."

"Fuck me." You hung your head and rode it out, nothing but pure pleasure and bliss was shared between the three of you. And it was worth it. "Oh you guys... aha! I'm gonna' cum."

You couldn't remember the last time you came that hard with a partner and never with two! They both rubbed their hands and mouths over your skin, groping over your sandwiched body. Vessel's chest stuck to your back like glue, III grabbed and pushed both of your breasts together as he came shortly after with a grunt of your name, stringing along a beautiful array of obscenities. 

"I've got you, I've got you both in my clutches now." Vessel's voice sounded like silk on glass next to your ear as he continued to thrust, spearing III's load all over your gummy walls. III reached out a lazy hand and Vessel took it, lacing their fingers together over your shoulder. 

Skin on skin on skin.

III leaned up for another smooch with you greedily enjoyed, smacking your spit and lips together until all you could feel and hear was Vessel shudder behind you.

....

Vessel couldn't stop smiling as you giggled, helped to your bedroom, wedged between them on your bed as they cleaned you up. You would certainly need to clean up that side of the couch later. III was careful of your more tender bits, being stretched out and filled, removing black grease paint of where they were.

He drummed his fingers over your arms when he was finished, molding his body to yours. His head against the side of your neck. III soon joined in the snuggle, jumping into bed and under the covers with you. He gave you another kiss before pulling his mask back down, and pet Vessel's head.

Your phone buzzed when your boys had fallen asleep, you had a feeling of who it might be and if this is how the future looked; there was no way you were gonna' give this up.

[h-c-u]

The Youngest Student

Summary: You're left without a nanny last second, so you decide to take your daughter to class with you.

Pairing: profesor Toto Wolff x PhD fem!reader

W/C: 1.5k

Rating: PG, age gap (reader is in late 20s)

A/N: I was about to write part 6 of No Longer a Secret, but this short blurb kinda... happened. So, I'm sorry to anyone who might be waiting for the next part. I promise it's in the works <3  I know Daisy's age is not specified, but I see her as being... 5-6 months old :) Also - it's inspired by >>this<<

Masterlist | List of tags

You were about to call your nanny, but a text from her came in just as you were grabbing your phone. 

"I'm really sorry for letting you know so late, but I won't be able to make it today. On my way to your house, me and I sister got into an accident, and my arm is broken. We're currently in the hospital, but there is no chance I will make it." 

After reading the message, you wanted to instantly call Cassie to see how she was doing; you cared much more about her health than her services as a nanny, although during the last four months, she was a godsend. But even before you dialed her number, you realized that she was probably scared and calling her family to let them know what happened, so instead of being one more conversation, you opted out for a short message. 

"Don't worry about us. I just hope that you and your sister are ok. Please, let me know if there is anything I could do, and in the meantime - focus on getting better."

After that, you quickly shot a message to the father of your child, but he didn't reply, and if you didn't want to be late for your only lecture of the day, you had to leave soon. For a moment you considered not going and staying at home with your daughter, but she had just been fed and burped, which meant a long nap, most likely even longer than the class itself. 

So instead of ditching, you moved her to the carrier, careful not to wake her up, and put a thick blanket over it, so both the light and noises would be muted, and she could continue sleeping without any interruptions. 

The drive to your college wasn't long, but you still got into the classroom just as the lecture was about to begin, so there was no time for you to explain the situation in more detail. 

- I'm sorry to bring her in... The sitter canceled, and she's just been fed so she should sleep through the whole lecture, but if she wakes up, I'll leave not to cause any disturbance... - you whispered quietly to Professor Wolff, but in the dead silence of the room, your voice still carried. You were older than the rest of this class and there was a wedding band on your finger, so the fact that you had a child wasn't exactly a surprise. What was surprising though, was your usually stoic professor who hated surprises donning a giant smile on his face, when he raised a blanket you put over the carrier just a little, to see your little girl. 

- It's ok, don't worry about it. - he replied, still looking at Daisy, completely enamored by her. You let him do that for a moment longer, but eventually, you took the blanket from his hand and put it down. He cleared his throat, realizing that the lecture was supposed to start around five minutes ago.

You quickly went to your usual seat, took out your laptop, and got ready to take notes, only this time with your daughter sleeping soundly in a carrier that you put on the desk next to you. 

About halfway through, you heard that your daughter woke up and was getting fussy, but she wasn't in that state when she was a disturbance yet, so you gently took her out of the carrier and laid her on your left arm, while you continued taking notes with your right. And it was working for a while... You weren't sure if it was unfamiliar smells or sounds, but her mood continued to deteriorate, even though she was wearing her favorite frog onesie, with the hood that was currently blocking at least some of the sounds and lights. You tried to lull her back to sleep by gently rocking her on your arm, but that didn't help, and just as you were about to close your laptop and leave, not to disturb other students, you saw Professor Wolff coming closer. You were about to apologize, but he just smiled, winked, and took Daisy in his arms, where she instantly calmed down. 

There was a very brief moment when you expected some sort of reaction from the other students, but besides a few hushed comments about how natural Professor Wolff looked with a baby in his arms, there was nothing, and the lecture continued. 

Your daughter eventually fell asleep again, calmed down by Toto's deep voice, and when she did, he put a green hood with embroidered eyes deeper over her head. She remained like that till the end of the lecture.

You couldn't help but smile every time you looked at them together, and you had to force yourself to actually pay attention, which proved to be challenging. 

But you made it, and when the end of the class was announced, you slowly packed your things, while the other students were leaving the room, a few of the female ones, unusually slowly, their eyes lingering on the professor and your daughter a bit too long, but you couldn't blame them, because you were doing the exact same. Eventually, you were alone and the door to the room automatically closed.

You came closer to the desk he was almost sitting on and put a carrier on the papers that were covering almost the whole surface. Toto leaned down to press a quick kiss on your forehead; after all - you were still in school. And even though the dean was informed about your relationship first - when Toto accepted a job offer here three years ago, and once again - earlier this year, when you came back to the university to finish your Ph.D. after the birth, neither of you wanted to advertise your marriage left and right, and walls here had eyes. 

- Cassie was in an accident on her way to us, and she broke her arm... I think we should give her a few weeks off because she seemed more afraid that we won't have anyone to take care of Daisy and disappointing me than she was about her visit to the hospital. - you explained, taking your daughter out of his arms, and putting her back in the carrier. 

- Is she all right? - he asked, watching you securing the clasps and putting the blanket over it once again. 

- She seemed to be, but I don't know much more... I didn't want to call and intrude, since everything was fresh when she messaged me. I'll check in with her in the evening. - you added, throwing the jacket over your shoulders, and moving your hair from under it. - You have one more lecture, right? - you made sure, and he sighed. 

- Yes... In half an hour. Although I doubt it will be as pleasant as this one. - he smiled, pulled you closer by your jacket, and kissed you softly. - Seeing you two honestly made my day. - you put your arms around him, letting yourself drown in his strong arms for a moment, but you didn't close your eyes, because you knew that if you did, you would fall asleep right then and there, standing up. You were good at keeping appearances, but being a new parent, even with such a well-behaved baby as Daisy, was exhausting, so you took every short moment of peace and quiet you could get. 

- I should go... - you whispered against his shirt and your words were followed by a loud sigh because you honestly didn't want to leave.

- Or... You could take a nap on the couch in my office, and I can take care of Daisy. - he proposed and you almost started crying from relief; he could always see right through you. Your first instinct was to ask him if he was sure, but the more rational thought, backed up by years of a relationship with him followed, saying that he was. 

- Thank you... - he squeezed your body a little harder before letting you go. 

- Come on then... - he took the carrier with your sleeping daughter from the desk, fished the keys to his office from the pocket of his jacket, and led you to the small room, not that far from the class he was teaching in. You almost fell onto the soft couch, letting the pillows swallow you whole, but before you fell asleep, you felt Toto putting a soft blanket that smelled like a fabric softener you used at home over your body. 

There was a moment when you woke up in a panic after about an hour, but as soon as you heard a familiar low rumble of Toto’s deep voice, carrying through the corridors despite the closed doors, you remembered what happened and went back to sleep. 

A/N 2: Please don’t feel obligated/pressured to reblog, because I write mostly for myself. A comment would be appreciated though :) Love, G.

[chainbakery]

Confession (2/3)

summary: you're finally ready to confess your feelings and, even if they share the same soul across the eras, each hero reacts differently to this.

gn! reader, fluff, romantic, a small hint of angst in twi's part.

You swear you’ve never seen him look as awake as now.

Wide eyes, a big smile that you can’t help but reciprocate, and the prettiest blush on his cheeks.

If you let him, he’ll wrap his arms around your waist and spin you around while laughing.

He’s just so, so happy to finally confirm that you feel the same he can’t help himself!

There’s no hesitation in his eyes or his words as he tells you that he loves you, too, and would want nothing more than to be by your side.

Might get so cheesy you’ll have to shut him up… maybe with a kiss, if you feel like it.

He might not tell you, but you actually ended up beating him with the confession.

He was preparing a small, wooden figure of something you liked, to give to you along with his confession.

Well, guess he’ll have more time to make it even better than it was and give it to you later.

Honestly, one of the most normal heroes when it comes to accepting your feelings… It could also be because he spent a long time daydreaming about the day you’d finally be together, but who knows.

He has a pretty good poker face, but you’ll be able to notice his surprise because of how long it’ll take him to fully understand your words.

The smile that appears on his face is the softest you’ve ever seen him make.

He responds to your confession with honesty and care and, if you pay close attention, you can even notice a shine in his good eye.

If he’s holding back a few tears, that’s something that doesn’t matter at that moment.

The thought of being with you warms his heart, melts his worries away as he holds your hand in his.

He’ll insist on staying together, a bit farther from the group, for a while longer. Most of them are heroes, so your absence shouldn’t cause much trouble, right?

It’s because he wants to spend more time with you without the others commenting on why you’re closer. He won’t shy away from showing off your recent relationship, after all.

But it’s also because he doesn’t want Warriors or any of the others noticing the faint blush on his cheeks. Hylia knows he would never hear the end of it.

Unlike some of the younger heroes, he doesn’t have a very obvious reaction to your confession. He looks calmer, but his heart is still racing that very night whenever he thinks about you.

Also, he’d suggest keeping the detail of who confessed a secret from the boys, he knows at least some of them had a bet going on.

Asks you to repeat what you said. Pretty silly, considering how he has pretty good hearing.

So you repeat your confession, slowly so he can process your words.

Even then, he needs a moment for his mind to work.

You can see the moment when it clicks for him, his cheeks turn darker as his smile widens before he wraps his arms around you, giving you the warmest hug you’ve ever had.

He can’t even begin to explain how happy he was, just as he couldn’t fully ignore the small seed of fear inside of him.

He had already lost someone he loved, had given his heart and ended up hurt because of it… But, that didn’t mean he’d let his past experiences blind him and hurt you by rejecting you when he felt the same.

Honestly, he should thank Time, and maybe Malon. When he noticed his feelings for you, he had confided in his predecessor and told him about his doubts and fears.

He deserved to be happy, the other hero told him from his own experience. Because no matter his past, he shouldn’t try to avoid what makes him happy.

And, in this case, you’re the one who would make him happy. With your smiles and presence by his side, he can slowly learn to let go of his doubts.

He knows that, even though many years have passed and he’ll never see her again, a certain someone would want him to be happy and let go, and that’s what he’ll do.

[omorimodreverie]

Reverie Dev Log - November and December

Side Note: This one is quite long, if you only want an important part, there is a TL;DR summary at the bottom.

New Year Note

Happy New Year! We have now reached 2024! Reverie has begun as a little project since April 2021, before it even has its name. The more modern variant began after the demo release in August 2021, with CH1 releasing in May 2022, so it’s been a long way.

Though to admit, considering CH2.5 update came in December 2022, this means CH3 has a gap of a year now (though there are some updates and patches on 2.5 for a few months. This makes it seem like progress has been in stagnation, especially with delayed dev log recently.

This one will be shorter in technical and progress details, and more about the general gist of development plans in general, the surrounding environmental change in modding and OMORI as a whole (as that bears a great effect currently), and finally explains the slow down a bit (though a TL;DR: basically the past few months is holidays).

Also, Development post will now rather be every 2 months as well.

(And also the time is better spent on actually development than just writing, lol)

Overview

November and December for its period of time wasn’t as much done compared to previous months, though it wasn’t as bad as the worst case scenario when factoring in multiple holidays coming in that could have easily killed the motivation entirely. So all things considered, it’s relatively steady going despite the circumstances

For a quick rundown:

More NPCs implemented in maps

Writing is a bit more organized and more steady in terms of work now (And also an additional writer member!)

Portraits started to be done for most main characters

Connected up some progression from separate disjointed cutscenes

Some new plans that reduces workload*

Some enemy sprites are done as well on the side**

A few changes and re-polish on some music tracks

*for example, sunset are done on same map with filter than whole new set of maps

**Which are low priority, more of optional content in CH3 context

Updates, Changes and Needs

There are multiple factors that affect development, here it will be listed from short term factor to long term factor and potential future.

Holiday and Breaks

Let’s start with easy stuff, the short term factor. The past few months contain multiple holidays and also school breaks for some people. There isn’t much to say here, people on holidays get busy therefore less people are doing mod work, especially Christmas and New Year holiday.

(I mean, reverie is a fan mod project, not a job, lol)

Though there is still at least some minimum baseline of trying to keep interest up with some check in, so the interest doesn’t die off entirely, as mentioned in previous Dev Log before large holidays tend to be in big risk for that.

CH3 and Real World Content

One major thing to think about is the length of the real world section and the amount of content it has. The real world content has a large upfront cost due to making an entire new asset for the majority of aspects, so any new things added more will take far longer time than usual other chapters in the dream world.

There are two major aspects to consider, the mandatory story aspect, and the optional side content aspect. 

Mandatory / Story Content

As of current the main story aspect of CH3 is quite short, unlike Dreamworld areas, the Real world main content mostly revolves around cutscenes and dialogues, if you speed through the dialogue and cutscenes, it could very well take only half an hour or less to go through (though that’s unlikely the way it’s played on first playthrough at least, ignoring reading time).

One conflict is that, Reverie as a mod is far more focused on Dreamworld sections and battle heavy, making real world sections a bit awkward to make, taking quite a large amount of development time compared to other dream world chapters. The question then is how much real world content should be made, factoring in development time?

Side / Optional Content

As for side content, like in base game it’s mostly NPCs giving fetch quests (which are simpler to make), or potentially jobs (which is a bit more complex).

One unique aspect of Reverie over the base game though, is some amount of gameplay battles to at least give something to do (think of Jackson poster in Hobbeez in base game, but more fleshed out).

The important question is, how much side content should there be in the real world section of reverie? While it is cool to have some side content in real world and is a common complaint on base game itself that the real world feels lackluster, making more things in real world also takes up a large amount of development time which is not ideal. It’s a balancing act between not too lackluster but also not too much content which would take too much time.

RPGMV Needs and Modding Community

And finally, the general community aspect. The OMORI fandom has aged quite a while now, and as time passes the amount of people interested is reduced as well. This project is ultimately a fan project so the amount of interest on the mod isn’t really a problem, but what does this mean is there are less people interested in OMORI and also modding in general,.

A fair amount of people who tend to do RPGMaker MV (RPGMV) works tend to now be out no longer modding, or new members who do would tend to be making own project anyways. This means there has been less people who are available with RPGMV side, which means aspects like cutscenes should be cut down smaller to avoid development hell.

What this means for development is the gears shift from previous usual development focused on efficiency (getting task as parallel as possible), to a slower but sustainable development, focusing more on sustaining interest, which is better than losing interest totally.

TL;DR

Basically, the key important points are:

Short term aspect of Holidays and New Year makes November and December slow period in general.

Real World content (and CH3 by extension) is more time consuming and harder to make than other chapters

Therefore, amount of Real World content needs to be discussed, both mandatory and optional content

There has been less people in Omori community in general meaning there is less people to go by, especially RPGMV sector

Therefore, development has switched to a more slow burn state, taking things slow but sustaining interest to avoid burn out or lost motivation

And for development posts, now will be posting every 2 months than every months instead to reduce writing.

And about Applications...

Applications are always open! RPGMV / Programmers are always appreciated!

Final Stuff

Well now that you read this far, here's some portrait of Daphne and Bowen! (and also probably the only few sprite that is showable related to CH3 now)

There isn't much detail, but when resized down it is enough as a sprite

[moodymisty]

☾ 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕃𝕒𝕜𝕖 ☽

Author's Note: An idea I had floating around in my little brain for awhile, and I did a poll to see which character people were most interested in seeing it acted out with. Hunter won, so here you go. I'll probably do more polls like that in the future if people are interested. (it's finally done sldidsfsjsfsjflsf)

The planet is unnamed, but I mostly had Takodana's very lush landscapes in mind. The lake looking something like this but with some liberties. This is something I love about Star Wars; You can just create a scene and the whole galaxy is your oyster to play with.

Summary: The water laps around your shoulders, ending just below your collarbone. It flows around your every curve, covering your skin with the soft shine of the moons. They reflect on the water's surface, every star looking like glitter sparkling in the lake. "Come on Hunter; Join me? Just for a minute?"

Relationships: Hunter/Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Pre-established relationship, skinny dipping, Sex in water but also on the shore, Post Order 66, Unprotected sex, Fingering, Oral(female receiving), Technically voyeurism? since it's outside i guess, Porn with mild setup plot, Creampie if you squint, it’s kinda just vanilla not super kinky stuff here today; but there is some on the horizon

Word Count: 6084 (if you just want the smut, scroll down about a third)

“So; Tech,”

Lowering the ship into the planet’s atmosphere he spares you a curious glance before turning back, still listening to what you’re going to say even if he’s no longer looking.

“Give us the details.”

Quite quickly he figures out you’re asking for some information on the planet you’re coming to, and quickly racks his brain for some interesting tidbits. You always enjoy hearing them, and learning about all these civilizations from far beyond where you’d grown up.

“It’s a small mid-rim planet, conveniently along one of the largest trade routes. It’s largest export is agricultural in nature; Fertile soil and temperate climate makes for optimal crop growth. It remained neutrally aligned for most of the war.”

Wrecker, who’s leaning forward to look out the viewport, comments on Tech’s encouraged ramble.

“That explains the forests.” Not being able to resist taking a peak you walk closer, Wrecker moving slightly to the side so you can look out as well.

He certainly wasn’t kidding; While the trees have nothing on a planet like say Kashyyyk, the forests here are still quite thick and cover a vast amount of area. Even into the mountains, though less sparse where crop fields and little towns reside. You’re not here for any signs of modern or at least living civilization, so it’s unlikely you’ll be getting to enjoy any of the local offerings.

Maybe if you and Omega teamed up you could whine until Hunter lets you all, but that’s a power play best used sparingly.

Since Wrecker abandons looking outside you decide to settle down and watch, leaning more against the viewport you see the treetops come closer and closer. Even Omega steps beside you to take a quick look. She seems more than entertained by the view of it all, while you spot something in particular that catches your interest more so than the rest.

It looks like there’s a decent sized lake hidden in all of the trees, you manage to catch a glimpse as you fly overhead. But it passes by before you have a chance to look anymore on it. Tech is landing not moments later, cutting off the engines and speaking up once more while he does.

“The forest makes for good camouflage. We should be able to find the old outpost with not too much trouble, however.”

Right; You aren’t here to sight see or have a picnic. Hopefully this abandoned base will have the gear you’re looking for, and in good working shape. Some of it would in theory be a nice upgrade for the lot of you, as well for being a good paycheck when you turn in the bulk of it for a reward. Provided it's all in working order.

Hunter, grabbing his pack off the ground calls to everyone to ready up, standing by the entrance of the ship.

“Should be an easy in and out. Let’s not make a mess of it.”

Easier said that done with this lot, and that includes yourself. The penchant of you all to get into some sort of trouble is more than a little bit common.

“And after, we get some food?” Wrecker tosses his helmet in his hands a few times, before slipping it on. You quite quickly agree with Wrecker, feeling your stomach rumble. Hunter sighs.

“And after we’ll get some food.”

“I still have some repairs to do, so I will take first watch.”

Tech doesn’t look up from his datapad as he speaks, ushering the lot of you in the direction of the bunks. It’s late; Both the moons hanging high in the sky after a long day. Wrecker and Omega are both eager to get some rest, and Echo can’t deny he feels largely the same. Hunter is a bit more composed, and checks over the area surrounding the ship before he decides to actually lay down. Wrecker has the job of hauling the finds into the back of the ship, the closest spot you'll have to a cargo hold on a ship this small.

The area you've landed in is far away from any sort of civilization, and that fact makes Hunter just the tiniest bit more relaxed about getting some shut eye. The constant bustling of cities makes it harder for him to pick out noises of concern, while quiet places like make it easier for him to rest, but his hearing will still prick up at the sound of someone messing with the hull or some other sort of concern.

When he walks deeper into the ship he sees you sitting on a bunk, pulling off your boots.

“Tech taking the first shift?” You say, looking at at him standing in front of you.

You put both your boots down at the head of the bunk, before throwing your legs up onto it. Hunter doesn’t bother to take off most of his armor when he sleeps, and you don’t even want to think on how uncomfortable it must all feel. Though you imagine he’s become used to it.

“Yep. He’s got some repair work to do, apparently.” His eyes are soft as he looks at you, watching you lay down.

“Well, night. Tell him not to wake us all up with the power tools again.”

Hunter rolls his eyes at the reference of a previous incident as he hauls his body into his own bunk, before laying back as well. He can hear you chuckling however, before it eventually fades off into a comfortable silence.

The ship is more quiet than usual, you think. Which would be perfect for getting some shuteye if you’d been planning on it. But you have a bit of an idea, and your mind is still spinning with it.

You just need to wait a little while.

Which you do, all the way until you slowly lean up and look around, taking a peek at everyone you can see. It's been at least an hour, a quick check on your datapad confirms that suspicion. You take another, longer look around the ship.

Everyone looks asleep; Even Hunter.

Ever so slowly you slide off of your bunk, grabbing your boots and pack off the floor. You’ll slip on your boots outside, to try and be as quiet as possible.

Tech has the gangplank open at the moment, as he’s been shuffling in and out of the ship working on some repairs well into the night.

Multitasking he says; As he can keep watch, as well as work.

The power tools you'd complained about are running, and should cover the sound of you walking at least somewhat. With light footsteps you sneak outside, instantly taking a deep breath of the fresh forest air. The nighttime is significantly cooler than it had been earlier, but it’s still somewhat warm; Enough so that you don’t need any sort of extra layers. You slip on your boots and start walking.

Once you reach the treeline you take a look back, seeing the small amount of light emanating from The Marauder. This planet has multiple moons, and as such the nights along with the stars are quite bright compared to most other planets. You don’t even need a torch to see into the forest, walking through some underbrush and deeper into the forest.

At least this forest isn’t very thick; It’s relatively easy to walk the same paths the wildlife does in order to make your way through, weaving through large trees and the small shrubby underneath them all. There’s the occasional rustling as well, something jumping around in the trees or scurrying away at the sound of you walking on fallen leaves.

You can see what you want through the trees, and just stepping over a few more branches, you finally make it onto the clear area just surrounding the outer edges of the lake.

It’s even better than it had looked overhead from The Marauder.

Lily pads are scattered around the edge of the lake, their roots visible traveling downward and showing from how clear the water is. Beneath them swim unique little fishes that you have no clue their species; Only that they’re cute, colorful little things, and swim in decent sizes schools. But most of all, the way the sky reflects in the water makes it almost seem like the lake is a nebula in and of itself, each individual star sparkling in the water so still it seems like you're looking downward into a portal to the sky.

Putting your bag on the ground beside a tree, you take off your boots first and place them right beside it. Your bottoms go next, stuffing them in the back along with your underwear. Then your top, the final piece of clothing to go.

After that, you take one step forward and hesitantly dip your toe in the water, feeling the temperature. This is such a reckless, silly idea, but the temptation of it is a bit too much.

But what is even more so tempting, is that you know that you won’t be alone for very long out here.

You know Hunter is following you, or will be soon; It won't be long at all that he's awake and notices that you're gone. More than likely, he heard your footsteps the moment they hit the ramp and he's already on your tail.

He'll be here, it's just a waiting game.

Perhaps it’s not going to be totally clean, but it feels nice to have your hair wet and scrubbed away of any dirt and grime that had once been in it, as you shake your head. It will be an absolutely uncontrollable mess when you return to the Marauder and it dries, but at least it’ll be clean.

It all just feels so relaxing. The water is so peaceful not cold or hot, and the air is quiet apart from the sounds of some nocturnal wildlife. This was such a fit of the moment idea but you’re glad you decided to go through it, wiping some waterdrops off your eyelids as you wash your face.

And maybe it was a bit of a reckless idea sure, but what fit of the moment indulgence isn’t? You’ll blame the lack of a proper shower or bath in The Marauder as the reason why, even if the peaceful nature is the thing you’re enjoying most out of all of this.

But gods, is it nice to have a little bit of quiet time once and awhile. That ship can be a stuffed racket. If this is even a fraction of how Hunter feels at time, you can’t even fathom how he hasn’t just exploded at this point-

There’s a rustle in the trees, and you quickly halt everything and stare at where you think it came from. Your eyes dart around, water lapping at your collarbone.

It’s silent again, before there’s suddenly a bit more noises, and your eyes catch a small glimpse of something moving. Instantly you look to the area that shifted.

And from it- Hunter.

The moment he catches you he can’t hide the shocked expression on his face, looking down for a second and seeing where your clothes are piled just in front of his boots.

“What are you doing?!”

Hunter whisper yells, making his way slightly down the incline towards the shore and past your belongings. You watch with a mischievous smile, wading just a bit closer so you can hear him easier. The water laps a little ways above the middle of your sternum now.

“Taking a bath.” Hunter hates the way you sing that response with such a lack of caution towards what insanity you've gotten up to, watching him.

“In the middle of the night? In a forest? Tech barely realized you were gone until I told him I heard you leave! If something had happened we wouldn’t have known until it was-” You roll your eyes, interrupting him.

“Ugh, you always think of the worst possible scenario.” Raising one of your hands out of the water you gesture towards yourself, trying to beckon him in as water splashes off your palm and back where it was taken from.

“Come on in, it’s fine,” The water is nice and warm, and you push away a stray lily pad that floats close to your face. Hunter purses his lips and looks side to side, before pointing at you and then the ground.

“It is not fine. Get out.”

You fake contemplation, but for only a moment.

“No.”

Hunter begins to use his more formal 'Sargent voice', attempting to try and force you out.

“I am not playing around. Get out of the water.”

“Or what?" When that doesn't work, Hunter blows air through his tight lips as he attempts not to get irritated at you.

“I am not going to play this game with you, seriously. Get out. Anyone could see you." Your toes just barely brush against the bottom of the lake, kicking up dirt and scaring away the tiny little fishes that swim somewhat close by, curious at what weird thing is in their home so late at night.

“Ohhhh, so that's why you don't want me to have fun? Cause someone might catch a peek besides you?" His hand tightens around the tree branch he's holding to keep himself steady on the edge of the lake, watching as you slowly drift backwards deeper into the lake.

The water laps around your shoulders, ending just below your collarbone. It flows around your every curve, covering your skin with the soft shine of the moons. They reflect on the water's surface, every star looking like glitter sparkling in the lake.

“Come on Hunter; Join me? Just for a minute?"

Hunter loathes to admit that, it's tempting. Even if the alarm bells in his head are ringing because technically, the ship is largely unguarded- Tech is the only one keep an eye out since he's left, and doesn't have Hunter's keep hearing to cue him in anything out here everyone else can't see.

But he's done his lookouts, perimeter checks, there's nothing around. He hasn't heard so much as a peep from anything other than wildlife.

And you look, ethereal. That's the word he'll choose, even if he knows it isn't of a magnitude to really represent how he feels. Bits of your hair stick to your face, as you just barely tread water.

“You know on my home planet, there's old stories about mystical women tempting men into the lakes." Hunter's boots slide on the dirt slightly, his free hand on his belt as he debates taking it off.

“To do what?" You shrug, and for a moment he can see more of the outline of your chest.

“Depends on who's telling the story."

Looking down he sees where your clothes are all bundled up in your pack, the small one that they'd given you not long ago. He sees the drawn '99' symbol on the front pocket, that you'd shoddily done yourself to match them. He'd left his own pack on the ship, so he reaches his hands up to unbuckle his chest plate, just laying it on the ground so he can put everything else inside of it. You perk up considerably upon the realization that he's actually going to join you, the water splashing with your jump. After you bend at the knees, sinking enough that the water comes up to just barely brush your nose as you watch him.

Slowly, piece by piece he peels his armor away, putting it right beside your own clothing.

Shoulder plates, forearm guards, belt, thigh plates; Kneepads, boots, blasters.

When he's down to only his black body glove, he glances towards you for a moment. He doesn't audibly say anything, before looking back and beginning to peel the last of his clothing away. His arms first, wrapping down to his hips where from the side, you can just barely catch the v-line leading down to his groin at the smattering of dark hair that catches the light.

“I can feel you staring."

The water bubbles and ripples when you attempt to giggle, taking a breath and pushing your legs out from underneath you, falling under the water. By the time you come back up, Hunter is already stepping into the water, up to his hips.

“It’s warm,” He says, his hand brushing across the surface. He makes his way closer to you, the water rising higher and higher.

“Did you know this was out here the whole time?” He’s close enough to you now that it would only take one decent stride to be chest to chest, smiling at him.

“I saw it overhead as we were landing. Decided to take a look when everyone else was looking the other way.” Hunter shouldn’t be surprised, but he’ll always shake his head at your mischievousness. It’s not as if he can complain now however, as at this point, he has technically joined you in it.

He dives his head underneath the water for a moment, before coming up with his hair slopping wet and sticking to his face in chunks of wavy, dark curls.

“I thought you were just trying to fetch me and bring me back?” Realizing that originally yes, that was his goal, Hunter looks away from a moment.

“I… Reconsidered.” He steps a little closer.

“It’s quiet. And we haven’t have much time alone since, everything.” Hunter is also so hilariously enthralled by the way the water shines on your skin, and how he can just barely see the outline of your chest beneath the surface.

He is right; You’ve barely had any time to think since you all became deserters, not even considering trying to have some time alone.

He takes one step closer, hearing all the leaves brushing in the trees close by and fish swimming below the surface. You’re looking up at him with that same mischievous little smile you had when he first found you here, the color of your eyes shining. You feel his hands grip your waist below the water, pulling you against him as he leans in and softly presses his lips to yours, feeling the cooled water on your skin. You move your arms to wrap around his neck, and he takes one tiny step closer so his body is almost completely melded against yours.

Gods, it feels like it’s been ages. You already feel a weight in your gut and your throat getting tight, and it's only just a kiss. You both sneak moments here and there, but to finally be able to hold each other close like this? It’s been too long. The passion you feel in your chest is increasing, and that chaste kiss is turning into one that is making your head feel lighter.

“I missed you,”

You say, listening to him let out an almost confused sounding chuckle.

“We’ve been trapped in the same ship for weeks now, how could you miss me?” You can’t help but roll your eyes a bit, still smiling as your fingers play with his damp hair. You have a pretty good feeling he’s joking with that line, judging by his soft smile and raised eyebrows.

“I missed this; We always have to be so well behaved on The Marauder.” You aren’t wrong, and it seems Hunter understands- and agrees with you. It's good to be on the same page.

“True. But they’re all back there, we have a minute to ourselves.”

You don’t need to respond to him, leaning in to steal another kiss. It’s harder; His tongue brushes against your bottom lip and you can hear him softly breathe, his hands firmly against the small of your back. They keep drifting lower and lower- and while they don’t quite touch your ass just yet, it wouldn’t take much of a movement downward for him to be able to grip tightly.

Your arms wrap tighter around his neck to pull him closer, to press your body harder against his, but he hums against your mouth before pulling back.

“Be patient; We got time.”

You might have time now yes, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t needy; You’ve lost count how many times you’ve had to take matters into your own hands, either by shoving any dirty thoughts deep to the back of your mind, or trying hopelessly to sneak a few minutes alone in the refresher.

He’s hinted before that he’s had to do the same; Especially if he hears you accidentally make a lewd noise, or catches a scent that makes his body run unbelievably hot. The idea of him doing so always sets you off, so it’s just an endless cycle.

One of his hands you can feel slowly slipping down your back, moving across to the side of your hip. You can feel the callused tips of his fingers against your skin, rough from years of wear and tear. It’s part of what makes his touch cause you to unconsciously shiver, even more so as he slowly slips his hand between the both of your bodies. Every motion is so infuriatingly slow, methodical as he moves what feels like only millimeters- intent to take his time. You hate it, more than anything as it makes your cunt ache around nothing and your blood boils, but the build up will make it all the more satisfying. Even if it also feels like torture, as his lips brush over the corner of your mouth. You move your head to just slightly to kiss him, unable to stop yourself from moaning into his mouth.

You can feel his cock gently brush against the front of your thigh, when your legs more just slightly apart to accommodate him. The moment you feel his fingers brush over your lower stomach you can’t help the way your muscles tighten just slightly, in the anticipation of him. They ever so slightly drift lower, until he slips his fingers between your folds underneath the clear water's surface.

You almost rise on the balls of your feet, feeling the way his fingers curl ever so slightly as the prod almost teasingly against your entrance.

“Gods; You smell amazing."

Even through all of the noises and smells of a forest as large and as full of life are overwhelming, Hunter can easily focus on only you; As you take over and occupy all of his senses. He can feel the way you tighten around his fingers, palm pressing down just over your clit. Even if it's dulled by the water, it would be an un-fightable temptation for him to try and not indulge in you.

As much as he would love to just figuratively tear you apart, he has time; There's no looming time limit for when his brothers will come back, or when they need to be off to the next planet.

He can, in theory, fuck you all night if the universe allows him.

You seem certainly willing, as your nails dig into his skin and leave little crescent moon shaped dents all along his shoulder blades.

The water feels so warm now; Maybe it still is from the sun shining on it throughout the day, or maybe your body is just so fucking hot that the temperature of the water is no longer affecting you.

Either way it doesn't matter, all that matters is that Hunter is touching you and will continue to do so, up until you've both made up for the amount of times he's so desperately wanted to bury his cock in you.

Where wouldn't even matter; He's just so absolutely fucking starving for it.

“Lets, let’s go back to the shore.”

He can’t disagree with you, it would be quite hard do anything more standing up, let alone in this deep of water. As fun and easy as it might look in the holofilms. The two of you quickly tread back to shore, Hunter right behind you as you open your pack once you get to it.

Thankfully you’d had the forethought to pack a blanket in your pack; Originally for drying off. But now it gets laid on the ground intended for a completely other use, not that you're complaining.

Once you lay it down and get upon it, Hunter instantly follows, hovering over your as your legs drift apart to accommodate him. He instantly feels the warm skin of your legs against his as they close around him, keeping him tightly to you.

“Hello again,” You dare to joke, feeling the way his lips curl upwards when they press against the sensitive pulse of your neck. You moan, feeling as he leaves kisses and little marks just hard enough to make your skin ache ones he leaves.

“Always joking.” He never minds it.

Lips drifting downward they brush over your collarbone, breast, going lower and lower as his hands lay on your thighs. He feels the way they almost instinctively close when the air of his breath brushes over your skin, but his gentle grip keeps them spread just enough for his liking.

He can easily see how wet you are- smell it more so- the way it shines against your outer lips even with the water droplets from the lake still sliding down your skin. He doesn’t look for long however, as his hands firmly grip your thighs and keep them spread apart.

“Hunter-!"

You would’ve sworn he hadn’t had a taste of any liquid for weeks judging by the way he suddenly pressed his mouth against you, tongue lapping at your cunt like a starving man.

His tongue slips between your folds as his nose occasionally brushes against your clit, Hunter’s large hands grasping each of your thighs and keeping them pressed firmly apart. They grip rougher now that he’s in the midst of it, though you have no complaints.

He had once admitted that he oh so greatly enjoyed doing this to you, but being so close to the heat of you, the smell and the warmth and the sound of him winding you up like a coil until you snap, it can drive him near insane. He always tries to steady himself and keep it slow, but while he’s usually more than eager to take his time, after so long apart he can’t help but be a little bit rushed and desperate.

“Hunter- Holy- Slow down there a bit…”

You don’t entirely mean the sentiment, it’s more so commenting on how his hands are gripping your body so tight and keeping you so close, but he does slow down slightly. You can feel the stubble of his cheeks scratching against your skin like sandpaper, surely it’ll be a little sensitive later. They almost always are, but it's never a serious complaint.

Just something to remember this night by in the morning, so you know for sure it wasn't just the hottest fucking wet dream you've had in your entire life.

Hunter buries is face even deeper when he feels your body arching up slightly, hands grasping at the ground as your cunt soaks him. He dares to let one hand slip away from your thighs and slides two fingers into your cunt, curling inside of you and feeling the way you tighten around them. He can taste you on his lips, even more so as you cum and fill the air with all the sweet noises he loves so much, wants to hear over and over again, moaning his name to as his tongue presses against your clit. He borderline abuses it as your hips twitch, hand reaching for him in an attempt to ground yourself as your thighs shake.

Your face is already hot, eyes blown out looking at him as he pulls away from you. A string of spit follows going from your pussy to his lips, before it quickly snaps.

But gods; The taste of you, the smell right beneath his nose, it always drives him so close to the edge. He teeters right on it, his neck is tight and he finds himself holding his breath accidentally when he moves back up your body.

You brush some of his wet hair away from his forehead, feeling his cock resting against your thigh.

“Was this your plan the whole time?” His says quietly, one hand supporting himself beside your waist while the other drifts between your two bodies.

“The first part was; This is all just a bonus.” His loves that sneaky, satisfied smile you wear sometimes, but he’s always eager to wipe it off- watching as he slowly presses his cock into you and it fades, biting your lip as you struggle not to moan.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

You hope he fulfills that thinly veiled threat of punishment some day in the future.

In any other situation being out of the water still wet it might start to give you a chill, but with how fast your heart is racing it’s not a possibility, feeling Hunter’s own skin touch yours. He's always run hot, it just seem to be in his nature, and you can feel it as his body lays close. You can see the way the muscles of his shoulders tighten and flex as he bottoms out inside of you, hips pressing against the backs of your thighs. Strands of thick, wet hair hang around his face, shadowing it- but still letting you see the way his brow furrows and dark eyes dart over your face.

His thrusts start slow, building upward as his wet hair brushes against your skin. Your thighs press against his hips, one of your hands tangling in his hair. He loves to have it tugged on, tightly woven between your fingers as his bandana lays abandoned on the shoreline surely close by all of his other items. He'd never dare let it get blown away.

His tattoos almost seem even more prominent wet, though maybe it’s just the shine of the night sky on the water that’s making it seem so. They move atop his muscles as he fucks you, the ones on his arms shifting as his biceps flex. You've always loved them- the tattoos, and the way they seem to highlight parts of his body in a way that's made you catch yourself staring multiple times before.

"Kriff," Hunter pants. "You really are a damn tease."

Did it take him that long to figure that out? It had been the goal the whole time.

If there's anything you've learned from being with Hunter particularly in situations different than this where he isn't nearly as gentle, the fun is in the chase.

But neither of you are going to last very long with how pent up you are, how long it’s been; The teasing and the build up over weeks of stolen kisses and soft, subtle gestures.

You let out a gasp as his cock brushes against a particularly sensitive bundle of nerves, a breath nearly getting caught in your throat.

"Gods- Hunter I'm so-" He knows you are, he can feel it as your tight cunt wraps around him like a vice, and even if the water might mask it, Hunter can feel how wet you are, how you leak over his cock as you wrap tight around him. Your lip is caught so firmly in-between your teeth it might bleed, moaning from deep in your throat.

He swears he can almost hear his own teeth grind against each other when he cums, filling you as you grind against him for more. Just that little bit to get pushed over the edge, as you're already teetering so close it's like you're dangling on the edge of a cliff.

But it doesn't take much; All you need is his fingers pushing against your clit trying to pull it from you before your thighs press against his hips like you want to crush them, seeing white behind your closed lids. He feels you cum around him, gripping the shoddy, soaked with lake water blanket so tight as you intake a breath and hold it long enough he almost tells you to breath. Your knuckles strain, seeing stars as he dares to move his hips slowly almost milking you through it all, and listening to the way you mewl desperately for him.

Gods, you missed him. Even in the short time he was gone. Even if you don't think you could handle it, you still want to go again. Until you were even more of a mess than you are now. Hunter gently pulls his softening cock from you and groans, while you feel a pleasant, wonder ache as his cum leaks from you.

But the afterglow is nice. Hunter most of all likes how peaceful it is. Just you and him; It would take someone hours to track you both down if they really wanted to.

Just a moment to yourselves.

His lips are still grazing just over yours as he talks, and you can feel the ever so slight scratch of his stubble. Since Kamino he's sometimes had moments where he hasn't had time to regulation shave it perfect, so he gets this nice bit of scratchy stubble that makes you smile whenever it burns your skin.

“We should get back; Before anyone realizes we’re gone.”

He isn’t wrong, but it’s not to say your pleased about having to finally end this.

"I don't want to." He stares down at you, seeing your mischievous smile hiding some genuine disappointment.

"I said earlier I wasn't going to let you get away with this. And I wont." He pulls away, but not before stealing a quick kiss. "Grab your things."

Always the strict one. But of the squad known to not follow rules; So it's not as if he hates breaking them at times.

Pulling away, you begin to try and find your clothes, Hunter wringing his hair while you shake yourself off enough to put them on and they won't become completely soaked with water by proxy. Hunter is a little bit slower than you as he has to put his armor back on as well, but he’s not much so.

At least the one with the hyper developed senses is the one sneaking back in, as it makes the quiet entrance in The Marauder that much easier once you return.

No one instantly notices you, as Tech is far too distracted in the cockpit working. Wrecker is still sleeping, as is Omega, and presumably Echo is somewhere in the far back of the ship either working, or taking a breather. He often times does so since a full cycle of sleep seems to still be hard for him, which is understandable.

Neither of you are complaining; It makes it easier for the both of you to get inside with being question where you went.

But while Hunter technically had a nap earlier, you hadn’t, so you’re more than a little tuckered out after everything. Quite quickly you move to slip into your bunk after you pull off your boots, before you realize you could sneak a bit of time in Hunter's instead.

So you silently move and swap to his bunk, but before he has a chance to join you...

“Hunter?”

He hears Tech call his name, and leaves you to go see what he needs. Not before sighing at Tech's both terrible and incredible timing. A few minutes earlier for that call, and he might've realized both of you were missing.

The moment Hunter enters the cockpit and asks what he could possibly need Tech doesn’t look up at him, instead continuing to tinker while speaking.

“I didn’t know you’d woken back up; Would you perhaps give me a hand? Unfortunately I need another pair for this.”

Hunter takes a quick glance back towards you and sees you gently wave, smiling at him as you swing your feet back and forth. You can wait a few moments while he does this. Even if he'd rather you didn't have to, as he'd much rather be there than helping with whatever this mess of tangled wires and metal bits is.

Looks kind of dangerous, even by Tech standards.

Just as he begins to take a kneel in order to help Tech looks up, and Hunter’s eyes lock with his for a moment.

Tech squints behind the tempered glass of his googles.

“Why is your hair wet? Me nor Echo hear the refresher shower running.”

Join the taglist here: @seriowan @simp-legend @nekotaetae @chad-something @coffeyorky @merkitty49 @lokigirlszendaya @totesnothere04 @get-wr3ckered @rebel-finn @mandoloriancookie @therealnekomari @loverofclones @notthatfanfictionwriter @lucyysthings @jennrosefx @fxlsealarm @crosshairs-wife @sinfulsalutations @Rennyboo9 @pb-jellybeans @jediknightjana

[yxlnst]

HEARTBREAK’S SHADOW

!idol!seungchol! X !Reader!Y/N!

🎀 Summary 🎀 : Seungcheol's charming facade fades as he repeatedly cancels plans, leading to heartbreak and a confrontation over his dishonesty.

🧸 word count 🧸 : 611

ANGST

🧸 - - - - - - - - - - - - - 🎀 - - - - - - - - - - - 🧸

Being with Seungcheol felt like living in a dream at first. As the leader of SEVENTEEN, he was charismatic, charming, and always knew how to make you laugh. When you first started dating, everything seemed perfect. He'd surprise you with late-night texts, remember little details about your day, and would go out of his way to make you feel special. It was easy to get swept up in the excitement.

But as time went on, the charming façade began to crack. Seungcheol's schedule was hectic, but it was more than just his busy life as an idol. He started canceling plans without warning, often leaving you waiting at a restaurant or a café without so much as a text. His excuses were vague, and the sincerity that once colored his voice seemed to vanish.

One evening, you were waiting at a coffee shop for what felt like hours. It was a special night, the anniversary of when you first met, and you’d hoped for some quality time together. But as the minutes dragged on, your hope dwindled. You sent him a message asking where he was, but received no reply.

When you finally left, you felt a mix of anger and disappointment. The next day, you decided to confront him at his dorm. It was risky, but you couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in your gut any longer. You knew something was wrong, but you weren't prepared for what you'd find.

When you arrived at the dorm building, the staff knew you and let you in. You walked down the hallway toward his room, hearing voices from behind the door. You hesitated, wondering if you should knock or wait, but the laughter that came from inside made your heart sink. It wasn't just Seungcheol in the room—it was another girl's voice, one you didn't recognize.

You took a deep breath and knocked. The laughter stopped, and the door swung open. Seungcheol stood there, surprise flashing across his face. "Oh, hey," he said, his voice a bit strained. "What are you doing here?"

"I was waiting for you last night," you said, trying to keep your voice steady. "You never showed up. What's going on, Seungcheol?"

He glanced back into the room, then stepped outside, closing the door behind him. "I'm sorry, something came up," he said, but there was no sincerity in his tone. "You know how it is."

"Something came up?" you asked, crossing your arms. "Like another girl?"

He shifted uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact. "It's not what you think," he replied, but you could tell he was lying. The charm he'd once used to win you over now felt hollow.

"Then tell me what it is," you demanded, refusing to back down. "Why do you keep canceling on me? Why do you act like I'm not important?"

He sighed, rubbing his temples. "Look, it's complicated, okay? I've got a lot going on, and I can't always be there for you."

"Can't or won't?" you shot back, feeling anger rising in your chest. "Seungcheol, I'm not going to play second fiddle to whatever it is you're doing. If you don't want to be with me, just say so."

He glanced at the closed door, then back at you, his expression turning cold. "Maybe you're right," he said, his voice losing any pretense of warmth. "Maybe we're not meant to be together."

The words hit you like a punch to the stomach. You'd expected him to at least try to explain, to show some regret, but instead, he brushed you off as if you were an inconvenience. It was clear that whatever spark there once was had died, and you were no longer a priority in his life.

"Fine," you said, feeling tears sting your eyes. "Then we're done. I won't waste my time on someone who can't even be honest with me."

You turned and walked away, leaving Seungcheol standing in the hallway, his eyes devoid of the warmth that once drew you to him. The realization that he was not the person you thought he was broke your heart, but you knew you had to walk away from the illusion of a perfect relationship. It was time to find someone who truly valued you.

[doctorhelena]

Summary: A mix-up with one of Howard's spy lipsticks leads to Peggy and Steve spending an unexpectedly candid evening at home.

Rating: R

Words: 15k

Chapters: 1/1

Note: This is my extremely late @steggyfanevents Steggy Secret Santa 2023 gift for the amazing @theawkwardterrier. I'm so sorry it's late, but as usual, it ended up considerably longer than I expected!

Read it on A03

Excerpt:

A ringing phone in 1949 was a far more common thing than it had been in 2023, but that didn’t stop Steve from worrying whenever theirs rang while Peggy was out, even though he knew perfectly well that nobody who worked for the SSR had any idea that Peggy even had someone at home to notify if anything should go wrong.

He hadn’t fully considered this particular consequence of retiring from the top-secret line of work that Peggy was still very much in the thick of. He knew, of course, that she was very, very good at what she did, and could absolutely take care of herself. It was just - well, he guessed he just missed working with her, missed knowing at least the general outlines of what she was doing out there. Their relationship had always been professional as well as personal, and now he wasn't part of that world anymore.

Before Steve had left on his journey to return the stones, Bucky had teased him that he wasn't going to know what to do anymore when he couldn't Google things, but in truth he did miss the casual ease of text messaging a lot more than he'd expected to. Maybe that was part of it. Even though he and Peggy had never actually had the benefit of anything like it, he'd been in the 21st century so long that he wasn't used to everyone being routinely unreachable.

Of course, it wasn’t that they never talked Peggy's work life. In the four months since Steve had arrived on her doorstep, they'd actually spent a lot of time discussing some of the intel he’d brought with him, and making plans for how they could use it to greatest effect to prevent the worst of the disasters of the original timeline. Steve's role was going to be more the guy in the chair than the guy with the shield (although clearly still the man with a plan, Peggy had teased him), but he was still involved. But as to her day to day work at the SSR - and even the finer details of her other side project, the development of SHIELD with Howard and Phillips - Steve was mostly in the dark.

He hadn’t realized how much it would bother him. Or maybe it was just that he still hadn’t quite figured out what he wanted to do all day while Peggy was out saving the world. He hadn’t really planned that part out when he’d decided to come back and see if she’d be interested in making a life with him - which she very much had been - and, now that he'd recovered from the bone-deep exhaustion he'd arrived with, he was feeling a bit at loose ends. 

He reached the hallway and answered the phone, his relief at hearing Peggy's voice lasting only until he processed what she was saying. “Darling, it’s me. I’m in a little trouble. Don’t ask me to explain just now.”

“Wh - ”

She cut him off. “Not now. I'm sorry to ask, but Mr. Jarvis isn't available, and I need a lift as quickly as possible from someone I trust implicitly. But I’m all right for the time being and it’s snowing quite hard, so there's no need to drive like a maniac.” She gave him her location, a phone booth a few blocks north of the White House, and hung up before he could ask any more questions.

Well, Steve thought wryly, this was more how he'd imagined his life with Peggy was going to go.

Read the rest on A03

[melishade]

This is more of a PSA announcement if anything. A warning of people you should DNI. Like at all! Because this situation is getting so fucking ridiculous the longer I learn about this shit.

There was this Youtuber that I followed: Lily Orchard. I used to follow her for years. I started following her...between the fourth and fifth season of My Little Pony Gen 4. So since I was in high school. I followed her for at least a decade. I looked up to her and her work for years and thought she was a good role model.

I was wrong.

I've heard rumors about some of the accusations and chose to ignore it when I was younger, thinking it was slander. But it wasn't true. I had actually found out about all the shit she's done just a few months ago from @asunnycoffee and it is absolutely horrid. I mean there's:

Racism Sexism Homophobia Transphobia Brownfacing Lying Support of slavery through her written fanfics Grooming of her fans (BTW she's thirty) Stalking Harassment Hard Implications of Incest in her work Manipulations Gaslighting Emotional abuse Mental Abuse Complete and utter narcissism of this bitch. And so much more that I'm certain one of it could violate some international law.

She's like a fake liberal Catilyn Jenner. But as far as I know, Jenner didn't fucking molest her sister. Because that's exactly what Lily Orchard did to @pleasetiemyshoe AKA Courtney Orchard.

I can't believe I actually looked up to her I feel so fucking sick

Now because I am new to this and really just an outsider perspective learning about this, I'm going to botch any and all explanations of this in detail. Luckily there is a masterpost of all the shit that Lily Orchard has done in detail. https://www.tumblr.com/lily-orchard-gossip-blog/692978295298572288/a-quick-summary-of-lily-orchard?source=share

And there are a bunch of trigger warnings to this and it will be in the tags if you cannot handle it. That is fine to avoid.

But instead of Lily, ya know, owning up to her mistakes and possibly explaining her side of the story, she's done nothing but double down and accuse everyone that come out to expose her for her shit behavior as 'stalkers', 'TERFs', 'Racists' (even though she's fucking brownfacing. Which by the way, fuck her. I already deal with blackfacing enough as it is and she wants to appropriate a culture for views. GOD WHY DID I LOOK UP TO HER WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!) She will slander anyone that doesn't agree with her and do everything in her power to destroy them. And she will use her fanbase to do so. If the fans so much as harass, slander, misgender, and tell people to off themselves that have critiqued Lily in the past, she does nothing. She lets this shit happen. And usually when a creator or a person of power doesn't say anything to stop their fans from doing heinous actions, it's basically giving permission to the people to fucking do it. A perfect example of this is how Trump weaponized his own people to attack the US Capitol.

And it's not just Orchard. It's also her wife Mikaila Orchard, and a former ex now friend, Ginger. Both have followed Orchard's behavior, refused to call her out on anything and have also actively used their platforms to harass people that Orchard deems as an enemy.

And I wish I was fucking joking about any and all of this fucking nonsense, and if I'm wrong I would take it all back! But there are so many people who've come out against her and explained how much of a shit person she is including:

@as8bakwthesage (BTW check out their art it is lovely. And Sage I'm on a transformers forum if you want to join. We have fun.)

@britts-galaxy-brain

@asunnycoffee (A sweet delight. Who's 18, BTW! So Orchard is not above harassing fucking teenagers! And she's not above grooming them either!)

@opinated-user

@pleasetiemyshoe (Her sister. She also posts pictures about cats. But the stuff she talk about with her sister gets really fucking intense. Proceed with caution.)

@glyphosatesolarize

@thetimelordbatgirl

@lily-orchard-gossip-blog

Lizzy Orchard (Which in summary, was Orchard former girlfriend. Orchard claimed Lizzy abused her when really it was the other way around. Lizzy was harassed and bullied off of tumblr and Orchard took her last name which is weird because why the hell would you take the last name of your abuser.

Blake (Lily threatened violence on Blake's fiancee)

Josh Scorcher (An MLP fan. He and Lily used to be friends and there was a fallout)

Patch (IDK if Patch is on tumblr or not)

Poppy and Zena

And that's from what I can remember! That's over ten people that is ringing out warning signs to avoid Orchard at all costs. If it was one person, I'd be skeptical. But 10?! 10! That should be enough to avoid her at all costs! Another perfect example of this situation is when 30 women came out against Cosby and said he SA'd them. Again, when it is multiple people telling different stories that come to the same conclusion, then it's not something that you can deny.

Orchard is a terrible, human being, and you need to avoid her at all costs, and Mikaila and Ginger. These are the names of the channels you should avoid (because sometimes she'll use other people to spy on accounts that critique her and make alt accounts herself to spy on others and make herself look better:

lily-orchard mikaila-orchard lily-orchard-fanart sucky-boi (an alt account) lexyr-kryo (not an alt of Orchard, but the user misgendered Sage and I don't take kindly to that) ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense (Gringer has been known to harass Sunny, who is 18) So block those accounts and follow the others that I mentioned above. Please boost this post as much as you can to help other people avoid them. Although there will be some heavy stuff in some of those accounts, so please proceed with caution. also there's evidence that she wrote an incest story called Stockholm

[nalyra-dreaming]

hi! It's been driving me crazy and I thought I'd ask an expert like you. I was curious to know what is Louis's,Armand's,Lestat's and Mauris's dark gifts? I thought maybe each vampire had a different one. Or maybe they get all the same ones as they get older. But it's been bugging me like crazy.

Hey nonny!

(thx for the compliment^^, but I think there’s lots of "experts“ here :) - but I hope I do make sense.)

Ok, a… not so much tough as a bit difficult to explain one! (Sorry it took a bit longer.) There’s also some meta woven into this, because the gifts do not really develop in a linear way.

BOOK SPOILERS AHEAD for those who want to skip this one.

So let’s break it down a bit.

Marius is a roughly 2000 year old vampire, sired by the God of the Grove. His sire exchanged blood with him several times to ensure his strength. He is also the keeper of Those Who Must Be Kept (or was) and has drunk from Akasha several times.

Armand is Marius’ fledgling, Marius hadn’t made fledglings for a while before his Amadeo, so he got quite powerful blood.

Lestat was made by a 300 year old vampire who had never made another one before. He was deemed too strong for a fledgling (ironically by Armand‘s coven). And he then went and drank from both Marius and Akasha, resulting in a severe power-up.

Louis is Lestat’s fledgling, the third one made (in the books in a relatively short time). Of those three, he is the weakest, at least at first (though he should be physically stronger than Claudia).

Now, for the details :)

Generally, all the vampires have the same capacity for their gifts. The dark gift itself (the vampiric life) comes with side effects: the mind gift, the spell gift, the cloud gift, the fire gift. There’s also an intensified version of the last one, the killing gift, which only a handful vampires hold/held. And of course "true“ immortality, no starvation or beheading etc killing you off anymore. @nijah-archive wrote a nice summary of them here.

Marius At the time of the show (book canon or Dubai do not make that much of a difference for him imho)… Marius has severe skills in mind gift, fire gift (discovered more or less by accident) and in cloud gift. He is closing in on being truly immortal. He obviously knows how to use the spell gift (he has lots of human servants and influences the habitants of an island etc) but does not use them to the extent that Armand does (for example). He is stronger than others his age because of his exposure to Akasha‘s blood.

Armand has severe powers focused on mind gift and spell gift. He is 500 years old in (book) IWTV - and spent most of that time in a cult, telling him he is a child of Satan. Others have noted it, and I do think it is likely, that he spent a lot of his time disassociating, and therefore developing these particular skills further. He can call those who wish to die, and he can trap others in illusions. He is also a master manipulator. When he encounters Lestat he immediately falls for him, and tries to win him over with a combination of threat, spell gift and mind gift, literally hurting Lestat’s lover Nicki, and trying to bind him in illusions, while force-feeding on him. (That didn’t go over well). The show gives us Armand with the cloud gift, and the ability to withstand the sun. Personally I take these simple facts (and Fareed being there, and the sheer fact that there is a MARIUS painting in the apartment) as certain hints, which would mean that Armand himself also got a certain power upgrade fairly recently. EDIT: A helpful anon pointed out that he had it after/since Memnoch, so this should be noted here. It does fit with the timeframe imho. The time itself is not "enough“ for this kind of power upgrade, supposedly it takes a few thousand years to withstand the sun. He can likely not use the killing gift, though it is highly likely that he got the access to the fire gift, too. He might also not be truly immortal yet, sun-resistance or not.

Lestat, as stated before, was turned with significant power (too). Off the bat he focuses on the physical skills though (although it might be reasoned that he just didn’t know better). When Gabrielle is turned, it is immediately apparent that she can hear the other vampires better. Lestat strains to improve his skill (and he does). He can call humans and animals to himself (mind/spell gift). He is also mentally strong enough to break out of Armand’s spell gift by sheer will. Later he regularly scans and listens in on others, and is exceptionally able to lock down his own mind completely (that has been noted several times in the books), and "rebuffs“ others mentally meaning he has significant access to the spell gift and mind gift, but/and uses it differently. The power upgrade through Marius and Akasha (IN The Vampire Lestat) did not immediately bring out the other skills for him (in the books he is simply too young), however it meant that he would survive Claudia’s attempted murder, and what happened after. Marius also showed him the telekinesis part of the mind gift. In the books, the events of Queen of the Damned leave Lestat truly immortal, and equipped with fire gift, full mind gift, and ability to withstand the sun (he tries that one out later, and then uses it for tanning ^^). Over the course of the books he drinks from other older vampires several times, as well as from… supposedly God. His strength is beyond scale, however it IS noted that he is no match in sheer physical strength for the truly ancient ones (several thousand years old). In the show… well Lestat is 130 years older (than in the books). He would have had more experience with the vampiric gifts in general, which explains (imho) why he can access the power upgrade ones. It is noted that Nicki happened over 100 years ago, which leaves a significant gap. We know he did indeed encounter Marius through the Those Who Must Be Kept mention. If Lestat went and slept (as in the books, just longer) then his blood would have distilled somewhat before Marius woke him. (Which would make Louis somewhat stronger than in the books, too (imho).) Show Lestat has the cloud gift and a very powerful mind gift/spell gift already, though it does seem as if it takes a significant amount of power still (bleeding ears and he seems weak after). Probably indicating fairly recent acquisition, which would fit with the show/book timeline and an encounter of Marius/Those Who Must be Kept just prior to coming to the US. His little trick to stop the time is actually "just“ a rather clever combination of mind gift (telekinesis) and spell gift. (As it is something that obviously can come in very handy it doesn’t really surprise me he would have developed it, bc. he is often very practical/matter-of-fact with his gifts.)

Now Louis. Supposedly Louis is one of the weakest vampires. The most human-like. And in the books he keeps the possibility of suicide-by-the-sun as a kind of trump card till Merrick, refusing several offers for ancient blood. In the show Louis says he could hear Claudia calling for help, and he does call out to her, mentally. However she is able to lock him out, instinctively, which indicates that his mind gift is not overly developed. And he apparently does not hear or notice any other vampires close by either (contrary to Lestat who can hear them on long distance). Louis also gets a severe power upgrade after/at the end of Merrick. Show/Dubai Louis quite apparently has drunk from powerful sources, Armand obviously, and maybe others. (He always had an affinity for setting things on fire, so when he demonstrated the fire gift there were lots of "uh ohs“ by book readers :))) However he obviously is not strong enough to withstand the sun and the cloud gift is also very unlikely (though not impossible as of now). As I said before it actually sets the show in a very specific time slot book-wise if we can take the shown skills as literal hints.

So in summary:

The gifts and the powers of them depend a bit on their respective usage and affinity. And the personal approach. And circumstance :)

Obviously the access (time or powerful/old blood) has to be a given, i.e. Lestat in the books only tries out the cloud gift after knowing he has it.

It’s practice IF and WHEN you can.

And, it depends where you put the focus. Lestat also knows the killing gift because Akasha taught him in order for him to serve her. But it’s a skill based on the mind gift and fire gift.

Louis barely has any gifts for a long time because Lestat tries to keep him as human as possible, for a lot of reasons. It will be interesting to see if the show addresses that. Him developing (or adopting) the fire gift with the power through blood is not surprising, unfortunately (coughs).

If we (hopefully) get our seasons we will likely get more displays of these skills, too.

I, personally, like the way they approach them very, very much. And they also fit for me with the adapted timelines. Hope this made sense to you! Please don't hesitate to ask if you have further questions!

[banisheed]

TIMING: Current LOCATION: Ireland PARTIES: Siobhan (@banisheed) & Anita (@gossipsnake) CONTENT: Unsanitary tw, Domestic Abuse tw (reference to child abuse)  SUMMARY: Siobhan wants to thank her lawyer! Unfortunately, she has a very strange idea of what a gift should be and something lurking in the moors is feeling a little less grateful. 

“I suppose you have questions,” Siobhan said, leading Anita through the winding moors. She might’ve had questions about where they were going; Siobhan said it was a “thank you” and a “gift” and “don’t worry about it”. She might’ve had questions about the trial; of which Siobhan had explained nothing more to Anita than the perfunctory information. She might’ve even had questions about this strange, post-trial state; wasn’t the last thing Anita knew that Siobhan was supposed to be back home? It was embarrassing to tell your lawyer that after all her hard work, you got kicked out again, so Siobhan didn’t say anything. She’d shown back up, and that was it. To Siobhan, Anita herself was a mystery. To Siobhan, their delicate relationship—a pas de deux—didn’t involve incriminating personal details; details that would ruin the fun. All of Siobhan’s life was a detail that would ruin something. 

Siobhan knew exactly as much about Anita as she wanted to: she was hot and she was not human. If she found out there was some tragic history behind those boobs, she'd never be able to appreciate them unabashedly again. She could hardly appreciate them unabashedly now, knowing that behind those boobs, was someone who knew more about her than she’d ever intended. Siobhan couldn’t undo Anita’s memory, and she couldn’t deny answering any questions after all Anita did for her, and knowing she was stuck with the scales balanced against her, Siobhan hatched an idea. Maybe she could stifle curious impulses with a show of gratitude but mostly, she’d rebalance those scales and return to staring unabashedly at Anita’s breasts. 

“I just need–Oh! There he is!” Out of the shrubs, a lanky, wet-faced man appeared holding two wooden clubs. Wordlessly, he banged them together. “Anita, this is Regis. Yes, like the club we burned down. The name is strangely popular.” Regis continued to bang his clubs together. “He, well….” Siobhan patted him on the shoulder, brushing past. Once she was gone, he mouthed something to Anita that might have been ‘help me’ or ‘kelp free’—it was hard to say with humans. “Regis, that wasn’t what I had in mind when I said ‘club music’,” she called out behind her, “but come along you two; the gift for a good lawyer awaits.” 

—

When Anita had received a postcard inviting her to Ireland with a poorly drawn image vaguely suggesting she may get to finally see Siobhan naked - or at least her breasts - there was no part of her that ever could have predicted the way things ended up going. Practically from the moment she stepped foot in this country she was met with one unexpected event after another: banshees, fae, secret fae societies, confusing fae ritualistic trials, bones that are lawyers? By her nature Anita was inquisitive and rarely ever satisfied. That was why she was so drawn to entomology, drawn to the observation and understanding of behavior and interactions between species. She always had a question at the ready. 

Except here and now, she was at a loss. Even with Siobhan’s slight prompting, Anita was unsure of what to ask. There had always been a delicious mystery about Siobhan that made her practically ravenous for information. But now she couldn’t help but wonder if she knew too much. Despite their natural height difference, it didn’t seem as though Siobhan wasn’t on an unreachable pedestal any longer. In fact it felt like she was well within Anita’s grasp. But she was feeling something she didn’t know how to rationalize. Instead of having an endless list of questions that were demanding answers, Anita felt strangely compelled to share about her own family. 

But thankfully before Anita could speak and make a fool of herself, they had apparently arrived at their strange and vaguely ominous gift that Siobhan had promised. “What’s up, Regis?” She acknowledged as he diligently banged the clubs together, keeping a fairly decent rhythm. She paused slightly when the poor guy asked for help, but just shrugged and shook her head, “Sorry, amigo, I’m not a real lawyer.” She then walked past him as she followed Siobhan through the bushes. “So, you’ve been really intentionally vague about this gift it seems. You’re not going to try and kill me, are you? Because… that would be a real mood killer.” 

_ 

Regis continued his ‘club music’, emphatically banging out an SOS message on the two clubs; Siobhan continued her charge ahead. “I wouldn’t kill you, Anita. Whose breasts would I stare at? My own?” Siobhan hummed; her spirits were higher than she thought they would be. This was the happiest she’d been since coming to Ireland, and it was all for one stupid idea. Nothing could delight quite like mischief, she supposed. “There!” Siobhan ran forward, cackling back at Anita. As a little girl, she’d run through the moors like she owned them. As an adult, not much had changed. 

They approached a stretch of flat moorland, free of the usual low shrubs and wildflowers. In the center, on an old easel, was a painting. Siobhan skipped beside it, picking pain out of her nail beds. “It’s you,” she said, because she knew it was not abundantly clear from looking at her painting what the subject was meant to be. Art was one of those skills her mother deemed useless, and so, Siobhan was not an artist. “I couldn’t remember what color you were. Of snake. That’s what you are right? A…lame-eye?” What she’d painted was a busty green blob, simultaneously abstract and extremely vulgar. Anita in her painting was, obviously, naked. Siobhan smiled; if Anita hated it, then this would be really funny. If Anita liked it, then… Fuck. Then she would’ve done something nice for someone. She hadn’t intended to do that. Yes, give Anita a thank you but not like that; not tenderly, not compassionately. A completely unemotional thank you, an obligation. A scheme to feel less guilty about staring at Anita’s breasts. 

Siobhan’s gaze raked over the spot she’d picked out. Regis’s ‘club music’ continued to fill the air. This would be a good spot to dance, she thought; because she knew Anita liked it. Because she knew if this trip to Ireland ever would’ve been something to make Anita happy (why did she want to make Anita happy?) it would’ve involved a club, a few drinks, some dancing. Siobhan pulled out the bottle of whiskey she’d stashed behind the canvas. She popped the cork off and took the first swig, long and deep. Then, held it out for Anita. “Thank you for being my lawyer,” she said. 

—

“Your breasts are exceptional to stare at,” Anita commented, smirking to herself slightly. While she certainly hoped that wasn’t the exclusive reason she wasn’t going to be murdered she wasn’t about to turn down the compliment, either. “But I get your point. Staring at your own breasts is simply not as fun.” The area around them was so breathtaking. While few others might recognize the similarities, it was hard for Anita not to see the parallels between these green pastures and the rough desert of where she was from. Had she not slithered through the sands, intentionally ignoring recent atrocities, with the same bountiful carefree spirit that seemed to enthrall Siobhan? 

So, Anita decided to let herself slip into that familiar mindset. Approaching the lone easel a few ideas ran through her mind. But this was not going to be a fun evening of the two of them taking turns painting one another, evidently, as Siobhan had already taken the liberty of painting what… was supposed to be Anita. Her luscious eyebrows raised, as the rest of her facial muscles tensed up slightly before they did anything that might inadvertently offend. It only took but a small moment for Anita to be able to find the beauty in what had been painted and a genuine smile spread across her face before she could stop it. 

For all of their years teaching beside one another in their human disguises, Siobhan had only seen Anita in her true form once. Yet when she decided to paint her - despite the proportions astronomically outrageous, coloring all wrong, and there being legs where a tail should be - Siobhan painted the snake. That was how she saw herself. “Well, the colors aren’t quite right at all. More desert, less true green. And it’s pronounced lamia.” Why could she not acknowledge that she was touched by the gesture? That it felt nice to be seen, even through a strange and abstract lens. 

Turning towards the sound of the uncorking bottle, Anita snapped out of her own head. “You should see me naked for real sometime, then take another crack at it. Might inspire your artistic endeavors.” As she reached out to grab the bottle, her nose scrunched up slightly at the words that followed. “I thought that phrase was off-limits. Or is it just that other people can’t say it around you?” 

—

“Lamia,” Siobhan repeated in her best imitation of Anita’s accent, which was by normal standards a terrible imitation of it. Why did it matter how she pronounced it? Yet, just as she’d absorbed Anita’s corrections on her paintings—yes, next time, more brown—she took in the pronunciation. Why did it matter? Friend or co-worker or friend of a friend; Anita’s status seemed mutable, or rather, she’d hoped it was mutable. She’d hoped she could send Anita out of her mind and away as just an acquaintance. But she’d helped her and she’d done it for nothing. Anita had helped her for nothing. “No it’s not correct but the tits are,” Siobhan gestured to the painting and grinned, happily accepting the objection her stomach gave. If Anita’s breasts looked like two noodles, it would’ve been accurate. 

It was always easier to talk about breasts than it was anything else. “And where would be the fun in that?” Siobhan’s lips twitched up into a lopsided smile. It was easier to talk about Anita naked than it was anything else. She wanted them to stay there: in the realm of casual flirtation and weightless words that could float away and mean nothing. But she’d thanked her and Anita had caught it. “I didn’t say it lightly,” she admitted. “I wanted to thank you, so I did. It’s not ‘off-limits’, it’s…” Siobhan glanced at Regis. “He said it, so now he’s making club music. Offering gratitude to a fae is—to borrow a snake metaphor—putting…venom in the fangs?” She shrugged. “You understand the idea.” 

There was no escaping it now; the truth constricted around her. “I wanted to do something nice for you, evidently,” Siobhan said, unable to hide the tinge of bitterness in her voice, or the tensing of her jaw. Who was she? What was she trying to do? Those questions chewed and teared at her flesh. All she could say was that she’d thought this was a good idea and then she’d done it and maybe it was meant to be an unemotional thank you or maybe she’d intended for more or maybe there was something wormed into her brain that was fond of Anita—that had once, and would again, call her a friend. “Don’t drink all that; I need it to block Regis out.” 

—

“You don’t see how it would be fun to see me naked? I’m practically offended at the implication. But, whatever, it’s your loss.” It felt strange, standing there in the clearing, while that clearly distressed man played club music, as the two of them shared drinks from a bottle of whiskey in front of this painting and talked about being naked. As if there were not more important things to talk about. But then the conversation shifted, into some slightly more important things. Thanks and the apparent power that it held. 

“My venom doesn’t make people bang sticks together when I tell them to. It travels through the bloodstream, destroying a person from the inside out.” Anita knew that magic made her and her family the way that they were, but she did not believe that magic was more powerful than she was. It was a nice gesture even if Anita didn’t know what to do about it. After taking another drink of the whiskey, she passed the bottle back. “Why don’t you just tell him to stop?” 

Maybe it was the whiskey talking, or the fact that for however brief a moment Anita thought she might never see Siobhan again, or the eerie club music, but she decided to just say what was on her mind. “A big part of my job is just observation. Studying behavior, identifying patterns, seeing what happens when routines are disrupted.” She looked away, pretending it was to observe the beautiful nature around them. “Every time I think I’m close to figuring out a pattern with you there’s a shift, often subtly, in your behavior.” Even in their current interaction, Anita felt she was simultaneously being kept at arm's length while being offered something that seemed like it came with an unimaginable amount of trust. She admittedly liked being kept on her toes, she liked having to keep trying to understand, but that didn’t make it any less exhausting. Turning back towards Siobhan, she shrugged slightly, feeling as though she had said too much, “Does Regis not know any other songs?” 

_ 

“Where’s the fun in having it happen so easily?” Anita was obviously attractive; Siobhan thought commenting on it was as useful as pointing out the color of the sky. Her first thought upon seeing Anita all those months ago, at their shared workplace, had to be how much she would’ve liked to see her naked. And it had happened then, where would they be now? Would Anita have cast her aside? Would she have cast Anita away? Why did the thought of throwing Anita aside now, or being thrown aside by her, make her stomach clench? Siobhan took the bottle eagerly, swinging back another long sip; the burn was an instant relief. Perhaps Anita could do it, but Siobhan knew she was unable to; they knew each other through an inextricable layer of intimacy. Time could not reverse; truth was permanent: Anita had come here, seen her, been painted, been thanked. She didn’t want to add something else that couldn’t be taken back. At what point did Siobhan stop being the exciting river full of prospects and turn into the rock of Fool’s Gold?

“Hot.” Siobhan smiled. “The part about destroying people from the inside out; you should talk like that more often. It’d take you from a five to an eight.” Anita was not a five, of course, and for the transgression of even joking about it, her stomach clenched hard and she fought to keep her posture straight. Siobhan took another swig and passed the bottle back. She gestured to Regis, who was now crying. “Now where’s the fun in that?” 

And it was that lie that burned through her, that made it impossible to give another. Siobhan cursed under her breath; if she’d known Anita would take the conversation this way, she wouldn’t have wasted her body’s energy on a stupid, obvious lie for the sake of a stupid, transparent tease. She couldn’t lie but she could deflect. “A little funny coming from you, Anita. You’re more tender than you let on. I’ve seen you with Metzli; you’re…squishy. And yet, I think I could walk a trail of women back to your cold-blooded heart who liken you to a…cactus. You might’ve gotten soft, but you can’t ignore your prickly past.” Siobhan frowned. “I’m usually more poetic. I must be tipsy.” She hoped her point still stood, and wouldn’t acknowledge how much she believed in it: Siobhan was nothing more than herself, threaded through time. All of it, horrible. All of it, her.

Siobhan turned her attention to the crying human, admittedly a much less attractive sight. “Regis, play something…” She paused. At once, bile rose up and shot down her throat; her body stiffened. With the ease of a woman who had lived to endure, she suppressed her scream to a hiccup—enough to give her the flash of Regis’s body crumpling but nothing more. She could’ve held all of the scream back, or none of it, but her curiosity won and her affection for Anita kept her quiet.  “Oh.” She shivered, grinning like a cat. “Play something more…funeral, will you?” Siobhan turned to Anita with all of her glamor dropped: in full glory of her black eyes and scarred skin and new, dark cracks across her face. “He’s going to die,” Siobhan explained casually to Anita. “That’s what I can do; perhaps it’s less exciting than venom.” She smiled. “Perhaps it’ll help your scientific study of me.”

—

There was a point, one that would never be conceded by the lamia, that there was some more fun in whatever it was the two of them had been doing. That wasn’t to say Anita didn’t have fun with the nameless faces she picked up at bars around town, those who might make her jump through a few hoops before they would fall into bed with her, but it was certainly a different type of fun. It scratched a different type of itch. Siobhan left Anita with an itch that could only be soothed, pacified, but never truly relieved. She had thought that they would be going their separate ways and that being on different continents would allow it to mellow - but those were no longer the circumstances they were faced with. 

Her eyes narrowed and the corner of Anita’s mouth twitched somewhat playfully at the obvious lie about how hot she was. It should probably have been concerning to her that she found Siobhan’s ability to lie with such a convincing tone exceptionally hot. Taking the bottle back, shrugging as she took a long drink, Anita decided to play along. “That’s fair. In this form,” she said gesturing to her current human appearance, “it would be quite hard to go higher than an eight.” 

She had started to take another sip when Siobhan responded, turning the tables and opting to analyze Anita’s behavior instead of providing any insight into her own. The whiskey in that sip burned a bit harsher than the others. Anita didn’t like being called squishy. She didn’t like the implication that her prickly days were in her past and not an active part of her present. Before she had time to begin to defend herself against these accusations of tenderness (not that she truly knew how she would, without exaggerating some truths) something strange began to happen. 

The noise that croaked out of Siobhan’s throat sounded so strange, it didn’t hurt like the screams of a banshee she had heard at the trial but it was unsettling all the same. Anita’s mouth gaped open slightly - not in disgust or shock but in complete awe - at the reveal of Siobhan’s un-glamoured self. The scars and cracks across her pale skin almost looked like scales. “How is he going to die?” Anita wasn’t entirely sure if she would have the answer to that question, but figured it was important to figure out if this was a situation where the two of them might be in danger after Regis died. Shifting just her eyes, to allow herself to use her thermal vision without tearing apart her really cute outfit, Anita could spot several very small heat signatures close to the ground. “Huh,” she said aloud. 

The small heat signatures grew, approaching Regis with exceptional speed. The figures overwhelmed him, as he seemed physically unable to use the clubs in his hands to defend himself or to stop making music until his body collapsed to the ground, devoid of movement. The creatures did not stop there, however, as they continued on an apparent war path towards the two professors. “Mierde…,” Anita grumbled, fairly sure this wasn’t a situation one could just talk their way out of. 

_ 

Some questions had quick answers; as was the case with Regis and the leprechauns. Swallowed by them in a crashing wave, his music took a new, experimental shape: first his screams, then his life gurgling in his throat, then the thumps and the hissing squelches. The leprechauns took his clubs and tenderized his spatchcoked body, flicking up the pulp of his flesh. More tiny gray bodies clambered over, clicking and whistling at them. The gore of the scene didn’t bother Siobhan, she adored the abstraction of a body turned inside out, and only found it strange that her mind drifted to Ingeborg—the only other attractive professor, besides the two of them, worth considering—and if she found artistic merit in violence. What bothered her was the pace at which her mind was answering its own questions. Some questions were better left with an air of mystery, at least so she had time to work the bitter taste of shame out of her mouth. 

Why were the leprechauns here? Siobhan recognized one of them, held aloft by the others, pointing and clicking. Why were the leprechauns so mad? She recognized that damn, slippery, insipid creature that refused to stay tied up. Would these fae hurt another fae? Outcasts didn’t count, as her aching back could attest. Would she hurt them? If ever she truly wanted to become the Siobhan she ought to be, rather than the fractured Siobhan that she was, she would’ve taken all of Regan’s wings. The opportunity was placed into her hands and she alone threw it away. Time and time again, she’d been given the chance to prove herself and again, and again, she couldn’t. Her nature, she supposed, breathed like the wind through the moors: one way and then the next. It would’ve been easier to say that as a respectable fae, she wouldn’t harm a single leprechaun, but where was the fun in that?

Truthfully, Siobhan always hated leprechauns. Truthfully, Siobhan wondered what it would feel like if the next time she hurt a fae, it was her genuine intention. If she was a disgrace regardless, if she could never be loved or accepted, could she instead wield her own deplorability? And hadn’t she in some way been doing exactly that all along? The answer to which version of herself she should be continued to slip away from her, but as the conviction to give in to her ruined reputation rose, her need to find the answer diminished. She didn’t want to be herself, she was only ever herself, she wanted to find a better self, there was no better self, and hadn’t she known it all along? 

“I hope you enjoy violence, Anita.” Siobhan smiled, watching the tide of tiny gray bodies. She had wasted so much of her life pleading with other fae: to take her back, to leave her wings alone, to accept her, to not cast her out, to love her. Did these leprechauns have any intentions to have a conversation? If she’d managed to take a leprechaun, and if it’d managed to get on stage, would it have clicked and whistled in her favor? And would it have mattered knowing that all it took in the end was Wynne declaring something that they didn’t understand? Despite what certain Clare’s may think, there was a line Siobhan had never crossed; one unspoken rule of fae identity that remained her last tether to them. Fae did not kill other fae. Fae hurt other fae—as Siobhan herself could attest, and Regan as she pushed her grandmother into Farraige na Buanachta (although in Siobhan’s always-correct opinion that did essentially constitute a murder), and hundreds of mothers and daughters so on and so forth—but fae did not kill each other. 

Siobhan turned away from Anita and screamed, popping the heads off hundreds of gray bodies, transforming them into fountains of rock-skin and blood. 

—

The creatures that pooled into the clearing were so incredibly curious. They almost moved like a swarm of ants - dozens of small bodies using numbers as their overwhelming force. Anita admired their collective efforts even if they were, ultimately, going to be quite futile. From what she knew about Siobhan, from how she had seen her fight before, it was clear to her that numbers would not be the determining factor in this fight. 

“Oh, you have no idea,” Anita responded with a smirk. Watching the off colored small creatures charge towards them she fantasized about the different ways that she could destroy them if she shifted into her full form. There was the classic, simply swallowing her enemies whole. With the size difference, she could also simply use the crushing weight of herself to squash the critters like bugs. She wondered what color would ooze out of them - would it be a dark red like humans or would it match their gray exteriors? 

But before Anita allowed herself to transform she realized that the prime ability of a banshee seemed to be their screams. It seemed like that would be a really bad mix with the lamia’s vibrational hearing. Just as she was going to ask Siobhan if her violence was going to include screams, one was already expelling out of her lungs and through the air. It was overwhelmingly loud even without her heightened senses and at least gave Anita the answer to her question:  dark red. 

The scream obliterated most of the creatures in their immediate vicinity, but there were a few that managed to slip around and were barreling towards Anita. Acting as if they were like the fútbols her father taught her how to kick when she was younger, Anita propelled a few lone stragglers away from her and into the remnants of their fellow beings. She could see that more were coming, however, and this was not an ideal positioning for an incoming attack. If she could transform and use her body to destroy dozens of creatures at a time while Siobhan screamed others into oblivion that would be one thing, but Anita wasn’t eager to figure out what being around those screams did to her lamia hearing while in the middle of a battle. Reaching out to grab Siobhan’s hand first, then grabbing the painting, Anita tilted her head away from the incoming hoard of little gray gremlins, “I can see their tiny little heat signatures. There are more coming. We’re too exposed here.” 

_ 

Siobhan cackled as they moved, feeling a sprout of wildness controlling her lungs like the panting sprint of a loose dog. She owned these moors; she was born in them, queen of their wildflowers and conqueror of the brush. The leprechauns might’ve thought they’d won the moors over, popping in and out of them like gray grasshoppers, but Siobhan knew them and felt—for the first time in her life—that she knew herself genuinely: wild, untenable, and a violent delight. “I like being exposed,” she said, but despite herself, she laced her fingers with Anita’s. “But later, maybe, in a more intimate setting.” And by that she meant, of course, nothing, because they would not be having sex. (Yet) (No, never) (Ah, maybe?)

With each step, hair whipping behind her, the old crusted idea of a perfect banshee peeled off her skin. Siobhan could be this new thing: blight, terror, fae killer. She could be herself: unknown, despicable, delightful, condemned. She could greet the future with open arms. Her home was gone, the moors she commanded would miss her dearly, and any hope for a cohesive self was crushed under the thumb of a thousand Siobhans all amused by their own personal whims. She wasn’t a fae, she wasn’t a banshee, she was Siobhan and with confidence now she could say that she didn’t have a fucking clue what that meant but probably, nothing good. And nothing good might just have been her destiny all along. Nothing mattered, least of all herself. 

Unscathed, though decorated in new reds, they returned to the shack unawares of the hundreds of beady black eyes watching them, waiting for them, whistling promises into the wind. 

[eagle-eyes-sideblog]

Icarus in a Gilded Cage

Summary

An AU of SAMAU that follows a Player named Lilith. It diverges from the original quite early on, when the Auditor decides to kidnap him and Lilith reacts... poorly.

More details on Lilith (any pronouns btw), the world they come from, and the general course of the story under the cut.

Lilith is a living weapon, stripped of faer purpose after being revealed as a deity's chosen. Frustrated and prohibited from fighting, they find different ways to relieve their stress. One of his new interests is watching Madness Combat and playing Project Nexus.

Her personality quickly endears her to her vessels. Although vir aim is... lackluster, ve makes up for it with sheer enthusiasm and bloodlust. Their strategic mind isn't half bad, either. And thus the AU begins as usual... until, of course, Lilith is actually brought to Nevada.

The Auditor decides to intervene after Lilith mysteriously vanishes. Unbeknownst to him, xe's been on the run for the last few months, and xe are not happy with being put in another cage.

Violence ensues. I have two ideas for how this goes from here, one where Lilith stays and one where it leaves.

If Lilith leaves, voi does so immediately. She is absolutely furious, and more than a little terrified that the Employers will trap her again. So he escapes into the wild and lives on his own for a while.

I imagine ve's very, very cautious at first. They aren't quite sure if they can trust... well, anyone here. And it's used to being on its own for months at a time, especially in hostile territory; there isn't an urgent need for allies.

However, eventually her lack of direction starts to get to her. He decides to try and carry out the original story. Fae begins by contacting 2BDamned, hoping to join as some kind of mercenary—the one-man-army fae was created to be.

I have no ideas past this point. At least for now. Sorry!

In the one where he stays, he's closest to Stygian. Their respectful mannerisms make fae much more trusting of them; they are the first Employer (and, if fae has faer way, the only Employer) who learns about what Lilith is and what that means.

Which reminds me: I should probably explain that in a bit more detail. Along with some more worldbuilding.

See, Lilith is some kind of magical/biological construct, designed for a very specific purpose. Like other living weapons, they're very efficient in energy use; they can go without eating or sleeping for weeks at a time with very few negative effects. Its biological aspects mean it can operate very independently on the battlefield, unlike actual machines. He can make his own repairs, and he gradually heals over time.

As for specifics... She's a close combat fighter. Xir small frame (well, compared to others like xem) make xem nimble and extremely fast.

Each living weapon is assigned a handler. Lilith's relationship with her own is somewhere between parental and military. Fae refers to them as faer commander. Lilith feels betrayed by them, but even so, he misses them dearly.

And what happened that made Lilith feel so betrayed? Well... Being a deity's chosen means that it's no longer allowed to fight. They're considered 'too valuable' to risk. It makes her feel weak, fragile, as if she can't take care of herself. Ve doesn't need to be protected, and yet everyone insists that ve does. Eventually, xe can't take it any more. He decides to break free from the gilded cage he's trapped in.

This is why she reacts so poorly to the Employers' attitude towards her. :D

[tealenko]

The Three Letters (Chapter 9)

Chapter 9: Close Enough to Touch

Holy shit, I've made it. yayyyyy~~~ You're gonna love this one (I do, at least XD) next chapter won't be so long, so it will take less than usual (sorry... I know, I been writing this for 2 years and I'm only halfway there... You can blame my job XDDD) Go to AO3 for more footnotes, I'll tell you more there! ~tea

Summary: Lara and Jacob spend some time alone while everyone else is asleep, having to navigate their own expectations after being apart for almost 4 years.

Words: 6226 Rating: Teens and Up (Mature~ish) Warnings: smooches and lots of tension (we're here for the slow burn)

All Chapters -> [link] Read in AO3 -> [link]

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The orange-lit valley of Lara’s memories fades little by little to become the present, thanks in part to the crackling sound of the bonfires as their lives come to an end, finding in them a similar tone of color to the sky she was remembering so vividly only a few seconds ago.

Once her journey is done, she realizes that most of the people have disappeared, already back to their cabins to get some sleep before the sun is up again, and the few left, are way too busy to pay attention to the fact that she’s been frozen in the same spot for a while now.

Her mind had also been too occupied, filling every little fragment of Jacob’s story with the unspoken details only known by the two of them, to realize that he was no longer there either.

Lara’s eyes search for him for a few more seconds but, instead, they find Sofia, who has already finished redistributing tasks and is eager to go rest a little.

“Here everything is taken care of, Lara, stop looking for things to do or people to help.”

“What…?” She’s confused for a moment until she understands what she’s implaying. “Ah, yeah… You know me.” She replies, hiding her true motives to be scouring the area. “I cannot stay still and do nothing.”

“Well, I think you should really go and rest… But something tells me you won’t take my advice.”

“Is that so?” She asks, not really paying much attention to her, still trying to see if she’s able to find Jacob among the people that are cleaning and rearranging the whole place back to normal.

“Yes, I’m an expert in the matter. I grew up with my father, afterall.” Sofia laughs a little at her own thoughts. “You two are too much alike when it comes to things like this.”

Lara’s head turns quickly to look back at her, instantly regaining all her interest in record time.

“Perhaps… I don’t see him helping now, though.” She tries her best to hide the true meaning of her words, hoping that Sofia will answer her question without having to ask directly.

And so she does.

“Ah yeah, he offered, of course, but Levi insisted on taking care of everything and extinguishing the bonfires in his place.” She replies, unaware she’s about to tell Lara what she was too afraid to ask. “After some hesitation he agreed. Told us he was going to take a walk, that he needed to reflect on today’s events or something of sorts.”

“I see…” Lara smiles softly at her, with her mind working as fast as usual, as she tries her best to come up with an excuse that helps her to go see Jacob without having to explain it to anyone, especially to Sofia.

For once, despite what she thinks at the beginning, the universe seems to agree with her wishes and, before she’s able to come up with something on her own, grants her the perfect opportunity she was looking for.

“Lara…” Levi yells from afar, cutting her line of thoughts with the sudden interruption. “Need some help here, mind to lend a hand?”

She curses her luck for a second, knowing it’s more important to aid the village than to go look for Jacob but, just as she’s about to comply with his request, she sees Sofia’s expression out of the corner of her eye.

Interesting. Lara thinks, surprised at her own perception abilities, which usually don’t help her too much when it comes to processing other people's feelings.

“One sec!” She decides to yell at Levi, raising her index finger in the air to accompany her answer.

She then spends the next three looking for a way to approach the situation as gently as possible but, to her surprise, Sofia decides to take the first step.

“Erm… Lara…” There’s hesitation on her voice and, for the first time ever, Lara seems to notice her friend’s cheeks blushing a little. “Would you mind if I… I…”

She doesn’t need more than that to be sure of what she's trying to do and, seeing that both of their goals can be achieved at the same time, she decides to spare her friend’s agony and give her exactly what she wants while pretending she is unaware of her feelings.

“Sorry, Sofia.” Lara cuts her mid sentence. “It’s been a long day… And I know it’s too much to ask…” She takes a small pause, giving her the opportunity to understand what she’s trying to do. “But, would you mind taking my place to help Levi? I… I really need to put my thoughts into order.”

Sofia smiles from ear to ear and nods, giving a hug to her friend while mumbling something about her last statement and how it confirms yet again how similar Lara and her father truly are.

She is gone before Lara can add anything else, so she takes a deep breath and starts walking without a set course.

Her original plan to search for Jacob dilutes with the first few steps, knowing it will be close to impossible to find him in the valley without having any hint of his whereabouts. 

So, instead, she engages in what, at the beginning, was only an excuse and starts to reflect on everything that’s happened to her in just one day, letting her feet guide her without a fixed route.

And there goes another thing that she shares with Jacob.

Completely unaware, her body follows the same path he did, finding herself near the peak of the mountain in record time.

She takes the right trail once the observatory is on sight, not even remembering it’s the one that ends at the top of the waterfall, the one that he took only a few minutes ago, the one he takes almost every night.

“...”

Lara is a bit surprised, at first, to find him there. 

With the darkness of the night enveloping them, the stars and the moon are the only sources of light illuminating the enchanted scenery. However, the sound of water flowing to crash in the distance, quickly lets her know where both Jacob’s and her own feet had decided to lead them, and suddenly, she understands.

I think it may be my favorite place in the entire world.

His words echo in her mind as she gazes at him, tracing his features as the light of the moon unveils every single detail on his face.

“Should’ve known you’d be here…” She smiles a little when she observes him getting startled, snappin back from his inner thoughts in record time before standing up to face her.

“Lara…” Jacob blinks a couple of times, almost as if he’s making sure that her presence there isn’t just a figment of his own imagination.

“Sorry,” she’s still smiling as she says this, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Oh, please, don’t worry about it.” He’s the one smiling now, pleased to see her now that he’s sure she’s real. “Come, sit with me.”

Jacob offers her a hand and Lara takes it without hesitation, walking next to him for a few steps before they sit right where he was a few seconds ago, letting their legs hang on the cliff as they face the dark view of the waterfall.

They shouldn’t be able to see it, with the sun gone for many hours now, but the water cascades so swiftly and tumultuously that it’s able to trap the subtle glow of the night sky and create a light of its own.

“Long day?”

The subtle roar of the water fills the background of their conversation, creating a soothing melody to accompany their words.

“Yeah…” She laughs a little. “In a good way… But yes.”

She lowers her head a little, moving her upper body forward just an inch, to have a better view of how the water splashes against the river so many feet below them.

“Almost seems like this morning started a couple years ago…” Lara stares at the distant riverscape, starting to understand the love that Jacob holds in his heart for this place. “But, somehow, it also feels like the day has gone by in just a second.”

Her head moves slowly before she shrugs her shoulders.

“I’m not making any sense, right?”

Lara chuckles, and he follows her right away, letting their eyes meet each other in the process.

“More than you can imagine, believe me.”

The gentle light of the crescent moon may not be strong enough to illuminate the whole valley, nor even the small section they find themselves sitting at, but it lets them see each other and, whatever is left, is rebuild in their minds using both their hearing and memory to fill whatever their eyes cannot picture on their own.

Jacob scoots closer to her and points at something, she doesn’t recall what, too busy taming her heart, which seems to want to exit her chest, completely overwhelmed by the sudden proximity between them.

Thankfully, there’s no need to hear him for, what she assumes must be the depiction of something that cannot be witnessed in the dark of the night, turns out to be a mere excuse his mind has found to get closer to her.

Their arms are now glued, one next to the other and, with a cold air flow coming from her left, Lara shivers and, despite not knowing if the cause of it it’s the temperature or having Jacob right next to her, this one doesn’t let the opportunity pass, quickly grabbing her hand to shelter it in between his own.

The clear difference in their temperature alarms him for a moment and, what usually would’ve cost him a lot of fortitude and hesitation, suddenly comes out as a gesture of endearment, quickly moving even closer to grab her left hand to keep it right next to the other.

“You’re freezing, Lara.”

“Just a bit…” She glances at what she's wearing for a second. “This type of clothing worked just fine last time I was here. Then again, I guess I never stopped and sat down… Kinda spent most of my time here running, which would explain a lot, actually.”

Jacob looks at her clothes too, shaking his head a couple of times.

“It also doesn’t help that your coat it’s worn-out to the point where every inch of it is either paper thin and about to be torn into pieces or already stitched back together.”

Lara blushes a little, regaining the control of her hands before hugging herself and the jacket in question, almost as if she's trying to protect it both from the air and from his comments.

“Well, I happen to like it.” She tells him using a tone of voice that’s very close to defensive. 

“I can tell.” He adds in between giggles, finding her reaction very endearing, teasing her about the whole topic.

She frowns but is unable to hold her smile and, with her right arm, she nudges him with her elbow, punching him a little to the side.

“Shut up.”

Jacob breaks instantly into laughter, scooting back a little after recovering his initial posture, and bringing her back to sit on top of him, using his arms to embrace her whole body before covering her hands once again.

His initial movement is born from a place of concern, wanting to shelter her from the cold air as much as possible but, no matter what his motives were at the beginning, once his pose is locked in, his mind starts to travel to other places, almost forgetting the chivalry that brought him to that posture on the first place.

Lara starts talking, but he’s unable to hear her.

Despite trying his best, his whole body is way too focused on his own selfish reasons to hear what she says, for almost a minute.

“... and it has kept me warm in countless situations.” That’s the only piece of her sentence that manages to win back his attention, regaining his focus on what she’s telling him. “And… And…”

Jacob laughs and relaxes a little, letting a deep breath out before resting his head on top of her shoulder.

“And…?”

“Well…” She looks up for a few seconds before setting her eyes back again on the dark valley, letting a big breath out in the process. “And I guess… I like it too much to get rid of it.”

Lara lets her weight rest onto him even more, getting comfortable in his arms.

“There, I said it.” She adds, a bit amused by her own shyness. “Happy now?”

He smiles, indeed happy, not only about her comment, but also because of their current situation and her overall presence back in his life.

“Quite a lot…”

His arms strengthen their hold around her even more and he plants a soft kiss on the top of her head, lowering his head right after to whisper next to her ear.

“You have no idea… How happy I am right now.”

Jacob’s voice hits her neck in a way that it almost seems like a caress, a shiver slithering through her entire body all the way down to her feet.

His right hand betrays his will and, before he’s even aware that it's moving, quickly wraps around her waist, holding her close to him. 

By the time he realizes where his hand it’s placed, Lara has already taken the movement as an invitation, turning around, still on top of him, while moving her hands to the back of his neck, staring at his eyes while her fingers entertaining themselves with his hair.

“I…” He doesn’t even know what he wants to say when he starts talking, but it doesn’t really matter, for “I” is the only word he’s able to portray before his lips are quickly sealed by hers.

There’s a second of hesitation on his part, followed by another one of inner fight. But, after the third, he knows he’s completely lost to her.

The night is at its darkest now, letting the stars glow brighter than ever, becoming the sole witness to the scenery displayed below them, as the only two people that remain awake are way too busy to focus on anything other than each other. 

Despite the darkness, and having his eyes closed, he can feel her smiling as she kisses him, way too happy to control the corner of her lips as she lets all her weight rest against him.

Jacob mimics her expression as he allows gravity to do its job little by little, until his back is in full contact with the ground, tangling his arms around Lara to keep her glued to him.

There’s a giggle or two before the kisses resume again.

Nothing desperate or out of control. There aren’t rushed hands, scratches nor sultry words.

Neither of them knew what would really happen the first time they were alone like this but, what they had pictured in their heads over the years, looked way too different from the  unfolding reality of their current situation.

Or at least it is for Lara.

She always thought there would be an element of desperation, after being apart for so long before they even had the chance to formalize their feelings, but instead, everything seems quite the opposite of what she pictured.

Kind kisses and soft smiles, tender and unhurried, interrupted now and then by deep breaths, not the ones where you come back to the surface for some air, but the ones where you have to stop so your whole being can process everything it’s feeling.

There are light touches here and there, but they aren’t rushed either, a nice walk to warm up to their relationship instead of a full-on sprint and, being completely alone for the first time ever, except for said the shimmering stars above, they continue traveling through that path for longer than any of them can really recall, taking their time to taste the waters with the distant waterfall splashes as their main background music.

The rhythm of their exchange seems to stay the same for a long time but, little by little, the pace accelerates to something closer to the level of intimacy that she had imagined for the many years they spent apart.

Lara’s hands, feeling a sense of security after the extended warm up, start to travel under his coat, looking for a way to get in contact with his skin.

They seem to be welcomed at first, sending a shiver through Jacob’s body before he lets out a subtle giggle. Nevertheless, the moment she starts to move them, aiming to trace little by little his upper body, the cheerful expression disappears right away.

“Lara…”

She freezes and, after looking at his face for a second, retreats to a safe position, with her heart twisting inside of her for letting the whole situation reach a point where she did something she shouldn't have.

“Sorry.” She states, trying her best to get out a smile before planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

Lara turns to her left and lays next to him, thanking the night for being able to conceal all the blush of her face with its darkness.  

Jacob, on the other side, remains silent for a few seconds, with his eyes glued to the glowing stars as his breathing comes back to normal.

The silence doesn’t last for long but for Lara seems closer to an eternity, waiting patiently as she traces his features in search for a clue that tells her what she should say next.

Said clue is not needed.

Before her mind can overanalyze everything that’s happened, he rises right arm and points upwards, quickly gaining all her attention as he rescues her from her internal downward spiral.

“See that group of stars there?” Jacob moves his hands, indicating the area of the sky he’s talking about. “Three whites in a triangle form, next to one that glows somewhat bluer…”

Lara does her best to locate the stars he’s talking about.

“Errmm… ” She frowns for a second until she finally sees them. “Oh, I think I got it. In between Orion and Hydra?”

His mouth opens a little but words don’t come up. Instead, he just turns his head and stares at her, half fascinated, half enchanted, and gives her the most discernible sound he’s able to produce to confirm her statement.

“Hum…”

For a moment she forgets about everything, happy to have found the set of stars and proud of her memory for remembering something she wasn’t sure was still stored in her mind.

“So you know astronomy too.” Jacob can’t avoid laughing a little as he says this, wondering how it’s possible for someone like Lara to exist.

“Roth insisted, so I could guide myself at night if something ever happened… And I came to like it.” She replies, with a warm smile on her face. “Never used it for that purpose, but I must admit that it came in handy last time I was here though.”

She makes a spinning motion with her hand.

“Ah, yeah… The orrery.” He completes the thought for her, letting out a sight.

“Seems you like astronomy too.”

“Yeah.” 

Jacob is now feeling a bit embarrassed, picturing what she must really think of everything she discovered about him years ago in the buried lost city, but his line of thoughts is quickly cut by her next comment.

“What about them?” He is confused for a second until she specifies her question. “The stars you pointed at.”

“Ah.” Jacob replies with a tired tone of voice. “Nothing important. Some elaborated comment meant to ease your mind while you were preoccupied about the way our, erm, exchange, ended, I guess.”

Lara turns on her side to look at him, sensing, only after an instant, that he may be now the one in need of saving.

“I should’ve said it directly…” He sighs, with his eyes still lost in the sky. “But I tend to overcomplicate everything: my actions, my words… Even my past is way too tangled and surreal to be remotely believable.”

“Neither is mine.” She replies right away, winning his attention back from the heavens. “And sure, I’m not gonna say that having someone build you a gigantic orrery is something normal people do every tuesday...”

Lara laughs at her own comment, taking the opportunity to scoot a little closer to him in the meantime.

“But…” She puts emphasis on the word, letting him know her previous comment was just there to ease the tension and that she’s about to talk about what really matters to her. “You see… I happen to love the way you, how did you say it?” Lara makes a humming noise as she thinks. “Ah, yeah, the way you overcomplicate your words.”

Her words strike against his heart with accuracy. The little hesitation left, is quickly vanished as she quickly proves her point.

“Your smile, your mind, your soul… Every single part of your being seems to be designed to allure me, to control me. To leave me out of breath. Every little part of you enchants me out of reason, making the silence my only partner when, in reality, all of my heart squeals whenever you are near me and weeps upon the idea of you going away.”

Jacob listens with care to his own words from the past as she recites them, feeling his soul twisting inside his body with every metaphor that comes out of her mouth.

Once she finishes, she gets even closer to him, leaving no room left in between them.

“Cannot believe you know that from memory…”

She clears her throat to interrupt him, not needing to put into words the correction of his comment.

“I see.” He’s now the one smiling a little. “You really do know the entire thing, right?”

She nods, seeing his smile and deeping hers even more.

“So, if you don’t mind, I’d like to hear what you were going to say.” She turns to lie on her back, fixing her eyes back to the group of stars he pinpointed before, not giving him the chance to refuse her petition. “Go ahead.”

He laughs a little before giving up, planting a soft kiss on her cheek before mirroring her position to have a clear sight of the sky.

“You win…” 

His right hand rises once again, to aid him with the explanation, while the left one moves with great care to grab hers as he begins to talk. 

“You can tell, just by their colors, that those nine stars, in between the two constellations you mentioned before, have always been there.” His right arm moves a little, as he points at one of them. “Nevertheless, that one, more blue than white, right in the middle, has not been visible for most of my existence.”

Lara waits patiently, as she lets the information sink, looking for a deeper meaning to his facts until it suddenly hits her.

“Wait… Without the middle one, you would not group that as a constellation, right?”

“Right.” He laughs a little at the thought of it. “Imagine it. Spent hundreds of years learning about the webbed starry sky and one day, or better said night, I looked up and a never seen before figure was there. As if that had always been its place, for it really was… I just couldn’t see it until then.” 

He readjusts his hand to let his fingers tangle in between hers.

“I see.” Lara’s eyes are now glued to the star in question, imagining what it was like for him to discover its presence. “Made you wait a long time…”

“Best things in life… Are the ones you have to wait for.”

Her eyes travel slowly away from the topic of their conversation in search of his own, allowing his last sentence to melt into the air as she processes the true meaning behind it.

Lara smiles a little at him, comprehending now why he wanted to tell her that story in the first place.

“I loved studying the stars.” He starts saying to her, using the same tone of voice she pictured for years to reread his letter. “Knew every single constellation as if the night sky were a burned map inside my memory.” 

Jacob makes a pause there, analyzing his own past before exposing the obvious conclusion.

“Without that knowledge, well… Who would’ve noticed a new light amidst the sea of glowing creatures that inhabit our darkest hours?”

He smiles a little, still surprised with the hundreds of things that had to happen to reach this point in his life.

“But it took its time. It waited until my passion and knowledge were at their highest and, after more than seven hundred years of life, when there wasn’t anything else to learn, there it was, finally visible to my eyes, challenging everything that I considered true throughout my existence.”

The grip on her hand tightens even more, fingers pressing firmly around hers.

“Just as today, the night needed to be at its darkest, and the sky had to be completely clear for the entire system to be visible. It’s almost as if, for the first time in many centuries, everything in existence had decided to work in perfect harmony just to bewitch me with a new marvel.” 

Jacob takes a moment to breathe but, instead of continuing to talk, he decides to turn to his side, facing her, waiting patiently for a few seconds until she follows his movement and mirrors it.

“You can imagine my glee, witnessing what felt so close to a miracle, after so many years of thinking that I already knew everything there is to see about the universe.”

Lara tries to pretend that she doesn’t understand the hidden meaning behind his words, but her blood doesn’t waste time to betray her, rushing in record time to conquer her face, painting her cheeks with so much blush that, this time around, the darkness of the night is not enough to be able to conceal it.

She hides her face in his chest for a few seconds, depleted of any strength to meet his eyes, and he isn’t surprised when it takes her way longer than usual to muster the courage to resurface. 

When she eventually raises her head, in a very slow and controlled motion, her sight is quickly welcomed with a deep and radiant smile, powerful enough to dispel most of her shyness away.

Jacob’s mind scours a few new topics of conversation in an attempt to find something to ease her way back into their almost whispered dialogue but, to his surprise, she’s the one to break the silence first, making a triumphant recovery in no time.

“And you wanted to keep all that to yourself…” Lara half-mumbles as she levels the playing field a bit, making Jacob blush a little too. “Shameful.”

He laughs at her comment, nodding his head a couple of times as he surrenders to her argument.

“Thanks…” He adds, almost a murmur, seeing right through her joke to treasure the true meaning of the words inside his heart. “Thanks.”

“It’s okay.” She adds, laying on her back once again to have another look at the constellation. “More than okay…”

Jacob sits up a bit, propping himself up on his elbows and looking up too to gaze at the sky.

“Mesmerizing, if you ask me.” He starts saying, eyes still glued to the stars, oblivious to anything else as she turns her head a little to look at him. “They don’t glow as much as many of their companions in this starry night, but I find them way more magical than any of them.”

“Oh, of course.” She lets out a couple of giggles, anticipating the effect of her next words on her target. “But I was actually talking about the analogy, not the constellation in question.”

Jacob’s smile freezes momentarily. 

He does his best to control his expectations, desperately trying to avoid disappointment, wondering if he hasn’t fully grasped the true meaning of her words.

Nevertheless, he has, and far from being disappointing, they’re the exact ones he wanted to hear all this time. 

He wasn’t even aware and he didn’t know how much he needed to hear them, but the moment those few words leave her mouth, he finds himself mesmerized by the effect they cast upon him.

“I meant about waiting.” Lara confirms, letting her hand travel a little and interlocking her pinky finger with his. “I’m more than okay with it.”

“Are you sure…?”

If there was any fear in his voice, it vanishes right away, for her reply is fast and decisive, and with no hint of hesitation on sight.

“Of course.” 

Jacob finds himself lost for words, as he has many times before, but somehow manages to mouth a thank you before looking away for a moment, attempting to compose himself as he’s still not used to experiencing these levels of happiness.

“Also, it makes sense…” Lara sits up, waiting until his eyes are back on her, concluding her argument by echoing his initial metaphor. “One should learn everything there is to know about the exposed sky before venturing into exploring the unseen.”

His silence lingers, but she doesn’t need to hear it out loud to understand how he feels. 

“Besides, there’s plenty of time and…. The stars aren’t going anywhere”

It takes him a couple more seconds but, after processing everything, he’s finally able to, at least, come up with something to say.

“Right… Right.” He’s so overwhelmed with feelings that his mind acts on its own, deciding to steer the conversation away from emotions for the time being. “Wish I knew the name of those ones, though.”

“Name?”

“Yeah, your scholars have surely come up with a name for the constellation.” He fully sits, legs crossed, spending a couple seconds thanking her, in silence, for allowing him to steer their conversation to a more comfortable topic. “They’re often based on mythical creatures, animals… I’ve been wondering what it must be for many years now.”

Lara makes an effort, scouring her memory as she tries to picture her old astronomy book, knowing perfectly which chapter contains the information she needs, but unable to recollect much of the content.

“I’m sorry…” She huffs, a bit mad at herself. “Can’t seem to recall the scientific name of that constellation, wish I did.”

“Oh, it’s okay, I was mostly thinking out l…”

“But I do know it is a unicorn.”

Jacob's eyes open wide, all hesitation and emotions put on hold with this new information, needing to hear her say that last sentence one more time before he fully assimilates it.

“What?”

“The figure it creates.” She confirms, looking up for a second. “It’s supposed to be a unicorn.”

“I… See…” A smile forms little by little on his face, extremely subtle at the beginning, taking its time to eventually develop into a full grin as he stares into the sky. “A unicorn.”

She looks at him for a few seconds, treasuring his happiness deep inside her heart, before starting to sense the weight of her eyelids, realizing how tired she really is now that their conversation has reached an enjoyable conclusion.  

“Glad I could help.” Lara stands up, stretching a little before turning to look at Jacob, offering him a hand to follow her. “But I’m afraid It’s getting late…”

“Or better said, it’s getting too soon, if you think about it... But yeah.” He agrees with the overall meaning, accepting the offer and standing next to her. “Depends on the point of view, I suppose.” 

She laughs while shaking her head a couple times and, still smiling at his comment, Lara locks her arm around Jacob’s and they start walking towards the village.

With the sun about to rise, there’s now light enough to see the path, but they still take their time to get there, walking way slower than usual, none of them really wanting this day to be over.

She almost complains when he insists on walking her to her cabin, but that gives them an extra minute together and that’s more than enough to shift her initial response.

They arrive in no time, his hand holding hers as they get ready to part their ways.

They’ve talked so much through the night that there seem to be no words left. Instead, Jacob just leans forwards, cupping her face with his free hand, and plants a soft kiss on her lips, spending a few seconds there before returning to his initial posture.

“Good night…” She whispers as a goodbye, smiling from ear to ear.

He returns the smile, vowing a bit to say farewell.

“Good morning.”

His last comment gets a tiny laugh out of her, but Lara manages to suppress it fast enough to avoid waking anyone, and heads decisively through the door before she has the chance to change her mind about it.

She enters her cabin with an unseen stealth, which is saying a lot given her background, recalling everything to perfection despite the lack of light and finding her cot in record time, but unfortunately, all her efforts fall in bane, for Sofia it’s not sleeping.

Lara has changed her clothes and is already in bed when her friend decides to speak up.

“Everything okay?” Sofia half whispers from her bed. “Seems quite late.”

Her comment makes her sigh, turning a little in her bed to face the other side of the room, almost as an instinct, despite not being able to see anything in the full darkness of the cabin.

“Yeah…” She replies, choosing her words with care, not ready to share everything yet, but not wanting to lie to her either. “The walk took longer than expected. Got distracted by the views.”

“Views?”

Lara smiles, grateful once again for the lack of light as this one conceals her true feelings.

“Got lost into the stars…” She admits, letting her back rest now against the bed as she stares at the ceiling, painting lights onto it with her imagination for a few seconds. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.”

She hears a subtle laugh from the other side of the room, almost a sound of resignation.

“Oh, don’t worry, it wasn’t your fault… I’ve been awake for a while.” Sofia sighs, moving a little as she tries to find a better posture. “Perhaps I should’ve taken a walk too…”

“Too many things in your mind?”

There’s a few seconds of silence, but after a while, her voice finally forms an answer to Lara’s question.

“Yeah… For too long.” Sofia admits, taking a moment to give another thought to that statement. “Though I think some things will get better now that you’re here.”

“Anything in particular you want to talk about?” Sensing her hesitation Lara decides to step forward. “I can act surprised when you tell me about Levi, if you want to.”

Sofia manages to limit her chuckles to a subtle laughter, a bit surprised that her friend realized her feelings so quickly, needing only one day to understand her situation.

“Aren’t you quick witted.”

“Perks of solving so many puzzles, I guess.” Lara laughs a bit too, happy to see her friends' reactions but understanding way too well why she doesn’t want to talk about it yet. “If you ever need to…”

“I will, don’t worry”. She replies right away, moved by the offering. “And thank you, not only for this, but everything.”

“I thought we agreed four years ago that you’d stop thanking me about what happened…”

“I meant about my father…” 

Before the panic takes over Lara’s body, her friend finishes her sentence, quickly sending a sense of relief though all her body. 

“He hasn’t been the same for way too long and… Well…”

Sofia takes a second, recalling images of Jacob throughout the entire day, almost unrecognizable to the men he’s been since the Divine Source was destroyed.

“For a while now, he almost felt like broken, lost...” Lara’s eyes water a bit, but she is able to control most of her emotions, remaining silent as Sofia finishes her sentence. “But I think your presence does him good.”

“Really?” She manages to ask with a thin voice.

“Yeah…”

“Then I’m glad I’m back.” Her words choke a little on her throat but the emotions are filtered by the whispers and, what would be noticeable in any other contest, is rendered imperceptible.

“Still don’t know for how long?”

“No, there’s no plans…” She smiles, moving her hand slowly to clean a silent tear as it starts streaming down her face. “Just many things to figure out.”

“Well, you can do that here, and stay as much as you like, take your time.”

“I like that.” 

Her mind gets flooded by Jacob’s words as she smiles, picturing their constellation on the ceiling one last time before her eyes succumb to the tiredness. 

“Yes… Yes.” Lara smiles one last time before the darkness surrounds her to guide her into her dreams.“I'm… I’m…” 

She starts to sink into the deep, only one more sentence is said, escaping her mouth almost as a murmur.

“I’m just gonna take my time.”

-----------------------------------------

So... Here we are!!! Let me apollogize one more time, I should've written this one a month ago, but thanks to Tumblr I discovered Game Changer and, in a day, I had already developed a quite healthy obsession with Brennan Lee Mulligan (That still lasts to this day lol, just finished watching MaM), so yeah... Spent most of my free time watching dropout shows (upssss~~) Anyways, glad to be back, and... Idk, let me know if you're liking the fic, i guess XDDDDD

[axvoter]

Blatantly Partisan Party Reviews: 2022 Victorian State Edition

Victoria goes to the polls on 26 November and there is a record number of candidates for both houses of the state parliament, so here I am to review the assortment of micro-parties crowding the ballot.

I reviewed the 2014 and 2018 state elections, and although I no longer live in Victoria, I think of Melbourne as home and some of this year’s micros are truly cooked, so I could not resist firing up the blog.

There is another reason I am keen to write these reviews. Victoria still uses anti-democratic Group Ticket Voting (GTV) above the line for the Legislative Council (upper house). To ensure your preferences go where you want them to go, you must vote below the line.

What is Group Ticket Voting? It is where a party registers its list of preferences—their “group ticket”. If you vote above the line on the big Legislative Council ballot, your preferences are distributed as per the group ticket of the party for which you voted 1. Unlike when voting for the Senate, any other preferences you mark above the line will be ignored.

This does not, and cannot, represent the will of voters. GTV means that 100% of preferences flow in the same direction; in reality, when people distribute their own preferences, even the most disciplined and organised campaign struggles to get more than 80% of voters for one party to nominate the same second preference, never mind third or subsequent preferences. GTV turns each election for the upper house into a lottery, and it doesn’t confer much long-term benefit upon the micro-parties that it elects either because, even if they gain supporters during their term, they find it very difficult to draw a winning ticket two elections in a row.

Moreover, few parties submit GTVs that are based on ideology alone and can be assumed to reflect the typical preferences of their voters. Most parties do deals with each other for favourable preferences. A party that arranges especially good deals can snag preferences from voters across the spectrum—almost all of whom do not know their preference is going there, nor would approve of it. This allows a party to snowball their way past rivals with much greater support to win a seat. A party with, say, 9% of the vote in one region can miss out on a seat to a party with only 2% because that latter party harvested preferences effectively. If you want to read more about this abysmal system, Antony Green and Ben Raue have both gone into detail. Victoria's GTVs were released yesterday, and Ben has written a piece today explaining the general trends that emerge from them.

At federal level, and in every other state, GTV has been abolished and better systems implemented that give voters control over their preferences. Every federal election since 2016 has been run under a system where voters specify their own preferences above the line. Western Australia ran the most recent state election with GTVs: last year, the Daylight Saving Party won a Legislative Council seat for Mining & Pastoral despite polling a grand total of 98 primary votes in that region. This absurdity prompted WA to abolish the system. Victoria’s parliament, however, has clung to GTV despite having plenty of opportunity for reform. This failure should shame the parliament and its politicians—and Kevin Bonham is doing his best to do so in his summary of party policies about GTV.

There is a simple way to avoid your preferences going on a magical mystery tour and potentially electing parties you dislike: VOTE BELOW THE LINE. This is extremely easy: you just need to give at least 5 preferences to individuals below the line. Any vote with fewer preferences below the line is not counted; you must preference at least 1–5. You can then give as many more preferences as you want. If you only want to give 5, give 5. If you want to preference everybody, preference everybody. It is entirely up to you and your vote will only go to the individuals to whom you allocate preferences, in the order you allocated them. Do not repeat or skip a number. If you stop preferencing at any point after 5, your vote exhausts at that point and plays no further part in the election. I encourage you to preference as far as possible because it maximises the power of your vote.

Group Ticket Voting only applies for the Legislative Council (the upper house, which is the house of review) on its big ballot with the thick line. There is no Group Ticket Voting for the Legislative Assembly (the lower house, where government is formed), and when voting for the Assembly you must number all squares without repeating or skipping a number.

My first reviews will be posted later today. They reflect my own biases as a green democratic socialist. I am not, nor have I ever been, a member of any political party. As per usual, I will not review Labor, the Liberal/National coalition, or the Greens, because the sort of person interested in these reviews likely already has established opinions about those parties. I don’t review One Nation federally but I might tack them on at the end this year if I have the time. I am aiming to review every other party. Let’s go!

Every review will end with my recommendation of how favourably to preference a party. This is the recommendation system I will be using:

Good preference: a party with a positive overall platform that has few or no significant flaws for the left-wing voter.

Decent preference: a party with a generally positive overall platform but some reservations; or, a single-issue party with a good objective but by definition too limited in their scope to encompass the fullness of parliamentary business.

Middling preference: a party with a balance of positive and negative qualities, or a party with a decent platform undermined by a notably terrible policy or characteristic.

Weak or no preference: a party with more negatives than positives. In the Legislative Assembly, you must number all squares, and these parties should receive as bad a preference as possible. In the Legislative Council, you should vote below the line and either give this party a poor preference or let your vote exhaust before reaching it. I recommend preferencing fully, but you may wish to stop rather than express preferences between varying gradations of undesirability.

This schema is flexible; I may, for instance, suggest a “middling to decent preference”.

[watchmegetobsessed]

OLD GRUDGES (part 3)

A/N: i know it took me way longer than it should have, but at last im here with the next part and that's what matters, right? thank you for the support on the prev parts, hope you'll enjoy this just as much!

WORD COUNT: 4.3k

WARNING: sexual content

SUMMARY: Harry and Y/N go way back. Working together was like a dream when 1D was still going strong. Now, years later, when they end up working together again, things are very different. Mostly because Y/N seems to be hating Harry passionately. But he has not idea why.

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST

Meetings never really excited Harry, but lately, they have been his favorite along with studio sessions. Because these were the times he always got to see Y/N. 

Today he is going in with her favorite cookies in his bag that he picked up on his way, taking a detour just to drop by that one place she loves the most. It’s been a recurring thing for Harry, picking up a cup of coffee for her, buying her favorite snacks for their sessions or surprising her with lunch from that taco place she adores so much. He’s been doing practically anything to get a smile on her face because he feels like that’s the only thing he is destined to do. 

He’s been ignoring the fact that her time working on the project ends in two weeks, according to the contract. The only chance to stretch it longer if the required songs are not finished, but they are all practically done at this point. Harry tries his best not to think of what it will be like when he doesn’t get to see her as often as he does now. 

The meeting was scheduled only yesterday, so Harry has no idea what it is about, but it doesn’t really matter, they are supposed to record afterwards, so he only cares about spending more time with Y/N. 

However, the smile fades when he walks into the room and doesn’t see her. It’s odd, she is usually there before him, but now it’s just a couple of the studio engineers, Niall, Liam and Blake, the kind of weird manager from Modest who’s been working with them since they started recording for Midnight Memories. Harry has been getting these eerie vibes from him, but he just can’t put his finger on it, so he’s been sucking it up and ignoring it. He gave no reason not to be trusted so far. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Harry greets everyone walking into the room. 

“Ah, Harry! You’re here!” Blake smiles and they shake hands before Harry settles in a chair. “I was just telling the boys what this meeting is about. Good news, you are set for another album after Midnight Memories is released!”

It’s no surprise, to be honest. One album after the other, the pace has been just like that for a while. 

“Great,” he nods. “Do we know who we’re gonna work with?”

Blake then hands him a paper with a list of names and some other details. Harry runs over the names, looking for a particular one, but it’s not there.

“What about Y/N?” he asks.

“Ah, I wanted to tell you guys. She got another project kind of last minute, so she is done with the album for now and won’t be able to join for the next one, it seems like,” Blake explains casually and it doesn’t stand out to anyone else either, but it hits Harry in the chest pretty hard.

She is done with the album? Why didn’t she say anything? They talked on the phone just two days ago, why didn’t she even mention it?

And why isn’t she gonna work on the next album? Harry doubts she is booked that far ahead, she is just getting recognized in the industry and she told him herself she is living from one project to the other, works on the next album won’t start at least until they start touring Midnight Memories.

It’s not adding up, but on the other hand… Harry has no right to question her. Even despite how close he’s been getting to her, they are still just… coworkers. Friends. 

But nothing more. 

“Alright, now that we are talking about the next album, I have a little sneak peek of a song that could be a big hit!” Blake seems enthusiastic as he opens his laptop and then soon a demo starts playing, but Harry can’t really focus, he is too stuck on the fact that he has no more time left with Y/N. He even pulls out his phone, ready to text her and ask her how all of this happened, but then talks himself down. When he finally starts to listen to the song, it sounds familiar at first, but there are no lyrics and Harry often finds random songs familiar lately, because he just hears so many new melodies on a daily basis, they tend to blend together. 

“You like it?” Blake asks him and Harry just nods.

“Yeah. What is it called?”

Blake smiles confidently as he shuts the laptop down.

“Night Changes.”

The weather is finally good enough for grilling and the rowland household would take an opportunity anytime for that. Filling up their backyard with the people they love the most and feeding them burgers, hotdogs or basically anything Mitch is able to throw onto the grill. They usually have a gathering like this every month if their schedule and the weather allows. 

Now it’s finally the first official grill party of the year. 

Harry is sat outside by one of the tables, his plate is empty by now, but he knows he’ll get another round at one point. Cards are scattered on the tabletop, along with glasses of lemonade and beer, the kids are playing in the back somewhere by the treehouse, everything feels and looks idyllic.

For the past about two hours Harry couldn’t stop looking for Y/N. Stealing glances when she was talking to Sarah or playing with the kids, trying not to ogle her too obviously when she was laughing at something at the other table. He wanted to walk up to her a thousand times already, but he is trying to act cool and figure out how to act when there are other people around. 

It’s an unknown territory for sure. 

When Harry sees her walking towards the house he just can’t stay put. Excusing himself from the group he tries his best not to look suspicious as he follows her inside. Once the sliding door is closed behind him he quickens his steps down the hallway towards the bathroom, guessing she went there, but as he is approaching the door he notices it’s closed.

Should he try his luck and open it? Or maybe knock? Or…

Suddenly, the lock rattles and the door moves the tiniest bit, light coming through the gap. His heart skips a beat as he leaps forward and pushes the door open more so he can step inside.

And there she is, standing by the sink, checking herself out in the mirror when Harry walks in and closes the door behind him. Then slowly, she turns her gaze to him, for the first time today and for a moment Harry thinks she might tell him to fuck off and get out, but when he sees her lips part, he knows what she wants.

Him.

They collide fast, their usual hunger for each other taking over in a heartbeat. Demanding kisses, rough touches, they both know they should be in a hurry, Harry can’t even remember if he locked the door, it would be rather awkward if someone walked in on them.

Especially because no one knows about them, or whatever is going on between them. 

It’s been over a week since the dinner party that ended up with the most confusing but also mind-blowingly amazing sex they have ever had. When it was over Harry simply left and kept to what she said, that they would not talk about it and that’s exactly what happened. They never talked about it, but it happened again. 

Twice since then. 

And now they are going at it again. 

“Fuck,” Harry growls into her mouth when she reaches into his pants with quick but confident moves, because it’s not the first time she is doing it and he can only hope it’s not the last either. 

“Quickly,” she pants and he just nods, bunching up her dress and tugging her underwear down. It’s no surprise he is already hard, following her inside was like a foreplay to him, the secrecy, the chance that she might tell him to fuck off, his pulse has been rising before he stepped into the bathroom. 

They moan together when he thrusts into her, but then he gets back to kissing her to keep their voice down as he starts moving. Usually, they don’t talk when they are having sex, but Harry feels like changing that up, trying out how she reacts to something different. 

“You knew I would come after you, huh?” he pants against her lips.

“I did,” she breathes out, one arm curled around his neck, her other hand gripping the edge of the sink to keep her balance. 

“You thought about me fucking you all day?”

To that, she doesn’t answer and Harry almost regrets opening his mouth, but then she looks at him and nods.

“I did,” she repeats herself and even cracks a smile before pulling him closer to kiss him hard. And just like that, a tightening but warm feeling spreads in his chest. 

They don’t need much time, Harry is the first to come and she follows soon right after. Her head falls against his chest , rising and falling with his deep breaths and he tries to fight the urge, but then gives in and bringing up a hand he runs his fingers through her hair. Part of him fears this move might be too intimate for her and that she’ll shake him off of her any moment, but it never happens and Harry enjoys it, probably way more than he should. 

They clean themselves up and soon it’s just the sparkle in their eyes that proves what they just did. 

“What are you doing tomorrow?” she asks, fixing her makeup in the mirror. 

“Are you asking me out or something?” Harry cheekily asks and she just smacks his chest playfully.

“I have some stuff I’ve been working on that I want to show you.”

Harry’s pulse fastens again. This is just like it was before, when it was just the two of them, sharing the songs they were working on. 

“I would love that,” he smiles at her, watching her walk to the door. 

“Alright. I’ll text you then.”

Y/N walks out and Harry knows they are back to not talking and for a second he wonders how long he’ll be able to keep going like this. 

When he walks out he is still deep in his thoughts, but then when he reaches the kitchen he comes to a halt, seeing Mitch by the kitchen island, sipping on some lemonade, a knowing look on his face.

“Hey man,” Harry clears his throat and joins him instead of walking outside.

“Hey. Everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Want to share why I just saw Y/N coming from the same direction as you just did?”

“Uh… you know, we just…”

Harry can’t quite find the right words, especially because he doesn’t like and can’t really lie to Mitch, but he also wants to keep the no talking rule. Mitch stares back at him with a blank face for a second, but then his eyes go wide.

“No way.”

“What?” Harry laughs.

“For real?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You and… you and Y/N?”

Harry doesn’t answer, but that’s quite the answer to Mitch.

“Oh my God, how long has this been going on?”

“Keep it down!” He hushes his friend. “It’s… it’s nothing official or anything.”

“But it is something, right? What is it?”

Harry once again just stays silent.

“You two are having sex?” More silence. “Oh my God! Did you just do it in the bathroom?!”

“Shh!” Harry tries to shush him again, but he also can’t hold back his smile, thinking about what just took place in that bathroom. 

“Harry, what the hell! When… How did that happen? You know what? I don’t want to know about that,” Mitch changes his mind quickly, making Harry laugh. “But like… what is it?”

“I told you, it’s nothing o–”

“No, I mean… what do you want it to be?”

Harry sighs as he turns so he can look out at the backyard through the sliding door. And there she is, with a glass in her hand as she is talking to Sarah, laughing at something and Harry wishes he knew what it was. 

“I just… I like her. A lot.”

“But you two had been hating each other passionately, what happened to that?”

“I think we took the passionately part and turned it into something else,” Harry smirks cheekily, his eyes still glued to her figure outside. 

“Oh my God, you are so gone for her,” Mitch breathes out, shaking his head. “You’re falling for her!”

Harry turns back to Mitch and hesitates before speaking up.

“I already fell for her. When we worked together years ago. But then she basically disappeared and when we met again, she acted like I was her mortal enemy,” Harry chuckles. Calling himself the enemy sounds ridiculous, but it’s the most fitting he could say. “And now…” he hums, but doesn’t finish his thought out loud.

“And now you’re falling for her again?”

“I might be,” he nods.

The Sun has set, but the party's still going. Well, it’s not raging, some of the people who came with kids have left and Scout has been put down by Mitch as well, but a handful of guests are still out on the terrace, playing card games and sharing stories. 

Y/N sits right across from Harry and he has noticed the change. She is losing her cold act towards him, slowly but surely. They can finally talk and joke around almost like back in the days. Harry however doesn’t want to let himself go deeper than he should, he knows he is on an unstable field with her and he feels like it all could snap any moment, but…

It feels so amazing.

Making her laugh, sharing knowing looks, teasing each other like old friends, Harry missed being like this. 

When he notices that she’s probably cold his first thought is to offer his hoodie, but he is quick to stop himself, he’s sure it might be too much at once so he instead just asks around who needs a blanket as he is heading inside anyway so he can easily grab a few. 

But then as the night comes to an end, he still decides to try and dance around the unsaid boundaries.

“Hey, I just ordered a car, added your address as well.” Harry tells her when he sees her open the Uber app on her phone.

“Ah, no need, I can just–”

“Already ordered it,” he insists, hoping she’ll accept it and luckily, it seems like she is not in the mood to argue. 

The car ride is quiet, but not the uncomfortable kind. She is on her phone, reading what seems like emails to Harry and he notices the change in her instantly.

“Everything alright?”

She looks up with a frown and then sighs, locking her phone. 

“Just work. I have this annoying assistant, called Daryl up in my ass on another project, he is trying to get me to give way more than I’m obligated to. I don’t even know who his boss is, the damn guy is like a mystery for some reason.”

“Like, they want more music from you?”

“Yes,” she nods. “They want to listen to stuff I’m working on in case something fits the album, but I’ve already delivered what I was paid for.”

Although he is eager to know more, to offer his help, he stays silent, staying within the boundaries this time, not pushing his luck even more. It’s a miracle itself that she even said this much about anything personal. 

“So tomorrow?” Y/N asks when the car stops in front of her house. Harry looks at her and for a moment, all he can think about is the last time they were here like this. 

“Yeah, I’m free,” he manages to speak up, snapping out of his memories.

“I’ll text you. Bye then,” she nods before climbing out of the car and heading towards her front door. Harry watches her for a bit before he tells the driver to leave. 

She still hasn’t texted him. It’s four in the afternoon and he hasn’t heard of her since she got dropped off last night. 

He was up early, went for a run, because he definitely needed to put his extra energy into something instead of continuously checking his phone, hoping for a text to pop up. Then he grabbed himself a bagel on the way back, brewed a coffee when he got home and had his breakfast while staring at his phone like a sore loser. 

He took that damn phone everywhere he went. Literally everywhere. But the hours passed by and he got no sign and at first he just thought she got busy with something, but by the time he was done with lunch, it turned into a worry. 

She was as punctual as one could get and she would have already texted him by now, even if it was just about that she is running late with whatever she was doing. A decent session lasts at least three or four hours and she is not one to pull an allnighter.

He has kept ordering himself to be patient all day, but now he lost the last bits of his bearing. At last he decides a text is fine, she can answer whenever it’s convenient. 

HARRY: Hey, are we still up for a sesh? 

He keeps the conversation open and watches his message sit there, its status staying delivered for what feels like forever. Then, about twenty minutes later, it changes to read and the three dots start dancing at the bottom of the screen as Harry’s heart threatens to jump right out of his chest. He knows he is acting ridiculously, but he pushes the thought to the back of his head for now. 

The dots then disappear, but no message arrives. A minute goes by and they reappear and this time a gray bubble follows.

Y/N: I got a bit of a situation on my hands rn.

Then a photo pops up of her house with two police cars parked at the front and Harry’s stomach drops.

HARRY: I’m going over.

He sends the message before he could even think it through and he is already out the door by the time she reads his reply. 

When he arrives one of the police cars is still there and Y/N is out front, talking to an officer. She is lacking her usual on-spot style, wearing a baggy sweat set, her hair in a state of mess he has never seen before, but even despite the worried expression on her face, she looks annoyingly beautiful. 

She spots him as he gets out of his car, crossing the lawn with a slow jog.

“Hey, what’s going on?” he asks, on the verge of losing his marbles if he doesn’t find out what happened immediately.

“Give me a minute,” she tells him, turning back to the officer. “Thank you for everything. I’ll let you know if I find anything that’s missing.”

“Take care, Miss. We’ll have a car patrol around the neighborhood every hour for the next 24 hours, though it’s unlikely they will come back.”

With a nod, the officer walks over to the car, gets in and they drive away.

“What the hell happened?” Harry asks when Y/N finally turns to him.

“Someone broke into my house,” she says and then just simply heads back inside. Harry jogs after her. 

“What? When?” 

Y/N is walking straight to her kitchen and Harry follows her, locking the front door behind him. 

“I went to a yoga class in the morning. When I came back, I noticed my lock was picked and the door was open.” 

Harry watches her rummage through a cabinet before grabbing a bottle of tequila along with two glasses. She shoots a questioning look to him, to which he just nods, though he is still lost, confused and kind of angry. She pours a generous amount into both glasses and then hands one over to Harry before chugging hers down faster than ever. 

“Did anything go missing?”

“Literally nothing,” she laughs bitterly. “Everything seems untouched and I just don’t understand it at all. Why would someone break in if they don’t take anything valuable?”

“Money? Jewelry? Everything is here?”

“Everything. I checked everything.”

Harry is now just as clueless as Y/N. It doesn’t make any sense, but it’s also somehow even worse. Whoever broke in had a reason to, but it’s completely hidden for now. 

When she reaches for the bottle again he notices how much her hands are shaking. She is a nervous wreck. 

“Hey, you don’t want to lose your rationality right now,” Harry softly warns her as he grabs her hand and stops her from pouring another one. 

“I’m fucking terrified, Harry,” she admits, her voice shakes and so weak like never before. Harry’s heart breaks for her. “Have you ever felt unsafe in your own home?”

“I have,” Harry answers without hesitation and that’s when she finally looks him in the eyes again. “I had a few stalkers throughout the years and attempted break-ins.”

And just like that, something changes in her. The last bits of the wall she so carefully built up between the two of them are destroyed and she lets him see her fully and so naked emotionally. Her lips tremble, tears dwell in her eyes and just as the first sob breaks out of her chest, he is pulling her into his embrace. 

For a second Harry thinks it might be just luck, that she is only opening up to him like this because he is the one who is physically here with her, but he then wipes this thought and just focuses on being the support she truly needs. 

He holds her tight as she cries into his chest, pressing kisses to the top of her head until she calms down and regains control over her breathing. 

“Pack a bag for a few days, stay at mine for a bit, okay?” he softly says when she finally pulls back, just enough to look at him. She doesn’t try to put up a fight, just nods and lets him walk her up to her bedroom. 

He helps her pack, she grabs the clothes while Harry packs her laptop and chargers. Half an hour later they are getting into his car before heading over to Harry’s place. The car ride is silent and Harry doesn’t even try to talk her through it. He knows how important it is to let her find her own peace in this situation instead of trying to just temporarily divert her attention. 

It’s actually her first time at his place, so she is curiously examining the place when they finally arrive. Harry shows her around quickly and then they reach the bedrooms upstairs.

“Choose a bedroom, personally my favorite is that one,” he smiles softly, pointing at the one next to his own bedroom. She walks closer and peeks inside, then into his bedroom and he watches her patiently.

“Can I… sleep with you?”

Her request surprises him, but he would be lying if he said a part of him wasn’t hoping for it. 

“Sure, of course,” he nods and gestures for her to walk inside. 

He sets down her bag to the ottoman at the end of his king sized bed while she looks around. Harry grabs a towel for her from the closet and hands it over to her.

“Take a shower, I’ll make tea for you, how does that sound?”

She just nods, holding the towel to her chest and he can’t believe how vulnerable she looks. The Y/N he’s known for the past few months is nothing like the woman standing in front of him right now. 

“Alright, then I’ll…” 

He clears his throat and then turns around to give her privacy, but he doesn’t even get to take a step before she grabs his hand and pulls him back. He opens his mouth to ask what else she needs, but he is met with her lips pressing against his, hard and needy and he wastes no time to return the kiss just as passionately. His arms curl around her tightly, like an armor, ready to protect her from anything and everything. 

They stumble into the bathroom and she pulls away, just enough so that she can start stripping out of her clothes, but Harry stops for a minute before things get too heated too fast.

“Wait, are you… Today was a lot, are you sure you… want to…?”

“I’m sure. I need this,” she nods and even though she appears just as vulnerable as before, there’s some kind of strong will mixed in her state now. Harry stares back at her, looking for any kind of sign that this might be a bad idea, but then she adds: “I need you.”

And Harry knows in that moment that he would give her anything in this world, because he fell for her again, but this time, it’s nothing like he has ever felt before.

NEXT PART

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[eiirisworkshop]

The Fanfic Author's Guide to Metatext

(As Used on Ao3) by Eiiri

Also available as a PDF here. This thing is 13,000 words.  The PDF is recommended.

Intro: What is Metatext?

Metatext is everything we fanfic authors post along with our story that is not the story itself: title, tags, summary, author's notes, even the rating.

It is how we communicate to potential readers what they're signing themselves up for if they choose to read our story, how we let them make informed decisions regarding which fics they want to read, how we get their interest and, frequently, how they find our story in the first place. A lot of metatext acts as a consent mechanism for readers, it's the informed part of informed consent.

Since most of us who write fanfic also read it, we understand how important this is! But, for the most part, no one ever teaches us how to use metatext; we have to pick it up by osmosis. That makes it hard to learn how to use it well, we all suck at it when we first start out, and some of us may go years without learning particular conventions that seem obvious to others in our community. This creates frustration for everybody.

Enter this guide!

This is meant to be a sort of handbook for fic writers, particularly those of us who post on Archive of Our Own, laying out and explaining the established metatext conventions already in use in our community so we (and our readers!) are all on the same page. It will also provide some best-practices tips.

The point is to give all of us the tools to communicate with our audience as clearly and effectively as possible, so the people who want to read a story like ours can find it and recognize it as what they're looking for, those who don't want to read a story like ours can easily tell it's not their cup of tea and avoid it, nobody gets hurt, and everybody has fun—including us!

Now that we know what we're talking about, let's get on with the guide! The following content sections appear in the order one is expected to provide each kind of metatext when posting a fic on Ao3, but first….

Warning!

This is a guide for all authors on Ao3. As such, it mentions subject matter and kinds of fic that you personally might hate or find disgusting, but which are allowed under the Archive's terms of use. There are no graphic descriptions or harsh language in the guide itself, but it does acknowledge the existence of fic you may find distasteful and explains how to approach metatext for such fics.

Some sexual terminology is used in an academic context.

A note from the author:

This guide reflects the conventions of the English-language fanfiction community circa 2021. Conventions may differ in other language communities, and although many of our conventions have been in place for decades (praise be to our Star Trek loving foremothers) fanfiction now exists primarily in the realm of internet fandom where things tend to change rather quickly, so some conventions in this guide may die out while other new conventions, not covered in this guide, arise.

This is not official or in any way produced by the Archive of Our Own (Ao3), and though some actual site rules are mentioned, it is not a rulebook. Primarily, it is a descriptivist take on how the userbase uses metatext to communicate amongst ourselves, provided in the interest of making that communication easier and more transparent for everyone, especially newer users.

Contents

How To Use This Guide Ratings Archive Warnings Fandom Tags Category Relationship Tags Character Tags Additional Tags Titles Summaries Author's Notes Series and Chapters Parting Thoughts

How To Use This Guide

Well, read it.  Or have it read to you.

This isn't a glossary, it's a handbook, and it's structured more like an academic paper or report, but there's lots and lots of examples in it!

Many of these examples are titles of real media and the names of characters from published media, or tags quoted directly from Ao3 complete with punctuation and formatting.

Some examples are more generic and use the names Alex, Max, Sam, Chris, Jamie, and Tori for demonstration purposes. In other generic examples, part of an example tag or phrase may be sectioned off with square brackets to show where in that tag or phrase you would put the appropriate information to complete it.  This will look something like “Top [Character A]” where you would fill in a character's name.

This guide presumes that you know the basics of how to use Ao3, at least from the perspective of reading fic. If you don't, much of this guide may be difficult to understand and will be much less helpful to you, though not entirely useless.

Ratings

Most fanfic hosting sites provide ratings systems that work a lot like the ratings on movies and videogames.

Ao3's system has four ratings:

General

Teen

Mature

Explicit

These seem like they should be pretty self-explanatory, and the site's own official info pop-up (accessible by clicking the question mark next to the section prompt) gives brief, straightforward descriptions for each of them.

Even so, many writers have found ourselves staring at that dropdown list, thinking about what we've written, and wondering what's the right freaking rating for this?  How do I know if it's appropriate for “general audiences” or if it needs to be teen and up? What's the difference between Mature and Explicit?

The best way to figure it out is often to think about your fic in comparison to mainstream media.

General is your average Disney or Dreamworks movie, Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon shows, video games like Mario, Kirby, and Pokemon.

There may be romance, but no sexual content or discussion. Scary things might happen and people might get hurt, but violence is non-graphic and usually mild. Adults may be shown drinking alcohol or smoking tobacco, and some degree of intoxication may be shown (usually played for laughs and not focused on), but hard drug use is generally not shown or discussed.  There is little to no foul language written out and what language there may be is mild, though harsher swears may be implied by narration. There are no explicit F-bombs or slurs.

Teen is more like a Marvel movie, most network television shows (things like The Office, Supernatural, or Grey's Anatomy), video games like Final Fantasy, Five Nights at Freddie's, and The Sims.

There might be some sex and sexual discussion, but nothing explicit is shown—things usually fade to black or are leftimplied. More intense danger, more severe injuries described in greater detail, and a higher level of violence may be present.  Substance use may be discussed and intoxication shown, but main characters are unlikely to be shown doing hard drugs. Some swearing and other harsh language may be present, possibly including an F-bomb or two.  In longer works, that might mean an F-bomb every few chapters.

Mature is, in American terms, an R-rated movie* like Deadpool, Fifty Shades of Grey, The Exorcist, and Schindler's List; certain shows from premium cable networks or streaming services like Game of Thrones, Shameless, Breaking Bad, and Black Sails; videogames like Bioshock, Assassin's Creed, Grand Theft Auto, and The Witcher.

Sex may be shown and it might be fairly explicit, but it's not as detailed or graphic or as much the focus of the work as it would be if it were porn. Violence, danger, and bodily harm may be significant and fairly graphic. Most drug use is fair game. Swearing and harsh language may be extensive.

Explicit is, well, extremely explicit. This is full on porn, the hardcore horror movies, and snuff films.

Sex is highly detailed and graphic. Violence and injury is highly detailed and graphic. Drug use and its effects may be highly detailed and graphic. Swearing and harsh language may be extreme, including extensive use of violent slurs.

Please note that both Mature and Explicit fics are intended for adult audiences only, but that does not mean a teenaged writer isn't going to produce fics that should be rated M or E.  Ratings should reflect the content of the fic, not the age of the author.

Strictly speaking, you don't have to choose any of these ratings; Ao3 has a “Not Rated” option, but for purposes of search results and some other functions, Not Rated fics are treated by the site as Explicit, just in case, which means they end up hidden from a significant portion of potential readers. It really is in your best interest as a writer who presumably wants people to see their stories, to select a rating. It helps readers judge if yours is the kind of story they want right now, too.

Rating a fic is a subjective decision, there is some grey area in between each level. If you're not quite sure where your fic falls, best practice is to go with the more restrictive rating.

*(Equivalent to an Australian M15+ or R18+, Canadian 14A, 18A or 18+, UK 15 or 18, German FSK 16 or FSK 18.)

Warnings

Ao3 uses a set of standard site-wide Archive Warnings to indicate that a work contains subject matter that falls into one or more of a few categories that some readers are likely to want to avoid.  Even when posting elsewhere, it's courteous to include warnings of this sort.

These warnings are:

Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Major Character Death

Rape/Non-Con

Underage

Just like with the ratings, the site provides an info-pop up that explains what each warning is for. They're really exactly what it says on the tin: detailed descriptions of violence, injury, and gore; the death of a character central to canon or tothe story being told; non-consensual sex i.e. rape; and depictions of underage sex, which the site defines as under the age of 18 for humans—Ao3 doesn't care if your local age of consent or majority is lower than that.

In addition to the four standard warnings above, the warnings section has two other choices:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings

These do not mean the same thing and cannot be used interchangeably. “No Archive Warnings Apply” means that absolutely nothing in your fic falls into any of the four standard warning categories. “Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings” means that you the author are opting out of the warning system; your fic could potentially contain things that fall into any and all of the four standard warning categories.

There's nothing wrong with selecting Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings! It may mean that some readers will avoid your fic because they're not sure it's safe for them, and you might need to use more courtesy tags than you otherwise would (we'll talk about courtesy tags later), but that's okay! Opting out of the warning system can be a way to avoid spoilers,* and is also good for when you're just not sure if what you've written deserves one of the Archive warnings. In that case, the best practice is to select either the warning it might deserve or Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, then provide additional information in other tags, the summary, or an initial author's note.

Unless you're opting out of using the warning system, select all the warnings that apply to your fic, if any of them do. So if a sixteen year old main character has consensual sex then gets killed in an accident that you've written out in excruciating detail, that fic gets three out of the four standard warnings: Underage, Major Character Death, and Graphic Depictions Of Violence.

*(Fandom etiquette generally favors thorough tagging and warning over avoiding spoilers. It doesn't ruin the experience of a story to have a general sense of what's going to happen. If it did, we wouldn't all keep reading so many “there was only one bed” fics.)

Fandom Tags

What fandom or fandoms is your fic for?  You definitely know what you wrote it for, but that doesn't mean it's obvious what to tag it as.

Sometimes, it is obvious! You watched a movie that isn't based on anything, isn't part of a series, and doesn't have any spinoffs, tie-ins or anything else based on it. You wrote a fic set entirely within the world of this movie. You put this movie as the fandom for your fic. Or maybe you read a book and wrote a fic for it, and there is a movie based on the book, but the movie is really different and you definitely didn't use anything that's only in the movie. You put the book as the fandom for your fic.

All too often, though, it's not that clear.

What if you wrote a fic for something where there's a movie based on a book, but the movie's really different, and you've used both things that are only in the movie and things that are only in the book?  In that case you either tag your fic as both the movie and the book, or see if the fandom has an “all media types” tag and use that instead of the separate tags.  If the fandom doesn't have an “all media types” tag yet, you can make one! Just type it in.

“All media types” fandom tags are also useful for cases where there are lots of inter-related series, like Star Wars; there are several tellings of the story in different media but they're interchangeable or overlap significantly, like The Witcher; or the fandom has about a zillion different versions so it's very hard, even impossible, to say which ones your fic does and doesn't fit, like Batman. Use your best judgement as to whether you need to include a more specific fandom tag such as “Batman (Movies 1989-1997)” alongside the “all media types” fandom tag, but try to avoid including very many. The point of the “all media types” tag is to let you leave off the specific tags for every version.

In a situation where one piece of media has a spinoff, maybe several spinoffs, and you wrote a fic that includes things from more than one of them, you might want use the central work's “& related fandoms” tag. For example, the “Doctor Who & Related Fandoms” tag gets used for fics that include things from a combination of any era of Doctor Who, Torchwood, and The Sarah Jane Adventures.

And don't worry, from the reader-side of the site the broadest fandom tags are prioritized. The results page for an “all media types” or “& related fandoms” search includes works tagged with the more specific sub-tags for that fandom, the browse-by-fandom pages show the broadest tag for each fandom included, and putting a fandom into the search bar presumes the broadest tag for that fandom.  A search for “Star Wars - All Media Types” will pull up work that only has a subtag for that fandom, like “The Mandalorian (TV).” You don't have to put every specific fandom subtag for people to find your fic.

If you wrote a fic for something that's an adaptation of an older work—especially an older work that's been adapted a lot, like Sherlock Holmes or The Three Musketeers—it can be hard to know how you should tag it. The best choice is to put the adaptation as the fandom, for instance “Sherlock (TV),” then, if you're also using aspects of the older source work that aren't in the adaptation, also put a broad fandom tag such as “Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms.” Do not tag it as being fic for the source work—in our Sherlock example that would be tagging it “Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle”—unless you are crossing over the source work and the adaptation. Otherwise, the specific fandom subtag for the source work ends up clogged with fic for the adaptation, which really is a different thing.

By the same token, fic for the source work shouldn't be tagged as being for the adaptation, or the adaptation's subtag will get clogged.

The same principle applies to fandoms that have been rebooted. Don't tag fic for the reboot as being for the original, or fic for the original as being for the reboot. Don't tag a fic as being for both unless the reboot and original are actually interacting. Use an “& related fandoms” tag for the original if your fic for the reboot includes some aspects of the original that weren't carried over but you haven't quite written a crossover between the two. Good examples of these situations can be seen with “Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)” vs. “Star Trek: The Original Series,” and “She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)” vs. “She-Ra: Princess Of Power (1985).”

Usually, this kind of mistagging as a related fandom happens when someone writes a fic for something that is or has a reboot, spinoff, or adaptation, but they're only familiar with one of the related pieces of media, and they mistakenly presume the fandoms are the same or interchangeable because they just don't know the difference.  It's an honest mistake and it doesn't make you a bad or fake fan to not know, but it can be frustrating for readers who want fic for one thing and find the fandom tag full of fic for something else.

In order to avoid those kinds of issues, best practice is to assume fandoms are not interchangeable no matter how closely related they are, and to default to using a tag pair of the most-specific-possible sub-fandom tag + the broadest possible fandom tag when posting a fic you're not entirely sure about, for instance “Star Trek” and “Star Trek: Enterprise.”

The Marvel megafandom has its own particular tagging hell going on. Really digging into and trying to make sense of that entire situation would require its own guide, but we can go through some general tips.

There is a general “Marvel” fandom tag and tags for both “The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom” and “The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types.” Most of us who write Marvel fic are working with a cherry picked combination of canons from the MCU, various comics runs, both timelines of X-Men movies, and possibly several decades worth of cartoons. That's what these tags are for.

If your cherry picked Marvel fic is more X-Men than Avengers, go for the “X-Men - All Media Types” tag.

If you are primarily working with MCU canon, use the MCU specific tags rather than “all media types” and add specific tags for individual comics runs—like Earth 616 or the Fraction Hawkeye comics—if you know you're lifting particular details from the comics.  If you're just filling in gaps in MCU canon with things that are nebulously “from the comics” don't worry about tagging for that, it's accepted standard practice in the fandom at this point, use a broader tag along with your MCU-specific tag if you want to.

Same general idea for primarily movie-verse X-Men fics. Use the movie-specific tags.

If your fic mostly draws from the comics, use the comics tags. If you're focusing on an individual run, show, or movie series rather than an ensemble or large swath of the megafranchise, tag for that and leave off the broader fandom tags.

Try your best to minimize the number of fandom tags on your Marvel work. Ideally, you can get it down to two or three. Even paring it down as much as you can you might still end up with about five.  If you're in the double digits, take another look to see if all the fandom tags you've included are really necessary, or if some of them are redundant or only there to represent characters who are in the fic but that the fic doesn't focus on. Many readers tend to search Marvel fics by character or pairing tags, it's more important that you're thorough there. For the fandom tags it's more important that you're clear.

If you write real person fiction, you need to tag it as an RPF fandom. Fic about actors who are in a show together does not belong on the fandom tag for that show. There are separate RPF fandom tags for most shows and film franchises. Much like the adaptation/source and reboot/original situations discussed earlier, a fic should really only be tagged with both a franchise's RPF tag and its main tag if something happens like the actors—or director or writer!—falling into the fictional world or meeting their characters.

Of course, not all RPF is about actors. Most sports have RPF tags, there are RPF tags for politics from around the world and for various historical settings, the fandom tags for bands are generally presumed to be RPF tags, and there is a general Real Person Fiction tag.

In order to simplify things for readers, it's best practice to use the general Real Person Fiction tag in addition to your fandom-specific tag. You may even want to put “RPF” as a courtesy tag in the Additional Tags section, too. This is because Ao3 isn't currently set up to recognize RPF as the special flavor of fic that it is in the same way that the site recognizes crossovers as special, so it can be very difficult to either seek out or avoid RPF since it's scattered across hundreds of different fandom tags.

On the subject of crossovers—they can make fandom tagging even more daunting. Even for a crossover with lots of fandoms involved, though, you just have to follow the same guidelines as to tag a single-fandom work for each fandom in the crossover. The tricky part is figuring out if what you wrote is really a crossover, or just an AU informed by another fandom—we'll talk about that later.

There are some cases where it's really hard to figure out what fandom something belongs to, like if you wrote a fanfic of someone else's fanfic, theirs is an AU and yours is about their OC, not any of the characters from canon. What do you do?! Well, you do not tag it as being a fanfic for the same thing theirs was. Put the title of their fic (or name of their series) as the fandom for your fic, attributed to their Ao3 handle just like any other fandom is attributed to its author. Explain the situation in either the summary or the initial author's note. Also, ask the author's permission before posting something like this.

What if you wrote a story about your totally original D&D character? The fandom is still D&D, you want the “Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)” tag.

What if there's not a fandom tag on the Archive yet for what you wrote? Not a problem! You can type in a new one if you're the first person to post something for a particular fandom. Do make sure, though, that the fandom isn't just listed by a different name than you expect. Many works that aren't originally in English—including anime—are listed by their original language title or a direct translation first, and sometimes a franchise or series's official name might not be what you personally call it, for instance many people think of Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials series as The Golden Compass series, so it's best to double check.

What if you wrote an entirely new original story that's not based on anything?  Excellent job, that takes a lot of work, but that probably doesn't belong on Ao3!  The Archive is primarily meant as a repository for fannish content, but in a few particular circumstances things we'd consider Original Work may be appropriate content for the Archive as well. Double check the Archive's Terms of Service FAQ and gauge if what you wrote falls under the scope of what is allowed. If what you wrote really doesn't fit here, post it somewhere else or try to get it published if you feel like giving it a shot.

Category

What Ao3 means by category is “does this fic focus on sex or romance, and if so what combination of genders are involved in that sex or romance?”

The category options are:

F/F

F/M

Gen

M/M

Multi

Other

The F/F, F/M, and M/M categories are for stories focused on pairings of two women, a woman and a man, and two men, respectively.  These refer to sexual and/or romantic pairings.

The Other category is for stories focused on (sexual and/or romantic) pairings where one or both partners are not strictly male or female, such as nonbinary individuals, people from cultures with gender systems that don't match to the Western man-woman system, and nonhuman characters for whom biological sex works differently or is nonexistent, including aliens, robots, and inanimate objects or abstract concepts. There are some problems with treating nonbinary humans, eldritch tentacle monsters, sexless androids, and wayward container ships as all the same category, but it's the system we currently have to work with. Use Additional Tags to clarify the situation.

Multi is for stories in which several (sexual and/or romantic) relationships are focused on or which focus on relationships with multiple partners, including cases of polyamory, serial monogamy, strings of hookups with different people, and orgies.  A fic will also show as “Multi” if you, the author, have selected more than one category for the fic, even if none of those are the Multi category. Realistically, the Archive needs separate “Multiple Categories” and “Poly” options, but for now we have to work with this system in which the two are combined.  Use Additional Tags to clarify the situation.

Gen is for stories that do not contain or are not focused on sex or romance. Romance may be present in a gen fic but it's going to be in the background.  While rare, there is such a thing as a sexually explicit gen fic—solo masturbation which does not feature fantasizing about another character is explicit gen fic; a doctor character seeing a series of patients with sex-related medical needs following an orgy may qualify if the orgy is not shown and the doctor is being strictly professional—but such fic needs to be rated, otherwise tagged, and explained carefully in the summary and/or author's note.

Much like the warnings section, category is a “select all that apply” situation. Use your best judgement. For a fic about a polyamorous relationship among a group of women, it's entirely appropriate to tag it as both F/F and Multi.  A poly fic with a combination of men and women in the relationship could be shown as both M/M and F/M, Multi, or all three. A fic that focuses equally on one brother and his husband and the other brother and his wife should be tagged both M/M and F/M, and could be tagged as Multi but you might decided not to just to be clear that there's no polyamory going on. If you wrote a fic about two characters who are both men in canon, but you wrote one of them as nonbinary, you could tag it M/M, Other, or both depending on what you feel is representative and respectful.

When dealing with trans characters, whether they're trans in canon or you're writing them as such, the category selection should match the character's gender.  If there's a character who is a cis woman in canon, but who you're writing as a trans man, you categorize the fic based on his being a man. If there's a character who is a cis man in canon, but whom you're writing as a trans man, he is still a man and the fic should be categorized accordingly. When dealing with nonbinary characters the fic should really be classed as Other though, by convention, fics about characters who are not nonbinary in canon may be classed based on the character's canon gender as well or instead. When dealing with gender swapped characters—i.e. a canonically cis male superhero who you're writing as a cis woman—class the fic using the gender you wrote her with, not the gender he is in canon.

Most of the time, gen fics should not be categorized jointly with anything else because a fic should only be categorized based on the ships it focuses on, and a gen fic should not be focusing on a ship in the first place.*

*(One of the few circumstances in which it might make sense to class a fic as both gen and something else is when writing about Queerplatonic Relationships, but that is a judgement call and depends on the fic.)

Relationship Tags

The thing about relationship tagging that people most frequently misunderstand or just don't know is the difference between “Character A/Character B” and “Character A & Character B.”

Use a “/” for romantic or sexual relationships, such as spouses, people who are dating, hookups, and friends with benefits. Use “&” for platonic or familial relationships, such as friends, siblings, parents with their kids, coworkers, and deeply connected mortal enemies who are not tragically in love.

This is where we get the phrase “slash fic.” Originally, that meant any fic focused on a romantic paring, but since so much of the romantic fic being produced was about pairs of men, “slash fic” came to mean same-sex pairings, especially male same-sex pairings. Back in earlier days of fandom, pre-Ao3 and even pre-internet, there was a convention that when writing out a different-sex pairing, you did so in man/woman order, while same-sex pairings were done top/bottom. Some authors, especially those who have been in the fic community a long time, may still do this, but the convention has not been in consistent, active use for many years, so you don't have to worry about putting the names in the “correct” order. Part of why that died out is we, as a community, have gotten less strict and more nuanced in our understandings of sex and relationships, we're writing non-penetrative sex more than we used to, and we're writing multi-partner relationships and sex more than we used to, so strictly delineating “tops” and “bottoms” has gotten less important and less useful.

The convention currently in use on Ao3 is that the names go in alphabetical order for both “/” and “&” relationships. In most cases, the Archive uses the character's full name instead of a nickname or just a given name, like James "Bucky" Barnes instead of just Bucky or James. We'll talk more about conventions for how to input character names in the Characters section. The Archive will give you suggestions as you type—if one of them fits what you mean but is slightly different from how you were typing it, for instance it's in a different order, please use the tag suggested! Consistency in tags across users helps the site work more smoothly for everybody.

This is really not the place for ship nicknames like Puckleberry, Wolfstar, or Ineffable Wives. Use the characters' names.

Now that you know how to format the relationship tag to say what you mean, you have to figure out what relationships in your fic to tag for.

The answer is you tag the relationships that are important to the story you're telling, the ones you spend time and attention following, building up, and maybe even breaking down. Tagging for a ship is not a promise of a happy ending for that pair; you don't have to limit yourself to tagging only the end-game ships if you're telling a story that's more complicated than “they get together and live happily ever after.” That said, you should generally list the main ship—the one you focus on the most—first on the list, and that will usually be the end-game ship. You should also use Additional Tags, the summary, and author's notes to make it clear to readers if your fic does not end happily for a ship you've tagged. Otherwise readers will assume that a fic tagged as being about a ship will end well for that ship, because that's what usually happens, and they'll end up disappointed and hurt, possibly feeling tricked or lied to, when your fic doesn't end well for that ship

You don't have to, and honestly shouldn't, tag for every single relationship that shows up in your fic at all. A character's brief side fling mentioned in passing, or a relationship between two background characters should not be listed under the Relationship tag section. You can list them in the format “minor Character A/Character C” or “Character C/Character D – mentions of” in the Additional Tags section if you want to, or just tag “Minor or Background Relationship(s)” under either the Relationship tag section or in the Additional Tags section.

There are two main reasons to not tag all those minor relationships. The first is to streamline your tags, which makes them clearer and more readable, and therefore more useful. The second reason is because certain ships are far more common as minor or background relationships than as the focus of a work, so tagging all your non-focus focus ships leads to the tags for these less popular ships getting clogged with stories they appear in, but that are not about them. That is, of course, very frustrating for readers who really want to read stories that focus on these ships.

If your fic contains a major relationship between a canon character and an OC, reader-insert, or self-insert, tag it as such. The archive already has /Original Character, /Reader, /You, and /Me tags for most characters in most fandoms. If such a relationship tag isn't already in use, type it in yourself. There are OC/OC tags, too, some of which specify gender, some of which do not.  All the relationship tags that include OCs stack the gender-specific versions of the tags under the nongendered ones. Use these tags as appropriate.

For group relationships, both polycules and multi-person friendships, you “/” or “&” all the names involved in alphabetical order, so Alex/Max/Sam are dating while Chris & Jamie & Tori are best friends. For a poly situation where not everyone is dating each other you should tag it something like “Alex/Max, Alex/Sam” because Alex is dating both Max and Sam, but Max and Sam are not romantically or sexually involved with each other. Use your judgement as to whether you still want to include the Alex/Max/Sam trio tag, and whether you should also use a “Sam & Max” friendship tag.

Generally, romantic “/” type relationships are emphasized over “&” type relationships in fic. It is more important that you tag your “/”s thoroughly and accurately than that you tag your “&”s at all. This is because readers are far more likely to either be looking for or be squicked by particular “/” relationships than they are “&” relationships. You can tag the same pair of characters as both / and & if both their romance and their friendship is important to the story, but a lot of people see this as redundant. If you're writing incest fic, use the / tag for the pair not the & tag and put a courtesy tag for “incest” in the Additional Tags section; this is how readers who do not want to see incestuous relationships avoid that material.

Queerplatonic Relationships, Ambiguous Relationships, Pre-Slash, and “Slash If You Squint” are all frequently listed with both the “/” and “&” forms of the pairing; use your best judgement as to whether one or the other or both is most appropriate for what you've written and clarify the nature of the relationship in your Additional Tags.

Overall, list your “/” tags first, then your “&” tags.

Character Tags

Tagging your characters is a lot like tagging your relationships. Who is your fic about? That's who you put in your character tags.

You don't have to and really should not tag every single background character who shows up for just a moment in the story, for pretty much the same reasons you shouldn't tag background relationships.  We don't want to clog less commonly focused on characters' tags with stories they don't feature prominently in.

You do need to tag the characters included in your Relationship tags.

A character study type of fic might only have one character you need to tag for. Romantic one shots frequently only have two. Longfics and fics with big ensemble casts can easily end up with a dozen characters or more who really do deserve to be tagged for.

Put them in order of importance. This doesn't have to be strict hierarchal ranking, you can just arrange them into groups of “main characters,” “major supporting characters,” and “minor supporting characters.” Nobody less than a minor supporting character should be tagged. Even minor supporting characters show up for more than one line.

If everyone in the fic is genuinely at the same level of importance (which does happen, especially with small cast fics), then order doesn't really matter. You can arrange them by order of appearance or alphabetically by name if you want to be particularly neat about it.

Do tag your OCs! Some people love reading about OCs and want to be able to find them; some people can't stand OCs and want to avoid them at all costs; most people are fine with OCs sometimes, but might have to be in the mood for an OC-centric story or only be comfortable with OCs in certain contexts. Regardless, though, Character tags are here to tell readers who the story is about, and that includes new faces. Original Characters are characters and if they're important to the story, they deserve to be tagged for just like canon characters do.

There are tags for “Original Character(s),” “Original Male Character(s),” and “Original Female Character(s).” Use these tags!  If you have OCs you're going to be using frequently in different stories, type up a character tag in the form “[OC's Name] – Original Character” and use that in addition to the generic OC tags.

Also tag “Reader,” “You,” or “Me” as a character if you've written a reader- or self-insert.

You can use the “Minor Characters” tag to wrap up everybody, both OC and canon, who doesn't warrant their own character tag. Remember, though, that this tag is also used to refer to minor canon characters who may not have their own official names.

Just like when tagging for relationships, the convention when tagging for characters is to use their full name. The suggestions the Archive gives you as you type will help you use the established way of referring to a given character.

Characters who go by more than one name usually have their two most used names listed together as one tag with the two names separated by a vertical bar like “Andy | Andromache of Scythia.” This also gets used sometimes for characters who have different names in an adaptation than in the source text, or a different name in the English-language localization of a work than in the original language. For character names from both real-world and fictional languages and cultures that put family or surname before the given name—like the real Japanese name Takeuchi Naoko or the made up Bajoran name Kira Nerys—that order is used when tagging, even if you wrote your fic putting the given name first.

Some characters' tags include the fandom they're from in parentheses after their name like “Connor (Detroit: Become Human).” This is mostly characters with ordinary given names like Connor and no canon surname, characters who have the same full name as a character in another fandom, such as Billy Flynn the lawyer from the musical Chicago and Billy Flynn the serial killer played by Tim Curry in Criminal Minds, and characters based on mythological, religious, or historical figures or named for common concepts such as Lucifer, Loki, Amethyst, Death, and Zero that make appearances in multiple fandoms.

Additional Tags

Additional Tags is one of the most complicated, and often the longest, section of metatext we find ourselves providing when we post fic. It's also the one that gives our readers the greatest volume of information.

That, of course, is what makes it so hard for us to do well.

It can help to break down Additional Tags into three main functions of tag: courtesy tags, descriptive tags, and personal tags.

Courtesy tags serve as extensions of the rating and warning systems. They can help clarify the rating, provide more information about the Archive Warnings you've used or chosen not to use, and give additional warnings to tell readers there are things in this fic that may be distasteful, upsetting, or triggering but that the Archive doesn't have a standard warning for.

Descriptive tags give the reader information about who's in this fic, what kind of things happen, what tropes are in play, and what the vibe is, as well as practical information about things like format and tense.

Personal tags tell the readers things about us, the author, our process, our relationship to our fic, and our thoughts at the time of posting.

It doesn't really matter what order you put these tags in, but it is best practice to try to clump them: courtesy tags all together so it's harder for a reader to miss an important one, ship-related info tags together, character-related info tags together, etc.

There are tons and tons of established tags on Ao3, and while it's totally fine, fun, and often necessary to make up your own tags, it's also important to use established tags that fit your fic.  For one thing, using established tags makes life easier for the tag wranglers behind the scenes. Using a new tag you just made up that means the same thing as an established tag makes more work for the tag wranglers. We like the tag wranglers, they're all volunteers, and they're largely responsible for the search and sorting features being functional. Be kind to the tag wranglers.

For basically the same reasons, using established tags makes it easier for readers to find your fic. If a reader either searches by a tag or uses filters on another search to “Include” that tag, and you didn't use that tag, your fic will not show up for them even if what you wrote is exactly what they're looking for.  Established tags can be searched by exactly the same way as you search by fandom or pairing, your off the cuff tags cannot.

Let's talk about some well-known established tags and common tag types, divvied up by main function.

Courtesy

A lot of courtesy tags are specific warnings like “Dubious Consent,” “Incest,” “Drug Use,” “Extremely Underage,” “Toxic Relationship,” and “Abuse.” Many of these have even more specific versions such as “Recreational Drug Use” and “Nonconsensual Drug Use,” or “Mildly Dubious Consent” and “Extremely Dubious Consent.”

Giving details about what, if any, drugs are used or mentioned, specifying what kinds of violence or bodily harm are discussed or depicted, details about age differences or power-imbalanced relationships between characters who date or have sex, discussion or depictions of suicide, severe or terminal illness, or mental health struggles is useful. It helps give readers a clear sense of what they'll encounter in your fic and decide if they're up for it.

One the most useful courtesy warning tags is “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” which basically means “there are things in this fic which are really screwed up and may be disturbing, read at your own risk, steer clear if you're not sure.” This tag—like all courtesy warnings, really—is a show of good faith, by using it you are being a responsible, and thoughtful member of the fanfic community by giving readers the power and necessary information to make their own informed decisions about what they are and are not comfortable reading.

Saying to “Heed the tags” is quite self-explanatory and, if used, should be the last or second to last tag so it's easy to spot.  Remember, though, that “Heed the tags” isn't useful if your tags aren't thorough and clear.

“Additional Warnings In Author's Note” is one of only things that should ever go after “Heed the tags.”  If you use this, your additional warnings need to go in the author's note at the very beginning of the fic, not the one at the end of the first chapter.  If your additional warnings write up is going to be very long because it's highly detailed, then it can go at the bottom of the chapter with a note at the beginning indicating that the warnings are at the bottom. Some authors give an abbreviated or vague set of warnings in the initial note, then longer, highly detailed, spoilery warnings in the end note. It's best to make it as simple and straightforward as possible for readers to access warnings.

Tagging with “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat,” “Heed the tags,” or “Additional Warnings In Author's Note” is not a substitute for thorough and appropriate courtesy tagging. These are extra reminders to readers to look closely at the other warnings you've given.

While most courtesy tags are warnings, some are assurances like “No Lesbians Die” or “It's Not As Bad As It Sounds.”  A fic tagged for rape or dub-con may get a tag assuring that the consent issues are not between the characters in the main ship; or a fic with a premise that sounds likely to involve lack of consent but actually doesn't may get a tag that it's “NOT rape/non-con.” A tag like “Animal Death” may be immediately followed by a freeform tag assuring that the animal that dies is not the protagonist's beloved horse.

Descriptive

There are a few general kinds of descriptive tags including character-related, ship-related, temporal, relation-to-canon, trope-related, smut details, and technical specifications.

Many character- and ship-related tags simply expand on the Character and Relationship tags we've already talked about.  This is usually the place to specify details about OCs and inserts, such as how a reader-insert is gendered.

When it comes to character-related tags, one of the most common types in use on Ao3 and in fandom at large is the bang-path. This is things like werewolf!Alex, trans!Max, top!Sam, kid!Jamie, and captain!Tori. Basically, a bang-path is a way of specifying a version of a character. We've been using this format for decades; it comes from the very first email systems used by universities in the earliest days of internet before the World Wide Web existed. It's especially useful for quickly and concisely explaining the roles of characters in an AU. Nowadays this is also one of the primary conventions for indicating who's top and who's bottom in a ship if that's information you feel the need to establish.  The other current convention for indicating top/bottom is as non-bang-path character-related tags in the form “Top [Character A], Bottom [Character B].”

Other common sorts of character tags are things like “[Character A] Needs a Hug,” “Emotionally Constipated [Character B],” and “[Character C] is a Good Dad.”

Some character-related tags don't refer to a particular character by name, but tell readers something about what kinds of characters are in the fic. Usually, this indicates the minority status of characters and may indicate whether or not that minority status is canon, as in “Nonbinary Character,” “Canon Muslim Character,” “Deaf Character,” and “Canon Disabled Character.”

Down here in the tags is the place to put ship nicknames!  This is also where to say things like “They're idiots your honor” or indicate that they're “Idiots in Love,” maybe both since “Idiots in Love” is an established searchable tag but “They're idiots your honor” isn't yet. If your fandom has catchphrases related to your ship, put that here if you want to.

If relevant, specify some things about the nature of relationships in your fic such as “Ambiguous Relationship,” “Queerplatonic Relationships,” “Polyamory,” “Friends With Benefits,�� “Teacher-Student Relationship,” and so on. Not all fics need tags like these. Use your best judgement whether your current fic does.

Temporal tags indicate when your fic takes place. That can be things like “Pre-Canon” and “Post-Canon,” “Pre-War,” “Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” “1996-1997 NHL season,” “Future Fic,” and so on.  These tags may be in reference to temporal landmarks in canon, in the real world, or both depending on what's appropriate.

Some temporal tags do double duty by also being tags about the fic's relationship to canon. The Pre- and Post-Canon tags are like that.

Other relation-to-canon type tags are “Canon Compliant” for fics that fit completely inside the framework of canon without changing or contradicting anything, “Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence” for fics that are compliant up to a certain point in canon, then veer off (maybe because you started writing the fic when the show was on season two but now it's at season four and you're not incorporating everything from the newer seasons, maybe a character died and you refuse to acknowledge that, maybe you just want to explore what might have happened if a particular scene had gone differently), and the various other Alternate Universe tags for everything from coffee shop AUs and updates to modern settings, to realities where everyone is a dragon or no one has their canon superpowers.

The established format for these tags is “Alternate Universe – [type],” but a few have irregular names as well, such as “Wingfic” for AUs in which characters who don't ordinarily have wings are written as having wings.

If you have written an AU, please tag clearly what it is! Make things easy on both the readers who are in the mood to read twenty royalty AUs in a row, the readers who are in the middle of finals week and the thought of their favorite characters suffering through exams in a college AU would destroy the last shred of their sanity but would enjoy watching those characters teach high school, and the readers who really just want to stick to the world of canon right now.

Admittedly, it can get a little confusing what AU tag or tags you need to describe what you've written since most of us have never had a fandom elder sit us down and explain what the AU tags mean. One common mix up is tagging things “Alternate Universe - Modern Setting” when what's meant is “Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence.”  The misunderstanding here is usually reading “Alternate Universe - Modern Setting” and thinking it means an alternate version of the canon universe that is set at the same time as the canon universe, but is different in some way. That's not how the tag is meant to be used, though.

The Modern Setting AU tag is specifically for fic set now (at approximately the same time period it was written), for media that's canonically set somewhere that is very much not the present of the real world. This can mean things set in the past (like Jane Austen), the future (like Star Trek), or a fantasy world entirely different from our own (like Lord of the Rings or Avatar: the Last Airbender). Fic for a canon that's set more or less “now” doesn't need the Modern Setting AU tag, even if the world of canon is different from our own. If you're removing those differences by putting fantasy or superhero characters in a world without magic or supersoldier serum, you might want the “Alternate Universe - No Powers” tag instead.

Some of the most fun descriptive tags are trope tags. This includes things like “Mutual Pining,” “Bed Sharing” for when your OTP gets to their hotel room to find There Was Only One Bed, “Fake Dating,” “Angst,” Fluff,” “Hurt/Comfort” and all its variants.  Readers love tropes at least as much as we love writing them and want to be able to find their favorites. Everyone also has tropes they don't like and would rather avoid. Tagging them allows your fic to be filtered in and out by what major tropes you've used.

Explicit fics, and sometimes fics with less restrictive ratings, that contain sex usually have tags indicating details about the nature of the sexual encounter(s) portrayed and what sex acts are depicted. These are descriptive tags, but they also do double duty as courtesy tags. This is very much a situation in which tags are a consent mechanism; by thoroughly and clearly tagging your smut you are giving readers the chance to knowingly opt in or out of the experience you've written.

Most of the time, it's pretty easy to do basic tagging for sex acts—you know whether what you wrote shows Vaginal Sex, Anal Sex, or Non-penetrative Sex.  You probably know the names for different kinds of Oral Sex you may have included. You might not know what to call Frottage or Intercrural Sex, though, even if you understand the concept and included the act in your fic. Sometimes there are tags with rectangle-square type relationships (all Blow Jobs are Oral Sex, but not all Oral Sex is a Blow Job) and you're not sure if you should tag for both—you probably should. Sometimes there are tags for overlapping, closely related, or very similar acts or kinks and you're not sure which to tag—that one's more of judgement call; do your best to use the tags that most closely describe what you wrote.

Tag for the kinks at play, if any, so readers can find what they're into and avoid what they're not. Tag for what genitalia characters have if it's nonobvious, including if there's Non-Human Genitalia involved. Tag your A/B/O, your Pon Farr, and your Tentacles, including whether it's Consentacles or Tentacle Rape.

Technical specification tags give information about aspects of the fic other than its narrative content.  Most things on Ao3 are prose fiction so that's assumed to be the default, so anything else needs to be specified in tags. That includes Poetry, Podfics, things in Script Format, and Art. If it is a podfic, you should tag with the approximate length in minutes (or hours). If a fic is Illustrated (it has both words and visual art) tag for that.

Tag if your fic is a crossover or fusion.  The difference, if you're not sure, is that in a crossover, two (or more) entire worlds from different media meet, whereas in a fusion, some aspects of one world, like the cast of characters, are combined with aspects of another, like the setting or magic system.

If the team of paranormal investigators from one show get in contact with the cast of aliens from another show, that's a crossover and you need to have all the media you're drawing from up in the Fandom tags. If you've given the cast of Hamlet physical manifestations of their souls in the form of animal companions like the daemons from His Dark Materials but nothing else from His Dark Materials shows up, that's a fusion, the Fandom tag should be “Hamlet - Shakespeare,” and you need the “Alternate Universe - Daemons” tag. If you've given the members of a boy band elemental magic powers like in Avatar: the Last Airbender, that can be more of a judgement call depending how much from Avatar you've incorporated into your story. If absolutely no characters or specific settings from Avatar show up, it's probably a fusion.  Either way, if the boyband exists in real life, it needs to be tagged as RPF.

Tag if your fic is a Reader-Insert or Self-Insert.

You might want to tag for whether your fic is written with POV First, Second, or Third Person, and if it's Past Tense or Present Tense (or Future Tense, though that's extremely uncommon).  For POV First Person fics that are not self-inserts, or POV Third Person fics that are written in third person limited, you may want to tag which character's POV is being shown. Almost all POV Second Person fics are reader-insert, so if you've written one that isn't, you should tag for who the “you” is.

A fic is “POV Outsider” if the character through whom the story is being conveyed is outside the situation or not familiar with the characters and context a reader would generally know from canon. The waitress who doesn't know the guy who just sat down in her diner is a monster hunter, and the guy stuck in spaceport because some hotshot captain accidentally locked down the entire space station, are both potential narrators for POV Outsider stories.

Other technical specifications can be tags for things like OCtober and Kinktober or fic bingo games.  Tagging something as a Ficlet, One Shot, or Drabble is a technical specification (we're not going to argue right now over what counts as a drabble). Tagging for genre, like Horror or Fantasy, is too.

It's also good to tag accessibility considerations like “Sreenreader Friendly,” but make sure your fic definitely meets the needs of a given kind of accessibility before tagging it.

Personal

Even among personal tags there are established tags!  Things like “I'm Sorry,” “The Author Regrets Nothing,” “The Author Regrets Everything,” and “I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping” are common ones.  Tags about us and our relationship to the fic, such as “My First Work In This Fandom,” “Author is Not Religious,” and “Trans Porn By A Trans Author,” can help readers gauge what to expect from our fic. Of course, you are not at all obligated to disclose any personal information for any reason when posting your fic.

The “I'm Bad At Tagging” tag is common, but probably overused. Tagging is hard; very few of us have a natural feel for it even with lots of practice.  It's not a completely useless tag because it can indicate to readers that you've probably missed some things you should have tagged for, so they should be extra careful; but it can also turn into a crutch, an excuse to not try, and therefore a sign to readers they can't trust your tagging job. Just do your best, and leave off the self depreciation. If you're really concerned about the quality of your tagging, consider putting in an author's note asking readers to let you know if there are any tags you should add.

You might want to let readers know your fic is “Not Beta Read” or, if you're feeling a little cheekier than that, say “No Beta We Die Like Men” or its many fandom-specific variants like the “No Beta We Die Like Robins” frequently found among Batman fics and “No beta we die like Sunset Curve” among Julie and The Phantoms fic. Don't worry, the Archive recognizes all of these as meaning “Not Beta Read.”

The Archive can be inconsistent about whether it stacks specific variants of Additional Tags under the broadest version of the tag like it does with Fandom tags, so best practice is usually to use both.  You can double check by trying to search by a variant tag (or clicking on someone else's use of the variant); if the results page says the broader or more common form of the tag, those stack.

There's no such thing as the right number of tags. Some people prefer more tags and more detail, while other people prefer fewer more streamlined tags, and different fics have different things that need to be tagged for.  There is, however, such a thing as too many tags.  A tagblock that takes up the entire screen, or more, can be unreadable, at which point they are no longer useful. Focus on the main points and don't try to tag for absolutely everything.  Use the “Additional Warnings In Author's Note” strategy if your courtesy tags are what's getting out of hand.

Tag for as much as you feel is necessary for readers to find your fic and understand what they're getting into if they decide to open it up.

A little bit of redundancy in tags is not a sin.  In fact, slight redundancy is usually preferable to vagueness. Clear communication in tags is a cardinal virtue. Remember that tags serve a purpose, they're primarily a tool for sorting and filtering, and (unlike on some other sites like tumblr) they work, so it's best to keep them informative and try to limit rambling in the tags. Ramble at length in your author's notes instead!

Titles

Picking a title can be one of the most daunting and frustrating parts of posting a fic. Sometimes we just know what to call our fics and it's a beautiful moment. Other times we stare at that little input box for what feels like an eternity.

The good news is there's really no wrong way to select a title. Titles can be long or short, poetic or straight to the point. Song lyrics, idioms, quotes from literature or from the fic itself can be good ways to go.

Single words or phrases with meanings that are representative of the fic can be great. A lot of times these are well known terms or are easy enough to figure out like Midnight or Morning Glow, but if you find yourself using something that not a lot of people know what it means, like Chiaroscuro (an art style that uses heavy shadow and strong contrast between light and dark), Kintsukuroi (the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold), or Clusivity (the grammatical term for differences in who is or isn't included in a group pronoun), you should define the term in either a subtitle, i.e. “Chiaroscuro: A Study In Contrast,” or at the beginning of the summary.

As a courtesy to other writers, especially in small fandoms, you may want to check to make sure there's not already another fic with the same title in the same fandom, but this is not required. In large fandoms, there's no point in even trying. After all, there are only so many puns to be made about the full moon and only so many verses to Hallelujah.

It may be common practice on other platforms to include information such as fandom or ship in the title of a fic, but on Ao3 nothing that is specified by tags belongs in the title unless your title happens to be the same as a tag because, for instance, you've straightforwardly titled your character study of Dean Winchester “Dean Winchester Character Study” and also responsibly tagged it as such.

Summaries

Yes, you really do need to put something down for the summary. It might only need to be a single sentence, but give the readers something to go off of.

The summary is there to serve two purposes: one, to catch the interest of potential readers, give them a taste of what's inside, and make them want to know more; and two, to give you a space to provide information or make comments that don't really fit in the tags but that you want readers to see before they open the fic.

We've already talked some about that second function. When you put an explanation of the title or clarification about tags in the summary, that's the purpose it's serving. You can also put notes to “Heed the tags” or instruct readers that there are additional warnings in the author's note here in the summary, rather than doing so in the tags.

The first function, the actual summarizing, can be very hard for some of us.  It's basically the movie trailer for your fic, butwhat are you even supposed to say?

There are two main strategies as to how to approach this: the blurb, and the excerpt. Blurbs are like the synopses you at least used to see on the backs of published books, or the “Storyline” section on an IMDb page. Writing one is a matter of telling your readers who does what, under what circumstances.

Depending on the fic, one sentence can capture the whole thing: “Sam and Alex have sex on a train.” “Tori tries to rob a bank.” “If anybody had mentioned Max's new house was haunted, Jamie wouldn't have agreed to help with the move.”

Sometimes a blurb can be a question! “What happens when you lock a nuclear engineer in a closet with a sewing kit, a tennis ball, and half a bottle of Sprite?”

Of course, plenty of blurbs are more than one sentence. Their length can vary pretty significantly depending on the type and length of fic you're working with and how much detail you're trying to convey, but it shouldn't get to be more than a few short paragraphs. You're not retelling the entire fic here.

An excerpt is a portion of the fic copied out to serve as the summary. This, too, can vary in length from a line or two to several paragraphs, but shouldn't get too long. It should not be an entire scene unless that scene happens to be uncommonly short. It's important to select a portion of the fic that both indicates the who, what, and under what circumstances of the fic and is representative of the overall tone. Excerpts that are nothing but dialogue with no indication of who's talking are almost never a good choice. Portions that are sexually explicit or extremely violent are never ever a good choice—if it deserves content warnings, it belongs inside the fic, not on the results page.

Counterintuitively, some of the best excerpts won't even look like an excerpt to the reader if they don't contain dialogue. They seem like particularly literary blurbs until the reader reaches that part in the fic and realizes they recognize a section of narration.

Some of us have very strong preferences as to whether we write blurbs or use excerpts for our summaries. Some readers have very strong preferences as to which they find useful. Ultimately, there's no accounting for taste, but there are things we can do to limit the frustration for readers who prefer summaries of the opposite kind than we prefer to write, without increasing our own frustration or work load very much. Part of that is understanding what readers dislike about each type so we know what to mitigate.

Blurbs can seem dry, academic, and overly simplified. They don't automatically give the reader a sense of your writing style the way an excerpt does. They can also seem redundant, like they're just rehashing information already given in the tags, so the reader feels like they're being denied any more information without opening the fic.

Excerpts can seem lazy, like you, the author, don't care enough to bother writing a blurb, or pushy like you're telling the reader “just read the fic; I'm not going to give you the information you need to decide if you want to read or not, I'm shoving it in front of you and you just have to read it.” That effect gets worse if your tags aren't very informative or clear about what the plot is, if the excerpt is obviously just the first few lines or paragraphs of the fic, if the except is particularly long, or, worst of all, if all three are true at once.

A lot of the potential problems with blurbs can be minimized by having fun writing them! Make it punchy, give it some character, treat it like part of the story, not just a book report. A fic for a serialized show or podcast, for instance, could have a blurb written in the style of the show's “previously on” or the podcast's intro.  Make sure the blurb gives the reader something they can't just get from the tags—like the personality of your writing, important context or characterization, or a sense of the shape of the story—but don't try to skimp on the tags to do it!

Really, the only way to minimize the potential problems with excerpts is to be very mindful in selecting them. Make sure the portion you've chosen conveys the who, what, and under what circumstances and isn't too long.  You know the story; what seems clear and obvious from the excerpt to you might not be apparent to someone who doesn't already know what happens, so you might need to ask a friend to double check you.

The absolute best way to provide a summary that works for everybody is to combine both methods. It really isn't that hard to stick a brief excerpt before your blurb, or tack a couple lines of blurb after your excerpt, but it can make a world of difference for how useful and inviting your summary is to a particular reader. The convention for summaries that use both is excerpt first, then blurb.

If you're struggling to figure out a summary, or have been in the habit of not providing one, try not to stress over it. Anything is better than nothing.  As long as you've written something for a summary, you've given the reader a little more to help them make their decision. What really isn't helpful, though, is saying “I'm bad at summaries” in your summary. It's a lot like the “I'm Bad At Tagging” tag in that it's unnecessarily self depreciating, frequently comes across as an excuse not to try, and sometimes really is just an excuse. Unlike the “I'm Bad At Tagging” tag, which has the tiny saving grace of warning readers you've probably missed something, saying you're bad at summaries has no utility at all, and may drive away a reader who thought your summary was quite good, but is uncomfortable with the negative attitude reflected by that statement. Summaries are hard. It's okay if you don't like your summary, but it's important for it to be there, and it's important to be kind to yourself about it. You're trying, that's what matters.

Author's Notes

Author's notes are the one place where we, the writers, directly address and initiate contact with our readers. We may also talk to them in the comments section, but that's different because they initiate that interaction while we reply, and comments are mostly one-on-one while in author's notes we're addressing everyone who ever reads our fic.

The very first note on a fic should contain any information, such as warnings or explanations, that a reader needs to see before they get to the body of the story, as well as anything like thanks to your beta, birthday wishes to a character, or general hellos and announcements you want readers to see before they get to the body of the story. On multi-chapter fics, notes at the beginning of chapters serve the same function for that chapter as the initial note on the fic does for the whole story, so you can do things like warn for Self-Harm on the two chapters out of thirty where it comes up, let everyone know your update schedule will be changing, or wish your readers a merry Christmas, if they celebrate it, on the chapter you posted on December 23rd but is set in mid-March.

Notes at the end of a fic or chapter are for things that don't need to be said or are not useful to a reader until after they've read the preceding content, such as translations for that handful of dialogue that's in Vulcan or Portuguese, or any parting greetings or announcements you want to give, like a thanks for reading or a reminder school is starting back so you won't be able to write as much. End notes are the best place to plug your social media to readers if you're inclined to do so, but remember that cannot include payment platforms like Patreon or Ko-fi.

As previously mentioned, warnings can go in end notes but that really should only be done when the warnings are particularly long, such that the length might cause a problem for readers who are already confident in their comfort level and would just want to scroll past the warning description. In that case, the additional warnings need to go in the note at the end of the first chapter, rather than at the end of the fic, if it's a multi-chapter fic; and you need to include an initial note telling readers that warnings/explanations of tags are at the bottom so they know to follow where the Archive tells them to see the end of the chapter/work for “more notes.”

When posting a new work, where the Preface section gives you the option to add notes “at the beginning” or “at the end” or both, if you check both boxes, it means notes at the beginning and end of the entire fic, not the beginning and end of the first chapter. For single-chapter fics this difference doesn't really matter, but for multi-chapter fics it matters a lot. In order to add notes to the beginning or end of the first chapter of a multi-chapter fic you have to first go through the entire process to post the new fic, then go in to Edit, Edit Chapter, and add the notes there.

Series and Chapters

Dealing with Series and Chapters is actually two different issues, but they're closely related and cause some of us mixups, especially when we're new to the site and its systems, so we're going to cover them together.

Series on Ao3 are for collecting up different stories that you've written that are associated with each other in some way. Chapters are for dividing up one story into parts, usually for pacing and to give yourself and your readers a chance to take breaks and breathe, rather than trying to get through the entire thing in a single marathon sitting (not that we won't still do that voluntarily, but it's nice to have rest points built in if we need them).

If your story would be one book if it was officially published, then it should be posted as a single fic—with multiple chapters if it's long or has more than one distinct part, like separate vignettes that all go together. If you later write a sequel to that fic, post it as a new fic and put them together in a series. It's exactly like chapters in a book and books in a series. Another way to think of this structure is like a TV show: different fics in the series are like different seasons of the show, with individual chapters being like episodes.

If you have several fics that all take place in the same AU but really aren't the same story those should go together as a series.  If you wrote a story about a superhero team re-cast as school teachers, then wrote another story about different characters in the same school, that's this situation.

Series are also the best way to handle things like prompt games, bingos, or Kinktober, or collect up one shots and drabbles especially if your various fills, entries, and drabbles are for more than one fandom. If you put everything for a prompt game or bingo, or all your drabbles, together as one fic with a different chapter for each story, what ends up happening is that fic gets recognized by the Archive as a crossover when it isn't, so it gets excluded from the results pages for everyone who told the filters to Exclude Crossovers even though one of the stories you wrote is exactly what they're looking for; and that fic ends up with tons and tons of wildly varying and self-contradictory tags because it's actually carrying the tags for several entirely different, possibly unrelated stories, which also means it ends up getting excluded from results pages because, for instance, one out of your thirty-one Kinktober entries is about someone's NoTP.

Dividing these kinds of things up into multiple fic in a series makes it so much easier for readers to find what of your work they actually want to read.

If you've previously posted such things as a single fic, don't worry, it's a really common misunderstanding and there is absolutely nothing stopping you from reposting them separately. You may see traffic on them go up if you do!

Parting Thoughts

Metatext is ultimately all about communication, and in this context effective communication is a matter of responsibility and balance.

Ao3 is our archive. It's designed for us, the writers, to have the freedom to write and share whatever stories we want without having to worry that we'll wake up one day and find our writing has been deleted overnight without warning.  That has happened too many times to so many in our community as other fanfic sites have died, been shut down, or caved to threats of legal action. Ao3 is dedicated to defending our legal right to create and share our stories. Part of the deal is that, in exchange for that freedom and protection, we take up the responsibility to communicate to readers what we're writing and who it's appropriate for.

We are each other's readers, and readers who don't write are still part of our community. We have a responsibility as members of this community to be respectful of others in our shared spaces.  Ao3 is a shared space. The best way we have to show each other respect is to give one another the information needed to decide if a given fic is something we want to engage with or not, and then, in turn, to not engage with fic that isn't our cup of tea. As long as our fellow writer has been clear about what their fic is, they've done their part of the job. If we decided to look at the fic despite the information given and didn't like what we found, then that's on us.

Because metatext is how we put that vital information about our fics out in the community, it's important that our metatext is clear and easy to parse. The key to that is balance. Striking the balance between putting enough tags to give a complete picture and not putting too many tags that become an unreadable wall; the balance between the urge to be thorough and tag every character and the need to be restrained so those looking for fics actually about a certain character can find them; the balance between using established tags for clarity and ease and making up our own tags for specificity and fun.

Do your best, act in good faith, remember you're communicating with other people behind those usernames and kudos, and, most importantly, have fun with your writing!