#(vs. 'who me? no no no. actually i signed up because i was hoping to run into jimmy here. but i guess i'm out of luck' (dub))

[marshmallowgoop]

I combined footage from my Detektiv Conan Blu-ray with audio from my Case Closed FUNimation DVD and made an HD English dub clip compilation for Episodes 57-58, "The Holmes Freak Murder Case."

[recreationalfanfics]

Hello, I really love how you seem to have such a good read on RoR characters! Kinda shy asking this because I swore I read Record of Ragnarok for the action and backstories but it’s hard to contain my simping…. (๑꒪̇⌄꒪̇๑)

May I request some headcanons for Poseidon x a shy but kind human fem!MC? The idea I had in mind was that some thousands of years ago, Aphrodite, annoyed with Poseidon’s indifference to her charms, “cursed” him with a soulmate. This soulmate turned out to be MC who wasn’t even born yet back then. The plot will take place sometime before the actual human vs. gods battles start, so maybe during some preparation period where they’re setting up the stadium and all that? During this period, the human audience had already been “teleported” there (I don’t think they ever elaborated on how the humans all just end up watching the ragnarok) MC is one of these humans and coincidentally happened upon Poseidon during her stay. Of course, the soulmate stuff won’t magically make Poseidon have a complete change on humankind, but I was hoping he’d gradually soften up to her even if he won’t admit it.

As for what kind of soulmate AU, maybe the type where the first words your soulmate says to you is inscribed somewhere on your body? I think it’ll be fun to have her say something to him, he realizes but doesn’t say anything back so she just doesn’t know until much later.

Hopefully this isn’t too detailed or convoluted (๑•́‧̫•̀๑) And thank you so much in advance if you decide to write this! And if it’s not too much to ask, please don’t kill off Poseidon, but I also don’t want Sasaki to die either… maybe Poseidon will choose to forfeit (after fighting at first) because his soulmate is amongst the humans that will be eliminated if gods win? •ू(ᵒ̴̶̷᷄ωᵒ̴̶̷᷅*•ू) )੭ु⁾⁾

THIS REQUEST IS SO CUTE OMG!? I'M MORE THAN HAPPY TO WRITE THIS FOR YOU BUT ALSO, UR SO VALID FOR WANTING NIETHER OF THEM TO DIE, IDK WHY BUT THIS ANIME MAKES ME ATTATCHED TO BOTH THE GODS AND THE HUMANS-

Either way, I hope I did well, this was my first time writing for Poseidon!

- Consider how vain these two can be sometimes, it's only natural that they would butt heads often but when Poseidon dared to claim that Aphrodite truth wasn't as fair as she claimed herself- no, that she KNEW herself to be- she just couldn't allow this injustice to stand.

- He cherished absolutely nothing, he appreciated absolutely nothing. So she took it upon herself to change that. After all, it was HER who was the Goddess of Love. So she decided to pull a little trick

- Now, lets flashforward (to modern? ancient? Idk, man, heaven time??) and Poseidon has been summoned to his match. A match he felt was pointless but, whatever, who was he to deny his brother?

- Gracing the God's hall and going to his room to prepare and shield himself from sharing the same air as humans; imagine his surprise when he sees you.

- You're pathetic. Skittish, looking around like a confused mutt, and looking as disgusting as the rest of your kind. He knows your human alone and he's offended that you had the AUDACTIY to walk INTO THE AREA WHERE THE GOD'S RESIDE, AND EVEN STAND IN FRONT OF HIS DOOR.

- In reality, you weren't trying to piss anyone off. You had gotten separated from the rest of the humans and accidentally found yourself in a part of the arena you weren't familiar with.

- You were so relieved when you looked and saw another person in the hallway with you! Maybe you could ask them for directions. Poseidon did not know why you were approaching him so casually but he did NOT like it, like, AT ALL.

- Since your soulmates, maybe the reason why you don't feel his threatening aura like other gods and humans do is because some part of you just can't find it in you to fear him. He takes this as a sign of disrespect.

- You do feel anxious, however, he was such an attractive man but he absolutely did not look pleased to see you and you assumed he was just having a bad day.

- "H-Hello, I don't mean to trouble you!" You call out, your voice quiet and filled with uncertainty.

- He narrows his eyes at you, absolutely enraged by the idea of you approaching him so casually. You filthy little worm, he should destroy right-

- But then he takes a look at his wrist, he doesn't know why he does, a subconscious decision perhaps. But he side eyes you...odd, he makes sure to check his wrist. Oh well, he may as well grant you a few seconds of life.

- Then he checks his wrist and sees that the very first words you said to him...were on it. He looks from his wrist to you, who has no idea what's going on and honestly just wanted to find a way out of this big hallway.

- "U-Um, sir? I-I'm sorry, but do you know the way out?"

- He merely narrows his eyes at you before summoning his trident into his hands and thats when you realize; you're standing before a God. He says nothing to you and you instantly want to apologize but before you could, he just points in his trident into the direction he came from.

- You look at him, scared and confused, and he continues to stare at you with cold eyes. When he doesn't say or do anything for a few minutes you finally realized he was pointing the direction out.

- You apologize for the trouble and run like hell, his gaze following you.

- He observes you closely after that, believing this may be some kind of mistake. Thats why he didn't say anything to you, because a part of him was nervous. But he was mostly angry.

- It showed by when he barged into Aphrodite's room to DEMAND her what trickery she had stuped too and to undo it, she just smiles slyly and asks him: "What trickery?~"

- After some frustrating interrogation that goes NOWHERE...he finds himself staring at you quiet often, the mortals all cowering in fear when they feel his divine prescence. Not you, though, you never seem to notice him until you follow their stares and see his cold eyes, staring you down like you were gum under his new shoes.

- It's a very odd exchange, overall. Everyday, he'd show up at the most random of times and causing a stir among everyone else but yourself. Sometimes it'd even be multiple visits a day. Either way it confused you because the matches hadn't even started and already, you had somehow invoked a God's wrath.

- At least, that's what you thought at first until you noticed that he never did anything to really threaten your safety. Yes, watching you was a bit odd, but you find that you aren't really all that nervous about it anymore. Especially since with every visit, you believe that his gaze softens when they're set upon you.

- He kept his distance at first but then, once you started to take notice of him, you'd offer him to sit next to you as you sat in the beautiful fields that surrounded the arena or would be reading in one of the vast nearby libraries. Originally he would just walk away and as time went on he slowly began to warm up to you.

- Like a cat. tbh.

- He couldn't help it, at least, it FELT like he couldn't help it. He didn't know if it was your bond as soulmates, the unyielding kindness that he originally saw as foolish and niave, or overall just your quiet nature until you saw your friends.

- Either way, the more he began to see you, the more he could look past your flaws (which was being a human) and start to appreciate the things about you the made you beautiful.

- Don't get me wrong, he was definetly in denial for the longest time so he would kinda start off with small things. Like it goes from: "Oh, at least they bowed their head to my statue, thats a redeemable quality, at least." to "She is the epitome of perfection♡"

- You wouldn't really ever know that Poseidon's feelings towards you have grown, he hides it very well behind that stoic face that he wears and he hasn't even really spoken to you, yet. He doesn't know why but he feels like...the time isn't right. Despite his growing feelings, he truly isn't ready to accept a human as his soulmate yet.

- You just assumed he didn't talk much so you never pushed him too. Yeah, it mightve been a bit awkward at first but you appreciated his prescence, it brought you a new sense of comfort and peace that you never felt, not even when you were alive.

- When you made flower crowns in the gardens, you'd ask if you could decorate his trident for him and he gave you a deadpan stare before nodding his head in approval. He'd silently gesture you to follow him and show you a private pool whenever a say seemed a bit too hot for you and watch as you played in it, a soft smile growing on his face.

- He would even feel a bit of anger when he was with his fellow gods, listening to them generalize their hatred towards humanity. Usually Poseidon would join them but he couldn't bring himself too. After all, humanity was pesky and troublesome but some of them weren't that bad.

- They could be sweet, they could be unfailingly kindhearted and empathetic...They could be you. So he'd just glare distastefully but never say anything, but he didn't need to as everyone slowly stopped talking after sensing they somehow upset him.

- He spent a lot of his time with you during the days that led up to his match, you were unsure of who to root for; since it's true that humanity would be wiped out if the God's continued to win but at the same time, you didn't want to see Poseidon get hurt.

- He picked you out from the crowd immediately and made eye contact with you, not even acknowledging his opponent as he stepped into the ring.

- Did he still look down on humanity? Yes. But...he supposed there were some good aspects to it. Good aspects like you.

- As the mythical creatures and gods from his side cheered him on, shouting insults towards the humans, and telling him to destroy them like the ants they were: his eyes were locked on your (e/c) eyes before he finally made a decision. Internally, he had just lost a battle within himself in that moment...but he wasn't upset about it.

- So he interrupts Heimdall's introduction speeches as he addresses the whole crowd, "I FORFIET THIS MATCH!"

- Shock and bafflement was all that could be heard from both sides of the arena. They couldn't have possibly heard him right, though, after all: He was Poseidon, the beautiful God of the Sea, there was no way he would just-

- Then he looked at you and your heart leapt at hearing his voice for the first time. His eyes became gentle as they stared into yours, "I will fight for humanity. For some of you are worthy yet."

- You didn't respond for a bit, not noticing how the words "I will fight for humanity" appeared on your wrist, but he did. And he knew that even if Aphrodite had "cursed" him, that it truly didn't bother him. You were made for him. His perfect mortal♡

- This was only proven when you broke out of your shocked trance faster than anyone and cheered his name happily, your shyness lost as you joyfully cheered his name, causing him to visibly smile in front of everyone.

[prince-kallisto]

Crowley’s “Piece of My World”: The Twisted Storyteller of Twisted Wonderland

This is a continuation of @moonlightequin1’s and I’s previous theory right here regarding Realm Dominance and “Piece of my World!” For further context, I recommend reading that one first. And to @camrastuff, I hope this post answers your questions on our take of Crowley’s magic!

Ray and I truly discussed a lot about Crowley and what the purpose of his Unique Magic could be for. As a small recap of the previous theory, we think that theme song for TWST, “Piece of My World,” is the name of Crowley’s Unique Magic. This is all tied back to Realm Dominance, a rare and ancient class of magic brought up in Book 7 regarding Malleus’ Overblot powers and how he puts everyone in his barrier asleep. Crowley’s “Piece of My World” has not only created the pocket dimensions inside the dorm mirrors, but may also have a similar potential to Malleus’ magic- as in it could take over the whole world.

It’s the “Villains’ World,” right? A world where there is a “true happily ever after.” A world where the OG Disney Villains won and are viewed favorably as a good people. But the game acknowledges that this isn’t the truth- through Yuu. Why can Yuu see the truth behind the Great Seven’s actions if it wasn’t accurate to Twisted Wonderland’s lore? That’s where Crowley’s Piece of My World comes in. Ray and I think that Crowley has been using his magic all along, and is quite literally the key and heart to Twisted Wonderland. Crowley constantly being associated with a bird with a key in its mouth is far more literal than it seemed.

Crowley IS creating the current world as we know it- through Realm Dominance that can literally change the world to what the caster desires. He is creating this artificial “happily ever after” for the students of NRC, where they can prosper and live as the people they are because of the deeds of this Great Seven. This world is not meant to be, but if he can imagine it, he has the power to change it.

Ray pointed out to me that so many of the game mechanics reference storybooks. The main game storylines are literally called “Books,” and blot is a very inky substance as well! And in the opening animation, there’s a very quick set of frames of an open book and spilled bottle of ink, before flashing to an image of NRC and then Crowley, in that order. The animation may be trying to hit that Crowley is literally writing the story of Twisted Wonderland. Crowley even points out that mages write or draw to improve their magic! Magic is all about imagination, after all.

But like Leona said about Azul in Book 3: magic is not invincible and has its limits and weaknesses, no matter how powerful it may seem at first. “All Magic’s got a loophole.” I think this is especially applicable on a world scale, where the magic is highly instable. It’s why the conflict of RSA vs NRC still exists, as a sign of the world where the villains lose. It’s why Yuu has the dreams and the visions of the actual villainy in Disney canon regarding Great Seven- they are able to see through the cracks of Crowley’s magic because they are an anomaly in Twisted Wonderland.

This all sounds too good to be true at first, especially for Crowley who is notably morally grey character throughout the storyline. He has little to no qualms of using Yuu as his pawn, with sly threats of removing Ramshackle, food, and money from them if they don’t carry out his dirty work. He’s very detached from someone who is the protagonist of the game. But that’s exactly what still makes Crowley a flawed character despite deeply caring for the rest of his students- he is willing to sacrifice the few for the majority.

Yuu quite literally is not from this world and was brought here unwillingly, and Grim is an artificial creature (a magical and likely forced fusion between an animal and a Direbeast) with no knowledge of his own past. Crowley also consistently refers to Grim as a “monster,” whereas the other characters through main story more respectfully call him a Direbeast and are overall chill with him.

Yuu and Grim are not the people Crowley is trying to save. They are pawns he picked out on purpose to sacrifice and serve the greater good, even if his plans don’t serve in THEIR best interest. But how exactly are Yuu and Grim Crowley’s pawns? Why does Crowley let the students Overblot if he’s trying to save them?

This is where to oh-so famous Time Loop theory comes it. It’s a popular theory that Twisted Wonderland is “looping,” with a world-ending calamity that forces the story to restart. This disaster is currently theorized to be Phantom! Grim seen in the prologue. Yuuya in the TWST novel also starts off with experiencing this event, referring to Twisted Wonderland as being a “wasteland from the start.” Hehe the way it says “anything that had ever been was merely an illusion.” I feel rather validated with this theory now \(//∇//)\

If Crowley is truly using Realm Dominance across the entire world, twisting its history and its people, he may essentially be “rewriting” the world over and over again in order to reach the happy ending. Crowley’s magic isn’t invincible- there must be a point in time where everything comes to a breaking point. The truth keeps forcing the nature of their villainy to light and bringing them to a bad end, because villains aren’t meant to have a happy ending. But he keeps going, turning back the pages to achieve a good ending.

Yuu has the dreams of the canon Disney villains and their crimes because that’s the truth behind Twisted Wonderland. It is also why in Book 5, they have a flashback of Phantom Grim. It’s not Yuu seeing the future- it’s Yuu remembering the previous versions of Twisted Wonderland before Crowley restarted the story. Yuu was brought into this world from a whole different one by the Black Carriage, a system Crowley has control over. Crowley is essentially writing in a new character into the story to help save the others. The Dark Mirror even considers Yuu a “blank slate.” It doesn’t matter if Yuu perishes or receives a bad ending, as long as everyone else is saved. As long as Yuu can be the “Beast Tamer” to control Grim and being the others together, that’s all that matters to Crowley.

Edit: I’d like to add I got a bit carried away with this point haha! I think Crowley’s relationship with Yuu and Grim is far more complex- and not him being a heartless person. It’s a very strange mix of Crowley indeed having a level of care Yuu (notable in the novel where he’s very kind to Yuuya and supports him in a gentle manner because of Yuuya’s skittish personality), but also willing to take a level of risk for their fate. There is the possibility that no manner what happens to Yuu in the world of Twisted Wonderland, they can be returned to their own world safe and sound. It’s just an overall complicated relationship, because Yuu’s distrust of Crowley in the main story has certainly grown, and I can’t blame them. There’s many sides of Crowley they just can’t see from their perspective, with Book 4 definitely feeling like a final straw of sorts. I hope Crowley’s care can come to light one day, because there’s a lot more there than he lets on.

Him trying to save the students seems ironic with all the Overblots going on at NRC, doesn’t it? But that’s exactly his way of saving them, while also sacrificing Grim. The Overblots, while extremely life threatening, have served each character and their respective dorm mates a lot of purpose. They've all grown more into their own people since their incidents, even it some progress doesn't seem as notable at first. And I think this extreme way of emotional outlet has improved the characters magic quality as well, from what we can judge from Book 6 and STYX. The characters working together to defeat the Titans and then Overblot! Idia and Phantom Ortho, to even Vil sacrificing himself for Idia. It’s so much progress!

If there is a bad end the students are forced to confront, Crowley is preparing them for the worst. Their magic levels, their bonds, how to face Overblots when there is no one else to rescue them. He is trying to prepare them for the future they must face and surpass in order to reach their happy ending. Because even if Crowley himself prevents the individual Overblots, the bad ending will always be inevitable, so he’s essentially brute forcing it for the slight possibility a good ending is near. It’s like Vil said in Book 6: even if there’s a 0.001 chance, it’s better than zero. In an older theory, I elaborate far more on the idea that I think Crowley is even causing the Overblots on purpose 👀

This where Grim comes in. Grim is eating all the Overblot crystals, crystals that Crowley knew about and was trying to collect himself. Crowley could easily intervene whenever Grim eats the crystals- it’s quite literally a running gag in the main game that Crowley pops up whenever he wants and conveniently at critical points of the game! How does Crowley know when to show up when there’s conflict or the characters are asking questions and confused? As the “storyteller,” he is essentially popping in the aid the characters and coax them towards the storyline they’re supposed to go to. But he won’t involve himself in the actual story, as he’s essentially an omniscient narrator, who knows things that the characters and the MC themselves don’t.

So back to Grim, Crowley doesn’t intervene because Grim is essentially storing all the blot inside him, preventing any contamination of the already unstable world of TWST. Grim is already a magical fusion between an animal and Direbeast, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the 1000 year old ancient magic used on him was done to force his body to be capable of retaining all the blot. Phantom Grim is a creature made up of parts from all the Overblots, like a Jabberwocky. In Alice in Through the Looking Glass (Official sequel to Alice in Wonderland. “Coincidentally,” the Looking Glass world is a world where everything is opposite as it should be) , the Jabberwocky is a creature that can only be slayed by the Vorpal Sword.

Ray and I think that Crowley’s plan is for the characters to slay Grim, as he is the disaster preventing them from their happy ending. Swords have become more prevalent in Book 7, with Silver and the Dawn Knight and even RSA’s logo being the sword. Since the Jabberwocky can only be defeated through very specific circumstances, it goes that Grim is the same way too.

But if Crowley is in control of the world, why not stop Grim himself? That’s exactly the thing- his magic is not invincible. Grim is an accidental side product of Crowley rewriting the world to be the Villains world. Grim must be the culmination of consequences for doing such a drastic thing with magic, and will always exist in every version of the story. He is the blot, he is the “ink” that’s being used to write these pages. It is the one primary thing that Crowley cannot overwrite, no matter his control at the omniscient narrator. The only way to not have Grim is not change the world at all, which is not what Crowley wants.

I know this idea seems complicated and overwhelming haha! Ray and I got pretty overexcited and yelling at each other through DMs, but it’s different trying to thoroughly word this out for theories! I will post the third and likely final part to this MAIN theory soon, which Ray also wrote a thread in Twitter. There’s so many side parts to this theory to cover, as we think it’s critical to the end game. Thank you reading all the way!! \(//∇//)\ I love hearing everyone’s thoughts and questions! ^_^

[tiyoin]

Tiyoin the voices got to me again. I was scrolling tho tik tok and came across a video ,and it reminded me that you mentioned reader doing a sport before attending twst in the singing au. Wanna give a guess what sport I saw??

It was ✨figure skating✨. Just imagine it for a sec. Do I know anything about skating?? No. But the idea of anxiety reader being one is beautiful. Especially since skating isnt a confrontation sports like soccer and, reader doesn't have to be in contact with someone while performing their act.

I see reader starting the sport when they were young. They may have seen it as a way to put themselves out there while doing something they enjoy and find relaxing. They didn't compete in big contests with thousands of people watching (girlie would not make it). They would only get to county or district level of the contest B4 the nerves got to them. Most likely self sabotages at the end so they wouldn't have to seen and judged by so many. Reader does has a few gold medals tho. Yuu has been their personal cheerleader for a few years now. Going to as many contests as he can to just support reader and know they're not alone.

✨Now✨

What if there is a different competition (w/o a overblot hopefully) which a sport is picked randomly. Whether you want it to be a school vs school, dorm vs dorm or maybe grade vs grade you can decide. I think it could work with any of them. Like they pick a few people to represent their side and to complete. The ones that physically compete get prizes (💰) and the others get bragging rights and a 🍕 pizza party or smth like that idk.

Anyways, Yuu is like *puppy eyes* pls reader 👉👈we poor. And reader knows Yuu is only asking cuz they they really need the money and he would never make them do smth that would harm them. Yuus real motive is maybe this will help reader make friends or less be less anxious around their classmates. And he knows Reader is gonna win cuz none of the others skate.

The only ones in NRC that I can see being able to skate to a degree is Rook, Jade or Ortho maybe Epel too. He probably hated it till his grandma said only strong people could skate cuz it's hard. I think his home town is gets snow right? Can't recall rn.

Depending on which VS is picked the outfit and preforment is gonna be a easy choice or the hardest thing in the whole contest. Maybe a duet gets thrown in there. ➖👄👁️

Overall reader is ✨stressed✨ rightfully so. The creeps are recording, admirers admirering, rivals showing up left and right. Reader gonna need a nap after everything that's happened.

Another 3-5 am ask woooo. Sorry if there is any spelling errors. Why do the best ideas always come when I'm tired 😩. I can send u a tik tok I saw that inspired me if u want. Also I don't mean to mention Rook in every ask he just shows up w/o asking. Like my fav is Malleus and I haven't send a single idea with him.

Maybe it's cuz Rooks a Sagittarius and I'm a Gemini. They are sister signs. That's probably why he lives in my head rent free. I hope a good night.

MEL- I NEED TO KISS YOU BRAIN RIGHT NOW!!

especially with the death of YOI: adolescence... a sad day for anime lovers' everywhere (im on desktop so i can't do any emojis </3)

I actually had a really big skating phase. still do and would love to have prof. lessons. i wanted to do it so. badly. my parents said 'no' and that it was too late for me, so i mourn that. believe it or not, i was in soccer and almost did it in college.

but the ice feeling so freeing whenever reader steps onto it. they're not worried about sweating because of ice, and they can move how the want when they want.

reader would 100 PERCENT self sabotage themselves. filling their head with nonsense and because of all those thoughts (especially) 'dont miss this spin, dont miss this spin' only to miss it because they were focusing on whether they would 'miss the spin or not')

but in their home world, reader is phenomenal!! they're amazing! they got scouted by amazing coaches who wanted to tap into their raw potential, who were impressed by reader's hard work and drive... but reader always finds a away to miss things up for themselves.

OH MY GOD AHHH SPORTING COMPETETIONS WERE ALWAYS MY FAVORITE ARCS IN SHOWS

ITS LIKE THEIR OWN MINI OLYMPICS HAHAHA (reader: wdym you guys dont have olympics?)

ofc there's a pre sign up and auditions. reader is thinking and mulling it over. because trying out for the boys team is very different than the girl's team, is co-ed even allowed?? this is an all boys school after all!

(yuu brings crowley to their audition to convince him to give them student-ship so they can compete and WRECK those snot-nosed princes.)

maybe there's a partner skate? and you know that the admirers of reader that can skate and sign. the. fuck. up.

I WANT SKATER JADE!! I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT!! but home boy would probably not be able to skate at the level of reader just because he's og a fish and if he started skating when he turned human then he'd only have a year of experience </3

but lets just say there's a sports thing they have... not club but dedicated for this event... then i can see jade being somewhat on reader's level. but there's still a difference unfortunately

ROOK HUNT SKATED OUT OF THE WOMB!! ortho could professionally skate sine... 5 minutes ago? like c'mon guys get on his level.

though i can see rook rather being an observer. he also called it 'ice dancing' because that's what it is to him. but if rook trying out for this instead of his usual sweep of archery, all to stop some... he doesn't have a word for the level of disgust he'd have if he saw you dancing with a slimy no name.

plus he will be able to experience your growth! not just as a skater but as a person! he can also get closer to you!

vil. vil can! ice dance. he needed to learn it for a film and he's always liked the feeling of being on the ice. which makes pomefiore the contenders for being on the team / being reader's partner during partner categories.

epel would want ot learn hockey but was forced into ice skating by his grandma HAHAH she'd say that he can learn to play hockey after he's mastered the ice or something. it's something he's NOT proud of- but (if this is the point where him and reader are on good terms) then he'll happily play up him being a skating pro.

i can also see vil forcing epel into skating for the school. like wdym ice skating is for girls? get your ass on the ice NOW

SILVER AND LILIA WOULD ALSO BE ICE SKATERS AHHH. but it's a bit dangerous for silver to be on the ice but if it means helping support his friend then he's gung ho about it! just... please keep an eye on him in case he starts falling (he's usually good about that. making it to the sides before he was able to face plant on the ice. but lilia is always present in case of such emergencies (and if the designated watchers arent able to get to him in time))

lilia has dabbled in a bit of everything. so if you see him whip out a quad (with only a little bit of stumbling, as he complains about his bones again) he'll act like it's not hard (it's not- for him)

BUT IF MALLEUS WANTS TO GET INTO THAT ICE SKATING ACTION THEN HE'LL SPEND HOURS AT IT. the prince bale to do things a bit differently than everyone since he's.. ya knw, thee malleus draconia.

crowley ; you can barly even skate! why are you at the try outs!

malleus :... give me a week (and the mofo MEANS IT)

and dw i get random spouts of 'rook hunter-itis too. I DONT MIND YOU BRINGING HIM UP CAUSE I LOVE HIM- AND MALLEUS AHHHH)

[firstkanaphans]

I heartily concur with your interpretation of the Ray/Mew no-sex scene - it absolutely wasn't about sex, it was about Ray pleading with Mew to just give him a sign that he's actually genuine about this 'relationship' - at this point I think Ray wants to be with Sand, but as long as there's a chance Mew is being sincere about this, Ray feels bound to stay with him, not because he's in love with him, but because a) he begged for this (even though I still maintain he wouldn't have had Mew not brought it up again) and b) I don't think he has it in him to actively reject Mew (which in itself is part of the reason they don't work), so imo in this scene he's thinking 'show me something, anything, that allows me to convince myself I did the right thing playing it safe/not going after Sand' and THAT'S why he's so angry - it's not about sex, it's not about Top, it's not even about Mew not being able to love him. And it's not about him just being mad at not getting what he wants. It's about Ray realising that he's thrown away the possibility of real love for the lie that is this 'romance'. And like you said, Mew as good as confirms as much in the final convo. I appreciated Mew's maturity and honesty so much in that scene - it made me do a complete u-turn on his character. Mew realises that Ray wants out of this non-relationship just as much as he does, but he also knows that Ray will never be able to be the one to say it because of the power imbalance between them, so he does it for the both of them, which is a true act of love and friendship. I think for some ppl Ray 'choosing' Sand had to be an A or B scenario, aka Ray could have Mew but chooses Sand instead. But because Ray is a messed up raw wound seeping trauma and addiction and self-loathing and confusion it was never going to be that simple. What we get is more complicated but just as valid - Sand isn't his second option, Sand is who he WANTS to be with, Sand is who he loves, and who he WOULD be with if a) he was better equipped to recognise and understand his own feelings ('when I'm with you I'm so damn happy') and b) he didn't have such a longstanding and complicated (and unhealthily co-dependent) history with Mew. He doesn't drive off hoping to hook up with Sand because Mew turned him down. He seeks Sand out because, if we agree the Ray/Mew fight is the moment they both accept on some level their relationship is fake, then that's the moment Ray allows himself the chance to go after what his heart really wants, which is Sand. Ray doesn't have the emotional toolkit necessary to be able to articulate all this to himself, let alone to anyone else, which is why Mew very gently does it for him. But Mew being the one to break this to Ray doesn't mean Ray's feelings are any less his own. I think of it more this way: Sand is Ray's first choice, but Ray's own happiness is Ray's last choice, because on some level he doesn't believe he deserves it, and so without intervention - from Mew, from Sand - Ray would always continue to self-sabotage (as talked about in the tweet Jojo reposted a few days ago). And slightly but not entirely off topic: I also think nuance is often lost in translation - I might be wrong but I wonder if his words ('why won't you let me have it') are less...yeesh in Thai. Just part of a general thought I've been thunking about deep analysis of foreign language shows when you're reading so much into everything and yet relying on what are often serviceable at best subtitles (for which I'm still eternally grateful!) - SO MUCH can be misinterpreted by just a single word choice, and I sometimes find myself having to choose between taking subs at face value vs retranslating them in my head to what I think better suits the acting/story/characterisation. Apologies for the indecent length of this - I got carried away! Long story short: I agree with you!

Honestly, I agree with all of this and couldn't have said it better myself. I don't have much to add, but I will pull out some of my favorite lines for a TL;DR:

"At this point I think Ray wants to be with Sand, but as long as there's a chance Mew is being sincere about [their relationship], Ray feels bound to stay with him, not because he's in love with him, but because a) he begged for this...and b) I don't think he has it in him to actively reject Mew."

"So imo in this scene he's thinking 'show me something, anything, that allows me to convince myself I did the right thing playing it safe/not going after Sand' and THAT'S why he's so angry - it's not about sex, it's not about Top, it's not even about Mew not being able to love him....It's about Ray realising that he's thrown away the possibility of real love for the lie that is this 'romance.'"

"I think of it more this way: Sand is Ray's first choice, but Ray's own happiness is Ray's last choice, because on some level he doesn't believe he deserves it, and so without intervention - from Mew, from Sand - Ray would always continue to self-sabotage."

As for the question of translation accuracy, I actually did a little digging into this. The line that was translated as "Why won't you let me have it?" was literally บอกกูมาได้ป่ะว่าทำไมมึงถึงไม่ยอมให้กูเอาสักทีอ่ะ (bòk goo maa dâai bpà wâa tam-mai meung tĕung mâi yom hâi goo ao sàk tee à), which can more accurately be translated as "Can you tell me why you won't let me have it?" I know that's not a huge difference, but it turns an accusatory statement into a legitimate question. Ray's not just stomping his foot because Mew won't give him sex. He's asking for an explanation. [Insert disclaimer about me not being a native Thai speaker here.]

[its-time-to-write]

Hi!! I’ve got a request that I’ve been thinking of for a while (but if you don’t vibe with it, that’s cool). I’m imagining something after the S1 Richmond vs Man City game, where Jamie goes to reader for comfort, both because his dad sucks (obviously) but also because like? Jamie’s football hero got badly injured and will probably never play again because he tackled Jamie? I just feel like Jamie would be upset and think Roy’s retirement is partially his fault.

😎

you don’t want to know me

It’s fucking late. 

It’s fucking late and you’re still awake.

It’s always like this after a Man City game, and it’s been like this since they signed Jamie Tartt. You’ve been friends for ages, always running in the same circles. Your friendship of proximity has now turned into a real friendship, although you hadn’t seen him since he was loaned to Richmond. 

You’d been at the game, because you never missed a match. Man City was your team ever since you moved to Manchester and you have to say, it was weird to see Jamie. You were proud of him for making the extra pass because it was different than how he had been playing, and a brilliant move to rely on his team. The only thing you didn’t like was thinking about why Jamie played selfishly. You just hope James Tartt, Sr. is far, far away from Manchester, from the match, and from Jamie. 

You settle into your bed with the lights dimmed, ready for a long, sleepless night. 

You’ve been staring at the plant on your dresser for so long that it’s starting to look distorted. You sigh and think about Jamie again. A branch taps your window and you groan. Fucking wind.

You roll over and it taps again with more insistence. It sounds like little rocks. 

You remember you don’t have a tree outside your window and you bolt up. You flip off the lights and pull the curtains back to reveal Jamie Tartt throwing stones at the glass like you’re teenagers again. You turn the light back on and give him a one second motion.

You hurry downstairs, turning the light on in the living room as you go, and unlock your front door. Jamie stands in the porch light, so different from the last time you saw him. He says, “Can I come in?” so you move aside.

He’s just standing awkwardly in your kitchen, still in his Man City tracksuit. His hair is slicked down and you have the urge to run your fingers through it to muss it a little. Make him look how he used to.

“D’you- d’you want something to eat?” you ask and he’s a little taken aback. You wonder who’s been taking care of him, if anyone. He gives you a little half nod, and you wordlessly point to the couch. He sits there stiffly as you pull out a plate and some leftovers, and put them in the microwave. You silently hand the plate to Jamie and sit on the couch next to him.

He’s not in a talking mood and neither are you, necessarily, but you’re absolutely sure he hasn’t actually talked to anyone in ages. Georgie has stopped mentioning him so much so you figure he must not be calling her anymore. That’s why you bite the bullet and say, “It was your dad, wasn’t it?”

Jamie nods.

“And seeing Roy Kent injured, too, right?”

He nods again and puts down the fork.

“I mean, he’s a dick and all, and he fucking hates me, but his poster was on my wall. He was my hero. And I fucking- I fucking injured him. It was my fault. He was chasing me down and he tackled, and broke his fuckin’ knee. And then me dad-” Jamie can’t speak for a minute. “He was just there, and he said a bunch of shit and pushed me around. Felt like a kid again.”

It’s funny. This isn’t the first time Jamie’s showed up like this, but it’s the first time in his Premier League career. You wonder why he chose now.

You choose silence, taking the plate from him and setting it on the coffee table. You unzip his jacket and help him shrug it off, then give into the urge to mess up his hair. You move your hands slowly toward his head and he flinches the tiniest bit. His hair is crunchy and he needs a shower, but you think he needs human contact first.

There’s nothing you can say to make this better, so you choose to say something that won’t make it worse. 

“Do you want to spend the night?”

Jamie looks up at you with that same surprised look, breaking your heart a little.

“You have to shower first,” you warn. “I just washed my sheets.”

Jamie nods. 

“C’mon,” you say, standing up with his hand in yours. “I’ll show you where the bathroom is.”

Jamie leaves his jacket on the couch as he follows you. You’d sell your soul for this boy, and you think maybe he knows it. You’ve been in love with him for the longest time and sometimes you could almost convince yourself he felt the same way.

You were really convincing in times like these.

“Alright. Here’s the shower, it should have everything you need. Extra towel’s right behind the door.” 

You turn to leave, but Jamie tightens his grip on your hand.

“Stay,” he pleads. “I’m not tryin’ anything, I just hate showering alone. You can sit on the sink for all I care, I just can’t be fucking alone.”

You won’t refuse him. You nod and he slips behind the shower curtain, throwing his clothes over the top and onto the floor.

He’s not in there long and doesn’t say much, just asks you to throw a towel over.

You go to your room to give him some privacy and sit on the bed until Jamie appears in your doorway. He’s in his Man City track pants and no shirt, damp hair falling in his face. 

You ask, “Do you want the left side?” and Jamie nods, so you move to get under the covers and pat the bed. Jamie slides under the sheets, smelling like lavender. You’d think you would both be stiff and awkward, but you’re not. You’re pulled to each other like magnets, like gravity. That’s why you wrap your arms around each other and thread your legs together. 

“I love you,” Jamie murmurs.

“I know, Jaim,” you whisper.

“No. I mean it. Always meant to say something, but I figured we’d end up together eventually. All the times I showed up at your door, even as kids, I wanted to tell you. I was too fucking scared you didn’t feel the same way, but I don’t give a shit anymore. Life’s short. I need you to know.”

You brush a strand of hair out of his eyes. “You really think I’d let you in my bed if I didn’t love you?”

Jamie snuggles closer to you and you’re going to have a lot of things to talk about. For now, though, you’re going to get some fucking sleep.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Shadows Entwined: Part 3

BatmanVsTmnt!Leonardo x sidekick!reader

Part 1 Part 2 / Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Bonus (18+)

In which Leonardo and (H/N) meet again.

-------------------------------------

A/N: Just a friendly reminder, that the Robin in Batman Vs TMNT is Damian Wayne. The son of Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul. Aka, Ra’s al Ghul’s grandson. That little dude is trained to kill.

Warnings: Spelling, talk of breaking bones, only slight research on Damian Wayne, long af today.

The reader and the turtles are 19.

—--------------------------------------

When Donnie said he had an idea, Leonardo didn’t expect to involve an underwater cave network that Gotham City somehow had been hiding. Michelangelo was right, this city was bonkers, in more was than Leo ever had imagined.

Leo, Mikey and Raph followed Donnie through the never ending cave system, before finally breaking the water surface, in a lit tunnel. Leo’s first thought was wondering if Batman and his sidekick ever made use of these tunnels. How often did she wonder about these waters, if ever? It was a strange thought and Leo knew it, but somehow, everything he had seen along the way, had reminded him of her.

“Look”, Raph spoke up, breaking the silence and thoughts running through Leo’s head. “I love being an amphibian as much as the next guy-”.

“Amphibious”, Donnie corrected. “We’re still reptiles”.

“Yeah, thanks for that, but you sure this cave leads anywhere?”

“Glad you asked! I am sure actually”, Donnie started explaining. “I made a database of every reported Batman sighting, and ran them through an algorithm that-”.

“Donnie”. Leo placed a hand on his younger brother’s shoulder. "Nobody cares. Where are you taking us?” Leo tried to sound, well, at least a little happy, even though a little bundle of something was building up inside of him. Nervousness? Anxiety? Couldn’t be. Why would he be nervous or anxious?

“The answer should be right through…” Donnie turned and continued in the direction they had been walking in, only to be met by a big opening in the caves. To say that what they discovered was shocking, would be an understatement. A big open cave with what looked like a taxidermy dinosaur, several glass display cases with Batman costumes, and a giant coin among other things.

“Ta-da!”, Donnie stated with his arms out. “The… Bat… Man… Cave… Huh?”

“This is pretty cool”, Leo admitted. Why did he feel so small all of sudden?

“Pretty cool?!” Mikey already looked like a child that had had too much sugar. “This is amazing! I don’t know what to put my grabby paws on first!”

As Mikey started running around, screaming like a child, Leo casted a glance around the cave. All he was Batman but no… her. Not her in person, nor anything that indicated you spend time here. Was it wrong that Leo had kind of hoped you’d be there? That when he and his brothers emerged from the water, you would be there, ready for another round? It was because he wanted to beat you. Or that was at least what he told himself. It wasn’t in line with how he saw himself, but he would much rather admit to wanting revenge, so he didn’t have to admit to anything else. Like how he hoped you would comment his eyes again. Not that he would admit it, but the thought of you being that close to him again, made tingles erupt in his stomach.

For a second Leo was scared that he was the one that began to chur at the thought of you, only to realize it was Donatello, who had gotten his eyes on a big computer.

“I don’t see any sign that the Shredder, nor the Foot Clan have been here”, Leo said, desperately trying to distract himself from the thought of you.

“Yeah. And I just see the signs of a dude with too much time and way too much money on his hands”, Raph said, looking skeptically at the Batman costumes.

“Most of these files are encrypted too heavily”, sounded Donnie’s voice from in front of the big computer. “But it looks to me like Batman has been tracking the laboratory break ins, like he’s been looking for the Foot’s next move! Same as us!”

“Hey guys! Check it out!” All three brothers turned, in fear of what Mikey had gotten himself into now. They found Mikey, sitting on top of the taxidermy t-rex, dressed in a Batman cape. “I’m Batman! And I’m riding a t-rex! I’ve never been so happy in my entire life!”

Leo’s first thought was to look around, slightly in fear of what you would think, if you found his little brother like that. “Mikey! Get down!”

“Nah man, I live up here now!”

“You should listen to him”.

Mikey turned to look at the source of this new voice, only to be met by a figure in the shadows right behind him. It was a boy. Not a very old one. Dressed in red, black, yellow and green, his eyes had a look that could kill. Yet Mikey didn’t find the child threatening in any way. Instead he turned his head to the side and let out an audible, “aww!”

The young boy sprung at Mikey, causing the two of them to fall off the t-rex and land on the ground, with Mikey’s back against the stone. Mikey held the boy above him, trying his best to hold his small hands away from his face.

“Take that mask off! Now!”, the boy yelled through gritted teeth, while Mikey was struggling to keep the mask on.

“Help!”, Mikey yelled out. “A tiny dude is like, totally trying to kill me!”

All brothers rushed to help Mikey, as the young boy pulled the mask and cap off of Mikey before jumping back, greeting distance between the two. Leo cursed himself, as his first thoughts were; did you know this kid? Did he know you?

“What are you, like five?”, Donnie asked, taken aback by the young boy in front of him.

“How did you get in here?!”, the boy asked, before jumping over Donatello, taking his bow staff and hitting him in the back of his head with it.

Leo stepped forwards with his hands held up. “Hey little guy. We didn’t come here to fight”. But Leo should have known better. Just like you, this little guy knew when to take advantage of an opening. Using Donatello’s bow staff, he hit the side of both of Leo’s knees, making them crack in a horrible way. “Jes!”, Leo yelled out, falling to the ground. At least you didn’t try to break his legs. Leo would much rather have fought against you, and not this little demon of a child.

All four of the turtle brothers were taken aback by the boy's fighting skills. Leo’s knees were aching, Donnie’s head was hurting, and Raph’s arms would soon form black marks. And the fight hadn't even been five minutes. It ended when Mikey yelled “sneak attack”, before tackling the boy, causing them to tumble around, ending with Mikey on top of the boy, retracted into his shell. The boy screamed all sorts of things out of anger, including how he would have their heads. Leo found the scene strange, just like all the other things he had seen in Gotham. Yet, there was something strangely wholesome about it. Almost domestic. A young boy being sat upon, by what felt like a teasing older brother.

Leo almost had to shake those thoughts out of his head. This wasn’t wholesome nor domestic. They were in Batman’s home (Leo wouldn’t point fingers. He and his family called the sewers home), and this little gremlin might have known something they didn’t.

“Let’s just try and reason with him, before-”. The sound of a car engine cut Leo off mid sentence. “...that”. He already had a suspicion of who it might be.

The Batmobil drove into the cave at full speed, before Batman jumped out of it, landing in front of them with this strong stare, followed by you and Batgirl. Leo had not expected his stomach to jump at the sight of you. Neither had you expected the sight of the blue turtle to make your stomach drop. Maybe it was the conversation with Batman and Batgirl, that now caused the fast heartbeat in your chest, at the sight of the turtle. Or maybe it was the sight of one of them sitting on your little brother, that caused you to clench your fists.

“Get off Robin”. He narrowed his eyes. “Now!”

The orange turtle got off of your brother, and turned to try and help him. Robin, as proud as he was sometimes, refused the turtle’s help, pulling his arm away.

“How did you get into this cave?” You unclenched your fist at the sound of Batman’s voice. Most people would find his tone scary, fearing the angry outburst that would never come. But to you and your bat family, it was a comfort. Batman cared about you, Robin, Batgirl and all of those that came before, and that meant he was willing to protect all of you from any danger. Especially strange turtles that have made it into the Batcave.

Leo took notice of your unclenching fists, and your position just behind. Covered enough to be protected, yet open enough to jump in if needed. Robin, found his place beside Batman, close enough for you to put a protective hand on his shoulder. That weird domestic picture formed in Leo’s head once more.

“Oh, well”, Donnie started. “There weren’t many security measures in the northern tunnel. We had to swim for a bit, but…” Donnie stopped as Batman frowned his brows. “I’m realizing you actually don’t want constructive criticism right now”, Donnie said, slowly pulling his head back into his shell.

“What I want are answers”, Batman said, eyes unmoving as he stared the turtles down.

“Look”. Leo stepped forward, causing you to tighten your grip on Robin’s shoulder, just a bit. But it was enough for Robin to notice, making him shoot you a questioning glare. “We’re not here to fight. My name is Leonardo”. Your grip softened on Robin’s shoulder, causing him to look at you in even more confusion. He knew you were a more expressive type than he and his father, and the sight of four mutant turtles in the Batcave might have shocked you, but so many reactions at once were not common. Not even for you.

Leonardo continued. “These are my brothers. Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo”. The orange turtle started waving at the mention of his name.

“Seriously?”, Batgirl asked, showing more amusement than the rest of the bat family.

“Our father was really into renaissance painters”, Donatello clarified.

“And he’s a rat!”, Michelangelo added.

Robin turned his head towards you. “Did… Did he just say a rat?”, he asked in a hushed tone.

“He did”, you nodded.

Leonardo had to breathe for a moment, after hearing your voice, before continuing. “We’re not your enemy. We came to stop Shredder and the Footclan. Honestly, we thought you might be Shredder’s new partner”.

Robin turned to you once more. “Foot?” You shrugged.

“Shredder”, Batman repeated. “So that’s his name... I’ve heard of a Footclan, but I thought they went extinct ages ago”.

“They’re ninja”, Raphael said. “You know, sneaky”. He moved his hands up in front of his face, as if he was hiding behind them.

“Sooooo…”. Robin moved from your protective hand and straight to the side of Batman. “Are we not going to beat up these green losers?”

Batman looked down towards his son. “It’s not looking like it, no”.

Robin sighed out loud, and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. Leo saw as you crossed your arms, and moved all your weight to your left leg, coming ever so slightly out from Batman’s protection.

“Then I may as well tell you that I know exactly who the Shredder and the Foot are working with”, your brother said, letting the small anger building inside of him overshadow his slight disappointment. And when you heard him say the name of his grandfather, you very well understood that anger.

—

“They are strange”, Robin told you, watching as Batman and Batgirl was talking to the turtles.

“They are indeed strange”, you agreed, fidgeting with whatever gadget you had in your hand, fighting the urge to look up. Because if you looked up, you would look at him. And if you looked at him, he would notice. And if he would notice, then so would Batman, and so would Robin, and Batgirl, and all of Leonardo’s brothers… Better just to focus on… what it was you had in your hand…

“I tried to break the blue one’s legs with the purple’s bow staff”, Robin said, his eyes shining proud. You finally dared to look in the direction of Leonardo, focusing on his legs. You couldn’t see any signs of injury.

“You should have aimed for the knee caps”, you told him, eyes still on the knees of the turtles.

“I did!”, Robin exclaimed, laying flat against the table. “And he did fall! But they didn’t break!”

You took a chance and looked at Leonardo’s face, studying for any signs of discomfort. None. None at all.

That should have been it. You should have looked away, so you could concentrate on that thing you had in your hand. But you didn’t. Your eyes stayed on Leonardo’s face. He was listening to something Batman told him. Most likely information about Ra's al Ghul. He looked very concentrated, with his brows frowning and his arms crossed. You noted that he was almost as stoic as Batman. You haven’t seen him smile a single time. No smiles when he fought the Penguin, no smiles in the alley, and no smiles in the Batcave. The only time you had seen him other than frowning, was when you told him he had pretty eyes.

Robin noticed your sudden silence, and looked at you in confusion. His sister never left him unanswered. She would never let an opportunity to tease him fly. But then he noticed how you had stopped fumbling with your glove, and now sat staring. Confused he looked from you, to what your eyes had been caught by.

Leonardo?

Robin looked back and forth a few times, before it finally clicked for him. He slammed his hand flat against the table, causing you to yelp and stare at your shocked little brother.

“Are you crushing on a turtle?!”

You slapped your hand against his mouth so fast, that the young Robin could only scream and fight. Confused by the sudden commotion, all of them turned to look at you.

“What did he say?”, Mikey asked, obviously intreacted

“Uh”, you said in a slight panic, trying to hold Robin still as he was lashing out against you. “He asked where Alfred was! He’s so hungry he could eat a turtle!” Batman started rubbing the bridge of his nose.

You were going to beat Damian so hard the moment Bruce looked away!

[thepradapariah]

Your Rising Sign ✨. The Male Gaze 👀. & Female Character Movie/TV Tropes 📺.

Are you the manic pixie dream girl or the femme fatale?!

Astro Observations 🪐

Using Movies & TV shows, I’ll be talking about observations I’ve made about rising signs! This is just my opinion! You are more than welcome to share your thoughts in the comment section!

(If you know your sidereal Rising Sign Naksaktra EVEN BETTER!)

Disclaimer:

BARE WITH ME HERE!!! This post is written in a VERY generalized way. I am not trying to be exclusionary at all! I want this to be a fun post about movies & astrology. Please be creative with your pronouns if needed! This post is for anyone who wants to read it, no matter your gender or preference, but it will be written in traditional cis-gender fashion, BUT!!!!! I have tried to incorporate all female identifying communities within the examples! I hope there is something for everyone :)

Before we begin:

Definitions:

✨What is the Male Gaze?

“In feminist theory, the male gaze is the act of depicting women and the world, in the visual arts and in literature, from a masculine, heterosexual perspective that presents and represents women as sexual objects for the pleasure of the heterosexual male viewer. In the visual and aesthetic presentations of narrative cinema, the male gaze has three perspectives: (i) that of the man behind the camera, (ii) that of the male characters within the film's cinematic representations; and (iii) that of the spectator gazing at the image.” — Wikipedia

✨What is a Character trope?

“A trope is an idea, pattern or motif that appears often enough in a particular art form that consumers of that art form begin to form particular associations with that idea.” - The Novel Factory

Introduction:

Men tend to be VERY simple creatures. Yes, they may present themselves as the broody artist w a checkered past or a sci-fi-nerdy-glasses-wearing-type fellow who LOVES Star Wars & Comic-Con. But believe it not, both these men have something in common…Their simplicity. Most men see life in black & white. They tend to take things at face value & rarely feel the need to dig deeper into something unless they are called to. This is not to over generalize (or perhaps that’s exactly what this is) but to draw attention to the straight forward attitude men usually have towards life. (I blame this on their primal hunter/gathering nature, but that’s another topic for another day). Men tend to prefer life & communication to be clear & concise, whereas woman tend to be far more “colorful” in our approach. We don’t spare any details when talking w our girlfriends about the latest gossip as if it’s our life’s duty, where men can sit in silence, playing video games & be perfectly content. In fact, I learned in sociology, that men can actually have ZERO brain activity happening at times (besides the automatic stuff, like breathing lol). Meaning— men can actually sit & think about nothing. Women, not so much, we are constantly stimulated, thinking & planning ahead. Because of this cosmically cerebral mis-match, the way men & woman tend to view each other can be a point of contention. Woman tend to over complicate men & men tend to over simplify woman. Thus giving us the ongoing battle of real complex female characters VS. the over simplified version of them through the Male Gaze. Do men think woman just sit around playing in make-up & fashion, bursting out into random tears & having pillow fights all day? If you ask Hollywood— probably. In this post, we will be specifically looking at how men over simplify woman using Movie/TV tropes & comparing them to the display of our rising sign, &/or if you know it, your rising Nakshatra.

You should know, that before I got into tarot & astrology, I graduated from the film school at New York University. So I am WELL AWARE of the film/tv writing process & thought this would be a cool way to combine my education of films & my love for astrology to teach & critique how woman tend to be represented in Cinema & Television— and in return, real life. (Art meets Life, amiright?)

There has been a discourse in the film & tv world about how woman are represented through the male gaze. I’m sure you’ve heard of the “manic pixie dream girl” trope over saturating the market right now. (Don’t worry, we will get into this later). Woman feel as if these are shallow representations of the feminine experience. While I agree with this statement, usually we don’t see very fleshed out, complex & interesting woman from male writers. (*cough cough* Euphoria Season 2.) I’m arguing here that until we form deep & intimate connections with men, they tend to see us, woman, as these movie tropes, IRL (in real life). If you don’t understand what I’m saying, hang in there w me.

Because men tend to be simple & take things at face value, they can miss out on the nuances of the woman they are with. How many times have we seen in movies a wife gets a haircut & the husband doesn’t notice? See, no eye for detail, or subtlety. Those small details that make us unique from other woman tends to go over their heads from time to time. And in a day in age where woman are generalized more on a mass scale through social media, it’s easy for men to get carried away thinking woman are all the same or simply, just not that complicated. This isn’t a bad thing, per say, this is just the default until we are able to build a lasting, deep connection between masculine & feminine energy.

In this post, we are going to be breaking down this “conundrum” by RISING SIGNS/1H/Nakshatras. Why? Because the rising sign is how you are seen in the world. The first house rules the body, & what people project on to you as well as what you project onto other people. (The beauty of the 1H/7H axis…more about this later) As a sidereal astrology girly, I think the first house/Rising Sign Nakshatra rules the personality more so than the sun & moon sign. After all, it is called “person”-ality, & the 1H is the house of person, whereas the 7H is the house of partner.

✨Why Does this Matter?

Well first off, it matters how much you want it to matter. This post is for inspiring self expression. By seeing how you effortlessly come across through the male gaze, you may be able to craft your own unique persona or perfect one of these tropes. I am not writing this post because you have to see yourself the way men see you or over simplify yourself while getting to know someone, I’m writing this to give you some indication of HOW men see you so you can put on a SHOW! I’m hoping this gives you the encouragement to take your narrative into your own hands & present your femininity in a way that’s true & authentic to you. I am an absolute FAN of these female tropes. Movies & tv shows have helped me curate the kind of woman I want to come across as. Nothing like seeing a great character on TV that you want to emulate. We all have the ability to play pretend. Look at using the male gaze as a game of dress-up. You can ALWAYS play the part in the ever going Hollywood Film— Your Life.

✨What is the First House?

The first house is the house of first impressions— the cover of the book men are judging.

Because your first house is home to your rising sign, to put it simply, the first house is how you come off to others at first glance. Even though I’m sure you’re a beautiful, complex & intriguing creature, for the sake of this article, we are looking at the first house through a “shallow” perspective. You may feel as if these descriptions don’t fit you at all, in fact, you may feel like this is the total opposite of who you actually are! (Blame the contradiction of 1H/7H axis for this one) However it’s not about how you feel, it’s about how you come across…

Read this article as if you are your crush meeting you for the first time. (Read that again, very meta, I know). The Male Gaze in movies/tv has been argued to be lazy & uninspired writing. I personally think that’s just the male gaze in general. I kid, I kid. Lol. But seriously…they are very simple minded, so we can use this to our advantage to give some of the best performances of our lives!

***If you are reading for your Sidereal Vedic Rising (which is HIGHLY suggest), please look up the degree, so you can read for the specific Nakshatra)

(If you are a man reading this, I don’t mean to drag you. We all know the childhood fact, Men are from Mars & Woman are from Venus. Lol.)

Through the Male Gaze, we will be breaking down how you come off through your rising sign & placements as Classic Movie & TV Character Tropes.

How to Read:

✨IF YOU KNOW YOUR SIDEREAL VEDIC RISING NAKSHATRA: Read that first! That will be the most specific to the trope. (I didn’t double dip, each nakshatra is only used ONCE)

______________

✨If you DON’T know your Sidereal Rising Nakshatra & your reading as a Western/Tropical Girlie———>

✨You can read for the sign in your first house (your rising sign) &/or planets placed in your FIRST OR SEVENTH HOUSE!

✨7H placements cast a direct aspect on your 1H, so if your rising sign doesn’t resonate, check your 7H placements! They have a major influence as well!

✨If you have multiple planets in your 1H &/or 7H, the planet with the LOWEST degree is the dominant planet. Ex: If you have Saturn at 26 degrees and Venus at 2 degrees, you would read the Venus tropes.

✨Unlike men, I’m giving you some flexibility (Lol) Your placements may overlap. For example, if you’re a Pisces Rising— read the blurbs for Manic Pixie Dream Girl & Girl Next Door. One description will probably fit better than the others, but you got options! If you know your sidereal chart for your rising Nakshatra, you’ll get

***There is NO direct correlation between the signs & Naks picked, this is a matter of opinion, so I put what I felt worked!***

Please please please keep in mind, movies & tv characters are larger than life, so please have fun with this post!!! This is over the top!! If you can imagine that you were an old Hollywood glamour queen or a modern cinema starlit, this would be your starring role!!!

⚠️ I do not want to offend ANYONE by using traditional gender pronouns. I am a cis-gender heterosexual female, so I am writing from the perspective I know best. I am NOT trying to say this is the only perspective that matters. I have included cis-woman, trans women & lesbians as examples in this post. Please feel free to share any insights you have, no matter the gender, non-gender or perspective! I’m truly open & supportive. This is not an exclusionary post.

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!!!! I am using Movies & Television shows as examples, so be prepared!

⚠️ Of course, special shout-out to my little sister! Without her, none of this would be possible!!

On with the Show! 🌹

💋 Manic Pixie Dream Girl

Nakshatras: Ardra, Punarvasu, Swati, Vishika, Mula

Zodiac: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces (All Mutable Rising Signs) & Aquarius

Planets: Neptune, Mercury, Jupiter (1st or 7th House, lowest degree)

Tarot Card: Princess of Cups (Earth & Water)

✨Definition

“[The Manic Pixie Dream Girl] exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures… [The MPDG] seems to exist only to provide spiritual or mystical help to the protagonist. The MPDG has no discernible inner life. Instead, her central purpose is to provide the protagonist with important life lessons. “

-Wikipedia (Manic Pixie Dream Girl was coined by Nathan Rabin)

✨The Manic Pixie Dream Girl is arguably THEE female movie trope of the last 40 years in pop culture. As movies moved away from the Bombshell aesthetic of the 1950’s, most notably, Marilyn Monroe; Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s introduced a new kind of woman. (Even her last name, go-lighly is a play on her attitude towards the world) A woman who throws caution to the wind & isn’t afraid to take risk. In fact, this woman LIVES to take risk! She flutters in & flutters out of the Male gaze, usually chasing some wild dream of being a fashion designer, writer, actress ect, OR is a notch above (or under, depending on how you look at it) an aimless sexy hobo. Regardless of her career ambitions, she’s always as creative as she is elusive— yet somehow, is always able to drop into the male’s life right in the knick of time, whisking the male away on some fever-dream like adventures. Encountering the Manic Pixie Dream Girl almost ALWAYS accompanies a spiritual Awakening for our male protagonist. Upon meeting this woman, usually in some weird, “only happens once in a life-time” way, his world gets thrown into a chaotic flurry. Everything he thought he knew he now knows he never knew anything about it at all. He questions life, he questions reason, he question society, capitalism, the “American Dream”, etc. This is BEST demonstrated by Marla (Helena Bonham Carter) in Fight Club, directed by David Fincher. (If you haven’t seen this movie, you MUST (18+), Brad Pitt is at PEAK sexiness…s/o to the Female Gaze lol) Fight Club is a wicked tale of a man fighting himself, society & his own psyche after meeting a woman who mirrored him so closely, it triggered a masculinity awakening. This is the function of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. She is so free, so unbound, so fluid, & feminine, she helps to bring to life the masculine side of a man by reflecting his own inner chaos back to him.

As a Ardra, Punarvasu, Swati, Vishika, Mula Rising or Mutable Rising Sign: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, or Pisces, this could be one of the ways you appear through the male gaze. Because your temperament & view of life can be so changeable, you can come across as a free-spirit, a loss soul, or a wonderer. Perhaps you are, & perhaps you aren’t, but as quickly as you change a hairstyle, you change your goals in life. The male feels as if he needs to tame you, give you structure, security or direction OR he feels like he wants to join you! Break away from the daily grind of life, break societies expectations of him & rendezvous w you, eating cereal, painting & watching cartoons all day. You can represent a child-like wonder and be the embodiment of the “wild-side” of life! As the mutable rising signs of the Zodiac, you tend to be moody & unpredictable. Through the Male Gaze, men may find it hard to connect with you because you always seem “elsewhere”. You always seem a little dazed, perhaps a little confused, but certainly “pixie” like in your approach to life. To the right male, you are fascinating, like a Jackson Pollock painting (the splatter paint dude) in the works— each stroke improvised, never knowing where the paint is going to land, but intrigued more by your process than the final product.

✨Music:

Female Gaze: Like a Bird- Nelly Furtado

Male Gaze: Sex And Candy- Marcy Playground

✨Examples

Holly Golightly- Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Jules- Euphoria

Summer- 500 Days of summer

Robyn Brooks- High Fidelity

Helena- Fight Club

Cat- Victorious

Issa- Insecure

Raven- That’s So Raven

Bubbles- Powerpuff Girls

Emily- Emily in Paris

Sally Bowles- Cabaret

💋Ice Queen

Nakshatras: Jyestha, Dhanishta, Uttara Bhadrapada

Zodiacs: Aquarius, Libra, Cancer, Scorpio

Planets: Saturn, Uranus, Moon, Venus

Tarot Card: Queen of Swords (Water & Air)

✨Defintion:

“…Cool, reserved, and giving nothing away. She may want love as ardently as anyone, but she masks her soft heart behind a wall of ice. It is up to someone else, typically her Love Interest, to soften her cold demeanor and win her love.

The Ice Queen is considered dangerous to love because she will not (or cannot) love back. She's not much for friendship either, preferring to be alone.” tvtropes .org

✨The Ice Queen is cold & unforgiving. She IS the resting bitch face personified, unimpressed & unfazed by those around her. Seemingly aloof, the male in the story is always trying to breakthrough her tough and unbothered exterior. Her coldness posses a real challenge to anyone who is interested in her romantically. She’s just a bitch. And a bad one at that! The Ice Queen is stern in her appearance & her approach to life. Usually divorced, or widowed, but doesn’t have to be, she walks as if she carries the weight on the world of her shoulder. She’s been abandoned by happiness in life, but she’s so regal, no one knows how deep her scars cut. She can resemble the Boss Bitch/Diva trope, because she normally holds a lot of power, but she carries a certain detachedness that is unique to this trope. She is NOTHING nice. The Ice Queen is hard to please & has no issues letting people know she’s unsatisfied. The Male wants to “warm her up”, breakthrough her cold exterior & get to know why she is so damn mean! In some cases he succeeds, in others he realized she’s just a mean & shallow as he originally thought. Elvira Hancock in Scarface is the prototype for this feminine character trope. Not only is her nose typically buried nose deep in snow (if you get it, you get it), she’s. a. straight. cold-hearted. biotch. She’s unbelievably gorgeous & unapproachable, & this is exactly what draws the male protagonist in to her. But even after the male “wins her over”, she was never satisfied. An Ice Queen to her CORE, she was never one to be defrosted. Defamed? Maybe…Defrosted…never.

It’s worth noting that the Ice Queen is usually HIGHLY fashionable. Not the cheap stuff either— the Ice Queen is a Queen none the less. She’s not the T-shirt & jeans girl next door, or the purple hairdo manic pixie…she’s class & sophistication. First rule, you gotta be hot to be so cold.

If you are a Jyestha, Dhanishta, Uttara Bhadrapada Rising or an Aquarius, Libra or Cancer Rising, or have Saturn, Uranus, the Moon, or Venus aspecting your first house, you may find that you come across as the Ice Queen through the male gaze. You carry a certain reserved & detached aura upon first meeting someone. Rarely would you put all your cards on the table. There is also a certain maturity that you carry with you when you walk into a room. Men will assume “oh, this girl, she’s been through some stuff”. You may find that you are somewhat withdrawn in social situations, although people may be very drawn to you. You don’t necessarily care about being liked, but you certainly care about being respected. You come off as if you don’t tolerate any kind of messiness. Men may think you play hard to get or that you just think you’re better than the average. Whatever! You don’t care what they think. You’re too busy reading or being an intellectual (whatever that means lol…this is the male gaze we are talking about). Again, to the right egotistical man who believes he can “warm you up”, you are a welcomed and ongoing challenge. The Ice Queen is the female trope of male dissatisfaction. When a Male encounters the Ice Queen in cinema, she tend to represent a part of the male that will NEVER be pleased, content or accepted. Normally the man after this cold woman’s stone-cold heart is trying to prove his worth to the world around him, & the Ice Queen serves as the perfect trophy. If he can impress her/have her, he can impress anyone & have the World! The Ice Queen is the ultimate prize for the male protagonist w ego/self-esteem issues. Nothing humbles a man quite like a cold-hearted bitch. You may find in your dating life, Male’s feel the need to impress you for no good reason..or maybe you enjoy watching men walk on their heads for a date w you! Either way, as the Ice Queen female trope you carry a certain air about you that commands attention & respect. You carry authority over yourself & those around you. The male gaze says although your intimidating, your worth a try to shut down all the haters, even if you’re hater number 1!

✨Music:

Female Gaze: Needed Me- Rihanna

Male Gaze: Roses- OutKast, Cooler than Me- Mike Posner

✨Examples

Elvira Hancock-Scarface

Camille- The Sapranos

Lady Mae Greenleaf- Greenleaf

Elsa- Frozen

Jade- Victorious

Elekta Evangelista- Pose

Claire- House of Cards

Molly- Insecure

Lucille- Arrested Development

Betty Draper- Mad Men

Mother Shannon, House of Balenciaga- Legendary

Cersei Lannister- Game of Thrones

Dominique La Rue- Harlem Nights

Gru’s Mom- Despicable Me

💋Femme Fatale

Nakshatras: Ashwini, Bharani, Ashlesha, Purva Bhadrapada, Shatabisha

Zodiacs: Aries, Scorpio, Cancer

Planets: Mars, Pluto

Tarot Card: Queen of Wands (Fire & Water)

✨Definition

“A femme fatale,sometimes called a maneater or vamp, is a stock character of a mysterious, beautiful, and seductive woman whose charms ensnare her lovers, often leading them into compromising, deadly traps. She is an archetype of literature and art. Her ability to enchant, entice and hypnotize her victim with a spell was in the earliest stories seen as verging on supernatural; hence, the femme fatale today is still often described as having a power akin to an enchantress, seductress, witch, having power over men. Femmes fatales are typically villainous, or at least morally ambiguous, and always associated with a sense of mystification, and unease.”

-Wikipedia

✨The Femme Fatale is arguably the most ICONIC of the female movie tropes. A popular trope of Film Noir “movement” in the late 1940s, early 1950s, the Femme Fatale is a sexual seductress with a naughty side. Enchanting as she is dangerous, the male gaze ogles her, even though it may cost him his life— or at least his job & social standing. Medusa is one of the best representations of this trope. If a man locks eyes w her, he’s as good as dead— yet, time & time again, men tried to defeat her, only to meet a tragic end. As time progressed, the story of the woman who turns men to stone (definitely a sexual innuendo if you ask me) found new life in television & film. The Femme Fatale is a beautiful disaster just waiting to happen. She’s wild, like the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, but she has a certain knack for danger and crime. She lures the male in & traps him like a spider in her web. The male is usually a little weary of the woman, but is overcome w her grace & charm, or he’s truly an unsuspecting victim who gets completely taken advantage of an entangled in whatever mess she’s made for herself. One way or the other, the male often ends up in a position of life & death after lusting after this dark & intriguing beauty. The film, Carmen Jones, starring Dorthy Dandridge, is a classic tale of a woman w loose morals who ends up (spoiler alert) dead. Unlike most of the other female tropes, the femme fatale almost always suffers consequences for her actions. She either ends up in jail, or dead, or kills her lover, or he ends up in jail, or her lover ends up dead. Tragic, I know. Again, think of Medusa…she killed everything she laid her eye on, & then ultimately had to be killed. (RIP Medusa, you were a baddie). No one gets out scotch free when dealing w this character. The femme fatale is mysterious, almost like a mythical creature or an enchantress, & the male is instantly drawn into her, whether they exchange words in a bar, or she simply flicks her cigarette & he rushes to relight it. One thing is for sure, she lives by her own rules & is bound by nothing…not the law or death itself. She’s usually a criminal minded free-spirit, manipulating her way through life to survive.

If you are an Ashwini, Bharani, Ashlesha, Purva Bhadrapada Rising Or an Aries, Scorpio, or Cancer Rising, or you have Pluto or Mars aspecting your 1H, you may come off as the femme fatale through the male gaze. Your dark, broody & secretive nature is fascinating to them, and they want to join you on a passionate journey through time & space or save you from whatever sticky situation you may have put yourself in. They want to play detective & you are the perfect case to crack. When the femme fatale enters the male’s life, she instantly posses a threat to his usually naive understanding of the world. She’s not your typical housewife— far from it. She challenges the traditional social construct of beauty & submission. Normally from a troubled/difficult past past, the femme fatale will only submit to law & death, she’s been forced to learn the ugly sides of life & uses them to her advantage. You may find that male’s tend to want to dominate you or control your direction in life in relationships, but you are REPULSED by this notion. This trope teaches men (and woman sadly), that freedom comes w a cost. Hopefully it’s not your life, but if it is, you sure make a sexy corpse!

✨Music:

Female Gaze: Wild side- Normani

Male Gaze: Dirty Diana -Michael Jackson

✨Examples

Filomena (Sophia Lauren)- Marriage Italian Style

Cat Woman- Batman

Carmen- Carmen Jones

Dr. Frank-N-Furter (played by the wonderful Lavern Cox)- The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Jennifer- Jennifer’s Body

Gilda (Rita Hayworth)- Gilda

Amy Dunne- Gone Girl

Laura Biel- 365 Days

Alex Vause- Orange Is the New Black

💋Queen Bee/Mean Girl

Nakshatras: Krittika, Purva Phalguni, Chitra, Purva Ashadha

Zodiacs: Libra, Capricorn, Aries, Leo, Taurus & Gemini

Planets: Venus, Mars, Sun, Mercury

Tarot Card: Princess of Swords (Earth & Fire)

“The Mean Girl trope had us all believe that the dark side to womanhood is catty, conniving competitiveness.”

The swaddle.com

“Mean girls are often overly concerned with appearance. They may place a high priority on their clothing, their make-up, and even their weight. Likewise, they may zero in on these things in others, pointing out everything from acne and weight gain to clothing choices and hairstyles.”

-theteenmagazine.com

✨Somewhere between The Ice Queen and The Diva, there lies a sweet sour sweet CLASSIC female trope that always leaves the girls GAGGING in disbelief, like “did she just say that?!!” The Queen Bee/Mean Girl trope has her fair share of representation in film & TV, particularly in teen dramas, but she is NOT limited to high school. The Queen Bee is in charge, she knows what she wants, she knows how she likes it & she has ZERO problem letting her loyal subject know. Sometimes, she is portrayed w a deep deep deep DEEP down heart of hold, but most of the time, she’s just a straight biotch from beginning to end. You DON’T want to cross her, or you just might end-up on her ever growing hit-list. If there is one thing Ms. Mean Girl can do..it’s hold a grudge. As stated above, the Queen Bee/Mean girl trope serves the stereotype of the cattiness & competitiveness of femininity. And it is a fact that in the wild, the female animals are usually far more aggressive than their male counterparts. (Think Lion, or a Mama Bear). Boys may have their sports, but lady’s have their looks & they will secure that W come hell or high water all the way to Prom Queen.

If you are a Krittika, Purva Phalguni, Chitra, Purva Ashadha Rising or Libra, Taurus, Aries, Leo or Gemini Rising, OR if you have Venus, Mars or the Sun aspecting your 1H/7H, you may come off as the typical Mean Girl Trope through the Male Gaze. You’re aloof, yet decisive about the things you truly care about— like— “Wednesdays, we wear pink”. You keep people on the tip of their toes with witty banter & effortless conversation. If they don’t know the latest trends, the current celebrity gossip or who dumped whom…well, you’re just not interested in what they have to say, so why bother? You can play the villain easily & have no problem being unliked as long as you are respected. You are a social butterfly, a socialite, if you will. You know how to make the streets talk with admiration & envy. People may be afraid that they can’t meet your standards, but good, they probably can’t. NO UGLY FRIENDS is the motto— people may think you actually hold try-outs for who is allowed to sit with you at the table. Through it all, you know how to take control & lead— this energy oozes from you as people seem to just step aside as you sashay down the halls. Always up on the latest fashion, you always come w your A-game and your enemies will NEVER catch you slipping. There is a beautiful confidence that you exude because you know you are the one and only. People may be extremely intimidated by you, but the real ones will bow at your feet.

The shadow side of this trope is the shadiness. Queen Bees/Mean girls are known for being just that—MEAN. People may assume that you are quite backstabby & mischievous. YOU, of all the movie tropes, don’t mind playing

d-i-r-t-y! People perceive you as never wanting to let go of that crown & you’ll do whatever it takes to keep the social order in tact. Think “Status-Quo” High School Musical w Sharpay, the ULTIMATE representation of this trope, screaming from the top of the cafeteria! (THIS IS NOT WHAT SHE WANTS! THIS IS NOT WHAT SHE PLANNED!!!!!) She didn’t care who she had to cut, scheme, lie, trick, plot & sabotage to make SURE Ms. Gabriella did not get the spotlight w her man, Troy. Think of the lengths you’ll go to to get what you want. You come off as spicy, cunt-y (in the best way), & beautiful. You are a glamour girl & never afraid to throw some shade here & there, making you the ultimate reigning Queen Bee!

✨Music

Female Gaze: Feeling Myself- Nicki Minaj

Male Gaze: Mad at myself- Issues

✨Examples

Maddie- Euphoria

Regina George- Mean Girls

CoCo- Dear White People

Lulu- Pose

Toni- Girlfriends

Emma Roberts in Coven & Scream Queens

Blair- Gossip Girl

Cheryl Blossom- Riverdale

Santana- Glee (Rest in Peace)

Buttercup- Powerpuff Girls

Alison DiLaurentis- Pretty Little Liars

Sharpay- High School Musical

The Heathers

Penelope- My Dog (LOVE HER, but she’s such a Bitch—a bad one though lol)

💋Ingenue/Damsel in Distress

Nakshatras: Mrigashirsa, Rohini, Hasta, Revati

Zodiacs: Cancer, Capricorn, Libra, Aries (All Cardinal Rising Signs) & Pisces, Taurus

Planets: Moon, Venus, Saturn

Tarot Card: Queen of Cups (Water) Libra, Aries

“The ingénue usually has the fawn-eyed innocence of a child but subtle sexual appeal as well.”

“The damsel in distress is a recurring narrative device (or trope) in which one or more men must rescue a woman who has either been kidnapped or placed in general peril. Kinship, love, or lust (or a combination of those) gives the male protagonist the motivation or compulsion to initiate the narrative. The female character herself may be competent, but still finds herself in this type of situation.”

Wikipedia

✨The Ingenue/Damsel in Distress is one of the most recognizable female movie tropes to date. From the tales of The Greeks, to King-Kong, to Broomhilda from Djengo— there is always some damsel…somewhere…that is…in fact…in…distress. The Ingenue is a naive babe, just learning the ins & outs of life. She’s pretty, she’s unassuming & adorably doe-eyed, full of wonder for the life ahead of her— just waiting for a strong man to show her the way! The ingenue is common, but in the best way. She’s not an ice-cold bitch like the Ice Queen or the Queen Bee, but she sits more in her femininity that the Tomboy or the Diva. She’s divine & subtle and a man is always lurking around the corner, waiting to whisk her away from all the evils in the world. If this sounds like a Disney Princess, it’s because it is. Most Disney Princesses would fit into the Ingenue/Damsel in Distress character trope, but just like most of the Princesses, no matter how young & impressionable, the Ingenue is usually the one who makes a way for herself in the end.

If you are a Mrigashirsa, Rohini, Hasta, Revati Rising or a Cardinal rising (Aries, Cancer, Libra Capricorn) or Pisces, the male gaze may perceive you as the Ingenue/Damsel in Distress trope. Your beauty & grace exceed you, & your youth is ever-present. When the male sees you, they just want to protect you & hold you dear. You spark masculinity in those who are attracted to you because you come across so soft & gentle. But don’t get it twisted, you can be a little spicy! You certainly have a little sass to you, but you try not to wear it on your sleeve. You are a true darling to those who are deserving. You serve ultimate demure womanliness & you seem to glide through any room you’re in. Although your impulsiveness & naiveté may land you in some sticky situations, there’s always a lovely leading man just beyond the pines to lead you out of the darkness and into their arms (Awwwwwwwwwww). You may be the type to need help opening the pickle jar, or clumsily fall into some big strong arms— you don’t mind being on the receiving end of affection & people just swoon over you. Unlike the Door Next Door, there can still be an “unapproachability” factor to you. You’re not the girl from down the street, you’re the new girl in town; a little lost, a little curious, but always cute! You may find that men tend to underestimate you & you’re constantly trying to prove yourself. OR you can find yourself in situations where your voice tends to be over powered as you get lost in a sea of toxic masculinity! Either way, you know how to leave a room in awe. You carry just enough mystique & intrigue that male’s fight to know more about you, but yet they just feel as if you’re a naturally good person. You’re coy, but not too coy. You’re shy, but not too shy. You are the perfect “woman”. You may have a past, but your future is always bright! A hero waits around the corner for the perfect time to catch you when you fall or introduce you to a world you didn’t know existed.

As the Ingenue/Damsel in Distress, your energy is POWERFUL, almost as if you’re sexily yelling “Fire! Fire! Save me! Help me!” when you walk into the room. You know how to keep the male gaze & they will break their necks to see you eloquently walk by. Before the reign of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, you were the trope on top— the beautiful default representation of hyper-femininty in the 20s/30s/40s. You set the standards for the early starlets, they were nothing if they weren’t the lovely ingenue!

✨Music

Female Gaze: Bring Me to Life- Evanessance, Pretty When I Cry- Lana Del Ray

Male Gaze: Let Me Love You- Mario

✨Examples

Betty Draper- Mad Men

Celie- The Color Purple

Neytiri- Avatar

Autumn- P-Valley

Daisy- The Great Gatsby

Persephone- The [Abduction] of Persephone

Irene- Drive

Angel Evangelista- Pose

Disney Princesses

Broomhilda- Django Unchained

Piper Chapman- Orange Is the New Black

Mississippi- P-Valley

Penelope- The Odyssey

Satine- Mulan Rouge

💋Girl Next Door/Tomboy

Nakshatras: Anuradha, Uttara Ashadha, Shravana

Planets:Jupiter, Venus, Neptune

Zodiacs: Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces, Taurus, Libra

Tarot Card: Princess of Pentacles (Earth)

“The girl next door is usually from a small town or an un-flashy neighborhood. Her personality tends to be down-to-earth, supportive, and approachable. For both her main boy and her culture at large, the girl next door embodies an idealized, wholesome femininity.”

-the-take.com

✨The Girl Next Door/Tomboy Trope is by far the most realistic & relatable female trope of all. She’s not flashy. She’s not mean. She’s kind & sometimes even “one of the guys”. She gives off an innocence that makes her irresistible to the male gaze because she’s just so darn cool. She’s “not like the other girls”. Although she may prefer a comfy t-shirt & jeans, she’s comfortable in her femininity. She doesn’t try to compete with other woman— even though other woman my try & compete with her. Why? Because she’s usually the girl surrounded by all the guys— not because she flaunts her beauty, but rather because she’s not stuck on herself. She challenges the status quo demonstrating that sexy can be fun, sexy can be sweet & sexy can be “normal”. Zendaya is arguably the IT girl of a generation & she usually plays this type of character. She comes across as someone you can sip cool-aid with after she beats you in a round of basketball! For some, that’s sexier than Marilyn Monroe herself! This is the All-American (no matter the race) beauty that only lives a few doors down. This trope is most likely to be in the “friend-zone”, until one day the male realizes…”OH MY GOSH! SHE HAS BOOBS!”

If you are an Anuradha, Uttara Ashadha, Shravana Rising OR a Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces, Taurus, Libra Rising, you could come off as the Girl Next Door/Tomboy female trope. You’re approachable & not stuck on yourself & that makes you highly desirable through the male gaze. You’re simple & non-demanding like some of your other female counterparts and this makes you a breath of fresh air in a Kardashian fueled instagram dystopia. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure you know how to clean up nicely! When it’s times for you to put on a skirt & heels, you knock ‘em dead. You’re stunning! But you’d much rather lead with personality than looks. You have an effortlessness about you that can’t be obtained by just anyone. At times you may feel a bit awkward about your sexuality, but again, through the right male’s gaze, this is SUCH a turn on. This is an extremely powerful trope because you are realistic. You may have big dreams, but you feel like you come from humble beginnings. You’re authentic to yourself, not to Chanel & Gucci. Sometimes, you may feel overlooked & one-up’d by the “popular girl”, but there is ALWAYS someone who thinks you are the most beautiful girl in the room because you light up the room like no body else & don’t get me started on the way you flip your hair & how it gets the boys overwhelmed. You don’t know you’re beautiful…and that’s….that’s what makes you so beautiful. How lovely!

If you are the Girl Next Door Trope, you don’t have to worry about putting on a show to impress the boysies around you. Just continue to be you’re cool & down to Earth self. Even though it seems like we live in Shallow Land, where everything is based on superficial looks & flawless instagram selfies, you’re super special because you don’t give in. Don’t conform & don’t rush to be the “it” girl. You don’t need the BBL & the thick lashes. (NOTHING IS WRONG W THIS!!! NOTHING~~~) Your natural beauty is more than enough through the Male Gaze!

✨Music

Female Gaze: All You Wanted- Michelle branch

Male Gaze: Hey There Delilah- The Plain White Tees

*sorry I couldn’t link it! Ran out of space!

✨Examples

MJ (Zendaya)- Spider-Man

Zoe- Grownish

Victoria-Victorious

Monica- Love & Basketball

Bella- Twilight

Justice-Poetic Justice

Peggy- Mad Men

Moeisha- Moeisha

Betty Cooper- Riverdale

Blanca Rodriguez- Pose

Apollonia- Purple Reign

Danielle- The Girl Next Door

💋Diva/Boss Bitch

Nakshatras: Pushya, Magha, Uttara Phalguni

Planets: Sun, Saturn, Mars

Zodiacs: Leo, Scorpio, Taurus, Aquarius (All Fixed Rising Signs) & Sagittarius, Capricorn

Tarot Card: Queen of Pentacles (Earth & Water)

“The strong, dark, beautiful woman. She's often a go-getter, chasing stardom, wealth, or just recognition for her talents. If she becomes an Idol, she's not constrained by the pressures of always appearing youthful, innocent, and approachable.

Part of her allure is instead her maturity, either in personality or in sexuality. When she walks in the room she not only turns heads, but she demands respect and won't hesitate to set you straight if she doesn't get it.”

-tvtropes.org

✨The Diva/Boss Bitch Female trope is THEE BADDEST BITCH. She’s worked hard to get where she is & she isn’t going to let some MAN come along and knock her off her thrown. This female trope demands a certain level of respect when she walks into the room— all heads turn because they know she’s the boss, just waiting to give quick & sharp directions. Usually fashionable, because she can AFFORD it (hello!), she knows how to command in any setting while looks good. A trend setter! She may be one of the most intimidating of the female tropes through the Male Gaze, on par with the Ice Queen, because the Diva carries a certain masculine energy. She usually is running things & bossing men around herself. She doesn’t let her sex get in the way of her ambition & talent. This character trope is not afraid to speak her mind because she knows she has just as much right to a seat at the table as anyone. She’s hard to impress & won’t settle for anything less than perfect. Mediocrity will NOT FLY with the Diva. She expects & she will have the best.

If you are a Pushya, Magha, Uttara Phalguni Rising or a Leo, Scorpio, Taurus, Aquarius, Sagittarius, or Capricorn Rising, you may come off as the Diva/Boss Bitch female character trope. You seem to prioritize work, success & your ambition over friendships & relationships. You force the males who gaze upon you to reevaluate their own status & merit in the world. They know you can’t be easily swayed & have to step to you with their best foot forward. Usually depicted as an insatiable boss, men may feel you’re an insatiable lover— demanding & hard to please…whatever, this doesn’t stop you! You know what you want & if they don’t get it for you, you’ll get it your damn self. You come off as self-assured & somewhat egotistical. You’re proud of your work & you expect to be treated like the BOSS that you are. If someone has a problem with that, well then, they can just get in line! Olivia Pope in Scandal is a great example of this trope in action. First, she has a J.O.B. & she’s DAMN good at it. The best, even. Her sex appeal through the male gaze is due to her wits & her competence. Like you, as soon as she walks into the room, people know it’s business time.

If you are the Diva/Boss Bitch Trope, don’t let ANYONE discredit your hustle—not another woman, not a man…NO ONE! You’ve worked hard to get where you are, and it shows because of the way you carry yourself. You can be one of the classiest tropes of all & that’s more impressive than you could ever know. Your beauty lies in the fact that you are sophistication personified. Your intrigue lies in the fact of your rarity! Not every woman is as ambitious or as capable as you are. You make men shiver when they lay eyes on you because you have an aura that screams “STEP YOUR GAME UP OR GET TO STEPPING!” Never try to dim who you are. You’re bossy & you’re the bitch they all LOVE to hate! Let them! You’d probably hate you too if you weren’t you because you are just too fly to handle! Confidence oozes from your pores because you know your stuff. Although it’s lonely at the top, you enjoy the view of downtown from your corner office! It’s hard to compete where others don’t compare Ms. Diva! Own it!

✨Music

Female Gaze: Flawless- Beyoncé

Male Gaze: Ms. Independent- Ne-yo

*sorry I couldn’t link it! Ran out of space!

✨Examples

Olivia Pope- Scandal

Blossom- Powerpuff Girls

Miranda Priestly— Devil Wears

Annalise Keeting- How To Get Away With Murder

Sylvie- Emily in Paris

Jaqueline- Boomerang

Shug Avery- The Color Purple

Cookie- Empire

Mercedes- P-Valley

Matron “Mama” Morton- Chicago

[angelmichelangelo]

going to ramble on about that new tv spot we got for tmnt mutant mayhem because i have worms in my brain. and this kinda links in to my post from the other day about turtles vs acceptance so yeah.

so this first screenshot is from the part where mikey asks april if she thinks they’ll be accepted into society (i tried but i couldn’t actually get a good shot where either mikey or donnie weren’t blinking lol)

so here we have mikey at the forefront. we know from other snippets of these scene before, they’re just standing in a line, so however this topic of conversation came to be, it’s mikey that has pushed his way to the front to ask her this, with big round, hopeful eyes like she’s just got to say yes.

and the reaction of the others is interesting too. we have donnie, who’s looking a little wide eyed that mikey would even ask this, like he’s shocked that he was brave enough to ask. i think i’ve mentioned it before but imo i think donnie + mike are the ones that crave that “normal human life” the most — and whilst i think mm is going to give each of them their own reason to want to be part of a normal society, i think don and mike being the youngest, they’re a little more naive to it all. they truly believe that they can just rock up, save the city from bad guys, be hailed hero’s and then sign up for high school the next day.

because look at leo and raph’s reactions. the seem a little more hesitant towards april’s response. raph looks like he knows her answer and is bracing himself for it. leo almost seems like he’s trying to warn her not to respond because he knows how much it’ll hurt his brothers.

and then we get this shot, after april tells them straight up: no.

mikey looks heartbroken. you see the way his body actually just. deflates. rejected. hurt. he physically recoils from this answer. he is definitely going to make me cry in this movie i just know it:(

donnie looks hurt by this too. like he was truly holding out onto some hope that they could be loved and accepted. he’s a little more reserved than mikey here but he’s just as affected by this. i love that he’s kind of almost hiding behind his staff? that’s a nice little touch. i imagine donnie is quite a shy little guy and this is a good example of this.

and then raph! again, if you watch the actual clip he takes one big breath as if to steel himself. perhaps he hadn’t realised what little hope he had built up in his head, but he feels it crashing down on him right here, and he’s mad about that. mad that he can’t have what he wants, and that his brothers can’t have what they want. this is a very Raph reaction but done very well.

and leo. oh leo. again, i think out of all them, leo might be the one that’s less inclined to want to be a part of the human world. he’s anxious and nervous enough about going to get pizza as it is but he looks hurt by this too. because like i said in my post about bayverse turtles wanting a human life with raph: if leo’s brothers wanted to live on the surface amongst everyone else, leo, even if he was content with his life in the sewer, would rather live up there with them, rather than underground without them. he looks away when april tells them that they wouldn’t be accepted. he carries so much of the world on his shoulders oh this boy. he’s gonna make me cry too yall.

anyway feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions on this scene! i’d love to hear ‘em :)

(also. mikey busting it down and the others hyping him up was really funny. they’re such Boys i can’t wait for this movie)

[pixiesfz]

Lucy Bronze x reader

plot: you and your best friend go to the Lioness vs Matilda's game and are taken back when a player from England walks up to you at the end of the game.

warnings: a confident lucy and drunk friend

You and your best friend of two years would always try and watch any game where your countries battled each other, from cricket all the way to hockey. You loved it and when you could you would find cheap tickets and drink till your head spun and you called a single kick a goal very loudly.

But here you were in your yellow and green Matilda's top you bought from the market years ago that was filled with signatures from past players, an overpriced beer in your hand, and your best friend in light blue blabbering on about your 'restricted view' tickets and how they were actually really good.

"y/n you don't get it I can literally touch Alessia Russo" your best friend bagged on "oh yeah" you challenged "Me and Mackenzie Arnold are going to be best mates after the game" your Aussie accent shining through since it was your second beer and the teams were still doing some light training before the match started.

You felt someone staring at you as you quickly turned around back to the ground to see all the teams kicking around until you made eye contact with one of the players from the England team.

It made sense you thought, your friend had bought tickets with a bunch of other England players so you stuck out like a sore thumb, the player laughed to herself with a smirk that made your eyes widen a little as it was so simple but was very attractive.

"Soccer games are my favorite" you reminded your best friend "Yeah because soccer women players are your perfect type, cocky, sporty, and most of the time, also into women" your friend mocked you and you rolled your eyes "Sure, sure, I'm only familiar with Matilda's, I don't fraternize with the enemy"

You and your friend laughed again before the players started to get into positions, the same player you made eye contact with, starting in front of you as a defender, she looked over to your crowd again and the area cheered very loudly, making you laugh

"she must be popular," you remarked and your friend blankly stared at you "That's Lucy fucking Bronze y/n!"

The game continued on as England scored 1 up and your best friend stuck her tongue out at you as you flipped her off, as you watched the game unfold your best friend scoffed "I have never seen Lucia Bronze look at the crowd so much"

"We said the same thing about Gorry last time and figured out it was because her missus was in the crowd" you gasped before you both turned around to look at the crowd.

"She's hot," you remarked about the player "so her girlfriends gotta be special" your best friend agreed as you scanned the crowd but found no luck as most of your area were filmed with men or mums and daughters and sons.

The first half ended with England leading and you were getting very close to slapping your best friend for her comments.

Nothing improved in the second half, Australia had scored giving you hope but England secured the win in the last 10 minutes with another goal, your ears almost blasting from the cheers around you. When the game finished you didn't leave as quick as you wanted to because your friend wanted her new top to be signed before quickly a figure ran over to you too.

"you look like you're going for the wrong team" a thick English accent popped up, you turned your body to meet the eyes of the defender who kept on looking at the stands but now that she was closer your breath hitched.

maybe you should go for other teams as well as Matilda's.

You didn't reply straight away giving your now-drunk best friend an opportunity to jump in as Lucy signed her top.

"Tell me about it, no matter how many sports her support for her country is thick and through" you furrowed your eye brows at your friends statement and the defender laughed "I guess your gonna have to support a new team from here on" she smirked

and then your jaw almost dropped to the floor.

The defender took off her jersey with one arm revealing a six-pack of abbs that your friend nudged your shoulder about very hardly as she wrote something on the back of it and passed it to you.

"See you at other games yeah?" she asked and left without waiting for an answer.

With your jaw dropped you turned the top around.

'call me 04XX XXX XXX'

"fuck me"

[thezanyarthropleura]

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is... my favorite Godzilla movie?

Or: how the MonsterVerse changed my mind after 10 years.

I hate to be that person in a fandom who's constantly saying things like "the old stuff was great, but the new stuff sucks!" however, when it comes to the kaiju genre... for a time, I unfortunately got pretty close to that. I once rolled my eyes at the notion of the "Kaiju Renaissance," and how between Legendary and Toho it had "something for everyone" and thought that for me, that was only really true if you counted some of the IDW comics, the 12-minute Godzilla vs. Megalon short film, and the renewed availability/merchandising for the originals - which means I've recently seen about 20 classic films I never had before, including some of my new favorites, so in that sense, it sort of did feel like a Renaissance. It just wasn't feeling, at the time, like the newer movies had much to offer for me personally.

It isn't that I had a great many negative things to say about the MonsterVerse films, I just... didn't have a lot of positive things to say either. Due to a number of things I can now look back on as mostly minor nitpicks, there was a sense that they didn't even belong to the fandom I loved at all, and Toho's offerings as of late... had felt pretty much the same. Now, I'll have you know I do in fact love the heck out of Godzilla: Minus One, and in a way, that film feels like a great "part one" of my change in attitude toward the new kaiju boom, but in the end, I like it more because it's an excellent film overall than specifically because it's a kaiju film.

The Godzilla solo films, or films where kaiju are presented exclusively or almost exclusively as an antagonistic force, are *in theory* some of my least favorites of the bunch. I end up holding quite a few of them very highly on their own merits as movies, but what I'm mainly looking for in these films actually started with the original Mothra film in 1961 - the expansion of the genre from disaster film into urban/contemporary fantasy, and the treatment of giant monsters as spiritual, cultural, supernatural forces that can represent a whole slew of things other than a threat or crisis.

Now, if that just sounds like a fancy way of saying "giant monsters beating the crap out of each other" then you're not entirely wrong. I do love a good hero story, and it informs a lot of which films end up being my favorites. But there are other factors I find exceptionally strong in many of the classic films - personal resonance with the human element, the interaction of the human and monster elements, the overall uniqueness and earnestness of the story being told - that I just wasn't finding with the MonsterVerse.

...Until now

GXK SPOILERS AHEAD!

I went in not expecting too much from this movie. From all the hype surrounding it, I was prepared for a monster brawl I could sit back and have a good time watching, and that was about it. I thought the opening Hollow Earth scenes were cool (if a little gory), I laughed out loud in the theater at Doug's appearance, and since I was already spoiled on Scylla's death, I didn't take it too badly (she was my favorite of the MV original Titans, but since I wasn't that invested, it was easy enough to switch back into "oh, we were never supposed to care about them" mode).

Things changed as we got introduced (mainly re-introduced) to the human cast. It was specifically the car scene, with Ilene picking Jia up from school and the short conversation they have in sign, that resonated especially well and gave me the sudden hope that this film was, in fact, going to have a very strong emotional core. It sets both of them up for deeper, more personal character arcs than they had in their previous appearance in Godzilla vs. Kong, and that only continued as we got more scenes with them, and then added Bernie into the cast.

There's something I really love about the Ilene and Bernie scene - Bernie is, in a sense, a meme character, in that his laser-focused self-interest is continually played for laughs, but then we put him in a scene with an increasingly emotional and desperate Ilene. The contrast between the two of them cuts deep at the appeal to underlying humanity that we see play out with this cast, in small moments, across the rest of the movie. Jia was already the best character in the MonsterVerse, but she has an even stronger pull when we've been introduced to a deep emotional angst looming in the background of all her scenes. Ilene's worries about her strained relationship with her daughter are carried through and don't ever feel like they've been left behind for the sake of expediency. Bernie has always had a few serious notes to his character, but even though the jokes continue, his insecurity around being hounded by skeptics is eventually played seriously and he becomes much more than the memes by the end of this film. Trapper doesn't feel quite like he gets a complete arc of his own, but as the new addition, he has a great vibe and acts as a supportive presence for everyone else's arcs.

GxK is very much a "quirky people in a situation have decided to support each other" movie, reminding me very strongly of Ebirah, Horror of the Deep (1966), which previously held the title of my personal favorite Godzilla movie. And yet, given this specific cast of characters, both in literal dynamic parallels and how enjoyable they are to watch, I can't help but also draw favorable comparisons to the Heisei era Gamera films - which I hold in their own, higher tier that eclipses anything that's come out of the Godzilla franchise. I'd specifically mention Gamera: Guardian of the Universe (1995) as probably the closest comparison, both in character and overall tone. Both of those movies are already in my top ten, along with a few other comparable films like Ghidorah, the Three Headed Monster (1964), which also has similar vibes in the human cast but far more direct parallels on the monster side.

As for the tone - great. GxK has one kaiju sex joke and one Skull Island style death, in something that feels like a "last hurrah" for the MonserVerse's previous sense of humor, but after that, it takes on a certain Showa-style earnestness for even the fantastical story being told. When there is humor, it has more to do with the characters' personalities playing off one another, and IMO, it works very well (I still think it could do with less green/yellow blood splatter and monster gore in general, but most of that is also kept to the beginning of the movie). Overall, the film doesn't feel like it's making fun of itself or the genre it's in, or if it does, it's doing so more tastefully than some previous entries.

It's probably well known by now that Godzilla himself isn't in this movie all that much, mainly relegated to Kong's backup - which is fine by me, as that's actually more or less my exact favorite use of Godzilla. He doesn't need to be the main character, or a significant narrative focus, he doesn't even need to be an outright hero, he just needs to be convenient. Godzilla showing up in all his glory, to make a situation at least slightly better for someone I care about, so I can cheer him on. That's all I ask, and this film finally delivers that. The best I can figure, the previous MV films either made him too brutal/vengeful or made his enemies too sympathetic, or some combination of the two, such that he never felt like he had that big hero moment I was looking for until now. But Scar King is just enough of a love-to-hate villain that it easily tilts the moral compass in Godzilla's favor, and this film even does make a point of having a few moments where Godzilla chooses to set his rage aside and spare a former enemy (Scylla and Tiamat notwithstanding. RIP to them, I guess).

Now, as for Kong - I've never been a Kong fan. I don't have much interest in watching previous Kong movies outside of Toho's versions and sometimes the 2005 film. The classic take on the character, with the kidnapping elements and inevitable tragedy, just doesn't appeal to me, but even when I wasn't quite sold on the MonsterVerse, one of the things I did acknowledge was that it was actually starting to make me like Kong. This film cements that, and I have zero problems that it's more of Kong's movie over Godzilla's (and for as much of the movie as the trailers spoiled, I'm really glad they managed to hide almost everything to do with Suko. His story has so much more depth than "Kong adopts a cute baby ape," it's actually wonderful).

(I could also gush at length about Mothra, but most if it would probably be incomprehensible. Just know that despite her small role and short screentime, she's at some of her very best here).

So yes, a MonsterVerse film has, as far as I can tell, somehow topped my list of favorite Godzilla films, and is now up there competing with Heisei Gamera and the third Rebirth of Mothra movie for my top pick in the genre. But the next question is, did one good movie actually change my mind about the whole MonsterVerse?

...Kind of, yeah. With as much as GxK made me love Ilene, Jia, and Bernie, I now immensely enjoy Godzilla vs. Kong (2021) and I've found myself rewatching it many, many times just to see more of them, not to mention also appreciating it a lot more as Kong's film. Mothra and especially the focus on Monarch as an organization also brings me back to Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019), whose characters I've since reevaluated and found that I also quite enjoy. Kong: Skull Island (2017) remains an enjoyable popcorn movie for me, also elevated slightly for being a Kong film and having Skull Island and Iwi lore, and Godzilla (2014)... is also part of the continuity, I guess. I do enjoy a lot of what it has to offer, but it's probably my least favorite.

To get serious for a moment, these days every new release, in any fandom I'm in, makes me feel like it might be the last one I get to enjoy, if not the last one period. And if that ends up being true about this movie, then at least I'd be able to say that as far as I'm concerned, the kaiju genre, if not human media in general, has gone out on a high note.

I'm not in a place where I can concern myself at all with sequels or spinoffs, anything we might get in the future. But for now, this is a good movie, and I'm going to be enjoying the heck out of it. I've seen it in theaters three times and counting. I bought the novelization audiobook and have listened to it twice so far. I'm writing a fanfic. I keep impulse-buying the playmates toys. I started learning sign language. I'm choosing to be not at all normal about this movie and if the world ended with it being my entire personality, maybe at least in some sense I'd die happy.

So from me, a classic kaiju film snob who could talk at length about how Japanese films from as early as the 1950s and 60s have more progressive values and better storytelling than modern Hollywood, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire gets an absolutely GLOWING recommendation. Somehow.

...and in case I don't see you, so long and that's a lot of fish.

[athenawasamerf]

This is so fringe for tumblr but it’s also completely hilarious so I’m gonna share with the group.

Background: Basically how marriage works in islam (and therefore in Islamic/Muslim majority countries) is that the groom and his family pay for everything, the house, the furnishings, the wedding, even the bride’s clothes. As in, pjs and underwear and outfits for different seasons, as well as giving the bride a monetary gift (Mahr). This is all well and good, but unrealistic for impoverished North African countries. So what Egyptians do instead is that these costs are split between the bride and groom (and their families). The groom acquires an apartment, and depending on which area of Egypt they’re in there’s a cultural knowledge of what furnishings fall to the groom vs the bride. Mostly things like actual furniture and the bulk of electronic items falls to the groom, while things like curtains and carpets and bedspreads and towels and cutlery falls to the bride, along with a few electronics like TVs, microwaves and, recently, dishwashers. The details are hashed out privately.

Now, the house is in the groom’s name and men started doing this thing where they divorce women and take all the shit the women had bought for the house. Which is like, a lot. To keep our rights protected, because lord knows the state won’t do shit to protect us, women started doing this thing where they write extremely detailed lists of all the things they bought for the marital home and how much it costs. A couple of witnesses and the groom would then sign this ‘list of purchases’ as proof that it’s debt payable to the bride in case of divorce (or death, if the late husband’s family tries to defraud her out of her things during the handling of the inheritance). Men, of course, have been opposed to this concept for decades and have launched multiple campaigns against it, the last of which went viral just a few days ago.

Egyptian women, fed up with the bs we’ve been taking from the least useful men on earth, kinda just went… okay then, buy everything your own damn selves, and started a social media campaign of memes about men rushing to stores for bargains on pots and pans, and arguing with their mothers about the number of towels they need to get to ‘not be seen as lesser than my cousin’. It’s very much an inversion of the humiliating bullshit women go through to get married in this country, but nothing on earth will be funnier to me than Egyptian men going ‘we wont sign lists of purchase anymore’ and this new generation of Egyptian women going ‘okay then we ain’t buying shit. Have fun arguing with the seamstress about the price of fabric per meter for living room curtains.’

PS: men came back with ‘we’ll do the absolute bare minimum of furnishings and you’ll have to just accept that and live with it’ in hopes of deterring women from not sharing in marriage costs, and women were just like ‘no, actually, Islam says marriage is for he who can afford it, if you cant afford it just fast like islam tells you to :)))))’

Men: ‘you’ll all become spinsters’

Women: ‘we’ll just start marrying foreign men’

Egyptian social media has been hilarious the last few days and i wish y’all spoke Arabic so i could share it with you

[niuniente]

I stumbled upon above image from this blog and went “Huh, that’s exactly how my fingernails grow. I know it can be a sign of a severe health problem but doctors haven’t found anything and my fingernails have looked like that for my whole life”. (I’d like to grow my nails long but I can’t because the pressure of the curving is too much and painful.)

(and here’s a pic of healthy nails, growing as they should)

I checked the origin of the photo and found the blog I just mentioned. It’s run by an English person who was diagnosed with BJHS - Benign Joint Hybermobility Syndrome. I read all the person’s experiences and symptoms and yikes! That’s me! (with overlapping IBS and iron deficiency which can’t be treated)

“Benign meaning “it will not kill me,” not that it’s all fluffy-kittens-and-sunshine. Joint Hypermobility meaning my joints move too much in the wrong ways (yes, “double jointed,” though of course I have only a single set of each joint). Syndrome meaning that this problem creates a cascade of other issues throughout my body. BJHS is a connective tissue-based disorder. Somewhere along the line, my genetics have made it so that I don’t either produce enough of, or don’t process completely, the protein collagen. Collagen is like the scaffolding for every connective tissue in  your body. Connective tissues include: skin, muscles, ligaments, tendons, hair, bones, eyes, blood vessels, spinal discs, cartilage, the intestines, the heart, the liver… basically, everywhere. In fact, I can’t actually name a part of the body that doesn’t contain it.”

Here are the blog person’s experiences VS my experiences

Insomnia: did I mention the hyper-wired, jazzed-up, over-talkative, never-shuts-down nature of my brain? That I get more hyper the more exhausted I become? That I used to sleep so lightly that my roommate in college could wake me up by writing in her journal? Did I mention that, without the right meds, I probably get one or two nights of truly deep, restful sleep… a year? Me: Yup! I sleep so slightly that when I had a flatmate, I woke up when she touched the handle of her door. Though my insomnia isn’t as bad as this persons, I do regularly need melatonin to sleep normally. Otherwise I can’t fall asleep until 8am, even if I was super tired during the day. Otherwise I sleep well.

Liver metabolism: I have serious problems processing medications, as I have a liver that is slow to metabolize chemicals. I cannot take a very long list of drugs, including most pain killers. This also includes naturopathic treatments… even my own hormones! I get side effects (or no effects) with everything I take. As my naturopath likes to say: “You just walk by a chemical, and it affects you.” Me: My shiatsu healer said that my liver is not working properly. I have hormonal problems. Even with the IUD I still get them monthly, though IUD has improved my health tremendously.

Complex PTSD and anxiety: like the stuff combat veterans get, only not quite. Caused by excessive exposure to stressful situations that one cannot escape, like, say… a bully at work (not saying that was my situation. Just as an example…). Though I received great treatment, people with BJHS are prone to stuff like this: fight or flight, remember? Me: I’m getting better but I’m 24/7 anxious more or less. I hope I can continue having anxiety medication for “bad things” like traveling. Do you know how annoying it is that you love traveling and have traveled the same journey for 10+ years and your anxiety still says “Okay but this time, something bad CAN happen!!” I was also pretty much mute for 12 years. My muscles are tense 24/7 due hyperactive nervous system and anxiety.

Heart palpitations: yucky, but harmless Me: Sometimes they happen, ugh...

Irritable bowel syndrome Me: TELL ME ABOUT IT QoQ The IUD has helped with this, too, as apparently I also have endometriosis which causes IBS to some.

Sinus problems and severe allergies (go immune system, go!) Me: YUP! Just got finally an allergy medication after sneezing daily, 20 times a day for 30 years. I new life has began! My nose isn’t running! I don’t need to have a truckload of tissues everywhere!

GERD (bad acid reflux) Me: And it gets worse with hormonal changes... I’ve got 4 different medications for this.

Poor balance and an inability to fully understand where my body is in relation to everything else. Me: Not really my issue but I do get clumsy with hormonal chances. It’s a common joke between me and my sister by now.

An inability to regulate body temperature, including both freezing extremities and excessive sweating, sometimes at the same time Me: This is genuinely THE WORST! It’s -30C outside, I go there half-naked, walk for 3 minutes and I’m sweating like a little big. All my clothes are trenched with sweat in 10 minutes. I’m inside and it’s 23C and I need wool socks and wake up with a sore throat because it’s too cold. I also “catch” the temperatures easily and shower (or sauna) is then the only option. If I catch “cold”, I will not warm up no matter how warmly I dress and sit in front of a heater. If I catch “hot”, I will not cool down even if I sat in front of a fan naked with ice-cubes on my body.

Hair that breaks easily and nails that are bent and curl off the tips of my fingers, as well as fingers that wrinkle like I’ve been in the tub for days Me: Yes. I need to use hair oil daily and baby oil for body and my eyes are like Sahara desert. Nails curve and my fingers are always wrinkly.

I have painful big toe joints, so no high heels for me. Walking long distances can be a disaster, so good shoes are very important. I suffer from plantar fasciitis, which means the bottoms of my feet hurt, especially in the morning. Me: Same. I went to doctor to complain how my toes hurt but they couldn’t find anything. My soles hurt extremely easily - like 5h walking and I’m already in pain. Doesn’t matter if I’m 45kg or 100kg in weight, it still hurts the same. Fingers hurt all the time.

My immune system is hyper-active as well, mounting elaborate, full-scale mucus or lymph node or other responses to mild colds and viruses. I’m sick a lot longer than normal people, and a lot more seriously, yet it’s not due to a poor immune system, but rather one that’s too strong. Me: Same. Last time I was sick was in 2017. It was just a normal cold but it took 4 weeks from me to recover. I was bedridden for a week. I’ve not gotten covid and despite my shitty bowl I don’t get sick easily. I don’t remember the last time I was sick prior 2017. Probably in 2007? With a bit runny nose though.

Loose connective tissues mean joints that move too easily, which means pinched nerves and pain. Think about how it feels when you throw your back out, or get carpal tunnel syndrome. Now imagine this feeling all over your body.  My nerves get pinched, causing several types of pain. I get back pain, obviously. I get numbness and mild paralysis in my thighs and hands. I get weakness in my legs and arms, and sciatica/restless leg sensations if I sit too long. Worst of all, I get parasthesia in my fingers and toes (that’s the tingling, painful sensation you get when you sit funny and your foot goes numb, then starts to wake up). I have this sensation, in varying degrees, all the time. Me: I’m literally in pain all around my body from neck below, for 24/7. Only the level of pain differs. I get easily numbness to arms and legs. I’ve started to suffer of restless legs and middle body with heavy jolting, especially if I’m tired. If I’m stressed and go to sleep, my nose and lips switch a lot.

[bearhugsandshrugs]

BG3 Kinktober Recap

Phew. Kinktober 2023 for Baldur's Gate 3 is nearly over and I wanted to share some stats!

75 prompts were submitted

31 participants joined

61 works were created

over 221,000 words were written

This was the first time I ever ran any kind of challenge and I'm absolutely blown away by what we created here. Thank you so much to everyone who participated, whether by prompts or fills (or both), I appreciate you all so much.

Anyone seeing this for the first time: Please go check out the amazing works that were created this month!!!

Note: the public stats on the Collection are different from what I can see on the backend (at least for the number of people who signed up, but here I'm not sure if this is prompt givers vs. writers).

I'm adding some reflections on the Challenge under the cut and am inviting anyone who participated to share theirs as well! Please tag/reblog if you do, would love to see your thoughts.

First, the set up: Setting up this promptmeme challenge and collection on AO3 wasn't great. I don't think it was very intuitive, so it took me a good 2 hours to figure it out, with some tweaking here and there afterwards. But don't be discouraged! Once you know what to do it's alright. Feel free to message me with questions if anyone wants to run a similar challenge on AO3.

Some notes: I could have included an email but that would have been public and I wasn't really sure if I wanted that. I could have added mods to this challenge and probably should have, because my idea to check every submittal crumbled on Day 2 lol.

Overall people kept submitting prompts after prompts, especially after brainstorming sessions on discord servers, which I guess is the nature of this. I initally added several free forms and prompts to kick it off, but quickly there were more prompts than people available to claim, which is the nature of such challenges I guess. Many things were also submitted several times because people wouldn't check past prompts. I could have moderated this better but didn't have enough time, tbh.

Most fills were created in the first half of the month. There are still 28 unfilled claims that I don't expect to get filled, which is okay (I also had to drop a few claims because I overestimated my ability to fill them). Generally, for AO3, this is not ideal: since it's AO3 personally I felt more obligated to write fics, rather than drabbles, and of course that takes so much more time than drabbling short ficlets. Wish I would have specified this differently in the beginning.

Some personal thoughts from my poor writer brain:

I am such an insecure weak ass person, lol. I felt obligated to a fault to fill everything I claimed, dropped several prompts far too late, and completely soured my joy in writing smut in the process. I think I wrote too many fills in too short a time frame. I didn't enjoy the challenge as much as I could have as a result. This isn't on anyone in particular other than me, but I thought I would share in case anyone else struggled. Instead of claiming things I knew I could write well I constantly took prompts that were challenging (too challenging at times), including characters I rarely write or scenarios I wasn't particularly able to craft well (I know people enjoyed my fics but I guess I could have done better work with less pressure). I'm not sure why I did this. I think the prompts were just so great that the idea of filling sounded easier to me than actually doing the work LOL. I don't regret it, to be clear. I simply could have been better at going at this.

Promoting this was also something I should have done more, but my blog isn't really big (and that's fine) and to this day I keep forgetting adding my tumblr/discord underneath the AO3 fics I publish.

I really should not have worked on two series while doing Kinktober. It was distracting, in all directions. I still hope I did the fills, Keeping Score and Til Death justice. I love all my fic children equally.

So, what's next?

I know there's a huge demand for promptmeme challenges and people really want to send in prompts and places to fill. At the same time consistently checking prompts (and fills) to see if something is included that doesn't align with my values feels very intimidating, at least for me alone (I've been in fandoms for almost two decades, I know that at some point, something horrible will pop up in prompts or fills. I've seen it before, and it would anger me to no end if I would miss, say, a transphobic prompt or fill in my collection).

If anyone has ideas/suggestions/thoughts on that, please let me know.

As always, my DMs and Asks are open to chat!

Thank you again to everyone who participated. You're rockstars.

– Em

[androdetective]

Montaña Bazofia spoilers

Tulio Triviño is one of the most popular 31 minutos characters. Which, of course he is, he's the main main character. He gets talked about a lot but what I don't see as much is people discussing his upbringing and Why He's Like That when his family is so different. We learn more about his family in the comic, Montaña Bazofia. Particularly his father, who is a bit infamous with people who are aware of him. I'll get to him soon enough. From the show, we know his mom is very supportive of him. She praised him very much. He is a mothers boy. We know she was one of the first watchers of the show. He seems to have a decent relationship with him. Although constant appraisal of her child could've influenced his ego, although there are many factors to a dysfunctional ego. One of which is having a dysfunctional upbringing. Which brings me to the topic of his dad. Tulios dad is terrifying, straight up. He is emotionally stunted and seems to have some anger issues. When Tulio went to visit him, to some extent, his anger towards Tulio was fair. Tulio abandoned his family and father to go get rich and have a news show. It was shown that ever since Tulio left, he has spent most of his time in his despacho. (Idk how to say it in English sorry) The way he showed his anger, was however honestly kinda cruel. When Tulio walked up to him (with great hesitation) he said that he hopes he leaves soon and never calls him his father again. He even told him he's dead to him and has disinheritited him. He didn't believe Tulio came back with wholesome intentions (Although he was right about that) he literally said "tell me why you're here or I'll kill you". After that Tulio soon asks him why he never accepted him. Tulio then tries to remember good times he's had with his father, only to come up with nothing. Which either implies he legimately did not have any good moments with him, or that he just doesn't remember. And neither are great options. Tulio isn't a great person. He's done shitty things to everyone, including his dad. But his dad has been doing shitty things to him for a long time. At the end of the comic, he reveals that he's watched all his shows and interviews. And has actually supported his career. He has a heartfelt moment (heartfelt in heavy quotation marks) where he reveals that during Tulios childhood, whenever he made fun of him, ignored him, critiqued him, and even pulled his chair often when he was about to sit, he did it because he loved Tulio the most. He even admits that it probably wasn't the best way to show it. And the thing is, Tulio was the only child he did this to apparently. (Jesus christ no wonder Tulios fucked) This treatment would just ruin a child's self esteem, no matter what. He had no reason to do any of those things. It didn't make Tulio stronger or anything, it just gave him issues. Combine a father that was mean and critical vs a mom that was super nice, I only wonder if that was what caused his ego dysfunctionality. In a flashback to kid Tulio in the movie, he was showing signs of a high ego. It happens in real life and yeah I'm aware I'm looking too deep into this, but the implications are hard to ignore. Tulios' father did love him, he was just not great at showing it by any means. He was hurt by Tulio's not so great actions but he's also done many not good things to Tulio. His dad does want to be there for him. I think he just needs to find way better ways of it. Tulio could've had a naturally high ego of course, but I think his childhood affected it even more. The back and forth between the two parenting methods seems overwhelming idk. This genuinely is fascinating to me and I wish there was more discussion on Tulio's father. Neither of them are the best people, but both in different ways. I think they'll have a rocky relationship for a long while more.

[homemantis]

Going off of this!!

I’d like to share my own take on Craig Tucker in regards to how I view him, + his asd. He’s my little meowmeow and I chose how to write him. >:) Oh my god this is a mess of thoughts. Some headcanons, some just straight up analysis. While I do enjoy a lot of fanon portrayals of Craig (and Tweek) as they are all valid and fun in their own ways and I love seeing everyone’s takes on them, I definitely do have my own favorites. There is no one way to interpret a character after all! That being said, Craig Tucker is a LOSER (affectionate). He’s a cringefail loser nerd and I hope he knows it. This man is a nerdy hyperfixated disaster who on the surface level only has three moods: bitchy, neutral, and adoration. He’s a sarcastic little bitch who always complains about the fucking bizarreness of everything that's going on around him. He does not want any part of it. He will flip it off. He will flip his family off. He will flip you off. He will flip off god. However, in some instances, family, friends and those special people (or guinea pigs) he doesn’t know how to express his emotions, and so he will fall back on the gesture as a means of affection. (i.e. when you insult your best friends as a sign of knowing each other for a long time sorta thing.) Most of the time, I think he’s just. Neutral. He’s going through life as boringly as he can and he likes it that way. He even brings this up: “Boring, just the way I like it.” And I hate to reach here, but as someone with autism myself, and I know others with this condition, a lot of the time we HATE change. Routines, schedules, boringness, its just the way to be, it’s not scary or weird, it’s just normality in a world of bizarreness. I don’t want to go on a spontaneous adventure, I need time and preparation to do things outside of normalcy, even if it is fun and a good change, I will need time to adjust. I could see Craig 100% being the same way.  Even in ‘Tweek x Craig’ he’s especially upset about the towns attention on him, as being in a ‘relationship’ with Tweek is a big change and is the first out of him and Tweek to go out of the way to try and solve the issue via the fake breakup. Another point here is his ‘problem-solving’ attitude. In ‘Put It Down’ he tries to ‘solve’ Tweek’s anxiety by distracting him, when what he needed to do was just talk to Tweek about his feelings. I’ve actually seen other autistic people say that this episode taught them how to better empathise with others, and truly it’s a guiding point for me as well! It’s a genuine good reminder to me that when my friends are upset maybe the best thing to do is just listen and affirm feelings. Thanks Craig :) Once again, he always has a neutral expression, he doesn't smile often and we don’t even see him smile much in tfbw when your character takes a selfie with him. I like to hc that he just has a resting bitch face lmao. But a lot of autistic people genuinely struggle to convey or even feel emotions in the same neurotypical way. This can often be called masking, and because I don’t want to ramble for forever, I definitely recommend looking up autistic masking for yourself. His voice is even neutral and monotone, which can be an autism thing! Some asd individuals have trouble putting emotion into their voices and can seem un-caring, when thats not true, and it’s just more natural to be monotone. I definitely don’t think Craig is without emotions, he’s just not going at expressing his feelings (which I’d love to talk about in contrast for his relationship with Tweek but that’s for another day as this post is long enough). For example, he does seem worried about Tweek’s anxiety in ‘Put It Down’ and even asks how Tweek is when they’re broken up in tfbw. He’s worried about how others see him being gay in ‘Tweek x Craig’ and he’s infamously known for his love for his guinea pig, who he’s upset at the notion of someone insulting the love for his pet in ‘Tweek vs Craig’. Anyway, why do I think he’s a loser? Well as @craigrights put it in our dm’s, Craig:

- gets NO bitches except one meth addict

- needs braces

Which. Yeah. Thank you Syd, you’ve summed it up. (Yeah absolute hc that he has fucked up teeth and needs to wear braces lmao.) But other then that, I love the popular fanbase headcanon that Craig is just a major nerd for space stuff. He has space memorabilia around his bedroom from what we can see in tfbw. I’d also like to note that aside from the little boxes on the floor, which can be probably cleaned up in a minute or two, his room is really clean! An absolute clean nerd (autism). Weirdo.

So yeah, I can absolutely see him being hyperfixated on space and astromony, and adores it. I can totally see him being super quiet only giving the occasional blunt one-liners but then flipping into rambling about space whenever you give him the chance. He loves Stripe, and all the variations of stripe over the years which is honestly really heart-warming. It really does crush the whole ‘bad-boy’ persona when some of the characters chalk him up to be a troublemaker. This kid loves animals. DORK.  Last thing is the fictional red racer tv show, I could sooo see him having a mini-fixation on it too. When Cartman asks him to fight Tweek in ‘Tweek vs Craig’ he responds that he’ll only do it after red racer. THIS BOY HAS WORKED RED RACER INTO HIS AUTISM SCHEDULE.. A LOSER. Anyway this was an absolute ramble!! And not even all my thoughts on this character, I’m forgetting a LOT and it’s sorta sad how much I could probably add to this. I could also talk a bit about his character relationships in my own personal au? headcanon? Idk what you’d call it. I’d love to ramble about Tweek too, and especially Creek headacnons as a whole as I had to personally hold myself back from adding a bunch of Creek into this ramble. I love them too much I’m sorry.  Anyway, let me know if you want to hear anything more about the topics listed above! You guys are epic, thanks for listening. <3333