#*Throws this out

[acorviart]

not to sound like a boomer, but I need some people to learn how to write emails in a semi-professional (at the very least) format so you're not cold emailing a business/potential employer/any other stranger about formal matters in the exact same way you'd DM a close friend on instagram

the formality/language can loosen up in the email chain once you've established a rapport and you match the other person if they're being less formal, but please don't have the very first email you send a stranger be written in all lowercase ultra-casual sms slang with no greeting or signature and a billion emojis

[egophiliac]

missed the mark by (looks at calendar) uhhh. hm. but I really wanted to do something for the 5th anniversary! happy five years to these idiots 🎉

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman

[skipar00]

fuck it I was persuaded to post

New Orleans Miku

[the-introducer]

That one scene except Harry is spamming the lines from that one onion article

[hinamie]

10 years later

[starryeyed-apple]

subby, pussy drunk caleb overstimulating you

For most your life, you always trailed behind Caleb, his little shadow. But he always looked back at you, always asked you where you wanted to go.

Letting you lead the way was an instinct that blossomed into a beautiful dynamic in this new stage of your relationship. Him, longing for you to direct him in whatever way you wanted. You, guiding him gently with all your love and affection.

Still, you would have never guessed just how far his thirst for your guidance went.

Sometimes the reality of it hits you, all at once and all too much in one singular, awestruck moment. Your sweet, loyal, bright-eyed Caleb—the man you'd always known, always loved better than anyone—now nestled between your legs, flushed face buried in your cunt as if it's the home he's always been seeking. Reduced to a drooling, whimpering mess as he devours every drop of you.

Sunset eyes glaze over and droop shut. His lips are swollen and wet, drenched in his spit and the evidence of just how many times he can make you cum.

Your release drips down his chin whenever he pulls back for a gasp. His half-lidded gaze flutters up to your blissed-out face when he dives back in, moaning in time with each thrust of his tongue inside you.

The familiar whine of his name from your lips, coated now in a wanton need only he'd ever hear, drives him even more insane. Each tug of your fingers through the sweaty strands of hair at the nape of his neck gets him even more pussy drunk, grinding into the mattress from just the taste of you.

Caleb's right hand fists into your bed sheets, cloth tearing between the strength hidden in those fingers. His other fingers skirt along your inner thigh as he grips at it, keeping you spread open along with the steady thrum of his Evol.

“Caleb,” you whimper, tugging harder at his hair, the sweet bite of pain dragging a moan from deep within his throat. “I—I can’t—”

“Just one more, huh?” he pants his desperation into your soaked cunt, eyes wide and pleading while his fingers trace up your thigh to join his tongue in your folds. He slowly scissors those callused digits into your wet heat, and moans when your walls flutter in eager response around them. “Please, please, just one more. I’ve been so good, pips, haven’t I? Haven’t I, baby?”

You’re pretty sure you’re just as gone as him at this point, nothing but adoration and praise in the stroke of your shaking hand against his blushing red, freckled cheek.

“One more,” you whisper with a nod, already feeling the impossibility of another orgasm creeping up on you when he sucks your clit back into his mouth, flicking his tongue around it along with the upwards curl of his fingers inside you. “One more, baby. Just—oh, fuck! So good for me, Caleb, so fucking good…”

The bed rocks under his mindless humps into the mattress, and you lose yourself to the sounds of his mewling and desperate suckling of your cunt until he makes you cum again—and again, and again, because you know very well it won’t just be one more.

[burquillos]

He bought it at a thrift store

[saintforan]

gorgeous looking fem!shadow and her stupid ass adam sandler looking gf

[ashenquill]

Thinking about the Bats suppressing their injuries and how yes, they have crazy high pain tolerance, and yes, they are in peak human condition, but ALSO, they do Too Much Shit sometimes and have definitely made injuries worse by accidentally ignoring them

Like, imagine one of them throws out their back doing something Totally Normal and Mundane so they just. Ignore it. Because I literally sneezed, it can’t be that bad, right?

(Spoiler alert: it is that bad)

Tim, moving more slowly than normal and grimacing every few seconds: damn maybe I pulled something

Jason, stopping by to pick up some things he needs while Bruce is out: ?? What’ja do?

Tim: I dunno, but my back really fucking hurts and I’m starting to get all numb and tingly

Jason: ?!?!?

Jason: How long has it been hurting????

Tim: I don’t know??? I guess, like, a few hours???

Jason: What did you do????

Tim: I DON’T KNOW, MAN, IT STARTED AFTER I SNEEZED

Jason, laughing: YOU HURT YOURSELF BY FUCKING SNEEZING????

Tim: THAT LITERALLY CANNOT BE THE CAUSE

Jason: I dunno man, kinda sounds like it

Jason, in tears: Maybe it’s time to retire

Tim: FUCK YOU IM FINE

Tim: WATCH I’LL PROVE IT

Tim, about to do a backflip: oh fuck- OW

Tim: *passes out from the pain*

Jason, still laughing his ass off: Nice landing, Timmy!

Tim:

Jason: Timmy?

Tim:

Jason: Tim?

Jason: oh shit—

[blasphemlm]

Andrew Minyard better than me fr because if my blue eyed situationship said "thank you, you were amazing" to me after I gave 110% at a fucking stickball game and then immediately gets kidnapped by his serial killer dad he conveniently forgot to tell me about, and I had to learn that my codependent worstie knew the whole time through "gentle persuasion"...

I'd be on the news.

[probably-impossible]

Gender is not real at the Ministry but horror movie monster archetypes definitely are.

[morganbritton132]

AU where Steve hears that his girlfriend is cheating on him with the town freak but never suspects it’s with his good friend Jonathan.

So now, Eddie had a sad jock at his door threatening to beat him up but like, through tears. A lot of tears. He’s crying pretty hard and it’s getting really awkward.

[hootyhoowoo]

In da clerb, we all fam

[obligatory-decomposition]

*sobs* I LOVE MY STUPID SON

Creds: @rainy-nomad