#*insert literally everything with cas*

[rocker-socks]

not to be insane but Stephanie Brown is so underrated and i really do hate to say its misogyny but. well. It is.

[gregmarriage]

sooooo many thoughts on those last five eps, i can barely think to get them all written down, holy shit!!!

[sejianismodding]

☠️ REMINDER: Double-check the OP for updates!

[BG+] Replacing odd animations with less odd animations, huzzah!

⚔️ Requires the corresponding content pack. 🚀 Initial Release - 8/5/2024 🌠 New Arrivals - 8/12/2024

🔄 Update 8/8/2024 - [✔️] Updates should have no effect on this mod unless EAxis removes animations.

🎁 SFS Folder - http://simfileshare.net/folder/229266/

✒️ Some animations just look... bad. There are a few solutions for this but I've chosen the simplest and most versatile - animation overrides! <insert magicky hand gestures here> Are you amazed? Yes, yes you are!

🗺️ Modding Announcements Post: https://www.patreon.com/posts/109291501

👽 This is an AnimXGenWear-adjacent project that was initially released to replace two standing idles that suffer from the smile shown below when the sky is awake and the mood is Fine because holy !@#$, does it look bad. As stated 💬 below, new overrides are / will be sporadically added.

💬 You can thank @serawis for this releasing now instead of Later™. I had a scroll through a few of your Tumblrs following the positive response I got for the BUGFIX, encountered the above post, inquired if it was still desired, et voila - a mod is born. More are planned, eg. male and masculine sim's stand idles are very bland. If I can find replacements, I will replace one or two of them. I could literally replace everything with the cute new Lovebug animation and have everyone just doing hand hearts for eternity <snickers sinisterly> but alas, maybe for my own game only.

⏳ P.S.: Don't expect too many more of these too soon. After AnimXGenWear's initial release, I want to override all of BG CAS. I was supposed to years ago. However, if you've noticed any vanilla animations that look like they deserve the "huzzah" treatment, take a pic and share it with me. I will take a look and see if I can find a replacement.

📦 OVERRIDE PREVIEWS!

LEFT replaced with RIGHT 8/5/2024 - Two Female Stand Idles

sej_AnimOvrd_BG_YF_HandFidgetSmile_Idle01.package

sej_AnimOvrd_BG_YF_LookLeft_Idle02.package

---

LEFT is the male animation, RIGHT is the female animation. 8/12/2024 - Attempt To Seduce

sej_AnimOvrd_BG_YF_AttemptToSeduce_M.package replaces the female animation with the male animation.

sej_AnimOvrd_BG_YM_AttemptToSeduce_F.package replaces the male animation with the female animation.

---

No preview for this one yet. 8/12/2024 - Happy Face Overlay

sej_AnimOvrd_BG_YU_HappyFace_ConfidentFace.package replaces the Happy mood "face overlay" with the Confident overlay because it's the same poorly animated smiles. Also replaces the Flirty mood overlay because apparently both Happy and Flirty use the same overlay.

Face Overlays get slapped onto your face when your mood changes. We can remove or replace any of them that we don't like. Removing them completely without replacing requires an ASM override, which I can do and IIRC, SIMS4ME did one as well and I saw a post here on Tumblr with with an ASM override. I'm personally fine with most of the face overlays, I just don't like the weird Happy smiles. Removing absolutely all of them I think makes the sim too "life-less" but I can make an ASM override or provide links to the others I've seen if you want.

Post overhauled 8/13/2024.

[angelsdean]

Reading the script from 13x02 and it opens with Dean, Sam, and Jack in the Impala driving through the night and eventually stopping at a motel where Donatello catches up to them and reveals that yesterday he was "knocked off [his] feet by this weird wave of power" which was Jack's birth. We know Jack was born at night/early morning, and it's night/early morning again, which means it's literally been a mere 24 hrs at most since Cas died, and the drive that this episode opens with, yeah they're literally just leaving from burning Cas's body. Dean not being immediately warm and fuzzy toward Jack is so understandable, especially since they literally do not know anything about him, other than he's an incredibly powerful supernatural being that they spent all last season trying to stop from existing because of the potential threat his existence could cause on the world.

And the way s12 ends, Jack was positioned to be the next Big Bad from that cliffhanger.

(12x23 script)

Dean also believes Jack brainwashed Cas to get him on-side. He has no reason to trust Jack. And Sam is only really thinking about what Jack can do for him, aka get Mary back. So Sam immediately starts playing nice to get Jack on-side and willing to work with them. Sam also inserts himself into the situation, trying to force Dean and Jack to bond, and this happens again in 13x04 and both Dean and Jack express that they need time.

Dean might be harsh toward Jack and not have a Nice Tone when speaking to him in these early episodes, but he's being brutally honest about his feelings, instead of lying and pretending like Sam. Which Jack values Dean's honesty and is hurt by Sam's dishonesty when it comes to light.

The scripts also make a point to highlight how Jack is not a kid, he's in his twenties. And uses words like "demi-god" in later episodes to distinguish his status as an ultra-powerful supernatural being. Jack is naive and new to the world, sure, but he's not helpless and certainly not powerless. If we want to talk power imbalances than the true imbalance is not Mean Adult Dean not instantly loving Poor Baby Jack and it's not Mean Adult Dean shooting a gun at Literal Newborn Jack. This is a supernatural fantasy show, not a family drama. The genre is important. The true power imbalance here is mortal human man with zero powers vs supernatural being with immense powers. And moreso, a supernatural being with uncontrollable immense powers. They don't know what he could do! They have no way of stopping him if he decides to "go darkside" and just end the world! That's scary. And Sam even explains this to Jack, saying that Dean is scared of what Jack could do and it's their job to protect people, and that they may have to protect others "from you" (Jack). This scene is also another moment where Sam tries to convince Jack that he just needs to work on his powers and train to control them (and also so Sam can use Jack to get Mary back, his top priority).

Anyway, point is, Dean isn't wrong to be skeptical of Jack and on guard and keep him at a distance in those early days, and that's not even accounting for all the grief. It's literally been less than a day since Cas died and they lost Mary (and Crowley). He just burned Cas's body. So him talking about dealing with "the problem" and not immediately adopting Jack into the fold is a pretty normal response, given the context of everything.

I think often people also take the "widowers arc" John parallels too seriously. It's an interesting parallel but it's far from being a 1:1, the context are completely different. Yes, Dean just lost his love. Yes, Dean is now left with a "kid" in the wake of Cas's death. But Dean never claimed Jack as his own. Jack saying Cas is his "father" could be another manipulation tactic to ensure his survival for all Dean knows. Cas isn't there anymore to vouch for Jack, and even when he was there Dean was rightfully skeptical about Cas's sudden change of heart. A change of heart that suddenly had Cas believing in the possibility of "paradise" and "peace on earth" and fulfilling "destiny", all things that go against the core beliefs of Team Free Will who have been fighting for Freedom over Peace. So Dean has no connection to Jack and he doesn't trust Jack's alleged connection to Cas at this moment. He doesn't know Cas will come back. Cas's death felt permanent to Dean. He saw Cas's grace go out, saw his wings burn. He burned Cas's body. He prayed to Chuck and got no answer. There's no coming back in Dean's mind and he's dealing with all that intense grief while also having to contend with the potential threat of this supernatural being that has come into their lives and is literally a stranger to him.

Also Dean's "anger" and harshness, like I've said, is in part because he doesn't trust Jack and is putting up walls because he doesn't want to trust him and then get burned. Dean's always putting his heart into things, he always ends up caring, he can't help it. So in this case he's guarding his heart, he's leaning into his skepticism and suspicions. He's staying on the defensive. But also, anger is a normal and natural step in the grieving process. Yeah, Dean's immense grief over losing Cas, Mary, and even Crowley is not pretty. It's real though. And it's not an over-reaction. I think Dean is reacting the appropriate amount considering all they've lost. Sam under-reacting and dissociating and clinging to the hope of getting Mary back isn't the "baseline normal" emotional reaction. Sam is not coping well either. He's not coping at all, actually, and is instead refusing to really acknowledge these losses.

Anyway, I find many comparisons to John re: widower's arc leaving me cold these days, because they often disregard how completely different the contexts of the two situations are, and instead try to force-fit Dean and Jack into a John and his kids mold. Dean isn't becoming "the angry man of the house." He's grieving and he's skeptical of a near-stranger's intentions. Another way in which Dean and John differ greatly in their responses to grief is: John becomes consumed by revenge and springs into action (just like Sam when he lost Jess) but Dean? Dean shuts down. Dean loses hope. Dean ends up killing himself and wishing to stay dead. (Also, I know not everyone agrees with this interpretation, but: see Dean's response post-15x18. Jensen describes Dean's death as Dean being "tired" and letting go (sounds a whole lot like suicide to me). Dean always loses hope when Cas dies).

As the audience, we have the gift of omniscience and we are also able to look into the future now that the show is done. We know Jack doesn't become the second coming of Lucifer, but Dean doesn't know any of that at the time. Dean, in-world, is dealing with the very real possibility that Jack could become their next antagonist and all his actions in the early days following Jack's introduction are informed by that lingering threat.

[via-l0ve]

Thank you so much for doing my request. I loved it. Could please write abt the Spn boy when they like the reader but reader is dating someone else who they are very happy with. I'm in the mood for angst.

I Love You, So (Please, let me go) {SPN pref!} ❤️‍🩹

a/n: i love angst. unrequited love is so great but i hate it but i love it lolol. hope you enjoy babes!! (title is a song lyric from ‘I Love You So’ by The Walters!) (also i didn’t include crowley bc all i could think about was him killing the s/o LMFAOOO so i decided to not)

warnings: angst, overall sadness lol, drinking/alcohol

Dean:

i think it would be hard for him to accept and grasp

he’d try and distract himself with one night stands with other women, knowing he’d leave them in the morning or in the dead of night

every time he’d see your s/o and you he’d die a little inside

he really thinks he could treat you so much better

he’d flirt with you but you’d shrug it off as just playful interaction and it would be really sad for him to see

but he dosent want to ruin your relationship

if anyone knows how hard the hunter life can be - it’s dean

he’d give anything to have a ‘normal’ life

it just sucks that he can’t have it with you </3

Sam:

sam tries to be unbothered

he gets jealous though

he sees your partner touch you so innocently and his blood boils

but he tries to keep his cool

for your sake

if your partner ever made you upset he would get so protective

always taking your side fr

even if it’s over something dumb or even if you’re CLEARLY in the wrong

sammy will side with you

it really does break his heart though

i think deep down he’d think it’s a good thing bc he’s definitely got some deep rooted trauma from all of his past lovers dying so gruesome

so even though he’s literally heartbroken he’ll deal with it bc he sees that you’re happy

but he daydreams about you and what it would be like to grow old together </3

Castiel:

i don’t think cas would totally get it

but i think he’d understand that he couldn’t make any moves on you

he’d be frustrated

it’s not only bad that he’s feeling this way for a human, let alone a human who can’t even feel the same way about him :(

he wishes he could’ve met you before your partner

you’ll catch him staring at you

he talks about you

too much for it to be normal

just simple things

“did you know how much y/n likes *insert thing*?”

“i watched this television clip and it reminded me of y/n.”

everything reminds him of you

he just wants to be close to you and as important to you as you are to him :(

[stillcominback]

𝚆𝙴𝙻𝙻, 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙳𝙸𝙲𝚃'𝚂 𝙸𝙽: as a lot of you may know by know [ if you've caught any of my previous posts about it ], i'm moving with my parents back to california from texas -- where i've been for about 30 years -- because overall? it'll be good for me. i'm sick of texas for the most part, i literally can't afford to live on my own [ and honestly? i like being near my parents and would just have more security and better quality of life in CA ], and i just think sometimes a change is good!

i've been waiting to see if my job will let me keep my job [ and continue to pay me dirt, even! ] ... all i was asking is that i can live in california and work remote. well, the owner has decided he will not allow me to do that. is there a good reason? in my opinion: no. he's framing it [ in his conservative white man rich business owner brain ] that I'M the one making the choice to move because i could apparently just as easily stay in texas and get my own place etc etc etc. so it's on me! unfortunately, it's just not that simple, but i guess from a guy who runs a family business and has multiple homes, it's just hard to really grasp that concept.

i'm literally so furious and so heartbroken at the same time. i know it's not the best company, and yeah i guess, we can say this is for the best in the end? but that doesn't make it hurt less. i've been there for almost 11 fucking years. my ENTIRE career out of college. through ups and downs, i was always working my ass off and being a great employee ... shining reviews and reputation with literally everyone. it just hurts that that ultimately means nothing when i'm finally asking for something in return. i take the poverty wages, take the working in the office when i hate it for the most part, i've taken having to hear misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, every-phobic thing over the years ... then i ask for ONE thing in 11 years [ that's literally not even a big ask ] and it's a ✨no✨.

i feel so lost. like i don't even know how to be without this job, and as much as people tell me YOU'RE SO TALENTED! YOU'RE SO GREAT! YOU'LL FIND SOMETHING SOOOO MUCH BETTER! i wanna believe it, but my brain just ... doesn't. maybe it's imposter syndrome or just how fucking down on myself i feel right now. i still appreciate it because i literally don't know what i would do without my friends and family's support right now like ... even if i can't see it for myself, it means the literal world to me.

plus sides [ i guess ]: i should be able to keep my laptop [ but i'll lose adobe cc so ... i may need some recs or help on how to at least get photoshop cause idk how i'll carry on without it lmao ]; my manager who is a literal saint and one of the best people i know [ she actually pissed the owner off going to the mat for me lmao "he doesn't like to be questioned" ... insert the biggest eye-roll of my life ] ... but she said she would help me with literally everything from linkedin to my resume to a portfolio, and i know that'll be like everything to me while i just .... try to navigate all of this ON TOP OF trying to move.

ALSO: i think i can work until i leave, if that's what i want to do ... i'm still trying to figure all of this out because honestly? even though it's not much? i need the money. but then i'm also like i don't wanna do the owner any favors by having me work while they maybe start putting out feelers to replace me, yknow? BUT THEN AGAIN, i'm hurting my boss more than him [ and that's the twisted, frustrated thing about all of this ... it hurts us way more than it does anything to him but he still gets to make the choice for us ]. SO! i dunno! i may just use all my PTO and see how far that gets me lmao but i feel like at the end of the day, i have to look out for myself and maybe just trying to pull in as many paychecks as i can [ since we also don't have a hard 'we're moving!' date at the moment ] is the best idea ... even if the idea of going into the office and acting normal like literally makes me so ... 😤 but i dunno! my brain is a mess! afjhksdfda

SO YEAH. i just wanted to update you guys because i do consider you friends. whether we talk a little or a lot, i appreciate all of you so much and just wanted to keep folks in the loop with where my life and my head's at right now. not the best but ... just trying to keep it moving. honestly nooooo clue when writing is gonna happen here again??? i do miss / enjoy the distraction of plotting and talking about all this stuff so don't be shy, i just don't know when i'll have the time or capacity to just write here [ maybe once we move and stuff settles a little bit? ] -- but yeah, in the meantime, please come chat with me, let's plot dynamics and all that shit because it still makes me so happy and lets me take my mind on a little vacation lmao love you all, truly! ❤️

[prettyflyshyguy]

Ok place your bets how angry am I going to get at spn for their handling of S4 Sam because Dean's right.

"So far all you've told me about is a manipulative bitch who uh, screwed you, played mind games with you and did everything in the book to get you to go bad."

Yeah babey I'm tired, it's my day off, and I've braved myself up to tackle the tumultuous S4 because it's giving mixed feelings!!!!

You know the drill. Unhinged thoughts, commentary and screaming under the cut. I've been in full media analysis mode for the last week so it might get a little academic too, who knows.

A warning - I'm not enjoying the Heaven x Hell sub plot. I know, I'm sorry (not really.) I will persist as long as I can but you can't rip seasons 1-3 out of my cold dead hands because I'm clinging to them too strongly. They just hit the spot near perfectly. World's biggest fandom member disappointment, and proud, over here.

Anyway commentary bellow!

S4E9/10 - I Know What You Did Last Summer & Heaven and Hell

Ok so, this is a real topic, and I'm going to tread lightly here, but I appreciate the sinister undertones of Ruby coming onto Sam and him actively pushing back - he's vulnerable, abusing a substance, and she's actively taking advantage of that and doesn't stop after he makes it clear he's uncomfortable the first time. A boundary is broken and pushed through. Very icky. I have seen spoilers for Ruby's character (unfortunately!) and like, have to say, she got me. But I think I'd start to really clue in with this episode that something is deeply not ok - based on that one scene alone.

I am however, deeply worried, that the emotional manipulation is not going to be handled with the consideration it needs (especially with regards to a woman coming onto a man and being too pushy) and it'll be played off lightly. I guess we'll find out. But I'm getting defensive already. Appreciate that Dean clocks it immediately however.

On a lighter note - go psychic boy go

Anytime Dean makes this face I go mental. He looks like a concerned version of the Eyes emoji. Top 10 expressions I have too much fun trying to replicate in art. Buddy being dead for 6 months must've sucked you've missed so much Oh No.

Supremely embarrassed that it ONLY JUST CLICKED that they're doing a whole Sam's with the Demons, Dean's with the Angels thing.

I'll focus in on the most specific shit and then something so blunt will fly over my big idiot head. Amazing.

Ironic of course, and clearly intentional that its cause Sam was always appointed the 'better one' but that's only cause Dean purposefully inserted himself as the moral-fall character as a way to try and protect Sam. Obsessed with that concept, not so much with the heaven v hell stuff.

REGARDLESS, two angels rocking up and Ruby's immediate response being to turn on the demon eyes makes me wonder - is this intentional - did she choose to do this, was an otherworldly force compelling her to do it?

No I'm not just asking these cause I'm cooking up ideas for Sam to get more demonic nooooooo what're you talking about noooooooo

Hilarious that Cas and his mate rock up like "Hello we are literal fucking angels, we want this human woman please we're going to kill her now, please hand her over"

like they can't just yoink her regardless.

And this is starting to stray into "Why Shy really isn't enjoying the heaven-hell stuff in spn" - which I should save for an entirely separate post, but most of it boils down to the stakes don't feel serious anymore, the comparative power levels of character's feels unbalanced, it takes away ANY weight to Sam's personal faith as a character trait, and--

I'm sorry I just cannot get behind any of it. Really dislike it. Unfortunate. Oh well. Sozzles.

Heaven and Hell was a real hard episode for me to watch for a number of reasons and overall, I deeply disliked it, but the ending scene of Dean breaking down was extremely well done so huge props for that. Fantastic writing and acting all through. Much to consider!!

S4E11 - Family remains

The summary for this one looks. Fun.

"And what am I running from?"

"What you told me. Or are we pretending that never happened?"

OUGH. OUGH. AUGH. OOMF. ACK. AUGH.

I appreciate that unlike every ghost hunter I've watched on youtube, this show recognises that EMF readers cannot be completely trusted. 10/10 thank you supernatural. One small little line about the needle being wacky, and Dean noting that there's power lines right next to the house. Love it.

Nice.

I can sense I'm going to enjoy this episode.

I LOVE A GOOD GHOST-HUNTING EPISODE!!

Also love that this episode forcibly made the boys reconcile with the confliction of killing humans vs killing creatures, but the humans were in a way like the creatures (monsters), the same way the monsters can be like humans.

Anyway, tonal whiplash, yet again with this show:

S4E12 - Chris Angel Is a Douche Bag

The Winchesters need worksafe inspector fake ID because It'd be perfect for this episode specifically

I LOVE the three older magician characters. These guys are great.

WHAT

Anyway this is a good bit. This is a really good bit.

Yeah Sammy what kind of kool aid are you drinking?????

That was.... A weird one but a fun one.

Anyway I'm really starting to feel like I want to cherry pick eps but I'm going to hold off. Till I hit S5 at least.

Like I rabidly consumed seasons 1-3 like a starving animal and now I'm reluctant to watch episodes cause I know there's good shit in here, and each episode has some important development moments for characters, or relevant plot that I want to know about so I don't feel like I can start picking and choosing episodes based on descriptions yet. But damn. Lot more misses than hits for me this season. Seriously considering buying a dvds of just S1-3 cause GODDAMN. Loved almost everything about the first three.

[i-make-fun-of-spn-characters]

I feel like Jack as a character is largely interesting/good, but the way people react to him makes me deeply uncomfortable. Like i guess you could forgive a teenager you never actually agreed to be in charge of for accidentally killing your mom, but i don’t think that should be a societal expectation. Like that’s Dean’s MOM, i don’t think Jack deserves to die obviously but why should Dean HAVE to forgive him? And the common defense that Jack is a literal baby (so he can’t be held responsible for his actions) is so weird bc… no he isn’t??? He literally isn’t a baby. And I’m okay with Dean forgiving him too, but it’s so weird that people act like it’s unreasonable to have any negative emotions about the person who killed your mom. And that’s not even getting into how many people blame Mary for her death when she did absolutely nothing wrong.

Yeah I agree with everything you said.

It is not fair to expect anyone to immediately forgive someone for killing their mom (or really expect that at all...). I would also add to this that the person Dean COULD not and WOULD not forgive...

was NOT Jack!!!!!!!

It was Soulless Jack, who cast the blame for what happened onto Mary and said it was "regrettable". So more disturbing for me than this tendency to treat Jack as a baby who isn't responsible for his actions... is this inability to see the distinction between the REAL Jack and Soulless Jack, when their differences are READILY apparent!! Jack—the real Jack—would NEVER have spoken to Sam and Dean about Mary's death the way Soulless Jack did. He would NEVER have hurt people because Dumah told him to—he would have thrown her into a wall in a fit of righteous rage and said "You're hurting people!" THAT is the REAL Jack!!! We see that we have the real Jack back when he comes back, and one of the first things he does is break down in tears and apologize genuinely for Mary. So when Dean can't forgive and he's full of rage in the aftermath of Mary's death... the person all that anger is directed at ISN'T Jack. It's a thing wearing Jack's face—devoid of the real Jack's strong moral compass and love for others which continuously counterbalanced his naivety and allowed him to parse when he was being manipulated and used by evil forces, tempered his anger, and made him who he was.

I do think part of what makes fans so angry with Dean is the lead up to this and how Dean and Jack interact in general since season 13... and some of that frustration is fair, but some of it also really... is not.

I've said before (in tags) on @dontfeedthestansaftermidnight that a lot of fandom interacts with Dean as a representation of love and belonging within the narrative instead of just as a human being. So it doesn't matter how [insert character] behaved toward him/what they did or how Dean's hurting or what's going on with him. He needs to be actively loving everyone all of the time—unconditionally—or he isn't doing his job. Only Dean's feelings need to be placed under a microscope and analyzed and judged because only his feelings (and how he displays them or doesn't) carry the weight of judgement and what it means to be loved and accepted.

Dean is kind of like... well—he's the doors and walls and windows of the Winchester family house, and he's the hearth, and almost everyone wants a piece of that warmth and that sense of belonging. This is especially apparent in the Carver era, but it ultimately prevails from the very beginning to the bitter end of the series—that Dean's love is kind of... different. It's tangible and transcendent, and it's wrought with some serious trauma that gives it sharp edges, but it's something truly special and even... coveted? What Cas said about Dean in that speech in 15x18 wasn't wrong at all—it was a testament to the power of Dean's love within the narrative.

So yeah—I think the reason we tend to see Dean judged for how he interacts with Jack isn't just because Dean is being a jerk sometimes, but also because of the power of his love specifically within the narrative, and what him specifically "rejecting" someone means to fans.

We all see Jack as a sweet kid, who deserves to be accepted, and Dean—the representation of love and belonging—really struggles to love him? Or at least in the way Jack (and Sam and Cas and most fans) would like—and that's... tough for people to accept. It makes them angry.

I think that Dean loves Jack and I think Dean believes that Jack is a good kid and I think that Dean believes that Jack deserves to be loved... but I also think there is something that makes it really difficult for Dean to give Jack the love everyone (including Dean!) would like Dean to to give Jack.

I personally think maybe Dean feels out of place in terms of how he's expected to love Jack (as a son) versus how he would prefer their relationship to look. Like—Dean taking Jack fishing when Jack is dying... to me it feels more like Dean giving Jack the thing he knows Jack really desires—the relationship he knows Jack really wants to have with Dean. I can't shake the feeling that for Dean, Jack brings up a lot of really traumatic things, and Dean knows that isn't Jack's fault (but that's hard to remember), but it also changes how Dean wants their relationship to be and the boundaries he wants to set. I think it's very significant that just one episode before Jack was born, Dean stood in Mary's dreams and told her that he had to be a mother and a father to his little brother and that that wasn't fair, and in the next episode, he loses Mary and Cas, and is saddled with someone else's child. Sam begins urging him to put aside his grief and accept a parenting role over Jack immediately. Dean's very first response to that is that he doesn't want to be Jack's mother. And I have to wonder... is that so unfair?

I think Dean has an obligation to treat Jack with decency and respect (and sometimes he fails to do this), but despite his place in the narrative and his transcendent love... Dean is actually just a guy—not the actual god of love... so while Dean's love and how it's viewed is really beautiful... it also isn't fair to Dean that these expectations of his feelings (which he can't fully control—only his actions can be controlled) are placed on him? And look—Jack isn't his son. He isn't obligated to be Jack's mother or his father and he isn't obligated to love him as a son. Dean wasn't the one who swore to love and protect Jack—that was Cas. Cas adopted him, and then immediately died, and... I don't even ship destiel, but not because I don't think there's something to it—there's some obvious implications here with what happened with Cas lying (again) to Dean and tricking (read: cheating) him right before all of this happened too—rejecting Dean's gift (the mixtape) and his request for them to work as a team in the process.

So Jack is like... well—he was literally designed by the writers to be a person that Dean would struggle to love. He represents pretty much every defining trauma of Dean's life. He represents Dean's parentification, the loss of his mother (twice), the abandonment of his father, the trauma of losing Cas over and over, Cas's secrets and betrayals, Sam and how he was unfairly and cruelly tainted from birth—slated for an evil purpose—and how Dean had to be the one to deal with that most closely (besides Sam himself). Jack also represents Dean—he is the child forced to grow up too fast, and that is also Dean (and this last one absolutely sets the groundwork for a lot of their interactions and similarities in terms of self-sacrifice and being weaponized).

Mary being blamed for her death is also gross and I don't feel any need to comment any further on that and all the problems in fandom that this relates to.

[queenhellwitch]

I'm so sick of writing this essay every day.

It WAS out of character, but it was written, so you have to find Sam's truth in it, as Jared once said. Everyone goes straight to, "well, Dean was ANGRY that Sam didn't look for him, so Sam was WRONG TO CHOOSE TO DO THAT." Do we honestly think that Sam stood there in that lab, wide-eyed and hyperventilating in front of Crowley and his taunting, thinking "Well damn, Dean's gone, I'm going to CHOOSE not to look for him." Not being facetious, because he might've done (it is, after all, the rational choice considering all the harm to creation they've caused as a team (and that's also kind of the truth Sam offers to Dean, when he later tries and fails to explain it to him).

So *was* it a conscious plan to offhandedly abandon his brother? I think not. Because we're shown throughout the seasons that Sam is usually such an analytical, practical person, and insanely single-minded and vengeful when it comes to saving Dean - even in the direst of straits, Sammy keeps his head; hits the lore, solves the problem. In character, he would've found out he was in Purgatory, he would've summoned Death and begged him for another random eclipse (another of which, by the way, had already been outright refused).

So why does nobody ever offer Sam grace and consider *why was he out of character?* It's because he was reeling. He'd lost everyone he'd ever loved, he was still absolutely swamped by guilt, head swimming with Hell trauma that had nearly killed him. He was running on fumes already at the end of season 7. He had no Bunker at that point, no comfort, no Bobby anymore. The angels were d1cks. No demons would make a deal. All he had left, and all he could do, was go back to the car. "I fixed up the Impala, and I drove." The scenes where he hit the dog, he was absolutely frantic. Reminded again how much pain and destruction he causes. Amelia was a lifeline, an (unhappy imo) accident - she just happened. He wasn't chasing happiness, or a normal life at that point. Just running.

So thoughts of Dean, the Life, Kevin, everything unfinished would come back and poke at his brain... At that point, do you stay hiding, buried, living in a motel, clinging to someone who makes you a birthday cake, fixing sinks, not being traumatised, abandoned, hospitalised, killed? Or do you give yourself an shake and say "c'mon Sam, stand up and find your brother, have the audacity to insert yourself back into a world where your *very existence* killed him, made his life hell, made his death literal hell, killed your own mother, father, the love of your life, millions of others, caused apocalypse, destroyed Kevin's life, got *his* girlfriend killed...

He, of course, can't say all that to Dean. How can he?

"we promised we weren't going to look for each other" - it's easier - prove it was a rational choice. "I met a girl and decided not to hunt anymore" - ok, Dean will be angry, but Dean's anger is usual, normal, and easier to deal with than facing Dean's disappointment in Sam's unravelling.

I might be overanalysing and giving him too much credit. But he deserves it and this is a Sam-positive post. And if you watch the scene with Cas and Sam in the cartoon world in Hunteri Heroici, you can *see* it. His ranting at Fred about living in a dream world isn't about Fred. It's all about his own anger at himself, taking on board yet more guilt, because he can never do anything right. He's more than out of character. He's an absolute mess.

[girlyaois]

💌, ❤️, and 💭 for your spn S/I!!

💌 - any major changes in your selfship lore over time? if so, compare how it used to be with how it's now.

oh man! yeah, theres been some big changes over the years.. she sort of evolved alongside me, and its lore changed to fit what i needed at the time(s). i believe the concept of being part demon part angel was always a thing, but i developed what that means for him over time, how that works, etc. at first he was essentially just some lame transmasc kid (kid in the way a 20 yo is a kid) with a father who was king of hell and a boyfriend who was an archangel. i didnt even have the castiel stuff developed yet... now, the lore and relationships get a bit complex because ive played around with so many ideas. she's now essentially castiel's twin/sibling but in the complex unlike humanity way that angels would experience siblinghood? it chose to fall, leaving cas behind, but he always watched over her during her time as a human. most of it at least. after his 2nd fall, becoming a demon, and "meeting" castiel (again), they don't recognize each other. it takes a bit and some weird supernatural plotline about souls and angel grace for that. + now i have a bunch of au's where i ship myself with different characters, 4 fun. (fun fact, i kept accidentally imagining crowley calling me his daughter, and it kind of aided in me realizing i was genderfluid/bigender & not just a trans guy. the s/i's gender identity changed to match as well (: )

❤️ - any favourite reoccurring scenario?

a bit embarassing but the #1 reoccurring scenario is just several different ways of me being comforted by my familial f/o's. mostly crowley, sometimes cas or the winchesters, if i were braver id think about rowena. my evil grandma. a scene that plays pretty often in my mind is very self indulgent "being grounded by castiel/cas supporting me through Mental Horrors"

i also like thinking about lucifer being obsessed with me a Loottt like lol you want me soo bad. but also like. the mutually toxic cishet (despite not being cis or het) couple trope where im psychologically war-faring him. its ok and ethical hes literally satan and a deadbeat dad. but i love him ^_^ ... but embarassingly pt 2 a very reoccuring daydream involving him is just him being genuinely sweet & loving .. satan is capable of love too guys

i keep going back to daydream about my self insert's time spent as a human girl, running away from home, selling her soul to crowley, (and most importantly of all) how that relationship develops with time, and the awkward beginnings of a young girl imprinting on the king of the crossroads who did NOT sign up to be summoned by a teenage girl just because shes lonely.

LATE SEASONS BUNKER SHENANIGANS!!! i play around a LOT with imagining im annoying the winchesters or that theyre annoying me in like. almost a slice of life way in the bunker. i mess around with a lot of random magic ideas too , ive got a bunch of random "episodes" written out in my mind cuz i wanted to think and giggle about unfortunate magical spells. brb turning dean into a hamster

💭 - are you more of a "has everything written down" self shipper or a "what happens in my daydreams STAYS in my daydreams" self shipper?

im the "wants to write a full length novel about my s/i one day but i have adhd" self shipper. ive written nothing but i want to beam my thoughts into everyone elses minds. you will watch supernatural rewritten with me in it boy

[kimchokejin]

Tag game - bts this or that

Tagged by @blueside-hobi thank you I've secretly always wanted to do one of these because I have OPINIONS. This isn't normal but I'm explaining my rationale for all of them because I need you to know why I chose what I chose

Idk how to insert a read more on mobile sorry

bubble tea with namjoon OR smoothies with jin

1. I love bubble tea

2. Maybe I'm drinking my tea and I accidentally suck up a boba and I start choking and then he tries to give me the heimlich and it's not like it's gonna work but I don't think I'm gonna die choking on a boba. But it's like one of those cute romcom moments where after you just kinda look at each other and get embarrassed but it builds the romantic tension? It's cute okay

3. If I choked on a piece of frozen fruit jin would just laugh at me

play among us with yoongi OR play minecraft with hoseok

1. Among us is fun

2. Yoongi would be a GREAT opponent

3. Idk how to play minecraft that would be a disaster

learn all the BTS dances OR learn all the BTS song lyrics

1. I'm not a good dancer

2. I like to sing and attempt to rap and if I don't learn the lyrics to bts songs I'm still gonna try and sing along except its more like I just make sounds with the right melody and rhythm and some of the right vowels and that's just not great for anyone

3. There are more opportunities to sing along to bts songs than there are to dance along to bts songs. And you need a group of people to learn the dance with you or else you're gonna look stupid

hang out with bts backstage after a show OR have BTS perform a private gig for you and your friends

1. Both of these sound horrible tbh but if bts were performing a private gig for me and my friends (a VERY small group of people) that would be the most uncomfortable experience ever. They would just be looking at me and I would be looking at them and they would be singing. That's just so weird

2. Maybe I would get free drinks backstage and I can just sit with yoongi in the corner on my phone

meet taehyung dressed as a cucumber OR meet jungkook with food spilled down your shirt

1. Who's the cucumber? Is it me or taehyung? I love the english language

2. Either way it's just funny

3. I don't want food on my shirt! That's my shirt!

hang out with BTS or have BTS want to hang out with you

1. What if I'm hanging out with bts and they don't want to hang out with me? I would peel my skin off

2. I like to appear cool and unattainable 😎

cuddle with hoseok OR work out with jungkook

1. I'm nervous

2. I literally...I had a phase where I was like, I want to build up my upper body strength because I wanna be able to pick people up like it was nothing. And I started doing pushups to daechwita every day. It didn't last but I do still want to do that so who better to learn from???

cook with jin OR cook with yoongi

1. Jin can't eat garlic. Who wants to eat food without garlic

2. Jin would probably get so impatient with me I am so slow when I cook

3. Yoongi would be really patient and if he got impatient he would take over but not give me the "do I have to do everything around this house" spiel and I wouldn't actually have to cook that much which is probably for the best

get singing lessons from vocal line OR get rapping lessons from rap line

1. I have vocal lesson trauma

2. I wanna learn how to rap so bad!!!

visit paris with taehyung OR visit greece with namjoon

1. I've been to athens before and the vibes were immaculate

2. It's warmer there and I'm a chilly little baby

3. Namjoon would want to go to all the museums

have jimin's fashion style or have jungkook's fashion style

Why can't I do both 😭

spill a drink on namjoon OR spill a drink on jimin

1. He's either gonna have a wet t shirt or he's gonna have to take off his shirt. Its a win win

2. They're both gonna spill drinks on themselves anyway so I don't feel bad

look after min holly OR look after kim yeontan

1. I've heard yeontan has some health problems and I just don't trust myself to be able to take care of him properly

2. If I take good care of yoongi's favorite dog maybe I'll be his favorite girl 😏

Tell BTS your most embarrassing confession (about them) OR tell Jimin he’s short

1. I don't even know which embarrassing confession to CHOOSE

2. Jimin knows he's short it's fine

go to the amusement park with hoseok OR go to the movie theatre with jungkook

1. We would both be babies about the scary rides together

2. He would probably buy me a souvenir

3. I don't like amusement parks tbh but I wanna hang out with hobi 😊

accidentally wake up yoongi OR mess up a dance move in front of hoseok

1. I have no idea what yoongi would do if he was woken up suddenly. I fear for my life

2. If I mess up a dance move in front of hobi he would probably give me a disappointed look and that's kinda hot

squish jimin's mochi cheeks OR touch jin's WWH face OR poke namjoon's dimples

1. Why would you say that

2. Poking is just a little bit annoying. Squishing is VERY annoying. Touching is just mortifying

3. I would sing dimple in my head while I was doing it. I love that song

I'm embarrassed to tag anyone but if you see this and wanna do it say I tagged you!!! These games are so funny to me I would love to see your choices

[anything-but-predictable]

For the past few months my level of anxiety had been sky rocketing high.

Received the result of my cervical biopsy today which thank God came back negative for CA. Apparently, abnormal cell growth was detected during my cervical screening on November last year and my GP referred me to a Gyne specialist for further review and got diagnosed with CIN 3 or high Grade 0 cervical dysplasia which if left untreated can eventually lead to cancer.

Fuck me, I was overwhelmed with fear right at that moment when I was told by my Gyne specialist. God knows how much I am praying na sana even at my late 30s I could still conceive. Right there and then, on my own, I was told that I have to undergo LLETZ (large loop electrical excision) procedure where a large loop wire has to be inserted in the cervix to remove the abnormal cells and I’m not kidding when I tell you that it was bloody painful despite of 4 shots of regional anesthesia. I fainted and literally felt my heart pounding. But if I won’t be able to tolerate the procedure then I will be booked for OR table which I really don’t want as it would make me feel that it’s officially major. I remember biting my lips so hard during the whole procedure. I told the Dr that I wanna do it right away coz there’s no point on delaying if it needs to be done anyway and I just want to get over it. So it was done and the excised specimen was sent to lab for biopsy, which took painstakingly looong.

Three things na iniisip isip ko after that. First, my main concern is kung papaano ko sasabihin sa parents and sister ko if say I have cancer, I feel like I could easily process and accept it than them. It will break their hearts and that I’m not really sure if I can handle. We have lost one of our sister when I was a teenager and I don’t even want to relive what we went through after we lost her. My parent’s just don’t deserve to go through that pain and agony again in their life.

Second is, I feel bad for myself coz I am praying so hard na sana I would still be capable of conceiving in the future, honestly I don’t know when. I try to remind myself na di pwedeng just because I’m kind of desperate to have a baby is kung sino sino na lang. My children cannot choose their father but I can, not that Im saying Im perfect but hell no Im not nor nowhere near that but, I know what I deserve and as well as for my future children. I want to experience motherhood and seeing my children grow up and be a hands-on mum.

Third and last is Im grateful that Im insured, and that healthcare in the UK is free. Like literally you go in the hospital penniless but no worries at all dahil ni pence wala kang babayaran maski chemo, radiation or whatever therapies or even surgery that you have to undergo. How I wish na ganito din tayo sa Pinas. ☹️ Also, Grabe pala yung feeling pag insured ka, I didn’t realize how important it is not until I was almost get diagnose with Cancer. I mean if anything happens, the least among all the worries my family have to think about is money because I’m covered. It’s literally a security blanket considering that I am the 🥖 winner in the family.

I cant help not to overthink during that time. Ikaw ba naman kaya ang nearly diagnose to have CA. Inisip ko na ayoko magalit kay Lord because, as cliché as it sounds, I believed that everything happens for a reason, whatever it may be, hindi man natin maintindihan right at that moment, but eventually along the way, life unfolds itself. And I always tell sa lahat ng prayers ko na kahit ano pa man yun will ni Lord no matter how painful it could be, I know He knows better than I do, kaya dun ako. Let thy will be done. 🙏🏻

Quite a long read but yeah, my heart is full. ✨

[swordofsun]

I posted 3,394 times in 2022

That's 2,656 more posts than 2021!

153 posts created (5%)

3,241 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sidewalk-scrawls

@deanandkastiel

@jewishdeanwinchester

@aceofthegreenajah

@thycatsays

I tagged 1,745 of my posts in 2022

Only 49% of my posts had no tags

#wheel of time - 226 posts

#wot book spoilers - 136 posts

#the boys - 104 posts

#the boys spoilers - 88 posts

#wot on prime - 80 posts

#spnwin - 57 posts

#stranger things - 42 posts

#the winchesters - 38 posts

#the magnus archives - 36 posts

#leverage - 35 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#then dean and cas talked about his deal with the empty and carefully held hands as we closed on them starting to research how to fix things

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

There should be one of those reblog game things where we just say The most fucked up scene from Animorphs that still lives in our heads. Occasionally coming out to remind you that those books were Fucked Up.

Mine would be the time Marco almost got stuck as a flea and only managed to partially de-morph so he was a human sized flea and Cassie had to gently hold giant flea Marco and talk him through his panic attack so he could finish de-morphing.

139 notes - Posted February 4, 2022

#4

Okay, @wigglebox wanted me to post this over here and they would follow up with their bonkers dutch angles stuff.

This is a "what the fuck is Dean doing in The Winchesters" theory. It takes Chuck Won as a given and is based on how insanely meta s15 was on top of the show being meta a fuck + the SPNWIN preview and the couple of scenes of tv static + Cas literally being narrative breaking + general vibes.

At some point after the end of 15x18 and the beginning of 15x20 Dean literally stepped out of the narrative. What we're seeing is Chuck's POV. This is the ending he wanted, the ending we never really got to see but that Becky hated so damn much. (Becky the audience insert that is given an absolutely lovely life to show how much the show cares for it's audience.) The Dean we see is a Chuck puppet or illusion of some sort.

Chuck may not have realized Dean stepped out of the narrative.

The real Dean, The True Dean, is off to the side. Just out of sight of the camera, watching it all go down. He can't effect anything because Sam and other Dean (if there even is an Other Dean) just go through the motions. Even more disturbing if it's like in Heaven when someone steps out of the memory and everyone else just continues on like they're there. There's no pie, no one on the piece of rebar, just Sam reacting as if there was. No one driving the Impala, just Chuck controlling everything.

Cas was literally narrative breaking. He didn't do what Chuck wanted and, through the power of love (an actual thing in SPN), Dean is able to make that step too. Just off camera where we can't see him watching.

So the Dean that we see in the SPNWIN preview is searching for the point where the narrative started. He's going back over his parent's story to figure out just when Chuck started actively taking an meddling role. With the end result a Cas rescue from the Empty and actually defeating Chuck.

(And possible AU where we get to see Mary and John without heaven's influence?)

139 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

#3

Sometimes it still amazes me that Stellar Firma really said:

Some people can be so bought into the system that even when they acknowledge the problems they will refuse to admit the system is at fault (Enola)

Even the most die-hard of revolutionaries can get lost when shown the decadence of the ruling class (David 7)

The most morally corrupt person you know can learn empathy and take up the fight (Trexel)

The only ethical solution to end-stage capitalism is to put everyone in the escape pods and hit the self-destruct button

That was a show.

202 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

#2

The important thing to remember about Rand al'Thor is that when he doesn't know what to do next he consults the prophecies that have been written about him for guidance.

The next important thing to remember is that while he's a giant nerd he's not classically trained so he'll jump to some wild ass conclusions.

The final thing to remember is that because he's Rand al'Thor he'll almost always be right about those conclusions.

272 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Yes, Harvey Dent is a Good Guy. That's part of his whole thing. He was Bruce Wayne's best friend and possibly the only honest DA in Gotham. He did good things and was a nice and honest person.

He's not Two Face yet! And even when he does become Two Face he's still a good guy approximately 50% of the time. That's where the coin flipping comes in. This is why Two Face is such an iconic villian and why you need a really great character actor foe the role. Once Harvey becomes Two Face the actor is essentially playing Two characters.

I'm so excited to see Misha sink his teeth into this role.

872 notes - Posted May 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[udon-poodles]

"Because spn is like the oldest one there and wasn't retarded until like season 7 and wasn't reeeeaaally gay until like season 8"

It was literally never gay and it was always garbage

Once Cas showed up, it became a little homo-erotic, delectably so. Seasons 1-5 were preeeeeeeetty choice 👌

Honestly, the only enjoyable part of seasons 6-whatever was when the Donald Trump insert got possessed by Lucifer and impregnated a staffer with that nephilim.

Like, when Sam and Dean went to exorcize Lucifer (because you can suddenly do that with angels 🙄), saving Donald Trump in the process, it was some of the funniest shit I've ever seen.

They get arrested and taken to a CIA black site somewhere in Montana, or whatever, and escape because muh plot. And these two 40 year old alcoholics are just trapsing through to woods with seal-team 6 after them, and they somehow fend them off and escape 😭

Literal peak moment in the show for me. Almost makes everything post-season 5 worth it tbh. No one ever talks about it either, feels like I'm the only one who fucking watched it.

[tmrrwppl]

Part 2 || Part 1

Let's just say that Clari did not take well to finding out that Jedikiah Price-- the literal boogeyman of every Tomorrow Person in the Lair, the reason John was fucked up, the reason her brother was shot, the reason Irene was shot, the reason 3 of their own died, the reason she was shot, the reason they were underground in the first place, the closest thing to the human!Satan there could possibly be, etc etc etc-- was her father.

That hairpin trigger on anger is quite notably a Price family trait. (Looking at you, Stephen!)

Now, in the main verse, Clari does not find out until she goes to save proto!John. At this point, Cas is dead (by John's hand), Clari is basically on her own to protect the Lair Dwellers, and Morgan is in the wind with Jedikiah's other child.

So when Jed tells her... She realizes just how alone she is, she realizes Jed is capitalizing on this fact. She had no one left, and is prime for seeking out some sort of familiar bond... Which is why she went after John in the first place, despite him killing Cas... John is her only family she has left other than Morgan (who can't be touched by Jedikiah-- who is not only gone, but tied to this monster with his child-- her half sibling), and she can even forgive John for what he did since he was brainwashed.

Jed spills the beans on her. And she knows it's a manipulation tactic--- and more embarrassingly... It fucking works. Jed is fully aware he deserves every single punch she throws at him, and let's her hit him until John pulls her back.

But Clari is more than angry at Jed. She's angry at everything. Her mother, her (step)father, Jed, herself, the world. It was all so unfair and so unkind and cruel to have happened the way it did. And she's angry at herself for entertaining the mere idea of 'what if my mother had given me to Jedikiah instead of keeping me when she didn't want me.' And it's a what if scenario that begins to eat at her from the inside.

What if. What if. What if.

Things could have been so much different, and maybe even better.

Deep down, Clari is fully aware... she's Jed's other opportunity to be a father. John panned out in a terrible failure, Morgan with baby Roger was in the wind and unwilling to see Jedikiah much... But here she was, she waltzed right in asking for acceptance, and he had given her it. But she knows Jedikiah, able to recognize they both think too similarly. He's banking on her needing that acceptance. Banking on her needing and wanting a family. A family that he has now inserted himself into. And she hates him for it. Because he is right. Especially when, once she found them, he let her in. And he was relatively kind about the whole thing. And actually apologetic for what happened to Cas, as John didn't know. Jed knows Morgan and Clari are best friends, ironic to him since Morgan is her step mother in a sense, Jed knows Clari is one of the only people to genuinely help Morgan-- and maybe it's because there was a connection between the fetus and Clari, recognition of kin, but Jed knows Clari won't chance another child growing up without their father... So, Clari's stuck. Jed knows that. Clari knows that.

So she is hella pissed, helpless, and is fully aware Jed is manipulating her, even if there is a slightly decent intention behind it.

[and-stir-the-stars]

dean really did look Cas in the eye and say that everything that went wrong was because of him, huh. His and Sam’s jobs is literally to care about other people and save them, especially when it comes to family, but they just ignored all the pain Cas was feeling, therefore telling him that he was neither a person nor family. 

And then Cas just. Let them make him feel broken. He never stopped to wonder if it was even true, or to wonder whether being broken would legitimately mean he deserved to suffer and to do so alone, whether he deserved to have Jack be killed in his arms by the father Cas loved and devoted himself to and turned to for guidance nearly the entirety of his life with little more than a snap of his fingers. Cas had just been forced into Hell, the place that holds traumatic memories for him, had just been forced to feel every last cell of his son’s body burn under his fingertips as a demon cried out for mercy with his son’s voice. And he didn’t get any sympathy from the Winchesters, which of course translated into him not deserving sympathy. And then dean tells him why: it was because of you. Your mess. Your fault.

Cas didn’t even get to be angry. Not over how they treated him, or how they treated Jack. Instead he just left, not even to protect himself as I previously thought, just as yet another way to keep from burdening the Winchesters with his brokenness and uselessness.