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petrichorvidae · 1 day

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Mushy May Day 2: Late night snacks

Rating: Teen Word count: 3,560 Pairing(s): Swiss/Dewdrop + some Phantom/Rain heavily implied on the side, as a treat. Additional: Recreational drug use, minor blood and injury, references to sex, the ever-looming threat of an earth ghoul whose weed was stolen, and the existence of cheese singles. Summary: Dewdrop and Swiss raided Mountain's personal stash, and now they raid the kitchen too! Link to it on AO3 for those who prefer!

I had to take a day off for health reasons, and then I forgot to post this last night, but now I'm back with some swissdew shenanigans!

Once again, a huge thanks to @forlorn-crows for organizing Mushy May!

~~~~~~~~~~

Dew woke up with a start when something wet touched him, hissing out into the open air and looking around wildly trying to find whatever unknown had dared to disturb his sleep. His body was still adjusting to the suddenness of being awake, and that didn’t play favourites with his eyes, so he wasn’t able to do much more than squint and swish his tail back and forth in agitation.

“Whuh…!?” Seems his brain is still too mushy from sleep to even finish getting out a single coherent word.

He continued to swish his tail but his hiss faded away into a low growl, near-silent in volume as he was far too tired to do anything more. Dew kept blinking his eyes hoping to open them each time with a newly granted sense of sight, and if he had energy left in him he would have jumped for joy when he finally acclimated to the light. Wait, why would the light be on?

He feels stupid when he goes to pull his blanket off of him only to find that it’s not there, as a matter of fact, it’s nowhere to be found in the room, which only serves to add yet another layer to his confusion. He wouldn’t be caught dead without that thing, be it in his bunk in a tour bus, serving as a protective layer between him and whatever uncomfortable sheets the hotel they’re staying at has, or just as a source of comfort and warmth back here, home, in the abbey. Not that he needed the additional warmth though, definitely not with how things had been warming up recently combined with his Fire ghoul nature.

He looked to his side, hoping maybe he had kicked it away in his sleep after getting too hot or something, but instead, he was met with the glorious sight of none other than Swiss, sleeping like a rock, snoring louder than even Aether, and with a long and luxurious strand of drool trailing down the side of a pillow he was holding onto for dear life. And then everything clicked.

Memories flooded Dew’s head of how he and Swiss had broken into Mountain’s stash earlier that evening, getting their grubby mitts into the real good shit that he usually kept for himself, giant selfish bastard. He also remembered how they had then raided his entire Stash and left very few survivors in their wake, and how they then locked themselves in Swiss' room before participating in some stupid fucked up contest of seeing who could smoke through the most of it in a single day. Dew looked back to Swiss again, that puddle of drool had definitely grown by a few centimetres since he’d last looked. Judging by the state of him, and how Swiss was apparently dead to the world, they probably weren’t finding out who had won any time soon. Dewdrop groans and flops back down onto the bed. Of course, the one thing he couldn’t recall was both the reason for and the result of them getting into this mess.

What he hadn’t been anticipating was for his coordination to still be a little off after only being awake for a few short minutes, and thus he hadn’t been expecting his elbow to hit a sleeping Swiss right in the face. Swiss’ poor nose certainly hadn’t been expecting it, that’s for sure.

The most pathetic and hurt-sounding yelp he’s ever heard let Dew know that all those comments about his elbows being unusually bony may have some basis in truth after all. The ghoul that was dead asleep just a few seconds ago was now wide awake and hunched over himself while he clutches his nose. What Dew thinks is the slightest dribble of blood serves to sober him up a bit from his self-imposed high. He immediately starts looking around before finding what he’s looking for, locating the box of tissues on the nightstand next to Swiss’ bed and grabbing it before he can think too long about why it would be there in the first place.

“Ah shit! M’so sorry Swiss, didn’ mean to.” He blabbers out an attempt of an apology as he holds the tissues out to Swiss, who now has tears of pain threatening to spill at the corners of his eyes as he snatches the tissues from Dew, hissing at him all the while, and, yeah, he did kinda deserve that.

“Th’fuck s’wrong with you? F’ckin’ asshole.” Not even the shock of having his nose bashed by Dewdrop’s elbow could truly wake up Swiss, as it would seem. In true Swiss fashion, the larger ghoul continued to spit and hiss out more slurred insults at the smaller while he grabbed a bunch of the tissues and held them up to his bloody nose which would definitely have a pretty purple bruise on it later on that would lead to them being subjected to another of Aether’s interrogations while the Quintessence ghoul would try to figure out how two idiots like them survived for long enough in the pit to be summoned, just for them to be even bigger dumbasses.

Once Swiss had cleaned up his face and shook off his shame from being defeated by Dew’s bony as-shit elbow of all things, the Multi decided to dedicate the rest of his life to giving the Fire ghoul the dirtiest look he could muster. He wasn’t even giving him daggers now, he was giving him full-on swords. It was almost funny how mad he was trying to look, his nose all scrunched up with his ears down, fur puffed up to further set in how pissed he was with him at the moment. And yet, Dew wouldn’t forget this moment between them for Swiss' ire, which he had rightfully earned to be fair, but for how that heated silence was suddenly broken by one of the loudest growls he had ever heard come from Swiss' stomach.

They stared at each other, both looked down at Swiss' stomach, and immediately looked right back up to each other again, before simultaneously bursting out into a fit of giggles. All of Dew’s elbow’s transgressions are forgotten as they roll around on top of Swiss' bed.

After a few minutes of giggling and another interruption, this time from Dew’s stomach, Swiss finally let out his first fully formed words since he’d been so rudely woken up. “Woah, easy there tiger, don’t gotta go roaring at me.” He put his hands up in a mock surrender “How ‘bout we go and raid the kitchen for whatever good stuff we can find? We can bring it back here and have ourselves a feast.”

Dewdrop thought about it, and he was really hungry now that they’d both been made aware by their bodies, and rather loudly at that. But, and there was always a but, Dewdrop looked over to the locked door leading out into the hallway and his thoughts stilled for a moment. The whole reason it had been locked in the first place was because they both Mountain would be out for blood once he found his stash desecrated and gone, and another memory from the evening was returned to him, this one of Mountain pounding on the door when he had finally found out what they’d done, and how the only thing stopping him from going through with his threat to kick down the door and collect retribution for his precious weed was Aether quite literally dragging him away to cool down a bit if the scuffle they had heard was anything of substance. One thing was gnawing away at his mind right now, and he made sure to voice it; “What if he’s still out there.”

Swiss understood what he meant, and looked like he was speedrunning through the exact thought process Dew had just gone through judging by the slight panic in his eyes, but apparently, he wasn’t anywhere as worried as Dew was, because he just shrugged.

“You got any idea what time it is?”

Dewdrop chews at his lip before digging around for his phone. He manages to find it under a pillow, the very same one that now had a damp spot from Swiss drooling on it, gross. After a more than slightly judgemental look sent the taller ghoul’s way, Dewdrop turns the screen on and goes to look at the time. Swiss leans over his shoulder to take a peek for himself.

Both of them are left in silent shock at the time.

“Shit…”

“Did we really sleep for that long?”

“Must have, the phone doesn’t lie Dewbug.”

“Thought I told you to stop calling me that.” The Fire ghoul hissed, though they both knew it didn’t have any real bite to it.

“But it’s just so fun getting to see your cheeks go red like that, Dewbug.” There it was again, that toothy grin that would make a baby cry. And speaking of the devil, the Multi’s teasing paid off when he got to watch as his partner tried to hide himself amongst the pillows. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that the very blush he was referring to would be found spreading its way across Dew’s cheeks at that very moment if anyone were to get a good look.

With perfect timing as always, Swiss' stomach chooses that moment to remind the two of their shared hunger, possibly saving Dewdrop from any further torment and teasing.

Getting back on track, Swiss pads his way over to the door and opens the bolt lock, but before he can even get his hand on the handle Dew is diving across the bed and towards him. “Wait!”

Swiss gives him a look that hopefully reads as ‘You really wanna starve in here?’, but goes out of his way to voice the rhetorical question anyway.

“I mean, no, but-”

“Excellent! Then let’s get-a-going and get some grub.” And with that, Swiss swings the door open, but is careful to make sure it doesn’t bang against the wall and make a noise. He may be crazy, but he doesn’t want to risk being the one to disturb anyone’s sleep. Then they’ll really be helpless when Mountain inevitably gets his claws on them. “Just, y’know, be quiet. Sneaky.” He adds in a hushed tone with a wink at the end for emphasis. And with that, the two ghouls are slowly and stealthy tiptoeing their way down the hallway, making their way to the den and by extension the kitchenette as they pass by the doors to all the rooms that the band ghouls call home. They can hope each and every one of them is occupied by sleeping ghouls, especially as they pass by the room of a certain abnormally tall Earth ghoul. Step after step, they slowly inched their way down the hall, getting closer and closer to their goal.

Finally, the narrow length of the hallway spreads out into a much wider and vastly more spacious common room, or the den as it’s come to be known. The room is near pitch black in the dark of the night, and with their minds still a little hazy from all the weed they had indulged themselves with smoking several hours ago, even with their more advanced ghoulish eyesight, they can't really make much of anything out. Swiss, showing a brief moment of rationality and even using a little logic to boot, reaches out to his side where he knew the lightswitch to be and suddenly the large space is flooded with light, though thankfully on a dimmer setting so it isn’t too much of a shock to their eyes.

What does come as a shock, is the ghoul staring at the pair from where they stand by the kitchenette, looking like a deer caught in headlights, a freshly opened pack of crackers in one hand and an entire brand new tube of Primula cheese in the other.

The atmosphere is palpable, the tension in the room so thick you could cut it, right up until a cracker falls out from the packaging and clatters when it hits the floor, that is.

“Phantom? Why the hell are you up at this time?”

That seems to make the Quintessence bristle up a did. His ears pull back when he whisper-shouts a defensive and very creative “Why are you!?”

Swiss and Dew look at each other at the exact same time, both thinking about whether they should tell him about their escapades and Mountain.

“Uhm… stuff…” Dew blurts out. Very articulated. Swiss gives him a look but he just shrugs. Well, what did the Multi want him to say?

“Hey, are those Cirrus’ crackers?” Swiss tries to deflect Phantom’s deflection, and it seems to work as Phantom is immediately right back to looking like he’d just been caught with his pants down.

Looking around and finding no way to escape from the situation, Phantom resigns and answers the question. “Yes…”

Oh, this was gonna be good. It’s nice to know they weren’t the only ones dumb enough to steal from their packmates tonight. Everyone knows how defensive Cirrus can get over her snacks, and those crackers were her favourite. The fact that they’d only just been bought and she hasn’t even gotten a chance to try them yet will just add to the drama of all this.

“Oooh~ Somebody’s gonna be in trouble~”

Phantom snaps his gaze right over to Dew, glaring at him while he utters his next words. “You don’t tell Cirrus it was me, and I don’t tell Mountain.”

Dewdrop just had to go and tease him.

“Ha, nice try kid, but the big guy already knows all about what we did.”

“Trust me, we all know.” Phantom puts it bluntly, and it doesn’t come as a surprise at all considering how loud Mountain had been earlier, and that was just what they heard through the door. “I meant I won’t tell him exactly where you guys will be tomorrow.” When raises an eyebrow at him. “I’ve been speaking to Sunny, and I’ve seen your guys’ schedules for your chores tomorrow. I’ll do it.” Oh, okay, so the new kid had finally grown some fangs it would seem. Swiss almost barks out a laugh from the shock of it all, who knew Phantom of all ghouls would be the one threatening to sic a pissed-off Mountain on them?

“Okay, okay, you win kid. Sheesh.”

And with that, they seem to slip into a truce of sorts. Phantom sets his pilfered crackers and squeezy cheese off to the side so he can find a plate, and Swiss and Dew walk past him to start rummaging through the cupboards and fridge for anything that speaks to their hunger at the moment. Swiss flipped through the cupboards whilst Dew searched through the fridge.

“All I’ve got here is a bag of chips and a half-empty box of breadsticks that may or may not be on their way to going stale already, any luck over there?” When Swiss receives no reply he looks to check on Dew, and finds his companion doing a silly victory dance as he holds up a pack of some deli meat like it’s the cub in that one lion film they’d watched a couple months back. Swiss had to bite his tongue and hold back whatever laugh or teasing comment he would have let out. It was just so pure. They were both still decently high from Mountain’s weed, raiding the kitchen in the midst of the night as quickly as possible so they could return to Swiss’ room to continue hiding from Mountain’s wrath, and Swiss couldn’t bring himself to look away from Dew. He wondered if this was what people mean when they say that it sometimes feels as if time has frozen when they look at their partners.

“Dew, you look ridiculous.” And the moment is ruined. Swiss turns to bare his fangs slightly at the younger ghoul but Phantom is unphased and just sticks his tongue out in return, the cheeky fucker. By the time Swiss turns back to Dew, he’s finished his celebration and has placed the pack of sliced meat on the nearby side, right next to where Swiss has placed his findings, before diving back on in to grab the final piece to make this meal truly perfect.

“Boom! Cheese singles.” He smirks up at Swiss while she waves the individually packaged slices of processed cheese in his face, positively pleased at himself with his findings.

Phantom decides to pipe in again from over by where he’s now got everything he needs, the entire tube of Primula now squeezed out onto the plate with a knife carefully placed beside it, his crackers still in their pack off to the side where he’d been snacking on a few when trying to find the knife and plate. Truly a charcuterie board for kings. “You’re seriously gonna eat those? Are they even real cheese?”

Dewdrop is quick to defend himself. “First of all, yes, I am seriously gonna eat these cheese singles, and I’m gonna love every second of it. And second, I’m not gonna be judged by the ghoul who is about to eat a fuckton of crackers with squeezy cheese!” He presses an accusatory finger into Phantom’s chest. Now with being so close to him, Dewdrop takes in how the ghoul is blatantly wearing clothes that aren’t his. The shirt is obviously one of Dew’s, while not tight it was definitely on the shorter side and left a bit of Phantom’s tummy out for all to see, and if he had to take a guess on the owner of the slightly too-big boxers he had on Swiss was probably the safest bet. He didn’t miss the messy hair or how a certain bassist’s scent was clinging to him like moss to a rock right now either, and gave the ghoul a small grin and a nod of acknowledgment before deciding to tease him some more.

“I’m gonna want to wash that in the morning, aren’t I?” He refers to the shirt.

“Someone’s going to be losing their weed privileges, aren’t they?” Phantom shoots right back.

“Touché.”

“Too soon, man, too soon.” Swiss can be heard whining from off to the side of their little standoff.

“Alright, I’m heading off now. Good luck I guess, you’ll need it.” Phantom stretched for a second before grabbing his plate and crackers and heading back towards his room, where there was no doubt a Water ghoul would be awaiting his return.

“We know.” They reply in unison and wave him off before they go grab their harvest and do the same.

Swiss is emptying all of the chips and breadsticks out into two separate bowls when they’re alerted by another door down in the hallway opening, that eerie creak causing their hackles to become raised and their ears to pull back. Dewdrop instinctively put himself between the hallway and his precious cheese singles and meat slices, ready to defend this meal with his life. “Who’s there?” Swiss calls out into the dark hallway.

Their blood runs cold when it’s none other than Mountain who emerges from the dark hallway into the dim, though still much brighter, light of the den, his imposing figure slowly approaching them with heavy steps. Swiss sidesteps over to Dew and holds the Fire ghoul’s hand in his, it was his idea to raid Mountain’s stash and if anyone’s getting their tail ripped off here, it’s going to be him. Before they know it, Mountain is stood right in front of the pair, practically snarling at them as a low rumbling growl permeates throughout the kitchenette. In what is possibly up there amongst the dumbest things he’s ever done when being growled at by a much larger ghoul he’s crossed, Dew reaches behind him blindly, grabbing around until he finds what he hopes will be their saving grace. He picks it up and, wincing as he hopes the Earth ghoul doesn’t just bite his fingers off, presents his peace offering.

“Deli meat?”

Mountain stares at the presented cuts of ham for a good long while, but his decision is finally made when his face softens, rumble dissipating as he lets out a heavy sigh. He wordlessly takes the offering and opens it up, taking a handful of sliced meat for himself before passing it over to Swiss, who only just about manages to hold onto it as he’s still stood there in shock and awe, amazed that Dew’s offering had actually worked as the Earth ghoul scarfed down the ham in record time. It does wonders to show just how hungry a ghoul can get after being mad for hours on end.

Dewdrop feels bold and a little stupid, so he decides to crack out the cheese singles too, and sidles up to Mountain before holding one out to him.

Swiss questions all of his life choices as he stands there in silence while they both watch Mountain eat the entire cheese single within seconds. He hadn’t even removed its plastic covering. Dewdrop was near tears at the horror he was witnessing. This must be their punishment for what they had done, surely.

“You two are just lucky that it wasn’t my main stash.”

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