#--and the other half was Speculation abt what it Could Be if Nothing About The World In (e616s) 1992 Changed For 107 Years

[spider-man-2o99]

when are you gonna see the new spiderverse?

it's not set in stone or anything, but we're aiming for sometime within the first week of its release if we can afford it!!

(on the note of spoilers: i Strongly Prefer to not be spoiled, but they won't like. Ruin My Life or really even my Day, i just would prefer to not be spoiled cause it's. like. a dick move, y'know? thanks. love yall)

[yonpote]

as someone who wasnt here at the time (was a fan from about 2011-2013) what exactly defines the "softlaunch era" pre-coming out that i hear you and others refer to?

you've come to the right place cuz this is the era when i truly became a Phannie... "gay softlaunch" is generally considered 2017-18, but to be more specific it was october 31, 2016-june 13, 2019!

before they came out this was also referred to as "post-baking universe" referencing the halloween 2016 monster pops video that had an (at the time) abnormal amount of raunchy humor and just general derangedness. nothing like it is today, but that point felt very significant and dan even brought it up in liveshows like yeah idk what happened there and when phil called a peach an ass in a gaming video dan said "we live in a post-baking universe" (i believe fans coined the term tho).

people have also called it the "glass closet era" which is a divisive name for a lot of people cuz "glass closet" can be seen as kind of a mean term and it implies like, stereotyping or speculating or the "we been knew" behavior dan had talked about in BIG. which i understand that feeling, but i don't think that's what was happening, because the way i see it was queer flagging. ways they could show a little bit who they really were without saying it just yet. they weren't Out out, but they were just like. openly talking about attraction to men and finding men hot and not calling it a Man Crush or anything. dan would bring up queerness more often in liveshows, which hes mentioned queer artists and stuff before but now it was also making jokes about like.. being in a gas leak man porn fantasy in his first livestream of 2017 LMAO. phil would make a lot more innuendos, which hes always done, but now he wasnt pretending like he didnt know what he was saying. dan started wearing a single hoop earring on his right ear. this is an old school form of queer flagging, in The Olden Days (im too lazy to look up when but like my 70-something year old history teacher knew about this) if a man had an earring on his left ear, he's straight, and if he had one on his right, he's gay. that one's pretty subtle if you don't know much about queer history and there were Great Debates over whether or not we should take it to mean he is gay, but personally i saw it as like. he was letting us know without needing to say the G word out loud just yet!

i think a really important part of this era was even outside of directly discussing queerness, they were both trying to become more authentic online and figuring out how to do that without compromising their own privacy. dan stopped straightening his hair and rebranded and opened up about his mental health. phil's authenticity journey seemed a bit slower and wasn't as overt or seemingly drastic as dan's was, but it was happening! he changed up his hair!!! which yes its kinda silly to talk abt dnp's hair but the emo fringe was Their Brand. phil in particular said that, the emo fringe was a comfort place but he was feeling like he was trapped in having it forever because it was Who He Was, so it was a huge deal for him! he opened up a little bit about his physical health, both of them were a bit more honest about all the stress and anxiety they were dealing with (the mukbang is a pretty good video where they talk about that and an interesting one to watch in retrospect) and their whole 2018 tour was themed around whether they should Give The People What They Want or do what they wanted to do.

god i talk too much ANYWAY then dan disappeared in 2019 and phil was manning the helm for a good five and a half months and then the Big Gay hit! the Hard Launch Era if you will :) and now i would say 2023-present is the Unhinged Era so i have no clue what the hell their next move is gonna be...

[mappingthesky]

nymphia is soooo confusing first she says stay tuned for the finale in response to the her and plane question when nothing happened tonight and now in her ew interview she says “Mama, before [the season was] announced, Plane came to Taiwan, and when we got together, Dawn was like, "Did you guys f---?" I was like, "What are you talking about? No, we didn't!" Dawn is just going to be a little evil elf. Let her be, let her have her moment. I'll keep the audience guessing if me and Plane are a thing. Stay tuned!” when asked abt her and plane and she denies that they are together while also keeping us on our toes like I've never been more confused lmaooo what do u think of that (the ew interview is here btw https://ew.com/rupauls-drag-race-winner-nymphia-wind-exclusive-interview-8636500 )

if there were ever any doubts about how huge of a fucking tease nymphia is, here’s your proof!!

the truth is that i have no clue. logically i know it makes a lot of sense for her to play into the speculation & keep people engaged in the show/ upcoming projects / etc. so yes, i think that’s a big part of why she would tease things like this.

the other half of me thinks this whole thing is so fucking suspicious & something went/ is going down. is it mutual? is it one sided (which… i think could be a possibility but more on this another time)? is it a secret? who knows. idk, we all have seen the evidence. the way the other girls treat this whole thing is really compelling to me, because everyone seems to know without really knowing. there’s a part of me that wonders if planymphia themselves are still figuring it out? like they are also staying tuned because they’re navigating this whole situation too… i can only imagine how much of a whirlwind life has been post-filming, not to mention the physical distance between their worlds, so this may very much be a slow burn situation irl (which is…delicious to me as a writer & romantic) these two are both very private (in a somehow very public way). the truth is, i think whatever went down is reserved for them & their absolute closest companions!!

the truth is that we won’t know anything for certain unless they choose to share!! but the adoration they have for each other, whatever form it takes, is very apparent and that’s all tht matters <3

[persephassax]

POST-CANON Due South ficlet(s)

I was on a plane and some images popped into my head and I wrote them down and I hurt my own feelings.

Title(s): without the ghost of a shadow (all it ever meant)

Pairing: Gen (RayV/Fraser implied, RayK/Fraser a speculative possibility)

Summary: It’s been many years, but Ray remembers.

Warnings: permanent absence of Fraser & RayK, Ray lives in Florida with Ma, current U.S. History canon compliant.

Mentions of Police Violence, real events, caring for aging relatives, sad feelings.

Author’s Notes: I think a lot about these characters and how they would feel abt current events and the world we live in now, i think abt the role of dS as a part of the copaganda/colonial-imperial image laundering machine, but also the fairy tale qualities of so much of this kind of story telling. If any of these themes bothers you, please skip, thanks :)

•••

without the ghost of a shadow

A man shoots another man three times on a beach without reason or explanation and Ray is grateful that Fraser isn’t here to see it. It’s been twenty years since Florida became Ray’s home (or the closest approximation thereof), seventeen since Stella picked back up and went to New York City to work for the Attorney General, and eight since Ma moved south to live with him, because she couldn’t stand the harsh midwestern winters, leaving Frannie and Maria and Tony and the kids back in Chicago.

He looks around these days and isn’t quite sure he recognizes the world anymore. Everything has seemed a little strange since Fraser appeared in his life and stranger still since he left, but Ray thinks that things have gotten worse in ways that have nothing to do with his personal experience of reality.

Benny isn’t here to see these United States become the worst version of themselves; the shame that Ray feels when he looks at the cruelty and chaos around him, the sick confirmation of his most cynical expectations, is hidden from the only eyes Ray ever believed could see the good in every one.

Benton Fraser was one-of-a-kind and when he left, the world seemed to forget what he’d been so eager to prove; that with kindness, courtesy, and respect (for each other, for the law, for the world) everyone could be better than the worst that was expected of them. Ray knows that he often forgets it himself, and forgot it even while Fraser was still there to guide him, no wonder that without him here, everyone else is having so much trouble.

When he’s standing in the kitchen in the morning, looking out at the bungalow across the street, it’s peach colored stucco walls, and wooden framed windows, its grassy lawn, the morning air still heavy and wet with the swamp of the Everglades, the whole neighborhood sinking into the muck beneath it, an inch a year, he thinks about his friend.

He can see him, Fraser, red cheeked and satisfied, standing by the dog sled, while the dogs take a break. His hair is still dark, his teeth just a little crooked, his eyes shining with the light reflecting off the endless snow of the Yukon. He looks exactly as he did when he left Chicago the last time, the last time Ray saw him. Kowalski is with him, hair still the same unkempt dishwater blond, his teeth chattering, his hands shoved into his armpits, he’s bitching at Fraser about something, but he’s smiling, even though you can only see it around his eyes. Diefenbaker is sitting next to them, giving them that head half-cocked look, the one which says “why are you humans so stupid?” his tongue lolling out, his breath, hot from the sled run, forming clouds in the air.

He smiles, even as he can feel the sharp cold of the Northwest Territories prick at his cheeks, despite the sunlight spilling into the room, because they’re together, the three of them. The grand adventure continues, in that other place where the good guys in red always get their man, and friendship can vanquish even the darkest of demons, and you have to trek a hundred miles on snow shoes and climb a telephone pole to hear the bad news about the place where Ray has realized he set down roots and can no longer be moved.

He sips his coffee, and setting the mug down he can see how the Florida sun has come to live in his skin, darkening it to something warm and brown, no longer subject to the bleaching, overcoated Chicago winters. He can hear Ma putting about in the hall, and lets himself worry for a moment about whether she’s going to slip in the bathroom. He took the tub out a few years ago and had a walk in shower put in instead, and they’ve long done away with bathmats, but he can’t help himself, not that he’d ever say anything where she can hear him.

In his mind’s eye, Fraser turns to Kowalski and says something to him that he can’t hear over the distance between them, and Kowalski grins for real this time and Dief gives his own doggy lupine grin. Kowalski goes to make sure everything is set on the dog sled, and Dief trots to the front of the pack to get strapped in, but Fraser lingers for a moment, his eyes seeking out the middle distance, like he’s trying to catch sight of something just beyond the horizon. He brings his hand up to the brim of his Stetson and dips his chin a fraction, and Ray knows that its for him.

They get back on the dogsled and keep heading north, and Ray blinks a few times in the Florida sun and turns away to start making breakfast.

•••

(all that it ever was)

When the news of Treyvon Martin’s murder hits the national news circuit, all Ray can see is Willie. The separations of families at the border remind him of Mrs. Gomes, mothers desperate to love and protect their children. Ray’s known too many cops in his life to believe in the good ones. He himself has been desperate for the collar, eager to wash his hands of a messy case, committed to throwing the book at whoever was at hand, and let God sort ‘em out. Ray has held a gun with the intent to kill a man just for the satisfaction of seeing him die, knowing full well that the men and women of his station-house would back his word.

And the part of his soul which still has Benny’s fingerprints all over it, the only part of himself that has ever felt clean, cries out at the injustices that litter the news every day.

The problem, Ray finds himself thinking, is that once you meet a good man, once you’ve lived next to the real deal, you can’t quite forget it. There’s no ghost of Benton Fraser stepping in to provide color commentary on Ray’s life (and may God have mercy on him, that he should not live to meet Benny’s ghost), just the pattern and the memory of a man who believed in the goodness of others, and who believed that Ray, too, could learn to look at the world and see it as he did.

It’s a terrible gift that Fraser gave him, he thinks, as the world turns, and someone passes a law which makes him think of Ms. Fraser, and the things he found he did like about a woman, after all. To see the gap between the world as it is and what it could be, the promise of a kindness which need not be out of reach, perpetually unfulfilled, was to have his heart broken anew every day.

•••

Titles come from The King of Terrors

thanks for reading

[dragonmuse]

What if izzy and eddy had met earlier, i know weve seen just abt every variation of it all by now but, if eddy had met izzy while faith was still alive, how could that have changed things?

(great question and you know by now that I will go ever down the rabbit hole on these things. This verse is dubbed "But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you". Bulleted list time!)

-Izzy gets wind of easy money in backroom bare knuckle boxing a little earlier. He’s freshly seventeen and been with Faith for a year and a half. They’re both saving up seriously for the moment she turns eighteen. 

-There’s another teen there, lean and dangerous looking. Eddy, nineteen and already working for Hornigold, looking for some extra cash on a week off. 

“They’re going to eat you alive,” Eddy predicted when Izzy stepped up to the line. They’ve been waiting, already planning on challenging the winner of the next match. 

“They can fucking try,” Izzy spat. And he knocked the first guy out in one punch because he might be small, but he’s pretty much pound for pound made of fury and spite. 

Eddy does challenge him and they kick his ass. But on a whim, they offer him a hand up after. 

“You’ve got to learn how to dodge.” 

“Yeah?” Izzy gave them a speculative look. “So teach me.” 

“Fuck off,” they laughed. “Why would I do that?” 

“Dunno. Why not?” 

And that was Eddy’s siren call. ‘Why not?’ indeed. So they went out to the alley and she taught him a few things. The kid listened well, asked questions and kept his eyes so close on her face that it was like a hand on their skin. 

“You want dinner?” Izzy asked. “I owe you for the tips."

-They get dinner. Izzy has some cash, wadded up bills in a worn silver money clip with someone else’s initials on it. Eddy, relaxed with a full belly, brags a little about fights they’ve been in, punches they’ve thrown. Izzy goes on listening, intent and intense. It’s weird and kind of wild. 

-They shouldn’t cross paths again, but Eddy circles back a month later to the same bar and there’s Izzy using the moves she taught him and a few more besides, ducking and weaving and giving the other guy a hell of a time. Eddy finds him after, and they talk a little over where he went wrong in the last fight. When the talk takes them outside, Eddy spots Izzy’s bike and eagerly shows of their own. When she complains about a piston issue, he’s got some tools in his saddle bags and fixes it up right. 

-It occurs to Eddy even then that Hornigold would fucking bust a nut over Izzy, who is compliant, a nasty piece of work, and clearly without many roots. Idly she asks, 

“Would you leave the city for work?” 

“Now?” He hesitated and that surprised her. 

“Yes.” 

“Can’t yet,” he stepped away from the bike. “Gotta wait a year.” 

“Why?” 

Izzy gave them a long accessing look, judging for something that Eddy didn’t know about. 

“I’ve got a girl,” he said carefully after a long minute. “I promised her I’d get her out of here, but she’s fucking smart. We can’t leave until she’s gotten a sure place in a college somewhere.” 

Eddy would’ve never guessed that in a million years. 

“A girl?” 

“Yes,” Izzy said mulishly. “That so hard to believe?” 

It kind of is with the way Izzy had eyed them up like so much meat the first time they met, but okay sure. A girl. 

-So this time they will definitely probably never meet again. Except Eddy is back again next month because this guy is so fucking strange and that’s Interesting and Eddy loves Interesting. And Izzy is clearly pleased to see her. He’s got a bottle of stolen whiskey this time and they find a dark place to share it out between them. Eddy winds up telling him how she got the bruise on her arm. Tells him about what she does. 

“Huh,” he took a sip of the booze, tilted his head against the brick. 

“What?” 

“Nothing. Just...that’s the job you were thinking of last time?” 

“Uh huh.” 

“Lot of people don’t make it back from those?” 

“Not a lot,” Eddy frowned. “But uh. It happens.” 

“Yeah, no thanks,” he snorted. “I promised no jail, but I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be keen on the dying thing either.” 

“I want to meet this girl,” Eddy decided on a whim. 

“Yeah, okay. 

-Izzy stops at a payphone and makes a call. They drive to her place and she’s waiting on the front steps in the dark, folded up in to a little ball. She’s not a beauty, and definitely fragile, the kind of breakable goods Eddy avoided. But she lights up when she sees Izzy and practically floats down the steps to meet him. That’s...that’s kind of beautiful, Eddy can admit. 

“Hi,” Faith gives Eddy a wary look, but steps up to their bike anyway. “Israel’s said a lot about you.” 

“Didn’t think ‘Israel’  said a lot about anything,” Eddy held out their hand, schooled in the Hornigold manner of meeting people these days. Faith shook in. Her hand was small in theirs, but her grip was firm enough. She met their eyes without hesitation.  

“You have to be listening,” she said with authority. Eddy felt chastised and not sure why. 

-They all go down to the riverwalk and sit on an abandoned pier to finish the bottle. Faith is a giddy drunk and giggles incessantly until Izzy laughs with her about fucking nothing. It should be annoying, but people don’t laugh around Eddy much and she finds herself laughing along with them. Faith has a chocolate bar in her pocket and she solemnly splits it three ways. 

-Eddy doesn’t pretend that they aren’t going looking for Izzy next time. And Izzy sees them as soon as they walk in and gives them a fierce smile. They pick up Faith and this time Eddy takes them out. their flush with cash and who else do they have to spend it on? They both eat with intent, but Faith continues to carry on a conversation at least. 

“I like your bracelet thing,” Eddy gestured to Faith’s wrist where she has a piece of black ribbon strung with silver beads, including a skull one that stares emptily up at nothing. 

“This? I made it.” She grinned, then with a considering look. “It’d be better on you. I tied it too big.” 

“No,” Eddy said softly, not enough to actually deter her. Faith undid it and then took Eddy’s hand like that was a safe thing to do, wrapped the ribbon around it and cinched it. 

“See? Perfect. Goes with your whole thing.” 

“What thing?” Eddy wondered, but didn’t take it off. Didn’t offer to give it back. Izzy said nothing, just glanced at it and nodded like he agreed with the entire moment. 

-Eddy doesn’t take the bracelet off. Skulls are badass and no one says shit to them about it. 

-They meet a few more times. Izzy always knows some forgotten corner they can hole up in. He keeps being happy to see Eddy and fuck knows that no one else is. Except maybe Faith, who is no longer at all wary and chatters at Eddy like she knows they’re listening no matter what their face says. It’s so...normal? Maybe? Was this what high school friendships were supposed to be like? 

-Then Eddy shows up on a random Thursday night and Izzy isn’t at the bar. He isn’t lurking around the front or around the back and the guy that runs the fight says he hasn’t been all week. Eddy probably should just go. Come back another time, but they’ve got sharp instincts and something is fucking wrong. They go to Izzy’s place. He’d pointed it out once, careless as anything.  A girl answers the door, she’s small and looks so like Izzy, Eddy is sure this is the right place. 

“I’m looking for Izzy,” she tells the girl. 

“Why?” her look is knowing. “Are you a cop?” 

“No. Just a...a friend.” 

“Oh. You’re kind of old for it.” 

“What are you? Nine?” 

“Eight,” she corrected, but the door opens wider. “ISRAEL! SOME WEIRD DUDE IS HERE FOR YOU!” 

“Wow,” Eddy does not bother to engage with that, just steps inside. The house is neat. Like painfully neat. Don’t kids live here? The girl does and Izzy mentioned a younger brother once. If the furniture wasn’t so worn, she’d guess this place was a showroom. 

Izzy takes a long time coming downstairs. When he gets there, his eyes are red-rimmed. He stops dead when he sees Eddy. 

“What happened?” they demand flatly. 

“She died,” Izzy said simply and Eddy didn’t know she had a heart left to break. Learn something new every day. “Heart thing... I don’t know. I didn’t know what the fuck to do.” 

“Fuck,” Eddy stared at him. Izzy looked hollowly back. “When?” 

“Last week. They had the funeral already. Forgot to invite me,” he said bitterly. 

“Fuck,” Eddy said again weakly. Whatever sadness was in her, she could see tenfold in him. That was his hope. His dream. The one Eddy had never bothered to have. Izzy had seen a way out of this sanitized hellscape. 

There was Hornigold. There was the future Eddy had paved for herself. Izzy must’ve read it off her. 

“I can go tonight if you think they’ll have me,” he said without feeling. She knew that numbness. She knew a line thrown out into the dark waters. 

And a stranger? She’d have thrown them into Hornigold’s maw without question. Izzy would be an asset. She knew now that he wasn’t just vicious, but smart. Not like she was, not a good strategist with a razor blade mind. He was regular smart, good at math (Faith had tattled, and oh fuck oh fuck fucking Faith with her ribbons and her soft blue eyes just gone, where was the goddamn fairness in that?) and sorting through information. 

“What about college?” Eddy asked slowly. 

“What about it?” Izzy leaned against the wall like standing up took too much energy. 

“You should go.” 

“Why?” 

“Because she can’t.” 

Izzy stared at her, “With what fucking money?” 

“Dunno. Let’s figure it out.” 

-It wasn’t hard to ask around. Eddy was charming and got a handle on the vocabulary quickly enough. There were scholarships. Financial aid. When Izzy got in and had enough to move out into a dorm, it felt like Eddy had done right. She was quit of whatever weird obligation she felt to a dead girl. 

-Except they had to know if Izzy was sticking with it. And his dorm wasn’t a bad place to crash on the odd night they were in town and their apartment echoed too much. The books on his desk were interesting, even if he was too busy studying to be fun. Sometimes though he ditched those and they went into the night. Got drunk. Found a fight. They fought well together. 

-Eddy complained about Hornigold more as Izzy went from junior to senior and started eyeing up a master’s program with steely determination. As far as she knew, he’d made no other friends of any note, hadn’t so much as looked at another girl (or boy, but whatever Iz, sure, girls only, uh huh).  He ate and breathed math, the gym and Eddy.  

“So quit,” Izzy said finally with an eye roll. “Fuck, Eddy if he’s such a piece of shit, then put your efforts somewhere else.” 

“Where would I go?” she frowned. “This is what I’m good at.” 

“That’s such bullshit,” he set down his pen and turned all that heavy focus onto her. “You’re smart as fuck. Pick literally anything else. I’ve got an internship lined up this summer. Real money. Got to find a place. Live with me while you figure it out if you want.” 

“Iz-” They started then stopped. 

“You got me here. Let me get you where you’re going now. My turn.” 

How did she say no to that? Getting out from under Hornigold was both harder and easier than she though. He wasn’t happy, but she’d signed a lot of NDAs and did a lot of swearing to not poach clients. Then she was in the wind. 

-For five months, Eddy doesn’t do much. Watches Izzy go to his internship in a jacket and tie which maybe suit him more than she expected. He comes back with money and takeout most nights. When his masters program starts, it’s the same, except he has work that he does while they watch tv together at night. 

-There’s a boutique dress shop at the end of their street. The displays are gorgeous and Eddy lingers outside them sometimes, not sure what appeals to her about it. A matronly woman with a severe haircut, but kind eyes, finally peeks out of the shop one day and asks timidly, “Would you like to come in, dear?” 

Her name is Mona and she let’s them wander around the shop, touching everything. When they realize what they’re doing, they make for the door, transgression and shame in their gut without knowing why. 

“Why don’t you stay for a bit?” Mona said and Eddy nervously hovers in the doorway “Only, I run this place on my own and at my age, I get a little nervous being alone all day. You have an appreciation for my  things and I don’t really ask for more than that.” 

Eddy took the job. When she told Izzy, he gave her a speculative look then shrugged. “Yeah sure, why not?” 

It doesn’t pay a lot, not even full time, but Mona teaches them about fabrics and draping. She makes a lot of the things she sells and Eddy learns that too. To fit the part, Mona makes them a shirt that’s only not a blouse because of the side the buttons are on. It’s a middle shade of blue and clings and Eddy wears it to work every day until she gives them another in green. Then one in purple. Then one in a buttery yellow that Eddy only wears on the truly dark days because it's impossible to be completely sullen in yellow.

“I like the purple one best,” Izzy said without much interest when Eddy pressed him about it. So that was that. 

-It’s a late winter night when it happens. Their heat is awful, an ancient radiator that spits out blurts of lukewarm air and makes a racket doing it. Eddy doesn’t give him a chance to argue, just crawls into Izzy’s bed, shivering and he doesn’t kick her out. 

He’s very warm actually and he smells good, clean and sharp in her nose. They’ve always liked his profile, the strong nose and heavy brow. For work, he’s kept his hair a little more tidy and she missed the way it used to spill over his forehead. It had been awhile since Eddy had gone out late and dipped into a club to find someone to scratch the itch with. She could use a fuck, and he was ready to hand. 

“Did you ever make it with any of those coeds?” She asked in the confessional dark. 

“No,” he said without reluctance. He’d always been honest with her. She’d never asked for that, but thrived on it anyway. “Felt wrong.” 

“What about with me?” She challenged. 

“What about with you?” he stiffened. “Come on, Eddy. Let me fucking sleep.” 

“You’ve thought about it. I know I have.” 

“I’m not- I don’t-” He stopped.”Fuck, this feels like a trap. Why is it always traps with you?” 

“It’s not a trap,” she rolled over onto her stomach so she could look at him better. “Really, Iz. I’ll make it good for you.” 

Faith stands between them, an unspoken chastity belt that Izzy had wrapped himself in willingly. But Eddy had known Faith. She knew a girl who wanted Izzy to have a life. Maybe his wasn't the one she’d planned, but this was what they had to work with. 

“I’m not gay,” he mumbled. 

“Okay. I’m like barely a guy at this point,” Eddy countered. “I don’t know what I am.” 

“You’re just Eddy,” Izzy said with a sigh. “You’re fucking magic.” 

And how could she not kiss him after that? Izzy was solid stone for about a second and a half. Then he melted into her. He was definitely green to it, but like in all things, he listened and he obeyed like a pro. Maybe he wasn’t gay, but he gave her a pretty good orgasm without much hesitation once he figured out what was what. 

-What they hadn’t counted on was that it changed things. Maybe not even for the worse. Izzy started bringing them things. Nothing expensive. Just little things. A candy they liked, a magazine with an article about the future of batteries because she’d gone on rant about how theirs died too fast recently, a pair of flip-flops when hers broke, and a small wooden sculpture of a wolf howling at the moon just because it caught his eye.  He already cooked a lot, but he upped his game, quietly adding recipes and paying attention to what she ate and what she shoved aside to create targeted meals that left her groaning.

Also they had sex a lot. Once Izzy had gotten a taste and they’d proven willing to go again, it turned out they’d pulled the cork on a shaken bottle of diet coke. The man was ravenous and just like food, he figured out what they liked and didn’t like rapidly. Eddy went from months between to glutted on sex.

-”Is that your roommate?” Mona asked one afternoon when Izzy walked Eddy to work, then continued on to the new gym he was trying out. With nothing to punch, Eddy had quickly lost interest in lifting weights and liked how soft their body had become. 

“Yeah,” Eddy watched Izzy through the window, trying to see him how Mona might. 

“And he’s single?” She asked. 

“Why?” Eddy grinned at her, “You interested?” 

“No,” Mona said archly. She never let Eddy’s teasing get to her, but she seemed to enjoy the attempts. “I thought maybe you were.” 

“Me?” Eddy scoffed pretty hard for someone who had made said roommate come three times in the last twenty-four hours. 

“Mhm.” Mona reached for a spool of thread. “The way you talk about him sometimes. And now I’ve seen the way you look at him.” 

-There was a lot to look at. Eddy touched the black ribbon that they still wore around their wrist. Izzy belonged to Faith. But Faith was dead five years now. Almost six. Maybe he was Eddy’s now. Inherited. 

-At the six month mark, it was hard to deny that something was happening. Izzy almost asked a few times. Eddy watched the question form in him, but always found a way to distract  him from it. Until one night when they were fucked out, exhausted and sticky and before she could look to catch it, Izzy just asked in his raw way, 

“What the fuck are we doing?” 

Eddy closed her eyes, “Looks like a couple, fucks like a couple, bickers like a couple. What the fuck do you think it is? A duck?” 

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Izzy groaned, but he reached out across the mattress and put his hand on hers. She turned her hand palm up and laced their fingers together. That was that then. 

-Izzy gets his masters, gets a good fucking job at a legit place. It’s a suit job and she gets to watch him assemble himself every morning in progressively nicer fabrics that she picked out. Layers of charcoal and rich jewel tones that make his wild dark eyes and hair stand out all the more. 

There’s a dinner, fancy and plus one’s invited. Izzy tells them without expectation or concern. She’s not sure when he conquered his fears about people calling him gay, but apparently he’s arrived if he’s inviting them, considering Eddy’s got quite a beard and wears a lot of silk. 

“Be easier if I was your wife,” Eddy sighed. 

“Who gives a shit?” said Izzy, someone who had very much given a shit a year ago. 

“What if I was your wife?” Eddy asked and Izzy’s mouth shut with a click. “I’m not proposing, I’m thinking I could shave. Do some makeup.” 

“It’s not a sitcom,” Izzy said slowly like she might’ve lost the plot. “And I just said it’s fine. It’ll be fine. They like to pretend to be progressive at this place. I might not get promoted, but I’m not planning on staying long for that anyway.” 

Izzy had a fifteen year plan that made Eddy’s head hurt when he explained it, but it was ambitious. 

“I know,” Eddy frowned and then sighed. “Listen, I think I just want to put on a fucking dress and feel fancy.” 

Izzy nodded once, “Fine. Do that then.” 

When they shaved the beard, they waited for the judgment, but Izzy just reached out and cupped their face, “You like it?” he asked. 

“I do.” 

“Ok then.” 

She doesn’t actually wear a dress to Izzy’s dinner, but the thought is there now. Instead, they went in a suit and made nice to the very boring, but delighted spouses of Izzy’s co-workers. 

It was the beginning though. The dresses came after that. Mona made her the first one: a purple sundress that created curves like magic. Izzy took it off of them in minutes which she took as appreciation. 

-It took more doing to get Izzy to go to a club. He was deeply uncomfortable and hovered by the bar, eyes darting to bodies then away like it burned him. But he didn’t ask to leave, let her dance as long as she liked and drove home without complaint.  When she was drunkenly tucked into bed, she pat his arm, 

“You’re really good to me.” 

“Yeah,” Izzy laughed and leaned in to kiss her forehead. “Only cause you make this rotten world worth living in.” 

And that sat in her chest and sat in her chest until she reached for him and woke him from a deep sleep. 

“What?” he groaned. “Fuck, it’s 4am, you nightmare.” 

“I love you,” she told him urgently. He froze and then sat up. 

“Are you dying?” 

“No,” she frowned. “Not that I know of.” 

“Am I dying?” 

“Uh, no?” 

“Oh.” He scrubbed at his face. “And you love me?” 

“I know, I’m surprised too,” she smiled in the dark. 

“Fuck you,” he said without any heat. “You know I love you too.” 

“I didn’t.” 

“Well I do,” he flopped back down, head landing on her shoulder. “Wanna fuck?” 

She rolled over him, straddling his waist and made hay of the early wake up. 

-Izzy got promoted. Eddy learned how to make a complete garment.  She thought she should want more. Do more. But he never asked it of her. He talked about her job like it mattered as much if not more than his. He learned the terms, the regular customers. He bought Mona the same soulless gifts he bought his own work people every year. 

-Stede Bonnet walked into Mona’s shop and found a beautiful clerk with waist-length hair (still mostly black), in a navy dress with a cowl neck, pockets and a skirt fluffed with tulle.  They chatted while she took his measurements without question, told him about their custom orders and recommended a fitted bodice with flare. 

“I love how you look,” Stede offered. “You...well. You wear it all very well.” 

“Thanks,” she grinned. “You’ll look great too, promise. I’ll work on it myself.” 

“Thank you,” he ran a hand through his hair. “I’ll be back then. Will you be here when I pick it up?” 

“Likely.” 

She thought about him a lot. Enough that she mentioned him to Izzy, who nodded and probably added Stede to the rolodex in his brain. 

When Stede came back for the fitting, the dress was perfect. 

“I’m going to start doing drag,” he explained, unable to stop touching the careful pleats Eddy had put in. “I’ve got a bar that I’m renovating on fifth. I thought it’d be years, before I could do such a thing, but my father had a boating accident.” 

“Sorry?” Eddy offered. 

“Oh, don’t be, I’m not.” Stede hesitated, then apparently gathered gumption, maybe from the dress itself which he was still stroking. “Could I take you out to lunch perhaps?” 

He was very pretty. Just their actual type, not whatever Izzy had accidentally convinced her into. They liked the way he spoke and how he held himself. 

“You can. But as friends. I’ve got a partner.” 

“Oh, of course you do,” Stede’s smile fell a little, but didn’t entirely dim. “I would like to be your friend very much.” 

-They do become friends and when the Revenge becomes a reality, Eddy takes Izzy to opening night. They watch all the acts with increasing incredulousness, but even Izzy has to admit it’s all kind of impressive. 

“You could do that,” he said thoughtfully. “Bet you’d be good at it. You already dance around the apartment all the time.” 

“Kind of different, Iz,” she tsked, but...maybe not that different. 

She’s on the stage in weeks and she never wants to come down. Her stage name is Holly GoFightMe because it was the first name that made Izzy laugh on her list. 

-Stede is helpful and kind. He’s around a lot, they do numbers together and interview bartenders together. It’s hard to find a good one (the one they’re waiting on is only seventeen at the moment) and they fire a lot of them. And it’s ‘they’ not ‘Stede’ because Eddy gets interested in the running of things and takes on more and more until Stede just hires her. Eddy cuts down her hours at the store and Mona adds on another staff member,  

-”You spend a lot of time with him,” Izzy offers over breakfast one morning. It’s fucking delicious because Izzy refuses to quit until he masters something. 

“I like him.” 

“How much?” He asks and it’s not heated, just curious.  Maybe a little sad. 

“A lot. But there’s you. So.” 

“So,” Izzy leaned back and watched her. “I know we fell together and I’ve never been sorry for a day, but if you want something else...I’m not a jailer, Eddy.” 

“You’re mine though,” she checked and he nodded without hesitation. “So I’m yours.” 

“There’s a chick at work-” 

“Don’t say chick,” they wrinkled their nose.  

“Fine,” Izzy huffed. “There’s a lovely young lady at work,” the sarcasm was extra thick “who has a husband and a girlfriend. Since she met you at that one work party, she thinks I give a shit and keeps yakking to me about it.” 

“What are you saying?” She frowned. 

“I’m saying...I’m saying I don’t want to lose you because you’re falling in love with that twit and you have to choose.” 

Was she falling in love with Stede? She prodded her heart with annoyance and it produced a very strong ‘probably’. Well fuck. 

“I’d chose you,” she said firmly. 

“Oh,” he considered that then smiled. “That’s good. But you’d be upset over it. So. If he’s cool with it...I’ll find a way to be.” 

“Really?” She stared at him. “Who are you?” 

“You keep showing me there’s nothing beyond the lines that were drawn. I think I’m whoever you made me.” 

Huh.  

-Stede is still very interested, even as she outlines the nature of what they’d be walking into. And it is such a damn relief to get into bed with someone who takes the lead. He’s good at it too, leaves her wrung out and thrilled. She stays with him for two days before creeping home, feeling a bit like she should be ashamed or at least wary. 

“Have fun?” Izzy asked as she sat down beside him on the couch. 

“Yeah,” she admitted. 

“Good,” he reached for her and kissed her. “I love you.” 

“Love you too.” 

-It turned out you could have it all. Theater, friends, a lover and a partner.  

-One unremarkable day, Eddy was home, mending a dress when she reached for something and the ribbon on her wrist snagged, ripped and finally slid off her wrist for the last time. She was startled by the tears that came to her eyes. It had been fifteen years since Faith had walked lightly on the earth and in all honesty, Eddy rarely thought about her anymore. Yet everything she had was because of her. With great tenderness, she wrapped the ribbon her necklace stand where she’d see it every day as she got dressed. 

“Iz?” She called out when he came home that night.

“Yeah?” he came through the apartment to find her, her very own heat-seeking missile. He never spent more than a minute after getting in the door before finding her and kissing her. 

“Can we get married?” She asked him after his lips departed hers. “I just...I was thinking that we practically are and I’d like it if we just were.” 

“Yeah, Eddy.” He pressed his forehead to her. “Let’s do that.” 

They don’t really do a thing. There’s a courthouse and cake. They invite a few people, including Stede which they all try hard to not make weird. But mostly what Eddy wanted was the ring. It was gold and delicate, but present and heavy on her finger. Izzy’s was much the same, the band just a little thicker. It looked right on his hand. 

-On what he tries to make seem like a whim (but does not have a chance in hell of appearing as one since Izzy is allergic to whims along with half the known foods on the planet), he takes their name instead of the other way around. Israel Teach becomes a full partner at his chosen accounting firm and he buys his new spouse a gorgeous three-bedroom apartment not far from the Revenge. 

-By the time Lucius finds his way to the Revenge, it’s a neighborhood institution. He meets the owners, who are clearly grossly in love with each other. And one of the owner’s husbands, who sits at the bar very dutifully every Friday night and drinks exactly two vodka tonics very slowly. 

“You’re partner is really something,” Lucius said one night and Izzy smiled like he’d won the fucking lottery. 

“Yeah, Eddy is magic.” 

And who wouldn’t want a piece of that smile for themselves?

[fishtails-nat1]

grading double life ships, shipnames, if any, added in brackets.

CANON PAIRINGS:

Ma'el/Pall'or (cultduo, sometimes maellor) the classic, they had chemistry day one. honestly not much more to say other than the fact that the players are on their hands and knees to stop the slowburn and let them fuck. bonus points for the intersting backstory weaving. 10/10

Eiwn/Miym very well done friendship to tragic love. the chemistry these two have is off the walls, like why are pep and cerin so good at doing these friends to lovers ships. the tragic family aspect and cool gods backstory stuff provides a really interesting dynamic. 10/10 i like the poem

RD/Alastrelle (no common tagname, but adding in one ive seen; "winnerduo" cause its funny as fuck) I didn't used to see it cause they had a slight roughness to their alliance but when alastrelle started getting darker vibes? ok yeah this is some cool corruption shit. RD has nothing to hold them back anymore either. i hope they win and kiss about it. 10/10

Luck/Lilly (tigerlilly, luckian) I think this one is actually just canon aside from pairing stuff? or its luck pining a lot, whatever. it's... it's hard to actually judge this one because pep can't actually play out them talking to one another, but y'know what yeah i like the vibes. me and my girlwife who hates people. me and my malewife who trips over roots. 8/10

NON-CANON PAIRINGS:

RD/Pall'or why is their friends with benefits energy off the CHARTS holy shit. RD has plans to kill him but the enemies to lovers energy could be fucking insane??? they have multiple plans to fuck?? the fact that pall'or knows every inch of their body?? 10/10 keeps that inappropriate workplace relationship going

RD/Eiwn they work really well as the weirdgirl/jockboy so I think it's pretty funny. yeah we gay keep scrolling! not a lot of substance anymore and tbh i've seen a lot of angst breakup fics following the latest events so.... yeah.... 6/10

Alastrelle/Luck from what I've seen, all the fics are entirely about the single conversation they've had. There's some further chemistry to be explored, but for now, I don't really see it. 4/10

Pall'or/Alastrelle the starboys... the lovers under the moon... I think they can be so wonderful or horrible for each other. i dont know why im saying this but hannigrm kind of. 7/10

Pall'or/Lilly HOOOOO boy theres a lot to be said when most of the fics under this are hurt no comfort and one-sided relationship. cool job speculating what the fuck happened between these guys. 9/10 because pallor would actually do that yeah

RD/Luck ok yeah again with the pathetic malewife who trips over roots and the cool strong one. I think the fact that RD does actually like luck feeds into this, it's pretty strong actually. 9/10

Pall'or/Luck ok half these noncanon ships involve them so its abt time! i don't have anything to add i just agree. 9/10 because they have yet to flirt in an insane way

Luciano/Cle'av i've seen some age discourse around this so no hate please im just doing rankings. we all love a consentual workplace relationship, especially on the dating death game show. 7/10

Ma'el/Luck once again dont mention the discourse pleaseeee luck said "oh i guess we're not then" in the same sentance after bringing up being related. yeah i think a dog and a cat can be lovers, if they try hard enough. more than anything i like the fact that theyre streetsmart vs booksmart vibe that pall and mael have too. 9/10

RD/Eiwn/Alastrelle polycule is always a win. i have small hope they'll meetup again to do more stuff like the bear bit, buttttt things arent going good. i miss these three 10/10

Ma'el/Pall'or/Luck ive said all that ive needed to say. 10/10

[cheswirls]

WOW there was rly no other mention of figarland in film red and op wikis article hasn’t updated w 1086 so i had to go back and brush over to see where it was

after skimming the back half okay i have. new perspective ONE is that garland isn’t stated to be a world noble which i assumed the first time. he’s head of the knights and given a position of power in the holy land, obviously, if he can judge world nobles so freely (like.. enough to sentence one to death) and he does look like he’s in a position of power and knows it, like he gives off that air. but it’s not a stuck-up born-with-it air like other celestials

and then i realized that hes the former king of god valley, like in a very recent less-than-100-yrs-ago type. and uta was speculated to be a figarland after her relations w shanks were revealed.

at first i thought it would make sense, then, how shanks has gotten away with so much. (back when i thought garland was a celestial) that it explains why he was able to stop the war, and why sengoku said ‘because it’s you, i’ll allow it’ bc he didn’t rly have a choice in allowing it. that him seeing the elder planets was kinda like how mingo leveraged and weaponized his knowledge of the holy land. because it’s you, they said. and it would make sense, because shanks could have been born a celestial dragon but if he was found at god valley as a baby, or was placed on the oro jackson or w/e a la uta and the red-haireds, then he would grow up a pirate despite his heritage, but obviously if he would out then no one could deny him such. they sit at the top of the world for a reason

and then i backed off bc i realized it didn’t outright say garland was a world noble anywhere. so now my connection of shanks is coming from the god valley collection, and more in particular, the final words he says. on surface level he’s referring to mjosgard, but this is oda and nothing is ever only surface level. so if we are juxtaposing with shanks, then garland’s words surely are meant to be a foreshadowing. either into his character or shanks’. it really got me thinking on who shanks talked with the elder planets abt. luffy, or teach? but then, also, maybe roger? maybe rocks?? like, was he talking about a future problem, or something from the past coming to light instead????

anyone that protects scum is worse than scum themselves. my first thought immediately went to luffy. if we’re meant to tie garland in w shanks, and taking his words as some sort of future foreshadowing, and going off the assumption that shanks is going to be different bc god valley wasn’t around when he was growing up, then it’s gotta be him doing just that. like it’s gotta be more than snide words to mjosgard. maybe it’s abt shanks’ whole character, since 1076 (which i went back n glanced at to see if figarland was mentioned - nope) revealed that the crews under shanks’ fleet are kinda wishy-washy, and they joke abt protection money. shanks having so many common ppl -pirates no less- under him that can’t fend for themselves would be a good indicator in regards to what garland said. like i can see him saying that abt shanks. but, again, i can also see him saying that abt luffy. (i can also see it inadvertently coming back around to affect sanji, if the two ever interact, as yet another form of sanji rejecting his royal blood. but i digress-)

something abt god valley is going to be startlingly impt very quickly. its almost definitely been hit w an island-wiping beam like lulusia was, to have vanished like that in that manner of speaking (how sengoku warded others from investigating on their own and jus listening to him) and how the elder planets referred to lulusia in the original chapter it was blown to bits (a very different perspective this time around!!!! intriguing and eye-opening, rly wanna know where the nerona family lived before moving to the holy land. it couldn’t have been mother flame that did in god valley tho, or at least not whatever version they used on lulusia, since they talked abt it like they were testing a prototype. maybe they did have an ancient weapon at one point, and this is vp’s man-made counter to it like the blueprints franky had were the countermeasure to pluton?? vp took research on the void century from ohara over 20 yrs ago, and god valley vanished over 40, so if he (and therefore a rogue stella) found out a way to counter an ancient weapon, it would have to be after both. meaning the method of eliminating god valley and lulusia is similar but not the exact same, like an imitation

i wonder if god valley wraps all the way around, actually, bc roger and garp teamed up to protect celestial dragons. figarland is a judge onto the celestials in present day. the elder planets are partial to shanks, and garp views all celestials as scumbags (a la his convo w stelly) and dragon’s goal was to declare war specifically on the celestials. ik luffy’s mother has got to be impt, but i am starting to buy into his mother or grandmother being a world noble less and less, the more these egghead chapters reveal. garp and dragon just aren’t framed as having any partiality among celestial dragons. you would think if dragon met someone, that even if something terrible happened and they were judged by god’s knights, that dragon would take to heart that not all world nobles are bad (like we’ve been seeing w/ various donquixotes since the timeskip) and reconsider what he wants. but he doesn’t, so it doesn’t make sense for that to have happened. garp is the same way, and has been portrayed as such by his refusal to take an admiral slot since he made his debut in the manga. 

but god valley fits into the puzzle somewhere, and shanks is the missing piece to something. like somehow, someone got a baby shanks aboard the oro jackson. was it garp, after the fighting w rocks was over and his guard duty was essentially done?? was it someone else at the time, either a celestial (mother???) or a former resident of god valley? i guess we technically don’t know when garland retired to the holy land, so god valley could have not been a kingdom for many many years prior to the roger+garp vs rocks crew showdown. but both of them being there and teaming up makes me think it has to do with shanks, or shanks was a result and/or consequence of such. and the garp connection makes me think there’s a dragon connection, too. there’s 16 yrs between shanks and dragon. if dragon happened to be a former marine, would he have been there? did he have something to do with shanks being looked after by roger’s crew?

and then i am. tepidly circling around the idea that shanks could be tied to luffy’s mother, somehow. if oda is setting up shanks and garland to be opposites or foils or something, and if garland’s final words are a reference to shanks and luffy in the future, then? ??????????? idk. i think comparing shanks and luffy wouldn’t be far off either, especially if there’s a hidden middle man tying them closer together. like they don’t have to be related, that’s not necessarily what i’m getting at. but it would be very interesting if luffy’s mother had something to do with nobility tied so closely to the world nobles.

[ennui-gt]

🌻

Terribly sorry to drop this on you but since I can say whatever I want and I’ve been thinking about transformers recently, I will be subjecting you to that. *Spins the wheel of dumb shit that happens in the IDW comics*

Congratulations!!! You get to hear about the time Not-Optimus beat the shit out of Cthulhu and also everyone was trains!

Here’s a few designs of the stuff:

Optimus. Who is not Optimus but shhhhHhH that’s fine dw abt it

Bomble. Except not really. But like if I start talking about HOW exactly none of these characters are actually their counterparts and how this is actually centurion and he’s half human bc something something magical hijinks (when I say hijinks I mean warcrimes) and whatever, we’d be here licherally all day.

I am literally so happy that they kept Meghan’s gun mode alt even tho it’s a cannon here. Like go off oh my god. He doesn’t even show up in the comic at all lmao but even so he manages to be the one toy I’d actually like to purchase from this line.

And there he is. Shitscram. My third favorite transformer of all time. The fucking bat wings coming out of everywhere I lov him u g h

Hearts of Steel was a 4 issue short series that took place in the 1800s and BASICALLY what happens is this one guy ironhide sees what’s going down w like the fish people and whatever, then runs to tell the other autobots about it. Anyway they’re more or less helpless against Cthulhu for a WHILE there too finally Optimus just…???? Knocks him out somehow? Through sheer willpower? Also some of the decepticons are there and they get dealt with too I think. iirc shockwave, ravage and maybe one or two of the seekers are the only ones to wake up, yeah by the way they’re all in like Caves since their ships crashed, g1 style.

See the main issue with transformers is that every single thing that you learn about transformers feels sort of like being punched in the guts. And the stories feel like everything is happening and also nothing is happening at the same time :D

For a while it was speculated that this wasn’t canon bc how could they still be fighting in a war if they’re all asleep underground in caves on earth, but then it was revealed that these characters were NOT the original autobots and decepticons! They were just, like, copycats because Centurion woke up, said smthn along the lines of “shit, am I bumblebee?” and shockwave took that as an opportunity to just replace all their memories with the stuff HE remembered about the autobots. Experimence!

Anyway Cthulhu’s still down there just…sleeping I guess. Also did I mention that Nikola Tesla shows up? Nikola Tesla shows up.

Closing Statemence: tbh there’s nothing like particularly remarkable abt how this comic is written or anything so I don’t really. I don’t really RECOMMEND reading it? Honestly I don’t recommend reading a lot of transformers stuff to ppl who don’t already have an interest in transformers stuff because it is so…you know. The only comics that I can wholeheartedly say “go read these, regardless of whether or not you like transformers you’re gonna like these comics” are IDW’s More Than Meets The Eye and Lost Light in that order. All you need to know is that the war between bots and cons is over and some of them decided “fuck it, let’s go to space”. The story’s funny asf, the dialogue makes the transformers feel like real, fleshed out people with personalities instead of being stilted and only serving to advance the plot, and it is, to this day, one of the only pieces of media to make me cry.

[bau-rookie]

finally got around to watching more of S8 and initial Maeve thoughts:

(yes i know her name, i’ve seen gifs of her but i know nothing else so pls don’t spoil)

i am very intrigued, but also confused on how im supposed to feel abt this arrangement.

there’s obviously something more going on than spencer is hiding a ‘girlfriend’

the spencer/alex blake moments about this are so good tho. alex linguistically deducing her way through spencer’s act. and her not sharing spencer’s secret!!

i want to see more of spencer and blake in general

i get that they’re trying to set up this idea that spencer and maeve are connecting on an intellectual level, with them not knowing what the other looks like

but im sorry ‘when i studied the mri you sent me, i said to myself, this is a guy i need to get to know’ is arguably the creepiest thing in an episode where an unsub is cutting off people’s legs

like she looked an image of a brain and was attracted to it?? im exaggerating lol, it’s just a weird image to me

speculations about Maeve’s deal: first thought was she has a stalker/serial killer after her? witness protection?

second, because it’s a Spencer arc... schizophrenia? or some form of a paranoid delusion? Maeve just thinks that someone is after her, and she’s in danger when she isn’t.

none of my theories completely make logical sense. like if she was in witness protection, spencer probably wouldn’t be able to contact her at all. and im not an expert on mental illness, but i don’t think schizophrenia would mean she would have this delusion and be lucid enough to give spencer a geneticist’s opinion on things

they’re definitely setting up a deeper Mystery™️ and im hooked, i just want to know what’s going on!!

also as someone who was deeply obssessed with reading all of Conan Doyle’s works when she was 11, the Sherlock Holmes motif is making me go 👀

Spencer did strike of a Sherlock Holmes-esque character when i first saw him, esp when they made those edits of him big braining his way through a case in s1. He’s a genius with a solid memory, with a knack for deduction and solving crimes.

Personality wise, Spencer and Sherlock are nothing alike, so it’s interesting to see the writers want to draw parallels more overtly now

i mean they did give him a drug problem except you could blink and miss it since they did it so poorly the same way Arthur Conan Doyle gave Sherlock a cocaine addiction

iirc, the book they show Spencer reading, The Sign of Four, was the first time Doyle explicitly shows Sherlock to be an actual drug user. He vividly described him picking up a vial and syringe and shooting himself up. And Holmes justifies it as being only a ‘seven-percent solution’ meant to stave off boredom and escape the world, like it’s not a bad thing.

It makes me wonder how Spencer, a rehabilitated drug addict, would react to reading that scene. idk man, i hope he would’ve somehow gotten a heads up about it!

is Maeve recommending Sherlock Holmes to Spencer because that’s who he reminds her of??

i have half a mind to reread all of Sherlock Holmes, or at least the ones they showed on screen, to write an essay on the thematic significance and any more spencer/sherlock parallels i can find

[knottyears]

I'm weak and couldnt stay off Tumblr, also just about to breakdown for no reason again but I guess I'll just vent on a small issue

The ship of bakugo x izuku was never my otp, or at least at first, and very close to being a notp until i began to ask why doesn't izuku hate him?

A question that's perpetuated by izuku praising Bakugou, continuing to call him kacchan, crying out and having a mental break down. Something I'm too familiar with.

But then it keeps going on and on with this weird admiration for someone that supposedly bullied him for all his life? Like what why? Even in my life when in an abusive/unhealthy relationships I wouldn't be happy or love the person who harmed me. At most it be confusing. Just why would you continue to say you love me, praise me, then turn around and belittle me or physically hurt me.

But for izuku it's never been like that.

After speculating on the nature of their relationship, I've deduced, Bakugou is an asshole. Absolutely so. But when growing up he never sought to hurt izuku or use him. From the very start when Izuku wanted to help bakugou, time after time in those flash backs Bkg made it clear he wanted nothing to do with midoriya. Pushing him away and no longer want to be friends or having anything to do with Izuku.

What, though, people have assumed, is that this had keeped going. Izuku following bakugo all the time. Bakugou retaliating with violence cause that all he knows. And it fustrating!

That version of their relationship isn't what we even have in the cannon story. Bakugou even said in the deku v kacchan 1 fight that Izuku was his stalker but that doesn't seem that means izuku was always in bakugou line of sight. Additional comments made was that bakugou never even considered izuku as even a background character to the narrative that would have his story. That Izuku to him was just a peble on the side of the road. Nothing he'd care abt.

In rewatching the earlier eisodes, in the first episode we're in izuku's perspective the complete way thru. We see his challenges and struggles and what he has to overcome.

But let me empathize: that what we're given is what's in those moments.

Those key story beats that get the plot moving. Especially in the first few chapters to reel the reader in.

But going back and re anylizing the first episode, when the class laughs at izuku. Did anyone else noticed that the whole class, even his so called all his life bully bakugou. Didn't know he was planning to go to ua? And that some commented that 'Hes planning on going the hero course? No way!?!' And with finding that out. That brought up the same fears and anxieties he felt when they were children. And wanted to do what he could to push izuku away again. By harsh(horrible) means, but as a stupid, scared kid that reacted with aggression and anger as he's grown up doing.

And there s more evdidence that other have stated as well.

So, The thing is, the relationship between bakugou and izuku is, that at least in the beginning of the show.

To bakugou izuku was nobody. Not a friend, not a target, just another 'extra' like the rest of his classmates. He didn't spend his childhood tormenting Izuku. That never happened in the cannon storyline.

And on Izukus half. Bakugou was this cool person who was unstoppable. Bless with a great quirk, a commanding personality, admires, praise and people who believed in him. Something izuku would have been envious of.

But more than that bakugou was a closer goal he could overcome and would!

To finish this late night ramble I'm just tired of saying they ship bakudeku, even if it's abusive. Cause then I want to scream.

If your head cannon of their relationship is abusive don't ship it. Those I've only mean two people like this and quickly blocked.

And if you come to me saying the ship is abusive because bakugou would abuse izuku, then you have a fucking fault in your head that keeps you from distancing you headcannons from the actual cannon of the story. Met to many people like this and I don't block most of the time but there just some by their insistents have cause me to go into panic attack and went to unhealth copping mech. And I couldn't deal with it anymore.

I hate having to block people, I like to be open to other peoples opinions, but there's a point where it has to stop.

Idk, what do others think? Cause while I want to hear more and still want to see other peoples perspectives including those of antis, there's just no safe way to go abt it.

[intruderzim]

Zim Has OCD: The Movie

i’ve wanted to write abt this for the longest time, so here i am Doin It!! (apologies for how messy its written, my thoughts are all over the place & im not the best at articulating them)

one of the reasons zim is such an important character to me is because of the mental illness symptoms he exhibits explicitly in the show. as someone who has fought a long battle with ocd my whole life, i know a lot about how this illness works & see a lot of it in zim. whether or not the crew intentionally created this character with mental illnesses in mind, this is what i see, based on my observances & a lot of speculation.

(buzzfeed unsolved voice) so with that, lets get into the theories

cleaning obsession:

the first piece of evidence as to why i believe zim suffers from ocd is obvious: his cleaning obsession. in canon, he needs everything to be clean ALL THE TIME. if a single thing is out of order, or not perfect & clean, it freaks him out. this is such a central part of his character that there was a whole EPISODE dedicated to it! in addition to this, i also believe he absolutely cannot concentrate if things are dirty in the /slightest/. he probably needs everything to be Clean Always, & when gir comes in covered in dirt & shit its just. devastating. his base is the only safe space where /he/ has control over everything that comes in and out, & a place that he knows for SURE is clean. he can control everything in it, therefore its safe!! which is also why going to school must be so stressful, as its FILTHY & when things are dirty they are Not Right. its hard to explain but when you have ocd, the distress you have over small things is magnified to the EXTREME. & zim definitely has the kind of reaction someone with ocd would have to those triggers. one of zim’s biggest triggers is the need for things to be clean, & its why he spends so much time making sure his one safe haven is free of germs.

zim has a definite phobia of germs as well, which doesn’t necessarily HAVE to go with the cleaning obsession, but the cleaning is a compulsion to cancel it out.

if zim gets preoccupied about something being dirty, he absolutely cannot relax until it is fixed. he couldn’t do anything until the entire base was deep cleaned, destroying every germ & mopping virtually every inch of the place! its very ocd thinking: all or nothing. it can’t be a “little” dirty, its always THIS IS HORRIBLE & TERRIBLE & FILTHY if there’s even a little dust. something i used to struggle with a lot was that i couldn’t use my electronics as i was scared i’d make them too dirty; even if my hands were clean. i couldn’t touch my computer or my phone because the very thought of leaving fingerprints on it or somehow else making it dirty was too terrifying to face. maybe zim would have a similar experience, not wanting to do certain things in his lab in the case he would “ruin” his equipment, if that makes sense?

zim also wouldn’t wanna touch things that are even remotely dirty that another person has used, this is dumb but like using someone elses headphones (which is complicated cuz ANTENNA) or wearing someone elses clothes, its just. Beyond disgusting to him

perfectionism:

zim is the kind of person who needs things to be “perfect” & if they’re not perfect, then it might as well be worthless. im positive zim needs everything in his lab to be absolutely how it “should be” & if there’s one thing out of line, it’ll mess up his whole thought process. & if it does, he’ll spend hours ruminating abt it.

zim obsesses for sure, over dib, & over his mission. he really REALLY wants to do a good job, & the way his mind thinks to accomplish this, in addition to other things is to obsess. zim is a huge perfectionist & he wants to be sure he is doing well, & to be perfect in the eyes of his empire. a lot of this ties in to his self worth issues, but some of it could have ocd to blame. he wants his inventions to be perfect, his projects to be perfect, his plans, etc. there can be no room for error. if something doesn’t go exactly as planned, its automatically the Worst & even if there is a small flaw, something no one else would notice, zim will, & it will bother him immensely. he wants to live up to his full potential & erase any indication of his “defectiveness” so if something is a little wrong, then its a big deal to him.

a lot of this next part is my own speculation but i like to think zim engages in compulsions as well?& it would only make sense to me as someone who’s lived it that zim’s ocd would branch out to other aspects of his life as well,since thats just the nature of the illness. zim could have “safe numbers” & do things a certain amount of times in order to be safe & “right”. having a safe number would also mean having a bad number that he’d avoid at all costs, so just like little things, maybe the amt of times he taps his foot, or blinks, or thinks abt something, itll always have to be the safe number & never the Bad Number.

im sure he’d get ocd intrusive thoughts as well, like hurting the people he cares about, things along those lines. thoughts that are inherently ocd intrusive. except sometimes he actually ACTS on these, he’ll get the thought “hmmm i could literally destroy half my home planet” & then actually GETS INTO A MEGADOOMER & DOES IT???

i definetly don’t think jhonen meant to do it, but he’s written a character who exhibits So many symptoms of ocd, & while zim isn’t rly supposed to be that much of a sympathetic character (ur supposed to look at him & think, oh ur Rly Stupid & u do a lot of dumb things) but what i see is a v severely damaged person who is behaving the only ways they know how. & i wish the show could go into deeper introspection abt it, but i know it wouldn’t because thats not the style of the show.

anyways. thats my two cents, you can take it or leave it. a lot of it, probably most of it is my personal hc but it means a lot to me if you’ve read this far & perhaps see what i see!

[superemeralds]

I never understood this about Shadow, why does he even work with GUN?

*rubs my gay little hands together*

Finally it’s time for my analysis of GUN, the current GUN commander, Shadow’s relationship with both of them and speculations on the future…………..

warning: it’s actually gonna get……….. really wild. This turned out to be mainly an analysis of the GUN commander because he is the main factor that influences shadows decision but im… hoooo boy.

TLDR;

The commander is a Robotnik and the character development he went through, paired with Shadows acceptance of his judgement + forgiveness of his actions, as well as their friendly bond by the end of the game, gave Shadow the feeling that it is a good idea to join forces with GUN to keep his promise to Maria in keeping the planet safe.

( +3k words; all referenced videos and audio files are transcribed for accessibility; sources/references at the bottom)

If you have any questions or comments feel free to shoot me an ask! If you have anything to add or critique (because I’m 49320% sure i forgot half of the things i wanted to address again), feel free to add to my post!

Okay so before we can make out why Shadow would join GUN, we should establish why people think he wouldn’t.

As you said, you can’t understand his decision (very understandably so), therefor let’s sum up why you feel like this, and then I’ll try to explain how all that can actually lead to him joining in the end.

We all know GUN is responsible for Maria’s death, so why would Shadow want to join them? It doesn’t make sense!

Well, you see, it doesn’t. Things don’t always make sense. Not on first sight anyways.

First thing we should note is that the current GUN commander (I’ll talk abt him a lot now) and his family were aboard the ARK during the time that Shadow was created. We don’t know why, as there are no hints towards his parents’ jobs. There are also little hints to GUN actually having employees up there.

It is confirmed that GUN was funding the ARK project and all scientists abroad, they probably had agents up there that would live among the scientists to make sure to report back to the base frequently and keep HQ up-to-date about new findings and development of the experiments.

If the future commander was aware of that, or his parents were part of GUN, is not clear.

Speculative it is to say that he probably saw the GUN soldiers in the big invasion that killed his family (his parents either were scientists that were exterminated so they wouldn’t talk, or they were GUN agents that chose to defend the scientists, or they were killed by the artificial chaos that went on a rampage*) as heroes, since he canonically blames Shadow for everything.

He did have a deep and strong fear of Shadow since the very beginning because he happened to see Gerald and Black doom in a room with Shadow together at one point in time and associated Shadow with the alien ever since. It’s possible he didn’t know about Maria being very close to him, or he tolerated it because it was her.

Actually. 

Actually hold your fucking horses everyone I’m onto something.

Okay so… You know how the commander is super inconsistent with the whole family and Maria dying deal right?

SHADOW: Damn it! What does it all mean? These memories… thedoctor’s actions and words… nothing makes sense! Wasit real?

* - The GUN Commander walks up to Shadow, and points a handgun athim.

GUN COMMANDER: It’s been a long time… Shadow.

SHADOW: Who are you?! And how do you know my name?

GUN COMMANDER: I know you… Shadow the Hedgehog. You killedeveryone I loved… myfamily… Maria. I’ve been waiting all my life for this day!

SHADOW: What?! Me… and Maria?

* - A younger GUN Commander and Maria are running in a hall on theARK. He hits his ass to taunt Maria, and she catches up to him.She holds him in place, but he starts running again.

GUN COMMANDER (voiceover): Maria was like a sister to me. She wasthe only family I knew! And because of you… she waskilled!

* - The younger GUN-C gets to the door to Geral’d lab, and looksin the glass. Inside, Gerald and Black Doom are talking nearShadow’s pod.

GUN COMMANDER (voiceover): Witnessing it all… the plan to createthat horrifying evil creature... that black creature, and that insane professor who unleashed it all!

* - As the pod starts to move, the young GUN-C starts screaming.The pod sits upright, and Shadow opens his eyes.

SHADOW: So… the professor created me… with Black Doom?

GUN COMMANDER: You don’t fool me! It’s not just about Maria.Thanks to you, everyone I knewand loved was killed when the ARK was destroyed. Worst of all, myfamily! Finally… justice is served!

I bolded everything that is important to my analysis,,,,

ANYWAYS AS I WAS SAYING.

The Commanders words about his family and Maria being killed are all jumbled. One moment Maria is the only family he had, the next everyone he knew and loved was killed. Among those people Maria and his family.

We have no canon confirmation as to who his family was and why they were killed on the ARK. (Read speculation above again if needed, marked with an *)So what if Maria was his family? What if he was a Robotnik himself?

Who says that he knew about Ivo’s parents?

He might be blood related, or adopted by Gerald.

How else would a kid end up on a Space Station that is primarily for scientific research? Maria and the future commander should logically be the only children up there, because Gerald brought them with him. 

The commander witnessed Shadow’s creation and knows that Gerald was involved in it. He felt a deep hatred for Shadow, aswell as Gerald, for what happened. He mainly blames Shadow for the incident on ARK, but he also holds resentment towards Gerald for having created Shadow in the first place. (”The insane professor that unleashed it all!”)

This would imply that the commander refuses to see Gerald as part of his family anymore after that had happened, which would figuratively make Gerald “dead to him.” Maria would be the only family he had left after that, and she was killed on the ARK.

He was not there when it happened, he was escorted by GUN back to earth while Maria tried to defend Shadow and help him escape. He never got told how she died, he just, presumably, saw her on the list of victims.

This event shaped the commander into wanting to become someone who can protect the innocent from harm and prevent needless death.

We see his compassion in other cutscenes!

* - The Presiden’t helicopter touches down on the landing pad andseveral GUN soldiers run over to it. Slightly later, the GUNCommander helps the President walk to the control room. The Presidentsits down in a chair.

GUN COMMANDER: Sir, are you all right?

PRESIDENT: Never mind me… What about the people of Central City?

GUN COMMANDER: No need to worry, sir. Orders were issuedyesterday, and  everyone hasbeen evacuated to the safe zone.

[…]

GUN COMMANDER: So he’s finally decided to show himself. Attentionall command units! Mobilizeall Mech battle sections! Prepare all weapons to strikeincoming vessels! Mobilize “Diablon”!

GUN SOLDIR: But sir! It’s not ready yet!

GUN COMMANDER: I don’t care!! We have NO other option!! We MUSTprotect the President, andthe Chaos Emeralds, at all costs.

* - In the White House, the President is looking at Westopolisfrom the balcony. The sky is dark red/orange. The GUNCommander and two other soldiers come in through the door.

GUN COMMANDER: Sir, your transport is ready. We must go now! Sir,please!

PRESIDENT: Once again… I have failed my duty to protect ournation.

GUN COMMANDER: Sir, it’s not over! We can continue to fight. Theblack aliens may haverendered us unable for now, but we will rally, sir. You  must keep yournation strong and together.

PRESIDENT: Yes, keep the nation united. No matter what happens,we’ll never surrender to these creatures.*looks at the picture of Sonic and Shadow* This much I learnedfrom them.

GUN COMMANDER: Sir, please hurry.

PRESIDENT: Okay.

* - The President and the two soldiers start to leave. The GUNCommander looks at the picture the President keeps on his desk before leavinghimself.

GUN COMMANDER: The black creatures will feel their own bloodyHell!

Again, bold lines are important!

The commander made sure to evacuate the entire population of a major city that is based off the Washington metropolitan area with a populus of over 6 Million people within just one single day.

For reference I researched how long it normally takes to evacuate big cities in real life.

“At around 10 am on August 28, Mayor Ray Nagin declared a mandatory evacuation of the city, after Hurricane Katrina was updated to a Category 5, the strongest possible hurricane. By the time the hurricane hit, at around 7 AM on August 29, later studies revealed that around 90% of the New Orleans population left. That’s around one million people within 21 hours.

Preparations for Hurricane Katrina - Wikipedia

This is important, as we can guestimate just how long an evacuation could take, if we assume that the cities can evacuate at a similar rate to New Orleans. Doing the math, this means that New York City takes around 8 days to clear out, and Tokyo needs around two weeks or so.

Thing is, however, evacuation procedures will likely suffer because these cities are much larger than New Orleans, so you might need to add a few days to them.

So, it’s more likely that NYC and Tokyo would need at least two weeks before the cities could be cleared.”

source

So he really did something really amazing.

He prioritizes to keep the President and the chaos emeralds safe above anything else and risks unleashing a new and unreliable weapon; and against what you might think- that he’s selfish/doesn’t care about the citizens- the reason he prioritizes the emeralds over people….. 1) They’ve already been evacuated.2) If Black Doom gets all of the Chaos Emeralds there won’t be an Earth anymore. No Humanity. He can think critically and in advance yall.

Also consider how he gives the President hope, not to give up. He’s confident in his abilities as commander, and his his soldiers, to do whatever they can to keep the people of their country, and the entire world, save. And he also emphasizes that the nation themselves should not loose hope, that the President should be a positive influence and stand up against the intruders (the aliens).

He also says he’ll return “their bloody hell” to the aliens, which 1) references his association of Shadow with those aliens and his firm belief that Shadow killed Maria (and by extend his (grand?)father Gerald ?).2) references the fact that the aliens have taken countless of soldiers lives already and that he wishes to return that favour to their kind.

The commander is generally a justice loving person who will do anything in his power to do the right thing. When it comes to Shadow, though, he seems to not have his personal grudge towards him under control and he gets a little extreme with his idea of justice.

GUN COMMANDER: Shadow? Deploy the troops, NOW! And if you findShadow with the black aliens…then kill them all.

GUN SOLDIER: But sir, isn’t Shadow on our side–

GUN COMMANDER: I gave you an order, soldier! He’s evil and he’sthe enemy!

//

GUN COMMANDER: Alert all field commanders in Sector B. I’mauthorizing full use of alltactical weapons. I want both black aliens and Shadow stopped andburied. Failure, is not an option.

//

GUN COMMANDER: Hm-hm… It’s over, Shadow. You’ll finally beexposed and eradicated forthe evil that you are.

//

GUN COMMANDER (radio): Come in, Eclipse Cannon! He must be stoppedat all costs! Take him out... that’s an order!

//

GUN COMMANDER: Shadow! Damn you! It’s been fifty years… justicewill finally be served.*cocks handgun*

This emotional side of him is a great flaw in a man of his position, but also a great strength.

As we know he confronted Shadow about his hatred and literally attempted to personally kill him.

* - He fires his gun, but Shadow’s now standing behind theCommander, faced away from him, with his eyes closed.

SHADOW: If what you say is true, then I will respectfully acceptmy fate.

GUN COMMANDER: You mean to tell me that, you really don’t remembera thing?

SHADOW: But I just need some time… to uncover the real truth.

* - As Shadow walks off, the Commander looks at his gun and fallsto his knees.

Shadow admits to not remembering any of what he is saying, but that he will take responsibility for those things if it’s true (WHILE NOT EVEN REMEMBERING ANY OF IT). This means that Shadow accepts the justice the commander wanted to serve. And also that he forgives him for being so bitter about it, for being so incredibly angry.

You might think it is because he knows what it’s like to hate someone for killing your loved one and then doing everything to avenge them but…. he doesn’t remember. He doesn’t remember SA2. All he knows is the empty feeling of rage and sorrow, that he can’t really put any context on. (He remembered that Maria died and that he wasn’t able to save her, but he never remembered how she died. This had to be told to him by someone else. Either it was directly shown to him by Black Doom when he uses chaos control to show Shadow the past, or by Doom’s Eye in a cutscene before a boss fight. (iirc anyways because I’ve gone through so much cutscene and script material now that I might mix some stuff up, please correct me if I’m wrong).

Once the commander learns that Shadow doesn’t remember anything and fucking accepts his plans to kill him, he is SHOCKED.

He looks at his gun, as if he’s realizing just what the fuck he was doing, threatening and literally trying to kill Shadow in an attempt to serve “justice”. He falls to his knees in shame for his misguided behaviour. He realized how foolish and childish is obsessive pursuit of Shadow was.

Later in The Last Way when Gerald tells the truth about Shadow and Black Dooms relation and Shadow saves the world….

* - All of the members are cheering and yelling.

GUN COMMANDER: *sigh*

* - The President pats the Commander’s back.

PRESIDENT: How ironic… After the way we all treated him, hesaved us all i the end. We were all wrong about the professor. Let us pay homageto Professor Gerald. Let’s work to ensure peace and prosperity for a brighter future! What do you say, Commander?

GUN COMMANDER: Excellent idea, Mister President.

They feel guilty for holding Shadow accountable for the destruction the aliens caused, aswell as for what happened to Gerald. They plan to reform the way they act in homage of Gerald Robotnik (and Shadow the hedgehog).

Now, it’s not confirmed when exactly in the timeline it is, but the commander does say this, but in Space Gadget (after completing the game I assume) during the training gameplay it is possible to get a random call from the commander which says:

“Shadow, do you read me? First… I want to apologize, for the other day. Actually, I just became a grandfather last week and I was thinking of maybe having you over. I know that training is tough, but try and do your best.”

(here’s the voice file in case you want to hear it)

This confirms that the commander is trying to build a friendly relationship with Shadow now and wants him to be part of his family (again. Since they are both Robotniks.). It could either be an invitation after Shadow already had joined GUN, or, and I think that’s more likely, he wants to discuss that matter when Shadow pays him a visit and they can talk about it in person.

Now Shadow does forgive the commander for his actions, and he accepts that what happened to Maria lies in the past and that it is not the fault of anyone else but the person that shot her, so he can’t be angry at the entire human race for it. He understands it now.

The commander makes a genuine effort to keep the country, and the planet, save; and GUN is an organization that focuses on keeping the world save. Shadow knows that it is impossible for one person alone to do it, so he likely sees this as a good option for help since he’s willing to cooperate with this commander. Due to his old age he would have to retire soon, though, so Shadow would also likely want to be inside that system to have influence on the new leaders in the future, so that GUN does not stray the wrong path again. (Be it shady experiments or useless killing.)

He likely agreed upon the request under the condition that OMEGA could join along with him, as well as the condition that he, OMEGA and Rouge are an inseparable Team that will work together from this day forth.

This is how I think it went.

Yes I got lazy towards the end because it’s super hot and I’m sweaty and my laptop is literally wet from my sweaty hands its disgusting akjsfhka

If you have any questions or comments feel free to shoot me an ask! If you have anything to add or critique (because I’m 49320% sure i forgot half of the things i wanted to address again), feel free to add to my post!

sources: (take the wiki ones with a grain of salt i only referred to the stuff that is absolute fact (sourced trivia, quotes and plot line); not personality descriptions or anything interpretative stuff since the wiki is also fan made and i disagree with some of that)

http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Shadow_the_Hedgehog_(game)

http://sonic.wikia.com/wiki/Commander

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/ps2/926671-shadow-the-hedgehog/faqs/39966

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mh7b_eml0EU (i used all 4 of those videos aswell as this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBisWZ8eKV0