#--where he gets his own head in a sack and freaks out over it LOL

[chaosintheavenue]

Finally made it.

First thoughts and some scenery below the cut!

First up, Trin and Vector (Sibling A) tried The Most Sensational Game.

In summary... we didn't get far thanks to absolute swarms of near-immortal Overgrown, and things didn't end well. The whole 'you'll get shot if you fail' gimmick is not a joke lol.

Second try: Tax Evasion.

Sibling A loaded in before me and immediately exclaimed 'This place looks like Watoga's brother!'. And holy smokes, he's right. Meet Watoga, but green.

I didn't get as many scenic shots as I'd have liked here, but I'll absolutely be going back.

Mandatory shot inside the Neapolitan.

The rug has ace symbols! The rug has trinity-esque symbols!

As for the expedition, we did manage to succeed with this one... eventually! We both ended up slowly chipping down Buttercup's health for about 15 minutes with drills after Vector ran out of every kind of ammo in existence, and the famous plasma cutter even made a reappearance towards the end. All in all, it's pretty fun, and a cool new environment, but I'd recommend large teams where possible.

Trin Moments:

She felt so freaking bad for Billy being thrown in deep over his head and then held responsible for the resulting mess, when all he wanted to do, in his own words, was math

She's barely had a chance to gamble yet (and what little experience she did get involved activating machines at random as she ran past them in combat), but she has been significantly luckier than Vector so far

The Batsuuri twins had a mild go at her over her constant indecision, which she won't appreciate (but probably needed to hear)

The Overgrown definitely need to be added to the 'especially scared of' tier of her creature chart! Damn, those things are tough. She went from spotting them in the distance and making the inevitable weedling jokes with Vector, to legitimately fleeing for her life much faster than I anticipated

Bonus point: Vector has been absolutely plagued by some of the wildest glitches I've ever seen during this adventure, not limited to: having the asset sacks stick to her hands so she couldn't throw them into the trucks (the throw animation worked fine, except the bag just... didn't leave her hand in the process), dying whilst on fire and thereafter being visibly flaming on Sibling A's screen- but not mine- for the entirety of Tax Evasion and even after returning to Appalachia, and managing to hit Buttercup at the perfect time and angle to cause him to levitate and clip through the ceiling.

[floshav]

are you alright? pt. 3

fem! reader x draco

angst with little to no fluff for this part (sorry to the fluff lovers)

read the previous parts!! (i must admit pt 2 was poorly written..)

warnings: slight cussing, mean draco, mentions of TW blood, bruises and harm to others, bullying

stay safe with the warnings yall

this gif that won't show up as gif lol >>>>>>>

Today was game day. The day where all teens could be reckless in their confessions just because the letters to their crushes could be anonymous. The day that y/n dreaded the most. Letter day.

She woke up with a dreary nervous feeling in her gut after being escorted back to her room by draco the other night. She didnt know how the day was going to play out, now remembering the letter draco so mindlessly left on Darcy's basket.

"Oh. My. God. Girls. Do you see this? handwritten and everything! oh my gosh his hand writing is to die for. i swear i am already getting soaked just by this letter, i cannot wait for tonight!! eeeek!"

ah shit. the day just had to begin with Darcy's demonic squeeling about.... oh no. Draco's letter.

"hey freak, you see this? this is something you'll never get. EVER! i wonder how it feels to be lonely and a sad know it all.... hm i guess i'll never know! my life is literally complete now, draco is at my feet as he should." Darcy blurted while shoving the letter in y/n's face.

"It must be sad depending on boys to complete your life. i could never." y/n finally bit back with sas

"excuse me? is that how you speak to my best friend darcy?" one of darcy's minions said dumbfounded

"yea i dont really care, annoying ass mfs." y/n said while making her way out the room, not storming or running, but walking. taking her own sweet time. This drove darcy to insanity just a bit more.

"You'll regret this you stupid piece of shit! come ere'!" darcy yelled with the most annoying tone ever.

before y/n knew it, she was on the floor getting sacked by Darcy.

"what the hell! Get off me b!tch!" y/n said whilst trying to plow her way out of the mess Darcy created.

"No. this!" darcy said with a punch "is!" another punch, "what!" yet again another punch, "you get! bitch!" thank god this was the last blow Darcy pulled onto y/n's head before getting pulled away by proffesor snape.

"Darcy! what in godricks name is this terrible behaviour!" proffesor snape said with disbelief as to why one of his favourite students was punching the living shit out of y/n.

"Proffesor! it was y/n! she did it first! i swear!!" Darcy pleaded with the ugliest puppy dog eyes known to man-kind.

"y/n.... it's always something involving you isn't it? is this true?" proffesor snape inquired with sterness and anger

"what?? hell no! she threw all the blows!" y/n said with absolute astonishment as to how Darcy could be this good of a manipulator.

"No! believe me please! it was y/n! not me!"

by this time a full crowd of eager and curious students sorrounded the scene, of course attracting the attention of a certain platinum haired boy. Draco.

"y/n? y/n- is that you? oh my god it is" Draco frantically spasmed while trying to push through the crowd of adolescents which have paraded the scene by now

"proffesor snape! let me take y/n off your hands. i'll get her all cleaned up ready for detention in no time sir." draco offered with genuine eyes

"Draco! finally. where were you? please get y/n sorted out.. and have her in the potions lab in 30. no later than that." Snape said while eyeing y/n up and down like a filthy dog.

"now darcy. i shall allow you back into the dorm to collect yourself. please see yourself by the potions lab in 30." snape said remorsefully as if Darcy had been the one beaten up just a couple minutes ago.

"come ere' y/n. time to get your beaten ass cleaned up." Draco said while strongly picking her up to drag one of her arms over his shoulder

"what the hell? that man definitely has something against me! he didnt even see me lay a finger on Darcy's ugly ass and yet he's treating her like she's the hurt one?!?!?" y/n said with pure anger running through her veins while clutching onto draco's shoulder harder than before which made Draco form a sour expression

by now Draco had been dragging y/n up to the prefects bathroom for the past 10 minutes with her constant whining and breather "breaks". Her face was all bloodied and filled with bruises, all caused by that stupid Darcy.

"There. We've finally made it! Oh thank merlin, you're so heavy." Draco said while resting both his hands on his knees like an old grandpa who just did a 5 minute jog

"Excuse me? Did you just call ME heavy? Maybe you should try carrying yourself! You'd probably fall 6 feet under at how heavy YOU are." Y/n scoffed while looking the other direction only to reveal that the prefects bathroom was surely magnificent.

She admired the marble tiles that lined the floor and all the sinks and toilet stalls that were actually clean. Not to mention the obnoxiously huge pool like bathtub sat right at the middle of the bathroom tying the whole thing together.

"Don't start with me y/n, you don't want to end up getting another fatal blow to your head now do ya-" Before Draco could finish his so called insult y/n let out an audible gasp of awe at how beautiful the area they were in was.

"Oh my merlin's beard- Draco! Why haven't you introduced me to this magical place any sooner! i-i the tiles! the ginormous tub! The siren glass sat on the wall so beautifully carved!" Y/n's eyes glimmered at every word she said and Draco couldn't help but to admire her even just for a second.

"Yea, truly breathtaking." Except Draco's eyes weren't on the bathroom but... her.

"Anyway, let's get you cleaned up before snape snaps both of our asses into two." Draco said with great fear

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ TIME SKIP!!

Apart from a few scratches and bruises littered on her face, y/n was looking much better than before she got cleaned. Draco had walked her all the way to the dungeon by now, laughing and conversing whilst on the way.

Now they both stood dumb in front of snapes potions lab contemplating how they were going to enter into this suavely.

"Draco! Are you sure you can't come in with me." y/n said with pleading eyes not wanting to face her battles alone.

"No y/n. You have to learn to deal with these things independently. My gosh, what would you do without me.. Honestly." Draco now said with a thinking expression as if he just said revealed a revelation of some sort

"Shut up. I don't need you anyway. Goodbye father." Y/n joked before taking in a deep breath whilst slowly swinging the wooden door open.

"Ah... Miss y/l/n. Good to finally see you after.." Snape said while looking up at the clock that was gloomily placed at the top of his potions shelf

"40 minutes. You are late which doesn't help your case by the way." Snape hissed before turning his attention back to Darcy who sat snobbishly early and innocent next to snape.

This was going to be a long detention y/n thought to herself.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ TIME SKIP !!

It had been 1 hour and 34 minutes exactly, as Draco worriedly checked his watch waiting for y/n to exit. He was supposed to be on prefect duties but decided to wait for his best friend instead.

Until he heard the sound of the door creak beside him.

"y/n! Finally you took like 5 hours in there. Everything alright? You talk it out with the devils?" Draco said with eagerness while walking y/n out of the dungeons.

Y/n took in a deep breath before starting.

"Lets just say, i ultimately hate Darcy 100 times more. Like cant that witch catch a break? Even in detention when i was bloody sweeping the floor and she was wiping the windows, she had to cause drama and purposely "push" a few empty potions bottles on the floor for me to sweep. Like actually she's so annoy-" Before y/n could finish her mini rant, she heard the voice of an annoying irritable rat interrupt her.

"A-Ahem. I'm right behind you, you know." Darcy said while catching up with the pair not noticing Draco at first glance.

"You know... maybe if you took care of your manners a bit more and stopped talking behind peoples backs, then bad luck wouldn't come your way." Darcy chanted before quickly noticing the platinum haired boy beside y/n who was now giving Darcy the death stare.

"Oooh! My bad- Did i interrupt your charity work Draco? I-i'm so sorry! She's the kindest angel ever just that she can be a bit coo coo at times so i understand if she's giving you troubles." Darcy faked her innocence while batting her non existent eyelashes at Draco.

"It's okay Darcy, i understand.. y/n can be a bit.... sucky at times but i agree with you. Tonight still on yea?" Draco questioned with a wink.

Sour thoughts exploded through y/n's mind as she felt the utter urge to punch Draco till he was bloodied and bruised just like she was.

"Of course! See you tonight my slytherin prince~" Darcy sang out before skipping away rhythmically

y/n and draco couldn't help but cringe at the statement made but decided to hide it with a fake thick smile

"What the fuck was that about Draco? You didn't even stand up for me!" y/n said with growing anger

"Listen, you need to learn to accept the words that Darcy says to you. Sometimes she's right is all i'm saying."

And with that final sentence, y/n felt as if her whole world was crushing down. Why was her only true friend acting this way? Was it time she realised she truly had nobody except herself? Not even Draco?

She felt as if she could cry a whole river, yet all signs of tears refused to come out at all.

---------------------------------------------------

The long and awaited pt 3 is finally out... I can't thank u guys enough for liking the previous 2 ones! Honestly i don't rlly like the plot of this mini series but it's wahetaver. It'll get better with time and you gotta trust me on that lol i would definitely say this isn't my best work, lol like i had so much more in mind for the angst element of it all but the outcome was meh honestly. So please leave requests!!! i'm begging y'all at this point 🤥💀

[beeapocalypse]

whos the collector they’re from dd right. i don’t know a lot about dd but i like seeing you post abt it. i like the beasts

^ my best freak friend forever !!!!

yea the collector is from dd ! its a wandering miniboss which has a chance to show up when your inventory is at least 80% full and its fight is based largely around it pulling out the gross heads of dead mercenaries and puppeting them around (u can see them in the first image on the left ! vestal on the far left, man-at-arms on the top, highwayman on the bottom) and upon defeat it has a chance to drop one of three head trinkets which are named after the default name for those mercenaries (junia, barristan, and dismas)

(^ here they are ! they are called "collected [class name]" and get spectral bodies when they attack i just did not want to find clean images of those lol)

i rlly love it bc its design is absolutely incredible (i do not have a gif of it but in its idle animation the skull will occasionally jolt around in the cage) but it also has some goofy elements. despite jumping YOU it has a chance to get surprised at the start of the fight (basically passes its turn) and one of its moves (left image) is called "show collection". its a pretty clear reference to the king in yellow (reoccurring character in a collection of short stories of the same name by robert chambers. the plot of the first four revolves around a play which drives readers into madness) like here is a cute little snippet from it

ive been getting into the Who of the collector recently like with the idea that its got little hideaways tucked away throughout the estate (the chest in hidden rooms will give u its unique loot drop- the puzzling trapezohedron- and Maybe a head trinket if unlocked with a skeleton key) and thinking abt the lines the ancestor has for it specifically. one encounter quote ("the sparkling eyes of youth- twisted and made merciless!") and one defeat quote ("a predator is often blind to its own peril") stand out in particular 2 me. easy answer is that the first line is that its meant 4 the mercenary heads but the idea that the ancestor has some sort of History with the person the collector used 2 be is SO good. another weird guy too into the Strange hanging around the hamlet

^ and here are some little extra images. the most low quality image of the collector minifig from the dd boardgame and a print which was shipped out to kickstarter backers !

[lizacstuff]

Your thoughts on the epi? And the trailers? I'm loving the in love Edser! We've waited so long for this!!!

This episode was so fun and fluffy! I don't know about you, but I am enjoying the tone during this second season. A lot. I don't care how stupid the audition process was for the spot in the school, it gave us some very good comedy and a lot of USTy, sexy, flirty goodness.

And like you, I also love in love Edser!

Thankfully this episode was dominated by Edser, and with Kiraz at Granny's house we even got some alone time. The supporting characters were used to good effect this episode, Engin and Piril were the funniest they've ever been, Kerem and Pina served to poke Serkan about his mentoring style, and it was actually nice to have an excuse for Ayfer and Aydan to share a storyline again.

(more under the cut)

However, we'll start with Burak and Melo. UGH. I mean I love Melo and Elcin has done a really good job of showing Melo's heartbreak and trying to hide her melancholy behind her usual bubbly personality, but I really can't stand that it's over such a dud of a character. I know I'm a broken record here but Melo deserves better than this fool. Honestly, he's such a bland sad sack I don't really get why Melo loves him, Eda wants to be friends with him and Ayfer thinks he's so great she wants him for a nephew-in-law. Well, for Ayfer the only qualification is that he's not Serkan, so never mind that question.

However, maybe there's some hope? Before this episode it seemed certain they were heading in a romance direction, but the way he told her she was like a sister to him? Is there really any coming back from him saying that after he remembered kissing her? On the other hand we're barreling towards the end here and there's not really enough time to introduce anyone new for Melo (and no indication from spoilers that they have) and I'm pretty sure Ayse and the writers want to give her a romantic happy ending (although I'd be fine if they didn't and instead had her go off and do something entirely for herself like go back to school or travel or open a shop). So we'll see, because even with the sister line they left some room open because Kerem was the one who suggested he say that (it wasn't necessarily his own idea) and with Melo he seemed to be coming from a place where he assumed he had forced himself on her and she was angry because she didn't want it. Which we know is not true, so might be a misunderstanding that leads to something more. Anyway, I guess we'll just have to endure whichever way they go.

Personally, I like the Serkan-Kemal father storyline. I think it's a good way to add a bit of drama in the waning episodes, gives Serkan a bit of an identity crisis, interestingly mirrors his own situation with Kiraz, and it just makes sense with everything we know of the characters. Because were we seriously supposed to believe that someone as sniveling as Alptelkin sired Serkan? I mean Serkan is the epitome of BDE, he has an inherent charismatic and commanding presence. Sorry to the actor who played Alptekin, but he didn't really have any kind of presence, however Sinan who plays Kemal, does. They've done a great job of casting, because it just feels true. I believe Kemal and Serkan share genetics.

However, even before that storyline starts in earnest, it's interesting that Serkan was being a big baby, not wanting his mom with a man she clearly loves. I wish Eda would have pushed back at him a little more when he was going off that Aydan shouldn't pursue love at her age! Does he think he'll be out of love with Eda by the time he's in his 50s and 60s? Of course not! I'm guessing Eda, though, is just letting him blow off some steam and come to accept the relationship on his own terms. Don't get me wrong, though, after all the meddling Aydan's done with Edser, she more than deserves to have Serkan's opinion of Kemal negatively impact her!

Loved that Kiraz and Can found out first that Kemal is Serkan's father! Cat is out of the bag, Aydan, you can't make a deal with a 5 year old, lmao. It put a nice ticking clock on the whole thing and gave us some good comedic moments where Kiraz is speaking the truth and everyone thinks she's just really fond of the dude. Hee.

Also I enjoyed the Aydan and Ayfer moments. To be honest, I also used to enjoy their true friendship moments when we got them, like when Kemal first appeared and Aydan was freaking out and needed Ayfer and Seyfi around her, and when they were trying to hunt down Deniz after the fake wedding turned real. After so much animosity, it was nice that Ayfer recognized that Aydan was truly in distress and needed a friend and they were able to actually talk. Also we got some (mildly) funny comedy with the two of them and the school lady. Speaking of Ayfer, thankfully she finally realized some consequences to her actions in pushing Burak at Eda. She hurt Melo! Glad she finally opened her eyes to see what should have been obvious to her (Eda never saw him that way, and Melo obviously did) and apologized to Melo. I'd like it if she would apologize to Eda as well, (and Burak deserves an apology as well because she most definitely gave him false hope) but since Eda wasn't influenced by her we probably won't see that.

Switching to Eda and Serkan this episode gave us lots of good stuff. This was a great episode for showing us where each of them stood. Eda is terrified of getting hurt and trying to hold him at arm's length even while he clearly is inching back into her heart, and Serkan is dreaming of their future together, and taking every opportunity to tie them together. How much did I love Serkan admitting he was poking at Eda, and doig things to make her angry, just so she would talk to him? Interesting that he's doing it and love that he's being honest and admitting it to her. One of my favorite relationship dynamics between them is around "talking." In the very beginning Serkan did a lot of complaining about how much Eda talked and how she never shut up, but starting around episode 18 all he wanted was for Eda to talk to him. And this is just more of that. The thing he wants most is to talk to her.

Plus watching domestic Edser is just so much fun, I could watch their full grocery shopping trip in real time and be perfectly happy, lol. At the age of 35 it's time that Serkan learn how to do a few things for himself, I don't care how rich he is, so it's nice that we see him evolving a bit as he embraces the dad role.

The jealousy gambits, even as mild as they are, are getting pretty eye roll worthy since Eda and Serkan are living together, care so much, and obviously are still so hot for one another. It's a bit more understandable from Serkan since Eda is the one creating the barrier between them, but are we really supposed to believe that Eda is jealous of Deniz when Serkan is so obviously in love with Eda and planning their future together? Especially when he clearly can't stand Deniz and tries so hard to avoid her? I suppose it's to show us that Eda is in a jumbled state, her head is trying to keep space with Serkan, while her heart wants him badly and is scared he's going to take her rejections seriously. Even so it was quite irrational for her to get angry at Serkan for having lunch with Deniz when she ordered him to leave with her. Poor Eda is in emotional turmoil.

It was hard to tell with shaky translations, but I guess Serkan claimed to have been injured while rescuing Eda and that's how he talked his way into her bed? Impressively done, Serkan. Love it because it meant we all got to wake up to snuggly family, snuggling together. This gave us another glimpse into Eda's psyche, she wakes up first, and is clearly enjoying it and feeling at home in his arms, until the sleep clears enough and her head realizes she's not supposed to be enjoying it. But once again Kiraz knows how to handle her parents and their complicated relationship beautifully and fixes everything with a pillow fight. That is one smart cookie.

One of my favorite moments of the episode is when Eda is trying to convince Serkan to go to Aydan about the school. Eda knows that her big eyes still work on him, and they did. He still can't say no to her, another one of my favorite relationship dynamics of theirs. I'm super glad some things never change. Speaking of their visit to Aydan's, how great that they went to meet the horse without a name as a family, and then Serkan finally came up with the perfect name. Definitely a star.

Love, love, love that Serkan and Eda beat Engin and Piril when it came to the 'how well do you know your spouse' game. They may have been separated for 5 years, but they both have a genuine interest in the other, so they remember things, and they always made a much more compatible couple than Engin/Piril who have absolutely nothing in common. Of course I adored all the fake married hijinx this gave us, not to mention all the opportunities for Serkan to touch, kiss, and hold her. SO MUCH UST!

The heart-to-heart on the bench was well done and it finally gave us Eda opening up and telling him what's been holding her back. She's scared. Of course she is, the poor thing. Serkan might have thought he was doing it for her own good both times, but he ripped her heart out twice (not even counting all the heart ripping he did during amnesia) how could she not have fears? Of course she's afraid! Whenever she lets herself love him and be loved by him, it's ripped away horribly, and often in ways that feels like it's him doing the ripping. She can take into consideration the circumstances, which she has or else he wouldn't be anywhere near her, and still need time to be sure she's not just setting herself up to get emotionally demolished again.

For Serkan's part all he can do is keep being there, being honest with her, and showing he's in it for the long haul, which I think he's doing and which is why they are where they are at the end of this episode.

Engin and Piril's dance practice is probably the first Engin/Piril alone scene that I thought was genuinely funny and fully enjoyable. I can't think of another... message me if you think there is one, lol. Elsewhere, I saw some folks saying that Engin and Piril should have won the dance competition, because they actually danced, and Eda and Serkan didn't. LOL, you think? I'm pretty sure that was the point. That Eda and Serkan didn't really dance, all they did was get up there and turn their sexual tension and intense smoldering towards one another up to eleventy and won because it's that powerful.

It's sort of a metaphor for this whole series. Sen Cal Kapimi is 100% powered by their chemistry. Of course they can win any competition by just pressing their bodies against one another! They can turn a ditzy Turkish summer romcom that probably should have gone 13 eps into an international hit that's going on 50 episodes, just by looking at one another.

I'm glad that the school officials overheard their conversations and dismissed them, any organization that requires this of the parents, is going to be a lifelong pain-in-the ass, lmao. Also it was good to see Edser and EnPir make up by the end.

Now, on to that ending. I'm glad the subject of the tatoos was brought up, interesting that Eda kept hers until a few months ago. Also interesting that she moved it... can't blame Serkan for wanting to see it. Was that one great seduction line, or what?

I join with everyone who thinks it was a slightly awkward place to leave the episode. We only have 13 (probably) episodes this season, and we've only had one kiss so far. That was definitely a moment for a kiss. Part of me thinks they were going for the cliffhanger, what will Eda do? Will she kiss him or slam the door in his face? Tune in next week to find out! Except that audiences have to wait no time at all for the fragman and that makes any such cliffhanger moot. So what's the point? Have her pull him in, kiss him, and the show can end with them passionately making out and the door slamming with the camera outside the house.

Oh well, it is what it is, and we can only hope they pick up next week right where they left off. As for the fragman, obviously they are fully back together for this episode which means she lets him in to hunt for her tattoo. (please oh please give us that internet ozel because I don't think I can stand being online in this fandom if they don't. Thankfully I'm traveling next week and will be too busy to spend much time on twitter.)

As I said in another ask, I'm not surprised Serkan is barreling them straight towards marriage. When you know, you know, so why wait? Once they emotionally commit to one another, they need to just get married. No waiting for psychos to interfere, family to meddle, or tragedy to strike!

Seriously can't wait for a full episode of them together and Serkan figuring out how to propose. I'm also looking forward to the Kemal/Serkan stuff, it will be interesting to see how he reacts once the news sets in... should be a great episode!

[novasintheroom]

Ooooo a fresh blog! Heyo there! So, my first request is some head canons, if you write them anyway, for the each of the turtles having a s/o who is usually the purest of beans. Like— she doesn’t get angry, usually shy when meeting new people, very humble, sweet and caring— but for the first time she does it’s like she realizes she’s frustrated and mad about something that happened during the day and it’s the first time she’s expressing it. the turtles notice her come in knowing something is off about her behavior when she’s usually so cheerful. Almost like “Sometimes it just makes me so— it makes me so... so...! Angry!” But she actually gets super surprised with herself realizing she’s actually venting just to say she’s fine in the end after bottling up for so long. The turtles just looking at her and asking if she’s okay 😂 If that makes any sense.. sorry if it doesn’t.

Oooooo my first ask!! I’m so nervous and excited! I think I got the gist of what you’re getting at. Thanks for sending this in, it means a lot to me! <3

Leo

·         Honestly caught off guard when you come in steaming

·         Your calm and sweetness is something he loves and looks forward to – it’s hard being the firm leader in his family when everyone pushes back, so you’re a pleasant break from the arguments and sassy remarks

·         Not today

·         It’s loud in the lair – Raph and Mikey are doing something with a basketball and hula hoop that’s got Raph raging and Mikey screaming, Donnie’s got a power tool going on the truck, and Splinter’s Celine Dion music is blaring to drown it all out while he works on pruning his plants

·         Leo’s up in the concrete rafters with a book, glancing down every other minute to make sure Raph doesn’t kill Mikey

·         He would have completely missed you coming in if Mikey hadn’t thrown the ball toward the entrance

·         You dodge the ball before it hits you, but instead of laughing it off like usual, you throw a dark look at his brothers and beeline toward the dojo.

·         Woah, that’s weird

·         Avoidance of his family = big red flag

·         You didn’t even say hi to him??

·         Hops down and follows, waving off Mikey’s calls to you

·         Finds you in the corner of the dojo, bag thrown to the side and hands smoothing out the sand of his small zen garden

·         Feels a bit awkward honestly

·         Listen, he’s getting better at it, but he’s not the best at feelings

·         Especially girl feelings

·         He knows something’s up though, and he wouldn’t be a good beau if he just let you simmer

·         Spooks you when he asks if you’re okay

·         Darn those ninja skills, how is someone as big as him so silent?

·         You sigh and just say you had a fight with your roommate and that it’s fine, you just needed some quiet before you went to his family

·         Okay, coolcoolcool. He can work with this. He and Raph fight all the time! “What was the fight about?”

·         Cue explosion

·         “She doesn’t pay her part of the bills on time, and she has her boyfriend over constantly and I can hear them through the walls when they’re screwing because the stupid cheap apartment has stupid cheap thin walls, and she leaves her dishes everywhere even when I ask her to not be a slob, and the landlord is getting after me for her rent when– “

·         W o w

·         He didn’t think you knew any swear words, but the names you’re calling your roommate would make even Raph blush

·         Your rant goes on and on

·         Anytime he tries to suggest a solution you get angry at him like why can’t he just listen omg

·         He shuts up quick

·         Somewhere in the process he sat down and your head moved to his lap while you laid all your problems out

·         By the time you’re finished your chest is heaving and it’s been an hour

·         Leo’s scared to say something in case you go off again lmao

·         He just plays with your hair and hums while you calm down

·         Finally you look at him with wide eyes, “Wow, geez, I didn’t think I was that mad.”

·         He can’t help but laugh, “Me neither.”

·         Your smile is back, though, and that’s the best thing he’s seen all day

·         “You feeling better now?”

·         You say yes, and give him a good hug and kiss as thanks for his patience

·         He asks you to come to him if things start building up again

·         Seriously, start talking to him – I don’t think the poor guy can handle another explosion like that lol

 Raph

·         Raph knows anger

·         Does he know how to deal with it? Ehhh that’s hit-and-miss

·         But he knows it

·         So seeing your tense shoulders, clenched fists, grinding teeth when you walk in – he knows you’re angry

·         It’s a bit off-putting tbh – you’re the calm to his rage, the quiet touch to wind him down when something gets under his skin

·         What happened to make his quiet girl so mad?

·         Did someone say something about your family?

·         Or something about your outfit?

·         Did a skeevy guy try to touch you?

·         Did someone try to kiss you?

·         Okay, now he’s getting mad

·         Decides to take a page from Splinter’s book and pulls you aside to talk

·         “What’s the matter?”

·         You pull at your sleeves, looking anywhere but him

·         You just mumble you’re fine, and that you’re hungry and try to move to the kitchen

·         Nuh-uh, that don’t work with him

·         Catches you by the arm and gives you a look, “Somethin’s bothering you, and you’re gonna tell me what it is.”

·         “And what if I don’t wanna talk about it?”

·         “Tough luck.”

·         Your glare could curdle milk, but you don’t say anything

·         Alright, you wanna play it that way? He’s got three brothers he grew up with; he can get it out of you.

·         Hauls you up and tosses you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and takes you to his workout station

·         Ignores your screams of outrage and the beating fists on his shell

·         They’re like little kitten paw pats; he can’t help but smile at how small you really are

·         When he sets you down in front of a world-weary punching bag, he crosses his arms and waits

·         You’re red faced and snarling. “What are you doing?”

·         He raises a fist, and gives the bag a good punch – “That’s for when Mikey backwashed into my water bottle today.” He throws another punch, “And that’s for Donnie’s stupid snorts waking me up last night,” and another, “and now I’m back on Mikey’s backwash!”

·         He stops the bag’s swaying and gestures for you to take a turn

·         Realization dawns in your eyes. You look at your fist and throw a pathetic punch at it. “That’s…for my fifth plant…dying this week?”

·         He almost laughs, but nods encouragement

·         You punch again. “That’s for whoever stole my lunch out of the fridge at work.”

·         And again. “And for those kids who spit on that homeless guy!”

·         And again. “And for Gina’s face when she made fun of my teeth!”

·         Punch after punch, you let out your anger and frustrations that boiled over today

·         Raph’s impressed – not just with how much crap happened to you, but how long you held it in

·         You’re a lot stronger than he gave you credit for

·         He’s also a bit freaked at seeing the rage in your eyes

·         Is that what others see when he comes at them?

·         Yeesh

·         You feel a lot better after the session, if sheepish for letting so much anger show

·         But he brushes it off, “Hey, you see how I am. It don’t bother me none, sweetheart.”

·         He pinches your butt for good measure as you walk back to the lair and laughs when you punch him in the arm

 Donnie

·         The one that takes the longest to realize something’s up

·         He can’t help it! He’s busy making sure his family is safe and hidden! He’s gotta keep the firewall up-to-date from all the new viruses being put out, check the perimeter lasers so that no one sneaks up on them, change the oil in the Turtle Tank, and why is the computer sparking over here, he needs to ask Raph or Leo to come with him to get new parts at the junkyard, but if he –

·         Bumps into you and is like ‘oh. how’d you get in here’

·         Delighted to see you though! It’s like all his worries suddenly vanished when he realized ‘oh yeah! I have a girlfriend!’ and that’s you!

·         Missed you a lot since it’s been a few days since you could visit

·         Starts showing you all of the progress he’s made on certain things, asks you how school’s going, how was that group project you had, did you get that interview for work?

·         It’s your clipped and short answers that finally makes him take a step back and really see how you’re doing

·         You’ve always been enthusiastic about his inventions, even if you don’t completely understand every technical thing he talks about. He thought you guys were past the awkward conversations too.

·         Clipped answers are a big no-no – it makes him shrink inside, like his words and ideas don’t matter

·         Takes a few seconds to look you over – awkward seconds, ones where you look down and away and not at him

·         “Are you alright? Did…something happen?”

·         You take a few deep breaths, trying to calm yourself, but then the words just start pouring out: “I’m sorry, it’s just, I can’t stop thinking about how my supervisors treated me the past few days. They scheduled me to work a triple shift! Without asking me! And I told them I had a date with you, and a million other things to do, but – “

·         You lay it out for him, apologizing every other minute for just putting this on him out of the blue, that you tried really hard to be happy coming to the lair but your boss just text you that you have another shift tonight instead of getting to hang out with Donnie, and –

·         Donnie sits you both down in a couple of chairs, his hands holding your own as you keep talking and venting

·         Rubs circles into your palm, eyes never straying from your own watery and frustrated ones

·         A breath out of the nose is the end to your rant, and you lean to put your head on his shoulder. “I just hate when people spring things on me! I just wanna stay with you and hand you tools to work on stuff.”

·         His heart warms at this, even if he’s sad at how sucky your job is

·         And it gives him an idea

·         He manages to hack into your work’s scheduling system and put your supervisors or fellow employees in your place for the night

·         Even sends out a text masked as your head boss to whoever he put, letting them know they’re on the job and that you had an emergency

·         You’re torn on this – those people had things they had to do too

·         But Donnie reassures you: “If they’re as bad as you say, then getting more people mad at them might just make them change. If not, we at least get to have our date night, right?”

·         Well, when you put it that way…

·         He gets a big, long smooch for pulling it off and for listening to you

Mikey

·         Listen, this boy is intuitive when it comes to emotions.

·         He kinda has to be with the type of older brothers he has lmao

·         Instantly knows something’s up by the sound of your feet coming down the tunnels – heavy, like you want to stomp them but don’t know how

·         He’s geared up though – his baby girl’s coming!

·         Hops off the couch and has the biggest grin for you when you walk in

·         Doesn’t even falter when he sees the glower on your face

·         Says something stupid to test the waters – “Woah, babe, I’m gonna have to call the cops – I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to be as fine as you are!”

·         Not even a smirk.

·         Okay okay. Obvi you’re not in a happy mood.

·         Man, he was hoping for a little blush at least!

·         Takes that heavy bag off your shoulders you’ve been lugging around all day and corrals you back to the couch

·         Grabs some sodas and a few chocolate bars from his hidden stash in the kitchen

·         He knows you need it more than him right now

·         Sits down and calls out to the lair that “we’re making out on the couch!!” Def keeps his family from coming in and interrupting lol

·         Isn’t even phased when you explode about your day – your coworker had it out for you, your professor told the whole class that your paper was what not to do if you wanted a good grade, etc. etc.

·         Mikey accents your day with “No!” and “He didn’t!” and “What a jerk!”

·         It’s cathartic to hear someone agree with you like that

·         He takes you in his arms when the frustrated tears start falling and you start to wind down

·         “It just makes me so angry, and I hate feeling embarrassed and…”

·         Rubs circles on your back to help calm you, just like his family did to him growing up

·         After a minute you’re better, and back to your sweet, happy self, if still a bit stuffy from the tears and snot

·         You’re surprised and apologize for your emotions, but he stops you

·         “Hey, everyone has their bad days! Sometimes you just gotta let it out, y’know?”

·         You give him a big kiss for being so sweet

·         Makes the day a lot better after that with the soda and candy and some video games

·         He’s a good turt <3

[jawritter]

Life Of The Party

Summary: A game of truth or dare gets’s really interesting, when alcohol is involved. 

Pairing: Rob Benedict x Reader

Written for: @spnchristmasbingo​

Square Field: Rob Benedict

Word Count: 1410

Warning: Implications of past as well as future smut, oral (male receiving), alcohol consumption, mentions of being drunk, language. This one is pretty much porn, not sorry. 

A/N: This fic is completely unbeta’d, so all mistakes are mine! This is my first ever Rob x Reader fic, so please be nice lol. Feedback is golden, do not copy my work! I hope you all enjoy this one!

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“Okay Y/N, truth or dare,” Richard asked, staggering into your circle of friends in his living room with an open bottle of Crown, and a bag of popcorn, flopping down with an exaggerated grown next to Jared, who chuckled at the thought of what he was gonna do to Richard when he passed out first as usual.

“Dare, pick dare,” Misha drunkenly whispers yells, elbowing you annoyingly. 

“Okay, okay dare,” you growl, swatting at Misha, who promptly falls off of the cushion he was only half balanced on, causing Jensen to snort out a laugh into his own red solo cup. 

“YAS QUEEN!” Richard yells, slapping his hands together, and giving you a mischievous grin that seriously made you a little uneasy. 

Richard had flown Jensen, Misha, Rob, Jared, Briana, Kim, and yourself to his house as soon as the quarantine was lifted in order to have a friend’s get together/Christmas celebration now that people were safely able to be in the same room with each other again. Richard’s parties were always a promise of two things, a good time you all hoped no one would remember in the morning, and a damn horrible hangover the next day. 

“Okay, okay, you have to go in that room back there where Rob is having a pity party for himself, don’t say shit, just drop down on your knees in front of him, and suck him off,” Richard slurs. 

Misha pops up off the floor like a gopher out of his hole, and Jensen nearly chokes to death on his drink, while the others laugh at their reactions. Briana slaps Jensen hard on the back as he sputters, and Richard keeps locked eyes with your completely shocked face. 

“Can’t I just go flash him or something?” you whisper to the circle in front of you.

Richard shakes his head and crosses his arms over his chest. “Nope, you either go in there and blow him, or you have to tell us what happened between you and Sebastian at Comic Con last year.”

Your ears burned and you knew you were blushing. The whole circle seemed to perk up at that little bit of information. You had told Richard about that little hookup in confidentiality, but apparently, alcohol brings forth loose lips from your extremely drunk friend. 

You weren’t about to throw Sebastian under the bus like that. Plus you don’t know if he wanted it out that he’d fucked Jensen’s PA at Comic Con. 

“Fine, fine,” you grumble, getting off of the floor with a huff. 

“Well, next time I’ma go sulk in a back room over my ex, then maybe I can’t…” Jensen started, but before he could finish Briana elbowed him hard in the side, “Ouch!” 

You chose to ignore his comment and tried to calm your nerves, crossing the floor to the bedroom door. An eerie silence had fallen over the room behind you, and you knew everyone was watching.

“Remember Y/N, not a word, just do it,” Richard said. 

Man, you hopped he didn’t freak out on you. Rob had been friends with you ever since you started working for Jensen as his PA when he took on a new role with the boys, as well as his new production company. It was a big workload, and he needed the backup. It was the best decision you had ever made. It opened up a lot of doors for you that you never thought you would have opened, but it also gave you friends you would cherish for a lifetime. 

Opening the door to the room you see Rob sitting on the edge of the bed with his phone in one hand, and an open bottle of beer in another, taking a deep swig as he turns his head to look at you from where he was gazing out of the window.

“Hey, Y/N/N,” he smiled at you as you closed the door behind you, slipping the lock to prevent them from getting too curious and coming in for proof. 

You cross the floor with your heart pounding against your rib cage, coming to a stop in front of him, and placing your finger to your lips, shushing him as you wink and sink down to your knees in front of him. 

You watched confusion flashed across his face as your hands slipped sensually up his thighs, making their way to his belt, undoing it quickly and lowering his zipper before he had a chance to react. 

“What...What are you? Oh, God.”

Reaching inside his pants you quickly remove his flaccid length stroking it in your hand and blowing lightly across the tip, smirking as his hips jerked in response, and his cock started to swell under your administrations. 

“Oh my God,” he murmured, quickly undoing his button and swatting you away only long enough to shove his pants and boxers down in a hurry. You bit your tongue, desperately wanting to respond with, “I thought you went by Rob now,” but remembering you weren’t allowed to speak.

By the time you took him in your hands again you were pretty impressed at the fact he was already fully erect, and already forming a little bead of precum at his swollen tip. Even more impressive was the sudden need you had to taste him.   

You had always thought Rob was cute, but you had never really seen him that way, not until this point. 

Giving him your best doe-eyed look you slowly run your tongue all the way up the thick vein on the underside of his cock, stopping to tongue at his slit, your own pussy clenching around nothing at the little moans that were already falling from his lips as his eyes closed and his head lulled back; the salty taste of precum invading your taste buds as you hollow out your checks and swallow all of him that you could until you were nose to hilt with him. 

“Holy shit,” he groaned, grabbing your hair and moving it out of your face as you bag to bob up and down his shaft, licking, sucking, and jerking what you couldn’t fit in your mouth as you went. 

You never expected this to turn you on the way it did, but damn. The weight of him on your tongue was downright intoxicating. It didn’t take long for his legs to start shaking, and his breath to come in short, uneven bursts as he got closer and closer to his release, his hips moving along with the pace you had set. 

You could tell he was close, right on the edge, all he needed was a little push to get there, and you had a feeling you knew just how to do it. 

Carefully you slip your left hand under his quickly tightening sack, massaging slowly, pulling more strangled groans from his lips as his legs tightened and jerked, almost there, but still not quite falling over the edge. Taking a deep breath through your nose, you hollow out your cheek and swallow him whole in one goal, gagging slightly around the tip, that was all it took for him to spill into your waiting mouth, and you eagerly sucked down all he had to give until he couldn’t take it anymore. 

Rob sat on the bed, wide-eyed and panting as he slowly got to your feet, carefully wiping your mouth because, well, dammit you were a lady after all, and giving him a wink as you head towards the door. 

“Merry Christmas Rob,” you say as you grab a hold of the doorknob, knowing damn good and well there was a crowd waiting outside the door because you heard them shuffle away at the close sound of your voice. 

“Merry Christmas Y/N,” he replied, voice much higher than normal. 

You exit the room grinning only to find a very disgruntled Jensen standing not far from the doorway. 

You remember his previous comment as you cross your arms in front of you, leaning against the doorway, more than a little riled up from the task you just completed, the alcohol making you braver than what you would have been normally, and after all, it was a party. 

“Truth or dare Jay,” you say with your best devilish smirk, one that he quickly returned, taking a deep swing of the whiskey bottle he was holding before pinning you to the door frame. 

“Dare.”

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[rhysismydaddy]

Naughty Neighbors pt. 3 (Elriel)

I think I might’ve actually died writing the first part of this not going to lie. Also don’t come for me changing the verb tense I’m well aware lol 

Coming next week...

“I’m not taking you to bed while you belong to another man, Elain.”

“I don’t belong to anyone.”

“Maybe not your body,” he agrees, placing a wide hand on her chest, right above her heart. “But I want this to be mine. And you’re going to give it to me.”

______________________________________________________________

~Elain~

It’s Saturday night, the first day of what’s shaping up to be a truly unremarkable weekend for Elain. Feyre’s art show’s tomorrow, but that’s the most exciting thing she has planned. 

She can’t remember the last time she’d been excited about something even was, actually. 

Pushing that uncomfortable thought away, she settles further in the bath and sighs. Desperate for entertainment, she tries to focus on the pages of the book in front of her, but her brain won’t cooperate. 

After another ten minutes, she resigns herself to an early night and gets out of the tub, slipping into one of her robes. 

It’s only eleven, but she gets in bed, forgotten book on her night table. Closing her eyes proves she is actually a little tired, because she starts to relax and drift off to sleep. 

But then she hears it.

A low groan sounds through the wall between her apartment and her neighbor’s, and her eyes go wide. She hears two people talk, then a feminine laugh. Which turns into a loud moan a second later.

Oh. My. Gods.

There’s a thud, then sexy, masculine laughter meets her ears.

Some shuffling sounds make Elain bury her head under her pillow,, the blush on her cheeks hot enough to melt the sheets away. This is so horrible.

But no amount of pillows could stop her from hearing what happens next.

The feminine moaning gets louder, then is joined by a loud banging directly on her wall. Was that his... headboard?

Good heavens above, he’s really going for it over there. 

There’s a pause, then the banging gets even more intense. The woman’s moaning is closer now, and she realizes with a start what’s happening. They’d moved against the wall. Her wall.

Oh, he's dead.

She’ll kill him herself if she had to for subjecting her to this. 

Except that’s not exactly what she feels like doing as she hears the asshole practically growl, “Fuck, baby.”

~Azriel~

Mor slaps my chest, giving me a strange look. “Fuck, baby?” she whispers incredulously. “That’s what you say when you get laid?.”

I just roll my eyes and mutter, “Shut up.”

“That’s the most embarrassing, male thing you could ever say. But keep going. The point is to prove you have better stamina, and we’ve only been at this for ten minutes.”

Barely repressing laughter, I wrap her jean-clad legs tighter around my waist and keep moving against her.

When she lets out another ridiculously loud moan, I say quietly, “This is so fucking stupid.”

“I agree, but I’m not the one whose whipped.”

In case it isn’t obvious, I really, really regret telling her about Elain.

As soon as she’d heard about Lucien “Shit in the Sack” Vanserra, Mor had been determined to help.

She’s my absolute best friend, the one who knows every sordid detail about my life, and tonight she’s made it her mission in life to help make Elain jealous.

She’s also a lesbian.

“So this is doing nothing for you?” I ask with a frown. I mean, if we were naked, this would be some of my best work.

She gives me a flat look, even as I continue fake-fucking her against the wall. “Not unless you change your name to Azriella and grow a huge pair of-”

“Okay, I get it. Laugh like I said something funny.”

Rolling her eyes, she does, and I force myself to huff a chuckle, too.

Gods, she’s right. I’m whipped. And definitely deranged. For a chick who isn’t even sleeping with me.

If my friends knew, they’d never shut up about it. Mor was the only one I’d told, and that was because she knows how it feels to have feelings for someone and not be able to do anything about it.

Plus, I’d been her fake boyfriend for years in high school before she came out to her parents, so she owes me.

Mor checks her watch and raises her eyebrows. “It’s been fifteen minutes. How long do you usually last?”

It’s my turn to glare. “Did you seriously just ask me that?”

“I’m just saying, I have a date in an hour.” 

She groans, so I wait until that stops and ask, “With who?”

“That really pretty barista I told you about, so I don’t want to be late. Five more minutes seems good.” I nod, because it’s nice she’s doing this in the first place. “Make em count, champ.”

I think I’m going to kill her one day. 

But I do. 

And by the end, we’re both breathing hard and have made enough noise to wake the whole building. After a very obnoxious climax, I let Mor down. “You realize if she does ever have sex with you you’re going to have to-”

“It won’t be a problem,” I assure her, one-hundred percent confident in that fact. 

She gives me a disbelieving look but just shakes her head and ruffles her hair. Once at the door, she turns and whispers, “She’s going to look out the peep hole, so I’m going to kiss the shit out of you.”

With that, my best friend swings the door open, turns around, and puts on an expression I’ve never seen before. It’s desire and satisfaction and something else entirely I don’t want to read in to. It’s disgusting. 

But I act like the “champ” I am and don’t react, even as she pulls my face down to hers and kisses me. 

Her nails rake down my bare back, and even though this does absolutely nothing for me, I wrap my arms around her and lift her clear off her feet to bring her closer.

Don’t get me wrong, Mor’s beautiful and all, but she’s my best friend, and this is giving me flashbacks to homecoming and prom and every other time we had to put on an act.  

How long till this is over, exactly?

~Elain~

Watching him kiss that woman... Elain can admit it does strange things to her. Like makes her want to storm out and yank them apart, then scream. 

She somehow refraines. 

He finally lets her down, and the rage and frustration builds to an insurmountable level because she’s freaking gorgeous. The kind of gorgeous where Elain was tempted to go kiss her herself. 

How annoying. 

Turning on her heel, she stomps back over to her bed and flops down. 

She’s hot and cold and her core is so tight it's almost painful. 

Never, not once in her entire life, had she thought she’d be turned on hearing something like that. 

But picturing him... doing that, and so close to her own bed... yeah. She’d almost come herself, and she was in a completely different room. 

Gods, she’s pathetic. 

And she can absolutely never see him again. 

That’s beyond obvious.

Terrible liar she is, she knows it would be all over her face. What would she even say? Oh, hey neighbor. Heard you really give that woman a good time last night. So good, in fact, you almost got both of us off. High-five!

Nope. She’d rather move across town before running in to him again. 

Even though the thought makes her strangely sad. 

She falls asleep soon after, mind going back over every tiny detail she’d heard tonight until she’s surprised she can sleep at all. 

~Azriel~

It’s Sunday morning, meaning I don’t have to work. Meaning I don’t have an excuse to see Elain. 

But fuck do I want to. 

I can’t hardly wait for the blush I know will pop up on her cheeks. I probably won’t have to even speak for it to happen. There’s no way she didn’t hear the amazing fake sex I had last night. She probably won’t even be able to look me in the eyes. 

So I wait until I hear her get up and start shuffling around in her apartment. 

Then, like the creep I am, I sit on the couch and wait for her door to open so I can go out and tease her until she slaps me or something. 

But it doesn’t. I sit there until it’s four in the afternoon, and that’s when it dawns. 

She told me herself she checks her garden on Sundays--a fact she knows I know--so the only reason she wouldn’t go... 

She’s trying to avoid me.

A laugh bursts out of me. 

Oh, Elain. Baby girl, that just won’t do. 

I grab my laptop and look up the MOMA exhibits for this weekend, a probably-evil smile already blooming on my face. 

~Elain~

Should I go out the window? 

No, I live on the third floor. 

But... 

After looking at the drop down, she decides that’s definitely not happening. She’ll have to go the normal way. Which means she’ll have to walk by the door next to hers. Which belongs to him. 

Gods, she was sweating already. 

Which isn’t good, since the silk of her dress will definitely show it. Forcing herself to calm down, she grabs her clutch and slowly, quietly, opens the door. 

Empty. 

Before that can change, she hurtles down the hallway and stairs, breathing a sigh of relief when she steps outside. 

It turns into a strangled gasp as she looks up from the cement. 

Her neighbor’s standing in front of her, looking dark and alluring and inexplicably handsome in the twilight sky. 

But that’s not why her breath goes a little shallow. 

The dark jeans, boots, and t-shirts he’s worn every time she’s seen him have now been replaced with a black suit, crisply cut to his tall frame. 

He looks so handsome she can hardly remember she’s supposed to be avoiding him. 

But then the why of that statement comes rushing back, and her cheeks go pink. He looks pleased at that, even as his darkening eyes roam over her frame. 

Her dress is floor-length, but the spaghetti straps and low back make it revealing. That, and the fact that the silk fabric clings to every dip and curve of her figure. 

His eyes notice it all, all the way down to her heel-clad feet and back up to her softly curled hair. 

“Elain.”

It’s just one word, and it’s one she knows well, but it’s somehow everything. 

Now more than ever, she wished she knew his name. It usually seems like a little game, but now it feels like a whole in her chest. She wants to know him. 

Wants to know how to say his name in a way that makes him feel like she feels right now. 

“You look beautiful,” he comments, sliding his hands in the pockets of that damn suit. 

“Thank you. You look nice, too.” Nice? More like devastating. He just shrugs. “Hot date?”

A small smile graces his full lips. “No, that was last night.”

“I’m aware,” she bites out, face starting to heat. Her body’s reliving last night, and she has to force herself not to press her legs together. 

“Just wanted you to know how it’s supposed to be done.”

“How considerate.” 

He steps close, so close they’re sharing air. “Did it bother you, listening to me with another woman?”

She sure as hell can’t tell him the truth, so she says breathlessly, “Not unless you count the nausea.” 

Damn him for turning her into a liar. And damn him for smelling so good.

There’s an arm around her waist, a hand on her hip. He’s so close now that his lips brush her ear as he whispers, “Did it turn you on?”

A whimper escapes her lips, so she bites one to keep herself quiet as she shakes her head no. 

“Elain, you are such a little liar,” he scolds, pulling away to smirk at her. “You’re blushing.” A finger runs down her cheek. She bats it away. 

“We should get going,” he observes, checking his watch. 

That gets her attention. “What?”

His lips twitch as he says, “The MOMA exhibit is tonight, right?”

“Yes, but-”

“Well, we should go then.”

Oh, gods above. He’s planning on attending? With her? 

This is a terrible idea. But one look at his devilish smile tells her there’s no changing his mind. So she sighs and says, “We’ll have to get a cab. It’s across the city.”

“I’ll just drive, then,” he says, throwing her completely off guard once again. 

“Wait a second. You have a car?”

He looks amused as he takes her hand and pulls her down the street to where a dark, expensive looking SUV is parked. “I do.”

“Then why do you walk to work?”

Opening the passenger door, he turns to look her in the eyes again. “Well, you know what they say. Best way to start the day...” is a quick lay, she finishes in her mind, cheeks going pink. “-is to see a friend.”

Oh, he’s such an unbearable asshole. 

She ignores the little smile he gives her and climbs in the car, and soon they’re off. For a minute it’s silent, but then she asks quietly, “Why are you coming tonight?”

“I wanted to see you. And I’ve never been to a museum. Figured I’d have the best guide this way.” 

Reasonable enough, she supposes. Even if the way he looked at her earlier told her seeing a museum had nothing to do with art. 

She doesn’t have enough time to contemplate it, though, because he pulls up in front of the MOMA and parks, then they’re heading inside. She’s happy to see there’s quite a few people here, something she knows her sister will appreciate, too. 

Said sister rushes over immediately and smiles. “You made it!”

“Of course I did.” When she eyes the man next to her, she says awkwardly, “Um, Feyre, this is... my neighbor.”

She really has to find out his name. 

“Nice to meet you,” he says, extending a hand. “It looks like a good turnout.”

It was the right thing to say apparently, because Feyre beams. “I know! Hopefully they’ll all sell. There’s a surprise in there for you, Elain.”

Oh, gods. That usually meant something bad. Like being the subject to her sister’s very comprehensive photography exhibit three years ago.

“Anyway, you guys look around and have fun. There’s champagne in the back. Thanks for coming!” 

Elain hugs her sister tightly before she can disappear. “I’m proud of you. This is great.”

Feyre rolls her eyes as she pulls back, but they’re a little misty. “Oh, shut up or you’ll make me cry.”

Then she kisses Elain’s cheek and turns to talk to more people coming in. 

“Champagne?”

Turning to the man next to her, she smiles and nods. That sounds like an excellent idea right about now. He disappears, so she ventures to the first room. 

It’s all landscapes, beautiful paintings of mountains and the night sky and beautiful pictures of nature. She’s standing in front of one, smiling, when he comes back. “That’s your garden, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” she says softly, staring at the piece in front of her with new eyes. The night they’d first met creeps into her mind, and she sees him in the painting, lounging on that cute little bench, cigarette dangling seductively from his lips. 

“You look sad.” His voice is quiet and soft, and she turns to meet his gaze. 

She has to look away, though, because he’s right. She is sad. 

Thinking about that night makes her think about what could’ve happened. How different this last week could’ve been. 

But she can’t tell him any of that, so she just turns to walk to the next room. The man next to her pauses, and she sees why as soon as her gaze goes to the wall. 

Roses, carnations, lilies. 

Tulips, orchids, peonies. 

All her favorite flowers are on the wall, the paint blending together and creating the most beautiful collage she’s ever seen. They’re all over the wall--there has to be at least fifty paintings in here. 

And in the middle of them all is the front of her shop. 

It’s an almost perfect rendition to the door of The Archeron, with the glass walls and flowers almost bursting out. 

The whole room’s been designed to look like the inside of her shop. 

A tear escapes down her cheek as she looks at the art around her. Gratitude, love, and happiness almost erupt from her, and she notices something. 

The man next to her notices it at the same time. “You feel something.”

“Yeah,” she replies happily. “I do.”

He smiles, and it’s not one of his usual little grins or smirks. It’s a full smile, showcasing all his perfect teeth. “So do I.”

The voice inside her head tells her he isn’t talking about the paintings. 

And for a minute, Elain just stands there, flowers blurring in her peripheral as she stares at him. 

“Please tell me your name,” she whispers. 

He smiles again, taking a step towards her. And it’s just as he’s leaning down that he opens his mouth and-

“Elain!” Feyre bursts into the room with a wide grin. “What do you think?”

She practically jumps a mile in the air, but she recovers quickly and says honestly, “I love it. Thank you so much. It’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Excuse me,” her neighbor says in a low voice, eyes on something in the distance as he heads to the front of the store. 

Feyre watches him go, and as soon as he’s out of earshot says, “Okay, now that he’s gone, can you tell me what’s going on? Did you and Lucien break up?”

Elain notices her sister doesn’t exactly sound sad at that prospect. “No, why would you think that?”

“Because you came here with him, and he looks like a villanous-”

“Prince Charming? That’s what I said!”

They laugh, but then Feyre smiles knowingly and asks, “You know he’s in love with you, right?”

The words clear a path through her chest, even as the heart inside swells. She suddenly can’t breathe, can’t form a normal thought. That’s... impossible. 

“What? How do you know?”

“Because he just went to buy that painting,” she says softly, motioning to The Archeron’s door. 

She shakes her head. “No, he didn’t.”

Feyre smiles, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Yes, he did.”

“Oh, gods,” Elain whispers, pulse starting to race. 

“You like him, too. It’s obvious to anyone who isn’t you.” Feyre flicks her nose playfully. “So stop thinking so hard. Just do what makes you happy.”

They say goodbye, and Elain turns to leave, finding him by the entrance. They walk outside in silence, then ride home in silence. 

Something’s different between them, and it’s created a tangible tension in the air that makes it hard for her to breathe. 

It’s only when they’re in the hallway outside their doors that she quietly asks, “Did you buy that painting?”

His body goes a bit tense, but he looks at her and answers, “Yes.”

“Why?”

“I told you.” His eyes are warm, like chocolate and caramel and smoke. And they’re looking at her like she’s everything to him as he says, “I felt something.”

“Liar,” she accuses, stealing his line.

His lips twitch, but he doesn’t say anything, so they continue to stare at each other. She knows him so well already, but there’s one thing she’s still dying to figure out.

Just as she’s about to ask, he murmurs, “My name’s Azriel.”

She tells herself it’s the deal, the arrangement. She tells herself it doesn’t matter. She tells herself she’s just paying the price. 

Elain tells herself all sorts of little lies as she steps forward, takes his face in her hands, and presses her lips to his. 

______________________________________________________________

Wrote this in one setting sorry if it’s shit. Part 4

@wineywitch202 @astreia-oniria @keshavomit @zukos-simp @whimsyrhys @lameomclameo @thedarkdemigod @captainthefangirlofhp @elriel4life @queen-of-glass @courtofjurdan @nessiantho @texas-shaped-waffle-maker @stardelia @myshadowsingeraz @tswaney17 @illyriangarbage @nicerhero @fancycrowncat @sjmships @perseusannabeth @cursebreaker29 @girl-who-reads-the-books @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @superspiritfestival @studyliketate @over300books @justgiu12 @maastrash @a-bit-of-a-cactus @aesthetics-11 @bamchickawowow @b00kworm @poisonous00 @sleeping-and-books @musicmaam @afifthofvodka @hizqueen4life @maybekindasortaace

[anteroom-of-death]

Life, For Dummies p6

a/n: so the words just flew out and boy. much thanks to all who read and commented and reblogged/liked! im sorry ahead of time! it will get uptempo again.optimism, babes.

You stood in the console room in wait, you had no clue the punishment that lay waiting. You didn’t know what was going to happen and that was worse than knowing. There had to be worse consequences for a consummate freak out that bordered on betrayal. 

For a snap you thought of just reverting back to being her companion just to smooth things over. To stop all the madness that was bound to ensue. But you didn’t. You held your ground, despite having to run away. 

You shivered involuntarily. You felt like a freezer that happened to be left open all night. You let yourself be crippled by everything. Seeing them left you blindsided, if you were a quarterback it’d have been a sack at the tenth yard line. 

Did that make the Master the coach?

You ended up stripping off your blazer and leaning over the console, mildly hyperventilating. Your arms glistening with sweat in the ambient lights. 

The door swung open and you hunched up. Jaw clenched your ringing in your ear came back, drowning all else out. 

You swore he was speaking but your mind was so swirled with thoughts and crackles and the persistent ring you ended up trying, “Get on with it, punish me. Kill me. You know I’m no good to you now.” but it came out garbled, as if you suffered a stroke. 

Maybe you did. 

You started a brief list of stroke symptoms but decided, was no use. If he was going to do what you thought, he’d probably use your own laser screwdriver against you. 

You suddenly remembered ages ago yourself in a similar situation. You disrespected him. You’d’ve done it three times now. 

If going by the sudden need for sports metaphors you were currently riding, third strike- you’re out. 

He wasn’t doing anything and that drove you absolutely insane. Clutching your sides, you spun around and met his eyes. Those eyes, so large and so beautiful and emotive were virtually unreadable. Your vision was getting blurry and your eyes started stinging. You were aghast with the day. It was a simple scheme. How could it go so wrong. You had heartburn. The acid was rising in your stomach and you tried to not hurl. The anticipation was getting to you on all levels. 

You elected to allow yourself to black out. You were headed that way, so you just gave into it without a fight. 

When you came to, you found yourself at your house, on your couch. Your favorite mug with your favorite tea blend was waiting for you and across the room leaning on your wall was him.

The Master. Your Master.

“Nice touch, passing out. Noble even.” His eyes yet again unreadable voids. 

Your head pounded and the back of your skull was a dull pain. 

You did notice and take appreciation from the pillows cupping you and your feet up.

“We need to talk.” His voice was just as unreadable as his eyes. The sentence flooded your throat and dropped into your stomach. You clenched your eyes and relaxed your jaw as you brought yourself up and cupped the mug gingerly. 

“Thank you.” You gave him a meager smile in genuine thanks. 

“Don’t think of it.” He waved it off.

He was uncharacteristically devoid of emotion or passion. Stoic. 

You took a few sips, letting the warmth and the taste give you strength and some comfort. You had lots of experience where this was going. Why fight it? He was an ageless alien and you were a human. The fact that he gave you all you got was phenomenal. 

You could feel your heart stop when you put it down. The silence was starting to get to you.

“I need some time.” He murmured, voice silky. 

“How long?” You hoarsely whispered. 

“No clue. I just need to process this.” 

What was processing time? Feasibly for him? You could be just here for a few moments and he could have taken centuries. Or he could have taken a day or 36 hours and you could already be dead. 

Maybe he was just telling you this to shake you off and stop more damage. 

You wanted to fight him on it. But how? Your jaw unlocked and lay slack. 

“You have a concussion. I’ve dealt with the necessary care. I put some pills that’ll take a week to heal you up properly.” He pointed towards the vicinity of your bathroom before pushing off your wall and headed towards a curio cabinet you really didn’t notice until now. 

Obviously, more than a week.

“Text me?” You said.

“Maybe.” He looked at you, his eyes were big and seemed filled with nothing but agony and resolve. 

You swore you saw his mouth move and a whisper of something you couldn’t make out. A different language.

He stepped in and the curio cabinet vanished from your living room. 

You leaned back, the Fam mentioned that your place was dusty, but obviously he must have broken out the dust buster. That was sweet of him to take care of the place before you were unceremoniously dumped on your ass. You went for your neck. The collar that you usually stroked in times of stress was gone, along with him. 

What was the date? You had no clue. Days passed, flooding into weeks. This agony of not knowing outweighed anything. You vaguely remembered the Covid-19 “shelter at home” but that was truly another life entirely. 

Twenty-twenty passed on and you had to get a new job, but nothing seemed to take for you. You’d either get fired for lackadaise or not showing up or quit out of the blue because you felt deep down you deserved better. Dozens of civilizations across the stars probably still spoke of you in hushed tones as a haughty goddess, or Queen sent by the divine. 

The nights were the roughest. A few times the cops were called because you were wailing in your sleep. They soon just stopped coming, unless your neighbors just accepted it as the new normal. 

If you could joke, and if you were in a joking mood, you’d probably remark how this was just like Bella Swan in New Moon “sksksksksk jksk lol!” But you weren’t anymore. You weren’t in a joking mood no matter what at the time. 

Life, without the Master, simply wasn’t worth living.

How could you go back? After all those stars seen? People met? And emotions felt. 

You felt your heart harden and break. 

You half thought of trying to push through the pain and see if you could somehow contact him. At least see if he was okay. Especially since you overheard the news at a metal bar you started working at that some strange lights followed by a subsonic explosion happened in a small city far away and there were confusing footages being leaked on social media of Daleks and death. It went away in a day, but still. You swore you heard a TARDIS in a few of the Facebook Lives people did as they died.  People thought it was a hoax. People were so dumb.

It made you ache. 

Maybe it was the Doctor, or the Master convincing them to go destroy somewhere more important. 

It was more likely her. 

You didn’t know which one would be worse, just in case more footage was released and you saw a flash of a face. 

You broke again, dropping the heavy drink laden tray on the ground and locking yourself in the walk-in fridge. Rackus sobbing came out of your chest like a snarling animal. You had to get yourself together before you lost the only job you made good tips at. You knew it was purely because the uniform was trampy, and not your sparkling personality or wit. You placed your head between your thighs and screamed through it, trying to see if that would stop you from your tears. It was literally more time that had passed than you had actually ran away with him at this point. 

You should have moved on. If not moved on, repress it enough to worry any mental health specialist. This wasn’t like you.

So you tried therapy. 

The big mistake there was dumbing it down and humanizing the Master and the Doctor so you didn’t sound like you needed inpatient care or to go on some watchlist somewhere in the universe. Let alone your planet. 

Some people somewhere might want to abduct you and harvest your organs for the residual artron energy. That could be valuable on certain markets. 

Or your brainwaves. Some planets would pay rogue Time Agents to harvest them and the knowledge you knew and technology you learned.

You became more skittish when walking at night. You had gotten so used to just blasting anyone who’d try to wrong you with your screwdriver. It was a crutch you missed. Every moving shadow scared you.

You also had to consider someone, somewhere might be angry enough with him enough and see that his little human whore was no longer velcroed to his side and go look for you. Penance for his actions, delivered unto you.

Not like he would care, obviously he was far gone and far away.

Your manager came in and gave a quick look at the sight before him.

“Why are you in here? People at table 6 were complaining. Had to give them vouchers and comp their bill.”

You wiped your eyes and got out from your hutched state, “The news. So much death.” You snorted up the snot threatening to leak out. 

Strange cognitive dissonance coming from someone who aided in toppling empires and had a past of executing people.

It wasn’t that, but my goodness, you had to sell it. It was a human thing to say.

“Oh, wow. I’ll give you a minute, then get back to work.” He closed the door gently and let you be. 

You paced and paced and thought, “What would he do?” But all the answers involved space tech you didn’t have in a five by eight cooler. Or loud theatrics and sass. 

You had none of those. 

For the first time in a while, you went to your neck and rubbed at it, wishing you still belonged to him, and you knew what to do. Anger flooded through you and honestly, you didn’t know who it was directed at. The anger felt good. A blistering difference to the waves of agony and silence in you.

You bratted off and knocked down a row of premade salsas and stomped out before heading to table 6. 

“Oh, so you didn’t fancy me dropping the drinks? Or whatever? You were complaining about the shape of the wings earlier? Anything else, your highnesses,“ You false curtsied before straightening out and untying your apron and tossing it on the ground, “Anything?” You spat.

They recoiled. 

The paunchy middle aged man asked, “What the fucks your problem? Like, what do you want? Cause you’re definitely not getting a tip now?”

An idea shot into your brain, “What do I want?” You jabbed a finger at yourself, “I want you to kneel!” You pointed at him and made a vague “get down” gesture with your index finger. 

“Kneel?”

“Kneel!” You ordered, all the chutzpah of a former self radiating through. You tossed a glass at that man’s head. It was no laser to the stomach but would do the trick. “I said, kneel for me, love.” 

The blood streaming from his head as he obeyed you, his fatty neck blubbering in pain and tears streaming down his face filled you with nostalgia. It felt good to be in this position again. Someone obeying you, the fear in their eyes, the sense of power it gave you knowing that you held the keys to their fate in your hands. A small pool of wetness nearly started between your thighs. Power was just so good, and feeling the fear come to him? Icing on a perverse cake.

Him kneeling was almost as natural as it felt for you to kneel ages ago. A labored, pleased breath escaped your lungs as you smiled and let off a laugh.

You turned to your manager and gave a grimace, “I quit, I just can’t take the pressure, dock my pay for the damages. Bye.”

You grabbed your stuff from behind the bar and ran out again from yet another job. 

At the back of your brain, you knew that possibly you’d go to prison for this. You assaulted a man. Out here in the real world, not the magic little world of madness, assault meant fines, sharing a prison cell with someone called Big Irma, ugly orange jumpsuits and a permanent record. Something that would prevent you from life.

Not that you had a life anymore. 

You arrived home and finally allowed yourself to let out all the true amount of tears you felt. You fell asleep on the linoleum of your entrance hall waiting for the cops to show up and take you away.

You were out for over a day, you woke up so sore and dehydrated. 

But the brunt of your emotions, you felt were over. 

You knew you had to consolidate who you were, who you had been, and where you were now. Make yourself one person, not a section of phases altered by the presence of Time Lords. 

But who were you before you’d met the Doctor and been the Master’s? 

That was the hard part.

Jogging that memory up.

You massaged your temples and went over to chug water directly from the kitchen faucet.

A normal human just couldn’t force people to follow their every whim. Or flit from here or there. 

Well, unless they were a politician or born to extreme wealth. 

You needed to be able to hold down a job, you needed to move on. He wasn’t coming for you. You finally and truly got it through your thick, pathetic human skull…

You wiped the water off your face with your bare hands and ripped off the bar’s uniform. You hunched over in your kitchen and cursed the day you ever met either Time Lord. Cupping your face in your hand you let out another massive groan and shook yourself free.

Those topics were not to be verboten. 

You had a traitorous thought, unless you worked for a government organization or paramilitary that dealt with the extraterrestrial. The job prospects for that seemed slim. You were formally in league with them. People might argue a conflict of interests or claim you were a double or triple agent. There was no true way to prove to a stupid ape that, you, another stupid ape weren’t giving off trade Earth secrets to known enemies of the planet. The list of aliens on watchlists was getting larger in the 21st century by the day. The Master definitely had to be on at least most of them. If not all. Though, the money would be quite good…

It was thought.

You were Earth-bound and just had to reintegrate. There had to be some books you could read. Life, For Dummies? Men are from Gallifrey, Women are from Earth? Something, even an obnoxious celebrity and an ill-trained life coach making a podcast on how to cope with a break up. Something.There 

Easier said than done.

It had to be done, however how hard.

What a pity, what a sham.

To paraphrase a comic, you were young, shiney and dumb. Easy to fool. 

You felt yourself utter, “If I ever see you again, first I’m going to kiss you, then I’m going to kick your ass.”

You pulled yourself back from those unhealthy words and bit your tongue.

This was bound to be hard.

But not impossible...

[knjnvrland]

Prank Wars - ch. 6

> pairing | jungkook x reader

> word count | 4.5k

> genre | college!au, fluff, smut, angst

> warnings | swearing, some really vanilla sexual acts, fingering, unprotected sex.

> synopsis | College can be a stressful time in anyone’s life as it is, why don’t we throw a little prank war in the mix to make it harder?

> fic masterlist

> A/N | English is not my first language, I’m sorry for the eventual spelling mistake, please let me know if you find any!

CHAPTER 6 - No-Bra Girl

Your room was way too bright, did you forgot to close the windows the night before? You woke up annoyed, feeling like you could sleep for 5 more hours at least, but something inside you said you shouldn’t. You extended your arm to your bedside table to try and reach for your phone, but came up empty. Still dazed, you opened your eyes and took a look around: yup, the curtains were left wide open, and by how bright it was, even for a winter day, you could tell the sun has been up for a while. Alice was still asleep on her bed on the other side of the room, you noticed she had the patience of getting into her pijamas, while you only bothered to take off your jeans and bra and fell asleep wearing the same shirt you had on the night before. Oh! The night before! You knew you should’ve said no to the going out after Hoseok’s performance, but how could you say no to Jimin when he was so happy that he didn’t mess up the backup dancing? Hobi too, was so happy to finally deliver what he had been practicing the entire semester, you just had to go. But you surely didn’t need to drink as much as you did.

You got up with a groan and stretched your back, walking over to Alice’s bed to look for her purse. It was on the floor besides her, as always, and you checked it to see if she had your phone. When you realized it wasn’t there you decided to nudge her just to ask, you knew you needed it for something, you just couldn’t remember what now. Alice turned around, not yet awake, and you nudged her again.

“Hey, Al, do you have my phone?” You whispered, when she seemed more awake.

“Huh?” She opened one of her eyes and looked for your face.

“My phone. I can’t find it, do you have it?” Noticing the confused look in your friend’s face you continued “from last night, you must have took it when we got out”

“Have you checked my purse?” She opened her other eye and letted out a yawn.

You signaled ‘yes’ with your head “it's not there either”. Alice frowned and turned to pick up her stuff, looking once again.

“Then I don’t have it, love, you must have forgotten it at the bar, maybe check if one of the boys have it?” She took her own phone from under her pillow and gave it to you, and you dialed the first number you found: Yoongi’s, obviously.

It rang until it reached his voice mail, and the same happened with every single boy you called next. You began trying to call you own number, hoping whoever had it was a nice enough person to give it back, but with no luck still. You kept calling their numbers and after almost half an hour of it, Alice stopped you.

“They're probably passed out, your phone will appear eventually.” She took her own device back from you. “Maybe focus on studying?”

And that’s when it hit you: all your notes were on your phone. You kept them there so it was easier to study on the go, instead of taking notes in your computer like everyone else. And you had a final in two days and already lost half of all the braincells you could spare that morning in search of one of your stupid friends and brothers. And so the panic ensued. You started to hyperventilate immediately and could tell Alice noticed when her eyes grew twice as big as they usually were.

“What happened? What’s wrong?” She took your hands in hers, a method she learned would help someone to focus. It worked on you for a split second, but then you were back to panicking. There was no way you could have all the work done and all the notes taken again in time for the test, you’d fail and have to repeat the entirety of the class and then you’d mess up all your curriculum and have to postpone other classes to still maybe graduate on time and you knew you had to graduate on time otherwise there would be no way you could maintain yourself without your parent’s help and being the youngest you knew they were getting fed up with their children needing stuff all the time and- “Hey, y/n. Breathe.”

You took a deep breath on auto-pilot and finally focused on Alice on her knees in front of you. “All my notes are on my phone, I really need it today.”

“Ok, I’ll drive to Yoongi’s and see if he has it, I have a key to his place, I’m sure we can find it.” She stood up, and you realized she was already showered and dressed, probably doing it all while you called the guys non stop. “I'll come back as soon as possible, I’m taking my phone but keep your computer on so I can message you on facebook if I find out anything” she gave you a peck on the head and left without looking back.

You started to pace around the room, but finally you realized it was to no use and took your books to the living room, sitting on the floor by the coffee table to try and redo all your work, just in case your phone was lost forever.

Jungkook woke up earlier then he wished he did, but he was getting late on school work because of all the practices and end-of-year games he was playing, so he had to make the best out of his weekends. He had a test on Monday and although it wasn’t a final, yet, it still accounted for a good amount of his grade. He also needed to tidy up the place and get his laundry done. There were few things in life that Jungkook took as seriously as his laundry, he just couldn’t stand dirty clothes piling up and his worst nightmare came through when the washing machine in his building broke. Lucky for him, the dorms were closer than the boy’s place and Alice was nice enough to give him clearance to use the machines that were on the basement, and so he had been doing for a while.

He parked his car as close as he could to the entrance and noticed Alice’s wasn’t in it’s usual place. He went straight to the basement, taking his clothes with him in a white laundry sack. Getting there it wasn’t hard to spot the machine assigned to your floor. The building had three rooms per floor and a machine for each of them, with a couple baskets provided and a schedule on the wall. The time assigned for Alice and you was mornings, but you usually washed your clothes late night, after the other room had taken theirs out, so you wouldn’t have to wait there, just having to return the next morning to retrieve your clean itens. Jungkook didn’t knew this when he first started taking his clothes there, just assuming one of you was faster then him in the mornings. 

It was Alice that explained this habit of yours to him, and told him she usually just took your belongings out and left on the basket on top of the machine, so you’d just come and collect it later. He started to do the same and for the first couple of times it was all innocent, but he grew annoyed fairly quick and, just as a small social experiment, started to take an item of your clothing every time he found the washing machine filled with your stuff. It wasn’t supposed to go on for as long as it did, but you never noticed and so he kept going. It has been almost a month now, and he had already filled a drawer at his place with your stuff; mismatched socks, a few shirts, a pair of jeans he knew you liked and even a bra once, granted, but he only took it because the thought of you, at 21, still wearing bras with cute animal printed on them amused him to his core.

He did the same that day, picking up a grey sweater he had seen you wearing a lot lately and putting it inside his bag. He took out his phone to listen to some music while he waited, and realized he had a few missed calls from Alice, and a message on the group chat asking if anyone had seen your phone. He almost forgot about it this morning, but at the last second he remembered to take it with him to drop it off to you. He had done nothing bad to it, just took a couple of selfies so you’d remember who saved your ass when you retrieved it, and just before he could do anything else, another message popped up on the group chat.

Alice (yg gf): srsly guys, where are you?  Alice (yg gf): I’m @ Yoongi’s and he’s not here?? Alice (yg gf): Has anyone seen anyone? Alice (yg gf): Jungkook doesn’t seem to be home either??? Alice (yg gf): unless,,,, is he dead? Did any of you finally ended him? Alice (yg gf): (jk JK, ily) Alice (yg gf): aha jk jk, got it? I’m so funny lol

Jungkook chuckled to himself and began to type, but someone else was faster.

RM hyung: what got into you this morning? Alice (yg gf): Finally! Do you know where’s everybody? RM hyung: Nope RM hyung: Just got home, there’s no one here Alice (yg gf): wtf where’s everyone? Your sister’s freaking out RM hyung: ?? Alice (yg gf): she lost her phone Alice (yg gf): all of her notes were on it RM hyung: let me shower and I’ll send her what I have from last year Alice (yg gf): yeah do that Alice (yg gf): and pls let me know if you find anyone else Alice (yg gf): I’m going to Jin’s to see if there’s anyone there RM hyung: for sure RM hyung: ttyl

Jungkook locked his phone and took yours from his other pocket, climbing the stairs to your floor so he could return it to you. He only ringed the doorbell twice before you opened the door. Your hair was a mess and he could tell you still haven’t showered. You were wearing the same shirt as the night before and a pair of sweater pants, and the look you gave him when you opened the door warned him you were not in a good mood.

“Hey..?” He greeted you, uncertain.

“What do you want?” He widened his eyes at your rude response and you felt a bit bad and took a deep breath “I'm just having a terrible morning"

“Something related to this?” Jungkook lifted your phone so you could see it and you grabbed it immediately. It had run out of battery but it sure was yours. “You’re welcome."

“Oh my god I’ve been looking for this all morning” you stepped back inside, going to your room to retrieve your charger and turn your phone back on as soon as possible. “You have no idea the hell I’ve been in without it”

Jungkook followed you, closing the front door behind him. He took in the mess you made out of the living room. There was a cup of probably cold coffee staining the glass table and your books were open everywhere. Your laptop was also open but on the sofa, and he could see the messenger tab opened in Alice’s contact and way more blue messages then gray ones, so you must’ve been spamming her without a break ever since she left. There was a blanket on the floor, even though the heater was on a very high temperature, and he picked up a pink marker on his way to your room that he believed was in your hand just seconds before.

“Really why can’t you pick up your phone?” You plugged in your phone but it wouldn’t turn on just yet, so you were pacing around, picking up stuff and dropping it again, clearly anxious and trying to occupy your hands with something “I've been freaking out since I woke up, you could’ve at least texted Alice last night to tell her you had it. I have to tell her you’re here, she’s driving around town looking for any of you, really, what happened after we left for you all to disappear? Yoongi hates to sleep over anywhere that’s not his house, oh great, now I’m worried something bad happened to anyone else. But if it was serious we would know, right? I just really have to focus on the test I have monday, I can’t stress with anyone else’s business. That’s why I never had friends, they’re so much work! Now I have to worry about weather Jimin and Hobi and oh God even my brothers, I have no idea where they are either and I can’t even begin to-"

Jungkook couldn’t stand your pacing around anymore, and as much as he tried to grab your attention to explain, you never. stopped. talking. So he did the only thing he could think of that would surely shut you up: he kissed you. And you know what? You kissed him back. But only for a second before you pushed him away.

“What the fuck?” You were trying to catch your breath. If because of all the talking or the kiss not even you were sure, but Jungkook had this smug smile on his face and you just hated it.

“I couldn’t shut you up” He stated, like it was nothing.

“Never do that again! What if anyone find’s out oh no they already think there’s something weird between us now is not the time to-“… and he kissed you again. But now he had his hands on your waist, pulling you closer, and you took a little longer to react.

“Will you stop?” You pushed him away, confused about the whole situation.

“You were going to start spiraling again, I’m just doing preventive control”

“I'm not going to deal with this now” you turned around, searching your phone again, but it was still dead. You pretended to check the cord, that you knew for sure was just fine, but could still feel Jungkook’s eyes on you. “Stop looking at me.”

“I'm not.” Jungkook deviated way too fast, just giving you the confirmation that he really was watching.

“What are you still doing here, anyway?” You turned back at him and he had his hand on his back, scratching mindless, the motion lifted his shirt just enough for you to peek at his v line. He wasn’t looking at you, so he didn’t notice it, but when your eyes finally locked, you could see there was something there that was new.

“I don’t know, really. Waiting to see if I have to shut you up again…?” He gave you a boyish smile, and although you tried to remain annoyed, the corner’s of your mouth gave you away. “You liked it.” His smile grew.

“No I didn’t" you were quick to answer this time, trying to get out of your room and back to your studies, but Jungkook held your waist again, softer this time, and made you look at him.

“I can do it again” it was barely a whisper, but you were close enough that you understood it perfectly. You couldn’t deny that the kiss did indeed shut your mind up for a bit, as well as your mouth, and it would be nice to have the distraction. You stood on the tip of your toes and started getting closer to him. But you also had to study quite a lot that day, and Alice would be back any second now.

Jungkook noticed your uncertainty and, before he himself could think too much about this, he closed the distance between the two of you.

This kiss lasted longer, at first he was shy, but when you reciprocated, the both of you established a rhythm and he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, to which you responded doing the same. He had one of his hands still on your waist and the other at the back of your neck, pulling you closer. You had both of yours on his chest, filling him up a little, you admitted. The first move came from you, lowering your fingers through his torso, stopping just at the hem of his shirt. He broke off the kiss and took a good look at your face. Your pupils had doubled in size and a silent question was asked. The answer was your lips back on his. There was anger in the touch, but also passion. He knew the best sex came from either of those scenarios, and the thought of having a bit of both excited him to no end. You motioned for him to take of his shirt and you separated a little for him to do so, finding each other again immediately after. You closed the door and took a few steps back, until you felt the edge of your bed behind your knees. The both of you found the mattress while breaking the kiss for just enough time so you could appreciate his nice physique. 

He started to lift off your shirt and you raised your arms to allow him. 

“Didn't pick you out as a no-bra girl” he breathed out, trying to mask how turned on he was at the sight of your exposed breasts. You rolled your eyes and pulled him back to you, scratching him on the back of the neck as a warning sign, but it had the opposite effect, as all it took from the boy over you was a moan. “I can play dirty too”.

Jungkook then bit on your lip while moving his hand all the way under you to grab your ass, giving it a harsh squeeze. You jumped a little in surprise, but had no other reaction seeing as not a second later he grinded a bit on you. You opened your legs more as a reflex, letting him get comfortable between them. You started to move your hips a bit, trying to get in sync with him while still keeping the rhythm of the kiss. You could feel how hard he was getting and the sounds he made gave you all the clearance you needed to extend one hand between the two of you and start to draw the outline of his member on his pants. He groaned into the kiss and you could feel yourself getting wet because of the sound and the friction.

You started to kiss his neck and he freed one of his hands only to untie the knot on your sweater pants and make his way in between your legs, starting to move his fingers in circles over your panties. You could feel how hard he was and shoved him from over you so you could both get naked already, before any of you had the chance to second guess what you were doing. You never saw someone take off their pants as fast as Jungkook took his, but you were quick to follow.

Before he could get himself comfortable on top of you again, you signaled for him to lie down on your bed “I like to be on top”, his eyes widened not because he was surprised, honestly, he knew you were a control freak, but the time it took him to get comfortable was enough so he could get a good look at your body and damn, he was turned on. You started to kiss him again and he moved one of his hands to massage your clit in between the two of you.

“Don't you want a little bit more of foreplay?” He broke the kiss again to ask but your only answer was to motion on top of his hard member, silencing him immediately. He helped you get in position and soon enough you could feel him getting inside of you. It took you a moment to adjust to his size. It’s been a while since you last got laid and you admit you started to forget the feeling. “Is this okay?” Jungkook had his hand on your waist, waiting for you to move first, you could tell it was taking a tool on him, but his eyes showed nothing but concern. That is, until you started moving. He closed his eyes and threw his had back as you began to go up and down on him, slowly at first but in a nice rhythm.

He started to help you out a bit, guiding your waist with his hands, and you lowered yourself to kiss his exposed neck a bit more. The position gave you the extra friction you needed and you started to move faster. You bit his collar bones as he moaned, and you could feel his chest getting sweaty, but it didn’t bother you at all. He started to trust harder into you and you could feel yourself getting close to your climax, he grabbed the back of your neck pulling you closer so he could kiss you some more, and you could tell he was not far either, as his movements were starting to get sloppy. 

You were really almost there when a sound deviated your attention. On your bedside table your phone had just turned on, and an avalanche of notifications came through all at once. It served as a wake up call and before you could do anything else, you felt Jungkook coming undone under you. You lifted yourself from him and he tried to hug you to keep you close, but you were already getting up from the bed and looking for your clothes. You couldn’t see the expression on the boy’s face as you got dressed again, but confusion was a given. There were few moments in his life where Jungkook was left speechless, specially after having sex with a good looking girl, but you really threw him off. He didn’t know how to react at the sudden change of mood, and could just lay there, watching you get as far from him as possible. Was he that bad at sex? He was sure he wasn’t. Granted, this time wasn’t his best, but he could tell you were enjoying just a moment ago.

You walked to your phone to check what was on it once you were fully dressed again, and with you peripheral vision you could see Jungkook getting up to put on his clothes too. Aside from a few social media notifications, and a few messages from your classmates either asking you for your notes or sending you theirs, it wasn’t much. That is, until you saw a few texts from Alice.

Alice <3: ok asshole I know you have y/n’s phone Alice <3: i’m going home now to tell her Alice <3: and as much as it annoys me Alice <3: i don’t want you dead Alice <3: and you will be as soon as I tell her you have it Alice <3: so you should probably show up Alice <3: like really fast

“You have to go” you didn’t even look at Jungkook and you had no time to worry about hurting his feelings right now “Alice is coming”

“Oh shit, okay.” He only had his shirt left to put back and as he was doing it you got a final glance of his abs. Damn it y/n now was really not the time. “We should talk about this though” Did he catch you staring? From the smirk on his face, probably. But again: now was not the time.

“I was stressed, you were there, no big deal, we talked, now please go” you said while walking to your front door, with Jungkook trailing behind.

“No, I mean it” he was annoyed “I don’t want to make things weird” you took a deep breath with your back turned to him. You didn’t want things to get weird either, and you knew it was best if the two of you took a minute to talk about it, but the thought of Alice getting home and sensing something had happened was mortifying and you didn’t want to risk it.

“It's not weird” you turned to him then, but you didn’t sound convincing at all “really, we’re good, nothing changed, I still find you an asshole, but we’re friends, let’s stay friends, alright?” His lips were pressed together in a thin line and you could not guess what he was thinking at all, but he nodded his head and grabbed his bag he had left by your entrance door. You felt bad all over again so, just as he was leaving you grabbed the hem of his shirt and made him look back at you “we're okay, right?”

He took a second to answer “yeah, we’re okay.” He didn’t change his expression, but you could tell he was genuine, so you let go of him and he left. You closed the door, but only felt relieved once you heard the heavy door of the stairs closing behind him.

You probably stayed a second too long leaning on your door, collecting your thoughts, but your phone started ringing and you noticed it was Namjoon, probably receiving all your facebook messages at once and wondering if you were alive. You would worry about Jungkook some other time, you had a final to ace.

…But you should probably take a shower first and relieve the rest of your stress.

Jungkook got back to the laundry room to get his things, but he didn’t even remember getting there. He was the type of person that liked cuddling after sex, even if it was just a one night stand. He really wasn't used to being thrown out as fast as you did him, and he couldn’t tell if you were really okay or if you hated him. For fuck’s sake, you were his friend's sister, what kind of mess was he getting himself into? By the time he reached the machine, he had already convinced himself that your reaction, although annoying, rude and a little bit hurtful to his ego, was probably for the best. He was removing his clothes from the washing machine when he noticed yours, still on the basket he had put them in. It would probably be there for a while and you would probably forget about it until Alice finds it and brings it up to you. 

Without a second thought, he grabbed the basket and dumped all that was on it onto his bag with his stuff. He closed it with a bit of difficulty and got the hell out of there. Jungkook was no thief, he always intended to give you your clothes back, and that hasn’t changed. He was just thinking of a more creative way to do so, now.

>A/N | I have a really hard time writing fast/small smut scenes, sorry, it will get better in the future, promise. Let me know what you think, though! Also, if your name didn't show up in the taglist please message me, I'm afraid I might get lost in the notifications and forget to add someone. Have a nice day, wherever and whoever you are :)

TAGLIST |  @w1tchcraftt​ @girlwiththeglittereyeliner​ @teresaisla​ @nctssidehoe​  @kawaiimusiccollection​ @nininek12​ @livewittykid​ @namjoonsslutakakoreanmanswhore​ @planhtarxhs​ 

TAGLIST IS OPEN!

[zamoimagines]

requested by: no one i’m just a dumb bitch and wanted to write this lol enjoy, this is the first thing I’ve written in a while so forgive me if it’s rusty, also song used in this oneshot is Bad Luck by Neko Case

Word Count: 1,819

Ally left early this morning to take Oz to school and to go work on her current campaign. You’d been dating the senator for nearly a year now. You never thought you’d fall in love so fast, but both of you were closer than ever. You knew almost everything about her. She knew most things about you too, but there were some secrets that you weren’t sure about sharing with her yet. Like the fact that you were a witch. 

You’d studied at the academy before you moved to Ally’s town. After graduating, the council sent you out to this part of the country to keep an eye on things. Sort of like an undercover spy. Your job was to warn them of any supernatural problems, and so far, this town was clean. It got boring lurking around by yourself. It didn’t help that you weren’t allowed to use any magic around others. That was when Ally came along. 

Life had become a little less dull since you met her. You vowed to never tell Ally about your secret, for you knew that she was already skeptical about the witch community.

On days like this where no one was home, you happily used your powers. As you made your way down to the kitchen, you flicked your hand in the direction of the speaker that was on the counter. In an instant, it began to play an upbeat Neko Case song. You grinned to yourself. You snapped your fingers at the coffee pot. Coffee began to brew as you waved a cup to sit underneath the nozzle. Humming along to the song, you closed your eyes gently and exhaled. A flame appeared upon the gas stove in front of you. Laughing a little, you turned around to get eggs from the fridge. Still got it, you thought. 

“Woke a dog from a running dream, and that’s bad luck,

Ate a black fly in the cream, and that’s bad luck...” you sang aloud. 

Taking out the carton, you opened it gently. Two eggs hovered over to the pan on the stove and cracked by themselves. With a look, the shells were thrown into the trash can. 

The eggs began to cook as you closed the fridge. You took your coffee cup into your hands and poured cream and sugar inside. You continued to sing as circled your finger above your cup to stir everything together. 

“So I died and went to work,

It’s not as bad as I thought it would be, 

But it’s still pretty bad luck-”

All of a sudden, you heard a loud thud. You glanced up. In the entryway of the kitchen was Ally. She’d dropped a grocery sack on the floor. Her eyes were wide, her mouth dropped open. You frantically scurried to turn off the radio and tried to find a spatula. 

“Oh, uh, hi honey! I thought you were out for the day.” you laughed nervously. 

“Well, I was going to, but my meeting got canceled,” she replied. “What... What in the hell just happened in my kitchen?”

You paused for a moment. You weren’t entirely sure how much she’d seen, so you tried to play it off as if you were completely unaware of what was going on. 

“What do you mean, baby?”

“I mean you- the stereo turned on by itself! Which, okay, maybe that’s Bluetooth or something, but no... You came in here to start waving your hands and the coffee started on its own, eggs started flying through the air- hell, you started a fire by just looking at the stove!” she exclaimed. Ally took a step toward you, looking a little horrified.

“What was all that? Are you trying to prank me or something, because that shit isn’t funny.”

“Ally, no, that’s not what I was trying to do-”

“I’m going crazy! Again! I thought I was over this.”

“Ally, please, just listen to me!”

“I can’t have this happen, not now-”

“Ally!” you shouted over her. “I’m a witch!”

There was a slight pause from her. 

“You’re joking, right?” she scoffed. 

You rolled your eyes before replying, “Of course not. Why would I lie about something like that?”

She took a seat at the dining table and held her head in her hands. “You know all that stuff is bullshit. What’s that bitch’s name... Cornelia? Caroline? Whoever runs that stupid academy in Lousiana. It’s not real, Y/N, none of that shit is real.”

“Her name is Cordelia Goode and I don’t think you should speak so ill of the Supreme of my coven,” you growled. Ally went silent, a little dumbfounded. 

“You’re crazy, you know that?” 

“Ally, I went to the Robichaux Academy. I was taught under Cordelia, hell, I graduated last year!”

Your girlfriend stared back at you blankly. “So, you were taught by a cult and think you have magic powers or something?” She shook her head. “Y/N, we need to get you into a therapist or something.” 

“I’m not lying to you!”

“Then show me proof!” she yelled. As if catching you cooking breakfast wasn’t enough proof for her. 

“Fine, give me your hand.”

“What?”

“I said, give me your hand.”

Reluctantly, she held one of her hands open to you. She didn’t dare to blink in case if she missed something. Perhaps you were just trying to mess with her mind, and she had to make sure that you weren’t feeding her horse shit. 

You didn’t touch her hand, but instead, stepped back. Waving your hand once again, Ally’s favorite coffee cup began to levitate above the counter. Her eyes widened in disbelief. You flicked your finger and the cup slowly floated over to the coffee maker. Dark liquid began to fill the mug then made its way over to where Ally was sitting. You folded your arms in front of your chest.

“Cream and sugar?”

All the politician could do was stare down at her drink. 

“Uh... No thank you,” she muttered. You leaned on the edge of the counter. 

“Well? Is that enough proof for you?” 

“I... I...” Ally couldn’t find words whatsoever. “I’m dating an actual witch?”

You nodded, a little annoyed. She remained silent as she gazed at you in awe.

“I’m dating a witch!” she exclaimed. You couldn’t tell if the look on her face was from excitement, from horror, or maybe a bit of both. Ever since the start of your relationship with Ally, you’d done your best to hide your magic because you weren’t sure how she would react. You had a terrible feeling that this was the end of the road for you two. 

“I mean... Yeah.” You replied. You weren’t entirely sure of what else to say.

Ally couldn’t even drink her coffee. She just stared into space in utter disbelief. Both of her hands covered her mouth as she didn’t dare to look at you. Your heart sank. 

“Look... I’ll get my things packed up. I’ll be gone by the end of this afternoon. I-” you had to pause as tears welled up in your eyes, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I didn’t want to scare you, because I love you and Oz so much and... Oh, I don’t know. I’m sorry Ally.” Teardrops hit the tile of the kitchen floor. You wiped your eyes with your fingers and bit your lower lip. As you walked past where Ally was sitting, you tried hard to keep more tears from escaping while you attempted to make a swift exit. Perhaps Cordelia would let you stay back at the academy for a while. Or maybe you could move to a new town. You weren’t entirely sure what you were going to do, but you knew that you weren’t welcomed here anymore.

“Wait, Y/N,” Ally called out. 

You glanced up in her direction. 

“You understand that this a lot for me to take in right now, right?” 

You managed to nod at her. 

“But do you also understand that... the fact that you’re actually a witch? Y-You know that is absolutely badass!” 

You stood there a little dumbfounded. 

“You mean.. You mean you don’t have a problem with it?”

“No! Why would I?” Ally laughed before standing up from her chair. “I was definitely a skeptic before, but... but this is incredible, babe!”

Her arms wrapped around you as she pulled you close to her body. You felt a little paralyzed. Here you thought that Ally would want nothing to do with you after this. That wasn’t the case at all.

Your frown quickly turned into a flustered grin. “So, you’re not leaving me?”

Ally scoffed. “Are you kidding? When am I ever going to date a real-life witch!”

“I hope that’s not the only reason you’re deciding to stay with me.” you joked.

“No, no, no! But I gotta say... it is a plus.”

You both laughed together as the politician hugged you tight. She pressed a small kiss to your forehead. It felt amazing to be held by her, and you realized that you never wanted to be held by anyone else. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry I freaked out. I’m stubborn, but I don’t care what you are. I’m always going to love you because you’re the woman I fell in love with. I can’t imagine my life without you. Hell, I’d still love you even if you were a zombie!” she explained.

“You’re pushing it.” you giggled. “But I’m glad you feel that way. I love you so much, Ally.” 

“I love you too, my witchy woman,” she replied with a wide smile. You rolled your eyes. You were never going to hear the end of this. The two of you stayed standing for a moment, enjoying the feeling of being embraced by each other. 

“So... Sex is going to be much more interesting, hm?” Ally said. 

“Ally!” you exclaimed as your cheeks turned bright red. 

The brunette shrugged as she chuckled at your reaction. “Just saying. Also, Oz is going to lose his mind when he finds out. He’ll think you’re way cooler than I am.” 

“That’s because I am.”

“I can still kick you out, you know.” 

You playfully hit her arm as you pulled away. Making your way back to the kitchen stove, you put your eggs on a plate and grabbed some silverware. 

“Do you want breakfast?” you asked.

“Only if you make it the way you were doing it.” Ally replied. You smirked to her. You flicked your wrist once again and a new song started up on the radio. As you cooked and used your magic, Ally just watched happily while she sipped on her coffee. This was the life you had been dreaming of; being able to finally be yourself in front of the person you loved the most. You had to admit, it felt better than you could’ve ever imagined. 

REQUEST MORE IMAGINES HERE!

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.29 (The Courtship of Miranda Sanchez)

Now it’s time for Miranda to be crushing on somebody

- Let’s get down to business; Miranda has a crush on someone besides Ethan Craft. His name is Ryan Adams and Miranda really started to notice him after watching him give an apparently amazing monologue during drama class. 

Before watching this episode, I didn’t actually recall this show having a Ryan lol

- Lizzie is ecstatic for Miranda but Gordo, the debbie downer isn’t keen on listening to Miranda swoon over Ryan. He is more interested about a monster truck roundup that’s coming to their town. And before Miranda could continue to talk about her admiration for Ryan, Gordo gets up and leaves the table to find some guys to hang out with.

- That’s what I’ve been saying in so many of my reviews! Gordo needs to find his own group of male friends. I’m getting sick of him complaining about having to listen to Lizzie and Miranda talk about girl topics. Anyways, the opening scene ends with Lizzie telling Miranda that she’s going to try her best to get her and Ryan together. 

Miranda Umms

- It’s breakfast time and both Lizzie and Matt are eating cereal together. Matt starts annoying Lizzie by purposely staring at her and making a sort of ‘choking on his food’ noise whenever she tries to eat her food. Ugh, why must he already annoy me so early on in the episode?

- In school, Miranda is preparing herself to go up to Ryan to talk to him and Lizzie’s helping her out. Miranda looks really cute with that colourful hat of hers (I so want one btw). Also, we get this iconic moment:

I would like to think that Hilary did her own stunts because it really looks like she got hit by that locker door. 

- Ryan arrives ‘conveniently’ after that mishap and Miranda starts stumbling on her words because she’s so nervous. She sounds just like how Lizzie would act around Ethan. 

There’s a lot of teeth showing in this picture

- Luckily for Miranda, Lizzie got up in time to save her friend from further embarrassment and told Ryan everything that Miranda wanted to say to him about his performance in drama class. That was such an awkward moment and I’m sure Ryan felt extremely awkward as well. So he left lol. 

- Miranda couldn’t believe what just happened because she’s usually cool, calm and collected around other people. However, she offended Lizzie by telling Lizzie she doesn’t get nervous unlike her. Ouch, Miranda. I hope you realise what you’re saying there. 

Gordo, I Thought You Were Going To Find Guys Your Age To Buddy Up With?

- Gordo finds Matt in the Mcguires’ backyard doing something strange as usual and they start talking about Matt’s friends not being able to hang out with him today as well as Gordo not liking to be around Lizzie and Miranda whenever they talk about boys. 

- They suddenly make the connection that they’re both interested in the monster truck roundup thingy, which tells us that they’re into the same kind of thing. They then agree to hang out. So, Gordo prefers to befriend Lizzie’s pesky younger brother Matt instead of the other boys in middle school. 

- Wouldn’t it be better if he finds guy friends who goes to the same school as him? That way, if he feels sick of Lizzie and Miranda, he can just hang out with his guy friends at another table. Problem solved.

But I guess it’s cute how Matt see Gordo as an older brother he never had

How To Talk To Ryan 101

- In Lizzie’s room, Lizzie is coaching Miranda on how to have a nice conversion with Ryan without getting nervous. To be more specific, she’s role-playing as Ryan and asking Miranda questions as him. 

And judging from Miranda’s expression, she isn’t so believable as him 

- Lizzie comes up with another strategy to talk to Ryan and that is to write down a script of everything Miranda should say to him. Miranda tells Lizzie that she’s bad at memorising but Lizzie’s says she’ll make it short. Lizzie is such a good friend for doing all of this to help her friend. 

- The next day in school, Gordo asks Lizzie about Miranda and this surprises Lizzie because she thought he wasn’t interested in their girl talk. Lizzie also passes him a message from Matt about the monster truck rally being postponed. Lizzie doesn’t like the idea that he and Matt are starting to hang out with each other. In fact, she finds it creepy. You and me both Lizzie. 

- Miranda comes back from speaking to Ryan and it was a success! She and Ryan are going to have lunch together the next day and Ryan even told her she has nice eyes. Gordo hears Lizzie saying that she’s glad she wrote down what Miranda should say and he just couldn’t believe it. 

Gordo saying “You wrote down what she should say?” for the third time really triggered Lizzie and Miranda; Especially Miranda.

- Anyways, Miranda now wants Lizzie to actually be close to Miranda during her date so that she can tell her what to say to him. This sounds like a bad idea but since Lizzie doesn’t want to let her friend down, she agrees to her plan. Things are about to go south, I can feel it. 

Lizzie The Ultimate Wing-woman

- We see Gordo and Matt playing basketball with a hacky sack (aka hacky basket?) in the backyard. And we then cut to a montage showing the two of them having fun doing random things together like riding scooters, playing with hula hoops and playing football. 

I wonder whose house was it that Gordo broke their window?

- Miranda’s lunch date with Ryan is about to commence and poor Lizzie is hiding in a trash so that she can help guide her best friend in secrecy. The fact that Lizzie volunteered to hide in a trash can shows me this girl down to do anything to help her friends out. I wouldn’t be caught doing such a thing, but that’s why I love Lizzie lol

Why on Earth does Miranda needs to be coached to the point where it seems like her brain has lost all its functioning?

- She’s literally repeating everything Lizzie’s saying verbatim; She even said “Ouch!” when Lizzie gets stung by a bee/wasp and she even made the same sounds as Lizzie when she was going to sneeze. I’ll admit, that was hilarious!

Unfortunately, Lizzie’s sneeze caused her to tumble over in the trash can, revealing herself to Ryan in the process

- Ryan is freaked out from what he just witnessed and he ditches Miranda (as he should). Miranda also starts freaking out and begins to question herself. In turn, she also ditches poor Lizzie, who is still stuck in a trash can! Miranda!!!! Is she this oblivious? 

Betrayal

- Lizzie asks Gordo if he has spoken to Miranda since she thinks that Miranda is now mad at her. Gordo, who seems to dislike talking about this whole Miranda and Ryan situation (but I think he secretly does) suggests to Lizzie to talk to Ryan instead. 

- I really don’t understand why Gordo says he doesn’t like talking about these kind of things when he clearly is able to give good advice. Relationship discussions aren’t girly; I really don’t like that stereotype. I mean, I do think that boys talk about relationships, maybe not as much but they still talk about it with one another.

- Matt comes into the living room and persuades Gordo who was about to head home to look at pictures of a cheese house on his computer. Gordo takes a huge interest to this and agrees to hang out with Matt a little longer. 

- The next day at school, Lizzie approaches Ryan to explain to him what happened the other day. However, plot twist! Ryan thinks that the reason Lizzie was spying on their date is because Lizzie likes him. Well that is so not the case!

He even had his arm around her. Too bad Miranda just so happened to be there the moment he quickly asks her out to the Digital Bean after school. This causes Miranda to think that he actually asked Lizzie out on a date. 

- Miranda is now mad at Lizzie for thinking that she had betrayed her. Miranda needs to learn how to stop accusing other people without knowing the facts. Because this isn’t the first time it happened. Remember the ‘I Do, I Don’t’ episode when Miranda accuses Lizzie of being jealous of her being paired with Ethan for their social studies class presentation. 

- Meanwhile, Gordo is starting to miss hanging out with Lizzie and Miranda after playing hacky basket with Matt for 5 hours. Really!? Five whole hours just playing that? I salute them lol. Anyways, he tells Matt that he needs to hang out with his own friends again and surprisingly, Matt takes this very well. I mean, Gordo pretty much straight up told him he just wants to hang out with Matt only on occasion from now on. I would’ve been offended. 

Ryan’s Not So Nice

- Lizzie brings along Miranda to the Digital Bean to help clarify what just happened between her and Ryan. Miranda doesn’t seem up for it and tries to leave once she spots Ryan. But Ryan makes an offensive remark by saying that Miranda doesn’t have to do the talking for Lizzie since he STILL thinks Lizzie likes him and she’s just shy to approach him herself. And I thought Miranda was bad at reading cues; This guy takes the cake. 

Miranda finally sees the truth

- Miranda realises that the Ryan she saw in drama class was just a facade because the real Ryan is a straight up jerk who thinks that every girl in the grade has a crush on him and that he is the greatest actor in the world. 

I would have poured his drink on his head if I were them

- Lizzie and Miranda make amends and they agree to never let a guy come between their friendship. Yea, I’m sure that wouldn’t last lol

The episode ends with the Lizzie, Miranda and Gordo laying on the lawn watching the stars. Gordo is glad to be hanging out with his best friends again. Me too! So he’d better not complain he has no guy friends to hang out with.

Overall Thoughts

- I’ll start with the positives. I appreciate the writers putting a spotlight on Miranda’s so-called ‘love life’ and providing her with her own crush in this episode. Although it only lasted for one episode, it was interesting to see how she navigates herself through approaching boys and going on dates. And we find out that she’s a complete mess when it comes to talking to boys she has crushes on. 

-  Another positive I took away from this episode is giving Matt an older male figure to look up to besides his father and that is Gordo. Their dynamic is really laid back and chill. And I notice here more than in previous episodes that they have a lot of similarities and shared interests. But what I don’t appreciate is how Gordo suddenly makes a decision to stop hanging out with Matt almost completely. He doesn’t even want to hang out with him on the weekends. That was pretty random. There’s this thing called balance; I thought he liked Matt?

- I also don’t like how Miranda made the same mistake as she did before by accusing Lizzie of something she didn’t do at all. Miranda is always coming to conclusions based on how she feels when the moment first occurs without processing all the details. It’s kinda annoying and it just creates unnecessary drama. 

[ultraclops]

Semi-live Blogging: Return of the Mao Mao Episodes

Before we start, is it just me or is the animation like 10x smoother than it usually is? Also like I said with Nakey, there’s a lot more good expressions too!

Lucky Ducky Mug

Adorabat drinks from sippy cup like baby

"What, Mao Mao's ridiculous mug?" says Badgerclops, holding a cheap plastic big gulp cup he probably got from the grocery store.

How did Adorabat not notice the Lucky Ducky sticker on the Aerocycle

"Don't touch it" (Badgerclops proceeds to slam the table to move it) Ah Badgerclops, ever the contrarian

I'M SORRY DID MAO MAO BLOW THE ROOF OFF OF HQ BY SCREAMING

I love the way Mao says "PROFESSIONAAAL SILENCEEE"

Badgerclops trying to make his mouth disappear and failing made me scream with laughter

Are they seriously reducing Ratarang to 'the funny lil Italian guy'? C’mon guys you’re better than this

Wait why do they think Kevin is Adorabat?? They've seen Adorabat multiple times?? "But they're both blue!" You FOOL Kevin is TEAL there's a difference

Everybody gangsta til Mao Mao's ears start speaking morse code

They're doing surprisingly good silent but it's probably not gonna be that way very long.

Thank you, Lucky Ducky Mug, for catering to my niche interest in characters with neon outlines on black backgrounds.

Mao Mao thinking: Normal thoughts

Badgerclops thinking: Musical-esque singing

Adorabat thinking: Literally just heavy metal

The Sweetypies seriously think they're just playing a really intense game of charades huh,,,

(Mao jabs BC in the stomach with the fire net) HAHA GET REKT

The scene with Badgerclops trying to give Mao Mao Penny's mug is the funniest shit in the world I couldn't stop laughing...or maybe I'm just sleep-deprived

So the Sky Pirates are so similar compared to the Sheriff's Dept. that they can think perfectly in sync? That's cool

SKY PIRATES SONG SKY PIRATES SONG

Why is Snugglemagne throwing a random tea party & why did he only invite the Sheriff's Dept.

Yep there goes the plan. Both of their plans.

Am I going crazy or did the skin on Mao Mao's mouth tear apart like it was sewn shut?! Also yay they're talking again

"It's not gonna stop charging, so I'm just gonna let it explooode..." Mood

"What about the mega laser tube made by mega Losers?" Fsfhkfh

Hey, everyone learned something new from this experience! Are the Sky Pirates gonna try that Hive Mind tactic from now on?

Awww, they fixed his mug with gold - GOD DAMN IT I KNEW THERE WAS A CATCH!!

Lonely Kid

(Sighs) ...I said (SIGHS)

"I literally can't relate to that problem at all." says Badgerclops, who joined a gang because he wanted people to like him.

Shin just dropped off Mao Mao at a summer camp and expected him to make friends? Why does this feel like the plot of Camp Camp

I'm sorry the Mao clan has a freaking PARTY AERO-BUS??

NOO GERALDINE

That BGM is DEFINITELY an extended version of "I Love You, Mao Mao" and I want the lyrics NOW

So Bao was literally just a stray that Mao took home?? Would make sense as to why he wasn't trained

I have a feeling the Flimborg is some sort of sacred being the townspeople worship for some reason

How in the hell did Mao tie that guy up and why didn't he bother to untie him

HOW'D HE SET THE ROCKS ON FIRE USING PAINT

"And then you become frien-" "BEES. IN THE EYES."

"Everyone knows bees are our friends!" "Uh, actually, they were wasps." "Friends to no-one!" Usually I'd agree with BC, but I read an article about someone befriending a wasp and her babies so.

So the Mao clan's just known as the "Golden Cat Family Up The Hill?" Huh. I thought they’d have more recognition, especially since Shin says he went to that same summer camp at the beginning.

Man those kids are jackasses

"Say hi to your mommy!" "I would if she was here..." Excuse me wHAT

Noo don't cry baby boi - tHEN BAO JUST TACKLES HIM ASFHDKDL

"Go away! I don't feel like laughing right now!"

Look. You can see the EXACT point Mao developed his adult personality

I know Mao Mao means well but that is gonna go terribly wrong.

"I AM A HERO! I WILL BE LOVED!!" Okay first of all OUCH, second of all THAT IS PAIN

This monster empty, YEET

Awww it was just a sweet little puppy-ish monster...and it was his BIRTHDAY

"Hi, Aunt Gloria!" (Pulls out pitchfork) BETRAYAL

He didn't feel bad about ruining the festival because he made a friend doing it I 💞💞💝💝💗💗

Thanks for that 'different times' comment cuz I don't want kids thinking being beat is normal.

"Just like you found me...and I'm your best friend!" Tbh I thought she was gonna say 'Me and Badgerclops' & that would make a lot more sense

Why are they fighting over who's his best friend they're obviously BOTH his best friends

I'm sorry did Badgerclops just call Adorabat a "little mutant"?? ARE THE SWEETYPIES MUTANTS??

Awww his friends love him sm...and he feels so loved too...💓💓💗💗💕💕

Try Hard

No one gives a shit about Pinky being kidnapped lol

"K for Copyright Infringement"

"You'll never be like me!" Oof a little harsh maybe?

"You've gotta learn to be your own kind of hero, in your own special way!" So THAT'S where it's from

"You just gotta...try hard." Hey, title drop!

Ngl the moment Mao Mao said "Badgerclops take the shot" I immediately thought of The Confession 3 by TomSka

"Up in a tree, little old me, about to do something...UGLY..." 7-year-old me sniping people on Halo 3 like

Why is he shooting them with gelatin tho? ...oh. Oh THAT'S why.

Tbh if I didn't have subtitles on I would've thought BC was saying "beep boop"

This badger and cat empty, YEET

Adorabat walking into the Skyship with only a walkie-talkie is giving me some sort of vibes...OH, Silent Hill! Or Tattletail

WHOOP HIS ASS SWEETIE

"Mao Mao would hide the body!" Very unsubtle there, wonder how it got past censors

"Ratarang, say something!" "Pasketti?" "THAT'S THE BRAT!"

Wait a sec, they can just use Badgerclops' arm to power the ship? Why didn't they try that in CapturedClops?

"Good thing my head is in here cuz I'm a-scared of heights!" Ramaraffe. Whose whole schtick is making herself taller. Is acrophobic?

"Because she's Sheriff's Department, that's how! >:3" "Also y'all tend to be pretty incompetent >X/"

Why does she keep trying to use the elevator when she can fly? Nvm she climbed up Badgerclops' arm

"Ooooh I'm also hereeee"

"JERK BUTT"

Why is the Omega Field just a bunch of broken glass? And why doesn't she just step around it?

"I can fly!" "She can fly!" "SHE FORGOT?!" Ooh that's why

"You're the best thing to ever happen to a bat like me." 💝💝💕💕💓💓

Wait she's talking through the walkie-talkie and her molts are there but she isn't there where is she?

Oh she was freeing the other two from the gelatin. No wonder Mao Mao almost threw up, it was bug flavored.

GET HIS ASS, HONEY!! ADORASLAP!!

I hope that 'Nah' means Adorabat's realized she needs to be herself instead of her just rejecting her individuality like I think it is.

Scared Of Puppets

Oh, so this takes place after Sleeper Sofa! Praying it's a fix-it episode...

"DISCARD ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T BRING YOU JOY!!" Fuckin Marie Kondo up in here

Oh no PTSD flashbacks. He's scared of them cuz one's head landed on his lap as a kid? Understandable have a nice day.

Who tf collapsed into a sobbing heap on the floor then leaps back up and insists they're fine? Mao Mao, apparently.

Hairless ape? Is that what they call humans or are they something different in general?

"TAKE ALL MY MONEY!!" What did BC want an antique puppet for if he had no idea Mao was scared of them...

Mr. Din Dandalib!

"I...(eye twitch) love him too..."

IM SORRY DID HE FUCKING THROW UP OUT OF FEAR...holy SHIT

If I scared my friend and they threw up I would simply never do that again. RIP to Badgerclops but I'm different

(Badgerclops makes concrete blocks around the pothole) "Why didn't you just fill in the pothole??" "I AM TRYING MY BEST!!"

"I SIGNED YOUR DUMB CAST, NOW LEAVE!!"

...Illegal house plants? ...like marijua-

That was literally just that one video where a guy knocked out another guy in a mask jumping out of a trash can...

So it's a CPR class...AND a hair-styling class? How

I stg the moment Badgerclops walked in the door I knew he was carrying Mr. Din Danalin I SWEAR

"You're 10." "BUT I'M 6??" JFC Shin doesn't know his own son's age AND is partially responsible for his pupaphobia. And I called it on Mao Mao being six in the flashbacks

OH WIG

Can someone take the footage of the Annex exploding and add the ReviewTechUSA intro over it please

"How many Adult Learning Annexes have to be destroyed before you admit you're scared of puppets?!" is extremely funny without context

(Mao punches the wall cuz hes mad at himself for being scared) Kinkinkinkinki

How does one forget to drink milk

Oh shit the scene from the promo...

Yay he's starting to feel less scared - wait NVM it JUST STARTED TALKING??

OG SGUTVKC FGCJ OG SHKR OF DJCN JKKKKK

Oh it was just a dream - er, nightmare. FIRST NIGHTMARE SEQUENCE OF THE SERIES!

"I just gotta get my socks on...wait, I wear socks, right?" Dud e you wear NOTHING BUT A BELT...

"I KNEW SELLING THOSE HAIRLESS APE DOLLS WOULD ATTRACT DARK FORCES"

"There’s a lot of pu-" "PUBLIC DANGER"

Those puppets are alive I stg

"I'M A BIG BOI..."

Awwww she said what he told her at the beginning of the episode!

"I'M AFRAID OF PUPPETS" TITLE DROP YET AGAIN

Adorabat takes after Badgerclops sometimes I swear

Oooh shit sequel hook - oh NVM it was Badgerclops voice acting - NVM Mao Mao passed out. Dang

The Perfect Couple

Watermelon time babyyy

TRANSFORMATION TIME BABYYYY

Ah so he wanted to perfectly cut a watermelon in half, that's why he got so many?

"I need (counts on fingers) 600 more watermelons!" glad to see I'm not the only one who counts on my fingers

Why would Penny and Benny need 600 watermelons for their wedding? Also I called it on Penny & Benny being the couple

Mao Mao has to officiate the wedding? I thought priests did that

Please don’t throw up again Mao Mao

"I WILL BUY YOU A BAG TO HOLD YOUR STUFF..."

"A nondescript sack!!" Dude he just taking out the trash...

Nvm its just laundry

"I WILL TURN THIS BUSH AROUND"

Oh so THAT'S what Ramaraffe thought Kevin was Adorabat

"Why don't you buy me cake and do my laundry?" Are you implying you wanna marry Mao Mao, Badgerclops 👀

I lov Mao Mao's faces in this scene he legit looks like a bishouen anime protagonist

Nvm no transformation it's just his wedding outfit

Why did they invite Orangusnake and Boss Hosstritch to the wedding tho? What about when they hid in their moving truck and used their electricity - wait Badgerclops technically did that last one, nvm

Wait THEY DIDN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER BEFORE THE WEDDING?? What a perfect couple huh

Is Mao Mao having hallucinations just gonna be a regular thing now....

IS PENNY SERIOUSLY GONNA MARRY ORANGUSNAKE OUT OF SPITE ASFSDGFUK

Why did Mao Mao say "melons" in a Spanish accent I'm scared

"They're both terrible, so what does it matter if they get hitched or not?" They're definitely gonna change their minds now

"She lied because she wanted to protect his feelings! And he lied because he couldn't bear to hurt her!" Isn't that just the plot of The Truth Stinks?

OH SHIT HE CUT ORANGUSNAKE IN HALF HOLY FUCK

He made Orangusnake officiate the wedding as punishment lol

Why are they,,,stepping on the watermelons?? Damn right Badgerclops I'd cry over that too

"What's, uh, your credit score like?" "850. Why, is that good?" "It's perfect..." HE WANTS TO MARRY MAO MAO NOW ASDFHKL

[shipaholic]

Omens Universe, Chapter 1 Part 5

Yep, this nonsense is still happening!

When we last saw our intrepid (lol) heroes, Aziraphale had a cracked gem, Crawly had a prisoner, and both of them were careening towards the offices of Heaven and Hell on a cart pulled by an angry donkey.

Link to next part at the end.

---

(last part)

(chrono)

Chapter 1, cont.

The offices of Heaven and Hell look the same no matter what time or continent you approach them: a twenty-first century skyscraper.

In 3404 BC, on the African savanna, a donkey and cart careened up to it, spraying sand everywhere.

The driver’s eyes glazed as everything told her the skyscraper was normal and definitely supposed to be there. The donkey, bristling with fear and rage, jerked to a halt and nearly catapulted its passengers overboard.

“All right, I can take the hint,” Crawly muttered. He tried to clamber out, but the weighted shackle he was wearing pinned his ankle to the floor.

Aziraphale pulled himself together as best he could. All his appendages, in some approximate order, made their way over the side of the cart. The driver’s eyes unfocused further.

“Neht thgir,” he said. He hesitated. He wanted to say thank you. Crawly had been… well. It felt harder than otherwise, saying what he meant, standing in the sight of Heaven.

“Yup.” Crawly stood, still mostly inside the cart. The shadow of head office fell across him and hid his face. “This where I leave you? Can you even walk?”

Aziraphale took a few steps. It sort of worked. He felt more like a contraption perambulating across the sand than a being with [1] muscles and joints. He turned back to Crawly. The demon looked like he wanted to cross himself, or the Satanic equivalent.

“When the humans invent steam power, I think some of the stuff they’ll throw together to really freak each other out will resemble you right now. Don’t suppose you can manifest your wings?”

Aziraphale doubted that would improve anything. His limbs would probably knot together in midair, and then Michael would watch him while he sat and untangled them.

“Yeah, on second thoughts, maybe not,” said Crawly. “Last thing Heaven wants to see flapping towards them is a flying spaghetti monster.” He thumbed back at the Nephilim inside the cart. “I’ll hang back here with Teen Angel until you’re inside.”

So, that was that. He was going to hand her over. Aziraphale sighed. It had been a long shot. Still, he wished he could have made a difference.

He turned away and began the undignified trek to Heaven’s door. The Nephilim was in Crawly’s hands now.

~*~

Crawly shaded his eyes and watched the angel make his way across the sand. Most of his limbs wobbled along behind him, out of step with the appendages he was using to, loosely speaking, walk. [2]

He turned back to the Nephilim. She glowered up at him with a face like thunder, with a few bonus lashings of hail, wind, wet leaves and a displaced signpost chucked in.

“Right,” he said, bracingly. “Let’s get this over with.”

He stooped and reached for her arm. She immediately became a dead weight and slumped backwards on the floor. Again with people acting like a sack of… seriously, he needed to come up with a good simile.

He loomed over her. He was good at looming. It helped to be tall. Maybe that should be the deciding factor between human and snake form.

“I won’t pretend you’ll like where I’m taking you,” he hissed. “But it has one ssserious advantage over the other place: everyone will be happy to see you.”

She glared. Predictably. Surely at some point she’d run out of glare? Wasn’t this spraining her eyeballs?

“I don’t care how hard you make this,” he lied. “When I bring you in, I’ll get a commendation, maybe a big fat promotion, the satisfaction of the look on Hastur’s face and Beelzebub will get off my back for a century at least.”

The girl didn’t move. Crawly counted to ten.

She was half-angel. He should focus on that. Half of her was comprised of imperious, smite-happy dickhead.

He tried. But all he could see when he looked at her was a clueless human who didn’t deserve whatever Hell was cooking up for her.

“Bugger,” he said.

Great. Fantastic. He was really doing this. In a state of disbelief at his own stupidity, Crawly snapped his fingers and the weighted manacles vanished. Another snap and the ropes binding the girl fell away.

She sat up, tense with suspicion. Maybe he should have got out of range of her magic superweapon before doing that. Crawly edged backwards and called for the driver out of the side of his mouth. “Hey, another five to take this one back to her village, all right?”

The driver cheerfully accepted. Crawly backed up until he was out of skewering range. He miracled up the money and handed it over. He could hide it in an expense account later.

The girl peered over the side as the cart circled around. Crawly turned to avoid meeting her eyes. At least Aziraphale wasn’t here to see this. Bloody embarrassing.

“Guess I’m just a village idiot,” he muttered, and stumped away across the burning sand towards the gates of Hell.

---

[1] Or, at least, emulating.

[2] Not both of which were legs.

---

(Chapter 2, Part 1)

[wndmxmffs]

From Insanity to Humanity // Prologue

Summary: HYDRA agent Lyra Lennox has one mission in life, to achieve more, to do bigger and better each time around. This mission is not as noble as it may sound. All Lyra wants, or more so, needs out of life is to leave a legacy, to be written about in history books and taught about in schools. Whether this is as a hero or villain is not something she particularly cares about. Lyra has got blood on her hands, blood of hundreds of people. Who they were? Why they’re gone? Again, not something she cares about. Her priorities lay with herself and herself only- after all she is the reason why the world keeps spinning and why the sun keeps rising. Her twisted view on reality could endanger the whole world’s safety. Life to Lyra is a game of chess and the people she encounters are merely pieces to help her win. Her opponent? Anyone and anything in her way. And all those who think they have control over her? They will learn how wrong they were over time. She plays people. She is cold. She has a mission. The only ones able to stop her from doing something to fatally jeopardize a mission are the ones preserving Earth’s safety, The Avengers. Will they be able to bring out the humanity buried deep inside?

Word Count: 1.6K+

Warning: get ready for a pretty dark fic babies lol. mentions of child abuse, mentions of murder, being captured, mentions of starvation, blood, also some cursing but that really doesn’t matter here lmao

A/N: okay so this is that series i was talking about. i’m soso excited about how it’s going to turn out and i just really hope that you guys will enjoy it. i know that Lyra might not seem the most likable character ever but i have so much planned out for her so stay tuned my loves. big shouout to my girl @microwaveddrabbles for writing the summary, for being an amazing proof-reader and for being here for me throughout the whole process, giving me ideas and encouraging my own ones. i love you so much baby, you deserve the world! happy reading babies! xx

The ice-cold, concrete floor of her cell wasn’t the most comfortable place for a good night’s sleep by any means, but wasn’t the worst either. She had slept on much cooler and much harder surfaces, causing her back to ache and creating overall frustration. That was one of her weaknesses- she could get very angry in a very short time. Every time something didn’t work out as she had planned, she got frustrated, furious even, which she wanted to let out as soon as possible. So, Lyra visited the nearby woods to scream until she found the relief she sought, leaving the bodies of dead birds and deer behind, making everyone who was nearby, deaf.

Her cries could tear the organs of people and animals to pieces, causing immediate death. This, however, wasn’t the deadliest thing about her- she read and analysed people all the time, digging up their most well-kept secrets by making her way into their minds carefully. She pictures their minds as though they were the hallways of a museum where she could roam around freely, with no interruption nor distraction. Most of the time, her victims weren’t aware of her actions, their unknowingness enabling her to do as she pleased. Lyra was well aware of her abilities and was never afraid to use them for her own gain, and her own gain only. Everything she did and everything she had ever done, was for her own satisfaction. She never thought about anyone or anything else. She had been left alone, to be raised by evil itself and Lyra learned the most important lesson at a very young age, ‘never trust anyone but yourself.’ This made her view on the world somewhat deranged, altering reality in all sorts of twisted ways. To Lyra, however, it didn’t matter, because she was successful, her name was known among her people and more importantly- she was feared.

Lyra was woken up by the piercing light coming in from the corridor outside, letting her know that the guard was here with yet another plate of bland food she was not going to eat. This time, it wasn’t just the guard- she had a visitor as well. She slowly pushed herself up in the corner of the miniature cell when she heard light footsteps approaching and the husky voice of a man standing by the closed door. She rubbed her eyes before lifting her head up to look at him and she couldn’t help but chuckle when she recognised Nick Fury himself.

“Aren’t you getting bored of this outfit?”, she whispered in a croaky voice. The result of refusing to talk for a whole week.

Fury slowly tucked his hands in his pockets, looking at the bony girl lying in the dusty cell. She was the complete opposite of what she looked like when they captured her- Lennox had been fiery and fierce back then; kicking, punching and even biting his agents causing them to almost lose her. And now, after what was almost a week, she appeared broken and on the verge of giving up. Fury was certain she would go as far as trying to kill herself had she been given the chance.

He turned his head towards the plates filled with untouched food, completely ignoring Lyra’s snarky comment. He looked at the guard standing on his left and asked him what that was.

“She refuses to eat, Sir. Probably trying to starve herself to death”, the guard replied, while Fury glanced at the girl who had a small smile on her face framed by her messy, dirty, brown hair. He decided to get closer to her and pulled his hands out of his pockets as they were beginning to sweat.

“If you think that we only want to keep you alive so we can torture you, you’re dead wrong. Just go ahead and eat, you already look like a sack of bones, girl”, he stated, earning an unimpressed look from Lyra, who had gotten used to the feeling of hunger since HYDRA had never been famous for its excellent cuisine.

“Your concern truly melts my heart but I’m good, Mr Fury”, the girl answered in a monotonous tone and Fury knew they had broken her. What he did not know was just how great of an actor Lyra Lennox was. It was just another show for her and she was enjoying her role. After all, she’s leading ‘the’ Nick Fury on.

Fury told the guard to get rid of the food and added that he wanted to talk to Miss Lennox alone. The guard gave a quick nod and left, closing the door once again, leaving the two of them alone. Lyra flashed a fake smile at the boss of S.H.I.E.L.D. who didn’t return the gesture. He furrowed his brows instead and looked deep into those piercing green eyes, trying to see through this girl who barely had close to no humanity in her. No one is born like this, Nick was very aware of that fact. He also knew HYDRA’s ways of breaking their agents, turning them into weapons but he had never met someone quite like her.

“How did you get here, girl?”, he asked, folding his arms against his chest, not taking his eyes away from her tired and tortured face. She wanted to stay in control and keep herself collected desperately, but even the toughest ones give up when locked away in a cell with barely any light and no sense of time.

Lyra leaned her head back against the dirty wall, thinking about everything she’d gone through in her still rather short life, which could come to an end any moment now. She was not going to give away everything about herself- she was well aware they could, and probably would, use it against her and she couldn’t put herself at such risk. She had to be in control and being an open book to her enemies wasn’t going to help her achieve that.

After a minute of silence and contemplating, she looked at Nick Fury again and started talking slowly.

“You know, it really does suck when your parents are two crazy Russians who think it’s a good idea to experiment on their infant child in an abandoned lab”, she started, looking deep into Fury’s brown eyes, not breaking the contact for even a second. “That’s how I got my powers. Or so the legend says. As a kid, it was hell learning how to control them instead of letting them take control of me. My father wasn’t that bad of a parent, you know. He spent all his time with me, taking care of me and playing with me. Dealing with my whiny self. People hated them for what they did, but he was innocent. He was brainwashed by HYDRA and they played some mind games on him during the experiments. But my mother. Oh man”, she paused there as she remembered and let out a light chuckle, shaking her head, “she was one fucking crazy bitch. She was even more of a control freak than I am. She was in charge of my training and she was the cruellest teacher you can imagine. Then, one day, she got on my nerves and I made her deaf. The end.”

Fury listened to the story with no expression on his face and he was waiting for the girl to continue, but she clearly wasn’t going to. Lyra looked around in the cell again, then her glance returned to the man and she opened her mouth once again.

“Also, why put me in a cell? You’re aware that I can make your skull explode with my mind, right?”, she questioned, earning a sarcastic smile from Fury.

“I am. But are you aware of that little device in your neck? Stops you from doing anything stupid or something you’d regret.”

“I have no regrets and you’re a fool if you think I regret anything”, she replied, spitting the words out through her teeth, growing tired of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s shitshow. For the first time this week, she felt the irresistible urge to use her powers. It had been lurking in the back of her mind all this time, but she had ignored it. She thought that if she would behave well, they would let her go sooner. That’s clearly not what happened, and the realisation hit her hard. Lyra was a caged animal at the mercy of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the idea of that had started to make her go crazy just again.

Her pupils widened as she looked around the cell over and over again, feeling like the walls were getting closer and closer to her, feeling like she would die while being captured by a fool with an eyepatch. Lyra couldn’t let that happen- she always had to be in control, otherwise all hell would break loose and she would die like all those other people with their names completely forgotten. She turned her head towards Nick and slowly pushed herself up to stand on her two feet covered in bruises and scars. Lyra was dizzy and hungry but she didn’t care about all the physical pain, she wanted to break free and she would do anything for that. She wanted to gain control all the while losing control over herself.

“How do I know it’s not some kind of trick?”, she whispered, very much reminding Fury of a snake. He kept himself collected and cool; he’d seen much worse stuff and a crazy witch in a cell was nothing new. He never would have thought that Lyra would be able to go ahead and tear the little device out of her neck with one simple movement of her hand. Fury’s eyes widened when he saw the blood, dripping down the girl’s neck slowly and the bloody chip in hand. She didn’t cry. Lyra simply stared at her in blood covered hands and gave Nick an empty look before she collapsed into his arms, whispering something in Russian that the man couldn’t understand.

Please, leave some feedback and let me know if you want to be on the taglist for the series! 

[pangtasias-atelier]

The Goddess's Judgement Part 1

Randomly remembered this idea that I wrote of around 5 years ago before deleting it off the face of the internet so I wanted to at least write something about it. Beginning feels like a crack fic but attempted seriously lol. But I mean, this would never happen considering the characters but it's for the idea even if it's just a simple, "everyone's fat" idea. I just always feel that there has to be at least a somewhat plausible reason, even if that reason is silly or would never happen.

________________

"I shall pass down my judgement to save them from themselves," eyes baring no emotion, Ashera readies her magic the tower beginning to shine.

"Wait!" A voice yells in Ashera's head, her other half Yune. "We were awoken by the Galdr of Release,"

"And what of it, the Beorc and the Laguz waged war upon each other,"

"Lehran caused this war," Ashera's face not emoting, she looks down at the kneeling Lehran.

"Is what Yune says true?"

"Yes, my goddess. Th-"

"Enough," Ashera interrupts, her magic currently halted.

"Beorc and Laguz failed us, Ashera. That much is true. But did they really have a chance against Lehran? We must take pity on them," Yune urges.

"If they had fallen prey to their own idiocy, then I would have started anew. But if Lehran kindled the flames of war, then the blame rests not solely on them. They shall receive yet another chance,"

"Then-"

"But, they still need changes. Both the Beorc and the Laguz are far too disobedient. For there to be order, they must be more docile. I conclude this judgement without your analysis, Lehran,"

"Forgive me my goddess," Lehran remains motionlessly kneeling.

"If you wish to save them from my original judgement, Yune, then you will enter the Tower of Guidance within a day. This shall require the both of us,"

"Of course," Rushing forward in her corporeal form, Yune wastes no time in arriving at the Tower of Guidance. Lehran keeps his face pointed at the ground even once Yune arrives, his plan a failure.

"Follow my lead, Yune. With our judgement, we shall save them from themselves,"

"What is the judgement, Ashera?"

"If they lust over battle and warfare, we shall change them. With this judgement, they will be too fat to worry about such things," No room for argument, Ashera begins chanting. Yune soon follows her lead, not willing to lose the only chance she has at saving the Beorc and Laguz.

"If I may speak my godesses," Lehran interjects. "There is a concerning issue pertaining to the Begnion Senate that should not go unpunished,"

"You may have lied to me, but your opinion is important, Lehran. If you believe these members to be vile, then I shall investigate," Finished speaking, Ashera and Yune prepare.

The battle still raging, no one knows the incoming change to their life. A couple moments after, a sense of unease spreads throughout the army; multiple soldiers, Beorc and Laguz alike, begin to lower their weapons and revert respectively.

The entire battle halted, everyone stands awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Looking around, their senses indicating to look at the sky, a bright flash suddenly appears; the beam explodes on the ground, enveloping the entire battle and spreading past it.

The explosion and light fading away, the confusion continues, nothing happening. The fighting remains on hold, no one raising a weapon.

A dropped lance is the first sign, the Daein soldier placing a hand on his stomach. A bulging stomach pops out his armor, the straps ripping off as he tosses a shield to the floor. Thighs widening, the moderately loose pants tighten, the white fabric clinging as each thigh grow. Stance widening, he no longer resembles that of a soldier. Now much wider, the simple act of standing is more strenuous than before. Huffing, he freaks out.

"The laguz! They-" Pointing a finger at his enemies, the Daein soldiers panic. Their panic subside upon the Laguz's growth, the Daein soldier no longer the only one.

The pointed at cat Laguz is the second to grow. Lithe, skinny body typical of them replaces itself with a larger one. His lack of armor serves as a boon, the loose clothing able to support his growing form. The wide pants don't hide his growing rear, his ass burgeoning as weight piles onto it. Thighs squishing together, the pants withstand his new weight. While his upper form receives less padding, the strap across his waist rips immediately, his bulging stomach pushing against his shirt. Tired, he sits down on the floor, his body grateful for the rest.

No longer a clear culprit, the armies panic again. The panic continues to fester as more of the soldiers follow the example of the two original victims. Growing out, the sound of weapons dropping, grunts, and clothes ripping fill the area instead of fighting. A variety of sizes, no one escapes their judgement. The smallest after the growth all have decent sized guts, exercising back to their normal weight requiring far more than a year's time. And they are the smallest, some men even nearing immobility as they rest and pant on the floor, their clothes torn to shreds. With drastic differences in size, that is not the only thing different, some having varied distribution of their newly added fat. Some having asses meant to destroy chairs and even tables while others grew a hill for a stomach.

On average, the Laguz were slightly larger, more fat needed to impede their great strength. The tiger Laguz are the largest, having the highest percentage of near immobile cases. The cats and hawks are smaller in return, their typical nimbleness removed with such puffed out forms.

The Beorc have a wider variety, an even amount of people being on the smaller scale -well what is considered smaller now- and people near immobile.

Everyone's weapons now thrown aside, the majority of them rest, the smaller ones walking around. Soon, the cacophonous sound of people's stomachs rumbling fills the air. Differences aside, Beorc and Laguz help each other up, everyone waddling back to their camps to eat.

Watching it all a top a hill is Skrimir. Eyes furrowed, he growls as he sees his fellow Laguz quit fighting. Unaffected, he doesn't move, unsure of what to do. Heavy footsteps heading his way, Skrimir sniffs the air. Smelling Beorc, he turns around.

Pelleas's now extremely heavy form walks up the hill. Sweat perspiring on his forehead, Pelleas sighs as he collects his breath. Within the immediate area, Pelleas had also grown. Out of the Beorc, Pelleas was the largest one present, his stomach cascading down to his knees. A bulbous face overtaken by bulging cheeks. His clothes torn, he uses his cloak to cover his front, a blush perpetually on his face as he swings one meaty thigh past another, his sagging stomach and moobs swaying with each step.

"I've come to offer a treaty," Pelleas huffs, placing a meaty hand on his stomach as he catches his breath.

"Why now?" Skrimir barks. Why can't Ranulf be here he thinks. Trying to be peaceful is still too new to him.

"The Begnion Senate held leverage over Daein; we were unable to defy their orders. But now, the curse controlling us is gone," Tiredly lifting his fat arm to show it, the blood curse no longer appears. "Daein has no wish to continue fighting the Laguz Alliance,"

Skrimir glares at Pelleas. Finding nothing but nervousness from the king, he sighs. "Then I'll speak to the king for a treaty,"

"Thank you! I'm sure-" Pelleas quiets as he hears Skrimir's stomach let out a concerning growl.

The effect now reaching Skrimir, he balloons out as well. Skrimir's clothes tear instantly, his body far too big for them. Groaning, Skrimir pushes his stomach back in as he growth further. Guessing incorrectly, his ass shoots out behind him, his loose kilt ripping. Legs growing further apart, one extra growth spurt is enough to send Skrimir to the floor. His immense fat jiggling, Skrimir breathes heavily as he continues growing further. The snow offers a decent padding as he widens and fills out, thighs becoming increasingly larger as his stomach envelops them. No one growing past immobility proves wrong as Skrimir's growth ends. His Herculean muscle now hidden, even that isn't enough to lift himself up. Huffing and gasping, Skrimir puts a hand on the ground. He can't even get slightly off the ground, his weight too cumbersome.

"Help me!" Skrimir struggles, his fat shaking all over.

Obeying, Pelleas hesitates for a moment, wondering where to grab. He grabs Skrimir's mitt sized hand, each sausage finger stuck together. Giving a pull offers no help, Skrimir stuck on the floor. Letting go, Pelleas tumbles to the floor as well. Smaller than Skrimir, and less gifted in his rear, the snow is a very welcome padding as he lands. Struggling, Pelleas gets back up, the cold irrelevant as he sweats from the exertion.

"Get help," Skrimir gasps for air; his stomach growls soon after. "Get food first," He corrects.

Pelleas finds himself agreeing as he rubs his growling stomach. On the way back to camp, Pelleas announces the treaty and end of Daein's participation in the war. Multiple cheers resound, several people offering Pelleas food, most of it now gone. He happily accepts it all, grabbing it for himself and for Skrimir.

Those not on the battlefield find themselves in the same predicament.

Tibarn incessantly flaps his wings, his bulk far too heavy to be lifted off the ground. His jacket meant to show his rippling abs and huge pecs, the clothing no longer exists, torn to shreds by Tibarn's gargantuan stomach, the mound pinning Tibarn's legs.

"Naesala! I'll rip your wings!" He shouts as he once again unsuccessfully gets up.

"I didn't do this! If I did, do you think I'd be affected you sack of lard?" Not as large as his fellow bird king, Naesala is still massive. Most of his weight went towards his rear unlike Tibarn, and unlike Tibarn, Naesala was still mobile. Unfortunately, in his search for help, he wedged himself in the door, his ass refusing to budge.

"Say that to my face," Finally lifting himself off the ground, Tibarn grunts as he keeps flapping. A couple inches is all he can rise up, Tibarn's body crashing back down, shaking the floor.

The tremor is exactly what Naesala needs, his ass finally free upon the door cracking from the tremor. "Well, I guess I can now...." Naesala freezes at Tibarn's massive form. "Perhaps in a bit," Abandoning the immobile Tibarn who yells at Naesala, Naesala waddles his way to the kitchens. His stomach and noise guiding him correctly, he finds it heavily packed. Other Laguz already inside, none of the them pay him any attention as he grabs food, all moving to the side upon seeing Naesala's larger form. All seemingly having forgotten Naesala's betrayal in favor of focusing on eating.

Grabbing a large platter of assorted cheeses and meats, most of the food already gone, Naesala heads back.

Upon seeing Naesala's return, Tibarn struggles again to get help, refusing help from him.

"I didn't get help, but I got something that'll help us,"

"Food is the last thin-" Tibarn muffles as Naesala shoves the food into his mouth. Pathetically flapping his wings and barely having the energy to fly onto Tibarn's stomach, Naesala sweats.

"It will help me to get you to shut up," Sneaking portions for himself, Naesala keeps feeding Tibarn whenever he speaks.

The initial area is only the beginning, Ashera's judgement soon spreading across Tellius. The Beorc experience it first, Crimea, Daein and Begnion. Afterwards, the Laguz: Gallia, Phoenicis, Kilvas and eventually Goldoa and even Hatari, none escaping their judgement.

____________

Definitely will be continued, I just wanted to get this portion instead of having it all in one. Typical "world is fat au" but it's an oldie but a goodie.

[brieannakeogh]

Dog Days of Summer- Ch 6

Dog Days of Summer- Chris Evans X plus sized reader. Dog days of summer are usually defined as the hottest of the year, some define it as lazy days. This year ‘hottest’ has nothing to do with the outside temp. You meet Chris and Dodger Evans while taking your own dog to the park.

Previous Chapter / Master List

Warnings: Cursing and fluff, mild angst

It was about 10pm when your phone dinged. You had already changed into pjs when he left your apartment, and had just finished brushing your teeth when it went off.

“Tonight was fun. Thank you for cooking and having me over for dinner. I was thinking maybe we could take the dogs back to the park tomorrow. It’s been a few days since we saw our friend Ron.”

“It was a very pleasant evening. I had three very handsome good boys in my apartment all night. My neighbors are all going to be jealous. The park sounds great and I think Ron has been very happy we’ve stayed away. Also thanking you for shopping with me. If I had known dinner was going to be a regular thing, I would have included you in more meal planning. We’re going to have to go again soon since it won’t stretch as long with the two of us.”

“I hope you don’t feel obligated, we don’t have to do that. I can also pay for half the groceries too.”

You didn’t see it as an obligation at all, just another way to spend time with him. The fact that he seemed a little insecure himself, endeared him to you even more.

“I actually really like the idea and don’t worry about the money. I’ll get it out of you in slave labor, for toting all those bags, and in gas for using your car.” You were now properly in bed, Popcorn laying at your feet, with the light off.

“Lol, fair enough. I’ve got a few reps I need to do before I hit the sack, if I’m going to hold all the grocery bags.”

“You’re going to work out this late at night? I’m already in bed, lights off, ready for sleep.” You can’t say he wasn’t dedicated.

“I could counter it’s a little early to be going to bed. Let me guess you wear feety pajamas to bed?”

Was he indirectly asking what you were wearing? Your thoughts went directly into dirty territory, but you were trying to fight it. “Don’t say it, don’t say it.” You mumbled to yourself as you typed in a reply. Of course you don’t listen to yourself and text him back with a flirty response.

“Feety pjs are good for lounging, but I don’t like to be restricted when I sleep. Clothing tangles too much when I toss and turn.” Which was true, nude sleeping was always the best. “I had planned to read for a bit before going to sleep as well. I need to...let’s say, relax, after that kiss.” Your eyes widened and you bolted upright after you reread what you sent. While you were a much better and braver flirt over text and chat than you ever were in real life, your heart pounded wondering if you had gone too far, especially after he took longer to respond. Almost two minutes had passed before you see the three little dots from where he was typing again.

“I see a cold shower in my future. Probably multiple this week.”  You sigh in relief and lay back down slowly. “I’ll let you go...relax and if you ever need help with that, you have my number. Goodnight and sweet dreams.”

“Goodnight.” You reply simply ignoring his offer of help comment, tempted to text him back right then, but you knew it wasn’t the time. He had you so worked up, that it didn’t take long for you to be able to cum and relaxed enough to sleep. Your dreams full of blue eyes and a ruddy brown beard.

The next morning you expected to wake up groggy, but giddy excitement from everything that happened yesterday still flowed through your veins. So much for taking it slow.

Your phone already had a message from Chris, telling you a time to meet him at the park and then after you hadn’t responded, teasing you for sleeping in so late. Rolling your eyes as it’s still before 11am, you shoot him a quick text back confirming the time.

Getting yourself and Popcorn ready for the day you head out in time to meet Chris at the dog park. You see him sitting on what you have dubbed in your head as ‘our’ bench and walk over to him. He’s gone casual in his backwards baseball cap, sunglasses and sweatpants. The hoodie he’s wearing looks super soft too. Spotting you as you get nearer, he goes to stand, but you wave him back down as you unhook Popcorn and sit beside him, leaning into his side.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” He answers back.

“Fancy meeting you here.” You smirk. “Where’s the pupper? I was expecting kisses.”

“He’s found another playmate.” Chris points to the other side of the park where Dodger is chasing a black and tan dog around playfully. “But I can volunteer my services for kisses if ya like. Guaranteed less slobber.” He smiles, eyebrow arched.

You’re surprised and look around at the other people in the park. “I mean, I don’t mind but don’t you worry someone will…” He cuts you off with a quick chase kiss to the mouth, forehead and cheek.

“See no one noticed, and even if they did fuck ‘em.” He tells you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, and you find you are quite content to just lay your head back into his arm and watch the dogs play. Well dog play, because like usual Popcorn is lying near the bench asleep.

The two of you fall into small talk. Typical things like the weather and the show you had watched the night before, which quickly turns into politics and heavier topics somehow. Chris is pleasantly surprised you share a lot of his views and the ones where you differ are not deal breakers for either of you.

You love watching the passion in his eyes as he talks about the different subjects, much more so then when the topics were light and fluffy. He was ranting about climate change and Biff when you couldn’t help but to let out a giggle.

“What?” He asks with a soft smile.

“Nothing, I just really like this. I’ve just never gotten into this heavy of a conversation after, what? This is technically our second date right? Does yesterday count as a date since it morphed halfway through?”

“I would qualify it as a second date. You knew my intention when you invited me over for dinner, plus you changed and straightened up.”

“Caught that did you?”

“Again, were you trying to be subtle?” You laugh and shake your head. “Also isn’t it better to go ahead and get deal breakers out of the way. I mean we aren’t getting any younger and it would suck if we liked each other a lot and than hit a wall.”

“Ok, shoot.”

“Let’s see….of course you would have to be ok with the actor, famous thing. I won’t want to go officially public until I’m sure. I don’t want to share my private life in front of an audience.”

“That’s perfectly fine with me. The red carpet seems stressful.” He smirks a little at that.

“Also permanent residence here in Boston, and kids. I’ll want those.”

You nod at the Boston, but pause at the kids. This you were iffy on. “I don’t want kids right now, but maybe if I find the right guy, in a few years.” You look up to him and he doesn’t seem bothered by that.

“That’s understandable. You want a little time as a couple before kids.” You nod at him. “Must love dogs and Disney.” Which you roll your eyes at. He’s seen your Disney collection and the dogs are why you are there in the first place. “What about you?”

“Hmmm well, the away on set all the time will be hard, but I’ve dated workaholics before. Can people visit?”

“Depends and sometimes I don’t have a lot of free time when filming.”

“I think it’s manageable. I’m pretty flexible, just the obvious things. Ya know like cheating.” He nudged you in the side to be more serious. “I don’t know, I can’t think of any. I mostly just don’t want to be treated like shit and taken for granted. Which is why the long away periods worries me. Not about you but that my insecurities will fester and tell me why the hell would you want to date me? Then you don’t answer a text and I’ll freak out which will make you mad and upset because you didn’t do anything wrong, you were just working.” Saying all of that quickly in in one breath, you huffed out and relaxed your shoulders.

“Wow, that got real, and dark.”

You roll towards him, putting an arm around his waist and your forehead on his chest. “I warned you I was crazy.” He snort laughs. “No, I’m just thinking extremes. It’ll probably be fine.”

Chris’s hand rubs circles on your lower back. “You know I have to make out with people and pretend to have sex too right?” His voice is very serious like that’s been a problem in the past.

You sit up and look at him in the eye. “Uhhh I’ve watched your movies before...I know how acting works.” The confusion in your voice evident.

“It’s just been a problem in the past when I’ve dated someone not in the industry.”

“That won’t be a problem. It’s a job you’re working, that doesn’t count as cheating and I’m not the jealous type. Honestly, how do you think my ex-fiance got away with it so long? I knew it was just him and his secretary at work all night alone together but I believed him when he said he was working. I’m stupidly trusting.”

“Optimistic is what you are.”

“Optimistic huh? I like that. So no deal breakers found. Does that mean we can go eat lunch, I’m starving.”

He chuckles and calls Dodger back. At the little dog friendly bistro the hostess asks how many, which Chris confirms two, but you interrupt asking if Ron is working.

“What are you doing?” Chris whispers in your ear and you wave him off.

“It looks like he is and he has a table open on the patio if you prefer to be seated in his section?”

An evil grin comes on your face as you tell her “That would be lovely.” Chris shaking his head at you the whole time.

The hostess seats you with a couple of menus and Chris just keeps looking at you with a “I can’t believe you are doing this again.” look on his face as he tries to keep from laughing.

You watch as Ron steps up to your table, not really looking at either of you, as he goes into his spiel on welcoming to the restaurant and what specials there are.

He looks up with a polite smile on his face and you see the look die in his eyes as he recognizes the two of you, unconsciously taking a step back. Chris is hiding his face in his menu, but you can see the shaking of his shoulders.

“Hiya Ron! Long time no see. How’s life been treating ya?” The excitement in your voice breaks an audible snicker from Chris.

“Just fine ma’am. What can I get you to drink?” Ron is trying to be as professional as possible and you have to admire him for that.

“I think waters all around?” You look to Chris who nods, not able to say anything. “Don’t forget thing one and thing two.” You point to the dogs.

Ron grips his pen a little tighter. “It was separate checks correct?”

You look him right in the eye without blinking. “No Ron, not anymore.” And you smirk.

Ron huffs out an irritated sigh and turns on his heel to leave.

Laughter from across the table makes you break into a fit of your own giggles.

“Was that why you wanted Ron’s section?”

“He looked down his nose at me last time, so I wanted show him he shouldn’t judge people. I know it’s a little on the petty side but just let me have my fun.”

“Hey you have as much fun as you want, but you’re paying for the tip. I’m not going to be trying to judge how much extra to give based on how much of an annoyance you were to him. We’re still in the ‘everything is endearing and cute’ stage.”

“So ‘everything is endearing and cute’, you say? I don’t think I’ve heard of that stage. Can you give me an example, use it in a sentence?”

A sly smile forms on his face that has you worried. “For example, that cute little screech you do when I leave.”

Your face heats up instantly. “You heard that huh?”

“The whole floor heard it, but it was cute.”

“Aww you think I’m cute?” Ron stops by the table to drop off water. “Ron did you hear that? He thinks I’m cute.”

“That you were acting cute.” Chris corrected.

“Ron we’ve known each other a while now. Do you think I act cute or just am cute?”

Ron blinks down at you and turns his head to Chris. “Sir sincerely good luck to you and you have my deepest sympathies.” He turns on his heel and walks away from the table without looking back at you.

“Wait? Was that a joke? Did Ron actually make a joke?” You asked Chris excitedly.

“I’m am now certain you have broken Ron.” Chris nods solemnly.

You both crack up at that and then actually read the menu instead of pointing at something random. Leaving Ron alone for the rest of lunch, you still provide him with generous tip at at the end and you think you see a smirk when he comes to pick it up.

The short walk back to your apartment is nice. Conversation flows naturally and you don’t feel as if you need to fill up all the space with talking. The awkwardness you use to feel having the gorgeous man keep pace beside you has all but dissipated. You still find it strange, but his presence puts you at ease. You’re starting to think that maybe this could work, although you didn’t know for sure until you had to go months apart. That was the real test.

The two of you step out of the elevator and into the hall, the dogs in tow. Another plan of watching tv to pass the time before dinner was already in the works. Chris wanted to finish the show you were watching and you were happy to oblige.

Sticking the key in the lock, it turns but without the telltale click when it unlocks. Your brow furrows and you pause with your hand on the doorknob.

“Everything alright?” Chris asks from behind you.

“The door wasn’t locked. I could have sworn I locked it when I left.” His face mimics yours with a frown.

“Step back and take the dogs. Let me go in first just to check.” You really want to argue but you’re scared and he gives you hard look when he hands you the leashes to not argue. He tries to be quiet as he slowly opens the door. You can’t help but to try to peek in around him but his wide shoulders don’t leave much room around the doorway. After he steps inside, he pulls the door to but not completely shut, keeping you on the other side in the hallway.

“Who the fuck are you?!” You hear someone who is definitely not Chris, shout from the apartment. You knew that voice, you had fucked that voice. No longer sitting on the sidelines you barged in and see Matt standing in the living room, arms crossed like he had just caught an intruder.

“I could ask the same buddy.” Chris responded with very similar pose, although with a couple more inches, height and width, on Matt. Chris was much more intimidating.

“Chris it’s fine.” You come up behind him with a hand to his lower back, and he looks down at you confused. “Well it’s not fine but I’ll handle it.” You shove the leashes into his hands as you move between them. “Chris this is my asshole Matt. Asshole this is Chris.” Chris’ eyes flash with recognition and he takes a look at the ex-fiance, judging him on all levels. “Now that we are all caught up, what the fuck Matt? You can’t just let yourself in. You don’t live here anymore and you said you gave me all your keys.”

“I’m still paying for the place. I can stop by if I want to.”

“No, no you can’t, that was the agreement. You moved out and moved in with your side bitch, and as an apology for making me quit my job and move to Boston, you paid rent up for this place until I could find a job.” You were so angry, you were boiling. You didn’t shout, your voice just got cold and deeper as your rage rolled off of you. Matt had never been smart about telling your moods and today was no exception. Chris on the other hand, stepped a little closer, towering at your back to add even more menace to your words, or possible hold you back when you launched yourself at him. It was hard to tell.

Matt scoffs. “Don’t give me that. Who’s this fucker? You’re telling me you weren’t fucking him on the side while we were together?”

“That’s exactly what I’m say, not that you have any right to know. What are you even doing here Matt?” You were suddenly tired and just ready to get this man out of your apartment so you could settle on the couch with Chris. Matt’s eyes shift from you to Chris and then glance at the bedroom. “Oh my god! You can’t be serious!” This you did shout. “You wanted to stay here? Did she kick you out already?” Matt at least had the decency to look ashamed this time, before he went into begging mode.

“Come on Marshmallow, we had good times right? It’s been miserable without you.” Chris’s hand on your shoulder tightened when your ex tried to win you back with nonsense. The audacity he had to pull this stunt in front of who was obviously your new boyfriend, and much bigger than he is, was ludicrous. Uncrossing your arms from your chest, you place a hand over Chris’s to give him a bit of comfort, not that he even needed it. He knew how you felt about the man in front of you, that was digging himself deeper with each word he spoke.

“Matt, please leave. You cheated on me, we’re done.” You cut him off as he was telling you what a ‘big mistake he made was’, but you couldn’t care less. It was very simple to you. “Hand Chris your keys on the way out, he needs one anyway. This will save us a trip.”

The nice guy act that Matt had been putting on melted in front of you. “You can’t honestly fucking expect me to believe you’re dating this guy?! He’s probably just the dog walker. You couldn’t get someone like this to fuck you unless you were paying them. That’s exactly what you’re doing isn’t it! Yeah you had to get yourself a fucking escort since nobody would touch you!” Matt sneers at you.

Chris was right to have come up closer, because you did in fact attempt to launch yourself at him, more in his defense than your own. Even with his muscles he had a hard time containing you, especially when you threw your weight into it. What got you to calm down was Chris’s loud booming voice calling your name. It sounded just like Captain America was disappointed in you.

“Ok, I’m done staying out of it. Matt or whatever the fuck your name is, hand over the keys. If I ever find out that you were in my girlfriend’s house again, without her permission, I will have a reason to use the myriad of lawyers I keep on retainer.” He turns to you and hands you the leashes to the dogs, who are both looking scared after being witness to the fight. “Take the dogs into your bedroom and calm them down, while I escort him out and down to the lobby.” He runs a finger over your cheek and you realize a stray tear had run down. All you can do is nod and you go around to the back of the apartment to the bedroom. You can hear some muffled talking before the front door closes again.

“Shhh, it’s ok guys, it’s all over now.” Kneeling on the floor you pick up Popcorn and wrap an arm around Dodgers neck, burying your face into the fur on his back.

After what could have been either a few minutes or 15, time wasn’t moving correctly in your world, the door creaks open with Chris leaning on the doorway. He sees you in the floor, arms wrapped around both dogs and his eyes soften. “Did he give you the key?” You ask him. He holds it by the key ring and lets it dangle. “That’s good. I’m really sorry about that. I never thought that he would ever show up here again. I hadn’t prepared for it.”

He sighs and squats down beside you, a hand on your head running it over your hair. “We did move a little fast as well. It was just such a rare opportunity, for both of us, where we didn’t have other things so we could spend as much time as we wanted together. I was enjoying it.”

“Me too.” You bite your lip, debating whether or not you wanted to ask what was on your mind. “Did he say anything else?”

Chris’ eyes flashed for a moment and he took his hand from you. “If you want to take him back just tell me now. I can’t say I understand, but I know you have a history.”

“What?” You were thoroughly confused until it clicked. He thought you were asking if he said anything more about taking you back. “Fuck no I don’t want him back. I just wanted to make sure he didn’t make any threats to you or the dogs or anything. Him being in here and letting himself in freaked me out. What if he has another key?” You were starting to panic and he could hear it in your voice. He sat beside you in the floor and pulled you to him.

“I don’t think he does, although I’m going to have to let my manager know. He finally recognized me when we got to the lobby. He seemed more scared when he figured it out, which was weird. I’m still going to have to keep an eye on it to make sure he doesn’t try to cash the story into the tabloids.”

“Uggg this was not what I wanted. This is your vacation time, you don’t need to be more stressed.” You bang your forehead into his chest, a soft ‘ow’ from him stops you.

“Let’s just forget about it for now and go relax on the couch like we’d planned. After we’ve both calmed down than we can talk.”

It was that word, talk, that dreaded word that got your heart racing again. So much for relaxing tonight.

Next Chapter

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