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nightowlwriting · 3 years

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summary: fjord takes care of the mighty nein. you take care of fjord. (part 4/13 of the kindness series, a thematically connected series of c2/exu imagines)

word count: 2.7k

warnings: mentions of self-hatred, bullying, lack of self-confidence

note: idk why this one took me so long and, honestly, it was almost super nsfw lmfao

masterlist - request - support my work? - ao3

Fjord is a man who appears to know exactly what he needs and when he needs it. You’re not so sure. You tend to hang back when the group talks to people, or finds jobs for coin, just to watch. That’s what you like to do - get information, tuck it away, use it later.

It just happens that sometimes you end up watching Fjord. There’s no reason, not really. He’s the leader by default, no matter how much Nott will say that it’s Caleb. He does most of the talk, smiling all coy and leaning against things to charm the party’s way through whatever Gods forsaken situation you end up in. It mostly works, with some exceptions. There are things you begin to notice in the nights after Fjord has failed to charm someone with a well-placed wink, or a sir or a ma’am. He makes the fire just a little bit larger, stacking logs and kindling and using his flint so that Caleb doesn’t have to use his magic. He cooks heartier food, sometimes even disappearing and coming back with a skewered animal from the forest to add to the pot of simmering soup. He takes the first watch and doesn’t wake anyone until halfway through the second watch so that everyone can sleep longer, even if it makes him crabby the morning after.

You come to a conclusion. Fjord takes care of people when he feels like he’s not enough. He overcompensates in his acts of kindness when something he does fails - but why? To make you all stay? To make sure you know his worth in the group? To make up for whatever he sees as a downfall? Honestly, you’re worried it’s a little bit of all three. You’re not really sure about how the mind works - that would be more for Molly, or Caleb honestly - but growing up in an orphanage with children who pick and prod at your every physical characteristic cannot be good for a person. Especially with Fjord insisting that he doesn’t have a last name, despite the times that he introduces himself and you see it die on his lips before he can say it. There’s something there, but you won’t pry. People deserve their secrets. They deserve to keep something for themselves.

If he wants to keep his last name, that’s fine with you. If he wants to keep the self-loathing inside of him until he explodes, well, that’s not fine with you. That’s why when you realize that he decompresses by making himself useful, as if the group might dismiss him just because a few people were immune to his charms, you decide to do something. No amount of reassurance from anyone will convince him otherwise and the rest of the group tends to shrug away from his slightly overbearing kindness when something goes south. Caleb, Beau, and Molly are just uncomfortable with it while Jester is usually too engrossed in journaling, Tusk Love, or talking to the Traveler. Nott is somewhere between Caleb and Yasha (uncomfortable and straight-up not around to be doted on.) And… Well, that leaves you.

It’s not that you mind Fjord’s constant doting after he perceives something to have gone wrong, but it’s hard to let him in. Your life before the Mighty Nein wasn’t exactly peaches and cream, either, but you know that he needs this. He needs to feel like he’s doing something for someone or he’ll break. You only notice that, though, after a particularly rough, rainy day of trying to get information out of people for a job. Fjord had forgotten something important which threw off the communication and sent everyone you were working with into an angry tizzy. By the time you make it back to the tavern, everyone is soaked to the bone and cranky, even you - and you tried your best to avoid getting out in the rain. What you really want to do is go back to your room and change out of your wet clothes and then go to fucking bed, but you hold back. The group disperses one by one until it’s just you and Fjord left at the bar, and before you can make your leave you see his hands shaking. His hands, which are large and calloused and strong, are shaking like a leaf in the wind. There’s no other outward sign that he’s feeling stressed or upset, and that surprises you. It also worries you. This is not how Fjord acts when something goes wrong. He doesn’t sit at the bar and brood over an ale - he mother-hens his friends until they’re sick to death of hearing his deep, drawling voice.

The combination of these things is probably what makes you pause halfway out of your seat, eyes narrow and trained on him. He makes eye contact for a brief second before looking back down to his drink. You know that approaching and asking him if he’s okay will get you nowhere but you can’t leave him alone at the bar, not when you know he’s stewing on every mistake, every misstep, whether they really happened or he’s just overanalyzing his movements. He’s your… He’s more than a friend to you, despite the fact that he doesn’t know that and you don’t show it outwardly. Fjord means too much to you to be able to let him sit and spiral into a funnel of self-doubt. You know that it will be weird to put your pride to the side and ask for help, but you also know that you don’t really need help.

But asking Fjord for help means that he’ll feel better and you think that’s a very good reason to shelf your pride for a night.

He barely looks up at you when you approach, still dripping all over the tavern’s floors and hesitant to speak. He doesn’t speak, either, just takes another long pull from his ale to bide his time until you leave. (Probably.) You take the leap first and say his name. “Fjord.” He doesn’t look at you. “I know we’ve all had a bad day,”

“You can say that again,” He snorts.

“We have,” You stress, one hand finding the hilt of the dagger on your waist for some sort of comfort. You’re wildly uncomfortable and can feel the urge to run, get away, flee building up in your gut. If you’re not careful, it’ll spill out your mouth and you’ll be forced out of the tavern for the night in humiliation and self-preservation. “It has been one hell of a day today. I do not want to be alone.” Your sentence cuts off briskly and Fjord looks up in surprise. Your face mirrors his - untamed surprise. You had really opened your mouth to ask if he wanted to find a table and listen to your vent but what came out was I do not want to be alone. You blink and think what the fuck? Before Fjord is shaking off his surprise and standing.

“I suppose I can give Molly the room for the night.” He extends an arm towards you but doesn’t look at you. He’s doing a much better job of hiding how strange you’re acting than you are but still, you’re not going to let this opportunity pass. You wrap your own arm around Fjord’s and he begins to lead you toward the stairs. “Anything specific bothering you?”

“Nothing really,” You hum as you respond, hoping that by allowing him past your walls that it will help him, “Today is just a bad day.” Fjord halfheartedly agrees and your nerves shoot through the roof when he leaves you at your door, explaining that he’s going to warn Molly that he won’t be in the room tonight. You nod at him and slip into your own room, leaving the door cracked so that he won’t feel awkward about entering. Your laundry is everywhere and you grit your teeth, doing your best to hold back a scream. God damnit, you’re about to have the man that you have a crush on in your room and today is the day you threw your laundry all over?

It doesn’t even matter that he’s traveled with you in carts where there is no possible way to not overlap on laundry slash unmentionables. You still dash about, shoving your laundry into a pile in the corner and covering it with your weapons and shield just before Fjord raps his knuckles against the door frame, calling your name. You shiver and invite him in, wringing your hands as you stand in front of the unlit fireplace. “Are you okay?” He’s so earnest and it makes you feel… A little bad. You don’t want to say no to having Fjord be with you overnight because his presence is so calming, but it’s also… He’s not in your room because…

Ugh. “Fjord,” You say before you can stop yourself, “Okay, so, you can’t be mad but I noticed when things go wrong you’re really, really hard on yourself and you shouldn’t be. And I also noticed that when you’re hard on yourself you dive into taking care of other people because, I don’t know, maybe it feels like you’re doing something good? I’m not sure, but I really meant to ask if you wanted to talk but then that came out instead but I can’t let you stay in here if you don’t know why I asked.” He stands there, taking in what you’ve said, and then shakes his head. Your room is dark - too dark for you to see whether or not the small smile on his face is actually there or if you’re imagining it. When he chuckles, you’re more apt to believe that Fjord is actually smiling even after the day he’s had. “Um,” You finally cut the silence, “Please say something.”

“You mean to tell me,” He drawls, stepping slowly closer and removing his chest plate. It’s like his mood has gone a full 180 from where it was when he left you outside of your room, “That you looked so awkward and like a li’l kicked puppy because you wanted to help me feel better?” He sets his chest plate on the table, coming into your sight as your vision begins to adjust. You don’t get a good look at what’s happening on his face because you look away very quickly, setting your jaw.

“Well, when you put it that way,” You grumble and cross your arms, “You just like to help people - it makes you feel better.”

Fjord comes to a stop in front of you and sighs, but doesn’t say anything. Your hands begin to shake and honestly, you regret your stupid fucking decision to try and help Fjord out. You wouldn’t be here, standing in front of him and purely humiliated, if you didn’t look at him and notice so much. He finally responds, one of his hands coming up to touch at your bicep and then trails up until he’s cupping your shoulder. “I do like to help people,” He’s speaking more from his chest than his mouth, and you can almost feel the rumble through the grip he has on your shoulder. It’s not tight but it’s there, heavy and comforting. “I didn’t think anyone noticed.”

“I notice a lot,” You supply, tugging your chin away when Fjord tries to use the other hand to make you look at him. It’s only after he says your name in a soft voice that you look. You’re surprised to see that he looks soft… Soft and fond. “Please,” You whisper, uncrossing your arms to grab both of his wrists. You’re not even sure what you’re asking for but the way that you whispered please is the closest to begging that you’ve ever gotten.

“Please?” Fjord says, sounding incredibly confused but soft at the same time. You shake your head, trying again to look away from him. He ducks down, catching your eyes again, “It’s just me, remember? This is why you asked me here, isn’t it? To help you feel better?”

To your horror, you feel yourself mist up. “I invited you here so you could feel better, Fjord. I don’t want you to be so hard on yourself, and the only time I’ve seen you calm down after a bad day is when you’re taking care of one of us. I thought… Even if I don’t really need to be taken care of, that would help you. I just want… I want you to feel better.” He steps closer toward you, caging you into the rough stone of the fireplace but doesn’t speak. You’re almost worried that Fjord is going to cold clock you, but then he does something that you expected even less.

He surges forward and kisses you. Every part of him nearly engulfs you - the hand on your shoulder moves to the back of your neck, anchoring you to him, while he groans deep in the back of his throat. Your hands scramble for some purchase to express your surprise, landing on his hearty shoulders, clenching in the fabric of his shirt. You sigh into Fjord’s groan, and press as close as possible to his body heat. No matter how much you don’t want to admit it, you’ve been craving this: closeness with another person, pressing tight against their body… You’d be lying if you didn’t admit that when you thought of that, of intimacy, that you pictured Fjord. You just didn’t think he pictured you.

Fjord surges forward again, and you feel the soft scrape of tusks against you when he opens his mouth to breathe, keeping his nose pressed tightly to yours. “I didn’t think,” He says, accent thinner than you’ve heard previously, “I never dreamed that you would feel…”

“Oh, I feel,” You tell him, slowly moving your hands until you can intertwine your fingers behind his neck, “I feel so much, Fjord.”

“You never said…” He sneaks another kiss between his words, dropping his hands to squeeze at your waist, “You never even let on that you see me this way.”

“I do a lot of looking and not a lot of showing,” You remind him - it was something he had said to you when you first joined his group. I always catch you lookin’, but you never show. It’s terribly funny because he’d said it while the Mighty Nein were all naked, sudsy, and sharing a bathhouse at Molly’s insistence. The group had a field day with that and still does. The memory is apparently still fresh in Fjord’s head because a blush creeps high over his cheeks and he looks away, flustered. “You’re strong and pretty and beautiful and you take care of us so well. Even when you’ve had a bad day. I look up to you so much, but at the same time I want, perhaps selfishly, to take care of you in ways that you might not take care of the group.” He almost looks surprised at what you’ve said, but then it melts into a look of soft adoration. Fjord kisses you again and then drags his lips lightly over the arch of your cheek before he rests his head on your shoulder where he inhales deeply, his breath tickling your throat. You can feel his hands contracting against your waist, like he wants to touch and feel but is settling for keeping them where they are and feeling the soft give of your flesh. You know your heart is spinning at what feels like a million miles per hour, and you know that he can probably hear it, too. You can’t find anything in you that cares, though, because you’re so close to Fjord. He smells like saltwater, you realize. Not in a way that it seems like he’s been coughing it up again, or in the ocean, but just sort of… Naturally. Like he’s always smelled that way. Like you’ve always known he smelled that way. Like you were always meant to know and to find comfort in it. You pull yourself closer, relishing in the way that you hold each other, and Fjord sighs. You can feel the way that he relaxes underneath your hold and you relax, too.

This… This is the way that it’s supposed to be. This is how you can do for Fjord what he’s done for your team - except different. Except more.

#critical role imagine #c2 imagine #cr imagine #fjord stone imagine #fjord imagine #fjord stone x reader #fjord x reader #fjord stone / reader #fjord / reader #campaign 2 imagine #critfic

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oscar-lettjohanssonloveme · 3 years

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A Woman Like You pt. 3 (Diane Sherman x socialphobist!reader)

as i promised, there is chapter 3 whoohoo

request: need another part to a woman like you 😌

warnings: social anxiety i guess

here is pt two: https://littlejeaniehugsbumblebees.tumblr.com/post/640358893165363200/a-woman-like-you-pt-2-diane-sherman-x-reader

google translate- :’)

To say Y / N hadn't socialized in college would have been a lie. There were 1 or 2 students with whom she got along well.

One of them was Wylan Montgomery.

Wylan was a tall, slender man with sandy hair. Y / N couldn't tell if she thought he was pretty with his pale skin, but what she did know was, that she didn't find him attractive. But she liked him. Wylan didn't speak much as he was also more of an introvert and lived in his own world. Often Y / N and Wylan studied together in the library, checked each other's homework or discussed books. Nothing special, actually, but there was one thing that Y / N really appreciated about her friendship with Wylan: the weekly chess game.

Y / N loved chess. It was a strategy game, that wasn't about communication with the opponent at all. A game, that could be played in complete silence and the only important thing was concentration.

Wylan and Y / N had a tradition of meeting in the library every Thursday afternoon to play chess together.

Their game could take hours and it was not uncommon for Wylan and Y / N to be the last in the library by the end of the evening.

And when Y / N and Wylan were sitting in the library in the back corner by the window on this rainy Thursday and had been playing for an hour, Y / N couldn't have imagined how this afternoon would end.

"Damn it," Wylan muttered quietly as he stared strained at the chess board. Y / N, who was just as focused as he was studying the board, lifted her eyes to meet the blond boy in the face.

His green eyes literally jumped over the board as he nervously chewed his lower lip, as he always did when they were playing.

It was Wylan's turn and he'd been sitting there for 3 minutes without having done anything. Just like Y / N, he considered every step he took, not just in chess, but in real life as well.

Y / N looked back at the chess board and let her eyes wander over the black wooden figures she was playing with today.

She heard Wylan exhale loudly as he reached out to put his white pawn on E4.

How predictable, thought Y / N. She leaned forward to take the time to consider her next move. Wylan was a good player, but transparent as he often used the same strategy and the game was also relatively early on.

"Mister Montgomery?" Suddenly called a female voice that made Y / N flinch. Both students immediately raised their heads to look at the woman, who owned the voice. Professor Sherman came running out from behind a bookcase.

"I've been looking for you for 20 minutes .. Your roommate told me you were probably here," she explained with relief when she recognized Wylan at the table.

"Professor Wright sent me, he's been waiting for you for an hour."

Y/N looked confused away from Diane, who was ignoring her, to look at Wylan's face. The blond man seemed just as confused as she was when suddenly his eyes widened and he let out a quiet "fuck".

"Do you know where he's waiting for me?" He asked, turning to Diane, who shrugged.

"His office, I assume."

"Uhm okay, thank you".

Wylan stood up and gave Y / N a pleading look.

"M'sorry," he muttered.

"It's okay," Y / N replied and looked back at the chess board.

"I also have a lot to do."

He smiled wryly before turning and jogging out of the library.

Y / N looked back at the chessboard and started packing up while trying to ignore the fact, that Diane was still relatively lost across the table.

"Do you really still have a lot to do?", The professor suddenly asked and Y / N immediately raised her head to look at her confused.

"Excuse me?"

"If you want, I'll play with you-"

With narrowed eyes, Y / N looked into Diane's face and watched the professor chew on her lower lip.

"Is that pity?" Y / N asked skeptically and Diane quickly shook her head.

"Oh no," she said. "It was just an idea."

"Well, I've already started cleaning up, I-"

"So far you have only taken the rook off the field, it was on B5", Diane interrupted her and looked at the rook in Y / N's hand.

"But the game has already started", Y / N tried to get rid of her professor. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't because Y / N didn't want to, on the contrary, she would have loved to play with her. But Diane was a stranger and to Y / N all strangers were her enemies.

In her mind she ran through all sorts of scenarios of how it would all work out.

Y / N's hand would probably tremble so much when placing the figures that she would knock over the other ones.

Maybe she was sneezing or something like that, maybe she would accidentally touch Diane. Maybe Diane was the kind of person, who talked a lot while playing and stared hard at Y / N while concentrating. On the other hand, chess was a game, that required a lot of concentration and nobody could blame Y / N if she kept silent while playing. And even though Y / N was afraid, that she might breathe too loudly, she knew, that she would regret it, if she would reject Diane.

"All right," Y / N finally uttered with a sigh and immediately regretted it. Damn it.

Diane smiled at Y / N's words before taking a seat across from Y / N at the table.

"Great," she muttered and Y / N put the black rook back on B5.

And then they started playing.

The next 3 hours were filled with a pleasant silence and concentration, for which Y / N was very grateful. So Diane wasn't the kind of person who talked a lot while playing. And that nobody spoke was not at all uncomfortable. Even so, Y / N tried to imagine that Wylan was sitting across from her and not her literature professor. But it was impossible; Diane's fingers were much slimmer than Wylan's. Then there was the cinnamon scent of her perfume, which replaced Wylan's aftershave, and at last there were the reddish-brown hair tips that slid onto the chessboard every time the professor leaned over to grab the figures.

Y / N didn't even look at the clock during the entire time and didn't even notice that the whole game lasted 3 hours. She hadn't noticed either, that it was already dark when she finally put Diane in check and she muttered:

"check

For the first time since they started playing, Y / N carefully raised her eyes to Diane to take in the expression on her face.

The woman frowned at the game board while her chin rested on her palm. Y / N noticed, that she was wearing the dark blue cardigan, as she often did in her seminars, and for whatever reason, Y / N liked this cardigan.

"Shit," said Diane finally, leaning back in her chair.

"You actually won."

"Well then, checkmate", Y / N muttered before reaching for her bishop to knock over the white king.

Meanwhile, the professor's brown eyes were still running over the field to analyze the entire game again.

"It's crazy," she finally said, leaning forward again to lean over the board.

"I've never met someone, who plays as subtly as you do."

Y / N lifted her gaze from the king to look straight into Diane's eyes.

Bad idea. Eye contact was disgusting and Y / N immediately blushed before glancing quickly at the lamp on the table.

"To be honest, I assumed you would win," she explained, staring into the bright light. Diane must have turned it on when it got dark.

"Why did you think, I would win?" Diane asked confused and Y / N could feel her gaze on her.

"I don't know," she replied and shrugged her shoulders.

"I played black-"

"Oh come on, you can't be serious"

"It was just a premonition, one of us had to win anyway and I just assumed you would be the one," Y / N tried desperately to justify herself before looking back at Diane, who was slightly confused and shook his head with a smile.

"You're weird," she muttered and Y / N felt a small sting in her chest. She hated it, when she was called that. As a social phobist, her greatest fear was, that people would perceive her that way. All she wanted was to be seen as normal, not as a weirdo.

For a few seconds she involuntarily lost herself in Diane's brown eyes and in these seconds her head was completely free of all anxious thoughts. To be honest, there was nothing left in her head. She could just stare. Diane finally cleared her throat and Y / N immediately averted her gaze in shame.

"I should go now, it's late and I have to go home," explained Diane as she got up.

"I have to go too," said Y / N quickly as she started clearing the board.

"Uhm, thank you, Miss Y / L / N," Diane said sincerely and smiled gently.

"It was great fun."

Y / N only nodded briefly and continued to collect the pieces from the board while listening to Professor Sherman's footsteps moving further and further away.

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It's like that with social phobia (at least for me): When I meet people and I'm very nervous in this situation qnd the meeting can be as relaxed as possible, but in the end only the things that stick in my memories is that, that were not perfect . Please don't get me wrong, shortly afterwards I am always very relieved, because all of my bad fears (like that I'm breathing too loudly) have not come true, but the more I think about this situation and how well everything went, I notice that it was still not perfect. There are little things that bother me: a confused look, a long moment of silence, the fear, of having laughed too loudly or the fact, that I accidentally touched the person I met while running.

I just want to do everything right and in no case overreact or do too much. And these little things that I mentioned above make me feel, that what I've done was too much and I decide to do less next time. Saying less, laughing less, just less.

And in the end, I really only have the things, that bothered me and after a while that's all I can remember.

That's why Y / N could only remember the moment, when Diane called her "weird". It was actually nothing, but Y / N feared nothing more, than the judgment of strangers and Diane's testimony hadn't really helped her, on the contrary, Y/N hated her literature professor now and had decided to skip the next seminar with the excuse, that she was sick.

And somehow she felt sick too. Y / N was of the opinion, that no one could understand her better than herself. She knew exactly what she had experienced. She knew, why she was the way she was and just the thought of talking to someone about it, made her tired. And when Diane called her weird, she realized again, that people can't help but judge. Advantages and clichés change our view of things so much and Y / N knows that, because she was not better.

To make matters worse, she had had to stare into her professor's eyes for a few seconds too long. Diane had to hate her, even though she'd said thank you for the game at the end. But as I said, over time that faded and the only thing that Y / N left of the afternoon was the moment, Diane called her weird and the brown color of her eyes, in which Y / N had lost itself a little too long.

Those were the things that were "too much". And at night Y / N lay with her head buried in the pillow, repeating this mantra in her head, which she always said to herself, when she had spent the day outside of her comfort zone:

"I hate people. I hate people. I hate people."

Sometimes Y / N's comfort zone was only the radius of her bed and then she hated getting up early. There was also her annoying roommate Andrea, who often dragged strangers into her room during the day and Y / N hated people. However, Andrea was also one of those people, who preferred to spend their nights in strange beds rather than their own, which is why Y / N was often alone at night.

It was Monday afternoon and Y / N had been in bed all day reading some stupid book. Probably no one had noticed, that she was missing from Diane's seminar today, she was practically invisible.

And when there was a knock on the door that afternoon, Y / N assumed, that it was Andrea who had forgotten her key again.

Y / N was wearing leggings and sweather and still she felt naked when she climbed out of bed to open the door, which was because she wasn't made up. When she opened the door of her room and saw who was standing there, she wanted to slam the door again.

"P-professor Sherman," she stuttered awkwardly, staring into Diane's slightly smiling face.

"What are you doing here?"

"I, uh, I just wanted to see if everything is okay with you," replied Diane with crossed arms. Y / N frowned.

"Do you visit all of your students, who are sick to see if they are okay?"

"I uh- No".

Diane shook her head.

"May I come in?"

Y / N's eyes widened slightly.

"That's not a good idea," she said quickly.

"It'll only take a moment, so please."

Y / N took a second to think about it. She hated Diane, this woman had destroyed Y / N's comfort zone and didn't have to do much to get it. Y / N was so emotional and so vulnerable that a little "weird" was enough to make her insecure.

"Okay," she finally said, nodding before turning to let the woman in.

Now she noticed, how chaotic the whole room was and she was immediately ashamed when she pushed Andrea's shirt aside with her foot, before she sat on the edge of her bed. Diane had closed the door behind her and crossed the room to take the chair at Y / N's desk, which was next to the bed.

"So, how are you?" Asked Diane, sounding a little uninterested, if Y / N could tell.

"I'm okay."

Y / N shrugged.

"I'll be honest," Diane began, staring lost at the chess board, that was on Y /N's desk.

"When I found out today, that you called in sick, I was initially concerned, that it was because of our chess game."

Y / N's eyes narrowed. Damn it.

"Why should I call in sick about it? It was nothing," she lied and Diane nodded quickly.

"I know," she muttered, pensively lifting a black pawn off the board to turn it between her fingers.

"That was, to be honest, the best chess game I've ever played with anyone."

Y / N snorted and shook her head.

"Then it seems like, you've never played with good players, I'm actually really bad," she said with a wry smile.

"It doesn't really matter," muttered Diane.

"I was just afraid, you'd called in sick, because you might find it strange to play chess with me, as your professor."

"And you thought the situation would improve, if you just visit me, as your student, in my room?", Y / N replied confused and Diane just shrugged her shoulders.

"I guess- Uhm, it would be nice if you go now", Y / N explained and got up, because she wanted to go to the door to open it, but when she made the first step, Diane suddenly grabbed her wrist and Y / N immediately whirled around to face her. She stared into Diane's eyes, which looked up at her with concern.

"Are you depressed?" She asked quietly and Y / N decided to hate her even more. Diane found her weird at first and now depressed. Then there was her tight grip on Y / N's wrist, Y / N hated body contact.

"What the hell, no," she hissed and pulled her arm free from Diane's grip. With quick steps she ran to the door to open it again.

"I think you should really go now, I don't want anyone to see me in the dorm with you."

Diane stared at Y / N for a few seconds, before finally getting up and walking to the door as well.

"I'm sorry, that I bothered you," she muttered without looking at Y / N.

"Get well soon, Miss Y / L / N."

With that she stepped out of the room and Y / N immediately locked the door behind her when she felt tears sting her eyes.

I hate people.

#diane sherman x reader #diane sherman #diane sherman imagine #sarah paulson x reader #sarah paulson imagine

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concussed-to-pieces · 4 years

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Late July

Fandom: Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Pairing: Agent Whiskey [Jack Daniels]/Reader

Rating: Holy shit explicit.

Summary: Upon hearing about you from Tequila, Jack Daniels seeks you out with a full set of emotional baggage to work through. You happily oblige, helping him craft a scene that just might grant him some peace of mind. Enjoy!

Tag List: @huliabitch @wrestlingfae @cookiethewriter @culturalrebel @jackierey09 @crookedmoonsaultpunk @duker42 @agirllovespasta @nelba @pedrosbigdorkenergy @lestrange2703 @youmeanmybrain @luvley-shadow @theocatkov @miscellaneousjunkk @reluctantlyresponsibleadult @buttons-beads-lace @gooddaykate @lackofhonor

[!TRIGGER WARNING!: This installment contains consensual non-consent (surrender play), light domination, roleplay, unprotected sex, frank discussion of safe words, usage of safe words, dirty talk and light bondage. Remember that fanfictions are not research and that you should never engage in any activity if you do not trust your partner. Stay safe!]

There was just something about you that put people at ease, and Ginger Ale noticed during the interview process. "You have a gift!" She had praised you, her smile unexpected and bright. "I can see why Tequila recommended you for this position."

Granted, being the 'head of first impressions' at a distillery that was actually a front for a secret intelligence agency had its ups and downs, but you enjoyed the work and (if you were honest) the exciting interactions with the Statesman agents.

Tequila, of course, would practically drape himself across your desk as he regaled you with (hopefully) exaggerated tales of his heroics. The two of you were sexually involved but preferred to keep each other at arm's length out of the bedroom, neither party particularly keen on surrendering your freedom and committing to anything serious at this point of your lives. You admired his dedication to Statesman, and he in turn respected your desire to have a successful career. He also was blatantly mooning over a certain analyst.

Ginger Ale was quieter and sharper than Tequila, her dry humor a joy to witness. She was the one who had done your interview, and she had given you the full behind the scenes tour once your background check went through. She was beautiful, charismatic and smart as a whip. You hoped to one day be as self-assured as she was.

Champ tended to keep to himself for the most part, though you had encountered him several times in the past when he dozed off in a certain chair at the end of a sunlit hallway. The elderly man was like an old tomcat, you decided, able to prowl but more than willing to take it easy.

Whiskey was often away managing the affairs of their New York headquarters and as such, was the one that you interacted with the least. He would come breezing in at all hours, a slow smile and a wink directed your way before he would saunter past. The rare occasions that he engaged you in conversation were nerve-wracking, as you were a little starstruck due to the glowing accounts both Champ and Tequila had given of his prowess in the past.

Ginger Ale was a bit more down to earth, thankfully. "He's just a man who's lost a lot, and his reasons for wanting to change things for the better may not be entirely altruistic." She had informed you concisely when you queried about the origin of one Jack Daniels. You had picked up on the veiled sadness in his dark eyes, the age that seemed to weigh him down that wasn't entirely related to years.

So when the aforementioned Statesman agent had drunkenly expressed a certain desire to you at a company party, you couldn't hide a little spike of curiosity. Mainly because the two of you interacted so rarely. Hell, you wouldn't even call yourselves friends. Tequila must have told him about your side activities.

"Ever since I lost her, I can't fuckin' bring myself to raw anyone else." The confession had come out of left field, but you had done your best to play it off like it was normal. Lord knew you had done enough paperwork in your career at Statesman to understand that agents would just kind of…say things thoughtlessly if they believed they were in a safe environment. A hazard of the job.

"What do you mean, Mr. Daniels?"

"Call me Jack. Jesus, I ain't that old." He had hiccupped sharply, grimacing. "I just mean I...it's like a mental block. I wanna', I'm excited about it, and everything's fine until I try to come and boom. Python shrivels up like a damn salted slug and I'm left holdin' the bag tryin' to explain myself." He stared into his glass, looking pensive. "Real mood killer."

"Any idea why this might be?" You had prompted, leaning against the bar and idly scanning the throngs of people around you. It wasn't every day that so many of the company's rank and file rubbed elbows with the higher-ups, but you had to assume these economic mixers were what had kept the company (and intelligence agency) on such an even keel. It was a grounding experience, a way to remind the suits of their humble beginnings.

He scoffed out a breath. "Oh I know exactly why. When I lost her, I...we had only learned a little while before that she was havin' a baby. We'd been havin' a rocky time and we were actually thinkin' of breakin' up, but that news…" Jack had tilted his head to glance your way, his brown eyes distant. "If I hadn't gotten her pregnant, she wouldn't have been out shoppin' that day, y'know?" A sad smile had quirked his mouth beneath his mustache. "My fault."

At the time, you had made a noise of sympathy and gone to lay a hand on his arm before you could think better of it. He, instead of shrugging off your touch, actually ended up twining his fingers through your own and giving your hand a light squeeze.

Agent Whiskey's past was a shadowy affair in the Statesman organization. Though to be fair, no one really asked anything about anyone. Ginger Ale reasoned that the less people knew, the safer they and Statesman were in the event of a security breach.

Anything you learned from any of the agents, you tended to keep close to your heart. It was your nature to gather useful information and foster trust for a rainy day. That personality facet had served you well as you had climbed the ranks from intern to head of first impressions, and knowing that you were someone that could be counted on to hold your cards close put many people at ease.

Including one Agent Whiskey.

"Tequila said you were good at helpin'. I'd be much obliged if you'd consider takin' a crack at my sexual baggage."

...

"Alright so for your words, you've decided on 'sixth' as your 'yes I'm into this', followed by second for 'slow down but don't break character', first for 'slow down and do break character' and finally neutral for 'full stop'." You tapped the customary notepad on your lap, glancing over at the man across the table. The two of you were currently sitting in the kitchen of the vacation cabin that your parents had willed to you, the modest dwelling often your staging ground for affairs like this. The warm wooden decor tended to make your partners feel more at ease and less vulnerable. Perceived safety was, after all, incredibly important when crafting scenarios.

Jack nodded. "Gears are easy for me to remember. Simple."

"Got it. And no kissing on the mouth. Can I kiss you in other places, or would you prefer I didn't at all?"

"Kissin's fine." Jack allowed. "Whatever you wanna' do is fine, just not on my mouth." You jotted that down. "Hey, I uh...I just wanted you to know that I really appreciate you agreein' to help. I dunno' if this will work, but…" Whiskey rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Thanks. When Tequila mentioned your...extracurriculars, I figured he was jus' bein' outta' pocket again."

You grinned at that, giggling a little. "Does he get weird a lot?"

"I mean, he's uh...well, he's got his moments." Jack replied with a smile of his own.

"So," you hummed once you had checked your notes again, "after looking over all the information we've compiled, and the ideas you gave me an outline of, I'm thinking that you may want more of a 'surrender-play' kind of experience."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Dare I ask how that's different from what I already suggested?"

"Look, you and I both know that I couldn't keep you from moving if you wanted to. Now, if we had a real working dynamic going on and I believed that you would listen and trust me implicitly so that you don't end up hurting yourself or me, then we might have something. But as we are right now, that's not gonna' happen." Whiskey inclined his head with a rueful chuckle, acknowledging the truth of your words. "So I propose that it's more of a scenario where all the agency is removed."

The agent leaned forward, folding his hands on the table. "Explain."

"You need a scenario where you aren't in control and there's not even a chance of you being in control, taking any responsibility or guilt from the equation." You elaborated. "Basically, you would surrender your control so that you can indulge guilt-free. A lot of people do this coupled with a roleplay aspect in order to test new things that may be out of character for them."

"You coulda' jus' said you wanted to tie me up, sugar." Jack drawled. "I'll show you some good knots."

"You don't have any issues with being secured to...I guess a chair, probably? We'll keep you upright. If we sprawl you out on a bed that might be a little too vulnerable." You reasoned, waiting for his nod before you wrote it down. "I know it sounds contradictory, but I want you to be comfortable in what we do. Should I leave your clothes on?"

"If you can stand to, I'd appreciate it." The man answered with a cheeky wink. "Bein' naked and restrained is a little too close to the job description." He sighed after a moment, tipping the chair backwards as he laced his fingers behind his head. "Now I warn you, if I'm supposed to be an unwillin' party, I may display a little less Southern hospitality and a little more Southern history with my language, if you catch my drift."

You pursed your lips, squinting at him. "...is that your way of saying you might use a naughty word or two?"

You received a lazy finger-gun in reply, "bingo, cherry pie. You got any names you ain't a fan of bein' called?"

"Oh! I mean, I've heard just about everything in the book." You straightened up as a thought occurred to you, and then pointed back at him sternly. "No slurs."

"Ma'am," Jack sounded aghast, "I am not that breed of Southern gentleman. My lingo can verge on the spicy, but I sure as hell wouldn't stoop to that level."

You narrowed your eyes to drive your point home. "I really hope not." The agent inclined his head once more, putting a hand over his heart in a display of sincerity.

The front legs of the chair met the floor with a soft clatter, once again putting him on stable footing. "Now, I been wrackin' my brain tryin' to drum up a good premise like you asked, but I ain't exactly big in the screenwritin' department. I figure it could be kinda' like I'd been kidnapped? Drawin' a blank on why my kidnapper would be rawdoggin' me, maybe you can come up with somethin'?" He queried hopefully.

You furrowed your brow in thought, going silent as you carefully considered the hodgepodge of contributing factors. "Oh, I think I can manage."

...

This deck had been rigged from the start. In theory, you knew that he knew that. Still, he was certainly acting like it stung his pride a bit that he'd fallen into your 'trap' so cleanly.

Everything was going according to plan.

Whiskey struggled against the binds that secured him to the kitchen chair. His whip was safely confiscated. Lasso out of reach. Hat was still on his head. He had specifications, after all.

You left him to wriggle for almost half an hour while you got yourself ready. The man was a secret agent, after all. If he hadn't been restrained for much longer than that at any given point you would be very surprised.

You finally opened the bathroom door, sauntering out into the cabin's small kitchenette. "Miss me, love?" You crooned, committing to your role as villainous vamp stereotype number six. You had worn a plain set of underwear and an oversized white t-shirt, soft and see-through from the amount of times it had been washed. You got the feeling that if you went more elaborate, you might scare Whiskey off or make him too uncomfortable to really get into it. This scene was all about trust, and he hardly knew you. But he had sought you out for this. All you had to do was follow through.

"Was beginnin' to worry that you forgot about me, ma'am." The agent drawled back, his smile tightly sardonic and his low voice curling hot in your belly. "You fixin' to untie me yet?"

You clicked your tongue, the noise disappointed. "Whiskey, sweetheart, where's the fun in that? If I untie you, you'll just kill me."

"Can't blame a man for tryin'." Jack was absolutely in his element right now. He looked furious.

You ambled around behind him, slinging your arms around his neck and resting your weight on him briefly. "Remember," you murmured in his ear. "If you need me to slow down, or need to stop entirely, you say…?"

"Second, first and neutral." The agent replied readily. You patted his cheek.

"Good boy." You praised.

"Ain't my first rodeo." Whiskey's tongue darted out nervously to wet his lips and you wanted to reassure him, but you knew you had a job to do.

"Now, can I get you a light refreshment? Something to drink? Maybe some chips?" You offered, moving to the small refrigerator that you had stocked a little earlier in the day. Planning was imperative for engagements like this. "I have water, sweet tea, Coke…"

"Dammit woman, stop beatin' around the bush! Why the hell do you have me hogtied to this damn chair?!" Jack erupted.

"So rude." You chided him, removing a water for yourself and then leaning casually against the counter. "You really want to know, Mr. Whiskey?"

"Obviously." He scowled.

"Well be a patient boy and maybe I'll tell you." You hummed, not making eye contact as you unscrewed the cap on the water bottle. "It was more than enough trouble for me to get you here in the first place, big shot. Don't rush me."

"Listen, I'll be the first to tell you that I probably ain't who you're lookin' for." He said bluntly. "I'm just a simple liquor tycoon, nothin' more."

"Mr. Whiskey, if you continue to insult my intelligence maybe I will decide I've got the wrong man. And then I'll just get rid of you." You swirled the water in the bottle, fixing him with a thoughtful look.

"You're talkin' a mighty big game, woman." Jack grumbled.

You sloshed some of the water on your thin white shirt as if by accident, and began daubing at the gauzy fabric aimlessly. "Whiskey-"

"It's Jack." He spat.

"Oh, we're on a first name basis? How exciting!" You teased him, laughing when he muttered angrily under his breath. He was clearly enjoying the role of 'belligerent definitely-not-a-spy'. "Alright then, Jack. I won't beat around the bush, as you so tactfully put it."

"Hallelujah, some goddamn cooperation." He replied in a sulky tone.

"So, Jack, I need you to come inside me. Strictly so I can bypass Statesman's biomechanical security systems. It's nothing personal, I just assumed you would be the easiest target, you know?" You remarked with a shrug. "The flirty cowboy with the filthy mouth." He stared at you and you raised an eyebrow, half-convinced that his reaction was legitimate. "What? You do have a reputation."

"I hate to break it to ya', but you got the wrong beverage. You're lookin' for Tequila, ma'am." Jack retorted, his voice a little raspy. "You want...what?"

"I need you to come inside me so I can use the your genetic signature to bypass the security." Granted, you were pretty certain that Statesman used exclusively fingerprints, retina scans and time locks, but Whiskey had told you to weave a good story for the setup, not necessarily an accurate one.

Jack swallowed hard. "You've got bats in your fuckin' belfry, woman. You expect me to-"

"Oh no, that's the beauty of this arrangement." You interrupted him, still smiling. "I don't expect you to do anything aside from sit there and stay still while I ride you."

"Jesus fuck woman, you--shit, isn't there some other way to do this? I ain't keen on the prospect, but if there's literally any other way…"

"Sorry. This is the only solution that my superiors could get behind." You sighed, feigning regret. "And we might be here a while, from what I've heard." Jack's eyes darted to yours and he flushed, working his jaw. "Don't look so glum! I'm one of the best in my field. I'm sure I'll be able to compensate for your...lack of investment."

"You touch me and I swear to God-"

"Ah ah, naughty boys get gagged." You threatened gently, walking your fingers up the side of his face to stroke them back down his jawline. Jack glared at you, his dark gaze fairly luminous with fury and maybe just a touch of poorly-veiled interest. "Be a good boy and I'll let you talk as much as you want. Maybe I'll even let you play with my tits, hmm?" You asked, cupping your breasts through your still-damp shirt. "Would you like that, love?"

"I…" Jack trailed off, then snapped his eyes back up from your chest. "No!"

You tapped his nose, winking. "Oh I think you would. Don't be so stubborn, Jack." You cocked your head to the side. "No one from Statesman even knows you're gone. No one is coming to rescue you." You informed him, all the playfulness evaporated from your voice. "You're mine now, Jack. My own personal key-card."

"You won't get away with this." Jack snarled.

"I think I already have." You knelt between his legs, running your hands over the jeans that covered his thighs. He squirmed, trying to dislodge you, but you just moved with him. You dug your nails into his thighs. "You keep wiggling and I'm going to have to tighten the ropes, Jack. Is that what you want?"

"Oh you filthy fuckin' woman, you absolute bitch, let me go!"

"Hmm," you tapped your chin as he kept jerking and straining against the knots. "No."

Jack froze when your fingers unbuttoned the button at the top of his fly. "Now wait, wait just a damn minute, y-you can't--" he tried to plead.

"Oh I can. And I will." You looked up at him. "As long as we're in the right gear?"

"Sixth, sixth." He affirmed, flashing you a quick smile. You nodded and seamlessly resumed your play.

The zipper of his fly opened devastatingly slow, the agent exhaling raggedly when you pulled up his shirt and palmed his groin gently through the fabric of his boxer briefs. His cock was already half-hard, and you pointed that out with a mean little smirk on your face. "Oh no, looks like someone's interested." You crooned, rubbing your index finger over the head of his still-clothed dick.

"Fuck off, you...y-you-" he swore, rolling his shoulders as if he was testing his bonds. "You little bitch."

"Temper temper." You chided, ducking your head down to mouth over the fabric of his boxers. Jack gasped out another swear over your head, his hips twitching up to meet you before he slammed them back down. "Methinks someone doth protest too much." You snorted, splaying your fingers on the newly-revealed skin of his stomach. "We could make this so much simpler if you would just give in, Jack." You didn't miss the way his skin jumped at your touch, and you smiled against his boxers.

"You'll--you'll have to do better than that." Whiskey breathed. "You think just any ol' woman can get me up?"

You stood, leaning in close and pressing your mouth to his ear. His whole body flinched when you wrapped your fingers around his cock and gave him a nice, slow stroke. "Oh, poor thing. You must believe you're really special, hmm? God's gift to mankind every time you take someone to bed." You mocked, your teeth and tongue laving over his earlobe. "We're all so lucky to have you, Jack."

"Hhn-" Jack's shoulders went stiff, the man obviously biting his tongue.

"You don't have a choice, sweetheart. I'm going to get you hard. Then, I'm going to use your cock. And all you have to do, my lovely, handsome cowboy, is come inside me." You informed him, drawing a finger beneath his chin. "More than once, preferably."

"I'm not usually a man to voice my own shortcomin's, but I must warn you that this will be a futile-" Whiskey's words hitched in his throat when you stroked him again. "Fuck, no, don't touch me like that, you--"

"Stop playing hard to get, Jack." You murmured, slinking your free hand up the back of his neck to massage his scalp right beneath the band of his hat. "Give up."

"Never." He hissed even as his head lolled forward, granting you more access to rub his neck.

"Pity." You settled back down between his legs and wrapped your lips around his cock.

"No, no, dammit-" Whiskey growled, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. "Don't you fuckin'...no, no, don't use your tongue the-ah f-uck--" His protest died in a pitiful groan when his cock met the back of your throat. "Oh, you--fuckin'--you've got to be shittin' me woman, the whole-?" He grunted out haphazardly as you relaxed your throat and took him all the way down to the base. "You think y-you can take advantage of me jus' cuz' it's been a while since I got laid? Fuck you."

You hummed around his cock, wanting to giggle when he twitched and swore loudly. Your fingers dove past the hem of your underwear, and you moaned against him as you ran your index in slow, steady circles around your clit.

"I ain't fuckin' you, and I sure as shit am not gonna' come in your pussy." Jack snarled.

"Oh yes you are." You sang, rising to your feet and slipping your panties off. The white t-shirt came next, baring your breasts to the air-conditioned environment.

Jack seemed to forget that he was supposed to be vehemently against this yet again as he just...watched while you teased your nipples. You tugged at the taut peaks, rolling them between your fingers and making a show out of the whole bit.

"I can't wait to have you inside me, filling me up, just pumping me full of your come." You said with a smile, sauntering over until you would be in reach if his hands were free. Jack's tongue made a nervous reappearance and you tugged his chin upwards so you could see his eyes. "Are we still in gear? Or do we need to shift?" You asked. He seemed slightly dazed.

"Oh! Uh, sorry, s-sixth." He stammered. "Sixth, holy shit."

"Mm. Don't disappoint me and maybe I'll let you live." You remarked smoothly, swinging one leg over his lap and straddling him. Jack's shoulders were rigid again and you kneaded at them surreptitiously, trying your best to keep him in the scene and out of his own head.

You were well on your way to soaking wet with arousal. There was nothing better than when you had a partner that trusted you, regardless of whether you had truly earned that trust. Just the fact that they had blind faith in you to execute the endeavor that they needed...it was heady and sweet and you loved every second.

You rutted your pussy against the underside of Jack's cock, the man snapping his teeth at the sensation. "Too good?" You taunted, laughing when he swore again.

"I can't believe that you think I'm fuckin' enjoyin' th--look, any dick perks up at heavy pet-"

Cutting Whiskey off mid-sentence was quickly becoming a favorite pastime, you realized as you angled your hips and let the head of his cock push past your pussy lips. "In, just a little, give you a taste, sweetheart…" you sighed, rocking your hips forward and back but not allowing him to sink any deeper into you. "There, that's not so bad, is it?" You cajoled as he shuddered beneath you. "Just keep being good, my sweet cowboy, and this will all be over so much sooner."

"No, no-" He struggled to move, to do anything, but you had made certain to tie him exactly as he had specified. "Dammit, when I get free of here, I'll--"

"Shh, you think too much." You tapped your index finger to his lips, smoothing it over the bristle of his mustache. "Focus on your job right now, and everything will be fine."

Jack turned his face away, inadvertently presenting the thick column of his neck to you. And you, channeling your inner villain, leaped at the opportunity to lick and bite at the bared skin. He made a strange noise, a combination of a moan and a whine that had you raising an eyebrow.

"Is someone a little sensitive there?"

"No, I am not." He answered through gritted teeth. "I hate that you're touchin' me, that's all!"

"Hmm, it doesn't sound like you hate it." You mused, suckling gently at the spot where his jaw met his throat. You were very careful not to leave marks, as that had been another specification. Whiskey struggled underneath you again, only succeeding in pumping his cock up into you slightly.

"Don't, don't--" His voice actually cracked and you smiled, nuzzling your nose beneath his jawline and letting his dick settle deeper.

"Oh no, it seems like you do want to fuck me after all." You shrugged nonchalantly, leaning back and stroking over the base of his cock with two fingers. "Warming up to the idea of being my little fuck toy, Jack?" You teased, noting the way his knuckles whitened from his grip on the rope and his Adam's apple bobbed with the force of his convulsive swallow at your words. "I could just keep you here like this forever, you know. All tied up, helpless for me…" You squeezed the base of his cock and he gasped, trying to stifle the noise. "Soon, I'd have you trained so that you couldn't come from any other pussy aside from mine. Wouldn't that be fun?"

Without waiting for an answer, you let the last few inches of his dick enter you. You leaned back on his thighs, feeling the muscles coil and strain beneath your touch as you reached down and grazed your clit. You could feel the heat of his gaze on you, those brown eyes fixated on the motions of your fingers even as his cock split you open. You were grateful that he was secured, you weren't sure if you would have been able to take him otherwise. His cock curved thickly against your back wall, the engorged head throbbing back and forth over the area that made your whole body shudder in delight.

Whiskey's jaw was taut, his shoulders set in a rigid line that made you ache to get him to come undone in you.

"You're so quiet." You pouted, raising your hand and brushing your wet index finger over his slack lower lip. "Aren't you having a good time?"

His chest abruptly expanded, like he had forgotten to breathe for a moment or two. "Fuck you." Whiskey seethed, making you chuckle softly. "I ain't nobody's goddamn fuck toy."

"Sweetheart," you chided as you sat up. "That's not a very nice thing to say to the person warming your cock right now." You deliberately clenched down on him and Jack swore under his breath, shaking his head. "I can make you feel so good, Whiskey, if you just give me what I want." You insisted, cupping his face and pulling halfway off of his cock.

"N-N...No." He replied weakly.

You sighed, rolling your eyes and shaking out your shoulders. "Well, I tried." Your hands landed on his shoulders and you gripped down to steady yourself, your hips meeting his own with a wet slap! of skin. Jack's chest heaved, his eyes closed and head tilted back as you began to ride him roughly. "All I wanted was for you to come in me. I don't feel like that's asking for much!" You complained petulantly, rolling your hips against his when he was hilted in you with an agonizingly slow grind of your body.

Jack bit out a low "fuck," those tense shoulders trembling under your touch. You tucked your face into his neck to tease the sensitive area even more, your tongue tracing random patterns that made him squirm and writhe underneath you. "I don't--can't, can't, don't make me--" he tried to protest, his words fractured and pitiful.

"Yes you can, and you're going to." You snapped, taking a handful of hair at the nape of his neck so you could urge his head back further, leaving his throat at your mercy. "You're coming in me, Jack! Give up!"

...

"First!" He choked out, and you immediately slowed to a crawl. Your touch on him gentled significantly, no longer demanding but cradling, caressing.

"Easy, easy." You soothed, the unrelenting assault of your perfect hips gone to a slow and careful rhythm, back and forth like a porch swing in the summer heat. Your eyes searched his own, concern shining through.

Jack was speechless, his blind panic melting away at the sound of your regular voice. What the hell just happened? He licked his lips, only now realizing how dry they had gotten. "Sorry, I uh-"

"No apologies." You murmured. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Would you like to stop now?"

Whiskey took a long moment, running a mental check on his body. Nothing was sore, nothing seemed out of line. Everything was raring to go.

Everything aside from his brain, that is. The damn thing wouldn't stop conjuring up scenes of you pregnant and everything going to absolute fucking shit. It didn't matter that he had zero attachment to you, it didn't matter that you were on birth control. This was how it always was.

Every damn time things got serious with a new interest, "oh, let's start a family," Whiskey just wanted to curl up into a ball. Without fail, like clockwork, he would shut down.

And then the accusations would start, the distrust, "How come you can do it with protection but not without?" and it was disheartening, crushing to go through again and again. Explaining didn't seem to do a lick of good, it was always just that he was stringing people along, that he was a damn selfish prick, that he didn't care about what his partner wanted.

That couldn't be further from the truth, of course, but maybe that was his own fault for not dropping the bomb before getting attached to someone. He just couldn't ever seem to justify asking a person on their second or third date, "hey so what's your thoughts on having kids?" It felt manipulative, cheap, and if he was being honest, he knew for a fact that sometimes just the idea of having children was enough to scare a potential interest off.

You were the first person to try and help Jack really wrap his head around this whole issue. And yeah, that was the whole point in sussing you out, but…

Tequila didn't tell him that you actually gave a shit, or at least you were damn good at acting like you did. Whiskey bit his lip. "I'm okay." He said finally, trying for a smile.

"Anything chafing? Do you need some water?"

"I…" Jack trailed off. "Huh, I admit I am a bit parched. But that means you'd have to get up." He realized unhappily.

"Were you enjoying yourself?" You asked, sounding curious.

Whiskey got the hysterical idea in his head of you pulling out some sort of satisfaction survey at the end of your engagement, the notion making him smirk slightly. "God, yeah. I...yeah." He flushed a little bit. "Dunno' if I ever got this far after…after all my mental hangups and stuff. The fact that I don't have a say in the matter seems to be helpin', though."

"Okay, don't go anywhere. I'll get you some water." You patted his thigh, cautiously settling your feet on the floor and then going to stand with a quivery little gasp that absolutely stroked his ego.

Jack couldn't help his own groan at the loss of your heat, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. "Damn it woman, has anyone ever told you that your pussy is fuckin' perfect?" He muttered, his usual honeyed words suddenly clumsy in his mouth. "I mean, hell."

You laughed, bending over to dig in the small fridge for another water. Whiskey felt his entire body throb at the sight of you presenting yourself to him like that, and he sucked in a breath at your obvious teasing. Even in the soft light of the kitchen, he could see the glisten of the wetness between your legs. Hell yes, he found himself thinking stupidly as you turned back around.

"I'm just glad that you're doing alright. That's the most important part to me, after all." You assured him, unscrewing the cap on the water and tipping it to his lips.

Jack gulped greedily, feeling a few droplets escape his mouth and run down his neck to blot his collar. "I am. One hundred percent." He said firmly after he had slaked his thirst. "Let's keep goin'."

"If you're sure, absolutely." You acquiesced, smiling again. Placing the water bottle on the kitchen table, you then swung your leg over his thighs like you were vaulting back into the saddle. Jack held his breath, waiting for you to welcome his cock back into your body. And God he was so hard, he couldn't remember ever being this hard, what the hell--

But strangely, you didn't immediately resume from where you had left off. Instead, you put your arms around his neck and actually rested your forehead against his own, bumping his hat upwards.

Jack swallowed roughly, confused.

"Let me take this from you." You whispered. Whiskey felt pinned by your stare, he felt as if you could see every terrible thing he had ever done, every transgression laid bare under the weight of your gaze. "Let go of it. I have you. I won't let anything happen to you."

The words washed over him, soft and sweet. Your fingers slipped up into the hair at the nape of his neck to toy with the mussed ends that lurked there. The whole exchange was oddly intimate and Jack found himself at a loss yet again, simply grating out, "sixth," when he couldn't come up with anything else to say.

You reached down and stroked his cock, rubbing the head of it against your clit. And Jesus he could feel you, the difference in heat, the slick--

"Are you gonna' take it from me, sweet girl?" He hissed through his teeth like it wounded him to ask, trying desperately to cling to the illusion that he wasn't willing. "Take everythin' I've got?"

The blur between reality and this playdate was getting messier by the second. He wanted to fuck you, wanted to bury himself in you, spend every last drop inside the hot embrace of your quivering cunt. He wanted that. Jesus Christ, this wasn't part of the bargain.

This was a pantomime, specially designed pornography that existed only to coax a very specific reaction from his confused body. So why did he wish he had met you years ago? Why was he suddenly hoping and praying that the sounds you were making were legitimate instead of exclusively for his benefit, hoping that you were also enjoying this?

You angled your hips and sank back down on his lap, your hands going to your breasts where you proceeded to fondle and tease them until your nipples looked like they ached.

Whiskey fucking ached himself to wrap his lips around one pert little peak, swirl his tongue across the tip and make you come undone, rut his dick up into you until you cried out his name and soaked him--

Whoa cowboy, he chastised himself, a little startled by how sharp the longing was. You just kept fucking yourself on his cock, that hot, wet little pussy molded perfectly to every ridge of his member and he had never been this hard, this ready in his life. Despite the air conditioning in the cabin, your skin shone with sweat from all the work you were putting in and Whiskey couldn't recall a time where he had been more appreciative of someone else accomplishing a task within his field of vision.

Your hand slipped down, down, and Jack found himself following the trajectory until it delved between your legs and you started playing with yourself. "Jack," you crooned his name and it was like a prayer, reverent and soft, tender enough to coil itself around his lungs and choke him to death without a whisper of protest. You parted your legs even wider in his lap, exposing yourself to him so he could watch his cock slide in and out of you, so he could see himself fucking you open.

"Are you gonna' come for me, sweet girl?" He gasped, craning his neck and managing to tilt his head so he could mutter into your ear, "you just gonna' wrench one out for me, beautiful?"

"Mm, no, I'm not coming until after you come." You whimpered, still moving your hand. "But I'm so close, Jack. I want to come."

Your plaintive whine had him ablaze. God, he had never wanted to please someone so damn badly in his life. "I know you do, sweet girl." He murmured huskily, exhaling hot over the shell of your ear and loving the way you quivered in his lap. "You're so good, lettin' me blow my load before you get off--gonna' pump me dry when you come, aren't you? Just keep me inside you until that little pussy is all fucked out," he growled, barely aware of the words that tumbled from his mouth.

All he knew is that you were all a-tremble at his voice, your body as hot as late July against his chest, your eyes heavy with adoration that he did not deserve and God, he couldn't get used to that look even if it was fake. What if you stayed? he wondered absently. What if you stayed?

Oh fuck, he was about to come. Panic jabbed like the blade of a knife between his shoulder blades and Whiskey went silent, his teeth bearing down on his lower lip and his eyes slamming shut as he focused harder than he ever had in his life.

The smell of you, the sounds, the heat, the little spasms of your cunt around his cock…

Yes. Yes, God yes, he could do this--

"Come in me, sweetheart." Begging him, pleading, demanding, "Jack-!" You cried his name.

Whiskey groaned hoarsely, so low it was almost painful, and let go. He bucked his hips up against you as best as he could, minute little thrusts while he came harder than he had in years. "Oh," he snarled, gritting his teeth, "fuckin' Christ woman, I think you've ruined me, Jesus fuck."

Your hands threaded through the hair at the nape of his neck again and you held him, not tightly, but just enough to keep him steady, anchored. "There," you said abruptly, the snide, put-upon tone of your role contrasting wildly with the gentleness of your touch, "was that so difficult?"

Jack burst out laughing, not overly concerned with how strange of a reaction that was. Hell, was he relieved? "Jesus fuckin' Christ, you're great." He remarked breathlessly. "I don't even know what just happened."

"Oh?" You replied, raising an eyebrow. "The mess between my legs seems to allude to you possibly having an orgasm. Jury's still out though."

He grimaced apologetically, glancing down. "Sorry darlin'. It's been a while, y'know?" You rose up off of him again and he grunted as his cock slipped free from your body. Whiskey felt half-drunk, relief and release combining into a potent cocktail that left him boneless in the chair.

You quickly put your shirt back on and then crouched at his feet, beginning the arduous process of untying him. Jack just sat there, watching you drowsily. He couldn't do much else, really. "Any numbness or chafing?" You asked quietly, stirring him momentarily from his daze.

"Nah, nothin' yet." He replied, straightening his freed left leg and rotating his ankle in his boot. "A little stiff, but I've survived worse than that."

"And how do you feel?" You questioned, "physically and emotionally."

Jack gnawed at his lower lip, trying to force his sluggish brain past the haze of serotonin in order to give you a satisfactory answer. "...good." He said finally, scrambling to elaborate, "or uh, better, I guess. More okay than I've been in a fuckin' while." It wasn't a lie, he was surprised to discover. He hadn't actually put much stock into this endeavor, figuring it would be a fun little diversion that would end just like every other time. Of course, it didn't hurt that you were easy on the eyes, prettier than a peach if he was being honest with himself.

Your smile was bright and Jack's stomach knotted confusingly. "I'm glad."

His right leg was released and he shifted his weight in the seat, groaning happily when his hip popped. "Hey, wait." The agent belatedly realized, "you didn't-?"

"We were here for you." You reminded him. "Not me."

"Whoa now, that don't seem fair at all!" Whiskey protested, taken aback by your nonchalance. "You just put in all the work!"

Your laugh tripped down his spine like an aftershock. "Don't get bent out of shape! It's standard policy, Mr. Whiskey. Once the desired result of the scene has been acquired, the scene ends and I start with aftercare."

"B-But--you didn't get to get off though!"

"Me 'getting off' wasn't specified in our planning."

"I needed to specify that shit?! I figured you'd just kinda'..." His right arm was free now and Jack seized the opportunity to make a certain gesture, raising his eyebrows. "I mean, I was at your mercy!" He continued, bewildered. "You totally coulda' just kept goin'-"

"Yes, and that's exactly why when the desired result has been achieved, the scene ends." You interjected firmly. "Because you trusted me enough to let me take control, and I'm not about to break that trust by doing something selfish on a whim."

Jack exhaled hard, scooting his hat a little further back on his head so he could study you. You didn't look disappointed, or annoyed with him. He wondered how many times you had fielded ignorant questions like his own and he cringed at himself. "I'm...shit, I'm sorry. I don't have any right to be all shitty about it." He apologized as you moved out of his field of view to untie the rope securing him to the back of the chair. "I just feel like you worked so hard an' got nothin' out of your end of the bargain."

"It's sweet of you to be concerned about that, but don't take it personally, okay?" You assured him, "I do this because I enjoy it. The whole experience, not just the finale." The ropes around his chest sagged and Jack slid forward a bit in the seat, relaxing.

"Can I get that water again? Christ, I need a cigarette and a tumbler of the strong stuff after all that." He joked, clumsily tucking his cock back into his boxers. You pressed the bottle to his hands and he nearly dropped it, chuckling self-consciously. "Whups, sorry. I had my fists all bunched up so my fingers are stiff." Jack proceeded to down the rest of the bottle, wiping his mouth and mustache with the back of his hand after the fact. "So...what exactly is it you do for Tequila?" He queried nosily.

You laughed at him and God, God he loved the sound of your laugh. "That, Mr. Whiskey, is on a need-to-know basis. Just like this little soiree between the two of us." You chided, your eyes bright with good humor. "I would never violate a partner's trust in me."

Jack tipped the bottle in your direction, as if making a toast. "I'll drink to that, partner. What's next on the menu?"

"We'll talk out the scene and wind back down. Get cleaned up. I'll probably…" you paused, squinting at the clock over the sink. "You want some pizza? There's a joint not far from here that serves pies and chicken wings until midnight."

Jack groaned appreciatively, "I knew you were my kinda' gal. Lead the way to the debrief, ma'am."

It didn't really matter in the long run, he supposed. You obviously weren't interested in anything serious (if only because he figured that your flings with the stereotypical 'bad boy' Tequila would have become more regular in spite of the younger man's painful crush on Ginger Ale), and he could respect that. Still though, he couldn't help feeling a touch morose over the possibility of never engaging with you again.

He toyed with the idea of asking you for another 'appointment', but dismissed the thought almost as quickly as it arrived. Better to quit while he was ahead.

Or rather, he amended ruefully as he settled down across from you in the diner booth, his hair still damp and curling slightly beneath his hat from the quick wash he had indulged in at your cabin, better to quit now before I make even more of a fool of myself.

Part Two

#jack daniels #jack daniels x reader #agent whiskey #agent whiskey x reader #kingsman: the golden circle #Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal character #agent whiskey imagine #consensual noncon #whew where did this come from #enjoy!#working things out

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hanemiso · 3 years

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nice to see you again today

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most?

🍰- strawberry or vanilla?

🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days?

🎶- favorite song right now?

💘- 3 ways to win your heart?

🕊️- 3 habits you have?

🦄- how do you perceive yourself?

🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys

⛅- what is your morning routine?

also this is unrelated but im doing smth so can u pls pick a number from 1-48? thank you! ^^

hello hello!! :)

✨: i relate the most to,,,hmm that’s a hard question,,,probably atsushi or reki honestly :) we don’t gotta analyze that too much-

🍰: honestly depends on the food, like if it’s a shake then strawberry, but if it’s cake then vanilla

🌧: i describe it to every moot i’ve ever sent the song “simple season” by hippo campus or “weather” by ginger root to lol but, i love sitting inside a warm house and watching the rain fall from the grey clouds outside with a nice cup of hot chocolate or coffee :) it also rarely rains in california so if it does rain and i’m outside, dancing in the rain is nice hehe

🎶: ANOTHER SONG YAY :D i really love listening to “space cadet” by the technicolors, it’s very relaxing and pleasing to my ears hehe

💘: honestly… idk LMAO, probably indulging in my random rants about something i’m excited about, like if i know that you were actually listening to me go on and on about this certain thing, i will take your hand in marriage. the second one might be adding to my banter; i say outta pocket shit and worry if it makes people just simply think i’m weird and shrug me off, so if you add to my banter at like the same level as me i will love you forever. also anytime you send me a picture, song, text, etc. or buy something and you say it’s because “it reminded me of you,” i will melt into a puddle on the spot and now you have bun forever :3

🕊: oh boy LMAO, welllll i crack my knuckles, fingers, thumbs, wrists, knees, ankles, back, and neck whenever i get the chance. it mostly occurs when i’m anxious or uncomfortable, i’ll continue trying to crack them even if i just did like a minute ago. when i’m stressed i pull at my eyelashes (ITS WEIRD I KNOW I’M SORRY YOU ASKED). the last thing i do,,,i run my hand through my hair a lot when i’m nervous to “fix it.”

🦄: this is about to become insecurity central beware— i perceive myself as an annoying nobody. the weird kid in class who remains quiet, and only speaks when spoken to. i worry i’m too weird for people to deal with, but i’m happy you guys like me :) i’m a nobody though, like there’s nothing special about me for people to take notice of. i’m a background character in someone else’s story, but i’ll make the most out of it ig. anyway 😅 next question-

🌈: my mind immediately went in the gutter i’m so sorry— clean version!! i’m attracted to personality mainly in either gender, if they have a good sense of humor, are kind, and actually make me feel wanted then i become a starry eyed child. it’s great if we share similar interests too hehe. physically, i like piercings on either gender, they’re just appealing to my eyes. a contagious smile and laugh are attractive to me too. can’t forget the most important one: good music taste :D

⛅️: i don’t have one anymore 🧍i’m gonna be completely honest, because of online classes, my morning routine has just become waking up, checking my notifications until 5 minutes before class, then sitting in my computer chair and waiting til the last minute to join the class. that’s it 😬 i had a better one in high school-

for the number uhhhhh i pick 36!!! one of my fav numbers :D

emoji ask game!!

#[👾] ask game!!#these were fun to answer lol #kinda went off on a few of them #we can ignore the unicorn one-

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unhingeddumbass · 4 years

Text

Ben, Kevin and Gwen answer random questions:

DISCLAIMERS: THE QUESTIONS AREN’T MINE, I FOUND THEM IN ANOTHER POST, CREDITS TO OP. I FOUND THEIR BIRTHDAYS IN BEN 10 WIKI, THE CANDLES WERE MADE WITH A BUZZFEED QUIZ AND I’LL PRETEND KEVIN’S DAD WASN’T A FAKE MEMORY, HE WAS REAL, BECAUSE IT WORKS FOR ANSWERING SOME QUESTIONS. I TRIED TO DO THIS BASED ON THE TRIO’S PERSONALITY LIKE THE SHOW AND BEN’S SINGLE BECAUSE I DON’T WANT ANY BEEF AND BECAUSE EVERYONE SHIPS DIFFERENT PEOPLE WITH BEN.

😷Where or with who are you spending quarantine?

Gwen: I’m staying with Kevin at his mom’s house.

Kevin: What she said lol

Ben: At home with my folks, since Grandpa Max is a risk patient, he’s staying at Galvan Prime with Azmuth.

✊🏾What’s your position with the current racism tragedy? Are you getting involved in any way?

Gwen: I’m horrified. I can’t believe we’ve come to such high levels of intolerance and hate and that the government just adds more violence instead of trying to change the situation peacefully. I’ve been getting informed and learning, doing videos teaching people about racism, posted them on my social media so I can try and teach people more. I’m claustrophobic so I don’t go to protests, but I’m supporting from home.

Kevin: I’m fucking angry. I’ve been at the protests with Ben and we’re trying our best to keep people safe. I’m also working on a piece of tech to cover tear gas before it blows and some bulletproof stuff.

Ben: Like Kevin said, we’ve been on the front with protesters providing help and keeping everyone as safe as possible. Our parents are donating and we’re trying to get the Plumber’s help too, but they said it’s not their jurisdiction. Either way we’re doing our best and we’ll always stand with justice, peace and equality for everyone.

🐰- do you believe in soul mates?

Gwen: Yaaaas, it’s so romantic!

Kevin: Uh.. *Looks at Gwen* Only if it’s her.

Ben: Dafuk’s a soulmate?

💌- diary or journal?

Gwen: A mix between both, I love scrapbooking.

Kevin: Das some soft shit bro *He secretly hides a journal but he’ll never admit*

Ben: Why wasting paper? It’s better to keep everything on the Cloud

💕- are you crushing on someone?

Gwen: Hmm… Patch Cipriano *Kevin glares at her* JUST KIDDING, only you.

Kevin: This babe right here *Grabs Gwen’s waist and kisses her forehead*

Ben: *Simping* Jennifer Lawrence, Selena Gomez… there’s too many

💋- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain?

Gwen: A rainy autumn day *Daydreams*

Kevin: Three words: Dark. Backseat. Lake *Smirks and winks at Gwen*

Ben: *Cringes for the Gwevin moment* Anywhere I guess.

🍼- what is your favorite memory?

Gwen: Fishing with Grandpa Max and my first karate tournament

Kevin: Buying my car xD

Ben: THAT ICONIC summer vacation, hell yeah

🌸- what is your favorite flower?

Gwen: Yellow roses, ofc.

Kevin: Weed *Gwen elbows him in the chest*

Ben: None, tho I kinda like sunflowers

💖- have you ever been in love?

Gwen: *Looks at Kevin and smiles*, yes.

Kevin: *Starts singing I’m in Love With My Car by Queen, Gwen glaring at him* Ofc I love you babe, I’m kidding.

Ben: My love belongs to Mr Smoothies

🍰- strawberry or vanilla?

Gwen: Both! Also love coconut.

Kevin: Those are some lame ass flavours, I rather chocolate or blueberries.

Ben: As long as it can be made into a smoothie, I’ll love it.

🍯- describe your favorite smell

Gwen: A new book and a autumn scented candle

Kevin: Gasoline and... *blushes*... Gwen’s shampoo.

Ben: Pickles and chili fries, duuuh.

🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be?

Gwen: An infinite supply of books, making high education to be accessible to everybody and to reverse the damages the human race has made to the environment.

Kevin: My car to be completely indestructible, free food forever not only for me but to everybody and…*whispering* getting to see my dad at least one last time.

Ben: Infinite chilli fries and smoothies, to stop racism, misogyny and homophobia, and Grandpa Max to be around for a lot of more years.

🍪- cookie dough or cookies?

Gwen: Freshly baked cookies!

Kevin and Ben: *Screaming* Cookie dough! Salmonella won’t ever stop us!

☕- coffee or tea?

Gwen: Coffee in the winter or at college, tea for relaxing.

Kevin: Bring me the strongest coffee! *Slams fists on table*

Ben: F U C K I N’ S M O O T H I E S

🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies?

Gwen: I can’t choose, I’d love both.

Kevin and Ben: *Smirking with pervert thoughts* MERMAIDS!

🍂- what’s your middle name?

Gwen: Catherine, but I rather being called Gwendolyn instead.

Kevin: Ethan, but dare to call me that and I’ll yeet you into oblivion.

Ben: Kirby, COULDN’T BE ANY MORE CRINGEEEEEE?

💫- what is your zodiac sign?

Gwen: Cancer (14th July)

Kevin: Scorpio (4th November)

Ben: Capricorn (27th December)

🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days?

Gwen: Read, drink tea and listen to calm music.

Kevin: Either I sleep all day or I’ll go to Gwen’s house.

Ben: Eat, sleep, TV, and rave repeat.

🍭- how tall are you?

Gwen: 5’6

Kevin: 6’3

Ben: 5’10

💒- which show would you want to live in?

Gwen: The Vampire Diaries or Friends.

Kevin: Law & Order *Screams DUN DUN*

Ben: Summo Slammers!

🎄- what is your favorite holiday?

Gwen: Thanksgiving, because of the family reunion.

Kevin: Saint Patrick’s Day, cuz I have an excuse to get fucking drunk and party

Ben: Christmas! Good food and gifts heck yeah

🍦- what scented candle is your favorite?

Gwen: Warm Vanilla Cookie or Pumpkin Spice.

Kevin: Enchanted Pine

Ben: Citrus Mint

🎶- favorite song right now?

Gwen: Sit Still, Look Pretty by Daya

Kevin: I’m In Love With My Car by Roger Taylor (Queen)

Ben: Human by Cher Lloyd or Game Over by Falling In Reverse

💘- 3 ways to win your heart?

Gwen: Don’t be a dickhead, be supportive, be funny.

Kevin: Respect my space, be brave and plz don’t hate my car

Ben: Be playful, funny and patient of my lifestyle which is very hard

🍩- current mood?

Gwen: Normal, concerned about the pandemic and missing my bff

Kevin: Meh, I don’t go out as often anyway

Ben: I WANNA GO OUT, I HATE QUARANTINE

❄️- what is your favorite season?

Gwen: I like summer but I love autumn

Kevin: I don’t actually mind

Ben: SUMMEEEEEEER

💍- your current relationship status?

Gwen and Kevin: Taken! *Kiss*

Ben: *Gags and glares at the happy couple* single and enjoying my peaceful life.

🕊️- 3 habits you have?

Gwen: Organizing my books by height, having always my room clean and never leave my house without my earphones

Kevin: The volume on the tv has to be in an even number, my car has to be always well maintained and my phone is mostly on silent or vibration mode.

Ben: Never spend a day without a smoothie, text Grandpa at least once a day or two, and collecting stuff I like.

🦄- how do you perceive yourself?

Gwen: Hardworking, introverted and intellectual

Kevin: I’ve got some roguish charm *smirks* and a little soft sometimes

Ben: Quirky, loud and funny.

🦋- how do you think others perceive you?

Gwen: Some call me golden child or goody two shoes. Probably teacher’s pet too.

Kevin: *Points at Ben* well, he thinks I’m strange and dangerous, so I guess other people think that too, maybe also an asshole.

Ben: A couple people think I’m an egocentric pain in the ass.

🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys

Gwen: Physical appearance isn’t important, but I love smiles. I like a person who I can be myself with and is honest always.

Kevin: If a girl is fearless, strong and independent I become a simp for her tbh *Looks at Gwen* That’s how you got me at your feet babe.

Ben: I really like someone supportive and understanding, also bonus points if they’re not that serious, I want to joke around.

🍓- one secret about yourself

Gwen: I tend to be a people pleaser and I struggle with standing up for myself around my parents.

Kevin: I’m a sucker for my mom’s food and I’m actually sensible around the people I care the most about.

Ben: I’m not as careless and cocky as I pretend to be. Also I secretly love Lady Gaga’s music.

🎥- what show are you currently binging on?

Gwen: Gossip Girl, bakery shows and Stranger Things

Kevin: CSI and Law & Order, also Pimp My Ride cuz hell yeah old MTV shows

Ben: I mostly watch Summo Slammers but I also like Rick and Morty, Big Mouth and Stranger Things.

💗- who do you miss?

Gwen: My family and my best friend, Emily.

Kevin: ...my dad.

Ben: Grandpa Max, no cap.

🥀- last time you cried?

Gwen: The other day, while we watched A Dog’s Purpose 1 and 2.

Kevin: I don’t wanna talk about that soft shit

Ben: I had a very lucid nightmare the other day and woke up crying

🔪- scariest/creepiest experience?

All of them: Coming back from death in Legerdomain

#ben 10 #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 omniverse #gwen tennyson #ben tennyson #kevin levin

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whenallelsefails-eatpie · 3 years

Text

Finally Answering Questions for y’all

Q1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

I used to wish I was taller because I already am tall for an (AGAB)female (5′8 1/2) but then I learned about platforms so.

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

Monkey Ball or Sonic Adventure Escape the City...I only had a Gamecube.

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

Warning: Uses humor as a defense mechanism but will quickly become extremely invested in you and give you immense amounts of unending love if they vibe w you

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

Melancholic

9: Are you ticklish?

extremely, on my back and sides (use this information wisely. I take no responsibility for involuntarily punching anyone who tickles me)

10: Are you allergic to anything?

absolutely nothing, allergies are to weed out the weak. (jkjk no eugenics here sis you slay that epipen)

11: What’s your sexuality?

~ pansexual ~ (prefer agab [not cis, those are two different things] females)

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

tea, then coffee with cocoa. I don’t enjoy cocoa or coffee as much separately.

37: What is your eye color?

hazel/green

38: Introvert or extrovert?

I’m ambiverted but lean toward introversion.

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

oh yeah absolutely, I personally just prefer that the tattoos aren’t on your face. Or with piercings that they don’t take up so much of your face that I can’t see what you really look like.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

pink, red, or platinum 56: Something that calms you down?

reading, playing instruments, taking a bath, cooking or baking

57: Have any mental disorders?

yessir. ADD, anxiety. and I used to have really bad depression. Now my depression is simply manageable lol.

73: What is your MBTI type?

INFP (enneagram 4)

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

surprisingly yes, will I come close to passing out? Maybe. But I can.

87: Do your socks always match?

never, I hate matching my socks unless the socks are funky and need to match to give them the biggest bang for their buck.

92: A store you hate?

Dick’s sporting goods. I have been dragged around that place for hours and absolutely nothing there interests me. (edit: I found a beanie that I liked but my previous opinion still stands)

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

start counting and never stop. If you mean in terms of actual measurements like cups/ounces, I can drink 20. What can I say I’m from New England.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

Definitely fly because that might help lessen my fear of heights

95: Do you like to wear camo?

literally shoot me if you ever see me wearing camo. please, I beg you. that will be me at my lowest point

96: Winter or summer?

Autumn. Next question.

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

3-4 minutes. It’s all that breath control from musical theatre.

99: Someone you look up to:

Jughead Jones. Yes I said that, fight me. He is completely himself and he allows the different facets of his personality to shine through to people that he loves and cares about. He is loyal and caring but also unique and resilient. Plus his fave food is burgers which is an instant win for me.

100: A store you love?

Hot Topic, Barnes and Nobles, Savers or any thriftstore

102: Where do you live?

New England bb (; gettin that dark academia aesthetic straight from the source

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

Amber

105: Do you drink milk?

You mean out of the glass? Like a psychopath? Like a serial killer? Absolutely not

106: Do you like bugs?

I do! Except for spiders and mosquitoes (although I’m warming up to spiders)

109: Can you draw:

Eh yeah ig, well enough. I draw realistically but I’m not great at animated style.

111: A question you hate being asked?

“Are you a boy or a girl?” (like why? does it personally affect you? are you planning on boning me? if not then buzz off)

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

Yes, but only at night when the beach is quiet. I’m not a huge fan of the beach during the day

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

Rainy or sunny. Don’t go givin me the clouds with none of the drizzle.

119: Favorite thing about a person:

Personality first and foremost. Humor and kindness. But physically; their smile and mannerisms.

120: Fruits or vegetables?

Veggies (or berries i like berries)

121: Something you want to do right now:

Run away... ahah. But in all honesty I would love to go mushroom foraging rn, or possibly go on an adventure. Maybe go put on clothing meant for an entirely different time period and run around Target idk.

123: Sweet or sour foods?

Definitely not sour I hate sour. Spoonfeed me wasabi, that I can handle. But if you make me eat a Warheads I will cry.

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

I personally have a lot of problems with the funeral industry, so I would rather not take up space and rot preservation chemicals into the earth. But if I had an interim tombstone with no body underneath, it would read “Live Laugh Love” bc ~irony~

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

that I’m very individualistic and stubborn

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

Yes absolutely, that’s what they’re there for.

134: Do you like roller coasters?

Do I like feeling like I’m about to full send through the crust of the earth and die? No. No I do not. (I am a simple person, I go to carnivals for the food and to feed off terror.) 139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

OH YEAH absolutely, I am a repressed gen z homosexual raised in a homophobic religious atmosphere, I am practically born with a therapist assigned to me.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

Definitely good -_- unfortunately. Catch me bein the mom friend.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

I prefer giving, but I am learning how to recieve.

144: What makes you angry

People who live their lives in willful ignorance despite the endless resources available to them and let that ignorance hurt others.

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

All of em. Gimme em all. I don’t like boys as much currently but I would still probably lay my life on the line for some.

147: Are you androgynous?

Yes. It’s more fluid than it is being in consistent limbo between masc and femme. Usually I’m androgynous but I often swing wildly between both ends of that socially perceived spectrum. 148: Favorite thing about yourself physically?

My hands or smile(product of bracesTM). But I have been told I have nice hands.

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

I am a very strong blend of wise and class clown. I can do em both, I can do em well, and I can do em whenever. I also care a lot about others but I don’t change myself to be accepted by them.

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

MLK Jr. --> I want to gain perspective on some of the current global issues. Jesus --> I’ve got a lot of questions for that dude. JRR Tolkien bc he’s incredible or Joan of Arc for the same reason

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

Ooh well, as a woman not many eras are desirable. But um probably either the 70s or Ancient Greece

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

YES. GIMME UR FINGERS > i meant that to sound much less threatening than it did but my statement still stands. 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

Yes it’s literally one of my favorite things to do. I hab empty lap. *pat pat* U may lay your head on it and watch Rilakkuma and Kaoru with me while I play with your hair. pls. 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

Women..... That’s it. That’s the tweet.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

That I am not a member of the alphabet mafia. (It’s not currently safe for me to come out) Now tell me *shines light in your face* who are your contacts?

164: Do you have long or short hair?

I have medium hair. It’s around the length of a bisexual bob or a good mullet.

165: Shortest/Longest your hair has ever been:

Shortest was a pixie cut, almost buzzed, amazing. Longest was to my butt and was literally the worst experience in existence. I shall to this day actively rebel against having hair like that again.

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion?

Organized religion can suck it. You can’t organize your relationship with God, nor can you stick it into a little manmade box and pretend that you have the ability to create a perfect faith which others have to either follow or perish. It’s arrogant and damaging and hurtful and not at all what Christianity is supposed to mean.

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

I do. I think it’s important and something we need to think about. I do believe there is something after death, and I like to believe that my life has meaning. I think that questions of creation are important questions to ask and we can’t just ignore them.

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

Yes! It’s fun! Pretty colors!

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

Absolutely. And the ones I didn’t feel like answering I simply omitted.

#chaotic good #Q&A #I learned more about myself writing this #than you probably did reading it #pls feel free to continue asking questions #i probably have too many answers #i heard oversharing on the internet is #cool

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kawaii-puncher · 4 years

Text

Character Chart

Character’s full name: Vera Ward/Draoskithe

Reason or meaning of name: Ward because she's an orphan and thats the last name they get, Draoskithe is her family name but she doesnt know that

Character’s nickname: Sparkles

Reason for nickname: She likes sparkles

Birth date: Nov. 9th

Physical appearance

Age: 23

How old does he/she appear: 23 but she probably looks 18

Weight: 156

Height: 5'7"

Body build: Fierce

Shape of face: I don't know enough about human anatomy

Eye color: Light Blue

Glasses or contacts: Nah she can see it all, 20/20

Skin tone: Pasety Sour Cream Child

Distinguishing marks: Birthmarks on her back that look like scars

Predominant features: Beautiful

Hair color: Pink

Type of hair: Soft, Long, and wavey

Hairstyle: That half up hairstyle but mostly down

Voice: uuuuuuhhhhhhhh

Overall attractiveness: 10/10, professional at the smolder

Physical disabilities: Super Clutzy and a Bad Ankle

Usual fashion of dress: Fancy

Favorite outfit: A turtle neck, cute skirt, leggings and cute shoes

Jewelry or accessories: Always wears a pair of black cross earrings

Personality

Good personality traits: Super kind and wnats to help everyone

Bad personality traits: Stubborn af

Mood character is most often in: Idk how to explain the mood, basically when youre in the whiney "whhhhhhhy" mood

Sense of humor: Cheesey Jokes

Character’s greatest joy in life: Dazzling the Room

Character’s greatest fear: Silence and complete darkness

Why?

Its creepy and unsettling

What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil?

Death Probably

Character is most at ease when: Spa Days or playing video games

Most ill at ease when: Someone is belittling her or treating her like she's an idiot

Enraged when: She thinks she did something great and is really proud and someone is like "well its not that great"

Depressed or sad when: Toy Story 3

Priorities: School/Education are at the top

Life philosophy: "Fuck it"

If granted one wish, it would be: To see a real life unicorn

Why?

Have you seen unicorns???

Character’s soft spot: She almost cried when looking at some kittens once

Is this soft spot obvious to others? No because shes allergic to a lot of animals (not all) so she stays away from them

Greatest strength: Thumb War and great at Lying

Greatest vulnerability or weakness: Parent Issues cause orphan

Biggest regret: Letting someone get close enough to her to break her heart and hurt her that badly, only she's allowed to put herself through that much pain

Minor regret: Saying yes to paying extra for rum in her milkshake on her 21st birthday

Biggest accomplishment: Not punching someone she really wanted to punch and just walking away. Also getting on the deans list

Minor accomplishment: Submitted art to a competition and heard some little old ladies talk about how much they loved her piece

Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: Didn't know Reindeer were real until Highschool. Always thought they were made up like Santa. Also didn't know that you weren't supposed to eat mango skin the first time she had a mango, got weird looks

Why? Not street smart

Character’s darkest secret: She wishes she could just act out and destroy and break a bunch of stuff but she always feels like she needs to be on her best behavior

Does anyone else know?

No, its a secret

Goals

Drives and motivations: To be successful in life

Immediate goals: Good grades in school

Long term goals: Have a private lake and drink wine all day, relaxed

How the character plans to accomplish these goals: Work Hard

How other characters will be affected: she doesnt hang out all the time and puts school above everything

Past

Hometown: Seattle

Type of childhood: Grew up in a catholic orphanage

Pets: None

First memory: Crying because she tripped and a nun gave her candy and told her to keep it a secret between them

Most important childhood memory: Being told that she was still in the orphange not because no families wanted her but because the lord knew she was already with the family that would love her the most (it was nuns that told her that)

Why: Made her feel wanted

Childhood hero: She-ra

Dream job: To be a Journalist

Education: Highschool Grad, working on a bachelor's in college

Religion: Catholic but super chill about it

Finances: Not even enough for a chicken nugget

Present

Current location: Devildom

Currently living with: The Brothers

Pets: Does Mammon count?

Religion: Still catholic but now with a lot of Jesus puns

Occupation: Student

Finances: Still not enough for a chicken nugget

Family

Mother: Unknown to her but the name is Alice Draoskithe

Relationship with her: none

Father: Unknown to her but his name is Quincy Jameson

Relationship with him: None

Siblings: Half Brother on fathers side named Quincy Jr.

Relationship with them: None/ Jealousy later on

Spouse: None

Relationship with him/her: it would probably be good

Children: She accidentally killed a bamboo plants she cant be trusted with kids

Other important family members: Not family family but she grew up with 4 other orphans that were her best friends and Sister Helen was her favorite nun

Favorites

Color: Baby Blue and Gold

Least favorite color: Orange

Music: Legit all kinds but mostly a fan or Alternative Rock

Food: Mini Cupcakes are her favorite

Literature: Tess of the d'Urbervilles is her favorite novel, she wears a red bow from time to time because of it

Form of entertainment: Video Games or Drawing

Expressions: Happy? Honestly dont know about this one

Mode of transportation: Walking

Most prized possession: Her cross earrings

Habits

Hobbies: Drawing, reading, games, or gardening but shes really bad at it

Plays a musical instrument? No but she can play twinkle twinkle little star on an organ

Plays a sport? Please no

How he/she would spend a rainy day: Watching the rain and day dreaming

Spending habits: Clothes and Hair brushes

Smokes: nerds in games

Drinks: Wine. A Lot.

Other drugs: Edibles are cool

What does he/she do too much of?

Drinking

What does he/she do too little of?

Relaxing

Extremely skilled at: Organization

Extremely unskilled at: Gardening

Nervous tics: Nervously curls hair around finger or hums

Usual body posture: Confident

Mannerisms: Very Polite

Peculiarities: Always moving her hands and can't sit still, bites her lip a lot

Traits

Optimist or pessimist? Optimist

Introvert or extrovert? Introvert

Daredevil or cautious? Cautious when sober

Logical or emotional? She acts like she's more logical but 100% more emotional

Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Neat freak

Prefers working or relaxing? Working

Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Confident af

Animal lover? Yes

Self-perception

How he/she feels about himself/herself: Doesn't belong wherever she goes but she can act like she does, but deep down she knows she doesn't

One word the character would use to describe self: Hopeful

One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: I'm invited because I'm fun to be around but thats just an act and it's not really me... or is it? I don't know anymore

What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? Second Chances are always accepted

What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? She allows second chances to everyone

What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? Really pretty hair

What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? Dry skin

How does the character think others perceive him/her: they exist

What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: their personality to fit what they think is right

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: Theyre pretty cool

Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? When sober

Person character most hates: Elliot (an ex) and Henry ( the little shit that stole her cookies all the time in the orphange and lied about it but she knows it was him)

Best friend(s): Asmo and Mammon

Love interest(s): Lucifer and Solomon

Person character goes to for advice: Literally anyone, all opinions help her because she has no idea

Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Herself

Person character feels shy or awkward around: Lucifer

Person character openly admires: Lucifer

Person character secretly admires: Solomon

Most important person in character’s life before story starts: No one

After story starts:

I HAVE NO CLUE

Got this from here

#obey me

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aeternallis · 5 years

Text

Rant / Meta Analysis regarding The Untamed’s Ending

Having finally watched the last episode of The Untamed, I just wanted to take some time to sort through my thoughts about the last scenes, and what the production team had wanted to accomplish with it. As I have nothing else better to do on this rainy Sunday evening anyhow, here we go!

Oh! And for anyone who would like to continue reading, please be aware that these thoughts are strictly my opinions and how I understood the ending, so by no means do y’all have to agree with me! ^^

Personally, I found the ending quite satisfying; it didn’t leave much to the imagination that it was indeed a happy ending, and the relieved smile on Wei Wuxian’s face during that last shot was as poetic as it was fitting. The very first shot of him in the first episode of the drama is him looking broken with blood running down his chin, so the juxtaposition with the final shot of him looking healthy and smiling just makes the collective audience’s hearts sigh in content, methinks!

The scriptwriters for this show managed to give WangXian their happy ending without having to step over that line that could have taken the show off the air or kill one of them off, so for that, I’ll eternally be grateful.

I can now honestly say that in terms of Asian drama set in a historical/fantasy setting, this is definitely one of the best, despite the sometimes mediocre acting and frustratingly small budget. ❤️

The Set Up

Perhaps the biggest impression that the ending left on me would be the idea of Lan Wangji as the Chief Cultivator, because it’s one that’s unique to the live action drama. In the novel, they gloss over the political matters after the Guanyin Temple arc, so MXTX left it for interpretation. If memory serves me correctly, I believe Nie Huesang volunteered for the position, but someone please correct me if I’m wrong~

At first, I was a little bit confused as to why the scriptwriters for the show added such an original idea so late in the drama, when they’ve stuck pretty close to the source material throughout the show. But after spinning said idea in my brain for a couple of days, the realization slowly came that it was actually a marvelous and useful plot point for WangXian to get their happy ending! :D

In the novel, it was quite simple for MXTX to give WangXian their happy ending simply for the fact that the characters love and trust each other. They both can’t live without the other person, and after the shit they’ve been through, it’s only natural that they wouldn’t hesitate to take that once in a lifetime second chance to create a life together.

But in the drama, it’s different. The subtext is there, their feelings for one another jumps out of the screen, but no matter what, WangXian is not considered an official couple in the show. This isn’t to say that they aren’t or that the audience feels the same way; their relationship certainly has the development and trajectory of a regular couple had this been a drama with a het pairing as its focal point.

But alas, that’s the reality of censorship.

Ultimately, their ideals (to do what they believe is right, and to do it with their conscience clean) take much more precedence, compared to the novel. That isn’t to say that they place no importance on their feelings, but that this show portrays their morals in the most idealistic way.

In other words, they’re a romantic couple in everything but in name.

All the more reason, I think, that the show runners had to find a way around this roadblock they had no choice but to set themselves up for: without acknowledging the romance and relying on it, what excuse can they come up with to keep these two characters together?

Which brings us back to the live action’s original idea of Lan Wangji as Chief Cultivator.

Chief Cultivators

Before we fully get into the aforementioned topic, let’s first establish how Chief Cultivators are depicted in the drama: two portrayals in which although they seem complete opposites on the surface, are quite similar in nature, as this show has more than once pointed out to the audience.

During the first half of the drama, we have Wen Ruohan and his Wen Sect. As Chief Cultivator, he resided in the Nightless City. The palace is shown to be located on the side of a cliff, surrounded by volcanoes and oozing lava. He was a man mad with power and wanting an endless supply of it; by all means and purposes, Wen Ruohan was just #evil, and the show didn’t hide it. Lol

In contrast during the second half of the drama, the new Chief Cultivator resides in the Golden Koi Tower. The setting is the complete opposite from Nightless City; the skies are blue, the palace looks tranquil and majestic compared to Nightless City’s brutal design. Even so, Jin Guangyao was a man also mad with power and wanted more of it, he just knew how to hide it a lot better and under the guise of a thousand different justifications.

I think what struck me the most about these two portrayals is how cut off they are from the rest of the world (one is literally an ivory tower, lol) and how little both these ex-Chief Cultivators understood the nature of people.

A big part of the Wen Sect’s downfall is that because they were drunk and high on the power they’ve held onto for so long, it didn’t once occur to them that in such isolating circumstances, the smaller sects would eventually come together to rebel. So when it did happen, it was really no wonder the Sunshot Campaign was such a success, because the Wen Sect definitely got the rug pulled out from under them. When the smaller sects have been pushed and bullied around for so long and shared a common enemy, it’s an almost guaranteed hot pot for a successful coup d'état.

For any world leader, both real and fictional, this is common sense.

In that same vein, Jin Guangyao only understood the world through his own personal grievances. His very motivation for power was to avenge himself on everyone who has ever looked down on him and whether it was a big or small slight, it didn’t matter. Regardless, if one had committed a slight against him, he would repay it in full and perhaps a bit more.

So as far as portrayals go, Chief Cultivators aren’t really considered a very good thing in the show. They’re shown as not only power-hungry and manipulative, but more importantly, also isolated and stuck in their ivory towers.

LWJ as Chief Cultivator

And finally, we get to the million-dollar question: would Lan Wangji make for a good and effective Chief Cultivator?

In and of itself, this is a tricky question for me personally, as a fan of this show. On the one hand, my bias towards Lan Wangji says yes, but on the other hand... While I can admit he’d make for a trustworthy Chief Cultivator—meaning, he would know how to work through the technicalities of the job, without relying on shady political dealings and manipulations—understanding the people of their world and how/why they do the things they do would prove to be much more of a challenge for him.

Let’s not forget that although Lan Wangji has a good reputation for his honor and admirable conduct, it’s easy for people to turn against him if they don’t understand his motivation and/or his reasoning. Case in point: during episode 44, a random sect member easily called him out for his association with the Yiling Patriarch. The call out was made through the sect member’s limited view of how she perceived Hanguang-jun’s character through his reputation alone.

It also does not help the fact that Lan Wangji doesn’t really know how to express himself directly. During episode 13 when they’re making their way to the cave to find the Tortoise of Slaughter, Wei Wuxian had to work his way around his friend’s lack of skills when it comes to communicating what he needs (in this case, needing to rest his broken leg, lol). And don’t even get me started on how the man can’t lie to save his life; he’d rather not say anything and uphold his honor, rather than spout lies (mayhaps the only exception to this would be to protect the other person).

As much as it pains me to say it, Lan Wangji’s personality and natural demeanor makes for a great hive of misunderstandings. And this is only in describing his personal relationship with Wei Wuxian; what more on the grand scale of being the Chief Cultivator, when you have to deal with so many more people? T_T

If anything, the show does an incredible job of showing how Lan Wangji comes to understand the people around him when he’s with Wei Wuxian: his understanding of Song Lan’s pain when he lost his own soulmate, the struggle and determination he sees in his own brother when faced with the fact that Jin Guangyao may not be the man he thought he was.

It’s a great contrast to how he was during the time period when Wei Wuxian was “asleep.” Jiang Cheng mentions that Lan Wangji has been traveling all over the world looking for someone, yet isn’t it interesting how in those years of travel, the latter hasn’t made one single human connection outside of the people close to him at home?

While it shows serious dedication to Wei Wuxian and the memory of their history together, it’s not a very helpful backdrop to his new position, imo. In all honestly, it’s safe to say that at this point, Lan Wangji mostly gains his understanding of people through his relationship and connection with Wei Wuxian.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, of course. If anything, it means that his connection to Wei Wuxian is a positive influence on him, and vise versa. Lan Wangji is the type of person who, although he doesn’t care for many people on a personal level, the ones that he does care for are the ones he loves fiercely and is deeply attuned to.

Tbh, the level of detail in this show is astounding when it comes to Lan Wangji and his character. During episode 46 of the golden core reveal, the audience sees mainly Jiang Cheng’s realization of what truly happened all those years ago in real-time. At that point, Jiang Cheng had only begun to realize the cost of not only his, but Wei Wuxian’s pride and honor.

In contrast, Lan Wangji had already fit the puzzle pieces together in his mind; there was no need to show his own flashbacks and moments with Wei Wuxian. Because he already understood and saw for himself the kindness and selflessness that is so deeply ingrained in his beloved, along with the evidence in front of him, there was no reason to doubt Wen Ning’s testimony.

It isn’t until we get to the lake scene though that audience witnesses the crucial realization for Lan Wangji of how...callous and almost naive his initial reaction was to finding out that Wei Wuxian has been practicing demonic cultivation. While in his mind he may have thought at the time that he was interrogating his friend with a clean conscience, I will admit that for a time, the way I (key word here is I, so don’t come at me folks) saw this scene as part of the audience, Lan Wangji was also suspicious of him.

Which is why I believe on episode 33, it was due to this that Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but ask regarding that time period in their life:

In other words, Lan Wangji’s reaction at the time, no matter the fact that he hadn’t known the truth of Wei Wuxian’s golden core yet, wasn’t done with as clean a conscience as he had once thought. It isn’t until he came to learn of Wei Ying‘s true motivation explicitly, that he realizes his own misjudgment of the situation, which I would think is very important as to how he will deal with other people as the Chief Cultivator.

This is also why, although I may have had reservations about this original idea at first, I will say that it makes for a great vehicle in keeping these two characters together all the way to the end. 😆

As the position of Chief Cultivator has been given to one of the Two Jades of Lan, I think it’s reasonable to assume that the seat of centralized power has now shifted to the Gusu Lan Sect. But, as this show has once again shown to the audience, no sect is infallible, not even Gusu Lan, for all their righteousness.

After all, let’s not forget that the Gusu Lan Sect produced Su She and the questionable morals of Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji’s father. Yikes, man...

Even if Gusu Lan is portrayed as an upright sect with many rules and regulations and has the most upright disciples, it’s no less of an ivory tower for Lan Wangji, as the Nightless City had been for Wen Ruohan and the Golden Koi Tower for Jin Guangyao.

And this is why I think in the end, Lan Wangji chose to come back to Wei Ying and travel the world with him, amongst other reasons. 😆 Because as much as Lan Wangji loves Wei Wuxian in the context of this show, he’s also not the type to let go of his responsibility, especially one he chose to accept himself.

It’s much too simple, I think, to say that he became Chief Cultivator for awhile, then once he “settled everything,” he came back to Wei Ying. If anything, this drama reiterates the fact that the world is not always so simple, especially when it comes to the thoughts and feelings of others.

Besides, what would stop the audience from thinking that Lan Wangji became a traveling Chief Cultivator, one who actually makes an effort to get to know people and understand their motivations? Although I will also point out that, in the end, whether or not he gives up the position of Chief Cultivator, it doesn’t necessarily matter.

The point of the matter is, he is a better person at Wei Wuxian’s side, as Wei Wuxian is at his, in order for them to keep and maintain their promise! ^^

And yet furthermore, which better person to travel the world with in order to understand it than Wei Wuxian, the one who arguably knows the most in regards to the nature of people, just because he’d seen firsthand what could be the worst of it? The man who usually has the keenest sense of getting to the bottom of an individual’s motivation, but also knows that sometimes, as he states in episode 43:

After all, in order for Lan Wangji to become an effective Chief Cultivator, in order for him to maintain his promise of protecting the weak and helpless whilst keeping a clear conscience and not make the same mistake as he had done with Wei Wuxian the first time, he needs to learn about the hearts of other people.

A Chief Cultivator stuck in his ivory tower would only repeat the same past mistakes, but a Chief Cultivator who knows the hearts of people and makes the effort to understand them would, I think, make the biggest difference in their world.

#The Untamed #chen qing ling #CQL #meta #meta analysis #wangxian #lan wangji #wei wuxian #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #mdzs meta

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madidraw · 4 years

Note

🌧🦄❄️💅🏽

AWWWW bebe thank you so so so so much ;;;; Love you!!! 🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days? HUUHUHUH, what I like the most? Cuddle, spend time with friends. Rain is not a barrier for me unless it’s really heavy with strong wind.I like to go outside and feel the rain if I have the opportunity to do so. I like later sit at home and just listen to it, read the book, drink something warm. I like play games with my friends during rainy days. Board games, RPG, anything.Usually, I end up just functioning like always, but when I have nothing to do and actually can enjoy the rain, then this is what makes me relax the most and I love to do this. 🦄- how do you perceive yourself? This is a great moment for you to ask me this question honey!Honestly, my whole life I was uh. Welp, low self-esteem is a mild way to put it right. I never cared about myself. I never was important. Everything I did suck, I always could do more, do better, try to reach the stars. Always been exhausted, cuz I never been good enough.But right now I’m way better. I started talking to my friends. You know, not only me-being for them but also talking about me and my problems. I’m more honest. I give myself way more space to make mistakes. To try. To improve. To breathe.I started liking the person I am. Hell thanks to this I even see myself in the mirror differently. Better. Prettier. I love it.So, right now? I am a lot to work with. I am a lot to work on. But I’m seeing myself better. I’m seeing myself as a successful person, who works hard on the things she wants to/need to. I’m seeing myself as someone who don’t like to give up, who is positive to the end of this world. I’m seeing myself as someone who has various paths open for themselves. I’m seeing myself as someone who deserves happiness. No matter the fuck-ups I did in the past. No matter anything. I’m seeing myself as someone I always wanted to be and honestly, this is the best feeling ever. ❄️- what is your favorite season? Spring! I like every season, every one of them has something great in it. But spring? Here’s where my money is c: 💅🏻- do you like being spoiled? Ahhhhhhhh not really xD Well, I’m still working on myself right. So me being spoiled by someone most of the time ends up with ‘I don’t deserve it’ thought train.But I’m changing myself and starting thinking - honestly, I love spoiling people. It makes me happy. So when someone wants to spoil me, it makes them happy too, right? and I kinda just block it. And you know, everyone somewhere deep likes to be at least a little bit spoiled.So, I still have trouble with being spoiled by someone, but nah, I do like it c: It makes me feel important.

#ask answered #ask game #personal

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harposqueaks · 5 years

Note

Do all those Sweet and Pure asks from like 3 months ago

oh good god ok this is gonna be so long tho so hold onto ur hat

🐰 do you believe in soul mates? ~ not at all cos that’d mean i believed in Fate

💌 diary or journal? ~ journal

✨ which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most? ~ maybe like. shawn spencer or something? i don’t really know

💕 are you crushing on someone? ~ oof that’s a Dangerous Business right there an i’m tryna avoid that

💋 kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain? ~ the dark cos rain is wet an slippery an shit

🐝 describe your aesthetic in emojis ~ 🐢🌻🎨🌈

🍼 what is your favorite memory? ~ my mom and i went on a camping trip over the summer and that was pretty great but also literally anything that involves people i love tbh i have too many wonderful memories and also too terrible a memory to be able to pick just one

🌸 what is your favorite flower? ~ sunflowers!!

💖 have you ever been in love? ~ not fr no

🍰 strawberry or vanilla? ~ vanilla

🍯 describe your favorite smell ~ mulled apple cider

🎂 if you had 3 wishes, what would they be? ~ for my parents to have enough money to live comfortably, to travel anywhere for free whenever i want, and like. to meet harpo marx of course

🍪 cookie dough or cookies? ~ ooooh cookie dough

☕ coffee or tea? ~ tea (so long as it’s blueberry)

🍃 would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies? ~ a forest w/ fairies

🍂 what’s your middle name? ~ grey

💫 what is your sun, moon, and rising sign? ~ sagittarius, leo, libra

🌧️ favorite thing to do on rainy days? ~ paint !! or curl up in bed w/ a good book

🍭 how tall are you? ~ 5′5″

💒 which show would you want to live in? ~ galavant honestly

🎄 what is your favorite holiday? ~ christmas or halloween i love both of the Overall Seasons

🍦 what scented candle is your favorite? ~ i mean,, mulled apple cider Obvi

🎶 favorite song right now? ~ minimum by charlie cunningham

💘 3 ways to win your heart? ~ go on spontaneous adventures w/ me no matter how dumb they are, sing loudly and also badly with me, and idk just like ?? show me u care about me and that i matter to u? that’s kinda important

🍩 current mood? ~ sleepy? anxious abt getting through this week?

❄️ what is your favorite season? ~ spring !!

💍 your current relationship status? ~ single

📷 a photo of yourself

💅🏻 do you like being spoiled? ~ i mean who doesn’t yes pls shower me with affection but also don’t cos idk how to accept/be comfortable w/ that

🕊️ 3 habits you have? ~ whistling, scatting as a form of conversation, adding “and a half” to sentences (as in, “that is a mood and a half”)

🦄 how do you perceive yourself? ~ idk as a kind and good-natured/humored individual i guess? i think i am also very in touch with my feelings for the most part and i also have become a more confident person lately so ,, That Too? and also just a fuckin mess of a person but in a good way

🦋 how do you think others perceive you? ~ a goofball but a lovable one it would seem

🌈 things I find attractive in people ~ sense of humor, kind hearts, thoughtful actions, smiles where their eyes get all crinkly, spontaneity, brown eyes, and like. so many other things i love people and i think they’re all so beautiful in so many different ways but i guess those are the things i Notice

🍓 one secret about yourself ~ i honestly don’t have secrets uhm. yeah no i can’t remember anything so like i Probably have an interesting secret but who knows what it is? certainly not Me

🍒 how do you act when you have a crush? ~ Big Dumb lmao uhhh idk ?? i jus like laugh a lot and do stuff for them but that’s true of me with Everyone so i really have no idea

💔 the reason behind your last breakup? ~ i felt suffocated and i did not like that

💬 what your last text message says? ~ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ (i’m not big on texting)

🎥 what show are you currently binging on? ~ not binging per say but i’ve been rewatching parks n rec

⛅ what is your morning routine? ~ wake up, hit snooze at leAst 3 times, drag myself out of bed, shower, brush my teeth, put on clothes, fill my water bottle, pack my bag, an Go

💗 who do you miss? ~ @bitchmoira like sO much always

🥀 last time you cried? ~ hmm it was probably last week but i don’t remember exactly

🎁 when is your birthday? ~ december 7 1998

🔪 scariest/creepiest experience? ~ i was out on the trampoline w friends and a fox screamed somewhere and i fuckin thought my life was over

💤 date someone younger, older, or same age as you? - same age or close to i guess

#neutralonketchup #thanks jack i appreciated this even if it was 3 months too late and also took me like 2 hrs omfg

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sassylavellen · 5 years

Text

“Extremely detailed character sheet template”

original post here

Character Chart

Character’s full name: Evelyn Lavellan (Rutherford) Reason or meaning of name: “desired” Character’s nickname: Evie (common), Ev (Holli, Moira), “Sassy” (Varric) Reason for nickname: Shortened from Evelyn, Varric’s nickname based on her personality. Birth date: 3rd of Guardian (February 3rd)

Physical appearance

Age: (at the time of Inquisition) 27 How old does he/she appear: 22 Weight: 125 lbs (most of it muscle, she’ll have you know) Height: 6ft 2in (188 cm) Body build: tall and slinder Shape of face: pointed Eye color: hazel Glasses or contacts: none Skin tone: pale, but heavily freckled. Distinguishing marks: scar on her forehead above her left eye, vallaslin on her face. Predominant features: large eyes, large ears, and long nose Hair color: Auburn Type of hair: wavy Hairstyle: Various, starts with her hair long and wild, then large messy bun, then gets it cut to shoulder-length, then in ponytail when it starts growing back out, then finally braided up. Voice: loud, thick Starkhaven accent Overall attractiveness: Again, somewhat objective but I’d say Evelyn is a 8.5/10. I mean... those muscles tho Physical disabilities: none Usual fashion of dress: whatever. She’s not known for having consistant or relevant fashions. Favorite outfit: a sleeveless top and leather trousers Jewelry or accessories: Not normally.

Personality

Good personality traits: Caring, determined, selfless Bad personality traits: impatient, can be aggressive if pushed. Mood character is most often in: "what is my life” Sense of humor: a VERY sharp sense of humor, she is famous for her wit Character’s greatest joy in life: her friends Character’s greatest fear: heights Why?: It makes her legs hurt. Also she’s fallen off cliffs a few times. What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? I mean, the conclave exploding changed her life forever. Character is most at ease when: After a mission, relaxing and recovering from an adventure. Most ill at ease when: when put in situations where she has to be completely serious Enraged when: Facing discrimination Depressed or sad when: Thinking of her friends who didn’t live through the events of Inquisition. Priorities: Saving the world. No big deal. Life philosophy: Life’s too short not to enjoy it along the way. If granted one wish, it would be: To have a re-do on her childhood. Why? She had a rough relationship with her father, and even though she doesn’t regret running away from her clan, she does feel guilty that she wasn’t a better daughter. Character’s soft spot: whisky Is this soft spot obvious to others? Not usually. Greatest strength: physical strength Greatest vulnerability or weakness: subtlety Biggest regret: Lots of little things. Minor regret: Living in Kirkwall that one time Biggest accomplishment: Defeating Corypheus Minor accomplishment: Saving the Trevelyan siblings and their family name. (that’s in my fic I’m writing) Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: She messed up a pretty important job once when she was working as a merc in Kirkwall. Why? She messed up pretty royally. Character’s darkest secret: She may be an elf, but there is a part of her deep down that hates being an elf. Does anyone else know? It was more obvious in her youth.

Goals

Drives and motivations: To fix the world. Immediate goals: Probably to go to bed. She hasn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in ages. Long term goals: She doesn’t know anymore, she doesn’t plan that far ahead. How the character plans to accomplish these goals: Again, not much of a planner. How other characters will be affected: She would do her best to make sure other people are affected in the best ways.

Past

Hometown: In a forest in Starkhaven Type of childhood: Very rough, she had a very rocky relationship with her father. Pets: None First memory: building mud castles with another child in her clan. Most important childhood memory: Teaching Moira to walk Why: Her sister is the most important person to her Childhood hero: There was a human named Fredrick Glenn that rescued her from dwarven slavers when she was seven years old. Dream job: A warrior defending her clan (a dream she herself later hated) Education: Mainly self-taught Religion: She was mostly non-religious growing up Finances: Always one coin away from starving

Present

Current location: Skyhold Currently living with: Her husband Cullen Pets: Cullen’s mabari named Thane Religion: Andrastian Occupation: Full Time Mother Finances: Rich

Family

Mother: Neera Relationship with her: Decently close Father: Revan’nain Relationship with him: Extremely rough Siblings: Ezra and Moira Relationship with them: Strained with Ezra, close with Moira Spouse: Cullen Rutherford Relationship with him/her: In many respects, they are the opposites of one another, but they are somehow perfect for one another. Children: Cullen Jr and Holli Relationship with them: She’s the cool mom Other important family members: By the end of Inquisition, she only had Moira left. Moira married Stephen Trevelyan and they had four children, and Evelyn is also the cool aunt.

Favorites

Color: Purple Least favorite color: orange Music: anything upbeat Food: apples Literature: She’s not much of a reader. She more or else had to teach herself to read and it was very difficult for her. Form of entertainment: anything humor related Expressions: “It wasn’t me. Okay, yeah it was me but... I didn’t mean it” Mode of transportation: horseback riding Most prized possession: Her sword, Cullen’s coin

Habits

Hobbies: Making others laugh Plays a musical instrument? Violin and lute Plays a sport? Is fencing a sport? How he/she would spend a rainy day: Doin’ whatever she wants. It’s just rain. Spending habits: Once she became Inquisitor and had money to spend, she started shopping a little frivolously Smokes: No Drinks: Casually. Other drugs: none What does he/she do too much of? tell the same jokes because she still thinks they’re funny. What does he/she do too little of? sleep Extremely skilled at: Swordplay Extremely unskilled at: writing Nervous tics: her ears twitch and she clears her throat often when uneasy. Usual body posture: She is very muscular and isn’t afraid to stand in such a way to make you notice. Mannerisms: She isn’t super expressive with her movements but she has a very expressive face. Peculiarities: Scratching her leg

Traits

Optimist or pessimist? She’s a little cynical. Introvert or extrovert? extrovert Daredevil or cautious? A little of both Logical or emotional? definitely emotional Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? A little of both Prefers working or relaxing? Relaxing Confident or unsure of himself/herself? confident Animal lover? yes

Self-perception

How he/she feels about himself/herself: She always pushes herself to be better One word the character would use to describe self: Brash One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: I became who I am because I had to make myself who I am. If you can’t laugh at yourself, you can’t laugh at anyone else. What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? Her wit What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? Her temper What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? She’d be blunt about it... she’d say her ass. What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? Her large pointy ears How does the character think others perceive him/her: Before being Inquisitor, she would try to hide her elven features because no one would take her seriously. What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: Not so much anymore, but she would have loved to have been anything other than an elf.

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: She used to believe the world was out to get her, but as she grew older and became Inquisitor, she started to learn to trust others. Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others It depends on who she’s with. Person character most hates: Solas. She takes betrayal VERY seriously. Best friend(s): Lace Harding, Dorian, Stephen, Varric, Sera, Cassandra Love interest(s): Only Cullen Person character goes to for advice: She has several friends she will go to for advice, the more obvious ones being Cullen, Leliana, and Josephine, but she will aslo go to Cassandra, Vivienne, Varric, and (betrayed her) Solas for advice Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Moira Person character feels shy or awkward around: She did have a little bit of hero-worship for The Champion of Kirkwall Person character openly admires: Cullen, Leliana, Cassandra Person character secretly admires: Sera Most important person in character’s life before story starts: Herself After story starts: Moira

found here

#Dragon Age #My OCs #Evelyn Lavellan

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amaris-noir · 5 years

Note

All the asks!

It took me a few days but I finally did it! Thanks for asking~

🐰- do you believe in soul mates?

- yea.. I guess

💌- diary or journal?

- In my imagnation diary is nicer (describing experiences, feels and all) but in real life and currently - definitely a journal. I’m trying to keep all important stuff noted, especially little plans for each day so that I can mark them as done (it’s kinda useful and motivational)

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most?

- Bridget Jones lmaooo not but seriously I don’t know

💕- are you crushing on someone?

- nah

💋- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain?

- I think..kissing in the dark

🐝- describe your aesthetic in emojis

- 😏😈👌🌱🌿🥀🌙🌃🖤💮

🍼- what is your favorite memory?

- discovering Paris.. some days there were really memorable

🌸- what is your favorite flower?

- carnations/cloves? rose

💖- have you ever been in love?

- yes

🍰- strawberry or vanilla?

- vanilla?

🍯- describe your favorite smell

- flowery, jasmine, wood smell for perfume I guess? but I like a lot and can never decive, fresh book smell and Japanese green tea smell?

🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be?

have a well-paid job that I like (and that would allow me to travel because that’s one of my dreams~)

stay healthy

find someone I’d have mutual feelings with, could share stuffs and travel. I’ve had someone I really wanted to do this with but it wasn’t mutual and it’s impossible now anyway.

🍪- cookie dough or cookies?

- ahh coookies or ice-cream with cookie dough flavor

☕- coffee or tea?

- definitely tea, green tea like sencha or black tea. I rarely drink coffee.. if I do then it’s cappuccino lol

🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies?

- forest

🍂- what’s your middle name?

- I have none

💫- what is your sun, moon, and rising sign?

Apparently: Sun - Gemini, Moon and rising: Scorpio. Also midheaven in Leo. (I hadn’t really read what it all means… but I just did some reading on Sun and midheaven and well, it’s accurate lol)

🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days?

- watching some TV series/movie, going somewhere like a restaurant to eat and spend time with someone

🍭- how tall are you?

- 173 cm

🎄- what is your favorite holiday?

The ones when we have days off but don’t have to do much

🍦- what scented candle is your favorite?

- flower scents, vanilla, lavender? idk

💘- 3 ways to win your heart?

- be kind, passionate, have some things in common with me? and we could probably be friends~

🍩- current mood?

- I was tired but feeling kinda okay now, sentimental about the past

❄️- what is your favorite season?

- spring/autumn when it doesn’t rain / blow too strongly

💍- your current relationship status?

- single but emotionally complicated

📷- a photo of yourself

- will post it later

💅🏻- do you like being spoiled?

- I doubt I have ever been so I’m not sure. It’d be hard for me to let anyone spoil me without thinking I own them.. I’d have to be really close with someone and also want to spoil them in return hah

🕊️- 3 habits you have?

drinking green tea every morning & early evening

listening to popular music while working out lol

not leaving home without earphones? I guess it’s normal

🦄- how do you perceive yourself?

Most of all I find myself lazy but still I’m not punishing myself or being too hard on myself. I see myself as a lonely a bit alienated person with not many friends but dreams and ambitious goals even tho I’m a bit lost and don’t know what I wanna do in life.

🦋- how do you think others perceive you?

I think people don’t notice me and if they do.. they might think I’m talkative, indecisive, can’t decide on a consistent style hah

🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys

kindness, loyalty, sincerity, ambition/determination

🍓- one secret about yourself

- I don’t think I keep any secrets concerning me.. I’m rather honest and if my friends asked me something about me, I’d tell them so idk if there’s anything I could state here that would be somehow exceptionally revealing lol

🍒- how do you act when you have a crush?

- in real life I’d avoid them and probably admire them from a distance.

💔- the reason behind your last breakup?

💬- what your last text message says?

Danke, gleichfalls!

🎥- what show are you currently binging on?

- mhm.. I have a few going on but the most recent one has been a Chinese drama by Netflix.. the garden of meteors? Kinda silly but I need something light

⛅- what is your morning routine?

- drinking green tea as I mentioned earlier.. obviously skin clean up & treatment before doing makeup. Not so long ago I started to listen to foreign language podcasts in the morning while getting ready~ I don’t have much time to study languages besides refreshing stuffs on language apps so I listen to natives talking so that my brain doesn’t forget or so that it refreshes the vocab a bit.

💗- who do you miss?

- someone I shouldn’t

🥀- last time you cried?

- a few nights ago

🎁- when is your birthday?

- it’s in June. 20th.

🔪- scariest/creepiest experience?

- the last scariest and most intense experience was Hollywood tower in Disneyland haha; also fainting or almost fainting scares me

💤- date someone younger, older, or same age as you?

- I guess rather someone around my age +5/-3 would be best for relational / life experience reasons but tbh it all depends on a person so I wouldn’t look at someone’s age

#personal #facts #info

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hopeful-starship · 5 years

Text

Welcome to the 1st installment of “Chloé finds cool ask lists and answers them despite nobody asking”! This one is courtesy of @bgbygirl, go check them out!

🐰- do you believe in soul mates? Heck yeah i do. I haven’t found mine yet, but he’ll come around. I believe it.

💌- diary or journal? I’d rather journal! I sometimes just write out my feelings on loose paper when i feel bad, but i’ve rarely kept a diary for more than two weeks.

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most? Holy WOW this is difficult. I’m a mix of chunks from a lot of characters, but i feel like i’m the closest to Cath from Fangirl (a wonderful book by Rainbow Rowell, which i highly recommend you check out).

💕- are you crushing on someone? I was literally three days ago (you’ll know if you follow my crush chronicles tag - which you probably don’t because it’s not that interesting), but i’m thankfully getting over it. I love boys and i love crushing, but he wasn’t good for me - at least not in a romantic setting.

💋- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain? I’d say rain. If i’m kissing a boy, i probably find him handsome, and i want to be able to see him.

🐝- describe your aesthetic in emojis I’m on my laptop so i can’t use emojis, but i’d say my aesthetic as a mix of “80s rock dad”, “horny on main” and “pastel cinnamon roll”. It’s a weird mix.

🍼- what is your favorite memory? The 2nd time i met Captain America in Disneyland Paris this summer. I went to shake his hand (because the 1st one did that) and he said “no, i’ll hug you if that’s okay”, and that was THE CUTEST SHIT. I blog a lot about Bohemian Rhapsody at the moment, but i love the Avengers A LOT, and Steve is my favorite, so that was very special.

🌸- what is your favorite flower? Not orchids, surprisingly! I like them, but i like how the word sounds more than i like the flower itself. Is lavender a flower? I’m going to say it is. Lavender is my favorite flower.

💖- have you ever been in love? I’ve said i was in love a couple times in the past, but looking back, i don’t think i was. I was very fond of them, but i don’t think i was -in love-.

🍰- strawberry or vanilla? Strawberry! (Side not: i’m realising i changed a lot over the past few months, because the answer’s been vanilla my whole life)

🍯- describe your favorite smell I have two, and they’re extremely unrelated lol. The first one is speculoos cookies being baked, and the second one is that generic boy perfume smell (my friends say that doesn’t exist and i’m crazy, but i know what i’m talking about and i hope you do too)

🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be? I generally have trouble with this question. The first thing that came to my mind was: i wish i could be sure everyone i love knows i love them, and i wish i wouldn’t constantly doubt they love me back.

🍪- cookie dough or cookies? Cookie dough. Cookie dough always. Any day of the week. I love cookies, but cookie dough is my favorite thing.

☕- coffee or tea? Neither! I don’t like hot drinks!

🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies? I’m fascinated by the ocean, so give me those mermaids any day!

🍂- what’s your middle name? My middle name is Jeanne! It was apparently two of my great-grandmothers’ name.

💫- what is your sun, moon, and rising sign? I had no idea what this meant, so i googled it and apparently my sun sign is Pisces, my moon sign is Taurus and my rising sign is Leo! Which apparently means i’m affectionate and emotional (very true), like to be praised and appreciated (also true), and am even-tempered and calm (not so true).

🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days? I love sitting/lying next to a window and listening to the rain fall while reading or writing!

🍭- how tall are you? I’m 6′2! (188 centimetres) (basically a fuckin giant)

💒- which show would you want to live in? I know the question probably means TV show, but i’m twisting it around and understanding musical, because damn i love theatre. My answer is Mamma Mia. OF COURSE IT IS. I want to spend my days dancing around a greek island and singing Abba songs at handsome dudes. (this might be a later question, but spoiler: Mamma Mia is my favorite movie)

🎄- what is your favorite holiday? Christmas! I fuckin love Christmas! I’m currently sitting in my Christmas pyjamas (yes, on November 17th, leave me alone)

🍦- what scented candle is your favorite? I’ve never had any candles (my mum thinks they’re too dangerous), but i generally like those that smell like cinnamon and apples.

🎶- favorite song right now? You may have noticed i have a bit of an obsession with Bohemian Rhapsody. My current favorite song is It’s Late by Queen, which i discovered when i was extensively researching their discography after seeing the movie. Oh my wooorld, that guitar riff gets me railing.

💘- 3 ways to win your heart? 1) Sing/play any instrument ever 2) Be kind 3) Have a lot of hair The truth is, if you’re a guy and you’re (even remotely) kind and attractive, i’ll fall in love with you, even if it’s for 20 minutes.

🍩- current mood? A bit weird, if i’m honest. I’m generally good, but it feels like the sword of Damocles is hanging over my head and a depressive episode is threatening to drop on me.

❄️- what is your favorite season? This is a difficult question for me, there are things i love and things i dislike about every season! But i’ll say spring, because i can go out without a jacket, but it’s not too warm yet.

💍- your current relationship status? Married to Gwilym Lee (jk lol, i’m single as all hell - someone date me please, i’m so alone)

📷- a photo of yourself

Here, have this picture of me being a Captain America fangirl in Disneyland Paris (i’m going back in three days and the excitement is UNREAL)

💅🏻- do you like being spoiled? OH NO. I’m not one of those who can’t accept a gift, but i can’t help but wonder what i did to deserve it and stress about it.

🕊️- 3 habits you have? 1) Arriving at college at least 30 minutes before my class starts and sitting on the floor outside of the classroom, reading or watching videos 2) Dancing a bit too enthusiastically at bus stops 3) Skipping class when i feel overwhelmed and hiding in the library/in a café with something to eat and something to drink, and watching a heckton of videos in hopes of making myself feel better

🦄- how do you perceive yourself? Well it depends on how i feel when you ask the question - but generally, i think i’m a rather good person, or at least i try my best to be. I’m as kind as possible. It’s going sound conceited, but i’m a bit too smart for my own good - which means i overthink everything and end up in a state of existential crisis 9 times out of 10. Physically, i’m mostly ok with how i look - although it sure would be nice if i could find ONE guy who thinks i’m alright too.

🦋- how do you think others perceive you? I’m not answering this question, because i don’t want to end up in aforementioned state of existential crisis. Feel free to tell me how you perceive me though, i’m interested!

🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys I’ll answer for guys, since they’re what i’m attracted to! Smile is something super important for me. I love hair, especially when they’ve got a lot of it (hello Brian May). And i seem to have a thing for cowboys and guitarists. (...again, hello Brian May)

🍓- one secret about yourself The main reason i obsess over “celebrities” (and even daydream about being with them) is because it’s easier than falling for guys i know irl and getting rejected.

🍒- how do you act when you have a crush? Like a FUCKIN IDIOT. During the first week i had a “thing” for my former crush, i couldn’t speak to him without stumbling on my words, and i almost fell on him on the tram. I can’t function properly when i like someone.

💔- the reason behind your last breakup? I’ve never been with anyone, so i’ve never had a breakup; so i’ll tell the reason behind my last rejection. Thankfully it didn’t hurt too much, he was in love with one of my friends and she loved him back, and i just knew they’d be good for each other. So just before they got together, we talked it out, just to clear the air, and so he knew that i wasn’t fully in love, i just liked him because he was cute and kind, that of course i wouldn’t do anything to interfere with their relationship, and that i really wanted us to stay friends. He was an absolute peach and he’s one of my best friends today!

💬- what your last text message says? It’s two heart emojis! (to a friend, don’t imagine any boys are talking to me)

🎥- what show are you currently binging on? I’m not watching any show at the moment, i’m trying to catch up on my Watch later Youtube playlist! But i did have half a Harry Potter marathon with a friend this weekend.

⛅- what is your morning routine? Brush my hair, tie it up in a ponytail (or a bun if it’s really greasy woops), wash my face, shower, dress, pack my bag, have breakfast, fiddle on my phone if i have extra time, go!

💗- who do you miss? I miss my friend Antoine. I know we’ve seen the best of each other, but sometimes i just miss the guy he was when i was 15.

🥀- last time you cried? Wednesday afternoon! While, you guessed it, watching Bohemian Rhapsody. It’s been 4 times, but i still cry a lot.

🎁- when is your birthday? March 3rd!

🔪- scariest/creepiest experience? I try to steer clear of anything even remotely scary or creepy, i hate that kind of stuff.

💤- date someone younger, older, or same age as you? I really don’t care as long as the connection’s there, but life has shown that i get along better with people that are a bit older than me!

🎀- any question you want I’m going to make this question into “where do you hope to be in three years?” because i think it’s interesting. If my plans don’t change, i’ll be in Brighton, taking another degree which i’ll hopefully enjoy this time. Which means i’ll have my own flat again - i hope it’s somewhat near the sea, so i can go quite often. I also hope i made friends that are on the same wavelength as i am, and who knows, maybe even found a good guy?

If you read this whole ordeal, thank you so much lol! That was really fun! I hope you have a nice day!

#personal #rambling #Chloé's ask lists

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dramaplustautology · 6 years

Text

Brhandy

“So I’ll continue wallowing in the rot left by these lost sensations.”

You ever see that post with a comparison between what nihilism is perceived to be versus what it is? Tariche is the kid with the backwards cap, giving you the skater thumbs up and Brhandy is not living up to his valley girl name, being the personification of Bring Me to Life.

I’ve been reblogging and looking at pics of hydrangeas in the rain to think of Brhandy. Like them, he comes in a spectrum and when people look at him, they think of different things. For some, and usually when the Hydrangeas are on the bluer side, they represent vanity, boastfulness, and even frigidity.

Brhandy is a tall young man with very dark blue hair burgeoning on black and he’s very grateful that his mother’s looks dug their nails in and stopped him just short of having the same hair color as his dad. He even managed to snag his mom’s eye color. His facial features and the way he presents himself gives off a very gentle feel. When describing him, people find him ‘pretty’ and not ‘handsome.’ And he’s very pretty, whether he’s happy, deplorably miserable, or furious. Like how the hydrangea is considered to be just as beautiful dead as it is alive. That rubs him the wrong way and gets a lot of creepy attention.

He wants to be a great hero like his mom and do lots of good in the world. Getting there is hard when people don’t see him as strong but as dainty and stringy. People can’t really take him seriously with such a soft, almost wispy voice too. So when he’s gotta toughen up, he hardens himself by trying to keep a serious face that people find frigid and stony. Then he goes back and forth between being himself or being tough, which gives off the feeling that he’s trying to act a certain way to get what he wants which is true but he doesn’t mean to come off as uncaring or vain.

That’s how he ends up with very few friends.

On the other end of the spectrum, hydrangeas are representative of romance, heartfelt feelings, and weddings. Brhandy has a really naïve and romantic view of the world. He wants to go on thrilling adventures, help everyone, and find love out there. Brhandy’ll help anyone and can get pumped to the point where he needs to do laps or dance off the excitement. He loves his friends and family too.

His mom had to leave when he and Tariche were very young but Tariche didn’t hold it against her, feeling that there had to be a very good reason. Brhandy took over caring for him and his younger brother, though he’s a bit of a klutz and an airhead, forgetting things and falling over himself but Tariche picked up the slack and cooked so Brhandy wouldn’t die. He’d also have to force Brhandy to not help.

Unlike Tariche, Brhandy’s a great fencer and, while a bad hit could floor him, he’s fast. As fast as the raindrops hit the ground. It got to the point where he became famed and nobles would go to him for help. The nobleman who owned the land he and Tariche lived on asked him to help stop a coming war between their Kingdom and another. Though it wasn’t Brhandy’s swordplay that he needed.

In a past life, Brhandy was the ‘Rain’ or to be more specific, a drizzle. He wasn’t a storm but a rain that could fall when the sun’s out and tickle the leaves. Presently, this manifests as it drizzling wherever Brhandy is (hydrangeas are also named for how much water they need and that they look like cups). No matter the weather, it’s always raining where Brhandy is. He can control this somewhat. Holding his breath stops the drizzle and lets the weather proceed naturally. Sleeping does the same. Luckily Brhandy isn’t human and can hold his breath for upwards of four hours. It’s pretty uncomfortable and another reason why people think he’s cold thanks to how stiff it keeps him.

At least at home, the locals don’t mind that. It rains a lot anyways and Brhandy loves home because he can be honest like he naturally is without their neighbors torching them. It was a very good home that raised him and kept him safe, which was why he was so ready to go off to defend it.

The noble only asked that he breathe easy in a fairly important central city in the neighboring kingdom. It was a fairly sandy and dry place, which means that raining for a prolonged amount of time would freak everyone out and cause landslides if people didn’t act. He was supposed to stall for time while the nobility talked it over with each other.

Thing is, Brhandy has never breathed “easy” for very long and he thought that it would just drizzle like it always does. The longer he stayed in that city, getting to know the people and the people getting to see past his eccentricities and care for him, the more it rained. Because of the particular mix of his mother and father, he’s much stronger than he was in his previous life.

Months into his time abroad, the rains that he held back by staggering his breath rushed out and demolished his second home. It didn’t stop with ruining buildings, crops, and drowning people, it also spread disease unique to the flood. Even worse, the forces from his home used this to their advantage and ransacked the cities and their people until the entire Kingdom toppled. Though they needed to do something drastic because the negotiations were heading the way of all-out war, some of the things that happened in the chaos were heinous. Brhandy was the cause of all of this and he was going to come back a Hero but in a bad way.

Tariche couldn’t even recognize his brother when he came back. When he wasn’t motionless, staring blankly at walls, he would lock himself in his room to throw fits. He was so naïve, the possibility having to cause something so terrible never crossed his mind. And now that Brhandy had set a precedence, the nobles frequently sent him out to keep the peace.

He would do genuine heroics, the stuff that puts him squarely in the white but he’d have to stray to gray frequently. For other folks, that’s just the way it is sometimes. Actions can’t always be thoroughly good. We try our best but some people still lose. But Brhandy takes it waaay to hard. When it rains, it pours.

The fact that his good looks attracted the wrong attention, to the point where Tariche got kidnapped to make Brhandy marry someone pushed him farther off the deep end. After that business, Brhandy was inconsolable so in desperation, Tariche made him believe that “None of this is [his] fault. It’s out of [his] control.”

This backfired spectacularly with Brhandy so upset that he couldn’t control how dangerous he was that he decided to make sure he would never hurt anyone ever again. So uh he cut his own head and limbs off, scattering them. Being that he’s all water, cutting himself to pieces won’t kill him but he’s no longer conscious. It’s like holding his breath forever which is an apologetic action (again hydrangea meanings)

Brhandy’s a travelling cloud now, existing in a dream state, taking his rain where people won’t remember him.

Misc Facts

His torso is the largest part of himself is where most of his consciousness is located. Brhandy can still appear to people but a torso is fucking weird and scary so he attacked doll parts to himself. Ball joints ehehehe, but he can’t get the head quite right. It’s like his own head but the eyes are strange. You know how a window looks when it’s raining? That’s what the eyes look like. It’s a rainy day and the drops are hitting the glass but you can still see the sun setting. It’s got this pink to dark blue gradient going on.

Tariche isn’t sure how Brhandy manages to pull it off but sometimes, he sends gifts to his brother just to let him know that he’s still looking out for him.

A lot of the gifts are dolls. It’s nothing really symbolic, Brhandy just likes dolls. Still creepy though. The dolls he makes can change their facial expressions.

Brhandy was really careless with where he left the rest of his body parts. Someone, we don’t know who, is keeping his head.

I came up with Brhandy’s name based on Tariche’s. Since he got Ishtar, I went with a name that just grew out of Brynhildr. You know, ladies who kill their darlings.

Back when I was in highschool, I read Fire about well a girl name Fire and it handled the trope of being cursed with beauty very well. I’m going to be aiming for that with Brhandy.

Tariche can’t remember how to spell Brhandy’s name anymore. Is it Bhrandy? Brandhy? Brahndy? He thinks that this is because the longer Bhrandy stays in this state, the more likely he’ll straight up die. (At this rate, I’m going to forget how to spell his name too)

#Brhandy (Info)#Another messy bio #I'm just using it as a place to store thoughts but I know I'm going to regret not being organized

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