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#.....maybe. or maybe ill just go back to bed
drgnflyteabox · 2 days
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lament [1]
part one -> honey || part two -> tbd
series masterlist
pairing: john price x fem reader summary: as you recover from prolonged illness, you meet a man on a hike in the woods just as strange things begin happening around you. tags/warnings: creepy / horror vibes, slowburn, phone sex, masturbation, injuries, mention of hospitals, pneumonia, mobility aids, softdom!price (for now), dubcon due to intoxication, tags will update as the story does w.c: 5.9k
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The woods are a peaceful, meditative thing. You’ve been spending your mornings there walking with Diva, meandering through the local trails and venturing off for pictures of red mushrooms or Diva in her little yellow raincoat, sniffing something or other.
The trails were scarcely used and took a couple of hours to finish, a longer trek in taller trees that closed off the sunlight and created peace through insulation, like an echo chamber of wet pitter patter from rain the night before and the gentle calls of birds, broken only by the sounds of your hiking shoes crunching gently through pebbles and leaves.
Quiet. It’s just what you need, slowly erasing memories of bright fluorescent lights and the smell of antiseptics. The trail isn’t elevated, it’s long, but not elevated. That’s important for your recovery, two months spent in a hospital bed attached to breathing apparatus.
Relief, freedom, as slow as your steps are and as beleaguered is your breathing, it’s pure relief. You’re no longer breathing through a straw, building strength walk by walk, spending time with Diva and watching her little tail wiggle under her coat. This time is good for her, too. You could sink to your knees and praise a higher being for the time off and sick pay policies your job has - so could Diva.
The shaking continues, your limbs still weak, muscles unused to standing and walking. You often find yourself sitting, on a log or a rock, and taking time to breathe and recover. Sometimes a granola bar makes its way into the mix, sometimes a handful of trail mix.
The last few times, there’s been a man. Tall, imposing, walking much quicker than you even with a brace around his knee. His posture tells you he takes himself pretty seriously, or he’s military, if there’s any difference.
Mutton chops, mustache, cargo pants. He’s been coming up behind you with sure steps, barely a limp even with his knee, and going by you so fast there's a breeze, makes you a little nervous to get mowed down.
Diva is weary of him. Her hackles raise, though she doesn’t bark, and she tucks close to you when he goes by. You don't feel unsafe, just a little surprised at the break in monotony no matter how tiny it is.
Doesn’t help that it’s pretty nice watching him go, that broad back and tight shirt, those well sculpted legs. Hey, you’re still sick and weak, still recovering. Sue me, you think, leaning on a tree when your lungs start burning again a little too much.
He stops, a few feet in front of you.
“You broken?” His voice is just as you imagined, rough maybe from smoking, maybe from overuse.
“What?” Broken?
“You alright?” He repeats, turning then. The quiet is a little oppressive now, with your struggle. You’re wheezing.
“Yes, yes, I’m fine-” you cough, dryly. “Just asthmatic.” It’s an easy explanation, you’re trying to get him to move on. You’ve never felt in danger, but it’s still the middle of the woods and he’s still a strange man.
“Need a hand?” He has to look down at you, even from a distance. His head is tilted down, arms folding across his chest, biceps calling to you like sirens.
You shake your head, squatting down as best you can, taking the breaths learned from your doctor and pulling out your steroid inhaler. One puff, two puff.
The man looks at you skeptically, eyes small and narrowed, flitting once to Diva who would fail as a service dog, but tries her best at guarding you despite being so small. Her gaze is pinpointed to him, as stiff as he is.
”Right, then,” is all he says before he’s back to his soldiers march.
You imagine him with horse blinders on and pulling a sled behind him, wheezing a laugh into the empty air.
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Recovery is not linear. That’s what your doctor tells you, what you were told before you left the ICU, before you were discharged all together. There’ll be ups and downs, moments where you feel you’ve backslid to the point of having to start all over.
You get it, really. It’s a mantra. Recovery is not linear.
What they don't warn you is that it’s different when you’re actually feeling it, waking up weaker than ever and coughing, burning in your chest. It’s jarring, every cell in your body crying for oxygen and yet you aren’t low enough that you need to go back to the ER, just sit up in bed and stare out the window to the fortress of green that surrounds your house.
Recovery is not linear. You watch comfort shows - animated Halloween specials, a couple months too early. They fit the cooling temperatures, the slow yellowing of the trees.
Food is hard when you can’t stand for long periods of time, so you order in. Soup, and an extra chicken crunch treat for Diva on her dinner.
It’s only when you turn Charlie Brown off that you hear it.
Tap tap tap. Deliberate, timed taps, like a mini hammer on a mini nail. Quiet enough that your ears strain, and yet you can just barely catch the sound. It’s coming from the side of your house, opposite to your bedroom and closest to the living room you were just in.
Tap tap tap. Maybe it’s the vibe you put yourself in, but you shiver with apprehension. Could be an animal, you do live fairly far out, and by the woods. Your driveway is long, separated from the highway just outside of town.
Diva is usually a false alarm - she raises her hackles at the stove, she’s not trustworthy when it comes to alerting you. And yet you look, and find her standing straight up and staring at the wall the sound is coming from, lips peeling back.
Only there's nothing you can do. You aren’t gonna go check, not with your weak limbs and thin breath. Theres a landline in the kitchen with a long cord, and your cellphone. The best you can do is lock the windows and doors, which you do, shuffling so as to make the least amount of noise possible.
Next the lights and curtains, drawn and shut. You tuck a knife under your mattress, more for reassurance than anything, and close your bedroom door behind Diva.
The only reason you’re able to sleep is the bedroom door locks. The handle has one, and there’s a chain above that. You tuck into bed under the covers like a child hiding from their closet, straining to hear the tap tap tap. Sometime between you locking all the entries and exits, it stopped, but you’re still unmoored.
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Your lungs fare better the next morning, eased by rest. You’re back in the woods by late morning, driving up to the trailhead through the canopy of trees. It really is beautiful, part of the reason you moved here, other than peace and quiet.
There's another car as you pull up, a reliable model in a dark colour, a surprise since you’re usually the first one there. 
You park away from it in an effort to not be creepy, but still sneak a peak while Diva does her post-car ride shakeout and pee.
It’s the man from before, sitting in the front seat, talking on a phone. He looks serious, frowning, talking in a measured way but you can still hear the volume as you pass by.
He waves, and you wave back, giving him a little smile.
Diva leads the way, prancing into the woods without fear even as the leaves start blocking out the sun. She inspires you - a little dog, brave, braver than you were last night.
God, it was probably a rabbit or a possum stuck somewhere. Maybe a mouse, and though you hope it isn’t it is the season for them. Cooler temperatures means creatures trying to enter your house. Means you have yet to drive down to town and pick up insulation supplies for your windows before fall really hits and you’re freezing.
Making a mental note of that, you lean heavily on your walking stick and pause. It’s one of those days, needing more aid than usual after yesterday and more breaks.
Crunch.
“Sorry, honey,” the army man holds his arms up, seeming sheepish as you flip around to face him. “Didn’t mean to scare ya.”
“Oh, no, it’s okay,” your cheeks burn in embarrassment. “Just jumpy today.”
“That’s alright,” his eyes crinkle at the corners, softening at the edges. He’s approachable today, not speed walking through the woods like there's a pot of gold at the end. “Mind if I join you?”
Unexpected, but with your eyes at pec-height it’s an easy yes. You deserve a handsome escort for the second half of the trail, and your emergency alarm is tucked in your front sweater pocket if you need it.
“Sure,” you nod. “I’m pretty slow, though, just to warn you. Recovering.”
“That’s fine, I should be taking it easier anyway. Make my physio happy for once,” he gestures to his knee with a chuckle. “John.”
You tell him your name. John. It suits him, the masculinity of it, the simpleness too. He gives the impression that he’s careful about how he presents himself, that outside of this sudden friendliness he’s very closed off - the way he was when you’d come across him before. Now he calls you honey, and touches his fingertips to your back as you navigate a patch of rough terrain warped by roots.
“I’m off until my knee is battle-ready, again,” he says it like it’s a joke, but there’s a steel edge beneath his words. You ask about his job: contract work, he says, not self-employed but with pockets of free time.
“Did you move here recently?” The wind shivers the trees, chillier than last week, as you meander.
“Ah, didn’t move here,” he scratches his thumb with his nose. “Staying with a friend. Needed the fresh air.”
“I get it,” your shoulder brushes his arm. “That’s why I moved here too.”
“Helps your asthma?”
You pause for a moment, confused. And then.
“Oh!” You’re a little embarrassed. “I don’t have asthma, actually. I mean I could have it, or develop it. But really I had pneumonia for a while, really wiped me out.”
“Ah, I see,” his voice says surprised, but his face stays the same. You wonder if he notices. “Terrible, that. My mum had a bad bout of it a couple years back, gave us a scare.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” you aren’t sure how old John is, but you can assume it was dangerous for his mother to have caught such a bad infection. “How’s she doing now?”
“Much better. Healthy as a goat.”
“A goat?” You’re laughing, then. A giggle that has him smiling back at you. “Haven’t heard that one before.”
John hums when he doesn’t reply verbally, and nods like you’re giving a university lecture. The attentiveness is nice, but it makes you self conscious, unused to having so much attention so focused on you. And he is so focused, like you’re discussing nuclear launch codes or what a quark is or something important. Honestly, it makes you hide your face in an embarrassingly shy way, avoiding eye contact.
He walks with you slowly, patiently down the path, arms crossed behind his back. Every once in a while either or the two of you laugh, which seems to bother Diva, whose been looking back at John suspiciously or trying to get between you the whole time.
“So sorry about that,” you really don’t know what’s gotten into her. Sure, she’s a pro at finding innocuous things suspicious, but you’ve been walking for a while now and she usually warms up when she realizes you’re okay with the offensive person or item.
“Don’t worry about it, honey,” honey again. He sure knows how to make a lady flustered. “She’s just looking out for her mama, right?”
If your pussy reacts to that, it’s no one’s business but your own.
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The air chills, day by day. John has begun joining you on your walks every other day, and sometimes you catch him jogging to the trailhead from the road instead of driving it. It makes you wonder where he’s, whether it’s close or he’s really pushing his knee, and whether or not he’s flirting with you when he shows up all sweaty in a tight shirt.
Another anomaly is that the tapping has returned, nearly every night. You’re scared every time, won’t even let Diva out for a final pee and have stuck to walking up at the buttcrack of dawn to make sure she’s taken care of.
Tedious, is what it is. Ridiculous. And yet when those little taps come, in different places around the house now, different walls, you hide under the covers with Diva growling her little growl at the bedroom door and try to sleep.
When cabin fever starts to set in, anxiety and insane thoughts like, what if someone is trying to break into my house? You decide it’s past time for a visit to town.
The trip serves many purposes, anyways. Diva needs treats, kibble, and a new ball. You need groceries, tampons, new socks. Overall worth it outside of the fresh air and human interaction with more than just one person.
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“Hey! Hey you!”
You’re in the bakery, weighing with your hands two loaves of artisanal bread. Just the one will do, since your freezer is small, but you want both. Pumpernickel or dark rye? Which will go better with the honey ham sandwich slices?
“Hello? Earth to-”
Your deliberation is interrupted by a waving in your face. You realize Jo, your only real friend in town, has run across the street to catch your attention.
“Oh gosh, my bad,” you look down at your shoes, then reach for a hug. She squeezes you.
“That’s okay, babe, off in your own world?” She’s dazzling, too cute for such a small town. Her ringlets bounce on her shoulders and her mouth, which is always smiling, is stretched wide with mirth. Makes you feel warm inside that she cares for you.
“Trying to make a hard decision. You know, end world hunger or stop all wars.” Stupid, but she laughs. You love making her laugh, and if you were lesbian you’d have made a move on her. Maybe you were, just a little.
“Why not both?” Her hands find your shoulders and squeeze. It’s then that you notice someone behind her, a much taller someone. At first the muscled chest and thick neck make you think it’s John, and a small squeeze of jealousy grips your stomach.
Then you see the mohawk, the difference in height. This man is looking at you with a similar intensity, though, all piercing blue eyes, thick furrowed brows, pin-straight posture.
“You’re right,” your laugh is more awkward, then, motioning with your eyes to the man.
“Oh, I’m so rude,” she turns to him. “This is Johnny, we met a few weeks ago.”
A wink. Ah, they met a few weeks ago. You picture them in the only bar in town, low lighting and Jo looking like Botticelli’s Venus, plump cheeks and red lips. And yeah, Johnny’s pretty good looking. You’d laugh about the mixup and the names if it wasn’t rude.
“Nice tae meet ya,” his accent is thick, palm warm and rough against yours. “Shall we, lass?”
He’s talking to Jo. They exchange glances, him looking at you once so fast you almost miss it. There’s something uncomfortably familiar about the look he gives you, but you shake it off. Nerves, you think. From the taps.
“Right,” Jo looks a little sheepish, then. “We’re off to the movies, but nice to see you!”
You raise a brow. You can’t help it, it’s 10am. Jo laughs and they leave.
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You bake, sometimes. It’s a good hobby for someone on a leave of absence with nothing much else to do but read, walk and play with her dog.
The oven sometimes scares Diva, and she curls up in your room indignantly until you’re done using it. You’ve always wondered why, since she came to you as a puppy and hasn’t got a single reason to be upset with the appliance. 
Oh well.
You decide to bring brown butter chocolate chip cookies on your hike, hoping to see John and give him one. Your interactions haven’t progressed past leisurely chatting and walking together, but he’s a handsome man and you're still a little stir-crazy. At least with work, it wasn’t just hours on hours of uninterrupted alone time.
Funny how that works, isn’t it? You spend every day at work wishing not to be at work, and once you have the opportunity you have no idea what to do with yourself.
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John loves the cookies. He takes two right out of the Tupperware, flattering you by groaning as he eats. The recipe is that good, but you think he might be putting it on a bit anyway.
It’s sweet.
“Fantastic,” he says, licking his fingers. You try not to look. “You bake often?”
“Just something to do, keeps me busy.” Diva has growled at John again, her second offense. She’s being a real heel today, rude and fussy. You elect to schedule a vet visit for a checkup soon.
“No one to keep you company in that house?” He stops when you need to stop, takes the opportunity to stretch his bad leg.
“What?” You take a puff of the inhaler, frowning a little.
“Are you lonely?” A weird question, but you chalk it up to small town weirdness.
“A little, but that one over there keeps me company,” as if she knows, she turns and yips. “What do you mean, that house?”
“You mentioned you live in your grandfather's house, no? Inherited it.” He chuckles at Diva.
“Did I? I don’t think…” you fully frown, thinking back to your conversations. Did you mention that? You haven’t even thought of it yourself for a while, not wanting to revisit painful memories. Your grandpa did pass you his house, but you’re usually more private than offering more than surface-level information to strangers.
“I believe so,” he looks deep in thought himself, squinting up at the umbrella of trees above you. That comforts you, the fact that he’s trying to recall. You’ve been so anxious lately.
“I must have forgotten, sorry. I’ve just been so scrambled lately.” John perks up at that, turning towards you as you finally continue walking.
“Scrambled?” His palm finds the back of your arm, the meat of it. He squeezes you, and it fills you with warmth. “How so?”
“Ah, well, just some animals around my house. I think,” you meet eyes, and he gets the best of you, so you elect to stare between his brows.
“Want me to take a look?” His tone is very serious. You shiver.
“I don’t think it’s necessary… I think there’s just some mice making a home for winter. I gotta call an expert,” He slides his hand down to your elbow, holding it gently. You’re nearing the end of the trail, the woods getting brighter around you. Diva marks her territory here more than anywhere else and yips at John again. 
“I could do it for free though, honey,” the air drops where you are, a gust of wind creating a symphony of sound all around you. A little romantic, you think. Ridiculous.
“Well,” far be it from you to pass up free help. “Only if you let me pay you back somehow.” 
“You have already,” he holds up the cookie Tupperware, shaking it gently. 
“Then let me make you dinner. Whatever you want!” The enthusiasm in which you say it has you cringing at yourself, but mentally you justify it; it’s completely normal to invite a friend over, especially to pay back a favour. You’re not being obvious that you’re attracted to him at all, no sir. Definitely not scared and in need of comfort, Mr John sir. 
“Sounds like a plan. I’m free after 7 o’clock.”
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You elect to be cliche and make British food. Good British food, a proper roast. Something you’d had a few times with friends in pubs or that time you’d visited London as an exchange student. Hot, smothered in gravy, salty and perfect with a mug of beer British food. You really hope he likes it, that he doesn't think you’re weird or making fun of him for his accent.
John is a proper gentleman, so punctual that he knocks on your door the very second it turns to 7:30 on your oven timer.
Diva has to battle her hatred of the stove with her need to announce a guest, staying in hallway purgatory barking at both.
The smell of garlicky roast beef, rosemary and thyme, salt and boiling potatoes is rife in the air, no doubt spilling into the woods through your badly insulated windows.
The moment it hits John, you can see it. Your door opens, creaking, and his eyes fix to you so quickly it’s almost physical.
“Hey! Thanks for coming,” you open it, motioning for him to come in. “Don’t mind Diva, she’s not a fan of the oven being on.”
He toes his boots off, still staring, like you’re a prize heifer and he’s set on buying you at the farm auction. A little sexy, mostly nerve wracking. Diva peeks around the corner at him and the sound of her little nails on the hardwood breaks the tension.
“Smells like home,” he leans closer to you to put his coat up on the rack. “You really went through all this trouble?”
“It’s the least I can do for your help.” At that moment, he seems to remember.
“Right, the mice. Want to show me where you heard them, or can I not steal you away from the stove?” His voice deepens as he talks, intensifying, grating hot coals and growling like a bear. Blue, focused eyes find the half-apron you’re wearing. You swear his pupils dilate, but he shakes his head before you’re sure.
“I can show you, there’s still a few minutes left for everything.”
The air is biting outside, cold with the evening breeze and dark already. So dark you equip your biggest, brightest flashlight and walk around the house with him, explaining the taps all around.
“I figure it’s them trying to dig holes so they can get in,” you hand the flashlight to him, feeling your fingers brush, and shivering in response. “I’ve been too chicken to check, to be honest. I keep thinking it’s a person walking around, not some animal.”
John nods as you speak, squatting by your little tool shed, looking diligently and moving items as he needs to. Then, he looks up, smiling a little.
“Why don’t you head inside, darling? Let me take care of this.”
“Sure,” you squeak. Squeak. Your stomach makes a knot and you scurry like one of the mice he’s looking for back into the house to mash the potatoes and make the gravy.
You are quite proud of this meal, not a proper cook by a long shot but it looks and smells pretty good. The Yorkshire puddings are alright, too, and that was the hardest part. Plus, you think, it’s free food. He’s gotta be happy with the effort, even if he winds up not liking it, right? That’s something your mother always told you. Someone’s put in a lot of effort for this meal, she’d say, pointing at you with a long nail. Better eat it.
“Think I found the little buggers,” John startles you just a little as he comes in, toeing his boots off again. You’re plating his plate, huge portions of mash potato and roast carrot and brussel sprouts nestled to the beef. His eyes look at the plate, then to you, then down to your apron, and you pretend you can’t see him adjusting his pants.
This isn’t what you think it is, you remind yourself. Two friends, one lending a hand and the other paying them back. You don’t even know his last name.
“Oh god, how bad was it?” You ladle gravy over his portion, then yours, pretending to be unaffected when he walks into your kitchen and takes a huge sniff.
“Not too bad. I’ll have to come back with some traps, if that’s alright.” You want to say John, you can come back anytime, but you don’t.
“Glad to know it was mice at least,” that’s the truth. A feeling you didn’t totally realize you had turns from paranoia into relief. “I was really scared it was some creep walking around my house, trying to get in.”
“Here,” John takes his plate when you hand it to him, but puts his phone into your hands before you can get yours. “Put your number in there, honey. Call me if anything like that happens.”
Honey. You fucking love that, so much it renders you temporarily mute as you punch in your number. He doesn't let you bring your own plate to the table, picks it up while you’re busy and comes back to shepherd you there with a palm on your lower back.
“Thank you,” you say, struck timid by his casual and yet firm guidance of you.
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Diva makes an appearance for supper, summoned by the smell of beef and the oven being turned off. Her little claws tip tap against the hardwood as she circles your chair, tucks herself under the table looking for scraps, and whines at John while he’s trying to eat.
You nudge her away from him with a socked foot, stuttering that she isn’t usually like this, honest, only for him to brush it off kindly.
After supper, when you’re full and you can’t handle him looking at you with those half-lidded, well-fed bear eyes anymore, you move to pick up the dishes and bring them to the kitchen.
“Ah ah,” John cuts in front of you, stealing the plates and cutlery. “You cooked, I’ll clean.”
Useless to argue - he’s built like a brick shithouse. You’re forced to pack up the leftovers, one container for you and one for him to take home. For no reason other than you’re feeling especially soft and gooey, you wrap up a few homemade fig and date granola bars for him to take too.
“Thank you,” he gruffs, rolling his sleeves to his elbows, flexing his forearm muscles, making you hot again.
“It’s really the least I can-”
Snap. Fuck, the day that creepy noises don’t happen near your house is the day you convert to whatever religion that’ll make it happen. Both your heads turn to the living room window, where the sound came from, a crack in the otherwise quiet night air.
Anxiety curls in your stomach, sharp and dreadful. You try to remind yourself that you live in the woods for gods sake, there’s gonna be sounds, but that awful sense of danger is back and if you were Diva your hackles would be raised.
John frowns, wiping his hands on a towel. He doesn't seem as phased as you are, probably because he’s not worried over boogeymen haunting the forest like you are, but when he looks back at you and sees your fright he leans in and murmurs that he’ll go take a look.
“It’s okay, it’s probably one of my furry friends,” you try, but he shakes his head, putting a palm on your hip for a brief moment as reassurance and then he’s out the door.
God, you’re so nervous you whip out a bottle of wine, desperate for a little courage. The feeling is so strange, you’re used to feeling safe and cushioned by your home, by the forest. Even your little dog whimpers, tapping her way into the kitchen, rubbing her face on your leg like a cat. She’s a comfort still, something about there being a more nervous person (or animal) that inspires bravery. Still, you won't peek out the window.
The wine is good. A little too dry, but still good. A housewarming gift from your mother, even though she knew you didn’t drink unless it was social.
Or unless you were nervously waiting for some man to come back, having dealt with your problems for you. She’d weep to see you, aproned and wringing your hands and sipping red wine too quickly. Whatever, you think. There’s nothing wrong with letting him help.
John comes back in, maybe a few minutes later or maybe a half hour, you can’t tell. Your wine is half empty, and you feel awkward about it so you pour him one without asking.
“Think you’ve got more than one furry friend,” John says, laughter in his voice. In his fingers he’s got tufts of light brown hair, which he holds up. “Dinner, if you hunt.”
“Ah, I don’t,” and you wouldn’t. You’re fine eating meat or even purchasing it from a local hunter to eat, but there’s something in you that’s deeply uncomfortable with the idea. Maybe it’s cowardice, unable to do the dirty work and yet enjoying the fruits of someone else’s labour. Maybe you’re putting stock in something that really isn’t worth stressing over. Either way, you’re overthinking, and only stop when John steps into your space.
“Hey- you alright, darling?” You like darling too, just as much as honey.
“Yeah, sorry,” your hands find the wine glass you poured for him, and you hand it over. One thing about abstaining is that it hits you quickly, even with the big meal. “Want to sit? I’ve got a fireplace.”
You cringe at yourself, not meaning to sound so suggestive. Oh well, he doesn’t seem to mind, just nods and takes you by the elbow again to your living room.
“This all the heading you’ve got?” John asks.
“Er, no. I have to get my windows insulated for winter, then I can turn the heating on without it all going to waste. For now, I make do with the fireplace,” when you sit, Diva runs to you both and demands to be swaddled in her blanket. It’s an old knitted one, a college project finished between essay assignments and readings. There’s sentimental value there, especially with your pup who doesn’t even let the presence of a strange man come between her and her cozying up.
“I can help with that,” John says. Briefly, Westley pops into your head shouting As you wish! and it makes you smile.
“That’s okay,” you sip, tasting spice. Would’ve been good with dinner. “I owe you double now for helping me again.”
“Not at all, sweetheart.” Oh, he’s full of names - and getting bolder. 
The conversation ebbs and flows naturally. Sometimes you both sit in silence, sipping, refilling glasses, staring at the fire. He’s easy to talk to, soothing, his confidence and sureness leaving you relaxed.
“I better get going,” he grunts as he stands, extending a palm to you.
“Are you okay to drive?” You’re half worried, half disappointed. There’s been a steadily building sense of heat between your legs the entire evening, brought on by his touches and his pet names and his taking care of you
“Don’t worry about me, sweetheart. I live close-by.” That’s one mystery solved.
“Well, okay. But will you call when you get home?” If you weren’t three glasses in, you might be embarrassed. John crinkles his eyes at you while he puts his boots on.
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“John?” You’re in your pajamas, face hastily cleaned with a makeup wipe. Your door is double locked again, anxiety beaten down by the wine.
“I’m home,” he sounds distant. You can’t really hear anything, just his breathing, the sounds of him taking off his coat and his boots. “You tucked in bed, sweetheart?”
“I am,” you breathe, eyes slipping, drunker than you thought you were. “Did you drive okay?”
“I did,” he laughs. His keys jingle and make a clamor as he tosses them. You imagine him in a house that fits him, a log cabin or a house built by hand, before remembering he’s talking with someone. Disappointment dampens you a little.
“I guess I should let you get to bed then,” you try to keep it out of your voice, but you’re curled on your side with a hand pressed against your clothed pussy and it’s hard not to be sad at the fact that you have no idea if he’s actually been flirting with you, or just being friendly.
“You sound disappointed,” either he’s perceptive, or you’re more obvious than you’re trying to be. “Don’t worry, I won’t leave you without saying goodnight.”
A pulse, between your legs. You rub with all four fingers, moving the phone away from your mouth.
“That’s okay, I don’t want to keep you,” you scrunch your eyes shut, trying to stop, not being able to. You’re starved, really, haven’t been touched or talked to like you’re desirable in quite some time and he makes you feel safe. Taken care of.
“You touching that wet little cunt, sweetheart?” A shockwave, from your nipples tightening to your toes tingling, curling. You stop hiding, breathing whines into the phone.
“I’m so sorry,” you mumble, biting your lips. It feels like permission, and maybe it is or maybe it isn’t, but you stuff your hand into your pants and start focusing on your needy clit. “I’m so-”
“Shh, sh, sh,” you hear a mattress creak, a grunt, and imagine him laying back. Maybe palming his cock. “That’s okay, baby, I could tell how needy you were.”
Panting, you stuff two fingers in your soft hole, grinding your palm into your clit. You hear him making sounds, quieter than you, but you’re straining to hear them.
He starts talking you through it, murmuring into your ear, calling you sweetheart and honey and baby, telling you to put three fingers in and to play with your tits.
“Go ahead and touch your nipples, sweetheart, go on,” his breath is growing laboured. “Needed to come so she could sleep, did she?”
For a moment, you think he’s talking about you.
“Poor little pussy needed some attention,” his voice gets rougher again, like when he walked in and saw that you had made him a roast. “Give it to her then, baby, go on, let her come.”
That’s all you need. You squeeze your nipples one last time, letting your tits out of your shirt and turning over to hump your hand unashamedly. Your clit drags against your palm still, hips desperately moving, listening to him grunting and groaning on the other side of the call, waiting to hear him come before you let go.
You shake, shiver, curl into yourself as your core tightens and explodes like an elastic band snapping. It’s great, just what you needed, and you’re half asleep by the end of it
“John..” you mumble into your pillow, just enough consciousness left to pull your hand out of your pajama pants.
“It’s alright, it’s time to sleep now, alright? Close your eyes.”
“Alright, John.”
“Good girl,” his voice is distant, sleep taking you, muscles more relaxed than they’ve been in so long.
You’ll deal with the rest in the morning.
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blixabargelds · 3 days
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PLS do more cnc, nobody ever writes it :( you are a fantastic writer
thank youu 🥺 cnc my beloved ugh especially when it’s ill advised and under negotiated and ends in tears <3 but also also~
modern clegan au,. gale meets this real attractive guy at a bar, a little older, rough around the edges but he seems nice enough. and gale’s nervous because he’s never touched a drop of alcohol in his life but he’s had a rough fucking week, wants to see what the fuss is all about, take the edge off the noise in his head. and this guy sits down next to him, and gale’s playing nervously with the straw in his vodka lime soda staring into it, and this guy says ‘hey, doll, you gonna drink that?’
so gale does. he takes a sip, and it sort of stings on the way down, but this cute guy, says his name is john, smiles at him so wide like he’s pleased with him and that smile is like a shot in itself, so gale finishes the drink. and john, he can see this quiet kid is relaxing a bit, so he gets him another. and john’s hardly touching his but gale’s halfway through this second one, and christ he’s a lightweight, so he barely notices he’s the only one getting wasted.
and gale gets a little bold with it, he’s flirting with this guy now, and when john offers to drive him home he accepts because the world is tilting a bit, and he seems so nice.
and when gale kisses his cheek as a thank you as they get back to gale’s, this guy- he won’t leave. he sticks a foot in gale’s door and won’t let him shut it. and this big smile john had, it won’t leave his face as he looks at gale and says ‘you do this a lot?’
gale doesn’t know what he means, goes to say no and sorry, but john’s bullying his way into gale’s apartment and saying ‘you like to lead guys on? you do this a lot, leave good men high and dry? nobody ever told you that’s pretty fuckin rude?’
and gale’s gut twists and he goes to say something else, but john’s switched. he ain’t so friendly anymore. he’s grabbing gale by the hair and throwing him down onto his bed. he’s bigger and stronger, and gale’s head is swimming, and he can’t breathe as john’s tugging his pants down, shoving his face into the pillow so when gale shouts for him to get the hell off him nobody’s gonna hear. and gale’s maybe starting to cry as john fingers him once, twice, then fucks into him with spit and the sheer force of a violent stranger, and gale thinks he might pass out.
and he’s never done this before, either, and he tells this guy as much, begging him not to, he doesn’t understand his body’s reaction when this guy fucks him so deep he’s hitting something gale’s only found with his own shy fingers before, and gale wants to die because he’s getting hard, he’s gonna come from this man roughly taking something gale didn’t want to give. and when he does, just from his cock against the sheets and john splitting him apart, he sobs into the pillow, begs john to get off him bc he’s ruining him, and when john pulls out and flips gale over and puts his hand on his neck he tells him ‘you never saw my face, nobody’s going to believe you’.
and he’s choking gale so tight his eyes are rolling back, and the vodka and the terror and the lack of oxygen make him slip, and he thinks he can hear the ocean rushing in his ears and as john’s grip finally loosens he’s gone.
and when john touches his face, brings him back around, everything’s fuzzy. and gale looks up at him, and he smiles so hard john drags in this breath like he was the one getting throttled.
and gale says, ‘you never asked my name’
and john says ‘shit, buck, where d’you learn to act like that,’ and ‘did you tell the bartender beforehand to just give you soda?’ because of course gale would plan that far ahead, and ‘where did the fucking virgin thing come from?’
and gale says, ‘you told me i could improvise,’ and ‘did you lock the door? never know what kinds of people there are out there these days.’
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If you don't take requests that's so fine please ignore me but if you do can I request a plus size reader/ Gambit. I'm just feeling a little insecure today and i feel like he would be a thick person enjoyer. Thank you, you're my inspiration
My Darling I'm so sorry you're feeling like that today. I hope this cheers you up.
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You stared at your reflection, frowning as you tugged at the hem of your shirt for the hundredth time. No matter how much you adjusted it, it still didn’t sit the way you wanted. The fabric clung to your stomach, revealing every curve and bump you didn’t want to see. Your jeans, which had once been your favorite pair, now felt too tight, pinching at your waist and making you feel like you were bursting out of them.
With a frustrated sigh, you yanked the shirt off entirely and tossed it onto the pile of rejected clothes on your bed. The mirror reflected your bare skin now, and you couldn’t help but notice the way your stomach rounded, the way your thighs touched, the fullness of your hips. All of it felt too much. Too much body, too much space, too much of everything.
You wrapped your arms around yourself, as if you could shrink away from your own reflection. It was one of those days where nothing felt right. The clothes that usually made you feel confident and comfortable now felt like costumes, ill-fitting and awkward. The little voice in the back of your mind, the one that whispered cruel things about your body, was louder than ever today.
"Why did I even agree to go out?" you thought, staring at the mess of clothes around you. Remy had asked you out earlier that day, suggesting a casual dinner in the city—just the two of you. He had looked so excited, flashing you that irresistible grin of his, and you had agreed without hesitation. But now, standing here in front of the mirror, you felt like it had been a mistake. You didn’t feel like yourself. You didn’t feel worthy.
Another sigh escaped your lips as you sat down heavily on the bed, burying your face in your hands. You loved being with Remy—he was charming, kind, and always made you laugh. But sometimes, it was hard to quiet the voice that told you he could do better. That he deserved someone who looked like the women he’d been with before—slender, toned, effortlessly beautiful.
A soft knock at your door pulled you from your thoughts.
"Chère, y' ready?" Remy’s voice was warm, but there was a hint of curiosity in it. "We gon' be late if y' don’t hurry."
You froze, your heart pounding in your chest. You didn’t want him to see you like this—not when you felt so exposed, so vulnerable. A part of you considered pretending to be sick, making up some excuse not to go. But you knew that wouldn’t fool him. Remy was too perceptive for that.
"I… I don’t think I’m going to go," you called out, your voice shaky despite your best efforts to sound casual. You hoped he’d drop it, that he’d understand without asking too many questions, "Maybe we can just do something here?"
There was a long pause, and for a moment you thought he might have walked away. But then the door creaked open, and Remy stepped inside. He shut the door behind him quietly, his eyes immediately scanning the room before settling on you. His brow furrowed slightly in concern.
"Now, what y' talkin' 'bout, chère?" he asked, his voice soft but firm. "Why y' don’t wanna go?"
You avoided his gaze, staring at the floor instead. "I’m just… not feeling up to it, that’s all."
Remy wasn’t a man easily fooled, and you could tell by the way he crossed the room to stand in front of you that he wasn’t buying your excuse. His eyes flickered to the pile of clothes on the bed, and then to the way you sat hunched over, arms crossed protectively over your body.
"Somethin's botherin' ya," he said quietly, crouching down so that he was on eye level with you. His red-on-black eyes, always so intense yet gentle, searched your face. "Talk t' me."
You swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that were threatening to spill over. You didn’t want to admit it. You didn’t want him to know how insecure you were feeling, how much you hated what you saw in the mirror today. But the weight of it all was too much to carry alone.
It had been building for a while, this gnawing pit of self-doubt that seemed to grow larger whenever you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You couldn’t remember exactly when it started—maybe it had been creeping in for years, little comments here and there, comparisons to other women who seemed to glide through life effortlessly, their bodies molded to perfection. Or maybe it was something deeper, an old voice that had always lingered in the back of your mind, whispering that you weren’t enough.
And today, that voice was louder than ever.
Your chest felt tight, your throat constricting as you tried to hold it together. The last thing you wanted was for Remy to see this side of you—the side that felt small, fragile, and vulnerable. He was always so confident, so sure of himself, and you didn’t want to burden him with your insecurities. You didn’t want to be the one who cracked under the pressure of something as trivial as your reflection in the mirror.
But gods, it didn’t feel trivial. Not today.
Every time you looked at yourself, all you could see were the things you wished you could change. The way your clothes hugged your body a little too tightly, the way your stomach wasn’t flat, the way your thighs touched. It was as if every part of you was magnified, exaggerated, and you couldn’t escape it. You had tried—tried to brush it off, tried to focus on the things that you liked about yourself. But those thoughts were drowned out by the louder ones, the ones that told you that you weren’t enough. That no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself otherwise, you would never quite measure up.
And the worst part? Standing in front of Remy, with his eyes on you, you couldn’t shake the feeling that he must see it too. He had to. How could he not? He was gorgeous—dangerously handsome—with that smirk that could weaken knees, and a body that looked like it was sculpted by the gods themselves. He had been with women who were stunning, women who looked like they belonged on magazine covers, and here you were, feeling like you didn’t even belong in the same room.
The thought made your chest ache, the tears stinging behind your eyes. You didn’t want to cry in front of him. You didn’t want to break down and tell him how ugly you felt, how unworthy you felt. The shame of it was too heavy, too raw. But it was getting harder to hold it in, harder to pretend that everything was fine when it clearly wasn’t.
For a moment, there was silence between you. You couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze, your eyes fixed on the floor as if it could somehow swallow you up and save you from having to confront the truth. You could feel the weight of his eyes on you, though—steady, patient, waiting. Remy wasn’t the type to push if you weren’t ready to talk, but you knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t let this go. Not when he could see how much it was hurting you.
And that was the thing—Remy always saw you. He saw you in ways that you sometimes wished he didn’t. He saw past the walls you tried to put up, past the bravado you sometimes used to hide your insecurities. He was always watching, always noticing the little things, the things you thought you were hiding so well. And that scared you, because it meant you couldn’t pretend with him. Not for long.
The silence stretched, thick and heavy in the air, and you felt the dam starting to crack. You didn’t want to say it. You didn’t want to admit how deeply the insecurities had burrowed into your heart, how much they weighed you down. But the burden of carrying it alone was suffocating, and Remy was standing there, waiting, offering you a lifeline without even saying a word.
"I…" Your voice broke, and you hated how small it sounded, how fragile. You took a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself, but the tears were dangerously close now, and you knew there was no holding them back. "I don’t feel good, Remy. With me."
It was such a simple sentence, but it felt like you had just ripped open your chest and laid bare everything you had been trying to hide. You could feel the tears gathering in the corners of your eyes now, and you quickly turned your face away, not wanting him to see. You hated how emotional you were getting over this, hated that you couldn’t just shake it off like you thought you should.
But you couldn’t. Not today.
You felt Remys hands on your thighs, his thumbs drawing small circles on the skin, the warmth of his presence wrapping around you like a protective shield. He didn’t say anything at first, and for a moment, you wondered if he even understood. Maybe he didn’t get it. Maybe he couldn’t. How could someone like him—so effortlessly confident, so sure of himself—understand what it felt like to look in the mirror and hate what you saw?
But then you felt his hand, warm and gentle, on your arm. His touch was so soft, so cautious, as if he knew exactly how fragile you were in that moment. He didn’t try to pull you into a hug or force you to look at him. He just crouched there, his fingers brushing lightly against your skin, grounding you with his presence.
"Chère," he said softly, his voice like a soothing balm. "I’m right here."
And that was all it took. The dam broke, and the tears spilled over, silent but heavy as they slid down your cheeks. You felt your shoulders shake with the effort of holding it all in, but it was too much. The weight of your insecurities, the fear of not being enough, the shame of feeling this way—it all came crashing down at once.
Remy didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. He just stayed close, his hand never leaving your arm, his presence a steady, unwavering comfort. He didn’t try to fix it or offer empty reassurances. He just let you be, let you feel what you needed to feel, and somehow, that made all the difference.
After a few moments, when the tears had slowed but the ache still lingered in your chest, you finally found your voice again, though it was shaky and weak.
"I just… I look in the mirror, and I don’t like what I see," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "I don’t… I don’t feel like I’m enough."
Saying it out loud felt like admitting a terrible secret, something you had been holding onto for too long. But the moment the words left your lips, a strange sense of relief washed over you. It was out now. The truth was out, and you couldn’t take it back.
You half-expected Remy to brush it off, to tell you that you were being ridiculous, that you were beautiful and didn’t need to feel this way. But instead, he was quiet for a moment, his hand still resting gently on your arm. Then, he stepped in front of you, his gaze soft and unwavering as he looked into your tear-filled eyes.
His brow furrowed even more, and he reached out to gently take your hands in his, uncrossing your arms. His touch was warm and reassuring. "What y' mean by dat, chère?"
You hesitated, biting your lip. The words felt heavy in your mouth, but you forced them out anyway. "I don’t look like the other women you’ve been with. I’m… bigger. And today, I just… I don’t feel good about it. I don’t feel good about me."
There. You said it. The ugly truth that had been gnawing at you all day. You braced yourself for his reaction, for him to say something dismissive or to tell you that you were overthinking it. But instead, Remy’s grip on your hands tightened slightly, and he pulled you gently to your feet.
"Come here, chère," he murmured, his voice soft as he wrapped his arms around you. He held you close, his chin resting on top of your head as he stroked your back soothingly. "I been waitin' t' say this for a while, but y’ve never given me the chance."
You blinked, surprised by the tenderness in his tone. "What do you mean?"
He pulled back slightly, just enough to look down into your eyes. His expression was serious, more serious than you were used to seeing on his face. "I don’t care 'bout that. I don’t care 'bout what other people think. Y' beautiful, cherie, jus' the way y' are. And I need y' to believe that."
You opened your mouth to protest, to tell him that he didn’t understand, that it wasn’t that simple. But he silenced you by placing a finger against your lips, his eyes soft but unwavering.
"I know y' don’t always see it, but I do," he continued, his voice low and sincere. "Y' think I’m wit' y' because I want someone who looks like everybody else? Non, chère. I’m wit' y' because y' one of a kind. Ain’t nobody else like y', and that’s what I love 'bout y'."
Tears welled up in your eyes again, but this time they weren’t from sadness. They were from the overwhelming warmth of his words, from the realization that he truly, deeply meant what he was saying. You had always known Remy was kind and compassionate, but hearing him say these things to you, looking at you like you were the most precious thing in the world, made your heart ache in the best way.
"But I don’t always feel beautiful," you admitted, your voice shaky. "I don’t always feel like I’m enough."
Remy’s expression softened even more, and he cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs gently brushing away the tears that had fallen. "Then let me remind y', every day if I have to. I’ll tell y' a thousand times if that’s what it takes. Because y' are enough. Always have been, always will be."
You let out a shaky breath, leaning into his touch. His words wrapped around you like a warm blanket, soothing the raw edges of your insecurities. It wasn’t as simple as snapping your fingers and feeling better, but with Remy’s arms around you, it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders.
"You’re too good to me," you whispered, resting your forehead against his chest.
"No, chère," he murmured against your hair, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "I’m jus' tellin' y' the truth."
For a moment, you stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s arms, the world outside your room fading away. Remy’s presence was so grounding, so steady, that you felt the storm inside you begin to calm. The insecurities were still there, lingering in the background, but they didn’t feel as loud anymore. Not with him here, reminding you that you were more than enough.
After a while, Remy pulled back just enough to look down at you again, his signature roguish grin returning to his face. "Now, how 'bout we go out, eh? I promise y' gon' have a good time. An' if not, we can come right back home, no questions asked."
You managed a small smile, the warmth of his words still lingering in your chest. "Okay," you said quietly. "Let’s go."
Remy’s grin widened, victorious but gentle. "That’s my girl." He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before stepping back and grabbing his coat from the chair. "An' for the record, chère, y' look damn good."
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t fight the smile that tugged at your lips. "You’re unbelievable."
"Maybe," he winked, shrugging on his coat with a flourish.
As you followed him out the door, hand in hand, you couldn’t shake the warmth that spread through your chest. The insecurities were still there, lingering at the edges of your mind, but they didn’t feel as overwhelming anymore. Not with Remy by your side, reminding you that you didn’t have to be anyone else. You were enough, just as you were—and that was more than enough for him.
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halfwayhearted · 2 days
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Arda Güler fic where he feels you are being distant and starts to overthink which leads to him asking if you were going to break up with him out of nowhere and it causes a small argument…. angst to comfort perhaps. Get back to me as soon as possible. Thank you for your time!☀️
Velvet Mood — Arda Güler.
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Pairing: Arda Güler x Fem!Reader
Summary: Something’s on his mind, and you don’t know what it is. You’re determined to find out; you just didn’t think it’d be about whether or not you’re planning to break up with him.
Word Count: 810+
Disclaimer/s — Nothing, angst to comfort!
A/N: I’M ILL. THIS. + their argument wasn’t what I had hoped but I lowkey got stumped so, let’s knock it off. Thank.
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Arda was distant. Too distant. It worried you a lot.
It all began when you came home one day, utterly exhausted from a long day at work. You longed for nothing more than a shower, some food, and to collapse into bed. That was all you could muster.
Arda brushed a hand over your hair, and you felt the soft touch of his lips against your temple. “Hey, how was work? I didn’t hear you come in.”
“‘M tired,” you grumbled, “It was very grueling.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Do you want to watch some TV?”
Your eyes flutter shut, and you shake your head in response to his question. “Not now, please.”
It was a small, simple response, yet it had him thinking the absolute worst. Most days, you’d agree and just fall asleep with your head resting lazily against his chest and your legs thrown over his lap. But to receive a ‘Not now, please’?
It was… different. He didn’t quite like it at all.
Since then, the things you used to do were starting to become memories. A simple thought now captured the feeling of contentment.
You tried to talk to him. He simply brushed it off. Brushed you off. In all honesty, you were slowly becoming tired of it. Day by day. Like a routine.
Today would likely end the same way. You’d try to talk to him, he’d give you nothing to work with, and then you’d call it a night. You’ve fought. Maybe not subtly, but you still fought. Tried to.
“Arda,” you started softly, “How was your day?”
His eyebrows raised for just a split second before he shrugged his shoulders. You saw the way his jaw clenched, it confused you. “It was fine. You?”
“Fine, too. Can… I want to talk to you about—”
That was when he uttered your name, cutting you off, “Listen, are you going to break up with me?”
What? You voiced your exact thoughts, “What?”
“Are you?” He echoed, his voice firm. Though you could tell he was clearly upset. Arda was upset.
You were at a complete loss for words. The only question that escaped your lips, filled with curiosity, was, “Where is this coming from? Did I do something, Arda? I need you to talk to me.”
Did I do something, you had asked. He could’ve laughed. “Did you? Or, did I do something.”
“No, you didn’t do anything. Where is this—I’m confused, why is this even a question? I love you, you know that. So, where is this coming from?”
“Don’t give me that,” the man sighed, averting his gaze. “You’ve changed. You seem tired. Tired with me. Of me. And if that’s the case, I need to know.”
‘Tired of me.’ Tired of him? You were never tired of him. You never have been, and you were sure you never would be. Ever. Your job had been weighing you down, of course, but you never thought it’d slowly but surely impact your relationship like this with your boyfriend. It never crossed your mind.
You felt a crushing weight of guilt in your heart.
Taking a step toward him, you began, “I’m not tired of you. And… no, I’m not breaking up with you. God, never that, okay? I’ve been working extra hours, and it’s starting to take its toll on me. I didn’t mean to put you in that position. I don’t want you to keep thinking that. Trust me when I say that I love you. Because I do. So much.”
His expression softened at your explanation. You weren’t planning on breaking up with him. Arda couldn’t help but feel a little foolish. He knew the promotion you got would have its effect. He just didn’t realize how worn out it’d make you.
It all started to make sense. Oh, how dumb.
The brunette felt his entire body relax and let out a breath. “I’m sorry. I should’ve just asked you. I didn’t mean to just let it out. Put you on the spot.”
“No, no, hey, I’m glad that you did,” you assured, quickly lifting your hand and using it to cup his jaw. “I’m glad that you did. I wouldn’t have found out how you felt. How about we make one of those calendars? We can set, like, dates, and days where it’ll be dedicated to just us. How’s that?”
“You’d let me know if you’re too tired for them?”
A smile slowly spread across your face, “I would.”
Arda hums softly at that, leaning down to place a gentle peck to your temple. He slowly wrapped his arms around you, drawing you closer to him.
“I’m really starting to hate your job,” he muttered.
And you laughed. Of course he did. He would. All you did was let out a laugh, “But, you love me.”
The Güler man hummed once more, “I love you.”
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Likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated ^_^.
DT(s) — @pedrilcvr ! ౨ৎ
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vodika-vibes · 2 days
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Hiiiii!
Congrats on the 800 followers, it's awesome! 🤩
I'd like to request a Fox'ikaxReader (fem or gn, your choice 💗) with the movie marathon prompt, and let it be so fluffy like a cotton candy 🥺🥹💗
Thank yooouuu 🦊💗
Tonight
Summary: When you have to cancel date night due to circumstances beyond your control, you expect Fox to be angry. You don’t expect him to show up anyway.
Pairing: Commander Fox x GN!Reader
Word Count: 814
Prompt: Movie Marathon
Warnings: None
A/N: Thank you! And thank you for the request! I hope you like it~
Click HERE to be added to my taglist
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You sniffle and bury yourself under another fleece blanket as you shiver.
It’s not fair. You had tonight's date planned for weeks, planned almost to the minute. And yet, when you woke up this morning, it was with a fever, a sore throat, and body aches.
Serves you right for ignoring your grandmother’s warning about her being sick and visiting her anyway.
And, while you were willing to take drugs and push through the illness, when Fox called you to ask when you wanted him to arrive for your date, he could tell that you were sick.
You didn’t even have the energy to argue against him when he told you that your health was more important than dinner.
He didn’t even sound disappointed, or maybe he did. Your head hurts too much to think about it too much.
You start when your doorbell rings. You’re not expecting company. Not anymore, at least.
But, even so, you roll off the couch and drape your fleece blanket around you like a cape, and walk over to the door. A press of a button unlocks the door, and another button allows the door to slide open, and you squint at the man on the other side of the door.
You really should have put your glasses back on.
Even without your glasses, though, you’re still able to recognize Fox.
“What are you doing here?” You ask, startled. Though you do move out of the way to let him in your home.
“I wanted to see you.” His reply is simple, “Besides, no one should be alone when they’re sick.” Fox holds up the canvas bag that he’s carrying, “I bring soup and movies.”
You blink at him, dumbly, for a moment. “You didn’t have to do that.”
A cool hand presses against your burning cheek and the noise you release can only be called a purr as you lean into the only comfortable thing you’ve felt all day.
Fox laughs, it’s a quiet and affectionate sound and you peer up at him. He’s standing close enough that he’s not blurry, and the look on his face—
Well, it’s reminiscent of the way that your dad looks at your mom when she’s not paying attention.
But you’re not quite able to handle that thought, so you push it to the side and focus on the more important comment he made, “You brought food?”
“I did.” Fox gently nudges you further into your apartment, “Go lay down, cyare.” 
Obediently, you stumble back to the couch and shove some of the many blankets to the floor so you’re able to sit on the actual couch. You grab your glasses and place them back on your face so you’re able to watch Fox properly.
“You’re sleeping on the couch?” He asks from the kitchen, where he appears to be sorting soup into two bowls.
“I tried resting in bed, but it felt like a boulder was lying on my chest,” You reply honestly. Though you regret your honesty when he crosses the room and kneels at your feet, his hand moving to press against your forehead.
“Do I need to call my medic to come and take a look at you?”
“I’m fine. It’s just a cold.”
He doesn’t believe you but accepts your words as fact for now. And then he returns to the kitchen and grabs the two bowls before he returns to your side. “I bought it from a place not far from here.” Fox explains, “Just eat what you can.”
“I don’t think I can eat two bowls,” You point out.
Fox laughs again, “Well, good. Because one of those belongs to me.”
“You’re staying? I thought—”
“What? That I would drop off soup and movies and let you fend on your own?” You feel his hand smooth over your hair, and you feel a surge of affection for the man who hasn’t sat down just yet, “Just because we had to cancel our formal date, doesn’t mean that we can’t still have a date.”
Great, now you want to cry because of how sweet he’s being.
“You…uh…you said you brought movies?”
“Yeah, I raided Thorn’s collection. I haven’t seen any of them.” Fox lifts the small device, “Though, Thorn really only watches horror movies, I hope you don’t mind.”
You shake your head, “You’re here to protect me.”
“Well, you’re not wrong about that.”
Half an hour later, you’re sprawled across Fox’s chest while the pair of you watch one of Thorn’s movies. Well, Fox is watching it, you’re more asleep than awake, your ear pressed over his heart.
He doesn’t seem all that bothered that you’re covered in blankets, or that you’re not really paying attention to the movies. And his hand slowly strokes your back, slowly easing you into slumber.
It’s not the date you had planned, but somehow it’s so much better.
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galpalaven · 5 months
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why is taking a speaking test for english so scary i am always like oh god theyre gonna know i dont speak english
i do. i do speak english. i only speak english.
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fiendishartist2 · 1 year
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its past midnight and here i am planning a sweater i have neither the materials nor funds to make
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downsteepy · 2 months
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i am very grateful that im not someone that has to deal with daily seizures but it is evil when it takes like a week and a half's worth of business days to recover from a seizure
#if i had them everyday or every other day i would be so fucked 😭#id like to say they dont bother me per se but the entire week after is laying in bed after 11 pm and wondering if jts going to happen again#bc my head feels like its about to explode#and then do not get me started on the fear of getting in the shower within the first few days of one happening .#reasonably i understand that my seizures happen from 11pm to maybe 3 am on average .#but ill have a seizure and then have to hype myself up for like 2 hours just to take one 3 days later st like 2 pm#my seizures do not interfere with my day to day life in extreme ways but existing knowing that i have them during a certain time frame is#like. Hey man can you grow up#also it is really funny being told theyre probably hormonal or stress related and should 'probably stop' as i get into my mid 20s .#Well im turning 25 next month and evidently i still have seizure activity in me#also also heres a fun fact: my epilepsy does not have an actual named diagnosis they just said i certainly have a Form of it ❤️#they dont know what causes them and i have no real warning signs (bc a headache =/= potential seizure)#they dont bother me but i do have to live with the knowledge that i could have one any day now and wake up to my mom asking me questions#hope everyone can tell i have a lot of feelings about my epilepsy despite not talking about it like ever ❤️#the only thing that really bothers me is the no warning signs. ive been perfectly fine and had them. ive had massive migraines when i was#unmedicated and didnt have one. very bizarre#and ofc all my brain scans come back normal all the time so they dgaf Lol
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sleepy-stitches · 5 months
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my brain is so evil. why do i have no energy to clean my room. why does it all go to writing weird fucked up yuri. like why am i sitting here enraptured heart and soul by a piece of writing that was meant to be a fragment at best but i am discovering has three entire parts to it. why is that where we are at. i need to clean my fucking room
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rox-of-iu · 8 months
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Hey, just felt called to let you know that your MQF from SVSSS doodles give me such life and inspired how I write MQF in my fics. I love how you depict him and your art style is so refreshing and cute!
Just thought you should know. Hope you have a good day!
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HELLO HI THANK YOU SO MUCH??? 😭😭😭💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 GLAD TO BE OF SERVICE HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY OR NIGHT
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toastsnaffler · 3 months
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yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...
#well thats okay. eventually itll come up naturally. and if not well. it doesnt make me feel very okay. but its not a big deal#and i guess ill meet ppl in the future who will curate a different idea of me and maybe therell be fewer misunderstandings#<- coward who CAN communicate to save their life but not in any lower stakes situation for their happiness n quality of life#we <3 repression n insecurity. maybe if i keep digging at the corner of this bit of the labyrinth with my spoon ill get out someday 😌#anyway.. theres my daily vague vent post got it out of my system#wanted to do it earlier but ended up not having much time after work n then called friends which was nice :^)#also i never have signal at work these days.. my boss has said shell get me on the staff wifi tho cuz i do need it for work reasons#its rare to need it for work purposes bc we all use work pcs n stuff anyway and not rly supposed to use mobiles in the lab#but yeahh.. god i have so much admin shit to sort out also gotta text family back before i sleep i forgot to earlier#its all good.. also my memory foam pillows turned up so i no longer have to steal my roomies extra one for my neck pain <3#ik she was missing it... not to sound like a creep but it was nice that it smelled like her a little. just familiar innit#we're always around each other so its just what being home smells like to me.. listen i have a sensitive nose 😔✋️#if we were a lot closer i would ask if i could sleep in her bed while shes away but we're not so it would come across sooo weird..#and i would feel rly weird abt someone sleeping in my own room without me there. well maybe not actually. as long as they werent snooping#<- guy whose mother used to go thru their shit all the time n struggles to not feel paranoid and distrustful when it comes to privacy#was thinking recently my ideal living situation w a partner would be separate rooms but we still share the bed sometimes#but not every night bc im a sensitive sleeper... but we can switch bedding so i can still smell them if i wake up in the night alone#like how new mothers trying to get babies used to cot sleeping each have a cloth or blanket and swap every night#so the baby is comforted by the blankets smell and sleeps more peacefully.. and momma finds it easier being apart from the baby too#sorry this is getting gooey and weird my meds have been wearing off the last couple hours im so sleeppyyyy 😭#well.... maybe everything can wait until tomorrow..... bed is calling..#goodnight everyone muah#.diaries
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dullahandyke · 14 days
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Neglecting my course registration responsibilities to ooh and ahh at compact drying racks on home store and more. Look at this cute little thing
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[ID: a promotional photo of a compact drying rack.]
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crows-of-buckets · 3 months
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Sometimes all of my ocs decide they wanna do laps in my head all at the same time so I just end up sitting there like "I want to draw tyrian and Daeran, and Aviae and Morrigan, and Lucio and Anders, and Selene and Sera, and my other Hawkes and my other warden and-" and then none of it happens
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arolesbianism · 4 months
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Cons of updating the wiki: I have to actually figure out what the fuck is up with "a seed is planted"
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girl-bateman · 4 months
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Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍
#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all#literally my soul is gone or something#i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed#which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually.#ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better#alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off#like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot#like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy#moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously#but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends#i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help#idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho#like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me !#so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback#kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk#it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore#but who knows 🤷‍♀️#there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol#that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown#like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way#and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever#and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality#plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good#but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you#but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !
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infizero · 5 months
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grgrhgahahh i wanna read more pokespe but i cant do it on my phone and im not unpacking my stuff until the morning
#this is not a real issue i am plenty entertained rn and also am going to be going#to bed soon anyways. i just am rlly in pksp mood#im in a pkmn mood in general lol ive been reading reguri fics as previously stated#but also i got back into legends arceus earlier today which i havent played in TWO YEARS. which is crazy#and man i fucking loveee playing pkmn i rlly hope they make the next#mainline game not half baked. i didnt get scarlet and violet bcuz of that :(#i had a playthrough of it in the bg but. its not the same#it makes me sad that im not up to date like i dont know any of the new#pokemon i dont know anything about SV's region or characters or story#i want to though. maybe ill get around to actually sitting down and watching a playthrough at some point#i also want to get caught up with pokespe in my reread so my first#experience w SV might be thru spe. which is weird to think about#thats never been the case for me with a pkmn game before#i mean. in terms of just being familiar w the game not playing it myself#i have not played every mainline pkmn game lol#my first one was pokemon pearl. which i never beat. but after that i#got alpha sapphire which i was CRAZYYYY obsessed with. i played that game to the bone til there was#literally nothing left to do other than grind to lvl 100 for the hell of it#pokemon moon is INCREDIBLY special to me for a number of reasons#mainly that it was my first pkmn game that i ANTICIPATED. i remember watching the trailers#over and over. every time they dropped new info i was eating it up. i remember when the starters final evos#were finally revealed i was so excited. and ofc the INSANITY that was the red and blue reveal. good times#but yes i similarly played the shit out of moon til there was nothing left to do. and it was the first one#where i was INCREDIBLY invested in the story. i cared and still care about the alola casrt#soooooo much they were literallyyy my friends. i drew them sooo much. and ofc lillie was one of my#most specialest little blorbos ever. i was in LOVE with her as a kid. it was serious#anyways and then i played pokemon sword which i also love dearly. i beat the main game but i#actually still havent finished the dlc.... but i also care very deeply about the galar cast and drew them a lot as well#and thats all not mentioning from my years long obsession with pokespe lol. but anyways yes#serena.txt
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