#....BITCH IM NOT HAVING SEX | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gotta-bail-my-quails · 2 years

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i literally swore to God to never have a boyfriend in front of my mom and my parents STILL talk as if i will get married one day

#i dont say girlfriend bcuz idk if theyre homophobic #but gotdAM #its always you never know or when you get married #recently dad said he'll spank the hell out of me if i dare to get pregnant before marriage #....BITCH IM NOT HAVING SEX #STOP TALKING LIKE I WILL CHANGE MY MIND I WONT #aroace #asexual #aromantic #its so fucking annoying #anyways i dont wanna catch anyone ever actin like allos (cishets specifically) force their allosex/ro lifestyles on others #'oh its no big deal if youre ace its like being celibate' FUCK THAT #I DONT HAVE A CHOICE IN THIS AND NOTHING WILL CHANGE THAT #IM NOT A CISHET THAT CHOSE NOT TO HAVE SEX I LITERALLY CANT FEEL THE DESIRE TO DO IT WITH PEOPLE #i meant dont force whoops

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toytulini · 1 year

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listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

get a better joke

#toy txt post #god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones #let it flop..........pls #internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop #i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having #1 million bajillion disclaimers #virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word #disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word #grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used #to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023 #and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like #im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild #i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good'#like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you #but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches'#'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay #god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil #but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful #and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like #hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine #and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr #and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like #and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay #its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat #? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty?#you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right #stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny #whatever #if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll #i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.

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ygamiraito · 3 months

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the #1 front runner in the sassy man apocalypse

#thank you buck for giving me this post idea. you are an angel and im laughing so hard #HE IS SOOO SASSY #harlan you better werk bitch #i have no mouth and i must scream #ihnmaims #am #am ihnmaims #allied mastercomputer #harlan ellison #a boy and his dog #repent harlequin #love aint nothing but sex misspelled

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mamawasatesttube · 26 days

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fucked up that there aren't more sappy fluffy tender emotional t4t smut fics in the timkon tag. must i do everything myself

#rimi talks #that red sun wip has been in my wip folder since february 😭#sometimes a bitch has a cold and wants to lie in bed and read something about sappy fluffy feelings. and yet.#im like. ace?spec? idk exactly like definitely some form of ace but i enjoy sex in fiction for The Feelings. the vulnerability. etc #unfortunately there's like 3 fics in the timkon tag not by me that are both About Feelings *and* have trans hcs or funky alien biology. sad!#where is the best friends to lovers t4t fluffporn i ask you. 5000+ fics in this tag and fucking yet #SIGHS........... when i get out of bed i guess ill keep picking away at that red sun piece but until then. i need snzz.

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fizzaro11i · 4 months

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the main thing i took away from full moon is that fizzarolli is forklift certified

#helluva boss #fizzarolli #im not crying bitch i have a super rare condition #dr sex jester #hb spoilers #i guess? lol

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massiveladycat · 18 days

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with all due respect for proshippers, which is none, you disgust me. you're so obsessed with shipping incest it's like you think the only thing that makes a good plot is siblings swapping spit. i wouldn't trust you with human decency. and let's talk about that teacher x student romance, that's just sad, bro. like, seriously, do you not know the difference between romance and actual fucked up shit? you're the kind of person who thinks a minor x adult relationship is just "forbidden love" when it's really just a predator grooming their victim. you actively sexualize things that have happened to real people, things that have traumatized people and things that have changed their lives. you actively justify sexualizing children, sexualizing rape, sexualizing non-con. you're disgusting and i would be disappointed if i could ever birth a child like you. go get a life that doesn't revolve around supporting abusive dynamics and predatory behavior. nobody wants to be associated with you. just remember, while you're out here being a proshipper, the rest of us are actually respecting people who know the meaning of consent and respect. it doesn't MATTER if you think fiction has no effect on real life. it's so horrible that you think your pedophilia fanfics and abusive ships have no impact on anyone. do you know how many people you will hurt by going out there, writing some fanfic that tells them that everything that happened to them was okay and right? that there's a group of people that think what happened to them was hot? that if they put their story out there, there's a chance that you may sexualize them or justify their abuser? that they should've enjoyed it? fuck you. fuck every proshipper that tries to justify themselves with 'whimsy' or 'just fun.' fuck you.

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quietwingsinthesky · 7 months

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see my brain just doesn’t register the idea of anyone having a ‘one true love’ which is why the common fandom tropes of making canonical love interests terrible in order to justify why your ship is better always bugs the shit out of me. it feels like the only reason you would do that is if the idea of the characters in your ship having any other sort of romantic relationship that was important to them, even in the past, is a threat to their current one, therefore all their past relationships need to be demonized in order to make them ‘not real love’ so that they remain pure and chaste and ready for the True Love of the endgame ship.

#im not crazy right like other people notice that trope ajd get annoyed by it right #its a very weird trope to be so common from my perspective because like. why not just. break up the couple you dont want.#for reasons that arent ‘i made this person into a charicature of themselves to justify why my blorbo would have never actually loved them’#you know? its weird. its weird right?#and then of course there’s the offshoot of this that intersect with fandom misogyny where that demonized person is usually the female love #interest. or sometimes not even that. sometimes she was just standing there a little too close to one of the guys and that made people feel #insecure about their ship so they make her a bitch. gwen cooper. im. im talking about gwen cooper. people do this to gwen cooper and ill #never know peace about that.#anyway. is there a word for like. heteronormativity for monogomous people. because thats what i think this falls under.#because it is a very. like its a very conservatively monogomous idea. i feel like it is not unrelated to christian values of not having sex #before you’re married. that maybe someone in fandom might manage to ditch that particular ruleset to make their blorbos fuck nasty but NOT #the underlying idea of it that you can only ever have One Person you share that love and intimacy with. so you still end up perpetuating the #same toxic beliefs. you know? sorry im rambling it just annoys me

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onlyjellyillputinmybelly · 2 months

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Youre telling me that these bitches made perhaps the most pansexual characters ever and NONE OF YOU ARE MAKING THEM HAVE SEX??? OR KISS?? OR NOTHIN?? COME ON YALL GET ON IT

#Specifically written about never stop blowing up and the fact that every d20 fic is fucking jace x porter when theres so much fuckn potentia #THESE BITCHES WERE BUILT FOR T4T #COME ONNNN #also WRITE MORE WLW SHIT PLEEEAASEEE #dimension 20 #never stop blowing up #shoutout kingskin for being the pansexual ever #Im talking to you fanfic writers i need to read shit about these bitches lmao #And dont be mad at me abt aroace erasure i am aroace and i dont care i need these bitches to have absolutely hardcore sex #For my entertainment specifically

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imnotpayingforurtherapy · 2 months

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Dazai: *Drags yet another stray cat that wouldn't let go on his pantleg to Chuuya's place and forces him to let them keep it* DONT CALL IT THAT T-T

Chuuya: I PAY RENT I CAN CALL HIM WHATEVER I WANT, GET OVER HERE AND CLEAN YOUR MESS MACKEREL-THE-SHITTER-KUN *while cleaning the cat's shit off of the carpets he just cleaned*

#Based on a true story #I invited my friend over earlier and while we were walking to a cafe she picked up some random kitten off the side of the road #We brought him home and let em run around while we trued to figure out wtf to do with it #CW: shit #I LAID OUT NEWSPAPERS EVERYWHER #EVERYWHERE.#AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER DECIDES TO LIQUID SHAT ON MY FUCKING CARPETS #THAT I JUST VACUUMED AND SPOT CLEANED #I WAS SO FUCKING PISSED #anyways we gave it to one of her friends for the night so she's gonna take it to the vet and shelter tomorrow 😀👍#The reason we didn't keep it:#My family and I rent the house and landlord has a strict no pets #I fucking hate animals (Cronic fear of shit.... LIKE BAD) so any bodily functions is a no❤️#Also the reason i refuse to have sex or share a bathroom #and my friend who found the cat can't have animals #BRO IM ACTUALLY STILL SHAKING GOD #LIKE ITS NOT THAT DEEP IT WAS LEGIT JUST KITTEN SHIT BUT I LEGIT CANT SLEEP #PHOTOGRPHIC MEMORY IS A BITCH T-T #UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #Gonna read fanfiction and sob #bungou stray dogs #bsd #soukoku #inp4ut insomnia rambles

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swiftfootedachilles · 9 months

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Mickey the type to be sitting quietly during a Gallagher sibling argument and suddenly go, "Wrap this up so I can fucked!"

no yeah i can definitely see him saying something like this just to annoy and disgust all the gallaghers. "okay we're ending this family meeting NOW. my husband promised me we would try out our new handcuffs tonight so i dont have time for this shit" or "shut the fuck up and go back to your own house lip its twenty minutes past my scheduled blowjob time i could have blown at least 2 loads in the time you two've been bitching at each other" then he physically drags ian out of the room. his entire life's goal is to bother his in-laws as much as humanly possible

#just trying so hard to piss everybody off #half the time they don't even have sex after he was only saying that to disgust everyone #tami complains that hes disgusting and only does it when he (or whoever hes siding with) is losing an argument and mickey literally #literally plugs his ears and goes 'blah blah blah sorry i cant hear you over the sound of incessant bitching rupturing my eardrums'#im not even being a mickey stan with this rn hes genuinely just a huge asshole #asks #anonymous #shameless #gallavich

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healpimp · 10 months

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If you are ever in doubt wether my posts with demo and soldier interacting are boots n bombs or not i promise you it is intended to be fully and utterly homosexual

#They might not always be balls-slapping-the-taint deep in each other when i draw them #but i assure you its boots n bombs #i draw them like how masashi kishimoto draws naruto and sasuke #never not thinking abt the other when drawing them #like do i have to draw them cumming in every hole before you are convinced its gay. look at them barbara.#do you think its galpal time when i use the half-zatoichi as the sword that kills soldier.#do u think i chose the katna cus i thought it was the coolest sword. or my fav sword to use.#no. im a bottle bitch.#you think i use THE gayest sword in tf2. the one that can oneshot 2 specific classes if they also carry the sword.#just so you can assume its a best friend thing.#i use the half-zatoichi bc that shit is gayer than gay sex #like wydm they can kill each other in one shot. homosexual behavior.#theyve killed each other so many times now that they have intimate knowledge of each others bodies #they know what to aim for to kill them. how to ngle the sword just so.#cross faction icons.#the blood and gore and violence is a hyper masculine way of them baring themselves to each other without having to commit #the danger and pain and betrayal that awaits when theyre openly and unapologetically friendly and close w each other #the fact when they WERE open abt it they were punished #they had to choose between their job and their friend and without the staged betrayal #without the lies fed to them they would have chosen friend #and you know the job is important to both of them #enjoyable even #bnb CAN be loveydovey picnic at the park #but its not all it is #its the war where they tear each other apart thinking the other is in the wrong #its their fear of committing again #its their festering image of what the other did and the inability to even attempt to clear it up till its too late #and its the way they can bounce back from it #because theyre gay barbara theyre homosexual

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twistedlovelines · 19 days

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you show the boys ur vibrator that looks like a lipstick and they're all varying levels of gagged

#what do you MEAN they can look like that...#sebek isn't even familiar with sex toys. you've given that man levels of paranoia you will never understand .#ace makes fun of you but next time u do ur makeup he's not-so-subtly looking at your bag and wondering if any other of your things are toys #deuce is flabbergasted. he's happy for u . he really is . but they can be that small??? how powerful is it?? ...is it better than him HUSDF #hes not gonna hate on you for having one but he lowk gets motivated to work harder when pleasuring you from that point onward #riddle is so .#i mean . as long as u clean it .#trey turns it on IMMEDIATELY lmao he wants to see how it does and how he could possibly use it on u #AWUHGHHHHH NEED TO WRITE HEADCANNONS ABOUT THESE BITCHES DISCOVERING YOUR TOYS IM SO SICK #nsfvv #moth.txt

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cloudysarts · 6 months

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it drives me insane that every issue in this show could be solved by the protags just FUCKING COMMUNICATING!!!!!!!! TALK TO EACH OTHER LIKE ADULTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~i dont support vivziepop or her shows + this art/redesign is from my rewrite~

unblurred version under the cut

pssst if youre reading this you should check out my hh/hb critical/general reblog blog over at @fizzbot ‼

#Helluva Boss #Helluva Boss Redesigns #Helluva Boss Critical #Blitzo #blitzø #Blitz #Stolas Goetia #Stolitz #I GUESS. i fucking hate canon stolas/stolitz fr #BLITKER SWEEP they shouldve been canon. fuck you stolas and your dumbass sex contract. i hope he explodes #manifesting they break up next ep 🙏#i made blitz geen. cause hes from envy. in my heart #im not the first to have the 'imps colorcoded to their rings' idea but every other one ive seen #puts blitz in 'pride' ??? ive seen lust too whuch makes a little more sense #but like. his whole fucking arc is that hes a jealous bitch. also WHY IS GREED THE GREEN RING IN CANON?#my blitz is literally 'green with envy'.#anyway. sorry mutuals for posting another viv**ziepop show piece. it might happen again #im kind of super hyperfixated on '''fixing''' these series atm #Rainbow Dash #for the little horsey on his mirror :3c #oh i also gave blitz hair. controversial ik #i dont care that hes bald. its ugly and a stupid design chocie objectively #cloudysarts

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moodr1ng · 12 days

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less than 40 days until phalloplasty.. impatient ofc but also ik its gonna suck as all surgeries do lol..

#97 #its difficult to be only excited when ik recovery is gonna be painful and gross #but still mostly excited #hilariously the thing im most concerned about is.#for the first week they need to keep it raised. so basically im gonna be in the hospital looking like im fully hard for a whole week.#and thats gonna be so humiliating every time i see a doctor or nurse lol.#but well such is life #this means im about a year away from fully done phalloplasty #and a few more months from getting bitches yeahhhhh #girls who can only give head or finger somebody comfortably and are finally gonna be able to have normal enjoyable sex..#rise up!

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quietwingsinthesky · 4 months

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i must say. mr simm obviously makes every scene he’s in very fun and delightful. but. idk. this does not feel quite like my cat from end of time. there’s a weird sorta disconnect here. i guess to emphasize how different missy is from him?

#there are moments where im like oh yeah thats him and then other moments where im like. :/ would he fucking say that.#im Not talking about him being a bitch. that is him. he would absolutely be mean to bill for being cybermanned.#but. idk. how to explain it.#does anyone else get this vibe or am i completely alone here maybe im just. eh.#you know maybe it is that they ditched the drums? because that was Such a thing for his character it was an underlying motivator the entire #time. and i mean you really had a chance i think to do something post-end of time with them because what do you do when the thing tormenting #you served its purpose. failed. and you still have to live with it.#but yeah i guess we don’t have to do that. or think about why he went off to gallifrey in end of time the last time the doctor saw him.#i guess we don’t have to. make him really react to the doctor the way he did before. that’s fine. i’m. it’s fine. he’s too busy having gay #sex with himself its fine.#dw lb #dw 10x12

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caramelmochacrow · 1 month

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I AM THROWINTG HANDS WITH NINTENDO WHERE DID THE MATURE RATING FOR ELDORADO COME FROM IS IT VECAUSE NANA STABS JUNN AAGA!?!?!?!?! AAAAAAAAAAAA

#crow talks #revue starlight #I OPENED THE FUCKING INSPECTION THING IN MY LAPTOP LMFAO--#I'm in my music class someone help me I need to get el dorado NOW #it's 23 DOLLAS IN MY COUNTRY LET ME FUCKIN G HAVING IT #BITCH BITCH BITCH IM GONNA #I have a few questions for revcord. lmao.#I need to ask this so my parents know there is no sex in that game so I c an play it #can you tell I'm typing rlly fast rn--

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