#i meant dont force whoops

[gotta-bail-my-quails]

i literally swore to God to never have a boyfriend in front of my mom and my parents STILL talk as if i will get married one day

[steampoweredskeleton]

.

Ignore

[inlovewithfictionalmen7]

I'm Sorry Mommy

this is my first attempt at writing smut so im sorry if its bad haha

Rafe Cameron x fem!reader 

summery: a day out golfing dosent end well when y/n over hears something the boys are talking about.

warnings: oral,sub!Rafe, Rafe crying, kinda mean reader, fem!reader, dom!reader.

word count: 1,807

————————————-<3————————————

y/n and rafe were at the country club golfing with topper and kelce. y/n isn't supper into golfing but she loves spending time with rafe so she's down for anything even if that meant standing in the hot sun while her boyfriend played his sport with his friends so be it.  

“Hey babe can you go get us some more drinks please?” Rafe asks her nicely while lining up for his swing. “Yeah of course.”she says, smiling at him and walking away. Before she can get to far though she hears topper and kelce laughing so she stops for a sec to hear what they say 

“Man rafe she's like your little bitch huh” kelce says slapping Rafes back then topper jumps in “oh bro i bet she's just worships you in bed and lets you use her” y/n narrows her eyes hoping rafe would change the topic because they both know whos in charge behind closed doors, but her hopes are proven useless as she hears “oh yeah man she's like the biggest slut in bed. I love it” leave her boyfriend's mouth. The boys let out some whoops. 

y/n finally goes up and gets their drinks, heading back to the boys, smiling as she hands topper and kelce's theirs, but when she turned her back to face rafe her smile dropped bringing his drink to her lips she takes a sip looking him straight in the eyes before spitting in his cup, smiling and handing it to him. The look on his face tell her, he knows that she heard him and that he was fucked.

The drive home was silent for the most part. Rafe looked over at y/n every once and awhile while she was looking out the window. He knew he was in trouble but he didnt know how he was gonna be punished and that scared him.

After Rafe pulled into his driveway and turned off the truck they sat there in silence for a couple minutes before he tried to speak “baby-” but he's cut off by y/n  “go upstairs to your room and strip.”  she turns to him, grabbing his face making him look at her. Oh god she does not look happy. Rafe thought to himself  “and dont you fucking dare touch yourself” she stated before shoving his face away and getting out of the truck. Rafe doesn't say anything as he gets out and follows her inside not wanting to make his punishment worse. 

As he heads to the stairs he notices y/n heading for the kitchen. “y/n? Where are you going?” he asks cautiously. She stops and looks at him over her shoulder “do as you're told and go up stairs rafe.” she says coldly walking away. Rafe gulps and walks up stairs. In his room he strips and sits on his bed looking at his hard cock, fighting the urge to touch it. Downstairs y/n takes her sweet time getting a cup of water and looking out the window some more just to mess with rafe some more. Taking the last sip of water she turns and heads upstairs 

Rafes head flies up when he hears his door close, he sees his beautiful girlfriend standing there with a very unhappy look on her face. “Now rafe do you wanna tell me why you're being punished?” she says slowly walking towards him. “I-i dont k-know” he stutters looking down at the ground knowing damn well what he did to deserve this, just not wanting to admit it. y/n grabs his chin forcing him to look at her, he whimpers slightly at the sudden movement. “Oh i think you do rafey” y/n says a smirk playing on her lips. Rafe shakes his head, tears coming to his eyes, and his cock twitching. “Something about me being uh, what'd you say the biggest slut in bed, and letting your friends say that about me?” she hums at the end looking at him. His eyes go wide knowing he has no way out of this.

“Im sorry” rafe whimpers before his hairs being pulled back. “I'm sorry what” she says getting so close to his face he could almost feel her lips on his. “I-im s-sorry m-mommy” he says as a blush rises on his cheeks. She smiles at him and pulls away. “What are you sorry for baby” she asks the man in front of her. “For saying stuff that wasn't true about us, a-and l-letting them talk ab-about you like that” rafe cries, “im so sorry mommy!” he says struggling to look and hold eye contact with the woman. 

y/n smiles at him and places a quick kiss on his lips. Pulling away and letting go of his face much more gently than before and instead gripping his rock hard cock, watching as he jumps at the sudden relief. “You've been a very bad boy Rafey” she says slowly stroking his cock making his hips jut up. “Please mommy, I'm sorry” he says before biting his lip. She starts stroking him faster, making him moan and cry. “Mommy can i cum please let me cum. I-ill do anything” he begs the woman as he reaches his climax. 

Right as y/n feels him twitch she pulls her hand away making he cry out in frustration. “Oh did you really think I'd let you off that easily?” She laughs at the poor boy “god you're pathetic” she adds, making him turn his face away from her. “Here's what's gonna happen baby.” she starts as she takes off her shirt and shorts, leaving her in her bra and underwear, while he looks at her with hopeful eyes. 

“I'm going to touch myself, you're going to watch me” she says, taking off her underwear so slowly just to tease the man. “And if you touch yourself i'll leave you like this, do you understand me baby boy”  she unclips her bra letting it slide down her arms exposing her breasts to the needy man. 

“Y-yes i understand” he says hypnotized by her breasts to notice he forgot an important word “yes. What” she says standing in front of him. “Yes mommy” he says looking up at her face with pleading eyes. “Good boy,” she says lightly tapping his cheek before getting on the bed, spreading her legs right in front of Rafe so he has a good view. Rafe lets out a loud whimper when he sees how wet she is. Not thinking he reaches out to touch her however his hand gets slapped away as she tsks at him. 

Bringing her hand to her core she collects some of her wetness before bringing her hand to his mouth. Rafe wasted no time in taking her fingers into his mouth, sucking the juices off them, while moaning. y/n pulls her fingers out of his warm mouth and brings it back to her core. She moans as she rubs her clit. Rafes cock twitches and he watches his girlfriend finger herself. 

When she comes she throws her head back and lets out a loud moan of his name. Causing him to whimper again. “Please mommy it hurts” he begs her as she catches her breath. y/n looks at the pathetic man in front of her. “Hmmm i'm not sure you've earned it yet rafey” she looks at him waiting to see what he says “please let me taste you again mommy please” he begs her just wanting to please her. “Come here sweet boy” she spread her legs again. Putting her leg on his shoulder when he's close enough to her “go ahead please mommy” she encourages after seeing his hesitation. 

He wasted no time in leaning down and licking up her slit gathering all her juices,hearing the beautiful girl moan when he reached her clit. Sucking it into his mouth just the way he knows she likes it. y/n runs her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to her and she grinds her hips into his face. Rafe groans looking up at her face. He loves pleasing y/n, he'd do anything to make up for what he did today. He could tell she was close to coming so he shoved two fingers into her wet core to push her over the edge. Hearing her loud moans he caused. He keeps licking and sucking at her until he feels his hair being pulled back. 

Rafes a panting mess when he comes up, looking at her like she's the most beautiful girl in the world, because in his eyes she was. y/n looks down at her boyfriend before chuckling which confuses rafe “you really are impatient huh rafe” when all she gets in return is a more confused look she continues “you like eating my pussy so much you came from humping your bed and making a huge mess” at that he looks down and sees the mess he made before turning bright red and burying  his face in y/n´s stomach “i'm sorry mommy i-i didn't mean too i swear” he cries scared shes gonna be even more mad and punish him more. Though y/n can tell that he's actually scared and upset so she's not going to keep going…. Tonight anyway. 

She shushes  Rafe while rubbing his head “it's okay, you're okay sweetheart.” when she tries to get up he holds onto her tighter “I'm not going anywhere my love, i'm just getting stuff to clean you up okay?” She asks him to which he nods and reluctantly lets go of her. 

y/n goes to the bathroom getting a washcloth wet after using the bathroom. When she leaves the bathroom she sees rafe hugging his pillow like how he was just holding her and smiles. “Okay love can you roll over for me” she asks rubbing his back, once he does she says “i'm just gonna wipe you down okay? That's it, we're all done for tonight” he nods at her with a small smile on his lips. 

Once he's all clean y/n changes the blankets on the bed and gets a pair of boxers for Rafe to put on, and herself one of his shirts and her underwear. 

Crawling into bed with rafe he grabs onto her and puts his head on her chest “thank you mommy” y/n rubs the back of his neck “not mommy right now my love. Were all done for right now” she kisses his head. y/n does bother telling him they'll continue this later. 

“I love you y/n” Rafe mumbles quietly 

“I love you too Rafey” she says, kissing his head again before they both drift off to sleep. 

[romana-after-dark]

Rooms on Fire: Stop Dragg'n My Heart Around

Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader

Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual

Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist : MainTaglist

Spotify playlist

Summery: Madonna learns more about her role and the dynamics of the household.

Warnings and Content:

DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence.

Extra warnings for chapter: Anal, oral, love bombing, control

This is not meant to be a statement about religion, Christianity, or Catholicism, this is simply my take on a cult. I am a religious person. I understand that some of this may be very offensive to religious people so if you don't like thing like AHS Asylum or Black Mass, maybe consider not reading.

A/N: Every chapter will be named after a song from the spotify playlist. Dont forget to commen fitting songs!!

6.2k words

Support writers! Reblog and leave comments!

NEW OC: Faceclaim, Dev Patel

**************

There's people running 'round loose in the world Ain't got nothing better to do Than make a meal of some bright eyed kid You need someone looking after you~ Stop Dragg'n My Heart Around, Tom Petty and Stevie Nicks

You were the wife of deities. You were blessed, honored. Holy mother. The Madonna, and inside your womb the savior would grow. All four of them were Gods of different patronage, each with their own abilities and passions.

Francisco was the god of nature. He was the god of all that grew in the earth, the soil. the flowers. He was clairvoyant, but also had a gift of growth. Life. His prayers over you would solidify implantation after conception, keep you and your baby safe.

Benjamin was the sun god, god of celebration, and celebrate he did. Ben’s mood often controlled the weather. Most of the time, regular weather patterns took place, Benjamin’s emotions could change them, and he was prone to big emotions. That’s why him and Francisco worked so closely together. Weather and nature, working to keep the crops growing and the people safe.

William was all about duality, you were taught in catechism. God of war, God of medicine. He had the gift of healing, but also impeccable military prowess. This made for a powerful ally and feared enemy. William headed the military and security, but also watched over the medical care. 

And Pope, Divine Mothers only child. Pope had the gift of discernment and prophesy. He was incredibly intelligent, and with that came respect. He was not just born into this position, but born for it. God of family, god of passion. You felt that passion so clearly every time his eyes bore into you. He could no more hide it than he could his own beauty.

So why, with all this power surrounding you, did you feel so scared?

Everything just feels so confusing right now. You feel as if you can’t get your head on straight, like everything is whirling. You're married. You might be pregnant. Why was everything so… hard. When Pope waved your bloodied sheet around, he was soon joined by a whooping Ben who took part in the celebrations and dragged Francisco out with him. It was just you and Will.

Naked and shivering, suddenly cold on the cool tile of the altar without the heat of passion to warm you

“Just one minute, I’ll get you dressed once I’m done.” He says quietly, kneeling before you with a wet wipe, gently dapping at your swollen folds. “Damn, really did a number on yuh, huh?”

You don’t know how to respond, so you don’t.

“Well, I think this is as good as it’s gonna get.” Leaning over, he presses a kiss to the top of your puffy parts and gets up, helping you down with a hand. He slides the dress back over you. William was gentle as he caressed your cheek. “You did so good for us, princess.” His hand moved to your belly. “You’re a good girl, and soon you’ll be full with our baby, I just know it.”

You stand there in shock, unable to exactly form a reaction. The lights were too bright, it was too warm. There were too many flowers and incense and candles and oils… to much. You shut down and Will finishes dressing you: shoes, flower crown minus the ropes of vine. He stuffs your underwear in his pocket with a smile. “My little dividend.”

Jonah was outside the room, laying down on a bench with his cowboy hat pulled over his face.

“Wake up, old man” Will spoke with a bite you weren’t used to.

He mumbled under the hat. “I’m awake, damn. Just resting.”

William nudged you towards where he was standing. “Watch her for the rest of the cocktail hour, then bring her in for the entrance.”

Jonah frowned. “She ain’t going to the cocktail hour with you?”

“What’s the point? She can’t drink. She might be pregnant.”

“It’s her wedding.”

Will rolled his eyes. “She’ll have the wedding shit, this is more of a… stag party. Bachelor party sort of thing.”

You didn't know what that meant. You weren’t sure you wanted to.

“Whatever. I’ll watch her.”

“Yeah. You will.” Williams harsh glare softened as he turned to you, holding your face with both hands. “I’ll see you in an hour, my beautiful bride.”

When he left, Jonah mumbled something and began walking you down the long hall. The place was huge, absolutely massive. The worship chapple and sanctuary were attached to the house, originally built as a pool house but refurbished with the establishment of Delta. Divine Mother wanted her home attached to the sanctuary so she could go whenever she wanted, no matter the weather, so a hall was built on. In addition to the several bedrooms, living rooms and so on, there was a ballroom. This is where you would go after. For now, it seemed, you weren’t needed…

You wanted to go still. You were their wife, you wanted to meet the other members of Delta, you wanted to dance, to laugh, to smile with them… but the day's events left you tired, left you hurting, left you… confused. Why had they all left you so fast, save for Will?

“You alright, honey?” Jonah’s voice barely registers in your ear.

You don’t have it in you to answer, simply staring straight ahead as your breathing picks up speed.

“Hey, darl’n, hey.” He stops outside the kitchen. “What’s go’n on, you hurt?”

How do you even explain it, the panic rising up in you, the fear. Why were you scared? You were married to the gods, there was no safer position to be in. You were safe, protected… so why did you feel so on edge? Why was your head hurting, your heart racing, and why did you feel so used?

You stopped breathing before you realized it.

“Hey!” Jonah shook you, but your eyes felt glassy and unfocused. He pulled you through the swinging kitchen doors.

“Dad, what-” You hear Iris say and vaguely register a third person in the room. Iris stops what she’s doing and rushes to you. “What’s happening? What did you do?”

“Nothing! I got her after the ceremony and this just started!”

You were gasping for breath, the light and airy feeling in your head making everything a little blurring. Still, you register hands on your shoulders, calling your name. “You need to breath. HEY! You hear me? BREATH.”

But you can’t. The panic, all-consuming panic clawed at your throat and tightened your chest. Then, a hard slap.

*SMACK*

Iris slapped you, causing your body to gasp in shock. You took the opportunity to breathe in as much as you could get, and once the oxygen settled in, so did the clarity.

Dizzy, you stumble back and nearly topple over, but Jonah catches you. Careful, he sets you down in a chair. “Easy now, darl’n, breath, breath…” his arms were strong and safe around you, but Iris grabs your shoulders.

“Listen to me.” You look up to watch her, brown eyes fiery on yours. She commanded the room. “You need. To get it. Together. Those men out there-” She pointed vaguely out the door. “Are dangerous.”

“Iris…” Jonah whispers, but when her head whips towards him in anger, he backs off.

“You shut it, you don’t know jack shit about surviving here, especially as a woman.” Back to you. “I don’t care how you feel, I know you’ll probably fall in love because you’ve been so brainwashed, but I need you to understand this.” She leans in. “You need to get your shit together. You need to clean up, you need to get out there and charm the fucking dick off of every single person in that room. The only way you get through this is if you want a very thin line. Submissive but not weak. Obedient but not permissive. Have boundaries but keep them loose and never, ever, try to resist sex. This is no time to be weak.”

Her words barely made sense to you.

They weren’t dangerous. They LOVED YOU. You were their WIFE. But still, part of her words range true; you were the daughter of a traitor, a man who partook in an uprising that caused the death of the Divine Mother, and the other high up members would have their eye on you. You needed to make sure there was no reason to doubt your love for your husbands, nor your adoration of Divine Mother.

“Fuck,” Iris mutters something to the third figure in the room about ‘nothing there’ then stands up. “Jonah, go back to the dressing room and get the make-up and hair products.” It was only then you realized you had been crying, make-up running off your face. “Rey, I need you to help me in here.”

He was tall, about as tall as Jonah but not quite the Millers height. “What do you need?” He began to tie his dark curls back. Iris directed him on finishing the desserts while she took out all the food from the oven for the main dish.

When Jonah came back, Iris set to work redoing your face, making it look as if you never cried, never had a single scared thought. She fixed you up nice and pretty, then left you on the chair to wait for your entrance.

After everything was placed on carts to take out, Iris departed, with Jonah following behind shortly and instructing the other man to stay with you. Iris insists she doesn’t need a guard dog, but Jonah say something about not wanting her alone with ‘those drunk bastards’ if he can help it. You’re suddenly nervous, unsure about being alone with a man other than your husbands or Jonah, but you don’t have a choice.

“They’re a stressful pair to watch aren’t they?” The dark haired man says, pulling up a chair beside you. He turns it around, straddling it before sitting backwards and leaning his arms on the backrest.

You don’t want to be rude, so you give a shy smile without meeting his eye. “Are they… um… is uh…” You realize you don’t know Jonah’s last name, and are unsure how to properly address him to others. You don’t want to seem too familiar when you are a married woman now. “Mr. Jonah, is he Iris’s father? I heard her call him dad.”

He chuckles a bit, and you turn to look at him. With a better view, and clearer vision, you are able to take in his features. He’s handsome, but in a almost boyish way -although you doubt he’s younger than 30. Dark curls are still pulled back, but you’d estimate his hair falls about shoulder length, maybe shorter, as chunks are falling out. Strong nose, brown skin, and bright, brown eyes. Strangely jovial compared to Iris and Jonah.

“Yeah, kinda rare that happens. She’s um… well, they’d had… well I guess it’s not my place to say, but they’ve had some ups and downs. But yeah, she’s his daughter.” He extends a hand. “Reyansh Saha.”

You give him your name. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Saha.”

He laughs again, but it doesn’t feel like he’s laughing at you; it’s too good natured for that. “Just Rey is fine.”

“Oh, no, no I shouldn’t.” You try to protest.

“Ammayi” (my girl) He says with a glint in his eye. “No one here will understand you if you call me Mr. Saha, I promise you. You can call me Reyansh if that’s easier. Or, well, you can call me Mr. Saha if you’re uncomfortable of course” His tone is good natured, but clearly trying to ease you. You feel like a skittish animal, and he’s a good samaritan trying to coax you to some food.

You give a little nod. “Okay, yeah Reyansh works.”

*

You felt like you may have another panic attack.

Pope was on your right, holding your arm with William beside him. On your left arm was Benjamin; Francisco was fidgeting beside him.

“Baby.” Ben whispers to Francisco. “You gotta calm down, you're shaking…”

You watch as Pope turns abruptly at the nickname, but says nothing. Benjamin grabs Francisco's hand, squeezing it three times and giving him a little peck on the cheek before letting go. Francisco smiled, just a little.

You were making your grand entrance as husbands and wife, to the whole of Delta, to stand out on the balcony as the masses gathered below. Jonah instructed you on procedure. 

“This is the most dangerous point. I have the entire guard in the crowd, both noticeably armed and plain clothes, everyones been searched before entry and theres no reason to suspect a problem, but-” He turned to you. “Anything happens, a gun shot, something is thrown, a fight breaks out, I am grabbing you and we are going. Don’t argue, don’t worry about them-” He gestures to the men beside you. “My only concern will be to get you to safety. Your husbands are all armed and trained fighters, you are not. You have me, understood?”

There would be no need for concern. As you stepped out, leading your husbands in a v shape through the curtains, a stark hush fell upon the crowd. Thousands of people, thousands, here to see your husbands. Here to see them with their brand new bride, the mother of their child. You were humbled, truly, to be honored in such a way that the god’s dained you deserving. Cheers broke out, no doubt to the flag being raised- your bloodied sheets, signifying that you were indeed a virgin, and had been claimed in the name of the gods. The crowd was adoring; how beloved your husbands were to their people!

You focused your hearing not being all that far away, to try and pick out a word or two, and were surprised with the result.

“MADONNA! MADONNA! MADONNA”

They were cheering… for you.

The priestess stood off to the side, raising her arms to hush the crowd. 

“Hail Madonna, full of grace, blessed are you amongst women!”

Then, she kneeled.

Behind her, beginning with the front and sending a wave through the back, the entire mass of people knelt, chanting “Hail! Hail! Hail!”

To both your left and right, all four of your husbands bowed to you.

You were the holy mother. You were Madonna. You would bring about the savior and peace on earth. You were divine.

*

The party went swimmingly. Your new found confidence, it turns out, made speaking to strangers easier. You shouldn’t fear them for being a traitor's child, you shouldn’t feel their judgeful gaze. They should worship you. Not the same as Pope, William, Benjamin and Francisco, and certainly not Divine Mother, but you were blessed.

You never were far from William, Pope, or Benjamin, most moments of the evening were spent with their arms around your waist or holding your hand; you belonged to them.

Pope had pulled you to the dance floor, tender grasp keeping you close as he guided you through the violin music. 

“You are just… so beautiful” He whispered, clean shaven face up against your own. 

“Thank you.”

“You do understand how stunning you are, don’t you? Most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

You tuck your head in his neck, smelling his aftershave; or was it the liquor on his breath? You weren’t sure.

“It’s like you were made for me…”

A gentle kiss. “I was. I was made for you, by Divine Mother’s majesty.”

You could feel him smile at that, hands slowly trailing down your back. “That’s right, made just for me…”

You nuzzle against him, signing contently. He loved you, you were so, so loved… “Made for my husbands”

His smile dropped. When his hands grazed over your ass, he gripped it tight, painful, making you yelp. The noise and crass motion was sure to attract attention, and you turn to look.

Pope grabs your face, forcing you to look at him. “Don’t look at them, look at me. I am their god, they are nothing compared to us, what we do is none of their business. I could bend you over right now and if I told them to ignore it, to go about the party, they will. You understand me?”

You nod.

His fingers pinch your cheeks. “Your body was made for me, and it’s mine. Understood?” You realize now your mistake. You had said your husbands. Plural. You must have hurt his feelings when bringing the others into it, even if you meant well. You note that special times between you and Pope should remain exclusive. Don’t make him jealous.

“Made just for you” You push past the force of his hold to kiss him on the lips. “I belong to you.”

Popes body language relaxed, his plush lips smiling again as his grip softens. He runs his thumb over your lips. “So beautiful for me…”

*

As you spoke like old friends to a woman you’d never met in your life, Benjamin slid up to you. “‘Scuse me, darl’n, but may I steal my wife away for a few moments?”

The woman bowed her head and excused herself while Benjamin pulled you away.

It wasn’t long before you were out the ballroom, down a hall and into a small linen closet, his hands all over you; frantic, needy, a fully hard cock pressing against your skirt. This was to be expected, and you understood your role. At any time, day or night, busy or not, you were to be available to be filled.

He yanked at your skirt. “Yuh know,” Benjamin said between short pants of breath. “It was my brothers insistence that your dress have blue… he said that- mmphh- it was symbolic or some bullshit, but I think he just wanted his color on you.”

You weren’t entirely sure if that was true, but you didn’t want to make a committal answer so you attempt to kiss back, unsure of the movements still. “Mmm, Benjamin…”

“Call me Benny, darl'n.” He rucks up your skirt, only to find no underwear. He stops, blue eyes looking at you with a steely ferocity. “Will take your panties after he cleaned you up.”

Lie, your first instinct told you. He’s dangerous,lie. But he wasn’t dangerous. He was your husband. “Yes” You wanted him to touch you again, you liked the way he explored your body. 

His brows pursed together before growling, turning you around and bending you over a small folding table. “God damn him, and god damn Pope!” Benjamin grunted, making you scared as he flicked your dress up to your waste. “I should’ve had you first!” Ben spits onto your exposed asshole, shocking you a bit.

You try to turn around when you hear his belt being undone. “What-”

“Shhhh” He pushes you back down on the table, freeing his hard cock. You jump when he slides a finger into your tight ring of muscle. It doesn’t feel bad, but not necessarily good, either. He begins to pump, then adds a second finger and you gasp at the intrusion. “Making me fuck’n wait till last-” You hear him spit on his free hand, beginning to jerk himself off as he begins to scissor you open.

“Ben!”

“Relax, baby, I’m not Pope, I ain’t tryna tear you open, you’ve bleed enough for one day.” You swear you hear him chuckle. What is he doing? You were confused, but also beginning to sink into the feeling of him. “They always do this to me, they always make me wait, and wait and wait just because Frank’s Pope’s favorite and Will’s ugh, Will’s older- goddamn” He stops, lining up the tip of his cock to your asshole and spitting a few more times. He was going to fuck you there?! Ben folds over, encasing your body in his warmth as he whispers in your ear. “Not this time, your ass is mine.” With that, he thrust into you, splitting your hole open as you cried out.

He laughs. “Lot louder than when Pope took you huh?”

*

Jonah found William getting a glass of wine and sipping it while watching over the party.. “I gotta talk to you.”

William doesn’t even turn to look. “Fuck off, Hanson.” 

Will did not like Jonah, he knew. Their history prevented the same rapport that he had with Santiago, but never the less, he know Will was the one for this request.

“It’s about your precious Madonna.”

With that, Will turned.

*

Benny was insatiable, thrusting into you wildly and grunting with every movement. “So- fucking-tight-god!” He shouts and it takes everything in you not to cry… but that feeling was bubbling up again, despite the discomfort, but that discomfort was slowly slipping into something else.

The slightest moan escapes.

It seems then almost that Ben reminds you’re here, that he’s not fucking a hole in a wall and chuckles. “Oh, you like this, pretty girl? I can make it better, so much better.” He wraps a strong arm around you, toying with that sensitive spot that William was playing with earlier illiciating a much louder moan from your lips.

“God baby, thats it… gonna cum like this, darl’n? Gonna cum with a cock up your ass like the dirty girl I know you are? Yeah, yeah sure sounds like it…” He replies after your sounds of pleasure grow. “Under all this white, underneath that good girl act and that sweet little face, I knew, I just fucking KNEW your little virgin cunt was begging to get fucked, desperate for cock, huh?” His hips begin to falter, growing more sloppy. “Well now you got 4 cocks desperate to fill you up, to put our baby inside you first, fuck, you gonna be able to handle all that?

You can’t even reply, a mess of moans under his body. 

He grabs your hair, yanking you up to look at him. “ANSWER ME!”

“YES!” You scream, so close to spilling over but not quite there, needy and whimpering for him. “I can take it! I want it! I want you all, all the time!”

“I know, darl’n girl, I know, f-fuck, ugghh fuck!”

 Pulling out of your ass, you almost whine for him, whine for more, but he thrusts it into your pussy last minute. The intrusion sends you over, clamping down hard on him as he spills into you. “Yeaahh, that’s it, thats- oh my god, perfect little pussy- fuck!” When he finishes inside you, his warmth is all over you again, staying there for a moment with his cock plugged inside you. “Gotta make sure to cum inside your little pussy every time, no matter how good your ass or mouth feel. Can’t waste a drop.”

He caressing your arm as his body language softens, nuzzling his face into your hair. “So good, pretty girl. So fucking perfect.”

*

“She needs someone looking after her.” Jonah insists. “She’s just a kid.”

Will is dismissive, but behind his eyes hide curiosity. “That’s what you and security are for.”

Jonah signs. “Okay, listen, I’ll be honest here.”

“You sure that’s a good idea?”

“You ain’t fond of me, that’s a given. I get it. But let’s be clear.” Jonah drops his voice low. “Frank’s been mentally checked out all day. He don’t want nothing to do with this. Ben’s a -”

“Watch it.”

Jonah rephrased his next words. “He’s not gentle. He’s not careful, and when he’s high he flat out dangerous, and he buys into this whole delusion and so does Santiago. Santiago is worse, he’s delusional and can flip like a fucking switch. She needs someone to help her navigate them. That needs to be you.”

Will didn’t say anything, but from the way his brows were furrowed, Jonah new he planted a seed. 

“Look, here she comes with Ben, she’s fucking stumbling, Will. Go take care of your wife.”

*

It hurt.

It was hard to walk like this, but Ben’s arms were tight around you. You felt strangely safe like this, like he was going to be there from now on.

“What the hell did you do to her, Ben?”

“Relaaaaax” Ben waved off his brother. “She’s fine.”

Will didn’t buy it.

“Pope got her pussy, I got her ass.” He shrugged.

Disgust spread across his features. “You did anal? With no lube? Jesus Ben!”

“RELAX!” Ben raised his hands in defense. 

Will hushed him. “That’s enough for tonight, I’m taking you to bed.”

And that was that. Will’s arm replaced Ben’s and quickly guided you out the door again. Once out of sight, Will scooped you right out. “Ain’t having you walk like that, babygirl. ‘Slright, just rest.” And rest you did, clinging to him and laying your head on his firm chest. You felt like you were almost asleep when he laid you on the bed.

Like how he cared for you before, he cared again, undressing you with a gentle strength.

“Lay down, lemme make sure your okay.” The worry in his voice made your heart sing.

“I’m alright, I promise.” You whisper, but spread your legs anyway.

He tsks his tongue. “Poor little girl… you’re alright, but I know it must hurt, doesn’t it?”

You swallow thickly, nervous with his face so close to your core. “Um… it’s a little sore, I guess…” 

“I bet… but it wasn’t all bad, was it?”

“N-no, it wasn’t…”

“I can see that…” A thick finger swipes up your slit. “Got all wet, didn’t you? You sure are easy to work up…”

You shutter at the touch, a little achy but still desiring him. How could you not? How could you not want him when he spoke to you so low, so careful? When carried you and cleaned you and dressed you… he was perfect, fucking perfect.

“Poor little girl…” William spoke in a deeper tone, planting a kiss to your clit and making you whimper. “Gotta be at the beck and call for four men… that can’t be easy, but you’ve been taking it so well…” His fingers move up and down your folds, spreading your cum and the new slick trickling down.

“It’s, mmmm it’s my honor to be found worthy…” You sit up on your elbows, curious as to his actions.

“And worthy you are, Madonna.” His lips glazed over your flesh. “Bless are you, among women” His hand on your stomach. “and blessed is the fruit of your womb.” You watch William, knelt before you, hovering with his mouth open above your waiting mound.

You whisper, “Please”

He whispers equally soft. “As you wish.”

When William latched his mouth onto you, it’s unlike anything you’ve felt before, although you can’t say you’ve felt much. His mouth is hot, wet, messy as he licks you, tongue and lips moving in tandem, like a well practiced team with the sole purpose of reducing you to a whimpering mess.

“W-Will, oh that… oh my god-”

But he didn’t stop, latching his tongue to your clit as his fingers entered you, and despite the overstimulation of the day, compared to the large phalluses that had breached your core, his fingers merely provided pleasurable stimulation. His free-hand remained busy as well, taking your private moment to explore the rest of your body. You didn’t understand what pleasure he could find in your thighs, your stomach, or playing with your fingers, but you relished in his closeness, the emotional and physical and sexual intimacy compared to the coldness of the deflowering. 

But it had to happen this way, you thought as your hips bucked; William had begun swirling his tongue around your clit, causing a surge in pleasure. This afternoon was a ritual; systematic, calculated, precise. There was no room for intimacy, for love. But you’d seen it now. You’d seen it in the way Pope danced with you, in the way Ben caressed you after sex and praised you, the way Will touched you now… the only thing missing was Frankie.

It wasn’t long before Will had to gushing on his face, crying out his name in a hedonistic moan, a orgasm so blinding that the revelation that you existed to pleasure and be pleasured by these men until you were swollen with child seemed like a gift of godhood itself.

He pulled three more out of you before he was satisfied, making come on his face and fingers thrice before your final orgasm was only singled by an tired “Mmmmmmmph” and your contracting walls. Finally, he pulls back. You can’t see him, eyes too tired they won’t open, but you imagine his beard is glistening with the way he soaks you when he kisses you cheek.

When you’re situated in bed, where you can only assume is your room, you ask Will to stay, ask him to hold you while you fall asleep. He obliges.

You feel dwarfed in his grasp his body so large it makes you feel small, but also secure. You don’t have to be brave, you don’t have to be strong. You don’t have to think or to worry. Everything would be taken care of for you, you’d give birth to the savior and how many other children, and redeem your family name from your fathers betrayal. You would find redemption in this house, right alongside love, family, and maybe even friendship for the first time since you were twelve…

Everything was falling into place.

So why didn’t it seem like Francisco loved you?

*

Knock knock.

“Honey?”

Knock knock knock

“Honey you in there?”

Jonah. 

“One moment!”

You open your groggy eyes and take a look around the room, finding a luxurious, long, white robe on the dresser. You put it on, covering your nakedness, and timidly open the door.

“Yes?” Jonah stood before you, gun slung on his hip as usual.

He looks sympathetic. “Sorry to wake you, but Santiago wants to see you, I’m here to escort you.”

Hearing someone refer to Pope as his given name is jarring, but something about Jonah is just… very different. He seemed so serious when talking to you about safety, about making sure only his most trustworthy men watched you and how determined he seemed at the balcony… but it seemed he took everything else so unserious to him.

You didn’t like that he referred to your husband by his name, it was much too informal, but you cared about Jonah, so you don’t mention it.

After dressing, Jonah takes you down stairs. You’re thankful for him, the house is too big for you to know your way yet.

“How you feeling?” 

“About what?” You ask genuinely.

Jonah turns to you, a curious look on his face. “About… everything. Yesterday was a big day. A lot happened.”

Of course a lot happened. You were still leaking their cum. “Nothing that Divine Mother didn’t intend.” You say as if its obvious.

He sighs. “Right.”

Pope was waiting outside the door of the intended room. His smile grew when he saw you, walking over to place a hand on your cheek and kiss you. “Good morning, my beautiful wife.”

Wife… something so magical about that word.

Pope thanks Jonah and dismisses him, turning you to the doorway and opening it. “I have a surprise for you, bebita.”

When the door opens, you gasp as you’re led inside. Canvases fill the room as did papers, paints, pencils… 

“How… how did you know…” You whisper in awe, your heart swelling at the gesture. He loved you, he really loved you and wanted you to be happy here. You were so lucky, so lucky to be adored like this, to be adored by him especially. Pope had worked his way deep into your heart in a matter of days. He was everything to you now, he was your world. You belonged to him, every single inch of your heart, your body, your mind, your faith was him.

“I’m the god of love, I know what mi amada needs… I’ll always know.” He stands behind you, wrapping his arms around your body, the body that belongs to him, and kisses your neck. “I can’t wait to see what you paint, Madonna…” 

***************

PLEASE TELL ME UR THOUGHTS I THRIVE ON PRAISE

I feel like im doing ass at writing Ben here. I my normal fics on my main he's a consent king and so so so so soft so this is strange to me. BUT he can be tender and loving, dont you worry

SO, THE GENERAL CONCENSOUS IS YOU ALL WANNA FUCK JONAH. Lmfao, horny sluts. HE'S OUR FATHER FIGURE. Imagine having daddy issues. COULDNT BE ME (this is a joke lol)

But! Thoughts on Iris, and our new boy, Reyansh?

Not a super eventful chapter and i felt like Madonna have said like 10 words this whole fic but this has been the set up, now we can move forward! If you read TWW, LO was practically silent for the first few chapters.

Now they ceremony is done and she's married and already v attached and brainwashed.

How to keep up with the story!

Comment on this masterlist that you want to be tagged and I'll tag you in updates (If you ask to be tagged, I ask you at least like the fic. Likes dont do anything to spread the work, but it at least lets me know you're still reading.)

Follow @romana-updates and/turn on notifications

Follow the tag Rooms on fire

@hon3yboy @winniethewife @femmeanonymelives @yorksgirl @pockcock @neverwheremoonchild @casa-boiardi @meveispunk @survivingandenduring @criticalarchitecture @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @obscurexsorrows @hellfire-state-of-mind @christinamadsen @pimosworld @princessanglophile @rubyfruitjungle @simple-lovebot @missdictatorme @campingwiththecharmings @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @javier-penas-wifexx420 @stefani-topaz @alwaysmicado@mjnomaryjane @incorrectclassicbookquotes @axshadows @ghostslillady @movievillainess721 @justagalwhowrites @charethcutestory02 @pixielou5 @gogh-with-the-flow @justafandomgvrl @katw474 @loveable-liar @arrozconpepitoria @minigirl87 @runa-falls @pedge-page @angel-of-the-moons @beefrobeefcal @pixielou5 @miraclesabound @oliveksmoked @mjnomaryjane @bubble-pop-eclectic @corazondebeskar-reads @charethcutestory02 @pedroshotwifey

If I forgot someone or you'd like to be added/removed LMK!

[coralinnii]

You don’t have to do this right away but Part two for idia? Its okay if you dont feel like doing it, just remember to rest and take breaks!

"If you are a villain, then let me be your accomplice"  feat: Idia genre: drama notes: sequel to “being reincarnated into a new world as the bad guy” Idia ver., roughly 1.2k word count, mentions of blo*d, d*ath, and life-threatening situations, is there a gn equivalent of a himbo? cuz slight himbo!reader energy, unspecified beasts,

Finally, it’s here! The long-awaited villain/ess au sequel to the final housewarden (sorry Idia and Idia simps). Admittedly, this is not so much romantic as more fleshing out of their story :p whoops. I might make a continuation of the aftermath of this but I felt like this is a decent stopping point for now. 

Since accepting his growing feelings with you, Idia has been on an emotional roller coaster where he likes being around you but being around you makes him nervous to the point of almost puking. He finds himself glowing, both metaphorically and literally whenever you drop by and it doesn’t help when you seem to enjoy his personal space, seeing as you always bring yourself into said space. 

He knew that if he voiced his discomfort, you would make your best effort to distance yourself but the mere idea of that doesn’t make him feel too happy either. He’s grown accustomed to seeing your eyes sparkle at his new innovations, your warmth as you scoot closer to him on the couch, your voice when you share your random thoughts and questions

“Have you ever dreamt of your own death?” 

Ok, maybe he’s not too accustomed to everything you say

For a while now, you’ve experienced dreams that seem to burn themselves into your memories, forcing you to remember every detail as though the world compels you to. These dreams showed you snippets of life that seemed so real and scarily bears similarity to the real world. Your dreams foretold events in the near future which used to scare you to the point you begged your siblings to stay with you at night, assuring you it meant nothing. 

In truth, you wondered if you were given a strange and powerful gift but one thing about your visions stopped that train of thought. In your dreams, you tend to behave and act in ways you never would. The you in these dreams was spoiled and mean, especially to the Shroud family which you could never bring yourself to do in a million years. Because of that, you assumed your strange visions to be your imagination going wild. An alternative reality that didn’t happen.

But for the past few weeks, you were visioning your terrible end taking place in an expedition alongside your brother. You saw yourself perish at the hands of a feral beast with your brother then seeing your sister cry over your body and proclaiming to avenge your deaths, believing it to be the doing of the Shroud family. 

“What a strange dream, right?” You laughed in hopes to play off the absurdity of it all. “It’s just that…I've been seeing that dream more often now. I guess I’m more nervous about the expedition than I realise”

If it were someone else, you may have been considered strange or even going crazy. You thought Idia would see you that way or at best, try to convince you that it was nothing more than a wild fantasy, like your family does. 

But Idia was not a typical man. 

To be fair, you were not a typical person to him either. If it were anyone else, Idia wouldn’t care less about their troubles or at best, do the bare minimum to get them off his back. But it was the person who unknowingly stole his heart and watching you visibly affected by your disturbing visions persuaded him to seriously consider your words. 

“Tell me everything you saw” 

And lucky he did.  

Your father taught you a lot of things. How to swing your sword with gusto, to grit your teeth and dig in your heels when anticipating a blow, and to stand your ground no matter the odds. But he never told you how painful a racing heart can be or how loud the sound of blood rushing through your system is. Although, you supposed you can forgive him since he would never want to imagine you coming face-to-face to a deranged beast as your own blood blurred your vision. 

During your expedition, you and your siblings encountered a group of disorientated beasts and while this was nothing new to you, these creatures were more unpredictable in comparison to your previous encounters with this species. It was as though they were fighting something internally and your squadron was unfortunately caught in the crossfire. The large beasts were demolishing things in their vicinity, indiscriminately knocking down anything and anyone without care. 

Their unpredictable attacks ultimately led to one of them taking a vicious swing towards you and your brother, sending you both over a tall cliff with the large beast tumbling after from the force of its own attack. 

You vividly recalled this scene, as it was foretold in your dreams. You were trapped and wounded with your brother unconscious after taking the brunt of the attack when shielding you. You willed yourself to keep a strong grip on your sword. If your dreams truly turn to reality, you and your brother will meet an untimely end here. 

“Great heavens, give me strength to protect my brother” you prayed as you took one more long breath before letting out a feral roar. 

You ran full speed towards the rampaging beast, putting all your strength into your swing to sever its leg, hoping to incapacitate its movement. Unfortunately, your depleted strength and eyesight left your attempt with a sizable wound but not enough to deter the giant. 

Your blood has now ran cold as you realise the severity of your situation. Partially blinded and hurt, you were helpless in front of the deranged beast. Your tears mixed with the blood that cascaded over your eyes but you thought there was no use in wiping away the mess on your face. 

In your fearful madness, you thought you might as well make your last moment memorable. You turned your head towards the sky, intending to stare at the beast with as much defiance, refusing to show fear towards any foe. 

But something was odd 

Since the encounter with the beasts, they were nothing but aggressive monsters, agitated and reckless in motion and action. Every moment with them was spent defending yourself from their endless attacks. 

So why does it seem peaceful? 

Even with a wound on its leg, the beast’s body was relaxed like it was in pure relief from whatever was ailing them. If you weren’t just glad you’re still alive, you might have been a little offended by the lack of interest the beast had on you. 

With the rush of adrenaline slightly fading, you started taking notice of your senses a bit more, your injuries were being recognised, you felt the burn in your legs from the stress…and you felt a strange sensation on your wrist. 

Looking down, you found the source to be the beast radar device made by Idia. You found it strange since it wasn’t nearly this hot even when you first came in contact with the beasts earlier but now, the device was evidently warm and you could sense an aura-like energy being emitted from it. You weren’t confident but you wondered if Idia added something more to your device. And it was affecting the beast before you.

Daring to test your theory, you slowly stepped back from the beast, angling your wrist further from the beast, observing the facial changes of the creature. True to your hypothesis (but unfortunately so), the beast’s body started shaking as though something unpleasant had returned to it. You wanted to celebrate your eureka moment but acknowledged this may not be the best time. 

Then, like a gallant warrior, a figure appeared seemingly from the heavens and with a swift motion, speared the beast’s head from above. The creature let out a final painful roar before crashing down before your feet. You looked above to see your sister perched atop the beast, covered in sweat and blood. 

Your sister jumped from her position and ran to you, encasing you in a tight embrace. You noticed how your sister was shaking with palpable fear. 

“You’re alive. Thank the heavens you’re both alive” your usually level-headed sister cried into your sister as she wrapped her arms tighter, which you’re impressed she still could. 

Although, you were grateful for the embrace as you felt your legs give out under you from exhaustion. Your sister worriedly called out your name as she supported your weight but incredibly, you just let out a laugh. 

Against the odds and contrary to your haunting dreams, you were alive. 

Was it strange you thought of Idia when you realised that? 

[violenciorp]

What if...? The Super Soldier Serum doesn't work and Steve doesn't become Captain America?

There is a 'What if…?' inspired (?) game ("""immersive story""") on the apple vision now. I have not played it (who the hell would buy an apple vision lmao) but I watched some lets plays (on youtube) and while I don't think the full experience is…. all that great, it does look very nice, seems congruent (canon-compliant?) with everything else from the What if...? show, AND there is a Steve plotline featuring Bucky, Hydra, Red Guardian and kinda Red Skull that has some interesting plot points that I feel are interesting both as character studies or as AU starting points, so I'll summarise and provide some badly screenshoted pictures as evidence 🥲 I'll put this under the read more just in case soemoen here does have 3.5k for useless equipment and wants to experience the 'game' themselves.

Basic set up of the little interactive experience/game; You get recruited by the Watcher to collect all infinity stones for… reasons, and to do that, you get zapped around different multiverses. To collect the power stone (purple), you get put into Siberia, where you learn the following: During the second World War, the allied forces tried to create a supersoldier to put a stop to the Nazis/Hydra -- just as they did in our universe

Unforunately, though, shit goes wrong, the serum doesn't work, and the machines explode, so that Steve doesn't become the hunk of a man we know and love but… well, red skull.

Don't get me wrong, he's still a good guy, but, in his own words: 'The allied forces had an ideal vision of a super soldier -- and that wasn't me.'

They basically didnt use them as propaganda because he's uggo now, lmao. Without touring as a motivational piece doing little shows, though, he also never really becomes Captain America.

And without a force to put their bundled hopes in, the allied forces fall apart, and Hydra wins (!) without a super soldier to stop them.

The timeline gets more fuzzy now, it is not clear to me if some/most/all of the events are meant to be happening at around WW2 time, or much later. 'Siberia 1988' was thrown around, but I'm honestly not sure if it's meant to be the date, or just some reference. However, one character shows up significantly aged at the end of the show, so it actually might be 1988, implying that Hydra did rule most of Europe (?) for 30-40 years. Either way, Hydra does start creating Super Soldiers using the purple Infinity Stone, the Power Stone. Steve, either on a solo-mission or sent by Shield (unclear), goes to Siberia to retrieve the stone, that is guarded by Red Guardian. Red Guardian refuses to give the stone to Steve, as 'the powers of the stone make monsters out of men', using it is "nothing to be proud of" and 'you don't look like scientist. you don't sound like scientist… well, uh… no, you have skull for face' (literal quote, lmao, love it), so they fight.

Steve looses the fight, BUT --- sees Bucky in one of the tanks, before he has to flee the scene, as he is just about to get his ass whooped.

Wanting to save his friend, Steve now helps you to collect all the stones, yadda yadda, intergalactic multiverse bullshit happens, blabla, i dont care. Once you do collect all the other infinity stones with some other marvel characters, there is a bit of a twist, a big showdown, and then you have two choices: Either, you give each hero the stone that they were after, or you "do the right thing" and destroy the stones.

If you go for the good ending and destroy the stone, Steve goes back to his universe. Without the stone being there to create all these Super Soldiers for Hydra Steve and Red Guardian team up to free Winter Soldier Bucky.

and together they form a 'nation-less alliance of superheros' to fight some bad guys which the red guardian calls the… musketeers.

[[It is unclear to me where Steve got a shield, considering that he absolutely didn't have one up to this point. I also wonder if 'nation-less' means that Steve rejects being an American here? Red Guardian not being American makes sense, Bucky not easily being allowed to return also makes sense with all the war crimes he committed, but I do like the idea of Steve doing the right thing here leads him to be a lot less patriotic than in our canon.]]

However: If you do give Steve the infinity stone, he brings it to SHIELD ---- which seems to be represented by the aged What if? model of Howard Stark from the second season of the show, making me believe that it might in fact be playing in 1988 --- which does lead the US to win the war against HYDRA, but also "unleashes the super soldier threat back home" with there being hundreds of supersoldier chambers being shown.

I'm assuming the implication is that shield = hydra or maybe just super soldiers = bad no matter where they are? Interestingly, there is no more mention of Bucky in this ending, so I guess Steve was too busy acquiring world domination or something to still care about him. Considering that Howard is his old-model here, this does imply that Steve only retrieves the power stone by the late 80's. Not sure what he has been up to for the 40 years until then -- was he also somewhere frozen? Do red-skull-supersoldiers just not age? --- but it does imply that Hydra was (openly!) in control of at least most of Central Europe for this entire time period, before the US finally had a chance to beat them.

They are definitly using the same models/assets as in the TV show, so I do wonder if we will see some of these elements in the next season, too, considering they already announced an episode featuring Bucky and Red Guardian. Overall, while I feel like it doesn't really fulfill the criteria of a good interactive game/experience, I found this plot line quite interesting, and having the serum fail Steve, and he therefore nor being the Golden Boy and rejected by the allied forces, plus the potential 40-year long rule of Hydra are super intriguing to me. Bucky and Red Guardian also not being created by the serum, but by the powers of the infinity stone also seem like an interesting starting point for some musings, AUs and fics. I also wonder what Hydra had been doing with Bucky for those 40 years for Steve not having known/heard about him in the mean time. Ie. if someone writes fanfic based on this, please send it to me haha. Or TL; DR: It's basically a "What if Steve was ugly?" (in the words of @tinaxpow )

[a-killer-obsession]

Wanna say real quick if you're a fanfic writer and you're looking at my page like "ohhh they hit 500 followers so fast and they have a upload schedule and post twice a week, maybe i have to post twice a week to get followers" - Stop

This turned into a whole guide for newbies so more under the cut

Please do not use me as an example! Im disabled and unemployed which means i have time to write two chapters a week, please do not put that sort of pressure on yourself!!! I only let myself have a upload schedule because i keep a small backlog of chapters, meaning i have some buffer if my health is bad or i get writers block, and as yall saw recently i will take a break if i loose that backlog. If i was forcing myself to write two chapters a week on a strict deadline i would absolutely loose my shit and probably burn out very quickly. And to be entirely honest, I haven't seen much difference in follower growth now that I have a schedule versus when I was just posting whenever I remembered to. I really don't think a schedule makes a huge difference, I just like having one because it gives me some sense of routine now that I'm unemployed.

What im trying to say, especially if you're new to posting fanfics, is please dont stress yourself out by thinking you need a strict schedule for anyone to like your fic or follow you. You shouldn't be writing for followers anyway, write for yourself! Write because YOU want to write. And if you fall out of love with that writing, dont feel like you need to force it just to make others happy! When i get burnt out writing Wavelengths, I keep going because *I* want to get to the ending, I've been excited to write it for months. Its another reason i dont start writing new long forms until i have a generic plan of where im going, which is something i highly recommend. Having a chapter you're excited to write really helps when you're trying to find motivation.

While I have you here, let me lay down some general tips for new fanfic writers, especially for those who post on tumblr:

Write because you want to write. Don't ever feel like you need to cater to someone else, that's a sure fire way to get burn out

If you do get burn out: don't worry about it, either it'll pass or it won't. Maybe you'll drop that idea all together and move to something new. Don't sweat it, write what makes you happy. Forcing yourself will only make it worse and it'll show in your writing. Writing fanfics is a hobby, it should be FUN. Sure someone might come across your fic years from now and be sad that it's not complete but they'll probably only be sad for a few days at most and then they'll forget about it. Its not a big deal. Who knows, maybe you'll find inspiration years down the line and make someone's day by randomly updating after years of hiatus. It happens 🤷

Dont worry about how much engagement your fic gets. I know absolutely incredible fics that get barely any engagement, and some frankly hard reads that have a ridiculous amount. Its all just dumb luck really. Again - write because you want to

Don't sweat typos too bad. I recommend finishing your chapter/one shot, giving it a day or so, and THEN come back to proof read. I find doing this gives me fresh eyes and I often find a lot of ways to improve the chapter while I'm fixing typos. If you accidentally leave typos in there, don't worry too much. As long as it makes enough sense for people to understand what you meant, people will still read it. Just look at the first few chapters of Wavelengths for example, they're riddled with typos from swapping from 3rd to 1st person, but people still read them (I'LL FIX THEM SOON I PROMISE LMAO)

Don't worry about being cringe. Cringe is dead, make your characters as self inserty and over powered as you want. CRINGE IS DEAD. If you think its fun to write powers and tropes that you're worried will be cringe, fuck it, write it anyway. As long as YOU have fun writing it. Do you know how many "whoops accidental pregnancy" trope fics I've written? Every single one of my long forms has either had it, or planned to, because I like that trope! I don't care if its cringe, I will continue to get my characters knocked up

Some quick accessibility things:

Please left align your fic! I've seen people posting center and right aligned because it "looks cool". These alignments should be used sparingly! As well as things like italics and different fonts/font sizes/colours! They should be used to highlight small sections only! Otherwise they can make it very difficult for people with reading difficulties to read!

If you're posting on tumblr:

Make sure the majority of your fic uses the default black font. Some people set the whole thing to a different font or the "small" font or a different colour and I literally can't read them, and it makes me so sad! I'm sure I'm not the only one with this issue! Its okay to use other fonts for things like headers and descriptions, but for the bulk of your fic use the default! Theres a graphic designer out there somewhere who spent a long time picking the best font for the body text on this website for a reason!

If your fic is longer than a few paragraphs, use the READ MORE function!!! Either cut under a description or the first few paragraphs so people get a preview of your fic. You may think it's silly to hide most of your fic, but if someone, especially on mobile, comes across your fic automatically trimmed on the fyp, and likes your stuff, and they go to your account to see more and have to scroll for a million years just to get past your newest post, they're quickly going to give up trying to read your other stuff. Using the read more function makes it easy for people to browse your blog and check out more of your works!! It also makes it more likely people will reblog for the same reason.

Along the same lines: have a masterlist. This can be as simple as a pinned post where you add a link every time you post something new. This makes it super easy for people to check out more of your work!

If you have a long form/multi chapter I also recommend going to the previous chapter and adding a "next chapter" link when you post the next one. Not 100% needed though, if you have a masterlist that can be enough on its own, people just appreciate having that next chapter link for binge reading. PUT IT AT THE BOTTOM PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING. I hate when I finish a chapter and have to scroll for a million years to get to the top for the link

Feel absolutely free to use the way I format my fics and masterlist as example, but like I said, it can literally be just as simple as a list of links. I recommend listing the links at bare minimum as the title of the fic, and the pairing people can expect (including if its nsfw is a good idea too)

Speaking of NSFW: if your work isn't suitable for minors please make that clear! Even just a 'minors DNI' at the start of the post is good! If you wanna get fancy there are lots of creators who make lovely 18+/minors dni banners you can use for free, just google it and plenty will come up. If you're not adding a cut before the NSFW content then make sure you mark the post as for mature audiences (idk how you do it on the computer because I'm mostly a mobile user but on mobile you can find it bottom right, the icon with the two people). Not appropriately censoring your posts can result in tumblr restricting and possibly banning your account.

Finally, and this one is oddly specific to people who use google docs, but you can use a copy of this google doc to automatically add all the html to your writing so you can just copy and paste it into tumblr or AO3, instead of having to manually fix all the formatting. Do not just copy and paste AO3 html into tumblr, for some reason it has major issues with italics and will cause you a major headache. Just use the linked doc, its a super time saver, I've been using it for ages now

Okay thanks for reading bye

[thecomicallytragicgangle]

[[Alright so I'm new around these parts, may someone pleaaaase sum up the juicy lore for me?]]

-grateful anon

[ominous bell toll]

[It is time (lore summary time)]

[and. and this time. WE'RE GOING OVER ALL THE LORE!!!!!!!!] [i'll probably pin this so people can find the lore easily]

[LORE UNDER THE CUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

[Alrightttt so. IMPORTANT BITS!!]

[gangle has an ai version of herself thats meant to represent her subconscious: "s-gangle" who is currently .. missing right now]

[gangle used to be friends with kaufmo (before he abstracted)] [related comics and art here:] [comic, art, art,

[gangle hates an anon named "hammer anon" who has attacked her multiple times] [i'll cover that momentarily]

[i'll also include some other blog lore at the end, but right now we're focusing on gnagle lore!] ------

[so, starting off from the very beginning: the first important event was when gangle borrowed one of jax's keys, secretly accessing kaufmo's room. she wanted to find a way to move on from what happened. it did not go well . heres the series of comics relating to this: comics here]

[kaufmo's blog got introduced around this time, making gangle freak out (because she couldnt really comprehend the fact that kaufmo was just. back] [but she didnt want to deal w/ her emotions, so she forced herself to wear her happy mask for an extended period of time] [which, according to blog lore, kind of helps suppress her emotions]

[anyway, obviously thats a horrible idea] [so she kinda suffers for the next few asks] [like this ask, this ask, this ask, and this ask!] [yeah turns out the mask aint holding up very well. uh oh.] [yikes.]

[this is where hammer anon comes in! in this post, he breaks gangle's mask, resulting in all her emotions flooding in (this post). wahoo, i suppose? (not really)]

[the anons comfort gangle in this post, and eventually she recovers. yay!] [gangle is happy for a bit] [shes watching over kinger's fortress while he erm. goes through his own arc (here)] [anyway while watching over the fortress she has movie night! which results in this art here]

--------

[unfortunately. another arc happens. Jax literally abstracts! thats right. jax abstracted. gangle is. not feeling great about it! (comic)] [so yeah]

[unfortunately for gangle, things get worse when hammer anon decides now is a GREAT time to see if gangle has a third mask!] [art here!] [so she erm. flees! to the ferris wheel !] [cause remember, this may be a circus but theres also the fairgrounds!]

[anyway. gangle is cornered. and over the course of some asks impending doom slowly approaches her!] [related art here, here, here, and the comic begins here!]

[anyway. yeah! turns out! there is no third mask. which glitches gangle. yikes. whoops.] [shes out cold for a while] [and one of the anons takes her inside so she can rest (art here)]

--------

[gangle eventually wakes up (art here)] [and has a bunch of errors all over her face! cause. you know. her masks.] [she freaks out a bit over it but dont worry she calms down eventually]

[also, not exactly lore important? but someone decids to taunt her for being a coward n such so she throws a fish at them in this comic]

[one extra thing as well: erm. jax DIED. like not even abstracted hes straight up dead due to one of the abstractions named dyno. yeah.] [or well he WAS dead at this time]

[caine is informed about what's happening, but unfortunately he isn't able to do anything about it (art here)] [honestly, gangle's tired of all this (especially considering the literal ai who runs the circus cant do anything to help) so she heads off to the lake. and SURPRISE!!!] [zooble appearance]

[heres the series of art/asks] in chronological order] [art 1, art 2, art 3, art 4, art 5, art 6, art 7, art 8,] [theres also a little break inbetween; one of the anons attempts to fix gangle's mask (it goes horribly wrong) related art here and here] [anyway continuing the zooble arc] [comic 1, comic 2, comic 3, comic 4, comic 5, and the animated finale]

[smth funny thats unrelated to lore- a CERTAIN ANON (cough) /silly was predicting all of my story ideas. (art here)]

[one more important thing regarding zooble: abstragedy/google ship is not canon, please don't joke about it/talk about it-] [im pretty sure zooble's mod is uncomfortable with the ship] [so.. yeah!]

----------

[now: smth i'd like to mention, there were 2 story arcs before the finale of the comics related to zooble:] [the computer files arc and s-gangle's introduction arc]

[the computer files thing was a little event i set up for everyone, where they could look through gangle's character files] [heres 2 silly asks that aren't lore related: 1 and 2] [ANYWAY lore related stuff! heres some of the important stuff: C&A, The Magician, and Memories]

[the one of the most important things though, from the files, would be the logs:] [here is log 1, log 2, and log 3 (with some art!)]

[anyway, s-gangle.exe is booted, and bam! s-gangle is introduced! (<- link here)]

[most of the asks are normal, but heres some lore important asks: flowers 1, flowers 2, copycat, red, poem (the poem ask was made around the time gangle returned)]

----------

[anyway! wahoo, after a while, gangle's back, and she now has to deal with All the Anon Chaos that's happened. poor gangle] [anyway. heres the important stuff!: an anon decided to curse s-gangle with a physical body, resulting in s-gangle immediately running off (comic here)]

[and.. theres also some silly stuff going on with the kaufmo blog. for context; during the jax dying situation, kaufmo used the chaos as a chance to escape the cellar and hid in his room for a while]

[kaufmo, learning about the whole "error" situation with gangle, wants to do something about it. (comic here)] [andd.. heres the final part relating to that! (comic here)]

[apologies about the final section of lore, especially the kaufmo part, considering it had to be rushed on christmas day due to the ask i recieved]

[and. y.y eah. thats everything! i'll try to actively update this lore as time goes on. wow this is a lot.]

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Dating Someone Else (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

A favor for another man (ao3) - winstonlives

Summary: Dan needs help from Phil to please his current boyfriend. Phil is not happy about it, but does anyway. Dan's boyfriend isn't happy about it either. Dan and Phil have a bit of a fight and their true feelings are exposed.

(TW) A Literal Pain in the Arse (ao3) - philsdrill

Summary: Late into the night, Dan’s boyfriend Steven takes an abusive turn. It’s up to Phil to rescue him and give him the aftercare and consolation he needs.

All We Seem to Do Is Talk About Sex (ao3) - truerequitedlove

Summary: In which Dan’s got a boyfriend and a tongue piercing, and Phil’s got a weed hookup and an anxiety disorder. In high school, they were labeled “bad influences on each other,” maybe that would never go away.

(TW) Angels In Your Room (ao3) - letspartyrightnow

Summary: Dan ran away from what he wanted because he was afraid and it was probably the biggest mistake of his life.

antisocialites watch a wilting flower (ao3) - throughtheirsnoses (det395)

Summary: Phil's an emotionally attached and loving vet and Dan's the drained receptionist with no dreams at the animal shelter who reconnect over the poor, hurt puppy dropped off. Dan's boyfriend is their boss.

Are You In? (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: Dan is drinking alone at a bar when a couple approaches him for a fun evening.

Behind Hazel Eyes (ao3) - Yiffandquiff (paradisobound)

Summary: Dan’s known Lucas since college and he’s never been so convinced that two people are meant to be together. He loves Lucas more than anything. But when news report of a serial killer striking around the town, Dan begins to notice signs in Lucas that leave him nervous. With the help of his newfound friend Phil, Dan pieces together the parts of Lucas that he somehow missed before anyone else loses their lives--and before Dan loses his own.

Collab (ao3) - QueenOfAllCorgis

Summary: Phil is heartbroken that his boyfriend of six years is cheating on him. With the help of Louise he finds the identity of the mystery man and decides that he isn’t going to let this Dan guy be fooled like he was.

Death of a Bachelor (ao3) - kageyama_drama

Summary: the one where Dan is getting married and Phil is his best man. also the one where Dan accidentally says Phil’s name at the altar. whoops.

Disturb the Universe (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: Dan and Phil are a successful YouTube duo, best friends and next door neighbors. Phil's married with two kids and Dan's long term boyfriend is like the queen's cousin or something. Their lives are fine--perfectly acceptable--but when two unrelated emergencies land Dan and Phil living together for the first time since 2012, they're forced to examine the choices they've made and confront the feelings they've kept quiet for nearly a decade.

Don't Ask Me How I've Been (Fake Happy) (ao3) - phantasticworks

Summary: Dan Howell is an up and coming actor in a closeted relationship with a man who isn't ready to admit his sexuality. Phil is their Uber driver for a very important awards show. Things don't go exactly to plan, but maybe that's a good thing?

Flowers (ao3) - phoreverphan

Summary: Dan never talks to anyone at uni, so when he sees Phil’s boyfriend buying flowers for someone who isn’t Phil, he sends a secret note.

hold me close (dont let me go) (ao3) - aesthetichomo

Summary: “Forever,” Dan echoes into the stillness of his living room, when lack of sleep isn’t the only thing making his eyes burn at the vein.

Forever echoes back at him.

Hurt me once (ao3) - Augusti_Lila

Summary: Dan had decided to confess Phil his love. But sometimes what we plan it's not what we end up having.

I Don't Know Anyone Else (Who Can Make Me Feel This Way) (ao3) - rainbowchristy

Summary: It started as a simple video idea. Little did Phil know, it'd lead to the missing piece in his life. A piece by the name of Dan.

Or: Phil tries cooking and his pregnant neighbour comes by to ask for some of whatever smells so good. Several times.

i know what to feel when you decide (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: it was the weekend, 2 days after the date with his boyfriend. it was perfectly rational and normal to dream about kissing your best friend, right?

well that's what phil tried to convince himself anyway.

aka the one where phil has a boyfriend that isn't dan and dan tries his best not to be a jealous little bitch.

In the shadow of your heart (ao3) - croissantbleu

Summary: Dan and Phil fell apart a few years ago, and if Phil seemed to have no problem getting used to his new life back in Manchester with his husband Noah, Dan has a few more difficulties moving on. But when Phil comes down to London to attend Louise’s party and ends up having to stay with Dan for a few days, who can tell what will happen

It's Gonna Be Me and You (ao3) - opendoor

Summary: “You’re at fault too, you know. You knew I have a boyfriend. You shouldn’t have kissed me.”

“No,” Dan admitted.

Phil enjoyed a flicker of satisfaction at that. It disappeared approximately three seconds later, when Dan leaned forward and said, in a low voice, “But you really shouldn’t have kissed me back.”

(or, a screen-writer/costume designer AU.)

must have been the wind (ao3) - dvp_95

Summary: Phil's apartment building has thin walls, and one of his neighbours sounds like they could really use a friend. Honestly, so could Phil.

Ripple (ao3) - cafephan

Summary: Phil has a cheating boyfriend. Dan is a poet, facing an ultimatum.

Sometimes Cuddles Are Better Than Sex (ao3) - rossendalebabe

Summary: Phil is living in a sham relationship, where lack of affection is eating away at his confidence and self-worth, leaving him feel like an empty glass of nothingness. One night, someone walks into his life who appreciates the man he is.

Thank you, next (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan is grateful to his ex, Phil, who had taught him everything. He's so grateful that he wants him back. Except he doesn't want to admit the mistake he made by losing him in the first place, so he tries to move on. Includes cute artists, a smelly candle, a talking cat and a psychic that talks to it. Also, time skips and a timeline of dating that was avoided by choice.

The missing part. (ao3) - cobblestyles

Summary: Phil Lester is a radio host and he has a boyfriend. But he's always felt like something was missing in his life. Maybe the new comic book store around the corner will help him find what it is.

AKA the comic book store AU no one's asked for.

The sound of Silence (ao3) - embarrassing_myself

Summary: When Dan moved into his new flat, he absolutely loved it. He quickly finds out though that the adorable couple next door is incredibly loud. It doesn’t seem to matter what time of day it is; they’re always making noise. One day though all that stops and he’s left with nothing but the sound of silence.

What defines a good person (ao3) - crazed_peanut

Summary: Dan and Phil are university students and meet at a party. Dan has a boyfriend, but him and Phil still let things happen between them.

Alternatively, The one where Dan is a cheater.

when you are young, they assume you know nothing (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: A letter, in a plain envelope.

Dan’s address written on the outside.

And something else scribbled on the front:

To PML.

If the offer enclosed is disagreeable, return to sender.

--

After a misunderstanding at prom, Dan finds himself in a dilemma; should he fall into a summer affair with Phil, or should he make up with his boyfriend of 3 years, Blake?

White Shirts and Kitchen Floors (ao3) - embarrassing_myself

Summary: Dan is with his longer term boyfriend, only because he doesn't know how to break up with him. He's not in love, that is until he meets Phil at a party one night. After that night he's determined to do anything it takes to be with him. He just needs to get rid of his boyfriend first.

[necrophilemagpie]

why this whole thing has such a grip on the brain

is the oc insert because i am obsessed in putting the dragon in situations? perhaps, but frankly

it's mostly about putting the trio in situations because the canon doesnt quite have anyone who'd provide the exact flavor of sheer identity crisis

[whoops this thing is way too long]

someone that is revealed to, before all of this, to have for a very long time simply kept on living in the human world anyway despite their inhumanity is arguably a description that doesn't... add up cleanly ideologically with how Hellsing operates, does it?

Though, funnily enough, 'ordinary human' doesn't apply cleanly to even any of the actual literal human major characters of the story except for maybe the wild geese.

There is a reason Pip has to give the speech about grieving the burning city and Sir Penwood had to make his strategically important sacrifice. The Iscariots dont read like normal people enough for something like this. Integra may be a sort of messy symbol for humanity narratively but the way the actual story treats her?

She's as much an outsider to humanity as the monsters are.

Been that way since that fateful day since she was 12, depending on how you imagine she was raised, maybe has always been to a degree.

Highly doubt Integra had much of a taste of normal human society. She's clearly not even remotely friendly with the other knights. Sure, she found Penwood amusing but i highly doubt they were in any capacity close. It doesn't appear the woman even Really leaves the manor outside of her job. We see her in civilian attire Once for fucks sake and it felt very 'what are normal people clothes again' to me personally. Walter and the vampires are realistically the only real close relationships she really ever had.

Seras too, has lived through something incredibly traumatic as a child and has been given no community or support, seen as at most a nuisanse. We do not get any mention of an adoptive family or other previous life to come back too, and its a context where in real life omission alone would be very telling.

Through that she has arguably too been robbed of being 'allowed' to be truly human long before she became a vampire. She was around people, sure, public school, foster care, what have you, but I somehow doubt a girl with severe ptsd would be understood much considering the time Hellsing is set in. If you're unwell as a kid you quickly learn just how conditional the care of strangers can be. Even if on paper they're meant to take care of you. She's kept up a mask of humanity with varying success but likely had known very little warmth a human life supposedly entails.

Alucard is strongly implied to believe that his humanity was torn away from him. He openly mourns it, but feels like he's been all but thrown into the grave of undeath by being forced to protect himself, and he's since only dug it so, so much deeper that he can scarcely see the sun anymore.

The very idea of being anything besides monstrous is very ludicrous to him, and he's so very jealous, of anyone who seems to have had even the slightest bit of a choice.

He was impatient and annoyed with how long it took Seras to accept her new nature because to him. It confused him to no end why Integra would never just make it official and admit her humanity was too incomplete to keep.

monsters are one way, humans are the other.

Humans have friends and family. They have homes to come back to, take care of each other, like many other animals they play and express individuality. They love, and love in uncomplicated, unconditional ways.

Monsters are inevitably alone. There isnt really a place for them to belong, they're solitary and must learn to enjoy it. Violence is, if not enjoyable, grimly necessary to a monster. A monster's attachment to others is a laborious, painful thing.

There is a clear line. You can't be both, you can't be one but keep some traits of the other.

But that's just one way of thinking, is it?

The dragon certainly starts out fitting so very neatly into the monster box. Glassy eyes, little priorities, truly alien relationship to the self. Their illness makes them appear like something that Should be dead. The way they seem to rationalize their situation comes off arguably even less human than even Alucard does.

And that would make sense! They weren't human for hundreds upon hundreds of years, in fact they were never human at all. There are some universal human experiences like how most acessible in modernity human food tastes or childhood they are fundamentally external to.

But as time goes on, as they realize that for the first time in the last few years, they're fine to stop running on empty and rest? As they find it safe enough to speak earnestly? The line gets increasingly blurry.

They start to talk of first sensible subjects like music and prose and history, but increasingly you'd find they're not simply 'making polite civilized conversation,' no. They've known some of the histories they speak of first hand, were friends with some of the writers mentioned even. They're intimately familiar with Making music, what goes into a play, and know a surprising amount about notably dated by now music production hardware and software. There's silly stories they have on hand to share.

Community to the degree Integra likely hadn't really ever known.

They've accepted certain few as siblings, they even apparently know how to take care of a child. They are currently the primary caretaker of their mysterious """benefactor's""" child because 'the woman might've wanted the kid but doesn't much care for raising one.' They genuinely care for the kid, and not Just because its someone else hurt by the same person. They seem to have Opinions on what's good for a child that seem to come from experience. It's not their first time around.

The culture to whom the human that caused them to exist belonged to? They still identify with it. Kept track of the family even, for actual hundreds of years they've been the distant relative that visits sometimes.

They seem to earnestly love the people they speak of and miss those no longer alive or who've they been unable to reach for the past nine years, which is most of them.

Family in a way Seras struggles to even imagine having.

Their illness, though something specific to nonhumans, is suddenly rather easy to recontextualize as a collection of individual rather human symptoms. Integra even has similar complaints about her joints. Their sometimes stilted speech isn't hard to accept as a mixture of something like neurodivergence and having modern english be about 5th language they learned. Humans do plenty of these same things with gender and sexuality too, thats nothing too special.

Even their suffering under the control of the woman in red, if you pay closer attention... starts looking a good bit more like plain old domestic abuse.

Yet they're very obviously Not a human, they say as much too.

The way they grieve is from a different angle, from one colored by hundreds of years of losing people, unable to forget even one. The way they love is similar, encasing every moment in amber of their eerily clear memory. They know too much historical context for every aspect of society to take much seriously, looking right for the outsiders of it for something truly interesting.

For fuck's sake, it's barely even blood what courses through their veins, even their internal anatomy is a touch off.

Somehow though, they lack Alucard's characteristic violent self hatred about it. Even in their current situation, having the very 'justification' for their abuse be that they're not human, they are very firm in the fact that being a dragon IS a cornerstone of their identity, that its not something that can be removed or altered, they wouldn't particularly want to be a human, and they're not worse off for it, they just Are who they are.

At peace with their belonging outside of humanity. Something Alucard swore to never be as much as complacent with.

They dont come in trying to challenge anything particularly, they just happen to be the kind of person the trio's worldview hadn't truly been tested against.

If any luck, maybe it'd get them to give some much needed attention to their own traits that have never quite fit the ideology either.

You know.

The real reason Integra had long known she wants Hellsing to cease to exist, at least in the way it does now.

Besides, it's kind of pointless rummaging through the shadows searching for boogeymen when monstrous humans are just as real.

"the woman in red" as the dragon calls her, may just be one.

[isaacathom]

im meant to be doing ~worldbuilding~ but i just wanna think about how Naielle will react to news about how both the heist subplots went. Since i assume the way we're working around the fact the party didnt know about the results before heading to the Black Star is like "oh, the gunpowder party didnt return to the ship before you left" or "they reported directly to the admiral (or just the commodore) about either/both and he chose not to inform the Officer's Party so they would not be distracted in the event of their very complicated and dangerous mission", right.

now the first heist mission was todays session, which was us stealing a specific artifact for an allied faction in the city. it was a shit show. civilians got involved, a room got set on fire (WE DIDNT DO THAT AND SHE DIDNT TELL US SHE WAS GOING TO), there was a minor flood, and we stole a LOT more than we were strictly meant to. Naielle won't be strictly impressed, but the logic at least checks out. we all agreed that supporting our allies was important, at least politically, so she accepts the principle. the civilian bit, oops. the fire, OOPS. the extra thefts? now the rationale provided by one party member (the truly iconic Fenton Court) was that it would disguise the primary theft and make it seem more general, less targeted. okay. sure. Naielle will accept that, to a point, but she is not happy. (incidentally, this doesnt bother the char i played today at all, since he really doesnt like her anyway. spites a powerful motive)

we've yet to do the gunpowder heist, which is also the way more complicated one. Naielle is against this one on pure principle - the party who have the gunpowder are straight up full on allies, have been nothing but kind, and gunpowder access was the ONE line in the sand. She went so far as to forewarn them about the theft, which has resulted in the heist being brought significantly forward in the timeline bc the faction leader announced her intent to destroy the gunpowder and its recipe. her stance is clear.

and that was when the mission was still just to sneak in. However, by her own action, Naielle has forced the fleets hand. She's made it worse. According to some party members, the admiral basically gave us carte blanche to do whatever it takes to get the gunpowder, and many discussions have been had about going big, going loud, seizing it not subtly but by brute force. she caused that. by an extent, whatever happens is on her.

So if the mission goes "poorly", which Naielle would define as involving significant harm done to the members of that allied faction (be it to their person or their property), then she's gonna be fucking furious at both the admiral, by extension her commanding officer, at the gunpowder party, and herself. this is fun, also, bc one member of the gunpowder party is one of her retainers, a lookout named Darcy who she very much trusts. thats rough.

now i dont anticipate darcy being particularly violent. she's a man for hire, and she has her objective, and she has no qualms about getting dirty in order to survive or complete her objective, but she wont be aiming to. whether she can convince naielle that her part in it was all peaceful at the end is another matter entirely.

if the mission goes "well" (no harm to the faction's people or property, beyond the obvious theft), naielle will be annoyed in a slightly softer angle, directing all her anger solely at the admiral and the commodore (her direct CO), and far less at hired help. i think, anyway. she's not gonna be fucking impressed either way. Naielle thinks the whole mission fucking bites.

if the mission goes "tits up" (failure to get the gunpowder and/or significant harm comes to the party), then naiele will STILL be mad at her command, but now again at herself, for being the reason security was heightened above the normal (whoops).

no matter what she holds the admiral responsible for what happens (given his apparent command to do 'whatever it takes'). whether she blames the commodore depends on the vibe, and perhaps particularly how much shit his retainer gets up to. whether she blames herself depends on how poorly the mission goes for either the faction or the party. whether she blames the party depends on how much damage they cause. this is the vibes. naielles gonna be pissed

also again the fact naielle ratted the fleet out to the faction might complicate all of this further. if that comes to light during the mission, then all bets are off.

That does make the temporality of it all a little difficult, though. bc surely if they found evidence that Naielle had betrayed them, that info would have been forwarded to the Commodore posthaste. And while I know he trusts Naielle decently well, that much? enough to still bring her on the black star mission? now arguably thats not my problem to figure out - thats a matter for his player and maybe the gm to rationalise. eg: naielle's specific expertise in planar matters is too valuable to NOT take on that mission, and any consequences can be delayed until the party's safe return. or that his retainer decides to withhold that information so as not to interfere with that mission. that latter one is unlikely bc the vibe i get is that he would tell vandervest everything, but still. regardless i think about it.

its not even guaranteed itll come to light. its possible it wont. im just excited

[tea-nblankets]

note 2 self: don't post it on the internet if you wouldn't say it infront of everyone you know

[milkytheholy1]

Busy

I just love your 2018 leonardo, like mwah! Beautiful! I dont know if you do oneshots soley but if you did could we have one with leon and the reader just making out and the mood is great but then whoops !family! Just leon being embarresed especially because y/n just thinks its so freaking halarious

A/N: Hi, thank you so much I love writing for the turtles their so fun to do. Especially writing for Leo, besides being my favourite turtle in general, he's just also super fun to write for. So far I've only ever written oneshots (so you're in luck) but I am thinking of branching out into writing headcanons if anyone would be interested in that? Please let me know if you would and send in some requests. Again thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leo had invited you over to play some games and lounge around watching movies, it was the weekend after all. After a hard week of school you really just wanted to relax, and who better to relax with than your boyfriend. Mikey had recently ventured out onto the surface to grab a new Lou Jitsu game he found on the internet, of course, Raph was very apprehensive about sending him on his own, but, after a few minutes of convincing him, and a slice of pizza, he came around.

While waiting for the box turtle to come back with the game cartridge, you decided to head to the kitchen to whip up a little snack. Swaying your hips to a tune playing in your head, your hands effortless worked on making a sandwich for your rumbling tummy. Sneaking up behind you, Leo wrapped his arms around your waist his beak nuzzling into your hair. A small chuckle fell from your lips as he continued to breathe in your shampoo "Hmmm~ you've changed your shampoo." he hummed into your neck, your body shivered at the sensation.

Leo's grip around your waist tightened as you tried to move away from his grasp, his lips pecked your shoulder but slowly then ran-up to your neck, a laugh escaped your lips. His lips brushed past your ear whispering sweet nothings and witty comments, your cheeks going pink with what he was suggesting. Pushing from his grip and smacking his arm you quickly exclaimed a "Leo!", you returned to your forgotten sandwich your stomach still rumbling.

You could hear his boisterous laugh from behind you, knowing he wore a devilish smirk. Wrapping his hand around your arm, he gently tugged you away from the kitchen and into his room, your complaints filling his head. Angered that you were forced to leave your perfectly good sandwich, you pouted as he closed the curtain to his room. His eyes flickered back to you, taking in your childish form, "Oh c'mon, I'll get you some pizza later."

"It's not the same." you protested, Leo sauntered over to you his arms behind his shell. "It's not the same," he mused, walking towards you, your feet automatically taking steps back as he approached. Leo cackled as he watched you sink down onto his bed, crouching down with ease, he elegantly climbed on top of you his eyes filled with mischief. With a swagger to his actions, Leo confidently leaned down to your lips brushing them together before he slowly devoured the plump flesh.

Melting into his embrace, your arms snaked up over his plastron earning a churr from his inner consciousness, your palms continued to rub up to his shoulders giving them a slight squeeze. Finally, your fingers reached the blue cloth of his bandana wrapping the soft fabric around your fingers and tugging it closer to your face. In turn, Leo followed after his beak bumping into your own nose, but neither of you minded. Leo's hands ventured down to your hips, his fingers grazing the soft skin revealed by your partly-elevated shirt.

As the kiss became more heated you failed to notice the way your body curved into Leo's, as though you two were meant to be together. Leo pulled his lips away from yours, your breaths mixing together in the silent air. Your eyes sparkled as you stared at his face, tracing over his red stripes or the shit-eating grin on his features. Leo pulled your hands away from his neck, his fingers rubbing calming circles into your skin, moving your bare wrist to his lips he placed fleeting kisses against your pulse.

Smiling up at him with love in your eyes, you placed your hand on his cheek pulling him back to your lips. Leo let out a small laugh but it was quickly silenced when your lips made contact again, the kiss had become more urgent at an embarrassingly fast rate. Leo had gone from your lips to your neck, sucking and biting the skin with a cocky aurora to him. Red marks littered your neck, shoulders and chest, your moans were most likely loud enough for the other brothers to hear all the way in the projector room.

Leo was now sat on your lower stomach, having pulled away from your neck to admire his work. Glancing down you pouted wondering how you were going to cover up the hickeys "I think I made my point clear." he snickered, "And what point was that?" you whined, sending him a frown. Leo leaned close once again, taking your chin between his fingers, his lips hovering over your own.

"That you're mine," he growled out, taking your lips in his. You moaned out more in surprise, but you soon melted back into his hands; you had quickly become putty. Your eyes had closed on their own, unable to handle the pleasure of Leo. The dark bedroom was suddenly illuminated in a pale yellow light, a loud scream pulled you away from him.

"LEO'S EATING (Y/N)'S FACE!!!" Mikey roared, his hands cupped around his cheeks. The other two brothers piled into the room, your cheeks were as bright as the hickeys around your chest. Leo shot his brothers a glare, darting off of your body, he stood awkwardly next to his bed his arms crossed in a pout. Leo mumbled out a quick "Why are you here?" clearly embarrassed about being caught.

No one seemed to want to speak first, after some fleeting glances from Mikey and Donnie, Raph was elected to talk. He opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out, rubbing his neck in discomfort, he tried to think of how to delicately put 'we could hear (Y/N)'s moans from the kitchen' but he just couldn't find a way. Having enough of the tense atmosphere you broke the silence "Mikey, when did you get back dude? I've been waiting to play this game you brought."

You spoke as though they hadn't just barged in on you and Leo in an intimate position, all four of the brothers stared at you confused. Mikey gave Donnie the side-eye before going along with you "Erm, I got back a few minutes ago. But we can play the game when you're not, erm...busy." A small smirk adorned your face, the brothers seriously lacked social skills you thought. Nodding your head to Mikey, an innocent smile on your lips, you agreed and said you "wouldn't be long" although you swore you could have heard Leo grumble when you said it.

Raph glanced at his younger brother in blue, giving him a timid smile "Well, erm, let's just leave these guys to it. I'm sure they'll join us when they're...done." Raph was the first to bolt out of the room, the cobalt curtain fluttering in the breeze he left. Mikey cast a final glance to you, who was still perched on Leo's bed with hickey marks extremely visible, you gave him a small wave as he bounced on the balls of his feet and out of the room. Donnie left without saying anything, too busy playing on his tech-brace to notice what was going on in the room. However, he did poke his head back in to warn you about the marks on your chest, Leo grew annoyed and embarrassed as he kicked Donnie out of his room.

Leaning against the wall beside his bed, Leo let out a long sigh "I don't think that could have gone any worse." he joked, although his cheeks were still pink. Your laughter filled the air, tears slipping past your eyes, holding your stomach you rolled onto your back. It felt good to finally let out the chuckles you'd been storing when the brothers came in, feeling that it would have been rude to laugh right at their faces.

Calming down, you patted the space on his bed next to you offering him a comforting smile "Aw come on it was adorable, did you see how awkward they got," you pointed out "You guys seriously need to work on your social skills."

"Social skills, eh?" he inquired, beginning to lean over you again. Placing one of his arms beside your hips for balance he soon was on top of you. He raised a brow at you, his embarrassed nature seemingly gone "Mind teaching me? Although I have to warn you, I'm a physical learner." Going back into a heated make out, the world was barely there for you but one voice did stick out: "Ooh a sandwich."

You gasped, pushing a startled Leo off of you and making your way to the kitchen "RAPH GET AWAY FROM MY SANDWICH!"

[rigginsstreet]

If Billy were to go the pure evil route, do you think there’s a better way you’d go about it or like to see it play out? Like how do you feel about fics where Billy is really the tragic type

i feel most of the fics i read where billys like full dick, no redemptive qualities, are smut.... lmfao so. probably not the best scale to judge by 😂

are we talking about billy, as a human, being evil? because thats severely different from him having a better villain/possession arc. 

honestly, at this point, i think the best route to take wouldve been billy lighting everyones ass up for not helping him. and yes, i get that like, max is a kid. what is she supposed to do? or how literally nobody else knows about his abuse, so what are they supposed to do? i get that part of it

but if we’re talking billy going full villain, then fuck logic. just have him be pissed at everyone for not intervening. AND let him kill his actual abusers (neil AND karen). actually from there, have him kill karen first. and then mike and nancy will be like “you killed our mom you bitch!” and billys like “your moms a predator, hate to break it to you, but if you still wanna defend her you an die too i guess. no sweat off my back”. so like we can go that way. i think hes more than earned that. to just slaughter everyone

if youre asking me about him getting a proper villain arc fro the get go and not the lame ass shit the duffers wanted to pull...

you gotta go bigger. and you also cant have him focus on kids way younger than him like thats lame. i mean... dont get me wrong. fuck them kids. im not concerned about them. its just like... a boring narrative. keep the max shit because thats actually grounded in something. of course hes gonna take his anger out on her when hes forced to be her caretaker. thats gonna breed resentment. 

but they shoulda upped the shit with steve by a gazillion. show me REAL bullying. go further than bullying. go full psychopathy lmao. i want this man UNHINGED and INSANE.

i wanna see billy with a knife so bad why wasnt he ever given a knife oh my god. 

and play up how charming he can be. that facade he puts up to get by, to get something out of people. make him SCARY. really show how easily he can slip that mask on and off so that when he does go apeshit and starts cutting up steve in a backalley the audience FEELS something

and like... im not an abuse victim. so i cant say what is and isnt right to show in a tv show depicting one, but for me as a viewer, i wouldnt mind keeping in the neil aspect, really showing how bad it can get, so long as he still gets his comeuppance and when he does no one feels bad about it. 

like i very much understand not wanting to make the abused kid the villain. i will not argue with anyone who doesnt ever want to see that in any capacity. but for me? i very much operate under the idea of anyone is capable of being good or bad. its a roll of the dice how a person is gonna turn out. so i do think there was a way to incorporate billys history and still make him the villain the duffers clearly wanted him to be. its just... you gotta go bigger. this is not a story meant for a minor character. you gotta really commit to it. and they didnt. which was the problem. it just... fell totally and completely flat

i love how i went straight to murder lmfao like this show was ever gonna give us a serial killer kfjbgjksbg

i was thinking bout billy loomis my bad.

for me, a successful villain is one you wanna root for. which in itself will be a controversial take lmao but thats just my personal opinion okay. when theres a villain who im just watching like “i want you dead i want you dead please die”.... i dont know that thats as fun for me. and its not that i necessarily agree with what theyre doing or whatever. its more that like... you can tell a bitch is having a good time lmao whether it be the actor in the role or the character themselves or both. villains gotta be a party. like when billy was whooping and hollering and laughing during the fight? EXACTLY that energy. we needed more of that. the unhinged clapping in the sauna scene? mr dacre kayd understood the ENTIRE assignment 

i want to end this by saying i think billy shouldve held a knife to steves throat and made him bleed. i would like to see. i would also like to see steve holding a knife to billys throat and billys dick getting hard. ive said this before. i will say it again!

oh my god billy straddling steve and carving into his chest ???? imma stop imma stop we get my point by now

[logosbot-tm-fics]

WHOOP WHOOP ANOTHER CHAPTER LET'S GOOOOOOOOO

Take My Tea With Formaldehyde

[Start] [<Previous] [Next>]

Chapter 4: Take My Tea With Formaldehyde

(More beneath the cut)

"...so you're going on a break?"

Ariana laughed a bit, her long brown hair following her movements. 

"Yeah, I'm going on a break," she replied, smiling gracefully and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Her silver earrings sparkled in the light of the studio, shimmering like stars.

"That sounds like a good decision," the talk show host flashed a smile in response, one that didn’t reach his eyes no matter how you looked at it. Everything about him was flawless, from the meticulous style of his hair to his creaseless suit – he seemed too well-practised to be real. He seemed plastic. 

“May I ask you why?" he prodded, and Ariana gave a smile that seemed far more genuine, although a little strained.

"Well," Ariana said, and if you didn't know what to look for, you wouldn't have heard her voice waver, “Mostly because of my mental health, at the moment. Iskall – he's my manager – and I discussed it, and we both agreed that it was for the better." 

The interviewer furrowed his eyebrows a bit, and he looked down at his cards. He didn't seem satisfied, pushing the topic further, "It has nothing to do with the alleged drama between you and Scottune then?" His voice bordered on annoyed. 

"Oh, goodness no!" Ariana smiled, chuckling a little awkwardly as she fixed her skirt. “She's actually rather supportive of me taking a break. There's no drama between us." 

"None at all?" He pressed.

"None at all," Ariana confirmed, nodding. Either she was ignoring his invasiveness, or she genuinely didn't notice. She paused for a moment, before joking, "Well, unless you count her stealing my lipstick…"

The talk show host laughed in response, something fake and repetitive, as though he had practised it over and over. Ariana simply smiled good-naturedly and the audience laughed along. 

“That's good to hear," the talk show host looked down at the cards in his hands, shuffling them around them until he came to one he seemed to like. "Now, how-"

Zap!

Mumbo shut off the TV, he’d already seen the interview multiple times, and he wasn’t really interested in listening once again to the rest of it. Honestly, he was just using it as a distraction from what he should actually be doing. 

His phone laid on the coffee table, screen facing up.

He should probably text Grian. 

~

<Peskybird> anyway so iskall half forced me to take a break

(20:31)

<Peskybird> he was nagging about how ‘it's not good for you to work so much’ etc etc etc

(20:31)

<Peskybird> he can be very convincing when he wants to.. kinda like my dad used to be when he got concerned lol

(20:31)

<You> Isn't that a good thing?

(20:31) 

<You> That he cares, is what I mean. Not him forcing you. 

(20:32)

<You> Forcing someone to do something isn't good, of course. 

(20:32)

<You> I meant him caring, that’s a good thing, right?

(20:32)

<Peskybird> i guess??? idk

(20:32)

<Peskybird> its kinda annoying ngl

(20:32)

<Peskybird> dont get me wrong i appreciate the support but sometimes he acts a bit too much like my parent, and i kinda feel like hes treating me like a child 

(20:32)

<Peskybird> i don't really like that part

(20:32)

<You> That makes sense, I wouldn't really like that either.

(20:32)

<Peskybird> yeah

(20:33)

<Peskybird> still, im happy that he cares. its comforting :)

(20:33)

<Peskybird> anyways thats not really important lol

(20:33)

<Peskybird> how are you doing?

(20:33)

<You> I'm alright.

(21:03)

<Peskybird> are you sure?

(21:05)

<You> Yup.

(21:21)

<Peskybird> 100%?

(21:22)

<You> 100%. :)

(21:34)

~

Ever since Grian messaged him a few weeks earlier, they hadn't been able to stop texting. At first, they spoke awkwardly about how Grian was doing, conversations interrupted and shaky as they learned how to speak to each other again. It got better, after a week or so, and now they’re back to talking mostly as normal.

Though Mumbo tries hard not to dwell on the fact that they don’t really talk about what happened.  

Each night they would stay up late messaging each other, it didn't matter how early they needed to be up. Each of them would forget about the time passing as they spoke, too occupied with talking to the other to even notice. 

They'd text "good morning!" almost daily, check up on each other whenever they had chance during the day, and have long conversations at night.

 

Despite this, despite them texting almost constantly, they still had yet to meet up.

Mumbo never had the courage to ask, and each time either of them so much as mentioned the idea, the other would steer the topic away as if they were scared. 

They also avoided phone calls, though Mumbo wasn't really sure why. Hearing each other’s voices like that shouldn't be an issue, not as much as meeting up was.

Despite that, despite their avoidance of certain topics, their skirting around ideas of doing anything more, Mumbo felt less lonely. 

He missed Grian less. A lot less. 

Just being able to talk to him made him happy, and he didn't want to do anything that would make it go away. He was so scared to do something that would ruin this new, fragile, good thing.

As their messages went on, Mumbo also slowly started to believe that maybe, just maybe, the whole thing hadn't been his fault. 

~

Slowly, Iskall began to swing by Mumbo’s more often again, showing up at random times.  Sometimes early, sometimes late. As if he just really wanted to see Mumbo at any chance he could. 

Mumbo didn't mind. In fact, he rather enjoyed having company. It made the flat feel less lonely; more lived in.

Sometimes Iskall would stay late into the night, the pair of them laughing together for hours, which often ended with them playing Mario Kart and eating take out. 

Iskall would never stay over, he preferred to sleep in his own flat. It hardly mattered though, Mumbo still really liked the company. 

He felt less lonely. 

~

Grian had sent a text that spiralled Mumbo into mild panic. 

<Peskybird> can i come over? 

(16:34)

<Peskybird> it’s okay if youre busy

(16:36)

Mumbo stared at the messages for a long while. His ears were ringing, his thoughts battling, as he read them over and over again. It felt like they weren’t real, like the question was some fantastical dream that his brain had conjured up while he slept. 

He pinched himself. They were real. 

Some part of Mumbo expected him to dwell over the message for hours, desperately trying to come to a decision about such a conflicting question, but, unlike when Iskall had asked, he found himself responding easily, sending a reply as soon as he realised that what it said wasn't a weird hallucination. 

<You> Sure, feel free to come over in an hour. I have some things to do first. :) 

(16:39)

<Peskybird> okay cool :D

(16:40)

Mumbo nodded to himself, feeling confident, almost excited. He was going to see Grian again– he really was! Grian wanted to come over and spend time with him! 

It felt like a big step, it felt like something in his chest had finally settled back into the right place, like things were going to be okay again.

He stood from the couch quickly, elated, and had a look around at his messy flat. First things first, he should clean up.

He began to run through the apartment, putting dirty clothes into the hamper, making his bed, and washing the dishes as fast as he could. He was a hurricane of motion, trying to clean the place as quickly as possible, and feeling more productive, more fulfilled, than he had in weeks. 

He wasn't sure why he felt the need to clean, really. Iskall had been there recently when the apartment was messy, and Grian was more than used to it being messy.

Or well, messy by Mumbo's standards, Grian usually found it rather clean. 

So… why did he feel the need to clean?

He paused in his motion and thought about it for a second. He never felt the need to clean whenever Grian visited, not usually. 

What was different about this time?

He couldn't figure it out, shaking himself out of his stupor and going to find something else to focus on instead. 

That something ended up being making tea, as he slowly remembered how Grian liked his.

He preferred flowery teas, the type that tastes like sunflowers and roses. The type that smells like a flower garden. He often had milk in it, along with honey, claiming that the overpowering sweetness made it taste a lot better. That it made the tea remind him of picnics in flower fields during the middle of summer. 

It was cute, Mumbo thought.

The tall man hummed softly as he poured the boiling water over the tea, and put out the milk, honey and the tea cups. 

Now, he just had to wait for Grian to arrive.

He was excited.

~

Mumbo, as usual, hadn’t locked his door. 

He expected Grian, as usual, to just wander inside. 

But… this time, he didn't. Instead of hearing the old door creak open, someone shuffling in his hallway as they removed their shoes and coat, Mumbo heard a soft, almost cautious knock. 

He didn’t move at first, simply staying where he was on the couch as he waited for the person to enter. It wasn't until he heard knocking a second time, slightly louder and bolder than the first, that he actually realised the person at the door wasn’t about to just waltz in.

What?

Grian had knocked. 

He hadn't walked inside. 

He had knocked.

Suddenly, the excitement that had been fluttering in his stomach turned to nerves, churning and ugly. This was different to what he had hoped it would be. The evidence of their falling out was still clear.

Mumbo considered shouting that the door was open, that Grian could just let himself in, but it didn't feel right to do so. Instead, he stood up on shaky legs and went to open the door.

Standing on the other side was a very worried looking Grian.

He saw just a flash of the expression, before Grian’s face quickly changed into a small smile, as if he didn't want Mumbo to see it.

For a second, they just stared at each other in silence. 

Mumbo couldn't help but notice how out of place Grian looked. He seemed small… smaller than usual. He stood awkwardly, glancing around like he didn’t belong there. Like this was a place he wasn’t supposed to be.

Mumbo tried to think of something to say, desperately running through greetings and topics of conversation, trying to find something that felt right. Before he managed, Grian spoke.

"Hi," he said, raising his hand to give Mumbo a small wave. He shot him a nervous smile that made Mumbo's heart ache.

It didn't look right on him.

~

They made their way inside soon after, automatically settling in the kitchen. Grian sat down in his usual chair, the one across the table from Mumbo’s He seemed strangely uncomfortable in the space, shifting stiffly as he stared at every detail of the room, taking them all in like this was the first time he had ever seen them. 

The two sat in silence as Mumbo poured the tea. Somehow, either because they knew each other so well, or because Mumbo had a good memory, Grian's cup still ended up with the exact right amount of honey and milk. 

Grian hummed his thanks as he took a sip from the warm, sweet tea. Mumbo silently did the same, blowing lightly at his tea before taking a sip. He stared down at his mug when it settled back on the table, looking at it intently as to avoid accidentally meeting Grian’s gaze. He focused on the way the milk swirled around the dark liquid, not stirred but still mingling with it, the blooming pattern appeared akin to smoke.

It wasn't until he heard Grian beginning to stir his tea that Mumbo looked up.  

His hair half covered his expression while he looked down at the spoon, at the cup, at the contents swirling together into one. He seemed thoughtful, mouth partially open like he wanted to say something but hadn't quite found the words yet. 

Whatever it was he was trying to vocalise, it seemed to require some effort, as he opened and closed his mouth a few times, never quite forming the words. 

Mumbo waited patiently. He didn't want to interrupt Grian's train of thought, or push him into sharing what he wanted to before he was ready. Not when he was seeming to struggle so much to just phrase the words. Instead he just watched Grian stir tea.

Then, suddenly, Grian said, "Did you know that there either is," he paused for a second, brows furrowed as he collected his thoughts, "or used to be, formaldehyde in milk?" 

What.

"What?" Mumbo responded, rather confused. 

"Yeah. It was a preservative of some kind, I’m pretty sure," Grian continued to stare down at his cup, letting go of the spoon he had been gripping.

It was silent for a second. 

The air was… odd. Not quite tense, but certainly not casual. Certainly not what it used to be, before all of this.

Then Grian spoke again, "Which means that I'm technically taking my tea with formaldehyde." He tilted his head to the side, a few locks of hair falling into his eyes as they remained locked on the mug between his hands, but his mind seemed to be elsewhere. 

"I...what?" Mumbo wasn't quite following the conversation, "Isn't formaldehyde dangerous?" He eventually, cautiously, asked. 

"Yeah,” Grian shrugged, “That doesn't stop people from putting it into makeup and stuff." 

Mumbo’s mind was spinning, entirely baffled as he tried desperately to figure out what made Grian say such a random thing. 

"Huh…interesting." Mumbo replied slowly after a long moment, unsure of how else to respond. 

"Take my tea with formaldehyde…" Grian mumbled, bringing his mug up to his mouth and sipping at his tea, eyes askance. 

The room grew quiet again. Mumbo, unsure of what else he could be doing, simply observed Grian’s movements. They were stuttered, somewhat stiff and robotic-looking, and Mumbo was once again struck by how out of place he looked in the flat. 

God, it didn't look right at all.

Despite the awkwardness, despite the long silences and stumbling conversations,  Mumbo couldn’t help but find it comforting. The two of them, drinking tea together. Despite every little detail that wasn’t as it should be, it was nice. 

He'd missed Grian. 

Missed his presence. 

Maybe this was why they had just been texting. 

It was easier to know what to say when you had time to think about it properly. Time to write and rewrite the message before sending. Time to back out, to change your mind.

That's probably why they hadn't called. 

"I'm sorry." 

The silence shattered like glass as Grian whispered the apology.

Mumbo blanked for a moment, his fingers turning stiff and the cup of tea falling from his grip,  hitting the table with a harsh crick. He ignored the tea spilling onto the table, ignored the way that it dripped onto his clothes, looking up at Grian instead of the tea that began to drip onto the floor.

Grian's hand gripped his cup tightly, his face covered by his hair, obscuring his face, his body hunched forward. His shoulders shook, rapid shivers wracking his small form where he sat.

Mumbo stared down at Grian's whitening knuckles, at the way his bitten nails clawed at the mug, before slowly registering the tears falling down from Grian's cheeks. They kept coming, rivers passing over his skin and falling into his tea, making it splash slightly as they hit the surface. 

"I'm really sorry," Grian whispered, his voice shaking just as much as his body. 

Mumbo sat silently, reeling, trying to organise the thoughts that flew through his head. 

Grian simply continued to cry, unwavering sobs passing his lips with a force that had him bending further, his forehead practically connecting with the rim of his teacup. 

"I'm sorry for just disappearing–" he cut himself off with a desperate gasp for breath, chest rising and falling choppily, "I know it was really shitty of me to disappear, I know that I really shouldn't have done that. I'm so, so sorry, I’m sorry, I–" He looked up at Mumbo, exhaustion pooling behind his brown eyes, more vulnerable than Mumbo had seen him in a long while. 

"It was really shitty of me– I’ve been a pretty shit excuse for a friend lately."

His words hung heavy in the air like smog, tangible and viscous, dripping down each of their backs with an uncomfortable grip as Mumbo slowly processed them. 

"It's okay," Mumbo settles on saying, eventually. His voice was tired and gentle, and he stood clumsily from his chair after a moment, going over to the other. 

"What?" Now it was Grian's turn to be surprised. "But–"

"Grian,” Mumbo said, firmly, interrupting him. “It's okay. I forgive you." 

Disbelief was obvious on the other’s face, staining his expression in the same way that Mumbo’s spilt tea soaked into his trousers; creeping and gradual. It wasn't until Mumbo wrapped his arms around Grian, arms shaking and holding him perhaps a little too tight, that the other seemed to realise that he was being genuine. 

"You– I don’t… thank you." Grian whispered, voice shaking, whilst he wrapped his arms around Mumbo as well. "Thank you."

"I've been able to tell you haven't been feeling well lately,” Mumbo murmured as he pet Grian's hair, “I was so scared that it was my fault. I don't blame you for disappearing."

At that, Grian let go of Mumbo, bringing his shaking hands up to cup Mumbo’s face, rubbing his thumbs tenderly along his jaw. He looked at the other resolutely with sad, worried eyes, gaze unwavering as he spoke, "Mumbo, what happened had nothing to do with you,” he looked close to tears again, eyes shining with some deep, unspoken pain, “I want to know that."

"I know,” Mumbo replied softly, closing his eyes and resting his head more intentionally in Grian's hands. “I just… got scared, I guess

"I'm sorry," Grian said again, looking guilty. "I shouldn't have disappeared."

"It's okay," Mumbo said again, "It's okay." He gave Grian a small smile. "I just want you to be alright. If you ever need anything, just message me. I'll always be here to listen."

It took a while, but eventually Grian smiled back. It was shaky and unsure, and didn’t quite reach his eyes, as if he had difficulty believing that Mumbo actually meant what he said.

As Mumbo pulled Grian in for another hug, he decided that he'd make sure that Grian knew that he'd support him. 

It didn't matter if it would take years to do so.

The tea continued to drip onto the floor.

~

A few days later, Grian and Mumbo were out on the town, just walking around, window shopping. 

Neither was really sure why they were out on a walk, but it felt like they both needed it. Needed to get some air, to just do something together. Something that wasn't watching Ariana Griande shows, or playing video games.

In Mumbo's hands was a styrofoam cup filled with coffee, while Grian held one with hot chocolate. Grian had never liked coffee, nor any other type of caffeinated drink, complaining about the headaches they tended to give him. He only ever drank one if he desperately needed energy, and even then it was just a small amount. 

Both of their drinks were beginning to cool, but they still drank them slowly, using the time to just silently enjoy being in each other’s presence. 

They turned a corner, and Grian spotted something in the distance, stopping where he was.  Mumbo looked back at him, stood frozen in the middle of the pavement, and followed Grian's gaze, confused. 

There, when he finally managed to track down whatever it was that had magnetised Grian’s attention, was an Ariana Griande poster. 

It was plastered on the side of a bus stop, and Mumbo knew with certainty that it had been there for months. The album it was promoting was long-since out, with newer music being released since that one had, but the poster still held strong against the scratched up plastic, remaining clearly readable.

If Mumbo had been in a different mood, he might have taken it down and brought it home, but… it didn't feel right to do so this time. 

Grian sighed, dragging Mumbo’s attention away from the poster as he spoke, "I heard that she's also taking a break." He turned to look at Mumbo, blinking quickly. 

"Uh– yeah,” Mumbo replied, tilting his head to look over his shoulder at the poster once again. Ariana smiled widely on it, her brown eyes seeming to sparkle as the image stared on, unbothered by the strange atmosphere she had seemed to create. Mumbo continued hurriedly, “Iskall had to convince her to do so, from what I know." 

Grian hummed, "That's good. He seems to have a talent for convincing people to take care of themselves."

Mumbo chuckled slightly, "He really does."

They stood quietly for another moment, before Grian began to walk again and Mumbo jolted to follow after him.

"You know,” Grian began, his tone conversational, “He tried to convince me to start therapy." 

Mumbo was taken aback by the information for a second, before he replied, "Oh?"

"Yeah," Grian sighed. "And I thought about it for a while…" He paused, drinking some of his chocolate, "but I just… don't feel ready yet. If that makes sense."

It didn't really, but Mumbo still replied with a, "Yeah."

Grian, knowing Mumbo too well, snorted, and then elaborated anyway, "There's just… some things I feel like I have to deal with, before I get therapy. I don't really feel like it would help me much, not at the moment anyway," he sighed again. "I honestly feel more scared than comforted."

That didn't make any sense at all to Mumbo, and it must have shown on his face because Grian huffed out a soft laugh again. 

"What do you mean?" He asked. 

"I… I don't really know," Grian replied. "I guess there's some things that I'm too scared to face– that I don't particularly want to face. Not yet, anyway. I feel like they'd just… make everything worse, y’know?"

Maybe Grian was an expert at confusing people, or maybe Mumbo just simply didn't relate to Grian’s experience. Maybe it was a common feeling to be scared of facing one's issues.

"No," Mumbo replied, truthfully. 

The laugh Grian gave was a proper one, this time. One that had his head tilting back with the force of it, his lips breaking into a grin. The type of laugh that didn’t necessarily hold joy, rather being filled with a heavy relief. 

"That makes me glad to hear, honestly," he nudged Mumbo’s arm gently. "It's not a fun feeling. I wouldn’t really want you understanding that, I don’t want you to feel this way."

"It doesn't sound fun." 

"It really isn't," Grian continued to smile, though something in his expression twisted slightly. It looked bittersweet. "It really isn't. "

The conversation died there, and the two continued to walk. 

Eventually, Mumbo finished his drink, throwing away the empty cup in a nearby bin. A short while later, he was holding Grian's hand in his as the other continued to sip at his, at that point, cold chocolate. 

Holding Grian's hand made the butterflies in Mumbo's stomach come to life, fluttering dizzily and filling him with a soft, smitten happiness that he hadn't felt in a few months. 

As they walked, stopping at random stores and browsing the products. They laughed together, making jokes and keeping conversation going easily, and Mumbo started to feel… happy. He felt happy again. 

Maybe this meant that things were changing. 

Right?

[simfulwoohoo]

It’s Ladsfest!!! Don didn’t want to spend the holidays alone so he put out an ad for single bros to come spend the day at his. There would be food, drinks and holiday cheer.

They made dinner together, a ham roast, which apparently Joe (?? i think Joe Carr I can’t remember anymore lol) was out of the room when the decision was made because he’s a VEGGIE and then Don forced him to eat a plate. Over all he made really good friends with Oscar del Fuego (sp on his last name as well WHOOPS dont at me) and one good friend is better then none. 

Father Winter stopped by for a cup of joe and some cookies that the lads had made after dinner. He gave Don a lump of coal because lets be honest, he’s been a bit of a bastard this year.

Don is feeling really good about himself though, he sought out what he meant to do and made some guy friends so his whole life isn’t revolved around the women he’s seeing and if all goes well he’ll get to be a real dad soon. He finishes this rotation 30 years old!