#...and praised it. i loved being able to take part in this event but honestly i wish i wouldn't have watched the stream. it made me upset...

[reiding-writing]

hi! could you write prompt 6 from the angsty dialogue prompts for the climacteric event? fem/gn reader whatever you prefer, i was thinking that reader finds out something about spencer and it results in this messy situation, but honestly how you want to do it is all up to you!

JEALOUSY [CLIMACTERIC]

6. “Don’t touch me.”

WARNINGS: spencer is a bit of a twat but apologises profusely afterwards, arguing, happy? ending

spencer reid x gn!reader || angst || 2.5k || event masterlist!!

main masterlist!!

a/n: majority vote chose this one to come out first 🫶 they also chose for it to have a happy ending bc y’all are really boring /j (i love you guys you aren’t boring i swear 🫶)

Spencer Reid grew up too fast.

He was remarkably smart for his age, that much was a given, but in terms of emotional development Spencer was forced to skip what should’ve been his childhood.

He didn’t get to experience what it felt like be praised over a rudimentary piece of ‘art’ by his parents, because he was ‘too intelligent’ for that.

He didn’t get to go out on a Saturday morning with his father to learn how to play a ball game because his dad was never around.

He didn’t get to be coddled by his mother when he cried because by the time he was nine he was her full time carer.

Ironically, his childhood was an era of time where he could barely remember a single detail, despite his renowned eidetic memory, and it only seemed to further prove that Spencer Reid’s childhood didn’t exist.

All he could remember was what didn’t happen. The key milestones of his life that he never got to live through.

To say that impacted his emotional availability was an understatement. Spencer had never been one to ask for help from other people, but in instances where he really felt like he was about to fall apart it was even worse. He’d grown up with the expectation that he was responsible for his own well being. That him and him alone was the only thing that could get him through whatever dark patch that he went through.

He didn’t need anyone else. He wasn’t allowed anyone else. It was just him, always.

You were decidedly the opposite. You wore your emotions on your sleeve, and for the most part, Spencer found it entirely refreshing to watch you be able to express yourself with no holds barred and no internal monologue telling you that what you were doing was wrong.

Sometimes he wished he could do the same.

There were times of his career where he wished you’d do something wrong, that you’d make a mistake or cross a boundary and it’d allow him to exert all of the anger and deep-seeded jealously he felt whenever he saw you be so open with yourself.

He knew it was horrible of him, and more often than not the minute those thoughts invaded his mind he thought of nothing more than how much of a terrible person he was. He was wishing ill on you just because you’d managed to have a healthy emotional output.

Because he was inherently broken from all the years of keeping everything to himself.

“Are you okay?”

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows at the sound of your voice, gaze turning upwards from the mug of coffee sitting on the kitchenette counter to meet your face, covered in worry lines as you furrow your own eyebrows.

He hated when you looked at him like that. Like he was something to be pitied.

“I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” Spencer presses his lips together in an awkward line of a smile, a staple of his character that seemed much less genuine than usual from your point of view.

“You’ve uh- You’ve been stood here staring at your mug for almost five minutes,” Spencer flickers his eyes up to the analogue clock on the wall at your declaration.

You were right, he’d been stood in a state of dissociation for almost a whole five minutes without realising it. Great, that’s just wonderful. Like his life couldn’t get any worse.

“Everything’s fine,” He gives you another one of those awkward smiles as he takes his mug in between both of his hands, the ceramic barely even warm anymore, which tells him that his coffee isn’t hot enough for him to actually enjoy it, but right now he’d take a cup of warm coffee over standing here talking to you about his ‘feelings’.

But you’ve never made things easy.

“It’s not though is it? Something’s wrong Spencer, everyone in the office can tell,” You sigh softly at the indignation on his face as you prod at what’s going on inside his head. “We’re worried about you…” You reach out your hand slowly to lay it on his arm, and he pulls away from you without a second thought.

“Please don’t touch me,” He takes a step to the side, clearly trying to bypass you and get back to his desk so he can escape the conversation. “I said I’m fine.”

“And you’re lying Spencer.” You step in the same direction that he does, effectively blocking his path out of the kitchenette. “We need to know what the issue is or we can’t help you Spencer,” Your voice is tinged with a small amount of desperation, and it irks Spencer in a way that he can’t even fully comprehend.

“You want to know what the issue is?” He puts his mug back down on the counter with enough force that small droplets of coffee spill over the rim and onto the granite underneath it. “It’s you.”

He leans forward slightly like he’s trying to emphasise his point. “You are the issue.”

His words hit you like a ton of bricks, and all of a sudden you’re regretting caring so much.

God you’re beginning to regret even waking up this morning. Maybe that would’ve spared you from the stake in your heat that was Spencer Reid explicitly telling you that you were the sole reason why he was acting differently. Why he was being cold and distant from the team and their genuine want to just make sure he’s okay.

Because they couldn’t do that. Because you were a part of the team. And as long as you were there that coldness wouldn’t go away.

“Right…” You press your lips into a line. “Sorry for asking.”

Spencer regrets what he said almost as soon as the words come out of his mouth. He watches as that usual sparkle of compassion in your eyes literally fizzles out right in front of him, and all of a sudden he feels like an absolutely horrible person.

As you turn to leave he reaches out a hand to stop you. He doesn’t know what he’s going to say, how could he possibly redeem himself after a comment like that? But his body runs on autopilot and all he knows is that he needs to apologise to you. “Wait—”

“Don’t— touch me Reid,” You pull your arms further into yourself to stop him from reaching out to them, and he swears his heart breaks at the sight of you being dismissive. And then there was the added blow of you using his surname to further distance yourself from him and making him want to cut out his tongue so saying something so rash with absolutely zero provocation. “I understood you the first time.”

It was a complete turn of your character, all semblance of warmth and vulnerability evaporated and replaced with a cold, hard shell that Spencer could see calcifying behind your eyes.

“I-“

“I’ll leave you be now.”

And with that you disappear around the corner, leaving Spencer alone with his thoughts. His terrible thoughts that rightfully pummel him into the ground for so much as suggesting that you could ever be a problem.

—

When you said you’d “Leave him be”, he didn’t think it meant you’d literally avoid him like the plague. God you’d even roped Emily into switching desks with you so you wouldn’t have to sit opposite him anymore.

How was he supposed to grovel for your forgiveness if you wouldn’t so much as spare him a glance?

How was he supposed to explain to the team that the reason the two of you suddenly weren’t talking to each other was because he’d fucked up so badly that he felt like he was going to implode?

And most importantly, how on earth was Spencer Reid supposed to make you listen to him so he could explain himself and try to reconcile with you?

He’d considered cornering you in the break room, or catching you in an elevator on your way to the parking lot, but he knew that would only make things worse.

He’d considered turning up to your apartment your favourite snacks and begging you to let him inside, but that would be weird and borderline stalkerish.

He was really running out of ideas, and the longer he went without saying something the deeper he felt he was being pulled into the pit of despair that he’d dug himself to the point where he wasn’t sure if he as going to be able to claw himself out of it.

He had to speak to you. And he had to make sure that you didn’t run away.

The opportunity practically handed itself to him during a case. He knew budget cuts would mean that the team paired up when staying at a NYC hotel, and after some under the table begging for the other team members to room with each other so you didn’t have any choice but to room with him, he took his chance.

There was a very obvious blanket of tension between the two of you as you entered the room together, your apparent vow of silence continuing as you dump your bag on one of the twin beds to claim it as your own before shutting yourself into the bathroom to ready yourself for sleep.

He could tell that you weren’t happy about the arrangement, and despite how much you were distancing yourself from him you still wore your emotions on your sleeve, and right now they were telling him that you would literally rather be anywhere else.

You skirt past him as you exit the bathroom in your pyjamas, leaving your clothes and your bag on one of the decorative chairs to climb into bed with the continued silent treatment you’re serving him.

Spencer sighs dejectedly as he watches you take a seat on the edge of the bed with your back to him. “Can we talk? Please?”

“What is there to talk about?” Your voice washes him like a cold shower, your vocal chords dipped in ice and your words a perfect combination of blunt and dismissive. He can’t see your expression as you speak, but has a pretty good idea of the furrowing of your eyebrows and the narrowing of your gaze.

“I want—” Spencer lets out another sigh, raking his fingers through his hair in internal frustration. “I need to apologise to you. What I said was horrible and I’m sorry,”

“I don’t forgive you.”

As much as the words cut through his heart like a knife, he can’t blame you.

“I understand… I just wanted you to know that I really regret what I said, and that it’s been tearing me up thinking about it,”

“Right…” You let out a short, sarcastic laugh that causes Spencer’s eyebrows to furrow. “Because it’s all about you right?”

“That’s not what I—”

“Goodnight Reid.” You punctuate your sentence by shutting of the lamp on your side of the room, officially putting an end to your side of the ‘conversation’.

Spencer wasn’t done with it quite yet.

“I’m jealous of you. That’s why I said that ‘you were an issue’. You’re not. I am the issue and I was projecting it on to you. That was unfair of me and I need you to understand that I am apologising to do right by you, not to make myself feel better.”

“You have no reason to be jealous of me Reid,” You still haven’t turned to face him, but he’d rather be talking to your back than not be talking to you at all.

“Please stop calling me that..” Spencer lets out a small breath at the end of his sentence, words tinged with a small amount of desperation. He didn’t want to be ‘Reid’ in your mind, he wanted to be Spencer. “I have a lot to be jealous of when it comes to you,” Admitting his faults outright made him feel nauseous, but he needed to break this brick wall you’d built around yourself when it came to him.

He couldn’t stand being an outsider in your life.

“I mean, you’re sweet, kind, you have an inherent knack for social situations that I could only dream of possessing,” He takes a small break in his sentence to nervously chew on the inside of his lip. “and your emotional vulnerability makes me so jealous of you that I want to just—” He exhales sharply.

“It’s very easy to be jealous of you,”

There’s a small pause after Spencer’s confession, tension lingering in the air as he watches you aimlessly fiddle with the edge of the sheets whilst you debate how to respond.

“Those are stupid things to be jealous of,”

Spencer physically deflates at your answer. “They’re not, people like you are envied because you’re so open with yourself, that’s something not a lot of people have, myself included,” Spencer takes a small step forward, cautious about scaring you off if he approached too quickly. “even if I wish I did..”

He places a deft hand on your shoulder and you jolt at the contact.

“I’m really sorry.” His voice drops to a point where it’s almost inaudible, and you swear you can hear his voice catch as he tries to maintain his composure. “I don’t want to fight with you anymore… please,”

You let out a small sigh of indignation, and Spencer knows he’s won you over. “Fine,”

“Thank you,” He gives your shoulder a small squeeze, and you return it with one of your own as you rest your hand on top of his.

“I’m still angry with you,”

“I know…”

“You’ve got a hell of a job making up for it,”

“I know,”

“Good,” You finally turn to look over your shoulder at him, and Spencer is glad to see that your expression isn’t one of loathing or frustration. “Get some sleep Spencer,”

“Okay…” He gives you a soft nod and a half-awkward smile, the sound of his name rolling off your tongue one that fills him with more contentment than it probably should. “Goodnight…” He hesitantly pulls his hand from your shoulder to walk back to his own hotel bed, walking as you tuck yourself into yours.

“Goodnight Spencer, we’ll talk about this in the morning,”

“Yeah… Thank you…”

Spencer flicks off the lamp beside him, relaxing as the room is shrouded into darkness and allowing himself to get the first proper night of rest he had in weeks now that he’s finally made his peace with you.

[seangelfish]

Hi hi! Could I get a fic of Mayoi being protective of the Reader?

Usually he doesn’t stand up for himself, but I like the idea of him standing up for someone he cares about.

Omg hello! This is my first fic request ever and I'm really excited about it! (☆▽☆) I really hope you like it! I love Mayoi's character and I honestly think he'd be a lovely partner. He would definitely protect his loved ones even if he isn't able to protect himself! Sorry this took so long, I think I was having writer's block D:

Mayoi Ayase x Reader

Genre/s: Fluff, confident reader x timid Mayoi couple dynamic!

Word count: 876

Plot/summary: You're a producer at Star Pro who was invited to the New York Idol Film Festival with the idols you produce. Mayoi, your lover, was invited too. Despite you being so confident, you're not as assertive as your boyfriend...

Being a producer meant accompanying idols to places that you wouldn't be able to visit on your own. This time, a handful of idols that you helped produce were going to New York for the New York Idol Film Festival. Mayoi, who was a part of La Mort, was invited on the trip too. You were incredibly proud of him that he and his group were nominated.

"It just... doesn't feel like I deserve it...!" Mayoi wailed.

"But you preformed so well, Mayoi! Your performance in Noir Neige was beautiful!" you praised, holding his hands in yours reassuringly. "You definitely deserve to go to the awards ceremony!"

Mayoi looked at you nervously. There you stood in front of him, smiling brightly as the sun. Looking at you calmed him down a bit. He was happy to have you here with him, supporting him all the way through.

"By the way, you look handsome in a suit," you complimented.

His face turned red almost immediately. "T-Thank you, m-my love...! You look l-lovely in that dress too...!"

After the film showcase at the IFF, an after-party was held, so you decided to take this opportunity to talk to the other visitors there. You were a producer after all, so you thought that by socialising in this event, it would reward you with more connections for the idols that you produced. However, the main reason for you doing this was for Mayoi, you wanted him to succeed and be the best he can be.

"You'll be fine, right?" you asked him worriedly, knowing how Mayoi is with crowded areas. "I'll be back once I get about— hmm… ten business cards.”

Mayoi chuckled at your optimism, but nodded, "Yes, I think I'll be okay. Aira and the others are here, so I'll stick to them."

"Great," you said. "I'll be back quick!"

You slipped away from Mayoi’s grasp and scanned the area, looking for your first potential business partner. Mayoi couldn’t help but grin at how bold and confident you were being. He wished he was more like you as you were someone he looks up to let alone love with all his heart.

Do your best, (Y/N), he cheered on in his thoughts.

He resumed to socialising with his fellow idols, and it really did seem like he was having fun. You giggled to yourself as you glanced back at Mayoi.

After a few encounters with the people there – and a LOT of conversing – you were able to collect ten business cards.

"And that is a job well done!" you sang to yourself happily. "I've got to tell Mayoi!"

But before you could go back to socialising with your idols, a man approached you from behind.

"Hi there, darling," he began. "You're absolutely gorgeous. Are you one of the new idols from Japan's Ensemble Square?"

Keeping your friendly posture as you always do, you replied back cheerfully, "Oh no! I'm not an idol at all. I'm actually a producer there. I specifically work at Star Pro which is one of the agencies–"

He cut you off. "I see, I thought you were an idol. You're really pretty to just be a mere producer," he stated in which you could sense the slight disdain in his tongue. "Nevermind that though. Would you like to accompany me outside? The night sky looks beautiful tonight... just like you~"

His arm was already wrapped around your shoulders. Now this made you uncomfortable, but you tried to be nice about it.

"Oh, sorry, I actually can't," you chuckled nervously.

"And why's that?" he asked you, giving your shoulder a tight squeeze.

But a second later, that hand of his was now grabbed by Mayoi.

"Because she's with me."

You looked at your boyfriend wide-eyed. His eyebrows were furrowed as he gave the man the deadliest look you've ever seen. It wasn't like him to act like this so it surprised you a little. Mayoi tightened his grip around the man's wrist when he tried to squirm out of his grasp.

"Please don't touch (Y/N) ever again," said Mayoi, smiling brightly that even his eyes showed it.

Mayoi had let go before the man could make a scene. Then he took your hand and lead you back to the group.

"Mayoi...!" you started. "Thank you so much. You don't know how happy I was to see you come for me! You were so cool!"

Mayoi sighed as if the confrontation took all his energy from him. Both his hands were resting on your shoulders as he looked at you anxiously.

"(Y/N), you worry me too much," he said. "This isn't the first time you've been hit on since we came here to America...! This is probably the third time I had to come to your aid. It's scary...!"

"It's actually the fourth time," Kohaku butted in as he chewed on the shortcake he was eating.

You gave your boyfriend a sheepish grin. "I'm sorry, I should've been more assertive," you mumbled.

"No, it's not your fault..." he wrapped his arms around you and you automatically hugged him back. "I need to keep a closer eye on you..."

"I wouldn't mind that," you said happily.

Then you let him go as you continued, "Oh yes, look! I was able to get ten business cards! Are you proud of me~?"

Mayoi smiled as he cupped your cheek gently.

"I always am."

Intro page | Ensemble Stars masterlist | Rules

[tallulah477]

LOL ty! im glad you think i could write JFJFFNND but nah i use a lot of run on sentences lmfao but i also have too many ideas that are in my head or on my notes app

but honestly the avatar universe is just so good on its own like i think u can make 28747373 fics out of the canon story like and still make more yk but i do love thinking of neteyam and loak in different aus like the royalty one 🤭 soon to be king neteyam whose bethrothed to another but loves his maid he known since childhood and plans to run away with her to a small cottage with a garden to sustain themselves

and prince loak doesnt reallt care for neteyams future wife (only cares abt training and finds her bratty) but as time passes when she goes to visit them he falls for her and her bitchy attitude (i imagine their relationship is all bark no bite)

and OMLLL loak who goes to visit her families nation/kingdom and as he's getting a tour of the place he can hear rumours from the knights or princes at the event later that night that theyve had sex with her and she was crazy shit like that

and then the first time they have sex he finds out shes a virgin and he would be just so SOFT with her and when she wants to ride him he says she just doesn't have too but shes like No I will then cue her getting the wind knocked out of her as she slowly inches further down on him and then he just takes over and fucks her from that position - he pulls her down to where theyre chest to chest and hes trying really hard to not go so fast bc its her first time but hes going crazy he gotta grip the sheets and lots of praise from loak saying shes being such a good girl for him and calling her his princess

im realizing i made their dynamics so 180 from eachother LMDAOKFJFNF

also i think yk whose who sending the messages based on the typing style but ill just do that emoji anon thing NFND

— 🤍

I swear it's like you read my mind because I was just going to make a post today asking if you wanted to be my first emoji anon lmao

Welcome 🤍 Anon!!!

I completely agree that on its own the Avatar universe is so huge and one of the most ideal worlds to write in. It's so unique and real - like firmly settled in what it is and how thought out/meticulously it was crafted. But there's also so much room for fans to take bits of it and put their own spin on it while still staying true to the overall world as a whole. Like the queue play thing: we know how they work and what they do for the most part, but we're able to be like "hmmm, I think it would feel AMAZING if we put it here (wink, wink)" and play with it and attach it to body parts that James Cameron would probably be horrified if he knew what we were trying to do to the sacred alien appendage 😂

Catch up on the story:

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Extra: One | Two

CW:// None

I can just imagine Lo'ak's reaction after Neteyam and his girl run away together and Lo'ak becomes the future king-to-be. He'd be so upset because his whole life he's been compared to his older brother and always in his shadow and Neteyam always got everything, but at least Lo'ak got to focus on training and eventually he would be able to settle down with someone that he gets to choose. But noooo, Neteyam gets everything he wants, including the girl he wants, and just left Lo'ak there to take over every responsibility that he just up and dropped.

Now Lo'ak has to take be betrothed to the girl Neteyam was supposed to be with and she's got an attitude problem even more than before Neteyam left. But can you blame her? Poor girl grew up in a society where men ruled everything and woman were looked at as things to be used or bargaining pieces. She knows what's said about her - the rumors that other people make up about her to put her down. God forbid we ever have a strong, independent woman with any sense of self confidence. And she thought she was getting lucky with Neteyam, maybe she finally found someone who would respect her and treat her well. But he never gives her a chance, prefers the company of a maid, and then runs away with her.

Her confidence would be absolutely shattered after that and then here comes her replacement prince, the king of attitude himself, also scorned by his older brother's actions. They both have walls up, both have issues they have to deal with - but when those walls finally come down? Hoooo boy. Magic ✨

[pianostarinwonderland]

Things About the Latest Event I Really Like

Spoilers for Part 2 of the Event!!!

Part 1

I notice that Rollo isn’t showing disgust just to the fae. There were a few moments where he put up his handkerchief when the previous speakers were not anyone from Diasomnia. The one scene I recall was when the others were talking about the festival in the school’s plaza, specifically the outfits. Ruggie mentions how the festival was the one time those in poverty could wear such fancy clothes, and Rollo puts up the handkerchief over that statement. See that he doesn’t just have racism against fae but that he also has his prejudices against the poor, a prejudice Frollo has also shown.

It’s pretty cute how Trein gets along with Rollo, considering the characters they’re inspired from are both around similar ages. It’s like Trein sensed a kindred spirit in him.

Malleus mistaking the gargoyle for a grotesque until Azul, Silver, and Sebek pointed out the nest in its mouth was so adorable 🥺 I also love how it’s a nod to one of the opening scenes in the movie, where the gargoyle spat out an entire nest in its mouth.

Azul noticing the gargoyle moving!! You know, that gargoyle got a sprite, that bitch better move 😩 My delusional mind also had a thought that Azul being the one to hear the gargoyle move when the others didn’t made me think, “Damn, does this show he has more sensitive hearing thanks to his past experience with music 😳??”

Speaking of the gargoyles, the indication that they’re gonna move implies that they may be the very same gargoyles from the movie itself. So in that case, does it mean that they know what truly happened with Quasimodo and Judge Frollo? How do they feel about knowing that Frollo is the one praised as the Righteous Judge?

Floyd and Jade being very upset that Azul was picked to go with him being very smug about it was so funny and wholesome 😂 I love their friendship so much.

On Jade and Floyd not being able to go, I’m honestly really really happy to get this opportunity to see Azul being his own person that’s outside of being with the twins 🥺 Like, up till now, Azul has always been with the twins. You see this in events: All of Octavinelle got Beans Day cards, Camp Azul and Camp Jade were together, Halloween Azul and Halloween Jade were in one event. Fan content especially loves depicting Azul with the twins, occasionally to the point that it feels like people think Azul is nothing without them. 😭 Which,, is not the case. He’s such a complex character with his own rich lore It’s one of the reasons why I also really love chapter 6—you get to see Azul as how he is without having the twins by his side. But even then, it was in a stressful situation. Here, we just see Azul in a more lax scene. Like, oh my God, I'll ramble about it in the part 2 section of this post. But I'm just so happy to see Azul without the twins and everything.

Misc.

Putting this between part 1 and 2 because this is the entire reason why I even made this post.

One of Azul's idle lines stated that he finds Rollo to be naive. It's a pretty interesting detail because I think this is one of the few times that we really get to see Azul reading people. Take note: Most of people's first impressions of Rollo was that he was very polite and hospitable, which was observations on the way he welcomes them. However, Azul's first impression is how Rollo is naive.

Here's what makes me so attached to this bit. The way Azul judges people, he tends to use generalizations and their patterns to read their character. Most of the time, he turns out to be correct or partially so. And with Rollo, it's very likely that Azul's judgment of him is not wrong. While we still don't know Rollo well yet, we can deduce how his personality might go based on the characters of Frollo and Quasimodo. Frollo isn't naive at all—he's killed and burnt Paris down with full intent. He's more of blinded to his own pride, that he thinks that he's the one who's above everyone. Quasimodo, on the other hand, is naive—his only teacher has been Frollo, who would teach him that the world outside is cruel. And the gargoyles? Well, they have their own wisdom, but it doesn't enrich Quasimodo's experience very much.

I'm not saying that Azul's judgment of him may be entirely correct. Again, he does generalize people, so he may not obtain the full picture. But calling Rollo naive isn't wrong either. It's likely that Rollo thinks of himself as correct, but he doesn't have an enriched perspective since he doesn't keep an open mind. If that makes sense?

Part 2 (under the cut)

Hope you're ready, this part is very delicious for me.

First off, my heart is so warm over the scene in Malleus' part where Jamil teased Trein. They visited this underwater waterway (aka the Court of Miracles in the movie), and Jamil teases him that he's probably taken his wife out on a date to the area. Obviously, this gets Trein flustered, but the other students also get really curious. Like . ok, with all the magical adventures that we end up in and all the trauma that is spilled, sometimes I forget that the cast is in high school. But that moment just . reminded me that our boys are high school boys 😭 everyone's such a teenager. It's honestly so so cute, like we really don't get to see them being this casual or such teases, but like look at them 😭 Jamil,, Jamil of all people teasing his own prof about his love life, it is so cute.

The way Jamil and Riddle even tease Sebek when he accidentally drank black coffee 😭 it is so cute how they jumped in on bringing up embarrassing moments about him in front of Malleus. He's like, "DON"T DO THIS IN FRONT OF WAKASAMA" but Malleus himself is so amused and wanted to hear more. It's honestly so cute.

Riddle and Jamil as a duo is so good. Like, you see hints of their friendship in some stories, but you really get to see them look so chill and relaxed and huge ass teases??? Which is so interesting because they are two of the most serious guys in the cast, but look at them throwing teasing remarks at Trein and Sebek 😭 your honor, they are maturing and loosening up

I just watched the movie yesterday, so I caught nearly all the references right away. Rollo recommended the croissant to Azul's group (team A)—one of the gargoyles held up a croissant in the song A Guy Like You, and one lyric goes: "And since you've shaped like a croissant is". In the same part, Esmeralda's necklace was one of the souvenirs that Azul bought for Jade and Floyd. Even the alphabet blocks that Epel and Deuce found is a reference! When Epel and Deuce said A is for "apple" and B is for "baby", it's a reference to Quasimodo reviewing his alphabet with Frollo, except it went "A is for abomination, B is for blasphemy". In Idia's part, they see the wooden figurines of Quasimodo and Esmeralda and the little mobile made of colorful glass that hangs in Quasimodo's room. Malleus' part has them walking around the waterway where the gypsies lived aka the Court of Miracles. There was a store that Jamil and Grim walk in, and you'd find the wood shavings that one of the gargoyles used in A Guy Like You. There was even a parlor that is a reference to A Guy Like You.

Honestly, the fact they referenced A Guy Like You a whole lot, when that song also has a WHOLE PIANO THERE 🧍 Disney don't do this. Don't give me hope.

And about the wooden figurines part, Idia and Ruggie are so funny wwww like, Ruggie's like "ehhhh it's just a piece of wood" but Idia's like you SHUT UP those are WORTH A TON go Idia we love to see you defending figurines !!!!!

Idia in general getting comfortable in the group is so cute though 😭 and even cuter is Silver commenting on how glad he is to see Idia happy like ?????? damn bitch why are you so PURE

Honestly, Azul's part as a whole just 🤡🤡🤡 I said it earlier. I super appreciate this event for letting Azul be his own person that's not being with the twins. And this part really shows why I super appreciate it.

Azul was such a senpai to Deuce and Epel 🥺 like, he was teaching them about the culture of the city, he was taking on the role of being tour guide to them. He was looking after two first years, and that was so so so endearing to see, in spite of any ulterior motives 🥺

It was so funny to see them letting their guard down around Azul too! Like, a lot of the cast knows Azul's sketchiness, so it's easy to think "oh Azul's really obvious". But you see through Deuce and Epel that his kind front is actually really good. When Azul says he's gonna buy souvenirs for the students back in school, they were like "WOW FOR FREE????" Epel ends up going "you know Vil told me to watch out for Azul, but he's actually really nice!" Meanwhile, Azul's muttering to himself how he's gonna deduct the price of the souvenirs from their salaries wheeze

Also!! Azul buying pencils for Epel and Deuce! The way that both of them were so warmed by it, and Azul's just muttering "damn I'm so sorry for Riddle and Vil if I won over these two with just a pencil"

ugh I'm so full from this event, and there's going to be MORE??? We're gonna finally see some shit go down next week, and then we're gonna have so much more lore to come about Rollo. 😩

Also, someone suggested piano Azul groovy and I WILL FUCKJNG CRY IF IT HAPPESN 🧍

[pendragon-writes]

TASM!Peter Parker Dating Headcanons

Okay depending on if you're a vigilante or not will depend on what dating is like, if you're just a local civilian then I hope you're prepared and know how to stitch wounds cause now you do lol, even if you aren't the best at it it still helps to know that you tried.

If you happen to be a vigilante though (Superpowers or not) You will both, be patching each other up after a long day depending on how wild things got in the city of New York. 

But we can before we go into more detail on that let's start with how you two met.

Now it honestly depends on how it went, you probably met him in your civilian self when he was being spider-man and noticed he was down in the dumps, so you climbed up the fire escape to the building he was sitting at and joined him.  

He noticed you walk up to him, and recognized you as one of his classmates, he was confused at first as to why you were walking up to him but when you tossed him the bag of sweets his mood changed and he smiled under the mask.

That's how your new friendship and soon-to-be relationship with the Spider bloomed.

If you're a vigilante like him then he met you in you're vigilante ego.

Shocking I know.

Well, he met you when he was out skating and was watching you beat up some thugs.

Which, definitely had an effect on him...

What he didn't know was that one of the thugs was behind him as he was too awestruck, and just before the thug could do anything a metal rod was yeeted across and hit him.

Okay okay enough with me going on about that you all came for the dating stuff and as sadistic as I am at times I won't deprive you all.

Peter is definitely the type to take really good photos, well I mean that's kind of an obvious statement but still.

No matter what kind of angle (No matter how ridiculous he looks taking the shot) the photo almost always turns out great.

He is also the type to teach you how to ride a skateboard unless you already know how. In which case he'll take you out to go skateboarding together.

You two have definitely gone webbing together at least once, depending on your reaction to it would determine if he would do it with you again.

If you're both into tech stuff you two would be geeking out at cons and science events together.

If you're not into that kind of stuff he'll still explain it but in terms you know so you can get a better grasp at it.

If you have anything you like to geek out over that he doesn't know about he will spend an entire night learning about it just so the two of you have something to talk about.

If you're in sport (School team or not) he will do his best to watch all games.

If you're in a band, chorus, or anything music-related you bet he will go to that too, recitals and all.

But if you're not in anything like that then he'll support you in whatever is your hobby.

For love language, he definitely gives me a Gift giver and words of affirmation type of guy. He might not be rich but he is definitely talented with his hands (Not in a dirty way you horn dogs). He'll make you gadgets to help you with everyday life and if you have any medical needs or if you're special needs.

For example, if you have to fidget on stuff but want it to not stick out to the public he'd make you a keychain that looks normal but is actually a very nice fidget chain.

This guy has been through a lot and not being able to talk to most people about his alter ego is stressful so just praising him and being there for him is a lot.

He's the type of guy to bring an extra pair of headphones or glasses in case you have sensory problems or get overwhelmed in the environment (As someone who has this I would literally be in love lol).

(Now I don't have DID but this part is for those who do) If you have DID he would do as much as he can to learn about your Alters and get to know each of them.

He also gives me cuddly energy, I don't know why maybe it's in the eyes but yeah.

If you're not a cuddler he would completely get it and respect it whole heartedly.

Movie nights! Just the two of you watching movies(or shows) together.

He's not too big on horror movies but if that's your jam then he would bare through it, just don't be surprised if he jumps in the jumpscares or holds onto you for dear life.

Aunt May adores you wholeheartedly, she keeps bugging Peter to bring you over and when she hears him on the phone with you she always tells him to tell you she says hi.

If you have any pets prepare for him to spoil them rotten, the same goes if you have younger siblings.

You've definitely caught him sleeping with your pet on top of him at least once.

(This I'm basing off fanart I saw someone do)

While he can't straight up talk to spiders he can sort of understand them and they can understand him as well so don't try to be too alarmed if you see him talking to one.

Pet names he would use defer

If you prefer Masc Terms he would use these

Public: Love, Babe, Handsome

Private: My love, Hun, Darling, Good-looking, Romeo.

If you prefer GN Terms he would use these

Public: Love, Babe, Gorgeous

Private: My one, My love, Hun, Good-looking, My person.

Dating wise that's all I have I hope you like it @fadedver and the rest of ya!

[paperstorm]

I was just looking at your tags on the fandom aspects post and I hope you don't mind my coming into your space and strongly disagreeing with part of them. I think its normal and healthy in any fandom to be negative about events in canon and have a chance to vent about it, even if other people loved the same thing. No piece of media is perfectly designed and executed and people should be able to call out what they find badly done as much as people who find the same thing amazing should be able to sing its praises (obviously use appropriate tags and don't be hateful in someone's inbox who sees things differently). Negativity over canon can foster its own sense of community, and I've actually stayed in more than one fandom by finding a group that feels similarly and thinking of all the ways it could be better and even seen some incredible fics generated when that part of canon was reimagined. Also toxic positivity in fandom is just as harmful as constant negativity. Treating canon as some sacred text that if you don't support it you should leave or shut up doesn't build up a community, it isolates people who might find joy other parts of that community and can lead to just as many hurt feelings.

I don’t think we disagree at all honestly I just think you either misunderstood what I said or I said it in a way that was confusing. I have also been in fandoms where communally shitting on truly terrible choices made by the writers and show runners is an act of community itself (look at my icon haha I came from the mcu and stucky, where hating Steve’s ending is far more common than liking it). Disagreeing is not bad. I have unpopular opinions too and I have consistently in this fandom given people space to feel their feelings. What I said was that people constantly “shitting on” things that other people are excited about extinguishes the community aspect of fandom. Someone going on gif sets that someone worked hard on and ranting about how terrible the scene was and how stupid anyone who likes it is. Insulting people who liked something you disliked. Someone who spends their time making long posts mocking the type of of fanfiction someone else is into. Being generally cruel under the guise of “I’m just being honest/just expressing my opinion”. That’s the stuff that burns down our collective house, because it makes fandom a place of combat rather than community. That doesn’t mean people aren’t allowed to do whatever shit they want. I’m not anybody’s mom. But I value the effort it takes to foster community in fandom, even if sometimes that means knowing when to keep my opinions to myself because they would hurt someone else. That isn’t the same at all as demanding that everyone be toxically positive about canon.

[iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid]

I recently reread you REVENGERS show story and I just wanted to praise you about how incredibly well written and entertaining it is.

The asgardian funeral scene with "Æ og du" playing? GOLD. Literally made me tear up while reading it for like 7th time.

Loki using his magic to heal Thor's eye and just them TALKING?? On GOD that shit was beautiful! I LIVE for those two and their chaotic but loving sibling dynamic.

Eris being a buddy of Groot and Rocket? Fantastic! Gives her character so much rich history and makes her overall feel more connected and well-grounded in that universe. It's the little details man

And now to a personal highlight of the story to me:

The interactions between Loki and Bruce/Hulk.

Just the way Loki is weary of the Hulk, as is Banner of Loki, yet they still are low-key fascinated by each other. Like when Loki did a double take when Hulk told him he knows he's hiding something. Or when Banner was trying to make peace with Loki in the hallway and offered to be friends. They even somewhat care about each other's wellbeing to the point where Loki tries not to hurt Hulk when he... hulked-out and even APOLOGIZES to him for using the tesseract on him, or Bruce's first fear after waking up is that he may have killed Loki. They have such an interesting dynamic. Are they reluctant teammates? Are they starting to honestly care about each other? Who the hell knows! All I know is I'm rooting for Loki to find a friend that actually likes him for who he is. And if that friend happens to be Banner/Hulk, then that gets extra pluspoints from me. Can you imagine Tony's reaction to that tho?

AHHHH so okay first of all, thank you for this message, it made my morning. and it's beautifully timed because coincidentally, i ALSO just reread the entire revengers series! i've been trying to wrangle the remaining plot points into some kind of order where everything makes sense and flows in a satisfying way (like, i know almost everything that i want to happen, just not how and when to make it happen) but i think i'm finally making some headway!

re: the thor and loki talk, the very first moment of quiet in the plot came along and i was like AH YES finally time to address the fact that thor's best friends are all dead! but i liked making it not about heartache and grief so much as it was about remembrance, you know? i feel like asgardians have an interesting relationship with grief since, like, valhalla is supposedly a real actual place. it's just neat. and also obviously i needed an excuse for thor and loki to have a..... sort of genuine heart-to-heart. emotionally stunted brothers style, anyway

and maaan oh man i'm SO glad you like bruce and loki's interactions! because they've become some of my favorite scenes to write! loki was terrified of the hulk in ragnarok only to be like "hello bruce 😌" when he sees him next, which was fucking hilarious to me and absolutely required that i expand on these two. and for bruce it's like... you know when the brother of one of your closest friends is also the guy who was responsible for a literal mass casualty event in new york? the same guy that you then pounded into a tile floor like a pit bull with a stuffed animal? but he's, like, a god, so he survived and then he did some time in prison and now he's sort of on your guys' side and also living on a spaceship with you? yeah? you know that feeling? we've all been there, right?

here's the real question: was bruce's worry about whether he killed loki as the hulk about not wanting to kill anyone as the hulk, or was it because he's starting to genuinely care about loki's wellbeing? who knows! bruce certainly doesn't! regardless, they WILL be close friends by the end of spending nearly two years on a spaceship together. you really can't not, and they have so much in common! do you think loki might be able to relate to being something destructive and monstrous and terrifying? and hating that part of yourself and wanting to get rid of it? ugh god i have one line in particular that i've been sitting on and DYING to use between the two of them (fun fact: this line is the one that prompted a friend over DMs to say "sam i am chasing you with a knife" so. do with that what you will) and i swear it's coming.... eventually 👀

oh and tony WILL be completely and utterly gobsmacked by it lmao, they finally land on earth after two years and they're in the middle of introducing the Loki Problem™ to american (or norwegian?) authorities, and tony's there because it's avengers related so of course he's there, and loki says some offhand thing under his breath that makes bruce just fucking lose it, like, choking trying not to laugh in the middle of this very important diplomatic meeting and tony's like. oh sure, the mass murderer is funny now. he tells jokes. cool. cool cool cool hey, just wondering, did i enter an alternate reality just now? am i finally losing it? bruce? had any weird interactions with a mind stone lately? buddy? the fuck?

anyway. yeah. i'm itching to write more of this, and trust me, i have been :)

[copiousloverofcopia]

💋🎄Another holiday letter done...

This time one from beloved Primo to his Prime Mover Lillith ❤️‍🔥

Thank you so much @primoslapdog for letting me write this for your OC. 🥰

(full text below the cut)

La mia dolce colomba,

I apologize that I must communicate with you this way. That being said, I hope this letter finds you well and that the ghoul I sent it with did not dawdle. I was fortunate enough to send one of Secondo's, they tend to be a bit more responsible than the fratellinos'.

In any event, I must inform you that I have been summoned to a few meetings this afternoon that are, regrettably, unavoidable. I hope you are not too cross with me for missing lunch.

I am looking forward to celebrating with you this evening however. What are we celebrating you might ask? Well gattina, tonight we celebrate you. You deserve it, and honestly, it is long overdue. You've been working so hard all year, I feel it is time we take a moment for you to divulge.

You know little one, I praise Lucifer every day for blessing this old man with such a beautiful young woman in my life. A young woman who I am so very proud of. I have enjoyed watching you blossom right before my eyes, your emergence as part of the Clergy has truly been a sight to behold.

I have been unable to stop thinking about you since I did the morning pruning. The softness of the petals reminds of that delicate spot along your inner thigh. Oh dolce lucifero, how I love kissing you there. Feeling your legs quiver as I run the back of these calloused hands over them. Even now the memory of it calls to me.

I could not be more upset that I must wait to have you. You are the most precious thing in the world, my beautiful Prime Mover. Never forget that Lillith, never.

If I am able to sneak away, maybe later you will allow me to embrace you in our garden—otherwise until tonight.

-Papa Emeritus I

[thebonerpit]

Idk if anyone follows my posts enough to even notice this but you may have seen me talking about a lot of new things I've watched so far this year, both tv and film. I kind of made a mini resolution to do this because I found, especially at the end of 2023, that I was stuck in a rut of either rewatching old things or mindlessly flipping through YouTube videos I had little to no interest in. There's so much media out there I'm interested in and now I feel almost reinvigorated to go through it and I've been having a blast.

Most of the time I'll probably just reblog a gifset or two with thoughts in the tags but I finally watched the Interview with the Vampire tv show and I have FEELINGS (mostly good)! Spoilers for season one and I do talk about book things that eventually happen so beware in case you don't know and want to continue the show completely blind...

So I kinda put off watching this at first because the Vampire Chronicles books are some of my favourites, and while it did have its own issues, the 1994 film holds a special place in my heart. I was like... do we really need anything else? But I'm glad I gave it a chance because the show was able to go so much further in so many aspects and also now we have a chance to actually see even more of the book events take place!

I'm gonna say up front that almost every character felt very different from how they are in the book except for Lestat. Lestat was actual perfection and I cannot BELIEVE someone did a (dare I say) even better job than Tom Cruise who gave the performance of his life in the film. Sam Reid's Lestat is unhinged and dramatic and terrifying and sad and cringe and yet also loveable and it was a masterpiece of acting. For the majority of the other characters I really didn't mind the differences and in some instances I thought they were actually improved. Daniel Molloy, for example, who is basically Anthony Bourdain? Perfection. Louis who is yes kind of pathetic and dramatic like the book, but also is volatile and complicated which Lestat is drawn to right from the beginning instead of only after having his little breakdown caused by his brother's death? Excellent. Armand who is older and looks nothing like the Armand described in the books but I can see without any problem how Marius fell madly deeply insanely in love with him because he's GORGEOUS and has this unsettling serenity about him? Give. Me. MORE.

The only issue I really had was with Claudia. I see people praising her all over the place so I'm sure this is an unpopular opinion but I hated that they aged her up so much. The most compelling thing about Claudia as a character is that she is an adult woman trapped in the body of a literal CHILD. A pre-pubescent child. Not a teenager. It's absolutely horrifying and it should be horrifying. Now, I will say, I saw an article where they talked about part of the reason behind this choice being that they needed the actor to work longer hours and it was impossible for a kid to do that, plus the very intense material, and I fully FULLY support any protections for child actors because the industry is insane. But it does make me sad and I wish there was some way they could have worked around it. I get what they tried to do with teenage Claudia but it just fell flat for me. And also the actress really looks her age (I think she's 20?) so like the few times where people were making fun of her for "playing dress up" or whatever I'm like... she fully looks like an older teen at LEAST what are you talking about lol. Also I thought her accent was kind of bad.

But honestly, that was really the only problem I had with the whole series. I absolutely loved how they went full-on explicit with the Lestat/Louis romance and the chemistry between the two of them was... WOOF. I was actually really interested in the modern portions too, mostly because Anthony Bour-- I mean Daniel Molloy was so entertaining lol. I loved how he pushed and pushed at Louis and their whole back and forth was brilliant. Although putting on my archivist's hat for a second to be outraged at Daniel consenting to wearing the cotton gloves to handle the diaries but then eating a fucking sandwich right beside the book???? Absolutely not lol. It was so much fun to see the Armand reveal (which I was spoiled for somehow but that's ok) especially knowing that Armand eventually turns Daniel and boy oh boy I hope they go long enough to get to that. I loved the continued references to Lestat's love of music which makes me hope they're planting seeds to make rock star Lestat a little more believable lol (god can you even imagine?? And we don't talk about the Queen of the Damned movie ok).

As for S2, I'm so excited for Paris and the Théâtre des Vampires and HELLO Ben Daniels as Santiago!!! Omg so hype for that. And it's going to be so interesting to see the Armand/Louis relationship as well because I mean it's always going to be Lestat/Louis and Armand/Marius for me so Louis being like "he's the love of my life"... girl. (And speaking of Armand/Marius please GOD give us some flashbacks because they are my Vampire Chronicles OTP and I need to see that whole story including my girl Bianca thank youuuuu).

Yeah so overall I'm quite positive about the whole thing and sincerely hope that they get many more seasons because there's so many interesting stories in those books and we've only ever gotten a TINY portion on screen.

[jessybarnes]

Lubirea Vieții Mele

Pairing: Chris Evans x Sebastian Stan 

Rating: 18+ Only!! Minors DNI!!

Tags: Angst, smut, fluff, panic attacks, drinking, crying, emotions, not feeling good enough, implied self-harm, puking, language, drunk dialing, drunk confessions, cuddling, yelling, making out, daddy kink, thigh riding, praise kink, hair pulling, biting, oral sex, deep throating, cum swallowing, anal fingering, anal sex, unprotected anal sex, cumming hands-free, and I think that's it.

Word Count: 5,843

Beta: T. Thompson 

Title Card: Yours Truly 

A/N: Lubirea Vieții Mele is Romanian and it translates to Love of my Life.

Movie premieres are nothing new to Sebastian. He's attended so many that he can pretty much map out exactly how the night will go.

First, he'll dress up in a fancy suit, primp his hair, cologne, you know, the whole nine yards. Next comes the red carpet. That's the fun part. To someone who's never been to a red carpet event, well, it can be a bit overwhelming. Hundreds of camera flashes, people yelling your name, crowds, and not to mention the interviews where they ask the same five questions over and over. After all of that is over, then he'll finally get to sit down, relax next to his co-stars, and watch what they've worked so hard to create. 

Those eyes. 

That's where he is, now. Sitting in a dark theater sharing a large bowl of popcorn with Chris Evans.

Sebastian has sat next to him plenty of times. Interviews, on set, car rides, you name it he's done it. This was different though. This is the premiere of Avengers Endgame.

They've worked for ten years to get to this moment and now that it's finally here, he's honestly miserable. Not because he isn't proud of what they've accomplished, but because he won't get to see those bright blue eyes every morning anymore. 

They always make his heart seize in his chest when they looked into his own.

He's imagined them in so many ways, so many carnal ways, that he's thankful no one can read his thoughts.

He shouldn't be thinking about Chris on his knees looking up at him through those perfectly long lashes as he takes his cock down his throat. He shouldn't picture himself laying on his back, knees pushed to his chest as Chris looks down at him with lust-blown pupils while he fucks him slow and deep. 

He's not even paying attention to the movie. How can he when the most beautiful person in the world is sitting right next to him?

Sebastian studies Chris, takes his time to memorize everything about him. The way the beautiful features of his face light up from the brightness of the movie screen, how his long eyelashes barely brush his cheeks every time he blinks, and the way his tongue flicks over his lips that glisten from the buttery popcorn.

Sebastian’s instantly thankful he's holding the bucket in his lap because the longer he looks at Chris the tighter his suit pants get. 

His resolve is slowly dwindling with every thought. It's too much, he's too much and also not enough.

He can kiss him right now if he wants to. Reach over, turn Chris’s face with his fingers, and close the short distance easily. It's dark enough and no one is seated behind them so they'll be unseen.

Except Chris isn't interested in him. Not like that anyway and that's when the thought of never being able to be with him intimately finally sinks in. 

Sebastian takes in a sharp,  shaky breath and closes his eyes to keep his tears at bay. He brings one of his hands to his lips, biting down on one of his knuckles to stifle the sound of a soft sob that escapes his mouth.

A hand on his knee makes him nearly jump out of his skin. Chris is staring at him now, concern in his eyes and the intensity of his gaze is his undoing. Sebastian has to leave. He has to get out of here or he's going to break down.

"Seb? Hey, man what's wrong?"

He grits his teeth and shakes his head, a string of tears slide down onto the lapel of his jacket.

"I-I-I gotta go…I’m sorry I-I can't…" 

He shoves the popcorn bucket into Chris’s lap and practically runs to the exit. He can barely see through his teary vision, but eventually, he makes it to the back alley of the building, surprisingly without being stopped by anyone.

His whole body shakes as he slides down the concrete wall. Every emotion, every feeling, every moment he's ever spent with Chris is hitting him all at once and it's suffocating. Sebastian finally lets the dam break, gasping for breath and loudly sobbing into his shaking hands. 

The sound of Chris’s voice calling his name only makes him cry louder because, of course, he came after him. The sound of his dress shoes on the asphalt gets closer and soon that smooth, deep voice speaks his name so softly it physically hurts.

"Sebastian?…", one of his large hands begins to rub his bicep in consolation. "Shh, hey… listen to me, okay? You're gonna hyperventilate if you keep breathin' like that."

Chris gently grabs one of Sebastian’s hands and places it over his heart, the action pulls another loud sob from his throat.

"Breathe with me ...c'mon …in, hold for two, and out. That's it. In, hold for two, and out. Match my breathing, Seb. Again...good job. You're doin' so good." 

He isn't sure how long they sit there, but eventually, Sebastian is able to calm down enough to open his eyes.

Chris still has his hand pressed to his chest, the steady beat of his heart keeping him grounded.

"You're okay. Shh...I've got you."

Sebastian looks up at him and shakes his head.

"You don't though…Not when I- you won't…fuck..."

Chris gives him a confused look. "Sebastian, you have to know by now that I'll always be here for you. I'll help you with anyt-" 

Sebastian doesn't let him finish, and instead pushes himself up to stand on wobbly legs.

"You can't h-help me with this, Chris." His voice is just above a whisper. "I wish, goddammit, I fuckin' wish you could, but you can't."

Chris takes a step towards him, and he takes a step back. "Don't…"

A look of hurt flashes in his eyes, and it kills Sebastian to see it. He never wants to be the cause of hurting him, but it's either this or a ruined friendship. He can't lose him so he goes with the lesser of the two evils.

"Sebastian, please. Talk to me."

"I can't, Chris." His voice is laced with sorrow and pain. "I can't because I'll ruin everything." 

He doesn't give Chris a chance to respond. If he looks at him for one more second the walls around his heart will crumble like a house of cards.

Sebastian hates leaving him like this, standing here with a helpless look on his face, but he has to go home. He needs alcohol, lots of alcohol, to numb him from this heartbreak.

Chris must have texted and called him a hundred times, but his efforts go unanswered. The attempts finally stop around eleven at night.

Sebastian, however, is working on his third bottle of wine. He wishes he had something stronger, but going to the liquor store drunk sounds like a terrible idea. 

About halfway through his fourth glass, the screen on his phone lights up. He types in his passcode and finally reads all the messages from Chris.

Sober him would have just deleted them, but that ship sailed about half a bottle ago. He scans the last few texts and swallows the lump in his throat. 

Sebastian chugs the rest of his glass and licks his lips. He really shouldn't do this. It's nearly midnight, he's shit-faced drunk, and emotional. All of which were the same reasons why he hits the call button.

It rings three times before a sleepy Chris answers, his gruff voice sending a jolt of arousal straight to his cock.

"M'hello?"

Sebastian takes another swig from the wine bottle.

"Chris? 'S um…'S me, Sebastian."

There's shuffling and the sound of Dodger shaking his head back and forth before he responds.

"It's good to finally hear from you, man. You okay?" 

Sebastian giggles, his arm accidentally knocking the bottle over. "Aw, fuck. W'gon drink that. Chris! D'you have wine? Should brin m'some"

Chris sighs. "Seb, I think you've had enough to drink. You should go lay down."

"No! Nuh-uh...s'not gon happen. Know why? 'Cause I always think 'bout you."

Chris is wide awake now. Did he hear that right?

"Me? You think about me? What do you mean?"

Sebastian huffs impatiently.

"S'always you, Chris. Mmm you're," He clears his throat. "'S'hot...so hot an I have been I'love with you for so long. S'hard not to touch an kiss you. I um… wanted t'kiss you in the theater t'night but ‘m scared you hate me."

Chris’s whole body freezes. He… Sebastian loves him? Realization hits him like a freight train. The intense looks, the lingering touches, the way Seb always goes out of his way to make him happy even if it doesn't benefit him. It all makes sense now.

He finally understands why Sebastian was so upset at the premiere, why he left him standing in a dark alleyway. 

Soft cries bring him back to the current moment and his heart clenches painfully in his chest.

"Sebastian, hey, no, no, no, don't do that. Please don't cry. I don't want you to cry over this, over me. You deserve someone better."

"'S'no one els'I want."

Chris swallows thickly. "Sebastian I-"

He cuts him off, beginning to cry louder. "You don' wan' me. M'not good enough…’m no fucking good enough!"

Chris jumps at the sound of glass breaking, his heart rate doubling in speed in fear of Seb hurting himself.

"Sebastian! Hey! Hey, listen to me, okay? I'm coming over. I'm coming to see you, alright? Don't move. Give me fifteen minutes." 

Chris quickly takes Dodger out to use the bathroom and feeds him before speeding across town to Sebastian’s apartment. He locks his car and runs upstairs to the third floor. He's instantly grateful he's been entrusted with the spare key.

Swinging open the door, he sees three empty bottles, one of which is shattered on the floor. Chris doesn't see any blood though and immediately breathes a sigh of relief at the sight of an unharmed Sebastian slumped against the wall of his kitchen.

He approaches him slowly like he's a scared animal about to flee.

"Hey, Seb. It's me. It's Chris. Come on, let's go get you cleaned up, yeah?" 

Sebastian gives him a lopsided smile, reaching up at him with grabby hands.

"S'you! M'so happy to see you an y'beautiful face!"

Chris pulls him up and steadies him on his feet.

"It's good to see you too, buddy. C'mon, let's get this suit off you."

He leads a very drunk Sebastian to his room, sits him on the edge of his bed, and kneels in front of him on the floor.

"Mmm, you gon' take m'clothes off?"

Chris lets out a breathy laugh. "I am. But no funny business, alright? We're gonna get you into some comfy clothes so you can get some sleep."

Sebastian pouts. "Tha's no fun! Wan' feel you an kiss you an," he whispers the next two words like he's trying to keep them a secret. "Have sex!" 

Chris cups Sebastian’s face between his large hands, a serious look in his eyes.

"Sebastian, listen to me, honey. You're drunk. Way too drunk to consent. I won't take advantage of you."

It's almost comical the way he crosses his arms and huffs.

"You jus' don' want me. M'ugly an' no' good enough."

Chris knows he won't get through to him like this. There's only one thing he can think of to do to make him listen.

"Sebastian, look at me. You are not ugly. The furthest from it."

He moves the pads of his thumbs underneath his puffy red eyes, the tear tracks make Chris’s heart ache. "You are," he brings his lips so close to Sebastian’s that he can feel his ragged breathing fanning against his own. "More than good enough for me."

As gently as he can, Chris presses their mouths together. Sebastian tastes like sangria and salty tears and all Chris wants to do is take him into his arms and kiss his pain away.

Sebastian whimpers and tries desperately to pull him closer, but Chris knows if he doesn't stop now the tether of his self-control will snap.

He reluctantly pulls away and smiles softly when Sebastian chases after his lips.

"You gonna let me take care of you now?"

Sebastian nods, "'s'nice of you."

Chris stands up and goes to Sebastian’s dresser, rummaging through his drawers before finding some sweats and a plain white tee.

"Alright, buddy, let's stand up so I can take off that suit jacket."

As soon as he brings Sebastian to his feet he can tell by the look on his face that he doesn't feel good.

He pushes Chris out of his way and stumbles to his ensuite bathroom barely making it to the toilet before spilling the contents of his stomach. 

Chris gets down on the floor next to him and begins smoothing a hand down his back to try and soothe him.

"It's okay, Sebastian...that's it, let it all out. There we go…shh…you're okay I've got you."

A few more minutes tick by before he physically has nothing else in his system to throw up. Sebastian groans and flushes the toilet with a shaky hand.

"’ M sorry."

Chris gently guides him to rest against the bathtub before wetting a nearby washcloth with cool water. He gingerly starts wiping it all over Sebastian’s head and neck.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Seb."

He discards the cloth in the tub and stands to fill the glass on his sink with some water.

"Hey," Chris runs his fingers through Sebastian’s sweaty hair to get his attention. "Can you drink a little water for me?"

The brunette nods and parts his lips slightly making Chris chuckle.

"Slow sips alright?" He tilts the glass against Sebastian’s partly opened mouth. "Don't chug it, okay? That's it…good." 

He helps Sebastian rinse his mouth out with some Listerine and even though it took a few minutes, he was finally able to get him in the clothes he laid out.

It's nearly one-thirty in the morning when he successfully tucks Sebastian into bed. Chris watches him breathe for a little bit. He looks so peaceful like this, like he has no pain.

Chris allows his brain to process everything that's happened over the last hour. His best friend is in love with him, no, not only is he in love with him, but he's also suppressed it for so long that it's taken a major toll on him.

Chris hates that Sebastian had to go through that. He even blames himself a little for not noticing sooner. 

Chris sighed, standing up from the edge of the bed to go and clean the mess in the kitchen. It was the least he could do.

He barely made it across the room before Sebastian’s voice made him stop in his tracks.

"No! Please…don' go."

He let out a broken sob and Chris’s expression softened.

"Shh, Sebastian…"

He walked back to him and crouched down to look into his eyes.

"Hey, no, no, no...don't cry, sweetheart. I'm not leavin' I'm just goin' to clean the mess in the kitchen, okay? I'll be right back, I promise."

Sebastian shook his head, his bottom lip quivering uncontrollably. "'S'not true. M'not worthy o'love…you'll leave me or find someone better. Jus' like ev'ryone else." 

Chris’s heart shattered. How could anyone hurt this man? Sebastian was this pure sweet soul who would do absolutely anything to make someone smile.

He wouldn't hesitate to give the shirt off his back just so someone else wouldn't have to go without. He was a beautiful, giving, passionate man who had, unfortunately, been taken advantage of one too many times.

Chris made a decision. He didn't have to think twice about it. He would do anything and everything in his power to make sure Sebastian’s heart never broke again. 

Ten minutes later, Sebastian was snoring softly nuzzled into the crook of Chris’s neck. 

"Sebastian, don't say that. Shh… I'm not goin' anywhere, okay? I'll stay. I'll clean the kitchen for you tomorrow, sweetheart. Please don't cry. You're too pretty to cry."

Chris stripped down to his boxers and slid beneath the covers, gently wrapping Sebastian in a comforting embrace. He swallowed the lump in his throat at the feeling of Sebastian’s arms clinging to him as if he'd disappear.

"Don' leave me…please don' let go…"

Chris pulled him flush against his body, resting his chin on top of his head as he softly hummed to try and comfort him.

"Shh, I'm right here, honey. Close those eyes and sleep for me, okay? I'll be right here when you wake up." 

He listened to his steady breathing, letting the feeling of his body against his lull him to sleep. 

Sebastian felt awful. His head was throbbing, his mouth was dry, and his eyes burned.

It took him a moment to realize where he was. He was definitely in his bed, there was no mistaking that, but he wasn't alone. Soft breaths fanned along the back of his neck and there was a pair of arms wrapped loosely around his torso.

He blinked a few times to adjust to the sun's rays peeking through the curtains and looked down.

He immediately stopped breathing, his eyes going wide with panic. He knew those hands, those were Chris’s hands.

Oh, god, oh no, oh no, what did he do?

Sebastian carefully freed himself from Chris’s arms and sat up. He ran through yesterday's events, piecing together everything as best as he could.

He remembered the movie premiere, how he got overwhelmed and had a panic attack in the back alley. Chris had comforted him, but he'd pushed him away.

Then what? C'mon Sebastian think!

Oh, yeah, he'd had a lot to drink and, oh god, he called Chris. Shit, did he confess that he loved him? God, he hoped not. He must have said something to get Chris to come over, but he couldn't remember.

He had clothes on, so they didn't fuck, right? He'd at least want to remember the first time they did that together if it ever happened. 

Chris began to stir and a new wave of panic shot through his body like a bullet. He scooted to the opposite end of the bed, pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes.

"Seb? Hey," Chris's thick fingers gripped his thigh, "how ya feelin'?"

Sebastian let out a shaky sigh. "Like I fucked up."

Chris sat up and attempted to pull Sebastian back into his arms. "You didn't fuck up. Not at all. Come here."

His breathing was becoming erratic again and he could feel his throat beginning to tighten. Sebastian stood up, hands coming up to grab fistfuls of his hair.

"I-I don't remember what I...FUCK! What did I do?" 

Chris watched as he began to pace, finally getting up to calm him down. "Seb, you gotta stop. Just listen to m-"

Sebastian stopped pacing and faced away from him, his forehead resting against the white wall.

"M'so stupid...so fucking STUPID!"

Chris jumped at the sound of his fist hitting the hard surface.

"Sebastian! Stop! Just please listen to me."

He grabbed Sebastian’s arm and spun him around, trapping him with his body. Chris’s arms caged him in, his eyes finding a shocked expression on the other man's face.

"Listen to me, okay? Can you do that?"

Sebastian nodded.

"You are not stupid, you didn't do anything wrong, and nothing went further than first base, alright? I'll start from the beginning. You called me absolutely plastered and we talked for a little bit. You got upset and broke a wine bottle so I came over to make sure you were okay. I brought you in here and planned on getting you comfortable, but you got sick. I took care of you, helped you clean up, and got you into bed. I fully intended on taking the couch, but you were insistent on me staying. I hate seeing you cry, Sebastian. I couldn't leave you, even if it was just 'drunk you' talking. Now we're here, and I'm not mad or inconvenienced in any way, alright?" 

Sebastian’s mind reeled as he tried to comprehend everything Chris was telling him. He felt horrible that he'd got so carried away, even if he was glad the love of his life was practically holding him against the wall.

Then it hit him, Chris just said they hadn't gone further than first base. First base?!

"Wha- I… we… did I-?"

He couldn't form a coherent sentence, his brain becoming fuzzy all of a sudden. Chris moved his right hand to Sebastian’s cheek, his fingers slotting perfectly behind his ear. They were so close now, emotionally bare to one another, and it was the most intimate moment of his life.

Sebastian closed his eyes and let himself lean into the touch, he allowed his body to soak in everything Chris was giving him because he may never get another chance. 

"Sebastian, look at me."

He shook his head no and kept his eyes shut. He knew if he opened them, if he looked into those beautiful baby blues, he'd lose it.

"Sweetheart, please? I want you to look at me when I do this…I wanna see those eyes."

Sebastian took a slow shaky breath and finally looked at Chris. The emotions he saw made his breath hitch, the guilt, the pain, and was…was that lust? 

"You're so beautiful", he breathed.

Chris studied him, took his time to capture every detail of Sebastian’s face. The thin wrinkles in his forehead that only surfaced when he was anxious or angry, the tiny lines on either side of his eyes that became more defined when he laughed.

His laugh, the one thing Chris considered to be the most beautiful sound in the world. His cheeks were slightly flushed, his eyes wide and sparkling with unshed tears. A few stray teardrops collected on a couple of Sebastian’s eyelashes, and all he wanted to do was wipe them away.

Finally, his gaze settled on his lips. They were chapped, an almost rosy color, that made Chris realize he never wanted to kiss anyone else ever again. Not when the most precious human being was right in front of him. 

Chris dipped his head and pulled him into another kiss. One of his hands threaded through Sebastian’s short brown locks, while the other slid under the hem of his shirt. The warm touch of Chris's fingers caused him to shiver and release a breathy moan. 

Chris closed the distance, pushing his nearly naked body against Sebastian’s in a heated kiss. He poured everything he had into this moment, all of his hopes, dreams, and love into his lips as he explored the brunette's mouth.

As much as he wanted to drown in Sebastian’s taste, completely lose himself in him, Chris knew he had to gauge his reaction. Reluctantly, he pulled back, but only far enough to see the questioning look in Sebastian’s eyes.

"Chris? A-Are you...are y-"

Another kiss silenced Sebastian before he could finish. "Do you want this, Seb? Do you want me?"

He looked at Chris like the answer was obvious.

"Yes, but you don-"

The third kiss to his lips made Sebastian’s mind go blank. "Don't worry about me, I know what I want."

Chris gave an experimental roll of his hips and Sebastian nearly came in his sweat pants at the feeling of Chris’s clothed cock against his own.

"Tell me to stop and I will, okay?"

"Okay", Sebastian whispered. 

Chris kicked his feet apart gently and slid his knee between Sebastian’s, giving his leaking cock some much-needed friction.

"Oh, fuck… Ch-Chris…"

The blonde nipped at the skin of his jaw playfully, swiping the short stubble with his tongue.

"Tell me what you need, sugar. Can feel you, baby…how hard you are for me. Bet your dick is so pretty. S'gotta be. All of you is gorgeous, Seb…so fuckin' perfect."

Sebastian couldn't think straight, let alone process all the filthy things Chris was saying to him. The fact he found pleasure in his body at all was a wet dream come true.

"Need you, oh shit, please!" 

"Mmm," Chris wrapped his hands around the back of Sebastian’s thighs, lifting him easily, and carried him back to his bed. He sat on the edge, bringing Sebastian down to straddle one of his thick thighs.

"Gonna have to be more specific, sweetheart. Use your words."

Chris was enamored by him, all flushed, practically panting with need, and he'd barely touched him.

"W-Wanna feel your mouth on me. Wanna cum down your throat, and feel you inside me. Want you to fill me up, Daddy." 

Chris’s eyes darkened, his whole demeanor changing over that one word. "Daddy, hm? Need me to be your Daddy, baby boy? Need me to take care of you?"

Sebastian whimpered. "Oh, god please!"

Chris grabbed the back of his neck and smashed their lips together in a possessive, needy kiss. Their teeth clashed as Chris licked into his mouth.

"Fuck Daddy's thigh, baby. Wanna see you come apart hands-free. Can you do that for me?"

Sebastian whined and licked his lips. "Y-Yes, Daddy."

"Good boy." 

Chris took Sebastian’s shirt off, tossing it somewhere on the other side of the room.

"You're so pretty, sugar. All smooth and toned. C'mon, stand up so Daddy can take your pants off."

He stood on shaky legs and let Chris strip the rest of his clothes off him.

"Oh, baby, you're a goddamn masterpiece. Knew you'd have a pretty cock. So long and thick."

Chris ran the pad of his index finger along the underside of his shaft, collecting a bead of pre-come leaking from his tip.

"Look at you, baby boy." Chris hummed as he licked his finger. " Already so wet for me. I don't even have to lube you up, do I, honey? C'mon, move those hips for me. Make yourself feel good."

Sebastian's eyes fluttered closed as he gripped Chris’s biceps, his nails leaving crescent indents as he began moving his hips back and forth. 

"That's it, sweetheart. So fuckin' sexy…watching you rub that pretty dick on my thigh."

"Daddy!,…feels - oh my goddd - s-so good."

Sebastian was embarrassingly close to cumming and they'd barely started. He couldn't help it, not when Chris was talking to him in that deep authoritative Boston accent, making his body come alive with want.

"Yeah, sugar? You're makin' such a mess, Sebastian. Open your eyes, look here baby," Chris took one of Sebastian’s hands, bringing it down to the large tent in his boxers.

"Feel that? You feel how fucking hard I am? Seein' you fuck yourself, gettin' my thigh all wet, s'takin' all my strength to keep from fuckin' you into your mattress." 

Sebastian made an obscene noise that was borderline pornographic, "Daddy… Daddy I… please can I… ‘m'close."

Chris began kissing him again, swallowing his filthy moans as he aided Sebastian in moving his hips.

"Sweetheart," He spoke against Sebastian’s parted lips. "You're such a good boy, askin' Daddy for permission. I think you deserve a reward, don't you?"

Sebastian dug his nails into Chris harder and shoved his tongue into his mouth for another desperate kiss. "I-If you'll let me have one, Daddy."

Chris kneaded his right pec with one big hand while the other rolled his left nipple.

"Oh, baby…Daddy's so lucky to have such a good boy. So obedient," he breathed as he took his bottom lip between his teeth. "I know I told you to make a mess on my thigh, but I think you deserve to finish in my mouth. Just like you wanted. You wanna see Daddy choke on that pretty cock?"

Sebastian nearly passed out at those words, his hips stuttering as he let out a choked moan.

"I'll take that as a yes, c'mere sweetheart." 

Chris moved him so he was laying on his back, his legs dangling off the foot of the bed.

"Fuck, Seb…you're a work of art. Just wanna taste every inch of your pretty skin. You ready, baby?"

Sebastian propped himself up on his elbows and nodded. "Yes, Daddy."

Chris peppered kisses up his left thigh and looked into Sebastian’s eyes as he pressed a delicate kiss to the swollen head of his cock.

"D-Daddy…"

Chris splayed his right palm over Sebastian’s abdomen to hold him in place. "Shh, Daddy's got you, sugar. Gonna make you feel real good."

Sebastian tried, he fuckin' tried, to watch Chris take all of his cock down his throat, but his eyes rolled back into his head on their own volition.

He was breathing rapidly, his hands fisting the sheets, and when Chris ran his tongue from root to tip he almost blacked out.

Sebastian watched his dick disappear into his mouth over and over, permanently storing the image in his mind. Chris was drooling and making the filthiest noises, making Sebastian’s legs shake.

"Daddy-daddy-daddy oh-my-god...sh- I… please. Feels so good….so good Daddy! M'close ‘m'gonna… oh fuck!"  

Chris pulled off him, a string of spit still connecting them. "Do it, sweetheart. Cum down Daddy's throat."

He took Sebastian to the hilt, his cock sliding past his gag reflex, and when Chris swallowed around him he cried out.

"Oh, god…DADDY!"

Chris hummed, swallowing everything Sebastian gave him making sure not to miss a drop. 

"Taste so fuckin' sweet, honey."

Chris lifted Sebastian’s hips and placed a pillow underneath them. "Daddy's gonna prep you, okay? Don't wanna hurt you when I fuck that tight little ass of yours."

Chris hovered over him, pushing two fingers into his mouth. "Suck."

Sebastian moaned around his digits, licking and sucking them like it was his last meal.

"That's a good boy. Alright, that's enough. Gonna open you up now. Tell me if it's too much, sweetheart."

Chris circled Sebastian’s rim, slowly pushing a spit-coated finger into him.

"Ohhh, Daddy…"

"Feels good, doesn't it, sugar? You're so tight and warm. Has anyone ever done this to you before? Have you played with this pretty little ass, baby?"

Sebastian shook his head. "N-No, Daddy. Fuck! Just you."

Chris bit his lip and moaned. "God, Seb…you're stunning." He added a second finger and began scissoring them, stretching him slowly.

"Daddy… please ‘m'ready! Please make me yours." 

Chris spit onto his hole and added a third digit. "Just a little more, sweetheart."

Soon, Sebastian was fucking himself on three thick fingers, saying Chris’s name like it was a prayer.

"Okay, baby. You ready for Daddy's thick cock?"

Sebastian whined as his legs were spread wide. "Yes, please, Daddy!"

Chris spit on his hand and pumped himself a few times before resting the head against Sebastian’s entrance.

"Remember to breathe, honey. This is gonna hurt a little."

Ever so slowly, he rolled his hips forward, his dick filling him up inch by inch.

"Ah! Daddy….Daddy, it hurts!"

Chris stopped and leaned down to kiss Sebastian’s lips. "Breathe baby boy…relax, and let the pain turn to pleasure. If it's too much, Daddy can stop."

Sebastian shook his head and wiped at the tears pooling in the corner of his eyes. "No, Daddy. Please, please don't stop. ‘M'okay…you can move." 

A couple of minutes later he'd finally bottomed out. Chris hovered over Sebastian, his hands cradling his face while he kissed him passionately.

"You're perfect. Absolutely perfect, Sebastian," he whispered. "Daddy's got the best boy. You fit perfectly around me."

Sebastian wrapped his arms around Chris’s neck. "Please move, Daddy."

Chris nipped at his bottom lip and pulled almost all of the way out before slamming back in.

If Sebastian was loud before, then he was surely waking the dead now. He set a brutal pace, the obscene sound of their skin slapping together, echoing off the walls.

"Shit, sweetheart… God, the way you scream for me is music to my fuckin' ears. Louder, baby. Want everyone on this block to know who makes you feel this good.

"You do, Daddy! OH FUCK! Y-You do…harder please!"

Chris changed his position again. He wrapped a strong arm around his waist and maneuvered them so Sebastian was straddling him. Their bodies became flush against one another as Chris sat up on the foot of the bed.

"Oh, Daddy…'s'deep…’m'so full."

Chris leaned back a little and supported himself with his hands. "Ride me, sugar. Ride Daddy's cock." 

Sebastian whimpered, planting his feet on the comforter, and began moving up and down.

"Daddy! Oh, please… please let me cum again! Wanna feel you too. Want you to fill me up, Daddy…please, please, please!"

Chris sat back up, his fingers gripping Sebastian’s waist so tight he'd surely leave bruises.

"God, sweetheart… you look so beautiful bouncin' on Daddy's cock. ‘M'gonna fill this pretty little ass to the brim. You close too, baby? Gonna paint Daddy's chest with your cum?"

Sebastian nodded. At this point, he didn't even need Chris to touch him. Not when his cock was slamming into his prostate on every other pass.

"Yes, Daddy! Please ‘m'so close! Please can I cum?"

Chris brought their mouths together in a sloppy needy kiss. "Fuck! Sebastian! Oh, honey, Daddy's right there…Oh my g-...Cum with me! Right now, baby! Cum all over me! Oh, FUCK S-SEBASTIAN!"

Chris slammed his hips down holding Sebastian in place, thick ropes of cum shooting into him. Sebastian screamed against Chris’s shoulder as he bit down hard from the intensity of his second orgasm of the day. 

When Sebastian opens his eyes again he was cradled in Chris’s arms, his knuckles brushing his cheek.

"Hey, baby… you with me?"

Sebastian licked his lips and looked up at him with a blissed-out smile. "M'yeah."

Chris kissed him sweetly. "Did so good for me. M'so proud of you."

He gave him another chaste kiss before pulling away to give him a serious look. "Sebastian, last night you told me something and I want to know if you meant it. Do you really…love me?"

Sebastian stiffened, his eyes filled with fear, fear that he'd be rejected. Chris was holding him tight so he couldn't move, he had no choice now.

"Yes…I-I love you. Loved you since the first Cap movie."

Chris smiled and kissed him deeply, putting every ounce of love and affection he could into that one kiss.

"I love you too, ya know. Couldn't imagine myself loving anyone else." 

For the first time in his life, Sebastian had found true happiness. 

Sebastian felt relief wash over him like a tidal wave, tears of joy falling freely from his eyes.

"Thank you, Chris. Thank you for loving me for who I am and finally allowing me to be happy."

And he truly was. 

And he'd found it with Chris.

[ghost--arts]

I wanna try my hand at redesigning some Sonic characters for fun :D I'm also throwing headcanons into the mix with these designs (which are still sticking close to canon events in the Sonic timeline and I'm gonna blab about them a tiny bit

Headcanons:

Sonic basically adopted Tails when he was a baby/toddler (taking inspo from the old cartoon) and even though they act very brotherly towards each other Tails also looks up to Sonic like a fatherly figure to him sometimes. Sonic can also act a little bit like a dad sometimes towards Tails because the little buddy means a lot to him. Playing with the idea that Tails might just straight up be a kitsune, which is why he has two tails, and whatever magic comes with being a kitsune enables him to be able to fly with them Sonic is like 17 or 18 at this point and Tails is 11 or 12 Sonic held Tails on his lap a lot when he first got him so sometimes that still happens so their friends will just walk in to Tails curled up on Sonic (you know the cinnamon roll position) while he's watching TV and this is just considered normal Sonic doesn't understand half the stuff Tails does sometimes but still gives him as much praise as possible just so that Tails never feels like an outsider again Tails will carry an emergency chili dog in the bag he carries because he knows Sonic loves them

and now the design rambles:

For starters I gave Tails a lot of blue accessories because I learned recently that Tails was originally supposed to have blue shoes but due to limited abilities in the first Sonic games they had to make them red or else they'd turn yellow whenever Sonic went super Also blue is just a really good color on Tails He also gets goggles and a little bandana because he's in the air a lot and I know some pilots will wear these to protect their eyes and keep their necks warm since that's a lot of wind and at a decent altitude and then a lil bag for carrying his gadgets Also Tails is kitsune inspired so I tried to model some facial features after that, like his eyes and then some little eyebrows and then overall coloration based more closely to an actual fox cause I think it makes him look fun :)

And now onto Sonic the man I gave him a ring bag to hold rings in that I like to think he's had forever since he needs some way to carry them, it doesn't get used as much now though because the ring bracelets were made by Tails to collect rings and convert them into ring energy, which is something used for speed boosting in the modern games The ring earring is honestly just for style The things on his arms and legs are both to fix that issue with his arms, said issue being the fact that Sega made them tan so they'd be visible against his body but they do make appearances as blue in the old cartoon so why not make them blue but put something on them to make them visible? My idea is that these accessories hold the ring energy in them and will glow blue on the blue parts when they're charged. Honestly though they're mainly just for the arm issue and to look cool. and yes, his eyes are separated. I just think it can look really nice, the movie Sonic pulled it off pretty nicely after all. I've also seen that some people are offput by it so I thought it'd be a nice change.

[demonichikikomori]

AND THE RESULTS ARE IN FROM OUR POLLS AND PIE CHARTS!

I would like to take a moment to thank everyone who came and voted in the form! This event could not have been done without all of your help! I have another event that will be announced on New Years' at midnight or 01.01.23 as the date... This one has a bit of a Sour theme to it... But that's enough stalling!

The Winner of Twisted Wonderland's Kinktober ‘22's vote is…

JAMIL VIPER, VICE HOUSEWARDEN OF SCARABIA!

with a total of = (63) Votes!!

I'm very excited to write for Jamil after sneaking into his fanclub meetings! Shh… Don't tell Ruggie!

Our Top 5 Runner Ups!:

Idia Shroud: 55

Ruggie Bucchi: 53

Malleus Draconia: 40

The Tweels: 34

Azul Ashengrotto: 32

It was so interesting seeing all the votes starting to roll in at first and see the pie charts change and see what those who visit my blog want to see most, and that would be the lovely Jamil Viper. It was honestly a shock at first that a character like Malleus or even Leona who are some very popular characters in the fandom didn't get that many votes. But I'm excited for such a difference to be made! I'll do Jamil justice the best that I can! Especially after recently finishing Snakes Whisper! (which was very fun to write thank you again anon)

The full creation for Kinktober '22 will be posted and shared on October 1st to my Ao3 account and a chapter will be updated each day for 31 Days.

And now for our 31 Days of Smutty Prompts!

Dry Humping - A quick encounter that got a little handsy…

Face Fucking - He has a lot of pent up stress, be a doll and let him use that slutty throat of yours?

Begging - He’s not one to beg for it, but with all of this teasing he can't take anymore.

Masturbation - You catch him in the act! Feeling brave enough to join him?

Overstimulation - The feeling is just too much...

Praising - He tells you how you’re such a well behaved servant!

Punishment - You pissed him off… Enjoy the consequences…

Mirror Sex - He wants to show you how pretty the faces you make are when you orgasm.

Orgasm Control - He is in control of all parts of your body, even when you can and cannot cum.

Face Sitting - As much as he loves being in control, why don't you shut him up for a bit?

Lingerie - Won't you dress up so pretty for him?

Deep Throating - Can you take it all?

Role Play - You do have a safe word, but it isn’t ‘stop’ or ‘no’…

Food Play - You heard the term 'don't play with your food' as a child, but you're an adult now...

Spanking - You aren't actually in trouble but it sure feels like it.

Toys - You and him decide to play with a few toys…

Uniform Kink - There was a 'Cosplay' event for the upcoming Holiday. And he's wearing a very attractive outfit...

Morning Sex - Even though it's so early, why not start the day right?

Phone Sex - You can't meet up, so you decide to make use of the phone you were given.

Clitwarming - He wants to twirl you around in his mouth like a pretty candy.

Cockwarming - You decide to tease him, by not moving.

Blindfold - He wants to see how well you do without your eyes.

Dirty Talk - He's feeling a little more talkative during foreplay...

Fingerfucking - You commented on how pretty his hands are, he wants a little more vocal appreciation.

Thigh Riding - You're horny. He's busy. Figure it out.

Wet Dream - Your dream got a little intense, or maybe it isn't a dream?

Semi-Public Sex - You just can't keep your hands to yourselves! Thankfully there's an empty classroom available.

Hair Pulling - He has plenty for you to pull on and yank around. Go ahead!

Accidental Stimulation - You didn't mean for it to go as far as it did...

Pool/Sea Sex - You feel a little frisky enjoying the pretty white sandy beach.

Aftercare - Ending on a softer note, this is how he does with aftercare!

I hope I am able to satisfy what you’re looking for during the 31 Lustfilled Days, of Kinktober ‘22

[llondonfog]

fic writer asks!!! 🌈 🎀 💝 🍭 💎 ☯️ (i got. a bit excited ahfbsjfn)

Let's Get ((REAL)) fic writer asks

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

the upcoming zine fic my god i just wanted it to be so perfect because this was my first time committing to a word limit way above what i normally write, and it would be illustrated by someone i really admire— i really agonized over every word of that fic and kept deleting pages of it because i doubted it so much lol overall though, if i'm struggling with a prompt, i'll just delete large portions of it and rewrite entirely, if not from scratch until the flow finally kicks in and the words start to piece back together

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

there are quite a few that i wrote as throwaways that spiked in notes which left me thoroughly bemused, but i have to say it's the potion!au one!!! that was a completely isolated prompt that i didn't expect to touch again after the twstober writing event, and i STILL get asks on it today!! it blows my mind how that resonated with so many of you- it wasn't one i was intending to world-build or even write more about, so i'm really happy that i've had the chance to explore it with everyone<3

🍭why did you start writing?

this is so lame, but i honestly can't recall. i've just always loved stories and i've always enjoyed writing/essay prompts for school when i was younger- pretty much all of my english classes would have us free-write for about 10 min of the period starting from when i was in 3rd grade, and that definitely fostered my joy for exploring new prompts and ideas. i think i was around 13 yro when i discovered fanfics, and that opened an entire new world where i learned that if i didn't like a scene in a book or how characters interacted.....i could just rewrite it and that completely blew my mind lol

💎why is writing important to you?

funnily enough, most of my writing could be considered vent pieces. i write to purge my emotions (positive and negative), and to validate for myself that i can still weave a story after abandoning the practice for a few years. it's a way of expression, and i enjoy having a partner along for the ride to grow with and from as we explore ideas together

☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

i personally think the positive engagement outweighs the negative- i love being able share work from the community and go wild with praise in the tags, i think that everyone deserves to hear how their artwork/story/post touched their audience. in that same way, it's how we all get to trade ideas and build off each other's premises that gets fed back into the community until they take on lives of their own. it's amazing to see what a thriving fandom can create when there's so much affection for the content and those creating, it's something i've not been a part of before when most of the fandoms i've joined have been dead ones lol

i can't say that i have social anxiety, but i am a highly forgetful person when it comes to engagement ; A ; i'll see that someone reblogged my stuff or left a message with a highly insightful and sweet comment, and i'll get all excited to respond to them later.......and then later turns into several days because it completely slipped my mind and it's too late to acknowledge it now ; A ; im really bad at that, i can only keep a conversation up with like two people online before i get completely overwhelmed and neglect everything else ailfjiafd

[foxachu]

Numbers 1, 2, 7, 9, and 12 for The Happy Fic Writer Ask Game? Or just whichever ones you wanna answer! ^-^

(For this post here)

Yes, hello! I had to wait until I had access to a full keyboard again. And I'm answering all of them :>

1. What part of the writing process is the most enjoyable?

Having written but honestly I really enjoy hashing out back-and-forth dialogue. Dialogue is so fun for me, and I really hope that comes through! Descriptions of the scene itself are my weak spot, in that it's more of a fight and doesn't come easy. So I do try not to avoid it, because perfect is the enemy of good, but oh man. When those dialogue-heavy scenes just flow? It feels like magic. You can do so much with mood and characterization just with how different characters speak with the other.

2. Talk about a favorite comment you received.

I have… a lot. I really appreciate everyone who leaves a comment, especially those who mention what specifics they liked about a story or chapter update (my end-of-chapter notes are boilerplate but I mean them every time! I do love hearing it!*) But there was one specific comment that guessed an upcoming plot reveal so incredibly on-the-nose that I was scream-laughing reading it, and I had to ignore that part of it entirely in the reply. God, it was so difficult. I wanted to take them by the shoulders and shake them like YES. I was finally able to do that a couple chapters later.

*Not just praise, but like. I'm human, I like hearing if someone liked my creative works, yeah. But I haven't really been an active part of a fandom in so long so I just like TALKING about the characters and story. I write fic like a love letter to the original work.

7. What do you love most about being a fic writer for your fandom?

Specifically focusing on UTDR (though I occasionally write for Fate and MCU, but I don't feel involved in their fandoms so much), I just love seeing other writers' takes on different theories and what-if scenarios. I'm a sci-fi fan at heart; and at its core, that's what it is: a big old WHAT-IF scenario taken to its (sometimes) logical limits. Figuring out how to make things work. Talking about little details that can have a butterfly effect on later canon events. The UTDR fandom is so FUN. There are so many things you can focus on and expand upon. I know nothing about the giant fandom-famous AUs but I think the existence of them is incredibly creative and interesting.

9. What inspired you to write your first fic?

My first ever baby fic was probably when I was in middle school, for Yu Yu Hakusho, and I honestly don't know the driving force behind it. I think I just wanted to see characters I liked in new situations. Actually, typing that out, that's the base drive for fanfiction itself, isn't it? It's playing pretend with typed out words, with -- in my case -- better writing than I had when I first started writing fiction for fun in elementary school. (Not fanfic)

More recently, with "Familiarity" (immediately following Undertale, Chara finds themself as the narrator of Deltarune and has to deal with all that (fun and friendship)), it started out as a one-shot. I had just finished Deltarune Ch 2, was immediately obsessed, carried over the NarraChara theory as a "what-if", and wrote the first chapter. I had in mind a small comic for it, but I hadn't drawn in ages and my style was unpracticed and not to my liking. So I wrote the first chapter, and then I was like… what if I just… do the entire game? So uh, yeah. DR Chapter 1 is done, and Chapter 2 is currently in development.

I really do thank Toby Fox for getting me back into writing. I went from struggling to finish 2k one-shots to pumping out 40k in a couple of months (that schedule was hectic, fun, and needed to be reined in before I burned out).

12. What is your favorite theme/subject matter/trope/ship to write about? Why?

MCU was enemies-to-lovers; I really loved Frostiron, lmao. I mostly write AUs for it, but I love the driving force of learning to understand the other on a deeper level, even if it's a bit tempestuous still. UTDR has all been gen fic (I really don't see myself writing ship fic for it at all), but at the heart of it all, I really love misunderstood characters finding love/family/friendship, and learning to TRUST SOMEONE for the first time in their life. God, it's so cathartic. I cannot do angst purely for angst; I am too mentally tired for that. It needs to have hope, the promise of something better. And, again, that's the theme for Familiarity and its related spin-offs. Even with the tragedy in the background of Undertale, the darkness hinted at in Deltarune, there's always hope.

[fuwushiguro]

Leave The Lights On, (It May Take A While But I'm Coming Home) ~ 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐎𝐧𝐞

Track Two: Lights On | 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

PART TWO

Mikey x f!Reader x Draken

Genre: Smut & Angst Notes: This is part one of two (it ended up being so long I had to split it up). It's a love at first sight type beat which is making me insecure for some reason I hope you all like it. And this is also part of @chikaiomoi's 12 days of kinkmas event... creampies 🥵 Warnings: hanahaki disease, vomit mention, blood mention, hospitals, medical stuff, major character death, angst, love triangle, oral sex (M & F recieving), dirty talk, name calling degradation, praise, petnames, unprotected sex, creampie, orgasm denial, fingering, masturbation, edging, vaginal penetration, pussy wedgie.Words: 13.8k

Feeling such warmth in the cool winter months was unusual to say the least. You knew it was even stranger to feel such a balmy temperature throughout, a pleasant sensation, at the acceptance that you were back in your hometown of Shibuya. A place that had previously brought you so much sorrow and heartache that you nor your family could bear to stay a second longer.

It has been twelve years since your brother was murdered.

It has taken twelve whole years for you to be able to return home.

Flowers have always been a source of joy for you, as they are with many other people. It had been your dream for as long as you could remember to have a flower store of your very own. You have fond memories of yourself and Baji running wild in home and garden stores while your parents shopped there on occasion. You’d be chasing your elder brother through the outside section and get distracted by the different plants.

He knew how much you loved them.

You steel yourself, fingers clutching intensely onto the countertop that holds up the cash register in front of you as you remember him affectionately. You recall him telling you that you’d have your flower shop and he’d have his pet store next door.

If only that were true.

You had a successful first opening day. The holiday season was right around the corner and people were buying flowers left right and centre for loved ones. It was difficult, fighting back tears, the few times you were told that a customer was buying flowers for the tombstone of someone who had passed. You’ll be doing the same soon. Baji has been without a visitor for so many years and you feel incredibly guilty for that. You should have been there, but you had no choice. You couldn’t be there, and honestly, you’re thankful that your parents had opted to emigrate to Germany. It was perfect timing, really, seeing as your father’s employer had been hounding him to take a promotion there.

It was just a shame.

Such a damn shame that it took the death of your sibling for your father to take the opportunity.

You smile when you step outside. It hadn’t been snowing all day, but now fat flakes are landing on your tweed winter coat. It’ll lie, it will settle and remain for a few days. You sigh when you remember that the novelty value of the fluffy, white snow will fade once it turns to brown and contaminated slush in a few hours. An inevitability of life that nothing and no one can prevent. It’s like many other things in that regard. You suppose you should take the time to admire it while you can.

Home is where you had planned to go; and yet for some reason you found yourself walking in the opposite direction. There was no attention paid to passers-by or sounds surrounding you. Nothing mattered but your feet in the snow. Each step you took left a trail from your shop to wherever the hell you were walking. It should scare you, walking so aimlessly and carelessly should terrify you. And yet, your nerves are calm. You’re relaxed and nothing seems real.

Nothing matters.

Except when you finally take the initiative to look up, your breath hitches. You see a figure before you, kneeling, alone. The fuzzy holiday cheer has dulled to a grey, melancholic atmosphere as you consider where you’ve found yourself. The stranger is kneeling by Baji.

You’re at the cemetery.

Though, you soon realise, the man before you isn’t a stranger at all. Save for a change in hair colour and more matured features, he hasn’t changed a bit. You’d recognise him anywhere. His eyes remain firmly closed. He’s lost in thought; lost in memories, too.

You knew of Baji’s delinquency, despite the fact he tried to hide it from you. It was obvious. He’d be out late and was always returning home with bloody and busted knuckles. You find yourself grinning when you think about the amount of times he told you he’d been punching walls in fits of rage. How many times did he think that would work? It barely worked the first time.

He was part of a gang, you recall them going by the name of Toman. There was a large number of them and you are certain that Baji was a founding member. He’d talk about it when it was first formed, though it was incoherent nonsense to you. He was just a kid, after all. It was just a child’s imagination, but your eyes sparkled with fascination whenever he’d talk about them. He was always so passionate, so happy when he’d talk about Toman.

There is a slight change in your breathing as you reminisce. It attracts the attention of the man beneath you, urging you to travel closer. You’re slow in your movements. Taking your time to take each step cautiously. He might be with your brother now, but that doesn’t mean he’ll care for your presence. You wonder if Toman is still in effect.

Is he still part of that dangerous world?

His features soften as he begins to recognise you, too. He smiles. It seems sincere, and yet, you’re still shaking in anticipation. You’re nervous. He is making you nervous. You needn’t be, though. There is no malice behind his eyes, and in fact, he seems happy to have you with him.

“Oh, it’s you.”

You began to see him every few days after that. Whether it was for cups or coffee or he’d drop by the shop to buy flowers. You weren’t sure if he had a girlfriend, or if he just wanted a reason to see you. He admitted that he loved talking to you – he loved talking about Baji. And you did too. It was a perfect arrangement for you both.

It was refreshing, truly, it was a beautiful feeling knowing someone loved your brother just as much as you did. So much so that he’d do anything in his power to spend a few hours with you.

“I’ve lost too many people who mean so much to me. It doesn’t get any easier.” he confides. You hold his shoulder in support, stroking your thumb over the material of his jacket as you urge his eyes to find yours. It’s a signal of sympathy and care. You hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way. Like you’re pitying him. You would never pity him for suffering loss.

You feel the same pain day in day out when you think about Baji.

“I’m really happy I got to meet you, Mikey.” you tell him.

He finds the strength to smile earnestly in return. He thinks you’re sweet. He might even go as far as to say you’re adorable. Such a kind, adoring soul with such a wholesome little flower shop. A beacon of positivity before his very eyes. He admires you. He can’t blame himself for the way he is. Cold, numb, almost emotionless. Though it appears that he has dealt with more loss than you have, he couldn’t help but succumb to the darkness within him because of it.

And yet, here you are.

Knowing you’ll never see your brother again. Living with the fact that someone so close to you is gone, forever, and you still find yourself able to be happy. To smile, unapologetically.

“There’s someone I’d like you to meet. Someone important to me. Would I be able to bring him here, tomorrow?” he asks. He has no reason to resent you or feel any form of rage towards you. But he can’t stop himself from feeling pure, unfathomable fury at the thought of you saying no. Though, he masks it well. He isn’t sure what he’ll do if you do refuse him.

“Whenever you’re ready. You know I’ll be around.” you respond as you rest your hand on his, offering a light squeeze as you do. Your response actually encourages a real warmth within him.

You’re much too trusting, he thinks.

Nevertheless, he’s excited. He’s brimming with anticipation to introduce you to the mystery man who’s name he’s choosing to conceal, for now. All will be revealed tomorrow. But, for now, he just wants to enjoy your company. Although the closing time is fast approaching, his time limit with you isn’t. He’ll be walking you home, after all.

You don’t see the way he watches you lock the door as if it’s a secret, hidden art he’s never heard of. It’s as if you are doing it in a specific way he’s never seen before. His gaze doesn’t falter when you lock it securely and turn to face him. His features are so kind. They suit him ever so much. It does pique your interest how a man with such a gentle appearance became the powerhouse leader behind Toman.

He walks by your side, making sure that you were away from the ongoing traffic as you journey to your home with him. You don’t notice the way he’s constantly surveying the area. Looking over his shoulder and across the roads. He is rightfully paranoid, knowing he’s a living breathing target and anyone could be tracking him. He wasn’t worried about himself, but he’d never forgive himself if anything happened to Baji’s little sister.

He was right not to expect an invitation inside since you failed to offer one. But that was okay with him, you’d be seeing each other tomorrow anyway. But your breath did catch in your throat as you turned to say goodbye to him. He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, you hadn’t predicted the contact and you were almost as frozen as the icicles dangling from the apartment barriers.

His fingers took advantage of your awkward state. They mischievously drifted from the shell of your ear and traced lazily along your jawline. He stopped at your chin, tilting your face in a particular manner as he observed your face.

He’s going to kiss you.

It was the one thought running a mile a minute in your muddled mind. Is he really going to kiss you? Do you want him to kiss you? It’s too weird, you think, he was a close friend of your brothers, and you think it’s wrong to do this. He’s just as fragile as you are. Albeit you’re putting on a brave face, but you’re hurting nonetheless. He’s going through it, too, he’s pretending.

It isn’t right for two lonely people to take advantage of each other.

His lips settled comfortably against yours. They were soft, and plumper than you had anticipated. He thought the same as you as he remained against them for a few moments before he got greedy. You hadn’t stopped him, so he took it as permission to carry on. He encouraged you to open your mouth, allowing him to slip his tongue by your lips with ease. The kiss remained terse and chaste. He had no intention of sleeping with you, he simply wanted to make his newfound feelings for you known.

He pulled away first, leaving you breathless and dazed from the loss of contact. It wasn’t that you wanted to continue, or that you even wanted him to kiss you at all. But the feeling of being wanted is a nice feeling to have. Especially after being lonely for so long.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped, I—”

“It’s fine, Mikey, it was nice.” you respond, a legitimate smile finding purchase on your features as you attempted to assuage his ever-growing regret. “I… don’t think we should do that again.” you confess.

“Oh?” he responds, quirking an eyebrow and a wicked smirk taking over him.

“It just seems… it’s a mistake. I think you’re hurting in the same way I am and you just—”

“I don’t do anything I don’t want to. I don’t care that we are both in pain, that’s not why I kissed you. I’m interested in you, it’s as simple as that.” he explains. You find yourself with an inability to speak, unsure what to say to his declaration.

“Oh. Well—”

“No, it’s fine. Again, I’m sorry. I misread you, it won’t happen again. I’ll see you tomorrow.” he speaks as he turns and walks away from your apartment.

You wave, a little uncomfortably. There is a burning feeling of guilt within you. But there was nothing to be done. You did like Mikey, but you couldn’t allow yourself to like him like that. You hope things won’t be awkward between you tomorrow. He comes across as a nice, kind soul. You hope he isn’t the type to hold a grudge against being rejected. You are more than happy to be his friend.

But you can never be anything more.

The morning seemed to drag. There weren’t many customers on account of the December frost attacking the air and the people who breathed it in. It was an assault to your lungs as you ventured into work. You ended up breathing into your scarf to stop yourself from inhaling anymore of it biting cold air.

You began to wonder if Mikey wouldn’t show. Had his ego been too bruised to bear showing his face? There was only so much manifesting that you could do. You found yourself desperate as you waited for him to show up with the anonymous guest. But he didn’t show.

Morning turned to afternoon.

Afternoon turned to evening.

And evening brought around the time that you like to lock up and head home.

You were in a state of disbelief. Unable to comprehend the fact that you really had been stood up by Mikey on the basis that you knocked him back. It was immature, you thought, and it made you realise even more that you had made the right decision. You draped your coat over your arm before you picked up the empty cup of tea you had sitting at your counter; moving to the back room to leave it in the sink. You’re too angry to scrub at it now. It’ll give you something to do tomorrow morning, at least.

Your bones chilled as you heard the cliché bell you had installed for each customer that passed through the entrance. It was cute and matched the aesthetic, you thought. But you didn’t consider how jarring, or in this case – creepy, the sound was. It wouldn’t have disturbed you so much if it wasn’t pitch black outside. It was intimidating, taking into account any normal person would have seen the closed sign on the door.

You huffed as you strode out of the backroom, finally graced by his presence.

Mikey isn’t a normal person.

“We’re closed.” you told him plainly. He scoffed at that.

“You’re mad?” he queried. “I didn’t say a specific time, did I?”

“No, but I’m closed now so it’s too late.”

The tweed coat you find yourself wearing on a day-to-day basis is on your body in seconds after speaking. You lean over the counter to grab your scarf and handbag, searching with a vengeance through the contents to find the keys so that you can lock up. Mikey doesn’t say a word throughout, he’s just watching you.

Your head tilts upwards as you hear the obnoxious ding-a-ling of the door sound again. And now, you are scared. You had somewhat been expecting and secretively wishing to see Mikey when you heard the noise sound previously. But now, there was an incredibly tall and intimidating stranger standing by his side.

Two thick strands of black framed his stoic, almost angry looking features. A striking dragon tattoo covers a large area across his temple and around the back of his head. He’s tough, he has to be to have a tattoo like that right there. It must have hurt something fierce. You find yourself smiling a little when you notice the hair atop his head has been pulled back into an unruly ponytail behind his head... It makes you recognise him. It’s unruly, because it knows it likes to be braided, usually.

He’s dyed his hair too. You didn’t think much of him when you met him once or twice as a child. But he certainly is handsome.

“Apologies for being so late, my fault.” he explains, bowing in front of you.

There was no need for such formalities, you told him as such. He stood upright, an ingenuine smile on his face. It was solemn, if anything, as though he’d forced it. It was uncomfortable to witness such a false facial expression etched on him. But you smiled in turn, anyway, like a human making themselves small to prevent a bear attack.

“This is Kenny, one of the founding members of Toman along with Baji and I.” Mikey told you.

You nodded; you’d assumed as much. Even you couldn’t deny that it was nice of him to bring another of Baji’s friends for you to meet. It had been quite the comfort for you to meet Mikey, more of Baji’s loving friends in your life couldn’t be a bad thing.

“What took you so long, then?” you hadn’t intended for the words to be more than a passive thought until you realised they were free falling from your lips and into the ears of the two men around you. Ken cleared his throat, approaching you carefully. Mikey was sitting comfortably on one of the chairs you set up for people who wanted to sit and enjoy a cup of tea or coffee while they shopped, paying little to no attention to you and his friend. His best friend.

“We had to take care of some little bastards that vandalised Emma’s grave.” the taller man of the two informed you. But you were a little lost, he was talking to you as if you had any idea who Emma was. Should you know her?

“Who’s Emma?”

Ken’s head whips around to face his friend, your eyes follow to do the same. It’s clear that Mikey has the answer, and he’s failed to pass on the information. You are seeing him differently now, too. You aren’t sure if he wants to be like Ken, or if Ken wants to be like him. Mikey’s black hair is a more styled version of your brothers, and shorter too. He has unkempt bangs that are different lengths, they don’t frame his face like Ken’s do, it’s more like they’re interrupting it. Covering the undeniably attractive features underneath. It’s odd, also, how you’re just now noticing he has the same tattoo as Ken. It’s on his neck rather than his head.

They sure are close.

“You didn’t tell her about Emma, Mikey?”

There is an excruciating pause between them. It’s as if Ken is willing Mikey to speak, and his friend can’t really be bothered to fill you in. But you do think it best to remain silent and wait. One of them is bound to break the silence at some point. But you hope that it will be sooner rather than later.

“She’s my sister. Was. She’s dead now.” he speaks, calmly. You catch Ken in the corner of your eye looking even more aggravated than he did when he first came into your shop. Emma must have meant a lot to him, to Mikey too. “She was murdered around twelve years ago now; would you believe that?”

You feel your throat clog with words that you’ll never be able to say. He’s been allowing you to prattle on about Baji while he is suffering in the exact same way that you are, and he didn’t even bring it up. Did he just want to let you speak and not care for himself? Is it too hard for him to talk about? Or does he not care for his dead sibling as much as you do yours?

“Whoever trashed her grave must have had a death wish, huh?” you commented, unsure if the stupid joke was appropriate. “Do you know who did it? Can you report it or—”

“We know,” Mikey informs you, “we’ll be taking care of it ourselves tomorrow.”

“We spent most of today cleaning it up, so that’s why we’re late. He wanted to delegate it to another member of Toman but I wanted to do it myself.” Ken tells you.

You disregard Mikey’s mention of taking care of things, instead focusing on Ken. His voice is so soft and hard all at once. It’s deep and gentle, calming and frightening. He’s a total dream that you don’t want to wake up from. He’s just so damn handsome, and hearing how much he cared for who you can only assume was his girlfriend and her memory is heart-warming. He’s mature. He’s as mature as Mikey likes to think he is.

“How about some flowers for her? They’ll be on me, if you want. Like a Christmas gift from me to you, or… her. I suppose.” you suggest. Mikey is once again uninterested in your conversation; Ken rolls his eyes when he realises he’s scrolling through his phone rather than giving a damn about your generous offer for his sister.

“I was thinking she’d like some flowers. Any suggestions? I don’t know much about flowers, are there any particularly Christmassy?” Ken rambles as he tries to articulate his questions clearly. It makes you giggle, you hop down from the stool you’re sitting on in search of the flowers you have in mind.

You return with two baskets with two separate bouquets of striking red. It’s obvious by his bewildered expression that he doesn’t have a clue what either of them are. You laugh, only a little, but it’s enough to grab Mikey’s attention. It’s only brief though, he’s immediately more engaged in the pixels on his phone than a seemingly tedious conversation about flowers.

“Poinsettia’s. Amaryllis’.” you speak, pointing to the left and right baskets in cohesion with your words. Ken scratches the back of his neck, still unsure of himself or the flowers before him. He laughs too, accepting he can no longer continue his cool guy act. He’s at a total loss.

“They look the same… though I guess these ones seem more Christmassy to me.” he tells you. It makes you beam a cheesy smile at him, happy with his answer.

“The poinsettia’s?” you question, feeling butterflies form in your stomach as you consider his words a little more, “Excellent choice, I feel the same, Ken!” you tell him, earning a nod from him. He’ll go with them; your approval was all he needed to hear. He’s sure it’ll be nice for Emma, too, a way to get her grave ready for the holiday season. He’s sure he’s never seen any flowers like these with her before. It’ll be a nice change.

Neither of you seemed to notice the sound of Mikey coughing aggressively a few feet away from you. He’s trying to be discreet, and apparently it has worked. His eyes widen at the sight of a singular petal resting in the palm of his hand. He looks around at the flowers near him, it’s none of them as far as he can tell. But after he heard you call Kenny by his name, his vision snaps in your direction.

It’s those.

The fucking flowers that you’re pushing in Kenny’s direction.

How the fuck did he end up choking on one of those?

“His name is Draken, to you.” he interrupts your conversation with the man apparently named Draken to everyone but Mikey. He continues on looking at his phone while you begin to apologise for speaking out of turn. A hand cradles his neck as he tries to alleviate the uncomfortable feeling in his throat. It’s irritated. Almost as if his windpipe has been scratched by the edges of the petal.

“Draken is a cool name. Sorry, I didn’t know you don’t like other people calling you Ken.” you explain. He shakes his head, not thinking anything of it. You weren’t to know unless Mikey had informed you prior. But you weren’t even sure who you were going to be introduced to today until he was standing in front of you.

“You can call me Ken, if you want.”

“Nah, I like Draken better.”

He offers a single chuckle before his sight is drawn to his newly acquired flowers. He can’t stop thinking about Emma, it’s one of the hardest times of year to think of her. It’s been twelve years, and truly, he misses her every day. He thinks of her death as if it was yesterday.

It will haunt him forever.

“I hope she likes them.” Draken muses aloud, not to anyone in particular. But you heard loud and clear. And for some reason, you feel like you need to reassure him.

“I’m sure she’ll love them.”

“I—” he stops himself, swallowing air before finding the courage to continue. “I wish I told her how I felt about her while she was still here.” he speaks so calmly it almost comes out as a whisper. It shocks you, really, to hear that he never actually had a romantic relationship with Emma.

You begin to cough uncontrollably. Hearing that he was never her boyfriend should make you feel better, but it doesn’t. It feels worse, if anything. It has been twelve long years and he’s still holding a candle for her. He’ll never get over her. Not only was she an object of his private affection, but she was his friend. And she was taken from him, from both of them, so brutally. A murder. God. A fucking murder.

He’s as surprised as you are when you pull your hand away from your mouth. A poinsettia petal sitting prettily in the centre of your hand. How on earth did that happen? Maybe the breeze from your hand flying to your face picked it up while you were coughing, and you hadn’t noticed.

“Have you been eating the flowers? I hope you haven’t given me a faulty bunch.” he teases. You shake your head, laughing a little at his joke as well. But your throat feels awful, and you are doing everything in your power to stop your eyes from watering. God forbid your makeup run in front of him.

The second you had started coughing, Mikey studied you. He couldn’t believe it. The same thing that had happened to him was happening to you, too. And the same flower, no less. There wasn’t a single logical thought running through his mind as he tried to piece together how this could have happened. And it wasn’t happening to Draken. Was he immune? Or were you and Mikey linked somehow? He shrugged it off. He shrugged it all off. There was nothing he could do, say, or think to make sense of it. There was no use trying.

You weren’t so easily dissuaded, though. It was weird and had never happened to you before. You laughed it off casually with Draken, but it scared you. It really scared you. Did you really cough that petal up? How is that possible? You’d have to leave it for now. It was likely a one off. Something that could be easily explained as something that you just couldn’t think of right now. It’s getting late after all. You’re a little tired and you’re still here way later than you usually are.

It’s fine.

Everything will be fine. Right?

Who knows, it isn’t normal. Mikey notes that it seems you aren’t as normal as you like to think you are. There has to be some sort of bond between you. He’s sure of it now. It has to be more than sharing the similarity of having dead siblings. More than them each dying twelve years ago. More than his friendship with Baji while you worshipped the ground he walked on. Those are normal, understandable things to bond over.

But coughing up petals isn’t normal.

The mournful hours between night and daylight are the hardest times for you. The times you find yourself thinking of Baji the most. Would he still have the dream to own a pet store next door to you? Or would it be a pipe dream. It makes you smile remembering what Draken told you today.

Baji’s right hand man opened up a pet store.

You’ll have to remember to look it up one day, soon. You hope your presence won’t be too much of a hinderance to him. They were close, clearly, close enough for the man apparently named Chifuyu Matsuno to complete your brothers dream.

But those are fleeting thoughts in your sleep deprived mind. 3am is a ghastly, haunting hour that has you thinking troublesome thoughts and impossibilities. Impossibilities, like, choking up a flower petal hours earlier. It doesn’t seem logical, but you aren’t sure how else it could have happened. Your insides haven’t been feeling their best ever since. It’s like something has taken root in you.

But that would be ridiculous.

You wouldn’t know, but Mikey is awake thinking the same things as you. While the glittering moonlight pours from your window to highlight the mischievous petal you’re twirling between your fingertips, Mikey is sitting at his dinner table with takeout food cartons and his petal in front of him. He’s thinking how ridiculous it seems that it came from inside of him. He too is feeling the irritation in his organs, he has been since he coughed it up.

What does it mean?

What does it mean?

You aren’t sure why you don’t just throw it away. Instead, you keep it safely on your nightstand between the pages of your diary. It isn’t that kind of diary. It’s more like a notebook, really, just names and phone numbers as well as the occasional shopping list. The petal you’re holding makes you think of Draken, again, he’s almost all you’ve thought about since you’ve gotten home.

It’s so inappropriate and hypocritical considering that you rejected Mikey, but, you can’t help it. You suppose it’s fine if you don’t act on it. You’re allowed to look at him… and talk to him… and think about him… and…

Your knees are soon bent, and your fingertips have long forgotten one flower in search of another. The bud between your petalled flesh can’t help but throb as you think of Draken. His deep voice and his broad shoulders. The way he smiles and his overall attitude. Your pussy gushes more and more and even more the faster your fingers work and the more you think of him. It’s so wrong but you can’t help yourself. You think of him as a dominant, rough fuck who talks to you so sweetly the whole time. Tells you how good you’re taking him and how perfect you are. And you can’t anymore. You can’t stop yourself. Closer and closer. Closer and closer. And then a memory you couldn’t bear to think of in a time like this hits you. Your brother. Fuck. What if his ghost follows you wherever you go? What if he is lingering nearby as you touch yourself thinking about one of his closest friends.

Sick. You’re sick.

It soon dulls the adrenaline and the longing and the overall want that you had been feeling seconds prior. Your heart is pounding, and still, it doesn’t matter anymore. You open your diary to see the petal between messy, scribbled pages again. You find yourself adding more nonsensical pen marks on the page again. Mikey’s name is already in there, so you write down Draken’s. You’ll have to get his number or ask Mikey for it. Your hand doesn’t stop moving even after you finished writing his name. You gasp as you realised you’ve drawn messy hearts around his name. It’s not like it’s your secret, padlocked diary. Anyone could see this at any time. Fuck. You cover it up by doing the same all over the page. It’s the only thing you can think of to rectify your accidental feelings that have bled onto the page.

Mikey’s penthouse looks like a warzone. A little mistake of his own found him looking through old pictures he had saved on his phone with Toman way back when. Pictures of Baji with his signature fanged smile and sly bronzed stare. He misses him. He misses him, dearly. You don’t look a thing like him, Mikey thinks. He wonders if you may have different parents. It doesn’t seem right to ask, it doesn’t matter at the end of the day. You are his little sister, the closest thing he’ll have to one of his oldest friends. And that’s what did it. That’s what made him snap and flip over his furniture, smash beer bottles and destroy all of the priceless artwork he’d collected over the years. You. That fucking petal. He coughs, and coughs some more. Not another petal, no, this time… it’s blood.

Spatter connects with the screen of his phone, covering his own face but not Baji’s. There are splatters painted across his wood flooring that serve no interest to him. He knew he liked you, from the very moment he laid eyes on you at the cemetery. You were like an angel sent to watch over him, a connection to his dead friend, an anchor.

You begin to cry as you look down at your bed sheets. Originally, you had thought it was spittle or phlegm as you began to cough so hard you thought you might die right then and there. But even in the gloomy darkness of your bedroom, you notice the fact that it’s a little… pigmented.

The sticky, spit fused blood is revealed to you once you turn on the lamp at your bedside. In your panic, you begin to search for your phone. Although you don’t know who you want to call at this ungodly hour. A friend? An ambulance? You begin to scroll through your contacts in search of Mikey. But something stops you. A shudder overtakes your body, and somehow, all worry is expelled from your system. It’s like something has stepped through you. Into you, even. Internally holding your hand and steadying your nerves.

I’ll go to the hospital… in the morning.

You strip the bed of the contaminated coverings. Quickly loading them into your washing machine; you hope the sooner you wash them the less permanent damage will be done. You don’t bother with a new covering. You’re much too tired, and too pained, to even attempt it.

Mikey pours himself a whiskey, sliding his back down the nearest wall once it’s in hand. The floor is cold, uncomfortable, but he doesn’t care. He too, is exhausted. Each breath he takes feels like it’s irritating his lungs. He lets his head fall back against the wall with a thud, shutting his eyes in the process. He can guide the alcohol to his lips without needing to see. It’s helping him. He’s getting woozier, he’ll just sleep on the floor like a fucking animal, he thinks.

You too are slipping away to the clutches of deep sleep. You need it, because you're completely drained. It’s hard to relax, knowing you might be seriously ill, but it’s a problem for the morning light.

It’s a flying visit to the hospital. He listened to your breathing with a stethoscope and claimed you may have a chest infection. But it felt like more. Much more than that. You had to beg him to take an x-ray. If not for him finally agreeing, you would have quite literally have gotten on your hands and knees.

“I’ll have the results in a day or two.”

“What?”

“I’ll have the results—”

“N-No. I need them now. I know you can get them sooner, please get them for me, now.” you demand. You can tell by his face that he’s sick to death of the sight of you and he’s desperate to get you out of the hospital. You suspect that is why he agrees. The sooner you get what you want, the sooner you’ll be out of his hair. He does have other patients to see, after all.

“You’re perfectly fit and healthy, see.” he tells you, presenting a copy of the x-ray to you. You scrunch your brows, however, as you look at your lungs. They don’t look right, not fit nor healthy. Is this so-called doctor even qualified?

“What about these lines?” you question. He pulls a face but doesn’t speak. A simple expression to tell you he thinks you’re crazy. But you persist. “These, these right here. They look like—”

He adjusts his glasses, taking another look. But he shakes his head, still, he sees nothing. Not a single line on the image.

“You can see them, can’t you?” you ask a trainee doctor in the room as you turn to show her the image. She too shakes her head, unable to see the supposed lines you are absolutely certain you can see.

It’s awkward, unimaginably awkward as you realise that maybe you are crazy. You finally wave goodbye, doing your best to come up with an excuse so you can leave the room quickly before they try and get you sectioned for insanity. You’re seeing things.

You keep your copy of the x-ray covered in the brown envelope he had given you. It’s not possible that you’re seeing things. It’s just not. You know there are weird lines on your lungs. And if you didn’t know any better, you’d think they looked like… roots. There weren’t many. A few roots and maybe even less stems growing from them.

“Fucking, stop it.” you mutter to yourself as you step outside of the building. The perfect white snow on the ground has officially turned to rotten, black, slush. Particularly on the roads. That’s why it shocks you to see a pair of motorbikes zip passed you carelessly. The riders had similar hairstyles but different colours. One pink and one blue. And their clothes looked familiar.

Were they wearing Toman uniforms?

Your question is answered as you see more motorbikes approach further behind at slightly slower paces. And they are all in Toman uniforms. You see a finger point at you as three bikes slow even more. The one who pointed turns out to be Draken. He stops with Mikey and another boy you haven’t seen. His hair is silver and he’s probably the friendliest member of Toman you’ve seen to date.

“What are you doing here?” Draken asks.

“I could ask the same.”

“We’ve got stuff to do.” Mikey tells you, bluntly. His gaze alternates between your eyes and the envelope in your hand, you clutch it tighter when you realise.

“This is Takashi Mitsuya, another friend of Baji’s. He was about to go and see Chifuyu at the pet store, do you want a ride?” Draken wonders. Normally, you’d be jumping at the chance. You really really want to meet Chifuyu. But you can’t stop thinking about this fucking x-ray. You know, you know deep down that what you saw was true. They each notice the lack of life behind your eyes. You’re there with them physically, but not mentally. Draken finally looks at the envelope too, and then behind you at the hospital building. “Were you… picking up results, or something? Are you okay?” he asks, obvious concern laced in his words.

It brings you back to them. You look behind you, down at your hand, and then back to Draken. A fake smile you can only pray is convincing is given to them. You nod, you’re fine. You’re doing just fine, apparently. Your thumb points behind you as you open your mouth to make a point about the hospital; but not a single word comes out. You smile again, letting your eyes flutter closed as you think about what you should say.

“Yeah um, a chest infection. I coughed up some blood last night, so I—”

“Woah, weird. Mikey coughed blood last night too. Maybe you have a chest infection too.” Draken interrupted. Your gaze snapped to Mikey who quickly looked away in horror.

“Y-You coughed blood, too?” you stutter

“Shut your fucking mouth Kenny.” he chastised, completely ignoring you. He readied himself to drive away from the hospital, but they were all waiting eagerly for your answer.

“I- I can’t, today. I’m- I need to go…” you tell them, it’s like there are clouds in your mind preventing you from speaking properly. You can’t think. You don’t trust your own mind, your own body. And this information about Mikey is a total bombshell. “Oh… nice to meet you, Takashi.” you flimsily tack on the acknowledgement before you begin to walk away. He says the same to you before driving off. Mikey is soon to follow with Draken slacking behind.

You don’t go home, like you said you would. Like you said you needed to. Instead, you end up walking until you are outside of your own store. It’s like a second home, a quick break here won’t hurt. It’s scary how terrifyingly dark it is in the winter mornings and nights. The limited sunlight is enough to drive you and your flowers to insanity and despair.

You set down your envelope on the counter, walking calmly into the back room to make yourself a cup of tea. Your breathing is wheezy as you stand and wait for the kettle to boil. You clutch your chest, unsure if you want to risk coughing in fear of it resulting in another bloody mess.

“Hello?” you hear a curious voice bellow accompanied by the sound of the bell ringing. You collect your thoughts and speak before leaving the room.

“I’m sorry we’re clos—”

“Just wanted to check on you, princess. Didn’t seem like you were okay.” Draken tells you. You nod, agreeing with him. You’re far from okay and now that you’re alone with him you can’t help but spill your guts to him. You ought to be careful, though, you might do something stupid and confess your little crush on him.

You offer to make him a coffee, which he accepts. The kettle was already boiling for you, so it worked out perfectly. He couldn’t help but look at the x-ray on the counter he was leaning over. He pulled up an extra stool to the counter so he could sit opposite to you as you drank your beverages.

He had a cheesy grin on his face when you brought them out. You couldn’t help but ask what he was so happy about.

“I brought Emma’s flowers to her today, they look great. I just wanted to thank you again.” he tells you. You smile, nodding. You blow on your tea to avoid speaking. God, you’re sick. You’re pathetic actually. Are you really jealous of a dead girl he never even had a relationship with? “So, what’s up with the envelope?” he queries, pulling you from your jealous notions instantly.

“It’s a copy of an x-ray I had today. I think there’s something really wrong with me, but no one is taking me seriously.” you admit. You unseal the sticky envelope and slide it across to Draken. “Have a look if you want, I’m gonna go pee.”

He helps himself to a view of your x-ray. He studies it carefully while he waits for you. He isn’t sure what to think. Is there something in particular you want him to notice? You smile as you walk back towards your seat. He takes a sip of his coffee as you approach, eager to swallow so he can quickly speak. You can tell by his facial expression he has nothing insightful to say or to add, so you prepare for the worst.

“I can’t see anything other than those weird lines on your lungs.” he tells you, casually, as he rotates it and repeatedly taps at your lungs.

“What did you just say?”

“The lines on your- oh. Fuck, those are lungs, aren’t they?”

“You can see the lines? The doctor and the trainee told me that they couldn’t see them at all! I thought I was going crazy, Draken, oh my God!”

“What? Are they stupid? They’re right there.” he tells you before standing up angrily, “Maybe they need someone more assertive to point them out.” he expresses as he heads towards the door. You chase after him, protesting to his idea of intimidation before pulling him by his wrist back to the stool he’d been sitting on.

“Do they… look like… I don’t know. Are you seeing anything other than lines, Draken?” you ask hesitantly.

He studies over the image. His index finger traces over the intricate lines as his face furrows in concentration. His mouth pulls curiously, like he has an idea but it’s too ludicrous to say. Say it. You silently beg. Your eyes are fixated on him as you wait for him to speak. To voice his thoughts aloud. You almost feel like you’re suffocating as see his lips pull apart before sealing again. Please, say it.

“Looks like a plant of some kind,” he tells you before facing you. Once he reads your facial expression, he instantly retracts the seemingly ridiculous statement, “I- ignore me. They’re just lines. Unless you’ve been eating plants again.” he jokes, not understanding the weight of his own words as he calls back to yesterday’s incident.

He notices your lack of ability to laugh along with him, and seals the x-ray back in the envelope. You want to shove it to the back of your mind, but you can’t. Draken can really see the plants inside of your lungs. They’re going to keep growing. You’re going to keep getting worse.

You’re going to die.

“Come on, I’m gonna take you to Mikey’s.”

“But aren’t you meant to be meeting up with them?”

“Doesn’t matter. I’d feel like a real ass leaving Baji’s little sister in her time of need, c’mon.” he told you, already heading towards the door without waiting for you. You hurried after him, locking the door behind you as he started up his bike. “Hope you’re not too much of a princess for a bike.” he smiles.

You used to ride with Baji whenever he had some time to spare for you, whenever he wasn’t busy with Toman. Bikes didn’t send your heart pounding into overdrive, but Draken sure did. You got on behind him, weakly gripping the material at the sides of his body. He let out a confused ‘huh?’ when he realised what you were doing.

“Here, put this on.” he commanded as he forced a pink helmet on top of your head. You adjusted it until it was a perfect fit, holding his sides again as you had before. “Tch. You’re gonna fall off if you hold me like that. C’mere.” he spoke. He pulled your arms around his body until he was receiving a hug from behind from you. It had your face flushing hot. Your first hug with him, and it was so meaningless. It was because you had to, not because either of you wanted to. “You better hold on tight, I like to ride fast.” he informed you. You nuzzled your face between his shoulder blades, letting your eyes flutter shut as you squeezed him tightly.

You squeezed him tighter again as he sped away from your store.

“You’re kidding? Mikey fell asleep and Baji had to carry him up all of those steps?” you laughed as Draken carries of telling the story of how Toman was formed. “He was always had a temper, I bet he was furious.”

You turned your head to the window as your partner in crime for the evening poured more sake into a glass for you. You’d been waiting at Mikey’s apartment for hours for him to get back. The winter daylight quickly came and went as you enjoyed your time spent with Draken. Mikey’s penthouse was huge. You aren’t sure what you expected, he’s a big name. A big deal. You didn’t feel right accepting a tour from Draken, you wouldn’t care for anyone wandering around your home without your knowledge or permission. If Mikey wanted to show you around, he could.

“Can I ask you something, Draken?” you enquire, earning a sceptical raised eyebrow from him. He nods, tilting the bottle towards his own glass as he awaits whatever subject you’re preparing you broach. “It’s been so long since Emma died. And you never told her how you feel, right? So how come you’re so…”

“Obsessed?”

“I was gonna say, attached. But—”

“Honestly? It’s guilt. I hate myself for not being able to save her and I feel even worse for never being able to tell her how much I cared for her.” he told you, taking a small sip of his drink and licking his lips before speaking anymore. “I was too busy being a tough, cool guy instead of having whatever happiness I could have with her.”

You felt your stomach drop as he spoke. It was all too clear how much he loved her, even still. Even after such a large stretch of time had passed, he still burnt a burning flame of love for her. Your hairline became damp, you could feel it even without touching. But you began to dab at it discreetly as you fanned yourself with your other hand. Christ. Is it getting hotter somehow? It’s like a fucking summers day in here. You can barely breath. Oh God. Oh God.

“I didn’t think it would still hurt as much as it did back then. Twelve years, fuck. It’s been so long… I just- I just don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone like her. I’ll never love anyone as much as I loved her.”

Oh God.

“I’m sorry, Draken, I have to go to the restroom.” he couldn’t even say okay as you rushed away from the Kotatsu table and down the hallway covering your mouth with your hand. You shoved the door open with such ferocity you’re surprised you didn’t force it off its hinges. You wanted to be sick in the toilet, but you didn’t make it. Instead, you were bent over the sink, coughing and retching your guts up.

Except, it wasn’t vomit in the sink.

There was no blood this time, either.

Just petals. Not one. Several.

There were at least thirty individual poinsettia petals sticking to the pristine, white, basin as you looked at them all. Again? Again with this? One was bad enough. But there are more, now. It still feels like you can’t breathe. You’re composed enough to make it to the toilet for the second round. It’s a combination of blood and petals this time. You’re unsure as to whether you’re rotting from the inside out of if your body is blooming anew.

Bodies don’t do this.

“You alright, princess?” Draken calls to you.

“Y-Yeah! I’ll just be a second.”

You quickly flush the toilet, hiding all evidence of blood and foliage from the scene as you did. You splashed a little water on your face and fanned yourself to both simultaneously dry it as well as cool yourself down. The running tap began to wash away all of the petals left there too. When you finally felt calm enough to show yourself, you ventured down the hallway to return to Draken.

You were surprised to see he was already waiting by the end of it for you, smiling happily to see you were okay. He didn’t ask what you were doing. He didn’t pry, at all. He just asked, again, if you were okay.

It never failed to intimidate you whenever you were this close to him as you could really appreciate just how tall he is. A true behemoth. He looked down on you, it would almost be patronising if he didn’t have such a considerate glint behind his eyes. Your eyes were shimmering to him, he wondered to himself if you had been crying in the bathroom. You hadn’t, but you may as well have been. You couldn’t stop letting your gaze fall to his lips.

You can’t.

You can’t.

You can’t.

But you do.

Your fingers interlock behind his neck as your lips meld against his. His eyes stay open in surprise while yours had closed the second you came into contact with him. Eventually, he followed suit. Maybe you were imagining things, but you could swear he was enjoying it. And it almost felt like he was kissing you back. His hands smoothed down your sides as he walked backwards in the direction of the kotatsu table.

But he stopped moving.

The kiss intensified as he pushed you back into the nearest wall. A moan escaped you as your head thudded against it, and he devoured that delicious sound you just made for him. He mumbled a sweet little sorry into your mouth between a particularly tongue heavy kiss. It was loaded, it was breathy, it was everything. He smoothed a large palm over your head where he thought the wall had hurt you, making sure you knew how sorry he really was. You didn’t care, though, you just wanted him. You need to tell him, you need him to know just how badly you want him. You need to tell him, now.

“Draken… Draken I- I… need you.”

He pecks his lips against yours. One final kiss before he pulls away completely. A hand on one hip while he uses his other to scrub harshly against his lips. It was like you were disgusting. Like he just made the biggest mistake of his fucking life. You tainted him.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you back, that was a mistake.” he tells you, coldly. He’s looking you dead in the eye as he speaks, unashamed and undeterred to tell you how he really feels. There’s no holding back with him. You should have known it was too good to be true. “It’s… I just told you about Emma. Why did you do that?” he questions. He’s accusing you like you’re on fucking trial. You can’t help that you have a crush. Maybe it’s a little more than a crush. A very intense crush. Either way, you can’t fucking help it.

“I—”

Just at that moment, both of your heads snap in the direction of a slamming door. A dishevelled head of black hair is staring daggers at the two of you. You have no idea how much he fucking saw or heard, you just pray to whoever is listening that it wasn’t too much. Because you’re a hypocrite. You’re a hypocrite because you rejected Mikey for a simple reason that translates just as well to Draken. It’s a different rule for each of them and you don’t know why. Draken approaches him, aiming to diffuse the tension from the heated slam of the door. But he’s stopped before he can step any closer.

“What the hell is this?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t come today, I—”

“It was my fault, Mikey. The doctors were giving me a hard time about my results and Draken offered a friendly ear, we’ve just been waiting for you to get back.” you interrupted, trying to take the heat off of Draken’s back. You knew it was a bad idea coming here, but you came anyway. You couldn’t resist him when he offered you one on one time. What a ridiculous crush.

“It was just a chest infection.” Mikey told you, very matter of fact-ly, as he approached.

“I’m just worried it’s something more, so I asked for an x-ray. Here look,” you explained as you picked up the envelope from the table. “Look at all of these lines. The doctor said he couldn’t see them but me and Draken can.” you told him, pointing to the patterns you can see in your lungs. Mikey almost snatches it from you, bringing it closer and further away from his face a few times as he tries to get a good look.

“There are no lines.” he announces.

“What? Mikey, you can see them plain as day.” Draken speaks.

“No, I can’t, because there are no lines. Don’t talk to me like I’m an idiot, Kenny.” he responds in turn. It shuts Draken up fast, although with an exasperated sigh. Like he tells him to shut up on a regular basis, he’s heard it a million times before and he’ll likely hear it another million times in the not-too-distant future. There is a look shared between yourself and Draken. A look that Mikey cannot stand because it’s like you have a secret. A new secret you’ve formed in these hours you’ve spent together becoming too acquainted for his liking. Too familiar, too intimate. He begins to cough, blood sputtering all over his hand as he does. Draken wants to rush to his side, but Mikey holds his hand up, ordering not to come an inch closer. He doesn’t want his help. And he isn’t fucking done talking. “Besides, what does an x-ray have to do with why you two were kissing in my house?”

“Oh, Mikey, I’m sorry—”

“We weren’t.” Draken objects.

“I saw you, Kenny.” Mikey argues, calmly, “I thought you were in love with Emma.” Mikey taunts.

“What? I am. Of course I am, how could you even—”

“Oh? You love her, still? Even though a cheap little whore shakes her ass and gives you a sob story and you’re on her like a dog in heat. Is that how much you love my sister?” he carries on. Knowing exactly which buttons to push to have Draken’s blood boiling. You can see a vein pulse in his forehead and you know he’s about to blow. These two seem too close to have ever had a serious fight, but Draken looks real close right now. Like he could kill Mikey with his bare hands if he really wanted.

“How fucking dare you question my feelings?”

“Guys—” you try to speak up. Suddenly you feel lightheaded. You feel sick again. But you don’t think you’ll make it to the bathroom this time. Barely being able to stand on your own two feet has you swaying and wobbling in different directions. But they pay no mind to you, too entertained with their meaningless argument.

“I’m sure she’ll be rolling in her grave after that. Bringing her flowers from your new little piece in an attempt to appease your guilt for moving on.” Mikey continues, adding more and more salt into an already infected wound. It’s sick. Even in your state you know what he’s doing to Draken is wrong. He knows how much he loves Emma, and after twelve long years, he should be able to move on if he meets the right person. He knows all of that.

He just doesn’t want to right person to be you.

“Guys…” you try again, to no avail. Your vision is blacking, and you can hardly hear their bickering anymore. You manage to hold yourself up by clinging for dear life on the wall beside you. You were beginning to doubt if you had even spoken at all, though you know you just weren’t loud enough. Your lungs didn’t have the power to speak any louder. One more time. One more time. Come on, one more time.

“Don’t push me Mikey. Don’t fucking push me and don’t speak for her. I’m not moving on and I love her, it was a mistake. We agreed it was a mistake, it won’t happen again.”

“Guy—” you can’t finish. Not even one more time. They both finally face you as they hear the unmistakable sound of retching and vomit splattering against the floor.

“Did you just puke on my Italian wood floor?”

You can’t answer, your knees buckle in on themselves and you collapse sideways onto the ground. It’s a miracle that the only area on your body that had become stained in the vomit was the skin of your exposed knee through your ripped skinny jeans. But when they see it, when they really see it, they realise it isn’t vomit. It isn’t fucking vomit at all.

“Shit, Mikey, it’s blood!”

Mikey’s entire body tenses up, seeing you almost lifeless on his floor. He only snaps back to reality when he sees Draken rush to your side, cradling your head in his hands as he helps rest it on his lap.

“We gotta get her to the hospital, call an ambulance Mikey.”

“She’s not going anywhere, Kenny, she’s staying here with me.” he tells him. “And you need to get the fuck out of here before I kill you.”

“What? Mikey she just—”

“Leave, Kenny. She doesn’t need you, Emma does. Emma did, today, and you let her down. So get the fuck out of my house.”

Draken takes off his jacket to place under your head before he moves away from you completely. He passes Mikey, not speaking a single word. Mikey doesn’t move, either, he isn’t eager to be by your side. He isn’t going to rush. He’s won, after all. He’s won.

“I cleaned your entire apartment after you trashed it last night. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I think it’s about her.” Draken talks, calmly, with no malice behind his words. “Please, figure it out. I’ll see you tomorrow.” those are his parting words before he peacefully shuts the door behind himself.

Mikey doesn’t instantly rush to your side. Instead, he washes his hands in the kitchen sink, ridding himself of the gooey blood still decorating his hands. Once dry, he finally comes over to you. He picks you up with ease, carrying you bridal style to his bedroom. He wanders to the bathroom where you had been prior to his arrival to retrieve a bucket from under the sink. His eyes bulge as he sees what is in the sink itself. A lonesome petal clinging on, refusing to go to the plughole despite how much water is crashing down on it.

Is it getting worse for you, too?

He got the bucket for you, specifically. In case you needed to be sick anymore when you woke up. He was unsure whether he should undress you or not. It isn’t comfortable to sleep in jeans, but he can’t bring himself to take your clothes off while you’re unaware. Instead, he finds a baggy t-shirt that one of the larger members of Toman had left here after a few drinks one night. It was practically a circus tent all on its own, it would serve as a perfect nightgown for you. It had been cleaned thoroughly, of course. It smelt like jasmine flowers. He set it down on the bedside cabinet for you, giving you the option to wear it if you pleased when you woke up.

He sat by your side, refusing to sleep until he knew you were okay. You were shivering during the night, and he covered you with an extra blanket. He knew you were okay. You were going to be okay.

You finally became conscious at 4am. The only light in the room was Mikey’s iPhone on full brightness. His eyes were swollen, he was exhausted, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t show it, but he was ecstatic that you were finally awake. He put his arm around your shoulder and pulled your body closer to his. Your head rested comfortably on his chest, close enough to hear his quickly beating heart. It was excitement, adrenaline, joy.

The sky was a mournful shade you can’t even begin to pretend you know the name of. It’s dark, but there is a lightness to it. Like an artist has mixed blue, green and the tiniest helping of white on a palette. That is the sky you can see through the window. It’s so depressingly bleak. The colour of the sky is clinging on to life before the promising stab of orange that brings hope of a new day and another chance.

Soon.

But for now, it causes a drowsy, melancholic tone to the room you’re in. Mikey’s phone is blinding, so you choose not to look. Focusing all of your attention on the back of your eyelids instead. That is, until—

“I saw a petal in the sink.”

Your heart stops, then, how could you have been so careless? God, you’re such an idiot. You should have stayed until you knew each and every stupid fucking poinsettia petal had been drowned down the plughole. How are you even going to explain it to him?

“It’s getting worse for me, too. More petals, more blood. More pain.”

“Will you go to the hospital? Let me come with you, please.” you beg, your eyes are soaking wet without shedding a single tear. You’re scared, is all. Scared for you, and scared for him. It is getting worse. In the same way it is for him. And fuck it hurts. It really fucking hurts.

“Huh, the hospital? For you? Sure, I’ll go.”

“Thank you, Mikey.”

He smoothed his large palms over the crown of your head, almost sending you to sleep all on their own. It’s so comforting, so calming. Your eyes are so heavy, you’re dozing off even faster than you thought possible. But you don’t want to sleep, for some reason, you just don’t want to sleep quite yet.

“He loves Emma too much, you know.” Mikey whispers. Your ears prick up, but you don’t move. He knows you’re awake, though you’re pretending to be asleep. He felt your whole body tense up at the mere mention of his sister’s name. You’ll never compare; Draken won’t even let you compete. “Kenny’s downfall is that he’s a good guy. So much of a good guy he doesn’t want to break a dead girl’s heart.”

“Why are you telling me this Mikey?” dropping the act when you accept he isn’t buying it.

“Just some food for thought for you. I left something for you to sleep in on the nightstand if you want to change.”

You sit upright away from him and look at the plain black t-shirt. It’s so hard to see properly as you try and search through the room for a door to leave so that you can get changed privately. You hear Mikey scoff, but it doesn’t deter you.

“I’ll turn around.”

He’s true to his word. Turning his back completely, slouching over himself, horrific posture as he continues to play with his retina burningly bright phone. You turn, too, facing your body away from him as you begin to strip down to nothing but your panties. His words play on a constant loop in your mind. Again and again and again. He loves Emma too much. You know that. God, you already fucking knew that. And still, it cuts deep to hear it from someone else. You can’t believe you were so careless as to kiss him in Mikey’s apartment, you’re lucky you didn’t cause even more trouble than you already had.

He loves Emma too much.

Your throat tightens as you begin to cough again. Mikey wants to turn and face you, to see if you’re alright. But he’d never break his word. It isn’t as much as last time, a few petals flutter shyly to the ground. Six or seven this time. God.

“I think I’m going to die, Mikey.”

“We’re all going to die sweetheart. I think it’s gonna happen sooner for us if we can’t figure out what’s going on, though.”

It makes you cry, hearing him talk like that. You feel like you’re only just getting started. It was a traumatising loss to lose your big brother when you were just twelve years old yourself, but you picked up the pieces and managed to make your dreams come true. Your little dream of owning a flower store in the heart of Shibuya. And you just made it a reality. It can’t all be over yet. Not now, not so soon. You wipe away the tears, turning around to look at Mikey.

“Mikey…”

“Yeah?”

“Please, look at me.”

It takes him a minute. He has a feeling he knows what you’re asking, but he doesn’t want to assume. He puts his phone down slowly on his nightstand, taking a second to gather his thoughts. He was right, his suspicions were correct as he stands to his feet and turns to face you.

You aren’t wearing the t-shirt.

He starts to walk on top of the bed. He too remained fully clothed in bed while he watched over you, even down to his socks. He lands with a thump, until he’s standing close enough to you that he can touch you. You’re crying, still. Covered in goosebumps and breathing erratically.

“Don’t you want to wear this? You’re freezing baby, put it on.”

“I don’t want to die, Mikey, I don’t—”

“I’m not going to let that happen. Okay? You’re going to be alright.” he interrupts, cupping your face and forcing you to make eye contact with him. He brushes your tears with his thumbs, willing you to stop crying. He can’t stand to see it, but he understands. As much as he doesn’t want you or himself to die, it isn’t looking promising.

Time seems to go in slow motion as you tilt your head and move it closer to him. It’s another chaste, innocent kiss. Nothing like yours and Draken’s had been. Like your first kiss with Mikey outside of your apartment. But this time, you both wanted it. It got a little more heated, but you pulled away before it could advance any further.

“I want this Mikey, I want you to make me feel better.”

No more words need to be spoken, it’s all he’s dreamed of hearing since the moment he laid eyes on you. You want him. He helps you jump onto him as you finally kiss as new lovers should. Messily, clumsily, dripping in sickening eroticism. Your legs wrap around his waist as he carries you back to the bed. He drops you down from a small height, causing you to bounce on the mattress while he gets down on his knees. He’s face to cunt with your lewd, lace panties. They’re hugging your lips so tightly he can almost see each defined outline of your wanting folds. He hooks a finger under your panties, pulling them up towards your stomach until your pussy lips have sandwiched the material uncomfortably between them. His finger pulses, the vibration instantly stimulating your swollen clit.

“Ah-! Ah-! Please don’t tease, Mikey!”

“I’m making you feel better, aren’t I?”

“Y-Yes, fuck. Yes Mikey! Feels so good!”

He licks a fat stripe up your cunt lips, spending a little extra time laving over your puffy clit. God you taste sweet. Your pussy smells even better than your flowers. He’s lapping over the sodden material like a dog at a water bowl. It’s not enough. It’s nowhere near enough. You’re begging. You’re crying. Fuck, you’re practically screaming at him to do more.

“Shoulda known, impatient little whore.” he speaks against your drenched sex, “I’ll give it to you, but I need you to give me everything first. Just once, on my tongue, you taste too sweet to waste.”

He tears the material of your underwear apart with ease. The sound of the ripping makes you shiver. He gently pushes your legs open to ogle your heat in all of its glory. So pretty, such a perfect little pussy. He muses to himself quietly. But you hear him, your entire body flushes warm at the praise, conflicting with the chilling air in the room. He forces your legs over his shoulders and hooks his arms around your thighs. He wants to be closer, he wants to be impossibly closer to your cunt so he can feast upon all of you. Every drip and string of slick your pussy pushes out, he wants all of it.

“D-Does it really taste good, Mikey? – ohhh, hnnggg – God, Mikey, yes…”

“Like strawberries ‘n cream baby, smells so sweet and tastes even better.”

Your back arches from the bed, he has to free his grip from one of your thighs to softly press you back down. You’re better than he could have ever imagined. He always gets what he wants in the end, but he knows this is just a steppingstone. You aren’t his, but he’ll mark you as such. He knows you’re falling for Kenny, he won’t stand for it. He saw you first. He was better friends with Baji than Kenny was. He deserves you – not him. Although, the Baji argument may work more in Kenny’s favour than his, does it make him a bad friend? He doesn’t care. How can he care when he’s drowning in your essence?

You rake your fingers through his hair, attempting to bury him further between your legs. You need him closer, too. Closer than he can be. Close enough to make everything better. Your legs begin to shake on him, he’s going to get what he wants soon. He is, isn’t he? You won’t deprive him of your delicious taste.

“O-Oh. Mik- Miiikey, fuck.”

“Gonna cream all over my face, hah? Ready to cum f’me gorgeous?”

His free hand slithers up your body to grope at the fat of your breasts, alternating in staggered patterns which he gives attention to. Your pert nipples become the subject of his torment as he kneads and rolls your baby soft skin between his long, spindly fingers. Your body bucks wildly, unintentionally fucking his face as each sensation takes over your body. His hand smooths down your stomach to press down on it again, doing his best to keep you pressed firmly against the mattress.

You need to be a good girl for him and stay in place.

“’m gonna cum, c-can I? I n-need to cum, Mikey!”

“Cum, cum baby.” he speaks as he whips his tongue over your slippery clit even quicker.

You almost rip his raven locks from their roots as you finally reach your peak and gush all over his face. Christ he’s good at giving head. Even if your lungs weren’t so fucked up, you were sure you wouldn’t be able to breathe. You’ve never felt an orgasm like this. You can feel it throughout your entire nervous system. From the top of your head to the tip of your toes. Mikey is in heaven, he thinks, your cunt pushing out more and more slick and he plans on slurping up every last drop.

“S-Stop, Mikey! ‘m sensitive, s’too much!”

He does nothing of the sort. Your pussy is a delicacy to him, an undiscovered delight that he can’t let anyone else know about. It’s all gone. Every drop of slick from your lips has been drank down in a lust-filled stupor.

“Fuck, best pussy I’ve ever tasted.” he exclaims, wiping your juices off his face with the back of his hand. He lets you pull him closer to him by his jumper for a show-stopping kiss. “I have to- I have- baby I need to fuck you s’bad. Now, need it now.” he tells you between kisses. You nod, accepting, you need it too.

He pulls his jumper over his head, revealing an unexpected rippling body. He cups your face with one hand, unable to keep away from your kiss-swelled lips a second longer. He finds it in him to begin undoing his own jeans with one hand. You pull away, moaning into an open-mouthed kiss as you catch sight of his throbbing erection. It’s so much bigger than you anticipated, albeit in the skinny side. But you’re sure the defined tip and bulging veins will make up for the girth. He jerks himself off as he continues kissing you, you need it. God, you need to taste him.

“Mikey I wanna- Can I—?”

“Just a little, okay? Just for a little bit. I need to feel that pretty pussy wrapped around me.” he accepts, standing up straight. You get on your knees slurping him like a fucking monster in an instant. “That’s it, get it nice ‘n wet.”

Wet is the understatement of the year as he holds your head in place until your legs are kicking wildly from the inability to breathe. You choke, gag, and spit all over his oh-so pretty cock. He repeats it a few times, only letting you pull away at the very last second. His cock is perfectly drenched in your spit, so much so it’s practically waterfalling from his length.

“You like sucking cock, huh? You’re good at it, ‘m gonna cum soon if you’re not careful.” he warns you. You smile around him when you hear him praise your dick-sucking abilities. He hisses sharply as you gently cup his balls, yanking you away by your hair. “Such a slut, fuck. Kiss me.” you do, you’re tasting each other and it’s so naughty and lewd. He doesn’t care that your lips were around his shaft seconds prior, the depravity of your spit slicked lips is driving him to despair.

You’re thrown down onto the bed on your back. He pushes your knees to your chest, eager to sheath himself to the hilt inside of your wet walls. He’ll be furious if he cums the instant he bottoms out. He’s close, that hummer you gave him was too fucking perfect. He’s gonna lose it. He’s gonna fucking lose it.

“I want you on top sweetheart, wanna see your tits bounce.”

Sloppy kisses with him on top switch to you being above him as he rolls you both over until he is on his back. You’ve never been confident about being on top, but you’re willing to try. You practically squeal as he spears himself upwards into you once you’ve lined him up with your entrance. You lean down to kiss him, but you stop just short when he wraps his fingers around your throat. His free hand holds onto one of your breasts, guiding it to his lips. Wanton moans flee from your lips at the feeling of your nipple being caressed by his warm tongue, and he starts to fuck up into you.

“Oh God, Mikey PLEASE!” you yell, each drag of his cock against your g-spot has more stars dotting behind your fluttering eyelids. You’re forcing yourself to keep your eyes open. Mikey hums around your nipple in pleasure of the sight of your cock drunk gaze, eyes rolling deliciously into the back of your head as he fucks you so heavenly.

“Taking my cock so good doll, think you’re gonna cum again soon.”

“Y-Yes. Mikey ‘m gonna—”

“Better not, better be a good girl and hold it in because I didn’t say you can cum from my cock. This is my turn to cum. If you’re good, maybe I’ll let you cum after.”

You can barely think as his grip around your neck intensifies. He releases you, eventually, so he can focus all of his attention on pounding into you. God, it’s going to be a race to the finish. You’re both so close but you’re worried you’re taking the lead. You’re doing all you can told hold it in. Fuck. You can’t stop. You’re gonna, you’re gonna—

“Fuuuuuck,” Mikey moans as you finally feel warmth coat your gummy walls. He’s writhing beneath you on the bed as he carries on moaning through each and every wave and spasm of ecstasy he’s feeling from marking your insides white with his seed. He grants you permission to arrive at the same demise. His eyes are closed, but he can imagine the pretty, fucked out faces you’re pulling as you lose yourself around his cock. He’s twitching inside you, if he wasn’t so fucking exhausted he’d definitely want to go for round two. He opens his eyes, finally, to see your sweat-drenched skin illuminated by the piercing orange light that signifies daybreak.

If he didn’t know any better, he’d think you were a Goddess.

You roll off of him, the pair of you panting wildly on your backs. You don’t look at each other for at least five minutes afterwards.

And he should have known.

He should have known it was all too good to be true.

It was phenomenal, he loved it. And you loved it, too. But there is a distinct look on your face as you finally deem him worthy of your eye contact. It’s guilt. For fuck's sake. You wanted this. You told him that you wanted to fuck. You wanted him to make you feel better. He did, didn’t he? So what is your fucking problem? What do you have to feel guilty about?

He’s panting. Christ, he thinks his lungs are collapsing. He runs. Sprints, in fact, to the nearest bathroom. He’s on his knees holding his own hair back as he clasps the toilet bowl with his other hand. Tears stream from his eyes as he can’t hold back the intensity this time. This is the most yet.

He can hear you doing the same into the bucket next to the bed. Endless amounts of poinsettia petals pouring from your lungs. They're doused in blood, too, and it’s the same for him. A foul concoction of biology gone wrong.

You fucked up, big time. You fucked Draken’s best friend. If you were struggling for a chance with him before, you’re in minus numbers now. There’s no chance, not a God damn chance you’re going to be able to win him around. You begin to cry out in anguish. Like the stems inside of you are trying to poke through your lungs.

“Oh GOD!” you wail.

Mikey wastes no time flushing away the evidence of his impending doom down the toilet and washes his hands. Once he hears you boisterously yell in agony once again, he sprints back to his room.

He holds you in his arms, rocking you, calmly, and lets you cry through it all. Is it the stabbing? He wonders. It’s killing him, too. But he can take it. He’d take it all from you, too, if he could.

“It hurts! Oh God, Mikey, it hurts. Please.” you bawl. He hushes you, soothingly, only making you sob more.

“I’ve got you, I’m here.”

“Kill me, please, I can’t take it! I’m going to die please just kill me!”

“I can’t do that baby, shush shh shh. I’ve got you, I’ve got you.”

© 2021 fuwushiguro

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[yenkat101]

Bsd dating headcannons Beast AU pt. 1

25 post event. 3/25 -pt. 2 (Dazai and Chuuya)

Characters: (Atsushi x you) (Akutagawa x you)

General: Headcannon

Text type: Pine point

Warning: mentions of hickeys

Master list

These images are not mine credits go to the owners!

Atsushi Nakajima

- unlike the original au Atsushi he would be way less flustered but still shy about the relationship

-I would see him as touchstrave as well because his childhood wasn't the best and he lacked a lot of physical touch that weren't harmful

-I would think that he would be very tamed around you when in a relationship but you could easily fluster the poor baby

-I would believe that he would not exactly be able to express himself so expect sudden acts of affection without an warning

-if you're in a relationship with him, he would be most likely the one in charge since Atsushi wants to protect you not the other way around

-I would see him like the type of boyfriend that comes home and needs affection because he had a long day

-I believe that he himself would get the courage to ask you out once he knows you like him too, so there's almost a 100% chance you would say yes

-I would suggest going on dates that are not too fancy instead calm and normal and not to formal like going on lunch dates, picnics, walk through the park, ice cream dates but he prefers walking in dark alley's holding you as he shows you breathtaking places

-I believe that he would be a bit hesitant with certain aspects and would rather take this relationship slow to not have the possibility of regretting something

-working with the pm with him, he'd be happy because if you're loyal to the pm and do your job they won't bother you. He'd be happy you could protect yourself even tho he protects you all the damn time

-I think he wouldn't exactly mind having you live with him because he could protect, yes he's obsessed with protecting the only light source he has

-trying to sleep in the same bed as him, not hard at all just he's in control in order for your wish to come true

-I would think that most of time Atsushi would be big spoon because he enjoys the feeling that's he's protecting you

-there would be times where he would be the small spoon on certain occasion like if he's afraid, had a nightmare, he's stressed or just need your touch in general. just grab him, pull him close, let his head rest on your chest while you play with his hair singing a light lullaby in his ears he would 100% fell asleep like an

innocent baby

-he absolutely loves comfort because of how touchstrave he is because of how mistreated he was as a child, so having a s/o that would baby him only a little gives him a slight idea of what a normal childhood is

-this boy really likes your praises like small head pads, kiss on the cheek, forward kisses, he will melt into your touch only in private, but in public, he'll let you get away with it while looking so intimidating... People in the PM are so terrified and confused on how you got away with it. Even Dazai was shock your still alive

-him jealous while in a relationship, he'll just come up to you and simply prove your his. May or may not leave some hickeys on your neck to prove a point. Let's just say he act as he's normal self but let's his hands wonder while maintaining his emotionless expression might even glare so frighteningly that the guy ran for his life

-if you think very lowly of yourself he would just tell you a bit about his past and how he thought the exact same thing about himself. but then he would tell why he doesn't feel this way now, he claims that you gave him the love he was missing and now he gives you love hoping to cause the same effect as it did for him

-he's a pretty decent chef but he would try to improve for you but if you make him something for him when he gets home he would know in your part was wholehearted love, you were representing to him

-I honestly think that Atsushi being a boyfriend in general with a healthy relationship, he would be very tamed, secretly caring, possessive and is extremely touchstraved

Ryunosuke Akutagawa

-unlike the Ryunosuke Akutagawa from the original au he would be at least less cold to you

-I would see him as touchstrave as well because his childhood wasn't the best and he lost he's sister

-I would think that he would be very comfortable around you in order to be dating

-I would believe he would be the type of boyfriend that would give you a little bit of

PDA because he doesn't want you to think he doesn't love you but gives you all his love in private

-if you're in a relationship with him, he would be most likely in charge because he needs to be in control because everything he knew is going down the drain. but you offering him control gives him ease that he doesn't always need to fight in order to be in control of his own life

-I would see him like the type of boyfriend that comes home late and worn out needing your affection immediately to relax himself in general

-I believe the only way he was able to ask you out was because the ADA pressured him to ask you out. Because it's a once in a lifetime thing to have Akutagawa love someone in a positive light other than Gin

-I would suggest going on dates that are not too fancy instead calm and normal and not to formal like going on lunch dates, picnics, even ice cream dates but he prefers midnight walks with you and a calm walk through the park

-I believe that he would be a bit hesitant with certain aspects and would rather take this relationship slow to not do certain things unless they are ready (like having a child with you)

-working in the ADA with him, he'd be glad that you can protect yourself and to have someone by his side as he tries to find his sister

-I think he wouldn't exactly mind having you live with him tho he pretends he hates it. because it is way easier to protect you and he gets to see you in general because just the site of you makes his heart do backflips even though he would never admit it

-trying to sleep in the same bed as him, don't get me wrong he loves you but he be very hesitant and flustered by the sudden proposal and might even refuse. But with enough asking and convincing he do it but he might not be able to sleep that night because you're so close to his face sleeping so adorably in his arms

-I would think that most of the time Akutagawa would be big spoon because he enjoy being the one in control and you being small spoon gives him a sense of he's protecting you, because you believe in his strength. he's really possessive in bed making sure you don't move a inch, so make sure you got all your needs done before going to bed with him

-he really loves when he would hold you in his sleep because he feels like he's protecting you and keeping you safe in his arms as if he's protecting a newborn baby from the world around him

-there would be times where he would be the small spoon only on certain occasion like him being harmed or sick or from nightmares because he's too weak to do anything and doesn't exactly like being small spoon but once you actually got him to do it he likes it a little. Like if he's sick or harm just lay down with him, let him rest on top of you while you play with his hair singing a light lullaby as his head rest on your chest and eventually he would fall asleep. Weak/Tired/Scared Akutagawa's sleeping face looks like a newborn sleeping with his mother after a good while of crying

-he does like you praising him but only in private, but he would absolutely prefer if you mean the praise. He prefers praises that came from the heart not just some random praises I just came out of your mouth because why not. he wants you to praise him and actually mean it

-jealous Akutagawa has no shame nor shyness whatsoever if he feels jealous because of some men hitting on you he would just quietly come to your side, place a hand on your waist to a pulling you up against him, clinging on to you while glaring menacely at the guy that thinks he even has a chance to get with you

-if you think lowly of yourself the first question is why, like why, was it him that made you feel this way, did he make you jealous or something, did someone say something to you? He wants to know so he could probably comfort you and tell you the truth that you're not what you say you are

-believe me or not I think that Akutagawa doesn't know how to cook in general because he probably thinks that cooking is a waste of time and simply eats packaged food because he's too busy researching of his sister's location but if he sees you enjoy home cooked food you'll try to learn a little something for you. but if you make him something especially if figs are Incorporated with the dish with tea as a side drink, just imagine him being totally silent while holding a hand over his mouth as he tries to hide his red face. he would 100% eat it for you

-I honestly think that Akutagawa being a boyfriend in general with a healthy relationship, he would be very shy distant, confused and is extremely touchstraved and he's very similar to the original AU but a bit more open to physical affection because of fear that he might make you feel worthless of his love or even you not believing he loves you

25 post event with (Atsushi x reader) and (Akutagawa x reader) 3/25.