#...just kidding. but don't take this seriously please

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

You and me makes three

(or four, or five ...)

Written for @steddiesmuttyseptember, week 4

Prompts: Breeding Kink & Vibrator

Rated: E

Words: 1,359

Tags: Omegaverse; A/B/O dynamics; Alpha Steve; Omega Eddie; Mates; Mpreg; Pregnancy Kink; Breeding Kink; Vibrators; Knotting; Possessive Steve; Jealous Steve

Notes: Set in the same universe as Whatever you want it to be

“Steve. Stevie, c’mon. Wake up, please.”  

Steve shoots upright with a sound that's half snore and half growl, bleary eyes scanning the bedroom for threats. Then, his nostrils flare and the feral snarl gives way to a disbelieving frown. 

“What, seriously?” he asks. “Again?” 

Eddie shrugs. The movement makes more slick ooze from between his legs. Maybe he'd be embarrassed about it, if Steve's pupils didn't blow up like that, or if his scent didn't spike like it does. Or if he wasn't feeling this desperately, mind-numbingly horny.

“Sorry?” he says. “I'd take care of it myself, but it's getting kinda hard to reach, what with your kid in the way.” 

Being pregnant is fucking bizarre.

Eddie has tried to approach it with an open mind, once the initial shock wore off and Steve assured him he wasn't going anywhere. But now, six months in? The whole thing just continues to weird him out.

Don’t get him wrong, he loves Steve. He’s the most perfect alpha and mate Eddie could've asked for. He’s going to make an amazing father to this kid. Which Eddie is sure will be adorable. He just sort of wishes he could skip the part where he needs to grow it in his own belly, being forced to put up with another hormone-induced ridiculousness every other week.

Hell, he thought the morning sickness was bad. Or the mood swings. Or the inexplicable cravings for salt and vinegar potato chips at three in the morning. But this most recent thing is well and truly taking the cake. 

Steve yawns and grumbles, and Eddie can't say he blames him. The kid isn't even born yet and here he goes, robbing them both of their much needed sleep because his body has decided they need to get it on at least two times a day or perish. It’s fucking stupid! 

Still, Steve folds back the covers, pulls open the nightstand drawer, and slips closer. Eddie sighs in relief when his mate's naked body slots into his from behind, already hard and pressing against his entrance, right where he needs it. Only a second later, the warm, solid weight of Steve’s cock is joined by something else, something smoother and colder, and the sigh turns into a low moan. Steve laughs softly and kisses his naked shoulder as the dildo hums to life.

What did he say? Best goddamn alpha in the world. 

“This is so weird,” Steve murmurs as he pushes in, the combined girth of his cock and the toy stretching Eddie wide open, his free arm wrapping around the soft swell of Eddie’s belly to pull him close. “This was in none of the pregnancy books.” 

“I know, ri-?” Eddie starts to say, but needs to stop himself for the chirp that bubbles from his chest. He feels deliciously full, the low vibrations of the toy sending shivers all the way down his spine, making little fireworks sizzle low in his abdomen. “Right? Seriously, what the fuck? You’ve knocked me up already, not like you can put ano- … another one in there.” 

Steve, who has just started rolling his hips in lazy circles, goes very still. For a few seconds, the only sound in the bedroom is that of the dildo still humming away.

“What?” Eddie asks when he still hasn't moved after a while. “Steve, I swear to God, if you've fallen asleep with your dick inside of me I'll-” 

“No,” Steve blurts. “I'm awake. It's just …” 

He pauses to clear his throat and fidget, and that is when Eddie catches the change in his scent. Earthy and heady and distinctly aroused.  

“Oh God,” he groans. “Don't tell me that does it for you!” 

“What?” Steve mutters, and Eddie doesn't need to see his blush to know it's there. “You gotta admit, the thought is kinda hot.” 

His hand finds Eddie’s belly, splaying over the round shape of it, and Eddie’s own cock twitches treacherously.

“Shut up, it's not,” he says, even as the familiar feeling pools at the base of his spine, hot and tight and urgent. Steve chuckles, pressing his face into the crook of his neck and scraping his teeth over the mating bite there. 

“Your scent says otherwise, baby,” he murmurs, and Eddie can feel his smile against his skin as another chirp escapes him. “Just imagine … me stuffing you with my cock? Filling you up with my come, knotting you so good that not a single drop escapes? Breeding you round and full with my pups? I wonder how many I could put into you.” 

“Oh God,” Eddie groans, baring his neck for better access and rocking his hips back as Steve finally, finally starts moving his cock and the toy inside of him again. “You're such a weirdo.” 

Steve laughs, picking up speed. “Takes one to know one. Maybe that's the reason you can't get enough lately. Why no matter what I do, you never seem to be full enough. Why I need to use this thing…” 

He pauses to push the toy in further, hitting that spot deep inside that sends sparks of pleasure zapping all the way into Eddie’s fingertips and toes. 

“... to get you anywhere near satisfied for a few hours.” 

“Aw, don't tell me you're jealous,” Eddie says. He tries to sound teasing but it comes out a lot weaker than intended. It's difficult, being smart while Steve is taking him apart in all the best ways. “You know there's no need to, right? Not with your baby in my belly and your mark on my neck. I'm all yours and nobody else's, alpha.” 

Steve growls at the word, his summer forest scent filling the room like a tangible thing, and that is all the warning Eddie gets before the toy is pulled out and he finds himself flipped on his back, Steve's cock still inside of him, Steve’s lips claiming his for a hungry kiss.

“Nobody else’s,” Steve repeats. The bed frame creaks under the power of his thrusts as he fucks Eddie into the mattress. “All mine, forever and ever and ever.” 

Eddie can’t say he minds the thought one single bit. 

*

“You’re so beautiful like this, have I told you?” 

Dawn is starting to creep through the blinds of the bedroom window, but Steve keeps running reverent hands over Eddie’s belly, eyes full of awe, and Eddie preens under the attention. 

“Don’t mind if you tell me again, big boy.” 

Steve purrs, pushing back Eddie’s sweaty fringe so that he can kiss his forehead and the bridge of his nose. “Absolutely breathtaking. My mate, carrying my child. I’m gonna put so many in you.” 

“Yeah, fine, whatever,” Eddie yawns, stretching his arms over his head and arching his back as well as he can. The movement makes Steve’s knot, still large and locked inside of him, catch deliciously. “Can we just try to make it one after the other? I like actually walking places instead of rolling. Call me old-fashioned, but it’s an ability I’m rather attached to.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Steve gives him a smug grin and rolls his hips. “There's another thing you're attached to right now, and that's my-.” 

Eddie slaps a hand in front of his mouth. “Ugh, you're such a dork. I hope the kid doesn't inherit your sense of humor.” 

Steve kisses his open palm. 

“I hope they inherit your everything,” he says, ridiculously earnest, and Eddie needs to bury his face in the sheets to hide the way his face ignites. 

“Whatever,” he mumbles at the pillows, ignoring how Steve’s chest quivers with barely concealed laughter. “Let's go back to sleep. Have you looked at the time?” 

“Says the one who woke me because he needed to get dicked,” Steve grumbles, but obediently pulls the covers over them, curling himself around Eddie. 

Silence descends over the bedroom, and Eddie loses himself in Steve’s soothing scent as he slowly begins to drift off again. 

“Don't listen to him,” he hears Steve whisper, just before sleep claims him. “I'm hilarious and he knows it.” 

A warm hand settles on his belly. 

“Sleep well. Can't wait to meet you.” 

More smutty September

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 49 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | season 3 | lesson 48.1 | lesson 48.2 | lesson 49.2

now...

it's CANON that he knows he can't cook

so why the fuck 😭

luke :(((( baby :((((((((

i'm glad simeon is finally opening up though. luke being able to event talk to simeon about (before simeon himself, mind you) this proves that he's more than mature enough to have conversations like this. i love seeing how much he's grown since the beginning of the game

didn't take a screenshot of this bc i can only post 10 pictures per post, BUT i'm glad the fact that raphael showed up out of nowhere wasn't glossed over bc why is he here ??? respectfully

this is why simeon don't talk to nobody 😭 y'all can't take SHIT seriously

but in all honesty i'd just shut down and stop talking bc i get overwhelmed easily

but oh luke...

i hope he takes this as a "hm maybe the celestial realm isn't as good as it seems, maybe things aren't just black and white" instead of immediately jumping to "no simeon's too kind to be a demon bc all demons are mean and they suck", but i feel like the devs are gonna go with the latter simply bc they love giving luke development and then ripping it away seconds later

(for context, the other response was something along the lines of "he really cried his eyes out, huh?")

regardless of how much luke has grown and matured, he's still a kid. like, a kid kid. they cry when they're upset, when they're angry, when they're throwing a tantrum, and when theyre confused and/or overwhelmed. i feel like the latter might be the case with luke, which is why i chose the "i'm sure he'll be ok" option

more on this here

they're making it sound like simeon is queer/trans and honestly...i'm here for it. but that's partially bc i fall under both umbrellas. i love projecting 🫶🏽

i do wish it were this easy to come out and have your family/friends accept you bc it was a doozy for me 🫠

ANYWAYS

angst. give me more. PLEASE

i'm just so so glad that he's actually opening up. in the past, it felt like every time we get a crumb of vulnerability, he'd shut back down and act like everything was okay. idk if it's because he's more comfortable in his identity and place in the world, or his place in mc and the brothers' life, but he's more prone to actually talking about what's bothering him. it makes me happy

...this makes me a little less happy

ik simeon his his qualms with the celestial realm, but all in all, he probably still sees the place as his home and the people there as his family

what if this whole arc ends with the celestial realm opening its gates to (certain) demons? what if the boys get to visit their old home for the first time in literal millenia? and what if they get to show satan around?

idk y'all i'm trying to be hopeful, but hope can only get you so far when it comes to this game 😭

development at its finest

not focusing on a way to "fix" simeon, but to help deal with the situation at hand despite and because of simeon's condition

...ig the angst could only last for so long. back to the nerdy shit

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[Spoilers below cut]

OMG IS IT HAPPENING OH SHIT I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED WATCHING THIS YET!!!

And now here's my live reaction:

Hey, wait a minute, yeah... where is Mr Puzzles staying anyway?

...uh Mr Puzzles, is this a bad time?

... no... I just... hmmm...

This reminds me so much of the YouTube Arc

AAAAAA THE FACE IS BACK... ahem sorry just Eye of Ra theory stuff

[*looks at my murder board and back to the screen*] ...do they know?

btw people have mentioned about the numbers on the board and I personally think it's a texture. Hmm, then again it could mean something so I'll try to see if I can figure it out.

OMG BOWSER AND JUNIOR I MISSED YOU GUYS

sorry Mr Puzzles, but there's unfortunately an audience for this

hey, kids can be terrifying

can I just say, these little bits of animation are so good!

correct me if I'm wrong but is that a new Mr. Puzzles face (animation)?

Hold up, is he in Karen's house?

HE IS

Karen, you should really upgrade the security of your house. First, Marty, and now Mr Puzzles.

somewhere deep down in my heart i still love you [yes, i did say this out loud]

Karen's kids my beloved ❤️ love it when they act like cute siblings

still the same SMG3 as always... uh, I mean it's totally not Three what are you talking about?

also I want to talk about my Ferris Wheel Wedding concept so bad

also pink…?

[*lays on the floor and zooms out of the room*] ok bye bye

LEGGY?!

[*ducktales theme song plays*]

damn those kids are fast bringing Mr Puzzles from 10 million to 39.7 million (why is that number so specific though, hmm...)

...oh ...oh ...now I feel bad what the hell

HE KEPT THE FLAG I KNEW IT WAS GONNA COME BACK IN SOME WAY

Mr Puzzles: "My ratings haven't moved?"

hmmm.....

please be the car please be the car YEAHHHHHHH

OMG HIIIIIIII

ok, the traffic scene got me lmao (i have no sense of humor anymore)

seriously tho how did he fit in that little car, but hey that's canon now

god I'm annoying but I just love this, found family my beloved ❤️❤️

Mario: "Do I join...?"

well, Mario, you did join Three back in the YouTube Arc (unintentionally) so this wouldn't be the first time...

WOAH WOAH WOAH

I seriously did not expect that, but it makes sense, I don't blame her having mixed feelings about this.

aww Mario and Four making sure Meggy's okay, family is found ❤️

Meggy: "Who does he think he is... thinking he can just roll up and ask me to join him-"

It's technically not out of the question Meggy, that's why we theorize

LEGGY 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

also I smell a redemption arc for Mr. Puzzles

well, Mr Puzzles, kids do deserve good stories and I'm sure they would've loved to know how you do things but looks like you picked that wrong your audience for that

NEGATIVE 1 STARS?!?!?!

oh hey Three :)

👀 "laughing stock" you say?

PFFT I was going to say, that was good cinematography

It's high noon...

wait, was that audio from AMPHIBIA? OH SHIT AMPHIBIA MENTION (timestamp 12:20)

hey remember what I said in my 'ONCE UPON A Ṕ̷̱E̴̺̽R̵̖̎̕F̵̢̗̈́̀E̴̞̍C̴͈̽T̶͓̘̈́ SMG4’ theory:

Every story, no matter how outlandish it seems, is grounded in reality.

The showdown is exactly how it played out at the end of the Meme Factory mini-arc, with the gun and everything!

"I thought we were friends." "You are not my friend(s) anymore."

oh shit OH SHIT

OH SHITTTTTT!!!!!!!

OMG WAS MY EYE OF RA THEORY RIGHT?!?!? HE'S RED AND EVERYTHING, JUST LIKE THE RED SUN DISK RA HAS OMG OMG

oooh that song at the end tho

damn Mr Puzzles really snapped. like, I know that's him breaking down, crying, but I can also hear it as insane laughter. he's broken broken...

....WHATTTTT

also congrats VerperrTea for your art making it to the credits, love to see it!!! 🎉

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

so uh, that was a lot to take in. It was good to follow Mr Puzzles in this episode. Love to see all the fanmade faces featured as well. Overall, a great episode! I'm surprised at how much it got me. Now that we know FOR SURE that WOTFI is coming, we're getting the little bits of clues we have put together. And the title did not lie, Mr Puzzles really did reach his lowest point. I also loved the bit of the channel acknowledging the "i want the old SMG4" fans.

Aw, my dear fellows, I'm just anxious but ready to see how Mr Puzzles will go all-out villain again. (please goop!4 please goop!4) I've checked the WOTFI website and nothing has changed so we're good... for now. Can't wait to see what happens next!!!

...what do you mean I have to wait a whole week for the next episode?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[deanthe]

Final Splatfest idea:

Past VS Present VS Future

One could argue that redoing an old Splatfest idea is rather disappointing for the final Splatfest, but I'd beg to differ; remember, the final Splatfests decide the fate of the future of Splatoon!

If "The Past" wins:

We'll get a singleplayer focused Splatoon spinoff game, taking place during the Great Turf War of the early 1900s. It will feature a very different gameplay style than the online games. Potential DLC sidestories will be added in the future, as well as a small co-op or online minigames.

If "The Present" wins:

After the developers take a well needed hiatus, Splatoon 3 will recieve three final holiday-sized content updates, as well as a small handful of bonus Splatfests and a single new one, all if this spanning across roughly 9 months. This will also continue Nintendo held Splatoon 3 tournaments for years to come.

If "The Future" wins:

Splatoon 4 will happen sometime before 2030 arrives, and will feature everything you'd expect from a new Splatoon game and more. The stories will focus on personal growth and development of characters new and old, as well as taking different story routes and getting different endings to set in stone the future of Inkopolis.

[mad-hunts]

AHH, it's almost midnight, so you all know what time it is... (don't worry i'm about to say what time it is, y'all LOL) it's cursed image time!! also, this grave is from the arrow TV show, tumblr, so please don't come at me —

but oh... look, it's barton at joker's funeral, you guys AHHH

[pa-pa-plasma]

one of the things that will always destroy me is people believing that good story = darker/more mature/more sexual. this belief has ruined so many stories that could have been amazing & has prevented almost everyone from enjoying other really good stories simply because the age range it's aimed at is one they believe can't have complex themes, characters, plot, etc etc. they don't believe they can be moved by something a publisher or studio decided is for kids & so write it off without even thinking about it. biggest curse of being a writer who actually loves stories & telling them is that literally no one else cares in the most pessimistic, higher-than-thou, capitalism brainrot way you can imagine. & it's all automatic. because that's just what you're taught.

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

A big thanks to @witchybitchybisexual who tagged me in this amazing 30-questions Golden Girls-themed game; I had a *great* time answering these! I look forward to reading everyone's answers (including yours, @witchybitchybisexual!).

I'm hiding all questions after #1 under a cut, because this got long haha!

1. How did you find out about the show?

Via another show I love -- Good Omens! Or, actually, via the amazing book that inspired it. One of the main characters, the demon Crowley, is a big fan of The Golden Girls; there's a great scene in which the forces of hell hijack one of Rose's monologues to send him a message while he's watching the show! I was in need of something new to watch at the time, and I figured if Crowley liked it so much, it was at least worth checking out. :)

2. One storyline you’d eliminate?

Hmm... probably Miles' witness protection program storyline? I don't mind it that much (it gave us some fun jokes and some memorable scenes!), but I feel like that was a turning point in Miles' character, and I just don't like the person he became after that turning point.

There was no question 3 here, so I made up my own! Hope that's not an issue :)

3. Best guest star/character?

Lynnie Greene takes the cake as the best guest star, for sure. I adore her and she played a phenomenal young!Dorothy. The second place goes to Dick Van Dyke, just because I love him in general!

As for the best guest character, I think the honour goes to Angela, Sophia's sister! She's absolutely hilarious and her comedic chemistry with Sophia is stellar. I also have to mention John Neretti from S6E23 What A Difference A Date Makes for being the best man in the series imho.

4. Character you most relate to?

Dorothy! My personality nowadays is a bit of a mix between Dorothy and Rose, I feel, but the Dorothy side is prevalent (and it was even more prevalent a few years back). I love reading and literature (and I enjoy learning about history, although I don't have her passion for it); I share her love for teaching (although I'm not a teacher); I was a great student in school, but not a popular kid at all; I'm level-headed and responsible, but I can be impulsive under the right circumstances; I'm very protective of the people I love; I'm Italian and was brought up a Catholic; I'm often the tallest girl in the room (I'm just a bit shorter than Bea Arthur was!) and I'm not attractive (not that Dorothy isn't -- but she is perceived as unattractive in the show), so I also understand her self-esteem issues fairly well.

I'm not as quick-witted as she is, unfortunately, and nowadays my outlook on life is more positive and easy-going than hers, but she's still the one I relate to the most.

5. Favourite character?

Blanche, although the other Girls are very, very close. I adore them all and I especially love to see them interact, but if I have to pick one, then it's Blanche. She's the one who surprised me the most! At the start of the show I kind of wrote her off as 'the man-crazy one', and that's as far removed from me as possible, so I didn't really focus much on her at the beginning. Then came S1E4 The Transplant, and then came her family issues, and then came all her memories of George, and before I knew it I was head-over-heels in love with her. Rue was masterful in how subtly she played her; she showed Blanche's depth as a character little by little, letting the audience peek behind the mask only for moments at a time, so when I realized I hadn't given her the attention she deserved, I was already in too deep.

6. Favourite story of a cast member?

Oh, so many good ones to choose from! The first one that comes to mind is Bea's anecdote about the time she was Tallulah Bankhead's understudy. The awe with which she describes her coming down the stairs is palpable -- but I mostly admire how she took Bankhead's mean comment and turned it into motivation. And Bea did get her 'coming down the stairs to thunderous applause' moment (more than once!), so her vow came true!

A fun one that involves all four main actresses is this blooper related to Blanche's Christmas gift to the girls, the 'The Men Of Blanche's Boudoir' calendar. Watching all of them lose their marbles over this prank is priceless -- it always puts a big smile on my face!

(Is this what you meant by this question? I wasn't sure!)

7. Which was the episode that got you hooked?

The pilot, lmao. It might be a cheesy answer, but it's true! I was immediately hooked from S1E1 scene one. Dorothy's incredible entrance got me.

8. You could wear one girl’s wardrobe for the rest of your life, who would you pick?

It's a toss-up between Blanche's and Dorothy's.

9. How many kids do you think they all actually had?

... this ask made me realize there are doubts about this, lmao. I've never done the math! Had to go check on wikipedia 😂

As far as I can tell, it's fairly set in stone that Rose had five children, of which we meet two (Kirsten, with two different faces 😂, and Brigit, who I assume is her youngest one).

It also seems reasonably certain that Dorothy had two kids -- Kate and Michael. I will say I've always thought Kate was much younger than she should have been in her appearances on the show, considering Dorothy was pregnant with her when she married, but maybe she just looked much younger than she actually was, I don't know.

Blanche is more complicated. We see both of her daughters, Janet and Rebecca, and in S3E3 Bringing Up Baby she mentions three sons, Matthew (also known as 'Skippy'), Doug, and Biff. In that same episode, though, she also says she's had four kids! I get where the disconnect comes from, haha. To be precise, her quote is:

"I have had four kids, I have never had a Mercedes."

This is just off the top of my head, but I wonder if she means 'I have had' in the sense of 'I have given birth to' here? This would imply one of her children is actually adopted (which is very interesting to think about!!). Since she directly mentions her three sons after this quote, I suppose our suspects are Janet and Becky. I'll have to give this some more thought, though -- for now my answer is that Blanche has five kids, and that 'four' is a continuity error on the writers' part.

10. Do you think the actresses would’ve gotten along with their characters if they met in real life? Why/Why not?

Interesting question! I think so, yes.

Dorothy and Bea seem fairly similar already -- as far as I know Bea was a big sweetheart, a private, gentle person, and Dorothy's a big sweetheart too. Plus I feel like Dorothy would have been respectful of Bea's introverted nature, and Bea would have been understanding and accepting of Dorothy's personal history (not to mention, she wouldn't have mocked her for not dating/for her appearance).

In all the interviews I've seen, Estelle seems very respectful and very fond of old people in general -- I think she'd find Sophia a riot! I seem to remember a clip in which she actually says she likes Sophia, so I feel pretty secure in stating they'd get along.

There's this famous quote by Rue in which she essentially says that she's similar to Blanche in everything but the fact that she's not from Atlanta 😂 so I feel justified in assuming they would have had fun with each other! Rue's stated that she felt an immediate connection to Blanche as a character, and that playing Blanche helped her gain more self-esteem and confidence, so I think meeting her in person would have had a similar effect! And Rue (being a very open, honest, compassionate person) might have helped Blanche drop her mask a little bit.

The only one I have an inkling of doubt about is Betty -- mostly because she'd run circles around Rose! But ultimately I think any 'mocking' would be gentle and affectionate, much like the Girls' jokes in the show. I think they would have liked each other -- and they could have bonded on their common love for animals alone!

11. What are your other comfort shows?

Apart from the aforementioned Good Omens, I'm also very fond of Only Murders In The Building, a really fun show about solving murders and found family that I wholeheartedly recommend. Derry Girls is another recent favourite. Oh, if you like cartoons too, I recommend Steven Universe, Hilda, and Avatar: The Last Airbender.

12. Headcanons? (Feel free to list as many as you’d like)

Oh, my god. I have so many and I'm for sure going to forget some. Let's see...

I've already said some time ago that in my mind Dorothy drives stick shift. Reasoning for this is that Italians (including yours truly, haha!) drive stick shift, and she's of Italian descent, so... she knows how to drive an automatic car, she just learned how to drive on a stick shift one (and in the streets of Brooklyn, no less!). Still on Dorothy: I think she has a very neat handwriting (she feels like the type of person who consciously decided to improve her handwriting at some point in her life), but she's prone to leaving ink stains on the page (and on her hands!!), especially when she's writing in a hurry.

Rose is really strong! Physically strong, I mean. I know she was a housewife for most of her life, but she was a farm girl first! Farming takes a lot of physical resilience, and that's the kind of strength that stays with you, I think. She's the one who lifts up the furniture when they clean (S2E12 The Sisters), and I don't think they'd let her do that if she couldn't handle it. Plus, remember that time she broke a whole ceramic cup with one bare hand (in S7E19 A Midwinter Night's Dream)? Yeah. I also subscribe to some mutuals' hc that she's autistic (although they'll be able to comment on it much better than I can, if they want to!).

Regarding Blanche, I really enjoy @\eeblouissant's hc that she has a permanent tan! She's from the South, she's lived near the coast for ages, *and* she's expressed an appreciation for sunbathing in the show, so it makes perfect sense to me. Also: she's a cover hog! In the show Rose is the one who admits to stealing the covers (in S2E5 Isn't It Romantic?, iirc), but I like to think Blanche is the worst offender. It's a good way to complete the Girls' trifecta of sleeping annoyances (Dorothy snores, Rose sleeptalks, Blanche steals the covers!), and I think it's thematically appropriate for her -- considering her Southern origin, I think she's more sensitive to the cold than Dorothy and Rose are, and she's always looking for affection, so...

Oh, regarding their sexuality: I don't have a marked preference for any of them, but I tend to think of Blanche as a bisexual with a lot of internalized homophobia. Rose is also bi, and somewhere on the asexual spectrum (and I have textual evidence for this!). @\hecatesbroom has completely convinced me to read Dorothy as a repressed lesbian, but I'm fine with people considering her bisexual too. I prefer queer interpretations of all of them, but I'm honestly fine with any take, as long as the strong (platonic or romantic) bond between them is preserved.

Most of my headcanons on Sophia are just traits borrowed from my grandmothers -- for example, I like to think that she started getting into gardening once she moved in with the Girls, and she's really gifted at it (like my grandma!).

13. What would you change (if anything) about the show/ characters if it was set in the modern day?

This is a really hard question to answer properly, because while the show is still very relevant to the present day, some aspects are so grounded in their time that a lot of things don't make as much sense when transposed into the future. For example -- would Dorothy end up marrying Stanley and staying married to him for 38 years if he'd gotten her pregnant in the 90s? Single mothers weren't exactly celebrated back then either (Madonna's Papa Don't Preach is from 1986), but they still had it much better than they did back in the 40s-50s -- and divorce has become much more accessible (and socially acceptable) in the past few decades. Would she have left him earlier? Would she have married him at all?

And what about Sophia? Being an Italian immigrant in the 50s seems different from being an Italian immigrant in the 20s -- there was a whole World War between the two, for starters. Would she still emigrate to the US? Would she even emigrate at all? How would she have survived the fascist regime in Italy?

Blanche and Rose are perhaps less grounded in their time. St Olaf is so absurd it might as well be the exact same in the present day (and dying in childbirth is unfortunately still too common, so it's not strange to think that Rose would be an orphan in any case), and considering how some people still think and behave nowadays, Blanche's biography and opinions seem plausible even when transposed 30-40 years into the future (at least to me). But still -- many of the issues they deal with were grounded in their time. Take Rose's AIDS scare: would she react in the same way in the present day, knowing that care for HIV patients has progressed so much?

To be fair, apart from all these questions, all of the Girls are still plausible (and relatable) characters from a modern POV; but society has changed a lot in the past 30-40 years, and I think a groundbreaking, socially advanced show like Golden Girls would necessarily have to change as a consequence. It's just in the spirit of the show! The core idea of four women sharing a life is still a perfect premise, but the problems the Girls face, their careers, their economic stability, their ideas on love and relationships -- there's a lot that could be different when transposed to the present day! I feel like this question requires much more space, time, and analysis to be answered properly.

One thing I like to think is that at least some of the Girls might have been explicitly queer if the show was set in the present day! Which opens up a lot of avenues for plot-lines and relationships :)

14. Which other Fictional Characters would you like each one of the golden girls to meet?

I have a storyboard in my notes for a little comic in which the Girls travel to England and meet Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens, so them, definitely 😂

Also, the Derry Girls! Check out this great crossover fic on Ao3 -- the chaotic energy is just off the charts, I love it.

15. Who were your favourite duo?

Oh, I can't choose. Any duo within the Girls. Their 1:1 interactions are all amazing, there's no way I can pick just one. I love the bond between Dorothy and Sophia, I love Dorothy and Blanche's chemistry, I love how fun and silly Blanche and Rose get to be together, I love the ironclad trust between Dorothy and Rose, I love Blanche and Sophia's love-(fake) hate friendship, I love the way Sophia hides her immense affection for Rose under a veil of humour and the way Rose sees right through it. I could write an essay on each pair of them.

15. Who should’ve got more 1:1 screen time with each other?

I'm pretty happy with the amount of 1:1 time each pair of Girls got with each other, actually! One of the strengths of the show imho is how well-balanced the interactions between the main cast are. If I really have to nitpick, I think I might have liked a couple of episodes specifically on Dorothy and Rose in the last couple of seasons; it feels like they interacted 1:1 less after S5, but that might just be me.

I also think the Girls' interactions with secondary characters and guests were well-balanced, in general; I can't think of any specific example where I wished for one of the Girls to have more interactions with a certain character.

... okay, there is one instance, but it's not really a matter of screen time, more of what happened during said screen time. I really, really wanted to see Blanche (with Rose as support) tear into Stan. I think we deserved a scene where she tells him off for the way he treats Dorothy -- she's already pretty caustic in the show when it comes to him (except in S6, for some reason...), and a proper confrontation would have been glorious.

16. Calmest season?

Is there one? 😂 the first season, I guess? It feels a bit more 'domestic' and contained in scope, likely because it was the first -- but it's still a wild ride!!

17. Most chaotic season?

Season 3, for sure. It's a bit all over the place, and it contains some of the wildest premises in the whole series -- I mean, Bringing Up Baby? Letter to Gorbachev? Mister Terrific? I could go on -- there's lots of chaotic episodes in there! (Just to be clear: I love the chaos! S3 is not my favourite season, but it's still great -- and it's got some amazing episodes!)

18. Favorite Season?

I think the honour goes to season 5! It would probably be S6, if not for the whole 'Dorothy falls back in love with Stan' plot line. S7 is the one that contains the highest count of favourite episodes for me, but I think S5 is stronger as a whole, and it's got some true gems.

19. If the girls hadn’t had their established careers, what other ones could you picture them doing?

Oh, let's see! Stan mentions Dorothy always wanted to open an antique shop back in S1E11 The Return of Dorothy's Ex, and I think that really fits her. I can also see her as a (very passionate) librarian! And, of course, she'd be great as a college professor / history researcher.

Despite the Girls' lack of confidence in her ability to keep things alive, I think with proper training Rose would work well as a nurse. She already volunteers for the hospital, she can be competent when given the chance, she's a giving person, and she loves taking care of people, so I think she at least has the right attitude for it -- although I'd never place her in a stressful unit, especially at the start of the show! Apart from this, anything to do with animals, of course -- a zoo, a farm, a pet shop, she'd excel in all of them!

I can see Blanche thriving as a trophy wife, haha 😂 but that's not properly a career, so it's not a valid answer. Taking her keen artistic eye into account, I think she'd be great as a designer -- either a fashion designer, or an interior decorator. She also showed some talent and interest in psychology during the series, although I'm not sure she'd manage to remain completely professional as a psychologist. 😅

As for Sophia, I think she'd do well in any position that allows her to be a motivator! She's great at encouraging people through a bit of tough love, and she's a very driven person herself -- so I think she'd do well as a manager of sorts, although the kind of manager that still works hands-on too. I believe she'd manage to hold her own in more or less any field; she's very adaptable! I do think she's at her best in a kitchen, though.

20. Best aspects of the show in your opinion?

There's a lot! The writing, the performances, the costume department, it was all exceptional. I think the best aspect to me is the premise, and how seriously they took it! The idea of a show centered on four older women living together is groundbreaking, especially since it didn't make a mockery of them -- the Girls are serious, well-rounded characters, with full lives, written with lots of love and respect. I think this show really convinced me that life isn't over once you hit 30, and that there's plenty to look forward to as you age! A lot of people my age are terrified of growing older, and here I am, eager to see what's coming next -- and I owe at least some of this attitude to this show. I'm really grateful!

21. (This question is for my fellow cheesecake lovers) favourite cheesecake flavour?

:) Great question! I love cheesecakes in general, but I'm especially partial to raspberry cheesecakes.

22. Storyline you wished they had expanded upon?

The show has an unfortunate tendency to introduce characters and then forget about them, which allowed for more variety in the stories they chose to tell, but I would have liked to see some of the Girls' relatives and friends return! Like, I don't know -- Jean, for example, or Blanche's nephew from back in S1. Some of the guests' arcs are complete within their episode (as happens eg for Lily, Rose's sister), but others remained a bit 'in the air', and I think it would have been nice to see them again.

Oh, and also -- I would have liked some little references to the Girls' issues and problems outside of the episodes they're tackled in! References to Blanche's pacemaker, for example, or to Rose's addiction, or to Dorothy's CFS (or her hearing aid!!). I understand that the time was limited, but even a small callback or two would have been nice!

23. Questions you’d ask the actresses?

Does 'will you marry me' count? 😭

I'm not sure -- knowing me, I'd probably be unable to utter a word in their presence! Rather than ask questions, I think I'd just thank them for bringing such an incredible, wonderful show to life. It wouldn't have been the same without them.

24. Episode that brings you the most comfort?

Most of them, really. Even the sad ones; I hear the first few notes of the opening theme and my spirits are already lifted. I can pick one per season, if that's alright:

S1E25 The Way We Met

S2E17 Bedtime Story

S3E3 Bringing Up Baby

S4E4 Yokel Hero

S5E23 The Mangiacavallo Curse Makes a Lousy Wedding Present

S6E26 Henny Penny -- Straight, No Chaser

S7E23/24 Home Again, Rose

But honestly there's so many more I could mention! I just love these ladies so much and I love to watch them in situations, haha.

25. Episode that made you laugh the hardest?

This is a cruel choice! Golden Girls is infamous in my house as 'the show that makes the-eclectic-wonderer howl with laughter', and I think that speaks for itself 😂

Let me pick at least three: S2E4 It's a Miserable Life, S7E2 The Case of the Libertine Belle, and S7E4 That's For Me To Know.

26. Which other work that the actresses did you enjoy the most?

I believe most of Estelle's career prior to The Golden Girls was in the theater, so I'm not sure it's even possible to watch her other works, unfortunately.

Show me Bea Arthur singing literally anything and I will be on my knees in seconds. Her musical performances are peak. Also -- I still haven't watched Maude, but I already know I'll love it.

Maude includes Rue as well -- I cannot wait to fall in love with her as Vivian too! And I have one of her early movies in my watch list, although I'm waiting for the right moment to watch it (homegirl plays a stripper and I'm not sure I can handle it in company without making a fool of myself, considering my big gay crush on her).

As for Betty -- Life With Elizabeth, absolutely. She's so funny and so beautiful and so captivating in it! She's simply charming, I love her to bits.

27. Best St Olaf Story?

The Great Herring War from S1E25 The Way We Met, no question. It's not necessarily the strongest from a comedy point of view (although it's certainly up there -- it's hilarious!), but the context and the way Dorothy and Blanche contribute to it make it the most memorable one, imho. It's my favourite, for sure.

(The story of Gunilla Bjorndunker, St Olaf's tallest woman, as told in S6E3 If At Last You Do Succeed is in second place).

28. Best slut story?

It changes every time I hear one, lmao! I love all of Blanche's stories!

If I must pick one -- I really enjoy Blanche's retelling of that time she realized she was even more devastating by moonlight in S1E25 The Way We Met, if only for that incredible final line ("It was at that moment I realized my bosoms had the power to make music!"). I'm not sure if it counts, because it's so brief, but her involuntary remembrance of that time she had to call a cab to get home because the sailor she hooked up with wouldn't wake up (S2E17 Bedtime Story) always has me in stitches -- I love how unexpected and effective it is!

Oh, and I'm really fond of the one she tells her mama in S3E25 Mother's Day. I'm very sensitive to the theme of loved ones getting older and having trouble remembering stuff, so that whole flashback hits close to home for me, and I love how Blanche's story helps her and her mama connect over shared memories. It's really touching (and Rue's acting is spectacular).

29. Best Sicily story?

Sophia's alleged encounter with Pablo Picasso, as narrated in S6E24 Never Yell Fire In A Crowded Retirement Home: Part 1. I somehow didn't anticipate the punchline, and I lost my shit when Sophia name-dropped Picasso. I still lose my shit every time I listen to it. It's a classic.

30. Which girl would you be most interested in seeing a prequel of? And at which point in their life?

I would pay dearly for a young!Dorothy show. It might be depressing (because her life with Stan was... well... yikes) but also imagine -- Dorothy learning how to be a mom, her life at college, building herself a life... so many possibilities!!! And it would be even better if it featured some flashbacks to Sophia's life in Sicily!

I would enjoy a show about teenage Blanche's adventures, too, but a part of me thinks those stories are at their best when retold by Blanche herself (ie when there's a good amount of doubt as to their veracity, lmao).

[existennialmemes]

Listen Kids, you think you're sick of a meme because you've seen it a dozen times?

Back in My Day™

you couldn't go five minutes without seeing or hearing a reference to the Dick in a Box video. And not just online. It was everywhere.

You'd walk into a store and you'd hear it playing over the speakers. You'd get on a bus and the driver would start singing it.

You'd approach your computer and BAM there was the box, and we all know what's inside.

[cranetreegang]

They never explicitly state it in game, but after playing it 6 or 7 times and observing Ominis, I'm pretty sure the devs intended for him to be gay. What do you think of this? :)

*sips my copium tea*

Provide me the facts.

Otherwise, be gone! Let me live in my fantasy IN PEACE!

if anything, i think Ominis and Anne got a lil something going on if ya know what i mean

LOL 🤣😅

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

oh my god i'm so in love with all the fic ideas you talked about, but especially the last two with the castles kidnapping matt in like a friendly and well-meaning way. it's so funny to me and also the dynamic here would be absolutely excellent. never realised i needed a pro-crime hyper-competent maria castle in my life but apparently i do???

the dynamic in those, but especially the christmas one, is fucking hilarious. i love it so much. i'd write it tomorrow if i had the time

like the castles are treating this like one of those times where you pick up a puppy out of a cardboard box in a kmart parking lot and like, it's a little scrawny and underfed and feral and yeah, it probably would have been smarter to pick one out of the shelter where at least you know they've been checked out and have their shots and everything, but you know, the kids wanted one so bad and it's christmas, and it's cold and the poor thing's probably going to freeze to death in the cardboard box, so you bring it home, and suddenly it's in these new and unfamiliar surroundings and it keeps trying to skitter out the front door every time it opens, so maybe you have to keep it in a back room or tied up for a while and you hand feed it treats until it stops trying to run away and like, you know eventually the puppy's going to warm up to you as long as you treat it right and when that happens you'll have a happy new member of the family that you can probably shove felt reindeer antlers on for the family christmas card

meanwhile matt's treating this like a fucking kidnapping

[rapha-reads]

My mother cheating on my father with a guy 30 years younger than her and when we tell her it's disgusting and unacceptable she tries to justify herself like "Oh, this is so Christian moral and catechism puritanism from you" and "This is the patriarchy that's talking".

.... Are... Are you trying to justify your CHEATING on your husband since 1990 on feminism and freedom? ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT, YOU WILL. She thinks she's not in the wrong because, what, fuck her Christian education and she's a woman, she can do anything she wants ? Is she FUCKING KIDDING ME???

YOU CHEATED, YOU ARE CHEATING, YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING FOR MONTHS, YOU FUCKING JERK.

You hurt your husband, you threw him out of the house, you hurt your children, you think you can come back to my father's village? Your youngest daughter is TWELVE, and you're hurting her so much she's bottling everything in so well she could win an Oscar already, AND YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS OKAY AND YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG OR MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE ?

What sort of fucked up imaginary world are you living in that cheating is acceptable. For heaven's sake. She had the galls to tell me "adultery is banal, it's ordinary, everybody is doing it, it's not serious; don't be so dramatic". *screams* Hi, hey, if everybody is jumping off the bridge, are you going to jump too? Have you not PAID ATTENTION? Wars, murders, catastrophes have been done because of CHEATING, it is not a MODEL, it's a warning!!! Wtf, wtf, WTF.

I'm tired, I'm so tired. I have a thesis to write and I can't bring myself to work because my mother is throwing away all her life, acting in a shameful and unacceptable way, and disrespecting her family. My grandfather and my uncle and aunts aren't aware yet, but when they learn, oh boy, they might jump in a plane for Morocco to go yell at her.

Anyway. I'm having a real bad time these days and my only solace, my only salvation, are my sisters and my brother.

[dtaegis]

Tae my beloved every time I come onto your blog and see your header I can only think of Bingiplier

is it because mark of ipliers and j of hopes are both korean 🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐

[makerofmadness]

I thought it was over but of course not. Every time I see a post on my dash about this ship starting harassment (on BOTH sides, everybody sucks here and you should all be ashamed) it takes away any semblance of motivation I was starting to get to get back to reading and translating the katfl novel (and motivation already comes and goes with me, hyperfixation stuff. This just makes me want to stay away from Kirby until things finally calm down again, though)

Can someone get the Kirby of Disappointment image out, I feel like it's warranted here, Kirby would not be proud of us

[queenlucythevaliant]

Since I'm missing being on my college min worship team right now, here's another funny story. Let me tell you about my friend, let's call her Portia.

So my college min is/was pretty small. Like, 25 people on a good night. So our whole worship band was was this guy I'll call John on the acoustic guitar, by dear friend Portia on the drums, and me singing. Worship rehearsal mostly consisted of John (who was in charge) trying to make sure we all knew what we were doing while Portia did her absolute best to try and make me laugh. I did my best to ignore her, since goofing off during a music rehearsal isn't really in my nature, but I'll admit that I failed more often than not. I've always giggled really easily.

Portia's antics involved everything from imitating a cello or organ line for some of the classic hymns and throwing in various "sing it church" and "this is what we believe" ad libs during the more contemporary ones to singing along in the deepest croaky bass she could manage to straight up poking me with her drumstick from time to time. She also really liked to mess around with the lyrics to the songs.

One week, we were singing "I Surrender All." If you don't know, there's a verse that goes like this:

All to Jesus I surrender,

Humbly at his feet I bow,

Worldly pleasures all forsaken,

Take me, Jesus, take me now.

It's sung very solemnly and sedately. Portia found this hilarious. By and large this isn't a song about death or the second coming, so why is this line here? "Why is it phrased like that?" Portia wanted to know. "Why, midway through this good little Reformed hymn, does this one line suddenly sound like what a fire and brimstone Southern Baptist says when he's about to do something reckless?"

She started messing around and put that verse together with "I'll Fly Away" in sort of a medley singing those lines in this really dark, sort of RP, almost chant-like sort of voice, then switching abruptly to "I'll Fly Away" in her best Southern Baptist voice.

Perfect posture, hands together in a prayer gesture: "Worldly pleasures... ahhhhl for-sah-ken... 🙏 Tehhhk me Jee-sahhs... Tehk me nowww" 🙏

Abruptly starts jumping up and clapping her hands: "Iiiiiiii'll fly away! Oh glory! 👏 Iiiii'll fly away! 👏 (IN THE MORNING) When! I! Die! 👏 Hallelujah!! By and by! 👏 Iiiii'll fly awayyyyy!!! 👏 👏

I'm really not doing the bit justice, it was hilarious. I was laughing uproariously. Even John, who was usually Above Such Things, seemed to be entertained.

So we pull ourselves together, finish rehearsal, and then later on the actual Large Group gathering arrives. "I Surrender All" is like third on the setlist. We sing two perfectly normal hymns ahead of it.

We sing the first verse and chorus of "I Surrender All," and then we get to The Verse. And you guys. I completely lost it.

At first, at the beginning of the verse, it was just a little giggle that could have maybe been ignored, but by the time I got to "Take me Jesus, take me now," I was doubled over laughing, completely unable to sing, red in the face and gasping for air. Next to me, both Portia and John were completely stoic.

And then Portia pokes me with her drumstick.

Now, none of us had ever been disruptive like this during Actual Large Group before, but I guess Portia figured that the situation was already out of control and she might as well make it worse. So yeah, she poked me, and I whipped around still laughing and fell on the floor.

I got up, still laughing, and through my laughter and, by this point, tears, tried to apologize into the microphone.

"I'm... 🤣😂🤣 so sorry.... 🤣🤣 at... 😂😂🤣🤣 rehearsal..." I managed to get out.

"Do you need a minute?" asked our campus minister.

Portia leaned forward over her drum. "Sorry Luke. It was my fault."

[acacia-may]

Sweet Like Cherries

Description: Finesse excitedly prepares to welcome a long-wished-for child amidst a frenzy over the impending birth of the future heir to House Vaude. Never one for the spotlight, she wishes that everyone would stop fussing over her and worrying so much--particularly her husband whose concern for her grows only stronger the longer she is on bedrest. It's a relief when she receives a surprise visit from her level-headed sister-in-law who offers her light-hearted and affectionate sympathies as the only other person who truly knows what it's like to be pregnant and fussed over by a concerned and protective Vaude boy 24/7! Vanessa admits, however, she'll never really understand what it's like to be married to Langris. Finesse is not sure she fully understands it herself yet, but she has never doubted how much he cherishes her.

Not all love is fanfare and fireworks. Some love is quiet and steadfast showing up in the smallest every day things--sweet like cherries. 

Rating: T (for one bad word but really this is nothing but fluff)

Warnings: One (1) bad word but this is all fluff otherwise (and honestly kind of silly so please don’t take it too seriously!)

Fandom: Black Clover

Genre: Domestic Fluff, Family Fluff, Friendship, Babies

Relationships: Finesse Calmreich/Langris Vaude established relationship, Finesse Calmreich & Vanessa Enoteca Friendship/Family, Finesse Calmreich & Finral Roulacase Friendship/Family, Vanessa Enoteca/Finral Roulacase established relationship, Langris Vaude & Vanessa Enoteca Friendship/Family, Langris Vaude & Finral Roulacase Brotherly Relationship (A/N: look at my boys actually getting along...sort of...)

Characters: Finesse Calmreich (POV Character), Langris Vaude, Vanessa Enoteca, and Finral Roulacase

Word Count: 5087

Link to original post on AO3. Please do not repost to another site.

Note: This story was originally posted to AO3 exactly one year ago today so I'm posting it to Tumblr for its anniversary! 🥰

Story Below the Cut. Thank you for reading!

“I didn’t know what to bring you…I thought about bringing the kids but that would really just be bringing you a headache,” said Vanessa with a wink and a laugh as she took a seat at Finesse’s bedside.

“I would’ve loved to see them,” Finesse answered with a slight smile. “It’s been so long. I bet they’re getting a lot taller.”

“Taller. Louder. Crazier…harder to corral,” Vanessa joked, then reached into her bag and pulled out some papers. “They sent these for you.”

Finesse smiled as she looked through the brightly colored drawings. “How sweet. They’re lovely.”  She stopped on a picture of several flowers, and Vanessa peered over at it.

“I think that’s your garden.”

Finesse sighed glancing over at the vase of wilting lilies on her bedside table. It was nice to have a bit of her garden with her, but she missed being able to visit it herself. It had been so long since she had been out in her garden—or out of the house.

Vanessa tilted her head almost knowingly and sighed. “How are you holding up?”

Finesse felt a blush rise in her cheeks. Vanessa’s intuition was always so strong—as if she was a mind-reader rather than just a string mage. “I’m alright,” she reassured her with a slight smile as she rubbed her hand across the curve of her stomach. “And so is the little one.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” said Vanessa with a smile. She tilted her head slightly. “I’m sure it’s not easy though. I’d go crazy cooped up in here if I were you. We’ve been wracking our brains trying to think of something to bring over for you, but the best I could think of was company. Are you sure there isn’t anything that you want?”

“That’s very sweet, but I don’t…” Finesse began to protest, but Vanessa cut her off.

“Maybe a food of some kind—something you don’t have in the house?” Vanessa paused and rolled her eyes with a chuckle. “What am I saying? I’m sure you have every food imaginable in this house.”

Finesse stifled a laugh covering her mouth with one hand while she pressed the other to her stomach. Based on the amount of movement, she thought the baby must be amused as well. The thought brought a smile to her face that reached her eyes.

“I bet he’s kicking you all the time now,” laughed Vanessa. Finesse nodded.

“Do you want to feel?” she asked almost sheepishly as she held out her hand to Vanessa. When Vanessa had been expecting, she had always been kind enough to let Finesse feel the movements of her niece and nephews. They were memories Finesse cherished fondly, and she was very happy to be able to return the favor. 

Vanessa smiled. “Of course.” She leaned in closer as Finesse pressed her hand to the spot where she could feel the baby’s feet, and said, “Hi there, kiddo. It’s your Aunt Vanessa. I’m your cool aunt…well, actually, I’m your only aunt, but I’m the coolest. I might not be as great as an aunt as your mom is to my kids, but hey, when you get old enough I am going to teach you all kinds of cool stuff—like how make cocktails, do shots, recover from a hangover. I’ll teach you all about wine too—white, red, rosé, ”─the baby kicked─ “Oh, nice choice. You’ve got good taste. Just don’t tell your dad…he would have a heart attack,” she teased, and Finesse laughed aloud, unable to stifle it.  Vanessa looked up at her with a smile.

“What foods has the baby been wanting these days—well besides wine of course?”

“Um…well…” she blushed but shook her head. “Nothing in particular.”

“Oh,” said Vanessa narrowing her eyes. “Mine wanted all kinds of crazy stuff. Unfortunately,  none of them ever wanted cheese. It’s my favorite food, but I couldn’t stand the stuff when I was pregnant.”

Finesse patted her stomach considering herself lucky that the baby liked her favorite food, vegetable soup, well enough. She sighed. “Um…Vanessa? Can I ask you something?”

“Sure. Shoot,” she answered with a shrug and sat back in her chair.

“Um…when you say your kids wanted all kinds of crazy foods, were any of them ever…” she stopped. “If they weren’t your favorite, were they…someone else’s? 

Vanessa narrowed her eyes. “Like whose? Like Finral’s?”  She shook her head with a shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe. His favorite food changes almost every day—he’s very indecisive. I’m sure you’ve noticed,” she added with a laugh. “Why? Are you really craving cherry tarts or something?”

Finesse’ cheeks felt hot, and she pressed her lips together staring down at her hands. “More like cherry anything…I’ve been dreaming about them…” she admitted sheepishly. Vanessa laughed loudly and brightly, and Finesse couldn’t help but laugh a little herself. Vanessa had that effect on people—she could make anyone feel at ease.

“Why didn’t you just say something?”

“I don’t know…I felt…embarrassed…and everyone is already so worried, I didn’t want to burden anyone by asking for something special. Besides, cherries are out of season.”

Vanessa smiled. “I’m sure Langris would travel all the way to the Heart Kingdom to get you cherries if you wanted them. They’re in season all year there. Plus, I think he’d be grateful to have something to do, and you’d probably get a little peace. I’m sure he’s driving you nuts with all that nervous energy.”

“No, not at all,” Finesse shook her head. “He’s been very attentive…but he hasn’t been sleeping…” She sighed pressing a hand to the curve in her belly. “I’m worried.”

Vanessa patted Finesse’ hand reassuringly. “Don’t worry. Men are just like that--especially these two. I’m pretty sure Finral always slept less than me when I was pregnant—which is saying a lot since our kids are basically nocturnal and always moved around like crazy in the middle of the night. Not sure if that’s comforting or not…” she joked, then sighed. “I tried to be understanding with Finral—his mother died in childbirth so the whole experience was hard on him. I’m sure it’s a similar thing with Langris. Your health is delicate, and he has always been a nervous wreck over it—and with this happening so suddenly and you on bedrest and all, it makes sense he’d be worried.”

Finesse sighed. He always had been so worried about her and her health—making sure she was getting enough water and rest, checking to make sure the house wasn’t too drafty, and calling the doctor at the slightest hint of danger—it was the main reason he had given for not wanting to have children, completing ignoring the fact that producing an heir to the House of Vaude was the whole purpose of their arranged marriage in the first place. Though Langris had always cherished and loved her, he always kept her at a safe distance, afraid of what a pregnancy and childbirth would do her already frail constitution. Meanwhile, she watched as her brother and sister-in-law welcomed three children. She loved hearing the alabaster walls and marble halls filled with children’s laughter when her niece and nephews would come to visit and longed for children of her own. However, she was always too shy to press the issue too far with her husband, who, insisted he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something happened to her because she was carrying his child. Needless to say, her pregnancy hadn’t been planned—probably something that just added to Langris’ stress. “I know. That’s why I didn’t tell him…I just didn’t want to add anything else to his plate right now. The cherries just aren’t that important.”

Vanessa’s violet eyes were so kind as she tilted her head. “Well, I don’t think he’d agree, but you don’t have to worry about him. I’ll get you some cherries.”

“Oh no, Vanessa, I couldn’t…” Finesse protested, but Vanessa’s smile just widened.

“It’s no trouble for me. We’ve got whole jars of preserved cherries down at the restaurant. If Charmy doesn’t have any back in the kitchen, I know I’ve got several at the bar—more than enough to spare.”

“Vanessa…” Finesse began to protest, but Vanessa cut her off laughing as the baby kicked and jabbed at her hand which was still pressed to Finesse’ abdomen.

“The baby’s excited! It’ll be his first gift from his Aunt Vanessa.”

“Well…thank you…so much!” exclaimed Finesse. She patted her bustling belly. “From both of us.”

Vanessa laughed and teased with a wink, “You’re lucky your sister is a bartender.” 

Finesse smiled but sniffled. She blinked her watering eyes rapidly not knowing what had come over her all of a sudden.

“Oh!” exclaimed Vanessa. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” sniffled Finesse. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure it’s just the baby—not your fault,” Vanessa reassured with a kind smile. “But if you want to talk about it…”

Finesse blushed but feeling a bit bold she said, “It’s just…you said you were my sister…do you really feel that way?”

“Um…yeah,” Vanessa admitted with a shrug and a kind smile. “You’re family.”

Finesse wiped her eyes. “I always wanted a sister, and I think of you as one. But um…I just wasn’t sure…” she paused. “When you and Finral got married, I was…worried…” her voice began to trail off and her cheeks turned pink, but Vanessa patted her hand reassuringly. “I’m just so relieved that you don’t hate me.”

“Hate you?” repeated Vanessa incredulously. “Are you crazy? You’re the nicest person ever. Nobody in their right mind could hate you. Besides,” she teased. “Langris would kill them.” Finesse laughed lightly which turned into a slight cough before she continued.

“It’s just…after everything…I thought you would resent me,” she sighed with flushing cheeks. “We weren’t together very long, and of course, it didn’t work out between us but…if you loved him when we were engaged…”

“I didn’t,” answered Vanessa. “Not then--not like this. I wasn’t like Langris. That boy pined after you for years but stepped aside so you could marry his brother. Even though things didn’t shake out that way, if someone was going to resent you, it would be him, but he loves you, so…” Vanessa shrugged, and Finesse’ face flushed. Even after all these years of marriage and a child on the way, to hear it said so forthrightly made her blush a little. She saw Vanessa stifling an affectionate laugh which faded into a compassionate smile. “If anything, I should thank you. I mean, you’ve spent enough time in this place to know how awful it must have been for them to grow up here—how they must have suffered—Finral and Langris both. You were the one good thing in Finral’s entire miserable childhood, the first person who ever encouraged him and genuinely cared about him—and he loved you for it. I could never resent that.” Vanessa squeezed her hand, and Finesse sighed with relief.

“Also, I know you’re the one that broke things off with him so I guess I owe you one,” teased Vanessa with a wink. She laughed. “To tell you the truth, I’m really just glad you have no hard feelings against me. I mean, you ended up married to Langris.”

Finesse stifled an affectionate laugh behind her hand. “He’s really very sweet actually…” she said as her cheeks turned a bit rose.

“Alright…I’ll take your word for it,” Vanessa chuckled and winked at her. “But I’m not sure it’s worth living here in House Vaude—is it? I mean the Lord and Lady must be driving you crazy—what with you carrying the future heir and all.”

Finesse shook her head. “Langris tries to keep them away from me--tells them I need my rest. Liliane was in here yesterday, but just to pick out some things for the nursery and to ask me about you.”

“About me? Why?”

“I think having the Princess of the Forest of Witches as a daughter-in-law gives them some bragging rights among the aristocracy,” she answered thoughtfully. “More than just having the king’s grand-niece as one.”

“Great…so I’m their trophy now? I married the son they disowned--does that never come up?” Vanessa huffed and rolled her eyes. “I can’t stand these people.”

Finesse stifled a laugh at her honesty but admitted, “They’re…definitely difficult to like sometimes...”

“You’re giving them too much credit,” Vanessa huffed with a shake of her head. “Given where they grew up, it’s amazing Finral and Langris turned out as well as they did,” she sighed. “I mean they’ve both got their issues, sure, but it could’ve been way worse. House Vaude is a mess…I can’t believe they were fighting over which one of them got to run the place at one point.”

“Well, I suppose it’s not their fault they were born into it,” sighed Finesse sympathetically. “We can’t choose family.”

“I guess that’s true, but we married into this shitshow so what does that say about us?” Vanessa teased with an exasperated sigh, and Finesse laughed breathily. “Don’t tell Langris I cursed in front of your kid…” she joked giving Finesse’ stomach an affectionate pat. Then she sighed thoughtfully. “I guess, it’s not entirely fair to throw you in there with me since you didn’t have much of a choice in the matter—with the arranged marriage and all.”

“That’s not entirely true,” she admitted shaking her head. While, yes, she had been caught in the middle of years of drama at House Vaude due to a betrothal arranged by her grand uncle, the king, and Lord and Lady Vaude, in the end…

“Hmm?” Vanessa hummed.

“Well, it’s just… Langris offered to break off the engagement,” answered Finesse her cheeks feeling suddenly warm. “After he was reinstated as the heir, I mean. He said, he didn’t want me to feel like him and his brother were passing me back and forth like some sort of toy. He told me he only wanted me to marry him if I wanted to. That’s when I asked about why he had stepped down as the heir in the first place—stepped aside for his brother—and he told me it was for me…because he thought he couldn’t make me happy but Finral could.” She blushed still genuinely moved after all these years. “He said he gave it up because he wanted me to be happy.”

“He really is such a tsun isn’t he?” laughed Vanessa. Finesse chuckled as the baby’s feet fluttered in her belly. “I think the little one agrees,” she added patting Finesse’ stomach. “He knows him so well already.”

Finesse chuckled breathily. “He always kicks when he hears Langris’s voice. I mentioned this to him so now he’s taken to reading aloud to him sometimes—though mostly just whatever he’s working on so a lot of reports.”

Vanessa raised her eyebrows. “You sure you don’t have hard feelings?”

“None at all,” said Finesse with a smile. “I think things worked out for the best in the end. I know you don’t believe in fate all that much, but I like to think it was meant to be this way. Even if it took us a long time to get here, I like to think that we’re all happy.” She returned Vanessa’s wide smile before rubbing her hand across her stomach, “And I’m very happy that this little one will have a wonderful aunt and uncle and lots of older cousins to play with.”

“And a younger one,” said Vanessa as she smoothed the skirt of her dress and pressed her hand to the slight curve in her abdomen it had been hiding. Finesse gasped.

“What? Really?”

Vanessa shrugged. “Yeah. Number 4—total surprise, and I’ve started to get huge already...” she sighed as she framed the small but definite bump with her hands. “Don’t ask me how far along I am…I might cry,” she joked.

“That’s wonderful news! I’m so happy for you.”

“I know it doesn’t look like it but it’s still early. We haven’t really told anyone yet. We didn’t want to take any attention away from you. Not sure that we could what with you carrying the future heir of the Noble House of Vaude and all…no pressure though,” teased Vanessa. 

Finesse gently stroked the curve of her belly. “I have a feeling it’s a boy, but it could always be a girl. I would be happy either way, and Langris says he’ll be happy as long as both the baby and I are healthy and safe.”

“I bet the Lord and Lady would be particularly agitated to hear that. If you have a girl, they’ll probably start hounding you about trying again. I’d be worried that would kill Langris though…” Vanessa teased.

“Oh, he said we are never doing this again,” chuckled Finesse lightly. “If we have a girl, we’re just going to leave the House to one of your sons.”

“Let’s hope that the Lord and Lady won’t still be around by the time he’d have to take it over...” Vanessa crossed her fingers. “Nothing personal, but I hope you’re right about having a boy—especially since this is a one-shot deal,” she teased.  

Finesse smiled but sighed. “I wouldn’t mind… having more than one…” she admitted quietly as a blush rose in her cheeks. “But I don’t think my body could handle it…” her voice trailed.

“Or Langris’ psyche…” joked Vanessa trying to lighten the mood, but her face softened as she reached out to place a comforting hand over Finesse’. “I’m sorry. I know that must be hard for you.”

“That’s okay. I’m just glad we’re having this one,” she said with a soft smile as she patted her stomach. Her smile widened. “Though you’re very blessed to have so many.”

Vanessa laughed. “I can’t imagine my life without them...but it is pretty chaotic sometimes,” she joked affectionately. “You know, you can always borrow some of mine for awhile if you want to know what it feels like to have a big family.” She winked before resting a hand on her middle with a sigh. “4 kids is a lot…”

“4? I thought you had 3?” questioned Langris appearing in the doorway: a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a stack of files in the other. Finesse smiled and pressed a hand to the place where the baby started kicking excitedly at the sound of his voice. “You’re not honestly thinking about adding another one are you?”

Vanessa shrugged. “Too late.” She smiled and patted her stomach, “Surprise.”

Langris sighed and shook his head. “My dumb brother…I am going to smack him…”

“Pretty sure this one’s on me…” admitted Vanessa rubbing her hand across the slight curve in her belly.

“Oh…gross…” huffed Langris rolling his eyes. Vanessa laughed as Finesse stifled a chuckle that turned into a cough.

Langris turned towards her with a start. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she reassured with a smile. “Just laughing too hard. I’m so glad Vanessa came to visit.”

“Well as long as it’s not too much for you,” said Langris—his demeanor softening as he took a seat. “The doctor says you need to rest and shouldn’t push yourself too hard. If you’re too tired, just tell her and she’ll leave.”

“I’m okay. Really. Please don’t worry,” said Finesse reaching out to pat Langris’ hand reassuringly. A blush filled his cheeks.

“You tsun,” teased Vanessa affectionately ruffling a hand through his hair. Langris wriggled out of the way though his blush deepened.

“Stop that,” he huffed as he patted down his hair trying and failing to fix it from the unkempt mess Vanessa’s playfulness had turned it into. Finesse covered her mouth with her hand and tried not to laugh.

“You’re no fun, Langris,” teased Vanessa draping an arm around him. “And goodness are you uptight!” She gave his shoulder a friendly squeeze. “You carry stress in your shoulders just like Finral. You need to relax…” Langris squirmed away from her with a huff.

“Get off of me,” he snapped, red in the face as he tried to regain composure. Finesse smiled—she had always found this awkward side of Langris somewhat endearing. “Just because my brother doesn’t worry about you…”

“Oh no, he does. He worries about you and Finesse too. He’s been losing sleep over this…” She gestured towards Finesse who stared down at her hands.

“He has?” she asked guiltily.

Just then, as if on cue, a sparkling portal appeared in the wall and Finral stuck his head through.

“Hey, is everything okay?” he asked.

“Hello, Finral. It’s good to see you,” said Finesse with a smile.

Langris huffed at him. “What are you doing here? This is not a party.”

“Well, when Vanessa didn’t come home, I started to get worried that something was wrong.”

Vanessa sighed gesturing to Finral. “See…” she said proving her point, but she smiled reassuringly. “But he’s fine. Don’t worry.”

“Worry? What do we have to worry about?” he repeated visibly agitated. He turned towards Finesse. “Is everything really okay with you and the baby?” he asked. Finesse nodded, and Vanessa sighed.

“Yes, Finral, everything is fine. Don’t worry.”

“What about you?” he asked turning his attention to her.

“I’m fine too,” she said, and Finral sighed in relief.

“Ah, I’m glad. And the baby?” he stopped abruptly—seemingly remembering that Finesse and Langris were there. He gasped and covered his mouth with his hands. “Oh! Oh sorry, I…” he looked from them to Vanessa before smiling almost sheepishly. “Well…we’re um…”

“They already know….” Vanessa interrupted, and Finral tilted his head.

“Huh? You told them without me?” He almost pouted before Langris lightly smacked the back of the head. “Ow!”

“That didn’t hurt, moron,” huffed Langris. “Now get out. She needs rest. All this excitement is bad for her and the baby.”

“Lady Finesse or Vanessa?” asked Finral earnestly, and Langris threw up his hands.

“Both of them!”

As the brothers continued their concerned bickering, Vanessa sighed and rolled her eyes, turning towards Finesse with a teasing smile, “Let’s run away together. Leave these dummies to calm down.” Finesse laughed as Vanessa added quietly, “You know now might be a good time to mention those cherries. It might help if they had something to do…”

“Oh…um…well, okay…” Finesse whispered unsurely, but Vanessa winked at her.

“Hey boys!” Finral and Langris stopped their heated discussion to turn to look at her. “Finesse was telling me earlier that she’d really like some cherries.”

“Cherries? I can get cherries,” answered Langris immediately.

“Well…I can I help. I can get cherries too,” added Finral.

“I am perfectly capable of getting cherries for my wife, Finral. You have your own wife and kids, why don’t you get them cherries?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Right. Okay,” he answered nodding. “Vanessa, do you want…?”

“No,” she cut him off. “But you’re going to have to go with Langris. They’re out of season here so you’re going to have to go to the Heart Kingdom to get them. Go get ready to leave. I’ll be right there to stay with the kids. Keep the portal open for me,” she said giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

“Right, yeah. Langris, I will be back to get you,” he called before disappearing. Langris waved a hand almost dismissively at his brother as he focused his attention on Finesse.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay if I go to Heart Kingdom? With Finral’s portals, it shouldn’t take too long.”

“You really don’t have to do this…” she insisted placing her hand over his.

“No, I want to,” he said gently with a kind smile that reached his eyes. “I will be right back.” With a gentle smile, he tenderly pushed a piece of hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. Finesse felt the blush rising in her cheeks even after all of these years as their child fluttered excitedly inside her—like butterflies in her stomach. He really was very sweet, she thought. 

“Aww…” sighed Vanessa affectionately. Abruptly, Langris pulled away from Finesse and bristled—his face turning a deep red as if he had completely forgotten their sister-in-law was there.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” he asked in the stiff voice he only used when he was embarrassed.

Vanessa shrugged. “Wouldn’t you rather me stay here until you’re ready to leave? I can take these…” she said reaching for the flowers Langris still had in his hands. “Go put your files away.”

“Right,” agreed Langris picking up the stack of files he had sat down on the side of the bed when he had come in. He gave them a curt nod before disappearing through the doorway.

“You didn’t have to embarrass him like that…” sighed Finesse though she smiled slightly.

“I know, but I only do it out of love and because it’s so easy,” Vanessa teased. “He’s very cute.”

“He’s very fond of you too—more than he lets on,” said Finesse as Vanessa replaced the wilted flowers with the bouquet Langris had brought with him. Finesse smiled–lilies from her garden, her favorite.

She sighed. “Are you sure it’s fair to ask him to go all the way to the Heart Kingdom just to get cherries?”

“I told you he’d do it, in a heartbeat, if you asked,” Vanessa said with a wink, and Finesse blushed.

“But why didn’t you tell them about the ones at the restaurant?”

“Why do you think?” she laughed. “With any luck, their little adventure will help them get out some of that nervous energy.” Vanessa shook her head rolling her eyes, but she smiled with an affectionate sigh. “Those dummies…”

She stood up and gathered her things but turned to pat Finesse’ stomach one last time. “See you later, kiddo.” She gave Finesse a quick, one-armed hug. “I’ll try to come back to visit soon. Maybe bring the kids next time…”

“I’d like that,” said Finesse with a smile. “Tell them I miss them and send them my love.”

Vanessa smiled, but before she could respond, she was interrupted by Finral sticking his head through the portal again.

“Vanessa, do you know where I left that map of the Heart Kingdom?” he asked somewhat frazzled.

“I didn’t know we had a map of the Heart Kingdom...” Vanessa sighed. “Hold on, I’ll be right there and help you look.”

“Okay, if you could hurry…that would be great. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep this open…,” he chuckled awkwardly.

“Okay just a few more minutes.”

Finral fidgeted a little but sighed. “Okay, but I’m running out of mana reserves, and I still have to take Langris to the Heart Kingdom.”

“Hold on.” In a swift motion, Vanessa turned and threw her arms around his neck kissing him full on the mouth. Finesse gasped and covered her mouth with both hands in surprise and embarrassment, but before she could look away it was over. Finral blinked rapidly—dazed and confused like Vanessa had hit him on the back of the head. Vanessa, however, seemed unfazed. “Better?” she asked.

Finral managed a nod as he tried to catch his breath. “Ye…Yeah…” he choked. “Take as much time as you need…” Vanessa smiled and ran an affectionate hand through his hair before he disappeared through the portal again—red in the face. 

“Sorry,” Vanessa turned towards Finesse whose face flushed in embarrassment. “I’m not sure how Langris is, but Finral’s mana reserves are tied to his mood. He just needed a little boost to get them to and from the Heart Kingdom--he’ll be fine. But still…I probably shouldn’t have kissed him like that in front of you…or anybody…”

“You kissed my dumb brother in my house?” huffed Langris exasperatedly, appearing in the doorway. “Ew…”

“Just be glad you didn’t have to see it,” joked Vanessa with a wink. 

“Shouldn’t you be going?” he asked.

“Yeah, why don’t you just come with me? You can take off for the Heart Kingdom from our house—save Finral another trip over here. He’s depleting his mana reserves already with all these portals. I wouldn’t want you to get stranded.”

Langris sighed and conceded. “Alright.” He turned to Finesse. “Please take care of yourself while I’m gone, and if you need anything, contact me with a magic item or ask Vanessa or the servants or somebody for help.”

“I will be fine. Please don’t worry about me,” said Finesse, who feeling a bit bold, pressed her palm to Langris’ cheek. She took his hand and pressed it to her stomach where the baby was kicking and smiled. “We’ll be waiting for you when you come back.”

There was such a gentleness to his face when he gazed down at their hands, and he met her eyes and smiled at her with such tenderness, her heart could have melted. They weren’t a particularly affectionate couple--both rather shy about their feelings and neither of them touchy-feely like Vanessa especially not in front of other people. They were never going to be the type for grand romantic gestures, but it was moments like these—the subtle, everyday things, like a tender smile, a kiss on a forehead, a bouquet of her favorite flowers, or a trip to the Heart Kingdom to get the cherries she wanted—that showed how much they cherished each other. Finesse stroked Langris’ face with her hand. Then, she leaned in and kissed his cheek gently. “For luck,” she said quietly as Langris’s face turned bright red.

“Ah what do you know, they really are alike after all,” joked Vanessa. She winked at Finesse who blushed—knowing Vanessa must’ve picked up on a slight change in Langris’ mana.  

“Come on. Let’s go,” said Langris trying to sound curt though he was blushing furiously as he turned towards the portal. He said farewell and then stepped through the portal followed by Vanessa, who turned back to wave at Finesse with a wink.

“Hang in there! Soon you’re going to have every cherry in the Heart Kingdom.”

Finesse laughed. Surely, they wouldn’t bring back all the cherries…right? 

[yueebby]

Dying thinking about gojo literally pinning and hardcore simping for reader, literally showering reader in praise, flattery and gifts because he no longer gives a damn about hiding his feelings, almost proposing to reader whenever he can and reader's just... completely clueless about it💀 and she thinks it's just gojo being friendly. Poor man would be absolutely devastated when he goes one day "[name] i'm in love with you" and she just goes "me too, i love all my friends!" 💀

she loves me, she loves me not! — gojo satoru x fem!reader

contents. fluff, lovesick!gojo (what’s new), highschool!gojo, he’s pathetic but in love your honor, oblivious!reader, ooc gojo i got carried away soz

notes. anon, when i first read your ask i literally started giggling and kicking my feet. that. is. so. gojo coded.

“please reject gojo and put him out of his misery,” utahime implored, taking hold of both of your hands. you think she’s asking, no, begging you to. beside her, shoko nods vigorously. 

“but why?” you furrow your eyebrows, perplexed by their sudden request. “i can’t reject someone who doesn’t like me.”

shoko giggles at your comment. her laughter only wanes when she notices the dead serious look on your face. “... you seriously have no idea what we’re talking about?”

“not really,” you shrug, criss-crossing your legs to find some comfort on the hard wooden floor in shoko’s small dorm. it was late, past midnight, and the three of you had a shared mission tomorrow, but for some reason your two friends managed to rope you into their drinking circle.

utahime and shoko exchanged a significant glance, their unspoken communication raising your curiosity. utahime takes a long sip of her beer. 

“hopeless. they’re both hopeless,” your short haired brunette friend lamented, pinching her nose bridge. it leaves a faint pink mark.

intrigued, you lean in closer towards the two, “care to elaborate?”

“you’ve never once questioned satoru’s borderline inappropriate behavior?” shoko asks you earnestly. you ponder for a moment, trying to recall any moments in the two years you’ve known the snow-haired boy.

“satoru is satoru…” you mumble, shaking your head in denial. 

utahime’s eyes bug comically. she slams her can of beer harshly on the ground. you wince at the loud noise of the metallic can hitting the floor.

“you’re kidding. even i can see through that jerk!” utahime’s black pigtails sway wildly. 

“[name], how about what happened in shinjuku last week on our day off?” shoko quietly reminds you of last weekend when the two of you along with satoru and suguru decided to empty your pockets in one of tokyo’s largest entertainment wards. 

utahime’s head whips back and forth from her best friend to you, “eh? what happened?!”

from behind the dressing room curtain, you voiced your concerns, “shoko, i don't think we can afford designer clothes on our student budget.” the cream-colored silk dress you wore clung to your body, its price tag undoubtedly surpassing a year's worth of your student earnings.

“don’t worry your pretty little head about it,” shoko’s voice carried a knowing smile. “just come out and show me the dress!” you think satoru’s carefree attitude is rubbing off on her.

with a nervous sigh, you emerged from the dressing room. the dress fit like a glove, accentuating your body in just the right places.

bright flashes from shoko's phone startled you, and she chuckled deviously while rapidly typing. she tossed her phone onto a luxurious cushion, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of exposure.

“you look so sexy. even better than the model.” she gives you two thumbs up, eyes roaming your figure. you feel flushed at her praise.

“as flattered as i am, there’s no way i can afford this,” you look down at the dress, lips downturned. “i’d be in debt for life.”

“no need to worry,” shoko winked, leaving you confused. given that her income was similar to yours, it didn't make sense for her to be able to even dream of shopping designer.

a soft thud interrupted your conversation. you turn around to see a blue lollipop rolling on the expensive carpeting of the store.

“suguru, are my eyes deceiving me or is that an angel?”  satoru's mouth is wide open as he shamelessly checks you out. he takes one of his hands and places it over his heart, gripping the fabric of his white shirt. the windbreaker he is wearing rustles at his dramatic movement.

“i think… i’m experiencing a heart attack! shoko help!” he kneels in the middle of the store dramatically. shoko shares an unamused look with suguru. the pair nod before simultaneously kicking satoru.

during all of the commotion, you stand awkwardly in the million yen dress. 

“satoru, are you okay?” you watch him take the two blows from your friends, concern evident in your voice. he grunts softly before gently taking ahold of your hand.

“no,” he croaks with a playful glint in his eye. “i’m wounded and there’s only one way to fix it.”

you look at him, your gaze heavy with concern.

“i’m afraid you’ll have to kiss me for the pain to go away.” he added, blinking at you expectantly with his blue eyes.

 you lightly shove him away from you. “you’re an idiot.” satoru laughs loudly.

“that’s what love does to a man.”

“yeah, yeah. i’m going to change out of this dress, don’t get into any more trouble while i’m gone.” 

 satoru’s grip on your hand strengthens, halting your actions.

“how much?”

“excuse me?”

“the dress. how much for it?” he stands up to his full height, reminding you of the obvious height difference between the two of you. 

you're at loss for words. gojo was crazy, but definitely not crazy enough to spend a million yen on a silly dress.

shoko happily chimes into the conversation. “one million yen. it’ll be two million yen with the rest of my purchases though!” 

suguru’s calm demeanor is replaced with shock. the black haired male’s jaw drops, “two million– satoru, you’re seriously not thinking about–”

“hah? who said i’m paying for your stuff?” gojo makes an ugly face at shoko.

she raises her hands innocently, “it’s not my fault the dresses come in a set. if you want to see your beloved [name] in that dress you’ll have to pay for mine as well.”

you watch shoko and satoru engage into a silent argument. the tension in the fitting room section is so thick, you think it’ll take a special grade weapon to slice through it.

trying to alleviate the mood you tell gojo, “satoru, you really don’t have to–”

“i’m buying you that dress.” 

“o-okay.” 

half an hour later, satoru happily strolls out of the store with an arm around your shoulder like he’d just won the lottery.

perhaps gojo is just naturally flirty, you had tried to reason to shoko and utahime.

it’s been a week since the eye-opening conversation with the two and you’ve found yourself on cleaning duty with said snow-haired boy. it was a miracle that satoru even showed up. he had a tendency to skip his turns, often resulting in a long lecture from yaga.

as the two of you worked silently in the empty classroom, you couldn't help but admire the setting sun. its golden rays painted the sky with hues of pink and orange, casting a warm glow over everything. unknowingly, while you gazed at the sky, gojo's gaze was firmly fixed on you.

breaking the silence, he asked, "have you ever thought about getting married?"

his question caught you off guard, causing you to momentarily pause from wiping the windows.

“not really,” you replied, biting your lip gently. “unless my family decides to arrange a marriage. you know how unforgiving the world of jujutsu sorcery is.”

gojo's grip on the broom tightened, his eyes locking onto yours with a newfound intensity.

"we should get married y'know," he blurted out.

the piece of cloth you were using slipped from your hand in shock. surely, he couldn't mean what he was saying. after all, the two of you were only second years.

“what?”

“i’m saying i think i’m in love with you.”

“oh.” 

silence engulfs the room once more before a soft giggle escapes your lips.

satoru can only watch, entranced.

“that’s good to hear! i love you too– and suguru and shoko! perhaps the four of us should all just get married.” you chuckle into your hand.

satoru can't help but stare at your hand in envy. perhaps if he were the palm of your hand, he’d be able to feel the touch of your lips.

but he couldn’t. he was cursed as a man with an overpowered innate technique, and despite it all he couldn’t even gain the one thing he desired. gojo satoru watched you, eyes filled with a mixture of longing and defeat.

his devastation does not go unnoticed by you.

you were under the impression that he was grumpy because yaga had forced him into cleaning with you.

"cheer up, satoru! if we finish early enough," you continue, your tone highspirited, "we can go to the new crepe shop that opened last week. my treat!" you winked, and that immediately caught his attention.

“like a date?” his eyes sparkled with hope.

you shrug, a smile on your face. “i suppose if you look at it from a certain perspective…”

“great, it’s a date!” 

good things come to those who wait, satoru thinks, humming happily as he starts to sweep the room at an inhumane pace.

maybe in ten years time the two of you will be happily married with eight kids, he smiles to himself.