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winter-dayz · 9 months

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A Year Together

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader Inspired by Holidate (2020) Genre: Angst; Fluff Words: 5574 Warnings: mentions of excessive drinking, smoking, and drug usage; strong language; suggestive content

Masterlist | 12 Days of Ficmas Masterpost

Taglist: @soobin-chois

She stubbed out her cigarette, sprayed on some perfume, and huffed into the cold air, before gathering the courage to enter her childhood home.

“Merry Christmas,” she called, barely over a speaking voice, hoping no one heard her.

Her mother rounded the corner, displeasure written plain as day. “Finally.” She glanced over her daughter, eyes narrowing on Y/N’s hoodie and leggings. “This is what you’re wearing for Christmas dinner? Would it kill you to dress up a little?”

Y/N ignored her mom’s criticism, as she had for years, and looked around at the meticulous decorations. “The house looks beautiful.”

She hummed, motioning her daughter to follow her. “No thanks to you or your aunt. She brought a date, at least, unlike you.”

“Speaking of plus-ones…” Y/N’s older sister, Nayeon, cut in. She pulled Y/N to the kitchen. “Why didn’t you call Seungmin?

“I just wasn’t feeling it.”

Nayeon sighed, “It’s been six months. Eventually, you have to start dating again.”

“I mean who’s surprised no one wants to take her out when she just sits at home looking like that,” their mother snarked, coming into the kitchen.

Y/N’s eye twitched, the urge to smoke rising. “I work from home, Mother. My boss and coworkers don’t care if I wear pajamas. You know what they do care about? You constantly calling while I’m working.”

She ignored her daughter and leaned closer. “Are you still smoking? You’re going to die alone for sure then. No man wants a smoker who can’t be bothered to dress well.” Her mother scowled at her and left the room, Nayeon in tow.

Y/N rolled her eyes, throwing her drink back, and mumbled to herself. “And no man wants a bitchy mother-in-law either. So, I guess that’s three strikes.”

The rest of the afternoon and evening went exactly as she expected.

When her brother, Jeongin, arrived, he lightly taunted her about showing up alone again. His girlfriend, Chaeryeong, scolded him for teasing someone for being sad. Y/N insisted she wasn’t sad. Then Nayeon’s husband asked her why she didn’t just call Seungmin. She had tried to argue back but was interrupted by her mother calling everyone to open presents—Y/N received dresses from her mom that didn’t fit, pajamas from her sister that were definitely a regift, and a gift card from her brother. When Y/N managed to escape (finally) from the judgment of her family, she refilled her drink in the kitchen, and her aunt joined her.

“Isn’t he so fun?” Her aunt giggled drunkenly, nodding in the direction of her date playing with some of Y/N’s nieces. “He’s Santa at the mall this year. You’d be surprised about the kind of men you can meet there.” Y/N didn’t respond, not wanting to come across as judgy as her mother was of everyone, but her aunt sensed the hint of criticism anyway. “Calm down. I’m not gonna marry the guy. He’s my holidate.”

Y/N laughed lightly, “What is a ‘holidate’?”

“A date just for the holidays. No commitment, no strings attached. Just fun.”

Y/N hummed but didn’t get a chance to respond as dinner was announced to be ready. She wasn’t even surprised to find herself at the kids’ table.

“Could I have everyone’s attention?” Jeongin asked from the main dining room. Y/N stood from the kids’ table just in time to see Jeongin kneeling before his girlfriend. “Lee Chaeryeong…” Y/N felt her eyes widen, her head shaking no. Her baby brother couldn’t be getting engaged before her… “Will you do the honor of becoming my wife and marrying me?”

“Fuck no…” Y/N whispered to herself as Chaeryeong jumped up with an excited “Yes! Oh my god, yes!”

“Two down… One to go.” Y/N’s mother smiled at the young couple before flicking a snide glare to Y/N in the doorway.

🎄

It was in line at some store in the mall a few days later that she met him.

Chan had been trying to return khakis that were very much not his style, and Y/N was trying to return the dresses and pajamas she had gotten. They had gotten to chatting about their awful Christmases, when her aunt’s Christmas date recognized her.

“Have your aunt call me!” The man called out, Y/N embarrassedly pulling Chan away from the food court.

“So what was the deal with that?” Chan laughed goodnaturedly.

“He was my aunt’s holidate.”

“Wait, wait… A holidate? Like a date for Christmas, or does it work for all holidays?”

Y/N shrugged, “I assume all of them. But then again, my aunt doesn’t stick around with one man long so she might find a new one for Easter.”

Chan breathed out a laugh, “That’s what I need for New Year’s…”

“Why would you need a holidate?” Chan glanced over at her in confusion, and she shrugged. “I can’t imagine you’d really have that much trouble finding a date. You’re extremely good-looking. You seem sweet. Look pretty dependable… I mean, you have dimples for Christ’s sake! That’s every girl’s dream!”

Chan hummed, “I’m also a workaholic.”

“Oh…” Y/N nodded, “Okay, I get it.”

“And casually dating on the holidays…” Chan shook his head, “It just becomes a lot of pressure. People expect more than I can give them, especially once the holiday is over.”

“That sucks… Try being the only single person left in your family, though. I’m so fucking sick of the pity party and them trying to set me up.”

“I get why they do it though. They don’t want you alone on the holidays… We’re not meant to be alone. Humans need companionship, warmth… someone to drunk-mock strangers with at parties.”

“I do enjoy drunk-mocking strangers at parties…”

“Great, so be my holidate for New Year’s.”

A laugh bubbled out of Y/N, “I don’t even really know you.”

Chan stuck a hand out to her, a big grin with crescent eyes and dimples shining. “Hi, I’m Chrisopher Bang. I go by Chan, though. I’m a music producer. A perfectionist and workaholic. I have VIP tickets to the JY New Year’s party. Would you like to go with me?” When she hesitated, he pulled out a business card and passed it to her, “Think about it? There’s no pressure, no expectations. I mean…” He cleared his throat and darted his eyes away for a moment, “I don’t even find you that attractive so no worries there either.”

“Wow. I’m so flattered.” Y/N scoffed, snatching the card.

The tips of Chan’s ears colored red, but Y/N didn’t notice as she stared at his business card. “Just think about it and text me.”

Y/N hummed and shook her head, waving him off as she headed to her car. She would think about it, but she definitely wasn’t going to text him…

Well, she probably wouldn’t have. Except the next day her mom video-called her while she was working and proceeded to berate her for wearing another hoodie (even though she was just working from home and had no virtual meetings that day). After the berating was done, she moved on to trying to insist that Y/N go on a date with their new neighbor, Felix. It ended with Y/N snapping that she already had a New Year’s date and hanging up on her mother to make a new call.

She heard the smile in Chan’s voice as he answered, “Hello~ I thought I said text me, not call me.”

🎄

Y/N pointed out another couple from their balcony booth. “They’re for sure getting engaged at midnight.”

“You think?” Chan asked, sipping his fifth? sixth? drink. Y/N nodded, finishing her own and taking new glasses from a passing waiter.

At some point the conversation turned away from drunk-mocking strangers to their thoughts on romantic comedies.

“So who ruined love for you?” Chan asked, leaning in close so Y/N could hear him.

She shook her head vehemently. “You don’t really wanna hear about him.”

“Why not?” Chan shrugged, “We’re already on the topic… At least give me a name.”

“Minho.” Y/N swallowed the rest of her drink. “He was handsome and smart. I loved his dry humor, a bit mischievous. He was a dancer, sexy.” Y/N groaned in memory.

“So what happened? If he was so perfect…”

“We wanted different things. I wanted someone to bring home for the holidays. He wanted someone to fuck behind my back. So…”

“Oh damn… I’m so sorry.” Chan frowned, trying desperately not to sound like he was pitying her. He already knew she hated that.

Y/N shrugged, “It’s my own fault. My sister always told me to date down, but I didn’t listen… He was just too hot to be trustworthy…”

“Still sorry he screwed you over like that. No one deserves that.” Chan hesitated looking around, while Y/N simply hummed in thought. “I’ll be back in a few. Gonna run to the bathroom and get us new drinks on the way back. Sit tight, yeah?”

Of course, as soon as Chan had left the announcer began the ten-second countdown. Y/N looked around frantically, not wanting to be alone when they got to–

“Happy New Year!”

“I’m so sorry,” Chan huffed, running back through the crowd to her side. He glanced over to her and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. “Happy New Year.”

🎄

She was alone on a holiday again, save for her overflowing basket of candy. Even though New Year’s was fun with Chan—probably the best holiday she’d ever had—she couldn’t find it in her to call him again for another holiday. Especially Valentine’s Day.

“Y/N?”

She wished she had called Chan.

Her eyes widened, and she whipped around, truffle hanging out of her mouth as she ate from the basket she had yet to pay for.

“Minho? Oh my god! How’ve you been?” Y/N rushed to wipe her mouth clean as she came face-to-face with her ex-boyfriend.

Minho didn’t get a chance to answer since a young woman ran up and did it for him. “Baby taste this! Isn’t it good?”

He had a new girlfriend. A new, adorable, perfect girlfriend.

Lost in her self-deprecating thoughts, Y/N felt an arm slide around her waist. “Hey love, I thought we were gonna meet over by the little ice cream stand? You told me you wanted to try that new flavor.”

How was he here? Why was he helping her?

“Oh, hey there mate. I’m Chan, Y/N’s little boy toy. I’d love to get her to commit long-term, but she’s just so strong and independent. Fingers crossed though!”

“Stop it,” Y/N finally snapped out of her reverie and hissed under her breath to Chan as she fake nuzzled him. He covered it well with a laugh.

“Yeah, nice to meet you…” Minho smiled down at his girlfriend. “I’m Minho, and this is Tzuyu.”

“Cool, well did you get everything, love? I wanted to get you something from Victoria’s Secret. Let’s go,” Chan grinned secretively at her. A show for Minho, she knew. “Anyway, lovely to meet you both. All the best, bye Julie~”

“Um, it's Tzuyu!” They called back to Chan as he dragged Y/N out of the store.

She was dragged past the ice cream store he mentioned and the Victoria’s Secret, all the way to Chan’s car, as she continued to mumble about feeling sick. Finally, in the privacy of his car, she let out a shaky sigh and a single sob.

“I need a cigarette.”

Chan’s head ticked to the side, “You smoke?”

“Sometimes… Not regularly, just in high stress situations. Holidays are the worst…”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I thought about it but… I was embarrassed that nothing had changed since New Year’s. I’m still bitter and single.”

Chan laughed lightly, nudging Y/N to lighten the mood. “That’s the point of this whole holidate thing. We both get to avoid the pressure of a real relationship and the judgment of not having one yet. So… Let’s just make it official, yeah? Holidates until further notice?”

🎄

St. Patrick’s Day came and went smoothly. Chan and Y/N met up at a pub, drinking until all the green in the room began to blur together, and surprisingly ran into Nayeon, Jeongin, and Chaeryeong. None of them quite understood the arrangement the two had, but they were supportive of their sister getting out of the house, having fun, and letting loose.

After St. Patrick’s Day, Easter rolled around, and with Easter came a family brunch.

“Hoppy Easter, my little bunnies,” Y/N’s aunt strolled into the backyard wearing a Playboy outfit. She motioned to her own holidate, who was wearing a long white robe, “This is Jesús.”

“What in God’s name are you wearing?!” Y/N’s mom shrieked at her sister. “This is an Easter brunch; silly costumes are not allowed.”

As she spoke, someone came literally hopping into the yard wearing a full pink bunny suit, tossing candy-filled eggs to the kids.

Y/N choked on her mimosa at the sight. “Looks like someone didn’t get the memo.”

“Felix!” Her mother beamed. “I’m glad you could make it. Honey,” she turned towards Y/N, dragging a freckled, ball of sunshine with her, “This is our neighbor that I told you about.”

“Hello,” he smiled at her. His voice was deep—deeper than she anticipated—and sent a subtle chill down her spine. His freckles stood out, even against his lightly tanned skin, and his smile warmed her from the inside out. “I’m Felix… Sorry, I volunteer at the kids’ cancer ward and was doing a bit of cheering up. Came straight here… Wow, you are prettier in person.” Y/N blushed deeply, dipping her face to hide her grin. Chan glanced between the two. “Thank you,” she mumbled out at the same time that Chan piped in, “I’m Chan. Y/N’s date. Nice to meet you.”

“I’m so sorry, Felix. We weren’t expecting Y/N to bring a guest.” Her mother cut in, sneering down at Chan and Y/N.

The warmth Felix had brought drained out, and Y/N glared up at her own mom. “That’s odd to say since I explicitly told you that Chan was coming.”

“Um… I’ll go say hi to the kids. I have some more treats for them…” Felix excused himself, glancing between the staredown the two women were having.

“You see what you did!” Her mother hissed. “He’ll think you aren’t interested.”

“I’m not interested.” It wasn’t totally a lie.

Y/N’s mother fussed with her hair. “I just want you to find someone with real potential.” She glared over at Chan again. “I don’t want you continuing with this holidate crap. Do you want to die alone like your aunt?”

After remaining silent, her mother huffed and dispersed to nag at someone else. Chan waited a few minutes and then cleared his throat. “You know… Maybe you should actually give that neighbor guy a chance?” When Y/N simply stared at him like he was crazy, Chan continued, “I mean he has nice hair, freckles, volunteers with kids… That’s gotta be a dream guy, right?”

“I just don’t think I’m ready yet.”

“Hasn’t it been almost a year?”

Y/N pouted down at her crepes. “I mean… yeah,” she said softly, a bit broken. “Women take their time to process though. We don’t just dump and move on like men do.”

“To be fair, women can be brutal too.” Chan breathed out heavily, “My ex… I mean, my friend’s ex. She crushed him. Pretended to like his friends and hobbies. Started leaving things at his apartment until he just suggested they move in together. And it was great at first, or maybe she was good at pretending… They started exploring more things sexually and talking about the future. But then one day, she was just gone. All of the stuff she had left around was cleared out, her phone number was changed, and I was blocked on social media. I mean, my friend was blocked.”

Y/N looked over at Chan, really looked at him. He looked as broken in that moment as she often felt inside. She rubbed his arm lightly, and he gave her a sad smile. After a few more minutes, Y/N cleared her throat.

“So… what kind of sexual things are we talking?” She joked, trying to lighten the mood.

It worked, and Chan laughed loudly. “I am not telling you that.”

🎄

Much like St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco de Mayo was spent at a fiesta party getting blackout drunk together. This time without the interruption of Y/N’s siblings.

Several rounds of tequila shots in, Y/N finally asked about the “sexual things” Chan had explored before since he never answered at Easter. He just laughed her off again. A few more rounds, and some light flirting, and Y/N was taunting that he probably hadn’t even slept with anyone in a while and lost his touch. He corrected her that he had actually met some waitress at St. Patrick’s Day that he’d taken home. She downed her next drink after hearing that, not stopping to think about why it bothered her. More shots, more drinks.

And the next thing they knew, they were waking up in Chan’s apartments and promptly going their separate ways until Mother’s Day.

“Can we please not talk about my personal life for once?” Y/N questioned, sipping her drink, while Chan sat silently beside her eating brunch.

“It’s my day. I have a right to know what my only child is doing with their life.” Her mother snipped.

Y/N grumbled about her siblings, and her mother cut her off, “They aren’t single.” She spat the word like it was a curse. “I just worry about you… And you,” she turned her glare to Chan, “I don’t understand why you’re wasting my daughter’s time.”

“It’s not a waste. We’re friends, Mother.” Y/N defended immediately, and Chan perked up, glancing over at her with a small smile.

“You don’t need a friend. You need a husband. Or at least a life partner. You need someone legally bound to be there when you go through chemo.”

Chan looked worriedly, “chemo?” at the same time Y/N spat the word out.

Y/N’s mother turned back to her daughter. “Let’s not kid ourselves. You have bad genes, and you smoke. Bald women don’t get a lot of dates. You need a husband now.”

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about, Ms. L/N.” Chan interrupted, noticing how she curled in on herself. “Y/N is an amazing girl. Even bald.”

🎄

For Independence Day, Chan and Jeongin gathered fireworks and drove up to the lake cabin separately. Y/N met up with Nayeon, Chaeryeong, and her aunt to ride up: girls’ trip style. With the addition of her aunt’s holidate…

“What’s that smell?” Chaeryeong asked, sliding into the backseat beside Y/N’s aunt and her date.

Nayeon breathed deeply, “Is that marijuana?”

“It’s medicinal.”

“Don’t care,” Y/N laughed, “pass it over!”

Slowly but surely, the girls hotboxed Nayeon’s car, arriving at the cabin happily high. Upon arrival, they settled in with munchies while the boys ran down to the lake to start shooting off the fireworks, shouting excitedly while they did.

“What is it about men and explosives?” Y/N laughed, watching from the balcony as Chan gleefully shot off fireworks.

“It’s like jacking off.” Y/N’s aunt giggled back, “Men live for the orgasm. If they’re not fucking then they’re dreaming about fucking… Or blowing stuff up. It’s the next best thing to fucking.”

The girls burst out laughing, but petered off as Jeongin ran up frantically. He was shouting about a freak accident and how Chan shot off a firework and the kickback knocked him over and the explosion hit the tree and a branch fell on him and he broke his leg.

Which led to Y/N, miraculously the most sober person at the cabin, taking Chan to the hospital.

“All right, so it looks like you only fractured the bone,” the doctor said coming into the hospital room.

“Felix?” Y/N asked, confused.

“Y/N! Are you hurt? You’re okay, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine… I didn’t know you were like a doctor doctor; I just thought you volunteered.”

“Well, I’m technically still a resident. But I also volunteer in the cancer ward.” Felix smiled at her.

Chan glanced between Y/N and Felix as the two grinned shyly at one another.

“That’s so amazing… You’re just… Wow. Doing amazing things.” Y/N breathed out. (Maybe she was still a bit high).

“I’m just trying to help people,” Felix blushed. “Anyway, I was disappointed I never heard back from you…”

Chan couldn’t stand their flirting anymore. “You know what I’m disappointed about? This broken leg.”

“Ah, yeah, man… It shouldn’t be too long now. We’ll give you some pain medication and a prescription and make sure it’s set and cast properly. Then you can go.”

“Sounds good.” Chan smiled, although the grin was tight around the edges.

Later that evening, Y/N had managed to gather the necessary prescriptions, taken Chan home, and ordered him food.

“I’m sorry I ruined your Fourth of July…” Chan pouted at her, grabbing her hand when she turned away to leave.

She pulled away gently but moved to push his hair out of his eyes. “It’s no problem, Chan… Holidate rule number three: leave no holidate behind.”

🎄

The next holiday did not come as smoothly. Since Labor Day was also the weekend of Jeongin and Chaeryeong’s wedding, Y/N and Chan decided to take different dates.

Not that either necessarily wanted to, but neither knew that the other wanted to take each other. It was unnecessarily complicated.

Instead, Y/N brought Felix and Chan brought the St. Patrick’s Day waitress, and the whole event was awkward overall.

At some point, though, the two found themselves at the bar, and it went from awkward to horrible as they argued. But, their tempers were smothered upon finding their dates making out near the dessert table, and they both sighed and smiled sheepishly at one another.

“So you got any ideas for Halloween?” Y/N pouted.

“Already on it.” Chan shrugged, planning out matching outfits for the two of them.

On Halloween, Chan spotted Y/N first, calling her over with wide-eyes at the corset wrapped tightly around her. “I’m glad it fits… Perfectly, actually.” He eyed her pirate costume, gaze dragging up-and-down her body. He hadn’t anticipated how good it would look.

“Ahoy!” Y/N smiled and held a flask out to Chan, “Rum?”

The party, hosted by Jeongin and Chaeryeong, was going well. Y/N and Chan were having a blast with her brother and sister-in-law, along with Nayeon who had come out. It was fun… Until…

“Happy Halloween!” Minho cheered, heading towards them.

Y/N whipped around to hiss, “Who invited them?” Chan’s hands came to rest on her shoulders, giving a reassuring squeeze.

“I love the slutty pirate costume. Classic!” Tzuyu smiled.

She was being genuine, and Y/N wanted to hate her for it. Wanted to hate how genuinely sweet and pretty she was. But she couldn’t. Because at the moment, she was busy hating her for the obvious baby bump she was sporting.

“Um…” Y/N smiled awkwardly, “So, baby?”

Tzuyu’s eyebrows rose, “Oh, yes… Minho and I are expecting. Isn’t that great?” She looked so happy.

Y/N felt sick.

“Wow… Pregnant. That’s– that’s great! She’s pregnant everyone! Isn’t that great?!” Y/N babbled frantically.

“Alright, love, let’s go get another drink!” Chan interrupted, pulling her away with Nayeon following closely behind.

Once out of earshot, Y/N grabbed Chan’s hand. “I don’t feel well.”

“Do you want me to take you home?” Nayeon offered, but Y/N shook her head, insisting that her older sister enjoy her night out.

“I’ve got you. I’ll take you home.” Chan said. No room for argument. “Holidate rule number three: leave no holidate behind. Let’s go.”

Back at her apartment, Y/N rushed to the bathroom. She slid down to the floor, the panic attack pulling dry heaves out of her. Chan settled next to her after a few minutes, passing her hot tea to soothe her nerves and rubbing her back. She let out loud sobs and fell into his chest.

When she had settled down, he helped her up and into her bed. He moved to leave, but Y/N grabbed his hand, pulling him back onto the bed. “Please stay…”

“Are you sure? You’re really upset about this.”

“I’m upset that he gets to cheat and still finds love, and no one will love me. I’m upset that my mom is right. There’s something wrong with me…”

Chan’s brow furrowed, and his jaw ticked. “There is nothing wrong with you. You deserve love, and…” He paused, head tilting in thought slightly. “Someone will love you.”

She nodded and slid down into the blankets. Chan followed, curling around her and holding her close to him.

She’d never fallen asleep so quickly.

In the morning, Y/N woke up with Chan only a hair’s breadth away. He looked so soft. She reached up, finger tracing his pouty lips, but froze when his eyes fluttered open. His own hand reached up, grabbing hers and placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

As a small smile tugged on both their lips, Y/N leaned forward. Her hand slid over his cheek and into his hair while their lips met. When she started to pull away from the chaste kiss, his grasp tightened on her, and he pulled her back in for another. And another. And another.

Before either knew it, the October morning chill had turned heated. Their kisses turned into bites and licks. The gentle caresses turned into scratches and roaming hands. The early clouds turned into the midday sun.

And both flopped back onto the bed, exhausted and sweaty.

“Wow,” Chan breathed heavily, “So should we…”

As he trailed off, Y/N felt the panic rise again. “You can go if you want.”

Of course that’s what he would want. They were holidates, friends at best. He had said he wasn’t even attracted to her…

Chan’s smile, that she hadn’t noticed yet, fell. “You want me to leave?”

“I mean… I don’t want you to feel obligated to stay.”

“Why would I feel obligated?”

“Well, Halloween’s over.”

Chan’s eyes widened, brows raising. He nodded, “Right.”

“So… I’ll see you at Thanksgiving?”

🎄

“Are you sure he’s coming,” Y/N’s mom snarked, moving about the house to finish preparations. “I don’t want to put the leaf in if he’s not.”

“Yes, Mother. Put the leaf in. He’ll be here.”

“Well it’s all the way in the basement…”

“Mom–”

She didn’t stop walking, ignoring her daughter, “We could just use the piano bench somehow.”

Y/N snapped, “Put the goddamn leaf in!”

“Fine, no need to shout…” Her mother started to chastise but was cut off by the shrill of the fire alarm. “Oh no! The pies!”

Since her mother had burned both pies and several of the sides to a crisp, Y/N was being ushered to the store. As the door was pulled open, though, Y/N was met face-to-face with Chan.

“Hey?”

“Hi… I have to go to the store, if you want…?”

Hearing her mother fussing in the background, Chan grabbed her hand. “Let’s go.”

At the store, the two mostly shopped in silence, awkward chit-chat kept to a minimum, but eventually, Chan couldn’t take it anymore. “So are we really just going to pretend we didn’t have sex?”

“Sounds good.” Y/N smiled, albeit obviously fake.

Chan shook his head with a scoff. “Fine. But, for the record, I didn’t want to leave afterwards.”

“Sure,” Y/N rolled her eyes, “You didn’t even want to have sex with me. You told me you didn’t find me attractive, but sure. You definitely wanted to stay all day and talk about our feelings.”

“What did you want me to say?!” Chan snapped back, pulling Y/N to a stop. “I was some stranger in the mall. Did you want me to scare you off by telling you how beautiful I thought you were, even in your sweats. Did you want me to tell you that on New Year’s I ran away to the bathroom because you have these lips that just beg to be kissed. And on Valentine’s Day, I could see from outside the store that your eyes were filled with tears, and it crushed me. Is that what you wanted to know?”

Y/N felt her heart constrict, turning away to stare into a freezer. “No. I didn’t want to know that. In fact, I don’t want to know any of those types of things. You can relax and keep sleeping with St. Patrick’s Day waitresses all you want.”

“Wow…” Chan breathed out in disbelief. “You’re really trying so hard not to feel anything, huh? Well at least that makes you the liar and asshole and not me.”

Storming out of the store and leaving her alone in the frozen section, Y/N felt her heart crumble and eyes fill with tears. She wanted to scream and cry, but instead, she checked out and headed home, already anticipating the fight that would be waiting for her.

“Where’s Chan?” Nayeon asked as soon as Y/N walked through the front door alone.

“I don’t know…” Y/N whispered, moving to put groceries away and start helping to make some of the replacement dishes.

“I knew it!” Her mother called from the dining room. “No leaf!”

“What did you do, Y/N?” Nayeon sighed heavily.

Y/N whipped around, trying desperately to ignore the snide remark from their mother. “What makes you think it was me?”

“Well, honey, you don’t have the best track record.” Her mother chipped in again. Jeongin, having come in to get a drink, glanced between the two.

“Excuse me?! Minho is the one who cheated on me. Chan left me in the store.”

“Well maybe if you were honest with him…” Nayeon mumbled.

Jeongin shrugged one shoulder, “Yeah, if you just told him how you feel we could get through a holiday without your personal life being such a mess.”

Y/N started to argue back when her aunt’s holidate collapsed. The fighting promptly cut off, an ambulance being called, and Y/N somehow getting roped into the back with her aunt.

“You know… I barely even know him.” Her aunt whispered as they sat in the hospital waiting room. “I even had to write his name on my arm… And I know how sad it is; I know what everyone in the family thinks and says. It’s my own fault, too. I had so many opportunities with good men, kind men, who liked me. Loved me even… But as soon as they got too close, I ran away. Ran away and found someone who wasn’t good or kind. Someone who cheated, but was sexy and fun. And now I’m in my fifties, waiting in a hospital for a man I don’t really know…”

Y/N hummed, realization hitting her.

🎄

Inspired by her aunt, and a few very-much-needed therapy sessions, Y/N found herself outside Chan’s production company a week before Christmas.

Her chest felt tight, and despite the cold, her hands felt sweaty.

She could do it. She could confess. She just needed to walk in there and tell him.

“So… Are you going to go in, or just keep standing outside stalking me?” Chan’s voice came from behind.

Y/N spun around so fast she almost slipped on the icy ground, Chan reaching out to steady her.

“Chan! Hi. I just…” She exhaled heavily, breath coming out in a puff of steam against the freezing cold. “I just… I fucked up.” His brows rose, but his hands remained on her arms. She took it as a good sign and continued. “What I’m trying to say is that I’ve had more fun with you this past year than with any other loser I thought I was in love with. And I know I fucked it up because I was scared, but letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life… I miss you so much. So much that I even quit smoking and eating junk food all the time and drinking so much. You really ruined all my vices for me… Anyway…” She swallowed heavily, gaze traveling across his blank face to gauge his reaction so far, despite him not giving any. “You were right. I do have feelings for you. I thought I wanted a holidate, but the truth is that I just want you. For all the holidays. And the weekends… And weekdays would be nice too. I know I’m probably too late, but honestly, you’re the only one I’d wanna go through chemo with.”

Chan’s lips quirked into a small smile, and he stepped closer. He rubbed his nose against her freezing one and pecked her lips, pulling away just enough to say, “Yeah, why not… I bet you’d be hot bald.”

#stray kids #skz #bang chan #reader #bang chan x reader #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #angst #fluff #holidate #holidate 2020 #oneshot #ficmas

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