#501st incorrect quotes

[501st-rexster]

Incorrect CANON 501st Quotes

Fives: I have a myriad of things I like to do to drive Rex crazy.

Echo: ... Such as?

Fives: I like to turn the volume on everything to 19. Not to eighteen, an even number, and not to 20, a round number, but 19, because it's stupid and has no real effect other than making certain people go absolutely insane.

Echo: That's monstrous. I love it.

Fives: I have more.

Echo: *curiosity piqued*

Fives: Everytime I walk past him, I put a small mark on Rex's armor with washable marker right on his arm. He can never figure out where it comes from. It's childish but funny.

Echo: Yeah that one's pretty childish.

Fives: I often sneak into his quarters and I'll switch just a few things around. Like I'll move his lamp from one side of his desk to the other, and I'll switch his razor out with a different colored one, and I'll take the ink inserts out of all his pens, then I watch as he stands in his room and slowly breaks down. I used to switch out his caff for decaf, but... he sorta went comatose when I did that so that's the one I don't do anymore.

Echo: It's a miracle his sanity is still intact.

Rex, walking in with his eye twitching and his armor painted pink: I... am going to END YOU.

[bh-52]

Ahsoka's training incorrect quotes.

Anakin: Alright, Padawan I never wanted, your new training exercise will involve the troopers using you as cannon fodder, and stunning you even when you're down, and into a comatose state with high possibility of lifelong damage to your nervous system, as if you're Aayla being killed during Order 66.

Ahsoka, nervously chuckles: What do you mean by that?

Anakin, gestures: Open fire.

Galen Marek and Barriss Offee, walk in on dozens of troops shooting Ahsoka who collapses, and proceed to kick their asses on her behalf.

Barriss, furious: Explain yourselves, right now!

Jesse, rubbing his now bruised ribs: We were helping train the Commander in deflection.

Barriss, checking Ahsoka's pulse: I wouldn't consider continuously stunning her into unconsciousness an acceptable part of her training regimen. And stun rounds can't actually be deflected.

Anakin: You're not her master, you don't get a say in how I train my Padawan.

Galen, punches Anakin's face: We do when that Padawan is Ahsoka Tano!

Kix, who's just walked in, rushes to the unconscious Togruta's side: Commander, can you hear me?

Shaak Ti, strides in, rushes to Tano's side, and gives a Mace Windu level serious expression with her fangs out: Who's responsible for this happening to my baby girl? Tell me this instant, or there will be no dessert for any of you, for a month.

Literally everyone, points at Anakin.

Ahsoka, slowly wakes up to find herself in Shaak's arms: Mama?

Shaak Ti, relieved, cradling Ahsoka: I'm here, little Soka.

Ahsoka: I love you, mum.

[random-chaotic-bitch]

501st Incorrect Quotes

Fives: What if I mixed coffee into my rations mush?

Kix, passing by: What if you don’t?

.........

Jesse: I’m going to ask the Commander if I can use her lightsabers!

Kix, already going to prepare the medbay: Not this shit again...

...........

Tup: Hey Kix, how many pieces of candy is too much?

Kix, having a sinking feeling of what is about to happen: Anything over 15 in one sitting is excessive.

Tup, already in the other room: Jesse, I told you Hardcase had too much!

Kix: *screams in the corner*

[tattycoram]

Fives: swaggity swup whats wrong with Tup Fives: *discovers the sith plot for mass genocide* Fives: motherfuck

[obes-kenobes-benos]

Fives, standing on a chair: The floor is hating general Kenobi

Ashoka: *leaps into Anakin´s arms*

Anakin: *climbs onto the holo table while carrying Ashoka*

Rex: *lounges in a chair with his legs on the holo table*

Cody: *sits gingerly on the holo table*

Obi-Wan: *lies on the floor*

Everyone: nOo

[your-local-jedi-commander]

Echo: I think I’m coming down with something. I’ve been so nauseous lately

Fives, seriously: maybe you’re pregnant

Echo: …

Fives: …

Echo: I don’t know who’s the bigger idiot. You, for suggesting that or me because I almost had a panic attack

[bibannana]

Rex *finishing a briefing with the 212th*: See you out there boys. *makes finger guns and winks before walking off*

Obi-wan *blinks*: What?

Cody *absolutely disgusted*: Why?

Fives *wheezing*: He did it! He actually did it!

Echo *being held up by Waxer and Boil*: Mission successful!!

Ahsoka *grins and high fives them both*: We've been teaching Rex some modern slang.

Obi-wan *slowly blinks*: I can see that.

Anakin *enters*: Greetings my fellow friends!

Cody *shaking his head*: Force, they got Skywalker too.

Fives *grins*: Nah, he's always been like that.

Taglist: @staycalmandhugaclone @soliloquy-of-nemo @nekotaetae @jiabae @sexy-rex

[gamelpar]

Rex, to the entire 501st: Can we normalize. Can we all just normalize. Can we all just fucking become normal.

[sun-roach]

Obi-Wan: *watches the snowball fight between the 212th and the 501st.*

Cody: Don’t you want to join?

Obi-Wan: Oh no, no, my dear. That wouldn’t be really fair

Cody: *raises a brow * how come?

Obi-Wan: You and me against the 501st? They got no chance.

Cody: *laughs* That might be right, general

Obi-Wan: *smiles. * I sense a 'but'?

Cody: but… it would be more fun with- *he quickly turns around and spin kicks Rex (as soft as possible), who wanted to hit him with a giant pile of snow*

Rex: Argh, Codyyyy *fakes his pain *

Anakin: Captain down!

Ahsoka: Get them!

Cody: … So… you and me? *looks at Obi-Wan with a sighing smile*

Obi-Wan: *chuckles and prepares them some snowballs * Always

[padawansuggest]

CloneChat

Rex: GIYS I MIGHT BE ABOUT TO BE COURT MARSHALLES

Fives: noooo ur so sexy don’t be court marshaled

Echo: …anyways. Why???

Rex: I flirted with Skywalker a bit and told him I know a cool place and dropped him off at the mind healer’s in the temple

501st: *multiple people typing at once*

[incorrectclonewarsquotes]

Wooley: How's the Commander's head?

Obi-Wan: He's shown remarkable progress after some tutorials.

Wooley:...General?

Obi-Wan: Oh...you meant when he walked into a low-hanging pipe this morning. He's fine save for the wounded pride, my dear.

Wooley:...

Obi-Wan: Lieutenant, why are staring? looks over his shoulder Is Cody behind me?

Cody, sitting on a chair and nursing an ice pack

Cody: No I'm beside you

[501st-rexster]

Incorrect CANON 501st Quotes

Hardcase: *holding a highlighter in his hand.*

Rex, nervous: Why do you have a highlighter?

Hardcase: I want to eat a highlighter so I can glow.

Rex, wide-eyed: ABSOLUTELY NOT!! THAT'S NOT HOW THAT WORKS!!

Jesse: Yeah, dumbass. Eating a highlighter won't make you glow.

Rex, sighing: Thank y-

Jesse: You gotta eat a glow stick if you want to glow.

Rex: NO!!!

[techfan450]

Rex: *wakes up on a good mood*

Rex: Good morning! We have a very chill day ahead!

Fives: *opens his mouth*

Echo: *shoves an entire muffin into Fives's mouth*

[im-here-and-im-confused]

Obi-wan - we've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Anakin will and will not eat.

Cody - Grass? yes!

Obi-wan - Moss? yes!

Cody - Leaves? Oh yes!

Obi-wan - Shoelaces? strangely enough yes!

Cody - Worms? sometimes!

Obi-wan - Rocks? usually no!

Cody - Twigs? usually yeah!

Obi-wan - Ahsoka's cooking? Inconclusive!

Rex - Right, and how...how did you test this?

Obi-wan - oh well we just handed him things, and said 'hey eat this'.

Cody - and if he ate it, he ate it.

Rex - Right okay, i don't know how im supposed to feel about this.

Ahsoka - WAIT SO IS THAT WHERE ALL OF MY SHOE LACES WENT!?

[tattycoram]

Kix: Hi I'm your medic and I'll be drawing your blood today, as soon as I finish this capri sun Kix: *misses the hole four times then finally punches the straw through the side* Fives: *sweats nervously*

[cuddles-with-dragons]

Fives: We need to distract these guys. Echo: Leave it to me. Echo: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. Anakin & Rex: *immediately begin arguing*

Rex: What's gone wrong, Fives? Fives: Hey! That’s one hell of a thing to say to a person. Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis. Rex: That’s technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling? Fives: Well... There’s a crisis.

Anakin: *sees someone doing something stupid* Anakin: What an idiot. Anakin: *realizes it's Ahsoka* Anakin: Wait, that's MY idiot!

Ahsoka: I hate to disagree with you, but- Anakin: Please, you love to disagree with me. Its your favorite thing to do.

Anakin: Wanna hear some dark humor. Rex: Yeah, I love dark humor. Anakin: Alright. Anakin: *Turns off the lights* Anakin: Knock knock. Rex: Turn the damn lights back on.

Rex: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone. Fives: Mine just says "Fives no." Rex: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single speeder bike. Fives, with Echo and Rex behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?! Police: Yes…three. Fives: Oh, my God— What the fuck!? Police: Wha- Fives: Cody FUCKING FELL OFF!

Rex: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

Echo: Fives! Rex got that thing on the control panel working! Fives: Wow! That looks pretty impressive. Echo: Yeah! Fives: Any idea what it does? Echo: Not a clue.

Cody, answering his comm: Hello? Rex: It’s Rex. Cody: What did he do this time? Rex: No, it’s me, Rex. It’s actually me. Cody: What did you do this time?

Obi-Wan: Everyone, calm down! We're grown-ups, let's deal with this like adults! Anakin: So, we're just going to wing it and hope for the best? Obi-Wan: Obviously. Now, Ahsoka, pass the shovel.

Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent. Fives: I choose to waive that right! Fives: *screaming*