#90% of the time it's not being done maliciously!

[songbirddoodles]

totally nuts completely cracked and frankly absolutely BONKERS whenever i see a fictional universe wherein, like, magic canonically exists and there’s all these different species and complex, intricate lore and worldbuilding, and somehow, some way, the one (1) gay character’s main plotline is STILL inevitably that they are gay and are suffering because of it. everything comes to a grinding halt while for them the minute they figure out they’re queer. it’s like, oh this guy can shoot fire out of his hands, yeah. there’s giant flying beasts all about and people can just go to different dimensions at will or something. but a world without homophobia? unimaginable. piss yourself now

[theinfinitedivides]

.

ey. it my mother's country and i love it to death but Dominica does vex me sometimes fr fr

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for trying to block evade?

This happened several years ago, so I'll put the ages that we were at the time.

I [17F at the time], had an extremely close friend [17F] of 3+ years, and I still haven't found any kind of friendship that came close to the level of trust / openness that was there. So some of this backstory ranges from 14yrs to 17yrs.

My home was abusive, and she and her mom helped me figure out what was rational vs irrational, normal vs not normal, and pointing out local resources to get help - which was absolutely amazing and I could not thank them enough.

She invited me to her house pretty regularly, a couple times a week. We'd have hours of skype calls. She got me roped into Undertale & the fandom. Well, not that we really interacted with the fandom at large. We only publically posted some of the art and barely got noticed haha. Between the two of us, we had something like 26 AUs and had a lot of rp with multiverse shenanigans - like over 1200+ pages of google docs rp, because that's where we did like 90% of it. After we hit like 100-200 pages, we'd make a new doc so it wouldn't take so long to load. And we had like, at least like 9 docs I think. I was mostly in it for her, because it was really fun to just make up stories together. I could've done it with any fandom she threw at me, undertale is just the one that was popular at the time.

At one point, I think when we were around 16, I asked her if she wanted to start dating. She said something along the lines of maybe in the future, but not right now - she wanted to focus on school. Even though she declined at the time, she did say she appreciated me asking and that it meant a lot to her. And there were 0 hard feelings about the answer, we just kept on going the way we were going.

She got hit with a really bad level of depression, and stopped coming to school. After 2-3 days, I started calling her every day around lunch time just to check in on her and see how she was doing. See if there was anything I could do to help - bring some snacks, catch her up on classwork for the couple classes we shared, stuff like that. This was for couple months. More than just a mental health day, and the only reason she gave was Depression.

After a week or two of the daily calls, there was probably an aspect of toxic positivity on my end. Like "You gotta Do Something to avoid being trapped in your misery, even if it's just baby steps like sitting outside on the porch or going on a walk down the block" Not maliciously, but more out of not knowing how to handle a situation like this & genuinely wanting to help her because of all the help she's offered me in the past & fueled a little bit by fear because Depresssion is the excuse that my abusive parents used to justify their shitty behavior & neglect. Not because I was afraid of what she'd do to me, but more what she'd do to herself. That's one of the only things I could think where I went wrong, which I completely acknowledge and understand now.

She was still inviting me to her house, and we were still doing our normal thing there. Drawing and writing stories together.

After 4-5 weeks [? estimate, time is an illusion] of her not showing up to school, I can't remember if I asked if it was helpful or if she suggested that I stop calling every day. Calling every day was making her feel worse.

I did end up calling the next day or two at lunch - crossing the boundary was not my intent. We had planned to hang out on the weekend again, lunch is just when I remembered & had time to call to ask if she still wanted to hang out or if she wanted some space. I think she said yes to hanging out, didn't mention anything about crossing the boundary. Same with the next day - there was something I needed to ask clarification on, it wasn't a check in, nothing was mentioned of the boundary. I can't remember what it was now. This is another one of the places where I think I went wrong, which I acknowledge & understand.

I did stop the check ins like requested though. After those two off days, I did stop calling her every day at lunch.

She finished out the school year having shown up to class maybe 3ish times, I think.

Again, we were still hanging out regularly. There was no indication that I was doing anything wrong, there was no indication that anything I was doing was wrong. She was still the one inviting me to hang out at least half the time.

There were some problems that I was noticing that I just wanted to have a casual chat about and figure out, but she kept pushing it off as a "I don't have the energy right now, we can talk about it later" and we'd go back to the fun things. I don't really remember what those problems were.

In the summer, I went to a different state to visit my older sister that I hadn't seen in years. I talked to her about it, I was excited for it. We were still chatting regularly during my trip over skype or discord.

And then, during my trip that I was so excited about, she drops this bombshell. She sends me several massive messages detailing out a bullet point list of everything I've done wrong, that she's explicitly breaking off the friendship, and blocks me. 95% of things on that list either flat weren't true, or gross misunderstandings of what happened.

It was genuinely horrible things too.

For example, one of the things on the list was "Suicide baiting" or "Suicide guilt tripping" or something along those lines, which had happened several months if not a year before this. -I've only ever communicated feeling acutely suicidal to her 1 time. -Long before that, she made me promise that if I ever felt suicidal that I was supposed to immediately talk to her about it, for her own peace of mind so she wouldn't worry about me. -I reached a point of feeling acutely suicidal due to abuse at home & general existential dread, that happened to be during a time we had an issue.

I purposefully waited until after the issue was resolved, like 2 weeks, before telling her. I did that specifically so it would not be taken as a guilt trip or a form of coercion while still holding as true as I could to my promise. She made me promise to tell her, it was something very important to her. I made very clear to say "this is something I experienced a couple weeks ago due to unrelated things, it is resolved now, I got help through xyz means and genuinely feel better. You made me promise to tell you so I am telling you, I didn't want to say anything while we were having a problem for xyz reason." I just wanted to talk, and clear up the misunderstandings. I wanted to have a good conversation about figuring out where the communication went wrong, try and figure out how she came to these conclusions, and how that differs from my point of view. Do something to work it out, and just talk about it, and try and salvage this 3+ year friendship.

After I realized I was blocked, I was going through so so many emotions all at once. The whiplash of going from 5 to 100, Upset that I wasn't given any sort of chance to explain, the 5 stages of grief, being thrown away like the gum off your shoe, worrying about her and if this was the stage of isolation for depression, holding out the hope that we could still just talk and work things out, angry that she kept pushing off and refusing to have any sort of serious talk before this, doubting if anything she had said on 'normal vs not normal' - particularly communication styles, thoughts that maybe she was abusive and manipulative all along, maybe I was continuing the cycle of abuse, trauma flashbacks, anxieties that I had since squashed as 'irrational', fear that this was a sign that she was about to fucking kill herself and maybe the whole list was a lie so I wouldn't try and reach out and stop her, doubting my own reality and maybe the entire list she sent me was true and she was justified in her actions.

Simultaneously trying to process intense feelings and realities if it was true and I'm really secretly a horrible monster, if it wasn't true and she was about to die, and old traumas getting dug out of the grave.

God I was such an emotional wreck and did not know how to process or understand anything that was happening.

This is where the AITA comes in -

I was pushing through back to back panic attacks trying to contact her and figure out what was going on. I didn't want her to die, if that's what was happening. I didn't want to be discarded and thrown away like a piece of trash, if that's what was happening. I didn't want to have 0 chance of learning & growing as a person even if this friendship wasn't salvageable due to my monstrous nature, if that's what was happening.

So I block evaded like fckn crazy. Gmail, pet game sites, discord, skype, deviantart, whatever online platform that we shared that had messaging enabled. I called her phone several times. On the 3-4th call, her mom picked up and told me that none of the above was true. That she wasn't about to die, that I wasn't being thrown away like trash, and that I wasn't a monster. She didn't agree with her daughters actions and thought it unfair to me, but ultimately it was my friend's choice. All simultaneously which just did not compute.

If the list she sent me was true, I was a shitty horrible person. If it wasn't, and she isn't about to die, then not be able to just have a calm sit-down conversation at some point about it and clear it up - if I wasn't worth even attempting to make that effort then I was being thrown away like trash. I kept trying for days afterwards to talk to her - just, anything at all. Nothing got through, she never responded to anything.

And... that was that.

I didn't have a chance to talk to her again. I didn't have a chance to clear up misunderstandings, or understand what I did actually wrong and where, or any sort of closure.

Sometimes if I'm remembering it and feeling paranoid, I'll check and see if she's alive by looking at her online profiles for any activity. Like, maybe once a year tops now. According to the petgame sites, she's still alive at least. I'm assuming she got new social media. Literally it's just a "is she alive, do I have to worry about causing her suicide" check, I don't stalk or look into anything further than that.

Anyway, AITA for how extensively & desperately I was block evading?

What are these acronyms?

[pansear-doodles]

-> Pansear ; any pronoun ; genderfluid bisexual (taken) ; Neurodivergent ; 21 ; April 9 ; Local Filipino

-> GAD and MDD (Please be patient with me, thank you)

-> If I blocked you(usually because you blocked me first or because I thought your account was a bot) and you wish to be unblocked, please lmk on an alternate account or friend.

Welcome to my blog. There's lots of important stuff under keep reading. So if you care and have the time, do read.

-> Hello. I'm Pansear. I have done stupid shit but also cool shit, and stupid cool shit. My stupid shit don't mean I'm being malicious- I think most of the time I was just silly or very emotional about it. I really like to draw, play specific video games, and enjoy animated content like movies and cartoons. I think animals are cool, plants are cool, sharks and aquatic creatures are cool, and for some reason I really like vending machines (I think they are exciting). I like to make food and eat them, and even draw them. I like video game music and music with guitars and bass in them. I really like plushies and collect those of my favorite characters.

-> Oh and speaking of Favorite characters... They're my blorbos alright and sometimes I accidentally project onto them. These blorbos include: Werewolf Cookie (Cookie Run), Legoshi (Beastars; look I even share birthdays with him!), Nick Wilde (Zootopia), Plague Knight (Shovel Knight), Artificer and Hunter (Rain World), Ichimatsu Matsuno (Osomatsu-san), Foxy the Pirate (FNAF), Pinkie Pie (MLP), Spamton (Deltarune), and a bunch of goth/edgy backstory and generally edgy/tired old men from Pokemon like Nanu and Larry. I could go on more but just know that if the character looks like they deserve some sort of hug, 90% of the time they're likely my most favorite character.

-> A troubled person trying to get by in college. Currently seeking therapy and found support with many lovely individuals (my friends!) and making some form of progress to fix myself. My primary form of coping is drawing and making stories where the characters fight similar struggles as mine (They are essentially my Earthbound Flying Men). This is one of the reasons why I make a lot of art and draw fast- It is not to chug out content- I just draw fast and a lot. Well... I used to draw fast, but with the advice of many, I'm taking it easy.

-> I also like to play video games and listen to music repeatedly until I get bored to help cheer me up. I do not want to go into detail about my trauma and its details and progression shouldn't be everyone's priority to know. I'm here in the internet to have fun and maybe earn incentives along the way, and whenever I get tired, I dock out until I feel better.

-> I'm not looking for attention, especially those that spout negativity. Let me know of anything that concerns you and don't be afraid to be honest. I don't want to hurt people, but I will bite if prompted or cornered. I apologize if my episodes do leak out and cause worries, and I apologize that I may go on manic, narcissistic and overzealous tangents at times. It may be hard to control my emotions, but it doesn't excuse it.

-> Most things I say are gender neutral and loose. Don't take everything too seriously. Sometimes my distinctions in art and portrayals are not clear to people so please browse with an open mind. I also might not know certain subjects for cultural and personal reasons, so if you wish to educate me on some manners, please do- I never mean anything malicious in my work. Feel free to request tags.

-> Everyone has the right to share and use my art anywhere as long as I am credited. (there are some exceptions to this such as using them for monetary purposes or using them for malicious intent)

-> For anyone who is willing to be patient, kind, and understanding of me, thank you. You make my journey less scary. I hope it isn't weird to say "I love you" platonically, and to a stranger nonetheless! I think, even on brief times, everyone deserves a form of appreciation, especially for taking the time to read all of this, haha. I have done a lot of mistakes in the past, and people who are mature and understanding of the such are to be treasured. I truly believe it is important to know that everyone here is only human, who all went through different experiences and learning journeys, and you are only human too.

🌈Links -> Commissions CLOSED -> Support me (Ko-fi) -> Support me (Patreon) -> ✨Patreon Supporters List✨ -> Linktree -> Carrd

🌈Content Resources -> Rain World Shipping Name Masterlist (semi-outdated) -> Rain World Art Archives -> Rain World Emotes F2U -> My First Artihunter Comic -> Rain World Anthro AU Series -> Follower Contract (funny)

~Common Blog Tags and their meanings~

#my art - A majority of art I made use this tag.

#gift - Stuff made for me and sometimes for other people. Sometimes the gift comes from the creation of it, so some posts can have that too if I find that criteria.

#my anthro au, #anthro au - My Rain World Anthro AU uses these tags. The former is the new one that specifies my au in particular. The older tag is mixed in with other anthro aus people have.

#oc - Occasional posts containing my very original stuff.

#thoughts - Posts that have my random rambles. Somewhat unimportant but my mind works like that. However, since my second personal blog, these posts will be less frequent.

#rw shipping, #shipping - As most of you know, I am a shipper and I actively participate in doing it. My blog is filled with shipping content and I'm very vocal about #artihunter . This is not the only thing I do though, but if you do not wish to see it, I would tag such posts as this so people can filter them. Please lmk if I forget to tag.

#vent - This and the self harm tags used to be prevalent in this blog. I realized that these are things that shouldn't be revealed so publicly, and in front of the potentially vulnerable. This MIGHT come in rarely, but I'm hoping that not anymore from here on out. I'm sorry to those who witnessed such tags.

Occasionally, this blog may tackle sensitive and more mature topics (which would be tagged as such). This does not mean this blog is completely full of that. If you have any issue with them or if you wish for me to tag them, please let me know!

Out of everything, thank you for supporting my content and acknowledging my humanity, sincerely.

I have more to say. If you are willing to hear it.

[drakaripykiros130ac]

I am realizing that Alicent is literally insane.

She doesn’t have the proper mannerism of a queen consort (and no wonder - she wasn’t supposed to be one in the first place).

She constantly screams, she gossips, she is vicious, she is aggressive towards her children, self-serious, self-righteous and she has crazy eyes (all the time).

She has deluded herself into thinking that what she is doing is right, and she actually couldn’t be more wrong.

Furthermore, in that crazy mind of hers, she is the one doing everything in the name of duty and sacrifice, while Rhaenyra doesn’t.

What exactly has she done that is so admirable? Her young body managed to pop out children - that’s her great accomplishment. And her so- called “duty and sacrifice” is having children with a heterosexual man she doesn’t love (her and like 90% of women in that Realm. I wonder what she would have done if she were married to a gay man like Rhaenyra was). Other than that, she hasn’t done anything worthy of respect. On the contrary:

1. She abused her power by protecting and promoting a murderer as her sworn shield.

2. Her parenting skills suck. She raised two malicious sons.

3. She went against the Faith’s principles, and married her only daughter to her eldest son for no other reason than to satisfy her political agenda (which resulted in Helaena being terribly mistreated. As if she doesn’t have enough issues already).

4. She took advantage of her husband’s illness and ruled in his stead. And she did a very poor job of it, as did her father. They ignored all the problems of the smallfolk, and focused solely on their personal ambitions.

5. She spent most of her life focussing on Rhaenyra’s life, mentally abusing her, and pursuing a vendetta against her children, instead of focussing on the little monsters she herself raised.

6. She constantly butts in on other people’s business.

7. She’s a terrible politician. Even Cersei was better than her. Just seeing the way her mind works at that Council meeting in episode 6, made me laugh. Just like Cersei, she has convinced herself that she is smart.

Alicent is a terrible person, but she is also already mentally ill (it’s clear foreshadowing for the future when she will succumb to complete madness). Not to mention, reckless and unstable.

Aside from her low standing, she obviously didn’t have the proper training/education or temperament to be a queen consort.

She and her House have brought nothing but trouble to the Crown. The Hightowers have a long history of being opportunists but they don’t have much to offer. And now, they expect some sort of payment…for being a bunch of thorns in people’s sides.

Alicent should have taken her crazy ass back home to Oldtown when she had her chance and taken those kids with her. They would have had a much greater chance of keeping their lives (which is pretty much all they deserve).

[jenyifer]

I love Boston and he deserves Nick.

I get a lot of flack for having the chaos boys as my favorite duo of only friends. Sooo allow me to rant about my reasoning here. I get a lot of ‘ohhh you must like the sex scenes bet you like VegasPete’. No… actually… Sex is just a part of adult life. Im personally not interested in dick but I do like my characters to be realistic. Being promiscuous doesn’t make you an evil person. That isn’t my lifestyle but I can respect people who live that way. What I love about Boston is his confident persona that clashed with his smart cunning underbelly. I don’t think he’s malicious or narcissistic. Boston is a confident gay man who is loyal to his friends only. Now you might say wtf to that understandable but in Boston’s head he has done nothing wrong except let Nick get too close. Top is like him and in his logic Boston called dibs. He knew he’d be there for Mew when things went down but he didn’t expect everyone to find out about him and top. Boston probably thought he was accelerating to the end to protect his friend. I think this is also why he tells Sand Ray’s ass is fully owned by Mew. In Bostons mind he was helping Ray cut the bullshit. Boston is honest 90% of the time which makes him our most reliable character. AND YET WE HAVE YET TO REALLY GET HIS POV we know so much about him without being in his chaos mind. Do you know how impressive that is? We can also see Boston change from the start of the series being heavily effected by his fights with Top Mew Nick and Ray. He isn’t a 2d boy who falls in love and magically is fixed. While I think he knows what his feelings for Nick mean He intellectually has made the decision to reject him which makes me want their relationship to work out even more.

As far as Nick his oversteps are pretty normal for someone with too much tech knowledge on his hands. Yes it’s wrong. But terribly tempting when you have access to it and see how the world regards privacy as a fiction. I like how Nick tries his best to not fall for Boston it’s extremely endearing. Nicks heart wins out every time. I’ve been in have relationships with people that others say “hey that person is trash” but to me I like to look beyond the surface. Everyone has their own motivation. Everyone has their own struggle with social things so… it’s not fair to judge someone too quickly. Sometimes you click with someone forever changed with the touch of a hand. It’s not some fairytale. Nick wants to see Boston be happy and for him to actually see Nick is at his side. No matter what Boston does. Because regardless of other people their spark remains. Unfinished and true. Honest and Nasty. Chaos.

Together Boston and Nick make eachother better. Boston looks outside himself more often and Nick gains confidence. They do balance eachother out. I don’t feel like one is really the hunter and the other is the prey. They are both Savage it’s just Nick is quieter than Boston so gets out in the shadow. I’m excited to get to the point where they are both chasing eachother and hit into one another again.

[just-late-roman-republic-things]

Have you ever read the Masters of Rome series by Colleen McCullough?

If so, what are your thoughts on her portrayal of Ceasar? I love the books, but her and Ceasar are basically the:

"I have never done anything wrong ever"

"I know this and I love you"

meme from Parks and Rec

I enjoyed those books! They're flawed, but still have a lot of things I loved. As for Caesar specifically...

He's a very divisive figure, so it doesn't surprise me that her depiction of him is divisive as well. It's not completely positive: she spends a lot of time on the Gallic War without erasing its ugliness, and portrays him as growing steadily more authoritarian afterward. But it's still more sympathetic than in 90% of portrayals, and his death is treated as a tragedy. If you really dislike Caesar, this can potentially break the series for you.

The books are a great example of authorial attachment warping a narrative - what used to be called the Mary Sue problem before misogynists co-opted that phrase. Caesar is not only more competent, important, fleshed-out and handsome(??) than everyone else, he also gets away with a lot of bullshit. And sometimes McCullough changes facts to fit her headcanons, from minor things like making him blond (she loves blonds), to changing when the trial of Rabirius took place to expand Caesar's role in it.

Is this necessarily bad? Well, it's a matter of personal taste. I actually enjoyed his portrayal, and found his misadventures and arrogance entertaining. (Him being a nuisance to the long-suffering Lucullus is practically a running joke.) That's because I tend to like very proactive, clever, morally dubious protagonists like in Death Note, The Godfather, and The Count of Monte Cristo, so McCullough's Caesar got chucked into my lifelong pile of Deeply Problematic Faves.

Some readers just find him obnoxious, or dislike how he mostly takes over the story in books 3-6. That's valid! Even for me it gets a bit much sometimes. Folks who detest him will probably like the Cicero Trilogy or Roma Sub Rosa a lot better.

Also. I tend to be pretty forgiving of authorial bias and inaccuracy in historical fiction, as long as it helps build a strong story, as in Roma soy yo. (And as long as it's not malicious shit like fascist propaganda. Creative works based on hate or fearmongering usually have poor characterization, anyway.) Some readers are much more bothered by these things, and that's also valid. It all depends on what you want and expect out of a book when you read it, y'know?

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

Propaganda under the cut.

Eve:

Ate some fruit that wasn't hers. Deserves to win bc she's mother

Prospera Mercury:

She used to be a good person before all her loved ones, aside of her first daughter, got slaughtered. Prospera has committed about a lot of atrocities, including massacring some earthians and blaming a 17 year old for it, but the reason she has done so is because she views it as the way to achieving happiness and freedom for her first daughter, as the little girl had been trapped inside the body of a robot with little to no agency and means of communication, and Prospera viewed the Quiet Zero Project as a way to ensure her prosperous (ha) future. With revenge only as a bonus, and not an actual goal. Prospera also has a second daughter, who she has mistreated, but not with malicious intent, viewing her manipulation of her as something that would lead her and all the family into a path they would all respectively belong and, despite obviously not being a good parent due to the manipulation, she has showed multiple times she cares about her. And I rarely ever see a complex take kn motherhood, it’s mostly either “cartoonishly evil,” “100% good” or “90% good, is trying her best. I like that (Sorry if this isn’t good propaganda, I’m tired and tumblr deleted my previous submission before I could submit it 😭)

all of her friends and family save for her daughter were murdered by an evil ceo. she then devoted her life to orchestrating a shakespearean revenge plot against him. as part of this she manipulated/brainwashed her daughter to kill people. and killed a bunch of other people herself. and did some other fucked up stuff while she was at it

[em-harlsnow]

debbie isn’t my favourite character and half the time she annoyed me, but she’s a good character and she’s realistic so I like her. (And there’s also a lot of times when she’s not annoying at all). But what really annoys me is the amount of people who HATE her and ignore other annoying characters.

Take lip. Lip makes me mad 90% of the time he’s on screen. He’s hypocritical, arrogant, high and mighty - all of it. But for some reason people will always hate Debbie more than him?? maybe that’s just my opinion, but i think too many people hate debbie and ignore lip.

Also, people support frank more than they support debbie which is so fucking stupid. When people actually like frank, i genuinely have to question if they even saw the show because in 99/100 of Frank’s scenes he was a terrible human being. Sure, sometimes he was funny, but a lot of the time he was fucking evil and malicious. Debbie may have done *stupid* things, but she never did *evil* things to purposely harm another person.

Don’t forget - Debbie is a child!!! When she has Franny and maybe lacks the foresight to realise the amount of responsibility that comes with a child, guess what? She was a child!! She wanted something (like a baby, or the father of that baby) to love her unconditionally because she never felt loved. She wanted to be an adult and make her own choices and she wanted to rebel against her mother-figure (Fiona) because she - like many young teens - believe they know everything.

She made mistakes, and she was annoying. But i don’t think people should hate her as much as they do when there are other MORE annoying characters to hate on. (but those characters are male, so obviously don’t get as much hate)

sorry for the rant <3

[disabledunitypunk]

I'm so tired of cripplepunk exclusionism. I'm frustrated that cripplepunk as a term has become a red flag for those of us that are both physically disabled and neurodisabled, because we know we are not safe in those spaces. I'm especially tired of the few neurotypical gatekeepers I've come across that are treating people who are both like privileged invaders when they literally lack one of the axes of oppression we face and therefore (while I don't believe they are ontologically capable of oppressing us) DO HAVE PRIVILEGE IN THAT SITUATION.

And I'm tired of other people who are both throwing those with multiple types of disabilities to the wolves. I'm tired of some of the people who quite literally have more accommodations and treatment than me treating me like I'm only mildly disabled in any way. Please note I'm only referring to the people involved in the conversation that have access that I don't have, such as not being housebound by their own words.

I'm also tired of it coming from people as or more disabled than me, but that is both less common and I have more sympathy for those people because being super fucking sick and having to fight a greater-than-90-degree battle against the people who are supposed to be saving your life and increasing it's quality to not kill you and actively make your quality of life worse fucking sucks. I know from personal experience. I'm not excusing their actions, but I do feel for them.

Anyway, here's the post that provoked this. I'm struggling more and more every day to not think that this is at the very least partially a psy-op pushed by actual feds, even if it didn't start out that way, because of the extreme levels of damage it's done to disabled solidarity. It has truly effectively destabilized any disabled liberation movements.

And you know what? I don't care if there are no actual feds involved. If that's worth it to you just to get one over on the evil "abled" or "able-bodied" privileged neurodivergents, regardless of where you fall in terms of type of disability, go pick up your badge, because you're just doing the work of a fed, might as well not do it for free.

And don't get me wrong, I have my own share of wrath for neurodivergent people that think all physically disabled people have it soooo easy and are taken sooooo seriously. Corpoableism is also a problem in the community! I saw a comic like that the other day that I haven't been able to post about yet because I literally get too triggered every time I try.

My point here is specifically about exclusion in a movement quite literally named for a slur that historically and in modern times has absolutely been used for all of us. Crip studies and crip liberation always included all of us, well before someone on tumblr decided to make it exclusive. We were being called mental crips in asylums right alongside physical crips in hospitals (and freak shows).

We all face ableism and accessibility barriers and can be SEVERELY DISABLED by either type of disability. Pretending otherwise is just ableism.

But that's the whole point, isn't it? Using a reclaimed slur that belongs to all of us because a coiner who was (hopefully non-maliciously) ignorant of disabled liberation movements' histories and the variance in physical realities of neurodisability symptoms said so. Disabled people deciding that their experiences are universal, or that other disabled people are just lying fakers who want attention and are claiming to be more disabled than they are to get it (hm, where does that sound familiar). Pushing neurodisabled people out of disabled spaces because we're "not really disabled" and it's "all in our heads".

Conflating "abled" with "able-bodied", something the vast majority of cpunk exclusionists I've seen do, and conversely conflating "disabled" with "physically disabled". And if "cripplepunk" is only for "physically disabled" people and not for neurodivergent "able-bodied" people, then it's for "disabled" people and not for neurodivergent "abled" people. That's where linking those concepts ends up. It's all ableism, all the way down.

See, I have no problem with spaces that focus on physical disabilities. I'd like those myself. I just don't want to be considered "derailing" or a "privileged invader" when I can't separate my symptoms neatly into little boxes of "physical" and "mental", or compare the ones I can and how they affect each other and worsen each other, or talk about how sanism and neuroableism make corpoableism from medical professionals worse and vice versa, or find that some of my neurodisabilities are worse or cause more accessibility barriers than some of my physical ones.

Because cripplepunk isn't about physically disabled people anymore. It's about excluding neurodivergent people. And this hurts physically disabled neurodivergent people most.

Maybe we could stop the bullshit lateral aggression and go back to the idea that disabled people don't have to be "nice", or "palatable", or mask as abled when we're not. Maybe we can go back to actually fighting our oppressors instead of each other. (And maybe also we can go back to some fucking selfies of decorated mobility aids and 3d printer designs for wheelchair handle spikes and openly disabled joy. I fucking miss that.)

[missbaphomet]

Things I have learned by watching the content of professional OW players as a new player:

The scoreboard does not tell the whole story. It tracks a miniscule amount of things that happen in any given game, and often entirely skips over things that are a huge part of a hero's kit (resurrections, debuffs cleansed, distracting the enemy team, saves, and so much more)

The numbers can be misleading. You can have 20k damage and have done next to nothing for your team. Even having the most kills in lobby can mean very little when you consider the whole game. There are 9 other people in that lobby other than you, and you have no idea what each of them is thinking or doing at any given moment.

You are not omniscient. You saw your tank get 4 kills with their ult, sure, but did you see the Mercy resurrect them a few seconds ago? Did you see the Bastion preventing the enemy from escaping so that they were all nice and contained for the play? Have you noticed the D.va peel for you to eat the Death Blossom you were about to die to? Just because the value your team is giving you isn't showing in the scoreboard or kill feed doesn't mean they're not doing anything. Learn the phrase "perceived value", and remember your team could easily perceive your value as negligible too. Especially as Support.

Rizz up your supports. Interact with them in spawn. People want to help those they have a positive perception of. If I have two dead teammates as Mercy, the one who said Hello in spawn and gave me a thanks when they got rezzed is going to get the rez 90% of the time.

You are a team, act like it. You win together, you lose together. Unless you can 100% tell someone is deliberately being malicious, assume they are trying their best. You don't like being told to delete the game or never play your favorite hero again, and neither do they.

High ground is more important than you think.

Strafe wider. Quick little wiggles are not going to cut it, especially when your enemy can aim.

A tank's job is (generally) to make space for their team to push forward. They are not infinite pools of HP. Face tanking will get you killed. Even if the tank is being double pocketed, it will not save them from the whole enemy team shooting at them.

Distraction is a valid tactic. Divide and conquer.

Learn your target priority. It will change from situation to situation, but in general Supports are ALWAYS high value targets. If nothing else is an immediate threat, target the supports.

Do not be scared of your enemy. That moment of hesitation is all it takes for them to get the upper hand. Bait cooldowns, and go in when they're out of resources. Bastion just used his alt form, you have several seconds to finish him off before he gets it back. If you can bait a cooldown, do it, back off, and strike when it's over.

Learn when a fight is going south and bail. If you find yourself in a 3v5, it's time to fall back.

If you are the last man standing, sometimes it's worth dying with your team, especially if it means you all respawn together. Trickling in one at a time is going to lose you games 100% of the time.

It is not worth it to run in alone. Take cover, stay alert, and wait a few seconds. A Soldier 76 that waits for his Orisa to go in with him is more dangerous than a Soldier going in alone, and significantly harder to deal with.

Sometimes, losing is inevitable. Don't get tilted about it. Even in top 500 matches, someone has to lose. It's just how it works.

[a-member-of-minuteswithmandm]

Mindy Kaling has been getting DRAGGED over the new Velma show and honestly I dont get it and doesn't make sense.

First of all it's not even like she's the writer on the show so half of the criticisms don't make sense. Second....have any of the haters actually watched the show? People keep cropping 90 second clips to dunk on her and removing all context and depth from a show that I think is doing a good job of subverting tropes and putting a new twist on a franchise that's been done DOZENS of times. Scooby Doo literally has so many various iterations, let Velma be it's own thing and if you hate it so much, then stop watching.

I won't even get into all the BS that's been said about her other projects; people are being so disengenous and malicious in how they pick at things to try and frame Mindy as racist or islamaphobic and it's so frustrating because that's literally the opposite of what her aim in in her shows.

You don't have to like her but claiming she's not a good writer or not funny is just BS. Like who cares about her fixation with BJ Novak? Why does her personal life (that we don't even really know about) matter so much when determining how we feel about her work?

Honestly, when people say all her Indian characters are the same it sounds racist because all the Indian characters she writes are distinctly different in personalities. The only similarities are that they are Indian, they are Women, and they are pro-sex....that's all.

Anyway, I don't want to focus on all the negative stuff that's been said about her, so instead we focused on the things we love about her - her writing skills! The shows that Mindy has created/written for have been pretty good, and she shines when it comes to writing romantic comedies.

If you wanna hear our thoughts on this, feel free to watch our video here where we talk about the shows she's worked on and how great they are!

[chattaboochel]

Fluid Hearts | Chapter 2

Secret Discussions

Warnings: Swearing, angst, smut (eventually),harem x afabOC.

Words: 5.1k

Tags (Open): @hellothere9597, @jayvuu , @wannastraygolden , @furiousenemylover , @courtneypaigemartin , @idkwho-this

Thank you guys for the support so far!!!!

Thud, Thud, Thud….

That was all anyone heard, the ball bouncing away and blood dripping on the ground.

“I-Isagi? What are you doing?”, Kira stuttered, barely comprehending those last few seconds. The ball being stolen by Bachira, Sora bouncing off the wall and then Isagi shooting it. “W-What happened ? I’m bleeding…”

Isagi too looked at him in bewilderment, watching Kira trying to stop his nose from bleeding. “Sorry… whole thing is a blur, the ball came at me from nowhere.”

‘Oh Isagi…’

“Don’t give me that!-"

Claps are what cut off Kira’s whining, “Well done my diamonds in the rough! Only results matter here. You lost Ryonoske Kira and I’m disqualifying you, Now lock off loser!”

“Bout time.”, Sora goes to sit beside a grinning Bachira. “Glad to see him go hmm?.”

“He’s a mediocre Boy Scout” Sora didn’t bother to hide her amusement from Bachira, she had no reason to pretend to be nice now that the blonde wasn’t gonna be here anymore.

Bachira smirked in delight at Soras hidden maliciousness, “Oooh harsh.” The more he interacted with her the more interning Sora became to him, he knew Sora would cause quite a stir here. “You don’t know the half of it.”

“This is bullshit. My careers over? Lying in tatters? This early on?! AND IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I LOST TO SOME CHILDISH GAME?!” Ryonoske started to tremble, finally realizing what had just occurred in that game. His temper rose rapidly.

“Wow he’s really throwing a tantrum.”

Kira continues on, Soras jabs only egging him on further. “I'M THE JEWELL OF JAPANESE SOCCER! There’s no way you think Igarshi and Isagi are more talented than me right?! ALL THIS PROVES IS THAT THEY ARE BETTER AT TAG! WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SOCCER?!”

He huffed out heaving breaths, his fists balled up tight with anger. Ego merely waited for the boy to quit his screaming before answering. “Every aspect of your lives here at Bluelock will have something to do with the sport. So look around you mr mediocre elite.”

“Notice the room size? It’s the same dimensions as a penalty area.” Ego explained, Most of the boys in the room finally took note of his words, gasping aloud at how obvious it had been.

“And roughly 75% of goals are achieved in this confines. If you can’t do your job in this area you have no talent as a striker!”

“SHUT UP! It’s freaking tag! They literally have nothing in common!”

“Jeez he’s so loud too…” Bachira chuckled at the complaining Sora beside him, watching as she dramatically covered her ears.

Bachira too couldn’t care less about the screaming Kira, far more intrigued by the child of the great Kazuma Hisaya. Something about them was different; he knew it.

But that was, he couldn't quite say.

Jinpachi continues to explain to enraged Kira, nothing the man was saying seemed to dull down the boy's hasty temper. “Just a training drill?! How much could you possibly know about me in just two minutes?! Not when a soccer match is 90!”

“Care to guess the average amount of time a player spends with a ball in a 90 minute match? 136 seconds. I provided that and you decided to wait until the time ran out.”

“I had 10 seconds! It’s not like I could do anything-“

“Would you use that same excuse if this was a match? When the ball made contact with you, there was still 1 second left on the clock. You could’ve survived if you had kicked it at Igarshi but you didn’t see the move.”

“Talk about surviving by the skin of your teeth there monk boy.”

He glared at Sora, still holding his aching ankle. “Shut it!”, her hands rise up in mock surrender, a sarcastic sorry leaving her lips. “Touchy touchy.”

“You could’ve achieved victory if you just stretched out your leg. Whoever is it in this game of tag might be the loser if holding the ball too long or perhaps the winner, considering he has the power to choose whose hit next.”

“As a striker you are to shoulder this responsibility, fighting until the very last second runs out. Yoichi Isagi chose a target, a player who was ranked higher than him instead of Igarshi. Before that Meguru Bachira stole the ball off him with Hisaya Sora following once he realized he was going for the strongest guy, just to be a part of the chase.”

Both Sora and Bachira tilt the head at the mention of their names, the other boys now looking directly at them. “The three of them demonstrated a selfishness obsession of victory, uneffected by the group of common sense.”

“It’s pure ego! Just what I’m looking for in a striker!”, Soras lips twitched upward at the praise, Bachira too smiled as he played with his hair. Isagi still looked a little shocked from the last second play but Sora was glad he was getting some recognition at last.

“Ryunoske Kira! Lock off!”

“No.. Bachira saw him out of nowhere… Sora was too fast…” He stood there blank, eyes wide, his skin tinted a soft red hue from his bleeding nose. Kira couldn’t believe it. Someone as skilled as him was the first to go. ‘This can’t be happening?!’ “He singled me out! This isn’t fair! BACHIRA CAME OUT OF NOWHERE!”

Isagi looked on at him, a tinge of guilt spinning in his chest. Not noticing a certain black and blue haired girl jogging up to his side. “Kira.. I um-“

Kira’s glare was ferocious, a seething hatred emitting from his body like a beacon and he aimed it all at Yoichi Isagi. Sora watching the interaction closely, not liking the way fake Boy Scout looked at Isagi. “YOU KNOW IT WASN'T RIGHT! ENDING MY DREAMS LIKE THIS!”

“Seriously Kira? Take your fucking tantrum outside.”, Isagi didn’t feel Sora loop her arms around Isagis neck from behind, propping her chin up on his shoulder to hoist herself up slightly. “Who the hell do you think you are!”

“Someone who's going to become one of the greatest strikers in the world whilst you leave here continuing to stew in your own mediocrity. I hope you enjoy the view now that you’ll be in Isagis' shadow.”

Kira couldn’t believe not even an hour ago he would’ve considered Sora as a peer, someone he could look up to and now all he wanted to do was kick the teens face in, famous parent or none.

“Asshole! How fucking dare-“

“And now I’m bored, would you get lost already? Before you make an even bigger fool of yourself.”

“Why you-"

Sora glared as hard as he did if not harder, daring Kira to speak another idiotic word, she would love the excuse to show him how little his existence really was.

But Kira was a Boy Scout, just as Sora pegged him to be and finally he chose to leave the room, trembling in a silent anger.

‘Woah…. That was seriously intense. Why would Sora get so heated over Kira? Why defend me?”

Sora breathed a sigh of relief once Kira was finally gone, giving Isagi a quick but reassuring pat on the shoulder before letting go of him. Isagi still had his mind of the nearly eliminated Kira.

‘And why did I do it? I think I really put an end to Kira’s soccer career but why… Why do I feel so excited right now? He knows!’

He looks right at Bachira who cheekily poked out his tongue with a sly giggle. ‘So does he’ Isagi looks back to Sora too, she shrugs her shoulders with a smirk, resting back on her hands. “Why did you pass the ball to me? You would’ve lost if I just hadn’t kicked the ball.”

Bachira pretends to think about it for a second before he smiles gleefully. “Hmmm I saw the look on your face. Like he said, only results matter here. So I believed in you and Blueberry and we won right?”

“God I hope that nickname doesn’t stick.”

He winked back at him, Isagi felt everything in him deflate. ‘Man this guy is totally crazy…’

“This is just ridiculous…”, Monk boy wincing as he tried to move his ankle.

“Ridiculous you say? You have a point. That’s the world of win and loose. Remember the world class strikers that everyone here so casually admires? They put their lives on the line like this everyday.”

“How does it feel? For the first time in your life to have to fight for your soccer career. Does it scare you? Are you excited?! This is normal in Bluelock. Are you shaken up?! Ablazed with the knowledge that you survived?! This is what victory feels like! Etch this sensation into your brains.”

‘Hmm I could get used to this’ Sora thought, excitement buzzing all around her body.

“Congratulations, those who have survived have passed the Bluelock entrance exam.”

Cheers come from all around, fists going up in excitement and relief. Sora too feeling the same as the rest did. “Look around at everyone in this room. For now you all will be living together. Sometimes you’ll work as a team and others you’ll be each others rivals, out to wreck eachothers dreams. You’re Bluelock Team Z!”

Soras fist slams into her own palm, determined and eager for the next step. ‘Time to conquer!’

~

Bluelock was rigerous, already putting its inhabitants to a series of training spanning over three days.

Not that Sora minded the exercise, she usually enjoyed it but this new binder of hers definitely made things a bit harder than she was used too.

Not to mention she finally had a chance to get acquainted with the rest of the members of team Z and boy did she think she was lumped in with a bunch of crazy people.

Skilled? sure, but she was supposed to work in tandem with a bunch of guys who would much rather be caught dead than think of anything other than themselves. ‘Yeah… nothing wrong with that picture at all.’

So far Sora mostly hung around Isagi and Bachira. The three of them already beginning to strike up a close friendship. Chigiri had yet to approach her but she figured he’d choose to in his own time.

She too wondered when she would be able too see Nagi and Reo or better yet play against them. Sora eagerly anticipated that day.

After a particularly gruelling few tests it was thankfully lunch time, Sora was starving, following behind Isagi as they collected their servings of Miso soup and Rice.

Bluelock also had a system where depending on your rank you would be allocated a side dish.

Poor Igarshi and Isagi were stuck with merely radishes and Natto. “You guys got it rough.”

“At least we get food. What did you get for yours Sora?”

“Ah! Pork dumplings, score!”

“Whaaaaaat?!”, the boys whined, their mouths practically drooling at the sight of her much better food.

“Surely you can-“, Igarshi goes to take a swig at one of her dumplings only to recieve a well earned smack on the back of the hand with her chopsticks. “Yeah nice try monk boy.”

“Ow ow ow! Did you have to hit me so hard Sora!”

“Heh, Should take a look at the others plates.” Sora specifically pointing to some very tasty looking Gyoza. “That looks so tasty!”

As they find a place to sit, Sora scoops up a dumpling with her chopsticks, quickly shoving one in Isagis face. “Sora what are-“, as soon as his lips part she puts the dumpling in his mouth. Igarshi looked as if he could cry as he carried on. “Hey!! How come Isagi gets a dumpling!”

“Because he’s my friend and if he kept staring at that gyoza he was bound to make off with them.”

“What? No I wouldn’t!”

“Yeah you would’ve.”

“I would not!”

‘But I thought about it.’ He shamefully thinks.

“So not fair! I thought we were friends too Sora right?”

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers of monk boy.” She cheekily fed Isagi another dumpling just to see Igarshi sink into his chair and chew on his pickled radishes out of spite.

~

It was late in the night or early morning depending on who you asked, team Z members had retired to their shared room to sleep.

Sora had managed to get a couple hours of rest but her chest binder was breaching the point of being unbearable. She groaned as it tightly pulled on her body, her eyes snapping open as she threw off her covers, carefully tiptoeing out of the shared dorm.

The boys' sleeping bodies almost made the trip an obstacle course, especially with Igarshi sprawled out how he was, his limbs stretched over Isagi, who somehow managed to remain sleeping. ‘How he’s asleep with that moron on top of him is a mystery.’

She quietly sneaks away, finding one of the faculties bathrooms, double checking no one was in there before slinking down to the ground, Her hand goes to her back, loosening up the binder and slipping it off for a much needed long exhale. ‘Man, you’d think we’d have perfected this shit by now.’

She cracks her neck, stretching out her arms above her head. She tosses the binder on the ground as she slips on a tank top. ‘Keeping this a secret is going to be a serious pain.’

Her hand rubbed at the sore skin on her chest, tossing off the complimentary Bluelock sweater, the only thing that covered her was the black tank top she had on under the sleepwear.

“And if the others find out, what then? Will loose my spot? Will they treat me differently? What if-“

“You know , you should probably not leave that out in the open.’

The sudden voice has Sora jumping up, one hand grabbing her binder and squishing her breasts as flat as possible. “It’s not- Chigiri?!”

The princess himself, like her, was still in his sweats. His long pink hair only slightly disheveled as he stared at her deadpanned. “Fucking hell Chigiri, you almost gave me a damn heart attack.”

“You’re lucky it’s just me jeez.”, he leans against the door, Sora not realizing it was his way of shielding any others who might pass by the bathroom. “And you’re lucky I wasn’t fully naked you ass.”

“If that were the case you wouldn’t be able to shit talk your way out of that one.”

“Funny, my sister has said the same.”

He shakes his head with a small smile. “How is your sister anyway? She good?”

“Yiri? Yeah she’s fine, her usual soccer hating self.”, Sora shrugged, the topic of her sister still a sore spot for the girl and Chigiri could tell. “She didn’t want you coming here did she?”

“Ah detective Chigiri strikes again.” He rolled his eyes, knowing this was a tactic of Soras to convince him that she was fine, she would always turn to humor to cover up her pain.

Gathering up her binder in her hands, she sits on her legs, fiddling with the fabric that hides her feminine features. “I forged the signature on the consent forms, didn’t give her a chance to say otherwise.”

Chigiri sighed at that with a shake of his head, a silent lecture it was and she knew it but he kept it nonverbal which she was thankful for. “Let’s be real Chigiri, you’re not just here to talk about my dear old sis.” Chigiri shrugged, neither confirming nor denying.

Sora fiddles with fabric again, looking up to the tiled ceiling. “Guess I owe an explanation.”

Chigiri listened intently as Sora explained how she managed to get into Bluelock, she didn’t see a reason to lie to him. Chigiri deserved better than that. “So that’s everything, you get why I have to do this now?”

“Figures you’d get yourself in this mess idiot.” a soft smile graced his face as he spoke. “I’m guessing I’m the only one who knows?”

“What do you think?”, Sora sasses, using her hand to gesture for Chigiri to turn back around so she could put back on her binder. He does as told, clearing his throat in an effort to hide his embarrassment when he realised she would be topless behind him. .

“You don’t have to worry.” Sora, stopped mid movements, staring down Chigiris back. “I won’t tell anyone about this.”

She laughs. “You’d be a pretty shitty friend if you did” Chigiri scoffs at how Sora never takes anything seriously, typical for her. “But still…thanks.”

Once again Sora found a way to surprise him.

He hears her light foot steps, signaling Sora had finished as she jogged up to the boy, looking up to him. “But I have to ask Chigiri. Why are you here? After what happened you swore soccer off for good but here you are-”

“Nothing has changed.”, She should’ve expected that from him, knowing how touchy this subject was for him but she wondered why he chose to come to Bluelock at all. “You know I can’t Sora.”

Sora sighs, disappointed but she wouldn’t push it further. For now. ‘Stubborn’

“What I do know is that your hair is a mess!”

Chigiris hand goes to his luscious pink locks, messing it up more without him realising. “Hehe ah always a princess.”

“Shut up.”, he face could’ve matched his hair with how pink it was, Only making Soras teasing even more worthwhile. “C’mere I’ll fix it.”

Sora grabs his wrist, tugging him up one of the mirrors no matter how much her friend pretended to hate it otherwise.

Chigiri never let anyone touch his hair, he always spent copious amounts of time taking care of it. But Sora was one of the few people who squeezed through his protective walls he had built. Allowing her to be one of the only people he trusted enough that close to him and his locks. He’d never tell aloud but he loved it when she played with his hair, she was always so gentle but precise when she braided it how he liked it.

Not to mention she gave killer head massages.

The two talked for a while more, bantering back and forth and Sora fixed Chigiris hair whilst he lectured her on the clear lack of maintenance she’d been using on her own.

Given Chigiris inner turmoil that Sora was fully aware of, she was glad to see another friend from home on this wild ride with her.

But she wouldn’t forget she was here first and foremost for herself.

~

Chigiri went back to bed after Sora had finished fixing his hair, knowing it would just mess it up again anyway.

Sora found herself too wired to sleep, figuring she could get some extra practice instead.

Already changed into the skin suits she enters the field room, not expecting to see both Isagi and Bachira there too.

“Oh looks like Blueberry is here to train with us!” Sora slaps her forehead as soon he says her nickname. “You’re never gonna drop that are you?”

“Nope!”, he giggles, stretching out his hands and arms. “You guys don’t mind me training with you?”

Neither of them object, both watching Sora start her own stretching. “Now that your here actually there’s something I’m confused about.”

“Hm?” Both Bachira and Sora look at him with puzzled looks, waiting for him to continue. “When we played tag, you decided to pass the ball to me and Sora.”

“Yup.”

“Why did you do that? How’d you know I’d aim for Kira? How’d you know Sora would follow you.”

Sora too was curious to get an explanation. When watching Bachira on the field it’s like he moves on pure instinct, something no one can read.

Bachiras foot rests on the ball, his hands on his hips as he contemplates his answer. “I guess it’s because… there’s a monster in me.”

Soras heart leaped in chest as Bachiras whole persona changed in front of her but there was something that she resonated with, like she could understand what this monster was in Bachira.

“A monster? I don’t follow.”

“Whenever I play soccer, it comes out and talks to me.” Bachira explains, dribbling the ball toward Isagi. “Telling me to score a goal or weave about more.” His foot stops the ball for a mere moment before weaving in between his feet, Isagi ran after him while Sora waited back, of serving the two of them. “But this time it was different. This time it said ‘pass to Isagi and to Sora. There’s monsters inside them too.’

“Are you for real?” Isagi couldn’t understand what Bachira was going on about, thinking how unhinged this guy was.

Sora sees her chance, Bachira stops long enough for her to steal the ball off him, choosing to bounce the ball off her knees as Bachira smirked in approval. “When I’m on the field I listen to its voice, that's all there is to it. Can’t you hear the monsters voice? I know blueberry can.”

‘Can I? Is that what it is? That thing that speaks to me whenever I try to drown out my ego?’

“And her monster likes a good chase.”

Maybe Bachira understands that and her more than she ever realized. Someone in touch with the monster inside them. “All the best players have monsters inside them, must be what it takes to be a striker. We’ll that’s what I believe.” Bachira takes back the ball from Sora, kicking it upwards. “You know. I’m glad I came here Isagi, because I got to meet you and Sora.”

Sora felt her cheeks get hot while Isagi stared blankly at Bachira. “Want to try again?”

“Yeah.” ‘What’s wrong with this guy? He’s talking nonsense and yet…”

“Come on!”

‘He’s stoking the flames! Just like Sora does’

Speaking of the girl she cartwheels in before crouching low to steal the ball right back off Bachira, her eyes lighting up just like Isagis are. Bachira pulls back the ball fast enough to avoid her, Isagi seeing this move gets inspired himself and sweeps his leg down after the ball. “Yeah! Now that’s more like it!”

Before the three could continue their training session, the PA goes off, announcing the fitness tests had been finalised and that they should return to their rooms to see their new ranking.

~

Still in their Bluelock soccer suits, the three make their way back to their dorm, immediately greeted by an excited Igarshi. “Hey Isagi! I shot up from my old rank! From 300 all the way to 275 now baby!”

Sora glanced at his arm to see he was indeed telling the truth about his new rank even though she found it so hard to believe he got that hood in such a short span of time.

“What? Impressive…”, he seemed genuinely shocked too.

“You guys are moving up too! Check it!”, Sora peaks at Isagis first to see his rank had soared up to 274 from his previous 299. 1 rank higher than Igarshi.

Whilst Igarshi blabbed to Isagi about their new rival relationship, Sora looked at her own rank. She had been placed at 267. An improvement for sure but she still had players that were ahead of her.

And one of them was right next to her.

Bachira seemed much more invested in Soras rank rather than his own, his lips twitching upwards realizing how close she was to catching up to him.

“Well well, hello there, my little diamonds in the rough. Enjoying life at Bluelock? I certainly hope so.”

Raichi growls at the screen. “Argh! Cut the crap man. You put us in this crummy environment. How the hell are we supposed to improve at this rate.”

A few of the other boys seemed to agree, particularly that of Naruhaya. “I demand to have better food man!”

“Weren’t you the one that stole the ‘better’ food?”, Sora asked him with a raised brow to which the boy clutched his stomach, turning away to hide his apparent guilt.

“So not the point!”

“The environment is crummy because it matches your crummy soccer skills.”

Even Sora felt a little offended at that one.

“Let’s talk a little more about Bluelock. In this facility there are a total of 25 teams from B to Z, split into five groups with five buildings. By the way, each group lost one person so in total there are 275 players left.”

Sora laughed the moment poor monk boy realised he hadn’t made any progress at all. “So that means I’m still dead last?! I got hyped for nothing!!”

Isagi looked at Sora with an expression that practically said ‘really?’. She just shrugged,gesturing to Igarshi having a meltdown. “What? He’s funny.”

He shook his head. ‘Between him and Bachira I have no idea whose crazier….’

Ego continued to explain how the rankings decided which players fit into which teams, letting all the players in team z know that they were the worst players out of the bunch.

‘I’m starting to think Ego doesn’t exactly excel with people skills’

Sora could see Isagi survey the room, at his team mates realized that everyone within the room was delegated into the ‘worst players’ team. She could see the panic etched into his eyes.

She shook her head, then punched him in the side of his ribs. “Ow! Sora what the hell-“

“We’ve got nowhere to go but up.”

Isagi looked at Sora whilst clutching his side, now realizing that in Soras own unique way, that she was trying to help him.

Just like she’s been doing this whole time. “R-Right. Thanks for that.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“When you’re here the top soccer players are king. If you want the luxury than you must win.”

Some of her fellow team mates only glared at the screen whilst others like Raichi glowered at the players, arguing with Kunigami whilst Kuon tried to diffuse the tension.

“We’re supposed to turn this into a team? Fucking perfect.”

Bachira wrapped his around her shoulder. “Oh don’t be so stiff Blueberry.”

“You do see what we have to work with right?”

“Yeah I do.”

She looked at him as he said that but Bachira wasn’t looking at his team.

He was only looking at her.

“Now that you know the rules. It’s time to begin the first selection. “

Bachira tore his gaze away and finally it felt like Sora could breathe again, her heart was racing under her rib cage.

The first selection was about to begin, her secret only known by that of Chigiri. Friendships were starting to form and rivialy would blossom.

Ego doesn’t seem to care much about whatever relationships that we’re beginning to form under his mentorship, explaining to Team Z how exactly the selection worked.

“The first selection will involve the 55 of you in building 5, it’s a kind of five team round Robin. Only the top two teams will move on to the second selection. It’s a survival match.”

“So what. The eleven of us in group Z will be playing together as a proper team? But everyone here is a foreword.” Chigiri observed, the others quickly starting squabble over who will get the coveted forward position.

Isagi was starting to understand why Sora was hesitant with this group. ‘A team made of eleven forwards? How’s that going to work.’

“Don’t you know? Soccer was originally all about scoring , over the years you’ve been imprinted with stupid notions of positions and strategies on the field. Soccer originally started out with everyone as a striker.”

Jinpachi face goes firm for his next few words, his eyes looking down at the group with a serious ferociousity. “So play the game as intended. Dig deep inside and create soccer from zero.”

‘Create soccer from zero… hmmm’, Sora held her hand to chin in thought, pondering these very words like the rest of her new team were.

She didn’t know the answer yet, but she knew Ego was giving them a key that would be essential to succeeding here at Bluelock.

“Abandon common sense and shove new concepts in those small brains of yours. Right now what Japan needs isn’t eleven players who work as a team. What we need is a solitary hero. Messi, Christiano Ronaldo, Neymar and Hisaya. Soccers evolution is limitless because of stars like these.”

Chigiri looked at the prodigy daughter of Kazuma, seeing her hands now balled into fists at the mention of her father, he wished he could make things easy for her but doing that in a room full of strangers could out her secret.

So he settle with a simple knowing look, one Sora caught, Chigiri only nodding and the girl felt her tension ease. She too gave him a nod, with a smile one that silently told the boy. ‘Thank you.’

They both turn back to Ego, still monologing on his screen. “One persons actions could change a team, or the world. That’s the power this sport possesses.”

“Are you prepared to fight your way to the top?! Here inside of Bluelock!”

She knew things would start to livin up very soon and Sora was ready.

Or so she thought.

~

Elsewhere…..

Sae Itoshi was bored.

As skilled as the young man was, no one stoked the flames out on the field. He wouldn’t play against any regular passing athlete. If he was going to play it , would be against people worthy of him.

It wasn’t until he witnessed one of the BlueLock press conferences where something in him felt alive. He listened to this woman preach on about their plans to create the ultimate striker, to change the fate of Japanese soccer forever.

These words resonated with him, alit something in him that laid dormer for quite some time.

“Sae? Your flight to Spain-“

“Cancel it.”

His assistant gawker at the star athlete in shock, the boys eyes locked on the room of reporters and members of the said Bluelock commitee.

“I want to see what they forge with my own two eyes.”

It was then he took out his phone, seeing a message from one of the only people who could invoke the slightest hint of interest.

Sora Hisaya.

“Hey dumbass! Got selected into some special elite program or whatever so I’m going to be gone for a while.”

“You better keep practicing otherwise I’ll get ahead of you.”

“Try not to miss me too much kay?.”

Sae wouldn’t allow himself to viably react in public but he had quickly put two and two together.

He knew where Sora was and if that were the case, in interest in the Bluelock project only heightened further.

| Masterlist | 0.5 | 01 | 02 | 03 (coming soon)

[ccghastly]

The Van der Linde Fellas as Hybrids

Arthur:

Some kinda Mastiff Dog.

He's big and playful, knows his own size and he's not afraid to use it, very family focused, will protect his pack if its the last thing he does.

His ears are a bit raggedy, his tail was cropped. Used to drool a lot as a pup and Hosea does not let him live it down, playing with Jack always makes his tail wag. Growls and grumbles a lot, but often doesn't mean anything by it.

John:

Raccoon

Greasy trash panda, stealing other peoples shinies and taking no responsibility.

Screeches at Arthur 24\7, will not admit to being chased up multiple trees by him when they were young. Has little caches of stuff absolutely everywhere. If you lose him, he's where he's not meant to be, look in the place you'd least like him to be first and there you will find him, very confused on how Hosea always finds him so fast.

Hosea:

Maine Coon

Blends into high society, hates strangers, likes being in the company of his family, an excellent hunter, very motherly towards his boys.

Spends his evenings before the camp's fire, bushing out his fur. Drags Arthur and John over to be groomed if they get too close, Arthur gets too close suspiciously often, John is suspiciously far away. Very charming, knows how to sway his tail just right to make people notice him, also knows how to blend in and appear like any other average domestic breed.

Dutch:

Says he's a raven but is actually a shiny cowbird.

Kinda detrimental to those around him but not maliciously, promiscuous with no set partner, offloads much of the physical work onto others, a conman that knows how to fit in.

Is very proud of his iridescent plumage, flirts and preens incessantly, flares his wings when trying to make a point and be dramatic. Once accidentally set his tail feathers on fire when preening too close to the campfire, pouted in his tent until they grew back and Hosea stopped laughing.

Bill:

Some kind of cat, I lean towards a Lion.

He's grumbly, likes a lot of naps, will pitch in if asked but leaves most of running around to his pride, a big boy, patrols his territory.

His mane is kinda scraggly and the gang does indeed make fun of him for it. If there's a sunbeam he's napping in it. Hates the cold. Loves snuggles and physical affection but will die before admitting it.

Sean:

Husky

Has a flair for the dramatic, loud, listens to no one unless it benefits him, enjoys 'singing'. When it's time to work, it's time to work. Can't focus unless he has a job to do, works well with others.

Tail wagging & tongue out 90% of the time. Constantly trying to tackle Arthur into play fights. Sheds like a mf and gets offended when called out about it.

Micah:

Vampire Finch

You know he's up to nothing good but you can't seem to stop him before he does damage. Picks away at people until they're too exhausted to fight back.

Enjoys eating his meat as bloody as he can get it, preens more than you'd think but his feathers are still constantly a bit ragged. Struts around camp with his feathers fluffed out to look bigger, loves to poke and pick at people then fly off when they retaliate. Constantly lands rudely close to hitting people. Will dive bomb you.

Charles:

Mustang

Protects his herd, can roam alone but prefers company, not afraid of hard work. Knows when to pick his battles. Quiet, but says a lot if you know how to read him.

Enjoys taking the time in the morning to carefully braid his mane. He's a big boy and is very conscious of that fact. Careful with every movement. When alone together will stealthily scritch Arthur's ears to watch his tail wag, does accept retaliatory scritches, mutual grooming is the ultimate act of friendship.

Javier:

Ornate hawk eagle

Flashy and fancy but gets the job done, strikes hard and fast.

Preens his wings a lot, hates when his feathers and crest get disorderly, says it feels wrong. Dutch has him fly up and scout the way. Coordinates outfits so they match his plumage.

[pilot-boi]

(Apologies, midget was not meant to be derogatory or used maliciously, it was meant to show Jaune's mental state deteriorating as panic set in and he became a little unhinged from seeing Ruby the first time and then Roman and Cinder shows up. That was poorly done of me, tone did not carry though well enough, sorry)

(Also, Roman isn't dead, he jumped out. Roman's not crazy, plus he still needs to get Bunny Kicked by Juniper.)

(Cinder also survives. Shes like a cockroach, and Jaune opens the door enough to remember that she always shows back up with more scars and less sanity. Totally axes her infiltration plans, though.)

(Cinder, hilariously, has no memory of what happened. She thinks Roman is making up the giant Jackalope kicking the Bullhead. Then Jaune and Alyx ruin at least two more of her plans and she will scream at Jaune "I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE!". For irony. )

(P.s. sorry again)

In future, don’t use slurs to indicate tone, use swears. At least that way you’re not, ya know, being incredibly offensive

Also Jaune would never, even when deteriorating mentally/emotionally. This is the same guy that was getting his ass kicked every day by Cardin and still was about to fight when he saw Velvet getting bullied. Jaune would NEVER

Don’t do it again

Tone mistakes aside, of course they both live

Roman probably took one look at the rapidly growing bunny and was like “Fuck this shit I’m out” and straight up abandoned Cinder. Lie, cheat, steal, and survive indeed

Cinder, meanwhile, of course has too much freaking pride to abandon ship. Get exploded, girly

And let’s be real, 90% of the infiltration plan could still happen. Cinder isn’t involved in most of it, because to be completely honest she BARELY passes as a teenager as it is

So Neo, Emerald, and Mercury could still completely infiltrate, they’d just need a fourth team member. Not that it’ll matter, since we have future knowledge, but they don’t know that

The amnesia thing is hilarious though. Cinder is gonna gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss her way through this whole situation, meanwhile Roman sounds like a crazy person

[winterlovesong1]

Reasons to tune into Pod Meets World....

1.     The Dynamic - I’m defining dynamic as both the amount of voices/hosts and the general vibe/aura of the conversation/relationship between the hosts. Anyways, however you take that, it’s perfection - the balance of having three (Rider, Will, and Danielle) distinct opinions, personalities, and perspectives, but more importantly, these three. Yes they sometimes agree in the shared experience, but every individual approaches the look back differently, from where each of them stood at the time and how they compare that to where they are now in their lives, in their journey. The particular concoction of these three sparks magic and I’m all for catching the flares.

2.     The Length of Time the Show Has Been Off Air - I’m not going state this as an absolute, because I certainly do not have vast knowledge on the matter, but in general, BMW is definitely one of the oldest shows that is currently doing a rewatch podcast. By being nearly 30 years off air, the hosts (as well as the audience) gain an objective, educated, responsible opinion about the experience – the hosts, as participants in that experience, and the audience as viewers of what was showcased on television week after week, mostly likely during their childhood or preteen years. Also, it allows for, what I stated above, a comparison of opinion, growth of people over a period of time – for both active participant and audience member.

3.     The Rewatch Episodes of the Podcast - They go SCENE BY SCENE - let me tell you when I say I LIVE for this type of organization and detail. Danielle is the one that typically (at least as of today) narrates the episode – giving a scene descriptor, illustrating the setting as well as the characters within the scene, as well as highlighting specific lines that were said. This is all given for context before the opinions of the hosts are shared about said scene. Also, when they do conduct a rewatch, it’s done in such a honest, sincere and never malicious way – yes the opinions might have negative connotations – I mean these are adults who have come to terms with what was occurring during their childhood essentially and some of that reflection comes with brutal honesty – good or bad. We all have pasts, that now as we are older, we look back on and sift into an either that was beautiful or “that was NOT OK” bucket - but as I stated above, so much time as passed that those opinions are given so eloquently - it honestly warms my heart they are able to share this with each other (and us as the audience) so openly.

4.     The Guest Interview Episodes of the Podcast – So the organization of this podcast, I’ve already mentioned, but let it be known they SEPARATE OUT the interview of the guest from the rewatch podcast episode. Yes, they might have that same guest join them on the rewatch episode, but the guest interview does not override the rewatch of the said episode they were featured in or that is next in line to discuss. They allow the space. They allow the interview to breath apart from digging into the details of an episode. And not only do they have cast, but they include so many that were instrumental in making the show what it was. A very smart move also, is they have commentary from 90’s era personalities/actors/actresses on other shows or media at the time, not just their show. AND reporters/writers/creatives that can give an outside perspectives/opinions to their very close knit perspective of being present on the show.

5.     Life Experience - this ties heavily into point number two, but the life experience that has been held by all the hosts brings a level of maturity to the rewatch podcast that is so nice. It’s honest open conversation. Opinions are given thoughtfully and purposefully, deliberately but not catty, and I love that. We might not all get “wiser” as we get older, but I feel like (speaking for myself) we gain a bit of grace in how we relay our story to the world.

6.     How Long Since I’ve Watched the Show – This is more a personal point and may not be valid for others, but I feel it’s important to include in this quasi review no one asked for. Despite it being a favorite of mine from childhood, the last time I watched this show - really watched it fully all the way through - my estimated guess would be preteen Winter dashing home after school to catch a blessed rerun, watching the (hopefully if I was lucky) back to back episodes making it a joyous hour block of TV before - or as I argued at the time - “while” I did my homework. And so going back and watching it as an adult - a thirty something who doesn’t “dash” as fast as she used to -  doesn’t have homework of the traditional kind - those household chores do not get checked off on their own accord, who is no longer a preteen whose life is defined by vocabulary quizzes, the latest hair accessories, and frozen snack foods made in the midst of inside jokes with my best  friends, it’s truly revelatory – and I don’t mean to say that as a hyperbole, but I’m finding as I go through the episodes, I relate to them COMPLETELY differently, and yet the LOVE for them still remains – the show carries with it this hazy memory/nostalgia for me – I know the general route, but the turns, the exact roads, the sites I’m seeing along the way, are a surprise.

  If you leave something long enough, and come back to it, there’s truly something new to be found. Let’s use an appropriate metaphor here – that light wash embroidered denim jacket in the back of your closet – there’s some gold threads you never saw before in that worn item you used to love, threads you didn’t see before because age didn’t allow for it, life experience didn’t allow for it, but now you catch it, catch the sparkle and the gleam, and think to yourself “this is why I loved this so much…”