#A KISAME PILLOW!!!!!!

[yowyowyaoi]

*at an Akatsuki meeting*

Pein: Alright, guys; as you know we’ve been having some severe financial problems lately.

Kakuzu: More than severe; we’re practically bankrupt.

Pein: Right. So, Konan had an idea that may help us generate some money. Konan?

Konan: Thank you, Pein. As some of you may be aware, body pillows are the latest trend these days. Not just any body pillows, but ones with pictures on them that the buyer finds to be “attractive”. Based on a recent poll, it’s been determined that Deidara, Itachi and Hidan are deemed the most attractive persons in this group, so —

Zetsu: What are you talking about? When I took that poll, YOU beat out all three of those guys by thousands of votes…

Konan: Oi, you’re not using MY image on something some perverted old man is going to buy and do terrible things to!

Konan: But anyways … *brings out the prototypes of the three boys’ pillows* This is what we’re going to be selling. Kakuzu has launched a website and —

Hidan: *grabbing his pillow* Holy shit I look fucking HOT!! Hey, ‘Kuzu … you want one for your room?

Kakuzu: And give myself nightmares? Pass.

Itachi: I … I’m not so sure I’m comfortable with my image being used for such a thing … but I suppose I’m grateful that in spite of my health issues I’m still found to be physically desirable.

Deidara: Oi … why am I shirtless?! Nobody wants to see the weird mouth on my chest, hm! I —

Kakuzu, on his laptop: The Deidara pillow just sold out.

Konan: W-what?? But we just launched the website and he had over 5,000 units! What the —

Tobi: That’s great, Senpai! Er, unrelated question but, Kakuzu-san … what do you do when you max out three credit cards at once?

Kakuzu:

Kisame: T-Tobi, did you —

Tobi, in Obito voice: Don’t you dare judge me, shark-boy. I’ve wanted this man for a year, and if THIS is the only way I get to cuddle him while I sleep, then so be it.

Deidara:

Everyone else:

[sharkfinx]

[strawberryeclips]

Not that it's important or anything but....

A body pillow cover, an actual really nice one of Kisame Hoshigaki would fix everything in my life.

Excellent art of other Akatsuki members would also be nice on pillows, but we're taking about KissyKissy right now

[saintrocklee]

this pussy pops for kisame and kisame only

[ladykissingfish]

*Christmas morning*

Deidara: *bursts into Itachi’s room, with Hidan and Tobi on his heels*

Deidara: C’mon Uchiha! It’s already 9, it’s time to open some —

Deidara: *stops when he notices Kisame sitting at Itachi’s side, rubbing his back with both hands*

Kisame: Guys, Itachi is having one of his bad pain days. You guys go and open things; he’ll open his gifts when he feels up to it.

*the three leave and Itachi buries his face in his pillow*

Itachi, voice muffled: I’m sorry, Kisa. I’m ruining Christmas for you. You should be out there with everyone else, not stuck in here with some stupid sick —

Kisame: Hush, Itachi. You are my love and when I married you, I promised I’d take care of you always. *gets up and goes to the dresser, getting some pills and a bottle of water* Now it’s time for your next dose. Say “ahh”.

*Itachi takes the pills and sighs*

Itachi: And we’re missing Konan’s special christmas morning pancakes, and the —

Kisame: Now, now; I’m sure she’ll make you some anytime you wish. Stop worrying and focus on relaxing.

Itachi: But —

*Itachi’s door opens again and this time it’s everyone in the Akatsuki, coming in with arms loaded down with presents*

Kisame: What is —

Hidan: It ain’t Christmas without you and red-eyes, shark-dick.

Tobi: If you don’t feel good to get up, then you can stay there, Itachi-san, and we’ll have Christmas in here!

Konan: *coming in with a platter of steaming pancakes, followed by Nagato and Kakuzu with plates and drinks* Everyone take two to start with, alright? Itachi, I made them with extra cinnamon sugar, just how you like them!

Deidara: *sits on the floor by Itachi’s head* I get to feed you, and Danna will be opening your presents for you, hm!

Itachi: *looks around at everything*

Itachi, tearing up: This is … y-you guys are the best …

Zetsu: *gently pats Itachi’s head* We feel the same way about you, child. Now let’s begin the festivities! We —

*from the living room*

Tobi: G-guys? I think we have a problem …

Kakuzu, yelling: What did you do out there??

Tobi: Tobi was gonna move the tree to Itachi’s room, but Tobi accidentally dropped it on the table, and it fell on the candles, and .. and the tree might be on fire …

Everyone else:

Everyone else: *runs out of room to do damage control*

Itachi: *bursts into tears*

Kisame: Aw, baby, it’s okay, don’t cry! They’ll put the fire out and everything will —

Itachi: It’s not that! It’s … when I was growing up we’d always start Christmas by using our fireball jutsu to burn the tree. Now it really DOES feel like the best christmas ever!

Kisame:

[phlebaswrites]

Floating Through Life (On the Water)

Summary:

Kisame might be from Mizu no Kuni, but not all water is the same.

(Some things cannot be drunk without risk.)

Rating: Explicit Fandom: Naruto Relationship: Hoshigaki Kisame/Uchiha Itachi Word Count: 531 (Complete)

Entry for @kisames-corner

Day 1 - March 15: Samehada as a cat | Tea Shops | The Gift he Never Knew he Wanted

This story is a gift to @woofgang69 and @hidendumbassvillage who inspired it.

My apologies for the late submission!

"What are these for?" Kisame picks up one of the eggs, weighing it in his palm thoughtfully. "It's not as if we're going to be cooking."

"They're for you," long fingers gesture elegantly, brushing over the other two eggs still lying next to the pillow. "Traditionally, over the next six nights, you would eat the yolks and rub the whites between my thighs before we sleep, venturing higher with every evening."

"And, on the seventh night…?" Kisame doesn't really need to ask, he can see the answer already, but it's always good to know.

Read the rest on AO3.

[mikeysbabygirl]

Itachi Uchiha 😩 Lina ! First of all hope you're fine, and I'm here to talk about ITACHI

Like, everyone portrays him as a soft Dom! Who makes soft sex, and I'm okay with this ! But the guy is like 22 and probably only had sex a few times, I can't help but imagine he'd be a hidden ( cute ) pervy! Like not the scary one, but ya know 👀

𝑪𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑 𝒊𝒕

Warning : MINORS DNI, 18+. MASTURBATION, VOYEURISM, CUTE OBSESSED ITACHI UCHIHA. You've been warned.

Right ? I feel like this too whenever I read something with 'tachi ! Like, yes I'm absolutely okay with the soft Dom! Thing, but let's be honest :

ITACHI UCHIHA who's almost constantly stuck at the Akatsuki hideouts, only surrounded by his co-workers daily.

ITACHI UCHIHA who thinks it's just a usual mission they sent him to, both him and Kisame had to move in a new small house throughout the said mission, no one would suspect it being a hideout.

Not even you, who with your eternal kindness cooked a pie to offer your new neighbors, knocking at their door with one of your most beaming smiles.

ITACHI UCHIHA who hadn't felt his heart beating that fast so suddenly since years, after he opened the door thinking Kisame was back, only to be greeted with one of the most endearing creatures to ever graze his eyes.

ITACHI who stays there frozen, too starstruck while the words were flowing out of your pretty lips right to his mad heart.

-" This... For us ?" He asked, still confused, staring at the pie you've put in his hands after introducing yourself.

-" Mhm hm ! Consider it my way to welcome you here ! Around, there's only old people " you sighed, rolling your eyes. " Feels nice to see some young and handsome faces ".

Handsome? Welcome ? Did you really meant all those words or were they only sugar coated arrows ? Because if they were aimed right to his heart, fulfilled mission !

ITACHI wide awake in his bed at night, wondering and thinking until even the walls could have talked back. And everytime he'd close his eyes, your smile floated in the usual darkness behind them.

Why were you so kind ? What were your ulterior motives? There was a lifetime gap between him and the last time someone has looked at him with so much... Warmth. No judgement, just a bare soul through your bright pupils. For someone who has been only surrounded by lies, masks and blood, your purity was blinding.

ITACHI didn't even opened his curtains the first days, until one day where he only wanted to stargaze after a heavy workout and well, how could he have ever imagined your window was right in front of his...

ITACHI feeling as if the abysses were swallowing him the minute you stepped out of the shower, and for once in his life his eyes were not... Enough.

Not enough, should they be following the water drop falling from your wet hair and coursing through your so seemingly soft skin? Or should they be eyeing the bounces of your breasts with each gracious step of yours toward your bed ? Maybe the moves of your buttocks in the panties you were wearing as your only pajamas?

ITACHI who doesn't remember the last time he'd felt such a pain, aching in his lower belly all down his crotch. It felt like a thousand wildfires down there, and soon the only way he could think of to soothe the ache was wrapping his hand around his cock.

ITACHI'S heart sinking deeper in his chest, guilt ripping his skin , but desire blooming in his guts. Those bright pupils staring right at your sleeping shape, twisting in bed sheets, silk wrapping so harmoniously around your skin as if it was part of it. Your eyelashes, parted rosey lips, bare chest rising with each breath, a living chef d'œuvre, a blank piece of paper and how he'd wished his mouth was the ink.

ITACHI who's near, he's close, he could feel a knot tightening in his belly with each stroke of his dick while you turned on your back and made the most delicate sound, hair splayed on the pillow. You were the muse to his high, and when he reached that latter that was your name flowing out of his broken whispers.

ITACHI who was too guilty to look at your eyes the next days, spotting you watering your plants at your front porch. But who still couldn't help closing his eyes at night, activating Tsukuyomi.

And there you were, under your shower, innocently letting the water wash away your sins while his sins only were multiplying.

Under the tsukuyomi, he could feel the dulcet skin, and he was those aqua droplets, kissing each inch of your velvet. Thousand eyes, all his, were drinking your fetch, your wet lashes around your ravishing hues, glossy lips, labyrinthining between the valley of your breasts, dripping between your thighs.

ITACHI'S name in heaven was a profanity, yet he never felt so close from Elysium, with your naked body as a poem engraved in his mind's canvas.

ITACHI who would never touch you against your will, or in your sleep. Understand him please, he's none but a weak young man worshipping his goddess, how could you blame him when you were the one who approached him with your pretty face and endearing voice ?

He feels guilty to use his Tsukuyomi, such a pure God's gift for such... Dirty sins. But the same minute where the clock stops, and the reality disappears, when he'd be surrounded by void and you intertwined in your bedsheets breathing so softly, all conscience is thrown away to relieve the pain in his cock, pumping the length with his hair thrown back, Adam apple bobbing as he gulps down, whispering your name under his breath.

- " Love, you're so... Fucking beautiful. Can't you see how hard you make me, pretty girl ?" He'd whisper, and at some point he's almost sure a small whimper has left your lips, was it his wishful thinking?

ITACHI who knows by the end of that mission, would never be able to rip you away of his skin after you successfully moved in his heart. He is a man of few words, but a strong will, a will roaring to make you his, to have you scream his name as he fills you with his cum, finally feels your pussy clenching around his cock. And believe him, he will.

Okay lol, anon, you started this. I just had to contribute 😇

Anyways, I love this man <3

@tokyo-ballroom @downtown-roponggi

[deaththesyd]

Too Cute For Boundaries

Heyo y'all, I wrote a thing.

Summary: Kisame can't seem to find a reason to get up right now.

Kisame had awoken early in the morning, gently roused by the start of gentle rainfall tapping against the thin window. Dim barely there light was fighting its way through the same window despite the cloud cover, signalling the start of another long day of travelling with only a thread of a real lead on the whereabouts of their target. Not a man that shirked off duty, it was abnormal for him to continue lying still in the bed. It wasn’t even comfortable, somehow managing just the right balance of lumpy, squishy, odd-smelling, and scratchy fabric to make him genuinely long to be camping outside. It wasn’t comfort that kept him still, even as he focussed on the most minute sounds of movement through the thin walls of Itachi’s room. 

Cuddled up to him to fend off the chill that seeped through the poorly insulated building was the reason for his procrastination. Waking up with the shrimp snuggled up to him wasn’t even that irregular of an occurrence by now, but still, sometimes it made him pause. He wouldn’t say he was desperate for human contact, nor was he lonely, and despite knowing she was far more innocent than he could even pretend to be, it wasn’t that either. Something about waking up with her tucked safely to his side just made him want to savour it anyway. 

Maybe she could feel his eyes on her, or maybe even sense his puzzled emotions, or possibly she was just accustomed to the usual wake-up times her shinobi companions maintained. Either way, she began to stir, her breathing became slightly heavy and her face scrunched, and she flexed her hands, the one that was resting on him dug into his skin briefly before she released and began to stretch the rest of her body. Unfurling from her spot against him with a groggy groan, rolling back and forth, bumping into him, allowing her body to contort in whichever way it craved without remorse for how it affected him, before finishing her morning routine by rolling onto him and finally relaxing. If it was anyone else, he would have simply shoved them out of the bed. 

Not that he shared his bed with anyone else regularly, and certainly not repeatedly.

Why he even allowed it? He supposed it was part of the reason he had still yet to move.

“Morning,” she said, her voice scratchy and soft, waking up the same as her. Still settled partly on top of him, she had yet to open her eyes, taking the opportunity to rest for as long as she could get away with. But the noise from the adjoining room had become deliberately more noticeable, Itachi’s polite warning for them to get going. 

A gruff sigh helmed his morning greeting, the closest to irritation he could manage as the shrimp finally opened her eyes and looked up at him. “We’ve gotta get up, ‘Tachi’s getting impatient.” 

His voice came out as a rumble thanks to the added pressure of the pesky guppy using him as a pillow, sighing out a “Kay,” while not moving a single muscle to do so. After another moment he let out a chuf of disbelieving laughter.

“Why do I let you get away with the things you do?” He asked aloud, mostly to himself, but she always had an amusing answer to give.

"It's 'cause I'm cute," she said coyly.

He wasn’t going to argue with that, and neither would believe him no matter how he denied it, so instead, he tried playing her game. 

"Oh, so I'm not?"

Her giggle was near silent, mostly a few intakes of breath, but he could feel her shaking him with the entirety of her body anyway. "Of course you are, you're adorable!"

"Well then-" he then proceeded to stretch similarly to her, rolling around the bed and forcing her to fall off of him till he mimicked her and rested the majority of his weight  on top of her, "I guess I'll stretch too!" This was met with protest, her voice strained from his extra weight pressing her into the mattress, but her wheezing giggles made it clear she wasn't all that bothered. Plus, she was definitely awake now, but Kisame’s survival instincts were alerting him of a grumpy Uchiha a thin wall away from them patiently waiting to leave, so he carefully rolled off of her and got to grabbing his belongings. 

Another long day of work was ahead of them.

[zombiboon]

A Genjutsu Date with Itachi .

I couldn't sleep, and seeing a campfire scene led me to listening campfire ambience + lo-fi playlists and then that led me to writing this at 1AM. Unedited bc I'm lazy.

Warnings: None Characters: Itachi Uchiha, Kisame (Briefly Mentioned) Tags: gn! reader, fluff, sleepless nights, campfires, nicknames/couple pet names Date Posted: may 10th, 2022

The pitter-patter of the rain absorbed all your attention; it had for a while now. You had been staring out the window for what felt like hours now, staring endlessly into the nightly rainstorm with you only separated from the wind chills and downpour by the walls of the hotel. You adjusted the blanket around your shoulders, tugging it back around you for more comfort. 

Kisame’s snores reached your ears, surprisingly delicate for a man of his stature. You envied his ability to just… pass out the moment his head hit a pillow. 

“Darling?” 

Itachi’s calm voice was quieter than usual— likely to keep the silence for the lone sleeping person in the room. You turned to Itachi, seeing him sat up in his futon, his Akatsuki cloak hung over his shoulders. His eyes were black for once, no longer that striking crimson red of the Sharingan; even he needed proper rest. You mutter a soft apology for waking him but he was quick to shake his head. “You haven’t.”

He crawled out of his futon and walked over to you, footsteps silent as ever as he once was trained to do so. He sat on the window’s bench, across from you, causing you to tuck in your knees. “You haven’t gone to bed at all tonight, what’s keeping you up?”

To be honest, you don’t have a clue; you weren’t able to take a nap, and you weren’t sick, you just couldn’t sleep. Thankfully, you didn’t need to explain. Itachi reached his hand out, letting his thin and calloused fingers soothingly rub your hand in comfort. “Then, what do you think will help?”

You took a glance over towards him, taking in his features which were half lit in the moonlight. His slim, striking eyes that only seemed to soften in that specific way around you, his heavy tear-troughs, and his subtle smile, only noticeable by the corners of his lips. You took a quick glance back outside, exhaling sharply through your lips as you gazed down towards the endless forest outside. There was something tempting about heading out there, starting a fire and sitting in front of it until daybreak. You clenched onto the edges of your blanket as you stated, “A date.”

He seemed taken aback by your request, lips parting in surprise. But he followed your eyes, gazing out into an open area in the forest; the perfect place for a campfire. His lips pressed firmly into a line. “Darling, it’s pouring out there, you’d get a cold.” In Itachi fashion, of course his mind remained on solely you instead of including himself. “And a fire wouldn’t last in the rain.”

You shrunk at his words, a little disappointed but you expected it. “That doesn’t mean we cannot have a date by a campfire.” His words caused you to perk right back up with intrigue and some subtle excitement as you eagerly waited to listen to his idea. He leaned in and cupped your cheek, thumb dragging across your skin. He tilted your head upwards, bringing your eyes to meet his. No longer were his eyes the onyx black, now they returned to that crimson shade that always seemed to shine in the shadows. 

The world around you twisted and distorted— there was no need for subtleness when you’d come to the conclusion quickly anyways. The hotel room faded away as the real world disappeared, your senses departing from reality. The next thing you heard was the howling of wind and crickets chirping in the distance, but the main thing that attracted your attention was the crackling and popping sound in front of you, accompanied by a nice warmth. You finally let your eyes flutter open, you have no idea when you closed them but you did. 

You sat on a half log bench in the middle of a forest, a lively fire burned bright in front of you, lighting the area with a warm light; its embers and smoke glided towards the starry sky. You caught on to the smaller things such as the faint flow of a river in the distance, or how a raven would flap its wings and fly off into the sky, blending into the purple hues of the night. Admittedly, you couldn’t stop the smile from your face. Even if it was another one of Itachi’s genjutsus, it was calm and relaxing, it brought your soul to ease. 

As you relaxed, leaning forward, you heard subtle footsteps behind you. You tore your eyes away from the dancing flames just in time to see Itachi stepping over the log bench then sitting down beside you. “Was this what you imagined?” he questioned. When you nodded in response, he smiled. “Good.”

He swung something over you, his Akatsuki cloak, and he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. With a small press of his fingers, he guided you to resting against him, head laying on his shoulder. His hand gently rubbed your shoulder, comforting you. “Enjoy the warmth, my darling… And get your rest…” he whispered softly.

[yowyowyaoi]

*Kisame comes home after a mission*

Kisame: I’m back. ‘Tachi? Where are you?

Deidara: You don’t want to bother red-eyes, Kisame.

Hidan: Yeah; the fucker’s been acting crazy as hell for days!

Kisame: Crazy? Itachi? Surely you jest. Itachi’s one of the calmest, most rational people I know! 

Konan: Yesterday I brought home dango for dessert and he turned it down.

Kisame:

Kisame: *sprints into Itachi’s room*

Kisame: Itachi! Are you alright?? You —

Kisame: *stops and stares; Itachi’s eyes are extremely bloodshot, his hair is wild and his clothes are rumpled*

Kisame: … what happened? You look terrible!

Itachi: *wild laughter* Oh, Kisame!  Don’t play dumb with me! Tell me; do you think I’m stupid? You think I don’t recognize a challenge when I see it?! 

Kisame: What in the world are you talking about?

Itachi: *holds up a piece of paper* I found this on my pillow, the day you left! How dare you assume the Uchiha can’t rise to such mundane challenges! You —

Kisame: Itachi. What are you talking about?

Itachi: This! This note! *reads it* “Itachi, sleep is weak”! Ha! I’ll have you know I haven’t slept in five days, and I’m not even tired!

Kisame:

Kisame: Itachi. This is why you need to wear your glasses. 

Kisame: *takes the note and reads it out-loud* “Itachi, sleep this week.”

Itachi:

Itachi: I —

Kisame: Just get into your bed, please.

[kiigan]

@domhus ~ continued from [here]

ㅤA by-the-book moment of thinking I'm going to close my eyes for five seconds, only to wake up a whole hour later uncertain of one's whereabouts or what year it was.

ㅤIn Itachi's defense, he did try. They had Rōshi's body to deliver and, whereas there was no chance for the unfortunate man to return to consciousness, let alone escape, having tasks left unfinished had always been something to keep Itachi mildly restless - since the days of his childhood, pretty much. Being a genius in the absence of some degree of obsessiveness perfectionism was practically unheard of. With the gentle metronome of raindrops falling outside, however, and Kisame's voice lacing perfectly into it [where else would a shark belong, if not among the flowing of water?], it truly had not been long before exhaustion took him over and he conked out for good.

Kisame's shoulder made for a wonderful improvised pillow, too.

ㅤAt the very least, the unplanned nap was enough to grant him a little bit of rest and recovery; whilst, at the same time and in exchange, leaving him with a dull throbbing covering the whole area from around his eyes to the back of his temples. Nothing out of the ordinary; as of late, it was becoming rarer and rarer for Itachi to go a full day without any form of aching or general physical discomfort. With a soft, barely audible sigh, he brought a hand up to cradle the side of his head while slowly sitting up straight; already mourning the loss of comfort and warmth from his partner's larger figure, but it was what it was. Still feeling honestly too lazy to return full-on to work mode, however, Itachi instead offered a bit of friendly teasing.

«You have no proof that I was asleep.»

[sharkfinx]

<  @uchihacollector | cont’d >  stages of a break up

What a wonderful night! When the sunrays kiss his blue skin from the gaps of the curtain, Kisame lazily turns on the bed. Yawning, a stretch that moved the sheets from the bed. The morning's cold, the softness of the bed that calls for just another 5 minutes of sleep that almost makes him feel guilty for some reason. What’s wrong with a bit of comfort? He wishes for a little more as he nuzzles the pillow and finally opens his eyes.

He doesn’t pay attention to his surroundings as he gets up and brushes his teeth. His partner always had many secondary tasks whenever they stopped by any village. Just like Kakuzu with his bounties and Sasori with his art, as long as it didn't interfere with their main goal it was harmless. By the end of the day that same annoying dubious smile would show up as if nothing happened, rambling compliments to appease to his good side. Shrimp flavored rice crackers matched with bats of eyelashes are the key to him not get questioned.

"Writing is too bothersome as I thought… Something simpler shall do, Nee." 

His mind was too entertained with that simple date to give a second look on what happened in that place. He has always been a simple minded person, or just innocently excited with planning a simple celebration. 

“One whole year...” He whispers to himself as someone that tried to make a script.

Something simple. I nee something simple.

Kisame is back at their room, a tray filled with food (mostly from the complimentary breakfast.) is by his side on the bed as he sat there with crossed legs. There's three slices of bread, homemade mayonnaise, three boiled eggs and an Omurice.The shinobi picks one of the boiled eggs, peeling the shell; His own fault for doing it once, forgetting Orochimaru's tendencies of being spoiled and now having to do it every single time. Unless he wanted an annoyed gaze for the rest of the day as if had insulted him deeply.

That makes him chuckle as he takes another egg in his hands.

"Kekekekeke. He's such a weird person, my partner, neee. ~ " A joyful smile fills his face in a manner he only remembers from the past. Peeling scales of fishes that his mother caught during a long day of summer. At the last egg, the shining of the ring finally cut the denseness of Kisame's mind. A note? That should explain where he went this time.

"............" 

The glittering curtain that covered his days for the past one year finally drops.

5:00 pm

It 's evening now.

Denial. 

How long has he been staring at the same spot on the wall? Hand still holding on the same note as his face had stuck in the same expressionless gaze as the moment he got tired from rereading it over and over. He's drowned by feelings he doesn't understand and cannot comprehend. Stuck, frozen in place. He wants to puke his own guts; something hurts inside. He is unaware what. For a moment he wondered if he was poisoned or in a genjutsu. 

He finally moves, eyes staring at the breakfast tray. It especially stares at the Omurice which has a simple snake and shark drawn on it with ketchup. 

"What a bummer." His throat is dry as he forces a grin. 

He slowly lays down on the bed, his eyes are tired like his body for some reason. 

Maybe he was really poisoned.

Anger.

The next day his work truly starts; checking every bit of that room for a single clue. His missing note, the scratches on the floor, the clothes missing from his bag.

How could he not see it? It's almost like a yellow scroll in the middle of a green jungle.

Impossible to miss. 

What's wrong with a little comfort? That's his answer right there. He has to pay for the fine for staying longer than he’s supposed to be. 

Bargaining.

A week from that day is where he stands alone in their meeting, he's the only one by himself as the other pairs explained their gains from their last missions. Curious eyes waited for Kisame's turn like vultures. 

" He deserted. Orochimaru fled while I was asleep." There's silence, rude jokes that he doesn't listen well. There's demands and questioning that he also takes a while to process. What more he can explain? He  He got comfortable. It’s his fault.

" It was my fault, but If you wish for I—" Orochimaru wasn't a priority in their plans. Hunting him would only delay their next move, especially someone as Kisame. He can't really say anything about it, can he? 

He loves the comfort of following orders. The way he doesn't need to think or plan his own desires and seek them. 

Doesn't he? He agrees with Pain and quietly accepts his next mission.

Depression.

He's doing little jobs now as others get bigger missions for the time being. 

Eating is bothersome—he doesn't really need to eat everyday. That was a habit developed to be more human. He can go well for weeks with only one big meal. 

He catches himself cutting around the tenderloins again. Suddenly his appetite stops and he leaves the rest of the deer to the animals in the forest.

Kisame just keeps completing missions non stop—sleeping only when his body collapses, usually in a body of water where he stays at the floor until he regains consciousness again. Samehada complains daily in little grumbles of the quality of Kisame's chakra. It's too much but without any taste–But Kisame can't do much about it. He can't get bigger missions without a partner, and being paired with another pair made him want to pull his guts away. 

He tries to reassure Samehada, changing its bandages as an apology.

Acceptance.

"......There's no missions...right now." Zetsu exclaims, having to repeat it a second time. 

That's the first smile Kisame has in a month, with Samehada on his shoulder. " Then I shall spread my wings a little, could you warn the others?" 

As Zetsu nods and disappears, Kisame looks at the horizon. Bearing his fangs as he used to before.

It's time for the hunt to start.

That past year he learned a lot too. Kisame's dislike for long plans and alike wasn't a lack of intelligence but rather because it was boring. Talking, negotiating, bargaining; all of them were qualities the sannin had. He was always beside him, listening and watching. Subconsciously learning too.

He can't solely count with his own hunting skills—maybe if he started three days after he vanished or had any clues perhaps. From zero it would be a little harder.

He shows the note for the first ink's seller he finds.  “Excuse me, where I can buy this Premium Black starline Ink? Nee ~”

—----

Six times, it was six times where he was close to his goal. 4 entire months. Did he had any sleep at all? The excitement and adrenaline pumped his body every single time that scent turned stronger. Even his tactical plans had become better, no more useless fighting with minor pets. Let them drown between the crumbling walls and their bases. Only then he would then enter inside to check the gains—as long as anything precious would go back to Akatsuki's funds it was an excuse to continue his hunt. 

It's just too exciting to stop now. He feels truly more a beast than a human—driven only by that desire to find and end Orochimaru's life. Is that what desire tastes like? It's a powerful thing. Another thing he learned. He will be sure to thank him when he bites his head off.

Lighting country. 

The sky is clear, there’s no sign of rain soon. There's a distant tremor and a loud crash that scared the birds from the top of the mountains. Cracks on the wall that start slowly to leak water. Light rain starts to fall followed by a strong torrent from the top of the mountains that suddenly seems as if someone broke down a barricade. 

Another louder tremor.

Finally.

A thing jumps from the top, failing down right by the border of the platform. Samehada breaks the floor upon landing. The bigger figure has his face down, the shinobi doesn't need two hands now to do signs. The mist invades their stage and only his shadow can be seen. 

"Found you, neeee. My Cinderella.... Kekekekekekeke. ~" 

He knows better than anyone to sub underestimate one of the sannins; the shadow grows in size as Samehada's silhouette disappears. The monster is five sizes his own figure, on his fours it seems even larger.  Gray skin, claws that tap over the ceramic's floor. Dorsal fin is what can be seen the most in between the thick mist. 

This form had not been used before in that whole year, it was rather something he rarely needed to. However for this execution, everything needed to be special. To clean his mistakes—to end that headache of wrong choices. It's just like in the sea, the Monster of Kirigakure circles and circles. Until he attacks, he pins down the male figure down to the floor.

He lost weight.

His fangs are closer to their cheek, he breathes closer as he drools out of anticipation.

He changed his shampoo. 

Its time. 

Because killing his comrades is his special mission. What a terrible life.

and, The monster drags his tongue over Orochimaru's cheek. 

[saintrocklee]

mdni 18+ content

don’t mind me, just thinking about kisame as your older brother’s best friend who is accidentally your first kiss. you didn’t mean for him to be but it was a party, bottles were being spun, and your brother boo’d the whole time. you both laughed about it and that was that.

kisame as your older brother’s best friend who accidentally receives a text that was not meant for him. you immediately tell him “wrong number oh my god” and apologize for telling him that your bed is broken and asking if you can try his. kisame finds himself laughing at your ridiculous pick up line and tells you that there’s no way you’ll pull with that to which you respond with “tell that to my date Friday night” and suddenly kisame isn’t laughing anymore. very randomly the next day your brother tells you you’re not allowed to date until you’re married while kisame cackles from the kitchen and you call kisame a tattle tale rat and all is right in the world.

kisame as your older brother’s best friend who accidentally walks in on you changing. and, okay, you weren’t naked. just indecent. kisame’s seen you in a bathing suit and hardly batted an eye but catching you lifting your sweatshirt half way up and seeing your uncovered back and the underside of your breasts has him choking on his saliva. you let out a petrified noise and slam your door shut over the sounds of him coughing and apologizing. no one else is home, he’d let himself in to grab a charger he’d left behind, and is about halfway down the stairs when a pillow hits him on the back of his head. you’re calling him names and swearing and chasing him around with another pillow, and he’s dodging you and telling you he didn’t see anything until you’re both laughing and out of breath. things go back to normal. kind of. only now kisame knows what certain parts of you look like. but you don’t bring it back up and neither does he.

kisame as your older brother’s best friend who accidentally kisses you, again. only this time it really was an accident, he’d hadn’t seen you in a couple weeks and the family gathering he invited himself to had drinks and games and he’s letting loose, relaxing in a way he can’t in his own home. you’re not even supposed to be there, sometime about a girls trip he tries not to think about, but you show up anyway with a big smile and a hard jab to his side with your elbow. he catches you in a side hug and goes to plant a very brotherly kiss to the top of your head, because he’s kisame and he’s like a brother to you, images of the under side of your breasts be damned, only to miss completely and clumsily catch the side of your mouth. you’d titled your head up towards him at the wrong or maybe right moment and he pulls away blinking. you’re staring at him in shock before laughing and asking him how much he’s had to drink. he doesn’t answer and removes himself, not before ruffling your hair to re-establish the friendly line drawn between you. he tries and fails to not think about it for the rest of the night and things are … weird.

kisame as your older brother’s best friend who accidentally sees you on a date. he’s picking up takeout and stares unabashedly at you and some guy who’d look great with a broken jaw. before he can really process what he’s seeing and the burning twist in his gut he’s texting your brother who responds with a “yeah i know it’s some prick she knew in school” and kisame leaves, agitated and no longer hungry. he sees you a couple days later and asks about it before he can think better of it and you roll your eyes and tell him it was a one time thing, you were giving the guy a chance, but the whole thing was a bust. kisame ignores the elation he feels in his chest and the weight that slides off his shoulders and happily accepts part of the apple you’re cutting up. things are normal but not and kisame is too preoccupied with the way you delicately bite into the fruit to notice.

kisame as your older brother’s best friend who accidentally tells some he’s your boyfriend. only he didn’t say it, the old lady implied it and kisame just didn’t think to answer. you had just signed a lease on a tiny studio apartment and he was helping you move boxes from the street while your brother and mom returned the moving truck. he’d been bringing up the last box when the tiniest old lady he’s ever seen gives him a crinkled smile and tells him what a good boyfriend he was and about how lucky you were to have a gentleman like him around. all he can do is nod and pointedly ignore how warm the assumption makes him feel as he continues up the stairs. he opens his mouth to tell you what happened, no doubt you’ll make a joke about it and hopefully rid him of the buzzing in his ears, only you’ve replaced the shirt you were wearing with a tank top while you unpacked dishes. there’s a curious bead of sweat trailing down the middle of your back, a back kisame has memorized since he stumbled upon you in your bedroom, and he can’t find it in himself to mention it. it’s then he realizes that things are not normal anymore, not by a long shot.

kisame as your older brother’s best friend who accidentally thinks about you while he’s … taking care of himself. he’d waken up uncomfortable and hard and didn’t have to be at work until later so he takes it slow. let’s his mind wander only to hiss when he thinks of you, peeling off that sweater completely. he thinks of what that bead of sweat would taste like and how far it fell down your back. he thinks about your mouth around the apple slice, about your mouth against his. twice he’s been there, twice he’s felt it, and it’s enough to make him finish with a groan, only to sink into his sheets as the guilt takes over. he slings an arm over his face and sighs, accepting this as his new reality.

kisame as your older brother’s best friend who purposefully begins to put himself between you and anyone he thinks shouldn’t be next to you. you don’t notice because it’s kisame and he’s always been there and life goes on.

kisame as your older brother’s best friend who purposefully switches up nicknames just to watch the surprise flit across your face. girlie turns to darlin’ and he grins around the toothpick in his mouth when you fumble the red solo cup in your hands, beer spilling into the sink while you both clean up after another family party.

kisame as your older brother’s best friend who purposefully presses his leg against yours under the table. kisame as your older brother’s best friend who purposefully adds a layer of suggestion to your usual banter that has you blinking as if to make sure you heard him correctly. kisame as your older brother’s best friend who purposefully slings an arm around the back of your chair, to make himself comfortable he’s a big guy, and flashes anyone who looks at you a grin with way too many teeth.

kisame as your older brother’s best friend who purposefully is trying to make you see him as someone other than just your older brother’s best friend. kisame as your older brother’s best friend who purposefully becomes the only guy in your life outside of your family. kisame as your older brother’s best friend who purposefully toys with you just outside of your brother’s gaze until you snap and you’re both kissing in the kitchen. he’s got you trapped against the pantry door, the same one his height’s recorded on right next to yours in faded marker, and his mouth is hot against your lips, your jaw, your neck.

kisame as your older brother’s best friend who purposefully gets you alone when he can. he’s grinding into you from behind in the guest bathroom at thanksgiving, muttering filth into your ear as he toys with your sweater, ignoring your hushed whisper that you two probably shouldn’t be doing this, and holding back a groan at the whimpers you let out. he’s got you crowded against the wall of your family’s garage, hand shoved up your ugly Christmas sweater to ply with those breasts he can’t stop dreaming about and trailing fire down your neck. you’ve got a leg hooked over his waist, rubbing your sweet cunt over his covered cock, still telling him that this has to stop. he chuckles against your jaw and tells you that he’s waited way too long to stop now. and you’re shoving him off only to turn around and undo your belt, your tight jeans pooling at your ankles. kisame snarls into your hair when he sees you weren’t wearing anything underneath and slips his cock from his pants, leaking and throbbing and so sensitive he thinks he might cum before even getting all the way inside you. you arch your back and muffle your whimpers with the back of your hand, eyes closing as kisame teases your entrance. he’s about to press into you, willing himself to get it together, only to fly off of you when he hears your brother just outside the garage door. you both recover just as he enters, throwing you a snarky remark and grabbing a couple beers from the fridge. you and kisame exchange a look as you follow him out, plans to continue as soon as possible written clearly on both your faces 💙

[ladykissingfish]

*Deidara walking down the hallway with his blanket and pillow*

Sasori: Dei? Where are you going?

Deidara: I’m spending the night in Konan’s room, hm.

Sasori: … why?

Deidara: We’re having a sleepover! We’re going to watch movies and do each other’s hair and nails, and give each other face masks, a bunch of stuff.

Sasori: Oh? *chuckles* That sounds fun for you. *kisses him* Have a good time.

Deidara: Thanks! *walks to Konan’s room*

*later that night, Sasori walking down the hall*

Sasori: What the hell —?

*Kisame and Kakuzu are positioned outside of Konan’s room, each taking turns listening through a glass held against the door*

Kakuzu, whispering: I see you’ve finally decided to join us, Sasori.

Sasori: Join you in what? 

Kisame: Itachi and Hidan are in there, as well as Deidara. All night long they’ve been gossiping about what kind of boyfriends we are to them.

Kakuzu: We’re listening to try and do damage control later.

Sasori: How ridiculous. Perhaps this should be a lesson for you both; treat your partners better and you wouldn’t have to worry about how they speak of you to others. *turns to go*

Kakuzu: Oh? So I suppose you think you’re perfect, eh? You believe Deidara isn’t saying anything negative about you?

Sasori: Of course he isn’t! I treat Deidara with nothing but love and devotion. He wouldn’t —

Kisame: That may be, but the word “splinters” sure is coming up an awful lot.

Kakuzu: And apparently your kissing technique leaves much to be desired.

Sasori:

Sasori: … give me that glass.

[aurorafandomblog]

3) Sleepy

It's been hours since Itachi and Kisame had left Tsuru in the small cave. The fire was getting low and it was getting increasingly difficult for Tsuru to stay awake with the sound of the crackling fire and the steady white noise of the rain outside. She wants to fall asleep, but how can she in a place like this? The cave is made of rock. It's not exactly soft enough to sleep on.

With a sigh, Tsuru reluctantly gets up to explore what she can of the cave in the flickering firelight. All she can see is a couple of packs that she is certain is full of tools. What kind? She doesn't know. She doesn't want to know. But the rest of the cave seems empty- or at least, the part of the cave she can see without resorting to blindly feeling around.

It seems her fate is sealed. Tsuru resigns herself to the inevitable and uses one of the packs of tools as a pillow. Its far from ideal- its bulky and has hard things inside, but... its better than the solid rock below. And so, Tsuru curls up as best she can to preserve warmth in the damp rainy atmosphere at a close yet safe distance from the dwindling fire. It's not long before she manages to drift to sleep.

master list

@theheirofthesharingan

[dariuchihasen]

favorite moment with the akatsuki?

Hello bby, I was hoping for this question lol!! Tbh there’s so many…so I’ll give you my top 3🫶🏻

•

But, I’d have to go with the day I joined.

•

Pain and Itachi were the two to come get me. I had been out on a mission and was hoping to have finished and gone back home before they found me.

They had already picked up my small bag of things from the Uzumaki household. Once my task was completed, I left with them. My mask had been torn and Itachi lent me his cloak until we made it to the compound(which I obviously returned to him later).

Walking into the compound was something I’ll never forget. It felt like home, right off the bat. Everybody was so welcoming(except for the few who were away on missions during this time. Deidara & Sasori, etc).

I never felt like I truly belonged anywhere, I was always an extra on squads when I joined them on missions, or I was sent off alone. But with the akatsuki, I never felt that way.

•

The second has to be the day Tobi joined us. It was just over a month when he arrived, Zetsu in the lead. I remember everything down to the smallest detail. The way he fidgeted with his fingers as he took in his surroundings. His head tilt when Pain introduced him to me. A red good luck charm tied to his belt. The way he took his place by my side as soon as introductions were done. (So happy to have been wearing a mask because when I tell you I was infatuated with him from the beginning, I mean it. I was blushing and holding back smiles and everything lol. Sounds cheesy, I know)

•

And lastly, was the first movie night held once all our new members were situated. I’ve mentioned on TikTok that Orochimaru, Kabuto, Haku, and Zabuza are members as well so I’m referring to after this. Our living area is huge, three separate pull out couches and armchairs. Which we pulled open and spread out to accommodate the 15 people. The floor was padded with so many blankets, all belonging to different members. Same goes with pillows and the few scattered stuffed animals lol. Tobi, Hidan, Kakuzu, and myself had one pull out. Pain, Konan, Haku, and Zabuza had another, while Kisame, and Orochimaru took the third. Everyone else were sitting comfortably on the blankets or arm chairs. Snacks, soda’s and sake were scattered EVERYWHERE. More than half the team was asleep by the second film.