"Sometimes I jump ahead in our life together, and I see a time near the end. I can predict the future, and everything is settled. And all our lovers and children and friends come back and are welcome. And we have large gatherings where everyone is laughing and playing games. I am older and I see things differently, and I finally understand you."
the eleventh doctor's arc truly comes so full circle! it’s the story of a mad gods hard, angry conflict between responsibility and fantasy. from the moment he crashes into amelia’s backyard, he’s like something of a fairy tale; a phantom, a wise man, a hero. a mad man who can disappear just as quickly whence he came. and when he returns, has the ability to turn one’s entire world around— without a single thought for any damage he may have caused along the way. he didn’t just forget his part in the time war: he’s quick to forget a lot, to go too far, to never look back. to never question himself. he hurries on to the next place, becomes a legacy within a few hours on some planet, in some time, and calls it a day. until he begins again. he is the dreamer of improbable dreams, because he requires that divide from reality.
he is “the man who forgets” because he needs to seperate himself from who he was, he needs this new perspective, he needs the worship, someone relying on him, and only him. “i took you with me because i was vain. because i needed to be adored.” eleven began his life as a goofy, kind soul who would happily spend his first moments eating fish fingers and custard with a child, and promise her adventure. the fantasy. yet he’s also a man who would disappear for fifteen years and never provide a legitimate apology. the avoidance of responsibility. (until the god complex, of course.) he calls the atraxi back to earth because it allows him to fulfil the role of a hero in some fantasy, to show off in front of amy, to be that whimsical, magical figure she saw him as when she was a child. to uphold that image. he wants to be a story, he doesn’t want commitments. not to mention the fact that amy literally dreams him back into existence, that her belief in him made him whole again.
the doctor hates endings. he rips the final page out of his books because he can’t stand the thought, the concept. he doesn’t want the adventure to conclude, he doesn’t want the reality to seep through. he doesn’t want the stories to ever end, because in his mind, he is the greatest story of them all. (i’m not even going to go into his arc in season six because i need a whole separate post for that. season six is the consequences of all these actions. and hoo boy. it is brilliant.)
the day of the doctor, i believe, is really the turning point for eleven. the man who forgets arc forcing him to face the consequences of his actions, to step down from the mad man in a box pedestal he’s reigned on for this entire incarnation. he finally takes full responsibility on trenzalore, by sending the TARDIS, and clara away so he can stand and fight for the remaining centuries of his life. he wants to run, to flee, the idea of staying in one place so very terrible (but he takes responsibility, sees the reality, sees he can't just help out for a bit, then saunter back into his box) and he stays. he sends away the TARDIS because he knows he’ll take the easy way out, and step safely inside her doors.
not to mention the hard, in your face symbolism of the christmas town in trenzalore quite literally looking like it came right out of a fairy tale. visually, this is how the doctor wants to live, he wants the whimsical, to live like a storybook. he wants only the middle of the book, before the conflict, before the hero has to make a hard choice. but when he does achieve it, when he arrives in that fairy tale-esque town, it becomes the reality he’s chosen to live, with more responsibility, more bravery than this incarnation has ever shown. he’s rewarded for his nine centuries of responsibility because he’s no longer running towards the fantasy. he can separate the difference, and can find happiness in staying put. he ultimately becomes the heroic raggedy man amy idolised far too long, he’s earned the title, he’s become the doctor.
tagged by the gorgeous and fabulous @cordiallyfuturedwight and @aprylynn for february's roundup:
tagging the usual music favs: @jiminsproof @thvinyl @jimin-gaon @visionsofgideontheninth @spicyclematis @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @monismochi plus @kimtaegis for the amy macdonald of it all 💜 and also you, dear reader. MWAH
Someone walks through the hallway, passing a half eaten corpse on the ground that's still spewing blood from lacerations and an opened chest cavity, looking at the blood covered walls as they walk past.
At the end of the hall is a man covered in blood, leaned over with his back facing them. From the sound of it, he’s crying as he heaves out whatever he has eaten last.
repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.
not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.
level of friendship:
never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends (eventually, over time) / my only friend. (eventually, over time)
first impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
current impression of them:
i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.
send 🖤 and my character will answer about yours; specify. || ALWAYS ACCEPTING || @prodigum.
" you're being very mean right now, i hope you know that! where are we going? am i dressed up enough? the girls kept telling me i needed to wear a dress tonight, with heels, but i didn't have time to buy those, so... come on, you have to tell me. or at least give me a clue! "
@hcpebled liked THIS POST (for drayden!) for a starter using aisling's new fc!
Having Killian stay the night could very well be dangerous.
Max shuffled around his kitchen and exhaled softly. He watched as Mango hopped onto the counter, sighed as he meowed loudly. "Yes, I know, I am getting your food."
As he popped the can, Max peeped through the kitchen door way. There Killian was, lounging on his couch, natural as could be. It made Max's chest ache, how easy it could be with Killian. How natural it would all be. Max cleared his throat. "So!" he called, dumping the can into Mango's bowl, "What do you want for dinner? I can cook for you, or we can do take out."
And then I look at actual statistics across my fics and it's actually doing BETTER than average, doing BETTER than the vast majority of my fics across the board, so like.
I HONESTLY don't know why I feel this way.
Probably it is depression brain. I think I will blame depression brain.
I kinda forgot how you came up with fractures, i know for a fact that you said it started as an au of another fic but I want to know it's origins
I mean, I started writing Fractures back in summer of 2019 (which is insane, let me say), when I was 14.
It is now 2023, I have just turned 18, I've gone through an entire pandemic and started college, and have written over 270,000 more words for this story.
It's kinda hard to remember where it initially came from, and the best thing I have to really go off of is the author's note on Chapter 1 and notes that I wrote for myself when I first started this story.
So, from what I can gather from those and what little I remember:
Most of the idea for Fractures came from the idea I had about what ATLA would be like if Zuko hadn't been there in the first place, but had been off doing something else. The first big problem that came up for me was the fact that Aang would still need a firebending teacher, and if Zuko wasn't there, Iroh was likely off with him, and therefore not available.
So, I started trying to figure out what I could do to separate Zuko from Iroh for pretty much the entire length of the show without making it too weird. From there, I realized the easiest thing would be if Zuko had never been sent to capture Aang in the first place. I decided that the easiest thing would be to simply throw Zuko into prison since the Agni Kai, make sure that Iroh hadn't been there at the Agni Kai, and go from there.
At that point, my interest had shifted from how the Gaang's adventures changed to instead being solely Zuko-focused. I wrote and published a one-shot of the start of the AU I'd made, but I kinda left it at that. There were people who commented wanting more, but I didn't really believe in my abilities to actually write a story of a larger scale. I also didn't know if there was any interest left in ATLA in the middle of 2019. The idea of writing it interested me, but if I was going to do that, I was going to go all in on it, and I didn't know how I felt about that.
The thing that really tipped it for me, if I'm being honest, was reading Towards the Sun by @muffinlance. Seeing an ATLA author succeeding and holding an audience, specifically in the times before the ATLA Renaissance because of Netflix, inspired me a shocking amount. It was the kinda thought of "well, if Muffin can do it, then so can I!" Which, to be fair, totally ignored the fact that she was a fully grown adult at the time, while I, 3.5 years later, have just now reached 'adult' status.
Still, it was enough for me, and so I wrote the next chapter in one night, published it, and we were off.