#A couple months? A few weeks? 2 hours? We'll just have to see

[shima-draws]

MAN I don’t think I’ve ever had art block this bad. It’s at the point where even sitting at my computer thinking about opening a canvas to draw just puts my brain in “Shima.exe has stopped responding” mode. I know I haven’t been doing art recently anyway but now I’ll just make an official announcement and say I’m going on an art hiatus for a while. At least until I can kick this lol

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

With Discretion

Here it is! I hope you guys like part 1. Part 2 is in the works. I am planning for this to be a 2 parter, 3 at the most haha we'll see! You can find more of my work here. In the meantime enjoy this one! (Once again, gif credits to @londonharry 🫶🏻)

Warnings: Infidelity (adultery), inappropriate relationship, mentions of drinking/partying, mild dirty talk, slight praise kink, multiple and forced orgasms, dry humping, choking, oral sex (f receiving described, m receiving mentioned), fingering, sex (protected & unprotected)

WC: 12.7K

You had never intended on sleeping with your husband, Caleb’s, boss but you had six months ago and you hadn’t stopped thinking about him since. It was overwhelmingly excellent and of course, unforgettable. You didn’t even feel guilty anymore when you fantasized about him when you and Cal would sleep together. The way it developed felt almost like a TV drama scriptwriter had taken over your life and was writing your character into a completely surreal situation. 

You had suspicions that Cal was having an affair. You lived in the suburbs so his commutes to work were nearly an hour there and back, so when he had to work late it made sense to get a hotel and stay the night in the city. But it was hard to miss the fact that over the course of the past year, the odd late night at the office had suddenly become more commonplace.

At first you thought nothing of it, but one day he made the mistake of using your joint account to make a reservation at one of the fancier restaurants in the city. You just so happened to be checking the activity of the account that afternoon because you were expecting a reimbursement from a purchase you had made for a client a few weeks before. A simple call to the restaurant confirmed your suspicions that it was a reservation for two. And not even an hour later, you’d received the usual text he sent when he was “working late”. Maybe it was just for business but to verify, you decided to show up at his office an hour before the reservation. Their building was a skyscraper and housed a couple different offices, but when you made it to the 23rd floor and it was pretty desolate your suspicion started rising. You had only visited his office once when he’d first go hired. He had brought you along on a Sunday to help him set up and decorate without disturbing any of his coworkers. The building had been just as vacant as it was tonight. Regardless, you headed over to his office and saw the blinds and door were closed, so you knocked just in case and after not receiving any response you opened it up and peeked inside to find it empty with no sign of him even coming back and you sighed. 

The feeling of reality just bitch slapping you across the face was strong, but before you could even start to feel any disappointment your entire body froze when a deep voice came from behind you: “Excuse me, can I help you with something?” 

The man before you was striking, it stunned you for a second, suspending time as you looked deep into his furrowed eyebrows. He seemed concerned that a stranger was peeking into the CFO’s office. You were quick to explain that you were Caleb’s wife and were stopping by to see if he wanted a dinner break since he was working late. That’s when he introduced himself as Harry Styles, CEO, and verified that he’d only asked Caleb to stay late twice in the 3 years he’d been working for him. When he saw your face fall he caught on quickly and immediately apologized. You then explained that you had suspicions of Cal’s unfaithfulness for months now and had actually come in to confirm your suspicions. He asked if there was anything he could do to help, but you assured him there was not and went home.

You were devastated initially, but as time went on you were just annoyed that you hadn’t caught on sooner. It seemed so obvious now that you were aware, there was even more damning evidence that you had failed to see before. And well, you were afraid of what this meant for you because Cal was a bit older than you and he had money, and had some personal funds invested in your event planning business. You wanted to fight about it or to get him back, but you had a lot to lose if your marriage ended so you decided to be selfish & just let it be. At least now you knew and you could just start to move on emotionally. 

A few months after that interaction with Mr. Styles, Cal had left for a “business trip” with all of the top executives from the office. So you and your friends took a trip to the city to bar hop a bit and much to your surprise, you saw Mr. Styles leaning against the bar and you made your way over and tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned around he was surprised to see you of all people.

“Why’s the CEO of the company not in Tokyo for the all executive business trip?” You had asked with a playful grin.

“Because there’s no business trip to Tokyo.”  He responded with a smirk. 

You had expected Cal to lie, but the confirmation of it had once again made you close another emotional tie to your husband. Harry had been so kind and ended up buying drinks for you and your friends for the night and even brought you guys into the VIP area with him and his friends. 

He was fun, sweet, and very attentive. Even a little flirty with you, dare you say, but you chalked it up to the drinks you’d each had.  But as the night progressed your friends and Harry’s friends slowly started disappearing one by one. And nearing 1am it was just you and one of your more drunken friends along with Harry & a couple others from his group. Your friend, Cece, was plastered and you wanted to get her to bed so you thanked Harry for his generosity and let him know that you would be heading out, but he insisted that his car service drop you guys off at your hotel. Your friend ended up passing out in the car and because of this, Harry offered to help you get her up to her room. Once she was safe in her own room for the night Harry walked you up to your room and well, that soon turned into a lot more than you had expected…

… SIX MONTHS EARLIER …

“Thank you so much for helping me get her up here.” You smiled as you held your friend Cecilia’s door open as Harry hurried by, carrying her bridal style to her bed.

“Not a problem.” He assured as he gently set her down. She groaned and stirred a bit, “We should probably leave a bin within reach.” He glanced back to you as the heavy door closed with a loud thud.

“Good thinking.” You smiled as you hurried over to the other end of the room where a trashcan was nestled beneath the desk. You sighed when you saw that the liner had not been put in and was just sitting neatly at the bottom so you bent down to do just that. 

Harry didn’t mean to ogle you the way he had been all night, but he couldn’t help himself. You looked absolutely breathtaking and for the life of him, he couldn’t understand how Caleb could just screw you over the way he was. Harry didn’t even know he was married until you had shown up at the building a few months back looking for him. In his eyes Caleb was immature and a complete fool, even if he was 15 years his senior. Because if he had someone like you at his side he would never dream of doing anything to jeopardize that.

“Alright, that’s all set.” You said as you put the garbage can by Cecilia’s bedside, flicked on the bedside lamp, and then turned around to smile at him.

“Well at least she had a lot of fun.” He said as you started making your way out of the room.

“Exactly.” You giggled as you shut off the big lights and opened up the door and you both made it back into the hall. You walked to the elevator in a comfortable silence and then stopped before it, you turned to him to say goodnight.

“Are you up or down?” He asked you as he walked up to the buttons on the wall.

“Up. Much to my displeasure.” You mumbled and he smiled.

“Scared of heights?” He asked and you nodded in confirmation, “Me too. I hate that my office is all windows.” He said with a chuckle, “First time I got in there I decided to look out of it and I got a spell of vertigo for a few hours.” He admitted and you frowned a bit.

“Oh wow, so it’s bad.”

“Yeah, awful.” He confirmed just as the elevator chimed to indicate it’s arrival.

“You don’t have to take me up, I know it’s late and-”

“No, it’s alright. Just want to make sure you get in safe.” He assured as you both stepped inside.

“Thanks, that’s sweet of you.” You smiled as you pressed the button to the 15th floor.

“It’s nothing.” He assured you with a smile, “Ummm…you can tell me to fuck off if I’m prying, but I guess I’ve just noticed that you don’t seem all that upset about Caleb cheating and lying to you about his whereabouts.” He said and you sighed.

“I was at first, after I went to the office?” You reminded and he nodded, “But I then decided that it was out of my hands and like…I don’t know, it’s not that I don’t love him enough, but I just…don’t want to fight and if all this is is like a fling or midlife crisis,” you giggled, “It’ll sort itself out.” You explained and he hummed. “It might also have a lot to do with everyone telling me that marrying and older man was a bad idea.” You admitted with a slight smile and he did as well.

“So no one was supportive?”

“Not really.” You confessed.

“How old are you now, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“30, turning 31 soon.” You said.

“Oh, I just turned 31! It’s just as annoying.” He assured and you giggled.

“Good. People’ve been a lot more invested in my personal life since I turned 30.”

“Oh yeah…"when are you getting married?", "Are you going to have children?", "When are you going to start acting your age?"…” he recited all of the same questions people seemed to concerned to know the answers to and you chuckled.

“Exactly.” You hummed, “I mean, I was 24 when we got married. Literally fresh out of grad school. That same summer.” You said and he hummed in understanding.

“Did you date long?”

“A year and a half or so? We met at an entrepreneurial convention and I was manning a booth for the place I was working at, at the time and we just got to talking. You know how he can just get along with anyone…” you explained and he nodded. “I did fall hard and fast…but I mean, I think he just wanted to snatch me up before I lost interest or something because I wasn’t in a rush to be married. But he seemed to be and well, I agreed because I did love him-er I do, sorry! I do love him.” You corrected yourself, feeling a bit shocked by your fumble.

“I mean, feelings can change.” Harry pointed out.

“Yeah…I mean, clearly his have.” You said as the doors opened up on your floor.

“I mean, sounds like yours have too a bit.” He said as you started guiding him down the hall.

“I think you made a mistake in walking me to my room. I’m pretty deep in.” You explained, changing the subject and he smiled at you.

“It’s no bother. I quite like talking to you.” He said and you smiled up at him.

“I ummm…like talking to you too, Harry.” You assured him. “So what about you? Any lucky lads or ladies?” You asked him and he chuckled.

“Hmmm, sometimes, but not to any serious capacity. I’m always so busy with the firm.” He explained, “It’s not like I don’t want that though…I just want to make sure that when I do have that it’s…as right for me as possible. I don’t know, not so big on wasting people’s time, you know? Like if I were in your shoes I would make a fuss and try to get even in someway…” he said and you chuckled.

“So vengeful!” You teased.

“Well you’re married to the guy! You made a commitment to each other, you know? It’s just disrespectful in my opinion. If something changed for him then he should say that instead of sneaking off with someone else, you know?”

“I wholeheartedly agree.” You concurred as you made another turn, “But if I were to “get him back” or give him a taste of his own medicine I’m just not sure that it would make anything better for me at least.” You explained as you slowed down as you reached your door, “Like, do I think bout it sometimes, yeah! Of course I do.” You chuckled, “But I don’t think it would impact him in any way. I wouldn’t advertise it to him either, you know?” You explained as you glanced down and opened up your bag to search for your key. 

“Well if not to get back at him then just for yourself. I mean, if he’s out there getting his ego boosted by who knows who, why wouldn’t you?” Harry asked and you smiled as your eyes flickered up to his.

“I mean…thankfully, I don’t think I need that validation from anyone else.” You explained and he smiled a bit, “I know who I am and I am happy with who I am, in every way. And, not to sound arrogant, but I know what I bring to the table as a partner and if that’s not enough for someone then… their loss.” You concluded with a simple shrug.

“You’re absolutely extraordinary.” He said softly, as if he were in awe of you. You felt your cheeks warming as all of the blood rushed to your face at his compliment and you looked away. Bashfully shaking your head as if that would help ward off the feeling his compliment elicited from you. 

“Hardly.” You said lowly and suddenly his hands were on your face and he was tilting you up to look up at him. His touch was gentle as his eyes flickered back and forth over your own.

“You are, Y/N.” He assured you softly and you felt like your were on cloud 9, your hands grabbed around his wrists firmly, “If I had you, I would never be so careless with you.” He said with so much conviction. 

His words made your heart beat wildly and your insides melt. You were so affected by him, it was getting hard to keep yourself together in his presence. He was overwhelming in the best way and you wanted to feel completely immersed in the energy that he exuded. The attraction that was brewing between the two of you was reaching its boiling point. It was getting hard to ignore the signals of desire that your body had been giving off since you started hanging out earlier. But now, the subtlety was gone…your pupils were blown wide, his were as well. You were running hot all over, but particularly between your legs, you were so wet for Harry, you were certain that your panties were an absolutely sticky mess at the crotch.

“I think I-uh…sh-should ummm…get inside.” You stumbled on such simple words because you were trying so hard to just behave for another few seconds.

“Yeah.” He agreed, but neither of your were letting each other go. “Did you find your room key?” He asked and you nodded.

“S’in my purse.” You assured and he nodded and reluctantly let you go.

“Good.” He smiled as you dug back into your little bag and retrieved it to show him, “Alright, in you go.” He said softly and you turned around and slid the key into the slot, waiting for it to turn green so that you could turn the handle. He was quick to step forward and help you push the heavy door open.

“Thank you.” You hummed as you stepped past the threshold and turned to face him again, “Thank you for literally everything. The drinks, the laughs, the ride, the chat…” you smiled at him and he returned the friendly gesture.

“It was my pleasure.” He assured you.

“I had a lot of fun tonight.” You smiled.

“Me too.” He confirmed, still standing at the door. Neither of you made a move to retreat.

“Ummm, can I…hug you?” You asked through a timid giggle and his dimples carved deep into his cheeks.

“Of course you can.” He said and you were quick to pull the latching lock out so that the door wouldn’t shut on you when he let it go. 

You were going to hug around his body, but he hunched down at bit so you could reach him better, which resulted in your arms draping over his shoulders. Harry’s arms then naturally wrapped around your waist and as you closed the gap between your bodies you relaxed into his hold for a few seconds, leaning your head against his. He smelled divine, you were tempted to take a big inhale of him but decided against it almost instantly. 

You initiated the pull back and your hands rested on his shoulders, your noses nearly brushing from how close you were. You started to close the gap as your eyes fluttered down to his lips and he nudged your face to the side a bit, allowing him to fit his face better against yours. "What am I doing?" Was the last thought you had before your eyes fluttered closed and your lips met his in a sensual kiss. You two pulled back almost instantly, lust and longing clouding your minds to a dangerous degree. But before you could decide against it, you tugged at the collar of his shirt as your lips smeared together urgently once again. One of his arms remained around your body as the other pushed the room door open until you were both shrouded in darkness. He blindly flipped back the latch and as soon as the heavy door closed your body was up against it as his hands found your face and held you in place as your kiss started to deepen.

You hadn’t been fucked in at least four months by that point and with the attraction that you felt towards Harry, you didn’t care that you were married. After all, Cal had already tainted the marriage with his own affair… with this in mind you just gave in. You licked into his mouth and he ended up moaning before he shoved his tongue past your lips. You guided his hands to the parts of your body that craved that long missed masculine touch. His hands felt bigger than Caleb’s and he was groping at your bottom the second you guided his hands there. He stayed there for a few minutes as you kissed heatedly, but soon he started to slide his hands up your body. He was intentional as he felt and familiarized himself with the curves and dips of your body. Your skin was tingling from his attention and buzzing in anticipation of where his curious hands would travel to next. You immediately got dizzy when his right hand landed over your neck and started to tighten a bit around your throat. 

“Harder.” You begged breathily and he sighed in relief before squeezing harder against the sides as you kissed sloppily.

You felt him trying to nudge your legs apart with his knee so you parted them and as he pressed closer you whined when you felt his thigh nudged against your center just a bit. You needed more though, you were greedy for it and ground down against him and he flexed his quad, the bulge of his muscle created a surface of better friction for you and you moaned as you started to go faster. You immediately felt the turning up of his lips as he smirked, more than glad that you were so eager for it. 

“Better?” He asked and you nodded, “Good. Get what you need, Y/N.” He hummed before he pressed his forehead to yours. Your pants and soft moans were heating up the minimal space between your faces but he seemed to be enjoying this as much as you were. You were clinging to his shoulders for dear life as you humped at his thigh to your heart’s content and Harry would have it no other way. 

Harry only wanted one thing and that was to get you off as many times as were physically possible. You deserved the world on a silver platter and he was determined to give you whatever you would let him tonight. How could anyone in their right mind neglect someone as gorgeous, smart, and extraordinary as you? He didn’t get it…how anyone could neglect your body or choose another’s…that’s why any guilt he felt about this immediately evaporated. His other hand was securely latched at your waist, keeping you steady as you used him to get off. He wanted you to do whatever you wanted, whatever you needed to feel good.

You were so determined! You wanted to come so badly and were doing everything in your power to cling to that little spark of pleasure that would shoot down your legs and make you shudder each time your clit rubbed against his thigh. The slick mess in your panties caused the glide to be smoother and so you started grinding with more intention until your jaw was dropping open as you moaned in celebration of your impending orgasm.

“I’m- oh, I’m coming!” You got out as you lost your rhythm and fell forward into his chest and Harry’s hands went to your hips. You continued grinding wildly to draw out the pleasure of your orgasm as much as possible. Harry was encouraging you with his words while his strong body kept you steady as your legs grew weary from the orgasm that had just taken you out. Your ragged breathing and the pulsing of your pussy were synced with the beating of your heart, you swore he could hear it as well and you tried to straighten up.

“S’alright, I’ve got you. Holding you nice and tight, just take some deep breaths, baby.” He said cooly as you tried to recover.

As the seconds passed your inhales finally became deeper and you were able to relax into Harry’s hold. He was patient, waiting for you to make a move to regain your strength.

“Jeez, I haven’t come like that since I was a teenager.” You confessed through a giggle and he chuckled.

“Is that a good or bad thing?” He asked and you glanced up at him.

“I’m not sure…I just hadn’t been so turned on that I was able to.” You said and he grinned.

“Are you saying I turn you on more than your husband?” He asked haughtily, a satisfied glint in his eyes.

“No, no, no…Don’t do that to me.” You responded through a nervous laugh and he chuckled.

“You’re right, that was low. Sorry.” He apologized and you smiled.

“It’s alright.” You assured him, he could still see the lust glazing over your gaze. “Can I return the favor though?” You asked him, more than ready to do your best for him.

“Can I make you come again first?” He asked and your eyes widened a bit.

“Again?” you questioned him and he nodded.

“Yes, again.” He said as he started walking you back deeper into the room, “And again, and again, and again until your poor, little pussy can’t take anymore.” He said before kissing you deeply. You moaned at his dirty words and gasped when the backs of your legs were met with the edge of bed. You fell back and he climbed over you, still kissing you fervently.

His big hands slid up your thighs, helping you part them around his body so that he could get even closer still and the moment you felt the seizable bulge in his pants pressing near your center you felt an impatience to feel and see what he had to offer you. Of course, his company was lovely, but you were absolutely touch starved and in dire need of a good fucking. Your hands slid back to his firm bottom and you pressed him deeper against you still. His grin broke the kiss and you opened your eyes to meet his playful gaze.

“Cheeky little thing.” He smiled and you only offered a shrug to excuse your handsiness. "Are you still okay with this?” He asked you and you bit your lip to suppress the grin that was threatening to take over your face.

“I don’t know but I want it. Need it.” You said and his gaze softened a bit.

“How long’s it been?” He asked you and you sighed.

“Since I’ve been fucked? Four months.” You said and he looked displeased.

“I mean since you’ve come.”

“Since I’ve come? Not by my own devices…?” you said and he chuckled, “I honestly don’t remember.” You confessed and now he just looked flat out offended at this.

“You’re lying…”

“Why would I lie about that?” You giggled.

“And even after that you haven’t cheated?” He asked with a chuckle and you shrugged.

“Well, I am now.” You said and he smiled.

“Well I’m definitely following through on what I said before. Gotta help you make up for lost time.” He smiled and you playful rolled your eyes at him. “Nuh-uh, none of that bratty stuff.” He said to you and you grinned.

“After everything I’ve been through?” You asked and he grinned.

“Pulling that card are you?”

“Of course.” You smiled and he bit down on his lip, “What?” You asked him.

“You’re just so fucking pretty.” He said, voice soft and sweet.

“Ummm, thanks.” You responded softly. You suddenly felt so small beneath him.

“Yeah, of course.” His smirk was giving you butterflies. His hand started trailing up your thigh, making its way to your center. When he finally reached your panties he did his best to contain his amusement at just how wet you were for him. “Shit.” He whispered lowly as his eyes met yours.

“I know…” you giggled, “M’so wet for you.” You whispered back and immediately wriggled a bit when you felt him slide the material to the side and soon the warmth of his fingers were making direct contact with your slit. 

“Say it again.” Harry asked, his lips tickling against yours as he made his request.

“I’m so wet for you, Harry.” You said again, practically tingling in anticipation. He could feel your arousal seeping through as he ran his fingers down to where your entrance was. Harry almost moaned at how sopping wet you were, you’d made a proper mess for him and he didn’t even ask before kissing you hard and then sliding down to the ground.

“Harry, what’re you- Oh my god…” You gasped breathily when his thick tongue pushed into your entrance. Your eyes fluttered closed and your fingers buried into his hair as he started to bury his face against you even more, he was nuzzling against you, his nose bumping against your clit a few times before he licked up the entirety of your pussy and then dexterously used it to flick at your clit until your body started to turn to mush, “Oh fuck...that’s so fucking good…” you praised him and when he started to gently suck at you, your vision started to blur and your abs to tense. You would be mortified by how quickly you were building up to an orgasm if everything that he was doing wasn’t distracting you from having a singular thought apart from “Keep sucking”.

He moaned against you as your orgasm starting to take over you. It made you come harder to know that he was enjoying it as much as you were because even as you were withering, he never stopped. He did slow down enough to let you come down from it all but when he’d realized that you’d caught your breath you felt his fingers teasing at your entrance. You parted your legs further, non-verbally communicating to him that you wanted him to finger you. He kissed at your inner thigh and you smiled as you felt him sucking at you.

“Are you-”

“Yeah. S’just for you, for the memories.” He hummed before he sucked a bit more, ensuring that he left a dark hickey and you giggled, but soon your breath was hitching as he laved at your clit as he introduced his index finger first, feeling it out to see what you were able to handle. 

It did feel nice, but you needed more. He wasn’t stingy when you asked for it, instead he rewarded you with his middle finger as well. His hands were so big, so this did make a difference. He was feeling around with his fingers, searching for your spot.

“Just a little bit deeper.” You said as you propped yourself up on your elbows to be able to see him.

“I’m not hurting you?” He asked. His tenderness was making your heart flutter.

“No, I’m alright. Now just curl your fingers into- Oh fuck… r-right there!” You encouraged through a bright smile and he grinned as he watched your head fall back onto the bed. He started to go a bit harder until your legs started to tense up, soon enough they were trembling as your toes curled and you started to come once again. You couldn’t believe how good you felt. Beautiful colors were bursting behind your closed eyelids as you rode the wave of pleasure you had been so fortunate to catch. You could practically hear the blood roaring in between your ears at how hard your heart was beating. And the longer he kept his fingers pumping inside of you the longer your orgasm lasted. You whimpered as your legs shook from yet another orgasm as he expertly prodded his fingers into your g-spot.

“Good girl…come for me.” Harry spurred you on. 

You genuinely felt like you were going to explode because he had found the perfect pleasure point and it’s like you couldn’t be turned off. You felt so much pressure building inside of you, it was making your back arch and your legs shake and your moans to pour incessantly from your mouth, but you couldn’t ask him to stop. It felt too good to put an end to it yet. Fingering had always done wonders for you, but add to that a partner who’s intentional about it, and well your body will do things you never thought it capable of. Again, he’d give you small breaks to help you catch your breath and start up again. Your entire body felt like it was vibrating as he built you up again. Your hips thrusting to try meet his fingers, hoping to feel him deeper as he fucked you with them and used his mouth to lick and slurp at your clit until your body was going limp once again as you came. This time there were no colors, just white as your ears rang.

But then you gasped as he pushed himself to stand, his body loomed over yours and a he gave you mischievous grin before he started pounding his long, thick fingers inside harder and faster than before, never failing to miss the spot you showed him. And as his dark eyes met yours with a hungry gaze you felt completely lost. You could feel your poor little pussy throbbing as he started to work you up to the summit of pleasure again, but this time it felt even bigger than before. You had that pins and needles feeling tickling up your legs and to your core, but it felt like it was coming from the inside. Fighting to get out. 

“Gonna come again. I can feel it.” He said lowly. The deep tones of his voice settled over you like the warmest hints of sunlight, making you feel toasty from the inside out. 

“It feels…fuck, it feels like so much.” You whimpered.

“I know, baby. You’re gonna squirt for me, aren’t you?” He asked and you nodded furiously at the insane pressure threatening to just explode, “Come on then, give it to me. Show me how good it feels, Y/N.” He hummed with a subtle arrogance that you swore was the thing that did you in or maybe it was that he suddenly started to rub your clit with his thumb. Your head fell back into the mattress and your back arched for a few seconds before the fireworks took over. You couldn’t contain your moans and cries as you felt yourself quite literally exploding with your orgasm. He held one of your legs open with his free hand, taking in as your writhed in pleasure, gushing cum for him. He started to slow down, but you had so much more. It’s like a part of you that had been repressed was finally free.

“D-don’t stop! Not yet! I-I need more!” You begged breathily.

“How about I fuck the rest out of you?” He asked instead as his fingers slowed down and rubbed into that spot. You immediately nodded and he was quick to lean over you and attach your lips together. 

You helped each other get undressed and then he fetched a condom from his wallet before texting his driver to dismiss him for the night. In the meantime you made yourself useful and grabbed two towels from the bathroom to put under you. Already you felt wobbly on your legs and Harry was more than pleased. You watched with a salivating mouth as he rolled the condom down his long and deliciously thick shaft. He stroked himself a few times and it made your walls flutter in excitement. 

“Grab a pillow for me, please?” He asked you nodded and reached back, blindly feeling around until your fingers grazed the corner of one and pulled it down, “Thank you. Hips up for me.” He said softly and you did as he directed. You’d heard of this before, never really certain of whether this worked or not, but you guessed you were about to find out. He tucked it beneath you, asking a few times if it was comfortable for you until it was positioned just right.

And from one moment to the next the reality of this situation dawned on you and your excitement turned into hesitation. You were suddenly anxious about this…were you really about to cheat on Caleb? Your husband. With his boss? It just felt like the most surreal situation and when you finally got out of your head Harry was looking at you with a tenderness in his eyes.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” He said and you swallowed thickly,  “I’m sorry if I…caused a lapse in judgement or-” he was cut off as you tugged him down by the neck and kissed his lips with so much need. You didn’t want him to feel bad for this. This total stranger, basically, had shown you more attention and kindness than your own husband had in ages. And you talked yourself out of believing that this was for revenge on Cal. No, this was for you. You wanted it, you needed it desperately. Even more so as you felt the tip of his cock tickling at your labia as he hovered over your body. His hands were securely on your hips. But you parted your legs further, to let him rest against your entrance.

“You sure?” His question was mumbled against your mouth and you nodded.

“Yes. I’m sure.” You reassured him of your decision. “I’m just…nervous.” You confessed. “Like…I never thought I would be in this situation.” you said through a breathy giggle.

“Yeah, this is definitely a unique situation.” He agreed with a smile on his lips.

“I guess I just need you to know that…like I’m not a bad person.” She said and he shook his head.

“I don’t think that you are, Y/N.” He assured, “I think that you’re fun, smart, sweet, strong, and beautiful…or at least from what I’ve seen.” He said softly, “If anything I’m the bad person for…not giving a fuck that you’re married.” He chuckled and you did as well.

“If it helps I don’t think you’re a bad person either.” You assured him and he smiled before he kissed you again.

“Mmm…you might after I’m done with you. Gonna ruin you for my cock.” He smirked as he started to push inside. 

Your eyes fluttered closed as he started to stretch out your entrance with the thick head. “Fuck you’re tight.” He hummed in delight as he added more pressure with his hips. He was just starting to wonder when the tight ring of muscles would give when they did, and the leaking and sensitive head of his cock was sucked into your delicious little pussy. You moaned together in relief as he surged forward, not able to wait for your to accommodate to his intrusion. He just needed to get in you, it was like he had lost all self-control; forcefully spreading your walls apart with his girth and then finally settling inside of you fully. You whimpered at how deep he was and he shifted his hips a bit, doing his best to find the spot that had you in puddles for him. 

“Oh god…” you sighed in relief when his cock finally found your spot. Your thighs squeezed around his hips to push him in as deep as possible. You swore he was in your stomach and it hurt so good. “Fuck me. Just fuck me, Harry.” You implored and he wasted no time in giving in to your request. 

His thrusts were hard and merciless. It almost felt like with each deep thrust he was knocking the air from your body. You felt drunk and dizzy on his cock as he pounded into your spot so hard that your vision started to blur. Before you even realized it your walls were spasming around his erection and your were writhing around with an unexpected orgasm.

When Harry felt you tighten up he grinned and moaned at the feeling of you coming around him so suddenly. He was mesmerized by the way your tits bounced with each powerful thrust. He was melting for your pretty and whiny sounds of approval and of the sound of his name being uttered and moaned from your lips with so much gratitude. 

“Shit…” he swallowed thickly as his cock slipped out from how wet you were now. He quickly guided himself back inside of you, thrusting in the way you had liked and then started rubbing your clit as well. He chuckled as he felt your legs trembling around his hips as you came yet again. His own legs felt like they were about to give, so he slowed down and wrapped his arms around you before carrying you higher up the bed so that he could kneel on the mattress. “Get on your tummy for me.” He said and you did as you were asked, “Let’s get this under you…there you go.” He said as he placed the pillow back under you and you got the chills when you felt his fingers rubbing against your entrance the up to your bum, rubbing against your much tighter hole. Then you felt the weight of his cock back at your entrance and he slowly pushed inside. You squeezed the comforter in your fists as his cock somehow felt even bigger than it had before. You literally gasped and he moaned as he gave a few testing thrusts before some part of you just opened up and let him bottom out, that one did make you yelp. “Alright?” He asked.

“Yes, it’s just so fucking big.” You mumbled into the bedding and he grinned.

“Yeah it is, but you’re taking it all so well.” He assured you as he started to grind into you and your were paralyzed. "Fuck baby, take all of me." he grunted in time with his thrusts. He was right up against your favorite spot this way and it was making you feel loopy as it was stimulated over and over and over again. He wasn’t even going hard, he was just focusing all of his efforts into getting that spot and well, he seemed to be enjoying it too as he moaned and groaned above you. “Fuck you feel so good…you’re so fucking good.” He moaned with a satisfied smile.

You had never come vaginally as much as you had tonight and these orgasms were different than the clitoral ones you typically had. These orgasms felt bigger and like it was taking your whole body to achieve them. Your mind was blanking every single time…and this one was going to be the end of you, you were sure. You could feel yourself throbbing around his cock hard. He started to gyrate his hips and you literally gasped.

“There? Is that it?” He asked with a smirk you couldn’t see, but it was evident from his tone.

“Yes, right there! You’re going to make me come!” You warned and he hummed and put more of his weight over you. You welcomed it and your heart nearly beat out of your chest as one of his hands slid up your arms and to your hand. You let his fingers interlace with yours and squeezed as you got closer and closer to your orgasm. It was absolutely overwhelming as you cried out in ecstasy as your orgasm literally crawled up from your toes to the top of your head. Every part of you was hyperaware and feeling tingly as your mind floated freely in gratification. You were covered in goosebumps and your limbs felt like jell-o as he fucked you through it. You were reeling, completely pliant in his arms and as soon as you started to come down from that incredible orgasm he started to thrust into you nice and deep not letting your orgasm end. His thrusts were timed so perfectly, you were trembling and begging him for more, so he gave you more. He went harder and deeper as he shifted to straddle you and fuck you like that. You were basically weeping as he fucked two more orgasms out of you like this, it just felt so good you couldn’t even stop it. Your body was just responding to it and you were so out of sorts.

“One more like this and I’ll give you a break, baby. Just one more, can feel your little pussy squeezing me, throbbing around my big cock.” He said and you moaned, practically drooling on yourself and the bed by now. 

It’s like you had no say over it, you just surrendered to the feelings and let yourself drown in them with no shame or remorse. That last orgasm was earth-shattering. You were vibrating uncontrollably as your ears rang and the tears slipped from your eyes even though they were screwed shut. You were just grunting in time with each hard thrust he delivered into you until your come was gushing and spurting out of you. You were gasping because the intensity of it all made you feel like your were free falling. It was soaking his cock as he moaned and then pressed inside as deep as he could before he came undone, filling the condom with his come but wishing he could’ve just unloaded in that tight, sweet pussy of yours. His hands pushed you deeper into the mattress, making it just a little bit harder to breathe and that somehow made it all the better. When he finished, he relaxed his body he just fell over you, covering you in his warmth. Time felt suspended as you both caught your breaths. You swore that mentally you weren’t all there now and wouldn’t be for a bit. 

“Am I crushing you?” He whispered, this words tickling the shell of your ear and you smiled, eyes still closed because to you, it felt like the room was spinning.

“Yes, but in a good way.” You hummed bad tiredly.

“In a good way…” he repeated lazily through a playful smile.

“Mhmm.” you said and then your smile widened as his fingers found yours and interlaced with yours again. He shifted a bit and you rolled along with him so that you were on your sides now. His cock was still softening up and you were grateful that he wasn’t quick to just pull out and go. As much as you needed a fuck, you also needed the tenderness and affection of another person and he seemed to understand that. You tangled your legs with his and he squeezed your fingers before pulling your closer into his body.

“Was that alright?” He asked softly and you laughed a bit.

“I’m like…mentally on another planet…I feel like I’m floating… so yeah, I’d say that was alright.” You whispered and he laughed a bit.

“Good.” Is all he said. 

When you had come down enough he proceeded to get back between your legs. His tongue and mouth were a lot more gentle this time around and again, he made you come several more times until your body was so sore that you just couldn’t give any more. You sucked him off eagerly and made him come once more before you both passed out. You woke up around 7am when his alarm went off, but instead of seizing the day he fucked you once more, bare, and it was your turn to mark him up. You were so exhausted that you flaked out on breakfast with your friends and didn’t wake up again until just shy of midday.

“Feel free to shower if you need to.”

“Yeah, I think I will.” Harry said lazily as he checked his phone.

“Mmmkay. I’m gonna order something in, do you want anything?” You asked him through a yawn.

“Will we have time?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a late check out.” You assured.

“Oh alright.” He smiled, “What’re you having?”

“Probably some eggs and pancakes and well coffee. I’m quite drained.” You said with a smile.

“I’ll have the same. Eggs over easy though.” He said as he stretched.

“Oh, same!” You smiled as you rolled over to reach the telephone and he hopped in the shower while you place the call.

Thankfully nothing was tense or awkward which you appreciated. Harry didn’t take long, so you were able to get showered as well and had literally just stepped out in your robe when Harry was placing the tray down on the little table in your room. You guys made conversation, he asked about your business and what kinds of events you liked to do, if you were interested in any other ventures. It was very, very normal. You were just waiting for the bubble to be burst by the metaphorical needle that was your reality…that being that you were a married woman who had just cheated on her husband, but it hadn’t come… and whether it did or not, this couldn’t happen again. Maybe when you were out of his presence and left alone with your thoughts, because you liked him way too much to feel anything bad at the moment. You thought it would happen when it came time for him to go, but that wasn’t how your goodbye went at all.

“Umm…before I go I just think we need to…debrief a bit.” He said and you smiled at him.

“Yeah, sure.” You agreed easily.

“I mean…I like you, I think we’re very compatible and like…we just have a connection I think.” He said and you nodded, “And I mean…I can’t say I respect Caleb as a husband and a man after…hearing what he’s put you through, but I still respect him as my employee and obviously what he does outside of work isn’t really my business.” Harry spoke clearly and concisely, but he was looking for any signs of distress from you at this but you were just nodding.

“Yeah, I agree 100%. Like, thank you…for hearing me out and…helping me out, but obviously this is not something that can happen again. And well, I like you too, a lot.” You said and he smiled a bit, “I just don’t want you to walk away thinking that I just used you to get back at him, you know? And I mean…I don’t think us running into each other often will even be an issue. He doesn’t ever want me involved in any of his work stuff.” You said simply and he nodded.

“Right. Well, I did have a great time with you and ummm…I don’t regret it. I hope you don’t either.” He said more meekly and you shook your head.

“Nope, no regrets.” You assured him with a smile, “Thank you though, again for everything. You’re a really wonderful person, Harry.” You said and he smiled bashfully at your compliment. Moments later you were ensuring he had all of his things as you walked him to the door and you guys hugged briefly before he made his way out into the hallway and gave you one final wave before he was gone and disappearing amongst all of the strangers in New York City.

… PRESENT DAY …

As was expected, you hadn’t seen or even heard anything about Harry since then, just like before. But one thing you couldn’t help but notice was that now Caleb was around a lot more. Well, it took a few months after the whole thing with Harry, but it felt like things were going back to how they had been before. You had no idea what had happened between him and his mistress, but it couldn’t have been good because he was suddenly so present and even doting on you like when he was first trying to convince you to go out with him. And on this particular night you were in the middle of doing your skincare routine before bed when Cal came into the en-suite, just in from the office.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He hummed and kissed your cheek in passing.

“Hi, how was your day?” You asked as he undid his tie.

“Really fucking good.” He grinned, “So on Saturday we’re gonna have a celebratory dinner for a deal that we closed. It’s not everyone from work, but a few of the guys. S’nothing official, just those of us who did the grunt work to get this client. Do you have plans?” He asked as he moved on to his shirt now.

“Nope, no plans. Why?” You asked in confusion, as your eyes met through the mirror.

“Obviously I want you to join, sweetheart. If you want to.” He smiled in confirmation.

“Oh, sure!” You said quickly, “I’d love to.” You happily accepted his invitation. 

“Excellent! It’s formal wear, we’re doing a fancy dinner.” He grinned, “So get yourself something nice in the next few days yeah?” He said.

“Oh, ok. Is there like a specific vibe I should go for?” You asked as you turned to him and he came over to you and grabbed your face gently.

“Hmm…” he hummed pensively, “I’d say something sexy, but really classy. S’gonna be the first time you meet my work friends. Wanna show you off, gloat a bit.” He said to you, voice low and sultry.

“Okay…do I have to wear a bra with it?” You asked and he chuckled before kissing your lips deeply. After a few moments he pulled back with a smirk as his thumbs ran over the apples of your cheeks lovingly. 

“Mmmm, I’d prefer you ditch it for the night…but that’s just my opinion.” He grinned and you chuckled, “Probably pack a bag for overnight in case we get a little too wasted, yeah?” He asked and you nodded in confirmation, “Alright sweets, m’gonna hop in the shower.” He said before letting you go.

Needless to say, you were shocked. Hell must’ve been frozen over because Cal never even took you to the office holiday parties! So of course you accepted his invitation before he could take it back. Seeing Harry at this dinner had definitely crossed your mind almost instantly, but from what you knew, he didn’t really socialize with his colleagues outside of work so you got the possibility of seeing him again out of your head. Specially now that it seemed like Cal had made it past whatever midlife crisis he had been suffering. Maybe it was about time that you put the fantasies on the back burner and focused back on your husband. After all it seemed that he was extending an olive branch with this invitation. Making up for lost time and for his distancing from you. And well, in the interest of perhaps seeing Harry again in the future, you wanted to really wow his coworkers and make sure that you scored more invitations to work things.

*********

You had spent your lunch hours for the next few days scouring all the boutiques in your suburb for a dress that made you feel sexy but that wasn’t too slutty or suggestive. Always in the back of your mind asking yourself if Harry would like it, but then bringing yourself down from that hopeful cloud. You had found a dress that you loved and bought it, but despite that, you had walked into one more shop before heading back to your house.

You were looking through the racks when a beautiful magenta fabric caught your eyes and when you pulled it out of the bunch you immediately smiled at the dress it belonged to. It was a halter neck, which you would never typically go for, but you could already envision it on your body. There was a slit and the back had a little cutout that you imagined would serve to draw the gaze to the curve of your lower back and ultimately your bottom. The dress you had just purchased was a lot more understated, it flattered your shape and was definitely a less showy color, but you were practically drooling over this dress. It was gorgeous.

“It’s stunning isn’t it?” The clerk suddenly appeared beside you with a smile.

“Yeah…” you smiled at her.

“Want to try it on?” She asked with an enticing arch in her eyebrow.

“Absolutely.” You responded almost too quickly and she smiled and grabbed it for you and guided you over to the changing room. "Oh my god..." you sighed dreamily.

You were a vision in it. The color just livened you up and made you feel electric, powerful, and sensational. Your previous dress did make you look elegant and beautiful, but gave more of a demure and understated beauty vibe; it was the kind of dress you’d be expected to go for and typically did. But this other dress, it brought out an air of confidence in you, you could see the difference even in how you posed in it. Caleb did say he wanted to show you off…And well, even if you upstaged the evening, your husband had been having an affair for a year and while he seemed to be coming back to you, it couldn’t hurt to remind him of what he had and perhaps it would help to keep repairing the invisible, but tangible, distance that still existed between the two of you.

“I’ll definitely take it.” You said to the clerk with a smile.

After rushing a few streets down, you returned the other dress and then hurried home to your meeting. You’d keep the dress hidden in your closet until Saturday and surprise Cal with it as well.

**********

Cal had been quick to get ready, he didn’t stray too far from his day to day look, he just ditched his tie. You were working on your makeup when he told you that he’d be down in his office when you were ready to go. The dinner was at 7pm and you did have quite a drive according to Caleb, so you hurried to get your look together so that you could get on the road quickly. After spritzing on some setting spray you rushed into your closet and pulled the bag off of your new dress and smiled as soon as you saw it again. You quickly got undressed and slipped into it. You hurried back to the vanity to get a visual to tie the pieces of fabric for the halter top and you were struggling a bit.

“Sweetheart, are you almost-” Caleb’s voice stopped as he just gawked for a moment before he smiled, “Wow.” He said softly as your eyes met though the mirror.

“Yeah? Like it? Is this okay?” You asked timidly and he nodded.

“Yeah. You look great.” He smiled as he came up behind you, “Need some help?”

“Please.” You responded and he aided in getting the ties situated. 

“There you are, my darling. You all packed?” He asked softly and you nodded and allowed him to peck your lips.

“Yeah, my bag’s on the bed.” you said and he smiled.

“Perfect, I’ll take it and go start the car, OK?”

“Yeah, go ahead.” You assured and he went to do that as you wrapped up the final details of getting your shoes on, grabbing your purse, and finally getting on a bit of perfume and tucking a little travel version of it in your bag. You felt like a million bucks for the first time since Harry…and well, it was nice to feel good on your own, not because of another person so this felt so special. Like you were reclaiming yourself in a way. And so with that feeling of confidence making you glow you grabbed the bottle of wine you’d purchased as a gift and locked up the house before you carefully slipped into Cal’s Quattroporte, it was his baby and he’d take it out anytime he was feeling on top of the world. You hoped that you had something to do with it for now. 

The GPS indicated that you guys were heading down towards the Hamptons, which was a bit over an hour drive. Cal was conversing with you about your work and clients, which was kind of odd. He never really cared much for your event planning business apart from giving you the start up money. But you soon realized that he was nervous because he was incessantly tapping at the steering wheel and clearly, he was talking with you to keep his mind off of whatever was making him feel this way. You wondered if it was the fact that this was going to be your first time meeting his work friends? You knew that he always tried to create boxes to compartmentalize his life and merging them could sometime be nerve-racking. Instead of letting it trip you up and darken all of the light and positive feelings your were having over this invitation, you decided to just focus on how good you felt.

“Sweetheart, we’re almost there.” Cal’s voice and his firm squeeze to your knee roused you from your slumber. You yawned and rolled your shoulders back.

“Sorry, didn’t realize I fell asleep.” You spoke a bit groggily and he smiled at you. 

“God, did you guys rent out the biggest Airbnb?” You asked as you looked out the window. You were driving down the line of mansions by the coast.

“No. Didn’t spend a dime on this getaway thankfully.” He chuckled, “We’re going to the CEO’s vacation home.” He explained and you quickly turned to him.

“The CEO rents out his vacation home in the Hamptons to his employees?” You asked him incredulously, Harry seemed way too Type A for something like that.

“No, sweetheart. Of course not.” He scoffed through a laugh, “He’s the one throwing the party for us.” He explained and your stomach literally turned and you swore you were about to start sweating cold.

“So w-we’re sleeping at your boss’ house? You said it was work friends!” You said to him with panic in your eyes.

“Did I not mention that?” He asked and you shook your head, still in disbelief, “Oh, well either way, Harry’s from work and I mean, we’re not really friends or anything yet, but we’re friendly.” He explained, “And well, considering I just made him half a million dollars richer this week alone I’d say we’re about to get a lot more chummy.” He explained with a cocky grin.

“Cal, my tits are out! No one’s gonna take me seriously now…oh god.” You mumbled lowly and he chuckled.

“It’s alright, s’not like this is an official work event.” He assured you. 

But suddenly you didn’t feel so hot in your dress. You didn’t want Harry to think that you wore this dress as soon as you heard it was at his place to impress him or to try and seduce him after you had both agreed that it was a one time thing. Yes, he was hot and you had played with the idea at first, but that’s all it was! An idea. A fantasy that you could keep playing at in your mind but had no intention of following through with. You didn’t seek each other out because you both knew that what had transpired between the two of you so many months ago had been a sort of lapse in judgement that you both just indulged in to do some justice to whatever had been in the air and sparking between you two that entire night. You weren’t a cheater like Cal and you weren’t interested in jeopardizing your marriage because for the last couple of months it felt like you were on the mend and you didn’t want anything to get in the way of that.

“All your coworkers are going to think I’m a whore.” You said with slight irritation and Cal scoffed.

“They will not. You should see some of the women they bring around…”

“I don’t even want to know what that means.” You mumbled lowly. “I just don’t want to make a bad impression or give anyone the wrong idea about…us. You know how people are already and-” 

“You worry too much about what other people think, sweetheart. Who cares? If I cared what everyone said or thought I wouldn’t have you, would I?” He asked you with a small smile and well, the fact that his tenderness did nothing to your heart was a bad sign, “I mean, what’s the point of living life if you’re not going to have fun and take risks? You took a fucking risk, sweetheart! And I’d say it payed off.” He grinned at you and you shook your head before looking away to avoid him from seeing you smile at his compliment, “Hey, don’t turn away, look at me, sweets.” He insisted as he squeezed your knee again and you reluctantly turned back to him, “It’s going to be fine. They’re gonna love you.” He assured you and you just exhaled slowly and nodded, forcing a smile onto your face.

Finally, you were pulling up through a large iron gate and following the path down to the entrance of the home. There was a parking attendant that signaled for Cal to pull into one of the lines that had been drawn out for a parking space. Thankfully, there were already other cars there, so you wouldn’t be alone with him and Harry until more guests arrived. As soon as Cal parked the car someone was opening up your door to help you out, it was all very extravagant. You wondered if Harry always had this level of service or if it was just because he had guests tonight.

“Thank you.” You smiled as the man extended his hand and helped you down form the vehicle.

“Certainly. Do you have any bags you’d like us to put in the guest room?”

“Oh sure, they’re in the trunk.” You informed him and he smiled and hurried on to the back. You shot Cal a look and he looked just as surprised at this level of attention and service. 

Cal did offer to help carry the bags, but the man insisted he would do it as he led them over to the entrance of the home. There, someone else was waiting and took over for the man that had helped at the car.

“Good evening, Mr. Hargrove.” The man greeted Caleb with a nice smile before slightly glancing to you, “And who-”

“Gerard, this is my lovely wife, Y/N.” He said with a bit of emphasis which was odd, specially when Gerard’s eyes widened a bit in surprise. It shouldn’t have been too much of a shock to her…Harry himself had said that he had no idea Caleb was married.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Hargrove.” Gerard smiled and well, you hadn't actually changed your surname, but you didn't have the heart to correct Gerard. He looked to be a sweet man a already had been thrown for a loop just knowing that you were Caleb's wife.

“Pleasure to meet you, just Y/N is fine though.” You assured with a friendly smile and he nodded once.

“Well, I can escort you to the room you’ll be staying in before guiding you to the dining area?”

“Please, that would be great. I’d like to freshen up a bit”, “That won’t be necessary, just tell me which room.” You and Caleb spoke at the same time and then chuckled.

“Umm, you can go head, honey. I just want to freshen up and use the bathroom before we start drinking. I’ll meet you over there.” You assured him.

“Are you certain?”

“Yeah, of course. Go celebrate with everyone.” You insisted and he smiled and grabbed your face gently before kissing your lips quickly.

“Thanks, sweetheart. See you in a bit.” He assured and you nodded.

“Alright, let me show you to your bedroom.” Gerard said and then he got a bit awkward when you were alone as he guided you down a hallway.

“Ummm Gerard?”

“Yes, miss?”

“You don’t have to be weird around me. I expected that Cal had been here before with another person. Or persons…” you explained as you kept walking.

“Right. Well I’m sorry for making you feel odd, I just had no idea Mr. Hargrove had been married recently.” He said and your smile faltered a bit.

“Umm…it’s been seven years actually.” You said as he stopped in front of a door and turned around quickly with a concerned look on his face. “Ummm, have you worked for Mr. Styles for long?” You asked and he nodded.

“About 15 years.” He stated.

“And Caleb has…stayed here with other women how many times?” You asked him.

“I don’t know that I should-”

“I’m not going to cause a scene, I assure you. I just…I need to figure out if there’s anything worth salvaging after the most recent affair. It’s the only one I found out about.” You explained and he looked sad for you.

“I wish I could tell you for certain, but since he started working for Mr. Styles I uh- I’m really not sure, but there’s been a few. I’m sorry.” He said and you sighed.

“Alright, well thanks anyway. Is this it?”

“Yes, this is the room.” He said as he opened it up and let you in. He came in behind you and set your bags down on the large bed. “You have your own bathroom through here. If you need anything ironed or steamed for tomorrow feel free to just leave it hung up on one of these hooks and we’ll take care of it while you’re at dinner.” He assured.

“Thank you so much, this is gorgeous.”

“Of course, Miss. Anything else?”

“Obviously you’re quite busy, how would I find the dining area after I’m done?” You asked and he quickly explained and you nodded, keeping his directions fresh in your mind before you scurried into the bathroom.

You closed the door behind you and then turned around to look at yourself in the mirror. You took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as all of the information that Gerard had shared with you started to sink in. You started to wonder how long ago the cheating had started…maybe it was before you had even been married. The only good thing that could come of this dinner was seeing Harry again. And well, you knew that he probably wouldn’t even speak to you too much, but at the very least you could just steal discreet glances of him and forget about the fact that your marriage was basically a farce. But that wasn't all Caleb's fault, after all you had also slept with someone else. With his fucking boss of all people. But god, you would do it again if he wanted to...

***********

Caleb was glad that you had headed off to check out the room and freshen up. He had been so in his head about so much that Gerard almost tipped you off about his affairs. He had always been a man who wanted the best, who wanted more…and well when he got you he was shocked that he had managed it. You were everything he had ever wanted in a partner and throw in the fact that you weren’t just after his money, well he snatched you up right away lest he lose you to someone else. It’s not that he wasn’t happy with you and everything you had together, but sometimes he just needed to switch it up, he had always been like that so he never advertised that he was married. And while usually his extramarital affairs were limited to single events for work, things started to change when he met Daniela. Daniela wasn’t as ambitious or entrepreneurial as you were. In fact, she was a midlevel employee and seemed happy in her position. But she was about your age, if not a year or two younger, and yes she was smart and gorgeous in her own way, but she never made an effort to stand out all that much, but she was so good at what she did that she naturally stood out.

He met Daniela two years ago when he was told that she was the most reliable statistical analytics person they had. So he started to go to her to double check all his numbers, a second pair of eyes could never hurt when it came to numbers! But he soon found it helpful to also run all of the data he had for presentations to clients and other board members by her. Daniela was sweet and soft spoken and a bit shy while Cal was a people person. So what started out as him just doing nice things to get on her good side so that she would keep helping him, soon turned into gestures designed to increase their interactions because he liked her. His acts of kindness became motivated by these deeper feelings that he himself couldn’t understand at first because she was the opposite of everything he ever really went for, but they were there. Daniela had started to like his attention and thoughtfulness and so they started to have lunch together often or to get coffee together and the attraction grew.

All of this wooing reached it’s culmination after a Thanksgiving party a coworker threw. Caleb offered to walk Dani to her car and they ended up kissing. And after that they continued to see each other outside of work and Cal started to fall for her. He had pulled her into his project with this new client, so that they could spend more time together but also to get her on Harry’s radar because she was absolutely brilliant. But he had fucked it up; upon realizing the depth of his feelings for Daniela he decided to start writing out some talking points to talk to you about his growing feelings for her and brainstorm how to bring up the topic of a divorce to you. But Dani had no idea he was married, so when she saw that notes on his phone she got angry and broke things off with him. And here he was, months later, still heart broken and longing for Daniela.

“You look beautiful.” Caleb spoke softly as he came up to the bar beside Daniela. She sighed as she recognized his voice.

“What do you want, Caleb?” She asked lowly.

“Just to talk and explain. I want to fix us-”

“There is no more us, Caleb. You’re married and I have a boyfriend now so get over it.” She stated firmly and he sighed.

“Please just…I’m going to end it with her-”

“Caleb, please not tonight.”

“Does that mean we can talk soon?” He asked hopefully and she sighed.

“I don’t know, Cal…I’m just processing all of the lies…I just don’t trust you right now.”

“OK, I understand. I’ll just…give you some space.” He said and she nodded, “I ummm…I want to warn you that I did bring her with me tonight. I stupidly wanted to make you jealous-”

“Jesus, Cal..." she sighed feeling the anxiety starting to churn up her stomach, "Just…keep it together because I don’t want anyone to be suspicious and think I’m a home wrecker.”

“No one even knows I’m married. I like to keep the personal things private. So everyone will be meeting her tonight and learning about...my marital status so-”

“Well I don’t want to meet her. I couldn’t, it's humiliating…” she said lowly and he nodded.

“OK. I won’t introduce you.” He said and she swallowed down that awful feeling of disgust in herself, “I’m really sorry, Dani. For everything.” He said quietly as the bartender came back with her two drinks.

“Thank you.”  She smiled to the bar tender and hurried off without acknowledging his apology…again.

“Anything for you sir?” He asked and Caleb sighed.

“Ummm, not right now. Thank you.” He assured and turned around only to see Daniela smiling at the man she had brought with her tonight. 

He looked about her age and was quite bulky and strong, very handsome. Caleb couldn’t help but feel insecure as she watched him being introduced to some of the others that approached her. This wasn’t a big group, just about 10 of them or so, but with the plus ones, the group was a bit larger and well, hopefully he could sit somewhere where he could keep an eye on her. He felt his heart lurching in defeat as her boyfriend tucked her hair behind her ear in a delicate motion, she had this piece from her outgrown bangs that really defied her new hair part. He’d done the same thing to her plenty of times before and he wished he could be the one to do it for her now. 

Caleb had really tried to smooth things over with Daniela at the very least but she felt so betrayed. Understandably so, and she made it clear to him that she wasn’t ready to forgive him and that she intended to move on with someone else and it hurt that she seemed to be fairing well. Caleb had tried to move on too, to focus back on you and your marriage…hopefully being around you more would reignite the love he once had for you, but it wasn’t happening, he was too far gone.

He was running out of lifelines to salvage his chances with Dani. Earlier in the week, when Tamika (Harry’s assistant/intern) mentioned to him casually that she was excited to meet Daniela’s boyfriend at Harry’s dinner Cal felt his heart darken with anger. And in his anger he decide that he wanted to make Daniela jealous back, which is why he invited you, his wife to this dinner… all to make his mistress jealous. He knew that this was fucked up and unfair to you, but he was in love and he was desperate to get Daniela back however he could and she would be his again tonight. He had no idea how to proceed, but he was certain of one thing, whatever he did to get Dani back had to be done with courage, all the love in his heart, and most important of all, with discretion.

READ PART 2!

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[snowb3rryy]

Lucifer x F!MC

Unexpected Expectations

Summary:

A long trip to the human world seems to be enough to get a couple out of its routine.

MC is female and uses she/her pronouns. Written in 1st person.

Engish isn't my first language, so I may have made some mistakes.

Lucifer and I have been living in the Human World for the past 3 weeks. Diavolo sent Lucifer away to attend a long sorcerer festival that the preparations last for 2 months and the festival will be 2 weeks long. I decided to follow him both as a representative for both worlds but also to keep him company.

Since we'll stay for months, I asked Lucifer if we could rent a place for a couple of months instead of staying at a hotel. Strangely enough, he agreed almost immediately.

After our first weeks here, we got a good look of what domestic life looks like with each other. At first, I thought we'd be all day at the preparations for the festival but I was wrong. The head of the festival announced us as honorary guests so we just attend the event once per week.

Our days are filled with simplicity and peace. I'd wake up first, get ready and fresh for the day, then spend a whole hour to get Lucifer up and then we'd destroy the kitchen while trying to make breakfast. We both are good cooks but Lucifer is arrogantly acting like he knows how to use human appliances and he fails miserably every time. He is really only used in Devildom appliances that are technologically advanced and have a tad of magic.

Later, we'd mess around in the house, watch some tv while Lucifer's braincells burn due to the low quality of programs, then maybe some chess just to show off or a complex board game that takes me days to comprehend yet he understands it by reading the instructions once, and then our noon would end with us listening to music or watching some human world movie classics.

In the afternoon is when we start to get hungry so he usually goes grocery shopping alone and returns. We cook once more together with the same failure until I have enough and put him on time out and make him read the instructions of the appliances while I try to salvage the almost burnt food.

In the evening he manages to drag me out of the house and we go to a gallery, or a museum or a theater play. In the end I always feel happy that I actually went along with him.

Around midnight, we both feel wasted and fall asleep quickly. During our time here, I'd say our sex drive is slowly disappearing. The change of environment, the curiosity of Lucifer to learn the human world, my world better and our daily shenanigans leave us with no will to do more than just cuddle and snore till the sun is up.

Or so I thought. A few nights ago, I woke up, feeling thirsty. As I opened my eyes and tried to understand my surroundings, I realised Lucifer is out of the bed. Before even managing to collect my thoughts I hear a faint sound.

Aghh~

I rub my eyes and focus my hearing again. This time I hear faint painting and some more low grunts. I stand up and follow the sound, I'm led to the door next to the bedroom. The bathroom door. I bent down and look through the keyhole. I see Lucifer... and he's jerking off?? (Without me???)

I feel myself smirk and almost laugh.

I recall myself all those night I woke up in the middle of the night to masturbate as well, I never thought he did it too in the exact same spot as well. It's surprising since he always asks me to sleep with him, yet not this time. Take it because it's the middle of the night? No.. he has woken me up before... Maybe, then he didn't because we both are tired... But that didn't stop him either.

Whatever the reason is, I stop thinking the moment I hear my name come out of his lips.

His deep voice, whispering my name outloud as he's stroking his big cock~

I feel my legs press against each other. I want him, yet the moment I think to open the door and join him I hear him curse and moans a bit louder than before. I bent down and look through the keyhole again and see him cover his mouth with wide eyes as he holds his cock firmly at the base as his pulsating dick is releasing cum on the bathroom floor.

I curse at myself for losing this chance and return fast on the bed, taking advantage of his orgasm afterglow.

Soon he joins me on the bed, his aura feels lighter as he lays beside me and hugs me and kisses my cheek. He looks at me and whispers "How I wish you were with me, my darling. I'll make you mine again when we get a bit more used to our new routine".

He then falls asleep almost immediately. I don't know if he simply said his thoughts outloud to me or if he really knew I was awake.

The next morning arrives yet I'm not the same. I feel more stiff, more uncomfortable.

I haven't been able to sleep after that event last night. I want him, I need him. Yet he was so patient. He's right. We maybe need some more time maybe.. Maybe I should keep pleasing myself alone until we both feel more comfortable to our new reality. Yet this fire inside me is different than the rest. Last night was the first time I heard him moan and grunt in almost a month, and my pussy hasn't stopped leaking. I had to change underwear mutiple times.. Seriously..that guy drives me crazy.

I can't wait for the night so I try to find an excuse to get him out of the house.

- Lucifer, won't you go for groceries today?

I say a bit shaking, my mind is at the task to get him out of the house yet my body is already at the stage of pleasure.

Lucifer: Isn't it early yet? Sure I can if you want me too.

I nod and smile. Finally he takes his coat off and opens the door to leave... Yet he turns around the last moment.

Lucifer: The weather is warmer today, maybe you want to come with me and help me out?

- No, no

I say fast and I almkst push him out of the door

- Maybe tomorrow okay? Okay bye!

I shove him out and all I can see is his surprised expression before I close the door.

I immediately run to the bedroom and open his drawer.

There's my baby. My beloved vibrating dildo. I smile and get my clothes off fast and lay down on the bed. I touch my body all over the place and I tease my clit with my dildo rubbing against it. The sensation are brainmelting and become unbearable the moment I turn on the vibration. My mouth hangs open as my voice leaves my body strongly as the sensations of pleasure make my body numb. I close my eyes and imagine his touch on me, his lips on my nipples as he thrusts his cock in and out of me. My moans and breath are mixed together as my chest rises and falls faster with each passing moment.

Lucifer's POV

I look at the closed front door shocked and a bit... upset. I felt something is off from the moment I woke up. She seemed so... so out of touch, like her thoughts were somewhere else...

I collect my thoughts and walk to the market. I purchase the necessities for the meal and I start for my way home. I add in my head the task to stop by the flower shop before heading back. I pick a bouquet with her favourite flowers... I hope it will make her happier than she was when I left.

I arrive home and I unlock the door.

- Darling, I'm home

I get no reply. The moment I open my mouth ready to call for her again, I'm shut up by a loud moan. I get a bit curious. I let the bags on the kitchen counter and place the bouquet on the vase as I walk to the bedroom.

Every step I make brings me closer to the source of that sweet voice. As I stand outside the bedroom a mix of her voice calling my name and the maxed vibrator arrive in my ears. I smirk satisfied. It seems she really was awake last night.

I open the door, the view in front of mr is enough to make me cum yet, I keep my composure.

Someone seems to be.... impatient, my dear MC.

♡Hope you liked it! Let me know if you want a part 2~

Also, if you want, you can read it on Ao3, too🩷

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52762819

[enam3l]

rockstar eddie munson does halloween

I hit 100 followers which to me is crazy so to celebrate here is a special rockstar eddie halloween head-canons! thank you so much and i hope you have the best halloween

you can read all rockstar eddie munson stories and lore including Halloween pt 2 at #enamels rockstar eddie

Every year without fail, a Halloween party is held at Steve's house. It started in 87 and has been going strong ever since

You knew you were truly in love with Eddie once you spent your first Halloween together and saw how excited he was for it, how his eyes were lit up from at least 2 weeks before the 31st. You knew his friends and he was desperate to bring you to their big Halloween bash

The gang knew you and Eddie were endgame when he said he was bringing you to the Halloween party

Eddie was pretty sure he was in love with you but he knew you were his soulmate when you walked on him making extravagant decorations for the party and left just to come back with more supplies. You both spent the next 48 hours covered in PVA glue, glitter and fake spiderwebs

Eddie is pretty sure his heart stopped beating when you nervously asked him if you wanted to do a couples costume and suggested Aragorn and Arwen

You arrived together at Steve's the day before the party to set up the decorations you'd both crafted. Because he lived on his own and just in an apartment, Eddie never bothered to decorate his own place. Before he can stop himself as you're hanging a skeleton from the ceiling he blurts out 'I can't wait until we have our own home to decorate'

As Eddie panics and tries to work out how he can undo what he said, you look to him with a big grin and say 'We'll have one to decorate by next year.' The second you were home from Steve's you went looking for apartments, giddy you'd both finally admitted you wanted to live together

After getting married the pair of you decided it was time to move on from the apartment you got together and get a house in the hopes of starting a family. Eddie had of coursed argued getting a house meant you'd now have an attic to cram even more spooky paper mache creations

The perks of a house meant you could now decorate the outside and one of Eddie's proudest achievements was realising people were travelling just to see your home at Halloween. He'd sit by the front window, ecstatic as he watched people approach the house and seeing their reactions. He loved how children would look as if they'd stepped into a portal to another world. You loved seeing people appreciate how creative your husband was and how he was bringing years of his DnD universes to life

As the group got older and began to have children, Steve's parties continued. They now just started earlier for the kids who ran riot around a huge bonfire the men would put together. Once the kids were in bed, you all continued to party like you were teenagers again

And of course yours and Eddie's couples costumes continued even to the present day. Over the years you'd now been Edward Scissorhands and Kim, Gomez and Morticia and Jon Snow and Daenerys

Admittedly there were a few costumes you'd bought that never made it out the bedroom. Jessica Rabbit and Catwoman for example were banned by Eddie as he admitted he couldn't behave in public with you dressed like that

The worst part about Halloween was that Eddie returned to his most feral teenage boy self and attempted to live off a diet of candy. You wish you could say you've never had to replace your kids trick or treating sweets because your husband ate them all... but you had... multiple times

With your first baby you were around 4 months pregnant when Halloween came around. Eddie insisted on painting your small bump that had recently appeared as a pumpkin. And whenever he answered the door to trick or treaters he began to tear up at the children just thinking about how he'd have his own to take out this time next year

That year for Steve's you'd joked you could go as Alien and have a little alien ripping out your tshirt over your bump. Eddie did not find this funny. He refused to speak to you for several hours but continued to talk to the bump and apologise for its mother's behaviour

Before your first child (a little girl) was born, Eddie had already collected a variety of costumes for her. She was only 6 months old for her first Halloween but Eddie took her in her pram with Steve's nuggets so she could still have her first taste of trick or treating. That year the two of you brought back your Aragorn and Arwen costume but now gave your daughter and oversized ring so she could be a very cute Gollum

Once you had your second child you did the Addams Family. You as Morticia, Eddie as Gomez, your daughter as Wednesday and your new daughter as Pugsley. Dustin was a very willing Uncle Fester

Eddie's Halloween antics have become infamous today. Your kids mobbed online for requests of the decorations and yours and Eddie's couples costume each year

Oh, and he's still made you keep the Jessica Rabbit costume just incase

my requests are open as always! let me know what more rockstar eddie stuff you want or just anything else!

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Just Let Me Adore You Pt. 9

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: eh some violence but nothing major

Genre: Mostly fluff

Summary: You’ve been dating your boyfriend, Bruce, for 3 absolutely blissful years. He’s a scientist and professor who is as smart as he is kind and if anyone asked, you were sure you’d spend the rest of your life with him. That is until two mysteriously charming men that Bruce swears are dangerous take an interest in you that threatens to turn your entire life upside down. I mean… what exactly are you supposed to do with two gorgeous men telling you something that suggests that basically everything you think you know is a lie? And why does part of you have enough doubt to wonder if they might be telling the truth?

Series Masterlist

***

You hum to yourself as you make lunch before your shift at work. Wanda's working from home today so you make a sandwich for her too while you're in the kitchen. You take your lunch and hers to her room where she's hunched over her laptop.

"Lunch time." You say handing her her plate and sitting on her bed to eat your own.

"Oh- thanks, you didn't have to do that." She says.

"I know but if I leave you here until I get off work there's a chance you won't eat at all until dinner later." You shrug.

"I can feed myself." She protests.

"I know you can but I also know you hardly do. Eat your sandwich, work will still be there when you finish it." You say.

"Thank you y/n." She says tucking into her lunch.

"You're most welcome my dearest friend." You smile. "Oh, you know that bad movie we watched on Saturday?"

"Yeah, why did we do that?"

"Because bad movies are funny. Anyway, it has a sequel. So we'll have to get around to it soon."

"A sequel?!"

"Yeah apparently."

"Alright then, round 2. Is it on streaming or will we have to track down a physical copy?"

"It's on streaming don't worry." You chuckle.

"Good, great. Do you wanna do it tonight?"

"Sure I don't see why not. We'll watch it during dinner." You shrug. The two of you chat while eating lunch together and when you're finished you leave her to get back to work while you prep to leave for your own job. During the week most of the foot traffic in the store is from teenagers coming in after school so the first couple hours of your shift are a little hectic for you, Jack, and Delilah but it eventually slows enough for the three of you to start chatting.

"So y/n, how ya been? I feel like you've only been working with Peter these days. Delilah, have you met Peter?" Jack asks, the two of them are leaning against the counter of the coffee bar.

"No- he's the guy that started working here a few months ago right?" She asks.

"Yes, he is and I've been fine Jack, how have you been?" You ask.

"Doing great except I never see you anymore."

"I don't know what to tell you Jacky it's not on purpose." You scoff.

"Wait so what's the deal with this Peter guy? Do you have a thing for him or something?" Delilah asks looking between you and Jack.

"No! God no. Peter's a baby, he's only 19." You shake your head.

"She's basically adopted him and therefore completely neglected me!" Jack crosses his arms.

"Jack you are a grown man be serious." You laugh.

"Work more shifts with me." Jack glares at you.

"I'm already here like five to six days a week. Maybe pick up a couple extra shifts and we can talk." You retort. The bell over the door rings interrupting your conversation as the three of you stop fooling around to greet the new customers. When you look over at the door you're surprised to see Bucky and Steve walking over to you. Jack and Delilah clear out, pretending to be busy in other parts of the store.

"Hello, how can I help you?" You ask in your usual customer service voice.

"Hi y/n." Steve says.

"Hi Steve, hi Bucky, what brings you by?" You ask. They obviously didn't come here to order coffee.

"We had business in the area, we wanted to say hi." Steve says.

"Well, hi." You say.

"It's good to see you." Steve says.

"You haven't called." Bucky points out.

"Bucky." Steve scolds almost immediately.

"I've been a little busy the last few days but I didn't realize there was a deadline on when I was to call you." You say, one eyebrow raised.

"There isn't." Steve says sharply before Bucky can speak again.

"James?" You look at him.

"There isn't. I'm just anxious sometimes. I- we, like you, and we want to know how you feel." Bucky says.

"I had an amazing time, I think I told you that." You say.

"We aren't rushing you." Steve says.

"I know you aren't. Bucky needs reassurance and I can understand that. You will hear from me tonight, that's a promise, and you will see me again. Maybe later this week if we can schedule it." You say.

"We can be available whenever you want us to be." Bucky says.

"Go. I'll call later and we can discuss the details but right now I'm at work." You say with a light chuckle.

"Have a good day, y/n." Steve says.

"You two boys." You smile and with that, they leave, Bucky with a little more obvious reluctance than Steve. Delilah and Jack rush back over to the coffee bar counter as soon as they're gone, just as you expected.

"Who were they?!" Jack asks.

"Just- a couple of guys I know." You shrug.

"Know how?!" Delilah asks.

"And how can I get two of my own?" Jack asks.

"Jack." Delilah laughs.

"What?! Who wouldn't want two gorgeous men showing up to ask why you haven't called them? Like our girl has legs!"

"Okay, Jack, I do not have 'legs' and I can't help you get your own because I didn't even meet them on purpose." You laugh.

"Are you dating them?"

"You are so nosy! Go restock some toys or something." You say through laughter.

"Hey hey hey two mysterious and fine ass men just showed up here for your attention. I think that's fair game for questioning." Jack says.

"Well you're not gonna get any answers so." You shrug.

"You hate me." Jack glares.

"Drama queen." You snort.

"Evil Queen." He snaps back.

"Want an apple?" You ask with a smirk and he gasps.

"What is happening?" Delilah asks through chuckles.

"Jack is a harbinger of chaos." You shrug.

"Jack is healthily interested in his friend's life." Jack corrects.

"No, you're bored because no one's currently vying for your attention right?" You ask.

"Someone is always vying for my attention how dare you!"

"Oh so Tommy is still around? How about Lisa?"

"No, and no."

"You got new situationships and didn't tell me?! Oh but I've got to tell you about my mysterious visitors?"

"You know what I think the kids section actually could use reorganizing. I'm gonna go take care of that." Jack says coming up with an excuse.

"Yeah you go do that." You roll your eyes and Delilah continues to laugh through the exchange.

"You're both insane." She shakes her head going back over to the register on the other side of the store.

The rest of your shift goes by pretty quickly and when later comes you do call them. You finish your shift, go home, have dinner, and watch that bad movie with Wanda, and once you've showered and wound down for the night you call them. You plan a date with them for later in the week but after that, you spend hours on the phone talking. You ask them about their day and they tell you every single decision they made from the moment they woke up basically, and you ask questions about their work when you see one to ask and it's nice to hear them talk about it all since they want you to be involved. You talk and laugh well into the night until you eventually say goodnight because the sun is close to rising and you all have to be up during the day.

Over the next month or so, these end of the day calls become a routine. You call them almost every night, they discuss work with you and you tell them about your day too. Dates with them become habitual too. Once or twice a week most of the time. Sometimes it's something sillier and laid back, mini golfing, bowling, ice skating, other nights, they take you to the most lavish restaurants around the city and honestly, it's all very fun. You love dating them. They're as adoring as they'd promised and you try very hard not to act like you're waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Today, you're spending the day with them. Business stuff first and then dinner later. You want to see just what you'd be getting into if you took them up on the decision-making suggestion you made on your first date.

"Y/n! Your boyfriends are here!" Wanda shouts almost immediately after you hear the knock at the door. She knows you heard it she just likes to say that whenever they come by.

"Thank you Wanda my ears do work." You roll your eyes grabbing your phone and walking out to meet them. "Hi boys." You say.

"Hello sunshine." Bucky says and each of them kisses one of your cheeks.

"Hi y/n. Ready to go?" Steve asks.

"Yep! What's first on the list?" You ask as they walk with you to the apartment elevator and the three of you get inside.

"A meeting." He says.

"You guys do a lot of those it seems." You muse.

"Yes that is most of the job." He chuckles.

"You get used to it. Plus we've gotten pretty efficient we hardly have meetings that go longer than an hour." Bucky shrugs.

"Is this one going to be longer than an hour?" You ask.

"Probably not." He laughs.

"Alright because if y'all decided to start me with a long one I'd have some choice words for you both." You say exiting the elevator with Bucky and Steve only slightly trailing behind you as they chuckle at your words. Outside, a car, a different one than the one they usually take you on dates in, waits by the entrance of your building. Steve helps you into the car while Bucky gets in on the other side. The drive takes you to the building Steve and Bucky own in the heart of Brooklyn where they do all their work. They don't live in this building, they live in the penthouse of a highrise that they also own but they spend a lot of time here apparently. Bucky and Steve lead you to one of the meeting rooms in the building and sit with you at one end of the table.

"What's this meeting for by the way?" You ask.

"A former business associate. He's encroaching. We're straightening him out." Bucky says.

"Why would he willingly come here if he's encroaching?" You ask.

"Who said anything about willingly?" He smirks at you. Just then a man is hauled in and dropped half into the chair on the other side of the table.

"Well, that's one way to do it I guess." You mutter. The guy quickly straightens himself in the seat prepared to make a case, but he stops when he sees you between Bucky and Steve.

"You I've never seen before." He frowns.

"Never seen you before either." You shrug.

"And chances are you won't ever see her again. Unless you're tired of breathing." Bucky glares.

"You aren't supposed to be in Brooklyn. That was the deal. We let you live, you get outta town." Steve says. "So why are our people seeing you?"

"I don't want any trouble. I was sent here on a delivery for someone." The guy explains.

"Barton!" Bucky shouts.

"Please." The guy says as the door swings open. Clint stands there awaiting instructions. You knew he was part of this but it is a little strange to see him in action. Still, you wave at him before you can think better of it and he nods in greeting back to you.

"We were merciful once. You took it for granted." Steve says.

"Send him off with a gift." Bucky says.

"On it." Clint drags the mystery man back out of the room.

"A gift?" You ask Bucky.

"Around here we believe in shooting the messenger. It sends a message." He shrugs.

"Clint's gonna kill him?" You ask.

"Almost." Bucky says. Steve stands up first.

"Come, we have a few more things to do before dinner." He says and you and Bucky follow him out of the room. The three of you spend the afternoon going to a few more meetings and checking out a couple of warehouses before eventually heading to dinner.

"So how do you feel about your first day with us?" Steve asks once you're sat in the restaurant.

"Fine. Pretty good. It was simpler than I thought." You say.

"Well, we didn't wanna overwhelm you on day one. Thought it would be nice to start you off on an easy day." He shrugs.

"An easy day? What does that mean then?"

"It means, next time we'll show you where you keep our hostages." Bucky says kissing your hand and you laugh.

"Wait you don't actually keep hostages do you?" You ask when your giggles die down.

"Not regularly, but every once in a while." He says.

"Really? What for? I mean you don't need ransom money, do you? You guys seem to be doing pretty well for yourselves with your actual business ventures."

"Information usually. And sometimes we have to, deal with some... rivals of ours." Bucky answers.

"Rivals? What are you dealing with there?" You ask.

"It's most often territory related." Steve says.

"So- is gang activity like intrinsically part of werewolf life or is that just you guys since you happen to run a criminal empire?"

"It's just those of us who run a criminal empire. At least around here." Bucky chuckles.

"We take care of the wolf families in the area. Offer protection." Steve says.

"In exchange for what?"

"Nothing except their loyalty and if we need help we like to think we can count on them. Small stuff of course, stash this here or send someone there. We aren't asking them to fight our enemies or anything." Steve explains.

"Okay so these rivals of yours, are they also wolves? Are they human? Is it like you versus other supernaturals?"

"Our biggest rival happens to be a group run by vampires so- yeah I guess us versus other supernaturals." Bucky says.

"Oh so is it like on sight with all vampires because I know a halfling that I've been friends with for a good portion of my adult life and I'm not trying to have problems with him."

"Wait what?" Steve frowns.

"Say that again?" Bucky's face matches Steve's and you look at them both with confusion.

"I don't want to fight with my friend?" You say hesitantly.

"You know a halfling?" Steve asks.

"What the hell does that mean?" Bucky asks.

"Uh his dad is a vampire and his mom is a witch and he's like half a vampire because of it." You shrug.

"So, vampire plus witch makes half vampire baby?" Bucky frowns.

"And a witch." You add.

"What?" Steve blinks.

"He's a twin, his sister is a witch. So he got the vampire genes and she got the... magic." You explain.

"Well, no it's not 'on sight' with every vampire we see, but we know who our enemies are." Bucky says.

"What's your halfling's name? We'll get him checked out, make sure he's on our list so everyone knows he's not a threat." Steve says.

"Pietro. Pietro Maximoff." You say.

"That name sounds famil-"

"Wanda. He's Wanda's twin brother." You cut Steve off with the answer to the question he's about to ask.

"Wanda has a twin who's a vampire?!" Steve asks.

"Why are we just now hearing this?" Bucky asks.

"I didn't think it was pertinent. It's not like she walks around discussing her lineage. It's really not something she likes to talk about and consider ourselves lucky. She never even told Bruce she was a witch and she told y'all."

"Yes well, part of how Bruce made his living was observing and experimenting on us. I wouldn't tell him such information either." Steve says.

"Regardless. Just make sure you don't hurt Pietro." You say.

"We'll have him checked out and put him on a safe list." He nods.

"Checked out?" You ask.

"Well considering he's a vampire there's a chance he's already been gotten to by our rivals in which case putting him on a safe list would be a lost cause." Steve shrugs.

"Pietro's pretty straight laced I don't think-" You trail off midsentence remembering that Peter is probably involved in criminal activity.

"Don't think what?" Bucky asks.

"I was going to say I don't think he'd be in a mob but Sam seems pretty straight laced too and he's not only in it but he's high up on the ladder so, what do I know?" You shrug. "Do whatever checks you have to do but do not make Pietro an enemy. You'd put me in a very awkward position as Wanda would die for her brother and she'd also die for me and I will never make her choose like that."

"We won't make him an enemy. Promise sunshine." Bucky says.

"You two need nicknames." You hum.

"What?" Steve chuckles.

"Bucky calls me sunshine and you call me princess, so I need to give you corresponding nicknames too. I'll sleep on it." You nod. Steve shakes his head and kisses your cheek. The three of you enjoy dinner together talking and laughing like second nature. Honestly, even though you've only been actually dating for a couple of months, the fact that they've been pursuing you for much longer than that sometimes makes it seem like your relationship has been longer than just a couple of months. Plus they're extremely open with you, it's so easy to talk to them and get to know them. It's nice.

***

Part 9/???

Tagged Users: @cjand10 @vicmc624 @mandijo17 @marvel-fandom23

[depraved-gf]

How fitting that I would write this exactly two months to the day after I went no contact with this boy. Hm.

Well. You all requested the story of the last boy I ever had feelings for. So buckle up. It's worth it to note that I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), so while I do have a Fearful Avoidant attachment style, if I do happen to find that rare attachment, my feelings can get intense and happen very quickly. I don't get to choose it, but sometimes my BPD can also latch onto someone and make them what's called a Favorite Person (FP).

An FP to someone with BPD is like looking up at God. It can be anyone. You see, an FP can do no wrong, even if they do. You attach to them, connection wise, emotionally, spiritually, and they're your every waking thought. It's toxic for both parties. And for someone with BPD, forcing yourself to detach from an FP feels like LITERAL death.

I've only had 2 of them, including this boy. The one before him was my toxic ex of 14 years. Yes... 14 years, I stayed with my last FP. Do you see why an FP can be detrimental?

Anyway. I met this boy online. We'll call him J.

Y'see, I post on occasion to NSFW reddit. I began doing this after my big breakup to see if someone like me could ever be desirable. Again... This was a very long and neglectful relationship. I've posted on and off, but back in late September, I was posting while I was still FtM (Female-to-Male) and transitioning. This matters.

I received a chat request from this guy. I looked at his profile. Really liked what I saw. Saw that he commented often on another FtM's profile, thus making him okay with my transitioning body - a big plus and a nice refuge from the constant misgendering and need for a "female body."

J messaged me kindly enough. He didn't immediately sexualize me. I mean, he did, but it was welcomed and as expected on NSFW reddit. But he was kind about it. Even funny, really.

I initially didn't respond all that much. A couple times every few days, maybe. In a sea of messages, I don't often have a lot of energy to respond. But it wasn't long when I got the message, "so, if we're going to talk [like this], I may as well get to know the person behind the pics, right?" and proceeded to ask about me. My interests. My favorite things. [Note: I wish I still had the account, but I deleted it entirely so I wouldn't continue to hurt myself while looking back at these messages. I only have the meaningful screenshots left.]

So we talked.

A lot. A lot, a lot, a lot. We got to know each other. Sexted. Made personal videos for one another. And went right back to talking normally. All day, everyday. He lived 3 hours away. I learned that he was the 4th of 12 kids, and he learned that I lost my eldest brother to drugs. I learned his favorite color was purple and he learned mine is nature green. We both were heavily abused in past relationships and never knew what it felt like to be loved or cared for. We both gamed, we enjoyed the same hobbies. He ensured to always ask if he was crossing any gender boundaries, asked me what I preferred to be called, always, always was so considerate towards my transition.

We agreed to talk more and become FWBs. But both of us were so shy and fearful of meeting since we'd never met anyone from online before, so we agreed to talk a little longer. J is the most shy, yet arrogant man I've ever met lmao. [Just my type. Shame on me. I love a god complex.]

Days passed. A week. Two. All day, everyday, J and I would talk. And once I started feeling a little dysphoric about being male, he very quickly switched over to using my preferred pronouns and pet names. It was seamless, and something I never experienced before.

He encouraged me to be the best version of myself. I encouraged him to get back into streaming on twitch, his past relationships always making him quit or mocking him for doing it.

We sent face pictures after being shy. We sent voice notes. He made it a game to try guessing my deadname (with my permission), and when I told him he had to guess extremely early-mid 90s names, he sent me more voice notes. [These, I do still have]. "It's Katherine. No? Okay, dammit. I'm going to get this, Isa, mark my words. [The next day, another voice note.] So I was actually thinkin' about it ALL DAY, but I kinda don't wanna say my next guess because it's gonna be kinda awkward if it's right- [second voice message after I encouraged him to say it] -*a smile in his voice* No, Isa, I do not have the voice of a Greek god, leave me alone *laughs* you're just tryna make me all smiley and shit, motherfucker. Okay, so I was thinkin' it's Samantha, 'cause that's a super 90s ass name, right?"

He had told me I had the voice of an angel and I told him he had the voice of a Greek god. [And tumblr, he did. Ohhhh, he did. Just hearing them again to type it out gave me full body chills. Ugh.]

He trusted me when his aunt unalived herself. Vented to me, said he wanted to take time for himself but that he just couldn't stay away from talking to me, explaining that he didn't even trust his best friends with the grisly details of her death because it was so bad.

I'd also occasionally get 3am messages saying he's thinking about me.

Or little things like, "I can't talk to anyone like I talk to you, Isa." Or while he was driving to work, he'd send me sky pictures since he lives in rural [state], knowing I sort of miss the pretty country skies. "It's so pretty out today, nothing compared to you, though." or-

He'd keep sayin' real cutesy shit like that for a FWB. But then, he asked me to send a few songs his way that would generally explain my music taste. This was the kicker - I was raised in a full musicians household. Music is quite literally my life. It's my home. My sanctuary. So when I sent him over my songs, thinking he'd never heard of my shit, he sent back the same shit. And we agreed to go see August Burns Red in early December. Our first meeting was going to be a concert for a band we both loved. [Yes. Ouch, in hindsight. I ended up not going, obviously.]

So the mf made me a whole playlist on Spotify since it's what I use. And I made him one on YouTube premium since it's what he used. And I shit you not, it's just about the same fucking music. Really freaked me out but in the best way.

Then... After more days passed, I had a really, really bad night. Y'see, I suffer from gallbladder issues from my very fluctuating weight throughout my life. I have EDs (eating disorders) - I've been in the 80lb category before, and I've also been up in the 280s. I've not been kind to my body and this is my payment. One night, I had a particularly bad episode. If you've never had a gallbladder attack, imagine the most intense pain you've ever experienced - now, take it and form it into a very sharp, spiky, WAY too small rubber band, and wrap it around your entire abdomen across your sternum and around your back. Deal with that 12/10 pain for a full day, nothing touching it, and then deal with the aftershocks of it for a full week after. [I have doctor phobia. Leave me alone. I manage.]

I had a particularly bad attack, and J was there. We hadn't done much else except talk on reddit and occasionally snap or text and send cute voice notes. But that night, he remembered that I mentioned finding comfort when my ex would play games while I was sick. I love to watch people play games if I'm not the one actually playing for once. It relaxes me. It reminds me of the simpler times when my brother and I would stay up and play Final Fantasy until the early morning hours. J did something I didn't expect, though - on Discord, he offered to call me while he played his game before he had to stream with his friends. We hadn't talked on the phone before this, both of us just far too shy and afraid to fuck it up.

But he did. He called me. And it was awkward, and it was adorable, and so, so endearing. It comforted me through the immense, blinding pain. It didn't seem so bad when I had that voice comforting me in my ears.

He even stayed on a little later and made his friends wait to ensure I was comfortable, before he hung up to stream. And even then, this man had always been so good about texting during his game even when I told him to "focus, dummy!<3." I turned on his stream after that and I fell asleep to his voice. In what was once searing pain, I managed to fall asleep.

But y'see, J wasn't just super sweet. He was possessive. When I posted on reddit, he'd always tell me how jealous he got that I was talking to others, even passively in my comments. Again, a huge turn on for me. He told me I was his. That he'd come show me who I belonged to.

Eventually... We confessed that we had feelings for one another. "You got me actin crazy, I've never given out my number to anyone online, I be thinkin' about you at 4am all the time, workin' to keep you around... I'd say I prolly do [have feelings]."

It got serious after that when he confessed it truthfully without jokes. That one is for me.

Oh, and here's me, in all my flirtatiously awkward glory:

What a surprise, Isa doesn't know how to flirt.

But... Some things didn't add up after a while. He didn't like to snap much, instead opting to remain on reddit. He kept making the time to meet later and later, eventually saying he likely wouldn't be able to come up until late January, and this was mid-October. I expressed my concern on the matter, saying that I understood his hesitation if he wanted to take time, but also that I was admittedly upset after I was the one who already bought our tickets and accommodations and shit. And it seemed to be fine. "Aight listen, you're right, I'm sorry. There really is no reason, I was just scared of fuckin' this up. If my babygirl wants to see me sooner, then imma make it work. ABR [August Burns Red] it is, send me the ticket again." [<- REMEMBER THIS!!!]

Then, we'd get into tiny little spats.... Where he'd then say shit like, "well it's not like we know each other, goddamn." And be immediately cool with ending it.

But then he'd apologize for acting up. "If I'm acting dumb just tell me and I'll act right"

It was small things at first. Then he suddenly started getting distant.

I wouldn't hear from him a whole lot. And so when I communicated and asked him what was up, October 19th, he finally spoke up and said he was angry that I made him feel forced and rushed to come see me.

And y'know what I did?

I apologized. Cried to him. Begged him to stay and that I'd be better. Felt like such a shit person for making him feel forced, even though I went back much later into the messages and saw that I was extremely understanding about his anxiety, and only upset about the plans after he had me buy the tickets/accommodations.

Looking back, it wasn't my responsibility to read through the lines of him retracting back to agreeing to go. And it ended up being a cop out. [I'm getting to this. Just trust me.]

So we talked normally after that. Even sorta flirted like normal, but it was strained. You could tell.

"Makin' me do the lil smiley thing again" he said to our little Mr. Miyagi banter. [An inside thing...]

October 21st, though.

9pm.

"Isa. I wasn't going to tell you this, but you deserve to know.

I learned about a week ago that I got my girlfriend pregnant. And ion wanna keep doin this shit with you if imma make it right. No reason we can't still be friends tho?"

...what- HUH?!

My heart exploded. I couldn't breathe. I tried so hard to physically hold myself together where it felt like my core was going to snap in half. I was dying. Dying. DYING.

He explained that he was planning to break up with her for a while because it began as a drug relationship and they don't really talk since he got clean, but that she's very volatile and he's afraid of what she'd do if he left.

I simply wished him well and went no contact.

I was dying. Dying. DYING.

I watched his streams just to hear his voice one more time. I listened to the voice notes. I needed him. I craved him.

Pleasecomebackpleasecomebackpleasecomeback

I did my own research. Turns out they were engaged.

I was dying. Dying. DYING.

I drank myself to near death. Jameson Black Barrel Whiskey will never taste the same. Countless hours spent venting to my poor roommate. Yelling. Screaming. Feeling hollow. Empty. Dead.

He was my FP, and now he was dead.

...............

About a month later, mid-November, I got a reddit message. "Is it bad that I still come to your page to check on you?"

My response was surface level. I wasn't strong enough not to respond yet. But I did leave him on read after that. "Well, you know I'll always be a fan of you."

Maybe 2 weeks later, I had seen that he was streaming with a camera on this time. I watched him. The way he carries himself, his voice, his mannerisms. I was okay for the most part, but it was bittersweet. Like an old flame.

I saw him look down at his phone, and Bing! My phone went off.

"I see you on stream 👀"

And he got visibly more excited. Animated with the game. More talkative and smiley.

And then I left. I deserved that power play. And I haven't been back.

I deleted my reddit account after that. Didn't want to look back. Didn't want the memories. Started up my backup.

And last night, at 2am, I got a chat request from a familiar name.

And here we are.

I still think about him at least a couple times a day, but it's fleeting. Like looking back at an old flame, like I said before.

I learned that situationship breakups hurt worse than relationship breakups do, because you weren't able to see the bad side of it yet.

But oh, me.

Boys, boys, boys.

Y'all drive me fuckin' crazy.

So, here's to you, J.

[brunchbitch]

thought i would do an update since it's been a while!

9/27/23

things are going well with settling in to seattle! i'm doing lots of wedding stuff - got measured for my dress and had a makeup trial last week so it's starting to feel real! 10 months from today! next steps are sending out save the dates and deciding on catering, which will be fun bc we get to taste test everything.

a is doing well! he is taking a creative writing course that starts this week, and hockey starts this week as well. the seattle kraken have an adult league with over 100 teams (!!). he had tryouts (i almost wrote auditions lol) a couple weeks ago and got placed in the second highest division! i'm excited to go see some games, but the first one is tomorrow night at 10:45!!!! so if that's any indication of average game times, maybe i won't make it lol.

it has been raining every day for about five days now... it's reminding me of one of the hardest parts of living in seattle. i need to invest in a happy lamp and get some vitamin d.

as for the job front, i'm feeling frustrated and, before calling the DOH this morning, very confused about my path towards being a licensed independent clinical social worker (licsw). the requirements are pretty different in seattle. you start out getting licensed as a social worker associate advanced (lswaa), which basically means i have the necessary education but haven't gotten required post grad supervision to apply for the next level, which is a licensed advanced social worker (lasw). i'm required to obtain 3200 hours of supervised experience under an licsw which, full time, would be about a year and a half. then i apply to be an lasw, and once i'm approved i can take my sw generalist exam. THEN to become an licsw, i need 4000 additional supervised hours (~2 years full time). so 3.5 years working full time before i can get my licsw, and then have to take the clinical exam. in ma, it would've taken 2 years to get my licsw. i'm not sure why wa state requires so much more, but it explains why the pay ranges have been higher than what i expected.

i've been studying for the exam, bc that's what would be the next step in boston. so that was wasted time lol. hopefully some of it will stick in my brain so i'm not starting from square one when i start studying again in ~a year and a half. so now i really need to just focus on getting a job. i've had one interview and they never even got back to me. i probably would've turned down the job anyway (not exactly what i was looking for - a lot of independent time and not much of an ability to collaborate with other social workers, which i think is important being a new grad), but it still would've been nice to be offered the job lol. i've been getting so discouraged but trying to remind myself that something will work out eventually. even if i hate the job, i can stick it out until i get my supervised hours at least. and then i can look elsewhere.

i have a screening today for a job that is pretty close by my house. it's a primary care center that serves a lot of people who have high resource needs. i was hoping for a more acute setting (like inpatient hospital), but it does seem some of the patients would be pretty acute. so we'll see how the screening goes.

mental health is good - i've really appreciated being able to see L again. still smoking a shit ton, which concerns her, but trying to do better this week.

luna and lia are good - they've definitely adjusted. lia is sleeping on top of her cat tree right now hehe. unfortunately luna is getting a dental done at the vet right now and she had to have two tooth extractions :(. she's had several extractions before due to resorptive lesions, but the last few years her teeth have been good so i was hoping they wouldn't have to take any out. so she'll be on pain medication for a few days, but she's been through that before. i'm going to shower her with love when she gets home!

[astral-athame]

((Life for me has pretty much been: Wake up at 8am. Desperately try to get more sleep until 9 (usually I doze off for, like, 2 or 3 minutes at a time and that's it). Get ready for work. Leave between 9:30 and 9:45. Work from 10-1:30-ish (it's supposed to be until 1:15 but I'm never out of there on time). Get home around 1:45. Leave for work part 2 around 2:30. That goes from at least 3-7, usually closer to 7:20 when I finally leave (sometimes stay until 8 or 9). Get home between 7:30 and 7:45. Make a quick dinner, shower, etc. Around 8:30, watch Ba.tt.le.st.ar Gal.act.ica with a couple of friends (if things work out, this couple may eventually be more than just my friends, but we'll see how that goes ^^;) until about 10:30, then chat with them for a bit after that, usually until almost 11. Bedtime routine (wash face, brush teeth, etc etc). Then stare at drafts until midnight when I realize I need to get to bed because I know I'll be up earlier than I need to be. Then the weekends have consisted a lot of babysitting, running errands, and trying to finish unpacking here and there because it's been 4 months and finding time to unpack has been a pain in the ass with everything that's constantly going on. Also, I spent 3 hours on Saturday putting together a kitchen cabinet- thankfully we have extra screwdrivers because the phillip's-head screwdriver they included was such bad quality that it was messed up and unusable less than half an hour in because the metal of it was so soft -_-

ANYWAY- Work both shifts the rest of the week (except Friday, but only because I don't have to do the second shift, still have the first). Saturday we're going out for my dad's birthday (which was actually last week, but we couldn't make things work for going out last weekend like we'd wanted to). Saturday night is also game night, as usual. Then Sunday I *should* have some free time, but I also desperately need to get some cleaning done that's being semi-neglected throughout the week. So what I'm saying is Sundays are chore days.

If things go well, I should, soon, only be working the first shift in another week or two (with the second shift just being Fridays and when absolutely needed)? Right now both my sister and I are stuck doing the second shift every night (and have been since before mid-winter break last month) because the custodial staff is down two people (one girl broke her leg and has been out since October, I think? And the other has been on temporary (paid) probation since early February while they consider whether or not to fire him and go through all the legal jargon of all of that). But they should be coming to a decision about that soon, I would hope, which would mean that if he gets to come back, then we won't be working nights unless someone calls out. And if he doesn't come back, then they should be hiring someone to fill his place so we'll just have to wait until someone snags the job (hopefully, in that case, they'll offer it to my sister first because usually they try to offer it to substitutes and she really wants it, but we'll see). They're also slowly running out of budget for substitutes, so, that's something to consider, too.

ANYWAY- TL;DR: I've basically had no writing time / personal time and that's why I've not been around. Hopefully work stuff will calm down soon because leaving the house around 9:30am and not really getting to be home until usually after 7:30pm (sometimes 8:30pm or 9:30pm) has been exhausting ^^;

I'll try to be around on Sunday (probably focus on Rogue's blog because I've been writing the fic in my head at work most nights so I have a lot of muse for her AND her blog has been sorely neglected for at least a few months now WHICH MAKES ME SO MAD AT MYSELF). If I can even get one or two asks done, then I'll consider that an accomplishment at this point!

I'm so sorry about the long absence. I'm sorry to everyone for neglecting replies. I'm sorry to everyone I was writing with and haven't had the time / social and physical energy / emotional capacity to reach back out to in a while. That's on me. I dropped the ball on that. I've never been good at ooc communication anyway, tbh. I was really hoping things would be a little bit calmer after I moved, but instead they went in exactly the opposite direction and haven't really slowed down any since November. In fact, they've just gotten more hectic over the last few months ^^;

I adore you all so much and I really do hope that I can get back to writing soon. I've been missing it (and all of you) terribly.

Take care and I'll try to be around soon <3))

[ralexsol]

HELLO EVERYONE! IT IS TIME FOR MY ANNUAL ART RECAP!!

This year, a lot of my art was not shared online. I did a lot of sketching, and the digital art I did do was often new designs for npcs in the Call of Cthulhu oneshot I wrote (which I am keeping mostly to myself for the time being). So while it may seem that I didn't do too much this year, I think it's safe to say I did my best to grow when I was able to!

All the same, there was some art I DID share with you all, the best of which have been collected here. 4 of these were projects for the digital art class I took this past Fall semester at school, 4 are Slime Story pictures, and 4 are PD pieces. I honestly don't know how it ended up that way, I guess I just love drawing the PD! And the Slime Story ones are a given, because I just LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

I remember the process for each of these pieces so clearly. All of them required hours upon hours of work - even the Fresh!Ink one, his design is so fucking complicated. But I'm so glad I was able to be patient and finish every single one of them. The craziest thing is that I can see the progression of my art skills even just through this year - comparing the 1st PD piece to the Loki animation is astounding. I have been feeling a little more insecure about my art lately, so it's reassuring to see that I haven't been entirely stagnant.

And most importantly, I DID 2 ANIMATIONS?? IN A WEEK??? Yes, one was a looping 12 frames and the other was just 3 seconds, but still??? Real animation, and it looks good!! It may not be the 3-minute PD animation I've been wanting to work on for over a year, but it's a start for certain. My dream of becoming an animator had died briefly in favor of the idea of majoring in comics, but now I don't know! Seeing characters come to life, and that being my doing? It's awe-inspiring. I just love it so much. So, we'll see what animation projects I attempt next!

I can't wait to conquer future challenges in my art journey. I hope to open commissions in a few months and to actually get clients, but we'll see how that goes! I'm definitely not as skilled as a lot of aspiring artists my age, so it may take another couple years to really be able to pull in customers. As for right now, I'll continue sketching little guys and relearning how to draw hands :)

[aestheticvoyage2023]

Day 263: Wednesday September 20, 2023 - "Tucson Overnights"

On Monday we sat in the pool and mentally crafted how this next two weeks would go. Its a long stretch in front of the two of us. And our goal is for William to not have to feel anything but complete normalcy and stability from his parents. I want to be above any self imposed anxiety, and rise above the exhaustion of the grind. I suggested that we just take it in small chunks - just one quarter at a time. And I like the idea of winning each quarter. Especially the 4th Quarter. I am not sure that any of this resonated with Audrie, but I was saying it for myself anyway. Ahead of me an important gauntlet and measure of my nurturing fatherhood intentions - 10 Nights of "Primary Parenthood" - the phrase I am lending to these stretches where we let Mama focus on her career and the demands of her profession - during a time when potty training is fragilely in focus, and his two-year-old tides seem remarkably regulated; important, very important days. I told Audrie, "I just really need to on top of my game. I have to be well prepared to do good here." But the saving grace, making a 10 night stretch like this reasonably possible was that across the 10 nights, were some well placed Mama-breaks to get us on through. As I laid it out, it was perfect and smooth and easy in my mind - I totally got this! First Quarter - Monday evening "Bye Bye Mama" to Wednesday Night, where after a Tucson Overnight, we'd all get a break and refilled with Mama's love. We'd all go into the Second Quarter replenished and cruising towards the weekend halftime show in San Diego, where we'd be crashing mama's overnight for break #2.

In the second half, we get Mama home on Sunday night and Wednesday night again, as we close out the month, with me getting a little solo break for all my efforts.

Suddenly this big long intimidating stretch was manageable. 4 quarters. Take them one at a time. And so I had a plan to get me positively from Monday afternoon until today. I won the first quarter. I left Audrie alone and let her sleep in our bed most the day, and then she took William in the evening and did bedtime on her own (as if William would have it any other way - a couple times I tried to join them and was met with "Daddy go away". His Mama break time. I totally get that. And was grateful for the brain break that this gift gives me. I laid on the couch listening to them read books, mind mapping the 2nd quarter game plan. "These Tucson overnights are so damn cool." And by cool I knew the reflected expression was of being able to be totally off the hook for a few hours this evening. But it was also in seeing just how damn much William enjoyed having his mama here, to pick him up from school, to take him to dinner, to do his bath time. I have this thing with William where I ask him if he loves his mama and he says "yesssss. and then I tell him, "not near as much as she loves you." I tell him so often how much she loves him when shes gone to work. And he knows it. And when shes home, he feels it, and soaks it all up, every bit he can get. They talked at bedtime, about how shed be gone when he woke up, and sure enough he wailed and cried at 5am when he rolled over to try to find her. He knew she was back at work. He cuddled into my warm armpit with big real tears, and we breathed in the flowers, and out the candles, a trick shes taught both of us. She was there,even when she was gone - in the loving confidence and nurturing stability I can lend him in her absence - its all her. The 2nd Quarter started off in such a loving memorable way, thanks to that little break that let us all reset and regulate. She was off to work for one more leg back to LAX before starting her two day to Austin and San Diego where we'll see her again in about 60 hours. We cruise into the next quarter talking and scheming about San Diego and our next fill-up.

Song: Fall Out Boy- We Didn't Start The Fire

Quote: If you're lost you can look and you will find me Time after time If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting Time after time If you're lost, you can look and you will find me Time after time If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting Time after time

~Cyndi Lauper

[fountainpenguin]

Blog Stuff

^ Like, "FYI if you want to block tags" stuff

Little announcement here: Factor It In is on hiatus for now, probably for the rest of 2023. I know where the story is going overall and I know where the next chapter's going, but I struggled more than expected with the "Torus" voice (took like 6 weeks longer than the other chapters and all of it painful :'D)

I don't want to face a timecrunch struggle with TJ and Rose POVs (two characters who will be new to me), so I'm taking the bi-weekly update stress away and putting the 'fic on hiatus for now. But I wrote 77k before a hiatus was needed so I'm proud of that <3

We've got some 130 Prompts coming up as well as "Unicorn Years" for Origin in September (and hopefully a special Friday the 13th piece in October). In other words, FOP stuff is still bi-weekly as usual.

-> As a reminder, the 130 Prompts are posted in the order they are for a reason. You don't have to read them all if you don't want to, but extra context is always nice. If you've been dragging your feet on "Looking Back" by any chance... I might recommend that before the next update, which is "Sentry" ;)

On the "off" Friday I'm planning one-shots for various fandoms, especially shorter character studies. Really want to practice capturing a variety of voices, some quicker one-shots, and maybe I'll try some characters I don't use a lot. Or I'll be self-indulgent and focus on my faves... who knows.

Hoping to post more Come What May as well since you guys were excited to see it back <3... and it would be nice to actually finish a non-one-shot 'fic for the first time in. 7 years.

It's probably been obvious, but I also took a long hiatus from digital art. Traditional art is more comfy for me and I've been trying new digital programs, but haven't fallen in love with anything (i.e. I've been a vector artist for 10 years and moving from my safe space to different programs and styles is... painful).

I think I'm ready to start pushing my comfort zone, but be forgiving of my digital style because I'm playing around with new tools and this is a big jump for me, ha ha. I think I'm going to do some silly, low-stress fanfic doodles with very little attempt to make them look good, just testing stuff out.

I miiiiiight have a few PMV / animatic ideas, so we'll see

By nature of me posting art for my own 'fics, spoilers be upon ye if you're not up to date with my writing. Relatively recent stuff and/or stuff I consider "big" will get the #ridspoilers tag, but stuff I wrote 6+ months ago is less likely to get the tag, so that's how that goes.

-> #Dog's Life spoilers will get a unique tag because the weekly updates and drama make me say "Yeah, a special tag makes sense," so if that's a 'fic you think you want to read someday without spoilers, consider blocking that sooner rather than later :)

-> I'm also adding a #Pixels Imperfect tag to stuff from that universe (and I'll go back and add it to the chapters I already posted). "Pixels Imperfect" is the series name on AO3 for my digital gremlin Traffic SMP content (Everyone can freely wander around New Star Station outside the game and just puts on their roleplay hats when they go in, everything under this series fits under one umbrella of universe canon, etc.)

-> #Neighborhood Watch is the series name for "we take the roleplay lore seriously, this is their life, no digital world and no roleplay hat to take off" Traffic SMP content. I haven't posted anything for it yet, but I've got stuff in the works (I'm playing with a couple "making every season as canon as possible in one storyline" pieces and </3 it's big divorce speedrun hours for Clocker fam rn)

As for the other 'fics, I've been posting stuff like Origin, the 130, and Knots for 7 years and I feel okay about how that's going- I don't normally get spoiler Asks, but my general rule is to wait 1-2 weeks before I say anything spoilery on my blog. I think that's been working fine and we've got a good system, so I'm not changing anything there.

Lastly - and this is also part of the reason Factor is going on hiatus - it sounds like Traffic SMP Season 5 is just around the corner. For my followers who don't know much about this Minecraft deathmatch series, the creators only play for a few weeks - I think the shortest season was 6 weeks and the longest was 8 - and each creator puts out one episode a week (usually Friday).

So, it's a pretty short chunk of time and I don't want to be juggling too many things while it's coming out. I think this year I want to jump in and create some nice content while it's ongoing instead of just doodling off to the side and keeping it to myself... I need to dig up my old liveblog doodles I never shared, hm.

-> The traffic story canon gets reset every season (i.e. it's unscripted play, there's no continuous plot, and each season starts relationships from scratch), so if you've been enjoying any of my Traffic SMP reblogs, consider looking into it and riding that wave while episodes come out for a couple weeks and we can be hype together <3

-> Stuff for that season will be tagged #traffic spoilers, which is the tag I use across all the seasons, and I'll make a new post with my Season 5 spoiler tag once we get the name reveal.

-> As is traditional when I liveblog, I'll also use the tag #Riddle watches Traffic so you can block that too if you like. Just wanted to let people know in case I have any Traffic SMP followers who want to go in blind and don't want to risk seeing my posts before they have time to block my spoilers tag. #traffic spoilers still covers everything, including new season.

-> I also need to look into maybe switching from Traffic Life SMP as my blog tag to Traffic SMP because I think that's. the right name and it would probably be smart to tag properly... hm.

I think that covers everything I wanted to say. I'll add a list or link to my pinned post as well so people can figure out what to block for spoilers and stuff.

Thanks for enjoying my blog!

[fratboykate]

I’m kinda curious, how did you got so involve with industry. I know you’ve mentioned once or twice you work in the industry but I’ve heard it’s so hard to get your foot through the door.

It's never been easy but now it's damn near impossible to break in unless you're connected somehow. I was one of the last people to sneak in and start climbing up the ladder 11-12 years ago. Now I write and direct films and TV for studios, streamers, and broadcast. Even to get a PA job on a big set you have to know seven people and one of them has to be your aunt or dad 😮‍💨

There's truly a hiring crisis for writers right now which is part of the reason you'll most likely see us striking in the coming months. I don't know if you guys remember the huge writer's strike of 2007-2008 where the industry came to a halt for a year and a ton of shows got cancelled because of it but you guys should brace because unless something major shifts in the studios (it won't) in the next...idk...2-3 months another general writer's strike is happening come May (I think that's when our contract expires) and writers are ready to tell the studios to go to hell because they're FUCKING us in every way you can imagine. And you nearly avoided a crew strike by a hair over the pandemic but IATSE contracts are up again I think next year and they're probably going to strike for real this time when it's up. The DGA (Director's union) might strike when their contract is up too. So...you guys have had it good but get ready for a few years of mayhem because we're fed up with the people who reap billions in profit paying the people who actually make their content peanuts for 18 hour work days and six day work weeks. We're abused and exploited in endless ways. That has to end.

The industry is in shambles and the hope is that we're going to try and reform it in real meaningful ways over the next couple years. But IATSE did try during the pandemic and their union leaders sold them out so...we'll see how it goes with this looming writer's strike. I'm just saying, if you guys have to wait 2-3 years for new seasons of shows because we go on strike this spring don't come for t writers. We're just fighting for our livelihoods. Get mad at the billion dollar studios who refuse to be fair.

[simplefelicity]

september 2024 bookkeeping - the first half

i've moved abroad! i'll be here for a few months and my finances are in absolute shambles so i've decided to make this a bi-weekly occasion. or maybe even weekly, we'll see.

what i spent

in total i've spent: 292.34€. for two weeks not that bad, about 150€ a week is an ok budget i think now that i live alone and am trying to organize my life. i would still like to bring it down to 100€ so let's see where i can improve.

food: 61.38€ (eating out) + 45.62€

here eating out is relatively cheap (it comes to about 5€ per meal) and groceries are expensive, as you can see.

i ate out 11 times in two weeks (+ 3 cafes). mostly because we were out and about visiting places and had to eat there but there were a couple of times that i could have avoided, like going to cafes/bubble tea. it happened 3 times, so for maybe a total of 10€ but i've discovered that i don't even like bubble tea here so i should just not go there anymore.

i've spent a lot on groceries in one go but it should last me a long enough time (lots of prepackaged meals).

object purchases: 171.53€

all of this stuff was unavoidable (even if it doesn't feel like it seeing it totaled up). there were 2 souvenirs, which i could have avoided but like... i'm here. i will get a couple of souvenirs i also refrained from buying a third one, so i'm at least proud of that.

in any case, these are all one time purchases and i won't need to worry about getting these objects for a long time.

i could have gotten some of this stuff tax free but i had forgotten my passport. so next time i should remember to bring my passport.

actually, one thing i do regret is that i tried to take my id photo at a photoboot because it was less expensive, but they rejected it and i'll have to go to a professional studio next week anyway. yikes.

experiences: 45.92€

i paid for a traditional craft class, a ticket to a monument and a one day tour that will happen in october. so far, no regrets.

what i earned

my last salary for a while. it was a bit higher than expected so i'm happy about that :)

what i decluttered

not much to declutter in a new house. but i have been taking a lot of pictures so i'm at 9.835, +255. i need to take the time to sort through them and delete delete delete.

next week plans:

i have booked the professional photo id, which will come to about 20€ (ugh). i'm also going to a baseball game but i'm still not sure how much that will cost. and we have planned a one day trip for tomorrow. and i'm going out in one hour and will probably have lunch and dinner out (but it should be street food so less expensive so maybe 8€?).

i will also need to charge my transportation card, which is going to be a monthly expense (42€ but i will get a discount later on).

what i want to do is 1. not get any bubble tea but rather get some water if i'm feeling too warm. 2, pick the least expensive option at the cafeteria i need to go to when i'm on campus. 3, not go out just for the sake of going out even if we are visiting places i've already been to. i should stay at home and eat my groceries.

hopefully i'll be able to stay in the 100€ per week budget!

oh wait, i wanted to start working out again so probably not :( but i love my sport so it will be worth it!

[the-firebird69]

There are a few things going on that we're going to mention.

- This cloud of uranium gas. came up to Punta Gorda and sat here for an hour. at about 1.7 rad and most people were exposed. our son probably one rad. the whole time. Now that's a pretty good exposure for. an hour and then would go in to our son about three eighths to half an inch. everywhere.. So some bone would be a would be affected. and other areas of his body. that we're not getting touched. And you guys are getting exposed a lot and are not taking precautions. and you're not sending warnings here. They're all over the world sending warnings. of dust clouds. And people are testing and confirming. And here you're not doing anything. And you're getting sick. So wondering why that was and we heard people saying we'll just heal it and fix it in the morning and that kind of stuff. And we're finding out that you're a bunch of losers. Most of you think you can heal it? Yes. Most of you will not be able to. And son is now probably down to about 7 months. and on the interior. Two and three quarter of a year. And it will be falling. throughout the week This will keep happening. from different sources. The small circles will be gone. and probably two days.

- We do understand you want our son to be sick, and you think he will be and you're banking on it, and you. think you can get better and think. you're fooling him. Well, you're not. And we see how bad it is. Most of you are mental patients. and don't understand what a real mutant is in your idiots. So we're going to. go ahead and pick up people who are dying because you sound horrendous because your brain is deteriorating. You're becoming zombies. A lot of you were doing a test but we have an estimate of 35% of Charlotte County will be dead by morning.. That was just a steam cloud from a small circle. What happens? if a big dust cloud comes from a nuclear weapon. Yeah, that's right. You're not going to be here.

- The Southern Temple, FL is embroiled. It's the southern tip in a war. over those stashes and caches. and they are firing near them. and it will not help the situation. They're not making a trough or anything with their firing near it. and the holes are pretty deep They're about 5 feet deep. We are noticing that they're causing tremors. This is causing the infiltration of salt water more in. to the walls of. the quarter mile circles. There are five down there Some are bigger. That will actually push it forwards We thought that it might breach. the large ones in three days. Now we think two days. So maybe a Saturday night. also

also-

- We have news that your health is not wanted on any. project that we're trying to start. and that was from the Mac proper and The pseudo empire. and they're trying to instruct you to cease and desist. all these special projects. and you say no

- Couple more things in cities are under siege and. that's the separate just cities. There's a huge force at each of them. in some of the cities they are encroaching on the borders. and will probably soon come in. In the Eas In the Eastern Hemisphere, five cities out of. the 20 very large have collapsed. They are in ruins and tatters, and nobody really lives there They've been abandoned.. Five more will fall in the next two days. Roughly and we expect the remaining 10 to fall within a week and a half of now. And they're doing very badly. and they stopped calling people. Yes. the people in there. The people in these cities decided to sit and fight. and not to deplete their forces. The way we say it is, they're really not on the up and up. and found something that the Max found in the city. on it and they don't care for us going there. And one of them said that. it was Woody. There's others here who heard it and they get it. So we're going to print.

Thor Freya

I can actually change mine over I have one of those Bradley GT. I'd rather change the Bradley GT 2. and he says why not make new molds off? of it? and I can change the mold. while I'm using the new one. So I'm trying to do that. And what you're saying is I can make the mold from the panel then. make a panel and then make the changes and make a new mold. So I'm gonna try and do that. It's kinda hard doing it the other way. It's a good idea. Then I can leave the car the way it is. You have to take it off there. There's a lot of work. It shouldn't be that hard, he says. That's true. So I'm gonna start working on it right now It's a joy in my life, and I'm gonna have fun.

Hera He says it might even be my car So I said, what are you talking about? I'm working on mine. Like, I do see what you're saying.

[whereare-myglasses]

⚠️CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSION OF SUICIDE AND SEXUAL ASSUALT⚠️

I'm posting this on here because I'm honestly not to sure where else I can talk about it without someone I know irl seeing this.

I recently graduated from a trade program called Job Corps. Basically, you're provided food, clothes, housing, and basic medical care and in return you learn a trade of your choosing. It's made out to be a wonderful opportunity and experience should you choose to do the program. While in some cases it can be, many folks don't have that great experience we're told we'll have.

It's been a few weeks since I graduated amd returned home and I've noticed things that have changed about myself since starting at the program.

1. I can't eat as much as I used to. My center rarely served anything actually edible at meals and when they did, you weren't given quite enough because they needed enough food for everyone to have at least one serving. If they served something at lunch that people barely got, they served it again at dinner to get rid of it. So it wasn't uncommon for us to wait until we're completely done with trade for the day before eating an adequate meal (which we would have to buy ourselves when we visited the nearest Walmart once every 2 weeks. It was a 2 hour round trip and 80% of the center would go. So you had limited space for what you buy). I lost almost 20 pounds in my first 2 months there and I'm STILL not back at the weight I was before starting.

2. I can't trust anyone to do anything they're supposed to. We had COUNTLESS maintenance problems at my center that would go ignored for MONTHS at a time solely because the maintenance crew did not want to do their jobs. In late January of this year, we had a snow and ice storm that had trade canceled for almost 2 weeks. Before and during that time, none of the buildings on my center had ANY heating during the single digit weather. The first couple days, we didn't mind. We spent all day outside playing in the snow anyway. But the temperatures kept dropping both inside and outside and nothing was really being done. We had one or two space heaters per dorm (6 dorms averaging 20-30 people each) that we just had to huddle around during the day. Also in that time, my dorm had an industrial sink that we couldn't use (even though it was required for our daily chores) because a pipe had rusted off completely. We had been putting in maintenance request forms since SEPTEMBER about the leaking sink (keep in mind, this is late January still) and maintenance claimed they didn't even KNOW about it until I personally dragged one of them to look at it while they were working on our heat. At some point, we bypassed the staff request forms altogether and wrote out 2 lists (one staff copy and one student copy) of everything in our dorm that was broken that maintenance needed to fix and made the head of maintenance sign and date both lists so that we all knew they saw what was needed.

3. I no longer feel like I can speak to a person of authority with trust, or at all. There's a HUGE problem with communication across ALL job corps centers in the nation. At my center, we struggled daily to get any information from staff on just about everything. Staff could barely even communicate with each other, but expected us to constantly be on top of things when there we times we didn't even know what we were supposed to be on top of. Rules would change and half the time, you didn't know of a rule change until you or someone you knew got in trouble for breaking said rule. It wasn't uncommon for staff to ask students where a certain staff member was, only for the students to not even realize that staff member was supposed to be in the area. Even without the problem of staff not communicating, there was still the problem of staff not caring. There was a student that started in late November while I was there (I was his fucking mentor) who sexually assaulted about 4 or 5 other male students. There were COUNTLESS written statements (from students) about him bullying others and at least one of his SA victims tried to address it with staff directly, but nothing was done until it was almost too late. Saturday morning in late February, one of his SA victims expressed thoughts of suicide because of what he had gone through. Staff didn't reach out to the student to intervene until Sunday evening when the student tried to take is own life. The next day, staff held an optional meeting with students to express our concerns about the situation and every single time we tried to say something, we were shot down. The meeting ended abruptly when all of the students who attended stormed out and me saying, "All this situation and thus meeting has taught us is that we can't trust staff enough to come forward about anything." I was mentoring again that week and I remember taking some of my new kids in my arms and holding them while they cried because of the situation.

4. I don't really feel like an actual person anymore, just another number. As with all things government, the bottom line always comes first. Staff were overworked and underpaid, buildings were rundown, opportunities to go off center were dwindling down to just going to Walmart once every 2 weeks (my center was around 120ish students and located inside of a national park, it was at least an hour drive to go anywhere), but the center director still did everything possible to fill every single bed to get money that wouldn't even go toward the students. The center director was always saying how she cared about the students but always stonewalled attempts to make things better for us. Job Corps held a national essay contest for its 60th anniversary and I did it cause why not? No harm done if I don't win. Well, I did win. I got first place in my region and was one of the 6 winners across the 100+ centers in the country. I read my essay in an online National office meeting and felt like I was put on a pedestal by my center director. Which I found out I really was being put on a pedestal, as I was the very first person in the 40 something years my center has been open and active to win an award like this. My name and center was put on a flyers for every job corps center to see along with the other 5 winners. And while I am proud of myself for my achievement, I can't help but feel like it wasn't really worth it for me. It just seemed like my win was only to make my center look better.

There's other shit but I'm tired, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Since starting at jobcorps, I'm angrier, I'm sadder, I'm less trusting and more judgemental, and I'm scared to do what they've trained me for and enter the workforce because what if it's just like my experience there?

[kicksomebuttmama]

75 Hard (okay, more like medium-well)

So, I'm freshly postpartum (nine months is still fresh, right?), and I've just ordered a bunch of clothes that fit my right-now body because I've given up on the idea of losing weight before I go back to work as a teacher in the fall. I'm breastfeeding six or so times a day, can't imagine putting on anything but a lounge bra at this point, and know for a fact I won't be counting calories anytime soon, if ever again. We're down to one feeding per night, but there's still no such thing as a stretch of sleep longer than six hours (and those are real hard to come by). I dropped my scale off at a thrift store when we moved into a new apartment a few weeks ago, for goodness sake. All of this to say, I went to bed last night fully intending to embrace my body as it is, enjoy my new clothes, go for stroller walks with my little one, and focus on getting unpacked in this new place.

...then I found growwithjo on YouTube this morning and had so much freaking fun doing her Do This Every Morning 20 min (low impact) full-body workout that I am JUICED. Y'all, I'm jumping straight into 75 Hard. Screw all my plans to settle into discomfort and continue to feel meh about my body. I'm starting today. 75 days from now is July 31. That means we're having a... Hot Mama Summah. Here we go!

A couple things about me, I've dealt with disordered eating, obsessive calorie counting, and major shame about food in the past. One incredible thing that came with getting pregnant last year (actually it was 2022, which is insane!) was an almost immediate shift in my mindset about food and my ability to enjoy food without guilt. As soon as I knew I was eating for two, a switch flipped and those 32 years of food shame just went away. Knowing that my body, the body I've lived in and, at some points, truly despised, my whole life, was creating a little human?? Dang, that changed me. I'll dive deeper into that another time, but I'm including it here to explain that I won't be counting calories during this adventure. I'm nine months into breastfeeding and know my body needs extra calories to feed my girl, so I'm going to continue to eat until I'm full and enjoy my sweet treats. I also won't be weighing myself due to the aforementioned thrift store drop off as well as an obsession with numbers and addiction to weighing myself before and after every workout when I'm deep in weight loss mode. I will share that the last time I checked, I hadn't lost any weight since an initial ten pounds the day my baby was born in August 2023, and at that point I was at 235. I'm 5'2.5" and carry my weight in my chest and belly right now. Perhaps I'll have a doctor's appointment in a couple months and be able to give an update using their scale. We'll see!

Let's dive into 75 Hard. If you've been around the internet in the last few years, you might have heard of this mental discipline challenge created by Andy Frisella. For 75 days, you must: drink a gallon of water, do two 45-minute workouts (one must be outside), follow a diet plan of your choosing with no cheat days, don't consume alcohol, read 10 pages of a self help or educational book, and take a daily progress picture. As I've made clear, I have a nine-month-old, so I'm not going to do every element, but I'm not quite doing a "soft" version, in my opinion.

Mama Cat's 75 Medium-Well Plan:

Eat 2 fruits and 2 veggies

Drink a gallon of water

Do a 20-minute workout and at least 45 minutes of walking (can be split into multiple walks based on what baby will tolerate)

No alcohol

Take a daily progress pic

As you can see, I'm skipping the reading and shortening one workout to 20 minutes. I am a big reader, but it isn't something I've gravitated toward for relaxation in motherhood, and I honestly don't want to use up what little time I have during naps to read when I could be completing all my NYT word puzzles (and updating this blog)!I'll make another post later wrapping up Day One with a list of what I ate and how I moved my body. I'll try to update daily but might do a few days' worth of posts at a time if taking time to write it all out gets tough. So far, I've already done my workout video, 45-minute walk, eaten two fruits, and enjoyed an hour of snuggles while baby girl contact napped. I've also nursed three times, and I'll never stop feeling proud and impressed by that, so I'm going to celebrate it daily! I have a lot to say about my breastfeeding journey and look forward to making a post about it eventually.

Wish me luck. Let's hope this motivation high lasts and I don't give it all up tomorrow!