#A logical reason to be critical not emotional

[unhinged-waterlilly]

Hello!

Something about @/demigod-jack-hearth

Something I wanna say about this post (with my reblog on it). I wanna give a side of a story. Mine to be exact.

They were one of the first people I talked to outside of rp. They were a close friend. But that fades.

I DONT WANT THEM TAGGED IN THIS I DONT WANT THEM TO KNOW ABOUT THIS. I HAVE THEM BLOCKED. IF THEY LEARN ABOUT THIS, IT IS BECAUSE SOMEONE SEND THIS TO THEM.

Tw: sa, strong language, I'm a little bitch, please please please read at your own risk

When start this by saying Jack worries me. I've seen so many post, rp or otherwise, where they bring up extremely triggering comments...just randomly. This has happened to me too. I don't get bothered by them I've been lucky enough to not deal with most and be comfortable with what I have dealt with. I think he needs professional help. Or to talk to someone that is an adult. This is difficult for some people. But there are free therapy websites out there. I have seen them. I have participated in them. The people on the other line aren't professionals but they are people willing to listen. And adults.

It started with when I saw an rp they had with camp Sky. I can't give screenshots of that but I do have some of confronting them.

Now all good right? Yeah! I thought so too. Untill an anon confronts em.

Posts here and here

Oh...kay? What's wrong about this?

Yeah...

Actively calling out anon

Now mind me I thought they had buried this au deep deep into the ground. Wasn't until I opened Circe's blog that I realised they didn't. I was pissed. I had every reason to be. We have so few stories of male victims as it is and this 'au' was blatantly disrespectful to victims of all genders. I felt really fucking disrespected that's for sure.

Unfortunately I don't confront them. But I do vent.

Now I feel bad for this. Maybe this was dirty laundry I shouldn't have aired out. But I was just so angry I couldn't think properly. I didn't mention Jack in this post, but friends figured it out. I won't say who these friends are for obvious reasons. Also, this is a bit wrong. They thought Odysseus cheated with only Circe, and Calyspo was SA. I got that wrong, and I admit it. I only remembered that when I scrolled up our dm to take a screenshot of it.

Now I wanted to leave that convo because I wasn't in the mood for arguing, and I've learned to give people what they want, which makes em and yourself stop. My fault again.

Things happen. It leads to the apology. Now, obviously, I can't tell if an apology is genuine through a screen, and I am most certainly a pessimist. So, like, I don't think it is. Also, I'm almost certain that most was written by whoever the friend was who 'helped' em.

Sure, people can change, but not enough times do they actually. Just look on the Internet. And real life. A person like Jack, well, they've talked to me enough to know it is most likely not the case. If they were so angry at a piece of good criticism, then I don't have much hope.

Am I an angry person ? Yes. Do I think I have the right to be? Yes. Am I also a logical person? I believe so. The people I've asked think so, too. I don't dislike something for no reason. But I do dislike things. What I do like is reasons for my dislikes. With me so far?

Good. Moving on.

After the apology and after I finally got my thoughts in order, I sent them a message because they tagged me. A lot.

This is what I sent. It's emotional, but in my opinion, it also makes sense. I was mad they lied to me. I was mad they twisted the story so. Fucking. Much. Odysseus isn't a rapist and Circe isn't an innocent flower. That is not what an AU is. What was their reaction to this? Nothing. To me at least.

A mutual friend told me they sent the last half of my messages and told them that they were angry I. Didn't. Thank. Them. For. The. Apology. Take that for what you will.

Now they made another post replying to the first anon who criticized them. I've read it. And when I tell you it is so fulled with self-pity-

I haven't collected my thoughts properly about this so this is bad and more emotion than the above. but this is the basic things behind it.

1) never directly addressing what he did and constantly tell em to read the apology. Don't wanna repeat yourself. How much time is it gonna take out of your day exactly?

2) not acknowledging the fact the male sa victim. At all. They don't say anything about it. No 'my condolences'. No 'I'm so sorry that happened to you' . Not acknowledging how terrible of a thing that is. At all.

3)says they aren't gonna defend themself... and defend themselves

4) have yet to tell us who these people are. Which is just bad cuz there are people out there who are okay with this. If they were IRL friends just say that.

5) it felt just fucking dull

Maybe this isn't right. Maybe you disagree with these points. But do not tell me you disagree with the rest.

I wanna end this by saying I am victim of SA. Did I tell him this? No. Maybe I should've. I don't feel comfortable sharing it. Because remembring fucking hurts. Remembering means crying and opening the lights and either sitting or laying down on my back because I can still. Fucking. Feel. It. And I was nine.

I don't want your pity on this. I don't want you to say sorry. The people you should be saying sorry to are the people who are not believed when this happens. Feel sorry for the people who cannot report this stuff because they don't trust the people who are supposed to protect them. Feel sorry for the people who think it was their fault and they actually wanted it when they didn't. 63% of rape are not reported in females. Only 12% of child rapes are reported.

I can't find a clear fucking statistics on males.

Do you know how difficult it is for males to have any representation at all? How many male victims do you see online? Even Odysseus being regonized as one is recent. Fucking. Stop. This is more than a made up story. It means the world to some people. So this actually happen. It might mean everything. This was taken away from them from so many retellings. And a stupid fucking au.

If you want to talk about SA, wanna make a character out of it, learn about it first.

So I'm not going to forgive and I am definitely not going to forget. You can. If you want. I don't care if you do. But I ask you not to forget. Please.

I am tagging Jack's taglist

@zariahthewitch @thegroovydaughterofhestia @if-chaos-was-a-boy @the-gods-strange-children @silena-daughterofaphrodite @fabulousdaughterofhecate @weakest-son-of-sun @chaos-pers0nified @neoptolemus-achilles-son @bast-the-best26 @goddess-of-bubblegum @hispanic-child-of-hermes @gaygirldoodles @luck-is-crucial @reyna4ever @vicious-daughter-of-zeus @feral-hermes-child @oopsies-i-did-a-thing @unfortunate-daughter-of-hestia @that-girl-cupid @ariathemortal @love-lightning-forethought @emdabitchass @kaiaalwayswins @champion-of-revenge @zoe-aura-of-d3ath @itsyourboyezra @lunar-eklipso-r @pink-koi-lovejoy @that-daughter-of-athena @sleepy-as-a-song @smileyalater @gellyhelio @daughter-ofthe-moontitan @demeters-daughter-is-done @the-smart-and-the-dumb-one @trinket-snatcher @creature-under-ur-bed @burnt-out-bitxhes @cloak-of-ares @heraaaaaaaa @unproblematic-hestia @i-was-never-sane

[lemonemenom]

Definitely annoyed at how illogical this position is to dress Jim’s wounds

not cause Jim’s an idiot who keeps getting injured that would be illogical

[delawaredetroit]

Exhibit A of how Aizawa's decision to pair Izuku and Bakugou was only intended for Bakugou's growth. There is no mention or concern about how Bakugou's presence stunts Izuku's growth as well. He was only concerned about Bakugou's personal stagnation.

The dadzawa characterization seems to have poisoned a lot of the fandom to Aizawa's actual earlier characterization. At least early on, Aizawa primarily treats Izuku as a burden, a strawman to tear down about All Might's brand of heroics, or as an obstacle to Bakugou's character development.

[courtingwonder]

How to challenge cognitive distortions

[blk-chauvinist]

So-called "Emotional Intelligence" Isan overrated concept. We all know how emotions lie to us, conning us into believing that what we like/want is what's best for us....which isn't so. We also know how emotions can be manipulated by those adept at doing so (cult leaders, con-artists, players, etc.). Its a baseless pseudo-science that is the equivalent of reading tea leaves (OK, maybe not to THAT level, but close). Consider this: Take any two people, one emotional, one logical. Drop them off in any inhospitable environment, jungle, desert, warzone, or ghetto. In almost every case, the logical person will be most likely to survive, while the emotional one will fail. Logic & critical reasoning helps us survive and understand the world around us...even down to nuance. Feelings serve to help us interact with others. But THEY are wrong more often than reason-centered approaches.

[hopeastrz]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐆𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐏 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔🦢💅🏻

𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐒 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐂𝐊 𝐌𝐘 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐃 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄!.

If you want to know more about what your friends may gossip about you check your ascendant, (the 11th house rules over friends, and the 3rd house rules over gossip, counting 2 houses from the 11th house since we used it as our rising it will fall directly on the ascendant).

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐇 𝐆𝐎𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝟐,𝟓𝐤 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒, 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐢 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞!, 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐧!, 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲, 𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢’𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲.

𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒/𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 (𝟏,𝟏𝟑,𝟐𝟓) 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓: They may believe that you are quite rebellious, bold, very confident, outgoing and active, you may also be sporty, energetic, masculine (even if you’re a woman) hotheaded and maybe you have a foul mouth!, sorry not sorry, but they feel like you cuss a-lot and give no care to anything other than yourself, they may feel that your a bit selfish, aggressive/impulsive or immature sometimes, but at the same time you are a go getter, and you may be the reason your friend group is always winning!.

𝐓𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐔𝐒/𝐓𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐔𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 (𝟐,𝟏𝟒,𝟐𝟔) 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓: You may be known to have a charming voice, they may say something about the way you sing or talk (positive or negative depends on the aspects), your food or your taste in general, your wealth and financial status, they say that you have strong values and morals, you are quite pretty and dependable, also very chill and relaxed maybe even lazy, patient, possessive and stubborn!.

𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈/𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 𝐃𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 (𝟑,𝟏𝟓,𝟐𝟕) 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓: You’re quite intelligent and playful, they may speak about the languages you learned or your school education, your car or transportation you take, even your neighborhood and the place you live in, the community you’re from, they may say that you are witty, playful, multi talented, very curious adaptable and strong minded, and comical, you have a very interesting sense of humor that not many understand also quite youthful and maybe maybe nosy💁🏻‍♀️.

𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑/𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 (𝟒,𝟏𝟔,𝟐𝟖) 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓: They may speak about your roots, home, your mother, your kids, your house, the goods you bake or food you make, they say that you are emotionally intelligent, you may be known for being quite feminine, sensitive and even being a crybaby who shows their emotions a-lot, you are quite cautious and sensitive to energies around you, your are known for being defensive and family oriented!.

𝐋𝐄𝐎/𝐋𝐄𝐎 𝐃𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 (𝟓,𝟏𝟕,𝟐𝟗) 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓: They may speak about your hair, your art and your confidence, they speak about your short term lovers, places you like to go to, and maybe even your fame!, you are gossiped about a-lot, but your are known for being loyal, very very creative, a bit dramatic and very prideful.

𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐆𝐎/𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐆𝐎 𝐃𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 (𝟔,𝟏𝟖) 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓: They gossip about your health, physique, mental health, your daily routine, the books you read, you’r writing, your pets!, you’re known for being a bit critical, (also their gossip is more about criticism) humble, overthinking, very perfectionist, analytical, logical and judgmental, also they may speak about your job.

𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐑𝐀/𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐑𝐀 𝐃𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 (𝟕,𝟏𝟗) 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓: They may say that you are very romantic, a lovesick person, very attractive too, they talk about your partners/spouse, your business, your fashion style, and your choice of clothes, they also may say that you’re a bit indecisive and can’t make a choice!.

𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎/𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎 𝐃𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 (𝟖,𝟐𝟎) 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓: They hardly find things to gossip about you, but be careful because most of those who gossip are your enemies in hiding because their gossip stems from jealousy and envy, so be carful and don’t share your secrets with just anyone you call a friend, they may use them against you and they can’t stay hidden for long, (having gemini on 8th house basically adds to this theory) your secrets may be used as a source of gossip, your sexual lifestyle, money, deaths in your family, but at the same time they may say that you are loyal, powerful, brave and have a very strong mindset, mysterious and seductive, very secretive, obsessive or controlling or manipulative!.

𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒/𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 (𝟗,𝟐𝟏) 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓: They say you are lucky!, they may speak about your religion, higher education, the family of your future spouse, the adventurous you make, even places where you travel, you are known for being very humorous, also knowledgeable/wise/philosophical, successful, wealthy and honest, the negative side is that they may say that you are a bit unreliable, arrogant, and honest/blunt/straightforward.

𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐍/𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 (𝟏𝟎,𝟐𝟐) 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓: Man they speak about you so openly, and their gossip may easily affect your reputation, but they respect you a lot at the same time, they speak about your job, the hardships you went through, your responsibilities, your father and your career in general, you are mature, and you have a very strong work ethic, just like the scorpio AC people may actually fear talking about you, they talk about your social status, your success, they also say you’re a bit detached, cold, hardworking, you have a one track mind!, a bit anxious but at the same time self disciplined.

𝐀𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒/𝐀𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 (𝟏𝟏,𝟐𝟑) 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓: now now now, this is a bit funny but your friends speak about the Friends you have!, they may speak about your wealth too, usually Aquarius AC tend to be care about their social media accounts very much so they may talk about you on social media, the type to screenshot your instagram stories for example and take them as gossip material (you may not relate to this if you have strong 4th,8th,12th house placements, or being a moon/pluto dominant since you'll be more private!.) they may say that you're very friendly, clever, weird, very independent and quite unique unpredictable, and rebellious.

𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒/𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 (𝟏𝟐,𝟐𝟒) 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓: You may want to read the first 2 lines from the scorpio AC one, now they may talk about your past, your spiritual side, and yes they gossip about your secrets, but you are known for being sensitive, idealistic/delusional, creative and inspiring, hypnotic, very charming and sensitive like a siren!.

𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑: 𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫/𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 + 𝐈’𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐭.

[creekfiend]

I wanted to make a bonsai kitten recovery post that outlines some of the stuff that I've been doing. Because I don't think that you need to ✨see a therapist✨ to start dealing with a lot of this stuff and I get really frustrated when that is the answer that everyone is constantly giving. Firstly a disclaimer, because I know what website I am on: this is a guide for things that have worked for me! I am not everyone and if there are things on here that do not work for you or even that you think are stupid, that is fine, but please do not make it my problem. If you are reading it and you're like "that sounds like it would actually be detrimental to my specific mental health because of my specific issues" then please disregard it. Use your critical thinking skills and do what you think is right for you!

My second disclaimer is that I didn't make any of this up myself; most of these are collected from various places either in therapeutic guide books or various websites about emotional regulation etc. Some of it is stuff that I have extrapolated from those places based on experience with what works for me or does not work for me. A lot of the way that I treat myself when I need to get my body and brain into a place where I can think about stuff productively is actually directly from gentle parenting guides, because frankly cptsd recovery stuff is very often like parenting a toddler. And the toddler is you. ALL THAT SAID,

The first skill that I had to get good at, that many of the other skills depend on, is to learn how to understand when I am Reacting to something. If I am Reacting it is extremely likely that that's going to only escalate the situation and make it much worse. I HAVE to be able to tell if I am Reacting emotionally to something in a way that is coming from a place of fear and panic. This is important because it involves not being prescriptive about your emotions. You could be Reacting to something that you do not logically feel is at all justified in making you feel that way and that doesn't matter! You can't be doing math equations to try to come to the answer of how you SHOULD be feeling; you have to be observing your mind and body to see how you factually ARE feeling and then respond to THAT. This can be really hard to learn how to do especially if you were abused as a child. (If you cannot think of yourself as someone who is abused as a child perhaps it would help to think of yourself as someone who simply was not taught various emotional regulation skills for mysterious reasons that have nothing to do with your parents' inadequacies.) I need to be able to glance inward and see what the physiological reaction that I'm having is and identify whether or not I feel like this is the biggest emergency in the world that needs to be addressed right now immediately! That is a sure sign that Mr Fight and Mr Flight are in the building and it is bad to make declarative statements or important decisions when that is the case. So, I have to work on dismissing them first. That is literally the first step to any of this. One of my friends calls this "fire mittens," which is to say, if you are wearing mittens that are on fire and you try to touch stuff, the stuff will also become on fire. You have to put the fire out first before you can touch other things.

Once I have determined that I am indeed Reacting and in a physiological state of fear, I have a document in my notes app that is a "what to do when you are in fight or flight mode" guide and it has several helpful things that I will try to outline here.

Firstly, the really important thing for me for trying to get back into an emotional state where I'm capable of making decisions and being thoughtful is to feel safe and comfortable. So I actually have some stuff in my document that is straight up just like "go in the blankie nest. put on this specific music album. light this specific scented candle." etc. You might want to have a specific food or drink that is comforting to you or some other sort of stim toy that helps you regulate. If there's any calming medication or supplements for anxiety that you take as needed, now is also the time to do that. Physical sensory grounding is really important for this. This is probably especially true if, like me, you are neurodivergent, but I think it is also true for everyone because we are animals! And you can't just think about it, you have to actually do it. Which sounds obvious but is the thing that has often tripped me up in the past. Once you start getting into the habit of actually physically doing this it DOES become easier though.

One of my rules is that if I want to respond to something but I am in fight or flight mode, I don't get to respond to it for at least 24 hours. I'm only allowed to respond once I've gotten myself out of fear mode. If it is some kind of comment on Facebook that has set me off, often this means that 24 hours later I realize that I actually don't want to get into it to begin with, which is great. If it's something that is pretty serious and interpersonal with a friend, sometimes that means I have to communicate to them that I'm going to take a while to process it and then get back to them. IMPORTANT: You CANNOT do this passive aggressively or else it undermines the whole thing. You can't phrase it in a way that will make your friends think that you are guilt tripping them for "making" you feel a way. It is VERY tempting to do this when you are in the first stages of trying to form this habit and you simply need to resist the urge because it will render this step worthless. I know. It sucks.

If I am feeling fearful and insecure about friends or loved ones, I also usually try to spend some time thinking about the people that I love and care about. Because often this stuff manifest for me as insecurity that the people that I care about do not care about me, or that they think that I'm being annoying, or that they are secretly thinking mean things about me. It's obviously not good for me to constantly be imagining that the people in my life who I care about are actually avatars of my own insecurity who are here to tell me that I'm secretly fundamentally unlovable! But crucially also it's ALSO not fair to those people to imagine them as that. They are not that guy, they are their own complex human beings with their own lives and experiences and interiority. So sometimes I do thought exercises where I will imagine my friends or loved ones doing things in their everyday lives and I will think about them as people and I will think about the things that they like to do and the things that they say and the places that they go, and I will try to imagine them fondly in those circumstances. This helps to remind me that they are just people and that the scary puppet wearing their faces is not real. To this end I sometimes will have a document of screenshots of things that they have said to me that I can use to reality check myself. I personally find reality checks to be essential for a lot of this. Things can feel true when they are not true at all. Things can feel wrong when they are actually true. The point of most of these exercises is to gently remind myself that those feelings are normal for me to be having, but that I do not need to let them dictate my responses.

It is crucial throughout all of this that you are nice to yourself. You can't talk to yourself in a mean way while you're doing this, or you will not get to a point where you are feeling safe enough to react from a place of not-fear. You can't make yourself feel ashamed or defensive for your emotional reactions. This is the particular area where I find gentle parenting protocols helpful. You HAVE to be patient with yourself.

Ok that's all for now bc I ran out of steam but I will try to think of more to add on another day maybe. Godspeed everyone

[thewatcher727]

Writing Tip - Portraying Characters Out Of Character

More writing tips

One of the most common criticisms in writing is when an established character is portrayed in a way that seems inconsistent with their usual traits or undergoes a sudden change in personality. The question is, is it wrong to want to write an established character in a different way?

My answer is that it’s fine if there is a plausible reason for it. For example, if John, who was previously a badass military guy, suddenly becomes a soft, joking character in a sequel, it’s going to make people wonder why his personality did a 180. The key to making a different portrayal plausible is through story and context. To explain this, I will use the video game Batman: Arkham Origins as an example.

We were first introduced to Arkham Batman in Batman: Arkham Asylum, which takes place during Bruce Wayne’s 11th year as Batman. In that game, Batman is portrayed as an experienced, highly skilled vigilante who is in complete control of his emotions. He never acts out when a situation goes wrong; instead, he calculates and plans his next move. Even though we see a few instances where he still carries the trauma of his childhood, his willpower is shown to be incredible. There are even rare moments when he makes jokes with Oracle. All in all, you get the sense this is a guy who knows what he’s doing.

Now let’s cut to Batman: Arkham Origins. This game is a prequel that takes place during Bruce’s second year as Batman. In this game, his personality is quite different, out of character so to speak. He is younger, angrier, and inexperienced. The game does an excellent job portraying how flawed Batman is through the small details. His fighting style is more raw and less polished compared to his later years. His suit looks bulkier and more thrown together rather than a single, cohesive design. We see him make mistakes when dealing with criminals. For example, in one cutscene, Batman is interrogating a guy named Loose Lips. As he holds Loose Lips up by the throat with one hand, he adjusts his footing and then chokes Loose Lips too hard, knocking him out. Batman acknowledges this by muttering, “Damn.” He is also very arrogant, underestimating the assassins that are out to get him and frequently telling Alfred he doesn’t need allies, determined to be a one-man army.

So, why do I consider this different portrayal good? The reason is that it fits the story they are trying to tell. Given the significant time gap between Origins and Asylum, it stands to reason that Batman would undergo some personality changes. The game provides an opportunity to show how Batman evolved from a young, reckless individual to the seasoned warrior we know later.

One of the best scenes is when, after nearly losing Alfred to Bane, Batman begins to doubt himself and considers giving up. Alfred, who finally understands why Bruce does what he does as Batman, encourages him to continue and let allies help him. Near the end, we see him working with James Gordon, hinting at how their relationship began to improve by the time of Asylum. We also see Batman working with Barbara to destroy Penguin’s weapons. This not only adds depth to Batman’s character, showing his capacity for growth and change, but it also sets up his future collaborations with characters like Oracle, Robin, and Nightwing. This development makes his later, more balanced and cooperative approach in Asylum and subsequent games feel earned and believable.

All in all, portraying a character out of character can be compelling if it aligns with the story and provides a logical progression. Batman’s arc in Arkham Origins shows he was flawed and needed to accept that he was not alone in his mission. Proper context and development are crucial in making these changes believable.

So, if you’re considering writing someone in a different way, keep this in mind and you’ll be good to go!

[pyreo]

handful more dunmeshi thoughts:

I like how their ability to cook is cumulative. they still have stock or leftovers from previous episodes making each meal more varied or better balanced, it honestly feels super enriching having solid evidence that their situation improves the more they experiment.

I like that the main party are immedaitely shown to be veterans of exploring this dungeon, and were fully expecting to comfortably handle the final boss. They're familiar with the layout and overall logic of the place, and how to co-exist as a diverse group.

I like that it's not horny. I mean yeah there's the dwarven upskirts but that just feels like realism. I know there's some kind of yuri bathroom thing but we've been told since episode one that is based on deep-seated emotions. what I mean is nobody is drawn sexily, nobody is getting gratuitous fanservice for no reason, nobody is lusting over other characters. there were even sirens and the opportunity was not taken to draw them like sexy temptresses. All things considered, they are in a work environment. I enjoy this, everybody has more important things to do.

It's based on dungeons and dragons/roguelikes/RPGs obviously, but in a loose method that doesn't get hung up on itself. Also the problems they solve are always realistic/a matter of pragmatism or efficiency rather than having to be more powerful than something else. solutions are based on critical thinking (good example - making a flail out of a vial of holy water because ghosts pass through the glass and get smacked by the water)

An extention of that, it's fun how much logistics and realism form the basis of their problems. Nothing is handwaved. The central dilemma is staying fed and that is a challenge. They can't cross a hall of water in a boat, because two of them wear heavy armour, and would sink. They do not even leave sightlines of each other without informing someone else where they're going, so the alarm will be raised if they don't come back. They're all capable in their own ways and this directly leads to solutions requiring group effort.

also look at these marcilles

[star-trek-dumb-comics]

I guess I forgot to post this but - last year I made a bunch of star trek OCs ! They're a group of friends who all serve abord the USS T'Sera during the late TNG era. I just really wanted to design a friend group made up of the four original federation founding members lol

They're on my ArtFight if anyone here participates

Here's some info about them :

Khov is a xenobiologist. Quite the Andorian history nerd, he won't shut up about the Ch'eraotherh Dynasty (his Roman Empire).

His naturally emotional disposition as an Andorian especially expresses itself when he's nervous or under some pressure, making him seem jumpy or easily panicked. But he's as capable of doing his job and performing under pressure as any other Starfleet officer -  externalizing his emotions is just the way he regulates and keeps a cool head.

He's usually well spoken and witty (you need to when you're friends with Rog and Ketis) but when it comes to romantic encounters he easily gets flustered. He has a (not-so) secret crush on the chief of security of the T'Sera, which he is very embarrassed about

Nadia is a relief helmsman. She's very eager and optimistic, and motivated to move up in the ranks. She loves piloting and daydreams about saving the whole ship with her prowess at the helm (and maybe even have a maneuver named after her, why not !)

She's a space native, her parents worked on a deep-space cargo freighter.

She often appears chill and the "reasonable middle ground" in her friend's heated debates (which they call "human mediator syndrome").

She also loves discussing couple gossip and gives a lot of romantic advice despite never having been in a romantic relationship herself (she's probably aroace but hasn't really thought about it)

Rog is a security officer. He first met Ketis on his arrival day during his medical checkup - during which he got into one of the most fun arguments in his life, and they've been best friends since then.

He values honesty and despises bootlickers and people pleasers. In that he counts those who try to start an argument with him as a pleasing tactic - he wants his debates to be genuine, thank you very much !

He's also a bit of an order and cleanliness freak.

His job at security made him very observant and perceptive . He's also capable of functioning on very little sleep.

Ketis a medical technician. He genuinely enjoys his friend group of varied emotional species, he finds it stimulating and an intellectual challenge (as well as a test of his emotional repression). He also finds their reasoning and points of view interesting and is always taking them into consideration. All this makes him pretty critical of some vulcans' arrogance and sense of superiority over other species, which he considers an to be an emotional response.

He particularly likes debating and can hold a friendly argument tirelessly, which is always good when being friends with a Tellarite.

He suffers from motion/space sickness, which is rare for a vulcan - and especially for a vulcan in starfleet. He sort of became infamous for it on the ship after an incident where he threw up on the Captain (who he was taking care of in sickbay during a red alert). Good thing he's purely logical because that'd be really embarrassing !

[mywitchyblog]

Debunking anti-Aging Rethoric (Again)

Thanks @lizzy4president for this post, and I will debunk it accordingly. It seems that these cultists/Shiftokers don’t know shit about shifting or how it works. No matter how much theoretical knowledge you have about shifting, there are things you will never know unless you have shifted yourself—and I mean full-on shifts, not minishifts. That said, I will debunk this:

My age Changing Post :

My Masterlist :

So, let’s talk about the whole “aging down is weird because your consciousness retains your current age” nonsense that these people keep pushing. First off, this argument shows a fundamental misunderstanding of how reality shifting works. When you shift to a different age in your Desired Reality (DR), you're not just playing dress-up or pretending to be younger—you become that age in every sense of the word.

Immersive Experience: The Reality of Aging Down

In your DR, you don’t just take on a younger appearance while keeping the maturity of your Original Reality (OR) self. No, it’s way deeper than that. Your entire cognitive and emotional framework adapts to the age you’ve shifted to. If you script yourself as a 14-year-old, you don’t walk around with the mindset of a 30-year-old stuck in a teenager’s body. You fully embody the mindset, emotions, and maturity of a 14-year-old. This isn’t just about physical changes—your brain, your thoughts, and your emotional responses align with that younger age.

Neuroscience backs this up too. Maturity is tied to the development of specific brain regions, like the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for things like decision-making and impulse control. When you shift, your consciousness adapts to the brain development appropriate for that age in your DR. You’re not lugging your OR brain around; instead, you’re operating with the cognitive equipment that matches your DR age. This means that in your DR, you’re not a 30-year-old thinking like a 14-year-old—you’re truly 14 with the maturity that comes with that age​.

Debunking the Consciousness Retention Myth

Now, some folks seem to think that when you shift to a younger age, you somehow retain your OR “adult consciousness.” This is pure bullshit. When you shift, your consciousness isn’t this fixed, immovable thing that drags your OR mentality into your DR. It’s adaptable and fluid. If you script or intend to be a teenager, your consciousness adjusts to that reality—period. There’s no “adult awareness” hanging around in the background. Your thoughts, decisions, and reactions all align with your DR age​.

The Fallacies Behind Anti-Aging Rhetoric

Let’s get into the nitty-gritty of why these anti-aging arguments are straight-up flawed. The rhetoric used against aging down is packed with logical fallacies that just don’t hold up when you actually understand shifting.

Straw Man Fallacy: This is when someone misrepresents an argument to make it easier to attack. Anti-aging down critics love to claim that anyone who shifts to a younger age is doing it for creepy, inappropriate reasons. They simplify the complexity of shifting into a caricature, which makes it easier for them to criticize. But that’s not how it works. Shifters age down for countless reasons—healing, exploration, nostalgia—and it’s not all about sexual or romantic intentions​.

Hasty Generalization: This fallacy happens when someone takes a limited number of cases and makes a broad, sweeping statement. Anti-aging rhetoric often assumes that if one person ages down for inappropriate reasons, then everyone who ages down must be doing the same. This ignores the vast majority of shifters who age down for completely innocent and personal reasons. Thesehoes need to stop making assumptions based on a few bad apples and recognize the diversity of experiences in the shifting community​.

False Equivalence: Here’s a big one. Critics often equate shifting to a younger age with being an adult in a child’s body in the OR, implying that it’s somehow the same as being predatory or inappropriate in the OR. This is a total false equivalence. When you shift, you fully become that younger self—your consciousness, maturity, and experiences align with that age in the DR. It’s not even remotely comparable to being an adult trying to live as a child in the OR​.

Slippery Slope: This fallacy suggests that if you allow one thing to happen (like aging down), it will inevitably lead to something much worse. Anti-aging critics often argue that allowing or accepting aging down will lead to more predatory behavior or normalize inappropriate desires or even the presence of pedophiles in the Shifting Community. But there’s no evidence to back this up. Aging down is about fully embracing and experiencing life at a different age, not about some slippery slope into immoral behavior​.

Addressing the Ethical Concerns

A lot of people throw around ethical concerns like they’re confetti, especially when it comes to aging down. They’re quick to scream, “But it’s creepy!” without understanding the actual reasons why someone might want to age down. Spoiler: it’s not always about romance or sex and in some cases it s even acceptable because you dont know why they do the things that they do what if someone got an traumatic event like SA in highschool and wish to replace it with a healthy moment ? Or someone got chated on and wished to see how things wouldve been ? Or someone was going to have an aooportunity like that but has missed out on it ? If someone yearns for the teenage romance eveyone and their mother in films movies and TV series love to push ? This is not shifting for predatory reasons far from it.

For many shifters, aging down is about healing or exploring stages of life they didn’t get to fully experience in their OR. It could be about reliving a simpler time, overcoming past traumas, or just enjoying the freedom and innocence that comes with being younger. It’s a deeply personal process, and it’s not inherently sexual or predatory​.

Infinite Realities and Subjective Morals

Let’s not forget that shifting involves infinite realities, each with its own set of rules and morals. What might be seen as inappropriate in one reality could be completely normal in another. This idea that OR morals are the blueprint for every DR is just plain wrong. If you’re aging down in your DR, it’s because that reality’s context allows it, and there’s nothing inherently weird or wrong about that. It’s time to stop judging DR experiences by OR standards​.

Conclusion: Embrace the Full Experience

In conclusion, aging down isn’t weird, predatory, or inappropriate. When you shift, you become that age completely—mentally, emotionally, and cognitively. The arguments against this practice are based on misunderstandings, fallacies, and a lack of real shifting experience. Shifting is about exploring and fully immersing yourself in another reality, and that includes becoming the age you choose to shift to. So, the next time someone tells you that aging down is weird, just remember: they don’t know what they’re talking about, and you’re the one who truly understands the depth of the shifting experience.

[cupidlovesastro]

𝑚𝑜𝑜𝑛 𝑠𝑖𝑔𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒

this obviously doesn’t have to apply to a tea, so if not everything applies to your mom that’s okay!

aries- she could’ve been passionate, an art lover or creative in some form, ambitious, impulsive, bold, passionate, and masculine in some manner. she could’ve been the kind of mom that often rushed you to do things and she may also be in some kind of sport, or engages in physical activities like yoga or the gym. she could also seem to be the type to not think before she does something, like she’s just on the go.

taurus- she may have been homely, stubborn, decorative, hardworking, materialistic, loyal, down to earth, and feminine. she could’ve been the kind of mom that cooks a lot, buys candles, decorates the house, and even buys you things. she could’ve been a stay at home mom, or a housewife. but if she does work, she’s hard working and may over work herself, and is lazier at home

gemini- she could be a jokester, logical, talkative, childlike traits, adaptable, friendly, charismatic, flakey, and even anxious. your mom could be the life of the party. she could like to have fun and be loose and free, but she may also have some serious worries. she could enjoy joking with you or speaking to / about you often (not in a bad way). she could also be flighty and has a hard time speaking on a emotional level or connecting that way

cancer- your mom could be caring, empathetic, motherly, moody, snappy, homely, intuitive, passive aggressive, and nurturing. your mom could may be the textbook definition of a mother, caring, understanding, loving, etc. she may also have days where she’s moody and passive though. she could enjoy being a mother and may be quite intuitive with you and your siblings if you have one/some

leo- your mom could be confident, passionate, dramatic, loving, expressive, attention seeking, a leader, determined, and egotistical. your mother may have a distinct style or something makes her recognizable because of how expressive she is. she could also have a dominant personality, and may let her ego get in the way at times. but she could be good at teaching you confidence, and she may also be very loving

virgo- your mom might be organized, shy, reserved, analytical, logical, down to earth, focused on health, critical, and acts of service form of affection. your mom could keep to herself and not be a loud person, but she may also be critical of you. she could do things for you as a form of showing love, like doing your laundry, clean your room for you, etc. you may have a hard time connecting with her emotionally, due to virgo being ruled by mercury, a logical planet

libra- she may be charismatic, aesthetic focused, friendly, charming, flakey, shallow, attractive, flirty, avoidant of conflict, harmonious, and looks for fairness. your mother may have dressed you up a lot growing up, or gave her opinions on what you wear often. she may also not enjoy getting in arguments and could be passive aggressive, but she could be very nice and caring to you as well. your mom could also be avoidant of sharing feelings and may try to keep things surface level

scorpio- she could be secretive, intuitive, mysterious, empathetic, intense, distrusting, powerful, obsessive, loyal, and passionate. your mother may keep a lot of things from you wether it’s for a good or bad reason, and you may not know as much as you thought you did about her. she may also have an intense personality, and may be obsessive/ overly protective of you. she could be intuitive of your wants and needs and others may be intimidated by her if someone hurts you

sagittarius- your mother could be free spirited, adventurous, passionate, enjoys debates, optimistic, reckless, freedom oriented, and flighty. your mother could’ve been very hands off with you and been quite reckless in their parenting style. she could also be passionate about politics, religion, cultures, places around the world, etc. she could’ve taken you many places growing up and she may be argumentative.

capricorn- your mom could’ve been ambitious, money oriented, serious, distant, moody, disciplined, practical, and efficient. your mom may have been those moms who always felt the need to tell you the way she thinks your should’ve done something. she may have also be serious and focused on her money. she could’ve been good at teaching you how to make money, good financial advice, and how to work efficiently

aquarius- she could be logical, distant, unique, unpredictable, friendly, rebellious, caring for the world, and individualistic. your mom could’ve been cold with your or just distant or made you distant. she may have been rebellious, like she could’ve picked you up from school early just because she felt like it or something lol. she also cares about her independence, she cares about groups of people, but does not want to be put in a box. your mom could’ve been spontaneous with her emotions or actions

pisces- your mother could be intuitive, imaginative, empathetic, emotional, delusional, idealistic, compassionate, passive aggressive, and sensitive. your mom could be quite a lot emotionally. she could be good at understanding and empathizing with your emotions though, and helping you dream big. she could’ve been the kind of mom to create her own perspective of a situation instead of what really happened, which could be difficult to deal with

paid readings: <3

[kleopatra45]

Mercury in the Signs

Mercury represents communication, intellect, and reasoning in astrology. The way Mercury expresses itself can be significantly influenced by the sign it occupies in your birth chart.

Mercury in Aries

Mercury in Aries individuals communicate in a direct, assertive, and sometimes impulsive manner. They are quick thinkers and quick talkers, often enthusiastic and eager to share their ideas. They value straightforwardness and can sometimes come across as blunt or impatient.

Mercury in Taurus

With Mercury in Taurus, communication is practical, deliberate, and grounded. These individuals prefer to think things through before speaking and are known for their reliable and steady manner of expression. They appreciate clarity and can be persuasive due to their methodical approach.

Mercury in Gemini

Mercury is at home in Gemini, making these individuals highly communicative, curious, and adaptable. They excel at gathering and sharing information, often having a wide range of interests. Their quick wit and versatility make them excellent conversationalists.

Mercury in Cancer

Mercury in Cancer individuals communicate with empathy and sensitivity. They are intuitive and often understand others' emotions, making them excellent listeners. Their thinking is influenced by their feelings, and they may have a good memory for personal details and past experiences.

Mercury in Leo

When Mercury is in Leo, communication is confident, dramatic, and expressive. These individuals have a flair for storytelling and enjoy being the center of attention. They are persuasive speakers and can be quite inspiring, often using creativity in their communication.

Mercury in Virgo

Mercury also rules Virgo, and in this sign, it signifies precise, analytical, and detail-oriented communication. Virgo Mercuries are logical and practical, often excelling at tasks that require critical thinking and organization. They value clarity and efficiency in their expressions.

Mercury in Libra

Mercury in Libra individuals communicate with grace, charm, and diplomacy. They are skilled at seeing multiple perspectives and strive for balance and fairness in their interactions. Their ability to mediate and harmonize makes them excellent at resolving conflicts.

Mercury in Scorpio

Mercury in Scorpio brings a penetrating, investigative, and intense approach to communication. These individuals seek to uncover hidden truths and are not afraid to delve into deep, complex topics. They can be persuasive and powerful in their speech, often using their insight to influence others.

Mercury in Sagittarius

With Mercury in Sagittarius, communication is enthusiastic, optimistic, and expansive. These individuals are open-minded and love exploring new ideas and philosophies. They may have a tendency to speak their mind bluntly but are generally well-meaning and honest.

Mercury in Capricorn

Mercury in Capricorn individuals communicate in a disciplined, practical, and structured manner. They are goal-oriented and prefer to keep conversations focused and purposeful. Their communication style is often serious and professional, valuing tradition and reliability.

Mercury in Aquarius

Mercury in Aquarius brings an innovative, progressive, and unconventional approach to communication. These individuals are forward-thinking and enjoy discussing new and revolutionary ideas. They value independence and originality, often coming across as detached or eccentric.

Mercury in Pisces

Mercury in Pisces individuals communicate with imagination, empathy, and intuition. They often have a poetic or artistic way of expressing themselves and can be quite compassionate listeners. Their thinking can be more abstract and less structured, relying on their intuitive understanding.

©️kleopatra45

[asterlark]

me and den @unloneliest were just talking about murderbot and ART's relationship and i want to discuss how they quite literally complete each other's sensory and emotional experience of the world!!

there's a few great posts on here such as this one about how murderbot uses drones to fully and properly experience the world around it (it also accesses security cameras/other systems for this same purpose). but i haven't seen anyone so far talk about how once MB stops working for the company and consequently doesn't have a hubsystem/secsystem to connect to anymore (which for its entire existence up to that point had been how it was used to interacting with its environment/doing its job), after it meets ART, ART starts to fill that gap.

ART gives MB access to more cameras, systems, and information archives than it would normally be able to connect with while MB is on its own outside of ART's... body(? lol), but also directly gives MB access to its own cameras, drones, archives, facilities, and processing space. additionally, so much of ART's function is dedicated to analysis, lateral thinking, and logical reasoning, and it not only uses those skills in service of reaching murderbot's goals, it teaches murderbot how to use those same skills. (ART might be a bit of an asshole about how it does this, but that doesn't negate just how much it does for murderbot for no reason other than it's bored/interested in MB as an individual.)

we all love goofing about how artificial condition can basically be boiled down to "two robots in a trench coat trying to get through a job interview" (which is entirely accurate tbh) but that's also such a great example of ART fulfilling the role of both murderbot's "hubsystem" and "secsystem", allowing it to fully experience its environment/ succeed in its goals. ART provides MB with crucial information, context, and constructive criticism, and uses its significant processing power to act as MB's backup and support system while they work together.

from ART's side of things, we get a very explicit explanation of how it needs the context of murderbot's emotional reactions to media in order to fully understand and experience the media as intended. it tried to watch media with its humans, and it didn't completely understand just by studying their reactions. but when it's in a feed connection with murderbot, who isn't human but has human neural tissue, ART is finally able to thoroughly process the emotional aspects of media (side note, once it actually understands the emotional stakes in a way that makes sense for it, it's so frightened by the possibility of the fictional ship/crew in worldhoppers being catastrophically injured or killed that it makes murderbot pause for a significant amount of time before it feels prepared to go on. like!! ART really fucking loves its crew, that is all).

looking at things further from ART's perspective: its relationship with murderbot is ostensibly the very first relationship it's been able to establish with not only someone outside of its crew, but also with any construct at all. while ART loves its crew very much (see previous point re: being so so scared for the fate of the fictional crew of worldhoppers), it never had a choice in forming relationships with them. it was quite literally programmed to build those relationships with its crew and students. ART loves its function, its job, and nearly all of the humans that spend time inside of it, but its relationship with murderbot is the first time it's able to choose to make a new friend. that new friend is also someone who, due to its partial machine intelligence, is able to understand and know ART on a whole other level of intimacy that humans simply aren't capable of. (that part goes for murderbot, too, obviously; ART is its first actual friend outside of the presaux team, and its first bot friend ever.)

and because murderbot is murderbot, and not a "nice/polite to ART most of the time" human, this is also one of the first times that ART gets real feedback from a friend about the ways that its actions impact others. after the whole situation in network effect, when the truth of the kidnapping comes to light and murderbot hides in the bathroom refusing to talk to ART (and admittedly ART doesn't handle this well lol) - ART is forced to confront that despite it making the only call it felt able to make in that horrifying situation, despite it thinking that that was the right call, its actions hurt murderbot, and several other humans were caught in the crossfire. what's most scary to ART in that moment is the idea that murderbot might never forgive it, might never want to talk to it again. it's already so attached to this friendship, so concerned with murderbot's wellbeing, that the thought of that friendship being over because of its own behavior is terrifying. (to me, this almost mirrors murderbot's complete emotional collapse when it thinks that ART has been killed. the other more overt mirror is ART fully intending on bombing the colony to get murderbot back.)

in den's words, they both increase the other's capacity to feel: ART by acting as a part of murderbot's sensory system, and murderbot by acting as a means by which ART can access emotion. they love one another so much they would do pretty much anything to keep each other safe/avenge each other, but what's more, they unequivocally make each other more whole.

[bonefall]

the worst parent poll made me realize just how many ppl in the fandom are willing to jump straight into abuse apologia. bc on one hand you have ppl dumbing down crow's abuse to "him just being mean" and on the other end you have ppl saying that curlfeather didnt abuse frostpaw because she sacrificed herself and frost + her siblings love her so she couldnt possibly be an abuser. truly mindboggling stuff take these serious topics away from the fandom asap.

Part of me feels like it's because many in this fandom have a feeling that if a character's actions are abusive, it means you're "not allowed" to like them. Like there's an impulse where if you liked a character, it MUST mean they weren't THAT bad, because you'd personally never like "an abuser."

As if it reflects poorly on your own morality, as a person, that you connected with An Abuser. Understood them, even. Even if it was just a character.

If it's immoral to Like Abusive Characters, of course your reaction is going to end up being abuse apologia. To enjoy something isn't logical, it's emotional, so you will get defensive about it when questioned. When you do, it's not going to be based on logic because you didn't reason yourself into that position in the first place. It's an attack on you as a person.

I feel like that's often the root of abuse apologia in this fandom, and sometimes the world at large; "If I admit that this character/person IS abusive, it means I was doing something bad by liking them, so I have to prove to everyone else that they weren't or it means I'm bad too."

And to that I say... That's a BAD impulse! Grow up and admit you resonated with a character that did a bad thing! If that's an uncomfortable thought, sit with it!

Sometimes abusers are likeable! They usually DO think they're justified in their actions, or doing it for "a good reason," or were just too preoccupied to care. MOST of the time, people who commit abusive actions are also hurt or traumatized in some way. You might even empathize with them. None of this means their actions have to be excused or downplayed.

"Abusers" aren't a type of goddamn yokai, they're people just like you and me. You don't help victims of abuse by putting the people who hurt us in an "untouchable" category.

In fact, all it does is make you less likely to recognize your own controlling behavior. You're capable of abuse. People you love are capable of it, too. People who love YOU can still hurt you.

In spite of how often people regurgitate "It's Ok To Like A Character As Long As You're Critical Of Their Actions," every day it is proven to me further and further that no one who says it actually understands what that means.

All that said; I think it's no contest which one's a worse parent, imo.

They both mistreated their children, but Curlfeather did it through manipulation without verbal or physical abuse. She politically groomed her into a position of power so that she could use her as a pawn. It can be argued if this counts as child abuse-- but it's firmly still under the broad category childhood maltreatment, which is damaging.

(though anon I'm with you 100% at seeing RED when "but she sacrificed herself" is used as an excuse. Curlfeather's death does NOT CHANGE what she did to Frostpaw in life. I think it's a valid point to bring up when comparing her to another terrible parent for judgement purposes, such as in the context of this poll, but I really hate the implication that redemption deaths "make up" for maltreatment.)

Crowfeather, meanwhile, is textually responsible for putting Breezepaw through verbal AND physical abuse, as well as child neglect. His motivations include embarrassment from a hurt ego, revenge on his ex, and being sad because of a dead girlfriend. This abuse drives Breezepelt towards radicalization in the Dark Forest.

You could argue Curlfeather is a worse person for Reedwhisker's murder, but as a parent? It's not even a question to me. Crowfeather's one of the worst dads in WC.

[charlesoberonn]

Being an atheist doesn't make you immune to being recruited by a cult.

For one, there're plenty of non-religious cults. Political cults, economic cults, cults based around a lifestyle. Even fandoms or hobbies.

Secondly, cults have a nasty habit of changing your beliefs once you're in them. They exploit psychological weaknesses in the human mind to make you believe things you wouldn't have otherwise, unquestionably.

If you have half an hour to spare please watch this video about how adults can get indoctrinated

To summarize it: Cults and other manipulative groups and ideologies will often target you when you're vulnerable, such as during a time of change and uncertainty in life. They'll use emotional and social pressures to overpower your critical thinking skills, or take advantage of logical fallacies to bypass it. And they'll exploit the human need for consistency in our thoughts to make you change or discard existing beliefs to fit with the new beliefs, regardless of how true or reasonable they are.

I'm making this post to not make you feel helpless, but the exact opposite. Knowledge about how cults take advantage of you, and understanding that you're not immune to them, is the first step towards taking proactive steps to protect yourself from such group.

Also, cults and controlling groups and ideologies don't come in just many types but many levels of intensity. You don't have to he living on a compound after having devoted your life to the group in a special ceremony to be influenced unduly by one such group. It's important to every once in a while take a step back and examine what you believe and see if it'd reasonable and genuine or something you're clinging onto for unjustified reasons.