#A monthly release could have done wonders

[bookskittychad]

I love how dramatic fence is, I especially love how not even half of the drama has been unpacked yet lol. Like jesse and nick JUST met like its just so funny to me.

[explicit-tae]

Moral Dilemma

Your morality is tested at a monthly family dinner that gets interrupted by two masked men. @seokjinkismet @bloodline1632 @babycandy111 @chimmy-licious

Word Count:7.317

Warning: yandere themes, dark themes, smut, coercion/dubcon/ violence, blood, multiple character deaths, stalking, slight gunplay, oral (f receiving), spitting, dirty talking, fingering, pussy slapping, unprotected sex, dacryphilia, creampie,

Halloween Masterlist

The drive to your parents home was a long one - about an hour from your apartment in the city. It was a drive you dreaded taking. Not because of how far it was, but because you knew who you’d be seeing upon entering. 

Your mother was someone you loved dearly, but was someone you’d rather keep at a distance. She was the type to constantly ask about your love life, wondering when you’d be married and have children. A career didn’t matter to her if there was a man wealthy enough to marry and settle down with. The amount of times she stated that you’re wasting your youth on working in a useless field and should look into marrying could be counted on both hands. 

Your father was the boastful type - he bragged about any and everything he could. His cars, houses, business - it all. You couldn’t fault him, however. He claimed that he had to start from the bottom and work his way up, but even he was someone who looked down upon your choice to work instead of using your privileged last name.

With two parents came four children, you being the second youngest. Your elder brother was the first to follow in your fathers footsteps and take over one business. He was married and had no children yet much to your mothers dismay. 

Your older sister was who you bumped heads with constantly - a carbon copy of the mother you shared. She hadn’t worked ever and had taken your mothers advice and married a close friend of the family - the age difference is a bit alarming, but you didn’t dwell on it often. 

Your younger brother and final child was a breath of fresh air. He had not yet been corrupted by your parents' views thus far and was only a freshman in college. He opted to stay on campus unless he had to come home - like today. Only he and you were the most distant to the rest while remaining close to one another.

Your call pulls into the large estate and you release a deep sigh. You were the last to arrive, familiar cars in your line of vision.  You pull next to your eldest brother's silver ferrari - a gift from your father when he graduated college. You contemplated slamming your door against his to chip the paint, but decided against it. You and your brother had no real issue - but you still held a grudge when he laughed at a joke your sister had said one day, completely embarrassing you in the process. 

Your heels clicked against the pavement as you made your way up the stone stairs. You were greeted with a wide smile of one of many workers that night - the oldest worker your parents hired decades ago.

“Sofia.” you bow to the older woman who does the same. “WIll you be joining us for dinner tonight?”

Sofia shakes her head, her eyes shining with amusement. “I never do. I will be making my leave shortly.”

You giggle. “I could only hope you’d stay.” was your response. 

Every monthly dinner your parents hosted always ended in a mess. Your sister and you bickering with one another, your mother having one too many glasses of wine while your father became enraged in a conversation about politics with your older brother. 

The estate is quiet upon entering. You made sure to come around this time. Dinner would soon be done and all you had to do was have dinner, mingle a bit for your younger brother, and then leave. 

You wished your boyfriend was here with you. It would make things easier for you. You could make an excuse to even leave earlier because he was with you - next time hopefully.

You remove your heels at the door and make your way down the hall to the dining area. Your nostrils are filled with the scent of dinner and your stomach churns. Your father was an amazing cook, much to outsiders' surprise. You recalled many times he would cook and give your mother the credit - she was the type to burn water.

You enter the large dining room. You noticed the table has changed - the dark brown wooden table changed to a glass one, surrounded by off white chairs. It makes the room brighter as the chandelier above it illuminates throughout the room.

“Well, it’s about time.”

Your mood soured at the voice of your sister. 

“How long were you planning on making us wait for you?”

Your eyes glance her way. She wore an annoyed look on her face. Your older brother had been munching on a piece of bread, not sparing you a second glance. 

“You’re the only one waiting for me to eat.” you say, noticing even your younger brother chewing. You took the seat besides him, patting his shoulder as you did so. 

Your sister sucks her teeth, but she doesn’t respond. 

The food is displayed in the center of the table and you waste no time in making your own plate. The last time you ate was this morning with your boyfriend and decided to skip lunch so you had room for dinner. 

Conversation erupts throughout the table, you and your younger brother deciding to speak amongst one another. He spoke about his college classes and the parties he attends - everything you know due to social media. He speaks fondly of a person, making sure not to be too loud for listening ears to hear. He breezes past the word he before flushing and changing the subject - all you could do was smile.

“Where’s your boyfriend?”

And of course, that voice speaks once more.

“Where’s your husband?” you retort.

“Not tonight.” your mother says warningly after your older brother snorts. She takes a sip of her wine and you want to repeat her words but bite your tongue.

“I wasn’t the one who said I would be bringing someone.” your sister takes a sip of water and raises her brows. “Now, where’s this boyfriend of yours?”

Her tone doesn’t go unnoticed. She thinks you’re lying about your boyfriend- you’re aware. You don’t feel the need to post him on social media and vice versa - the most you did was introduce him once during a facetime call with your younger brother, but that was all. Your older brother never pried into your life and you didn’t want to hear your mothers constant questions of marriage.

“He has to work.” you shrug.

“Sure.” your sister takes a bite of her steak.

You blink your eyes away to your mother who’s already staring at you. 

“Hopefully we’ll meet him next time.”

You remain silent. You weren’t going to engage in yet another argument with her like she desired. You decided on picking up your fork and sinking your teeth into the steak.

“If he exists.”

You drop your fork harshly. It slams against the glass plate.

“Not again.” your older brother murmurs. 

“What the fuck is that suppose to mean?” you hiss at her. 

“You supposedly have been dating someone for almost a year.” she shrugs her shoulders. “But we never see him.”

“Why would I bring him here?” you retort. “So you can continue to be a bitch?”

“Oh, I struck a nerve.” she giggles. “I’m not the one lying-”

“Lying?!” you snicker. 

“Y/N has nothing to prove to any of us.” your younger brother defends with a roll of his eyes. “He does exist. I met him.”

“Oh, really?” your sister leans forward interested. “So did the both of you share details on your boyfriends?”

Your hands clench while your younger brother stiffens. 

“That’s enough.” your older brother hisses, raising his hand in front of your sister. “You’re going too far.”

“What does she mean boyfriends?” your mother slurs and now you’re ready to pounce on your sister for her slick mouth. 

“Nothing.” you, your younger and older brother say in unison. “I think we should just eat in silence.” your older brother grumbles. 

“As do I.” your father quips.

“Your daughter,” your sister points to you. “is a liar. And your son,” she points to your younger brother besides you. “is gay.”

Your father stops eating while your older brother sighs.

“You can’t have anyone else be happy, can you?” you stand to your feet with a shake of your head. “What the fuck-”

“Y/N it’s okay.” your younger brother murmurs, but the soft tone indicates that it wasn’t okay in the slightest. Even if there was speculation on his sexuality, your mother was in denial and constantly asked him of girlfriends or flings that he was just end up lying about going on dates with the girls she’d set him up with. Luckily, said girls were kind enough to hold up the lie.

“Yes, Y/N. It’s okay.” your sister shrugs. “You can admit that you don’t have a boyfriend and we can all accept our baby brother for who he is.”

“Are you that miserable with life?” you ask. “Does that husband of yours not please you enough that you want to come here and fuck with everyone else lives? Or is it because he’s going broke?”

The table grows silent at the new revelancing. Your sister reddens with embarrassment, her hand clenching the glass of water in her hand.

“Is that true?” your mother slurs.

“Yes, it is.” you giggle, taking your seat. “Tell us how your dear old husband has filed for bankruptcy.”

Your older brother widens his eyes at you with a head shake. He was the one to tell you after he had heard mumblings from his own group of friends - the both of you laughed at the irony. Your sister had gloated that she married rich while already being rich - and now look where that got her. 

“You sit around and try to make our lives hell because yours is.” you spit at your sister. “You fucked an old man for money just for him to end up broke.” you shake your head with another laugh. “I’m sure father would let you move back in. Just ask.”

Your sister stands, slamming her manicured hands against the table and before she can scream at you, she falls back.

The glass window directly behind you shatters. Particles of glass dance off your skin. The room erupts in screams and cries. Your eyes blink open and widen at the sight before you. 

Your sister is bleeding, clutching her shoulder. Blood pools out from, coating her hands and staining her shirt. 

Your older brother is the first to respond. He grabs a cloth and places it against the wound, a loud cry erupting from her throat. 

“W-What the fuck?” your younger brother is in shock, unable to move from his seat. Your mother is crying and your father is patting his pockets for his phone. “We have to call the police-”

Another shot rings out, this time louder. You grasp your younger brother and fall to the ground, watching in horror as your father falls to his knees. He clenches his stomach, blood oozing out of him, as well. 

Your eyes swell with tears, mind racing with confusion. You’re unsure what to do to help, completely frozen with fear. You hold your brother against you tightly, afraid that he would be the next one shot. 

From beneath the table, your eyes catch dark leather boots. You're paralyzed with fear at the sight of two pairs of feet rushing forward. You hear another shot ring out, your older brother wincing. His body drops to the ground while he begins to bleed. The bleeding wound is on his shoulder similar to your sisters, but the next one is right between his eyes. 

“Please! D-Do you want money?!” your mother cries, her arms wrapping around your deceased brother.

You are the next to scream. The glass table is flipped, shattering against the marble floor. Your brother holds onto you tighter, but only for a second. He’s being ripped away from you and now it’s your turn to plead.

“N-No! Take me! Just leave-”

A black gun is placed against your brother's head. His eyes are closed while soft tears are spilling out of his eyes. You’re afraid to move or speak for his sake.

The masked man is tall. He sports a completely black attire with an all white chilling mask that hides his eyes. 

The masked man’s partner sends a shot to your mother and her crying stops, but you’re unable to look her way. The eyeless holes of the masked man before you paralyze you in fear. 

“P-Please…” you begin to cry. Your father whimpers behind you while your sister is crying behind the masked man. Your older brother and mother are dead and you don’t want your younger brother to follow suit. “W-We have money…just don’t hurt him. W-What is it that you w-want?”

You gasp when the masked man slams the handle of his gun against your brother's head. He falls to the ground limp. “He isn’t dead.” the second masked man says from across the room, voice muffled. “Yet.”

“P-Please don’t kill us.” you begged, bowing lower to show your mercy. Your hands rest above your head and you feel the broken glass of the window pinching your skin. 

You scream once you feel your hair being tugged. The masked man in front of you forces you to your feet. You don’t want to look the man in the face - the white emotionless mask frightened you. You’re unsure who these men are and what they truly wanted with you. You assumed money - your father being well known as wealthy and your family name was just as out there. But did they have to kill you all one by one to get money? You would have given them anything in the home - fine jewelry, expensive art pieces and furniture and more - if they allowed your family to be unharmed. 

You stiffen when you feel the cold gun against your lips. The masked man taps it a few times. Your heart jumps out of your chest when you realize what he’s expecting of you. You open your mouth slowly, shuddering when you feel the gun slide between your lips.

The masked man turns to face your sister who’s watching with wide eyes. Her clothing is stained with her own blood and you’re unsure how long she’d last until she passed out due to her injuries.

The gun slides deeper inside your mouth. Your eyes close, breathing hitching. You’re unsure if he’s doing this to scare you - because it’s obviously working - or a way to defile you even further.

The gun is removed from your mouth. You hear footsteps begin to kick up. Your eyes blink open to find the second masked man grabbing your sister and hoisting her up. “W-What are you doing?!”

Your sister hisses at the harsh treatment as she’s being rushed out of the dining room. You want to follow her - to reach out and help her, but you can’t. The masked man is in front of you, dark eye sockets on you.

“Y/N.”

The sound of your name being heard by the masked man causes you to shudder. You’re shocked - goosebumps roaming your body. Did the man behind the mask know you? Your family? You do not recognize the voice even if it is muffled behind the mask nor do you recognize the stature of his body. 

“You know my name.” you murmur. You begin to think that maybe this is someone that was wronged by your family - a long list that would possibly take all night to go over in your mind. “D-Do I know your name?”

The masked man is silent for a moment, so much that you’re unsure if he heard you.

“Do-”

“I heard you.” the masked man interrupts. “No, you do not.”

You hands begin to tremble. That doesn’t tell you who he is, what he wants or any motives. You not knowing who is was didn’t mean that you didn’t know you and your family - or if he was ever wronged by them. 

“I can tell you’re thinking so hard.” you stiffen when he brings up a gloved hand to touch your cheek. “You’re wondering why we’re doing this. Why am I here before you?”

The man is touching you so softly, his gloved thumb rubbing along your cheek. You want to sob at his actions..

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N.”

Your breathing hitchens when his hand slides down to your neck and he takes a single step closer to you. Your mind is screaming at you, alarm bells are ringing. 

“You’re afraid. Understandable.”

The gloved hand drops back to its side and he tilts his head. 

“Who are you?” you whisper. As much as your heart beats for an answer, you’re sure that you’re afraid to find out. What if you saw his face and knew exactly who he was - then what? What would he do to you then upon knowing his face and name? “There must be something you want from me?”

The masked man moves slowly. He removes his gloves and drops them upon the floor effortlessly. He’s young - you can always tell the age of a person by looking at their hands. They appeared soft and young. Fingernails trimmed and cleaned - you snap your eyes away and into the eyeless sockets. 

“I do want something from you.”

“Money?” you ask hopefully, even if in your heart you’re sure that if that's what he wanted, there would be a robbery instead of blatant murder. 

“I have more than enough money. Especially in my profession.” you hear a tint of amusement in his muffled tone. “Down the hall to the right, there’s a bathroom, correct?”

Just who the hell was this man and how long had he been following you - and your family?

“Yes.”

“Lead the way.”

It’s a command. Your eyes lower to your younger brother’s unmoving body, surrounded by broken glass and splattered blood. 

“He'll remain alive.” the masked man says. “You have my word.”

Somehow, his word didn’t mean much - but you decided that if you did as you were told that you, your sister and brother would remain alive. Just as long as you sacrifice yourself.

You sauntered down the quiet hallway to the nearest bathroom - a large room with high ceilings and a whole wall dedicated to a large mirror. You can feel the man close behind you. As you open the door for the both of you, he’s quick to close it behind him. 

“Turn around.”

Another command. You do as you’re told, unsure what the masked man wants from you. Your beating heart has a clue.

As you turn, your eyes meet his - not the socketless ones of the mask. Dark brown eyes laying upon a smooth, young face. You feel hot with embarrassment when your eyes don’t blink - they continue to stare. His hair is dark and shiny, a single strain hanging on his forehead while the rest didn’t appear out of place in the slightest. His lips are pink and full, moisturized just as his skin.

You didn’t know who this man was but the sight of his catches you by surprise.

“My name’s Hoseok.”

Hoseok.

Hoseok.

You didn’t know a Hoseok.

“Hoseok…”

Hoseok is a bit easier to read when his mask is off. His eyes widen only for a slight moment at you repeating his name. 

“Please, Hoseok.” you’re frightened to the core. This man is a killer along with his partner. Your mind can only wonder what in the world he’s doing with your sister. “W-Whatever you want. I can give it. Just please don’t hurt my brother and sister.”

You hear Hoseok sigh. He shakes his head with a low tsk. “You are so naive, Y/N.” he places a hand upon your cheek once more. “So caring. But that’s what I love about you.”

Your eyebrows knit together.

“I’ve known you for over a year now.” Hoseok begins. “I watched as you went to work each day even if you’re worth millions. You lived in a condo in the city - smaller than what you’re accustomed to.”

Hoseok’s thumb outlines your lips. 

“Every now and then you would visit your brother and spend the day with him. You would also hang out with your boyfriend when he wasn’t cheating.”

Your eyes blink a few times at his words. Cheating?

“Of course you didn’t know.” Hoseok hums. “But I do. He’s been cheating on you for months now, baby. Dye red hair with split ends. Name’s-”

“Bella.” you murmur, the short description as all you needed. “His-”

“Best friend.” Hoseok finishes. 

You look away from Hoseok.

You want to feel sad about your boyfriend's cheating, but you are beginning to feel numb. In normal circumstances, you’d possibly cry at how naive you were - clueless. You should have seen this coming long ago by just how close Bella and he were, but you didn’t want to appear insecure bringing it up to him.

But again, you aren’t as sad as you want to be. You had lost three members of your family thus far and your sister was hurt while your brother knocked unconscious. 

“You’re not like them.” Hoseok’s voice drags you back to reality. “You aren’t as horrible as them.”

“They didn’t deserve to die.” you quip. 

“Your father has done some fucked up things in the past. Your brother following in his footsteps.” Hoseok twirls a strand of your hair between both his index and thumb. “Your mother was just a nuisance. I know how much she put you down for not being like her.”

Just how much did Hoseok know about you and your family?

“You and your brother are the only hope left.” Hoseok murmurs. “The only two that aren’t far gone.”

You shake your head slightly. 

“Even your sister is far gone.”

“Please-”

“Ssshh.”

Hoseok’s finger lifts to your lips to hush you. 

“Turn around.”

You feel Hoseok’s hands upon your shoulders as you face the mirror. His eyes watch yours through the reflection.

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N.”

“So are you.” you murmur, the hot feeling coming back. You’re unsure what Hoseok’s true intentions were, but his admission told you that he knows more than enough. And you had already seen what he is capable of.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Y/N.” Hoseok says. “You don’t have to say anything to flatter me.”

“I’m not.” you swallow. You happen to think Hoseok was an attractive person - if you would have met him under other circumstances, you would be swooning. It’s difficult to ignore the elephant in the room even if the man is attractive. 

Hoseok offers a smile. You ponder just how someone who appears so innocent and nice could be a killer - you wonder what he and his partner truly was. Hitmen? Assassins?

Hoseok’s eyes never leave yours, not even as his hands lower to touch along your neck then to your collarbone. 

“How did you…find me?” you’re unsure of the word to use.

“A client.”

You inhale.

“I’m sure you know what I am by now, baby. Hitman?”

You exhale. Your conscience was right. Someone had hired him to do this to your family.

“I was paid to kill your family.”

Hoseok’s words replay in your mind. All you can think about is how he managed to do so - your mother, father and brother were already gone. By Hoseok’s words, your sister will be next. 

“Taehyung and I are not monsters. We killed those we saw fit.” You feel Hoseok’s body press against yours, radiating warmth. “We take on these jobs as hitmen, but we make sure those who are paid to kill are worth killing. Your brother and you…are not.”

You blink. It feels sick to feel satisfied that he had no intentions on harming you and your brother - as the rest of your family lay dead. 

“We take money upfront to do the job. We kill the client if we feel as if the target does not deserve death.”

You swallow when Hoseok’s hands begin to lower. His hands halt upon your chest and right above your heart. He feels it thump.

“Are you scared of me, Y/N?” Hoseok questions. 

“You said you weren’t going to hurt me.” you respond to him. Your head leans back against his chest, eyes never leaving him in the mirror. 

“You have my word. You and your brother are safe.”

You gulp.

Your father was dead, as was your mother and brother. Your sister - if she was still alive - was going to be soon. You had nothing left to lose besides your own life and that of your brother. Hoseok has been following you for a year now and knew everything - there was no escaping him.

Maybe if you gave him what he wanted, you could keep your sister alive. 

“Is she still alive?”

“Your sister? For now, yes.”

You nod your head.

“What do you want from me, Hoseok?” you had a clue. “What happens after all of this?”

You watch his expression change. He hasn’t thought about it that far as of yet, you note. 

“I don’t want you to fear me.”

“I won’t.”

“I don’t want you to leave me, either.”

You feel Hoseok press himself even tighter against you. 

He inhaled deeply. There was no escaping Hoseok. 

“I won’t leave you.” you murmur. “There isn’t anywhere for me to go. You’ve had eyes on me for a long time.”

Hoseok again smiles. He places a kiss against the back of your head and inhales the fresh scent of your hair. “I knew keeping you alive was a good choice, baby. You’re smart and kind. You actually care about people.” His words are sinister and they replay in your mind. You ponder when Hoseok actually thought about keeping you alive and what you’ve done that had his decision forming. You feel uneasy thinking about how he has been watching you this entire time and you never felt his presence. There was never a time in the last year that you felt eyes upon you - or if anyone was following you in the slightest.

In the end, there was no escaping Hoseok - so you wouldn’t even try.

“Do you want me, Hoseok?”

Hoseok is a dangerous man - him and his partner. Taehyung was his name; a name you didn’t recognize, either. He was hired to kill your family by an unknown person or organization - he followed you for over a year now and knows your routine. He became infatuated within that time. The reason you were truly unsure of, but you could use this to your advantage. Though you do not truly understand what Hoseok wants in the end of all of this - a romantic relationship or just sexual encounter - you were determined to do it. To stay alive through it all - maybe you could convince him that your sister was even worth saving.

You turn to face Hoseok, placing your hands against his chest. “Do you want me, Hoseok?” you repeat, your voice lowering to a murmur. Your hands rub up his chest to his shoulders. He’s solid, stiff shoulders jolting as if you sent a bolt of electricity through them.

“Y/N…?” Hoseok murmurs, his hand touching yours as it reaches his cheek. “...do you want me to kill your boyfriend?”

You try not to react to his question. Slowly, you shake your head. 

“Do you still love him?”

You don’t want to anger Hoseok. In a way you did love him - you assumed the love was reciprocated. In hindsight, you should have known the love he had for someone he considered a friend would be stronger.

“It would gather suspicion if my brother, sister and I survived this and then he died, don’t you think?” 

Hoseok hums. Your words don’t go unnoticed by him - you were trying to keep your sister alive with everything you had in you to offer.

“I suppose you are.”

It’s insane to think Hoseok is a hitman. You would consider such a beauty of a man to be literally anything else - a model or an actor of sorts. You wondered what his partner looked like and if he was just as beautiful.

“I’ve watched you for a long time, Y/N.”

Your hands were becoming sweaty, nervous on where this was going to go with Hoseok. 

“You said you aren’t afraid of me, right?”

You nod your head, but even Hoseok knew this was a lie. You stand before him and it would appear that you were fearless, but your eyes were glossy, having cried all the tears you could. You were shuddering with each breath you took - but you were a determined woman and this is one of the reasons he adored you. You were so selfless in a family full of selfish individuals.

“Okay.” Hoseok grasps the hand from his cheek and presses a firm kiss upon it. “Then there shouldn't be any secrets.”

You’re positive Hoseok can hear your heart quickening.

“I’ve watched you for so long. I’ve been in your home as you slept. While you showered.”

Hoseok’s eyes watch the shock go through your expression, even if you didn’t want to look it. 

“I stayed and viewed the way you’d touch yourself at night. Your moans were so lovely, pure. A raw reaction from someone who thinks they’re alone. But you were almost never alone, Y/N. I always followed you.”

Hoseok’s free hand grabs your waist. He pulls you closer to him and it’s painfully obvious that he’s excited about recanting the times he’s watched you touch yourself.

“But as I watch, Y/N, I think how deep down you knew someone was there. You would always display yourself willingly for me, widen your legs in my direction and put on a show just for me.”

It’s then that you feel Hoseok’s hand glide down and it’s now gripping your ass. 

His words cause you to feel hot - humiliated. The thought of you not being alone while you touched yourself is horrifying enough.

And even more horrifying that his admission causes you to clench your legs.

“I often speculate just how wet you’d be wrapped around my fingers. How you’d taste. Feel.”

Hoseok becomes more touchy, allowing your hand to fall from his cheek so he can bring you even closer to him - how was it possible? You had no idea. 

The room begins to feel ever hotter, Hoseok radiating such warmth. His lips bury between your neck and he leaves open mouth kisses upon it. 

“Would you give me a taste, Y/N?”

You were positive that you’d end up in Hell right alongside Hoseok. Your body shouldn’t be reacting this way to a man that has been hired to kill your family - especially when said man has admitted to stalking you for a good amount of time now. The bodies of your family lay dead and unconscious in the next room - who even knows what Taehyung is doing to your sister now.

“Y-Yes.”

Hoseok chuckles, a dark look in his eyes. He’s quick to push you deeper inside the bathroom and hoist your body so you’re sitting upon the sink. He’s quick to remove your pants, not being gentle in the slightest. 

“Red’s a scandalous color.” Hoseok murmurs, a hand coming out to touch the wet patch right in the center of your panties. “You’re so wet, dripping all over the place. I’m sure I could slide right in now if I wanted to.”

Hoseok slides your panties to the side, his eyes fixed on your clit. You want to cover yourself at how intense his stare was, the hot feeling of embarrassment running rampant through you.

You gasp when Hoseok dives right, his tongue laying flat against your clit. It catches you by surprise even if it shouldn’t have. His tongue flicks your clit hungrily - he’s been waiting for this moment. The countless times he had watched you so closely as you touched yourself, he could only lick his lips and take in the moment. 

Now, Hoseok could revel in the fact that he had you right where he wanted you. 

Hoseok lifts his lips from your lips to spit upon your clit before diving back in. He suckles upon your clit, his hands pushing down onto your thighs.

You bite your lips to dead the moan threatening to release.  Your thighs shake with the forbidden pleasure, your mind going blink. You cannot recall the last time you’ve been eaten out by a man - your (now ex) boyfriend didn’t exactly enjoy doing it.

Hoseok lifts once more, pushing your panties to the side further. His eyes dip up to meet your hooded ones, licking his lips from your sweet taste. 

“How does it feel, Y/N?” Hoseok murmurs his question, hand slapping your clit. You jolt, gasping at the sudden action. “You’re dripping all over the place for me.”

Hoseok slaps your pussy a second time, then a third, then fourth. He doesn’t stop until you’re shuddering beneath him and even wetter than before. It’s sinister to be here beneath him - your sister in the next room bleeding out, brother unconscious and selfish family members deceased. 

“You like what I do to you, don’t you, baby?” Hoseok chuckles, dimples showing and eyes sparkling with lust. He inches his index and middle finger inside of you, thumb pressed against your clit. “You’re not as innocent as I thought, huh?”

Hoseok begins to thrust inside of you. It’s evident now that he was a dominant person - the kind that’s always in charge. He doesn’t give you any mercy, fiercely pumping. 

Hoseok hovers upon you, his eyes bouncing between your dripping pussy to your face. He groans, the idea of ruining you shoots deep within him and down to his core. 

“H-Hoseok, please-”

“Shut up.” Hoseok hisses, voice deepening. He removes his fingers from inside your shortly just to slap your clit once more. You scream out at the loss of pleasure and the sudden sting. Without much warning, he enters his fingers inside of you once more, continuing his hellish pace. “I don’t want to hear you make a sound, Y/N.” Hoseok hisses, leaning down to come face to face with you. “Understood?”

The dominant type was what Hoseok definitely was. At first glance, you would assume he was a nice person. His smile was bright and it reached his eyes, appearing an innocent everyday man. But he was hired to kill your family and now - after doing so - you allowed him between your legs.

You were destined to go to Hell, especially when you nod your head at Hoseok’s command.

You bite your lip and allow whatever moan to subside. Your eyes are fluttering shut, hips jutting. Your head leans back, pussy clenching around Hoseok’s fingers.

“I thought you were going to be a difficult catch.” Hoseok’s breath is hot against your face. “Thought I was going to have to force you to obey me.”

A moan releases from your throat unwillingly and you whimper at the act, knowing that you had gone against Hoseok once more. 

Hoseok hisses, shaking his head. He removes his fingers and a slap rings across the bathroom. You open your eyes to look at him and Hoseok could only chuckle - such eyes filled with lust. You were truly a vixen, the perfect match made for him. 

“Since a whore like you cannot listen.” your eyes watch Hoseok mess with the belt of his pants. You swallow, stomach churning in anticipation. “I’ll have to fuck the submission into you.”

Hoseok’s big, but you don’t have the chance nor time to marvel at the sight of him. He’s already forcing his way inside of you - but you’re so wet that it isn’t an issue entering.

Hoseok’s hands slap against your lips, roughly pushing you back and against the wall. His eyes, dark and filled with lust, bore into your own. He begins to thrust, pace fast and brutal. 

“I though…fuck - that I’d have to force you to obey me.” Hoseok continues his speech. You can hear his clear as day, even with his grunts and the sound of wet skin slapping together.

“But you were a good little whore for me, Y/N. You did obey me.” 

You could only swallow, breathing intensified. 

“Just how,” Hoseok groans deeply, eyes blinking. You were so tight and wet - clenching around him lovingly. “J-Just how I knew you would.”

Hoseok releases his hand from your lips to clench both of your hips roughly. He continues his pace, eyes fixed on your pussy coating his cock. 

You were going to cum, angered that you couldn’t scream out like you desired. Deep down, however disturbing it was, you enjoyed the control and dominance this man had over you. His hand that once fell over your mouth still feels warm, as if it was still there.

“You’re finally mine, Y/N. All mine.” Hoseok growls, thrusts sloppy. His mind flashes with the many ways he could claim you; control you. “Mine to fuck, mine to pleasure, mine to control.” Hoseok’s fingernails dig into your skin. “You’d like that, huh?”

Your head is nodding, breathing hitching. Your eyes squeeze close and it’s only when your cheeks feel wet do you realize you’re crying. Now you’re sure you’d be humiliated once the deed was done.

“You’re crying.” Hoseom chuckles. He leans down, tongue licking at your tear stained cheeks. “So pretty when you cry. So…so submissive for me.” Hoseok lips trail from your cheeks to your lips. He presses a firm kiss to your lips, hips slowing their pace, but they’re still deep and rough.

You’re cumming, creaming Hoseok’s cock like the submissive girl you were for him - tightening so much so that he can’t help but do the same. His mind flashes - he can’t wait until he has you in all the ways he wants. Tied up, begging for him. Maybe even he’d allow you to take control some days - he wanted it all.

“What is he doing to her?” your sister asks Taehyung, bullet wound wrapped. She leans against the wall of the kitchen. “This wasn’t part of the plan.”

Taehyung doesn’t respond, only glancing the girl's way and snickering. The mask lays on the ground and he’s checking his watch upon his wrist.

Taehyung himself was growing impatient, having accompanied Hoseok to this job. It was about three months prior that Hoseok had come to him about the job. He had stated that he followed a girl - you - for nearly a year at that point. He spoke of you fondly, called you pretty and stated that you were different from your sister and the rest of the family. 

“Can you not hear me talking to you?” your sister hisses, clenching her fists. “I’m paying good fucking money-”

“You haven’t paid us fully yet.” Taehyung interrupts, voice deep and laced with annoyances. “Don’t think we haven’t done our own research.”

Your sister gulps.

Every hitmen had their own desired price, Hoseok splitting the large amount with him. Half was due up front and the other would be due after the deed is done - Taehyung knows well enough that your sister was broke. Her husband had gone bankrupt and seemingly all she had left was a wealthy last name with no money to show for it.

However, killing your entire family and you being the sole survivor would garner her a large sum of inheritance and fame. She once bragged that she could even write a book about the situation - being the sole survivor of a hit put out on her family. She even instructed them to make sure she was hurt in the process.

“I just want to make sure everything happens smoothly.” your sister murmurs, eyes glancing away. 

“Putting a hit on your entire family isn’t exactly something that can go smoothly.”

Your sister whips her head around to Taehyung, but her eyes meet yours. You appeared disheveled, hair a mess and eyes puffy. “Y/N-”

“You did this?” you murmured to her, Hoseok behind you. Taehyung, another beautiful man just as Hoseok, but you had no time to dwell, stood against the nearest wall.

“Why isn’t she dead?” your sister avoids your eyes and screams directly to Hoseok. Her voice cracks. “I-I..we had an agreement.”

“I may be a hitman, but I still have morals.” Hoseok responds. “If the people you want dead do not deserve death, then who am I to give it?”

Your sister shakes her head. She inhales deeply. “That’s not what we agreed on.”

You swallow, throat tight. It begins to ache and your vision turns blurry. Your heart aches just as your throat. The hit that was put out against your family was not one from a wronged employee, or someone that you barely knew. It came from inside the home. 

You and your sister had your own differences, but you would have never thought life would become like this.

“I thought you were dying.” you blinked away, voice dangerously low. “I was willing…” you scoff. It didn’t matter what you were willing to do to help your sister because in the end, you were never intended to get this far. If it was any other hitman besides Hoseok, you would have surely been dead. “...I gave myself to the hitman you hired in hopes he’d keep you alive.”

Your sister doesn’t meet your eyes - she refuses to. 

The thought of your younger brother being dead crosses your mind and fist clenches. 

“I want you to have the final decision if she lives or dies.”

Hoseok’s voice booms behind you. For a second, it was as if time stood still. Your eyes bore into your sister, and only now did she meet your eyes. 

“W-What?” your sister's voice drops and she attempts to step closer, but it’s Taehyung that raises his gun does she stop. 

 Your sister catches the way Hoseok’s hands land upon your shoulders, gently rubbing. She shakes her head. 

You don’t speak at first, eyes looking straight at your sister. It was her turn to cry, whimpering softly. This wasn’t part of her plan - she never intended on any survivors but her. You’re unsure how she planned for everything to come together - would she grieve you and your family? If so, would it be a genuine sadness or a fabricated one?

“My brother,” you say, head only turning slightly towards Hoseok. “would not be harmed?”

“You have my word.” Hoseok repeats the same sentence as he did in the bathroom. “You and him would always be safe.”

You inhale.

You never would have thought you’d be in a situation such as this - but how could you forgive her? Can you just let her go and come together a month from now at another family dinner? The thought alone was comical - what would stop her from just trying to kill you herself?

“How would my brother and I not be caught in this mess?”

Your sister clasps her hand over her mouth, holding in a whimper.

“Leave it to me, baby.” Hoseok squeezes your shoulders. “I’ll take care of everything.”

You take your eyes off of your sister and turn fully to Hoseok. He offers you a smile - a kind and genuine one. His eyes were warm and for a moment, you actually felt safe. As insane as it was, you believed his words. 

“Kill her.” you say to him. “I have to go check on my brother.”

You already told yourself you were going to Hell for what you’ve allowed Hoseok to do to you in the bathroom, but you solidified it as you strolled out of the kitchen, ignoring the cries of your sister followed by a loud gunshot.

[mandowifey]

i just read your miguel o’hara fic and it’s beautiful.

so i found out that when he bites his prey, his fangs have paralyzing venom and i was thinking about him being obsessed with reader who tries to ignore him, but eventually he becomes impatient and uses his venom on them and all they can do is moan and take him (with a sprinkle of breeding kink🤭).

sorry if this is too much and makes you uncomfy

WAH, thank you so much! ���️

(Breeding kink is my fave kink, Id never be uncomfy) I've wanted to write this for him since learning about it, it's so...hot, HAHA.

P.s: this turned into arguably the longest Miguel x reader fic I have ever done 💀

× × ×

Dominion

Miguel O'hara x Fem!Reader

This is part of a nonlinear storyline.

Warnings; NSFW, extreme noncon/dubcon (reader is paralyzed from Miguel's bite), dark!Miguel, stalker!Miguel, PiV sex, unsafe sex, oral (f receiving), breeding kink, praise, taunting, general bad themes. Reader is a virgin in this.

× × ×

When Spider-man saved a bus full of children on a collapsing bridge, the world cheered. What the news outlets and fanatics fail to see are the people who are not rescued. Your family had been on the bi-monthly trip down state when the bridge had been attacked. They were one of the cars that went down with the initial rubble. There was no big heroic moment, no surprise rescue, or hero swooping in the last minute to save them all. On that day, you lost everyone you ever cared about and came to hate Spider-man.

Miguel O'hara understood a lot of things about this world. In fact, he understood a lot of things about a lot of worlds. There was synchronicity between the universes, such as Spider-man being the hero and getting the girl. What he failed to understand was how he couldn't get you.

It was a Thursday evening, and he was fighting Rhino in the open street. As the leader of the Spider-Society, Miguel didn't often get to run around and handle crime. Seeing an opportunity to release some frustration and get some air, he'd left Jess in charge to patrol the city. Cue, the bad guy showing up and their all-out, property destroying brawl. During the back and forth with his opponent, Rhino had picked up a small car above his head and chucked it. When Miguel dodged, the car hit the road, rolled, then skidded into a light pole as the engine burst into flames.

As he turned to lunge, he heard you.

Screaming, inside that car.

Duty to civilians was more important than apprehending a criminal. Still, he hesitated before, inevitably snarling and prowling towards the car. With his strength, Miguel lifted and shoved the pole to the side before he walked around to the front. Inside the glass was you. Small compared to him, bloodied from the glass and impact but still shouting. What confused him was the way your fearful expression twisted into a look of pure disdain once you two spotted each other. Regardless, he'd broken the windshield and pulled you out.

"You alright?"

Nothing.

Not a word.

As you wipe glass from your clothes, the masked crusader lingered in your presence, perturbed. Miguel did not do this for 'thank yous' and pats on the back for a job well done. He did it because, as a hero, it was the right thing to do. Certainly enough, people in the world hated him, and he could accept that. When you looked up at him finally, blood had run trails down your forehead and cheeks, painting you like some warrior of the macabre. The man wonders if the head injury had affected your brain.

"Go sit down, an ambulance is sure to be here."

Silence.

Miguel catches your eyes as they glint beneath flickering street lamps. There is something about the way you look at him that unsettles him. You stare at him as though you are judging his soul, like you could possibly know the wrongs he's done and lives he's lost. Anger blossoms within his chest, and he feels his muscles tense. This was not something he experienced around most citizens. After what feels like a decade passes between you, your eyes lower, and you turn away. Standing and watching, Miguel observes your limp as you hobble towards the sidewalk and sit.

Left to stand amidst the ruins of his run-in with Rhino, O'hara draws in a steady breath. Lyla pings, showing him the location of the villain, and he sets off to track him down. He found himself distracted by thoughts of you that night. Those burning, scornful eyes and those lips that pressed so tightly together.

The thoughts of you did not stop there.

Days of obsessing turned into weeks. Miguel had pulled your information from the local PD database and had started stalking you shortly after. He had learned your routines, your job, and where you liked to go out to eat with friends. You weren't busy during the work week and usually spent the weekends catching up on chores or TV shows. His favorite was perching in your fire escape and watching you do laundry. You were beautiful, oblivious too, and he liked that.

You two had a close call when he decided to get brave.

It was a late Saturday, and you had run out to the store last minute for some missing ingredients. Miguel had been watching your evening unfold and followed not far behind, even going as far as to track you inside the grocery. Mask-less, he loitered around shelves just in view and watched as you hurried around to grab eggs and flour. An older woman had pulled his attention, asking him if he could retrieve something from a high shelf for her. Though reluctant, he'd obliged, which had cost him his line of sight on you.

Urgently rounding a corner to attempt to locate you, Miguel hadn't been paying attention. Fate made you turn the same isle, and if not for his inhuman reflexes, you two would have collided. He stops himself just before impact and steps back while you gasp and touch your chest from being startled. "Sorry," you mutter, not bringing your eyes up to look at him. Miguel doesn't say anything as you skirt around him in a rush. He was frozen, having been so close to you and nearly caught in the act. You hadn't realized who he was and what he was doing, and that thrilled him.

After that day, Miguel decided he could wait no longer.

The next Friday, you were returning home from a late night at work. Clothes disheveled and eyes heavy, you fumbled to get your door unlocked and stepped into the dark. Before your fingers could brush the light switch, something hit you from the side and clapped over your mouth. You're aware of being attacked, and while your screams are muffled, you flail and kick and thrash, throwing your weight around to try and make it difficult for your assailant. His grip is like iron, and you hear him laugh, his breath fanning your neck. A drag of something warm and wet along your throat made you tense, and you scream suddenly as your flesh is punctured by teeth.

Miguel moans at the burst of blood across his tongue. You taste sweeter than he could have imagined, and he relishes your flavor. Closing his eyes, he releases his venom into your body while holding you into him. Your thrashing continued, even while the paralyzing agent pumped through your veins. He knew it wouldn't take long and indulged himself by withdrawing his teeth and sucking at the puncture holes they left. Blood smears across his lips, and he groans again, lapping at you like a starving animal. Miguel had imagined what you'd taste like, and this exceeded all expectations.

As you fell limp, Miguel licked his lips clean and scooped you into his strong arms. He'd been inside your home before, while you were asleep or away with work. Carrying you to the bedroom, he nudged the door open with his foot and placed you on top of your bed. Your eyes were closed, having fallen unconscious not long after he injected you. The man takes his time, propping your head up and removing your clothes until you are left in nothing but a tank top and underwear. Admiring his work, Miguel smiles to himself and steps away to give you time to wake up. He wanted you conscious for this.

When you woke, you were aware immediately that something was wrong. Your eyes stared across your room, darting around in your skull as the memory of being attacked came back to you. As you tried to sit up, you found that you couldn't. You utter a soft whimper, trying once again to raise your arms, but they only twitched and remained flat on the bed. Heart starting to pound, you look around and try to rationalize. This had to have been a bad dream, and you were stuck in some sort of sleep paralysis. Your eyes closed, and you drew in a shaking breath, telling yourself that if you fell asleep, it would be okay.

Everything was dark, save for the stripes of moonlight that stretched across your bedroom. Your door, wide open like a gaping, black mouth, and your closet door sealed shut. You felt unease build as you forced your eyes to the bedroom door again, then gasped. Red dots hovered six feet off the ground in the hallway. Transfixed, you didn't dare blink as the dots grew in size, coming towards you.

This had to be a dream.

This could not be real.

Slowly, a man emerges from the doorway and stops at the edge of your bed. His eyes red like coals, shoulders broad, and hips tapered. He was tall, brooding, and looked very real. The two of you stare at one another, unblinking. After a moment, his eyes lose their color, and his stoic demeanor breaks. Miguel was giddy. He couldn't deny it. A perfectly healthy young woman with a scent that told him you two were a perfect match genetically. He couldn't have been luckier.

A sound builds in your chest. You would be screaming if your mouth could move. The man before you raises his brows and smiles. "I wouldn't try it," He hums, "You're going to be like this for another couple hours. There is no need to panic. It will wear off and you'll be just fine." Lifting his large hands, he brings them to his chest. "I must say I'm a little offended. I knew certain folks didn't like me, but it appears you might even hate me." Miguel smirks into his words, giving you a glimpse of his fangs.

"I went through your phone." He tacked on. "I know it's rude, but I wanted to know you a little better. Y/N, works downtown, lost your family in a tragic incident where I couldn't save the day." His clothes rippled with light and slowly peeled away until he stood only in boxer shorts.

Horror seeps into your bones, and you cry. Tears dribble down your temples as you lay there at his mercy. Lips quivering, you try again to speak, but no words come. It slowly dawned on you that he had told you indirectly who he was. What happened to Spider-Man being the good guy? Nausea creeps inside your guts, a cold rush of dread rising under your skin. It shouldn't be possible, it shouldn't be real, but there he was.

Miguel wore a smile. He could observe the gears churning in your brain while you fought your own body. The smell of your feel was palpable to him, causing his other instincts to shudder. It had taken every ounce of strength not to feed on you, and now, with you limp and pliant, he could feel that familiar itch prickling up his spine. Luckily for you, he'd taken his injection not long before arriving in your home. With the other half tempered, Miguel had all the time in the world.

“Of all the people to be in their car that night, it just had to be you.”

Your fingers twitch as your brain screams. No matter how hard you tried or how loud your voice was in your head, your body was not listening. Helplessly watching him climb onto the bed above you, you close your eyes. Miguel sits back on his legs and places a large, warm hand on your shin.

“I guess fate always has a way of working out.” he prompted, pushing his fingers over your knee and gradually along your thigh. Your skin crawls, itching under his touch. You wanted nothing more than to break away and kick him for touching you. Miguel can sense it, his lips twitching in an impish smile. He could tell from your scent alone how afraid you were.

“I’m sure this isn’t how every girl imagines their first time going,” He continues, and your eyes fly open. Staring up at him, the color drains from your face and your heart begins to quicken. “Yeah, I figured.” Miguel hums impassively as his other hand touches your opposite leg and pushes it open. His dark eyes focused on the apex of your thighs. “But don’t worry, above all else I am still a gentleman.” Flashing his teeth, Miguel curls his fingers under your knees and folds you in half. The sudden movement makes you grunt and whine. “I’m going to take good care of you, princess.” You catch him as he winks before dropping his head down.

Miguel draws a slow breath above your cunt, savoring the heady aroma of your sex. As his mouth watered, he places a soft kiss at the tip of your crease over your panties. He hums and licks a slow stripe over you, drooling into the fabric as he caught the faintest taste of your pussy. “Just as I’d hoped,” he purrs.

You were revulsed, your eyes blurry with tears as you lay helplessly below him. Your body was betraying you now, and you could feel your clit engorging with blood from arousal and knew you were beginning to leak. Miguel knew too, and he places a series of firm kisses over your covered folds before turning his head and nipping at the fat of your inner thigh.

“Just relax and enjoy yourself. Most guys I know don’t even bother with this part.”

You can feel the fabric being pulled, then torn. It was an effortless motion on his behalf, using his claws to assist in shredding the unnecessary material. With your soft cunt now exposed, Miguel sighs, his breath fanning over you. He mumbles praise in Spanish, something you don’t recognize, before he delves in. Pushing the thick tip of his tongue forward, he prods your opening before shoving inside.

A cry smothered in your chest, feeling heat rising in your face. You hated him. You hated this, but your body wasn’t cooperating with you. Miguel moans, fucking the appendage inside your heat before suddenly lapping up your cunt in quick, successive motions. The flat of his tongue drags over your swollen clit and makes you squeak.

As you crumble, he latches his mouth around the sensitive bud at the peak of your folds and begins to suck gently. His attention to detail and willingness to make you feel good had you rising against your will. Your chest heaves again, another pitiful mewl trickling from your lips as he assaults your virgin cunt. Miguel was grinding against your blankets now, the bulge in his boxers painful.

Your scent had his blood pumping and desire growing. The fact that he would be laying claim to you first thrilled him enough to bring him to leak. As eager as he was, he kept his patience with working your body, wanting to see you fall apart under him knowing the man you spent years hating had made you cum.

Soft puling cries wept from your parted lips, your eyes closed in denial. You were being pushed closer towards the edge. The suction from his lips around your clit was perfect and he pulsed gentle sucks against it. Occasionally, you’d feel the press of his tongue on the underside of it, applying light pressure while his mouth continued to suckle you. Your clit was fully engorged now, and while you couldn’t move your thighs trembled as you grew closer. It was sick, degrading even, that you would ever cum from something like this. Miguel hears you gasp quietly, and he withdraws his lips to instead lap firmly at you with the flat of his tongue. Fast, firm licks that slipped over the sensitive bud that sent jolts through your abdomen and up your spine.

The venom rendered your mind in a haze, forcing you to live consciously aware of every grueling moment. Each lash of his tongue or rumble from his throat sending you hurtling towards your peak. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, yet your body paid your mind no heed. When his tongue rolled over your engorged clit, and was followed by a gentle suck, you fell. Even with the intensity of your orgasm, the most your body could do was tense its muscles. A cry squeaks out, along with a series of sharp, mewling gasps as you tremble and seize under him. Miguel laps you lazily now, vermillion eyes staring up at you between your legs. He had done it.

Now certain he had done his part in satisfying you, Miguel lifts and crawls up your body, peppering swift kisses to your skin as he goes. He hesitated, tugging your bra down your ribs to expose you to him. The words ‘please stop’ built in your throat, yet died on your tongue. You can only watch as his eyes grow heavy and his head drops to your breast. His tongue rolls over your nipples, causing them to pebble. Miguel’s spit goes from warm, to cold, shocking your skin and making you whine again. The worst part of it all was how good he managed to make you feel. You were aghast at the fact you had just cum for this lunatic, and hated the fact he acted like he knew your body, able to apply licks and kisses in places you weren’t aware that you liked.

After he satisfied his desire for your breasts, he kisses your collar and up your throat. Miguel is going slow on purpose; you know that now. He was relishing in the control he had over you, knowing that you wanted nothing more than to tell him to go to hell. Now hovering over your own, Miguel ghosts his lips against yours. “You’ve been such a good girl for me.” He purrs. “You sound so pretty when you cum, princess.” The smile that follows his filth tugs your stomach and fills you with embarrassment. Noticing your tears, Miguel tuts and kisses your forehead. “No need to cry, this part is easy. I’ll make sure to start slow.” The way you whimpered made the devil in him purr.

Miguel takes your legs and parts them as he sits back against his own. He enjoys the view of your spread form while he removes his boxers and tosses them on the floor. From the angle, you can see the spring of his cock. Fear makes you go cold at the sight. He was long, thick, bigger than anything you’d seen before. For a moment, you wonder if it were going to fit at all. Miguel closes a fist around his base and strokes himself twice as he lines up against you. “Big breath, kiddo.”

You realized too late that his venom that left you paralyzed had also weakened your muscles. When you tried to clench and fight his insertion, your body did nothing more than twitch. Smiling, Miguel nudges the fat, weeping tip of his cock into you and he grunts. “Dios-“he sighs, biting his lip while he trained his eyes in the spot you two connected.

“Look at you, taking me so well.” There is a flash of teeth as he edges himself inside. The stretch is excruciating, especially for your first time. Miguel’s cock was relentlessly thick, filling you to a capacity you didn’t know you had. Hearing the curling whimpers in your chest, he stops and looks down at you thoughtfully. “Almost there, you’re doing great.” You feel revulsed when he winks at you.

The venom kept your body relaxed, making it easier for him to violate you. As he eases inside, you see stars as he presses somewhere deep within you. Miguel’s pubic bone pushes against your swollen clit as he bottoms out, groaning salaciously at the squeeze of your cunt around him. His large hands find their way onto the back of your knees, and he guides one of your legs over his broad shoulder.

“I bet you thought it wouldn’t fit,” he taunts, smiling and biting his lip as he begins to slowly draw back. Miguel’s cock grinds every nerve in your canal, setting fireworks off beneath your skin and making you shriek and grunt in the back of your throat. You hated how full he made you feel.

With a firm jut of his hips, Miguel sinks inside of you and groans as your pelvises collide. He curses again, repeating the motion before lowering himself to cage your body under his own. “Take it,” He gasps, his head dropping to your neck. His breath pants across your skin, warming you further as he drives his cock home. The man begins to rabbit himself inside of you, using your pussy as he saw fit and throwing any concern for your lack of experience to the wind. It didn’t matter that you hadn’t had time to properly stretch, you were his now and meant to be taken. “G-good girl,” he pants, licking over the bruising bite mark he left on the nape of your neck. “S-so s-shocking good.” He laughs dryly, biting you once more without penetrating your skin. Pain blooms in your shoulder and you whine, your eyes closing as you see spots.

Miguel’s pace is relentless. He pounds into you with reckless abandon, bouncing your smaller body repeatedly up the bed and making your shitty mattress creak noisily. It felt as though the air was being forcefully shoved from your lungs, his cock spearing inside with such strength you think he may break your pelvis. The worst was the way he praised you, rumbling as you took him, calling you his good girl over and over. You were rising again, once more against your will as your attacker defiled you.

“That’s it, t-that’s it.” He gasps. Miguel was coming closer to the edge with each thrust, knowing he’d never be the same after this night; after finding you. He whimpers against your throat, the sound pathetic for a man with his strength. You see stars as he ruts sloppily, his thrusts uneven as he came apart above you. Ramming his cock to the root, the man shudders and growls, his muscle rippling as his cock throbbed and began to empty. The hot, heavy spurts of cum impacting and oozing against your cervix, coating your insides. While he slowed, his stomach pressed and ground just right against your clit, making you whimper much quieter this time. You throb, your eyes rolling back in your skull as you flutter and squeeze weakly around him. Miguel grunts again, then smiles impishly against your throat.

“Not so bad for a first time, huh?”

Sitting up, Miguel pecks a kiss to your lips before sitting back on his legs and casting his attention downwards. He watched as he began to withdraw from you, his cock coated in your joined fluids. There was a deeply sickening tremor of satisfaction as he watched his cum begin to dribble out. A part of him hoped his seed would take; he was certain you’d be just as beautiful with your belly swollen. You keep your eyes closed, not wanting to see his face. At least, you reason, it was over, and he would leave, and you could try to pick the pieces of yourself back up.

Miguel hummed, slipping off the bed and pulling on his boxers as he steals a look around your room. Once dressed, his suit reformed around his body in a glimmer of hard light. All but his mask. “Alright, let’s get you dressed and ready for the trip home.” Ice floods your veins and the nausea returned. Your eyes open and try to focus on him as the room begins to spin. “What? You thought this was just some random encounter?” His lips stretch into a smile as he holds his hands out. “First of all, I’m hurt, secondly, I’m going to try really hard to pack you some of your favorite stuff, I’ll supplement anything else you need.” Miguel hums as he walks to your closet in search of luggage containers.

Tears streak from your eyes and obscure your vision again. Your chest was so tight you felt certain you were going to break. He packs things for you while you panic, wanting to sob and beg him to leave, to apologize and tell him you were wrong about Spiderman. A sob escapes you as your chest shakes, your eyes closing again as you weep. Your body was sore, filled to the brim with this man’s fluids, and you knew you’d never be clean or safe again. Miguel glances at you from over his shoulder and smiles anyways.

You would learn to love him.

He just knew it.

[scarletvanfleet]

Jake makes up his mind about something life changing for the both of you.

Pairings: Jake Kiszka x Reader

Word count: 3.8k ish

Read on A03!

Warnings: P in V Sex, Breeding Kink, Pregnancy Kink, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Cum Swapping & Cum Play (mild).

18+ ONLY MINORS GO AWAY!

Thank you to my besties for supporting me with this fic. I've wanted to write it for so long.

Jake was always so meticulous with his planning, though he was almost never on time for anything. He knew he needed to be on time for this though, so he sat down with his phone in hand and began to document the last period he remembered you having. He remembered it being a particularly difficult one for you and how you'd begged him for some relief from it. How you had said you would give anything to have some extended relief from the monthly horror. He was surprised that when he googled how far out the ovulation window was, that today was falling in the first 24-48 hours of your fertility window. He smiled to himself and closed out of the app on his phone.

It was time to get to work.

~

You had mentioned to him before how much you wanted kids and were ready for them. Your subtle (or not so subtle) hints seemingly falling on deaf ears. He had somewhat brushed it off and you took that as him just not being ready. So you just didn't bring it up again.

When you walked into the house that evening you could tell something was up. The house was completely spotless and smelled wonderful. The lights were turned down low and there was a vase of beautiful red roses waiting for you on the counter. You smiled and wondered what he was up to. But before you could even put your keys down, he was up behind you pressing kisses to your neck and rubbing his palms over your lower stomach and hips.

"Well hello to you too" you said, a light giggle coming out of your mouth.

"Hello my love." He whispered into your ear before kissing the shell and taking your lobe between his teeth and suckling on it. You felt the rush of warmth between your legs as he sucked.

"What's gotten into you today?" You ask as you turn in his arms to face him.

"Well, I've just been thinking." He says, looking down into your beautiful eyes.

"Oh yeah? About what?" You smile as you take one of the three buttons that are done up on his shirt into your fingers and begin pulling them apart.

"About you." He says simply, reaching up to stroke your cheekbone.

"Me? What about me?" You inquire further.

"Why don't we take this to our room and I can do a little show and tell for you" He whispers and then rubs his nose up the bridge of your own before kissing you lightly on the lips.

You nod and he releases you from his arms. You turn and walk down the hallway to your shared room and gasp at the beautiful candle lit room with more bouquets of roses and some petals strewn across the bed spread. You giggle a little at the classic display of romance and you just know this is no regular session of making love with Jake. Something is definitely up. He’s never done something like this before.

"Jake?" You ask as you sense his presence behind you.

"Yeah babe?" He responds, reaching out to grab your hips again.

"You gonna tell me what's going on?"

"Why don't we get you a little more comfortable and I can tell you while I undress you?" He says, already reaching around for the button of your pants.

"Hmm.. Okay." You smirk as he begins to work at the button before it pops open and he slides the zipper down. Soon his hands are back at your hips and pushing the fabric down your legs. He gets them to the floor before helping you step out of them completely. He then stands and pulls your shirt off over your head.

"So fucking pretty for me." He says as he eyes your matching set, which you're not glad you'd slipped on this morning even though you had no idea this was coming. "Tell me baby. How have you been feeling today?" He asks as he looks down at you.

"Fine, why?" You respond. Looking at him curiously.

"Not feeling moody, or crampy. Maybe a little sore in the chest?" He inquires, running his fingers over your chest and stomach.

You thought back on your day and remembered the light cramping you felt along with being just a little more snappy than usual. You'd chalked it up to hormones and pushed it aside in your mind.

"Hmm. Maybe a little crampy and kinda moody I guess." You shrugged. Wondering where this conversation was going as he continued to trace shapes into your skin.

"I see. You look a little flushed too. Have you been like that all day?" He asked and your brow furrowed.

"I guess? Jake, are you going to tell me what this is all about?" Your curiosity was killing you at this point and this line of questioning was driving you nuts.

"Well honey. I was thinking… and I believe I'm ready now." He responded. Leaning forward to kiss your forehead.

"Ready for what Jake?" You asked, your brows knitting together.

"I'm ready to put a baby in you." He said simply. Looking deep into your eyes.

Shock washed over your body immediately and your eyes went wide in realization.

"Wh... What?" You blinked.

"You heard me. It's time. If that's something you still want, that is." He seemed nervous now, concerned that you might reject the offer.

"Fuck Jake. Of course it is." You confirmed, reaching out to grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him in close for a deep kiss. He grabbed the sides of your face and pulled you in closer as he ran the tip of his tongue across your bottom lip, begging for entry which you granted quickly.

The kiss heated up rather fast and before you could control it, your hands were at his belt, pulling it open and then diving for the button below. You popped it open and unzipped his jeans before sliding them down along with his boxers.

He broke from the kiss momentarily to pull his shirt the rest of the way from his body and throw it to the floor.

You noticed the flush across his cheeks and collar bone. Something that normally only happened when he was nervous. It was then that you also noticed the slight shake in his hands.

"Baby, are you nervous?" You ask, taking his hand in yours and bringing it to your lips.

"Yeah a little.” he confirmed.

" It's just me, baby. No need to be nervous."* You tell him. Kissing him on the lips once more.

" I know it's just..." He cut himself off

"Just what?" You pushed.

"You're ovulating. This could really happen tonight. " He smiles, placing one hand over your womb.

"Is that what all those questions were about?" You giggle.

"Yeah. I've kind of tracked your cycle." He confesses.

Your heart races at the words. He'd planned this.

"You really want this?" You ask quietly.

"More than anything. " He responds.

You smile and push him backwards towards the bed, and then encourage him to get on top of it.

"I want to spoil you." He says as he ignores your encouragement. He pats the bed gently and you laugh but do as he's instructing.

You crawl into the middle of the bed amongst the rose petals and lay down on your back.

"So perfect." He says as he joins you and begins rubbing circles into your thighs.

"So a baby huh?" You ask as you reach down to pull him up next to you so you can kiss him.

"Please?" He begs as he leans himself down to press a kiss first to your sternum and then lower until he is hovering over your belly.

"You don't have to beg baby. I'll give you what you want. You know I will." You run your hand through his hair.

He smiles and places another kiss even lower and continues until he is hovering over your clothed core. He places one more kiss to the center and begins peeling down your underwear. He does so slowly before flinging them across the room with a smile.

He settles back down between your legs and lays his tongue flat to lick up your slit. You shudder at the feeling of him as he completes that pattern a couple more times before licking back up and circling around your clit. He continues to circle it before taking it completely into his mouth and sucking gently. You gasp and you can feel the shake of his shoulders as he giggles. He releases the bud from his mouth and then uses his pointed tongue to quickly kitten lick at it. He moves it so quickly it feels like he's using a vibe on you and you can feel your toes curling at the sensation.

"Fuck, Jake" you breathe, feeling your wetness begin to leak out onto the bed. You can feel him smile before he's reaching around your legs and pulling them open wider. He glances up at you once, his hungry eyes full of lust, and he's flattening out his tongue again and thrashing his head side to side against you. You moan loudly at the feeling and reach down to grab at his hair. He grunts as your fist clenches and then you hear him growl. He moves his arms and grabs you by the backs of your thighs and forces your legs back. He instructs you to hold them up by the backs of your knees and makes his way back down to your dripping heat.

This time he licks against your entrance and then plunges his tongue in as deep as he can. He begins to fuck you with his tongue rapidly and then reaches a hand up to rub circles into your clit with his thumb. You feel yourself clench around the muscle as the warmth in your belly begins to spread and intensify. You cry out his name as he continues to fuck you with his tongue and soon you can sense the incoming orgasm as it begins to turn itself into a knot in your tummy. But it's not enough. You need more.

"Fuck Jake, more. More please." You beg and he retracts his tongue and quickly replaces it with his middle and ring finger, fucking them into you and curling them into your g-spot. The slight sting of the sudden intrusion of two digits thrusts you closer to the edge and you're teetering right there. So close. He can tell by the way you're fluttering around his fingers that you're close, so he continues working his fingers in and then leans down to suction your clit in his lips again. It tastes mere seconds and you're coming down around him, feeling the gush of your orgasm as it soaks his fingers. Your breathing is wild as he works you through it

He's smiling widely as he withdraws his soaked fingers from you, only to pop them in his mouth and revel in your taste once more.

"Fuck you taste so good baby." He says once they're sufficiently clean. "Are you ready or would you like a break?" He asks gently, stroking your thighs as they come to rest on either side of him.

You can see now how hard he is, his cock standing at attention and precum making a mess of the tip. You suddenly feel a rush of anxiety as you realize you've never taken him like this. He picks up on the change immediately and leans forward to kiss your forehead.

"Is everything okay baby? Did you change your mind?" He asks as he tries to calm you.

"No. No. I want this. I'm okay. I just.. We've never... Without a condom." You explain.

He smiles and places another kiss on your forehead. "It's gonna be okay love. We can go slow. It's going to be different for me too."

You nod and wrap your arms around his neck to pull him down on top of you. His body adds the needed pressure to calm your anxiety and you begin to push your hips up against his and rut his cock against your bare slit. He lets out a whine as he feels your slick warmth under him for the first time.

He then begins to grind against you, adding some much needed pressure to the equation. "You feel so good already." He huffs.

"So do you. Fuck baby. I need to feel you against me. Take this thing off of me." You say as you begin to grab at the straps of your bra. He smiles and says "Of course" before reaching under you and releasing the clasp. He then pulls the material off of you leaving you completely bare.

He traces a nipple with his finger and waits until it hardens before doing the same to the other. He then kitten licks at the bud before taking it into his mouth and sucking on it. He hums around your nipple and then pops off after a few minutes.

"Fuck baby." He says, examining your breasts. "I can't wait until you're pregnant and these get even bigger and so full of milk.”

He sighs as he continues to admire them. You whimper and press your hips back up against him, causing him to slide through your wetness once more.

"I'm ready Jake. Please." You tell him, raking your hands through his hair again.

He smiles and kisses you before reaching down to line himself up. He slips in easily and you can feel yourself clench up around him as you feel him bare for the first time. "Fuck Jake, Fuck. You feel so good. Keep going please." You encourage as he had stalled after just the tip to take some deep breaths of his own.

"Okay. Okay. " He nods and shifts his hips forward until they're flush against yours. You sigh in relief as you feel so full of him, his naked heat within your own.

"C-Can I move?" He asks hesitantly. Wanting to give you enough time to fully adjust.

"Please? I want it so bad." You tell him. Wriggling underneath him slightly.

He nods and begins to pull out to the tip before sliding back in. He presses hard against you when he's fully sheathed, nudging his tip right against your cervix and making you gasp.

He smiles and repeats the action before starting up a rhythm. Its slow and steady as you realize he isn't going to be fucking you this evening. He's making slow, sweet love to you in a way that was so different from any other time before.

You look up into his beautiful dark chocolate colored eyes and whisper "I love you". He smiles and says it back.

You love the feeling of him sliding into you and you can feel as the pleasure begins to rise within you, threatening to come down against him at any moment. "I'm gonna cum Jake. I want you to cum with me."

"Fuck okay." He says as he begins to pick up his pace. You can feel when his hips begin to stutter out of rhythm. "Cum for me baby." He says, reaching down to place a hand over your womb again and you can feel him moving within you with the added pressure.

White noise begins to fill your ears as your orgasm begins to crest and you feel your back arching up off the bed. He reaches down with his hand that isn't holding your womb and squeezes your hip tight as he pushes in deeply until he’s right against your cervix again. You feel the warmth of his cum as it coats you and makes you shiver. He continues to push his cum into you until he physically cannot anymore and he's whispering to you "That's it. That's it. Take it all. Take it and make me a baby my love."

You watch his face as he looks down at you, so full of love with his cheeks flushed so beautifully.

"I will. I will. I promise." You tell him and he lights up with the most gorgeous smile.

"I know. I believe in you." He responds before carefully slipping out.

He looks down to where he had just been connected with you, and sees a small amount of creamy leakage from where he pulled out. He quickly takes two fingers and swipes through it before pushing it back into your entrance.

"Gotta keep it all in baby. Can't waste a single drop." He smiles and then pulls his fingers out, only to again pop them into his mouth to clean off.

His eyes roll back at the combined taste. "We taste so good together, my sweet." He says before leaning down to kiss you. You're eager for a taste so you lick into his mouth and suck on his tongue. You hum at the salty sweet taste.

"We do.” you agree.

He smiles again and gets off of the bed to retrieve a towel from the bathroom and comes back to gently wipe you down.

"You did so well." He praises as he leans down to kiss your belly again. "My baby is going to be in there soon. I just know it."

 

And he was right.

 

It was a mere six weeks after that night that you started feeling a heaviness in your chest, and when you brought a hand to your breasts you could feel the tenderness. At first you thought maybe it was period symptoms and ignored it. But when you checked your app you noticed your on time cycle was late. A shock ran through your body as you sat with your phone in hand, examining the calendar for the fifth time. Finally you swallowed hard and got up to grab your keys from the table. Jake wasn’t home yet so you didn’t have to worry about him inquiring as to where you were going. You slid into your car and headed for the pharmacy down the street.

As soon as you were inside you were overwhelmed with the options of tests available to you. You looked them all over before choosing the most recognizable brand with a digital screen and early detection. You didn’t want to do any guess work. As you turned around from the tests, you saw the wall of baby supplies. Your heart leapt in your chest as you thought over the possibility. You hurried to check out and bought the test before heading back to your home.

Jake was still not home and you debated waiting until he was. You turned the thought over in your mind as you unlocked the door and went inside. You set the test on the island and went to your room to put your shoes away and take off your annoying bra as it compressed your breasts uncomfortably.

As you were in your room you heard the front door open and Jake stepped into the house. Your anxiety peaked as you heard him walk towards the kitchen and stop abruptly. You could hear the rustle of the bag from the pharmacy as his curiosity got the best of him.

“Babe?” He called out into the house.

“Uh…Yeah? I’m in the bedroom.” You yelled out to him.

You could hear the click of his boots against the wood floor as he walked down the hall and into the room.

“Babe.” He said again, causing you to turn around and look at him as he held the box of tests in his hands. “You think you’re pregnant?” He asked cautiously.

“I mean… Yeah…Maybe.” You said coyly.

He took a deep breath and you saw his eyes well with tears. “Baby. Why didn't you tell me?" He asked as he stepped forward to scoop you into his arms.

“I…I just noticed the soreness this morning, and I-I'm late.” You explained as he kissed your cheeks.

"You should definitely take this then. Do you want to do it now?” He asked, looking into your eyes.

"I can, yeah. Uhm.. Stay here. I'll go do it and we can wait together. Okay?” You asked him.

"Yes, definitely.” He smiled and released you from his hold and gave you the box.

You nodded and walked to your bathroom and shut the door. You read the instructions just to be safe, and then took the test. You capped the test and placed it face down on the sink as you finished up and went to wash your hands.

You opened the door to the bathroom and found Jake sitting on the bed waiting nervously, biting at the cuticle of his finger.

“About 3 more minutes and we can look. Are you okay?" You ask him.

"Yeah I'm just nervous. I kind of didn't expect it to happen so quickly. Even though I'm excited too.” He smiled, reaching out to you. You stepped into his grasp and he pulled you in tight to his chest. You flinched at the pressure against your chest causing a sharp pain.

“Ow" you said, pulling away slightly.

“I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to hurt you. Are you okay?" He asked, his brows tinting with concern.

“I'm okay. Just my boobs are really sore." You whined, raising your hands to them and gently massaging. He smiled at you and you raised a brow. “What Jake?” You asked.

" I just can't wait to see how big they get.” He giggles.

" Oh you dog. Come on, let's check this thing.” You grabbed his hand and you both walked to the sink. " You do it.” You tell him, squeezing his hand gently.

He nods and grabs the test off the sink and lifts it up so he can read it.

Pregnant

He gasps and drops the test into the basin before grabbing you up into another tight hug.

“You're pregnant… You're going to have my baby.” He says quietly and you feel a slight wetness on your face. You look up and see tears trailing from his eyes and falling onto his cheeks.

" Oh my love. You're crying?” You ask, concerned about his reaction as he normally never cries.

" I'm just so happy. I'm going to be a Dad.” He chuckles and reaches a hand down to cover your stomach. "Our baby is in there. Right now. I just-” he sobs and fresh tears cascade over his face.

"Oh Jake. You're going to be the best Dad.” You tell him, squeezing him tightly around the waist.

“Thank you baby." He kisses your lips gently and continues to hold you a while longer.

Fin.

[mystycalypso]

God I kinda feel bad for tinybuild

Don't get me wrong, I'm as hyped and ready for season 2 to drop as everyone else, but the spam of comments they get on every video and post asking- no, demanding a release date and just being rude about is so uncool. To the point where the other half of the comments are people complaining about the former.

Tinybuild is a publisher, they gather multiple development teams together, giving them budgets to fund new projects and things like that. To pretend Welcome to Ravenbrooks or Hello Neighbor as a whole is the only important project they have is so mean not only to them as a publisher but to the dev teams under their umbrella.

Their other games are so fun and wonderful and seeing new projects from them is so nice, heck my dad has Playstation premium and one of the free monthly games is Totally Reliable Delivery Service, and god is it just so fun. Me and him spent several hours just fucking around and trying to deliver a fish to a ferris wheel simply because it made us laugh.

Do I believe the problem people are here on Tumblr? Not really, no, like I've kinda said before, the youtube side of the fandom just seems to be- problem children (I could say that about a lot of fandoms ngl-) but, idk, I know there's not much that can be done about it, but it just sort of frustrates me.

And in the kindest way, I'd just like to remind everyone to be patient and kind while waiting for season 2. I know the initial goal was early 2024 but animation is hard, and given that if TinyBuild had gone bankrupt we wouldn't have gotten any season 2 at all, I'm willing to wait as long as it'll take. Just from the teasers and clips we've seen I know it'll be great.

It's kinda like the Spiderverse franchise, sure at the time was I hyped for a summer 2024 release? Yeah, but I will happily wait for something they think is their best product.

[gb-patch]

[The beautiful guest art piece is by allie_ozS on Twitter]

Welcome to 2023 everybody ✨!!!

We’ve got Baxter, Tamarack, and Qiu to celebrate with us. It is their year, after all.

It's always an exciting time thinking about everything that could happen over the course of a new year. Our Life: Beginnings & Always will at long last get its final DLC and Our Life: Now & Forever will be the major project in development. That's amazing. 

Speaking of, there are two major launches planned for 2023 at GB Patch Games.

Our Life: Beginnings & Always – Baxter’s Story DLC

Second Quarter (April-June)

Our Life: Now & Forever Demo Expansion + Crowdfunding Launch

Third Quarter (July-September)

And those happen to be all the goals I’m setting for 2023. We're keeping it simple, haha. I usually love to plan out as many milestones as I can, and it never works out as intended. Because of that I'm sticking to only the most central production points for the official goals.

But that’s not to say there won’t be anything else to look forward to over these next twelve months, it’ll just be a surprise for you, and me, what ends up actually happening.

For one example, it was mentioned in the year review post that right now the Google Playstore releases are on hold until an error is fixed in the engine we use. There is a chance we’ll be able to start putting games on that storefront in 2023, but it can’t be guaranteed or given a specific date.

And another consideration is that with Our Life: Now & Forever coming to the forefront of development, I'll want to have something else on the backburner. As excited as I am for the game, I couldn't only work on OL2 until it's complete. At least part of my efforts this year will be going into creating another piece of content. But I don't know exactly which, or if it'll only be one thing. There are multiple options. One of these days there might be some interesting previews appearing on the Patreon, and then later on the public social media as well.

▴ ▾ ▴ ▾ ▴ ▾ ▴ ▾ ▴ ▾ ▴ ▾ ▴ ▾ ▴ ▾ ▴ ▾ ▴ ▾ ▴ ▾ ▴ ▾▴ ▾ ▴ ▾ ▴ ▾

Along with these year-long goals, I’ve noted the usual monthly plans in the full post HERE.

And with the updating done, I wanna give all my appreciation to our players! I'm able to go into 2023 knowing with total certainty that I can spend this year working on developing our projects. GB Patch Games has gotten so much support from people who love the Our Life series, and our older games too. It's absolutely wonderful, and I never want to take it for granted. For however many more years I'm around to do this, I'll do my best to make all your kindness and encouragement worth the while.

Thank you again for coming here to see how things are going! I hope we'll all have a wonderful 2023 💕. 

Discord -  Twitter - Website - Patreon

[fghuntforthecrystals]

Monthly Update #4 March 2024

So, the past month has certainly been a productive one for the Fool's Dev team since we last posted one of these. We've been hard at work on the game. Overall, the demo release is around 80% complete as of now. We have most of the coding and gameplay down pat, it's simply a matter of finishing the last stretch of the project in terms of artwork, some design, and playtesting. Of course, the playtest will be mostly done by the lovely Fool's Gold fandom. Speaking of the playtest/demo release, I have worked on the beginnings of the Foolsdev Itch.io page for our release. We don't exactly have a release date for the demo yet, but you can expect it to come in the not-so-near-but-not-so-far future. The full product will not be released until the full Fool's Gold series has been finished which could be another two years from now depending on how much is left. We've piddle-paddled ideas for a early access model where each arc is it's own updated version of the game that includes patches bundled in to fix previous arcs, but nothing concrete has been established yet. As always, we like to leave some teasers of stuff, so have this portrait of Xanu done by our wonderful @alynwrench as well as our new logo also done by Alyn!

-Tenmei

[not-poignant]

hi pia i just wanted to respond to what you said in your tags about the burnout w chronic illness. and i dont mean to condescend or blame but i think your burnout came about because you are an absolute beast of a writer!!!!! the amount of words you were pushing out consistently had me wondering what kind of spell you must’ve been on. (in a good way, except it turned out to be harming you) you worked really really hard for a long time, i think harder than many healthy people even (my chronic illness could never). i know you also enjoyed writing (we enjoyed it too!), but that workload honestly never looked sustainable. the astounding part is not that you burned out, but that you managed to push for so long, despite your handicaps and hardships. want to be careful not to sound like im praising/blaming you. but you’re really just build different than a lot of folks. i hope you had time to recharge so far and keep taking it easy. i do miss your updates but i can assure you im fine waiting, as are your other readers! its really okay! get better soon 💐🐀💓

Hi anon,

This is very kind of you to say, but tbh, I don't think many people know how much some writers can, well, write.

I might seem like an over-achiever, but there are writers out there who easily write around 6000-10000 words per day, and release a book per month. I have met successful authors who aim for 150k or 200k at NaNo, because 50,000 words is 5 days of work to them.

It's hard for me to comprehend, because I know I can't do that. But likewise, I think many folks don't realise that I actually used to write a lot more than I do now!! For some years it was normal for me to write 50-80,000 words every single month. NaNo was a joke. That caused burnout, and so I adjusted down to a 25,000 minimum monthly wordcount which sometimes felt so easy that it was absurd. I now have a maximum which I have to adhere to per month (50k), because it's too easy to go past it.

For me, writing is relatively easy. It's still work, yes. I still need to put time into it. But I don't need to put in the same amount of time as someone who hasn't done it for thousands and thousands of hours. I don't need to put in the same amount of time as someone who can only touch type at 80 wpm, when I touch type at 120-150 wpm.

The amount of stories is an issue, and the number of chapter updates is an issue, but the actual output re: words themselves really isn't. In fact I've written more words this month than I did last month already, and will very likely hit my monthly minimum with the next chapter.

The things that contributed to my burnout are multifaceted. Getting a puppy. A death in the family. Not having access to the mental health drugs I need to function for a long period of time. Friendship disintegration. These things can cause burnout in anyone, even if they are working very sustainably, because they all require separate labour on top of the labour that someone is doing for their job.

When I come back from hiatus, I will not be writing less. I don't believe the wordcount is the issue and haven't for a long time. I will be scheduling out less chapters, because admin is overwhelming to me. If you told me that my job wasn't writing anymore, but I had to schedule + figure out when to post twice as many chapters, I'd fail, lmao.

So I will be addressing admin stuff! But the amount of words I was pushing out, anon, was completely sustainable, and in fact a highly reduced number compared to what I was pushing out 6/7 years ago. Anon, I have been pushing out this many words or more for 5 years without stopping until now. It's felt comfortable. It's been so much less than what I used to make myself write.

So yeah, again, it can be hard for people who don't do this professionally to imagine writing at this level. And all professionals are different. I couldn't write 150k for NaNoWriMo, but the people writing 100k a month find that extremely easy to do. How I feel about their output - that it's impossible (because it is for me) is not how they feel about their output. For them writing 50k a month to make it easy might be extremely laughable to them, like, 5 days of work and then they get 25 days off. That's sometimes how I've felt about 25k (though it's more like 10 days of work to me - which is great, because I have chronic illness lol, so I need a lot of rest days and periods).

The amount of words I was pushing out consistently will be the amount I go back to because that is truly the most sustainable part of my job. I don't expect folks who haven't plugged in as many hours into writing, and who haven't written millions of words to understand, but the fact is the more you do something, the faster you get at it. The more practice you have, the more competent you become.

That was actually how I knew the burnout was so bad, because the easiest part of my job - the words + the writing - was impossible last month, and I only ended up with 14k for the first time in 5 years, and had to make a call.

The reason the hiatus is so frustrating is that so much of it is being caused by external factors, and not actually the job itself. Like yes, I am working on too many stories, and I can address that, but I was actually doing much higher wordcounts when I was working on less stories.

It's all the extra stuff that becomes very overwhelming! But I'll get there anon, and my wordcounts aren't going anywhere.

[morningstargirl666]

When is The Big Bad Wolf Act 2 coming out?? Are you going to release monthly or all at once?? (I just finished the series and I’m in love 🩷🩷 no rush to write, just wondering if you have an idea because you have loyal readers waiting to love it!!! Have a great day <3)

Hello! Lovely to meet you and thank you so much for reading, that fic is a BEAST. So glad you enjoyed it!

So. When is the next update coming out? [nervous laughter]

Thing is, I told myself now I'm halfway i'll go back and edit, smooth things out before this fic literally becomes too long to tackle and that kinda...turned into a full rewrite?

I'm not changing the plot. That's exactly the same. But my ideas for the lore have changed since I first started writing and I wanted to add in a whole lot more of characterisation and set up for the chapters to come. I rewrote The Little Wolf back in December and recently did some tweaking to chapter 5 of it just this last week (I couldn't work out how to fix it when I first did the rewrite but I had an EPHIPHANY okay). So The Little Wolf is around 35k now, which is a huge difference to the 11k it was in November when I posted chapter 35 of tbbw. It's got tons of new scenes, a sharper forcus on the Mikaelson siblings not just Klaus and two whole new chapters. Of course, you've probably already read that as it is posted and you're a new reader, but that's what I was doing before Christmas, essentially.

As for The Big Bad Wolf itself...boy, where do I start. I'm approaching 85k on the rewrite...only on chapter 7. Which technically used to be chapter 6, because I got 5 chapters in before I added a new chapter. I guess that's a record for my restraint, at least.

So, in terms of what's happening: I'm re-writing tbbw. The plot isn't changing, but new scenes are being added, conversations are being tweaked, the lore is being more consistently fleshed out. Grammar for dialogue is being given a complete overhaul because that was a mess. But. Listen. It's so much better. It's so fucking better. I re-read the chapters I've done and in some places, the drafts aren't quite finished yet, like my writer brain is like fix this later BUT omg it's like, THE shit. It's so good. I've very excited.

I'm not sure how long it will take to finish. I might be able to stop halfway and post the rewritten/edited chapters I've got so far but I make no promises because I feel more inclined to keep going and get it all done in one. Some chapters won't need much work at all as they've been more heavily edited in the past (chapter 8 and 9 should be done pretty quickly, just giving them a facelift), while others I'm really ripping into. There's one chapter I know I'll either delete or delete scenes from to be replaced with something else (don't worry, the scenes will go into my deleted scenes fic on ao3, it's not gone forever).

So yeah. At the rate I'm going, I'm not gonna lie, it may take till the summer before I get all this editing done AND finish the new chapter 36 update - and you may get two new chapters at once, because it might be a long one and I might split it. But by the end of it, tbbw won't be 378k anymore. It'll probably be closer 450k. So you'll get a 50k+ update (along with some bonus stuff) to the whole fic and then a week later I'll post the new chapters (I used to post fornightly, a chapter every two weeks, and I'll go back to that when I'm done).

But yeah. I've written like, 110k since December, which for context is is closing in on the equivalent of the second book of TLOTR trilogy: The Return of the King was 137,115 words. That's an epic novel's worth. In three months.

An arguement could be made that I'm making this fic way too long but I don't really care? I love writing this. It makes my head spin and makes me tear my hair out but...it's so much fun too. And I get to rewrite canon, the way it should have been (we were so ROBBED 😭😭😭), so hey! It's free therapy too! I'm not going to stop as long as I'm loving every second.

Thanks for reading, and thank for listening to my insane plans! Hopefully, I'll see you there on ao3 when this fic is back for business!!

-And it WILL be back.

[literally-online]

Hello! Today marks the release of a new musical project I've been working on for the past month or so: Sleep Buddy! Ambient music to help you focus or just get some sleep.

Available now on Spotify and Apple Music!

You can read more about where the project came from below:

After dropping out of college, joining a band, moving in with the band, watching the band fall apart, and then subsequently finding myself with an increasing amount of pent-up musically creative energy, I decided I wanted to make something of my own.

I was also about five years deep into a stint of severe insomnia — from my first year of high school onward I generally only slept about an hour or two each night. After my friends would fall asleep and there was nobody left awake to play games with or text or talk to on the phone, I'd spend the quietest hours of my evenings teaching myself how to produce music.

The blend of these two issues manifested itself into a love of producing and listening to ambient music, and I set out with the goal of creating an album that would help me fall asleep each night. It was freeing to break away from the verse-chorus song structure I'd become so acclimated to, allowing myself to let long droning synths reverberate for hours into the night or searching for field recordings of windy plains or rainy farmhouses to see how I could incorporate the sounds of nature into my compositions. I'd write a song, load it onto my iPod, hop into my car, and cruise around empty New Jersey streets to hear how it worked as a soundtrack for the drive. In the span of about three weeks, I'd finished and released my first solo album under the artist name Boqeh: Halcyon.

Halcyon saw the beginning of a new habit: Almost every single day I'd open up my laptop and throw some nice sounding synths and chords together and let them loop endlessly while I worked on other tasks. Usually these project files would get deleted at the end of the day, but every once in a while they'd be saved and fleshed out into a full track for a hypothetical future album release. My next few ambient albums as Boqeh all followed that same songwriting process, but I eventually got more into the habit of deleting files than saving them. Slowly but surely, I stopped releasing music altogether as my career and other creative endeavors took center stage in my life.

Although I grew into the habit of deleting my daily project files, I never kicked the habit of starting a new one almost every morning. In 2018 while discussing the rise of ten-hour relaxation YouTube videos and 24/7 lofi hip-hop beats streams with a friend, I wondered aloud why I wasn't using the huge volume of music I was creating and disposing of daily to do something similar.

It's taken ten years since the release of Halcyon for me to feel confident enough to make it happen, but I'm finally done erasing the work I create.

Enter Sleep Buddy.

Sleep Buddy is both a new project and revitalization of the intention behind Halcyon — albums of carefully crafted and original ambient music with the goal of helping listeners fall asleep or relax while working on other tasks. Today marks the release of the first album: Intro.

Intro is a thesis statement. Available as a ten hour YouTube video (of course), on Bandcamp, or through your favorite streaming service like Apple Music or Spotify, it contains just under two hours of original ambient music covering a wide variety of ideas I plan on drilling further into for future releases. Almost the entirety of the album was written and produced over three weeks in January of this year, and in the time it has taken to distribute Intro to music platforms, I have already finished a followup for release sometime next month. If all goes well, expect a new Sleep Buddy release monthly in 2023.

In the meantime I hope you'll give this first album a listen, and if you do I hope it helps you relax.

You deserve it.

Head to sleepbuddy.online for more. <3

[popculturebuffet]

Monthly Muppet Madness: Muppets Mayhem

Hello all you happy muppets. For those of you new to this feature, i'm jake I review stuff and once a month I tackle all things muppets, from the troupe themselves to the various hensony spinoffs from Jim Henson and later Henson Workshop. If it has a muppet or something close to a muppet in it, it can go here. This marks a very special occasion for this feature as Muppets Mayhem is the first new Muppet project since I started doing this last march. It's also one I was entirely pumped for not just because I'd get to cover it whenever it dropped, but also for starring the electric mayhem, characters i've always liked and felt could front their own series.

It's also exciting as this is the first time in nearly a decade Disney has done a major muppets production. After the underperformance of Muppets Most Wanted and the quick cancelation of their sitcom, Disney has less cherished the muppets as anyone should and more.. trotted them out once every few years to do something with the property while not actually carring enough to do a new film or tv series and blaming the property itself for the fincial failures of Muppets Most Wanted and The Muppets... and not the fact the former was simply released against a pretty stacked theater and had a very diffrent (if still wonderful) tone from it's beloved predecessor, while the latter had a troubled production and while far from perfect had some good stuff in it.

Disney took a few setbacks as a sign that the muppets were done.. instead of a sign that maybe they just needed a new direction. Steve Whitmire's firing due to his increasing ego and Matt Vogel's rough go when he started as Kermit (not helped by not having the traning period whitmire did), really didn't help, but Disney didn't have a huge excuse. The Muppet Babies reboot happened and having watched some with my toddler nephew recently, it was pretty good, but as far as big mainstream attempts at reinviorating the muppets , Disney really didn't seem to give one iota of a shit and trotted them out for smaller projects like Muppets Now or the Muppets Haunted Mansion.

Disney Fucking up really isn't a suprise, especially given their recent debacle of removing a lot of disney+ shows including the muppet based earth to ned, which i'll be covering in july because fuck this decision entirely.

My point is, besides Disney can go eat a shoe sometimes, is that the Muppets really needed a full blown shot again and to try something new, something they'd adapted to. And Mayhem, for all it's faults.. is a good test of that: deciding to focus not on the core quartet of Kermit, Piggy, Gonzo and Fozzie, but on the wacky hippies on the side. It's honestly a brilliant idea to step away from the core cast for a sec and simply see if the various other weridos int he troupe could carry a story on their own. And Electric Mayhem are custom built for this test run: they provide an ensemble, so they don't have to explain why this set of muppets are off on their own adventure, one of their number is still one of THE most recognizable muppets, meaning they still get name recongition, and it leaves the creative team with a bunch of characters who while not BLANK slates, are still not as fleshed out enough to really get into.

So is this a great new direction for the muppets that will lead into a shared muppets universe as showrunner Adam F Goldberg hopes for.. or another horrible setback at a time when it's the last thing the muppets need? Hop in the van, and cruise with me under the cut as we find out.

So before we can get into the Mayhem themselves, let's get into the man

Let Me Take Your Picture, Add It to the Mixture. The genisis of this series is simple but fascinating: So in 2016. Bill Baretta, longtime muppet performer and the hand behind Dr. Teeth, was naturally there when the Mayhem did a set at the Outside LImits Music and Arts Festival. Baretta was stunned by the massive crowd.. and got to thinking, wondering just who these guys were outside of it and decided to start developing a series on the idea.

In true muppets fashion though.. he wasn't the only person to have the idea, as around the same time, Adam F. Goldberg's friend, editor Jeff Yorkes, cut him a sizzle real to sell him on the same idea. For those less familiar wtih him, Adam F. Goldberg was the creator of the long running 80's set sitcom the Goldbergs, and as happens often once he left the show hit it's seasonal rot HARD.

How both sides came together is unknown, my best guess being Disney realized they had two similar and awesome pitches for a show with the same concept in an IP they were barely using, so simply got the three together, the three gelling as they all had the same basic vision and simply used parts from both pitches to create the final show, with the same basic core of taking these obscure hippiees and fleshing them out. Part of the appeal for Goldberg, and something I strongly agree with is while the characters were known, there was just little enough known about who they were as people to give them wiggle room to develop.

And you can see a lot of The Goldbergs in Muppets Mayhem: it follows a cartoonish mildly disfunctional family, has schemes by one of the character whose a control freak usually cause the conlfict, and usually ends in a character developing button. And this could've been a disaster.. but the style does fit the muppets really well. The Mayhem are a family of choice, Nora works well in the beverley roll, more on her later, and while it has a bit of a formula to it, the episodes are still flexbile so that while most of the story is focused on the main plot of the band making an album, it uses it in a lot of creative ways: we see the band deal with electronic producing, accidently piss off every fan army on the globe, go for a marshmellow hallucination in the desert, save dr. teeth from his overbearing parents, do a documentary with Silent Bob, meet cheech and chong, paint danny trejo's house, nearly fall off a cliff and somehow record an album. Despite it's short run time the season goes a lot of intresting places and manages to expand the characters. It's clear while Goldberg has a style to his work that will likely carry to any future productions it doesn't really hamper a muppet production, and his , yorkes and of course baretta's clear love for the characters shows in tons of carefully picked archive footage and little continuity nods, from the mallory gallery to what have. you. There's even tiny bits of canon welding, with the band both apparently having beef with the river bottom nightmare band.. and having met the feebles.. which is now muppets canon. I didn't think anyone could top James Gunn making gobots canon to the mcu, but clearly I underestimated. The background does have it's drawbacks though: It's clear none of the three involved have really done a stremaing series , and as such ther'es a lot of little network watermarks, like uncessary cast photos and act breaks, sprinnkled throughout, things not really needed in a streaming series. There's also some bigger problems with the human cast but we'll save that for later. By now your all probably wondering what's this series even about? Okay most of you have probably binged the whole thing especially given how late after the series this is comign out. but bear with me

Use it If You Need It, Don't Forget To Feed It

The plot kicks off with the Band away from the rest of the muppets for a change, in the middle of a tour that's been going for the last 40 years ever since their Debut on the muppet show. It's a nice joke.. and also one that works well as given how loosey goosey the Mayhem are with anything resembling a plan, it makes sense they'd consider hanging out in a house with everyone else or working on miss piggy's show as her house band just part of a tour. It also points to another reason the Mayhem were a very easy fit to have their own show: it's not hard to explain why their not with everyone else. While chunks of the troupe have moonlighted, Bobo was an evil sidekick, Sam a government agent, as needed for the plot, with the Mayhem being musicians and party members them simply wondering off for a while makes sense. Kermit is probably so used to it he has a backup band on standby.

Enter Nora Singh, played by Lily Singh, youtuber i'm not familiar with turned failed talk show host and now turned actress, a struggling assitant for Waxtown Records, once the height of the industry now about to close because it's head Penny wants to retire and is convinced the place is dead. While there are sadly no muppet skeletons this time, Penny herself IS a muppet, something I was glad ot hear: given this series only really has the Mayhem and two guest characters otherwise, I assumed Penny would be a human when I first heard about the character and the reveal in the first episode was all too welcome. She's played by Leslie Carrara-Rudolph, best known muppet wise as Abby Kadabby over on seasame street, which should tell you just how deep her range is. With Penny planning to shut down she has Nora shred all their old documents.. and it's there she gets her shot, as not only was Waxtown Electric Mayhem's label.. but their infamous in universe for never having done an album. It's also a nice bit of metatext as while they've done a decent amount of music, until there hadn't been a real life electic mayhem album, such a slam dunk marketing wise it's weird they never did it. As for why not in universe it's simple: They thought they had and simply forgot to. As the series establishes, and fits perfectly with what little we knew about them, they just sorta move from one thing to another on a whim, agree to most things. Their friendly and upbeat.. but getting them to actually stay on task is a challenge, something I deeply relate to as this coming out almost 20 days after the show came out can attest to. Even once that's in hand Nora still has a season's worth of problems both the bands and her own, as her sense of what a band needs to be to be profitable clashes with what the band is. Since the band is too nice to course correct her most of the time, a lot of this is left to Moog, the band's number one fan. Moog is played by former child star Taj Moowry and serves as the bridge between the band and nora: as their fan, he can explain a lot of intricacises about the band to our heroine and us in the audience, while also having a better grasp on who they are. If you've gussed a large chunk of the series is Nora ignoring Moog's entirely sound advice about how the band works, your right and it's only kept from being too tiring because we usually move on to the band doing something funny and Mowry's impressive comedic timing.

When not being her own worst enemy Nora has to deal with her more succesful sister Haanah Singh (Saara Chaundry), and her obnoxious wallpaper of an ex boyfriend JJ, who is trying to buy the record company and succeding at trying my patience every time he's on screen despite Anders Holm's best effort. The Mayhem, Hannah and Moog included over time, have to deal with all this and more, from their own personal demons, to trying to update the sound, to documentaries to Dr. Teeth's parents to the most amecae band breakup in history to Janice accidently starting a cult it's a long strange journey.. and now we have context for that journey we can dive into the meat of it: the muppets and all too many live action people and the plentifu and welcome cameos. Everybody's Lover, Everybody's Brother, I Wanna Be Your LIfetime Friend:

Now we've got context for them we can stage dive into our moshpit of a cast... and who better to start with than our headliners. The Electric Mayhem are awesome as hoped. The series was always going to live or die on if these 6 weirdos could be fleshed out enoguh comedically and emotoinally to carry a whole series, possibly whole seasons. While the series has other characters and almost all of them contribute to the story in some needed way, it was always going to be about these 6 weirdos and getting to know them better. The series really lets you get them to know them as much as a group as people. While they always had an air of being peace loving accepting hippie folk, the series simply takes that basic and gives them a fully fleshed out identity as a group and as people. In this case the Mayhem are accepting, warmly welcoming anyone to work with them, and gladly up to try anything wether it be edm or playing a concert in minecraft. It may not work but they'll at least try it. It also shows they , like many a muppet, are incredibly unfocused, running off to do a party or what have you when they get distracted. They can rock well together, but it takes some outside force to wrangle them. It's telling only Nora, who NEEDS this job tow ork and Kermit, whose simply used to doing this kind of shit with every singl eperson he works with bar scooter, are the only ones who've actually succeeded at getting them on task. And Nora often stumbles simply because of the size of the task. Not everyone is Kermit levels of able to take this and i'm pretty sure he's on like 9 types of anxiety medication with them only SLIGHTLY working.

What makes them work is their kindness: the only time they really get mad is when Nora , trying to fake it till she makes it, lies a bunch and triggers Janice's lie allergy. How she hasn't died with all the lies FOzzy and Sam tell themselves just to function is a mystery, but it's a neat enough bit. Only putting one of their own in the hosptial pisses them off and even then once Nora pours her heart out to the band and genuinely apologizes, they quickly forgive her. It's their endless optimism that drives the series, Nora's own development, and makes the series shine despite it's faults; Just a group of people who love those around them, will help anyone without a care and will genuinely not worry.

The last part holds them back. The only time they really fight with each other is episode 7, and for understandable reasons; Floyd is upset to find out a song he thought as he and janices was about how she loves the world, which is mildly dickish but understandable when you find someone you loved and assumed you were in a realtionship with dosen't seem to care at all back, while the band as a whole aren't happy Dr. Teeth took Penny, his girlfriend at the time's , suggestion to name the band after him. It's also telling that not only did Teeth never consider himself front man despite this, but once he realizes it's an actual problem, agrees to change it to just the electric mayhem. These guys.. are family. 6 very diffrent people who found each other somehow and who will gladly welcome anyone else in. While nora takes a while to bond with her new friends and soon surrogate family, they all welcome her from minute one and when Nora ends up homeless thanks to a spat with her sister, they welcome her in. When Moog dosen't understand why he's invited on tour at the end, as while he's become the album's producer, he assumes he'll just be following them as usual, they explain as if it was the most natural thing he's part of the band now. These are kind, loving, warm protaganists who simply live to play musuic, spread good vibes. It takes the good ideas of the 60's peace movement and applies them to today: simply show kindness, welcome people in as family wether your blood related or not, rock out, and do your best. That's all you can ask. I never thought i'd be deeply moved by the electric mayhem, but i'm glad I was. While the band is still mostly a unti, each one still gets fleshed out more. Three of them get full on origin storis Animal get shis first and it's truly touching and fleshes out how Floyd is always taking care of him. What was once more just a weird sort of friendship/beast taming, becomes a father and son, a development I utterly love: As it turns out whatever stygian being birthed animal left him on Floyd's doorstep with a note to KEEP, and Floyd being a kind, welcoming sort, gladly took in the small child and made him his son and adopted him with his commonlaw husband and wife. It also shows that while everyone's worried when Animal, thinking a joke about him being replaced by a drum machine is real, quits, Floyd is devistated and badly just wants his son back.

He may be a loved part of the mayhem and a treasured family member.. but he's Floyd's kid. It's why he's spent years helping him blend with others and keeping him form eating furintirue and why Animal ultimately comes back despite being a great hibachi chef. Floyd also gets some minor spotlight in Dr. Teeth's spotlight episode: when Teeth's domeneering mom and agreeable to said mom dad show up to drag him back for the 80th time we find out Teeth was a meek dental student content to follow his mom.. but meeting Floyd in a music store and then many other times because destiny ships these two as hard as I do, Teeth realizes what makes him actually happy and while he makes his grampy's floss case into a tooth, he ultimately becomes the rock god we know. And while Floyd does have at hing for Janice, the series still makes his and Dr. Teeth's orgiin story as gay as possible in the best way possible, with it being one long allegory for one person awakening anothe'rs sexuality, down to the disaproving parents. The fact the mayhem come off like they'd be very fond of open relationships makes neither this nor Teeth's actual love intrest in the series a problem. While the whole "son has parents who want to shove him into a career" is all too common a story trope.. and a thing that really happens in real life, it works well enough here as Teeth was never in a ton of danger of actually going with them, only breifly doing it when Nora interupts his normal process for this. It's stil lhealthier he finally made amends with his parents, but it works. The more compelling bit of his backstory, beisdes all the shipping in the previous bit, is Penny. Teeth broke her heart leaving a while ago and while they quickly get back together, and we sadly just as quickly find out he has a foot thing... and we see them playing this little piggy on screen

Look am I kink shaming dr. teeth? No. What they want to do to each other is their buisness and the relationship is oddly adorable outside of this scar to my brainpan. But do I want to see a muppets gross foot while Dr. Teeth implies he's going to do sex things to it? No. I'm sure even some foot fetishests would agree. The Dalmationatrix in the happy time murders was less overtly sexual. And also way hotter, but that may be a me thing and may make my point as i'm sure many of you shuddered a bit at that statment. Point is please no more stuff like this adam f goldberg. Implied muppet sex is fine, just don't show us muppet feet. Please no. No feet pics.

I was.. talking about something. Oh yeah. The problem is Teeth left her abrubtly earlier, and he find sout during the groups' marshmellow drug trip in the dessert it's because he has commitment issues, likely DUE to said parents. Penny isn't mad he coudlnt' commit forever, just that he couldn't FOR NOW. , and Teeth realizes this just isn't healthy, not only unblocking him writers wise, but letting him be open with their relationship, which not only gets Penny off the groups back, but onto his and OH GOD....

Okay for my sanity we're moving on to Janice. We get to see more of Janice's empathetic side: while she's still as fursurely as ever, we get to see she loves trying to help other people.. and much like Steven Universe, while this isn't a bad thing on the surface, it also means she never helps herself, something only her hallucination clone can get her to realize. It is nice to see her be so supportive, realize she needs self care, and generally get to be more than just "one of the only other female muppets" and "space case". She also forms a cult when the band gets addicted to the internet. This isn't a plot twist I saw coming but is it the best thing in human history? Probably. Fursurelian for life. Hopefully I will be spared when it happens. Animals as pointed out gets his backstory, and while he has a crush on NOra very early on, he later realizes it's because they both lost parents and becomes more protective. It's adorable. Animal dosen't change much but it makes sense: Out of the mayhem Animal was easily the most used and the one who could easily show up on his own for gags. Animal is often thrown in with the core four and has shown up in just about every muppet production. He's an icon for good reason: his simple antics and shouty performance just make him loveable as all hell. This series further highlights this by making him the mayhem's youngest, esspetainlly being a hyperactive 20 something. It also posititons hima s the heart of the gorup: they can't bring themselves to play when he leaves for an episode and their breakup to make tension for the climax mostly happens because he's too exausted from his side gig to stop it, and once he wakes up and finds noras gone missing he's the one to bring everyone back together. He's the core of the group: he may be the most popular but he wouldn't be without them. They need him and he would never leave them.

Finally we have Zoot and LIps. Zoot is the blue one and Lips is the one with an afro who I frequently forget is in the band because he disappears a lot. Zoot.. really isn't fleshed out that much. He takes photos and he's forgetful. They add nothing to him. He's easily the weakest character here. He does hang out with an anthromoprhic shoe, so there's that at least. In contrast Lips goes from being often wallpaper only there when needed, to quitely one of the best parts of the show. His gags now are that he's unitellgible and despite that has a LENGTHY and epic history. He's the one who convinced Kesha to drop the $.. which also implies he helped her breka free from dr. lukes' abuse. Zoot's a good one. He's also friends with Paul Mcartney and Paula Abdul among many others. It's just a nice gag and he's geninely fun and it's used in moderation enough to not wreck the show. So the band is solid as ever. The human characters.. are a bit more hit and miss. Starting with Nora, Lily Singh does her best, and she does have a nice energy that plays off the muppets well. She's trying very hard and i'd love to see her in another production as she has clear talent. The issue really isn't her.. it's the script. Nora is written however the episode needs her:, and thus is pulled between uptight nerd whose mildly out of touch with music, hence a running gag where she sees the lyrics of rock and roll all night "and part of every day".

Other times she has a deep love of rock, having a bob marely tatoo, well knows the modern scene, and her issues come more from simply not working with what she has in the band, of trying to make them what she THINKS will sell instead of what they are, which is a metaphor for how disney has treated the muppets and many ips at time if ever there was one. The latter just works better, and it's when it dips too far into one end or the other of her being uptight or into rock where it falters and singh can often come off stiff.. because I supsect she really dosen't know what this character feels. If the writers don't know who nora is how can the audience or the person playing her? Nora is supposed to be a major pillar of the series.. but the writers refusal to give her depth despite trying to plaster it on with her having had to raise her sister or her type a personality means the character flails next to the better defined muppets. It also dosen't help her most major human costar.. is given a more consitent and intresting character. Moog is easily the highlight of the show shuman caast, with Taj Mowry given way more to work with. Moog's character isn't super deep, but has just enough depth to work well: he intitially comes off as simply a fanboy, constantly asking Nora to look at his demo like any struggling musician.. but as the episodes go on we get to know him better. We see like any good fan the band mean a ton to him and his friendship with them is genuine: while he's a massive fan of theirs, they treat him with respect like they woudl anyone, gladly bond with him and are thankful he's there for him. IN turn he gets the band in a way Nora dosen't and part of her best moments is having him as contrast: he tells her very early on she simply dosen't have to posture because the band are the most acepting people. His best stuff comes in episode 5: while nora desperatelyt ries to get the band to make a "new sound", he gets angry.. but it's not fan entitlmeent as Nora thinks.. but because he's taken the time to actually listen. He get stheir sound and when nora finally listens to his demo.. she realizes, eventually at least, that his sound actually bridges their 70 vibes to modern production. He has real talent, and a real love for the band. We also get what I feel is one of the best seens for singh as a result: nora pouring over old footage as she goes from someone simply seeing the band as her next step.. to being a mayhead herself and knowing how to finally help them to their best. The show needed more of this, having nora as a symbol of a coprrate present.. and shedding that to be more herself, someone who really knows music and opens up.

Moog does take a hard nosedive in the last few episodes though. It starts to peak through when he gets jealous of Nora's ex jj and tricks him into bringing up the name thing, nearly breaking up the band.. but in the last two it really gets bad. Instead of telling Nora how he feels.. .he sulks in the background as she gets back together with human carpet, then blames her for the band's breakup because... she told them what the internet was. Which is something most acts need to know. They breakup because they all get hooked on various internet based things and because the writers forgot to write an actual reason for conflict and had to make something up fast. The romance with him and nora genuinely isn't bad at first: he has a crush on her, btu refuses to act on it because he needs this gig and she needs this to go well. It's when they make it love triangle stuff and turn him into a mopey dickhead who almost dosen't try to get the band back together till she apologzes, a band full of people who GENUINELY love him and see him as one of them that he genuinely loves and worships. Mowry does his best but like with singh when the material isn't great.. what can he honestly do. If behaviors bad enough an actor can make it hilarous or add a smuch depth as they can. But when all your given is a big spoonful of cliche, you can only do so much. i've hinted at the human embodiment of the color beige enough, let's talk about JJ. JJ is a character I think the right actor could've hammed up enough to be tolerable. Anders Holm by contrast is a guy who tends to paly his roless subtler. As such former bagle boy for waxtown and now rich tech bro is just... annoyingly bland. He shows up to try and buy wax town to win Nora back and just kinda shows up. He adds nothing to the plot. And look i'm someone who tries to not go too hard on actors in these reviews... but you could see the but coming from a mile away couldn't you? Anders Holm.. is awful in this. He tries, he does, but he's horribly cast. JJ needed someone with enough energy to make the bad writing on the character passible, someone who can really nail the "tech bro whose secretly just trying to be one because it's the kind of guy his ex wanted" charcter. Instead he's just the bland romantic false lead from every 90's film and romcom. Singh sometimes has weak material but does her best with it and that I can admire but Holm, even acounting for his character being supleforous at best is just so agressively bland it adds nothing.

What's extra annoying is that Ben Schwartz, who is an EXPERT at playing people with huge egos in suits, it's how his career started.

Is instead left to just one episode working as Animal's job counsler. He's brilliant at it, deadpanning perfectly to Animal.. which begs the question why he wasn't given the part: At the time of this writing he isn't a regular on any live action or animated shows, he's experinced at the part and that small cameo showed he can play really well off the muppet JJ ends up interacting with the most. The result is a character who just sucks all the energy out when he's around. He's ONLY there for a very pointless love triangle no one asked for that goes EXACTLY how you'd expect with no varations toit. The idea they present in episode 7, that JJ became what he is to impress her is intresting.. but they do nothing with it and he spends the whole series as this bland cypher. You question why Nora's remotely intrested beyond "because the plot says she should be", and she suddenly moves back in with him. And he then easily blows it beause he dosen't understand why maybe the person whose dad died and mom impliclty abandoned her would bond with a band whose family. JJ just sucks, and he ends up making Moog suck as Moog spends the last two episodes moping and whining because Nora dosen't like him back when he NEVER TOLD HER. He did for good reason, this is his one shot and opportunity comes once in a life time, but it soon devolves into crap. It's the one part I genuinely hate about the series. Finally human wise we have Nora's sister, Hannah. Hannah is a character that didn't need to be in nearly as much of the series as she did. She's not bad, Saara does a decent enough job and unlike JJ the characters layers are explored well: Hannah took her sister in and let her stay on her couch.. but gets annoyed that her relationship with Nora has turned into all take and no give: Nora brings up raising Hannah after their father died and mother impliclty abandoned them a lot, and tends to put her wants over Hannah's, and is not so subtly jealous Hannah has easily reached what she wants in life, fame as an influencer, while Nora struggles and struggles and is only now getting anywhere. It feels like a real sibling conflict and the two actresses have good chemistry. It's just after Janice patches things up with the two... Hannah is reduced to influencer jokes. Once the series doesn't' really need her instead of writing the character off or finding something for her to do with the album, like I dunno work on costumes since she's shown changing costumes for her videos to pretend to be in fancy locales, or be the team's image consultant, she's just kinda there. While JJ is stapled onto the story to pad time Hannah is weirdly disconnected despite being vital to Nora's character and having plenty of ways she could be woven into it. A triangle between her, Hannah and Moog would've made WAY more sense. Instead Hannah is just there for the rest of the series.

Finally we have Penny. Penny is a great addition, being hilariously curmudgeonly and making a decent antagonist for the first half of the series without being overwrought: she hates the mayhem but doesn't actively impede them as she correctly figures win or loose, she get something out of it: the album actually happens, her protégé gets a win and she gets money. It fails, her ex falls flat on it's face and she just finishes selling the business like she was going to. Her relationship with Dr. Teeth is also genuinely sweet... I still did not need to know.. things, but it is nice and she slowly warms up to Nora, by the end ditching her vacation with Dr. Teeth to go help the band find her and willingly turning the business over to her.

Cameo wise the series is utterly stacked, with my co-pilot for this series, @jess-the-vampire often wondering how they got all these people. As it turned out from an interview most of it was just "Hey you want to be in muppets" "Done" "But I haven't even told you what you'll be doin.." "I SAID DONE". And thankfully for more Muppets tend to cast a wide generational net so there was only a few acts that had me going

Mostly confined to episode 2's cameos for Zedd and Sophia Carson. Otherwise it's filled to the absolute rim with great cameos. So just rattling off my faviorite in no paticular chronological order we have: The aformentioned bit with Ben Schwartz, Kesha showing up to jam with the band when Nora's trying to find someone to produce the album, Danny Trejo showing up in episode one for one of the best bits of the series as the band paints his house thinking it's theres and later warming to them saying "Those guys painted my house. And according to Bill Danny is apparently the easiest cameo to get and it's why he's become a muppet's regular himself at this point and it's easy to see why. Also really game was my boy Kevin Smith, who naturally was more than willing to take shots at himself, refering to himself as a one star director and letting them take a shot at yoga hosers, which I haven't seen, and god willing never will. He even gets to , as Dr. Teeth puts it be "Silent bob saying something meaningful at the end of the film. " We also get a nice Peter Jackson cameo that as I said confirms meet the feebles is canon to the muppets. How Goldberg got away with that I GENINELY have no idea. And in a long overdue team up we get Weird motherfucking Al Motherfucking Yankovic who appears to Floyd to tell him to stop being such a perfectionist.. and to remind him that yes, Al does more than parodies that criticism is fucking old please stop. Other great cameos include James Hong as Dan, the chef who declares Animal the Chosen one, Joe Lo Trugilo as a Mo Cap Maestro the band works with for their minecraft concert, Charlamange Tha God as himself interviewing the band when they have their contrived penultimate episode amicable breakup, Cedric Yarborugh as a cop who pulls the band over for holding up traffic, Tommy Lee as a walking STD, and most entertainingly Jack McBrayer, Rachel Bloom, Riki Lindholme and Nicole Beyer, always a highlight, all showing up as the heads of various fan armies when Dr. Teeth's autocorrect pisses off all of music.

So with that there's one last bit of business.. and frankly if your going to do a show about the world's greatest muppet band.. it's one of the most important

All of Us Are Winnin, Pickin and a Grinnin, Lordy But I Love to Jam The music was always going to be the thing that either made the series or ruined it for me. Can You Picture That? Is one of my faviorite muppet songs, and as the Mayhem's only original song up to this series it left some VERY big shoes to fill. I mean it's hard to go up against music legend paul williams and their VERY lucky Beef wasn't involved or they'd of been screwed.

Luckily Disney brought in someone every bit Paul Williams equal, which is a sentence I rarely get to say: Micheal Gicchano, composer supreme best known for his jazzy as fuck scores for the incredibles, who got the band's style perfectly. With a 70's style groove that perfectly fits the band's vibe and most songs picked being along those lines. Paul Williams would be proud and probably is atop his magical cloud castle. As a result most of the original songs on the soundtrack are damn good and the covers are great. So let's run through them in order of appearance shall we? Rock On is the series theme and at first I wasn't a huge fan mostly because it sounded a lot like a sitcom theme. Eventually though I got over myself and asked the eternal question

It's still one of the weaker tracks as a song but as an opening it sums the band up decently, has a nice beat and is chopped up decently. I realize now they didn't do the obvious and use can you picture that as it's both hard to get to theme song length, and because it's such an icon it'd overshadow everything else. Rock On is a message that this show is still the mayhem but it's something new with them, and it's still damn groovy. Not the best song ever, i've seen better tv theme songs, but a solid enough one that really worms it's way into your brain.

The first song in the show proper, Rock and Roll All nite is a fine enough cover, it's just Dr. Teeth's vocal's weren't quite the best choice for this and they didn't really change the song any to fit his vocals. To contrast this to another mayhem cover, the band did a truly awesome one of Dancin in the Moonlight for Muppets Haunted Mansion. While that song also has a softer vocal track on the original, they balanced it by having Floyd do the voice and leaving Dr. Teeth for the chorus where his croakier style fits better. Neither's vocals are bad, it's just like any band you have to match them to the song or it turns out okay at best.

So i've spent two straight songs complaining, let's get some positivity back in here. The show's version of Can You Picture that is still damn awesome, letting the current performers for the Mayhem (Zoot excepted as he STILL has the same performer) jam to their greatest song. The lyrics are fun, bouncy, and really fit the band. Do they make a lick of sense? not entirely. Are they fun and get across the vibe of a bunch of people making music? Yes.

Finally for episode 1 , we have Have a Little Faith In Me, the joe cocker classic which the band utterly nails and emotionally, shatters me in show as it was the song Nora's dad sang to her.. and the band sing it for her as thanks for giving them a shot. It's a nice moment, her finally convinced to hang in there with them, as she realizes the true magic of the mayhem and Bill Baretta's vocals are absolutely perfect. Unlike Rock N Roll All Night, Teeth's rough vocals PERFECTLY fit this song.

Next we have episode 2's finale true colors, this time lead by Janice who has a shockingly great singing voice and the tenderness of this version really hits as the Band let Nora know she can be herself. It's the heart of these songs that really works: While True Colors has been used 998 times in the history of film and tv, it's used here not because "Well it pulls the heart strings" and more because it naturally fits the moment.. while also doing that previously mentioned thing.

The next song is a bit of a joke, as Zedd makes a song with the mayhem and sofia carson they gave to her. It's funny enough, nothing great music wise, but it's made to be played over the radio and even the album version lasts exactly a minute.

Next is Bridge Over Troubled Water, a song I honestly haven't heard a ton. While I absolutely love Paul Simon, I prefer his post garfunkel works. Especially when they involve muppets.

It perfectly meshes with both the flashback to Animal and Nora turning up to stay with the Mayhem. One of the best tracks on the album.

We have a nice montage of the band trying to do diffrent versions of Rockin Robin. I'm disapointed we never finished Ziggy Marley's but hey, what happened with him and janice. I get it man. I get it.

We get a very nice cover of God Only Knows to show Moog knows what he's doing but what makes it work is it's paried with a truly stiring montage of the mayhem's history as Nora dives into it and finally really gets the band. Truly moving stuff.

Gonna Get There is a decent enough montage song, the first new song from the band in canon. It's pretty okay, mostly saved by the vocals.

Thankfully next episode makes up for it: Capping off what's already one of the best episodes of the season, we've got Gotta Be. Gotta Be has both one of the best performances but also just one of the best beats, being the kind of funky newmanesque groove that really fits the band, sung as Floyd convinces Teeth to be himself. It's one that not only perfectly fits the message of the band, but the uprorarusly joyful performance at the dental confrence is truly great. Baretta and Vogel play off each other perfectly, getting to do a full on deut and it's as awesome as it sounds. It's easily my faviorite song on the soundtrack.

Naturally the only way to follow this up.. is another cover. This time though it's of the freaking beatles, and frankly All You Need Is Love fits the band so perfectly, I don't see what else they could've gone with, especailly after an episode long homage to the documentary get back.

We Are One is another awesome 70's jam band style song, with the gang singing for unity and succesfully uniting the fan armies. It once again let's vogel vocally jam as Floyd, and there's a damn good reason they ping pong between him and Bill or both unite: they both have great vocals, and it gives the band a nice range. It's why the rock and roll all nite cover sticks out: it would've been better in Matt's hands.

So we're to the final episode as the band has seperated, hence no song for episode 9, and our first is the sound of us, another fun jam band style as Animal brings the band back together. It's perfect for a montage but far less bland Gonna Get There.

There's a fun cover of Join Together as they find Nora that once again fits the band. It feels like post poilot Goldberg and co realized what fit the band better and from that point on every song fits their style perfectly.

WE then get to the band's climactic hollywood bowl performance, belivie in us which is just.. beautiful. A joyous, uplifting celebration that fits everything perfectly and is exactly what you'd hope for. A nice power ballad using both baretta and vogel perfectly and incredibly well suited for Baretta's scratchy teeth vocals.

On Our Way is a nice U2 style song to finish out the song as the band sings us out. It's a good way to close the series and it's only real issue is that Janice, Teeth and Floyd's vocals don't really work together for the chorus. Janice might of been better left off the chorus but the bits between it are so well done, it dosen't matter.

Can You Even Find It? So we have one last odd to clean up.. so I guess it's also an end.

I WAS going to do an episode guide like i normally do.. but realized as I went that in addition to this review taking a very long time as is, I had already commented on most episode based things I wanted to as I went. So this section is more just for the bits I haven't talked about. The first is the only muppet characters besides the band and Penny, Dr. Teeth's parents. Their honestly fairly entertaining his mom going a mile a minute and not seeming to get her son is super succesful, as well as her passive agressive hate of floyd ("Maam") before finally coming around to her sons music and sexuality, while her husband always agreeing with a yup while being treated in charge works. I'ts nothing really new, but their in the episode just enough for the gag to not outstay it's welcome.

The second.. is less fun. The last two episodes.. are a complete mess. The episode before this foreshadows it: it's not a bad episode. The simple idea of the band getting online and autocorrect causing them to accidently pick a fight with every fandom in music is comedy gold. It just has some age signs like having a concert in a video game, something that still happens but not nearly as high profile as it once did, and the game being minecraft, which while I havent' played a ton is a game I like and my nephews and nieces adore, is a weird choice and feels like it was the only one that said yes or disney signed off on. I mean I don't want the muppets anywhere near fortnite, but it's not something minecraft's ever done and dosen't feel like enough of a joke to work. Or maybe it's just me

The last two eps though.. are not great. They have great moments and some good gags, but feel contrived: the band get hooked on various side projects. The side projects themselves are mostly entertaining, with only Teeth's (doing a spicy food tasting channel with penny ala hot ones) not really landing: We get Floyd getting hooked on jingle writing and soon having a jingle empire with Kristian Schaal as his assitant in the span of a week, Lips doing a ted talk, which while not the best ted talk gag of all time, this is..

Is still harmless enough, Zoot getting into photography and forgetting nora exists, Animal getting big on tiktok by scratching himself, and my personal faviorite: Janice starts a cult. It starts with just having people follow her, slowly escalates, and she has a full on compound by the time Nora tries to bring her back into the fold.

The problem is it feels like the band breaks up, if as ambicably as expected, simply to have drama. They likewise don't listen to nora or she can't get to them. It feels like padding to get to ten episodes, especially when episode 7 has a far better reason than "because the internet", the name issue, for them to break up. We also get Moog bitching and moaning because nora "broke up the band" because.. she told the mayhem about the internet.

The actual finale at the hollywood bowl is great, as is them coming to get nora, but the road there feels like they ran out of ideas for this seasons overarching plot and just came up with something quick instead of just finding something weird to fill the space instead.

So with that we've come to the end of the road. The Muppets Mayhem is a promising first step for a new era of the muppets: it proves both a muppets production with a reduced cast can work and be pretty awesome, with lots of great gags, fantastic music and a nice heart. It just needs to either flesh out the humans better or focus more on what we came for, and rely less on stock plots the muppets have never really needed to play so straight. Also fire JJ, out of a canon.. into the sun. That'd be great. The pieces for Muppets greatness are there, they just need to get the bugs worked out of the felt. Still after a decade of no major productions, this is a very nice welcome back and hopefully the start of something fresh for the muppets. And I can certainly picture that. Thanks for reading Next Month: Daddy Daddy, take us underground as we're Returning to the Labyrinth!

[nerdygaymormon]

Carving out the life I want - Therapy session 11/7/2023

This past weekend I was spending time with a husband & wife who are friends of mine. She is a nutritionist who is employed by the county to work with people who have eating disorders. What an amazing skill set to have in a friend at this time in my life.

She shared with me that when we feel like we could use a warm hug, chewing soft foods can provide that sort of feeling, especially foods we associate with being cared for or with good times. Or when a person is feeling frustrated or stressed, they choose crunchy foods as crunching down with your jaw can deliver relief, almost like punching a wall when you're angry.

Suddenly I started recognizing how I use different foods. For example, I was at a friend's home and some of my other friends were meeting us there. I felt a lot of anxiety. Would they get along, I have different kinds of relationships with each of them so how can I mesh those together? Plus, they're gay, one attends the LDS church and the other doesn't, so for me it brings up the whole balancing being gay & Mormon, which is the source of a lot of my mental health issues. My nutritionist friend said this feeling of nervous energy is exactly why chomping on potato chips can feel satisfying afterwards.

I also realized there's some foods I only use for the chewing & spitting but not for binging. She said those are likely foods high in sugar, salt and fat, and the chewing of them combined with the mouth feel of them, activates the brain's pleasure centers, even if I'm not actually swallowing them.

Whether I'm feeling the urge to do disordered eating, or even if I'm engaged in that behavior, she suggested I take time to think about what I'm feeling and what situation(s) triggered these feelings.

—————————

I shared with my therapist that a week ago I ate so much food that I was in real discomfort, and as I lay in bed I had the thought that purging would relieve this feeling. I suddenly could see the appeal of bulimia. Trading in one eating disorder for another isn't healthy and isn't my goal but in the moment it seemed like a solution.

I have years of binge eating and also of chewing & spitting. I've been living with these eating disorders for so long that I don't have a good history of listening to and understanding my body and its needs & wants in regard to hunger and food. My drive to eat isn't based on what my body needs, but in response to emotions.

It's been a while since I did the kind of binging where I eat a lot of food very quickly and don't feel in control, and then the next day I can't remember having done that. I used to do that on a daily basis. I still overeat to the point of being uncomfortable, but it's spread over more time and doesn't feel as out of control, and I don't do it every day, so it is progress

—————————

I told the therapist how earlier this year I ran into a former friend of mine. It's been great to reconnect. He left the church, came out as gay, and got married. He has invited me into his friend group which gets together monthly to eat, drink, and play cards (many of them were raised LDS, so they don't know how to gamble, which means the card games the group plays are things like UNO and Crazy 8's 😆). One of the couples in that group has invited me to Thanksgiving dinner and I was very surprised at the invitation.

My therapist asked why I'm surprised? Do I think my friend included me into his friend group because he thought I was a dweeb and wouldn't get along? Of course not. You're an interesting person, it's not surprising they want to spend more time with you and get to know you better.

At that point I shared with the therapist about a conversation I had with a friend of mine where I wondered why my stake has kept me on as the stake executive secretary for so long? They probably should've released me in 2017 when I was suicidal and started therapy, but instead they rearranged presidency meetings to accommodate my sessions. They probably should have released me when I was hospitalized with pulmonary embolisms and home bound for about a year. Instead of releasing me, they setup a screen in their meetings so I could continue to participate. Are they exploiting me?

My friend said it's likely that they love me, they like having me close, keeping me on during those times let them keep an eye on me, I help them see perspectives that help them better understand, and they can see I make an impact in the stake and beyond.

This past Sunday at church it was joked about how I've served so long that this is now the 4th stake clerk I've served with. Then the first counselor in the stake presidency said there's no plans to replace me, that's not a conversation they've been having. That I bring so much to the calling beyond making appointments that I make a unique impact. It felt great to have that confirmation.

My therapist said if they have the power to replace me and they haven't, it means they appreciate me and like having me be part of their team.

"Why do you insist on believing that others wouldn't want to have you around?"

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We ended with my therapist saying that he sees me carving out the life I want from the life I currently have. Tackling eating disorders, joining new friend groups, and other examples, are ways of me saying I want a different kind of life and then working towards it.

[night-market-if]

End of the Month story wrap

Here is the end of the month story wrap up for my Patreon. I actually had extra stories this month, plus Paper Moons (4 shorts there) which is now available for the Courtesan tier and up with the alternative choices available for the Baron tier on itch.io

Setting aside my picnic basket, I tipped my head towards him. It was clear he had not slept. The front desk had said that he hadn’t taken more than a fifteen-minute break at his desk for days.  “When’s the last time you ate?” I asked him.

For a moment, I wondered if Gabriel was the type of man who would dare lie in the face of something he had clearly done.  There was a flicker in his eyes that said that perhaps he was. But, he had been caught and he knew it. Slumping back in his seat, he looked up at me, a slight blush of chastisement coloring his cheeks. “That would require me to be aware of what day it even is.”

“Gabriel,” I sighed.  Turning, I grabbed the wrapped sandwiches Hazel had packed and handed one to him. I then hopped up on the desk. If I had to sit here and guard him until he had a decent meal, I would.

“I would like to discuss her, if we may.”

“After all this time? Why the curiosity?” Arguably, Gabriel had more access to the Baron of the Mists than Belladonna. He oversaw the monthly meetings between the Barons. Belladonna hadn’t seen Kavatti since being released from her services.  Which, had been long before Gabriel was even Warden.

“Because you will be taking our market friend to see her and I do not think that is wise for the two of you to go alone.” Straightening, ever the good soldier, he stood at attention. “I would like to attend this meeting with you.”

“I’m not here to hurt you,” Milo said quickly. “I probably should have waited for you to open and came in through the front door like everyone else but I’m not great at thinking my actions through.”

She stared at him, slowly letting her hand fall to her side. He could see she clutched a pair of sheering scissors in her other hand.

“Also, the seahorse was hungry,” Milo said. “I fed it.”

Hazel stepped back, nearly stumbling over her own feet. “You are not welcome here, omen,” she said.

The visage of the man smiled sadly at her as his feet touched down upon the floor, his body gaining form, but his skin still a sickly grey.  “I am not here for you, bog witch,” he said evenly. There was something more to him. A life that had once been lived. But now he was nothing more than an echo.  All omens were, in fact.

“Too many gates,” he said through gritted teeth. “There were too many to close at once. Not with magic at least. Had to do some of them by hand.”

Kamille looked at him, crushing bits of oyster within a small bowl and adding the glittering waters from the pool held within the corner of the room.  “You can’t keep doing this, Malcolm. I don’t want to keep patching you up.”

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[writerblock-sucks]

( ☠️ ) … known sasaengs of faith

inspired by @babipurin

content warnings; intended lowercase. mentions of killing. sasaengs. mentions of over sexualization. mentions of threatening. mentions of male masturbating and unwanted inappropriate touching

authors note. this is in no way to accuse this people in the pictures of being sasaengs, they purely placeholders. i also do not and anyway support people who invad idols private life’s or their families

loves faith and only faith

name . kim aera | age . 23

became obsessed after faith’s ‘my pace’ teaser photos were released. she buys anything faith is seen wearing and calls them “their couple’s outfits” she was seen at many events and even unlisted events. she had her vlive account suspended 5 times for send death threats in chat to both the members and other stays, aera’s won multiple fan calls, to the point faith could recognize her. at high-touch events, even when talking with the other members she would still only ask questions about faith

“oppa, why does faith ever talk about her omma anymore?”

“does faith like baths or showers?”

“innie, why do you and the other members share a room with faith, she should have her own one, boys are too hormonal?”

what crossed the line for faith (and the boys) was when faith and han were out for a walk, and aera appeared in the store they went into, she asked for a picture. han walked over to aera to have the first picture until she practically threw her phone in his hands. faith walked over for the pictures, even click of the camera aera would get closer and her hands would wonder, progressively faith would get more and more uncomfortable. when all the pictures were done, faith and han turned to leave aera hand reach out to slap faith’s hand, and said “i’ll always love you, fighting” faith slowly pulled her hand away, and keep walking out of the store, and by the time they got back to the dorm faith was crying and hyperventilating.

are they known? yes, jype was aware of aera after she threatened to kill seungmin, if he didn’t stay away from faith, during a fan signing. fans were made aware of aera after knetz called out her fan site ‘angels_lovesfaith’ to international fans.

do they know they're wrong — yes, but she doesn’t care. she’s been called out for being a rosé and jennie sasaeng, but blinks were never to get her fan site blacklisted or even taken down.

sexualizes faith

name . ah jiho | age . 29

he didn’t acknowledge the male idols/groups under companies, and co-ed groups last only a few years. that was until skz ‘get cool’ mv, when faith’s outfits made headlines for the lolita and school girl aspects and baby doll look. after that era, he was seen at every live stages and pre-cordings for things, jiho also ran a fan site for her called ‘starslost_faith’ that gain lots of popularity for their nice shots of her outfits.

are they known? yes, div1 has “blacklisted” him but only from online events. he hasn’t done anything, in their eyes, physically with her that would warrant an in-person blacklisting, and he used this to his advantage, he still runs the fan site ‘stars_lostfaith’. he was blacklisted after winning a fan call with her and started pleasuring himself in front of her. it was found out later that he was a sasaeng of red velvet’s joy and twice’s jihyo, and had done similar actions to both of them.

do they know they're wrong — yes and no, he sees idols as objects, but he does know that doing these things get him in trouble so he’s more secretive about it.

believes faith loves them

name . lee gunwoo | age . 22

gunwoo knew faith when they were trainees after gunwoo’s brother passed away, faith gave him homemade treats to show her condolences. he became obsessed and tried as much as possible to get into faith’s life. however after assaulting a female trainee, after hearing her say faith shouldn’t have debuted her monthly evaluation. gunwoo’s contract was quietly terminated and banned from jype builds. faith wasn’t very close with gunwoo, to begin with so she didn’t feel obligated to keep in contact and after his spam calls and messaging her nonstop, she blocked him.

are they known? yes, and he has been blacklisted. however, nothing is being done to keep him away from her at airports, concerts, world tours, and even unscheduled events/places. type and div1 haven’t responded publicly or privately to the mass emails or tweets when he is seen at the same place as her. fans try very hard multiple times taken down any accounts he may make to communicate with her.

do they know they're wrong — no, he thinks faith doesn’t return his affection cause of the other members, gunwoo is a very distraught person that needs a therapist.

honorable dishonorable mentions

order - left to right

son ji eun — 19 — loves only faith

im dae seong — 23 — sexualizes faith

namgung young — 25 — sexualizes faith

gim yeong ho — 20 — believes faith loves them

statistics show faith has had a gradual increase of sasaengs and fansites since debut (showing her sasaengs seem to be behind her fansites | 4/5)

taglist : @ateez-seul @lovely-sanie @skzfairies @skz-angel @still-astray (feel free to send an ask to be on/off the taglist)

[alyjojo]

July 🍯 2024 Monthly - Leo

Preshuffle: You’re releasing some kind of old thing you identify with, probably style related, I’m seeing someone getting a tattoo covered up. Getting rid of trucker hats you stopped wearing years ago - embracing tighter pants idk, something aesthetic. It’s out with the old, in with the new, and it’s inspired by something/someone that’s triggered you.

Meditation:

You were in a tight dress with a tight bun on your head, like a ballerina, and I’m seeing the Geranium color card, you’re blossoming into a big flowy dress and big curls in your hair. No more tight or rigid styles cutting off your circulation. Can’t breathe. You’re growing beautifully 🌺

Main energy: 10 Wands

There’s a lot of pressure on you to stick around in a situation where you’re not getting anything out of this, and I’m not sure in which area this applies to you. Third Wheel is strong here, so there is a duo and then you, and you’re feeling left out of the mix. Could be love, I’m not really getting that though. For most it feels like work, there’s the GM and the manager, and then you - the peon, or it’s family/friends, in some way you’re not the one with the information, the last to know, last to be invited, you don’t feel like a valued member of a group. Or it’s “why do they always have to bring their boyfriend? Please go away.” Or why does John always ask Bob to happy hour when he always talks to me and I drop everything for him? And Bob could care less. That’s the vibe.

What’s going on in July:

4 Swords:

You’ve taken a break from talking to someone, on purpose, or they have with you, because of something shady that’s been said or done coming to light. Someone invited Bob out and not you, maybe on purpose, and you’re finding out. Someone may have said something ornery and another person confessed this to you. There’s a valid reason for why the break has occurred, feelings are hurt, you feel left out, and Justice rev following shows this as feeling unfair to you. Someone talking shit most likely. It’s also possible you were confronted about this kind of behavior, it’s switched, and in response you just withdrew from this person/people altogether and your pride is wounded.

Justice rev:

Ah, there’s the love, there’s a divine match on the table. The passionate Wands 💋, someone may have been fking around and found out. Or two people are interested in the same person and it’s caused chaos within a pair of any kind, friends, coworkers, could be that too. Someone may have met their soulmate but the circumstances involved are kinda shady and how this began was unfair. Someone leaving one person for another. Could be a partner talking shit to their friends/family and it came out, or someone talking shit to someone you’re interested in. People involved have pissed you off, or are mad at you. It’s possible a partner is holding you to unfair beauty standards or has superficial intentions for others, or you do. Whoever was in the wrong may be trying to just gloss over the fact that they were wrong and act like it wasn’t that bad, let’s just bounce right on past this, essentially not taking accountability.

6 Pentacles rev:

There’s no equal intention between whoever is attempting communication another person. One person doesn’t want something to end, the other person isn’t reciprocating that sentiment. Probably because of the lighthearted brush-off, whoever feels hurt is even more irritated by how casual and charming someone is pretending to be with them. Like “we ain’t friends” or “we ain’t close”, if anything it’s like pouring salt on a wound. King of Wands really wants to move forward in a connection, they have their heart & mind set on a specific direction and is willing to go above and beyond to heal an issue. For many, that’s you. The other person doesn’t reciprocate. If that’s switched, they are genuine, probably something you’re wondering. Someone is communicating their feelings, but I’m not sure if any change is coming from that.

King of Wands:

This King is powerful and confident, likely you, and though you’re all about taking action and aren’t afraid to speak your truth most days, there’s not much you can really do. Respond to how other people feel, if you’ve offended them. Speak your mind and then wait and see if people actually heard you & you can see change. Give it time, that’s really the only thing I can see here. Nothing is going to be solved overnight, but it’s being shown as you feel excluded and possibly manipulated by others around you, left out, whatever the feeling - you do need to be honest about it and honor yourself in this way. Then it’s out of your hands. Some of you may pop off and later realize you’re not actually as mad as you came off, and now it’s too late to fix it. You can apologize but others may be wary.

Death rev:

You don’t want this to end and it’s not, whatever connection is getting under your skin or triggering you. If anything, you want to be more involved, and you definitely want a new beginning with a person/people. Some you love. Most are a group of people that had you feeling like you weren’t really a part of this when you very much are. You want to stand up and be counted dammit, how hard is that? I get that you are valued and will see that, those who care will be more conscious of how they make you feel 💖

Signs you may be dealing with:

Heavy Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius & Cancer

Oracle: ✨

35 Inner Journey 🧘‍♀️

Not all who wander are lost. At times we are so consumed with our own personal journey that we project our journey onto another. Every soul arrives on this planet with lessons to learn and a life to live. For as many souls that are out there, there are that many different journeys. Do not judge another’s journey - always respect where another person is on their path. Meet everyone you come in contact with where they are on their path. Do not insist they come to where you are. By doing this, you will not only expose those around you to your own healing vibration, but you will offer them acceptance without judgment. This is a great gift to both give and receive.

Third Wheel 🫣

Enemy - Distrust - Flirtatiousness

Perseverance 💪

Challenge - Endorsement - Resolution

We enter into July as:

Sage 🧙🏼‍♂️

“Wisdom...is knowing the difference between risk, and stupidity.”

It is time to listen to what others are telling you. Is there some wise counsel that you have sought, only to ignore it? Are you trying to do things all by yourself? A solution to your problems may come from those more experienced than yourself. Trust that whomever you think to ask will be the right person. Sage can also indicate a time of surrendering what you have no control over. Wisdom only comes from experience, and we all have challenges because we need the lessons they provide. Remember to stay in today, no jumping ahead. This is an opportunity to start over and clean out the old, it’s the perfect time to do it. Rejoice! You are walking a path of Great Spirits 🍃

What is to be learned in July:

Pink From Pinkton 💗

“I am more than I think I am.”

Pink shows us the process of self-awareness. Are you trying to recapture a past moment that no longer fits? You may have outgrown something, and while it can be a challenge to admit it, being fully who you are is much more glorious than trying to fit yourself into the past. If you are presently upset or struggling with a difficult situation, it may be because you are trying to make something work when it simply can’t. You may be seeking to keep something far less than what you deserve. With self-awareness and discovery comes a new obligation, using your new knowledge. New ideas, projects & opportunities can only come if you stop blocking them.

Pink may be a lucky color 🩷

[tea-moon-ster]

Umbrella

Nat comes home after getting her hair done. It’s raining and she’s dreading the small walk from the parking to her building, that will definitely ruin the new look. Lucky for her, her ginger in shining armour is waiting for her with an umbrella and a plastic bag.

this universe and characters belong to the wonderful @lumosinlove. read it on ao3 here.

   

Natalie knew she must have annoyed someone in a past life. That must be it, no other solution, she thought as she hopped in her car, raindrops beginning to fall. They raced in small lines on the windshield in the brief pauses between the wiper’s rhythmic moves. She stared at them for a moment before letting out a sigh and turning the car on to exit the parking lot.

It had been a long day at work. Meetings at ungodly hours, her computer on the verge of death, and having to master a professional smile with the colleague she despised. But she’d insisted it was all worth it, because at five thirty she was sat at her friend Brianna’s hair saloon for her monthly appointment. Scented products applied by delicate hands and the temperature of the water just right had released all the tension of the past few weeks. And, because she could, she decided to treat herself a little more, adding a manicure.

The peace of mind that she felt at the end of her treatments was immeasurable. Her head felt light as she walked towards the door of the mall, picturing a chill night with both her boys in town -a small miracle, especially in spring. Not to mention the delight on their faces every time she came home with the new hair and nails. The hype they covered her into just made her love them more.

But the peace of mind came to a premature death once she was outside and noticed dark clouds approaching. She quicky got into her car to avoid getting her hair wet—her new hair, just done, fukering fuck. The tiredness she’d felt all day was back in a second. She dreaded the small distance she’d have to walk from the parking lot of her building to the apartment.

With a quick on my way on the group chat with Kasey and Alex, she started the car.

Halfway home, Natalie understood that there was no way of not getting her hair wet. It was pouring cats and dogs, big drops falling horizontally because of the wind and making her squint to see the road in front of her. Always keep an umbrella in your car, Lily always told her. Well, Lily was right, good for her.

She wouldn’t even have the chance to show her boys the new look, she realized miserably.

Once in the parking lot, Nat stopped the car and studied the distance between her and the dry safety of the building’s entrance. And the only empty spot was the farthest from the door, dammit. Okay, Darcy, keep it together. A small run and you’re home. She let out a redesignated sigh, her hand about to open the car door, when she spotted him.

Alex was running towards her, a big umbrella in one hand and a plastic bag in the other. He was wearing Kasey’s Lions’ t-shirt with a pair of sport short, his flipflops to complete the look. He made a quick jog in her direction, stopping in front of her and opening the car door. He held his hand out for her to take.

Natalie blinked.

Alex grinned. “Hiya, gorgeous! Woah, look at you! You look amazing.”

“Alex?”

“Oh, yeah, right, I saw the rain and then I remembered you had your hair appointment today. We couldn’t possibly get your new hair wet, right?”

“Oh my God,” she laughed. She was about to say ten different things, all sounding like thank you, I love you, you didn’t have to do that. But all that came out was “What’s with the plastic bag?”

Alex’s smile grew, a hint of pride in his grin. “Oh, see, the rain is falling sideways. So, I thought, maybe the umbrella won’t be enough. Put it on your head, c’mon.”

Natalie blinked again, before bursting out in a loud laugh.

“What, it’s an incredible idea! You’re just jealous you’ve never thought about it!”

Natalie was still laughing as she adjusted the supermarket bag to cover her hair and secured it with a knot. After a quick look in the mirror to check her hair was entirely covered, she took Alex’s hand. His eyes widened as he noticed the new nails, bringing her hand closer to study them.

"Nat, your nails too? They're beautiful. I like the glitter."

At that, Natalie distinctly heard a ring in the back of her mind, accompanied by the word jackpot. A wave of overwhelming affection made her breath come out shakily as she registered how lucky she was to have someone like Alex in her life. Someone who would wait for her to come home, remember her appointments, compliment her for the new look -even if the hairstyle never really changed and she hit the saloon once a month. A grown man so smitten to run for her in the rain and to think of a plastic bag not to have her hair ruined. Jackpot, jackpot, jackpot.

She jumped off the car and laced her arms around the boy’s neck, tilting her chin up for a deep kiss. After the initial surprise, Alex’s free arm circled her waist, and he made sure the umbrella was covering them both. They stayed like that for a while, kissing and letting the sound of the rain around them isolate them from the rest of the world.  When Alex gave her one last kiss, he was smiling into it.

“Such a hopeless romantic,” she breathed against his lips. “I love you so much.” Her waist received one last soft squeeze before Alex released her with a dopey smile. He closed the car’s door and offered his arm to Natalie, who rested her head on his shoulder as they made their way to the building.

Once they were inside, Alex closed the umbrella as Natalie took the plastic bag off. The redhead studied her for a moment with serious eyes before announcing “All dry. Mission accomplished.” That earned him another kiss.

They climbed the stairs with their hands swinging in between them. Their apartment door was already open. They found Kasey in the kitchen, pouring tea into three mugs. His hair was all messy, a grumpy look on his face. Just woke up from a nap, then, Natalie thought. But when he saw them coming from the hallway, he smiled, extending one arm for Natalie to take. She took it and let him make her spin, as he aways did when she got her hair done. It never failed to make her feel special.

“Looks really good,” he murmured, leaving a soft kiss on her cheek. “Always does.”

“Check out the nails,” Alex said as he joined them after kicking his soaked slippers off. Kasey compelled, nodding approvingly and admiring them. He recognized the style Natalie had showed him on Pinterest a few weeks ago.

“Gorgeous.” His eyes then moved to Alex, now grabbing sugar and milk for the tea. His brows furrowed. “You left me,” he accused pointedly.

“Baby, we had a damsel-in-distress kind of situation,” the redhead explained, coming to leave a peck to the goalie’s forehead. He circled his waist from behind, and Nat decided she, too, needed to cling on the goalie, hanging from his neck.

Kasey made a noncommittal noise, a non-vocal I’ll allow it, resting his back against Alex chest and bringing Natalie closer. “You know," he murmured against her hair, "We were in bed, and he kept checking the window for you to arrive. Then jumped off and run outside without a word. You didn’t tell me we got a dog.” Alex made a eh noise, Natalie laughed.

“Well. I would have ruined my hair if it wasn’t for this cutie."

“I thought you were asleep, didn’t want to wake you”. Alex left a line of gentle kisses against Kasey’s neck, receiving a pleased hum in feedback.

“I wasn’t sleeping. I was just resting my eyes.”

“Omg, that is the most ancient shit you’ve ever said.”

Kasey hit him blindly, resulting on a weak slap on the other’s butt, Alex’s chest vibrating with giggles against the offender’s back. But Kasey didn't look like he wanted to move. When he broke the hug, he was staring critically at Alex’s attire.

“You went out in a storm in shorts and flipflops.”

Alex dismissed him with a hand. “Winter, I lived in Florida. That was just some rain.”

Kasey shook his head in disapproval, but he was smiling fondly. “Come on, tea’s getting cold.”

They took place at the counter, and Natalie laughed when both men took each one of her hands again to admire the nails under the light.

“Babes, can’t really drink tea like this.”

Alex let out a dramatic sigh, leaving a small kiss on her hand before letting go and taking a sip from his mug. “Come on, now. Tell us about your day.”

Jackpot, she repeated to herself as she began her story, looking between Alex, his chin on his hands and listening carefully, to Kasey, looking at her with his head tilted to the left and the steaming mug in his hands. And no amount of bad luck will ever defeat all the love I receive.