#A recruitment Agent 6

[opal-owl-flight]

“Hello? What the fresh hell just happened??????”

[winterarmyy]

Welcome home... Soldat? | Part I

That time when Bucky accidentally relapsed into the Winter Soldier.

Summary: Y/N had make a habit of greeting Bucky a warm 'welcome home' everytime he came back from his missions, but there was one particular day when she unknowingly greeted someone else.

Navigation: Part I || Part II* || Part III (end) || Extra

Words: 2.9k++

Pairing: winter soldier!bucky x female!reader

Warnings: implied 18+ content, implied smut, dubious con on groping reader's body, dark(?) possessive behaviour, google translated russian, our soldat is kinda cute(?) in his own twisted way, and well, basically fluffy times with the soldat.

P/S: Guys, I never planned this at all. I mean, who am I kidding? All of my fics are not planned and I clearly write things out of impulse. Therefore, this one don't have much of a story building/plot because it was born out of one scene that flashed in my head and has been replayed way to many times that I need to let it out. Anyway, I still hope you enjoy it, somehow.

Read my other works here: Masterlist

Y/N didn't know when exactly she started this habit but she swore to herself to never grow out of it.

It's been nearly 2 years since the fall of Hydra and the avenger has accepted the winter soldier under their wing. Begrudgingly by Tony, but the rest of them seemed like they're not against it.

Y/N used to be an agent from SHIELD but since the fall, she had been recruited under the avenger's programme and had been living in the tower since.

She remembered the day when Bucky first came in, he was quiet and weary all the time. Like an abandoned cat, picked up by a stranger to come to their home. And it took the whole team months before he slowly adapted.

Who knew he would morphed into a sassy, grumpy little shit, right?

Since the first day, Y/N had been making an effort to make him feel welcomed. Helped him to adjust to modern times. Though it was not regular but she's glad he came to her from time to time to ask about things.

Y/N only meant it to be casual when she greeted him back from his missions. Usually, it'll be something like,

"Oh you're back?"

"How's the team?"

"Good to see you well put together from such horrendous mission."

"God, you look like you fell from 5 flight of stairs."

"Are you even trying to fight back, Bucky?"

But one time, Bucky came back in the morning around breakfast, she wasn't feeling sassy or clever. So, instead of greeting him with playful remarks, in the glory of her messy bed hair and iron man pyjamas, she greeted him with a sleepy smile, "Welcome home, Bucky."

And that surely made the 6 foot, bulky hunk of a soldier paralysed in his spot. His ocean blues slightly widen, and his cheeks deepen in blush.

For a moment, he wondered if this is how he would feel if he had a wife waiting for him to come back from war back in the 40's. But, then again nothing can be compared to the sight he was seeing as he is now.

And Y/N didn't want to ever lose that memory of him.

Cute and flustered Bucky is a very rare sight to see. Perhaps, this was the only time she could witness it and she want to cherish it for the rest of her life.

Though Bucky never replied to Y/N's greeting, it didn't stop them from starting a whole new routine.

Y/N always knew that she had a thing for the sargent, but about 2 months from that moment, Y/N realized she was in love.

And she waited for him, every single chance she had for arrival of the team to come back. Just like she is now, at 03:45 in the morning, while scavenging for something sweet she can eat as she waits for Bucky's return.

When, she turned around she was not expecting to have her face into clashed into something, "Oww!" Y/N shuts her eyes close as she rubbed her aching nose to ease the sharp strike of pain.

For a moment there, she seriously thought she might have just bumped into some kind of a solid air that appeared out of nowhere, but when she opened her eyes, it was just Bucky who was standing rather ominously still.

"My god, you scared the shit out of me. I know you used to be an assassin but, you gotta announce yourself sometimes, man." She joked. Although she did find it impressive that he managed to silently sneak up on her with those thick, heavy combat boots he was wearing.

"Woah, someone's been having a field day kicking your ass, huh?" Y/N's eyes lingered a little longer on the wounds at the side of his temple that she didn't notice the void in his eyes.

"Anyway..." she continued as she shook of the thoughts of caressing the cut on the corner of Bucky's lip, before greeting him with a gentle smile, "Welcome home."

Bucky's unresponsiveness was nothing new to her. With the amount of silent glares and gruff eye-rolls that he had shot at her these past few months, she's used to it by now.

But, when she finally had the guts to look him in the eye, only then she noticed the underlying shift. Albeit, his signature frown was still as present as ever but, those eyes had made her questioned of the slight difference from what she recognized.

Bucky wordlessly step forward and cornered her until her back meets the side of the kitchen isle. He took his time assessing her, almost admiring the way her iris wavered in confusion.

Something is wrong.

Her guts were screaming at her to notice it but her body wasn't reacting accordingly. That's when the voice of the AI, Jarvis echoed through the walls.

"Emergency alert: Code Winter. Initiated by Captain Steve Rogers. All agent is advised..." The announcement went on based on protocol while the cogs in Y/N's brain finally moved, "Code Winter? That means..."

 "...to be cautious of Sargent James Barnes; reprimand on sight however try not to engage alone. Agents is..." Jarvis voice in the background interwoven with Y/N's internal deduction, "...This is not Bucky?"

As she tried to put her own mind into perspective, trying to make herself believe that this man in front of her is not Bucky Barnes who she had been adoring over for these past few months, the soldat's hands reached the side of her neck, squeezing the softness of her flesh while his thumbs grazed the shape of her jawline.

His heavy gaze remained on hers, willing her to stay as still possible.

"Bucky...?" She called his name in hopes of triggering something, anything for within his controlled mind.

At end of the corridor leading towards the kitchen, Steve could see how the soldat had already gotten his hands on Y/N and panic strike him like lightning, he sprinted towards her as he despretely shouted, "Y/N! Stay away from--"

But Y/N was not able to render anything she heard from Steve, especially after a long silence, the soldat finally spoke, "Yes, I'm home..."

He carefully pulled her face closer to his as his lips planted on her soft cheek, "...мое cолнышко (my sunshine)" he lifted for a second just to kiss her again on her temple as he whispered lowly, "...мое Родная (my darling)"

Y/N's heart was beating madly for several different reasons. Parts of her was terrified that the soldat might break her neck within an instance, but it gradually changes into something much more confusing, a conflicted joy, when he keep on trailing his lips all over her face.

What is happening?

Both her and Steve was practically frozen in pure confusion.

Steve's mouth hanged open as words failed to form, while Y/N was unable to comprehend any sort of thoughts, let alone counter movements; when the soldat continue to whisper Russian endearments against her skin, littering sweet kisses on every part of her face, except for her lips as if he wanted to tease her.

His hands slowly travel down her back and stopped on the side of her waist, pulling her body closer until there was no space in between them anymore, before he wrapped his arms around her.

The drag of his stubble on her skin burned but it felt so good when he kissed it after.

Seconds later, Sam managed to catch up with Steve and his cautious approach fell as he witnessed the soldat's rather domestic actions towards Y/N.

Sam foolishly let his guard down as he approached with a question directed to Steve, "Is the tin man back?" That was when a bullet barely grazed the tip of his ear that then buried through the wall behind him.

Both Steve and Sam forced to stop any sort of movement as the soldat's aim was still locked towards their direction; his cold blue eyes pierced with a menacing warning, all the while posessively holding Y/N in his arms as his kisses trailed the side of her neck.

"Nope, not yet." Sam answered his own question as he waited for Steve's order.

Y/N felt like she have to do something to de-escalate the situation. After a quick deduction, and based on the soldat attitude towards her, she took the risk of believing that he would not do anything to hurt her, so she decided to play along.

Will it work though?

Well, she got to have to try for it work.

She gulped nervously before softly calls for him, "Soldat?" she looked up towards him.

When the soldat gave her his attention, she watched the loose strand of his hair fall down to his face. Her hand went up and reached for it, "How about we go back to your room and let me tend these wounds, hmm?" She cooed while tucking his behind his ear and briefly caressing his cheek with the back of her fingers.

The soldat didn't reply but instead silently process her proposition.

However, the hesitation only worried her more, so she continued to persuade, as she cautiously slide her hand, following his arm that was holding her teammates at gun point, "It'll be just the two of us. How's that sound?" She smiled warmly at him as she managed to lower it enough to grab the gun away from his grasp.

There was a glint of indecipherable emotion in his eyes when she mentioned that, which then he nodded in agreement.

"Okay then, let's go." She put the gun on the kitchen isle behind her and replaced her hand in his, pulling him towards his bedroom. The soldat did not protest to her lead, in fact her followed her obediently.

But before Y/N makes an exit, she looked back towards Steve and mouthed a reassuring message, "I got this."

The captain had all the rights to be weary but at this point, he just had to believe in Y/N's action plan. He nodded and replied, "Be safe. We'll be outside."

Along the walk towards Bucky's room, all she could think was that she can handle it and she got this under control.

But, does she?

Well, Y/N did have it under control, in terms of keeping the soldat from going on a berserk rampage but what she didn't think through was how the fuck she should handle his behaviour towards her.

After they arrived to Bucky's room, she had instructed him to strip off his tactical suit and leave him sitting at the edge of the bed, only in his short to avoid him reaching for any hidden weapons he had, all the while she went to grab the first aid from his bathroom.

Now that she almost done tending the small injuries on his face, it finally dawned to her that the soldat had her immobilized in between his legs as his hands rubbed the back of her thighs, occasionally squeezing the softness of her body in his tender grip.

His intent gaze waited patiently for her to finish and as soon as she did, he pulled her on his lap, making her to straddle on top him as he smushed his face on her chest, "Oh, Родная (darling)... I have missed you."

Her hands found her balance on his shoulders while the soldat roaming hands held her body still by the back of her waist.

It will be a lie if she said her heart didn't skipped when he confessed; even if it was still the soldat's thoughts and words but it was Bucky's voice.

The soldat pulled his other hand to play with the buttons of her pyjamas shirt, specifically around her chest area.

Part of him wanted to just rip her clothes off from her body but another part of him didn't want to. He didn't want scare her; and his precious little darling deserved to be pampered.

He had her buttons popped off; one by one, slow and almost sensual while Y/N was still in a heated debate with herself on what she should to next. She wanted the soldat to stop but god the temptation of wanting more was beyond her will power.

This is not Bucky.

She knew that. But, she had been bewitched by the look in those familiar blue eyes. So enthralled and so keen to unwrap her.

Y/N let out a low yet sharp gasp as her chest was finally revealed, "Soldat, what..." The soldat take a quick glance into her eyes, "...are you doing?" before trailing back down to the curve of her breasts, cupped so beautifully with a simple black bra.

His hands went back to grabbed her thighs as he replied, "Just wanna hold you." He leaned closer and left a lingering kiss in between her breasts, mumbling deep, " Wanna feel you, мое Родная (my darling)"

Fuck, it feels so good.

"Wanna feel you..." Y/N's grip on his bare shoulder tightened as he lips warmed the top of her right breast, "...here." An unexpected moan slipped out of her lips as the soldat latched his wet mouth on her skin, bruising it with his mark.

He groaned to the taste of her, so sweet and soft, he wanted to pull the bra off her and suckle on her nipple. He bet that they're perky and so sensitive. Bet he could make her cum just by playing with them.

He wanted to leave his bite mark around them, make them look much more prettier. But, he needed to be patient.

He brought his left hand up to hold the other side of her chest; pulling another pretty noise as the cold metal of his thumb gently stroked the exposed skin of her breast.

"Wanna feel you..." His flesh hand made its way lower and cupped her clothed sex, unexpectedly making her grind down to his hold, "...here."

She couldn't help to find shelter in the crook of his neck when he began to stroke her sensually.

This is getting out of hand.

Y/N doesn't mind to entertain him if the soldat only asked for him to hold her but it was clear that he wanted so much more than just innocent touches. Especially when he languidly rubbed his middle finger in between the slit of her pussy.

She hates how easy it was for Bucky's touch turned her on, his hands and his lips; regardless if his actions was someone else's.

This is wrong.

This has to stop.

"No... soldat." She whimpered in his ears as his finger drew slow circles on her clit, his mouth latched on her shoulder.

"I can't touch you here?" He murmured softly as he pressed harder. Even with the barrier of the cotton panties, she was so sensitive to his touch; he loves that about her.

"N-no. You can't." She choked back a moan as she replied.

God, what if he doesn't care?

What if he'll get mad and force it on her?

She can't imagine the guilt Bucky had to experience if the soldat take her right now. And all because her stupid little brain cannot comprehend a plan to stop him, all because she let the soldat touch her as freely, as willingly.

Salty tears started to blur her vision when she sniffled them back.

Much to his deperateness, the soldat pulled her away and watched as her tears spilled out, "Oh darling, don't cry." He leaned in and kiss the corners of her eyes, murmuring his words of comfort, "I hate to see you cry, мое cолнышко (my sunshine)." His metal hand slithered to her back and his palm stroked her lovingly.

"Okay, okay. I won't touch your sweet princess part, okay?" He patted her pussy one last time before reaching to swipe her tears away. "I promise." He whispered.

As much as he wanted to fuck her stupid, fill her hole full with his load; however the soldat does hold her very dear to his heart and hates to see her sad.

"Just let me hold you close, darling?" He cooed as he kissed the edge of her lips.

Y/N didn't know why but she trusted his words. Maybe it was because he was so gentle with her, that she was tricked into believing him.

She watched the soldat waited patiently for her response and when she nodded softly, he swiftly lifted her in his arms and lay her down on the bed.

He tucked himself in under the sheets with her and naturally rested his face on her chest. His fleshed arms wrapped securely around her waist and his metal one around her thighs, as he pulled her closer; almost suffocating himself in between her warm breasts.

It was like an instinct for Y/N to encircle her arms around his neck while her hands run through the thick of his hair, absentmindedly playing with the softness of it.

She almost giggle when the soldat let out a deep-throated sound of relieved sighs as she continued to massage his scalp.

As the soldat started to sail deeper into dreamland, Y/N thought that maybe this will be the only and the last time she had the chance to hold Bucky like this and she knew it was wrong to feel grateful to the soldat because had done nothing but terrible, despicable things in the past.

But when she thought about it, none of those sins was his choice to make. He was created to kill and nothing else.

But what if he had something to hold on to?

A hope to look forward to?

A person to protect?

Or a home to go back to?

Would he still be the same monster he had been before?

She have not a slightest clue.

But, what she does know that this soldat who's clinging in her arms, deserves something kind.

And she hoped that she managed to give him a sense of peace for once in his life.

Y/N nuzzled to the side of his tired-looking face and placed a sweet kiss on his temple as she whispered ever-so-softly, "Welcome home, soldat."

Part II >>

Read my other works here: Masterlist

A/N: This is possibly part 1? I'm not sure either. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments! And reblogs is much appreciated!

[bumblee-stumblee]

The Telegraph

Scores of actresses turn down roles in play critical of JK Rowling’s gender views

Craig Simpson

Thu, June 13, 2024 at 6:49 AM PDT·3 min read

A play that criticises JK Rowling’s views on gender is struggling to cast women with 90 actresses so far rejecting parts.

The stage production, which is set to debut at the Edinburgh Fringe, has already caused outrage over a working title which labelled the gender-critical Harry Potter author a c----.

The production is yet to cast any of the female roles, including that of Rowling herself.

The part of Harry Potter film star Emma Watson has also been repeatedly turned down, and around 90 actresses have refused to take part in the project amid concerns over its critique of Rowling.

The author has become a figure of hate online among some activists, and received death threats after publicly sharing concerns about the encroachment of transgender campaigning on women’s rights.

Actors have been found for male leads, who will portray Harry Potter cast members Rupert Grint and Daniel Radcliffe.

Creative producer Barry Church-Woods told the Telegraph: “This project has met some kind of resistance every step of the way, though I’ve been generally surprised by how difficult it has been for us to recruit the female cast in particular.

“It’s a well-paid gig meeting industry standards and the script is terrific.”

He added: “I think it’s fair to say that a few things are coming into play in casting.”

The play, which was written by queer-identifying Hollywood scriptwriter Joshua Kaplan, tells the story of a fictional intervention staged for Rowling by the stars of the Harry Potter franchise, Watson, Grint and Radcliffe.

The three actors publicly denounced Rowling in 2020 when she first raised concerns about the spread of gender ideology, the belief that gender is unfixed and changes according to how people self-identify.

The work was initially titled TERF C***, with TERF standing for trans-exclusionary radical feminist, a term which has been deployed pejoratively against women who have opposed trans ideology.

It is understood that 30 actresses have turned down the role of Rowling in the play, and 60 have refused the part of Watson, while agencies representing aspiring female stars have been nervous to put their clients forward for the project.

There is some suggestion that the actress may have ideological misgivings about the play, or be concerned about a potential backlash.

It has been suggested by producers that some actresses may not want to appear in a play critiquing Rowling and ruin their chances of appearing in the lucrative new Harry Potter TV series on the Max streaming service.

Rowling is acting as executive producer for the series, and will be involved in key decision-making.

Mr Church-Woods said: “We’ve had agents reluctant to put names forward, I suspect, because they do not want to damage their clients chances of landing roles on the new Potter TV series.”

Writer Mr Kaplan has insisted that his play does not carry a set message, and is more about “relationships and how Rowling’s opinions evolved” rather than a work “interrogating the substance of her opinions”.

TERF plays the Sir Ian McKellen Theatre from August 2 to 25.

But I thought TWAW? Why aren't they looking to hire Transwomen actors to play the women's roles if they truly believe that they are women?

Isn't it funny how they seem to know what a woman is when they want to use them to mock other women?

[thewidowsledger]

The Call

Chapter 1: First Day | 3.9k

© thewidowsledger 2024 - DO NOT REPUBLISH AND PLAGIARISE

Summary: You were supposed to take her out—the infamous Black Widow—Natasha Romanoff. The S.H.I.E.L.D. has been keeping an eye on her for a while now and for some reason, another high-ranking agent as you was sent to get the mission done. But then, he made a different call leading the mission to be here in front of you, soon to be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.

Pairings: Ex-Russian Agent Natasha Romanoff x Senior S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Female Reader

Warnings: 18+, bad writing, slow burn, angst angst angst, violence, triggering Natasha’s trauma if you squint because that's what we do for a living

Author's Note: You are Fury’s adoptive daughter in this series and I wrote Yelena as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, not a Black Widow. So basically Natasha and Yelena doesn't know each other. I tried doing my best researching about Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. so please spare me with my mistakes.

I dedicate this chapter to @a-spes and @notlhecxzsa because they’ve been nothing but very supportive of this series🤲💗

Navigation | Masterlist | Series Masterlist

⧗

“Natalia Alianovna Romanova”

“Natasha Romanoff”

“Red Room”

“Black Widow”

Your eyes hurt as you look at the screen fiercely, having to put your eyeglasses on your head. Your eyes run over every word and detail gathered by S.H.I.E.L.D. on the assassin's life. You’ve read and reviewed all of this, you’ve studied her for almost half of your life.

She was supposed to be taken out by Clint, a high-ranking S.H.I.E.L.D. agent like you. The difference between you and Clint is that Clint is a level 6 agent and you are a level 8 agent who has more access to information and works as a mission controller. While Clint’s level specialized in espionage and combat.

You and Clint have earned your positions through years of service and exceptional performance. In S.H.I.E.L.D., agent rankings ranged from entry-level recruits to senior positions such as Director and Deputy Directors. In the field, agents were typically divided into levels based on their experience and mission success rates, with higher levels earning more autonomy and responsibility. You and Clint were both considered to be in the upper echelons of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s field agent ranks, respected and entrusted with important missions.

You studied Clint's mission report from Budapest as well.

“I made a different call.” You read to yourself.

You remembered that day, your father, the director, Nick Fury, accepted that call without hesitation. However, you found yourself unable to accept it as easily as he did. You knew that Natasha's past made her dangerous and unpredictable, and you couldn't shake the feeling that the assassin had her own agenda. Your concerns were real, but you knew that your father, the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. trusted Clint's judgment, and you had no choice but to accept that call.

You turned your attention to the screen of your computer scrolling through the series of surveillance photos, eventually pausing at one particular image that caught your eye. It was a picture of Natasha, her face and arms bloodied. She’s wearing a tight-fitting black tank top that emphasized her toned abs. You’re fixated on the image, your eyes tracing the curve of Natasha's biceps.

“Y/N?”

You jumped in surprise and quickly closed the tabs on your computer. You composed yourself before calling out, “Come in.”

“Deputy Hill.” You nodded, Maria intently eyed you before the both of you bursted into laughter. “What's up, Ri? I missed you.” You immediately circled over your desk and gave her a big hug.

“Fine and you? How's the vacation?” She asked, squeezing your left hand. “Great, so, so great that I wanna sneak out and ditch missions just to go back to Fiji and lay there while I keep my tan up by the beach.”

“That sounds really great, Y/N.”

“Oh yeah, it is.” You replied with a smirk as you walked back towards your desk. “And then I’ll get a call that Hawkie made a “different call” with his last mission.” You raised a hand, gesturing with your two fingers to make an apostrophe sign in the air as you said, “different call.”

Maria just chuckled, her gaze landing on the stack of paper you're fixing on your desk. “I know what those are.” She said, before eyeing you softly.

Of course she does, everyone in S.H.I.E.L.D. knows what it is, who’s behind all those thick papers.

It's all about the shot Clint couldn't take, Natasha Romanoff A.K.A. the Black Widow.

You let out a deep sigh as you looked up at Maria, gathering the papers on your desk. "She's coming today, right?"

“Actually Y/N, I’m here to say that they're all in the meeting room now. Clint, your dad and her.”

“Oh.”

⧗

There was a charged energy in the air, the assassin's senses something intimidating coming in, she braced herself and leaned her back straight at her seat—and then here you are, entering the meeting room.

Natasha's eyes widened as she took in your appearance, drinking in every detail. Her gaze slid down on your body, taking in the way your skirt and heels accentuated your legs and the way your cleavage peeked on your top…

“That's my daughter, finally.” Fury said, smiling at you, you peck a kiss on his cheek before standing beside him.

As soon as Fury spoke the word “daughter” Natasha cursed under her breath, realizing that she had just been checking out the director’s daughter. She felt a wave of shame wash over her, embarrassed at her own behavior.

“Agent Y/N Fury.” Fury introduced. You scanned the room taking in the presence of Clint and the infamous Black Widow. You smiled politely at Clint, acknowledging his comeback.

“Barton.”

“Y/N.”

Your gaze swept over the assassin, your eyes meeting for a brief moment. She quickly averted her gaze, clearly uncomfortable with the direct eye contact. You couldn't help but smirk slightly at her reaction, finding it amusing.

You took your seat in front of Clint, eyeing her once again before the meeting began.

You glance at the assassin every now and then and the assassin is very aware of it, you made it obvious that you're staring at her even Clint knows but he did nothing about it.

If looks could kill this assassin would be dead on the spot. Your gaze fixed on every detail that you’ve seen on the tabs of your computer, your eyes finally landed on her arms—they're much bigger in person you thought but you quickly erased the stupid thought when the main topic of discussion was finally brought up.

“Natasha Romanoff will now be a part of S.H.I.E.L.D.” The deputy director, Maria announced.

There was a moment of silence as everyone digested this information. You know this is going to happen, you saw it coming. You huffed trying to keep your expression neutral but it didn't go unnoticed by the people in the room.

Fury leaned forward in his seat, his gaze focused on you as if he's expecting you to show your disagreement to this decision. “If you have any issues with the situation, just report it,” he said firmly.

You tried to downplay your concerns and annoyance, giving a small shrug in response, but you couldn't hide the tension that had settled in the room. You know damn well that the entire team, including the assassin herself, could sense your disagreement and disapproval but of course you didn't give them the satisfaction of having their thoughts right about you.

Their eyes shifted between you and Fury, watching carefully for your reaction. But the assassin kept her head down.

“If that would be all, I'd like to excuse myself.” You quickly stood from your chair without giving anyone a chance to respond and you made your way towards the door.

Just as you reached for the handle, Fury's voice called out to you, stopping you in your tracks. You shut your eyes before turning to face him, your expression emotionless.

“Sir?” You said, acknowledging his authority, he’s still the director after all…and not to mention that he’s also your father who you always had dinner with every weekend.

“Romanoff will be under your wing.” Before you could even react, he spoke again. “You will be responsible for overseeing her in missions, training, and other SHIELD operations, including both field work and theoretical training. You need to evaluate her progress and provide feedback and guidance as necessary.”

Your eyes scanned the room and landed on Natasha, who sat quietly in her seat.

“Doesn't seem like I have a choice, do I?”

Clint pinched his nose to your reply, he already expected this attitude from you. You saw him squeeze the hand of the assassin.

But the assassin once again tried to avoid your gaze, you couldn't help but feel a small sense of satisfaction at her reaction once again. It was clear that your presence and authority intimidated her, which was a good start.

As you turned to leave, you called out to the assassin, “Tomorrow 0800, in my office.”

Before Natasha could even reply, you’re already gone.

“Yes ma’am.” She muttered in the air.

⧗

You were surprised to see the redhead standing in front of your office. You walked past her as if you saw nothing and immediately placed your bag to your desk, you sat back down and saw her figure still standing outside the glassed windows of your office.

You let out an annoyed sigh and stared at the clock on the wall, counting down the minutes. It was still ten minutes before your scheduled meeting time.

You fidgeted with your foot, tapping it against the floor. The seconds seemed to tick by slower than normal, and you just wanted the clock to reach exactly 8 o'clock so you could call the assassin.

“Come in.”

Before she could even close the door you fired off a series of questions.

“Did you report to Deputy Director Hill? Before you come waiting outside my office for what seems like hours?” You asked, cocking your brow at her.

She answered quickly, “Yes.”

You continued, "Did you complete your assigned training?"

Again, her reply was prompt, “Yes.”

Impressed but not fully satisfied, you pressed on, “Weapons training?”

“I thin—”

As soon as Natasha began to respond again, you cut her off. “What? You think you don't need them?” You demanded, your voice sharp as if you know what she's going to say.

Natasha's head jerked back, clearly not expecting the abrupt interruption. She looked up at you, her eyes wide, and replied softly, “No, ma'am.”

You tilt your head, “Then go, meet me after.”

“Deputy Hill told me that I might need some guidance in the traini—”

“Guidance?” You shot back with your shocked mocking tone not letting her finish once again, “With a trained assassin like you? You need my guidance?” You chuckled in irritation and disbelief as you slowly shook your head side by side.

“You’ve got so much red on your ledger, I don't think you need my guidance.”

The assassin flinched at your words, it clearly touched a nerve and you knew you had hit that sensitive spot. In that way you wanted her to know that you weren't going to go easy on her.

But only if you knew how much your words affected her.

⧗

“Clint, what's up? Are you supposed to be here? I thought you're still on leave?” Clint brought Natasha in a big hug that she really needs right now after your shoot-to-kill words.

“Nah, not if my best friend is at her first day of work,” he replied, patting her shoulder reassuringly. They continued walking together and Clint asked, “How was it?”

Natasha shrugged nonchalantly, “It's okay.”

“How's Y/N?” Clint noticed the change in Natasha's mood when he asked about you. She seemed hesitant to talk about you, her answer short and clipped. “She uhm…she's okay.” She spoke again, changing the subject quickly. “I’m heading to the training room right now.”

He picked up on her avoidance and decided to play along, though concern still flickered in his eyes.

“I can see through you, Nat,” he started, “Y/N can be tough, she's not the Furious daughter for nothing.”

Natasha looked at him questioningly, “Furious daughter?”

Clint chuckled, finding the ironic nickname funny. “You know, because she's Fury’s daughter, fe-yu-ri…fe-yu-ri-us—because she can be furious at times,” he explained, adding a little pun to it.

He then grew serious again, looking at the assassin intently. “But seriously, Y/N is not someone to mess around with. She’s tough as nails and can be pretty intense when she wants to be.”

Natasha muttered under her breath, “Yeah, I knew that right after she walked in the meeting room yesterday.”

Clint just chuckled and patted her shoulder reassuringly. He knew that you had made quite an impression on her, and he found it somewhat amusing.

“Seems like she left a lasting impression, huh?” he teased.

Natasha's head dropped slightly as she remembered the words you had shot at her a while ago.

“Guidance?”

“With a trained assassin like you? You need my guidance?”

“You’ve got so much red on your ledger, I don't think you need my guidance.”

“Oh yeah she did.”

⧗

You summoned all the agents under your wing. There are 5, Natasha included.

Natasha intently observed each person in the meeting room, her gaze flitting from one face to another as if trying to glean something from their expressions.

Typical guy with blue eyes and blonde hair, with a muscular body and cocky attitude, but Natasha thought that his muscles were just gym muscles. This one girl who introduced herself to Natasha, her name is Madisynn, though chatty, could sometimes talk a mile a minute. And another girl that had this uncanny ability of appearing lost in her work, her face almost buried in piles of papers and documents as soon as she entered the meeting room.

Natasha, the newbie, of course, had observed each of them closely during the small or almost no interaction at all, making mental notes about their personalities but suddenly a girl with blonde hair entered the room with a big smile and boisterous greeting.

“Hiiiiiiii!” She immediately made her way over to you and enveloped you in a tight hug.

“Hi, Lena.”

Natasha watched this interaction intently. She observed the way your stern demeanor seemed to soften slightly as the small woman embraced you. It piqued her curiosity as she realized it was the first time she had seen you even crack a smile.

Just as Yelena was settling into conversation mode with you, she suddenly turned her attention to the team and started greeting them individually, her cheerful persona on full display. When she got to Natasha, Yelena's eyes widened in recognition.

“You're...the Black Widow?” she exclaimed, excitement evident in her voice. “I’m Yelena! I'm such a huge fan!"

Natasha looked slightly uncomfortable, wincing at the sudden attention. She saw how you glared at Yelena but of course Yelena didn't see. But before she could even respond, Yelena quickly turned her focus back to you.

Yelena bounded over to stand in front of you, her face lit up with her signature grin. You couldn't help but chuckle lightly at her infectious energy.

"Seriously, what are you doing here, Lena?" you asked, your voice laced with both fondness and a little bit of annoyance.

With a shrug, Yelena replied, "I'm a part of your unit, right?"

You chuckled again and clarified, crossing your arms together. "You're in the process of becoming a senior agent."

Not missing a beat, Yelena dropped her smile and adopted a playful pout, giving you a puppy-dog look. "But I still need your guidance. I'm still your baby, right?" she whined, her bottom lip sticking out in an exaggerated manner.

You looked at her now with a serious expression, your gaze narrowing as you asked your question.

"Did Maria ask you to be here?"

The agent shook her head innocently.

You pressed on, your voice was soothing as if you're trying to talk to a kid to have them say the truth. "Did the director ask you to come?"

Again, Yelena replied with a simple, "Nope." Her answer was so childlike popping the p and carefree that it left you no closer to understanding why she was here.

You hummed as you guessed again, “Clint?”

Now she did not reply or give any hint of response, she just fidgeted with her hands.

You sighed, now serious and knowing you were finally getting to the bottom of it. "Did Kate...?"

Yelena's response, "Yeah," was delivered like a kid caught red-handed. Seeing the change in your expression, the agent looked up at you, her eyes widening with realization as she saw just how seriously you were taking this.

"Okay, okay!" she pouted, her mood shifting quickly to defensiveness.

"Well, I guess Clint told her," she muttered, still trying to justify her actions.

You couldn't help but give her a stern look, silently waiting for her to get to the point.

Realizing she was in trouble, Yelena quickly continued, “And you know how Kate is! She told me you're being a 'meanie' to the newbie.”

Yelena's explanation had left you a little taken aback, but you're actually satisfied at the thought of being perceived as mean…to the newbie.

That call hadn't been an easy one for you, so might as well don't go easy on her.

“I'm not being mean,” you denied calmly, immediately defending yourself as you glance towards the direction of the newbie.

Yelena quickly countered, her pout and the respectful tone in her voice contrasting with her defiance, “You did not make me come at 0800 at your office and expect everything done by that time.”

You chuckled at her audacity, a little amused. Just by making her come to your office early everyday made you mean already? How is she supposed to handle all the things you’re about to unleash to her?

“And they thought sending you here will stop me from being mean to the newbie?” you asked, raising your brows at her.

“Nope, they sent me so the newbie will have a frennie.”

“Frennie, huh?” You replied with a huff. “Great, two pains in my ass.”

Yelena shot back, offended at your words, “See? You're being a meanie!”

Hearing her fiery and child-like reply, you couldn't help but chuckle softly, unable to maintain being serious in the face of her petulant pout and defiant attitude.

With a smirk, you gestured ever so slightly with your chin towards the direction of the newbie who has been patiently sitting alone in the meeting room.

“Shoo, go to your frennie now. It seems like she's waiting for you.”

“Now you're being a bully.” Yelena crossed her arms across her chest, her pouty expression never leaving her face.

You tilt your head, slightly leaning towards the agent, “Go now, before I show you how meanie I can be.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

⧗

“Y/N go easy on her.”

“You're the second person to tell me that today,” you replied coldly to your father, a touch of defensiveness in your voice. “What did I do now? Make her come to the office on weekends when the others don't?” you huffed.

Your father just hummed and you immediately snapped back to reality after you just exposed yourself.

“I heard you never let her out of your office. Never sent her to missions, you know she actually can be the same level as Clint.” Your father noted making you bite your inner lip in frustration. She just got in the agency and the thought of her being on the same level as Clint that quickly made you feel threatened. Are you? No. But that's not fair, you spent years getting onto your level.

“Can we just eat, ‘pa? Let's just leave work behind for just one night?” you asked curtly despite the tension growing between you and your father.

“I’m starting to think you might actually be obsessed with her.” Your father casually said, chuckling slightly thinking you wouldn't take it seriously.

But something just snapped in you.

“Shut up!” Your response came out sharper than intended, your frustration seeping into your tone.

Your father flinched slightly as he was shocked by the suddenness of your outburst making him stop cutting the steak he was eating. The sound of the fork and knife rattling against his porcelain plate echoed in the brief and awkward moment of silence that followed.

You breathe heavily, “I studied her for almost half of my life! I was the one who tracked her down!” Your voice started to rise, and you gesticulated wildly as you spoke, feeling the heat of anger rising. He thinks this is funny?You wished he understood how excruciating this is for you. You have kept this to yourself for so long, keeping it under control but at this point, you're starting to crack.

“She was my mission! I know every fiber of her being for fuck’s sake! Soviet Intelligence to KGB, Red Room,” you listed off furiously, “How she thinks, who she killed and how she’s done each kill!”

“You think this is easy on me, Papa?” you looked at him clenching your brows together, trying not to break down in front of him. “Go easy on her? How about go easy on me?”

“Fuck, go easy on me,” you repeated, muttering under your breath. You sobbed and immediately got up your chair to retire for the night.

You never had any major disagreements with him and even now, you were aware that you had crossed a line by yelling and cursing at his own home, it's the rules he strictly maintained especially when you were younger. You have always been so respectful of him. Hell, you look up to him—the man was your hero.

“Your mother was a Hydra agent before I met her.” He suddenly spoke, the mention of your mother made you stop from your tracks. Fury's voice took on a softer tone as he continued. “The level 10 S.H.I.E.L.D. director falling in love with one of the affiliates of a terrorist organization. What would the world think of me?” He chuckled to himself.

Fury stumbled upon your mother when she was still under the control of Hydra. He had managed to rescue her from their clutches, though she was still imprisoned for the reason that she contributed to the Hydra’s hell-bent expenditure.

To secure her freedom, your mother agreed to work as an undercover agent for Fury, infiltrating Hydra's ranks. It was a dangerous task, but she had hoped it would give her the chance to start anew with you and leave Hydra’s ties behind.

She had died of sickness when you were just 13 years old, but even before that, Fury had adopted you.

“Like you, I knew her too. Every experiment she has done with Hydra, every network operative, plans to overthrow the world government…” he had his own list too. “Her birthday, where she was born, that she was an only child and then I learned her favorite flower, her favorite food, and that she gets rashes when she eats eggs…like you.”

You stood with your back to him, silently crying as you clench your fists together. Each tear rolling down on your cheeks whenever Fury listed off everything she knows about your mom.

“And then,” he said quietly, “I found out she had a little version of herself, you. I found out that you were the light of her life, her reason for living. She loved you more than anything in this world. And I did too, Y/N.”

You felt Fury approach you from behind, his footsteps echoing faintly on the floor. As he spoke, you could tell he was now standing right behind you.

“I was losing hope for the world, I was tired of putting everything back in place. Everyone might think that I spared her, gave her another chance. But your mother was the one who gave me a reason to give life another chance, she changed me. You both did.”

“I miss her,” you managed to say between gasps of air. Unable to hold back anymore, you crumble into your father's embrace. Fury wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as you cried into his chest. He gently stroked your back, comforting you as you let your emotions pour out.

“I do too, baby,” he whispered quietly, “I miss her, too.”

The Call: Masterlist

[thetorturedbuckydepartment]

chapter one: the briefing

pairing: Bucky barnes x plus-sized!SHIElD!reader

masterlist

summary: being a SHIELD agent, you have a knack for analysing people, particularly when it comes to attraction. you have everyone figured out, sorted away into the boxes you've created. But there's one man you can never seem to figure out, the very bane of your existence -- Bucky Barnes. On the field, he is a saint, helping you dodge bullets and taking knife wounds in your name. Around the building? Public menace number one, always poised to insult or to spar with you.

After being sent on a 6-month-long torture-cum-vacation with the very man, could all this change? Could you finally figure out what has been bubbling beneath the surface for years between the two of you, the juggernaut that you know you cannot stop?

warnings: mentions of sex, mentions of murder, dead parents, scars, trauma, implied slutshaming, mentions of guns and shooting and bombs, mentions of wanting to die, dark content, reader is implied to be bisexual (I cannot fathom not being attracted to women SORRY NOT SORRY), reader is implicitly stated to be NOT A MAN

word count: 3.4k

A/N: omg it's here! had so much fun writing this, hope you all enjoy it too! im still working out a schedule for this, as ive currently written 3 chapters and am already at about 10k words! and im currently very inspired for my own, non-fanfic WIP, so im split! hope you enjoy, and as always, let me know if you liked it! comments and reblogs are much appreciated <3

Human attraction can be sorted into three little boxes: Sexual, romantic, platonic. It is somewhat of a threeway Venn diagram, and people find themselves travelling in between the perfectly drawn circles all the time. It is a marvel to some, to be able to gauge the section in which one stands with a simple glance. It’s a gift, you’ve found, having the knack to discern between the three attractions. Which means you’ve cracked the code on people, and know exactly how to assess and engage accordingly. 

It’s how you find yourself in such a predicament as the following, quite often:

“You’re Butterscotch, aren’t you?” The voice is meek, quiet, and comes from directly behind you. You’ve just put down the weights at the gym, and have paused to take a drink from your water bottle, when you turn to assess the situation. 

Long brown hair, blue eyes. Gorgeously shy smile as she tucks a strand behind her ear. Your whole body moves, reacting to the incarnation of Aphrodite herself in front of you. You suppose you’ve always seen women that way, to be wholly more beautiful on average compared to men. It’s how you often find yourself in bed with a woman not unlike the one before you. 

She stands, slyly pushing her breasts together and leaning into you, whether it be subconscious or not, batting her long eyelashes.  Sexual attraction, then. You smile, deciding to play it cool, taking another long sip of water, silently reveling in the way her eyes stick on your wet lips. 

“Yeah, that’s me. And you, you’re Hazel, aren’t you?” You tip your head to one side in faux innocence, honing you eyes in on her in a way you know sends shivers down her spine, completely hypnotised by the way you silently call to her. She nods, surprised that you’ve remembered her from her initiation training 6 months ago. She was one of the older recruits, only two or three years younger than you, but valuable just the same.

“I’ve been following your career for a while now, and I must say I really look up to you.” Her lips twist into a grin, showing off her perfect teeth. Your own face darkens as you inject lust into it, and you watch as she tries to discreetly squeeze her thighs together. She’ll be eating right out of your hand in no time.

If she’d come to you 13 years ago, when you were just starting out, you would’ve wanted to tell her that all you are interested in is a promise of casualty. Nothing more, and certainly nothing less, but the absence of such a discussion did land you in hot water all that time ago. Now, your reputation precedes you, and you doubt there is a single soul in this building who doesn’t know your one-and-done policy. Of course, some of the agents surprise you and you have them on a staggered rotation, a new criteria you’ve introduced into your sex life once the gap between you and fresh faces widened to an immoral degree.

You open your mouth to give her a reply that will make her leave here with sticky thighs, when the most agitating, grating voice you’ve been almost tortured with for the past eight years echoes across the gym, calling to you.

“Let’s go Butterface, Fury had a brief for us twenty minutes ago. You can fuck around later.” You roll your eyes at the words of none other than James Buchanan Barnes, huffing out a breath. He’s done this to embarrass you, for sure, because you know for a fact that Fury’s briefing for the next mission is actually in ten minutes from right now. But you know if you showed up on time, he gets the upper hand for coming in earlier.

That’s the other reason you’re so famous around the building — your long-term feud with Bucky. Whenever the two of you end up in a meeting room, there are more insults hurled around than facts. You two love to spar together, finding any excuse to leave bruises on the other’s body. But the most damning thing? There is no better team than the both of you out on the field, your missions always resulting in the lowest casualties and highest success rates SHIELD has ever seen. It’s an eternal mystery, but to the two of you, it is clear enough. You are enemies, holding the dagger of sharp-edged insults to each other’s throats, but on a mission? It must all be put aside for the greater good, for the safety of others. The remarks are snarky but non-distracting, and you’ve jumped in front of a bullet for him more times than you would like to admit. But it doesn’t matter, because he has endured several injuries for you in turn as well. 

You redirect your attention back to your self-sacrificial prey for tonight. “Well, if you need me, I’ll be available at my room on floor 13 at around ten.” You lean in to whisper into her ear, and drag a less-than-innocent finger down the side of her neck. “I can give you a few more ways to look up to me, if you’d like.” The lower octave does something to her, and you watch her eyes flutter shut as she realises you’ve gladly accepted the silent offer she was handing you on a silver platter. 

You chuckle, at how easy it all is. And then spin on your heel, marching back to begrudgingly follow behind the tall brunette who seems to have a permanent scowl on his face whenever he’s in the same room as you. 

He leans back against the cool metal of the elevator that will send the both of you to the top, arms crossed across his broad chest. If you didn’t hate his guts, you’d absolutely suck him dry, right here right now. It’s no surprise that he is the most beautiful man in the building, but his attitude and mannerisms have long turned you off from him.

You poke the bear.

“What happened, Barnes? You mad nobody’ll fuck you?” He turns to you then, blue eyes blazing. And it only makes your shit-eating grin widen.

“Why would I ever be mad at that? I’m mad because we have to go on a mission, and when I come to get you, you’re busy planning on how to… spend your night. Again. At this point, if they’ve got a pulse they probably meet your standards, don’t they?” He smiles cruelly, and you don’t miss the implications. But you don’t care. If you were a man, they’d be singing your praises in the streets. So why is it different now?

“If they have a pulse? Well, if that were the case, then you…” You let your eyes wander up and down, and you notice his hard shell cracking when you meet his eyes again. You smile widens and you feign a blush, and he begins to smile, thinking he’s got you. And then you throw a grenade into whatever fantasy he’s spinning in his head. “Would be dead.” Your voice has never been more cold, observing the way his shoulders slouch in something akin to disappointment.

This is his kryptonite that you love exploiting, so much. The man is wickedly attracted to you, and is equally as horrid at hiding it. You have no idea what kind, though. Which box he fits into. You’re certain it’s not platonic given the way he talks to you. The longing glances and delicate touches after missions where you end up injured had turned you towards romantic, but you know there is no denying the way his eyes drift to your cleavage when you spar, or the way his hands immediately find your hips when you best him in the ring and end up straddling him. There is no box you can put him in, and it drives you up the damn wall.

You briefly wonder what the two of you would be doing in this elevator right now if you were as attracted to him and either of you had made it known. 

The elevator pings and the both of you break the burning, seething eye contact as you file into Meeting Room 17B.

“Right, before Barnes’ dick explodes at the thought of me fucking a woman, what’s the mission chief.” Barnes has the nerve to blush, sitting in the chair opposite yours, both facing the head of the table with a monitor where Fury and Stark both stand.

“Did your mother never teach you the difference between professional and casual?” He fires back, and you grin sadistically, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning back.

“She’s dead, Barnes. Have some decorum, and maybe a modicum of respect?” His face falls, knowing he’s crossed a line, but if God Himself came down and told Bucky to apologise, he’d shake hands with the Devil. “What about your father then?” He is frantically searching you for any sign of hurt or discomfort that he can exploit, you can tell by the way his eyes stick to your every feature.

“Hard to when you’re in prison for murdering your wife and attempting to murder your child.” You turn to Stark, knowing you’ve rendered him absolutely speechless. Out of the corner of your eye, you see his mouth close and open like a fish, gasping for some air. Pathetic, really, but well-deserved. In all these years, you’re surprised it took him this long to blame your upbringing, often opting to attack you as a person directly. But you finally got to play the cards you’ve kept close to your chest, a sick and twisted punishment. That means that you win, today.

“Thats 236 for Butterscotch, and Barnes is still on 220,” Tony mutters, and you can’t hide your competitive side that comes out.

You turn to him, tutting. “Keep up, Barnes. I thought you were better competition than this. Pathetic.” You’re shaking your head in mock disappointment. A blood-tinged vignette passes around in the back of your mind, but you try your best to not let it show.

The arguments between you and Bucky as so well-known to get out of hand, the Avengers started keeping score, refreshing each year, of who won the argument. This is strictly judged based on how the final retort leaves the other unable to think of a comeback. You’ve bested him 236 times already, and it’s only February.

“You didn’t tell me about your parents,” he grumbles, cheeks pink in humiliation. Why is he backing down so easily today?

“I don’t owe you shit, Barnes. Especially not about my life before I got here. Sorry, Fury, should we start the briefing?” You divert the attention back to the matter at hand, feeling like maybe you went a tiny bit too far by calling him pathetic to his face. 

Since when have you ever nurtured a soft spot for him? Well, you are certainly not going to be starting today.

With both of your mouths shut and eyes attentive, Fury begins to speak.

“We need the two of you to go undercover. We have intel that Senator Parker may be dealing with copious amounts of methamphetamines, involving using his house as a lab and distribution centre. He often targets teens of ethnic backgrounds to carry the drugs and deal them in exchange for cuts — he chooses them this way so they would almost immediately go to prison, and nobody would be let off scot-free to rat him out.” Tony flashes up several holograms of the Senator, the teens caught pressing white packets into palms, and even those who ended up behind bars, and have continued to distribute the drugs from within.

“So…why do we need to go undercover?” You ask, leaning forward in your seat so you could see the graphics better.

“Well…here is Parker’s dating history…” Why does Tony sound so reluctant as he pulls up the dating history? Why is that relevant? These are just some of the questions that swirl around your mind, and are evident in your scrunched up face.

Bucky is watching you, quietly. Observing your features, observing you. He can’t help it — the grace with which you walk, the crudeness with which you speak…it’s entrancing. And you know it. He hates it. 

Then, slowly, the pictures begin to appear — there are 17 women. Every single one of them looks like you — the same colour hair, the same colour eyes. Similar face shapes and similar body types. It’s like there’s 18 of you in the room.

“I’m a honeytrap?”

Fury is quick to speak, to protest the misunderstanding that the mission is an objectification of you. “No….well yes. We have carefully constructed a plan that essentially is built on the fact that you happen to be—“

“Exactly his type?” Bucky asks, feeling shame crawl up his spine at the realisation that he has something in common with a drug lord. You look at him as he speaks, and feel more and more confused by the second.

“Yes.” Tony continues. “We’ve planned to plant you in the same cul-de-sac that Parker’s house resides on, and Butterscotch can use the fact that she’s his type to sway him, win his trust. You’ll have to play the long game with him, he’s known to barely let anyone in his house unless he wants to fuck them.”

You feel a sickness coat your stomach. “Will I have to fuck him? Because I’d rather shoot Barnes and then myself and blow up this building.” You chew your lip nervously, all the confidence can your body momentarily evaporating. The old man might just be one of the worst people you’ve ever heard of when it comes to drug trafficking. Not to mention any sexual gratification is just you stepping into a stereotype of what he wants, that you are just another woman with the similar face that he wants to put his dick in. It makes your skin crawl, and you run your fingernails harshly along your forearm.

“No.” To your surprise, it’s Bucky who speaks up. He meets your eyes for a brief moment, before turning to Fury and Tony. “No, right? She clearly doesn’t want to, don’t tell me you’re gonna make her.” He sounds oddly protective over you here, which he has no right to be. But you can’t fight him, not over this.

“No, no, of course not. You won’t have to do anything you don’t want to. At most you’ll have to flirt with him, make him think he’s going to….y’know, with you. And use that advantage to sneak into his house. You won’t have to do anything you don’t want to, Butterscotch. You know we’d never do that to you, that it’s against our ethics and values.” You nod, relaxing in your seat while Bucky stares at the red, raw skin of your forearm. He wants to soothe it, he wants to soothe you—

“And if I’m going, obviously you’re gonna send the Sergeant with me, aren’t you?” They nod in unison. You take a deep breath, knowing you have to take it. There will be no mission more satisfying. And Bucky is much more bearable when the both of you have a common goal.

“So what exactly is our cover?” Bucky perks up. The both of you wear the suit of civility so quickly when you have to do your jobs. 

Fury scratches his neck, exchanging a nervous glance with Tony. You anticipate the answer, knowing it will not be to your liking.

“We’ve planned to plant you in the Acorn suburb in Claremont, just across the street from Parker’s residence, for around six months. It’s a nice, quaint little city, I think the both of you would like it. It’s a lot more green, and less noisy and polluted than New York—.”

“Tony,” you warn, glaring at him. He is omitting the information. Why?

“Fine! The suburbs are conservative as shit, so you’re going as husband and wife!” Your eyes widen, and you swear you lose hearing for a second as the world goes in and out of focus. You have to pretend to be married. Pretending to be in love, you could do — in fact, you could probably pass off most intel exchanges with him as lovers’ private conversations if you smile and laugh on the right cues.

But marriage? The sanctity of which has been so thoroughly, irrevocably spoiled for you? The very reason you have only ever wanted casual in your entire life, as opposed to commitment? You can’t breathe.

You try to hide your shaky hands as you reach for the glass of water, downing it and gasping for breath. All that runs through your mind is the only instance of a married man you’ve ever known, and how it ended. How you ended, body mutilated in enough scars to rival Bucky’s left shoulder, crying out for a bloodied corpse in the back of an ambulance while the paramedics did their best to save you. How you wish they would’ve failed sometimes. 

It’s too much.

“I need time to think.” You all but run out of the door, and you think the chair falls with the force of your escape, but your heart is beating too fast for you to be certain. Sweat that had dried reappears at your hairline, beading and dripping down your face. You sit on the floor, clutching at your chest as you’re bombarded by the most horrifying images that not even the strongest of sleeping pills can shake. Your eyes squeeze shut and someone is calling your name. Not Butterscotch, but the name that heinous monster chose for you when you were still in your mother’s womb.

But even that turns out to be a hallucination, your head in your hands as you hear a familiar voice call to you.

“Butterface…is the idea of being married to me that bad?” You freeze. Bucky is here, why is Bucky here? You look up to be met with him crouching by your side, Tony on the other with a hand on your shoulder, and Fury standing tall. There is not a single hint of disappointment on his face, and you’re glad.

You turn to Tony. “You know…you know what…I can’t. You know why….Tony…” His face morphs into one of intense melancholia, pulling you into him. Ever since you started working more closely together with Bucky, he’s become something of a big brother to you — overly protective and affectionately annoying.

“I know, kid. You know what? Screw this, I’ll find some other agent who looks close to you to take over with Barnes.” His voice finally calms you down, and you take in deep breaths.

You can’t win them all. You’ll have to make some sacrifices. You pull away from Tony’s arms, not even daring to glance at Bucky. He doesn’t need to see what you look like when you’re vulnerable, because you know he will do everything in his power to bring you to such a state once again, just to hurt you.

You take several deep breaths.

“No. You and Fury have said it yourself, so many times. Nobody works better with James than I do, at least not in the field. My burning hatred for him is completely personal. I— I can do it. It’s just…I probably would’ve been fine but it got brought up and it was all I could really think about and then…it just sent me over the edge. But if Barnes promises to not be as big of an asshole as he usually is, I can make it work.” You don’t even risk a glance at him.

“I won’t be. I’ll behave. Plus, you are a lot more tolerable out on the field, so it shouldn’t be so hard. Promise, it’ll all be okay.” His tone sounds so…sincere? What on earth is up with him today? You spare him a glance, and his eyes shine brilliantly blue. And you believe him.

Bucky Barnes may be an asshole, but he would never lie to you. Especially when it concerns a mission, where miscommunications and secrets have consequences for people outside the both of you. He has at least this sense of loyalty about him.

“Alright. Guess I better get packing for Claremont, then.” 

NEXT PART

[terapsina]

Now that the writers and actors strike is about to begin being felt (and as we wait for those greedy billion dollar companies who are refusing to negotiate fair pay and conditions to give up) here's 10 of my favorite (all around best) fully finished older series you should definitely check out if you haven't watched.

I mean it, these are the shows with continuously great writing and a satisfying endings that manage to actually deliver on their promises.

-----

1. Leverage - (containing 5 seasons, or 77 episodes) - trailer here.

Hitter, Hacker, Grifter, Thief and Mastermind. Heists and cons. Stealing from the rich and giving to their victims. They provide... leverage.

Meant for anyone who enjoys bad guys being the best good guys, who will burn down the lives of evil CEOs and then gloat in the background. Very satisfying.

Hands down the best example of a found family trope I've ever seen on screen. Barring none.

2. Killjoys - (containing 5 seasons, or 50 episodes) - trailer here.

Space Bounty Hunters. Another case of found family trope. Bisexual space princess assassin. Quippy sentient ship. Green alien goo. Evil lesbians (but like... in a good way). The warrant is all.

More seriously though, it's a story about three killjoys and the bounties they go after. Initially. And then they have to save the entire Quad from some very terrifying... stuff.

Contains one of the best friendships I've ever seen on television.

3. Orphan Black - (containing 5 seasons, or 50 episodes) - trailer here.

Found family trope but with clones.

Low level grifter sees a woman who looks exactly like her kill herself and plans to take over her identity long enough to cash out. Except then there's two other women who also look exactly like her. And apparently they're all clones and someone's killing them.

Enter a global conspiracy. Human experimentation. Lots of clone shenanigans. Some serial killings. And a few murders 💖.

4. Person of Interest - (containing 5 seasons, or 103 episodes) - trailer here.

Okay I'm beginning to see how I might have a found family trope issue.

Former CIA agent gets recruited by a reclusive billionaire computer programmer who developed a... machine that can predict acts of terror before they happen. But it also predicts 'irrelevant' acts of violence that will result in someone's death.

Unless someone interferes.

I'd really like to spoil some stuff to get you all to watch this one. But I'm going to maintain self control and just mention that early on they get a dog named Bear. Bear is a very good boy. Watch it for Bear.

Also for excellent commentary on rights of privacy, government surveillance and what does 'greater good' even mean? But mostly Bear.

5. 12 Monkeys - (containing 4 seasons, or 47 episodes) - trailer here.

The very best time travel show out there. What starts out as a confusing mess of causality basically exploding, by the end of the series all makes complete and total sense.

(when that final timey-whimey loop slid into place and revealed the entire pattern it was like a choir of angels started singing in the back of my head. It was freaking glorious).

Anyway, a man from a post apocalyptic future travels into the past to stop a plague from decimating nearly the entire world population.

He has the name of the man who released the virus and it's supposed to be a single trip. One trip. One bullet. Simple. Done.

Except then things keep escalating, and escalating until time begins eating its own tail and it might start looking like the end of the world might be a better ending than erasing all of time and space from reality.

Because when our guys screw it up, they screw it up GOOD.

And oh yeah... found family.

6. The Good Place - (containing 4 seasons, or 53 episodes) - trailer here.

A self-proclaimed Arizona dirtbag opens her eyes and finds out that she's dead and got accepted in the Good Place. Except that as soon as she arrives the Good Place starts glitching, and she really, REALLY needs to become a better person before she can be found out and kicked out to the Bad Place.

Luckily her assigned soulmate was a professor of ethics and moral philosophy.

One of the funniest, most thoughtful and clever comedies I've ever watched. Ever. The characters are delightful and by the time the final minute rolled around I had sobbed my heart out multiple times (which, as we all know, is a sign of the very best comedies out there).

As for the question of whether or not this too contains Found Fami- Yes! Obviously, yes.

7. Avatar: the Last Airbender - (containing 3 seasons, or 61 episodes) - intro here (couldn't locate the trailer but it's basically the same thing in this case).

The four nations lived in harmony. Until the Fire Nation attacked.

It's been a hundred years since the beginning of the war when two kids from the Southern Water Tribe find a boy frozen in ice and wake him up. A boy who's able to bend all four elements... though not very well.

Enter multi-nation flying road trip (thank you Appa, we love you most of all) as they try to find teachers for the Avatar and save the world.

Includes found family (shut up), amazing fight scenes, the most heartfelt and vivid characters ever, and the best example of a redemption arc actually done well.

8. Love Between Fairy and Devil - (containing 1 season, or 36 episodes) - trailer here.

This one gutted me. I'm saying this as a compliment. But it had to be said. Completely destroyed me. I just haven't been the same.

A love story between an Orchid Fairy and the leader of the Moon Tribe that starts out with her accidentally releasing him from millennia long imprisonment and then takes you through the caleidoscope of all possible human emotions (it's a body-swap comedy through the first part, then a romcom, then a dramatic romantic tale, and finally a tragic love story).

But it's such a satisfying slow burn.

And it carries this... humanity through the whole thing that makes it so visceral.

If you're a romantic who's very tired of instalove and characters dropping all their morals because 'ooh, attractive person' then you've got to watch this. Because this story does NOT take the easy road there.

(my more extensive rec for this series can be found here)

9. Star Wars: The Clone Wars - (containing 7 seasons, or 133 episodes) - fanmade trailer here (it was better than any of the official ones).

This series did so much. Introduced Ahsoka Tano, and made us love her. Gave names and faces and souls to the Clone Troopers (okay, it's the same face but you know what I mean), to a point where their endings during Order 66 destroyed me just as much as the ending of the Jedi Order. And somehow made me both love Anakin AND be a million times more angry with him.

There are some arcs in this series that might be a bit weaker. But there were some... god, there's a reason I love Clone Wars more than any other series or trilogy in this universe. And I'm not even a little ashamed to say it.

Must watch for Disaster Lineage shenanigans; for the vod'e; AND for the Jedi (who did their best okay? They always did their best 😭💔).

(and on the subject of found family... do I even need to comment)

10. Nikita - (containing 4 seasons, or 73 episodes) - trailer here.

A rogue assassin that escaped Division - covert government agency that takes recruits out of prison, fakes their deaths and then forces them to become spies and assassins - has come back to take it down. Brick by brick if she has to. With guns and explosives too when that works better.

Contains soooo many cool fight scenes. Is full of incredible characters you'll fall in love with (and hate with) very quickly. And most of all has an incredibly complex relationship of mentorship and friendship between two women that holds both great admiration and betrayal, real care and love as well as rage and hatred, forgiveness, mutual respect and an unbreakable kind of bond that so very rarely involves even one female character on TV, let alone two.

(as usual, found family tropes up the wazzoo).

-----

In conclusion. We all know there's going to be a large space between seasons of our favorite shows now (and some shows that aren't going to survive it). Let's fill that space with some excellent TV we haven't had a chance to see yet.

And direct the blame for the wait towards the right place (i.e. the studios).

[ghostinthelibrarywrites]

The stranger the better

A belated fill for Day 6 of @painlandweek. I wanted to write a meet cute for the free day, so I decided to write something set in the same AU as When the bones are good, set about three years before that fic. You can either read the first chapter below or here on AO3.

Prompt: Free Day

Word count: 3K

Rating: M

Warnings: none

Summary: After transferring to the London office of the Ministry of Supernatural Investigations, Charles meets his new partner, the famously brilliant—and infamously difficult—Agent Edwin Payne. Edwin is less excited to find himself with a new partner, especially one who’s so distractingly smiley.

***

“Difficult. Impetuous. Cheerfully disobedient.” Director Asa Nurse of the Ministry of Supernatural Investigations’ London office gazes at Charles from across her desk, reminding him more than a little of the terrifying babysitter his parents used to leave him with when he was a kid. “Director Buchanan over at the Birmingham office had quite a bit to say about you, Agent Rowland.”

“At least I’m cheerful?” Charles flashes what he knows for a fact is a winning smile.

She’s unaffected, as he expected she would be. You don’t get to be in Director Nurse’s position by being easily won over by smiles. “Six months in the MSI and you’ve already wracked up four official reprimands. That’s quite a feat.”

“At least one of those was bull… nonsense.”

“Oh? The Maggie Ramirez case, I assume?” Director Nurse has a way of speaking so every word lands like a slap. He wonders what it would be like to get an official reprimand from her and decides that he doesn’t want to know.

“Wasn’t going to kill a ten year old girl, was I? Not even if she was possessed by a demon. And now she’s alive and home with her parents, the demon’s back in Hell where it belongs, and everyone except Director Buchanan is happy. I’d say I made the right call.”

“Two of your fellow agents were injured in the fight.”

“They survived. She wouldn’t have if I’d followed orders. To me, a dead little kid is a worse result than a few broken bones. Most of my fellow agents would agree.”

He thinks that the lines around her mouth soften a bit. She’s as inscrutable as she was two years ago when she walked into the Tesco where he was working and asked him if he believed in the supernatural. He’s pretty sure she’s even wearing the same brown pantsuit, her red hair in the same twists that almost look like devil’s horns. He’s hoping that the fact that she recruited him herself will endear him to her. Otherwise, there’s a good chance that she’ll show him the door and it’s not like he can go back to Birmingham.

“However.” Director Nurse glances at her computer screen. “Your former partner, Douglas O’Connor, says that you’re bright, quick on your feet, compassionate, and one of the most promising young agents he’s ever worked with. He thinks you have the potential to be a real asset to the MSI.”

“Dougie was a good partner.” And the reason Charles held out at the Birmingham office as long as he did, to be honest. He only applied for the transfer after O’Connor told him he was retiring to go be closer to his daughter and grandkids in Cornwall. Otherwise, he would have at least stuck it out for a year. He's not a quitter.

Director Nurse sits back in her chair, regarding Charles like he’s an interesting lab rat. “Director Buchanan and I worked together for many years until he transferred to Birmingham. We didn’t always see eye to eye.”

Charles bites back a reply. To say he and Buchanan don’t “see eye to eye” would be a wild understatement. His former director is a burly man with a mustache who likes to yell and slam doors. The first time he lost his temper and slammed his fist into Charles’s desk, only inches from his hand, Charles knew Birmingham wasn’t going to work for him. But it’s not like he can tell Nurse that he hates Buchanan because he reminds him too much of his cunt of a father, not without sounding like a petulant teenager.

“Would you say you’re good with people, Agent Rowland?”

Charles blinks, surprised by the change of topic. “Yeah, I’m aces with people. Just not Buchanan.”

She hums, gaze still focused on him. It’s starting to become eerie; he’s not sure if she’s even blinked since he walked into this office. “Agent O’Connor mentioned in his letter of reference that you have a way of putting witnesses, victims, and even suspects at ease.”

Charles nods in agreement.

“He also said that you saved his life twice, once by taking a potentially fatal curse meant for him.”

“Wouldn’t have killed me,” Charles says with more confidence than he feels. If there hadn’t been a witch on hand to immediately administer the countercurse, he’s been told his heart probably would have stopped within a minute. But there hadn’t been time to calculate his own chance of survival versus Dougie’s; he had just acted.

Nurse hums in a way he can’t quite parse. “According to your instructors, you proved to be adequate at spellwork during training. You don’t have the focus required to have true talent. Disappointing, but not everyone has the gift.”

Charles coughs to hide his wince. He honestly can’t tell how this meeting is going.

“Yet, you proved yourself exceptional at hand-to-hand combat.”

“It’s all the cricket,” Charles says, because he can’t think of a single other bloody thing to say. Director Nurse was intimidating when he was a directionless, scared kid barely making ends meet and desperate to find a purpose in life besides scanning groceries. Now, she’s somehow even more so. “Good at… swinging things.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Her eyebrow inches higher, as if to ask “really?” “Based on your work history, however brief, and your letter of recommendation from Agent O’Connor, I do think you’ll have a place here in London. So long as you learn how to adjust your attitude and follow orders .”

He knows that the only words out of his mouth should be, “Yes, thank you, ma’am,” but he’s never been good at biting his tongue. “As long as you don’t order me to kill a little kid, I’ll do my best.”

Her lips purse. “You don’t make things easy for yourself, do you, Agent Rowland?”

Charles tries for another smile. “Have I mentioned how happy I am to be here?”

She blows out a breath. “You know, I think I might have the perfect partner in mind for you.”

***

“In shocking news, the cause of death seems to be the giant fucking crater in his skull,” Dr. Jenny Green says.

Edwin gazes down at the corpse spread out on the autopsy table. Miles Foster, age thirty-two, approximately five foot ten, with chin-length blond hair, a snub nose, and a neatly trimmed beard to hide the faint acne scars on his cheek. He appears to be a specimen of excellent physical health, save for an ingrown toenail on his left foot and the aforementioned crater.

“Do you have any idea what caused it?” he asks.

“Well, it sure wasn’t natural causes,” Dr. Green says. “Too big to be a gunshot. No burns, so not a bomb. No claw marks or broken bones, so probably not a demon tearing its way out of him. Could have been blunt force trauma, but that usually results in the skull caving in, not exploding out.”

Edwin hums, leaning closer to examine the wound that ended Miles Foster’s life, a gaping hole where his forehead used to be. A messy way to die, but at least it was surely quick. Though having had his own skull cracked open on multiple occasions, Edwin cannot recommend it.

“What of his clothes?”

“They weren’t your style.”

Edwin sighs and pointedly stays silent. He finds Dr. Green to be more bearable company than many of his colleagues at the MSI, but he is in no mood for banter today, especially not now that he’s been reminded of what it’s like to look down at his hands and find his own brain matter there. He suppresses the urge to cover his head with his arms, as if that ever did him any good.

She rolls her eyes, but continues. “I’ve sent them to the lab, but mostly they were covered in exactly what you’d expect from clothes worn by someone whose brain exploded out of his face. It was a nice surprise before lunch.”

Before Edwin can point out that she’s been the MSI’s medical examiner for long enough that she should no longer be put off her food by viscera, the doors open and someone calls, “Hello?”

As one, Edwin and Dr. Green turn to stare at the young man standing in the doorway. He’s a few years younger than Edwin, probably in his early twenties, about six feet tall, with curly dark hair, golden brown skin, elfin features, and dark eyes. He must be an MSI agent if he’s strolled into the morgue—unless he’s a walking corpse, Edwin supposes—but nothing about him strikes Edwin as agent-like. Unlike the navy, gray, and black suits most of the ministry favors, his is a vibrant red. He even has an earring dangling from his left ear and a gold chain around his neck, which cannot be regulation. Most bizarrely, he has colorful badges pinned to the lapels of his suit jacket.

“Hi.” He gives a little wave. “Director Nurse sent me down here.”

“Did she,” Dr. Green says flatly. “I hope your skull’s not about to explode too? If it is, stand farther away from my coffee.”

“I don’t think so.” The newcomer smiles, eyes crinkling with mirth. “But I guess that’s not the kind of thing anyone sees coming, yeah?”

“And you are?” Edwin asks.

“Oh, sorry, mate.” The man closes the distance between them, holding out his hand to Dr. Green, only withdrawing it when he sees she’s wearing latex gloves covered in gore. Instead, he waves. “Charles Rowland. I just transferred from Birmingham.”

“Dr. Jenny Green.” She doesn’t return his wave. “You’re new, aren’t you?”

He looks a bit taken aback. “Just got here today.”

“And how long were you in Birmingham?”

“Six months,” he says with a small, barely there grimace.

“New.” She says it like an accusation. “Try not to get your rookie optimism all over my fucking lab.”

Far from being offended, Agent Rowland lets out a delighted peal of laughter. Dr. Green and Edwin exchange sidelong looks. Rookie optimism, indeed.

As Agent Rowland turns away from Dr. Green, Edwin reluctantly takes his hand to shake. He doesn’t care for touching strangers, but it can’t be helped. The man has slim, almost delicate fingers, not when Edwin would expect from a MSI agent. “Agent Edwin Payne. A pleasure.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard of you, mate.” Agent Rowland pumps his hand with far too much enthusiasm.

Ah, of course. Edwin tries not to flinch. He knows that his case has a certain amount of notoriety in the MSI. A sixteen year old boy who went missing in 1916 and reappeared in the basement of his old school nearly a century later, unaged and unchanged, except for his story of being subject to decades of torture, is the kind of case that not even the MSI gets often. The fact that no leads were ever found about where he went or what kind of entity took him makes it one of the MSI’s most interesting unsolved cases. Edwin believes they discuss it during training.

“You’re the one who closed the Ripper case, right?”

Edwin blinks. That wasn’t what he was expecting. The case of a vampire with an unfortunate fascination with London’s most notorious serial killer had gone unsolved for decades, with dozens of dead women to show for it. Edwin tracked down the killer after only a few months at the ministry. In retrospect, he wonders if that’s why so many of his fellow agents have disliked him from the start.

“I remember hearing about it in training,” Charles says. “Bloody brilliant, mate.”

Edwin searches his face for any sign of contempt or mockery, but his smile seems genuine, his brown eyes warm. “I got lucky, truly. He was arrogant and it made him careless.”

“Thirty years and no one else got lucky, did they?”

“I suppose not.”

Someone clears their throat pointedly and Edwin jumps. Under Agent Rowland’s warm brown eyes, he quite forgot about Dr. Green’s presence.

“Would you two like to keep chit-chatting?” Dr. Green asks acidly. “I can put the autopsy on hold, if you’d like. Give you two time to make friendship bracelets.”

Edwin feels his face flush with embarrassment. “No, please continue, Dr. Green.”

“Sorry, mate, didn’t mean to interrupt.” Agent Rowland turns his attention to the autopsy table.  “So, what happened to this poor bloke?”

Edwin would like to know what interest Agent Rowland, fresh from Birmingham, has in his case, but he is trying not to alienate his colleagues quite so much. Plus, he would rather make small talk about a dead man instead of polite chit-chat about the weather and how Agent Rowland is finding London so far.

“Miles Foster,” he says. “He was a yoga instructor and online influencer. This morning, he was filming a… live stream when his head exploded on camera, right in front of the tens of thousands of people watching.”

“And who says yoga is calming?” Agent Rowland flashes that beaming smile again and Edwin quite loses his train of thought for an instant.

Edwin clears his throat and tugs on his bow tie. “He was filming from his home, with only his girlfriend at home with him. When she heard him screaming, she went to see what the matter was and found him already dead. She claims no one else was in the house and there are no signs of a break in, nor a struggle.”

Agent Rowland is quiet for a moment, contemplating the corpse. “Once saw a demon rip a bloke’s head off from the inside and crawl out.”

“There are no obvious signs of demonic possession,” Edwin says. “Plus, he was on camera. I imagine one of his viewers would have noticed a demon crawling out of his skull.” He glances at Dr. Green. “It does make me think of the dandelion sprites we encountered two years ago.”

“Dandelion sprites?” Agent Rowland asks.

“Tiny gods that feed on adoration and attention. When they get their fill, they explode out of their victim and find a new host. One of our analysts had a run in with a pair of them. She now keeps them in a jar on her desk.”

Agent Rowland’s eyes go wide. “Alive?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Last time I saw a corpse that was killed by dandelion sprites, the inside of his skull was covered in that colorful goo,” Dr. Green says. “All that’s in this poor sucker’s skull is the scrambled remains of his gray matter.”

“Perhaps something related, then?” Edwin will have to rewatch the tape to see if he can see any small figures leaping out of Miles Foster’s skull at the moment of the explosion.

Agent Rowland must be thinking along similar lines. “Should take another look at those tapes, shouldn’t we? See if we see something besides brains come out of his head.”

“Yes, I will certainly do so,” Edwin says, annoyed. He’s been with the MSI in some capacity or another for a decade; he does not need this bright-eyed rookie telling him how to conduct his case. Even if the bright-eyed rookie does have one of the most magnetic smiles Edwin has ever seen, the kind of smile that makes him want to earn another one. “But I’m sure you have your own case to see to, Agent Rowland. I won’t keep you.”

“You’re not keeping me from anything. This is our case, isn’t it?” At Edwin’s uncomprehending look, Agent Rowland’s smile turns sheepish. “Sorry, mate, I thought Director Nurse would have told you already. I’ve been assigned to be your new partner.”

***

“There has been some sort of mistake.”

“She told me you’d say that.” Charles has to break into a light jog to keep up with Edwin Payne’s long, purposeful strides. They’re about the same height, but his new partner seems to be all legs.

“Director Nurse is a very busy woman. She may have gotten me mixed up with someone else.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s it.” Even if Director Nurse did seem like the absentminded sort, he can’t imagine anyone ever mistaking Edwin for someone else. There’s something a little strange about him, something that Charles can’t quite put his finger on. It intrigues him.

Edwin stops so abruptly that Charles nearly runs into him, turning to face him. “This isn’t personal, Agent Rowland—”

“Call me Charles, mate.”

“—But I simply do not work well with a partner,” Edwin continues, ignoring him entirely. “This is not the first time that Director Nurse has attempted to pair me up with someone, and it always goes poorly, I’m afraid.”

Charles shrugs. He can work well with just about anyone, so he can’t really relate, but he knew some partners who weren’t a good match for each other in Birmingham. It wasn’t a fun situation for anyone. “Sounds like you just haven’t found the right match, then.”

“There is no right match for me. I’m not good with people. I never was, not even before—” He breaks off with a wince. “Suffice to say, it’s best that we get this sorted out as soon as possible. There are plenty of perfectly capable agents in this office who I’m sure will be delighted to be partnered with you. I am not one of them.”

Before Charles can retort, Edwin is barreling ahead again, rounding the corner. “Director Nurse!”

Charles follows him around the corner and finds Edwin hurrying towards Director Nurse, who is coming towards him, flanked by her two assistants. When she sees Edwin, she rolls her eyes at the ceiling.

“For goodness’s sake,” she says. “Not this again, Agent Payne. I am on my way to a meeting and I do not have the time.”

“This will only take a moment, Director.” Edwin stops in front of her, fists pressed tightly together. He’s replaced the latex gloves he wore in the morgue with brown leather ones, like Charles’s grandfather used to wear whenever he went for a drive. Between the gloves and his slightly askew bow tie, he has the peculiar air of someone who stepped out of time. “I believe there has been a mix up.”

“There are no mix ups here,” Director Nurse says severely. “As you well know. Agent Rowland is your new partner.”

“I do not need a partner.”

“That isn’t for you to decide.”

“I am not the only agent without a partner here.” Something like a whine creeps into Edwin’s voice. “Agents Palace and King—”

“Are both more than capable of defending themselves, plus Agent Palace has her psychic abilities and Agent King has his shapeshifting.”

“He turns into a bloody tabby cat!”

She raises one unimpressed eyebrow. “Are you going to start carrying a weapon? Or finally agree to take remedial combat training?”

To Charles’s surprise, Edwin’s cheeks flush. “I don’t need combat training or a weapon. Any deficiency I may have with combat, I make up for with my spellwork.”

“Ah, so Agents Palace, King, Kahn, and Black didn’t have to retrieve you from a Fae court only last month? Saving you from being executed, I might add?”

“That was an isolated incident.”

“One of dozens of isolated incidents, ” she says. “I have sent enough agents to rescue you from towers and train tracks, Agent Payne. No, we are quite finished with that. If you want to continue working in the field, it needs to either be with the basic knowledge of how to defend yourself or a partner who is skilled enough in combat for the both of you.”

 Edwin turns to look at Charles with a raised eyebrow. “And he is?”

“Oi.” Charles is trying not to take any of this personally, because it seems that Edwin would object to any partner, not just him, but it’s hard not to take that personally. “Top of my class, actually. You don’t need to be built like a brick shithouse to know how to throw a punch.”

Edwin’s eyes flick over Charles, so quickly he thinks he might imagine it, before he turns back to Director Nurse. “I do not work well with people.”

“Then it’s about time you learn, isn’t it?” She smiles sweetly, though her eyes are ice cold. “Or I’ll have to reconsider if you even belong in the field.”

Edwin’s already impeccable posture somehow becomes even straighter and stiffer.  “I would be wasted behind a desk.”

“And you’ll be wasted if you end up dead in a ditch because you’re too stubborn to learn to defend yourself!”

“How about this?” Charles steps forward to stand next to Edwin, hoping to diffuse things before Edwin says something that gets him an official reprimand. “One case. We work the Miles Foster case together and if it’s a bloody mess, we go our separate ways. But if it’s aces, and it’s going to be aces, we stick together, yeah? Then no one’s wasted behind a desk or ends up dead in a ditch.”

“I am not going to end up dead in a ditch,” Edwin grumbles.

Director Nurse ignores him, looking between Edwin and Charles thoughtfully. “One case,” she agrees. “But, Agent Payne, know that if this case is a bloody mess, as Agent Rowland puts it, we will have to discuss your future at the MSI. As things stand now, you are a liability in the field, and I do not tolerate liabilities at my ministry. And now, I have a meeting that I’m now quite late to.”

With that, she stalks by them, her assistants on her heels. One of them shoots Charles a sympathetic grimace, which he returns with a smile.

“Well, then,” Charles says once they’ve disappeared from sight. “Looks like we have a case to solve, doesn’t it?”

Edwin is still staring straight ahead, gloved fists pressed tightly together and posture so stiff it looks like he may snap. “This will most likely be a bloody mess, just so you’re aware.”

“Nah, mate.” Charles claps him on the shoulder, withdrawing his hand quickly when Edwin grows even more tense under his hand. Doesn’t like touch, got it. “This is going to be aces.”

*** 

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed, please consider leaving comments or kudos on AO3. The next two chapters will be posted over there.

[jd07201990]

Did you know the Military has a few specialized forces, in their Marketing and PR divisions? Sure, there are the Psyops agents working in Gaming Studios, ensuring impressionable minds are drilled with how exciting and fun war and fighting battles are. But then there are the Recruiters. You ever notice the are no unattractive recruiters? Even more so, the Jarheads that stomp around Schools, riling up future cannon-fodder, are always massive, aesthetic wonders. GI-Joe’s right out of Basic, pumped full of Redbull and creatine, reeking of testosterone. They grunt and yell, challenging Football Players to pullup contests, or holding pens in our hands, arms stretched out. Then at the end of the year, they snag a few meatheads, sign them up, and off they go, to the be broken down, emptied out, and rebuilt into Fighting Bulls, who’s only goal in life is to travel from base to base, all over the Country, playing with big-boy toys, and leaving pretty women with a 9-month US Army Issued time-bomb, and a lifetime reminder of the true purpose of the Military. Numbers. Why am I telling you this? Because by tomorrow, I won’t know any difference. I’m a designated Recruiter, my family’s classic good looks a curse when the Marines showed up at school Senior year. I wasn’t stupid enough to fall for their tricks, but that doesn’t matter when it’s the US Army’s word, against a Mathlete. Well, ex-mathlete. The only numbers I can think about now, are how many reps to break my personal record, and how many bellies are out there, swelling with future cannon-fodder. It’s only been 6 months since they got me, I dunno what they put in that canteen food, but as you can see… I’m built to Sell 1-way tickets to Dog-Tag University, to impressionable meatheads. They look at me and want this. But hey! They said I’d get to spend 6 months with my Big brother in Las-Vegas. He’s been there for a year, snagging drunk Frat-Boys tourists as they leave their hotels to go home.

[cosmerelists]

If Cosmere Characters Had Real-World Jobs (But Not The Obvious Ones)

In this list, I wanted to try to give Cosmere characters jobs in our world while avoiding the jobs that would be the most obvious picks--like, for example, the real world equivalent of whatever their canon job is.

1. Kaladin: Professional Football Player

It's a dangerous job that Kaladin's dad would scoff at, but the other kids in town think it's really cool and also the recruiters are coming through town and, I mean, he's really good at football.

2. Lirin: Public Defender

If we avoid the obvious job (doctor), then Lirin still needs a job where he is doing good, but it's pretty thankless and the general public are suspicious and think he might actually be evil somehow. So I figure: public defender. He's highly educated, helping people who need it, and just getting nothing but grief as a result. Worst of all, his smart son wants to be a FOOTBALL player!

3. Marsh: Masseuse

I feel like people who are good at hemalurgy know about the body and its pressure points and things like that. And frankly, "acupuncturist" felt too on the nose.

4. Shallan: Park Ranger

Shallan HATES to be confined, so no way she's going into an office job. Plus, she likes nature and animals, but I'm trying to avoid the more obvious jobs (like botanist or ecologist). It's just too bad that Shallan is SO bad at staring a campfire, though.

5. Navani: Wedding Planner

Navani is VERY good at managing people and events, as seen when she had to manage everything while Gavilar was off plotting. She's also very organized and literally invented wristwatches. So I think she's be very good at this job.

6. Elend: Grad Student

This one may be too obvious, but I figure something like "politician" or "philosopher" are more obvious. But to me, Elend has major grad student energy.

7. Nale: Insurance Adjuster

Nale is a cop, of course, through and through. But if he wasn't a cop, then he'd need some other job where he uses the rules to screw people over. So I see him as, like, an evil insurance guy who's denying people medical coverage because the company wants him to.

8. Blackthorn-Era Dalinar: Debt Collector

If flashback Dalinar couldn't make a living mowing people down in battle and had to find a less obvious job, then I could see him being the guy to hunt down people and demand money they don't have. He doesn't really care about the money. He just likes the hunt.

9. Adolin: eSports Player

It's a job where you can head-to-head battle people and your dad is vaguely puzzled and thinks you should be doing something more important with your life.

10. Lightsong: Customer Service Agent

In canon, Lightsong's job is to face down a huge line of people and tell them "no" in response to them asking for something they want. So, I mean, I feel like that's equivalent to one of those shitty customer service jobs where you're not really allowed to help people (until, of course, Lightsong goes rogue and does start helping people, but that's another story...)

11. Stormfather: Bus Driver

He has his route, and he's not deviating from it. And if you miss the bus, he's not stopping. He's not going back. You can try to run, but you will not catch up to him.

12. Tress: Mechanic

As a Sprouter, Tress had to figure out how each of the spores worked and how to use them. I just feel like she'd be good at diagnosing issues in machinery and then fixing them.

13. Steris: Programmer

She's precise, she's smart, she likes rules. I think coding would suit her.

14. Yumi: Waitress

She could stack the plates SO high.

15. Marasi: Investigative Reporter

Which, honestly, is what I wish she had been rather than being a cop like in canon. I think it would suit her! She'd get to research, investigate, find the truth...

16. Kelsier: Motivational Speaker

He tells you about the power of smiling no matter what, so that you are never defeated. He tells you to carry something small, some memento or photo, to help you find your motivation. You tells you that no goal is out of reach--you just have to find the right people and the right steps to move forward. And he tells you that the most important thing is to survive.

[obsessedobsesser]

It's been a while since I put together Part 1 of my GO fanfic recs. Having read a ton more since then, I figured it was time for another list.

In no particular order:

1. 'On Espionage and Prophecy (or How to Accidentally, but Wholly, Fall in Love With a Soho Bookseller)' by RockSaltAndRoll (Explicit)

This fic takes place in 1941 with MI5Agent!Crowley and bookseller!Aziraphale. Aziraphale is first recruited by, who he thinks, is an MI5 but turns out not to be. Crowley, an actual MI5 Agent then recruits him to "double cross the double-crosser". Lots of pining and badassery (from both sides) ensue in this one!

2. 'Ricochet' by NaroMoreau (Explicit)

I'm a sucker for anything written by Naro but 'Ricochet' has become one of my favourite fics of theirs. Crowley is missing his angel after S2 and ends up summoning another version of Aziraphale. So, we get 1 Crowley, 2 Aziraphale's. The best mix. The writing in this is *chef kiss*. How Naro writes Crowley's pain and the characterizations of the 2 separate Aziraphale's -- just gorgeous.

3. ‘Terminus’ by BraveLight (Teen & Up Audiences)

I had no idea how much I needed an Astronaut!Aziraphale and MissionController!Crowley AU in my life until I read this fic. They have to team up to get Aziraphale home, but there’s way more to the mission than meets the eye. The twists and turns had me clicking 'next chapter' instantly. And the way Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship is written is so gentle and romantic—it’s perfect.

4. "Villainous" by IneffablePenguin (Explicit)

This is THE fairy tale AU you need to read! Crowley (Crow) is a sorcerer, and Aziraphale (Azra) is a prince—this fic honestly feels like it belongs on a best-seller list. IneffablePenguin has a real gift for painting vivid scenes that are so easy to picture. And those final chapters? They totally got me. I couldn't put this fic down.

5. "Cilice It To Say" by izzyspussy (Explicit)

Ho boy. This will be a fic I'll think about often. It's up there with the one I mention next. It's not as explicit as some of the other I've read but jesus christ. As it says on the tin: Crowley has a kink - The kink is Aziraphale. This is big on divinity kink, if that's not your jam, you may not like this one.

6. "Tether" by Ginger_Cat (Explicit)

It's coming up on a year of reading this fic and I think about Chapter 6 constantly. I don't want to spoil it but let me tell you, it's worth it. Aziraphale, now Supreme Archangel, keeps getting summoned back to Earth by Crowley but they don't know why.

7. "Intermezzo" by FeralTuxedo (Explicit)

Aziraphale is a music critic who, back in the day, tanked Crowley’s classical music career with a harsh review of his debut opera. If my fic recs haven’t given it away yet, I’m all about that bickerflirting, and this fic provides. It's also by FeralTuxedo. Anything written by them is 10/10.

WIP'S

8. “Reclaimed” by gallifreyshawkeye (Mature):

Are you in the mood for some Crowley Whump? If so, this fic DELIVERS. Gallifreyshawkeye knows how to paint a very vivid image of injury, so do mind the tags. This takes place 4 years after S2 and Crowley gets dragged down to hell by Satan in front of Aziraphale. It's honestly one of my favourite WIP's at the moment. I am on the edge of my seat whenever a new chapter comes out.

9. "Wavelengths & Frequencies" by imposterssyndrome, shades_of_eccles_cakes (Explicit)

Who doesn't love an enemies to friends to lovers story? While this fic only has 3 chapters so far, I am hooked. But hey, you give me a fic with Crowley and Aziraphale as radio hosts, I am there! I'm so excited to see how this develops and to see more of our 2 idiots going at each other.

10. "Stroke Play" by moonyinpisces (Explicit)

Moony knows how to write pining and I am here for it. In this AU, Crowley competes in beach volleyball, while Aziraphale takes on the golf course at the 2024 Olympics. They're both so down bad for each other but no one communicates. I love it!

Got any good fic recs? Send them my way :) Sharing is caring.

[mammalsofaction]

HUMAN PERRY AU BACKSTORY

I've been having a lot of thoughts lately about Human Perry headcanons as I read a bunch of fic and rewatch phineas and ferb. You know you're hitting the nail on the head when scenes from a fic you might never write dog your every waking step and haunts your dreams so, I thought putting it on paper will help.

A lot of fics like to suggest that Perry's full name is Peregrine, which is understandable, but ever since I've rewatched 2D and found out their first name for him was actually Bartholomew my life was never the same. So Perry's actual name is Bartholomew. But nobody actually calls him that least of all himself.

FAMILY RELATIONS

-I really like winding headcanons that Perry is Ferb's biological mom's BROTHER, which honestly makes so much sense as to why both he and Ferb have green hair. Here are some add-ons that may get depressing;

Ferb's mom was Eve, or Evelyn. Her codename was E, for Echidna...because egg-laying mammals native to Australia. They were both orphans, and attached to the hip. They were each other's partner in crime.

-They were scouted for OWCA one day, bc the agency liked picking up kids with potential as young as possible. So Perry and Eve were trained for the agency since the start (which is why Perry is such a good agent at what seems to be a young age)

MY HEADCANONS FOR OWCA

-Owca is a largely independent authoritarian enterprise with branches all over the world. They aren't the only ones, obviously.

-OWCA also prefers training agents as early as they could. Sometimes that entails scouting talent. Sometimes that means taking in kids of employed agents. Either way, this means OWCA has elementary and high schools that are more akin to militant training camps. It's not cruel. The kids are well cared for and well fed, but OWCA prioritized competency, obedience and discipline.

On every level of OWCA recruitment, training and employment, there is a fedora, and band to mark whichever level you are on the totem pole.

1) Middle school kids are given a bandless fedora.

2) High school kids (soon to be graduates) are given a white band

3) Fresh graduates, training into full employment, are Yellow Bands. Here you start being assigned to full branches, and trained by field work professionals. Think OWCA Files.

4) It's fairly easy to graduate from Yellow Band into a Purple Band. Purple Bands are largely refereed to as Junior Agents, but that's not quite accurate. Purple Bands are the highest reporting authority in any division that ISN'T FIELD WORK. The OWCA Tech, Clerks, RnD and Science Divisions all have Purple Bands to signify they are fully employed, or Superior Officer. Pinky has a Purple Band.

5) It's VERY DIFFICULT to graduate from a Purple Band to a Black Band, not least because there IS NO PREDETERMINED TEST. Black Band agents are Superior Agents, only one level below Division General. There's no telling what could turn you from a Purple to a Black, because the agent has to prove unwavering obedience and faith to the agency in dire circumstances. It's saying "I am willing to do anything for the Greater Good."  Often it entails a death of some sort. OWCA often says Black is the band soaked in blood. Black Band agents have licenses to kill. It's why Black Band Agents are few and precious far in between.

6) After a black band, and you live long enough to retire, you can choose a bunch of things. Most agents choose to become Division Generals or Branch Managers: think Major Monogram. They're basically glorified "Guy in the Chair". Some agents choose to become educators, in which case they are given White Fedoras. White fedoras arent exclusive to black bands though; there are plenty purple band white fedoras. In fact most educators are purple band white fedoras.

-Perry's Black Band Event was Eve's death

-At the time of Eve's death, she had already been married to Lawrence. Ferb was barely a year old, maybe 10 months old?

-Lawrence was told it was a car accident: drunk driver. Truthfully it was a mission gone wrong, involving an underground child trafficking ring, and she stayed behind to give them all the chance to escape. She didn't have the chance to escape when security explosives around the building detonated, and she got caught in the crossfire. Perry had to leave her behind.

-This is why Perry refused to get a partner btw, aka his Lone Wolf tendencies come from.

-In the aftermath, OWCA agents approached the family to give them their condolences, and offer to take Ferb into the fold. For the first time since Eve's death, Perry practically lost it. He didn't hurt anyone, he's much too professional, but he knew Eve didn't want Ferb to get wrapped up in OWCA, and for good fucking reason. Due to their training, neither he nor Eve had much of a childhood, and he refused to subject Ferb to the same kind of life experience.

OWCA was NOT happy. Things were tetchy for a while, at least until Perry was approached by Major Monogram. Francis had a wife, and a son, and he understood where Perry was coming from. He suggested taking a permanent residence in Danville, which was his branch division. It was more stability than Perry ever had working in England, where he and Eve was originally stationed, and it was easy enough to come up with a work-related story to convince Lawrence, who was more than ready enough to leave the house where he and Eve originally lived.

-It was after moving did Lawrence meet and fall in love with Linda.

Edit; I've decided to change Ferb's bio mom's name bc I found something that fits better to me :) She's Eve now

End Backstory.

[mamirhodessxox]

Serving for our CUNTry

Damnation!Leon Kennedy x Model!Reader

Desc- Your a well know Runway model for VS & other companies dating Leon who is infact a Government agent. Unfortunately for you Leon’s team was low on backup since last mission going to complete shit which is how you ended up being recruited for the 1 time & it is a HOT mess.

Content- Mentions of ‘Bimbo’, Hints of sex, Violence, Semi gore details, funny ff this time, Reader serving for our CUNTry, bimbo!reader

{~I'm very serious with you guys interacting with my writing!!!! it would make me so happy & excited, the more comments & reposts the more inspiration i have to write :) Votes and comments are strongly appreciated so please COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMEENNTTT the more comments the more content <3!!!~}

“Baby we need to recruit you for backup.” Is the words you absolutely did NOT want to hear ever in your life when dating Leon.

“So your telling me you expect me to go out on a mission with you in the middle of fucking China and use missiles & guns that I have never ever touched given the fact that all I know what to do is walk down a fucking runway and look pretty?” You spoke as Leon hesitantly nodded “Yes.”

Absolutely fucking not. no. no. no. NO! “Leon I’m literally a victoria secret model & you trust me with a fucking MISSILE?” And then he sat tapping his shoe before shrugging. “Maybe?” NO! BAD LEON! BAD! “Y’know what if I’m gonna be serving for this country involuntarily i might as-well do it how I want to do it understood?”

Leon regretted this decision immediately. He trained you for MONTHS. You were right, you were definitely better at walking down the runway in 6 inch heels than shooting a gun but who cares right? Everybody apparently. When you guys were deployed onto the mission Chris judged you HEAVILY for literally wearing Bright pink high heel pumps, the smallest skirt & crop top that had the words “Serving for my CUNTry.” With your hair in literal pigtails. If you weren’t the queen of bimbos right now then he didn’t know who was.

You all split up into duos in some random rank facility & you obviously went with Leon. Everything was going smooth at first. Until you were being chased by some random fucking creature “GOD DAMNIT Y/N SHOOT THE FUCKING THING!” “I’M A MODEL NOT A FUCKING GUN LORD LEON!” As it kept getting closer you heard a loud gunshot & nearly choked on your bubble gum.

“Oh my god you shot it!” You gasped and poked your heel at the fucked up creatures gooey head & gagged “I thought I trained you how to use a gun sweetheart.” You furrowed your brows & scoffed while your hands were on your hips “Yeah & then I realized I shouldn’t even be 0.1 millimeters away from one.” Leon pinched the bridge of his nose before running his hands down your arms “Sweetheart now is not the time to walk the runway and look pretty. You need to use the fucking gun.” You rolled your eyes “This is NOT it Leon I hope you know this.” Somehow Leon found this strangely attractive. Whether it was the current skimpy outfit you were wearing or just your attitude in general but he knew when you both got home you were in for a surprise for sure.

Hours later you were literally STRUTTING and I mean fucking STRUTTING SERVING CUNT SERVING THE RUNWAY VOGUING CUNTY into some random room after seeing Jill being nearly attacked by a bunch of the infected. You completely forgot what to do but you realize you had very sharp heels & also a gun so you put it to your own creative cunty use. In one hand you were shooting off a few of the infected and in the other you were holding your pump slamming the heel into the head of some of the zombie like people. Jill sat in a corner breathing heavily just watching in pure amazement before you flung the gunk of brains off your heel before slipping it back on.

You squealed and jumped up and down clapping “Oh my god I ate that!! Did’ya see that Jill! I TOTALLLYYY served cunt!!” Jill lightly smiled not even knowing what that meant “You sure did..” when you guys caught up with the rest of the group Jill took Leon aside “She killed half of them with her fucking pumps Leon.” He furrowed his brows “I’m sorry?? She saved you with a literal SHOE?” She nodded her head & looked over at you while you were explaining what ‘Serving Cunt’ even meant to Chris.

The team genuinely thought you were some bimbo but you somehow saved all of their asses. Even after the mission you were given some sort of Medal & grimaced at it “What the hell is that?” Leon chuckled rubbing your shoulders as you genuinely hated the fact that they gave you a medal that wasn’t even pink & cute.

One night you were appearing in yet another fashion show. The group had came for support & Leon watched as you strut down the stage & posed. Claire was in utter awe of you & Chris like a supportive father.

You were definitely made for the runway. Which would somehow be perfect for Leons next mission..

xtripleiiix’s Masterlist

A/N- OKAY I LOVE model!reader & leon!!! READER SERVED SOOO MUCH CUNT & I WANNA WRITE MORE AB HER & LEON HOW DO WE FEEL ABOUT THIS?

🏷️ list: @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert @alicerosejensen @bunnybot55 @valkyrurx @agent-dessis-posts

[fras-redacted-shapes]

Early drafts/unused content in other languages

redditor AloysHellsalem posted about certain text strings that exist in localized files but are missing from English ones. So I took a look at the Spanish string table and tried translating them - these are machine translations, so they are bad and also funny (sometimes).

All of these seem to be some sort of very, very early draft given the number at the end of the speaker's name and because they don't even have corresponding text-to-speech files unlike files from demos/proof of concept.

More of a fun thing than anything else.

Most of them are from Saga's side of the story.

AMBIENT DIALOGUE - RETURN 2

CASEY_4585: I found more of those knit ornaments near [Witch’s] Ladle. The cult has been around here. SAGA_4586: Do you think they’re the ones behind all this? Dead people coming back to life certainly sounds like cult material. CASEY_4587: It feels like they’re connected. We need more evidence. CASEY_4588: Do you really think a ritual will do something? SAGA_4589: My rational brain says no, but maybe it’s time I leave it on the backseat. CASEY_4590: I’ve certainly had cases that made sanity look like a sick joke. SAGA_4591: I can’t believe you knew what Ikea was. CASEY_4592: What? A guy like me can’t have affordable furniture?

Original text:

PROFILING CASEY - RETURN 6

SAGA_4984: What’s happening to Casey? CASEY_4985: I can’t turn into one of them. I won’t. Fuck it. I’ll go to hell before I turn into one of those soulless demons. CASEY_4986: Well, I guess that’s literally what they are: demons.

That last sentence may be a weird translation on my part. I'm not sure how to make it make sense.

Original text:

Leaving the full string here, Saga profiling Casey about him feeling like a fictional character?:

MP_RE06_CASEY_FICTIONAL_SAGA_4987: being a fictional character. MP_RE06_CASEY_FICTIONAL_CASEY_4988: Was I even who I thought I was, or just an average detective torn from the pages of a bunch of mediocre crime novels? Did I exist in printing ink like I did in real life?, and vice versa? The thought always bothered me. The jokes. The similarities. The constant feeling that no amount of coffee could drown.

Original text:

There're lines that look like bullet points or just rough ideas, like the last one here:

SAGA_6910: What’s happening to Casey? CASEY_6911: Casey is turning into a taken, blame Alan Wake for it WAKE_SAGA_6912: Wake WAKE_CASEY_6913: Casey never liked Wake, even before all this. References to cult case in New York

Original text:

PROFILING ESTEVEZ RETURN 6

This looks like a very early draft of Kiran having a girl crush deputizing Saga into the FBC.

SAGA_4989: The FBC. ESTEVEZ_4990: Saga Anderson, she’d be a great FBC agent. She clearly has what it takes: wit, guts and drive. And she’s not backing down from a paranatural fight. I can appreciate that. ESTEVEZ_4991: I should give her the recruitment (draft?) pitch. She’d be a great asset. SAGA_4992: I guess I should be flattered.

Original text:

SAGA_4993: What’s this “AWE”? ESTEVEZ_4994: What reactivated the AWE in Bright Falls? Does the threshold below the lake work in cycles or does it have a trigger? ESTEVEZ_4995: Whatever it is, it seemed more powerful than ever. SAGA_4996: The “threshold” in Cauldron Lake. That’s where I have to go.

Original text:

The following one is nearly incomprehensible

SAGA_6914: Parautilitarians ESTEVEZ_6915: Estevez relives a trauma, says the area of parautilitarians susceptible to supernatural forces (???)

SAGA_6916: doesn’t wake up ESTEVEZ_6917: They told Estevez the Dark Presence can steal forms, making it difficult to know who to trust SAGA_6918: Dark Place ESTEVEZ_6919: Estevez doesn’t know much, other than those who go there generally don’t come back.

PROFILING TOR AND ODIN - RETURN 5

Lots of fun tidbits

SAGA_3003: Where is Tor? TOR_3004:... Polaris ... in a web of hypocrisy. ODIN_3005: Take ... Control. duh duh duhuhuh. Take ... Control ... TOR_3006: Take ... Control. duh duh duhuhuh. Take ... Control …

SAGA_3012: The girl in the painting. ODIN_3013: I won’t remove it. That’s our family. Your (his?) daughter. TOR_3014: She left us! She took Saga and fucked off! So take that damn thing! I don’t wanna see her face!

MP_RE05_TOR_MOTHER_SAGA_3069: My mother. TOR_3070: But I wasn’t made to be a dad. I’m a god of rock! I can take the sky, rock stadiums but can’t change a diaper! TOR_3071: My life is a fucking storm. Freya deserved better. TOR_3072: It broke my heart, but I was proud of her for leaving. She could take care of herself. And her little girl. Saga will be a fucking star. I saw it the day she was born.

SAGA_3074: My dad. TOR_3075: …If she goes with you, she can never come back! It’s a one way trip for her. And I’m not letting a punk take me (?)! UNKNOWN_3076: (STATIC) TOR_3077: Freya isn’t ready for a nursing home. We kept it hidden for a reason! If you try this, I’ll hit you so hard with my hammer there won’t be any door left to open!

PROFILING TOR AND ODIN - RETURN 9

Now, these are super interesting :)

SAGA_5287: Mr. Door. TOR_5288: Freya couldn’t trust that bastard! He wouldn’t have stayed anyways! It’s not in his nature! We had to go! ROSE_5289: Tor, you’re scaring the other residents. I need you to put down that hammer. TOR_5290: A father needs to protect his kids, dammit! The door is a fucking spider and I’ll be damned if I was going to let my little girl get caught on its fucking web.

MP_RE09_ODIN_01_DOOR_SAGA_5293: Mr Door. ODIN_5294: I just can’t let you play with her heart. It’s nothing personal. DOOR_5295: Do you realize Freya will never forgive either of you for this? ODIN_5296: You’re not wrong, but… neither is my brother. Today you’re here, you’re Martin’s door, but eventually you’ll leave it behind and she won’t know why. Better she hate us than she hates herself. DOOR_5297: Then let’s see what you and your drunk brother can do.

Weird translation that last one.

The text for "I can't let you play with her heart" can be translated more literally to "I simply can't make you play with her heart." Which doesn't make sense, at least not without more context.

The line about Martin was probably meant to say "You're Martin Door".

There're a few other tidbits but none as interesting (in my opinion) as these ones.

[cloudy-em]

Bad Cop - Badass!Confident!reader x Soft!Shy!Spencer Reid

gender neutral reader!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When Y/N first walked into the BAU, they had a chilled confidence surrounding them that made me nearly cower at my desk. Hotch had told the team we were getting a new member, but I expected some bright-eyed newly recruited agent to walk through our doors. Y/N held themself with such grace and confidence. They made eye contact with me, and I looked away immediately, flipping through a file on my desk and pretending to read it slowly. The next thing I knew, Y/N was in front of me, introducing themself before practically strutting away. They showed no signs of overexcitement or nervousness that every newcomer in the BAU holds. It was mildly intimidating that Y/N lacked that. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It’s been 6 months, 13 days, and 44 minutes since Y/N first joined our team. They’ve been more helpful than I initially expected. They hold their PhD in human behavior studies and had previously worked in the Crimes Against Children Unit for 3 years before being sent up to the BAU. Y/N is very intelligent and always plays the “bad cop” role (incredibly effectively, might I add) whenever we have to interview suspects. They show no fear in the field, either, and they have not lost the confident energy surrounding their presence. I wish I could hang out with Y/N more often. I talk to them enough to do my job, but whenever drinks with the team or a game night comes up, I find myself stuttering out a lame excuse. It’s just that Y/N is cool and I don’t want to embarrass myself. I find my thoughts drifting to them often, even in the SUV as we’re on our way to an unsub’s warehouse, where he’s keeping a 15 year old girl prisoner. The SUV slows to a stop, hidden from view of the warehouse by tree cover and distance. We pile out of the cars, reviewing what we discussed at the local police station. 

“Remember, he wants as much time with her as he can get, which is why he’s turned his warehouse into a maze. He doesn’t think he can outsmart us; he just needs to delay us so he can finish his ritual. We move quickly in pairs. Clear the rooms, but don’t spend long getting distracted or held up by his puzzles. Our goal is to get to Mariah as quickly as possible,” Hotch states, the team and additional police officers nod. 

“Prentiss, Morgan take the south entrance and move around the perimeter. Reid, L/N take the south entrance and move towards the center,” Hotch’s voice trails off as he continues giving assignments for the warehouse maze, but all I can focus on is the fact that Y/N and I are going to be partners for this. I can hold my own, sure, but Y/N? They could probably take out 10 people by themself! I don’t want them to see me as incapable, because I’m not. I’ve passed all of my tests, written and physical. But by comparison, I’m a mouse and Y/N is a falcon. 

I’m brought back into reality by Y/N. “You ready?” they ask genuinely. I’ve never had the pleasure of being partnered with Y/N, but I’ve heard Emily say they take partner work very seriously. They’re committed. I nod at them for fear my voice would crack due to how dry my throat is. They nod back before turning around and calling a “let’s go” over their shoulder. The team jogs towards our respective entrances, Morgan and Prentiss in front of Y/N and I. We arrive at our destination, the south entrance, and Morgan tries the rusted metal door. Emily and Y/N both have their firearms raised, ready to enter and clear when Derek opens the door. He nods at them and they nod back. They clear and Derek and I enter before splitting up to join our partners. 

“You guys go left, that will lead you around the perimeter and those rooms. L/N and I are gonna go right so we can work our way towards the center,” I say, my eidetic memory not failing me as I recall the warehouse map from earlier. The other three nod before we begin to move. Y/N and I are quiet as we walk down the concrete corridor, guns raised and clearing each room as we move. 

Y/N pauses and I glance at them, questioning the sudden stop. “I hear something,” they whisper to me. Sure enough, there’s a sound ahead. Y/N points down the corridor and we walk towards the sound, picking up our pace as the sound grows in volume. I whisper into my mic where we are, letting the rest of the team know we’re onto something. Before it can even register, Y/N runs to the end of the hall with their guns raised, bursting into the room.

“FBI, drop your weapon!” I hear them announce firmly, as I enter the room with my firearm at the ready as well, I see our unsub kneeled in front of Mariah. She’s chained to the wall and the unsub has a knife in his hand. 

“Did you not hear me, dumbass, I said drop it!” They shout this time. The male laughs and he brings the knife closer to Mariah slowly, like he’s teasing the idea of whether he should hurt her or not. Y/N doesn’t hesitate. 

They launch themself across the room and onto the unsub, gun sliding across the room, and their sudden weight forcing his body to the floor. They twist his arm, causing him to drop the knife. “I don’t give third chances,” Y/N says. “On your stomach!” they order. He doesn’t listen. Y/N forces him onto his stomach, cuffing him and patting him down. As they move to press on his shoulders and biceps, ensuring he has nothing hidden there, he moves his head down to bite their finger. 

“Motherfucker!” Y/N yells, reactively punching him. “Where’s the key for Mariah’s restraints, huh?” they ask. He’s silent. “Tell me or I’ll hit you again!” he sighs and mutters that the key is around his neck. They pull it off of him throwing it across the room for me to catch (I did!) and I approach Mariah, trying to be as gentle as I can with her as I unlock the cuffs from around her wrists. She thanks me, throwing herself onto me in a hug. I pat her back, helping her stand up so we can walk her out of the building to her family and the waiting EMTs. 

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“Successful op, huh Reid?” I hear Y/N approach as I’m standing by the ambulance, waiting for the EMTs to finish checking on Mariah. I’m a bit surprised. “Oh, um, yeah, except for you I guess.” Y/N raises an eyebrow in question. “He bit you, that’s gotta hurt, right?” I ask. Y/N shrugs. 

“Not really. It bled, sure, but it’s okay,” they tell me. I suddenly feel myself worried over their well-being. I place my hand between their shoulder blades, a silent request for them to follow me to the SUV. 

“Sit, please,” I mutter, grabbing one of the first aid kits we keep in the glovebox. Y/N smiles at me, and I try to keep my blush as bay when I smile back. I use hand sanitizer to clean my own hands before rubbing some into Y/N’s hands. “We’ll wash them and reapply the bandage when we’re back at the station, but this is okay for now,” I tell them and they nod in response. I place a bandage and antibacterial ointment on the wound, wrapping their finger snugly. 

“Oh, thank you, Doctor! You’ve saved me!” Y/N says, laughing at their own antics. I smile back, ready to remind them for the nth time that I’m not a medical doctor, but I think better of it and opt with a simple, “you’re welcome”. I turn to walk away, to check in with the rest of the team before I hear Y/N call to me. 

“Wait! Doctor Reid!” I turn to face them again, wondering if something else is wrong. Instead of wearing a concerned facial expression, Y/N wears a smirk. “You gonna kiss it better?”

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thank you for reading! next up in order for my writing:

lip gallagher x fem!reader fake relationship

emily prentiss x fem!reader smut

chef luca x fem!reader smut

feel free to send me any messages with requests or if you'd like to join my taglists!!

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 6

Post Shrimp Jump Conspiracy Board Special

Hey y’all! Welcome back to Seacaster Manor where the shrimp party is still raging and the Bad Kids are balancing being cooler than ever with some serious sleuthing. We get a lot of new information this episode so I wanted to try out a new format for this week. I often talk in a metaphorical way about putting items up on a Conspiracy Board but I want to actually try that now that we’re a little over a quarter of the way in and have multiple overarching things happening. This is going to be a lot less linear than usual but bear with me. Gotta shake things up a little so I don’t get burnt out! There’s still fourteen more episodes to go! 

The Rat Grinders

The Bad Kids’ de facto rival party got a lot of screen time in this episode, which makes sense: Adaine declared the party their nemeses over Goldenhoard or anyone else they’ve fought, which is saying a lot. Before this point, we knew the following facts about them:

1) They got their name because the only enemies they’re recorded as killing are low level ones (including rats) that they grind in the woods behind the school, showing a willingness to follow the letter but not spirit of the rules but also an impressive amount of dedication. 

2) Their leader seems to be rogue, Kipperlily Copperkettle who is type A as hell and has a LOT of free time to kill having found the rogue professor (or at least having the rogue professor find her). She’s running for class president on a platform based around “fairness” which is a theme that’s come up more than once this season. 

3) Also on the team are emo Bard Reuben (who seems to be related to the new Artificing teacher and who shares an agent with Fig) and nonplussed Barbarian Mary Ann (who is buffing herself magically somehow).

4) Kipperlily specifically asked about where Kristen was able to create a new god. Now how, where. An odd question. 

This episode, we learned a lot more, so let's throw them on the board and make some connections!

5) The Rat Grinders have a new cleric named Buddy Dawn (something Kristen’s brother mentioned two episodes ago). He’s from Highcourt and moved with his grandparents. He’s got super Mormon+Southern “Bless Your Heart” energy and Kristen doesn’t like how familiar it feels. His vibes are clocked as well meaning but kinda judgey. 

6) Buddy Dawn was *specifically requested* by the party. Of course, requesting a cleric isn’t weird–why wouldn’t you want one? And Helioism seems a pretty common religion in the region so odds are good that if you get a cleric is would be a Helioic one. But, paired with KP’s question about Kristen, it makes you wonder if the plan is to recruit a Kristen expy and try to get lightning to strike twice.  

7) At the beer pong table, we meet the RG’s archer who is an elf named Ivy Embra. She’s got some flirty, catty energy (which we see when she interacts with Fabian and Mazey respectively).

8) We also meet the party wizard, Oisin Hakinvar, who is a Conjuration specialist with a focus in summoning. He’s a blue dragonborn which means that he has a great great great (etc) blue dragon ancestor he can ping when he needs barrels of diamonds, no problem. He has so many in fact that when Adaine lies badly that she’s also swimming in diamonds, he kindly offers to let her borrow some of his “extras”. But she turns them down, calls him great, and then panics and runs away to commiserate with Fabian who is also panicking about a flirty moment with Ivy. Oisin, for his part, seems driven to distraction and can’t make a single other shot all night. Cute! But–

9) As much as I want to wholeheartedly love Oisin (and honestly do and will until I am given direct evidence to change my mind) I have to point out that KVX, known evil bank, did change its logo from red (Goldenhoard’s color) to blue (Oisin’s Ancestor’s color) and there is a shot in the trailer of the party fighting a blue dragon. Connected? Maybe.

10) From investigating some yearbooks, the party also learns that the Rat Grinders have existed since Freshman Year but, at the time, they were called the High Five Heroes. They all look a lot more smiley and a lot less intense–Rebuen’s not even emo. It was the lineup from above, minus Buddy and plus a frost Genasi cleric named Lucy Frostblade. They learn that she supposedly died in their Sophomore year but specifically during a period near the end of the year where grades are locked and it wouldn’t affect their party comp which is…convenient. 

11) Fig tries to investigate this by disguising herself as Lucy and seeing how Ivy and Oisin react. Only Ivy sees her but she doesn’t seem shocked at all to see her allegedly dead party member She just raises an eyebrow and ditches the game to talk to her. Fig bails (and rolls only a 12 to stealth away) so we don’t get any extra info but just the fact that Ivy reacted that way is pretty juicy info as is.  

12) The other Rat Grinders don’t seem to be at the party but the members are skeptical about that. On the other hand, when Ivy leaves, it’s because Oisin pulls her aside and says, “Kipperlilly’s calling”. So it’s possible there was a Team A and a Team B for whatever the Rat Grinders were doing that night?

13) And speaking of what they're doing, we do have a theory. When Fabian checks some damage in the basement where Max and some other kids were smoking "gorgenfern" he sees that something called a cloud rider engine was smashed up pretty bad and in a suspicious way–gorgenfern doesn’t make you rowdy. Fabian checks the security tapes he obviously has and sees that some ice mephits came in and riled people up to the point of crashing into the engine. Adaine conjured some earlier in the party and as far as her arcana check can tell, they’re here, but there’s suspicion that Oisin–a conjuration wizard–could have done it. It’s certainly within his skillset. A cloud rider engine allows a vehicle to fly on clouds and it’s not clear if it was simply smashed or if something was stolen from it. 

14) Max isn’t a Rat Grinder but he did ask them all if they wanted to smoke with him and Ivy offered Fabian snuff so Riz is suspicious that the RG’s are trying to get them kicked out of school for drug use now that they have a non-Aguefort principal who presumably cares about silly rules like that at the murder school. 

That’s basically what we know about the Rat Grinders! So, to sum it up, I’d say the conspiracy board bullet points are:

Supposedly dead cleric Lucy Frostblade: What actually happened to her and why isn’t Ivy surprised to see “her”?

New cleric Buddy Dawn: Why was he specifically requested? 

The High Five Heroes: What caused them to turn into the Rat Grinders? And, as they seem like they were more gung ho their first year, why did they never pivot to fighting things other than low level monsters?

Do they actually have beef with the Bad Kids specifically or are their vibes just terrible? Were they trying to sabotage them by offering drugs? Did they break the engine on purpose and, if so, why?

Oisin: Is he chill or is he working an angle? That question technically goes to Ivy as well but I’m almost certain she’s fully working an angle, lol. I’m getting straight up Aelwyn vibes from her.

Class President: What is KP’s angle re: running for class president? This seems like something she’d want to do either way with her personality but her policy of fairness dovetails too neatly with Grix’s appearance and Cassandra’s inability to say the phrase, “It’s not fair,” last episode.

How did KP find the rogue professor and is that relevant?

And finally, why did KP want to know about where Kristen created her Freshman year god? Well, that question may be partially answered in our next section. 

God Stuff

There is a lot going on this season with celestial shenanigans between Cassandra and Galicaea and even Yes! So let’s mark out what we know.

1) Cassandra was possessed by some kind of rage entity via crystal shards that were expelled from her body. Her status is kind of up in the air right now as the party was shunted away to safety by Connor Counterspell (RIP) and all Kristen has left of Cass are some glowing, purple shards. 

2) Earlier in the fight, while lucid, Cassandra said, “I thought you were dead” about some unseen entity. Later, Kristen heard from a creepy voice that said, “She is at my side once more”. It then threatened her and slid out the rotting corpse of Yes! as a sick joke. Likely that these are the same person or at least connected. 

3) Gorgug identified that the rage stars are similar to what’s going on with Ragh’s mom, Lydia so it was put on the docket to get in touch with her about that–especially because Kalina specifically told them to track down Ragh with her last lucid words. 

4) Tracker’s Galicaea rebrand is going really well. Her social media is really popping and the endless night probably didn’t hurt. 

5) Kristen on the other hand, hasn’t been doing so hot. Due to a bunch of negligence based in lack of time management and personal uncertainty, she hasn’t been evangelizing much which means only she and Craig stand between Cass and her permanent destruction. 

6) Kristen can’t contact Cass telepathically and says she can’t use her magic which is Not Great if you're as danger prone as the Bad Kids. 

Alright, that’s all the old business so let’s move to the new business. 

7) When Kristen talked to her parents, we learned that Helio doesn’t have a chosen one since she left but we learn that it’s more serious than that. Helio also can’t choose a new chosen one. He only gets one. With Kristen gone, the whole religion is without a chosen one.

8) At a certain point, Tracker finally gets a hold of Kristen and says some harsh but true things about Kristen but, more relevant to the conspiracy board, she talks about her girlfriend Nara and Adaine, as a fellow high elf, clocks her as coming from a family of moon goddess clerics in Falinel. That raises the question: is this run of the mill teenage rebellion a la the theme song, or is she some kind of plant? We’ll hopefully get some more info from Aelwyn since Adaine texted her about it.

9) The real juicy stuff happens when we talk to Ragh’s mom. The fiend in Lydia's gem is called Bakur. Her having him in there doesn't make her rage--she's raging to keep him trapped but that's it. Her personality is the same. 

10) Bakur was a pit fiend and the right hand guy of a dead god whose name we don't know (hmm, another dead and nameless god). Bakur can't even say the god's name. It's like, weird god rules and Lydia explains in a weird vague way: gods not being able to use loopholes and saying names being powerful and rules changing for non-mortals when gods die.

11) The one very concrete info we get is that a god can only come back in a place where they were born or created. The reason Bakur’s plan failed is that he tried to bring back the nameless god in the Red Waste and not where they were created. 

12) Rana (Lydia’s party cleric) is away and Cormyr (the party sorcerer) is dead but Lydia offers to put the party in touch with Rana and Cormyr’s family because they have more stuff related to this and they were the ones who knew more about this than her. 

Following? Good. So let’s distill this down to bullets again:

Holy Helio. The corn god doesn’t have a chosen one anymore because Kristen up and left. What does that mean in a concrete sense? What can a chosen one do that a normal cleric can’t? Is Helio gonna ask Kristen to do anything this season now that we know that this is a special position that only one person can fill? Is it until she dies (or at least dies for real)? Would a fanatical Helioic person try and kill Kristen to open up that slot?

KP specifically asking WHERE Cassandra was created seems clearly tied to the info Lydia gave about only being able to resurrect a god where it was created. But what does that mean exactly? Is she trying to resurrect the same god as Bakur? Did she just assume that wherever Kristen made her god is probably where most gods are made and, thus, her best bet? What’s her angle? Is this an evil plan for just a “this will get me a good grade” plan?

Where in the world is Cassandra right now? She is MIA right now which means Kristen’s powers are too. Though I wonder if she can draw on those shards to cast spells.

We obviously can’t be sure but it seems like the voice Kristen heard and the person that Cass thought was dead is likely that unnamed god. What’s his deal? I’m sure we’ll have more info for this bullet soon. 

Is Tracker’s new girlfriend Nara, much like Ecaf, a turncoat? 

With Helio, Cass, and Galicaea all being in the mix, is there any kind of family angle being played. It doesn’t come up a ton but they are very much related. 

MISC

This is a section for a few points that don’t yet fit under the main two headings of the season but still need to go up on the board. 

Why would Aguefort program a robot that acts like Grix? Is he supposed to be like or is he hacked? If he is hacked, who would be able to do that? The new artificing teacher? The old one?

We learn that Aguefort has made a lot of contradicting proclamations and all of them are canon, so you’re able to pick and choose what you want to cite (I feel like I’m in law school again). Lots of room for loopholes which could be useful later. 

Adaine, while very drunk, had an oracle vision of Kristen at a birthday party, giving a victory speech to a bunch of teens on election night as a crescent moon hangs in the sky. The Crescent moon potentially gives them a time frame if they look into it (and it specifically being mentioned makes me think of Galicaea even though not every moon thing has to be connected to her). And we know Gorgug’s birthday is near the Frosty Folk festival so maybe that’s why the hats.

Speaking of, we know there’s a connection between Riz’s mom defending someone for money crimes re: that Festival and Gorgug’s parents hosting it so that’s something to remember. 

This isn’t something for the pin board per se but this season introduces a stress token system for downtime! I’m sure I’ll talk about it more when we use it for the first time next ep but, for now, gotta say he’s really ramping up the pressure on our kids! And, to that point, let’s do a quick check in with everyone and see what they’re up against!

Character Board

Adaine

-Adaine is still facing major money troubles. After last episode, not only is her job terminated, but she actually owes 2.5 gold for her uniform. 

-It looks like she might be developing a bit of a crush on the cute dragonborn (yay) but he’s a Rat Grinder (nooooo). I will say though, cross party romance could be a lot of fun and also my favorite NPC in this show is Aelwyn whose top 2 traits are famously Criminal and Loves Adaine so I am honestly fine with this either way lol. 

-Speaking of Aelwyn, I’ll put the sister stuff together: When Adaine calls her to ask for dirt on Nara she says, “Working, will call in five.” And when Adaine questions the fact that it's 5am on a Saturday, Adaine just gets a winky face emoji back. Suspicious! 

Fabian

-Fabian has to juggle the new 150% course load (bard/fighter) as well as his new party house reputation.

-He has a lack of adult supervision which also means a lack of adult care and it seems to be affecting him more than he’s willing to let on. 

-But honestly his biggest obstacle is probably himself right now, lol. He made himself a new nemesis in Gertie Bladshield and I am not confident he can handle this honey trap mission with Ivy without the tables being turned on him. 

Riz

-Riz is also facing money troubles, but for him that’s kind of business as usual unfortunately.

-He has a TON of extracurriculars to keep track of but he so far seems to be handling it pretty well and is picking up some interesting allies (that double as votes for Kristen’s campaign–campaign manager is also an extracurricular he’s taken up): the aforementioned Gertie Bladeshield (Apiary Club), Sprak LeFevre (Aviation Club), and Molman Holden (Soil Club). Always good to have new allies and Aviation Club seems like it could be really useful later! I can see him making some luck checks to successfully say, “I know a guy” in a tight spot based on how many clubs he’s joined. 

-He also has the Reliable Talent ability now which means he’s incapable of rolling lower than a 21 on things he’s proficient in which includes Investigation. We’re about to be getting some INSANE lore dumps. 

Gorgug

-Gorgug has his insane 400% courseload happening and I didn’t notice this until it was pointed out to me but Zac actually leveled Gorgug DOWN in Barbarian to take an extra level of Artificer! That’s commitment. But I can��t imagine Porter, who already has a problem with him, is gonna like that. 

Fig

-Fig would hate it if I didn’t start this list by saying that she hella misses Ayda and that’s her biggest problem. 

-But she also has her album to worry about and we actually get the bombshell during a conversation with Mazey that she’s not even sure that she still wants to be a bard.

-On top of that, she’s taking Barb and Warlock classes along with the Bard classes she’s finally going to. 

-She has her gnarly Gilear curse happening that’s seemingly connected to whoever the boss who owns the pride armor is. 

-She has beef with Rebuen and is living her double life as Wanda Childa to try and learn whatever she can about him/the Rat Grinders. 

-Both she and Wanda are wanted by the Solace FBI.  

-On a positive note, she really endeared herself to Mazey by sweetly sticking up for her when Ivy was being catty. If Fig wasn’t so devoted to Ayda I could have read their interaction at the end of the ep as flirty. Regardless, nice moment and great ally. 

Kristen

-Welp, her god is, if not dead, MIA which is arguably the biggest deal of anything on any of these lists, especially since it’s tied to her magic AND her grade. 

-Next of course is the potato to her meat on her plate: her campaign. But that’s actually going really well, especially after this party. Her biggest issue is whether or not she can get Fetty Wap to homecoming and, lbr, in a pinch Fig can just disguise herself as him. When has that ever not worked?

-She also has this unnamed god (or whoever it is) taunting her and threatening her specifically which isn’t ideal. 

-But I honestly think she was more fucked up by the conversation which Tracker where her ex basically outlined everything she needs to get together in her life and then posted a pre-written pic with her new girlfriend. That’s gotta sting. 

And that’s it! I wanted to focus on the specific nuggets of info we got this episode and start to connect them with what we knew so far. Different format, I know, but I’m feeling experimental this season and I might switch it up a few more times as Junior Year goes on. I love covering Fantasy High but, like I said at the top, I have to keep it fresh so I don’t burn out. See you next time when Brennan makes the stress we’re all feeling an actual game mechanic! Fun!

[buckrecs]

2022 Bucky Barnes Fic Rec 5

masterlist | req masterlist

All of them are COMPLETE Series.

✨ - fav fics

Status - Completed

1. I Remember All of Them by @tuiccim

Bucky x Agent!Reader

After Hawkeye’s retirement, you are assigned to the Avengers as the new sharpshooter. You form a special friendship with Bucky but when friends turn to lovers Bucky suddenly turns cold. Were you just another conquest of Bucky Barnes’ or was something deeper at play?  

2. Eye For An Eye by @sinner-as-saint

CEO!Bucky x Reader

Battered and bruising, Y/N is out to seek sweet revenge from a man, James Buchanan Barnes, who tore her family apart 10 years ago. Y/N’s plan was simple; infiltrate his life, mess with his head, toy with his heart and leave him broken. Headstrong, she will stop at nothing, not even when it comes down to her being the villain in her own story...

3. Little Lavender Friend by @thepsychewrites

Roommate!Bucky x Reader AU

The stories and encounters you and Bucky face as roommates, best friends, and eventual lovers.

4. Tempestuous by @sinner-as-saint

King!Bucky x Reader

With his kingdom flourishing in peace, and no threats from enemies; recently crowned King - James Buchanan Barnes sets out at sea. With his finest ship, the best crew ever recruited, and a deep desire to see whether the edge of the world truly exists; the King sets sail. Hoping to find the marvels of the ocean, to find beauty and magic even; however he ends up finding a fiery soul – one he cannot get enough of. But then again, no love story is ever perfect, is it?

5. Can’t Fight the Feeling by @sidepartskinnyjeans✨

Bucky x Agent!Reader

After the second snap the world rejoices at the return of their friends and family. But for the Avengers their home is destroyed. Steve and Tony move the homeless Avengers back to the Avengers Tower. With only a few usable floors they're paired up to support each other from the shock of returning and the changing world. Some are happier with their room allocation than others. Can you and Bucky make it work?

6. Nothing to Despair by @bvccy

Soft!Dark!Bucky x Reader

Bucky and a girl he never met before have to go undercover as married on a mission to Europe. He feels alienated in the modern world, while she goes through life alone and abandoned. Maybe they can find a new home in each other, but she’s not easily convinced.

7. Soldat by @the-fallen-nightmare

Winter Soldier!Bucky x Reader, Slight Steve Rogers x Reader

Captain America and Reader have worked together at SHIELD for over a year. What happens when they have a run in with The Winter Solider and Steve finds out the secret Reader had been hiding from him all this time? And what happens when reader is captured by Hydra and The Winter Soldier, again. Can she make Soldat remember her or is her life with Steve just a slow fading memory now?  

+ Soldat Trilogy

8. pansies, pain and other things about bucky | sex and sage flowers by @bucky-bucket-barnes

Bucky x Enhanced!Reader (2 parts)

You and Bucky are begrudgingly paired on a mission together. This is less than ideal considering neither of you are too keen on the other tagging along. All goes as normal until a surprise attack severely hurts both of you. Feeling incredibly guilty, Bucky helps you tend to your wounds. He has trouble admitting it, but he wants to make sure you’re safe.

9. Mr. Grumpy by @holylulusworld

Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Bucky hates omegas. You change his mind.

10. Picture Perfect by @writingsoftheloser ✨

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

When Steve asks his collegue to be his fake girlfriend, she accepts, thinking nothing could really go wrong. Then, she meets Steve’s best friend.

11. Show Me Love by @lenavonschweetz

Professor!Bucky x Reader

Where sex-on-legs Dr. Barnes is your History professor that makes it impossible to pay attention in class.  Perhaps it’s the danger of it all, but god help you - you can’t stay away.

12. Siege of the Heart by @world-of-aus

Chubby!Bucky x Reader

With a ring burning a hole in his desk, bucky begins to have second thoughts

14. Bucky Barnes | 2 by @assembletheimagines

Dad!Bucky x Reader (2 Parts)

Bucky Barnes, the winter soldier, a ghost story, deadly assassin and-

15. All We See by @kiritella

Bucky x Reader

You’re the person Bucky goes to for a breath of fresh air, the one who’s smile is the brightest, the one that has the softest voice.  You are sweet and kind, something he is falling for a little more every day, but you have someone, and he respects it...what happens when he finds out your special someone turns out to be a monster you can’t seem to get away from?

16. Deception by @avecra

Mob!Bucky x Stark!Reader

Growing up in the dark business your father ran, violence wasn’t new to you. Rivalries and bloodbaths were something you unfortunately were used to. And in order to save your father from an unnecessary fight, you force yourself into an arranged marriage with Brock Rumlow. But when he threatens your father over a small mistake on your part, you find yourself in front of your husband’s biggest rival and your old friend, Bucky Barnes. With the shared history between the two of you, Bucky finds himself drawn to you once again, and will risk everything he has just to keep you safe.

17. Радость моя (+7 series) by @assembletheimagines

Dad!Bucky x Reader

Bucky being a dad.

18. The Light We Lost by @world-of-aus

Mob!Bucky x Reader

James Buchanan Barnes had been it for you, and you wanted to believe that what the two of you had, was you making it. You wanted to be the other side of the statistics that actually made it, but your marriage wasn’t meant for this life. You fought hard to make your way back to him, to get him to see you, but life had a funny way of kicking you down when you were already down.

19. Typo by @shurisneakers ✨

Doctor!Bucky x Reader Social Media AU*

What happens when he texts the wrong number and suddenly there are memes and friendships involved.

*I’m not sure if I should put this as Social Media AU so tell me if I’m wrong plz😅

20. Bucky and the Bed by @that-damn-girl

Bucky x Agent!Reader

You and Bucky are stranded in the middle of a snowy nowhere when there is an 'electronic blackout' during your mission. With no back ups or any way to contact your team, you take refuge from the worsening weather in the only cabin you find  in miles. Not to mention, with no power, Bucky's become your personal heater and there's only one bed.

21. drifting by @real-jane

Bucky x Reader

bucky saves the life of a woman when she's buried in an avalanche. faced with the possibility that his cover might be blown, bucky must keep the woman alive, and try to keep her from finding out who he is... or what he's done.

22. My Favorite Flower by @theyoutubedork

Bucky x Florist!Reader (2 Parts)

Bucky goes to your floral shop to get flowers for all the unsuccessful dates he’s been on. Soon, he only goes to buy flowers for an excuse to see you.

23. Misfire by @shurisneakers ✨

Bucky x Reader

The four times Bucky tries to ask you out and fails.

24. Project V by @babyboibucky

Bucky x Reader College AU

You ask your best friend Bucky a favor of a lifetime.

25. The Only Exception by @whitestarbucky

Bucky x Reader Soulmate AU

Humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves. A lesson that taunted Bucky Barnes his whole life. Perhaps it was why he refused to believe in it. He couldn’t afford to. Then you came into his life to challenge his fears to their deepest degrees, not once, but twice. Whether he liked it or not.

26. Untouchable by @dreamwritesimagines ✨

40’s Bucky x Reader

What happens when Bucky Barnes falls in love with someone he shouldn’t have?  

27. I Want to Hold Your Hand by @thismustbefakeme

Bucky x Reader

Set after TFATWS. Reader is part of the Newly appointed Captain America's growing team. Reader has had a crush on Bucky and vice versa. When they finally admit their feelings...shenanigans ensue.

28. obsidian by @bentobarnes

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

you and bucky lead a peaceful life after the big battle with thanos but what happens when one day everything starts getting a little big stranger?

29. home for the holidays by @classylo

Roommate!Bucky x Reader

your mom had been pestering you for weeks about coming home for thanksgiving and bringing along the boyfriend you've kept secret for so long...

30. 10 Signs an Introvert Likes You by @andyl394 ✨

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

Bucky wasn’t the type of guy to show his feelings and neither were you the one to notice subtle things, until you come across this video; A guidance that may help you discover rather The Winter Soldier likes you or not.

31. Blink Twice by @simmerandwrite

Bucky x Reader

It was just an undetermined amount of time in a safehouse with a stranger: Bucky “I didn’t come here to make friends” Barnes himself. Would it really be all that different from your lonely life with your cat in the city? Bucky was basically a cat, anyway. He was quiet on his feet, only really made noise when it was dinner time, and you both seemed to just coexist without acknowledging each other. His mandate was to keep you safe. What could go wrong?

32. face the sun by @buckys-darling

King!Bucky x Queen!Reader Royal AU

To ensure the prosperity of their two kingdoms, a determined Princess and reluctant King are to be wed. She is willing to commit, but he can’t seem to let his lover go.

33. Don’t Say Anything by @cumonbucky

Bucky x Reader

You finally decide to tell Bucky that you’ve been in love with him since the day you met but what happens when you walk in on him with a girl? And not just any girl; Natasha.

34. Love At First Grade by @buckysimp101

Single Dad!Bucky x Single Mom!CEO!Reader

When father and first grade teacher Bucky Barnes ends up with Avery L/N in his class, the daughter of the “ruthless” CEO of L/N Enterprises, he's in for a surprise that's sure to change his life.

35. Seventy Years by @writingcroissant

Bucky x Reader

You were with Steve in the Hydra Valkyrie when it crashed into the Arctic. 70 years later you wake up in an entirely new world and have to find out a few heartbreaking details from your past. It’s hard to find your bearings in the world that’s so different than the one you’re used to and just as you think you finally managed to find your way back, a certain someone unexpectedly returns. But he’s not the guy you used to love.

36. The Friendly Wager by @justsomebucky ✨

Chef!Bucky x Reader Modern AU

Reader and Bucky Barnes are neighbors and best friends. After yet  another bad date, reader comes home to find Bucky with his typical  weekend target. They decide to make a wager about dating, but is there  more on the line than reader cares to admit?  

37. Love or Hate by @justsomebucky

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

When the reader’s shot at a better life is stolen from her, she  continues to see the person responsible all over town. Will she learn that there’s a fine line between  love and hate?  

38. all you need by @traitorjoelite

Publisher!Bucky x Author!Reader

just after finishing college and your first novel, you meet bucky barnes - a friend of a friend, a publisher, and hopefully something more

39. Bucky’s Got Game | Doc’s Got Game by @real-jane ✨

Bucky x Doctor!Reader (2 Parts)

Bucky's got a crush, and Sam's a little worried about whether or not he's gonna see it to fruition.

40. The Holiday Hack by @gogolucky13

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

You ask Bucky to be your stand-in boyfriend for your family’s Christmas party.

41 The Quest For Love by @sgtjbuccky

Bucky x Reader Modern AU

Work has always been a priority for Bucky, leaving things like love long forgotten, and for him it’s no problem, but for Sam and Steve it is the biggest problem to grace this earth. Fed up with Bucky and his constants protest and avoidance of love, they set him up on a series of dates to find the girl of his dreams with the help of the magical spirit of December. Only for Bucky to realize that love isn’t always found where one goes looking for it, but may be close by.