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#AARON I WOULD DIE FOR YOU
beautiful--tragedy · 4 months
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I need Aaron Tveit’s version of Pretty Women injected into my bloodstream.
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ratatatastic · 1 month
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"Listen, I love seeing you get into it after the whistle, too, man. Because you'll throw down—Like, you and [Steven] Stamkos went at it... you been going at it with a lot of different guys, but Evan Bouchard—" "I'm not tough! I'm not tough! No! I felt bad about that, man..." "I gotta ask about the chokehold, though! With Evan and he's like tapping out! Is he making any noises? Do you even know that he's in a compromised position? That maybe he can't breathe or whatever? What was going through your mind when this happened? And what was your reaction when you saw it afterwards?" "Yeah, I mean, listen some guys like to keep up the persona... I'm not the toughest guy in the league, I'll never claim to be that. I don't fight often. I haven't—I don't think I did last year at all, but I do believe in protecting yourself. You know, I saw Barkov get hit, and it was pretty dirty hit in my mind—in the moment, right?...before and after replay, and stuff like that. You understand the league made the right call, and what not... But, I see him, he's vulnerable, he's one of their better players, one of our better players on the ice, that was all it was, right? Just grab him and do something. You know, I felt bad about it, I apologised to him in the handshake line on the way out, right? It's all part of the game."
"What did he say? 'No problem'?" "'Go fuck yourself!'" "No, he said, 'All good, no issue.' I'm sure I'll get hit from behind next year or something so..." "'See, I got 45 points in playoffs...'" "Hey, but I'm with ya! I said it at the time! The Draisaitl hit on Barkov—Like, he knew what he was doing, he went straight through his head...I don't know..." "It's—No doubt, no doubt." "...In regular season he's probably getting suspended. You know, if that's the regular season..." "Yeah, and you know what? It all ended well, and Barkov was fine so... the league made the right call obviously, right?" "Yeah..." "Whatever...but when Max Domi—years ago...and he's kind-of like pressuring you, pressuring you, and you're like, 'What?' And you didn't get your guard up and he catches you with one...he catches you right in the jaw, you ate one! Were you thinking afterwards like, 'Man, I know I'm drawing a penalty here, but I gotta protect myself so I don't eat a fucking punch again like this, and set myself back with concussions'?" "Yeah, that obviously taught me a lot about protecting myself, for sure. For sure. You'd rather be the first one in there than the last one so...Yeah, it's not about dropping the gloves or anything, but getting your guard up and—definitely being the first guy to separate yourself, I think, is important. Yeah, I mean, that's all I'm gonna say about that."
The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)
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hey diddle diddle the cat with the fiddle...
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"im not tough im not tough noooooo i felt bad about that man 😣😣🫣" dear god our players are acting like theyre not war criminals...ekky notoriously not a fighter hes just here for a fun time its not his fault he manages to get involved in every single scrum and starts ragdolling bodies guys
#aaron ekblad#aleksander barkov#florida panthers#i cant believe we got ekky to talk about the sasha hit...oh my god OH MY GOD#ekky absolutely resolute in his own conclusion but then trying to be as neutral as possible when talking about the way the league handled i#babygirl has his job on the line#“it was a dirty hit” “he aimed straight through his head” “if it was regular season it wouldve been a suspension”#“but also the league made the right decision at the end of the day ig”#i felt that “whatever” in my soul i went oh yeah im sure ekky#i know its your job or whatever to not light this league on fire but i dont have the same qualms the league shouldve been harsher :)#your feet left the ground dont “im not someone who plays wanting to injure” me :)#that may be true at other points in time but in that fucking moment your intent was to injure#i thought id be over this by now but no im still very much not#im still gonna be fucking petty over this shit till the day i die you hear me#do you ever think about ekky essentially admitting he felt so antsy that it pushed him to do something he later regrets because he just fel#so powerless and wanted to regain an ounce of control back in a 1 for 1 nightmare scenario#he talks a lot with his hands so yeah it is certainly something to see him start to fiddle with them as he starts to remember the sasha hit#this is just a fascinating study on ekkys habits and mannerisms when he starts to feel restless#also whyd you have to whine out the “im not tough im not tough noooooo”#man haunted by his past sins but would do them again if it mean sasha would be okay by the end of it#or however that goes
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flugame-mp3 · 7 months
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im going to kill with hammers whoever invented the stupid idea of trading musical legboots. girl we are all watching the same illicit shaky iphone recording of sweaty guys on stage LET ME HAVE IT
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mx-lamour · 1 month
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HI HELLO WHAT
I have stumbled upon a man who I would absolutely cast as Alek Gwilym in an I, Strahd movie.
Nice to meet you, Aaron Taylor-Johnson. I have seen none of your work. 😅
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codename-adler · 3 months
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adlerrr i started reading your dance til you find someone to die for fic and already i'm obsessed with it this will absolutely be my binge read all night 👍👍👍 i cant wait :P
OMG u making me kick my feet & giggle fr FR orpheus 😭🥹😭
i’m taking it slow for the upcoming updates but rest assured there WILL BE more from Aaron & Kevin, i swear on my life!!!!
thank u thank u thank u i won’t disappoint i promise!!!
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Miles "Hey" Morales coming in with the Shoulder Touch
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jakeperalta · 1 year
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if/when taylor invites jack up on stage with her and I am not in attendance I WILL be committing arson. just so we're clear
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livvyofthelake · 1 year
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this is crazytown. what if they do this in the wicked powers. cassie you’re not gonna do this in the wicked powers right. cassie you know better than to do this in the wicked powers. right. say right. 😐
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daisyjoners · 2 years
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tag dump! nana’s version (atualizando aos poucos por ser muita gente)
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#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ we only look like young stars because you can't see old scars ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ heath & ramona.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ all these people think love is for show but i would die for you in secret ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ victor & miranda.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ your integrity makes me seem small ; you paint dreamscapes on the wall ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ avery & amelia.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ back before i knew how much i had to lose ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ emre & vienna.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ drew a map on your bedroom ceiling ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ evan & dougie.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ i didn't see the news ‘cause we were somewhere else ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ melina & olivia.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ i once was poison ivy but now i'm your daisy ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ haseul & hui.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ you must like me for me ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ sunmi & minhyun.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ i’m under your spell ; drawn to you so helplessly ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ astrid & ahin.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ you’re quite the charmer ; my knight in armour ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ margo & blaine.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ i don’t wanna look at anything else now that i saw you ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ daniel & mai.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ say you love me every waking moment ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ maddie & forrest.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ crazy little thing called love ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ chaeyeon & soyi.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ everybody wants you but i don't like a gold rush ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ miso & baekho.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ harper & snow.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ aaron & cleo.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ i could lay and just look in your eyes ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ hoyeon & peggy.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ captain crash and the beauty queen from mars ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ sungyu & taekhee.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ our love ain't water under the bridge ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ dawon & channie.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ eunhye & minkyu.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ i wanna be with you everywhere ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ yuna & seokmin.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ my name will be stained on your lips ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ hyeri & yeeun.#⧽ ⠀ ⠀ ── ⠀ ⠀ twin souls destined to find each other ⠀ ⠀ ﹕ ⠀ ⠀ erik & lola.
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This is literally the most dramatic thing on fucking earth and I understand that. But I genuinely do not feel like I belong here, I was not made for this
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ptersparkers · 2 years
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spoiling is aaron's love language for sure! he spoils the crap out of reader as the other anon said, he spoils Jack and other future bbs too so much! (but ofc not in a bad way)
Aaron just loves being a simp for his loves!! :3
you, sweet anon, are totally correct.
aaron definitely knows the boundary between spoiling you and jack versus giving into your every demand. with you, he likes taking you to different restaurants around the city and buying you certain items you've been talking about (whether to him or with a friend).
with jack and future kiddos, he obviously wants the best for them (savings, college fund, etc) but he also indulges them and takes them on mini vacations when time permits, clothes, toys, etc.
bonus: aaron has a babygirl he can't say no to, no matter how much he tries.
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bunnyb34r · 7 days
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Was anyone gonna tell me Aaron Carter died two fucking years ago, or was I just supposed to find that out from a reddit post ab 20 years expired Shake & Bake on my own?
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crayonverse · 5 months
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i need to mkae. m y own gacha react video so i cant stop being so sick and evil abut ein because noone gets him right . ramble in tags ok ay byteee
#like he has the worlds worst inferiority superiority complex a man can have#everyone in his life hates him to the point of death. the only positive connection he ever really had was with michael The Actual Devil#he craves violence and power but hes not strong physically enough to get it naturally#he manipulates his way into every relationship and situation he can. he needs to be the center of attention. he needs to have control#the only person's opinion hes ever valued was michael who gave nothing in return. michael openly told other people ein meant nothing to him#and in s6 he tells ein 2 kill aaron when he needs aaron alive all because he needs aarons wolf form and that ein will fail in killing him#in the s6 trailer michael literally says to eins face “the fact that hes alive is the only reason i havent killed you”#and ein's response?? “I can still be useful” thats his first fucking thought#his father believed him to be a monster because he committed the sin of being a bastard child. zack projected his own insecurities onto ein#- which in turn made those fears come true. it gave michael the perfect opportunity to twist the knife in zacks gut. turn his worst fear -#- into reality.#like even though jessica tried to say that “theres nothing deeper with ein” because she cant conceptualize the horrors she unleashed#she cant deny the dynamic ein and michael had. one of a mentor and student#with the student doing everything he can to get that gold star. the prize he wanted. michael's validation. but michael would never -#- give that up to ein. he would rather ein die than ever praise him. even in death michael only glances towards eins corpse.#he doesnt say a word because why would he? ein was his little solider. an obedient dog who followed his orders.#a son whose only want was his father's attention.#as you can see my autism is strong with ein.
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nesmamomen · 1 month
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🛑YOU ARE NOT SELFISH‼️
I asked every member of my family if they felt they would survive this war‼️, and surprisingly they all gave the same answer, no, they denied that they would survive. I did not expect to hear my sister, who is only 10 years old, tell me that she feels like she is going to die soon and that she is praying to God not to let a missile tear her apart when she dies. How can this world be so cruel? Is it fair that a child dies while dreaming of life? I need you to help me protect the rest of my family. I cannot afford to lose any more of them. Any amount will make a difference in saving them.
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luveline · 5 months
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omg jade i heard you asking for hotch reqs and i RAN to your inbox
what about hotch taking care of r after they have a lil baby?? i think if i saw that man hold a new baby id die!!!! he could hole their whole head in the palm of his hand 😭😭😭
Every time you move, your hips and more intimate regions hurt like a hot poker. You probably won’t cry, but you require some tylenol and some sympathy to carry on. “Hotch?” you ask. 
Silence. You tip your head back over the armrest to find him. Even upside down, he looks handsome, sitting in the two seater with your little bundle of agony in his arms. Or, arm. The baby rests neatly in the curve of his forearm, his free hand dedicated to the baby’s small back. 
“Hotch?” 
“Who is she talking to?” Hotch asks your baby gently. You know what he’s doing immediately. 
“You get so hung up on the Hotch thing, if you didn’t want to be called Hotch, you shouldn’t have introduced yourself as Hotch.”  
You’ve been calling him Hotch for years, you aren’t going to suddenly kick the habit now. 
“She was my subordinate,” Hotch tells the baby. “She couldn’t have special treatment, even if she is the prettiest subordinate I ever had. It wouldn’t have been fair.” 
“I wouldn’t mind some more tylenol.” 
He raises his gaze. You twist into a painful but better suited position to watch him move the baby closer to his collar, his hand covering the entirety of the baby’s small head. Hotch said Jack was a little baby too, but you’d been terrified regardless, and no matter the size, it was too big for you to come out of the ordeal unscathed. Tylenol isn’t so much wanted as required. 
“I’ll get it for you,” he promises. 
“Thank you, Aaron.” 
“Oh, you’re welcome, honey.” 
He stands and shifts your tiny baby further into his chest, little snores pressed to his collar. “You okay to take him? I’ll make you some lunch at the same time.”
“I can’t eat.” 
“Just chips and a sandwich, honey. You can manage that.”  
You open your arms, letting Hotch lower your baby down into your arms and the surrounding nest of blankets. “You need to go see where Jack is,” you say. 
“I know,” Hotch says, kissing your cheek quickly. “I’m gonna make his lunch too. I’ll be right back.” 
You cuddle your baby to your chest and lean back. Your baby Hotchner is, as previously stated, so tiny, but he’s a nice weight against you, and he sleeps like a champ. You thought easy babies were a myth until now. So far he’s done nothing but sleep and stare at you whenever you talk. You think it’s love, or the surprise of seeing the voices that talked to him nonstop while he was in your belly now out in the open. He does the same to Hotch whenever he’s awake. 
You haven’t named him yet. You asked Jack for help, but he’d recommended you name your new baby Mister Awesome, so you’re at a loss for now. It doesn’t matter, though. He’ll have a name eventually. Until then, he’s the baby. And he’s very well loved. 
You wish he hadn’t hurt so badly to bring into the world, is all. 
Somewhere deeper in the house, Jack tumbles down the stairs, to Hotch's audible horror. “Are you alright? What are you doing, buddy?” 
“I’m being quick!” 
“Please be careful!” There’s the sound of a kiss. “You sure you’re okay? Yeah? Gonna go and keep Y/N company?” 
“Yeah, dad.” 
“Okay, thank you. I’m gonna make your lunch now, any requests?” 
“Peanut butter. And chips. And pretzels. And orange slices? And–”
“How about I bring you lots of everything, bud?” 
“Yes. Please. Hug?” 
They must hug, though you can’t see or hear it, as Jack walks into the living room with wildly tousled hair and a smile. He climbs over the back of the couch even though he shouldn’t, dropping onto your feet, a tangle of arms and legs. “Hi, Y/N.” 
“Hi baby. You hungry?” 
“Dad’s gonna make me a sandwich.” 
You reach over to collect his hand in yours, squeezing his fingers gently. You’d thought for sure that having a baby in the house would upset him, if only because his usual routine was disrupted —he’d had to make room for you first, and now suddenly there’s a new baby taking all the attention? it’s not what only kids usually want— but Jack’s an easy kid too. He squeezes your hand back, shimmying up the couch to lean on your leg. It aches, every touch to your lower half a reminder of the pain further inward, but he’s not rough. He climbs further onto your leg and rests his cheek on your shoulder. 
“Is this a cuddle?” you murmur. 
“Pretty please.” 
“No please required.” You frown to yourself, trying to juggle the baby into the opposite arm so you can wrap the one closest to Jack around his shoulders. You manage it poorly. “Dad makes this look so easy.” 
“He has longer arms,” Jack says with a shrug. His nose jabs the skin just above your chest. “Don’t worry about it.” 
“I won’t. Thank you, babe.” 
Jack touches the baby’s back. “He’s sleeping?” 
“Yeah. Must be weird getting to sleep all the time and then suddenly being born. At least he’s not crying.” 
You and Jack lay with each other for a while, watching the baby snore as you whisper about what Hotch is making for lunch. You wish he’d brought you the tylenol before he started, but he’s got a lot going on. You’re glad he’s the one making lunch (though you can’t be expected to right now, considering). The idea of having to stand there and butter a sub roll sounds like a low level of torture. 
“Don’t let me fall asleep holding the baby,” you tell Jack, your eyes drifting closed as Jack snuggles closer to your face.
“I can go get dad.” 
“I’m here,” Hotch says swiftly. You drag your face to the side to see him in the doorway, two dinner trays balanced with ease in his hands despite their obvious weight and full glasses on either side. “Don’t fall asleep, I’m coming. Sorry about the wait.” 
Hotch puts your trays on the coffee table and scoops the baby from your chest, leaving behind an awfully warm patch of skin. 
“Tylenols on the tray,” he says, smiling at you lovingly. “You okay?” 
“Fine. Jack’s gonna feed me.” 
To his credit, your lovely stepson offers to really feed you, but you’re not so tired now there’s food in front of you. Your stomach groans in want. 
Hotch stands looking down at you, baby somehow even smaller looking in his arms. “Need anything else?” 
You hold half of your sandwich up to him. “Eat that.” 
“I’m fine. My hands are full.” 
“I’m not asking, Aaron. Take it.” You force the sandwich on him. “We both know you only need one hand.” 
He’s cautious not to rain crumbs down on the baby. You make no such fuss, bread and lettuce falling down into your lap as you eat. Jack can’t stop giggling, “You’re not s’posed to eat like that!”
“Sorry!” you say, “I’m just so hungry!” 
“It’s okay,” he says. “Dad will vacuum you.” 
Hotch’s mouth is full to bursting, but his nod is vehement. He swallows hard. “I’ll mop you, too.”  
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g0dlyunsub · 4 months
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on your own. | part one
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part one | part two
a stalker forces you to abandon the bau and leaves you in the streets strapped to an explosive. when spencer finds you, you’re left with a bitter decision to try and save him.
pairing :: spencer x fem bau!reader
warnings :: general cm themes, mentions/depictions of stalking, kidnapping, needles, blood, explosives, and death, lots of angst
word count :: 3k
author’s note :: this is literally the prelude to pure angst. poor reader has been through too much :(
accompanying song :: exit music (for a film) by radiohead
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one year ago
you never said goodbye to spencer reid. 
the first set of warnings came in the form of a letter enveloped in frail parchment paper. you found it on your desk after you returned with the rest of the team from a case. the tiredness washed over you as you slumped in your chair, and you lazily reached for the envelope to detach the sealed flap from the wax.
it’s at that moment, when you read the first sentence, that you wished you never unfolded the letter. 
but your eyes betrayed you, and they shifted left and right as you proceeded to read through the spouts of hatred and animosity. 
you already know the story. you will die. everyone you love will also die. you will lose them forever. you will be sad and angry. you will weep. you will bargain. you will make demands. you will beg. you will pray. it will make no difference. nothing you can do will bring them back. you know this. your knowing changes nothing. 
i will make you understand this unfathomable truth again and again, as if for the very first time.
you missed the person you were five minutes ago. 
after re-reading the letter four times, you realized the uncanny similarity of the message to the iliad, maybe book 21. it was most likely someone trying to spew out a hollow threat against you and the team, using a contemporary translation to sound modish and intimidating. you made a mental note to ask spencer who the translator was once he returned with his coffee.
it wasn’t entirely uncommon for you to receive death threats, especially after working at the bau for five years. while you’ve managed to lock up some of those who had enacted the worst possible actions against humanity, you also became part of the receiving end – a channel for all of the violence to funnel through. 
before you placed the letter back into its envelope, you noticed a small card tucked in the corner of the sleeve. you cautiously took it out, a glossy sticker of a red eye on the face of the card glaring into your own irises.
you turned it over.
this one instantly drowned the color from your face. it knocked out all of your emotion, sealed it in a box, and shipped it away on a freighter that was already set out on a doomed path. 
tell him about me, go on. tell doctor spencer reid about me. i bet he would enjoy choosing who to save: aaron hotchner or david rossi.  
you heard someone clear their throat from behind you, and you swore you heard your own heart beat against the walls of your own skin, thudding like a drum with its sunken chambers. you straightened your posture and shoved the letter to the side. you prayed it wasn’t spencer standing behind you.
you sighed in relief when you turned to face anderson.
“ma’am, a letter for you.” he handed you another letter, this time a charcoal-gray envelope with no mailing address inscribed on it. just your name. after he was a considerable distance away from your desk, you teared the flap with shaky fingers and peered inside.
it was a set of photographs, the film papers bundled together with a single rubber band. you lifted the envelope, letting gravity do the work as the stash of photos fell to your lap. 
your throat ran dry. your worst fear was sitting on your lap, and you could do nothing but stare back at it with panic-stricken eyes.
your cheeks suffused with a color of pale blue and a trigger blew off in your head. 
each photo depicted you with a bau member. and you recognized every moment.
you were grabbing prentiss’ arm as you laughed at the nonsensical joke one of her date partners had tried on her.
you were hugging rossi at his doorstep after being invited to vent personal troubles over some scotch and wine.
you were giving jack a high-five after babysitting him as hotch thanked you for covering him when he went to new york to visit beth.
you were sitting at the dinner table with jj and will, happily eating from a plate of steak and fries as you discussed your future plans to go travel abroad.
you were with garcia, carrying multiple shopping bags as you stopped to point at the beautiful dress showcased in the vintage store across the street.
you were deeply engaged in conversation with morgan, sitting on a park bench and watching the children run around as though not a single worry clouded over their heads.
and you were with spencer, legs crossed as you took a sip out of your hot coffee and exchanged novels to read. a red ‘x’ marked over both of your faces. 
tell doctor spencer reid about me.
the tears fell one by one, staining the tanned paper and leaving the inked words to bleed across the wet spots.
you will die.
if ending credits ever existed in a movie as tragic as yours, they would roll right now – and you would be as good as a deceased character, your name marked in white against a black screen.
i will make you understand this unfathomable truth again and again, as if for the very first time.
you drew in a shaky breath and folded the letter with trembling fingers. the creases retracted the notebook-sized sheet into a flattened square. each turn of the paper felt like you were shattering your own bones, irreversibly folding them into an inhuman form.
two weeks. that was how much time you gave yourself to leave the bau. and to fray the twine between you and your beloved doctor.
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you received the second warning a week before your departure. 
this one was a direct threat, a ruthless sign that he wasn’t giving you extra time to think about your options. in fact, he made it clear that you didn’t have an option.
your stalker had taken jack for twelve hours, during which your team – hotch especially – searched relentlessly. no one paused for a coffee break, and every single one of you was going to devote every waking hour to bring jack home safe. the last thing your team needed was a foyet wannabe, and everyone was on edge for reports, sightings, anything.
but the clues trickled to you. he dropped hints for you directly, even one at your cell number. while you relayed everything to your team, no one asked the questions until later. why did he leave you with the hints, trying to lead you to jack’s trail when it should’ve been hotch?
the inquiries dropped like flies when jack was brought to the steps of the fbi office by a “mysterious presence”, according to a messenger who passed hotch a card.
when the card was shown to you, a bone-chilling shiver propagated down your spine and your pupils dilated.
you already know the story, it read.
no one else knew what it meant except for you. typed in courier and printed on the all-too-familiar brown letter paper, the words bore into your soul and etched onto your heart with a searing pain.
you were angry. so, so angry. not at the fact that you couldn’t even get three hours of sleep ever since the week before, not at the fact that you had a stalker vexing you with taunts, but at the fact that he was targeting everyone but you.
to you, he was a coward. if it was rancor he harbored against you, he should’ve confronted you directly. tear a ligament, make you swim in your own blood, leave you for roadkill, you didn’t care. if he was so inclined to get at you, then you’d let him. but never – never – could you forgive anyone who let others in your own mess.
you reached out to hotch first. you told him you had found a new job in upstate new york, where you were going to work as a lecturer at a local university. to make it sound convincing, you told him that a family member of yours had fallen sick and was currently residing there, and you needed to seek solace in their presence.
he understood, just as you expected. he always did, without question. he’d pay visits at your new place and at the university, and catch up with you once in a while. jack would love to see you there, he said.
rossi, too, accepted it without much hesitation. he gave you one of his heartwarming smiles, wrinkled eyes reassuring you for any hesitation you had trying to tell him before. come by any time, we’ll always welcome you with open arms, he spoke with genuine kindness.
prentiss and jj, more reluctantly so. they gave you a tougher time, practically interrogating you – asking you where the address of your new place was, since when you had planned on leaving the bau, and if you needed help clearing out your current place.
you’ve – i mean we all have, a little, but you seem to be… disturbed lately. especially after… jack was abducted, prentiss told you. prentiss and her watchful eye. it’s why you specifically planned to tell her with jj in the room, so she’d reserve the harsher questions for another time when it’d be just the two of you, but by then you’d find a way to avoid the conversation altogether.
morgan didn’t say much. you had expected that though, considering the fact that you would often go to him to consult worries, plans, and theorize about each other’s future. he was silent when you delivered the news, but then he pulled you in as if to shield you from all of your lingering worries.
promise me, l/n. promise me you’ll come visit.
you broke like a brittle twig in his grasp. you wanted to give up so badly.
i promise, you whispered back. the masterful lie rolled off of your tongue before you could withhold yourself, and it lay suspended in the air with heavy guilt and ill-fated dishonesty.
garcia never accepted departure well. you could only watch in pity and remorse as the mascara stained her cheeks and the tears landed at her keyboard. her arms shook as she tried to embrace you, and you didn’t even have it in you to return the hug.
you wanted garcia to be the last to see you. you wanted to save your goodbye with her for the very last, a fluorescent presence in your otherwise gloomy life. her bubbly spirit met your silence with indescribable serenity, and you monumentalized your last moment in the bau with her. she made your life worth living.
you were trying. you were trying to spare the safety of your dearest friends at the expense of your own. you were trying to reclaim the blood that rushed to your face. you were begging for one chance. who could blame you?
spencer did.
you didn’t leave a single note for spencer. you never even told him a thing. to him, your departure was indigestible torment. he usually doesn’t wish the worst upon anyone, but with you, he wondered if he had to make an exception.
you ended up leaving the office a day before your said departure date, because you didn’t want to risk spencer finding out any earlier. you had meticulously planned everything out, asking every team member not to tell another. to your knowledge, no one knew that anyone else knew, save for prentiss and jj.
the day after you left, you received a text from spencer.
can we please talk? 
his message lit up your screen, a lone star in the night sky that was drowned of its usual vibrancy. 
you were too far into this to take a step back. 
after looking up to the sky one last time, taking in the sight of the polluted air clouding the atmosphere with your bloodshot eyes, you dropped your cell into a garbage bin.
you knew he’d be mad. 
you wanted him to stay mad. it would make all of this — the pain of moving on — easier.
some day, he’d understand. you hoped. you hoped and you hoped.
your bitter end was inevitable.
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for three weeks, spencer was all alone.
he drew no effort to talk to anyone about it, because you robbed him of his mental clarity.
since the first day you joined the bau, you held him spellbound. you listened to his ramblings, exchanged book recommendations with him, and sat next to him in the darkness as he lay gasping for air after another one of his horrendous nightmares.
you were there for him, until you weren’t.
your absence was his worst torment, a form of loneliness he couldn’t sleep away.
there were times when he’d pour twice the water needed in his kettle, only to realize after that he set down a single coffee cup.
there were times when he’d intentionally wear his tie crooked, only to realize you were never going to be in the office to point it out for him.
there were times when you’d appear in his dreams, when he’d awake and see nothing but a pile of books before him.
you turned into a dull ache in his chest.
you became the sadness so deep in his chest that he couldn’t even cry about it. 
he wondered how it felt now that you left him behind. he put all of his cards on the table, exposing to you his most vulnerable moments and emotions. if only you showed your hand.
he wanted it to haunt you.
he wanted to hate you.
you were impossible longing, impossible infatuation. he thought you were unloveable.
who could blame him?
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present day
you never left virginia. 
in fact, you were stuck making ends meet as a writer for a local news journal under the pseudonym lynne davis.
the truth is, it was impractical for you to find a new job and relocate within the mere span of two weeks. quitting your job at the bau was a given, but that also meant that your compensation would drop significantly. considering that you couldn’t work in law enforcement anymore, you had to start over from scratch.
so you tirelessly worked to scour earnings by typing away, writing editorial pieces on sports and personal health.
your night job, you worked as a cashier at a seven-eleven. because you couldn’t work remotely for your shifts, you took up a disguise. you dyed and cut your hair, exclusively wore long-sleeved articles of clothing, and kept a baseball cap on, making sure it snugged tightly against your forehead and hid your eyes.
yet in hindsight, nothing could have prepared you for the worst. the issue with all of this was that you were too consistent. had you changed up your routine from time to time, perhaps you wouldn’t have been caught while commuting to your night shift. but you were too predictable for him.
it happens when you get off of the bus.
when the man bumps into you, he murmurs apologies that you can’t ignore.
“sorry- are you okay?” he asks.
you look up briefly to meet his eye before forcing a small smile with upturned lips.
“yeah, um, don’t worry about it. i’m all good.” you tell him rushingly with the wave of your hand, before turning to walk to the store.
but he doesn’t leave you. his heavy steps mimic yours, treading quickly along the asphalt. after taking a few staggering steps, you stop. you annoyedly turn around, deciding to tell him off. 
“hey, i don’t know what you’re doing-”
you never get to finish your sentence. when you look at him, he’s already face to face with you, one hand grasping the side of your shoulders while the other presses a needle against your arm.
your entire time at the bau, you took pride in your acute awareness of your surroundings, never letting your guard down even around those you trusted. so this was the price you had to pay for your lack of practice – everything folded into a blurry stream as you looked down to see your legs dissipate in the ground, almost like you were falling in quicksand.
when you wake up, you’re on the ground in a narrow alleyway. you don’t know how much time has passed, but it’s hot and the air’s fetid and there’s an itch spreading throughout your entire body-
you look down. your hands are stained with a horrific shade of red, and there’s a crumpled note in your palm. you unfold it.
it will make no difference.
he had you. you scowl at the thought of him subduing you, strangling you with ropes and leashing you to a chair.
you freeze. he’s also made you wear a black leather jacket, bundling you up in the thick layer of suffocating heat. 
you unzip the jacket, and the walls in your head cave in instantly. to your dismay, you’re wearing an explosive vest, armed with a detonator and all. a timer lies near your ribcage, and your heart sinks. it hasn’t started yet.
a shaky exhale leaves your lips as you try to assess your situation.
you wish death would’ve consumed you already, but you have to stand up on your feet and run, away from the buildings and the people, as fast as your weary legs can carry you.
you stand and start to run in the opposite direction from the main road, the sounds of traffic bleeding into your ears as your feet slam against the ridged ground.
parched with unquenched thirst and begrimed with dust from the asphalt, you come to a stop when you reach a fork in the road. 
as you frantically try to think of which route to take, you hear it.
“y/n?”
it’s too familiar. the voice ridden with a slight rasp, carrying an air of inquisitiveness and soothing tenderness.
it sounds like clarity amidst all of the chaos.
you pray it’s not him.
you turn to meet the sight of the wrinkled shirt, waistcoat, and converses smudged with dirt. the brown disheveled hair, doe eyes, and moistened lips pursing with concern.
spencer fucking reid.
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