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#AND HOME NAILED IT !!! (haha !! nailed it.. like.. i dont know.. nails are kind of house related aren't they ?)
infinibeep · 7 months
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the fact that home has their own solo for the homewarming harmonies for hearth and home album makes me SO HAPPY !
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ren-lui · 2 years
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i did these mock pjsekai profiles for the AU and im gonna ramble a bit in the readmore if you dont mind
so in the au i like to think of them as having just entered the academy, i know it says 2nd year but i think they would be the same age as the 1st years in proseka, who are like 15 bc in japan i understand they have 3 years of highschool iirc. They start playing together for an assignment and then decide to keep going as a band even after they get a nice big 100.
some details about each of them:
Bruce: he lives with alfred, who saw that boarding school was making bruce miserable and lonely so it was best to put him somewhere closer to home. I like the idea of his bass being a hand me down from alfred too, so its well-loved and has some jank here and there. I gave him celiac disease bc i recently discovered that my anemia was caused by a gluten intolerance so i wanted to project that lmao
Edward: i know in canon he lived in the orphanage and went to public school and was shit at it, but i wanted to tweak that a bit, bc i like the idea of him living with his grandma and his dad being 60s riddler but he's scummy and not around a bunch. The detail about the coffee thing is just because he doesnt drink the coffee he orders in the film, and the dart thing is bc i didnt know how else to express good aim
Selina: her dad is obviously falcone, and i imagine them being very cold towards eachother most of the time, but when they talk about raising kittens and cats they fall into this amicable tone and they kind of team up and discuss it being very civil and then they go back to being cold. In this she grew up with both of them but her mom died, and Selina and her dad had intense fights after that. She brings kittens she rescues to rehearsals if they need to be nursed, and the tuna detail is bc i want her to think of it as cat food, and i was thinking of canned tuna when i put that in bc i dont really see it sold in any other way where im from
Annika: with her i took the most liberties because there isnt much in canon about her, but i suspect maybe in the next issues of riddler year one we might see more of her, so i hope i nailed some things haha. i dont want her to be an exchange student because i feel like that would change the dynamic and maybe put a time limit on her stay in the academy, so she just lives in gotham like in the movie. She is very distant because i want her to have like a Tragic Past, maybe she was bullied back home or something so she is reluctant to talk to people. Her favourite person of the group is Selina and Edward comes second, i imagine him being very patient explaining the context for the riddles he wants her to solve (bc i like the idea of him randomly asking them weird things for them to figure out). She is kind of creeped out by bruce since he is by far the gloomiest and has a very severe expression most of the time, but its the lighthearted kind of creeped out, if that makes sense
sorry if this made no sense whatsoever haha, like i said in my ig story this one is mostly for me, and i had fun putting these together so im happy i did these, okbye¡¡
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miyaniacs · 3 years
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The One Night Stand pt.2
Toji Fushiguro x fem!reader / Satoru Gojo x fem!reader
Part 1 ; Part 3
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A/n: I AM SO OVERWHELME. Thank you for all the reblogs, i know around 10 aren’t that much but for me they really are especially in about just a day. I can’t express how thankful i am, your positive feedback is the reason why i already wrote the part 2. I do kinda plan to make a pt 3 too Haha. I‘m always open for any kind of feedback and my dm‘s / ask is also always open if any of you want to thirst or just talk haha.
Warnings: NSFW, mentions of alcohol and a blackout (nothing illegal happened!), public sex & fingering, Toji being the best dad ever (not). and typos, i was just too lazy to read through this mess lol probs going to correct it tomorrow.
Characters: Toji Fushiguro x fem!reader , Satoru Gojo x fem!reader
Form: oneshot / short story
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“Ohhh that’s why you moaned his name last night.” Tojo whispers in your ear.
Shocked you turn around and look at him, your mouth wide open.
“Careful, you don’t want the others to notice anything, do you?” He smirks. Quickly your trying to act normal again, but your mind is racing.
You did not do this.
No.
Never.
NEVER EVER.
You got drunk last night to get over the fact that Gojo was sleeping over at some random girls place.
You got drunk last night to get those thoughts out of your mind.
You got drunk last night to get over the fact that you are in love with your best friend.
And you hooked up with Toji last night to convince yourself that you don’t have any feeling for Gojo.
You simply couldn’t moan Gojos name.
That would mean that he was still present in yours thoughts.
While some other guy was fucking you.
This is bad.
This is sooo bad.
Especially since you knew that Gojo only sees you as a best friend... a best friend without the benefits.
Yeah yeah, sure how should you know if he only sees you in this way.
You two are always flirting...
But this is just an act.. a game.. you are both pretty flirty- it’s just natural.
Also ... we’re talking about Gojo,..., one of the biggest hoes you knew. If he was slightly interested in you, he’d already made a move on you.
“Hey Y/n, care to finally tell us what happened last night?” Nobara asks and you snap out of the conversation you were having with yourself in your mind.
“Oh yes pleaseeeeeee tell us all the details.” Gojo coos and earns a warning glare from you.
“Come one, y’all aren’t young enough to not piece one and one together and figure out what she was up to last night.” Toji laughs.
“We know that she has one ... or more than one.. Hickey on her neck.. BUT WHO?” Nobara reply’s  and looks at you with a smirk.
“You really think I remember his name?” You laugh, “ I woke up in his flat and then went straight out of it. All I know is, that it wasn’t worth the hickeys.” You joke.
“Oh so your hungover ass, still remembers how bad he was in bed?” Gojo teases and throws a quick glance at Toji, signaling him that he knows.
“Definitely... worst fuck I ever had, I truly doubt i came even once.” You sneer.
“Well... at least you learned your lesson now. Don’t get drunk and fuck a stranger.” Nanami sighs. “Kids, learn from her. Don’t make the same mistakes.” He looks over at the Yuji, Nobara and Megumi.
“Yes, I wouldn’t say that, for me it always went well... but that could also be because I’m just good ... at everything.” Gojo winks, “Y/n just sadly got a guy that ... didn’t knew who to ... please a women.” He says with an arrogant smirk.
“Oh really, was it that bad Y/n?” You feel a hand on your thigh, squeezing it.
“Uhm... I mean, I can’t really remember it..” you stutter, feeling Toji hand move up on your thigh.
“Well.. we should switch the topic now.” Nanami caught and shots us a glare, meanwhile Tojo whispers: ”You should be able to remember this morning right? Or do I need to show it to you again tonight.” His hand moves under the hem of your skirt. You bit the inside of your cheek, trying your best to not let any unwanted sound escape your lips. The only person that could see what’s happening under the table right now was Gojo, but it looks like he didn’t notice it.
You feel Toji’s long fingers brush over your panties, giving you some slow stokes before he decides to settling his fingers right over your clit, drawing random shapes and giving it some light pinches.
“Your fucking son sits across from us.” You hiss at him and grab his hand, trying to stop him.
“Then better be quiet.” He smirks and pinches your clit hard, truly unaffected by your hand... to be honest, you don’t really try to remove his hand... and he knows you’re enjoying this.
The muscles on your inner thighs tense and you bite your cheek even harder.
You’re close and he knows it, it’s not hard to know, judging by how wet your panties are.
You look around trying to see any glimpse of suspiciousness form one of the others on the table, but everyone is having a full hearted conversation, hell even Toji is joking around with Megumi right now. How is he able to act this way, while your sitting here struggling to make a some sort of decent conversation with Nobara.
“Ok girly look. I - I tell you, this one dress would be perfect for you.” You say and force a smile.
“But I already know that it will be sold out, when I’m able to go to the store.” She whines.
“Then... How about we  go tomorrow after practice? I’m sure Gojo doesn’t have a problem with that, right, G- GOJO.” His name left your lips waaay too loud. But what were you supposed to do, when Toji suddenly puts three of his fingers inside of you, curling them at just the right spot.
“Again... wrong name babygirl.” Toji whispers.
“I can hear you, you don’t have to scream.” Gojo says annoyed.
Gojo‘s POV
Do they really think I don’t notice. I‘m just trying to be nice to Megumi. That’s the only reason I don’t say anything... I just want to save him from the realization that Y/n, the women he adores, was fucking his dad. Or most likely he‘s fucking her right now.
The audacity.
And that she is letting him doing it???
I thought higher of her.
... wait what am I thinking.
Why should I shame her, for doing something I already did ... but why is she doing it with him... and not with me.
I want to make her squirm just by my touch, teasing her in public... even before tonight I was sure that she‘d like that. I know her ... I know her better than this old fucker does.
My hand clenched around the glass of my drink.
Concentrate on the conversation Yuji and Nanami have.
Stop focusing on the soft sloppy sounds coming from beside you.
Stop focusing on the way her legs shake... how the fabric of her skirt lifts up and down... how her hand grabs my arm... wait what?
Why is she grabbing my arm?
Your POV
You feel your climax Coming  closer and closer.
Your eyes roll to the back, your eyelids flutter, and somehow your hand finds its way to Gojos arm.
You dig your nails in his soft skin, biting your lips, trying your best to stay quiet.
Your breath stuck in your throat and your mouth opens in a silent scream, your nails digging harder in Gojos skin, surly drawing blood. He should have really had his,..., don’t touch me shield up.
Trying to catch your breath you let go of Gojos arm, his hand immediately moving over yours, while his tumb stocks the back of your hand.
Meanwhile Toji has a smug smile on his face as he removes his fingers and moves them towards his lips, licking them clean, while glancing over at you.
“Uhm.. Y/n... are you okay?” Megumi asks confused, “You look... strange.” He raises an eyebrow.
Before you can answer, Gojo already opens his mouth. “Her hangover kicks in... I think it’s better if she leaves now.”
You look at him, with a thankful smile playing on your lips.
“ I was about to leave anyways, I can take you home, not sure if you arrive home save.” Toji gets up and pulls you up with him an arm wrapped around your waist, holding you up.
“No need to. I can take care of MY best friend.” Gojo says sternly and pulls you out of Tojis grip, now holding you close to him.
Toji raises one of his eyebrows and smirks.
“What’s wrong Gojo, you don’t trust me with her?”
“Yes.” He answers coldly.
“How’s that.  Don’t think I can control myself?” He laughs.
“Think? I know you can not.”
“Please, she’s a grown women, why would it be a problem if anything happens between me and her?” He smirks. You look confused between him and Gojo, not knowing what the fuck happens.
“Because your my DAD and she is my friend/ teacher.” Megumi sighs, clearly embarrassed.
“Because I don’t want her to” Gojo huffs and you quickly wiggle out of his grip.
“YOU DONT WANT ME TO?” You cross your arms and look at him.
“Yes. You don’t have to walk around fucking with random man, way too many years older than you.”
“Oh you are one to talk. How many this week mhm? Three?” You hiss.
“Please that’s different.” He sighs and scratches his neck, “ and no, only two, i actually spent two nights with the last one.” He smiles.
“OHHHH Two nights. And you forbid me to spent two nights with the same guy?”  
To underline your words, Toji wraps an arm around your waist and rests his head on top of yours.
“What’s wrong Gojo? Jealous?” He chuckles deeply, “Come, let me get you home and take care of you babygirl.” Lifting his head, he guides you away from the table and out of the bar.
Throwing one last glance over your shoulder you see a shocked Megumi, mouth hanging wide open, Yuji and Nobara looking confused from you back to Megumi. Nanami has his head in his hands. And Gojo mouths you a: “Please don’t leave.”
His sunglasses in his hand, showing a mixture of emotions in his eyes.
Your heart tightens when you look into his eyes.
“Don’t look at him. I promise he’ll be confessing to you in a matter of time.” Toji whispers and pulls you outside.
“You- You planned this?!” You ask him shocked.
“Please his feelings for you are pretty obvious. Especially how jealous he acted, i thought he’d screamed that he loves you right there at the bar.” He throws his arm over your shoulder and pulls you closer. “Let daddy help you, yes?”
“Please don’t call yourself Daddy.” You groan.
“But I thought you liked that name for me?”
“I really need to stop getting drunk.” You whine, earning a loud laugh from him.
“But.. are you sure... about Gojo... I really do-“
“Yes. Yes he has feelings for you, which aren’t just the ones friends have.” He rolls his eyes annoyed.
“But before he gets to you, lets have some fun yeah?”
“Thank you.” You say and grab the hand, hanging over your shoulder, kissing it.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m doing this to get on his neves, not for you to be happy. I wouldn’t mind fucking you for some more days.” He smirks, lucky for him, the night hides the soft blush on his cheeks.
With his arm wrapped around you, you guide him to your apartment.
“Hey, but never finger fuck me again when your son is on the same table.” You huff.
“Why not, you basically told him that you and I are fucking.” He laughs.
“Fuck.”
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Taglist: @laceymorganwrites @ereeeeehhh @gojocumslut @channieboiiii @wingedcreatorgoopwagon ( I tagged some of uou who reblogged it, I hope this was okay )
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how do you think katsuki would handle a reader with social anxiety? I struggle with it from time to time myself. btw it's your fault i literally cant read other bakugou fics anymore bc i constantly compare them to your works 😩 the way you write him is so ACCURATE. Like u manage to hit the hammer on the head every single time
okay so in general, i think he’d do great w/ someone with social anxiety. he’s not super social himself (read: katsuki, by choice, is the most ridiculous hermit ever) so i dont think he’d mind mostly staying inside or keeping to small groups for the sake of his s/o!!! in fact i think he’d probably prefer it
bc ive always felt like he’s got a bit of social anxiety himself, you know?? like he doesn’t ever say much unless he’s starting a fight, and he never seems all that interested in going out. personally, i think its bc bakugou feels like he has to perform as this big, strong, hyper-masculine guy in public, so its not surprising that he’ll want to avoid doing that whenever he can. and if that means staying inside 24/7?? staying in his own space where its quiet and calm and non-stressful ?? and he gets all his s/o’s attention, all the time bc there’s no one else to bother them??? pls mans is thrilled
and his own social anxiety stuff is also rlly apparent with how close he stays to u when y’all are somewhere unfamiliar. like, he’ll swear up and down that its “Because you’ll be fuckin’ lost without me, idiot. ‘m not gonna waste my time lookin’ for you.”
but no that’s not it at all. rlly its bc being around new people always puts katsuki on the defensive, and honestly, he’d much rather avoid that entirely by only sticking by you. i see bakugou n his s/o being that couple that will go to a party, sit by themselves in a corner clearly having the time of their lives, and then leave early to go home and do the exact same thing (pls he’s so weird and embarrassing i love him)
omg and if u tell him that you’re getting super anxious and want to leave from anywhere, bakugou will totally just nod and agree. bc chances are he wants to leave too. he’s actually wanted to leave since the second he walked in lmaoooooo
i also think he’d be super good about nonverbal cues too tho !!! like u could never get away with forcing yourself to stay in a social setting just for him. bc the second he sees you starting to chew at your nails ?? shaking your leg beneath the table??? pls mans is already 3/4th of the way thru planning an exit strategy.
omg ty ty for the kind words, ur so sweet!!!! i’d love to say my writing is indicative of like, crazy skill haha but no rlly its just bc bakugou lives in my head full time. ive got full on brain rot for him ;)))
hope u enjoyed @lychichi :))) ty for the ask, lovely !!!!!
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cgogs · 2 years
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So I’m the anon who sent the first oxeye ask last night and after having a full day to come to terms with the ending, I was absolutely right that I would never recover from this (/hj). I truly don’t know how I’d survive an epilogue because there’s no salvaging their relationship. That said, please bring on the pain if/when you’re able!!
Also, just a couple scattered thoughts:
- I’m absolutely floored how well you nail the “fundamentally loving but too individually fucked up to be sustainable” relationship dynamic. You did a fantastic job of keeping the intended ending ambiguous enough to make me hopeful through the whole story, while still foreshadowing the eventual fracturing of their relationship. The chemistry in the dialogue and the careful way they dealt with their issues together really lulled me into this false sense of progress. Since they seemed to get better at conflict resolution over time, I was really rooting for them to constructively handle the hidden comm together instead of falling apart around it. They were such a likeable, realistic couple who felt genuinely in love–the sense of grief at watching them fall apart is still palpable haha. And god, Dream blocking George on his comm at the end was fucking brutal. I want so badly to know what happens between them next, but I know it can’t possibly be good after that.
- The effort you put into making the world come alive was phenomenal. It’s clear that you put a lot of thought into the using the game mechanics and SMP characters as a foundation to build the world on instead of a limit to world building. Aside from just being fascinating to read about, it made for some really unique storytelling. For example, creating a setting with populations outside the SMP characters gave you a way to drive Dream’s paranoia indirectly (ie. The conflict came from the lingering threat never knowing who/where was safe instead of from having to specifically fight off Sam, Sapnap, Q, etc), which contributed to interpersonal misalignment between Dream and George around survival strategies/priorities. There are other examples, but that one really jumped out at me. I absolutely loved it, and there’s a specific kind of sadness around not getting to explore more of their world that comes with the end of the story.
Thank you for your hard work on this piece-it’s one of the most gripping new stories I’ve read in ages, and made me feel Some Kinda Way! I’m looking forward to more from you :D
MOUTH AGAPE ? OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THANK YUUIOU THANK YOU EAHATAATATAT 😭😭😤😭😭😤☝️😓🤒😇😓🥰😩😩🥰
'The chemistry in their dialogue' -- i am so glad that I was able to make their dialogue not only realistic but also enjoyable, theres so much thought put into the way they move and touch each other, but they're not one for poetics. I wanted to get across something very human while feeling larger than life
'The lingering threat came from never knowing who/where was safe' -- I knew that it would feel cheap if I kept the home base characters in the plot itself, I also wanted several degrees of separation between George and the fine details of what happened to Dream. George never finds out who tortured him, why, or the extent of what happened in general.
AUTHOR COMMENTARY:
I feel like if dream had ever asked about the comm, ever put some real thought to the situation instead of just trying to ignore it and keep himself in the present as much he could, they would have had a constructive conversation about the comm instead of the shitshow that happened. Hell, if it had been during the day and george had been awake they probably would have had a better situation go down than what happened. It was extremely situational and that's the worst part to me personally. Dream still would have left, I dont think theres a way that reveal happens where he doesnt, but it would have hurt less. And maybe George would have tagged along, I dont know for sure
"Theres no salvaging their relationship" THERE IS! i PROMISE! They cant go back to how it was before, they both need to realize that living in the past/trying to restore it will only ever make things worse for themselves. But they can heal and carve a better life for themselves, they can salvage this, it's not hopeless. But the odds are just so stacked against them, admittedly. But they cant be without each other- however you want to believe that manifests is up to you. "After me, the flood" and all that
I'm so glad you liked my fic in depth kinds of asks like this blow my mind I smiled so hard when I saw this thank you thank you thank you 😭
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reynie-muldoons · 3 years
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'Depends on the Wagon' liveblog!
I saw someone do timestamps in their liveblog and it was absolutely lovely, so I think I'll try that too
1:55 why does Curtain sound like an mlm ceo LMAO
2:07 WOW ASSHOLE 😂😂 waving off your own teacher when he was complimenting you is not the vibe
2:17 so Dr. Curtian is only available through chain emails. Got it.
2:27 he seems like the kind of asshole to say that people on welfare are lazy and exploitave but then like, not pay his taxes
2:42 I DON'T LIKE HOW HE SAID THAT, THAT WAS CREEPY
2:47 oooooh Constance, always asking the right questions
3:05 Kate, why are you yelling, it's literally past curfew 😂
3:35 oh hai Jackson.. gtfo
4:22 oh yeah, the best way out is through the hallway that Jackson just entered. Good plane, babe.
4:25 soooo Kate Depending On Friends arc :)
4:59 AYYY HI RHONDA!!
5:13 why do I kinda fucking love then all deciphering the Morse code together
5:20 so the kids use the gemini riddle? Not the adults???
5:36 his face when he figures it out 😭😭😭
5:46 Nathaniel? Guess that's Dr. Curtain's name now. Less ridiculous than Ledroptha, but you dont get the badass Let Drop the Curtain reference
6:53 okay so no one knew he had a brother? But he did???
7:21 his faaaace 🥺
7:29 AWWW HE COULDNT BRING HIMSELF TO SHARE 😭😭😭 okay I'm kinda on board with the change if they can make it work in the long-haul
7:42 hi Milligan, good timing 😂
7:56 "not the time.........I'll take a dozen" Number Two my LOVE
8:23 interesting. I dont think Mr. Benedict was adopted in the books? He certainly didn't let Violet's family, the Hopefields, because he knew their financial troubles would be even worse. So who?
8:54 ohhhh dear, stages of grief at work. Maybe don't do that
9:05 I talked about this in the MBS discord server, but I think the show is really nailing Mr. Benedict's feelings. He's always been an emotional person, but he has to be so careful. Bottling up your feelings only leads to bigger feelings later. It makes so much sense for Mr. Benedict to be a whirlpool of strong, repressed emotions.
9:11 MILLIGAN'S FACE JAHAHS
9:34 RHONDA'S FACE HAGSKDGDJ
9:40 Mr. Benedict, sweetheart 🥺❤
10:01 "brothers stick together" why does it sound like he's talking about Reynie here 😭😭😭😭
10:12 that is a good ass point, Mr. Benedict already lied to them once
10:21 it makes sense for Sticky to be the one questioning the most because of his anxiety, but damn
10:46 AWWWWWW
10:56 KATE MAKING A BED FORT KATE MAKING A BED FORT KATE MAKING A BED FORT
11:00 I dont like how aggressive Kate is but it makes sense considering she's been in the circus for years, taking care of herself for far longer than she hasn't. She's not good at depending on people, and she's not good with difficult people.
11:10 Yeahh, Constance gets it!
11:40 Yeahhh, Constance gets it
12:55 that teacher seemed pretty nice last episode, nice to see that they're not what they seem just the same as Dr. Curtain lol
13:28 CONSTANCE I LOVE YOU 😂😂
14:00 "check again" okay so Krista from the tests and Martina give off the same vibe.. perfect 😂
14:16 "yeah......hang in there :D"
15:05 all of the apologies to the general class.. he's such an anxious sweetheart. He's really reading as autistic to me.
My sister just called me 😑 it's like 8 am, I answered her like "did you ever consider that you might be waking me up?" She did not consider that 😂
15:22 Martina's face just growing more and more annoyed and disgruntled HAHA
15:29 that was CORRECT?? WHAAAA
15:51 throwback to when I compared Dr. Curtain to an mlm ceo.. definitely like a cult
16:44 ohhhh Martina
17:30 CONSTANCE HEARING VOICES HELLOOOOO
18:22 ayyyyyy helper man
18:40 he seems too cheery to be a helper .-. The helpers all being super sad made [redacted]'s story make a whole lot more sense
19:35 aaaand now we get to it. You know, it really does seem a lot more cultish on screen than in the book
19:53 WAIT CONSTANCE GOOD JOB PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER 😂😂😂😂
19:53 that cut to Milligan making that exact face was INCREDIBLE
20:05 was he tryna leave? Yeah, good fuckin luck bucko
20:10 "critical papers at home" my ass, they packed everything up
20:24 the stages of grief back at it. 🥺
20:38 their relationship >>>>
21:00 "located in the..?" *description of envelope* "located in the....?" *more description* "located in the????" 😂😂😂😂
21:34 ohhhhh Thursday must be the student ranking day
21:56 Martina seems like the kind to throw out "pick a god and pray" as a crit quote 😂
22:07 I don't see any of the Society'a names on the list. Maybe they havent been there long enough
22:17 OH SHIT JK THERE THEY ARE
22:25 ohh Kate and Constance
22:55 the combination of the ferry horn and the bell makes it weirdly grim
23:55 them bringing Kate up and reminding her that she's needed 😌✨
24:29 hi Milligan bb ilyyyy
24:35 real good lookout guys, y'all are so well hidden
24:52 AYY HE'S DOING IT KATE STYLE
26:31 "visionary" is a word for it
26:31 I really kinda love that Number Two and Rhonda are going to such depths to try and help Mr. Benedict figure this out for sure
26:56 Mr. Benedict fully walking away while they talk about his brothers accomplishments 😂 I'm laughing, but poor guy
27:08 his FACE 🥺
27:28 HERE'S THAT TANTRUM FROM THE TRAILER
27:28 take your guesses how many times will he fall asleep
27:50 "he just has to work through some things" you dont fuckin say
27:55 you mean to tell me he had a full blown meltdown and they didn't show him falling asleep once??
28:35 like father like daughter 😌✨
29:10 ayyyy secret desk compartment
29:19 honestly I'm surprised there were actually papers he needed and it wasnt an excuse to go confront Dr. Curtain
29:32 oh shit, how'd they manage to get that far inside? No one was there to guard it, but the maze itself is a security measure
29:42 KATE STYLE STRIKES AGAIN
29:47 ooooh I like Dr. Curtain's office
30:01 WAS THAT SQ AND DID HE JUST CALL DR. CURTAIN HIS DAD
30:41 birds have careers. Got it 😂
30:50 JOURNAAAL
31:02 the fox?? Reynard the fox???
31:27 ohhh here we go, Dr. Curtain sees himself in Reynie only to resent it later
31:37 Mr. Benedict called Reynie a leader once too.. the parallels have ✨begun✨
32:12 is this the "keep your enemies close" conversation??
32:15 I'm honestly surprised he called him Sticky and not George
32:42 IT IS SQ IT IS SQ IT IS SQ
32:59 sooo that starts by not letting his caution down with you
33:11 Dr. Curtain congratulating himself mid-conversation on saying something deep is so in character
33:20 "I was betrayed by someone very close to me" so that was Mr. Benedict. Who the fuck else would it be
33:23 WHAT DID I SAAAAY
33:31 oh noooo Reynie starts doubting Mr. Benedict here? Is that the move?
33:43 that transition was so pretty stoppp
33:53 again how hasn't he fallen asleep
34:55 ayyyy journal snooping
35:05 Constance, my love, you are cut throat
35:11 Milligan is in the DRYWALL? ohh buddy be careful
35:21 omfg are they talking about water polo 😂 I love that that's the sport of choice
35:51 ayyyy they put the Milligan dots together too. Shame the guy's not with them rn
36:36 so Mr. Benedict brings up cheating first? I really like how we get to see the adults riddling out what to send back, we didn't get that at all in the books
37:46 I LOVE THAT THEY KEPT "don't get caught"
38:51 Kate riddling out the island schematics engineer style is so like her
39:07 they're just walking out the door?? Huh???
39:29 babe... turn off your flashlight
39:33 AND THAT'S WHY
39:58 is that the precursor to chuckroot?
40:38 the papers were from his orphanage 🥺🥺🥺
41:14 why does that break my heart
41:19 Dr. Curtain and SQ doing shit together it just.. so heartwarming
42:00 HAHA
42:16 okay, so show!Curtain is a kissass 😂
42:35 wait wait wait so Dr. Curtain is actively trying to contain his brother? That would explain why the Recruiters were looking for him and weirdly not the kids
43:25 "power wants to be free" sounds more like a personal mantra than a conversation between engineers
43:41 YES A LETTER TO MISS PERUMAL
44:02 more voices. Poor Connie girl 🥺
44:36 he loves her so much 😭😭😭
44:45 SHE TRIED TO SEND HIM A CARE PACKAGE
45:13 WORRIED MOM TIMEEE
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ryuichirou · 4 years
Note
Man I keep getting a shit-ton of Attack on Titan: Junior High stuff in my Youtube suggestions and I dont know why. What do you think of Junior High? I understand we now have a canon High School AU which is far more accurate, considering Junior High first came out around the very early stages of Attack on Titan and a lot of characters weren’t too flushed out yet. (...)
Like I know they probably just wanted something to hold over the fans during the huge gap between Season 1 and 2, it’s just funny how they made everyone so OOC. But I can appreciate some of the parts that actually featured characters that hadn’t been introduced yet like Frieda.
Overall I find it just so, awkward, ya know? Like it really drives home how weird AoT’s first few anime years were. From the merch that always had characters smiling to Erewan (your art of him really sold me though-).
But yeah! Thoughts on Junior High?
-----------------------------------------------------
Anon!! I’m very sorry, I’m a moron who messed up and got your ask deleted… I’m posting this reply last, hoping that you’ll still see it 😣 Sorry for being such an idiot.
You absolutely hit the nail on the head, I agree with every single world you’re saying. Like, with almost nothing to add to that, you’ve just said our exact thoughts about it.
It’s cool that they gave the fandom this little thing to munch on while they were on that long hiatus between S1 and S2 (this and a bunch of random OVAs…). And I really appreciate that they showed Frieda before her proper anime debut, that they a lot of references to manga (i.e. things that are yet to happen in the anime) without spoiling much… well, that Frieda scene kind of can be counted as a spoiler of sorts lol
I think it’s fun for people to revisit it after watching S2 and S3 and finally get all the jokes and references they missed. And it looks fine too, I love WIT’s SnK style (the original Junior High manga looks different…).
BUT. BUT BUT BUT THEY’RE SOOOOO OOC…… ESPECIALLY EREN WITH HIS FAKE-ASS EREWAN SMILE LIKE WHAT- they have a lot of jokes that are based on canon scenes and stuff, so the amount of OOC really boggles me. How can it be so knowledgeable about the original material and yet miss the point so badly? Awkward is a good way to put it. My recommended section is filled with these videos too, and I can never watch them…
The OOC is the reason why we never revisited it after watching it back in ~2016. I appreciate it for what it is, I love the opening song (it’s hilarious), but it’s very hard for us to enjoy the show that has smiling genki ooc Eren as the main character and a huge cast of ooc folks… it’s like all of them only have one (1) personality trait to them, and it’s always the most obvious thing… that is somehow still off lol
Even EreAnnie bait (that is quite prominent in this anime) doesn’t make the situation better for us, unfortunately. It’s just not the same EreAnnie that we like.
I like the  Spoof!On Titan strips better….
I’m glad you like our drawings of Erewan though haha. He’s so cursed that we actually genuinely enjoy him…
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hongism · 3 years
Text
hi caly boo its ur 🌊 anon! i finally finished the most brilliant darkness and oh my lawd i’m in spain without the s. to put it shortly: U DID NOT DISAPPOINT BESTIE, and it seems unreal that u and ur mind and this fic even exists bc every moment is just polished to perfection, while simultaneously every character is polished to a sort of imperfect perfection(?). i have so many questions and things to say idek where to start, and tho im not good with words and even worse at deciphering hidden meanings, here are just some of my thoughts that i remember from the story.
hello my dear!!! eee im gonna answer separately since i think i’ll be very long-winded as usual but first of all thank you so much :(( this fic is actually very full of subliminal messages and hidden nuances that are weaved throughout which i think could be quite confusing so i apologize for that! if i had managed my time better, i would have adjusted when i started the fic to account for managing those aspects of the fic but alas i’m terrible at time management and i suck so. anyways.
first of all, ngl halfway into the story i lowkey forgot this was a wooyoung fic bc SANNN and also bc wooyoung appeared like 3 times lol. even after it finishing all that, i still had my doubts as to why this is a wooyoung fic, or more like why is san this significant in a wooyoung fic. im still a bit slow on these pls forgive me and im just curious why u made it like that.
i think yeah the most interesting thing about this fic is the emphasis on san over wooyoung. and when looking over it yeah i could have switched san and wooyoung’s characters and called it a day, but wooyoung really in my mind acts as the integral turning point for decisions made in the story. 
the goal with the fic wasn’t really to be hyperfocused on the pairing itself, but rather the emotions and thought processes of each character (aside from wooyoung). wooyoung was kept intentionally mysterious and a bit set apart from the rest of the fic because his role in story was moreso an abstract of hestia, the goddess of the hearth and home. wooyoung’s character appeared in times where y/n was struggling with the thought of home or adjusting to the new changes in her life! wooyoung’s pairing itself was actually intended to be solely platonic at first, but as the story went on i thought having mc develop feelings for him added another turning point in the fic!
moving on, the second biggest question i had is the whole hestia!wooyoung and cafe aurora situation. i did a bit of reading on hestia and only found out that she was the goddess of hearth, which might explain the fireplace and the kind of homey feeling to the cafe. and ‘cafe aurora not really existing to most’ part, which was already hinted at wooyoung randomly disappearing, mc never seeing the cafe before or wooyoung only bringing people he wants into it. i get that him inviting mc must suggest her significance to him, but why was he so adamant about his friends not mentioning him or the cafe to mc before that? wooyoung is quite a mysterious character i think, and given that this fic is supposed to be about him, it’s a bit odd that there’s still so many things left unknown, but its kinda cool that way nonetheless and im guessing u would also like to explain that further outside of the story too.
i think my biggest regret about this fic is the fucking summary.... i wrote that summary well before i even started writing the fic thinking it would go in that direction but it didn’t. and since this fic was for a collab, i left the summary as is because i genuinely cannot for the life of me figure out a better one. but i’m trying to figure out a better one. but i really fucking hate the current summary because it’s not at all what the fic is truly about and i hate it.
however, i don’t hate the fic itself, and the reason why i don’t is because i got to play with both my writing style and how i displayed the story. for this collab we were asked to pick a greek god and one of the seven deadly sins, and i selected hestia and sloth. and initially i had intended to have sloth be represented by the reader’s depression, and wooyoung be a more ‘real’ depiction of hestia. i shifted gears very early on in the fic but what it became is moreso abstract realizations in the characters.
san’s character is meant to be this idea of sloth, and it’s mentioned several times that he doesn’t want to move forward, he wants to go slow, he wants to stop moving so fast through life, and those things point to him being a depiction of sloth
wooyoung’s was harder to encapsulate in a more abstract way but you hit the nail on the head really with the homey feeling of the cafe. beyond that, mc talks about just naturally feeling at ease and comfortable with how things are with wooyoung and being around him, and he takes up this role of being the likeable, warm, cozy, comforting character. it all comes to a head in the last scene where he brings both y/n and san into the cafe.
and again wooyoung’s character is meant to be most mysterious and abstract, but if i had had more time to fully flesh out the fic, i think i would have liked to touch more on him. at the same time however i left it more open-ended and open to interpretation. the significance in him inviting mc in and not being mentioned by the others sooner is twofold. one; the others never really had any reason whatsoever to mention wooyoung. he was a friend outside the circle who never joined in with them when mc was around. i personally in my own friendships don’t mention friends outside the circle by name or anything, just kinda vaguely talking about them unless im certain the people know who this person is. the concept of wooyoung having to invite mc in was more nuanced and vague as well, intentionally so, but that was moreso meant to represent this idea of ‘you can’t make a home somewhere where you aren’t invited’ so y/n couldn’t fully make a home of the place she was in without being invited in and welcomed in, but again that’s something i wish i had more time to fully flesh out.
the hongjoong speech about love (and also the interaction with seonghwa after that) deserves a standing ovation of its own 👏 unfortunately, or not, im not actually going through the emotional turmoil regarding love the same way as hj or mc to be able to fully relate to his words, but the whole ‘if you dont love what u see in the mirror then u dont love it’ mentality really hit me hard, and i’d like to hang onto that when i make decisions in the future haha thank you wise caly! seonghwa and hongjoong’s story is also beautiful, and just like mc said, the more i look at it the more it hurts :’)
the hongjoong speech about love was meant to be something very jaded and specific to his worldview. it actually isn’t wholly how i view love personally, but it was a perfect description to how both he and y/n perceived the love in their own lives. mostly thanks to their own emotional turmoils. the mentality of the mirror quote is something that i think i also struggle with, which is why i included it. it’s hard to do, but even in friendships, i think it’s necessarily to stop and look at the person you were before this relationship and then the person during this relationship. if you don’t love the one you are now, then maybe it’s a sign to reflect and see the bigger picture, so that was a lil reminder to myself and i’m glad it touched you as well!!!
“do you love him, or do you love the idea of being in love with him?” - haha i see what u did there (or maybe i didnt please dont laugh at me if i didnt). its still so good everytime i see it bc i keep finding myself loving just the idea of things time and time again even when this makes total sense to me oof :/
heh yeah again with the more abstract concepts this one was more direct and ‘cliche’ but i fully wanted that cliche in the fic because i thought it suited the situation where mc was constantly struggling with a version of san that she thought she loved vs the version of san she got every time they were together
despite how enlightened she seems to be, mc still made the same choices, and i wanna smack her for it and pat her back at the same time. and maybe also bc of the fact that she feels so differently for the two men that i feel like no ending could really justify her decision, so ending in the vague is probably the best. your ending might kind of allude to someone more than the other already, and tho i still don’t think he’s the best one for her based on just my pov on love, i kinda agree with you. but again, this raises the question of, why a wooyoung fic and not a san fic?
and yeah the whole knife in the chest at the end of it all is that she was still too scared to face the music so to speak. but really i would say she made the same choices up until the conversation on the balcony with san. and you’re absolutely right, the reason i chose the ending the way i did was because either way, there’s no justification. and actually although it might seems like i was alluding to someone specific, san being in the cafe at the very end was moreso to represent that as much as they fought, he still very much loved her and wanted to be loved by her. it was kinda an open casket ending there were no nails in the coffin, the choice between wooyoung and san still stands and an argument could be made for either of them! i think this is a fic that i could see myself revisiting one day with two endings - one for san, and one for wooyoung.
something i didn’t mention earlier about wooyoung’s character being left intentionally mysterious was that he was representing a new and budding love. the honeymoon phase where you’re falling for someone you don’t even really know. you are the reader aren’t meant to really know who wooyoung is because of that beyond what you read about him, so his past and such was left out intentionally to represent that idea of ‘hey wow im in love with a stranger!’ whereas san was this gritty love that’s bad for you. and there are pros and cons to each just as with anything!!
so,,,, why a wooyoung fic and not a san fic? well i picked wooyoung for my collab so he was one of the main focuses of the fic regardless of which direction i took with it. as for why wooyoung wasn’t more forward, i already answered that but !!! i view it as both a wooyoung fic and a san fic. both are highlighted characters with main pairing roles!
i literally just woke up to write this and am going back to sleep ahaha so i apologize if this makes no sense. i somehow felt like i’ve read so much yet so little at the same time, maybe bc there are still so many things i havent fully made sense of, and that’s where i hope you come in and enlighten me. i still stand by my word that this fic deserves so much more recognition despite the lack of explicit smut bc of how much more you’ve explored through character building. love you caly and thank u for working so hard <3 — 🌊
no worries my beloved i hope you go back to sleep and get lots and lots of rest!! and i hope my response helps enlighten the not so clear things as well dgjdklfg but really thank you so much. it was a long fic and hard to get through at times, but as a whole, i’m proud of it and what i created, so thank you for recognizing my efforts and appreciating them 🥺
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damejanai · 4 years
Text
Dameraji
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2020.09.16
S:Probably, when this episode goes on air, it won't be the case anymore but
K: Uh huh
S: But recently, I've had quite many spiritual experiences recently
K: Oh i was scared right there
S: ?
K: I thought you were quitting or something
S: No no no no, why would i do something like that?
K: That scared me, thought you were going to say, 'when this goes on air, i won't be here anymore'
S: Hhahahaha that blew up
K: I was so shocked
S: That's funny, but you know, I often say I see feathers, right? I still see them now and then, but recently, I'm not kidding, crickets keep coming to me. When i'm watching TV at night... well I'm not watching TV but
K: What are you talking about?
S: You know like, my TV is like...that...
K: You are just watching the screen
S: Ah yesyes, that's scary! It's like I'm a psychopath or something!
K: So Soma san you were just watching screen when..
S: When I watch movies at night, there would be the tapping sound on my window, there would be nothing, and after a while i would hear it again.
K: Uh huh
S: And when i open the window, the crickets would be like, 'Let me in!'
K: That's so dramatic
S: I think there is a huge tree near my window, and so there would be tons of them there growing.
K: Ahhh, they would fall nicely at a 45 degree angle
S: And it's easy for them to come in but not go out. I realised that recently, they are not really coming anymore. I was wondering why, and it has been hot recently, so I've not been going into the veranda much. When I went out, I realised that the tree, wasnt there
K: Ehhhhh!??
S: It was totally trimmed, I guess there were tons of complaints coming from other residents about crickets coming into their houses too
K: Would they trim it because of complaints?!
S: It has a very clean haircut now.
K: I don't know if I should probe into it this much but is that tree within the estate?
S: Yes yes , it is, so it comes under their management. And actually I dont miss them at all and, i feel lucky in fact
K: And also it's nothing spiritual at all, just that the bugs are gone
S: Ahahahahaa
----
~About year end times and visiting their parents'~
S: It's hard for me to move around, like my hometown is in Yamanashi
K: Actually my parents home was in tokyo but they have moved to kanagawa actually, so they're like telling me, not to come back
S: Ahahahaa
K: And they got a cat, when I'm allergic to cats. And also since they're in Kanagawa, they might have some resistance to come to Tokyo. So, I can't go back!
S: Are you in contact with them?
K: Ahhh well yes
S: So that was when they told you that, they were getting a cat and stuff, and therefore
K: Telling me not to come back
S: I don't think that's what they think wwww
It's a tough time huh
K: Yes it's a tough family situation
S: Ahahahaaa what's that
K: Why are they going further away though...
S: I actually talked on the phone for 2 hours with my parents, after a long time, they seemed really happy i think. After that I think i heard from my sister that my parents told her about how i called them
K: Ahh
S: I'm usually the kind that doesnt contact people. So i guess this situation sort of makes us try to keep in contact. So not all's bad
K: I see, when i go back home, I'm like doing a radio show alone for 2 hours
S: Ahahahaaha
K: When i go home, I talk non stop, for like 1 hour and we laugh and laugh and then I'll be, 'Okay, I'm off'
S: Ahahahaa you're providing them one slot of entertainment
K: I'd be like, 'wasn't it fun?' , 'bye bye'
S: Does your style of talking take after any of your family members?
K: Nope
S: Ah
K: Totally no one. I'm the only one who talks this much
S: Ah, so they're rather quiet, all of them
K: My dad would talk when he's excited but is usually the listener. I don't really understand what my mum says at all
S: wwwww what does that mean?
K: Maybe we're similar?
S: Ahahahhaa
K: My younger sister doesn't ever come out of her room
S: Stop that
K: My elder brother keeps bullying others
S: wwwwww ok but
K: Maybe it's a hybrid, I'm all of those things at times
S: Well but you're nice on the inside
K: Yes I am! So is my family! Hahahaha
S: Haahahha
~~
Q. There are not many events nowadays but it seems like there are many recordings and filmings these days?
K: No?
S: wwwww well in general for voice actors, probably all the recordings that were halted have resumed  maybe
K: By recording, what kind of recording do you mean?
S: wwwww what do you mean by what kind?
K: Well there's after recording
S: Ah ah ah, Ok then count it in
K: Ah, okat then Yes, it has increased
S: Ahahahaa
K: Yes, it's great. I don't really have recording for like songs
S: I think ive gotten more reading jobs nowadays, and I've always said i liked reading, but i had one where i had to read out everything myself, it was, really difficult
K: I guess you have to create and ups and downs right, that's tough right
S: And i think, it's not too good if you create too many ups and downs
K: Ahhh, it's difficult to decide when to hold back
S: Yesyesyes. And usually i would read books for leisure and books for work differently.
K: I see
S: And recently I end up thinking a lot when reading, like how should I make it more interesting
K: Ahhh that doesn't sound fun
S: Totally
K: When I have fun doing YouTube, versus when I use some editing methods because I feel it's good for my videos
S: And it goes on for hours, well it happens for radio as well, like 3-4 hours, to be immersed in one story for rhat long, we don't have it that much
K: Uh huh
S: Like... i want to improve my concentrating ability
K: Ahhh that...
S: Well....Kaito kun are there any types of jobs that you have more now
K: Not really... anything... it has been the same
S: So it has really gotten back to normal
K: Yes. I think I've had more free talk sort of gigs now
S: wwwwww
K: So, what do they see me as?
S: Well but you know you are able to do freetalk for 2 hours at your parent's house
K: No no no but well the freetalk at do at my parent's house goes like, 'this and this happened at work, haha, my partner for radio is this sort of person, he's really irritating
S: Wait wait, stop stop, can i rewind?
K: Ok ok ok, so like what i say at my parent's house goes like, 'my partner for radio is really irritating' something like that
S: wwwwwww
K: Hahahaha, just a little
S: You simplified it huh, from just now
K: I don't even remember what i said
S: But Kaito kun is someone who can just talk about something interesting when the time needs to be dragged a little
K: Really?
S: Isn't that so?
K: Freetalk is like... if there's nothing interesting that happened in your daily life, there's nothing to talk about so
S: Yes, that's true
K: So, i only say what comes to mind at that point
S: Yeah yeah
K: So, sometimes i read comments like, 'Kaito kun said this and this some time ago but now he's saying this and this'
S: Uh huh
K: But what i say is different at different times. So, recently I felt the need to accumulate things to talk about
S: Yes, that's also what you thought of due to this increase in free talk related gigs
K: Yes yes
S: And so you're actually
K: I wanted to note down stuff so, use my secret twitter account that I use for ego searching
S: Wait wait, why, why? Just use a notebook or something
K: Well but, I feel like tweeting them
S: Ahahahhaaa I don't get it! Your ego searching account
K: It has 0 followers, is unlocked, and has no interaction with anyone
S: I see I see
K: And I would tweet photos of my animal crossing game for my own keepsake
S: Ahahahaha huh? That's kinda scary
K: So I'm using it in place of a notebook now. My recent note was 'Human nails degenerate too fast, don't they?' They break all the time and it's painful and bloody', and I don't even remember what that was about
S: Oh my god
K: Scary right?
S: Totally scary, Posting animal crossing photos and leading to this is also scary. What's that about human nails?!
K: The fact that it's scary... already becomes a topic
S: I see I see, you noting down things and don't remember anything about it
K: And the fact that the first tweet was something really scary
S: Ahahahhaahaa
K: Hahahaa
S: But it's an account you would like to keep lowkey
K: If it gets circulated due to a bug or something that would be real bad
S: Please be careful!
~ Dame raji photo studio ~
Topic: Please express your favourite 4 word idiom with your body as much as you can 
[DOWNLOAD]
Please download from this link:
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Yp5Xdwi4_z03jPajH9BEbL7R02brXk8P?usp=sharing
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Text
Are you currently wearing anything red?
my red nail polish
Have you had a deep conversation with anyone today?
nope
What would you say is the most disgusting thing you’ve ever tasted?
not a fan of christmas pudding but would I say its the most disgusting thing ever? hmmm probs not maybe I need to try more foods and get back to you
What was the last food you got a random craving for?
toast, but that is a daily occurrence
Has anyone/anything made you angry recently?
yes.... I arranged to stay with my friend for a weekend to which she announces that she has also arranged for another one of her friends to stay. So instead of telling her friend that she’s busy, this friend is gonna crash and it made me angry because I wanted to spend the weekend with her, I don’t mind meeting her friends but now they’re gonna be there 24/7. I made my peace with it now
Who did you last go to the cinema with?
probs the same friend mentioned above haha
What was the last song that got stuck in your head?
Little Big Town - Better Man
When was the last time you listened to it?
the other day
Who was the last person to say something thought-provoking?
my friend questioned our group if we think we’re fat phobic so we had an open discussion about it and it got us thinking
On your Facebook friends list, who was the last person to have their b-day?
who knows
How old were they?
probs 22 or 23
What did you/are you having for dinner tonight?
I had steak, yum
Is your best friend in a relationship?
I have a few close friends, some are dating and some aren’t, tis a mixture
How old were you 5 years ago?
17
What is something you enjoy doing, but aren’t good at?
dancing, hehe
Who was the last person you talked to, whose name started with ‘C’?
probs Cara :)
What colour are that person’s eyes?
brown
Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating.
CUCUMBER FOREVER
What is your favourite Studio Ghibli film?
hmm haven’t seen many Studio Ghibli films but Howl’s Moving Castle was a rollercoaster, note to self: watch more Studio Ghibli creations
Do you have a favourite hair accessory? What does it look like?
yes and no, I love using sunglasses or normal glasses to push my hair back so its both a hair accessory and isn’t
What’s your favourite type of insect?
one that leaves me alone
What’s your LEAST favourite type of insect?
slugs
Who was the last person you Facebook messaged?
Laura!
What’s his/her favourite food?
I do not know haha
Did you have a good day yesterday? What did you do?
hmmm it was a stressful day, my dad and brother were driving up to join us for my grandad’s 90th over the weekend but they broke down on the M1 and took the car back to home in a lorry. mum was stressed and I was sad that we wouldn’t have use of our car to travel back in 
When was the last time you went to a fancy dress party?
have I ever? maybe when I was like 10
Who/what did you dress as?
witch?
What genre was the last film you watched? Did you like it?
FANTASY - I re watched Narnia Prince Caspian and oh wow 
Have you made a sandwich today? What did you put on it?
nope I had a salad
Do you remember the last time you overheard part of a random conversation?
nope, I do like to eavesdrop but can never remember what I hear
Did it make you feel awkward?
nah, I doubt it
What were you doing at 10 o'clock this morning?
showering
How many vowels are there in your first name?
3
What was the last song you listened to? Does it mean anything to you?
Taylor Swift - right where you left me. It reminds me of my last relationship and it’s literally just ONE moment it reminds me of because the song is about the narrator being left at the restaurant and I can just vividly see the moment when my partner and I went for korean bbq. He didn’t leave me at the restaurant and I don’t know why the song would remind me of that moment besides it being at a restaurant. Crazy how taylor works her magic
What flavour was the last cupcake you ate?
tomorrow evening I’ll be able to tell you because we have cupcakes for my Grandad’s 90th :)
When was the last time you complimented a stranger?
in a pandemic? pfffttt hardly spoken to anyone let alone a stranger
What’s your favourite milkshake flavour?
nutella and oreo
Have you had an interesting or amusing dream recently?
nope they’re all stressful and weird
Do you know how old your favourite actor is?
27
Is there anything worrying you right now?
yes
If so, have you talked to anyone about it?
I want to but I just can’t bring myself to
Is there anything you desperately want, that you can’t have?
bread
When will you next see your best friend?
a couple weeks time but we keep in touch every day
Apart from sleeping, what do you plan to do tonight?
read
What’s the age difference between your parents?
5 years
You can only have one flavour of ice-cream for the rest of your life. Which do you choose?
chocolate always
Are there any foods you’ve been craving, or eating a lot of, just recently?
I always crave yoghurt so situation normal there
When was the last time you wanted to do something, but didn’t do it?
I wanted to drive my dad and brother back from the station
Why did you choose not to do it?
I knew it would cause a fight with my mum so I let it go
When was the last time you ate an apple?
within the last week for sure
What’s the nicest thing your best friend has ever said to you?
it’s not something they say once it’s more that they keep coming back to say more nice things :)
Have you ever experienced a hangover?
yep
What was the last food or drink that you tried for the first time?
blood orange gin
Did you like it?
yes
What do your friends think of the person you’re currently interested in?
I’m not interested in anyone rn
Name one of your favourite foods, that starts with the letter ’S’
sausage!!!!
The last time you hung out with your sibling(s), what did you do?
waited for my parents in the car whilst our parents went food shopping
Who was the last blue-eyed person you spoke to?
padre
Is there a person you’d like to speak to right now?
I hope to get a response from Rena soon but I can wait
Why that person, specifically?
She has organised a party and I need more details haha
When you woke up this morning, what was on your mind?
It is spider season :/
At this moment, what are you most looking forward to?
CAKE (for my grandad’s 90th bday) and ofc seeing the extended family
Do you have any scented candles in your home? What scent(s)?
I do, sea salt, bergamot & another one from & other stories
Are you planning any special outings with family or friends?
YES my grandad’s bday dinner is tomorrow
Who were the last 3 males you talked to?
my padra, mon frere and Yao
Do you ever wear lipstick? What colour(s) do you prefer?
either nudes or deep reds, difficult to not look like a clown in the latter, that is always the fear
If you have a pet, when did you last pet him/her?
I don’t :(
Do you have a favourite Celine Dion song?
nope
Name one of your favourite foods, that starts with the letter ‘C’
chicken!
Does the person you love/like have a car? What colour is it?
I’m sure Timothee Chalamet does not sure what colour
Have you ever received a compliment on anything you’re wearing?
yes
Have you had any caffeinated beverages today?
nope
What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time?
blood orange gin 
Did you like it?
yes
Have you eaten any chocolate today? What kind?
so much
The last person you kissed - are they older or younger than you?
older
When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused?
mum wanted me to not have so much smoothie but I wanted the smoothie haha
What’s your favourite feature of the person you’re currently interested in?
nobody right now but I always notice a nice smile and kind eyes
How many people have you hugged today?
loads! twas my grandad’s 90th bday - we had the whole family come to celebrate
Do you have a favourite hair colour or eye colour on your preferred sex?
I don’t
Do you remember the first CD you ever bought?
it was probably taylor swift’s 1989 album. If it was the first CD I ever bought I dont know but I sure remember buying multiple copies of 1989 to get the polaroid collection
Is there anyone on your mind atm?
not in particular
The last song you listened to - does it remind you of anyone?
nope
Is your birth year an odd or even number?
odd
Have you eaten any of your favourite foods today?
CAKE!
What did you have for lunch yesterday?
fish finger salad!! I hope I’m never too old for fish fingers
Who was the last person you Facebook messaged?
Laura
How many different towns/cities have you lived in?
4
What are your parents’ middle names?
Steven & Anne
Are your eyes the same colour as your sibling’s?
nope
How many pets do you have? Would you like any more?
I don’t have any! we used to have bunnies and I would love some more again
Do you prefer still or sparkling drinks?
depends on the mood
Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm?
Little Big Town’s Better Man is on repeat rn
Did you have a strange or interesting dream last night?
nope
Which friend do you confide in most?
I kinda tell the world my problems hehe
Who was the first male you talked to today? What colour are his eyes?
either my dad or brother, dad has blue eyes, brother has brown
Are you wearing any accessories in your hair? Describe them.
nope
When was the last time you felt ill? What was wrong?
I caught this WEIRD bug that would just make me feel awful all of a sudden and then drained my energy. It was unlike anything I’ve ever felt it made me miss the normal cold
If given the chance, would you change anything that’s happened today?
the food came later than expected so I would change how much breakfast I had
Who was your first best friend? Do you still speak to that person?
nope
Do you like your middle name, or does it embarrass you?
It fits my name
Are you wearing anything that was given to you as a gift?
nope
Have you received any compliments about your appearance today?
yes! my auntie said I looked like a doll and how much I’ve grown since we last saw each other!
Have you ever written a song or poem for someone special?
nope
Have you ever had an argument with the last person you text messaged?
probably
What colour is your shampoo bottle?
pink
Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged?
she is wonderful but I am not attracted to her in that way haha
Do you have any ice-cream in your freezer? What flavour is it?
chocolate & raspberry 
Have you spoken to any of your neighbours today?
nope
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shijiujun · 5 years
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2020 Because of You: Episode 3
Overall feel of the episode: Mehhh didn’t really like the pacing although it was quite cute to see CP2 and CP3 interacting with each other, I mean, no depth but what is depth in this drama right, but we’ve got stalker YJC hanging around LX and gotta say the Yuan brothers are all quite quirky
YJC big bro: YJC confuses me a little bit because he’s kind of like I guess he’s interested in LX (altho hopefully not romantically now cuz there’s the POSSIBILITY OF LX BEING HIS BROTHER, we know that’s not the case but he doesn’t) and he’s... seeing him as some sort of like social experiment which is kind of hilarious, and in tmr’s episode we see YJC stepping on LX’s BUN like DONT TREAT FOOD LIKE THAT YOU BIJ and manhandling LX but i guess this is how YJC treats his brothers - He ignores the kidnapped one, then tries to fight the potential 4th one
YJD 2nd bro: OKAY THIS BOY IS AMAZING OK THE SHAPE OF HIS FACE IS AMAZING!!!! WILL IS AMAZING like he is so handsome?!!! Honestly when the cameraman does an updown shot on the stairs I’m like OOOOOF FACE AND JAW but okay not cool that he’s jelly and possessive but I guess he’s always been like this to Xiang Shi, and omg I didn’t think Yu Chen (who plays Xiang Shi) was handsome in the beginning but he’s quite cute in this ep too th way he apologises to YJD ALTHO BRO U GOT NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR YOU AREN’T A PRISONER IN THE HOUSE HAHA but okay i guess compromise
YJP 3rd bro: Wow, dumb and dumber. Dumb to the point of cute, I LOVE IT. Honestly, this boy BREAKS INTO SOMEONE ELSE’S HOUSE AND RUMMAGES THROUGH THE HOUSE AND STEALS THE PERSON’S FRUITS LIKE?!!! and he mothers Yue Rong too I’M LIKE BRO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST!!!!
The 4th son saga: DO WE MOVE ON?!!! NO WE DO NOT. YJP is still is disbelief that LX could be his brother, YJD straight up kidnaps him, YJD DOESN’T CARE ALL HE WANTS IS XIANG SHI’S ATTENTION and i gotta say that YJD has got his priorities right like who cares about another brother and another woman my dad is the king of been there done that in this aspect, not much YJC and LX interaction in this ep tho
What happens in Ep 3:
LX has begun talking to himself to cope, and he still remembers to be kind to the beggar crouching outside his house (okay in terms of best spots to beg at, this isn’t a good spot, you usually go to spots with greater foot traffic?) and gives him all of his change
And YJC WHO IS LURKING LIKE A CREEPER sees that and goes like ERROR 404 CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY LX WOULD GIVE HIM MONEY and then LX laments his lack of lunch money at his bike, and says to his mom ‘i’ll live well mom, i’ll go earn lots of money etc.’ (and well he does live p well and earn a lot of money i guess at the end of this - just marry a rich chaebol, check both boxes)
Then YJC GIVES THE GUY MONEY TOO BUT LIKE A LOT OF MONEY HAHAHAHAHA 
then we have CP3 being dumb and cute in the library as Yue Rong gathers like this info pack on LX
WE ALSO FIND OUT LX IS VERY GOOD AT STUDYING LIKE SUPER SMART
and Yue Rong has a habit of biting at his nails, so Jun Ping hits at his hand every time he does that altho in the first instance in the beginning of the episode, JP actually bites at YR’s fingers and says it’s tasty and im like IT ISN’TTTT BROOOOO
they break into LX’s house and Jun Ping makes himself at home and finds a pack of fruits and unceremoniously starts eating amen this boy i mean like SAME HERE but you’re so damn rich go get your own damn fruits!!
Yue Rong goes through LX mom’s diary and they find out she’s their dad’s childhood friend, and they spend like one-third of the episode rationalizing that Dad really didn’t know about LX and that LX really could be the 4th son and YR bites at his fingers again LMAO
And Jun Ping is like damn it so from Yuan No. 3 I’m now Yuan No. 4?!!! Yue Rong is like PRIORITIES?!!! 
On the CP2 side: We’ve got Xiang Shi fixing up the computer or something for Yue Rong’s sister, and they’re all cousins or something, and she wants to thank him by idk, flirting with him, and Xiang Shi is like you crazy woman?!!! Anw Xiang Shi tries to go home, but the sister sprays like perfume on him and says that she’s curious as to how Jun Dao will react when he smells perfume on Xiang Shi omg do you rich people NOT HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO
And anw Jun Dao is panicking and all because it’s so late and Xiang Shi isn’t home, and he called a few times but he didn’t pick up (AND I HAVE ONLY JUST REALIZED THAT THIS BEAUTIFUL HUGE ASS HOUSE HOUSES ONLY XIANG SHI AND JUN DAO but also where are all the servants you’d think there’ll be help to just kind of push the ‘we are rich’ image in our faces) - Jun Dao of course jumps immediately to ‘hey dont tell me he’s been kidnapped?!!’
XIang Shi turns up at home and they kind of get into an argument of where he’s been and JD does smell the perfume and he gets a bit jelly that XS went on a date, and when XS tries to go upstairs, JD grabs at him and pulls, and XS idk sprains his ankle or smth LMAOOOOO
and OMGGGGG JUN DAO IS SO CUTE SITTING OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM waiting for XS to finish showering, like wrapped like a burrito in a blanket, and anw when XS comes out he ices his ankle, and XS apologises cutely, saying that he should have told JD that he was coming home late, and JD is like, ‘it’s fine, we’re childhood friends so there’s no need to say all these’ but dude you kind of hurt him
and then we have YJC BIG BRO waiting for LX to turn up back in the parking lot AND OMG BIG BRO FINGER GUNS ARE SO LAST GENERATION!!! HAHAHAHA lmao this is hilarious like lee si kang is very handsome doing that but...
Next ep: We’ve got CP3 trying to do things but they’re dumb and dumber so i doubt they’ll succeed and anyway BIG BRO YJC is alr like stepping on LX’s bun and draggin him into his car amen
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sleepymouses · 5 years
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tagged by @littlepetbee, thank uuuu <3 i spent way too long thinking about htis lol,
Rules: pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions, tag a bunch o ppls to do it too (if y’all want to, supes no pressure or anything!)
Natsume yuujinchou  (a teenage orphan who sees spirits/monsters sets out to free the spirits who were bound in magical contract by his grandmother after he inherits a powerful book, aided primarily by a spirit who appears as an exasperated fat cat (who is just as fun as he sounds). Titular character is like my Fave boy in the whole world, he’s so kind and soft despite all the hardships he’s faced, the series has very gentle pacing/character development, and each episode is a carefully crafted lil story that have often moved me to tears, chuckles, or outright chinhands of fondness as u watch natsume slowly find a home in the world and amongst the humans &spirits around him. big focus on friendships, there’s like no romance with any of the main characters, lots of cool different creatures (most of whom arent all that scary once u get to know them), its just literally everything i could ever dream for in a show and it exists! <3)
Leverage (team of modern day robin hoods ruin rich peoples’ lives via  delightfully crafted spy cons to give back to the regular folks the rich people hurt. Extremely good, strong found family vibes, and v cathartic)
Brooklyn 99 (follows diverse cast of character who make up a NY precinct. Hilarious, immensely wholesome & groundbreaking, & probs the most lighthearted crime show besides like psych tbh)
Blackspot/Zone Blanche (spoopy french/belgium crime series set in a small village way out in the mountains surrounded by misty, mysterious and murdery woods. eerie and atmospheric, but also like one of my fave characters (everyone calls him teddy bear) keeps a pet guinea pig at work, so it’s not entirely grim and bleak)
Longmire (a modern western crime drama centering around the titular sheriff and others in their small town wyoming county, well written and lot of chracter development revealed alongside some really good case mysteries bc i love trying to figure out whodunits apparently based on a book series well adored by dads btw)
who is your favorite character in 2? (leverage) ahhh,,, this is hard... Eliot maybe? like Hardison is baby ofc, but i relate to elliot a ton (i think if i was on a team i would want to be the hitter tbh?) and love the subversion of so many action hero tropes that he is, also endlessly amused by how very put upon he is despite all his rad/random skills
who is your least favorite character in 1? (natsume yuujinchou) oh seiji matoba for sure, he can go eat a mouldy tree stump. absolutely evil nasty dude
what is your favorite episode of 4? (blackspot) the end of the road. great opening, didnt end up too devastating unlike a lot of the cases, Hermann was gr8, cool twist i hadnt super expected in the plot which was neat.
what is your favorite season of 5? (longmire) probs 1, walter reeally started to piss me off being Such A Man in later seasons, also me being extremely anxious about Henry and his life choices later, that creepy stalker storyline starting up with Someone and when Someone else in the main cast got died really suddenly and upsettingly later on as well, also when a weird relationship started between some of the characters that i really aint feeling so. before all that happened was nice (also sorry if this is super vague, im trying to avoid spoilers)
who is your favorite couple in 3? (B99) Besides Jake/Amy and Holt/Kevin (bc oviously theyre gr8) uh.. i know it was a long time ago and didnt last very long, but i thought rosa and marcus were really sweet? it brought another layer out to her character, even when they broke up that helped rosa starting to show emotional vulnerability and all, even tho it ended it was still just, idk, i liked them.
who is your favorite couple in 2? (leverage) Does trio count, cos Parker/Eliot/Harding 4 life yo
what is your favorite episode of 1? (natsume yujinchou) i have sooo many faves ahhh!!! i dont think i could pick just one on pain of death, every episode is acrefully cosntructed gem all on its own and i have too many that i love and adore to pick jsut one :((
what is your favorite episode of 5? (longmire) Dog soldier!! ive rewatched that one a ton, so so many good bits, really satisfying resolution of the case despite the shitty system that was revealed, and i rmr getting chills by the end the first time i saw it.
what is your favorite season of 2? (leverage) i guess season 1? just, idk, everything being set up and watching all these grumpies/less grumpies who have no plans to stay together start working together as a baby team, and just the joy of seeing their first heist together with the first plot twist, just.. such a delight, but all seasons that ive seen so far were all excellent, it’s a stellar show
how long have you watched 1? (natsume yujinchou) oh idk exactly, like years and years man... defs the longest out of all on this list
how did you become interested in 3? (b99) i think it was just on netflix way back in season 1 and i started watching it, loved it and never stopped? i think that might have even been before it got rlly popular lol
who is your favorite actor in 4? (blackspot) i dont rlly know any of these french peeps? but teddybear’s one of my fave characters, so hopefully the person who plays him is also cool, in which case hubert delattre (if not, Suliane Brahim does a v good job as the lead)
which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5? (natsume yujinchou, leverage or longmire) um... real torn between natsume and leverage here, they’re both such lovely gems that do found family so, so well.. leverage is a team of modern robin hood-esque spies with brilliant writing and exciting heists and multiple delightful plot twists every episode and great character building and so much catharticism in ruining evil rich peoples lives.
but natsume’s title character is one of my very favorite characters ever, hes been through so much but he becomes the most kindest and thoughtful boy ever, and its so, so soft and gentle in its development of characters and their slow build of getting to know each other and becoming friends, and the interactions with the paranormal world are very rarely entirely malicious/scary, and there’s pretty well no romance, at least like no romance for plot/with the main characters anyways, and there’s lots of female characters who have important roles but arent sexualized/killed off for man feels/exist for romo (which sadly cannot be said about a lot of media, especially manga/anime tbh, even leverage does not win entirely on that front).. its defintiely my favorite anime ever (i dont watch loads, but literally no other one can ever come close to topping its perfection),
i guess tho, leverage is over, and natsume is still technically ongoing, so i guess for that then i have to go with natsume?
which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3? (natsume yuujinchou or b99) Natsume for sure, they’re so short its easy to power thru like half a season in an afternoon
if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be? (blackspot) i would probably want to be someone who didnt live in villefranche actually haha uh, it’s a pretty spoopity place.. even some of the characters i do like make some Bad decisions that are v bothersome. Dr. Leila barami seems to have a good head on her shoulders tho, so if i Must be a character here then let’s go with her
would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? (b99 or blackspot) oh god... the cheery upbeat department at the 99 meet up with a grim, misty tiny mountain forest village with bleak day to day life, solving crimes amidst small town paranoia and weird maybe cult-related conspiracies and honestbhly something/s paranormal and menacing going on in the woods?? i just... cant see any of the characters even interacting lol, im just picturing jake’s confused befuddled face when he hears something weird but like x 10000
pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple? (natsume yujinchou) hm... i mean, one of the things i love about Natsume is that there arent really any romo relationships tbh? at least not with any of the main characters in the main storyline (so far), just like the odd one-off of minor characters (and takashi’s adopted parents ofc, but that’s different). so, yeah, i cant really think of one (although i think the big fandom fave ship of takashi and his worst enemy is rlly.. nope, and i dont know what’s going on there? takashi and tanama however, that would make sense, tho it is not unlikely so i cant answer this question with them)
overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5? (b99 or longmire) b99! cos ya know my annoyances with some of the stuff happening later on in longmire lol, b99 just got better n better as it went along, and it’s still going :’)
which has the better theme music, 2 or 4? (leverage or blackspot) blackspot has a real good eerie atmospheric theme which is gr8 and i love it <3 (leverage’s tune is like, elevator music/cheesy jazzy spy tune, which does suit it tho lol)
and idk, anyone bored and stuck at home who wants to do this? no pressure if ur like nah but if u wanna go ahead.... @creepy-friend-of-darkness @anna-wa @rhinky-thingz @rexbasileus @aeolian-harp @warrenkoles @softbrobarnes @damnitttana @cluelesswolf @moondoggiestyle @blloodorangeisthenewblack @my-nail-beds-suck @frankiecolours @savvylikeyeahhh @lake-effectkidx @justhugharry @casualmisandry @j4ya @galaxygalpals @thesecondwarm @dealwright @knipperdollin @curlycombover @kaspbrakeddie (and if i didnt tag u and u still wanna do this, consider yeself tagged)
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joyfulsongbird · 5 years
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flower anon goes to hadestown and has a TIME
so there is no possible way for me to express my feelings and emotionsTM about Hadestown or my weekend in New York in an ask so I am sending them here. Just for context: I saw four shows in two days (my bank account is extremely pissed at me but it was worth it) and they were all special and phenomenal in their own ways. However, we do not have all the time in the world so I am just going to word vomit about Hadestown. 
So it is Sunday morning, I am on 48th and I am seeing The Lightening Thief at 1 but I made brownies for the cast and crew (as well as a separate batch for Eva because last time someone bought treats to the show she didn’t get one) and I was unsure if security would let me into the theatre with the food. So I “stagedoored” Hadestown as the cast and crew were coming in for the morning. I gave the first batch to Kay and she was incredibly sweet and lovely. I explained that the brownies were in fact not full of drugs (I do not have the money for that!!) which she laughed at and then we went on our merry ways. 
After Lightening Thief I had some time to kill before Hadestown so I went to dinner and when I walked back to the Walter Kerr they were stagedooring for the matinee show. I decided to wait and give Eva the batch that I made for her because I literally had nothing else to do. So Eva comes out and I’m at the very end so I am expecting her to come to me last (which is fine, I was going to see her again at the evening stagedoor!) but she STRUTTED down my way and I explained that these were for her and that I hoped she was surviving the two show day. She said that she had to give me a hug and of course I accepted. Then she complimented my top (which was leopard print) and exposed her neck tattoo and was like “they match!!” Eva was so lovely and then I left to let the people stagedooring enjoy their experience. 
Fast forward a little I am sitting in the Walter Kerr and it is starting to come over me that I am actually here and about to see this show. Then the light dims and Andre came out and opened the show. Saying “aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight” back in harmony with the audience was indescribable, just as the actors were centring themselves for the show, I was centring myself for an unforgettable experience. 
Now I am just going to transition into some notes about the show (i would do every song but we would be here a while, so I am just doing what impacted me the most/I recall): 
The first trombone note played and INSTANTLY my eyes were misty oops 
when Hermes is introducing everyone Orpheus was kind of fidgeting/extending his fingers in a very specific way and was a very cute and subtle way of expressing his kind of nervousness/anxiety/ticks whatever you want to refer to it as 
The la la las hit so different live like holy shit the way the sound radiates around the theatre is magical and unlike anything else. 
The first interaction of Orpheus and Eurydice had my heart soft and I was not ready in any shape or form for anything to happen to them other than love and happiness 
At the end of Road to Hell when Hermes sings “we’re going to sing it again” Hermes WENT OFF. The lighting is absolutely gorgeous and the whole cast is like jazz handing at him and he holds it for an ungodly length of time and it was a legendary opening. 
HEARING EVA LIVE WAS EVERYTHING i watched her with wide eyes and so much love in my heart like i didn’t realise how intense the sound would be in a live space. I dont know shit about how sound and mics work but man like it is so different live the whole show I had chills.
Come home with me and wedding song are so fucking tender and horny like god i love this couple so much i had a bad seat for watching Eurydice drop her coat shoulder when she tells orpheus if he wants to take her home he better werk but the teasing tone in her voice was iconic and his little breathy hitch got me like isahdfsdhflhdf
During living it up on top when Eurydice dances with the workers chorus she did the Leg KickTM and I felt blessed 
also during his toast Orpheus’ voice broke when he said “To the Patroness” and it was the cutest thing in the world i love my nervous son 
All I’ve ever known was the first song to make me cry cry, it is just so sweet and such a special depiction of love and really hit home for me. it says a lot about me that the tender and horny song is the one that broke me. When the leg thing happened I was unable to breathe for a moment 
the tender horniess continues during way down, and i specifically watched the kiddos because I love to suffer. They start on a stool and orpheus kisses her neck while she taps the beat of the song on his thigh and theyre just so in love my heart could not take it. They move then to the centre of the stage and spoon and you can see Orpheus’ feet tapping along to the music here too. 
Chant is so fucking sexy there is literally no other way to describe it, everything about the design and the way it is performed is so so so good like h o l y s h i t it is so good. However I hate Hades sunglasses and wish they were different because they just make him look like my racist uncle lol 
Wait for me gave me a panic attack because i was very worried about bby orpheus getting bonked on the head but also THE LIGHTING IS SO SEXY the lighting tony was so well deserved i’m glad the american theatre wing did like at least one (1) thing right. Also i was full on crying at this point. 
Why we build the wall…. powerful shit I watched persephone during this and her facial expressions tell such an intense story of love, hate, desperation, and drunkenness. 
flowers rekt me and left me for dead. it was such an emotional performance and i personally resonate with this song a lot (haha thats trauma baby) AND THEN THE TRANSITION TO TENDER LOVING COME HOME WITH ME stomped on my grave. also orpheus ran right by me and i was like GO GET HER YOU LANKY FUCK 
i usually don’t listen past flowers because self care and I was already an emotional mess so when if its true began i was full on weeping. I felt so bad for the people next to me, you physically see orpheus break down and it shattered me and then rebuild with the support of the worker and the hope become restored (but it isnt strong enough in the end (OUCH)) 
epic iii instrumental with the dance was just so full of young love hades and persephone just beam at eachother in this new wonderful way and once again, i was weeping because orpheus did it he la la laed the world back into tune and it is so tender and so full of love 
EVAS BELT IN WAIT FOR ME REPRISE GOT ME FEELING ALL KINDS OF CRAZY i was leaning so aggressively forward in my seat i want to remember that sound FOREVER 
doubt comes in was a really bad time. obviously i know the story but something about the show makes you hold on to all the hope in the world and I was literally sitting in my seat, my nails digging into the flesh of my palm thinking “cmon orpheus you know who you are you can do this hold on please hold on” AND THEYRE SO SNEAKY WITH THE LIGHTS IT GETS HOPEFUL AND THE SET COMES BACK TOGETHER AND THEN IT HAPPENS AND OH LORD i audibly gasped and the tears were STREAMING down my face and the face of the lady next to me who had no idea of the story rip to her man 
i literally cannot recall any of road to hell reprise visually because my eyes were so messed up with tears but hermes voice was almost like a blanket coming to wrap me up and hold me again after all that hurt and hold on to the hope that it might in fact turn out next time we sing it 
also i made an active choice to not listen to we raise our cups before the show and BOY HOWDY that was a choice because the moment it began the tears came once more and it was magical watching the audience (all standing, get that standing ovation) taking in the last little bit of magic that the show offers you and the feeling of hope and light that seeing a sunflower in all of its beauty brings. 
after the show i stagedoored and was lucky enough to meet and talk with Cherie the SM (she called the show too so I felt rlly lucky) and she wished me good luck in law school then i met John, Timothy, Jewelle, Anthony, Kimberly, and of course Reeve and Eva. I might have cried on the train home and yeah it was just this absolutely incredible and life changing moment, I feel so lucky that I was able to go it was worth it in every sense of the word. Hadestown went above and beyond and I will hold on to the memories forever. 
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weareallfallengods · 5 years
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E.M.Pathos - Chapter 1 - Anticipation (new WIP, unedited)
Jenny was nervous.
First the first time in a very very long time, she was actually nervous. Not apprehensive, not cautious, not anticipatiory, not fearful. Just straight up nervous. For her it was an unusual experience.
It wasn't the tests coming up. No, she'd always strangely enjoyed being tested, measuring herself, having documentation of her own internal competition with herself. No it wasn't the tests. Or was it? She was actually quite excited to be part of this new program, to have been selected for the second round. So what was it?
She looked around the small, sterile waiting room for the hundredth time. 'Waiting room? More like hastily converted scientist's broom cupboard is more like it,' she mused. Stark white plastic chairs with no padding made her shift in her seat again. 
"They could have at least had some out of date 'zine's laying around," she muttered. "I mean what self respecting doctor doesn't have dozens of magazines that are like 5 years old just laying around?"
"Well for one thing, there's not even a coffee table to put em on Jenn-o. Which only makes the lack of coffee even more noticeable."
Trust Dax to complain about missing his morning fix. It didnt seem to matter how far from home they got, he always seemed to find a way to make coffee. Like that one time on Estoc Prime. Jenny shuddered at the memory. That one had been close. A little too close for any sort of comfort. She hadn't been able to look a cup of coffee in the face since then. Ok, sure, poisoning the commander of the ship that had hijacked them with espresso had been a stroke of genius from Dax, but it still brought back too many unpleasant thoughts; not something she needed today of all days. 
'Breathe. Just breathe. Dont think about that right now.'
Dax winced. "Sorry Jen-o. I'm just a bit nervous and having to go off caffeine entirely's made me a little spacey."
"Don't worry about it Dax, I understand. We're both a little jittery right now. You have any idea what to expect this round? I mean, last time, they were just like following me around for months with a bunch of weird cameras and asking a bunch of questions. Idk man, just wondering how this whole 'in-depth examination' thing is going to play out."
"Yeah, don't worry about it too much ay. She'll be right. We always are."
Jenny exhaled deeply again. Her mind was working overtime due to the lack of anything to hold her attention at all. There weren't even any cracks or motes of dust to stare at mindlessly to pass the time. 
"Stop chewing ya nails- you're gonna end up with hands like a Thraxian if ya don't cut that out."
"I'm nervous, Dax. Nervous. Me! Actually nervous. I dont even know why I'm here, much less how both of us got in, what they're going to be doing, whether I'm actually qualified, or any clue what any of the probably thousands of ways I could fuck this up somehow are."
"You worry too much. Over-sensitive, you are. Always have been. Then again, maybe that's why you made it to round two."
They fell silent again. This particular waiting room was definitely not conducive to conversation. Being alone in their own thoughts might have been worse though.
Dax started bouncing his leg rapidly. He was nervous too, but not from the unknown. He was more a combination of anxious and bored. Jenny placed a hand on his knee to still him again.
"Ugh, all that study and no one in IGSARC managed to figure out that bored humans are a dangerous thing to leave unsupervised." 
"We're not dangerous Dax! Jeez how many times do I have to tell you to stop buying into the hype and stereotypes?"
"Oh so you think IGSARC got funding for this second round of research just because they were curious? Nah, somebody on the Council is worried. Or hoping to find an advantage. Something. IGSARC found something they weren't expecting to find, and stereotype or not, I'd wager a month's ration of beer that they're either scared of us, or wanting to exploit us."
"God Dax, you're so negative! Maybe you really do need coffee to survive!" Jenny laughed, the bright sound tinkling around the small room they were ensconced in, brightening the mood instantly.
"Haha, yeah, you're probably right Jen-o. Ahhhh I'm just tired waiting is all! You always know how to make me feel better though.
Jenny smiled at her best friend. They'd been through so many things together, from the first day at the Merchant Academy when she'd accidentally stepped on a Lorathian cadet's tail and nearly started an intergalactic incident when her rush to apologize ended up with her hands in what were for Lorathians, very inappropriate places. Even just thinking of that still made her blush a tiny bit, even if it did make her smile. 
Dax had totally saved her bacon on that one, with his smooth talking, good looks and dazzling charm. The accent probably helped too. Not many actual Australians seemed to be out and about in the galaxy, and she had to admit, the combination of his dark brown skin, beach-blond curly hair and brilliant smile were the perfect combination to be disarmingly noticeable. He'd managed to get the Lorathian talking, and eventually the two sauntered off, Dax with his arm around the other, headed to the Canteen. They'd been fast friends ever since.
'That was such a long time ago now,' Jenny, lost in her own thoughts again sighed. 'Well, it seems like it was a long time ago anyway.'
"How long's it been Dax? Since we met, I mean. Seems like I've known you forever."
"What? You forget me that easily? I'm insulted!" Dax laughed easily. "Probably about as long as we've been sitting in this damn room."
"So what, 5 years?" Jenny chuckled.
"Sounds about right. Fuck we were so much younger then."
Jenny punched him. "Hey! Speak for yourself!"
"Hahaha gotta get the dig in when I can Jen-o!"
Just then, right as she was cocking back to punch him again, the near-invisible door to the room hissed open.
The IGSARC representative did not come in. Their face was obscured by the doorframe, but the clipboard they held was dwarfed by the massively long fingered blue hand that clutched it to their chest like a child's treasured toy.
"I apologize for my tardiness, it was unavoidable. Also, please forgive the sparseness of the accommodations at the moment, our study is only just getting started." The alien scientist had bent down to be able to see into the room better while speaking, and now Jenny and Dax were able to see them properly.
"Ah where are my manners! I apologize again, we are all just so excited about this newest phase! Let us introduce ourselves properly, so if you would be so kind as to step out here, as I am sure it would become even more uncomfortable in there were I to attempt entry."
"We should've just waited in the damn hallway," Dax muttered to Jenny as they stepped out into the large corridor that stretched along the top deck of the starship. 
The view from the glass that looked out into the neighboring nebula from the floor to ceiling glass on one side was truly breathtaking. Or at least, it would have been, had Jenny not been short of breath already, due to the nervousness from earlier slamming back into her like and old earth freight train. The momentary reprieve from it, courtesy of Dax, evaporated as quickly as liquid nitrogen on Mercury. He was right though, the hallway was wide enough that they could’ve driven their ‘spacers to the meeting, parked in the hall and still had enough room left for a dinner party. It just made the cramped waiting room seem all the more ridiculously sized. 
The scientist caught her attention again as they started speaking again.
“Allow me to introduce myself- I am Doctor Itraxilitanthudinilatz of the IGSARC Advanced Research Division. I realize my name is a bit of a mouthful for most humans, so you may call me Doctor Traxi. Firstly, I want to welcome you to the second phase of a very exciting program! We here in ARD are extremely excited to be working with you for the next 18 to 24 months on this groundbreaking area of research. Since today is the first day of the program, we’ll be beginning with a brief tour of the area of the facility that will become your home, your quarters, and the areas of the ship that will be accessible to you. Unfortunately, due to the highly classified nature of our work here together, as well as the parameters of the research, in order to eliminate any external influencing factors, you will not be permitted access to the entire ship, however, we’ve made sure to include a large array of amenites within the research facility’s designated areas, so you should not feel too restricted.”
Of course, Dax raised his hand. 
“Did ya at least make sure there’s a pub in there?”
“Ah. Sadly, at the moment, no, however, being aware of the necessity for many humans to participate in ritual toxification, there will come a stage in this project where that will be made available, but sadly, until we reach that stage, your dietary intake will be strictly monitored, which does include the elimination of any physiologically altering substances, at least for now. But more on that later! We will go over all these things and answer as many of your questions as possible during the orientation period tomorrow. For now, let’s begin the tour!”
As Dr. Thraxi started off down the insanely large corridor, Dax grabbed Jenny’s arm. “Great, first no coffee and now no beer!”
“Yeah I know, you’re torn up about it. OMG Dax, just suck it up for now, you should’ve known what you were signing on for,” Jenny hissed under her breath. “You’re just being a baby about it right now because you haven’t had any coffee for a week.”
“Right, I know, and now it looks like I’m not gonna for ages too!” Dax whispered back. 
“Shush and pay attention!”
“...of course this corridor will be off limits due to it being the main concourse connecting the two main parts of the ship. Our section is coming up, which I hope you will find most adequate.” Dr. Thraxi had been droning on for the couple of minutes that it took them to make it about a third of the way down the observation concourse, when they turned to a side hallway, significantly smaller than the main walk, stopping in an alcove facing a large frosted glass door. Dr. Thraxi placed six of his long fingers on a blank section of the wall next to the door, at which point the door frame lit up a pale blue, and the glass slid open silently like some fey portal to another world. 
A disembodied voice called out softly, “Welcome back Dr. Thraxi. I have detected that you have guests. Are they the new study subjects?” 
“Yes thank you Janet, these are the newest participants in the second phase of our research. Could you please update their files?”
“Of course Doctor. Subject 1, please step forward.”
Doctor Thraxi gestured at Dax, who took two steps forward into the main room. 
“Scanning. Linking data files. Subject 1: Dax Fellowes. Planet of origin: Terra Prime. Age: 35. Height: 172 centimeters. Weight: 95.2 kilos. Species: Human. Genetic Sub-group: Aboriginal Scottish Australian. Hair: Blond. Eyes: Brown. Circulatory system: Internal, Pressurized Atrial system. Condition: Healthy. Respiritory System: Dual internal lung. Primary absorbative content: Oxygen. Condition: Healthy. Registering bio-markers. Profile complete. Please state your name for voice-print identification.” 
“Uh, Dax Fellowes.”
“Registering Ah Dax Fellowes.”
“Oh wait, hold up, that’s not right, my name’s just Dax Fellowes.”
“Adjusting. Voice print identification for Dax Fellowes saved. Thank you.”
“Stupid bloody machine,” Dax muttered to himself as Dr. Thraxi walked past him into the main area of the lab. 
“Jenny, if you could also step forward now so that Janet can scan you as well please.”
She stepped forward into the room, and was instantly too caught up in looking around to pay any attention to Janet’s robotic voice as the scan proceeded. She was too interested in seeing all the other scientists milling about, some lounging and talking in the common area of the room at the far wall, where a window the size of her mother’s old van framed the expanse of deep space, a dark contrast to the low white couches that were currently occupied by several scientists- at least she assumed they were based on the white lab coats that matched what Thraxi was wearing. Off to the side several others were gathered around a couple small tables, chatting and eating. Various posters and artworks were scattered tastefully across the walls. One in particular caught her attention since it seemed to be a hologram representing the birth of a star that was constantly changing and moving in all three dimensions. 
“Please state your name for voice print identification.”
The ethereal voice of Janet snapped Jenny’s attention back to the present. 
“Jenny O’Rourke.”
“Voice print identification for Jenny O’Rourke saved. Thank you. You both may now access all areas of the lab designated Participant Level 1 security clearance.”
“Excellent! Now that you’re registered in the system, let’s get you acquainted with the areas of our facility that you’ll be using most!”
The rest of the hour long tour went by in a blur- both because listening to Dr. Thraxi was just so monotonous, despite their best effort to be engaging, but there’s only so peppy you can be about showing off chairs and toilets, but also because the reality of what she’d signed up for was starting to sink in, as the more and more they saw of the research facility, the more it became clear that she and Dax were the only visible humans in the entire place. Although the variety of species was astounding, even for a deep space vessel, and that one game of four player multi-dimensional chess looked fascinating, Jenny found herself simply letting the information wash over her. 
“...and that brings us to the conclusion of our tour! I hope that the two of you will be comfortable during your stay with us. We all look forward to working with you, and I’ll be introducing you to the rest of the Phase 1 research team tomorrow at 10:00 hours in Conference 3. If you don’t remember where it is, that’s fine, just ask Janet for directions.”
Dr. Thraxi turned to leave Jenny and Dax standing in the middle of what could have passed as a comfortable modern hotel shared suite lounge, his clipboard fluttering slightly at the rapid movement. 
“Oh hey, one more thing Doc!” Dax called out as Dr. Thraxi stepped through the doorway. 
“Yes?”
“Dumb question, but what’s Janet? She a person, a computer, what? I was pretty sure computer, but the responses are pretty personalized.”
“Ah yes, one of our earlier successes actually- Janet, an acronym of “Genuine Artificial Neural Network” is an AI program designed to interface between all of our various systems. We worked quite hard on getting her responses to seem more natural, as well as being able to understand intent over data requisitions.”
“Bonza mate, thanks for the tour,” Dax yawned. “I think I’ll be hitting the sack soon then, been a long day.”
“I understand. Will see you at the meeting in the morning.” Dr. Thraxi stepped back and the door whisked shut.
“What was that about Dax? Like why do you even care what their stupid computer is called?” Jenny was a bit irritated. Bed definitely sounded like a really good option. 
“I don’t give a royal shit what their computer program is called, it can go fuck itself and the rest of this program for all I care. I wanted to ask an innoccuous question to see something.”
“Whoa there boyo, why the hostility all of a sudden? I thought you were all pumped for this program, except for the lack of coffee.”
“Yeah well I was excited for it....until the tour.”
“Ok buddy you’re starting to scare me, what gives?”
“I’m not sure- I can’t put my finger on it yet, but there’s something...off about this place.”
“Damn. I wish you hadn’t said that Dax.”
“Why? Oh no! Oh did I just trigger you again without thinking? You ok?”
“No no, that’s not it, it wasn’t you. This whole place kinda started putting me on edge soon as we walked through those doors too. I kinda tuned the doctor out while they were showing us around, but that gave me more time to look around at everyone else here. You notice we’re the only humans in this facility?”
“Yeah. That we saw anyway.”
“Dax. Don’t make this more melodromatic than necessary. But yeah, no other humans. Ok that could be explained away with we’re the first ones in this section of the study. Fine, i’ll buy that.”
“But…”
“Yeah, there’s always a ‘but’. I hate ‘buts’.”
“Bullshit, you love a good butt.”
“Dax! For real! I’m being serious!”
“I know, I know, I can’t help it, you know me when there’s a chance for an inappropriate joke, I gotta jump on it ay.”
“Not the time man. Anyway. I couln’t tell what was setting me off either, but I just got more and more uneasy as we went through the tour.”
“Yeah me too Jen-o. That’s why I asked ol’ Blueberry Slenderman about the AI. I wanted to see if there was a difference between when he was on-script versus off it.”
“And?”
“Did ya notice the darker purpley markings on his hands and neck?”
“Yeah…”
“Well, they change color slightly- they get darker and lighter. I thought I was seeing things at first, but that last bit confirmed it.”
“So what, his skin changes colors a little. Loads of aliens have that.”
“Right, they do, but this one’s interesting, because the minute we walked through the facility doors, he started lying to us. Right up until I asked him about the AI. And even then, he lied about something in that explanation of what it is.”
“Well duh, of course he was lying- probably not our definition of it though; if his spots react to deception like our pupils do, it could’ve been a reaction to the fact that there’s a lot more going on here than he was covering in the tour, a lot of it’s classified, and a lot of it he’s saving for tomorrow! Doesn’t mean he’s like lying lying.”
“I hope you’re right Jen-o. I hope you’re right.” Dax sighed. She was probably right. She usually was; Jenny had good instincts. Probably one of the reasons she was here to begin with. Then again, so did he. Instincts that had saved his life on more than one occasion, so Dax had learned to trust his gut. And something was definitely not right about this place. 
He just hoped it didn’t bite them in the ass. 
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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years
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Who was the first person you spoke to today? My brother. Who was the last? I don’t know, yet. It’s only 414AM, this day is nowhere near over.  Have you told anyone you loved them today? Not so far. Are you wearing shoes at the moment? No. When did you last shower? Yesterday.
What song is stuck in your head right now? None really at the moment. Does it snow where you live? No. :( Do you live within an hour of the ocean? About a couple hours away. Do you ever do things even though you know you’ll regret it later? Yes. And not do things I’ll regret not doing and I know this, but yet... Biggest mistake of your life? Oh, man. I think a few that top the list involve self-neglect and not taking care of myself like I should have. I ignored things and didn’t take some things seriously like I should have and it caused a lot of problems.  What are you currently sitting/laying on? My bed. Who is your oldest friend? My mom has been around all my life. How long have you known them? 30 years and counting.  Where are they right now? She’s in bed asleep. Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? No.  How old is your oldest living grandparent? 85. What were you doing at 11am this morning? I’ll likely be sleeping. What do you plan to be doing 2 hours from now? Sleeping. Where were you living in 1993? Same city as now, different house. Were you even born? Well, yeah.  Do you remember who you were dating in July 2006? I wasn’t dating anyone. Are you still dating that person? I’m also not dating anyone, so yes. haha. Who was the last non-relative of the same sex you had a conversation with? My doctor. Last non-relative of the opposite sex? I don’t recall. Has anyone kissed you today? No. What is the best gift someone can give you? A relaxing getaway to somewhere like Bora Bora, haaa. Where do you go to school, if anywhere? I’m done with school. Do you have a job? No. Where did you get the shirt you’re wearing? I ordered this sweatshirt on Etsy. Who were the last 3 people to leave you a comment/wall post? On Facebook? A couple of my aunts and my Nana.  Are you left-handed? Nope. Do you wear contacts? No. I like my glasses. And the idea of putting contacts in and taking them out freaks me out. Have you ever been a clown for Halloween? Nope. Where are the last three places you went? Walmart, Michael’s, the doctor.  Do you remember what the price of gas was the last time you saw it? No. Do you prefer Pepsi or Coke? Coke. Is your hair longer than your shoulders? Yeah, it’s down to my butt.  Do you tend to go for guys/girls with certain eye/hair colors? Uhhh, they’ve all had blonde or dark hair and brown, blue, or green eyes. What time did you go to bed last night? I’ve been going to bed around 5 in the morning lately. When did you get up this morning? I’ve been sleeping in until 12 or 1PM. When was the last time it rained? Like a week ago. Are your finger nails painted at the moment? No. Have you ever made yourself throw up? Why? No. Do you ever go hunting/fishing? No. When was the last time you went camping? I’ve never been. Are you currently wearing anything orange? Nope. Do you know anyone who is a nurse? The nurses I see at my doctor appointments, ha. I’ve been seeing one of my doctors for a few years now and the nurse that helps out as well, and she and I have gotten to know each other pretty well. We always gossip and chitchat at my appointments. We’re Facebook friends, too. ha. Would you prefer to own a lapdog or a bigger dog? I’ve always had medium size dogs and it’s a perfect fit for me. Are you more of a cat person? I’m a doggo person all the way. Not to say that cats aren’t cute or anything, but dogs and I just vibe.  Are you currently wearing any jewelry? Earrings. Was any of it given to you? Yep, I got them for Christmas. They’re adorable rose gold Minnie Mouse earrings.  What is your worst subject? Math was always my worst subject. What was the worst thing to happen to you today? Not much has happened, yet. It’s barely going to be 5AM. I need to go to sleeeeep. What are you looking forward to tomorrow? I don’t think there’s anything going on. Do you know anyone who plays guitar? No. Do you play guitar? No. I actually got an electric guitar for Christmas when I was like 15 and I attempted to learn, but I gave up very quickly. The guitar and I didn’t vibe like the piano and I did.  Did anyone tell you that you looked nice today? Lookin’ real nice in these leggings, oversized sweatshirt, and messy ponytail. ha. How many missed calls have you had today? None as of now.  Who were the last three people to call you? My mom, dad, and some unknown number. Who were the last three people you called? My mom, this local restaurant to order takeout (they didn’t have the option to do so online...lame), and the pharmacy. Have you had to have stitches at all in the last year? No. Did you graduate high school within the last 3 years? It’s been over 10 years now. D: If not, will you graduate within the next 3 years? How old will you be on your next birthday? 31. *sobs* Which is coming next: Christmas or your birthday? My birthday. Christmas just passed. How many people live in the same household as you? 4 people and a doggo. Have you ever visited another country? I went to Mexico once. Do you have any money on yourself at the moment? Not on me, no. Do you sleep in the nude? I dont. One, I dont live alone, so that would be extremely awkard. And two, I think I would be incredibly cold and uncomfortable <<< Sameee. I don’t feel comfortable being nude at all. Like, literally as soon as I’m done showering I put clothes back on. Do you ever walk around the house naked if no one is home? No. ^^^ I very much like being clothed. What is your favorite way to spend a rainy morning? I don’t do anything different really, but I do love rainy days. Drinking my coffee is especially nice on a rainy day. And being wrapped up in my fuzzy soft blanket.  What is your favorite way to spend a cool autumn night? I just like being able to wear a hoodie and be all nice and cozy. Where was the last place you slept other than your house? Hotel. Have you ever stayed up all night and then gone to work in the morning? Not work, but school. I once stayed up all night studying for a final and then went to class that morning to take said final. I was an actual zombie that day, I don’t know how I managed it. 10/10 would not recommend.  Is there anyone you wish you could see right now? No. Do you have any big plans for the weekend? My aunt and cousin might come over for a board game night. Not sure, though. How many relationships have you been in so far this year? We’re only 3 days into the year, but none so far. I don’t see that changing at all, though. Do you prefer to be single or with someone? It’s best for me to be single right now and for the foreseeable future. I’m not focused on that right now. Do you have any tattoos? No. Are you planning on getting any? I’ve kind of wanted one for a long time, but I doubt I’ll ever get it done. Would you pierce your nipples for $100? Noooo. Did you lose your virginity before you were sixteen? I’m still a virgin. Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No. What are the middle names of everyone in your family? I’m not sharing that. Are you taller than 5'6"? No. Where did you go the last time you took a vacation? A nice and relaxing mountain touristy town. If you could live in a tv show, which one would you be in? I don’t know. Would you ever consider adoption? I don’t plan on having kids at all, but if I ever changed my mind (highly doubtful) I would likely adopt. Possibly surrogacy. I really, really don’t see myself having kids, though. Who is someone you aspire to be like? I’d like to one day just be a better, functioning version of myself. How do you feel about your life right now? It’s 5AM and I’m ready for bed, so that’s a wrap on this survey, old sport. Ya’ll who have been following me for awhile probably know my answer to this.
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fisherfurbearer · 5 years
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fuck sam walmarts
and fuck management
I’ve had it. Left the store in tears tonight.
as some peoople probably/hopefully know. walmart closes at 6 pm on christmas eve. no one actually gets to leave at 6 becuase of shitty last minute customers. but it is what it is.
this. is really personal but im honestly SO close to just. killing myself? so who cares
basically. had a really really bad last few days. spent a lovely time with family (jessies family, his oma and opa and sister and parents and it was just a great time. theyre more family to me than most of my blood family) but it did make me Sad in Deep ways as we dont know if this is going to be our last christmas with his oma who isnt doing so good. and it just twisted me up a little but was othewrsiwse a great day. but then sunday i just...had a huge breakdown in the morning and decided to use my accomodation (i get 2 excused absenses a month) to cool down and gte myself together. slept a lot. woke up adn got a lot done, felt great, then i CRASHED really really bad, got really angry, lashed otu, took like...8-10 sleeping pills...theyre horrific things and im never doing that again...had to sleep for two days after that...felt horrifically sick, in pain, just awful. had repeating nightmares over and over. which has also been wearing me down recently. wasnt able to work monday either because i still couldnt stand and between the pills and the depression/anxiety and really just. felt like the world was ending.
decided sometime last night id just...try my best to make it in today, work my shift (really long 9-6, knowing i wouldnt leave on time nad htisis my first time working in 5 days now...which is rough...) and if i can get through this, i have another couple days off in a row after that (schedules fault, not mine...do feel awful i missed 3 days before that though...) and we can just. get back on track
today i DID go to work, jessie drove me in
i worked. a long time. im supposed to get a break every 2 hours and a 1 hour lunch
i gott my first break on timeish.
then i got my lunch 6 hours after i got in. at which time i got “locked out” for not taking my lunch and coudlnt do anything on the registers. i was supposed to get it 4 hours in. its christmas eve and excruciating and im still in pain and tired from my previous days breakdowns, but otherwise?? i did really good. i didnt mind at all that my lunch was so late. i was a little miffed, but its ok. i dont care, so long as i get it eventually. anyway they FINALLY noticed i was locked out and got me coverage and i ended my lunch at 4. things continued ok. worked on self checkout, met a lot of regulars i really like, prevented $200 of theft (HAHA WOW that was really really funny i love preventing petty theft. i prevent so much theft every week its my pride and joy) just did okay. then they had us close self checkout that took a little while. then at 5:00-5:10 or so i went to my Manager/Supervisor/”““People LEad” as walmart is now trying to call them, lets call her manager Y, and i told her i still need my break and will i get it before i leave. she said go to register 4. i asked again hey will i get my break though and she said yeah and i thought to mysel HAHA thats not going to happen but ok
really stupid that after bieng locked out the first time she couldnt give me my break before i openned a register with a line i cant get rid of
anywayy i did ok otherwise for a while
but at 5:25 or so i reminded a CSM “hey i need my break still can i get that?” and she just ssaid yeah well try to get someone and then more time passed so much time. i put through an ask on the register “assistance needed”. waited another 10 minutes. “assistance needed” again. starting to get anxious. its past 5:40. the line is so long. theres so MUCH NOISE. Its SO LOUD. the intercom keeps going off, no one is responding to me, i dont have a mat to stand on so my knees HURT,, im not doing okk
i switch my light to flashing/need assistance and start looking for someone to ask for help. its 5:45, i need my break NOW, i DESERVE IT for workng this long ass shift and they already missed several of my last breaks a week ago AND got me locked out today and im STARTING TO GET ANXIOUS PELASE I JUST WANT MY BREAK SO BAD
nnthgen a csm is passing by im about to lose it, so i tell her CSM J, please i really need my break now PLEASE and im starting to ccry and i try to tell her whats going on but she shushes me and goes and gets sometone
im full on tears at this point, im so strreesed out,,
manager Y and some other snooty manager come over andd. ffkcing. ask me whats wrong. im crying and i try to explain im really really stressed out, i havent had my last break, ive been trying to get someone for so long now, i just really need to leave im so sorry
and theyy just. fckkng
ffcking manager Y jjst ssays ok “ill give you your break” and “this is your last break” and i ssaid?? yeah i knoww?? andd she saidd “next time youre like this, just dont come in”
i quote that completeltyyy....i really lost it then...i cried som muchh
this isnt the first itme she said something like this to meee...
she asked me “why are you CRYING” When i had an anxiety attacki n the store once, when ic cloked in and couldnt get myself together,, she didnt give me time to calm down, she didnt listen as to why, she just said “why are you crying. this is a BUSINESS. you cant be CRYING Here.” and i just said ok ill go home bye and leftt
andd when i tried to get my availability changed from 7-9 to 7-6/7-7 because the random late shifts with 7 am shifts was messing me up really really bad and my doctor thinks i need to hcange it too, she just said “i cant do that. thisi sa BUSINESS.” and she wouldnt listen when i said i might have to quit because of this, this is for my health, im literally scheduled 7-2 every sunday in december, busiest day of the busiest month and you cant even chop TWO HOURS off my weekend availability????
andd i jjst
ive HAD IT with her
ive had ittt
im so ashamed and angry and anxious and i still havent stopped cryingg. she called me over to her again as i was leaving and she blamed me for it. she ssaid a customer was upset that i “Screamed” (ues i raised my voice a little but i wasnt screaming??? also the two customers i was attending to when this was going on and i cried were VERY KIND nad jjst said i was doing a good job and thanked me for being there) and called a manager over (but...csm J got them?? not a customer...??) and i cant be acitng like this, i cant do customer service when im stressed,, and d i should just STAY HOME If im going to be like that
then shee fufkcing toold me i DID IT WRONG, that i “shouldve called someone over” I TOLD HER I DID!!!!! I DID!!!!!!!!!! YOU NAIL INTO MY HEAD IM NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE REGISTER SO I DIDNT, I DID EVERYTHING ELSE I COULD THOUGH!!! I REQUESTED HELP TWICE!! I TURNED MY LIGHT TO FLASHING!!! I TRIED TO CATCH A MANAGER WALKING BY TO HELP ME!!! N OONE LISTENED UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE, I DID EVERYHTING I COULD!! yet she seriously told me to my face that “you didnt call anyone”, “you couldve turned your light to flashing” WHICH I DID and sshee jjst said that i made customers uncomfortable and i cant work like thatt and just stay hhome
ii stayed home sunday because i was having a mjor mental emergencyy.
i came in today because i was feeling better and i took it eaasy and ended up doing a wonderful job and mad eso many people smilea nd fixed so many problems that wouldve otherwise upset a lot of folks and i met my regulars and made old folks smile andd i prevented a lot of theft that no one else wouldve caughtt and i jjstt broke down after 9 hours and not getting a last break and all the chaos of register (WHICH BY THE WAY THEY KNOW I DONT LIKE REGISTER!!! I THRIVE ON SLE FCHECOUT!!! THATS MY JOB TITLE!! THATS WHAT I DO!!!! THEY KNOW THISS!!!!) and HER AVOIDING GIVING ME MY FUCKING BREAK and NOT RESPECTING MY FFUCKING METNAL DISABILITIES LJNASDKAJHDBASJSDNAJSNDKANSD
I JJST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DOO
i really want to die and i really want to never go back but i really loved my job i loved helpting people ii jjst hate her so muchhh and i feel GENUINE DREAD/SEVERE ANXIETY jjst SEEING her nnow
she doesnt CARE about anyone but herself shes a horrible peson i cant tell the store manager though cause she wont care either and manager Y has more clout than me so shell just twist my words and make me out as the bad guy as hte “CRAZY ONE” who cries and gets stressed (FOR COMPLETELY VALID REASONS AFTER BEING PUSHED OVER THE EDGE) even tthough i work SO FFRIKCING HARD and do SUCH A GOOD JOB and asdjanjsdhajshdas
i d ont know what to doo
i cant work another job because no where else pays as much or will let me do self checkout only, because being a cashier stresses me so muchh
ii...really wanntted to grow stuff and make preserves and sell bee products and work with folks raising heritage sheep and make more fiber art andd open a little stall at a local market and sell all that,, and offer more online and do customs andd stuff
i know i could mkae money that wa ybut i ccantt start it so sudenly and im too Broken to do it seriouslyy and i dont even want to HAVE to quit because of ONE PERSON But shes done this so many times now and this is the nfinfal streaww
i jjst dont know what to doo...
i cantt stop cryingg
i cant even enjoy christmas nnow. wanted to see my stepdad and give him his presernt and maybe be ok.
last christmas we had to move because our house was condemned after a fire. now im going to have to lose my job because of a horrible manager who doenst respect my metnal health or anything about me reallyy. and unfortunately im such a failure that i cant. do anything else and if i lose this job ill lse my animla sand i wotnt be able to do anyhtingg andd im jjust fucking trash
goddammit i dont know what to do. i really dont. hhahaaa. i just really want to end it. ive come so far and none of it fucking matters because of thiss fucking horrible manager.
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