#communications.. ? words are difficult !

[angel-archivist]

It's so interesting and so exceedingly frustrating how agab is being utilized now within the queer community as a way to isolate and sort nonbinary and genderqueer folks into binary boxes that determine their moral purity levels, and their authority to do and write and exist.

The way nonbinary writers are being put under accusation of fetishizing gay men while their AGAB is continually brought up in a way that feels like queer-space-approved misgendering.

The way feminist circles that are supposedly trans-inclusive will use the word AFAB in a way that implicitly but intentionally isolates nonbinary people who aren't AFAB from joining. It's for women*.

The way the language is already flawed and leaves out intersex folks from the conversations while focusing on a binary of sex that isn't truthful.

The constant obsessing over whether someone is AFAB or AMAB and whether or not that gives them the privilege to join, do, write, or be present in certain spaces really really concerns me. How are we supposed to dismantle a binary system of gender if we can't even move past forcibly assigning and focusing on people's genders assigned at birth?

[poplarbark]

i am very canine in the way i experience relationships.

when they step out the door, i am left srcatching at the doorframe; i dont want them to leave. i whine and whimper after their shadow. i pad to the window and watch them retreat. it is there that i wonder if they think about me too, in the weeks we are apart. they must, as i am never further than a leash-length away from them, even when i am not wearing the collar.

i pad through an empty living room where i layed in their lap. there, they pat my head; my tail wags. this is a new sensation to me, this kindness. a dog like me has not known such a gentle touch before—not one without impure intention, at least. they scratch my chin, hold my head tenderly in their hands and call me a good boy. do they pet me as a form of adoration, or because i thrust my head onto their lap and they feel obligated to? do they love the sensation of my fur, or are they simply petting me for that familiar sensation they could find in any other lost mutt wishing for a home?

do they think me as an over eager mutt, over zealous in my affection? when i jump up to greet them and lap at their face in adoration, do my claws dig deep into their skin? do i hurt them? do they mind? when i nip playfully at their hands, do they think of putting me down? do they fear the shared burden of caring for a creature like me? do i ?

now, i lay in the indentation their body left in my mattress. i imagine their warmth pressed up against my body, and their scent is heady and thick in my jaws. i whine at their absence; i need the reassurance that they are here for me, the tightness around my neck when they tug on my collar to kiss me softly. i whine at their absence; i fear it as i once have

when they are gone for lengthier lapses of time, the pit in my stomach feels too similar to the time i swallowed whole the sun. it is by no fault of their own; i have grown so accustomed to their loving hand that i have forgotten what it means to be a stray, isolated and sleeping on edge.

they arent here for me to listen their breathing slow as they fall asleep. i curl up; my bed is cold. i hope i soon hear the front door rattle open, the footfalls of poorly laced boots thudding against the hardwood, the praise of a loving owner. because in the streets, silence is forboding and indicative of danger. i fear the silence, as i do not want to become a stray again. i fear i might bite down too hard and break my bones if i were to be cast once more into the streets

i am so, so afraid of being abandoned again

[jackalopescruff]

you have gotta watch those weird n strange video game videos on youtube of like old source games and gmod and such that are brand new and under 1k views i promise

[katetorias]

I wish there was more talk about how actually varied systems can be… even within a certain diagnosis. there’s people who technically have blackout amnesia, but there’s always a headmate there between switches. it doesn’t mean they’re not in the criteria

theres systems with no amnesia, there’s systems who never learnt their trauma, there’s systems who’s headmates never front!

there’s not one set way to be a system and I think if ppl let themselves accept that it would be easier to let themselves be disordered

[stories-by-rie]

how to feel excited about my own projects again

[mellotronmkll]

I need to stop having one weird reaction with someone and then letting the anxiety decide in my head that the friendship is doomed because I ruined it like it's my absolute worst trait and I just have to move past it but it's hard

[darkwood-sleddog]

Would you call Slash a himbo? Obviously he is handsome and respects women, but is he dumb of ass?

He can be Dumb of Ass (tm) but he's actually very smart in a very scary way. This dog KNOWS things and has opinions and gives us, the humans, directions in a very human way sometimes. He is more a like 8 year old child that does motocross stuck in the body of a dog than he is a like...plain dog.

[lycanthian]

gonna be 19 in less than a week. its hitting me. girl what tha fuck.

[ssreeder]

Ok so Idk if u answered this ARLEDY, if yes then sorry haha

But I’m curious to ask like the kind of Dyanamic you will give Sokka n Suki.

From what we’ve seen sokkka cares abt suki, obv, but he dosent want to really open up w her and suki is tired of being takes as a joke, cus that’s mostly what she has taken from sokka’s attitude mostly and that’s why they are avoiding each other. NOW.

W THE WHOOE THING KATARA KNOWS ABT ZUKKA (BY ARA, OBV FANTASTIC) OF COURSE THE FIRST SHES GONNA TRLL WILL BE SUKI AND OMG I JUST KNOW THE BOYS WILL HAVE TO GO TROUGH SOME SHIT NEXT CHAPTER (i think mostly ZUKO but sokka isn’t completely save ither lol)

(Also sorry for the grammar but English isn’t my first language haha)

NOW Idk if that’s like a spoiler but what’s a random ‘katara-sokka interaction line in the next chapter’?

Sorry I’m curious lol

Anyways keep up cuz this series is so beautiful and ur writing is immaculate and DONT THINK YOU ARE ANNOYNG BC UR NOTTT I LOVE AO3 OR AUTHORS IN GENERAL THAT ARE ACTIVE IN THE END NOTES OR ON OTHER SOCIALS IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE U ACC GIVE A SHIT ABT US W INTERACTING W US READERS SO STOP FEELING LIKE U ARENT GOOD ENOUGH BCUZ U ARE GOOD ENOUGH!! JUST LOOK AT WHAT U WEITE LIKE U DID THIS? U JUST DID THIS IN YOUR HEAD AND BE LIKE ‘OH YES LETS WRITE ABT IT’ THATS INSANE (in a good way) ok I’ll stop now lol.

Ok Im done now haha hope you have a nice day :) (I’m scared for the next cliffhanger next chapter.)

HIIIII…. ok so. Sokka & Suki lol…. I want to say they’ll get over it & be friends but I also feel like that’s unrealistic, and not very understanding of Sukis feelings about what happened?

Suki is a teenage girl who just experienced her first heartbreak by having the boy she liked lie to her,,, only to reveal later that he’s involved with someone else lol… yeah she’s fumming. There are also little things along that way that have added insult to injury, like the way sokka has ignored her and the other kyoshi warriors, or not even noticing her when she’s in the same room as him… idk with all the tension I wouldn’t expect her and sokka to make up to a point where they’ll hang out? But I do think a conversation between them is bound to happen.

AHHHHH….. I have so much I want to say about Katara knowing but the next two chapters will do that for me so ummm *sings theme song* BE PREPAREDDDDDD!!!!

ok so a random Katara sokka line from next chapter hmmm let’s see….

“Did you two visit markets together too?”

”Yeah, a few actually. We even stayed at an Inn once, it was nice. Do you remember, Zuko?”

Zuko continued nodding, ”I do.”

There’s a lot of Katara & sokka interactions this chapter but it’s ummm not super easy to show you because there’s a lot happening in these scenes. But you’ll see ;)

THANK YOU ANON I DO GIVE A SHIT I GIVE SO MUCH OF A SHIT I SWEAR THANK YOU FOR THIS GLORIOUS ASK AHHHHH!!!

[infinibeep]

the fact that home has their own solo for the homewarming harmonies for hearth and home album makes me SO HAPPY !

[adhd-languages]

This is your sign to learn to fingerspell in your local sign language.

[chemicalarospec]

Some intersex people genuinely don't want to be included but the majority of us want to be. It's actually really difficult to be in queer spaces that consistently enforce sex binaries, never use the updated progress flag with us, and never have intersex flags.

Often the idea that we don't want to be included comes from intersexists who want us to remain as "disorders of sexual development" (outdated offensive term). It's unfortunate that this idea permeates the queer community so much.

You can see photos from this intersex organization using the pride flag, if you need more than an anon's word. https://interactadvocates.org/#

Thanks for the information!

I didn't know "disorders of sex development" was considered outdated and offensive, I thought it was actually a modern (more formal?) alternative to "intersex". Unless that was "differences of sex development"? (I almost tagged it on the original post but I wasn't sure what the term was.) Ah, I found more information on the link (x). Thanks for the website, very helpful!

This subpage is a great source on intersex people wanting to be included! It's a bit more ambivalent than I expected - combined with this anon's word and my previous impressions it seems like there are still a significant amount of intersex people who don't want to be a part of the queer community, but the ones who do want to be included would much prefer the queer community open its arms. So it seems to me the best course is to do so and the intersex people who want to can individually distance themselves (my impression is most people of that group more want to be personally distanced than think 'I' should never be a part of 'LGBTQA') and only partake in intersex communities.

We recommend adding intersex to your organization’s LGBTQIA+ acronym only once you have intersex leadership, consultation and/or resources. Intersex people have very specific needs, just like each letter of the acronym.

This line in particular stood out to me because they only provide guidance for what organizations should do... I feel like most times when the decision is being made whether or not to use the intersex progress flag, it's individuals and small groups like my GSA making posts, selling merch, decorating a space, etc. that aren't serving any needs besides community for anyone... I guess I already came to the conclusion to include by default though? (Honestly this page feels just barely strong enough for me to send to anyone if this question comes up in the future, so if anyone has any more sources do send in more anons!)

Honestly I was hoping for something like "our survey of as many intersex forums/organizations/people as possible found that 80% of intersex people want to be included in 'LGBTQIA', pride events/orgs, and the progress pride flag" --that this had been "laid to rest" and I could just tell my friend straight "no, intersex people want to be included now"-- , but of course I shouldn't expect things to be too simple haha, people & groups are nuanced and nuance comes in the form of caveats. At least I feel much more informed now!

[teja-has-puppet-autism]

y'know sometimes I go to make a post on this here webbed site, and I almost always end up deletin it cause I measure it through the "how widely applicable is this" + "how horribly can people twist this" metrics and it just stops my little fingies from typin

(this turned into me typing an essay in the tags cause I very much did need to process some shit lmao)

[solivagantingrebel]

I might bitch and moan about writing too much sometimes but I'm absolutely having the time of my life throwing these fictional men in so many situations.

[muppenthings]

For Gorm the Octomer (I hope I’m saying that correctly). Could modern day tablets with LCD screens be used with positive and negative reinforcement to teach consent?

Using red and orange illuminated on a screen with the bitter spray…And using Blues and Greens with a tasty treat. With the eventual hope of better communication and understanding? Starting from the basics and work upwards??? Eventually establishing colors with facial expressions or body language?

When a human is flailing about that is like orange, orange is not good. It’s just, Gorm looks like such a curious sweetheart. I would want to help them gain understanding and be less confused by us silly land dwellers.

Using color would definitely aid in getting your point across faster. Mimicking his colors, the strong blue = yes, while the bright teal/greenish = no. Even if that's simplifying it, he'd get the idea. I imagine he'll learn vocal "Yes" and "No" quickly. In the beginning, "no" for him would mean to abort an action. For example what he's about to do, pick someone up. Making him hold back if told "no" is gonna be difficult. He can be quite impatient so there has to be a strong motivator to keep him from acting.

I imagine he'll learn to be more patient and ask for permission because he gets more rewarded if he behaves. Like they're not gonna turn on a light projector for him at night if he picks apart a truck during the day. xD

Gorm learned from handling the past humans how they sound when scared, happy etc. He's just so overcurious, coupled with impatient, that he can't help himself. Besides, he's not trying to hurt them, just having a look, so he reasons. He has many scars from poking around at things and handling scared humans armed with knives and swords. He could use some lessons in self-preservation too. :,)

The arms are just gonna grab unless bitter sprayed. They act upon a given task by the central brain, aka Gorm himself. There's no thought behind them, they just act on reflex in line with the given task! Of course, if Gorm's attention is called directly to the arm (through pain, it getting stuck or it tastes something foul) he can control it consciously. So even if Gorm learns to hold back, the arms will not. So you always have to be prepared.

skmayor asked: Oops, my bad. I thought green was an active color for Gorm. Now I’m recognizing it as a negative color. I’d be impressed if a scientist took the time to try and interact with the octomer. Learning what different colors and flashes mean.

No worries, I haven't written out what the different colors signal! Yeah bright teal/greenish ones signal strong emotions, often negative. Ranging from him being startled, fearful, upset or angry. The humans are definitely trying to decode his colors and patterns. Humans are a curious bunch too after all! But it is difficult! There's just so many subtle differences in hues and how they flash and flicker. And up close it's hard to see all of him while interacting so they'd have to look at recordings to get the bigger picture. Then there's the accompanying huffs, puffs and teeth clacking that he also uses in communication! :)

[professorlegaspi]

In my special self-indulgent headcanon version of speech gifts, telepathy is a mind gift, but the equivalently difficult Speech gift is speaking in concepts