#AND I CAN WATCH MADAGASCAR

[guttervpixie]

‼️ATTENTION‼️

if a random dude come up to you with a camera and a mic and asked you 'what your listening to?' or 'how much do you pay in rent' THAT ISN'T A INFLUENCER THATS A RANDOM ENEMY ENCOUNTER, KILL THEM TO GET XP

[spinnysocks]

my favourite thing about the madagascar movies is that no one's a sane fucking person

[mostdeviouswizard]

Austim is so weird because some days it's like hell yeah this human interaction shit is EASY. Made a joke and everything and i'm the funniest coolest bitch in the room and everyone loves me and then some days it's like Aliens First Day On Earth Simulator. Yeah i've known this person for over a year and consider them one of my closest friends, but suddenly i've forgotten how to interact with them in a way that is even close to normal. Conversation?? How does that work. I am just going to sit here and stare with wide eyes at them to show them I am listening and say a thing Sometimes, I guess.

[gyorslab]

Idk if anyone has a similar AU out there but PoM if the Central Park Zoo was more accurate in terms of the animals present and their locations

[onyxblastermakesmusic]

Dude this car kicks ass and I can watch madagascar while i'm driving what kind of music do you like gloria? hippo hop hahahahaha dude those animals are so fucking funny they make me wanna merge without looking

[myname-isnia]

If there’s one thing I hope for in UtOS, despite the fact I doubt I’ll be the one who ends up writing it, it’s that once Suiren and Midori start considering Zhi their grandmother, she will be as different from my actual maternal grandmother as possible

[woewriting]

turning point (g!p)

pairing: tara carpenter | reader summary: tara calls you to rescue her from a bad date and things take a surprising turn. word count: 3726 warnings: mdni, +18 only! no ghostface au, reader has a dick, friends with benefits (?), clothed sex, language, smut in general. a/n: will you guys believe if i say the date part was inspired by a terrible date my coworker had? because it was and @wesstars is the proof of it!

masterlist

When the 7th episode of season 4 of Stranger Things started you felt your phone vibrating somewhere in between the cozy blankets. As you blindly looked for it, eyes focused on the TV in front of your bed, you felt it vibrating once again, but this time more than once. 

Holding the phone in your hands, the name “tara” followed by a small heart emoji showed on the screen with 4 messages attached to it. Pausing the episode, you unlocked the device. 

tara ♥︎ can you come pick me up? please this is the worst date ever 😭

Sewing your eyebrows together, you were quick to reply, asking for her location. 

tara ♥︎ im at the motel near the campus, green valley or something chad is showering and i told him i’d take an uber home because i wasn't feeling well and didn’t want to stay anymore please come fast

Typing a simple “omw”, you grabbed your hoodie, throwing it over the white tank top you usually wore to sleep along with sweat shorts that easily became a second skin.

It was easy to spot the building as a gigantic green neon sign took over most of the illumination of the empty street. You parked in front of it, patiently waiting for your best-friend as you sent a message letting her know you arrived. The place seemed expensive and well cleaned, unlike most cheap motels that took over the right side of the street near the campus of your college, still, it didn't appetize you to walk in.

Soon, the younger Carpenter ran towards you, sighing in relief when she jumped into the car. 

“That bad, huh?” You asked with a laugh, setting the first gear ready to go back home. 

“You have no idea.” Tara whined, turning on the heat, complaining about how cold it was outside in a whisper. “I'll tell you everything when we get home.”

“I'm watching Stranger Things.” The focus on the road in front of you as you took a right turn didn't allow you to see the indignation expression on her face, more dramatic than it was necessary.

“Is Stranger Things more important than me?”

“I’m about to find out what happened at the Hawkins Lab…” You continued, trying to convince her of your cause, but her next words made you look at her with raised eyebrows, a convinced smile of someone who won drawing her lips.

“He has a small dick.”

“I'm all ears, princess.” 

The return home didn’t take more than 10 minutes, especially with empty roads and yellow sign lights. Tara started telling about her date from the second it started, which was 5PM, the exact time she started to get ready. Honestly, none of that was necessary to reach the part that it all went downhill, but you didn’t dare to interrupt, you paid attention to every word Tara was saying as you carefully parked your car in your designated spot.

The second the elevator stopped on your floor, Tara had finished telling you about the dinner part of her date. 

According to her, the food wasn't bad, but the place was crowded and the music playing was so annoying that it became a bit too much for her. It was already hard to pay attention to anything Chad was saying as the others' conversation was caught in the middle, stealing her attention, all she could was nod and smile, like one of the Penguins from Madagascar. 

You laughed at her indignation and the small wrinkle in between her eyebrows, opening the door and giving her space to walk in. Kicking your shoes away, the both of you automatically walked to the door at the end of the small hallway of your apartment, the episode 7 of Stranger Things’ last season still on pause when you sat on the bed being followed by Tara; Jamie Campbell’s beautiful blue eyes on the screen.

“... and after we got to the motel, things were heating up and his hands were on my ass and he kept pushing me against him and…” Tara stopped talking after noticing the disgusted expression on your face as you made yourself comfortable on the bed. The girl sat right by your side. “I will not spare any details.”

“I’m seriously considering automatically deleting every explicit part of it.” You retorted, shifting uncomfortably against the headboard.

Despite the years of friendship you and Tara had, from Junior High all the way to college — where you both were right now, nothing touchy ever happened between the two of you, not even a single, drunk kiss at parties. You two were close, of course, but not this close, and hearing the vulgar words easily slipping out of her mouth was creating a weird feeling inside your chest.

“I don’t care.” The girl rolled her eyes, moving closer to you. “Continuing, Chad is gentle, nice, and it feels good to be with him, but ugh… I couldn’t even feel anything when I was sitting on his lap.” You let out a small laugh, scratching your eyebrow. That wasn’t the first time Tara rambled about a bad date, but this was Chad, a common friend, and someone that the young Carpenter had a genuine interest in. At this point, that interest had disappeared into thin air. “And when he removed his pants, he had this military patch underwear and black socks on and it was a huge turn off.”

“Black socks really do sucks…”

“I know!” The exasperated way she agreed with you made you laugh, her hand resting near your knee. “Can you believe he didn’t want to take them off? He said he has cold feet.” Her face fell against your thigh, a tired sighing leaving her mouth, hot breath hitting your bate skin. “I should’ve ran when he said that.” Tara mumbled.

Your hand naturally rested on her head in a soft petting, “You really should have.”

The brunette moved a little, laying on her side with her cheek still resting on your leg to feel the soothing moves of your fingers on her hair. The new position gave her a small vision of what's beneath the thick fabric of your shorts, the hem of black boxers peeking through. She looked away, crimson color on her cheeks as she continued the events of the night.

“But, it’s Chad, so I decided to ignore that ridiculous sock and continue.” You nodded your head. “He removed that equally annoying underwear and I swear to God! It was smaller than my hand, and my hands aren’t that big! Look.” To prove her point, she held your other hand, measuring it with her own. She intertwined your fingers together after you agreed with her, resting them both on her chest. “But I was like… okay, it’s not big but maybe he can be good with his tongue.”

“Oh, God.” You choke, closing your eyes. “I will never be able to look at him again.”

“Imagine how I feel!” Tara whined. “But then I thought to myself, he’s a terrible kisser; if he doesn’t know how to use his tongue on my mouth, imagine how bad it’ll be when he use it on my pu—”

“Okay! Let’s not use those explicit words, please.” You interrupted her, shifting again. “But damn, is that guy good at anything?”

“He has a nice body… from the waist up.” This time neither of you could hold back the laugh, the delightful sound of her laughing mixed with yours filled the room for a couple minutes, your hand still playing with the soft strands that spread across your leg. “Chad is a nice guy, but… that’s not enough for me, you know? I crave touching, feeling something. And he was so small I would barely feel anything.” Tara cried out, covering her face with her free hand as the other still held yours against her chest.

“I’m not a sexual freak or anything but I agree, at least the kiss has to be good. So that’s when you messaged me?”

“I wish.” It was your turn to sigh loudly. “We kept going and when I asked him to wear protection, you won’t believe it…”

“He didn’t have any?”

“Oh, he did.” She bit her lower lip, hand still covering her eyes as the images played like a broken record behind her closed lids. “After that awkward moment where he put it on, he got soft.”

“Maybe it was too tight or something, that can be an annoying bother.” You tried defending your friend, but the girl denied with her head, pursing her lips together, deciding if she should say it or not, but after all the details she already had shared, this one wouldn’t matter either.

“It was loose. It was the smallest size and it still was big for him.”

“Jesus Christ. I am deleting every photo I have with him. I can’t bear looking him in the eyes after knowing all of that.” Once again, your laugh filled the bedroom, making Tara look at you with narrowed eyes. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Is it me?” You tilted your head to the side in confusion. “Am I the problem?”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe I’m a terrible kisser and that’s why it didn’t fit.” She explained, looking at you.”Do you think I’m hot?”

“Where did that come from?” 

“The deepest part of my curious brain.” Tara sat back up, resting her hand and yours on her thigh. “Now answer me, am I hot?”

“You are hot, Tara.” You rolled your eyes. “I’m sure the problem wasn’t you. Maybe he was just nervous to be with you, I don’t know.”

“That does make me the problem.” Her eyes never left yours, looking for a small sign of a lie that was never found; after all, you did find Tara hot. “Why did you never kiss me?” 

You let out a deep sigh. “Because we’re friends.”

“You kiss your friends. Amber, Mindy, and I’m sure you tried to kiss my sister once too.”

“Please, don’t bring that to the table.” The pinkish tone that colored your cheeks made the other smile. “And it’s different, they’re just friends, and you’re my best friend.”

Tara moved on the bed, sitting on her calves, still looking at you, and still holding your hand. 

“Kiss me.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Kiss me.”

You let out an awkward, breathy laugh, trying to pull your hand from hers and moving away just a bit, but the brunette was determined, you could see it in the dark brown eyes.

“Stop joking around, Carpenter.” You said one more time, her slender fingers tracing random patterns on your thigh with her free hand, feeling the goosebumps all over your skin, big bambi eyes staring at you. “Tara…”

“Please…” She cried out, the tip of her fingers trespassing the hem of your shorts, only a few centimeters away from your clothed cock. You could already feel it twitching inside your boxers just from those small touches. “I just wanna prove to myself that I can do it and that there’s nothing wrong with me. You, as my best friends, should help me with that.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, I truthfully believe you can get someone hard.”

“Then why wasn’t he hard?”

“Maybe it was just a bad day or he was nervous, I don’t know.” You repeat what you said earlier, hoping that it was enough for the small girl. It clearly wasn't though.

“But we were having fun! He was sweet, polite, respectful, and paid for dinner and the motel, which was not cheap. It makes no sense!” She whined like a spoiled kid. Tara sat on your thighs, holding your face in her hands. “Lemme touch you. Please.”

“Can’t we just watch Stranger Things and forget about this terrible date?” You asked in hopes she would let that stupid idea go; she obviously didn’t. 

“We can, after we kiss.” Tara fixed herself on top of you, moving up. Your hands instantly grabbed her waist, before she could sit on your hips. “You know I won’t stop.”

“You’re like the donkey from Shrek.” You writhe under her.

“Please…”

“Dear Lord.” Your head fell back, hitting the soft headboard. “Why does it have to be me? And now?”

“Because you’re my best friend.” The girl shrugged. “Plus, you never let me see it.”

“I swear you have the strangest obsession with my dick.”

“I’m just curious about it.” Feeling the loosen on your grip, Tara moved slightly up, sitting right on top of it. “And I can definitely feel it.” The brunette pushed herself down, biting her lower lip. 

“Please, stop moving.” You whined, trying to hold her still, but she was determined, you could see it in her eyes. It wasn’t going to take long before your underwear became a bother. “Tara, I’m warning you.” 

“You sound so hot, you should use that tone with me more often.” Her hands grabbed you by the collar of your shirt, wrinkling it, pulling you closer until her mouth was yours. You didn’t stop her or kissed her back, but your grip on her waist grew stronger. She smiled against your lips, one of her hands sliding down your body, nails scratching your belly under your hoodie, threatening to trespass the waist of your shorts. “Can I touch you?” 

You gulped hard, staring at the brown eyes that looked soft, unlike her hands. “Are you sure you want to do this? There's no point of return.” Tara nodded fast, not giving a second thought to it, playing with the waist of your shorts. “You can touch me.”

When you gave Tara permission to touch you, you thought the girl was going to wrap her hands around your soft shaft, but all she did was kiss you, slowly and enticing, and this time you kissed her back. Your hands on her waist helped her move against your lap, grinding on you at a torturous pace. 

You wanted to turn around, change your positions so you could control whatever it was about to happen, but you allowed her to be in charge; this was all about Tara proving to herself she’s not the problem, right? So you held back the urge.

Tara’s hands moved up again, wrapping around your neck as she got closer, pushing herself down on you, moaning against your parted lips when she felt your dick pressing on her even though you weren’t hard. 

Her kiss trailed down your neck, gently nibbling on the skin there. You threw your head back, moving your hands down her ass, under the skirt of her dress to push her harder against you, increasing her hips’ speed.

“Fuck…” You let out a sharp breath, completely affected by the delicate touches coming from your best-friend, and that only made her more eager to pleasure you. 

“Do you like this?” Tara whispered in your ear, softly biting on your lobule, tracing the cartilage with her teeth. All you could do was nod. She could feel you slowly getting hard against her ass.

Licking your lips, you thrust your hip up in a strong move, making the both of you moan lowly. You could come just with that friction if she continued moaning with her mouth so close to your ear, only for you to hear it.

Tara’s hands trailed down your body once again, but this time she pushed down the elastic of the waistband of your gray shorts, in a silent request for you to remove it. She lifted herself just enough for it to slide down your legs, pooling just before your knees, the black boxer still hugging your thighs tightly. 

She didn’t want to look down, too shy to do so, but when she sat back against your bulge, it was impossible to not look at it. She pursed her lips together, the moan choked in the back of her throat as she felt you pressing hard against her. A wet spot taking form on the dark, thin cloth the more she rolled her hips on you.

It was an agonizing pain to let Tara in control of the situation. You could feel the warmth and wetness dripping for her cunt, you would easily slide in her, if she allowed you to. But you didn’t know how far she wanted to go with you, after all, this was just a test to see if she could get you hard, and she definitely could as she felt you twitching against her in desperate need to release. 

This could've stopped here and now, you were hard after all, but in a bold move, her hand slipped into your underwear, her hand holding your dick in a hard squeeze that almost made you scream against her mouth. Pulling your length out, Tara wrapped her hand around your shaft, moving it up and down in a provocative way, smiling against your parted lips. Her eyes were dark, staring at you with luxury dripping from the brownish just like she was dripping on your thighs. You could feel the hot, thick liquid oozing on your skin as she rubbed herself on you.

“Fuck, Tara.” You breathed out again, broken, lewdly. 

The brunette dipped her hand in her own underwear, eyes threatening to close as she rounded her swollen clit with two fingers, but she kept them open with a wicked expression on her face. Tara pulled her dress up, giving you the privileged view of her ruined underwear, the white fabric completely transparent. You couldn’t help yourself as your finger traced the wet stain, Tara’s mouth hanging open at the agonizing slow touch.

“Stop.” She asked in a trembled voice, shakingly holding your hand with flushed cheeks. “I don’t wanna cum like this.”

“And how do you wanna cum?” 

Letting go of your hand, she watched with focused eyes as you took two of your fingers in your mouth, sucking at the slick that coated them with a satisfied hum. Tara seriously considered saying she wanted to ride your face and fall apart on your lips, but she just, messily, removed her underwear. A thin line of arousal followed the cloth as she tossed it somewhere in your bedroom, your mouth watering at that.

Tara pulled your boxer slightly down just enough for your member to be released, proudly hitting your lower belly, before placing herself on top of your cock, the blood flowing in your veins reverberating against her clit, making both of you choke on your breath. She fitted your length in between her slick folds, almost crying at the warm feeling. 

She started grinding on you, shaking at every small move. 

“This feels so fucking good.” 

Throwing her head back, Tara supported her weight on her arms, gaining a fast pace. Your hands held the skirt of her dress up, giving you the perfect view of her shining cunt, smearing herself all over your cock. You could feel that tight knot on your stomach at that.

Moving one of your hands up and taking the dress with it, you crossed a barrier when you exposed her perfect tits, holding the stiff nipple with your thumb and index finger in a hurtful squeeze, earning yourself a crying moan that only made you throb against her center, while the other hand bruised the skin of her ass. You could see the red marks of your fingers all over her waist. 

Pulling her torso towards you, your lips wrapped around her other nipple, trembling your tongue on the hardened nub, making Tara’s hands pull on your hair, keeping you close to her chest. Her hips started to lose speed, squirming in your arms as she neared her release; you weren’t going to last much, not when she started whispering your name over and over, shakingly violently in your arms. You came right after her, shooting thick ropes of cum directly into your hoodie. 

Your arms were fast to hold her against you, keeping her body close as you came down from your high together. Tara's head fell on your shoulder, her hot breath tickling the skin of your neck, you could feel her smile. 

“You okay?” Being the first one to break the silence, you asked in a soft voice, running your hands up and down her back, feeling her heart beating like crazy; yours weren't different, smashing itself against your ribcage.

“I'm great.” She mumbled out, weak and out of breath. “Are you okay?” 

Feeling the nod of your head, she pulled away from her hiding spot. When you met her eyes, a pinkish color was filling the skin around her cheekbones, coloring the freckles that spread across her face, and unlike you were wondering inside your head, things didn't look awkward after that; Tara still had that familiar, warm look in her eyes when she leaned in to place a chaste kiss on the corner of your lips. 

“Are you proud of yourself?” 

“For making you cum without barely touching you?” Tara laughed in a proud voice, avoiding looking down as she felt your length still comfortably placed in between her slick folds.

Your hands were firm on her waist when you lifted her hips, guiding the tip of your cock against her sensitive bundle of nerves before slowly sliding in her cunt at the same time she fell back on your thighs, trying to catch her breath at the sudden invasion. A small smile on her face at the feeling of being full, her velvety walls clenching hard around your shaft, still recovering from her orgasm. 

“For the fact that I'm still pretty hard.” Pressing kisses over her jawline, you thrusted up, a surprised moan escaping her throat. “Can you feel it? How hard I am? How good I'm filling you?” 

“Yes…” She choked out, wrinkling your hoodie in her fingers, trying to find support on your shoulders when your hands forced her up, your member coated in a thin layer of her arousal before sliding her back down. “I'm very proud of myself.” The breathy confession made you smile against her neck, softly biting on her jugular before your movements gained a steady rhythm, mixing with the wet sounds and the melody tone of her voice calling out your name for every neighbor to hear.

[markscherz]

how the hell do you find so many frogs

This is a photo I took of Miguel Vences, one of my two doctoral supervisors, and I believe the most prolific living frog taxonomist, demonstrating how one finds so many frogs: looking carefully in the right place, and knowing what one is looking for/at. Here, we were at the top of Marojejy, a mountain in northeastern Madagascar. On this trip we discovered several new frog and lizard species.

You can also watch a film where I talk a bit about some of the work that goes into discovery, from my trip to the Bealanana district in northern Madagascar.

This expedition yielded MANY new species.

[worstcharacterpoll]

[Image description: A tournament bracket of 32 contenders, labeled "Tumblr's most hated." The matchups on the left are Vriska vs. Pearl from SU; Rex from Victorious vs. Rick Sanchez; Ansem the Wise vs. Gul Dukat; Kylo Ren vs. Kokichi Ouma; Scrappy Doo vs. Sheldon Cooper; Pierre from Stardew vs. Mort from Madagascar; Seraphine from League vs. Heimskr; and Jurgen Leitner vs. Andre Glacier. The matchups on the right are Walter White vs. Light Yagami; Buck Cluck vs. Ross Geller; Bramblestar vs. Starlight Glimmer; Goro Akechi vs. Pariston Hill; Katsuki Bakugo vs. Berdly; Angel Dust vs. the Impostor; Olaf from Frozen vs. Hooty; and Zenos viator Galvus vs. Tony Stark. The bracket is red on a black background. End ID]

Here is the official bracket for the most Hated Character on Tumblr! Each round will last 24 hours, with a 12 hour break in between. Round 1 should start Feb 9, 2023 at 9:00 AM CST.

As a reminder, this tournament is for the characters that you hate the most, so always vote for your least favorite of the two options. The winner will be publicly executed.

FAQ under cut:

Q: Why did you put in x character and not y character? Aren't there more hateable characters from that franchise?

A: I wanted to keep the competition light-hearted, funny, and interesting. I intentionally avoided most shitty parent characters, dictators, characters who were meant to be hated, etc., as well as characters heavily associated with bigotry and sexual assault, and gravitated towards characters that were more divisive in fandom. Exceptions were only made for characters I am familiar enough with and can use my own judgement for. Using Zenos as an example: He is a villain who is very evil and meant to be hated, which I mostly avoided when taking suggestions for things I wasn't familiar with myself. However, he's very divisive between people who think he's a good interesting villain, people who don't think he's a good villain and don't like him in the story at all, and people who want him carnally. Walter White is also meant to be hated, but he has a meme status, and as a villain protagonist I think he's more interesting than most "meant to be hated" characters. Also, there are certain franchises that I simply didn't want to include. If JK Rowling wasn't such a real and horrible political presence, owing all her influence to Harry Potter, I would've definitely put Snape on the poll. As it stands, I don't really want to give HP any attention. TL;DR answer: Because it's funnier that way

Q: But I LIKE that character :(

A: As mentioned before, I specifically gravitated more towards characters who are more divisive rather than universally hated. They are usually more interesting, and there is more variety with those types of characters - you don't have shitty dad character #1 vs. shitty dad character #2. I actually looked for "anti-(character)" tags and discourse about that character when making decisions about who to include. lol If you actually like some of these characters (uh, my condolences), vote against them in their respective matchups.

Q: Is it too late to suggest a replacement?

A: Yes.

Q: Why are you doing this?

A: I feed off of hatred and violence. I want to see who tumblr users REALLY hate.

Q: Why Pearl?

A: It was quite a while ago now so I get it if people don't remember, but Pearl discourse used to be a big thing and people argued that she was irredeemable for many of the things she did early on in the show. If you remember the "Pearl hates the Irish" meme, that was a parody of how much people hated her

Q: Why Hooty?

A: I haven't seen the Owl House but I'm told many people think he's annoying. Also he's voiced by Alex Hirsch and fuck that guy he did my boy Ford so dirty I'm still mad about this

Q: Why Starlight Glimmer?

A: MLP:FiM is another show I didn't really watch but she was a villain who got redeemed and became a main character and a lot of people think her redemption arc was rushed and botched and she actually made a lot of people quit watching the show. One of my close friends really really really hates her and I don't think that's an isolated incident

Q: Why Berdly?

A: Annoying. Personally I think his arc of becoming less annoying was pretty fun but a lot of people still hate him.

Q: Why Bakugo (instead of Mineta)?

A: I actually debated this a lot and held a preliminary poll which Mineta actually won. But then I decided democracy is dead because Mineta really wouldn't be as interesting as Bakugo in this tournament because he's basically universally hated. Bakugo is more interesting because people who hate him REALLY hate him, while people who love him REALLY love him. Kind of like Vriska. I think. I never read Homestuck and I don't plan on ever doing so.

Q: Why Tony Stark?

A: He's a heavily divisive character because he's a war profiteer billionaire with a superiority complex, but the narrative treats him as a morally pure hero. Also, he's MCU Spider-Man's mentor and most of MCU Spider-Man is basically defined by Tony Stark and he's not allowed to be his own character. There's a bunch of other stuff but I didn't watch and I don't care about most of the MCU. Personally I'm a really big Spider-Man fan and I despise him for what he did to Peter Parker but I shall refrain from making this a long rant.

Q: Why did you include characters that you're not familiar with?

A: I didn't want to exclusively have characters from my interests. I wanted a bit of variety. Before the poll started, I accepted submissions for candidates, and basically trusted submitters to send in decent characters. Some of the characters I ended up with may go against the vague guidelines I set for myself, which kind of sucks, but that's how it is now.

Q: This bracket sucks.

A: Make your own tournament then. I'm just some guy making a tournament on tumblr dot com for free. Don't take it too seriously.

[genderfluid-insomniac]

GENSHIN S/Os WHEN THEIR LOVER TURNS INTO AN ANIMAL

Characters: Aether, Albedo, Al Haitham, Amber, Ayaka, Ayato, Beidou, Candace, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Dehya, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kazuha, Lisa, Lumine, Layla, Nahida, Ningguang, Raiden Shogun, Scaramouche, Shenhe, Tartaglia, Thoma, Tighnari, Venti, Xiao, Yae Miko, Yelan, Zhongli

A/N: I've been working on this for a while and it got backed up thanks to finals but I hope you all like it!!

Aether (golden retriever)

It’s quite a fun morning when you wake up to a flurry of cries and laughter along with a big furry retriever pouncing on you as you just woke up.

You happily cried out for help and Paimon came to your rescue asking where Aether is, still cuddling and petting the cream colored fur as the dog's head rested on your lap.

On the dog's ear was aethers earring and you took a guess, asking the dog if he was your lover to which you got a pretty excited bark and more “kisses”.

The day is pretty much one of the best days ever as Aether gets to fawn over with cuddles and free food while you get to skip your responsibilities, running through the lands and laughing at the playful games you all played.

It’s decided that it was the result of a side effect of a domain your boyfriend recently cleared and it wore off after 24 hours but to say you were glad that it was over would be a lie.

Albedo (snow leopard)

He is a menace especially since snow leopards thrive in colder climates and naturally blend in with snow means a full day of hide and seek on Dragonspine, chasing him around and watching him observe the dancing hillichurls.

‘Bedo is of course going to let Klee pet him and cuddle near a fire if it’s cold (you get priority too), pawing at the knee for attention or to continue combing through his soft thick fur and wiggling around to show his stomach for pets.

You’re going to have to keep an eye on him as the now cat alchemist is going to try to perform experiments on himself to figure how he got in this position and with his large paws he’ll give you his best cute eyes for your help, please say no his fur almost got dyed neon pink.

Kaeya is no doubt going to catch wind of the situation and tease him about gaining a new fur coat to replace his usual white one, casually speaking about how you’re suddenly available since your boyfriend is an oversized house cat.

The cavalry captain gets a snarl and small but fierce roar as he sees Albedo get in front of you and slowly move towards him, both of you don’t see kaeya for the rest of the day and your furry alchemist lover demands rubs.

By the end of the day there will be two sheets of papers with a charcoal paw print on it and a messily done heart, paper slightly shredded but you and Klee love his gift anyway.

Alhaitham (Madagascar day gecko)

Like Albedo is a menace and uses his new form to hide from you and play games but most importantly get info that he normally wouldn’t be able to get as he’s now an ordinary seeming gecko.

Most likely he’ll find you before you find him, climbing up your back with his padded toes and smirking (you think) at your confused scattered self.

Alhaitham can’t just go about his day as normal so he does have to rely on your help much to his disagreement, wandering through the stalls and purchasing fruits for you both.

All in all a very relaxing day for the scholar compared to what he’s used to and did have fun being able to be pretty much inconspicuous, playing “catch me if you can” with his significant other.

Amber (french lop bunny)

Probably has to do with Albedo or something she ran into while being an outrider but nonetheless loves it, finally she’s like her baron bunny and adorably fluffy.

Jean gives her the day off because there really isn’t anything Amber can do in her current state and she could get hurt, you end up having a fun day to yourselves and walking through Mondstadt in with bunny amber cuddled in your arms.

You can’t help but prepare a satisfying salad for her and you, sitting just outside the city and enjoying the wind brushing through Amber’s whiskers.

The way her cotton tail twitches when she’s excited or her high hops in tall grass chasing after you, every soft small part of her is too cute.

Ayaka (persian teacup kitty)

Thoma’s going to come up to you with a mixed expression of worry and awkwardness, his hands hiding a furry pale blue moving ball that unfurled to be a kitten and according to Thoma…your girlfriend.

You’re too busy cooing over her cute cat form to listen to what Thoma was saying besides her not being able to take care of her duties, entrusting you to take care of her and watch over Miss Kamisato.

Most of the day is in her room watching her struggle to walk and fall whenever she tries to stand on two legs, not only not being able to reach items because she’s a cat but she’s a teacup cat.

She does have to admit that you’re adorable from her point of view and you give the best scratches behind her ear while she’s laying on soft blankets and weaving between your legs.

Ayato (peacock)

This is one of the best and worst days for him because he gets a day off of work for a valid reason and he gets to show off how pretty is to you. Thoma and his sister cannot stop doubling over with laughter.

The lord is almost always puffed up and displaying his feathers for you to enjoy, following you around like it’s the only possible option and occasionally cawing to get your attention.

Several times Inazumans came up to you while you were running errands and warned you that there was a very large color bird “stalking” you, turning around to see your lover trying to impress you

It was very clear that this magnificent bird was Ayato Kamisato based on its attitude and coloring but how it happened….. who knows?

Beidou (Treeing walker Coonhound)

It’s quite a shock to see the captain of the Crux fleet basking and swimming in liyue harbor under the hot sun, perking up when her nose caught your scent and shook the water off her much to the crews displeasure.

There are a couple pros when you inevitably go to Ningguang to inform her of the situation and Beidou goes right to tackling the leader with tons of wet kisses and barks, looking back at you with what you swear is a smirk or cocky expression.

As a hound she gets so many snuggles from the children and elders but her enhanced hearing and smell allow her to find more illegal deals or goods being stolen and smuggled by treasurer hoarders (they can’t hardly believe that this dogs is somehow on Captain Beidou’s size till they see you and they bolt without the goods).

At the end of the day you and her are at the front of the ship, overlooking the lanterns decorating Liyue Harbor and having your girlfriend on your lap cuddled up close to you with her head nuzzled into your stomach.

Baizhu (ball python snake)

Since he’s already used to Changsheng being on him 24/7 Baizhu going to know what to do in order to keep himself alive until whatever this is wears off but until then you and Qiqi will have to help run Bubu Pharmacy, your lover coiled around your neck to help you like his own snake as Chengsheng is around Qiqi’s hat.

It isn’t a surprise that Baizhu is playful in his serpent form, racking his brain for when or how this could have happened when he’s normally so aware of his situations but chose to ignore the reason and press light kisses again.

You take breaks for both yourself and your new snake partner who Zhongli immediately recognises but chooses not to comment on while you order food from Wanmin restaurant, going just out of the city to find some some rodents for Baizhu to snack on and holding back a gag reflex when you saw the bulge in his coils.

Whenever it’s hot out his cold bloodedness comes in handy for both of you and trailing down your body to get herbs when you cannot find them, coming back to your arms before coiling around your wrist and dropping the herbs on the counter but not without giving you a nuzzle which gets a funny comment from the customer.

Candace (coyote)

It's unusual to wake up to a coyote instead of your girlfriend but weirder things have happened before strangely enough and both of you have work to do so you couldn’t just laze about and cuddle your new canine companions.

Although now being a coyote, she can cover the area surrounding Aaru village better and fast with four legs, using her intimidation as a fierce wild dog to scare away potential threats with her bared fangs and chasing them off.

You went to work and notified people that yes Candace is okay but she was called away by the Akademiya on a mission in the desert and to come to you with concerns until she was back.

Tiredly smiling when the sun hit the horizon and you saw her slip into the village, playing around with some children before heading to you and encouraging you to brush the grit out of her fur while sunbathing.

Neither of you knew what caused this but it ended the next morning and you both chalked it up to some strange harmless magic, laughing about the fun memories while you woke up and went about your day.

Cyno (death stalker scorpion)

He’s not going to even try come up with a logical reason for how this happened but does find it ironic and is happy that he’s now the most venomous scorpion in all of Teyvat but is now terrified that he’ll accidently sting you hence why when you wake up he’s on the opposite side of the room with a book on your desk open to his species.

Immediately going to find Alhaitham with your help and bug him, pure amusement filling his heart when his colleague glared at him and skittering closer with his tail threatening to sting him. An unspoken threat hangs in the air, the Mahamatra daring the Scribe to mock his jokes without consequence.

Cyno grows to enjoy his new form as he’s just as threatening as he was when he was human and even gets more confessions as he points his stinger at the criminals neck with another Matra coldly asking him to just confess already (you’d informed the Akademiya that Cyno had been turned into a scorpion which Nahida got a kick out of but did confirm the truth).

Late in the afternoon both of you were laying on a rock in Gandharva Ville with the sun warming up your boyfriend, Tighnari had just finished examining your lover and gaining some venom from the scorpion in order to work out an anti-venom just in case but left to two of you sleeping.

Dainsleif (fruit bat)

You rarely see Dainseif because of his constant traveling but he always seems to be there when you need him and stays for as long as he can before he slips away to take care of his personal issues.

Although through everything you’ve seen with Dainsleif this has to take cake, opening your window around midnight when you heard some taps and yelping when a bat flew into your bedroom.

Clinging to your shirt and looking up at you, key details being a half mask-like mark across his face and your boyfriend's signature star eyes stopping all words coming out of your mouth. Was this your lover? It couldn’t be- but who else looked like that. It couldn’t be a coincidence.

Welp now that all your plans were cancelled since your lover unexpectedly is here and now turned into a bat for some reason but nonetheless you sat with Dain hanging from your shoulder eating a juicy fruit you’d given him and looking at you with love filled eyes.

Dehya (Bengal Tiger)

Personally thinks this is an upgrade and takes advantage of it for as long as it lasts, giving you “puppy dog eyes” to explain to Rahman what’s happened but to let her continue her jobs with you as her translator (no way she’d allow any harm to come to you) and begrudgingly agreeing to let her go.

You make sure to pack up some water and snacks (having to go out and buy some food for your tiger girlfriend) so you are nourished during the journey, setting out with a happy oversized cat purring and rubbing against you with no care of the onlookers concerned or confused faces.

All of her work goes smoothly with you having to occasionally step in to explain what’s happened and her enemies not willing to fight an overgrown pyro infused tiger with only a simple weapon.

Evening is one of the best, both of you laying down in front of the fire and stroking the big cat that’s smothering you with wet kisses, chuffing while nudging her head against your hand as you take another piece of fruit for yourself and some grilled meat for her.

Diluc (red tailed hawk)

Usually you woke up to your fire haired lover’s tight grip on your waist before he’d kiss your head and sneak off to get ready for his busy day but today you awoke to a soft chirp and light nips to your cheek by a red tailed hawk. Strangely it wasn’t freaking out externally but tried to get more comfortable next to you as you just froze in shock and looked around the room for your lover or some explanation of what’s going on.

Your feathery friend flew over to a pile of Diluc’s uniform and dropped his glove and vision in your lap, picking up the edge of the glove with its beak and trying to slip the glove over its talon. Its scarlet eyes desperately looking at you with some sort of desire only known to it and causing your thoughts to wander to how similar the bird and him were.

Eventually accepting that your boyfriend was now a bird for an unspecified period of time and calling in Adelinde to explain the situation in order to cancel or reschedule any business meetings. You carded your fingers through Diluc’s red feathers who was now on your shoulder observing the view from outside the Winery and flew out to one of the rows of grapes, picking off one with his talons and eating it with a content coo.

Both of you did have to go into Mondstat to take care of Angel’s Share where Venti cackled upon seeing the famous intimidating bartender and Kaeya was a bit more snarky fully aware of the damage the hawk could inflict. But the aerial view of the city when he would fly around the cathedral was breathtaking to say the least and he wished more than anything to share this view with you, swooping down to you as you came to the base of Barbatos’s statue with to chicken skewers smiling up at him and offering him some dinner from Good Hunter.

Il Dottore (blue ringed octopus)

As far as you know this was probably his doing because frankly it seems like it was something he’d do just for kicks and it was another new accomplishment he could brag about but apparently something went awry when the fatui agent directly under his command came running to get you.

You were about to be handed an octopus but ripped your hands away when you realized the species of cephalopod to be the highly venomous blue ringed octopus which your lover often raved about and nearly yelled at the agent for attempting to kill you before the tiny sea creature pointed an arm towards a note on the doctor’s table.

After reading the note that basically said Dottore maybe fucked up by adding a chemical he wasn’t supposed to into his recent already unstable concoction and that you had to take care of him until the effects wore off in about 24 hours.

The rest of the day was pretty relaxing given you had to carry around a full container of water that your lover resided in. It was eventful with you occasionally slipping him bits of fish and having him climb up your arm to your shoulder to watch the world from your view compared to his small one.

Gorou (Shiba)

General Gorou personally doesn’t like this new development because some people (Yae Miko) already saw him as part dog despite various attempts of him doing everything he could to just get others to ignore his canine features.

So when he woke up one morning feeling a bit smaller than usual and went to rub his face but saw paws instead of his hand, freaking out and immediately turning over to wake you up but only getting out scared barks or whines.

After almost an hour of calming Gorou down with the help of Kokomi who agreed that until your boyfriend was back to normal he wouldn't be allowed to do any work as general.

Well Gorou wasn’t happy with the situation but he came around to liking it when he realized that he get’s to spend all of his time with you it clicked and eagerly asked for more cuddles now that you could both sleep in until lunch.

Heizou (ferret)

Chaos. I don’t feel like I need to say anything else if you know what ferrets are generally like and if you don’t then please look it up it’s hilarious (also fits Heizou’s personality to a T), but better pray for the Tenryou Commission when he wakes up and get ASAP before Sara breaks her “No killing Heizou under any circumstances” rule.

This boy is so slippery even when he’s human but loves to run around you while climbing you up and down as he gives playful kisses on your face, not to mention his coat is gorgeous with bits of tanish brown mixed with stripes of vibrant red and gold along his fur.

It’s going to take more than one person if they want to get him off of you, trying not to touch you in the wrong places as the guard attempts to get Heizou out from your clothes and even if they’re successful the detective is going to nip at them so he can further secure himself around your neck.

You do love it when he’s peaceful, eating bits of fruits or grilled meat from your hand and nuzzling her soft cute face into your cheek (Heizou is going to make it up to you for all the trouble he caused later with cuddles).

Itto (bull)

Please help this man or bull who woke up so frightened that he wasn’t an Oni anymore that he crashed through a wall of your house and it took the entire gang, including both shinobu and you with the threat of Kujou Sara to get him to stop rampaging.

Also in this I imagine that he’s not Ushi sized but full on bull sized but with his signature red horns and red marking colored in his black/grey fur.

It’s going to take more than a couple minutes to tell him what’s going on (Sara already has Heizou trying to figure out what happened) but afterwards finds it pretty cool and naturally offers local Inazuman kids a ride.

You ensure them it’s safe with you going on him as well and the entire day is filled with the laughs of kids thanking their favorite Oni for bull rides, whispering comments to you about your lover’s protectiveness whenever another person gets a bit too close for comfort (like anyone would want to face off against an angry bull).

Kaeya (peacock)

This man is already cocky but now as he’s a bird know for being gorgeous and pretty, will not stop preening himself or looking for some way to impress you.

Each of his feathers has his signature star eye instead of it’s normal colors on his plumage which doesn’t take long to put two and two together, calming yourself down and laughing at your lover’s attempt to console you by perching himself on your lap (encouraging you to use his soft feather to distract yourself).

Both of you silently agree that it’d cause way more of an issue if you went out with an unusually colored peacock of all things (something not native to Mondstadt) and stayed home, sneaking out to walk among the gardens at twilight and admire the luminescent moon lighting up the path.

Kazuha (yellow ragdoll cat)

Such a good kitty he is, doesn’t panic upon realizing his new form but does have some concerns and atm he can’t do anything so he might as well relax with you until you start your day which doesn’t take long.

He’s so adorably cute and you cannot help yourself when you sweep him up in your arms, your lover is happily purring and swiping his paw over the signature red streak to hopefully clue you in. Luckily you took it well with minor panic but ultimately hoped it’d wear off after a day or so and scratched his head as you strolled through Inazuma City.

Many people flock to you and ask to pet your “cat”, commenting on his red streak and cooing at him whenever he walks around on your shoulders purring.

The samurai naturally attracts cats, so expect to be followed by a herd of cats which isn’t bad because they’re all so fluffy and Kazuha would rather nap on you when you’re basking in the sun which leads to a cuddle pile.

Kokomi (full moon betta fish)

Honestly how either of you got into this scenario is a mystery but needless to say it involved a very worried and concerned general Gorou cradling a small glass bowl with a beautiful pink and purple white full moon betta fish.

Most of the day was spent carefully resting in Kokomi’s room in order to avoid any soldiers in case they came looking when Gorou informed the resistance that her excellency wasn’t feeling well which wasn’t technically a lie although your girlfriend tried to convey that she wanted to go outside and swim in some shallow pools.

The happiness you could feel coming off her in waves as she excitedly swam among the shores of Watatsumi Island and fluttered about in between your legs when you walked in the water beside her.

Soon or later you ran with her in her bowl trying to escape Gorou for yelling at you for “endangering” Kokomi and understanding you’re her significant other but that doesn’t mean you get to steal her away (your girlfriend begged to differ).

Layla (sloth)

It fits her very well mostly due to how cute she is and her clinginess whenever she’s asleep, waking up one morning to feel a tight grasp on your waist and being a bit frightened to see a small icy blue sloth peacefully sleeping on your stomach.

You looked around to see your girlfriend’s signature star head accessory sitting atop their head, having heard to the Akademiya’s recent mess you’d believe pretty much anything and your Layla being an adorable sloth was not your life until the foreseeable future.

After locking the door so she couldn’t do any of her work (not like she could anyway), you went out to the nearby markets to get some breakfast and kept her close to you, her arms now wrapped around your neck and happily stared at your focused expressions.

Upon her request (really just her pointing at the House of Daena repeatedly) you went into the library and checked out some books in a small corner to her joy, cooing at her cute form and running your hands through her fur which she seemed to like).

Lisa (fine haired Persian cat)

You were in the library petting a gorgeous Persian lavender cat when the Acting Grandmaster bust into the room frantically asking if you knew where Lisa was and yelling that someone went wrong when the librarian as helping Albedo out with a recent experiment only to see you with the cat happily purring on your lap. “Oh good you found her.”

Obviously after the explanation that your lover had been accidently turned into a cat you couldn’t help but coo at her more than you did before you knew and cozy up in a faraway section of the library with some pillows and take a nap among the many books lining the shelves.

Napping away when the sun warmed both of you up and groaning when she pawed your face with her little fuzzy mittens, yawning as you got up to get food for both of you at good hunter and brought her back to your little pillow nest.

Lumine (cream tabby cat)

Just like Aether you woke up to a sound you hadn’t heard in a while which was a very friendly pale yellow tabby cat sleeping on your chest whose eyes fluttered as you began to fully wake up and nudged your cheek affectionately.

It didn’t take a genius to realize somehow that the traveler had somehow turned into a cat and until further knowledge so you had no choice but to care for your girlfriend, who was happily getting a lot of attention from you.

Your companions found this very amusing and Paimon did occasionally laugh at the way the traveler plays with the leaf being tossed about in the wind but quickly shuts up when she tries to take a swipe at Paimon.

There isn’t an hour where you and her aren’t connected in some way and Lumine often naps on top of your shoulders as you go about your day doing your chores, chuckling to yourself at the content purring kitty sleeping on around your neck.

Nahida (butterfly)

A/N: this can be read as either platonic or familial love

It’s not going to be easy to find her but she’ll let you know very easily via a dream and she archon magic, flapping her gorgeous green and white wings all around you while dropping small flowers on you.

Nahida is definitely going to need some help when it comes to eating and you can definitely hear phantom giggles as you cut into a slide of zaytun peach, biting into one yourself and lifting it to your shoulder where the dendro archon is perched.

There is no doubt that she’s going to lead to to the Aranara Village, introducing you to all her friends who without a doubt both know it’s her and adore you (many flower crowns were made for you that day and you brought all of them home).

You can tell just by how Nahida acts (even if it’s just flying about) that she’s happy to have another form of freedom where she doesn’t have to be Sumeru’s archon and just have fun, gliding from flower to flower that just seem to reach towards her every time she passes them.

Pantalone (arabian horse)

All you woke up to really loud noises and a bunch of whining which scared you awake and nearly screamed when you saw a fully grown black stallion worriedly pacing around the room, quickly backing yourself against the headboard and rapidly looking around for your lover but calling out his name.

To your surprise the horse looks your way and something in his eyes softens before stopping to a halt, nudging something towards you that was knocked onto the floor and picking it up to see it was Pantalone’s slightly cracked glasses.

No explanation could be given but you did have a very amusing time trying to get him out of the house without damaging or breaking anything, but the harbinger got back at you by sweeping you up on his back and galloping across the snowy fields.

You could vaguely hear happy winnies whenever you yelped or shrieked from the fast pace he was setting and would use his head to nudge you back onto his back. Anyone could tell that this horse was very prideful about its handsome appearance and you couldn’t deny it.

Raiden Shogun (Jaguar)

Needless to say walking back into your shared room only to see a violet patterned jaguar was enough to get you to call out to nearby guards and your breath fell short when you got the big cats attention, freezing in place as you slowly backed up and dropped the desserts had bought for you both.

You didn’t even have to run because it easily smelled the sweets and laid down to munch of them, nudging one toward you and watching you keenly with her tail swishing idly behind her; of course that’s when the guards came in and pushed you behind them in order to stop you from being harmed.

After a long accident involving the cat hissing at the guards and keeping you behind her, lifting her chest to show an exact copy of the symbol the archon had and sparks of lightning emanating from her paws marking up the matted floors. The message was clear that this was somehow their archon and didn't touch what’s important to her, without hesitation Yae Miko was called.

Ei was so much more calm when they left, you could feel that she was overall done with everyone and just wanted to relax with you (which you both did), escaping away to the secret garden where you hid among some flowers and napped with your lover now a jaguar purring quite happily.

Kunikuzushi/Wanderer (black ragdoll cat)

Nahida called urgently called you to the Sanctuary of Surasthana because something worrisome had happened involving the wanderer and to not panic because it wasn’t too bad, the situation you got only increased your anxiety when you ran in through the doors only to hear the archon’s voice yelling to “Close the door before he gets out!” and briefly seeing a black puff ball scurrying towards you while hissing.

The obsidian ragdoll cat uses you as a shield as he angrily hisses and takes swipes at Kusanali who is clearly having a lot of fun although it seems very stressful, thanking you and scolding the cat who she calls “Wanderer” for trying to escape when someone was trying to help him (you do a double take at that).

She explains that she doesn’t have an explanation but roughly knows what happened and most likely angered some Aranara who specialized in illusion magic to which you try and pay attention to her however your eyes haven’t left your lover’s pale indigo ones.

You go to pick him up (he strangely gave you a onceover before jumping onto your chest without warning) and nearly fell while glaring at him annoyed with his actions, the anemo user only squirmed in your arms to get more comfortable and blinked up at you once settled with false innocent eyes that you were all too familiar with.

Thankfully it was raining so even if he did get out he wouldn’t get far, so begrudgingly agreed to stay at the Sanctuary until he changed back and (much to his embarrassment) started purring when you pet him right behind the ears, looking around to double check if the damned archon was around before allowing himself to relax and wind his tail around your hand lovingly.

Shenhe (red crowned crane)

For sure is going to wake up confused and curious, pecking you awake as softly as she can and nudging you with her head to try to get you up.

At first you thought that she was Cloud Retainer and freaked out, scrambling out of bed and brushing the invisible dirt off your clothes to greet her correctly.

Upon noticing that it was your girlfriend, you chose to ask Cloud Retainer herself who also didn’t know what was going on but assured you it was temporary.

Shenhe flew across the lakes, freezing the water in spiral patterns and landing gracefully on the ice to invite you over to skate.

Tartaglia (red fox)

Him and Heizou have something in common and it’s still being able to cause mass amounts of chaos despite being non human, the entire day will be spent chasing him around while you try to clean up the messes he “accidently” causes.

No doubt one of his antics is going to be finding Zhongli and being playful but just tolerable enough to not be thrown into Liyue harbor, squealing and gekkering when Hu Tao came up to ruffle his tangled fur.

By mid afternoon you’d given up searching for your boyfriend and gone to sit by the harbor, swinging your legs off the dock and feeling a certain soft fox cuddle his way under your arms as an apology.

Thoma (Shiba)

You’re called over by the Kamisato siblings who were trying their best to keep it together and hold in their laughter while they led you to a room containing a dog that looked suspiciously like Taroumaru, noticing that he wore your lover's black metal headband and similar happy go lucky smile.

The two explained that somehow Thoma had been transformed into a shiba when they came to check in on him when he hadn’t said good morning and the only idea they had was to get you so no one else found out, asking you to watch over him until either of them found out a way to turn him back.

Thoma who’d been contently laying in your lap and snuggling against the hand petting him perked up at that sentences, barely able to contain his barks of excitement and running circles around you.

It was rare that the housekeeper got a day off and this was a strange incident but he’d take it, leaving you to chase after him through the city and coming back with some food a chef had given him because of his cuteness.

Tighnari (fennec fox)

There’s really nothing different except for the lack of control, short height, people cooing over him- yeah he officially hates it and scampers off into the Avidya forest to continue his duties. Even if he’s now an actual fennec fox instead of just being a hybrid like he was previously, a small hiccup isn’t going to stop him no matter how much Collei pleaded.

He is shocked that you instantly know who he is based on his various shades of green and blue coat coloring (not missing the hint of pink on his ears and nose) and hazel curious eyes, looking around before jumping into your arms and silently pleading for you to hide him.

You do manage to convince him to take a walk through the forest towards a small river runs and sweet Zaytun Peaches, mint, and Harra fruit grow; biting into one of them and savoring its sweet flavor before offering the other to Tighnari who happily took it.

He gives you the best privilege you could ever have and it’s cuddling him as a fox, it isn’t surprising you fall asleep with your boyfriend in your arms who is slowly falling victim to fatigue as well (he didn’t notice Collei peaked through the door and took a picture for later).

Venti (Mocking Bird)

Like Tighnari, the archon is already like a bird so it doesn’t affect him so much until you and Diluc tell him that he can’t drink any alcohol cause it might kill him in this form and he’s not going to chance leaving you behind in this world (although the face the red head made after you were finally able to convince him the bird was Venti was pure gold).

Your boyfriend never leaves your side and is able to hear all the songs that he can make as a mocking bird, including anything he overhears from anyone else and being able to mimic it completely.

He spends most of his time nested in your hair and showing off his beautiful feather pattern to his beloved, green and blue swirls painted on his brown and white wings (a small Anemo symbol placed on his chest).

Windrise’s massive oak tree provides lots of shade and roots for sitting on as you sit against the bark as Venti flutters about in the air joyously, occasionally stopping and giving you a love peck while he picks up some diced apple with his beak to nice.

Xiao (Blue-backed Manakin)

Takes the whole “fierce harsh warrior” and turns it on its head as he tries to figure out if this new form is because of his karma or just the world laughing at him, overall is very grumpy and does his best to avoid you knowing you’ll coo over his new bird form.

Light but harsh repeated pecking against glass gets your attention and you see a small bluish black manakin bird perched on the window sill trying to get out but freezing when they lock eyes with you.

You recognise the purple triangle that your lover has tattooed on his forehead and remember something he had mentioned about his previous form being a bird, putting the two together and scooping him into your hands; five minutes later both you are on the same page and will later see Zhongli for help but for now you’re okay with some snuggles after some puppy eyes (which Xiao knows he can’t stand strong against).

When the time finally arrives to find the ex-geo archon, Xiao finds a comfy stop nestled on top of your head (bonus point that he can also keep in contact with you and lookout) and does unconsciously let out small chirps when you nuzzle his chest or mention how beautiful his feathers are (which you wish could keep one and luckily enough are gifted one by him as your arrive in Liyue).

Yae Miko (arctic fox)

The Guiji does change into her fox form on occasion and when you’re at your lowest in need of comfort but never out in public where others can see her but something must have gone wrong because now she can’t transform back into her human form which alarms both her and you.

Doesn’t let anyone see her and curls up in her room as she tries to figure out what happened however you manage to sneak into her room, using your puppy dog eyes to your advantage.

Yelan (Black widow spider)

Something was scattering across your face and opening your eyes to see a larger than normal black widow spider to which your reaction was to scream in fear, throwing the spider to the other side of your room and desperately checking your face for bites while grabbing a big book on the shelf next to you.

When you turned back the arachnid was busy using it’s webbing to write something on the floor, quirking your head so didn’t have to move but you could see and becoming genuinely shocked at the sight of your lovers name being written in blue glowing silk (it’s artist looking up at you with all 8 eyes).

It took a lot of patience but you came to accept the fact that your fiersome girlfriend was now one of the most venomous spiders in all of Teyvat until you could change Yelan back but you’d make the most of it and she’d weave complex designs out of her webbing for you.

Another perk was that the hydro user could now gather intel more easily because of her new form and much to your dismay she crept out of the house to continue on her recent mission but just before midnight you felt a soft cloth brush against your face (Yelan had made herself a little bed on the headboard).

Zhongli (standard bearded dragon)

Generally alright with his new form but isn’t happy that he can’t drink tea anymore whenever he tries which only ends in your holding all of his tea hostage for fear of what it’d do based to his reptile body and Zhongli with his now obsidian black beard rather than the normal beige.

He does enjoy basking in the Liyue sun that beats down on a roof he’s taken a liking to after giving you a slip and flattens himself out into (as you like to call it) “pancake mode” to best enjoy the sun’s heat.

Hu Tao upon hearing why he can’t come to work cannot stop laughing and taking photos via her Kamera but lets you both off until a solution appears.

The day consists of you with your lover on your shoulder and walking around the plains of Liyue, more than once does he speed off to investigate a commotion and finds out he is very fast on all fours.

[asocialangel]

soulmate give away pt2 with characters like Reo and Chigiri? :)

My pleasure ! Thank you for asking, i hope you like it, lovelyyyyy

Ion think i'd do a part 3 cause i'm running out of ideas so bad aa

soulmate give away (pt 2)

What made the bllk boys realize you might be their soulmate. 

Do you believe in soulmates ? To be fair, sometimes, some signs can be considered as dead giveaways that you and he are meant to be. 

super shorts hc, gender neutral with reo, chigiri, sae, kunigami, bachira and nagi. fluffy ig ? part 1 includes: isagi, kurona, shidou, rin, kaiser and barou.

ꕥ

Reo: Makes you want to be a better person. For an unexplainable reason, just being around him makes you feel complete and makes you want to reach higher horizons. It’s like when you’re him you know your potential can be accomplished. 

Chigiri: Has watched the same underground, unknown, arthouse unfamous movie as you did. When you guys realized you quoted the same quote, you were really, really confused and couldn't believe it. How come you and him both knew about this movie with like 17 streams AND both happen to really like it ? You called it an invisible string. 

Sae: You have his lucky charm he lost when he was a teenager. So basically up until he was 15 he had this clover keychain that was his (secret) lucky charm. Until he lost it, randomly dropping it in the metro. You picked it up and it became YOUR lucky charm. When you met him, he recognized it instantly. Your destinies liked each other enough to bring you guys to meet again. 

Bachira: You feel the same things regardless of how far apart you are. He’ll be yawing in Brazil and so will you be in Madagascar. You sneeze in the shower, so will he on the field. Sad for no reason ? He’s probably currently watching a k-drama. Ain't that a compassionate soul for ya ?

Kunigami: There is electricity whenever you touch. Literally static electric shocks every time you guys brush against each other. If you let go for just one second, the next time you touch you’ll feel a spark again. 

Nagi: You guys get each other. As in you GET each other. Without a word, you know what the other one is thinking and without a word, act consequently. Even when you were classmates, even when you were just friends. It’s like you share the same mind. People started thinking you guys had made a secret code at this point. 

A/N: yayy i don't think i've ever answered an ask this fast !!! It's not that good but i was really surprised it got a bit of love~~ Isagi smut coming sooooon (my frist 'smut' nd it's not even that smutty kkkkk)

[zoropookie]

SWEET MELODY

☆ chapter four — gtfo watching madagascar (🎂)

You had high hopes for how this would go, at least.

Sitting in your car and mindlessly driving to the very house you spent a lot of your childhood in was daunting. The familiar road stretched ahead, winding through the streets on your journey like a thin ribbon of what you wanted to know well, but couldn't fully. You couldn't bring yourself to look on the sides of you just yet, not looking for any lack of preparation.

Your hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, knuckles white as you took a sharp breath in. You parked the car, and sat there in the daylight of the hour. Your eyes darkened, moving your head down as you slumped back in your seat. Your shoulders down, and your general disposition horrible.

You didn't want to look up, because it was just how you remembered it. And if you were able to remember that, then by that jurisdiction, there was a 95% chance that this was part of your life that you just dug up again.

You pictured it as clearly as it stood: a quaint, two-story home with the front porch that you had your first kiss on, adorned with hanging baskets of vibrant violets that were picked from the hanging nature of the home. Looking to be inviting, yet intimidating. Tree-lined streets with overgrown lawns, and kids bicycles scattered haphazardly on adjacent driveways, the scent of cut grass filling your sinuses. You found yourself in a both comforting and disconcerting mood.

You sat in your car, staring blankly at the dashboard with the glee you had from cleaning your shop wiped off your face. "You can do this," You exhaled. "You can do this."

The trees, thick with summer foliage and vines draped on the walls, casting dappled shadows on the seemingly new asphalt. You drove through that road for the first time today instead of walking, hoping in your head that the rapid beating of your heart would cease soon. The air was full with the smell of blooming nature.

Gathering your resolve that presented itself in small and opposing glass shards to you, you opened your car door and stepped out. The crunch of gravel on your feet as you hurriedly took the gift of well prepared strawberry pies made small enough to be bite-sized. The sun blazed on you promptly, but nothing could take the chills on your skin.

You walked up the path, the looming front door with its always new paint that seemed to never chip under Ei’s rule was waiting for you. Your eyebrows furrowed in total dread, you bated your breath only for exactly who you figured to open the door once you rang the doorbell.

“(Y/N).” Ei stood there beautifully, but it was still surreal seeing her look the exact same as she did years ago. Her warm, welcoming smile and her eyes twinkling, except this time, it was of nostalgic wonder. “Did you find it okay? I did a lot more work from when you were here last.”

“Yeah, no! It looks…” Your eyes wandered, trying to find the right words to say before giving up. “It looks amazing, Miss Ei. No wonder why I used to really like playing royalty here.”

Ei stepped back promptly. “Come in. You can set your treats on the table.”

“Thank you,” You greeted her politely, walking into the home with the familiar and faint scent of lavender and old wood corrupting your nose. You knew the years have gone by, justice how it hardly looks the same from when you were a kid.

“You’ll find a lot of old items in different places now, my apologies. A lot of my appliances needed updating, so the kitchen is quite different now.” She explained from the main hall, setting up comfortable pillows for you to sit.

“This is really lovely…everything’s exactly in your style.” You marveled to yourself, before snapping out of it and setting the treats on the counter. “I’m sorry, Miss Ei. I didn’t mean to wander.” You laughed nervously.

“My home is your home, to this day.” She still presented you the same adoring smile she did as you sat down. “Yae won’t be here for another hour. In the meantime, I suppose we should discuss what you’re comfortable doing at my wedding.”

You sighed in relief. “Oh, Miss Ei. I actually did come here as well to see if you could pull some strings for me too regarding that, but it looks like you were ten steps ahead of me!” You laughed, always seemingly nervous. “I just didn’t want to betray your wishes…you mean a lot to me.”

“As do you, which leads me to believe that…” Ei sighed to herself promptly. “I did get a little carried away in your honor. Being so excited seeing you and reliving what I once knew felt euphoric. But as it turns out…I’m doubtful things are able to be that way at all.”

“I don’t think that’s true, to be at your side at all is a really amazing request considering the circumstances!” You smiled. “Please don’t worry about the outcome, you should feel the most relaxed at your own wedding, okay?”

You tried to ignore the heavy weight crushing you.

The former shook her head. “It is not that I am worried about,” She paused, her tone a bit more sullen than what was normal. “By chance on that day he went to your home, did he say anything he shouldn’t have?”

You blinked, and as soon as you realized what she asked, you stopped moving. Instead of feeling like your limbs were attempting to make up for the lack of brain space you had, you felt like you were struggling to stay afloat. “Uh,” You stammered, feeling your body tremble. “I’m sorry,” You replied carefully before your voice dropped to a low murmur, “Don’t really remember a lot…I don’t think he did, though.”

“Is it truly that?” Ei’s expression softened, but there was something else that you couldn’t quite place before— she looked concerned, perhaps, maybe regret. “It’s very important that you’re honest to me.”

You were unease, but not because of her. There was something you weren’t letting yourself remember, and instead of mulling on it, you forced a smile for Ei. “Everything is okay with me, I promise, Miss Ei. The last thing I want is to burden you both…I plan to make your wedding perfect.”

The mothers nodded slowly, but her eyes lingered on you, as if looking for something else that your face betrayed of you. “I understand,” she replied softly, before sighing with a melancholy undertone. “You are a very selfless person, there is nothing to pinpoint about you that would make you a bad person. It’s unfair how life treats the wise, isn’t it?”

Before you were about to respond, the sound of the front door opening drew the attention of the two of you. You turned, and immediately everything that you ever said was forgotten the minute that the outstanding and intimidating presence of Ei’s very son, Kunikuzushi, was standing there with his suitcase. His presence ever commanding and rough.

“Fuck are they doing here?” He asked, as if you were a speck of dust he had no trouble in not paying mind to.

“They are here to help me plan my wedding. One that you have no interest in helping me in, so I’d suggest you keep your snide comments to yourself.” Ei’s tone was direct, almost like a warning shot to him. She stared at him with much more intensity than she ever would you.

“You have no business inviting non-family to your little event, you’re just interested in pissing me off.” His words dug into you like it was a knife plunging into your core. “I mean, what can they even offer you that isn’t equivalent to a fart in the wind?”

“They are family. It is my wedding, Kunikuzushi, and I may do what I please. I may invite who I please, and if you don’t like who I invite, you are happy to do clean up. Less chances of you ever having to see who you don’t want there, is it?”

“Family to who, a dead mom and probably an even deader brother?” He couldn’t help but chortle, before the sheer velocity of a slipper Ei strikes against the center of his nasion, groaning in pain as he stood there for a long time recovering.

“Go,” Ei’s voice was louder. “I had my doubts that you’d actually be civil, but this is ridiculous. It’d be in your best interest not to come out until the both of us are gone.”

Your heart burned in your chest, a fire that wasn’t to be put out. With each silent and shallow breath you took, the harder it was to grasp. Especially when his piercing eyes took a gander at you, before sizing you up quietly. You refused to look him in the eye, narrowing them down.

He could only scoff and wince from how much pain shot through his face, a small and aggravating smile appeared on his lips. His attention turned back to Ei, “Didn’t know you were interested in inviting the circus to your wedding. I would have brought better farm animals, if that were the case.”

“I’m not interested in your suggestions, you have severely agitated me. Go unpack, and leave us to our conversation.” Ei spat. “You should not even be back right now, it is hours before sunset.”

Your eyes never rang that much, the universe around you blurring and fading as the intense and high-pitched sound began dominating every sense you had. It had you feel like you were submerged in a deep and murky water, a muffled and distant echo of their conversation playing out.

Heartbeat echoing in your ears, a counterpoint to the endlessness of your own ears failing you. You squeezed your eyes in pain, finding solace in at least the darkness, your head wandering with thoughts that you didn't think you'd ever have. Vision wavering, the edges of your sight blurred as the ringing became even more insistent. Your own body was failing you.

Safe to say, you couldn't do this.

previous ☆ masterlist ☆ next

THERE ARE not many things that can sway your interest ever since the "incident", but in spite of that, you pushed forward. you are now the owner of the biggest bakery chain in your city, consistently seeing couples and catering to them as such. you've been a big host at weddings, events for celebrities, and even a big support for your friends and family. you've even earned yourself a niche following as well by how sweet you are to everybody around you. but, even with your kindness, you don't have a particular spark that keeps you going anymore these days. that is until one of your employees starts suggesting you write love letters to customers who request your services. at first you thought it was a horrible idea that could easily turn into trouble, but that was until you were tasked with writing one to your own (very very famous) ex-boyfriend.

taglist ☆ — @seternic @chemiru @coquettemaiden @1kio0o @emiixuu

@agaygothicmushroom @yomishen @jingyuan-wife-real @toruscorpse @whoooismkeee

@sketcheeee @st4r4ngel @xionri @scaradooche @lightyagamifan

@pwushizz @alatusorrow @eutopiastar @magica-ren @slu7

@vaxmpi @theyluvkatt @kyon-cherri @suzydarling @mimi3lover

@auroratumbles @vxcmx @yourfavoritefreakyhan @kunimylovee

@czerwka @little-honey-the-third @featuredtofu @simonisferal @justpeachyteastea

@liuaneee @skyoverkill1 @mellowberrie @lalalaloveallmydays @mostlymoth

@mtndewbajablasted @vernith @lovekeychains @danhenglovebot @elizshade

@balladeersflower @kazumiku @bananasquash @neversore @yevurin

@franaby @vicslz @kamiboo @thegalaxyisunfolding @morgyyyyyyy

[onetwothreefarkle]

alright @quinton-reviews, here's my nicktoons unite playable characters lineup. I limited myself to shows I've actually watched, which made it harder, but also I think way funnier.

Skipper from The Penguins of Madagascar. You need a weirdly specific invention or explanation for a plot hole? Kowalski can make it happen, using random garbage left at the zoo, defying all logic and reason. Also Skipper as a character is utterly ridiculous and would immediately try to take charge, which given everyone else is humanoid, is extremely funny.

Henry Hart/Kid Danger from The Adventures of Kid Danger. I think he could fill a similar role as Danny Phantom. They're both superhero themed, and he could keep up a similar "I can't let them know my secret identity" bit. Also, I think forcing the nicktoons unite canonicity to overlap with the NSU canonicity is funny. The lore just got EVEN WORSE.

Bloom from Winx Club. I haven't watched the Nickelodeon reboot, but I loved the original growing up. The world of Winx is already a multiverse, including both a mundane world and the Magic Dimension, so universe hopping is not far fetched. Of all of these characters, I think she is the most suited to this adventure.

And, finally, Eliza from The Wild Thornberrys. It's canon in the Madagascar franchise that the animals can't communicate with humans, but Eliza can talk to animals, so that fixes that problem. Also I needed to include at least one classic, pre Y2K nicktoon on here, for my own nostalgia's sake.

I hope the lineup is up to snuff, mr. reviews!

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

California zoo accessibility data dump

I just recently got back from a short (and fully covid-cautious) zoo road trip in Oregon and California, and wanted to share my notes re: accessibility at the facilities I visited. I'll get this all integrated into the spreadsheet, too.

Wildlife Safari - Winston, Oregon

This is a large drive-thru safari park with a free walk-about area attached that contains some small exhibits. Guests stay inside their cars the entire drive-thru, although there's at least one place to stop and sit in a gazebo to rest and use the bathroom (porta-potty only). You can pull over to watch animals for longer, and go through multiple times if you missed anything. It's a long drive-thru and there isn't really a good way to truncate the experience if you've got some kind of emergency. The roads are not flat, but they're well maintained and not bumpy.

The walkabout area is very small and contains bathrooms, food options, and other guest services. The paths are mostly concrete and well tended, although you do have to cross the steam train tracks to get to lion/some of the lemur viewing. I believe the Australia walkabout area was also unpaved. There's lots of parking in a big, flat, paved lot.

Sacramento Zoo - Sacramento, CA

This is a very cute, small inner-city facility - a good option if you don't want to try to walk a huge zoo in one day. There's lots of shade from all the plants and a good amount of benches throughout, including picnic tables with shade canopies. The paths are almost entirely flat and paved, with the exception of a boardwalk ramp up to the giraffe feeding and okapi viewing platforms. The cafe has gluten-free and vegetarian listings (maybe vegan?) on their menu. No straws are provided for animal safety, but if you need one, they can give you a reusable curly-straw from the slushies (kinda long and awkward for a normal cup) as an accommodation. They've got both water fountains and water bottle filling stations. Being build in a larger city park and recreation complex, there isn't a dedicated parking lot just for the zoo: the closest is across the street, shared with another attraction, and is kinda small. I've never had issues finding parking when I've gone, but sometimes it does involve a bunch of walking to get to the zoo entrance - if you have mobility or stamina limitations, probably best to get dropped off at the entrance and wait (there are benches).

San Francisco Zoo - San Francisco, CA

The SF Zoo is huge. There's lots of green / garden / swamp space that doesn't have habitats in it, but it means exhibits can be pretty far away, so plan your route accordingly. (Going out to the grizzly bears is the longest loop). Depending on the time of day, there's not always a ton of shade for guests either. There's a decent amount of benches, and quite a few are in decent proximity to animal viewing. After a somewhat long but not steep hill right at the entrance, the paths are all paved and fairly flat. There's a hill going down into/up from the Australia area / kids playground, but it's the only one I really noticed. There's a long elevated boardwalk through the lemur habitats that connects to the top of the new Madagascar construction - if you can't do stairs, as of Spring 2024, that's the only way to get up there to look down on the mandrills or see the top of the fossa habitat. (It's still under construction, so there might be an elevator in the building in the future). Back by the grizzlies, there's an old indoor rainforest building - while there's buttons to automatically open the door going in, I didn't find any on the first inside door going out. It makes sense they don't want both doors to open at once since it's a bird airlock, but not having independent ones on each door meant the day I used an ECV I got stuck in there until a nice staff member noticed.

All three times I've ever been to SF most of the little food kiosks haven't been open, and the vending machines for drinks have been hit and miss - so bring your own, or stock up at the cafe if you need to have supplies with you - but there are water fountains and water bottle filling stations around the zoo. There are interpretive audio boxes through the zoo in English and Spanish, used with a key you get at the entrance(?), but I heard a lot of complaints in passing about some of them not working. There's lots of parking at the zoo in a flat paved lot, and there's a specific dropoff area on one side for rideshares/mobility needs.

Oakland Zoo - Oakland, CA

To be clear up front - Oakland was the hardest facility to visit on this whole trip, with regards to mobility. We went twice, and I used an ECV (electric scooter) one and walked the other. Neither option was easy and both were exhausting. Oakland is a super hilly facility - you basically have to drive up a major hill to get to the zoo. The bottom half of the lower zoo can only be reached by going down pretty steep paths. The hills are also not graded to be "flat", so if you're in a wheelchair or ECV, you're going to have to lean to compensate for the tilt and balance the chair... while controlling it going down a steep hill. It's exhausting and kinda scary. (I don't even let other people carry my camera because $$, but I had to ask for help so I could focus on driving the ECV on those hills). There's also a lot of areas of the pathways that are not in the best repair, or patterned with pressed-in images, and multiple places actually have brass bugs embedded in the pavement so that they stick out above the surface. Lots of tripping hazards and/or things to rattle your teeth out rolling over. A couple places in the upper zoo (the California wilds area) the paths switch from paved to sand and back again, for drainage, maybe? On the upside, there's a lot of benches everywhere, including directly across from prime viewing areas.

Getting up to the upper zoo requires using a gondola - there's no walking option. You can actually take wheelchairs and ECVs on these, but you have to be ready to advocate for yourself. Normally, they don't stop the carriages completely, and expect people to walk on while they're still moving slowly. You can ask them to slow them down for you (I did, because knee issues plus torque is bad), or stop it completely if you need the time/help. When I took an ECV on, they had me disembark and get in one carriage, and they loaded it into the subsequent ones. This is fine because I can walk and stand on concrete for a while without it, but I'm not sure how that practice would work for people who need their mobility aids the whole time. They were very nice about managing the stopping and the loading and didn't make it feel like an imposition, too. If they stop the carriages completely at any point, there will be a loud buzzer/alarm when the ride starts back up. If you're close, it's pretty loud and startling. As they leave the track at the bottom the gondolas tip and dip a little, which can be scary if you're not expecting it - I think it's just the transition of the car from the loading bay onto the track itself. The rest of the ride is very smooth. The track is pretty high up and gives a great view of the bay and the surrounding cities, but face uphill if you don't do well with heights. Once at the upper zoo, the path from bald eagles through jaguar is mostly a boardwalk, but it's not too bumpy.

Oakland's parking is hard if you're not there early in the day, IMO. The overflow parking gets pretty far from the entrance, and starts to go up the hill towards the upper zoo. If the lot looks busy, drop anyone with mobility/stamina issues off at the entrance before parking. Unlike many other zoos I've visited, Oakland's ECVS have added sunshades, which is really nice (and which I should have used).

Monterey Zoo - Salinas, CA

This is a fairly small facility with most habitats on one level, but some big cats and bears are up a pretty big hill. The walkways are paved and flat, and there's an ADA-graded boardwalk ramp that takes you to the top of the hill. The pipes used for the handrails on both the stairs and the ramp get very hot in the sun, however. There's a boardwalk up to the rhino overlook. They indicate that their bathrooms are accessible, but the ones in the main building didn't have bars for transferring - I didn't check the ones up on the hill. At one point in the day speakers along the path started playing really loud pop music (drowned out the birds) and it was very overwhelming. There's lots of handicapped parking spots across from the front entrance, but if you don't have a tag, the rest of the spots are up a bit of a hill and a small walk from the entrance. They do have a note, though, that they can help if you need accessible parking and don't see any, so you could probably call/have someone to go in and ask for an accommodation.

Sequoia Park Zoo - Eureka, CA

This is another nice small facility, very doable for a half-day trip. The paths are paved and flat, and there's benches available. There's a lot of shade, although it can depend on the time of day, and places to fill a water-bottle. The sky-walk through the redwoods is accessible, but might be a little difficult depending on mobility limitations - its' a very sturdy boardwalk through the canopy of the tall trees. (I had more thoughts on this from my last visit, I'll dig out those notes). If you can do even part of it, it's worth it, and there's places to turn around. Because it's in a residential area of the town there's not a huge dedicated parking lot, but lots of street parking and a decent lot directly across the street. I've never had difficulty finding parking, and you can drop people off at the entrance easily.

[tangents-within-tangents]

The Bad Batch as Penguins of Madagascar Quotes

Bc I’ve seen a few posts making this magnificent comparison and both of these squads are near and dear to my heart and bc I need a distraction from the s3 premiere ahhh

Tech: *mission relevant info* Hunter: Tell me something I don’t know! Tech: Without mucus your stomach would digest itself Hunter: … Hunter: Tell me something else I don’t know…something less disturbing

Hunter: (to Caleb) It's okay, kid. We're not going to hurt you Crosshair: *cocks his gun* Not true, Hunter, they did authorize lethal force

Wrecker: *absolutely decking his bros* You pillow fight like a bunch of little girls!

Crosshair: What part of "zip it" eludes you?! The "zip" or the "it"?!

Echo: I don't mind saying it, that guy vexes me. *narrows eyes* He's a vexer.

Hunter: Boys, no training tonight. It's game night! Tech: Trivia! Let's play trivia! I dominate trivia! Omega: Oh! Can we play Simon Says this week? Tech: Yes, Simon says we play TRIVIA!!

Crosshair: I find reason tedious and boring. We'll use force.

Echo: I'm sorry, boys. I sometimes resort to sarcasm when facing the unknown Tech: No doubt

Hunter: Oh I’ve seen accident prone, try Wrecker and Crosshair! With a Chandrilan lantern! And SIX BOTTLES of rocket fuel!! Tech: Worst talent show ever

Hunter: There's no such thing as too paranoid, Omega. Remember that, and forget you ever heard it!

Tech: SCIENCE! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?!?

Omega: I have an idea! But I'm not sure how safe it is Wrecker: I like it already!

Crosshair: *while fighting* You cannot win, Hunter! I am fueled with a boiling hate! A raging fury! Hunter: And a babbling mouth! *slaps him*

Omega: No! I swore I’d never use my adorability as a weapon again, and I meant it!

Echo: Wrecker, cover Omega’s ears, I intend to use my angry words

Tech: This red line shows the frustration level of a really smart person forced to take orders from some dunder-brained boob. As you can see the frustration just keeps rising and rising and rising. I mean, why don't they put the smart guy in charge, huh? IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE! SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE, PEOPLE! AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS?!

Wrecker and Omega: *run in making incomprehensible panicked noises* Hunter: Anyone catch that? Echo: *nonchalantly interprets it exactly* The Batch: … Echo: What? I’m fluent in panic

Tech: Cool cars go faster. That's a scientific fact.

Cody, in his one episode: I believe now I know why “volunteers” ends in “tears”

Hunter: No batcher gets left behind, that’s why! Wrecker: What about Crosshair? Hunter: Okay, one batcher gets left behind Omega: and Echo? Hunter: Maybe two batchers get left behind Tech: Um… Hunter: *groan* Comparatively few batchers get left behind, okay?!

Omega: I thought you agreed this was a dangerous weapon! Wrecker: Which is the best kind! What good is a safe weapon?! Tech: He has a point

Hunter: Avert your eyes, young Omega, you’ll never be able to unsee this! Tech, recording bc that’s his freaking hobby: Don’t worry about it I’ll burn you a dvd!

Crosshair: *standing outside the Marauder* Hunter! I have brought you a hand drawn greeting card! It says “Roses are red. Posies are green. Sorry about Bracca, I was too mean. Your pal, Crosshair” :) Hunter: *walks out and shreds the card*

Hunter: Get up here. That’s an order! Tech: *salutes* Permission to defy order? Hunter: Permission denied! Tech: Then I deny your denial (sorry)

Echo: *watching Hunter and Wrecker, captured and surrounded by stormtroopers* Well this hardly seems fair Echo: *jumps in a walker and defeats them easily* Told you it wasn't fair

*Phee and Tech kiss* Omega: *eyes being covered by Hunter* awww Wrecker: Finally!

[whoisshel]

With the Band

Lewis Pullman x fem!reader

I can see the sweat dripping down Lewis’ face as he rapidly slams his drumstick down to the fast-paced tempo of the song. His once-white shirt is now almost transparent as it clings to the sweat perspiring from his body. Most of his hair is hidden by his navy hat, but I can still see the locks that are overgrown linger on his neck. I can tell from his scrunched-up nose and frown that he’s regretting wearing his new pair of blue jeans that are still stiff.

From where I stand, I can smell the saltiness as it blends in with the alcohol that clings to every inch of the small dive bar. My feet try to follow along to the beat, but continuously misstep as they stick to the ground from the unwashed floor. I can barely hear my voice over the instrumental as I sing-a-long to my favorite song. 

I keep my eyes attached to every movement Lewis makes, when he reaches over to his symbol or when he nods his head up and down to keep his rhythm. My eyes follow his as they search the crowd. When his blue eyes meet mine it’s like two oceans combining together and creating something more special than just a body of water. I suddenly no longer feel claustrophobic from all the surrounding patrons. When he smiles at me, my heart expands to every inch of my body. Crickets awaken in my stomach their song vibrates my brain to one hazy thought of comfort in knowing that I never have to fear loneliness again.

When he turns back to prepare for the next song, everything is finite once again. I never have to fear the end. I will have a lifetime of the feeling of my fingers dancing through soft sandy hair. Every Thursday, I will forever be reminded of the tangy flavors squeezing onto every taste bud when I have a bite of an orange from his parent’s backyard. Every time I smell mint leaves and vanilla Madagascar, I immediately think of Lewis.

As soon as the next song starts, the room becomes muggy again as everyone begins to dance. I continue to stand in one place bobbing my head and tapping my foot as I watch Lewis move his drumstick from one spot to another. I take a sip from the foggy glass in my hand welcoming the fuzzy feeling.

After three more songs, the band finishes up thanking the crowd before leaving the stage. Lewis set his sight on me, pushing as fast as he could over, securing his arms around my waist. Matching his embrace, I wrap my arms around his neck inhaling mint and vanilla. Murmuring our affections into each other’s ears over the loud stereo filling the space.