#AND WHAT THEY’D POTENTIALLY GAIN FROM THE OUTCOME

[succulentsiren]

Interview with Succulent Siren♠️

Where did the idea for the book ‘Powerful Secrets of the Divine Feminine’ come from?

The idea for this book began with my journey of discovering and exploring my spirituality.

Spirituality for me was like entering a wonderland where all the dogma no longer held value.

I was, and still am learning liberating and empowering knowledge about myself.

Once I began to apply this knowledge, I began to attract more money, I became more confident, I manifested a successful blog, I found my voice, I had more successful outcomes in my personal life and so much more.

What teachings advanced your life the most?

I gained the most treasures by learning to apply what I learned about Feminine Energy.

Many women are disconnected from their Feminine Energy but if they we’re connected, they’d be able to attract so much more abundance.

So I want to share this knowledge to enlighten other people, especially women and girls, of their true power.

What message do you have for girls and women?

Like the majority of girls, I was also taught to be a ‘nice girl’ but I learned as I got older, that the ‘nice girl’ path didn’t have my best interests at heart. It was a setup for me to get walked all over by others and I refuse to live a life of misery or submission.

So instead of teaching girls to shrink, I want to remind them of their power.

I had to learn how to release my mind from shame and take my power back and there’s no better feeling than owning who you are and living free.

I know i’m meant to get what I want and live my dream life and I know that there’s so much more abundance to come.

I am totally obsessed with bettering myself and living in my highest potential and I strive to influence others to do the same.

Grab A Copy of the Book Here

[jevaajohhnn]

Gary Brecka: The Biologist Who’s Changing Lives, One DNA Test at a Time

In today’s fast-paced world, where chronic health issues plague millions and quick fixes dominate the market, one name stands out for offering real, data-backed transformation: Gary Brecka. Renowned for using cutting-edge science to personalize wellness, he is not just a health coach or motivational speaker—he is a pioneer in genetic-based optimization.

With an unwavering commitment to unlocking the body’s full potential through DNA analysis and epigenetic science, Gary Brecka Biologist is revolutionizing how people understand their health. His approach blends medical science, cellular biology, and human performance to offer what so many crave: control over their health, energy, and longevity.

Discovering the Missing Link: A Shift from Prediction to Prevention

Before becoming the go-to name in the wellness space, Gary Brecka spent over two decades in the medical underwriting world, where his job was to predict mortality for insurance companies. This experience gave him a rare perspective: a deep understanding of why people die early, and more importantly, how they can avoid it.

He discovered that many of the health issues people face—anxiety, fatigue, poor sleep, depression—weren’t just lifestyle-related. They were biochemical problems with biological solutions. Armed with this insight, he made a dramatic pivot—from predicting death to helping people extend their lives.

That shift laid the foundation for what is now called the Gary Brecka 10x system, a blueprint that empowers people to optimize their health at the genetic level.

The DNA Difference: Health Personalization Like Never Before

Everyone talks about personalization in wellness, but Gary Brecka Biologist takes it to another level. He uses a specific five-gene panel in DNA testing to identify methylation issues—one of the most critical biochemical processes in the human body. When methylation is impaired, everything from energy production to detoxification suffers.

Through targeted testing, his team pinpoints exactly where a person's genetic blueprint is underperforming. From there, they create a precise action plan: supplements, lifestyle adjustments, even breathing techniques—all tailored to that individual's genetic makeup.

The result? Health solutions that actually work because they’re based on the science of you.

The 10X Transformation: Real Results, Real Fast

The philosophy behind the Gary Brecka 10x system is simple: don’t treat symptoms—fix the root cause. And that’s what makes it so powerful.

Whether it's increasing energy levels, reducing brain fog, stabilizing mood, or improving sleep, people report significant improvements—often in just 3–7 days of following his protocols. No wonder professional athletes, Fortune 500 CEOs, and celebrities are turning to Gary to gain an edge in life and performance.

But the system isn’t reserved for elites. Everyday people are seeing life-changing results, too. The reason? It’s rooted in biochemistry, not trends. And it’s changing the health game for anyone willing to look inward.

What People Are Saying: A Look at the Reviews

It’s no surprise that Gary Brecka Reviews are overwhelmingly positive. Clients from all walks of life share stories of restored energy, improved mental health, and even reversal of chronic conditions.

One user described their experience as “a spiritual awakening through science.” Another said, “I didn’t know my body was capable of feeling this good.” Others have reported coming off medications they’d been taking for years, all thanks to actionable, DNA-backed advice.

And these aren’t isolated cases. As more people engage with his system, the results continue to speak volumes. Gary Brecka Reviews not only highlight outcomes—they reflect a growing movement of people reclaiming control over their bodies.

Strategic Growth: The Power of Partnership

To scale his mission and reach more lives, Gary Brecka teamed up with entrepreneur Grant Cardone. Together, they launched Gary Brecka Cardone Venture, a strategic partnership focused on making health optimization accessible to millions.

This collaboration merges Brecka’s scientific expertise with Cardone’s business acumen, creating a powerful ecosystem of wellness clinics, supplement lines, and performance coaching. Their shared goal? To 10X the human experience—physically, mentally, and emotionally.

From corporate leaders to stay-at-home parents, this venture ensures that anyone can access world-class health transformation without needing to guess their way through wellness.

The Science Behind the System

At the heart of Gary Brecka Biologist's method is a deep understanding of how our genes affect how we feel. He educates people on methylation, homocysteine, glutathione, and neurotransmitter regulation—terms often overlooked in conventional medicine.

Why does this matter? Because when these systems are out of balance, the effects can be devastating. Anxiety, fatigue, depression, inflammation, poor detoxification—all tied to subtle genetic flaws that most doctors never test for.

Through advanced diagnostics and years of research, Gary’s protocols address these root issues using highly bioavailable nutrients. Think methylated B vitamins, antioxidants, and amino acids that your body can actually use—not store-bought multivitamins with low absorption rates.

This biochemical restoration isn’t just healing bodies—it’s changing lives.

Empowering the Individual: Health is in Your Hands

One of the most transformative aspects of Gary Brecka’s work is how empowering it is. You no longer have to rely solely on doctors, trial-and-error diets, or guesswork. With DNA results in hand and a personalized plan, you can take back control.

As Gary often says, “There’s no guesswork in the human body. It’s data.” And that data is the foundation for a revolution in personal health.

His vision isn't to replace doctors—but to inform patients. He believes that when people are given the tools and education they need, they can become their own health advocates.

From Struggle to Superhuman: Client Success Stories

A business executive in his 50s reports feeling better than he did in his 20s. A stay-at-home mom overcame postpartum depression without antidepressants. A professional athlete credits Gary’s protocol with extending his career by years.

These aren’t anomalies. They’re the natural outcome of a system that works. When you identify deficiencies and correct them, the body does what it was designed to do: heal, thrive, and perform.

And that’s exactly what Gary Brecka 10x enables.

Looking Ahead: The Future of Human Optimization

We’re at the dawn of a new era in wellness—one driven not by fads or pharmaceuticals, but by personalization and prevention. And Gary Brecka is leading that charge.

As more people become aware of the power of their DNA, the demand for real, science-backed solutions is only growing. Whether you’re battling fatigue or seeking peak performance, his message is the same: “You are not broken. You are biochemically misaligned.”

And with the resources and reach of Gary Brecka Cardone Venture, this message is spreading fast. Clinics are opening across the U.S., and digital services are making testing and protocols accessible globally.

Final Thoughts: A Legacy in the Making

In a world filled with noise, Gary Brecka is offering a signal—clear, science-based, and soulfully delivered. He’s not just transforming bodies; he’s changing mindsets. He’s giving people the gift of agency, energy, and the ability to live fully.

If you’re tired of feeling tired, confused by conventional health advice, or just ready for more—more focus, more strength, more life—then it might be time to do what thousands have already done: look inward. Your DNA holds the truth, and Gary Brecka Biologist holds the tools to unlock it.

Because your best life isn’t a dream. It’s your design—just waiting to be decoded.

[kariachi]

Let's go a little shorter on this one, huh? Another in the same line as the last few, Argit, pokemon journey au, you know the deal.

This time with a little less focus on the pokemon and a little more on Argit's mentality and family issues.

Yes, 'again', the guy is a mess of issues wrapped in fur let him be.

~~

The biggest benefit to turning their focus towards battling is the money. Hands down. Argit’s done the math- in a fit of panic after the break-in, yes, but still- and even with gourgeist floating along beside them they make marginally more per battle, than they do per day just hocking things they find. That, when they’re avoiding any trainers who look particularly strong and may want a fight. It stands to reason then that getting stronger, fighting more battles, will lead to having more money. So, replacing days searching for items with days training and searching for opponents should lead to better outcomes, and less crime.

They still feel dirty, even after they make it to their next stop free and clear.

There’s also the thrill factor. The more battles Argit and their team fight the more they understand. Growing up, battling had been a mark of status. Their ma was the strongest trainer, most dangerous person, around, and everyone answered to her. The grunts who were better at battling had higher positions. Their siblings who leaned into battling garnered better treatment alongside being pulled into the ‘family business’. Battling was a proof of power, wielded against others for your own gain. Now, though…

Battling is thinking on their feet. Judging the opponent and the field. Weighing what they’re dealing with against what their pokemon can handle, putting the pieces together like a puzzle to yank a win from potential loss. How thrown trainers and their poison-types are thrown when salandit’s own toxins sink in, or when gourgeist suddenly outspeeds with a shadow sneak. It’s the trust their team puts in them to have a plan, the way salandit is starting to prepare for exactly the order they’re going to give before they give it. How gimmighoul’s focus on gathering coins grows stronger when it loses, or has to switch out. The way it cheers, salandit preens, gourgeist twirls after a win. The growing joy and pride in Argit with every victory, as the fear of being turned on for it fades from the forefront of their mind.

But the one they aren’t going to mention, not for love, not for money, is that it’s a solid excuse to spend more time in town.

For the vast majority of their travels they’ve split their time fairly evenly. One night spent half wandering the wilderness in search of hockable goods, returning when the moon is high to wander around the town. One night spent wandering further out, returning after dawn with generally more valuable items. One night spent wandering around town, doing any errands that need doing and seeing what’s there. Wash, rinse, repeat. That way they don’t wear themself out. They save money, being able to head back to the pokemon center to grab a bite to eat. Keeping eye out for their ma’s grunts is easier.

There’s better odds of catching some sign of Ruarsu.

In their heart, though they wouldn’t know the word if you said it, Argit is a pessimist. From the moment Ruarsu was led from the base- led, not dragged, because their ma would have needed a lot more to gain before she spent the effort on any of the ones who would fight or flee or struggle, Ruarsu had been too timid, obedient to a fault- they had known they would never see them again. They had also known that, if a similar offer came up, they’d be on the list for the chopping block. Though it wasn’t the first time they’d lost a sibling, it was the first they’d seen them go, understood the situation. Known that they were small and weak, a coward who hesitated to follow orders and ran their mouth rather than submit quietly. It would have taken a better offer, just for the hassle, but if one had come in-

Argit knows with certainty that they’re never going to see their siblings again. Any of them. Even the ones that had already gotten out, like Ruarea, had to be long gone to who knows where. But certainty doesn’t stop the twisting in their gut in those rare moments their pokemon are stored away and they’re truly alone. When they see a watch of other Erinaens, or anybody with their family. Can’t keep the keep the guilt at bay- that they left them there, that they’re still suffering under their ma and most days Argit doesn’t have the energy to think of them.

Certainty of failure, no matter how much they try, can’t stop them aimlessly walking streets. Ears twitching at anything that might be their name, a familiar voice.

Every bus token takes them nearer to the coast. Those steps closer and closer to being able to get far, far away, where they’ll never have to be scared again.

Ruarsu could be anywhere. The odds it’s where they’re heading are fleetingly low. The odds they’ve left the region… Argit doesn’t even know the odds on if they’ve left the region. They do know that when they leave, it’ll be kissing any chance of finding them goodbye.

They’re a coward.

They’re a realist.

They’re a bad sibling.

~

When they reach the seventh town on their journey, larger than the last with ruins nearby, Argit changes up their pattern. One day scouring the ruins for coins and items to sell, two days wandering the streets, training their pokemon and looking for opponents.

Salandit runs forward to clash with a Revonnahgander’s stantler, Argit playing up a confident smirk as it’s tail burst into flames. All eyes on the fight, mind whirring. They’ve fought a few of these before, and know just how they’re going to break through it.

And if one ear stays focused on the passing crowds even as the fight rages?

No it doesn’t.

[f0point5]

I’m excited for the new hotd season, I can’t wait to see where they pick up from the last season.

What’s your opinion on aegon and aemond, I fe like you would have strong options on them 😂😭 just from how controversial they are

If Aegon has no haters I’m dead. Plenty of people have bad mothers and don’t grow up to be so utterly incompatible with existence. That boy couldn’t tip water out of a shoe if the instructions were written on the heel. What 👏🏼 is 👏🏼 he 👏🏼 there 👏🏼 for👏🏼 he keeps saying he doesn’t like his life he doesn’t want to rule blah blah but sits under mummy’s thumb and whines. 0/10 and that’s even without the fact that he’s a whole rapist.

Aemond I feel has potential. The man stands on business. Even though the business is messy but that can’t really be helped. He’s loyal to his side, even if it’s the wrong one, and if he doesn’t know when to back down from a fight he can be pragmatic about the outcome (eg. Being circumspect about losing his eye but gaining a dragon). He really was born to the wrong mother that’s his only crime

Idk how much of the new season I will watch knowing how the story ends. Also the actress who plays Rhaenyra low key annoys me. I think I got so attached to the younger actress’s portrayal and the stiffness of the older Rhaenyra in comparison is still throwing me off. I really wish they’d kept the same actresses throughout.

[blueskittlesart]

can we talk about how rauru is literally like. just zelda’s dad. like in that one scene where zelda looks like she’s gravely contemplating turning into a dragon and then rauru goes “i believe the answer lies in more research and understanding your power!” and she looks at him with such shock and awe. zelda’s adventures in the past are literally like her life but with a better dad. the queen promises her to help her figure out her power but dies before they can figure out a way how to use that power to safely save everyone. zelda desperately wants to help everyone and is clearly feeling the pressure of it all and the king is the one to tell her “hey i understand how hard you’re trying and how much you want to save everyone and we’re thankful for what you’re doing”. rauru actually acknowledges zelda’s dedication and the importance of research and technology, he is kind to her and never blames her for any of the bad things happening. he also never pushes zelda to make sacrifices and is the one sacrificing himself in the end - in botw, all the champions and zelda have to choose to make sacrifices to save the kingdom, but in totk rauru doesn’t ask that of any of the sages, instead recognizing his own responsibility as king and basically dying to save his kingdom. he’s literally zelda’s better dad.

same anon as the one raving about rauru also the differences between how the two kings treat link. they’re both tutorial figures but the way they guide is SO different. pretty much the first thing rhoam does is lie and pretend to be a random old man, being quite annoying as he sends link to do a bunch of challenges for a paraglider. the framing is so fundamentally different, rauru freely offers the information he has to link upfront, he apologises for the body modification, acknowledging link’s potential distress. rhoam basically keeps link on the plateau arbitrarily, presenting giving items and teaching link about things as challenges for link to overcome. rauru on the other hand aids link as best he can, tells him what he needs to do from the beginning (tells him to open the door which is pretty much the last thing he’ll need to do in the tutorial, telling him about the ultimate goal from the beginning), proposes solutions when it doesn’t work out (directs him to the shrines as a way to help him gain the strength he needs, as opposed to making him complete challenges to get a paraglider that in the moment seems like literally arbitrary conditions). rhoam telling link how much responsibility and pressure he has on him all of a sudden and how much he needs to do vs rauru telling link that it was wonderful to meet him and zelda’s accounts of him were all true. like. the framing. the difference in character. the deterioration of knowledge within hyrule falls parallel to the deterioration of its king’s kindness and virtue.

the differences between rauru and roham are crazy to me because one of them was so fundamentally good and one was so fundamentally flawed and yet. neither of them were able to save their kingdom. no matter how good a king of hyrule is, no matter what he gets right or wrong, he is still doomed to die. rhoam tried to sacrifice his daughter to keep hyrule alive. rauru did everything in his power to make sure she DIDNT have to be sacrificed. and in the end the outcome was the same. but the KINGS were not the same, and that difference in framing you mentioned i think is fundamentally a difference in legacy. rhoams legacy is to forever be the king who sacrificed children to save himself and died anyway. rhoam died a loser through and through, a king atop a throne of nothing but failure. i think that’s partially why he appears as an old man at first, because he KNOWS what being the king of hyrule means and he’s EMBARRASSED that his legacy is what it is. but rauru. in complete contrast, rauru was so GOOD. rauru died with his sages and his DAUGHTER alive to see another day. rauru ENSURED they’d live no matter what. he wouldn’t LET them sacrifice themselves for him. rauru put everyone else before himself. he didn’t expect or even tolerate self-sacrifice and yet when the time came he sacrificed HIMSELF selflessly despite knowing that it wouldn’t even WORK. rauru’s legacy is something to be proud of. he’s open to link because he has nothing TO hide. no regrets or stupid decisions. and he is remembered so much more favorably because of it.

[kiki-shortsnout]

For intimacy prompts: #36 being pushed against a wall for Frostironstrange! 💚❤️💙

I might have cheated a little and made it a door....

***

Jealousy wasn’t an emotion Stephen had much experience with. He’d been top of his field when he’d been a doctor, a pioneer, a trailblazer, he was the one people regarded with envy. Even in his romantic life, jealousy wasn’t an emotion he’d fallen victim to, never having formed a lasting attachment to another person.

He knew the root of the emotion stemmed from a feeling of insecurity, that the best thing he could do was turn his gaze inward and think about his own personal growth, to address his feelings of low self-esteem.

This…didn’t feel like feelings of low self-esteem. It felt like a coiled ball of barbed wire and razor blades sitting in his stomach, strangling the life out of him every time he saw them together.

The words on the page wavered as his eyes went unfocused, his ears straining to hear sounds of them whispering, torturing himself further by hearing fragments of their conversation, his mind filling in the blanks.

Why couldn’t it have been me?

Stephen had fallen in love with Tony first. He’d agonized over that, spent countless nights thinking about the reason why, if the rationale behind his jealousy was born from some adolescent feeling such as, I saw him first so therefore he’s mine, but that wasn’t it.

A bond had formed between them when fighting Thanos, a trust that Stephen seldom found in others. He knew Tony, probably better than anyone else in the world after his little exploration of millions of possible outcomes, but that wasn’t what made him fall in love.

It was the man’s determination, his courage, his sarcasm, all wrapped up in an appealing aesthetic package that was Tony Stark. He had been willing to sacrifice himself for the world, just as Stephen had sacrificed countless lives in the Dark Dimension, and at that moment against Thanos, Stephen knew he’d found someone in this huge, boundless universe who could understand him.

He looked up at that moment, staring at Tony across the gloomy Sanctum library. His legs were folded beneath him on the armchair, his elbow on the desk as he rested his head on it, idly swiping through his Starkpad as he worked.

Stephen hadn’t been able to let him die, had used every possible resource he possessed and those around him to save his life. He hadn’t even known Tony that long, but he had still sobbed alongside Rhodey and Pepper as Tony finally inhaled a lungful of battle charred air after excruciating seconds of being dead.

Sensing Stephen’s stare, Tony glanced up, giving him a gorgeous smile, the type that sent euphoric sensations squirming through his stomach. Ignoring Tony’s mouthed question asking him if he was okay, Stephen turned back to his book.

He’d never understood what it meant to love someone until the moment he’d lost Tony. Despite already witnessing millions of potential lifetimes, ignoring millions more, Stephen still wanted to remain by Tony’s side, as a friend, a lover, whatever capacity he was allowed as long as he could be part of the man’s life.

‘What’s got your attention, Anthony? I’m over here.’

Then Loki had happened.

The trickster had faked his death at Thanos’s hand. Not for his own personal gain this time, it was the only way he could save Thor and Bruce, ensure that Thanos would leave whatever Asgardians he hadn’t slaughtered alone. Stephen had doubted Loki’s intentions were as honorable as that, believe a large part of his actions were to save his own hide, but he wasn’t made of stone, despite how he was perceived, and Thor begging him to help find his brother hadn’t fallen on deaf ears.

It was Tony asking him to help bring Loki home, to give him the second chance they’d all had at some point in their lives, that swayed Stephen into action. The man didn’t even know about his repressed feelings, and even then, he was powerless to Tony’s wishes.

‘Lokes, I can barely concentrate as it is when you’re near me,’ Tony flirted.

He ripped the corner of the page from the tightness of his grip.

Stephen couldn’t actually put a finger on the exact moment where his feelings for the God of Mischief had changed from irritation to begrudging respect.

And then into complex complicated feelings of their own.

But he’d known when Loki’s and Tony’s relationship had changed, had seen the way both of them looked at the other, the swollen lips after they returned from meetings.

‘Stephen? Everything alright?’ Tony asked, destroying the painful recollections, making him look up at them both. They were trying to hide their relationship from him, and he wasn’t sure why.

I’m not important enough to know.

‘Yup,’ Stephen snapped, slamming his book shut and throwing it onto the desk between them.

‘Usually, you only look like that after I have spoken to you,’ Loki teased, placing both hands flat on the desk and leaning forward, goading him. That was their relationship, provoking each other, encouraging character growth through spite and teasing.

Today it felt like salt was scouring the wounds on Stephen’s soul.

He needed to control these feelings, these emotions. He’d already convinced himself that he was content with being Tony’s friend, that whatever stirrings of interest he had towards Loki had to be his libido talking. Tony Stark deserved whatever happiness he could find, and Stephen was the biggest advocate for it.

‘No, you’re not, honey.’

Stephen flinched in his chair as he looked up, Tony directly in front of him, his hand reaching out. The way his eyes had become soft and tender with worry for him made Stephen want to weep, to launch himself forward into his arms and speak his deepest desires.

They already have each other. There isn’t room for you.

He batted Tony’s hand away, ignoring the way the man flinched even as a wash of shamed nausea crept over him.

What are you expecting, Strange? That they’ll include you? That Tony will leave Loki for you? Normal people don’t have two partners.

‘Hey, it’s okay…I didn’t mean to scare you, we can leave if you’ve got things on your mind,’ Tony reassured, taking a step back.

‘Nothing’s on my mind,’ Stephen answered straight away, his voice coming out too loud and panicked. He saw Loki’s eyebrow raise in question, the Asgardian looking between them both, analyzing.

Shit.

‘Stephen, something’s obviously wrong, and I don’t think it’s because you don’t understand…’ Tony paused, tilting his head so he could try and read the title of Stephen’s book. ‘Yeah…I don’t know what you’re reading. Look, if it’s something I did don’t be shy,’ Tony told him with a playful grin, but Stephen knew what was behind it, the insecurity he hid behind those smiles.

‘No! It’s nothing you’ve done,’ Stephen lurched forward to grasp Tony’s elbows before remembering who else was with them. Immediately he let go, shoving his chair back with the force he used to escape. Cursing his treacherous body, his gaze went to Loki who was watching the whole thing unfold with shrewd eyes.

‘Come on, asshole, what is it? I’m not a mind reader you know.’

‘No, but I am. I have a glorious feeling this is going to be fascinating,’ Loki’s silky voice wrapped around them both, his fingers lit up with his magic.

He can’t find out.

‘Leave me alone…’ he spat, his hands readying themselves to create a portal as he leapt to his feet. ‘You can’t be serious?’

‘Deadly,’ Loki growled, extending his fingers with a snap, his emerald magic twisting forward and nullifying the portal Stephen had been trying to create.

I need to get out of here.

‘What? What’s going on? Loki, stop it don’t-’ Tony yelped as Stephen launched himself into a run, barreling him over in his haste to escape. Loki gave chase, both of them scrabbling against the wooden floor as they sprinted to the door.

Tony can’t know. Neither of them can know.

Stephen ignored Tony’s frantic shouts for them to stop, the burn in his lungs as he ran, the pain in his shoulders as he collided with the bookcases. Books rained down on him, the library around him fading to one, singular point.

Get to the door!

He could hear Loki hot on his heels, felt the tendrils of his magic trying to ensnare him, his snarls of frustration as Stephen ducked and weaved around the bookcases, no finesse to his movements, just a dogged determination to escape the situation.

Crying out in relief when he made it to the door first, he skidded to a halt when the Cloak billowed up, blocking the way, trapping Stephen inside.

‘They can’t find out! Move!’ Stephen hissed at the Cloak.

The Cloak shook its collar, spreading itself out so it appeared huge.

‘Please!’ Stephen pleaded, his voice cracking. ‘I’ll lose them both otherwise!’

‘What the hell is going on? Are we under attack?’ Feet pounded on the floor behind him, the sounds of his suit forming was audible even over Stephen’s pounding heart.

Think. Think!

Reaching forward to rip aside the Cloak, Stephen found himself slammed against the back of the door, a lithe muscled body pressed against him, and a hot mouth sealed over his. Despite wanting to moan into it, the electric current of unbridled lust surging inside of him, he didn’t stop fighting to escape.

He didn’t want to hurt Tony with his lustful feelings and burgeoning affection for his lover, didn’t want to damage their friendship. Then there was Loki, whose tales of cruelty had reached them all. Who knew what he would do to Stephen for coveting his lover? He would desecrate the feelings he held dear, spinning this into a story that they shared with other while in bed, their mocking laughter surrounding them.

‘Desist your struggles, Strange,’ Loki whispered when he stopped, leaving another scorching kiss on his lips as he held him still. ‘Your feelings are making you foolish. You know I cannot read minds, yet you crumbled under your fear and left your true self bare.’

Stephen strained against the hold, his head banging back against the heavy door, nails gripping the wood. Loki didn’t budge, his strength far exceeding Stephen’s, but he moved his hands to his forearms, allowing the blood to flow back into his damaged hands with a pained hiss.

‘Sorry,’ Loki murmured. ‘It is not my intent to-’

‘You already knew I had feelings for him,’ Stephen hissed, looking over Loki’s shoulder, trying to understand what the expression on Tony’s face was, memorizing the detail of him before he’d be no longer allowed to look.

I never wanted this to happen.

‘Yes, but I did not know of your attraction to me. Which makes this conversation so much simpler,’ Loki answered.

‘What conversation?’

‘You are not alone in your feelings, darling,’ Loki called over his shoulder, his sharp green gaze never leaving Stephen’s.

He slumped in Loki’s hold, hanging his head as shame burned his cheeks.

‘You’re not listening to my words, Stephen.’ Loki brought his head down to whisper in his ear, adjusting his grip so Stephen could rest against him, holding him instead of restraining him. Even with all of the panic making him light-headed, his chest flayed open for all to see, Stephen still took the time to breathe in Loki’s scent, the unique alienness of it.

‘Stephen? Is Loki right? Do you…have feelings for me?’ Tony asked, his voice wavering in bewilderment.

Rubbing his head against Loki’s shoulder for a moment, Stephen took a huge, quivering breath before he drew back, trying to find his courage.

‘No, Loki’s voice rumbled through his chest, oscillating through to Stephen’s skin. ‘It isn’t just lust you have for me. You hold feelings for us both.’

‘Stephen?’

‘Yes. God, I’m sorry, I fell for you, months ago, Tony,’ Stephen sighed, not looking at him, staring at the glossy black hair brushing against Loki’s collarbone. ‘I knew you were together, thought I could be happy…No, I wanted to be happy for you-’

Stephen stumbled as Loki vanished from before him, flailing until he was caught by Tony’s smaller frame. He only had a second to figure out what had happened before he was being kissed again, a sharp whipcrack of shock drowning out any thoughts.

He retained enough sense to break apart, his gaze seeking out Loki, fearful of retribution. Loki’s façade cracked at his stare, relaxing into an expression he’d often seen him look at Tony with.

‘You were blinded by what you did not have, saw only what you wanted to see. You never realized that Anthony was watching you too, snatching gazes of you when you were preoccupied with your melancholy.’

Stephen looked down at Tony in his arms, his brown eyes blazing in that look of determination he’d fallen for.

‘Stephen, I…you too? I never thought…you never gave any indication of-’

Stephen silenced the words with a kiss, reaching up to cup Tony’s face with his hand, expressing everything he could through his actions, his longing, his repressed desire, his love. Their tears mingled together, seeping down to their lips, binding their kiss with suffering sweetness.

‘Idiots, the both of you,’ Loki said, wrapping his arms around them. ‘I know this type of relationship might not be considered… acceptable on Midgard, but I believe now that I know of your feelings, it would be wise to explore the possibilities.’

‘This, this isn’t normal though,’ Stephen mumbled against Tony’s lips, lifting his free hand so he could grip hold of Loki.

‘Who cares about normal? I’m Tony Stark, I do what I want,’ Tony asserted, kissing him soundly on the lips, before turning and kissing Loki’s jaw.

‘Ineloquent as always, but I believe this time the sentiment comes across nicely,’ Loki said, eyes closing as he accepted Tony’s bestowed kiss.

‘You both? How long?’

‘Since Thanos-’

‘Since you found me-’

They answered together. It was Loki who blushed though, uncertain how his own declaration would be taken.

‘I’ve known Tony longer, understood and accepted my feelings for him before I found you, but that doesn’t mean what I’m feeling towards you isn’t real, Loki,’ Stephen assured, his confidence growing, the earlier panic and fear dispelled by their touch.

Loki swallowed and nodded once, his grip tightening before he took a step back, gesturing at the Cloak to move aside.

‘I realize we’ve forced this confession from you, and if you would rather take some time to-’

‘Do you want to go on a date?’ Tony interrupted.

‘A date?’ Loki deadpanned.

‘A date? Like drinks? Food? Music? Somewhere we can get to…well not know each other better, but talk. About what this means for us?’ Tony encouraged, his gaze darting between them both.

‘Anthony. I do not think-’

‘A date sounds great,’ Stephen interrupted him this time, pressing his lips together to hide his amusement at Loki’s confusion, reaching down to take both their hands in his.

[secret-rendezvous1d]

“i need a hug”

hello, hi!

i definitely don’t think this is a one-off thing anymore and this blog may be on the way to merging into a harry styles + matthew gray gubler blog so i’d like to think that that is a new exciting venture people will . i’m really enjoying writing about a new scene, a new character and a new life to plan out and write about. the stories don’t essentially follow each other so they can be read anyhow and in any way but i’d like to think they all follow the same storyline/timeline so they link in that way.

like, reblog and give me some feedback. it’s greatly appreciated and it helps me work out what you want to see and what you are after. 

thank you. enjoy.

-

“i need a hug” spencer reid x female reader (reader insert imagine) word count; 1.7k.

summary; eventually, the emotions of working a case gets to yn and she needs an escape after a briefing in the form of her boyfriend, spencer.

-

There are moments in YN’s job as a secondary communications liaison that she loves.

She got to work alongside a team of agents who were funny and smart and trusting and kept her safe in situations out in the field and they brightened her mood whenever she felt a little down in the dumps from a long day, especially a case that was vigorous and vicious in its attacks; she got to work with a woman, who was a mother to the sweetest little boy she’d ever graced and held and loved in her life, who shared the same emotions as her when they read through case file after case file and took in some of the most heart-wrenching information from an unsub’s killing; she got to work in an office with her boyfriend, sitting opposite him as he worked on his reports or involuntarily played a game of Chess with whoever walked passed and saw a potential move, sharing secret glances and meeting in the kitchenette for a cuddle before work and Hotch had them back to their desks in a rush.

She loved her job and she loved what she did in the field.

Knowing she was saving lives and saving a town from a sadistic killer, protecting people from another unsolicited attack on the vulnerable and the innocent, putting someone behind bars because they deserved it. Feeling the sense of euphoria washing over her every time she managed to catch a killer, hairs raising when they finally admitted to what they’d done for years without ever getting caught, ending someone’s narcissistic trait because they could no longer show the ego they’d been growing by thinking they were subtle enough to hide from their crimes. The looks on the faces of the known unsub, when she bashed out fact after fact that they’d worked out by not only fishing on his background but by the evidence and the profile they gave to themselves with how and who they killed, made her feel proud to catch them; they could no longer do what they long to achieve.

But there were some moments of her job that she hated.

Having to read about the brutal killings of women her age or women who were tortured before they died was enough to have her head reeling in all kinds of situations and possibilities of it still happening somewhere in the world because they’d yet to find another serial killer to arrest, because these women had no safety in their death and they were tortured long before the incessant torturing came to an end; having to read over and see crime-scene pictures of innocent children and teenagers who had died in the crossfire of a criminal’s poor psychological behaviour, where they never thought about the consequences, and never had an inch of remorse or sympathy running through their veins because they were never given the love and the compassion from a parent as they grew older; having to read such heartbreaking backstories on why someone had turned from the purest of children to such a evil person who forced a vendetta upon anyone that passed them or did them wrong and learning that broken families weren’t always so well worked out.

“You can show emotion on the job, you know? You don’t have to hide behind a coffee cup,” Spencer suggested, standing beside YN as she leaned against the kitchenette counter, a warm mug of steaming coffee in her hands and held to her lips as if she were taking a lengthy sip. Partly so the rim could cover her eyes, because she was sure tears would escape any given minute, and partly so she could keep her hands warm on the chilly day it was outside. He followed her as soon as she left the briefing room, a wave of concern swallowing him as he watched her rush down the stairs and disappear, a finger swiping her cheek that she assumed went ignored. “You don’t think I’ve seen any of the team shed a tear over something brutal?”

“Rule number one, Spence; no crying on the job. Hotch’s suggestion,” she hummed, looking in the direction of the briefing room and seeing everyone packing up their belongings from the table and carrying their own case files under their arms as they walked back to their desks to prep for whenever the wheels were due up on the jet, “it never gets any easier, no matter how many times I give those briefings and read the notes and see the photos.”

By it, he assumed, was coming into a room full of people who were waiting for what next dreadful thing had come their way and having to speak about a murder that she had to think about, in depth, in order to gain some understanding as to what direction she needed to take the briefing into, so she could explain exactly what they were expecting to do upon their arrival to the scene, reliving the killings in her head like it was something she saw with her own eyes. That, alone, was enough to drive someone off a job that they loved if it was something they had to speak about on a daily basis, thinking about death as soon as they stepped foot out of their front door in the morning.

“Kids, Spencer. I can just about cope with the cases on murdered prostitutes and the drug addicts and the sex workers but kids,” she sighed in diselief and looked at him with forlorn eyes and felt her bottom lip quiver behind the white ceramic resting against her mouth, “there are children going missing every day and there’s someone doing that to them. A grown adult. Someone walks the street with the purpose of taking children from their families like they could treat them any better.”

Spencer ignored all protocol of ‘romance in the workplace’ and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to his side and nuzzling his nose into her hairline, the baby hairs growing beneath her fringe tickling her nostrils but the smell of her shampoo made it all the much better; strawberry-scented and sweet and it smelt like home. Home was the smell of strawberry, the presence of his girlfriend and a bubble that only they were in. His palm resting on the curve of her shoulder, fingers rubbing up and down on the bare skin of her upper arm showing from the short-sleeved blouse she wore to work that day, lips pressed against her temple in a reassuring manner. He could feel the eyes of Prentiss and JJ watching them, no doubt cooing and guffawing over the sweet sight they rarely saw, but he chose to ignore them and instead let his cheeks flush a hot pink. Let them stare; he felt content and that’s all that mattered in the moment.

“Working a case and having a good outcome is great. To see that child when we solve the case, albeit seeing them beaten and dirty and naivety, it feels amazing to know they’re reunited with those who vow to keep them safe from that moment on and who never stopped looking for them, not an inch of hope given up,” YN sighed, tilting her head to the touch of his lips and closing her eyes, content with the bubble they’d blown around themselves in that moment, his eyes soft and scanning her features, “I don’t know how you throw yourself into it and not struggle with the aftermath or the before of it all.”

The silence lingered in the kitchenette and, even though there was a sense of being watched, neither of them cared. One day or another, Spencer knew there would be a specific case that tore his girlfriend to the ground and made her show her true feelings towards something she was expected to work on, a case that made her struggle to contain her emotions and that one day had come, much quicker than he expected but he knew it was . All he needed to do was reassure her that, no matter what happens, they’d do the best they can in situations that should have them panicked.

“I question that myself sometimes,” he admitted. Inhaling deeply, he got a proper scent of the coffee wafting from the cup still held into her hands, before he breathed out a sigh and felt a little weight lift from his shoulders. “You’ll be okay. You help us out more than you think you do in cases that mean a lot more to you.”

“Do I?”

“Of course,” he craned his body away from her so he could look down and give her the sweetest, warmest smile he could muster up, “I always feel so proud of you when you give us a huge lead over something we missed. Especially the leads that take us to the right place. They call me the genius but you,” he tapped her on the nose with his index finger and grinned, “you can be the genius better than me sometimes.”

She blushed and looked down at the milky contents of her coffee, the steam hitting her face and adding the heat of her face, a sheepish smile permanent on her lips that she tried to hide as she took a sip and swallowed the hot liquid and allowed it to burn her throat. Burning in a warming way rather than just to hurt herself.

“C’mon, wheels for the jet go up in thirty. I need to pack my desk up and you need to grab your go-bag,” he reminded her, pulling away from her and removing his arm from around her shoulders, taking a step towards the doorway and turning his back to her, “try not to let the briefing bother you until we touch ground. We’re not there yet so we can’t base any confirmations for anything on anything.”

He could hear her chug the rest of the coffee from her mug, shaking his head in disbelief because now she was bound to be bouncing off the walls in a tight-spaced jet for over an hour, making a mental note to keep her off the coffee on the plane and to have her drinking water. His hand touched the door handle and, as he pushed his weight down to open the door, she spoke up and gathered his attention.

“I need a hug,” she said before he left the room, Spencer spinning around on his heels to look at her, a coffee-stained mustache clinging to her upper lip that her tongue peeked out to collect and a bright spark behind her eyes, “before we get plunged into work and we can’t show romance or anything, I just- I need a hug.”

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Who owns the covid vaccines?

A key idea from sf is “all laws are local, and no law knows how local it is.” Prisoners of our own time and place, it’s hard not to feel like we’re living in the only possible world, is if everything around us is inevitable and natural — and any change is “unnatural.”

But anyone who’s ever dabbled in multi-agent modeling (sims where “individuals” each have their own goals and aversions) knows there are lots of stable configurations that a big, complex system can fall into, and re-rerunning the same sim produces wildly different outcomes.

14 months ago, we hit STOP on our big, complex system and now the US is about to hit START again. It will not be a return to “normalcy,” because the old normal wasn’t inevitable. There are lots of other ways we could get along. And frankly, the old normal sucked.

A key way in which Old Normal sucked was the way that monopolists were able to style themselves as heroic entrepreneurs whose great rewards were commensurate with their great risks — when in reality, the risks were always socialized and only the gains were privatized.

That’s an area where a new normal is long overdue, and that new normal is being born in the controversy over public access to covid vaccines.

Helping the poor world manufacture its own vaccines is the obvious right thing to do.

Not just because vaccine apartheid is slow genocide, but also because the longer billions of people are infected, the greater the chance that one of them will incubate a vaccine-resistant, even more deadly mutation.

MRNA vaccines are wild: compared to conventional vaccines, they can be manufactured with 99.7% less capital and 99.9% less physical plant, and mRNA production facilities can retool to make new vaccines 1,000% faster.

https://coronavirus.medium.com/manufacturing-mrna-vaccines-is-surprisingly-straightforward-despite-what-bill-gates-thinks-222cffb686ee

Moderna’s own assessment is that new mRNA facilities can be built in 3–4 months. There’s no good scientific or humanitarian reason to object to patent- and know-how transfer to the Global South, where vaccination is currently projected for 2023/4 (!).

https://apnews.com/article/drug-companies-called-share-vaccine-info-22d92afbc3ea9ed519be007f8887bcf6

We’ve just experienced the collapse of the racist lie — peddled by Big Pharma, Bill Gates, Howard Dean and other vaccine apartheid apologists — that poor brown people are too primitive to make vaccines.

The new talking point? “CHINA! CHINA! CHINA!”

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/15/how-to-rob-a-bank/#roll-the-dice

Whether it’s racist lies about the Global South or New Cold War hysteria, the underlying ideological story is the same: exclusive patent rights and the (spectacular) profits they yield are the foundation of lifesaving medical innovation.

That is, fate has placed among us a tiny cohort of collosi, endowed with the superpower of inventing the future. But for all their creative might, these saviors-in-potentia have the fragile temperaments of toddlers, and if they’re denied their due, they’ll abandon us to die.

“Behind every great fortune lies a great crime.” The true mRNA vaccines theft isn’t entrepreneur-inventors who face robbery by the public sector — rather, those “entrepreneurs” have enjoyed billions in public subsidies, and now insist they owe nothing in return.

So much public investment went into the covid vaccines that it’s hard to account for it all. The GAO thinks that Uncle Sam coughed up $18–23b in direct subsidies. BARDA pumped in $19.3b.

https://www.healthaffairs.org/do/10.1377/hblog20210512.191448/full/

The USG picked up the tab for non-clinical studies of new covid vaccines ($900m), and also shelled out for Phase III trials ($2.7b).

Moderna got $53m for production capacity, part of $100m in direct capacity contracts to pharma, backed with $2.7b for contract manufacturers.

J&J got a $1b pre-order from the USG; Moderna got $4.95b, Pfizer (which touts its lack of public subsidy!) got a $5.97b guaranteed order.

That’s just the latest round of investment. BARDA has been backing mRNA vaccine research for years, pumping billions into the project.

Pharma’s claim that it doesn’t owe us anything in return makes no sense, even by the companies’ own logic. They say that markets produce wonders because they reward canny risk-taking with vast fortunes.

By that logic, the public — who assumed the majority of the risk in developing vaccines — are the angel investors in this high-tech unicorn, and the pharma companies are the VCs who came in with some late capital to help scale up a sure thing.

It’s neither good business — nor legal — for early minority investors get squeezed out by latecomers.

But, of course, the government isn’t a business. Our democratic institutions direct our national productive capacity to R&D in service to human thriving, not profit.

Public investment in R&D isn’t a business in the same way that having kids isn’t a retirement plan: we have kids because we love them and want them to thrive. If they care for us in our dotage, that’s great, but if you treat your kid as an ambulatory 401k, you’re a monster.

I first encountered these ideas when serving as an NGO rep at WIPO alongside Jamie Love and Knowledge Ecology International. Love helped create the Access to Medicines Treaty and has been fighting the pharma industry’s self-serving story of fragile genius for decades.

In an interview with Janine Jackson at FAIR, Love lays out the plain case for an IP-waiver to enable poor countries to make their own vaccines, like the undeniable truth that this would “definitely expand the production and supply of vaccines.”

https://fair.org/home/government-money-thats-gone-into-vaccine-development-is-being-privatized-by-a-handful-of-companies/

Love also recounts the kind of public subsidy that went into covid vaccine production (for example, Pfizer’s boasts of free enterprise entrepreneurship omits the €400m from Germany and €100m from the rest of the EU).

Pharma’s claims of philanthropic largesse are wildly overblown. Pfizer told its shareholders it expects $26b from covid vaccines in 2021; Moderna’s projecting $20b (Moderna’s CEO’s personal net worth just hit $5b).

All that before pharma companies jack up the prices for “their” vaccines, in the years to come when we all need annual boosters, when the price will go from $10 to $175/dose, for a vaccine that costs $0.10/dose to manufacture.

The case for public access to vaccines and the case against pharma as a necessary or even laudable force for good is so thin, it’s remarkable that it’s persisted this long.

But as Love points out, the ideology that knowledge-monopolies are moral has some powerful backers.

Bill Gates is a prime example. Gates has been committed to enclosing commonly created knowledge and turning it into a monopoly — in service to coaxing our toddler-genius-collosi into action — since he was a teenager, writing petulant letters to computer hobbyists.

Today, Gates — a convicted monopolist — directs one of the world’s great fortunes (“behind every great fortune…”), and he mobilizes his capital to prop up the story of necessary and benevolent profiteering.

The Gates Foundation, for example, donates millions to “independent” media outlets (as well as partnering with public media like the BBC), and as Love describes, this has a chilling effect on negative reporting on Gates, the Foundation, and its ideology.

Like the time Love got a Washington Monthly reporter interested in a critical story about how the Gates Foundation’s grants influence its media coverage — only to have the reporter’s editor kill the story because they’d just applied for one of those grants (!).

Gates is a true ideologue, a relentless campaigner against any public access to public goods, in every domain, not just software. He’s been at it a long time, leading the charge against Nelson Mandela’s demand that South Africa be allowed to manufacture its own AIDS drugs.

Love: “Gates is a smart guy; he’s not the only smart guy around or smart woman around. I think people need to listen to other views. And, actually, Gates has sort of a mental block about these issues, and so some of his arguments just don’t add up.”

But all laws are local, and multi-agent systems have many stable configurations. On Friday, the New York Times editorial board — long a voice for strong corporate power — published an editorial and accompanying package strongly endorsing vaccine waivers.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/opinion/biden-covid-vaccines-world-india.html

The Times notes that the global economy is losing trillions due to lockdown, and that these loses will mount for so long as vaccines aren’t universally available.

But it also makes an ethical case, calling vaccine apartheid a “moral failure.”

It warns of political instability and the potential for states to topple if something isn’t done, pointing to the pitched battles in Colombia (in which death squads are now murdering leftists with impunity and posting snuff videos to social media as a boast — and a warning).

Beyond advocating for vaccine waivers, the Times backs Public Citizen’s plan to spend $25b ramping up domestic, publicly owned vaccine production facilities to make vaccines to be given away free or at cost to poor countries.

https://www.citizen.org/article/25-billion-to-vaccinate-the-world/

That effort will produce 8b vaccine doses, “enough to vaccinate half the planet.” And it will provide booster shots and new anti-variant vaccines into the future.

The future is coming. Lockdowns are lifting. The rich world is inching toward an emergence from emergency. But normalcy isn’t returning — thank goodness. The whole world deserves (and requires) so much better than normal.

Image: Quapan (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/hinkelstone/49920420853

CC BY https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

[deijnar]

The only one who makes me nervous

Incredible but true - I wrote something! And am posting it!

This is my piece for the great @mysme-rbb and I got to collaborate with @braincellbank, definitely check their artwork out! The CMC used in this is theirs ^-^

You can also find the fic on Ao3!

So here goes a lot of fluffy, cute Jaehee pining~

╰⊱♥⊱╮●╭⊱♥≺

With suspicion, Jaehee squints her eyes at the ingredients on the countertop of her and Lila's brand new cafe. After months of preparation and an almost breakdown when she asked them to become her partner for this adventure, Jaehee's dream finally comes true - a cute, domestic yet elegant cafe that she owns with her best friend.

But…

"There was more chocolate."

Lila's eyes widen and they furrow their eyebrows, looking at the potential crime scene as well. "Huh? What do you mean?" They check the scale. "It's the exact amount we need for the recipe."

Jaehee shakes her head, looking at the pieces in the bowl. "I could have sworn I put more in there…"

"You're probably just nervous! We're about to bake our very first cake for the cafe, isn't it exciting?" 

The way they beam at Jaehee makes her chest feel warm and her knees go a little weak, causing Jaehee to forget what she was just thinking about entirely.

"That must be it, I'm sure you're right. This is what I've dreamed of for a very long time, I feel all… fluttery inside." To hide her soft chuckle, Jaehee turns her head away a little and shields her mouth with one of her hands. Showing emotion is still… foreign to her and she is still shy about it.

Lila clicks their tongue in disapproval. "Now come over here and let me see that stunning face of yours, we have work to do! I'm all excited for this too but I'm waiting for the proper view." Demanding, they motion to the space across from them, followed by a little wink.

As all of Lila's teasing does, their comment makes Jaehee's heart hiccup in her chest, a too familiar heat already painting her cheeks in a soft blush. There’s only one way to deal with them when they get like that…

Speaking Korean, especially if the sentences are long and spoken fast, is the only way for Jaehee to feel like she is still somewhat in control when she is around Lila. Given that Korean is not their first language and they’re still learning, they tend to get really sheepish when they don’t understand something. And, for Jaehee, it’s the only weapon she has to not let Lila’s boldness knock her out. 

Normally, she speaks English around them or slow, easy Korean. But not in moments like this.

“If only you knew what you’re doing to me with such behavior…” 

Jaehee keeps her voice low and talks fast, even a fluent speaker would have had trouble to understand her.

“What was that?” The cocky grin on their face immediately shrinks to a shy expression and Jaehee can’t help but feel a little guilty, although relieved. 

Of course she hates it to make her friend feel insecure, she wants to make them feel just as strong and support them just as much as they do for her. But sometimes she has to do this, only to not combust due to the hidden feelings in her heart.

“Oh, nothing. Let’s start baking.” With a somewhat apologetic smile, she walks up to Lila and stands on the other side of the countertop, looking at the instructions in front of her. Now, she has to fire Lila’s confidence in themself again. “How about you start with the dough while I try out these decorations? Your doughs always turn out amazing.” The proud gleam in Lila’s eyes that Jaehee likes to see so much is back immediately. “They do indeed. What are you making?” Curiously, they get to their tiptoes, trying to get a peek of the picture she is holding. “Some flowers.” Calculating, she leans her head to the side, inspecting the pictures as well, lowering the piece of paper so it's easier for Lila to see. “I’ve never tried to make these before but I wanted to set myself a challenge. Hopefully, they’ll turn out fine.” “I’m sure they’ll turn out perfect. Like you.” One of Lila’s hands lands on Jaehee’s cheek, presumably for encouragement, and Jaehee can practically feel their chuckle as she straightens as if the touch burned her skin. Which it really seems to do, given how hot she feels all of a sudden. “Y-yes. I… Maybe. Yes, I’ll do my best.”

Not knowing what else she could possibly say that wouldn’t give away how fast her heart is beating, Jaehee gets to work. She presses her lips together and tries to ignore Lila’s gaze she can clearly feel on herself as she begins to knead and color the fondant. 

Luckily, Lila decides to be merciful and not make any more comments that get Jaehee out of her concentration, maybe so they can get to work as well. 

It doesn’t take the young woman long to forget everything around herself as she fully focuses on the task at hand. She gets lost in the thrill of trying new, challenging things and the rewarding feeling when an experiment with one of her utensils works out, giving the flowers as they are described in the instructions her own twist. One petal after the next is formed and, after some time, Jaehee finds a routine, the activity having a quite calming and almost meditative effect on her. 

Her thoughts wander.

And, as they do so very often, they wander to the wonderful person standing in front of her right now. 

It’s been a few months since they’ve met, got to know each other and even ended up as close as they are right now. Not much, in Jaehee’s opinion, and yet she can barely recall a time where Lila hasn’t been in her life, much less can or does she want to imagine a future without them. They have saved her from her monotone, stressful life that never would have gained her any kind of happiness and turned it upside down. They have turned it into an unpredictable, exciting adventure, the only goal being to chase their dreams and find joy. Together.

Never again does Jaehee want to be without Lila’s stirring presence that doesn’t only bring spice but also light into her life.

Of course it hadn’t been easy for Jaehee to admit to herself that she’d fallen in love. Of course she had been scared of rejection, of the possible heartbreak. Of the risks that come with loving someone so deeply, even after such a short period of time, only falling deeper for their captivating soul more and more with every passing day. 

But no matter how strong her fears had been, by that, they only became the evidence for her feelings for Lila. And finally, after multiple sleepless nights, Jaehee had not only faced the truth that she’s helplessly lost her heart to the best friend she’s ever had, she also came to the conclusion that all of this turmoil is worth it. That the nagging fear is nothing compared to the exciting tingle that runs from the center of her stomach through her entire body as soon as Lila walks into the room. That a possible heartbreak is a price she is willing to pay, as long as she gets to feel the way she does for a little while longer every time Lila smiles at her, only her.

And now, they’re working together, they’re partners. Maybe they’ll never be more than that, friends and partners, but Jaehee knows that, at least, they will always be together. Even if she should slip one day - Lila won’t just leave her for the way she feels. In that, Jaehee trusts unconditionally. In Lila, she trusts unconditionally.

Before she knows it, she’s used up the last bit of fondant, has created the last flower for the day. Proudly, Jaehee looks down at the decorations in front of her, all kinds of blossoms in many different colors, shades and sizes spreading out on the table. 

"I did it!" The excitement in her voice is very clear and maybe, normally, she would try to conceal it to keep her countenance. But right now, she's way too happy and feels way too safe and comfortable with Lila to even care.

"I knew it!" There's some flour on Lila's cheek as they grin at Jaehee. "I told you they'll look perfect. You did it!"

Far from sick of looking at her own creations, Jaehee smiles down at the sugary decoration in front of her again. Then, she turns her head up to look at Lila again, unaware of the fact that her friend had just started leaning forward to peck her cheek. 

Lila's lips land on the corner of Jaehee's mouth and she freezes. Time seems to stop and so does her heartbeat.

As to be expected, Lila isn't fazed by it at all. On the contrary, they seem to enjoy it quite a lot judging by the amused grin on their face and the fact that they stay much closer than they'd need to. They're not even saying anything and yet Jaehee feels like she will be reduced to an inarticulate, blushy mess in mere seconds. 

There’s nothing she can do but pointedly look to the side to stop her brain from short-circuiting. No matter how much she wants to look at her stunning friend, she can’t, knowing that, if she would, she couldn't rip her eyes off the lips she so badly wants to feel on hers.

And at that moment, there's just one thing Jaehee can do.

"While investing in the stock market, it's very important to maximize the possible outcome for your transaction while simultaneously minimizing the risk you take."

Although she's speaking her native tongue, Jaehee stumbles over her own words with how quickly she is saying them. Also, she's not even sure if what she just said actually makes sense.

Yet, the words have the effect she was desperately hoping for - Lila softly shakes their head, the threateningly teasing expression on their face making way for utter confusion as they subconsciously draw back a few inches.

Jaehee hates it as much as it makes her feel relieved.

"What?"

"Nothing!" Quickly, Jaehee turns to face the table again, unnecessarily starting to sort the flowers still laying there by size. If she's confronted with that gorgeous face any longer, she won't be able to hold back anymore. "We should-"

Before she can bring up her suggestion to give the cake more layers than they'd originally planned, Lila gently places their hand on hers on the table between them. 

If she is honest to herself, Jaehee knows that she wants nothing to be between them anymore, to separate them.

At first, she still refuses to look at Lila. Even without getting lost in those lovely eyes of the person that saved her from the miserable life she has been living - the speed of her heartbeat is already concerning. 

But the light caress of their soft fingers on her skin makes her slowly, carefully, look up at them again, bringing her even closer to the figure she wants to embrace and never let go. 

She really wants the piece of furniture gone.

"Do I truly make you this nervous?"

Lila's voice is low and raw, not hiding the emotions behind their words. They sound surprisingly hopeful and… a little scared?

Not trusting her voice to do what she wants, Jaehee just nods. Shouldn't Lila know about the effect they have on her? With how much they've been playing around with it, Jaehee has been convinced they know.

But Lila shakes their head.

"I mean, is it me who makes you nervous? Or is it the flirting, the teasing? Would you get flustered by anyone acting like this?"

Trying to calm down her rapidly beating heart, Jaehee shakes her head. She swallows, wanting her words to be audible and the truth in them to be apparent. 

"I get flustered because it's you, Lila. It's not just the teasing. Everything you do makes me nervous somehow. But at the same time, you're the only person that can truly calm me down."

As to prove her statement, she nervously averts her gaze. She doesn't know much about friendship and how it works, she's worried she's said too much. And Lila is so close… Concentrating is impossible.

Time seems to be standing still. 

This may be because Lila stands still, a thing they usually never do. It makes Jaehee feel a bit uneasy, she isn't sure what to think of this or what to expect, it's so atypical for her friend.

Her thoughts keep running, trying to figure out what exactly is happening right now and how to act further. Eventually, after not finding any satisfying answer, Jaehee decides to slowly turn her head back to look at Lila again. 

The intensity in Lila's eyes keeps her in place as soon as their gazes lock. Now both of them seem to be frozen in time, just staring at each other.

(by @braincellbank​)

Jaehee has no idea what this means or what step should be taken next, let alone by whom. She just knows that she doesn't want to look away.

When Lila finally moves, it happens suddenly and fast. 

Jaehee's eyes widen when they suddenly jerk forward, and they widen even more as Lila presses their lips to hers.

It takes Jaehee's brain a moment to catch up to what's happening, to understand it. To understand that this is real, that what she's secretly dreamed of and fantasized about for weeks and months truly is happening, right here and now.

But as soon as it sinks in, her eyes flutter closed and her free hand, the one Lila isn't touching, finds their cheek.

The kiss feels like heaven.

Soon, Lila relaxes into Jaehee's touch and the frantic, nervous hectic of the firm pressing of their lips shifts into a soft, loving exploration.

In no time, Jaehee is entirely captivated, forgetting that the world exists around them and even if she would remember, she wouldn't care. All she cares about is Lila. 

Lila's touch, their warmth, their scent. The fact that this kiss feels even better than she could have ever imagined it. 

Her heart beats so fast it seems like it's trying to fly out of her chest to catapult itself into the sky to rejoice.

And Lila's lips taste so sweet…

Too sweet.

With a gasp, Jaehee breaks the kiss.

"You did snack on the chocolate! I knew it!"

Throwing their head back, Lila laughs, their earlier stillness nowhere to be found anymore. Their smile is just as wide as Jaehee's and they look just as happy as her.

Jaehee couldn't care less about the chocolate.

"Guess you've caught me." Another sly smile makes it to their lips. "Guess I'll have to make up for it…"

A quiet, displeased noise slips over Jaehee's lips as Lila draws back. But soon, they've made their way around the table and Jaehee finds herself in their arms, embracing them as well on instinct. 

"I don't think I want to bake anymore today." 

They're both grinning at each other before their lips meet in another kiss.

[murdereraisuha]

Final Chapter 5 Reflection

This will have my personal opinion/thoughts on:

The VDC outcome, Rook’s actions, and what could’ve made it better

The Rook reveal and Neige

Kalim, Jamil, and Epel’s development

The Grim scene

Total word count: 2134 words

--- 1 ---

So, RSA won the VDC. My feelings on this are mixed.

Looking at it in relation to the whole plot of TWST, it makes sense. It moves the chance for NRC to finally beat RSA to the upcoming magift tournament, which gives NRC’s potential victory a large amount of excitement/importance which it wouldn’t get from this middle of the year championship.

Furthermore, Rook’s actions do make sense based on his personality. If Vil really didn’t believe that he himself was beautiful, Rook of course would vote for the team that exhibited pure joy in their performance and therefore exhibited a heartfelt beauty. It would be a lie to vote for NRC, and it would disgrace both Rook and Vil. Rook’s actions plot wise also lead to the discussion about Vil valuing himself vs seeking value from others, which I think is a crucial thing for Vil to remember. While trying to gain recognition for hard work is good, and Vil certainly does deserve recognition, it’s much more important to maintain a good perception of yourself even when things happen or people wrongfully say things that might tear down your self-esteem

However, I still have issues with how this played out in relation to the plot of chapter 5. It’s unrealistic for all of Vil’s misgivings about himself to get fixed through the power of friendship and beating each other up. But, still, the team went through a lot in order to get to the championship united and ready to perform. It feels like a slap in the face for them to lose after all that. Especially the scene with Kalim and Epel crying while Ya Hoo cheerfully plays in the background, it's so comically dissonant. Though we already got an explanation from Vil about how Neige’s performance appeals to viewers, I was still shocked. At least it was a close competition rather than a crushing defeat. 

Also, while Rook’s message was sound, the timing was rather bad. Vil and the rest of the team just had a massive battle and then went through a whole song & dance performance without major blunders while still injured. Focusing on Vil’s self-esteem there makes it seem like Rook is just brushing all that determination and effort away. Though Vil doesn’t seem to truly hold it against Rook since he offers the handkerchief back to Rook when he cries, the situation still feels off.

In conclusion, I think that the plot events made sense. However, the execution of them could have been improved. As is, it’s hard to understand Rook’s motivations in this part due to the ridiculousness of RSA’s kid’s song winning. To fix that without just completely overhauling the plot, I believe that the admirable qualities of Neige and the dwarves should have been shown more clearly. For example, while the Pomefiore CM shows a glimpse of their bond, that’s nonexistent in the game. I think that incorporating that into the game (ex. a short scene of Neige reassuring the dwarves that their performance will go well before they step on stage) would help people understand Rook’s point of view better by showing instead of just telling us about the belief Neige has in his friends.. 

Moreover, alongside better reasons for why Rook choose RSA, I think it should be clearer why he did not choose NRC. It seems an attempt at warning of the “betrayal” was done with Vil menacingly saying he’ll win the VDC during the voting, followed by the shot of Rook just going “........”.  To make this less sudden, I think I would change episode 66. Though that episode has Vil saying that he’s ugly, because the team contradicts him and keeps him as the leader it makes it seem like the problem is solved there. Therefore, to better lead to Rook’s speech, I would change episode 66 to have Vil show more hesitation and signs that he still doesn’t believe in himself. 

--- 2 ---

Anyway, on to the reveal about Rook. I wasn’t sure what to think about the name slip up during the previous part, but I just guessed that maybe they’d met before and that meeting is related to RSA and Rook having light magic. Nope, we get Neige simp Rook. I think this reveal was really surprising, but more in a funny way than a “ruins Rook’s character” way. It’s nice to see Rook seriously caught off guard by Neige just nonchalantly exposing him in front of everyone, and everyone’s reactions were extremely funny.

I think that the chapter did a decent job of making it clear that Rook’s relationship with Neige as a fan of him is vastly different from Rook’s calm admiration of and friendship with Vil. I’m kind of curious now about how and when Rook became a fan though. Him being the 2nd member of the fan club implies that Rook found Neige when Neige still hadn’t gotten much fame yet. 

I loved everyone’s Ya Hoo too. Ace and Jamil having level 0 enthusiam, Kalim and Rook having level 1000 enthusiasm, Deuce being startled but slowly getting into it but still being kind of eh, Epel just keeping that wide-eyed confused expression the whole time. ボーテ、１００点. For Vil, I understand that he was probably faking his big smile for the benefit of the audience. However, I still hope his opinion of Neige has improved somewhat or will improve. Neige telling Vil that he’s still number one in the eyes of the people who voted for him was really sweet and their interactions with each other are pretty cute/funny when Vil isn’t trying to murder him.

Unlike other minor characters like Chenya and Farena who either weren’t involved in the plot or were only involved as backstory, Neige is Vil’s present rival and motivation for doing the stuff he does and over blotting. With such a large presence that continued all throughout the chapter and the Rook reveal, it would seem strange for Neige to suddenly drop out of existence come chapter 6.

Therefore, assuming that the Grim situation doesn’t derail the current patterns we’ve seen in the story, I think that Neige will be included as part of the Pomefiore involvement in chapter 6. Of course, it could be something small like getting called in for a favor near the end or just mentions of Rook continuing to write him fan letters. However, I’m hoping it’s something larger. From my analysis of the previous part:

Vil’s team’s performance had a lot of cohesion and rehearsal put into it, but it was very competitive focused. On the other hand, Neige and the dwarves obviously had a lot of fun with their performance. However, it was clumsy and they were ill prepared. Therefore, Vil could teach Neige more discipline and planning while Neige could teach Vil about how to not lose sight of finding joy in your work. 

Now that we have confirmation that Neige is a genuinely nice guy, I really want Vil & Neige friendship to happen, or for them to at least be on good terms with each other. It might just be my personal love for relationships where one person tries to be all rival-y but then the other is like “nope, I’m going to friend you whether you like it or not,” but I think this sort of development in the story of TWST would be really enjoyable to watch.

--- 3 ---

For the performance of Absolutely Beautiful, I love that Jamil got to be in the center for a bit. However, that also just makes me more disappointed that we didn’t get more Scarabia or anything about how their families are watching this. With the stuff in 5-30 and 5-34 focusing on Kalim’s perspective on things and his relationship with Jamil, I thought that at some point we would get a final scene focusing on them and how they’ve developed since chapter 4. What we got with  Jamil swooping in to the rescue with the magic carpet then talking about how he could sense that Kalim was about to do something stupid was better than nothing, but idk. I just love the writing and complexity these two have gotten and I wanted that to continue to the end. I still have hope though! If we can get a thing about Leona noticing the traces of magic in the arena, then we can get future appearances from the Scarabia boys too!... please...

Now, for Epel, I also have mixed feelings about his development throughout the chapter. I absolutely loved the beach scene with Deuce and Epel, it was so cute and I liked Epel realizing the power of beauty because of the apple juice Magicam post. However, I think the narrative missed something important. Though Epel’s views had a lot of improvement to be made, Vil’s treatment of him was also terrible and should have been addressed. I believe Vil saying that “throwing a tantrum and taking it out on others was terrible of him” in episode 66 implies that he’s realized that all his actions, not just the overblot, were wrong. However, it’s not clear enough that that was the intention. Vil does not apologize specifically for how he attempted to force Epel to conform to his own beliefs. Though there’s always chapter 6, it still doesn’t seem like the story will ever really address this issue, which is a shame to say the least.

Furthermore, in this final part, Epel offering to take the center position was really good and showed how much he’s grown since the beginning of the chapter. However, it still didn’t bring the whole “poison apple” thing to fruition. Absolutely no one made any comment on his cuteness or how it might rival Neige’s cuteness. Did they plan something with that but scraped it? Like, this is way too little pay off for such a focus on Vil shaping Epel into a way to best Neige. My disappointment with this ending might have to do with these past 3 main story updates being the only ones I’ve been in this fandom for, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Whatever the cause of my disappointment may be, my disappointment still does exist.

--- 4 ---

To top off this roller coaster of a chapter and end this reflection with a more neutral analysis, we have the stuff with Mickey and Grim. Mickey seems really nice, I’m glad that Yuu seems to have made an ally in him. We certainly need one after whatever the hell just happened with Grim. I really have to give props for how unsettling both Grim’s appearance and the sounds during that scene were.

Though we’re obviously getting close to the endgame, the Ignihyde sneak peak that we got seems pretty normal and related to their personal problems rather than the plot. Though it would be interesting for a big change to happen like Yuu being out of commission for the chapter, I think it’s more likely that Yuu will be rescued, Grim just goes missing, then we don’t get much more info on that whole thing until the end of chapter 6 leading into chapter 7.

Anyway, for the scene itself I understand if it just because silent protagonist, don’t want to make them talk/do too much, but it feels kind of weird that there wasn’t really any indication of a struggle? Just standing there, staring at Grim, getting clawed, then black out. Nothing to indicate trying to step back. There was some weird clopping??? sound after he attacked but since the camera didn’t move that wasn’t Yuu collapsing.

Also, it might just be supposed to be “Grim’s laugh but creepy,” but his ケヒッ、 ケヒヒッ laughter sounds unusually distinctive? Idk, I just had the thought that it could be in reference to some other disney character with a similar laugh but idk who that would be since I’m not big into disney movies.

Right before he attacks, Grim also shouts “this is my stone!!!” Firstly, assuming that this stone is the same small size as the others, shouldn’t he already be done eating it? Yuu’s not exactly gonna stick their hand down his throat to retrieve it. So what stone is he talking about?

Well, we know that the magic crystal on the magic pens is supposed to collect blot so that it doesn’t built up inside someone, right? Blot accumulated from outright eating it instead of blot accumulated from casting magic is probably different, but what if some of the blot from the black stones did get gathered up by Grim’s crystal on his collar? We know how crazed he has been getting about the black stones. Is it so much of a stretch to think that he might be trying for more? That he might be trying to create instead of just find? 

How would a black magic crystal taste?

[minnieshark]

My theory on who could be behind the article in avsp (under the cut so no one gets spoiled and also bc it accidentally became an essay)

I think it's Ava/Simon, for multiple reasons. (I use Ava bc I'm too lazy to type more; it encompasses Simon as well)

1. MC pointed out that the article if full of information she had no way of knowing and in some cases even wondered how Hugo would've found out about certain details; Ava is the only one who could have known every detail for everything that was addressed in the article

2. Ava is the only one who knows about the book MC was planning to write. Hugo knew she was spying for information, maybe thought she was planning an article, but I don't think he knew much more. So unless Ava told anyone about the *fake* engagement, she's the only one who knows.

3. During her talk with her editor, MC finds out that it was sent from her official account which means that the culprit either had access to MC's Computer or remote access to the website. Regardless, the culprit would have needed one or more passwords and Ava is in a perfect position to obtain those passwords. MC obviously trusts her and has worked in front of her (i.e. library scene) and Ava could've either seen her type in the password, installed keystroke tracking software etc. (the mansion being hers she has easy access to all rooms, thus MC's computer and she looks young and tech savvy enough).

4. It's unlikely a multiple person job, it would take too much coordination in too little time (as Genevieve pointed out). The article was out incredibly fast and there is no way it could have been written this fast this detailed and well? It's more likely the article was a WIP updated whenever MC found out sth new

5. Ava has a fitting motive. She obviously wants the estaste and if MC betrayed her, she wouldn't be at fault for the failure of the relationship, her grandma wouldn't be able to blame it on her being irresponsible and it's unlikely they'd punish her by not giving her the mansion after this whole fiasco. However, all along the plan was for MC to break it off after her birthday and she still would've had the mansion, which leads me to her other potential motive:

6. Ava needed a way to not get the book published. Either it was her plan from the beginning, or she had the idea while their fake engagement unfolded. The book would've dug up a lot of dirt on the family and would've maybe ruined their public image. That's one thing, the other is that since MC would have published the book, everyone would have known it was her fiancee and with their breakup having been soon after her birthday, suspicion might have arisen.

7. Hugo is obviously still a suspect, considering the way he was behaving he either was in on it or knew something, but I definitely don't think it was his doing (what Genevieve said, plus he doesn't have access to MCs laptop, there's no way he would've been able to write an article this long this fast with this much information, some which is nearly impossible for him to know etc.)

Honestly I have no idea why Ava would do sth like that if she really ends up being the culprit, I don't want her to be it either, I love her too much. I also don't know how they would reconcile MC and Ava with the book being single LI and all. But she's the only one who I imagine could realistically have done this. Nigel could be a potential suspect, but he has nothing to gain from this and afaik he's not into the whole nobles and high society whatever thing.

The diamond scene in Ava's appartment would obviously speak against all this (and her behaviour at the ball and the moments where they looked like they were in love), but we know Ava is a good actress, after all she is selling the whole fake fiancee schmick incredibly well; it could also be regret of course

What might also be noteworthy: in her diamond scene in her appartment, when MC says: "[...] I'm going to find out who's really behind this. [...] [Y]ou can trust me." She asnwers: "...Can you?" with her shocked/surprised sprite. Instead of asking 'Can I?' and referring to MC saying she can trust her, she refers to MC saying she'll find the culprit. Also, by using a shocked sprite it suggests she is worried, or didn't expect this outcome, when it would make more sense for her to be relieved at MC's dedication to solve this, for which they would've/should've used a smiling sprite, maybe with a grey background. (Although this paragraph makes me feel like I'm reaching (a bit))

[ungiftedmusings]

everyone’s talking about parallels between Glasses Boys without commenting on the symbolism of the glasses themselves, so let’s talk about it:

glasses help us refine our vision, but they only help if there was a flaw in the first place.  if you have perfect eyesight, glasses won’t help your vision in the slightest.  however, if you realize something is off, you can correct it.

glasses do not give us the ability to see any better than someone with 20/20 vision, they allow us to keep up.  they do give us a greater awareness of the potential for flawed vision, and sometimes a greater appreciation for our corrected vision.

at the same time, they place a physical barrier between us and the rest of the world.  we can be as close as anyone else to the action, but we will always have an extra tiny bit of protection.

we have two “hero complex” characters: pang and supot.  at first sight, their glasses counterparts fit the role of sidekicks, but i would argue that they are more than that.  they do not just blindly carry out the hero’s will; they are there to resist it.  which, in the context of the heroes both possessing powers allowing them to impose their will on others, is extremely necessary.

supot and pang they have (or had) seemingly the strongest moral compasses, a constant drive to do what is best for everyone, but they both lose sight of the dangers involved in their mission.  they lack awareness of the possibility of endangering not only others, but also themselves (supot telling the ministry about his experiments, pang facing the director directly at the end of season one).  yuth’s line, “when you want to accomplish something, you can’t just attack it head-on,” is so important.  wave’s anger when pang went to face korn alone was similar.

the hero characters forget that the consequences of their individual loss could mean losing the war, and they throw caution to the wind.  the glasses characters, even as they acknowledge that morality drives the hero characters, are able to take a step back and see the flaws in their plan.

our hero characters cannot afford to acknowledge that their morality might be wrong.  what they’re fighting for, what they’re fighting against, is too big to face with half a heart.  but the glasses characters are different.  they have an extra bit of protection, they have already had to acknowledge that they are lacking (yuth doesn’t have a potential and doesn’t want to gain one through experimenting; wave’s lack of trust made him an antagonist for most of season 1) and move forward with the knowledge that broken doesn’t mean unfixable.

if there heroes acknowledge the danger, they also have to acknowledge their fear.  as the ones on the frontlines, this isn’t as sustainable as going in blind, going in stupid, going in without fear - and also without caution.  yuth and wave are constantly on edge, they’re looking for fear, and that’s okay - because they are a little bit safer.  they have some protection.  yuth didn’t interact with the ministry (until the very end, but we’ll get to that in a bit), and wave observes the action from a computer room.  they can be scared because their actions don’t require fearlessness.  they require bravery in the face of fear.

and you know what?  as soon as supot lost yuth, as soon as he lost his vision, his protection, he became a “bad guy.”  no, it wasn’t by choice, but it happened because supot did what heroes do: he faced the bad guys without fear, and by the time he felt it, it was too late.

i think it is telling that yuth continued working with supot in spite of supot’s betrayal.  maybe it’s wishful thinking, but i believe wave and pang will make up, too, because that’s the other thing about glasses characters - they have placed their trust in the wrong people in the past, and so they can now see more clearly when someone is worth trusting.  even if that trust is breached - they might need some time to think things through, some space to protect themselves and to feel safe, but they will eventually return to the people who give them hope.  the characters who want to be heroes so badly they lose their way.

on another note: yes, i think chanon and third’s glasses are symbolic as well, but in different ways.  for example, pom never wanted to be a hero.  as a result, their dynamic is different from those of supot/yuth and pang/wave.  pom doesn’t see himself as a hero, or even as a good guy, but chanon does.  i think chanon was the bravest of all, because he saw the outcome, he knew things would go wrong, and i’d bet money he was scared, but he chose to face things head on because he knew they’d turn out okay for his friend that way.  i cannot stress how much i hope he remains a good guy but also how much i doubt he will.  i don’t know.  maybe if he goes to the dark side pom will bring him back, but on the flipside of channon’s bravery is pom’s cowardice and i’m not sure he’s made much progress to overcome that.

third is the one i know least about and thus have the least commentary on, but - his potential is stealing information from people’s mind’s, right?  so actually very similar to waves but with people rather than computers.  he has been antagonistic at times and i could see him having a villain arc, or maybe he already has in a way that was less dramatic than wave’s.  i really can’t tell where he stands right now but maybe i’ll have more to say about him in another episode or so.

[itsclydebitches]

Volume 8 Trailer: Initial Reactions

This is incredibly short for a trailer. Aren’t RWBY’s usually about a minute and a half long? Will we be getting another? I literally only caught the last five minutes of the live stream so idk. 

Ruby is speaking very confidently about Salem’s plans. “Atlas is only Salem’s current target. She’s not hiding anymore,” etc. I mean yeah, this all seems obvious and easy deductions, but it’s just weird to give Ruby - who only found out about Salem a few months ago and spoke to her for one hot second (that we know of) - a more concrete sense of her plans than we, the omniscient audience, have gotten. 

That throne is wonderfully creepy (as is the music here). Where is this? Is Salem perhaps inside her whale? I’m digging the aesthetic. 

Actually it’s worth acknowledging that I’m happy with the tone overall. It still remains to be seen how this fits in with our clips, but at least the trailer is acknowledging the stakes here. 

“We need to warn them!” I get that now that Salem is actively attacking people it’s necessary to prepare others for that, immortality aside, but I still hate that we’ve jumped straight to ‘Telling the world is an unambiguously good thing!’ when literally everything we’ve seen in seven seasons has told us otherwise. 

Speaking of immortality is that like... a conflict at all? Because Volume 7 didn’t grapple with it and neither does this trailer. I think her being immortal is a pretty big factor in the ‘Do we stay or leave?’ debate/any plans they make to defend against her, but thus far Ruby and co. don’t seem to think so. 

We get a shot where the group is pulling out their weapons but Penny stands there looking confused. Another encounter with the Ace Ops? They’ve since recovered from their fight.  

We also see them standing over what is presumably Clover’s corpse. I’m gearing up for the fandom to crucify them if they don’t demonstrate an “appropriate” amount of grief. Something something see they’re inhuman and Team RWBY was right to betray them. 

I’m here for a Penny and Ruby hug though. Their relationship took such a dive last volume I’ll now accept any meaningful connection I can get. 

Okay, onto one of my biggest issues: so much of this trailer is repetition. We’ve seen the whale grimm arrive. We’ve seen the group go back to Pietro’s shop (and we know that either there’s nothing there to fight or they easily defeat what is there because the bike excitement comes next). We know the group is focused on helping Mantle whereas Ironwood is focused on helping the world. We’ve seen them get bikes. We’ve seen Penny’s eyes glow with the Maiden powers. None of this is new and that’s super disappointing. 99% of this is just rehashing what we knew from the end of Volume 7 or from the previous promo clips. With the exception of: 

Salem has the lamp. So she either took it from Cinder, Cinder rejoined her, or Neo betrayed her and took the lamp to Salem. She also doesn’t know how to use it and is presumably going to hunt down Ozpin(Oscar) with that bloodhound grimm. Depending on if Salem wants anything other than the lamp right now that’s an easy way to help protect Mantle: the group leaves and Salem will presumably follow. It’s a version of what I’ve said before regarding “If you care about the people and know that the evil witch only wants your magic relics/you, how about you actually leave via Atlas and draw her away?” 

Also, Ozpin is no longer “the one who can show me how.” Team RWBY + Qrow and Maria all know how to summon Jinn too. Potentially JNR as well if they were told that during the explanation scene we never saw. They’d better hope Salem doesn’t find out that at a minimum six other people know how to activate this relic, including a presumably defenseless old woman. Funny how taking information by force puts you in more danger, your friends in more danger, and makes the enemy’s job that much easier.

Salem also says that she has “questions” for Jinn, plural. That’s probably the most interesting development to me. What does she not know that she needs magic to gain? Will having only one question left hurt her plans? (Ugh, please don’t make this into a ‘It’s a good thing Ruby used a question to uncover all Ozpin’s trauma because that ended up saving the world!’ situation).

There’s nothing about Qrow or Ozpin’s return. Yes, I remain salty that arguably the most important character next to Ruby was dropped for the majority of two volumes and then doesn’t make an appearance in the trailer. 

All in all I’m feeling really... underwhelmed? As said, we’ve learned almost nothing new from this. With the exception of Salem there’s nothing in this trailer that makes me eager to understand what a clip means, or anxious to see the outcome of something. It’s just stuff we already know about (Penny’s eyes), generic stuff that’s meaningless without context (the Ace Ops standing at attention), or stuff that obviously has no weight (someone - potentially Yang - is chased by a dragon-y grimm. Will they survive??? Of course they’ll survive). If it weren’t for Salem holding the relic and revealing her need for it beyond it being one of the four pieces for summoning the gods, I’d say this trailer didn’t do any of the work a trailer is supposed to. So I guess kudos for giving us one thing to think about/look forward to? Everything else though is pretty tame for the volume where our heroes finally square off against their antagonist. This setup would be the end-game for most series (worrisome considering we know RT wants to continue much farther...) and the trailer is mostly showing repetition and grunt grimm. Can’t say it got my blood pumping.  

[divine-motion]

i’m having more of my tmnt au/2012 rewrite-ish thing so i’m gonna post this doodle of Karai and Leonardo bc it also summarizes one problem i have with 2012 and then the rest of my thoughts will be under keep reading

if you can’t read my handwriting/the quality of the phone picture is too bad: Karai: You ever think about how we’re in this mess just because our dads were fighting over a girl? Leonardo: ...... Y. Yeah. All the time.

yeah so obviously i don’t really like the reason for The central conflict of the series and shredder’s motivation to begin with, especially when they put in a much better reason in his backstory but still focused on “gorl didn’t like me back :(”

like really this guy devotes his life to revenge, kidnaps his niece, tries to murder several children, allies himself with colonizing aliens, and literally dooms the earth to destruction all because... he’s an incel. like i do like how crazy devoted he is to his revenge bc i love that stuff but with this it’s just kind of funny when it’s not supposed to be. so! i would change his motivation to what it should have been and is actually in the show, namely: the whole thing about the Hamato Clan taking him in as a baby after they launched a devastating assault on a Foot Clan village, where they found him.

they do add in a little bit of it but. it should’ve been his main motivation, not just an extra thing! it could’ve even made him something of a sympathetic villain! like how i would’ve done it, he finds out about his origins as being part of the Foot Clan and the fate of his home village, and is enraged that he’s been lied to his whole life. he questions the honor of the Hamato Clan since they clearly attacked civilians - this was a village, and there were clearly kids there, he wonders if he really was the only child there and how many were not given the same mercy he did - and his family were apparently killed in the attack. so he confronts his brother yoshi about it (not sure if i’d have yoshi know about it or not but his reaction remains the same). saki expresses his desire to have revenge, tear the Hamato Clan down since he doesn’t believe that it deserves to continue to exist, but that doesn’t mean yoshi has to die too, and asks yoshi to join him. of course, since saki wants to kill yoshi’s dad as revenge, yoshi refuses, the two fight, tang shen jumps between, house burns down, big ol’ domino brick effect.

i think he still has feelings for tang shen and while he’s jealous he leaves it be and remains best friends with tang shen, and her death at his hand drives him further off the edge. he takes in miwa/karai partially as a way to make it up to tang shen, though he knows it’s not enough. oh and also as a dramatic irony/more revenge against the Hamato Clan since that’s exactly what they did to him.

while he is entirely dedicated to eradicating the Hamato Clan he gets more and more obsessed with revenge as the story goes on. like i’m thinking of having leo and karai suggest a truce between the Foot and the turtles with the Kraang threat afoot and shredder actually ends up accepting bc he agrees they can’t let the Kraang win. maybe more bc he genuinely cares abt karai in his own way and wants there to be a world for her to grow up in (even though at this point she’s been trained as an assassin for her entire childhood but. well. he’s still a villain yanno. “this is how my adoptive parents treated me when i was growing up, i don’t see what the problem is.” “your parents who you hate?” “yeah. what of it.”). but then, later on, he would become entirely obsessed with revenge and not care about anything else that happens, probably after killing splinter and finding it brought him no peace or satisfaction

seriously what’s up with 2012 allying with the Kraang. how do you see that working out for you sir. sure he was expecting a betrayal but. still.

of course he takes opportunity of the truce to steal mutagen and Kraang tech while they can and makes sure to make use of the fact that the turtles can’t interfere in his business to make more weapon deals and gain more territory.

... hmm... i could... have tang shen live... potentially surviving the wound... and she and yoshi both believe that miwa perished in the fire, and they either get divorced or they both move to usa together and then yoshi gets mutated and tang shen is left alone, not knowing that her husband turned into a giant rat... i mean that’s just a potential thing. it sounds a little bit melodramatic and contrived but i think tang shen should get to survive sometimes and making splinter Epic Divorce Man would be funny. i dunno just a thought!

while we’re on the topic of Foot Clan stuff i might as well talk a little about other Foot Clan goons

bebop and rocksteady join way earlier. i care them ok. not sure if they’d still be anton zeck and steranko... idw and bay movies are peak bopsteady ok, and i like them being friends from the start! also for design changes i just don’t agree with bebop being skinny. he’s fat :)

Xever doesn’t get mutated, i like his human design more and there are, what, three major black characters in 2012 and they’re all villains and all get mutated? let xever be human!! he’d also be a bit more of a major and respected villain, a very Neutral Evil type, and makes a point to show he’s out for himself and for his own survival. if possible he’ll try to talk his way out of situations when he can and speaks in support of the truce i mentioned earlier because he’d prefer it if the earth was still inhabitable. karai proclaims that he is her favorite among her dad’s cringe henchmen but the only thing they bond over is their mutual disdain of bradford. he just thinks karai is kind of a brat, if a very skilled and dangerous brat.

while bradford/rahzar is a fairly formidable threat, there would be more emphasis on how pathetic he is. he’s chuck norris so he deserves it. also he’s like a 50 year old guy who acts so entirely devoted to shredder who’s. what. 39 years old? 40? he deserves to be dragged more

i’m thinking mr baxter stockman wouldn’t be mutated either, i like his human design a lot too. he would also be much less of a loser in this rewrite since bradford would take that role. instead, he’s just... an absurdly normal genius scientist/engineering guy who happens to be part of a really evil crime organization full of evil ninjas. he’s polite and eccentric, happy to have someone who finally funds his many inventions and experiments, even if that someone happens to be someone literally called The Shredder. however, while he is a nice man, he is rather impatient when people rush him with inventions. whenever shredder tries his usual “if you fail there will be consequences” it just doesn’t work bc baxter points out that failure is part of the process and that shredder absolutely needs him to make the inventions shredder wants.

karai is weirded out by baxter the most bc he just seems so normal

later on when karai goes double-agent to try and take the Foot Clan down from the inside: i trust baxter the least leo: it’s the sweater isn’t it karai: it’s just so pink, i can’t stop looking at it whenever we’re having an Evil Ninja Crime Organization meeting! do you know the tonal dissonance of seeing him next to The Shredder? and listening to shredder speak in grunts and growls while baxter just keeps a chipper tone?? i don’t think i’ve ever used the word chipper to describe someone before but with him, it’s the only word i can think of!!! leo: he is disarmingly pleasant. karai: right!!! he looks more like someone’s wacky dad!! the other day he literally told me a dad joke. i felt like i was light-headed

i don’t think i’d change tiger claw very much, if at all. maybe make him a little less invincible at times, and a little more regretful of the outcome with alopex.

i have more thoughts but this is. already several walls of text so i’ll end this nonsense post here

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Travelers in the Dark Chapter 4

Chapter Title: Bunker Underneath the Surface

Summary: If Virgil was told a month ago that events that transpired and led him into meeting Logan and the others, he’d laugh at the absurdity of it. Now it scared how quickly he’d grown to care for these humans. Still he has some fears over staying with them, fears that swirl in his mind when Logan asks for a quick chat between the two.

Pairings: platonic lamp

Chapter Word-Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Vampires, Fear, Panic, Implied Non-Graphic Violence, Blood Mention, Fantasy Racial Discrimination

Previous Chapter | Present | Next Chapter      AO3 LINK

*dusts off this fic* It’s been a while, huh? Massive thanks to @theeternalspace for beta’ing this chapter as always!

I don’t think I mentioned this besides the ao3 tags, but the original plan behind this fic was to include villain!Janus later down the road. It won’t happen until the second half of this fic, and honestly, I’m still deciding if I’m still including that or going a different route, I just wanted to mention that it may be occurring.

 If you don’t want to read content featuring him depicted that way, I understand. With the way the first half of this fic is designed, you can easily read the fic up to the point before villain!Janus might make an appearance and still enjoy it, as there’s basically two different story arcs that occur in this fic :)

-

Over the course of the next week, Virgil’s resolve to leave dissipated. It chipped away with Patton’s humming as he mixed together ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies. It splintered as Roman sauntered into the kitchen and swept Patton into an impromptu waltz. It fell apart as Logan tried to maintain a steady gaze on his physics book but the curve of his lips told Virgil he was amused by the others’ antics.

He’d never experienced such a warm, loving environment. He didn’t know they existed outside of fiction. If Virgil was told a month ago of the events that would transpire, he’d laugh at the absurdity of it all. Now it scared how quickly he’d grown to care for these humans.

In the stormy bleak world he’d grown up and lived in, it was every person for themselves. His foster parents took care of him simply for the money involved. His teachers could care less if he, a vampire, passed or failed. The one person he’d considered a friend only used him for their own gain in the end.

It’d been better to cease social interactions altogether. What was the point of subjecting himself to it when it always resulted in a negative outcome? After all, the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

Virgil was many things, but he wasn’t stupid. Or at least, he was smart enough to recognize it wasn’t worth it. Any other person might’ve gone the other extreme. They might’ve done whatever they pleased, regardless of what everyone else thought. They might’ve become what others expected them to be, because there was no other designated role in society for them.

Virgil refused. The last thing he wanted was to prove that the prejudices against vampires were valid. But again, he wasn’t stupid. He was just one person fighting an ocean of bigotry. Everyone knows you can’t fight the ocean because it does whatever its damn well pleases.

That was why he ran away from his foster family, from everything. He disappeared into the park, taking refuge in the trees. It had been safer to just give up than to play society’s game.  He didn’t even finish high school. Every day became about finding his next meal, his next shelter, his next—well he didn’t need water to survive. One of the perks of being a practically immortal vampire.

When he reached eighteen, he stopped aging. Physically. Which sounded just as fun as it felt; being trapped in a perpetual state of puberty for potentially a hundred years or so. It varied from vampire to vampire, when they’d start showing signs again of physically aging. He was twenty-eight now, and still practically an adolescent by vampiric standards.

In fact, vampires at his age required more frequent feedings to put up with their young body’s fast metabolism. It meant that Virgil was hungry all day every day. It had been hard at the beginning. He’d never had to worry about meals while under the care of the state.

Quickly he understood how hard it was to resist the urges wired into his being. Once, he’d gone three weeks without a meal. Hunting down animals hadn’t been as easy as he’d thought. Even when he managed to capture the odd bird or two—it was enough for him to starve off the urges. But never enough to truly satisfy it.

Virgil blacked out at the end of those three weeks. When he regained consciousness, he stood in an unfamiliar alley over an unfamiliar body. Fresh blood dripped from his lips as he recoiled in terror—did he do this? Did he really kill someone? But then---then! The body’s chest rose, and he knew for certain the person was still alive.

Virgil should’ve called an ambulance, he should’ve turned himself in. He should’ve done something. But he didn’t.

He ran—his mind clouded with panic. He ran and ran until he reached the secluded security of the parks’ groves. There he collapsed, his body wracked with sobs.

The kids at his school had been right; they’ve been right all along, and Virgil had refused to see it. He was a monster. Maybe they were also right that he deserved to die. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Virgil secluded himself further in the park—being more mindful than ever to stay away from human contact. It was safer this way. Both for him and for everyone else. He couldn’t trust himself not to act on his impulses again. He became better at hunting wildlife animals. Too good, in fact.

There had started to be a suspicious shortage of squirrels in the park.

For years, his only focus in life had been on survival.  He’d forgotten almost anything that wasn’t vital to that goal. The days all blurred into each other, a continuous cycle of monotony. He’d liked it—routines were comforting. They were predictable, they were safe.

Despite this, even vampires needed social interaction. There was a reason why vampires preferred to live in covens rather than in isolation. He lived ignorant of that need throughout his time in the park. He didn’t realize it existed until this week spent in the apartment with Logan, Patton and Roman.

There had been a void in his heart and those three humans managed to fill it. For the first time in a long, long while Virgil felt…happy. The sensation was alarming and terrifying but also good.

Did that make him selfish if he didn’t want to give that up?

He tried his best to fight against the growing desire to stay. The last thing he wanted was to endanger the only humans who have shown him kindness. The idea of one day waking up standing over their unmoving bodies tormented him. He grew used to constant hunger, yes, but it was different in the woods. At least there he wasn’t constantly around three viable food sources. Not that he wanted to ever think of the humans in that way. They were so much more than a source of food. Vampiric urges be damned.

Several days after the garlic bread debacle with Roman, Logan sat him down.

“I have a few questions to ask you. But before I ask them, I want to let you know that you are not obligated in any way to answer them. Nor does this inquiry have anything to do with my scientific pursuits or anything of that sort.”

If he was a human, his pulse would’ve quickened from the anxiety swelling up inside of him. His thoughts pinballed into a million different directions as he tried to figure out what could possibly be on Logan’s mind. Externally he leaned back on the couch, arms crossed in a casual manner.

“Shoot.”

“Shoot? Why would I shoot—”

“It’s slang. It means ‘ask away.’” Virgil clarified.

It became apparent quickly that Logan was not adept at slang. It was a sore spot for the veterinarian—he took pride in being right. He told Virgil that he only spoke if he was certain of what he was saying was correct. Still, he found discovering new knowledge invigorating. Rather than denounce slang, he tried his best to understand it. He kept a pack of flashcards with him to help remember the correct usage of them.

“Ah! I’ll have to remember to add that later,” He murmured before clearing his throat, “moving on. My first question would be, how often do you actually need to feed?”

Virgil froze, meeting the knowing gaze of the human. He’d been careful to take the bare minimum blood from both Logan and Roman. He hadn’t fed from Patton, and frankly he was trying to avoid that. The bond between a vampire and a donor was a complex, tricky thing.

The more blood he took, the more he risked strengthening such a connection. But both Logan and Roman were stubborn humans that refused to see their vampire guest starve. He’d managed to convince Logan he survived off less than what he actually needed. It was the truth—as long he conserved his energy and slept for longer periods. But it appeared Logan became suspicious—or maybe, had always been suspicious from the start.

“Did Roman put you up to this?” Virgil demanded, his nails digging into the flesh of his arms.

“While he did mention what happened with the garlic, he did not set me up to this. I’m asking out of my own vocation and…concerns,” Logan frowned, adjusting his glasses, “I’ve refrained from asking you questions about vampires’ physiology because the last thing I want to do is make you feel uncomfortable but…I just want to make sure you are getting proper nutrition. Your health is just as important to me as the others.”

Virgil sighed. What did he have to lose? Perhaps upon learning the truth, Logan would realize Virgil wasn’t worth their time and energy. As much as that thought hurt, it was for the best.

“I don’t really know,” Virgil confessed, “I’m always hungry. Squirrels and birds are enough to get by, but they’re…not enough. Maybe once, per day?”

Virgil closed his eyes, unable to force himself to see Logan’s reaction. There a was a few beats of silences before Logan inhaled deeply and said,

“I see. How many liters do you think that is?”

“Liters?” Virgil knitted his eyebrows together as he tried to recall how measurements worked, “I…have no idea.”

“As you know, I do not know much about vampire physiology, but do you think it’s similar to vampire bats?” At Virgil’s vacant stare, he elaborated, “vampire bats consume half their body weight per feeding.”

“No, it’s not like that,” Virgil shook his head, “It’s less, I think? But it depends on the source.”

“What do you mean?” Logan asked, leaning forward in interest.

“Look I don’t know how all the scientific shit works. But like, for some reason human blood is more nutritious? We can sustain on animal blood, but it’s not the same it’s like—it’s like—”

“Eating junk food compared to healthier alternatives?” Logan suggested.

“Yeah, I guess,” Virgil shrugged, slinking further into the couch, “We don’t have to drink as much human blood as we do with animal blood.”

“Fascinating,” Logan muttered, his hands twitching as if he wanted to scribble down these findings in a journal. He instead cusped his face with a hand, frowning. Virgil shifted nervously, waiting to hear the rest of Logan’s thoughts.

“I’m not sure though…if I and the others would be able to donate blood on a daily basis without severe risk to our health.”

“Wh—what?” Virgil said, his eyes widening in surprise. Logan actually sounded regretful of this fact. Whatever Virgil expected to come out of his lips, it wasn’t that.

Logan, however, seemed to take his reaction for something else entirely.

“You see, when humans donate blood for medical purposes, we are only allowed to donate every eight weeks or so to allow time for our red blood cells to replenish. Having a low red blood cell count is dangerous for humans…I am truly sorry about that, Virgil.”

“Wh—you have nothing to apologize for—I mean I wasn’t expecting you guys—” Virgil’s voice cracked, causing him to glance away in embarrassment, “you don’t have to do anything, really.”

“Virgil,” Logan said softly, “do you remember what I said when we began this discussion?”

Virgil’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Do you mean what you said about how you cared for…my health?” He asked hesitantly.

“Precisely,” Logan said, “I was stating the truth when I meant your health is important to me. After all, you are a friend.”

“You’re serious?”

“Of course,” Logan nodded, “only serious people wear neckties.”

He gestured to his necktie, and Virgil let out a chuckle.

“Y’know, you and the others are really making it hard for me to leave.” He murmured, “but I can’t stay. I—I just can’t. I can’t stay and possibly become a danger to you.”

 “Virgil, you will not be a burden to us. It might be difficult, but I know the others and I would be willing to help figure out a solution for your dietary needs. Let me repay you—”

“You don’t owe me anything.”

“Then at least let me do this for you as a friend.”

There was again, the f word. It was really devilish of Logan to use it against Virgil. Especially since all he had ever wanted in life was to be loved and accepted by others. It was oh so tempting to just stay and live in the solace of the apartment. Until the day he outlived the others, by his hands or by natural causes. He didn’t know which one was worse.

Virgil swallowed, throat tightening, “Are you sure of this? Are you sure you want me around? I mean, you barely know me.”

“As certain as I am of the sun rise, yes.”

“Well there is one solution.” Virgil said with a slight groan. He couldn’t believe he was doing this.

 Logan perked up, looking at Virgil with childish excitement. “What is it?”

“I’ve never done this and I don’t know like the exact scientific crap behind it. But if a vampire feeds from a, uh, human consistently, um, it’s like we inject something that keeps humans’ blood healthy. So like, I guess it helps reproduce red blood cells faster.”

“Incredible,” Logan murmurs, “I can’t believe—well, unfortunately I can understand why this isn’t common knowledge. But something like this proves vampires and humans as a whole could one day live harmoniously.”

“I mean, I doubt that,” Virgil laughed bitterly, “There is some…side effects. You might become, uh, enthralled for a brief period after a feeding. Like, very agreeable to whatever I suggest. So I get it if that makes any of you uncomfortable.”

He flitted his gaze towards his ratty shoes. A hand rested on his shoulder, soft and tentative. As if fully prepared to draw back if Virgil brushed it off. He looked up at Logan. The human looked back, a determined glint in his eyes.

“Virgil, I trust you. I can’t speak for the others but I’d like to test this arrangement between you and I. If for whatever reason, it does not work—either for you or for myself, then we can always find a different solution. Alright?”

“Okay.” Virgil choked, forcing his vision to remain clear and not blurry with tears.

So, he stayed. Patton’s eyes lit up like a kid receiving a puppy for Christmas. He immediately bombarded Virgil with one of his signature hugs. Roman laughed triumphantly as he clasped Virgil’s shoulder and promised him that he wouldn’t regret this. Logan hung back, but his soft smile told Virgil all he needed to know.

Staying meant that he had to find a job. Virgil had never held a job in his entire life, never mind the fact he didn’t have a high school diploma. Yet Virgil couldn’t live in good conscious as a freeloader in the apartment. He wanted to contribute to the apartment rent. In order to do that, he needed money. He was certain that the two quarters and the one nickel he had floating in his jeans pocket wouldn’t be enough.

He searched for businesses that would hire someone like him. Not only was he dealing with a rather sparse resume, but there was of course prejudice against vampires. The humans flaunted around words like “peace among species” and “equal rights for all” but that rarely was the case. Even with the Helsing Laws in effect. He’d like to say that their prejudice was entirely unwarranted but well…

Most vampires kept to themselves. They either believed staying quiet would bring about peace or they just stewed about it away from human ears. Then there were some vampires that believed they were the superior beings and not the humans. So they really didn’t have qualms about hurting humans to bring about their agenda. Something Virgil knew about too well.

Of course, the businesses couldn’t openly discriminate. The Helsing Laws prevented that. But the laws did nothing to stop the prejudices that still clung heavily to the air.  It took just one smile—one laugh for them to see a flash of pearly white fangs and freeze up. They wouldn’t say it in words. But he could tell by their tone of voice and not so subtle wording that they were afraid.

They were afraid he’d snap and become an endangerment by attacking and drinking the blood of the first human he came into contact with. Honestly, humans were perfectly capable of eating their own kind’s flesh, yet you don’t see them worrying about that possibility.

It made it all the more hard to decipher then, who would hire him and who would cuss out his existence.

“So what makes you interested in working at our establishment?” The lady conducting his seventh interview asked. It was at a local, quirky coffeeshop—the kind that regulars claimed was way better than Starbucks.

Um because I want money? Virgil thought. He didn’t say it out loud, learning from his first interview that was apparently not what they wanted to hear. After that mishap, the others helped coached him through the right things to say. It still didn’t keep his intestines from knotting up out of nervousness.

“It seems like a chill, clean environment.” He shrugged.

“Well, thank you, we like keeping it that way for  our customers,” She laughed, “but we do still expect our employees to work hard and not slack off. We can get busy especially in the weekday mornings and all day on the weekends. Do you think you can handle that?”

No.

“Yes,” Virgil said, lying through his teeth, “I’m pretty good at handling stressful situations.”

“Is there a specific example you can think of?”

Virgil twisted in his seat, doing his best not to fiddle with his fingers.

Here goes.

“Well, as a—a vampire, I’ve had to deal with people who don’t…like that much. So I’m good at making sure I keep my composure. Like if there is an upset customer, I—I think I could be good at staying calm and making sure they walk away happy.”

She pressed her lips together, “I see.” And then, “What would you say are some weaknesses of yours?”

The rest of the interview continued on. She didn’t make any sort of comment about Virgil being a vampire. He didn’t know what to make of that.

“I’ll call you soon on what my decision is.” She told him, although he learned by his second interview not to trust those words.

“How was it?!” Patton asked upon his return back to the apartment. He and Roman were sitting on the couch watching TV. Logan was gone from the apartment, too early for him to be home from work. Virgil said nothing. He took a few steps before crashing into Roman’s side.

“That bad, huh?” Roman chuckled, already drawing his arms around Virgil.

“Tired,” Virgil closed his eyes, “job interviews are fricking exhausting.”

He heard Roman’s voice say something as his senses turned all muddy and muted. Someone laughed. Patton? If he wanted to, he could’ve forced his eyes open to see. He was content, however, to just lie there and steal Roman’s body heat.

It was stupid how easily Virgil taken to be at ease with these humans. Then again, it was also stupid how easily they accepted him. If either party had malicious intent, it would be almost effortless for them. Like taking candy from a baby.

Sleep was a strange thing for vampires. They needed rest, yes, but they never slept as deeply as humans could. Even in his soundest sleep, Virgil had a murky awareness of things. He could feel Roman mess with his hair, carefully untangling it with his fingers. He heard Patton’s and Roman’s heartbeats, steady and strong as ever. There was also a different sound. A buzzing, ringing sound.

“—gil! Hey Virgil! Wake up!”

Virgil jolted, alert and ready. His eyes scanned everywhere but found no threats. He looked at Roman and Patton in confusion, “Huh?”

Patton smiled, holding out his phone, “It’s for you.”

For him? But that could only mean one thing—someone actually called him back after a job interview. With a shaky hand, Virgil took the phone from Patton.

“Hello?”

“Hi Virgil, this is you, right?” The voice on the other line said. It did sound like the lady from the job interview.

“Yes.” Virgil answered, biting his lips and trying not to hiss from the pain that produced.

The voice said more words. Virgil managed to say words back. The conversation lasted scarcely a minute yet seemed like an eternity. He handed the phone back to Patton, eyes glazed over.

“Well?” Patton wiggled his eyebrows, bouncing in his seat like a rambunctious Labrador.

“Well,” Virgil began with a hesitant sliver of a smile, “I got the job.”

[meltangospelhour]

Notes on Reverie & Discipline: Chapter 1

Format: 1st Person Narrative

Chapter Rating: R / +17 [Implied Sexual stuff/it's smut]

Summary: This story was written after and based upon the 2020 GOFest that's been collecting dust. It's a first person recollection of thoughts after certain events, as well as repressed feelings coming to the surface between three characters in particular.

Chapter 2 // Chapter 3

Blanche

Comparing notes is how we’ve come to conclude our daily routine. It has been logical to do so; our research overlaps quite a bit. As you know, I oversee the handling of evolutionary components and deducting the requirements; Spark is an expert when it comes to breeding and handling Pokémon in their infancy; and Candela, in matters of improving overall stats of a Pokémon, which can involve a combination of stardust and candies.

To address it as Spark would: “Candy makes the candy.”

...Ahem.

So, because candies can trigger the evolutionary outcome of a Pokémon, it is inevitable and without question that I would be working alongside Candela quite often. It’s a fate inescapable. Even if we’ve discovered nothing new, she and I will come together out of a habit that’s formed over the course of these years. If one of us is too sick to appear in person, we’ll connect virtually. In all matters of candy, stardust, and now Rockets, there is always something to discuss.

Such evenings are somehow intense, yet still quiet. Cozy, if you will. The way my partner shifts from being so analytical in one moment, into a giggling fit the next, was a pattern that alarmed me in the beginning. Are you really a scientist, I’d wanted to ask countless times during our first sessions. Now, I’m happy to be a witness to the gamut of personalities that find themselves called into the field that are Pokémon studies.

Candela is far more crafty and even more calculative than I had come to imagine. If she loses, she still somehow wins. I have to work hard for my victories against her; she loses gracefully, but you will have most certainly earned that victory. Countless times, I have created elaborate defenses, counting on her weaknesses--proven and potential. And, repeatedly, I have seen her sidestep them before she’d even touch the surface of my hard work.

As if I were the purest ice, she sees right through me.

With her, there is no hesitation in matters of reading my face, my eyes, the way my fingers move, the pace of my breath, the tone of my voice, the quivering of my lips. Even down to the way I dress, she knows the language I speak past my mask, intentionally and not.

I could, at times, feel where those eyes went. It was distressing, yet oddly… alluring. That reaction has yet to change.

Within six months of observing me, she once asked of me: “You’re upset; aren’t you?”

“And why do you think this?” I sharply quipped.

“Your braid; it’s underhanded. When you’re in a better mood and have your hair braided, you’d usually opt for an overhand technique. Right?”

I found myself paralyzed; she was right. My Lapras had come down with Pokerus. While the virus itself is generally beneficial, it doesn’t make the course of the disease any easier to endure. Seeing someone you care about in pain and discomfort weighs heavily on the mind. As always, I kept my more guttural emotional responses suppressed. The issue of anyone knowing what my Lapras was going through wasn’t the problem; the issue was the potential of my raw emotions stifling my work.

I found myself angry; I had lost control. To opt for a euphemism so many are wont to make: she thawed past my glacial barrier. With this knowledge, would she take advantage of it?

She did, only…not in the way that I’d feared.

Candela stopped by to make sure my Lapras was comfortable, and told a story about how her Infernape, then a Monferno, came down with it. The Pokémon's massive head now resting in her lap, my research partner sang to it a lullaby that I’d never heard--Only to realize along the crescendo that it was Lugia’s Song in a different key. My Lapras, for the first time since falling ill, found enough will to make sound beyond agonized moaning and hummed along with her.

I looked on at the scene that churned impossible-to-pinpoint feelings from within: a woman who I’d feared, and, in a panic, further embraced water-types into my repertoire. Only to find that she seemed relieved I had done so while jovially complaining about needing a real challenge. Now doting upon the very Pokémon who could potentially, with its gains in its newfound recovery, could likely better withstand her team, if not devastate it, if I calculate my strategy accordingly.

It dawned upon me that she saw herself as a small part of something much bigger. If we were strong together, it was all that mattered to her.

She’d said to me some time ago, not the exact words, but akin to: Battles are frequent. They are won, they are lost. But war only has one victory, and that is the victory to focus upon.

That resonated true, especially now.

The feeling of partnership and friendship remained stable. However, something else within felt threatened.

...Something deeper that I’d repeatedly denied myself.

❄❄❄

I’ve worried. I’ve found myself knotting up within. I hadn’t fallen ill. I began to follow the pattern that was behind this sudden nuisance. One of the GO Rocket leaders we were up against is a person from Candela’s past. Someone close to her. A rival and a close friend. In a passing and annoyingly irrelevant thought, I immediately processed the possibility of them being doubles partners in that not-so-distant past.

I found myself thinking about it more, wishing to see the fight they’d engaged in in that field. I thought more about them than I did Cliff. I feel so terribly sorry for Cliff; Giovanni is unworthy of a man that loyal. But I found my thoughts wandering more often to a point that could be deemed unhealthy at worst, counterproductive at best.

The Salamence were the ones that drove my thoughts into this descent. Candela had one that she loved so dearly. That is not to say that she didn’t love her Pokémon equally, but her closeness and address of the dragon seemed so very unique in of itself. To compare, she addressed her Moltres with a certain deference, as we often did with our signature birds. To further illustrate the relationship, one could say that they were our patrons and we, their scions, in a sense. With the Salamence, however, there was a certain reminiscence and determination that I could never understand--

--Until I learned of Arlo’s possession of a Salamence. Though, his was tainted--as far as I was aware. Likewise, this could all be fallacious; I could be bringing up Sierra and Candela’s Houndooms, mine and Sierra’s Lapras, or Spark and Cliff’s Tyranitars. These coincidences potentially had just as little-to-no grounds for concern.

...Right? Of course. Of course, I’m right.

The Salamence themselves shouldn’t be a detail worth my mulling over; however, it drove my curiosity as to who filled the ranks of Arlo’s non-tainted team that Candela had, from what Willow said (who recounted what Candela told him) requested to battle. For old friends who dedicated themselves to the world of Pokémon battles to have matching Pokémon, or Pokémon who were romantically involved, it was often seen as what one might call a ‘cute’ gesture.

A cute gesture between old friends…

...Old friends who could be considered to be of ‘marrying age,’ no less…

To share a pair of dragons was no small matter in certain cultures. After all, Arlo is presumably Kantonian, or perhaps Johtonian; Candela is--

If the dragons are or were mates, then, possibly--?

(I still do not know Candela’s exact age. Her appearance is considerably younger than Spark’s, despite her being the eldest. I attribute this to a number of factors alongside her own healthy habits. One of my admins even teased that Valor’s old guards biologically engineered their higher ranks to fit a certain ideal, to which I immediately dismissed, but considered the potential sciences for my own personal application in terms of enhancing my own mental aptitude permanently.)

In addition, I suppose Spark being very open to discussing Sierra, but Candela’s withholding of Arlo, fuels my ruminations. Spark and Sierra have shared no past, but the level of transparency he was willing to offer is to be appreciated.

“...Has she mentioned him to you?” I asked Spark while watching Elekid and my Metagross play together.

“Nope.” He was careless and quick to reply. I wish he’d not assume before speaking.

“...You’re aware of whom I’m asking about?”

“Yeah,” Spark laughed. “Candela and Arlo. It’s all over your face.”

He wasn’t being careless, and I was wrong about him.

Sporting the audacity to gesture around the proximity of my own face with his finger just to drive his point home, I felt anger well inside of me. And yet, I wasn’t sure who or what I was angry towards. I quickly deducted that I was mad at the situation itself; that I had let my feelings over the situation shatter my façade. He didn’t need to ask “who” due to the fact I had, apparently, exposed my emotions out in the open more than I’d anticipated.

“I suppose that Professor Willow is the only one that Candela had spoken with in-depth about him. Are you not curious?” I asked Spark.

“Of course I’m curious!” he said as Elekid went flying. Nonchalant, Spark raised his hand to catch the flying ball of flailing and laughing energy. He was many things, but the manner that his ‘mother Beartic’ side often activated, as effortlessly as taking a breath, never ceased to impress me.

“You know what, though? When Candy’s ready to speak, she’ll speak! ‘Sides, it’s not like she’s got anything we can actually use! I mean, what’s she going to say? Dude likes boxers over briefs? What are we gonna do with that? Mail him thongs?”

I was fortunate that my anger had found focus. Spark was right; it was pointless. The thirst for my knowledge was driven by my own selfish desires, nor was it hampering Candela’s performance. If anything, it was a fuel.

And yet, my desires persisted. And grew.

...How would she know what sort of undergarments he preferred? Why would you even use such a crass example, Spark? They were only close friends. Nothing more.

I have had days where I absolutely abhorred Arlo. I’ve yet to speak with him; and yet, the reports from trainers and the fact he’d hurt Candela was beyond enough.

I had nights where I reveled in our time -- OUR time -- comparing notes with one another. That time Arlo could have shared with Candela, had he behaved and not fled like a spoiled coward, now belonged to me. Her closeness as she leaned over to see my work along the scattered papers and array of holo-screens...

...The firm, caring squeeze of her hand upon my shoulder;

...The warmth voluminous breasts brushing against my back when she leaned in for a closer look;

...The tenderness and melody of her voice uttering my name, telling me how proud she was to be my partner.

...The scent she wore that often compelled me to lick my own lips.

...I’ve experienced guilt for this indulging. We are working. I always kept still and drank in those moments. I dismissed the apologies from her when she soon realized how close she leaned over me as I worked in my seat and at my desk. For the record, I do not like it when anyone invades my space uninvited. I’d not prefer it.

But this? This was acceptable.

Desirable.

I always kept my voice to a whisper when I forgave her, and kept my face close to hers. At first, it was never planned; a pleasant accident. But, after conducting enough research regarding such gestures, I found that it was a way to sate this growing need for her I had within. To quell the steam without crossing the professional line, so to speak.

I began to realize that part of myself had lost control for her. Close to my proximity, I could feel her warmth, combined with that warm, sweet, spicy perfume that most certainly had traces of Salazzle pheromones imbued within. Alone and in the darkness of night, I then found myself yielding to the temptation of vivid fantasies and succumbing to the will of my own wandering hands.

I felt safe to do so.

Then, from within a dream, something clicked.

Awakened by epiphanies is the norm for my course of sleep. I keep a notebook upon my nightstand for such moments. However, this was the first time I felt too horrified to write. I didn’t want the degradation of my thoughts towards carnal desires to be committed to any tangible memory.

Still; it was a thought that felt as if I were gazing down a void that could envelope me at any time. I kept wanting to know just how close they had been.

Why are the notes on him so vague?

Why so much hatred just because of Candela?

Did she break your heart, losing a Pokémon battle?

Or stealing your potential title?

Am I missing something?

You seriously cannot justify abusing Pokémon because you lost against her!

You wanted the leadership position; didn’t you?

No, that’s too easy. That can’t be it.

Sometimes that’s all there is to it, Blanche.

Perhaps I’m committing the sin of over analyzing things. I still recall Cliff’s message, chiding me for ‘thinking too much.’

(While his observations are… sound, that did nothing to gain the upper hand against me in our previous battles.)

Perhaps these concerns I ruminate upon weren’t merely carnal desires. Perhaps they were more...

[He is sly and manipulative.]

That note. Who’s being manipulated? Why mention this useless detail in our dossier?

I can only compare him to anything but. I’ve met Rattata who were more sly than he.

Small. Loud. Does nothing but preach. Preoccupation with humiliation, and announces frequently for his desire to not be embarrassed. And yet, he seems so simultaneously proud and disgusted of Rocket. That isn’t very manip--

“Wait.”

My need to annotate took precedence over my stubbornness. This might be important. I took only a few notes; short ones for column [A]; extensive ones for column [C]. [C] would come to explain [A]. I will make [C] explain to me [A].

And yet, weeks later, we found ourselves standing beside one another. The subsiding heat from the summer sunset radiated upon us in the glow of victory as we watched the GO Rockets flee. With the aid of Victini’s blessing, we were able to overwhelm what could have become a potential disaster beyond words. One may call such a scene ‘romantic.’ Perhaps that would have been the moment where I should have confessed to her. Perhaps share a kiss? That’s how that sort of thing works; yes? Two warriors, victorious in their pursuits, succumbing to their long-repressed desires. In those stories Candela loved so much, it always seemed to play out that way.

Almost always. There was that one spy novel she complained for an entire week about.

Despite my successful duel with Cliff fresh upon my mind, I set aside enough space to recall what I’d observed of Candela and Arlo.

(Due to the sheer number of witnesses, Spark and Sierra’s battle was not worth recalling and was quite straightforward; to this day, and apparently to Sierra’s chagrin, people still speak of it extensively.)

I had witnessed the Valors; leader and traitor, from a distance; the unreadable faces; the wordless, pre-battle lingering. The reflection of the sunlight in Arlo’s spectacles from my position obfuscating the legibility of his emotions--while Candela, so expressive as can be with her enrapturing eyes, was no more different from when challenging one of our trainers. She radiated so much vivacity; and yet, she told me absolutely nothing.

...That was the point; wasn’t it?

My recollection was suddenly interrupted by that familiar voice so warm and bubbly: “I guess we won’t have any notes to compare tonight, huh?”

“...I suppose not,” I replied. Of course not; we were uncovering details at an amazing pace; my personal concerns aside.

Still, my chest began to ache, caused only by what I could only ascertain was due to tension. Candela; invite me to something after our dinner with the Professor. Ask me something, anything. A showcase battle? A doubles battle with Spark and the Professor? Chess? Would you… Care to spend the night? Anything? I couldn’t look at her. I looked at everything and everyone else around me but her. I knew that if I did, she’d call me a Piplup and ask what was wrong. Not that I minded, but I wasn’t ready to allow myself to react to that the way I desired to do so in public.

She said nothing.

Before I could take command of the situation and extend my own invitation, I finally directed my eyes where she was supposed to be.

She was already gone.

I last glimpsed her waving to Spark and Professor Willow before mounting her Rapidash and taking out beyond the valley’s treeline.

I took a step forward to call out to her, to simply give her the similar dismissal/greeting that I often did by announcing her name; but the echo of the sound of my heel clicking down on a flat rock seized me by surprise, thus disrupting my usual vocal range into a far more embarrassing octave.

It was the reverberation of both my voice and that step that suddenly alarmed me. Something about that echo, in my mind’s auditory hallucinations, made it feel as if I were speaking in a chamber.

No, a theatre.

What would have been something of a charm in a natural, open space--to hear one’s voice echoing in such a way--triggered a visualization of all the notes that I had taken, and what I had bore witness to today.

Something’s up. I was now beyond determined to find out just what it was.

Chapter 2 // Chapter 3