#ANYWAY I GOT DISTRACTED HI THANK YOU FOR SWEET MESSAGE I LOVE U !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cerealmonster15]

thinking abt ur jamiazu fic where they go on a field trip and azul carried jamil <3 loved them sm .... azul talking to the lil octopus was so cute too

wahhh THANK YOU i really liked writing that one!!! i love making characters be SILLY DORKY LITTLE FOOLS

hes being SO VERY SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

i'd like to think jamil was Haunted by that new lore of Azul Being Strong Enough To Carry Him With Ease LOL

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

TELL US ABOUT THE CONFESSION JIL

@fishy-moirails I GOT YOU BOTH COVERED

first of all thank you for being so interested HUUEHHEUE IT MEANS ALOT 🥺🥺🥺 OTL YYWYEEURHEYRHEE OKOK STORY UNDER READ MORE!!! Bullet point styled writing my beloved

sorry if it seems like it's moving too quickly?? LMAODOAS I JUST WANTED IT TO GO TO THE PART™ AHAHSHFHHSHD there's a lot of skips shshh no I am not rewriting this draft I am winging it on one go

ALSO THIS IS VERY LONG I WARNED U AHSHSHSHDHSHDHEJJR

• tom hates christmas. always does. it was already december 23, two days before christmas

• edd knew that tom would be doing stupid stuff like wrecking havoc, burning down beautifully decorated trees, crushing presents down, that kind of stuff

• he had to think of something clever so that tom wouldn't go ruin the celebration again, it was really exhausting. he NEEDS to be distracted... by something.... or someone

• suddenly, edd had a bright idea. jesse! he had noticed by now that tom and jesse may have a thing going on with each other, but never said anything about it

• edd was the only one who noticed them first being so, subtly sweet to each other, and witnessing tom overreact over the idea of liking jesse — his stunned and red face said it all.

• edd calls up jesse on the phone. a quick wholesome small talk ensued, after a few minutes he asks her for a favor

• "anyways, can you go out with tom, tomorrow?"

• huh!??? it was completely out of the blue. edd suddenly asking jesse to... to... go out with him?? wasn't she subtle about her adoration for him?? it sounded like he knew. but she digress

• edd's reason was that "matt and I are going shopping, and tom is gonna be ..... er... lonely by himself.... uh. yeah"

• (but in reality he really was begging her to keep him distracted from becoming grinch 2.0. he's bad at making reasons)

• that was ..... a very peculiar request. isn't he an adult already? he makes him sound like ton is still a baby. what a way to degrade a man's honor like that.

• "well, I mean.... I guess I can do that, bu-" her voice slowly trailed off into silence

• "GREAT. THANK YOU. SEE YOU LATER" and then edd signs out

• jesse stood there confused, that was incredibly odd??? but no matter, she did want to try to go out with him, she just didn't know how. but now with this prompt suggested by edd, she can't just let it slide — and the most fun holiday was just in a few days

• the next step was actually asking tom to go with her.

• it's probably best she texted him about it.

~~

• back in edd's house, tom sat on the couch minding his own business, and then his phone vibrated

• a message from jesse

• he couldn't help but, feel a little bit of excitement whenever he read that name. they rarely texted, and if they did, it was very short lived, but tom still cherished it

• still, he felt nervous because it was from her!! he was secretly admiring her too, how would you feel if you saw your crush texting you?? you'd wanna act cool even in text!!

• 'hi tom! :D' the message reads out

• he responded casually. 'heya, what's up?"

• 'its x-mas eve tomorrow, and i was wondering if you wanted to come along with me? maybe go to a mall? we can go buy presents for edd, matt and tor.d!'

• a tightness swelled on his throat. he's overthinking now

• xmas.... with her??? tom suddenly felt weird... he had huge distaste for this cheery holiday.... but with her???

• is this a date?? he felt nervous

• she didn't know about his opinion about xmas, nor does he wanna look like an asshole in front of her about it....

• he doesn't want to reject her either — he would love to go out with her anytime...

• ...

• ...maybe christmas doesn't sound so bad...

• he types out his response

• "oh sure, why not? :)"

• thank goodness did texting really mask their actual emotions and red tinted cheeks. but it's settled now

~~

• the next day, it's December 24. edd sleeps comfortably in bed, he's murmuring by himself.

• "mhm..n... christmas eve...."

• edd suddenly shoots up from his bed, eyes wide awake

• IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE.

• TOM BETTER NOT BE PREPARING HIS AMMUNITION FOR TOMORROW

• edd runs to his bedroom. he's not there

• CRAP CRAP MAYBE HE'S ALREADY DRAGGING HIS ROCKET LAUNCHER OUT

• edd runs out to the main door of the house. he's still wearing his pajamas

• as he kicks the door open. the area is covered in thick, white snow. and lo and behold — tom is idling in front of the mailbox, all dressed up

• "oh, good morning edd." tom had his hands on his pockets, his head turned back to see edd's terrified look

• edd pauses for a moment... he's going out?

• .... OHH SNAP HE ACCEPTED JESSE'S REQUEST!!!!

• edd played dumb, everything's under control now. he wiped off the nervous look off his face

• "morning tom, looks like you're going out today! where ya goin?" the smug face edd had plastered, ohh he's thriving so hard

• tom froze.

• "UH. NO, I AM JUST STANDING HERE"

• no he's not allowing edd to think he's on a date hell no he's not!!

• edd chuckles, ohh silly little boy he knows what's going on. but he'll let it slide for tom's sake

• "well, have fun standing there! I'm getting cola for breakfast" and edd walks back in, closes the door.

• tom sighs to himself. he's starting to wonder why he's here again, until a voice called to him.

• "tom, you're here!"

• that voice. in an instant his eyes quickly tries to scan for that, familiar sweet voice.

• his eyes lands on jesse, she's dressed in a fluffy jade jacket, and cute white ear warmers.

• he couldn't help but feel, soft inside. her cute stature and smile made him smile.

• "you look nice" he spoke up

• her eyes shrunk at the sweet compliment, she awkwardly twirls her hair and smiles

• "haven't worn this in a while, I'm glad you find it nice, haha" she chuckled

• she's so pretty. he thought

• ”shall we go?"

• he nodded.

~~

• they're in a mall now, as suggested by jesse

• the interiors was filled with christmas themed decorations, a big tree stood in the center of the building, jolly music surrounded the whole place. it feels so festive and bright

• tom cringed at this sight. eugh.

• but, it doesn't feel so, so bad? compared to last time? is it because she's around?

• tom looked at her, excitement filled her eyes, they were sparkling too. she's stoked

• gosh, he could look at her all day if he could

• jesse snaps him out of his trance

• "let's go look in here! maybe there's something here that i could give to matt!"

~~

• they're window-shopping, jesse scans every item available, she's really trying to find a gift for everyone. how thoughtful!

• tom wasn't really looking for anything special, he's just following her. he's not mad though, he's enjoying it actually.

• suddenly, he notices a rack with "mistletoes" labeled above. he stops to look at them. it look pretty.

• "ooh, mistletoes! they're really gorgeous" she notices him staring at them

• "what are these?"

• "...you don't know what are mistletoes?"

• tom shakes his head. he doesn't know. apparently hating christmas means he doesn't really know much about certain items

• "people usually like to hang mistletoes by a doorway, and if two people happen to stand on one together, they... they kiss!"

• "they kiss?"

• "yeah! it's really cute. right?"

• "huh, that's- that's cool"

• he ended up buying one after jesse finished shopping. he didn't show her though. who knows? could come in handy...

~~

• a few hours passed, they definitely had a great time bonding with each other, and being together alone.

• it felt like they truly got to know each other more, and their feelings for each other continued to swirl more

• jesse had to excuse herself to the restroom, so tom waited out for her. her shopping bags sat next to him.

• he was minding his own business, when he hears a couple pass by with an ongoing conversation

• "it's almost 12! we should go check the fireworks later!"

• "oh? where is it?"

• "it's at the outer area of the mall, it's the perfect view to watch the night glitter!!"

• fireworks... he should take her there to end the night

• and, maybe. maybe it was time he told her the truth.

• his face warmed with red, is he really going to tell her now?

• what if it backfires?

• 'am i going to hate christmas even more if things don't go the right way?'

• his worries gets shaken off into thin air when she comes back.

• "i'm back!" she runs to him, and picks up her bags of shopped goods

• "where do you want to go next? or should we go home now?"

• "actually... i heard there's a fireworks display starting soon..." he paused, and gulped

• "... do you wanna go there?" his voice got a little shaky there.

• "i'd love to" she nodded happily

• something about the way she said it, pulled his heartstrings too hard. she would "love to".

• walking outside, there's already a couple of people waiting. some are standing, sitting, and talking to others.

• there's an unoccupied bench, they both took the seat, and waited for the show to begin

• jesse suddenly felt cold, she's shivering a little. she tried to wear her jacket thoroughly and adjusted her earmuffs, but she still continued to shake in her seat

• tom couldn't just sit there and watch her freeze.

• not even saying anything, he scooted himself closer to her, and slowly placed his arm over her side and brought her closer. she jolted at the contact and felt a little flustered.

• "you could've told me you were getting cold" he teased her. that was smooth

• she was going to comment on his smug remark, but she simply thanked him and rested closely to him.

• 'tom. now's your chance'

• time to suck it up and say it here and now

• deep breath. breathe in — out.

• "jesse, can i say something a little odd?"

• "you're odd to me already" she joked. "but go on"

• he takes a moment

• "remember when we first met?" he started

• "i really didn't think we'd become friends from there"

• "i thought i wasn't interesting enough to be your friend"

• "heck, i feel like edd, matt and to.rd combined are far more interesting than me"

• "when you asked me to go out with you today, i-.. i felt — it means a lot to me, y'know?"

• "you're really kind to me. not just me explicitly — but even to my friends, it gave me this hope that maybe not everyone is absolute garbage here."

• jesse listened closely, not saying a word

• "what i'm getting at — jesse."

• he turns to her, and holds both of her hands. oh how she was not expecting this turn of events

• "i— i, i think i like you. and i'd do anything to take that next level"

• he said it, he did it. a weight off his shoulders has been lifted. he's been harbouring these feelings for months now. he needed to tell someone.

• he stared at her intently, his lips zipped shut and nervously expects her response. holding her hands firmly.

• meanwhile, as his words escalated, she almost knew what he was going to say, and she was ready to respond back.

• "can i say something a little odd, too?" jesse replies

• his eyes widened to respond to her

• "i like you as much as you do, tom."

• "i'd love to go further with you too."

• he was speechless. she felt the same way too. there's really nothing much he could say, but he smiled, and pulled her closer for a hug, she did the same

• suddenly, loud explosions can be heard, along with bright flashes in the sky. the fireworks started now

• the sky glittered the dark night with the wonderfully synchronized explosions. it was absolutely gorgeous.

• they looked in adoration, while still holding each other. she leaned her head on his neck. she felt comfortable now, there's no use in hiding how much she wanted to be close to him now

• he, in turn also snuggles his head on her soft hair, it was the best feeling in the world.

• "merry christmas, jesse"

• he said it, what a turn of events!

~~

• back at edd's house, the boys were also having a good time, because tom isn't doing anything stupid! loud music blasted their room as they all sung together happily

• edd started to wonder if things went well with jesse and tom, given that his friend wasn't even home yet.

• suddenly they heard door knocks — that must be tom!!

• "MATT, TO.RD!! GET THE PRESENTS" edd loudly whispered. the duo nodded and grabbed blue colored gifts and a party popper

• "okay, i'm opening the door. let's greet him in unison. got it?"

• "go on edd!" "we're ready!" the two responded

• edd swings the door open, and the boys were ready to yell

• "MERRY CHRISTMAS, TO-"

• tom fell down face first on the floor

• ????? what??????

• "tom??!" edd was confused

• "AAGHHH LOOK THERE'S BLOOD ON HIS CHEEK!" matt cried out

• tord leaned closer to inspect tom, he rolled him over to check his face. tom looked like he was smiling even if he's... unconscious?

• that's not blood.....

• ... is that a kissmark?

• "is that lipstick?" tord was confused too

• edd realizes.

• "looks like tom had a good holiday after all." edd chuckles.

[sweetnsour1]

Dear sweet,

better late than never I would like to participate in your 1kweek question game.

I want to ask: w u t. 🤣

w. What's the last anime you watched? Who's your favorite character in it?

"The Legend of Vox Machina" (It's not an anime in the classic sense, but the drawing style reminds me of one. I hope that still counts xD)

It is an adult animated fantasy tv series based on campaign one of Critical Role, which is a Dungeons & Dragons web series. I highly recommend it, it is really fun to watch.

My favorite character is Vax, 'cause he is a fucking badass with a soft core and hot as hell. And I love his voice actor Liam O'Brien.

u. What is your nervous habit?

When I'm nervous or very focused, I pluck at my lower lip, even pulling off little scraps of skin. It doesn't hurt, but sometimes I overdo it and pull off too much, then it bleeds a little.

I got into this habit 5 years ago during my bachelor thesis. My husband hates when I do this, so I tried to break the habit once, but I had a relapse after a few months and now I'm living with it. But everytime my husband looks at me when I'm doing it, I remember what I'm doing and stop it - only to start again a few minutes later. 😅

t. Where was your last vacation? Would you go again?

On my last vacation I went to Scotland with my husband and a friend of mine. We hiked the West Highland Way. If you don't know it, this is one of the most famous hiking trails in Scotland. We walked a total of 135 km within 8 days (including one break day). It was quite exhausting and at the end our feet hurt a lot, but all in all it was super fun. The landscapes were fantastic (we hiked alongside a lake and moor, through fairytale like forests and over hills), we were really lucky with the weather, we drank good whiskey in the evening and I love British food and people anyway. An all around enjoyable vacation. I can highly recommend this walking tour and Scotland in general as a travel destination. I would go there again at any time.

Hello again, my little lamb🖤

W: Ooo I think I watched one episode of that and life got me distracted so I literally forgot about it until your message now lol. I’ll have to look it up and try it again!

I’ve been sick, so I’ve pretty much just been binging studio ghibli movies so I’m counting Princess Mononoke as my last watch. My favorite character would be mama wolf bc she is petty and I love it. My actual last anime watch was jjk 0. My love for Gojo is possibly unhealthier than my love for Bakugou, but I’m totally fine with that. 😂 it probably has something to do with my sick love for Howl Pendragon, who essentially is the og gojo

U: Fuck, nothing brings out stress like the world of academia. I do a lot of fidgeting with my fingernails. Like I trace the outline of my thumbnail with each finger and repeat that infinitely until my sister tosses a fidget toy at my face. I’ve also been gifted fidget spinner rings which help a lot with that as well. However, sometimes thats way louder and more annoying to people 😂

T: I. AM. SO. JEALOUS. Scotland is like my dreammmmmm vacation. I just want to be surrounded by grass and mist and rain and whiskey and that accent. Just wanna seduce a sexy ginger that I can barely understand and live there forever.

My last trip was a resort in Santa Fe, New Mexico. It was a compromise bc my sister wanted a trip that was like a spa thing but I can’t stand having strangers touch me sooo we went for a place with hot springs! It was so fun being able to hop into the springs any time of day you wanted. It was crazy relaxing. And it was cold there still so I was in loooooove. The day it snowed and we could still be outside in bathing suits 🖤🖤🖤 10/10 would recommend and now want to go to all hot springs everywhere bc I am ADDICTED

Thanks for telling and asking!

Last day for the game

[jamesbuckybarnes19174]

message to james: omg !! hehehe u look so hot jamie!!!! <3333 *sends of selfie of myself smiling with bruce in the background* hard at work !

*turns and smiles widely when i see u, kissing u back passionately, smiling as i pull away* i love you… i’ll be thinkin’ of you too… and that selfie of yours… *giggles and smiles, poking ur side, pecking ur lips back, hugging u tightly, smiling and waving as u leave*

voice message to jamie: hi baby… i miss you… miss my sleepy baby… *giggles softly* mmm… i loved that picture jamie… *giggles* it was so hot… you look so hot n sweaty like that… just wanna… love up on you… help you relax after your workout… *chuckles* ‘m blushin’… *giggles* anyways… thank you for the kiss baby! i loved it and i love you for visiting… it was so nice to see your face baby… your handsome face… and as much as i love it when you’re all sweaty, was happy you came to me after your shower *giggles* cause you smell so nice! the soaps you use… i love them… just reminds me of you… and mhm! was a good hug baby… i love hugging you! just feel so safe n warm in my arms… *giggles* mmm you would’ve definitely distracted me baby… you and your kisses… you’re too addictive jamie! *snorts* i would’ve just shoved it all aside to kiss you! *giggles* bruce would’ve definitely known what we were taking a bathroom break for… *giggles* take me against the door hmm? we should try that next time… maybe not at work but at home? just… take me… toss me around *giggles* would be hot, hmm? *chuckles softly and then trails off* mmm, i don’t mind that you get all worked up jamie… it makes me feel good… cause i must be making you feel pretty good if you wanna play a lot! *giggles* and also helps boost my self esteem a little too… *giggles* thank you for the clothes baby… ‘m excited for that… more excited to cuddle you though… cuddle you hard! *giggles* and i think you’re the best jamie… you visit me at work… give me hugs n kissies… remind me to pack dinner… send me sweet messages… you’re sweet jamie… feel… just feel really lucky to have someone like you in my life… ‘m glad it’s all good for you… cause it’s all been really good for me… and i’ve loved getting to know you so much jamie… you’re beautiful, inside and out… i can’t wait for what the future has in store for us! just will probably find more things to fall in love with about you everyday… i love you… i got you and you got me jamie… you’re my love… my heart… my everything… *chuckles* cheesy but… it’s all true… and ‘m yours and you’re mine! all mine *giggles* i’ll take care of you and love you forever… mhm! ‘m coming home now to cuddle you hard and give you the best cuddles! *giggles* i love you james…

*comes back, changing into the clothes u leave me, climbs into bed, then gently kisses all over ur face, snuggling myself in ur arms, moving as close to u as i can, falling asleep*

*wakes up later, seeing your message, smiling then listens to your message, blushing a little as I do, then puts my phone down, hugging you tightly against me*

[corpsedaydream]

Hi! Thank you for writing for Corpse!

Anyway, how about scenario when after some stressing things (like going for groceries or medical treatment etc) corpse came home just to see s/o in his hoodie that just too big for her?? Fluff and all??

Thank you again and sorry for bad eng :D

thank u for reading them cutie!! 🖤

oof this is a cute idea, here we go

update: this turned out longer than i planned, but i’m not mad about it! hope u enjoy

word count: 1.3k

_________________________

cold hands, warm neck

You had no idea what time it was when you awoke. You’d been spending your time off at your boyfriends house and after four days of trying your best to match his sleep schedule - not wanting to miss out on any moments with him - it finally caught up to you and you had crashed hard.

The night before, Corpse told his friends he was taking a quick bathroom break from streaming, except it wasn’t a bathroom break, you hadn’t replied to any of his messages he’d sent you while he was in there and he was getting a little worried. He was surprised to hear no noise around the house. Usually when he opened his office door for the past few days, he’d hear you watching something quietly from the couch, or facetiming one of your friends, or laughing at something on your phone. He’d gotten so used to it that when it was dead silent, the anxiety started to build ever so slightly.

The living room and kitchen showed up empty, and as he turned around, he caught that his bedroom door was opened.

“(Y/N),” Corpse called your name as he began walking closer, but you didn’t respond and his anxiety grew. 

“Baby?” He tried again, reaching the doorway and looking in and that’s when he saw you and relief flooded through him.

He had gotten used to you staying awake with him these past couple of days, but he knew himself you couldn’t keep that up the whole time you were there. In reality, he was expecting a moment like this to happen.

You were deep asleep, not moving an inch and chest moving so slowly but rhythmically to signal how peaceful you were. There were telltale signs that you unintentionally fell asleep. You were still atop his covers, and he’d come to learn you loved to be curled up under a duvet. Your hair was still up in it’s scrunchie and he’d come to learn you slept with it out or you woke up a little grumpy because of the headache it caused. Your water bottle was leaning against your arm and he’d come to learn you always placed it on the floor before sleeping, you’d told him about the few times when you woke up freezing after they’d leak. Your phone was still half in your hand, but it was dead, signalling that you were probably scrolling through Tiktok or Twitter and fell asleep doing so.

He took a moment to look over you, he wanted to remember this picture in his mind, before he went into action to make sure you were sleeping how he knew you preferred.

First he removed your water bottle, second he grabbed your phone and plugged it on charge for you before placing it on his bedside table. Next came the actions he was worried would wake you.

With gentle hands, he pulled the scrunchie from your hair, allowing your hair to sprawl over his pillow and next he went to work with trying to get the covers out from under you and over you, instead.

It seemed Corpse really underestimated just how deep asleep you were, because you didn’t stir once through this process. If he was honest with himself, there was a part of him that had selfishly wished you had woken up, just so he could kiss you and hold you for a moment to tell you good night and hear your sleepy voice. But he knew you needed this, he couldn’t expect you to keep up with his sleeping pattern. So he settled with leaving a gentle peck against your forehead and whispering a quiet “sweet dreams, baby,” before going back to his stream.

You were somewhat delirious when you did finally wake up. After a few nights of barely sleeping to catching up on all those missed hours in one night, you couldn’t even be sure what day it was.

“Corpse?” Even your voice was a little croaky, laced with sleep. You rubbed your hands over your eyes before spotting your phone on charge. Slow hands grabbed it, unplugging the charger seeing that it was now on 100% before looking to see if Corpse had messaged you anything. And sure enough, you discovered he had gone out, but he promised to be home soon. Something you didn’t doubt, knowing he didn’t enjoy being out of his place.

Whilst waiting, you took a shower but when you got out, it was seemingly a lot colder today.

Did I even pack anything warm? You wondered to yourself, Corpse lived somewhere it rarely became cold and you were left empty handed when looking through your own belongings for a hoodie. Then you spotted a hoodie of Corpses sitting on the end of his bed and without thinking twice, you slipped the black article of clothing over your body. It made you miss him, it felt right to be wearing his clothes, but it made you want his arms around you, too.

You decided on waiting for him on the couch, it was close to the front door and you had just spent well enough hours in his bed.

It wasn’t long before you heard the locks of his front door being switched opened and instantly the smile grew on your face as your heart fluttered with excitement. You’d spent almost every minute with him since being here, so the time spent sleeping and him going out felt long.

You watched him as he walked in the front door. He hadn’t noticed you at first. And you could see why in his face, he was distracted, stressed from the task that really took a toll on him and you wished he’d woken you up so you could’ve gone with him or even for him.

“Hi.” You greeted your boyfriend.

“Fuck,” You caught him off guard, and you couldn’t help but to laugh as he made a little a stumble and dropped the bag that was in his hand. “You’re awak- is that mine?” He quickly cut himself off, his eyes landing on you and dropping down to look over the familiar black hoodie that completely engulfed you in the most heart warming way.

“Oh, yeah, I didn’t bring anything warm.” You spoke, lifting your arms as you spoke and looking at the material that was so baggy all over you, but so comfortable. “I should’ve asked, sorry.” You apologised but all he could focus on was how perfect you looked. So cozy but also fresh and well rested after the deep sleep you had.

“No, no. It’s okay. I love it.” He assured you and you began blushing, placing your hands that were completely covered by the sleeves over your face.

“Corpse, stop.”

“I’m serious, you don’t know how much better this has made me feel.” He told you honestly, and that’s when you brought your hands down from your face and instead opened your arms to him.

“Come here.” You told him simply and he didn’t waste a second before he accepted the invitation and embraced you fully.

Your body automatically moved back to lay against the arm of the couch as he joined you by resting on top of you. You jumped slightly as his arms rounded you and his cool hands slid under the hoodie, his touch wanting to feel your bare skin.

“Sorry baby, you’re just so warm.” Corpse told you before leaving a kiss against your neck and resting his head there. “Every part of you, too.” Even his nose felt cold as he nuzzled it against where he’d just left the kiss.

“Why are you so cold?” You asked between laughs, bringing your own arms around him, too, wanting to be as close as possible.

“I had to go outside.” He sighed and his reply took the humour out of your words.

“Are you okay?” You didn’t hesitate to ask him, brushing your fingers through his hair.

He nodded his head against you. “Don’t wanna talk about it right now. Just want to be with you.”

“Okay.”

[folkloreguk]

French Class [2]

A/N: I hope you all enjoy this part! I’m excited to put out more parts soon!

genre: optional bias (m) x reader (f), smut, oral (f receiving), car sex, dirty talk, college!au, nerd!reader, fuckboy!bias

words: 4.4 k

✽series masterlist✽

taglist (lmk if u wanna be added!): @lovely-ateez

“And then he asked me if I would wear his tie around my neck while he- Hello? Earth to Y/N? Are you there?” Your roommate, Chohee, waved her hand in front of your face from across the table. You had occupied the seats in the back of the Chinese restaurant, in a niche where you were mostly hidden from other customers. Turns out, for all the spicy stories she had in store – as always – that had been a great idea.

“I swear your thoughts have been all over the place lately. Are you sure you have nothing to talk about?” She twirled a strand of her dyed pink hair around her fingers while she mustered you suspiciously.

“I’m sorry, I zoned out. It’s nothing, I’m just tired. I’ve been studying day and night. Looks like you’re the only one with the stories today. Just start again from the part where he got the whipped cream from the fridge,” you said.

“We went over that part five minutes ago! Have you paid any attention?” Chohee shook her head with a grin. Then she began her bedroom-adventure story from the beginning, because she knew as well as you, she loved talking about it.

Truth was, you had one hell of a story to tell. And no, you had not been paying attention. Not because you were tired. Not because you had studying on your mind. But because one hundred percent of your focus was currently directed at the boy only a few tables from yours. You only saw the back of his head, but there was no doubt about his identity. The mop of hair was unmistakable. Plus, he was in his famous black leather jacket. There was no mistaking this piece of clothing. It was decorated with white splatters of acrylic paint and had his name written messily across the top of his back. You could just about make out the tips of the letters as he leaned back comfortably, legs spread on his chair, chatting to his friend.

Chohee had no idea about the grip the person behind her had on you. She was your closest friend, and yet you hadn’t broken the news to her: You were hooking up (and not just once) with the so-called “hottest guy on campus”. AT least those had been her words when she had first told you about him. Lately you had to admit, you were starting to agree. It wasn’t like you wanted to keep secrets from her. In fact, on many occasions you had almost crumbled and told her the full story. Had she not been such a chatterbox, and did she not love gossiping as much as she did, you swore she would already know about your little arrangement with him.

She was aware of this much: You and him were casual friends. Study buddies, one would say. You had subtly passed over the little details of your friendship. How grocery store visits sometimes turned into visits to his dorm because of a simple text of his, or how you had sneaked out on more than one occasion in the middle of the night because he had told you his dormmates weren’t home. It wasn’t weird to Chohee that you brushed over the particularities of your “one-night-stands” when you returned in the mornings. You had never been as big on sharing as she was.

Maybe you wanted to keep things to yourself out of fear what people would say, too. You couldn’t care less whether people knew you were sleeping around. But everyone knew him, or so it seemed. Girls wanted him. Boys wanted to be him. All you desired was his friendship and some fun. You had no interest in being known on campus or having people you’ve never met giving you the side-eye over having sex with an oh-so-special boy. One day you would tell Chohee all about it. You weren’t technically lying. Just not sharing the entire story.

“Remember how I said H/N was the hottest guy ever?” Chohee suddenly said. The sound of his name made your head snap back to reality.

“Oh, now you’re listening, I see. All it takes is for me to mention your new bestie,” she teased. “You shouldn’t get too attached to him. I have a feeling that girls are interchangeable to him, either way. Anyway, I’ve decided I find his friend Korain much more attractive, since I’ve been hooking up with him.”

Would it be weird to correct her? To promise her, when you had more time and weren’t so distracted, you would lay the truth on her? He isn’t like that at all, you wanted to say. Yes, he liked female attention. But that didn’t make him a bad guy. Would it sound crazed to explain how he knew how you took your coffee, and how he sent you pictures of your favorite animals before your exams to take some of the nerves away? Or how he reported that it took him exactly 1,012 steps to get to your dorm from his place? Multiple times you had tried to count the distance yourself, but you never seemed to have enough focus to make it. Something always caught you off guard. You had doubted his credibility, but he swore he wasn’t bluffing.

Speaking of his friend Korain – who was at this very Chinese restaurant with H/N – he was suddenly making eye contact with you. Before you could slide lower into your seat like a frightened animal, he had grinned at you. Oh no. Prompted by his friend’s smile in your direction, H/N now turned his head. You were thankful Chohee was still deep in her explanation on why she had changed her opinions on the two very boys only a few tables away. If only she knew.

H/N’s eyes caught yours and a smirk plastered on his face. You assumed the tiny smile you sent him would do, but no. The two young men had collected their things and were getting ready to leave. The exit was the opposite direction, and yet H/N took the long way there. His stride was that of a model as he approached your table.

“Y/N,” he said, voice sweet like sugar candy and his smile charming like famous artwork. “You wanna hang at the library later?”

Chohee was now eyeing him as if she was your bodyguard and he was an obsessed fan who had crossed into your personal space. All you could think of was how you wanted him as your dessert. Now. But you had an exam coming up in a few days. So, his invitation fit just right.

“I’ll be there.” You smiled politely. He gave you a raised eyebrow, but then nodded, said goodbye, spun around and followed his friend out of the restaurant. When you looked at Chohee, she was already giving you eyes that asked a billion questions at once. Fantastic. Now you’d have to explain that “hang at the library” was not some sort of codeword for sex, but you had – against all odds – convinced the local prince of fuckboys that studying wasn’t such an atrocious idea after all. But fate saved you before you could begin your clarification.

“Oh no! Where has the time gone? I have to get to my afternoon lecture!” Chohee exclaimed, quickly gathering her purse and jacket. “My professor will curse me if I’m late again!”

And with that, she scrambled up from the table. “Don’t think you’re getting off easy just because I have to go! I demand a good story when I get home!”

You knew she was just being dramatic, and should you decide to keep everything to yourself for another month, she wouldn’t be mad. And yet, the urge to tell her crept up on you as you watched her hurry out of the door while waving one last time. Your morning classes had been the only appointment in your calendar for the day. So, with nothing else to do, you fished for your phone to message him for a time to meet at the library.

~

“What were you being so weird for earlier?” he asked as he plopped down on the wooden chair across from you. His books slammed on the table, and you flinched a little. Boys.

“Thanks for reminding me why I chose to sit in the group project area today. Could you be any louder in a library?” you said. “And thank god we’re the only ones here.”

“Thanks for reminding me that you’re still great at avoiding questions,” he returned.

“I just didn’t want my friend to ask questions.”

“So you talked to me like a five year old would respond to their kindergarten teacher? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me? The guy with the reputation?”

“No, I’m not. Wait? What? And what kind of reputation would that be, if I may ask? The you-only-sleep-with-a-girl-once-reputation?”

“You should know the nastiest rumors mostly prove to be false. I was thinking of something more delightful. Like a gives-the-best-head-on-campus-kind of reputation.”

You snorted. “And who is going to do the research to prove that?”

“Why don’t you look around and report back to me?” he smirked.

“No thanks. I’m already hooking up with a guy who’s more than a handful.”

He faked taking offence in your words with a theatrical gasp. “Is that so? The girl I’m hooking up with isn’t much better. Always asks to hang at the library like she doesn’t beg me to fuck her the second we get out of there.”

“Let me remind you that you were the one who suggested this place today,” you said. “I was ready to jump into your bed and you had to stall time like this.”

“Are you for real? What are we still doing here, then?” he asked, and you tilted your head with a suggestive grin that mirrored his.

15 minutes later:

“Who the fuck stores five umbrellas in their car?” You kicked another one off the backseat you were lying on. Your bra was exposed beneath your shirt which he had pushed up on your chest and was now attacking the exposed skin with hungry kisses.

“That’s what you get for not getting it on in the library,” he muttered against your skin without looking up.

“We’d be asking to get suspended from there by doing that,” you said. “And I cherish my library very much.”

He only made a snickering noise and shook his head before he went to take off his shirt – and promptly hit his head on the car roof. “Ow! This sucks. I can barely move.”

“That’s what you get for not waiting until we’re at your place,” you teased him with his own words. But judging by the prominent bulge in his pants, you supposed you didn’t want him driving anywhere. Not with naughty things on his mind, and with you next to him to only make him hornier. Your eyes fell on the dark purple spots on his abdomen, and you grinned.

“Wow. Someone must have worked hard to make that stomach even prettier,” you said.

“Yeah, you would know all about that, wouldn’t you?” He bent down to your ear and his husky tone sent cold shivers up your spine. Of course, you knew. You were the one who bit and sucked the hickeys into his skin two days ago, after all. His hands palming your boobs through your bra drew out a desperate sigh from you.

“Let’s play a game. What do you say?” he asked.

“What kind of game would that be?” Your interest was roused. He was lost in thought for a moment, hands slowly running up and down your exposed legs. Luckily, you had opted for a skirt today. All he’d had to do was to push it up to your belly and get rid of your underwear after your short but very steamy make-out session on the backseat. The cool air on your exposed core was only magnifying your impatience.

“Whoever comes first, loses.” You couldn’t suppress a chuckle at his idea, and he eyed you with indignation. “You don’t like it?”

“Everyone knows women take longer to orgasm than men do,” you said. “Are you trying to dig your own grave or what?”

“That’s why I’ll have a head start,” he announced. His hands circled the skin close to your core, creeping up your thighs slowly.

“And what’s the prize for winning?”

“The loser owes the winner a favor.”

“Too vague. I don’t trust you with that.”

“I don’t trust you, she says as she waits for me to fuck her in my car,” he mocked.

“I don’t trust your crazy ideas,” you clarified. “What about this? The winner pays for the loser’s next meal when we eat together.”

“Deal.” He slid his fingers over your pussy, and you crumbled into a whining mess within seconds. No matter how much your head denied it, he really was the best. He caught your clit between his digits and your eyes rolled to the back of your head for a moment.

“Shit, you only turn me on more if you’re going to moan like that.” He lowered his head and spit on your center, and the laughter that had been bubbling in your throat died in an instant. His fingers rubbed your nub fast and spread his saliva – without doubt his attempt at tipping you closer to the edge before he had even begun to fuck you.

“Too bad you find me so hot,” you said, and let out a purposely dramatic whimper, followed by his name in your best fake-porn-voice. His smile had something wholesome, as if he was admiring his friend making silly jokes, but also a glint of playfulness. You knew had been a mask when he bit his lip and exhaled slowly. With ease, he slid his middle finger into you. As he curled it against your sweet spot, he bent down to suck on your clit and your back arched at the sudden pleasure.

“Too bad you’re going to lose,” he said, and then continued his antics. Had he continued this way for another few minutes, his words wouldn’t have been so far from the truth. But you had other plans.

“Are you going to fuck me now?” you asked. “That’s enough of your head start.”

“I only just tasted you. Why would it be called a head start, if you’re going to stop me two minutes into giving you head?” he asked and you would’ve slapped his shoulder, had he been close enough. Instead, you closed your eyes for a few seconds. He was the competitive one here, and you didn’t mind enjoying yourself for now. Sighing in temporary defeat, your head fell back onto the seat. The sun was shining its last rays through the car window. They caught in his curled eyelashes and on his skin, coloring him golden.

“That’s a good girl,” he said, arm snaking around your thigh. He held on to you, but it wasn’t as if you could have moved away from him. Your head was right by the car door. His lips around your clit paired with his finger steadily rubbing against your sweet spot inside of you made you feel like floating. His free hand touched your leg gently, caressing your skin as if he wasn’t also simultaneously pushing you to the urge to yell out his name in pleasure. You tangled your fingers in his soft hair, as if you needed to do so to keep him in place. But something in the back of your mind still had a desire for winning. Trying to collect the last bits of your dwindling sanity, you hatched a plan. Good on you – you knew just what rode him into madness.

“I- I need you to fuck me, please,” you begged, making sure to add an extra layer of tragedy to your voice. “Please, I want it so bad.”

He looked up at you, a dark glint in his eyes. Of course, he did. All was going according to plan. It wasn’t like you had known him all your life, but you were perfectly aware of one thing. He could never resist your dirty talking and begging.

“Please?” you bat your eyelashes ever so longingly at him.

“Is that so?” He was now straightening up. His black pupils were dilated, and he was looking at you with the expectation of a loyal puppy waiting for his treat. You grabbed the front hem of his pants and pulled him towards you. In a moment, you had unzipped the material for him.

“I want you to fuck me like you did the first time we met. At the party,” you said. “Do you ever think about it, too?”

“Fuck, of course I do,” he said. Faster than you could register, he was ripping a condom wrapper and sliding it onto his free length. His cock stood angry and hard against his stomach. Perhaps your dramatic words weren’t so far-fetched. You couldn’t wait for him.

“Then do it, please,” you said. “Right now, this pussy is all yours. Use it the way it should be used.”

He muttered a swear under his breath and you knew he was in the palm of your hand. His hot breath fanned your neck as he bent over you, cock aligned with your exposed core. For a moment his length slid through your wetness, and he groaned at the warmth that was about to engulf him.

“I’m so fucking wet,” you moaned. “And all for you.”

You would have been lying if you said you weren’t enjoying the exaggerated show you were putting on for him as much as he did. Although, you weren’t sure whether you were allowed to call it exaggeration, at all. Your walls clenched around nothing as the tip of his cock touched your juices and he eyed you like he could’ve eaten you up right then and there.

When he finally entered you, he instantly sighed. His eyes were shut tightly as he dealt with the impact of feeling you around his shaft. A small spark of triumph went through you. That was, until he pushed your legs up and snapped his hips against yours. A sharp, sudden burst of pleasure shot through you and the coil in your stomach tightened all at once. You suspected your plan was backfiring slightly. Your words not only appealed to him and his famished mind and body. They also got to your head, and there you were, barely able to contain yourself under a load of blind hunger.

“You want me to fuck you senseless, huh?” he asked. His words went straight to your core. Nonetheless, you had a goal to work towards and you weren’t set on giving up.

“Yes, oh my god,” you whimpered. “That’s all I’m asking for. Please, I know you can. You always fuck me so well.”

In response, he rammed his body into yours so abruptly, you gave off a noise of surprise and pleasure at the same time. He bent his upper body over yours to support himself. His hands lay flat on the seat on both sides of your head. His thrusts made your legs shake now and then, when his cock hit that one spot inside of you. It was causing you to see entire galaxies on the inside of your eyelids. When you blinked up at him, the sun had disappeared beyond the horizon. Darkness had always suit him better than the golden sunset, either way. The muscles in his arms flexed and his eyebrows furrowed, and for a moment you called victory yours. But you couldn’t be sure for longer than a moment.

Because from one second to another he straightened up and slowed his thrusts. The gradualness had something equally as striking. He dragged his cock through your scarlet walls and his fingers found your clit. You drew out a ragged breath and cursed him for regaining the upper hand. Yet, you quickly abandoned the thought of defeat. When you allowed yourself to feel the pleasure, every last thought vanished at last. You moaned and whimpered helplessly. Without overthinking, you wrapped your hand around his wrist. He shot you a confused smirk.

“Too much, baby?” he said. “Think you won’t be able to handle it? A shame. It would really be too bad if you lost. You were doing so well up to now.”

You swallowed, hard. His patronizing voice tugged at your nerves and yet you loved when he spoke to you this way during sex. And he was aware of it – hence his knowing grin.

“Don’t stop moving,” you asked him to keep up his thrusts. “It’s not fair, otherwise.”

“Oh no. I would never dare break the rules,” he said.

He did as you said, and it only made things more mind-consuming for you. You were again reminded of the small tornado raging in the pit of your belly, threatening to consume you all over. It was only a matter of time. But what he could do, you could do better.

“Do you like fucking me in my skirt?” you taunted him, blinking ever so sweetly. Your eyes were dripping honey as you put on your most innocent gaze. “Am I pretty like this?”

“You’re the prettiest,” he muttered, biting his lip as if he was stopping a thousand moans from spilling out. “So. Fucking. Hot.”

“If I wear this skirt to class tomorrow, and you see me in the halls, will you think of this moment?” you asked. His fingers on your clit were shaky and moving unevenly. You might have been digging your own grave along with his. You didn’t care. Too many lectures you had wasted, barely able to concentrate because of the boy on top of you.

“Definitely. You weren’t wearing that earlier, at the restaurant,” he said. You wondered how many people had ever seen him this way – utterly breathless, all his cool vaporizing at once.

“Good observation,” you said, but you were struggling with your words as much as he was unable to keep calm. What was meant to sound lazy and seductive had morphed into a whimper and small sighs. “I wasn’t. I- I put it on just for you.”

He cursed again and abandoned all his remaining self-control. His grip on you was iron-tight and you clenched your fists. Oh, how you wished you could have buried your head into a pillow, or better even, the crook of a neck. Instead, you moaned his name almost soundlessly and searched for his dark eyes.

“Say my name again,” he demanded, like it was his last request on earth. So, you obeyed, only because you would have done anything for him right now, if it meant that he would keep fucking you that way.

“Oh my- my god,” you moaned. “Please don’t stop, fuck-“

“You look so hot right now, baby,” he groaned. “Shit- I could come just looking at you.”

“Then do it,” you said. Challengingly, you both smirked at each other. It lasted only the blink of an eye. You felt your insides twist before you could have prevented it. And all of a sudden, you crashed. Your intense orgasm erupted, and it took you several seconds to realize it, but then you heard it. His high-pitched moans, quiet and curse-stricken, could only mean one thing. You weren’t the only one, and therefore not the first to reach your high. A content smile spread on your face as his messy thrusts went on for a short while and you bathed in the remaining moments of bliss.

Silence set in as you both kept still to catch your breaths. You worried he would pin the loss on you, nonetheless, and inwardly braced yourself for his accusations. But to your surprise, he only laughed and collapsed on top of you. His breath tickled your neck slightly.

“We’ll be splitting the bill, I suppose?” he said. He straightened up to look you in the eyes playfully.

“Looks like it,” you said. You guessed his fighting spirit had been appeased and his energy had been spent on better things than arguing with you. You never minded it.

~

“Did you have a nice study session? Does the library lady assume you’re homeless and actually living there, yet?” Chohee teased as you entered your shared kitchen. She was typing on her phone but looked up when you only laughed.

“Is that a hickey?” she asked, and you knew you were done for. “What exactly is it you were studying? H/N’s body?”

“I guess I should tell you. Sooner or later, you’ll know,” you relented.

“Tell me what? Oh my god. Are you guys dating? Are you dating H/N?”

“No! You know I have no time for a boyfriend,” you said. “But…we’ve been hooking up.”

“Damn girl,” she said. “What do you have on him that he keeps coming back?”

“Excuse me? Am I really that boring of a company?”

“No. You’re the best company I could ever ask for, obviously,” she said, smiling at you. “But you remember his reputation. He sleeps with the same girl only once.”

“It’s just a stupid rumor,” you said. “Besides, we’re not just hooking up. He’s my friend. You already knew that.”

“Friend, huh?” Chohee asked. “Alright. So, you’re telling me he can hang out with you without trying to get it on?”

“He can, actually. And let me tell you, he’s cool. And pretty funny, too,” you said. She raised her eyebrows at you. “We’ve set some rules. We hook up, but also hang out as friends. Neither is allowed to be upset when the other turns down sex. We can both hook up with anyone else, still. No jealousy, no attachments. Just a good time.”

“Alright,” Chohee nodded. “If you’re so close, do you think you could introduce me to some of his friends sometime?”

You laughed, nodding. Chohee and H/N had quite some things in common, you realized then. Maybe that’s why you liked the two of them so much.

“Let’s see how long that lasts, then. Don’t wrap him too tightly around your finger, or he might trip and fall,” she winked. It was your turn to raise your eyebrow. Whatever she might have been insinuating – you had zero plans of making it reality. (Yet.)

[kazuwhora]

Hello, I am so sorry if i am making you feel uncomfortable in any way, but i'm looking for something to keep me together and you always made me smile. Would it be a bother to ask if you could write some fluff about Baji comforting a f!reader, it is on you if they're together or not yet, after a really bad fight with her abusing mother?

Again, it is totally okay if you would not like to write something like this, it is just some self indulgence i guess.

I really love your work and am going to read anything you'd write.

Thank you so much for your work, you really make me happy. It makes me feel like i can be a silly and carefree teenager giggling again 💕

hi baby <3 I don't take requests but your message was so sweet and cute so I decided to write a little blurb on it anyways 🖤 ty for supporting my blog and taking the time to tell me that!! I love u and I hope u enjoy <3 whatever you're going through I hope it gets better and that you're okay!!

cw. fem!reader, mentions of abuse, fluff, lil bit of angst, rly just cheesy love hehe

wc. 553

there were never words to describe the relationship you had with your mother— no dictionary definitions that could ever encompass the damage she left on you, or the way she hit every part of your spirit until you were nothing but a broken doll just waiting to be used again. but she was your mother— bound by blood, never to be separated. a mother's love came in many forms, she would claim, as she knocked your conscience and sense of judgement down with each passing day. she had you wrapped around her finger, tied in a bow with resentment and sealed off with a bond you thought you could never break.

baji never understood it. the so-called mother's love that he faced was nothing like yours. he boasted proudly about his mom, exclaiming that everything he did was for her, and she poured the love back, indulging him in his studies, caring for him when he was hurt, and loving his friends nonetheless. it was hard to accept that there was any way of loving your child that differed from your own experiences, and the resentment that tied you to her finger often bubbled in anguish at the sight of such a sickly bond between mother and son. but time after time he was there for you, and this time was no different.

your hair was wet from the rain, feet sore and drenched as you kicked off your flip flops and caught your breath. baji watched you, brows furrowed because he had seen this before. he had seen the way your face flushed with every fight you got into, or the way your hands clenched into fists at your sides as your lip quivered with the refusal to cry. he didn't like seeing you like this, and he often felt useless, even when his house was the first you went to when things got bad.

baji already had a towel in hand, pulling you in to the living room as he wrapped it around your hair and fastened it around your neck. tears pricked at your eyes as you tried to hold back, and baji knew he was needed more than ever. so he sat you down on the couch, collecting his pile of blankets he had hoarded as he began dumping them on top of you until you squirmed to escape.

"baji" you hissed, as the tears retreated and your brows crinkled to a frown.

"you looked cold" he was beaming, fangs catching his lip as he threw another blanket at your face. you dodged it with a giggle, unable to deny his antics that always served as a distraction. but baji knew that you were safe, and that much was enough for him. "come here" he muttered, moulding the blankets into a small nest in his lap. you hesitated, but his softened eyes made it hard to resist. crawling into the space in his lap, he wrapped the blankets around you, and pulled the towel from your damp hair. with his face pressed against the top of your head, one had stroked your tangled hair and he hummed.

"you know I'll always love you"

warmth flooded your senses with his words, coursing through your brains and warming your heart as he hugged you tighter against his chest.

"always and forever"

[loyally-unfaithful]

domestic life hc—tartaglia | childe

word count: 2.8k

pairing: tartaglia | childe/gn!reader

genre: fluff

a/n:  idk man i got the childe brainrot,, fictional kgb member, i love you <3

who kisses the other on the nose and the one receiving the kiss blushes?

childe would do it a lot to you, especially at the beginning of your relationship.

not that he doesn’t like giving you nose kisses—he still loves kissing you in general <3

it’s just that when you both just started out, your reaction would be more potent. you’d be more flustered, stammering as you stared him with wide eyes.

if you asked him why, he’d give a smile that’s so painfully honeyed, while his eyes twinkled with mischief.

« you’re just too cute when you act all shy. » his voice teasing.

but here’s the secret.

he is not immune to nose boops.

do not hesitate to do it to him!! give him a taste of his own medicine!!!

he will not expect your boldness and he will be caught very off guard.

his own reaction would be just or even more incredible than yours, actually sksksksk.

tease him and reap the rewards man.

he’d snap up and blink at you, surprised. not quite believing that yes, actually, two can play at this game. he’d try to stutter out a witty comeback, but it holds no bite due to the furious blush covering his face.

either way, the both of you would laugh it out.

nowadays tho, you mostly just playfully roll your eyes at him and smile lazily, waiting until he gives you a kiss on the lips too.

who sits on their partner’s lap as they wrap their arms around their partners neck?

this man is your throne and you will sit on your rightful place.

real talk tho, childe makes a p decent chair considering. and he actually likes having you on his lap—it gives him free and unrestricted access to everything.

his arms would snake around your waist, pulling you closer to him. he’s not letting his prey you go anytime soon, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

as you wrap your arms around his neck, his hands may even wander elsewhere.

maybe you’ll simply hold each other close, tenderly closing the distance between the two of you, happy to have his affection, and him yours.

or maybe he’ll take it as an opportunity to kiss you, roughly, with desire, with want, until you’re breathless and your lips are bruised. this position, you think, as you feel his hand sneak under your clothes and trace your bare skin (which now feels unbearably hot), may also lead to something else. something more.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

who kisses the inside of their partner’s palm before reassuring them everything is going to be okay?

before setting off on his travels, childe would press a gentle kiss on the inside of your hand, reassuring. it’s a message, a reminder, a promise.

a promise that he’ll stay safe, that’ll he’ll return to you, unharmed.

he does it to soothe your worries and let you know that there was nothing to be worried about—he doesn’t want you to get all stressed on his behalf. as much as it pains him to part from you for too long, he needs to do what he must; but he’ll be thinking of you and your health every step of the way.

so like

to go on a bit of a tangent

we know that childe’s work, as a fatui—a harbinger no less—is of course very dangerous. and even though he’s more than capable of handling whatever his travels throw at him, you can’t help but be worried for him.

and i also feel like, if you didn’t know this [his true nature] from the get-go, he’d hide his actual line of work or obfuscate most of the details from you.

it’s because he doesn’t want to stress you with the more gruesome details.

if you were never aware of the darker side of his profession, then he’d rather not have your perception of him be tainted. in your eyes, he was just sweet, darling tartaglia—not the murderer or weapon of war that he really was—and he'd prefer to keep it that way.

he’s aware that fatuis get bad rap as is, and he doesn’t know how he’d feel if his status made you afraid of him, or even worse, detest him. you hating him was the last thing he wanted.

you generally respect his boundaries, and accept whatever vague descriptions he gives you about his current “commission” (location, length of time). you have your doubts about his work as a “merchant”, but you have faith that he’ll see his endeavours through, even if you yourself are unsure and concerned.

anyway i…

i’m getting horribly off topic 0A0

moving on—

who initiates the forehead touch™?

after a long day of gruelling work, he’d probably long for your touch and affection, without exactly having the energy left to really vocalise his feelings. 

or at least, eloquently.

that’s why on quiet evenings, he’d seek you out and gently press his forehead against yours, pleased; you happy enough to follow his lead.

maybe childe lays his head on your lap while you play with his hair, untangling knots that have somehow formed in his unruly hair. at some point, he may reach out and pull you closer, close enough that your foreheads are touching. close enough to feel his warm breath fan your face.

you have to bend down a bit, and truthfully the position’s awkward, but your back’s protests are the last thing in your mind as you stare back into his pearlescent blue eyes.

despite his weariness, your comfort brings a smile to his face.

sometimes, he may even murmur something about how happy he was to be back home.

no words are exchanged, but there doesn’t need to be.

the love is there, and the both of you are content enough to simply revel in it.

where do they first say “I love you”?

things such as “i love you” and “i need you” are hard to utter for childe.

it’s a sign of weakness for him, and it’s a sign of weakness he does not wish to reveal nor acknowledge. if he says it, if he says that he loves you, he’s admitting a defect.

he has very little allies, and his enemies would not hesitate to take advantage of any leverage they can get. he doesn’t want you to be in danger because of him, he doesn’t want you to be used against him.

so admitting such vulnerability is very difficult for him.

however, though childe may be cold and calculated, tartaglia, ajax, is a man of feelings.

despite his consternation, he puts great importance over his loyalties and whom he offers his love to.

the first time he admits that he loves you, it is with great difficulty, as if it was a sin he shan’t utter.

he loves you, he thinks, but he cannot vocalise.

the first time he admits it, it was an accident. an impulse, the words whispered out against his consent, escaping before he was able to hold them in.

he carelessly lets the phrase out, and a part of him regrets while the other rejoices.

you make him weak when no other stands a chance to subjugate him so.

he hates it and he loves it oh so much.

it’s so so dangerous, and yet he is addicted.

he loves you.

who wraps their arms around their partner who’s cooking?

ok so like, it’s canon:

his siblings acknowledge him as the “the bestest big brother ever!” because he can cook and do housework. we stan a househusband.

anyway, this means that he’s at least a decent chef.

but because of his busy schedule as a harbinger, he rarely ever finds the time to cook, or to even be home. when he does get home, he would greet you before promptly passing tf out.

so he’d usually buy food when he remembers to eat. besides, his salary pretty much allows him to savour whatever liyue delicacy he wants to. the price, whatever it may have been, was negligible.

but honestly, truly, regardless of how luxurious and mouth-watering such expensive dishes were, nothing could beat home cooking. it hit different.

knowing this, you tended to prepare enough for two during dinner and save his portion on the dining table for when he gets home while you retreated to bed.

but on the off chance that he does get a day off, you best bet he’ll spend all that time within your presence. he is not letting you out of his sight and his arm’s reach.

he’ll ask you what you wanted to do. what you wanted to eat; he would treat you to anything, to repay your kindness, your thoughtfulness, as a way to say thank you, to say he’s glad to have you here and that he honestly truly cares for you.

you didn’t have to make him food but u did 🥺

if you said you just wanted something homemade, or if you wanted to taste what traditional snezhnayan food, he’d be more than happy to make you some of his favourite comfort food.

honestly you’re just shook that the man knows how to cook, and is quite good at it. an unexpected talent that makes you go “damn he’s the one, lads.”

as he works his magic, you’d help him around here and there, bringing this and chopping that. but for the most part, you’d just be his distraction and annoy him.

he will also annoy you back tbh.

playful digs and shade will be thrown… among other things being thrown…

yeah… cleaning up the kitchen is going to be a pain after this…

but he wouldn’t have it any other way—neither would you, for that matter.

you’re either gonna make something very delicious or nothing’s getting done, there’s no in between. you set the tone for this day dkfjd

if you want a chance in hell to actually get to eat something at the end, your best plan is to just wrap your arms around him and rest your chin on his shoulder. you’d pepper his skin with kisses while he tries his best to not be distracted from the task at hand (and maybe not slice his hand open with a knife).

oh well, what’s a little collateral damage here and there?

he’s here.

he’s yours, at least for now.

and you will take advantage of this.

who breaks out the first aid kit when the other gets a paper cut?

paternal cell.

paternal cell.

paternal cell.

we know childe do be a family man tho.

like let’s be honest, this man is a family man.

he loves his siblings and he loves his family. he has a very honest protective streak over his family and proclaimed loved ones. he hates seeing them hurt or unhappy so he will do anything to avoid such a situation.

if it does happen, he will do his damndest to remedy it.

so if he sees you getting hurt, even if it was simply just a paper cut, you best believe it’s protective ajax time and he’s pulling out the first aid kit.

bandaids, antiseptic, anti-inflammatory lotion, you name it. you tell him you don’t actually need half of these items and he shushes you before fussing over you.

he is making sure whatever ailment you have will heal up nicely and quickly.

he doesn’t want to see ur hurt :( and he rlly hopes u heal as fast as possible. you being hurt hurts him tenfold.

but not to worry, if he gets hurts? you’re also there very very quickly. you will rush to his side and you will fret over him, and his heart will fall all over for you once more, because you care about him and honestly it’s a nice feeling.

to be cared for.

maybe he doesn’t mind getting hurt if it means you would give him all of your attention and dote on him.

he just has to make sure you don’t find out he’s been getting injured intentionally because that’s instant banishment to the sofa for at least a few days.

who cuddles up to the other?

i like to imagine childe is a pretty affectionate dude, as in, he’s pretty touchy-feely. there’s also a little bit of possessiveness i think.

a lot of pda with this guy.

he wants to hold you close, he wants to be able to feel you near him.

so regardless of the time and place, he will make it known that you’re his, as he is yours.

it is no different as to when you’re in private. he’d snuggle up to you.

idk he just likes being near you? holding you, touching you, feeling you.

sometimes he can be a little restless in bed. if he doesn’t immediately conk out, he might build up some nighttime anxiety and paranoia. having you sleep soundly besides him makes it a little more bearable. it makes him feel safe and it certainly grounds him.

he finds that he sleeps a lot better and wakes up feeling a little more refreshed when you’re there with him.

of course, you were more than happy to reciprocate and curl up to him, his arms enveloping you.

though he might make a bit of a fuss and whinge, he lowkey highkey likes being in your arms. he won’t admit it, but being the little spoon is nice actually.

childe won’t ask for it or anything, he still wants to save face, but as you cuddle, the two of you would gradually shift until he has his head over your chest and he can hear the rhythmic beating of your heart. calming him.

who falls asleep on who? what is their reaction when the other falls asleep on them?

because of his job as a harbinger (not that you know that), he rarely ever comes home early or during normal human waking hours, so despite your determination you’re usually asleep by the time he slips inside your shared home.

that or by the time childe was comfortably sat next to you, more than happy to cuddle and listen to you ramble on about your day your excitement has already worn off, and in its place, drowsiness.

but it’s ok.

he would smile softly to himself, you asleep in his arms, small smile gracing your own lips, and gently lift up and carry you to your shared bedroom. slowly, carefully, he’d place himself near you without waking you up.

oh well, it can’t be helped. he’s happy enough to be around you, to have someone waiting for him.

but on the off chance you’re still awake while he was asleep, you would definitely take this chance to admire him, quietly watch the gentle rise and fall of his chest.

without that characteristic smug and self-satisfied grin, you’d wager he looked “innocent” you chuckle. but “innocent” and “childe” don’t belong in the same sentence.

stroking his hair, you’d notice how he looked so peaceful, carefree, even, when he’s asleep, and you long for the time when he’d look such a way when he was awake

you’d gently kiss his forehead, unable to bring yourself to break his peaceful repose to bring him to bed. instead, you wrapped a blanket you nabbed from childe’s bedroom around his shoulders and settle in his arms, happy to be near the man you love.

the next day, the both of you may wake up with terribly stiff necks rip

who likes to be held and who likes to hold?

i feel as if this is a shared sentiment. you both hold each one another an equal amount. ^u^

he’s used to being the older brother, the protector to his younger siblings, and he doesn’t oppose to having that role.

so in true childe fashion, he’d tease you for being all cuddly and insatiably hungry for his affection, but coddles you all the same (because he just loves the thought of, and being, held close).

you on the other hand love being adored by the object of your affection, paying no mind to his quips (ok maybe paying a little mind, as you huff and playfully hit him for being mean).

it’s ok though. he makes it up through his actions. and being paid attention to, cared for, adored and cherished by childe? you revel in it.

when you take him in your arms, he feels immensely happy and relieved.

to know that you care for him, that you’re looking out for him and that you love him—it brings forth a part of him he has long believed to have locked away and discarded.

a part of him that would’ve been considered weak, a part of him that wishes to be vulnerable, protected, and loved.

he figures that when it’s with you, it’s alright. he embraces it all the same because he trusts you.

you’re both smitten and you think to yourself that it’s alright his way.

because you have his heart, and he has yours.

LIKE MY WORK? CONSIDER BUYING ME A COFFEE // CHECKING OUT MY MASTERLIST | LINKS CAN BE FOUND ON MY DESC

[keilemlucent]

lavender latte: vi

(T (for now!))

hawks | takami keigo x reader

ao3

chapter 1   ||   chapter 2  ||   chapter 3   ||  chapter 4   ||   chapter 5   ||  chapter 7  ||

masterlist

word count: 6.8k

finally. god.  

warnings: none really! reader’s foot booted, but that’s about it.

---

well. here we are. thank u to everyone for reading this sweet, sweet story. we’re not through it yet, but i’m happy to offer a meal with this chapter. enjoy lovies. beta’ed by the lovely love @keiqos​. 

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You had several problems after returning to your apartment from the hospital. One of your coworkers was nice enough to drive you and your things back, but quickly the niceties stopped and your vague hell began.

Exclusively being on crutches sucked. Navigating your apartment and trying to live somewhat normally was a massive pain. Even just showering was a task that sapped most of your energy. Standing one-legged and balancing made your body ache with a deep soreness, especially the first few days you returned.

This was not even to mention the unpleasant dreams you were having.

‘Unpleasant’ & ‘dreams’ were a nice way of putting it.

You could recall that during your first night in the hospital, one of your doctors told you of the possibility of experiencing a few post-traumatic symptoms. Considering how out of it you were at the time, it was unsurprising how you brushed it off.

The reality was much harder to ignore.

...

Cars revving.

Shouting.

Shattering—

 Your eyes flashed open, chest heaving and brow covered in a fine sheen of sweat. 

Fuck that.

It was the same dream, an obvious recreation of the stimuli of the event. Though it was scattered in your memory, the dreams made it horribly vivid and vibrant despite lacking detail. The sounds and smells of that day clung to you as you shook your head, forcing yourself into wakefulness. 

Your comforter was thrown from your body, and you shivered as cold air rushed over you. As jarred as you were, you still swung your legs off the bed, readjusting your boot and your aching leg, half-heartedly glaring at your crutches.

Your apartment wasn’t terribly set up to get around with your limited mobility, but your difficulty functioning didn’t help your overall mental state. Everything was just harder with the boot on, and you did your best to work with it. 

Being locked up in your apartment added to the hellishness of it. You were so used to the stimuli and social environment of the teashop, it felt like a cold water shock when you were confined to your home entirely alone except for your cats.   

You could, of course, try and venture out into the world. But, it was still winter and the ice-covered sidewalks didn’t seem like the best place to try and crutch around. 

Within the first day or two, you resigned yourself to your three-week fate of being holed up. 

You had a laundry list of things you could do. Shows and movies to watch, places in your house to clean, your cats to pet, but—

You still had far too much time on your hands.

A lot of your newfound time in the first few days was spent on your back, leg propped up, and draped in ice bags, musing over Hawks.

Hawks.

Holy fuck.

You couldn’t avoid it, couldn’t stop it. Just thinking about him made every part of you swirl and thrum like you were listening to some sort of contently-chorded song and you were more than happy to play it on repeat until your ears bled. Maybe that feeling towards Hawks had always been there (it had), but now you accepted it and stopped holding yourself back as much.

You never thought the idea of someone squeezing your shoulder would send you into literal fits of giggles and butterflies, but boy, did it. Not to mention all of the careful touches and gentle words you two had shared in the aftermath of the attack, though the memories were hazy. What you did remember and cherish was the warmth of him, quirk activated or not. Each time you recalled it, your gut fluttered and your hands twitched.

Your ceiling was the most interesting place to look in your apartment. The plain texture was the perfect canvas to allow your memories of the sweet interactions the two of you had shared to play like comforting reruns. The commercial breaks of these daydreams were the texts exchanged between you and Hawks. 

 Keigo couldn’t stop thinking about you either.

It wasn’t as distracting as it once was, as he had been more liberal with letting himself text you. The high number of messages between the two of you was maybe ridiculous, but he was a fast texter and you seemed to have plenty of jokes and banter for him to share in.

As good as the texting was, it was also nice to check-in on you and your recovery. You seemed more annoyed than anything else, but Keigo wasn’t so much of an idiot as to think you weren’t in any pain or struggling at all. Though you didn’t explicitly tell him or show him, he was familiar with the pains of healing and could infer some things about your state. 

Keigo tried to brighten your day as he could. ‘Hawks’ still had plenty of hero work to do, especially with the information extracted from the recently detained syndicate members. Despite this, he took as much time as he could to stop and send you little snippets and messages which hopefully would help you smile a little.

 It did, of course. Just talking to Hawks did.

You had moments of awareness a few times a day where you had to remind yourself that, yes, (Y/N), you were just casual friends and deeply enamored with the number two hero and that sentiment was at least partially returned. 

You had a lot of time to wonder to what extent the feelings were returned. They obviously weren’t entirely one-sided, right? 

It was completely possible that they were, but you did your best to shake off the thought.

It was more likely that notorious bachelor and flirt, pro hero Hawks, just wanted a fuck with some feelings. To fuck with some feelings, right? 

Though, he did say that he cares about you.

But, you definitely can care about someone you only want to fuck.

You wished you had some sort of definitive answer. The murkiness of it all just made the sweetness of the past and the texts of the present seem a bit sour. 

Confessing to Hawks was daunting and terrifying. Not to mention, it felt a bit juvenile, all of it. People weren’t supposed to get melty crushes like this past high school, right? Especially not ones this deep on someone who couldn’t possibly feel the same as you, right?

 During one of these moments of uncomfortable clarity, your phone beeped as you rested on the couch. Despite not even seeing the message, you knew it would be Hawks.

You grabbed your phone, clicking open the newest message. 

 [birdboy]: hey hey angel

[birdboy]: look at this fucker i found

 The image attached was a photo of Hawks standing next to one of his own billboards, advertising some sort of sports drink. The photo had obviously been taken with a timer, the angle of the photo tilted as Hawks and the billboard were quite small in the frame. It added to the charm of the photo, the way Hawks was holding a feather blade to the throat of his own advert. You could even tell through the pixels he was wearing a wide smile as he did so, wings spread behind him

You snorted.

You and Hawks are just friends, you reminded yourself. 

 [you]: looks like a punk bitch 2 me dude

[you]: kinda uncanny resemblance tho

[birdboy]: i agree

[birdboy]: he’s hot tho

 You rolled your eyes, still smiling as you readjusted on the couch. You weren’t disagreeing, not at all. 

 [you]: not wrong

[you]: still, punk bitch

[birdboy]: :^(

[birdboy]: feelings = hurt

[birdboy]: please tell me the photo is funny 

[birdboy]: it took like five tries

[you]: very funny, im gonna save it and sell when im short on cash

[birdboy]: my publicist will blacklist u

[you]: i’d like to see them try

[birdboy]: is that a challenge angel????

[you]: a promise

 There was a break in the messages, though Hawks appeared to be typing.

 [birdboy]: unrelated but

[birdboy]: how are you doing?

 You paused, taking stock of your disheveled, sleepy self. You were only a few days out of the hospital and you definitely could’ve been worse off.

 [you]: im okay!!!

[you]: sore and tired honestly

[birdboy]: :^(

[birdboy]: i'm glad to hear its not worse at least

[birdboy]: ill send u lots more embarrassing photos 

[birdboy]: a million angel

[you]: my hero <3

 It all was surreal and mentally impossible to avoid.

You really, really liked Hawks and had for a long while.

             ...

 Keigo spent most of the rest of the day busy with patrols and work for the Commission, much to his chagrin. He hardly got a chance to text you. It reminded him of his reality as a pro, his fast-paced nature and how he truly couldn’t slow down, not at that point anyway. He had a brand and habitual way of being that was standard. Even for you, he wasn’t sure if he could slow down, even if he wanted to or needed to.

The idea scared him, pieces of his reality.

But, at the same time, Keigo hadn’t ever felt like this before. The weird, but incredibly alluring and comfortable heat in his chest made him feel like he’d do anything for you. Fuck, he’d fly to the stars and move them if he could, if that’s what it took. 

Maybe he even wanted to. 

Keigo couldn’t become a different person, for anyone, that’s not how things worked. But if getting closer to you meant... adjusting, he could do that. Easily. He was adaptable as all hell and he’d be glad to use it for something that made him feel good instead of hollow.

Keigo busily flew the day away. As the afternoon turned to night, the sky going pink and purple with dusk, he settled on top of a taller office building. It looked down on a street market, its smells and sounds wafting up to him on his perch.

It gave him an idea.

A good one.

 You were inspecting your fridge with a grimace. Balancing on your crutches and being counter-weighed by the boot on your foot made your angry stance a whole lot less intimidating, but it was the sentiment that counted.

Several days post-hospital had done a number on your food supply. The fridge was empty except for a few nearly expired items and condiments. The dry shelves weren’t looking much better.

The shrill sound of your ringtone from the couch made your jump, nearly falling. You teetered back over to it, eye-widening at the caller ID. 

 [birdboy] calling...

 Hawks had never called you before.

You quickly picked up the call, “...Hello?”

“Hey, angel!” Hawks was chipper on the other line. “What’re you up to?”

“Currently?” You hummed, turning forlornly to your kitchen. “Thinking about how I either need to order groceries or order dinner before committing to my couch for the rest of the night. Why? You don’t usually call.”

“I don’t,” Hawks’s smile was apparent in his voice, even through the receiver. “But, I had an idea.”

“Shoot.”

“I might just be near a super good takeout spot. How hard would it be for me to convince you to let me drop some food by your place? My treat.”

You didn’t reply for a second.

Stunned.

“Are you sure?”

“More than, dove. I’m off the rest of the night, anyways.”

Oh.

That gave you an idea—

An idea that would surely push the envelope of your feelings.

Let it.

“Okay, I’m in. One condition.” You bit your lip, willing your stomach to seize fluttering.

“You name it. This place is really good and—”

“I have been going a little stir crazy, and,” You cut him off, squeezing your eyes shut in anticipation, “how hard would it be to convince you to come over and stay awhile?”

Hawks was silent.

Your stomach dropped.

“Wait, I-I mean—” You stuttered, trying to gather yourself, but this time Hawks cut you off.

“Like, to hang out?” Hawks sounded shocked on the other line. 

“Yes.” 

You kept your breathing even and prayed it didn’t read over the call. 

“God, dove. I’d love to. I can be over in like ten—”

“Wait,” You fisted the fabric of your sweats. “Can I have a little more time? For myself and my apartment.”

Hawks chuckled on the other end of the line, “Sure, angel. Thirty sound better?”

You let out a sigh of relief, falling on to the back of your couch, “Sounds perfect.”

 Keigo decided to tease a bit, his heart pounding in his chest almost painfully. He knew from day one that you were bold, but this was a treat. He had to spare back, just a little.

“Though, dove, I’m sure you look more than perfect yourself. You always do.” He didn’t wait for your response, either out of fear of what you’d say or being a bit smug, he wasn’t sure.

Keigo hung up the call, burying his face in his gloves to try and stifle the blush on his cheeks, though it hardly helped. 

It didn’t have to.

 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

 Thirty minutes later and you were mostly sorted.

You managed to throw yourself into the shower, tossing on something half-way decent, but still comfortable. Had to keep it casual. 

Crutching around your apartment, you picked up what clutter you could, mind spinning. Hawks coming over to your fucking apartment filled you with elated, and yet terrifying, anxiety. A few times while cleaning, you legitimately paused to muffle quiet screams in your hand at the prospect.

You felt like you were going to burst.

 Keigo did too, notably. 

He took the time to fly all the way back to his apartment, take the world’s fastest shower, and throw on some clothes other than his costume. Going back to get food, his hands shook as he handed the bills to the starry-eyed vendor who he’d just written an autograph for.

You’d sent a quick text just before he’d left with a description of your balcony, so neither of you would have to figure out how to let him in through the roof. 

As he flew to your place, Keigo felt like he was going to implode.

He didn’t ‘hang out’ with people. Nope, far too busy for anything like that. He was a compulsory workaholic, it was part of his mental brand of being (or, mental ‘branding’, maybe). The closest he got to casual time with folks was the preamble before a hookup or the time he had spent at the tea shop with you. Actually going to spend time with someone, casually, and it was you? It was all new and terrifying.

But, above all? Exciting.

The whole situation opened many doors, all of which Keigo pictured and picked apart as he neared your apartment. There were so many potential situations to appraise and plan for, he felt overwhelmed by it all. 

The opportunity to spend some... time with you outside of the tea shop was a necessity, right? Keigo’s original idea had been to drop off some food and banter for a while, but the idea of spending one of his precious nights off with you was so much better than he could’ve expected. 

Not to mention the warm bit of validation sparked by the fact that you asked him to come over, you wanted him around —

It felt nice.

So nice. 

 You paused, hearing telltale scuffing of someone on your balcony. 

Oh my god. 

He’s here.

Hawks is here.

You gulped, shaking your head.

Don’t you dare chicken out now. Commit, dammit. You’re just... hanging out. With your friend.

Yeah.

A knock on the glass pulled you to the door of your balcony, hobbling to slide it open on your crutches. 

Hawks was happy to push the door the rest of the way open, stepping inside with a bag of takeout slung on his arm.

Your mouth parched, seeing him once again in civilian clothing. Was it... normal to get turned on by the fact that he looked normal? 

As Hawks stepped into your humble apartment, wings tucked tightly to his back, you drank him in, hair ruffled with his clear visor placed on top of his head to push back the windswept front pieces. He wore a white sweater and black trousers complete with heavy black boots that were quickly untied and left by the door.

“You’re staring, you know,” Hawks interrupted your thoughts as you straightened up on your crutches.

Recover.

“Can’t prove that,” You tutted, crutching away from the door. “Also, welcome. Watch out for my cats, they might try to get a mouthful of your feathers.”

“Duly noted,” Hawks clicked his tongue, standing up and following you as you meander to the kitchen. 

 Keigo had to admit that your apartment was relatively... cute. He was used to his own, seldom-used digs. He had a big, uncomfortably nice penthouse with too many disused rooms and too much open space. Fixtures and furniture that were too expensive, probably, but it had been far easier to hire some big-name interior designer and not bother with dealing with it himself. Keigo had trouble keeping many ‘personal’ possessions, anyways. His training with the Commission made him almost revile the thought of keeping unnecessary, material objects, sans a few. 

Your home was the exact opposite. 

Maybe it was that he didn’t know how to have a personal touch that it made your cozy little apartment feel so full of them.

Little photos and artworks on walls or in frames caught Keigo’s eyes as he followed you to the kitchen. He took note of several blankets on the couch, catching sight of the plushie he’d given you at the hospital. Even the lighting of the apartment was personal, diffuse. With how easily overstimulated you became, it made sense that you’d keep your apartment so ambiently dim.

“So, first off, thank you for coming by and delivering dinner. I am eternally grateful,” You bowed dramatically, leaning to flail out a crutch at the motion. “Second, as payment, I’ll make you a drink. Maybe not with my quirk, but I have some of my old tea blends here.”

“It’s the least I could do,” Keigo shrugged, setting the takeout down on the counter while his ever-present grin nearly hurt his face from how relentless it was. “And tea? Show me what you’ve got. Or, should I trust you to pick one out for me?”

You hummed, clicking your tongue before moving across the kitchen to a different set of cabinets, “I think I’ve actually got a good one for you. It’s one of my favorites.”

“Lay on the details, angel,” Keigo hummed, leaning against the lip of the counter. 

 You did have the perfect blend in mind. It wasn’t too old, hardly stale. It would pair as well as a nice tea could with fried takeout, judging by the smells wafting from the bag on the counter.

“It’s one I made for a brunch we catered a few months back. It’s just a white tea raspberry blend, but it’s not delicate. It should stand up to any sort of food you’ve brought. Thank you, by the way.” 

Setting your crutches down, you started to push yourself up onto the counter without thinking much of it, booted-foot going limp off the edge. 

“Of course, anytime— woah, angel,” His voice choked as you wavered on the edge of the counter, off-balance. 

There was a short flap of wings and rush of air as you tried to rebalance, cursing the deadweight of your leg. 

If Hawks hadn’t been directly behind you, you probably would’ve eaten shit.

You turned yourself as far as you could, cheeks going hot.

Hawks’ face was just inches away from yours. That was even to mention the hands hovering around your waist, chest brushing up against your back. 

“S-sorry,” Did he just fucking stutter? “You looked like you were about to eat shit there.”

The words hardly reach you, you were too busy actively telling yourself not to stare at his pretty, plump lips because that is not something friends do. Not the can of worms you needed to open, right?

“I-,” You turned away from him, stretching up to the tea tin that had been out of your reach. “To think you’ve saved me from falling while reaching for loose leaf tea, twice.”

“All in a day's work,” His hands twitched around your sides but hardly shifted until you began to descend from the countertop. In fact, Hawks hardly moved away at all until you were situated back on your crutches.

You pretended not to notice the flush on his cheeks.

Maybe, it was a bit too close. Definitely too close, and bad circumstances, but god, you wanted more and more of him. 

You swallowed your desires down, cracking a smile. 

Be normal.

Be cool!

You shook the tin, leaves and dried fruit rattling inside, “So, cream or sugar?”

 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

 The two of you ended up on the couch, picking through the several boxes of takeout that Hawks had brought. Most of dinner was spent bantering back and forth about one of Hawks’ newest modeling contracts and if it was ‘ethical’ for him to wear his own feathers for the sake of ‘fashion’?

“So, off-topic from insulting my employment ethics, ” Hawks spoke while munching on a piece of chicken. “You surviving?”

“Barely,” You laughed, setting down your utensils with a huff. “I forget how isolation makes you go a little crazy. I’m running out of dumb shit to watch and even dumber shit to send you.”

Hawks snorted, setting down his own box, having had his fill, “I know you are more than adept at combing the internet for more good shit to send me.”

“I mean, maybe, but you keep sending me juicy photos of you being a dumbass. They’re hard to show up, you know?” You side-eyed him at the birdish tilt of his head.

“You don’t need to show me up, angel,” Hawks reminded you, some feathers packing up what was left of the food. “Though, it’s fun. You’re fun.”

You internally winced at the sentiment but forced the smile on your face not to waver.

It was a needed reminder.

This close to Hawks, you could fucking smell him. Maybe it was a little creepy, but you remembered it so well, after the villain attack. The scent of some sort of spicy cologne and old sweat, but it was hardly unpleasant. No, it was intoxicating. It made you feel almost fuzzy, as it wafted around like some reminder that Hawks and you were so close. 

You thanked the stars that the apartment lacked the stimuli to make your quirk activate on its own. 

Your couch wasn’t very large, and it seemed even smaller with how Hawks had laid his wings over it. They were propped up over the back, outstretched just the smallest bit to relieve some pressure. All the same, the massive feathers made you feel minuscule.

Even the way he was sitting was intoxicating and a bit gut-wrenching. It was casual, the way he leaned back against the far cushions, legs somewhat spread with an ankle over the opposite knee. The pose oozed a weird, untouchable confidence that you hadn’t seen in Hawks in months, maybe ever. At least, not directed at you.

Despite the warm nature of his words, he seemed guarded.

It made your throat dry.

 Keigo was quite on edge. He hadn’t meant to get so close in the kitchen, really, he hadn’t. But, seeing you dangling off the edge of the counter like that, even if it was harmless and mundane, made his entire body and mind react before he could think.

But, you weren’t in any danger. Even if you had been, Keigo would’ve been there to catch you. 

He’d put himself out of it, overthinking the whole thing. You were fine. Safe. 

The other part of his mind spun with how he wanted to be so much closer.

Feeling the warmth of your body, the lines of your waist, the thrum of your heart and breath so fucking close—

It was a lot.

But, he was well-trained and not going to choke. 

He’d shoved himself to the opposite side of the couch to you, keeping his boundaries up, strong as steel and hard as carbon. 

Of course, Keigo knew the feelings were mutual. That didn’t mean that none of this was terrifying in the same way that it was exhilarating. 

As much as he wanted to be closer (so much closer), Keigo remained careful. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was ruin something before it had even truly happened. 

 You sat back against the couch, repositioning your injured leg on the coffee table, “So, thoughts.”

“On?”

You didn’t look at Keigo as you replied, rather glared at your TV, “What to watch?”

“Oh,” You could hear the smile in his voice. “We’re watching something?”

“You tell me. I imagine you don’t get lots of time to do this sort of thing, do you?” 

Hawks didn’t reply for a moment, sitting deeper into the couch, “Not really.”

“Then indulge, tailfeathers,” You tossed the remote in his lap. “Anything, go for it. Go nuts.”

Hawks nearly put on watching a reality cooking show, before you said that that was off-limits, per an odd conversation from way back when where he had admitted to be hot for Gordon Ramsey. He had been a little too vague as to whether or not he would pop a boner from Gordon’s filmed degradations. And truthfully, if anything was gonna give Hawks a hard-on tonight, you were determined for it not to be competitive cooking TV. Maybe, just maybe, you’d rather it be you.

...

Eventually, he settled on some psychological thriller you’d never heard of.

 Keigo hadn’t either. 

He was glad that you couldn’t hear his heart in the same way he heard your’s pounding.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched you crutch around, turning the already dim lights lower.

Calm the down, Hawks. 

Calm the fuck down.

He’d never even done this before. Keigo wasn’t sure how to handle the situation, even if it was as simple as watching a film.

It would’ve been simpler if the tension in the air was thick and foggy, clouding over his consciousness as he tried to focus on anything other than your nearness and how much he wanted to drag you into his lap. 

 …

 His feathers fluttered as you plopped back onto the couch, pulling a blanket over your lap and offering one to him.

He took it, settling it over his lap as the movie went on.

 You weren’t an idiot. You could feel the blood rushing in your hot ears as you fisted the blanket over your legs. 

Your mind spoke a lot louder than you wanted it to:

Just fucking do it.

 Do what exactly?

 The paramount thought that was causing anxiety to twirl in your gut.

Maybe, you could just tell him how you felt.

Maybe just hold his hand.

Maybe get fucking rejected because he’s out of your league and out of bounds.

Maybe even kiss him—

 You were torturing yourself, the movie just background noise to your internal dilemma.

You’d asked him to your apartment and Hawks had bought you fucking dinner. That wasn’t a lot, sure, maybe, but there were also the months of lead-up. 

There were all of the cold mornings and cheeky grins you gave each other in the waking coffee shop. There were the fuzzy jokes, the lingering glances, and the tight feeling you got in your chest whenever he graced you with mere eye contact.

It felt like you were already in too deep to not be honest about how you felt towards him. Fuck, you’d been in too deep for months. Every time you made him a damn drink, you wanted to just drink him in. You were all fluttering hearts and sweet smiles for him in a way that you couldn’t suppress, only squash in moments of such intense anxiety like this—

“Hey, dove?” It was Hawks, shocking you from your turmoil with a soft voice. “Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah, I’m good.” Your reply was curt and clipped. 

Make a decision now.

Pull the bandage off, (Y/N). 

It’ll just be worse, the longer you wait.

Maybe Hawks did just want to fuck with some cute feelings, the seemingly longing looks be damned. Yeah, you liked him way more than for just a fuck, that was obvious and unavoidable. Besides, it’d be better to know than to not know, right?

 “You sure? If the movie’s too much, we can turn it off,” Hawks sounded genuinely concerned from the other side of the couch.

...

You committed, taking a deep breath and turning to Hawks. 

 “It’s not that,” You looked at the couch between the two of you, tracing the seam of the cushion. “The movie’s fine.”

“Then, you’re not feeling great for another reason?” Keigo asked, feeling each of your breaths and heartbeats like bass drums in his ears. He hides the shaking of his hands by crossing them over his chest. “You can talk to me, (Y/N).”

“Can I?” You asked, shaking your head and laughing at yourself. “Hawks, I need to do something really fucking stupid.”

Holy fuck.

Are they—

“What’s that?” 

His voice was smaller than he wanted it to be.

 “Fuck, Hawks,” You finally forced yourself to look at him, taking in his guarded posture and pained expression. 

Your heart sank.

“I just need to be honest with you.”

Hawks’s brow soured, lips twitching, “Go for it, dove.”

You laughed, maybe trying to soothe yourself, “It’s probably is just, so fucking stupid, all things considered.”

You ran a hand through your hair, biting your lip between sentences and willing yourself to just get it out—

 “Hawks, I like you. A lot.”

 He still didn’t say anything and you could feel shards of your heart drive into your lungs.

You forced yourself to look up at him, smiling with the slight release of tension in your sternum, however painful. 

“I know, we’re just friends, right? I’m just the barista and you’re my special, pro hero regular. I know I’m overstepping right now, but it feels unfair for me to not be honest with you.”

 Keigo already knew this, right? He knew how you felt, fuck, he’d felt how you felt. He just wasn’t prepared for the exploding and thrumming in his chest when you told him with your sweet lips and kind words.

Why did it feel so different when you were smiling at him like you were in pain and telling him so fucking honestly with your words?

It was the thing about you that he admired the most, that candor in your tone and the grin in your cheeks as you spoke so.

But, your smile was falling, leaving watery-looking eyes. 

“Hawks, I like you. Way too much for friends, and I needed to say something.” 

Keigo’s mouth was dry.

For the first time in so fucking long, he was genuinely speechless.

He couldn’t recall a time in his life anyone had spoken so earnestly to him, just you. Just you, you, you— casually, over and over again, you talked to him like he was something real and something to be cared for. It was subtle, but it was one of the many things that made him want you closer. 

Yet, despite all his bundled up desires, he was lost for words.

“I’m sorry—”

He stopped you, “(Y/N), please don’t apologize.”

“But—” 

“(Y/N).”

 Hawks’ voice was sharp. It made the expression on your face rapidly fall.

He looked at you with rapt attention, arms uncrossing from his chest.

He turned to you on the couch, feathers fluffed up and twitching.

Your nose stung as Hawks, all pretty golds and ambers, shook out an exhale and balled up the blanket in his lap.

“Hawks—”

“Why would you need to be sorry?”

Hawks looked at you with wide eyes, brow creased. His shoulders were... shaking?

Your head spun, leg aching, “... What do you mean?”

Hawks finally met your gaze, giving you the sweetest, saddest smile you’d ever seen, “Dove, you’re acting like there’s no way I could feel the same way.”

Every cell in your body stuttered.

“You’ve done it since we’ve met.”

Hawks scooted closer on the cushions of the couch.

“You’ve always acted like there’s just no way I could like you, give a shit about you—”

He moved a bit closer.

You couldn’t make yourself move.

“You want to know the truth?”

You creaked out a nod.

 Keigo couldn’t help the way he went to cup your cheeks in his hands, thumbs rubbing along the apples of your cheeks. You lean into his touch, just like at the hospital, despite the blend of absolute fear and confusion in your expression.

“How could I not care about you, dove?” And it finally came out. “I care about so much— dove, I don’t know what to fucking say.”

That made you speechless, lips parting just the slightest bit as Hawks continued, losing composure with his morphing expressions. 

He wet his lips, swallowing, “Dove, I’ve never—any of this. I-I don’t know what o-or how to say any of what I want to right now.”

You speak before thinking.

“Show me, if you don’t know how to say it.”

 The idea seemed so novel as Keigo ran a thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it from between your teeth. He met your gaze with the gooiest, sweetest look you’d ever seen in your life, “You want me to?”

“Please.”

It was all the two of you had wanted for a while now, right?

“If I kiss you, I’m not ever gonna be able to make this go away, am I?” Keigo was speaking to himself, just above his breath. But, you were more than close enough to hear him. 

“Hey, Hawks? I don’t know if we can make ‘this’ try to go away.” You grabbed one of the hands cupping your face, pulling it away, only to shakily press in your lips to the bones on the back of it. “I don’t want to anymore.”

“Y-you gotta stop being so sweet, (Y/N)—”

Neither of you could wait a moment longer.

Your arms wrapped around Keigo’s shoulder. In the same motions, he pulled you closer by your waist, dragging you finally closer to him.

He held your jaw like you were the most precious thing in the world. Because, truthfully, you were to him. The sentiment was shared Deeply. 

Your lips pressed together and the long-held tensions in your chests mutually shattered, dissolving in the honeyed touch of each other’s genuine attention. 

You angled your head perfectly, Keigo’s hand guiding you as his mouth worked against yours. It wasn’t a particularly steamy sort of affair, but by god, it wasn’t in any way chaste. Not with the tight grip and thumbing on your ribs. Not with the way your hands tangled in the soft (holy fuck, soft) hair at the base of Keigo’s skull. 

You both tasted each other's sweetness, craving more of it after denying yourselves of it for so long. It was white-hot, exploding behind your eyes, even as your quirk remained dormant. Keigo was honey and cream and smoked spices all dancing across your palette.

To Keigo? You were sweet, cool water over a hot burn. You were the heat of a hearth rolling over him on the coldest of days. He swears that in the first moments he finally got to be close to you, and over and over again— he finally understood how your quirk worked.

There was no way that finally feeling you, feeling you as he felt you, could be described with just five senses.

You pulled away first, gasping for breath and arching your back into him. You lingered as close as you could, pressing your forehead to Keigo’s while your breaths mingled. You didn’t dare stray far.

“Was that enough to show you?” Keigo asked, breathless. He kept a wide hand against your back, urging you with a bit of soft pressure to put your weight into it. You complied, settling in his hold as Keigo stroked at your hot cheeks.

You nodded, beaming up at him with that sunny smile of yours. It never failed to make heat burn through Keigo and god, did it feel good to finally let it unabashed.

“I take it, you like me too, huh,” You smiled, looking a bit embarrassed. 

“Very much, very much,” Keigo repeated, pressing a kiss to your nose (he’d always wanted to do that). “So much, (Y/N). I apologize for not saying anything sooner. This is just...”

“New to you, right?” You finished his sentence, thumbing along the back of his neck in a way that made Keigo just melt. “It’s been a while for me too, if it makes you feel better.”

“It does, dove. Thank you.” Keigo let out a deep breath, shaking his head against yours. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.”

 “It’s alright, same goes for me,” As much as you needed to adjust due to the angle of your recovering leg, you couldn’t make yourself do it. You were so wonderfully close to Hawks, you never wanted to move. 

“If we’re being honest, then I need to be honest with you,” Hawks met your eyes, his expression going a little dimmer. 

You braced for the worst. 

He picked up your shift easily, finally able to express how quickly he caught your mood after so long of being attuned to it. 

“Oh wait, no, (Y/N), nothing terrible, I promise,” Hawks rubbed at your sides. “It’s about the miel.”

“The... miel?” You cocked your head to the side, confused, recalling the drink somewhat hazily. “The drink I made you on the day of... the attack?”

Hawks gave you a tense smile, “That one, yeah. Remember how you said it was just based on your ambient feelings?”

“Uh-huh.” You let confusion lace your tone until it slowly started to dawn on you.

“You made the drink, ambiently, around me—”

Your eyes widened, mouth falling open, “Oh my god, Hawks, did my feelings for you get in the drink?”

Hawks graced you with a sweet, sympathetic smile, fingers tucking at the hair around your ear, “They did, dove. I’ve kind of known for a few days, it just hasn’t been the time or setting to say something. I apologize.”

“N-no, it’s okay, I totally understand,” You sighed into his grip. “I really thought it might be something worse.”

“Consider your worries assuaged,” Hawks hummed, eyes drifting to your boot. He deadpanned suddenly. “On a scale of one to ten, how bad does your leg hurt right now?”

 Fairly bad, considering. You were half on your knees, the booted leg twisted awkwardly while still raised to the coffee table. This wasn’t even to mention the arch of your back so you could be all that closer to Hawks.

The pain of the position was easy to forget; you were still shaking from kissing Hawks just once. 

“Uh, maybe like a seven, once I can feel anything other than how good you felt just now,” you hummed, grinning up at Hawks as his face went bright red.

The infinite pleasure you received, making him blush so sweetly. 

He shook it off, squeezing your sides, “Cute. Very cute. Mutually returned sentiment, but let’s adjust.”

You nodded but didn’t have much time to react as a bundle of Hawks’s feathers lifted you every which way, albeit incredibly gently. All said and done, he was fully upright against the back of the couch. With the support of a feather or two, Hawks’s arms tugged you into his lap. Your legs stretched to the side, the booted one immediately propped up by a feather-supplied pillow.

You both settled yourselves, blushing and leaning on each other now that you finally were allowing yourself to. 

Keigo fully wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tight against him. One of his wings even shifted to drape over one his shoulder, sheltering the two of you in a canopy of a crimson. Keigo let his hands wander over your hips, not seeking anything more than blessed attention and heat. You gave it all to him, tucking your face into his collarbone, drowning in the scent that made you feel at home. 

Keigo pressed his lips to your crown and legitimately shuddering.  

He spoke to himself, so faintly and quietly, you hardly caught it, “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”

There was melancholy in his voice, but you were quick to strip it away.

You brushed your lips along his jaw, savoring the way he held you tighter, “I have too. Can we do this more?”

“Anytime, dove. Anytime.”

“Right now sound good?”

You withdrew to beam up at him as you were so good at doing, only to be smothered by craving-satiating kisses anywhere Keigo could get to. The sweet, high laughter that he dripped onto you made your heart burst all over again.

And you finally, finally fell into the other sweetly, warmly, and properly. 

||||||||||||||||||

taglist: @thepandapopo @hawksexual @sinclairsamess @darcia22 @inhalingsoysauce @yee-fxcking-haw

[hypmicdaydreams]

Weew it's been a while since last time I request here hehe missed ur writings so much💓 so can I have coffee, pomegranate, and green tea for Hitoya??

Anyway this is gonna be a vv tmi from me, but I didn't really opened this app recently since I got sick in last few days but after read ur last samatoki fic I feel moooore better lolol ngl but I really really really love the way u always write the details of emotion in all of ur scenarios is so PERFECT!! I'll never tired to say that I have a BIG CRUSH with ur writings so muchhh💓💗 I hope u have a great weekend and don't forget to rest well dear~ 😘

Haha thank you for your sweet message!! It made me so happy to hear that you enjoyed the last samatoki fic. It always does mean so much to me to hear people say that they love my writing 💕 I hope you're feeling better now though! Remember to take breaks as well! Hope you enjoy~

tea prompts: hitoya amaguni

coffee; do they get jealous easily? how do they show it?

Hitoya doesn't get jealous that easily, although, he does get bothered if he practically has to watch you dote on someone or something else for a while (yes, that was jealousy, but Hitoya didn't like to admit it); then, it was much too distracting. He trusts you a lot and, quite frankly, didn't see the point in getting riled up over something so inconsequential. Hitoya was certain that he was the only one in your heart after all.

When he gets jealous, Hitoya likes to deny it, both to you and himself. He wanted to think that he wasn't one to get so worked up over nothing, but that was proven otherwise. The distasteful scowl and his sharp gaze towards you and whatever was currently taking up your attention were hard to ignore, essentially. Plus, the gnawing, pitiful feeling in his gut was starting to get much too uncomfortable. So Hitoya would call you over or come up, pretending to need you for something just so that your attention would be on him for a bit. And if you pointed out his jealously, he'd simply say that you were speaking nonsense, and he wasn't jealous, not in the slightest. His pink cheeks gave it all away, however (plus, if you pushed him enough, he'd relent).

pomegranate tea; at what point did they know they loved their s/o?

Hitoya, overall, always was certain that he loved you, from the moment the two of you got together. But, well, it never really did hit him the extent to which he loved you until that one time. You had been waiting for him outside of the court room, knowing that it'd only be a few more minutes before proceedings ended, and Hitoya would emerge out of the room, presumably victorious yet again. It was something that you've done before, greeting and congratulating him once he finished a case; Hitoya always did very much appreciate it.

But for whatever reason, this time around, upon seeing your smile once he walked out, it just caused his heart to skip a beat. It felt much different from all those other times you had done so. Hitoya couldn't help but just feel so warm on the inside, a feeling he wasn't quite used to. Perhaps it was because he was tired, more so than previous court cases given the difficulty and length of this one, but it hit him much harder this time than the other instances. Hitoya couldn't help but feel lucky to have someone he dearly loved and vice versa waiting for him after work. Seeing you first thing afterwards was such a blessing. And that's when he realized the extent to which he loved you; Hitoya wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, to come to you after a long, stressful day at the firm or court.

green tea; how do they comfort their s/o? 

Hitoya didn't really think that he was all that good at comfort, especially when he found it difficult to comfort himself when need be, but when it came down to it, he was quite the natural. He did things with no questions asked, such as making you tea or sitting down next to you and holding your hand for reassurance. Plus, when Hitoya gave advice, it generally was pretty good advice and quite moving. Sometimes, his words may even echo in your mind in certain situations.

When it came to comfort, Hitoya preferred to take your mind off things entirely in order to help console you, then talk to you and give advice afterwards when you were in a better mindset. He did so by watching a movie or cooking dinner or going out for a date, really anything where the two of you could be alone and intimate with one another. He did like to take you out to get some fresh air, noting that it'd do you some good no matter what the situation. And it certainly was of help, finding yourself feeling better in no time at all. As long as you were happy, so was he.

[devnicolee]

The Chosen Ones (One-Shot): Surprise

A/N: Very random but it is what my brain wanted this weekend lol Also I miss Asha lol my fav! Anyway, enjoy!

***

Asha’s hand covered her mouth as she yawned, resting her book on her chest and letting her head gently fall on the mountain of propped up pillows behind her.

“You have been really tried lately, firecracker?” M’Baku called as he walked out of their bathroom to grab his pajamas at the foot of the bed. Asha nodded lightly, her mind immediately distracted, like a child with a new toy, as her eyes gazed over his naked body. They had only known each other for a year, been married for six months, and his body still managed to take her breath away.

She licked her lips lightly, desire flaring in her eyes as she ignored his question and her previous exhaustion. M’Baku chuckled as he examined her.

“Are you listening, my queen?”

She smiled slyly, pulling herself from under the covers, sexily crawling down to the edge of the bed where he stood.

“I’m sorry, my king. You are just my greatest distraction,” she whispered seductively in his ear, her teeth gently nipping at his earlobe, his favorite spot.

He groaned before pulling back slightly. “There will time for that later. But I am serious, Asha. Are you sure you are feeling ok?” His eyes examined her closely as if he could see a mysterious illness in her eyes. “You usually only sleep one or two nights a week and you have been dead to the world every night this week.”

“Maybe it is our late night activities,” she winked before kissing his neck. She ended her ministrations as she heard the frustrated sigh leave his lips. Her usual methods of distraction weren’t going to work this time.

He wasn’t wrong, she usually didn’t need sleep or, at least, not much of it. She spent most nights working with T’Challa, who was usually awake as well, or reading in the library. That is, after she and M’Baku finished their intimate time, which was continuing at a rate of every single night. She was wondering when he would slow down, get tired of her… but that day had yet to come. She was convinced that was part of it, M’Baku had more energy than her. He pushed her body to its limits most nights, even after a long day, he was rarely satisfied with lazy sex.

“Sorry, I know you are serious. I don’t know what it is though… nothing has changed. I-I’ve just felt really tired the last week or two. I’m sure it will pass, don’t worry about it, ok?” She kissed his cheek.

Silence fell over them as his eyes examined her. “If it continues, you will go see a healer, yes?”

“Of course. Now…” her small hands drifted to the hem of the shirt he just pulled onto his broad frame and started to pull it back off. “Why don’t you come over here and give me a reason to be exhausted?”

M’Baku climbed over her as their lips connected and their tongues explored each other.

“Anything you wish, my queen.”

****

Asha groaned slightly as she turned over in bed, the sheets sliding off of her naked body. M’Baku instinctively turned with her, his arm resting over her hip as she tried to get comfortable again. She glanced at the clock, surprised at how long she had slept. But she wasn’t surprised, M’Baku seemed determined to send her to new heights that evening, pouring all his love and energy into worshipping her body. She reached for her beads, finding a missed message from T’Challa.

She groaned as she remembered she was supposed to be going over some treaties with him that evening. She quietly got out of bed to get her tablet to call him. However, as she stood up, she felt her stomach start to turn, an unfortunate wave of nausea overtaking her. She sat back on the bed, her mind running through the food she ate throughout the day to determine what caused this.

After a few minutes, she felt that unmistakable churn that forced her to leap off the bed. She barely made it to the toilet before she began throwing up. It felt as if her body was trying to rid itself of every substance she ever consumed. After a few minutes of heaving, she rested her head on her arms, exhaustion settling in, as she waited for the next wave she knew would be coming.

When the second wave hit, she didn’t even notice M’Baku behind her, holding her braids back for her. When she was done, she felt a damp rag wiping her forehead. She offered him a small smile and a feeble ‘thank you.’

“What happened, baby?” He whispered as he rubbed her back.

“I-I don’t know. Just one of those stomach bugs probably,” she waved his concerns away.

“Maybe we should go see a healer tomorrow, firecracker?”

Asha immediately shook her head. “No, no. I promise I’m fine.”

She pushed herself up and walked slowly over to their wooden counter. She discreetly leaned against it as she reached for her toothbrush. “Look, if I get sick again, I promise I will go see a doctor. But there is no need to fuss. I feel much better already.”

“Ok, one more incident and you are headed to the doctor, no complaints.”

“Yes sir. Now let me brush my teeth and then we can go back to bed. I’ll be there in a second.”

She watched M’Baku’s back retreat from her as he returned to their bedroom. She slumped forward, her head resting in her hand. Something was off, she knew that much.

***

“Are you sure you are ok?” M’Baku asked as Asha wrapped her arm in his as they strolled through the market. She rolled her eyes.

She appreciated M’baku’s protectiveness, truly. But sometimes it felt overbearing. Aside from that bout of sickness two days ago, Asha had felt fine. Still tired but fine. And yet, he has asked her how she was feeling every hour for the last 48 hours. But when she thought about the husband she almost had, she chose to be grateful for this quirk of his. It just meant he cared deeply and wanted her to know that. She would always appreciate that about him… the lengths he went to ensure she felt loved, cherished and protected every single day. He wanted her to be around as long as she possibly could be and wanted to protect her from anything that could stop that.

“When are you going to stop asking me if I am ok?“

“When you are back to my usual energetic, non-sleeping, sickness-free fire goddess,” he mused.

“I promise, it was just one night. Even goddesses get sick, my king,” she teased, as she waved at a few vendors as they passed by. “Seriously, I’m good.”

“If you say so,” he muttered, his usual response to her assurances, an indication that he didn’t really believe her.

They approached Asha’s favorite shop in the market, a dressmaker who was a true magician with fabric. Asha had dragged Nakia, Okoye, and Shuri here to see Adisa, firmly believing her dresses were better than 99 percent of the dressmakers in the Golden City.

“My king, my queen,” Adisa saluted them as they entered the shop.

“Asha!”

“Neema! It is Queen Asha, you know that. Be respectful,” her mother called as the little girl barreled toward her chief and chieftess.

Asha smiled as Adisa’s daughter came rushing up to her and rammed into her legs for a hug. She didn’t particularly care about the young girl, or anyone in the tribe, calling her by her title. She was still getting used to that part.

“Oof!” Asha exclaimed as she wrapped her small arms around her legs. “Have you gotten stronger since I was last here? I think you have found your next great warrior, M’Baku,” she mused, sharing a wink with her husband.

The young girl glanced up at M’Baku, her eyes big with wonder and excitement. “Reallyyyy?” Her baby voice asked. M’Baku swooped down and picked her up, the girl immediately resting her head on his shoulder.

“I agree! We need strong warriors like you. You will train hard, yes? I will be looking for you to join us in a few years,” he remarked, smiling at the young girl.

It always made Asha’s heart melt watching M’Baku interact with children throughout the tribe. They all adored him. He had such a way with them, gentle and loving.

He placed her feet back on the ground, offering her another big smile before she turned her attention back to Asha.

“Can you make the fire, Queen Asha, pleasseeeee?”

Asha smiled before taking a few steps back, to put a healthy distance between her and the young girl, and stretched out her hands. While she enjoyed free use of her powers in Jabariland, she honestly didn’t think much about them anymore or use them often, especially this time of year. They were a joy for everyone during the winter months, instant fire at her fingertips whenever they needed it. But in the summer, Asha’s gift wasn’t as necessary as others were. Only one year into living among the Jabari and she truly appreciated how the Chosen were seen as gifts and help to the tribe, each one stepping up to fill a need or a gap when necessary.

Asha concentrated as she stretched her hands out, several flames emerging before forming three small gorillas. She and Neema watched as the gorillas ran around in her palms, the young girl getting close enough to watch but keeping a safe distance to ensure she didn’t get hurt.

She giggled and clapped her hands at the show, before Asha closed her palms, causing the fire to die out.

“What do you say?” Her mother prompted as she carried several large garment bags out of the back of the shop.

“Thank you!”

She gave Asha another hug before running to the back room. As she straightened back up, Asha swayed slightly for a second, unexpected dizziness washing over her. She took a deep breath, ignoring it briefly.

“Thank you for always entertaining her. She just loves that.”

M’Baku took the long garment bags out of her hands, trading them for a stack of Wakandan dollars.

Asha waved her hand, “It is nothing. She is a dream, so sweet. And thank you for the new pieces. So happy I have something for King T’Challa’s birthday this weekend.”

“I hope you like them! Will I see you again next week? I will have some new things for you to try?”

Asha nodded, “Of course!”

She and M’Baku said their goodbyes before heading back into the market toward their carriage. She leaned against M’Baku, using him to help her walk as the dizzy feeling grew. She wanted to ask him to stop but didn’t want to send him into a frenzy in the middle of the crowded market. But after a few more paces, she realized she couldn’t take it any longer.

“My love, can we s-slow down for one second?” She asked, her feet coming to a halt.

“Of course. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just felt dizzy all of a sudden. I am sure it is nothing.”

His hands went to her waist as he examined her. After a few minutes of deep breathes, Asha finally opened her eyes to see the extreme concern in his.

“Better?”

She nodded, “Much. Thanks.”

“Good. And we will have no more of this. I am calling a healer as soon as we get home.”

“M’Baku…” Asha whined. “Please, don’t make a big deal out of this. I just needed a minute.”

“And I need for you to be ok, really ok. And you aren’t. Lying about that for my benefit isn’t helping either of us. Even if it is something small, I would rather know about it so we can deal with it. Understand?” He kissed her forehead gently.

Asha nodded, accepting that this was not a battle she could win. “Understood.”

***

Asha paced up and down their bedroom as she waited for M’Baku to come home from his office. He had demanded she take the day off and rest, rearranging her entire day for her and arranging for his private healer to come check in on her.

The healer had left over an hour ago, leaving behind a diagnosis Asha hadn’t never thought to consider.

She was pregnant.

She almost fainted when he told her. She even asked him to check again to be sure.

Asha couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t tell whether to be excited or terrified. Asha had always wanted children but convinced herself for years that she would never have them. And then M’Baku came along and changed all of that. He made her impossible dreams feel possible again. And they both wanted children, him an army of them. But not this soon, they had barely been married.

She worried they were moving too fast. After all, they had dated, gotten engaged and gotten married all in less than a year. Asha regretted none of it, even if the move to Jabariland came with a steep learning curve. She had figured it out and she had never been happier. However, children were not something you rushed, they were something you planned for. And they hadn’t done any real planning yet.

Part of her worried how M’Baku would react, but only for a second. Regardless of the timing, he would be ecstatic, beside himself.

She had spent the last hour pacing their quarters, wondering how to tell him. However, she wouldn’t have to wait much longer as she looked up to find him walking into their quarters.

“My love, you are supposed to be in bed,” he chastised lightly, kissing her on the forehead. “What’s wrong?” He asked immediately as he took in the stressed look on her face. “What did the doctor say?”

Asha stared at his chest. She knew there was a better way to tell him this, something cute and romantic. But she was freaking out and needed him… his strength, his steadfastness, his wisdom. He would forgive the lack of fanfare in the announcement.

“Nothing bad. I’m ok… I-I’m just pregnant.”

She stole a glance at his face, finding a smile slowly growing there like a blooming flower.

“What?” He asked for clarification.

“I am pregnant.”

“Ah!” Asha let out a light scream and laugh as she was suddenly swept off her feet. M’Baku captured her lips as he spun her around. She giggled lightly.

“Are you happy?” She asked.

“You have made me the happiest man in the world, Asha. I love you more than anything.” He kissed her deeply.

He clapped his hands and laughed as they broke apart, immediately launching into a speech.

“We have to celebrate! In the Golden City this weekend! Oh and we have to tell our families. AND the Council. They will be ecstatic at this news… an heir. Wow. Oh he or she will be the greatest leader the Jabari has ever seen.” Asha watched as he paced and talked, his excitement flowing out of him like the rivers cut the mountains. “I will carve them a knobkerrie and I s-should start on the crib now. Do you th-“ he stopped as he looked over at his wife, his words dying at the sad smile on her face.

“What’s wrong, usana?” He asked, immediately coming up to her and rubbing her bare arms. As he looked at her, he could see the signs of her anxiety and fear, the unshed tears she was desperately trying to hold back glistening vin her eyes. “Are you not happy?”

She shook her head immediately, “No, no. I am happy. Of course, I’m happy,” she emphasized looking up at him. “I ju-“ she shook her head again, hesitant at sharing her fears with him… fears she knew he wouldn’t share. “N-nothing, it’s nothing. I am happy, really.”

“Stop. No, do not do that. Something is bothering you. Tell me.”

Asha looked away from him, her fears growing as she struggled to voice her anxieties to her husband. This was the part of marriage she still struggled with, being vulnerable and letting him in.

“Hey, look at me, baby.” His hand gently guided her chin so her eyes were back on him. “Whatever you have, whatever you are feeling… the good, the bad, all the complicated feelings in between, I want to hear them. I want all of you, always, Asha. Please, tell me what is troubling you.”

“Do you think I would be a good mother?” She whispered.

M’Baku tilted his head in confusion. Of all the things he expected her to say, this was not it. “Of course. Why would you ask such a thing?”

Asha sighed, a tear falling down her cheek. “Y-You know how my parents were. I mean, I basically died a-and my mother didn’t even check on me. She never protected me o-or loved me. The moment she could rid me from her life, she did. I probably don’t have a mothering bone i-in my body. I don’t know how to do this a-and I thought we would have more time for me to figure it out. A-and I am terrified… terrified I will disappoint them a-and you.”

M’Baku settled next to her, a comforting hand rubbing her back. “You are nothing like your parents, Asha. What’s that American saying, ‘the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree?’ Well, you and your siblings seemed to have fallen in a different field.” His heart lifted at the little smile at graced her face at his joke. It shattered him to hear how little she thought of herself, how her parents’ actions still haunted her. He understood, saw it every time they were in the Golden City.

She had begun healing from her relationship with her father since she spoke with him in the Ancestral Plane… she had closure at least. But her mother… that was a minefield he, T’Challa, and Shuri tried to avoid, at Asha’s insistence. They maintained pleasantries at official events and in front of the Council, for the sake of optics. But other than that, M’Baku couldn’t think of the last time she and her mother had uttered two words directly to each other or been in the same room without T’Challa and Shuri. However, that didn’t stop the snide remarks sent her way from her mother.

Asha pretended it didn’t bother her to be ignored, disrespected by her mother continuously. But M’Baku saw it, the way her heart fell - even just for a second - every single time. He remembered her coronation 6 months ago, two days after their wedding. He still remembered her face when the rest of her family and friends descended from the Talon but her Ramonda didn’t. T’Challa’s sorry attempt to find an excuse for her couldn’t hide what they all knew: the Queen Mother simply didn’t care to attend. It crushed her, he knew, to never be accepted by her. He cursed himself for never thinking about how that might affect her feelings about parenting their own children.

He wrapped his arm around her, her body immediately nestling into his. “I have seen the way you are with our nieces and nephews, the other children here. They all love you, Asha. You are nurturing and kind, gentle. But most importantly, you affirm them always, you uplift them and do everything in your power to ensure they know how valuable and important they are. You are already leagues and bounds ahead of your mother. I have no doubt in your mothering abilities because you are a mother to everyone in this tribe who needs you. I have no doubt you will be the same for our child,” his hand rubbed her stomach through her thick knit sweater.

“You think so?” She asked quietly, wiping her tears.

He kissed the side of her head, “I know so. And I also know there is no shame in fear, usana. Fear is the consequence that comes with growing and stretching ourselves as people. Parenting is hard, it will be the hardest thing we ever do. And I am scared too,” he nodded, nonverbally reiterating his statement at her skeptical eyebrow raise. “I am. But I will lean on Hanuman and I will lean on you, as I always do when I am scared. And I hope you will do for me. We can do this, Asha. You can do this.”

Asha nodded, smiling at him, “You are amazing. How did I get so lucky?” Her lips connected with his cheek, his coarse beard tickling her lips.

“I ask Hanuman the same thing everyday about you,” he whispered back, kissing her forehead. “Come on firecracker,” he laughed as he watched her try to hide a yawn. “My Queen deserves all the rest and relaxation.”

He helped her strip down to her undies before giving her one of his sweaters to sleep in and helped her into bed. Before she settled fully, she waved her hand to extinguish the fire across the room, her body heat being enough for both of them. Once she was settled, he joined her as she draped her body over his bare chest.

“This will be good, Asha. We will be great parents,” he said as they laid in the darkness.

Asha smiled, the first genuine one since she found out the news.

“I think we will too.”

***

Tag List: @destinio1 @muse-of-mbaku @jellybean531 @skysynclair19@ashanti-notthesinger @gloriousgam3r @archivistofwakanda@leahnicole1219 @mygirlrenee @dramaqueeenamby

[starryse]

Stranger From The Café

13 Days of SVT Christmas- Day 2

Joshua x Reader

Christmas au, fluff, slight angst in the beginning, no warnings

3.4k

They say Christmas is the most magical time of year. The snow falling acts as a beautiful scenery for pictures with your loved ones, Christmas dinners allow you to spend time with family and friends, and the music and gifts all symbols of the love you have for each other. Christmas is the one day a year where you forget everything, all your struggles and worries are out the window as you spend time with the ones you love.

Unfortunately for you, you weren’t one of those lucky souls.

“Y-you’re breaking up with me?”

“I’m sorry, y/n. Things were just getting boring between us. Besides, Haesul is-“

The tears threatening to spill suddenly haulted at that. Your eyes snapping up to stare at the man in front of you, “Haesul? The same girl who you said was just a friend?”

Your now ex shifted in his seat, eyes drifting to look outside the window instead of at you. His hands fiddled with the spoon in his empty bowl, the metal clinking against the glass. Oh, you understood now.

You folded your arms against your chest. “She was never just a friend, was she?” The man bit his lip, shaking his head. He opened his mouth to speak, but God forbid would you sit here and listen to anymore of his lies.

“Just leave, Seojoon. You don’t have anything to explain to me, we broke up, remember?” And at that, the raven haired man stood up, slipping his jacket over his shoulders, leaving without a single trace but the couples bracelet you two wore that now sat on the café table.

You let out a shaky sigh, propping your arms on the table, hiding your face in your hands. You sat there for a solid 10 minutes, soaking in what just happened. Your boyfriend, of 2 years, broke up with you over a woman he claimed was just a friend. The day before Christmas for Gods sake. You groaned into your hands, probably receiving weird looks from the customers around you. Not that you cared, the only thing on your mind was the prick you unfortunately spent two long years- time you can’t get back.

Sure he wasn’t the best boyfriend, let alone man, but he at least made you feel wanted. When you were stressed from work or class, he always found a way to take your mind off it- need be it was typically through going clubbing (something you weren’t fond of but did it anyways). You couldn’t say you’ll miss him as your boyfriend, but you’ll miss the feeling of having someone. Your own person who you know will love you and be there for you through anything. Now who do you have?

You weren’t ready to go home, then you’d face the reality of the fact you’ll be spending Christmas alone this year. Your family lived in the states and your friends were too busy with their own significant others. Not that you need a new partner or even just a one night stand, but you could use somebody to be free with, to be happy and careless all at the same time.

“Hi, do you mind if I sit here? You seemed pretty glum and I’m kind of by myself too, haha”

You lifted your head, hair falling in front of your eyes. Moving your hair away from your face, your vision cleared to see a good-looking, young man in front of you. He resembled a cat the way his eyes were sharp and looking into your own. Though his smile had a whole different vibe, his teeth looking like that of a rabbit. Your heart started beating just a little faster at the looks of the man, he truly was someone you would fall in love with at first sight.

Finally clicking that he asked you a question, you quickly formed incoherent words, “u-uhm yeah go ahead.” Really y/n? Smooth.

The mans smile widened, his head nodding in appreciation as he moved to sit in front of you. The male leaned forward, sitting just a little closer to you instead of leaving an awkward space. You quickly reached across the table, moving the dirty bowl and silverware that sat in front of him. He seemed pleased, offering a quiet thank you.

“I’m Joshua! But you can call me Josh, or Shua”

You smiled for the first time since you had been left alone in the café, “I’m y/n”. Joshua grinned, eyes crinkling at the corners. Cute. “Nice to meet you, y/n. I’m sorry I just kind of shoved my way over here”. You waved your hand out, the smile not leaving your face, “no it’s okay, truth be told I was kind of alone too” Joshua’s smile faltered a bit, his head tilting to the side a bit, “may I ask why? You don’t have to tell me of course!”

Meh fuck it.

“Myyy boyfriend, well now ex, just dumped me. Like 10 minutes before you got here” you weakly smiled, though it probably looked a little frightening in his pov. His eyes widened, his mouth opening then closing, “oh shit, wow, I’m so sorry y/n. That’s kind of a dick move of him to do it right before Christmas” Joshua swore at himself, seriously Josh? Way to overstep your boundaries.

You laughed, agreeing with the boy. “It was a dick move, huh? And the worst part-“ Josh leaned it, a huh leaving his lips, “it was because of a bitch he swore was just his friend” The raven haired man oohed, his face wincing at your words.

“What a classic douchebag move, wow. I’m sure he doesn’t deserve you, y/n. You seem like a great person” you blushed at that, face heating up at his remark. Stuttering over your words, you went with just smiling and looking away towards the waitress who was coming your way.

The blonde woman stood in front of your table, asking if there was anything she could get you or the cheesy man in front of you.

“What are your best Christmas drinks right now?”

The waitress pondered, looking at her notepad, “well we have peppermint egg nog, those are pretty good if you’re into mint. We also have double chocolate hot chocolate, which is basically chocolate milk hot cocoa instead of white milk”

Joshua took notice of the way your eyes lit up when she said chocolate, smoothly telling the waitress he’d like two double hot chocolates. You glanced at Josh in confusion, “two?” The male nodded his head, folding his arms in front of him.

“Mhm. I saw your face when she brought up chocolate, so I went on a whim and figured you’d like one too”

Is this an angel Gods sent your way in remorse of the way your poor, sad excuse of life has turned out?

The double hot chocolate was now your favorite drink, you ending up drinking both yours and Josh’s (he didn’t like the sweetness). The sun had started setting, meaning the café was going to be closing soon. The last 2 hours were spent bullshitting with the newfound friend in front of you, your mind completely forgetting the fact you had been dumped and Christmas was indeed tomorrow.

Josh kept you distracted, his witty jokes making you laugh and forget all your problems, all while his pretty face kept your attention on him. You could say you definitely weren’t ready to leave the café. Leave Josh. Do you ask him for his number? Is that creepy? I mean you’ve only known him for 2 hours, he’s still a stranger, and you were always told stranger danger. But damn, if every stranger looked and acted like Joshua, then danger was your middle name.

“This might be a little weird, but could I have your number? I swear I’m not trying to have sex with you, I know you’re literally just going through a breakup.”

Oh, well that solves that problem.

You laughed, already passing your phone to the stuttering man. He thanked you, sending you a message to let you know it’s him. Your phone dinged, signifying you for his text.

From: stranger from café

This is Josh! :)

You smiled at his choice of name, mumbling a cute to yourself. Unbeknownst to you, the smug male in front of you heard the comment, his cheeks turning a shade of pink.

That night after you had returned back to your quaint apartment downtown, you quickly shot Josh a text. Eagerly waiting for his response, you distracted yourself by making your favorite Christmas dish in the meantime.

The sound of your phone dinging in the living room caused you to stop in your tracks. You quickly tossed the oven kits on the counter and ran to check your phone. Why were you so excited, you just met him today?? Huffing, you unlocked your phone, your gaze immediately landing upon your text messages. His contact name popped up, following with a line of messages he responded with. You read through the messages, your eyes bulging at the last one:

From: stranger from café

Would you wanna spend Christmas with me and my friends tomorrow?

Your heart started beating fast, fingers quickly typing an

“Id love to” in response.

You were ready to get no sleep tonight.

Morning came faster than you anticipated, not that you could complain- it was Christmas! Though more importantly, you get to spend it with the cute stranger you met at the café.

You raise yourself from the comforts of your bed, vision still blurry from sleep. Normally you’d stay in bed, wake up whenever Seojoon decides he wants to be up, and do nothing but sleep and watch movies all day- not the most extravagant way to spend Christmas. Today was a change of pace, and whether the urge to vomit was excitement or nervousness you’ll never know. You yawned, stretching your arms over your head, before standing up out of bed and beginning to get ready.

After the process of fixing yourself up enough to not look like a gremlin, you were finally on your way to Joshua’s house. Your palms were sweaty as you knocked on his door, nerves running through your body. “Just be cool, y/n. He’s just a cute guy you met at the café and just happen to maybe think it was love at first sight, no biggie. Confidence bitch, confidence!”

“Did you just call yourself a bitch?” Your head popped up at the sudden voice, eyes locking with said cute guy. You chuckled nervously, muttering a no. Joshua ignored your nervousness, laughing instead and inviting you inside.

As soon as you entered the apartment, your nose was immediately met with the smell of honey glazed ham and freshly made bread. You followed Josh to where you were assuming is the kitchen, eyes mindlessly lookijg around his place. “Mingyu, this is y/n!” You softly smiled, waving at the tall brunette in front of you.

Mingyu walked over, wiping his hands on the apron he wore around his waist,

“Hi I’m Mingyu! I mean you kinda already know that cause he already said it, haha” you giggled, responding with an it’s okay as he smiled at you. You looked behind Mingyu, seeing the cause of the strong food smell when you entered. Your eyes widened, mouth opening just a tad, “holy shit, did you make all this?”

Mingyu‘a cheeks grew pink, eyes twinkling in happiness as he nodded his head in confirmation. You stood in awe, there must have been food to feed at least 20 people here, how did one man make all this? You looked back at the blushing man who’s hands were behind his back as he swayed side to side, “wow I can’t wait to try everything, it looks really good, Mingyu!”

Mingyu’s chest puffed, his cheeks becoming even redder than before. Oh my God he’s like a puppy, you thought.

“Josh I love her already, please keep her around”

Now you were the blushing fool, thanking Mingyu. Meanwhile Josh stood there watching the exchange, happy to see his friends were getting along. He smiled at Mingyus comment, “that’s the plan, Gyu”.

Josh continued to show you around his place, introducing you to his friends along the way. It was then you later realized why Mingyu had made so much food. Each of the boys seemed insanely sweet, some hyper and loud, but sweet nonetheless. You understood why Josh was friends with them, you would be too.

The two of you had made you way to the living room with everyone else, making small talk (or in this case loud talk because holy shit, 13 guys in one room is chaos) with the boys. You had gained a liking towards the youngest, maybe it’s because you were closer in age, but he was probably your favorite so far- other than the cute man-puppy you met earlier, of course.

“Let’s play a game!” The one you presumed to be Seungkwan suddenly announced, moving to stand on his knees.

Agreements were heard around the room, including you and Joshua. Seungkwan began to explain the rules to the best of his ability, separating everyone into teams of 2. Lucky for you, you really hoped at least because your competitiveness was no joke, you were paired with the raven haired boy.

The point of the game was simple: you and your partner were to complete each mission successfully, all while trying to be the first to complete it. Whoever finishes first the most amount of times, wins the game.

Let the games begin

“Oh my God again??!”

You fell to the ground hand cupping your mouth, tears threatening to spill as Joshua stood on the other side of you, laughing his ass off at his members' yell of frustration.

“I mean seriously people?! This is the 4th game you’ve won in a row!!” Chan’s cries were as loud as the music blasting over the tv’s speakers, his body crouched on the ground while his hands ruffled his dirty blonde hair in frustration.

You grabbed the towel on the table next to you, wiping the vaseline from your face as you stood up.

“Okay I think we have a clear winner- team cat eyes wins!” Seungkwans announcement caused you and Josh to scream victory, arms clinging around one another as you jump around. The rest of the boys watched, sourness from losing etched over their faces- especially the poor maknae who was currently having a mental breakdown on the plush carpeting.

Josh unwrapped his arms from your shoulders, stepping back to stand by your side. You could feel the sweat drip down the back of your neck, body completely exhausted from the last 2 hours of playing against the 13 competitive boys. The stickiness of the Vaseline was still evident on your cheeks, the makeup you had thrown on in the morning completely melted off. You patted Joshua’s shoulder, him turning his head to look at you, “where’s the bathroom? I’ve gotta get this Vaseline off”

“Ah it’s right down the hall, I’ll show you!”

Joshua smiled, heavy breaths leaving his mouth as he guided you. He flicked on the switch, the overhead light lighting up the bathroom with a soft orange glow. You thanked him, sitting on the counter as went to grab you a towel.

“Here ya go” he passed you the towel, going to sit on the bathtub next to the sink. You ran the towel under the faucet before beginning to wipe away the gunk that was sticky on your skin. Josh tapped his fingers on the tub, propping his feet against the side, “the guys love you”

You glanced over at him in the mirror, rinsing the towel before continuing to wipe your face, “what can I say, guess I’m loveable” Joshua laughed, his face scrunching up forming whisker-like lines next to his nose. “I can’t say I disagree.”

Your face was warm, and not just from the constant rubbing of the harsh towel. Joshua’s words had no intent other than pure friendliness- you knew this; but you couldn’t help the pink that spread against your cheeks. You suddenly forget that you’ve know the boy on the tub for a short 24 hours, your brain already working so many future scenarios that involve him.

You simply shook your head, a soft smile appearing on your face. You placed the now dirty towel next to the sink, turning to face Josh. “Ready to re-join the circus?” The man snorted, nodding his head, as you both exited the bathroom.

It was nearing midnight, meaning your Christmas festivities were coming to an end. The boys had left about an hour ago, leaving just you and Josh.

The sky was a dark grey, the streetlights highlighting the area with specs of white as the final Christmas snow fell. The coat Josh let you borrow was keeping you warm, but the boy currently huddled against your side made you content. Your hands were covered in a thin pair of white gloves, a to-go cup of cocoa from the same café you met Josh at currently being coddled in between your hands.

You looked over at Joshua, his face settled in a small smile as he watched the cars below pass by. His fringe was sprawled flat against his forehead, the cream colored beanie he wore covering the rest. You scooted closer against the male, his head turning down to look at you. Your head nuzzled against his shoulder, face being squished against his puffy coat.

“I’m really glad you came, y/n”

Joshua’s voice was gentle, his own gloved hands reaching up from its previous spot behind your back, fingers lightly moving your hair behind your ear. His hand cupped your cheek, constellation filled eyes looking into your own, “Would you hold it against me if I kissed you right now?”

You leaned forward, softly placing your lips against Joshua’s. Your noses pressed together as he moved his lips back against your own, soft breaths slipping through the small gaps. Your lips slowly detached, a thin layer of saliva the only thing keeping them together as you rested your forehead against his. “I think that was an answer, what do you think?”

Joshua smiled, “I think I’m gonna need a more solid yes or no”

“Oh yeah?” You grinned back, your lips already going to press on his own, his hands pressing against the small of your back. He pulled back, a soft pop sounding in the air from the disappearance of your lips against his.

“Ah see now I understand, thanks for clarifying”

You laughed, head leaning back while Joshua watched, his own laughs leaving his throat. A sudden gust of wind blew across the rooftop, your hair flying against your face. Joshua shivered, hands pulling you up from your spot as he stood up, “Wanna head inside? I have a soft bed and warm clothes with your name on it.”

“Does the soft bed come with a cute, shivering boy?”

Josh snorted, kissing your forehead before tugging you along with him towards the rooftop door, “the cute shivering boy goes wherever his adorable, shaking girl is”

True to his word, the change of clothes Josh let you wear were indeed warm. The clothes smelt of light cologne, the old UCLA sweatshirt long against your body, sleeves falling to the middle of your palm.

You currently sat against his beds headboard, Santa Clause playing on his tv. Layers of fuzzy blankets were covering your lower body, pillows propped against your back. The Christmas lights you found in the corner of his closet were currently strung against his walls, you insisting that you put them up.

The sounds of the movie were faded in the background, yours and Joshua’s laughter much louder in comparison. Pieces of cheddar popcorn were scattered on the bed and floor due to the failed attempts of tossing them into each other’s mouths.

“I think-“ you laughed, “I think this is the most amount of fun I’ve had on Christmas ever- actually scratch that, that I’ve ever had in general”

Joshua smiled, his hand pulling you tighter against him, “and I think I have to agree”

[currywaifu]

𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: scouting dilemma 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: hyodo juza/reader 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 1.7k words

𝐚𝐧: guess who was inspired by the 2020 gem heist? wrote a dumb little thing dedicated to all my fallen comrades bc juza won’t come home to them after the reset- sorry to the requests I have yet to fulfill! year 2 ages btw~

This was the moment you’ve been waiting for. You managed to save up a massive amount of gems, waiting to be spent on a banner with your best boy in it. For months, your fingers itched to pull but you were loyal (with a few caving exceptions) to the character who got you into the game in the first place.

When the developers finally announced a banner with him in it, an SSR of best boy in a summer outfit no less, it was as if fate decided to tell you now was the moment to splurge strike.

9:58 pm.

Staring at your phone screen, you made sure everything was prepared before you could summon. You decided to do your first pull at 10 pm (his favourite number was 10), and surrounded your phone with a summon circle made entirely out of candies still in their wrappers.

9:59 pm.

You sent your prayers to the gacha gods, counting down the seconds until the clock struck-

10:00 pm.

With a shriek, you nearly ruined your summon circle formation of sweets as you scrambled to your phone, clicking the bright, shiny button that had tempted you endlessly.

“Yes, I’m sure I want to spend! Come home, come home, come home…” you chanted, unable to decide whether you should close your eyes until the final results or keep them wide open.

Choosing the latter, you gritted your teeth at the sequence of cards arriving.

R, Event R, R, R, Dupe SR, R, R, R, R, Event SR.

Suppressing the scream that wanted to escape your throat, you tried to laugh it off. At least you got two of the event cards…? Maybe it would have been better to wait until 10:10 pm?

An SNS notification popped up at the top of your screen, and from the little summary, you could tell you were gonna get upset at the contents. Checking the chat, your mutual quickly followed up her message with a screencap of your best boy. Coming home to her.

You quickly sent your response before promptly returning to the game, ‘asdfghjkl im happy for u but like also muting u rn :’< brb soon hopefully yeet need to retrieve my boi from the game’s clutches cya’

Despite your initial optimism, as the pulls kept going, the lower your gem count, the worse your mood became.

Should… should you stop right now? Banner really said no rights to best boy, huh? Sure you were able to fully merge a bunch of SRs and even the event R and SR cards, but not once did he come home? Even his sworn rival’s initial SSR came home if only to spite you or him or both.

Mentally exhausted, you decided to sleep. Maybe your luck would be better tomorrow?

When you walked into the room with a frown visible on your face, Juza immediately knew something was wrong.

From even before he got together with you, he was always sensitive to the different expressions you made, and by association your emotions— to the little smile on your face as you ate desserts together or the eyebrow furrow-pout combo you did when the professor said something you didn’t agree with. He’d never say how fun it was, seeing the different faces you’d make.

However, while those were cute, this just made him worry.

He’d really rather not fight anyone, but if he has to beat up someone…

Juza found himself distracted during class, unable to stop himself from constantly looking at you every few minutes. With a faint peach staining his cheeks, he slipped his hand underneath the desk to grasp your own.

“… you okay?” he said, voice low and quiet as to not catch anyone else’s attention. The look on your face turns a little softer, even throwing him a quick smile but he knows you well enough to spot the traces of sadness still present.

You don’t reply, squeezing his hand back as you finally tried to pay attention to the professor.

He sighed, slowly releasing your hand from beneath the table. He’ll find a way to make you feel better later, but for now, he had to take notes— for the both of you, it looked.

It’s not every day that Juza does most of the talking, but that just so happened to be the case today. He’s getting restless, stuck between actively wanting to help you out with whatever you needed or just sticking by you and letting you overcome whatever’s troubling you on your own.

You’ll talk when you want to, he knew that, but even still he wanted to be more useful to you. Do you want him to just keep talking to help you take your mind off things? Do you want to rant to him so he can listen? Do you want him to get you something? He’s not the best at giving advice, but if you needed it he’d do his best.

He doesn’t know what to do. You’re responding to him, but your mind is all the way elsewhere.

The next thing he knew, he’s getting a spoonful of his frozen dessert and pressing it against your lips.

You get startled from your thoughts when a sudden icy temperature meets your mouth. You opened your mouth, cringing slightly at the cool before finally enjoying the shaved ice dessert.

While it wasn’t uncommon for Juza to let you taste the food he ate and vice versa, he was usually more reserved, too shy to feed you in public.

‘He must have been worried,’ you thought to yourself if he had to do that just to catch your attention. You immediately shifted your thoughts from the game to Juza, already about to apologise for troubling him before he interrupted you.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and even though he had a scowl on his face, he looked at you with tight and worried eyes.

He knew you played games on your phone, but it was still a bit embarrassing to admit that you were upset for such a long duration because of your best boy not coming home. However, Juza deserved to know, so you pushed away your hesitance before explaining the whole fiasco to him.

Juza doesn’t get it entirely. He’s bordering between relief and confusion— on one hand, at least no one wanted to hurt you or fight you or anything; on the other hand, a 2D guy got you upset?

The concept isn’t completely foreign to him, what with Itaru-san and even Settsu constantly gaming, but usually it was his roommate being irritating and gloating while the salaryman got frustrated, eventually passing his phone to Sakuya.

He’s honestly shell-shocked that you’re upset, so even though he doesn’t understand why it’s such a big deal he’ll do what he can to make you feel better. He’s not the best at comforting people, he can never find the right words… but he’s good at listening.

He placed his hand on top of yours, grateful you don’t point it out verbally or he might actually combust. He can only hope the two of you are seated secluded enough that no one comes by.

Something’s starting to bother him though. The more he listens to you, the more he’s conflicted— if you’re dedicating that much of your… gems (?) to this guy he gets why you’re upset. Another part of him wonders what’s so great about this specific guy.

He’s not upset nor is he jealous, he’s just… figuring out what specific traits you like in this guy. For future reference. Who knew, maybe he’d get to play a role similar to the character you like so much?

“Why do you like him so much, anyway?” He asked, staring intently at you.

Your attitude quickly changed from being upset to being excited to talk about your favourite character.

“He’s just so kind and thoughtful! A total gap moe, you wouldn’t expect him to be so family-oriented because of his appearance but he totally is!” you began, barely catching a break to breathe before continuing on, “plus he didn’t start off as the strongest? But he’s constantly trying his best you just want to root for him and care for him?”

Unexpectedly, Juza finds himself a little flustered, though he’s unsure of why when you’re only describing a character. Perhaps it was the look on your face while you talked?

“Plus, he looks a lot like you! Obviously, I need him to come home, right?” you exclaimed, hitting him straight in the heart with your crinkled eyes and a beautiful smile.

The hand that was comforting you a while ago and gently rubbing patterns onto your skin stilled. You noticed right away, hoping you didn’t say anything too weird during your rant.

“Juza?”

He’s silent for a while, unsure of what to do and ultimately deciding to say the first thing that popped up in his head.

“… then why’d you need him to come home if I’m already-“

When he heard you squeal he stopped himself from continuing whatever he was going to say. Did you hear him? Dumb question, of course, you did!

You covered your face with your hands, unsuccessfully hiding the strawberry red colouring your face, and screamed internally. You can’t see how Juza is reacting but you just heard a bang on the table?

‘Juza? Who told you to- istg I’ll have you arrested for-‘

After a few moments, you’re the one who ultimately breaks the silence, knowing neither of you had enough will to point out the warm flecks that still remained on both of your faces.

“We should get going. Our class is all the way in another building,” you said, slowly standing up from your seat.

“… ‘kay.”

You’re not holding hands while walking, but if he noticed the frequency of your hand grazing his he doesn’t let you know.

Reaching the midpoint between your classroom and his, you turn to face him before splitting off in the hallway. You look to see if the coast was clear, and to Juza’s surprise, you enveloped him into a warm embrace, quick but heartfelt. Neither of you saw each other’s expressions, but Juza wondered if your heart raced just as fast as his did.

“Thank you for making me feel better… I love you,” you whisper the last part, before untangling yourself from him and speed walking away to your classroom. You miss the way Juza looks back at you, body frozen but face a mixture of shock and longing and love.

want to order again?

[artificialqueens]

Girl I Met On The Internet, 1/? (Crystal x Gigi) - Strawberry

a/n: it’s me, the anon who was talking about writing a crygi stan twitter au. and as someone who has spent many hours on social media, i really enjoy reading social media aus so i decided to write one. my writing skills are rusty and i’m not sure how long this will end up being, but i hope you guys enjoy it regardless and stay for the (not really) wild ride! :-) 

Crystal was very active on stan Twitter. Being an outcast at school with only friendly acquaintances, she used it to fill her need for the social interaction she was not getting in person. 

That being said, she didn’t have a set group of Twitter friends yet. She was very friendly with all of her mutuals, having conversations on the timeline with a handful of them, but she had yet to make a deeper connection with anyone.

She had thought about joining a group chat, but they made her feel anxious. A lot of them have forty members! That seemed extremely overwhelming to her.

The poor girl had spent an hour one night weighing the pros and cons, and in the end, her desire for friendship beat her anxiety. She promised herself she would go out of her comfort zone and would rt the next group chat tweet she saw. Possibly. Maybe.  

-

She had made that promise to herself on Tuesday. It was now Saturday, and Crystal had woken up pretty early, determined to finish writing a story for her creative writing class. It was unusual for her to be up before noon, but today just felt different. Once she finished it, she opened up a new tab and went to Twitter, curious to see if anyone was awake. Jan was.

jan! • @.arisjantasy

rt to be in a random group chat!! 

requirements: 

just be nice! :)

adding the first 10 people who rt!

There were 6 rts already, so Crystal hit rt as fast as she could to reserve her spot. Jan was very nice, possibly the nicest mutual Crystal had ever made; if Crystal was forcing herself to join a group chat, one made by Jan would be ideal. 

Nervous, Crystal switched tabs, going to YouTube. Because it was so early, none of her favorite creators had uploaded anything new. She ends up clicking on an older video she had watched dozens of times. Halfway through the video, she gets a Twitter notification.

jan! has added you to a group.

jan!: hey guys!! :) 

Crystal quickly types out an introduction and sends it.

crystal: hi! thank you so much for adding me. im crystal! 

jaida: the queen of the gc has arrived. hi

crystal: hi jaida!

jan!: no problem, crystal. you seem very nice! 

nicky: bonjour ;)

gigi: good morning everyone

gigi: nicky we get it ur french

Gigi was here? Crystal saw her on her timeline a lot, despite not following her. She was Jan’s best friend, but seemed very intimidating. She reminded Crystal of the girls at school who would call her not so nice names, but she hoped Gigi wasn’t like that since she was close with sweet Jan who didn’t have a mean bone in her body. 

gigi: omg crystal hi

gigi: i don’t like 1d but u seem very nice it’s nice to meet u

Yes, it was 2020 and Crystal was still a One Direction stan account. She had lost hope that they would get back together ages ago, but she still supported all five of them. They were the only men she would ever love. 

crystal: i can change that just give me a week SKSGFDS

jaida: i love zayn does that count

crystal: yes ma’am!

heidi: HEY! sorry i’m late!

jaida: oh, miss heidi made the cut?

heidi: 9th rt, bitch.

jan!: jaida be nice :((

jaida: No <3

gigi: dont play fight yet ur scaring crystal!!! 

heidi: well. in that case.

heidi: crystal, tell us about yourself

jaida: pls.. i’m sick of these other hoes.. i’m a crystal stan now

jan!: :(( 

jan!: but yes crystal pls!

crystal: let’s see.. im crystal, im 16, a lesbian. i stan 1d, poppy, and i really like painting!! and thrifting!! 

Crystal wasn’t expecting to feel included since they definitely had an established group already. Them being interested in hearing about her made her feel like she fit right in.

She really hoped they would end up liking her.

-

A week later, the group chat was going strong. Crystal, Jan, Jaida, Heidi, Gigi and Nicky were the only ones who ended up talking in the group, so they decided to kick everyone else out. Jaida had the pleasure of renaming their chat to “Elites Only” after that, which everyone approved of.

They opened Crystal into their friend group with open arms, which Crystal was incredibly thankful for.

Crystal loved them all, but Gigi had to be her favorite. They had all shared fun facts about each other after Crystal did, and Gigi had revealed that she was also a lesbian, but was only out online. She was a cheerleader also who loved fashion and design. her account was very put together, filled with pictures of girls Crystal would later find out are from America’s Next Top Model.

Gigi fascinated Crystal.  

The other girls were also pretty cool. Jan was also a cheerleader who had high energy constantly. Jaida competed in beauty pageants, also had the pleasure of being the funniest person in the group. Heidi jokingly referred to herself as a ‘gamer girl’, but really only played the Sims 4. Nicky lived in France and had an odd obsession with sheep. Nicky also flirted with Gigi a lot and Crystal couldn’t tell if they were a thing or not. she didn’t know if Nicky was gay, but the thought that they were a thing made her feel sick to her stomach.

Crystal opened up her Twitter app on her way to school, seeing the last message to be sent was from Nicky, at nearly three in the morning.

nicky: i think you’re asleep for once due to the lack of noise.. weird and boring!

nicky: but anyway i hope you hoes have a good day <3 

Crystal smiled and hearted the message. 

crystal: someone wake up im boreeedddd 

jan!: hey im in bio!! its boring :(

crystal: im walking to school lol 

gigi: good morning jan and crystal bbs <3

Crystal knew she didn’t mean it like that, but it still made her soul leave her body. Naturally, she exited Twitter. This was far too much for eight in the morning. Far too early to address any of her feelings.

She had managed to go most of the morning without checking Twitter but eventually, after a bad encounter with one of the cheerleaders in her history class, Crystal gave in to her urges and checked her phone to try to cheer herself up.

Definitely a bad idea.

nicky: i want to post selfies before i go to bed

nicky: you all will support yes?

gigi: YES BABE!!!

Babe? Crystal wants to cry. 

jaida: i need your beauty on my tl now

crystal: yeah i wanna see what you look like

Crystal feels stupid. She’s known Gigi for a week; she doesn’t even know what Gigi, let alone the rest of them look like. Crystal thinks it’s far too early to catch feelings for someone on Twitter.

Nicky posts her selfies, and Crystal quickly confirms that she’s one of the most gorgeous women on the planet. No wonder Gigi was probably dating her. 

She goes back onto the timeline, only for it to be filled with nothing but Gigi hyping up Nicky.

gigi • @.jennerbitch

NICKY OH MY FUCJKING GO D??

gigi • @.jennerbitch

MY LITERAL WIFE WTF

gigi • @.jennerbitch

IM GAY!!!!!!

Well, that confirmed what she had suspected. 

Once Crystal got home from school, she types out a tweet before throwing her phone on her bed, distracting herself with homework.

crystal • @.mitamcrystal

sad girl hours :(

She checked her phone first thing in the morning out of habit. There were tons of messages from the group chat, as usual, but also a message outside of the group chat.

From Gigi. 

[milky-mochi]

late night texts | csb

genre: fluff, crush! soobin, close friend! soobin, friends to lovers, soobin is a fluffy baby okay he’s a cute blundering mess

pairing: choi soobin x reader

word count: 1.7k

summary: soobin is helplessly head over heels for the girl he cares so much for, but he keeps his feelings to himself, until things suddenly change for the better, over late night texts and blooming roses.

song: 🎶 blueming by iu 🎶

soobin's fingers hung over his messenger app in anticipation.

It was half past ten, and yet his phone delivered him no message from you. you had promised him that you would text him at quarter past, after your shift at your internship had ended, but fifteen minutes had passed and there was still no green dot beside your icon.

soobin just assumed you had fallen asleep after a tiring day, which he totally understood. he didn't blame you one bit, knowing how tired you must have been after non-stop activities for twenty hours. sighing in defeat, he placed his phone face down and cracked his knuckles.

he missed you so much his heart ached, but he could never text you first. he didn't know if he meant enough to you for it to not be annoying, and soobin was a big coward.

just as he got up to get a drink as a distraction, his phone chimed. soobin nosedived into his table so hard to grab his phone that he probably could've broken it.

at the top of his notifications, a light blue notification from you awaited him, labelled clearly with your contact name. soobin had been too afraid to put a heart beside your name (for fear of the boys finding out, or even worse, you). but you were too special to him for it to just be your name. so he copied a cute little flower emoticon from this layout site and placed it lovingly beside your first name, even though he knew that his contact in your phone was probably saved as every one else was.

clicking on the notification, soobin's furrowed eyebrows smoothened and his bunny smile revealed itself. the thought of you never failed to make his day a whole lot better.

y/n ❁: hey soobin! :D

y/n ❁: sorry im so late :(( i missed the bus and didn't get home until like 2 minutes ago

soobin sighed as he let out a knowing smile. you had busted your data watching videos of your favourite drama a week ago, so you couldn't text him on the bus.

binbread: omg it's okay y/n

binbread: don't you wanna take a shower first? i can wait!

y/n ❁: i'm alright, soobin. thank you tho 🥺

y/n ❁: and besides,

y/n ❁ is typing…

y/n ❁: i'd much rather talk to you

soobin felt his heart pounding in his chest, felt the blood circulating through his fingertips, his face, his entire body. he was flushed red and felt warmth consume him, leaving him with the jittery, skittery feeling that your sweet words always bestow him with.

binbread: y/n omg aaaaaaaa

binbread: 🥺🥺🥺

binbread: i love talking to you too

binbread: how was your day?

whenever soobin asked you this at the end of every day, it was never just a conversation starter, let alone a formality. he genuinely always wanted to know how your day went, worried at how much you exerted yourself to serve others. soobin knew how reckless you were when it came to your own needs, and he sealed a secret promise to always look after you, especially when you didn’t look after yourself.

y/n ❁: omg it was amazing

y/n ❁: there’s this guy named hangyul who just started interning with me

y/n ❁: he’s so funny omg i actually had to tell him to shut up so i could get work done

guiltily, soobin felt his heart drop. of course there was another guy, someone much better, someone of the quality you deserved-

y/n ❁: ok lowkey

y/n ❁: think im gonna set him up with seungyoun

binbread: seungyoun? the guy from your dance studio?

y/n ❁: yeah!!! they’d go so well together

y/n ❁: oh yeah

y/n ❁: hangyul is gay

y/n ❁: lmao

soobin felt embarrassed at how relieved he was. soobin was definitely the jealous type, and he hated it. he hated the way his mind would jump to conclusions, hated the way he always felt on the verge of being replaced, and he really hated the way his jealousy was always amplified when it came to you.

you didn’t have any mutual friends, so he’d rarely ever have to see you interact with any other guy. he was so grateful for that. who knows what his jealous heart would do if he saw you with someone else. at least, with this, he had that false sense of security that maybe, maybe, your feelings echoed his own.

binbread: omg do it y/n

binbread: don’t you need to sleep though

binbread: as much as i love talking to you

binbread: you literally pulled like 8 all nighters in a row

y/n ❁: it was only 3 :(

y/n ❁: and i missed you :(

y/n ❁: stay soobin :(

y/n ❁: soobinnie :(

you frowned at soobin’s inactivity. little did you know, soobin’s neighbour had knocked on his door, asking if he could borrow scissors because his kid needed it for a project and he couldn’t find a pair in his home. you could have waited, but you had missed him the entire day. and you were feeling really, really, annoying.

y/n ❁: soobiiiiiiiiiiin :(

y/n ❁: soobin come back :(

y/n ❁: i miss u :(

y/n ❁: love :(

y/n ❁: baby :(

y/n ❁: you’re my

y/n ❁: honey bunch

y/n ❁: sugar plum

y/n ❁: pumpy-umpy-umpkin

y/n ❁: you’re my sweetie pie

after soobin had kindly handed his neighbour his scissors with the baby blue handles, he immediately picked up his phone and read your messages. instantly, his face burned up and he dramatically put his hand to his heart (because he was alone, and you made him do things like that just by calling him two pet names and quoting a children’s song). but as the ‘seen’ appeared at the bottom of your messages, panic began to jolt your bones.

y/n ❁: soobiiiiiiiiiiin :(

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

y/n ❁: the user has deleted this message

binbread: y/n

binbread: i saw everything you sent lmao

binbread: dont do this to me :(

y/n ❁ is typing…

y/n ❁: do what binnie? :)

binbread: that

binbread: [insert crying cat meme]

binbread: [which i don't have on me now because i cleared my storage]

y/n ❁: ok i literally cant take this

your thumbs twiddled around your screen as you inhaled sharply.

y/n ❁ is typing…

oh no, thought soobin. this is the end. this is where she gets irritated with me because i can’t take a joke. she blocks me and we never talk or hang out again. she find another guy and she’s happy without me and i’m sad and lonely and miserable, shovelling bread into my mouth as a replacement for my soul-

ding!

y/n ❁: you’re too cute for this world soobin

y/n ❁: and u make it so much better for everyone

y/n ❁: especially for me

y/n ❁: and i know this seems weird, and may very well ruin our friendship

y/n ❁: but i really really like you

y/n ❁: and im tired of hiding it

damn, soobin thought. damn i was not expecting that.

soobin’s heart was beating wildly out of his chest for the third time that day, only because of you. his fingers were shaking as he typed his reply as fast as he could. the moment he had dreamed of for months had finally come tapping on his screen.

binbread: oh my god

binbread: i like you too

binbread: i’ve liked you for like

binbread: so long

binbread: is this real

y/n ❁: or is this the fantasy

binbread: those aren’t the lyrics y/n

y/n ❁: i tried okay

binbread: and im so proud of you for doing so

binbread: truly a pop culture queen

y/n ❁: :(

binbread: okay okay

binbread: jokes aside

binbread: i've liked you for like,, 10 months now

binbread: this is a dream come true

binbread: you're a dream come true

binbread: so y/n

binbread: will you go out with me?

y/n ❁: i literally just confessed to you like 3 minutes ago

y/n ❁: like yea of course choi soobin

binbread: you could’ve just said yes :(

binbread: but okay meet me at the 5th station tmr?

binbread: i wanna take you to my favourite bakery! :D

y/n ❁: totally :D

and so here, at fifth station, act ii of your relationship with soobin had revealed itself. soobin looked like a prince, stepping out of the subway in a creme button up and black jeans, approaching you with a red rose in one hand and his phone dialling your number in the other. he smiled brightly as he approached you, seeing your face and your screen, popping up with his contact name.

incoming call…

soobin ❁

and so to his favourite bakery he brought you. it was rose themed, from rose gold metal vases to wooden countertops, and rose infused drinks and pastries, you felt like a princess. his princess. especially when he brought you for a walk in the cafe’s rose garden and you ran your hands gingerly over their velvet petals, thinking about the rose in your hand, how lucky you were to have it, and how many more of them you would get to enjoy. soobin gazed at you with soft eyes and gently took your hand in his.

“we’ll be as beautiful as this, together. a hundred roses,” soobin said, as if he were reading your mind, “wanna make them bloom with me?” 

---

a/n: ayo! hoped u liked my first soobin fic 🥺 i love choi soobin and he’s very cute,, anyway if u have any requests feel free to send em in!! i’d love to write em <3  

[teawithkpop]

[M] - PhysCom - Pt 4

pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 3 - bc 1 - pt 4 - pt 5 - pt 6

Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader

Rating: Mature [18+]

Length: 8.5k words

Genre: PhysCom AU - smut with dashes of angst, and a shitload of romance and complicated feelings,, uhuhu (porn with plot??)

Warnings: swearing, ehhh lots of angst and fighting oh nooo, and mentions of sexual acts

the plot thickens and there’s no actual smut in this part i’m sorrryyyyyy but more smut is coming!! i pinky pwomise uwu

-------

"Morning, jagiya. Do you have a minute?"

You're practically vibrating with the effort of acting normal as you process Taehyung's question. What can you even say to that? Oh, sorry. Actually, can you guys come back later? I'm kind of in the middle of discovering a secret fucking society of PhysComs who are dating their clients, and I'm trying to see if there's a way I can get in on that sweet, sweet deal. Fuck no. That's not going to work. Anything other than agreeing will sound too suspicious, and you can’t let them know what you’ve discovered. At least, not yet.

"Of course." You paste on a smile as you reply, your mind still reeling as you pull the door open all the way. You’re still wearing only your robe, but it’s silly of you to shield your body when it’s theirs to ogle during work hours anyway.

“What can I do for you, masters?” You ask sweetly, slipping on your persona like a second skin to keep your thoughts safely hidden from view. Your clients should always be your first priority. Not rule breaking, and certainly not any unlikely fantasies of romance.

Something seems off about their body language. They look uncomfortable. You’re suddenly reminded of the weird tension in the air when you last saw them, and just how fragile your position is after everything that happened last night. You need to rid their minds of what they saw at dinner. They need to view you as their eager little toy again, not someone who broke or someone to be pitied.

You instantly thicken the illusion of obscenity, eager to convince them, and maybe yourself, that things are just the same as they’ve always been.

“So… what would you like from me? A blow job? Hand job?” You stretch your arm up and lean sensually against the door, your eyes half-lidded. “Do you both want to fuck my little holes and stretch me open?” You giggle cutely and start to untie the silky belt of your robe, forcing all thoughts of your ComGear out of your head so you can focus on your job, which is pleasuring your clients. 

Jimin steps forward before you can pull the robe open, and stops your hand. He carefully ties your garment back together, though he avoids your eyes, his expression grim. “No… actually, we want to talk with you.”

Damn. You thought for sure that little ploy would at least fluster them a little, and maybe get them in the mood for something, but they both remain strangely sober.

“It’s about last night,” Taehyung supplies quietly, looking down to the floor.

Well, shit. What is there to talk about? You used your safe word and ruined everyone’s fun. Are they holding it against you or something? That's not really fair when the two of them are partially to blame for distracting you by playing mind games and messing with each other. 

Then it dawns on you. Namjoon probably sent them up to apologize for their fighting. That must be why they’re acting so stiff. After all, he did say that the three of you should work things out together.

You feel a bit relieved and give them a fleeting smile of reassurance. “Masters, it’s okay. Let’s just move on from what happened last night, hm?” You want to take their hands, but you resist the urge. You really shouldn’t initiate contact unless it’s related to their pleasure. You settle for lacing your hands coyly behind your back, making your chest stand out rather provocatively. “I’ve forgotten all about it, really.”

They both still look dreadful. Worried. You finally notice that there's a hint of pity in their eyes and it makes your skin crawl with foreboding. You get the terrible sense that this is about something bigger than safe words, squabbles, and kisses.

“No, we all want to talk to you,” Taehyung explains with a slight clearing of his throat. “In the kitchen. Namjoon-hyung sent us to… come and get you.”

You can feel your heart start to race as your adrenaline spikes from a sudden shot of fear. What could they possibly want? What's changed between last night and today? Sure, logically, they could be calling a meeting for a variety of reasons, but only one scenario is circling through your mind, over and over… and it ends with you packing your bags.

“Do you want to, like... go now, or...?” Jimin mumbles, clearly uncomfortable about the situation.

You blink, feeling dizzy. Your playful aura has disintegrated in an instant and made way for something much more frigid and fearful. “Yeah… um, let me just get dressed first,” you murmur distractedly. “I’ll be down in a minute, masters.”

They nod and thankfully take the hint that you need a moment to collect yourself. The two of them head back downstairs and you shut the door behind them, your whole body numb. You hurry to your closet, trying to retain some semblance of routine despite the storm you feel approaching.

In the daily rotation of things, Friday - last night - was Seokjin’s day for him to do as he pleases with you, and that includes deciding what you wear. The apron you’d had on yesterday was one he had picked out for you beforehand. Your closet is sectioned off into clothes and costumes chosen by each boy for you to don beneath (or in some cases on top of) your utility belt on their chosen days. Some days they request a specific outfit, but most of the time it’s up to you to select from their options. Your favorite clothes to wear are probably either the oversized hoodies with cute panties and no bottoms that Jungkook chose for you, or the crop top and leggings variations that Hoseok loves to see you wear.

But Saturday is for Yoongi, and today’s outfits are what could be considered party clothes, full of strappy leather harnesses, deep jewel-toned mini dresses, and lots of high heels. Not exactly comfort clothing. You love it when they choose what you wear and dress you up like a little doll, it’s hot and everything, but sometimes you just want to wear sweatpants. Or a t-shirt and jeans.

Fuck. You grab a pair of black booty shorts and a busty sequined halter top, the closest thing to daywear out of Yoongi’s choices, and you also elect to go barefoot. If this meeting is as bad as you fear it’ll be, then you don’t know if you’ll be able to stand upright in six inch heels for very long. Sorry, Yoongi.

You blow a lock of hair out of your eyes after squeezing yourself into the tight attire. Credit to Min Yoongi where it’s due, the top does make your tits look amazing, but honestly that should be the least of your concerns right now. You almost laugh at such a trivial thought.

Once you reach your bed, you hastily grab your ComGear, hoping you have at least a few minutes to figure out something before you’re pulled away again. There’s a backlog of messages, but thankfully not too many, as you log back into the chat room.

[ PCsv02_svt ]: oh where did she go [ PCsv01_svt ]: probably got called away [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: probably havin.. sexy times B) [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: wink wink [ PCsv01_svt ]: … [ PCsv03_mtx ]: guys you shouldn’t encourage her about dating :/ [ PCsv03_mtx ]: bad things can happen too [ PCsv06_ast ]: yea sanha is always nice to me, but I know some clients can be... not so nice [ PCsv09_$px ]: yeah, thanks [ PCsv06_ast ]: oh... sorry :( [ PCsv02_svt ]: aww aashi didn’t mean it like that G [ PCsv02_svt ]: we’re all here for you, u know that right? [ PCsv09_$px ]: mm. thanks guys [ PCsv01_svt ]: speaking of which, how are things with you? [ PCsv09_$px ]: uh.. same as always. [ PCsv01_svt ]: has anything happened since last time? [ PCsv09_$px ]: no, but they’ve been out of the house a lot [ PCsv09_$px ]: they have a lot of schedules right now [ PCsv01_svt ]: I see… [ PCsv02_svt ]: oh she’s back!

You stare at the log in dismay. Well, crap. “Bad things” can happen...? What kind of bad things? Is dating clients a thing or not? You have too many questions and not enough answers, and you don’t have time to investigate any of it. The boys are waiting for you downstairs.

[ PCsv01_bts ]: so… my clients just called a meeting with me. I can’t really talk right now. [ PCsv01_svt ]: a meeting? [ PCsv02_svt ]: that’s okay hon! we’ll still be here when u get back ^^ [ PCsv01_bts ]: this is all…fuck sorry, it’s a lot to deal with right now

You rake a hand through your hair, your body and mind are just completely spent from everything that’s happened recently.

[ PCsv01_svt ]: it’s alright, we’re not going anywhere [ PCsv03_twc ]: take your time to understand everything ♡ [ PCsv03_twc ]: it took me a while haha [ PCsv06_ast ]: we’ve got your back! 150% hehe >u< [ PCsv02_svt ]: yeah! don’t sweat it hon~ be kind to yourself, especially when you need to figure things out ^^

All of their assurance pouring in nearly brings a smile to your face. You don’t know most of these people, and you can’t be sure that they aren’t all just really smart bots or spies sent by your network, but… they do seem like a supportive bunch.

[ PCsv01_bts ]: thanks [ PCsv01_bts ]: but what exactly did micha mean by “bad things can happen”? [ PCsv01_bts ]: is dating even safe? [ PCsv03_mtx ]: oh haha… [ PCsv04_blp ]: safe? Oh honey... [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: lolol [ PCsv03_mtx ]: well I just meant that some PhysComs have been… taken advantage of [ PCsv03_mtx ]: so you can’t just jump into it ^^; [ PCsv01_svt ]: i wouldn’t call anything in this line of work “safe” per se [ PCsv01_svt ]: it’s hard to advise anything when we don’t know what your clients are really like [ PCsv01_svt ]: but if you do manage to enter a relationship it can either make or break your employment [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: hell yeahhhhh B)) [ PCsv01_svt ]: for some people it’s a last ditch effort, offering intimacy to idols who are touch starved to begin with… oftentimes breaking those boundaries will changes the client’s perspective, and soon they see you as essential, regardless of any minor misconducts [ PCsv01_svt ]: while for others, the attachment forms naturally and appears to be a genuine connection, such as with sascha and joshua [ PCsv01_svt ]: but of course there’s no way to tell for sure if the client’s feelings are genuine or if they have ulterior motives, so it’s definitely a risk [ PCsv01_svt ]: if things were to turn sour in the relationship, it could lead to termination or worse… you know, hell hath no fury like a lover scorned and all that [ PCsv01_svt ]: people can be duplicitous [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: durr durrr antione smart smart [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: i’m taking notes on ur lecture sir uwu [ PCsv01_svt ]: blake [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: ^-^? [ PCsv01_svt ]: shut the hell your mouth [ PCsv01_gt7 ]: >:D

You sigh. Reading all these names and trying to keep everyone’s identities straight is making your head spin in your already addled state.

[ PCsv01_bts ]: is there a way to change the contact names in this chat? [ PCsv01_svt ]: nope [ PCsv02_svt ]: sorry boo, it’s for protection ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You groan in frustration. Nothing is making sense, you’ve found no answers, and you still aren’t sure you can even trust this chat room. On a whim, you tap on Sascha’s username, and a contact page pulls up for her within the chat app. It doesn’t give any information besides her username and a blank profile photo, but there is a call button.

Shit, what do you have to lose? If this is real and not some elaborate hoax, then Sascha should pick up… right? You could grill her, ask her questions only she would know to prove it’s really her.

A sudden buzz from your ComGear nearly scares you shitless, and you check to see that it’s just a message from Namjoon.

Sweetheart? Could you come down to the kitchen?

You take a deep breath to steel your nerves. Fuck. You can’t put this meeting off any longer. You slip your ComGear into your belt and head downstairs towards what you’re sure will be your inevitable doom.

-------

On your way down the long staircase, you take deep cleansing breaths to combat the growing knot in your stomach. You’re hoping half-heartedly, albeit rather foolishly, that maybe the boys just need your help with something harmless, like making breakfast. They do love your omelettes.

You slow down as you approach the kitchen door, and you can hear many muffled voices arguing on the other side. It sounds like they’re trying to stay quiet, but failing. You stop to listen, your curiosity getting the better of you.

“Just because you got to-” “-not fair-” “I don’t like this-” “-so why should she be punished for-” “I swear it wasn’t-”

Punished? You don’t like the sound of that at all, not one bit. Just as panic starts to swarm your mind, Namjoon’s voice rises above the clamor. You lean against the door to hear his calm cadence, much more gentle than the previous raucous of the others.

"Look! Guys, I know it'll be hard. Okay? I know we've all grown very attached to her, but I think... I think this will be for the best. For all of us."

Fuck his calm cadence.

They must be talking about you, they have to be. You’re the only “her” in this house. You feel like you’re drowning in regret and fear, spiraling as your worries returning tenfold, despite your best effort to keep them at bay.

You’re going to walk through that door and they’re going to fire you, you can feel it. Namjoon’s going to look you in the eyes, and where such tenderness had been last night, now there will only be a steely gaze. It’s just business. You slump against the polished wood and bite back a dry sob, burying your face in your hands. You don’t think you can do this.

“God, you make it sound like she’s dying.” There’s Yoongi’s voice, lilted and matter of fact. “She’s not going anywhere.”

You lift your head. Not going anywhere? As in, not being fired?

Oh, bless Min Yoongi and his slutty sequin tops. But then… if you’re not going anywhere, ergo not getting fired, then what the hell are they talking about?

“Yeah, but what if this thing doesn’t work? What if she doesn’t... want this from us?” Jungkook’s timid question draws silence from the room.

“Then things will go back to normal, right? We just… forget it ever happened.” Jin. He sounds bitter and forlorn, not at all like his usual self.

“How can things be normal after what happened last night?” Hoseok sounds even worse than Jin, his voice choked with emotion. “I don’t think I can even have her as a PhysCom anymore! Something has to change.”

This declaration is met with another bout of overlapping arguments, only to be silenced once again by Namjoon.

“No, Hobi-hyung is right.” Namjoon says, his voice decisive and final. “This is a fork in the road for all of us. At the end of the week, we’ll take another vote. If things don’t improve with her, then… we’ll do what has to be done. There are always other PhysComs who can fill the position.”

What... the fuck…?

Ice crawls up your back, as if someone just dumped you into a freezing pool of water. Numbness seeps through your limbs, into your heart.

Are you really that replaceable in their eyes?

You’ve invested all your time into building bonds with these boys specifically so this wouldn’t happen. How can they be so heartless? It hurts. There’s a wrenching pain in your chest at hearing them talk about you so… so pragmatically.

It hurts because it’s exactly the way that you would handle the situation. With pragmatism.

But you know what? Fuck this. Fuck them. They took a fucking vote on the fate of your livelihood? You owe them nothing.

You’re overwhelmed, and angry, and confused, and you just can’t take it anymore. You want this guessing game to end. If they’re going to fire you, or punish you, or whatever, then you should just go in there and get it over with already. It has to hurt less than hearing them talk about you so callously.

You wait for a break in the conversation, and then ease open the kitchen door, stepping inside and doing your best to keep your expression neutral.

“Oh, there she is! Just the woman we wanted to see.” Namjoon looks up at you with a practiced smile, even though he’d just been rubbing his forehead the way he does when he’s stressed.

“Not for long,” Yoongi mutters, clutching his coffee mug a little too tightly as he takes a sip.

Your gaze flickers to him as quiet, seething anger settles in the pit of your stomach, a burning ache that doesn’t go away. He has the balls to joke about this, when your career is on the line? You’d have thought Mr. Underground Rapper would understand how hard you’ve fought to get here. Does he really feel nothing, sipping his coffee while you face the guillotine?

Namjoon shoots Yoongi a weary look, then comes over to greet you. “Good morning, sweetheart. How are you feeling? Better?” He cups your cheek, his eyes full of gentle concern.

You nearly flinch away from his touch. How dare he act so kind to you when they were just conspiring about whether you’ll keep your job?

You take a step back, out of range to be touched by any of them.

“What’s going on?” You ask them firmly, deciding not to hide your misgivings. Their eyes all seem to wander elsewhere in the room, Jungkook is staring at the counter in front of him like it’s suddenly become very interesting. Taehyung is looking up at the ceiling as if counting the tiles. Seokjin’s gaze is trained straight ahead into nothing, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. Cowards, all of them.

Namjoon takes the initiative and clears his throat. It’s hard to take him seriously when he’s wearing Ryan the Bear pajamas, but you give him your rapt attention. “So, we’ve been discussing things, and after what happened last night… well, it really cemented this for us. It made the decision that much easier.”

Did it? Did it really make it easier for them to fire you after seeing you break down and cry from using your safe word? You half debate throwing a punch at that handsome jaw of his. Might as well go out swinging.

He seems uncomfortable from the severity of your glare. Good, let him be uncomfortable. God knows you’ve put yourself in some uncomfortable positions for them.

“You’ve worked very hard for us since you were hired, and since today marks your official six month anniversary, we think it’s only fitting to end these six months on a good note.”

Oh, how poetic. Come on, just get on with it. Flowery words, especially insincere ones, won’t help you find another job. They won’t help keep you off the street while you struggle to make a living for yourself.

You stare up at him determinedly, your lips pursed as you steel yourself for the blow. You will not cry.

“We want to extend your time off.”

Wait, what?

“Starting tomorrow. It would have been your second day off for this month, but we’d like to extend that to a week off instead.”

They’re not firing you? They’re… rewarding you with vacation time? Doesn’t make sense. Your mind is reeling, trying to figure out the catch.

“You can wear whatever you want, do whatever you’d like.” Namjoon rubs the back of his neck, seemingly thrown off by your wide eyed lack of response. “You’re not obligated to have sex with us…”

Oh. There it is. A sex ban.

Sure, they’ll give you a nice little vacation, free of worries and obligations. What, so they can all play with Secondaries, like Jin did?

Fuck, that’s what this is about, isn’t it? Jin probably told them how good it felt to fuck another cunt and now this is their way of telling you that they want to ‘see other people’, isn’t it?

This is worse than firing you outright. They’re killing you slowly, stabbing you in the gut to watch you bleed out, like a wounded animal in the desert.

Your vision is red, rage stemming from fear and insecurity building up inside of you faster than you can comprehend.

“So you’re suspending me?” Your voice is surprisingly calm, even to your own ears.

“I… I guess you could put it like that.” Namjoon says hesitantly.

“We just want to give you a break, jagiya,” Taehyung interjects, and he does look genuinely torn up about the change. But feelings are of no use, not now that things have come to this. The only protection you have left is your own pragmatism to rival theirs.

You cross your arms in front of your chest, feeling much too exposed in your skimpy outfit. Damn Min Yoongi and his slutty sequin tops. You level your gaze at each of them in turn. “Don’t I get a say in this? I’m an independent contractor.”

Namjoon seems befuddled by your scorching glare, but he nods after a moment, seeming to come to his senses. He’s the one person here that’s best equipped to acquiesce to your sudden formalities. “Yes, of course. Uh… do you want to step into my office? We can work something out. Draw up a formal agreement, if you’d like.”

You see a flash in your mind of the last time you were in Namjoon’s office, not even a week ago, where you had him bent over his desk, cumming all over your fingers and dripping onto the ornate carpet.

You shake your head. They don’t want you to play with them for a week? Fine. You won’t give Namjoon the satisfaction of a home court advantage. “I’ll call my handler. We can discuss this in the lounge in an hour.” You don’t have a lawyer, but Yeji is the next best thing.

Namjoon seems a little surprised at your sudden switch to a cold and business-like demeanor, but he nods in agreement.

“Wonderful,” you look between the other boys, though most of them avoid your gaze. “I hope you all enjoy your breakfast.” You can’t resist hissing the words, and you hasten out of the room before your stone cold facade can crack.

You close the door behind you and lean heavily against it, trying to find your balance again after being thrown so off-kilter. What the fuck just happened?

“Well… that could have gone better.” You hear Yoongi sigh, and the others all break out into loud bickering again from behind the door. Honestly, they’re like children sometimes.

You scoff miserably at their immaturity and inability to see how seriously they just toyed with your life, and you wipe your eyes before the tears can fall, hurrying back to your room.

-------

That could’ve fucking gone better indeed.

You press your face into your hands, trying to stifle the fury and despair bubbling up inside your chest, threatening to suffocate you. Your hard work and years of dedication, all of your training, everything you’ve worked towards, becoming valuable and necessary so you’d never be cast away again, it’s all for nothing. You’ve still ended up in this position.

What the hell are you supposed to do now? Wait around for a week as they slowly lose interest in you? The very thought is agonizing. It tugs at all your buried fears and insecurities, watching them as they each slowly forget about you. Watching yourself become useless.

No. Stop it, you don’t have time to feel sorry for yourself when there’s work to be done. Time is ticking.

When you get overwhelmed in life, you’re supposed to ask for help. But you have very limited choices for who you can ask. You’re isolated and subjective in this case, so what you need right now are some outside opinions. Objective viewpoints and thoughts about the situation that aren’t stuck in the mire of emotional complications, and tainted by your own hellish visions of the worst possible outcome.

Yeji, your handler, would be your first person to consult. She’s probably the most professional woman you know, after yourself, and most importantly, she always has a plan for any situation. You pull out your ComGear and see that it’s still on Sachsa’s mysterious contact page. She could be a second opinion. That is, if it’s really Sachsa and not some network spy.

You shake away the thought. One thing at a time.

You send a brief message to Yeji, letting her know to come and see you as soon as possible.  You tack on that it’s kind of an emergency, and could she pick up some ice cream for you on the way, double fudge ripple.

She replies that she’ll be over in fifteen minutes, which gives you just enough time to change clothes and rehearse how to explain what happened.

You shed Min Yoongi's sequined strip of fabric without an ounce of remorse and stare at your closet in dismay. None of their outfits are comfortable, let alone respectable for a meeting. Frankly, your pajamas would offer more coverage.

You feel close to tears at the simple matter of choosing an outfit. This is ridiculous.

No. They may have control over what you do, but you can still rebel, at least in this small aspect of your life. You grab one of Jungkook's hoodies and a pair of leggings from Hobi, combining the outfits into what could be considered loungewear.

Once changed, you feel a bit more like yourself, and wait anxiously for your handler to arrive.

-------

Choi Yeji is an intimidating woman. She possesses the subtlety and sting of a viper, and isn’t afraid to say what she means. She’s never shown you any great lengths of emotion, even under stressful circumstances. So it doesn’t surprise you to see her calm and collected as she walks into your room.

“What happened?” She asks while you shut the door behind her, and she sets down the shopping bag of ice cream.

Her composure helps ease your frazzled brain, and you quickly explain the events of the past twenty four hours. Well, the events she needs to know, anyway. You were stressed at dinner, used your safeword, and now they seemingly think you’re broken and need to rest, but you suspect it’s an excuse for them to distance themselves from you.

“You think you’ve fallen out of their favor?” Yeji inquires, resting the tip of her spoon in her mouth. She claims desserts are her only vice, and had joined you in the ice cream, but still kept a professional distance and had eaten hers seated on your desk chair while you remained flopped on your bed. “Why? They’ve never sent in a single complaint about your service.”

You sigh in frustration. You know, or you at least suspect, that it has something to do with the… feelings that have come to your attention recently.

But the thought of sharing your romantic dalliances with Yeji is just plain awkward. Your relationship with her has always been business focused, monitoring your diet and exercise, your needs and leisure requests. You've never called her over to talk about your love life, or anything too personal for that matter. It’s not really in her job description.

She’s your handler, not your therapist.

But you know that you can't get around telling her the reason why things have been so tense in the house, it's inevitably going to come up. If she's representing you and backing you up during this meeting with Namjoon, it's in your best interest for her to know all the facts.

That still doesn't make it any easier to talk about. “I... think I might know why.” You admit, laying on your back, covering your face with your arm as you prepare to talk about your affairs.

Yeji levels you with a knowing look. “Did the chat room help you figure it out?”

You sit bolt upright. How the hell did she find out? 

Your brain struggles to provide an explanation in a vain attempt to cover your tracks, but Yeji eases you down from your silent panic with a wave of her hand.

“It’s alright,” she chuckles, a kind smile gracing her lips. “I was the only person alerted that you’d disconnected from the network and linked to a new one. I know all about the hidden network."

"You do?" You manage to utter, too astounded to say much else.

"Of course." Yeji inclines her head. "I used to work closely with Madame Guillaume, you know."

The tension dissipates from your body to make room for the curiosity that now overwhelms you. Guillaume? That was her last name? You only ever knew her as Madame.

Yeji seems amused at your dumbfounded expression. "Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me."

You don’t know what to say. Honestly at this point, so many shocking things have happened to you that a part of you isn’t even surprised anymore to hear that Yeji knows about the PhysCom dark web. Sure. Why not?

“So is it… real?” You ask, scooting closer towards the edge of the bed.

Yeji sets down her spoon along with the empty pint of ice cream. "Yes. It's most certainly real." She folds her hands in her lap, unaware of the chocolate that's gotten around her upper lip. "But that isn't to say it's not dangerous."

You can't help the snort of a laugh that comes out of you as she talks so seriously with chocolate on her face. She looks at you askance and you wordlessly hand a tissue to her, pointing at your own mouth. "You have something…"

She blinks rapidly. "Ah, apologies." She looks over to your vanity mirror and wipes off the smudges. There's a slight lilt to her voice when she speaks, a result of the fact that Yeji always uses English around you, despite Korean being her native tongue.

You’d mentioned once that it sometimes felt weird to see others’ lips move differently to what you were hearing them say, thanks to your auto-translation chip, and she’d apparently made a note of that. Yeji has used English with you ever since, despite your assurances. It amazes you that she always goes above and beyond to make sure you're comfortable, even when it comes to speaking

Your handler clears her throat to continue. "Anyway, as I was saying. The network does have security, but no measures are foolproof. Anything you send to them has a risk of being seen by other people."

You twist your lips to the side. “Like who?”

“Well, for one, their clients could easily catch a glimpse of the chat,” she notes. “Or the information could be leaked in a security breach. You know all the leading PhysCom networks have heard whispers about this dark web you’ve discovered, and many of them would be all too eager to dismantle it.”

You automatically shake your head. You don’t know why, but the idea of the people in that chat room getting discovered, or being punished for their little spark of camaraderie… it feels wrong. Totalitarian. “But they’re not harming anyone. It’s just a group chat.”

Yeji sighs. Her lips twitch as she considers her next words. “It may seem harmless, or indeed it may even be harmless,” she states calmly. “But the higher up that one is placed, the more scared one becomes of falling. People in the higher ranks of the industry may view the chat room as a threat. Like a… PhysCom mutiny.”

“What? But that’s ridiculous!” You huff out a laugh. “They can’t possibly think we could organize a union against them. We’re illegal workers. We have no rights in society, we can’t even physically see each other.”

Sure, the risk of rebellion would be understandable in companies that employ people in respectable positions. But sex workers? That’s like being worried that drug dealers will rebel against the crooked pharmacies that supply them.

PhysComs are nothing without networks to market them and provide for their basic needs. Your career is forever tied to your network, so each network only wants the best of the best. Your reputation reflects on them as a business. So, if you get fired by your clients… your network might let you go, too.

You sigh, trying to push away such troubling thoughts. “Besides, it’s not like the people in that chat room are the only people who can fill their positions.” Your face falls a little as you continue. “We’re replaceable.”

Yeji picks up on your change in tone. “You were telling me why you think things have changed?” She waits patiently for you to explain.

You hug your knees to your chest, your gaze falling to your comforter. “I think… some of my clients might have developed feelings for me.”

You wait in silence for a beat, not daring to look up.

“Is that all?” Yeji asks, as if you’d just informed her that the toilet paper had run out.

You scoff in bewilderment. “What do you mean ‘is that all’?” You demand, a little underwhelmed by her reaction. Does she just know everything?  “That’s a huge deal! Feelings are not a part of my job.”

Yeji tilts her head to the side, her eyes cast upward as though looking for the right words. “Perhaps. You might consider it an… occupational hazard,” she says with a kind look towards you. “You may not be selling your heart to those boys, but you are selling your body, which protects your heart fiercely. After enough time, letting them touch your body… it’s inevitable they might slip through and touch your heart.” She shrugs, taking a sip of the coffee to-go cup she always seems to have on hand.

You feel exasperated, like you’ve been building up all this hot air only to have it slowly leak out of your proverbial balloon. “You don’t have to get all… philosophical about it,” you grouse half-heartedly. Yeji merely chortles.

“The insecure always cast stones at those who speak the truth,” she hums into another sip of coffee, looking over the references she’d brought with her on her phone. “Now that I’m aware of this huge deal of yours, you may want to fill in any details you, ah… forgot to mention?” She gives you a look, and you groan inwardly.

But you comply, spilling all the information of your romantic dalliances since the moment Taehyung kissed you. Yeji doesn’t hold any judgement in her face, she merely nods, taking a few notes for herself, and asking an occasional clarifying question. You also feel compelled to add in what you overheard the boys talking about before you came into the kitchen.

“They said something about a vote… and that they would hold another one at the end of the week ‘if things don’t improve’ with me. Can you believe that?” You inhale, trying to quell the anger in you before it can bubble up again.

Yeji clicks her tongue, a cold clarity in her eyes as she adjusts her glasses. “So you believe Kim Namjoon is the instigator in all of this? He would try to dismiss you, even after you confided in him?”

“He’s their leader,” you say quietly, unable to conceal the hurt in your voice. “His loyalties are to them.”

Yeji doesn’t look at you with pity, but with sympathy. You’re grateful for the distinction. Pity makes you feel worthless, but sympathy makes you feel… heard. Understood. Not something you’re used to experiencing, but it’s still a nice feeling to have.

“Well,” Yeji checks her phone, standing up to leave. “It looks like we’re just about out of time. We’d best be getting downstairs.” 

You get up as well, tugging your clothes back into place. “So, you’ll help me change his mind?”

“I must remain impartial, in order to reach a satisfactory conclusion for both parties.” She gives you a look while organizing her papers and clipping them into her briefcase. “But I’ll do what I can to negotiate you out of this so-called vacation,” she says, her voice fueled with that same resolve that she’d shown you whenever she’d been fixated on getting you something that you requested.

“Yeji.” You hesitate, then walk over and take a hold of her arm. “Just please… don’t go easy on him.” You ask, giving her a meaningful look.

She pauses and looks at you for a moment, then finally lets out a sigh with a brief flutter of her eyes. Her job isn’t easy, but then again, neither is yours.

“Alright,” Her voice is reluctant, but resolute. She gives you a brief smile with a touch of fondness, and opens the door for you. “I’ll give him hell.”

-------

You wind and unwind the drawstring of your hoodie around your finger as Yeji organizes her paperwork. The tension in the air is palpable. Namjoon sits across from you both, now dressed for the day in business casual, a white t-shirt under a blazer and slacks. He must have an interview or a photoshoot today.

Your mind wanders briefly to what he usually does when he has a schedule, asks you for a quick blowjob before he leaves. You think of that warm smile he gives you after you swallow his cum, and the tenderness of his lips as he kisses your cheek before he heads out the door.

Lewd domesticity is how he phrased the kink during his interview.

“So, Mr. Kim Namjoon,” Yeji begins, snapping you out of your memories, her voice crisp in the otherwise silent room. She’s speaking in Korean again, to more clearly communicate with him. “You and my client are in a disagreement with regards to her services, is that correct?”

Namjoon frowns. “Not exactly. We just had a… simple misunderstanding this morning.”

Yeji gives him a thin smile. “Well, she called me here, which must mean that she feels the need for professional support concerning this issue,” she continues swiftly. “There are no laws governing Physical Companions, Mr. Kim, because they are not technically legal. A black market business. Therefore, I am the closest thing my client has to legal representation, and I wouldn’t call my lawyer about a ‘simple misunderstanding’, would you?”

Namjoon’s eyes flash with something almost like regret as he glances to you. His mouth opens and closes for a moment, then he briefly shakes his head, his gaze returning to Yeji. “No, I-I wouldn’t.”

“Right.” Yeji raps her collection of papers on the oak tabletop to align them, barely giving Namjoon a glance as she begins flicking through the stack. “Now, then. My client has told me that you wish to put her on suspension, is that correct?”

Namjoon winces. “I wouldn’t say that, uh, Ms. Choi,” he says, wringing his hands together. He looks nervous, his eyes flickering from you to Yeji, and back again. “Does our PhysCom need to be present for this meeting?” He asks her, flashing a smile that would be charming and amiable, if he didn’t look so tense.

Yeji meets his gaze unflinchingly. “Yes.”

“I… um, alright.” He purses his lips with a nod.

It’s weird. In all the time you’ve known him, Namjoon has always been unfazed and collected when it comes to business. You’ve never seen him look so flustered before. Since he’s putting you in this position, it’s satisfying, in a twisted sort of way, to see him uncomfortable.

He clears his throat. “In any case, myself and my members just wanted to give her a break. Simply extend her vacation time.”

Yeji looks to you, her expression almost bored. “Do you want a vacation?”

You shake your head. “No, I don’t.” You throw a glare at Namjoon before returning your gaze to the houseplant on your left, inspecting each leaf as you try to stay calm. You know if you look for too long at him, you’ll start getting worked up again. Your anger and resentment is still there, bubbling just below the surface. You hope he knows how much he hurt you.

Yeji turns back to him, inclining her head, her tone that of explaining something simple to someone who should know better. “It is against her will, so it’s considered a suspension, Mr. Kim.” She slips her glasses on, reading over the fine print on the paperwork. “My client is given two days off each month, is that correct?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Namjoon says. “One day off, every two weeks.”

Yeji raises an eyebrow. “Yet, you wish to suspend her for an entire week. That’s over three months worth of her regular vacation time. I must say, this appears to be much more than a simple extension, as you put it. I wonder why that would be?” She flips a page, skimming the words casually. “It says here that she’s received nothing but glowing reviews from all of you since she was hired six months ago.”

Namjoon shifts uncomfortably. You can tell that he’s trying to keep up his shields, but Yeji is a formidable foe with which to spar, able to find the smallest opening in an opponent’s armor and pierce through with the speed of a rapier.

“No particular reason.” Namjoon seems to settle on the answer after calculating his words.

“No reason?” Yeji’s eyes widen in mock surprise. “Mr. Kim,” She sets her papers on the table, looking at him expectantly. “I’m afraid I can’t allow this discussion to go any further unless you have a good reason for putting my client, your Primary PhysCom I might add, on suspension for an entire week.” She shakes her head with a mild shrug of indifference.

Namjoon tugs at the cuffs of his jacket. "Well, I think we can-"

Yeji interrupts him, her words slow and purposeful. “I think… it would reflect very poorly on you as a leader to make such drastic decisions,” Here, she gives a very brief smile that could be mistaken for politeness, if there was any warmth left in her eyes. “... for ‘no particular reason’. Don’t you agree, Mr. Kim?”

Damn. Hit him where it hurts, Yeji.

Namjoon’s mouth grows slack, his expression dumbfounded. You bite back a smile, eternally grateful for being assigned such a kickass handler. You make a note to request a bonus for her next paycheck.

But now Namjoon’s face has grown dark. His fingers are tented together, and he seems lost in a silent debate within his own mind. “I didn’t want to do this…” he mutters so quietly, you almost can’t make out the words.

He inhales sharply and sits up a little straighter, his composure regained. “Ms. Choi,” he begins. “I must admit, we do have some concerns about her performance.”

Your heart drops like a stone.

“Oh?” Yeji doesn’t look up at him, but starts scribbling on one of her papers. “What might those be?”

“We believe that she’s overworked, since, as you pointed out, she is our only Primary,” he explains in almost a monotone. “Her behavior has been emotional and unpredictable lately.”

At this, your gaze snaps to him, shocked. Why the fuck would he say that?

He looks down to the floor, as though ashamed, as he continues. “She’s kissed two of our members since yesterday, which is not on her list of services. She broke down crying last night during dinner. When we went to use another PhysCom, she had a meltdown. Started screaming at us.”

Your body feels numb and on fire all at once.

"We're concerned about her professionalism."

That motherfucker.

You leap to your feet, your body moving before you can think. Yeji pulls you back from physically assaulting him, but you strain against her grip like a wild animal. “You bastard!” You spit out the insult, hair falling in your face and venom in your voice, still huffing out ragged breaths as Yeji patiently calms you back into your seat.

Your hands clench so hard you dig marks into your palms. You’re shaking with unbridled rage at his betrayal. You didn't think it was possible to be so angry. Of all people, Namjoon knows exactly how dedicated you are to your work, even when you’re exhausted, how closely you stick to your professional boundaries, even when it hurts, how tirelessly you work to please all seven of them, even if it means being used over and over again without a moment to breathe. You’ve always given everything to your job.

Now he wants to turn around and say that you’ve been fucking slacking?

“You see what I mean,” Namjoon states calmly, though there’s something wavering in his eyes that doesn’t quite match the rest of his confident demeanor. He tries to meet your gaze, tries to get you to look at him, but you refuse, twisting your head away from him before you get yourself charged with murder on top of everything else.

Maybe it would be best for you to get fired. You’d rather live on the streets than be treated like this. Tears prick at your eyes but you blink them away. You refuse to cry in front of him. You won’t give him any more ammunition to use against you.

Yeji looks between you and Namjoon, her lips forming a thin line. “Kim Namjoon,” she addresses him, her voice cold. “Do you wish for my client to remain in this house?”

Namjoon seems surprised at the question, his eyebrows lifting. “Yes, of course.”

“Then, I think a recess is in order.” She stands up and brushes off some invisible lint from her skirt.

You stand up to join her, but she holds out a hand. “No. You two need to talk this out,” she says to you, then looks to Namjoon, staring him down. “I suggest you remember why we’re here, Mr. Kim.” After a moment of silence, she walks to the door. “I’ll be back in ten.”

With that, Yeji exits, and the two of you are left alone.

You cross your arms protectively around yourself, adamantly refusing to look at him. The silence stretches between you.

“Sweetheart-” he starts, but you interrupt him.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” you seethe. Proprieties be damned, you’ve had enough. “Don’t ‘sweetheart’ me, you fucking asshole. I have given everything for you and your members, okay? Don’t you fucking dare sit there and tell lies about me, to my face!” You shout, trying to keep your voice from shaking. You know if you keep talking your rage will melt into tears, and you cannot afford to cry in front of him. You simply won’t allow it.

“I know, I know,” Namjoon’s assurance overlaps the end of your sentence. He sighs. Waits a beat.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah! You’d better be.” You still don’t meet his eyes, the betrayal and confusion is just too much. On top of all that, you’ve never lashed out in anger at any of them like this. You still don’t regret shouting at him, but your heart is threatening to beat out of your chest in fear of repercussions. Did you make the situation worse? Is that even possible at this point?

“Look.” His voice is tentative, a little afraid. “I really am sorry, I didn’t mean any of that.”

“Then why the fuck did you say it?” You counter sharply.

“Because!” Now it’s his turn to shout, though he seems to regain himself much more quickly than you. “Because... I don’t know if that woman can be trusted,” he reiterates quietly, as if afraid she might hear him through the door.

Wait, what?

“Yeji?” You squint in utter disbelief. “Of course she can be trusted, what the fuck are you-”

“Not with this.” He sighs again, rakes a hand through his hair. “Listen, you have to trust me.”

You bark a laugh. “Trust you?”

He shakes his head, stopping your objections before you can list them. “This is serious. This is… bigger than either of us.”

His voice is the only thing that gives you pause. Just for a moment. He sounds… desperate. Scared.

You slowly look over to him, and his expression confirms your suspicions. Namjoon is fearful about something, his eyes wide with worry, his hair mussed from being tugged between his fingers. He looks completely different from before, and it has you reluctantly curious.

“What do you mean?” You let him keep talking, though you’re still taking his words with a grain of salt.

“I was… working on something. A better arrangement,” He begins, his eyes reaching out to you, then darting nervously around the room, as if he’s letting you in on his greatest secrets. “But I stumbled onto something bigger. I just… I need you to take some time off for right now, and I need you to trust me that it’s for the best.”

You level your gaze at him, silently weighing your options. He’s being awfully vague.

“What does my time off have to do with anything?” You ask, your suspicion coloring your tone.

“It’s necessary to test my theory properly. If I’m right, then...” He trails off, and you garner that his success would bring about something monumental.

You stare at him. You want to take his words as truth, but he completely undermined you in front of your handler. You can’t let him off the hook so easily. “How can I believe anything you say anymore? You just blew any trust I had in you.”

“I know,” he says, hanging his head. He chews on his lip, then takes a deep breath. “That’s why I’m willing to offer some… collateral.”

He reaches into his pocket and withdraws something small and shiny. “This.” He holds out the object to you, dangling from a short metal chain. “It’s the key to my studio.” His gaze bores into yours as you tentatively reach forward to take it. “The only key,” he adds gravely.

You examine the silver peace offering, and your eyes widen at the implications of such a gesture. His whole life is in that studio. All of his art, his collections, not to mention his computer. His music. His career.

It’s all sitting in the palm of your hand.

He reaches across the table and closes your hand around the key. “You can keep it until I’ve earned your trust again. Okay?” He gives you a brief, dimpled smile, as if to assure you, though sadness and worry still swim behind his eyes.

“Now, sweetheart. Please. I beg of you.” He takes your hand in both of his own, his worried eyes imploring you to trust him. “Please, will you take this vacation?”