#ANYWAYS SOOO coming back for pride month!!! maybe. who knows

[mcdbutgay]

i just remembered this blog existed… after like 3 months… haiii :3

[norrussell]

Hello darling I have Lando x fem!reader’s request✨🥹

Sooo I HAVE THIS “You must need to be fast on track, but you can’t get me so fast” ON MY MIND

So the reader and Lando are pretty close and very touchy, she works for McLaren, maybe as a lawyer idk; so they spent some time together, especially in UK, but she always goes to Monaco. ANYWAY during a party (maybe after one of his podium) he gets very close to her, always a hand on her back, and at some he trying to express his feelings for her, idk he would do something very clingy soo she stopped him and said *that*.

So that night they come back together to his hotel room, kissing each other, but they finished cuddling. Because he wants to do the things seriously.

I'M BAAAACK!!! Don't know for how long tho, I had this sitting in my drafts for two weeks and felt like editing while Lando's stream played in the background. I thought I'd get so much more writing done once the winter break begins, but it looks like apparently I'm on a break too cause no matter how much I want to get things done, my brain is just like nope keep watching that show until the guilt of all the requests eats you away. So, my apologies to this anon for waiting for months and all the others that have sent requests, I'm not ignoring you, I'm just going through some difficult time currently, but hopefully it will get better soon. Not really satisfied with this, if I'm being honest, but really liked the idea which required a lot of research and banging my head against the wall to make it all work and fit, and really wanted to get it done. So I hope you enjoy! :) ♥

Trackside Temptations | Lando Norris⁴

The atmosphere in Silverstone was electric during the peak of racing season, filled with the aroma of success and bubbly champagne. Lando Norris, rising star in the world of Formula One, had just secured a spot on the podium, his heartbeat echoing in sync with the joyful cheers of the crowd, and was eager to join his team at the luxurious after party to celebrate their victory.

Navigating through the throngs of people, Lando couldn't ignore the rush of excitement mingled with a hint of anxiety. Though he prided himself on his unwavering confidence and determination behind the wheel, there was one individual in the room who could effortlessly rattle him – y/n, a sharp-witted lawyer whose support had been vital to Lando's success in his career.

As Lando made his way over to you, he couldn't help but feel the butterflies in his stomach begin to flutter. He had always admired you from afar, but tonight, he was determined to make a move.

You were dressed in a stunning red dress, your hair cascading in loose waves around your shoulders. You looked up as he approached, and he couldn't help but feel a jolt of electricity shoot through his body at the sight of your eyes.

"Congratulations, Lando!" you said, opening your arms for a hug. "You were incredible out there today."

Lando felt his heart skip a beat as he pulled you into a tight embrace, inhaling the intoxicating scent of your perfume and feeling the softness of your body pressed against his.

"Thanks, y/n," he said. "I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you for always being there for me." he pulled back, his hands lingering on your arms.

"Of course, Lando. It's been an honor to support you through this journey." your voice was warm and sincere, and your smile reached your eyes, making them crinkle at the corners.

"Come on, let's join the others," Lando said, gesturing towards the rest of your team who were celebrating nearby.

You smiled and took Lando's hand, feeling a thrill run through your body at the touch of his skin against yours. As you made your way over to the group, Lando kept his hand firmly in yours, his fingers intertwining with yours in a silent show of possession.

The British Grand Prix after party was in full swing, and amidst the cacophony of laughter and clinking glasses, Lando and you found yourselves standing by a makeshift stage, watching your colleagues perform an impromptu karaoke session. The sight of your usually serious team members belting out pop classics with reckless abandon brought a smile to both your faces.

"Never thought I'd see the day when our chief engineer would sing Spice Girls," you remarked, your eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Neither did I," Lando replied, chuckling. "I bet they'll never live this down."

As you shared a laugh, Lando felt grateful for the easy camaraderie he had with you. You could always find something to laugh about, even in the most stressful situations. It was a testament to the trust you had built over the years, and it only seemed to grow stronger with each passing day.

"Seriously though, y/n," Lando said, his tone shifting to one of sincerity. "I just wanted to extend my gratitude again for everything you've done for me. You've been a true ally, both on and off the track."

Your cheeks flushed slightly at the heartfelt praise, but you brushed it off with a playful grin. "Well, someone has to keep you in line, Lando. You're lucky I'm so good at it."

"Indeed, I am," Lando agreed, smiling warmly. "But truly, your guidance and support have made all the difference in my career. I can't imagine where I'd be without you."

"Probably still driving go-karts," you teased, eliciting another laugh from Lando. Despite your jest, you appreciated the sentiment behind his words. Your bond was special, and it wasn't something either of you took for granted.

"Hey, don't knock go-karts," Lando retorted, feigning offense. "They're where it all began, after all."

"True," you conceded, your smile softening. "But we both know you were destined for much greater things, Lando. And I'm proud to have been a part of your journey."

"Thank you, y/n," Lando said, his voice warm and sincere. "Here's to many more victories together."

"Cheers to that," you replied, clinking your glass against his.

As the night progressed and the party continued, Lando found himself drawn to you like a moth to a flame. Every time you laughed, his heart skipped a beat. Every time you touched him, he felt a jolt of electricity course through his veins.

The music pulsed through the air, a rhythmic heartbeat that fueled the euphoria rippling through the crowd. McLaren team members and fellow racers moved with infectious energy, their laughter and conversation melding into an intoxicating symphony. Amidst it all, Lando and you swayed in unison to the beat, your eyes locked and smiles mirroring each other's elation.

"Hey, champ," called out a familiar voice, momentarily tearing Lando's gaze away from you. It was Carlos Sainz, a fellow racer and close friend, passing by with a wide grin. "Fantastic race today! You really showed them who's boss."

"Thanks, Carlos," Lando replied, his chest swelling with pride. "Couldn't have done it without everyone's support."

"Especially mine, right?" you chimed in playfully, a mischievous glint in your eyes.

"Of course!" Carlos exclaimed, laughing. "You're the true mastermind behind this achievement!"

As Carlos continued on, Lando gave you a knowing look, warmth radiating between you. You both knew the truth in the jest – that you had been instrumental in bringing him to this point.

"Shall we dance?" Lando asked, extending his hand with a cheeky grin. You nodded, accepting the invitation as you danced like no one was watching. The room around you seemed to blur, leaving just the two of you amidst the swirl of colors and sounds.

You found yourselves gravitating towards each other, your bodies moving in perfect sync as you danced to the pulsing beat of the music. Lando couldn't help but feel a sense of awe as he watched you move. There was something about the way you moved – confident and sensual, yet somehow innocent at the same time – that made his heart race.

"I can't believe I'm dancing with you," he said, his voice low and intimate.

"Why not?" you replied, your smile teasing. "I'm just a lawyer, remember?"

He shook his head, his eyes darkening. "You're so much more than that, y/n. You're the reason I'm here, the reason I'm successful. You're the one who's always had my back, even when things were tough."

"And you're the reason I have a job," you teased, but there was a flicker of something more serious in your eyes. "You've made my work here worthwhile, Lando. You've given me purpose."

Lando's eyes searched yours, and he saw the truth in them. You weren't just colleagues or friends – there was something deeper between you both, something that had been simmering beneath the surface for years.

"Congratulations again, Lando," murmured a team member as he passed, patting him on the back and interrupting the moment between you. "You've made us all proud."

"Seriously, man, you were on fire today!" another added, clapping Lando's shoulder enthusiastically.

"Thank you, guys," Lando responded, his voice filled with gratitude. As he looked at you, he couldn't help but feel that part of it belonged to you as well.

"Can I just say," you began, your voice barely audible over the thumping music, leaning in and resting your arms on his shoulders "how incredibly proud I am of you?"

Lando's eyes flickered with a hint of surprise and pleasure, his heart racing as he gazed into your eyes. The dim lighting of the party accentuated the curve of your lips and the sparkle in your eyes, making him feel like he was gazing upon a work of art.

"Thank you, y/n," he said, his voice hoarse.

Your eyes met his, and in that moment, Lando knew that he had to have you. He didn't care about the risks or the consequences – he needed you more than anything.

The attraction between the two of you had always been undeniable, but up until now, Lando had resisted the urge to act on it. He had been so focused on his career and his goals that he had never allowed himself to explore the possibility of something more with you.

But as the night wore on and the champagne flowed freely, Lando found his resolve slipping. When he saw you dancing with one of the other drivers, a pang of jealousy burned in his chest. He wanted to be the one holding you close, he wanted to be the one making you laugh, he wanted to be the one kissing you senseless.

Without thinking, he made his way towards you, his heart racing with anticipation. As soon as he was close enough, he slid his arm around your waist and pulled you near, swaying in time with the music.

"Come with me," he whispered, his voice low and seductive.

Your eyes widened, but you didn't protest. You simply followed him as he led you away from the crowded dance floor and onto the terrace.

Once outside, Lando pulled you closer to him, letting his fingers caress your cheek as he looked into your eyes. His expression was a mixture of emotion - desire, longing and something more that neither of you could put into words.

"Remember when we first met?" Lando asked, his gaze fixed on you. "I was just some rookie driver signing a contract, and you were this intimidating lawyer."

You chuckled, recalling the memory fondly. "You've come a long way since then."

"And so have you," Lando replied, glancing over at you. "Your legal support has been invaluable, you know," Lando continued, his voice filled with gratitude. "All those contracts and negotiations... I couldn't do it without you."

"Hey, that's what I'm here for," you responded, a hint of pride in your tone. As a top-notch lawyer, you had played a significant role in helping Lando navigate the world of Formula One. From ironing out sponsorship deals to ensuring his rights were protected, you had been a force to be reckoned with.

"Sometimes I think about how different things would be if we hadn't crossed paths," Lando mused, his thoughts drifting. "I'm grateful every day that I have you by my side, both professionally and personally."

"Me too," you agreed, your gaze softening. You reached out, gently squeezing his hand in a show of solidarity. "We make a great team, Lando. But you didn't bring me out here to talk about contracts and negotiations," you said, your voice low and sultry as you leaned in closer to him. "What did you bring me out here for, Lando?"

Lando's breath hitched as he felt your hot breath against his neck. "No," he admitted. "I was... I just... I saw you dancing with George and I just couldn't stand there and watch any longer."

You grinned, feeling a sense of satisfaction wash over you. You had known for a long time that Lando had harbored feelings for you, but you had never expected him to act on them so boldly. "Is that so?"

Lando nodded, his eyes darkening with desire as he reached up to brush a stray strand of hair out of your face. "I want you, y/n," he said, his voice low and intimate. "I've wanted you for a long time, but I've been too scared to say anything. But tonight... I just can't resist anymore."

Your heart was pounding so hard you could feel it in your chest. You had never seen Lando like this before. The way his eyes bore into yours, the way his breath mingled with yours, it was all so intense. And you wanted him too, more than anything.

Without another word, Lando cupped your face with his hands and lowered his lips to yours. The kiss was soft and gentle at first, but it quickly escalated. His tongue swept into your mouth, exploring every inch, and you moaned into the kiss.

The terrace was dimly lit, but it felt like you were the only two people in the world. Lando's hands roamed over your body, pulling you close as he deepened the kiss. You could feel him pressing against you, and you couldn't help but grind against him.

"Lando," you gasped when the kiss finally broke, your lips swollen from the heat of it.

"Come back to my room with me," he murmured against your lips as he nipped at them. "I want to show you how much I appreciate everything you've done for me."

"Woah there, champ," you said, pulling back slightly. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's take this slow."

"How slow?" Lando asked, his voice a bit impatient.

"I know you're used to fast things," you said, a coy smile playing on your lips, "and you must need to be fast on track, but you can't get me so fast."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." Lando began, your words slapping him back to reality.

"I'm just teasing," you said, placing a finger on his lips to silence him. "I know you didn't. And I'm not ready for that either, yet. But I want you to know I feel the same way about us." you whispered, tiptoeing to plant a soft kiss on his lips. "I just want to take this slow."

"I know, y/n," Lando replied, his voice deep and rumbly. "I want to take it slow too."

"Alright," you said  finally. "Let's go back inside. We can head back to your room after everyone goes home..."

Lando's grin widened. "Are you sure you don't want to go now? It's pretty late."

"I'd love to," you said, titling your head and looking up at him through your eyelashes. "But I want to give everyone a chance to congratulate you first." You giggled, looping your arm around his. "Then we can go back to your place and... celebrate."

"I like the sound of that," Lando said, pulling you in close and placing a lingering kiss against your lips. "Come on," Lando said, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the heart of the festivities.

You allowed yourself to be swept up in the excitement, unable to suppress the grin spreading across your face. As you weaved through the jubilant crowd, the warmth of Lando's hand in yours was like an anchor, keeping you grounded amidst the whirlwind of sensations.

"Oi! Norris!" a voice called out, cutting through the noise. "That was some race you had today! You've got to teach me your tricks!"

"Maybe next time, mate," Lando laughed, giving the fellow racer a friendly pat on the back before continuing on.

"Hey, y/n," another voice chimed in, one of your colleagues from the McLaren team. "You're doing a fantastic job with all the legal stuff. Keep it up!"

"Thanks," you replied, a blush creeping up her neck. "I'm just doing my part for the team."

As you reached the center of the celebration, Lando pulled you into a spontaneous twirl, eliciting a delighted giggle from you.

"Are you having fun?" he asked, a playful glint in his eyes.

"Definitely!" you felt a warmth spreading through your chest. That moment, the joy of victory and the intoxicating atmosphere, was something you knew you'd cherish forever.

"Good," Lando said softly, his gaze never leaving her eyes. "You deserve it, y/n."

Finally, everyone said their goodbyes and the two of you were left alone in the open air. The night sky was alight with stars, and the city below twinkled in the distance. Without a word, the two of you made your way to Lando's hotel room. He opened the door and stepped inside, pulling you with him. As soon as he closed the door, his hands were around your waist and he pulled you into a tight embrace.

You both sank down onto his bed without breaking contact. Lando enveloped you in his arms as he kissed your neck and shoulders hungrily. You felt so safe in his embrace, as if nothing else mattered in that moment but him holding you close. The intensity of it all was overwhelming, but comforting at the same time.

"Can you believe it?" Lando asked, his breath hot on your skin. "All those years, all that work, and here we are."

You looked up at him, a soft smile playing on your lips. "It's been quite a journey, hasn't it?"

"Definitely," Lando agreed, his eyes reflecting the pride he felt.

The two of you entwined in each other's arms until the early morning hours, savoring every moment together. His kisses sent shivers down your spine and his hands explored every inch of your body hungrily. Every touch was tender but passionate, as if he wanted to show you how much he cared for you. He cuddled up against you, whispering sweet words of affection into your ear.

It was clear that Lando wanted more than just physical pleasure from this encounter, and you felt the same way about him. You both wanted something real and lasting--something that went beyond the heat of the moment.

[nunalastor]

An idea for a Hazbin Hotel Reaction fic-

What if the crew get grabbed for it a few months before the events of the Pilot?

Imagine, the story starts off relatively normal, and our starting cast consisting of Lucifer, Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Husk, and Niffty. [I’m including the last two for Reaction potential with someone coming up later in this idea] They would be first watching the Pilot Thankfully for Angel Dust he wasn’t whisked away while he was having a shoot, but is at least mildly buzzed. Not not everyone’s so “lucky”, with Lucifer barely dressed up and in full depressed-dad mode, Husk still losing the whole pot (he doesn’t know it but he would’ve lost at that table anyways), and Vaggie while doing some sort of bandage-work almost revealing that she’s an angel, it sets up the thread of reactors possibly being taken during tense situations.

They get the usual message, that they’re stuck in a room together (and attached rooms with at least a kitchen space probably), until they all finish watching the series together, but they can take as much time as they want. Time has stopped for the world they come from, once they return it’ll be back to normal and all that jazz. They are also told that some additional people would be joining them/getting pulled in as they become more relevant in the story, but not always when they make their first appearance on screen.

Lucifer probably has a heart to heart with Charlie—if he isn’t too prideful at that moment—an Charlie hasn’t properly fixed up the hotel yet, but has been in the process of drafting up plans and a little through the intro she would invite Angel Dust to it. Lots of introductions made, and then they actually start watching the show.

The crew hears the thrum of a portal opening up, and Sir Pentious falls in. He’s holding the steering wheel of his airship—sooo that’s gonna be a fun problem to deal with when he gets back.

A portal opens for Razzle and Dazzle as the news segment pulls up, who were mauling some sinner that was about to mess with the hotel.

When the radio demon invites himself into becoming a sponsor for the hotel, the crew had almost expected him to come falling through as well, but hey since he didn’t, maybe they won’t have to worry about it? The guy seems pretty evil anyways, and the message given to them at the start implied that any new viewers probably wouldn’t try to kill anyone else there. Both Husk and Vaggie help build up this impression.

It is as the Pilot comes to a close that a red man crashes through and floods the room with the noise of static. A limp figure is covered in blood, barely breathing, limbs with snapped shackles on them. Clothed in what few damp rags would cover up the numerous wounds and scars on his skin. Gaze is hazy, but his eyes are wide and wide, confused and furious, and terrified. The big close-lipped smile is trembling with blood dripping from its stitches.

The seven years he would’ve been gone for were wouldn’t have been very kind to him.

It takes the crew a long while before they start watching the next episode.

(Alastor, wrapped in blankets and bandages and picking at the scabs forming around his mouth, has his arms around Niffty on the sofa. She too is wrapped in a blanket as an extra layer to help with touch-aversion.)

What comes next? What other discoveries will the Staff have later and how will that influence what they do when they get out? Will some of them want to get out? (Al will be fine though- they’ve probably set up a rescue or housing plan by that point, if at least because the Morningstars are as industrious as they are stubborn) Who knows, you decide on how you’d want to deal with such a total derailment of the plot! I just wanted an excuse for more Alastor whump-

(a sudden reunion with Vox and this Alastor would be fun)

👀

[airborneice]

hey look it’s my blorbos

YAY the first time I’ve completed art in time for pride month!! here’s some of the chars from the sketchbook kid AU celebrating with the most boring backgrounds ever 🌈 I’m gonna ramble under the cut, you know the drill

sooo I think I’ve already mentioned that Mattie is trans, but fyi Kaisa is in this universe as well!!

tbh I actually didn’t have this idea for them both to start with, it just kinda happened that way and ngl I just…I love the idea of Mattie having someone close to her right from the start who just gets it, and that Kaisa gets to have that shared experience with her. I think before Mattie was born Kaisa would have initially had some worries deep down about if the kid took after her too much (in terms of her not great experiences with magic and self-doubt, being a bit of an awkward mess (affectionate) ) but instead she gets to see Mattie taking after her in a whole bunch of ways and just thriving 🥺 and she gets to be a source of support and understanding that maybe she didn’t have herself when she was younger. anyway these witches are trans and I care them so much you guys 🥺

aaaand hey look I drew Harvey’s parents for once! btw in my headcanons for this AU Harvey’s parent on the left of him is non-binary and goes with any pronouns but mainly they/them! Harvey calls them Ren (short for parent). also I have names for these two now!! I’ve been calling Harvey’s parent Lin (left) (partly bc it means ‘forest’... like have you SEEN this couple’s living room wall, they are plant obsessed and I’m keeping it) and his mom is Nia (right). congrats on breaking the hilda curse of adults not having names guys 😌

and, ok, realistically I don’t think Arwen has fully come out or anything at the time of my comics but I wanted to include her anyway - and before anyone comes at me about how kids can’t be gay or whatever I’ll remind you that no one seems to have this problem with kids in other cartoons getting obligatory het crushes all the time, and in my own experience some people just figure themselves out a lot sooner than others (personally I didn’t find the right label til I was 20 but looking back the signs were there since I was 11 lol). anyway Arwen is quite introspective and searching as a person, so I think she’s got this a little bit figured out by now, even if she’ll probably be keeping it to herself for a while. there’s no way she’s talking about her thoughts on romance if Mattie’s in the vicinity

[miyagihawk]

why’d you only call me when you’re high? pt. 2 | eli “hawk” moskowitz x reader

part one

here’s part 2 by popular demand! based off the arctic monkeys song and amazing request by @deadbeatharlz <3 thank you guys for the support on part 1 im so happy you liked it :)

warnings: self harming behavior, LOTS of swearing, alcohol and drug abuse, sooo so angstyyyy buckle up

summary: it’s been 3 months since your last night with hawk, and you haven’t been yourself.

word count: 3,062



The past 3 months have been rough. Maybe the worst you’ve ever been. You fell into the deep hole that you dug yourself. The hole of loving Hawk Moskowitz.

You never thought you’d be one of those people who let unrequited love devastate their whole being. In fact you always thought the whole heartbreak thing was pathetic and melodramatic. Until it happened to you.

You hate yourself for letting him have this effect on you. But there’s a pestering voice in the back of your mind that reminds you: it’s all your fault. He didn’t ask you to love him. It’s just easier to blame him for your downfall.

Parties, drugs, alcohol. Sex with people you don’t even know. High on the same drug that compelled him to call you in the night.

You’ve become so desperate to forget him that you ruined yourself. It hurts your pride to be the whiny heartbroken girl who let a stupid boy’s rejection shatter her self worth. But the hole is too deep and there’s no hope trying to grasp onto the dirt walls to get out.

The worst part of it is that he sees it all. At school, (if you even go) he looks at you like the scum of the earth as he passes by with his little karate gang. When you end up at the same party, he’ll have a disgusted expression on his face and leave as if he can’t bare to look at you. 

Tonight is one of those nights, and you watch him from across the backyard as he goofs around with his friends. He hasn’t noticed you yet, hence why he’s even still here and not on his way out the door to get away from you.

“If you stare at him any longer, I think he’ll shoot up into flames,” your best friend Robby hands you a cup, and you don’t hesitate before downing its unknown contents. The burn in your throat makes you hum with content.

“That’s the plan,” you take your eyes of off Hawk to look at Robby. You gesture to his own cup in his hand, “Are you gonna drink that?”

“Easy there, Y/N. We got here 5 minutes ago,” he warns, but holds out the drink towards you anyway. Robby’s always been worried about you and your habits, but he knows how you can be when you’re told no.

You swallow down the drink in a few seconds, ignoring his remark. “5 minutes? I can beat my record!” you cheer sarcastically, and start walking to the kitchen in search of a keg. Robby follows closely behind you, a wary look on his face.

The fuzzy feeling starts to take over your body as you throw back drink after drink. It’s the buzz you crave every second of every day because it just makes you feel so good. Everything is happier and your cares feel so far away. Hawk feels so far away.

You sit on the couch next to Robby in your dazed trance, drunkenly rambling to him about random things. He glares at anyone who comes near you and looks like they would take advantage of you in your state.

Robby really hates you like this, but he can’t help but feel protective over you. He’s not even a fan of parties; he really only goes to keep an eye on you. You’re grateful even though you act like you hate it when he babysits you.

“Heyyy pretty Y/N! Want some?” Yasmine approaches where you sit, a joint held between her fingers. Her eyes are drooped and she sways as she stands.

You reach out to take the blunt, but you feel Robby push your arm down. “You’re already drunk. That’s enough,” he says sternly, making you roll your eyes.

“I can do what I want, Dad,” you taunt, and take the joint from Yasmine. Smoke fills up your lungs, immediately giving you pleasure. Robby just shakes his head in disapproval as the air around him becomes hazy.

“I’m going to the bathroom. Stay here,” he orders, getting up from the couch.

You nod, but of course, you don’t listen. The sound of splashing from outside sets off a lightbulb above your head and you feel like you’re floating while you walk to the backyard.

Right as you step out of the house, you make eye contact with none other than Hawk. He gives you a distasteful look like always, before turning back to his group. Asshole.

You just scoff and stumble towards the pool, where a couple is making out and a few people are drunkenly playing with the water like little kids.

Reaching the edge of the pool’s rim, you let yourself fall in with a splash. You feel the pressure in your ears start to build as you sink to the bottom. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re cross faded, but being underwater feels like a world of bliss.

The loud music of the party is muted, creating a sense of serenity. The legs of the other people in the pool make you laugh to yourself, sending bubbles from your mouth to the surface. It’s glittery and pretty and you want to stay forever.

You don’t know how long you’re under there for, but you don’t notice your lungs running out of air. It just feels good to be alone for a second. Next thing you know, you feel your eyes start to droop closed; a strange peace overcoming your body.

A loud thrashing noise in the water makes you wake up with a gasp. You swallow too much water as you feel someone grab hold of your arm. It’s all a blur and you’re being pulled up to the surface, taking you away from the tranquil world you were just in.

The music is pounds against your ears again and the air is cold on your skin. You feel your body being laid down on the concrete of the poolside, but everything feels numb. You just feel sleepy and you want to close your eyes again.

“Y/N, hey, wake up. Wake up,” a voice makes your eyes shoot back open. Someone is looking down at you, with a hand shaking your shoulder. Your vision is somewhat blurry, but the mohawk gives it away. It’s him.

You suddenly become aware of the large amount of water in your lungs and you turn over to your side to cough it up. After you get it all out, you notice the people at the party looking at you with eyes of pity mixed with judgement.

“What the fuck were you doing? You could’ve died, are you fucking stupid?” Hawk curses, but even in your inebriated state you can hear a hint of worry in his voice.

You sit up to face him. He looks angry; his clothes and hair are as wet as yours.

Maybe it’s the lack of oxygen in your brain, or maybe it’s the marijuana and alcohol, but you just feel the urge to laugh. So you do. Like a complete maniac. The way he probably just saved your life like he cares is sickly comedic to you.

His face twists in confusion as you break out into a fit of giggles. “Are you serious? You’re fucking insane, Y/N,” he gets up, shaking his head at you. He gives a glare to the people staring, and they look away in fear.

You think he’s going to leave like usual, but he surprises you by grabbing your arm to pull you up. People whisper amongst themselves as he drags you through the backyard, going through a gate that leads to front of the house. You trip over your own feet, still feeling dizzy from almost drowning, but he just pulls you along.

“What are you doing?” you ask, tugging on your arm to try and release it from the tight grip he has on you. You’re both dripping chlorinated water, leaving a track of drops on the concrete below.

“You’re going home Y/N,” he says sternly. You two arrive at his car and he opens the passenger door. “Get in.”

“Hey!” a voice yells from the house and you both turn to see Robby rushing towards the car. He looks pissed, and now you remember him telling you to stay put. Shit.

“Robby I-”

“Don’t get in there with him Y/N,” he says, sending a death stare to the boy next to you.

“I’m taking her home, Keene, so back the fuck off. Get in Y/N,” Hawk snaps, clenching his fists.

You keep quiet, not wanting to add to the fire already starting. They loathe each other; if not because of the karate rivalry, then because of you. To Robby, Hawk broke your heart and made you spiral. To Hawk, Robby is the piece of shit who he thinks is your boyfriend, and he won’t admit it but he’s jealous.

“You’re not driving her, asshole. You’re probably as drunk as her,” Robby reaches to take your arm, but Hawk pulls you back.

“You don’t know shit about me, Keene. I’ve been sober for three months, so yeah, I will drive her,” Hawk picks you up like you’re a doll, placing you in the passenger seat and closing the door. You don’t resist, you just feel tired and your head starts to pound as if the mix of drugs in your system are punishing you. The window’s down, so you can still hear the two boys loud and clear.

I’ve been sober for three months, his voice echoes in your head.

“Oh so now you care so much about her? It’s your fault she’s like this!” Robby raises his voice even more, starting to move towards Hawk threateningly. You begin to feel scared that a physical fight might actually break out, but you don’t know what to do.

“I’m not the one who almost let her die a few minutes ago, am I? Just fuck off, we’re leaving,” Hawk dismisses him, walking around the car to the driver’s seat. You’re surprised by his self control to not throw a punch, especially with his reputation.

“Robby, it’s okay. I just want to go home. I’ll call you, alright?” you reach your hand out of the window in reassurance and he takes hold of it. Hawk clenches his jaw as he turns on the engine.

“Promise you’ll be careful? I’m sorry I left you,” Robby furrows his eyebrows in worry. When he came out of the bathroom, someone filled him in on what happened to you and he almost had a heart attack.

“Promise. And it’s my fault,” you hook your pinky with his, before the car pulls out of the curb and separates you from your best friend. He watches you guys drive away, an anxious expression etched on his face.

The whole situation has sobered you up pretty well, and now you’re left with a throbbing headache, wet clothes, and awkward tension. You hate it. Being sober. You miss the foggy feeling that prevents you from thinking too hard about things. But now you’re inches away from the boy who broke your heart, all by choice.

You don’t know why you agreed to go with him, but did you even have a choice? You’re confused by his actions. He acts like he hates you but he jumps in a pool for you. He yelled at you but he’s driving you home. It all makes you overthink and it causes your head to ache even more.

You hold your head in your hands to try and ease the pain as Hawk drives quietly.

“You good?” he breaks the silence. His voice is softer compared to how he talked to Robby minutes ago.

“Head hurts,” you mumble.

“What were you doing back there? If I didn’t get you out, you’d probably be in the hospital right now,” he says. You peek at him through your hands and his eyes are on the road.

“I don’t know,” you sigh. “It was just peaceful. I didn’t really even think about breathing.”

He scoffs. “Well that’s just fucking stupid. You’re lucky I noticed you were under for so long.”

“Well thanks,” you reply quietly, feeling like a little kid being scolded.

There’s a couple beats of silence before he speaks, “What happened to you?”

The question makes you sit up and look over at him. “What are you talking about?”

“The old Y/N wouldn’t even touch a drink. You’re different,” Hawk taps his finger on the wheel in thought. His icy blue eyes quickly glance at your confused look before returning to the road.

“You happened, Hawk.” You pinch your temples in frustration. Anger starts to bubble up in your stomach at his criticism. At the mention of “old you”.

“I didn’t do this to you,” he shakes his head, as if trying to convince himself of his own words.

“You did,” you raise your voice, making him flinch. “You know it.”

“What, because I stopped sleeping with you? I didn’t make you fall in love with me, Y/N. You did that to yourself,” he spits, sending a knife to your heart and making you see red.

“You knew I loved you way before I said it. But you still stringed me along, didn’t you? You knew I would pick up everytime you called. You knew that I would let you into my bed because I was the girl who loved you no matter how fucking shitty you were!” you fire back, vomiting out words that you’ve wanted to say for months. The alcohol in your system makes you bolder than usual, but you’re grateful for it.

He’s at a loss for words at your outburst so you continue, “I didn’t ask for this Hawk. Loving you. I’m sorry that I’m such a burden and that you hate me so much that you can’t stand being in the same room as me. But please just answer me this and I’ll leave you alone forever. I’ll leave when we show up at the same party and I’ll even hide in the halls so you don’t have to see my face.”

You pause, choking on your words. You didn’t even realize that the car is already parked in front of your house and your clothes are halfway dry.

“Why don’t you love me?” your voice cracks as you spit out the question that has caused you to throw yourself away. The question with an answer that could dissipate your self worth in a mere moment.

Hawk finally looks into your glassy eyes with shock. He could’ve never anticipated what you asked him and his mouth runs dry.

“I told you, I- I don’t deserve someone like you loving me,” he swallows, but you shake your head.

“That’s not what I asked.”

He blinks slowly, trying to come up with an excuse. Any excuse, to avoid telling you the truth. You can see the inner conflict on his face, the panicked speed of his running thoughts.

“You should go home, Y/N,” he deflects, turning away from you. Putting on his mask to keep you from reading him like a book.

“I’m not going until you tell me,” you demand.

“Just get out of the car, fuck!” Hawk yells, slamming his hands down on the steering wheel. It makes you jump a little, but you’re too angry to fear the flames in his eyes.

“Why can’t you just tell me!” you fire back. “You came to me almost every night, so why do I feel something that you don’t? Is it me? Is there something wrong with me?”

“What do you want me to fucking say Y/N! That I do love you? Fucking fine. I love you. Is that what you wanted to hear? Just get out.”

I love you.

The same words you said that made him leave.

“You don’t even mean that,” you blink back your tears.

His voice is softer now, more gentle. “If I didn’t mean it then I wouldn’t have said it.”

“You said you needed me and then you left me,” your voice shakes and you hate how pathetic you sound.

“I-I didn’t leave you,” he stammers before taking a deep breath. “I left because you wanted something more than I could give you. I would’ve felt like a selfish asshole if we became more than just sex, Y/N. You deserve someone like Keene and yeah he’s a pussy but he’s good. Better than me.”

It feels like every piece in the puzzle is being put together. Everything makes sense. He does love you, but he was just afraid. He can’t be near you because it hurts too much to see someone he can’t have. Somehow, you can’t find the anger you’ve held against him for these past months; you just understand him now.

“I’m sorry, alright? For everything. For treating your feelings like shit. All of it.”

You swallow, thinking about his words. It all feels too much and the truth is now looking you in the eye, demanding an answer. You love him, but he dropped your heart on the floor for you to pick up every shard. Is one sorry going to magically fix everything?

“I- I don’t know what to say,” you admit, and he nods in understanding.

“You don’t have to say anything. Let’s just... move on. And you get better... I hate seeing you like this,” Hawk scans your red eyes and dilated pupils. “We’ll get to a better place and you and me, we’ll be good.”

It’s bittersweet, but he’s right. Being together now just because he loves you back would be a huge jump that would only end in broken hearts and toxic cycles. It would be foolish. As much as you want him, the only person who can fix you is yourself.

So it’s a meet up at the top of the mountain, when you’ve both made the journey from opposite sides.

“A better place,” you reiterate, before placing a light kiss to his cheek and leaving the car with a new sense of closure.

a/n: that was longer than i planned and a freaking roller coaster!!!!!!! im not sure if there should be a part 3? lmk what you think maybe it’ll just be short. but hehe i added robby into the mix he was so cute. ty for reading!

taglist for people who wanted part 2 :) ty friends for the support <3 @littlered6307 @deadbeatharlz @spiderman-berries @axastasiasstuff @r0-xie @estupidteen @hawkwhore @idkwhatishouldput4

[destinyc1020]

*****🚨 ⚠️NWH Spoilers (just in case)🚨 ⚠️  

Omg!!! I really enjoyed NWH so much!  😃  It was way better than FFH imo.  I loved how the movie took me on an emotional rollercoaster all throughout. It was fun, exciting, nostalgic, funny, sad, emotional, and intense all in one!  I loved it.  ❤️    I’ve already seen the movie twice!  😂

I liked how we got to see a little bit more of MJ and her personality. We even get to see her in her room lol.  I liked how we got to see some backstory on Ned, and even got to see his grandmother.  I liked how the teachers did NOT get much screen time in this movie (no offense lol) like they did in FFH.  I also liked how the movie was a bit more serious this time around, and wasn’t just a bunch of jokes (I kind of felt like FFH was a little too much joking/trying hard to be funny at times).   I loved seeing Peter and MJ’s development as well!  And I felt like they had way more chemistry this time around when they were no longer being anxious, awkward teenagers around each other lol.  I loved seeing the softer side of Michelle as well. She’s really come a long way since the first movie! 

I was heartbroken about Aunt May’s death, and it really was gut-wrenching, but I’m kind of curious to know how Peter is going to navigate his life going forward now.  I kind of feel like Marisa Tomei’s character was kind  of wasted in this franchise (jmho), but she did a good job with what she was given.  

I LOVED LOVED LOVED seeing all of the old villains and Tobey and Andrew come back for this!  Sooo many memories! Omg...I squealed in the theater when Andrew popped up lol.  😂  And I cheered even more when Tobey appeared lol.  I KNEW IT!  I always said to myself that when a rumor just won’t go away, it usually means that there’s some TRUTH to the rumor lol.  I’m just happy that now the cast doesn’t have to lie anymore lol!  😂 Remember back when Jimmy Kimmel was asking Zendaya what kind of food Tobey and Andrew like for Thanksgiving, trying to trick her into spilling some details lol??  🤣  Anyway, I was shocked at how much screen time they got tbh, because I figured they would only get a quick cameo, but they got a LOT of screen time!  And seeing Tom being able to share the screen with those two who came before him must have been SUCH a huge moment for him!  My heart welled up with pride when I saw them all onscreen together, and the group  hug...Omg....  😭 😭 I know Tom must have cried on set lol.  What an honor....  I was so happy for him when I saw that scene.  🥰  I’m assuming this is “the scene” he was referring to that was a huge moment for him in his career.  Just a guess lol. 

This was such a huge and emotional film for everyone, and I can’t wait to see it again!  Andrew is still a GREAT Spider-Man, and Tobey is still a good Peter Parker. It’s like, they have their strengths, and then Tom is like good at being both Peter and Spider-Man in an effortless way.  It’s like, I never forget who he is underneath the suit when he puts it on, which is what happens to a lot of actors when they play dual roles in superhero films.  

RE: The Press Tour...  I LOVED it!  I think they handled it beautifully! Sooo many cute and sweet moments between the two of them.  🥰  When you compare their NWH press tour, to their FFH press tour, you can tell that they were definitely going through a breakup in 2019.  😔  They just seemed sooo much more relaxed, chill, and comfortable with each other the entire time during this NWH press tour.  Sooo many sweet moments that we will probably be posting in gifs and pics for months to come lol.  Even Jacob seemed way more relaxed during this press tour lol. Everyone seemed less on edge imo lol.  

 RE: The NWH Ending... Oh boy, the ending was sooo bittersweet!  😭  I honestly didn’t understand why Dr. Strange had to erase everyone’s memories of Peter Parker. Why couldn’t he just erase the fact that people linked him to Spider-Man?  I just didn’t understand that lol... But oh well, maybe I’m not supposed to think TOO deeply about it lol.  I felt so sad that Ned and MJ acted like they didn’t even know who he was at the end of the movie.... But, at the same time I kind of wonder how MJ and Ned would have even ended up being friends w/out the Peter connection tbh lol...because let’s be honest, even though they were both on Decathlon, MJ was pretty closed OFF in HOCO, and barely ever made any friends lol. 😂 

Anyway, it was so sad that Happy and MJ didn’t recognize Peter at all, but MJ is still wearing the black dhalia necklace at the end of the movie, so hopefully one day she’ll ask herself where she got that necklace and how it got broken lol.  😂  I just have hope/faith that she will figure something out or start to remember something about Peter in time.  I’ll be honest though, I’m really excited to see where the next movie takes us!  I LOVED seeing that  Peter is now venturing out on his own, he’s got his own apartment now, he’s studying for his GED’s, and he’s making his own suit.  I feel like the movie basically undid all of the mistakes/issues that some of the fans complained about in the franchise (ie. Peter not making his own suit, everything being handed to him by “Mr. Stark”, Peter never having to struggle, etc), and this is Sony/Marvel’s way of sort of starting from scratch again, with an eventual ADULT Peter Parker in the future films to come! 😊 I’m actually REALLY excited to see what’s next for Peter and his friends, especially since hopefuly they will be graduating or in college by then, and I’m excited by the prospect of there not being any Avengers or mentors in the films anymore lol.  😂   It’s time for Spider-Man to shoot his webs and swing through NYC on his own!  I’m sooo EXCITED for that, and I can’t wait to see Tom take on this role in a 4th movie!  

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

it’s halloween month so I would love to know any and all of your dan/nate halloween headcanons (bonus points if milo’s there too) 🧡🖤🧡🖤🧡🖤🧡

you sent this on the first of october like the wonderful festive pumpkin pal that you are! but i have been sooo no thoughts head empty,,,, and i wanted to give this actual deliberation & thought before diving right in, so....

DAN, SPECIFICALLY:

ok. i think dan would have complicated & conflicting feelings re: halloween. we already know, canonically, that rufus was really into halloween, so this paints a pretty elaborate image in my head of halloween at the humphrey household - i bet it was a lot of fun! but then, of course: alison left. i think holidays in general become difficult for dan in the After, because they remind him of a time his family was truly happy that he cannot go back to.

so halloween is always bittersweet for dan, he'll carve all the pumpkins and get nate all the pumpkin flavoured stuff from all the cafes, and his wardrobe is so full of browns and sweaters that he's always ready for fall anyway, and he's happy! he is. but sometimes he'll remember another family he used to be part of that's all fractured & fragmented now, and he'll get a little sad. it happens less frequently over the years, but it never quite stops. (nate the ever observant always puts an arm around him and kisses his cheek, and says something silly to make dan smile. sometimes they talk about it; most of the time they don't. but nate is always there, quiet & non-judgemental, waiting for when/if dan needs him.)

NATE, SPECIFICALLY:

on the contrary........ halloween is natie's absolute FAVOURITE. much like the thanksgiving flashbacks we get in 1x09, i feel that halloween for nate, during his childhood, would involve being with blair & serena and all of them having the time of their lives. i think anne & howard would drop him off at the waldorfs, and eleanor would entrust blair & serena & nate to dorota's care. when they're younger they go trick or treating, and blair is very serious and very prim & proper and has on a perfect, sophisticated costume (she dresses as movie characters always) while serena's in a state of chaos, her costume for whatever she's dressing as (usually a witch or a ghoul or something like that) is a bit lopsided, the ribbons in her hair are coming out, her makeup is smudged (not deliberately!). nate, naturally, is sort of in between those two states - blair dolls him up and sets him to rights, serena takes his hand and runs around with him until his costume is a little wonky - by no means as much as hers, but definitely not in pristine, blair-approved state. blair just gives serena & nate a tired, Adult look, like they're toddlers and she's the babysitter (this doesn't change over the years, and this dynamic sets in remarkably quickly.)

once they're older, there's alcohol, there's halloween parties maybe, but nate still sticks with blair and serena, and they still hang out with him. halloween & the first of november are THEIR days, because they always do a sleepover on the 31st, and waking up together on the 1st of november is just something that makes the day Theirs, to nate. so unlike dan, for nate, he DID have that family feeling, and he had it consistently over the years, and he knows that it exists still.

DAN & NATE, FINALLY:

nate gets so excited for halloween! he goes full on into event-planning mode. he and jenny get really engrossed in designing costumes for the humphrey gang, and dan is like "who are you again?" and nate gives him the finger + an unamused look. halloween is a great bonding time for dan & jenny's gf, actually, because both of them get to watch their partner be an absolute dork over the holiday AND get really into designing (which is normal for jenny but not for nate, lol.) they just sit together and share drinks and act very, very cynical.

dan knows that halloween month is a special month for nate, and he's determined Not to be a grouch, so he goes out of the way trying to keep that cheer alive. he bakes sugar cookies that he ices to look like ghosts, he carves pumpkins, he does All The Things. but in a similar vein, nate knows that halloween month is a bit rough for his bf, so he is extra cuddly and patient, and goes out of his way to remind dan again and again that he loves him, that they're family now, etc.

i think halloween would also bring a lot of gender feels to dan, who gets this one holiday in which it's socially acceptable to wear makeup and doll himself up and dress up as whoever he wants to be. i think that'd give him a lot of euphoria, a lot of questioning, and a lot of anxiety, all at once, and i think nate would just be there like a stabilising force, because nate just loves dan that unconditionally, whoever dan is, even if dan is figuring that out - nate loves dan. i had more to say about This Point specifically but i am so tired, i kind of forgot what it was.

oh!!! vampire movies. all of them. nate and dan WOULD. they'd watch endless nights and they'd watch vampire porn and they'd definitely sleep together after THAT. nate would bite dan's neck and repeat some dialogue from the porno, and dan would laugh, but he would also be so, so turned on. (what! parts of this are literally canon!)

since dan also canonically reads anne rice (i wonder if he's one of the fic writers who got a cease & desist or whatever she was sending at them back in the day, that would be an interesting dan humphrey backstory) i think he'd read it aloud to natie. nate would just be lying there with his head on dan's lap, and dan would be sitting up reading aloud, one of his hands carding thru nate's hair.

at a blairena halloween party one time, dan and nate dress up as... *drum roll* each other. are you surprised? yeah, me neither. they keep making risque references to That Night At Yale, and blairena threaten to kick them out of the party (empty threats.)

MILO HUMPHREY MY BELOVED:

i wish i had more milo headcanons than just "jenny designs extremely elaborate costumes for milo, and nate goes trick or treating with him" but that's kind of it. milo would also end up wearing a LOT of orange-brown-maroons to school all through october (dan is like, nate, the kid is 5, is this the age to put your fall agenda onto him? nate is like, yes.) i think once he's older, milo would start getting these ridiculous mugs home in october - a pumpkin mug, a mug shaped like a skull, a mug shaped like a skeleton hand, etc. think mugs that look like THS thing that krysten ritter is holding:

dan looks at the collection of horror themed mugs they have with equal parts dismay and pride, and looks at nate like, yeah, you sure did raise this kid alongside me, didn't you? this is all YOUR influence, babe.

i also feel like milo would wear black nail polish ALLLL the time. he'd start during halloween and just never stop. i mean. if you're curious about this, i have two words for you: aunt jenny.

BONUS:

nate finds photos of a younger dan trick or treating - dan must be 7 or 8 in these photos, and he & vanessa are both dressed up as witches, with the hats and everything. dan is carrying a pumpkin shaped lantern, and marx is sitting in the lantern, peering out from inside it.

dan just smiles, and goes, "yeah, when i was a kid, all my costumes involved marx in some way." there's marx with angel wings (looking extremely disgruntled), there's marx with a green blanket around him ("he was a caterpillar that year," dan informs nate seriously), there's marx with a little bonnet on his head ("he hated that SO much," dan laughs).

the humphreys adopted marx when dan was around 7 - and given how unconcerned rufus is by lily's lack of pets - when he moves in with her, they do not discuss getting a cat or a dog or a bird or anything.. i'm guessing that maybe alison and dan went to pick marx out. i think dan and jenny have both seen marx grow from being a kitten to an adult cat, but because dan was older he remembers it slightly better. and dan and that cat were INSEPERABLE, to the extent wherein dan would often put marx in a pram and stroll him around everywhere. (there are halloween pictures of this, too.)

anyway, i'm just saying.

"he was my partner in crime," dan says fondly, looking at a picture of marx.

"i'm your partner in crime," nate corrects him.

"well, yeah," dan says. he raises an eyebrow. "but do you really need to compare yourself to my cat?"

/end

[yamithediaperdork]

Crime and Punishment: Jail Bird Diaries (MHA)

Crime and Punishment: Jail bird diaries

*The following is the entries from a diary recovered from the cell of one Katsuki Bakugo after serving his time in the regression jail. certain entry's have been removed as the writing was unable to be made out.*

Week 2, Day 1

So after a fucking week in this stupid fucking hell hole they dare to call a good idea, It's been suggested to me by the stupid AI I have to refer as daddy that I might calm myself down and stop adding time to my stupid fucking sentence if I vent in this stupid fucking book. I pointed out I can barley hold this stupid fucking crayon with the mittens i have to wear but a hand just came out of the wall and patted my head, telling me I'm a clever boy and I'll figure it out. I would of added anther two months onto my sentence right then and there if it wasn't for these fucking glove, even if Maybe kinda sorta..the head pat felt nice. ANYWAYS! to any assholes reading this, expect lots of fucking cursing because daddy said I can swear all i want in here and I have a back flow I need to get out. I mean with all the stupid fucking bull shit I have to put up wi- And fuck me, shitting myself again. fuck this place sucks.

Week 2, Day 2

You just know it's gonna be a shit fucking day Diary when you wake up to the feeling of having a uber load in the seat of your pants patted and rubbed and being praised for being a super good pooper. I'm already not a fan of the super bulky diapers these bastard keep me in but 'daddy' has apparently registered me as a super pooper and states anything thing less wouldn't hold up to my boom booms. refer to my statement about earning more time in here from the last entry for my feelings on THAT! I had figured with the massive bulk of these things at least I wouldn't have to worry about any cutesy outfits save for some t-shirt but since apparently I pissed off god, guess fucking what? No really, Guess. If you guessed they went and adjusted some of the sleepers that all the other big babies in here sleep in to fit over my massive diaper ass then ding ding ding! winner winner chicken dinner. Picture me, a man known as a murder god..and in a blue full body fuzzy care bear style with a white tummy and 'har har' the grumpy bear symbol on the belly. Fucking thing even has a hood! I swear if it wasn't for the fact the thing was soooo soft and kinda comfy, I would of found a way to rip it off. and I don't care WHAT daddy claims, I only dropped right off to sleep in it because he drugged my milk, not because I felt warm and safe. Fuck this place!! I never thought I'd be semi ok with the stupid paw patrol t-shirt and my giga diapers on display.. anyways wrapping this up, apparently I'm having more fucking visitors today. fucking yay..

Week 2, Day 3

Oh my fucking god. yesterday would just NOT fucking stop. apparently it was some sort of official visitors day or some bull shit like that. 4 fucking visitors and three of them not fucking Deku who's trying to make it a point to show up every day as support. first up was mister shock and awe himself Denki. He just couldn't get that stupid grin off his face and kept gushing about how cute I was and how much he wished he could of came in and given me butt pats. I was about ready to snarl that he couldn't when a couple of daddies arms came and took a firm hold on me to keep me from bolting and then the cell door opened up. "Come on in! Katsuki can use all the butt pats he can get. I know he'll act like he hates them but all little guys like him love them." Daddy said. Like, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK! So in from that stupid blond and the door shuts and daddy tells me to turn around and present my rump for pats. Like I was gonna fucking listen to THAT and turned around to tell the speaker box his voice comes from as much and well.. Ok You see my mistake? I swear I was turning to tell daddy off but according to him and Denki I turned around like a good little boy eager for my bum pats and before I could get a god damn word out that's what was happening. talk about major fucking blushing going on and gah, not proud to say this but without a second thought i spread my legs a little so that he could get a better pat going on and it MIGHTA of sorta felt nice for all of 0.0000001 seconds! Daddy and Denki are lying sacks of shit when they say i coo'ed! Basically spent the rest of Denki's visit after that over his lap, getting butt pats and back rubs and being told just how cute I am and how much he prefers me like this. if it wasn't for the fact punching a visitor would of netted me a extra year I woulda slugged him. that the only reason i went along with it..

after a hour he left and Daddy was praising me for being a super good boy and rewarded me with chocolate milk in a bottle instead of the normal formula and put some power rangers instead of paw patrol on TV.  I mighta zoned out holding my bottle with both hands cuz of the mittens and chugging and watching that I didn't notice my next guest till I heard the giggle. whipping my head around and giving me one hell of a neck ache thats still kinda here, I saw what looked like a school girls outfit standing up on it's own and knew it was Tooru. "oh my gosh don't stop because of me! that was sooo cute! I wish they hadn't of taken away my cell phone i would of taken the cutest video!" she gushed and clapped. I held up both hands and because of the mittens she thought I was showing I wanted uppies but I think you know what i was really doing Diary. Of course daddy let her in too and she kept giving me heads and patting my head and asking daddy all sorts of questions about my treatment and like.. ugh. I felt like a toddler getting hugs and attention but ignored while the adults talked. she tugged me onto her lap and kept rocking me and tickling my tummy and it took me awhile to figure out what she was trying to do, she was trying to make me crap myself during her visiting time! well she left half disappointed because even though i was cramping, all i did was wet my diapers so I'll count it as a win. ...that said about 10 seconds after she left I was squatting and totally loading these stupid diapers to the brim.

Thankfully for what tiny bit of pride I've managed to hold onto, while my diaper change took what fucking seemed like forever, I was re-diapered and daddy was in the process of tossing the stinky one when my next guest arrive. because I'm Mr. fucking popular. It was Deku of course and because he's been here so often he's got a special pass that just lets him come in. He was in the middle of saying hi when his nose wrinkled and then he covered it and coughed a little . "oh, somebody just had a diapie change I uh..smell." he said sheepishly. "Oh yeah, little guy is living up to his label as a super pooper." Daddy said. "oh my god freaking stop calling me that!" I whined and uh..Maybe didn't help with trying to give off a big boy image because I was still on the changing table and grabbed a stuffed bear and put it over my face. "oh my gosh, CUTE!" Deku squealed and daddy was laughing. Like..fuck. it's bad enough when the shit they're making me do gets that reaction..then i fucking set myself up for it. getting off of the changing Table me and Deku did our normal catch up and I once again begged him to try and get the other kids in 1-a to stop coming here, telling him about Denki and Tooru. the green haired bastard just told me everyone missed me and wanted to make sure I was doing ok and not to be such a grumpy Gus. I swear I almost took the extra year right then and there. Instead I switched the convo to talking about what was going on at school and what I had missed and yeah.. it was kinda nice catching up a little bit. I hadn't dared asked till now worried it might just trigger a fit that was going to add time on you know? and Deku was nice, not rubbing it in or at least trying not to that they were going on bigger and more exciting field trips and shadowing full on heroes this week. I think it helped that while we talked I started to color in one of the coloring books Daddy provided and Deku joined in, though his picture was colored in a lot better then mine cuz well he has full use of his hands. As his time ran out and it was time for him to go, Deku made me blush like crazy when he asked if he could have the picture I colored to hang up on his wall and asked if I'd color more pretty pictures for him. being at a lost of words, I just nodded my head.

After Deku left daddy said it was time for a quick lunch and then a nap, I was clearly worn out and had one more person to go. I just sighed and went along with it because it's not like I would of really had a say in it anyways. again apparently my behavior for the day was having a effect on my dining choice because while I was put in the same high chair I normally was, instead of yucky baby food I got some cut up chicken nuggets and fries. I wonder how good I'll have to be to score a medium rare steak? anyways, after lunch and a burping I was put down for a nap and woke up to the sound of the door to my nursery prison. I was still groggy and stuff so when I rolled over and looked up to see the face of my mother, i just thought I was dreaming for a second and gave a tiny giggle and ugghhh.. say "hi Mommy." it wasn't till she broke out laughing I realized she was really there. She was..very amused to say the least and told me she had canceled the cruise she was on and flew back home as soon as she could when she'd found out the news. she mentioned that she had been made aware that there WAS a option to give me a form of parole in that I could go and move back in with her for the term of my sentence and she could let me get away with just pull ups and she had been thinking about exercising it..Until she fucking saw me in here and saw how 'natural' I looked like a big baby! I'm...I'm not proud to say I mighta of broken down bawling and begging her to let me come home with her, and ugh.. as I got more hysterical I ended up promising to be the bestest little boy ever. Mom just hushed me and picked me out of the crib I'd been in and hugged me to her chest, patting my squishy bottom (Hey, all the milk i had before going night night, you'd of wet yourself too!) I realize i never covered this before but i had been put down for my nap in just my diapers so there's THAT fun mental picture of me in my booties and mitts and soggy huggies and Mom cuddling me and trying to calm me down. I was bawling and hiccuping when she popped a paci in my mouth and sat down on a rocking chair that daddy provided and with me curled up in her lap rocked back and forth talking about how I had just proven this place was doing wonders for me and then started to ask daddy questions about where to get supplies. curled up close to mommy and hearing her heartbeat.. I..Fell back asleep.

Thankfully no ones coming today, not even Deku since he's busy..I just don't know if I could handle it after yesterday. and yeah, the rest of the day after I fell asleep in mom's lap was just a blur. fuck.. I need to get out of here.

Week 2, Day 6

Know I ignored you for a bit there kinda Diary, I went to write in you but just came out all mixed up and crossed it out. I've mostly docile since Mom's visit and uh..kinda sorta.. I dunno. Kinda wish Deku would come by. I know he's got that big shadowing All might thing going on but..Fuck. I dunno. Daddy keeps going on about me almost hitting a critical point in the program and I don't know about that..I just..I almost wish mom HADN'T of told me about how i could of been at home you know? I was struggling with this before finding that out. I'm spending the day in my sleeper t'day, I just wanna feel all..I don't fucking know.. small and safe? and that helps with it and daddy was more then understanding when I asked to. It just has to come off when I'm eating and stuff and well, semi gone back to the baby food but still getting milk milk. and the baby food is a yummy flavor at least. I dunno Diary, I think thats it for today. Katsuki out.

Week 3, Day 5

Man, looking back on the past couple of entries I did between here and last week and even I can't make out what the heck I wrote. guess a semi recap is in order. Midoriya ended up visiting me during supper on day six of last week and asked if I had any more pretty pictures for him. I hadn't thought I'd actually done any but I guess in the semi daze I'd been in I had and daddy brought them out for him. I told him about mommy visiting and he was really sympathetic and agrees that she shouldn't of told me about the possible parole if I wasn't gonna get it, He had known but well.. knowing my mom like he does had already figured out what she'd picked. He just didn't wanna get my hopes up. Daddy let him take over feeding me and I dunno..it was kinda nice and stuff. we watched a bit of TV after till I started farting lots and Midoriya tactfully left before I ended up going poopies in front of him saying he knew I was in a fragile place and promised to visit the next day. Day 7 was basically the normal same old same old, got out of my sleeper, breakfast and a diaper change then playing with my toys and watching tv till Midoriya showed up. He joined in on a awesome game of Teddies VS Building blocks and I was uh.. kinda giggling like a real little guy and sooo relaxed that I didn't notice something till he brought it up, wrinkling his nose. "Katsuki, did you go poo poo?" He asked. Well, of course I said no because I hadn't felt myself go but then I got a whiff of myself and god, that was sooo embarrassing!! Midoriya ended his visit early as he knows I hate being watched during a change, but told me how much of a good boy I was and that made me blush and smile. After he left and I was all nice and clean from the poopie diaper daddy didn't dress me though, it was time for a bath and a section of the wall opened up and I was led to a fair sized tub and allowed to get in myself. Daddy got me all washed up as the tub filled up and even trusted me without my booties and mittens, though with the wall having sealed up behind me there wasn't really anywhere I could run to. with me all squeaky clean he let me play in the tub for a while as there were some toy boats and a few sea monsters and it was wayyy more relaxing then the quick showers I'm used to. finally when i was all pruney daddy drained the tub and dried me off with a nice fluffy towel and got me redressed though I was mayyybe a little more relaxed then I thought from the tub cuz I took my nap early, and ended up missing a visit from Ojiro. (Daddy said the only reason he'd interrupted my other nap was cuz well, Mom is my real mom.) Is it weird I felt bad he came ALL the way here to see me and couldn't because I was a sleepy little guy? I dunno. Man.. this place is getting to me ya know? basically lather rinse repeat for the next couple of days, being fed, playing with toys, watching cartoons, and filling my diapers. getting to see Midoriya and hand out and yeahh. Yesterday Ojiro tried again and this time I was awake and heh.. he was really nice about it and told me he forgave me already when i whined out a sorry for being asleep the last time. in his own words he really should of called ahead since little guys like me are prone to impromptu naps. After that we played blocks for a little while and he just kept smiling so much and squirming about till daddy asked if he needed to use the potty. Ojiro blushed uber bad which in turn made me giggle like crazy and said no, but took off shortly after. I wonder what was up with him? I tried to ask daddy but he just patted my head and told me to color a picture for Midoriya, so I guess I'll ask him when he comes over today.

Week 3 Day 7

Midoriya just laughed when i asked him my question  and still won't answer it, even after i threatened NOT to make him any more pretty pictures. Daddy and him both found my threat to be funny and cute though so I guess that's good. Denki came to see me again and was all about patting my butt again and playing peek a boo with me.. which Ok. was fun for like a little bit buttt he reallly carried it on for too long but when i said I was getting bored we swapped over to playing with stuffies till his time was up. Well ok, I played with them and told him what was going on and he just smiled and told me how creative I was and made me grin like a dork. I asked HIM about Ojiro's odd behavior before he left and he got a BIG grin on his face and said he'd be back for more details and then daddy scolded me about not sticking in other peoples affairs. I'm so confused. The next day Midoriya was here and something reallly 'brassing happened.. I had gone boom boom once again and He was going to leave..but daddy asked him if he wanted to help change me!!! I don't know who was blushing more, me or him! In any case, after Midoriya helped cleaned my butt up and daddy re-diapered me, He took off all squirmy and blushing and daddy joked about me having a effect on all the boys.. whatever THAT'S suppose to mean. Mommy is coming by later today and I hope I don't spend her whole visit sobbing again like a crybaby.. though daddy said it's ok if I do cuz it's a big part of my rehab.

Week 4 Day 1

Sooo..who's got two thumbs and ended up crying himself to a early bedtime in mommies arms yesterday? THIS guy. she came in as I was having supper and technically it was too late for her to be there but they made a exception. I was already kinda.. whinny.. when it looked like she wasn't going to show but then daddy said she could only be there for half a hour. Mommy explained that she got stuck waiting on a delivery of things she's going to need for me in the future and took over feeding me the rest of my supper while I whined and huffed that I had waited allll day on her. It wasn't till after she had given me my ba-ba in her lap and burped me I thought to ask what she had ordered. She just smiled and told me not to worry about it and to be a good little boy and kissed my forehead and I.. I totally fudged my huggies, in mommies lap. Cue meltdown and I don't even really know why..it's not like I haven't been pooping my pants for awhile now right? I don't know whether it was because I was being held, or who was holding me, or just her reaction as i did it that got to me. "Oh! Somebodies making mommy a present!" with utter delight in her voice and patting my bottom as i kept filling my pampers to the brim. I just..I just started to bawl and sob and buried my face in her shoulder and no matter how much Mommy and daddy told me it was all ok, I couldn't stop. I don't even remember going to sleep or getting a diapie change..I just woke up this morning in my crib in a soggy diaper (Yeah I've become a bed wetter, so what!) and yeahhh.. Daddy says he'll tell me who changed me, him or her when he thinks I can hear it without bawling.

Week 5 Day 5

After holding up for journal for daddy to read, he told me I need to start taking time to calm down and focus before writing, my last couple of entries were all scribbles again. he told it was very cute and brave of me to wanna share it with him though and gave me lots of awesome head pats. I guess since i didn't make sense when i originally gushed about it, i should go back over it. Just shortly after the thing with pooping my pampers in mommies lap, i just started to really like head pats and daddy took notice and has been showering me with them. just makes me all giddy and I've started to lean into them. Midoriya noticed the love of 'em took and started to give'em out! Jirou came by with Asui and it was while I was watching some Micky mouse club house and singing along. I had just went "OH TOODLES!" and heard giggles and clapping and well blushed a bit..but daddies been trying to help me embrace what a little guy I am so I forced a smile then blew a raspberry at them. told'em if they wanted to come in and visit they could, but they had to join in and help Micky out. they giggled but agreed and well for a couple of stinky girls they weren't half bad to hang out with.

They weren't as fun to hang out as Mommy when she came and visited, though I said sorry a BUNCH of times for my fit she just gave me head and butt pats and told me it was all ok. She's been twice since the stinky break down and I've managed NOT to bawl both times for the most part. I mean..i get a little teary when she has to go buttt i get it. wish she could visit more but between work and setting my room up she's been a busy bee. I asked about why she'd hafa set my room up since I always figured after this I'll be going right back to school but she just chuckled and took out the action figures she'd brought from home for me and her to play hero's and villains with. (I mean, don't get me wrong, LOVE the stuffies I have in here, and Midoriya, Denki, Kouda and Tenya have gotten me others..but action figures are sooo much easier to have do cool stuff.) Oh guess i forgot to mention a bunch of boys showed up, Kouda, Tenya, Satou, Eijirou, and ughhh.. Mineta. They showed up as a group with some presents and while 4 of them were all cool and nice.. well, one guess who was a little butt? he actually got me so worked up with his teasing I swore for the first time in ages and daddy had to wash my mouth out but he also banned him from coming back. Back to playing with mommy, it was super fun, she was the evil baddies trying to attack the peaceful stuffie village and I was the heroes saying the day and giggling as i was in just a t-shirt and my uber diapies.  there was slight almost crying moment though while playing with mommy.. I went to lean forward to grab a action figure and just with like.. NO control blorted. It was loud and stinky and I guess I had the cutest look on my face. Maybe asked if I wasn't to stop playing while i finished or keep going and well..I didn't want her to be bored just sitting there watching me go blort. (Blort is a nick name for going poopie I picked up from Ojiro when he visited again, though his butt looked all puffed out and he seemed wayyy more into hugging stuffies then me. eh, go figure) Anyways, we finished up the game and I have having so much fun I MIGHTA pretended I was still blorting even after it was all out so we didn't have to pause again. I know I know, that meant sitting in my own poopie for awhile when I didn't hafa but I'm not really worried about a diaper rash or anything, they use like the best creams and powders here, and well I maybe kinda sorta like the squishy feeling.. though when i told daddy he said that's just because I haven't been able to make a big boy mess in awhile. I'm shocked my hair didn't ignite i was blushing so bad when he said that. Before you even ask diary, I waited till it was just me and daddy ta mention that.. though he hinted mommy had known I was done. He said maybe tomorrow if I'm super duper good today I can get a milking which confused me at first since I don't have boobies.  thennn he explained it out and um yeah.. lots of blushies and gonna try and be on my bestest behavior.

Week 9, Day 3

Sowwy been 'noring you. dis too busy hasing fun wiff everyone. daddy said it's otay though and told me to make at least one last entry in ya. Ummm otay. Sooo Turns out dat Ojiro and Denki are now all dating and kissy face and and Denki was a wanna be daddy dom and the reason Ojiro got all squirmy and silly? he was all jelly of me and my kick butt nursery! Apparently he was gonna -GIGGLE- try and git locked up in here so he could be babied and Denki just spanked his butt RED and pampered him. He's a super good at going blort too, and when they visit we have blort offs. (Score 4-3 in mah favor) Let's see...what else....Oh! Midoriya went and got a part time job as a daycare worker and 'ppently it's at a speical daycare where big babies like Ojiro n me can go, once I get out. kinda silly since i'm gonna be a uber big boy n stuff when i git out butttt daddy is always telling me to be polite sooo i nodded. He's been helping out wiff my diapie changes when he's here and even put in a few volunteer hours here to help out. (Such a good guy!) Mommies been by A LOT more latly too and can't stop gushing bout the appent change in my attuide. she's been bringing in and taking home my action figures cuz her and daddy agreed those are toys for use only under special supervision and I kinda ended up admitting to her I like sitting in my poopies now, at least for like.. umm.. 10 minutes. She just laughed and said noted and that it worked out with one of the additions she put on my room.. whatever dat means. She still wont tell me what she's done or why I'll be going wiff her when I get out, but eh, asking too many questions is a good way to lose a milking and the way daddy does'em.. dun what dat. Ummm I fink dat's everything Diary..fanks fer helping me get though the first bit of life here n being a friend! Daddy asked me to leave you here wiff him when I get out, but he'll print a copy for me and mommy.

After half a year in baby Jail, It was a fair different Katsuki who stepped out then had gone in. and that wasn't just referring to his change in attire. His quirk had more or less been nullified over the course of his treatment via special drugs in his drinks and food though it would return if he weaned himself off of said drug. Katsuki for his part didn't seem to mind since it got him out of his baby mitts and let him use his fingers for fun stuff like finger painting. (though even the daddy AI had learned it was best to strip him to just a diaper when he was painting, the little guy liked to draw on himself and had a massive fit when daddy had washed a turtle he'd drawn on his tummy off before he could show Midoriya.) He didn't even seem to mind that he'd been released in his now familiar bulky diaper and one of his many baby tops, wearing a pair of Winnie pooh socks and sneakers and holding onto his mom's hand as he was checked out. The warden smiled and waved bye bye to him as he was signed out and Katsuki semi hide behind his mom but waved bye back and then they were heading home.

"so Um..Mommmmmy?" Katsuki asked, sitting in the back seat of mommy's car, buckled into a customized car seat just for his puffy diaper butt. "whatttty?" She asked, looking back at him via the rear view mirror and smirking. "Can you tell's me now why we're going back home and not ta school? Like..is it so I can get's my big boy clothes on?" he asked, kicking his legs ideally. "welll you've missed most of the school year as is, there's no way you'll be able to catch up. so it's been agreed that you'll just take the rest of the year off and stay with me. and Besides, you need to re-potty train buddy." his mom pointed out. "...no i don't. I can hold it." Katsuki huffed, blushing and hugging one of the stuffies he'd been able to take with him and holding it to his chest. "Katsuki..what don't good little boys do?" She asked him. "...Lie." he huffed and looked down. "and what was that you just did?" "..Lied Mommy..I sowwy.." Katsuki said and he just looked SO sad and had tears welling up. "It's ok sweetie. Mommy isn't mad. but you need to tell the truth so you can have lots and lots of head pats ok?" she said quickly. "O-Ok..I..I guess..Maybe i kinda don't have pee control anymore..but I mostly know when i hasa blort." Katsuki said. "Mhhhmmm..well we'll be keeping you in your diapies for awhile and working you back up to be kid undies for the fall unless you decide you like being mommies little guy." "pffft, wike I'll PICK ta stay like this.." he huffed and squirmed. "Well if you do..a lot of what mommies been doing while you've been in there is baby proofing the apartment and turning your room into a nursery like the one you've been in, just no daddy though." "I..wait..wut?" Katsuki asked, and squirmed. "Yup, a changing table, a crib..I got you a high chair and got a baby bouncer for you because daddy told me it's your favorite way to make big boy messes after you've blorted." She giggled. Katsuki was squirming BIG time now in the back seat, and ended up popping his paci into his mouth and sucking on it big time and hugging his stuffie to his face. "oh it's ok sweetie. Mommy knows a growing boy like you has your needs. Just make sure to get mommies help if you wanna go bouncy bouncy ok?" She asked. The poor red faced boy couldn't speak, just suckled and nodded lots. the old Katsuki would of had a bitching fit and blown his way out of the car and stormed off..but Baby Katsuki just realized maybe just because he was out of baby jail..didn't mean he wasn't still a baby. 'I'm not a jail bird anymore..this is gonna be a longggggg summer..' He thought and then sucking on his paci and the noise of the car and vibration of it, drifted off to sleep like the big baby he was.

The end

[jiminieloved]

It's great that people would be okay with whatever their bond is but i honestly don't think i would :/ i've thought about it a few times and as lgbt i know i would be very disappointed of them doing things that very ""gay"" just for giggles and shit. and yes, they do know what they're doing. whether is real or not, they know exactly what it looks like. all of bts do. and this is something that's just in my head. jin said once somewhere "not like lovers" or something like when one of the others +

hugged him from the back in a photoshoot; so they know what their actions may come across. im sorry and maybe im way too strict with stuff like that, it's just that as a lesbian i cant come out to my family and lgbt people die and get beaten everyday around the world for the same things they could be laughing/playing around with. i dont think i would HATE them but i for sure wouldnt take them seriously anymore, not as a couple and i would probably lose a bit of respect for them individually. that aside, i think the whole "support" them thing it's actually meant romantically. like, if they're not a couple then there's nothing to support. you just bias them individually. i wanted to say also that i had wandered a little into the kpop world and the fetishization made me go back the way i came in the blink of an eye. i hate when girl members do this, too. i know there's a fair amount of kpop boys and girls who are lgbt, but there's also a lot of str8s who act like being gay is for show.

Okay this is going to be a bit of a long one because it’s a complicated subject and I don’t want to word something incorrectly. 

I understand your gut reaction completely, but I think there’s a layer to my statement you might not have understood, because it’s something I’m always a bit vague about/hesitant to speak on for fear of backlash, so I’m probably at fault for this misunderstanding. I’m just going to say how I feel about Jikook, no euphemisms or beating around the bush. 

A) Yes, fanservice culture is fetishization and I agree with your reservations about it completely. I spoke on my feelings about it here.

B) I think it’s pretty undeniable that Jimin and Jungkook have an extremely intimate relationship. It’s not really up for debate. 

A moment like this doesn’t happen without an immense amount of established physical and emotional intimacy. This isn’t phony. Jungkook wouldn’t have done this in front of thousands of people (knowing it was being recorded by hundreds for millions to see) if he wasn’t already in a space with Jimin where this was an acceptable form of comfort and affection. With a few exceptions, I think most of us can agree that this isn’t regular behavior between friends, or even family. It’s something (typically) reserved for lovers. It’s not my place to say what they are to each other, but this does not fall under normal standards for Korean skinship. 

So with all this being said, I think that it’s pretty clear that what we’re supporting is ‘real’, though I hate to use the term because it implies that other relationships between members aren’t real or genuine, which is not what I mean.  What I mean is that we chose to support Jikook because we saw REAL interactions there that don’t fall in line with typical ‘friend’ behavior, and we want to support this. 

When I say that if Jikook end up dating other people, we should support them anyway, it’s not because I don’t think what they have is special or tangible or ‘real’ in my eyes. But rather because they’re in a really complicated situation with a 1000 more variables in their relationship than even normal, non celebrity people have to deal with. Whether they’re just extremely intimate friends or more, they aren’t faking this for fanservice. It’s genuine interaction. As you said yourself, it’s one of the things that makes BTS stand out from your regular Kpop group. They don’t fake shit for fanservice, they embellish what’s already there. 

And I’m sorry, but the example I showed above may have started as fanservice, but it evolved into something beyond fanservice halfway through. 

My point about them having variables is that though clearly their relationship is extremely special and unique and full of love, they themselves are in a tough situation. You mention being a lesbian and not being able to come out, and how people around the world are attacked and murdered for being gay, and fanservice feels like a mockery to you. But remember- they live in this same harsh world we do. They live in South Korea, where being gay is still very much a taboo topic and by no means accepted by the general public. Gay marriage is not legal for them, there’s been almost no REAL representation in the media until extremely recently, and this is the culture they grew up in. Knowing what we know about their relationship, they’re in the same boat as you. They, if they are gay, can’t come out- they’re South Korea’s pride- they represent the entire country internationally. The amount of pressure on their shoulders is unimaginable. They are expected to be perfect, by Korea’s standards. Being gay does not fall within those standards. Remember a few months ago when Jungkook got into a minor fender bender? Somehow it became a national scandal. A minor mishap that a majority of the human population will go through at some point in their lives was blown up into a huge event and the public ripped him to shreds for it, trying to unearth every little detail and form it into a scandal. Now imagine if it was about their sexualities. 

I think you know just as well as I do that Jungkook and Jimin’s interactions aren’t laughing and playing around with LGBT culture. There’s certainly problematic aspects to idol culture and it’s fetishization of LGBT people, but what they show us, I perceive as genuine. Whether or not they other come out as anything, or let us in on their private lives during this time period in retrospect, I think we can trust them to not have disrespected us in such a thoughtless way. Jungkook especially has proven to be a huge supporter of LGBT culture and artists. I don’t think he takes our lives as a joke.

If they end up dating other people, it could be for a multitude of reasons. Maybe they were always just extremely intimate friends, and had an agreement they could date whoever they wanted. Maybe they were friends with benefits, and again, agreed to date freely outside of this. Maybe they are in a defined relationship, and won’t date other people unless they break up. Maybe they fulfill all the actions of a defined relationship without the label, and things are uncertain between the pair even now. There’s sooo many variables and soo many ways the future could turn out. It’s impossible to know from the outside looking in.

Either way, my extremely long-winded point is that regardless of the future, Jungkook and Jimin’s actions aren’t here to make a mockery of LGBT people and queerbait. They don’t do that, and I’d like to believe they respect us as fans more than that. The way they act is genuine; there’s no faking the amount of intimacy and love they’ve shown towards each other for the camera to the extent that they have, for the amount of time that they have. 

If they date other people in the future, it doesn’t detract from the depth and meaning behind their relationship now, no matter the label. 

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading. 

[aineirisha]

What I confessed while daydreaming

THE MEETING

He started paying you visits more often, especially after hard missions or bad days. 

He would take a night walk and end up on your tree branch with a not admitted hope of finding you there. Some nights he did, some nights he didn't. Most of the time you were either cooking, reading, or dancing. Usually dancing while cooking.

 It became his guilty pleasure. He'd sit on the branch and watch you enjoy whatever activity you were doing, letting that feeling of lightness brush over his much-wounded heart. He once caught you sleeping on the couch so peacefully it made him envious but at the same time, it was like he could feel that same peace. He stayed there for hours.

That night you were playing the duduk you brought from home. He heard the music before getting on his usual branch already pleased with the sound. He was even more pleased when he discovered it was you playing. He stayed there letting himself be carried away by the notes and closed his eyes. It was like listening to the wind blowing through the mountains and the cup of the trees. 

And there it was, that same chakra again. Spying on you from the same branch as always. It had almost become a routine at that point and you tried to keep it cool ever since you figured you were being watched over. You didn't want to give the Hokage any reasons to think wrong of you, but it started making you feel a little (annoyed) uncomfortable, it was your privacy after all.  You lowered your chakra as much as you could to make it imperceptible, left the duduk on the couch, and got out of your house.

"Instead of spying on me, you should just come in" you said standing next to him on the tree with your arms crossed. You caught Kakashi with his guard down, he opened his eyes and jumped out of fright and embarrassment almost falling off the tree. You stretched your arm to grab his hand and pulled him back to prevent him from falling (not that he needed it, though).

He took off his shoes before coming in, feeling completely awkward.

 "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" you said. He didn't reply, the stupor dominating him. "Want something to eat?" you opened the fridge. 

He stared at you, "You can sit down if you like" he stared at your couch. He didn't know what to say. You caught him spying on you. He'd thought he was being careful, turns out he wasn't being careful enough, apparently. What was he supposed to say in this situation?!... 

"Sorry" was all he came up with. You smirked and sighed.

 "For what? spying on me?" Hearing you say that stung him, he blushed in shame. 

Earth please eat me whole!! 

How could he be so careless? Him, the copy Nin, getting caught spying on someone. That definitely wouldn't look good on his record. You took your head out of the fridge along with something to eat. 

"No worries, I just hoped the Hokage had a little more faith in me, but it's understandable, I guess" So the influence of my power in him hadn't been enough. Great. 

He stayed silent trying to get over the shame. You put the plate in the microwave and sat down. 

"You are not from here" He concluded, your accent giving you away.

"Nope"

"Where are you from?."

You looked at him suspiciously. You had figured the Hokage would have him informed. But meh, better you telling him whatever you want him to know than him making wrong conclusions. You had nothing to hide. 

"Wind country, southern coast". The microwave beeped, you took out the food and offered him. He shook his head. 

"What brings you all the way to Konoha?" What the hell, southern wind country? that's like a month away from here!! He was trying to keep it cool on the outside and pretty much succeeding at it but he was really surprised and really confused. 

"Adventure" you smiled. He stared at the wall.

...

...

...

Kakashi’ brain went on loading mode.

"Wait, Sunagakure isn't south" Nothing was making sense.

"That's 'cause I'm not coming from Sunagakure" you replyed while you fixed your dinner and smiled mischievously.

"Aren't you shinobi?"

"Nope" Well you sure as hell have great control of your chakra. He thought.

"Then what are you doing in a Shinobi village?"

"Learning"

"And the Hokage let you stay here...?" What could you possibly be learning and why the hell are you hanging around in a SHINOBI VILLAGE?!!! Aren't we supposed to have restrictions for outsiders?

"Shouldn't you know?" You were convinced that man right there was spying you under Sarutobi's orders buuuuuut he actually wasn't, and he wasn't getting that you were thinking that, and he was even more confused now, so he just stared at the bookshelf. 

His gaze stumbled upon Icha Icha and his thoughts focused on it. He stood up and grabbed the book from the shelf. You laughed ironically. Of course, from all the books I have there, he had to pick THAT one. You rolled your eyes and smirked. 

"You like Icha Icha?" he asked. 

"I'm liking it, yes" you answered carelessly. 

"Mmhh." 

"What?"

"Nothing it's just... weird, a girl reading this book"

"Why would it be weird?"

"Girls don't read erotic literature... I guess" He scratched the back of his head and shrunk his shoulders, thinking of all the times he had been called a pervert.

"Who told you that?" you gave him a judging smile.  

...

...

...

"So, you like erotic literature" He tried to break the awkward silence. 

"Not really. I mean... It's not what I usually read but a friend of mine wrote it so I just thought I'd give it a chance, you know." 

He didn't pay much attention to your answer, trying to organize his thoughts. So you were an outsider, living there, or so he assumed since he had been spying on you for over a month now. You claimed to be there on... an adventure? to... learn? learn what?... He took his eyes off of Icha Icha and put the book back on the shelf, seeing the other books you had. They were mainly Shinobi theory. History, Chakra, minerals, Jutsus, weapons, combat styles... So you were learning about the Shinobi world... Just like that?!

 Who are you and why are you so freely learning about things that are not meant to be of popular knowledge?! Is the Hokage ok with this?!. 

He grabbed the book on chakra and browsed through it. It was the book they used at the academy. One of the most basic ones, probably one of the first ones they teach with, even. 

You stared at him while you ate. The whole situation seemed a little surreal. You looked at his gloved hands holding the book. He moved with a kind of delicacy that caught your attention. He was delicate but he was also firm. He looked graceful and masculine at the same time. It was very pleasing. You smiled enjoying the sight. He put the book back and turned his head to look at you. 

"Sure you don't want anything to eat?" You asked kindly. 

"Thanks, I'm fine. Where did you get these books?" He was trying to understand.

"Well, the library" Duh!

"I mean... Why these books?"

"Iruka-sensei gave me a list of what I needed and those were the books" you answered carelessly (again) as if it was obvious.

Sooo... Iruka-san is teaching you things that aren't supposed to be of popular knowledge. Right... What?!? Nothing was making sense and he was just feeling awkward and ashamed. And a little bit worried. He awkwardly stared at you and at the bookshelf back and forth. His brain wasn't really working. How could you be so calmed?!. His paranoia started kicking in. You stared at him (awkwardly) in silence. 

...

...

...

"Well, it's pretty late. I should go back home. Sorry for the intrusion." You saw him leave your house with... hurry?. 

Hell! did I do wrong inviting him in?! What if he tells the Hokage? oh c'mon what's he gonna say to the Hokage? It's not like I said things Hiruzen doesn't know already. But maybe I screwed up. Maybe I shouldn't have been impulsive. Oh gosh! I don't wanna get in trouble. Maybe I should go after him and try to explain, but what am I gonna explain anyways?... CRAP!. You didn't move from your chair, not knowing what to do but still considering your options, thinking about his face. Why does he keep his face covered? And his hands... they seemed soft. Long fingers caressing the pages... Those gloves look good on him... 

He closed the door and sighed. What the hell just happened?! Him?! getting caught spying on someone?! His own pride couldn't believe it. Luckily no one was there to see and no one had to find out. He walked back to his apartment trying to understand... 

______________________________

Ch 1    Ch 3

Masterlist

@spnningtop Here it is :) hope you like it ;)

A/N: This is the begining of a (probably long) fic I have in mind. It mainly follows canon but with a charachter insert and is also the very first thing I ever write so I’m nervous and excited. 

Btw the duduk is a music instrument, kind of like a flute. It sounds very beautiful and soothing in case you want to check it out. I imagined her playing something like this (ir goes from 0:40 to  2:10) enjoy :) it is really a piece of art 

[alexhandersenx]

There’s No One To Save Me.

Modern! Ivar x Reader. Chapter 2

Hi everyone! How are you? I hope you’re all doing amazing! Okay, sooo here it is. You know at first I wasn’t really sure about keep going with this, but some of you wanted to read a bit more (thank you so so much to everyone who just took some time to write a feedback, I really appreciate it!) so here it’s the second chapter. I’m not sure about it but I’m happy with the result. Anyway, I still think this is not much my thing, but I really enjoyed doing it, so I hope, at least you enjoy reading it as well.

I’m sorry as well for taking so long to write this second chapter, this month it's been a mess and I'm not very inspired, but from next month I hope to be able to do it more often and with better quality!

Any kind of feedback is welcomed, and I’ll be so thankful for it, and obviously it can help me to continue the story and improve my shitty writing!

In case you haven't read the first chapter and you feel like it here you can find it!

Chapter 1 

Last thing and I’ll shut my mouth, the beautiful moodboard down here that I’m using for all chapters was made by this lovely girl right here @flowers-in-your-hayr​ and thanks to her work I got inspired to write this so THANK YOU SO MUCH SWEETIE!💗

Words: 2,2k

WARNINGS: (I’m awful at warnings, so sorry if there’s some missing you can tell me if you want to!): This story is my first try writing (biggest warning), mention of death, cursing, drug dealing, a bit of angst, English is not my first language, some shit going on without consent, (probably more things)

Your body began to be aware of your surroundings again. You tried to open your eyes, but a twinge in your head caused you to close them involuntarily. Slowly you opened them again and realized that you were sitting on the floor. When you tried to move your hands to push a lock of hair away from your face, there was a sudden metallic sound, "Perfect, tied up with your own handcuffs," you thought. You felt the place you were chained to and realized that it was a pole.

How could this happen? You've been working on the case for so long.  Your sixth sense began to get that feeling of failure in the last few days. You knew for sure that something was going to happen, and it wouldn't be to your liking. Maybe it was all your fault, maybe your attitude had dragged you there, maybe you deserved it. Your mind brought back those reassuring words from Heahmund, where were they now? You needed them again, where was Heahmund, and your colleagues? You only hoped they weren't dead.

Someone delicately removing that lock of hair from your face, erased your thoughts. You looked up and found yourself with two light blue eyes that belonged to the eldest of the brothers. Short dark blond hair, with some platinum highlights, and all messy, giving him a seductive look... What the fuck (Y/N)? - you thought. Not long ago, he almost killed you by choking you.

He reminded you a lot of someone, at that moment you remembered the man in the painting, he looked like him. Could it be his father? You had no idea, but there had to be some kinship between them because the resemblance in their features could not be pure coincidence.

     -      “How are you feeling?” - asked the boy, in a firm voice, but unable to avoid some concern.

     -     “Come on, brother, let's stop with the formalities," said Ivar cynically, crawling up to his brother and positioning himself in front of you -  “Start spilling everything you know about these people out of your little mouth”

You were silent, not knowing what to say. Those people? What people? The police? They were all there, waiting for your answer. The four brothers looking at you from different angles. Also, with them was the man from the warehouse. He was very tall and thin, with a slightly unsettling look.

     -     “What the fuck is wrong with you, are you deaf? Or didn't your mother teach you that when someone asks you, you have to answer?”- he said in a mocking tone, raising his voice.

The moment you heard your mother mentioned, the rage took hold of you. You couldn't stop yourself, and you snapped:

    -      “My mother did teach me how to answer, but it seems yours couldn't teach you how to walk”

And then you witnessed the moment in slow motion, you saw how his face from being raised with pride was falling slowly, his eyes bluer than ever, were piercing you. One second later, he was on top of you with a blade at your neck, staring straight into yours, clenching his mouth and breathing heavily because of the fast and sharp movement he had made in order to reach you crawling.

     -     “Ivar! Easy, kid, she' s just doing it to deflect the conversation. Don't do something you might regret later," said the only man whose identity you didn't know.

You saw how little by little the anger grew; he pulled the blade away from your neck and held it in his fist. He raised the arm on which he was holding it above your head, and with a quick, powerful movement he pulled it down.

      -     “No, Ivar!” - said the man and Ubbe in unison, which was all that was heard in the room.

      -  “Floki, I should cut out his tongue, don't you think? So that she learns who she has to threaten," he said hatefully as he unlocked the knife from the post where he had sunk it, a few inches from your head.

With the other hand he grabbed your face, squeezing your cheeks tightly, causing your mouth to open involuntarily. His glance passed from your eyes to your mouth and looked at you again. This time he caressed your face with his knife, came to your ear and whispered:

       -   “I don't usually spare lives, even pretty faces like yours. I hope you're good for something, don't waste my time again”. - he said, pressing the blade gently, as several drops of blood began to trickle down your face.

He walked away from you, and reached the chair on which Hvitserk was leaning, and with surprising agility and strength he climbed up and sat down.  Both looked at each other and Hvitserk nodded, passing the crutch to him and he stood up with it

       -  “Get up!” - He ordered you

You did it, with a little difficulty because you were handcuffed but without hesitation, after the little scene you were no longer able to play with his patience.

       -  “Take off her blouse" he said to Ubbe, who looked at him with open eyes.

       -    “Ivar... I don't think”.

       -    “Do it! It's not like it's the first time you've done it, brother” - said Ivar holding back his smile

Ubbe approached slowly, you stare at the ground. When he came to stand in front of you, you looked at each other. He stood for a few seconds waiting for some kind of approval from you. You could only blink, closing your eyes for a moment, to tell him to go on, you had no choice. Although you covered it up quite well with your hard countenance, he noticed your shame, and to make it easier he simply held your gaze all the time. He finished unbuttoning it and turned to face his brother, covering you in front of all those eyes.

       -  “Now what, Ivar?” - He asked slightly irritated

       -  “Get out of the way" Ivar said.

       -     “No” - Ubbe said firmly

       -  “Brother, get out of the way – he said, pointing out every single word.

       -  “Ivar, I don't play by anyone's rules, least of all my little brother's. What you're doing is pathetic and childish... undressing her to shame her, for all the gods Ivar, not like you were in high school!” - Ubbe said as Ivar clenched his mouth and passed by his side, bumping his arm against his brother's and reaching out to you.

He stood in front of you, looked up and down, and nodded to Hvitserk to come closer. Ubbe frowned without understanding. When Hvitserk reached his side, he approached you and examined you as his younger brother had done before, but with a naughty face.

        -  “In the centre” - said Ivar and you understood what was happening

Hvitserk took the microphone you had hidden in your bra in the centre where the two cups were joined. He passed it to Ivar, and he showed it to Ubbe.

        -  “Pathetic and childish, Ubbe”. - he said tired of his brother's replies, while making Ubbe feel bad about the scene he had made him imagine.

He took the small device and threw it to the floor and stepped on it, then left the room. Gradually they all came out behind him, not before Hvitserk winked at you and you sneered in displeasure. Ubbe stood there looking at them until they all came out. He approached you again and buttoned up your shirt, but this time he could not help but notice the tattoo on your rib, the date of your father's death. He stared at it for a few seconds, but then understood how uncomfortable the moment was and ended up quickly buttoning your shirt. He looked at you slightly blushing and with apologetic eyes. Without saying anything, he turned and disappeared.

Ivar left the room, as fast as his agility allowed him, his look said it all, or he came out of it, or he threw a couple of knives, one at you and one at his brother. What was Ubbe playing? To be your protective man now? Y were a vital source of information to get what they had been planning for a long time.

But besides that, Ivar had something in his head, this clash with you had left him thinking about many things, which were impossible to understand an that annoyed him even more. Amongst all of them, in his mind he was hovering over that moment when he decided not to stab you. At first, he was going to do it, he had no doubt, but he saw how you didn't hesitate, you didn't take your eyes off his blue eyes full of rage and something inside him made him turn the knife away. You were different, you weren't afraid, you didn't care about dying, what kind of person isn't afraid to die... Someone like him... maybe, after all, you weren't so different.

He arrived at the great hall. It was a giant room where there was an oval table made of mahogany wood. Around it were black leather office chairs, all equidistant and one of them was occupied. Ivar entered and without looking up he said:

       -  “Harald” - Greeting the only person in the room

Ivar sat on one at the end, leading the table. He waited for his brothers to settle into their places, he put both forearms on the table, interlacing his fingers, he raised his head and looked at everyone one by one, the last one to look was his older brother:

       -  “Anything to say Ubbe?” - he said in a tense and somewhat ironic voice as he tilted his head slightly to the side and opened his eyes wider.

       - “What do you want me to say, Ivar?” Was it necessary to make a big deal out of it in front of everyone? Was it necessary to make her feel this uncomfortable to get some shit out of her?

       -  “SHUT UP brother!” - shouted Ivar interrupting – “May I remind you that she's handcuffed for something, or have you forgotten the purpose?”

At that moment, the door opened, and everyone was silent, Aslaug closed the door after entering and took one of the empty seats and looked at them with a naive face:

        -  “Go on” - she said, waving her hands.

        -  “Ivar, I will never forget to avenge our father, that's for sure, and don't even think about insinuating it again” - said Ubbe losing his patience.

        -   “I'm glad to hear that, brother, I hope it's true" said Ivar sharply.

        -    “Come on, little brother, don't take it out on Ubbe because the cop put you in your place," Sigurd said in a mocking way.

Floki who was right next to him gave him a slap on the back of the head and then said:

       -    “Next time you're going to talk to the cop and see what clever words come out of your mouth Snake in the eye," said Floki with a characteristic laugh.

       -  “Can you all stop being little kids and explain to me what's going on here?” - said Aslaug in confusion.

       -   “We managed to catch a cop in the last assault, with some information, we can avenge dad”. - Hvitserk said

       -    “You know that since your father died, all I tried to do was protect you, I don't share your decision, but I respect it. The only thing I asked you was not to lose your temper during this mission, not to lose the values that I found so hard to instill in you. - Aslaug said in a calm voice. - Floki, I left you in charge, and I hold you responsible for any consequences. Do not harm that girl. - Aslaug sentenced

Majestically she got up from her chair, went to a bottle rack and poured some wine into a glass.

       -   We didn't say it was a gir... oh, of course, you and your dreams, mother - said Sigurd turning his eyes.

       -   I think I'm done here, I should get back to my stuff - she said slightly nervous

Ivar looked at her and squinted, he knew there was something else behind it, but he let his mother go, he would have time for that later. Again, he focused on what was happening at the table.

       -   “Well Harald, what do you propose? You're an expert at this, you're good with cops, weren't you going to help us? Go ahead! Besides, don't forget my mother's original request” - he said with an ironic smile that lasted only a few seconds on his face.

      -    “Ivar… maybe I could”

      -   “No, forget it. You're not talking to her. We'll be the only ones to have contact with the cop, sorry. Next idea!” - he said effusively

      -    “Well, maybe you should start from the beginning and ask her in a humane way and not by insulting her and pressing her with a knife at her neck” – said Ubbe and everyone looked at him

Ivar clenched his fists and his teeth, marking his jaw, bent his head down and lifted it with impetus and with a fake smile he said:

     -     Good! We'll try it nice and easy.

Tags: @maggiescarborough​ @youbloodymadgenius​ @a-mess-of-fandoms​ 

[web-of-fics]

Worlds Away

Requested by @spaghetittiesbcimgay : hey! could i get something with our boy peter with a really smart reader?? who’s an intern at nasa or smth? and is obsessed with her instruments (guitar, bass, etc) and also space? (can you tell i’m projecting?) idk if this would be wayy to specific (if it is, totally leave out the last bit!! :) ) and i have no idea where to go from there but ive been dying for some peter x smart!reader sooo.. thank u so much in advance xx

Summary: You and Peter Parker are two of the smartest kids at Midtown High. So why are you both completely clueless at the fact you both have massive crushes on each other? 

Words: 1391

✎_____________________________________________________________________

Obviously Midtown was full of students with extraordinary smarts and subsequent extraordinary internships because of it. Naturally, Peter had gotten a lot of attention when word spread that he’d swung (no pun intended) an internship with Tony STARK. The superhero hype around the school was real even months later. And after news broke about aliens visiting earth and all that a couple years ago, every hyper intelligent teenager’s hopes were directed on working with space tech: protection or exploration, it didn’t matter. But that was mainly Tony’s domain now and the world knew it, so Midtown’s students scrambled to find prestigious positions in other areas. 

When you got accepted to intern as a research assistant for NASA, you immediately shared the news with a few close friends. And they were, of course, absolutely stoked for you. They were also huge blabbermouths so by the time everyone returned to school that Monday, the entire grade knew. Jealousy emitted from them like the energy of an exploding star. But unlike a star, the only visible evidence were the side-eye glares and slight shaking of the heads in disbelief. If you could read minds, they would be a mix of chatter saying: ‘why does SHE get to work for NASA?’ ‘I’m twice as smart as her—that should be my job’ ‘I bet she paid her way in—they’re not even accepting interns in the middle of the school year’ ‘she’s two years younger than me! I need that internship more than she does!’ Etcetera.

But not everyone was so green. Peter Parker, for example, was over the moon (still no pun intended) when you told him. He was also your number one suspect for blabbing. At least with him and his big mouth, you knew it was from a place of pride rather than an attempt to spread gossip. As if anyone went to Peter Parker for gossip. Maybe that was part of the reason you found him so appealing. 

“If they send you to space will you let me know?” He said earnestly. You just laughed.

“I’m doing research, not training to be an astronaut. I don’t have the physical endurance!”

“But you’re smart enough to engineer a spaceship.”

You rolled your eyes. “Not on my own.”

“Still!”

“They’re not sending me to space and I’m not engineering a spaceship for other people to go to space,” you laughed.

“Well what are they not paying you for then?” he pressed.

“I’m joining the student research team that assesses alien remnants from the battle of New York to help find ways to improve our own space technology. NASA’s actually working closely with Mr. Stark on a lot of it--I’m sure he’d tell you more...”

You stopped talking at the awestruck expression on Peter’s face. He leaned forward.

“No way,” he gushed. “Mr. Stark didn’t tell me any of that. Wow, you sounded really smart just then.” He paused, thinking. “This is gonna be awesome for you, y/n!” he beamed, sounding just as enthused as you felt. 

“I know!”

“When do you start?”

“Not for a few weeks.”

“Good,” Peter said. 

You raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, I--I’m going to miss being able to hang out with you and stuff when you’re off doing space stuff.”

“Well, I won’t actually be in space at any point, so we should be good,” you smiled. 

“Well, you’re definitely smart enough to go to space, so when you do eventually end up on a spaceship--” Peter held up a finger to cut off your objections before you could open your mouth. “--You could entertain your fellow astronauts with some tunes.” Peter mimed an air guitar. 

“Shut up,” you laughed, swatting at his arm. “I think a theremin would be a better soundtrack for outer space anyway. Acoustic guitars have college-student-on-the-quad vibes.” 

“Not when you play.”

“Okay Peter,” you rolled your eyes, flattered but embarrassed by his persistence. “I’ll show up on the first day of my internship with a guitar slung on my back and ask if they’d prefer the sounds of Brian May or John Mayer.” 

“Perfect,” Peter said without a hint of sarcasm behind his smile. You blushed.

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After school that day, Peter came by your house as usual so you could work on homework together. You asked him once why he preferred to work at your place—not that you minded whatsoever, but you became curious after picking up on the pattern—and he said because your place was more “stimulating” than his. Stimulating! You had laughed so hard that his confusion had circled around until he worried he’d said something offensive.

“Stimulating? Really?” you had said after composing yourself.

“Well, yeah,” he’d replied. “You have all these cool instruments and your whole room looks like space.”

As you both entered it now, you bypassed the light switch and plugged in the strand of white Christmas lights that encircled the ceiling. Instantly the room was bathed in a soothing glow. You weren’t allowed to paint your walls black ("But it would look so much more like space, mom!”) so you’d ordered four giant tapestries with different galaxies on them and hung one on each wall. A sun-shaped lamp rested on your nightstand. It was one of those sunrise lamps that woke you up by gradually getting brighter in the morning to mimic the elusive wintertime sunrise. Your precious string instruments—an acoustic guitar (Gary) and electric bass (Lily)—stood opposite your bed. You couldn’t think of a better definition of a safe space. 

And now school felt like worlds away. Minus the fact Peter was here with you  to do homework.

Peter assumed his usual position in the bean bag chair furthest from the door. You collapsed into yours, closest to your instruments. A long ottoman served as a makeshift desk for you both to dump your school materials.

But today you both melted into the cushions without moving to open your backpacks, abandoned at your sides.

Peter--usually a ball of energy that would lead you to believe he was a puppy in a former life--closed his eyes and laid his head back. It had been an especially long week. 

Without giving it a second thought, you leaned sideways and removed Gary from its stand. Humming a little, your fingers grazed the guitar strings until the notes strung into the beginning of one of your favorite songs. 

After you finished you looked up and spotted Peter watching you. Of course you’d known he was there, but you’d half expected him to drift off before the first chorus. Your face burned.

His forehead creased. “Was that ‘Here Comes The Sun’?”

You lit up. “Yeah! You listen to The Beatles?”

Peter nodded, feeling confident. “John Legend is the best.”

You stifled a giggle. “Yep,” you said. You had an unreasonably strong urge to hug him. 

You hesitated, not sure if you wanted to stop playing or continue. 

“Can I hear another?” Peter said after a moment, making the decision for you. 

“Sure,” you said, suddenly feeling shy. “What do you want to hear?”

“Anything.”

“Okay,” you steadied your breathing. Deciding to stick with the space theme, you strummed the beginning chords to Muse’s ‘Starlight’ and sang along quietly, losing yourself to your music and completely missing the infatuated grin that found its way onto Peter’s face as he got lost in thought: 

Not only was he hanging out in the coolest bedroom he’d ever seen, he got to spend it with the coolest and smartest person he knew. He wanted to spend as many hours with you as he could, even though you would probably have a lot less free time once you started the internship. But until then, he would enjoy every moment he could. Like this one. 

And who knows, maybe one day space travel would be a regular thing and then you could both hang out on the moon together for real and get away from it all. Peter could listen to you play guitar and sing random songs all day. He might even tell you how he really felt about you once he built up enough courage.

But Peter realized those possibilities were still worlds away. And right now, his world was sitting across from him, humming like a windchime that told him he was home.

_______________________________________________________________________

Just one more before bed? Click here for a masterlist of my fics!

[oharaswife]

From Hate To Love - Alex Morgan x Reader - Chapter 1

A/N : Hello people, welcome to my new Alex x Reader story. To sum it up a little it will be an “enemies to lovers” kind of story with a lot of angst and drama. R is the new girl on the USWNT and for some reason Alex doesn’t like her at all, mostly because she thinks she’s an arrogant person, who loves breaking women’s heart aka a massive fuckboy. Also this is before the WC.

WORD COUNT : 3.2K

Warnings : Angst, light swearing

Anyway, hope you’ll like it.

ENJOY

When Alex first saw Y/N Y/LN, it was on her TV as she was introduced to the world as the newest addition to the USWNT. She remembered thinking that having a new talented attacking midfielder could only be a good thing. But after 5 minutes in the interview, her excitement turned into dread and slight anger. She knew the second she saw the smug look on the new player’s face that she wasn’t going to like her. She reeked of cockiness despite her clear lack of experience and that only infuriated Alex. Plus, the fact that she was depicted by the media as “The soccer player the USWNT desperately needed” only seemed to add fuel to the fire. Maybe they weren’t playing to the best of their abilities lately, but that didn’t mean they desperately needed someone new. Alex wasn’t jealous of the new girl, only hurt over the fact that her - and her teammates - had worked their asses off to get to where they were today, only to have all their work thrown out the window because some random 25 yo girl posted videos of herself humiliating people in amateur friendly games. How does a girl who’s never played a game on a professional level - or in any club related team for that matter - become a professional soccer player overnight, worse even, how does she get propelled to a national team without being properly tested beforehand? Part of her hated Ashlyn for showing a compilation of the girl’s feats to Jill who, shockingly, immediately took it upon herself to make her a part of the National Team as soon as possible. But another part of her, a very small part though, felt that the girl could be an asset to the team, at least on the field.

When she first met her, Alex promised Kelley she’d tried to be nice, having shared with her best friend her growing dislike for the girl. But the second the midfielder spoke to her, hatred started bubbling up in her guts again. “Hey gorgeous.” She had greeted her, a smirk on her face, which only angered Alex, because who says that when they meet their future “co-worker” for the first time. She still shook her hand, introducing herself quickly before instantly establishing a distance between them both, which Y/n didn’t seem to mind, or notice. During the two weeks that followed Alex barely spoke to the girl, unless it was on the field or during trainings. Her other teammates though had all grown really close to her, which caused Alex to isolate herself sometimes since they all gravitated around the new midfielder as if she was the new star of their galaxy. Even her own girlies Allie and Kelley seemed to have fallen for her, too busy flirting with her sometimes to notice Alex, which the latter didn’t get at all. How could they be friends with her when she enjoyed toying with women’s feelings? In just a few days, Alex had seen Y/N flirt with every woman she came across. She’d lost count of how many women she’d seen walking out of Y/N’s room when morning would come. Maybe she was a bit jealous of the attention the girl was getting all the time, but only because she felt like she was left on the sidelines most of the time. The only person she could talk to was Servando. Granted he wasn’t physically with her most of the time, but he was always there to listen to her when she needed it, even though she spent most of her time complaining about Y/N.

When Orlando Pride offered Y/N a deal with them, Alex lost it, complaining to Kelley about it this time.

“I have to put up with her smug face and consistent flirting with everyone on the National Team, I don’t need that in my club as well.” Alex had yelled, her anger getting the best out of her.

“Chill, Al. You don’t even know if she’s gonna sign with Orlando. She said she received a lot of offers from different clubs.” Kelley answered her, plopping on the couch next to her.

“Well I hope she goes to play in Europe, where I don’t have to see her. I can’t stand her.” Alex shot angrily.

“Why though? I think she’s pretty cool, and super-hot.” Kelley replied absentmindedly, but regretted her words instantly as she saw the glare Alex sent her way. She chose to drop the subject knowing how Alex would get whenever her name was mentioned. It wasn’t until a few days later, at another press conference that Y/N announced that she would be signing with the Thorns, much to Sonnett and Tobin’s pleasure, who felt like they’d found a sister in Y/N. Alex was only happy because she wouldn’t have to see her that often hopefully.

For now though, she was going to have to be around her for a month, as the January camp was starting today, to prepare for the 2019 World Cup in France.

Alex was happy to see most of her best friends again, at least the ones she didn’t get to see in the past month, but was secretly hoping they wouldn’t be obsessing over Y/N like last time. She was one of the first ones to arrive to the hotel. The team soon started arriving in groups, depending on where they were playing the rest of the year. The first ones to arrive were the Royal girls and Alex was excited to see Kelley again, especially without Y/N being around to steal her away, to steal anyone away for that matter.

ALEX’S POINT OF VIEW

The fact that I was rooming with my best friend did help, maybe we’d get to hang out as much as we used to, at least I hoped so. I didn’t know exactly when Y/N arrived, but since Tobin and Christen knocked on our door to say hi, I assumed the new Portland player was here as well. It wasn’t until we made our way to dinner that I saw her. She was in the hotel lobby with the rest of the girls, probably waiting for Preath, Kelley and I so we could all go and eat out, to catch up. She was in the midst of a hug with Julie when her eyes fell on me or more like on us. A small smirk made its way to her face while I just rolled my eyes, seeing Kelley sprint towards the girl and jump into her arms, engulfing her in a hug. Dread overcame me as I got closer.

“Hey Alex.” was all she said as she saw me, no unwanted compliments or sweet names which made me frown slightly. She usually couldn’t help but use pet names with me, no matter how much I hated it, or her for the matter.

“Hi.” I answered, not wanting to be impolite.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw Kelley give her a thumbs up, making Y/N roll her eyes.

“What was that about?” I questioned Kelley. But got no real answer from her, she just shrugged her shoulders before we all started walking outside. I made a mental note to ask about it again later, not wanting to drop the subject, especially if it had something to do with me.

—

Dinner went surprisingly well, at least at first. I was more involved in the conversation than last time we all were together, as Y/N spent practically the whole lunch talking to Sonny, Megan and Ashlyn. But of course, she had to ruin everything again. In the middle of dinner, she got up as the girls started cheering her on, causing the rest of us to look her way. She walked towards the bar, with her typical smug grin on her face. She turned around sending a quick wink to Megan before she reached the bar.

“What’s going on?” Kelley asked as the cheers died down and everyone started looking intently in the direction of the bar.

“She said that the bartender was beautiful, so we dared her to get her number in less than 3 minutes.” Sonnett answered before adding. “Which I’m pretty sure is impossible.” She added before checking the timer on Megan’s phone, ready to yell LOSER the second it would reach three minutes.

Why she always had to be such a fuckboy was something I didn't get. All I knew was that it was pissing me off. It seemed like everything she did was angering me, and I had no control over it. I was hoping she’d get rejected but as I saw the flirtatious smile on the bartender’s face, I groaned earning a confused look from Kelley. Before we even had the time to process it, she was returning to the table, faintly smirking as Megan stopped the timer.

“Sooo?” Ashlyn started wiggling her eyebrows. “Did you get it?”

Y/N stepped closer to look at the timer before her smirk turned into a grin, nodding her head.

“And it only took 2 minutes.” She shot arrogantly, as she proceeded to show the new marked phone number on her forearm, with the name Leana written next to it.

“Nothing to be proud about.” I heard myself say before I could even process it causing everyone to look at me.

“Al-” Kelley started probably trying to get me to back off, but she instantly got interrupted by Y/N.

“Why not?” She shot at me, with a daring look on her face.

“Well I don’t think you should be proud to be a fuckboy.” I answered truthfully, tired of having to stay civil with her. Weirdly enough, that brought a smile to her face as the rest of the girls just glared at me.

“You should probably stop talking now Janice.” Allie said. Even she was siding with her apparently which only fuelled my anger more.

“No, I’m curious. What’s a fuckboy to you?” She asked resting her chin on her hand, as she looked at me intently, her trademark smirk not leaving her face even for a second. I looked at her, as if questioning if she actually wanted an answer, but she only looked at me like she was amused.

“Well to make it short, a fuckboy is someone who doesn’t respect women, and doesn’t care about their feelings. Someone who only cares about sex and is self-absorbed. Someone who doesn’t actually have a heart and doesn’t care how many she breaks. That’s literally you.” I answered proudly, sure of myself and that seemed to make her face fall slightly.

“Alex for fuck’s sake.” Ali shot, clearly angry at me now, her head falling into her hands. But I didn't back down, I was only speaking the truth.

“Well it’s good to know what you really think about me at last.” She said after some time. I was waiting for her to retort, deny or maybe proudly admitting that she enjoyed being a player but none of that came. Instead, she eventually got up, excused herself, telling the girls she’s meet them at the hotel, and got up before leaving without another word leaving me confused.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ashlyn shot, anger winning her over. They were all glaring at me, absolutely all of them, some were fuming more than the others. Even Christen who is the literal embodiment of peace, was looking at me with hatred.

“I’m only speaking the truth.” I retorted, shrugging my shoulders.

“No you’re not.” Tobin interfered. “You don’t even know her. You’ve never made an effort to actually talk to her. So how would you know if she respects women or not or if she has a heart.” Disappointment was written all over her face much to my surprise.

“I honestly didn’t peg you for the petty kind of person.” Sonnett finally shot before everyone focused on their lunch again, in silence this time, because of me.

—————

READER’S POINT OF VIEW

Heading back to the hotel, Alex’s words resonated in my mind. I knew she didn’t like me that much, I just had no idea why until today. It was stupid of me to ask Kelley what I could do to make her like me more, not enjoying the fact that there was tension between me and my teammate. But clearly, she had an opinion of me and didn’t want it to change, so why should I try anymore. I walked back to my room, taking a quick shower before I walked up to the roof, knowing I would find comfort staring at the stars, or more like I’d get lost in them and forget what happened. I sat down, leaning against the wall on the roof and lost myself in my thoughts. It did hurt a little that Alex would think that about me, because after all she never actually talked to me. We only ever said hi to each other, never speaking more than 2 words to each other, unless it was soccer related. Had she actually talked to me, she would know that I do respect women, that I care deeply about women, but yes, loving someone was something else. I had a complicated story, but she wasn’t interested enough to ask for it, or hear it for the matter. Maybe I should just keep my distance and stop trying to get her to like me eventually. I didn’t know how long I stayed here, lost in my thoughts. It wasn’t until I heard the roof door opening that I brought my attention back to my surroundings.

“There you are.” I heard a voice say, before seeing Kelley walk towards me, followed by Ashlyn and Ali.

“Hey guys.” I answered tiredly, actually exhausted.

“We’ve been calling you non-stop.” Ali pointed to my phone that was lying on the floor as she sat down next to me, a worried look on her face.

“Sorry I got lost in my thoughts I guess.” I replied apologetically, as Ali rested her head on my shoulder, the other two sitting in front of me.

“You know you shouldn’t pay attention to what Alex says. I don’t know why she feels this way about you but deep down she’s not a bad person.” Kelley defended making me scoff.

“Yeah allow me to doubt that.” I said before adding quickly. “I don’t care guys really. I’ve had worse things said to me. I just won’t try anymore that’s all.” I lied. Of course I have had worse things said to me, but on a deeper level, I did care about what the forward thought about me. And obviously Ali knew I did.

“You do care Y/N.” She pointed. “You told me you used to idolize her. So, it would be normal to be hurt by her behaviour.”

“Maybe, but I’m not a kid. I’ll get over it.” I replied before getting up, ready to go back to my room as it was late. I saw the sad looks they exchanged before they all followed me out of the roof, and back to our floor we were staying on.

Tiredly dragging my feet, I was surprised when I saw Alex standing in front of the room I shared with Sonny. She looked at me ready to speak but I walked past her, opening the door turning around at the last second.

“Let’s not pretend we’re ever going to like each other. You don’t like me, and honestly the feeling is mutual, so let’s just stay professional and only speak to each other when necessary. I honestly don’t give a shit about what you think about me. And trust me you don’t want to know what I think about you.” I shot angrily, not giving her the time to say anything, before I turned to the girls who were previously with me on the roof. “Goodnight ladies.” And with that I slammed the door in her face, not giving a shit anymore. She thought I didn’t care about my actions possibly hurting the women around me, I was going to show how much that statement would apply to her.

————

Alex’s point of view

Having the door slammed in my face hurt more than I liked to admit. I wasn’t used to her being angry and upset. She usually always had a smile on her lips, even though it always seemed arrogant. I turned to the three girls who looked at me as if to say “You brought that upon yourself.” And without saying anything I walked back to my room, heading straight for bed, the images of the anger on her face filling my head. She obviously wasn’t used to girls not going her way, and not falling for her instantly. I wasn’t going to be one of her groupies, that was for sure. Here I was, going to apologize for being an asshole, and she was the one who ended up acting like one.

“You know you could actually talk to her.” Kelley said as she walked in the room. “I’m sure you would like her.” She added and that caused a wholehearted laugh to escape me.

“Yeah I don’t think so.” I answered making her roll her eyes.

“I’m pretty sure you like her, but she just infuriates you on some level, the only question is why.” Kelley added as she slipped into bed to which I didn’t answer with anything, not wanting to elaborate any more than I had to. I didn’t like her. I was in a happy relationship with Servando. The new girl just got under my skin and there was nothing I could do to stop that.

To be continued...

A/N : That ends our first chapter. There’s a lot of angst planned for this whole story but eventually the relationship between R and Alex will evolve.

Next chapter, there’s trouble in paradise for Alex and Servando, and a looooot more of jealous Alex in store. (Maybe some jealous R as well)

I live off feedback so let me know if you liked it !

-Kat

[amethyst-noir]

Do you have any head canons for serious, hardcore Stephen angst? It seems so lacking in the fandom! Maybe, after Endgame (Tony lives AU) Stephen's mental health seriously deteriorates and after possibly 14000000 existences being in love with Tony (they're just acquaintances in their timeline), he uses a portal and Tony ends up with a delirious, crazed Doctor Strange in his workshop.

I’m horrible out of the loop concerning the latest WIPs in our corner of fandom - I’ve bookmarked at lot of them and now wait for the chance to read them. But it saddens me that there is a lack ofhardcore Stephen angst because that’s my favorite genre, along with h/c and a happy end.

I like your idea, anon! Very much! If you don’t mind I’ll keep it because now I kind of want to write a shortsnipped based on it. 💞

Back to your question - I have quitea few headcanons, actually. One of the ideas I had almost a year ago but put away because it’s sooo over the top goes as follows:

Stephen is a mental and physical wreck. The searching out of the one true timeline™ took a lot out of him and injured him on a soul-deep level and the fight against Thanos damaged his body pretty badly. The wounds have barely begun to heal but there is no rest forhim.

Thanos might be gone but now a lot of other, partly interdimensional threats, have woken up and started to pay attention to Earth. Stephen is the first in a very thin line of defense andhe’s ruining himself even further trying to stay on top of things but there is only so much even he can accomplish.

Wong - and the Rest of Kamar-Taj - do their best to help and support him but there’s no denying the fact that Stephen is the strongest and most inventive of all of them.

There has been no contact between Stephen and Tony since Thanos’ defeat since Tony exploded in his face afterwards because of pain and pent-up frustration. Stephen, of course, took itto heart and it hasn’t been helping his overall condition.

Tony, as soon as he had a little bit of time to process things and started thinking clearly again, felt bad for his harsh words but pride and the fact that he doesn’t know how to contact Stephen have kept them from meeting again so far.

A few months later “something” happens that’s so world-threatening that the current Avengers need all hands-on deck – including the retired Iron Man and all the magical help they can get. Stephen, of course, shows up himself. He’s not really himself and Tony is surprised at how quiet Stephen is and how he keeps in the background. The man barely manages to meet his eyes, for heaven’s sake, and only speaks up when directly spoken to. He’s distant and seems to be barely there. Tony is disappointed and forced to acknowledge that he missed Stephen’s particular kind of snark in his life and that maybe he was a little bit too harsh right after the dust hadn’t even settled on the battlefield.

They play hide-and-seek for a while because Stephen always vanishes the moment he can and seems to avoid Tony atall costs. Tony’s words have hurt him deeply, mostly because he knows that they are all true. He played with Infinity Stones and semi-gods, he doomed half the universe to death for 5 years and decades of grueling recovery now. He came out of 14.000.605 timelines deeply in love with Tony but every time he looks at him he’s reminded about what he did and how Tony condemned him for it. He half expects Tony to bring it up again, completely missing the signs that Tony wantsto talk to him one equal to another to try to sort through his complex mess of emotions and that there is not much if any anger left in him.

Tony realizes that Stephen isn’t well but before he can hunt the man down and ask questions the situation escalates into some big battle and Stephen uses most of his already very depleted reserves to help as best as he can. Nobody notices but FRIDAY, who isput on “watch the wizard” duty alerts Tony that Stephen’s life signs are slipping into the danger zone.

Tony searches for but doesn’t find Stephen, who has created a portal into the enemy’s lair to defeat the evil at its root. He knows that he’ll probably won’t return but really? He hasn’t got much time left anyway. Magic is burning up his body at an alarming rate and this is a good way to go out.

Tony, of course, finds the portal and follows Stephen into another dimension before he can talk himself out of it. He finds Stephen engaged with the enemy - Stephen isn’t holding back because he knows that this will be his last battle and so he can throw everything at that thing without thinking about keeping himself safe.

The display of sheer power is amazing and Tony, who comes in right in the middle, realizes just how insanely strong Stephen is. Despite that he swoops in to help Stephen. They work together flawlessly, just like they did on Titan, and manage to defeat theirenemy.

Stephen collapses immediately afterwards and so does the portal home. Now Tony is trapped in another dimension with an unconscious, possible dying, Stephen and no way home.

Tony manages to stabilize Stephen and is horrified when his scans reveal just how bad Stephen’s overall state of health is. He remembers the way Stephen hid from him and how he didn’t even manage to look into Tony’s eyes and fears that he’s part of the problem. He barely remembers what he screamed at Stephen back while Stephen took his words to heart and flagellated himself daily with them.

When Stephen finally sort-of wakes up he’s confused and panics when he sees Tony. It takes Tony a while to calm him down enough to explain the situation but Stephen’s too weak now to conjure a portal home. Tony swallows down the bitter words that want to escape and tells Stephen to rest and gather his strength.

“Just one more time,” he promises Stephen. “And then you can rest and recover.”

Stephen doesn’t say anything to that but his whole face makes it clear that there won’t be any rest for him until he drops dead. But he closes his eyes, turns his head away and pretends to fall asleep before Tony can react. Tony doesn’t say anything on the off-chance that Stephen really fell asleep. But he scoots just a little bit closer and retracts his armor fully so that their bodies can touch.

Stephen flinches a little bit, which breaks Tony’s heart, but he doesn’t move away. He falls into an exhausted sleep shortly afterwards and wakes up with Tony’s hand on his arm and the man sleeping. When he tries to extract himself Tony wakes up.

Stephen panics and moves away. He refuses any help and forces himself to his knees, conjuring a portal. “Here. A way home for you.” Go and leave me alone, is left unspoken but Tony hears it anyway. “I don’t know how long I can hold it open.” Stephen’s alreadyshowing signs of collapsing again and Tony is at his side, holding him upright, in a heartbeat.

“Not without you.”

But Stephen’s already lost consciousness again. Tony gathers all his courage and carries him through the collapsing portal back to Earth. His plan is to give Stephen over into Wong’s safe-keeping - and yell at the man for not taking better care of Stephen - but instead of the expected battlefield he finds himself back in the Sanctum. Stephen conjured a portal to his home in his pain and fear. The Cloak leavesStephen’s shoulders to show Tony the way to Stephen’s bedroom and Tony’s stuck with Stephensitting duty until someone else shows up.

There’s no way he’s letting Stephen go now, he realizes while he waits for Wong to come back and Stephen to wake up. He only has to make Stephen understand that he doesn’t hate him and that he’s sorry for what he said back then.

Eventually, Wong shows up and Tonydiscovers just what a wreck Stephen really is. Wong sees how Tony looks at Stephen and his anger towards Tony vanishes completely when Tony tells him about what they went through.

Over the next few days and weeks, while Stephen is mostly sleeping and not really coherent when he’s awake, Wong and Tony devise plans on how to make Stephen’s burden lighter. Stephen needs someone to take care of him in a way Wong simply can’t and Tony loves nothing more than to take care of people while Stephen needs someone to take care of him. Someone who will make him his number one priority in life.

Tony can be that person, Wong realizes to his delight. No, Stephen doesn’t get a vote, they both decide, because he’s an idiot who’ll rather die than ask for help. Literally.

When Stephen’s finally awake enough to get what’s going on he has to discover that Tony fucking Stark more or less moved into the bedroom next to his and that he’s now benched from his duties as Sorcerer Supreme until Wong finds him fit for duty again.

He forgets all about being pissed because Tony proceeds to heap tons of attention on him and it quickly becomesclear just how compatible the two of them are. Tony tells Stephen over and over again how sorry he is and that he didn’t mean the things he said back then, that he was hurting and exhausted and begs for Stephen’s forgiveness on a daily basis while showing him casual affection that gradually becomes more and more intimate.

Stephen slowly begins to heal but the road to full recovery - or as full as he’s capable of - will be long. He still can’t quite believe that Tony will never leave, no matter what the man himself says.

Tony is by now just as much in love with Stephen as Stephen is with him. He doesn’t say anything because he realizes that Stephen’s not ready to hear and believe it yet. So he stays, takes care of Stephen and tries to show him that he’s worthy of love and affection.

The whole story ends when they finally share their first kiss after weeks if not months of mutual pining and slow recovery, with Stephen in Tony’s arms. Where he belongs.

💫

I think it’s crystal clear why I never wrote the actual fic version of this thing, right? 🤣 But hey, you wanted angst, anon, and angst you shall have…

[creative-classpect]

Hey Kess! Big fan and glad to see you’re back, I haven’t been on this website in almost a year and last time I was you were a lord of rage, mind if I ask what happened? I don’t want to me noisy just curious

I think I tried to not talk about it much, but for a very long time I felt like I was under a lot of pressure. I was just some teenager with a lot of unsorted shit in my head and trauma and emotions I really didn’t know how to handle or what to do with them and I channeled a lot of that into my time here. And it wasn’t all bad!!!! It really wasn’t!!! But the good things aren’t what made me change in anyway. So yeah, I was compulsively working and writing and fixating on all of this stuff I didn’t allow myself to unwind and get rid of any tension, I was so high strung and destroying myself. Like that one phrase “All 7 of the deadly sins” but not in a cool hip fun way, but in a bad and self destructive way, it sucked and I sucked

And not to sound like an ingrate or something, but the relative popularity and success I got from here only made that worse. Like I was, to be honest, kind of a shitty person working themselves too hard and getting attention or praise I really didn’t feel like I deserved but I also needed, giving me wild swings in pride and imposter syndrome. It compounded into this vitriol and disdain, like I hated this project and grew sick of it and myself and just all of it. But I still loved it and fixated, you know? Over time I just got burnt the hell out from everything and I decided to end on a super high note and that’s when I had that mini marathon of posting just sooo much stuff and decided I was done right then and there. To be honest I didn’t think I would ever come back or be seen from again.

So I left this behind for maybe a year, year and a half? And just enjoyed being by myself and living quietly and having a smaller life, it was very nice! And it is very nice, I am so so much happier and I’m at a better place in life.

I only stopped in occasionally, like I do now. I needed time for myself, to vent off steam and to see who I was underneath all this shit. It took some time to even feel comfortable talking about homestuck and studf again, like it was really difficult to be around my friends talking about homestuck and classpects or whatever, it really just sucked. I honestly thought my time here was done forever and in a way I guess it still really is.

But anyways, I took my time, I got my space, I got my bearings straight, and I branched out and grew up. I fixed my shitty fucking self problems and that crap I’m just not proud about. I learned to be more calm and happy and peaceful and more full of love and comfort.

I don’t vibe with Rage like I used to. It was a fire that got me through stuff, but in the end it burned me out. All that hate and rage and passion and energy was just. Fuel and poison. And I’m done with it.

A few months back my friends were reclasspecting themselves and stuff and I was really anxious about it but I jumped in and started looking at myself and Heir of Blood was really just kind obvious

And that really brings us to here? I guess? This blog isn’t my whole life anymore, but I still have an interest and soft spot for it, but I’m never really “coming back”, besides some fun and casual asks or posts when I have ideas or the spirit moves me

-

I know this confessional is late and maybe should have never seen the light of day, but nobody ever really bothered to ask me besides some good friends in private so it’s all coming out now at 5:41 am

[enchantedtomeetmynextmistake13]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, FRIENDS

and happy lgbt selfie night- y’all are so gorgeous, and seeing all your faces makes me so happy (but it doesn’t turn back to sad)

So, I’m not really out to people, sooo this is me coming out to the World Wide Web?? I guess?? And Tay (hi, tay- if you’re reading this)

Um..yeah, so, happy pride- coming from your friendly local (or maybe not so local) gender-questioning panromantic asexual

that’s a mouthful, wowza

I’ve never said all that- not stringed together anyway- so I guess that’s the whole point of pride, but I just want to say to anybody questioning anything right now, even if it isn’t represented, or if it’s invalidated by people who don’t understand, or even if you’re unsure about it yourself or you feel like you’re the only one who feels that way or identifies the way you do- I want you all to know that you’re lovely and valid and worthy, and no matter how invisible you feel and isolated you feel, that YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE OF YOU, AND BABY, THAT’S THE FUN OF YOU 🥂

And thanks Tay, for this song, for being you, and for showing me so many of us that being ourselves, unapologetically and completely ourselves, truly is the fun of us 💗

Also, peep my pansexual flag inspired eyeshadow- I’m lowkey proud of it

@swiftiesofcolor