#Actually feels like autumn today. Wish it really was

[flowersforfrancis]

[reiderwriter]

🌞 Just Hanging Out 🌞

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Genre: Fluff, suggestive MINORS DNI 18+

WC: 3k

Summary: To kick off your vacation, you find yourself at Rossi's mansion with your team for a big summer barbeque. A hammock in the garden catches your eye, and you enlist Reid to help you have some fun in the sun.

Warnings: reader is a tease, shy Spencer, sexual arousal (M and F) no physical smut (god I wish we still used the citrus system).

A/N: Here's my second entry to @imagining-in-the-margins CM Summer Sunshine Fic Challenge! Thanks to everyone who helped my pick the plot for this one :) I was also intending for this to be a reply to one of my requests for more BAU reader, but unfortunately tumblr deleted that request so 🤡 I'm tagging the account below anyways, and I have three more BAU reader fics coming in the next two weeks-ish, including my new series That's What You Get, so I hope you like this fic and be sure to look out for the others! Enjoy~

Here's my masterlist and my requests are open!

It was mid-August, and thankfully, the serial killers of America had given up crime for one week of the year to allow you to enjoy some much needed vacation time. The entire team had been put on annual leave, and you were determined to enjoy it to the absolute capacity of your ability.

Despite being together year-round, you actually enjoyed the company of your coworkers, so when Rossi announced he was planning a summer barbeque at his place to kick off your vacation time, you were ecstatic. If Rossi’s barbecuing skills were anything like his pasta making skills, you were expecting to eat yourself into a food coma and not wake up for the next seven days.

“Not a single one of you will touch this grill, stand within a 1 foot radius of this grill or even dare to look at this grill, so help me God, are we understood?” Rossi announced as soon as you arrived, the last of the BAU team to gather in his self-proclaimed mansion. The gardens were beautiful, and the kids were already running riot on the slip and slide that he had set up for them, screaming and giggling in delight.

“Trust me, you’re not getting me near that thing today, Rossi,” you laugh as you pour yourself a glass of wine from the refreshments table. “Last time I was anywhere near a grill I almost died.”

“I don’t remember encountering any unsubs who used grills as their weapon of choice,” JJ laughed at you as she held out her own glass and you gladly filled it for her.

“That’s because it wasn’t on a case, it was a family barbeque when I was 17 and my grandfather thought I should learn some ‘practical skills,’” you shot a grin at her as she rolled her eyes at you and walked away.

You grabbed your glass and looked for somewhere to perch yourself while you took in the sun. Morgan and Prentiss had already grabbed the two sun-loungers on the patio and were both sitting shirtless (with a bikini top on in Prentiss’s case) taking in as much sun as they could. Garcia was similarly sprawled on the deck sofa, and JJ joined her their after grabbing her refreshment, Will stood by the edge of the deck watching over the kids. Hotch had the amazing foresight to bring his own camping chair, and was set up similarly with one eye on Jack and the other on a book in his hand.

And just where you were expecting him, Spencer Reid was stood awkwardly at the edge of the house, in the only spot of shade he could find, leaning slightly against the door, and squinting into the sun.

“Rossi, you got any other chairs I can grab for me and Reid?” you called out to your host.

“There should be some over by the shed, they might need a bit of a dusting down though.”

“Come on pretty boy, you can’t just be standing all day, you’re going to make me feel tired just watching you,” you laughed up at him and caught the flush of his cheeks as he finally caught that you meant him to follow you.

“I’m really fine here over in the shade, I don’t do too great in the sun, anyways. More of an autumnal person, really…”

“I’d feel bad seeing you stand all day, and besides, what if I need a big, strong man to help me carry my chair over?” As he gaped his mouth open and closed looking for a retort, you felt the small flash of victory spread warm your chest. It wasn’t that you liked messing with Reid, it’s that he was an easy target and actually you loved it.

Having joined the team only the year prior, you’d quickly found the genius incredibly endearing, loving to listen to his little monologues about whatever topic had popped into his head that day, often earning groans from your other colleagues as you encouraged him to keep going.

You’d discovered your love of making him squirm a few months into the job, when you had to interrogate a submissive partner of an unsub together. After theorising that the submissive personality had a thing for women who looked like you, especially ones that were pretty dominant and controlling, you’d decided to give him what he wanted. You’d popped the top button, walked into the room and given him your best shot before having to re-strategize.

“What if we send Reid in there with her?” Morgan was the one to suggest, “Have him act a bit touchy, show him something he’s missing out on. We already tried giving him what he wanted, let’s see how he reacts to someone he doesn’t view as a threat getting everything he thinks he’s entitled to.”

It was a good guess, and it worked. You’d walked into the room, and let Reid start asking the questions. He’d gently laid a hand on your thigh, just high enough for the suspect to notice, and you’d done nothing but quietly whisper directly into his ear, watching the entire time to see how the man in front of you would react. He’d cracked in ten minutes and started spewing misogynistic drivel, so angry that he accidentally confessed to the crime and gave away his partner’s location.

It seemed Reid had cracked just a bit too. He’d avoided eye-contact with you for an entire week after that, and whenever he talked to you in that time, it was like his brain short-circuited. You’d bought a genius with an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory to his knees with a few whispers in his ear, and you loved the rush of power you felt remembering it. The memory of his strong hand on your thigh did nothing to quell your growing attraction towards the man.

“If you wanted someone big and strong, you should’ve asked Morgan,” Reid snapped you out of your thoughts as he diligently followed you in the direction Rossi had pointed. It was a pretty secluded spot in the garden, a little bit away from the action and you were glad to be out of earshot so you could begin your teasing of the Good Doctor.

“I’m sure you’re big and strong in certain places, Spencer,” you smiled at him, and began looking at the chairs.

You spotted it in the corner, then, the perfect tool for your torment. It seemed relatively new, barely used but still pretty sturdy, and you knew this was it.

“Hey, Rossi, what about this hammock in the corner, can I set this up, too?” you shouted back over to the group and grinned up at Reid.

“Do you have a death wish? Because if so, go ahead and tangle with that devil.” Rossi shouted back, not even looking up from the miriad of sausages and burgers he was working on.

“That sounds like a challenge to me, Doc.” You say and you start pulling it out into the sunlight, Reid steps behind you sighing in defeat. He knew that once you had your mind set on something, you were pretty stubborn about completing it.

“Okay, can you give me a boost?” The bed of the hammock fell to about your chest height, and whilst you knew you were probably able to climb in by yourself, you were wearing a particularly short sundress, and as much as you teased Reid, you didn’t exactly want to give the rest of your team and their families an eyeful.

“You want me to try to lift you into this thing?” Reid squeaked out, a look of confusion passing over his features.

“Yeah, just grab my hips and give me a boost and I’ll swing my legs over and straddle it. Then we can see what’s it's like.” He moved cautiously up behind you, letting his hands graze your waist.

“Reid, you’re going to have to hold me a bit tighter than that if we’re actually going to get anywhere.” You placed your hands over his and pushed his grip down stronger; you could practically hear him gulp from behind you. He pushed you up, and you almost had it, but you couldn’t quite pull yourself up and into it.

After a few attempts, you realised it wasn’t going to work. Reluctantly pulling yourself out of Reid’s grip, you turned to face him.

“New plan, you get in first and pull me up.”

“What? I don’t want to go anywhere near that thing, didn’t you hear what Rossi said?”

“Come on Reid, just this once, for me? We have to try at least!” you pouted up at him now with pleading eyes, hoping that you wouldn’t have to resort to batting your eyelashes at him to get him to agree.

“One attempt, and then I’m grabbing a normal chair and leaving, okay?” He negotiated, but you didn’t care and excitedly wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him in for a hug.

“Yay, thank you! I love you, Reid, you know that?” you pulled back slightly to deliver that last line, your arms still around his neck, watching the redness spread upto his cheeks.

He mumbled a quick whatever and pulled away to begin his attempts.

Perhaps it was his few extra inches of height or spindly frame, but Reid managed to climb up quite easily, not even rocking the hammock that much in his ascent.

He sat up pretty steadily, and you lifted your arms to him, and that’s when it all started going wrong. You’re combined weight wasn’t enough to break the hammock, but it was enough to set it off into an unsteady rocking that made your stomach lurch slightly. You swung your leg as best you could over Reid’s, already in the hammock, and as soon as you found some purchase there, he lowered one hand to pull your lower body up as well.

It was just unfortunate that the place his hand landed was directly over your ass, and you let out a sharp gasp as he grabbed it tightly and hauled you up to sit directly over him, chest to chest, practically straddling his entire body in the cramped space of the hammock bed.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I meant to grab your hip.” He tried to let go of you and push his hands up where you could see them, but the sudden movement made the hammock lurch dangerously so you snapped your hand over his and forced them back to their previous position.

“No sudden movements, Spencer, I don’t particularly want to be the butt of all jokes for the next year if we fall out of this thing.” You panicked slightly and squirmed a little in your position, trying to explore your range of movement.

“How are we going to get out of this if we can’t move?” he shot back at you, a look of mild discomfort on his face, and an I-told-you-so begging to escape his lips.

“If you just give me a minute to explore our options, maybe I would be able to figure that out.”

“If you keep squirming like that we’re going to have more problems than just how to get down,” he huffed under his breath, but he was so close that it was impossible for you to miss it.

It was your turn to blush now, as you caught his insinuation. With his hand firmly on your ass, and your legs either side of his, you could feel the entire length of his body below you. Each squirm you made the dampness between your legs pool a little bit more and then you in-turn squirmed even more in a vicious cycle.

After a few minutes, there was no denying that the thing prodding your core was Spencer’s sizable… appendage.

“Shit, Y/N, I’m sorry, it’s just a natural reaction,” he groaned out from below you when he realised you could feel it too, and you’d never heard anything so beautiful as the moans he was accidentally vocalising.

“It’s my fault, I’m sorry for being so stubborn about this. Let me see if I can figure something else out,” you cautiously slid your hands up his chest, and he screwed his eyes shut. Pushing against his shoulders, you slowly pulled yourself up to a seated position, doing your best to not rock the hammock too much. The new position did nothing to dampen the friction the two of you were feeling, and you knew that you were a few seconds away from a point of no return. Your hips bucked slightly against him against your will, and you really hoped he hadn’t noticed that was totally not to the benefit of you getting out of the hammock.

You looked down to the ground so you could see how far the descent would be, and if you’d have to call for backup anytime soon. Luckily you thought you’d be able to make it if you just swung your legs over the side and got out as quickly as possible, but fate had other plans.

“Spencer, Y/N what are you two doing over here?” came Emily’s voice from behind you. Spencer’s eyes shot open and he pulled his head up slightly to look at her. However, his movement had rocked the hammock a little bit harder than before, so he had to grab your hip to steady the two of you, pushing you further down into him. You did your best to stifle the moan, biting down hard on your tongue as you did so.

“Oh you know, just hanging out,” he managed to get out in reply, his voice notably higher than it usually was.

“You sure you guys don’t need any help? That doesn’t look like the safest of chairs.” Emily’s questioning stare never lifted and you knew that if she caught wind of what was actually going on, you wouldn’t be able to look her in the eye for an entire year. You couldn’t accept the help.

“Yeah, we were just going to climb down in a second, we’re just checking to see how… sturdy it is right now.”

“Sturdy. Right. Well, Rossi said the food would be ready to start serving in a few minutes and asked me to call you guys over.”

“We’ll be right there, thanks Emily.” You smiled at her and she made to walk away, a suspicious look still on her face.

“What do you mean we’ll be right there, I can’t go over there like this!” Spencer whisper yelled into your ears.

“What else was I supposed to say to get her to go away,” you whisper yelled back. You ran a free hand through your hair, and shifted again, your legs beginning to cramp up a little in the awkward position.

“Okay you get down, I’ll make a break for the bathroom, say all this moving around made me need to pee or something, and then we meet up again on the patio and pretend this never happened?” he said and you nodded quickly.

You began to lift your body weight up and remove your legs from the tangle you were stuck in, and that’s when the hammock reared it’s ugly head for the final time. As you lifted your leg slowly, you accidedntally got your foot stuck in the side of the fabric, and pinned there but still moving, the hammock toppled and spat both of you out unceremoniously.

Reid landed ontop of you with a hard thud. You let out a sweet curse, just as Reid pushed his body weight onto his hands, taking some of the pressure off of you after the fall. You stared up into his eyes as you realised you’d found yourself in yet another compromising situation and you deepeded to a scarlet red as you realised your sundress had blown up completely in your descent, and he was now neatly nestled in between your legs, with your damp underwear on display for him.

Looking down at you, he took a beat too long to react, and you squirmed under his gaze, feeling appropriately trapped, before he sprung up and offered you a hand up.

You took his hand and rearranged your dress, thankful that the smell of the food had distracted everyone from your embarrassing fall.

“Okay, we’re out.” You were flustered and you didn’t know what else to say.

“Yep, that was certainly one way to do it,” Reid replied, as you avoided his gaze. You wrapped your arms around yourself, and he made to do so similarly, trying his best to rearrange himself so the bulge in his pants wasn’t so noticeable.

“You should get to the bathroom.”

“You should get to the food.” He retorted and you finally made to move, but stopped yourself turning around quickly to face the man again.

“Before I go,” you said and you pushed yourself up on your tiptoes and pressed a kiss into his mouth, feeling as giddy as a teenager braving her first kiss. You turned away just as fast and made your way back to the party, leaving a flustered and spluttering Reid behind as you made a beeline for the food.

“So, what’d you think of the hammock?” Rossi asked you as you began loading your plate up. You put on your best poker face and begged noone had noticed anything out of the ordinary.

“You were right. That thing is dangerous,” was your only response, and you retreated into the corner to finish your food. You sat there waiting eagerly for Reid to return, not just so you could be in his presence again and see how he was reacting to your kiss, but also so you could get the image of him dealing with his situation out of your mind.

It seemed that being a tease and working him up hadn’t quite ended so well for you that day.

You blamed the hammock.

---------------------------------------------------

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[pitchsidestories]

Welcome to New York II Ali Krieger x Reader

"Everybody here was someone else before And you can want who you want Boys and boys and girls and girls." Welcome To New York, Taylor Swift

masterlist I word count: 2901

The first thing you thought as you spotted Ali Krieger standing on the steps of the Metropolitan Museum was that this could have been a scene from a romantic comedy. A warm smile played on the defender’s lips while she had two cups of coffees in her hands:” Hi.” “Hi. Is this one for me or do you just need a lot of caffeine today”, you asked her teasingly.

Amused she shook her head: “No, the second one is for you. Ocean and Sloane let me sleep long enough today.” “Oh, lucky for me. Thank you so much.”, you answered grateful for her thoughtfulness. Still smiling Ali handed you your coffee: “You’re welcome.” Nervously you put a string of your hair behind your ear: “I hope you didn’t wait too long for me.” As much as you loved this city, the public transport was against you coming punctually to your coffee date with the equally busy soccer player today. Kindly she waved at you:” No, I didn’t. Do you want to keep standing here or walk around?” “Let’s walk around a bit.”, you decided.

Side by side you started walking, clearing her throat Ali admitted with a shy grin: “Alright. To be honest, I’m so glad Jason Sudeikis introduced us to each other at my last league game party.” “Oh, me too. Trust me. It was nice to get a look inside a soccer team.”, you agreed with her. Curiously the older woman looked at you:” As inspiration for your upcoming leading role in the female ted lasso spin off?” “You can never have enough inspiration. And to be honest, I’m a bit of a perfectionist, so I want to portray my role as realistically as possible.”, you declared slightly blushing.

Playfully the defender pouted: “Oh, and I hoped you were really interested in me as a person and not only in the soccer player part of my personality.” “Not at all. I think the soccer player part is impressive but it’s not the most interesting part about you.”, you told her.   “Oh really?” The blush on your cheeks intensified: “Maybe your good looks were also a part of it.” “And the glasses of wine we shared.", she winked at you. This comment made you chuckle:” I can only say that they definitely kept the conversation going.”

“Not only that.”, Ali added grinning hinting at what happened as the night turned over into the early morning, the time in which the never sleeping city was buzzing with life and excitement and the sexual attraction between you could not been denied any longer. “Ali!”

“What? It’s true.”, the football player shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. You scoffed: “You’re terrible.” “Yes, but you don’t mind it.”, she observed. Laughing you confessed: “Actually, I kinda like it.” “I can tell.”, Ali nodded satisfied. “I’m sorry.” “Don’t be.”, the defender whispered.  Elegantly you changed the topic: “It’s really beautiful today. The weather is perfect.”

Ali let her gaze wander over the autumnal scenery of the Central Park. The yellowing leaves were contrasting against the blue sky. “Agreed. New York in fall is stunning.“, she smiled. “It is.“, you agreed, taking in the crisp air. “Have you always lived in New York?“, Ali asked, genuine curiosity on her face. You shook your had and admitted; “Actually, no.“ The football players eyebrows knotted together; “No?“ With a sigh, your gaze dropped down to the fallen leaves on the ground; “Although I wished…“ “Tell me about it…“, Ali implored.

“Actually, I grew up in a conservative midwestern town.“, you started to explain. The defender grimaced, understanding the implication; “Oh. I’m sorry.“ “So coming to New York as a young adult did feel liberating in every way.“, you continued with a sad smile. Ali sipped on her coffee; “You know, a lot of my team mates who are queer had similar experiences.“ “Similar to some of my acting friends.“, you added. Ali shrugged with a sigh; “I’m always glad to hear when queer people from difficult places found a safe space.“

Nervously turning the cup in your hand, you asked; “You came out quite late to the public too, right?“ “Yes, that’s true. I thought it’s no one’s business but mine.“, she replied, nodding in thought. “What made you change your mind about it?“ “I realized that I can be of better use as a role model.“, she answered nonchalantly. You bit your lip, moved by revelation; “That’s very brave of you.“ Ali gave you a wry smile; “Thank you. But that wasn’t an easy decision for me either.“ “No, I understand that. Being queer wasn’t something that people in the movie industry liked to see a few years ago… sometimes even now.“, you told her. “I’m sorry.“ You shook your head; “It’s fine, really.“ “I guess we all have our struggles.“, the defender thought out lout. “Yes, we do.“

You were grateful when Ali finally offered; “Do you want to change the topic?“ Smiling, you gave her a soft nod to leave that topic behind; “Yes, please. I don’t want to ruin the mood during our little coffee date.“ “You couldn’t. I really enjoy talking to you.“, Ali said, carefully taking your hand into hers. “Same.“ „You do?“ “Yes, even though I told you about my sad little childhood.“, you laughed, your cheeks turning slightly pink as you wondered if you had overshared. But the smile on Alis face made that thought immediately disappear; “I appreciate it. Really. I’m glad you shared it.“

“That means a lot. So, what about you? Are you excited for the play offs?”, you asked her. The eyes of the defender lit up:” Yes, absolutely. I’m happy about every game I get to play.” “This must feel very special.”, you said, her excitement was infecting you too. “It is. If you’d like to get some more inspiration you could come.”, she offered you without hesitation.

Delighted you replied:” To your game? I’d love that.” “I’ll make sure you get some tickets.”, Ali continued happily. “Thank you.” The football player could not stop smiling: “You’re welcome.” For a second you looked worried:” You don’t think Ashlyn would mind, right?” “She won’t. Trust me.”, she reassured you quickly. Relieved you sighed:” Okay. Good.” Don’t worry about it. This is over.”, Ali confirmed. With a remark you tried to lighten up the mood again:” Yes, you made that very clear when you kissed me at the doorstep after your party.” “You asked about her.” “Sorry, I’m an idiot.”, you hid your face in her hands.  Softly the football player disagreed with you: “No, you’re not.” “So that means I can kiss you? This time without alcohol breath?”, hopeful you looked up to her.  

Amused Ali glanced at you:“You can always kiss me. Doesn’t matter if it’s on parties or in the Central Park.” “Although, I’d argue that this here is way more romantic.”, you chuckled.  Expectantly she threw a look at you:” You can argue all you want but I’d rather you just kiss me.” “As you wish.”, you said before your lips met her who were waiting for that to happen since they departed from another.

After the training ended for the Gotham players Kristie let out an excited shriek: ”Oh my god, Ali ! I’m so jealous!” Confused the captain looked at her before the blonde showed her an article on her phone which contained photos of Ali and her new girlfriend kissing romantically in the Central Park. Laughing Kelley intervened:” Jealous about the fact that they had a romantic moment in the autumnal Central Park or that she made it into the news with that?” “Actually.. both.”, Kristie admitted. 

Surprised the dark-haired defender mumbled:” Oh no, they wrote about us.” “What’s wrong? It’s a cute photo.”, Kelley furrowed her eyebrows. Enthusiastically Kristie reminded the older player: “Exactly and you’re allowed to have fun, Ali. You’re in your lemonade era, remember?” “Still, I wasn’t ready to go public with that yet. And I don’t know if she was either.”, Ali bit her lip.  Empathetic Kelley put an arm around her shoulder:” I get that too.” “I need to call her.”, the captain announced.

You were on set, spending your lunch break with the other actors, when you noticed your phone ringing. Seeing Alis name appear on the display made your heart jump unexpectedly. Happily you took the call; “Ali, Hi.“ “Hi.“, she replied. The tone of her voice made you frown; “What’s wrong? You sound a bit upset.“ The football player sighed as if to brace herself; “Have you seen the article yet?“

You grabbed your coat and your bag and hurried away from the other actors, ignoring Jason Sudeikis’ sceptical glance; “Uhm no. What article? We were busy filming the new tv episodes.“ “They photographed as kissing.“, she came straight to the point. You froze in place; “Wait. What?“ “I’m sorry.“ Your thoughts began racing, bringing you back to how exhilarated you felt during your date. Even though Ali couldn’t see you, you still shook your head; “No, I’m sorry. If I hadn’t kissed you there… this article would not exist.“ “I don’t regret the kiss… really.“, the defender replied with determination in her voice. “But you wish to have been private a little longer, right? Which is understandable considering your divorce is still fresh…“, you were thinking out loud.

Ali confirmed your thoughts; “Actually, yes. How do you feel about it?“ You let a few seconds pass before admitting; “It feels very early.“ “I know.“ “But you should know that I’m serious with you.“, you added truthfully. Ali let out a small breath, relieved; “Me too. I want this.“ Your smile was back in place; “Jason gifted me an Ali Krieger Fan club - shirt. Should I wear it to one of your games or would this be too much?“ “Please do it. If they won’t let us have our privacy, we can at least have some fun with them.“ You could basically hear Ali grinning through the phone. “Exactly what I thought too.“ Ali laughed; “I like that. You get me.“

“So, I’ll see you at the stadium? Will Sloane and Ocean be there too?“, you asked. You had the chance to meet Alis kids briefly for a few times and they had already won your heart, so you got even more excited when you heard Ali say; “Yes.“ “Great. Because I already miss them while being away on the set.“ “I’m sure they’re happy to see you again too.“, Ali said, her voice soft. “And I miss you too of course.“, you added quickly. “I do hope that!“, the defender teased. “So much.“, you admitted and with a quick glance on your watch, you ended the call; “Okay, break is over. I’ll call you back tonight.“ “Talk to you later.“

The team of Gotham FC was buzzing with excitement as they stepped on the field in Portland. If the players won, this game they would make it to the final. Grinning Lynn Williams touched the shoulder of her captain: “I spotted your girl, Ali!” “Really?”, Ali wanted to know from the forward, trying to discover your face in the crowd at Providence Park.  Equally thrilled Kristie pointed to the direction where you were standing: “Over there.” “Oh. She’s wearing the shirt.”, the defender observed with a hint of proudness in her voice.

Amused Kelley remarked: “Not subtle at all.” “It’s not supposed to be.”, Ali told her. A bright smile was on Kristie’s lips:“I love it, I’m obsessed.”  “Of course, you like that, Kristie.”, Kelley threw in unsurprised. Clearing her throat Lynn drew all the attention on her:” Yeah, so that’s all cute and sweet but we’ve a game to win girls.” “Yes. We got to focus on that.”, Ali agreed with the forward. Gotham’s number 5 nodded along:” Yes, we’re making sure that Ali has another game to play before her retirement.” 

“What retirement? With those many games, I guess you can’t really call it retirement yet.”, their captain corrected her smiling. Winking Kelley reminded the dark - haired player: “Yes, but it’s one game before the final.” “And I’d love to get to the final, girls.”, with a cheeky grin Ali glanced at each of their teammates to give them that extra motivation tonight.

The game was really close, and they had to went into overtime but thanks to Katie Stengels goal in the 107’ minute against the Portland Thorns, they won this important match and would make it to the Final. After the referee blew the final whistle, Kelley cheered loudly:” She’s not done yet!” “I’m not leaving without a trophy!”, Ali shouted happily. Ecstatic Kristie who played her first minutes after her injury in today’s game screamed: “We won, bitches!” “Who are you calling a bitch?”, Ali threw an eyebrow up at the blonde before the two and Kelley started to dance out their feelings. The words to describe their emotions would be found later, now was the time to just be in the moment and celebrate.

Meanwhile Sloane made her way through the soccer players:” Mummy!” “No more b-words here, Mewis!, Ali warned her fellow teammate before pulling her daughter into a hug, Hi, baby.”

“Okay, but your new girlfriend has a nice ass.“, Kristie commented with a smirk, disregarding Alis warning, while Sloane jumped into her mums arms; “You won!“ “Mewis!“, Ali yelled before turning back to her daughter and agreed with a much softer voice; “Yes, we won. That means mum has to play one more game.“ “That’s okay. Love to see you play. Ocean was such a baby though. He fell asleep in her arms.“, Sloane rolled her big brown eyes and pointed in your direction where her little brother was sleeping in your arms. With a laugh, Ali explained to her daughter: “He is still small.“ “Yes. I’ll forgive him that.“, Sloane nodded. Alis eyes met yours and you both had to suppress a laugh.

Slowly you bridged the few steps between you two; “Hi. Sorry, someone is very sleepy. As is the big one who pretends she’s wide awake.“ You nodded first into Oceans, then into Sloanes direction. Ali put Sloane down who pressed into her leg with a yawn. “Let me take him.“, Ali offered, holding out her hands to take her sleeping son from you. She gratefully smiled at you; “Thank you so much for taking care of them. I appreciate it.“ “You’re welcome.“, you replied, leaning over to kiss your girlfriend passionately but careful to not wake up Ocean.

“Excuse me! Those kisses are not child friendly either!“, Kristies voice interrupted the two of you. Alis face was still close to yours as she rolled her eyes; “It’s a kiss. You do worse things with your girlfriend!“ “Ali is right about that!“, Lynn chimed in. Ali shook her head and you noticed the adoration for her teammates in her eyes, even though she wanted to seem annoyed; “Sorry about them.“ “It’s okay, trust me. My acting friends are even more dramatic.“, you laughed. „Yeah, I can imagine.“, the defender grinned, leaning in for another kiss.

Next to you, Lynns face brightened while she pointed to her teammate; “I bet Kristie would have been great in drama school too!“ “Yeah, but she can’t remember shit.“, Ali interjected. Kristies mouth fell open in outrage; “You guys are so mean.“ “Only because we love you.“, Kelley now joined your group, winking at Kristie. Ignoring the others, Kristie turned to you, her phone in hand; “Can we take a selfie together? My girlfriend Sam is such a fan of you and can’t wait for your upcoming tv show.“ “Sure, but I’m for Ali tonight…“, you answered politely. You posed for the photo together, grinning into Kristies phone camera while she smirked; “Yeah, we noticed that.“

“The shirt spoke for itself, huh?”, you laughed with her. An amused smile was on the blonde’s lip:” I can assure you it did.” “Good.”, you nodded satisfied. Slightly displeased Ali asked her teammate:” Are you done now, Kristie?” “Yes, sounds like someone is missing her girlfriend.”, the younger player winked at you.

The older woman rolled her eyes before turning her attention to you:” Ignore her.” “With a pleasure.”, you told her as you kissed her again. Expectantly Ali looked into your eyes when you two ended the kiss:” I hope you know that you have to come to the final now too.” “That’s alright with me.”, you replied happily. The defender whispered into your ear:“You seem to bring me luck.” “Meaning I need to wear the same shirt too?”, you asked her, throwing an eyebrow up.

Innocently Ali played with a loose hair string of yours:” Actually, this time I’d like to see you in my jersey.” “Your Jersey? Okay.”, you agreed. Softly your girlfriend blushed:“It’s a bit more.. official.” “I see.” “If you want to of course.”, Ali’s face went serious. Quickly you replied: “I do.”  “I’ll bring you one.”, the older woman decided. Proudly you glanced at her:” Thanks, it’ll be an honour to wear it.” “It’s an honour for us that you support us.”, Ali corrected you. Looking at her children you said: “The children look tired.” “Let’s take them to bed now.”

“Good night you three.”, you wished them warmly while you all four were slowly falling asleep in the hotelroom. With a bright grin on her face Ali answered:”Good night.”

[forever-rogue]

I was scrolling through your blog and saw that you’re thinking about tasm!peter and I’m 🥺 I love it when you write for him, so if you’re accepting requests maybe a first kiss fic with Peter where he’s just super soft and you’re both nervous? 💕it’s okay if you don’t write this though💕 have a lovely night!

AN | You didn’t ask for best friends to lovers…but we have some best friends to lovers with a first kiss! Enjoy❤️

Pairing | tasm!Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Slight Language, Mentions of Injuries

Word Count | 2.6k

Masterlist | Main | Peter

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You were almost positive that you could feel his eyes on you, but every time you looked up, his eyes were focused on the textbook in front of him. How very odd. You must have been imagining things, or rather you were  wishing for him to look at you. Your face flushed with warmth as you worried your bottom lip between your teeth and stared back at your laptop. 

Was it hot in the room? It felt like it was sweltering suddenly and you slowly felt like you couldn’t breathe. You looked to the window across your bedroom and found that it was already wide open and bringing in the cool evening autumn air. Your heart rate had slowly picked up, getting stronger and stronger with each passing moment, each passing glance at Peter. 

Almost as if Peter knew that something was up, he put his highlighter down and  angled his body towards. Your breath hitched at the expression in his pretty eyes, his smile soft and dopey. If you leaned forward you could press your lips against his and kiss him. 

Wait. This was Peter. This was Peter Parker, also known as your best friend. You absolutely should not have been having thoughts like this about him. But…here they were, front and center once again. Those very same thoughts had become more and more common over the last few months - the last year - and you couldn’t quite place why. This was the same boy you’d known since you were kids. You were already kids anymore, both PhD students and actual adults. 

But the effect he was currently having on you was making you feel more like a shy teenage girl with a big fat crush than a grown woman. You saw his lips moving but couldn’t quite make out what he was saying. 

“Is everything alright?” you finally heard him and snapped back into reality as he waved his hand in front of your face, “where’d you go, bub?”

“N-nowhere,” you almost choked on the word, your mouth running dry at how he was looking at you. He’d always looked at you a certain way that made you feel like you were the only person in the person, but it’s almost like there was something different in it today, “just zoned out is all.”

“Everything alright?” he reached out and gently touched your face, brushing his thumb along your cheek. A shiver ran down your spine at the touch, unexpected but not unpleasant and you couldn’t help but preen into his touch, “you seem…distracted.”

“No,” you lied, shaking your head lightly, “just really..tired. Long day.”

“Hmm,” he muses and clicks his tongue but doesn’t press you. He’s like that, you learned a long time ago; he never presses you when he knows you’re telling a little white lie or not giving him the full truth. He knows that you’d tell him the full story through your own violation when you were ready, “let’s stop for the night. I think it’s pizza time.”

“Yeah?” your eyes lit up with excitement as he nodded. You loved any moment you spent with him, but you loved your lazy evenings with him especially. Peter was the type of person you could do anything with and it would be fun; you could go grocery shopping and it would be thrilling so long as he was there, “sounds perfect, Pete.”

“C’mon,” he slid off your bed and padded towards the living room, holding his hand out for you to follow. You both knew that you’d always take his hand, you’d always follow him, you’d follow him anywhere. You wasted no time in joining him. 

But today there was something different, something different in how tenderly he took your hand in his. You wondered if he felt it too.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It had been two days since you’d last seen or heard from Peter. Two whole days. Forty-eight long hours. It wasn’t like him to go ghost without saying anything…the two of you told each other everything. But all you had of him right now was a lot of unanswered texts, countless voicemails, and even emails without response. You were worried sick. You knew something was wrong. Something was off.

That’s why you went over to his apartment, deciding that enough was enough and you were going to figure out what was going on. You didn’t even bother knocking as you let yourself into the apartment with the key you’d possessed since the day he’d gotten the place. 

“Peter?” you called out into the darkness, frowning when it appeared that no was home. Where on earth could he be? He’d never done this before in the almost two decades you’d known him, “Petey?”

You flicked on the lights, finding everything in the same place as when you had left his place three nights ago. You sighed slightly as you walked down the hall towards his bedroom, nervous as to what you would find. 

“Peter?” you called softly, noticing that his bedroom door was slightly ajar. You pushed it open after rapping your knuckles against it and slowly walked into the room. To your relief, you found his bedside lamp on…and him lying across his bed, silent but with a pained look on his face, “Peter!”

You were at his side in an instant, crouching down next to his head so you could take a better look. Once he heard you, the tiniest of smiles tugged up the corner of his mouth as he turned his face towards you. Even in the faint yellow light from the old lamp you could see the cuts across his cheek, the bruising under his eye, and the split in his swollen lip. Your heart almost jumped into your throat as you gingerly brushed his hair out of his face, “hi.”

His voice was dry and cracked even on the single syllable. Your mind was reeling, unable to focus on what to worry about first. The best thing, you supposed, was the fact that he was alive and breathing. You were so focused on his face that you still didn’t notice one large, very glaring detail. Peter, despite the pain in his body and the ache in his heart at seeing you upset, was waiting for you to realize. He wasn’t sure how you’d take it - how you’d view him from now on.

“Peter,” you whispered his name, and despite the shake and worry in your voice, his name never sounded better than when you said. It was like the sweetest, golden honey. He closed his eyes for a moment before reaching up to touch your face. He trailed his fingers along your jaw and down your neck. You’d been expecting the feel of his gentle skin on yours, but instead you felt something different, “what…”

Reaching up to wrap your fingers around his wrist, you pulled his arm away and studied it. It wasn’t his skin you were feeling, not even a sweater or shirt…but some sort of spandex material. Following the material up his arm, all you could see was red and blue. 

“Bub-”

“Peter,” you’d back away in surprise, shocked by the sight that was in front of you. Your mouth opened and closed a few times as you shook your head, “w-what is this? What’s going on?”

“I can explain,” he slowly sat up, quietly groaning as pain coursed through his body. Normally he healed at impressive, superhuman rates, but these latest injuries were taking longer than normal. Your eyes were stinging with tears that were threatening to well up and run down your cheeks, “I swear…I can…explain.”

“You’re Spider-Man,” it wasn’t a question, it wasn’t even up for debate. It was a statement of fact, pure and simple. His eyes caught yours but he found himself speechless, “or you’re stealing his clothes - suit. But I highly doubt it.”

He swallowed the thick lump in his throat before nodding slowly. He moved to stand up to walk over to you, but winced in pain and remained seated. Despite the shock and surprise of the fact that Peter Parker, your best friend, was Spider-Man, you were still worried about him. Part of you was angry that he’d kept this secret from you, but the bigger part of you was worried about him. You’d always care about him. You were aware of the fact that nothing would ever change that. 

“I’m sorry,” he clutched at his side lightly before giving you the most apologetic look you’d ever seen. You knew he meant it, “I…bub, I was going to tell you. I was just…worried about this. You seeing me like this. Didn’t want you to worry about me.”

“Peter,” you sighed as you dropped to your knees, gently putting your hands on his thighs, “I will always worry about you. As Peter, or as Spider-Man. I worry if you’ve gotten enough sleep, if you’ve eaten enough, if you’ve done your laundry, if you’ve remembered to buy new bottles of shampoo and conditioner…”

“I know,” he set his hands on top of yours and gave them a gentle squeeze, “I know. I…feel the same.”

“I know you do, Peter,” you promised sweetly, “I…fuck. Is this where you’ve been the last couple of days? Is this what happened, love?”

“My phone fell when I was swinging,” he admitted sheepishly, “fell right onto the ground and shattered. After that one thing led to another and I ended up like this. But you should see the other guy.”

It was a meek little laugh that escaped his lips as you sighed lightly, “oh, Peter. I wish I would have known…I could have….done something.”

“No,” he shook his head lightly, “you are never going to be a part of this, of Spider-Man.”

“You realize that’s not going to stop me, right?” you whispered so softly that he almost didn’t hear it. You looked into his eyes, those big familiar brown eyes, “Spider-Man or not.”

“I know,” of course he knew. He’d always known, “I just wanted to protect you. Keep you safe from all the…bad stuff.”

“I know,” you echoed his words, “you always have. But you’ve gotta let me take care of you too, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “yeah.”

“Is this what’s been going on for the last few months?” you backtracked in your mind, trying to place when all the mysterious bruises, cuts, and scratches had started. At first you hadn’t questioned them, knowing Peter had a tendency to be more clumsy, but when they became more regular and angry, you’d become suspicious. But he’d always had an explanation, and you’d always believed him. But then you realized that you’d been seeing him less and less, especially in the evenings and…it all made sense suddenly, “that’s why you’ve been…oh.”

“I’m sorry,” he grew sheepish as you sighed lightly, not in anger but not necessarily in relief either, “I was gonna tell you, I promise.”

“I know you would have,” and you did. Secrets were never held long between the two of you, “I…I’m glad you’re okay. I don’t know what I’d do if…anyway, that’s not important right now. What’s important now is that you let me take care of you.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Don’t,” you put a finger to his mouth to gently shush him, “don’t do this right now. Let me help…please?”

“Okay.”

You stood back up and motioned for him to stay as you headed into his bathroom to grab the first aid kit. You caught your own reflection in the mirror; there were some tears that had pearled down your cheeks. You hadn’t even realized you’d been crying. The idea that anything could have happened to him was the worst feeling in the world. After drying them off with the sleeve of your sweater, you went into the cabinet and grabbed everything and headed back over to him. 

When you walked into his bedroom, you shook your head when you noticed that he’d managed to change into a t-shirt and shorts, sitting upright against the headboard. You wanted to be annoyed with him, but you never could be, not for long anyway, “oh Peter.”

“I’m alright,” the two of you exchanged a look before you shared a small laugh. Perching yourself on the edge of his bed, you reached into the kit and pulled out some alcohol and a clean rag to clean up the cuts on his face. You reached up and gently started to clean his face, and despite being as gentle as possible, you could see him grimace in pain. 

Once you’d gotten his face patched up, you ghosted your fingers over the bruise forming on his cheek, frowning deeply. He hated seeing you upset over him…this was everything he’d been trying to avoid. 

“Where else?” you looked him over and remembered him clutching at his side. Without even waiting for permission, you reached for the hem of his shirt and slowly pulled it up. A small gasp escaped your lips as the bruising on his side became revealed. It looked incredibly painful, “Peter.”

“‘s alright,” he insisted, “it’s already healed a lot. It’ll get better soon, nothing’s broken.”

“You’re not lying to me, are you?” your voice trembled with effort to keep from crying; you just hated seeing him like this. 

“I’m not,” he reached up and rested his hand on the side of your neck, brushing his thumb along your jaw, “promise. Didn’t mean to worry you, sweetheart.”

“I always worry about your dumbass, Parker,” you scoffed at him, sweet and affectionate despite the fact that you truly meant it, “just…be careful, okay? I don’t know what I’d do if…if something ever happened to you.”

“I know,” and if only you knew just how strongly he felt the same way about you. He pulled his hand away and scooted over on the bed, and motioned for you to join him. You moved softly, trying not to disturb him too much as you sat facing him. 

The two of you sat in silence for a few long moments, looking deeply into each other’s eyes, attempting to understand what had shifted. No emotions, no feelings, nothing had changed, but there was a shift and something new had bubbled up the surface. Peter reached for your hand, taking it in his much larger one and laced your fingers together.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” your face immediately warmed up and you had to look away, but the smile on your face was undeniable. He put a finger under your chin and turned your face back to his, “I should tell you every day. I will tell you every day.”

“Peter…” you closed your eyes for a moment, but the smile on your face was undeniable. 

“Can I kiss you?” The question caught you so off guard, your eyes snapped back open as he watched you gently. Your breath hitched in your throat as you nodded eagerly. 

Both of you leaned in and met halfway, your lips brushing softly against each other. You thought it might have been awkward or weird, but it felt like never. It was easy to melt into his touch, and it felt like the two of you had been doing this forever; there was no learning curve, nothing off. It was like you had always been meant to kiss Peter Parker. 

Only once he’d kissed you breathless and senseless did you pull back. He was smiling softly at you, almost as if he was unsure if you’d like it. You couldn’t help but lean in and give him a few more kisses. 

“You, Peter Parker, can kiss me anytime,” you grinned at him, “just so you know.”

“I’m going to take you up on that offer…just so you know.”

“I hope you do.”

“I will.”

“So kiss me now…please.”

[accio-victuuri]

xiao zhan’s mfw interview clues, talismans and matching ads. 🎤

based from the ones released today: v magazine, tencent fashion, tod’s and mr. bags. nothing too big, just some connection/s to already established cpns. feel free to appreciate and enjoy the interviews for what they are even without clowning. 🫶🏼

* V Magazine China

when he talked about superpowers, he has changed his answer from being invisible, he just wishes that there will be no disputes in the world. tho the topic is really about what he wants a parallel world to be like. interesting answer. i’m gonna wait for wyb to have an interview with a similar question and see if they will match 😂😂😂

he also answered that his style is more casual and comfortable which is exactly the same as wyb answered a similar question. not that we ever doubted how similar their personal style is. they may choose or prefer different pieces, but it has the same feel. this is who they steal each other clothes and blend in when they want to.

how he answered the question what he learned about style is to subtract. which may mean less is more or something like that. it matches what wyb said he learned about a different thing — acting. so i see this as a similarity between them, they don’t do overdo things.

🎤: If you had two hours of free time, where would you like to spend it?

🐰: Just strolling around. A city-walk.

I hope he does this with WYB! We was this happen in a lot of ZZ’s vlogs.

🎤: What is the most surprising thing from Gucci 2024 Autumn/Winter Women’s Wear show?

🐰: I think the biggest surprise is the bag. I like it very much, the shape of the bag is very avant-grade and bold.

His interest in bags is here again 👀 In his 2019 interview for MFW, he was asked about what his favorite accessory and he answered bag. The CPN happened because WYB was asked in an interview of his promotion of a jewelry brand (Emphasis ) about what jewelry he will give to his loved one. he answered a bag. lol. the question is about a jewelry but he still answered something different. who is he thinking about? a certain someone who loves bags?

🎤: Do you have any unforgettable anecdotes during the Chinese New Year that you can share with everyone?

🐰: There seems to be no Chinese New Year because I spent the Chinese New Year with the crew.

A confirmation what we already know, that he spent CNY in HD. the thing we won’t ever know tho is if WYB was there. Tho some clues point to the answer being yes.

* Tencent Fashion interview

Not much here but he just repeated how he loves bags. Lol. && how his priority is to film. I imagine the same is true for WYB.

* Tod’s interview

I didn’t share the translation for that. sorry! here it is in all it��s glory. not much cpn tho because the questions are centered on his clothes and the show.

🎤: After watching the first show of Tod's new creative director Matteo, can you share with us your first impressions?

🐰: Excited! and then when I was watching the show, I have been taking pictures all the time. Because there are many coats which I like it very much, including the bags, and I think it’s a brand-new attempt. You can see the second show, which is very unique especially it is placed at the tram stop in Milan — I heard that this tram stop is still in active service, can still be used.

🎤: What are the highlights of today’s outfit? Can you introduce it to us?

🐰: Today’s outfit is a more elegant and low-key style. It is a design of the collar on this coat, in fact you can see that it is actually a leather material, this collar can stand up, then you can put it on here and put it on in another way. Then, include this pair of shoe which is also my favorite loafer and this belt, it is also has a very unique design, it has a hemp material and then combine it with leather.

🎤: If you were asked to recommend one of the most “Italian” items you saw on the show today, which one would you recommend?

🐰: Ah~ it’s so difficult! I think there is a lot of it — I think it’s leather, I think everything about leather, the coat including leather on it’s shoes and trousers.

🎤: What are the three must- have travel stuffs during fashion week?

🐰: phone, passport, also…also the (important) card.

🎤: In a series of film and television works, how do you think different costumes help shape the character’s image?

🐰: It does help yourself to get into the role better.

🎤: You have been to Milan Fashion Week many times. Compared with the first time, what changes do you feel this time?

🐰: This time I felt more relaxed and also more cordial. There is a feeling of going home, especially there is DDV Yeye ( Tod’s CEO ) just now, he always tell me how he always welcomed me back says “Welcome back!” I felt woah! that moment was very warm. Then, of course there is conscious lifestyles of Tods that can’t live without.

🎤: Not long ago, you sang “As You Wish” at the Beijing TV Spring Festival Gala. What kind of New Year wishes do you have for everyone?

🐰: (smooth and healthy) for everyone

* Interview with Mr. Bags

this is year 3 of his interview with him! it’s one i’m waiting for cause xz is comfortable with & i feel like he can get away with asking more personal questions.

🎤: Yes, then I saw your personal clothes later I did serious study and research of it on internet. I think our Xiao laoshi really have a personal style, is very good at dressing and I just found out that — for example you will wear some hats, then the scarf and then you will also wear some of these big coats?

XZ: That’s right.

🎤: It looks warm, it has a sense of youth.

XZ: In fact, I felt it safer and then it’s more comfortable because I’m actually myself, in terms of personal clothing I prefer not too many colors, It is mainly; gray, black series and white colors. Those that are comfortable to wear and can’t go wrong and also most effective.

same thing about his personal style and what colors he chooses which is very close to wyb’s.

🎤: I also heard that Xiao Zhan is actually a very homely person. If it weren’t for work then you would just stay at home so I wonder what you usually do when you are at home?

XZ: Actually, I can also play games, sometimes I will have fun, but for most of time I spend my time working out.

this matches some recent fake rumors. 😭😭😭 especially with the part about how xz prefers to stay-in. and then how he likes to play games! who does he play games with??? WYB. there are already a couple of fake rumors and interviews of them talking about the two playing! it’s so nice to hear it from xz.

THE ALLEGED TALISMAN. 💛

p1 is GG recently, from his flight back home and p2 is a not so clear photo of WYB’s phone during HB screening where you can see what looks like a yellow paper. I have no question that GG does this, we have seen it before. but i like the idea of WYB doing something similar, maybe GG even drawing one for him. and this may be the reason why they chose this type of card case.

Finally, the matching ads by Shu Uemura and Loreal. Two different brands and products but I can’t help but see the similarity with the ads 🥹🥹🥹

-END.

[m00nlight-ramblings]

Like Real People Do: Chapter 3

Chapter 3 of "Like Real People Do"

Working a Saturday shift, Eddie and Dustin come to the rescue to help you leave work early...only after you've met potentially a new friend.

Read Chapter 2 here

Pairing: Eddie x female reader (named "Brooke" because I hate using Y/N, but will also be using "you" to make it reader-centric!)

Warnings: swearing, angst if you squint enough

Word Count: 2.11k

A/N: Graphic made by me. I do not give permission for my work (graphic and writing) to be shared without my permission. I have a taglist for this fic, let me know if you'd like to be added to it!

The weather had finally gave way to autumn, the citizens of Hawkins saying goodbye to their tank tops, and hello to their sweaters. The sun was shining on this crisp, autumn day, making you a little stir crazy while you worked your Saturday shift.

Huffing and wiping your brow, you pushed the shelving cart through the Non-Fiction section, feeling like you were missing out. It was a Saturday and the library was virtually empty, and as you watched a group of kids run past the windows, you frowned slightly, wishing you were anywhere but there.

Sure, you loved the library – you loved reading! – but now that your social life was taking a turn for the better in Hawkins (you had gone out a couple of times with Nancy Wheeler, and oddly enough, her younger brother and his crew…most importantly, Eddie), you wanted to go do fun things. For instance, you knew that Eddie and the rest of Hellfire were going to the mall that afternoon, and were later grabbing burgers at Benny’s.

Your mind wandered to Eddie as you grabbed a small stack of books to re-shelve. Thinking of how, in the past few weeks, you had fallen into a nice friendship with him, and how, if given the chance, you’d want to seriously suck face with him.

Not that you’d admit that out loud.

Butterflies appeared in your stomach as you couldn’t help but smile, thinking back at the last time you had hung out with Eddie – after a Hellfire Club meeting, you met him in the parking lot to grab late night sodas at the local convenience store. Somehow, he made sitting in a dimly lit parking lot until 1 AM excessively fun, especially when he kept leaning into you every time he laughed.

Sigh.

His hair was extra curly that night, the summer humidity hanging on for dear life fluffing it up a bit. You noticed he smelled really good too, which, was how he smelled all the time…but it was still really good, and sill worth noticing.

“Uh…excuse me?” Some said from behind, snapping you out of your daydream. You jumped a little and turned around, facing a boy around your age, waving his hand awkwardly. When he finally got your attention, he smiled, “Hi. I’ve been trying to ask for help for a bit now…I hope you’re not in the middle of something?”

You blushed, embarrassed, “Oh god, no. I’m sorry. My brain is…somewhere else.”

He waved his hand as if to say “no big deal”, “It’s Saturday. Your brain isn’t supposed to be working that hard today, anyway.”

You laughed and nodded, “What can I help you with?”

“Well, I’m doing a report on Napoleon for school, and I was wondering if you could help me find some stuff on him?”

“Oh…well, you’re in the right section, and it’s alphabetical, so you can start at the N’s…but unfortunately, I’m not a librarian, so I can’t help you find exactly what you’re looking for…I just put stuff back on the shelves,” You gestured to the pile of books you were holding in your arms, “Eventually. I do put them back on the shelves…eventually.”

The boy nodded and stalled a moment, looking down at your outfit. “Do I…know you? Do you go to Hawkins High?”

You nodded, “I do. I transferred this year. I’m Brooke.”

“Michael. Nice to meet you.” He extended his hand to shake it, but suddenly took his hand back, “Actually…let’s not. Because of the books…” He blushed a little, “I don’t want you to drop them.”

You smiled and waved your elbow as a greeting, “Nice to meet you,” Awkwardly, you transferred weight on your feet, “Well…I better get back to this…the librarian is over in the corner over there if you have questions.” You nodded towards the librarian, who may or may not have been currently sleeping.

Michael gave a little wave, “Yeah, sure. Thanks…it was nice to meet you.” He turned and walked a few steps away, but turned to look back at you. Giving you one last smile, he disappeared around the corner.

Huh. He was nice.

Suddenly, there was a giant crash near the front of the small library. You craned your neck and saw the front display of books on the floor, the books scattered in every direction. You followed the two pair of sneakers standing in front of the (now broken) display, and unsurprisingly, you found Eddie and Dustin. Sheepishly, they waved.

You rolled your eyes and put the book stack down, marching towards them, “What are you guys doing here?” You asked, your voice a hoarse whisper. You snuck a glance at the librarian at the front desk who was wide awake now.

“We’re here to bail you out!” Eddie said proudly, crossing his arms. You smiled at him.

“…you’re what?”

“We’re here to bail you out!” Dustin echoed, shouting excitedly. The librarian stood and put a finger to her lips.

Shh!

“No, I get that, but,” You ushered them over to a corner, trying to not get in trouble, “Why?”

“Because you shouldn’t be cooped up at work on such a beautiful day.” Eddie said, almost in a “duh!” fashion.

“Okay…and how are you going to bail me out?” You asked, incredulously.

Suddenly, Eddie grabbed your arm and dragged you over to the librarian’s desk, Dustin in tow.

“Ma’am!” Eddie said, suddenly acting nervously, “I am this young lady’s brother and I just found out that she is really sick…our doctor just called our house. He told us she shouldn’t be out, so our mom just asked me to take her home.”

“SHE’S CONTAGIOUS!” Dustin wailed dramatically, earning another “Shh!” from the librarian.

“You guys!” You hissed, embarrassed. You could feel the deep blush rising in your cheeks.

The librarian looked at them, then at you, and then at the clock. It read 2:30. Slowly, she looked back at you and sighed heavily.

“You’re lucky you only have a half hour left of your shift,” The librarian said, monotone. She waved her hand in the air, “Go…enjoy the beautiful day. I mean…enjoy your…” She looked over her glasses at Eddie, “Quarantine from your contagious illness.”

Dustin pumped his fist in the air and Eddie smiled, snagging your arm and taking you outside. “I can’t believe that worked.” He said, laughing as soon as he got outside.

“I can’t either…but you canNOT do that again, you guys! I could’ve gotten in trouble!”

“With that dinosaur? She’s so old she’s not going to remember this in like, five minutes.” Dustin said. He shoved his hands in his pockets, “So, Benny’s?”

“To Benny’s!” Eddie said, looping his arm in yours and leading you to his van. You giggled and followed suit, happy to be enjoying the day.

-*-

With your milkshakes to go, you and Eddie were the only two left after everyone had gone home. Currently, you were sitting in the back of his van, the doors open, watching the sun go down outside of the empty field next to Benny’s.

“Cookies and cream was the way to go.” Eddie said, slurping up some of his milkshake, speaking with his mouth open. You shook your head.

“You can’t go wrong with chocolate, Eddie. Any other flavor is just…not right.”

“Chocolate is so boring!”

“Chocolate is a classic!”

“I refuse to argue this bogus point,” Eddie said, putting his hand up in your face, “Quite frankly because there is no argument…I am right.”

You huffed, giggling and crossing your arms. You swung your legs and sipped your milkshake, falling in a comfortable silence with Eddie.

“So…who were you talking to?” Eddie asked randomly. Confused, you shot him a look.

“Huh?”

“When Dustin and I got to the library today, you were talking to…some guy. Who was it?” He nonchalantly sipped his milkshake, staring off at the sunset.

You furrowed your brow, “Oh…his name is Michael? He’s doing a project for school and needed help finding books. Apparently, he goes to our school but…I’ve never seen him,” You shrugged, following Eddie’s gaze.

He paused for a moment, “Oh. Michael Cardin? I think he’s in my study hall…” He nodded slowly, “Cool.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

You softly punched Eddie’s arm, “Why did you want to know?”

“I dunno,” Eddie said, lifting the straw out of the milkshake cup over and over again, “Just wanted to make sure he wasn’t like…bothering you…or something…” He grumbled.

You could feel your ears turning a bit pink – what was with Eddie wondering that? “Aw, Eddie…are you looking out for me?”

“I just know what people in this town can be like, especially with new kids, so I wanted to make sure he wasn’t giving you shit!” He smiled and chuckled, “Sue me!”

“That’s very nice,” You murmured, looking at him. He met your eyes and smiled, a drawn-out moment between the two of you. You got lost into his eyes before he cleared his throat uncomfortably, running a hand through his hair, “But I wouldn’t be able to sue you for like, anything. I’m the one who had to buy these milkshakes, if you’ve forgotten already.” You joked, trying to ease the tension.

“I told you, when I’m a rich and famous rockstar, I’ll buy you all the milkshakes you want.” He countered, nudging you with his elbow.

“Nah…when you’re a rich and famous rockstar, you’ll forget all about me. You’re gonna have like, 80 million chicks surrounding you, with bleach blonde hair and fancy makeup and tits out to here,” You held your hands far out on your chest, like you were holding beach balls. “That’s who you’re going to be buying milkshakes for.”

“First of all, those kinds of chicks probably don’t want milkshakes, they’ll probably want tequila,” He started, poking your shoulder, “And secondly…what makes you think that I’d ever forget you?”

You turned and looked at Eddie, his brown eyes seemingly boring into your skull. Your breath hitched in your throat as you searched his eyes, trying to find what he meant by that. He was leaning close to you, completely still. Uncomfortably, you shrugged.

“I don’t know…because I’m forgettable?” You mumbled.

“Okay, you must not be as smart as I thought you were because that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s true!” You said, throwing your hands up in the air, “I didn’t have a lot of friends back home! And let’s just say I didn’t have a line of boys waiting to take me on dates, either…” You sighed, “I mean, I don’t think I should be putting a brown paper bag over my head, but-”

“Yeah, well, you don’t need a line of boys waiting for you to take you on a date, just as long as you have the right one.” Eddie said, sucking out some more of his milkshake.

You eyed him and pressed your lips together, your heart starting to beat like crazy in your chest.

“Well…I don’t even have one yet, so…” You tried, quietly. Eddie snorted, putting his milkshake down.

“Well, that Michael guy seemed to have those goo-goo-ga-ga eyes after you guys talked today, so…” His voice tapered off.

You frowned, looking away in disappointment. You didn’t know why you thought maybe Eddie would give you an admittance of a crush, but hearing him try to go the Michael route was a bit crushing.

“Yeah…” You mumbled, sighing lightly and leaning against the edge of the van. You could hear kids playing off in the distance, the sun almost fully set now. Maybe you had read the situation with Eddie wrong? You thought he wouldn’t have been hanging out with you unless there was some sort of feelings there, but he was just given an easy in, and didn’t take it.

You felt lame.

“Are you getting cold? I can drive you home.” He offered, tossing his cup into a garbage can in the parking lot. It went in first try and he pretended to be a crowd roaring, throwing his hands up in the air. You felt sad, but also silly now that he was doing that.

He didn’t seem to even notice what was going on, and now he wanted to drive you home. Great.

You nodded, hopping out the back of the van. Making your way to the passenger seat, you finally spoke, “Yeah, I can go home.”

Eddie didn’t say anything, but got into the driver’s seat after closing the back doors to his van. He looked at you for a bit, and when you turned your head to meet his eyes, he immediately looked out the front window, starting the car.

He drove you home in silence.

---

As always, reblogs, likes, and comments mean the world to me!

Taglist: @cosmicdanielle @sapphire4082 @findmeincorneliastreet @hugdealer @chipster-21

[wannaeatramyeon]

Goo Kim x Reader: Cookies (feat Gun)

Goo and Gun at the bakery for you

Goo loves you, y'know.

It has sorta become a tradition that when one of you is ill, whatever the ill person want, the ill person gets.

And you're there on your deathbed, head full of cold, with a craving for cookies. Not just any cookies, the ones from that extra special fancy little bakery you just love.

So here Goo waits.

With Gun impatiently by his side, wishing death upon Goo and death upon you because at least he would never be dragged into these mundane bullshit situations again. Why the fuck is he here when there's minors to cripple and hospitalise? Seriously, jesus fucking christ-

"Next!"

Disregarding Gun's grumbles, Goo shuffles forward and rocks excitedly back and forth.

Just one more person to serve, and then it's his turn! Only, Goo checks his watch, 5 minutes until close and there are loads left! Well, not loads loads, but there's more than a dozen. Surely enough for you and for the customer in front-

"I'll take the whole lot, please!"

What the FUCK!

"HEY!" Goo lunges just short of the aforementioned customer, "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

After paying and receiving her bag of goodies, the little granny with kind eyes amplified by round glasses, smiles up sweetly at Goo.

"I'm so sorry young man. I'm seeing my family today and want to share these with my children and grandchildren. I absolutely love this place and have been raving about it. It's been so long since I've seen them so I thought I would bring a treat. Ever since my husband died-"

Goo stands there agape, seeing red as she rambles on. Who the fuck cares, you just bought all the fucking cookies.

Respect your elders? He swears he will sock that old bitch in the mouth. He hopes she and the rest of her whole family chokes on those delicious cookie crumbs!

"YOU OLD HAG-"

Gun immediately clamps a hand around Goo's idiot mouth and holds him back.

With Goo struggling in his arms, he gives the friendly granny a polite nod as she waddles away with her bag full of baked goods; blissfully ignorant and not knowing how close she was to getting slapped by an irate blonde.

.

.

Outside the bakery, the sun is shining, there's a gentle autumn breeze, and the evening is beautiful.

Goo doesn't feel the sun. He doesn't feel the breeze.

The sun is shit and the breeze is shit and the evening is shit. He lives in darkness now, he doesn't deserve your love, he can never be happy again.

Dejectedly cradling his bag of crap, he wonders how he could go home to face you, his beloved. He bought what he could, some deliciously sweet and overpriced monstrosities, but it's not a cookie.

Really, Goo should thank his lucky stars that the main cause of grief in his life are goddamn fucking cookies. But.

It's still not a cookie. It's not what you asked for.

What if your sniffly nose and sore throat took a turn and you're dying? What if you're actually dead right now and the last thing you wanted was a cookie and he couldn't do that for you?

"Hey," Gun elbows him, snapping him out of his distress, "Look."

Literally standing a few metres away appears to be a father and daughter. He's wiping crumbs from her mouth, and- what's that in her hands?! Goo's eyes hone in on her little bag of cookies like a hawk.

"KID!!" he screeches, jumping over and crouching down to her height as she stares at this funny, weird man.

"How many cookies you got left?"

She peers into her bag, takes her time counting, then holds up four fingers, "Four!"

"How about I trade you this," Goo opens his bag of baked goods, "For your cookies?"

The little girl shakes her head, pigtails following the movement.

"Kid, don't you know these are more expensive." Another shake, "AND SEE! Icing! Sprinkles! Don't you kids love icing and sprinkles?"

The little girl shakes her head once more and Goo's eyes bug out.

For fuck's sake. Gun pinches the bridge of his nose, considering punting the kid or Goo, whoever is closest.

Whatever.

Taking a deep breath and ignoring Goo, who is on the verge of tears and a mental breakdown, Gun opts for the logical choice and approaches the father instead.

"This guy," Gun points at Goo, now wallowing pathetically on the ground, "Will give you 100,000 won for those cookies."

Seriously?! Just as Dad is about to say fuck yes, he takes a step back and eyes them up. Their impeccably tailored designer suits, their excrutiatingly expensive watches, their general aura of 'fuck you' money-

"500,000."

Gun shrugs, it's not his cash, "Deal."

Heh, suckers. Dad squats down to his daughter. With the experience of being on the wrong end of a screaming tantrum one too many times, he promises toys and TV time and whatever the hell she wants, in exchange for the bag of cookies.

Obediently, and with a peppy smile, she hands them over to him.

Dad holds the bag out in one hand to Gun, and pointedly, his other cash-less palm.

Gun nudges Goo, currently rolling around forlornly on the floor, with his foot, "Pony up, you fucking moron."

Holy shit, Goo could kiss Gun right now. Goo springs up in joy.

Finally! These motherfucking cookies!

Is that the warmth of the sun he can feel? The refreshing breeze? And isn't this evening magical-

Hold the fuck on. Unwelcome clarity slams into him. Five hundred fucking thousand won?!

With tears in his eyes, Goo digs out his wallet and forks over the cash.

[the---hermit]

Walking through the woods to go at my gradma's this morning made me feel a bit like litte red green riding hood, and I have not yet decided if it's a positive or negative thing.

27|09|2023

Today I changed my routine a little bit, after having breakfast and reading as usual I took a walk to get to my grandma's place to study there. I knew there would be workers at my place for the whole day, and I needed a quiet place to focus. I ended up studying on the kitchen counter instead of the table because it's a bit taller so I knew it would be better for my back. Overall it was super quiet and I felt very productive eve though the wifi wasn't at its best. I ended up taking the afternoon off, since I worked so well in the morning and also because tomorrow will be a energy draining day. Taking a walk that early felt actually really good, the air was crisp™ and overall it felt like a really good autumn day. My afternoon was filled by tea, books and crocheting, so I couldn't wish for a better way to recharge .

Cozy hobbit autumn activities and productivity:

Read first thing in the morning

Took a walk early in the morning (I really have to work back into my routine short daily walks)

Worked on a very long but very interesting recorded lecture of my power practices class (it was about a trial of faked supernatural powers and abuse in a monastery in the early 1800s, it was one of the most out of mind things I have ever learned about, it felt more like a novel than an actual real life historical happening)

Daily Irish practice on duolingo (also when will duolingo stop making updates and moving my around levels every fucking time I open that app I get more confused and I kust want to learn uuugh)

Worked on my crochet project (I am still working on the first sleeve of the cardigan and I have to make so many mushrooms too, this project is exciting but it will take so much time to be done)

Podcasts, books and audiobooks

📖: The Book Of Lost Things by John Connolly (I love this book so much, the vibes are perfect and it's putting me in the best autumn mood ever) The Burning God by R.F. Kuang (I think I only have five or six chapters to go? Plus the final short stories from Nezha pov, which I just found out about while looking how much on the book I still have to read)

[writermai05]

Arsonist's Lullabye

Chapter 3: Smelling like a Bonfire, Lost in a Haze

Summary: Y/n and Zuko get to know each other. 

Pairing: Zuko x fem! reader (Live Action or Animated) 

A/N: Point of view switch starting now! Hopefully this works better than the previous chapters. Based heavily off of "Too Sweet" by Hozier (Yeah this entire series is based on Hozier's discography, SUE ME!). Very excited about this. Next chapter is probably gonna be shorter, but I promise I'll make it worthwhile. Should I make a taglist for this series??? As always feel free to leave comments or constructive feedback, as it helps me grow. 

Word Count: 1,211

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Avatar: The Last Airbender, I am merely a nerd who hyperfixates a lot. Lots of divergence from the canon story lol. 

Warnings !: Insecure Zuko, mentions of burns, I think that is all? 

Wednesday came a lot faster than you had anticipated. 

The mundanity of Tuesday felt like nothing compared to the stakes of today. Perhaps delaying a conversation about whatever had happened between Zuko and yourself for another two days wasn’t the best of decisions.

Your professor broke you from your worried state, explaining about some assignment you were meant to complete in pairs. Perhaps it was the sour mood you were in, but frankly, even you were over these icebreaker activities. 

Gathering your things, you began searching around the room for someone to work with. Before you could actually move, you spotted Azula heading straight for you, the same standoffish girl you had met on the first day, with familiar golden eyes and her long black hair in a top knot, held with the same gold pin. Taking a seat right in front of you, Azula neatly laid out her things in a sort of rehearsed way. 

You hid the surprise that filled your body at the sight of her. Staring at her, you raised your eyebrows inquisitively. She merely stared back, with an expression of many layers. You relented, putting all your things where they were before, and slowly retaking the seatright across from Azula. 

“So are we going to get started or…” Azula trailed off, seemingly indifferent. 

You were utterly confused. Admittedly, your guys’ first meeting was shaky, filled with a sort of aggressive energy and tension that most people would wish to avoid. “Yeah…Can I ask you something?” Azula raised her eyebrows in approval. 

“Why partner with me?” Such a simple question, but you were sure that the answer would be interesting.  

Azula rolled her eyes. “No one in this class is worth talking to. I just chose based on convenience.” She replied pompously. 

Much to the confusion of Azula, you smiled at her response. 

“Really? Here’s what I think. You partnered with me, even after our awful first meeting, because it was convenient, but also because you secretly think I’m really nice and cool, and that we should be friends.” Your sarcastic and dry humor, paired with complete honesty and optimism was quite polarizing. Azula scoffed at your statement. 

“You psych majors are always so weird.” She replied, yanking a sheet of paper from you and beginning the assignment. 

“Why thank you Azula, I also think it would be cool if we were friends!” you replied before also getting to work on the assignment. 

Little did you know, deep down, Azula was grateful for the connection. 

~

Zuko had been anticipating class all day. He was just trying to enjoy his walk in the cool autumn air of Ba Sing Se. Unfortunately, everything in his brain was telling him that this was not going to go well, and that eventually, you too would come to see him the way that everyone else does. ‘No, she’s not like that!’ he screamed back. If she was, why would she have even bothered trying? 

By the time he had reached class, his thoughts were going a mile a minute. A back and forth of thoughts about you, questioning your character, and attempting to quell the darkest thoughts within his mind. That was, until he spotted you. 

You had sat in the same spot from the first time, but this time, your backpack was saving the seat to your left. Seemingly sensing his presence, your gaze moved from the notebook on the desk in front of you to Zuko. He sheepishly waved, and you smiled, gesturing for him to come as you moved your bag off the chair. 

Everything that Zuko had been feeling a couple minutes before this moment had stopped. The smoke-filled haze of his mind had been absolutely soothed at the sight of you. Moving as calmly as he could, he made his way to the seat next to you. 

“How were your classes yesterday?” You asked softly. This type of gentleness was unfamiliar. It was the kind of sensitivity Zuko had only ever received from two people in his life. He gulped back some air before answering. 

“It was fine. I worked at the shop after.” You nodded, going back to whatever you were writing down in your notebook earlier. 

~

Class went by without a hitch. It felt casual, as if it wasn’t a big deal, and maybe it wasn’t. This sense of normalcy was almost unheard of when it came to Zuko’s life. After the professor dismissed the class, you spent a little extra time packing all of your supplies. Zuko stood beside you, waiting patiently for you to finish. 

“You didn’t have to wait for me, but thank you.” You said, slinging your bag over your shoulder. Zuko shrugged. 

“It’s alright. Do you have any other classes today?” 

“Nope. I’m done for the day, why?” 

“Let me walk you back to your dorm?” He asked, in a timid manner. 

“Really? You don’t have to-”

“I want to. My classes are done for the day, and the shop is right next to the dorms.” 

You were flattered by the sincerity in his voice. 

“Okay.”

The two of you took your time, basking in the cool afternoon air. The falling leaves and luscious greenery, even in the city, was absolutely breathtaking. You and Zuko had polite conversations, just learning more about each other. He told you about moving to Ba Sing Se, and how his uncle had come to own the Jasmine Dragon. You told him about growing up in the north, and how you ended up transferring to the University of Ba Sing Se. As you reached the doors of your dorm building, the conversation fell quiet. 

“Thank you, Zuko.” You said earnestly.

“No, Thank you, Y/n.” 

Confusion flooded your features. “What for?”

“For giving me a chance. I know I’m not the best person to talk to.” 

“Maybe you’ve never known the right people.” You replied. He laughed, somberly in response. 

“No, it was definitely me who was the problem.” 

You shrug, making proper eye contact with him. Within your eyes held a look that seemed to hold something akin to a sky full of stars.  “Isn’t it interesting how eventually, you will meet people that see more within you than you see in yourself?” Zuko felt like his heart was about to explode.

“Goodbye, Zuko. Get home safely.” And with that, you entered your dorm hall, leaving the fiery boy at an absolute loss for words. 

You will meet people that see more within you than you see in yourself. 

You had said it so casually, so nonchalantly, as if it wasn’t some new and big concept. For Zuko, it was. He had never felt the warmth of fire, just the searing burn. He was never able to breathe through the haze, rather he choked on the smoke. How could anyone possibly come to see him as the man he became rather than the boy that he was? Has he always been worth the time and trouble? Was this what Uncle Iroh had been trying to tell him? Was his therapist? 

As he mused over these questions, Zuko couldn't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, he'd been underestimating his own worth all this time…and he definitely needed to schedule another appointment with his therapist.

[obsessedtomone]

Unravel Yourself Before Me ⛓️ Chapter 1 - Convenience ▸Shigaraki x femReader

Summary: “If you fucking apologize to me right now, and manage to speak to the prof before—” he slides his sleeve just above his expensive-looking smartwatch and casually checks the time for you, “...the class ends in about three minutes, I promise you, you won’t regret it as much as you will if you do go through with this stupid thing you started with me.” his creepy smile didn’t falter a single damn inch as he threatened you, his voice cold as ice.

You wish you could turn back time and never cross his path that stupid night at the store.

You wish you were a different, nicer person, one that knows when to bow their head or to apologize if they messed up.

But you weren’t and you won’t. Setting: University AU - No quirks (unless degenerate personalities count) Tags: Slow burn, Eventual Smut, Unhealthy/Toxic Relationships, Humiliation, Mentally Ill Reader, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to ??? Warning: Dead Dove – Do Not Eat | Mind the tagsTW: Implied Su/Self H, Dubcon, Reader has a super shitty past like actually, Shigaraki Tomura is his own warning.

AO3 Crosspost | Chain Divider by firefly-graphics

Chapters: One • Two • Three

Chapter 1 - Convenience Pitter-patter.

With a pop of your joints, you reach for the moon or the ceiling or maybe the gods above. You reach and you reach and finally you feel that satisfying stretch burn through your muscles.

What time is it anyway?

Uh-oh. You cringe, because the birds are chirping, the first light of the day is starting to show and because… you’ve been fucking gaming your entire Saturday night.

You check your phone. It’s 4:30 AM.

And you could’ve been studying, could’ve been in touch with your project buddies, to send them your part of the project in time, but you didn’t and you won’t. Not at least until tomorrow anyway. Tomorrow, probably around ten minutes before your group’s deadline.

Yeah, you’re that special kind of asshole.

Looking around yourself, you realize that all of the sudden, your dorm feels so fucking stuffy you could suffocate. It’s messy and god knows when you opened your goddamn windows last.

That’s exactly what you decide your next action will be, as your mind briefly wandered back to your past few Valorant matches. You actually stayed up late, trying to climb to Diamond and dealing with the hyper-misogyny from random pathetic incels who immediately shit themselves the moment a woman opens her mouth on mic.

Whatever.

At least you weren’t living in your mommy’s basement, swimming in a sea of trash. You glance around your room and wince.

Okay maybe you were swimming in like—a puddle of trash. Lovely.

But that’s okay, because you were definitely way better than them on a societal level…Right?

You really don’t dwell very much on that particular thought.

With a yawn, you reach for the windows and open them wide. The cool air of soft autumn rain is invading your stale room the second you open them, and you feel the fresh oxygen invading your lungs. You wonder how long it’s been raining for already, when you finally feel your stomach—the one vital organ you’ve been purposefully ignoring all night, growling. Wait, what did you eat today?

When the fuck did you eat last, actually?

“Uuugh—”

On your way towards your tiny ass kitchen, you went ahead and decided what flavor of cup noodles to scarf down quickly before you hit the hay. Only problem is that you, in fact, did not have any instant noodles left.

Goddamn it.

You briefly glance down over your sorry excuse of an outfit—one that would put homeless people to shame, made up of plain black sweats and an oversized black hoodie. It takes you a total of two seconds to decide that it was good enough before you set off for the nearest 24 hour convenience store.

So you grab your phone, your keys, and that’s what you do.

─────────

It was still pretty dark outside, despite the hints of a rising sun, but it smelled like fresh morning rain and to your delight, it couldn’t be quieter around here.

Your neighborhood was incredibly sketchy, but you couldn’t complain given it was barely a fifteen minute walk to your university and the rent to your rundown two-room-apartment was dirt fucking cheap. It suited the broke ass bitch that you were and you liked it—one, because you have a thing for sketchy places and two, because it’s yours and yours alone.

The pepper spray you bought sits snugly in your kangaroo pocket, with your hand occasionally fidgeting and feeling the rim of the object. It made you feel safer knowing you had some leverage in a fight, should something unpleasant go down.

You’re used to being on guard after all the years of bad experiences. Of being on your own.

Of stupid shit that kept happening to you.

So you walk, if only with a little anxiety, because you still need to stay vigilant and not put the universe to a test.

The first thing you notice when you waltz into the corner store, is how goddamn bright the neon lights are.

They are far too bright for your tired gamer eyes that are used to hours of staring into dimmed screens.

It’s also eerily quiet inside—save for the whirring, clicks and occasional gurgling of the refrigerators in the back. Or at least that’s where you think the sounds come from.

It was odd that the current shift didn’t think of turning on the radio or something, but with a quick glance towards the staff at the counter, you realized by noticing their wireless earpieces that they couldn't give less of a fuck about the store’s ambiance.

Not that it mattered, when you were busy surveying the shelves in search of something edible. This ‘food’ consists mostly of snacks and other nutritionless garbage that would give nine point five out of ten doctors a cardiac arrest.

Speaking of heart failure, you find yourself in front of the refrigerated drink aisle, using all of your brain wrinkles to make your hardest decision yet.

Which one of the canned heart attack flavors are you gonna buy today?

You hummed, spending a good three minutes thinking, and when you finally go ahead and grab the energy drink—

“Hey.” a low and grating voice speaks right behind you.

You fucking jump at the sound, turn around with a scowl and then—straight out of a comedy skit, you feel like you’re staring at your male doppelgänger.

The guy looked super sketch, wearing black sweatpants that matched your own and the hood of his equally black colored hoodie up and covering a messy mop of white hair.

Next immediate thing you noticed were his intense crimson colored eyes, drilling a hole through the middle of your fucking skull.

If only looks could kill.

“Do you need something?” you fail to mask the venom in your voice, aimed at him for no good reason.

A skin care routine, you think.

Not like you bothered with one either, but your face wasn’t disintegrating into disgusting flakes, unlike his punk ass.

Motherfucker couldn’t wait two fucking minutes for you to pick something? Where the fuck do you have to be at like 4:50 in the morning???, you scoff but the words remain yet unspoken.

The hooded figure raises his hand to scratch at his pale neck, seemingly annoyed at your shitty attitude towards him.

He just had to meet the worst type of bitch at this ungodly hour on a Saturday no less—and he wasn’t having it. His eyes stare you down for a moment, noticing your face scrunching up at his sight, then as he rolls them he finally replies.

“You’ve been standing in front of the drinks for like ten fucking minutes, you ugly ass bitch. Pick something or get the hell outta my way.” he finally claps back, and with that, your eyes narrow.

“I was just about to, asshole,” you reply, your voice betraying you and ultimately cracking while you seethe. “Go ahead and grab your stupid ass drink, so you can finally go home to the boys and cry about women being mean to you.” you stand aside for him and motion to the drinks, all while his eyes widen in what you presumed to be shock.

And before he has the chance to talk back, you hurry the fuck up and leave.

The poor employee at the counter who saw the scene playing out (the store ain’t that big now), seemed to want nothing to do with any of this.

Graveyard shifts must be really fucking fun, when you’re graced with not one, but two annoying idiots.

You pat all four of your pockets, trying to find your wallet—when it dawns on you.

No way—

Ain’t no fucking way your stupid, braindead ass forgot your money at home.

Oh my god, this is not happening right now. Especially because the embodiment of patience is standing just a few inches behind you, shifting uncomfortably from one leg to the other and waiting with bated breath for you to finally pay and get lost.

“Uhh,” you cringe and scratch at the back of your head sheepishly. “Do—Do you guys keep tabs open? I kind of…forgot my wallet at home.” you say defeatedly, almost whispering the second half so that the guy behind you wouldn’t hear it.

The employee stares at your face as if you grew a second head and then replied curtly in a very bored tone.

“No.”

Your predicament made the guy behind you break into a creepy snicker. You shoot him a glare and dare him to say something, but he’s too busy laughing at you.

You prayed the ground would swallow you whole. Right fucking now.

With shame covering your face, you turn around to leave and swear to never set foot in this establishment ever again.

As you leave and before you have the chance to make good on your promise, the guy behind you reaches out—if a bit hesitant, and grabs your arm.

You wish a nuke would crash into this store and obliterate you, together with whoever was in it. Or maybe for aliens to finally make contact with planet Earth and take you the fuck away. Getting your ass probed sounded way more appealing than this incredible embarrassment you felt in front of the two strangers.

“Wait,” he looks at you—amused?

“What. Let go of me, man.” you panic and try to free yourself from his grip.

“I’ll pay.” he offers, a disturbing smirk playing on his dry lips.

This fucking guy.

“N-No, I’m good. Thanks.” you said, your voice shaking more than you wanted it to.

Tears finally prick at your eyes.

Why did you live your life this way? Why are you so pathetic–especially in front of assholes like him?

Why are you still so weak?

After everything you’ve been through?

You try once more to shake him off of you, but he’s deceptively strong and doesn’t relent now that he’s caught you where he wanted you to be.

“It’s okay, really, this just made my night. I’m going to pay for ya.” his smile got wider as he talked and with that, he swiftly pulled out some scrunched-up bills from his sweats, slipping them to the employee who could not give less of a fuck about whoever paid first. He grabs your already bagged purchase and basically shoves it to you, giving his best ‘Come again soon!’ bullshit line that actually translated to ‘Please fucking leave the store already’.

“How about that, huh? Now you owe me one, little bitch.” he leaned in and whispered into your ear, his voice low and raspy, sending shivers down your spine and rendering you absolutely speechless.

Without sparing you so much as a second glance, sketchy dude pays for his own shit and leaves the establishment in a smug stride. You could basically read the “EZ” he wrote in /all chat while destroying your fucking nexus.

What a horrible fucking night, you think to yourself while hurrying to go home as well.

Your only comforting thought was, that you wouldn’t have to see his stupid fucking pasty face ever again.

[gyuletters]

autumn love. | beomgyu

♡ pairing: beomgyu x gn! reader.

♡ synopsis: you fall in love with beomgyu, the grandson of a bookshop owner.

♡ genre: romance, fluff, soft, lovely, sweet.

♡ warnings: none.

♡ wc: 2506

♡ note: english isn't my first language. so excuse any mistakes. <3

a normal autumn day.

coming back home with coffee in my hands, thinking about how much work is left to do. a usual routine where i’m going to an old bookshop close to my ap. 

but, as i open the door and say hi to the lovely old owner, i see him. a tall brown haired man with sparkling eyes. his clothes seem oddly appropriate for working here - dark color pants and a white button up shirt. 

as i’m picking up my book (actually a play) for this week, a man appears behind me.

“romeo & juliet? a classic.” he’s smiling and i can see how his eyes wrinkles a little on the sides.

“yes. i’m really into classics.” i smile back

after a little chat, i found out his name - beomgyu, grandson of the owner. he decided to spend some months with his grandpa trying to escape the chaos from a big city. 

i’m back at my apartment, and still, beomgyu is the only thing that echoes through my mind.

i see myself coming back to this bookshop more often than usual. main reason being beomgyu. i just want to talk with him all day long, so i could hear his deep but soft voice. 

the conversations run towards books. so i don’t know much about his personal life. honestly, that makes me scared. 

what if he already has someone? what if i’m here so in love with a man that already found his soulmate?

this makes me feel so angry but also incredibly guilty. but, i just don’t have the courage to ask him about it. 

well, at least until today. 

i decide to look in the shelfs that are more hidden and i see a book i’ve never read before. 

curiosity gets the best of me and i try to pick it but it’s too far away. 

“here.” beomgyu takes the book for me.

i turn around to take it and that’s when our eyes meet. electricity running through my body.

how i wish i could just kiss him now. after all this time, i want to pour my love for him. 

i fell in love after just one look at his face. 

i know it’s crazy. life isn’t like all romances that keeps company with me at night. but i want him.

“thank you.” i say after much struggle and look down avoiding being even more poisoned by his eyes.

“y/n…” he whispers my name.

my heart starts racing. 

beomgyu puts the palm of his hands on my cheeks and makes me look back at him. 

“you’re so beautiful…” - a stubborn strand of my hair it’s put behind my ears. - “did you know how beautiful you are?”

“no…” i say while being a bit embarrassed.

“should i show you?” i’m leave speachless.

beomgyu close the gaps between us and puts his lips dangerously close to mine. - “can i kiss you?”

“please.” i beg almost whispering.

his lips are so soft against mine. the taste of him is so sweet, i think i’m going to be addicted to it. 

he’s so warm. it’s like a big bear hugging me. 

i swear to god i don’t want him to stop. i want to be intoxicated by his kisses, so i never forget how he feels when close to me.

he backs up a little and the words that leave his lips are even more dangerous than his lips. - “i love you.”

our foreheads against each other and his breath ever so close to my face.

“i’m so in love with you, beomgyu.”

warm kisses are exchanged, breaths so shallow. our love blossomed between old books and autumn breezes.

© gyuletters, 2023.

do not repost it.

[k-slla]

Wish You Were Here

First of all, I have to say thank you to @deanbrainrotwritings for helping me on this one - I really really appreciate it 💖 & @impala-dreamer for the perfect song for this fic💖

Another one done for the @jacklesversebingo :)

Square filled: "I want to be the last one you love." will be in bold

Word count: ∼4.5k

Trigger warnings: Suicide, suicidal ideation, trauma, depression, mental illness, panic attack, angst

My Masterlist

You woke up abruptly. Clock on the nightstand glowed at 3:23. There was no way that you could fall asleep again now. You blinked away the tears that were welling up in your eyes. Feeling them roll down your cheeks, you sat up on the bed, trying to ignore the empty side next to you.

You had dreamt of him again. Actually, the more you thought about it, you realized, it wasn't just a dream. It was a memory of three of you- you, Jensen, and your daughter Elis flying a kite at your lake house on a beautiful, autumn evening a couple of years back.

It was the beginning of September- days were still warm but after sunset, it got cold quite fast.

Elis was running around with the kite until she stumbled on a rock. Jensen quickly ran after her to grab the kite by the string she had let go when she fell. "Hey, Princess, you okay?" He tried to help her, but she just stood up, took the kite back from him and said happily: "Yes, thank you, Daddy! " And ran away again. He shook his head and smiled to himself. "Like mother, like daughter." He said quietly.

You pulled him up and put your arms around his neck. "What was that?" You asked him, your lips teasingly hovering over his, but still not touching. "I said that she's just as stubborn as her mother. Never letting me help her. What am I supposed to do with the two of you?"

You swatted him lightly on his shoulder and made sure that Elis was out of earshot before continuing."Oh, shush, honey. Besides, didn't you help me last night? I remember letting you be really, really helpful. In the bedroom and on the balcony." You said slowly as he pecked your lips softly between your words. Sometimes you were glad you didn't have any close neighbors and that Elis is a heavy sleeper. Otherwise it would've been a very, very uncomfortable situation.

"In the shower too." He added.

You looked flirtily up to him. "Yeah, no, I definitely don't remember that."

"Hmm...I'll have to remind you tonight then, if you promise to keep quiet." He laughed cheekily, and pulled you close to him, and pressed a kiss on your forehead. You stood in comfortable silence in his arms, watching closely how Elis chased after your dog in the backyard, laughing and trying to catch up with her. The kite was already abandoned somewhere on the ground.

It started to get dark, so it was time to head inside. "Elis, honey, let's go inside now!" You called after her. "But moomm! Little bit more, please!"

"Not today, Princess! It's getting cold soon!" Jensen said and she immediately came running back to you, jumping into his arms. She has always been Daddy's girl. "How do you always get through to her?" You were amazed by him. "Let's just say I've had some practice." He gave you a wink and started walking towards your house.

You decided to linger behind to watch them go.

Small moments like these are the ones you would never forget. Now, these memories are even more precious. This dream has been a recurring one for you, ever since his funeral.

You got out of bed and walked downstairs to the living room, picked up an album from the shelf and sat on the couch. Looking at the pictures there were many thoughts in your head. Why didn't he talk to you? How could he let things get so bad that he saw no other way to get out? Why didn't he ask for your help? That's what hurt you the most. That after 8 years of being married, you felt like he still couldn't trust you enough to tell you how he was truly feeling. He suffered alone and you didn't see it until it was too late.

Knowing that this was his choice, was agonizing. Jensen chose to leave you, your daughter, and everyone he knew and cared about. How were you supposed to be able to accept that? It's been close to a year already and no matter what your therapist or anyone else says, it does not get better with time. For you, it still hurts the same.

You've had easier days and hard ones after that. You knew already that today will be especially hard for you to function. You missed him every day with your body, mind and soul, feeling like you were just an empty shell slowly moving through your daily routines. But today, you wanted - no, needed him to hug you, kiss you and tell you that everything's going to be okay. Even if you knew that it was the biggest lie ever, Jensen still always managed to make you believe it.

You sat there for a few hours, flipping through the album, looking at your wedding pictures, focusing really only on the smile on Jensen's face. How the happiness it was showing was just a cover up for all the pain he must have been feeling inside. And he hid it well. "Why did you do this? I don't understand. I could've helped you. Why didn't you talk to me, Jay?" You asked, voice barely above whisper, brushing your fingers over a picture of him and Jared laughing together, hoping to hear him answer. Turning the page you saw both of your handwritten vows you kept from the wedding. The memories brought back the tears that had already dried on your cheeks.

"Y/N, my dear, I love you. More than anything. And I will tell you that every day for the rest of my life. I promise to take your hand today, to hold and to guide you through life next to me, until we're old and wrinkly. I want you to know that I accept all your flaws and quirks because these little things make you who you are.

And while I adore your grumpy, almost lethal glares in the mornings when I forget to put sugar in your coffee, I promise that I have finally learned from my past mistakes.

You are the perfect woman and you make me try to be perfect too. You really are my dream come true, standing right here in front of me. All I ask from you today, is one promise: please promise me that your love for me won't ever fade. No matter the hardships we'll have to go through. I want to be the last one you love, because you are the one for me."

He did tell you that every day. Even when you had the biggest fight that day, you never went to bed angry and not once did you miss the I love you’s. You couldn't help but smile through tears when you read his vows over again, thinking of the excitement and happiness you were feeling when you first heard it. Now, it fills you with sadness.

It was almost 6am and you know Jared usually wakes up at around 5:30. It felt pathetic to call your late husband's best friend at 6am but you just needed to talk to him. Jensen was more like a brother to him. He lost that part of him that day, so he knew what you were feeling. Almost. You dialed his number and waited for him to pick up.

"Hey, Y/N. How are you?" His quiet voice rang through the speaker. "Not good, Jared." There was silence on the other side as he waited for you to continue. "I had a dream of him again today. I miss him. So much." You added with a shaky breath.

"I know. I miss him too. Can I-" he breathed in deeply. "Is there anything I can do?" You started thinking of how anyone but yourself really could help you.

"I don't know." You whispered. "I guess I just have to get through it somehow." For some reason you felt like the "acceptance" stage of grieving, just wasn't on the horizon for you, not any time soon.

"You are not alone, you know that, right? You can talk to me. About anything."

You nodded, but realized he couldn't see you. "I know, J. Thank you."

"Would you like us to pick up Elis for the day? We were planning to go to the fair today and I know for sure my kids would be thrilled to have her come join us. You could have the day to take care of yourself."

You always hated the feeling of being helpless and weak. Lately, it felt that it was all you were. Weak. For the last months, someone has been over to help you frequently. Your parents and in-laws came over the most. Surely, they just wanted to check on you and see their granddaughter, but every time they came, you and your home were always a mess. Deep down you knew that they would never judge, but it still made you feel like you were failing as a mother.

"I don't want to burden you."

He sighed. "Honey, you would never be a burden to us. Don't ever think like that. I'll pick her up around 9, is that good?"

"Okay." You said, exhaling deeply, hoping you'd finally get the rest that you've been missing for the past few months.

You dried your face from tears and dragged yourself to the kitchen to make some tea for you and Elis. After preparing breakfast, you went to wake her up. You were glad she didn't wake up earlier. You wouldn't want to let her see you like that.

"Morning, sweetie!" She was stirring in bed tiredly. "Morning, mommy." She mumbled out quietly. She sat up and shuddered. "Are you cold?" You asked and sat on her bed to pull her close to you. She climbed fully onto your lap and you held tight while she was still waking up.

"I talked to Uncle J today. He wanted to see if you'd like to go to a fair with them?" You had a feeling you already knew what her answer was going to be.

"Can we go? Pleeease?" All her tiredness was being swept away.

"He'll pick you up soon, so let's get you some breakfast." You said as you started to go through her closet to pick some clothes out.

"You're not coming?" The disappointment in her voice broke your heart. "Not today, sweetie, but you'll go and you will have fun for both of us, okay?" Giving her a small smile, you stood in front of her with three outfits. "So, what's it gonna be today? Purple, green or yellow?" Elis was at that age, where she had to do everything herself, but she always wanted her outfit to match head to toe, so every morning you gave her some color options and tried your best to match clothes up. The combinations weren't always the best, but it made her happy, so you were happy. "Purple!"

"Okay, purple it is. Come downstairs when you're ready." You gave her the clothes and left her to dress. "Yes, Mom!"

You heard a car pull up and minute later, Jared let himself in, greeting you loudly. "Hey, girls!" He came to give both of you hugs. "You want coffee or to eat something? Help yourself." You said and pointed to a table full of way too much food for just you and Elis. But you couldn't help it, you love cooking, and most of all, you love cooking whenever you're stressed. "I'll just quickly do her hair and then she's ready to go." You ushered Elis to the bathroom to brush her teeth and braid her hair.

A little bit later, you were saying goodbye to them when Jared hugged you again and whispered. "I meant it, Y/N. Please take care of yourself, okay?"

"I will, I promise. Probably passing out as soon as I close the door behind you." You chuckled. "Good! Do that! El, you ready?" He asked louder. "Yes!" And she gave you one last hug. "Love you, Mom!"

"Love you too! Have fun!"

Almost an hour had passed and you hadn't fallen asleep, instead of it, you laid in bed, thinking of what to do next. You knew exactly what you should do- get back to work full time. You were a freelance photographer, so you had some freedom in shaping your work schedule.

For the last months though, you had held back on taking new projects on. You had plenty of events already that had been planned long in advance and those kept you busy enough. But you knew it was probably the best for you to get out there again. Jensen would definitely say the same. For the sake of your mental health, you decided that coming Monday morning, you'd reach out to your contacts to see if anything new was coming up.

Since you couldn't sleep, you didn't want to let the day go to waste, so you decided to get busy instead. And you were honestly surprised to see how much you got done that afternoon. You managed to actually go and get the groceries for the week, instead of getting them delivered and cleaned the house from top to bottom. It wasn't a lot, if you'd think a year back, but even this seemed like a huge success for you lately. At least it kept you busy for hours. Still, you felt like your day was going too good for you and you were dreading the moment when you'd crash. You knew it would come. It always did.

It was early evening when Jared let you know that they'll take Elis with them to dinner before bringing her home. This gave you a few more hours alone. And you still had leftovers from this morning, so instead of just moping around, you decided to take a long shower. Maybe it would make you feel better about yourself.

You entered the bathroom and undressed, suddenly feeling exhausted and drained. You turned the water onto the hottest setting, hoping the burn on your skin would ease the pain you endured on the inside. You didn't know how to go on without him. You didn't want to. It was hard. And you couldn't help but think that Jensen found an easy way out. Like he gave up too easily, without giving you a chance to help him. Yes, you didn't have any idea how bad it must've been for him, but to you, it also felt like your promises of standing beside him, no matter what life would throw at you, were broken against your will. You couldn't stop the thoughts that passed through your head. What if I just do it? End it all. It sounds so easy. I'd be finally free of this constant pain and the feeling of being useless and pathetic. He did it. What's stopping me?

"Elis. You will not give up because of her." You said out loud, hating yourself for even having these stupid, stupid thoughts.

You stood under the hot stream of water for some time, scrubbing your skin until it was red. Starting to feel lightheaded from the heat, you got out of the shower. You stood in front of the mirror, taking a long look at yourself and you couldn't recognize the woman in the reflection. That there wasn't you. You refused to believe that. She looked small, fragile and tired. Not a sign in there of a confident, happy woman you used to be.

You pulled a towel around you and walked out of the bedroom to get dressed. You stopped in front of your closet and you were nailed in place. You could see it clearly. He was laying in there, like the day you found him. When it was already too late. You knew this was just your imagination but you had to shut your eyes painfully tight to make the view disappear. This is not real, I'm just seeing things. This is not real. This is not real. You kept repeating to yourself in your head.

Then it hit you like a ton of bricks. Your ears were ringing and your body started to shiver uncontrollably. "No, no, no, not now." You whispered and lowered yourself to the floor before your legs would give out. Leaning against the wall, it felt nauseating to just sit there, but you couldn't move. You didn’t know how long you were sitting there, but after some time you heard the front door closing and someone walking downstairs.

"Y/N, dear, it's me." Donna's voice rang through the hall. "I thought I'd come see how you're doing. You didn't answer your phone." His mom was here and you couldn't be more thankful for her for coming over right now. She and Alan supported and cared for you like your own parents did.

"I'm..here!" You called out to her shallowly. It took a minute before she found you. Her expression dropped immediately, when she saw you down on the floor. You looked up at her. "I'm so sorry, Donna. I'm - I should've-" I should've helped him, is what you wanted to say to her, but choked up in tears instead. You lost your husband, she lost her son. You couldn't even imagine what she must be going through.

She sat down next to you and pulled you into a hug. "Shh, honey, it is not your fault. Not at all." She whispered and held you close until you started to calm down a little bit. When someone other than yourself said it, it didn't seem as big of a lie. You took some deep relaxing breaths. "Let's get you dressed and downstairs. I'll make us some tea, okay?" She asked gently and let you go from her embrace. "Yeah, okay." You said quietly and got up.

After getting into your sleepwear, you followed Donna downstairs, where she was already waiting for you with tea. "Careful, it's hot." You sat down next to her on the couch and accepted the mug she offered you. "Thank you." You held it with both hands to warm them up. Feeling the first long sip warming you up from the inside, you sank more into the couch. Donna gave you some time in silence.

"Where's El? With your parents?" You took a sip of tea and shook your head. "No. She's with Jared today. They went to a fair and he thought maybe I'd need some time for myself. She should be home soon." She looked at you like she'd want to say something, but stayed quiet instead. "Hey, I know that look, you know? You can say what you're thinking." You laughed. You had more than once received it from your loved ones. "I'm sorry, Y/N, it's just I'm worried..Are your panic attacks getting more frequent? Have you talked to your doctor about them?" Yep, you knew this was coming. "Well, they're not as often as they used to be. Sometimes they just hit me hard. Sometimes, like today, I get triggered, because my imagination decides to just screw me over." You left a little pause in the conversation.

"I saw him in there again." Thinking back to when Donna found you in front of the closet. "I knew this wasn't real, but I saw him in there. I can't get that sight out of my head. I just can't. It feels like nothing is helping me." You let out a frustrated sigh.

She put her hand over yours. "I know this is a big thing, but have you thought about moving? Maybe this house that you spent your lives together in, itself is triggering you?"

"I haven't thought about it. But it's the only home Elis knows. All her memories of her Dad are in this house. I don't know if moving would be the right decision. Maybe someday in the future, but not yet."

Suddenly your phone rang in the kitchen. You got up to answer it.

"Hey, Y/N, we'll be home in about 20. Elis is totally out, sleeping in the backseat already."

"Okay, perfect, we'll go straight to bed then. See you soon!"

You ended the call and joined Donna again. "They'll be home in 20. I thought you'd get to say hi too, but he said that Elis is sleeping already." You smiled at her.

"Oh, it's okay. I actually wanted more to check up on you today. Had a feeling I should, you know?"

"Thank you for coming. Really. I needed that."

She hugged you. "Of course, dear. Maybe she can come stay with us for the weekend next week?"

"Oh, I'm sure she'd love that."

You said your goodbyes and stayed in the kitchen to wait for Jared and Elis. While you were sitting at the kitchen table, you remembered the first Holiday party that you and Jensen hosted in your home.

Saying that you were nervous that night, would’ve definitely been an understatement. You planned the dinner for ages, before getting the menu just perfect. It wasn’t going to be anything big, just your families coming over for Christmas dinner/ housewarming, but it meant a lot to you to get this perfect. And you still managed to run out of time, so at the last minute you were cooking, decorating and then redecorating the whole house.

“Relax, Y/N, it doesn’t have to be perfect. We'll be fine.” Jensen remained calm as he tried to get you to relax. “It won't be perfect, I can't even make a simple dinner party happen.” You sniffled. He came to stand behind you, while you were slicing oranges for the cider that should've been all done by this time, and started to massage your shoulders. With a deep sigh, you finally let yourself lean into his touch. “Listen...” He put his arms tightly around you. “I know that tonight's important to you, babe, and it's important to me too, but it's still just our own people. They’d hate to see you so stressed out over a dinner for them.” He kissed the top of your head. You turned around and locked your arms around his waist. “You're probably right.” You said quietly and took a deep breath. “So how about we'll let everyone know that dinner will be a little later tonight, and we could turn this into a cooking party instead? We already have everything we need and I'm sure everyone will still have a great time.”

And he was absolutely right because that night ended up being some of the most fun that you've had. Everyone loved cooking dinner together. Jensen and his siblings fooled around the kitchen like children and more than once you had to scold them. After that dinner, both your and Jensen’s parents started to ask about when you two would have kids, joking that you’ve had practice with multiple already.

A little later Jared's car pulled up the driveway. He opened the door and you saw Elis step out, groggily walking towards the house, a new light blue bunny in her hand. "Hey, baby, how was your day?" You asked her quietly when she reached for you to pick her up. "Good." She said quietly and put her head on your shoulder and almost fell asleep again.

"So, I have to come clean. We didn't hold back on spoiling the kids today, I was actually worried if she'd fall asleep from all that sugar." He laughed. "I hope it's okay."

"Of course it is. I think she needed that, so thank you again."

You got Elis awake enough to get her to brush her teeth and into pajamas. She sat in front of you when you were loosely braiding her hair for bed.

"Mommy?" She asked tiredly.

"Yes, honey?"

She turned around to look at you. "Can you sing to me tonight? Like Daddy did?" You felt your eyes tearing up a little. Since the funeral, not once had she asked for you to sing to her. This was her’s and Jensen’s little thing together, so it meant the world to you right now. "Of course, baby." You hugged her. "But you have to know, Daddy was a much better singer than me." That got a little laugh out of her, which brought a smile to your face too.

You got up from her bed. "Come. Take your Bunny with you. You're sleeping with me tonight. You have your Bunny but I want some cuddles too." Her face lit up out of happiness and she looked so much like Jensen, especially when she smiled. She had the same bright green eyes as he did. She jumped off the bed and hugged you. "I love you!" You hugged her back. "I love you too, go on, I'll be right behind you." You said and watched as she ran off into your bedroom. You followed her in there and climbed into bed next to her, pulling her close to you.

"Do you want the same song that Daddy used to sing?" You looked down and saw her nodding silently against your chest. "Okay." You took a moment to see if you still remembered all the lyrics, even though you knew she'd probably sleep in a minute.

Hey Jude, don't make it bad

Take a sad song and make it better

In your mind you could see Jensen singing it to her for the first time, when she was almost one year old. At least that was the first time you heard him sing it.

Remember to let her into your heart

Then you can start to make it better

He was in her nursery, sitting in the rocking chair next to her crib. She had just started teething and was crying all night long.

Hey Jude, don't be afraid

You were made to go out and get her

Jensen had gotten home for a longer break from filming the show and gave you a chance to rest, so he sat up with her, trying to get her to sleep.

The minute you let her under your skin

Then you begin to make it better

You remember standing quietly by the door, listening to his voice carrying out the lyrics.

After that night, him singing this song almost instantly calmed her down in any situation. That's how amazingly good his singing was. Not that you needed any confirmation on that.

And any time you feel the pain

Hey Jude, refrain

Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

For well, you know that it's a fool

Who plays it cool

By making his world a little colder

You finished singing when you knew certainly she was asleep again and pulled her closer to you.

The thought that this song is something that will always stay with you, filled you with joy. And while it would take another year or decade, you knew that one day thinking of Jensen would bring a smile to your face and be a little less painful than it was today. You love him and you would always love him, no amount of time would ever change that.

Tags: @jackles010378 @cevansbaby-dove @deanwinchestersgirl87 @alternativeprincess94

[dreamnants-mis]

It's time for yet another "more stuff I noticed while re-reading chapters". Today's focus is on miscommunication, especially when it comes to someone protecting someone else and how easily wrong it can go when one party does things against what the other party wants.

It got really long, so uh, sorry about that.

Spoilers for up to Chapter 183!

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Billy

Ah, Billy. There's a lot to unpack about him.

Billy's greatest flaw is his kindness and protectiveness. His wish to protect others is not a bad thing on its own. Where things go badly is when he decides to protect the younger Union members by betraying them and stealing their powers so they wouldn't have to fight. But of course, right away, this action hurts Tatiana, the girl who he treated like his daughter and who saw him as a parent. Not to mention the hurt feelings of everyone he hurt in the process who saw him as an ally and friend.

There's another thing about how Billy's desire to protect actually ends up in a sense demeaning the people he wants to protect because he isn't quite seeing them as equals or colleagues or shows he trusts them.

Something I don't think really gets talked about is how Billy did everything trying to protect the Union, but as the vision of the original unaltered future showed, forming Under indirectly caused Sean to kill Fuuko during the Autumn quest and her death causes a chain reaction that leads to the end of the Union as a whole. And this would have just broken poor Tatiana since Fuuko was her friend on top of Billy's betrayal. Things only don't end this way because of Anno Un's interference, but I think it really highlights how Billy thinking what's best for those he's trying to protect is quite the opposite since he's failing to communicate with the other party and that would have destroyed the people he was trying to protect.

This all neatly fits into what Unfair's flaw is: Billy cannot use his copied abilities to the same potential as the originals because he doesn't have the same understanding the original users have with living with the abilities. Billy for example uses Undead for regenerating only, but never uses any of the Undead techniques like Parts Bullets because that technique is something only possible for someone who lived long enough with Undead to make pain more like background noise.

There's another moment Chapter 72 has a subtle moment with this with Kururu (Unchaste). Her ability works on infatuation, and this is what she has to say about Fuuko when she tries using it on her:

Note Kururu saying Fuuko "fell in love with the mere idea of romance".

If it's possible Kururu was told this about Fuuko from Billy, than I imagine that's why Kururu was on guard duty even though if you think about it, Fuuko has the best chance of escaping her since Kururu can't do much else to stop her if her ability doesn't work, which it does because Fuuko has grown to love Andy.

But this also shows Billy views Fuuko as naive and thinks of Fuuko's feelings for Andy akin to a shallow schoolgirl crush, especially since he knows Andy protects her to use her to die and therefore he needs to prevent her from fighting in something she got pretty much dragged into. Of course, the latter fact was true. But, while Billy would have no way of knowing about what Andy and Fuuko went through in the Autumn arc, he does overlook that even as early as the Unrepair arc (which happened in September) that Andy was beginning to care about Fuuko beyond just a means to off himself. And Billy also ignores the efforts Fuuko went through to train herself to be stronger. I mean, Fuuko freaking blew a part of his face off with a gun when he betrayed the Union, which I don't think someone without resolve could have done.

While Billy knows what influences the strength of Fuuko's Unluck is how much she likes a person, he also overlooks it's Fuuko that makes Unluck such a dangerous power. Fuuko is a kind,empathetic and determined person that was given a cruel ability that would hurt her the most by putting people she loves at risk or worst. Yet, even at the lowest point of her life, she was still able to cry over a man unable to die who wasn't afraid to touch her surrendering himself to save her life.

AKA Billy doesn't recognize what about Fuuko makes Juiz see her as a beacon of hope and ends up focusing on just her ability, which alone isn't enough to kill God. I think Billy wouldn't be able to summon meteorites if he'd even been able to copy Unluck. And this is something even Billy ends up understanding and accepting after the Spring battle to end up regretting deciding to betray the Union in the first place.

Actually, Billy is also a little like Victor...But where Billy ends up differing from Victor is how he is able to recognize what he just harmed the people he wanted to protect and is able to make up for harming Tatiana to stay by her side until she dies.

Err, anyway, I think I've talked enough about Billy for this post. Let's move on.

Rip and Latla

Rip actually has some parallels to Victor and Juiz while he's mainly a foil to Andy... I focus on Rip for this one, but this also applies to Latla too.

Rip we already know is doing everything to get the Ark and loop to stop Leila's disastrous operation that killed her when Unrepair manifested, and he's done a lot of things (ex.cut his legs off, threaten people, kill people, etc.) in order to make that happen. Therefore, the other party is deceased.

But something interesting is how Chapter 109 reveals everything Rip and Latla have been doing is completely against anything Leila wanted for him or Latla to do. What Leila wanted from them was for them both to forget about her and focus on using their abilities to save others. I interpret these words as a genuine belief in them that despite their abilities being ruined by their Negator powers, there was something they could do with them to help others. Leila wanting them both to not focus on her death but rather the happiness they gave her despite her limited time to then focus on bringing happiness to others.

(Forgetting is actually another thing that pops up every now and then come to think of it.)

Unfortunately for Leila, Rip and Latla only despair and become desperate to do anything to save her, completely forgetting what Leila truly wanted and leading to them wanting the Ark to save her and only her. Something that ultimately ends badly for them both, and Rip in particular becoming a shadow of his former self to get to the Ark.

(Doesn't this sound familiar?)

Rip only remembers after both he and Latla are fatally wounded what Leila would have wanted would have been to work with the Union to kill God, the one truly responsible for her death.

A little detail I've I think is important to think about is the cover of Volume 13:

Leila's posture in this cover has her hands clasped together as if praying away from both Latla and Rip. We don't know what expression she has on her face, but I imagine being forced to watch your childhood friend and sister do anything for your sake, even though that was nothing you wanted, subjecting someone else to unhappiness, would make it a pained expression.

Is Leila praying for someone to save Rip and Latla from themselves before they do something that can never be taken back?

Based on Leila's words on her deathbed, I suspect if Rip had been able to loop and if she knew what it took to save her life was making another man lose the love of his life and dooming humanity in the process, I doubt she would ever be happy with knowing her happiness was at the cost of pretty much everyone else's happiness.

In fact, in the Sick arc, Leila shows signs she doesn't want to protected by Rip and Latla all the time, since she volunteers willingly to have Fuuko operate on her on the battlefield to be bait for Sick as her way of being able to fight alongside them. I mean, I think that speaks a lot you're willing to make yourself bait for a living personification of the world's illnesses and diseases without hesitating that's giving the organization dedicated to fighting them a tough time. So yes, it does still show Rip and Latla both due to their love for Leila end up forgetting what she would have actually wanted them to do, hence miscommunication.

Going back to Leila on Volume 13's cover thinking about it in the context of the Sick arc, perhaps Leila's praying may have been not only a wish for someone to save Rip and Latla from themselves, but a wish that she can protect Rip and Latla in turn after everything they're done for her, which is something she may be able to do in the 101st loop that wouldn't have been possible if Rip had ridden the Ark to save her.

Who knows?

Juiz and Victor

I talked about these two in a different post, but I really wanted to talk about it a little more here because of how these two are mirrors of Fuuko and Andy.

In this case, the miscommunication is very mutual on both ends. I think in the end, the ultimate breakdown of their partnership came when the two stopped being able to communicate with each other. As we learn, what Juiz and Victor want is for the other to be happy. But 99 loops of failure embittered and changed them both for the worst (Juiz became increasingly unfettered and Victor became nihilistic, and both became increasingly distant from their humanity).

Perhaps both of them ended up unable to be honest with each other, Victor not being able to articulate how painful it was to watch Juiz to become someone he was starting to recognize over an impossible task, and Juiz being unable to see what she was doing was starting to make Victor despair.

This part in particular where I felt that disconnect in communication between them. And that showed throughout the earlier conversation where it almost felt Victor couldn't say what he actually wanted as if he thought nothing he would say would get through to Juiz.

And well...we all know what happens next.

In the end, Victor hit the breaking point and tries to kill Juiz after deciding the only way for Juiz to be happy is for her to forget killing God and him and live the last loop peacefully. This is contrasted with how Juiz kept going in the first place because she wanted Victor to be happy, which wouldn't be possible if he kept being unable to die, resulting in her sealing Victor away with Remember so she can continue to try killing God, even if Victor wouldn't be with her anymore.

And the sad thing is in the end, neither of them get what they really want.

Juiz does indeed die like Victor wanted, but it's clear Victor realizes that it wasn't at all what he really wanted, because Victor became so disconnected from his humanity he probably only could understand why the others kept fighting after he lost the person that mattered the most to him. And it's sad on Juiz' end because she never did get to see Victor truly happy again, and could only wish to be able to meet him again in the final loop.

We might not know what might have been Victor's true wish unless he makes an appearance (and he probably will, considering there's actually a line that indicates another Negator near Void hidden by a text bubble in Fuuko's Negator roadmap).

Though I could theorize what both Victor and Juiz wanted in the end was to be able to be happy together. And hopefully, that may not be an impossible task.

BONUS

"Oh my gosh, you still have more to say?"

Err...yeah.

While on the bus today, I remembered that Rip is a foil to Andy and it reminded me of the conversation Andy and Victor had in Chapter 110 that I think highlights something about this theme:

Andy admits he's actually like Rip and Latla in that he wants to see the person he loves happy. But what's interesting is how he also knows, considering the person Fuuko is, if something happened to even someone considered a foe, she wouldn't be happy. Therefore, for her to be happy, they are both necessary for that, leading to the conundrum of whether or not to let them take the points. Ultimately, in order for Fuuko to loop, Andy has to fatally wound Rip because he's beyond reasoning with, and that is something he isn't happy about doing.

It's a subtle thing, but it does show something interesting about why both Andy and Fuuko are the beacons of hope for humanity winning, and I think that's just neat.

Okay, I promise, that's all for this rambling!

[isa-beenme]

Hi! I really enjoyed the story of Helion you wrote. I would ask you if you could write more of his stories when you have time and inspiration. Thank you!

Inspiration I had since you sent the request, time on the other hand I just had now 😀🔫

I honestly wished I could get money from this and never go to college again (I love what I study, don't get me wrong, but OH GODS how tiring it is)

Anyway, sweet Helion coming to rescue my mental health, this is actually from the same universe as this one but isn't necessarily a continuation

Also, I don't know why, but braids match Day Court's aesthetic SO MUCH, any kind of braid, honestly, and I love them for that

Serendipity

The day started hot, and you felt even hotter every day your pregnancy advanced. Now in a sense of feeling sexy, more like overheating. You spent some vacation days in Night Court during their lovely winter, the cold definitely helping your morning sickness, during spring break you enjoyed it very much in your own Court, all the fruits and veggies that only your home could provide you. And then summer came. And now you felt like a pudding melting under the sun.

Luckily another reason for you to love your Court appeared during this time: the clothes. Everything was so light and soft that honestly made you love your home even more. You woke up sweating with Helion's arms around you and quickly took a shower to free yourself from the droplets of sweat. You chose one of the many robes in light shiny colors to put it on, your belly, almost eight months in, looked pretty and roundy on the dresses, making you even happier.

Even if you weren't born part of the royalty you could swear you were glowing. You put your hair in two big braids and tied them up in your head, making a crown which made your face show up more. All of that time took your husband to only wake up and change his clothes. You made him sit between your legs in bed while you braid his hair and he played with the hem of your dress.

-You're ready for today? - Asked you once you finished, kissing the top of his head.

-What do we have today? - Honestly could be anything, your mind hasn't been the same since the pregnancy.

-Lucien is here - He announced, as if it would tell you everything you needed to know.

-Oh? For what? - Your dearest son has been coming in and out to Court for literally everything. You didn't feel like working? He covered you. You and Helion were on vacation? He brings all his friends and they work in command for a while. Another commemorative party? He was here to plan and make sure everything was perfect.

-Decide the baby's name? - The phrase came out in a question, and your eyes almost popped out of your face with realization.

-I forgot that - You whispered more to yourself than to him, but Helion heard somehow and laughed at you, running to hug you from behind and kiss your entire exposed neck.

-Don't worry, me and Lucien made sure to choose at least a hundred names each - His hands caressing your belly made you relax in his embrace, and you let him guide you to one of the solars in the palace where your oldest son was already expecting both of you for breakfast.

Your eyes lightened up in seconds just from the sight of the amazing table waiting for you to devour it completely. As the three of you sat around the table laden with sweets and treats, Lucien and Helion began to discuss the important matter at hand - the name of the baby you were carrying. Helion, being the father, was brimming with excitement and eager to pick the perfect name that would symbolize his love for his second child.

Helion's eyes sparkled with enthusiasm as he suggested names rooted in the traditions of the Day Court, tying it to their history and ancestry. Lucien, who was a blend of both Day Court and Autumn Court, chimed in with suggestions that would embrace the uniqueness of his sibling's heritage.

And well… you were happy with the food. As you haven't prepared anything to contribute with the discussion you sat happily with the amount of good candies and fruit flavored foods at your disposal. Your pregnancy was being gentle to you and food tastes were only highlighted to you (like fruit and sweets) and the only thing you had to leave behind was some scents in your bathroom. And the heat.

The conversation was lively, and the atmosphere was filled with love and anticipation. Helion, always the smart one, spoke about the significance of names in the world, and how they often carried stories and meanings that could shape a person's destiny. Lucien shared tales from his own travel experiences, highlighting how names held a special place in everyone's minds.

As they went through a multitude of names, each one sparking excitement in Helion and Lucien's eyes, but none of them felt like "the one" just yet. You chuckled to yourself, fitting more food inside of you and feeling the baby kick as if sharing in the excitement of choosing its own name.

As the morning went on, the discussions veered into playful nicknames and endearing terms they could use for the little one. Helion suggested "Sunlight" for the way the child would light up their lives, while Lucien countered with "Moonbeam" for the glow that would guide them through the darkness. Ridiculous and corny, to say the least.

At some point of the talk, Helion and Lucien began to consider combining their own names to create a unique one for the child. "Helien" was the first suggestion, but it didn't quite feel right. Then they tried "Lucion," which seemed a bit too complicated. Or horrendous, in your words.

-Okay, so, we'll finish this with a top five girls name, and then we can start with the boys name - Lucien said, finally closing the notebook that contained a ridiculous amount of names written in it and taking a sip of his drink.

-We won't discuss boys names - You finally gave your opinion, making both of them turn their heads to you, confused at your sudden interruption.

-Darling, you said you didn't want to know the gender until the baby is born, we need to discuss and decide both - Helion spoke, bringing his hand to your tummy for the thousandth time since the conversation started.

-But I'm telling you this is a girl. I'm sure - You weren't backing down on your decision, it was a girl and no more conversation needed.

-You can't be completely sure so we'll have boys names just in case - Lucien said, only awakening a anger you didn’t know you had.

-I'm the one creating this child, okay? We've already discussed this, it's a girl - You put an end to the conversation.

-We? Who is "we"? - Your husband asked, confused since you and him never discussed gender preferences. But you had yours.

-Me and the baby, I told her that I wanted a baby girl and she agreed, being a male isn't cool and I already told her that - You said with all the confidence you could master in that moment, both males fighting to not laugh at your antics.

-But isn't it better if we have a boy name just for precaution? - Lucien tried once again, the look you gave him was enough to make him sit back in his chair and shut up.

-No! We don't need precaution, I'm telling you it's a girl - Your stress level was getting higher every time they went against your decision. You weren't completely sure, obviously. But you were sure!

-Okay then, a girl it is - Helion said, giving up on the discussion and holding you in his arms, filling your face with thousands of kisses - But if it's a boy we're gonna name him Helion the Second.

-As you wish, it'll be a girl anyway - You mumbled for yourself, internally making a note to choose a gender neutral name in the end. Just for… you know, precaution :)

[studentbyday]

the burnout is real. i have to do smth about it b4 it gets worse bc i really want to enjoy the courses i'm taking rn and i WAS able to enjoy it in the beginning... but the only way i can feel okay doing smth other than study is if i finish this week's stuff by friday... wish me luck cuz the motivation and willpower are quickly draining! 😅😣 (also the fact that the sun's setting noticeably earlier is NOT helping [as much as i love autumn, this is my least favorite part XD])

productivity:

mol bio notes (i think i'm feeling confused bc the chemistry of DNA polymerase activity is just so disorganized in my brain 😑)

finished biochem notes for today + watched ninja nerd video on tca cycle bc i didn't feel like reading (and it actually surprisingly helped reduce the overwhelm bc he included a lot of info i got to skip over cuz we don't need to know it for this course 😅)

self-care:

yoga (like 10/30 mins bc i was so tired 😪)

[keii-starz]

answer any or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

1. I wish (no) 😔

2. I drink both!!! but I don't drink coffee that often, and when I do, it's only if it has milk and sugar in it! when I drink tea, I usually drink milk tea, or I add milk to my matcha tea, but sometimes I just drink regular tea!

3. DAYDREAM by HIGHLIGHT!!!

4. I sleep on my back, but I actually prefer sleeping on my side!! I just dont sleep on my side most of the time because I sleep with headphones on, and its kinda uncomfortable sleeping on my side with headphones on

5. yes!! my little teddy bear that I got from my bestie!!! I named him lucy

6. hmm I love both a lot, but I'd say drawing!

7. ummm it doesn't really matter for me but I'll say teo because of my blanket I've had since childhood (its too small to cover me now so ofc I have to use another blanket)

8. hmm for band, it'd be LUCY!!! (K-band) I think the violin in their music makes their songs sound even nicer! but my fav part is obv sangyeop's soft voice :3

but for artists in general...hmm there's quite a few, so I'll name them by language! 1. CRAVITY (korean boy group), ZICO (korean soloist, k-hiphop), COLDE (korean soloist, k-r&b), 2. yoh kamiyama (japanese), TUYU (japanese band), 3. jeremy zucker, suggi (english)

9. february 11!

14. sage green!!

15. autumn! not too cold or hot, and not as much bugs!

19. I do! we've been friends since 4th grade!

21. it was great!!! I had so much fun and got to eat a lot of good food!!

24. sometime last week, I think tuesday..I think it had smth to do with my insecurities or like. how I keep getting the feeling I'm not wanted

28. my mental and physical states both suck a ton, but since I've returned home for spring break, im trying to convince myself to not worry about anything and just think of this as a lil vacation just until this is over

31. im definitely looking forward to moving out of my mom's house or just not staying with my family in general...I want to get an apartment where I feel relaxed at when I turn into an adult

32. if I could go anywhere right now...I would probably go to my aunt's house in florida..tbh, I wouldn't say her cooking's (sorry auntie 😔) the best, but I'd probably feel way...calmer? there and less likely to cry so often

34. my favorite flower is the star of bethlehem!!! it's really really pretty!!! im pretty sure it's a poisonous flower tho lol

39. all the time 😊

42. I prefer cloudy days! sunny days are nice, but I don't like getting the sun in my eyes very much, plus the sky is prettier with clouds :3

44. 5 of my fav blogs: @azulashengrottospiano @dove-da-birb @twistwonderlanddevotee @alexisomnias @l7k-a

45. I have 2 siblings! an older brother and younger sister, who is the youngest, but if I didn't tell u this and you met us both irl, you'd probably think shes the older one based on height and personality lol

47. I would die for any of my friends in a heartbeat

48. music!!! I CANNOT go without my music I tell u!!!

49. nope!!! you see, my phone doesn't tell me my phone number, so I always have to ask other people what it is 😐 (my other phone did tho)

50. uhhh hmmm this one is really hard bcuz I don't think I know anyone irl who I can trust with my life but probably...no one..?