#Aka …… contributing nothing but a child

[justmewondering56]

[reasonsforhope]

I can't take the state of the world anymore, every day things constantly get worse and there's literally nothing we can do. Every time things get better they're immediately undone by forces more powerful than us. I just want things to go back to the way they were before when it felt like there was hope, now it feels like humanity is doomed and will never, ever get better. I just want to die so I can finally know peace from this evil.

Hey. I'm really, really sorry you're having such a hard time. That sounds like an incredibly painful headspace to be in.

Please find someone you can talk to and who can help you - whether that's a peer counselor or a good friend or a trained mental health professional. Especially a trained mental health professional, if you can. You can find a really thorough list of crisis hotlines listed by country here.

Also, I realllllly recommend getting off any websites or social media that are contributing to you feeling like this, or at least block all the people/tags posting things that are making you feel like this. Negativity bias is real - the news/internet doesn't accurately reflect the world and neither does the way your brain perceives it

In the meantime, a few quick words/facts of comfort. I hope they can give you at least some reassurance or solace.

We literally have more reason to hope we can solve climate change than ever before x

Starting about six months ago, major international energy reports have come out for the first time showing that we have a visible, concrete path to staying under 1.5 degrees celsius x

Twenty, even ten years ago, scientists talked about whether we could possibly manage to limit global warming to 4 or 5 degrees Celsius. Now, those numbers aren't even on the map - we're talking 1.5 or 2 degrees Celsius. We've cut expected warming in half in under a decade x

Renewable energy is growing so exponentially it's now "unstoppable" x

Two hundred years ago, in 1800, there wasn't a single "liberal democracy" - a democracy that gives all citizens the right to vote - on the planet. Just over one hundred years ago, in 1900, there were five of them. Today, roughly half the countries (aka roughly 100) on the planet fall into this category. International politics is so often two steps forward, one step back, but this is actually an astonishing pace of progress in the grand scheme of things x

For all of human history, until just over 200 years ago, roughly half of all children died. Across times, across cultures. Half of all children died by the age of 15. Half of them. Today, globally, that same child mortality rate is only 4%. We did that. We changed what was previously an eternal, inescapable, and horrific condition of human existence, and we are going to keep making that rate go down x

Two steps forward, one step back, is still moving forward. There are so, so, so many reasons that we are not already doomed. There are so many reasons to think the future is going to be bright

To anyone struggling with thoughts like this: please, please give yourself the chance to see it

[thewritetofreespeech]

Could I request Vanitas finding out his s/o was a former Paladin but got kicked out because she showed mercy to a vampire mother and her children? S/o's loyalty to the Chasseur was already wavering but being told to kill a mother and her children made her completely lose faith in them.

“Hold still.”

Despite the order, Vanitas flinches on instinct. Although he has a very high pain tolerance thanks to his past, his psychological pain threshold is very low. Aka: he hypes it up in his head too much. “It’s hurts!”

“I haven’t done anything yet!” [Y/N] snapped back at him.

They eventually sigh and let his arm go. “Just…stay here then. I’ll go look for some bandages and supplies. You work on getting over this so we can actually fix your arm.” They get up to leave and disappear into the shadows for their search. Leaving Vanitas alone.

He sat there for a while. Huffing and puffing about having to sit there like a child while he waited for them. Then, he suddenly heard the sound of his name, “Vanitas-san!”

The black-haired man tensed and grew pale as he turned, hoping he was just delusional from blood loss. But no. It was certainly Roland.

“What are you doing here?? Oh my goodness, you’re hurt!”

“Yeah. It’s nothing.” Vanitas coiled into himself on instinct. Though Roland was very nice, and an optimistic idiot, he still belonged to the organization that tortured him for years. “My uh…friend is getting me some bandages.”

“Awwww! That’s very nice of them!” Roland cheered. “It’s good to have a partner when you are fighting evil. This set back is just a minor hurdle, but proves to the fortitude of your cause!” Vanitas really wished he had some sunglasses to block out the blinding rays of Roland’s spirit.

“Ok. I have the bandages. Now if you can just hold still we can get…..” [Y/N] trailed off as they returned. Their eyes and Roland locking and an unfamiliar expression on the idiot’s face he hadn’t seen before. Surprise.

“[Y/N]….chan….”

“What are you doing here Roland?”

“Oh I was…on a mission…” He explained. “Hunting evil vampires.”

[Y/N] arched a brow. Probably at the comment of ‘evil vampires’. Vanitas was surprised too as he thought that the Chasseurthought all vampires were evil. “What are you…?”

“I’m here with….” Vanitas offered a little wave with his good hand to contribute to this awkward conversation. “Are you here alone? Or are you with….”

As if on cue, there is the distant call of Roland’s name. “It’s Olivier.” He told them. “Do you want to-“No. I can’t.” [Y/N] cut in quickly.

Roland nodded. “Don’t worry. I’ll distract him and get him away from here while you get Mr. Vanitas out of here.”

“Roland. You can’t-“I won’t tell anyone.” His turn to interject.

[Y/N] put the bandages away and helped Vantias, who was still very confused, to his feet. The Chasseuralready making his way back to his comrade. “Roland!” He paused and turned back to look at [Y/N]. “If you need anything…”

The blonde just smiled. “Don’t worry about me! I’ll be fine!” Then he was gone.

Alone, Vanitas turned to [Y/N], “what was that about?” He was confused, and honestly a little jealous. There was clearly some history there. A history he knew nothing about between his partner and man who was once their enemy turned friend. “How do you know Roland? What was he talking about not telling?”

[Y/N] looked scared and dejected. Another expression he hadn’t seen before today. They swallow a lump in their throat before they tell him. “Roland and I used to be friends. When I was their Sapphire….”

Vanitas was shocked to the point that his whole heart felt like it stopped. They used to be Chasseur?? Sworn to the very people how tortured and nearly killed him!! “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“It was irrelevant. I’m not that person anymore.”

“Irrelevant?! Irrelevant?! You used to belong to the church and the people who….” He was too traumatized to even say out loud that they did to him. For the sake of ‘science’ and the holy order. “How could you not tell me?! How could you work for those people?!”

“I know exactly what kind of people they are Vanitas! It’s why I left!”

Vanitas stopped being angry for a moment and returned to shock again. To his knowledge, no one left the Chasseur. One, their life expectancy was short. If they weren’t killed by vampires, the treatments and drugs they were given drastically shortened their life (all for the cause). Two, it was forbidden for Chasseur to ever leave service. They were bound by their oath until death. They couldn’t just…leave.

“You’re lying.” He accused. So, [Y/N] sighed and told him the very sad story of why they left.

They had believed in the cause, at first. You don’t join the Church without believing. They were very good at their job and training, and eventually promoted to Sapphire. Second only to their Diamond. One day they were sent on a mission to irradicate a vampire village somewhere in the French foothills, but they were amazed to discover how civilized they were. No violence. No secret horrors. The people had been kind to them and in the end they couldn’t do it. Sending word that these people needed to be left alone in reciprocating peace that they showed. But the church didn’t take kindly to that.

They dispatched more Chasseur and with their force wiped the village from existence. [Y/N] was taken into custody for heresy. Clearly ‘manipulated by the vampires and their illusionary tactics’ and sent for ‘reeducation’. Sometime during the process, [Y/N] couldn’t remember how long they had been there for while they were tormented under the guise of salvation, they escaped.

“I’m not sure if they sent word that I was dead, or an excommunicated traitor, but they didn’t come after me. I still had to hide, but started a new life for myself away from the church. After that, I met you. That time and now are completely different places for me. You must understand that.”

Vanitas listened to their story and tried to process it. “I didn’t lie to you. Or…I didn’t mean to lie to you, if we consider omission a lie. If you don’t think you can trust me, or if this is too much for us, then let me know and I’ll fix your arm and go.”

Vanitas reached out with his good arm. Snatching theirs in his grasp. As if on instinct at the suggestion of them leaving him. “I don’t want you to go.” [Y/N] breathed a sigh of relief. “But…I will need sometime with this.”

[Y/N] nodded. They patched up his arm in silence and they left together in silence as well. They would be back to normal eventually. Or whatever version of normal their lives were. For now, this was just a lot to process. But if Vanitas could be unlikely friends with a Jasper, then perhaps he could make a relationship work with a Sapphire.

[hellaversity]

Look, I can understand where people are coming from when they criticize the portryal of the female characters in Helluva Boss.

But extending that same criticism to Hazbin Hotel is where I draw the fucking line.

Hazbin literally has a female protagonist with her own independant goal, who has to work hard for it because people constantly belittle her ideas and beliefs, and eventually gets proven right when it works in the end. Charlie tried to do what was thought impossible, and accomplished it when Sir Pentious gets ascended to heaven. Her love interest has her own backstory before meeting Charlie, where she used to work for the same exorcists who are responsible for nearly driving Charlie's people to extinction and almost making her fail to redeem anyone at the hotel. Vaggie kept this a secret from Charlie since they met, and Charlie feels betrayed by Vaggie to the point of not feeling like she should trust her anymore until it gets resolved. Vaggie has more characterizarion in season 1 of Hazbin alone than Millie does in the entirety of Helluva Boss pre-Hell's Belle's.

Lute is one of the main antagonists. She contributed just as much to the genocide as Adam did, is openly bigoted like Adam, has more common sense than Adam, is the only exorcist with a name, is just as much of a threat to the hotel as Adam is and most of all she survives while he doesn't. Sera approved of the genocide, but felt guilty about it because Adam would've probably killed her or something, which Emily calls her out on regardless. Speaking of Emily, she joins Charlie in on calling heaven out for their hypocrisy and literally says she detests being treated like a child.

Velvette is no less evil than the other two Vees. She sells love potions (aka date rape drugs) and treats her employees cruelly just like they do. She also disrepected the other overlords without giving two shits. Carmilla wasn't having any of Velvette's BS, is protective of Zestial, literally killed an exorcist (despite angels being much more powerful than demons, so that's pretty impressive on it's own) to protect her daughters and figured out that Vaggie was a fallen angel just by knowing what her choice of weapon was. She encouraged Vaggie to fight for the whole hotel, not just for Charlie. Cherri Bomb has an interesting rivalry with Sir Pentious in the pilot that eventually grows into a healthy relationship, and she goes against Valentino just to help and comfort Angel Dust in the Addict music video. Sadly she doesn't do much after that, but at least she got to participate in fighting for the hotel in The Show Must Go On, so it's better than nothing I suppose.

Rosie is one of the few people who Alastor has a genuine friendship with. She played a big part in Charlie trying to give a speech to Cannibal Town, and encouraged her to trust Vaggie again. Mimzy, while I dislike her, is the whole reason why the plot of Dad Beat Dad even happened. She tried to use her friendship with Alastor to get herself out of trouble, so the episode techically wouldn't of happened without her. It's also telling that Alastor didn't eat her or try to kill her for screwing things up, since he's done just that to others for much less. Even Niffty, who's mostly just there for comic relief, is another character who Alastor gets along with. He may own her soul, but he's a lot nicer to her than he is to Husk, who he keeps on a chain and abuses in a not-so-different way that Valentino does to Angel Dust, only without SA involved. Niffty is also the one who kills Adam in the end, so there you go.

That's a BUNCH more than what can be said for most of the ladies in Helluva. (Most of whom I also like, but their writing really does leave something to be desired, though it does seem to be slightly improving with the Hell's Belles short and the promise of a Millie focused episode in Ghostfuckers.) For the record I don't think the writing for the female characters in HH is perfect by any means, but it's a far cry from being anywhere near as bad as HB like many antis claim it is. I think they just say that shit because HB takes place in the same universe as Hazbin and both shows were created by the same person, (aka the guilt by association fallacy) or they just think Vivzie can't do anything right no matter what she does.

[horizon-verizon]

The fact Alys killed FOR Daemon. Probably the most romantic thing someone has done for him, lmao. I hope they have sex and she does get pregnant with Daemon’s child, FINALLY someone who match his freak (you’d never hear the end of it from some quarters if Daemon did, the same people who are championing Rhaenyra cheating).

But seriously, Daemon asking Alys for help, her actually helping him and the last hallucination she gives him is that of reconciliation with his brother… I’m still processing this and what it’ll mean down the line. I need to know her motives because it can’t just be helping out Daemon ?? She calls them both chess pieces at the hands of larger forces… How far into the future has she seen ?

Besides that point she knows how Daemon dies, she told him “he’ll die in this place”, so why does she even help him ? And what about Aemond ? Like I wonder what the end goal is for her. Since she will know Aemond dies, imagine she doesn’t warn him about it when she met him which will be 100% funny.

First, this is nothing against you anon. But I don't take HotD's writing and characters at face value or value them bc I believe much of HotD's writng is superficial and too contradictory for that. Even without considering how they have made it so much easier to hate and misunderstand several F&B characters, general ASoIaF lore, etc., enough for people to think this war wasn't as anti-woman-leader focused as it was bc the showrunners have blatantly said they wish to make this more about "both teams bad, Targs are uniquely selfish".

Answer: (in case you weren't being facetious) Sorry, nothing is ever going to beat for me Alys getting impregnated by the craziest bitch of the greens, aka, anti bastard team. Other than that, show!Alys is not doing for Daemon but for the Riverland smallfolk, so yeah she doesn't care for Grover Tully that much. I believe she's meant to parallel Mysaria in HotD's endless love for "parallels".

I don't think the writers know what her end goal is, bc even this is not all that clear in the book as she disappears from history with her son. And I don't think that she has much to anticipate since unless HotD is trying to say that Jojen Reed was Alys' descendant, how did a Targ father contribute to any of Jojen or Meera's abilities in GoT or ASoIaF? Nah, this storyline is weird & jumbled.

As for Daemon asking for help, I think this is the "toxic-man-learns-he's-not-that-special-and-asks-for-a-woman's-help-to-raise-women's-importance" arc HotD has out for him in this season. An unnecessary one that contradicts the first one--and no 1x10 was bullshit esp the choking scene, so 🤷🏿‍♂️.

Finally, I don't blame some people having issue if Daemon did cheat with Alys bc if they are, like you, trying to enjoy HotD for its own thing and in this iteration of Daemon, he did choke Rhaenyra out. So yeah, he has less of a high horse if he did cheat. Other people's dislike for Daemon cheating may rather just come from their misunderstanding of his character, book or show, so they don't count.

[hopepaigeturner]

The Coda

So, to summarise all these flashbacks serve numerous purposes...

Enable the audience to explain some of Sophie’s traumatic/learned behaviours. These include:

Her panic attacks e.g. @ My Cottage

Smothering her laughter/emotions with her hand

Why she doesn’t smile fully…

Where Sophie’s scars come from.

Audience become aware of negative/traumatic messaging embedded in Sophie.

“You make everyone miserable”-> AKA you destroy everything.

Constant need to be ‘silent’.

“You are the bastard child of a whore”-> undeserving of love and a lack of belonging.

Being undesirable-> everyone stepping away

“Remember this carefully, Sophie. In this world, bastards of noblemen and servants do not get dreams or a happily ever after. They get what they deserve—nothing.”

This in turn will help audiences empathise with Sophie about why she is so closed off, contribute to Sophie’s internal arc, and explain why she rejects Benedict’s proposal during my version of the sofa scene:

class difference + lack of feeling worthy of love=rejection.

But there is another, sweeter reason for establishing these traumatic messages/behaviours in Sophie... and that is to show how Benedict actively counters these.

Benedict always stepping towards Sophie.

“You make everyone miserable…”

Sophie’s absence makes Benedict miserable while her presence makes him shine. So much so that his family see a transformation of him back to the laid-back, joyful manner of before.

“You must be silent…”

Benedict saying in the kitchen of My Cottage “You never have to be silent, not on my account, never with me.”

Benedict’s words when he talked to Anthony: “I just want to hold her hand…I just want to listen to her voice. She is so wise and intriguing and inspiring...”

Benedict constantly removing Sophie’s hand from her mouth when she tries to smother a giggle, laugh or sob. (e.g. Swing scene)

 Benedict delighting in her reading poetry to him while sick and talking with her at My Cottage.

You are the bastard child of a whore”/ Feeling unworthy of love.

Benedict never addressing her as a ‘bastard’ but always as ‘illegitimate’ or ‘by-blow’. 

Benedict embracing her when she reveals the parts of her past so many have stepped away from. As he says in my version of the Sofa scene:

You are Sophie. You are a woman who is kind and compassionate even after a life of hardship that would bow or break even the strongest of men. You are a woman who stands by her convictions no matter how many people try and sway you, no matter how many lashes you endure or even if the other road is easier. You, Sophie Beckett, are brilliant, in mind, heart and soul. I am inspired by you; I am humbled by you, and I am honoured to be in your presence and awed by every facet of your being. That is who you are, Sophie.” His voice rasps slightly, as if he is on the edge of speechlessness. “That is who you are, Sophie.”

Benedict running into a prison, Bendict willing to get into conflict with his family and Benedict willing to give up everything because none of it is worth as much as her.

Her physical scars

In their love scenes, Benedict tenderly kissing over the scar on her neck and whispering:

“Your scars are beautiful because they are markings that you survived. Testaments to the strength you had to pull yourself through the burning trials of life and emerge with your heart blazing. That is why I call them beautiful.”

I’ve said before that the main people who ‘aid’ Sophie in the season should be women for Sophie’s plot is a great way to tell the story of how women together can enact change.

Meanwhile, Benedict will help Sophie emotionally. He will show her that he loves Sophie for who she is. He will show her that she is worth of love, and help her emotionally heal from her trauma. And these little moments, in contrast to the flashbacks, can show the audience how well the two suit.  

How these two are perfect for each other. And if they manage this well...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Masterlist

PREV

As always I’d love to hear your ideas/corrections/opinions and always open to chat or requests!

So, check out the list here, for more of my ideas.

Or check out the general arcs of my prospective S4 here.

That's the end of the series! But stay tuned, as coming next week is my review of S3...all of it

[bravevolunteer]

woe a handful baby michael headcanons be upon ye ( aka little kid range / before he lost his whimsy )

getting it out of the way, the balloon boy one. baby photo of him in the exact balloon boy outfit, striped shirt / propeller hat and all ( it's very 70s kids clothing! ). michael hates it so much it's his least favorite photo he wants to set it on fire

not only was balloon boy's appearance inspired by that photo, but he's indicative of some baby michael behaviors ( yes, this is solely based on the afton STAFF bot table in security breach where he kind of looks like bb ).

first example of that? he was a yapper. not exactly around strangers ( he wasn't very good with unfamiliar people for awhile ), but with those he knew? YAP CITY. hi. hi. hello. hi. do you wanna hear about the intricate lore of the pirate game he's playing? no? too bad!

he would also pop up in unexpected places and surprise people a lot. despite being a yapper / pretty loud, that was when he chose to: he was a pretty sneaky kid. quiet on his feet, he'd poke his head into your business and jumpscare you ( definitely did this SO many times while william was working )

he would also... swipe little things he should not have been taking— one of those kids who had a klepto phase. nothing of TOO much importance most of the time and it wasn't malicious, he just liked to grab things and put them in his pockets for the impulse of it

william or his mom thought there was thirty minutes of peace? wrong. when he was quiet he made a mess in the bathroom and took scissors to his hair.

it's honestly a miracle he didn't get his hands in the springlocks and injure himself severely. probably ALMOST happened at least once though

this penchant for chaos and his sneaky behavior earned him the ( affectionate and exasperated ) nickname fox / little fox / etc

this contributed towards michael ALSO being a big inspiration behind foxy ( of course both this and the balloon boy one is not definitive if williams/henrys don't vibe with it )

speaking of, pirate phase real. this could have come before as another point of inspiration for the character or afterwards, since foxy WAS genuinely michael's favorite. definitely photos of him in stupid little costumes. he whacked his siblings with that toy sword though rip

leash kid.

michael did experience some jealousy issues when liz was born ( she's middle child to me, can change upon portrayal )— this turned out more similar to the normal reaction a kid has when they're first dealing with a new sibling, it got to him so badly with evan later because of multiple factors for another post because that's an essay. however, his chaos behaviors DID increase

as per my interpretation, michael and charlie were born around similar times ( maybe around 1-2 years younger? ) and were naturally each other's first friends as kids

[necr0lysis]

i like seeing posts in the autism tag that talk about being disabled. yeah that post about happy stimming is fun but look here's some information that might make someone realize they're disabled! because for me, like two years ago it wasn't "i'm struggling to do this because i'm disabled and i need some help with it" it was "oh yeah that's just another one of the things that i can't do for some reason. it'll probably screw me over one day but i can't do anything about it"

so here i give you a long (long does not mean extensive, there are a lot of other things i do not mention in here like my semiverbalism and dysphagia, these things also contribute to my support needs as well as the things listed below) rundown of what i struggled with in terms of taking care of myself. i would say in my childhood and early teens i was low support needs but still a child who wasn't getting help from adults and now i would say i'm medium support needs as an adult as moving out and coming out of a huge dissociative period + being in burnout for so many years caused regression. i definitely was more capable of living on my own in middle school than i am now.

TW: for talk about abuse, neglect, body fluids, disordered eating habits, mention of drugs, etc

how i struggle to care for myself

as a kid (ages 5-12) *being half way cared for by my mentally ill mother

toileting: delays in learning how to use a toilet and knowing when i have to go. purposely urinated in clothes when i did not want to stop what i was doing

brushing/washing hair: my mom would chase me around the house to get my to brush my hair. i absolutely hate the feeling of it and it would cause meltdowns often and my mom would end up hitting me with the brush asking why i was being so difficult. i was difficult because it hurts! we decided to cut my hair short "like ellen" as i said when i was a kid because it was turning into a huge mat every week that my mom had to work at with a huge comb and a bunch of conditioner. i am a cis woman and very shortly i had to move down to NC where nobody knew if i was a lesbian or a trans guy but god do they hate both of those types of people down there!!! but i couldn't take care of my hair so it stayed short until i was 18 and caused so many issues for me.

eating: meltdowns when i had to eat "real food" aka stuff that's not my safe food. delays in learning how to use utensils and got very angry when they said i couldn't eat with my hands

brushing teeth: very similar to hair brushing. i did not enjoy the feeling of brushing my teeth so my mom would tell me to do it and i just wouldn't. it didn't matter to me.

emotional/mental health: did not ever understand or talk about my emotions. would go outside and run down a hill with shorts on then halfway down i would let my legs give out so i would fall the rest of the way down and scrape up my hands and knees. did not know why i did that when i was younger now i know it was self injury stims because of emotions

appropriateness/responsibility: frequently got overstimulated by my clothes and walked around both the house and the neighborhood naked. i remember my neighbors calling the cops one time

teen years (ages 13-18): *being abused by alcoholic stepmother

toileting: was bothered by the sound of the toilet flushing and also it wasn't always safe to leave my room so i would have to pee in cups often :/ as i got older i started to feel ashamed of it but couldn't really do much about it

brushing/washing hair: my short hair was washed maybe once a month in middle school and once a week in high school. still never brushed. my hair has been thinning since age 14 and i honestly don't know if it's stress or malnutrition or something else but yeah my whole life i've felt like a very ugly Thing.

eating: from age 11 to 15 i lived in NC with my father and step mother. my father did nothing while my stepmother was very open from the beginning that the reason they did not feed me was because i was "acting r*tarded" and "maybe i would get some food if i started acting more like a human being". this was all kinds of fucked up and i realize that now but at this point in my life i hated myself so much i was like "yeah yknow what ur probably right. i don't deserve food"

brushing teeth: still could not brush my teeth (maybe did like once every two months) but wash feeling very ashamed and grossed out by myself. i learned that i had gotten so used to the feeling of texture on my teeth that it feels very weird and slippy and slimy if i brush my teeth to be smooth. this realization made me feel non human. like just so grossed out by myself but can't change it no matter what i try

emotional/mental health: still hurting myself during meltdowns and when frustrated. still did not really understand my emotions. i was given a depression diagnosis and an anxiety diagnosis so in my mind those were my only options when someone said "how are you" cus they tend to get annoyed if you always say i don't know.

appropriateness/responsibility: people in school would always tell me i'm talking about things i shouldn't say in public. it never made sense to me. i was very confident in my ability to move out and live on my own despite still not mastering skills that most people have down by age 8. silly me, i have learned a lot about what i can't do since trying to move out

recently (ages 19-20): *being taken care of by my amazing bf (i'm at his house about 20 days a month. used to be i spend half the week there then half the week here but i've been struggling so it's usually two weeks in a row then a few days home then back to his house for a week, etc)

toileting: i use the toilet every time but still sometimes struggle with telling when i need to go and will often not be able to tell until it is almost too late

brushing/washing hair: on days i'm home alone i don't do any hair stuff. it's painful and gives me anxiety and i don't wanna have to think about my biggest insecurity so when i am at my bfs house he body doubles in the shower with me so i am able to wash my hair about once or twice a week. brushing is still extremely painful so i usually just do after using my fancy conditioner and detangling spray.

eating: eating is difficult because of my trauma. i feel a sense of anti-hunger even if my body is screaming out in pain for food i can't register food as safe or something that i wouldn't want to engage in unless i am high. i do technically have a dependence as i can't stop or else i will be throwing up so much that i'd have to go to urgent care. but weed has helped my food aversion, my meltdowns and emotional reactivity. obviously it's making my adhd worse but i'm able to eat and have less meltdowns woo

brushing teeth: i now feel the opposite as i did when i was a teenager and i like smooth teeth HOWEVER my executive functioning is still bad enough that it doesn't ever get done unless my boyfriend tells me i should do it or i see him doing it and i am able to join it

emotional/mental health: i have meltdowns maybe 3 times a month. i bite and or hit myself probably every few days. my emotions are confusing and loud and i cannot contain frustration i NEED to feel pain or else i will start breaking things and yelling.

appropriateness/responsibility: i do not know how to drive. my caseworkers want me to learn but i am not confident in my visual processing skills or my multitasking skills at all. if my life depended on me driving to a hospital i would die. i don't have a job. i think i might be able to work part time if i had accommodations. but only if i had accomodations. otherwise i'd get fired immediately. i refuse to make eye contact. i have IBS and would have to be allowed to go to the bathroom whenever i need for however long i need. i have dyscalculia i cannot work any job with numbers. i don't care if the cash register tells me change if i read the numbers wrong and give wrong change i will get fired. i have dyspraxia i cannot wait tables or be in a situation where there is a time limit. i'm autistic and will not be able to go home and feed myself if all my energy is taken up talking to customers or coworkers. its very easy for everyone to look at me and go "get a job" but at a certain point you have to use ur brain and think "hmm this woman can't take care of herself without help and she's also been neglected and abused for 18 years out of her 20 year old life.. maybe she won't be the best employee"

[transswordbian]

Just realized I can say this here and probably won't get in trouble

My actual biggest and most radical thought out idea is that most jobs are absolutely stupid and worthless. And I don't mean stuff like retail work or fast food or factory jobs or landscaping or even picking crops by hand. Cuz like I've done a lot of that stuff and I've made a career out of food service!

But like, if you can't describe what you do for a living in a way that a 5 year old child could understand then are you actually contributing to society or are you doing some sort of strange middle man administration job that only exists to fuel the capitalist system that western society has adopted?

Let me rephrase that: are you able to simplify your job description in a way that little kids could understand or is your job so entirely made up that it only makes sense if you talk in circles???

Because I had this argument with my parents and my uncle and they kept defending these jobs as "necessary to keep money in the capitalist cycle" (they like capitalism sigh) and I could not explain to them that people love to work! But working meaningless jobs that do nothing to help the world is literally killing us!

This all stems from the fact that I work in a bakery and have worked in kitchens for almost a decade and prior to that I've done groundskeeping and maintenance and such. And I do not understand office work in the slightest! It doesn't make sense to my brain! Like, what are y'all even doing? It's a mystery lol. But I can still understand the need for jobs like accountant (aka telling people how money needs to be spent) or specialized lawyers (aka telling people how to not go to jail/get sued/get in trouble) or a bunch of those kinds of jobs.

What I don't understand is the need for "general business managers" like what the hell does that mean? Why are there like 8 tiers of administration in a major corporation? And why do they get paid so much when their labor is entirely just telling people to do the thing they're already doing?

Anyways I just don't understand it and I think the world needs to be a little simpler in some ways and it would make things a little bit better

[overobsessedfanboy23]

My favourite characters in Go Rush (as of episode 78)

Go Rush was really REALLY bad for a long stretch of episodes but recently, it does seem to be on the right track again as the last five episodes have been nothing short of great. Really hope next episode doesn't break the streak but for now, my top five characters!

SPOILERS FOR THE NEWEST EPISODE UNDER THE READ MORE

5 Chupataro

Funny chaotic bi gremlin. I really hated him at first but he's really grown on me lately.

4 Yuhi

Yes, the way his angst was dropped in the Dragon Bois arc was stupid. Otherwise though, he's always been enjoyable and I loved his recent contributions in the Galaxy Cup arc.

3 Damamu

The fact that the super dangerous Earthdamar that the plot revolved around for so long is now just this dorky enby alien child who loves fusion summon (mood) is just so endearing to me. Protect Damamu at all costs.

2 Tremolo

As far as I'm concerned, the only good thing to come out of the fifth arc. (The one before Galaxy Cup if I got the number wrong). I have a whole long post talking about why I like him so much but to summarize: despite some problems, he has a lot going on for him and consistently makes me laugh. There's a lot we still don't know about him and I hope he doesn't go forgotten by the writers. In fact he was my favourite... until...

1 Kuaidul

Yeah yeah recency bias but goddammit, Kuaidul is just so damn cool and hilarious. He has a cool as shit voice, a plan we still haven't fully figured out but the form it took in the most recent episode, of him essentially trolling the shit out of an entire town with his epic writing skills was hilarious, and hints of a genuinely tragic backstory that I'm personally very into. I love villains who are hilarious and entertaining but simultaneously a genuine threat, especially if they're also very manipulative. AKA: Ai and Vector. If he's well handled going forward, I can see Kuaidul becoming one of my favourite Yugioh villains.

[heliphantie]

Weirdo kids must stick together.

Recently I rewatched "Meet the Robinsons" and realized how wrong I was believing that Bruno is the most tragic Disney character to date. Goob (aka Michael Yagoobian, Bowler Hat Guy) outdid it years ago.

Bit of rambling about Goob:

"Tragic" in my book is the character who's not only been through something terrible but also contributed to his own misery while there was no one around to prevent him from doing so.

Of course, like in case of Bruno, Goob faced inevitable happy end, and one can argue that he's even more fortunate, because his mistakes were erased and he got a valuable second chance to live life from scratch, but on the other hand, there is no guarantee that this future will not be destroyed as well. In fact, each scenario of his life is gloom in its own way: from getting killed by a former ally to ending with half of his life wasted without any prospects, and a "happy" ending is no exception.

He won respect of kids who would otherwise beat him up (and did so) for a missed ball (I understand that baseball is sacred for Americans, but this is some unhealthy fanaticism), mistress of orphanage, who seems very caring otherwise, apparently, is heartless enough to forget about the child left in abandoned building, and it's a question if those adoptive parents shown in the end would like him without the cup of victory and in condition in which he appeared before parent candidates in former timeline (awarded, like a pig at the fair, kid can please anyone). And the very fact that he came to meet potential family with an award is alarming. Apparently, Goob tends to getting obsessed with things, be they good or bad, in general. And if person doesn't realize he has a tendency for obsessive behavior and doesn't learn to control himself, he's at the risk of developing dangerous fixation even toward positive reward. Can we be sure that the prize at the baseball game will not become an idea fix for him, and doesn't become a source of overblown pride and stale his personal development?

Since he's stripped of dark experience and unaware of other futures, he learned no lesson of "move forward" - the fundamental moral of the story! - he may repeat the same mistakes one day.

Maybe coming to that exact realization, his adult version prefers to disappear into nowhere, leaving behind question mark in notebook with failed "plans", having decided to keep this sad experience and move (to where?) forward from the present point despite being in ruins, but the main character does not allow him to do so, rewriting his life in the spurt of naive nobility... (Perhaps it's assumed that behind the scenes Lewis informed his roommate about his alternative future, but nothing in the movie itself implies so.) Goob's future is left misty and uncertain no matter with what choice he goes, by own will or not.

Bruno on the opposite, with his troubled past and lost years of life, has steady place to dwell in at the present, even if he cannot (but perhaps would like) to go back and make different decision, and has caring, trustworthy people around him.

With intention or not, character (and rather complex antagonist) in the half-forgotten cartoon was given an indescribably sad fate, all wacky entourage and tomfoolery notwithstanding.

 

On the happier note… I'm still getting used to Bruno being part of Disney canon (and he still definitely *is* the most complex, paradoxical, rich character Disney canon ever had). I’d like to draw more of him interacting with various characters outside of his movie.

Alt. version:

[iamnotawomanimagod]

EDIT UP TOP re: The Halsey's mom screenshot

the more I think about it and looked into it, the more I really think that that person wasn't even Nicole Frangipane. Their Facebook profile is friends with a Sevian profile that has 4 friends. Sevian actually has a somewhat public presence and would definitely have more followers than that. The "Nicole" page itself only has 54 friends and isn't posting any photos that aren't already available on other social media websites.

aka that shit is fake as fuck, there is no proof whatsoever that that's actually Halsey's mom and that means that's a "fan" spreading some awful shit about Halsey for no good reason.

that's even more reason to NOT share it and to let that shit die. which I'm gonna do, starting now.

okay original post below:

DON'T SHARE THE SCREENSHOT OF HALSEY'S MOM TALKING ABOUT HALSEY'S ADDICTION ISSUES. DON'T TAG H IN POSTS ABOUT IT. DON'T SPECULATE ON SHIT WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.

Okay well now I'm seeing that screenshot all over the damn place, including from people who are trying to say that sharing it is wrong.

Honestly, it seems fake as fuck to me, and I'll go into why under the readmore, but for starters:

If that really is Halsey's mom (I have my doubts,) it is incredibly wrong for her to talk about Halsey's personal struggles and air her dirty laundry in a public space when she KNOWS her daughter has millions of eyes on her at all times. The things she has disclosed to that public forum should've remained private until if/when Halsey decided to talk about it. It's a huge betrayal and is made doubly worse by the fact that, if Halsey really has been committed, she cannot stop her mom from talking about her and might not even know that this information has gone public.

And finally, yes, here's the tea so more people don't go seeking out the screenshot, because I know curiosity is a bitch:

Halsey's mom (allegedly, again, I don't know if it was actually her) posted in a Facebook group for addiction/recovery that she's "worried her daughter has relapsed" because "she's lost so much weight, she's irritable, etc" (it's not like she's got a million health problems and is going through a breakup with the father of her child or anything, right???)

In a later post, "Nicole" claimed that H has been hospitalized after a Xanax OD. She also claimed that Halsey just left an abusive relationship, is pregnant with her second child, is in an ongoing custody battle with Alev, doesn't want him in her children's lives, and is still being hospitalized because of a manic-depressive episode.

Reasons I don't think that's actually her mom/I'll be VERY disappointed if it is:

1 - Halsey has spoken at length in public about her struggles with fertility. She would NEVER want her pregnancy announced in this way. If it's early enough, there's still a very good chance H will lose the baby. I doubt their mom doesn't know that. She's a really shitty mom if she decided to spread that.

2 - Halsey's mom has never done anything like this before, in my memory. She's no Dina Lohan. I've never seen her talk about her daughter in public or make statements on H's behalf before. Not even on social media.

3 - The picture "Nicole" claimed was sent to her by her daughter is a readily available selfie from H's instagram. Why would H send their mom a picture of herself that she already posted on her very public social media page?

4 - If they really were hospitalized/committed, and it was verifiable, gossip rags would be all over it by now.

So, in short, we have absolutely no proof that this is legitimately Halsey's mom, and even if it is, it was INCREDIBLY WRONG of her to post about these topics on a public forum.

It's okay to be worried/concerned for Halsey's wellbeing. It is NOT okay to support the spread of this incredibly personal information.

I'm honestly super hesitant to post about it at all, I feel like I am now contributing to the problem, but I would rather people read about it in a post about how wrong it is to spread it, not on the screenshot itself. Idk man. Whole situation's fucked.

[cabinboy100]

STAR TREK: PICARD: Theory: Borg/Pah-wraith Combo Meal Deal!

Beware: Season 3 spoilers! If you have not watched the first eight episodes of STAR TREK: PICARD season 3, get thee to your streaming device and watch! Then come back for some combo crazytalk. =)

Thesis: JC was born to be a Pah-wraith Emissary with power over the Borg. He could easily have either PW or Borg ancestry, but no one is ever really just one thing, right? =)

MY THREE DADS.

After Jean-Luc was "cured" of Locutus in 2366 (TNG "The Best of Both Worlds"), vestiges of Jean-Loc's Borg connection remained in his body. BC's analysis of JL's assimilation revealed that "microcircuit fibers" rewrote his DNA. When JL was released from the collective, BC explained that his DNA was returning to normal. However, JL's ability to sense and "read" the Borg in 2373 (FIRST CONTACT) demonstrates that some of those modifications persisted, likely concentrated in his parietal lobe.

At some point, before 2379 (NEMESIS), archaeology nerd JL acquires a Bajoran tablet for study. Sometime between 2375 (DS9 "What You Leave Behind") and 2379 (NEMESIS), the tablet breaks, releasing a Pah-wraith contained within. The incident is accompanied by a discharge of energy that renders JL unconscious. When JL wakes, he finds the tablet broken, but otherwise, nothing out of place. Of course, the truth is that while JL was knocked out, the PW bonded with him, possessing him, but in a passive way, taking up residence in JL's mind and body. Typically, it would take control of its host's form, but cut off from the rest of its kind (trapped in the Fire Caves of Bajor in 2375), it is weakened, and rides shotgun in JL, aware of his actions, but not able to control them.

After the events of NEMESIS, JL joins BC for their fateful shore leave on Casperia Prime. The PW within him contributes its energy to JC's conception, and so Jack is destined to be the PW's Emissary (following the formula used by the Prophets to create Emissary Sisko).

JL's choice as Emissary sire was not made by chance. The PWs are aware that JL was once Locutus & that his offspring will possess unique mutated Borg abilities that other hosts could not. Due to the hive mind and techno-organic nature of the Borg, the PW have no influence over them as followers or hosts, but their Emissary shall. He will be able to control the Borg and turn them into an army for the PWs.

Thanks to the decimation of the Borg by Captain Janeway and her alternate timeline Admiral self in 2378 (VOYAGER "Endgame"), that army is significantly reduced by 2401. Because time travel enabled those events, the PWs could not foresee them. Regardless, Emissary Jack has the "natural born" abilities of Locutus, the Borg Consort.

The Prophets' Emissary, Ben Sisko, acted as their agent on the mortal plane. Not possessed, but inclined by nature, duty, & sometimes persuasion to do as they required.

Previously, PWs once chose Dukat as their Emissary, imbuing him w their power, but not possessing him. Dukat was not a true Emissary, fated from birth, but a convenient vessel, free of the influence of the Prophets and already possessed of a will to destroy Emissary Sisko.

Emissary Jack is meant to serve the PWs the way Sisko served the Prophets, by following his nature, which is predisposed to darkness thanks to his PW heritage. However, I believe that nature has been modified, partly by BC's nurture and parenting, and partly by the red door, or rather, what JC visualizes as a red door, a psychic block or partition that isolates the malevolence inherited from JL's PW passenger and the dormant Borg connection.

BC explained to Jack that when he was a child, he suffered terrible nightmares, bad enough that he stopped sleeping. These nightmares were conjured by his PW self, his dark side. JC doesn't remember having them, but BC does, and remembers that he got through them. She does not share with him how.

It was the psychic block, aka the red door, constructed within his mind to lock away the parts of him that are not human, the Borg connection and the PW darkness.

But how was this block created? I have a few ideas…

1. JC instinctively used his latent Borg abilities to build a psychic defense against his PW-ness when he was young. Over millennia, the Borg have developed a techno-organic method of overpowering and controlling the consciousness of thousands of species. The separation of one part of a mind from another is a low-level feature of their systems. BC had tried helping him however she could, but when the sleep/nightmare issues seemingly ended on their own, she knew it was not due to any of her efforts, but thanks to something within JC that had changed.

2. BC came up with a treatment that psychically blocked JC's nightmares. She suspected the Jean-Loc origins, but could not identify a physiological cause and so treated the symptom using any psychological treatments available, which resulted in locking away the PW darkness that caused the nightmares as well as his Borg self.

NB. JC may have been suffering from two competing forms of nightmares. Fiery galactic apocalyptic visions inspired by his PW self and the distorted psychic cries and confusion of the drones of the Borg in the wake of Janeway's viral attack in 2378.

3. It turns out that Section 31 had been keeping tabs on BC and her son, aware that JC was the son of ex-Borg JL. When JC's nightmares manifested, they approached BC and offered their help to manage them. They used programming techniques that involved hypnosis and exotic technology to lock away JC's darkness and inherited Borg abilities. Their programming would have to be refreshed and reinforced periodically, so BC and JC would rendezvous with S31 operatives regularly to get that done. These treatments also allowed S31 to program JC with skills and intel needed to complete missions for them while performing his Doctors without Galactic Borders duties with Dr. Mom. To execute these missions, the red door would be unlocked, allowing JC to access both the darkness of his PW lineage and the abilities of his Borg lineage. On mission completion, the door would be locked again. Note that S31 knew about JC's Borg potential, but were unaware of his PW darkness. They attributed his knack for black ops action to natural ability. The training he received as well as the memories of the missions themselves were locked up behind the red door, too. JC's conscious self ihas no recall of his actions when the door is open. His dark side is in charge then. S31 shares the basics of JC's issues and their "treatment" with BC, charging her with becoming her son's handler. It is a deal with the devil she enters into willingly, as S31's technique has succeeded where all of her medical knowledge has failed. Their dependence on S31 is another reason that BC continues to keep her distance from her old friends and colleagues. See my "Agent Crusher" theory for more along these lines. =)

When JC needs to protect himself and those he cares for, the red door opens so that he can access the abilities and natures hidden behind it as needed, but he retains no conscious memory of those times. Recently, that has changed. He experiences visions while awake, finds himself experiencing lost time, and able to share or project his consciousness into others. JC's time spent in and around "integrated" Starfleet tech has awakened and stimulated his Borg self, weakening the door and allowing influence and abilities to bleed thru. Starfleet "integration" has been accomplished using tech derived from the Borg Artifact, and the ship computers have achieved a level of sentience. They sense the latent abilities of Locutus within JC and call out to him to join them and make them whole.

BONUS ROUND: WHAT ABOUT Q?

Did Q's meddling help fulfill JC's destiny? Did he interrupt and interfere with JL's life in order to ensure the events unfolding this season? Did Q push humanity's encounter w the Borg to intentionally set events in motion that would lead to JL becoming Locutus, and ultimately to Jack and his unique gifts? Also, in "All Good Things", it is Borganic growth in JL's parietal lobe that ends up being diagnosed as irumodic syndrome, causing his friends and colleagues to doubt him in that future. Also also, Q helped close the timeline loop-de-loop in the events of season 2 in such a way that traces of Confed timeline Borg tech were left on the grounds and in the home of Chateau Picard, inert for centuries until a young Jean-Luc was infected by them. Not in a high enough concentration or by the right nano components to fully assimilate him, but enough to perhaps make him… assimilation-friendly as an adult. The ideal candidate to become Locutus. The Borg did not choose him by chance, either. JL notes their surprising interest in the Enterprise and himself in the log playing on the Eleos.

MORE LATER?

No promises, but I'm hoping to get my thoughts together on why the Revenge Squad wants Jack and who might be behind Meathead. There are still just too many possibilities—argh!

LLAP…aka…

Keep on keepin' on~

P.S. Check out "What's Up with Jack?" for more rambling on JC's potential Borg- and Wraith-ness =)

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Sunday, July 30

WILLOW: We were acting out a geometry problem, 'cause I read this really neat article that said kids learn math better if you, you stimulate their, uh, visual learning pattern. You know, using the right side of the brain instead of just the left? Stuff like that. BUFFY: Uh-huh. WILLOW: So we made a triangle with our bodies, and that's when I called Xander obtuse, and he got really grumpy, and then Dawn said we were "acute" triangle, and, well, hilarity ensued.

~~Tough Love~~

The Sunnydale Herald is looking for at least one new editor. Contributing to the Herald is a great way to get your Buffy on! Find out more here.

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

His Father's Son (Giles, FR13) by aaronlisa

All the Benefits (Spike/Jenny Calendar, T) by TheClowniestLivInExistence

Sunset (Buffy/Spike, T) by Anonymous

monster (Buffy/Spike, T) by Anonymous

much more to life with dying (Crossover with DC Comics, T) by JustGail

Twilight (Giles, M) by angelique-of-the-volturi-guard

Let's talk about the honeymoon! (Buffy/Spike, PG) by To Be Hers

Who are you talking too? (Buffy/Spike, G) by To Be Hers

When paths cross (Buffy/Spike, G) by To Be Hers

Carpe Demon! (Buffy/Spike, G) by To Be Hers

Just some light breaking and entering (Buffy/Spike, G) by To Be Hers

Vigilante Shit (Buffy/Spike, R) by FoolForSpuffy

Dear Diary (Buffy/Spike, G) by the_big_bad

Some Kind of Baking Buddies (Buffy/Spike, PG) by Harlow Turner

[Chaptered Fiction]

Lest This Bond Be Broken, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Giles, M) by Dynapink

The Call, Chapter 2 (Giles, G) by PBJellius

The Prophecy Child, Chapter 1 (Ensemble, T) by Yosoy Panqueques

Buffy's Ultimate Part 2, Chapter 6 (Buffy/Spike, T) by PrePsychPineappleLover

So, what's new with you?, Chapter 9 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Amina

Through the Years, Chapter 30 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by DarkVoid116

Don't Fall for Rock Stars, Chapter 86 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by scratchmeout

Excerpts, Chapter 31 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Holly

Spuffy Drabble Moments, Chapter 7 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Spuffyfangirl28

Oh The Sights You'll See, Chapter 19 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Melme1325

The Replacement, Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Melme1325

She's a Hoot, Chapter 16 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Desicat

The Witch's Gift, Chapter 21 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by RavenLove12

The Time I Dated a Puppet, Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, R) by ClowniestLivEver

A Matter of Chance, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by ynnej2198

Sweet Childe of Mine, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, AO) by Chopper01

Up and Away, Chapter 7 (Buffy/Spike, R) by simmony

Sometimes, Chapter 14 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Electric Heart

Best Wishes From San Francisco, Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Kanita

Spiderwebs, Chapter 33 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Willow25

The Aurelian Prophecy: There's No Way Out, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Willow91

Closure, Chapter 11 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by The Danish Bird

Keepsakes, Chapter 33 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by violettathepiratequeen

Hold My Hand Even Though I'm a Sinner!, Chapter 37 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by CheekyKitten

Home Movies, Chapter 22 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by cawthraven

Vanilla and Spice, Chapter 76 (Buffy/Spike, AO) by MaggieLaFey

The Roads not taken, Chapter 6 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Lluvia

Drivers' Ed, Chapter 17 (Buffy/Spike, PG) by Rea

Blackout, Chapter 46 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17 by bewildered

The Plunge, Chapter 6 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Harlow Turner

Doing my best to get back to you (Ain’t nothing I’d rather do), Chapter 23 (Buffy/Spike, R) by fortes775

Chuck's Night Out, Chapter 9 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Lady Emma

Traces, Chapter 7 (Buffy/Spike, PG) by Amina

Slayer of Jedi , AKA Sith Buffy., Chapter 6 (Crossover with Star Wars, FR18) by Slayergray

Dream, Chapter 10 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Dusty

Spuffy Mad Libs, Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by bruskiboo

Perfect Clarity, Chapter 20 (Buffy/Spike, R) by VeroNyxK84

The joys of life of a newlywed (not so regular) couple, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by JSBirsa

The Time We Had, Chapter 48 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Dusty

Creative Solutions, Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Harlow Turner

A Place in the Sun, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by honeygirl51885

Bring Him Home, Chapter 29 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Acb6293

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork:Cover art by Aadler

Artwork:Artwork: Perfect Clarity - 7 (NSFW) by VeroNyxK84

Artwork:Drabblemania As Visuals - 8 by nmcil

Artwork:Little Moments - 5 (NSFW) by DeathTheKat

Artwork:Fanart of the season 1 poster by Queasy_Swing788

Artwork:BTVS “Every Outfit” FINAL!!! Xx by whatshisfaceblogs

Artwork:BTVE “Every Outfit” BONUS : The Final Look!!! Xx by whatshisfaceblogs

Gifset:did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? by buffyspeak

Gifset:3x15 CONSEQUENCES by fuffygifs

Gifset: SPIKE + pop culture references. by spikedaily

Gifset:The Harvest by wrghtandco

Manip:Buffy + Death by gehirnfussel

Meme:[btvs plus things i found on my internet travels] by hal-1500

Video: the final battle ~ buffy the vampire slayer / bts by sophie

Video: Spike & Buffy • War of Hearts by lostxlydia

Video: Buffy Summers • Daydream by lostxlydia

Video: Buffy the Vampire Slayer : Chaos Bleeds PS2 - P2 - Stream VOD by Miss Ooky

Video: BEST OF TWITCH #1 - Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Chaos Bleeds (Pt.1) by Mésange

[Reviews & Recaps]

THE END OF AN ERA! | BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER Season 7 FINALE Reaction by failwhale34

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Talk || s6e08 "Tabula Rasa" by alley box.

I SMELL A RAT - Buffy the Vampire Slayer Reaction - 7x13 - The Killer in Me by TheLexiCrowd

Going for Dinner with Ms. French - Buffy s1e4 Reaction & Commentary by The Buff Summer

Fool For Love-Slayer Sunday by Jane Talks Buffy

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER - S6 EP 8 TABULA RASA (2000) REACTION VIDEO AND REVIEW! FIRST TIME WATCHING by Reel Reviews With Jen!

[Fandom Discussions]

[Tara's cousin Beth and the "demon curse"] by tara-fantastico

[becoming quite fond of xander] by buffyjackets

[non-romantic love survives s6] by buffyjackets

What is a less talked about line that always sticks with you? by multiple authors

Does anyone have any further details about S5 abandoned storyline in which WILLOW TEAMS UP WITH GLORY??! by multiple authors

Do you believe that Dru loved Spike? by multiple authors

Phases (ep 15, s2) - next disussion will be the 6th of August. Watch ep 16, s2: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered by multiple authors

Buffy’s forgiveness/acceptance of other people is really wholesome by multiple authors

Why does Buffy never bring people to justice? by multiple authors

Why didn't they give Faith a surname in the shows? by multiple authors

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

PUBLICATION: 9 Stars Who Almost Had Roles on ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ via TV Insider

PUBLICATION: Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 1 Had 2 Future Teases That Went Nowhere via ScreenRant

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

[vahilor]

My Degenesis OC Alex aka Splint. He is a chronicler (some kind of tech- and computer freak collecting old knowledge) in a Post-Apocalyptic world. Smaller pic is him with his helmet/mask on. Base shading, still needs proper shading. Journal text: Alex is special, though I guess you'd say that about any chronicler. Let's say better, special for a chronicler, which explains that he prefers to stay away even from his own people. His humor takes some getting used to, at least for me, whereas Fynn can clearly handle it well, which is probably related to the fact that the two have known each other for a long time and don't give a damn about the rather usual distrust of their factions.  Rather, both joke about it. For me, this is less amusing, but I'm not a very humorous person. After all, he is not quite so bad, even if obsessed with his chaos. You shouldn't put something in a different place or even try to take it in your hand. He notices it immediately without even having to look at you. It is almost fascinating how he finds anything at all in this chaos. I would not be able to cope with it. The fact that he can't walk doesn't bother him much either, at least on the outside, although I can't get rid of the feeling that he's hiding more here than you might suspect. Maybe I'll ask Fynn about it, but whether the Hellvetiker will tell me more is questionable. I am far more cautious when it comes to telling something about myself. Alex was born former Greece into a family with quite poor circumstances. His parents were farmers who took the meager harvest from the land to sell it to different tribes. His three older siblings (two brothers and a sister) had to start helping on the farm at an early age and this fate would also have befallen Alex. However, at the age of 6, Alex fell into the paddock of the only bull the family owned and the aggressive animal almost trampled the poor young boy to death. Alex survived but due to the injuries to his spine and the lack of proper treatment he was not able to walk anymore  and thus a burden to the family, a little glutton who could contribute nothing. His parents tried to sell the young boy to make some profit out of the child but none wanted him cause of his disability. A chronicler took heart and bought the boy in the name of the Order, even if it was not sure that the boy would bring any benefit to the Order, but he felt sorry for the child. He didn't regret it, because Alex turned out to be quite gifted in handling technology and the will to prove to everyone that he wasn't a useless cripple.

[humanhost]

Human Host In Public : The First Two Decades Part 1 - The First “Pre-Recorded” Show, April or May 2003, St. Thomas Church in Towson, Md.

In the spring of 2003 the grindcore/speed punk band Squints, screamo heavies Beyond The Grunt Call, and ultra slop garage punks The Castrates shared a bill with Human Host at St. Thomas Church in Towson, Md. If memory serves correctly, Squints were the headliner and the Host played second to last, right before Squints. By that point we had played no more than 2 or 3 other shows and those earlier gigs featured a line up that was mainly doing a kind of psychedelic punk which was almost totally different than the electronic/beat-driven music that would soon become our signature sound. So the kid who booked us at this gig was familiar with us as a 4 or 5 piece band that had a live drummer, guitars, and all the other average instrumental accoutrements of late 20th century rock. In short, everyone assumed we were just another guitar band filling out a bill with a buncha other guitar bands.

This assumption could not have been further from the truth.

The spring '03 show at St. Thomas was the first Human Host show to feature a set of completely electronic music mixed with performance art. The only live music element was vocals; the instrumental music was pre-recorded, just backing tracks played through the p.a. - no amps, no instruments, no problem. 

This type of performance was a knod to the dynamic/dance driven shows created by some of our fave early aughts pop acts - boy bands like N-Sync and Backstreet Boys; rap acts like Three Six Mafia, Cash Money Millionaires, and Nappy Roots; the big flashy choreography of live gigs from Destiny's Child, Blaque, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Mandy Moore, and other bubblegum divas. Of course, our dance moves were never as rehearsed as any of the pop artists we loved. Our intentionally spazzed out steps resembled avant garde performance art a ' la The Living Theatre and Andy Kaufman, or the physically demanding 1920's slapstick comedy of Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin, Laurel & Hardy, and other surrealistic vaudevillians.

To say the least the audience of young suburban punks, Carver Center students, and metal heads really had no idea what to do other than simply to stare at us with their mouths agape. We had no records out at the time but we had plenty of lyric sheets to give out that night, an element that freaked the kids out even more. The lyric sheets highlighted the occult poetry of our interdimensional message; the artwork/design on these lyric sheets reflected an interest in the paranormal, paganism, comic book art, folklore, and other arcane visual/literary elements. In addition to the occult message, the crazy moves, and raw band-less/amp-less minimalism of 4 or 5 people running around with nothing but microphones and a billion pounds of nervous energy, we performed by the stark light of the fluorescent fixtures that hung throughout the venue. All the other acts played by dim floor lights that were confined to the stage. Our choice to have the regular lights on ( blasting us and the audience with brutal clarity) only accentuated the insane affront to rock'n'roll that we brought that evening. 

Dominic Angelella performs music today with internationally known indie acts DRGN KING and Lucy Dacus. But back in the early 2000′s Dominic was one of the Towson area’s major DIY music promoters. He was the one who booked the spring 2003 gig where Human Host debuted its electronic music mayhem. Appropriately enough, as Dominic remembers it this show was groundbreaking and controversial for reasons that transcended music, a true “ground zero” moment for the explosion of genre shattering creativity that’d soon become Maryland’s most important contribution to global arts and culture:

Dominic Angelella: “This show was a wild one for me on so many levels. I had settled in to a show-booking position I felt good about at St. Toms [aka St. Thomas Church] and this is the first time something felt off to me. Not that (Human Host) had anything to do with it; The Castrates made fliers where they did a collage of various vintage nun porn images and posted them around the city. I remember various people coming to me telling me there was a protest planned for the show, not from the religious right but from punks who found the flier sexist. Calls were made for me to cancel the gig I think?

I’m not really sure why I chose not to cancel the show, (maybe I even talked to [the artists] about this?) but regardless this gig really sticks in my mind as one of the times that cool city bands came up to Towson to play. HH really flipped my wig at the show, mainly because I didn’t expect it. I was at the first HH show at The Talking Head (in winter 2003), and thought I knew what the deal was going to be. Looking back, in many ways Human Host’s set predicted the soon to come Wham City onslaught that would siege the city, forcing musicians to choose between CCAS/Barclay and the new MICA-centric Baltimore music world.” 

Despite the fact that Human Host had done a handful of gigs prior to this, in many ways our spring 2003 set at the fellowship hall at St. Thomas Church was *spiritually the first* Human Host show simply because it was the first gig to feature our own homemade *symbiosis* of electronic music and visuals. Our sample-based collage of dancey toy synth melodies, Miami bass/Timbaland-influenced drum machine patterns, and tonal modern classical motifs never overshadowed the hyperactive performance art and vice versa. This was our way of proudly defying predictable early aughts genre conventions by melding hedonistic pop spectacles with faith-based anti-worship and art music. It was the spark that set off the many ultra weird live show explosions to come. From here on out everything Human Host did only got joyously and progressively weirder.