#Also I was quite brief with some points so feel free to ask me to elaborate

[nonbinaryeye]

I am certain that plenty of metas regarding shapeshifter's and whose copy version is whose has already been written by lots of people but let me add my take on it.

First let's start with Laois'. The biggest one belongs to Senshi. Senshi is naturally the one to have the least accurate takes as he's traveling with them for the shortest time. Laois is tall man so of course he sees him as tall and the tallness would seem most prominent to someone short so likely to either dwarf or to half foot. Also he looks a bit older than Laois actually is and Senshi is the one most unsure about Laois' age, assuming than unlike Chillchuck and Marcille, Laos is the oldest one of them. The Laos obsessed with monsters probably belongs to Chillchuck. He's the most accurate looking except for his babbling about monsters and Chillchuck is the most observant of them. Marcille of course could be the likely culprit as well as she seems to be the one most done with Laois' obsession with eating monsters but I really think that the Falin like Laois belongs to her even though she claims they are nothing alike. The fact she is the one to point it out is already good enough reason to suspect her. But also she knew Falin first so it's quite imaginable she would see her sibling through the similarity as much as she woukd of course love to deny it. (Also all the Laois x Marcille hints through the series which are closely intertwined to all Falin x Marcille but that's its own conversation I won't dwell into right now)

Regarding Senshis. The one with inaccurate helmet has been already told to belong to Laois. Chillchuck have quite strong opinion about Senshi being handsome so I think the handsome Senshi cones from his mind. Not to mention that overall Marcille is more likely notice less about his cooking equipment as she always tries to distance herself from his cooking as much as she can so it makes the most sense that the one with inaccurate cooking equipment comes from her mind.

Next Marcilles. As I've said Senshi is travelling the shortest time with the party and he does not always see eye to eye with Marcille. It is safe to say the most inaccurate Marcille is drawn from his mind. It can always also be deduced by elimination because Chillchuck is quite observant so it probably is not from his mind and I'm quite confident that Laois is the one whose Marcille is the most accurate. Because Laois is the only one familiar with her magic book as he studied it for quite a while when he was trying to figure out how to cure her from her bite from Cockatrice. As observant as Chillchuck is, he's never been interested in her magic and never saw her book up close probably so only one who could plausibly create somewhat accurate looking book must have been Laois.

Last we have here Chillchucks. Again Laois' Chillchuck is said to be the inaccurate one because of wrong neckband and eliminated first. Then the one with wrong tools is the hardest one to guess but I think it's how Senshi views him as Senshi is likely to know and notice less about his toolkid then Marcille because he was quite clueless about traps disarming and Marcille traveled with him much longer and should know a bit more about his equipment because of it. Also I think that one looks the youngest and Senshi is the one assuming Chillchuck is a kid. But this one I'm the least certain about so really feel free to argue with me and share your takes.

[erideights]

Little pieces here and there (3)

Pairing: Buggy x Fem!Reader (One Piece Live Action)

Chapters: one, two, four, five

Word Count: around 2K again.

Warnings: minimum context of the arlong park part of the story (background), MUTUAL FLIRTING, forbiden pinning of them both, Buggy has his body back *wiggling eyebrows*, sexy times

A/N: devil works hard but i'm working harder, every 5 free min i have from work/class/practices i'm writing on my phone, i'ts actually insane and i love it (ROAD TO CHAPTER 4?? If you like this one and want the next one, please let me know!)

Oh, he was mad. He was really mad.

Maybe "sexually frustrated" was a way more accurate term given the circumstances but the feeling was so strong, so visceral, he was sure he was reaching a point where jumping to the sea to end that agony -even if a bit exaggerated, like him always, everywhere and for everything- was justified.

Somewhere in Arlong Park, Buggy could feel the boner pressing his pants, demanding to be satisfied; dirty talk was one of his true passions and when (Y/N) played that card on him, being capable of picturing himself with her on his lap, that damn woman so -actually- close to his face in that moment he was already tasting her lips, her low, smooth voice driving him insane, he could not help it, but get turned on so easily and so strong is been hours, and he's still mad, incapable of stop thinking about that.

That is, perhaps, the reason he feels relief as soon as the sun rises and Usopp is back on the helm again, asking for directions as Buggy, in fact, demands to go faster. Like instead of slicing and dicing his body, his power could control the wind that propelled the boat or the force of the waves against the hull.

(Y/N) ran away just after such a -even if brief- conversation. She may have broken his balls with that dirty trick, but she was equally a victim of her own game. She knew what to say to push Buggy and leave him so stunned -to speak- that the poor clown didn't have the chance to fight back at that moment, not without his body to help him keep her in that kitchen, lift her up on the counter, force her to back down, regret even thinking she could do that to him, and then, only then, yes, fuck her until she wakes up the rest of her little and - according to him - pathetic crew with her moans.

Or so the girl imagined, leaning against the door of her room, eyes closed, heart slightly racing, fighting the temptation to lie down on the bed and masturbate thinking about what had just happened.

Which included him. Him!! What the hell, was she actually losing her mind? All that damn flirting had really gotten into her, for fucks sake, because regardless of her finding him quite interesting when they met, this attraction was something else.

Lately everything around her was something else. Did she really think through the decision of leaving her mercenary life behind and follow those kids to the Grand Line? Did she really think through the decision of flirting back with a psychopath clown?

Because in the end it's just that, right? Flirting. Was nothing else, is nothing else, and will be nothing else. She doesn’t want it to be something more, that's for sure; there's no need for unnecessary complications and extra headaches. In the meantime, it's fun, a bit of a backfire kind of situation, a bit -sexually- frustrating, but fun.

After a good ol' resting night and already some hours into the new day, (Y/N) notices that it's been a lot, since their encounter in the kitchen to be precise, that Buggy not only doesn't flirt with her, but doesn't talk that much or even look at her as amazed as before. Of course, he is, also, way less annoying, which Zoro subtly points out clearly pleased with how calm, nice and silent this morning is.

At some point she shakes her head, knowing, or at least guessing, the reason for this behavior, so she decides to check no one's around and the rudder is locked in the right direction, and then goes to where the bag with his head is, closed probably by the sniper when he got the last indications he needed from him. She opens it, lowering it until the clown's head is free on top of that barrel.

"How are you doing, Bugs?" she starts with a funny little smile, looking intently at him as she leans her back forward to leave her face level with his. "It's been hours I don't hear your raspy voice, I'm starting to miss it."

Silence. Absolute indifference besides the sidelong glance he gives her because let's face it, Buggy is annoyingly proud, extremely, exaggeratedly, but he loves attention. He likes nothing more than receiving it, no matter where, when, and from who, and she could see it as soon as they met.

"Also your silly nicknames for me" She grants, giving in. She would also be mad as hell if someone leaves her as horny as she knew she left him, so she doesn't have any problem being the one to start the tug-war this time.

"Already tired of the shidiots?" He finally asks, almost drily, after a minute; now he is the one to play difficult, huh? "No wonder, they don't even know where to start being pirates."

"Oh, of course, because no one compares to the famous Buggy The Clown, the colorful nightmare or the East Blue." Playful, she retreats a bit, resting her hip in the barrel, arms crossed over her chest.

"Quit the sarcasm doll, you know I'm right." Well, he was, in fact, right. None of them had real experience in the whole i-wanna-become-a-pirate thing, still, they were doing pretty good to be newbies. She was quite proud of them.

"I cannot wait to have my body back" he then murmurs, adding before she could say anything else about her new friends. "To do what?" She asks, you know, like she didn't know.

"Take a guess"

"Recover your spotlight? Find a new crew and a way to enter the Grand Line to go search the One Piece and be the king of the pirates?" (Y/N) mocks, clearly enjoying being the annoying one this time.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah'' Buggy rolls his eyes, scoffing. ''All that, but not before making you regret what you did last night." To that accusation she gasps, resting her right hand over her chest "What did I do last night?"

The clown falls silent again, but his mood is completely different. Right now he's not pissed off, it's obvious that this time, instead of flirting with her in a casual and natural way, he’s thinking what to say, choosing carefully his words to return a fraction of the effect she had on him hours ago.

His eyes darken, and his voice goes octanes lower and raspier. "Sweetheart, there will be no possible escape from what I plan to do with you. At the slightest opportunity I will make you cum on me so many times you will be the one to find the One Piece without needing to go to the Grand Line, but first…'' He pauses, breathes, and lets it go calmly, like the intimidating, psychopathic calculator she saw at the circus and not that flirty cartoonish version she got to know on the ship. ''you will beg for it."

She knows she shouldn't surrender to this type of tease, but she also can't and doesn't want to avoid it. Getting heavily carried away, without thinking about it twice, one of the girl's hands slides to the back of his neck, slipping under the bandana, and tugs his hair aggressively as she leans in again to speak close to his face. He grunts in pure satisfaction, closing his eyes for a second. Of course (Y/N) is, once again, taking advantage of the fact that he cannot defend himself no being more than a head, and the fact is that he enjoys like a condemned bastard those small but intense gestures the girl has given him since they met at the circus.

He can't wait to break a woman like her. And oh, he will.

"Are you sure about that?" Hearing distant steps, someone from the crew coming out on deck and climbing the stairs, she gets some distance from him, acting naturally, closing the bag again around his head. "My expectations just skyrocketed, I hope you don't disappoint."

By the end of the day, the Konomi Islands begin to appear on the horizon, and as soon as they set foot on them, shits get really serious. The situation of the poor people who live there is heartbreaking, so for two days, no one dares to make a single joke, Luffy's usual energy and bubbly positivity is nowhere to be seen, and of course, the interactions of (Y/N) and Buggy are reduced to = 0. The clown's head is no longer of any real use to them, and it’s poor Sanji, the new recruit, who’s carrying it around just in case.

At least until they reach Arlong Park.

Again, (Y/N) is not exactly the type of mercenary expert in martial arts and although she knows how to defend herself, fighting like Zoro or Sanji is, in few words, impossible. Her only advantage is being very, very fast, and knowing how to use the scenery to her advantage, so it doesn't take long for her to hide here and there among the different tents and attractions in the area to get rid of the most straggler fishmen, with a knife she got long ago during one of her jobs, capable of cutting their tough skin easily.

Everything happens so fast and is so chaotic that apart from some screams and blows in the background and having seen Usopp running towards the forest, (Y/N) is completely unaware of what is happening in the main complex.

A strong pull on her left arm activates her flight or fight response as one last fish falls dead to the ground in front of her. Raising the knife, in a quick movement, she tries to defend herself by aiming at the stranger's neck, although in vain; a pair of lips whose red has already been worn for days impact against hers, stealing her breath, a small moan escaping her. Eyes wide open, she barely registers the blurry color of Buggy's nose when two strong hands squeeze her hips as if the life of the clown depended on it, pushing the girl against the wall of the building behind them, cornering her without any type of delicacy.

She hadn't heard from him since they reached the island. Hell, she didn't even know he had got his full body back and was already so close to it that air was unable to pass between each other.

Of course, the moment the clown's head joined the rest of himself -the feeling much better than he remembered- he fucked off his captors and decided to flee. Not before making a vital stop along the way.

The ideas about how to proceed with her once he was whole were very, very different in his wild fantasies, but when he saw the girl's back, he knew that the only thing that would -partially- calm his yearning would be to kiss her before disappearing as fast as possible. To taste her lips, to feel her warmth.

Still not recovered from the shock of the kiss, Y/N doesn't remove the knife from the clown's neck, but he couldn't care less; quite the opposite. He is so turned on and waited so much -again, exaggerated- for this he doesn't know yet how he will be able to break the kiss, take distance from her, and run away.

Passionately carried away, moved by his most primitive instincts, Buggy sneaks one of his legs between hers, pressing in between them as Y/N inhales through her nose and her free hand flies to his vest, pulling it a little.

It wasn't the time, nor the place, to think about fucking that asshole, but damn, after all the teasing and the tension and the adrenaline of the fight--

And just when she starts fully giving in to him, he retreats just enough, panting a bit, and looks at her now red, stained lips, eyes darkened and full of lust. Just like hers.

"Hate to leave you like this sweetheart but I have things to do and places to go. I don't want people relating me to Arlong, I would hate the bad press on my persona." He whispers, cracking his usual cruel, playful smirk when he finally puts some distance between each other.

‘’It's time to exit stage left.’’ Buggy adds, theatrically raising both hands in the air. ‘’I promise I’ll see you around.’’

And like this, he stars running away again. Where? She doesn't know, or even guess at this moment, too busy registering the kiss in her memory, the way his lips felt on hers, how his nose pressed her cheek the entire time, or his hands grabbed onto her for dear life.

Bastard.

''You better'', she whispers to herself.

[sebscore]

Hi! I was wondering if you could do female driver and her side of the garage shenanigans. Like her and her team just being besties and entertaining. Love your work can’t wait to see what you do next!

MONTE-CARLO MADNESS

pairings: f1 grid x driver!reader

warnings: swearing. slight slander of two dutchmen (nothing too serious). mention of checo’s quali crash last year.

author's note: i was bored during the race so i wrote this :) I know it’s not exactly what you asked, but it does include more of her and marco 💜 (also, I know that gif is from 2021, but it was too beautiful not to use lol)

masterlist

• • • • • • •

''Y/N!'' A hand on her shoulder pulled her attention away from her conversation with her engineer, and to the older German man next to her. ''Norbert! Hey, how are you?''

''I'm in Monaco!'' He exclaimed, pulling the young woman in a hug.

The driver's face broke out in a smile, endeared by Norbert's excitement over being in the foreign country. ''Yeah, you are!'' She laughed, her face resting on his shoulder.

''Can I get a hug too?''

Her eyes widened as she recognised the voice, pulling away from the older man, she was met with the bright smile of Sebastian. ''Seb!''

Y/N almost jumped into her mentor's arms, delighted to see him for the first time in months. ''What are you doing here? You didn't tell me you were coming.'' She held an accusing but disbelieving tone, shocked to see him in Monte-Carlo out of all races.

''Surprise!'' He joked, holding up his arms as if it were a surprise party.

The woman slapped his arm in return. ''When did you get here?'' She asked him, still in shock about the former driver's appearance.

''Just now, my dad and Fabian got here yesterday- I came by car.'' Sebastian answered, pointing at his father who was busy catching up with the Aston Martin team.

''Of course you did,'' Y/N chuckled at the mention of his transport, ''are you staying here the entire weekend?''

The German shook his head. ''No, just today- Stefano invited me, I'll be there for the driver's briefing, though.'' He clarified, pouting at the flash of disappointment in her eyes.

''That's nice, everyone will be happy to see you.'' She was slightly let down about his one-day visit, having hoped he would at least watch qualifying on Saturday.

Sebastian nodded. ''Yeah, it will be nice to see all the drivers again.''

''You know,'' Y/N spoke up, catching his attention, ''retirement doesn't really suit you- I think you should come back.'' She smirked, a mischievous grin on her face.

The older man let out a chuckle, shaking his head. ''I put on some nice clothes for you today, I'm hurt.'' He feigned to be hurt by her words, an overdramatic pout hanging on his lips.

''It's definitely better than the usual attire, for sure.'' The driver glanced his outfit up and down, the man wearing blue pants and a white loose shirt.

Sebastian simply laughed, scratching his voice. ''So, uh, how are you feeling about the race?'' He asked her.

Y/N unsurely nodded her head, not too confident. ''The car felt good today so I think there's a good chance for pole.'' The first free practice of the GP had gone well, taking the second top spot right before Lewis.

''Well, I'm quite confident you're gonna take pole.'' Sebastian retorted, matter-of-factly.

The young woman snorted at his response. ''Thanks, I'll keep that in mind when I'm in the car.''

The German patted her shoulder. ''I hope you win,'' he confessed, a serious expression on his face, ''I like Max, but the Dutch anthem is not to my taste.'' Sebastian grinned

''You won last year. Who says you can't do it again or at least make it onto the podium?'' He didn't expect an answer out of her, he just wanted her to feel more confident in herself and especially at a circuit she had consecutively done well at.

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. ''Last year, I got lucky with Checo's crash during quali and with the Ferrari strategy. The Red Bulls are way too fast, Seb. I'll be happy with a podium.''

The young driver knew a win would be practically impossible if either one of the RBR cars made it in front of her in qualifying. The previous year, she managed to qualify P3 behind the two red cars and due to Ferrari's disaster class, she was the first to take the chequered flag.

''But you still held up the Red Bulls last year, you're being too negative.'' Sebastian argued, discontent about her certainty that she wouldn't win again.

''It's whatever, anyway- I have to discuss some things with Marco. I'll see you later?'' Y/N made the move to leave, sticking out her fist.

Sebastian bumped his fist against hers. ''Yes, Turn that frown upside down, Y/N!'' He yelled after her as she walked away, resulting in a joking middle finger from the young woman.

''What's the best time now? I have one more lap in me, if I need to.'' Y/N asked her engineer over the radio, on an out lap.

There was silence on the other side for a few seconds. ''Uh, the leaderboard is very chaotic right now, it changes every time a driver crosses the line.''

''Who is on top now?''

''De Vries.''

''Are you fucking serious?''

She knew Monaco qualifying would be absolute madness, but an Alpha Tauri on top of the leaderboard? She was not expecting that.

''Push for one more lap- we're safe, but everything is changing very fast.'' Marco encouraged her to do one more flying lap, wanting to be confident they made it into the next round of qualifying.

Y/N was the last car on the circuit starting her last lap right before the time of the quali session ran out. She had the fastest second sector and crossed the line, moving up to P2 and being safe from elimination.

''We're good, nice job!'' Marco complimented her, confirming that she made it into Q2.

''He he, that was a little scary.''

''You gotta push like a beast now, Y/N! Verstappen on pole now and no one is behind you.'' Marco's words sounded over the radio, doing his best to hype her up as this was their last chance to take the pole position.

''Copy.'' She simply answered, before starting her flying lap.

''Y/L goes faster than Verstappen in the first sector. Look at how she's pushing the car to its limits! It's absolutely unbelievable!'' Crofty's voice boomed through the speakers.

''A purple second sector as well! Is Y/L going to take her first pole position in Monaco? She's very close!'' Ted continued, his eyes glued to the big screen.

''UNBELIEVABLE STUFF! Y/N Y/L TAKES THE POLE POSITION HERE IN MONACO! SHE SURPASSES THE RED BULL OF MAX VERSTAPPEN TO SET THE FASTEST TIME! WHAT A PERFORMANCE BY THE TALENTED YOUNG WOMAN! WHAT A LAP!'' The commentators couldn't believe it as they saw her name rising to the very top of the leaderboard, not expecting her to set a better time than the Red Bull car.

''YOU DID IT! POLE POSITION, Y/N! YOU DROVE LIKE A MANIAC!'' Marco shouts over the radio, trying his best to give his congrats as their entire team jumps around him.

Her eyes widened as she took in the news. ''I'M ON POLE? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? WOOOOO!!! MONACO BABY!'' The driver loudly exclaimed, so loud that her team had to remove their headphones from their ears.

''Guys, I'm so proud of all of you! Everyone worked so hard and this is for the entire team, thank you so much!'' Y/N expressed her appreciation for her team, knowing she couldn't have done it without them.

She made it to Parc Fermé and parked behind the No. 1 standee, already seeing Charles and Max there. It took her some time to get out of the car as it was difficult to turn everything off with shaking hands.

The young woman stood on top of her car and threw her hands in the air, pointing at her team who cheered for her- along with the crowd who went crazy at the sudden turn of events.

She ran to her team, immediately hugging Marco upon spotting him at the front of the fence. ''I told you to drive like a beast, not a maniac!'' He laughed, patting her back.

''I don't remember anything from that lap, I think I blacked out.'' Y/N told him, pulling away from him and shaking the hands of the rest of the team.

Charles was the first one of the drivers to congratulate her. ''That was crazy, congrats.'' The former Prema teammates hugged each other.

''Thanks, it was absolute chaos out there,'' she sighed, taking off her helmet and balaclava, ''I know you wanted a different result, but you still did well.'' The younger one told the Ferrari driver who simply brushed it off.

''You fucker!'' A sudden slap on her arm, took her focus off Charles. ''How did you do that?''

She found the smiling face of Max, holding out his hand for a typical driver's greeting. ''Dude, I don't know! I for sure thought it was over for me.'' She told him, a shocked expression still on her face.

''Congrats, you deserve it.'' The Dutchman praised her, a genuine tone found.

Y/N nodded her head at him. ''Thanks, appreciate it.''

''It's the three of us again.'' The Red Bull driver laughed, pointing at the three of them as it was also the same trio in Baku, just a different order.

Charles sighed. ''I have to meet with the stewards after the interviews so I don't know if I'm gonna stay at P3.'' He told them, confusing the two other drivers.

''What do you mean?'' Y/N asked him.

''Lando was on a flying lap and I got in his way- in the tunnel.'' The Monégasque explained, informing them on the unfortunate moment.

Max frowned. ''That's not good, no. You didn't saw him coming?''

''The team didn't tell me.'' Charles answered, holding in the urge to roll his eyes.

''They didn't tell you that Lando was coming? That's fucked up.'' The youngest one said, puzzled on why this even happened in the first place.

The Ferrari driver shook his head. ''I'm gonna get a penalty for a mistake I didn't make.'' The defeated look on Charles' face upsetted both of his competitors, disappointed that the Monaco curse had found its way to him again.

A silence fell upon them, not knowing what to say as the three of them were all feeling very different emotions after the chaotic qualifying session.

''Well, I'm gonna grab my award.'' Y/N sheepishly smiled, breaking the uncomfortable silence between them.

The two men nodded at her as she walked away, but she turned around as a thought came into her brain. ''Oh and Charles?''

''Yes?''

''Tell them it was just an inchident.''

taglist :: @cl16version @missskid @missthem @rosesintj @evans-dejong @thehistoryone @dreamycloudsworld @alonsogirlie @muushmeg @topguncultleader @the-great-adventures-of-me @love13tter @xcharlottemikaelsonx @kiwisa @starkwlkr @nora_moon @princesselle2111 @valluvsu @thatsadsmallchild @babyyoda89 @milkbreadforlife @fxllfaiiry @hc-dutch @its-ash-not-grey @princessbetsy123 @mehrmonga @nyenye @screechingtrashkid @ahnneyong @holybatflapexpert @itsnotgray @beautycinders @rowansshit @uhhevie @revengze @nylaslife @majx00 @multi-universe21 @jaydensluv @isasalom @gentlemonsterjennie1 @appledashhh @breathinfive @lighttsoutlewis @champomiel @ooooohmicky @koufaxx @flannelforthetoads

@mysticfalls01 @ghostcorazon @mango-bear @totally-random-person @youkissedareaderinthedark @phoenix-luv @hamilton-mount @calcaneous @aurora-maria @idkiwantchocolatee @anonymous-platypus

[cythiraeth]

cupid's chokehold! - i. e. the moment genshin men knew they've fallen for you

✧ ─ ⌑ pairing: gn!reader x al-haitham, cyno, xiao (separate)

✧ ─ ⌑ short summary: the exact moment (or process which lead to it) when genshin men knew that they are head over heels in love with you!

✧ ─ ⌑ about the work: lowercase, fluff, not proof-read, lighter (?) and more free form of the work this time!

✧ ─ ⌑ notes: ehe, long time no see! i'm back to life and posting, so to start i picked something that was easier to write and is slightly in a different form than my previous works, however, i hope you'll like it :> also, i'm still waiting for any work requests, so if you have any idea, feel free to messege me!!

✧ ─ ⌑ word count: 1.5 k in total

 al-haitham

seeing you in a pretty, elegant outfit, probably some kind of dress or suit, maybe showing your collarbones or it just being mesmerizing,  it's up to you how you imagine a perfect fit ;) he is just PHYSICALLY UNABLE to take his eyes off you! the usually calm and collected al-haitham forgets how to use the ability to speak for a brief second.

the moment you left the room in which you were getting ready as he was waiting outside, he almost gasped out loud

i mean literally, this man's brain stopped working for a second

you two were supposed to attend tighnari's birthday party, and while he didn't consider it a occasion to wear something elegant, you did the opposite 

that's why he was left so speechless. because he was caught by surprise! he thought you would wear your casual clothes just as he did…

but it happened, you wore one of your favorite outfits for special occasions, and he was flabbergasted 

of course it's not like your look was the only reason he has fallen for you! he was definitely considering it many times before this happened, but he was living in denial.

"no, i don't actually have feelings for them. they make me feel comfortable, i crave hearing their voice or laugh and i care about them a lot, but no, we're just friends" - probably al-haitham to himself at some point in his life.

but this time, he couldn't explain his feelings in any rational way known to man. you were so stunning that his eyes shined uncontrollably when he laid them on you. he was so busy studying your silhouette, your face and your hair that he didn't even hear your first question, which was:

"and? how do i look?" you asked, opening the door but still keeping your hands on the doorframe and leaning on it. you were slightly blushed because it was quite embarrassing to let him see you like this, but if you were to be honest, you were also a little bit excited to see his reaction

so when he didn't even answer you and remained indifferent on the outside, the slightly raised corners of your mouth drooped

you just weren't aware of what he's been experiencing on the inside…

because his heart started pounding a little bit faster and he was ashamed of it but on the other hand you looked gorgeous and he couldn't stop himself from thinking about what would he do if you were in relationship

(he had such a strong urge to kiss your hand like a gentleman for some reason)

"what? do i really look that bad?" you asked after you have swallowed the bitterness of your first impression

"sorry?" he said, blinking, your words drawing him out of his reverie, "did you say something?" 

you snorted, annoyed by his behavior, assuming that he probably couldn't care less about your look at the moment, but at least he should try to pretend he does 

but oh, how wrong you were…

when you repeated the question he only murmured something under his breath in response, so you decided to let him be

you noticed he got sweaty all of sudden, it was probably too hot for him inside, you thought, so you took the last things and you two left the house.

in reality, he wasn't feeling hot because of the temperature of course, but he was just as surprised by his own actions as you were. surprised in a slightly different way though….

cyno

talking with tighnari... he found all his confidence to talk to him about his possible feelings for you, that he could not recognize and tighnari was left speechless because of how innocent and lost in his feeling cyno looked

he was probably hanging out with tighnari someday, maybe they went out for a dinner, and somehow the topic of conversation has come down to you

for a long time he was hesitant to talk about his feeling towards you out loud but today he decided he'd try discussing it with his friend

because if not tighnari then who would be a suitable person? surely not you 

also, don't think that he was aware of what he's feeling. HAHA, no. he would never 

"what in your opinion y/n thinks of me…?" was his first question. he tried to choose the words carefully and say it in his normal tone but even a small sign of arousal in his voice was enough for tighnari to notice that something is up

"and why are you asking?" he wanted to make sure that his interpretation is right

"no reason in particular," his answer was quick, those words escaped his lips uncontrollably, so he had to add something "i just consider them a close friend and i want to know if they do too."

tignari almost started laughing out loud, but he controlled himself.

close friend? oh man, he is so clueless…

"are you sure that they are a "close friend?"" he was actually having some fun but at the same time he just wanted to smack himself on the forehead, he couldn't decide 

"well, definitely not a "distant friend"" 

that's it, that's the moment when tighnari smacked his forehead 

"i'll pretend i didn't hear that," he tried to be serious, but it wasn't easy. "listen, you look at them like they are your entire world. that's the kind of look people give to their lovers, not close friends!" he finally said it out loud

cyno had to blink twice to process what was just said.

he. in love. with you? 

maybe? i mean, he always cared about your opinion about his jokes the most and he wanted to spend as much time as possible with you… but he thought that it's normal for friends to feel this way. and to steal glances at you person when you aren't looking, and to read every book you recommend him…

"you say so?" he finally asked, resting his chin on his hands "then maybe you're right," he admitted out loud

"FINALLY" tighnari couldn't hold it any longer… he was SO relieved that his friend won't be acting like he is running around in the fog anymore… right?

"and why are you so emotional about it?" cyno was genuinely confused (pls help this man he is often so clueless)

"because by now even collei knew"

xiao

 when you kept coming back after all of his attempts to push you away. he wanted to protect you, protect you from him, because for a human it would be better to stay away from his karmic debt, right? but when you remained determined to get closer to him no matter how many times he tried to disencourage you, he slowly realized that maybe, just maybe he can let you get closer to his heart than he ever let anyone to be.

in his case, there wasn't any particular situation that made him realize his feelings, it was rather a complex and long process (not really a chokehold then but shh…)

he knew you for several months despite of his numerous attempts of cutting any ties he had with you

it was just that… you were stubborn. but not in a regular way, no. your stubbornness was much less invasive and annoying, and it manifested in your constant willingness to get closer to him

however, you never imposed yourself nor did you try convincing him! you were just visiting wangshu inn regularly, maybe tried striking up a conversation a few times, even just sitting in silence was enough for you

and because of all those actions he never felt overwhelmed by your presence! actually, after some time, he just got used to it and secretly started liking it

however, there was always this silent voice in the back of his head that he shouldn't be doing this and that he's forgetting himself

so definitely, when he slowly started thinking of you in that way at the very beginning he was IN SUCH A BIG DENIAL that it's almost unbelievable 

alright, he admitted it to himself, but swore to N E V E R talk to anyone about it, especially and above all, to you.

he just decided to act as if those feelings didn't exist, that's all. and it went like that for quite a long time unfortunately… (at least you can be sure that he keeps his promises at all costs!!)

and after some time, when he was surprised that they didn't just go away, a certain thought crossed his mind…

he started thinking about what ifs and imagining what could happen if he theoretically decided to tell you about his feelings 

(he spent another few months on that though)

at some point he just couldn't look at you without seeing you both holding hands in his mind or stand next to you without the urge to put his hand on your shoulder (of course only in private, he would never do pda…)

but still, his karmic debt… 

he was so torn between those two thoughts (there were two wolves inside of him)

but as you expect, after months of his internal struggling, and your consistency in getting closer to him and encouraging him to open up, he let his feelings win for once in his long life

(take good care of him because he deserves it)

⌞⌑ cythiraeth - 23.11.2023. please, do not copy, claim as yours or share outside tumblr! ⌑⌝

[shigarakisslutbag]

Here are some "romance" tropes I feel would fit shigarakis love style if he were in a relationship or liked someone:

Grumpy and sunshine

Like actual grumpy/sunshine. Not bully x sunshine/sweet reader lol.

Idc what anyone says I firmly believe tomura would have a soft spot for his love interest. It would probably take a long time to build these sort of feelings, but once he does, he does his best to hide it

One: scared of ruining his reputation

Two: doesn't want any hero to use those feelings against him. This is a huge reason it takes him a while to admit any feelings to even himself, he doesn't one the one good thing he has, to disappear.

It kind of plays into the next one

Opposites attract

This isn't always the case of course. And in some aspects tomura would obviously want someone similar to him (hobbies, valuing alone time ((probably)), loyal, etc)

However

This sounds a bit cheesy lol but bare with me. You're like the one thing that keeps him afloat. He can't grow and mature if it's always raining (so to speak), so he needs "sunshine" to remind him that he has supporters. He needs someone to keep him in check and remind him of the things he has going for him when he can only see the cons of a situation.

The Wonderful thing about you, is that you don't just tolerate him, you actively want to see him succeed and want to help further his cause.

He'll fs act like your bubbly personality is inconvenient though, but if you have even a slight change in your attitude, he notices. And will ask you what's going on (in his own way lol. He's trying give him a break. If he didn't care he'd definitely just tell you to get over yourself)

Soul mates

Okay listen. Listennn. This may not sound very realistic at face value. But in a scenario in which you aren't affiliated with the league at all, he'd probably meet you out in public. Likely out to steal some new game or snack/drink he wanted (from a chain store ofc. If it's a chain it's free reign)

That said, he'd either see you on his walk there or in the actual store. Either way, he's burdened by some hero on their first job not knowing, well, how to do their job.

This hero in particular has some sort of "cupid"- like quirk.

Shigaraki, to his dismay, gets hit lol. No one could recognize him with a face mask and hoodie on though. But the first person he looked at was, you guessed it, you. You locked eyes with each other and he felt something he hadn't felt before. It made his stomach turn. He hated and loved it. Was it butterflies? Wasps?? Either way he feels like he just touched wet food in the sink but also wonders how he got so lucky to see eyes like yours- god, he hated being in public .

Tomura, after being hit, fell down from the force of what hit him. Literally fell for you. And you said something he'd never heard before. Something no one has ever really asked besides his mom

"are you okay?" And it's all down and uphill from there .

First love mixed with childhood friends trope

Last one, promise lol. Unless someone asks for a continuation.

I mention these two tropes mixed together, because honestly I see this as one of the most likely tropes. Tomura, as an adult has probably only a vague memory of you due to all the trauma. He blocked out quite a lot.

You were probably one of his closest friends. Granted, you two only knew each other for a brief time as you were both around 5 years old when the tragedy happened. You two probably met in elementary school if his parents sent him (elementary is not mandatory in Japan from what I read. They start first grade after they turn 6 is though). If it wasn't that, you two were likely neighbors or something. Regardless, you two were inseparable at the time.

As kids, you both had a pretty innocent view on how the world worked. Little you at one point may have even asked him why he scratches his face all the time. He'd say he doesn't know, but it feels worse when he's at home. Youre tiny little heart couldn't handle seeing the sad look on your friend's face. Almost immediately you took him to your bathroom and got the "tube with medicine stuffs" that your parents used when you got scratches to help itching or pain (which was probably calamine lotion or cortisone), and put some little bandaids on his face (he said the all might ones would make his father mad. That made you more sad, but you kept those feelings to yourself)

He'd even come back to your place when he felt itchy at home. One night though, you ran out of the topical treatment. You were both sad but went on about your time playing pretend and talking about whatever you two could think of. Time went by and he realized he wasnt itchy. Not with you. Never with you. From that moment forward he considered you his "bestest friend".

As an adult, he probably only memorized you from a feeling of loss, and missing something that he couldn't pinpoint why. This probably made him itch more. It wasn't until he had his transformation arc and his voice matured, that he realized what was making him itch so much. It was the loss of you. At least he doesn't itch anymore.

A/N: OP tries not the make themselves cry challenge (fails miserably). Anyways if there's any typos I apologize. It's 3 am and I wrote this out on a whim. Ikik I got too carried away writing, but oh well. Some of these I felt like writing a whole fic for tbh lol. That said, feel free to tell me what your favorite trope is and which one of these you loved the most:)

[emilystheories]

The Bryce and Azriel theory.

Matching weapons, ancient prophecies, dusk, and true equals.

Before you scroll away or block (which I totally understand if you do anyway - you are entitled to curate your own experience on here!), please note that I am not trying to convert anyone to this ship. I am fully aware that most people in the fandom are in favour of Gwynriel, Elriel, Elucien, and/or Quinlar, and I 100% respect those preferences.

I am also not saying this is canon, or will be canon - it's a theory. However, I very rarely (if ever) see people correctly talk about the actual evidence for the Bryce x Az pairing, especially when they're mocking it as nothing more than a 'crackship.' Given the sheer size of this post (and the fact that it took me weeks to put together), it's no surprise that I disagree with such a sentiment.

Feel free to form your own opinion on the matter; I only ask that you keep an open mind. And if that's not possible, then at the very least, I hope this is still an entertaining read, as it breaks down a sizeable chunk of the SJM multiverse.

(So, evidently: SJM universe spoilers ahead).

[art by Gabrielle Ragusi].

To begin: Bryce's connections to dusk.

Throughout both Crescent City books, Bryce is repeatedly connected to dusk. For example:

Bryce's scent is of dusk.

One of the first things Hunt notices about Bryce is that her scent is of the "first stars at nightfall." Nightfall is another word for dusk. This is important, as SJM often uses scent to foreshadow a character's true home (e.g. Rowan's scent being of Terrasen).

"She's here," Hunt said. The scent of her still lingering on the sidewalk, lilac and nutmeg and something he couldn't quite place - like the gleam of the first stars at nightfall."

Bryce is repeatedly associated with dusk imagery.

For example, Bryce often has her nails painted in "twilight" colours (again, another word for dusk), and even her damn nipples are described as being "dusk rose."

"She examined her nails, now painted in some sort of color gradient that went from pink to periwinkle tips. Like the sky at twilight."

Bryce is obsessed with pegasuses and unicorns (which originated from the Dusk Court).

Bryce has been obsessed with pegasus dolls (i.e. Jelly Jubilee!) since book 1; they are iconic to her character. In fact, there is a unicorn-pegasus hidden on the cover of every Crescent City book (see image below).

It's then no coincidence that the pegasuses in Prythian came from the Prison Island... the Dusk Court.

"According to legend, the pegasuses had come from the island the Prison sat upon—"

"Dusk's Truth"

The entirety of Crescent City 2 centred around "Dusk's Truth," which was confirmed to be about the Dusk Court. This logically implies that dusk (and the Dusk Court) is a pivotal aspect of Bryce's storyline.

This is also why I believe that Bryce's entrance into Prythian isn't just a fun cameo, nor a brief, temporary visit (as many seem to believe) -- instead, all roads point to dusk.

"An isle of near-permanent twilight, the home world of her breed of Fae … A land of Dusk." “Dusk’s Truth,” Bryce breathed. It wasn’t just the name of this room that Danika had been talking about with Sofie."

Bryce is also connected to Prythian.

As much as people try to deny this (for reasons I still don't understand), Bryce is strongly connected to the ACOTAR world, and this has been heavily foreshadowed all along. For example:

Bryce is the true owner of Gwydion; the High King of Prythian's sword.

Crescent City 2 makes clear that Bryce is the true owner of the Starsword (or Gwydion, as it is known in the ACOTAR world).

"He snarled. "The sword belongs to Theia's female heir. Not the male offspring who corrupted her line."

But, this isn't just any sword - it's the sword of the first and only High King of Prythian.

In ACOSF, Amren states that Rhys could use Nesta's "made" swords to set himself up as High King. So, what does that mean for Bryce, who owns the real deal?

“But you, Rhysand, are not.” Amren nodded to the still-rotating weapons. “With these three blades, you could make yourself High King.”

Bryce literally glows for Prythian.

Bryce possesses a star on her chest that is a "beacon" to Prythian; its purpose is to guide people home to the ACOTAR world.

As such, Bryce literally glows and lights up for Prythian. Not Midgard. Prythian.

"The star on your chest - do you know what that is?" "Let's assume I know nothing," Bryce said grimly. Rigelus inclined his head. "It's a beacon to the world from which the Fae originally came."

Bryce possesses the exact starlight of Theia; the rightful queen of the Starborn fae in Prythian.

The star inside of Bryce's chest is that of Queen Theia's. Bryce's starlight is Theia's starlight. It's even suggested that Bryce possesses the same powers that Theia once did (though, she hasn't yet accessed said powers). It's for this reason that many believe that Bryce is the reincarnation of Queen Theia.

“I thought Theia’s light was forever extinguished.” “So did I. I thought they’d made sure she and her power died on that last battlefield under Prince Pelias’s blade.” His eyes glowed with ancient rage. “But Bryce Quinlan bears her light.”

But Theia wasn't just any old queen. Instead, she was the queen of the Starborn fae in Prythian (with it being hinted that she once ruled the Dusk Court).

As such, I find it hard to believe that the land (and the Cauldron) won't recognise this; that Theia (Bryce) has come home at last.

“I remember the last Starborn Queen, Theia, and her powers.” He seemed to shudder."

[art by AnaSebag].

Putting two and two together; Bryce is likely the future High Lady of the Dusk Court.

At the end of CC2, Rigelus confirmed that Bryce's bloodline - the Starborn fae - not only originated from Prythian, but specifically lived in a "land of dusk."

"An isle of near-permanent twilight, the home world of her breed of Fae... A land of Dusk."

Putting all the clues together across both the ACOTAR and CC books, this is likely in reference to the Dusk Court. ACOTAR readers will know this as the Prison Island (which was suggested to be the "eighth court").

"Rhys told me once that this island might have even been an eighth court.”

In linking with this, when Nesta visits the Prison Island (Dusk Court) in ACOSF, she senses that "something great" had once existed here, but seemingly vanished. However, she then states that the land "still waited for it to return." Many agree that this is in reference to Bryce and the Starborn fae.

"The very land seemed abandoned. Like something great had once existed here and then vanished. Like the land still waited for it to return."

However, now that Bryce has indeed returned to the Dusk Court (or is about to in CC3); I believe that her presence will awaken the Dusk Court once more, and what was vanished, will return.

As foreshadowing of this, recall this scene in CC1:

"The gentle illumination danced on Bryce’s hair as she ambled down the stone path, night-blooming flowers opening around her. Jasmine lay heavy in the twilight air, sweet and beckoning." "Bryce didn’t flinch as he dropped into step beside her. “I wanted some fresh air.” She admired an unfurling fern, its fronds lit from within to illuminate every vein." "She continued past beds of night crocuses, their purple petals shimmering amid the vibrant moss. The garden seemed to awaken for her, welcome her."

Bryce is walking through a garden. As she continues walking, flowers open around her, and ferns unfurl in her presence. Hunt remarks that it's as if the garden "seemed to awaken" for Bryce.

And the kicker is; as this was happening, Bryce was walking though the "twilight air." This scene occurred during dusk.

Let's also not forget that the star on Bryce's chest is that of an eight-pointed star; the symbol of the Starborn fae (the same symbol engraved on the Prison Island floor, as shown in ACOSF). As a comparison, that's like Rhys having the Night Court insignia branded on his chest... it's rather overt foreshadowing.

“Well,” she said with a sigh, “that’s new.” Indeed, just visible down the V-neck of her T-shirt, a white splotch—an eight-pointed star—now scarred the place between her breasts."

Combined with the fact that Bryce is the heir to the Starborn fae, that she possesses Queen Theia's starlight, that she glows for Prythian, and that even her scent is of dusk... there's no one better suited (and heavily foreshadowed) to rule the Dusk Court, than Bryce Quinlan.

"Homecoming."

As we know, Bryce has now just arrived in the true home world of her people: Prythian.

"An isle of near-permanent twilight, the home world of her breed of Fae... A land of Dusk."

The instance of returning back home is known as a "homecoming."

"Homecoming" [noun]: an instance of returning home. (e.g. "she spent most of the day preparing for her husband's homecoming.")

And, that's exactly what SJM (curiously) labelled this image on her Pinterest board for Bryce.

Many believe this image to look like Bryce and Azriel (especially when SJM could have labelled it "Bryce and Hunt," which she happily did for the other photos on her CC Pinterest board...), and thus, the Bryce x Azriel theory begins.

The knife and the sword.

In the first Crescent City book, we are told of an ancient fae prophecy; "when knife and sword are reunited, so shall our people be."

"It's another of the Fae's countless inane prophecies," Bryce muttered. "When knife and sword are reunited, so shall our people be." "It's literally carved above the Fae Archives entrance - whatever the fuck it means," Ruhn said."

We now know that this prophecy is referring to Azriel's knife (Truth-Teller) and Bryce's sword (the Starsword). Keep in mind that SJM could have connected this prophecy to any number of characters, but she specifically chose Bryce and Azriel.

Additionally, we are also told that the knife and sword need to stay together in order to activate their full powers. Given the importance of these weapons in defeating the Asteri/Daglan, this suggests that Bryce and Azriel will also need to stay together in some capacity.

"Ruhn shook his head. "The sword doesn't work like that. Aside from being picky about who draws it, the sword has no power without the knife."

[art by itswibell_art]

Azriel as Starborn.

The Starsword (Gwydion) is a Starborn weapon, as only those with enough Starborn blood can wield it.

"Ruhn shook his head. "The sword doesn't work like that. Aside from being picky about who draws it, the sword has no power without the knife."

Given that Truth-Teller is the twin to the Starsword, this suggests that the knife is also a Starborn weapon. And, the fact that Azriel can wield it, implies that he too is Starborn (or at least connected in some capacity).

This is further substantiated in CC2, in which we learn that the Starborn fae aren't just those with starlight powers, but shadow powers too. This was confirmed by Cormac, who stated that the ability to wield shadows (and teleport through them) was once a gift of the Starborn fae.

"But Hunt didn't so much as sniff as he asked Cormac, "Where did you inherit the ability from?" Cormac squared his shoulders, ever inch the proud prince as he said, "It was once a gift of the Starborn. It was the reason I became so... focused on attaining the Starsword."

In fact, Cormac believed that because he could teleport using his shadows, this was an indication that the Starborn bloodline had resurfaced in him. However, this wasn't true; he had "some Starborn blood," but not enough to be "worthy of the blade."

"I thought my ability to teleport meant that the bloodline had resurfaced in me, as I've never met anyone else who can do it." His eyes guttered as he added, "As you know, I was wrong. Some Starborn blood, apparently, but not enough to be worthy of the blade."

But, do you know who can also use their shadows to teleport...? Azriel.

And, do you know who else has been "deemed worthy" and can wield a "Starborn blade" (i.e. Truth-Teller)? Azriel.

[art by cludi_a_]

Bryce + Azriel = Dusk Court.

The crux of this theory is that with their matching weapons and connections to the Starborn narrative, Bryce and Azriel represent the two halves of the Dusk Court.

This is because dusk is the crossover between the light and the dark.

This is further exemplified by SJM's own definition of dusk, as seen in Throne of Glass:

"Nightfall. That was when Maeve had told Erawan to meet. That liminal space between light and dark, when one force yielded to another."

As such, Bryce is light, and Azriel is dark. This is evidenced by their powers:

Bryce's power is pure starlight.

Azriel's power is pure shadows (in comparison to other characters, who have shadow powers + something else).

Further, and perhaps most importantly; Bryce and Azriel's weapons also symbolise this same dusk imagery:

Bryce's sword (the Starsword), glows with a GLITTERING, WHITE LIGHT (as if symbolising starlight).

Azriel's knife (Truth-Teller), glows with a DARK LIGHT (as if symbolising shadows).

"It was its twin. The Starsword began to hum within its sheath, glittering white light leaking from where leather met the dark hilt. The dagger - The male dropped the dagger to the plush carpet. All of them retreated as it flared with dark light."

Bryce (starlight) + Azriel (shadows) = Dusk.

And I mean, look at that dusk imagery on the CC3 cover (when the previous two covers were just solid red and black...).

(I'll also point out that the sword and knife are featured on this cover, with the knife right over the woman's heart...)

Alpha and Omega.

Further, Bryce's sword and Azriel's knife - together - is described as "Alpha and Omega."

"The male dropped the dagger to the plush carpet. All of them retreated as it flared with dark light, as if in answer. Alpha and Omega."

This term means "the beginning and the end."

"Alpha and Omega" [noun]: "the beginning and ending."

Which, is also a term that SJM often uses to describe love, or mated couples. For example, Feyre and Rhys:

"and saw and smelled that bond between us, until our scents merged, and I was his and he was mine, and we were the beginning and the middle and the end."

And this quote here, from Throne of Glass:

"She would find that love again—one day. And it would be deep and unrelenting and unexpected, the beginning and the end and eternity, the kind that could change history, change the world."

Additionally, when the weapons are finally together at the end of CC2, it's said that Azriel's knife glowed "in answer" to Bryce's sword.

"The male dropped the dagger to the plush carpet. All of them retreated as it flared with dark light, as if in answer."

They are matching halves.

Bryce and Azriel as rulers.

Given everything mentioned thus far, I believe that Bryce and Azriel are destined to become the High Lady and High Lord of the Dusk Court.

But, I actually think it goes one step further than this, and it has to do with Bryce's likely rule as High Queen of Prythian. As proof of this:

SJM is drawing from Arthurian mythology, and Bryce is King Arthur.

Throughout both Crescent City books, there are a number of nods to Arthurian mythology. Most obviously is Avallen Island (where Cormac lives), which is likely inspired by the renowned Avalon Island.

In fact, Ruhn retrieving the Starsword from the Avallen caves (and being "deemed worthy" to "pull the sword from its sheath") seemingly parallels King Arthur being deemed worthy of the famous sword, Excalibur, and thus being able to pull the sword from the stone.

"That your son, not you, stood among the long-dead Starborn Princes asleep in their sarcophagi and was deemed worthy to pull the sword from its sheath."

However, as mentioned previously; CC2 makes very clear that the Starsword belongs to Theia's "female heir." The Starsword belongs to Bryce.

As such, I believe that in this series, King Arthur is actually represented by Bryce. And, as further proof of this, consider Rigelus's words at the end of CC2; that Bryce's star glows for those she chooses as her "knights."

"It also glows for those who you choose as your loyal companions. Knights."

Just like King Arthur's own knights; the famed Knights of the Round Table.

King Arthur was the High King of Great Britain. And, Prythian is in the shape of Great Britain.

Putting two and two together, could this suggest that Bryce will become the High Queen of Prythian?

2. Bryce has the High King's sword.

As mentioned previously, Bryce is the true owner of the Starsword (Gwydion). The same sword that the High King of Prythian once wielded long ago. That alone is heavy foreshadowing.

3. Bryce is repeatedly foreshadowed as a queen.

For example, Hunt often notices Bryce's queenly demeanour:

"She spoke with the imperiousness of a queen. Hunt could only rise with her."

And even the contact name for Bryce in Hunt's phone is "Bryce Is a Queen."

Ruhn also implores Bryce to become queen:

"But you have to live, Bryce. You have to be queen."

To which Cormac agrees, stating that the decision to lead their people forward, will be up to Bryce:

"But after today..." Cormac's words grew heavy. Weary. "I think the choice about whether to lead our people forward will be up to you now."

Additionally, SJM often uses the phrase "lifted their chin" when someone is signifying their authority (e.g. "she lifted her chin, every inch the queen"). Then when Bryce meets Feyre and Rhys, the same term is used:

"So Bryce addressed the two of them as she lifted her chin. “My name is Bryce Quinlan.”

And most of all, is Ruhn's final words to Bryce:

"Her brother pulled away. And Ruhn said, shining with pride, “Long live the queen.”

(Speaking of Ruhn, recall his prophecy from the Oracle; that the royal bloodline ends with him. Considering that he is connected to both the Valbaran and Avallen royal houses, this suggests that there won't be any 'queen positions' left for Bryce to take in Midgard. But, there might be in Prythian...)

4. Bryce has Queen Theia's starlight (and likely her same powers).

Again, as mentioned previously, Theia ruled in Prythian (with some even believing that she was High Queen).

If it's bloodline alone that determines who would be High King/Queen (as Amren appears to suggest in ACOSF), then again, as Bryce is the true heir to the Starborn fae, placing her at spot #1.

5. Bryce glows for the ACOTAR world.

The star in Bryce's chest glows for Prythian. She is a beacon for Prythian. That's queen symbolism right there.

6. Bryce is a main character.

It is a well-known fact that all of SJM's leading ladies rise to power; Aelin as Queen of Terrasen, and Feyre as High Lady of the Night Court.

And, although I have heard some solid theories suggesting that Rhys or Lucien may become High King... it's also a well-known fact that SJM loves a female ruler (especially when Prythian is already so overly patriarchal).

Bryce, however, would be perfect.

[art by Gabrielle Ragusi]

7. Lastly, and perhaps the most important of all: Bryce is foreshadowed to unite the worlds.

Notably, the last High King (Fionn) rose to power because he united the people of Prythian.

"A millennium of peace followed, and the lands were divided into rough territories that were the precursors to the courts—but at the end of those thousand years, they were at each other’s throats, on the brink of war.” His face tightened. “Fionn unified them and set himself above them as High King. The first and only High King this land has ever had.”

Bryce is foreshadowed to do the same, as per that same ancient fae prophecy; "when knife and sword are reunited, so shall our people be" (and, this is where Azriel comes in).

Although this prophecy can be interpreted in a variety of ways, I believe it to mean that Bryce and Azriel will reunite the Starborn fae, lost across two worlds (Midgard and Prythian). A unification of people... just as Fionn once achieved.

Now, it is theorised that Bryce and Azriel will continue this legacy, as High Queen and High King. In doing so:

Bryce will represent the Midgardian fae, Azriel will represent the Prythian fae.

Bryce will represent starlight, Azriel will represent shadows. Light and dark. Dusk.

Together, Bryce and Azriel are two halves of whole. Alongside their weapons - which are also matching halves - you can't get anymore equal than that.

As mates are supposed to be.

A common rebuttal to this theory, however, is the belief that Azriel "doesn't have what it takes" to become a High Lord or a High King -- that he is inferior to other contenders (such as the likes of Feyre and Rhys).

Yet, I'd argue that the one character who could match up to Feyre and Rhys (and has foreshadowing hinting as such; power-wise)... would be Azriel. For example:

With Feyre (ACOSF):

“Give me some credit, Feyre,” Az said. “I can keep hidden well enough.” “We take no risks,” Feyre said, voice flat with command. “Pull all your spies out.” “Like hell I will.”

With Rhys (ACOFAS):

“And what would you have me do, then? Disband the largest army in Prythian?” Az didn’t answer. I held his gaze, though. Held that ice-cold stare that still sometimes scared the shit out of me."

“You sure about that?” I asked quietly. Azriel’s Siphons guttered, the stones turning as dark and foreboding as the deepest sea. “Where did Lucien go.” I straightened at the pure order in the words."

Az nodded knowingly. He’d always understood me best—more than the others. Save my mate. Whether it was his gifts that allowed him to do so, or merely the fact that he and I were more similar than most realized, I’d never learned.

With Rhys (ACOSF; the bonus chapter):

"Azriel stiffened. Let his cold rage rise to the surface, the rage he only ever let Rhysand see, because he knew his brother could match it."

Similarly, it is also argued that Azriel would "never leave the Night Court." Yet, take it from Azriel himself; that he too is not sure where he truly fits in.

"I don’t really know where I fit in anymore,” I admitted, perhaps only because the wind was screeching around us and Rhys had already winnowed ahead to where Cassian’s dark form flew—beyond the wall. “I’ve been alive almost five and a half centuries, and I’m not sure of that, either,” Azriel said."

Combined with Azriel's disdain for the Illyrians and their culture (and the fact that when Az refers to the Illyrians, he will often say "they/them" as opposed to "we/us"...) could it be that something else is in store for Azriel's future?

Especially when we know Azriel has always been so curious about what lies beyond...

"At the far end of the room, a little dais led into a broad raised alcove flanked by more books—and in its center, a massive, working model of their world, the stars and planets around it, and some other fancy things that had been explained to Cassian once before he deemed them boring and proceeded to ignore them completely. Az, of course, had been fascinated."

Bryce and Azriel's beast forms.

If Bryce and Azriel are indeed set to become High Lady and High Lord of the Dusk Court, then they will presumably possess beast forms.

To expand on this, in a recent Marie Claire interview (August 2023), SJM stated that her favourite place to write is her desk, where she's surrounded by the things that remind her of the current book she's writing.

SJM: "I like to write at my desk, where I'm surrounded by lots of little items that remind me of either the book I'm writing, or things that just make me happy."

SJM then mentioned that when writing House of Flame and Shadow, she kept a vintage My Little Pony pegasus figure that was the inspiration for Jelly Jubilee.

SJM: "While writing House of Flame and Shadow, for instance, I had a vintage My Little Pony figure with me that was the inspiration for Bryce's beloved Jelly Jubilee!"

Then, when SJM announced the title of Crescent City 3, we were offered a glimpse of her desk, and sure enough - that vintage My Little Pony figure is right there.

But most importantly, this tells us that the items featured in this video aren't just random, but are instead (part of) the inspiration for House of Flame and Shadow.

Which then begs the question; what is the Godzilla toy hinting at? Well, the only connection I have been able to make... is to Azriel.

As proof of this, recall that in ACOMAF, Azriel's Siphon is described as being the "great eye" of a "half-slumbering beast" from a "frozen wasteland."

"I watched the light shift inside the sapphire Siphon instead, as if it were the great eye of some half-slumbering beast from a frozen wasteland."

This description matches Godzilla almost perfectly; who is an ancient monster, often slumbering at the bottom of the ocean, and also often frozen within ice.

And, if Azriel's Siphons are supposed to be reminiscent of the "great eye" of this beast, then it's perhaps no coincidence that Godzilla is famed for his blue, glowing eyes.

Similarly, Godzilla's atomic breath manifests as blue fire (which is what you can see coming out of the mouth of SJM's own Godzilla toy).

Coincidentally (or perhaps not), Azriel - and specifically his Siphons - are repeatedly described as blue flame.

"The shadows deepened around Ariel, his Siphons gleaming like cobalt fire."

"Azriel caught his eye. Rhys nodded. The Siphons atop his scarred hands flickered like rippling blue fire as he reached for the Attor."

"Illyrian lines buckled. Azriel sailed closer and closer to them, Siphons trailing tendrils of blue flame in his wake."

In linking with this, I have also theorised that Bryce has a beast form, and that hers will be a unicorn-pegasus (as outlandish as that may sound, it's one of my most well-received theories; link here).

Thus, I believe that the pegasus and Godzilla toys on SJM's desk in the CC3 reveal video, are symbolic of Bryce and Azriel.

Bryce and Azriel meeting for the first time.

When CC2 first came out, people started shipping Bryce and Azriel based on their first interaction alone. Some even noted that Azriel acted in a particularly uncharacteristic manner towards Bryce; he touched her repeatedly, and seemingly showed more emotion (or rather, a lack of composure) than what is usual. For example:

"He hissed, and then a strong hand clamped on her shoulder, hauling her up and twisting her to face him."

"The male’s hands were gentle but thorough as he fitted it tightly over her eyes."

"He set her down, taking her by the hand."

"He caught her, and sighed. She could have sworn he sounded … exasperated. He gave no warning as he hauled her over a shoulder and tromped down a set of stairs."

(It is argued that this is because Bryce is a danger/threat; but if that was true, then why would Azriel take Bryce to the townhouse?)

To me, the last line is the most significant. Azriel is usually calm and collected. He is polite and respectful towards women. Yet within only a couple of minutes, he is already frustrated and "exasperated" with Bryce, and he immediately chucks her over his shoulder.

[art by Paint Faery]

And speaking of parallels to other couples, Azriel and Bryce meeting for the first time seemingly shares many parallels with Feyre and Rhys meeting for this first time:

As well as parallels to Elide and Lorcan meeting for the first time:

And although this is more of a fun tidbit (one I acknowledge is definitely a reach), it's interesting that in ACOSF, we are told that mating ceremonies are commemorated using black ribbons.

"But all that mattered, she realized, was the male who would be standing with her, first as they swore their vows, then as they offered each other food, and then as their friends and family bound their hands together with a length of black ribbon, to remain until the mating was consummated.

Then, this is what Azriel does as soon as he meets Bryce...

[art by witchlingsart]

It's also interesting to note that when SJM was asked about her "favourite part" of HOSAB (in an interview with Entertainment Today), she answered the "penultimate chapter," where "a lot of major things come together for Bryce."

Interviewer: "What is your favorite part of House of Sky and Breath?" SJM: "The penultimate chapter - where a lot of major things come together for Bryce!"

SJM is referring to the very chapter mentioned above; when Bryce meets Azriel and the Inner Circle.

Bryce was "yanked" into Prythian.

Speaking of the penultimate chapter of HOSAB (and the events leading up to it), we know that Bryce originally intended to travel to Hel. However, her journey to the underworld was interrupted, as Bryce was instead "yank[ed]" into Prythian.

"It was the last sound Bryce heard as the darkness within the Gate swallowed her whole. She fell, slowly and without end—and sideways. Not a plunge down, but a yank across."

The definition of "yank," is pull, or tug. And, it is a word frequently used when SJM is describing the mating bond. For example, with Feyre and Rhys:

"No sign of him. No pound of beating wings. But the tug yanked again in my mind, my gut - a summoning. Like some servant's bell."

As such, fans of the Bryce x Az ship often speculate that Bryce was "yanked" into Prythian, right at Azriel's feet, because of their (yet to be discovered) mating bond.

Mor and Azriel = Bryce and Azriel.

It is widely accepted in the fandom that SJM initially intended for Mor and Azriel to be endgame (before changing this in ACOWAR). Not only is this because of the way Mor and Azriel interact in ACOMAF, but SJM's Pinterest board also strongly hinted at their pairing, for example:

With this in mind, consider that whenever Azriel's shadows were around Mor in ACOMAF (when they were likely supposed to be endgame), they lightened and faded in her presence.

"It was almost enough to distract me from noticing Azriel as those shadows lightened, and his gaze slid over Mor's body."

"Azriel, who kept a step away, whose shadows trailed him and seemed to fade in her presence."

Curiously, in the final chapter of CC2, Bryce doesn't mention Azriel's shadows once (when in comparison, she always noticed Ruhn and Cormac's shadows...). As such, could it be that Azriel's shadows lighten and fade in Bryce's presence?

Consider also these points connecting Mor/Azriel to Bryce/Azriel:

In ACOMAF, it's mentioned that Mor's family once ruled the Prison Island. However, we now know that the Prison Island is most strongly connected to Bryce; the Dusk Court.

In ACOMAF, we learn that Azriel's knife is called "Truth-Teller." Many speculate that this was also evidence of Mor and Azriel being endgame (as his knife was "Truth-Teller," and Mor has the power of "Truth"). However, now Truth-Teller is connected to Bryce and the Starsword.

Additionally, if we know that SJM once believed Mor and Azriel to be compatible, then it's worth noting how similar Mor and Bryce are:

Both Mor and Bryce have very similar personalities. In fact, if you're into MBTI (and are familiar with Personality Database), you'll note that both Mor and Bryce are said have the ESFP personality type.

Both Mor and Bryce are physically described in the exact same way. An example of this is outlined below:

"[Mor] wore a gown of pure white, little more than a slip of silk that showed off her generous curves. Indeed, a glance over her shoulder revealed Azriel staring blatantly at the back view of it, Cassian and the stranger already too deep in conversation to notice what had drawn the spymaster's attention. For a moment, the ravenous hunger on Azriel's face made my stomach tighten."

"Bryce Quinlan leaned against the large ironwood desk in the center of the space, her snow-white dress clinging to every generous curve and dip."

Although these comparisons in itself aren't a slam dunk of any sort (as evidently, Azriel is attracted to lots of different body types/people/personalities), I just can't help but wonder if SJM did a copy + paste with Mor and Bryce for this very reason...?

[art by mftfernandez and wictorian_art]

Speaking of personalities...

Although Bryce and Azriel have only interacted for a single chapter (yet are already causing waves with that alone!), some readers have been contemplating their (potential) compatibility.

More specifically, it appears that Bryce frequently mirrors Azriel's dark and cold demeanour. For example:

"The sprite crawled off her arm and floated in front of her, arms wrapping across her round belly. "You can be cold as a Reaper, Bryce."

"Bryce said quietly, her amber eyes full of cold fire, "I'll find them." She met the Archangel's gaze. "And then I want you to wipe them off the fucking planet."

"Bryce's face remained cold as stone. Colder. Males approached, saw that expression, and didn't venture closer."

"The last gift of the synth before it destroyed her. Yet in her eyes. ... he saw no haze of insanity, of self-destructive frenzy. Only cold, glittering vengeance."

"That icy look—their father’s look—passed over her face. The sort of look that told him there was a wild, wicked storm raging beneath that cold exterior. And the power and thrill for both father and daughter lay not in sheer force, but in the control over the self, over those impulses. The outside world saw his sister as reckless, unchecked—but he knew she’d been the master of her fate since before he’d met her."

In line with this, there have been frequent discussions within the fandom that Azriel needs "healing" or "curing" from his darkness; that he needs to "change his ways." But, what if instead, Azriel needs someone who can match, and embrace his darkness?

And what if that person is Bryce?

(Speaking of 'embracing the darkness,' I find it interesting that Azriel "is a freak," as confirmed by SJM herself. With that in mind, let me remind you that upon first meeting Bryce, Azriel put a knife to her throat and then blindfolded her...).

[art by brielyasmin]

The Little Mermaid: a hint to Bryce and Az?

I know this is a popular Gwynriel theory (with extremely valid evidence to support it!), which is exactly why I haven't spoken about this connection before, as I don't want to offend anyone.

However, I am going to briefly mention it (only once) right now, and suggest that The Little Mermaid retelling SJM has alluded to, may in fact be Bryce and Azriel.

To first demonstrate this: there are several similarities between Bryce and Ariel (the mermaid).

Bryce and Ariel both have red hair (in comparison, Gwyn is canonically more of a brunette, with "coppery-brown" hair).

Ariel's story is about her journey from life underwater, to life in the human lands (where she meets Eric). Bryce's story involves her journey from Midgard, to Prythian (where she meets Azriel).

However, upon arriving in the human lands, Ariel's voice has been stolen; she cannot communicate with Eric. Similarly, Bryce arrives in Prythian and does not speak their language; she cannot communicate with Azriel.

In Ariel's story, the main antagonist is Ursula, a witch. Bryce also knows (a rather suspicious) witch... Jesiba.

[art by Morgana0anagrom]

Further, many in the fandom have already pointed out that SJM saved a variety of 'The Little Mermaid' inspired photos to her Pinterest. However, SJM specifically saved these photos under a Pinterest board titled "Story Kernels," meaning that we have no idea whether it's in reference to ACOTAR, CC or both (or neither!)

Some believe these photos to be reminiscent of Gwyn, but, when you compare these photos to the Pinterest images SJM saved of Bryce... the resemblance is most certainly there as well.

However, some may argue that "Bryce has no real link to mermaids" (in comparison to Gwyn, who has water-nymph heritage; though, that's different from being a mermaid as well).

But I disagree. Recall that in CC2, Bryce seems to rely on other people to "charge up" her power (such as Hunt and Hypaxia). However, I don't believe that is the true manifestation of her abilities. Instead, Bryce hints that she can feel a "giant cloud" of power inside her, one that she can't yet access.

"Bryce sucked in a sharp breath. “I can feel it—like, this giant cloud of power right there.” She ran a finger over the eight-pointed star scarred between her breasts. Starlight pulsed at her fingertip. Like an answering heartbeat. “But I can’t access it.”

The bulk of Bryce's power came from the Gates in Lunathion. Power that was donated by thousands (perhaps even hundreds of thousands) of different beings every time they touched the Gates. And given that the civilians of Midgard herald from different worlds... the variety of this power is staggering.

And it's exactly this power that I believe Bryce can feel (as the "giant cloud") but can't yet access. The evidence for this is engraved into the Gates themselves; "the power shall always belong to those who give their lives to the city." Just as Bryce did.

"The quartz Gates were memorials, though she didn’t know for which conflict or war. But each bore the same plaque: The power shall always belong to those who give their lives to the city."

As such, I believe Bryce's true power is that of the four houses of Midgard; she is Earth & Blood, Sky & Breath, Flame & Shadow, and Many Waters. It's similar to Feyre's power (but x 100).

(And, look again at the cover of CC3 and tell me it doesn't align perfectly with this...)

We even see this in canon when Bryce is making the Drop (after obtaining the power from the Gates):

"But his princess fought for every bit of progress upward, her power shifting, traces of everyone who’d given it to her coming through: mer, shifter, draki, human, angel, sprite, Fae."

"She was sea and sky and stone and blood and wings and earth and stars and darkness and light and bone and flame."

Thus, I believe a good chunk of Bryce's arc in CC3 will be about unlocking this power. And when she does... she will have access to the power of House of Many Waters (the highlighted quotes above emphasise this).

There's even a section of Bryce's ascent (during the Drop) where she thrusts upwards with a "mighty tail." I believe this is a mermaid tail.

"Her power shifted, dancing between forms and gifts. She thrust upward with a push of a mighty tail. Twisted and rose with a sweep of vast wings. She was all things—and yet herself."

And to tie the 'Little Mermaid = Bryce x Az' connections together even further; what's the likely title of the next Crescent City book?

House of Many Waters.

(And as a bonus fun fact: recall that the items on SJM's desk seemingly hint to the inspiration behind HOFAS? Zoom in and you'll see a Little Mermaid cup...).

Hades and Persephone too!

If you scroll back up to the Pinterest photo SJM saved as Mor and Az and reverse-image search it, you'll discover that it's actually an image of Hades and Persephone.

(So no, Feyre and Rhys weren't the only couple inspired by Hades and Persephone).

Similarly, the above Little Mermaid inspired photo that SJM saved (top left)? Also of Hades and Persephone.

The story of Persephone is that of a woman who once lived on Earth and was taken to the underworld. There, she eventually fell in love with Hades, the ruler of the underworld.

[Hades and Persephone art by oblivionsdream; it's giving Bryce and Az...]

Similarly, the final chapters of CC2 detailed Bryce's decision to use the Horn, and travel to Hel; the underworld. In doing so, she was taken to Azriel; someone who is heavily theorised to be a Prince of Hel (or connected to Hel, at the very least). As evidence of this:

The Princes of Hel are repeatedly connected to the cold. For example, when Apollion reaches out to touch Bryce, it's said that his touch was like "ice so cold it ached."

"[Apollion] reached out a hand, and Bryce flinched as it touched her. Truly touched her, ice so cold it ached."

Then Feyre touches Azriel for the first time, it's said that his skin was like "pure ice." (The similarities are uncanny!).

"But my attention drifted to Azriel, who took my still-offered hand and rose. The scars were rough against my fingers, but his skin was like ice. Pure ice."

However, this isn't the only instance. Instead, Azriel is repeatedly and consistently linked to being cold/icy/frozen. For example:

"I took Azriel’s hand, and his rough fingers squeezed mine. His skin was as cold as his face."

"There was an icy rage in Azriel I had never been able to thaw."

"Azriel’s dark breeze was different from Rhys’s. Colder. Sharper

"Azriel tucked in his wings and left without another word, stalking through the house and onto the front lawn to sit in the frigid starlight. To let the frost in his veins match the air around him."

We also know that Azriel is "different," and that even Rhys has "no explanation" for Azriel's shadowsinger abilities.

"Az is different. In a lot of ways." His tone didn't invite further questioning.

"Though the cobalt Siphons were proof that his Illyrian heritage ran true, even the rich lore of that warrior-people, my warrior-people, did not have an explanation for where the shadowsinger gifts came from."

Thus, if Azriel is indeed connected to Hel (a storyline far more prevalent in the Crescent City series than the ACOTAR series, by the way), then one could logically assume that his mate will also be someone connected to Hel.

Who do Hel's armies strike for? Bryce.

“Hel’s armies shall strike at your command, Bryce Quinlan.”

Who has Aidas (the 5th Prince of Hel) been watching over? Bryce.

"The cat’s whiskers twitched. I told you. Come find me. Her eyelids drooped—a final descent toward sleep. Why? The cat angled its head. So we can finish this."

Who is Apollion's (the 7th Prince of Hel) "greatest opponent?" Bryce.

I also find it interesting that when they meet, Apollion refers to Bryce as "Princess," and Bryce refers to Apollion as "Prince." I understand that Bryce is the Princess of the Valbaran fae, but the way they spoke in this scene felt more like Apollion and Bryce were on equal footing...

“Princess.” The voice was like Hel embodied: dark and icy and smooth.” “Prince.” Her voice shook.”

Many people in the fandom have been theorising that Prythian (and the broader ACOTAR world) is a layer of Hel. Could it be a missing 8th layer?

And if so, if Bryce and Azriel are set to rule Prythian (as High Queen and High King, as per this theory), wouldn't this make them both also Princess and Prince of the 8th layer of Hel? Ruling from the Dusk Court... the 8th court? Signified by an 8-pointed star?

(This is ultimately why I ship Bryce and Azriel: their epic story potential is unlike anything we've seen before).

As further proof of this, recall the connections between Bryce and Theia (with many believing that Bryce is a reincarnation of Theia). Although Theia's backstory is still shrouded in mystery, at present we can deduce that:

Theia lived in Prythian, and had two daughters with an unknown man.

She then travelled to another world; Midgard (unwillingly), and allied with the Princes of Hel.

She was then said to have a relationship with Aidas, a Prince of Hel (as she was said to be Aidas's "great love").

(Fun fact: Aidas is another name for Hades).

Compare to Bryce:

Bryce lives in Midgard, and is currently with Hunt.

She then travels to another world; Prythian (unwillingly), in search of the Princes of Hel.

As per this theory, she will have a relationship with Azriel, a (theorised) Prince of Hel.

History is repeating. Rigelus even notes the similarities himself:

"Rigelus sighed dramatically at their stunned silence. “This all seems very familiar, doesn’t it? A Starborn queen who allied with a Prince of Hel."

Twilight of the Gods: SJM's multiverse series?

"But Bryce won't forget about Hunt!"

"She's not going to skip off into the sunset with Azriel in just one book! All of this is too much!"

I agree. I don't believe any huge shipping revelations will be made in CC3.

Instead, things will be much more tame to begin with. Perhaps Az will be the one to guide Bryce around Prythian (and they'll figure out their matching weapons, and the origins of the Dusk Court - both together, and alongside other pivotal ACOTAR characters). I believe Bryce and Az will develop a friendship, and that will be all (sort of like Aelin and Rowan, and their dynamic in Heir of Fire).

(That's not to diminish the significance of their interactions, though. If this theory is correct, then Bryce's POV may be the first to include Azriel at the forefront - no other character within the Azriel ship wars has had this opportunity yet).

Then, if Bryce and Azriel are indeed true mates and endgame, then I think that will be explored further down the line in what I predict will be SJM's multiverse series; Twilight of the Gods (which, as per the latest SJM publishing news, seems to be looking veryyyy likely; more information here).

"Twilight" is also another name for DUSK. Given everything I have already discussed, I am sure you can see how I believe that Bryce and Azriel's story (if they are indeed endgame) will be explored in this series - Twilight of the Gods (if it does indeed come to fruition).

Interestingly, both the Crescent City and Twilight of the Gods Pinterest boards are full of Sailor Moon imagery, and it appears as if Bryce (and her powers) have also been modelled after Sailor Moon herself. Knowing this, this image (which was also found in the Twilight of the Gods Pinterest board) is particularly interesting...

The sword? The multiverse-esque aesthetic?

This is fundamentally what the Bryce x Azriel ship comes down to: the promise and intrigue of a multiversal romance.

And don't you think SJM has considered this too? I find it hard to believe that SJM (the queen of fantasy romance) spent 5+ years planning out a crossover between her worlds, and didn't once stop to think about the possibility of a multiversal romantic pairing.

I mean, even back in 2015 SJM admitted to thinking about "crossover fanfic" with her own characters...

Moderator: "So, speaking of fandoms, different fandoms, um obviously you have ACOTAR, which is different from the TOG series. If both worlds could collide, which two characters would get on really well?"

SJM: <giggling>

Moderator: "Get on really well, not get it on really well" (laughs).

SJM: (laughs) "In my head I already have like, crossover fanfic (laughs). Like, is it fanfic if I'm writing it, or is it ultimate universe, canon things?

So, knowing all of this... why pair Bryce and Azriel together?

Most people in the fandom agree that Bryce and Azriel are connected in some way. I'm hoping that this post has made clear this connection even further.

But here's the thing: if we can all agree that Bryce and Azriel are connected, then why? What's the reason? And why not connect Bryce with other characters instead? Why Azriel specifically?

The two explanations I have heard are:

"Bryce and Azriel are cousins/related."

We already have the Ruhn and Rhys reveal, so why add another? I also don't see how Azriel could be related to Ember Quinlan or the Autumn King... (I also feel like Bryce's descriptions of Azriel's "tall, muscled body" and "gentle but thorough hands" is a lil weird for cousins...)

"Bryce and Azriel will be just friends."

Whilst I don't deny the likelihood of this, I also think that Bryce has the potential to become close friends with Nesta, Rhys, Feyre, Mor, Cassian (and many of the other characters). "Just friends" still wouldn't explain why SJM chose Azriel over everyone else (for example; why not make the prophecy around the Horn in Bryce's back and the remaining 3 Dread Trove items that Nesta can wield...?)

Instead, whenever there has been this much build-up or this much foreshadowing of a pairing... it's usually a sign that they are something special. Something more akin to mates - endgame.

[art by m_bohnet]

After all, consider things from Azriel's POV.

Sure, he has been busy with Mor and Elain and Gwyn (as people often tell me in response to this theory), but what happens when a beautiful woman from another world shows up, carrying the matching sword to his most prized knife? What happens when these weapons start glowing for one another in unison?

Don't you think Azriel would think something of this?

And, don't you think that if Elain or Gwyn had a sword that was the matching half to Azriel's knife (and a significant prophecy to boot!), it would be used as irrefutable evidence that their ship is endgame...?

But what about Hunt?

It's an opinion that earns me no favours in the fandom; but despite liking Hunt, I have always been sceptical about his relationship with Bryce (and am not yet convinced that they'll be endgame). This scepticism predates CC2 (and isn't just a feeling I conjured up in the hope that Bryce x Az will be endgame, as certain people assume).

For starters, both the Asteri and Apollion need Hunt and Bryce together to operate the Horn, and this is concerning.

To put it simply, Hunt was bred (for reasons we still don't yet know). However, as a result of Hunt's breeding, he possesses power that works with the Horn. In fact, CC2 makes clear that Hunt's lightning is the best source of power to "charge up" Bryce (and more specifically, the Horn).

“Your teleporting works when your power gets charged up by energy—considering what I heard about how quickly you ran out of steam with Hypaxia, Hunt’s is the best form of it.”

Bryce has the Horn in her back.

“Don’t think for one moment that Aidas and the Prince of the Pit have forgotten the Horn in your back. That Thanatos didn’t have it in mind when you spoke to him.”

To explain it in simple math terms:

Bryce + Hunt = fully operational Horn (they are like lock + key).

Apollion + Rigelus = both really want the Horn.

Apollion + Rigelus NEED Bryce + Hunt if they want a fully operational Horn.

In fact, we see Apollion egging Bryce and Hunt on to explore their powers more, and Rigelus fully admits to luring Bryce and Hunt to the Asteri palace at the end of CC2.

"Hunt’s blood iced over. “That was why you lured us here?” he found himself demanding of the Asteri, even as he roared with outrage at Bryce’s offer. Rigelus said, “I couldn’t very well snatch you off the streets. Not such notorious, public figures."

What's more, Bryce killed Micah, and Hunt killed Sandriel. The Asteri have punished (and killed) civilians for far less than that, but not only do the Asteri keep Bryce and Hunt alive, but they actively encourage their relationship together (and no one really questions that...).

"We also trust that this favor will serve as a reminder for you and Hunt Athalar. It is our deepest wish that you remain in the city, and live out your days in peace and contentment." "Fear gleamed in Hunt’s eyes. In her own, too, Bryce was sure. Nothing was ever this easy—this simple. There had to be a catch."

I just can't help but think of Maeve. She used her power to manipulate fate, leading Rowan to believe that Lyria was his mate instead of Aelin (for her own selfish gain).

Could it be possible that the Asteri, just like Maeve, have been... meddling with mating bonds for their own agenda - to use Bryce and Hunt for the Horn?

(Recall that in her latest interview, when asked if Bryce and Hunt's mating bond was the same as Feyre and Rhys's, SJM said "pass").

This leads to my second point.

The mating bond is a little strange between Bryce and Hunt.

I know this is a contentious subject, but there are enough people in the fandom who have stated a similar opinion for it to warrant suspicion. No one ever questions Rhys and Feyre's mating bond, nor Nesta or Cassian's, nor Aelin and Rowan's. But many don't buy Bryce and Hunt's mating bond.

In part, this is likely due to the nature of how it was initiated; after only knowing each other for 5 months, Hunt suggested calling each other mates because they couldn't find another term that fits. It happened randomly, and Bryce seemed to come up with a million different excuses initially; it just felt lacklustre in comparison to other mating bond reveals.

(That's not to invalidate Bryce and Hunt's clear affection for each other though - mating bond or not, their love for one another is more than evident).

“I thought that’s what this thing between us is.” “We’ve known each other for, like, five months.” “So?” “My mom will throw a fit. She’ll say we should date for at least two years before calling ourselves mates.”

But for me personally, it comes down to Bryce and Hunt's power (and the Horn). Again, using Throne of Glass as an example, when Maeve messed with Rowan's mating bond, she admitted that she didn't suspect Rowan and Aelin were mates once they met, because their carranam bond (which involves the sharing of power, as Bryce and Hunt do...) was masking the mating bond.

"I’ll admit I did not anticipate it. That I had broken Rowan Whitethorn so thoroughly that he did not recognize his own mate—that you were so broken by your own pain you didn’t notice, either. And when the signs appeared, the carranam bond washed away any suspicion on his part that you might be his."

Instead, the only indication that Aelin and Rowan were mates, was that they could feel each other's pain.

"Maeve ignored her. “Well? When did you know?” “At Temis’s temple,” Aelin admitted, glancing to Manon. “The moment the arrow went through his shoulder. Months ago.”

This is objectively absent in Bryce and Hunt. Not only that, but in the Bone Quarter, Bryce seems to question the validity of the mating bond herself:

"Hunt's lightning had stopped. Where was he? Would a mate know, would a mate feel-"

Which again, you have to wonder; if SJM is trying to sell Bryce x Hunt as endgame to her readers, why include this?

Further, even if Bryce and Hunt are mates, we don't yet know how this works across worlds. Given that the Cauldron (supposedly) assigns mating bonds in Prythian, and Bryce's "true world" is also Prythian, does Bryce have an additional Cauldron-assigned mating bond in that world too...?

Maybe that aligns with this tweet from SJM:

The Oracle.

In CC1, Hunt visits the Oracle, and she tells him to "keep well away from Bryce Quinlan."

"Do yourself a favour, Orion Athalar, and keep well away from Bryce Quinlan."

The Oracle could presumably see into Hunt's future, and could see whether he and Bryce live happily ever after. If this was the case, and the Oracle could indeed see such a happy outcome, then why would the Oracle say such a thing...? Why warn Hunt like that?

Similarly in CC1, Aidas reveals to Bryce that although the Oracle was blinded during her visit all those years ago... he wasn't. Aidas was there too, and he saw Bryce's future.

"Aidas had nearly vanished into nothing when he added, the words a ghost slithering through the room, "The Oracle did not see. But I did."

Yet in that exact same scene, Aidas turns to Hunt and has no idea who he is, asking "who are you?"

Hunt kept perfectly still as Aidas studied her. Then his eyes registered Hunt. He blinked—once. As if he had not really marked his presence until this moment. As if he hadn’t cared to notice, with Bryce before him. Hunt tucked away that fact, just as Aidas murmured, “Who are you.”

Thus, if Aidas has seen Bryce's future, and Bryce and Hunt are indeed endgame (and he is in her future)... then why didn't Aidas recognise Hunt?

Hunt's future.

If this theory is correct, and given that we have two beings with foresight (the Oracle and Aidas) hinting at Bryce and Hunt's ominous future... then what could possibly happen to Hunt

Theory 1) Hunt may die.

This theory has been around even since the HOEAB days, and is well-known by most (so I won't expand on it too much). However, the basic premise of it boils down to Hunt's birth name, Orion, and Orion being famously killed (often by his lover) in mythology. Perhaps this also explains the Oracle's warning to him.

Recall also the quote repeated again and again (often by Hunt);

"Memento Mori. Remember that you will die. They now seemed more of a promise than the mild reminder from the Meat Market."

Similarly, knowing what happened to Sam in Throne of Glass, I find this parallel to Bryce and Hunt a little uncanny (and is exactly what we mean when we talk about death flags...).

[Sam and Aelin]: "I can wait," he said thickly, kissing her collarbone. "We have all the time in the world." Maybe he was right. And spending all the time in the world with Sam ... that was a treasure worth paying anything for."

[Bryce and Hunt]: "Assuming I live through it, you mean." "Assuming you live through taking on the Archangels and Asteri, what then?" "I don't know." He gave her a half smile. "Maybe you and I can figure it out, Quinlan. We'll have centuries to do it."

2. Hunt may become an Asteri weapon; an (unwilling) villain.

In fact, it has recently been theorised (such as in this post here) that Hunt may already have acted as an Asteri weapon in the past, and may have even had a part to play in Danika's death. As unbelievable as this may sound, consider these two quotes.

In HOEAB, Hunt remarks that his victims always said the same words; "please."

“Please.” It was always the same word. The only word people tended to say when the Umbra Mortis stood before them.

Then, this is the only audio we hear of Danika right before she dies:

"And then someone was roaring—a feral wolf’s roar. “Please, please—” The words were cut off. But the hall camera’s audio wasn’t."

To that people would say "Hunt would never!" And rightly so. However, consider that:

Hunt didn't know Bryce when this occurred.

Hunt was already tasked with killing one of Bryce's friends; Fury. Twice. The only reason it didn't happen was because someone higher up halted the orders.

"Micah had even ordered Hunt to kill her. Twice. But she had too many high-powered allies. Some, it was whispered, on the Imperial Senate. So both times, Micah had decided that the fallout over the Umbra Mortis turning Fury Axtar into veritable toast would be more trouble than it was worth."

However, regardless of whether this theory is true or not (as sure, perhaps the wording could be coincidence), one cannot deny the connection between the names of Hunt (Orion) and the Asteri; all named after stars and/or constellations.

In fact, Sirius (the 7th Asteri), is known as Orion's hunting dog in mythology.

And Rigel (as in Rigelus), is the brightest star in the Orion constellation.

Consider also Rigelus's words to Hunt; "I thought we were friends, Orion," and something just seems... off.

(Though, I'd be happy to be proven wrong, as Hunt is one of my favourite SJM males. Just because I think an awful thing could happen, doesn't mean I want it to happen).

What about Gwynriel/Elriel?

Another topic that I won't touch on in too much depth, as I'm sure that most people are already familiar with the points for and against these ships.

The only thing I will say is that things change. What ships appear to be canon or strongly foreshadowed in one book can totally change in the next. SJM has said as much herself (as outlined in the FAQ section on her personal website):

"Will [my favourite couple] be endgame?" "No spoilers! In all seriousness, while I do have ideas for all my currently contracted books, I would never guarantee any plot points or pairings until each book is written. I've been surprised by where characters have taken me before!"

But we also know this is true based on the Throne of Glass ship wars that raged on back in the day. If we were to time-travel back to 2012 and 2013 (when the first two TOG books were released), we'd see people arguing as to whether Aelin (Celeana) would end up with Chaol or Dorian. There was no third option.

And then in the third book, Rowan was introduced. But even then people denied the possibility of his romance with Aelin, instead siding with Chaol, with arguments such as:

"Rowan already has a mate!"

"Rowan and Aelin are probably just related and nothing more!"

"Rowan and Aelin are from two different kingdoms, it would never work. Chaol is back home in Rifthold waiting for her!"

(Sound familiar...?)

It was also argued that Chaol and Aelin would be endgame instead, given the mate-adjacent language that was used between them:

"Far inside of her, she found a golden chain that bound them together."

"The rest of the world quieted... she looked at him and realised she was home."

"She knew his every move and he knew hers, as though they'd been dancing this waltz together all their lives."

"It somehow felt as if it had always been Chaol, even from the beginning, even before they'd ever met."

But nope -- in the third book, Aelin stumbled into a foreign land and came face to face with Rowan; her true, fated mate.

In fact, this speaks to a certain SJM pattern I have noticed:

Aelin is forced to leave Rifthold for Wendlyn (oh no!)... but then she meets Rowan.

Chaol and Nesryn are forced to leave Rifthold for the Southern Continent (oh no!)... but then they meet Yrene and Sartaq.

Feyre is forced to leave the Spring Court for the Night Court (oh no!)... but then she meets Rhys.

Nesta is forced to leave the human lands for the faerie lands (oh no!)... but then she meets Cassian.

Now, Bryce has been forced to leave Midgard for Prythian (oh no!)... and she falls right in front of Azriel. He "gently" blindfolds her, grabs her hand, chucks her over his shoulder, and their matching weapons start glowing "in answer" to each other... and this is supposedly just a crackship?

And I get it; there's already Bryce and Hunt. And Azriel and Gwyn. And Azriel and Elain. However, I do think it's interesting that at present, the two biggest debates within the fandom are:

Are Bryce and Hunt truly mates/endgame?

Will Gwynriel or Elriel be endgame?

If any of these ships were a slam-dunk guarantee... these debates just simply wouldn't exist. Point is, with SJM (and especially with the multiverse opening up)... the possibilities are endless.

And, the promise of Bryce and Azriel is just one of these possibilities, but it's my favourite one of all.

After all, stars cannot shine without darkness.

(P.S. Some of these points were first identified by my friends - so credit and a huge thank you to them! ❤️)

[jilyydoe]

You guys.

I need an au harry-never-went-to-hogwarts

-age old argument between ron and ginny about her most recent (ex)boyfriend because some things never change

-"choose someone better next time"

-"if your such a love guru then why don't you pick someone for me and we'll see how that goes" (bonus points for a Hermione barb thrown in)

-ginny bringing up this non existent person to ron everytime they see each other trying to prove that his standards are so high they are unrealistic

-harry shows up unexpectedly to rons flat (when ginny is over) excited about a break through in the case they're working on (they're partners) and he couldn't wait to show ron because he's a big dork and gets too invested and Ron's feels more like a best friend than just a partner but Ron's suddenly shoving the files to the side and smiling at him broadly and clapping him on the back and pulling him to the dining room table because Ron's a genius and an excellent love guru if he does say so himself

-Ginny is fuming because ron is smiling smugly at her and she refuses to let him win even if harry is fit and smart and funny and brave and loves quidditch and no. No. No. No.

-harry is baffled because Ron keeps talking to him loudly about all the cases they've solved (but not about their current case) and how he's a holy head harpies fan (except he's a puddlemere united fan) and about a joke he once made (he's pretty sure that was actually Seamus finnegan)

-and the bushy haired brunette girl keeps glancing awkwardly between ron and his sister halfway between amused and nervous

-and the pretty redhead woman sitting next to him turning redder by the minute and glaring at ron but harry can't help but stare at her and how her freckles still managed to stand out against the pretty blush on her cheeks and how her eyes blazed with wickedness before she sent a clever retort back at ron and Harry marveled at how someone could simultaneously have such soft full lips while biting out a sharp witted remark

-and before he knew what was happening Ron was pushing him and ginny out the door with directions to the ice cream shop down the street claiming they forgot about dessert (even though harry could see the apple pie on the kitchen counter)

-and now it's too quiet in the hallway outside the flat and harry nervously ruffles his hair because he not quite sure what happened, what's happening now or what he's supposed to do..

- and ginny is rolling her eyes at the door and sending it once last glare (they're both sure rons just behind with his ear pressed against the wood) before turning to harry embarrassed and apologetic and tells him he's free to go about his evening without visiting the ice cream shop

-and even though two seconds ago harry wasn't sure what he was supposed to do he's also just as sure now that he's not quite ready to part with her yet so

-" well to be honest I'm not a big fan of ice cream anyway..."

-and there's a flash of something behind her eyes that was gone so fast he barely had time to register it

"But I do know a pub that makes a decent treacle tart...if you're up for it"

- and he almost regrets asking as he can sense the brief hesitation and her small smile seemed unsure and harry felt his heart sink before her smile smile broadened much like the one ron shared with him earlier (except rons smile didn't make his stomach flutter and his chest feel warm)

-they get to the pub and harry orders treacle tart for himself and she orders chocolate cake because cake is by far the most superior dessert and when he refuses to change his mind she quips that she should have known better about his preferences (after all he prefers puddlemere to harpies) and he willing sought out Ron For friendship

-and when he tells her he has excellent taste excuse me very much "I just happen to be partial to red heads"

"Unfortunately, Ron's heart is taken by Hermione even if he's too daft to realize it. Sorry, you'll just have to find someone else"

- and "I'm heartbroken, how will I ever find another smart, funny, quidditch loving gorgeous red head?"

-"I may just know someone who happens to check all those boxes you know"

-"Yeah? Think they'd be willing to go on a date with me?"

-"Well... if Fred isn't willing, then I've got 4 more brothers after him..."

[writingquestionsanswered]

I've seen across the web multiples tips for outlining/plotting when you have ADHD, however, I feel like I kinda have the opposite problem: I'm autistic and I always feel a big need of minimum surprises, doing things methodically and planning ahead of time, but my stories don't quite flow and I may need to work a non-forced pantser mindset, so if you gave me any advice on how to embrace a less outlined writing, I'd be eternally grateful.

Middle Ground Between Planning and Pantsing

It sounds like you need a middle ground between planning and pantsing, but it may take some trial and error to find one that works for you. Here are some possibilities, though:

1 - Do a Beginning to End Summary - Most of the time when people talk about outlining a story, this is what they're talking about. Just doing an in-depth beginning to end summary. However, you can adjust the depth of your summary to suit your needs, which makes it a great tool for when you need something with just the right balance of planning and spontaneity to fit your unique set of needs. Try free writing a summary of the story as though you were explaining it to someone else. Talk about as much of what's going to happen as you know or can flesh out as you go. Just having this in hand when you write can be helpful. If you find you need more structure, you can go into more detail. If you find you need less, you can pull back.

2 - Use a Story Structure Template - I've found that 90% of the time when writers struggle with planning vs pantsing and/or outlining, it's because they don't have a good understanding of how stories work and how they're generally structured. How stories work and how they're structured does depend on the type of story you're writing, but outside of experimental or deeply literary stories, most stories do have some sort of structure. You can learn more about plot and story structure, along with suggestions for story structure templates, in my Plot & Story Structure master list of posts.

3 - Do a Scene List - I'm mostly a planner, but I have to be careful not to let myself get bogged down with too much planning and too many details. So, for me, the best middle ground between planning and pantsing has been scene lists. I love scene lists because they're such a straightforward road map to your story, while at the same time having the depth flexibility of a beginning to end summary. You can put in as much or as little detail as you want. A scene list can be a just a list of scene titles that just let you know what's going on in the scene, like: Scene 1 - Hunting with Gale. Scene 2 - The Reaping. Or, you can do a brief or in-depth summary of what happens in each scene. Or you can even do what I do, which is a fairly extensive data table containing things like when and where the scene takes place, who's in it, plot point, summary, etc.

4 - Do Chapter Summaries - If you prefer not to break your story down into scenes, you can do chapter summaries instead. Like a scene list, this can be as light or in-depth as a scene list, from a list of chapter titles or working titles that suggest what happens, to in-depth summaries of what happens in each chapter.

5 - Do a Timeline - Timelines are kind of like scene lists in that they break your story down into important events/moments, and you can choose how deep to go. There are a also a lot of different formats you can use for a timeline, but you might want to start out by doing an old-fashioned line drawn on paper, then mark in the most important events. From there, you can start filling in the next most important events, then the slightly less most important, zooming in as much as you want to.

I hope something here will work for you!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[yuri-is-online]

Same Anon here that dropped that mess of an angst post lol. Maybe I should find some name for myself if this becomes a regular thing.

There are a lot of valid points there. For as lightly as the story treats everything, wow this would be messed up irl. But I digress, I personally can see this potentially taking a much darker route. I don’t know if you’re comfortable talking about this so TW: Brief mention of suicide

I imagine Yuu to just bottle everything up for the aforementioned reasons of being seen as weak for expressing any of their emotions only for it to all come out in one big mental breakdown. I think it would be quite poetic for Yuu’s breakdown to be more of a quiet self-destructive thing just to contrast the showy, outwardly destructive nature of the overblots. I always thought it could be some spur of the moment decision to just end it all out of sheer hopelessness and a thoroughly crushed sense of self-worth. I just can’t see a teenager handling a burden this heavy very well. Whether or not Yuu survives could be up to how dark you want to go.

Also if it isn’t too much, I would like to see that post about the boys’ individual reactions to Yuu running away sometime. But I’m aware you only write for a few at a time so…

previous post

You are more than welcome to give yourself a name! I don't have any named annons so you are free to choose anything you like, and make regular appearances if that is what you wish. While I try to only write for a few characters at a time, I don't mind doing a bullet point type post with my thoughts on the boys reacting to Yuu running away sometime, but I need to think as part of me wants to write something sappy and romantic, while the other part wants to focus more on Yuu and their character. I could do both I suppose (￣ω￣;)

I'm fine with talking about suicide, but since it's a sensitive subject I am going to place my thoughts under read more and tag it so if it is something you, dear reader, are triggered by you needn't see more than you are comfortable with.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, discussions of suicide and depression, isolation, abandonment, and missing persons. This also kind of takes a trip into theory town I am so sorry annon. Please do not interact with the words below if you do not wish to think on such things.

I want to start out by saying that when a person is depressed it is not always obvious, even if they are contemplating suicide. We don't have a complete understanding of what drives someone to kill themselves because we can't ask people who have. I do think there is an element of assuming that either the world or you will be better off if you are dead; which I would like to stress simply is not true, but you are not evil for struggling with that feeling even if people try to make you feel like you are.

Yuu's breakdown being "more of a quiet self-destructive thing," as you stated dear friend, would be extremely poetic. To me it highlights the disparity between Yuu and the overblot boys. They have power and are able to hurt others to try and make themselves feel better, Yuu has next to none and is only able to hurt themselves.

Crowley mentions that there is counseling available to all NRC students, assuming the school follows real life laws we can assume the Professors are mandatory reporters. If Yuu shows signs of depression or self-harm, they will be required to report that and recommend Yuu for counseling, but the thing about therapy is that it's not a one size fits all solution. The patient needs to accept that they have a problem and, perhaps more importantly, trust their therapist otherwise you won't benefit from the treatment.

That's assuming that a counselor would even understand how to treat Yuu in the first place, there's a lot going on with their situation and while I could see a good therapist taking it very seriously, there's only so much they can do, which brings me to my sort of sticking point with this and why it took me so long to answer your ask.

Why in the hell is Yuu in Twisted Wonderland in the first place??? "Because they're Alice" ok sure but what does that like actually mean. I don't want to derail this into theory town but I keep thinking about the translated lines Crowley mutters to himself when calling Yuu a beast tamer that doesn't appear in the text box... something about how they look more like they are meant to be eaten by the beast than tame it.

There is a part of me that feels like Crowley wants Yuu to feel isolated and despondent about their chances of getting home, like he needs them to be accepting of their death and convinced it's the only way they will be useful. Something to do with Grim and that big Chimera at the beginning of the game, in the light novel there is someone telling Yuuya to take their hand but they can't move to take it, all they can do is stare up at the big monster and it's evil grin (if i remember correctly)

Anyway all of that to say I can see two sorts of scenarios leading to Yuu trying to harm themselves.

Route A: Summer

As was correctly pointed out in these tags on the original post, I think Summer would be the worst time for an actively depressed Yuu. If they have been seeing a counselor, they will likely not be available over the summer months, Crowley didn't take us on vacation with him the first time so there's no way he'll do it now, and everyone has their own families to get back to.

They only have Grim and the Ghosts. And while Yuu might love them, they technically belong here. Yuu does not. The lack of other friends bothering them means Yuu has time to think good and hard about where they are. And who they left behind.

I like to listen to Dateline while I work sometimes and one of the things that always gets to me is how little closure people feel when someone goes missing, even if they find out what happened to them. If Yuu is missing in their world and their family loves them... they just have next to no chance of ever finding that out. Ever.

If Yuu has a bad relationship with their family, or none at all, they probably start feeling like they are going insane. They have nothing worth going back to really, to the point that people would probably encourage them to see being in Twisted Wonderland as a good thing, a chance for a fresh start. But it has been anything but.

Summer would be a good time to run away, it's easier to be homeless in the Summer, plenty of places need part time help anyway, and Yuu can make a clean break from the school before anyone notices they're gone.

It's also a good time to decide you want to die. By the time your friends come back they will have already gotten used to life without you anyway.

.... i could see this making grim overblot tbh. He blames the school for taking Yuu from him and by the time everyone returns he is there. Waiting. The consequences of their actions given form.

A monument to all their sins.

Option B: Sacrifice

So back to theory tangent.

Grim and Yuu are one student. Crowley treats them as such, but what if he-

Or whoever the real final boss is

Need them to actually be one student.

So they approach Yuu, offer their sympathies. Tell them they know why Crowley cannot send Yuu home.

"Because you came here by dying, don't you remember? These events you have seen, all your misfortunes and troubles, they've all been like one big dream. What a terrible fate you've met... but no worries. I know how to set you free."

The strange masked man places his hand on your shoulder and guides you to the mirror. You see your reflection in it, for the first time you idly realize, hair spread out on the pavement with a halo of blood spatter about your sleeping head.

"You needn't be scared." the man's voice is calm, soothing even, so much so that you almost believe him when he says

"You've died once before, after all. You know exactly what it feels like, it will just be like going to sleep."

Sleep sounds good, even if you have just gotten done fighting to stay awake, so very good you nearly miss the creature's wicked grin spreading mockingly across the reflection of your peaceful face.

[chvoswxtch]

I would love some angst with Matt Murdock.

Imagine the kids of Foggy and Marci, either toddlers or teenagers, ask their beloved and cool uncle Matt why he never married or have a girlfriend.

Then he start to tell them about Y/N, the woman he was married to long ago, the person he loved the most in the world. His greatest love. The love of his life.

But she's dead, and all because of the double life of Matt. And it's something Matt have to deal with every day.

nonnie, you really made me break my own heart with this one, but I still love ya anyway. i've got tissues if you need them. thank you so much for the request, I hope this is what you had in mind. ❤️

warning: this one is kinda heavy. it does deal with themes of death and loss, grief, and there's a very extremely brief (blink & you miss it) mention of matt wishing for death (didn't wanna use the s word). if any of these themes make you uncomfortable or are triggering, please feel free to skip this one. you will not hurt my feelings, I promise. feel free to yell at me in my dms or in the comments after. I apologize for breaking your hearts in advance. word count: 2.5k

violets.

As soon as the door shut behind him, Matt could hear two sets of feet barreling down the staircase at full speed. A chuckle slipped past his lips as he folded up his cane and placed it on the entryway table, getting down on one knee with a huge grin on his lips and holding out his arms as he braced himself for impact. 

“Uncle Matt! Uncle Matt!”

Matt laughed as he wrapped his arms around the twins, hugging them both into his chest tightly as he kissed both their heads. 

“Hey kiddos. What trouble are you two causing, huh?”

An exasperated Marci appeared in the hallway, both hands on her hips as he shook her head and motioned towards the stairwell.

“Michael and Paige Nelson, what have I told you two about running down the stairs?”

“But mom, Uncle Matt is here!”

“And did you think he was gonna disappear if you didn’t get downstairs fast enough?”

Matt chuckled as he gently squeezed Michael’s shoulder, tilting his head in Marci’s direction. 

“Your mom is right, you guys shouldn’t be running down the stairs. We don’t want either of you to get hurt. Besides, I’m pretty sure the park also has a strict no play policy if you have any broken bones.”

“That’s the law?”

“That’s the law, sweetheart.”

Matt placed a gentle kiss to Paige's temple and smiled as he stood up, letting the twins each take one of his hands to tug him into the living room area. He couldn’t help but laugh as Marci rolled her eyes before heading back into the kitchen.

“Franklin, come get your children!”

“Why are they always mine when they’re in trouble?”

“Because I did all the work for nine months, that’s how this works.”

Foggy appeared in the living room and looked between the twins with a quizzical arch of his brow, settling his hands on his hips as he tried to mask his grin.

“What did you two do?”

“Nothing!”

“Lying under oath is perjury and a punishable offense.”

“We didn’t swear an oath, daddy. All our books are upstairs.”

Matt tried his hardest to stifle his laughter into his fist, feeling Foggy’s gaze staring daggers in his direction. He gave a light shrug of his shoulders as he sat down on the couch, holding his hands out for Paige as she crawled up into his lap.

“She has a point.”

“You, stop encouraging her. And you, quit being better at my job than me.”

Matt grinned as he tickled Paige’s side, feeling the smile spread further across his face as she giggled. Foggy plopped down on the other side of Matt, pressing a kiss to his daughter’s head as he held his hands out for Michael.

“Did you tell Uncle Matt your big news, Mikey?”

Matt cocked his head to the side as Michael settled in his dad’s lap, picking up on the shy smile that appeared on his mouth.

“What big news?”

“Mikey here has his first girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend? You’re six, what do you need a girlfriend for?”

“Oh please, and how old were you when you started dating, Murdock?”

Marci teased as she scooped Michael up into her arms from Foggy’s lap, peppering kisses all over his face as he giggled loudly. Foggy snorted as he clapped his hand on Matt’s shoulder, shaking his head slowly.

“Don’t answer that. He idolizes you enough as it is, we don’t need him following your footsteps in that department.”

This seemed to capture Michael’s attention as he whipped his head around in Matt’s direction.

“Uncle Matt, do you have a girlfriend?”

Matt instantly froze. He could feel both Foggy and Marci go rigid either side of him, and tension seemed to fill the living room like heavy fog. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him, and cleared his throat as he made a tight fist with his left hand.

“I…uh, no. No I don’t, buddy.”

“How come?”

Paige’s voice was soft as she laid her head on his shoulder, gazing up at him inquisitively. He silently thanked God that he hadn’t removed his glasses, because he could feel tears starting to brim his waterline. Foggy swallowed thickly as he placed his hand on Paige’s back to get her attention.

“Why don’t we-”

“No…no, it’s alright.”

Matt knew this day would come eventually. He knew as soon as the twins were born, one day they were going to have questions. He had been dreading it for the past six years, trying to figure out what to say, how to explain it delicately. He wasn’t sure how they would react, or what they would think of him once they knew the truth.

“I don’t have a girlfriend because…well, I used to have a wife.”

“Where is she?”

Matt took a shaky breath as he swallowed thickly, turning his head to face Michael with a sad smile on his lips.

“She went to Heaven.”

Paige snuggled into Matt’s side a little closer, her tiny hand reaching for his to hold. He wasn’t sure if it’s because he had held her first the day the twins were born, or some other force, but Matt had always had a stronger connection with her. He loved them both equally, of course, but Paige always seemed to be more in tune with him. Maybe it was because Paige was exactly like what he hoped his daughter with you would have been like. Too smart for her own good, incredibly observant, generously kind. He often thinks about how much you would have loved her. God, how much she would have loved you. They both would have.

“What happened?”

“Michael-”

Matt shook his head when Marci went to cut him off. It wasn’t his fault. He was just a curious kid. Michael had never seen Matt with a woman, or ever heard him talk about one before. He was bound to have questions. 

“She…had an accident. It was my fault. I…I didn’t keep her safe like I should have…and she got hurt.”

Foggy got up to start picking up various toys around the living room, but Matt knew it was so his kids wouldn’t see him cry. You and Foggy had been very close. You were essentially another sister, like Karen, that he never had but always wanted. Foggy would never ever say it out loud, but Matt knew deep down that Foggy blamed him for your death. He knew Karen did too. There’s no way either of them couldn’t. 

It was his fault.

If he hadn’t been the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, you would still be alive. If he had been more careful, if he had just focused more on being a husband than trying to be a hero, if he had fought harder to protect you instead of his city, you’d still be here. Matt lost everything when he lost you. 

“Do you miss her?”

Matt tried his hardest not to crack at Paige’s soft voice. He didn’t want either of them to see him cry, or think they’d upset him with their questions. All he could do was nod his head slowly, using his thumb to twist his wedding band around his ring finger gently. 

“Everyday.”

Matt had completely shut down after you died. He became even more reckless than he did after Midland Circle. He stopped wearing the red suit. He wanted to feel every ounce of pain he knew he deserved for what he let happen to you. He wanted to break and bleed, hoping it would drown out the pain he felt inside. He went out every night looking for someone to end it. 

Matt Murdock and the Devil were both long gone. A hollow, fragile shell was all that remained. 

He didn’t see or speak to anyone for a year. Karen managed to track him down and found him one night curled up by your grave on your wedding anniversary. As much as he tried to fight her, Karen wouldn’t let go, and once she tracked him down again, she enlisted the one person she knew could get through to him. The one person who could understand exactly what Matt was going through. The one person that had survived that kind of pain. 

“This ain’t what she woulda wanted for ya, Red. All this shit, it ain’t gonna fix it. Trust me. All it’s gonna do is make that void even deeper. I know right now, hell it feels like that pain ain’t ever gonna go away. And I can’t sit here and lie to ya and say it does, cause it don’t. Some days it just…hurts a little less. But she saw somethin’ in you, yeah? Somethin’ worth a damn. You wanna honor her memory, prove her right. Don’t make the same mistakes I did, Red. You prove to her you’re the man she thought you were.”

Frank wouldn’t let Matt out of his sight for six months. He was there to talk him down from the ledge when it felt like he was drowning in grief. He let Matt use him as a punching bag to lash out when he stepped in to keep him from getting himself killed. He held him when Matt woke up screaming because he lost you in his nightmares all over again. He sat with him in silence when Matt would go days without speaking. Sometimes he would tell him stories about Maria and the kids when they came to him. There were some days when Frank felt like he was starting to forget little things, and remembering them out loud helped him hold onto them a little longer. 

There was one night whenFrank was telling a story about how Maria used to always put her chocolate in the freezer, and wouldn’t touch it until it was completely frozen, that Matt seemed to finally break his silence.

“Said it made it taste better or somethin’. Didn’t make no damn sense to me. But God forbid I ever buy that woman chocolate and not put it in the freezer. She’d give me hell, every single time.”

All of a sudden, Matt burst into a fit of laughter. Frank nearly broke his neck looking over at him, watching as he doubled over and laughed so hard, tears threatened to slip. Frank immediately froze. He wasn’t sure if Matt had finally broke and was having a psychotic episode, or what. He must have been able to sense Frank’s apprehension, because he shook his head as he tried to talk through his laughter.

“Y/N used to do that. I never understood it, but I knew better than to question it.”

Frank let out a deep exhale of relief, finding himself smiling as Matt was still coming down from his fit of laughter. He chuckled along with him, shaking his head slowly.

“Must be a woman thing.”

“Maybe. Or maybe that was just our wives.”

That was the first time Matt had laughed in almost two years. There was a tender smile on his lips and a gentle look in his blank stare, like he was replaying a memory of you in his head like a comforting home movie. Frank watched him silently. Slowly, the smile began to melt, and Matt’s eyes welled up as his face contorted into an expression of grief and regret. That was the first time he had said your name out loud in two years. Frank held him for hours as he wept.

After that night, Matt started to mention you more. It was small at first, a few things here and there, but after a while, he was sharing memories of you with Frank too. Piece by piece, Frank helped Matt heal to where he could function again. There was a comfort only they could find with each other. Matt started going to church again with Maggie as he struggled to make peace with his God. He eased himself back into work to keep himself busy, trying to find his purpose again. He started spending more time with Foggy and Karen again, and found himself finally able to return to places that held memories of you. Sometimes he could feel your gentle touch or hear your voice at night when he prayed. He mentioned this to Frank once and asked if that ever happened to him too.

“Yeah, it does. I feel her all the time, Red. Sometimes, I shit you not I hear her in my head. She still always has the answers exactly when I need ‘em.”

When Foggy told Matt and Karen that Marci was pregnant, Matt felt an excitement he hadn’t felt in years. You and Matt had always talked about having a family. He would never be able to have one with someone else. He could never remarry or love anyone else the way he loved you. A huge part of him still felt like he would never deserve to. But being an uncle was the closest he was ever going to get to the life you two planned together, and he would take it.

“Would she have liked us?”

Matt was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he hadn’t noticed Michael had joined Paige in his lap. A somber smile spread over his lips as he nodded, wrapping the twins up in a big hug and pressing a kiss to the tops of both their heads.

“She would have loved you both so much.”

“What was her name?”

Matt let out a shuddering breath, swallowing thickly as he tilted his head in Paige’s direction.

“Her name was Y/N.”

It still hurt to say your name out loud sometimes.

“Did you know Y/N, daddy?”

Foggy quickly wiped at his eyes as he turned around, kneeling down on the floor in front of Matt as he put his hands on the twins’ backs.

“I did, Mikey. She was my best friend. Practically my sister, just like Aunt Karen.”

“Do you miss Aunt Y/N too, daddy?”

Matt closed his eyes and choked back a sob at Paige’s words. You would’ve loved to be their aunt. Foggy gently squeezed her shoulder as he gave her a tight lipped smile and nodded. 

“Everyday.”

“Can we go visit her?”

Marci sat down beside Foggy on the floor and put her hand on Matt’s knee, squeezing gently before looking up at Michael with a soft smile.

“No, baby. I’m afraid we can’t go visit her in Heaven. But if Uncle Matt says it’s okay, maybe we can go visit her where she’s buried and bring her some pretty flowers.”

“Can we do that Uncle Matt? Please?”

Matt didn’t bother hiding the tears that slipped down his cheeks as he tried to smile, nodding his head in Michael’s direction as he sniffled. 

“I think she’d love that, Mikey.”

“What kinda flowers did Aunt Y/N like?”

Matt smiled softly as Paige held his left hand, letting her twist his wedding band around his finger timidly.

“Violets. She loved violets.”

[whakkicat]

i am leaving

i made a post on my twt about this, but i should make it here as well.

this is my last text post before i archive this account and start elsewhere. video about what’s been happening at some point.

this post will be a personal note to friends, mutuals, communities, etc, and what will happen from here.

brief warning for mentions of abuse

1. i want to start with a word towards the rain world community. first off, i want to thank rain world for giving me a home. for starting me off as an artist. i had never actively participated in a fandom before this, and it was a wonderful experience.

the game brought me and so many of my friends together, i met a lot of amazing artists, some of which i’m still shocked they’re my mutuals, and rain world itself changed my life for the better, i believe. it gave me hope and something to live for when nothing else did.

i’ve always been quite afraid of voicing myself, as i had never participated actively in a fandom before, therefore had never gotten used to talking in one. but to those who’ve stuck around, who have enjoyed my content, thank you.

2. to the people who have been there for me during the worst, who have let me know i am not alone in my suffering, it means so much to me. i really hope that i can still keep contact with many of the people i have met on here.

there have been so many kind people on this platform and it’s been a joy talking to you all. if this is goodbye, to some, i wish you all the best. it’s only what you deserve.

3. i will be reaching out to the main people who i owe art to, regardless of cmms or not. it is unprofessional of me not to keep track of myself and keep everyone waiting. my ADHD has not made it very easy for me. i apologize.

4. this point will mention abuse, so cw dealing and getting out of abuse this year was extremely hard for me, and is still taking its toll on me. it’s part of the reason i can’t stay, because i feel they still have power over me, even if they’re not actively in my life anymore.

as i move on, i don’t want to completely abandon my past, and everything that came out of that abuse in the first place. i am not abandoning myself, or forgetting what i went through. i want to grieve my younger, naive self as i go forward as an artist.

this doesn’t mean i’ve let them win and break me down. i won’t give up on myself. i need to be kinder to myself and heal, so being away from this will help. this also goes out to anyone else trapped in their friendships, relationships. you will be okay. talk to

please do not silence yourself for the sake of other people. your own feelings are just as valid and important as anyone else’s. don’t let people make you feel bad for feeling your own feelings.

5. to mutuals who’d like to stay in contact, i have a priv account on twitter i will mainly be using from now on. it won’t be used as much as it used to, considering this is a hiatus, but it will be where i will reside. you’re free to ask me in dms.

6. i’ve already begun starting over, i won’t be gone completely. if you happen to recognize me in the near future, please do not pester me about it. simply accept that i have restarted, as a brand, as an artist, and i’d like to start over from square one.

7. this account will also be public for the remainder of its existence, however i may clean it up for archival purposes. i don’t want to simply vanish, i am proud of some of the work i have published, and i don’t want it to be forgotten.

it’s a bit odd, considering most of my art is composed of doodles, non-serious jokes, and mostly fanart. hopefully i can make self indulgent art in the future. i’ve always wanted people to know my characters, but was always too afraid to actually talk to people.

closing point i’m sorry if my absence upsets anyone, if you are disappointed in me. i can’t stress enough that this year has been hard enough on me, and being here is hard enough. i want a fresh start. i want to be okay.

i love my fellow artists, my friends, everyone. there’s so many talented people i’ve met and i don’t ever want to forget them. my last post will be my video talking about my experiences this year, previous years, because i feel it’s important for me to come out about it.

this is a goodbye. i will miss many of you. here’s to hoping the rest of the year will be good for everyone! until our paths meet again. good luck out there

[steviewashere]

This may be a bit out there request (also feel free to ignore) for a small oneshot, but can I request some pure steve angst? him and hop sharing a drink, no ships, just two dudes talking about shitty things that have happened to them over the past few years. My boy desperately needs a father figure.

Okay, I'm so sorry this took so long to answer. I literally started writing it, forgot about it, and then came back and couldn't think of anything. And I also didn't have Hopper share too much, but I hope this suffices some. This was a fun challenge. <3

Pairing: Steve Harrington & Jim "Chief" Hopper CW: Discussion of Canon Traumatic Events, Brief Mention of Canon Violence Tags: Post-Canon, Post-Season 4, Angst and Hurt/Comfort

🫂—————🫂 He’d been sitting outside with his head between his knees for the better part of half an hour when the door creaked open behind him. Even as the footfalls, heavy and slow, made their way towards him, Steve didn’t dare drag his eyes up. Kept them securely at his feet. To the wooden step underneath him. On the off chance that whatever world existed around him was a mirage.

The person sits down next to him with an unceremonious grunt. Their breaths are as heavy as their steps. A swallow clicking in their throat, probably dry and overused. Something chilled is pressed against his denim clad thigh. And that’s when Steve finally draws enough effort to look up.

Hopper sits hunched, head pointed at the trees beyond his cabin, eyes darting between them. In his right hand is an offered, cold bottle of beer. A firm outstretched bridge. And Steve tentatively takes it. He’s not quite old enough to be partaking in this, Hopper should know that, but also—he’s not the chief anymore, is he? So, why should he care?

His beer is already uncapped when he raises it to his face. Knocking it back and taking it in with a deep swallow. The foam churning on his tongue, sugary between his teeth, and moist on his lips. He heaves a sigh. Mutters, “Thanks.”

Another bottle is drank from. The slosh against the sides of the glass an easy sound. Hopper smacks his lips together. “Looked like you needed one,” he states gruffly. A swig. “God knows I did with all that damn commotion in there.”

“Yeah,” Steve murmurs back, “it’s too loud for me.” He takes a small sip at his drink. Shifts the bottle back and forth between his palms, relishing in the crisp condensation on his skin. Begins to pick at the label where it looks like it’ll peel away easily, if he just gave it his full effort. “I don’t even know why I came over. I can’t stand noisy shit.”

“Feel like the old Steve Harrington that I’ve met would say otherwise,” Hopper muses. Instead of dignifying it with a response, Steve just nods his head in silent agreement. Because yeah, pre-November, 1983 Steve would be doing keg stands and chanting at the top of his lungs. Not moping around on the front porch of the ex-chief of police. Sharing beer of all things.

The noise inside the house floats out from under the crooked front door. A mixture of birdsong and laughter. The subtle soft chirps of crickets beginning to wake up. It’s good outside, the air cold on Steve’s face and the sun nearly set. He takes a deep breath and just absorbs.

“Sometimes,” Hop starts softly when their shared silence stretches too long, “sometimes I look at you and see myself.”

Steve swallows around nothing. “That a good thing?” He asks just as quiet.

“No,” Hopper answers honestly. “You look like you’d rather be under the dirt than be anywhere. There’s…you’re a lonely lookin’ nineteen year old.”

He shrugs. “Yeah, well—“ Steve sighs. “—maybe I’d rather that. All things considered, Hopper.” There are eyes on him, he can sense them through the aching joint of his left shoulder. They burn him. It hurts to have attention like this on him, after so much time alone. And he knows that he’s got Robin and the party members—he’ll maybe have Eddie if he pulls through in the hospital. But that doesn’t make his house any less silent, or his parents’ room any less dusty, or his bed any less cold.

“You got anybody you can talk to, kid? Outside of Robin?”

Steve sniffs. Picks at the label on his beer bottle. Tries not to notice his shaking hands. “Who ‘m I gonna talk to?” He asks lowly. “A shrink is gonna think I’m crazy, put me away. And y’know how my parents are. They aren’t going to believe me, let alone listen.”

Hopper’s leg bumps his. Beer bottle clinking against the porch as he sets it down. He ducks down, enough to make direct eye contact with Steve. His eyes are fierce, yet inviting and soft. Steve’s stomach churns. “Talk to me, then. You need an adult who will understand you? I’m right here.”

He scoffs. “What do you want me to talk about?”

“Anything. Everything. Something, Steve.” A hand lands gently on his shoulder. The warmth a lull, a sweet thing. And something inside of him begins to melt. But he doesn’t say anything, still. Hopper sighs long and winded. And the touch dissipates, leaving Steve drifted and yearning.

Behind them, Hopper’s cabin swells with noise. That raspy laugh of Robin’s. And Mike’s honk snorting. Even Jonathan is adding something, a few loud comments here and there. “I can’t believe we won!” Dustin crows and the others join in intense agreement. And Steve wonders why he can’t celebrate like they can. What happened to him. Where his joy lays in all this.

Hopper sips his beer again, looking out at the trees once more. Smacks his lips together. “I don’t know how to celebrate this shit,” he admits quietly. “I’m…Part of me is excited to not see my girl use those powers of hers again. To hopefully see her hair grow out. But another part of me is—I just remember all the bad shit that happened before we got to this point.”

“Yeah,” Steve croaks. He gulps a good third of his beer in one go. The sour bitterness of the drink burning his throat alive. When he pulls the bottle away, he absentmindedly rubs at the dark red demobat scar on his neck. “Especially when my body remembers and is covered in my failures,” he mutters.

Beside him, Hopper makes a noise of agreement. A hum. A grunt sort of thing. “I used to be a fat guy.” He half-heartedly chuckles. “Now I’m just this skinny dude with real short hair and the eyes of a World War Two soldier.”

Steve snorts. “And I used to have plain, blemish free skin. Now look at me, Hop.” He gestures loosely at his own face and neck when Hopper does turn and look over. “No amount of coconut oil—or whatever—is going to get rid of this shit. Like my mom keeps insisting on. I mean…She doesn’t know all the shit I’ve been through. The—The plate I took to the crown of my head or the needle to my neck or those Russian shitheads that knocked me senseless.”

Hopper’s breath hitches. Steve curses at himself internally. Remembers the haunted body that pulled him in close when they reconvened. Remembers the frantic calls from Jonathan, of all people, asking what to do when it comes to nightmares—“Not mine,” Jonathan had said, “Hop’s. He just…He just yells.” And even remembers the faint hints Hop gave: the relief in finding a jar of peanut butter, the biting cold, the labor, and the cells. The separation from who he used to be. The loneliness within what he’d gone through, which Steve knows all too well. “Russians?” Hopper softly implores anyway.

And part of Steve knows what he’s doing. The crack to his shell deepening, stretching. But he answers despite it all. Keeps his voice leveled, careful as to not be heard from inside the cabin. “Yeah,” he whispers, the syllables cracking. “Robs and Dustin and I, we all decoded this tape, right? There was Russian speech on it or whatever and I ended up finding the source of the intermission. It was coming from underneath Starcourt. So, y’know how stupid we all are, we went ahead and found these assholes and…Well I—“ He rubs the lip of his beer bottle to his own bottom lip. Eyes glossing over, remembering. “They were going to hurt Robin,” he states, his own voice like gravel, “and Dustin. And little Erica. So I did the stupid thing. Answered their interrogation. They didn’t like the answers; I earned a few punches. Went unconscious. Got hit with some truth serum drug bullshit. Threw up my guts, ended up with a concussion, saw a guy die in front of me, went home and threw up again in the shower, and then I went to bed.”

All at once, the world narrows to just them. Hopper’s completely silent though and Steve doesn’t want to glance over. See the pity written on his sullen, aged face. So he shrugs, takes another swig of his beer, and burps lightly when the carbonation comes up. Nonchalance. “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Right, Hop?” Steve pokes quietly. “Throw myself in danger for the people around me. Try to keep them on my good side. Show them I’m worth giving a shit about. Save ‘em. Love ‘em for a bit. Wait until they turn on me or whatever.

“I know you do it, too. So don’t try to lecture me,” Steve mutters, “At least we don’t have to do it again.”

He’s not sure what to really expect to any of that. But he doesn’t think he’d ever expect a firm, heavy arm to wrap around his shoulders. To tug him in close and warm. To hold him gently.

“I’m sorry, kid,” Hopper murmurs.

Steve tries to pull away, but the hand on his opposite bicep squeezes him back. “It’s not your fault, Hop. It’s—“

“You’re a kid, Steve,” he emphasizes. “A kid with a long fucking life ahead of you. And you’ve already seen enough for, well, for lifetimes. You should’a never been in any of this shit, none of you teens should’a. Not just those Russians, Steve. But for everything.”

He doesn’t feel like a kid. Doesn’t really feel like anything, but Hopper doesn’t need to know that right now. Sure, he’d understand. That liminal space after losing his daughter, right after war, before his world quite literally turned upside down—Hopper lived that nothingness for a long while. Maybe he lives it again, Steve isn’t sure.

But he just sighs. “You shouldn’t have been there, either,” Steve murmurs. His face is warm and his eyes sting. And before he really knows what’s happening, he’s crying. Hot tears that sear all the way down to the underside of his jaw. That don’t really produce much noise from him, but he supposes the terrible stuttering in and out is something.

“C’mere, kid,” Hopper mutters.

His beer gets set aside somewhere. Pulled even further in. Head nestled on Hopper’s shoulder, the fresh shave of his beard burning on Steve’s forehead. A hand between his shoulder blades and the other on the back of his head. Steve’s arms sit limp at his sides. But within Hop’s warmth, the musk of aftershave and Irish Spring soap, and his firm and careful hold—Steve finally breaks.

It’s not a catastrophic thing, like he had expected. It’s not all that quiet either.

Shoulders shaking, eyes heavy, and nose burning—Steve cries. Cries with the force of a sudden summer downpour. Heaves giant breaths as if he’s just come up from drowning. And he sobs against the bare skin of Hopper’s neck. Open mouthed. Wet exhales. Big globs of spit sticky between his lips.

When he can finally catch his breath, feel the exhaustion into his bones, he pulls back.

Hopper lays his hands on either side of Steve’s face. His own cheeks wet with tears. Sniffling. “I know, okay? I know, kid,” he says quietly. “You need a home to run to? A shoulder to cry on? You just need a good dad hug? Come over, okay? Steve, you just gotta come over.”

And with that, all Steve can do, is give in.

He cries again into Hopper’s shoulder.

Later, he’ll listen to Hopper in turn. Hug him just as fiercely. Laugh at the absurdity of it all. But this is nice. Just this for a little while longer.

For the first time in his life, though, he feels like he’s got a home to return to. An ear to hear him. And a heart to care about him.

🫂—————🫂 Thank you for the ask, this was an interesting one!

[mentally-a-slut]

Important Update!

Hello lovelies!

So, I have written two x readers at this point, both in second person. I have decided I'm going to write in either third or first person from now on, simply because it's more natural to me and I enjoy it more. That doesn't mean I won't do x reader, though! In fact, I have some important info about that.

Since I write for female readers, I would likely just refer to reader as 'her' in third person. I don't like using '(y/n)', s it'' likely just be nicknames or just pronouns instead.

I am happy to do request x readers! By that, I mean I would love to write a character for you, whether it be based off you or an OC of yours. If you're interested, please send me an ask with a name, a description of the character, and a brief summary of the plot or just an idea you have. This will help me develop my character writing skills, and overall improve the quality of my writing.

In other news, I would like to tell y'all about my OCs! I have quite a few, for different fandoms, and each are shipped with specific characters. If anyone is interested in learning about any of them, please let me know! You can anonymously request or leave a comment on any post! I have art of them by me, and I'm in the process of writing fics for most of them. My point is, I would really love for you guys to get to know my girls, and I would be really happy if I could write for them on here too! I'm going to list some info about each OC to see if anyone is interested! If so, feel free to request prompts or one shots for me to write them into!

Josie! So hear me out on this one, she is my red dead 2 OC, and she's Sean's older sister. She's paired with both Arthur and Charles, and they are set to be in a poly relationship. They are all romantically involved, not just with her. Meaning Charles and Arthur are also in love with each other. Her full name is Josephine Maguire, and she is a well-known bounty hunter under the alias 'Lady Luck.' Her backstory is too long to dive into here, so if anyone want's a full post about her, please lmk! I love love love this girl, so please express your interest.

Laena! She is (one of) my BG3 OCs, shipped with Gale because he is my soulmate and I can't romance anyone else. She's a storm sorcerer and had a traumatic past that I will get into later if requested, but she spent some of her childhood in Waterdeep and knew him when they were kids. They reunite when they both get infected, and it goes from there. There is a lot to her character, so trust me when I say she is worth it.

Estelle! Now, this one is a bit strange, considering I didn't mention this fandom in my intro, but she is my Stardew Valley OC! I saw on TikTok people talking about non-human farmers trying to hide it and failing, and I got the idea of Estelle. She's a nature spirit hybrid that was taken in by the owner of the farm and that's how she inherited it. There's far more to her history but that's for another time. Her love interest is Harvey. I have a whole thing about her family history so there's tons to learn about her!

So, just to recap, I will no longer write in second person, I would love to do specific requests for you or your characters, and I hope to write stuff with my personal OCs for y'all!

Please let me know in the comments or an anon ask if you're shy! Don't be a silent lurker, I love y'all but the feedback is over half the motivation for artists. I hope to get some requests from y'all and I look forward to (hopefully) sharing my OCs with you!

Take care lovelies! - Azi >:)

[hwabang]

your jungwon x older reader posts had me thinking: jealous jungwon vs older idol who has admitted to having a crush on reader and every knows (even reader lol). and they both end up being pitied against each other in a variety show game.

how do you think jealous jungwon would react / act during the variety show game?

bonus: reader is a guest mc for it and sees jealous jungwon

(whether jungwon and reader are in a public or private relationship is up to you)

A Little Push - Yang Jungwon

Genre: slight angst + fluff

Warnings: fem!reader, idol!reader x idol!jungwon, '03 reader, friends to lovers, sad jungwon, jealous jungwon, mentions of SKZ's LeeKnow, two mentions of ITZY's Ryujin, use of the word Noona, brief description of kiss scene, cursing, slight aggression from Jungwon's side

Author’s Note: IT'S SO MUCH PLOT I'M SORRY LMAOOO! but this is such a cute request, thank you for sending it in! feel free to send in more and i hope you like this one <3

Word Count: little less than 3k

(gif not mine!)

There is not a single K-Pop fan in the world who doesn't know of Jungwon's crush on you.

They didn't even have to be a fan of your group or ENHYPEN's. Just being a K-pop fan, of any group, there are some industry things you know well. And this was one of them.

Jungwon had been basically infatuated with you since his I-LAND days. But he didn't act on it until this year, when he became an adult. Sure he's only a year younger than you, but he knew that if he wasn't also an adult when hitting on you, you wouldn't take him seriously.

However you were making it quite hard for Jungwon. Jungwon had confessed his undying love for you so many times in public; during lives, during variety shows, en o'clock; you name it. At first everyone thought it was a running joke between the two of you; maybe you guys just have that type of friendship. But that opinion was quickly changed when clips of Jungwon looking at you with love and adoration circled the internet.

Although he was constantly flirting with you and caring for you, Jungwon never outright confessed his feelings directly to you. Once, he said it during a variety show, but the whole point of the game was to raise your heartbeat. And so being the competitive person he is, he confessed to you on camera. But that definitely was no real confession that you'd accept.

You were always asked about this on variety shows or your own lives; whether you liked Jungwon back or not but you never gave a clear answer. You always said something along the lines of how much you appreciate Jungwon's attraction towards you, leaving your fans and ENGENES quite confused on your feelings. Sometimes you would comment how cute he is, or how hot he looks when watching some ENHYPEN related content for your lives, but that's about it. Nobody else knew how you felt for Jungwon.

Nobody except the one and only LeeKnow.

Being in a company where idols act like family, like in JYPE, you grew quite close to many idols and that includes the members of STRAYKIDS. As close as you were to your fellow label mates, you weren't planning on telling a single soul that you reciprocated Jungwon's love for, even if that single soul was one of your group member's.

You didn't plan on telling anyone, but that doesn't mean people couldn't figure it out.

Everyone who knew you well knew you had a thing for Jungwon. Did they know you liked him as much as he liked you? Well, some did. One of them being LeeKnow.

He was currently an MC for a newer variety show that was going crazy in Korea right now. His co-MC was Ryujin, but she got quite sick so he was scrambling to find a temporary MC for the upcoming episode and he remembered you were talking about wanting to try MC-ing for a while.

That, and this episode was gonna feature ENHYPEN.. and LeeKnow had a devilish plan.

You had joined him on set for a brief run-through of tomorrow's episode with ENHYPEN, when he told you his plan; he was gonna flirt with you and do everything in his power to make Jungwon jealous. "That sounds evil, Minho."

He nodded. "Yeah? It's my plan."

You shook your head, not believing the words coming out of this man, your sunbaenim's, mouth. "Well your plan has so many flaws. Why are we trying to purposely hurt Jungwon's feelings?"

"Because you like him?" he said matter of factly. "What better way to get a guy to confess to you than to push him to his limits? Sometimes a little push is all it takes y'know."

"... As much as I agree.. I don't wanna do that to Jungwon. And besides, who would I flirt with? If I flirt with his members, he's gonna be more hurt than jealous if anything."

"No no we won't stoop that low. You'll flirt with me."

You crossed your arms and giving him a look as if silently calling him crazy. "You're fucking kidding."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm in need of an MC, I ask the girl I'm close with even though she's never MCed a day in her life; why? Because I'm trying to spend more time with her! So I flirt with her! It's the perfect plot Y/N."

"You're not my type."

LeeKnow put a hand over his heart, feigning offense. "You're not my type either dipshit. Which is why it works perfectly. I pretend to flirt with you a bit, you fake shyness and play into it, you get the guy and our friendship stays the same."

"... I don't know..."

"Hey no pressure, but just think of it as some fun."

With a bit more coercion from your good friend, you agreed. And so you were just anticipating what would happen in a week from today, which came real soon.

It was now the filming day, and you were doing everything in your power to avoid ENHYPEN ever since they got here. You were busy and nervous for your first MC gig, yes, but also you were kinda avoiding Jungwon.

Not Jungwon, but the shift in his energy that would happen once Minho started "flirting" with you. But your tactics of avoiding him had come to an end.

"Noona!"

You turned around and saw Jungwon cheekily smiling at you. He jogged over to you and stood right in front of you, looking down at you with a glitter in his eyes. "There you are. Hi," he said cutely.

"Hi," you returned with the same energy. You turned back to your desk and started picking up your cue cards. "What's up?"

"Nothing. I've been trying to greet you ever since I got here, but I feel like you're ignoring me."

You could hear the pout on his face so you turned around and your thought was confirmed. "Sorry Jungwon-ah.. I'm just nervous to be an MC."

"Don't be nervous Noona. You're an ace, you're good at everything you do. I'll give you encouragement throughout the filming, okay?"

You gave him a genuine smile, your heart jumping at how cute he was, but it didn't last long.

"Hey gorgeous."

Both yours and Jungwon's heads whipped to the side where you saw Minho coming towards you guys with a playful smirk on his lips.

He walked up to you and leaned in real close, still smirking. "You look really good."

You eyed Jungwon before responding, who had a very confused look on his face. "I-it's just my makeup artist.. did a really good job today."

Minho hummed, pretending to check you out. "Nah, it's all you beautiful." Minho wrapped an arm around your shoulder, something you gave him the okay for earlier, before he looked towards Jungwon. "Sorry Jungwon-ah, did I interrupt your conversation?"

He looked a bit taken back before quickly shaking his head, but the scowl on his face was still there. "N- No Hyung, you're good. I just came over..."

Jungwon trailed off seeing Minho's hand slid down to your waist and pull you in closer. "Alright. Well I'm gotta get my makeup fixed. You two finish your conversation." Minho then turned to you and winked. "See you out there sexy."

After Minho walked away there was awkward silence between you and Jungwon for a bit, before he looked down and scoffed, chuckling a little. "Didn't know Minho Hyung had a thing for you."

You were a bit flustered, not knowing how to answer since you didn't want to necessarily hurt Jungwon. "Yeah I uh, didn't know either..."

"You look good together," he admitted while clenching his jaw.

You shook your head. "Jungwon it's not–"

"No, I get it. He's good looking, smart, funny, talented; all around a good guy."

"You are too," you defended.

"But he's older than you."

"Jungwon-ah–"

"You like older guys, of course you do. Why would you like someone like m–"

"Jungwon!" You interrupted him by cupping his cheek. You stared into his eyes, hesitating before making your next move. "We'll talk about this later okay?" You softly kissed his cheek and moved back a little to see his reaction, which was priceless. His cheeks were blushing a pinkish rose color, his eyes had that sparkle again, and his lips were pursed as if he's trying to contain a huge smile. Your hand lingered on his cheek before giving it a little pat and then you walked away, getting ready to start filming.

The filming was going very well. All of ENHYPEN seemed to be enjoying and were quite comfortable filming with you and LeeKnow. As for you, you were actually a lot less nervous once the camera started rolling. Maybe it's the idol in you? Sure. Or maybe it's Jungwon giving you sly thumbs ups whenever he could, encouraging smiles, quick winks that he really attempted to do.

Jungwon's mood quickly dejected once the games started. A heartbeat monitor was hooked up to you and the objective of this game was to see which team of the two could get your heart beating the fastest. They were allowed to come close to you, say pick up lines, do aegyo; basically anything but touch you.

Since ENHYPEN are an odd number of people, LeeKnow joined the team with less people. So now you had Niki, Jay, Heeseung, and LeeKnow on one team. The other team was Jake, Sunghoon, Sunoo, and Jungwon.

For Team 1, Niki went first. Your heart rate didn't go up too much with him, although you were a little flustered at his attempt at flirting. However he was laughing too much which in the end made you laugh along.

Jake was up first for his team, which gave the 2nd team all the confidence they needed. As much as Jungwon didn't wanna admit it, Jake was an expert at flirting so he knew you'd get flustered easily which is an advantage for their team. True to his reputation Jake was able to get you flustered, much to Jungwon's dismay. He quickly suppressed the jealousy he felt and continued on enjoying the game.

It was a close tie now. Jay and Sunghoon were up against each other; Sunghoon was able to fluster you while Jay ended up bursting out laughing. Same thing happened with Heeseung and Sunoo; Heeseung easily flustering you.

Now it was Jungwon's turn; the one you were anticipating the most. He smirked slightly before coming up to you and crouching down, getting really close to your face. "Noona, why won't you date me."

Your heart was rapidly beating but your heart rate didn't go up, shocking everyone.

"Eh?!" Sunoo exclaimed. "How come?"

You stuck your tongue out at Jungwon. "Obviously, you made one grave mistake in that Jungwon-ah."

Everyone knew that Jungwon instantly could tell what the mistake was, but LeeKnow decided to let him know anyways with a snicker. "Yah Yang Jungwon, do you really like Y/N? If you did you would know she likes older guys!"

Jungwon didn't have a reaction, trying not to start something with his sunbae while filming. "Ani, Hyung, she likes younger guys too."

Minho nodded while still laughing. "Yeah, but not when the younger guys call her Noona." He stepped up to you, unconsciously shoving Jungwon aside. "Let me show you how it's done," he smirked.

He did the same thing Jungwon did, getting real close up to you still holding his signature smirk. "Hmm, baby, you have some hair covering your beautiful face. Can I move it for you?" Wordlessly you nodded and let LeeKnow tuck some strands of your hair behind your ear. After he was done he let out a sexy chuckle and whispered in your ear but the mic picked it up; "Good girl."

Every one watched the monitor as your heart rate shot from 84 to 105, indicating Team 1's win. Heeseung and Niki ran around the set screaming in excitement while Jay went to collect the prize. The other team was sulking except Jungwon. Jungwon's jaw was tightly clenched and he couldn't move his eyes away from where you and LeeKnow were now standing.

The rest of the filming went smoothly, accept it was clear Jungwon was out of it. Poor baby tried his best, but he couldn't get the results of the flustering you game out of his head; how your heart rate increased that much with a man that wasn't him.

After filming was done, everybody headed back to their respective spots where they were before filming had started. You were talking to LeeKnow about how the show went when you heard someone clear their throat behind you two. You turned around and were greeted by Jungwon, who had an unreadable expression on his face. "Excuse me Hyung, if you're done talking to Y/N Noona now, I'd like to speak with her."

LeeKnow tried not to smirk and nodded instead, turning back to you. "Well, my offer still stands Y/N-ah. Text me when you come up with a decision. I'll see around the company." He gave you a side hug and said goodbye to Jungwon before leaving you two be.

After he left you walked a bit further to a secluded area so nobody could hear you two talk; you had a feeling this conversation shouldn't be for all ears. "Yeah Jungwon, what is it?"

"Y/N."

"Huh?"

"I'm gonna call you by your name now. No more Noona. I didn't think you'd mind anyways. That's fine right?"

Still quite taken a back, you nodded. "Y-yeah, that's fine..."

"What are you playing at Y/N?" he questioned.

You tilted your head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I thought we had something!" he exclaimed. "Every time I flirt with you, you never reject it so I thought you felt the same way! Then I come here today and see LeeKnow Hyung flirting with you too! You kiss my cheek, and then turn and let him flirt with you again!" Jungwon let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair and speaking to you in a much more calmer tone. "It hurts okay? I've liked you– No, I-I've loved you.. for so long now. You never hit on me but you let me hit on you, so I thought this was going somewhere. And now to see someone else flirting with you.."

"Jungwon..."

"No, let me finish. I'm afraid if I don't get this out now, it'll stay in me forever... I know I'm younger than you and you don't think I'm mature enough but I am! I can be exactly what you're looking for in a man. J-just tell me straight Y/N, please," he begged.

You felt absolutely terrible. What could you say now to make up for the trouble you put Jungwon through today? Nothing seemed to be enough in your head, so you decided to show him instead.

You were already by a wall, so you backed yourself into it and pulled Jungwon by his shirt into you, colliding your lips with his.

He was quite shocked but quickly recovered, closing his eyes and melting into the kiss. His left hand went on the wall next to your head and his right arm snaked around your waist, pulling you further into him.

After a few seconds of kissing you pulled away and rested your hands on Jungwon's shoulders. You looked straight into his blown out eyes, letting your gaze rest their for a bit.

"Y/N..." he breathed out.

"Why didn't you directly confessed to me before today, hmm?" you cooed.

"I-I don't know.. I think I just chicken out every time... y-you're too pretty and I can't handle it."

You giggled and cupped his cheek again just like last time. "Cute. I like you too Wonnie."

His eyes lit up at both the confession and the nickname falling from your lips. "You do? You actually do?"

You nodded. "Will you go on a–"

"Wait!" he interrupted with a bashful look on his face. "I-I wanna be the one to ask... Will you go on a date with– Actually no. Will you be my girlfriend Y/N?"

Your response was a kiss on his cheek before you wrapped your arms around him tightly.

Jungwon giggled and wrapped his arms around your waist too. You hugged for a moment before he pulled away. "Wait, what about LeeKnow Hyung?"

"Ah..." you blushed. "That "flirting" was an evil plan created by him to get you to confess to me?"

"Really!? So he doesn't like you?"

You shook your head in reassurance. "We don't have any feelings for each other, like at all. I promise."

"Then what was he telling you earlier? H-he wanted you to text him after coming up with a decision.. I thought he asked you out.."

You bursted out laughing at the absurdness. "God no! ITZY is going on tour soon and he needs an MC to replace Ryujin, so he was asking if I wanted to do it. That's it."

Jungwon sighed in relief and smiled, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "Thank God.. hey are you free for the rest of the day?"

"Yeah why?"

"Let's go on a date today."

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Prompt: “He doesn't love me. He's not that stupid.”

Song: Rosyln - Bon Iver

For Tolya x Reader please!! could be with Tamar and he overhears etc. or something else x

By Stars - Tolya Yul Bataar

Yes.

Is this sad or angsty, I honestly cant even tell anymore it is my default.

Content Warnings: No Beta/Proof Reading, Feelings???

"This is a celebration," Jesper reminds you, handing you a drink.

You take it, nod at him and hope his attention will return to Wylan, but Tamar is watching you like a hawk. She has been trying to decipher exactly what you're thinking since the burning of The Darkling's body.

She'd rather hoped some of that infectious hope and joy her brother was expressing would have reached you by now. But you were still quiet.

She has her best guess as to why. Tamar, no stranger to romance, to the eyes that linger longer than they should. To the way a heart beats that much faster when they move near. To the way a tone can change when speaking a name. Tolya may be the one to read the high romances of poetry but Tamar is the one to know them, to recognise them.

And you have been holding your breath, keeping your self close, arms tight across your chest, focusing on keeping your heartbeat as calm as you can, trying not to give yourself away.

Tolya smiles at you from his seat and there it is, that leap in your chest and Tamar's guess has all the evidence she needs.

"Okay," Jesper smiles, another drink in, "go on then, read us something you gentle giant."

Tolya laughs and looks up from his book. "From this?" he asks.

"From a confession if you like," Jesper says, leaning back and into Wylan who is watching him with those bright adoring eyes of his. Had you ever had doubt in love, the time spent with the crows would have swayed any doubt. Nina's dedication to freeing her love. The selfless and understanding quiet of the love Kaz and Inej clearly share. And the love that is bright and shining between Jesper and Wylan, so bright even through all of his obliviousness Tolya noticed.

"I still recall the wondrous moment: When you appeared before my sight As though a brief and fleeting omen, Pure phantom in enchanting light," Tolya reads aloud. Wylan turns his eyes from Jesper to smile at Tolya.

"You know I find that quite wonderful," Wylan states.

"Don't encourage him," Tamar groans. "He will start recalling from memory."

"If you insist sister," Tolya's tone is jovial and light and Tamar tries to brush his words away with a hand and a glare, but it does not discourage him. "In ecstasy the heart is beating, Old joys for it anew revive; Inspired and Saints-filled, it is greeting The fire, and tears, and love alive."

"Excuse me," you say getting up. Tolya's eyes follow you as you leave, but it's Tamar who walks out the door behind you.

"You are upset," Tamar says, joining you by the wall outside.

"I am not," you attempt to lie.

"Well I could've told you that isn't true without the ability to listen to your heartbeat," Tamar says. She bumps your shoulder gently, a reassuring gesture, a familiar one. "Talk to me."

"There's not much to talk about," you say.

"Because you're stubborn and want to keep your feelings to yourself or because he is my brother?" she asks out right. You whip your head to the side to look at her and she shrugs it off, giving a knowing look up to the sky. "I am not too wrapped up in the pretty women to ignore those around me."

"Nadia is very pretty," you say, trying you deflect.

"I am surprised you noticed, I thought you only had eyes for my brother."

"I don't have eyes for your brother."

"Oh, and the second lie so far," Tamar says, "come on, you don't have to lie to me, or to you, if it runs that deep."

"I... what is the point?" You ask.

"You have feelings and they're clearly affecting you, that's the point," Tamar says.

"That's my own fault," you say.

"Walk me through it," Tamar insists. You want to tell her to leave it be, but Tamar is persistent. And also brutally honest, so maybe hearing the need to move past and move on from her mouth instead of just the voice in your head will finally do the trick.

"We made it," you say quietly.

"We did," she smiles.

"We... all made it," you reiterate.

"By the Saints."

"And he was so happy and so proud and he had," you inhale deeply, "and he shares that joy so willingly."

"He is always himself," Tamar agrees, her eyes are watching your smaller movements, listening to the shuddering of your breath. She wants to help, to calm you down, to push off your nerves, but you asked long ago for no interference and she respects that. You want to feel what you feel, even now, even when you don't.

"So when he said he was so glad that I was okay, and he wrapped his arms around me, I forgot how to breathe, and for one- blindingly stupid moment I thought... I don't know what I thought, and it doesn't matter because it wasn't real."

"I wouldn't assume to know my brothers feelings so easily," Tamar says, "he might surprise you."

"Tamar, I fell in love with your brother a long time ago, he does nothing but surprise me," you say. Tamar tilts her head impressed at the honesty, impressed more at the bluntness.

"You cannot know his mind without talking to him," Tamar says.

“He doesn't love me. He's not that stupid.”

"To love you isn't stupid," she says, "besides if he did not love you, that would not be about you. I am somewhat convinced my brother is not built that way."

"Between his books and his faith what more could he need?" you ask.

"You're asking the wrong person," Tamar points out.

"I am not asking," you reply, "not really."

He held on just a moment longer than you thought he would, smiling down at you and that was it took for your hopes to jump high above your expectations, and come crashing down into you when he finally let you go. You do not know what you thought would happen, that you would win, all make it out alive and finally the timing would be right, things would be different, you would know it because you would feel it in the way he looks at you. But all you feel is this regret at letting yourself think it would change, letting yourself be disappointed in something that you knew would never happen. Your love for Tolya did not need to be requited but in the moments you hoped it would be, you had broken your own heart.

"For someone who reads so much of romance, with such a true admiration for the poetics of love, my brother is not always aware enough to recognise it, I have watched the same two lovestruck fools dance around each other for the same time that he has, and he has seen nothing where I have seen all that was unsaid but equally wanted," Tamar gestures. "He would not presume to know your feelings for him, because he sees love as something on a page, between the words and the mind. I think he has never considered it as something he might do, but that isn't to say he can't."

"I do not think you give him enough credit, you should have seen him with Jesper and Wylan," you state.

"A blind man could see what was happening between Jesper and Wylan," Tamar offers. "I think you should talk to him."

"I do not wish to waste my time Tamar, and it would be better that he know not at all, keep him in this blissful ignorance instead of him feeling some obligation to be delicate around me," you say.

"My brother would not treat you differently out of pity, his feelings are only ever genuine, and his actions intentional," Tamar defends.

"I do not want him to see me differently, and I do not want to hurt myself further, please let me wallow in peace," you say. Tamar sighs.

"You won't come back inside?" she asks.

"To listen to him read poems about love, show the beauty of romance, and wish for something else?" you ask. "No I shall wait for this feeling to pass, as it will pass, and I can be normal for him again."

Tamar just shakes her head, and says nothing else as she leaves.

You stare up and the sky is so dark and the stars so bright that that ring of light is soaking into the darkness, giving the stars a bigger brighter saturation, and you just want to breathe the cold air in and deep better. But you now just feel alone.

You feel the movement behind you before you hear the approach. "Tamar I have nothing more to say about it," you say.

"Not Tamar," comes Tolya's voice and startles you. You turn to look at him and he is so much closer than you realised, you want to chastise yourself for not noticing, for letting your guard so completely down.

But you were always like that with Tolya.

"I did not mean to upset you," Tolya says.

"How much did you hear?" you ask, leaning back on the balls of your feet, the guilt of all you may have put on him pulling at you. He goes to speak but his eyes give him away. "So everything." You sigh. "it's not your fault Tolya. My feelings are my responsibility."

"And so are mine," he says, coming to stand beside you as Tamar had before him. "You know, for all my love of poetry, I cannot claim to have felt what these poets have in their ways."

"Tolya, you don't have to explain," you say quickly, "I did not mean to put this on you-,"

"You are putting nothing on me," he states.

"I am not asking you to love me," you say, looking at your hands, begging them to stay steady.

"I know you're not, but I am not telling you I don't," he says. You look at him now, and his eyes are soft and golden, and his expression kind and light. He looks like the things poetry talks about, by the light of the starred night. "I care about you, and I don't know if it's in the way you want me to, but I don't know if I have ever felt that way, or if I will ever feel that way, but I need you to know that in my way, in all the ways I know how I do love you." You give him a weak smile and he feels your heartbeat steady for the first time all day. "Maybe I am just that stupid."

"You heard that?" You ask, relaxing enough to allow your shoulders to lean against him.

"I can pretend I didn't if you like," he offers. You laugh, and it's gentle, like the moment.

"I loved you: love may not have died

completely in my soul,

but don’t let it disturb you,

I don’t wish you any pain," you recite, your breath standing cold in the air, but the feeling ever warmer than before.

"I loved you without hope or voice," Tolya continues.

with diffidence, jealousy,

as tenderly, truly, as Saints grant

you may be loved again."

[tialinffxiv]

FFXIV Writing Challenge 2024

Prompt #8: (you pick!) Wings

Related to my previous entry: Morsel I decided to write more about this- this now is what happened before, so yes, my stories here are all over the place chronology-wise. Note: Adam is a winged half-Voidsent with a special ability to visit people's dreams and able to "pull" them into self-made ones while they sleep. He's also a shard of Kai, from 13th and can "fuse" with Kai, using his body as vessel.

“So, how are you feeling?” Adam sat backwards on a chair in front of Kai, leaning chin on hands crossed on its backrest. “I would like you to be fully conscious in this dream, so I’m making sure.”

“Yeah, I think all is fine. I’m fully aware.”

Adam smiled at him. Kai learned the tricks of lucid dreaming quite fast- and that was giving much more options for Adam to find something they could bond with. “Alright, so first thing- I wanted to talk about what happened back then during Kult’s fight with Mr Alpha.”

Kai frowned and rubbed his right arm at the memory. It was still healing in reality after it got broken when he interrupted that fight- here however he could use it free of pain.

Adam noticed his gesture and sighed quietly. “Well, let’s skip all the not-so-great parts now. What I wanna discuss is the very moment when we moved as one to jump in there. What happened then and how did you feel.”

Kai crossed arms on chest, tapping fingers while trying to recall that moment. “I’m not sure what happened but… at some point I heard you yell in my head and it was exactly the same thing I was thinking in that second- that I needed to stop them. Then something like a kick of energy and I… we rushed forward. Then… I suddenly felt so light. And powerful. It was such a very short moment but it felt so exciting. And there was something else…” Kai opened and closed mouth, gazing over Adam like if in search of a clue. And there it actually was. Kai’s eyes lightened up “Wings! I could feel your wings on my back, for just a very brief moment but…”

Adam smiled brightly, tilting head on him and ruffling his wings a bit. “Did you like it?”

“Yes.” Kai nodded lively. “It was like barely a split second but… it was a great feeling.”

“Would you like to experience it again?” Adam gazed over the frown on Kai’s face and chuckled. “I mean of course without all the pain and stupid heroic actions like that, heh.”

Kai stared at him, while Adam got up from his chair and walked closer, then reached hand to Kai, helping him stand up too. “Don’t worry, I won’t even try to attempt that ‘fusion’ thing again. We already got a taste of the side effects of it, so I won’t be risking that even here. But I have something better!”

Kai blinked when Adam suddenly clapped hands- at first he stared in confusion. But then he noticed the unfamiliar weight and the weird pressure on his back. He gasped loudly, clumsily trying to spread the big, dark-brown wings now attached to his back.

“So, what you sa–” Adam tried to ask but got brutally stopped by a slap of brown feathers when Kai spun around out of sudden, wings flapping without much of control, as he was trying to take a better look at them. “Hey–” Adam dodged another slap. “Hey now, little sparrow, chill a bit!” he laughed, trying to catch Kai’s hands to make him stay still. “Slow down, you need to first get used to them.” he managed to grab his hand and Kai stopped swirling around for a moment. “That’s better. Let me show you now how to–” Adam got quiet and stared, quite stunned.

Kai was laughing quietly- so warmly and happily. Like a little kid, enjoying his new toy. Maybe just a little bit hoarse, as someone so not used to laughing at all.

Adam grabbed his hands, held them close between them and entwined their fingers together. He smiled, thinking how silly he is to get so moved by it that his eyes got a bit wet actually. But seeing the cheerful smile on his face… it was such a big thing. “I assume that you like it.” he chuckled and Kai responded with a lively nod. “Okay, but now try to breathe slowly and calm down a little.”

“Alright… this just feels so great. I never knew you could do such things.”

“Trust me that seeing you like this is probably even better” Adam beamed at him, rubbing Kai’s hands with thumbs. “Now, I will teach you how to actually get control over them. Because we shared your body you technically should have some sort of ‘muscle memory’ about them from me, like I do about your body. So just few basic things you should know~”

“Thank you.”

Adam smiled warmly in response. “Let’s teach you to fly, little bird!”