#Also mind you I GOTTA RECOGNIZE YOU IN ORDER FOR YOU TO GET ONE OF THESE

[venacoeurva]

Well since there's interest in nsfw comms, I'll go about making a rules list for it which will probably just be screenshots of the Notes or Pages app because that's easier to do, easy to read, and I can go back and edit it in the future when I gotta

[inkedells]

hear me out: dbf!joel railing u on a bed full of plushies HEKSHDKS <3 maybe ur clutching or biting onto one and he's just cooing at u calling u a good girl HEHE

ok don't mind me popping my mf pussy w this drabble (ALSO YES THIS IS THE DBF!JOEL REQUEST THAT DROVE ME CRAZY YALL)

summary/bg info: coming home from college for winter break and acting on the sexual tension that exists between you and your dad’s best friend, joel--while finding extra comfort in your childhood plushies.

words: ~700

mdni! | requests open but responses not guaranteed.

“God, you’re a fuckin’ shy little thing, aren’t you?”

Your mouth only gaped open around a silent moan as your back arched against your childhood bed. You weren’t sure how it ended up in your hands, but you were clutching your favorite plushie, a brown bear with matted curly fur, as Joel continued his ministrations against your clit. The sight of the waistband of your sleep shorts stretched around his wrist was intoxicating, and so was the way his hand moved from underneath the thin cover of its fabric.

“Joel,” you whined, biting your lip as your hips grinded against his hand.

“Mm, that’s right. Only I know how to take care of this pretty pussy. Go ahead, sweetheart, hug your stuffies. I know you wanna.”

You hummed at that, nodding enthusiastically. Your breathing uneven and frantic from arousal, you lazily gathered the plushies surrounding you in your arms as Joel manhandled you until your ass was in the air and your cheek was pressed against the numerous stuffed toys cradled in your arms.

“Now listen here, baby girl. You’re gonna let me fuck this,” He paused to trail a finger along your seam through the fabric of your shorts, as if to make clear exactly what “this” was referring to, “And all you gotta do is keep making those pretty noises and cuddling your little toys, yeah?”

You whined high in your throat in confirmation as Joel slipped his hands underneath the hem of your shorts to palm your ass. 

“Not good enough,” He tsked, still massaging circles into your plump flesh, “Repeat it back to me.”

You swallowed, a blush creeping up on the apples of your cheeks as you clutch handfuls of stuffies. “You’re gonna… fuck… me—”

“—Fuck what?”

You groaned, turning to bury your face in the pile of stuffed toys beneath you. “My pussy,” You mumbled. You were positive your face was already beet red from embarrassment.

“Didn’t quite catch that,” He teased. You knew fully well he heard you, but indulging him in this manner was only making the heat between your legs grow hungrier, so you complied.

“You’re gonna fuck my pussy,” You said clearly, “And I’m—I’m gonna cuddle my stuffies while you use it.”

Satisfied with your response, Joel tugged your shorts down until you felt cool air hitting your pussy. Not for long, though, because soon the radiating heat of Joel’s cock was taking over as he swept his weeping tip through your folds.

“Gonna put it in now, ‘kay baby girl?” He voiced in that gravelly low rumble, and although he posed it as a question, you were smart enough to recognize it as a warning for the inevitable. Joel didn’t bother properly stretching you out, he wanted it tight so it would swallow him up just the way he wanted.

He slammed into you, ripping a coarse moan from your throat before the pain of the stretch became too much and you bit down on one of the stuffies in order to stave off a scream.

“Aww,” He mocked, “Is it hurting you, sweetheart?”

“So… big,” You managed to get out, eyes droopy and your brain completely mush as he pistoned in and out of your inviting heat, “Too… big…”

“Oh, fuck,” He groaned to himself, “You really are stretched. Fucking ruined you.” His breathing intensified as he lightly traced where you and him met with his fingers, clearly aroused by the contrast between your tight little cunt and the way his huge cock is forcibly stretching it open. His feathery touches combined with his abrupt, punishing thrusts had you pushing your ass back even further against his front, craving the abusive jerking of his hips.

Joel breathed an amused laugh at that. “Actually, it seems like it’s just the right amount of big if it’s got you pushing back for more. You like it painful, huh?”

“F-Fuck, Joel, yeah. Yeah, I love it painful. God, please, fill me up Joel. Your cum, I want it, please.”

Joel faked a wince at your words. “Looks like the innocent little girl’s suddenly got a mouth on her. That happen a lot? Does cock tend to get you dirty mouthed?”

With your cheek pressed into one of your stuffies, you peered up at him from the corner of your eye as you breathed the words, “Just yours.” It was only barely loud enough for him to hear it over the wet sounds of him fucking into your dripping pussy. In fact, you weren't even sure if he had heard you until a hint of a smile crossed his face and he told you in that warm, rumbly rasp, "Mm, I know. Because you're my good girl," with every proceeding thrust reeking of pride.

see my masterlist here

A/N: may or may not do a permanent taglist? not sure yet, just depends on the demand for it soooo maybe let me know in my asks if you want to be on a *possible* taglist for my fics (i only rlly write joel).

anyway thank you all for the support for this blog and my fics!!! truly love you all, and def don't be afraid to reach out and say hello, i need more mutuals whether you're a writer or not!!

taglist for this fic: @777-wonders , @scarlettstarlettsarletts , @pedrosbabygirl , @deathsholywaterr , @devilmademewriteit

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

Can you do weathervane employee!reader when Xavier is there on outreach day?

I’m almost out of Xavier requests!! Keep them coming and fill this form if you want to be on my taglists. Would anyone be interested in Xavier x Reader x Ajax? Should I start writing for Ajax too? Let me know <3

keep sending requests for Xavier

—

Outreach Day was the Jericho citizens' least favorite day. It wasn’t a secret that Nevermore Academy wasn’t very loved by the normies — as the outcasts would call them —, but Nevermore insisted on having their students volunteering in town every year.

You were busy cleaning the coffee beans you had spilled five minutes ago when the café’s bell jingled, announcing a customer. ‘’Welcome to Weathervane. Please hold in your order or else I’m gonna get fired for making another mess.’’

Your back was turned so you didn’t see the Nevermore student, mistaking him for a customer.

‘’Eh, I’m not here for coffee,’’ a boy’s voice said. ‘’I’m here for Outreach Day. I’ve been assigned to volunteer here.’’

Shit. You had completely forgotten about Outreach Day. Your co-worker had grumbled about it while helping you with the closing, but it had slipped out of your mind during the night.

You quickly wiped the rest of the coffee grounds and tossed them in the trash. Where was Tyler? He’s the assistant manager. Shouldn’t he be the one taking care of the Nevermore student?

When you finally turned, you were pleasantly surprised to see a boy with shoulder length hair and the prettiest green eyes.

‘’Hi. Welcome to Weathervane.’’ You flashed him a smile, completely forgetting you had already greeted him with those exact words when he walked in. Why must you do embarrassing things?

‘’Hi,’’ he greeted back, returning your smile. ‘’Do you need help with those spilled coffee grounds?’’

You shook your head. ‘’I’m good. It’s all cleaned up.’’

‘’Then you’ll get to keep your job,’’ he inferred with a small smile on his face. ‘’I’m Xavier, by the way.’’

Your smile twitched at the corner. Not only was he handsome, but also effortlessly charming. How were you going to get through your day?

‘’Y/N,’’ you said in return. ‘’I’m gonna go fetch you a shirt and apron in the backroom and then I’ll teach you the basics of coffee making. I’ll be right back.’’

On your way, you crossed paths with Tyler who was coming out of the backroom with a box of to-go cups and lids to restock behind the counter. His eyes overlooked over your shoulder, recognizing the familiar face in the café and making a displeased face.

‘’Ugh, great. Out of all the Nevermore students, it’s him we’re stuck with.’’

‘’You know him?’’

His reaction gave you the impression that he already had personal issues with the Nevermore student. Perhaps a past fight over a girl. All you knew was that it was more than just school rivalry.

Tyler nodded, but didn’t give out any details. ‘’Make him wear a hairnet, it's unhygienic. We don't want a hair in the coffees we serve.’’

You narrowed your eyes at him. Your hair was longer than Xavier’s and Tyler didn’t have an issue with it. ‘’Your attempt at ridiculing him in your environment is pitiful. Whatever beef there is between you and him, keep it outside of work.’’

‘’There’s nothing between us.’’

You huffed, not believing him. ‘’If you say so.’’

Behind you, the bell jingled again and Tyler used it as an excuse to end your conversation. ‘’There’s customers. I gotta go.’’

‘’You’re just jealous he’s gonna get more tips than you at the end of the day,’’ you said as Tyler walked away.

The brown shirt somehow looked great on Xavier. It matched his hair perfectly. His apron was tied wrong, but it didn’t matter. He’s probably never worn one before.

You both stood at the coffee bar where the espresso machine was. Beside the machine, syrups lined up and white mugs with the café's name on it were lined up, right at hand's reach.

‘’Okay, Xavier. Tell me everything that you know about coffee.’’

As cute as he was, you really hoped Xavier had some kind of knowledge about coffee-making.

Xavier hesitated. He didn’t want to come off as an ignorant idiot, but coffee was not his thing. ‘’People pay a ridiculously high price for something they can make at home?’’

You held in a laugh. He wasn't wrong. Some coffee drinks on the Weathervane menu were over eight dollars. That’s crazy. Who in their sane mind pays that much for coffee?

‘’Can you tell an americano from a macchiato?’’

‘’Do I have to use the espresso machine for those?’’

‘’I'll take that for a no.’’ You grabbed the filter from the machine and the coffee grounds, careful to not spill them this time. ‘’It's not rocket science. Once you know how to make a shot of espresso, you can basically make any drink,’’ you explained. ‘’Take this filter and fill it with grounds. Use the tamper to pack them tight.’’

Xavier took the items from you and did as he was instructed, filling the filter and pressing them down with the tamper. Once it was filled to the brim, he glanced up at you. ‘’What now?’’

‘’You steam the milk.’’

Xavier was a fast learner. Twenty minutes later, he was on his own, making lattes and cappuccinos as if he had been working there for months. His effortless charm worked in his favor with the customers. In two hours, he had made more tips than Tyler usually did in a full day. A girl even gave him her number, but he crumpled the paper and chucked it in the trash. Perhaps he already had a girlfriend?

Soon enough, it was close to 4pm and Outreach Day was almost over. You felt sad to have to say goodbye to Xavier, but his time at Weathervane was only for a day.

‘’My time here is up in ten minutes,’’ he said, bringing the dirty dishes he had collected from the tables after you had just finished with a customer. ‘’Would I be out of line to ask for your number?’’

His question came to you as a surprise.

You never gave your number to customers. You were there to make money and — in a near future — get out of Jericho, not find love. But Xavier was not a customer and he was also not a real employee, which wouldn’t go against company policy.

His green eyes were looking at you, waiting for your answer. You didn’t want today to be the last time you saw him.

You pulled a marker from your apron’s pocket and grabbed Xavier’s arm, scribbling your number on his skin. A piece of paper would have been more favorable, but with your number right on his arm, there’s no way he’ll forget about you.

Xavier looked down at his arm, not expecting you to do this. ‘’Normal people use paper, you know?’’

‘’What’s the fun in that? Besides, you don’t have a way to lose my number…unless you lose your arm.’’

He shook his head and grinned. ‘’I don’t plan on it. It’s my good hand so it would be very unfortunate for me.’’

A loud throat clearing came from the side of the café where Tyler was passing a mop, breaking the moment. ‘’No personal business on working hours.’’

—

Xavier Thorpe taglist: @sofiaadler @partyfly @hoodforcalum @thelilacmourning @ellessecretobsession @su-alteza-emia @achoo---uu @not-leaprvt @xaviersgf @peterparkerdilf @roadworkaheadisurehopeitdoes @dragon-chica @coldtacozinepanda @wrldofsage @eddiemunsonsluvrrr @capriaura @officialsaturn @babyfiva @maevaomizzolo @kelloggs-world @whosljt @ajpanda181 @belovedrey @emerycrt @elizabitchsshit @heaven-hiding @lilithlikestoread @est-liber @moonisu @dessxoxsworld @parker-nite @bellblake121890 @vesperazhier @kaldurahms-lover @beeebo234 @nephilimsss @mayuphoenix @sweetheartlizzie07 @watermelon-18 @snixx2088 @555stargirl555 @robinscardigan @chumchum19 @lilttblog @aphex2winn @heizenka @mystargirl-interlude @hwrtsiren @babygirljay20 @wildflowerlyss @strangersomeone @openfandoms @charlottelaffin @iheartmaddyperez @starless-starkov @ali-r3n​  @poppet05

[pouring-rains]

Wicked games - C.S

part 2

cw; alcohol usage, kissing, club, marijuana usage, use of y/n, 😛

It had been raining all day, and instead of staying inside all night you made a last minute decision to head to the club. Pushing through the pristine glass doors of the club, you headed over to the bar and seated yourself on a stool as you waited for the bartender.

While waiting you surveyed your surroundings, looking around for anyone peaking your interest, your eyes lock onto a brunette haired man sitting at the end of a bar who’s also looking at you, he gives a quick smile while holding his drink up in greeting. Before you can make a gesture back the bartender makes his way over asking you what you’d like to order, you order a rum & coke, while asking for a shot of vodka to soothe your nerves.

As you wait for your drink to be made you feel someone slip onto the stool beside yours, looking over you realize it’s the brunette you were looking at earlier. He gives a smile as the bartender makes his way back over to drop off your drinks. Just as the bartender asks for your method of payment the man tells him he can put your drinks on his tab.

“Thank you” you say, turning your stool to look at him properly.

“No problem” he fires back, “do you mind if I ask your name?” He says, while looking intently at you.

“Not at all, it’s y/n.” You tell him after downing your shot.

“That’s a beautiful name, does it have a meaning?” You laugh slightly at the question, “not that I’m aware of just something my mom chose, I guess?” You reply while tapping your nails against the bar.

“What’s yours, your name I mean?” You ask him. “It’s Chris.” He tells you, as he starts mumbling to the song playing in the background, it’s a song you’ve heard before but you don’t recognize it by name.

Chris gets up from his bar stool while looking you and asks, “I’m going to head outside and smoke, would you like to come with?”

You shake your head yes before knocking back the rest of your drink and putting the glass back on the countertop, you grab his outstretched hand and get up. You both walk towards the doors, once you get there he opens the door for you and ushers you outside. You take a deep breath of fresh air before following Chris over to where he’s standing against the wall. He brings a altoid tin out of his pocket and opens it to reveal a freshly wrapped joint. He grabs an engraved zippo lighter out of his other pocket and lights the end, puffing a few times to make the joint stay lit. He looks toward you, and asks “you want any?” You smile at and nod your head yes in answer.

You reach your hand out to grab the joint from him but instead he pulls his hand back and shakes his head at you.

“Here, I have a better idea.” As he takes a long inhale he grabs your face and pressed his plump lips against yours and blows the smoke into your mouth as you inhale.

You pull back from him as you exhale the smoke out of your lungs, slightly coughing. You look at him again with your pupils blown out in interest, but instead of going back for another hit you grab the back of his neck and pull him towards you. Putting your hands in his hair you pull his wet lips onto yours, he flips you both around to press you against the wall before pressing his lips back to yours.. the joint long forgotten.

OKAY MY SECOND POST IN ONE NIGHT IG?!? lemme know how y’all feel ab this one, and I can maybe do a possible pt2, if you guys want it but you gotta tell me cause I probably won’t do it otherwise!!

[lover-of-mine]

I think the biggest thing that I think about in terms of the likelihood of Buddie going canon is the Eddie queer realization arc of it all. We all can recognize that if Eddie realizes he’s queer, it’s gotta lead toward Buddie - getting them both out of the closet to end up with other people just doesn’t make sense narratively. Keeping that in mind, even putting Buddie aside if they abandon the queer Eddie arc I will be heartbroken because they have tried TWICE to get him out, and the timing just didn’t work out. First because of network, then because of rushed production and the rushed storyline fitting Buck better. If they changed their minds now after knowing what we could’ve had, it would be worse than never knowing that it was planned or thought about. It feels like we keep having near misses and if that happens again it would be a tragedy.

The thing, Eddie being queer means making buddie, no matter the order they do it. Let's go back to possibilities before 704 and Buck being canonically bi. We know that they wanted to make Eddie go first. I don't know if they wanted to make him go first because Marisol was easier to write off than Natalia but then they switched things up because Natalia couldn't come back, and then they ended up not knowing what to do with Marisol because they ended up having to keep Eddie with someone not to trigger buddie, it is part of one of my theories tho. But no matter what you do, if Eddie is confirmed as queer buddie goes canon (please know i consider "going canon" any acknowledgement of feelings, not just a getting together scenario) because where Buck has a thing with men, Eddie has a thing with Buck. You can't realistically make Eddie realize he's into guys and not make him realize he's in love with Buck. So what I think happened is they told Ryan they were getting him out and they brought Tommy in for Eddie and they had a general idea similar to what we actually got with buck to happen with Eddie but then they switched things around because they realize that they didn't want to trigger buddie yet for whatever reason. Because you can't make Eddie come out and not confirm his feelings for Buck and you also can't give Eddie your boyfriend that's not Buck and not have Buck freak out. Buck would not handle Eddie getting a boyfriend well, so if Eddie got a boyfriend you trigger buddie no matter what because they have to push Buck into a feeling realization or else they make they make Buck look homophobic.

So what I think happened was that they reached the conclusion that it was easier to just push Buck out of the closet and work whatever they wanted until they got buddie because I think they realize that they couldn't make buddie happen yet for whatever reason. They made Buck come out so that Buck could get used to the idea that he's into men and then we're going to get Eddie finding out that he's in love with Buck. Getting Christopher out of the picture is the perfect setting to make Eddie realize stuff because Eddie has been father for as long as he's been an adult because Christopher was the teen pregnancy so Eddie never confronted his own feelings so he's going to have to. Personally I think that you have to get him out, if we don't get Eddie out while Christopher is away then what are we doing? But the thing is this we know for a fact that they were trying to figure out how to get Eddie out, if they are trying to figure out how to get him out, and they actually got Buck out, there is no way they're not going there. Like, it would be stupid. Especially because they let Lou tell us that it was supposed to be Eddie and then later Tim confirmed the situation, that means that they don't mind that we know they were exploring ways to make Eddie queer. So they are playing a very dangerous game if they are not planning on making buddie canon because we are threading some very dangerous waters here because they are bordering the line of being queerbaiting, and they're not going to be technically queerbaiting, because Buck is canonically bi. but the use of Ryan in Buck's queer arc and the way they told us that Eddie was supposed to go first, makes it so they have to get them both out. Because the promotion of this is all over the place when you look at it. It's insane that they keep using both of them to promote Buck being bi. Like, it makes no sense if it's not going to end up with both of them out and together. And ABC doesn't mind the queer part of Buck so we have no reason to believe that they would have a problem with the queer part of Eddie the same way Fox had, because we also have Oliver on record saying that fox was the one blocking them. The marketing of season 7 does not make sense if they are not planning on getting them both out. But no matter how they get Eddie out they are making buddie canon because they if Eddie figures out that he's attracted to men. he's instantly going to realize that he's in love with buck. And even in a situation where Eddie goes first it would trigger buddie anyway because we saw Buck lose his shit about Eddie making a guy friend, imagine if Buck saw Eddie with a man, like, on a date with a guy, he would lose it. It wouldn't work so you have to push him into a feeling realization if Eddie gets a boyfriend, so Eddie queer means buddie and for whatever reason they were not ready for buddie yet (maybe they needed more time to play something out, idk?)

Or I am right and they were doing a trial run for the reception of them actually being possible and Buck's a lot more popular and people are a lot more lenient with what they let Buck get away with so if the storyline of Buck being bisexual didn't go well, they could backtrack the situation a lot easier than if they made Eddie queer. And then a lot of things happened in the in between because Tommy was well received and they got an early renewal so they had space to play with it and we ended up with season 7 b being the way it is because it's actually setting up what they want to do with season 8, it was not self-contained anymore because they're not working within the 10 episodes that they thought they had they were working with 28 episodes and things are out of control. Because they mess up the pacing of the season anyway because they tried to make an 18 episode season into 10 episodes and they failed to deliver everything they wanted to deliver, so I think that the main thing is that they didn't have the time to do what they wanted with buddie romantically, so they kept Eddie in the closet (also because Buck being bi was a marketing gold mine, they are probably projecting queer Eddie to have a similar good reception, putting both arcs on the same season when they had another one confirmed and could use queer Eddie to boost their numbers the same way queer Buck did in s7 wouldn't be a very smart play from a business perspective) because they did lay the foundation. Buck is now bi and they made it very clear that Buck is Eddie's partner. The question now is getting Eddie out of the closet and figuring out how to get them there. But that's very easy to do now that they have 18 episodes to play with and that they don't have Christopher so that makes so they have to explore some aspects of their relationship that they haven't explored yet. But again, that's just a theory.

[hwnglx]

Can you do Aespa all personality? Thanks

i focused more on tarot in this post and didn't incorporate as much astrology as usual. but the cards really showed me a lot.

aespa as a person - green + red flags

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

karina aries sun cancer moon

queofp, just, tow+queofc, 6ofp, kingofp&7ofw

+ karina is an incredibly compassionate, nurturing and emotionally mature person. someone who isn't greedy or selfish, neither in a materialistic nor in an emotional manner. she's the type of person who values fairness in everything she does, and will always stand for what is right. karina is the one friend who, if she believes in you, would have your back, even if the entire world was against you. very caring energy. she has this innate ability to take care of the people around her, and make them feel understood and comfortable.

there's also a sense of calmness she can bring to situations of chaos, due to her empathetic nature. while her cancer moon makes her very sensitive to people's needs and makes her easily recognize when someone is in need of assistance or guidance.. her aries sun can give her a very fierce and assertive side as well, someone who will fight for you if necessary. i can definitely sense the balance between her intuitive water moon and passionate fire sun in her personality.

2ofsw, 5ofp, lov+9ofp, death&8ofsw, empr

- as caring as karina is, there can also be a surprisingly cold and detached side to her. she's the type of person who, if you do her wrong or treat her unfairly, will absolutely not hesitate to cut you off very harshly and not really consider your feelings anymore. like she either cares a lot, too much even, or she doesn't give two shts about you. she values herself highly and can very easily, without realizing, drive herself into loneliness, because she puts so much importance into her own independence.

karina is someone who can be so stuck in her ways and stubborn, especially when it comes to her own life, that it holds her back from transforming and developing as a person. even if someone gives her advice, in her mind she's still the one who knows it best, so she won't even consider your words. like a "what do you know about what's good for me? 😐" thing. funnily enough, she herself can be overly smothering to the people she loves. like nag at them, tell them to do things differently because it's better for them.. a bit like a (respectfully! love you mom) annoying mom. you gotta follow her advice, but god forbid you ever tell her what to do.

giselle scorpio sun sagittarius moon

hangm, emper+9ofw, 3ofc, pagofw&pagofp+8ofp, 10ofp

+ giselle has a very calming and laid back quality to her. also very non-judgemental. she's the type of person who isn't extremely stubborn and very accepting, in a way where she's open to other people's views on things, and won't make them feel uncomfortable about just being themselves. there is this very sociable and friendly vibe to her, where you just feel safe and accepted when you're with giselle. she's easy to get along with. she's the person who, if she noticed someone in the group being more reserved and wary of speaking, will ask them if they're alright and encourage them to engage in the conversation more. or the friend who will wait for you to tie your shoelaces while everyone else continues walking.

she can also have this attitude of a humble student, in a way where she's aware of her shortcomings, and things she still needs to work on in order to improve. giselle is also very loyal, thinks a lot about the future of her group. probably one of the members to confidently bring in her opinion on aespa's trajectory and how things should be moving forward.

3ofw, tower, 6ofsw, dev, 9ofc, 10ofp, 10ofsw&knofprx

- giselle's "worse" side can come out once you do something to provoke her. if you manage to fire her up, she's likely to turn into a pretty ego-centric person. like this woman can get angry. i can see this 180° turn surprising people in many ways, since she can switch on you very quickly. i can see her holding onto old grudges and suddenly confronting you about things she never seemed to have cared about before.

there is an impatient quality in her as well, where if she doesn't do well while working on something right away, she'll easily get discouraged and just give up. a little lazy. she will put in effort at first, but stop just too early for her to improve. like working out and having to do 20 reps, but stopping at 18 right before the muscles burn. she isn't someone to put her words into action sometimes. she'll be like "yeah, i know i should practice..", but you still won't catch her actually practicing. i can see a lot of this stemming from her ego being bruised, like she feels kinda silly putting herself in the position of someone who's still lacking. she wants to be at level 10 immediately without going through the gruesome levels before that.

winter capricorn sun pisces moon

queofw, pagofswrx, 5ofw, temp, 4ofw, 8ofp

+ winter is a warm and passionate person, someone who's very truthful and sincere in her actions. she's very frank, not the type to gossip or talk behind your back at all. she values honesty a lot, what you see with winter is what you get. she's a girl who has this very nice balance between being confident and self-assured, knowing what she can do and who she is, while still remaining kind and considerate of the people around her.

although she's aware of her value, she isn't someone who'd rub it in other people's faces. she carries a lot of quiet but powerful confidence inside of her. she's excellent at dealing with challenges and possesses an abundance of inner resiliance. a person who really puts in the work and thrives off competition. she's the type to quietly beat you at your own game by working twice as hard as you. meanwhile, she's a genuine and sweet girl, who can bring a lot of joy into any situation. someone who's very tactful and polite, always making sure she doesn't overstep any boundaries, and treats everyone with the respect they deserve.

fool&star, 4ofc, death+7ofwrx, devil+6ofp, 2ofc

- winter can easily see the world in a pretty delusional way. the fool together with the star is giving this deluded and unrealistic way of thinking, where she sometimes doesn't see things for the way are, but rather for what she wishes they were. always wearing these rose-tinted glasses and struggling to acknowledge the more brutal reality of things. since it can drive her into a state of dissatisfaction, she knowingly choses not to acknowledge certain realities sometimes, in order to escape the negative emotion that would follow. she feels very deeply, and can get a little scared of that.

although she's much stronger than people know, there's also a more naive quality to her, which makes it easy for people to walk all over her without her noticing. she sees the good in people before the bad and seems to be the type to trust more easily, which can make her very vulnerable to getting hurt later on. i can also seeing her sucking up to people for her own gain sometimes, like being extra nice and sweet with more selfish motives. the type to smile extra prettily at teachers in order to get the better grade.

ningning libra sun taurus moon

moon, kingofw, 4ofp, kingofsw&8ofsw, world, knofsw&death&6ofp

+ ningning is someone very self-aware, who knows of her own worth. she's really giving this boss 💅🏻 energy. a person who's introspective and reflects a lot on things, whether that's her own actions or other people's behavior. this gives her a lot of knowledge on how the world works, i can sense a lot of maturity beyond her young age. she's someone who can break barriers by using her intelligence, the type of person who can outsmart anyone. very clever girl with a sharp mind and quick wit. ningning is a woman who's constantly striving to fulfill her own expectations, continuously striving for perfection.

she's always conscious of how she presents herself, what parts of herself she reveals, how much she lets people in. someone who knows how to make the best impression on people, and use that for her own gain. i can see her make an excellent business woman in the future. and despite this very self-assured side of her, she can actually be a total sweetheart too. she isn't the type to get very harsh and merciless with her words, she can surprise you with how nice she actually is once you get to know her. very giving and supportive of the people she loves. i can see her being the friend who puts extra effort into every gift she gives.

2ofsw, knofp, hangm, 7ofw, devil&pagofp, 3ofw

- she's veeery stubborn. absolutely not a person to care about your view on things, her opinion is the only right one. she'll be like "cool that you think that way, but i don't really care." she actively blocks out others. ningning is also a big "my pace" person, where she will only do things in the way she believes it works for her. she will not accept anyone trying to intervene, and will do things according to her own rules.

in additon to that, she isn't someone who will sacrifice her own gain for anyone else's needs, especially financially or career-wise. she's willing to fight tooth and nail for every opportunity she's given, even if that means getting mean and insensitive sometimes. she can get immensely materialistic as well, like she can never get enough and is never truly satisfied. the type of person who could be a millionare but still won't sit back, and constantly hunt for opportunites to make even more money. she's always looking to expand her horizon and doesn't seem to set herself any limits at all, which can make her seem pretty greedy at times.

[obstinaterixatrix]

I recently got my first office job where I am interacting with my coworkers regularly. do you have any evil conversation skills that you think i should learn first

1. Figure out the easiest/most comfortable ways to say the whole spectrum of soft no’s to hard no’s from a scale of ‘genuine regret (invites future attempts if scheduling allows)’ to ‘polite deferral (respectful and evasive, somewhat firm)’ to ‘stone-cold shut down (professional Fuck You)’; you gotta know them all and you gotta be able to deploy them as needed. or at the very least, you gotta know how to give yourself time so you don’t automatically say ‘yes’ when you don’t want to.

2. The easiest way to make a good impression on people is to balance being useful and making others feel useful, which means offering some of the specific knowledge/insight you have and also asking for/acknowledging the knowledge/insight of others. offering/asking can be a weird balance, sometimes for some people in some contexts it comes pretty naturally, other times I find myself parsing out one (1) resource bit by bit to gauge whether someone’s actually looking for it or if it’s received in a lukewarm way. If ‘useful’ can’t really be a selling point at the moment (e.g. starting with zero experience rather than having an established knowledge base in a new environment) then you can always swap out ‘useful’ for ‘interesting’. know a charm point you have that can hook other people’s interest, know how to find and highlight other people’s charm points. If you want a mutual relationship it’s better to make an effort to share equally (for some people that means intentionally holding back, for other people that means intentionally speaking more), but if you’re just trying to coast it’s usually easiest to keep turning the conversation back on them and track topics the other person can get chatty about (pets, kids, shows, how they’re doing, etc).

hang on those are too reasonable and not evil but I’ve typed it all out so I’m not deleting. so, there’s a bunch of worksheets about ‘rules for fighting fair’ and if you ever meet a coworker you fucking hate then you wanna take those rules and do the opposite of all of them in order to have an on-purpose bad faith conversation and to make it as miserable for everyone as possible

1. If the coworker you hate is trying to talk about one specific problem, disagree with whatever their definition is and refuse to compromise

2. Bring in as many stupid tangential asides as possible so their original point gets buried

3. If you want to be legit evil, always imply or directly state that whatever they’re going through is a personal problem and a Skill Issue

4. Always find a way to vaguely disagree with your coworker. If they have a good point, say ‘Well, no, it’s actually like [basically rephrasing their point]’; you can either be subtle about this (negging) or blatant about this (The Mansplainer)

5. There’s a limit to how disrespectful anyone can be as a new employee. Find that limit and keep just short of it.

6. Always deflect and blame someone else, or if there isn’t someone to blame, have different excuses at the ready for anything that anyone might take issue with.

to some, evil communication skills is to win. but I think the most successful (insufferable) application is when the point is to make everyone as miserable as possible. I’m not trapped here with you, You’re Trapped Here With Me. also I wouldn’t actually recommend doing many of these things if you want functional working relationships. but it’s good to keep in mind if you’re ready to go nuclear! but more seriously, I do think these are important evil communication skills to learn because if you recognize someone using them against you, it gives you the chance to make strategies based on their behavior. 1. If someone is disagreeing with you any time you try to express a problem, shut down the conversation and reengage with a mediator that will be fair to you; 2. if stupid tangents keep showing up, it’s up to you to be the terrier with its teeth sunk into the mailman’s leg; etc. anyway this has gone too long and someone else should probably be giving more legit advice

[bananaactivity]

will you make au's for MBAV?

That’s a tricky one…

I’d say I more so have basic head cannons then full rewrites for MBAV. Here are some:

Ethan Morgan: His ancient ancestors who were seers developed as a weird cousin type strain whose powers developed from ancient vampires who could see glimpses of the future but slowly lost some of their vampire characteristics.

But they kept the typically pale skin, and anyone who got the domainate seer gene usually gets more years added on to their life. He can do all that jazz like in the show, and he’s very resilient to mind control or other things that disrupt the brain. ( I like to think If he was more evil he’d influence people more because seers can slightly influence people around them, think about Jasper from Twilight but for thoughts and not emotions… like a Jasper and Edward love child 💀) Ethan’s parents both had the recessive trait and his ancestory that Jessie recognized is from his mother’s side.

Ethan has a massive adoration for almost anyone who he finds to be “better” than him in all the right ways. Mainly Benny and Sarah. Benny because he’s always been by Ethan’s side with a big smile, and Sarah because she’s so sweet to everyone she knows, and becomes his really good friend. He still likes Rory but Rory’s too goofy to fall for that way( and too old) Also Jesse tortured him with the idea that his seer powers are the only thing making his friends like him by accidental influence. He knows that Ethan’s too stupid to realize that if that was the case then he would actually be popular. But Ethan angsts over that all the time. 😥

Benny Weir: Bennys magic is also a genealogical trait. It skipped his dad and went straight to him. But it’s not related to any other subspecies. ( also I don’t think Jane should get the seer trait and wizard trait, mostly because she’s literally awful, and as an oldest sibling the trope of younger sibling is an absolute rude jackass selfish nuisance is one I hate)

Bennys magic is the same as the show nothing more nothing less. But his Evil version is a reflection of something “wrong” inside of him rather then a basic evil opposite. Evil Benny is everything “wrong” with Benny reflected back into the world. He’s willing to do stuff Bennys only thought about in the recesses of his mind too. Like use really bad spells, and also maybe that’s why he’s more flirty with Ethan, maybe I dunno just a thought 🫣 but because of that that leads to EB being more of a presence to Benny. He’s always gotta think about when to pull back or what’s too far so his friends don’t look in the eyes of a remorseless monster. And you know also the whole trope of untapped raw power because you’re too righteous to use it or something.

Benny is an everybody man and a huge flirt. He may be a bit more popular than his other friends because of his charisma but he’s loyal to the weird gang tho, He loves Ethan and Rory and Sarah, in that order, that’s a direct quote from him. That’s because I can’t stand when tv shows cast charismatic and objectively cool people to play what’s supposed to be a loser that doesn’t get girls. No chance that Benny wouldn’t pull girls, it’s Rodrick Heffley all over again…

Rory Keaner: Rory is a massive goof ball and a silly goose. He loves hunting small mammals and prefers to steal blood from hospitals, “where it was just sitting there collecting dust!!” He doesn’t like actually hurting people and would prefer to do fun shit then be scary. I don’t have much to change for him because he’s perfect. EXCEPT THAT HES ALWAYS BEEN A VAMPIRE FOR HIS VERY LONG LIFE. But he’s not a creep like Jessie and just has goober fun with mortals (not in a rude way) He loves Benny and Ethan of course, but he’s kinda stupid cause he didn’t really pay attention to history and stuff. he was just goofin around, so like there’s funny hints to how old he is in like history museums where it’s just Rory in ancient art being goofy asl. Like in the mummy episode there would be a hieroglyphic of a blond man with shades like doing something goofy and Rory would be all like “ yooo what the flip! I remember that!!”

Sarah Fox: also unchanged, she had the most going for her so I think she’s also perfect. She’s got a weird thing for Ethan and Erica and it confuses her. But she’s kinda leaning towards Erica…. I dunnooooo 🫣

Erica Jones: I like how she’s not reallyyy freinds with anyone except Sarah, like that’s her bestie. She and Rory’s thing did not seem reciprocated so imma just say she and him are forced freinds because of the vampire thing and Rory’s like a super old one so she thinks she has to respect him more, but Rory’s literally so chill that they become good friends. She’s jealous of Ethan tho for reasons that should be obvious.

That’s all I have I don’t have as many ideas or references for MBAV like I do descendants. It’s honestly the same for other shows too like mighty med where I love the base show so much I dont really think it needs my brain activity :D 

[nikkistradlinhemmings]

Dream girl// Izzy stradlin Part two <3

-female y/n-

(Part one- https://www.tumblr.com/nikkistradlinhemmings/737898698973069312/dream-girl-izzy-stradlin-smut-part-one )

(Sorry if there are any mistakes, I have not yet properly proofread)

Warnings: P & V sex, losing virginity, oral sex, fingering, submissive, dirty talk, smoking, swearing, alcohol, partying, etc….

Summary: Izzy had a really realistic dream of a fellow famous rockstar daughter. He tried to find her and bumps into her at her house party.

…Despite the sudden realization, there was one question still lingering in the back of his head... did she actually exist? Where did this dream come from? A part of him can't help but be extremely curious about her. The desire to meet her again lingers deeply within him. His mind starts to wonder more and more... could she actually exist? He knows it was just a dream, but something about her felt so real. Her beauty and personality were a unique combination, not something you could find everywhere. This dream made him feel something he hasn't felt in a long time; genuine desire. His curiosity is now at the highest point it's ever been, he feels an overwhelming feeling to actually be with her… to have her in his life.

Just the thought of her being the daughter of a famous rockstar intrigues him. After all, she did carry many of the same characteristics of a famous rockstar herself - her beauty, her personality, her toughness. It's clear that her father's fame had given her a unique mindset. That alone was intriguing to him. But it also made him curious, who exactly is the famous rockstar? Who is her father?

At this point, Izzy's mind is set. He's finally got a hint to the identity of the beautiful, blonde woman in his dream. Her father is a famous rockstar, that is all that matters at this moment. But in order to find out who he is, Izzy has to do some serious research. He starts searching for any hints that could point him in the right direction.

Izzy looks through a bunch of magazines and newspapers he found in his room. After 10 minutes of looking. Izzy freezes as he's reading the article on Steven Tyler's daughter. He looks at a photo of her and immediately recognizes her. His dream wasn't just a dream, he was really looking at images of the real girl he saw in his dream. whose name, y/n, is even one of the most unique names he'd ever heard. So this is who she was?!

“DUDEEE!!!” Slash screams as he rams into Izzy’s room. “you gotta come to this party tonight, at Steven Tyler’s daughters house it’s gonna be sick” slash spoke again being all excited. “Have you met y/n?” Slash talked so fast Izzy couldn’t get a words or a reaction in. Izzy was so dumbfounded when slash mentioned y/n the girl form his dreams, his dream girl… did slash know her?

Izzy's eyes widen in surprise.

"Um, no dude, I haven't met her. But something about her just seems so special, like she's different in a good way. And, I mean, just look at her. Her beauty and her toughness, she's the type of girl you want at your side in a long-term relationship. Have you met her? Do you know her?"

“I’ve met her once, she as on tour the same time we here on, we stayed in the same hotel together, you where sleeping the whole time cos you were drug fucked, but yeah, axl, duff and Steven and I have all met her she is a pretty cool girl to hang with, she is not a hoe like other girls we know, axl tried to hit on her and she slapped him… it was funny…. Well get ready so we can go!!”

Izzy smiles as Slash leaves his room. He couldn't believe what he had just heard, it felt almost too good to be true. If they are going to the party tonight, then he will finally have a chance to meet his dream girl again.

-

-

-

-

It's now later in the night, and Izzy and the guys have finally arrived at the party. As they get out of the car, Izzy is extremely nervous. He's excited to see her again, but now he has to actually make a decision on how he will approach her.

he saw erini walking with Tom keifer, Izzy remembered that every rockstar likes to hit on y/n. He's going to have to find a way to be different than all the other guys in order to make a good impression with her. Izzy can't help but be irritated by how close they seem to be. And now here's his dream girl, just laughing and joking with another celebrity as if it's the most natural thing ever.

He watched as she sat at a table with vixens, and warrant, and poison and bon jovi, Cinderella, Tommy and nikki, ratt, Hanoi rocks. This is really not helping his mood. His dream girl is sitting at a table full of celebrities, almost like she's one of them. It's pretty clear that she's not the type of girl who is impressed by fame or popularity, but that just makes her more appealing to Izzy. He can't help but be jealous of the guys that are surrounding her. He would have loved to be in that circle, it must feel special.

Y/n looks up at Izzy and notices him, she looks at him like she knows him, she told her friend she will be right back and walks up to izzy

Izzy's eyes widen when he sees her come up to him. If it was her that walked up to him, than that meant he stood out more than anyone else that was at the party. That feeling inside him instantly gives him a boost of confidence. He couldn't believe he was actually talking to the girl he was dreaming about just a few hours ago. He felt an overwhelming sense of desire for her, but he could not let that interfere with his judgement.

“You had the dream too?” She asked being face to face with him.

Izzy's mind was suddenly going a million miles a minute. What did she mean, did she have a similar dream as him?!

"You mean, you had a dream about me too?"

“I did We where at a table in the rainbow, I remember we where talking and I pulled you over the table and kisses you”

*Izzy's eyes widened at this point. But he couldn't help but smile at this point

"Y/n, this is crazy. Not only were our dreams were the same, but it's almost like we were meant to meet. I feel this connection with you."

“Wait… Hold that thought Izzy”

Izzy was taken aback by this sudden pause in the conversation. He wasn't sure what she would say next, and was hoping that she wasn't going to break away from this moment.

Y/n grabs him the same way in their dream by the shirt but this time they where Standing so she pulls him down to her hight and kisses him feeling the same passion and desire in the dream.

Izzy's body reacts on pure instinct as she pulls him in to kiss him. He's experiencing the same passionate and intense feeling that he felt in his dreams. Now that he's experiencing this in real life, the feeling is all the more sweet and memorable. This connection was like an unseen force pulling them together, it was such an euphoric feeling.

the kiss got more passionate, y/ns tongue started to explore Izzy’s mouth, she tastes like whisky, like in the dream she said whisky was her favourite drink.

Suddenly y/n breaks the kiss, which makes Izzy nervous.

“I’ve never felt like this before Izzy, wtf, what’s this feeling” A sense of relief washes over Izzy when she asks this question. She really did feel the same way that he did in their dream. This feeling really was real. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt something so intense as this, and now he's starting to realize that he didn't want it to go away.

"I'm not quite sure either. I felt this same connection with you, and I wanted to feel it in real life too. It's as if this feeling is an unseen force, it just pulls us together with such desire."

“Fuck Izzy I feel addicted to you… I’m not joking… fuck it I don’t care”

Izzy felt her fingers wrap around his hair, and that instantly triggered all of his emotions at once. He felt his heart start to pound. He felt the desire, the passion, he felt every emotion he had ever felt for her coming through in this one moment. When she pulled him down for another kiss, his body instantly reacted the same way by leaning in to kiss her back. His hands wrapped around her waist and pulled her close as he let the intense rush of emotions take over his body. They remained locked in the kiss, all of the same feelings from the dream flooding in, except this time it was real. They didn't care who was watching this time, all that mattered was that they were together, having this intense relationship that they both felt was more than just a dream. It was like their physical connections could be felt beyond the mere touch of their bodies, it was as if they could feel the unseen force connecting them both, it was all flowing smoothly through their bodies.

Their kisses began to get more intense, more passionate than before. All that mattered now was the feeling of being with each other. These kisses were more than just passionate, they were like a rush of emotions taking over them. Their bodies were being consumed by the intense heat between them, a heat that was only getting stronger by the second.

“Uhh Izzy? Do you wanna go? Up stairs to my uh room?”

He didn't even need to respond with words, he just smiled and nodded his head in a very enthusiastic yes. This girl was definitely different than all the rest. She didn't want to take things slow. All she wanted to do was to express herself fully with him, no reservations.

As they walk upstairs hand in hand the desire grew bigger and bigger finally making through y/n bedroom door way, he grabs her and pick her up, while closing the door with his foot, then lightly slamming her against the wall.

“Please be my first Izzy” she whispered seductively, He was so tempted but he also felt guilty at the same time. She was a virgin, this was her first time. Was it wrong to just take it for himself? That thought was still there but was slowly starting to become a small thought in the background now. His desire over his guilt was becoming even stronger. His body started leaning in even closer now.

“Izzy I can tell you feel guilty and don’t I know you want it… fuck I want it too, I want you and only you… and I’ll give you head”

Her words sent another wave of desire coursing through Izzy's body. This was really happening, it was finally happening.

She practically jumps out of his arms and pulls him by his shirt to the end of her bed, sitting him down, on the edge, she starts to unzip his pants, he lets out a loud low groan, he throws his head back and she sits on the ground in between his legs and takes out his member, it was that hard and huge it slapped against his stomach, the desire he felt for her was more then ever before, she holds his cock with two hands, licks the tip, slightly teasing him,

“Fuckkk y/nnn, just put ur pretty little mouth around I can’t wait anymore!!” He groans pretty loudly, lucky there was a party going on so on one could hear a thing,

Y/n did so, she lightly and slowly put her mouth around his tip, Izzy’s moans got louder as the seconds go by, his hand goes in her hair, slightly pulling her more down on his cock making her gag and, “ohh fuck y/n” his moans echoed in her bedroom. He pushed her head up and down his cock, every time he hit the back of her throat making her gag, tears began to run down her face from the pain of his huge cock fitting into her mouth, “o-o-oh ur a dirty little slut for me huh?” He couldn’t barely speak from the pleasure that he was feeling from her deep throating him, before Izzy’s moans got even louder he pulled her off his dick, and kissed her mouth, passionately making out with y/n, and taking her clothes off, “I’ll go easy on you at first.. understand my little whore?” He wants her so bad the desire has him in a choke hold, she has him a choke hold, “y-yes”

He flips her on her back, and his hands run along her naked body “oh my dear” he admires her body, his hands stop at her hips and he pulls her more tightly, “have you have anything done to you? Or are you like a proper virgin?”

“I-l’ve never had someone do anything to me besides kissing”

“Oh such a good girl” he said rubbing her clit, she gasped as he teased her with his hands, one rubbing her clit and the other had his index finger teasing her folds.

He puts one finger in her tight virgin pussy, she was already wet, it was easy making virgins wet. “Oh baby we gotta stretch this tight little pussy out before I shove my cock so deep you will be drooling my cum” he said as he started to pump slowly into her hole, they felt like the only people in the world, all that mattered was each other, Izzy didn’t want to hurt her, he wants to first time to be amazing, he feels like he is already being to rough with her but she seems to like it.

He added his middle finger and started to stretch out her pussy, but he didn’t want to go that hard he didn’t want her to cum just yet, her naked body, her reaction to his fingers, they way she throws her head back in pleasure makes him want to do some really naughty things to her,

He slowly removed his fingers and placed him in her mouth and started to finger her mouth, as he lines up his huge dick to her entrance.”are you sure about this?” He asked wanting for her to respond, she nodded and looked at him with beginning eyes as his fingers wheee still in her mouth.

He started to tease her cunt with his tip, slapping it against her clit, teasing her entrance with it, with out warning he slowly pushes it in, they both could feel her walls slowly stretching, tearing her open practically, tears running down her face, he looks up at her and whips her tears away, “it’s okay you will adjust to it very soon” he made it all the way in, she could feel him in her stomach, he gave her a couple of seconds with out moving her to adjust.

he started to thrust deep into her already hitting her g spot instantly, they both moan each others names pretty loudly, he grips her waist pretty tight, well her nails clawed into his back, “f-f-fuck Izzy I’m going to cum!” She practically screams in pleasure…

“Be a good girl and cum for me, can you do that? Cum for me y/n” as he spoke to her with a very dominant tone, her organism came straight away, she was pure euphoric, her and Izzy where the only people on plant earth, all she could think about was him and this moment, her walls tightened around his cock, which made him moan, she came all over Izzy dick.

10 seconds after she came Izzy thrusted one more time and came in her, he was right, she felt like she could taste him, he loved this moment with her, he never wants it to end, he has never came for any girl like this so fast, he want her. She wants him. “Oh shit imma need more plan b” y/n said kinda laughing, Izzy laughed along with her. “But first let’s get you cleaned up okay?” He said in a caring tone, nodded and Izzy helped her to the bathroom, she could barely walk, she ripped her open, he felt bad that he has hurt her like this but happy that he spent this moment with her.

After Izzy helped her clean up, he helped her back into bed and laid down next to her, and wraps his arms around her body and pulls her close,

“I never want to let you go…”

“Then don’t”

[jksnrabbit]

Hi again, (i’m the anon from earlier), sorry if this is annoying or too much but I have more questions about Johnny. Again don’t feel like you have to respond.

What is Johnny doing in season two? Especially with the kiddads betrayal of Nicky.

How well does he know Taylor? Is he around as like a fun uncle or is he absent like Nicky is?

In both season one and two what was his relationships with the other families (both the other dads and kiddads)?

also since you mentioned birdie (henry’s daughter) she is canon as of the “see you again” intro about schmeggan (or however that’s spelled) during the hell arc in season two. Henry comes in and sings a verse about how brad helped him and mercedes name their daughter. Will has also said he gives Henry another daughter every time he’s asked if birdie is real.

thanks again for answering the previous questions.

i love the asks!! this is fleshing out johnny more than ive thought about - ive had this mf for 2 yrs and now i gotta employ Critical Thinking this is nice <3 im so happy he's being recieved well, im tired of seeing my own oc's as 'cringe' i deserve to be free

answers under the cut cause i typed a lot again

1) in season 2, i think he's a member of d.a.d.d.i.e.s up until the betrayal, but at the same time he's actively witnessing jodie's decline as glenn and morgan do their thing, so he spends like 65% of his time picking up jodie's slack as king of hell [which unfortunately, gives jodie more time to try to win morgan back. it doesnt work]. jodie being the world's most failed bisexual leaves a lot of work unfinished for john, who unfortunately is coping through his old man fashion sense of tropical shirts and big jeans. which i hastily drew

he was in hell when nicky was attacked; nicky portal'd to glenn mid-rave, who then brought nicky home and alerted john, morgan, and jodie about the situation. once stablized, nicky told them all what happened - this drives a bit of a wedge between him and john as john doesnt believe they should immediately cut off all contact ['maybe theyve been mind controlled'], especially considering nicky would be leaving behind taylor and cass. john returns to earth to talk to the kiddads himself, and while he does manage civil conversation for a solid minute, he's ambushed as well. he's able to escape fairly quickly [he didnt dismiss 100% of nicky's warnings, he knows the others pack a punch] and once home, he reconciles with nicky, agreeing to cut off contact

2) if not for the betrayal, john would be the kind of uncle that taylor sees like, once every 3 months but when he does he spoils the shit out of him - even more so than he already is. he'd get baby taylor the loudass toys that annoy the hell out of nicky and cass. he'd come back from hell with some kind of enchanted gift that may or may not cause a power outage.

after the betrayal, he cut off contact with earth, including taylor and cass. though he and nicky keep an eye on taylor, in case he ever needs them. every christmas, he drops off a gift in the middle of the night 'from santa'. its mostly just a figurine of whatever anime taylor's been most obsessed with that year. one year, taylor gets a customized enchanted funko pop of himself [because all uncles work at funko. or nintendo. whatever], only enchanted enough that it resembles taylor on a day to day basis, like it's outfit changes with him. cass has zero idea who 'santa' is

3)

post betrayal for all the kiddads, he holds an eternal grudge against them. even after they and nicky truce in order to help the kids with the doodler's anchors, he cant bring himself to agree. he's on par with lark for title of 'skeptical battle ready uncle', but in a hawaiian shirt.

s1 oaks - nervous wreck recognizes nervous wreck. respects henry for having to wrangle lark n sparrow daily [somethin he's had to do now with walter]. he does think hen's too judgemental though. as johnathan, he sees henry as a huge pushover with no control over his kids. he still respects henry for having to deal with them everyday though. that shit's tough

s2 oaks - pre betrayal, he was friends with sparrow more than lark, as the former was mostly trying to find the least violent route for anything. he saw hero and norm like, once in their youth, at a family/friends bbq. meeting norm during the events of s2 he's struggling so hard not to say anything about his hygiene [heightened demon senses are Not helping him] but he's nice enough.

s1 wilsons - he's a little familiar with darryl pre-faerun, as nick frequently hangs out at grant's house, so darryl's a comforting guy to have around. he mostly knows grant as nick's gamer friend. paeden's on the same rank as lark n sparrow's rowdy-ness, he's just glad that the daddies tend to take him on every mission. as johnathan, darryl's the main dad that he respects [aside from jodie] as hes the one that least opposes his dad for being a cop, and mostly just opposes him whenever he's being kinda annoying.

s2 wilsons - pre betrayal, had a lot of comradery with grant about video games and weapons. unfortunately supplied grant with a lot of magical/hell weapons. doesnt forgive himself for that. linc honestly doesnt leave a huge impression on him, but he admires his honesty and heart.

s1 stamplers - neither johnny nor johnathan know what to think of ron. johnny thinks he's strange but harmless, johnathan doesnt know if ron's either clueless or knows something he doesnt. both of them solidly respect terry jr though. thats a stand-up kid right there!

s2 stamplers - probably closest with terry out of all the kiddads. they generally just vibe on the same kind of wavelength, and shared a taste in music, going to concerts before d.a.d.d.i.e.s. to be fully honest, he's a little scared of scary. he's never seen so much wrath in a teen before.

4) in some talking dad episodes, will actually mentions henry originally having a baby daughter named 'henrietta', who wouldve been home with mercedes during the soccer tournament!! and i will never forgive them for scrapping that idea!!

i love the enigma of birdie/henry's multiple daughters though. god i wonder if theyre estranged from lark n sparrow, that's unfortunate :[

[dichromaticdyke]

@plvtosun drew devon because she's a sweetheart and so here's a payback fic 😘

hope i did a good job with blanquita i love her so much i'm halfway through Selenicerus

The girl with blue hair had been sitting at the bar for a while, anxiously scribbling away at her notepad. Devon had been keeping an eye on her, wondering if she’d ever actually order anything. The bar wasn’t busy, it was still early enough in the evening before all that, so they could manage feasibly manage one loiterer up here.

Still— “Look, I don’t mind if you draw up here, but can I at least see some ID first?” they asked, putting their hand on the table, as close to the girl’s sketchpad as they could get without actually touching it.

Her eyes peeked up through her bangs, and she blinked up at them a couple times. “’m twenty-three,” she mumbled, eyes turning down a bit.

“I’m sure you are. I’d like to see that on ID, though.”

She blushed, a ghost of a pout on her face, before sitting up a bit. Devon could get a partial glance of her sketch now, but they tried not to pry. She pulled out her wallet, throwing her ID onto the bar. “There.” She was really turning away from Devon now, as they picked it up to double check the birth date and validity of the card. She tapped her pen against her sketchbook until Devon handed the card back.

“Okay, Blanca,” they said, “can I getcha anything while you’re here at least?”

She pressed her lips together, squirming a bit. “I dunno. Just something fruity.”

They took one look at her stark blue hair and smirked. “I think I got just the thing for ya.”

“Alright. Thanks.” She returned to her sketching, again keeping her head down.

Devon didn’t mind quiet patrons, and sometimes it was easier that way. But she’d recognized Blanca’s name—how could she not when that name had been listed as the artist of Dethklok’s last few album covers? They desperately wanted to pick her brain, to see if she was working on something else for the band, but instead they casually slid her a Blue Hawaiian.

It took her a few moments to realize her drink had been delivered to her. But when she did, she let out a bit of a scoff. “On the nose,” she muttered.

“I can make ya something else—“

“No! No, it’s fine.” She pulled it closer to her sipping from it idly as she drew.

“Well, good.” They watched as her posture straightened a bit, the drawing becoming a bit more visible. It looked like something with horns and sunken eyes, doodles at the corners that seemed to resemble cartoony ghosts. “So it’s comin’ along?”

“Huh?”

“Your piece.” He gestured to the drawing. “Lookin’ alright to my eye.”

She scrambled to pull the sketchpad back towards her. “It’s not ready, don’t be looking at it!”

“Sorry—”

“I’m already not supposed to let too many people outside of Mordhaus see it before it’s ready, okay?” She let out a frustrated huff. “I just…wanted a change of scenery to inspire me, but I think this was a mistake. How much do I owe you?”

“Uh, Blanca—”

“You’re right, I’ll just put it on Toki’s tab.” She slid off the barstool, but not before Devon barked out a laugh.

“Oh. Toki’s tab? Why not all of Dethklok?”

At that comment, Blanca’s face turned redder than her lipstick, and she looked up at Devon while sputtering. “I—! I meant all of Dethklok. Just because I said that baboso’s name doesn’t mean anything.”

“Oh really?” They chuckled again. “You have a pet name for him, and it doesn’t mean anything?”

“What? No! It’s not a pet name. Just stop it, okay? I gotta go, just lemme pay—”

“Yo entiendo, no te preocupes. Es gratís.”

Blanca paused, squinting her eyes at Devon, placing her hand back on the barstool. “¿Habla español?”

“Un poco. Mi primera novia fue puertorriqueña. Pero creo que baboso se dice algo más, ¿no?” They smirked. “I won’t bother ya if you wanna stay, promise. Though I do also have quite a few stories of Toki actin’ a fool while he’s sloppy drunk.”

“I don’t care about that!” Blanca proclaimed as she took her seat back at the bar. “But…thanks.”

“No problem. Just make yourself comfortable—“ As they were making this standard offer, they picked up Blanca’s Blue Hawaiian. They made to hand it to her, not noticing as she picked up her sketchbook to adjust its position. In this shifting of movement, the glass knocked into Blanca’s hand, and Devon lost their grip just momentarily.

Momentarily enough for the blue cocktail to spill all over the sketchbook and Blanca’s lap. “¡Chingao!”

“Fuck— Blanca, I’m so sorry!” they cried as they grabbed their towel, pulling the liquid back towards the bar. They considered grabbing her sketchbook and trying to see if they could get that dried off too, but Blanca was frozen in fury. “Shit. I’ll get you a new sketchbook— I’ll fuckin’, I dunno, I’ll—“

“Wow,” she said, her voice quiet and shaking, but still maintaining a dry level to it. “Well. This is fuckin’ great.” She took in a deep inhale. “What was your name?

She winced. “Devon.”

Blanca slammed her wet, now-ocean-blue sketchbook on the counter. “Devon, I spent a week on that sketch. A week for Dethklok, and that was hell enough, but I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that. I’m sure you never see them when they’re drunk or angry or crazy.” She pressed her shaking hand to her forehead. “But. Fuck, y’know what? I probably would have scrapped that fuckin’ drawing when I was done. Would have thrown away a whole month’s worth of work.”

“Oh. You’re welcome?”

“Oh yeah, because getting the choice taken away from me of whether or not I’d finish it is way better.” She was still angry, still spitting sarcasm at Devon, as she stood up, grabbing cocktail napkins from over the bar to wipe across her wet lap. “I’m gonna need another drink. Or four.”

Devon let out a breathy, nervous chuckle. “Yeah. Yeah, whaddya want?”

“Just a shot of tequila.”

“Just a shot of tequila?” They chucked. “Sure you can handle it?”

“I’ve had tequila shots before.” She let out a small huff. “And I don’t think you wanna piss me off even more right now.”

“Alright, alright. You got a preference, then?”

“Silver Patrón. Straight.”

“Boring, but alright.” They grabbed the bottle, pouring two shots of tequila and sliding one to Blanca. “Enjoy,” he said, pulling his own shot glass back and grabbing a lime wedge and salt shaker.

Blanca stared at Devon curiously. “Should you be drinking on the job?”

“I always share the first tequila shot of the night.” They sprinkled a bit of salt on their hand. “Besides, I happen to know for a fact your baboso and his band are coming in later tonight, they called ahead asking to reserve the dining room. I gotta be ready.”

At that comment, Blanca’s frown turned to an expression that more closely resembled resigned acceptance. “Please don’t say anything about me in front of him,” she mumbled.

“There’s nothin’ to say, hon. Don’t worry.” She tapped her shot glass against Blanca’s before tipping it back. Blanca slammed her own empty shot glass down before Devon finished their shot, and she looked at them with a small smirk. With a laugh, he refilled her glass. “At least ya got good taste in music,” he said, gesturing to her Children of Bodom hoodie.

“I know it.” She hid her own half smile behind her second shot.

[noirandchocolate]

:) If you have the time and would like to, I wondered if you’d share some of your favourite j-pop / anime songs? I think you have excellent taste whenever you share your opinions, so I’d love to listen to your favs.

Oh my gosh! Thank you so much for sending this, I love getting asks and you're so sweet. PS your art is super cute, love your colors! (I'm gonna reblog some as soon as I'm done answering this. <3)

...wait. MEG!??!?!?! i THOUGHT I recognized that art style! OH MY GOD how long have you been following me and I didn't know?? ;___;!! Hello how have you been!? AAAAAAH!

Okay, I will calm down and. Answer the question asked. XD; Anime music! Here's some tracks I really love, in no particular order and also I'm all over the place style-wise.

"Blue" from Cowboy Bebop is one of my all-time favorites. Honestly the whole Cowboy Bebop soundtrack is amazing and lives up to the hype for sure with its jazz/Old West style with spacy and harder and more modern vibes.

"Ashita Kuru Hi" from Kobato. was the next one that popped into my head! This song gets several different versions throughout the anime, because it's a tune the main character sings all the time, different verses for different events. It even gets a Christmassy reprise in one episode! This is the full, basic version of it featuring music box. But this piano-opening version with more sweeping instruments plays over the finale credits... While I'm at it, I WILL plug the entire soundtrack. It is ADORABLE and is nice sweet background music for work and study.

Gotta give a shoutout to Mob Psycho 100's opening themes for sure. They're all so good and seat-dance provoking. "1" is my favorite of them, it's so intense!

"Yuzurenai Negai" from Magic Knight Rayearth is really nostalgic for me, being the theme from one of the first anime I ever bought bootleg fansubs of from a shady man at a monthly comics expo. XD It's definitely a "classic anime" kind of song, with that adventurous shoujo feel.

"Matsuri Uta" from Blue Seed is one I was introduced to without having ever seen the anime it's from and I still like it. It has a slow, quiet start and is just a very pretty piece. (I like to sing along to it, hehe.) Here's another arrangement without the lyrics but with more instruments.

WHILE I'M ON Megumi Hayashibara...I'll also rec "Give a Reason" from Slayers. It's so punchy and upbeat and really inspires a person to get up and GO! You know what? Here's "Get Along" too.

I could recommend any of "Cardcaptor Sakura"'s opening and closing themes, but "Hitorijime" sticks out to me as a funky little track that's just extra fun to listen to. In the same vein is "Groovy!" and the video features a hypnotically bouncing Kero-chan so you can't lose.

I could fill an entire post of its own with Sailor Moon music but instead I will gesture wildly at "Moon Revenge" from the R Movie and yell that it features one of my favorite things in any anime song--vocals by the cast.

SPEAKING OF...here's another one of my ultimate favorite anime songs of all time, "Yamerarenai Yamerarenai" from Tenchi Muyô! The entire main voice cast going absolutely ham in character singing about all the little pleasures in life. Absolutely delightful!

Okay last one for this post because this is probably way way too long as it is. "Party Night" from Di Gi Charat! Specifically the Hyper Parapara version. I love this shit so much. This is the music video version because I can't resist, but here's the full song.

Okay! I'm outta here! Thank you again for asking, it was fun to follow my stream of consciousness and just post whatever fun thing popped to mind next. XD

[transingthoseformers]

I am having so many ideas for how this AU spirals into a larger one, but back to, a bit, Trepan, our "poor" Protagonist.

Trepan also recognizes Rung regularly and instantly. They are both much older, and Trepan remembers him vaguely from his co-worker Froid, having previously mentioned him occasionally. Heat first, he thinks he has an ally before Rung firmly contradicts him. Rung however went toe-to-toe with the Functionalist Council for literally generations and if Trepan thought Ratchet, who was still in his Prime, was annoying then the one ornamental who survived that hell while more mildly mannered is a far different creature. Especially when he keeps seeing through Trepan and is able to see what is going on.

Trepan is even tenser about Rung seeing through him because he does NOT want to come under review and is determined to be fine even when he isn't. His and Ratchet's habits are mixing, and it is getting worse. He spends a lot of his time off getting caught up on reading medical journals and reviewing techniques, a habit they had in common, but doesn't even realize he's been reading and understanding an article on virology or how out of character it is until a Pharma visits.

The official story is Trepan was attacked by a patient and us on forced recovery time.

He is checking up on his friend who is on forced vacation, lights up slightly, and gets excited or as excited as the morose jet has been lately. He had been wanting to read it himself and said he thought Antigen's discussion about the infection patterns was interesting and Trepan automatically counters it failed to take into account disease lingering in lower levels and places like the Dead End due to lack of equal treatment and if they really wanted to propose an effective counter, free and readily available virus screenings and treatments for ALL including casteless was needed.

Trepan begins to passionately argue for free and compassionate health practices, and Pharma looks ready to cry because he's both happy with his friend/semi-mentor, and he having more overlapping interests, and it reminds him of Ratchet. He mentions he's sad Ratchet never gave Trepan a chance because it turns out they had more in common than expected and apologizes for being weepy. Pharma leaves, not realizing he's thoroughly terrified Trepan who is reeling at what "he" said and throws the datapad away from him like he was scalded.

Trepan proceeds to go get drunk and try to pick someone up as a distraction only to balk because he can't remember if he is operating under his or Ratchet's preferences which is a very, very bad sign.

Trepan realizes his work may have had a point and spends the time reorganizing his mind and using an at home computer as a buffer to try and partition off the data ghost and rebuild his defenses. He can see where the contamination has started and blended and surgically goes through each and every memory file but only manages about 60%.

He knows safety standards mean he should request an extension, but he is feeling enough like himself to want to go back to work. It helps at first with him using his breaks to continue recovery, though he is still regulated to light work and teaching for the most part.

By the time he is given his newest personal assignment, he is up to 85% and fully confident and only occasionally slipping.

He thinks he is ready.

Oooo on Trepan remembering Rung too, and it's because of Froid.

Trepan: wait I can use him!

Rung: think a–fucking–gain bitch

Rung's got many opinions on Trepan, especially considering how Rung basically adopted Pharma too. Rung's been around long enough to see Trepan for the Senate's hound he is.

And for the intriguing behavioral changes which have gotta fascinate Rung at some level

Ooo on Trepan engaging in virology research

For once, Trepan is right and we know why. In order to truly stifle a disease, you've gotta treat it at every possible point even in people you don't like. But also free and easily accessible healthcare. And advocating for more ethical practices in the cybertronian medical system. Yeppp, that's Ratchet bits alright. oh Pharma. you truly miss him.

Trepan has Opinions™️ on what just happened, and he's afraid to hit on anyone in the case he's gotten (in his opinion) Ratchet's bad taste in mecha too.

Look I know Cybertronian computers are probably more advanced but I imagined one of those old 2004 clunky monitors and the world's most plain desk, which is moderately hilarious.

MN yes of course he wants to get back to work, you're not fully you but work is more important than that I suppose.

He thinks he is ready

Is he?

[jdtrashman]

Countdown To Dawntrail Week 1: Scions

(my second entry into @voidsentprinces' Countdown To Dawntrail prompt series)

M'itnu Carnagie had been sitting in this diner for hours, and the staff were beginning to get suspicious. She was on her fourth cup of coffee, the caffeine not helping her nerves in the slightest. Just as a waitress was about to make her way over to her table - most likely to demand that she leave - she was stopped by a newcomer. A blonde Highlander woman in a mask, who ordered herself some coffee before sitting down across from M'itnu.

"Hi there," the woman said in a voice so saccharinely chipper, M'itnu half-expected birds to flutter out from behind her. "My name is Yda, I'm so happy you could make it!"

"I got here like two hours before you," M'itnu replied.

"Yeah well, it's not my fault! I saw this adorable puppy on the way."

"And that took two hours???"

"You obviously are not getting how cute this dog was, I had to appreciate it."

M'itnu rubbed her temples before going to stand. "Look, I gotta get to the guild-"

Yda stopped her with a hand on hers. "Woah, sorry sorry, please sit. I promise this won't take long." M'itnu let out an exasperated sigh before sitting back down. "Now then, do you still have the letter we sent you?"

M'itnu pulled the letter out from her pocket and handed it to Yda. The letter had arrived in her mail last night, with no return address, and the only clue as to the sender's identity being a pair of initials on the back of the envelope: M. W. The letter told her of a new job opportunity, as well as an explanation for the strange visions that had been plaguing her since before she came to Eorzea. The latter was what brought her to this table, and what kept her dealing with this masked weirdo. "What do you want from me?" she asked.

"Exactly what the letter says we want," Yda replied. "We want to give you a job, and on top of our generous payment, we also can help you understand what's been going on with you lately."

"Uh huh," M'itnu replied with narrowed eyes. "And the catch?"

"No catch!" Yda responded. "It's simple merc work, no different than what you've been doing."

M'itnu scanned the woman's face for any sign of deception. A tactic one learns when working in Ul'Dah as an Ala Mhigan. This city was obsessed with fucking over her people in any and every way it could. However, the mask made doing this hard. She couldn't even see what color her eyes were, let alone if those eyes were holding deceit behind them.

Suddenly, the door opened, and a bunch of drunken brass blades came in. M'itnu, unfortunately, recognized one of them. Even more unfortunate, the recognition was mutual. "Hey...hey I know you!" he shouted in a slurred, uneven voice. "Yeah, you tha' fuckin gladiata bint. Cost me half my, halvva, half my - whatsit, paycheck! Yeah! Cost me halfa my paycheck wit that fight a'yours!"

M'itnu didn't respond, just went back to her coffee. In this town, it never paid to be a tough girl when you were Ala Mhigan. "I'm sorry," said Yda, unfazed by the man, even as he put his hands on the table. "I'm currently talking to miss Carnagie, could you come back later?" she flashed him the sweetest smile she could. He didn't think much of it.

"I think you, I think you had best get on, ma'am. I got some words for lil miss tough bitch here." his friends gathered behind him to back up the threat.

"Look, I'll call you later," said M'itnu. "Just get going."

Yda thought it over for a moment before shrugging. "Alright. If you're sure." With that, Yda brushed off her shorts and got up to leave, the men parting for her.

But just as she was about to reach the door. "Yeah go on, ya Ala Mhigan bitch." Yda stopped. "yeah, you think the lighter skin and the pretty blonde hair takes the stink offa ya? Now go on, 'fore we change our minds."

M'Itnu watched Yda through the crowd of Brass Blades. In a moment, everything about her demeanor changed. And Yda locked the doors. "Actually, I think I will be staying. I've had an awful week, and I need...an outlet." the voice. It was different, if ever so slightly. The cadence rougher, the voice lower. Like Yda had gone away, and someone else had come out. She turned as the Brass Blades drunkenly sauntered over to her. "So, are we going to stand around, or are we doing this?"

There were six of them, and one of her. But just looking at her posture, M'itnu knew that she was not the one trapped in a room with them. They were trapped with her. The first man swung his armored fist at her face. A sickening crunch, followed by a shriek of horror, as the gauntlet crumpled like a soup can against her cheek, crushing the fist inside to a dripping, disgusting mess of bones, blood and pain. Yda remained unmoved. "My turn yet?" she asked. The second man came at the back of her neck with his sword. She ducked her head at the last moment, sending the sword instead into the arm of a third man. Yda swung her head back up, caving in the nose of the second man. As he fell back, she tore his sword out of the third man's arm, and stabbed it clean through the first man's leg, pinning him where he was as he screamed anew.

Yda pulled a pair of steel knuckles from her pockets and swung, unhinging the jaw of the third man. Thrusting back her elbow, she took the wind out of the fourth man's sails. She then used the momentum to swing her foot into the liver of the fifth man, nimbly dodging the sixth man's swing in the process.

As the fifth man crumpled in pain, Yda knocked the sword out of number six's hands and, using a series of precise strikes, sent him falling over paralyzed.

Number five looked up at Yda as the pain began to subside. Yda glared at him through her mask and growled, "koşmak." The Ala Mhigan word for run. He did just that, throwing himself through the window to run screaming down the street.

Yda sat back down across from the slack jawed M'itnu, placing her bloody knuckle dusters on the table. "Man I needed that!" She exclaimed. She then turned to the waitress and promised to pay for any damages.

Joining up with this girl might be a bad idea, it occurred to M'itnu. It may bring...unwanted attention onto herself. But after a display like that?

"I'm in."

[allblackeverything888]

🌞♋🌔♐

dear diary,

okay im doing these daily entries partially to get reaquainted with myself as a person. yesterday i started taking cloud notes on my esoteric capricorn essay, which i may break down into multiple parts, im not sure. i was listening to Tool most of the day, and the song “Opiate” really solidified this realization within me that i’m developing an obsession with good v evil/god v satan/power & control.

capricorn is associated w the Devil card in the tarot, and in doing preliminary studies of that card, i find myself drawn to the Thoth deck’s interpretations of that card. the generic descriptions of the devil from the perspective of the standard rider waite smith tarot card is just missing the whole point for me. it paints the devil as a very one note figure, who we must ultimately reject, contain, or restrain so as not to fall into the various addictions and lustful obsessions that plague the material world, which the devil is said to rule.

i have a lot of thoughts on this that i can’t seem to sort right now; my research is just beginning, but i can tell that this will be a lifelong obsession for me. im just getting started. this first essay is going to focus on why capricorn is associated with The Devil card specifically, and im going to tie those two archetypes together using underground memphis rap.

turns out the kids are (re)discovering old school memphis rap tapes &i keep getting recommended these great mixes made by random youtube channels. i started listening and recognized Saturnian/Capricorn/Devilish themes running HEAVY through the music. what a perfect synchronicity for me; i immediately began unpacking the ethos and cosmology of memphis rap in order to incorporate it into my essay. it’s fucking perfect.

very on the nose motifs show up repeatedly that make it impossible for me to not make connections between saturn (the ruler of capricorn), esoteric capricorn, and the devil card: sooooooo many of these southern rappers in the early 90s were rapping about the devil, how they got up to no good and they felt like the devil was in control of them, and that the darkness of their lives was because of the devil’s presence. it’s truly profound given how religious and old school the south can be, culturally, it makes complete sense that with so much God embedded into the fabric of your life, his counterpart the devil would also be top of mind.

as for capricorn, the songs frequently represent capricornian ideals: making money, hustle and grinding daily, focus on coming up any way you can in order to get ahead in life, stacking cash, etc. these are all capricorn themes that we often only hear about in terms of “oh capricorn is the CEO, the banker, etc.” but like, capricorn is the gangster as well. the mafia boss. what’s a gangster but a CEO of a criminal organization?

with saturn ruling capricorn, saturnian themes are HEAVY within 90s memphis rap as well, with much the devilish workings being tied to the reality of living a very harsh life. there’s this sense that life isn’t going to give them anything easy, so they’ve gotta ruthlessly take it for themselves, and accept that life is hard. there’s a sense of twisted responsibility—to survive any way you can. it’s very real and raw, and very saturnian. saturn’s the planet of serious discipline, building things over a long period of time thru very hard work that isn’t very rewarding initially. it’s about developing a tough exterior in order to face the difficult reality of life. because truly, getting to the TOP, where capricorn sits, the mountain goat overlooking the vast expanse of earth, well, it’s not an easy climb and it’s not for the faint of heart. you have to become hard in order to survive.

so many of these songs are really rough, lyrically. talking really bluntly about rape, murder, pimping, jail time, fighting to survive and living in a perpetually dark headspace. the only reprieve only ever seems to come thru creating the music itself, as well as a whole lotta weed. this ties us back into the Devil. it comes full circle. the rappers aren’t shy about their vices: hoes, money, drugs. it’s this endless pursuit of the material trappings of life that both bring them down &allow them to survive a rough life that would make others crumble under pressure. capricorn isn’t the GOAT for nothing.

[ruminate88]

Being Triggered? Healing Journal 07/03/24

I never even understood the meaning of the word “triggered” truly until I’ve been learning about emotional abuse. You nonchalantly hear stuff as a kid, no matter if it was from family members, school or tv. You hear things but you don’t always understand it unless you yourself experience it.

It’s always the ones closest to you, that hurt you. Remember that! My last two relationships were manipulative and gaslighting but I had no idea till years later and it’s impacted me in ways I never dreamt it would! Mostly impacting my marriage now.

Since knowing what gaslighting is now, I feel like I recognize it more but fear of being lied to or taken advantage of again in my relationships with people! I subconsciously compare my marriage to my exes and easily get stressed out or worried. I always have to talk myself off the ledge…. I’m always frustrated thinking can I trust my husband, when he seems so nice and hard working? My ex Andrew seemed mostly nice to me but I didn’t realize he was actually putting me down because of the fog I was in with him. I would never manipulate to get my way so I didn’t recognize it back then at all!!

YESTERDAY, was a bad trigger but I quickly got over it: Going back days earlier, I had a conversation with my husband about my mom and nephew’s bday party today. I say if he doesn’t want what my mom is cooking, he can maybe order a couple pizzas because my dad also doesn’t like what my mom is cooking. (My mom has cooked this meal before and both my dad and husband ordered pizza more than once) My husband has been on a diet but says maybe for one day he could cheat and have a pizza…. Didn’t say he was for sure ordering it, just that he could if he wanted to. I then ask my dad if he would like pizza with my husband. My dad says yes but to let him pay for it!!

NOW, yesterday I say to my husband, “my dad also wants pizza with you but wants to pay for it.” My husband then says, “I never said I was bringing pizza…..” 🥸🥸🥸 Right away my mind goes to “is he gaslighting me ????” I know he didn’t say yes he’s for sure getting pizza but said he could cheat on his diet and acted like he did want pizza. I am NOT CRAZY! Deeper than that, my husband has never loved this particular meal my mom makes and neither does my dad. Yet, my husband says yesterday, “I never said I didn’t like that meal. It’s not my favorite but I’ll eat it.” WHAT?!!! 🤨 y’all always get pizza cuz you don’t like this meal. He has ate this meal before but I KNOW he doesn’t care for it.,.

So I’m racing in my head, overthinking, over analyzing, telling myself I am not crazy and why is my husband acting like that…. However, we continued to have a pleasant evening and I kept saying to myself, “Stop comparing him to Andrew. Your husband isn’t trying to gaslight you or manipulate you” 🫠 Feels like every moment in my marriage is a stressful one and a struggle. I’m always on my guard, ready to defend myself and fight!!!

When does this get better??? ❤️‍🩹 When do I stop over thinking every conversation or every mood with my husband. Last night and this morning my husband seemed a tad moody and I believe it’s becuase of social anxiety and knowing he’s gotta go to this bday party today but what if I’m wrong? Either way, I was feeling defensive AND telling myself, “You gotta enjoy yourself despite his moods and if he doesn’t love you, let him move on” BUT my husband does love me…. Why do I question him at every turn????? It’s exhausting and I feel I can’t enjoy myself!! I feel like I’m all alone because my past two relationships were one-sided. Many Friday nights I sat on my phone crying over Andrew because I know he’s at the frat house partying with sorority girls AND he wouldn’t Snapchat me till 3am and send me a selfie of himself saying “hey ….” And it was always by himself too. Never looked like anyone else was at this party BUT yet on Facebook, he’s posting pictures of himself with all these girls at the party and it’s almost like he was doing it to make me jealous!!!

Once I calmed down yesterday and didn’t blow steam, I was able to have a good evening with my husband AND I downloaded Pokémon go just so I can stop questioning him when he leaves to go play and he was totally ok with me joining him and even helped me get going on the game. My husband is NOT my enemy. Andrew was. Andrew was the one low key putting me down and making me feel “crazy” but then why sometimes situations arise in my marriage where I am transported back to that feeling of “crazy”??? I KNOW if I don’t trust my husband, our relationship can’t thrive. I trusted him when I married him because I had sex with him and moved in with him…. Yet over time, I lost trust and once I learned about “emotional abuse”, wow…. It’s like I really closed off from the world. I felt so unsafe and troubled that the whole time andrew was deceiving me.

I mean, I knew Andrew lied to me and things were confusing with him but couldn’t explain it or name what was happening. I tried to love Andrew so hard and be a good girlfriend to him but I always felt like I wasn’t pretty enough, smart enough or adventurous enough!!! I saw his ex girlfriends on his old IG post and uggggh I compared myself to them and questioned why in the world Andrew was paying me any attention at all 😭😭😭

Now I feel awful when people do nice things for me and buy me stuff randomly. I feel so bad asking for anything or asking for help. I feel I have to do everything on my own and that I can’t go to anyone to talk about Andrew because what if they don’t understand or what if the make me feel bad for loving him?? Was it so bad to love Andrew as much and as long as I have???

Does ruminating about Andrew make me a bad woman and wife?? 😓😓😓