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chifuyuzu · 3 years

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leap of faith — sano manjiro x reader.

word count — 1.3k.

genre — fluff fluff fluff, i love sweet mikey.

contains — cursing, timeskip SPOILERS present, reader is gender neutral.

description — sano manjiro is in love with you, and he realizes how much he loves you at the ass crack of fuckin' dawn.

author's note — hey besties, this is my first published fic here, kinda short but mikey brain rot is heavy. i hope you enjoy this cute fic before i rip your hearts out with some angst in a few days :^) reblogs and likes are always appreciated! and please give me feedback in my inbox! hehe, enjoy.

“it’s late.”

you know. but you still wanted to hear the sound of his voice before bed.

“mm… i missed ya’, is that a crime?” your voice echos through the receiver, the sound of your duvet crinkling in the background as you shift in place. sano manjiro was a busy man. always has been, always will be. being the leader of a biker gang was never easy—let alone some “new age” criminal organization.

you didn’t understand why manjiro persisted to play this game of russian roulette with his life. but it was never your place to overstep, especially since this was his life. it was all he knew, all he understood. you’re not sure what he’s doing, or if he’s even allowed to talk on the phone at this hour, but you still wanted to hear him. just so you know he’s alive and well.

you hear him chuckle, the sound of his feet scurrying against whatever floor his sandals were clacking against. the background noise that accompanied him earlier has dissipated; you realized he probably went outside to hear you better.

“your crime is loving a fool like me way too much. don’t think you’re sane.” he’s right. you’re actually crazy for even pursuing him. there was a lot of push and shove in the beginning, both parties scared of being hurt and getting hurt. but you were always there, even when manjiro went through whatever darkness was eating at his soul.

“crazy for you.”

“corny.”

“you love me.”

a pause. eerie enough to send shivers down your spine. why wasn’t he responding? did something happen? did you smother him too much? is he regretting—

“marry me.”

… not what you were expecting. especially not over the phone.

“sano manjiro, did you just propose over the phone? what kind of shitty rom-com are we in?”

“is that a no?”

“... never said that.” you wanted to marry him. but you wanted him to put that lifestyle behind, for the sake of the family you might have in the future. kids, dogs, cats, etcetera. you wanted him to be in, one hundred percent. but you knew he was too deep into this world to run now—especially since he’s so well-known as the ‘invincible mikey.’ you still longed for a happy home with manjiro, and a normal life.

“maybe you’re right. it’s not my style to ask you this over the phone.”

“try again later. when you’re really ready.”

the gag is, he is ready.

manjiro hurries home, blond locks hidden underneath a thin, black hoodie. he’s shaking, like a pomeranian in the presence of fireworks. his hand meets the left side of his chest, back pressed up against the grey colored wall of your shared apartment as he slides down to sit on the floor. it was four in the morning, and manjiro was about to shit himself.

he gulps, eyes peering around for you, double checking that you were fast asleep before he makes a phone call. his fingers tapped the back of his iphone, impatiently waiting for the other caller to answer. though it was the crack of dawn, he still needed some moral support.

“mikey? fuck you callin’ for at this hour? haven’t heard from you in mo—”

“ken-chin. i’m proposing.”

a loud ‘flop’ rang through the receiver, accompanied by the bedsheets seemingly slipping underneath draken’s feet. it was a huge bomb to drop, especially when the duo has been separated for months on end. manjiro hears more shuffling, followed by a few curses. “you’re fucking lying. the one you’ve been one since—?”

“yeah. i’m crazy as hell. but i love them. head over heels. i’m a goddamn simp.”

“why the hell am i the first to know, man?”

“you’re m’best friend, even if i need to stay away from you. and, also… you’re not the first to know. i asked them already.”

“you WHAT? don’t fuckin’ tell me you did it some dumb way like over the pho— you did. you’re impulsive enough to do it like that, too.” regardless of how long it’s been, draken still knows and understands manjiro like nothing ever happened.

“yeah… not romantic. but i can’t see myself with anyone else. i trust no one else. but i… am…”

“scared? man, you’re the head of a criminal organization. ‘course you’re scared. you don’t want the love of your life… to get hurt…” his voice trails off and manjiro’s heart tenses even more. the memories of the past still felt fresh. all the people they lost in tokyo manji… could never be replaced. not in a million years.

but the living must live.

“i love y/n. never felt like this before. i’d quit everything. but i would have to make sure they’re safe and whatever future we have together is secure. i know i promised takemichi that i’d protect everyone and that future he worked so hard to save… but what about mine?”

manjiro really did sacrifice everything for his friends. being the type of person who carries everyone else’s burdens takes a toll on his mental. he felt selfish for wanting to leave it all behind. but maybe being selfish was beneficial once in a while.

“listen—”

“do you think i’m stupid?”

“mikey. you’re not stupid,” draken sighs, shuffling again in place. “you just want to love someone and be loved in return. nothin’ stupid about that. what is stupid though, is you proposing over the damn phone.”

he’s not wrong. it was a spur of the moment decision that could drastically change his life forever. but with you, he doesn’t care. as long as you’re his, forever.

“how do you think i should do it?”

“well. i guess, tell me some sappy shit. how do you feel about them, and whatnot.”

“i don’t think i could ever imagine me with anyone else. a lot of people have tried to grab my attention but i only have eyes for y/n. sometimes when shit gets real hard…” manjiro takes a deep sigh, fingers threading through his hair, tilting back the hood to let it fall onto his back. “i think of y/n and i remember that even in this shit world, someone is here for me. someone cares about me. they make me feel like i’m not alone anymore.

i have dreams ‘bout us, y’know? me and y/n… kids running around. a little mikey clone. pissin’ them off because we want little flags on our meals. going to the park and letting kids be kids. maybe i’ll teach ‘em at a dojo like gramps did for me and my siblings. maybe i’ll teach ‘em about bikes—with your help, of course.”

draken laughs, letting his friend continue his little speech as he gets comfortable in bed again. don’t think i’ve ever seen mikey like this, ever, draken muses.

“man, we can own a whole zoo if we wanted. chifuyu could hook us up, in secret, of course. still have to protect everyone,” manjiro is grinning from ear to ear, head resting against the wall. “i wanna grow old with them. honestly, i didn’t think i’d make it to my twenties. more so, i didn’t want to live past twenty-something. but now… things are different. wanna be old and gray. see grandkids terrorize our children. die together.”

the tension in manjiro’s chest has faded away, only left with warmth that only you could bring him. his free hand reaches into his pocket to fumble with a small box, snapping it open to reveal the engagement ring his grandfather handed down to him.

he wasn’t the marrying type. but for you, he was.

“that all? you sound good like that, man. make an exception and let us come to the wedding.”

manjiro wants that more than anything. his friends, you... all safe. all happy. but again, the fear creeps up. he doesn’t know what to do with himself if any of you get hurt.

“... how do i tell y/n that?”

“you already have.” your voice makes him jump, knocking the velvet box out of his fingers and onto the hardwood floor. his face pales, followed by a huge lump forming at his throat when he sees your figure emerge from your shared bedroom.

“i-uh… i thought you were a-asleep.” manjiro mumbles, earning a huge laugh from draken on the other side. he hears him say something along the lines of ‘my cue to leave. good luck. send me an invite.’

“i was waiting for you.”

he’s sweating now, a small bead forming at the base of his neck. his phone is now at his side, the screen flashing from draken’s caller id to the lockscreen photo of you on your first date together, a few years back. your eyes zone into the box, though.

“i was going to do this… better. god, i fucked up, huh?”

you’re laughing now, rubbing your tired eyes before you join him near the wall, picking up the box. “what makes you think that, dummy?”

now he’s confused. you wanted him to ask when he was serious, but in his head, serious meant rose petals, candles, someone singing celine dion in the distance.

without a word, you slip the ring onto its appropriate finger, holding up to the small rays of sunlight that peaked through the window from the approaching sunrise. manjiro’s hands fly up to your face, holding his whole world in his hands. his eyes are shiny, on the brink of tears. you nudge your noses together, foreheads connecting tenderly. your hands hooked onto the hem of his hoodie, bringing his frame closer as you whisper a soft ‘yes.’

“yes?”

“yes, i’ll marry you.”

manjiro’s lips curl up into the silliest grin you’ve ever seen him sport, before he presses a soft kiss to your lips. now he’s kissing you quite desperately. as if he’s trying to make sure you’re real, that this isn’t a dream. you feel his words vibrate against your lips, “gonna make you so happy, i promise. i love you. i love you so, so much.”

“forevermore.”

“forever yours.”

#tokyo revengers x reader #mikey x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers imagines #mikey imagines #🌧 — cloudwrites.#bro i love mikey sm please

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

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Real Friends

Valkyrae & Reader (Male)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: SMAU, Platonic fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Following an accidental and not very consensual face reveal, Y/N’s dealing the sudden shift of the spotlight on him even more than it was before. Being the big deal he is on social media, the internet has every right to be freaking out. Luckily, he’s got a friend to help him cope with it all.

Requested by @iawaythrown Hii! Thank you so much for your request! I’m so sorry for how long it has taken me to complete your request and post it but here it finally is. I’ve never written a SMAU before so this isn’t the classic SMAU format but I still hope you’ll enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤

Imagine you end a toxic relationship of almost a year and go to bed feeling like a ton of bricks has been lifted off you, like you can finally breathe properly and like you’re finally getting a taste of freedom. The very freedom you chose to lose by getting in the toxic relationship in the first place. Of course, I didn’t know it was toxic at the time, probably cause it wasn’t, but it gradually turned into a nightmare.

A nightmare that keeps haunting me even after I thought I had put an end to it.

Apparently, that was wishful thinking cause I woke up this morning to find an unbelievable number of notifications and messages from friends, family and my manager and associates. Being in the music industry as a faceless creator, I keep my circle tight and it only consists of people I can trust so to see them all freaking out at me at once, even the most level-headed ones, freaked me out too. Quickly, I opened the first notification I reflexively tapped on and it opened a post in which someone had tagged me.

A picture taken of me while I was asleep, no doubt one taken by my ex. That being said, I think we can all have a guess at who posted it in the first place. I didn’t listen to my manager when he told me to not allow anyone I trust 1000% into my inner circle. I was foolish and at the peak of my career, feeling on top of the world and feeling invincible which was rare for me. I’ve always been insecure about many things in my life, growing up with a lot of judgy people made me be that way. Not to mention that I didn’t want to be the victim of the internet’s racism either. People turn a blind eye most of the time, but it’s still there, it still exists and looms over all social media platforms, disturbing people’s peace left and right. You see, I didn’t want people to have an opinion of my art based on my appearance or associations with other creators. I’m pretty good friends with many content creators, especially in the gaming industry, but I’ve never wanted to be put in a box as one of the many friends of someone famous. I made a name for myself without anyone knowing who I am exactly.

And now they all know because of this photo that my ex sent to float down the rivers of hungry social media:

Damn am I gonna get an earful from my manager or what. It’s still rater early though and I’m really not about to deal with this drama on a caffeine-free brain so if there are any calls, emails or messages that need answering - and yes, there are PLENTY of them - they’ll all have to wait until I feel like dealing with them. I’m glad I don’t have to keep up this unbothered charade at home since I live alone cause I seriously don’t feel ok with this. I mean, I could probably report it, but what use would that be when my brand now has a face and a huge chunk of my privacy has already surfaced against my will.

As I sit in my kitchen, sipping my coffee, I finally gather the nerve to at least scroll through the notifications that I’ve received. Fans reaching out, relatives, friends, pissed off people that are there just to exist and try to disturb my peaceful existence but all they’re gonna get is a hard DELETE from me. I have offers on top of offers for modeling pending, waiting on my response. I’ve never considered it, being a faceless creator and all, but my manager will definitely want to milk some cash from this too. That thought makes me sigh in defeat. I have no one to blame but myself for trusting my ex. No one made me do it, no one made me let them in, but I still did, fucking myself over insanely. Just like they’ve now fucked me over.

Amongst the sea of notifications and yet to be opened messages, one in particular stands out and makes me do a double take. It’s a message from my friend Rae - Valkyrae, as she’s known online. She’s one of those gamer friends I mentioned earlier, probably the one I’m closest with. Her and I talk on the regular so seeing a message from her in my inbox is nothing unusual so I wonder why that was the one that stuck out to me. Regardless, that’s the only one I feel like opening and replying to at the moment.

V ~ Hey Y/N, you doing ok? This all must be really hard on you so don’t feel obligated to reply. Do so when you can or want to. I’m here if you wanna talk

Of course Rae would be the one to know how I truly feel in a situation like this. I can act and cover up all I want but she knows exactly what’s underneath the surface of my façade. That third eye friends have for each other, it’s incredible.

Me ~ Doing ok. Wasn’t expecting to wake up to this but now that millions of people know what I look like it feels oddly bittersweet, you know? Like I don’t have to go out of my way to hide anymore but I’m also gonna miss that privacy I had while I was a phantom

Me ~ On the upside: people want me to be a model now XD

My message goes to Seen almost write away, the Typing icon appearing shortly after the messages were read. I wait for Rae’s reply, sipping my slowly cooling coffee with little interest due to how invested I am in our conversation. If there’s a person who can make light of this situation, it’s Rae, no doubt about it.

V ~ I know what you mean. It’s not gonna be easy to adjust to but you will get used to it eventually. I’m sure you’ll even grow to like it. Promise you, it’s not that scary to be exposed, there’s literal millions of people who support you wholeheartedly :)

V ~ Us, your friends, are here too! Never forget that, we’ve always got your back, Y/N!

V ~ Oh and you really should be a model! Whoever’s saying that has got the right idea. Maybe don’t fear this new change, but embrace it! Take this new turn in your life confidently. Sure, it was out of the blue, but do you really want the person who exposed you to feel the satisfaction of bringing you down? That doesn’t sound like you at all tbh

The epiphany strikes me as soon as Rae’s words sink in as I read them. She’s 100% right. The last thing I want is for my ex to think they’ve won. I refuse to give them the pleasure of tasting victory on the expense of my mental health and career progress. In fact, imma show them just how much they benefited me. But first...

Me ~ Thank you so much, Rae. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this eye-opener

Me ~ I owe you one <3

I sure as hell owe her one, but for now I have other battles to win.

Rifling through my gallery, I find one more recent picture and without a shred of doubt or hesitation, I go straight to Instagram to post it.

~ “Since y’all were curious...And since y’all wanna see me model, you’re welcome” ~

Within seconds likes and comments start flowing in like a riptide, taking over my phone that, despite being charged all night, is already at half of its battery life.

I refresh the page with the post to look at the new comments that have come through, all supportive and complimenting me, some are real thirsty and some are incredibly kind. And even in that sea, her comment still sticks out to me, making me grin like an idiot.

“That’s what I was talking about! Work it, Y/N!“

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jadelotusflower · 3 years

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It’s Cold in that Fridge: The Case of Nakari Kelen

Since The Case of Mara Jade has been doing the rounds again, I’ve finally gone back to this post that has been sitting in my drafts for literally years. So let’s honour this absolute badass who deserved better:

Once upon a time, the Star Wars universe was but six films (and a tv series) in the story of the Skywalker family. But beyond George Lucas’ story was an absolute boatload of books, comics, games, and other materials that made up the Expanded Universe. When Disney purchased Lucasfilm and the rights to the Star Wars saga, everything in this universe was decanonised and deemed “Legends” - some aspects of this universe were retained or re-purposed, others sit in Disney’s figurative vault and will likely never see the light of day (and seeing how the ST turned out, maybe that’s for the best).

But this transition between Legends canon and Disney canon was not so simple, because the nature of publishing meant that there were novels approved during the time of Legends canon that would be released in the time of Disney canon. In particular, there had been the planned trilogy “Empire and Rebellion”, set between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back, with each novel from the perspective of one of The Big Three.

Razor’s Edge (Leia) and Honor Among Thieves (Han) were released prior to the Great Canon Split of 2014. But while the Luke-centric novel had been planned, it was not due to be released until well after the Split. So Heir to the Jedi (so called as an homage to the Legends progenitor Heir to the Empire) became one of the first books of the Disney canon.

What does this background have to do with Nakari Kelen? Perhaps nothing, but I do wonder how the writing process was affected by the shift from Legends to Disney - was the novel a relic of the old EU with any reference the LFL storygroup didn’t like excised during editing, or was it a trendsetter for the new EU, a Sign of Things to Come?

The most salient point being, of course, that Nakari Kelen - like so many love interests before her - was not allowed to go along her merry way at the conclusion of the novel, but was shoved into the fridge.

If there was one constant of the Legends EU, it was that Luke Skywalker’s love interests couldn’t catch a break. Mara Jade naturally lasted the longest relationship-wise, with almost twenty years of marriage to Luke before some bright spark decided she had to go (as per the aforementioned case study). But before Mara there was Jem, Shira Brie, and Gaeriel Captison (who came close to escaping the curse), and in the Legacy of the Force series they brought back sole survivors Akanah and Callista, only to kill them off for good too (and rather brutally, if I may add).

So perhaps when Kevin Hearne began writing HttJ within the confines of the Legends continuity, he was merely sticking to the status quo, or perhaps once subsumed by Disney they needed to make sure Luke's slate was clean (so to speak). And I can’t put all the blame on Hearne since I don’t know whether it was his idea, or LFL mandated - but regardless it was a poor decision.

The root cause of fridging, imo, is limited imagination. How best to cause your male protagonist pain if not kill off someone they love, or at least have strong feelings for? The answer is of course, easily. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The Luke Skywalker of HttJ is fresh from his victory in ANH, a lieutenant in the Rebellion: young, not dumb, and full of...

Nakari Kalen is an absolute Queen a civilian volunteer and crack-shot sniper who loans her ship Desert Jewel to the Alliance. Luke is immediately attracted to her, they bond over a mutual love of fast ships and leaving behind desert home planets, and engage in the inexpert flirting of two nineteen year olds while also risking their lives several times over.

I want to make it clear: I actually really like this book. It's a breezy read, almost serialised as The Early Adventures of Luke Skywalker, and is ofttimes genuinely funny. And credit where it’s due to Hearne, many of of the supporting roles in the novel are female. Other than Nakari, there's Soonta, the Rodian who gives Luke her uncle’s lightsaber, Sakhet the Kupohan spy, and the Givin cryptographer/math genius Drusil Bephorin. In a genre where male characters are often the default for these kind of roles, it was nice to see, but makes the regressive fridging of Nakari even more egregious.

Luke and Nakari make a good team fighting brain-sucking monsters and Imperials, but more importantly they have fun together - she encourages him to work on his Force skills, and he successfully moves objects with his mind for the first time (leading to Nakari adorably dub him "a little noddle scooter"). It's a very sweet, if brief, relationship, and a respite from the danger of the mission. They spend the night together (leaving the reader to decide exactly what happened behind closed doors), and share a kiss before splitting up to try and escape bounty hunters. No prizes for guessing what happens to Nakari immediately after she received the Skywalker Kiss of Death.

I assume there were two motivating factors for why Hearne and/or LFL couldn't let Nakari live:

1. If she survived, fans would wonder why she doesn't appear in ESB/subsequent material.

I recall this bandied about on forums back at the time of the book's release, and to that I say - so what? Fans are always going to wonder, and try to paper over the gaps in canon, to make up their own headcanons to explain any any perceived inconsistencies. It's certainly no reason to kill someone off.

It is in fact possible for two young people to have a romance that just fizzles, or doesn’t work out for whatever reason - it should not require great maneuvering or explanation. If Nakari doesn’t show up in the next book in the timeline, what about it? The reader is smart enough to assume she and Luke broke up, decided to just remain friends, whatever. But it seems that the only way for a female character to exit stage left is for her to die, which is bullshit.

And actually, there's no reason why she couldn't have shown up again. ESB and RoTJ cover a month and a few days, respectively, of Luke's life - just because there was no mention of Nakari doesn't mean she didn't exist at that time, whether or not she and Luke were an item. She could have made an appearance in a subsequent novel, or Rebels, or the comics - she could have become a recurring character, showing up when the Rebellion needed her, or - heaven forbid - even have her own comic/book/show! Her existence in Star Wars canon didn't need to begin and end with Luke Skywalker, merely to service his plotline and backstory and abandoning the richness of her own.

No, the only reason Nakari had to die was to facilitate this:

It was a blow to the gut, realizing what that sudden absence meant. I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, but I had felt Nakari's life snuffed out through the Force, and into that void where she had shone anger rushed in - anger, and a cold sense of raw power and invincibility...I took a step to join in the hunt but stopped, breathing heavily, unaccountably sweating even though I felt so cold inside and the power of the Force roiled within me... I shook with emotion and power, and none of it felt the way the Force had before...I saw what kind of space it was , a black hole that would always be hungry no matter how much I fed it. I might never feel warm again if I didn't get myself under control.

Luke feels the dark side and is tempted by the boost of power it offers him, but immediately identifies it as dangerous and unnatural. I can understand why Hearne wanted to include this - it is a book of firsts after all: Luke's first solo mission, his first time using telekenisis, and ending with story with his first experience of the dark side makes sense. But it wasn't necessary, which leads to:

2. How to push Luke to touch the dark side without killing someone he has romantic feelings for?

Also, obviously, shite of the bull (or nerf, if you prefer). Even if this brush with the dark side was absolutely necessary for the novel's climax, there's any number of ways it could be achieved. At this point, Luke is fresh from losing important people in his life - Owen and Beru, Ben, and Biggs - lumping another death on top of that a narrative trick for Luke to react not only to losing Nakari, but the others as well. But it's cheap, the first card in the deck, and why not show a bit of imagination? Luke is young and inexperienced enough at this point that any number of things could be the catalyst - the whole book he's struggling with his growing powers, why not try and reach too far in the firefight with the bounty hunters, his anger and frustration with himself in not doing enough trigger the dark side temptation? It would work thematically and doesn't involve a fridging that ultimately has very little payoff.

Because Nakari is killed less than ten pages from the end of the book - afterwards Luke grieves, but ultimately chooses to honour her memory and be grateful for what he learned with her, recommitting to becoming a Jedi. It's all very surface level, and once again a female character's death facilitates a male character's development. Was it so imperative that Luke lost someone he cared about as part of this story? Sure, this was a time of galactic civil war, and it's far from unrealistic that these stories have a high body count, but who to make collateral damage remains an authorial choice, and in this case Nakari Kelen was (a) a female character of color, (b) a love interest of the protagonist - not just of this book, but the entire Original Trilogy.

I don't know to what extent (if any) race had to play in the decision. I'm sure there was a segment of the fandom absolutely livid that Luke Skywalker kissed (and maybe had sex with) a black woman. Was her death LFL hedging its bets, or demonstrative of the general lack of attention/respect they show their characters of colour?

In any case this was a chance to stand out from the old EU and it's fridge full of Luke's dead girlfriends, but instead they chose to introduce and kill off Nakari for the sole purpose of Luke's manpain and character development, and that's gross.

And then there's this:

A grisly yet reliable fact about custom bounty hunter ships is that you can always count on them to have body bags stashed somewhere for the easy transport of their kills. They often have built-in refrigerated storage, too.

NAKARI IS KILLED AND LITERALLY STORED IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I WAS READING.

I really hope this was unintentional on Hearne's part, because yikes. He was halfway there, this book was full of interesting female characters who had agency - Drusil in particular was a delight with her super math and inability to understand human interaction. Nakari was full of life and fun - capable but relatable, showing a different side of the Rebellion and those that suffered under the Empire's rule. Fridging her in her first appearance is considerably more vile, because it reduces her to a footnote of Luke's story, a plot device to Help Him Grow, rather than a springboard to tell more of her own story.

Because Nakari was a compelling character ripe for spinoff potential. I would absolutely have read or watched her continued adventures, juggling missions for her father's Biolabs company and trying to aid the Rebellion, shooting her slug rifle and cracking wise, maybe even finding a way to amplify her mother's song Vader's Many Prosthetic Parts to really stick it to the Empire, or try and free the political prisoners on Kessel.

The old EU was made great by allies and enemies of Our Heroes showing up again to help or hinder them, and/or branching out into their own material. We fell in love with them, and followed their stories even as they diverged from the main saga, eager to read more about their lives.

Nakari Kelen never got that chance. In many ways, she exemplified what Disney Star Wars was to become: an exercise in wasted potential.

#star wars #star wars meta #heir to the jedi #nakari kelen #luke skywalker #fridging #it's cold in that fridge #star wars expanded universe #nucanon

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cathoderaysunshinebeaver · 3 years

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Heretic/Hexen

I love Doom. I’ve never made an attempt to list my favorite video games in a numerical order, but if I did, Doom would likely be one of the highest, if not #1. I’m also a big fan of the “dark fantasy” aesthetic, so discovering the Heretic/Hexen series was a treat, to say the least.

Released in 1994, Heretic was built using the Doom engine by Raven Software, with John Romero himself having helped the team set up their computers and teaching them the basics of how he would make maps for the game. With this in mind, you’d be forgiven for saying what a lot of reviewers said at the time: this game looks like a Doom reskin with a fantasy theme.

This sentiment mostly applies to the first game, Heretic. But in a sea of other “Doom clones” released at the time, it is definitely one of the more competent ones. You play as Corvus, one of the few surviving elves in a world overtaken by the evil Serpent Riders, who have decided to exterminate all the elves because their magical powers make them resistant to the mind control spells the Serpent Riders use to conquer and subjugate realm after realm on their quest for world domination. Unsurprisingly, Corvus is out for revenge, and the end goal of the game is to hunt down and kill the first of the three Serpent Riders, D’Sparil.

The gameplay in Heretic is more similar to Doom than in the later games, but it does the Doom formula well. Most weapons have a distinct counterpart in the game it is based on: the Elven Wand is your pistol, the Dragon Claw is your chaingun, the Ethereal Crossbow is your shotgun, and so on. They are satisfying to use (save the wand, arguably), and look deliciously fantasy-eque, with beautiful spritework. The levels are split into a familiar structure, featuring three episodes with nine levels each (and two more episodes released as an expansion pack). The enemies are varied, with pretty animations and distinct sounds, and play into the Doom experience very well in that the combinations and locations of enemies in each area lends itself to very different strategies (although “run really fast and blast everyone with the crossbow” rarely fails on most difficulties). The two expansion episodes are considerably more challenging, and will require more quick thinking and ammo, sorry, mana conservation. Definitely a fun romp.

The sequel, Hexen, is where the series starts finding it’s own unique twist on the genre, and is the by many regarded as the “classic” that really put the franchise on the map. Again, you’re playing as a vindictive hero on a quest to liberate their realm from the Serpent Riders. This time it’s Korax, the second out of the three. However, now you’ve got to pick a class. This is the first big difference you’ll notice when starting the game. Corvus is MIA from his last adventure, and instead your choice of protagonist is between Baratus the Fighter, Parias the Cleric, and Daedolon the mage. While the game isn’t an RPG, these characters all have different stats when it comes to running speed and base HP. More importantly, they each have access to their own unique set of weapons. Mana is shared between the weapons, which are now split into green, blue and dual mana types, but they all behave very differently. For example, the fighter’s weapons are mostly of the melee variety and consume mana rapidly only for special attack modes, as they can still be swung without mana. The mage on the other hand uses his bare hands to cast a lot of his spells, but they do not burn through mana nearly as quickly. Unsurprisingly, the cleric is a hybrid, and uses both a spiked club and a mix of magical weapons. An “ultimate” weapon is also available to each class, which must be assembled from parts and consumes both blue and green mana, but has really devastating attacks (the cleric’s “Wraithverge” summons ghosts that scream like banshees and tear every nearby enemy to shreds; it’s just as metal as it sounds)!

Beyond the class differences, the level structure is the other major difference between Heretic and Hexen. Instead of a linear series of levels, each episode is now defined by a hub level with many branching areas that can usually be visited in any order. You need to find key items and activate switches in each one to open the way to the next world, and many areas within each sub-level are also locked until you find the right key/switch in a completely different area. As would be expected, this new spin on the level progression comes with both pros and cons. Few players today will be able to complete the game without ever looking at a walkthrough, and based on some comments I’ve read, this is one of those games that many people in the 90s would only dream of beating on their own. That said, there are very few instances where pulling a switch won’t at the very least give you a short message indicating it’s purpose (i.e. “A door has opened in the Wastelands”), and even then those with enough patience will rarely feel completely lost if they’re willing to backtrack systematically through every area over and over, taking note of every single locked door and unreachable area. I doubt it’s something the majority of gamers enjoy doing, but if you’re the type who would rather give up before accepting a hint, I’m happy to report that this game IS beatable even with your play style.

On the other hand, this structure also adds a lot to the feeling of being on a dangerous, epic quest. Metroidvania fans know that there are few things as satisfying as picking up a key and thinking “hey, I recognize this symbol! Now I can finally see what’s behind that door in the swamp!”. Uncovering the world bit by bit in this fashion really lends an air of mystery to the land of Cronos (where Hexen is set), and truly gives you that classic feeling of “pride and accomplishment” when you’re finally able to descend into that forbidding temple that’s been looming on the horizon for so long. And for those of you who are worried you won’t get to blast enough monsters to get your fill, this game still has you covered.

The enemies in Hexen are just as threatening as those in Heretic, and they look even better this time (seriously, if you enjoyed the visual aspect of Heretic, Hexen steps it up tenfold with truly gorgeous sprites, textures, animations and even some environmental visual effects, like thick mist and dead leaves blowing in the wind). You’ve got a fantastic cast of evil wizards, zombies, dog-like orcs, Minotaurs and more types of dragons and dragon hybrids than you could shake a Mace of Contrition at. A good amount of the baddies are initially very similar to those in Heretic, but their attacks are more distinct, varied and dangerous, and there are a whole lot more of these guys this time around. If you have the enemy counter turned on in your automap it won’t be uncommon to see the numbers exceed 400, and some of the weaker enemies will even respawn after a while. Don’t worry though, it’s not frequent enough to be stressful, but instead it really helps the backtracking from getting too tedious. Key hunting is a lot more intense when you never know if an Ettin is waiting around the corner to cave your skull in! However, if you’ve seen any other reviews of this game, you’ve heard a lot of grief expressed in regards to the Minotaurs (and their big brothers, the Maulotaurs). They aren’t the strongest foe in the game, but their shields, their surprise lighting bolts and their sheer numbers can definitely be a pain in the gluteus maximus. On the plus side, it makes killing them all the more satisfying, and you’ll find yourself experimenting quite a bit with your weapons and items to figure out the safest and quickest way to end their existence.

That’s right, I forgot to mention the items. The third and last major difference between Doom and these games is your inventory. The items are largely the same in all the games in the series, and using them can be a bit of a hassle unless you’re willing to fiddle around with your control settings to find a setup you prefer (I would usually bind the item selection keys to the scroll wheel and use them with the right mouse button). Visually, the inventory is similar to that seen in Duke Nukem 3D, and just like in that game, you’ll likely find yourself using some items a lot more frequently than others. Health and mana refills are a major aid, and beyond that you have things such as invisibility, invincibility, flechettes (despite what the name says, they’re more like grenades or mines, depending on your class), and a magical book that gives your weapons a much more powerful firing mode for a short time (although this item is mysteriously absent in Hexen). A special mention also goes to the Morph Ovum/Porkelator/Seal of the Ovinomancer, which transforms an enemy into a chicken/pig/sheep, respectively. A lot of fun to use, and and immense help against some stronger enemies if you’re low on health and/or mana.

If you didn’t find yourself using these items all too much in Heretic or Hexen, the following game might just give you a reason to. Hexen II is the third game in the series, and the final chapter in the Serpent Riders saga. This time you’re in the realm of Thyrion, and the last Serpent Rider, Eidolon, is the one who must be slain to free the land from his curse. In terms of gameplay, Hexen II is a lot more similar to Hexen than Hexen was to Heretic. You’ve got the same type of hub level structure, and you’ll again pick a class at the start, although now your choice has expanded, consisting of the Crusader, Paladin, Necromancer and Assassin, as well as the Demoness in the expansion (yes, all these games have expansion packs and they’re all worth playing in that they’re more of the same, but expanded, duh, and more polished).

The major difference this time around is one you can probably tell immediately from the screenshot: yes, Hexen II goes 3D (and in an exception to the common rule at the time, it is NOT titled “Hexen 3D” despite technically being the third installment). Specifically, the game uses a modified Quake engine. As mentioned, the core gameplay remains largely the same as in Hexen, but the level designers definitely did not waste that extra dimension. The levels are less expansive here, but a lot more complex and full of hidden passages, surprising loops and a whole lot of verticality. Scurring across a courtyard with archers raining arrows down on you from balconies is just as tense as it is satisfying later on to reach the same balcony and return the favor to any ghoul unlucky enough to find themselves below. Overall, the layout and progression in each area feels like it’s been given a lot more consideration and has endured more testing. Most of the time, the key hunting in each area feels more self-contained, and when it isn’t you rarely feel like you have no idea where to go. This is because every lock has been designed to feel more like a puzzle. In practice, your goal is still to find an item and bring it somewhere, but the locks and keys themselves are much more distinct, which helps you remember what to do and where to go. Instead of levers and typical keys, you find yourself looking for artefacts such as potion ingredients that will let you turn metal into wood, pieces of a broken mechanism or symbolic relics that must be placed in the hands of a statue to go in line with a prophecy. There are also more direct instructions in the form of book entries and inscribed stone tablets, which are very helpful in those cases where the puzzle might require a bit more than just item hunting, such as pulling switches in a certain order or lining objects up to create a pattern. It’s still unlikely that you’ll breeze through the whole game without getting confused, but you’ll rarely be at a complete loss; you’ll usually know what you’re looking for or what you’re trying to activate, even if you may need a walkthrough to find a specific hidden passage or to figure out exactly what a contraption does.

Overall, Hexen II feels like a refined Hexen, with more care put into making every area feel very distinct. It is absolutely not any less challenging though. The areas might be smaller in terms of actual units of measurement, and there are definitely fewer enemies on the screen at all times, but this is compensated for in spades. The third dimension adds a thick layer of complexity to every level, and the enemies hit HARD. If you got into a rhythm in Hexen of circle strafing, dodging and picking off targets in an order of perceived priority, you’ll have to learn to dance to a different tune here. Some enemies will close in on you incredibly quickly, and many of them have the ability to turn you into minced meat in a matter of seconds. Now more than ever is when you’ll want to shoot with a steady aim, use your items wisely, keep all the possible paths of retreat in your mental map, and scour every nook and cranny for health and mana to stand a chance against some of the stronger mooks. Hexen II as a whole is a lot more fast paced and tense and also has a more dramatic views and set pieces along with some extra bits of storytelling scattered around the world for those interested.

So, what are my thoughts on the Heretic/Hexen series as a whole? In short, it’s a treat. Combining classic fantasy tropes with the hectic action of Doom (and Quake) was an idea that was bound to happen sooner or later, and in this case, it worked out really well. There are of course other examples of this iconic clash of genres (check out Amid Evil for a totally kick-ass recent example!), but from what I know, the Serpent Riders saga is the one with the most lasting appeal. All the games strike a great balance between frantic, gory FPS action and the slower paced mystery and brooding sense of evil that only dark castles and dungeons can provide, with each game leaning a bit more toward one direction or the other. At a core gameplay level, there is nothing absolutely groundbreaking about Heretic/Hexen, but every element is done well and with care, and the presentation oozes of 20th century gothic fantasy charm, both the visuals and music. If the first paragraph of this review made you go “oh, those are both things I like!” then definitely check these games out. Same goes for anyone who is simply curious about the history of Id software and the impact Doom and Quake had on the gaming landscape. My only warning to you before playing these games is this: keep in mind that these games are from the 90s. There’s a reason many people have memories of booting these games up, getting completely stuck and then never playing them again. That said, as long as you have an internet connection (how else would you be reading this?) and an average amount of patience, there’s a whole lot of fun to be had here. All the games mentioned above are available on Steam (and GoG as well, I believe), and play excellently with modern source ports: gzdoom for Heretic and Hexen, and Hammer of Thyrion for Hexen II are my recommendations.

Finally, there is another game in the franchise. Heretic II returns to the story of Corvus (from the first game) and continues the story beyond the Serpent Riders arc, but due to some licensing issues it is not available on neither Steam nor GoG. Technically you could still buy a physical copy of the game, and I’ve seen mentions of at least one fan endeavor to make the game more accessible on modern computers, but I have yet to check it out. Maybe in the future. For now, I hope you enjoyed this dive into one of the slightly less famous, but still very popular classic 90s “Doom clones”!

#doom #id software #heretic #hexen #raven software #hexen ii #quake #90s #gaming #boomer shooter

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shinsoups · 4 years

Text

Student No. 22 —

m a s t e r l i s t

pairing: shinsou hitoshi x f!reader x class1a

genre: 1tbsp of crack, 1 tsp of fluff, a sprinkle of angst and 1 cup of chaotic randomness

synopsis: y/n was certain she would never be a Hero. She had a different goal in her mind, and that is to be a great doctor someday. With a terrible past she wants to forget, she vows she would never use her Quirk and will never let the world know what it is. Not until she finds out that the invincible quirk she thought she has can also have a certain weakness.

random updates

a/n: canon Shinsou is joining hero class for their second year but I'm gonna make him part of Class 1A already yay!

OO4.1 : Hero vs Villain —

You can feel the tension wash over you when every student started to pile out the changing rooms and proceeded towards the training ground. The farther you drag your feet, the deeper your thoughts ran riot. Who was the person who just controlled you? How did that happen so fast and why did Aizawa never bothered stopping the fight? The secret you hold on to for so long was now out in the open for the whole class to see. The adrenaline rush you felt earlier started to subside, panic once again spreading on your nerves.

Was this their plan from the start? You stopped in your tracks upon realization, clenching your fists, knuckles turning white...are they trying to control and use you? Is the HSPC behind this? Are they going to make you into something like Hawks is? You shuddered with the thought.

A warm hand suddenly pulled you out of reverie. Asui, was it? The green haired girl stood in front of you with worried eyes. "y/n-chan?" she tilted her head sideways, "Is everything okay?"

It’s not the question that startled you, but the idea of someone worrying for you shook you to the core. Growing up in a household without any affection, the warmth of the hand comforting you somehow made you feel at ease. Your eyes soften until the tension on your shoulders loosens a bit “Asui-san, is there--”

"You can call me Tsuyu," she says.

“Uhmm Tsuyu-san, actually--” you started to fidget when more of your classmates started to hover beside you. Tsuyu and her friends were now circling you asking if you were all right. Midoriya carried on staring at you somehow urging you to confide to them. After some thought, you mentally sighed and told them.

"Earlier about what happened...I didn't mean to fight that guy. My body--"

You looked at them with hesitation on your eyes, "Someone was controlling me. I wasn't in control, but my body was moving on its own telling me to fight him. After that... everything suddenly turned blurry until I slapped myself. I swear I'm not..." you sighed, your eyes meeting Todoroki’s mismatched colored ones.

"-bad." the last word turned into a hush.

Were you trying to convince them? Or were you trying to tell that yourself? The idea of being controlled somehow made you twitch in disgust, but the thought of crushing someone else's dreams weighed you even down. This is why you don't want anyone to find out about it. People obsessing over Quirks, people limiting their selves cause of it...you don’t want any of that. You don’t want to hinder anyone, so why can’t the HPSC leave you all alone?

The four of them exchange knowing glances, Uraraka was the first to speak, "We know. It's because you replied back to him." She looked at Midoriya.

"Him?"

"Ahh...Shinsou-kun. The guy sitting next to you in class." Midoriya pressed a hand on the back of his neck, lost in thoughts.

Todoroki supplied, "His Quirk is Brainwashing.”

“I don't have any idea why he would suddenly use his Quirk against you since it is not allowed inside the classroom. But can I ask you a question y/n?" Midoriya continued.

Brainswashing...so that's why. You nodded, mentally listing reasons on why he would do so and how his Quirk passed through yours. The shocking realization made you want to know more about him and his power. How and why can he pass yours? Your invincible Quirk you once thought was impermeable now has a weakness...interesting.

The five of you started to walk again towards the exit, waiting for Midoriya to shoot his question. He awkwardly waved his hands, eyes not looking at yours, telling you that it's okay not to answer if you're uncomfortable with it.

"I-I've never seen any Quirk like yours. I thought that Aizawa-sensei erased Kacchan's quirk when he was fighting you, but the fire explosions kept coming. Yet your body somehow takes the blow and the fire disappears right after hitting you leaving no damage at all. You can nullify fire attacks? But you also have Stealth since you ran so fast. Do you have multiple Quirks?" he mumbled continuously lost in his own trail of thoughts.

He looked really interested, a look just like yours whenever you take notes about different Quirks and their weaknesses on your notes. You sighed a small smile lingers on the corner of your lips. They just saw what happened but why are they acting so interested and not disgusted by it? Why are they so excited to find out about it? You expected them to reject you just like all those kids who harmed you when you were young. The main reason why you were home-schooled and never let anyone know about you. Should you just go on and tell them? You debated but before you could reply, the class representative were calling all of you to hurry up.

-----------------

Class 1-A stood infront of the large gates of the training ground— ruins and buildings scattered behind just like a city damaged by a real battle.

Holding a box, Aizawa’s tired eyes settles on everyone in front of him. “I’ll draw your names out.” His voiced drawled out in exhaustion. “7 teams in total. A group will consist of 2 heroes and one villain to act out. The only way to win is when you capture your enemies with this tape or if you get this badge pinned on your enemies. Once taped or the pin is stolen from you, you’re not allowed to fight anymore.” Aizawa held up a little button pin with a red x mark.

Iida realizing that there are now twenty two of them stuck out his hand, “Sensei!”

But before he could ask his question Aizawa already supplied an answer, “This class exercise will help you in situations were in heroes who never worked together before will get to partner up and adapt to the situation to defeat the villain. Since there are 22 of you now, one group will have 2 villains. The first two I’ll call will be the heroes and the last one would be the villain. Just group yourselves once called and proceed to the waiting room after I’ve finished.”

Aizawa started calling out names. And maybe the gods of misfortune are on your side after hearing your own name called out in the first group. Belatedly realizing that you’ll be facing the same two people who you fought minutes after you introduced yourself in class.

Whispers soon started to rise when your name was called after Bakugou and Shinsou. A look of excitement soon spread across the blonde one. Shinsou on the other hand, had his shoulders slumped, stealing some glances on your way. Midoriya must have read the panic on your face, because he waved his hands mumbling once again and good naturedly tried to comfort you.

“y/n,” Aizawa’s voice drowned out the whispers as everyone’s attention were now on you. “Think of this as a first step in our agreement. Maybe you’ll soon find an answer once this exercise is finished. You can go all out.” He then pets your head, another unfamiliar gesture that shocked you. “This class will treat you as a hopeful hero just like them. You already showed you’re more than capable. If you accept yourself that you have that potential, maybe you’ll realize the answer for yourself.”

With that Aizawa proceeded to leave. The other students started to follow, leaving you Bakugou and Shinsou on the training ground. But before Midoriya could leave, you run towards him asking something you forgot earlier.

“Midoriya-kun, about his Quirk,” you whispered. “How does his Brainwashing works?”

Bakugou noticed Deku talking to the new student. Feeling someone’s gaze were on you locked eyes wthi the guy Midoriya kept calling Kacchan. He grunted with a smirk on his face “I’ll let you know who’s the strongest. Hey you--” he called out to Shinsou. “Don’t get in my way.” With that he walked towards the front of the gates leaving you three behind.

“Remember what I told you?” Midoriya asked once again. You nodded, thanking him for some information about your assigned enemies.

Shinsou looked at you when you walked towards them as you all waited for the gates to open. Sill feeling guilty about what happened, the apology left unsaid was still hanging on his mouth.

You breathe, trying to smooth the wrinkle on your shirt. “Don’t.”

“Don’t?” he asked confused, tilting his head to look at you eye to eye.

“Don’t apologize, Shinsou-kun,” his name rolling out of your mouth made him unable to spit out the apology.

You looked up at him, meeting his gaze. “I have a feeling they used you to get what they want. I won’t let them control me. I won’t let them get their way. I’ll do this my way.” You stared back at his dark purple irises, determined to let them know that your power is nothing important nor interesting. That the HPSC are just obsessed over your late parents’ Quirk experiments, looking for another set of talents for them to hone and use for their own good. You refused to be like them, to be like him.

“I can be a Hero in my own way. But if what they want is to let them see me use my Quirk, I’ll show it to them.” You grit your teeth accepting your fate. “Besides,”

A siren blasts signaling that the exercise is now starting. As soon as the gates opened Bakugou sprinted towards the designated Hero base, leaving you two behind.

“Besides, I need to know how you got me earlier.” You looked at him once again. “I won’t let you do that again to me.” With that being said, you ran towards your designated spot with a new found determination.

Shinsou places his detachable mask over his mouth, a small smile placed on his lips. “Like I said I worked my way to be able to sit where I am. I always dreamed of being a Hero. I’ll fight my way again to reach for that.” He races behind you, realizing that there’s a part of you similar to him.

“You’re not a villain just cause of your power, silly girl. So don’t hold back. Cause I sure hell won’t.” He shouted as he fall behind you.

You were tempted to answer, but recalling what Midoriya had told you, you bit your tongue to stop yourself. So instead you mouthed the words, “I WON’T.” Leaving Shinsou dazed once again as you ran in full speed leaving him on the empty streets of the training ground.

“Ahhh I should really work on my stamina,” he murmurs to himself as he catches his breath, running to where his hot-headed partner would be.

taglist: @sugarandsoft @roesaurus @moonlightbae14 @therealwalmartjesus @redperson58 @i-bitch-you-bitch @allie-munoz

🍥 general taglist: @b0ku4ka @skusamiya @chibishae34

i got a taglist im soft ~ want to join? just leave a comment or send an ask my dudes ✨

likes, comments and reblogs is highly appreciated 🐣 ✨

#shinsou hitoshi #bnha #bnha x reader #hitoshi shinsou #class 1a #shinou hitoshi x reader #class 1a x reader #bnha fic #shinsou hitoshi x y/n #shinsou hitoshi x f!reader #sey writes #🔖: student no. 22

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madeofsplinters · 3 years

Text

Playlist Notes: “Playing With Fire”

@taxxxon suggested that I should write liner notes for my fic playlists (we were talking about pop music and how easy it is to project whatever context you want into a song, but conversely, how hard it is to then get that context across to another person who’s projected something different into the same song or who simply doesn’t care for it)

So, here goes - liner notes for the official “Playing With Fire” playlist

Listen along on: [Spotify | YouTube]

This is a whole series, but I decided to make a playlist for the whole thing, rather than one playlist per fic. (If you haven’t read the fics, these liner notes will probably make no sense; this isn’t a playlist meant to represent the Vader/Tarkin ship generally, but a playlist describing what happens to them in this very particular fanfic series.)

In This Moment - Adrenalize

Make me feel like a god Adrenaline and sex

This is mostly just a song that I added, partway through the playlist making process, because I wanted a few more songs for texture/pacing that were just straight-up songs about kinky sex. But it’s also a good summary of where the characters are emotionally, near the beginning of the series (like mid-”Do Not Be Prey,” or the first chapter of “Holding Vader’s Leash”) - craving intense sensory experiences, fascinated by each other, but both insisting that it’s nothing more serious, that they’re only using each other for this bizarre kind of pleasure.

Kim Boekbinder feat. Veronica Varlow - Sex Magic

Come put your magic inside me

This is actually the first song that ever went on the playlist - I was listening to it on repeat while I was working on “Do Not Be Prey.” The elastic, expansive, not-quite-concrete way it deals with bodies, while also being undeniably physically lustful, is perfect for the weird way that Vader deals with sex in this series. Plus, it’s a bop? The only reason it stopped being the opening song is because it’s a poppier song, and I felt like it didn’t quite prepare listeners for the LARGE AMOUNT OF ANGRY METAL that comes immediately afterwards :D

Liv Sin - Devil’s Plaything

In this flame that burns inside If you get too close, it’ll burn you alive

This is the part of “Holding Vader’s Leash” where we get a little deeper into Vader’s feelings - terrified of intimacy and of the way he could harm someone he cares about, because of how messed up he is inside, and pushing Tarkin away consequently.

Halestorm - Vicious

I'm not gonna break I can take all that you can give

If there was one song that sums up the kink dynamic Vader and Tarkin have in this series, it’d be this one - gleefully cruel, self-assured, convinced that one can handle anything one’s partner dishes out. It’s also, in a way, Tarkin’s answer to the previous song. Vader might be scared, but he’s not - he’ll risk it all, accept the consequences, and trust that he’s tough enough to survive.

Stitched Up Heart - Turn You On

I can't wait to watch your ego bleed And all the pain you feel will set you free

Here we’re transitioning into “Sea Life of Scarif” with another Song About Kinky Sex Just For Pacing Reasons. Not much to say about this one, except that the “Are you awake?” at the beginning is funny to me, given the number of times Vader rudely wakes Tarkin up in the middle of the night in this fic...

Halsey - Control

I can't help this awful energy Goddamn right, you should be scared of me

Annnnd suddenly we’re switching genres. This is such a good Anakin angst song, I’ve seen it on playlists about him before. Each successive fic in this series really cracks open Vader’s inner turmoil even deeper than the one before it. Everything about this song is appropriate and good and I can’t list all the reasons here, but I’ll mention just one - which is that “who is in control?” is as good a way as any to summarize most of the conflict between Vader and Tarkin in this story.

Digital Daggers - In Flames

And I know your devils I know them by name When you look my way Oh I'm not afraid

“Sea Life of Scarif” is also the fic where the whole dynamic collapses into tenderness, eventually. This song is Tarkin’s answer to Vader’s fear and vulnerability - forming a question/answer pair with the previous song like a stripped-down, more romantic version of “Devil’s Plaything” / “Vicious.” These disaster boys may yet hurt each other, but they know they’re where they want to be.

The Dark Element - The Dark Element

She lives in me And she lives in you, it is true It's in our nature So let her burn

Now we’re on into “I Will Not Let My Body Belong To The Dead,” which is the story with all the fun Sith Temple weirdness - so here’s a little ode to the Dark Side. In particular, the way it personifies the Dark Side in female form (as “your dead heart queen,” no less) is very appropriate for the way the Sith temple’s consciousness appears to Vader.

September Mourning - Overdose

There’s something inside me that dies to be near you Something alive in me wakes when I feel you

Meanwhile, instead of paying attention to the mission, Vader is consumed with his desire to experience physical touch again, even if it’s medically questionable or way too much for him to handle at one time.

Valerie Broussard - Deeper

I'm kicking all the doors down I swear I'm gonna pull you out 'Cause your demons have been screaming loud

Honestly, I’m not sure I’m completely satisfied with this half of the playlist? These songs might not all be in the right order. But anyway, this fic is also about Tarkin having to confront how damaged Vader is and how much help he actually needs, despite his invulnerable facade. He is, of course, undeterred - even when his way of being undeterred by the challenge crosses over into enabling Vader a little.

Three Days Grace - Fallen Angel

I was right beside you when you went to hell and back again And I, I couldn't save a fallen angel

Same as above, really.

Evanescence - Good Enough

Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand I can't say no to you

I’ve been told that Vader has only two modes - cartoonishly invulnerable, or horrifically vulnerable. This song is the latter. At this point in the story, Vader craves what Tarkin can do for him so strongly and has so little regard for his own boundaries or safety that they have to get medical intervention before he accidentally kills them both. It’s a whole thing! Not having boundaries is a whole thing. It’s romantic and yet very, very bad. I don’t know.

Skillet - Feel Invincible

I’m made of fire Who can stop me tonight?

And it wouldn’t be in character if it wasn’t immediately followed up with something from the cartoonishly invulnerable side. (Sorry, I LOVE this juxtaposition, I don’t care if I’m the only one who loves it.)

This song has a lot to do with what Vader and Tarkin both see in each other. Tarkin is a badass in his own right, but he’s even stronger when he has Vader (a dude who’s literally “earthquake powerful”) at his side. And there’s nothing like a person who genuinely cares for him, as he is, to make Vader brave.

(This is also technically supposed to be a Christian rock song, but I advise you not think about that very hard.)

Kesha - Godzilla

While everyone else is running and screaming I just love being with you

This is not a song I associate with any particular fic in the series; instead, it’s the song I picture playing while the credits roll, & it’s been the conclusion of the playlist since before I’d even started to write anything else beyond “Holding Vader’s Leash.” This is the secretly sweet, goofy, monster-loving heart of it all.

#fic playlist

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minsugapie · 4 years

Text

Miscommunication 2/2 (Yoongi’s POV)

pairing: Yoongi x reader

genre: fluff, trusfration, slight angst if you squint, one shot (part 2)

words: 3712

a/n: if you haven’t, please read part 1 because although this is in yoongi’s pov, only one scene overlaps!!

• • • • • •

PART 1

• • • • • •

The first time Yoongi saw you, you were standing in line at Starbucks. You ended up ordering his favourite drink. While he was taken by you, you failed to notice him, having been completely immersed in the music you were listening to. He didn’t mind; however, because seeing you content forced an aura of calmness to wash over him. He watched from his table where he’d been working on a project as other people (men) stole glances at you. You were wearing tight pants, enough to show off your legs. He felt oddly protective, and wanted to give you his flannel to wrap around your waist. But before he could even finish imagining the impossible scenario inside his head, you were walking out the door with a small smile on your face after you took the first sip of your drink. Sighing deeply, he went back to his work, not entirely focused on what he was doing anymore.

Since that day, Yoongi began to see you everywhere—on campus, at the mall, at his favourite restaurants, and even out with his friend Jimin. Jimin and Yoongi had known each other since first year when they shared a class, and Yoongi liked how loyal Jimin was as a friend. Although Yoongi had many friends, there was only a select few that he called his best friends.

One afternoon, when Yoongi was waiting for Jimin to meet him for lunch, was the day he realized that Jimin actually knew who you were. He spotted the two of you walking together, Jimin’s arm around your shoulders protectively. You laughed at something he said before pushing him off of you and walking in the opposite direction. You looked back quickly, but only so that you could send him a quick wink and a wave goodbye.

Jimin walked up to Yoongi, who was still watching you walk in the other direction. When Jimin reached him, he followed Yoongi’s line of vision, not entirely sure what he was watching since you were surrounded by people.

“What are you looking at?” He asked Yoongi, waving a hand in front of his face.

“Oh,” he blinked a few times before answering, “Uh, that girl that you were just walking with…are you two together?” Yoongi was nervous to ask him this question. You’d been taking up his every though, consuming his mind and body more than he’d like to admit. You were the inspiration for all of his latest music, and he didn’t even know who you were. Heck, he didn’t even know if you’d ever even noticed him before. He was never one to shy away from staring at you, and it frustrated him sometimes because GOD you were the most oblivious person he’d ever seen. If only you’d make eye contact with him just once, he’d have the courage to talk to you.

“Who? Y/N? No, we’ve known each other since high school. She’d a good buddy…” Jimin explained, narrowing his eyes at Yoongi. “Why?”

Yoongi cleared his throat before straightening his back and starting the walk to the restaurant. “I’ve just been seeing her around. That’s all.” He tried to hide his interest, but he knew that he had a terrible poker face—but only when it came to women. He wasn’t entirely telling a lie, but he wasn’t giving the entire story either.

“You’re lying.”

Yoongi looked down at his feet when he walked, wondering how he should respond. “Fine. I have been seeing her around, but I can’t get her out of my head. Every time I’ve seen her plays whenever I close my eyes. I have no escape.”

Jimin sighed, and Yoongi automatically wondered why. “She’s not really into guys.”

Yoongi paled, all hope vanishing from his body. “She likes women?”

Jimin smiled and released a small chuckle. “It’s not like that. She doesn’t have any desire to be with anyone, I guess. She doesn’t sleep around, and she doesn’t go on dates. She likes being alone. Besides, I’ve heard about the previous guys she’s taken a liking to, and they’re all opposite from you. I wouldn’t say you’re exactly her type, hyung.”

“Oh.” Yoongi’s hope returned, but only slightly because of what Jimin said.

“What’s her type then?”

Jimin couldn’t help but smile again. “What are you going to change for her?” He joked and nudged Yoongi in the arm.

“No,” Yoongi groaned, “I just want to know if I even have an inkling of a chance.”

“I don’t want to give you hope, but I really don’t know for sure…”

Neither of the two of them said anything more until they say down at the table to order.

“What about my birthday next week? What if you brought her?” Yoongi offered. He had to do something. There was no way that he was letting you slip between his fingers. He would regret it for the rest of his life.

“I can try to convince her. She likes to party, I guess…” Jimin answered, taking sip of the water that the waitress brought to the table.

Yoongi sighed again. Why did he have to be into somebody so aloof to dating culture?

• • • • • •

Yoongi’s birthday was tonight, and he was a ball of nerves. He had no idea how you were going to respond to him. Actually, he didn’t even know whether you’d even be there or not. Jimin said that you were still deciding.

Yoongi’s best friend Hoseok was chilling on his couch watching some dancing videos on YouTube as Yoongi paced his apartment in anxious anticipation.

“Dude, why are you stressin’?” Hobi asked, pausing his video to look at Yoongi.

“Y/N may or may not be coming tonight.” Yoongi deadpanned, flopping onto the couch beside his friend.

“Y/N? As in the only girl in your world for the last couple months? You invited her? You talked to her?!” Hobi’s interest piqued at the mention of her. He’d never seen his friend so invested in someone he hadn’t even met.

“No, apparently she’s Jimin’s good friend. I told him to invite her.” Yoongi revealed. He wondered then if he looked okay. Did he need a haircut. He was so stressed that he almost forgot to shave this morning. He was just glad that he hadn’t gotten a massive mountain on the top of his nose from stress.

“Well, there we go! Now we just have to get her attention!”

“It might not be that easy,” Yoongi groaned, running his hands through his hair.

“It’s your birthday tomorrow! Let’s have some confidence!” Hobi exclaimed, clapping his friend on the shoulder while hyping him up.

“You’re right. I’m a handsome guy. I know how to talk to women…mostly…I can do it!”

“Yeah!”

“Cool…”

• • • • • •

The party at the bar was in full swing, and Yoongi tried his best not to think of you. He didn’t want to dampen his mood and ruin the night if you never showed up. You knew that Hobi tried his hardest to make sure that she would introduce herself by telling everyone over the loud speakers who didn’t actually know him to introduce themselves.

He’d almost lost all hope of talking to you, when Hobi elbowed him harshly in the ribs as he was talking to a classmate. You were in front of him, in all your glory, with a smile on your face. In fact, he’s so struck that he couldn’t even say hello to you. Thankfully, you broke the ice. It kicked his malfunctioning brain back into circuit. He was actually able to flirt with you. And it must’ve been enough because, surprisingly, you hadn’t rejected him. Even Jimin seemed surprised.

It was safe to say that Yoongi was mesmerized by you all night. He didn’t want you to leave his side, literally ever. Even when he could tell that the bartender, Jackson, harboured a major crush on you, he still never fell from his high. All your attention was on him, and he couldn’t have been any happier about it. And then the kiss happened. That kiss the two of you shared on the dance floor sent his emotions into overdrive. He craved more of you, wanting to feel every bit of your skin under his palms. He wanted your fingers laced through his hair. He wanted all of you to himself. He no longer wanted to be at this party with all these people that seemed less than important now that he’d met you. You were all-consuming. He could feel you almost dangerously taking hold of every molecule in his body. He wasn’t sure what to call it. Was it love at first sight? Was he clinging onto a version of you that he’d created in his mind? Or was it something a little darker, a little scarier?

When you’d agreed to spend the night at his place, he almost burst into flames right then and there. You had no idea how much you affected him, not only sexually, but just the way you made him feel when you were around. He’d only ever felt butterflies around people before, but just like that first time he saw you in Starbucks, you calmed him. Just one look into his eyes, and he felt like he could conquer the world. He felt like he was invincible, that nothing could touch him.

Deep inside, he wondered what you were thinking, and if you felt about him even the slightest way that he felt about you.

• • • • • •

The week following his birthday was bliss. You’d agreed to meet with him again and again, not having to reply his night together with you because you’d created new memories, new moments of ecstasy, together.

The fourth time you’d visited his apartment about two weeks into seeing each other, he did some serious thinking. You’d spent hours together—not only having sex—but also talking and getting to know each other a little better. He realized that the version of you that he’d created in his head was exactly who you were. You were kind and helpful, smart and witty, and also hilarious as hell. He’d realized that the calmness that he felt every time you were together was proof that he’d really experienced love at first sight. Christ, he knew that it was crazy to believe in such a thing, and if you’d asked him if he believed in it before seeing you for the first time, he would have laughed in your face. But here he was, holding you in his arms while you peacefully slept. He ran his hands through your hair, looking at your face. He took in the way your eyelashes fanned out over the top of your cheekbones, the way the shape of your nose perfectly complimented your face, the way your lips fluttered with every short breath you took.

He simply couldn’t look away. Was watching you sleep considered creepy? Either way, you were his, or more, he was yours. In a second, your eyes fluttered open, meeting his. He didn’t look away, and his heart swelled when you smiled at him in response. You pulled back, much to his dismay, to ask, “What time is it?”

Yoongi didn’t want to answer because whenever you did, you left him there all alone with only the memories of your time together. But he couldn’t ignore you, so he reached over you and tapped his phone. It was past curfew for you to get back to your dorm before they locked the doors on you.

“Yoongi!” You complained when he told you, throwing the covers over your head in frustration.

“What’s the big deal? Just sleep here tonight and I’ll walk you to class tomorrow,” he suggested, wanting nothing more than for you to curl back into him and fall asleep once again.

You peeked your nose out of the blanket in such a cute way that he almost lost it. “You’d let me stay here?”

“Sure. Why not?” He said, grabbing your waist and pulling you back to his chest. You were wearing one of his shirts, and he really wished that you weren’t wearing one at all. But, he knew you felt more comfortable that way.

“Okay,” you whispered, placing a small kiss on his cheek. His heart skipped a beat, and he was sure that you’d felt it. You didn’t comment, but you snuggled into him and quickly fell asleep again.

He felt the need to ask fate why they’d let him be so lucky.

• • • • • •

Word had gotten around that Yoongi and you had been sleeping together. Yoongi couldn’t believe that you were his girlfriend. It was like you were perfect for each other. Not once had you fought. Well, obviously you debated on some topics, but nothing was ever in hatred or malice. He liked how stubborn you could be when defending what was right, and he loved that you weren’t ever afraid to be exactly who you were.

The only thing that slightly bothered him was that he was now hyper aware of all the men’s attention that you successfully captures wherever you went. He would still see you places, and you wouldn’t notice him. You didn’t notice anyone else either, which was what really kept him sane.

He wouldn’t ever say that he was jealous, because not once had he seen you express interest in anyone, so it was hard to label what he was feeling. Maybe it was a natural protectiveness that came when you were dating someone?

He was hanging out with Hobi one night when he asked him, “What do you think of Y/N?”

Hobi coughed on the sip of his drink that he’d just taken. “What do you mean?”

Yoongi wasn’t asking him a loaded question, but he was just curious and couldn’t focus on the movie they were watching. “Do you think she’s hot?”

“Are you trying to torture yourself, hyung? I’m not going to answer that question.” Hobi replied, taking another sip of his drink, still trying to stop coughing.

Yoongi obviously didn’t mean anything by it, but he’s curious about what his friends think. “It’s okay if you do. I just…don’t you think that she’s like a little too perfect?”

“I think that she’s perfect to you. Sure, she’s good looking, but from what you’ve told me, you’re just trying to rationalize why you like her so much. It’s okay to like her as much as you do. It was bound to happen. She could be your soulmate or whatever…” Hobi trailed off, looking out the window. Yoongi knew that Hobi believed that there was only one person that was made for everyone.

But soulmate? He guessed he really liked the sound of that. “Is it too early to think that? It’s only been a month.”

“I think whatever you’re feeling is valid,” Hobi admitted before adding, “And honestly, I’m kinda jealous because I want to love somebody as much as you love her.”

He did love you, that much he was certain of.

• • • • • •

Yoongi liked to study with you. Moreover, he liked to watch you study. You were cute when you concentrated, trying to take in all the information you could. He found your study habits interesting, and loved how excited you got when you explained to him something that you’d just learned.

The place that you’d visit most often to study was a semi-popular bubble tea place a few blocks from his apartment. It was relatively quiet, so the two of you weren’t interrupted very often.

Yoongi liked to always sit across from you, so he could brush his knees with yours and look at your face whenever he needed a study break (which was more often than he would’ve liked to admit). You looked particularly concentrated today, highlighting the passages in your book with your tongue sticking out. He wouldn’t stared at you for a while longer, but the flash of your phone getting a notification caught his attention.

Normally, he went right back to work and didn’t care, but he clearly read the work Jackson. His interest was piqued. Why were you texting him? Slight insecurity flowed through him as he peeked back up at you. You still hadn’t noticed your phone buzzed. A second message came in not a minute later.

He clearly read what they said, even if he was reading them upside down.

[Hey, are we still on for our date tonight?]

[Btw I’m glad you finally agreed to this.]

Yoongi tried to stay calm, but it clearly stated that you were going on a date tonight—something that he was not okay with. Like at all.

Tapping your leg with one of his feet, he called your name. It took a second for you to register and take a headphone out of your ear. You hummed without even looking up at him. Oh, how he wished you would. He wanted to see what you were thinking, even though he always found you impossible to read.

He wondered if you could read every thought that went through his head. He never tried to hide anything, but he knew that he wouldn’t have been able to even if he did. You, on the other hand, were impossible to read at the best of times.

“You’re texting Jackson,” he deadpanned, pushing the phone closer to you. He gauged your face for a reaction. It paled, and for a brief millisecond he was able to see something readable. However, it left so quickly that he couldn’t decipher if. How frustrating! You had him like a puppet on strings, and he couldn’t even begin to know how you were feeling ever.

“Yeah?” Was what you settled on responding. She said it like it wasn’t weird, like it was normal for people in monogamous relationships to be texting other people and setting up dates with them!

“Why?” He was still trying to stay at calm as possible. Maybe it was all a misunderstanding. He took off his headphone, giving you his complete attention.

(Like you hadn’t had it before lol…)

“Because he likes me?” Was her answer.

B-because he liKES HER? Yoongi was stunned by her words. Closing his eyes, he tried to find the words to respond. His mind was swirling with possibilities of her texting guys upon guys that weren’t her. It didn’t sound like her, but he wasn’t thinking straight and couldn’t rationalize properly. Finally, he managed, “Wait, are you dating other people?”

“Aren’t you?” She countered immediately, a mixed of worried and confused emotions on her face. Finally, he could read something that you were feeling.

“What?” He almost spat…almost. He was getting extremely frustrated.

“Uhhh, what do you mean dating other people? We aren’t dating, Yoongi,” she concluded, crossing her hands and tilting her head.

“We’re not?” The feeling was back. That one that he felt when he thought he didn’t stand a chance with you. He knew it was too good to be true, and he let Hobi talk him into believing that you were his soulmate!

“No?”

Now he was getting mad. With a raised voice, he countered, “Hold on a second…how in hell are we not dating?” They did everything like a couple. The went on dates; they had sex; they texted; they talked about deeper things.

“Because we didn’t ever talk about it! You never asked me to be your girlfriend, so I just assumed that you wanted it to be casual.” She scratched her head like she’d never been more confused.

Yoongi couldn’t believe how much they’d not gotten straight. Clearly, the last thing he wanted was a casual relationship with you. He was all-in, and had been since he first saw you. He took a deep breath, trying not to raise his voice any longer, seeing as you were in public and in a recurring establishment. “Well, I definitely don’t want you taking other people, that’s for fuckin’ sure! I 100% haven’t seen anyone else since before my birthday. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want, but I want to be in a relationship with you.”

He hadn’t meant to swear at you, but he was trying to wrap his head around this conversation. You’d really wanted him to say the exact words, to ask to be your boyfriend. Looking back, he should have done it regardless, but instead he assumed like a dumbass.

He bit his lip as he waited for your response. You were fiddling with the pages of your textbook when he finally heard you whisper, “What’s what I want.”

Your small smile graced him, the absolute calm washing over him again.

“Good. Now tell Jackson because if anyone is taking you on a date tonight, it’s going to be me.”

“Jackson who?” You said with a glint in your eye.

• • • • • •

Later, he guessed after your first official date of your confirmed relationship, Yoongi had to voice his insecurities. Unfortunately it had to be mid-makeout on his couch. Your were on his lap, doing everything right when thoughts of doubt crossed his mind.

He pushed your shoulders back slightly, causing you to still.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, pushing his hair back from his face. He closed his eyes because he loved when you did that. You were so nurturing and always took care of him.

“Did you ever hook up with anyone?” He was nervous, and he wished he didn’t care. It was entirely his fault if you did, but he needed to know. He was torturing himself; he knew it.

“I’m going to assume that you mean other than you since your birthday…”

Yoongi nodded quickly, lightly resting his hands on your hips. Although he was sitting, he felt as it he might fall over.

You smiled and then ran a knuckle down his nose. “It’s only been you, Yoon,” you whispered in his ear, sending shivers down his spine. It was the closest he’d ever come to getting any sort of confusion of your actually liking him, and he would take it…for now.

Closing the distance between the two of you again, he knew he would never get enough of you. It was like you were made just for him.

Hobi was right.

• • • • • •

MASTERLIST

38 notes · View notes

aphspain-pure · 4 years

Text

“I’m so sick of lying. I have to tell you...”

@hetaliamondaychallenge July 27 challenge.

Category: Fanfiction.

Pair: EngSpa, UkSpa.

Words: 3.391

Genre(s): Drama, a little of suspense, Romance.

- Fuck, my head… -England grumbled, while trying to sit and wake up.

He stretched, trying to push away the terrible headache produced by the hangover –that reminded to him the extreme last night. There we go again; a horrible ache attacked his poor head again, causing him to shrink in pain. He clicked the tongue.

He couldn’t remember anything.

Suffering from the remaining alcohol in his organism, he –hardly- stood and looked around. Sighing in relief, he concluded that this was his hotel room, so at least he reached it in one piece and didn’t slept over in some ditch.

Entering the bathroom he looked to his reflection in the mirror. He looked as horrible as he actually felt inside, and was pretty obvious that he had gotten drunk until he had passed away. He sighed again, his headache intensified every time he barely tried to remember the last night.

Then, trying to figure out something, he looked to his body. He was totally naked –even if he never slept that way-, so he could possibly say he had passed the night in company. He also could say that he had gotten into some fight due to the little and dispersed wounds he could find all along his arms and torso. That didn’t surprise him; he normally picked those fights on purpose, preferably with drunken idiots like his brother Scotland, the frog or the odious deutsche.

He took a shower and rapidly got into his meeting suit in order to get prepared for the meeting that was going to be held that morning. He tried to remember something again, only to be attacked by a new wave of punctures to the head.

He gave up, and left the room.

{ . . . }

When he first landed on the building where the meeting was going to be held, he felt something estrange right away. It looked like all the eyes were on him, and like if the nations were murmuring things about him. He tried to look serious and impassive, but when he noticed the rare attitude of America, he couldn’t help but ask.

- What’s going on?

The United States froze and looked back to him, nervous. – You don’t remember?

England grumbled; frowning his famous and enormous eyebrows. – I don’t. I really don’t have a clue of what in the hell could have I done to create this atmosphere! –he suddenly sighed, and said, in a very low volume-. Tell me. Was I that bad?

Question that had a remarkable effect on the other country, that nearly started laughing.

- You were absolutely insane, man! I hadn’t seen you that way since you were a pirate and were currently drunk of whisky or Ron. –he said, giving friendly punches to the older-. Last night you were pretty aggressive and susceptible, you drove yourself mad pretty easy, too. You broke lots of glasses, bottles and wooden chairs, and even Germany, Denmark and Sweden couldn’t afford to stop you.

England massaged his temples. – That sounds hard.

Japan entered the room, and the two of them immediately greeted him. – Ohayo gosaimasu for you too, America-san, Igirisu-san. –he said back, looking right to England a moment later-. Do you feel better this morning, Igirisu-san? Last night you looked troubled by the alcohol…

Shaking his head, he slowly laughed in a professional and a bit ashamed way. – I’m sorry for showing that part of me so extremely this time, Japan. I can barely remember anything.

That last confession made Japan freeze. – You don’t remember anything?

Hearing the same question again annoyed the ached man a little. – I really don’t. What’s so bad about it? I don’t think I did nothing far from the normal. –after this statement, America sweated a bit.

- That’s… not…

- Ah, true. I got a chick this time, I can tell that far. –England expressed, and then the other two got pale. They suddenly quieted, kind of uncomfortable.

He clearly noticed that.

- ‘Cause I did found a chick, didn’t I?

The other two looked at each other with a confidential and concerned look in their eyes.

- That’s… not completely wrong, I guess. –America commented, suspicious. England started to lose his patience.

- I’ve woken up naked and with this… “satisfaction” that the body has after having a good-sex evening, you know what I mean?

Japan’s face suddenly became extra red and started steaming from the nose like a excited bull. He looked overheated and extremely shy about it, and England didn’t get a thing.

America, awkward, touched the back of his head uncomfortably laughing. – Why don’t you ask about that and the rest of the night to someone else…? –and pointing to some place, announced-. He can probably help you better.

England thought that all of that was pretty odd. And it became even odder when he followed the pointed direction and found out the depreciable frog there. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. Was it a joke? He looked again to the former direction and the other two had faded. They weren’t there, and the rest of the people in the room still looked at him and murmured, making the situation even estranger for moments.

It looked like he didn’t have a choice. If he wanted to know what was the matter, why all the people was acting so suspicious and who it was this mysterious nation he put in his bed last night, he had to go and ask France for an explanation. A grimy feat that would have to be accomplished if he wanted to know that truth he didn’t even remember.

He then leaded to the naughty Frenchie.

{ . . .}

When France felt the aggressive touch of someone on his shoulder, he actually felt the shiver that came with it. He knew who it was even before turning around.

- What can I do for you, my most appreciated neighbour? –he had said, uneasy for some reason.

- Don’t give me the stupid shit and talk. I want to hear everything.

France tried to remain calmed. – Everything about what my friend?

- Don’t act as if you knew nothing! About last night. Last N-I-G-H-T. I’m giving you five seconds to speak. –and that created the same well-known answer.

- Wait a moment. Are you seriously telling me that you don’t remember?

And that made England furious.

- That’s true, I DON’T REMEMBER! What with it!? This has happened thousands times before, I don’t get why-

- That’s the problem, mon ami. This time you’ve crossed the line.

- What?

And at that very moment, when the door opened again and a new group of nations came inside, England instinctively noticed a single one of them, as his heart stopped for a second and a vortex of memories fell upon him like an elated waterfall.

In the middle of a fight he saw a certain person and started provoking him into the fight. He succeeds. They punched and kicked each other, and verbal insults flew between them rapidly. He likes to say to him “Invincible armada” ironically while grinning, while the other calls him “eyebrow bastard” with a perfectly pronounced Spanish accent. This detail, in extreme, made him lose his control and fell and fell into his locked emotions.

His apple-like green eyes opened a little bit more, at the same time France’s voice said. – You picked up a fight with Spain on purpose. You were very drunk and started acting like the little punk pirate you were centuries ago. –and he knew, he remembered that.

And more.

More memories were coming to him.

It was him, nearly laid over Spain, who was damning in Spanish. He had always known, but he found those insults so damn hot that he couldn’t help but stare at his face, hypnotized. The dark green eyes that sparkled with the color of alcohol looked back at him and he knew he was lost. He won the fight, like years ago, but the war was dominated by the other. He was irremediably charmed by the Spaniard, like always, like ever.

Before even knowing it, he was kneeling down and leading both of the other’s hands to his lips. He then, completely serene even in his drunken position, said it.

“Marry me, Spain.”

- You did ask him to marry you, England. To another nation. In front of everyone. –France continued, clearly anxious about it-. This is pretty serious, I bet you know it very well. –he looked concerned, but serious too-. Marrying by our own is completely forbidden between us, nations. Also, this is Spain we’re talking about, you’re his archenemy. This was a shock for all of us, even if I’d known for a long time that you’re to the bone for him…

- W-what are you talking about!? T-this is… a drunken episode, that wasn’t me. I truly don’t…

- Don’t even try to justify yourself. Onii-san knows pretty well the truth.

England burned in anger, but didn’t deny anything, preferring to inquire into his memory to take out the rest.

He couldn’t. He couldn’t go on and remember the rest.

That’s why, embarrassed to the quick, looked away for a moment and lowly said. – And what?

France didn’t understand him. – “What” what? –making England more awkward.

- What did Spain… -he coughed in his hand, and looked away again-. …answer?

The French smile extended a bit, while his eyes closed and shrugged.

- He froze for a moment, and then he ran away.

- WHAT!? That’s all!?

- I personally was waiting for a slap or a kick to the gut too, but that was the only thing he did after such a confession.

- I’m killing you right know if you don’t shut up, you condemned frog-

But before feeling the freezing sensation of the English punch, France showed his bare hands and nearly screamed. – But you quickly ran after him, so I assume the party went on in another place…! -what England had already assumed. He let France go, while frowning.

- I can’t… remember.

The other crossed his arms, a few feet of security away. He commented. – If you don’t remember a thing, the other person that certainly knows what happened then is over there. –pointing that way with his chin.

And in the end of that way there he was.

Spain.

- If you want to know everything, he’s your man.

Edgy, England couldn’t help swallowing.

...

But, then, he started walking forward.

Till reaching the place in which Spain was sitting. Spain was talking to South Italy and Belgium, relaxed. He hawked in order of calling for his attention.

- Spain.

The man froze for a brief moment, and then faced him, with the same neutral face he always had around him.

- England.

England couldn’t take his gaze apart from the other’s eyes, which looked at him directly. His heart started beating at the same time his memory started functioning.

He didn’t know what to say.

He then noticed Spain looked as awful as himself –result of the hangover- and decided starting an easy conversation. – How are you? You don’t look so good. –he said.

And he immediately regret saying that when the beautiful green eyes looked away and Spain smiled with a fake smile of courtesy.

- I’m a little bit sore. You know, I’m not very used to taking it from the back, so now I’m suffering taking it that hard last night… -he said, calmed, while England’s eyes opened like plates and the new wave of memories hit him in the face.

Spain’s voice. His rudeness while kissing and throwing him into his bed. The hands that touched him and pulled his hair in ecstasy. The well-built tanned body that moved under his touch. The necessity in every word and ask from both parts, the green eyes that looked into each other before England devoured the other’s mouth with anxiety. The bruises and bite marks that he expanded all along his perfect neck. The pleasure and delight that filtrated in every part of his skin and soul. The words he had said to him in a desperate pray in his ear…

The red became the predominant colour in his face, reaching to paint his pale neck and ears too. The exploded like a steam engine, absolutely embarrassed after remembering how, after following Spain out of the party room, they screamed at each other, anger started transforming into passion, and end up making out in his hotel room.

After remembering the previous scenes with France he had thought in the possibility that Spain had been that mysterious night partner he had had, that’s true.

But having it suggested so roughly by Spain himself and, afterwards, remembering each moan and prayer, had been another history.

He stared, nearly in panic, at those pine eyes intensely. Right after, he coughed. – We were very drunk. –he only said, trying to avoid that charming gaze-. I was drunk.

Spain’s eyes momently looked shadowed. But he maintained his fake and polite smile with honour and made his response calmed. – Yeah. You truly were drunk. I know better than thinking things that cannot be.

This last statement shocked England’s awareness.

He had known this man who used to be an empire for a long, long time. He had even been, once, married to him; even if it was pathetically short and then leaded to war. So, given this situation, he knew lots of things about him; lots and lots. And one of them, very important, was that Spain hadn’t been made to be a good liar.

He acted polite every time because he had always been very controlled by his government; like at this time, when his eyes trembled with disgust and another kind of emotion while his mouth pressed calmed words out. But he also knew better than that. He could read it as clear as the water.

That’s why he extended his hand to trap Spain’s wrist.

That annoyed the other, apparently. – What do you think you’re doing? Let me go. –England didn’t settle him free, though. He, on the contrary, held him more firmly.

- I don’t want to.

What looked like annoyance suddenly became anger in the Spaniard. He nearly shouted. – What are you playing at, England? Haven’t you have enough just by getting conveniently drunk and saying what you’ve wanted? –he separated his wrist from his touch and stood up violently-. I’ve had enough of your childish game, you hear me? Go joke elsewhere!

And started walking out of the room. A déjà vu from last night.

England didn’t understand it very well, but his headache became worse when he disappeared from his sight. An uncompressible pain went through his chest too, creating a huge hole that took the breath out of his lungs.

He, then, ran after him, under the nearly funny gaze of certain Frenchman that had been observing since the beginning and the rest of the confused and uncomfortable nations.

{ . . . }

Once out, he targeted Spain at a certain distance and called out for him, screaming all kind of things that popped out in his mind.

- I’m sorry okay? I didn’t want last night’s party to become like that for any of us, I too wasn’t aiming for that, you know? –even trying to hide his sickness after that typical tsundere attitude of his-. I guess it must have been impressive to receive that kind of attentions from me being you, but don’t get a hard time, it’s only a coincidence, a bad choice! I didn’t meant it to happen and didn’t feel what it looked. A simple accident, so let’s forget it, okay!? –Spain didn’t stop.

But he did say something, with voice calm as ice.

- You’re a coward, England. –he had said, sufficiently high to let the named hear it. Then, he shouted-. I shall forget this now so, please, let me go. We’ll never talk ‘bout this again so you don’t have to worry about this… slip again. –after hearing that, England froze, even if Spain didn’t notice and went on letting the other man behind-. Are you satisfied with that? I just want this comedy to end so we can quickly go back to ignoring each other...

But England couldn’t hear anymore.

It’s true. He was a coward.

He had known since ever. Even it was clear for people like the tedious frog. He was simply afraid; afraid of letting the truth out, of saying what he really thought and freely feeling what he actually felt. Afraid of saying sober the overwhelming truths that he could only afford to let out while drunk. Afraid of doing at the daylight what he only had managed to perform under the cover of the night. Afraid of opening his heart and feeling alive once and for all.

Afraid of being rejected.

And now, while being actually rejected thanks to being a coward, he wasn’t, for the first time in his long lifetime, frightened of being audacious.

He started taking a step forward, and then a second one, and then he started running for the nearly lost target. While running towards him, he cried out for him to notice.

For him to listen what he had to say.

- I’ve always been proud of my eloquent chat and talent for making convoluted conversations; I bet you know it pretty well! But now … I’m going to let that apart to openly and frankly say what I want. I’m so sick of lying…! I have to tell you… -and stopped, leading his hand to his chest firm and gloriously.

- I love you! –he shouted, in the middle of the corridors, his voice hard and decided as thunder-. You hear me? I’m absolutely in love with you!! Since ever! What I did to you last night was my inner me expressing what my coward self couldn’t. –at some point, Spain had stopped and was standing still without facing him. But England didn’t care anymore. He started walking-. I can’t deny it anymore, I’m crazy about you! It’s all clear now. And I would love repeating what we did yesterday again and again, but totally conscious this time!

Stepping way closer, he even dared to scream. – And I know you love me too!

That made the teared up man to turn around and face him. – How can you be so shamele-…!

- Now that I’m saying everything that’s been hidden from the world I don’t pretend to maintain polite. You love me. As well as I do. You can’t negate it because, even if you try to convince me, your eyes always betray you. You’re enamoured.

- So what! –he suddenly broke-. You like playing with me? We’re old enough to know that this isn’t anything but a play. A tragicomedy!

- Marry me, Spain.

So green eyes paused.

Spain’s shock wasn’t as yesterday’s but, anyways, he did maintain quiet for a while.

Then, he said. – You must be kidding.

- I am not. –England replied.

- I don’t believe you.

- A great decision, I must admit.

- God will certainly not accept this.

- I’ve always been kind of heretic, anyway.

- You think you’re witty, isn’t it?

- I usually like to think it, to be sincere.

- Oh, just shut up! You put me on my nerves with so much paraphernalia! –he said, and directly looked at England-. Do you love or not?

A pretty rare smile crossed the English face like a phantom. – I’m suddenly not ashamed of saying it out loud, my lord. I do. I love you thousands. –and Spain rolled eyes.

- Quit the roleplay and kiss me then, you silly brat! –he complained, blushing for moments-. You’ve taken your time to admit it.

Getting close, blushing the same amount, England couldn’t do anything but complain in a non-sincere way. – C-could you stop with that? I could reconsider it if you-

A hand getting his way all along his nape and a pair of lips closing against his made him finally shut up.

Then, he melt while his arms passed through the waist and back of the other man there, who couldn’t help but murmur Spanish words against his lips that made England’s heart beat faster.

He had been sick this morning. Sick thanks to the alcohol in his veins, and later sick of lying.

He was now getting sick again.

Absolutely lovesick.

#hetaliamondaychallenge #spuk #engspa #ukspa #aph spain #aph england #aph france #aph america #aph japan #yaoi #hetalia

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stories-by-rie · 3 years

Note

1, 16, 20!

Thank you!

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

I’ve just started again working on In the Land of Twilight and I am so excited about it! It’s a high fantasy adventure about a group of very different characters coming together to find a day-witch who may grant them their wishes. So far I am 6k into the new first draft and I think it’s going really well! I mostly love the witches and sentient forests. Especially the witches. The whole novel’s aesthetic is to be very close to childhood nostalgia so I think they’re somewhat classy with some of my own twists on them. Deucate is one of the protagonists and a night-witch (which means her magic only turns out well if she does it for herself, if she tries to do magic for others it’ll turn out bad!) and she’s linked to owls, so I’m giving her a lot of owl specific characteristics. I could write so much more about my witches but I will stop now ^^

2. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

In the Land of Twilight is very different, yes! The whole story is targeted to a younger audience, the magic system and style of it is very soft, and the POV is omniscient. This is very different for me and from all my other WIPs. It’s a little bit difficult for me sometimes, especially to get the tone right, and the scary bits not too scary, but I have much fun writing it!

3. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Ah, so hard to decide ^^ I have put a great amount of symbolism and callbacks into The Assassination Project, but it’s all very foreshadow-y and linked to spoilers, so I will talk about Invincible instead where there’s also some of it.

I really like Jeanne and Ahn’s character developments. They both start at their respective point As, progress, meet in the middle, and then grow farther apart again. Jeanne, who could is seen as a villain but starts out as a hero and turns darker until she is fully fallen into villainy. Ahn, who is seen as a hero but is more a villain in the beginning learns courage along the way and embraces her heroism. I wanted this to be some sort of chiasmus on character arc level ^^

Their arcs are also accompanied by callback lines! In the beginning, Jeanne asks Ahn to help her should she fall to villainy, at their meeting point Ahn mentions this again but fails to help, until, in the end, she makes good on the old promise.

#byjillianmaria #ask #ask game #wip; in the land of twilight #wip; invincible #this got so long weeee

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emma-nation · 4 years

Text

Within You - Bloodbound AU - Chapter 10

Summary: One year after defeating Gaius, the gang has finally found peace… Until a tragic incident awakens the ultimate and most dangerous threat they ever faced.

Genre: Angst/Adventure/Romance

Rating: T - Warning for violence and language

Notes:

- Sequel to the fics For You, In The Daylight and Without You. You can read all of them here.

- This chapter is my baby and I’m really proud of it. I hope you like it too!

- I probably won’t be around for the next few days (for BB finale included), so please forgive me if I take too long to post Chapter 11.

- My fellow writers: stay home writing your awesome fics.

- Dear readers: stay home reading and leaving your lovely reviews. We love you. Stay safe!

Tag List: @supersphynxsworld, @lightning-fury, @spacecarrousel, @tigerbryn11, @gavryllo, @annabellewerecorgi, @whoinvitedalx, @sheyah, @imnotdonewiththeelementalists, @scaryqueenbee, @bigmemesplz, @la-guerra-69, @kamilahsayeed-owns-me, @morvengarde, @tephy24, @iam-the-fuckin-queen, @voltos9, @scorpichoices, @leavemeandmyshipsalone, @jen825, @andreear17, @justejuste727, @aureliaxj, @graceschoices, @mrskamilxh, @msuhailey, @zoe6111, @noodledragon22, @tigerbryn11, @shanuuh, @ilovetaylorswiftforever7, @ilovekamilahsayeed, @allaboutchoices , @fal-carrington , @scarlet-letter-a0114, @trouble-with-the-curve

Kamilah

In her office, Kamilah tried one last time to dial her brother’s number. Voice mail again. She rolled her eyes.

“Until when are you going to ignore me?” She sighed.

She remembered their last conversation, a few days earlier. It was late night, he knocked her penthouse’s door repeatedly. When Kamilah opened it, Lysimachus was pale as a ghost. His heart was racing inside his chest and his breath shallow and quick, indicating he was in great distress.

“It’s her, Kamilah,” he told, when she forced him to sit down and calm himself. “Rheya’s the First.”

“Brother, she just left my place,” she argued. “I invited her for dinner. I tested her through the day. There’s no evidence…”

“She confessed, Kamilah! Right in my face. She’s not who you think she is, okay? She set up that whole situation with Priya. She threatened to kill Katherine… and me!”

Kamilah sat down and looked deeply into his brother eyes. They never lied to each other. And he was scared, truly scared. In truth, she had never seen Lysimachus so frightened before.

“Brother, I…” she grabbed his hand, unsure of what to say to comfort him. Unsure of what to think. “I’m so confused.”

“Why don’t you believe me?” He seemed hurt. Truly hurt. And especially obsessed to find a manner to defeat the First Vampire.

In the next morning, Adrian called her. An emergency. A vial containing a blood sample from the Tree Of Eternal Life had disappeared from the laboratory. They searched all over the city, in every place it could be. They conducted searches at Priya’s mansion and club, Lester’s businesses and even among their own Clan members. There was no sign of the blood.

Until Kamilah found it by accident, inside the secret weapon storage in her brother’s apartment. Lysimachus swore, once again, that it was Rheya’s doing. But all evidence lead to him. His old card was used to access the safest areas in the laboratory. The employees also remembered seeing him there during the night. The footage from the security cameras had been purposely erased. Everything pointed to one direction, he planned to ingest the blood to become more powerful.

An emergency voting decided it would be better if he was temporarily out of The Council.

“I know you’re going through a lot of stress,” Kamilah told him. “I’m not saying I don’t believe you, but I’m also not saying I am. Just, stay in New Orleans for a few days. Clear your mind a bit.”

“Not even you… my fucking twin sister!” Lysimachus punched a hole in the wall. “You’ll all regret what you’re doing, and especially who you’re trusting. She’s manipulating each one of you!”

Coming back to reality, somebody was waiting for her at the door. Rheya. All those days, Kamilah was monitoring her closely. There wasn’t a single part of her that indicated danger.

“Kamilah?” She asked. “Is everything okay?”

“Absolutely,” Kamilah answered. “Personal issues. And you? Anything I can help with?”

“Actually, I’ve seen something that concerned me. I’ve been receiving threats and I believe they’re coming from the Order Of Dawn. I think they could be coming for me.”

She showed Kamilah some strange messages she received and pictures she took of strangers observing her out of the window.

“Don’t worry,” she assured. “We’ll investigate and grant you some protection.”

“Really?” Her eyes filled with tears and she started to cry. “Sometimes I think it’d be better if I returned to Europe. I never wanted to cause you trouble.”

“Rheya, no…”

Kamilah felt extremely bad for her. She quickly called Adrian and some of her Clan members to patrol the city and make sure no Order soldiers were walking around New York.

———-

Lysimachus

Angry, Lysimachus trained alone with a punching bag in his apartment in New Orleans. As soon as he arrived, Garrus checked his mind. Rheya’s presence was beginning to take over the place. With his Fae magic, he was able to remove it. But it was too late, everyone at The Council was convinced he was guilty.

He had to find a manner to stop Rheya by himself. She should have at least one weakness. She wasn’t invincible. Nothing could be. In nature, everything had a balance. An opposite.

“Wow,” a female voice said behind him, “someone’s mad.”

“Katherine,” he turned around, wiping off the sweat from his face with a towel. “Do you know how to kill a bitch?”

“Stake her. Or set her on fire. Assuming you’re talking about the Queen Bitch, Priya Lacroix.”

“Not actually. I’m talking about the First Vampire.”

“Is she truly real?” Her eyes went wide in surprise.

“Why do you think I’m back here?” Lysimachus told. “She caused that situation with Priya and found a manner to put everyone against me, when I discovered her identity.”

“Oh boy, you’re in serious trouble.”

“I know.”

After he showered, they walked around the streets of New Orleans while he informed her about the whole story. Since the Tree Of Eternal Life, the creation of Gaius and Xenocrates to the First Vampire’s return, using of Amy’s death.

“Why Amy?” Katherine wanted to know.

“According to this creepy British cult, she’s her descendant,” Lysimachus told. “And also a Bloodkeeper. What in my opinion, is the major sign of their connection. Their powers seem to be very similar.”

“Have you told all of that to your sister?”

He let out a chuckle.

“Who says she believes me? If Rheya asks her company, she’d probably give her everything in a second. She trusts her with her eyes closed.”

They stopped by the Graveyard Shift for a drink. Nik and Cal joined them and became part of the conversation. None of them had any ideas of what in this world could kill a legendary vampire.

“What do you think her plans are?” Nik asked. “She seems harmless so far.”

“She’s playing cautiously,” Lysimachus told. “Slowly involving and seducing everyone into her game. Soon they will bend to her will or meet a terrible fate. But her main interest… I think she wants Amy. For some purpose.”

“If she’s truly a queen,” Cal commented. “Amy would be her princess. Isn’t it obvious? She wants to share her legacy.”

“A legacy of blood and destruction,” Katherine added. “After that, she’ll probably eradicate the human kind.”

They all stared at each other in silence. None of them had a suggestion that could help.

“Let’s drink while we still can,” Nik suggested.

After he order at the bar, Ivy approached the table bringing their drinks and heard the conversation.

“Well well, a conversation about a legendary bloody creature. My favorite subject.”

“It wouldn’t be, if you met her,” Lysimachus showed them a picture of Rheya on his phone. “Ladies and gentlemen, the real face of evil. Rheya Apostolous.”

“Legendary. Bloody. And hot,” Ivy grinned.

“No wonder why your friends are getting into her so easily,” Cal joked.

“Come on, guys. Yes, she’s gorgeous. But she want all of us dead or kissing her feet. Would you mind helping me to come up with a plan? Something that could end her for good? There must be something. A balance nature created to stop her.”

Ivy was pensive for a moment before speaking:

“Meet me at the library tonight. I think I’ve got something we can do.”

“Does it involve the dead?” Lysimachus rolled his eyes, wondering how many ghosts he’d have to capture. “Or necromancy of any sorts?”

“Yes. I was thinking about… a Ouija board. But better.”

“Here we go again,” Katherine looked at him and sighed.

———-

Amy

As a form to protect Rheya, Kamilah requested Amy to follow her to all places. She was more than glad to help, after all she and the Greek vampire had an immense connection.

“So, Amy. How is it going with your psychic powers?” Rheya asked while they were working out together at the private gym in her building.

“I feel great,” she smiled. “Everyday I gain more and more control over them.”

“You not only can enter people’s minds, but you can make them actually experience the memories, is that correct?”

Rheya’s expression suddenly changed. She stopped with her exercises, looking sad, nostalgic.

“Yes. What’s wrong?” Confused, Amy stopped too. She lead Rheya to the nearest bench.

“Would you mind… showing me my family again? It’s been so long. Time is cruel. It has erased my husband’s voice from my memories or the scent of my little daughter’s hair. I miss them everyday and… I can’t barely remember their faces.”

“Of course.”

Amy grabbed her hands, focusing on the depths of her mind. Suddenly she could see both of them standing in an ancient throne room, where Rheya was in company of a man and a little girl.

“At least now I have the evening free to have dinner with you and Iola,” she smiled. “My two loves.”

“Mama, I want to see your fangs again!” Iola asked.

“They’re nothing special…“

“They are! I want fangs like you, Mama!”

“My darling… No, Iola. These are just for me, do you understand?”

Watching the scene, Amy couldn’t avoid feeling emotional. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes. For some reason she felt attached to those people. Maybe because of the tragedy she knew that would later separate them. Or even because it made her think of her own family.

When they returned, Rheya’s eyes were teary but she had a smile on her face.

“Thank you so much, Amy,” she hugged her tightly. “It was so good to see my Iola again. Actually… you remind me a lot of her.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, since young age she was exactly like you. Adventurous, fierce and she had a great sense of humor.”

At the same time Amy felt sadness hearing those words, it also caused her unexplainable joy.

“I’m sorry she was taken from you,” Amy lamented.

“Don’t be,” Rheya touched her cheek fondly. “Sometimes life takes something away from you… but it grants you something else in return. Sooner or later.”

Amy went home and showered, but the scene she experienced with Rheya wouldn’t leave her thoughts. Especially her daughter. They seemed to be so close, so affectionate to each other.

That vision triggered inside Amy an intense desire of having a family on her own too. She imagined having a daughter with Kamilah. She’d give her little girl everything her mother didn’t provide her while growing up. She not only would be her parent, but her best friend. They’d share good memories and start adventures together.

She texted Kamilah, asking her to go home as soon as possible. After lunch she was impatiently waiting for her wife. As Amy sat down on the couch, their kitten, Beruthiel, quickly jumped on her lap.

In the first days, Kamilah was reluctant about getting attached to their new pet, considering how short their life-span could be compared to theirs. Now, everyday she’d come home with a new gift for Beruthiel. She was literally treating her like a princess.

They could form a beautiful little family. She, Kamilah, their cat and a baby.

“Hey,” her wife entered the penthouse, “is everything okay? You said you needed to see me.”

“Yes,” Amy wrapped her arms around Kamilah’s neck. “I’ve scheduled a visit to Raines Corporation. You know, only to check how his research is progressing.”

“Oh, what research?”

“The one we can have a baby.”

“Only to check, huh?” Kamilah’s raised eyebrow suggested she already knew what Amy had in mind.

“And get informed on how it would work.”

“Amy…” Kamilah sighed. “I’m okay with adopting a cat but… we’re not in a good moment to consider having children.”

“Why?” Amy wanted to know. “We’re married, with a stable life, I’ve got perfect control of my powers. I see no reason to postpone it.”

“She’s out there. The First Vampire.”

“Kamilah, please… I even stopped having those creepy visions. She’s gone for good.”

“She’s not,” Kamilah’s expression was serious and certain. “I sensed her presence the other day. She could be the one who manipulated Priya’s mind and yours. And besides, there’s also the possibility the Order soldiers could be out there, getting ready to strike.”

“So…” Amy threw herself on the couch, biting her lower lip. “Didn’t you have to discuss this Order issues with Adrian? I could come with you.”

Kamilah stared at her in silence again. Her face suggested she wasn’t thrilled about the idea.

“It’s not the right moment, Amy. It’s not like we’re buying a new video game, it’s a life we’re talking about. I’m not bringing a child to this world, knowing they could be in danger.”

“It will never be good moment right? I mean, you said countless times you never wanted to be a mother and that you can’t stand children.”

Amy stood up from the couch, storming to the front door. She knew it was only another excuse. Kamilah would never give her what she wanted the most. She felt extremely upset and frustrated.

“Amy…” Kamilah interrupted her. “Can we talk about this?”

“No,” she responded, coldly and ironic. “It’s not the right moment.”

Alone, she took her car and drove directly to Raines Corporation. If Kamilah didn’t want to be part of this decision, she’d do it by herself. And in the end, if she still couldn’t accept it… maybe she didn’t love her as much as she thought.

———-

Lysimachus

After midnight, Lysimachus and Katherine followed to Ivy’s library. Trusting her was never the smartest or safest idea, but it was the only option he had at the moment.

The library was completely dark, until the very end of the building, where Ivy had prepared a magical seal on the floor, surrounded by candles.

“For heaven’s sake, what is that?” Katherine asked. “Please tell me you’re not planning to take him to the Realm of Death.”

“I considered it,” Ivy said. “But it was too risky, especially because he’s… biologically dead? So I decided to bring the dead to our world instead.”

“Wait,” Lysimachus interrupted. “Who are you planning to summon from the dead?

“The Two Sons. Xenocrates and Gaius.”

Only that name alone brought shivers to Lysimachus body. He hated that man with every fiber of his body being. If one thing he was sure, was that he never wanted to see Gaius again. Not even in spirit.

“Bring Xenocrates. Let Gaius trapped in hell, where it’s his place.”

“Okay, I’ll need to perform a ritual. Mind giving me some privacy?”

“Of course.”

Lysimachus walked to an armchair where he sat down. Katherine followed him. He buried his head in his hands, wondering what could even happen if that ritual went wrong and for some reason Gaius escaped the Realm Of Death and returned to life. By the side of his beloved Goddess, they’d rule the world, exterminating the human kind.

“Hey,” Katherine touched his shoulder, “what’s wrong? You’re shaking.”

“Gaius,” he confessed. “Only the mention of his name it… it drives me crazy. Have you ever hated someone so badly it consumes you, changes you?”

“Yeah, not someone. Something. A monster.”

“He Turned me, against my will. Besides keeping me separated from my sister from centuries. I can help thinking everything he caused in her life was a revenge against me. Even if he’s dead… the part of me he took away is never returning.”

“I can relate. That monster… it took the most precious thing I’ve ever had. And I will never be the same again. Even if I try. Part of me also died that day.”

“Katherine…” Lysimachus looked into her eyes. For the first time she looked open, vulnerable. “You never told me…”

“I usually don’t,” Katherine shrugged, fighting off her emotions. “I think I’m really starting to trust you.”

“Well, that’s a good thing.”

“Not for me.”

They both shared a laugh, when Ivy’s voice called them back. It was time to summon Xenocrates’ spirit. Ivy was voicing some words in an ancient language when the flames from the candles exploded and intensified, almost blinding them with the light.

As Lysimachus opened his eyes again, Xenocrates’ form was standing in the middle of the seal.

“What did you call me here for?” He snarled. "A man can’t even be dead, without being bothered by abominations like you?“

"We need answers,” Lysimachus approached. “About Rheya. You were her First Son, you must know how to end her for good.”

“And why do you think I’d help you? Especially, when you were all responsible for setting her free.”

“They didn’t,” Katherine intervened. “They didn’t set her free. They were only studying the blood, for good purposes.”

“It had nothing to do with the blood. It was… something else.”

“What was it?” Lysimachus asked, intrigued. “We didn’t know. And now, she has started to cause trouble. I need to stop her before the damage spreads.”

“I don’t know what brought Rheya back, otherwise I’d have prevented it,” Xenocrates told. “But if you want to stop her you’ll need to go after her husband, Demetrius. His blood is the only thing that can stop her.”

“Isn’t he dead?”

“Sort of. Rheya attempted to Turn him when he was murdered but it was too late. Her blood transformed him into something dark, without a conscience. A monster.”

“The First Feral,” Katherine concluded.

“His presence brought death to everything around him, including Rheya herself,” Xenocrates continued. “She was weakened by his darkness. So she sent him away.”

“And where is he now?” Lysimachus wanted to know.

“In the Island of Death, somewhere in South Pacific.”

“I’ll find him.”

“You will,” Xenocrates let out a sarcastic laugh. “But you won’t make it back home. The Island will drain all your life before you even get to him.”

“So what do I have to do?”

“My time here is over.”

“No! Wait!”

A strong wind filled the room, lighting off all the candles and the First Son disappeared.

“So what do we do now?” Katherine wondered. “How will we get to the Island?”

“I don’t know,” Lysimachus sighed, frustrated. “He said it drains the life of any living being that approaches it.”

“But he didn’t say anything about a undead being, did he?” Ivy suggested.

———-

Kamilah

In the beginning of the night, Kamilah went to Raines Corporation to meet Adrian and find out if he had any news about a possible invasion of the Order Of Dawn in New York. Amy wasn’t picking up her calls, but she found out she was at the Shadow Den with Lily. Apparently they invited Rheya for a girl’s night.

“Please, tell me she didn’t convince you to impregnate her,” Kamilah took a sip of the whiskey Adrian served her. “I know her, Adrian. She does that puppy dog eyes that make you unable to say no.”

“She didn’t,” Adrian let out a small laugh. “I showed her the research, but explained it’s still a work in progress. And I’d need your DNA too.”

“Good. How would it work anyways?”

“It’s a serum. First, you both must sign a contract. I’ll mix Amy’s DNA to yours and add the blood from the Tree. The three elements together will generate a new life. A new being.”

“Just like that?”

“Not really,” Adrian explained. “After I inject it on Amy’s body or yours, you will have to… conceive the baby, if you know what I mean. Like a regular pregnancy.”

“I see.”

Kamilah swallowed the entire glass of whiskey in one sip, trying to get rid of the stress the thought of being a mother caused her.

“What’s the deal, Kamilah?” Adrian asked, noticing her silence.

“I’m not ready, Adrian,” Kamilah sighed and confessed. “And I don’t think I’ll ever be! I’m 2065 years old. I’ve killed people and burned cities to the ground. How can I become a mother? How am I supposed to raise a child?”

“We’re never ready, but when the moment comes, it’s just magical. You’ll learn to be a mom, Kamilah. Together with Amy.”

She noticed how distant and nostalgic Adrian looked after that talk. It probably reminded him of his son, Charles.

“We’ve adopted a cat recently,” Kamilah changed the subject. “Her name is…”

She couldn’t get used to that name. Something Amy and Lily picked out from one of their geeky obsessions.

“Beruthiel. I heard about her,” a smile returned to Adrian’s face. “I was also told you’ve been using your penthouse security system to observe her when you’re absent. And that you’ve bought her like 10 different collars in a week.”

She only rolled her eyes in response and walked to the window. Kamilah started remembering Amy’s behavior that afternoon. ‘No. It’s not the right moment’. Those words were said with the same coldness and rage as when she was under the First Vampire’s influence, before her Turning. She was about to express her concerns about her dark presence inhabiting Amy’s body, when the emergency alarm of Raines Corporartion started echoing through the entire building.

“What is that?” Kamilah asked, confused.

“I don’t know,” Adrian ran to his computer. “But it doesn’t sound good.”

From the security cameras, they observed as a small group dressed in white marched into the building, inspecting every corner. Searching for something specific. Their clothes and weapons had a military look, like they were soldiers of some kind. Kamilah recognized immediately who they were.

“The Order Of Dawn,” she concluded. “What do we do?”

“I don’t know,” Adrian was completely enraged. “But I won’t be standing here and watch them kill my employees.”

Kamilah followed him outside the office, with her daggers in hand. The Order Of Dawn was known for their skilled and ruthless hunters, who would kill everyone that stood in the way of their mission, humans or vampires.

“They’re at the labs,” Adrian whispered, watching the security cameras from his cell phone. “They’re… torturing them.”

Kamilah glanced at the screen, observing the soldiers holding a blade against one of the scientists’ neck. Adrian hands were shaking in anger. His eyes were dark and distant. She knew it was useless to try to calm him down at this stage.

“Look,” Kamilah pointed. “Two of them are guarding the main hall. We can ambush them and steal their outfits. It’ll make it easier for us to get the rest of them.”

“Good plan.”

They followed to the main hall through the emergency staircase, avoiding to make any noise. Arriving at the company’s entrance, they waited for the right moment to strike. Moving silent and stealth, Kamilah took down one guard while Adrian took the other.

After wearing their uniforms, Adrian checked the cameras one last time. They weren’t in a large group, only 7 soldiers, he counted. He and Kamilah proceeded with their plan, entering the laboratories disguised as members of the Order Of Dawn.

“What are you two doing here?” One of them asked, as he saw them. “You were supposed to guard the door. Raines could be arriving at any minute.”

“He won’t, Kamilah told, approaching the group, ready to draw her daggers.

"How can you be so sure?!”

“Because…” Adrian grabbed the soldier’s neck, breaking it instantly. “He’s right here.”

The remaining soldiers pulled their weapons and circled them.

“There’s six now,” Kamilah looked at Adrian. “Three for each?”

He nodded in agreement.

Kamilah’s soldiers attacked her with their UV flashlights. She looked at them for a second, before rolling her eyes.

“It seems like you haven’t received the latest updates,” she threw one of her daggers right into a soldier’s chest. “UV light doesn’t do a damn thing on me!”

Using her advanced speed, Kamilah dodged their crossbows and retrieved back her dagger. From behind, she stabbed both of them at the same time. She looked at Adrian, holding in his hands the hearts of two of his soldiers, while chasing the last of them. Kamilah streaked in his direction, daggers in hands, going straight for his neck.

“It’s over,” she said as he dropped dead on the floor.

After checking his employees, Adrian offered Kamilah drank some stored blood to recover strength and heal any minor injuries.

Kamilah’s cell phone started ringing. It was Priya.

“I know you hate me. But sending the Order Of Dawn to my club was a slut move, Kamilah!”

“What? Are they in there too?” She shared a concerned look with Adrian.

“Of course…” by the sound, Priya stopped to shoot the soldiers with a gun. “Otherwise, why would I even call you? ”

“I… I’ll send some reinforcement.”

“Those were one of my favorite shoes!” The fashion designer yelled. Panicked screams were heard in the background.

“Priya?!”

“There’s no need, I think I killed all of them. Wait…” she fired the gun again. “Yes, now I did.”

Adrian was also on his phone. The Order also attacked Lester’s business. With the help of his Clan, he managed to get rid of them.

“Leave one of them alive,” Adrian ordered. “Bring him for an interrogation tomorrow.”

He hung up. Both of their phones buzzed at the same time with texts from several vampires of Jax’s clan. The Shadow Den was under attack, by the largest group of soldiers seem in New York so far.

“Oh no.”

“We have to go,” Kamilah rushed, headed to her car. “Amy is in danger.”

———-

Amy

“Another fight?!” Lily questioned, while Amy finished putting on some make-up. Rheya would arrive soon and they’d introduce her to the life in the Shadow Den. “And because you want to have children?!”

“Yes,” Amy answered. “I just feel ready for the next step. I want to start a family with Kamilah.”

“Amy, I’m sorry but it doesn’t sound like you. I mean, you guys have been married for only a year. A lot can change.”

“What are you suggesting? Nothing is changing between us.”

“You’re a vampire now,” Lily told. “There’s so much you may want to experience. You’ll have the eternity to be a mother.”

“Being married to Kamilah, I’ve already experienced a lot,” Amy argued. “We’ve traveled to so many places, she introduced me to a lot of new things, we’ve grown up as couple… it seems like the right moment.”

“Well, that’s your decision to make. But make sure you’re not using it only to mask your past traumas.”

Amy did have a family-related trauma. She always felt abandoned, rejected by her mom. Ofter she’d seek for affection in her friend’s families. The conflicts between them only got worse when she became a teenager. In many occasions, she made her mom cry. Which was enough for her to decided the should follow different paths.

Now she had built her own life away from her hometown. She had a great job, a loving wife and she finally got answers about her mother’s behavior and her origins. In truth, she was starting to understand and even forgive her.

Having a baby with Kamilah had little to do with that. Part of her didn’t want children before because she wasn’t sure she’d be able to be a good mother, based on her own experiences. Now she wanted to break that cycle. She wanted to fix things with her mom, and at the same time, have the motherhood experience herself.

“Hello,” for some reason Rheya was already standing in the living room. “You didn’t hear me knocking, the door was opened so I entered. I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”

“Not at all!” Amy smiled, dismissing her thoughts. “We were waiting for you. By the way, that’s Lily. My best friend.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Lily extended her hand. “Very nice.”

“It’s my pleasure, darling. Amy talks about you all the time.”

Amy checked her watch. It was almost time for Liv’s new show to start. Both of her friends had engaged in a conversation. Lily seemed to be nervous around Rheya, panicking and stuttering. She shook her head in denial.

“Hey, you two,” she called. “Let’s go!”

First, they gave Rheya a tour of the Shadow Den. She was impressed by the place, checking all the stores and attractions the community had to offer.

“This place is amazing. A mass of vampires, rejected by The Council, build all of this? Without any support?”

“They did,” Lily told. “We made some improvements and redesigned after we were recognized as a Clan by The Council.”

“And there…” Amy pointed to the male vampire coming in their direction, “is the man behind most of it, Jax Matsuo.”

“Hey,” Jax joined them, briefly nodding at Rheya. “What are you girls up to?”

“We’re headed to Liv’s new show, but before we’re showing Rheya around.”

“Rheya, huh? I remember seeing you at the Tribunal. You saved Priya’s ass.”

“Jax,” Rheya looked deeply into his eyes and grabbed one of his hands. “Your bravery, your strength is like no other. Building this place, protecting your people, fighting for your rights… it’s inspiring. You have my admiration.”

“Whoa,” Jax’s cheeks turned a little pink. “Thank you, but I had help of my Clan members. We were all part of this.”

“I… I…” Lily made some effort to insert herself in the conversation. “I created the Fangbook. A social network for vampires.”

Rheya grinned and grabbed her hand too.

“This is also amazing, darling. An online gathering of all vampires in the world. Your knowledge can serve for greater purposes. You can achieve great things. Never doubt your potential.”

“T-Thank you.”

Amy laughed and patted her best friend’s shoulder.

Together they followed to Liv’s cabaret, finding their reserved seats in the front row. That was the debut of a show she long planned, back when she still a mortal. She looked unusually happy that night.

“This place is crowded,” Amy told Jax, before the lights went out.

“I know, right?” He said. “It’s good to finally see a smile on her face.”

A dancing number started on the stage, Amy was very focused. The music was hypnotizing. She and Lily started to move their bodies in sync to the rhythm.

“Come on, Jax,” Amy shouted. “Join us.”

“In a moment,” he looked serious at his cell phone screen. “There’s something wrong in the tunnels.”

Jax didn’t have any time to leave, as soon as he got up a group of soldiers dressed in white burst through the doors. Amy recognized them from Greece.

“The Order Of Dawn.”

“Everyone take cover!” Jax yelled, as they started to aim and shoot their crossbows at the vampires in the cabaret.

Amy stood frozen in the middle of the commotion, her eyes registering the scene all around her. Vampires attempted to run, or even to protect themselves, only to suffer cruel and painful deaths. There was a lot of screaming and crying, while the Order Of Dawn chanted:

”The Order does not yield. The Order does not sleep. The Order shows no mercy… and leaves no survivors.”

She tried to locate Rheya and Lily but they were nowhere to be seen. A tightness on her chest started to suffocate her.

“Amy!” Jax pulled her out of the way, to prevent an attack with UV light. Considering the desperation of the moment, he probably had forgotten it didn’t affect her.

“Jax,” she returned to her conscience. However, when she looked at the male vampire on the ground he wasn’t moving. His chest had a big burning wound. Tears stated to fill her eyes as she touched it. No vampire would survive an injury of that extent. “Jax, please…”

“Die,” an Order soldier appeared in front of her, with a crossbow aimed to her chest. She fired. Amy stopped the stake midway with her psychic powers.

Looking around, she could see piles of ash all around the club, along with severely hurt vampires, struggling to stay alive. Rage started to consume her. She felt her eyes burning in pure anger.

With a grin on her face, she sent the stake back in the soldier’s direction. Hitting her right in the middle of her eyes.

“What is that?” A group of soldiers came in her direction, as their member’s lifeless body fell on the ground.

Amy could feel their hearts beating. The blood flowing inside their veins. They had no idea what she could do. They had no idea of what she could become. She had the urge to kill them. All of them. She focused, gathering all her power.

“Kill her,” their leader ordered. She jerked her hand, sending all of them flying. The heavy impact against the wall crushed every bone inside their fragile human bodies.

More soldiers came in her direction. She leaped forward. With fangs drawn, she went directly to their throats. Her hands also fought, tearing into some soldiers’ chests and ripping off their hearts.

“Monster! Monster!” They started to retreat and runaway scared.

Amy couldn’t let them get away. Not after what they had done. They deserved no second chances. Only death. By the time they reached the door, she appeared in front of them.

“Leave… no… survivors!” She yelled, mocking their chant. Her hands were engulfed by fire and she send blasts in their direction. She stood and watched while it consumed their bodies.

As they silenced, she closed her eyes. She could sense a couple of human heartbeats coming from behind the bar. Taking Jax’s katana, she slowly walked to them. They barely had any time to scream. The blood spraying from their slit throats soaked her skin and her clothes. She fed herself some of it, before going back to Jax unconscious body.

She kneeled right beside him, placing her hands over the wound. And that’s the last thing she did, before collapsing in exhaustion.

#bloodbound #kamilah sayeed #kamilah x mc #playchoices #choices stories you play #bloodbound fanfiction #within you #hoping it works this time

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knifeonmars · 4 years

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Capsule Reviews - May 2020 - The Cape Stuff

I read a lot of comics in May. Here’s what I thought of some of the superhero and superhero-adjacent comics I read.

Arms of the Octopus

A nostalgia pick, the collection of several annual issues containing a crossover between Superior Spider-Man, The Invincible Hulk, and the All-New X-Men. It is an artifact of a very specific and bizarre time in Marvel Comics, when Doc Ock was Spider-Man, the Hulk worked for SHIELD, and the original five teen X-Men were stranded in their own future. For a pure, relatively straightforward crossover romp, it's quite enjoyable. Spider-Man is a jerk, the Hulk fights a robot, the X-Men are befuddled by the present, all of the major beats for that particular moment in the Marvel Universe are there, and it's got some really great art. Jake Wyatt, during his regrettably short-lived stint with Marvel and the great Kris Anka unfortunately overshadow the other contributors, but it's all very good, if not the most accessible comic.

Maxwell's Demons

I came to Maxwell's Demons having heard a lot of critical buzz and with my expectations set rather high. I did not care for this book at all. Ambitious is the best word for this series, and that's not a bad thing. It's got ideas, about the craft, about the genre, about philosophy in general. It never quite manages to carry things off though; it's not as smart as it wants to be, and the high-minded ideas are never incorporated in particularly elegant ways. Three of the story's five chapters are essentially extended monologues in which the main character rambles on about some glorified shower thought for 20-plus pages. The first and second chapters are the exceptions to this pattern, and are quite solid as far as pointedly derivative superhero riffs go, even if the second chapter's riff on "What if Miracleman #17 was significantly less intelligent" is more than a little shameless in its lack of originality. The fourth chapter, by contrast, is the nadir of the series, easily the most embarrassing Manic Pixie Dream Girl tripe I've seen played straight in literal years. I'm reminded a lot of Translucid, another superhero pastiche, which essentially sought to do for Batman what Maxwell's Demons seeks to do for Lex Luthor. I warmed to Translucid significantly on my second read and I wonder if the same will end up being true for Maxwell's Demons, but I find that Translucid simply did a better job of incorporating original ideas and stating its themes in ways less stupefyingly clunky than Maxwell's Demon's ever manages. I hate to call a book pretentious, especially an ambitious one, but at present that's how I feel about this book.

Twilight

Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and Howard Chaykin's Watchmen-for-mid-century-space-heroes epic. It's good. Fabulous art, some really interesting ideas and a great premise. It's also more than a little Chaykin-y, with most of the male characters having fraught but amiable relationships with their much-too-good-for-them-and-they-both-know-it ex-wives. It has this particular brand of low grade misogyny that idealizes women but in doing so denies them interiority and, ultimately, humanity. Leaving that aside, though it is a major point to leave aside, it’s story of humanity rotting over eons of immortality, mad space gods, and humanity’s proclivity towards colonialism and genocide, it's great. It’s not an altogether pleasant book, it can be nasty and strange, in ways both intentional and unintentional, but it’s original and engaging and decidedly well made. Something of an overlooked classic of that era’s DC output.

Green Lantern: Earth One

Literally the only one of DC's Earth One graphic novels that's worth a damn. Where most of the other Earth One books choose to start things off in a world resembling our own, Green Lantern starts off in a scifi future resembling something along the lines of Ad Astra or The Expanse, with Earth controlled by an only alluded to totalitarian government, humanity colonizing and mining the solar system, and Hal Jordan as a spacefaring roughneck who dreads the prospect of returning to Earth. Earth One is the rare Green Lantern story that manages to make Earth as interesting as the rest of the universe. The bulk of the action leaves this behind to focus on unearth the lost legacy of the Green Lanterns and refits their mythology in a clean way which will be unsurprising for anyone with a passing familiarity with the original comics but is still satisfying ad fresh. Fabulous art, fun take on the mythology, I'm left both wanting more and being satisfied with what we got.

Spider-Man: Life Story

In a just world, Chip Zdarksy, one of Marvel’s best writers these days, would be writing both Spider-Man and Fantastic Four, instead of having been relegated to shortlived spinoffs. Because life just isn’t fair sometimes, instead he was given this admittedly ambitious project, his all-encompassing take on the Spider-Man story as played out in real time. In the end it’s bold and engaging, but more than a little clipped in execution. Each issue is a snippet of Peter Parker's life as we catch up to him in a new decade so readers only get a quick glimpse of the action and are left to fill in the substantial gaps by drawing on our knowledge of continuity. The obvious comparison is John Byrne's Superman/Batman: Generations, but where that story really only took the broad strokes of those characters' continuity into account in writing its decades spanning story, Spider-Man: Life Story is dedicated to the remixing of Spider-Man's publishing canon. So it can’t just take an archetypal view of Spider-Man and play that out to its logical conclusion, instead it’s stuck trying to incorporate version of prominent Spider-Man stories like Kraven's Last Hunt, Venom, and Civil War. The result means that there’s a ton of exposition in each issue, and frequent use of shorthand to gloss over things which have happened since the previous issue, and it never manages to explore the series’ original ideas in detail. Also, I'll die mad that Michel Fiffe, the genius behind COPRA and one of my favorite cartoonists, public pitched basically this exact story a year or so before this project was announced, and even if Marvel didn't actually steal the idea, I'll forever pine for Fiffe's take on this premise.

Star Wars: The Crimson Empire Saga

Long before the Disney's take on Star Wars, with their codified takes on the mythology and careful curation of the franchise, there was the old Star Wars Expanded Universe, where seemingly anyone could tell any story they wanted using the mythology of Star Wars. While it resulted in some good stuff, like Timothy Zahn's fondly remembered Thrawn books, the vast majority of it was workmanlike or even bad. Crimson Empire falls firmly into the category of bad, a dumber than dirt story about an extremely cool space guy and his code of honor. It's the kind of story where multiple characters say "He's just one man!" right before or right after seeing their legion of anonymous flunkies getting demolished by the hero. It's got an inexplicable and bad love story. In the three miniseries collected here it spends about two pages total dealing with the idea that maybe, just maybe, the fact that it's main character is dedicated to the lost honor of Emperor Palpatine, a space fascist, maybe his code of honor is completely fucked. Of those three miniseries, only the first story is anywhere near something that could be called good. I wouldn’t called Crimson Empire utterly abysmal, but it’s not unironically good. If the name Kyle Katarn means anything to you, you might get something out of this as a nostalgia trip, but otherwise it has no redeeming qualities.

Deathstroke: Legacy

The first of the New 52 Deathstroke stories, which was never well regarded until Christopher Priest took it over with Deathstroke: Rebirth, I was driven to read this by a conceptual fondness for this era's Deathstroke basically looking and acting like an action figure. Through that lens, it's quite enjoyable. It's not as obviously in on the joke in the way that the classic Taskmaster: Unthinkable is, but it's over the top, has fun designs and baddies, and Joe Bennett (years before his career best heights in Immortal Hulk) provides consistently good art. As a pure action comic, it's good.

Wolverine MAX: Permanent Rage

Here's the thing about Wolverine: There are very few good Wolverine solo stories. Wolverine is a genuinely good character, but most of his solo stories are dumb action affairs, and there's literally never been a Wolverine comic that's even halfway as good as the Logan movie. Permanent Rage, the first storyline from the Wolverine MAX series though, is actually pretty decent. It plays out a lot like you might imagine a Wolverine movie made around 2004, with no superheroes, a Japanese setting that allows for some distracting orientalism, unrelenting violence, and a noir-inspired storyline. The present day storyline is all well and good, not great, but solid and relatively low-key, but what makes the book is the presence of Sabretooth as the main villain. His relationship with Wolverine, fleshed out through flashbacks drawn by some really talented artists, is probably one of the best takes on that relationship that Marvel has ever put out. The casting of Wolverine and Sabretooth as two lonely immortals, bound together by hate and the knowledge that they are each other's only true companions, absolutely makes this book. Is it great? No, but it's got enough interesting things going on that fans of dark superheroes stories would probably find something to enjoy. Subsequent volumes of Wolverine MAX moved even further from the character’s superhero trappings and supporting characters, which is a pity, but this one remains readable and enjoyable on its own.

Marshal Law Omnibus

A collection all of the non-licensed and non-text-only Marshal Law stories. It's weird, it's punk, it's violent, it's sick of superheroes but self-aware about it own silliness in a way that Garth Ennis' work like The Boys has never been (Incidentally, the fifth story contained here, Super Babylon, is just every self-righteous complaint Ennis made about superheroes in The Boys but presented with a modicum of good humor). It's quite fun as a mean-spirited anti-superhero romp, but anyone who is particularly invested in the moral rectitude of, like, the Flash, might find it an unpleasant read so I would advise avoiding it if that's you. It's also not perfect, even for what it is: it's approach to sex work and kink is very dated, it relies on sexual violence a little too much, and by the time you get to the final story, Secret Tribunal, it's come to revel in its previously ironic fascist and misogynist imagery and characters just a little too much. The third installment, Kingdom of the Blind, is for my money, the strongest of the lot, featuring both the most straightforward premise and the most incisive satire the collection has to offer.

#capsule reviews #words

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starmakerdotcom · 5 years

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summary : sooyoung can’t sleep, and hyunmi tries to get her to spill what’s on her mind.

characters : lee suyeong, park hyeonmi, mentions of aki of venus and hana of b2u

genre : tried to be angst at the beginning, doesn’t really work, mostly fluff near the end

warnings : mentions of past issues i guess?? mentions of eunji’s anorexia recovery?? probably some mental issues, anxiety, worrying, all that jazz!! bad spelling also. i probably missed a few things so lmk

words : 1.6k

[ june 2019, 1:28 am, fruit basket’s dorm living room ]

suyeong couldn’t sleep.

she had no clue why, she just assumed it was because she had so much going on, it was taking a toll on her already horrid sleeping schedule. suyeong had remembered having sleeping problems as a young child, but as she grew into a teen, she overcame it. it was just when she became an idol that she noticed it starting to come back.

she had a love-hate relationship with sleep, on one hand it made her feel refreshed and rested, but sometimes that didn’t work, and she’s wake up feeling more tired and groggy then she had the previous night.

sighing, suyeong turned the tv on, flipping through channels mindlessly. she knew she wasn’t sleeping at that point, so she might as well turn something on to occupy her mind until she hopefully crashed, finally succumbing to the sleep that she so desperately needed but didn’t want.

from her bedroom down the hall, hyeonmi heard the tv and decided to leave her room and investigate. suyeong heard her footsteps while she was trying her best to sneak down the hall, and looked back to face her.

“what are you doing up?” suyeong asked.

“i could say the same to you. did you see what time it is?” hyeonmi replied dryly, sitting down on the couch next to suyeong. “what’s up? can’t sleep?”

“nope.” suyeong sighed, still flipping through channels trying to find a decent one, not like she was gonna watch it anyways, it was just background noise so she didn’t feel so alone.

hyeonmi tilted her head thoughtfully, “something on your mind?”

“you could say that.”

“alright, spill it. what’s on your mind? you can talk to me, you know that. i’ll listen.”

suyeong shook her head, “it’s nothing important. i’m just thinking about things.”

“like what?”

“life, i guess.”

“what do you mean?”

“life. how else do i word it?”

“well you could be more specific.”

suyeong slumped, “i don’t know. like... the future, i guess? like, what’s in store for us?”

“oh, i see.” hyeonmi said, “i think about that sometimes too. it’s a bit sad but like, i think about what would happen if we disbanded. would we stay friends? maybe debut somewhere else? or would we part ways? it makes me spiral but i guess it’s something that will inevitably happen.”

suyeong nodded, “yeah, but i’m more worried about our individual futures, not just the whole group. i’m worried about the maknaes, unnie.”

hyeonmi looked at her. “how so?”

“when eunji wasn’t doing well a few years ago, i was so worried. i was scared about what would happen if she were to relapse. i know she’s doing better, but there’s always that possibility.”

“i get it. i get worried for her too sometimes, but she’s doing so much better now! there’s nothing to worry about, she’s got us by her side!”

“i’m worried about ahreum too. i feel like if one of us was to break off and do their own thing, it would be her.”

“really?” hyeonmi said, “what do you mean?”

“you’ve definitely noticed, it’s hard not to. i feel like she’s been spending more time with her boyfriend then she has with us, and her and eunji have been arguing about it. you’ve heard them, haven’t you? i mean i get it, i know what it’s like to be young and in love, but i feel like jaebeom is going to make her less interested in us. i’ve been thinking about other things too, like, what if they take their relationship further? what if he gets her pregnant? she’s too young for a kid, unnie!”

“suyeong, calm down.” hyeonmi set a hand gently on her shoulder, “i can talk to ahreum, i’ll be sure to tell her everything she needs to know.”

“you certainly have more relationship experience than the rest of us do.” suyeong said.

“that’s part of it, yeah,” hyeonmi continued, “but also because she trusts me. i’m not saying she doesn’t trust you, but she treats me like her older sister, she always comes to me for advice. i’ll make sure she doesn’t do anything she’ll regret.”

“you’ve noticed she’s not been hanging out with us as much lately though? you’ve noticed her and eunji arguing about it, right? you’ve had to have notice that.”

“she’s in that point in her relationship where her and jaebeom are inseparable. it’s always like that with the first few months, they’re completely obsessed with each other at this point in time, but soon enough they’ll be more comfortable with each other and feel like they won’t have to spend every waking moment with each other.”

“i feel like this is making it seem like i don’t like jaebeom,” suyeong laughed, “it’s not that, i think he’s a really good guy and is perfect for ahreum. not to mention he’s actually adorable.”

“i know, he’s literally the cutest. have you seen all the nice things he buys her? he’s gonna drain his bank account because of how much he loves ari. she doesn’t even ask for anything!”

“i think he’s great for her. i just wonder how long they’ll last.”

“i wonder that too. i hope it’s a while.”

“me too.”

hyeonmi adjusted her sitting position, because her leg was beginning to fall asleep. “speaking of relationships, have you got your eye on anyone?”

suyeong laughed, “wouldn’t you like to know.”

“i would actually. you think someone new is cute every week, who’s the lucky one this week?”

suyeong lightly shoved her arm, “that’s not true!”

hyeonmi smirked slightly, “you’re blushing. who is it? i won’t embarrass you, i promise.”

“yeah, like i believe that.”

“i won’t tell a soul.”

“are you sure?”

“i’m sure.”

“don’t go trying to set us up together! all the people i think are cute are way out of my league!”

“come on! just tell me!”

“well...” suyeong’s cheeks flared bright red, “there’s two.”

“who’s the first?”

“i think aki from venus is really cute. she seems like the type of person that’s always in a relationship though, i don’t think i have a chance with her. don’t try anything.”

hyeonmi laughed, “i won’t! now who’s the other one?”

suyeong fidgeted with her hands, “hana from b2u. she’s out of my league too, don’t you dare try anything with her either.”

hyeonmi laughed again, “your secrets are safe with me.”

“now,” suyeong began, “since i spilled my crushes, it’s only fair if you do too.”

“oh, wow.” hyeonmi leaned back, “you may find this hard to believe, but i actually don’t have my eye on anyone right now. i’m too busy for relationships.”

“yeah right,” suyeong scoffed, “if you don’t want to tell me, fine. you’re paying for our coffee tomorrow morning.”

“if that’s what it takes to let you know i’m telling the truth, that’s fine with me.” hyeonmi replied.

“anyways, thanks for staying up and letting me spill some of my problems,” suyeong yawned, “i think i might actually get some sleep tonight, i feel slightly more relieved then i did 30 minutes ago.

“glad i could help.” hyeonmi replied.

“i’ll get a glass of water and then i’m gonna head to bed. you can go if you want. or stay, i wouldn’t mind that either.”

“let me guess, you want to sleep in my room tonight?”

“yeah.”

hyeonmi laughed, “that’s fine, get your water and i’ll be in bed.”

and then they parted ways- for five minutes at most but still. suyeong went into the kitchen, and grabbed a glass, pouring herself a small glass of water before heading down the hall into hyeonmi’s room.

suyeong always went to sleep in hyeonmi’s room when she was feeling down. or if she couldn’t sleep, or if she had a nightmare, or literally anything else. if there was an excuse to sleep in hyeonmi’s room, suyeong took it.

“you got your water?” hyunmi said, looking over from under her covers as suyeong walked in.

suyeong nodded, “you sure got into bed fast.”

“i was tired.”

suyeong scoffed, “weakling.”

“yah! having a bad sleep schedule isn’t a god thing!”

climbing into bed, suyeong chuckled under her breath.

at that moment she felt invincible, like hyeonmi was the shield that would protect suyeong from whatever life threw at her. suyeong was small, vulnerable, easily manipulated. hyeonmi was tall, strong, and defended suyeong with her life. she was like a mother, older sister, and best friend all at the same time. suyeong believed they were soulmates, but never told anyone that, although she was sure hyeonmi felt the same.

suyeong couldn’t quite explain it, but when hyeonmi was by her side, she felt like she could conquer the world. meeting hyeonmi was one of the best things that ever happened to her.

“you know...” suyeong mumbled, “when we were trainees, i had a crush on you.”

“it was pretty obvious.” hyeonmi replied, “i just never said anything about it. you know before you came out to us i already suspected it right?”

suyeong sighed, “that’s what i thought. thanks for not bringing it up before, i wouldn’t have been on the right state of mind for that.”

suyeong sighed, bringing the covers up to her chin. she stayed silent for a few seconds, just staring at the ceiling, taking note of all the uneven paint patches and cracks, there were probably more, but it was dark and she couldn’t see them all.

“you know,” suyeong continued after a few seconds, “we should go out for breakfast tomorrow, all four of us. we have no plans i don’t think, and it’d be nice for just the four of us to go out together. does that sound...”

she trailed off when she heard soft snoring from hyeonmi’s side of the bed.

“how dare you sleep before i finished talking.” suyeong laughed, “i guess that means i should go to sleep too.”

and that was the best sleep suyeong had gotten in quite a while.

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