#And all the professors want to kill me this week (presentations)

[misspickman]

Today sucked ass and i got rained on for two hours but hey i get to write about eels

[euaphoric]

🕸️ KINKTOBER - DAY 1. 🕸️

Show You What Devotion Is . . .

[PAIRING] jungkook x f!reader

[GENRE] bf/gf, established relationship, pwp [WARNINGS] fluff, smut, small mentions of insecurities, body worship, devotion kink, face-sitting, biting, spit kink (sorta, kinda?)

summary: you don’t think you’re good enough for your boyfriend but he proves those thoughts wrong by showing just how much undying love he truly has for you.

wc -> 2.0k

A/N: first post of the month, 30 more to go woohoo~ so excited to do this and hopefully this’ll help me get a better idea of what i like/don’t like writing in the future. **fyi oc is told that she tastes like candy but obvi in the real world if ur hoo-ha tastes like candy that’s not normal .. o_O buttt this is fiction so just pretend they can sjdjfjsjjs.

kinktober m.list

this day simply couldn’t get any worse. you missed the bus back home just by a fraction of a minute, all because you wanted to speak with your professor at his office hours but now in hindsight, you wished you never did. it was practically a waste of time anyway, he wasn’t giving much worthy feedback on your presentation and the anxiety about your final grade grew rampant as the semester progressed. ‘fuck, guess’ll wait for the next one in 15’ you mumble to yourself, annoyed and exhausted from earlier’s events. one side of you just wants to call jungkook to come pick you up but your other subconscious is telling you that’s selfish— don’t make him drive all the way here when you can just wait a measly 15 more minutes.

sigh~

it won’t kill you to wait, it’s not like you were in a rush to see him right now. it was actually quite the opposite, you weren’t prepared to tell him how you completely bombed your presentation. well, you wouldn’t say completely but it definitely wasn’t up to your impossibly high standards. public speaking was the only class you struggled with the most, you could articulate your words precisely in writing but saying it out loud? that was a totally different story. you have to outgrow this “fear” over speaking in front of an audience if you want to practice law one day. no one’s going to take you seriously if you can’t even read a single paragraph without tripping over syllables. all you could do was replay those embarrassing moments and internally cringe, almost missing the bus again from being so deep in thought— what a nightmare.

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“baaabyyyy!” the sweet sound of jungkook’s voice instantly made everything better, at least for now. his peachy soft lips went straight to your face almost immediately, smothering you with dozens of kisses while caging his beautiful, toned arms around your willowed frame. “you came home so late, was expectin’ you half an hour agooo.” he whines immaturely, holding you so tight he’s nearly squeezing you at this point. he must’ve really missed you. “i missed the bus… i wanted to talk with my professor about my presentation and thought i could make it but i guess not..” you pause, thinking if you should share what’s really crossing your mind, “…i was gonna call you to pick me up but didn’t think it was worth all that hassle.” now hearing yourself say that out loud makes it seem like he isn’t a reliable boyfriend, he very much is, it’s just the over-thinker in you. it’ll mark your 2 years of dating next week yet somehow you still felt like you were burdening him at times.

if the embodiment of ‘???’ was a person, that would be jungkook right about now; he couldn’t fathom you thinking such unlawful things. “hassle? what’re you talking about love, nothing is a hassle for me when it comes to you, absolutely nothing. next time you need me don’t hesitate to call babe,” he reassures sincerely. loosening his embrace momentarily to turn you around, he brings your chests together while his hands wrap your pretty waist, feeling his rapid heartbeat against yours. “i’m serious, you better call me next time.” the sternness of his voice alarming you that he’ll probably lecture you for this. he texts you hourly just to check in and make sure you’re okay, a simple drive to pick you up is the bare minimum to him. “well besides that.. how’d your presentation go?” jungkook’s doe-like eyes widen as he interrogates with questions. “i don’t wanna talk about it.” you silently mutter, already dreading what the final grades were going to be. “that bad, huh?” he proceeds with even more questions, “did you remember like we practiced last night?” you nod, lowering your head to stare at the floor, confidence dwindling by the second.

it truly hurts him to see you upset over something you’ve worked so passionately on, all just for it to feel ruined in the end. he hates that you’re not your usual bubbly and cute self, it makes him do everything he can to cheer you up. “it’s okay if you don’t wanna talk about it now, i get it. you probably did well though, i bet you messed up like one time and no one even noticed ‘cause you’re so pretty!” he teases, inked, slender digits trail up to find solace on your chin, lifting your head up to face each other again. “stop stressing over dumb little imperfections, it never ends well.” “oh, you’re one to talk!” you whine into his chest, unable to deal with his hypocrisy. not jungkook of all people giving you this speech when he is literally the #1 perfectionist king. “and i’m not even that pretty..” you quietly mumble, hoping he wouldn’t catch that. “wait, what did you just say?!” his voice raised an octave of confusion, you would think someone had just told him the most horrific story, but no, here he is on the verge of a mental breakdown over his girlfriend feeling insecure. “i said i’m not that—” “no no, i heard you the first time. my brain just isn’t registering the fact that you don’t think you’re anything less than a walking goddess of this earth.” he was flabbergasted to hear you talk with such low confidence, “sometimes, i feel like you can do so much better..” that’s what fully broke his heart as you spoke, it pained him to know you harbored all these feelings deep down inside.

the only answer in solving this dilemma is by being a better boyfriend to you, showering you with even more compliments than he already does daily, and most importantly, proving that he is 100% devoted to you and you only.

˖⁺‧₊˚ᰔᩚ˚₊‧⁺˖

eyes half-lidded in lust, limbs spasming and going numb from the continuous stimulation, you can’t do much but moan out jungkook’s name on an endless loop. the first hour, jungkook took his heavenly time with your delicate, angelic body. everything about you is divine to him, he wants to appreciate every single inch of you, even the parts you despise. he dedicated his lips to kissing and pleasuring your whole body, leaving no surface of you untouched. he’d rave in between kisses about how beautiful you are, how lucky he is and how he’s willing to do anything to make you happy. if being love-drunk was a disease, he’d rather fall into a coma and never wake up than find the cure. he’s living his best life as he cherishes your innate beauty, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses to your inner thighs as he reaches them, taking ample time to caress and praise your dreamy body. he’s always had a thing for your cute plush thighs, the way they’d bounce and jiggle when he plays with them makes him all giddy inside. he can never get enough of them or you, leaving numerous bite marks and coating them with his spit, “you’re a work of art princess, a masterpiece. don’t think any different.” jungkook murmured against you, voice laced with pure seduction and infatuation.

body buzzing in anticipation as he kept working his way up, leaving a chaste peck to your left and right hip bone, firmly gripping your thighs as he drags his lips to your center. the urge to make out with your cunt was insatiable for him, he needed his face buried between your legs, there was no place he’d rather be. “after this you’re gonna use my face as your throne and m’gonna give you the most mind blowing orgasm, capeesh?” jungkook props his head up for a second before kissing below your belly button. “c-capeeshh.” you hazily reply, mind still fuzzy from just his kisses and touch alone. you know you’re in for a wild ride whenever you sit on your boyfriend’s face, he always eats you like a starved man and makes sure you cum multiple times, he takes such pride in himself for having you be a twitching and moaning mess by the end of it all. his only goal and mission for the night was to make you feel so good that you reach your climax hard enough to see memories of your life flash before your eyes. as he made his way up to your waist, you melt into his warmth, craving him more and more as time goes on. you thought you felt your soul leave your body when he unsuspectingly attaches his mouth to your nipple, babbling nothing coherent as you rut your hips into nothing.

as much as jungkook wanted to keep the teasing going, he was so down bad to have you sit on his face in this moment, ready to show exactly how much love and obsession he has for you. “need you so bad babe.. need to taste you,” he sighs, shamelessly gawking over you as he maneuvers you on top. “you’re so fuckin’ sexy mama... would love to be in between these pretty thighs for the rest of my life.” you couldn’t help but blush at his dirty talk, feeling flustered as you slide off your damp polka dot panties, watching as he licks his lips, planning to devour you whole. jungkook was so excited, you’re always scared of hurting him whenever you sit on his face but he reassures you often that he’ll be fine, “you’re not gonna kill me babe, trust me. even if you did i think it’d be sick to put ‘died from too much pussy juice’ on my gravestone anyway.” he lightly jokes, never taking anything in the slightest bit serious. you position your lower half, hovering over his face as he stares directly at your wetness. the tent in his boxers only surged, he was so hopelessly attracted to you, he could cum just from giving you head.

“fuuuu- oh my god so good, so good! yess, keep going babyy..” your legs shake violently as you rock your hips back and forth, rendering a steady motion against your boyfriend’s soothing tongue. as you throw your head back in pleasure and delight, jungkook grips onto your thighs for dear life, using every bit of manpower he possessed in making sure you don’t move away. “mmmhh~” he’d hum into your sensitive, eliciting the harmonious moans he loves to hear every night. you clutch onto the floral sheets of the bed, hand full of jet-black hair in the other. “mmm.. taste so sweet for me..” he grunts against your dripping core, “like candy..” a few more sloppy licks then he’s back to aggressively sucking your clit. you were grinding his face with more speed and didn’t care as much about hurting him anymore, if he really was uncomfortable he’d speak up. jungkook would never do that though, you are his goddess and he wants this night to be all about pleasing you. “uhhh, t-think m’gonna cum..” you felt that familiar knot in your tummy, hips subconsciously rutting faster into his mouth as eyes roll to the back of your head. you couldn’t tell much of his condition below you but his stamina never slowed, eating you out with everlasting hunger as his grip refuses to unravel. “cum for me princess, please.” his encouraging words help reach your high, feeling a whole new state of nirvana as your chest heaves, “fuck, jungkook, i love you!” you cry out, clenching around his tongue as he licks every crevice of you clean. the room spun around as you catch your breath, having trouble regaining your balance for a split second.

you droop down onto your heavy panting boyfriend’s chest, lightly sticking to his dewy skin from all the built up sweat. “sooo, how’re you feeling now compared to earlier? did it work? are all your insecurities vanished and gone now?” he’s back to his normal self again, asking his little series of questions. you giggle, “i feel great koo, definitely helped me relax..” flashing a warm smile as he reaches out for you to cuddle, “i must’ve done some life-changing shit in my past lives to deserve someone as good as you.”

[lovebotmo]

like the movies

chapter three - caramel creams

series masterlist

pairing: theodore nott x reader

wc: 2311

author's note: omg ive been feeling stuck working on this chapter for days so thanks for your patience and as always, hope you like this next chapter. so so thankful for all of you who have commented on my previous chapters!!!!!!!!! kiss kiss

i've also started a taglist so message me if you want to be included!!

song inspiration: you're here that's the thing by beabadoobee

A week had passed, and you still knew diddly-squat regarding the mysterious guy who had generously sent you the bouquet of moly blossoms and the adjoining note. Glances over classmate’s shoulders to peer at their handwriting were unfruitful and almost landed you in detention when McGonagall had noted your lack of attention in Transfiguration. Whoever your secret admirer was, he had made sure to cover his tracks and frustratingly stump you. No additional clue found its way to you, and no one came forward.

You’d even gone to Professor Sprout earlier in the week to inquire about her moly plants and determine if your mystery man had procured the flowers from her, or alternatively, stolen them. She’d answered in the negative to both—no one had come to her regarding your bouquet, and she wasn’t missing any stock. However, she did echo the sentiment you and Hermione had shared, that whoever he was, he had spent a great deal of money to impress you.

You rolled over in bed to peer at the blooms decorating your bedside. They were still darling as ever. However, they were a constant reminder you had no clue as to who had sent them.

If the guy really fancied me, he’d know this must be driving me mad.

You pulled the covers over your head, groaning, before resolving to go down to breakfast in the Great Hall. Your little quandary wasn’t going to be solved anytime soon, and your stomach shouldn’t suffer for it.

Joining your friends in the Great Hall, Ginny noticed you were a little quieter than normal. “You alright there, Y/n?” Breaking your reverie, you smiled at the red-headed Weasley before stuffing a piece of jam-smothered toast into your mouth.

Your muffled and somewhat undiscernible reply of “’M all good, thanks” was met with a laugh from Ginny and a scolding from Hermione to slow down while eating.

“I’ve got to hurry, ‘Mione,” you said between bites, “otherwise I’ll be late for the Hogsmeade trip. Need to clear my mind for a bit.” Hermione watched in horror at the speed with which you downed the toast, practically throwing a napkin at you when she noticed the jam lingering in the corners of your mouth. You grinned sheepishly at her.

“Still no clue then, I reckon?” Padma asked. You just shook your head, turning to dive into some fried eggs. While you had hoped to be discreet about the whole situation, you had wanted your friends’ opinions, as well as their help, in searching for your secret admirer. However, you had no such luck and your friends were just as clueless.

“It’s kind of dreamy, don’t you think? The whole not-knowing part and the expectation of another clue or a gift. To think someone in this room sent you those lovely flowers!” Hannah seemed more excited about it than you did.

“Oh, come off it. We all know it’s killing Y/n not to know—I’ll bet you she was the kid who would shake her presents under the Christmas tree to try and figure out what they were. Maybe even peer through a hole in the wrapping paper to sneak a peek, eh?” Ginny joked, nudging your arm.

The glare you sent Ginny let her know she had hit the nail on the head.

“Can I see the note again?” asked Luna. Pulling it from your pocket, you handed it to the waifish girl, with Padma peering over her shoulder. As she handed it back, you noticed the certain degree of softness the parchment now had, caused by the countless folding, unfolding, and gentle tracing of the letters by your fingertips. You looked at it once more before tucking it back in.

“Well,” you said, rising from your seated position, “enough of that. I’ve got a date with fizzing whizzbees at Honeydukes, and I will not let you lot make me late!” Laughing, the five girls stood up to join you and began to make their way out of the Great Hall.

Upon arriving in Hogsmeade, the six of you split up to run various errands or meet other friends. Luna joined you on the trip to Honeydukes, desiring to pick up some pepper imps, which she believed would ward off nargles from settling in her hair. You just nodded at your endearing, albeit strange friend. Nodding was oftentimes the best thing to do when Luna said something particularly…off. Upon entering the candy store, you separated from the blond Ravenclaw to fulfill your particular errand.   

“Mr. Flume!” You called out to the elderly proprietor of Honeydukes. He smiled once he placed your voice. Your acquaintance with Ambrosius Flume and his wife had begun in your third year, on your very first trip to Hogsmeade. Over the years, you’d heard countless stories about the store and its fantastical sweet treats. As such, when you were finally of age, you had been extremely excited to finally visit. Upon entry, in your typical coordinated fashion, you had managed to slip on and fall due to the bat’s blood soup Neville Longbottom had managed to spill all over the checkered floor. Spotting the tears quickly forming in your eyes, courtesy of your pain and embarrassment, Mrs. Flume had helped you off the floor and fixed you a cup of hot chocolate while you amused her husband with various accounts of muggle delicacies and candies. Since then, you had made it a habit to bring him a muggle candy of some sort to try, proving that even though muggle treats had no real magic in them, they could still be magical. In turn, he would trade one of his newest treats for you to try.

Finally meeting through the frenzied crowd of Honeydukes, Mr. Flume clasped one of your hands in both of his, giving it a hearty squeeze. “How have you been, dearie? Brought me something today, did you?”

You laughed at his eagerness. “You only want me for my muggle sweets, don’t’ you? How incorrigible.”

The two of you giggled like children before you pulled out the promised sweet. This time, you had brought him a small bag of Goetze’s caramel creams, also known as bullseyes. As silly as it might seem, the candies were close to your heart, something you had enjoyed with your mother as a child, eating away at the chewy caramel outside and the sweet cream filling.

“They’re my absolute favorite, you know. And after four years of exchanging candies with you, I insist you stock them just for me. Waiting for packages from my mum to get my fix is simply too difficult.”

Mr. Flume laughed at your dramatics before pocketing the sweets. “You know how much I enjoy these little exchanges with you, poppet. I’ve got something new for you to try, straight from my little lady’s oven.” Reaching into the pocket of his worn apron, he pulled out a pastry of some sort wrapped in brown paper. “Mrs. Flume calls ‘em ‘Cheering Cherry Tarts,’ ‘spose to boost your spirit for a few hours if you can imagine that. Hope you like it.” With that, he left with an affectionate pat on your arm before going to assist some of the other customers.

Taking one bite of the pastry, you had to resist the urge to moan at how delicious it was.

If you knew one thing about Mrs. Flume, it was that the woman could cook.

Scarfing down the tart, you grabbed a box of toffees and glacial snowflakes to bring back with you. After checking out, you made your way to The Three Broomsticks where you had agreed to meet to meet up with your friends after you completed your errands.

You quickly spotted your friends within the tavern. Padma was sporting several shopping bags from Gladrags Wizardwear, while Ginny and Hannah had popped into Zonko’s to pick up some stink pellets intended for the Gryffindor first-years. Ginny was more than happy to continue the pranking tradition her older brothers had begun at Hogwarts, and Hannah was always game for a good laugh. Hermione sat quietly at the table twirling one of her new quills. At the sight you let out a small chuckle. Hermione was many things, but she was not someone to pass up on purchasing new stationary. She was practically besotted whenever she saw a fine quill.

Joining the gaggle of girls, you all went over your purchases, ordering some treats and drinks, gossiping about various happenings at Hogwarts, and just enjoying the general splendor of The Three Broomsticks and its ambience. As much as you enjoyed your classes, moments like these were what you would miss most upon your graduation in the spring. It brought a little twinge to your heart, the bittersweet thought of leaving, but you were excited for the future and to see what your dearest friends would go on to do.

Your reminiscing and get-together, however, was interrupted by increasingly loud voices from a corner table. Imagining it to be some drunkards, you turned, only to see Nott and Malfoy arguing over something that had the two Slytherins particularly heated. While you had no idea what had started their spat, it was easy to tell that Malfoy had somehow provoked Nott who became increasingly incensed. Towering over the blonde, Nott continued to spew verbal fire at him and despite his best effort to hide it, you could tell that Malfoy was intimidated.

“Chi mi piace non sono affari tuoi, Malfoy. Restane fuori!” While you didn’t understand the Italian rapidly leaving Nott’s mouth, you could tell how angry he was. As he was about to continue his verbal assault, he caught your eyes and likely the look of concern on your face. His face relaxed and his next words seemed to slip his mind. Sparing one more withering glance at Malfoy, he quickly stormed out of the tavern and conversation slowly recommenced.

“Wonder what started that little fight,” wondered Padma, picking up her glass of butterbeer.

Turning back, you shrugged, “No idea.”

The six of you left The Three Broomsticks shortly after, realizing that you would have to return to Hogwarts soon. You linked your arm with Ginny as she chatted about her intended strategies for the upcoming Quidditch season. Walking towards the train station, you noticed Nott in the distance, trekking in the opposite direction of the Hogwarts Express.

Didn’t he know that the train would be leaving soon?

Removing your arm from Ginny’s, you excused yourself. “I’ll meet you guys on the train, alright? Save me a seat.” With that, you quickly followed the retreating Slytherin.

“Don’t be late, Y/n! You can’t be losing house points this early in the year!” yelled Hermione.

When you finally caught up to Nott, he was sitting on a bench located on the path that headed towards the Shrieking Shack. He was staring into the distance, those brooding eyes of his lost in thought. Hearing the crunch of autumn leaves beneath your feet, his head swiveled towards your approaching figure. He stood in surprise before sitting again. You sat down beside him.  

Bumping his shoulder with your own, you asked, “Something on your mind, Nott? You seem a little…out of it.”

At the sound of your voice, he left out a long sigh. “No—nothing. ‘M fine.” The clipped response made you raise a brow at him. The guy was not very good at lying, even if he was a Slytherin. “And…it’s Theo. Or, I mean, you can call me Theo.” Those blue eyes returned to you, accompanied by the faintest of smiles.

“Alright then, Theo. What’s got your wand in a knot…Or should I say N-o-t-t?” You let out a small laugh, winking at him as he gave you a look somewhere between horrified and disgusted.

“I don’t even want to dignify that with a response.”

“It was right there! I had to.”

“You definitely did not.”

“Don’t you mean…did N-o-t-t?”

“Alright, that’s enough.”  He paused, before continuing, “Do you think it’s too late to request a new Potions partner? I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it through the year at this rate.”

You gasped in mock horror, lightly knocking him on the arm, “Oh please Theo, I’m a peach. You adore me.” You didn’t notice how Theo stiffened at your retort, your eyes turning to the autumn trees lining the path.

“That was quite a scene in there, you and Draco. Fighting over anything in particular?”

Theo let out a huff of hot air through his nose, “No…it’s just—Malfoy’s a fucking prat.”

A bark of laughter left you at his response. “Could have told you that in first year, Theo. Would have saved you a lot of trouble.” At that, he laughed, and you were happy to see a grin finally grace his normally stoic face.

“Now c’mon,” you said standing, “we’ve got to get going if we don’t want to miss the train. Godric knows how much trouble I’ll be in with my housemates if we don’t make it in time.”

Theo stood and joined you in walking back towards the platform, a comfortable silence falling over you two. He seemed to have snapped out of whatever funk had clouded his mind, as he was soon making small talk and a few jokes as you got closer.

Just before you boarded the train, Theo grasped your elbow gently to turn you towards him. He was at your eye level then, as you had stepped onto the first step of the express. You looked at him with questioning eyes. “Sorry, um—just wanted to say thanks.” At your furrowed brow he added, “for checking on me, I mean.”

You smiled at him. “Course. After all, what are Potions partners for?” At that, he returned your smile, his bright blue eyes crinkling a little at the edges.

Huh. Cute.

taglist: @melllinaa

[infinite-orangepeel]

“get too close to your muse & you, the artist, will lose all ability to decipher one shade from the next on your palette. keep your distance…”

fall quarter begins at the curly roots of eddie munson’s ineffable head, runs its’ labyrinthian course through passageways of blue veins & black ink, & ends at a set of hairy crimson painted toes.

steve finds himself squandering every waking moment of his lifeblood & attention somewhere, egregiously, in the middle.

“say you’re drawing a bed of flowers,” his professor lectured a few weeks back, “what happens if you put your nose in the middle of those flowers & try to recreate the details on your canvas? you come up with color and shape, sure, but it’s blurry—isn’t it? it’s a big blobby blur of nothing. that’s not very good life drawing, i’m afraid.”

flash forward to the present—

the bed is firm but comfortable. reminding you of its’ presence.

it doesn’t encourage daydreaming &, yet, steve is ignoring the better advice of his mentor & pressing his curious nose directly into the bud of an all too striking flower.

he knows the intimate contact could kill the rose, is aware of the thorns lining the stem, but he can’t stay away.

he’s struck by fear and temptation and self-loathing and a beauty that stings like a slap across the face.

eddie’s his roommate, his friend, his muse for the most important project of steve’s career as an art student.

& getting too close is lethal, so he creates a sort of optical illusion.

designs an environment in which he can pretend they are star-crossed lovers in a broken world that won’t let them be together. in which touch is a small death each and every time.

steve flits to eddie like a dragonfly to water—

never touching.

never spending too much time in his orbit before making up an excuse to leave & jerk off to the smell of old cigarettes in the bathroom.

everything he really wants to say sits in the back of his throat like a painful, malignant lump & gets spat out onto his sketchbook in a tragically romantic exorcism.

doing the dishes next to him is enough to drive him insane.

drawing him, butt-naked, is another story.

“is it supposed to be so….erotic?”

eddie arches an eyebrow as steve traces the outline of his cock into his sketchbook.

“it’s not that erotic,” steve says, blushing into his charcoals, “besides no one will know it’s you. it’s art.”

art is supposed to be weird & naked. now, hold still, & let me draw you.”

it’s definitely erotic.

there are roses—de-thorned, for safety—shrouding eddie’s dick & leaving a trail of pink petals across his pale thighs.

eddie’s hand is draped over his head; exuding a certain brattiness, lust, boredom—

as if he’s lying there because he wants someone, like steve, to stumble upon him & use his body the way it so clearly needs to be.

his lips are parted on the precipice of whispering some filthy secret into steve’s ear while milking him like a simple farm girl with nothing better to do.

fuck.

he can’t be this close to eddie without losing his mind.

fuck. fuck. fuck.

it’s just a body. just limbs and a huge cock and—

eddie’s quiet for a little while which is rare for him, before he pipes up again.

“what if we painted the flowers together?”

steve wipes the sweat from his brow, drops his pencil, and looks up at eddie across the mattress. working overtime to avoid staring at the erection sticking out amongst the bouquet of roses.

“the piece isn’t supposed to be very colorful. i’m going for muted tones. that’s why i picked the pale pinks and whites.”

eddie giggles a little and, it’s so cute, steve has to pinch his own thigh through his shorts just to maintain composure.

“i don’t think you’re understanding—the colors wouldn’t change much. except for some more white, if you catch my drift,” eddie pumps his hand over his cock several times and mimes cumming stop the petals, “might look cool. might get you extra points with that asshole professor of yours. you’ve said he likes ‘shock value.’”

“i—i guess you’re right. that’s a pretty….different and unique….um….idea. yeah.”

it’s like this that steve strips naked and clambers as close to eddie as he can possibly get without laying a finger on him. adhering to the rules—keeping a particular distance between artist & muse.

they lay side by side. sunlight streaming in through the blinds & bathing eddie’s spindly fingers in gold as he touches himself.

“harrington, don’t act like you haven’t been dreaming about this since day one,” eddie snarks, “i’ve seen the way you look at me, sweetheart. your eyes are gonna burn holes in my ass if you’re not careful. touch that pretty cock of yours, lemme see you.”

before steve can do anything about it or change his mind, he’s got a fist wrapped around his own cock and the other hand pinching his nipples. left and right, back and forth, dragging his nails through the hair sprouting around them.

“didn’t think you thought about me like that,” steve whines, watching as eddie edges himself methodically—

moving faster, slower, squeezing at the base, thumbing over the slit, cupping his balls, slapping the insides of his own thighs until they match the pink petals.

“i like a little pain,” he comments when he catches steve’s wide eyes, “and i’ve always was hallucinating the first time i walked into this room and saw you on the bed—thought i was going into the light and seeing an angel.”

“you’re so full of it.”

“i’d like to be full of you,” eddie breathes against steve’s neck, not allowing his lips to pass the barrier, “but i don’t know if you can handle me, big boy. you’re blushing like a nervous little schoolgirl.”

“am not—”

“are too, &, you’re about to cum just listening to my voice. it’s so crystal clear. look at you—fucking yourself so stupid.”

eddie looks so beautiful.

laying there like a forsaken god locked out of heaven.

steve’s been so good about keeping his hands to himself, about keeping his nose out of the flowers, but desire and temptation are stronger than any amount of remaining willpower he has.

he grabs eddie’s shoulder with his freehand & kisses him until they’re both seeing stars.

celestial explosions of pleasure & truth & this thing that’s been growing violently between them since the moment they first met.

“i’m cumming. i’m gonna—fuck steve, it’s gonna be on the flowers—i hope that’s okay—”

they cum in tandem over petals of pink and white and thornless stems.

steve gets an A+.

taglist (message me to be added or removed at any time <3): @estrellami-1 @disastardly @ilovecupcakesandtea @the-redthread @asbealthgn @bestofbucky @vampireinthesun @carlyv @shrimply-a-menace @lordrrascal @malachitedevil @anxiouseds @gay-little-bitch @jhrc666 @pinkdaisies1998 @perseus-notjackson @eiddets @corroded-coffin-groupie @three-possums-playing-human @stevesbipanic @plutoshelm @arkenstoned @indiearr @they-reap-what-we-sow @gleek4twd @bunnyweasley23 @livingoutload @a-little-unsteddie @novelnovella @neverlandwaitingforme @swiss-cheeze

[steddieas-shegoes]

you are the best thing that's ever been mine

for the @steddieholidaydrabbles warm up round 1 (prompt: high school or college AU) rated: T wc: 638 cw: n/a tags: established relationship, angst with a happy ending

--------------------------------------------------------------

Being with Eddie had been easy. Two years at college, pretty much sharing a dorm unofficially, studying together whenever they weren't working their shitty jobs, annoying Eddie's roommate Gareth constantly.

But when graduation came, and real life set in, they realized quickly that what they thought was hard was nothing.

They had a small apartment on the outskirts of town, rundown and barely worthy of the rent they had to pay, but it was theirs.

Steve managed to find a job at an elementary school as a guidance counselor right after graduation, but Eddie struggled for a while. It didn't seem like anyone was hiring for a music teacher, and he started to wonder if he'd made a mistake in his degree.

He thought he'd taken a safer route than just going into the music industry, or trying to, but clearly he'd been wrong.

"Baby, we're fine. I make enough to cover what we need, we just have to be on a tight budget," Steve told him after Eddie had explained how useless he felt not contributing to their bills yet.

They were lying on the couch, Eddie tense under Steve.

"But you shouldn't have to, Steve. I'm basically the same as the spider we refuse to kill in the shower," Eddie groaned.

"No you're not. You're trying to find a job and you're going to," Steve insisted.

"And if I don't?" Eddie said, pushing Steve off of him so he could stand up and pace. "If I end up searching for a job for months or years, how long until you get sick of having to support us both? How long until you kick me out because I can't give you what you want? We can't ever have a family on just your income in this shitty apartment."

"Eds, you won't be unemployed forever. We've got time."

But Eddie didn't want to listen.

He walked over to their window that opened onto a fire escape and climbed through it.

Steve saw that it was raining, but knew Eddie wasn't going to come inside until he was ready.

If Eddie had to be in the rain, then Steve was going to be with him.

Steve joined him a moment later, cringing slightly at the cold rain instantly soaking his clothes.

"You remember our senior year, when I was convinced I'd have to drop out because my social work for students professor hated me? I cried every night for three weeks about his class and his attitude. I was awful. But you listened to it all, held me through it all, helped me study for tests and prepare for my final presentation. You remember what you told me the day of the final?" Steve asked, keeping some distance between them while he spoke.

Eddie shook his head.

"You said that one hard class wasn't going to keep me from being what students need. You told me that I was going to be fine because I already cared about kids I don't even know yet, and anyone who couldn't see that was an idiot. And you told me you loved me for the first time."

Eddie looked over at him, brows furrowed, hair dripping wet from the rain.

"You loved me through a tough schedule, and being broke, and complaining about someone who ultimately didn't matter. You loved me when I was an asshole to you and everyone, you loved me when it was hard. Now it's my turn, okay? Let me love you through it all."

Eddie didn't answer for a moment, but then he leaned in and kissed Steve's forehead gently.

"I never thought I'd have someone who loved me like this. You're the best part of my life, you know that?"

"And you're mine," Steve replied, kissing him on the lips as the rain continued to fall.

[somemetallyillbitch]

Bc I love the parents friend trope I'll write another nolan ff this time with reader being a lopez (and of age, like 21 22 or smth like that)

John Nolan x reader fluff

Warnings: mamma Lopez, swearing, Nolan scared of his life, hints of smut but no actual smut, mentions of Alcohol (let me know if I forgot anything)

AN: I have zero clue what I made here but something came out so her yall go have fun

It was John's rare day of and we charished it with quality time and Netflix. That's when my phone rang. "Lopez-Evers? Hi mom what's up?" *over the phone* "Hi sweetie how you doing?" "What do you want mom?" "Can't a mother ask how her child is doing?" "She can but I know she wants something by her tone so spill it" "What do you know about secret relationships?" my heart sank "what would I know about that?" "We think Nolan is in one and you have the greatest skills to find out who it is." "Aren't you the detective?" "I can't spy on my co-worker" "so you want me to do it?" John looked at me with confusion and he picked me up and put me on his lap and nuzzled into my neck while I kept talking "Mom I love you but I won't Stalk your co-worker bc you want to know who he is dating, if you want to find out ask him yourself. Why don't you and dad throw a grill party or something then you could ask him, I can come to if you want, I mean it's springbreak so I have the next two weeks in LA." "okay I'm gonna tell your dad but please tell me what you find" "I won't find anything bc will not stalk Nolan end of discussion. Love you bye." John looked at me confused "why would you Stalk me?" "I will not Stalk you amor but I don't think this will be a secret much longer. My mom really wants to know who you date, maybe because you act differently." "So we are going to a grill party at your parents to find out I date you?" he asked amused "Yes precisely now if you don't stop with the little kisses I will drag you into the bedroom." I said and earned a mischievous grin from him "Oh well I do not mind" and kissed my neck harder until he hit my weak spot and I moaned. "John I swear to god~ christ that is good" he chuckled into my neck, turned me around and picked me up and carried me into the bedroom. "amor, as much as I would love doing that I have to get home and change." I was mad at myself for saying that. "You look beautiful all the time love" he said and kissed me. "thank you baby but I still have to change into something that isn't yours even if we get exposed today I still want to drag it out because as soon as my mother knows all hell will break lose and at least then she will have some alcohol in her system. " I said. "Alraight I will see you tonight but after that I will take out outfit and it will be in the corner of the room." "Okay sound perfect, I love you and I will see you at my parents." I gave him a quick kiss and walked out the house.

*Timeskip bc Idk what to write*

I was wearing something that will drive john insane bc the last time I wore it I couldn't walk the next day, that was fun explaining that to my professor when I couldn't stand for my presentation. I arrived and My Parents friend were already here but no John.

"I thought that whole thing was about Jo- Nolan, where is he?" I asked cursing myself for almost calling him John.

"He Texted me traffic is bad so he's running late." Lucy said. "What happened to your neck?" Harper asked with a smile "Got a Guy from LA?" "You have a boyfriend?" My mom asked in disbelief "I do and I wanna say imma kill him but I think you will take care of that." I said and the realisation hit Harper "No..." "Yes and I need you to not tell anyone okay" "Harper who is it?" My mother asked. "Oh you are going to figure that one out by yourself I am just gonna get popcorn and enjoy the show." she said and Lucy gave her a look of confusion then realisation and then shock in what my mother is going to do to him as soon as she finds out.

Nolan was enjoying a beer and a talk with my dad when my mother interrupted "Nolan question, do you know who my daughters boyfriend is?" She asked as if it was the most normal thing in the world John on the other hand was white as a ghost. "Why would I know that I barely see her I didn't even know she's here hi btw it's good to see you again, now I'm going to get a beer you want one?" He asked pointing at me "Yes I would love to and get my mother also one." Once John was gone a turned to my mom "Where is dad?" "Oh he is in the back Jard showing James his knew grill" My mum and Harper chuckled "What is it with Dads and Grills?" I that moment John came back and handed me mine and my mom's beer, when he handed me mine he said: "Here you go Honey-" That's when everyone froze. "Nolan, I am going to kill you!" "Oh God I would run amor" And with that John ran to the other guys and try to hide. We all started laughing.

[merakiui]

how does azuls octo-dick work like 😭 IM SORRY I NEED VISUALS

Allow me to help paint the visual!!! I have become Professor Meraki (silly delusion), specializing in octopus biology (specifically how that applies to our beloved Azuzu)!!!!!!!!ヾ(^ω^*) welcome to my class!!!!

The octopus's reproductive organ is called a hectocotylus, and it is known as a "modified/specialized arm" (or you can call it a "sex arm") that will transfer sperm to the female octopus. This is usually done by inserting said arm into the female octopus's mantle cavity; he usually keeps her at a distance because most female octopus become cannibalistic and will kill and feast upon their mates (a girlboss, those female octopus).

The arm has three main components (two of which are the ligula and calamus), but the most important part I will discuss is the spermatophore groove! Spermatophore is what octopus semen is called, and they are essentially packs of semen that can be up to one meter in length and contain billions of sperm. Many of these packs will reside in rows along the spermatophore groove because a lot is needed to fertilize many eggs (octopus copulation is said to last hours)!

The octopus's hectocotylus is actually smaller than the rest of its tentacles and so it will keep it curled inward against itself to protect it. It's a very important organ because it is the very thing that will allow the octopus to have enough anatomical rizz to mate with one fair octopus maiden. Sadly, both the female and male octopus will eventually die after mating. Octopus love story is tragic.

To present a visual diagram:

But how does this apply to our beloved tako? I like to think that the biology can be applied well, in that Azul naturally has a hectocotylus in his mer form and that it is universal animal instinct to want to protect such a vital reproductive organ. Although since he's half-human and he has a mother, I don't think his species will die after mating. Perhaps that's just an evolution of merfolk? Maybe it is some human strength or a result of parts of merfolk biology that allow for mating without death? In any case, his love story will not be tragic!!! A very good W for Mr. Azul.

I also think the rest of octopus courting rituals and mating behaviors can be applied to Azul (i.e. hours-long mating period, having spermatophores, instinctively keeping mate at a distance because many female merfolk are ruthless and perhaps this is just deeply rooted instinct, turning a darker or paler coloration when displaying before a mate, guarding mate from other males, and so on).

So to summarize: Azul's dick works just like the octopus's hectocotylus because it is one! Furthermore, you will be 100% knocked up if Azul takes you in his mer form. But then that's just all merfolk, including the twins. They have to be particularly virile if they intend to reproduce a lot, as most fry do not often survive in the tumultuous sea. And they have a lot of strength and stamina to last many hours, as is usually a common time length for copulation for many sea creatures. You will have a very fun, exhausting time with the trio in their mer forms when it comes time to mate!

Lecture dismissed!!!! Next week I will bring in Azul to show you the hectocotylus in real life. Please make sure to bring your notebook for recording important information. It will be on the exam. (*ᵕᴗᵕ)⁾⁾

[lokiforever]

New teachers at school!!!!

Chapter 10

Series Masterlist

A/N: Greetings,midgardians!So,my lovely mortals as many of you know, following the results of the poll JK's role is now officially switched to a student. Tom will be teaching History and English.....

Nyt!💚

Y/N : Stay, please!

You said in a low, meek voice. His heart clenched at the sight of you so sad and troubled.

Tom : I'm right here, sweetheart.

He said and sat back down on the bed and once he was one hundred percent sure that you're back in your slumber , he got up and laid on the couch in the room . Just in case you get another nightmare, though he sincerely hoped you don't .

He had to admit ,this nightmare got him wondering that what so bad happened to you because of which you get those awful nightmares. He was pretty sure about the fact that they're connected.

-----------------------

You woke up by your mobile alarm, only to find ,Tom, peacefully sleeping on the couch. Always a gentleman. You didn't exactly remember what happened last night....but he was there with you,that much you could recall. You felt a bit bashful, now that you think of it ....he was your professor afterall 🤷🏻.

There was a text from Y/B/F/N....

" Hey!! I'll be staying at Jungkook's ..."

"Hey! Amazing!Sorry for replying late, At Tom's ..... 😅". You replied

You got up , as quietly as you could, didn't want to wake your professor up from his deep, peaceful slumber . As you tip-toed your way towards the door, you decided to make some breakfast for you two . So, you went down to the kitchen and started cooking.

You decided to make a proper English Breakfast with a cup of Earl grey. Humming a tune to yourself , you started cooking.

*After 20 minutes*

You felt a pair of hands on your waist and if it wasn't for the fact that you could recognise him just by his scent you'd have beaten the man up . 😅 Just a reflex after that incident because of which you get the nightmares.

"Good morning, darling!" You heard Tom's angelic voice, it sounded deeper as he just woke up.

He placed a kiss on your neck which made you smile.

"Good morning, sweetheart! Breakfast is almost done!"

His heart skipped a beat at the name , you never call him that.

"Mmmm.....I can already smell the delicacy you're whipping up ! What's on the menu?" " Classic english breakfast with a cup of your favourite Earl Grey tea !" you replied. "That sounds wonderful!! Let me help you set the table!" he offered politely. "Sure, thanks!"

As he helped you set the table up, you plated the breakfast.

"Bon appétit !!"

A contented moan escaped his lips as he took the first bite and hell if you wouldn't kill to hear that sound again....

" Mmmm ....you are an amazing cook , darling!! It's the best breakfast I've ever had! Scrumptious!!" He praised you with a heart warming smile.

" I'm glad you like it, Tom !! But hey - you yourself are a great cook !" you said . "Not as good as you!" He protested "Oh, come on!" you chuckled , a blush rising up your cheeks.

"Holy Shit!!! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE !!!!!" you said as you looked at the time. "Late to what, darling?" He said, totally clueless. "COLLEGE!" You replied. For some reason, he started laughing. " Why . Are. You. Laughing. Tom !!????" Somehow, this made him laugh even harder. " You didn't check the emails , did you?? " He said.

As you picked up the phone, you saw an email from your college informing that all the classes are cancelled for this week. "Ohh.......... sorry" you said , completely crimson from blushing. "It's perfectly fine, dear! Plus, do you know that you look cute when you're angry?"

This made you blush even harder, if that was possible......."Come on !!!" you said.."I'm merely stating what's true" said he . This made you chuckle, "Thank you, sweetheart!"

*After the breakfast*

"Y/N ??" He said while you were making a presentation on your laptop for a project ...so, you hummed in response. "Uhh.... If you don't mind me asking......" he trailed off, so you looked him in the eye and asked - " What is it that's bothering you, Tom ?" " It's just.....last night......as you were having that nightmare, you were asking me to tell someone to stay away....... who's that ?" he inquired, his voice full of concern.

You felt like your heart has stopped beating, your face went pale and you started sweating. "Uhh..........unmm...I-I .......i-it....." you tried to say something but failed as you felt a lump in your throat.

"Hey - Hey , it's fine, darling! You don't need to tell me if it troubles you ! " He got up and brought some water for you . "Here, have some water " ......

"I'm so sorry for the sudden outburst..... it's just - " you tried to explain, only to be interrupted by him "It's okay sweetheart, you don't need to explain!" He softly stated. "Wanna watch a movie?" he asked to distract you from that grief of the nightmare.

"Sure!" you said. Both of you then proceed towards the home theatre he had.

"Choose the genre, dear " he said. "Umm ....... what about a thriller or maybe even horror?" you suggested. "Up for a thrill , are we ?" said he .

You guys decided to go with "The Shining" a classic. He even made some popcorn and got a few cans of cold-drinks .

*Sometime into the movie*

You clutched onto Tom for dear life and hid your face against him as one of the scariest scenes came . The fact that you were watching it for the first time didn't help at all . "Do you want me to put something else?" He cooed slowly. "No, it's fine, thank you for asking!'

*After the movie*

"Good Lord , that was amazing, awfully scary.... but amazing!" You chimed in to which he chuckled, "I'm glad you like it, darling!" He said and kissed you on the cheeks which made you blush. You did not see that coming.

"Oh my ! It's 12:30pm !! I must go now!" you exclaimed. "Please stay for lunch..." said Tom. "Trust me, Tom ... I'd love to but I really have to go..." ofcourse, he did try to make you stay but you had to go .... " ........fine ! Let me drop you, at least!" "That would be a great help!" you said. " Oh come on, darling!"

*After the he dropped you off*

You were still sitting in his car , in front of your apartment...... which was apparently locked . Y/B/F/N must still be with JK.....

"Tom?" "Yes, darling.." "Would like to join me for lunch, please?" "I'd love to, darling, but as you know the weather conditions are rather.... harsh. I better get going before it gets worse." He said refering to the windy weather.. "But-" you were interrupted by his lips on yours ...."Some other day, darling, I promise" he said.

"Okay......." you said, not fully agreed. "Come on, like I said, it's a promise!" he said and chuckled. "Fine. I must go, then..." you replied. "What if you grab your essentials and stay at mine?" he suggested.

Chuckling, you said, "Tom, I..umm...you know, I....I can't...plus Y/B/F/N would be alone if I do so.... thanks though " you smiled ... "Okay......but text me if you need anything, no need to go out in this wheather" 'Okay, so it's official. He is the sweetest man in the universe.' you thought.

"You're so sweet !!!!!!!" you said, placing a kiss on his cheeks and you could swear you saw him blush. 'and the cutest too' you continued your previous thought.

"I'll get going, now . Bye, Tom" "Goodbye , darling!" You opened the gate of his car and stepped out, waving to him one last time before making your way towards the door of your apartment.

After a few minutes your best friend also returned.

"Y/N , I'm home !" she called out . "Oh, hey !! How did it go ?" you said. "AMAZING!!!!" She exclaimed. "Well, that's great. But I need the whole story" you said and chuckled. "Done!" said your best friend, chuckling.

The next few days went normally.

Time skip......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*MONDAY*

You were qurrently getting ready for the classes and the first one was English.

Outfit of the day👆🏻

You paired your dress with a black overcoat as it was cold outside.

"Let's go, shall we?" you asked your best friend. "Totally" she replied.

On your way, you guys grabbed a cup of coffee and headed towards your destination...

English Lecture

You sitting on one of the front benches with your best friend. You both were a bit early so no one else was there yet .....as you took a sip of your coffee, you heard the door open and what you saw made you choke on your drink.....

"Good morning, professor" said your best friend. "Good morning, Miss Carter. Um, Y/N you okay?"

You could almost sense a smirk on his face at your obvious reaction.

Okay!? The man literally changed his hair colour and then he's asking you if you're 'okay' ? As if he wasn't already enough he had to change his hair to Black didn't he? And the cherry on top was the outfit he chose.....a blue knitted sweater with a pair of black slacks.

( they could've been a bit less 'tight')

Holy Fuck.

" Y-yes I'm good, thanks!" you reply not so 'swiftly' . "Oh, that's better"....

"Mornin', d- Miss Y/L/N" he said after a slightly awkward stop....and you could tell that Y/B/F/N was trying her best not to laugh, roll her eyes or even grin.

"Good morning, professor!" you said blushing

You couldn't have been more grateful for the lack of audience .

As the students started entering and the class begun, you tired your best to not be distracted by the new change.

*Later in Tom's office*

"You seem to like this, huh?" he said refering to his new hair colour which was totally unexpected as he was the ever subtle one.

"I-I.....uhh...." you were more blushing than talking, earning a chuckle from him.

"Don't worry darling, I won't bite...... unless you ask me to, ofcourse" he said with a smirk and you could swear he winked.

Ok, so now it's official. He is acting a bit different today. You quite liked it, tbh.

You gulped. You just gulped.

"Anyways, my beloved what are your plans for Christmas?" he asked switching the topic like a light switch. "Uh....umm..well, Y/B/F/N is going out with her family so I guess I'll have to either go with her or spend it alone"

"You're not spending it with your family?" he asked "I never met my actual parents.....my aunt brought me up and she too passed a few years ago" you said, tears welling in your eyes but you quickly hide them. "...... I'm so sorry...... What if you stay with me?For Christmas?" he asked "Um...I beg your pardon"

"How about you spend Christmas with me?"

*********************

A/N : Hey mortals!! I know this chapter is a bit short.... sorry....I have a news for you guys,I won't be writing or posting anything for the next one month as I have a lot to work on...... again, I apologise.

Taglist: @holdmytesseract @dishahaldar @lotsoflokilove23 @jennyggggrrr @imlokisgloriouspurpose

[xiaq]

(this can be answered publicly) Hey X, pardon me if you’ve answered this before, but I was just curious on how you ended up transitioning from academia to tech and what role you started with in tech? Also, so you have any advice for someone looking to break into tech from a non-STEM background? Thank you!

Hey! I haven't answered it publicly but it's a popular question, so I will now (warning, long answer is long).

So I was so fed up with academia for sundry reasons I won't get into here but I wanted a career that would allow me to A. retire some day (something that paid generally well), B. would allow me some measure of work/life balance without high stress, and C. Would ideally let me use my communication/writing/speaking/presenting skills in some way.

My parents and my partner all work in tech and were like, "did you know that we desperately need people with your skillsets in the tech world?" and my partner, who works in technical sales was like, "You would kill at my job, I am not lying." And I was like, every job listing in technical sales that I see requires either a degree I don't have or past experience I don't have, or both, and my mother was like "Do you know how many mediocre resumes from unqualified men come across my desk? Apply for the damn positions anyway." So I reworked my resume to focus on applicable skills/experiences and wrote a cover letter for each position I applied to saying "hey, I know I'm an odd candidate but let me tell you why that's a good thing." And I got a lot of positive responses!

I was interviewing at 2 different tech places when I accepted the offer for my job now. I had an initial screening call interview with HR, then a zoom interview with the hiring manager, and then I was given access to a limited demo environment and had a week to teach myself the software and put together a demo for a fake customer which I did for the hiring manager (my future boss), one of my current peers, and the VP of the org. I was offered the job the same night I did my fake demo. So in total it was a 2 week interview process, and I started working 2 weeks later. **

I'm a pre-sales solutions consultant, which basically means I'm paired with a sales guy who does all the money and business value talk with customers, while I get to learn about a customer's data problems and then demo for them how our products can address those problems.

The learning curve was (and still is) steep. But it was basically like going back to school, and I've always loved learning new things. The job is super fun. It fulfills all of my wants I listed above with the added bonus of being completely remote (aside from occasional travel to meet with customers for in-person demos). The people I work with are supportive, management is communicative and constantly giving me feedback/talking about my trajectory. I've won internal awards, already received two raises and one promotion and I haven't even been there a year. I'm making more than double what I did as a professor and the concept of retirement doesn't feel like a laughable pipe dream anymore. I miss teaching a lot, but I'm healthier, happier, and better prepared for the future now. And my work is genuinely fulfiling because I'm showing people how they can fix problems. Also, playing with data management software and putting together custom demos is neat. It's like all the best parts of a college project--research, making a preso, knocking everyone's socks off while giving the preso, but I'm getting paid for it. I'm glad I followed my mom's advice.

So I guess my advice is the same as hers: even if you're not "qualified," apply for the position anyway. Make custom cover letters for each position and if there's not a way to include the letter with the app, do some googling and find the hiring manager on LinkedIn and message/email them. The person who hired me said that my cover letter was what got me the initial interview. So that shit works. If you have friends or family working somewhere with open positions, use those connections. Having an internal referral will go a long way to getting your resume looked at. I know we're all like, boo nepo babies, but networking is a huge part of any industry. Use it to your advantage if you have the advantage (no, I'm not working for my parent's companies, but if there'd been an open position I was interested in, I would have applied for it. No shame).

**I also, on the side, applied for the Austin Fire Department because why not. After a whole lot of mental and physical prep, I was accepted to the academy (in the first class, no less, holla) right before I was offered my current job. But I had to be realistic and say that probably wasn't a good long-term career option for someone who is 110lbs and was barely meeting the physical testing requirements who also has issues with getting overwhelmed in high-input sensory situations. So. Into the tech world I went. This side note just to say, I was keeping my options very open and there's nothing wrong with that either, lol.

I hope this helps!

[savventeen]

OOH IF YOU'RE STILL TAKING ASKS FOR THE TROPE THING can i get vernon and like you two are assigned partners on an art project but he's awful at art LMFAO okay thank love you xx

JJ BELOVED HI HELLO I AM FINALLY GETTING AROUND TO THIS <333333

okay first of all i LOVE this idea skfjllkdfl this would definitely be a fun, comedic, romcom nonsense fic hehehe

i'm picturing this being set in like, a fucking calculus class and this project is the professor's way of trying to "bring more creativity to the sciences" or whatever. and vernon's just like. 'dude. how on earth is making a collage...sculpture...thing... supposed to help me learn calculus???' no one in the class really gets it either, since they can just, you know, do the math without having to create anything. but whatever, a little arts n crafts never hurt anyone [spoiler alert: it maybe hurts someone *cough*vernon*cough* a little at some point]

anyway, vernon ends up being partnered up with reader who, thank god, actually has an idea for what they can do for their project and also talks like someone who knows about art. in fact, they seem really into art and like, super pumped for this project. which is great! except, they're also really cute? and like, they're maybe kinda sorta the person he's been lowkey crushing on from afar since last semester???

and because having a crush sometimes makes you say/do stupid things, he tells reader that he can totally help with the art portion, easy peasy. [narrator voice: it was not, in fact, easy peasy] queue montage of the week leading up to when they're supposed to meet up again: - vernon desperately watching all kinds of youtube videos trying to learn how to Art™️ - him walking into a Michael's and just being so lost and overwhelmed that he just. has a bit of an existential crisis in the fabric section - he somehow manages to accidently cut himself with a pair of scissors while trying to do some kind of papercraft thing and has to go to the nurse's office. - his roommate (let's make it chan for funsies) is convinced that he's having some kind of mental breakdown "hyung, i don't know what to do, he's just staring at a pile of children's playdough like it holds the secrets of the universe. or maybe like it killed his pet goldfish. i don't know, he's just being weird."

all of this leads up to when reader and vernon meet up again to present their 'prototypes' of the art part of the project so they can decide which they like better and then start actually working on it. reader is already at the cafe they agreed to meet at, and vernon (sleep deprived and already overly caffeinated) walks up to where reader is sitting, drops his sad attempt at art on the table, and blurts "i lied about being good at art because you're really cute and it broke my brain a little bit and i'm actually really, really bad at it. i'm so sorry." and then he fucking WALKS AWAY because he's a LOSER and you were extra cute today and his brain is still a bit broken and reader ends up having to chase him down the street, his shitty attempt at art clutched in one hand, to tell him that it's fine, they can handle the art part as long as he does his fair share of the math

"and like. maybe i could, teach you? sometime? if you want to learn, that is. and i'm not the best artist, but i've taught some summer camp classes before, and—" / "wait, you'd really wanna do that? after seeing how bad at it i am?" / "well... it means i'd get to spend some extra time with you outside of school, so... yeah"

vernon of course readily agrees, and they start going on little art dates together (and yes, they're Date dates bc vernon finally gets his shit together and asks them out) and they get a solid B- on the project bc while reader is great at art, turns out neither of them are the best at math rip </3

[send me a person and a trope/au and i'll tell you what kind of plot i'd write for them]

[bellysoupset]

Not a lot of emeto, mostly just tooth rotting fluff.

----------------

Leo was practically buzzing with happiness. Today had been a roller coaster of a day.

He was supposed to present his graduating thesis to a group of 4 senior teachers in order to officially be able to graduate and take the bar exam. It had taken many hours of editing to cut down his astounding 89 pages back to 40 and Leo had been sleeping poorly for a week now.

He had spent the better part of that morning dry heaving over the dorm's toilet and then hadn't been able to stomach breakfast, which lead him to be shaky and dizzy by the time it was his turn to present.

However he had passed with flying colors. The relief had been so grand that Leo had staggered back and nearly fallen, causing one of the senior teachers to chuckle and stabilize him back on his feet, telling him "don't die now that you're so close, Mr. Wagner."

Once he was out of the presenting room, everything hit him at once: he was starving, dehydrated probably and he had just officially graduated. All he needed to do now was participate in the ceremony, but the important part was over.

Jonah had been pacing outside of the law building, looking just as nervous as Leo had felt just then and the blonde all but ran to him, throwing his arms around his boyfriend's neck, "I passed! I PASSED!"

Jon had kissed him, PDA be damned, smiling against his mouth, "of course you passed," his voice was so terribly soft, it had nearly sent Leo flat on his back. He loved when he could see these little glimpses of Jon, that normally were confined to the privacy of the bedroom, out in the open.

"I'm so proud of you," Jon pressed his forehead to his, hazel eyes sparkling "and I think we should celebrate."

And then the second part of his day began. While Leo was still bubbling with happiness, by the time Jon met him outside of the restaurant, he could tell that his boyfriend's excitement from earlier had fizzled out.

In fact, it looked like he didn't want to be there at all.

Much to Leo's displeasure, Jonah was hardly meeting his eye and he had reduced his answers to monosyllables, effectively killing all conversation halfway through dinner.

"Are you okay?" Leo snapped, feeling more than a little wounded. He was so happy, he just wanted Jonah to act like it too.

Jon looked up from his untouched plate, seeming surprised, "I'm sorry?"

"Are you okay? Are you feeling alright?" Leo squinted at him.

He frowned, nodding, "I am..."

"Then what's going on?" annoyance flared up, this was his celebratory night and he did not want to spend it playing charades about what had pissed off Jonah, "you're acting weird."

"I'm not," Jonah shook his head, although he seemed weirdly out of it, "I'm fine, I'm just- I am fine. Tell me what did Professor Clarke say about your thesis?"

Successfully distracted, Leo started to retell, probably for the third time, how Professor Clarke had called his thesis "original" and asked if he didn't want to join his research group.

It seemed him calling out Jon's attention had done the trick, because now he was enthralled in the conversation. Still refusing to touch his food and drinking champagne too fast for Leo's liking, but at least he was actively participating in the celebratory aspect of the night.

"I thought I was going to pass out," Leo giggled, "really, even though Dr. Miriam told me to calm down, I just thought- I messed ever-"

"Leo," Jon's voice was serious as he interrupted, causing the blonde to frown.

"Yeah? I'm sorry, I know I'm repeating myself, I just can't shut up tonight, I'm too-"

"Leo, I... Would you... Do you-" Jon shook his head, then gulped down, "...Excuse me."

The last line was said hastily, as Jonah cupped his mouth and shoot up, staggering to the gentlemen's toilet, much to Leo's absolute shock. He blinked, staring at the vacant spot.

Had Jon been sick all night? Had he missed some glaringly obvious sign?

Slowly Leo collected himself, walking to the bathroom and entering. It was empty, so he could perfectly hear as Jonah heaved, inside of the last stall.

"Jon..." Leo frowned, knocking on the closed door, only to find it wasn't locked as it opened.

He expect to find Jonah crumbled down, on his hands and knees, but instead he was standing, a hand pressed to his mouth, breathing deeply through his nose. Perspiration clinging to his temple.

"Hey, babe," Leo frowned, reaching in and undoing his tie, rolling it and stuffing it inside his pocket, then undoing the first button of his shirt so Jonah could breathe better, "what's wrong with your tummy? Did you eat something off?"

Jonah shook his head no, gagging against his fist and removing his hand in time to burp a thin stream of saliva in the toilet. He straightened up again, coughing.

"Sorry..."

"No, it's okay," Leo frowned, flushing the toilet. It was empty, he doubted Jonah had managed to throw up at all, "was this too much champagne?"

Jon winced as the item came to mind, but despite belching thickly on his fist, he shook his head no, "just..." he gulped down, "just nerves. Give me a minute."

Technically Leo was aware that nerves messed up with Jonah's stomach, he had mentioned it before. However Leo had never seen it happen, so this took him by surprise.

"Aw baby," he cooed, rubbing his boyfriend's arm, "take a deep breath, everything's alright."

Jonah opened his eyes, hazel filled with amusement, "don't do that," he said with a rough voice, a tired smile painting his lips, "can you get me some water? I'm-" he gagged briefly, once again breathing deeply in, "I really just need a minute alone."

"Of course..." Leo pouted. When he was sick because of nerves, Jonah's comfort helped. It calmed him down like nothing else, so Leo felt terribly useless that Jon didn't want this comfort returned.

He walked out of the bathroom, ordered two bottles of water, one sparkly, one flat, unsure of what Jon preferred and then waited. After five minutes passed without Jonah being back, he requested the check and then looked at the hour. He'd give the man five more minutes before going back to the bathroom.

Just as Leo was starting to lose his patience, Jonah walked out of the bathroom and back to the their table. He opened an apologetic smile, reaching for the flat water.

"I'm sorry about that."

"Don't apologize," Leo frowned, studying his face. He didn't look nauseous anymore, but still mildly spooked, "what's making you anxious? Talk to me."

"Nothing bad, I promise," Jonah took a large gulp of water, then grimaced, "I wanted to do this in a much better fashion."

"Do what?" Leo was beyond confused, only for Jon to take his hands on his over the table. He squeezed Leo's hand in his as the blonde attempted to pull back, startled.

"Jon-"

"Move in with me?" Jonah brought up Leo's hand to his mouth, planting a kiss on his knuckles, "I know you're looking for a place now that the dorms accommodations are gonna be over and I... I don't want you to move anywhere else, I want you to move in with me. I wanna wake up next to you every day..."

"I... Yes! Yes, of course!" Leo lurched forward, toppling over the empty champagne flute and swallowing the rest of Jonah's words with a kiss, "of course, yes!"

"Yeah?" Jon had a silly smile on, moving his hands from where they were still holding Leo's near his chest and cupping his face, "we need to talk-"

"Yeah we can talk logistics later," Leo rolled his eyes, pressing his forehead to his, "or the fact that we're getting rid of that horrible rug in the living room."

"The white rug?" Jonah cried out, only for Leo to huff and kiss him again, a huge smile tugging at his lips.

"Yeah, the white one."

[hauntedwitch04]

Thin jacket in October

🎃Halloween party🎃

Steve Harrington x reader 

Words: about 1k words 

Warning: none, just pure fluff and our lovely Stevie 

Author’s note: Here my first da of my Halloween party. I know that I’m late, just decided to do this special at the last second. Hope you like this, I know it’s note my best work. With love, your Becky<33

 ✒️: “You can’t go out with such a thin jacket in October, you gonna get a cold!”

Requests are open I  Ask  I  My masterlist   I  Join the Taglist

You couldn't believe you could feel that cold already in early October, yet there you were. You had left the house in a hurry, remembering that you had to pick up your sister Max from the D&D game at the last minute. After weeks and weeks of psychological pressure from Dustin, your sister had finally decided to participate in a flash campaign that was going to take place just today, to see if she liked it. She had made you promise that if she didn't like it she would call you and you would pick her up right away, no matter the excuse or whatever, and all you could do was say yes, but apparently she must have liked it if there was no distress call. This whole thing, however, leads you to now be in the car, freezing, just wearing a sweater, waiting for them to come out. You are immersed in your thoughts and you don't notice that someone is next to the window of your car , until that person knocks gently. You turn jerkily with your heart racing, thinking it might be who knows who, finding instead only a wild Steve Harrington smiling faintly at you. You smile back at him and get out of the car, to greet him. 

When you first came to Hawkings and heard about the great Steve Harrington, you thought he was the usual school bully, with rich but absent parents, and who enjoyed talking back to professors and getting bad grades, and he probably was too, and in part still is sadly so since his parents are so present that he could be compared to an orphan. Something changed, however, on that fateful night when you killed the demogos: you, him, and a gang of twelve-year-old boys. That night you discovered a different Steve, and almost magically, you couldn't help but become friends. At first Billy wasn't too happy about your friendship, but seeing how good it made you feel, he decided to turn a blind eye to the fact that it was Harrington, all because he loved you. 

Since his father left home, after betraying your mother, he had decided to stay with you and help you, doing what he could and becoming the man of the house. Now the atmosphere in the family is definitely better, and everything seems to be going well. 

Well, everything except your love life, since it seems that the one guy you are interested in sees you as nothing more than a friend. Billy and Max often tease you about your obvious crush on Steve, which instead of disappearing over the years as you had hoped, had done nothing but grow. 

"Hey, if you had told me, I would have given Max a ride, too, as well as Dustin." Steve says, leaning against your car next to you. You blush at the closeness, and suddenly the cold seems to go away as you hope he doesn't notice given the darkness surrounding you. 

"I didn't want to bother you, and besides I was glad to pick her up, you know the first time she's coming to one of these things and she'll be super excited to tell me all about it." You say rolling your eyes, but smiling because deep down you like to see her so happy, since with all the things that have happened at Hawkings recently, and Billy's near death last year, it has shaken her deeply. 

"No problem, I'm more than happy to take her home. It's better than being Henderson's taxi driver, I really can't stand that guy anymore: first babysitter now chauffer." You burst out laughing at his words, and he seems to smile even more at the sound of your laughter. 

"There's nothing to laugh about, I've become like a second mother to those children now, it's heartbreaking." The boy continues chuckling. 

"You say that as if you don't like it." You chuckle teasing him. 

"Don't say it too loud, they might hear you." He whispers in your ear, and you can't help but flinch in goosebumps and shivers from that gesture, continuing to giggle. Steve stops and looks at you for a moment, then takes off his jacket and hands it to you. You look at him with a question mark drawn on your face. 

 “You can’t go out with such a thin jacket in October, you gonna get a cold!” Says Steve with a serious look as he puts the jacket over your shoulders. Your heart warms at his gesture, thinking how a boy who has always suffered so much can still be so sweet and selfless, but your thoughts are interrupted by your sister's voice calling you. 

"Y/N! You won't believe it! I won, my first game and I won!" She shouts happily. Seeing her smile, you can't help but smile too. 

"You did great then, so good that next time I think Dusty-bun won't invite you to play." I say, casting a wink at the boy behind her, who is evidently sulking. 

"There's no point in picking on me with that nickname, because until proven otherwise the one who was flirting with Steve until two seconds ago was you my dear." He says as he approaches his friend's car. Steve and I quickly walk away, embarrassed, and say a quick goodbye making stupid excuses like having to run away because they were waiting for us. 

As you get into the car you realize you still have his jacket on, so you make to twist it off and he immediately stops you. 

"You keep it. It looks much better on you than it did on me anyway." He says, giving you a wink. You get into the car as you feel your cheeks get hot. 

"I told Eddie he doesn't stand a chance. Your heart belongs to Steve." Max says mocking you as you throw a punch at her, intimating her to shut up. 

"If after what I've seen, he doesn't ask you out by next week, Billy and I are authorized to beat him up." She continues, and you can't help but smile, continuing to think about the boy who stole your heart.

[alaffy]

Riverdale 7x20 - Goodbye, Riverdale (Spoilers)

Jesus, this was depressing. After seven years, Riverdale comes to an end. And I can absolutely guarantee that nobody ever expected it to end like this. That being said, while this is not the ending I would have chosen, I also can't say I dislike this ending. We watched these character going through year after year of hell and the fact that most of them have a good life and there is a happy-ish ending to this...well, I'm content with it. Riverdale, for me, probably will be the first four seasons, but I don't hate this ending.

Anyway, we start with an Eight Six year old Betty who's learned Jughead has passed away. Betty is now the last of the gang to survive. Betty wants to visit Riverdale one last time and her granddaughter promises to take her there the next day. That night Betty is visited by Angel/Writer Jughead who takes her back to the last day of high school so she can see her friends one last time. During these moments we find out what happened to all of the characters. And I'm just going to go through this real quick.

Ms. Andrews will fall in love with a woman who will live in the with Ms. Andrews until she passes away. Polly will end up having her twins (Juniper and Dagwood). Alice will eventually divorce Hal (I think, my cable screwed up and I missed part of this), become a flight attendant, and marry someone else.

During junior year of high school, Fangs records a hit single and is able to convince Midge's parents to let him marry her. Their happiness is short lived as, not long after high school, Fangs goes out on tour and is killed in a bus accident. Midge and her daughter will live off the royalties of Fang's two songs (right).

Pop's apparently dies before the kids graduate high school. That's the grave Betty is visiting. The writers clearly are choosing violence here.

Clay and Kevin move to Harlem together. Clay becomes a professor at Columbia (I think) and Kevin opens his own off Broadway production. Kevin will die of old age in his sleep and Clay will pass away a few weeks later sitting on a park bench.

Cheryl and Toni move west and live a more bohemian life. They have a son named Dale (after Riverdale). They will live a long and happy life together.

Reggie will go on to play basketball for the Lakers and then become the coach at Riverdale High. He has two sons who will run the Mantle used car lot. Reggie was buried in Duck Creek.

As for the core four, well they all decide during senior year to all just date each other. Yup. Well, maybe, as we never see anything happen between Archie and Jughead. After high school....

Veronica moves back to LA and becomes a big movie mogul. I don't think it's directly said, but it seems like she was the first of the four to go. I does seem like Betty, at least, looses touch with her over time.

I'm not going to go into the last Barchie scene. While I didn't particularly like that couple, what the writers did in that scene was nothing short of sadistic to those fans. But one could argue that same was done to Bughead and Varchie fans in season four. Anyway, Archie will go out west and find a woman that he decides to settle down with. He lives a long, good life with her and, when he dies, he's buried next to his father.

Jughead will create Jughead's Madhouse Magazine (Mad Magazine) and had a successful life as a writer/editor. He never marries.

Betty also creates her own magazine. (And late '60s/early '70s Betty's look is my favorite Betty look). Betty never married, but she did adopt a daughter. Which she considers her legacy, her family.

Anyway, Angel/Writer Jughead takes Betty back to the present. The next day, Betty's granddaughter takes her to Riverdale. As they pull into Pop's parking lot, the building is for sale, she discovers Betty has died.

But then young Betty steps out of a car as she has been transported to an functioning Pop's Restaurant. Jason is at the door (yep, the actor is back). And everyone is there (well, of the cast that still worked on the show). And as the story ends, Betty joins the other three at the table and in the Hereafter.

Like I said, not the way I imaged the show would ever end. Not the way I would have ended it. Still, it was a very bitter sweet ending. I shed some tears and, yeah, part of me is sad to see it end.

Of course, that part of me will soon be knocked unconscious by my sanity....

[thetonethetollandthethunder]

Arc of A Scythe analysis, chapter 6-10

—

Chapter 6!

-Ooo! This is the chapter we see the new order scythes!!!

-99.9 percent on-time service…stuff like this makes me wish i was in scythe—

-I find it very funny that the middle seat is just as bad as disease and government, Neal always makes this small funny bits intentionally or not

-GODDARD ID RECOGNIZE THAT ROBE ANYWHERE

-Elegy of scythes <3

-This is fucking terrifying though, imagine you’re finally on your way home, you can’t wait to see your family, they’re all waiting for you, all you want is a nice flight home, and then it’s announced you’re gonna die. Thats fucking scary man

-This scene really shows how fucked up Goddard and is Elegy are, how cruel they can be

-Yes business man, gleaning is necessary, but not in this way, this way is just despicable

-Chomsky is too excited for this PUT THE FLAMETHROWER AWAY SIR

-Oh god Goddard is using the word Alpha, do you think he considers himself an alpha male? I do NOT wanna think about that

-“Yet even in dreams I often find myself gleaning…” god almost all scythes must be so fucking traumatized man-

-Jesus what a good chapter, a great way to start the new part!

—

Chapter 7!!

-Faraday is lowkey a good professor, no wonder you high school au freaks like using him for that /hj

-I for one, CAN imagine Faraday with a mace, he’d look fucking awesome

-Banned weapons are encouraged, that is SCARY!!!

-No wonder a lot of scythes (esp young ones in the new order are bloodthirsty, it’s this cycle of encouragement and being exempt from the rules of society, sure the older scythes preach about gleaning with honor but when you’re young, especially around citra and rowan’s age, you’d be hard-pressed to listen and be much more interested in the bloodsports of Goddard. That’s how he gets you!!!

-Also as someone who has started journaling my scythe journal would be UNREADABLE I have AWFUL handwriting

-Killing 5 people a week, and 260 a year is INSANE!! Again it’s no wonder a lot of scythes are so desensitized to this shit, and even revel in it, you kind of have to, just for your own sanity

-“Good scythes don’t get days off.” *COUGH COUGH* GODDARD *COUGH COUGH*

-“The idea that not all scythes were good was something neither Rowan or Citra had ever considered. It was widely accepted that scythes adhered to the highest moral and ethical standards. Even the ones who sought celebrity were seen to deserve it.” OHH YOU FUCKERS HAVE NO IDEA I LOVE WHEN I HAVE FORESIGHT THE CHARACTERS IN THEIR CURRENT PRESENT TIME DONT!!!!

-“If you do not cry yourself to sleep on a regular basis, you are not compassionate enough to be a scythe.” OUGH THAT LINEEEEE!!!!

-“She doubted rowan cried himself to sleep.” It all happens on the inside, citra!

-“I prefer to see each person I glean as an individual deserving of an end that is unique.” I love how the first book shows how compassionate and truly worthy of the title Scythe Faraday is. It’s that compassionate that makes him stay as one even after the title is gone. Because that’s what he truly is.

-“I find fire a horrific way to glean and would never use it.” ROWAN WOULD DISAGREE OHOHOHOOOOO—

-Its here where I think Rowan gets a lot of his moral code, or at least starts to think about it, to him Faraday is a model scythe, the scythe anyone should strive to be, and when he eventually sees scythes the complete opposite of him, his way of thinking as Scythe Lucifer becomes more clear.

-“I am an accomplice to the world’s oldest crime, and it will only get worse.” AAAA THAT LINE MAN

-“All they do is play games and watch cat holograms.” Oh Neal you really don’t know shit about how people actually use technology—

-I think me and Rowan would have similar handwriting (bad)

-“Rowan found it increasingly hard to parse his feelings about her.” ROWAN FELL FIRST AND HE FELL HARD MAN!!!!!!!!!

-Ben mention :(((((

-This entry of Curie’s journal really fucking hits you man!!! Especially the “I don’t know” at the end like UGH!!!!

-AMAZING CHAPTER AS ALWAYS!!! It’s really laying the groundwork for future character development!

—

Chapter 8!!!

-We get some foreshadowing to Citra’s gleaning method! The theater part if you can recall!

-Also the “No, I lost. Twice.” Is SO funny

-“It was the only time in all my years as a scythe that I had been thanked for what I do.” And you’ll be thanked SO much more soon Faraday!

-Them becoming more violent and thinking about gleaning is SO interesting esp since its so early, just shows how much it can affect you.

-Foreshadowing to where Rowan chooses which Scythe he chooses to glean when he becomes Scythe Lucifer

-GOD you can FEEL his guilt of having to choose between these 4 people!! How horrible and awful he feels to take their lives away as he learns more UGH

-AND he’s thinking about Bias’s unlike SOMEONE *cough cough* SCYTHE GODDARD *cough cough*

-“Does it ever get easier?” Rowan asked. “I certainly hope not,” the scythe said.

-Bradford Ziller is such a shit name lmao

-Rowan not wanting to admit he’s the one who chose him is soooo!!

-“They had bitten her. Good for them.” HAH that’s such a fun line

-Oop! There’s an error on my copy of the book! There’s a quotation mark at the end of “How was any of this fair?” When there shouldn’t be because it’s not dialogue! Interesting right?

-Even if he has a stupid name, you can really feel the terror and panic on Bradford, really good stuff

-The fact he wants to be aware and awake when he dies is sooo interesting man

-Rowan and Citra’s love is continuing to blossom!!

-“I fear for all of us if scythes begin to love what they do.” *STARES AT GODDARD*

-Amazing chapter as always!! Two more to go!!

—

Chapter 9!!

-Esme!! I always remember her being an underutilized character, let’s see if I was right though!

-Idk why but I hate mentions of food, esp greasy foods in books, makes me ick a lot idk I’m weird

-“Well, she could learn self-control tomorrow. Today she wanted pizza.” ICONIC LINE!! Such a mood!

-Luigi mario :)

-Elegy of scythes are back!!!

-Oh Esme there’s gonna be *so* many mass gleanings later on you have NO idea

-VOLTA

-Esme you’re life is gonna be FUCKED GIRL YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!

-A utopia where everything is perfect would be boring, most ppls lives in Scythe are boring, that’s what I think makes Scythe interesting compared to other dystopian books because its a utopia that turns into a dystopian whilst giving ideas of how that utopia itself was already a dystopia even if it wasn’t a tradition one

-Shorter chapter! Still good tho, not as interesting as others however

—

CHAPTER 10!!!!!

-TYGER!!

-Rowan you’re scaring people—

-Rowan’s disobedience is what makes him soooo interesting to me mam!!

-Lmao Rowan is worried about Tyger stealing Citra, already getting jealous!

-Apparently ppl ship Citra and Tyger which…I don’t see??? At all????

-We get some more Citra-Rowan interactions!! Very nice!!! Makes my Citran heart happy <3

-Emo-Nanites <3

-“We are not the same beings we once were. So then, if we are no longer human, what are we?” UGH ANOTHER GOOD LINE!!

-Another short chapter though not as short as the last one! Liked it more than the last though!

—

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, but here’s the next 5 chapters, those last two chapters didn’t have much but everything else was great as always!! Next time we’ll be doing chapters 11-15! Hope you’ll join me for it!!!

[rosepetalsinwinter]

Meant to Be — Bucky Barnes (2)

Chapter 2 — Nathan Acosta

Pairing: mafia!bucky x innocent!reader

Word count: 8,273

Summary: Our stalker is getting bolder. Will he finally get what he wants?

Warning: slight substance abuse

Note: Not my best work. I apologize in advance.

Ao3│Wattpad│Ko-fi

Main Masterlist│Series Masterlist│Series Playlist

Chapter 1 — Chapter 2 — Chapter 3

“Yet each man kills the thing he loves, By each let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word, The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword!”

— Oscar Wilde

April 23, 2018

“You’re smiling like a dork.” A masculine voice interrupted the girl’s fantasy, making her stand straighter. Her smile, however, did not waver. “Did you finally find that limited edition of The Hobbit you were looking for?”

Dove and Peter were lounging on the tiny loveseat in the corner of the room, watching what sounded like a horror movie—if the blood-curdling screams were any indication—on Dove’s laptop. Even sitting, Peter appeared tall, with his long legs perched on the coffee table, taking up most of the space. His light brown hair skimmed the top of his ears, and his lips stretched into a lazy grin.

Peter often spent his days at their dorm, wanting to be as close to Dove as possible. The two were still in their honeymoon phase—had been since they got together, and were constantly attached to each other. It was something the girl could never have but always wanted… until now. Now, her ideal life seemed a bit closer than before. Close enough to see and maybe skim teasingly with the tip of her fingers.

It was laughable to think that when the girl and Peter first met, he inexplicitly asked her out, then Dove strutted in through the door of the café, loudly cursing one of her professors out.

Peter liked to think it was love at first sight. Dove did as well, though she pretended not to.

What first felt awkward and uncomfortable was now as normal as the colour of the sky. The girl considered Peter a brother and Dove a sister.

Dove pushed Peter’s arm away from her shoulders and sat up to properly look at her friend. “No,” she smirked mischievously, “she’s smiling because her date went well.”

The girl bit her lips harder to stop from giggling like a schoolgirl. She wrapped her arms around her waist and plopped down on the rocking chair across from her friends.

“Tell me I’m right!” Dove demanded excitedly, shouting in earnest when she received a shy nod.

“Date? Who went on a date?” Peter questioned.

Both girls burst into giggles, unable to hold back their excitement. “I did! Can you believe it?”

“What?” Peter’s eyes widened almost comically. “When?”

“Would you like to know the where and why too?” Dove snarked.

“Yeah, and don’t forget the who!” Peter hissed, making Dove roll her eyes.

“When?” the girl replied. “Just now. And where? The Lounge on Discovery Street. Why?... because he asked me.” She burst into another round of giggles.

“Who asked you?” Peter demanded impatiently, tapping his foot on the ground, his chest puffed unnaturally in a display of robust manliness. “I wanna see meet him.”

Dove snorted at his reaction. “Alright, you can drop the big brother act. It doesn’t suit you.”

Peter ignored her, averting all his attention to the girl. “Who?” he repeated.

She took a deep breath, trying and failing miserably to keep the excitement from her voice. “Nathan.”

“Choi?” Peter’s face seemed to relax. “He’s a cool guy. I cheated off of him for my International Relations midterm.”

The girl made a face. “But he took Abnormal Psychology with me. I remember because he did a presentation about Project Monarch, and a guy started crying during it.”

Dove snapped her fingers. “You didn’t sleep at all that week. We built a fort in my room and binge-watched Harry Potter!”

“He used visuals! It was scary!” She shook her head. It didn’t matter. “He couldn’t have taken International Relations with you if he was busy traumatizing Abnormal Psychology.”

Peter scratched the back of his head. “I failed it last semester. So I had to retake it.”

The girls stared at him in shock. Peter had never failed a class before.

“The course never made sense to me!” Peter defended. “Choi did me a solid by turning his paper toward me when he noticed me peeking. He’ll take good care of you. I promise.”

Dove broke out of her shock first by snorting in disbelief. “She didn’t go out with Nathan Choi.”

“Then?”

“I went with Nathan Acosta,” the girl answered.

Peter went deathly still the second she finished speaking. “What?” he gritted out, though the girls seemed oblivious to the tension festering inside him.

“You know him,” chimed Dove. “He’s on the Hockey team.”

“You went out with Nathan Acosta?” Peter clarified.

“Yes,” she told him.

“Acosta? Not Choi?”

Gradually, the girl noticed the tenseness in her friend's jaw, and the anger in his eyes. She swallowed hard. “I’m going out with him again. Tomorrow.”

Dove screeched with happiness, bouncing on the couch like a little kid, but Peter only became bolder and more assertive. “No, you’re not,” he told her.

“What?” the girl asked in confusion.

“You’re not going out with him.”

Even Dove was confused and had no words for once.

“What do you mean?” The girl asked with a nervous laugh.

“He’s bad news, Kitty. Acosta’s not a good guy,” Peter explained.

“Bullshit,” Dove finally spoke up. “He’s my friend. He doesn’t have a single bad bone in his body.”

Peter grit his teeth together. “That’s what he wants you to think. He’s an asshole.”

“Right, because you two are such good friends,” Dove said sarcastically. “You would know his character.”

“You think I’m lying?” Peter snapped, patience running thin. “Why the fuck would I do that?”

“The fuck am I supposed to know? You got in a stupid fight with him last year. Maybe you’re still pissed.”

“What fight?” the girl asked. “What are you talking about?”

“Nothing,” Dove replied, “it was just a misunderstanding.”

Peter scoffed. “It wasn’t a fucking misunderstanding. That fucker knew exactly what he was doing.”

Voices got loud, the language offensive, and the girl couldn’t help but feel that her friends were keeping something important from her. Dove and Peter bickered back and forth, exchanging harsh opinions and degrading each other.

“What did he do!?” the girl exploded. She was the quiet one, always composed and level-headed, so to witness her screaming in frustration caused both of her friends to trail off in silence.

“Acosta made a pass at Dove,” Peter said evenly. “He implied she would spread her legs for anything that moved.”

Dove scoffed with indignation. She was not shy about her endeavours and found pleasure with a string of various lovers before meeting Peter. “Nathan’s a harmless flirt,” she insisted. “And he jokes about everything. He used to sleep around, but he’s changed. He had a serious girlfriend, but she moved, and he couldn’t do the long-distance.” Dove turned to the girl. “I wouldn’t have encouraged you to go out with him if I thought he would hurt you,” she swore.

That couldn’t be right. Could it?

“Marilyn?” The girl demanded desperately.

“What?”

“The girlfriend,” she explained. “Was her name Marilyn?” The girl swallowed nervously.

“Yeah.”

Oh.

“Why are you asking?” Peter inquired suspiciously.

“No reason,” she lied, speaking calmly while her heart broke in half.

Still, her friends insisted on an explanation. She denied them with a shake of her head, unable to voice what was bothering her.

“She’s the one who broke it off,” Dove explained, thinking her friend was put off by a clingy ex. “Nathan wasn’t too upset and got over it quickly.”

Peter scoffed from beside Dove, but she ignored him. “He doesn’t have any baggage you need to worry about.”

“It’s not that,” the girl insisted.

“Then?” Peter questioned softly.

The answer was right at the tip of her tongue, but saying it aloud would make it real. “Nathan lied to me,” she admitted quietly, then recounted to them her earlier conversation. “Why would he do that?” Her voice wobbled, on the edge of tears.

“Because he’s a son of a bitch,” Peter grumbled.

“That asshole.” Dove readily admitted her mistake, consoling her friend, and the three decided that Nathan was indeed bad news and that the girl would stay away from him. “He doesn’t fucking deserve a kind soul like you.”

She wiped away hot tears as she went to bed, feeling completely and utterly alone. Perhaps that was how it was meant to be, and that was how she would die, with no one to call her own.

April 24, 2018

Her brother introduced her to Jim Hawkins when she was six years old. Granted, many could say she was too young to be exposed to such violent storytelling, she immediately fell in love with Treasure Island. It was terrifying, scary, and the vivid imagery kept her up at night, but the allure was too strong.

She begged her brother to read it to her whenever he visited. He would laugh, warn her that he wouldn’t comfort her after (though he always ended up doing so) and read to her in an embarrassing English accent.

He always teased that she would become a pirate when she was older, but it was he who was obsessed. Perhaps he was jealous of young Jim Hawkins and the freedom he had. Eventually, his obsession transferred from Jim to Jim’s creator. Robert Louis Stevenson this, and Robert Louis Stevenson that.

Her brother became a sort of walking encyclopedia on the matter. He walked around spewing information left and right. There was not much she remembered. As a child, she was uninterested in anything that didn’t involve stories of impossible feats and adventures. She did not care why Robert Louis Stevenson wrote Treasure Island, only that he did.

One thing, however, became ingrained in her mind. Her brother chanted it like a mantra. “Sooner or later, everyone sits down to a banquet of consequences.” She did not understand it then, yet she still opted to recite it with him in her squeaky little voice, over and over again, until she had it memorized. It wasn’t until she was much older when she realized that, no, Robert Louis Stevenson did not quote it, and no, it was not about flower arrangements.

It was about actions and their consequences; every action has one. Most times, the consequences of our actions are inconsequential; they rarely affect anything else, but other times, one choice leads to another, and another, and so on, until one can’t recognize where anything begins or ends.

Nathan Acosta was a choice—a bad one—and the girl couldn’t have known that by saying yes to a date with him, she was setting off a series of events that would affect the course of her life. After all, no one thinks twice before crossing the street; arriving a few minutes late to class isn’t life or death, and one date doesn’t set your fate in stone.

Not usually, anyway.

“We should go to the party,” Dove proclaimed. She was furious, having introduced Nathan to her friend, only to have it conclude with the girl in tears. “Take his ego down a peg or two.”

The answer was obvious, was it not? A simple, no, thank you. It was better to keep her distance from him; better to ignore Nathan outright rather than to tease him with her presence and risk further embarrassment. But she was furious. God, was she furious!

It wasn’t an emotion well known to her. Even as a little girl, she was never prone to outbursts of temper—but then again, she was never targeted in such a way before.

The girl had a choice to make. No, was the obvious answer. It was what she meant to say. Dove would encourage her to rethink her decision, “You’ll feel better once you give him a piece of your mind. Show him you're not one to mess with,” but would ultimately leave her be. Never again would the topic be brought up.

No, was the only answer. Instead, the girl said, “yes,” and they spent the next couple of hours getting ready.

She shone in the mirror. Looking at her reflection, the girl didn’t recognize the person staring back at her. This person was strong and confident. She stood tall and smiled prettily, turning her head this way, and that, to admire herself better.

This person was not her. She, who stumbled over words and cried herself to sleep. Who believed the kind words of a lying man only because she felt cold at night and wished for a warm body to lay against.

The girl was not the person who stared back at her in her reflection. But she wanted to be.

Her hair was styled daintily, and her features had been enhanced with makeup. Her lashes were longer, her lips were fuller, and her eyes were brighter. The fabric of her dress was silky against her skin and fit perfectly. It showed a bit more chest than she was comfortable with but was longer than she had been expecting. She took a deep breath and tucked some loose hair behind her ears. Here goes nothing.

The girl wobbled out of the washroom on shaky legs, still adjusting to the uncomfortable heels Dove lent her. Dove shrieked when the girl finally revealed herself. “Oh! You look hot!” She was wearing something similar, shorter, with a different material and style, but the same colour.

“You look beautiful, Dove.”

Dove posed dramatically, one arm in the air and over her head, bent at the elbow, the other placed under her chest, emphasizing the size of her breasts. “Hot enough to get some?” she asked, laughing when the girl stuttered. “Come here.” Dove gave her friend a pair of earrings and a small purse to keep her phone in. “Wait, let me take a selfie. Ready?” she asked.

“No,” the girl murmured after the flash went off. She wasn’t talking about the picture. “No, I’m not.” She fixed the straps of her dress and licked her dry lips. “Let’s go.”

The Delta Kappa Epsilon house, located on the edge of campus, was precisely how she imagined a fraternity to look. Loud and congested, it felt as if the entire student population had forced itself into the two-story landmark. Music blared from speakers placed varyingly across the space, making it hard for her to hear her friend.

Dove shouted unintelligible words in her ear.

“What?” the girl screamed back.

“I said! Do you see Nathan anywhere?”

“No, I don’t need to use the washroom!” the girl shook her head. “But we should keep an eye out for Nathan!”

“I thought so too!” Dove misunderstood. “I’m thirsty. Let’s go!”

Dove walked the two of them to the back of the house, near the kitchen. “Drink?” she asked loudly, wincing at her volume. “Shit, were we screaming out there?”

The girl nodded sympathetically. “I think so. The music’s very loud.”

“Right, well…” Dove moved into the kitchen, and the girl followed. “Pick your poison.”

“You think they have champagne?” she asked incredulously.

“Somehow, I doubt that,” Dove pouted.

The girl barely drank and was picky on the few occasions she did. Not like she had many options. She had an extremely low tolerance and hated the taste of beer. So, champagne it was.

“Frats don’t really fuck with bubbles. There’s tequila, though.”

The girl shrugged. A little liquid courage would have helped, but she wasn’t planning on drinking anyway. “No thanks.”

“Suit yourself,” Dove winked, throwing a shot of tequila back, wincing as the liquid burned going down her throat. “Ah, fuck!” she suddenly exclaimed, staring at something behind her friend’s head. “What is he doing here?”

“Who?” the girl clamoured, twisting her neck to look. Upon realizing who had just entered the kitchen of Delta Kappa Epsilon house, the girl let out a meek little screech and fell to her hands and knees behind the kitchen island.

“Why are you hiding?” Dove asked in a panic, dropping down next to her friend.

“Why am I—Why are you hiding?!” the girl stage whispered.

“Because I promised I wouldn’t do anything stupid, and I’m doing something stupid,” Dove whispered back.

“You promised Nathan you wouldn’t do anything stupid?” the girl questioned incredulously.

“Nathan? No, I’m talking about Peter. Wait!—”

“Peter’s here?—” “Nathan’s here?—” the girls spoke over each other.

“Dove,” the girl said in a hushed tone, “I think we should leave. This was a bad idea.”

What was she thinking? She was going to show up to Nathan’s party and do what? She didn’t have the guts to confront him about his deception and was sure he wouldn't come clean by himself.

”What? No!” Dove exclaimed. “First of all, all three of us promised we wouldn’t go to the party, so if Peter’s here, he broke his promise and can’t be mad at us for breaking ours. Secondly, Nathan is a little bitch for lying to you about his ex, and he deserves the embarrassment I’m going to cause him soon.” Dove extended her hand toward the girl. “So, what do you say? We either do this together or not at all!”

“I don't…” she trailed off when she heard footsteps next to their hiding place, and she peeked her head past the island to get a quick look.

“Okay,” the girl squeaked hastily and shook Dove’s hand when she saw Peter enter the kitchen to grab a drink.

Ignoring her friend’s warning, Dove stood up from behind the island, pulling her friend with her. “Great! All we need now is a…” Dove stood startled for only a few seconds before launching herself into her boyfriend's arms. “Peter! I w-was just looking for you.”

Peter voiced his surprise with a stutter and was just about to confront the two girls when Dove grabbed him by his face and pulled him in for a searing kiss, effectively shutting him up.

Peter was fiercely protective of those he cared about and would not listen to reason if he thought he was in the right. As it was, Dove and she had lied to Peter about their plans for the night, and she could not face him with a guilty conscience.

Peter broke free from Dove’s lips, sucking in heaps of much-needed air. “What are—”

And that was all he managed to say before Dove muttered a breathy, “shut up,” and pulled him back in.

Her right arm left his body to wave wildly behind her, signalling her friend to run. The girl listened obediently and retreated quietly to the main room, where music was blasting and bodies were grinding suggestively on what looked to be a makeshift dance floor.

Like a deer in headlights, she froze, wondering what to do next. This was new territory for her—a house party. From what she knew, it involved a lot of drinking and making out, neither of which the girl was interested in. Should she dance? No, she decided, she would stick out like a sore thumb.

Slowly, she created a plan in her mind. Step one: Find Nathan (it was what she was here for in the first place). Step two… What was step two? Approach him? Talk to him? What was she supposed to do?

Dove had planned everything already; the girl was just tagging along. She prepared some great scheme last night to make Nathan cry in front of all his buddies. Something that involved one of the girls from the debate club, two pies—one apple, one blueberry—swimming goggles, and some other wildly random object the girl couldn’t quite remember.

Someone bumped into her, pushing her onto the dance floor, making her stumble over her feet. Stupid heels. She held onto a random girl to regain her balance, some preppy cheerleader type with blue lashes and bleached brows.

“Watch it!”

The girl was pushed this way and that, unable to keep up with the fast tempo of whatever new hit was currently playing.

Hands grabbed her from all sides, which she tried to evade, though, eventually, one of them landed. They began to drag her away from the dance floor and toward the front door. She dug her heels into the tiled floor and whipped her head around, trying to catch a glimpse of the person holding her captive.

“Hey!” a voice shouted, garnering the attention of everyone in her immediate vicinity. The hand around her waist dropped, making her think she had imagined it. “Kitty!”

Nathan Acosta pushed through the now small crowd—small, because they all parted for him like the Red Sea—and stopped in front of the girl.

“You came!” he exclaimed with relief. “Let’s go somewhere quiet?”

She would’ve denied him if it weren’t for their surroundings. People were staring, whispering, wondering what the captain of the hockey team was doing talking to a girl like her. She, too, had wondered the same but chose to ignore the answer, that, no, he would not be talking to a girl like her. Now, look where that got her.

The girl nodded reluctantly, not wanting to be alone with Nathan but not wanting to be surrounded by a crowd either. Nathan guided her toward the stairs and took her to a large room. Hockey memorabilia decorated the white walls and the dresser, but the space was otherwise empty, save for a double bed pushed to one corner. She paused at the door, but Nathan encouraged her inside. “I just wanna talk.”

The girl kept her eyes trained on the ground as she sat down on the soft comforter. “What did you wanna talk about?” she was going to ask, but Nathan beat her to it.

“I have a confession to make,” he blurted, interrupting the girl’s intense staring match with the black carpet.

“What?”

He looked nervous. He was biting his lip and tapping his foot on the ground, almost to the point of annoyance. “I lied to you about something. Something I shouldn’t have lied about, and now I regret it.”

Her heart thrummed in her ears. “What did you lie about?”

Nathan shook his head and breathed out in exasperation. “Before I tell you, you have to know that it was because you scared me.”

The girl blinked slowly. She scared Nathan? That couldn’t be right.

“You scared me to death, Kitty. I mean, you’re so different from any of the girls I’ve been with before that nothing I normally do seemed to work with you. I brag about a game I won or a scout I impressed? They eat it all up. I shower them with compliments? They melt right at the spot. But you?…”

Nathan ran a hand through his hair and sighed in frustration. “Nothing I did impressed you. So I panicked.”

“But you never panic!” the girl exclaimed, overcome by the admission.

“I know. You made me panic, Kitty.” And he gazed at her with such intensity that she had to avert her eyes. “I wasn’t cheated on. And it was shitty of me to say that I was. Marilyn was—well, she wasn’t perfect, but she was good to me and didn’t deserve to have her name slandered.”

The girl listened in awe. Just earlier, she figured Nathan would never admit to his deception, but here he was, proving her wrong. It was an incredibly selfless and brave thing to do.

“I, uh, talked to her after our date. She’s in California on a volleyball scholarship and dating some hotshot lawyer.” He chuckled, and the girl couldn’t help but match him.

Nathan smiled. “Made you laugh.”

She burned under his stare. It was concerning, the effect he had on her. He wasn’t anywhere close! Perched on a small chair across the room, but still able to leave her breathless.

“Thank you,” she said quietly. “For telling me the truth.”

“No. Thank you,” Nathan insisted, “for giving an asshole like me a few minutes of your precious time.”

A pang of sudden guilt wracked the girl’s frame. Nathan was so sincerely apologizing and being grateful for her presence… yet she had arrived with ill intentions. She came to Delta Kappa Epsilon house with the objective of revenge, only to find out revenge wasn’t needed.

“Can I grab you a drink?”

She said yes because it was the least she could do. “You wouldn’t have champagne by any chance, would you?” she tried again.

Nathan grinned. “Champagne? Nah, but I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

Her heart fluttered at the promise of a next time.

“How about a beer?”

She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t care for it. It makes me sick. How about a water instead? I have a low tolerance anyways.”

Nathan seemed to contemplate her words for a moment, nodding. “Do you trust me?”

Trust. It didn’t come easily to her, but something about Nathan put her at ease. “I trust you.”

He left with a smile and the promise of only taking a couple of minutes, leaving the girl in comfortable silence. The heavy bass from the music playing downstairs could still be heard faintly, though not enough to disturb her peace. She decided to use the opportunity to familiarize herself with her surroundings.

Posters of famous hockey players were displayed across the wall—no one that she was familiar with—labelled in big, dark, block letters.

WAYNE GRETZKY — CENTERMAN

BOBBY ORR — DEFENSEMAN

JOHNNY GAUDREAU — LEFT WING

SIDNEY CROSBY — CENTERMAN

Smaller posters took up space along the far wall, helping add a splash of colour to the otherwise bland room. The girl walked along the dresser, trailing a finger over the various awards and medals. One thing was for sure, Nathan was determined to gain success in his field, and that was something she greatly admired.

A slight commotion out in the hall caused her to suspend her exploration. The door opened, and Nathan walked in with two drinks in his hands, clearly upset over something.

“Is everything all right?” The girl self-consciously wrapped her arms around her chest—unknowingly putting her cleavage on display.

Nathan made a show of looking her over. Starting from her heel-clad feet to her prettily made hair—stopping for longer than was appropriate on her chest, though she did not notice. His frown seemed to fade as he took her in.

She felt herself burning under his gaze. Felt her heart beating out of her chest. Her palms were sweaty, and her mouth was dry. It was everything she had read about and nothing she had ever experienced. What was she feeling?

“Nathan?” she croaked, effectively breaking him out of his stupor.

Nathan shook his head but kept a short smile on his face. “Yeah, it was just the guys being assholes.”

“What were they saying?”

Nathan’s smile turned into a full grin, and he closed the distance between them. “They wanted a look at the pretty girl in my room.”

Oh. Oh.

Nathan Acosta thought she was pretty. The girl was sure he had paid her a similar compliment before, but it hadn’t meant anything then. Now? Now it meant everything.

Nathan saved the girl from the trouble of having to reply by handing over her drink. Her eyes widened in surprise after her first sip. “It’s—”

“Really good?” Nathan supplied with a wink.

The girl nodded enthusiastically. “What is it?”

“My version of a Piña Colada.”

She frowned, taking another sip. “I thought Piña Coladas were white. Why is it blue?”

Nathan scratched the back of his neck. “I had some Kool-Aid lying around.”

“Really?” she exclaimed. “I can’t even taste it.”

“I didn’t put in enough, I guess,” Nathan shrugged, frowning slightly.

The girl immediately felt guilty. “It’s still really good. I can’t remember the last time I had Kool-Aid, so I probably forgot what it tastes like.” Then, to show Nathan how much she liked it, she finished the rest of the drink in a single breath.

“Woah,” Nathan chuckled nervously, helping her sit on his bed. “I put a lot of booze in it. You gotta slow down.”

“Sorry,” she muttered sheepishly, “I’m just really thirsty.”

He sat beside her. “Right, yeah. It’s all good.” 

Nathan’s hand settled against the girl’s thigh, scorching the exposed skin. He was so close she could see each individual lash of his. He leaned in.

“Are you religious?” she blurted, leaning away to look at him.

“Huh?”

“It’s just,” she started, rivalling Dove in terms of speed, “everyone automatically assumes I’m religious or something when they find out I’m still… And it’s not that I’m religious, and it’s not that I'm not religious—because I think I’m somewhere in the middle of the faith spectrum—but it’s actually sort of a personal choice combined with a lack of opportunity? Now, I feel like I have an opportunity, so I can’t use that excuse anymore, but there’s still this nagging—”

“Kitty!” cried Nathan, after several failed attempts at a more civilized interruption, “What are you trying to say?”

“I’m waiting for the right person,” she breathed out, “at the right time.” A pause. “And not for a while.”

Nathan stared at her. Said nothing.

“Not for any crazy religious reason,” she rushed to add. “Just as a personal… preference.”

God, her mouth was dry, and she was sweating everywhere. That was why she didn’t speak, why she stayed at home and left the social interactions to the experienced.

“That’s alright.”

It’s… alright? That couldn’t possibly be what he meant.

The girl blinked. “I—I don’t understand.”

Nathan grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Hey! You’re a beautiful girl, but there’s no hurry. We have all the time in the world.”

There was so much she wanted to say to him at the moment, so much she wanted to ask. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words died on her tongue.

“Are you going to drink that?” the girl pointed to Nathan’s forgotten Piña Colada, snatching it from the night table as soon as he shook his head disapprovingly.

“Hey, hey, easy there,” Nathan soothed the girl as she attempted to down the entire glass. He ran a hand over her hair, and she felt too drained to stop him.

“S-sorry. I’m just nervous.”

“That’s okay. Let me help you relax.” Nathan moved his comforter back, motioning for the girl to lie down.

“Can I?” she questioned, already lowering herself against his soft sheets. Her head was pounding, and the room was starting to swim. Maybe she should have listened to Nathan and sipped her drink slowly.

The girl closed her eyes, sinking deeper into the mattress until she felt stuck. “I’ve been getting tired a lot lately,” she sleepily mumbled.

“Must be the stress.” Nathan’s voice seemed far away. Had he moved back to the chair? “You seem like the type.”

The sound of the door opening and closing vaguely permeated past her drowsiness, but she paid no attention. “N—no it’s… it’s…” Something was wrong. She didn’t know why or how, but her spine tingled, warning her of immediate danger.

She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She tried opening her eyes, but they were glued shut. She found herself stuck in limbo, unable to do anything but think, and even that was becoming a challenge.

Something cold landed on her neck, travelling down her collarbone, up her jaw. The sensation stung her skin, but she could do nothing except groan in response.

“Easy. Just like that.”

The cold trailed down her torso and along her leg.

“You’re a lightweight. I think I gave you a little too much.”

Who gave her what? What was happening?

“God! Baby! You’re a gorgeous little thing! All the stories are true, aren’t they? I can’t believe you’ll be mine soon.”

A scuffle interrupted the gruff voice, and suddenly the cold was gone, replaced, instead, with a familiar warmth. It enveloped the girl’s face and encouraged her to open her eyes.

“Just like that, Kitty. Wake up, sweetheart.”

Slowly but surely, the heaviness left her eyes, and she fluttered awake, only to be met by Dove. Her blonde hair fanned across her head as she bent over, fussing over the girl.

“Hey! Hi! You had us all really worried,” she said. “Peter wanted to call the cops, but I knew you were safe. Best friend’s intuition, right?” Dove pulled at something around the girl’s thighs, fixing her dress with shaky hands.

Still sleepy and not fully awake, the girl did not notice the tears lining her friend’s eyes.

“What happened?” she croaked.

“We looked everywhere for you! Peter was convinced you got kidnapped or something. We didn’t think you’d be here of all places!”

The girl slowly took in her surroundings and realized she had fallen asleep on Nathan’s bed.

“Where’s Nathan?” she asked.

A shadow fell over Dove’s face, one vastly unfamiliar. “In hell!” she growled.

The girl shook her head. “I talked to him. It was all a huge misunderstanding.”

“No! That bastard, he—”

A commotion started in the hall, one that made both girls pause.

“Shit!” Dove suddenly exclaimed, running toward the noise. She threw open the door and launched herself into the middle of a fight.

Still woozy, the girl took her time to leave the comfort of the bed, leaning against the wall for support waddling across the space on shaky legs, much like a baby deer walking for the first time.

Most of her fatigue left her when she took in the scene in the hall. Nathan and Peter were engaged in a rumble, rolling around the floor in a mess of fists. Blood dripped from various cuts around Nathan’s face and soaked through Peter’s white shirt.

“Stop it!” Dove screamed. “Leave him alone, Peter!”

“He fucking deserves it!” Peter bellowed, landing a harsh punch against Nathan’s jaw. “You son of a bitch! I’ll fucking kill you!”

The girl stood there dumbfounded, unable to do much except stare at the scene as a sickening wave of nausea took over her shaking body. She had never seen Peter like this. He was prone to his hysterics now and then, but they usually ended with vulgar profanities and an ostentatious show of muscles—harmless, really. This… this was scary. This was unknown.

People cheered around her, encouraging the mindless violence. No one stepped forward to help, save for Dove, who was failing to get through to Peter. Phones were out, recording the fight in HD, making the girl feel even sicker.

Peter grabbed Nathan by the collar and shoved him against the wall, placing an arm over his throat.

“You’ll kill him!” Dove shrieked. “Peter, stop!”

The room started to spin again, so the girl leaned her entire weight against the wall. The smell of blood invaded her senses, and she had to fight the urge to empty the contents of her stomach right in the hall.

Dove finally found an opening and launched herself between the two boys, stopping Peter from landing what would have been a deadly punch.

He hesitated, arm pulled back. “Move outta the way, Dove.” His voice was eerily calm despite the rage pulsing through his body. “This fucker deserves to die at my hands.”

With tears brimming her eyes, Dove shook her head. “No, I’m not gonna let you—”

The girl ran to Nathan’s bathroom, slamming the door open and hunching over the toilet seat. She sobbed between gags, overwhelmed by the events of the day.

“Kitty?” Present worry forgotten, Dove rushed after her friend, with Peter following close behind.

Amongst the chaos in the hall, a figure watched the scene in front of him, hands clenched in frustration. He had been so close.

If anyone had told the girl earlier how her night would’ve gone, she wouldn’t have believed them. She might’ve even laughed. The girl had prepared for situations like these by ensuring she would never land in them in the first place. She kept her circle small, never hanging out with the wrong crowd. She didn’t do recreational drugs and even stayed away from potent drinks. It wouldn’t do her good to get loose-lipped and share her secrets with strangers.

Where did it all go wrong, she wondered? When did she lose control? Was it when she went out with Nathan? When she let herself harbour a crush on him? Or perhaps the mistake lay far deeper, buried amongst her past when she ran away from home.

Stop, she chastised herself. Nonsense is what she was thinking. No one knew where she was or what had become of her. And a good thing too, because what would her family say if they saw her now? What would her brother?

The girl threw her head back and finished the last of her drink. By running away all those years ago, did she somehow trigger a series of events that led to her current predicament?

She was sitting on the stairs with tears streaming down her face and an empty wine bottle dangling from her hand. She knew it was a bad idea to drink, but the girl felt floaty and sad, reliving the night between soft sniffles and silent sobs.

She finished emptying the contents of her stomach in the toilet when Dove pushed her sweaty hair back and led her to the bed.

“What’s happening to me?” she whimpered.

“What do you remember?” Peter retorted.

She didn’t remember much, but her friends filled in the blanks.

“The hockey team had a stupid bet going.” Tears gathered in Dove’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, Kitty.”

She had been confused, not understanding the implication.

“Someone bet Nathan two hundred dollars he couldn’t get you in bed,” said Peter. “Did he touch you?”

Her head spun.

“What do you remember?”

“No! No, I don’t think so. Maybe? I’m not sure.” Her thoughts were a jumbled mess, her brain fuzzy.

“I’m so sorry, Kitty.”

She whimpered, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Nathan wanted to apologize to me. Just apologize.”

“Oh, Kitty.”

“And I forgave him.”

The room flashed red and blue. Peter cursed, and Dove began to panic.

“It’s going to be okay,” Peter told the girls as two men in uniform escorted him out of the house. “Everything will be okay.”

Suddenly everything became too much, and she needed to be alone. “Go, Dove. He needs you.”

“So do you.”

“I’ll be fine.”

The girl collapsed to her knees when her friend finally left. She pulled at her hair, wracking her brain for something, anything. But she couldn’t remember.

It all made sense now, why Nathan had noticed her, why he was pursuing her. And why he put in the effort to apologize to her. The taste of his attempt was still bitter on her tongue, unable to be washed down by the wine.

Her eyes drifted over the crowd below and promptly landed on one of the last people she wanted to see… only to find him looking right at her, a glare etched on his face.

She couldn’t believe she ever thought him handsome, that she almost kissed him. Her Papa was right. And she now understood why he never let her date when she was younger. Boys were only trouble.

“He told his buddies you were easy. That, he might as well take the money now because you were a done deal.”

The girl stood as fast as a whip.

“They wanted a look at the pretty girl in my room.”

The empty wine bottle dropped from her hands with a clatter.

“He said you would be his first virgin. And he couldn’t wait.”

Her legs felt like jelly, and she leaned against the railing for support. Shame burned deep in her gut, rising in temperature, turning into fear and disgust.

She somehow managed to make her way down the stairs without falling. Out, she needed out. Out of that stuffy house, her stuffy clothes and her stuffy makeup.

The girl pushed past the packed crowd, forcing her way through, ignoring the grunts of protest and curses thrown her way. She apologized instinctively after stepping on someone’s foot with her sharp heel, but did not linger.

When the first gust of fresh air reached her lungs, the girl fell to her knees, fingers weaving through the cool, dewy grass. And when the world finally stopped spinning, she surveyed her surroundings, blinking slowly. A few stragglers lingered underneath an old pine, smoking, ignoring her for the time being. 

She got up on shaky feet, standing still for a moment to let the dizziness pass. She turned the corner, walking around the house and towards the backyard, where she hoped to make an inconspicuous escape. With her vision still blurry due to her tears and inebriated state, the girl did not see the overgrown root sticking out from under the house.

The fall happened so suddenly that she didn’t even scream, only flinched as she waited to meet the cold ground. She was thoroughly surprised, however, when she found herself wrapped in warm arms instead.

“Where you goin’ in such a hurry?”

“Sorry,” she gasped, “I'm so sorry.”

The warm arms in question belonged to a man with beautiful eyes and a dazzling smile. His dark hair was cut short on the sides, and day-old stubble decorated his sharp jawline. He was beautiful. The girl was, at least, able to make out that much despite her intoxication.

The man’s hold on her did not loosen. In fact, he tightened it almost painfully, trying to keep her upright and off the ground.

“Hey,” he asked softly, dipping his head to look her in the eyes, “you okay, baby?”

He said her name with a tilt of his head, and if she were in the right state of mind and not burning under his gaze, she might have realized that he used her name, her full name that very few people knew. Yet she couldn’t remember seeing him before.

The girl managed a shaky nod. “Fine. I didn’t see the—”

Once again, the use of her full name, this time from somewhere behind her, startled her out of the stranger’s grasp. He let her go, though he was reluctant to.

Voices emerged from the corner, voices that were talking about her.

“That fucking prude! Did you hear what she did?”

The girl stumbled over her feet, and the man reached out to steady her. “Easy.”

“Poor Nathan. How could she wrongfully accuse him of something so horrible?”

She hadn’t. She didn’t even talk to anyone other than Dove and Peter about what happened because she herself was unsure of the details.

“I have to go,” she whispered, “I need to go,” and freed herself from the stranger’s hold. He called out for her, but she ignored him. She ignored the small group gossiping about her, ignored the ache in her feet, and the pit of dread in her stomach.

There were many other ways the night could have ended, none all too pleasant. If Dove hadn’t encouraged her to come to the party. If Peter had found her earlier. If the girl had not gone through the back; if she had not tripped over the overgrown root and fallen into the arms of a handsome stranger.

Yes, there were many other ways the night could have ended, none all too pleasant, indeed. But what’s done was done, and the consequences of her actions were slowly catching up with her, though she did not know it at the moment.

If things were different, Peter would have offered to walk her home. His perceptive gaze might have found something familiar about the stranger. “I know you. Where do I know you from? I know you.”

The girl’s paranoia might have made her realize he was the man she had stepped on earlier. “Weren’t you just inside? I could swear I just saw you inside.” 

And the night could have ended pleasantly.

But alas, the girl was drunk, and Peter was in jail, and out of all the ways the night could have ended, it chose to end none all too pleasant. None all too pleasant, indeed.

April 25, 2018

It was now confirmed. The girl was a lightweight. She never particularly drank alcohol—not the strong kind anyway—choosing lighter champagnes and fruity cocktails that washed away the bitterness with sticky syrup. Just one glass was enough to make her tipsy and eventually drunk.

Three to four wrong turns later, the girl was nowhere near her dorm. As it happened, trying to find the residential building at one in the morning while drunk was more challenging than expected. She was sensitive. A few sips of coffee kept her up all night; no wonder she couldn’t see three feet in front of her. An entire bottle of wine on an empty stomach would do that to a person.

What was she thinking? It seemed like such a good idea at the time. She was confused and hurting, willing to do anything to numb the pain. In hindsight, a good night’s sleep could have given her a similar effect.

Two officers had escorted Peter out of the house, which meant he was at the station on the far side of campus. The girl sent Dove a text of jumbled-up words that barely made sense, telling her she was going home.

Hopefully.

Eventually… If she could figure out where she was.

It started slowly, a tingle in her spine, crawling up her shoulders and towards her neck. The feeling of someone watching her. Eyes, on her back, causing goosebumps to form along her arms. She turned around and did something she told herself she would never do.

It was the start of every horror movie. The kind she was forced to watch through the tiny space between clasped fingers, exclaiming, “stupid. So stupid. Why would—Oh my God! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! I can’t watch this! Why isn't she running?! That’s so stupid! I would never do that, I would run.”

“Hello,” she called out. “Is anyone there?”

No response, so she tried again but was met with silence. You’re drunk, she chastised herself, imagining things. Still, the pit in her stomach wouldn’t leave. She kept her gaze on the trees lining the pathway, scared that something would jump out at her if she looked away.

Suddenly, her heel stumbled on the uneven ground, causing her to twist awkwardly and fall backwards on soft sand. Somehow she had ended up on the beach. Huh.

“Well,” she mumbled, shrugging her shoulders, “I could use a shower.”

The girl discarded her phone and heels near her feet, and staggered towards the water, fingers inching her short dress up with every step. The soft material also found a home in the sand, leaving her in her undergarments. A basic, light grey cotton piece.

The moon was out, the tide was high, and the girl didn’t hesitate to throw herself at an incoming wave, giggling the entire way down. Bad ideas seemed to be a theme for the night.

The icy water hit her like a slap to the face, sobering her up momentarily. She broke the surface with a gasp and crawled towards the shore, trying to outrun the wave pulling her back in.

What was she thinking?

There was no time to ponder the question as she lay there on the damp sand.; breathing unevenly, coughing up slight remnants of salty, alkaline water, and recovering from her near death. Only she could be so foolish.

The starry sky looked down at her, mocking her and laughing at her pathetic display. Her breathing slowly evened. Nerves slowly dissipated. The haze of alcohol began to return to her, and unfortunate timing as well because rough hands suddenly grabbed her, hoisting her up in the air.

The girl screamed only once, a short and pathetic yelp, before a piece of cloth was placed over her mouth, forcing her to inhale sweet-tasting citrus. She kicked her feet and thrashed her arms, but the person holding her was too strong. She dug her nails into calloused hands, and to no avail, for minutes later, the last of her fight left her body, rendering her limp and at her attacker’s mercy.

The world spun, and she saw black.

Yes… if only the night had ended differently indeed.

The shadowed figure watched from a distance, clenching his fist in frustration. He had been so close to the girl. Close enough to smell the trace of flowers on her skin, the wine on her breath. She was so soft under him, so pliant. He couldn’t help but want another taste.

He huffed and puffed, trying his best to not reveal himself in his anger. It was too late now, and all he could do was stare as her limp body was covered with a towel and slung over the shoulder of a hooded man. The man said something to his friend, who nodded and picked up the girl’s discarded clothes.

The shadow could do nothing but watch as his inamorata was taken for him. “Just for now,” he consoled himself. After all, the girl was promised to him, wasn’t she?

He took a step back, preparing to leave, when his eye caught on a shiny object partially hidden under the sand. He picked up the device with nimble fingers and inspected it. Notifications popped up on the screen, messages from the roommate, various reminders and emails.

He smiled as a plan formed in his mind, and retreated back to where he came from, becoming one with the darkness. That day she would become his seemed a lot closer than before.

“Soon.”

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[lifeandtimesoftrying]

Sometimes being transmasc with a weird relationship with your dad is just. I have your build and your appetite and your tendency to pace. I talk to myself the same way that you do. When I think about what kind of style I want to build I want to wear blue jeans and a bandana and a good-quality watch and I want to carry a red swiss army knife with me and I think I'm cosplaying you. One time I was listening to Flim & the BB's and had the idea to finish out your collection of their CDs. A few weeks later I wore one of your 90s colorblock shirts and when you saw it you fumed all throughout dinner and then came upstairs to ask me "who gave you permission to wear my clothes" like I'd killed someone. I thought that it might've been because of something that happened to you when you were a kid, some trauma I wasn't aware of but it was just you being transphobic. First time I'd heard of a dad hating that his son thought that his style was cool. Mom said that you said that me being trans breaks your heart and that that was an exact quote, and I know she's telling the truth. When I came out you said you were never going to call me my name and I think you were telling the truth too. One time a stranger at the ren faire the exact same age at you said that he was proud of me and that he normally had on a free dad hugs pin and it made me cry and one time a 30-something on Tumblr made a post saying that if anyone wanted an extra dad they could be it and one of the things that they would do was be proud of you and it made me cry and one time my professor said that if I were his son he'd be proud of me and it made me cry and I also think about that almost every day. I don't think that you'll ever call me your son. You should be proud of me. I'm proud of me. This Christmas the final Flim & the BB's CD and LP arrived and it seemed like it was the only present you really loved. I don't know if you know they were my idea. I don't know if I want to tell you that they were. I didn't realize that wanting to be like you was a crime.