#And it felt like one of those “any universe any timeline I’ll find you” situations

[driftingballoons]

Do you ship hero/partner? Or do you prefer them as just incredibly close without romance

For GTI/PSMD I think they’re just incredibly close friends, but personally didn’t really feel anything romantic between them. 

As for Explorers, short answer is basically I think they’re soulmates, but maybe a little young to be interested in romance during the game’s events. I was 12 when I first played, so in my mind they’ve been stuck around that age, even with subsequent playthroughs 😅 I certainly feel like a romantic relationship could blossom from what they have—and it always felt like they were the closest pair out of those in the three games I played—but I also feel that, during the games themselves, they’re a little young for all that. But I can certainly imagine that, as they become older, continue exploring together, and no longer live with the weight of the world on their shoulders, their friendship becomes something romantic :P

[dollslayer]

By Its Cover

Dark!Librarian!Steve Rogers x Shy!Reader, College AU

Summary: Your late nights at the university library spark a chain of events. Will they lead to your undoing? To anyone else's?

W/C: 8,890 (oops, sorry)

Warnings: DARK themes, NO MINORS, stalking, murder, minor character death, smut, angst, unprotected sex, oral sex, alcohol consumption, swearing

A/N: FINALLY, I wrote this for @darkficsyouneveraskedfor's 2 Years of Darkness challenge! This fic kicked my ass but after some months I'm so excited about it! This is my first truly dark fic so please don't read if any of these topics upset you but I do want to make a note that the sex is consensual. If I missed any warnings please DM me immediately and I will add them. Reblog/comment if you liked it! Maybe even check out some of my other fics 👀 Cheers!

Main Masterlist

You stumbled slightly on the uneven pavement as you made the final steps towards the graduate school library. It was always so much quieter than the undergrad library and at this hour there’d be a good chance it was just you and the poor person stuck working the overnight help desk. You didn’t mind that though, you were never an overly sociable person and you preferred to work alone anyways.

You swiped your student ID through the sensor and the little green light granted you entry as you opened the door. Looking around there wasn’t even someone at the desk, just the sound of the always-on A/C rattling the leaves of the fake plants in the lobby.

You moved to put your ID away when it slipped from your fingers and plapped onto the floor, your own face staring back up to you from the plastic. You sighed and swung your bag further back over your shoulder as you bent to pick it up when a pair of legs edged their way into your vision. Caught off guard by the man attached to them, you watched him bend to pick up the piece of plastic.

You both straightened back up to your full heights and you found yourself looking up at him. He had clear blue eyes and sandy blond hair that was swept back. He looked like he could be a model, he was so handsome and you felt like a deer in headlights.

You realized that he had your ID in his hand and was waiting patiently for you to take it. You smiled awkwardly and took it from him. He looked back to your card and read your name out loud and snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Thank you” you said more in surprise than gratitude “Sorry, I just, I could’ve sworn no one was here you came out of nowhere” You laughed nervously, hoping to hide your embarrassment. You were never good with talking to people and once a situation got awkward you just got yourself deeper in it.

“I was just coming around the corner when I noticed you dropped your ID. I actually work the late shift at the desk. Serves me right for applying last minute for work through the university, right?” He asked with a small laugh.

“Late night cram session? You look like your back’s about to snap from holding all those books” He pointed to your bag, the stitches of it’s straps were frayed and had been sewn over a couple of times.

“Yeah, I like coming here late, hardly anyone’s here, I don’t have to deal with people and I can just focus” You explained

“Right, well, sorry to keep you. If you need anything I’m Steve, and I’ll be bored out of my mind at the desk” he smirked and walked back towards reception.

You turned down the hall and thought how strange it was that you’d never seen him here before. It was the middle of the semester so he couldn’t have just started but you were in here all the time and you’d never run into him once. You brushed the thought off and continued on your way.

____

Over the next few weeks you and Steve developed a routine. You’d come in around 10 or 11, you’d stop at the desk and chat a bit and then you’d head up to your spot on the second floor to study. Occasionally Steve would see you when he returned books and you’d joke around a bit before he’d leave you to your work. You were building a good rapport with each other and he was pleased.

Sometimes he’d been too shy to approach you. It made him feel like the scrawny, helpless kid he was before the growth spurt. Beautiful girls like you never looked twice at him but he knows that you’re different, he knows that if you had met him then that you’d never treat him like those girls did. He knows that in time you two could really have something special.

Steve understood that building a relationship with you would take time and balance. He didn’t want to seem too eager but ever since he saw you he knew he’d do anything to just talk to you.

It started some months ago when he was visiting Bucky on campus. They had been hanging out in the quad right by a group of buildings when you tripped on the pavement and your books fell at his feet. He helped you up and even collected your books for you but you were too flustered and embarrassed to meet his eye. You eked out a thank you and scurried into the graduate library.

That moment sparked a blooming obsession within him. The following night he was still in town but he went out without Bucky and staked out where he’d been the previous night and watched you go to the library at the same time you had. The next two nights he did this and quickly pieced together your nightly routine.

Within a month's time he was set to transfer for the next semester and when he did he got a job working night shifts at the library. Bucky had asked him why on Earth he’d want that and Steve had shrugged him off, claiming that he wanted to be paid and didn’t want to deal with anyone. Seemed like a good enough reason to anyone else.

And so that’s how Steve found himself invading your personal space to hand you your ID. He enjoyed the way you trembled slightly in surprise. You looked so small next to him, looking up at him. He nearly forgot what he was going to say, feeling suddenly shy himself. You were so close to him and you were just as beautiful as he remembered.

Take it slow, he reminded himself.

____

Your apartment door slammed behind you as you stormed out of the building. You left in only what you were wearing which was a light hoodie and some leggings. You had thought to grab your book bag before you left and it kept knocking into your side with each angry step you took. Tears streaked your face but you tried your best to brush them off and continued on your brisk walk to the library.

You and your boyfriend had gotten into a fight and things got heated pretty fast, they always did with Sean. You had confronted Sean about being gone so often and so late, you’d missed him and wanted to spend time with you. That’s when he started getting defensive and turning your late nights at the library right around on you.

Things escalated to shouting and Sean had gotten so angry that he’d knocked over a pile of your books from the table. It had scared you and that’s when you left. You knew that you’d be getting nowhere with him when he was so angry. You wanted to be alone and needed a distraction so you grabbed your bag and headed for the library.

You secretly hoped Steve was working, it’d be nice to see a friendly face. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have the tiniest crush on him. He’s handsome and funny and kind and he always knows when to give you space. You wish you’d met him at a different point in your life, you could really see yourself with him in another timeline. Maybe it was just easier to think that having just had a fight with Sean.

You swiped your card and waited patiently for the door to open. You could tell Steve had already spotted you and was looking at you as you passed through the glass doors. He was smiling his same boyish charm smile that made you feel even shier than you already were. You must’ve looked a mess but it was comforting to see him there waiting for you.

“There she is,” Steve said with a smile as he got up from his chair to greet you. His face immediately fell though as he took in the tracks of your tears and your puffy eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Steve looked upset and angry for you. You were touched, but you’d rather leave it.

“I’d rather not talk about it, if it’s okay. It’s nice to see you though, Steve. How’s your night?”

Steve’s jaw ticked but he swallowed and nodded and you were grateful he didn’t push it further.

“Uneventful as usual, it’s good to see you too, doll.”

You felt your cheeks heat at the nickname. If you were on better terms with Sean you’d feel bad but you couldn’t find it in yourself to do anything but giggle.

You said your goodbye to Steve and made your way to the second floor to study.

Hours passed and you had your nose buried in a book when you felt a sudden presence. You looked up slowly behind you and shrieked when you found Steve just inches from you. He held his hands out defensively and tried to catch your breathing.

“Steve, oh my God, I didn’t see you there, you scared me!” You laughed as you caught your breath.

“Yeah, sorry, I uh, have a habit of doing that.” He said as he ducked his head sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. Was he blushing? Why did he look nervous?

“I, um. I was uh, I was hoping to maybe ah, ask you something, actually.” Steve swallowed thickly. He is nervous. You smiled at him and motioned for him to go on.

“I was thinking… maybe, when you’re free if um, would you maybe want to go to dinner? With me?” He stammered out.

You smiled and felt heat flood your cheeks all over again, Steve was gorgeous and you were flattered that someone like him would want to go out with you. Just as quickly as that flattery came dread had instantly replaced it. You had a boyfriend, you couldn’t do that to Sean. Oh God, now I have to turn him down. What if he hates me?

“Wow… I uh, Steve,” you started, “I’m. You’re so sweet, I don’t know what to say. But, I have a boyfriend, I’m really sorry”

“But- but don’t think I wouldn’t say yes, if I could. You’re such a nice guy and I’m really happy for our friendship. I hope this doesn’t make things weird between us, I’m. I’m sorry,” You quickly led up with. You felt so awkward and bad that you had to turn him down.

Steve’s jaw ticked and he looked away. A blush of embarrassment had made its way up his neck and into his cheeks. His fists clenched at his sides and he took a deep breath.

“It’s… It’s fine, I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I don’t want things to be weird between us either. You know what? Why don’t we just forget the whole thing? Sorry again.” He finished with a tight lipped smile

You sent an uneasy smile back and nodded.

“Of course, no damage done, Steve.”

With that he left you and you went back to your book. You tried not to overthink the entire situation but couldn’t help but feel slightly uncomfortable.

____

“Boyfriend” the word echoed in his head on a never ending loop with deafening reverb. He nodded curtly at you and smiled. You had your awkward exchange of apologies and excuses. Wordlessly, he made his way back to the information desk. He felt angry but also humiliated, he had spent at least a week building himself up to say something to you and you just turned him down so wholly?

He saw the way you looked at him, the way you laughed at his jokes. Steve knew that he meant more to you than you were letting on. There was attraction there, you were just in denial because you had a boyfriend.

Who even was this schmuck? You couldn’t have liked him that much because if you did then you would’ve mentioned him before but you hadn’t. If you really loved your boyfriend then you wouldn’t have smiled at Steve the way you did or stopped to say hello every night. He needed to see for himself whom exactly it was that was so undeserving of your attention.

Steve checked the cameras and saw that you were packing up your things. He had maybe a few minutes to gather his own things and wait for you. There was someone else coming to cover the library in 20 minutes, it would be fine if he left it alone until then. He decided to make himself scarce from the desk so you wouldn’t have to see him again before you left and you wouldn’t notice he’d be following you.

Waiting for the sound of the double doors to click shut he turned the corner and waited for just a minute. He slunk down the mainways of campus towards the student apartments and stopped just 20 yards away from you up against a wall. You looked so cold all alone in the dark as you buzzed in one of the numbers.

“1B, what the fuck could you possibly want at this hour?” a gruff voice answered over the comm.

“Baby, it’s me, sorry I forgot my keys but you weren’t responding to my texts so” You trailed off as you shivered in the night. No reply came, just the buzzer sounding off. You hurried inside and Steve tried his best to scope out external windows.

Finally the light came on in one of them and to his luck the blinds were mostly open. Through the vertical slats he could make out your entrance and an impeding figure from the hall. It was him, the boyfriend. The guy that was apparently so much better than Steve.

He saw your body language was tense and you opened your mouth to speak but before you could get a word in, your boyfriend was grabbing your face in his hands and kissing you. You looked surprised maybe, but you just let him grab you like that. You just fucking let him.

He watched from his spot against a pillar from the building across the walkway. He clenched his jaw and tried to control his breathing watching this guy, this boy manhandle you like you weren’t something special, something precious. He was disgusted but he couldn’t look away as your clothes were shirked off and you two fucked right there on the couch.

He couldn’t bring himself to watch anymore and stormed off. As he walked back to his place a plan began to form in the back of his mind.

____

Things with Sean were smoothed over. You didn’t really talk, so much as he just fucked you before you could even talk about it. He had kissed you on the cheek after and said he was sorry. So you figured that he was. You didn’t really feel like pushing it anyways.

You made for the library once again, anticipating a long night ahead of you with midterms around the corner.

You let out a shriek as you realized someone was standing over you. Steve was hovering right above you, looking even taller than he already was. You pushed your chair back to get some distance between yourself and him while you caught your breath from the momentary scare.

“Steve, I uh, sorry I didn’t hear you coming, again.”

He leaned himself against the edge of the table and crossed his arms. How had you not realized he was so muscular before? You flushed and scolded yourself for thinking about him like that. You had a boyfriend and Steve was just the nice guy at the library.

He ducked his head shyly and waved your apology off.

“Sorry, guess I’m just sneaky.” He chuckled in amusement but the feeling wasn’t mutual, “I was just up here returning some books when I realized I missed you coming in, thought I’d come say hi.”

“Right,” you replied, “Guess we just missed each other. How’s the desk tonight?”

“Bored to tears as usual, just glad you’re here tonight”

Steve winked at you and you felt your cheeks get hot again and you looked away with a small laugh.

“You always know just what to say, don’t you?”

“Ah that’s not true.” He paused, “I get nervous all the time around pretty girls like you”

You were really in it now. Your cheeks heated instantly and you had to look away from him again. For someone that just got rejected he doesn’t stay down for long. How the hell were you going to talk your way out of this one? He knows you have a boyfriend, why would he say that?

“Anyway, I’ll leave you to it.” Oh, thank God.

He begins to walk back to his cart before spinning on his heel one last time.

“Hey, I forgot to ask. You’re pretty good with art history, right?”

You nod cautiously, afraid that you know where this is going.

“Well, as of right now I’ve got a C. I was wondering if you’d be willing to meet on one of my nights off here and help me out?”

“O-oh. Yeah, of course. No problem. I’m sure Sean wouldn’t mind.”

You were too nice for your own good, saying yes before really thinking it all through. You only realized you had after the words left your mouth so you mentioned Sean to save yourself a bit.

Steve’s eyes crinkled in the corners as he smiled at you.

“Awesome, you’re the best. Maybe we can get together at that cafe on 3rd next Tuesday around noon?”

“Of course, I’ll be there” You confirm.

____

Tuesday couldn’t come soon enough for Steve. He didn’t need any help in art history, he was averaging about an 87, actually. But when you turned him down he knew he had to find another way to get closer to you and he knew that you’d say yes out of pressure.

All in all things were going pretty well for Steve. Despite your shy nature he’d managed to get closer to you much quicker than he expected. He loved watching you get flustered whenever he was close, finding it hard not to get flustered himself. He was impatient for things to move forward but he knew it would all pan out. There was only one wrench in the plan; your boyfriend Sean.

The other night when Steve had followed you home and witnessed Sean manhandle you in your apartment he began thinking of how to remove him from the picture. Steve did his research on Sean and found it suspicious he couldn’t find anything on him. Usually after a little digging you can find something off about anyone, but not him. Steve knew it would take a little more effort, but for you he’d make it.

So that’s how Steve wound up spending his night off in the corner of the dive bar that was just off campus. Off campus enough that you’d need to drive there. He had tailed Sean’s Jeep there after his club soccer game in hopes of finding something he could actually use to justify getting rid of him for you. He groused as he pulled into the parking garage across the street and pocketed his parking stub. He waited a few beats and watched Sean leave his car.

He slinked in the door and grabbed a dimly lit corner booth. The residue of whatever cleaner this place used was causing his forearms to stick to the table at his booth and the air stunk of vape smoke. He was surrounded by other 20-somethings, awkward Tinder hookups and frat bros meeting up to blow off steam.

On the opposite side of the room he spotted Sean, watched him as he approached the bar for another pint. He’d followed him here in hopes of getting some sort of information on him that he could use. After an hour of nursing one beer and absolutely nothing happening with Sean Steve had been ready to give up.

Just as he was getting ready to down the rest of his drink the door had opened and in walked a girl around his age. She looked nervous but excited as she looked around the place. She nearly squealed as she rushed over when she found who she was looking for. A smile slowly crawled across Steve’s face as the girl rushed into Sean’s arms and embraced him with a kiss. This is exactly what Steve needed to get him out of the picture.

Steve discreetly took out his phone and snapped a few photos, even got a video of them kissing again. He figured this would be enough to blackmail Sean into leaving you. Getting what he needed, he grabbed his jacket and left the bar. He felt light as a feather walking home, his plan was finally setting into motion and it wouldn’t be long until you were together.

Tuesday had finally come and Steve’s good mood only carried over. He practically skipped to the coffee shop you two had agreed to meet at. He grabbed a table and waited for you. When he saw you open the door he was grinning ear to ear but his expression quickly changed taking in your appearance. You looked exhausted, like you’d been crying again. This wouldn’t do.

“What’s wrong? Is it your boyfriend again?” Steve asked.

You nodded silently and set down your bag with a huff.

“He’s just been out really late lately, I feel like he’s never home. Then again I’m always out late.”

“Well I’m glad you’re a night owl, otherwise we wouldn’t have met” Steve tried to turn the conversation back to them and to keep it positive.

“I guess you’re right. You didn’t order anything?” You frowned, noticing his empty hands.

“I was waiting for you, it’s my treat.” You opened your mouth to protest but Steve was quick to add, “Don’t even try to argue with me on this one.”

You sighed but ultimately relented, following him to the counter. He let you order first.

“Um, just a small hot chocolate please, thank you so much”

Steve thought it was cute that you didn’t drink caffeine, he knew hot chocolate was your drink of choice. He knew this of course from hours of pouring over every profile of yours he could find on the internet. He even found your tumblr you were just sure nobody knew about. Turns out you’ve got quite the dirty mind. But that was a thought for another day. Steve turned back to the counter and ordered black coffee and paid the bill.

With drinks in hand you made your way back to your table and settled in for an afternoon of art history. It went smoothly overall and Steve even got you to laugh a few times. He’d perfectly played his balance of pretending not to know about the subject while seeming to be learning what you were teaching. He could tell you felt proud of yourself for accomplishing something and he was happy he could make you feel that way. He was sure he was the only one that could.

You called it a day and said your goodbyes, you went in for an awkward hug which Steve accepted wholeheartedly. He’d even managed to finally snag your number so you two could work out more study times. Maybe you were coming around much easier than he anticipated. He smiled to himself and on the walk home began to devise a plan to get rid of Sean. It’d only be a matter of days if everything went accordingly.

____

You were basking in the rare day off, taking every moment to enjoy doing absolutely nothing. You’d felt drained lately from your class workload, late nights at the library, and your elevating fights with Sean. He was at work today followed by an evening class so you had uninterrupted alone time. Around 10pm it took every ounce of your free will to get off the couch and get the mail.

You milled over to your box and jammed the key in. Pulling the mail out your head titled in curiosity at the large unmarked manila folder. No return address written, only yours but there was nothing indicating whether it was for you or Sean. You’d open it when you got back upstairs.

Finally back to your spot on the couch your fingers slowly undid the folder’s metal clasp and you reached inside for its contents. Out came several photos and a hastily written note. You held the grainy photos closer to your face to make out what they were. When you did your heart plummeted and you went into emotional shock.

Though the photos were grainy it was very clear what they were of. Shots of Sean and some mystery brunette making out in a bar. Sean with his arm around her waist, Sean with his hand on her ass. All the photos were timestamped for only a few days ago when he claimed his soccer game was running late. You dropped them instantly and they scattered to the floor.

Your heart was hammering in your ears, you didn’t know what to think. Sean was the only boyfriend you’d ever really had, Sean loved you, you loved him. Somewhere in the back of your mind you remembered there was a note. You searched for it and tried to read it through the tears that were beginning to blur your vision.

‘I know what you did. You tell her or I will. You have three days’

You didn’t recognize the handwriting. Who would send this? Why would they send it? You and Sean didn’t have many friends and you couldn’t picture them doing this. Maybe this is some prank? Maybe the timestamp is wrong and this is before you were together.

Sean was all you’d ever known and you shared an apartment, it’s not like you’d have anywhere to go or anyone to turn to. Should you confront him with these? It’s not like you two were exactly good at solving your problems. Would he leave you if you showed him these? What then?

Your mind was spinning, unsure of what to do with this new information. Maybe you could keep quiet about this, try to spend some more time with Sean, make him see what the two of you have. Maybe you can ask him to be home more, maybe you could be home more too.

You took a deep breath and wiped your tears before you gathered the photos and put them back into the envelope. You decided you’d hold onto them for now, tucking them away in your drawer of the dresser. Deciding you’d just work yourself up if you stayed up you shot Sean a text goodnight and went to bed.

Morning came and he was snuggled into your side, the comfort you felt had you feeling like everything might be okay for a moment. You stayed in bed just a little longer and turned so he could hold you in his arms. Your heart felt so unsure and scared, but you didn’t know what else you could do.

The week passed by and you decided to shift more of your energy towards your relationship with Sean, pushing your nights at the library to the backburner. You still hadn’t told him about the envelope but you did tell him you missed him and wished he was home more. He relented and was home four nights this week instead of his usual two.

The time together was uncomfortable but you kept telling yourself that things were getting a little better over time, even if your studies were suffering for it. As the week went on you were able to suppress your doubts about your relationship a bit more. Sean loved you and you loved him.

You couldn’t ignore the oncoming threat of midterms forever, though. The last thing you wanted was to be alone because you knew that your thoughts would just spiral but you needed to do well this semester so you grabbed your bag and headed out.

You swipe through the doors, almost looking forward to seeing Steve. You’d blown off your study session with a profuse apology so you could be with Sean. You were eager to apologize in person but found the reference desk to be completely abandoned. You frowned, maybe Steve was putting away books or something. You’d see him eventually though, for now you had an essay to write.

Hours could have gone by and you wouldn’t have known. You were getting so much done though, it felt good to be focused on something other than your own thoughts.

“Where’ve you been?”

You jump in your seat. You turn around to find Steve emerging from the shelves that were just out of your view. He wore a neutral expression but you could cut the tension with a knife. He stepped forward and you debated on what to say.

“Sorry, I had to cancel with you this week. How are you getting along?”

“Nothing another tutoring session couldn’t fix, I’m sure. Were you sick? I feel like you haven’t been here in forever. The nights get awful lonely without ya here”

Why did Steve keep making statements like that when he knew you had a boyfriend? It was driving you insane and getting harder to ignore them.

“Um, no, I was with Sean, actually. But y’know, can’t avoid midterms forever” You gave a half-hearted laugh hoping to lighten things up.

Steve’s neutral expression is slipping, but you can’t tell if he’s angry or not. But his face broke out into a small smile, putting you at ease instantly. He clapped you on the shoulder and took a step back.

“Yeah, guess you’re right. We still on for Tuesday?”

You gave him an easy smile and nodded.

“I’ll be counting the days” With that Steve disappeared back between the shelves.

____

The moment Steve placed the envelope in the mail he felt a confidence he hadn’t felt before. All he had to do was wait for you to open the envelope and everything would take its course. He knew Sean was at work and you’d be the one to get the mail that day. From his spot he’d peered in your windows all those weeks ago he watched you open the photos. You dropped them to the ground and held a hand to your mouth to cover what looked like a sob. Steve smiled to himself, now all you had to do was leave him.

The week went on and Steve figured you might need a little time to break it off and he’d be there at the library, waiting to comfort you. It’s not like you had any other friends in your life to turn to. But then you cancelled your study session with no explanation. Steve figured maybe you were still in shock, needed to cry it out alone. Then two days turned to four turned to seven.

Steve was confused, he was infuriated even. Why hadn’t you come to the library yet? Why hadn’t you texted him? There’s no way that you were actually going to stay with him after you saw him with another woman. Except that’s exactly what he did.

Looking back on it Steve recognized his mistakes. He knew you were shy and meek, sweet, it’s what he loved about you. But he should’ve accounted for this to happen. You were too sweet for your own good, wanting to make it work with Sean. It was an obstacle he hadn’t seen but this is just a slight bump in the plan. He can work around it.

When he saw you coming up the steps on the security camera he made himself scarce, not ready to face you just yet. He gave you some hours to study before he made himself known to you. He could tell just by the way you talked that you were in complete denial about what was happening. You weren’t strong enough to leave him but that’s okay, Steve is strong enough for the both of you right now, he’ll help you get there.

____

Just when you thought things were getting better Sean was back to becoming distant, going out with his teammates and coming home still a little drunk. The more you thought about those photos and thought about how he slipped back into old habits so easily the more you were working up the courage to confront him. You weren’t sure if you’d leave him, but maybe it would make him change.

Then the second envelope came. More photos of them kissing and leaving the bar together. They were time stamped just two nights ago. Your heart fell through the floor as you tried to make sense of things. How much of this could you put up with? When was enough? You needed to confront him when he got home.

You texted him to try to come home early tonight, saying it was important. You spent the rest of the evening planning out your words and trying to quell the oncoming panic attacks. Time passed by in a blur and before you knew it it was midnight and you still had no word from Sean. You couldn’t spend one more minute alone, you needed to get out. You needed a friend.

Your body was on autopilot as your feet carried you up the steps of the library. Steve wasn’t at the desk and you felt almost distressed. You knew he’d be a good third party to talk all this out to and you didn’t know what to think when he wasn’t there. You decided to shoot him a text.

‘Hey, I know you usually work Thursdays, I’ll be at my usual spot, I could really use a friend if you’re not too busy’ Did that sound too desperate? At this point you didn’t care.

You sunk down into your chair on the second floor with a huff. You hadn’t brought your bag so it’s not like you could study to distract yourself. As it turned out you didn’t need to.

“I’m never too busy for you, doll. ‘Specially not at this job” Steve’s voice carried as he rounded a corner into your sight.

You felt instantly better before you realized you were crying. It was hard to be vulnerable but if you could trust anyone with this it was Steve. You gave him a weak smile as he pulled up a chair beside you.

“What’s wrong? Do you need tissues?”

“No, sorry, I just.” You were struggling to find the words. “Sean is cheating on me”

Steve’s hands clenched into fists, he looked absolutely furious for you.

“Are you serious? That bastard! Doll, I’m so sorry. Have you confronted him?” His hand reached for yours and his thumb rubbed light circles.

“I-I, I haven’t said...anything. I just. He loves me y’know? Why would he do that? He’s all I have? What happens if he leaves me where will I stay I’ll be completely alone, I’ll-”

You had worked yourself into a panic attack as you desperately tried to take gulps of air while tears streamed down your face. You were losing touch with your surroundings and spiraling into a place you couldn’t get yourself out of. Steve moved his chair closer to you and brought you into his lap. He held your back to his chest and wrapped his arms around you. You could just make out what he was saying.

“Doll, it’s okay, I need you to breathe with me, can you do that? Take a deep breath in with me. Hold it and count to five with me,” You do but you’re still struggling. “Now exhale, count again for me. You’re doing so well, you can do this.”

Eventually Steve is able to bring you back down to Earth and you slumped back into his arms. You don’t care that Steve is holding you, it feels safe. You shifted so you could lean your head against his chest and let out a heavy sigh. He holds you to himself and lets you sit there for a while.

You don’t know how much time passes but you sit up slowly and he’s reluctant to let you go. You wipe your eyes as you go back to your own chair.

“Sorry, I’m keeping you from your job. Sorry I just totally came here and freaked out” You were starting to feel embarrassed, oversharing your life and emotions with him. You really liked him, you didn’t want to think you’d ruined the friendship.

“Don’t even apologize. You can always come to me.” He gave you a warm smile and you felt reassured. “So what are you going to do about Sean?”

Another hour had gone by with Steve and you could see the sun starting to come through the windows. You had decided you would confront him and go from there. You weren’t ready to fully commit to leaving him but this needed to end one way or another. For the first time in two weeks you felt like things were maybe going to be okay. The next time you saw Sean you were going to confront him.

____

Clearly seeing that you weren’t going to do anything after he sent the photos, he had to go to plan B. Steve waited outside the practice field and followed him to the parking structure once again. He jammed the parking stub in his jacket pocket along with the others and repeated his previous trips here. It was astounding how unaware Sean was of his surroundings, Steve had followed him and that girl from the bar back to her place at least twice now.

Getting what he needed he put another envelope in the mail the next day, this time with no note but the photos were more upsetting. It hurt Steve to hurt you but it’s what needed to be done. You were never going to confront him with things as they were so he had to push the envelope, literally and metaphorically. The hurt would be worth it though, because you came crying to him just like he’d hoped you would. Seeing your text warmed his heart, you needed him and he’d be there. Every time.

He knew he’d be comforting you but he didn’t think that he’d get to hold you. He was hiding his smile as he wrapped his arms around you and brought you down from your panic attack. You did so well listening to him and calming down. He was convinced he was the only one that could help you, you just needed to see that.

Steve abandoned his cart of books that needed to be shelved but he couldn’t care less. He’d stay up all night with you every night if that’s what it took. As dawn broke the two of you devised a plan and he built you up to say something. You weren’t committed to leaving him, which Steve wasn’t happy about, but you were committed to confronting him, if only you’d get the chance.

Based on what Steve knew of both yours and Sean's schedules you’d just miss each other between classes during the day and Sean had a game tonight, which would inevitably lead to a night at the bar. All Steve had to do was wait. He had to contain his excitement, things were finally finally falling right into place, they just needed a final push.

Nightfall came and this time Steve beat Sean to the structure. Steve parked on the top level and stuck the parking stub in his pocket. He didn’t feel like he was taking a risk by counting on Sean to follow routine, he was a good boy, he’d park in his same spot he always did and proceed to get wasted across the street.

A slow smile creeped across Steve’s face as Sean and his teammates stumbled into the bar, probably already drunk from pre-gaming. Sean’s sidepiece wouldn’t come to the bar tonight, her sorority having some dumb mixer or another. Steve reminded himself of his mantra to wait. His phone buzzed and he saw it was a text from you. You two had been texting after you came to him in the library.

‘He’s not responding to my texts. I know he had a game tonight but I really thought he’d be here’

He’d have to text you back another time, Steve needed to be on his toes tonight. He sat at what was becoming his usual booth for nearly two hours, barely touching his pint. Finally Sean paid his tab and said goodnight to his friends. Steve pulled down the brim of his hat and pursued him towards the parking structure. Drunken and fumbling up through the stairwell, Steve entered behind him quietly while taking out a knife he’d stolen from Bucky. He always knew his friend’s strange obsession with them would come in handy someday.

Just as Sean was about to take the final step Steve grabbed him from behind. Sean’s reactions may have been slowed but it hadn’t stopped him trying to thrash out of the grip. His efforts stopped immediately as Steve held the blade to his throat. He spoke clearly and in a low voice.

“Keep walking up the stairs or I will slit your fucking throat, do you hear me?” He brought the knife closer to his neck to drive home the threat.

“E-easy man, please, please don’t do this”

“Keep moving. Up.”

Steve pushed him all the way towards his car at the edge of the top level. He flipped Sean around so his back was to the ledge, the knife still trained closely on him. Pleads for mercy fell on deaf ears.

“What do you wan’!? You wan’ money!? Take, take my wallet man I don’t need it, jus’ please don’t kill me please!”

Steve pushed him slightly, though his grip on him remained tight. Sean struggled against him as his body weight wavered over the ledge. He must have realised how far up they were because he started crying at this point, begging even harder as he teetered and trying desperately to get his bearings against the wall.

“Why are you doing this!?” He wailed, “I’ll do anything, please! Please, I have a girlfriend, I have a family”

That was all that it took. Steve was feeling a high like he’d never felt. He knew at this moment he was doing the right thing for both of you. With a rush of adrenaline and in a flash of certainty he pushed Sean’s body over the edge. He didn’t watch him fall the seven stories down to the ground, but he did wait to hear the sickening crack and thud of his body hitting the ground. There was no way he’d survived.

Blood rushing through his ears, he felt euphoric, so powerful, so in love with you. He climbed back into his car and headed for his apartment. His plan wasn’t quite complete yet though, but everything he needed to do was done. He could watch the rest unfold from the sidelines. He knows you’ll be heartbroken all over again when you find out, but he’ll be there to pick up the pieces.

____

You’d been in mourning for nearly two months. The shock you’d felt wasn’t comparable to any other feeling you’d felt. The police ultimately ruled his death an accident, they performed an autopsy and found dangerous amounts of alcohol in his system. They weren’t able to pinpoint an exact time of death but estimated 2-3 AM, as he’d been found in the morning. They figured he’d just gotten piss drunk and came too close to the edge. And he was gone just like that.

His death weighed heavy on you, you blamed yourself for a long time. He wouldn’t have stayed out if you hadn’t pushed him so far away from you. The last thing you ever said to him was nagging and whiny, no wonder he didn’t want to come home. To think that you were possibly going to leave him. You felt so much self-contempt but slowly you were learning to forgive yourself.

You don’t know what you’d have done without Steve by your side. He was there for you every step of the way. He held you at the funeral, he helped you pack up Sean’s things in the apartment, he took your late night phone calls and came over at the drop of a hat to help you through your grief. You were eternally grateful for his selflessness and his willingness to help you heal.

Guilt loomed over you once again as the old feelings you’d had for Steve in the early days of your friendship started to flare up again. It felt natural to feel them, with him being closer to you than he ever was, but it didn’t stop you from feeling shame over it. You had to remind yourself that you weren’t culpable for anything that happened, that Sean himself was interested in someone else when he’d died. You had to forgive yourself for these feelings for Steve. Maybe even pursue them.

‘Can you come over tonight? I think we should talk’ Your nerves were on fire from the rush you got sending him that text.

‘How about you come to my place? 7? We can go for something to eat if you want.’ Your heart was fluttering, was this a date?

‘Sounds good :)’

Checking the time you saw it was 4, you spent the next few hours obsessing over what to say. No matter what you were determined to tell him your feelings for him. You were debating whether or not you should kiss him. Would he even want you back? What if he only sees you as a friend now? The hours whiled away and you took a deep breath before setting out.

You’d been to Steve’s apartment only once before, you knew he lived alone but he’d managed to make the place feel homey. You were buzzed in and before you had the chance to knock on the door Steve had it open and was waiting for you. His smile was all teeth and it was contagious, you smiled back looking up at him and he let you in.

You sat down on the couch and waited for Steve. No turning back now. Deep breath. He sat down and turned to face you.

“What did you want to talk about?”

No words were coming to you. Your mouth opened but you could only sputter. Oh God, where were the words? Do something!

So you did. Before you could think about it you put a shaky hand up to Steve’s jaw and pulled him in for a kiss. You didn’t know what you were feeling, you were just waiting for Steve to respond. You began to pull back but before you could he took your face in his hands and kissed you back tenderly but with purpose. Your arms were around him and he pulled you closer into his lap to kiss you more passionately.

You finally pulled apart to catch your breath. You snuck a look up to his face and you were nervous but you felt like you were floating.

“You have… no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that” He said between breaths.

You two smiled like idiots and he brought his lips to yours again. The kiss deepened and a moan slipped from your mouth. This seemed to spark something in Steve and his hands shakily moved over your body. He was feeling every curve of you and you ground down into his lap and his hips bucked up in response. You have no idea where this confidence came from but you’d never felt more sure of yourself. You broke apart again and Steve was breathing heavily.

“Is this what you want?” He asked. You could only nod before he was on you again. He pulled you up from the couch and led you to his bed. This time he laid you back and was hovering over you, slowly undoing the buttons of your jeans. You helped him get yourself out of them and pulled your shirt over your head, leaving you in just your bra and panties. How was this happening? Who cares?

He sat back and took the sight of you in, he was looking at you like you were the most precious thing. He slowly removed his clothes and moved back over you, kissing his way up your thighs before pulling your panties down your legs. He continued laving away at your skin, making you nervous but excited. His fingers brushed your core and he brought them up to his face.

“Sweetheart, you are dripping.” Your cheeks heated instantly as he chuckled. Not giving you the chance to respond he dove right in. Two fingers entered you and you arched your back, his tongue lapped up your wetness and then at your clit. You’d really never known pleasure like this, no one had ever done this for you before. His fingers pumped in and out of you and your hands flew to his hair and pulled. He continued on and curved his fingers just slightly and you clenched down around him, you were so close.

“Please, I’m so close” you whimpered.

Steve doubled his efforts and before you knew it the tension he had been building up was released in a white hot flash of ecstasy. You writhed against his fingers as he kept pumping them into you. Finally he relented, pulling them out and licking them clean. You’d never seen something that made you feel so filthy but so so good.

He took off his boxers and encased you in his arms. He kissed your neck and you moaned again at the feeling. You spread yourself for him and he lined himself up and groaned. The stretch was something you weren’t ready for. It burned almost, you cried out as he put his whole length in you. He waited all of two seconds before he began thrusting into you. You weren’t ready but you were adjusting quickly with the way his cock hit that spot inside of you over and over.

You were holding onto his shoulders, nails digging in deep as he started to go harder and faster.

“I’m close” He panted into your ear.

Reaching down his fingers found your clit and started moving back and forth quickly, trying to match his thrusts. The tension was building again to a breaking point and you were getting close again. He worked you even harder until you broke, cumming for a second time. Your eyes were screwed shut in ecstasy as you cried again.

“Steve!”

That was all it took before he slammed into you a final time, you could feel his release and you’d never felt closer to him. His movements stopped and your noses touched. He kissed you hard before rolling off of you.

“That was… oh my god” you breathed.

“I know, me too” Steve chuckled. “So can I take you to dinner?”

“Nothing would make me happier,” You grinned wide and nodded.

You cleaned yourself up and redressed. You were taking in Steve’s room and found yourself smiling at the photos of him and Bucky, little knick-knacks on his dresser. You found a sticky note on the calendar at his desk. You squinted. Had you seen his handwriting before?

You shrugged and flopped yourself back on the bed. You checked the weather on your phone and frowned at the temperature, you let out a small groan.

“What is it?” Steve called from the bathroom as he cleaned up.

“It’s so coooold and I forgot my jacket” You pouted.

“Just take mine, it’s the brown leather one hanging in the living room” He was so sweet.

Gingerly, you made your way into the living room and found the jacket, slipping it on. You don’t know what was taking Steve so long but you shoved your hands in the pockets and waited for him. You felt something in the right pocket. Is this trash? You pulled out little wadded up pieces of paper and unfolded them.

They were parking stubs. They were from the same structure that Sean had fallen from. Your heart was pounding, upset just thinking of him. Looking closer one of them was stamped for 2:15 AM, 2/1, the night that he died. Okay...

1 AM 1/15, 11:57PM 1/28, They matched the timestamp on the photos that had been sent to you. Two others were from nights when Sean had games and had stayed out late. Your heart was in your throat and tears were forming in your eyes, trying to find some explanation. You thought again of the first time you’d received an envelope, those photos, that note. It had dawned on you why the note looked so familiar… The handwriting! Oh, God... Your whole world slowed down as you heard footsteps bound into the room. Slowly you turned, the stubs still in your shaking hands.

“Oh, Sweetheart,” Steve took a step further, “You weren’t supposed to see those.”

[r1ntaros]

first life

Pairing: Seonghwa x fem!reader

Theme: Soulmate/Reincarnation AU

Word Count: 3.3k

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: different settings and different timelines, multiple deaths mentioned, implied abduction, gunshots

Summary: She waited for him to arrive. Her brightest star, her only wish.

Author's Note: In commemoration of Seonghwa living the 24th year of his first life, happiest birthday to our brightest star! ♡ Also, I really did wrote him as a star in the earlier parts sooo..

Masterlist

1845

She listens to her friends’ story over a cup of tea on a fine Sunday morning with the sun’s rays stinging their skins perfectly. Valentine’s day was just yesterday and her friends decided to call a meet up the next day in order to talk about their own significant others and how loved they felt on the day that is supposedly full of romance.

However, for her, it’s a different story.

She’s already in her adulthood but unlike any other maiden, she has never found anyone who is eligible for dating her. Sure, she had a few shares of her romances or what they call flirting but it never actually works out in the end. 

She’s known as the hopeless romantic among all the maidens who have known her. A lot of them were teasing her about it, the males she used to date shoving it into her face that no one will ever love her before leaving her alone with her broken heart when things go wrong.

She sometimes thinks that the problem is with her. Even her parents were reprimanding her about it, asking her when will she finally find the right man, share the same wealth and marry each other. When she says she hasn't found anyone yet, that’s when a fight broke out between them.

It’s tiring, if you’ll ask her yourself. It’s like she’s stuck in a loophole of hell that she could never escape. All she wants is to settle down and be happy with life, but why is everything not going according to what she wants.

Maybe the person meant for her is not yet alive? 

Or maybe, he’s still one with the stars?

No one can tell but the universe.

She was cut off with her trail of thoughts when a friend of hers touched her arm and asked, “How about you? Found someone already?”

She softly smiled and shook her head as her friends collectively groaned. One of them asks, “Do the men of our generation really not attend to your needs that you’re having a hard time picking between your suitors? You’re already thirty and if that’s the case, you might’ve just entered the convent!” 

She sighed and said, “If I were really not interested in dating then I would’ve done what you said by the time I turned at the ripe age of eighteen.” She slumped back on the chair’s backrest and played with the laces of her dress as she said with a pout, “It’s just that things don’t work out well. At this point, I’ve come to terms that if I die alone then I’m fine with that instead of getting stuck with someone I never loved.”

She hates how her friends gave her a look full of pity but she decided to ignore it instead. But the hug they gave her was one of something comforting, “It’s okay, you know that we’re always here for you right? Even if you decide to grow old alone, you have us.”

True to their words, when she died at the age of sixty, her friends were surrounding her along with their children and grandchildren. Even if she’s known to be their friend and aunt who found no luck in love, a lot of people still adored her as she did nothing but give her love to them.

On the night of her death, she was heard muttering a wish to the stars.

A wish that in her next life, she’ll find the one for her.

1889

‘I heard she’s going to marry the richest bachelor in our town.’

‘Wait, is that true?’

‘I heard it is. Their family is that influential.’

‘Wow, isn’t she too young? She looks like she hasn't reached the peak age of 20!’

‘That’s true though. But you know how influential people can be.’

She feels sick in the stomach. The news had spread so fast. Being the only child of a famous news writer and an influential businessman is hard. Her mother had already taught her the basics of how to be the “perfect” housewife.

If she were to be asked, she hates it to death. She hates how in this era, women are still treated the same and that those who are influential only have the rights to go against the norm. But as she thought about it, with her parents’ money, she’s influential. She can apply to college, finish a degree, and continue her dreams of becoming a doctor.

When she told her father about her plans a few weeks prior, it went down the drain as he said that medicinal field is not something a woman should enter. It pissed her to death, of course, but she really doesn’t have anything to do about it, especially when her father had her life planned ahead of her hence why she found out that she’s marrying someone.

And now that her time is ticking fast, only a month away before her birthday, the same date that is planned to be her wedding day, she doesn’t know what to do. She succumbed into a state filled with anxiety and her mind has nothing but her wanting to escape the situation she’s in.

Deciding that she can no longer bear the fact that people are openly talking about her, she went into the woods, near a cliff bringing only a pen and paper.

She waited until night time, where all the stars and the moon were brightly shining. She remembers how her mother told her that if she has a wish, all she has to do is to scribble it in a paper where the stars can clearly see it.

She silently scribbled her wish in a paper, and when she’s done, she laid it out on the rock where the stars could see it. After doing that, it was silent and peaceful, until she heard two men talking in a whisper-like voice, hence the reason why she can’t hear what they were talking about.

Curiously, she peeked behind the tree, only for her to notice that those were the two unknown men that the public has been warned about.

With panic rising in her body, she tried to hide herself subtly and quietly, only for her to step on a branch.

“Who’s there?” It was a deep voice, approaching where she is. Deciding that there’s no use to being quiet, she decided to run away but failed horribly with her attempt when she was pulled back by a familiar figure, only to see that it’s her betrothed.

“Ah, what a coincidence,” He said with a smile so wicked that it sent shivers to her body, “What’s a pretty little lamb doing here? You’re being too adventurous?”

Too scared to speak and too impatient to wait for a reply, he decided to drag her to the deepest part of the woods with her trying to resist him in any ways possible.

The next day, no one knows where she was, or what happened to her. The woods were also investigated and there, they found the only proof that she was there.

A single paper written with a simple wish:

If not in this life, I hope to find the truest of all love in my next one.

1930

“I am already sick of love,

My very gentle Valentine.”

She quietly closes the poem book she was reading when she heard her niece's soft snores. She smiled at her softly and placed a kiss on her forehead before she made her way out where her brother and his wife were smiling softly at her, “You’re going to be a great mother.” Was what her brother’s wife said making her shake her head.

“Being a great mother is useless if I’m very unfortunate with love.” She said with a sad smile, making her brother wrap her in a warm hug, “You can still be a mother, you can adopt a child.”

“But I want to have my own child, brother.” She sighed and pulled away from the comforting warmth. She looked at her sister-in-law and flashed her a solemn smile, “I’m content with having my niece around.”

Her sister-in-law looked at her with adoration, “Maybe the one for you is not here or not yet here.”

She played with her fingers as she whispered, “I hope so..”

—

“Oopsies, wait! Drop your Christmas wish that will be brought upon the star!” Her aunt said and she smiled brightly as she dropped hers in a bowl of paper where they promised to hang it on the Christmas tree and open it up when the clock strikes twelve. It’s been a tradition in their family, they believe that it’s the reason why wealth and good luck spreads around their family.

Sadly, she won’t be able to open it up with her as she will be on her way overseas to finish her medicine practices. Her parents spent a ton of money on it and she just couldn’t let it go to waste.

With her last Christmas in the city she was born, they had to carry out the other parts of their tradition such as opening the gifts earlier before her service to the airport arrives. She smiled happily as she watched her niece open up her gift from her.

The bright smile that broke out from the little girl’s face was priceless as she rushed towards her aunt and asked, “Auntie, what is this?”

“This, darling,” She said and opened the box where it showed a ton of paper butterflies she folded herself, “Is what I call a butterfly box. I’m giving this to you so you’ll always remember me every time you see this.”

The little girl was so happy and she looked at her aunt and planted a kiss on her cheek, “Thank you, auntie!”

“You’re welcome, my darling.”

A beep came from outside and the sad smile her mother shot her knew it was already time for her to leave.

They bid their farewells and shed a few tears. Before she enters the car, she said, “Please continue your festivities, I have given our little girl what should remind you of me.” She smiled tearily, “I love you, my family. Always remember that I’ll always be here. I may be unfortunate with romance but I want you to be a reminder that I’ve received what I deserved to have.”

And with that, she left her family to fulfill her dreams..

—

It was the early mornings of Christmas and her brother was woken up by harsh banging on the door. He immediately ran towards the door to open it and was surprised to see their well respected inspector.

He had a grim look on his face and he felt his stomach drop, he had a guy feeling that he wouldn’t like the news he had brought in today.

“We received a call earlier this morning about an accident that occurred earlier in the cliffs on the way to the airport. I came to investigate it myself and I am here to sadly report the passing of your sister.”

A shrill cry was heard and he saw his father clutching her mother who’s now crying hysterically. He felt his body go numb as he grabbed the butterfly box that was from her sister. He opened it up and saw a note there.

With shaky hands, he opened the folded paper and there, written:

A butterfly means new beginnings, do not despair for a thousand failures as there will always be a new life awaiting for you.. See you in the after life, our dearest.

1979

“God forgives him who has estranged

Me from you for the whole year–”

“More wounded patients are coming in!”

She harshly closed her book as she rushed through the emergency area where more wounded soldiers were coming in. She wore her stethoscope to check on their heartbeats and checked their other vitals as well. They’re currently in a crucial situation as they’re tending the soldiers who volunteered for the war.

They always have to be alert and fear for their lives as well as they’re not that far from the battlefield. Their location might be quite risky, but their soldiers are doing their very best to defend them.

Most of the females that are working with her have a higher fear factor compared to her. Almost all of them have a family to feed and go home to, while some of them have their lover fighting alongside in the war while others are waiting for them to come home and fulfill their medicinal voluntary works.

Her situation, however, is different from them. She has nothing to lose. No significant other waiting for her and maybe a family to come home to but they really don’t care about her. She voluntarily applied for this job, despite its risks for two purposes.

First one is to serve the people.

And the second one is to maybe find the person who’s meant for her.

She had always loved romance. With her being deprived from the love she deserves, she desperately seeks what it feels like to love someone. She had her fair share of lovers, most of them ending up on a one night stand but nothing really lasts.

Despite nearing the end of her thirties, she never really gave up. But then, her hope is starting to fade away little by little.

That's why she just decided to focus on her first purpose.

It was mid-afternoon when a messenger came in frantically, startling almost everyone who was resting. He announced, “Move your places, we’re starting to lose soldiers!”

One of the soldiers spat out a laugh and said, “That’s impossible, we will never be outnumbered!”

The others, including the medical personnel, agreed with what the soldier had said. The man, however, was not moved by the slightest bit. His eyes met hers, making her uncomfortable as he spoke, “Don’t take this as a joke. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

—

The whole day, there was an unsettling feeling on her stomach but it started to dissipate by the night time. Everyone was preparing to sleep, including her, and so far nothing happened during the whole day. Maybe the man really had gone mad.

Unfortunately, hours after, the man was right.

She was wide awake when she heard screams from the other room and intruders coming in on their safe spaces. Everyone in their room started to panic as well, everyone writing their quick letters to their loved ones and most of them praying as they shed a tear, hoping for a miracle to come.

She felt bad.

She’s the only one who’s not doing anything but wait.

When the door opened harshly, startling everyone, the intruder then spoke, “Surrender yourselves then you’ll be spared.”

No one did what they were told.

Deciding to what she thinks may be stupid but can be heroic, she stood up and spoke, “I’ll surrender myself but in return, you’ll promise they wouldn’t be harmed.”

The intruders eyed her with interest while the others stared at her like she’s gone crazy.

But she made her decision, everyone has someone that they’ll leave behind, she’s the only one who doesn’t.

“Well, well, well. Aren’t you a pretty little one.” The guys who they consider as the leader said with a smirk on his face. He then gestured to the person beside him, “Get her. Don’t harm the others.”

By the time they dragged her outside, when the distance was deemed enough, a round of gunshots was heard from the outside which send everyone to silent tears.

That very night, she made a memorable image to everyone. An icon of heroism, an actual symbolism of sacrificial love, not only to her colleagues but to her country as well.

If she didn’t care and love enough for them despite not showing it thoroughly, that very night, the sacrifice she made, was enough message for them to not waste everything they have around them, especially their loved ones.

Present

Y/n was walking silently through the hallways when she heard a deep voice somewhere in one of the empty rooms. It sounded like it was reciting something then it’s followed by a rapid flipping of pages.

She took her time looking at the rooms one by one when she finally saw him.

He was walking back and forth, forehead creased, as he focused on the text he was reading. He cleared his throat and read another piece,

“My very gentle Valentine

Since for me you were born too soon,

And I for you was born too late.

God forgives him–”

Y/n decided to join him, “Who has estranged

Me from you for the whole year.

I am already sick of love,

My very gentle Valentine.”

The man stared at her, dumbfounded. His wide eyes are full of amazement and admiration and y/n fidgets under his gaze. She decided to break the silence between them, “That piece is by Charles, the Duke of Orleans, right?”

The guy smiled and nodded, “Your whole existence screams a medicine major, how come you know this type of text?”

She couldn’t help but laugh, “It’s my favorite. The oldest valentine still that was written way back 1415, right?” The guy nodded, suddenly perking up in interest, “My parents do not know where I learnt that piece but it captivated me by the first time I read it.” She then rubbed the back of her neck, “Is that a bad thing?”

Her company just laughed and shook his head, “For some strange reasons I feel oddly attracted to you and the fact that you know that text adds to that attraction.”

Y/n just giggled and said, “I may be a medicine major but History has a special place in my heart.” She then smiled and tilted her head, “Have you ever heard of the female nurse from the Cold War who sacrificed herself so her colleagues wouldn’t be harmed and will still spend the next steps of their lives with their loved ones?”

The guy just nodded, “An actual icon and a true proof that women are not to be played around with.”

They both shared a harmonious laugh when they guy spoke again, “Do you also read crime stories from the past?”

“Oh please, those things excites me!”

“Well if that’s the case, do you know the lady who disappeared in the woods and the only evidence of her was a paper where she wishes that in her next life, she hopes to have a truest love of all?”

Y/n was about to answer but she was hit by a sense of familiarity. Most of the things they’ve talked about seemed oddly close to her heart. Maybe some of them were blood related to her? Shaking her thoughts she nodded, “I’ve read that story. It's a cold case, sadly. She deserves justice.”

“And the fact that the note she left is just.. a sad one.”

“Very true, I hope she has found the love she’s been longing for.”

Little did she know that it was her, from her past life, and standing in front of her was the only star she had wished upon.

Granted to be true, this is the start of her story where no one can finally mock her from being a hopeless romantic.

Where she can no longer rely on her friends to provide her the love she needs.

Where she’s no longer forced to be with someone she doesn’t truly love.

Where she no longer has to be jealous and not have anyone to think of before sacrificing herself.

They were enveloped with silence when he suddenly spoke, “Ah, must’ve been rude because I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Seonghwa, by the way.”

She felt her heart soar in happiness just by the fact that he finally gave his name and at the back of her mind, a voice spoke, he’s finally here.

“I’m y/n. It’s nice to meet you, Seonghwa.”

Securing her first love story after failing to do so in her four past lives, her other personas can finally lay in peace and happiness, knowing that this new life of theirs had finally succeeded in what they all longed for..

A love that was made from a wish upon a star.

[endlessymphony]

in another lifetime, i will love you again.

harry potter x reader

summary - (based on a request that i altered) reader unfortunately is injured and passes away in the wizarding war— but before they do, harry reminisces on all the memories he has with them

warnings - tw for death, injuries, war, blood, existential questioning, loss of a loved one, heart wrenching pain.

a/n - i am going to bawl my eyes out. (update; i bawled when it was finished.)

the air was thick, heavy. the smell of sulfur and smoke seemed to linger whilst the nearly black storm clouds swirled up above. the sky, or at least what was visible of it, was grey and sunless. the dark mark no longer hangs heavily amongst the clouds, as the death-eaters had long retreated, but not without leaving a mess first.

you had always been apprehensive about hogwarts, ever since your first day of first year. a bad gut feeling, some would call it, but you ignored it the best you could and learned to call the castle a home away from home, perhaps even a sanctuary. but all you felt now was the stone ground beneath you, the cool breeze nipping at your exposed skin.

your breaths were shaky, unstable. hot tears pricked at your eyes as you stared up all the bleak sky, the voices around you muffled by the high-pitched ringing that tormented your ears, head feeling heavy- full, like you were weighed down with rocks. wreckage filled the courtyard in the form of stray bricks, broken glass, and bodies- your’s soon to join them.

blood steadily dripped down the side of your face, pooling underneath you, starting to dry in your hair- but that wouldn’t matter soon enough. you had been crushed by falling debris, pinned down by what used to be the west wall of the courtyard. from that moment on, any person would understand, and accept, that it was likely their time to go.

you wonder if anyone knew you would all be saying goodbye for the last time? you didn't wake up this morning thinking that you would be laying in a pool of your own blood, but you suppose that life works in mysterious ways. death would be sweet relief, a kiss that would take away all the pain and take you by the hand far, far away from here.

“humans, if nothing else, have the good sense to die.”

we live for destruction, devouring any chance to be in power like a pack of starved dogs. children build sand castles just to knock them down, and men start wars to quench their thirst for blood. they think they’re running at each other, but they run directly into the face of death. what does death look like? not a skeleton, or a tall figure with a scythe and a void for a face, instead- death looks like all of us, as we are all capable of it.

the ground rumbled underneath you, footsteps, was the best guess that you could come up with. “y/n! oh, fuck. fuck!” that was harry’s voice, full of panic. well, guess the situation was a lot worse than you originally thought. he dropped to his knees beside you, trying to dig you out from the wreckage, bruising his hands in the process. “harry.” your voice was hoarse, he turned to with fear in his face, eyes already filling with tears.

you gave him a sympathetic look, “my love.” your throat was dry, you tried to swallow, wincing in pain- your saliva tasting metallic. you coughed, whole chest rattling as harry scooted over to rest your head on his legs, brushing hair out of your face. “y/n…”

“that’s my name, don’t wear it out.” a weak smile made its way onto your face, “i don’t think i’ll make it, harry.” a tear slips down the side of your face, finding a new home in your hairline near your ear. “you.” he started, struggling to find the words. “you can’t say that, no, you can’t say that.” he looks around, frantic, trying to see if he can wave someone down to help.

“harry. look at me.” you tried to laugh, but just ended up sputtering and coughing into your arm, blood dotting your sleeve. “i can’t feel my legs, merlin, i can’t feel nothin’.” you reached up to grab his face, hands shaking as you smoothed your cool fingertips against his hot face. a teardrop ran down his cheek, the first of many that would follow.

“but you need to survive.” harry began to sob, “what… what am i supposed to do without you?” his words were slurred. sentences seeming reduced to just one long, unintelligible word. “live.” you reply simply, attempting to bring your arms back down but harry holds your hands in his, keeping them against his cheeks. “you live, harry, for me.” “but what is life without you? all my best memories include you.”

“tell me…” you cough again, blood staining your lips a deep crimson. “can you talk about those memories? help me relive ‘em?” he nodded, chewing at his bottom lip.

“the first time i saw you, y/n, i was dumbfounded. you had me absolutely speechless, i knew i loved you then and there.” he smoothed over your cheek with his thumb, brushing away some of the dirt. you stifle a chuckle, “don’t give me an ego.” “i’m not kidding!” harry protests, “truly, you were the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen.”

“let’s see what else… the yule ball. merlin, you looked incredible. we had such an amazing time dancing, i bet we looked absolutely ridiculous- but that was the best time that i ever had.” he chuckles, looking down at you. you had shut your eyes, listening to his voice- it was like liquid morphine, coursing through your veins and removing the pain. “can you tell me about our first date?”

“yeah, yeah.” he stumbled over his words, putting your arms back down to cross over your chest, so that you weren’t wasting energy holding them up. “i think that was the nicest weather that hogwarts has ever had, don’t you agree? or maybe it was just you who made the sun shine brighter, and the breeze a little sweeter.” harry leaned over to press a kiss to your temple, “it was the perfect day to lounge by the lake, getting sick off of sweets and laughing until our stomachs ached so badly, we could barely stand.” you struggled to keep your eyes open, every moment a fight against the darkness, and you were finally beginning to lose.

“harry, do you think that we’ll meet again in another life?” you were curious- childlike innocence dripping from your lips like venom, making it all the harder for harry to understand that he would no longer have you, or hold you. “i think we will, y/n.” he sniffled, finding himself awfully choked up as he attempted to hold back the tears again. “maybe.. maybe we’ll be married, have kids, be a family. what do you think?”

“you know i love you, y/n, right?”

“i love you too, harry.”

and that was it. the world fading to black. there was no longer a fight, only the sweetness of relief. death had embraced you into its arms, holding you, you found home- the one that had been waiting for your return since the moment you were born, counting down the years. months. days. hours. minutes. seconds. and it welcomed you home with open arms. there was no blinding light, no guardian angel sweeping you off of your feet and carrying you away, just nothingness. a comfortable nothingness.

why are people so afraid of death? is it just mostly a fear of the unknown? humans are curious by nature, and most can’t help but wondering ‘what comes next?’, sometimes the answer is not entirely clear. it’s murky, and distorted, almost like looking at your reflection in a puddle. if you are always afraid of death, you will never learn to live.

your body went limp, eyes stuck half-lidded as you made your ascent to the afterlife. harry sobbed violently, whole body shaking as he screamed to the sky, begging the universe for you back- another chance, another lifetime, an alternate timeline where the two of you could still be one. his throat felt raw, air tasting metallic- just as you had tasted earlier.

the universe did not listen.

it did not bring you back, no matter how hard he begged, nothing could.

he cradled your head to his chest, your voice ringing through his head.

‘i love you too.’

“in another lifetime, i promise we’ll make more memories, y/n. and, i promise that this time i’ll actually protect you.“ harry’s chest shook with each sob, shoulders hunched over and tense, your blood staining his shirt, and the ground below you.

“in another lifetime, i will love you again.”

tags 🏷- @seekinglumos @wizardwheezes @terrific-tozier

join my taglist ˗ˏˋ here ! ˎˊ˗

[honestlyfrance]

Hi, for the prompts, I haven't seen Loki, but I heard something about the Sacred timeline, so I propose something with Aleatory, please 💚

Aleatory

pairing: sam/bucky

warnings: cursing

a/n: i haven’t seen loki too but thank you to @pianistwriter80 ​ for telling me what’s the sacred timeline <3 i also mixed this with another ask: “Sam and bucky meet before cw and help each other and fall in love throughout the movies and in the end instead of Steve leaving, sam and bucky leave and start a new life?”  hope you don’t mind, anon!

pre-cacw, post-catws!

masterlist / ask me prompts! / AO3

Sam Wilson’s voice was quite appealing, like a waterfall of vocabulary and poems, it’s smooth like wine down your throat, desperate to hear it like a drunkard for liquor. It’s so appealing that you’d find yourself starting an argument just to hear that voice boom, bounce against each wall, then go into a honeyed “sorrys” and “I forgive yous” in just a minute because his heart was just as golden as that tone.

That’s what Bucky Barnes wanted. For this man to scream at him, commit all his sins larger than God to his body. Mark all the insults and daggers into his bones like tattoos, never removed, faded only through the times. Like the criminal he was, make him beg for his life as if he wasn’t the assassin, as if he wasn’t the Winter Soldier.

Instead, what he got was Sam Wilson and a tea date in Amsterdam. In the middle of their game of cat-and-mouse, it was almost Sam’s birthday it seems, and all he wanted was peace, to let Bucky find himself before he comes home. And the way he says it, with that pleasant voice, it sends shivers down Bucky’s spine. Bucky wanted to hear what more words the man would say to him in that voice. Hopefully, pleasant ones.

“You know a lot about tragic people, huh?” Bucky asks one day, in the midst of Sam’s rendezvous to Steve. In St. Petersburg in some hotel room, Bucky’s sitting on the bed as Sam exits the shower, towel slung precariously around those holy hips. “How do you know so much about me?”

Sam didn’t even flinch, this just became a way of life. “I’m good, thank you,” he says, slipping on boxers he set on the bed under his towel. “Wait, no, sorry… long night looking for you. Didn’t hesitate to come here, I see?”

“No,” Bucky took his time letting Sam’s words sink into his body, like a second skin if you will. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Sam sighed, removing his towel and sitting on the edge of the bed across from Bucky. “I’m tragic. Kinda like you, but not to the extent. Steve doesn't understand people like us, but… I hope he does.”

Steve never did, but that wasn’t the point of the conversation. They had a silent agreement from then on, brought by the unexpected meetings and hushed conversations in hotel rooms: I’ll love and take care of you for you. We’ll heal each other. Sam gives Bucky the space he needs and distracts Steve away, while Bucky gives Sam reason to run around and find that purpose and adrenaline he needs. It’s symbiotic, and crazy, from an outsider’s point of view, but it does the job. Kinda parasitic, but Sam assures Bucky they’re benefiting each other.

It continues like this, never a final meeting in the dark, sneaking into windows and staying over for fries. Burger wrappers on the floor and accidentally sleeping on the couch or bed, scooting over to the side so the other could find a spot to sleep in, waking up alone the next day. It’s always like that for Sam. Hunting for the Winter Soldier was always like this, not that anyone else knew. No one should know he felt like flying instead of running whenever Bucky brings another board game for them to play.

Not that Sam ever knew, but Bucky stayed for the mornings. One time, in a motel in Romania, Bucky’s arm was slung over Sam’s waist, watching the pretty man snore quietly. The windows were shut and the blinds were closed, Bucky didn’t want anyone to see what’s inside the room. It’s foolish to think anything more could happen, but he liked to think that this was real. That Sam would wake up in his arms and say in his honey-dew voice, “Goodmorning, Baby” and maybe then Bucky would be whole, never having to hide away and could finally come back. Maybe his timeline would wound up to here, in some bed in Europe, saying that he adores Sam Wilson. Maybe that will always be.

He adores him. Love, even. Bucky Barnes fell in love with Sam Wilson in one and a half years, and to hear him think that, it’s not even surprising. All that he wants now is to hear that silvery voice tell him those perfect words.

Then Sam wakes up in Bucky’s arms. Bucky doesn’t know what to do.

They lie still, Sam facing Bucky with wide eyes in the dim light, looking like a model in those magazines in every fucking motel room, like a masterpiece, like night that always leaves you awake for some reason. Bucky still stares, but his lips quirk into a smile, a smirk if you will. It’s cute, Sam thinks, Bucky didn’t leave like everytime.

“In any case that you needed a reminder, every morning you leave,” Sam whispers under his breath, a grin of his own creeping up on him. “What made you stay this time?”

Bucky’s eyes trailed Sam’s lips. They looked quite kissable every morning, even more so this time. “You, I think,” he spoke. “I didn’t want to leave you.”

“Good,” Sam says, and Bucky raises an eyebrow. “I think that means you’re ready to come home now. You know, your definition of home, that is. You found something to love.”

Bucky wasn’t ready, but the idea of coming home to Sam didn’t deter him. He had a few things to settle still, and he told Sam. And they both promised each other that they’d come home to each other, no matter the consequences or situation, they’ll find each other again.

Another half a year later, they met on the battlefield. Another year, on another battlefield, then they died for five years and came back together on the field. It was as if they were always on the field, and Bucky’s heart warmed, because they didn’t find each other, the universe found them instead. It’s wonderful to think about.

When Steve decides to leave, Bucky made his way to Sam immediately, saying, “Come home with me.”

“What?” Sam asked, laughing. “Where to?” He says it as if he’s ready to give everything up for the man, and maybe he was.

Bucky smiled. “That shithead’s leaving, but I wanna leave with you before he does, so let’s get a car, go to Cali, then Thailand, then India, then wherever the fuck we land in Europe.”

“You thought this through, huh…”

“Nope,” Bucky’s smile is brighter now, and he grabs Sam’s hand. “Marry me in Amsterdam.” He kissed Sam’s knuckles with a fervent shake, as if he’s giving adoration to a deity. “I wanna come home to you.”

They went and left, to a better life for them without the tragedy and battlefields. Just their cute little home at a field in the outskirts of Amsterdam, that is.

[scuttling]

Interview

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Latina OFC Sophie Cortes Word Count: 1,729 Tags: SFW, Pre-relationship, First meetings Summary: Aaron finally gets the greenlight to hire a new agent. Collection: Sophie Cortes timeline, 0-6 Months at the BAU (See Masterlist for reading order) A/N: Sophie and Reid are partners, because I love them! Link to AO3 or read below!

It takes two months for Hotch to convince Section Chief Strauss to open a requisition for a new member in the BAU. There was a lot of paperwork to be filled out, including detailed explanations as to why he felt the team needed another profiler. He thought it was obvious: for all they do work together as a cohesive unit, Morgan and Elle were technically partners, and when she left, Prentiss took her place. Reid doesn’t have a partner, which makes him feel like a third wheel, sometimes.

(He won’t admit to it, but Hotch notices things. It’s kind of his job.)

Needless to say, the position becomes available, but it takes another couple of months—and several interviews—for Hotch to find the right person to fill it.

Agent Cortes comes highly recommended by the Intelligence Section’s unit chief, someone he worked on a case with in his early days at the BAU; she is young, just 29, but she is more than qualified, and the referring agent is someone whose opinion he respects, so he’s hopeful.

Gideon sits in on the interview because he respects his opinion, too, although Hotch will make the final decision.

Cortes is Latina, petite and polite, with a firm handshake, a warm smile, and dark, striking eyes. Gideon looks at her with somewhat passive interest (something only Gideon can pull off) as they go over the highlights of her resume.

“You have bachelor's degrees in Psychology and Sociology, and master’s degrees in Behavioral Science and Criminology, all from the University of Chicago. How did you manage all of that, at your age?” Hotch asks, wondering if maybe she is gifted like Reid.

“A lot of hard work,” she replies, and it’s an answer he likes. “I graduated high school, enrolled in a dual major program and completed the bachelors’ at 22. Then I was hired onto the Chicago Police Department, and I worked there and got my Criminology degree at the same time. The Behavioral Science degree came after; I began it in person, and they let me finish online when I moved here to join the FBI.”

“What interested you about behavioral science?”

“I grew up in a city that was rich with diversity, but I still noticed that certain people were susceptible to falling into certain patterns, and became curious about why we as people do the things we do. I was already interested in criminal justice, so it seemed a natural path to take.” He nods, jots down a couple of notes before looking back up.

“Tell us about your time with the Chicago Police Department.”

“I went through training while finishing my Criminology degree, worked a beat for about six months before being assigned to the Intelligence Unit; my sergeant found value in the way I was able to get people talking, and a large part of my work was with criminal informants. I worked in Intelligence for three and a half years, and for the last two I was on the Tactical Response Team as well.”

“Tactical Response—that’s SWAT?”

“Yes, sir.”

“How did you end up in SWAT?” Gideon asks, speaking up for the first time; she looks over at him for the first time, as well. “I mean no offense, you’re clearly more than capable, you’re just… small.” She gives him a brief smile.

“Well, there was a hostage situation, the team leader determined that we could get a vantage point from an air duct... and I was the only one who fit.”

“You don’t seem resentful of that,” Hotch notices, a bit surprised. It’s not an origin sorry everyone would be proud of. Her eyes turn back to him.

“I find it’s more important what you do with your time somewhere than how you got there. I contributed to many successful responses over the course of two years that had nothing to do with my size.” It is a great answer, and he holds back a smile of his own, simply nods.

“So you left Chicago to join the bureau; did you have your sights set on any department in particular?”

“I was torn between Language Analysis and Intelligence and ended up somewhere in the middle.”

“Intelligence because of your background, why Language Analysis?” Gideon asks.

“I speak 6: English, Spanish, and Italian as my native languages, plus Russian, French, and German. I have an ear for them.”

“Impressive,” Gideon says, nodding, lips pressed together. Cortes smiles, modest.

“It’s helpful; more than 30% of the population of Chicago speaks a language other than English at home.” Hotch does crack a smile at that, because the statistic reminds him of Reid.

“How would you describe your current role with Intelligence?”

“The official title is Intelligence Liaison. I’m part of a team that travels domestically and internationally, to law enforcement or government agencies, to debrief them on threats we’ve identified, or potential threat activity, and to help them formulate offensive countermeasures.” There is a lot of experience there that would translate well to the BAU, that much is clear. If anything, she may be overqualified, but they would never turn down the help.

“What’s the most frustrating part of your job?” It’s a question he always throws in, because true frustrations—and how one handles them—can say a lot about a person.

“When they don’t listen and people die. I do my best to make sure it doesn’t happen often.” He looks up from the form to the woman, who, in that moment, shows the things she’s seen all over her face. They’re gone from one blink to the next, and he breaks eye contact to choose his next question. No follow up needed there.

“It sounds like you have experience interacting with law enforcement, which is important here at the BAU. We can’t work on a case unless we are invited by the agency with jurisdiction, so maintaining healthy relationships is vital. We have a communications liaison who deals directly with police departments, sheriff’s stations, FBI field offices, and the media, but knowing how to handle them is a big part of the job.” It’s not a question as much as a confirmation, and she nods.

“I’m confident in my ability to interact with other law enforcement in a direct but respectful way. It’s something I’ve done a lot of as Intelligence Liaison.” He has one final question, and though he’s already more than pleased with the interview, the answer will make or break his decision.

“Why the BAU?”

“Curiosity is what got me interested in behavioral science, but it’s empathy that makes me interested in the BAU. My current work helps to save lives, but it’s all very large scale, and it can be detached, cold. I can be detached and impartial when I need to be, but I can’t deny it would feel like a better use of my skill set to make a more tangible difference.” He agrees, can already tell that she would thrive in the environment of their unit, and it’s just the kind of answer he’s looking for; he takes a few more notes, glances over at Gideon for input.

“Anything else you’d like to ask?”

“I think we’ve covered it,” he says, and he stands abruptly, which makes Agent Cortes stand as well. Hotch follows suit. “Nice to meet you. He’ll be in touch,” Gideon adds, shaking her hand briefly and leaving the room. She is left looking a little lost, and Hotch steps around the desk.

“I apologize for him, he’s a little…”

“Capricious?” she offers with a smile, and he laughs lightly.

“That’s accurate, actually. Please don’t take it personally.”

“I won’t. I’ve heard a lot about him, so he kind of lives up to my expectations.” She tilts her head, looking curious. “You don’t, though. Unit Chief Roberts told me you would be stoic; I expected someone much more aloof, but you’re actually rather warm.” He is a bit surprised by her directness, even more so that she would find him... warm.

“I doubt that my colleagues would agree with your assessment,” he says, thinking of the number of less than kind words used to describe him in the past. She just smiles again.

“I guess you really do need me on your team, then.”

He finds it hard not to agree.

“There are a few more things we’ll need from you, such as a psychological evaluation, recent performance reviews, a physical. I’ll be in touch with Agent Roberts, and then you, if we determine you are the right fit. I’ll see you out,” he adds, gesturing to the door, and she follows. The team, who was not yet in the bullpen when she arrived, looks on, curious, as they head to the glass double doors.

“Thank you for the opportunity to interview. I hope to hear from you soon,” she says with another firm handshake, and he nods.

“We’ll be in touch. It’s a pleasure to have made your acquaintance.”

“Likewise, Agent Hotchner.” She gets onto the elevator, and he heads back to the bullpen, stops specifically at Reid’s desk, though everyone is nearby.

“Congratulations, Reid: you’ve officially got a partner.” Reid smiles, looking pleased.

“Who is she?”

“Special Agent Sophia Cortes. She currently works for Intelligence. Bachelors’ in Psychology and Sociology, Masters’ in Criminology and Behavioral Sciences. Fluent in six languages. Got her start at Chicago PD like you, Morgan—Intelligence there too. And SWAT.”

“SWAT?” Morgan echoes, impressed. “She’s gotta be 5’2” out of those heels.”

“She’s got glowing reviews from her superiors there, and from her unit chief: he called her resilient, determined, empathetic, a team player. She’s good at communicating with law enforcement, victims, even unsubs. The BAU is the right place for her. We’ll just be waiting on paperwork to make it official.” He crosses his arms, leans back against the filing cabinet. “I’d have introduced you, but she doesn’t know she’s being offered the job just yet.”

“She must have made quite an impression on you for you to decide on the spot,” Prentiss says, and he nods his head in agreement.

“I think she’ll fit in well. I saw a little bit of each of you in her, and she’s very…” He tries to think of one word to sum up the woman he just interviewed, and decides with a half-smile: “warm.”

[delyth88]

Episode 6 reaction

Spoilers ahead!

Whoa boy! Yet again that did NOT go in the direction I expected! Overall I really enjoyed that and I’m excited to see what happens next. I can’t believe they left us on a cliff hanger like that!!! I do kinda hope this opens the door to Loki getting to be in the films with Wanda and Dr Strange at some point in the future (I want my magic trio!), but I don’t know if they’ll go there. I keep feeling like they’ll do almost anything but allow him to interact with the Avengers! Lol

So there’s no particular pattern to these thoughts… here we go…

I’m heartbroken for Loki that he lost Mobius in this. Mobius not recognising him just… agh! Can he catch a break?! I guess that makes sense of the odd sense of finality when they hugged goodbye in the last episode. And this comes after he loses Sylvie too. Very different circumstances, but he’s filled with this sense of urgency that they must fix the timeline and then all of a sudden the people he trusts to help him are all just… gone!

That moment when Loki first returns to the TVA. That was heart breaking! While I still don’t buy into the romantic relationship Tom sure can act, and this was so well done. You could see him take a moment to grieve then pull himself together for the greater good – to save the universe. Soul crushing. Ooof.

So yeah, damn. They were going for the romance. *rolls eyes* Ah well. At least I’d had a few weeks to prepare myself. :/

And they went the route of Sylvie betraying our Loki. Now that was interesting. It was something that I really didn’t want to happen, but I actually came out of this thinking that was quite well handled. I thought the idea that they would disagree over the approach to take was quite a good idea. It gave them an opportunity to dig deeper into the differences between these two characters. And I liked that it was a difference born out of their traumatic experiences. I think there’s going to be tons of meta on why Sylvie and Loki made their choices in that moment, and I LOVE that (as of right now – who knows what I’ll think in the morning) I feel like there is actually something to dig in to there, like it wasn’t completely shallow. It wasn’t some stupid repetition of the what’s almost a joke now Loki wants to rule line. And I liked that our Loki was the one who saw the grey areas and wanted some time to analyse it, he wasn’t just hot-headedly set on killing. And I liked that he finally seemed to have some backbone, some drive.

I was wondering where they were going to find some drama from when I saw that the head of the TVA was some new character (who I have to assume is Kang since online is full of how he’s the next big bad). Like how was that going to mean anything to me? Especially when so much of that scene was Loki and Sylvie sitting there listening. (I did love the identical postures with swords across their laps though. 😊) But this worked for me.

And I really thought for a moment they were going to have Sylvie kill Loki. How sad is that that the experience of IW and Endgame has made me fear for the lead character’s life so frickn’ much! Ugh!

One thing that I can see that may have been a problem for some people, and possibly me after I’ve had some more time to think about this, is that the finale had a lot of focus on setting up the next step in the MCU. Now while this is great, especially if it enables Loki to actually participate in events, it does sort of take away from the characters. At this point, for me though, the conflict between Loki and Sylvie worked enough to satisfy me. And then the mad tumble to the end where we get revelation top of revelation was exciting and a very energised way to ‘end’ the episode. But it is definitely NOT any sort of resolution.

And omg what are we going to do knowing where Loki’s at right now for the next months? Years? Till the next season comes out!? Lol

One thing I am grateful for, and again I think it’s a sign of my super low expectations regarding Loki’s treatment, is that I am glad that Loki seems to be relevant to things again. It’s felt so much like they’re trying to ease him out of the universe, so the fact that they wanted to make a second season when they very clearly didn’t need to does make me feel good on behalf of Loki, and Tom.

I felt like Loki had the opportunity to be a little more like my Loki in this episode. Particularly some of his responses while talking to Kang. And I think this just goes to illustrate the point that in the earlier films we’ve seen a lot of time where Loki is in very serious and high stakes situations. And the way this sets up what feels like some big action to come makes me hope that perhaps he might get the chance to be a bit more of that characterisation of Loki in whatever he shows up in the future in.

So, what happened to those shots of Loki in Stark Tower and in Asgard? I am terribly confused. They weren’t in there, right? I didn’t somehow miss them, did I? I thought, when we saw Miss Minutes and her offer, that they might have been moments shown to Loki to entice him to take up the offer. I’m a little disappointed because I was really looking forward to seeing Asgard and Loki in his Asgardian gear again. Did they maybe cut them out for time or some other reason? Were they pieces they filmed pre-pandemic and then decided against using later? If so, why was it in the poster? *shrug*

So no new Loki outfit. ☹ No new Loki powers. ☹ I still feel like the various hints in Episode 5 about Loki’s power really were leading to something and we haven’t (yet?) seen it play out.

Having said that, from the perspective of the end of the season, it now feels like the whole season was a bit of a lull, and bit of a time for Loki to learn about himself (and I would say ‘grow’ but all the talk of Loki ‘growing’ in Ragnarok have made me slightly allergic to that phrase lol), almost as though this is the set up for him to take on something bigger. I dunno. It probably isn’t, it never seems to be, but I plan to enjoy the next however-many-months we have imagining the possibilities.

I liked that Mobius got to have a conversation with Renslayer. That he called her out on all the nice things she’d said but didn’t mean. To me he’s one of those people who it feels worse to have disappointed at you than angry. I also like that he tried to stop her rather than letting her go for some old feeling of friendship or some cliché like that.

So that’s what that pen was all about. So is that a version of Renslayer that Renslayer is protecting? I’m not sure I followed? Or is it just a variant that B-15 found? If so, then why does TVA!Renslayer have the pen?

I get they were going for disarming, contrasting, and just a little mad, but I didn’t particularly like Kang. It’ll be interesting to see how he plays out in the films etc.

I’m here for the multiverse, though!

So, did Sylvie push our Loki into a different multiverse? Does each one have it’s own TVA? Is that a variant Mobius? Or is this some sort of ripple effect that’s changed the course of history, even in the TVA? Questions!!

My list of negative things hasn’t changed much since episode 3 really. I’m still sad that Loki’s characterisation is so different, that they haven’t addressed his time with Thanos or his pain from being Jotun, that he still hasn’t used a lot of magic, and that he never got to see Frigga again. And mostly that he really didn’t seem to be driving the action at all for most of the season. So I think I’m likely to be both happy with this show and disappointed, and apparently completely able to hold both these opinions in my head at the same time. The characterisation and the romance seem to be things I can become more comfortable with on repeated viewings.

I maybe a hopeless fool for Loki, but him having his heart broken and then being thrown into dramatic universe ending peril within the space of two minutes works for me. lol Poor Loki.

Right, that’s enough for me. I look forward to reading other’s thoughts.

Tagging a few folks: @iamanartichoke @scintillatingshortgirl19 @sparklegemstone @pinkpondofasgard @thelightofthingshopedfor @piccolaromana

[lokislittlesigyn]

// loki spoilers

This is basically a huge infodump on my thoughts about the first episode, because I doubt y’all want to sift through my trauma-ridden ramblings. I’ll make another post for the rest. This is just everything not related to the IW stuff/my reaction to that. It’s general thoughts, theories, musings.

1. When Loki gets first taken into the TVA. Is that Peggy Carter in the background? Others have suggested it might be. What would that mean??? Will we see the TVA fix the mess the Russos made with Steve/Peggy (not likely) or is it just a lookalike? Who knows..

2. A skrull at the main intake desk! Idk not super relevant just interesting!

3. I’m kind of glad they changed the... uncomfortable scene... with the robot burning his clothes off. He gets more time to react to seeing the machine itself, and he seems more shocked (”Now.. H-hang on just a minute.”) than angry (”Now hang on just a minute!”) i still feel.. horrible for him, i’m glad nobody Saw him and that the machine didn’t grab the clothes off, but still. Ehhh.. uncomfortable.

He is beautiful though, don’t get me wrong - I’d just prefer a shirtless Loki scene where he wants to be shirtless? let him do what he wants with his body?? he’s probably felt so out of control of his body, from being jotun to falling through space that any invasion of privacy like that hits extra deep...

That being said, I recognize the utility of the scene for the narrative - his lack of control, his literally being stripped of what he was before.

4. WHO IS THE MAN WITH THE CAT. What is his name. I love that he has a mug with his cat on it. But I want to know more. Who is he?

4.1 WHY DIDNT YOU LET LOKI PET THE CAT Please,,, I am begging you,,, let loki pet the cat and have something react kindly to him and purr all happily at his scratching behind their ears plea s e

5. The info sheet. Now this is just a little nitpicky tidbit, but in a previous promo they listed Loki’s height as 6′4 ft and weight as 525 lbs. This is taken directly from the comics if I’m not mistaken. However, in the actual show he’s listed as  6′2 (Tom’s height and Loki’s presumed height) but I don’t remember if his weight is the same. Is Loki 6′2? 6′4? please let me know i want to know how smol i am in comparison

6. His little aggressive shaking of the ticket at the guard makes me giggle each time.

7. The fact the turnstile hits so low on him reminds me,, I am short compared to him. Those things hit my stomach/waist. That one hit his legs. I am once again asking Loki to pick me up.

8. The cartoon with Miss Minutes introducing the TVA is wonderful, I love the art style especially. But it raises questions about Variants... I guess Variants can just, pop out of nowhere? Any action could be the wrong one? And then once you commit the wrong action you either get returned or pruned? Yikes??? And THIS ties into another thing later!

9. The trial scene. I have a hunch - a feeling, a suspicion. That one of three things may be true.

A. The Time-Keepers never actually existed. They’re fabricated, and now whoever runs the TVA is actually using the excuse of “The Time-Keepers decree it so!!!” to carry out whatever They think is right. The fact we haven’t seen the Time-Keepers makes me.. suspicious...

B. The Time-Keepers existed, but they have since passed on, however that may have happened. Now someone is doing the same as above, using the excuse of the Time-Keepers apparent dictations to run things.

C. The Time-Keepers do exist, and do run the timeline/TVA, but maybe they’re not infallible? Maybe the TVA info video is lying or incomplete in some way? Idk I just feel like, something about the TVA and how they run things has to be wrong. It has to? Something is off. Again, this will tie into another thought later...

I have no idea if any of these are actually true! But Loki’s questions of “Who’s in charge here? What do they do? What do you do?” punctuated by laughter leads me to believe he’s suspecting something too, or perhaps just trying to figure this mess out.

10. Seiðr/Magic. We see in this scene, Loki’s magic (”powers”) don’t work in the TVA. (and a quick side note, did he have to Flex like that? do you have to make me see Loki’s bare arms Flex like that? be still my heart. anyway please get that collar off of him and let him rest for five minutes) This makes me wonder.. Why isn’t Loki in his Jotun form? His pale skin and blue eyes are decided by magic, are they not? I suppose this is 2012, so perhaps Odin’s magic is keeping Loki looking like that. But if magic doesn’t work in the TVA, why would his spell reach so far? Clearly Loki’s magic isn’t what’s doing it. How is Loki not appearing as a Jotun? Is his Jotun form repressed - is pale skin his default now, rather than something hidden by magic? I need answers!

11. he sounds so scared about being “reset” please dont hurt him,,

12. cALLING LOKI A PUSSYCAT? (lokitty confirmed) I think Mobius was goading him (Mobius strikes me.. As extremely clever. He’s trying to push Loki’s buttons to see who he’s dealing with. At least, I hope so. Because if he really meant that “You were born to cause pain and suffering and death... All so that others can achieve the best versions of themselves.” and that line about killing Frigga??? No no no he is not guilty. He had no way of knowing what would happen. It wasn’t right to send Algrim up to Asgard (i think algrim wouldve found the way up anyway) but there was no intent to hurt Frigga. I really hope you’re trying to goad him, Mobius, because if you believe that I trust you much less. anyway i digress) but wow is he pushing Loki’s buttons a lot. I can’t... Blame him entirely, I understand he’s trying to make sure Loki’s on his side, maybe I’m just too soft for Loki idk. But some of that was very cruel to say. /:

12.1 AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT MOBIUS. That scene with the girl in the church?? Did that little girl kill the men? Is that young Sylvie? Or is she using an illusion to make herself look young and innocent? What’s going on!!!!

13. LOKI SNATCHING THE LITTLE TIME-TWISTER DEVICE AND STOWING IT IN HIS POCKET.... POCKET....... sorry sometimes i get so caught up about loki that i just say random words in between little noises and squeals,,, i am a silly thing

14. CASEY. CASEY??? That whole exchange is funny. Poor Loki, just trying to intimidate this guy so he can escape but - Casey doesn’t know what a fish is. to be fair.... thor doesn’t seem to know what a raccoon is... right?

15. That bit with the infinity stones is kind of funny until you realize

A. Natasha died for a paperweight

B. Tony died from paperweights

C. Loki was tortured for paperweights

D. Oh, and Gamora died for a paperweight too. And Vision. Need I go on?

Then it becomes less of exclusively “haha funny” and now it’s a mix of funny and pain and gosh, is that a good way to sum up being a Marvel/Loki fan sometimes...

16. Loki gazing at the timeline all “Is this the most powerful thing in the universe?” or something, i’m sorry i don’t remember exactly... made me think of a meme and i shall make it presently.

17. I love that Loki got to see examples of how his family loves him but the fact he’s all “I can’t go back.” really just breaks me. It’s like he can finally see they love him after all of this mess, and now he doesn’t have the chance. Please, please let him be happy. Give him some relief. This is the Loki that just came off finding out about being Jotun, falling from the Bifrost, encountering Thanos, attacking Earth, facing defeat, and now he’s being thrashed around in this wild place and has just found out he inadvertently caused Frigga’s death (he did not kill her: his actions, by mistake, lead to her murder, let me be very clear) AND Odin will die AND all the rest... And he wants to be with them.

18. Loki’s reaction to Thor suggesting the hug makes me soft. Please I want to hug this little mischief man so so so bad-

19. Skipping over the iw parts! That’s for another post because this one will be grossly long anyway.

20. “I don’t enjoy hurting people.” and “It's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. A desperate play for control.” was all so, so validating. I’ve been trying to argue on Loki’s behalf for almost a solid decade. Seeing the show recognize that Loki’s not all just violence and hurting for “fun”, that he’s not unhinged and bloodthirsty.. Is so nice. It’s just so, so comforting. and it gives me hope for future episodes that they won’t go the route of “oh haha loki bullied and mistreated and stabbed thor for years!!! :)” loki cries during basically every fight with Thor and you want me to believe he stabs Thor for fun? absolutely not.

21. Theory.. Just another hunch.. So we know a fugitive variant, aka Loki, is running amok. Refer back to 8 and 9.C. What if the Time-Keepers never actually fixed the timeline into a single timeline? What if there are other timelines, and these different Loki variants have hopped over to the current one? Or, maybe the Time-Keepers did fix the timeline into a single one, and these Lokis are remnants from that huge time-war at the beginning? Time runs differently in relative spaces, they may have Just Left that war from their perspective!

I say Lokis and not Loki because we’re pretty sure there’s Female/Lady Loki, Old Man/King Loki, and possibly Young/Kid Loki. That’s at least three. From the peeks of Asgard and NYC we’ve seen from the trailers, I think we’re also getting an Asgardian King!Loki and Midgardian King/Vote!Loki. (unless our dearest variant is hopping into timelines and situating into them, but I doubt Mobius would let that happen..?) That’s five.

To further support this, keep in mind, I believe recently six (i think 6 regular and 6 rare...) different funko pops were announced for the series? I’m not sure if they’re in addition to the Loki and Mobius already released. If they are, there’s enough room for each Loki and maybe a TVA agent. One of the pops is supposed to have a buddy/companion I think? Maybe they’re making the cat guy into one, or maybe there’s something else (Throg, anyone?).

22. That is totally Lady Loki/Sylvie at the end by the way. Has to be. But why does she want the reset devices? Why did she snatch that TVA Hunter? Again, WHAT’S GOING ON

ANYWAY this was a very long post if you made it this far, I commend you.

[max-vandenburg-is-life]

Long Loki rant incoming

Ok first things first I've always liked Loki a lot as a character but I don't consider myself a really really big fan mainly because I haven't read the comics. So all this rant is gonna be only about mcu loki and loki in the mcu has been written differently depending on the movie so yeah. And on that note let's go!!!!

So today I'm gonna talk about what I liked and what I didn't like about the Loki show. This is obviously just my opinion, you can disagree with me! I'd love to hear your opinions!

First I wanna talk about is the writing of Loki's character. So previously it has been established in the mcu that Loki doesn't do bad things just because he's a bad guy or because he wants power above everything else, but because after all the manipulation and lying he went through as a child, the abuse, always been seen as less than those around him and being taught to hate himself for who he was (a Jotun). He wants validation and being treated the same as the others, he doesn't really care about ruling or being king. His actions are a result of his trauma. So the show painting him as "He's a bad guy!! He's evil he can't help it it's in his nature!! He just wants to be king!!!" felt off to me since it completely goes against all the previous canon. Apart from that, I feel the show also erased other aspects of him that had always been essential to his character, such as him being very smart and always having a plan, and his powers (he BARELY used his powers throughout the season and he's supposed to be the best sorcerer in the nine realms. Please). So yeah there's that. I didn't absolutely despise his character in the show or anything like that, he generally seemed more happy and chill and that was good, I just felt some aspects of the character seemed inconsistent.

Apart from Loki, something I loved about the show were all the new characters that we were introduced to. Sylvie was absolutely fantastic, she had a well written tragic backstory, she had a goal and she had layers. She was a really well written character. Also she was just really cool overall, she had a cool personality and seeing her use her powers was very fun. (Sylvie your hand in marriage) (I guess I can talk about the "betrayal" now. So yeah not gonna lie I don't think it was that bad. She had a goal she had been pursuing her whole life and she obviously prioritized that before a guy who she met a few days ago. She did hurt him of course but still it's easy to understand her decision.) Mobius was also really cool, in the first episode I didn't like him much but I started liking him a lot later on. He's just a good guy, he wants to help people. (HE ONLY WANTED A JETSKI MARVEL). And I liked his story a lot, he was forced into working for the tva because his memories were erased and he was told what he was doing the right thing when killing all those people, but once he finds out all of it was false he immediately starts going against it and trying to help as many people as he can. Ravonna was also a good character (I keep saying all of them are good characters lol they're well written ok). Like okay she was a little bit evil but I liked her. I really liked her ambition and her confidence. I would have loved to know more about her life at the tva, because it seemed like because of her position she knew some things that most didn't. Hunter B15 was also really good, loved her character development. Casey only appeared in the first two eps but for some reason I liked him a lot idk why. Casey my beloved. Kang was mind-blowing good, he absolutely carried the episode. He was so fun to watch and a very interesting character. This is how you do villains Marvel. And then all the Loki variants were amazing. Classic Loki was great, he was more mature and wiser than the Loki we're used to watching and I felt really sad about his whole situation (aka trying and failing to find his brother because he missed him, getting pruned and then dying). Kid loki was a BLAST, I really liked the little funky dude and I would love to know more about his life. Boastful Loki didn't appear for long but I liked him a lot, he looked like a really funny guy I wish he had had more screen time. And then there was the Lokigator which was also great. President Loki was also cool (meaning he had the coolest outfit), but we didn't see much of him. I think that's a big problem with the show, because they made it seem like it was gonna be more about the other Loki variants and their timelines (that's what it seemed to me from the trailers) but then we barely got that. Sad shit.

Now let's talk about the writing of the show in general. The writers definitely went off with the philosophical conversations, I enjoyed them greatly (Loki's and Mobius' talk in the second ep and Loki's and Sylvie's talk in the third ep were amazing). Something I didn't like at all about the show (this is probably my biggest complaint) is that the writing of the show throughout the episodes didn't seem consistent, like each episode seemed to be a different genre, and that made the whole story feel weird. What I'm trying to say is: the first episode was about Loki learning more about his life and reflecting on why he does the things he does. There was more to the episode but it was mainly that. It was a very emotional episode. The second episode looked like a cop show, they investigated a crime scene in the beginning, they did some detectiving, they had a great breakthrough and found out were the villain was hiding in the end. The third episode was an action episode. It gave me the vibes of mid season episode that isn't too relevant to the plot in which the characters go on some short mission. The fourth episode I can't exactly categorize it I think it was kinda like episode 1 but with some more action. The fifth episode was also a mix, they had a lot of reflecting on Loki's character like in the first episode and then also some action. And the last episode was mostly just exposition and a tiny bit of action at the end, very philosophical and stuff. It also felt like in the first two episodes they were indicating that the show was gonna be about free will and good and evil but that kind of disappeared for a big part of the show. I'm trying so hard to explain myself well, I hope what I say makes sense. Now my opinion on the episodes, my favourites were definitely ep 1, 3 and 5 (haha odd numbers go brrrr). The pilot was absolutely amazing, and I loved the direction the show seemed to be taking (YES MARVEL explore his trauma mmmm that's some good shit right there). It was really emotional but like in a good way. The third episode was great. I think it balanced really well the action and the dialogue, seeing Loki and Sylvie going on their shenanigans, using their powers and fighting was really fun, and then the train talk scene was absolutely amazing (bi loki yay! Gonna talk about this later). The fifth episode was great mostly because seeing all the other Loki variants and how they contrasted between each other was fantastic and I loved it. I really hope we see more of the variants in the next season. The other eps, the second and fourth were okay, the one I think was the worst one was the last one. Damn that episode. It was a very slow episode. Thank god the guy who plays Kang was really good because otherwise the episode would have been impossible to watch. There was so much exposure but it felt like we already knew most of it? They talked about how multiple timelines existing was bad because chaos and stuff, and they talked about the war in which the different timelines battled each other. Ok we already knew this. I feel like the only important thing to take from that whole talk was that Kang's variants are very powerful and dangerous and they were introducing the villain to the mcu. The whole episode felt like instead of giving closure to the characters or ending some storylines, the main thing it was doing was introducing the concept of the multiverse for the next marvel movies.

Something that surprised me a lot about the show is how important it is for the mcu storyline. Like in the first episode they talked about how the tva (and of course Kang) was much more powerful than the Infinity Stones, when basically all previous marvel movies were about them and about their power. And then Kang was revealed to have created a sacred timeline, he controls absolutely everything that happens. All of this is so important and for some reason I didn't think the show was gonna be like this. Not that I'm complaining, this is great. And I feel like a lot of people are not realising how big it is? Like I don't see much talking about how this is literally the greatest power in the universe.

Damn this is getting long sorry.

I suppose I'll have to talk about it because it has been this big thing. I'm talking about the loki x sylvie pairing. I didn't like it too much, it felt a lot like the writers went "he's a guy she's a girl so they have to fall in love", like I felt they had a very different dynamic and when they said that I was mostly surprised and confused. Because they were variants of each other their romance felt weird to me, and the fact that they made a character genderfluid and then made a woman and a man version fall in love also rubbed me the wrong way (I'll talk about the genderfluidity later). I did like the mobius x loki pairing more, but still I don't think they should have got any romance this season, I feel like there has to be a lot more progress in that relationship before any romance. I generally feel like Loki should first start getting some friends and then later on we can start with romance. But yeah this is just my opinion. And all the drama and discourse there has been over this???? Some of you guys look ridiculous not gonna lie.

Ok now let's talk about representation. I'm not poc myself so I don't feel like I'm in the position to say if something was good or bad, so I'm not gonna talk about poc rep. The show did a good job with female characters, many of the main characters were women and they were very well-written, not sexualized and cast appropriately for their age (I can't believe I'm praising this, this should be the bare minimum. Why is media in general so bad. Like please just.) About the bi rep now. I'm sure that the writers or directors of the show had to fight really hard with marvel so that they could make loki canon bi, so yeah cheers to that guys good job. Obviously it's not enough, and I really hope his bisexuality is explored more later. But yeah we finally have a queer character in the mcu this is big. Now about the genderfluid rep. OOF. I have a lot to say about this. It was bad. Really bad. I don't know if they just don't know what genderfluid means but that's what it looks like after watching the show. Not only were all of the variants cis, but they also went on to say that Loki as a woman was a weird and uncommon thing. Oh my god. And what angers me the most is the fact that Marvel used the so called genderfluid confirmation to their benefit. They exploited so much that little piece of paper that said his sex (not even gender) was fluid. I saw SO MANY articles praising marvel for making him canon genderfluid, and then it was absolutely shit. Absolutely shit. Out of everything in the show this is definitely what I hate the most.

Gotta calm down now. The soundtrack of the show was amazing, the actual songs they used were perfect and then the music they composed for the show was just *chef's kiss* (i have no idea how they're called but the song that plays during the title sequence WHAT A BANGER and the one that plays when loki and mobius are looking at the whole tva from the balcony in the first ep WHAT A BANGER). The aesthetic of the show was also great, the colours were really pretty (Lamentis bi colours my beloved) and I think it had some really cool shots. The acting was great, I'm gonna highlight Kang because I thought he was amazing. The costumes and that stuff were also really cool, I really liked seeing all the different versions of outfits they gave to the Loki variants (if anyone is interested I made another post reviewing all the variants' outfits) and Kang's funky costume was great too. The design of the places and that stuff (I have no idea how to call these lol I'm trying so hard but I don't know any of the technical words) was great: Lamentis was really beautiful, the void was also very cool and the tva was really well designed.

Ok y'all I think this is it. I'm so sorry this is much longer than I expected and if anyone actually reads all of it i love you and PLEASE tell me your thoughts (if anyone wanna chat about the show with me privately send me a message!!! I love talking with y'all). A little final note, English is not my first language, nor my second, so yeah sorry if I can't explain myself well. Bye!!!!

[wy-van-sunshine]

wesper fanfic!

Plot: After the “Crooked Kingdom” events, Jesper and Wylan live together at the Van Eck residence. One night Wylan can’t fall asleep and he looks for some company from Jesper. He finds him staring at that small portrait of a red-headed child which Marya Hendriks had drawn during her exile in the care house.

Wylan had some trouble falling asleep in the last few weeks. His life had radically changed: his devious father was to stand trial and he would probably end up to Hellgate; he had somehow gotten involved in a gang of criminals and - in case that wasn’t enough - he had found friendship as well as love among those criminals. He was now an independent boy, ready to replace his father in the city business, possibly to make a better job than him, and his life felt almost... happy?

Wylan didn’t remember many times in which he felt happy, definitely not since the day he was told his mother was dead.

But mostly, now he felt loved. 

Wylan had been in love before - or at least he thought so - but he never felt that same warm feeling come from the person to whom he gave everything he had.

Still, as a simple student afraid of every aspect of life he probably didn’t have that much to share. 

But Jesper knew everything about him. He knew him in a way no one ever did, maybe even better than Wylan himself. He knew about his most hurtful experiences and, even though he often mocked him about his little flaws, Wylan knew he didn’t do it to do him any harm. He would never. 

So, basically, when Wylan thought about his new life he felt as if his universe and timeline had completely changed: he was a whole new boy, but he didn’t mind at all. 

That evening was different, though: he had already had these thoughts while trying to sleep, but he was so tired from the heists he had attempted with the Crows that the need for a good night sleep was stronger than anything else. 

But now two weeks had passed and his mind was thinking at incredible speed, leaving him no space to rest. He lied in his bed for about an hour, then, after stating it was useless, he stood up to reach the living room and spend some time with Jesper. 

Jesper always got in bed later: they shared the room, but Wylan’s need to sleep and the sharpshooter’s relentless energy were not the best thing after the heists, so Jesper had started to leave the redhead some space in order to let him rest - not without mocking him a little about it, obviously:“Go to sleep, sunshine. I have to say, though, I thought I’d fallen for a young boy, not for the oldest man alive!”.

Wylan smiled thinking about how every insult coming from Jesper embarassed him, but at the same time it somehow made him feel special. After all, that was his way to flirt and he knew it.

“Hey, Jes?” he said softly, entering the living room and looking over the sofa on the left. The view warmed his heart: the room was a little dark and the only light, coming from the fire in front of the sofa, played with Jesper’s features in a beautiful way. Every time Wylan fell a little more for him, he couldn’t explain how, but he did.

The sharpshooter lift his head and looked at him, smiling while putting a little paper he held in his hand in the pocket of his shirt. “Already missing this hot piece of Zemeni boy, sunshine?”

Wylan’s cheeks flushed with red - he would probably never get used to Jesper’s candor - and he walked up to the sofa, where he sit next to his boyfriend. 

“I really hate you, you know?” he said staring at the ground, but leaning in on Jesper’s chest, waiting for him to wrap his arm around his shoulders. 

“Evidence shows the opposite, actually” answered the Zemeni with a grin, circling Wylan’s shoulders with his arm. “What is it, anyways? Why aren’t you sleeping?” 

“Am I not allowed to wish for some time with my boyfriend?”

Jesper smiled, his eyes spreading light:“Of course you are, love, don’t even need to ask. When did we estabilish I am your boyfriend, though? I must’ve gotten lost somewhere between our kiss and- ouch!” Jesper couldn’t finish his sentence as Wylan punched him on the thigh, laughing softly with a sound the sharpshooter loved with all his heart. He laughed back and placed a tiny kiss on the redhead’s neck. 

“I suppose my need for sleep is over, now I just lay in bed thinking about everything that’s happened and I can’t help but making my mind wander” said Wylan answering the original question. He turned over to look at Jesper in the eyes, letting a grin shape his lips:”Which means we can go to bed together now”

“Wylan Van Eck, are you saying what I think you’re saying?” asked Jesper with an astonished but amused expression. “Wow, hanging out with us really made you a terrible person”

The redhead burst out laughing, laying his forehead on the sharpshooter’s shoulder, his eyes filled with tears of amusement:”You’re so stupid”

“I am learning from the best, you know”

“Stop it!” 

They both laughed out loud for a while, Wylan’s whole body shaking and Jesper’s arms wrapped around his waist in an attempt to calm him down. Eventually, they both relaxed and silence fell on them, on their hug which neither of them felt like breaking, not just yet. Wylan’s forehead still lay on Jesper’s shoulder: after keeping his eyes closed for a while, enjoying the moment, he opened them and his gaze fell on the little piece of paper laying in the pocket of his boyfriend’s shirt. It was inside and he couldn’t quite see what it was, but he was pretty sure he recognised it and his heart made a huge, joyful leap. 

“What were you doing, anyways?” he asked, pretending like he hadn’t seen anything “I noticed you were looking at some paper... was that something business related?” 

Wylan noticed with silent amusement Jesper’s eyes starting to wander in the room, meeting everything but his gaze:”Erm, yes, yes, business. A merchant wants to buy- no, sell some of his... well, yes, business related stuff. Definitely. I’ll think about it tomorrow, anyways” Jesper cleared his voice, trying not to choke on his own words ”Shall we go to our room now?” 

The redhead smiled, leaning in on the sharpshooter in order to kiss him. Their lips met and Wylan seized the moment of distraction to rapidly take the paper from Jesper’s pocket and jump off the sofa not to get caught. He stared at the little drawing of him as a child, made with love by his very much alive mother Marya: he remembered Jesper had stolen it when they visited her, but he didn’t think he was still keeping it after Genya had used it to restore his aspect. He smiled, looking at Jesper with not even Saints know how much love in his blue eyes. 

Wylan didn’t think he would ever see bold, enterprising, outgoing Jesper blush... and yet there he was, his dark skin slightly changing colour in realisation of what his boyfriend was learning. The redhead said nothing for a while, a huge smile laying on his lips as he stared at the sharpshooter. After some time in which Jesper did nothing but move anxiously with his whole body on the sofa, Wylan finally broke the unbearable silence.

“Jesper Llewellyn Fahey, you are a big softie!”

If possible, Jesper blushed even harder, hiding his face in his hands and cursing the day his father revealed his middle name. Thank you, Da. Not only do I have to deal with this, I also have to hear Llewellyn being called a big softie. Jesper wasn’t enough. He didn’t like the way he was handling the situation: he was desperately looking for some of his sarcasm, but he was not prepared to face his feelings in such a strong way. He felt so stupid.

Suddenly he felt some gentle fingers wrap around his wrists and he lifted his head, meeting the blue oceans resting in Wylan’s eyes. The redhead was smiling, a light he had never seen before shone in his gaze. He was... wait, was he about to cry? 

“Wy?” he asked, not certain about how to behave. What was happeing? If anything, he should be the one crying from shame.

“You really like me that much?” 

Wylan’s question was so simple, so genuine. Jesper couldn’t help but falling a little more for him every time he witnessed how pure he could be. 

“What... of course I like you. A lot, I’d say. How is that something to cry for?”

Jesper put a hand on the redhead’s cheek, brushing away with his thumb a single tear running on it. 

“I have never had someone like you, Jesper. I have really never felt like someone cared for me this much. Not my father, not my friends, not my crushes. And now you’re here and I... I don’t know how I deserved any of this. Are you even real?”

The sharpshooter laughed softly, his shame completely gone, his love for that skinny, clever boy stronger than ever. 

“You’ve earned every single part of this, Wy. You are so amazing and please, every time I tease you punch me, because you deserve eveything, more than me, more than anything this world could ever offer you. Please know how much you’re worth. Please.”

Wylan smiled, sending his tears back, then he sit on Jesper’s lap and he placed both hands around his neck:”I don’t care what I do or do not deserve, all I care about is you. As long as you’re here, it’s okay” 

Jesper kissed him slowly, with kindness, grateful to the Saints, to Djel and to whomever was up there for placing that merchling on his way.

“Back to the original matter” said Wylan after a while “I’m putting up posters in every street of Ketterdam to tell the world what a big softie Jesper the sharpshooter is”

Jesper laughed out loud:”Yeah sure, everyone will believe that. It wouldn’t work out, anyways”

“And why is that?”

“Your mother drew you as a beautiful child and you’re really not that handsome, No one would say that’s you.”

Wylan grinned and punched Jesper twice on his arm.

“Damn! What the hell was that for?”

“You just told me how amazing I am and that I should punch you every time you say the opposite. It’s on you”

“Fair enough”

[egcdeath]

a blip in the reader-verse

chapter 1: beginnings and endings

summary: a minor mistake causes a shift in the multiverse that only you have the capacity to fix.

(current) pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings: pretty angsty, unhealthy relationships (codependency) 

author’s note: i published this earlier but with a completely different plot (oops) ((i had to rewrite this whole thing)). i’ve never written anything longer than a one shot before, so please be nice! all reblogs are appreciated <3

Nothing had been the same since the Snap.

Unsurprisingly, watching half of your friends and teammates dissolve into no more than desaturated soot took an astounding toll in every single aspect of your life, but more than anything, in your love life.

Despite having some of your teammates left in the aftermath, you found yourself growing more and more anchored to Steve, and him with you. Although you began dating around a year before the Snap, the heavy loss that the both of you faced seem to launch you straight into the abyss of codependency.

Deep down, you knew that this wasn’t healthy for you. You’d be told millions of times by your remaining family and friends that no one should ever be as attached to anyone or anything as you were to Steve. He was your drug of choice, and you were reduced down to an addict.

You grew frustrated with those who challenged the nature of your relationship. It boiled down to the way that you felt that no one could truly understand the pain and guilt that the two of you constantly were doused in. Yet, at the same time, nothing could take your pain away and distract you from the distressing feelings more than Steve could.

You knew that if something were ever to happen to him, you’d be absolutely destroyed. You weren’t sure how you’d be able to go on through life without the super soldier by your side. Yet, this feeling was far from exclusive.

A multitude of nights had been spent in the dark, on opposite sides of the sofa in the living room of your apartment, silently listening to Steve vent, or allowing yourself to divulge your feelings yourself over the tragedy, your deepest fears, and anything else that was on your mind.

You were more than aware that Steve was just as afraid of losing you as you were of losing him.

That’s why you’d been so shocked when he offered to return the Infinity Stones sometime after Carol’s second snap.

You stood in the large field behind the Compound with knots tying and untying themselves in your stomach. You genuinely had an awful feeling about what was bound to occur, and you just weren't sure exactly why, it was just a gut feeling.

Coming up beside you, Sam looked around the field, observing the small platform, along with Steve as he chatted with Bruce and Tony, who were putting the final touches on the time machine.

“You okay? You’re chewing your lip like it’s an overcooked steak, or something,” he chuckled, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

“I don't know, Sam. I just don’t feel right about this,” you said softly, turning to look at him.

“It’s alright to be nervous, Y/N. Hell, I’m nervous too! But if it makes you feel any better, he’ll be back in like, 30 seconds, with not even a scratch on his body. And maybe it’ll do you guys some good to have some away time. I heard a certain couple became surgically attached at the hip while I was gone,” he gave you a little smirk.

“Ha ha,” you said drily, actually a bit more annoyed at the topic than you tried to let on. “Promise me he’s gonna be okay?” You asked, looking deep into Sam’s eyes, trying to draw out as much truth as possible.

“I promise. He’s coming over now, so try not to act like you’re on the brink of a heart attack,” he stepped aside, then received a big hug from his friend, before Steve moved on to bid you a farewell.

You sighed contentedly as you were wrapped in his warm and familiar embrace. The comfort of the hug alone had already calmed you down more than you could’ve ever expected.

“Why do you have to go?” You whispered sadly into his collarbone.

“I just do. But I’ll be back before you even realize I’m gone, okay?” He brought a hand up to your hair, and stroked it in what you’d learned was somewhat of a nervous tick. You simply nodded at the question, too upset with the situation to form the right words.

“I love you,” was all you could come up with.

“I love you too. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do while I’m gone.” He stepped away from you somewhat so he could get a good, final look at you.

“Come on, Rogers. Don’t you have some diamonds you’re supposed to be returning to the jewler  right now?” Tony asked jokingly. You gave him a sour face, but acknowledged that it was time for him to go.

With that, all you were able to do was stand back and watch. But after a moment, Steve’s returning point had passed. Then, a minute had passed. That minute turned to five. And your worst nightmare had suddenly become your reality.

----

Returning the stones had gone well, at first. Until it didn’t. Suddenly, Steve was in Stark Tower in 2012, Pym Particles smashed unceremoniously on the ground after falling several floors in the midst of a tussle with himself.

Steve couldn’t think of any worse scenario. Well, maybe if he hadn’t already returned all but the stone. But that didn’t even matter to him at the moment, he was permanently stuck in the past, and had probably created all sorts of time paradoxes.

Despite his own personal conflicts, he still had one task left, and he wasn’t going to risk a whole universe plunging into their darkest timeline due to a major panic on his part. After escaping the grasp of himself from the past, he managed to slip out of the building in one piece, before wandering the battered streets of New York in an attempt to find the Sanctum.

When Steve arrived at the Sanctum, the door had opened right up for him, as if he’d been expected all this time, and he was greeted by none other than the Ancient One.

“Captain Rogers,” she greeted, nodding, “I’m assuming you have something for me?”

Steve nodded, then handed her the briefcase. She opened it, then gladly put the Time Stone back in it’s proper home. “Ancient One, I need you to help me with something. Is there any way at all that you’d be able to send me back home?”

“Why can’t you get back yourself?” She questioned.

“Well, I kind of can’t. All the particles I used to get here are kind of.. Gone.” He sighed, cringing internally at his own irresponsibility.

The Ancient One sighed, and shook her head, “I can do my best, but I can’t guarantee you’ll get back home. I can help you send some sort of SOS to your friends, and I can send you to a new reality, but I can’t promise you’ll end up exactly where you want to be.”

“But we have to try something.” He added helplessly, gaining a nod from the woman standing across from him.

“You’re right. I think I have an idea of what we need to do.”

next chapter

[harmony88]

Time Lord Thing

One of my very first stories ever, felt like posting on here too! You can also find more works on AO3 

The Doctor and Rose never separated, but seventeen years later their daughter changes the timeline and Rose falls into the parallel world. Now, the Doctor and his daughter must work to get Rose back.

:::::

Time is a fragile thing.

It’s a construct, her father would say. Time is relative, and time is pliable. It’s not linear, and the smallest action can recoil the already-set rings of time like a pebble being pulled out of the water.

She thought about this now as she opened her eyes, fear gripping her stomach. She wasn’t supposed to be here. The room she stood in was bleak, uninviting and cold. Her heart was beating rapidly against her chest and she couldn’t formulate words in her mind.

She had tried to help.

Her throat constricted as she suppressed the sob that threatened to escape her lips. Across the room from her, his hands pressed against a bare white wall, was her father. Well, he didn’t know he was her father. He didn’t know she was here at all.

She had tried to help.

She was hiding behind fallen debris, watching a younger version of her favorite person stand there coldly, his face like stone, as he listened desperately for any sign of a blonde woman she had seen falling to the Void at the time of her arrival.

She had tried to help. But the woman saw her appear and it startled her, and her grip loosened on the lever. She fell. A man appeared and grabbed her, his eyes meeting her father’s just for a moment as he watched them both disappear. She watched too.

The sob escaped, and she immediately threw her hand to her mouth in fear he would hear her. She wasn’t supposed to be here.

That woman was one she knew well; very well in fact. It was the woman she lived inside of for nine months; whose chest provided her her very first meal; whose warm embrace took away all pain and in whose eyes she found her strength.

It was her mother.

And the man that saved her was a man she did not know. But she assumed, based on the few features she saw, that it was Pete Tyler. Her grandfather, who she knew was trapped in a parallel universe her entire life.

She had tried to help. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This hadn’t happened before.

Time is a fragile thing.

She was sobbing uncontrollably now, her hands still covering her mouth as she desperately tried to stay quiet. But he heard her, and as his own hearts broke he ran toward the sound. It sounded like Rose crying, and he felt a flutter in his chest as he looked around, spotting a blonde head ducked behind metal barrels.

“Rose?” he asked. His voice was meek and timid. Desperate. She had never heard him so broken.

She always knew her parents were soul-mates. His voice now confirmed it.

She froze, her eyes red and cheeks stained with tears, as her heart thumped in her chest. Her brain swirled with all the lectures this man had given her about timelines and paradoxes and disturbances of both, but as she looked up and saw his chocolate swirls, relief flooded her more than she anticipated. He calmed her, like he always did.

He froze now, his mouth hanging open as he took in the figure that knelt on the ground before him. She was the spitting image of Rose, but there was something about her that felt…different. Familiar. Personal, even.

He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he knelt down next to her carefully as he took her in.

She knew she couldn’t tell him who she was. That would disturb the timeline of when her mother told him she was pregnant. She knew the story like the back of her hand. The story that was supposed to happen; where her mother nearly fell into the void but held on just long enough. Where they celebrated and her mother told him the news that changed his lonely life forever and started their journey in the stars as a family.

“You’re not Rose,” he finally said, whispering. She shook her head and bit her lip, and she saw him stiffen. She looked exactly like Rose. Especially then, “How old are you?”

“Sixteen,” she said, her voice sounded steadier than she felt, “I’m… um… Evelyn.”

Crap. She shouldn’t have told him her real name.

She winced just a little but recovered quickly - the Time Lord bit of her trying desperately to suppress her emotions. It was enough for him to notice.

“Are you in pain, Evelyn?” he asked slowly. He was confused, very confused, and his hearts were still shattering over the loss of Rose, but he knew whatever happened to this girl traumatized her and he had to help her first. To be honest, he welcomed it. A distraction.

“No,” she said.

Liar, she thought to herself. She just watched her mother disappear. She was NOT okay. And she was in pain.

Her brain started to overwork itself as he stood up and held out his hand to help her up. She paused, taking a deep breath and remembering to activate her defense shields on her mind as she gripped it, pulling herself up.

She felt a pang of sadness as she did this. She never put up those shields around her parents, but her father had taught her how in case they were ever in a situation where someone would try and access her mind. Not that he would try - he thought she was human after all, but they shared Time Lord DNA, and they were both in an emotional state. She knew their memories would fly between them like lightning. To her relief, her eleven years of memory defense training seemed to work as she grabbed his hand, both of their minds safe and untouched in their heads.

She detached her hand immediately and wiped her eyes. Her father was stiff. Everything she did reminded him of Rose.

Rose.

For the first time, he felt tears begin to tug at his eyes but he pushed them down. He could cry later. With a curt nod he began to walk forward. Evelyn stood still as he turned around.

“You coming? I’ll help you call your parents,” he called. She took a deep breath.

“Yeah,” she answered. If you only knew, she thought. This was the only way to mend the timeline she had so terribly unraveled. To follow her father, who didn’t know he was her father, to the TARDIS.

~~~~~

He wasn’t walking next to her. She reminded him too much of Rose. But she was close, and he made sure she could see where he was going.

Her hand darted up to her neck, where the Time Jumper necklace she used to get her here calmly rested underneath her sweater. It was something she had found at an antique trade on the planet Barcelona, and Rose bought it for her as a birthday gift this year. It was out of power and would be for another 24 hours, otherwise she would jump back to the father who knew her for his help.

At least she told herself that is what she would do, but she also knew she desperately wanted to heal the pain she caused this younger version of her goofy Time Lord father. That, and she was terrified to return and find out her mother was lost forever. She had to fix this.

Her jaw clenched in the way that reminded her mother of her father. She may only be sixteen, but she also knew the timelines and what was at stake. The woman who just fell into an alternate universe was carrying her in her stomach, and they had to get her back into this universe before she was born. Otherwise, she would cease to exist in this world and be pulled into the Void herself.

Leaving her father with no one.

That was not going to happen.

She was pleased at how rational her thoughts were as she walked behind him. He would be proud of her, if he knew how clearly she was thinking about the timeline of their family and how desperate she was to fix it.

Her mother would be proud of her, too. She smiled to herself. Knowing Rose Tyler, she was probably in that alternate universe thinking the exact same thing. She could practically hear her mother’s protest - yelling to the skies that she was carrying the Doctor’s baby and she had to get back to see the ecstatic look on his face when she told him the news.

Take me back! She would be screaming.

If her mother was working on it, she needed to as well.

The Tyler women were very, very stubborn. And that would be good for both of them.

They approached the TARDIS and Evelyn bit her lip again. Was it different seventeen years ago? Would it know her? Would her father figure out who she was once she was on board?

They hadn’t discussed this particular scenario before in all her Time and Dimension courses he insisted on teaching her since she was four, and she rolled her lip in her mouth weighing her options.

Screw it. She thought. Her mother wasn’t an option to give up on.

He opened the door and walked in, leaving it open for Evelyn to follow.

“You can come in, if you’d like. Or stay out there. I’ll grab a phone for you to call your folks. Leave the door open,” he said.

Act surprised, she told herself when she crossed the threshold. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open, and she saw her father smirk.

They always did this, he mused to himself.

“It’s… er… big,” Evelyn said. Without thinking, she smiled at her father, her tongue creeping up to the corner of her mouth like her mother’s did. His face darkened.

“Where did you learn to do that?” he asked her quietly. Evelyn stiffened. She forgot. Her father called that the “Rose Smile”.

“Do what?” she asked innocently, choosing to ignore him as best she could and walk along the railing, her hand brushing against the TARDIS. The ship began to hum and Evelyn quickly pulled her hand back.

The Doctor was alert now. The TARDIS responded to her touch as if she knew her, and it all felt wrong. Like a sick joke the universe was playing - throwing this copycat Rose to him right after he lost her.

“Who are you?” he snapped. He was standing by the console now, his arm branded with his sonic screwdriver.

Crap.

Evelyn knew this look. The Oncoming Storm was waking up. She had seen her father’s most protective state erupt a few times; when she or her mother were in danger, or when he had to make a gut-wrenching, universe saving, murderous decision. Rose tried to shield her from it as best she could, but she was part Time Lord and she could sense when her father was in this kind of agony no matter what her mother tried to do.

“Doctor -” she said, the word sounding foreign in her mouth. He was dad to her.

“I never told you my name,” he hissed, his arm inching closer as he adjusted his sonic screwdriver.

“Er….” Evelyn began, racking her brain for a way to fix this. “I - I, um…”

“Who. Are. You?” he said again, each word stabbing. She sighed.

“I’m Evelyn Tyler,” she said, her breath leaving her body as she looked down at her feet. “I’m your daughter.”

The Doctor dropped his sonic screwdriver.

Evelyn refused to make eye contact. She was kicking herself mentally for telling him this. Timelines were surely unraveling even more now, but he had cornered her and she had to tell him the truth.

“What?” he finally whispered after what felt like an eternity. “What did you say?”

Evelyn looked at him, her chocolate swirls a mirror of his as their eyes met. He saw it then, the piece of her that felt so familiar before; it was her eyes.

“Hi, Dad,” she whispered. The Doctor stood completely still, “Will you say something?”

“You….” he managed to croak out, still refusing to move. “You’re….”

“Yeah,” Evelyn said, biting her lip. “That’s all I can say. Timelines and whatnot.”

She grinned at him, hoping to make him laugh, but he just stiffened even more.

“How...are you here?” he whispered.

“Can’t say..” Evelyn replied. The less he knew, the better. “We just need to make sure we get Mu-… Rose, back,” she added.

The Doctor’s breath caught in his throat. He heard it, the word Evelyn tried to swallow. He could have guessed by her last name, and truly… he knew just from one glance who this girl’s mother was.

“Rose is -”

He stopped. His eyes were watering. He stepped closer to her now, terrified to touch her, as if she was a piece of glass he would surely break at the first chance he got. Evelyn didn’t say anything, but her silence told him all he needed to know.

“That’s not possible,” he said. “She’s human -”

Evelyn bit her lip. He knew so little. She knew, though, the fantastic story of Rose Tyler. How her DNA shifted when she absorbed the Time Vortex. It was a story this man had told her proudly.

Her mother. His wife.

The trace amounts of Time Lord DNA had allowed her to get pregnant after she and the Doctor declared their love for each other after Krop Tor. When she was carrying Evelyn, she absorbed a bit of her DNA as well, and Rose was the universe’s first and only impossible human. 100% human DNA with a Time Lord lifespan.

He would find all that out eventually, she knew. And she couldn’t tell him any of it now. The discovery of this knowledge were some of her parent’s happiest memories. So instead, she just continued to bite her lip and watched him.

“Dad?” she asked. His eyes snapped back to her, “Listen, um…”

“I don’t believe you,” he interrupted, his eyes dark. He had lost Rose today. His head and his hearts were at war and he felt tears threaten again, “This is cruel. This is so, so cruel.”

“Okay,” Evelyn said. It was a very Rose-like response, and she felt her mother’s ability to navigate her father’s mood swings taking over. They were both masters at it. Now, however, he was a bit moodier than she was used to, but she had to remember he was seventeen years younger and didn’t know the joys his life would be.

But she also knew him. And she knew what he would do. He would deflect. He would choose giddiness. Time Lord thing. She needed his help, and in order to get it, he had to believe.

“I guess a blood test in the Infirmary is needed. No problem,” she said, bouncing off to the hallway of the TARDIS. He stared at her, confused as she disappeared behind the wall. Grumbling, he closed the front door and followed her.

“You don’t even know where -”

“Second door on the left?” she asked, her blonde head poking out of the infirmary door. He sighed. She looked so much like Rose it physically hurt.

He knew, deep down, that she was right. But everything in his body protested and told him it was a trick. The universe did not work for him; it did not give him a happy ending. Today made that abundantly clear. One moment Rose was telling him she was never going to leave him, and the next she was sucked into a parallel world.

However, as he watched this girl prop herself up on the exam bed and swipe her skin atop her median cubital vein to prep for the needle she would have him use to draw a blood sample, he felt his hearts quicken. She looked like Rose but acted like him as she flashed him a smile, holding the sterile needle out in front of her.

“Ready!” she exclaimed. He took the needle from her, his hands shaking slightly. He moved to the sink and washed his hands, put gloves on, and returned to her side.

“You act like you’ve done this before,” he mused, watching her carefully.

“I was bitten by a radioactive snake droid when I was eleven. You took like… twenty samples to make sure I was okay,” she said laughing, but her smile quickly fell. Stop talking. Don’t tell him more. Timelines.

“Hm,” the Doctor said. If he had a daughter, that sounded like the kind of thing he would do. After a moment, the vial on the needle was full and he pulled it out of Evelyn’s arm, watching as she wrapped the site that was bleeding with gauze all on her own. She had done this before.

With bated breath he pulled his own DNA sample. He sighed.

“I… Rose,” he said, broken. Evelyn understood. He didn’t have anything with her DNA to compare.

“Just see what that says, first,” she offered, trying to nudge her father toward the machinery that would detect their bloodline. He sighed.

This was ludicrous. It was insane. He felt like an absolute idiot dropping this teenage girl’s blood down the tube, followed by his own. His brain just kept denying what his hearts already knew, until the results appeared on the screen.

She was his daughter.

He turned to her instantly, his mind reeling. She smiled at him, shrugging.

“Told ya,” she said.

He hugged her.

His daughter.

His and Rose Tyler’s.

His brain finally shut off and he acted from his hearts. He pulled back and looked at her with wide eyes, shaking his head.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he said, suddenly panicked. Evelyn looked at the ground.

“I know. You’re probably cursing the stars back home right now,” she whispered.

“So we’re… together? You and I? Which means…. Rose… she comes back?” he asked her. His voice was so hopeful and Evelyn groaned.

STOP. TALKING. EVELYN. She scolded herself.

“Don’t answer that,” the Doctor suddenly said, his face draining of all color. “Don’t. Don’t answer that. I…”

Evelyn saw the turmoil he was going through. She felt it through their blood bond. It brought tears to her eyes to see her father pine for her mother so openly; so desperately.

Soulmates. The Doctor and Rose were.

The Doctor’s brain was spinning.

“Dad?” Evelyn began, her eyes meeting his.

“Y-yeah?” he responded, choked up by the word and the events of the last two hours. He wanted Rose. He wanted her to meet their daughter, too.

In that moment, Evelyn felt herself begin to shake. This was spiraling out of control quickly and she needed her Dad to tell her what to do. But she was terrified; she felt her entire body crumble as she started to cry, the reality of how badly she screwed this up hitting her.

Her own existence was hanging in the balance. So were her parent’s entire lives together.

All because she wanted a picture of Jackie so her mum had something to remember her by.

All because she miscalculated her jump. And landed in the most pinnacle moment of her parent’s relationship.

“I… I know what I have to do. I have to fix this, but I… I… don’t know how to do that. I’m sixteen, this is well beyond what you’ve been able to teach me so far and... “ she trailed off, her face buried in her hands by the end.

“Evelyn,” he said seriously. “Timelines change all the time. Did… Rose, your mum, did… did she not-”

Evelyn shook her head. He understood. Before, she never fell into the void. Pete never came back. They were never separated.

He never felt this agonizing pain.

His breath quickened and he began to pace back and forth.

“Have we discussed fixed points in time?” he asked quickly. Evelyn nodded.

“Yeah. You said there are moments that cement timelines; a new piece of information or a shift in events. Changing those things disrupts the timeline they are in.” She responded. The Doctor grinned at her.

“Exactly. Clearly, something disrupted a fixed point today. Rose fell in, but all we need to do is create a new fixed point. If we do that, we can get her back,” he felt his hearts throbbing in his chest as he spoke, daring himself to see hope in the eyes of his sixteen year old daughter. She was here; she was real; which meant Rose once again defied the odds.

“I don’t know what in this situation is a fixed point and what isn’t,” Evelyn admitted, tears streaming down her face again. “I mean… I know some of them. But I’m so terrified I’m going to lose both of you because I mess one up again.”

The Doctor stopped and watched as Evelyn sobbed. He hugged her, his arms holding her and trying to convince her she would be safe, when suddenly their minds connected. Evelyn forgot to put up her defenses in the middle of all the tears, and the Doctor pulled away.

He didn’t stay long enough to see memories, but he could feel her sadness and fear. And it echoed his. Time Lord thing.

“Not possible,” he whispered.

“See?!” Evelyn cried. “How do I know that because that just happened I don’t mess up the first time we think the same thought later! It’s too much, it’s too hard!”

The Doctor saw the weight of the universe land on his daughter’s shoulders, and he stiffened. They had a Time Lord bond… He felt a new wave of composure wash over him. He would stop this. He would fix this. There was a future where he got to be with Rose and this perfect blend of the two of them, and he was not about to lose that.

“Evelyn, stop. Please,” He said, placing his hands on her shoulders. His eyes met hers and he smiled, and Evelyn noticed the lack of wrinkles around his eyes like she was used to. “Don’t worry about that.”

She bit her lip.

“No, seriously. Don’t. As long as you don’t tell me specifics about your childhood, I will still experience them as if they are the very first time. So will Rose. So will you. The only thing we need to worry about is undoing what happened today. Getting her back,” he said. His eyes were kind for the first time since they met, and she felt her stomach settle. These were the eyes of her father. The eyes that knew what to do.

“Okay,” she said. “Okay. That makes sense.”

“Good,” he said, smiling at her. “Come on, do you like chips? Your mum-”

“Loves chips, yeah,” Evelyn said, smiling. “I do. Love ‘em, too.”

The Doctor rambled on about how excited he was to meet her and how it’s going to make the moment he finds out she’s on the way even more exciting, now that he knew how wonderful she was. He placed some heated chips from the TARDIS kitchen in front of her and Evelyn smiled as she took a bite. He felt his breath hitch. SO much like Rose, she was.

“So… meeting me, it won’t change when Mum tells you about me for the first time?” she asked. The Doctor grinned so wide it looked like his mouth would fly away.

“Not at all. Not even a little bit. I’ll be even more excited,” he said seriously, stealing a chip from her plate.

Evelyn almost said something about how happy that made her, because her mum was probably so worried about not being able to tell him she was expecting at this exact moment, but she caught herself. That would disrupt the fixed point her parents adore so much. The moment her mother told him and her father kissed her belly and began to speak to her in Gallfriean. She rolled her eyes to herself as she ate her chips, wondering if other children know these kinds of details about their parents. Time Lord Thing.

They finished their chips and Evelyn yawned. The Doctor smiled.

“Past your bedtime?” he asked. Evelyn suppressed a snort very much like the ones her mother would give him.

“I’m sixteen, Dad. No more bedtimes. Plus, time is relative. What even is a bedtime?” she asked; a twinkle in her eye. He didn’t ask her this, but he suspected that was something he taught her. He also knew it probably drove Rose mad when their daughter was younger. “But… um… well, there’s a fixed point I know is supposed to happen soon, and…” she trailed off, looking at her father. He nodded.

He didn’t ask what it was. She didn’t tell him. But she knew one thing about time - it was relative. Which means they needed to get Rose back before she gave birth as soon as possible.

“We don’t have much time,” he said. Evelyn nodded.

“Does time move faster in parallel universes?” she asked carefully, afraid to reveal something she shouldn’t. Her father shrugged.

“Not sure. Depends on the universe. Where Rose is… it should be about the same, but we don’t want to risk that, it seems,” he said, “Alright. Drink something. Water, tea, whatever. Then we get to work. Allons-y Evelyn Tyler!”

Evelyn smiled. There was her father.

They exited the TARDIS and examined the floor at Canary Wharf that Rose disappeared from. The Doctor was desperately looking for a rift; something they might be able to cross into, pull Rose from, and bring her back. He was rambling to Evelyn about how the seal might not be completely closed now that she was here, too, but the longer they searched the more resigned they both came to the result that there was nothing they could do here.

“Do we… go back? Warn her?” Evelyn asked. “Tell her not to look up, to hold on, to ignore me?”

The Doctor frowned. “Is that what happened?” he asked, softly. Evelyn’s eyes widened. This was most definitely not a fixed point, she could feel that, since they were trying to undo this current state of events. She sighed, swallowing her tears.

“Yes. I… I used this,” she said, pulling the necklace out from around her neck. “I was trying to visit during Christmas, and was going to sneak a picture of Jackie for Mum. That part is the same in the future; Jackie and Pete living far away… I dunno, Mum has nothing’ to remember her Mum by and I just… she’s been really sad about it lately...” she broke off. She almost said too much again.

Because she knew a little secret. That Rose Tyler was pregnant again in her current timeline with her future baby brother. She was just three months, not even showing, but her hormones had been causing her lots of crying.

And her brother’s life depended on this undoing itself as well.

Don’t tell him that! Evelyn scolded herself.

The Doctor was still frowning, and he gently took the necklace from Evelyn’s hand; examining it. It was poorly made, complete rubbish in fact, but he could see that his daughter just wanted to do something nice for her mother. And he couldn’t be mad at her for that. Even though there was a gaping, visceral pain in his chest from being separated from Rose. Even though Evelyn could have been torn apart molecularly from this crapshoot of a time device.

Instead, he sighed and wrapped her in a hug as she began to cry into his lapel.

“Shhhh,” he said. He was surprised at how quickly his paternal instincts kicked in, and hoped that this confidence would last when she was baby again. He clenched his jaw; that would only happen if they succeeded. “That was… very Rose of you,” he whispered. She smiled. She wouldn’t tell him this, but those words were said to her often, especially as she got older.

“I’m sorry, Dad,” she whispered. “I know we’re doing what we can to change it back, but I just… I’m sorry.”

“I know. And to answer your question… no. We can’t go back and warn her. She’ll be too worried about it the entire battle and there are certain things… certain timelines that we need in tact,” he said, his mind drifting to the soar of his heart when he realized she truly meant forever with him. The look on Rose’s face when he let her stay. He needed those.

“So… what do we do?”

“There may not be a rift here, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t one somewhere,” the Doctor answered. “Specifically one place, I just… need to know where....”

They walked back to the TARDIS, the Doctor asking Evelyn all about her favorite things. She was quite hesitant to answer him, but did after his assurance it wouldn’t affect anything.

Chips.

Mint Ice Cream.

Action Packed Sci-Fi Movies

Her parents.

His smile was wide as can be when she said the last one. She looked at him very seriously, “I would literally do anything for both of you.”

“I have a very strong suspicion that feeling is mutual, Evelyn Tyler,” he said.

She nodded, taking a deep breath.

Her phone rang. She forgot she had that. Soniced with a signal ready to cross universes. And Timelines.

It was him. Future him.

She looked up and he raised his eyebrows - this ball was completely in her court. He was not about to get in the way of himself. He knew better.

Evelyn groaned and picked up the phone.

“Hi, Dad!” she said, a little over-excitedly. She glanced at her younger father who was rocking on the balls and toes of his feet, looking up and trying to focus on the ceiling tiles above the TARDIS.

“Evelyn!” she heard him say. “Where are you?! We went to wake you up and -”

“I’m okay, Dad. I’m so sorry… I…” She glanced over at the version of her father with her now, and he nodded. It would be okay.

“I’m actually with you. A younger you. Seventeen years ago younger,” she said.

The line was silent for a moment.

“Evelyn?” her father’s voice eventually asked, dark and heavy, “How did you get there?”

She bit her lip but told him everything, hoping the father she grew up with would be as forgiving as the one she just met. She heard him sigh.

“Can I talk to him?” her father asked. Evelyn bit her lip.

“Is that…. safe?” she began.

“I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t, just let me talk to him,” her father snapped, a little harsher than he meant it to, “I’m sorry. Your mother is still here. So, clearly we haven’t messed things up too badly yet.”

“She’s there?” Evelyn asked, her breath escaping her. Tears fell from her eyes and she saw her younger father’s eyes snap to her. His hearts were pounding. He took the phone from Evelyn as she tried to compose herself, his mind thinking the same thing his older self was.

“Hi,” he said seriously, wrapping an arm around Evelyn.

“She’s okay?” the older version asked himself, referring to Evelyn.

“Yes. She’s okay?” the younger version asked, referring to Rose.

“Yes,” he replied.

The younger Doctor let out a sigh. So did the older one. Then they started laughing like old chums. These women were going to be the death of them. Their impossible humans.

“There is a rift open now. I can feel it, I figured since Evelyn is here that -”

“Yes, yes. You need to find it. We’ll go back and try to grab Rose’s younger self before Pete does -”

“Right! Yes! Brilliant, then we can meet at the rift-”

“Yes exactly, and close it. Rose and Evelyn will switch -”

“Can never stay put, it seems -”

“Right!”

They were laughing, currently finding this entire situation hilarious. They had a plan, and they knew the plan would work. They just couldn’t fudge the timelines anymore than they already were. If they did, future Rose would disappear along with Evelyn. Suddenly, the younger Doctor’s face fell as a voice he didn’t expect to hear came ringing in his ears.

“Doctor.”

It was Rose. She had taken the phone from her husband and sounded very, very serious, clearly miffed that they were laughing about this situation.

“Hi,” he managed to squeak out. He missed her, he yearned for her. Hearing her voice made him want to run into the TARDIS and go find her. Now.

“Don’t let her out of your sight?” she asked. The Doctor’s eyes darted to Evelyn, who had managed to calm herself down a little.

“Not for a moment. Not till she’s with both of you,” he said very seriously. He would have his future with them, he could practically taste it.

“Thank you,” she said, “can you hand her the phone?”

The Doctor wanted to say so much more, but he could tell even through the phone that Rose was holding back. Most likely trying to keep some sort of timeline intact for them. But Rassalion, how we wanted to say three words to her he should have said ages back.

“Y-Yes. Rose?” he said, a little more desperate than he meant it to.

“Yeah?” she asked.

“See you soon,” he said, smiling. He could hear her grin through the phone, too.

“Not if I see you first,” she said, and his hearts soared, remembering the first time she’d said those words.

He suspected then, remembering the events that transpired after Krop Tor, that his current Rose may already be pregnant with this very lovely teenage girl sitting behind him as he handed her the phone. And he was giddy. And he suspected Evelyn knew this, and that the fixed point she was referring to was her birth. But he would never ask. He didn’t want to know now. He wanted that future memory intact.

Rose told Evelyn she loved her and to stay safe. And then they hung up.

What happened next happened quickly. The Doctor and Evelyn entered the Vortex, scanning and trying desperately to find the remaining rift.

The Doctor and Rose went back in time and waited. The TARDIS had a few upgrades in seventeen years, and luckily wouldn’t be able to be pulled into the Void. So, when Rose let go, the Doctor watched himself open the door to the TARDIS that suddenly appeared, wink at him, and pull Rose to safety. Then, they too entered the Vortex.

Normally, crossing his own timeline was a major risk, but the Doctor with Evelyn suddenly felt his brain swish, and a new memory was there. Rose was safe. It worked. There was suddenly a beautiful blend of the timeline in the Doctor’s head as his time stream now became the events of the last few hours. Meeting his daughter and working with her to get her mother back.

Not bad for a day in the life of a Time Lord.

He began to cry from happiness. For once the universe seemed to be on his side. Just then, the TARDIS located the final rift. A beach in Norway. Normally, he would have to use telepathy to tell Rose and the Doctor where to meet them, but Evelyn was a teenager from the future and he was able to borrow her cell phone. Human thing.

Evelyn got an idea. Her father told her what to do.

They all arrived at the rift at the same time. Both sets of the Doctor and Rose smiled when they realized where they were. Bad Wolf Bay. Of course.

Two perfect blue TARDIS’s, one slightly more dinged up than the other, materialized across from each other. The doors swung open, and Evelyn and a younger Rose both ran out. When they saw each other, it took both of their breath away.

Her daughter was four years younger than this current version of herself, and she looked back at her older self in shock. Rose nodded, smiling, and blew her younger self a kiss. She couldn’t touch her (she remembered the last time she touched her younger self), and the last thing they needed was a paradox, but Rose received the message. It’s going to be amazing.

It really was boggling all of their minds. They were practically twins, 20 year old Rose and her daughter. Except her eyes, which were very clearly the eyes of her favorite Time Lord.

They didn’t speak to each other, and also couldn’t touch, seeing as baby Evelyn was technically here, too. Rose absent-mindedly touched her belly. The Doctor, her Doctor, appeared in the doorway and saw, and his face broke out into a brilliant, brilliant smile. She was home.

She ran, as Evelyn watched in tears, at the perfect reunion of her parents. Her younger, more carefree, head over heels with a baby on the way in love parents. They kissed, he spun her around, and told her those three words he desperately needed to say. She said them back. He spoke to her belly. Evelyn felt her heart soar.

Suddenly, she felt two sets of arms crash into her.

Her parents.

Her older, still mostly carefree, head over heels with a baby on the way in love parents.

She sobbed. They sobbed. It felt like a blur in her mind.

“What were you thinking?!” Rose sighed, cupping her daughter’s face in her hands. “We got so lucky, Ev. But you don’t ever, ever, do that again, do you understand?”

Evelyn nodded. She wrapped her parents in a hug. The Doctor kissed her cheek, and looked over at his younger self with pride. This is what they created. This family.

There was an understanding between them as the younger Doctor held Rose to him; Evelyn no larger than a pea in her belly, and his older self, hugging his nearly full grown version of that same pea sized girl. Time was relative. It was pliable. It was fragile. And this - this incredible and unlikely turn of events, was nothing short of a miracle. And it was something they would all fight tooth and claw for for centuries to come.

Not that the younger Doctor or Rose knew that. But they would soon find out.

The Doctor kissed Rose, smiling into her lips, and walked over to his future family, his eyes asking silent permission from his future self and Rose to do one final thing before he left. They smiled, stepping back, as the Doctor hugged Evelyn.

“See you soon,” he whispered. She hugged him tightly, tears streaming down her cheeks as he pulled away.

“The one adventure I can never have, isn’t that what we said?” he asked himself, who grinned.

“Just you wait,” he replied.

The Doctor turned around and closed the door to the TARDIS, his life with Rose beginning.

The other Doctor sighed, wrapping his two favorite beings in the entire universe in his arms and holding them a little closer than he normally did.

I have a surprise for Mum. Evelyn thought. Only the Doctor heard the message and he nodded.

I remember. He said.

Five minutes. Evelyn promised.

Sure enough, five minutes later, they walked into the TARDIS and began to burn up a nearby sun to close the rift. Evelyn bit her lip as she pressed a button on the TARDIS and told her Mum to stand on a very specific spot on the grating. She did.

And when she looked up, she saw her mum. Jackie Tyler.

She was frozen; completely shocked. She looked over at Evelyn who made a gesture with her hands telling her to talk.

“Mum,” Rose said, her tears escaping their homes like wild waters.

“Sweetheart!” she said, “I love you! Where are you?”

“On the TARDIS. I love you, too, Mum. I - I’ve been wanting to tell you that for so long,” she said through her tears. Jackie smiled.

“How long has it been, love?” she asked.

Rose brought the Doctor and Evelyn onto the grating with her, showing them off. Silently showing her it had been quite a while in her timeline.

“Hello Jackie,” the Doctor said, smiling.

“You’re still around, then?” Jackie asked, half joking. He rolled his eyes and smiled, “Who is this?”

“I’m Evelyn. I’m your granddaughter.” She said, gripping her mother’s hand and she supported herself against her husband’s chest. The Doctor kissed Rose’s forehead, and he could feel her relief in her mind. This was better than a picture.

“Well. How bout that,” Jackie said, smiling. It was sad, but it’s also exactly what they both needed. Closure. They had about a minute left, and Rose told her Mum she was expecting another little one soon, and Jackie told her they were doing well in the parallel world. They had Tony, but she missed Rose more than words could describe. Rose said she felt the same, but she was glad they were happy. They said they loved each other again, and then it was over.

The sun was gone.

Rose collapsed on the grate as the Doctor held her, kissing her forehead again and whispering his love to her. Evelyn stood terrified. This backfired, this was not what was supposed to happen. It was supposed to make her happy. She was crying, blaming herself for this, when Rose looked up at her.

“Ev,” she said, smiling, “thank you.”

“W-what?” she asked, kneeling next to mother as she leaned against her father, “You aren’t…. mad?”

“Mad?” Rose asked, smiling brilliantly at her, “That was…the greatest gift. Getting to talk to her. To tell her a proper goodbye. I can’t tell you how much that’s weighed on me,” she whispered, pulling her daughter in for a hug. The Doctor smiled to himself.

“I love you, Mum,” Evelyn whispered, wrapping her arms tightly around her. “Dad. I love you,” She added as he put his arms on top of theirs. They stayed like this for a moment.

Turns out, she had helped after all.

The Doctor stepped back and smiled at them. Then held his hand out and helped Rose up, kissing her. He helped Evelyn up next, and she gave him a puzzled look when he kept his hand out after she was standing.

“Necklace, young lady,” he said. Evelyn smirked.

“Good idea,” she said, handing it to him. They approached the control panel as the Doctor tucked the Time Jumper in his pocket, and grinned wildly at each other.

“Allons-y!” they all shouted as the Doctor hit the lever to their next surprise destination. Time Lord Thing.

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About Loki (Season One)

(Sorry this is later than it should have been. I may or may not be experiencing burnout from reviewing every episode of the gayest show Disney has ever produced)

Salutations, random people on the internet. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Do you want to know what's fun about the Marvel Cinematic Universe? It is now officially at the point where the writers can do whatever the hell they want.

A TV series about two Avengers getting stuck in a series of sitcoms as one of them explores their personal grief? Sure.

Another series as a guy with metal bird wings fights the inner racism of his nation to take the mantel of representing the idea of what that nation should be? Why not?

A forgettable movie about a superspy and her much more mildly entertaining pretend family working together to kill the Godfather? F**king go for it (Let that be a taste for my Black Widow review in October)!

There is no limit to what you can get with these movies and shows anymore, and I personally consider that a good thing. It allows this franchise to lean further into creative insanity, thus embracing its comic roots in the process. Take Loki, for example. It is a series about an alternate version of one of Marvel's best villains bouncing around the timeline with Owen Wilson to prevent the end of the universe. It sounds like just the right amount of wackiness that it should be too good to fail.

But that's today's question: Did it fail? To find out my own answer to that, we're gonna have to dive deep into spoilers. So be wary as you continue reading.

With that said, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Loki Himself: Let's get this out of the way: This isn't the same Loki we've seen grow within five movies. The Loki in this series, while similar in many ways, is still his very own character. He goes through his own redemption and developments that fleshes out Loki, all through ways that, if I'm being honest with you, is done much better in six-hour-long episodes than in past films. Loki's story was already entertaining, but he didn't really grow that much aside from being this chaotic neutral character instead of this wickedly evil supervillain. Through his series, we get to see a gradual change in his personality, witnessing him understand his true nature and "glorious purpose," to the point where he's already this completely different person after one season. Large in part because of the position he's forced into.

Some fans might say that the series is less about Loki and more about the TVA. And while I can unquestionably see their point, I still believe that the TVA is the perfect way for Loki to grow. He's a character all about causing chaos and controlling others, so forcing him to work for an organization that takes that away allows Loki time to really do some introspection. Because if his tricks don't work, and his deceptions can't fool others, then who is he? Well, through this series, we see who he truly is: A character who is alone and is intended to be nothing more than a villain whose only truly selfless act got him killed in the end. Even if he wants to better himself, he can't because that "goes against the sacred timeline." Loki is a person who is destined to fail, and he gets to see it all with his own eyes by looking at what his life was meant to be and by observing what it could have been. It's all tragic and yet another example of these shows proving how they allow underdeveloped characters in the MCU a better chance to shine. Because if Loki can give even more depth to a character who's already compelling as is, then that is a feat worth admiration.

The Score: Let's give our gratitude toward Natalie Holt, who f**king killed it with this series score. Every piece she made is nothing short of glorious. Sylvie's and the TVA's themes particularly stand out, as they perfectly capture who/what they're representing. Such as how Sylvie's is big and boisterous where the TVA's sound eerie and almost unnatural. Holt also finds genius ways to implement other scores into the series, from using familiar tracks from the Thor movies to even rescoring "Ride of the Valkyries" in a way that makes a scene even more epic than it already could have been. The MCU isn't best known for its musical scores, partly because they aim to be suitable rather than memorable. But every now and again, something as spectacular as the Loki soundtrack sprinkles through the cracks of mediocrity. Making fans all the more grateful because of it.

There’s a lot of Talking: To some, this will be considered a complaint. Most fans of the MCU come for the action, comedy, and insanely lovable characters. Not so much for the dialogue and exposition. That being said, I consider all of the talking to be one of Loki's best features. All the background information about the TVA added with the character's backstories fascinates me, making me enthusiastic about learning more. Not everyone else will be as interested in lore and world-building as others, but just because something doesn't grab you, in particular, doesn't mean it isn't appealing at all. Case in point: There's a reason why the Five Nights at Freddy's franchise has lasted as long as it has, and it's not entirely because of how "scary" it is.

There's also the fact that most of the dialogue in Loki is highly engaging. I'll admit, some scenes do drag a bit. However, every line is delivered so well that I'm more likely to hang on to every word when characters simply have honest conversations with each other. And if I can be entertained by Loki talking with Morbius about jetskis, then I know a show is doing at least something right.

It’s Funny: This shouldn't be a surprise. The MCU is well-known for its quippy humor in the direct acknowledgment that it doesn't take itself too seriously. With that said, it is clear which movies and shows are intended to be taken seriously, while others are meant to be comedies. Loki tries to be a bit of both. There are some heavy scenes that impact the characters, and probably even some fans, due to how well-acted and professionally written they can be. However, this is also a series about a Norse god traveling through time to deal with alternate versions of himself, with one of them being an alligator. I'd personally consider it a crime against storytelling to not make it funny. Thankfully, the writers aren't idiots and know to make the series fun with a few flawlessly timed and delivered jokes that never really take away from the few good grim moments that actually work.

It Kept Me Surprised: About everything I appreciate about Loki, the fact that I could never really tell what direction it was going is what I consider its absolute best feature. Every time I think I knew what was going to happen, there was always this one big twist that heavily subverted any and every one of my expectations. Such as how each time I thought I knew who the big bad was in this series, it turns out that there was an even worse threat built up in the background. The best part is that these twists aren't meant for shock value. It's always supposed to drive the story forward, and on a rewatch, you can always tell how the seeds have been planted for making each surprise work. It's good that it kept fans guessing, as being predictable and expected would probably be the worst path to take when making a series about Loki, a character who's all about trickery and deception. So bonus points for being in line with the character.

The TVA: You can complain all you want about how the show is more about the TVA than it is Loki, but you can't deny how the organization in question is a solid addition to the MCU. Initially, it was entertaining to see Loki of all characters be taken aback by how the whole process works. And it was worth a chuckle seeing Infinity Stones, the most powerful objects in the universe, get treated as paperweights. However, as the season continues and we learn about the TVA, the writers show that their intention is to try and write a message about freedom vs. control. We've seen this before in movies like Captain America: The Winter Soldier or Captain America: Civil War, but with those films, it always felt like the writers were leaning more towards one answer instead of making it obscure over which decision is correct. This is why I enjoy the fact that Loki went on saying that there really is no right answer for this scenario. If the TVA doesn't prune variants, it could result in utter chaos and destruction that no one from any timeline can prepare themselves for. But when they do prune variants along with their timelines, it takes away all free will, forcing people to be someone they probably don't even want to be. It's a situation where there really is no middle ground. Even if you bring up how people could erase timelines more destructive than others, that still takes away free will on top of how there's no unbiased way of deciding which timelines are better or worse. And the series found a brilliant way to explain this moral: The season starts by showing how the TVA is necessary, to later point out how there are flaws and evil secrets within it, and ends things with the revelation that there are consequences without the TVA keeping the timeline in check. It's an epic showcase of fantastic ideas met with exquisite execution that I can't help but give my seal of approval to.

Miss Minutes: Not much to say. This was just a cute character, and I love that Tara Strong, one of the most popular voice actors, basically plays a role in the MCU now.

Justifying Avengers: Endgame: Smartest. Decision. This series. Made. Bar none.

Because when you establish that the main plot is about a character getting arrested for f**king over the timeline, you're immediately going to get people questioning, "Why do the Avengers get off scot-free?" So by quickly explaining how their time-traveling antics were supposed to happen, it negates every one of those complaints...or most of them. There are probably still a-holes who are poking holes in that logic, but they're not the ones writing this review, so f**k them.

Mobius: I didn't really expect Owen Wilson to do that good of a job in Loki. Primarily due to how the Cars franchise discredits him as a professional actor for...forever. With that said, Owen Wilson's Mobius might just be one of the most entertaining characters in the series. Yes, even more so than Loki himself. Mobius acts as the perfect straight man to Loki's antics, what with being so familiar with the supposed god of mischief through past variations of him. Because of that, it's always a blast seeing these two bounce off one another through Loki trying to trick a Loki expert, and said expert even deceiving Loki at times. Also, on his own, Mobius is still pretty fun. He has this sort of witty energy that's often present in Phil Coulson (Love that character too, BTW), but thanks to Owen Wilson's quirks in his acting, there's a lot more energy to Mobius than one would find in Coulson. As well as a tad bit of tragedy because of Mobius being a variant and having no clue what his life used to be. It's a lot to unpack and is impressively written, added to how it's Owen Wilson who helps make the character work as well as he did. Cars may not have done much for his career, but Loki sure as hell showed his strengths.

Ravonna Renslayer: Probably the least entertaining character, but definitely one of the most intriguing. At least to me.

Ravonna is a character who is so steadfast in her believes that she refuses to accept that she may be wrong. Without the proper writing, someone like Ravonna could tick off (ha) certain people. Personally, I believe that Ravonna is written well enough where even though I disagree with her belief, I can understand where she's coming from. She's done so much for the TVA, bringing an end to so many variants and timelines that she can't accept that it was all for nothing. In short, Ravonna represents the control side of the freedom vs. control theme that the writers are pushing. Her presence is necessary while still being an appealing character instead of a plot device. Again, at least to me.

Hunter B-15: I have no strong feelings one way or another towards B-15's personality, but I will admit that I love the expectation-subversion done with her. She has this air of someone who's like, "I'm this by-the-books badass cop, and I will only warm up to this cocky rookie after several instances of them proving themselves." That's...technically not B-15. She's the first to see Loki isn't that bad, but only because B-15 is the first in the main cast to learn the hidden vile present in the TVA. It makes her change in point of view more believable than how writers usually work a character like hers, on top of adding a new type of engaging motivation for why she fights. I may not particularly enjoy her personality, but I do love her contributions.

Loki Watching What His Life Could Have Been: This was a brilliant decision by the writers. It's basically having Loki speedrun his own character development through witnessing what he could have gone through and seeing the person he's meant to be, providing a decent explanation for why he decides to work for the TVA. And on the plus side, Tom Hiddleston did a fantastic job at portraying the right emotions the character would have through a moment like this. Such as grief, tearful mirth, and borderline shock and horror. It's a scene that no other character could go through, as no one but Loki needed a wake-up call for who he truly is. This series might heavily focus on the TVA, but scenes like this prove just who's the star of the show.

Loki Causing Mischief in Pompeii: I just really love this scene. It's so chaotic and hilarious, all heavily carried by the fact that you can tell that Tom Hiddleston is having the time of his damn life being this character. What more can I say about it.

Sylvie: The first of many surprises this season offered, and boy was she a great one.

Despite being an alternate version of Loki, I do appreciate that Sylvie's her own character and not just "Loki, but with boobs." She still has the charm and charisma, but she also comes across as more hardened and intelligent when compared to the mischievous prick we've grown to love. A large part of that is due to her backstory, which might just be the most tragic one these movies and shows have ever made. Sylvie got taken away when she was a little girl, losing everything she knew and loved, and it was all for something that the people who arrested her don't even remember. How sad is that? The fact that her life got permanently screwed over, leaving zero impact on the people responsible for it. As badass as it is to hear her say she grew up at the ends of a thousand worlds (that's an album title if I ever heard one), it really is depressing to know what she went through. It also makes her the perfect candidate to represent the freedom side of the freedom vs. control argument. Because she's absolutely going to want to fight to put an end to the people who decide how the lives of trillions should be. Those same people took everything from Sylvie, and if I were in her position, I'd probably do the same thing. Of course, we all know the consequences that come from this, and people might criticize Sylvie the same way they complain about Thor and Star Lord for screwing over the universe in Avengers: Infinity War. But here's the thing: Sylvie's goals are driven by vengeance, which can blind people from any other alternatives. Meaning her killing He Who Remains is less of a story flaw and more of a character flaw. It may be a bad decision, but that's for Season Two Sylvie to figure out. For now, I'll just appreciate the well-written and highly compelling character we got this season and eagerly wait as we see what happens next with her.

The Oneshot in Episode Three: Not as epic as the hallway scene in Daredevil, but I do find it impressive that it tries to combine real effects, fighting, and CGI in a way where it's all convincing enough.

Lady Sif Kicking Loki in the D**k: This is a scene that makes me realize why I love this series. At first, I laugh at Loki being stuck in a time loop where Lady Sif kicks him in the d**k over and over again. But a few scenes later, this setup actually works as a character moment that explains why Loki does the things he does.

This series crafted phenomenal character development through Loki getting kicked in the d**k by the most underrated badass of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It's a perfect balance of comedy and drama that not every story can nail, yet Loki seemed like it did with very little effort.

Classic Loki: This variant shows the true tragedy of being Loki. The only way to survive is to live in isolation, far away from everything and everyone he loves, only to end up having his one good deed result in his death anyways. Classic Loki is definitive proof that no matter what face they have, Lokis never gets happy endings. They're destined to lose, but at least this version knows that if you're going out, you're going out big. And at least he got to go out with a mischievous laugh.

(Plus, the fact that he's wearing Loki's first costume from the comics is a pretty cute callback).

Alligator Loki: Alligator Loki is surprisingly adorable, and if you know me, you know that I can't resist cute s**t. It's not in my nature.

Loki on Loki Violence: If you thought Loki going ham in Pompeii was chaotic, that was nothing to this scene. Because watching these Lokis backstab one another, to full-on murdering each other, is a moment that is best described as pure, unadulterated chaos. And I. Loved. Every. Second of it.

The Opening Logo for the Season Finale: I'm still not that big of a fan of the opening fanfare playing for each episode, but I will admit that it was a cool feature to play vocal clips of famous quotes when the corresponding character appears. It's a great way of showing the chaos of how the "sacred timeline" works without having it to be explained further.

The Citadel: I adore the set design of the Citadel. So much history and backstory shine through the state of every room the characters walk into. You get a perfect picture of what exactly happened, but seeing how ninety percent of the place is in shambles, it's pretty evident that not everything turned out peachy keen. And as a personal note, my favorite aspect of the Citadel is the yellow cracks in the walls. It looks as though reality itself is cracking apart, which is pretty fitting when considering where the Citadel actually is.

He Who Remains: This man. I. Love. This man.

I love this man for two reasons.

A. He's a ton of fun. Credit to that goes to the performance delivered by Jonathon Majors. Not only is it apparent that Majors is having a blast, but he does a great job at conveying how He Who Remains is a strategic individual but is still very much off his rocker. These villains are always my favorite due to how much of a blast it is seeing someone with high intelligence just embracing their own insanity. If you ask me, personalities are always essential for villains. Because even when they have the generic plot to rule everything around them, you're at least going to remember who they are for how entertaining they were. Thankfully He Who Remains has that entertainment value, as it makes me really excited for his eventual return, whether it'd be strictly through Loki Season Two or perhaps future movies.

And B. He Who Remains is a fantastic foil for Loki. He Who Remains is everything Loki wishes he could have been, causing so much death, destruction, and chaos to the multiverse. The important factor is that he does it all through order and control. The one thing Loki despises, and He Who Remains uses it to his advantage. I feel like that's what makes him the perfect antagonist to Loki, thanks to him winning the game by not playing it. I would love it if He Who Remains makes further appearances in future movies and shows, especially given how he's hinted to be Kane the Conqueror, but if he's only the main antagonist in Loki, I'm still all for it. He was a great character in his short time on screen, and I can't wait to see what happens next with him.

WHAT I DISLIKED

Revealing that Loki was D.B. Cooper: A cute scene, but it's really unnecessary. It adds nothing to the plot, and I feel like if it was cut out entirely, it wouldn't have been the end of the world...Yeah. That's it.

That's my one and only complaint about this season.

Maybe some scenes drag a bit, and I guess Episode Three is kind of the weakest, but there's not really anything that this series does poorly that warrants an in-depth complaint.

Nope.

Nothing at all...

…

...

...I'm not touching that "controversy" of Loki falling for Sylvie instead of Mobius. That's a situation where there are no winners.

Only losers.

Exclusively losers.

Other than that, this season was amazing!

IN CONCLUSION

I'd give the first season of Loki a well-earned A, with a 9.5 through my usual MCU ranking system. It turns out, it really is the best type of wackiness that was just too good to fail. The characters are fun and likable, the comedy and drama worked excellently, and the expansive world-building made me really intrigued with the more we learned. It's hard to say if Season Two will keep this momentum, but that's for the future to figure out. For now, let's just sit back and enjoy the chaos.

(Now, if you don't excuse me, I have to figure out how to review Marvel's What If...)

[akillysheel]

TENUOUS.  ( 1 )

Summary:  Cthugha explains a little more about who he is and why he’s there--  besides the obvious, of course. Warnings:  N/A. Notes:  Yes, nouns like ‘Balance’ and ‘Universe’ are capitalised on purpose.

    THE  STRANGER  NAVIGATED  the precinct as if he’d been there before.  He wound his way through tables like a snake, ignoring the curious glances that officers shot him as he passed.  As he reached Kuro's office, the Sheriff was almost convinced that he was the one who didn't know his way around the station.

    "Oh,"   the boy mused, head tilted upwards in the direction of his corkboard.  It was littered with different coloured post-it notes and twine, Kuro’s neat block letters bold against their garish backdrop.   "An upgrade for sure."

    "Who are you?"   Kuro asked slowly, enunciating every word as he stared at him intensely.  Part of him felt that he should recognise him.  Perhaps it was the familiarity that he'd been approached with.

    "My name is Cthugha.  I came from the future,"   he replied nonchalantly, arms tucked behind his back as he looked over the board.  He winced slightly upon seeing one of the names on one of the many sticky tabs.   "You never find that one, by the way."

    "Excuse me?"    Now he felt irked.   "That's a real case, y'know.  This girl's really missing.  That's somebody's daughter."

    "Unfortunate,"   Cthugha said, his tone a fraction softer.

    "She ain't fodder fer yer li'l sideshow.  She's a real person 'n' she's Raku-knows-where.  Y'don't have the right to t'be involvin' her in yer stunt."

    The look that Cthugha shot over his shoulder was cold.  After a beat of silence:   "Her name is Olivia Brannon.  She went missing a week ago.  You found her things in a field directly adjacent to the subway tunnel--  her dorm keys, student ID and textbooks--  but you have no further leads.  You think that she's playing hooky with a boyfriend she's keeping a secret from her overbearing parents--  that she threw her belongings as a student away to pursue a life with him in private--  but he's still in town and hasn't seen her either.  You’ve pursued him for questioning but he’s come back clean as a whistle.  He even has an iron-clad alibi under his belt!  You don't know where else to look, so you trawl through town like a dog sniffing for blood, only to find nothing.  The case eventually goes cold."   A thin smile shaped his lips as he took in Kuro's stupefied expression, impatient and derisive.   "How's that for a stunt, Sheriff Braav?"

    "H-How did you--"

    "What part of 'the future' do you not understand?"

    A thick blanket of silence befell them, and Kuro found himself leaning against the wall for balance.  Just five minutes ago, it had been a typical Tuesday morning.  Now, it felt as if his world was teetering to one side, his pulse an electrical current that thrummed in each temple.  It wasn't easy to bewilder him after all that he'd seen, but this curious stranger had achieved it in a matter of minutes.  How else was he supposed to react to being told airtight details about a case that hadn’t been made public knowledge yet?

    How is any of this happening?  What is happening?  None of this is right.     Who is this guy?

     "I won't waste any time,"   Cthugha said soberly, moving away from the board.  He circled Kuro's desk like a vulture, blue eyes scanning the tabletop with apparent interest.  A finger grazed a half-solved rubix cube curiously.   "I've come for one very important thing:  the Balance is at stake.  I need to fix it.  You can help me."

     "What…?"   Kuro blurted stupidly, mind reeling.   "What're y'talkin' about?"

     "Alright."   Cthugha paused to pinch the bridge of his nose.   "I'm gonna need ya to sharpen up, detective.  I came to you because I know you're smart."

    “Surely y’realise how insane this is!”   Kuro bit back, finding a foothold in the conversation.   “This kid materialises out of nowhere--”

    “Not a kid.”

    “-- ‘n’ tells me that he’s from the future, ‘n’ that he’s here t’restore the Universe’s Balance--”

    “In layman's terms.”

    “--’n’ that he needs my help t’do it.  Ten minutes ago, I was enjoyin’ a cup’a coffee ‘n’ finishin’ the paperwork fer an open-’n’-shut robbery!  This shit is  WAY  outta my professional league.”

    There was a lilt in the conversation--  one in which was stolen by the subtle tilt of Cthugha’s head.  There was a strange metaphysical gravity that surrounded him, one that drew in attention like he was sucking it through a straw.

    In a small, hopeful voice:   “... you have coffee?”  

    “That’s what y’take away from everythin’ I just said?!”

    “I haven’t had a good cup of coffee in months,”   murmured Cthugha, scratching his chin pensively.  Whatever peril the world was in, it seemed to be irrelevant to him now.   “I had some at a diner in a pocket dimension a couple weeks ago.  The waitress was lovely but the coffee was…”   His teeth came together in the form of a fierce grimace.   “... sweet.”

    Kuro blinked owlishly, his mind racing.  Everything was happening so quickly.  He'd had no time to process the other's abrasive introduction, nor the deeper meaning of the things he was saying.  The most he knew of the 'Balance' was that it was a cosmic force that even God's wrestled with.  On the handful of occasions that it had come up in conversation, Raku was either struggling to maintain it or finding loopholes to avoid doing unsavoury things to appease it. Hardly an educational display.

    "How about…"   It was a sheepish start, no doubt, the town-hero more than a little out of sorts.  He paused to stand up straight again, trying to strengthen his resolve.  Get it together.  He's scrawny.  But so is Raku.  He owns the very ground that you stand on.   "... I put on a pot of coffee, and we talk more?"

     "See, now it feels like you’re meeting me in the middle."

                                                                ________

    A sense of normalcy returned to him as he took a sip of his coffee.  The Regular Tuesday vibes are back.

    "What's the verdict?"   he asked as he watched Cthugha peer into his cup.  He found it incredibly odd that somebody who looked so… on-the-cusp-of-adulthood-and-no-older had asked for it black, all but turning his nose up at the offer of sugar and milk.

    "Hm..."   He hummed thoughtfully, eyes narrowing at the dark abyss before him.  Then, he took a sip.  Kuro watched as he paused mid-drink, eyes widening slightly.  After a moment, he began to gulp it down, continuing until his mug was empty.  

     After a relieved little exhale:   "Refill?"

    "Sure…?"   the Sheriff said hesitantly, reaching for the pot and filling his mug again.  He seemed to slow down for his second helping, really taking in the taste of it.

    "Ah…  this district gets it.  So much flavour,"   Cthugha praised, looking comfortable in his cross-legged position in Kuro's chair.  It's frame dwarfed him, the black leather suiting his businesslike approach.   “I’ve found that’s a common trend here.   Huros make good food too;  organic produce, and lots of spices and herbs.”

    "Uh, yeah…"   He couldn't focus on the idle chatter.  He had too many questions--  too many burning queries-- to ask for anything other than answers to them.   "So about why you're here--"

    "Well, as you observed, I can tell the future, because I've seen it.  I--"

    "But how?"   Kuro interrupted, unfolding a rickety metal chair and sitting on it.  It creaked angrily beneath his weight, his six-and-a-half-foot frame not built for its meagre services.   "Who are y'?  What are y’?  I-- I've met Raku several times over and not even he can mess with time--"

    "I'm sort of his foil,"   Cthugha answered impatiently, his foot tapping against the arm of the chair.   "Look, do we have to play Guess Who right now?  There're more important things--"

    "I need t'know how y'knew about Olivia.  I ain’t gonna help y’at all ‘til I know that.  How do I know yer trustworthy?  How can I be sure my own officers ain’t leakin’ things t’outside sources?   I don’t know y’.  How could y’know?"

    There was a tense pause between them, one that seemed to reverberate throughout the office.  Suddenly, Kuro felt incredibly claustrophobic--  as if the sound bouncing off of the walls was drawing closer and closer.  He watched as Cthugha sighed, drawing his mug to his lips for a final time before setting it down in his lap.

    "Fine.  I'll tell you.  Once.  So you’d better listen good.  You just remember--  you asked for this,"   he warned, tone anything but ceremonious as he wagged a finger at him.   "God's can't touch time because that's what we rifters are for, dummy.  We govern the fabric of reality. Time's separate to a God's responsibilities, see.  Gods maintain districts and concepts; we maintain things relating to the Universe itself.  Time and space, namely.  Those things're outside of a God's scope."

    "So yer…  above Raku?"

    "I'd argue yes,"   the rifter said pridefully.   "That little chump's only got a district to look after.  I've got this entire timeline, and parallel timelines that're born from this timeline."   He retrieved his coffee, brought it to his mouth.  With his lips against the rim:   "... but it doesn't matter.  We work together.  In tandem.  We help each other.  The basic idea is that Gods keep their people happy;  those happy people are way more likely to stick to their destined paths, which means less problems for rifters.  If there is a threat to the peace of the district, the God quells it;  if it is a threat to the Balance, I do.  We ultimately both serve the same function--  to keep the Universe happy--  but we're at opposite ends of the spectrum."

    "We're…  pre-determined?"

    "Heh.  I forgot you're the existential type,"   Cthugha tittered numbly.   "No.  Not in the way you're thinking anyway.  People live in more of a probability map than they do a script;  they have a list of things they could do in any given situation and can select from most of them without any real consequence to the Balance.  People have free will because the Universe isn’t overly fragile, get it?  The continuum isn’t going to shit itself if you take a detour from your usual lunch order.  Every choice births a parallel universe in which the other was made.  Most of these parallel universes are benign and don't need to be touched.  So basically, you could make any choice and each of them would be as inconsequential to me."   At least, if we’re talking about your average choices.   “No more about this, okay?  It isn’t gonna do you any good.  I’m not really supposed to talk about it, but since you were so stubborn...”

    He wasn't going to get into the ins and outs of his job, especially not with a simple huro.  It wasn’t productive.  It wasted time.  It could have catastrophic consequences for his mortal mind.  And the Balance, above all, was a picky sonuvabitch that Cthugha didn’t understand.  Sometimes a store being out of a person's favourite sandwich led to them becoming an angry, tyrannical politician that eventually ended the world.  Other times, a person could murder seventeen children in cold blood and the Balance remained unchanged, seeing those seventeen lives as pre-determined losses.  He’d stopped asking questions a long time ago--  had learned to accept that, in most instances, what was meant to be was meant to be.

    Not when it concerned the end of all life in the Aphanta Region, though.

    Kuro looked dizzy.  He sank a little further into his seat, his tanky frame looking all but comical in the small fold-up chair.   "... 'n' what can I do about any'a this, huh?  I'm just a police officer.  A damn good one, sure, but I’m no cosmic cop."

     "Mm,"   agreed the time-keeper, a solitary nod offered.   "Sure.  But you're a police officer in a district that contains a Universal Hazard."

    "Universal Hazard…?"

    "Sheriff."   It was the first time that Cthugha had paused to find the correct words during their conversation.  He seemed brazen, largely unconcerned with hurting peoples' feelings, but this appeared to be an exception.  Kuro steeled himself, spine turning rigid.   "... I've seen the death of this district, then its neighbours, then beyond.  It all circles back to one very particular problem:  a case you never solve."

    “Brannon…?”   he asked, feeling his heart leap into his throat.

    “Not her.  Someone whose case’s gotten so cold it’s practically subzero,”   Cthugha murmured, polishing off the last of his coffee with a well-timed swallow.   “Remember Mia Vanton?”

    “... oh shit.”

    Cthugha nodded solemnly.     “Yeah.  Her.”

[representativecharacters]

Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester

From: Supernatural

Representation: mlm (*see “issues” section), abuse survivor (Dean) 

Their Importance: Dean and Cas are two characters that many in fandom viewed as LGBTQIA+, with the common belief being that Dean Winchester is bisexual. 

There’s a lot about Supernatural and Destiel, and Dean in general, which I’ll go over in the “issues” section, but I think many people in fandom didn’t expect for the show to actually go anywhere with them - until 15x18, when Cas confesses his love to Dean. It’s riddled with issues, yes, but just speaking as a bi girl who’s been watching Supernatural for a decade now, watching Cas confess his love for Dean was just so incredibly validating. It validated that I - and other fans - weren’t delusional when looking for representation from Cas (and Dean). Cas is a wonderful character and gave a new life to the show, and has been a fixture of the show for 10 years. While like with every character he has his ups and downs, he is a kind, loving character, and the only main character who actually survives the show. Despite the issues on the show, knowing that Cas is canonically LGBT+ is something that’s comforting and validating to me, and continues to be so even as Supernatural kind of trainwrecks around everything else. 

For myself, watching the show, I saw a lot of myself and my journey in Dean. Watching him grow and develop as a character, and try to experience happiness and find comfort in his found family was wonderful for me to see. I started this show when I was a young closeted kid, and I clung to Dean in a way that I didn’t fully understand until years later. I didn’t actually expect him to be explicitly mlm in the show, and for the most part, that didn’t happen - until the Spanish dub. There, we see the romantic reciprocation to Cas, and that’s something that is real and cannot be taken away. In fact, although it was said that it was a “rogue” translator, the episode will not be redubbed, so it is canon in a version of the show. Despite the fact that he didn’t get canonized in a way I expected or would have ever hoped, it still does give me some joy to know that he is canonically LGBT+ (and in my opinion, bi, although there is no actual label given to Dean). Even if it’s not in the version of the show I watched, I can go back and watch the Spanish dub of the episode and see that representation happen onscreen, and that means something to me. 

Issues: The issues list for this show is a mile long, so I’ve split it up into sections and put most of it under a read more:

Dean + Canon Rep: Trying to wade through if Dean is actually canonically LGBTQ+ was....a struggle, to say the least, and I almost didn’t put him into this submission. If you watch the show in English, Dean never once actually reciprocates feelings for Cas, states that he’s into men, or is even confirmed to be in a relationship with other men. Although for many, it is implied, the average audience member may not see Dean as canonically LGBTQ+. However, in the Spanish dub of the show, when Castiel confesses his love to Dean (which is an explicit romantic “I love you”), Dean says “y yo a ti”, which is a reciprocation of Cas’s romantic confession. This post is very long as it is, so I want to link to @destielintheimpala’s timeline of events that occurred for Supernatural and I think it best lays out all the issues about 15x18-20, why it’s been so difficult trying to figure out Dean’s sexuality in canon, why fandom is upset, and can clear up any misinformation. This situation also goes into queerbaiting quite a bit (something Supernatural is infamously known for), which you can read in this article from @thecoolestfreakyouknow. 

Reading Dean as a queer character as well - having a character who is queer (or queercoded) and an abuse survivor and then immediately killing him off is also a huge problem. As mentioned in the link above, Jensen Ackles himself felt uneasy about Dean’s ending, and many Dean fans felt the same way. To have a character suffer through abuse and traumas for 15 seasons, imply or straight out have him be LGBT+ (depending on the canon), and then immediately killing him off in the finale is needless to say, an odd choice. 

Also, with Dean being an abuse survivor - his father, John Winchester, is commonly shown to be neglectful throughout the show, and Dean has to raise his younger brother Sam by himself most times. He expresses trauma from the experiences he’s had growing up with their father and being forced to hunt at a young age. However, the show weirdly seems to flip flop on their portrayal of John, despite also specifically stating that what he put his children through was child abuse. They have Sam telling John that he did the best he could, they have characters excusing away John’s actions, etc. - it was like the writers themselves couldn’t figure out if they wanted John to have been an abusive parent or not. The show ends with John in Heaven with Mary - thus absolving John of his actions and putting him in the same Heaven with the children he abused. 

Castiel: Cas confesses his love for Dean in 15x18, but gets dragged away to a void called “The Empty” immediately afterwards, where he’s meant to be suffering for all of eternity. Cas does get out of The Empty, and even helps to rebuild Heaven - he’s actually one of the few characters to survive the finale - but he never appears onscreen again after 15x18, so fans’ last image of him is getting dragged away to The Empty. Dean never has a follow-up conversation, and there was only one line referencing Cas’s fate, so many fans believed he was still in The Empty suffering.

As the timeline linked above shows, the situation around Destiel is an odd one - the Spanish dub, cast’s overall silence, the lack of Misha Collins in the finale all led fans to believe that something was switched around last minute in terms of Dean’s sexuality and Destiel as a general ship. Obviously, this is speculation unless someone from the show explicitly comes out and says that fans are correct, but it’s included in the issues section because - regardless of it it turns out to be true or not - it’s such a big part of the issues currently surrounding Supernatural and canon representation. In any case, however, Castiel’s confession in 15x18 gave fans hope where they may not have had hope before, and then it was unceremoniously dropped with no real follow up - from a writing standpoint, it isn’t good writing to confirm a major character as queer via a love confession and then never go back to that plot point. While I’m happy that Cas is canonically queer and I’m not trying to say that I would rather not have more representation, I do look back on the show and wonder, with the story that made it to screen, what the actual point of writing that in was. 

As mentioned before, Castiel was a main character on the show for 10 years - while I’m glad that his character survives the series, to not have him show up in the final two episodes (particularly the finale, and especially after canonically making him LGBTQ+) felt like a slap in the face to both the character and the audience who loved him. 

Miscellaneous treatment of characters: In general, Supernatural has many problems in its treatment of female, characters of color, and LGBTQ+ characters. Alongside being incredibly underrepresented in the show, if they do show up, they are commonly tortured, treated poorly, and/or killed off (if not all of the above). Even thinking about their recurring characters who are also representative - Kevin, their only recurring Asian character, is killed off and appears as a ghost multiple times, Charlie, who is a lesbian, gets killed off and replaced in the show with an Alternate Universe version of herself, Eileen, a Deaf woman, gets killed off and then is brought back and is implied to survive the show, but like Cas, never actually shows up in the final two episodes even though she’s Sam’s girlfriend. I can think of very few minority characters in the show in general, much less those who got any type of happy ending. 

[ourstarscollided]

jatp fanworks appreciation - day 3 (wips)

wip wednesday - I didn’t think I wanted to join in on this day for my own stuff considering I’ve never posted anything original for this fandom, but I think this might just be the little boost I need from myself to actually finish the wips that I have sitting around. I am peer pressuring myself and holding myself accountable by posting this - or at least that’s what I’m telling myself. Most of the past 6 mths has just been me screaming to no one in a Google Doc, so here are some things I’ve been ruminating about over the last 6 months (and if my secret agenda is to get other people to write about it so I don’t have to? Then that’s between you and me).

Everything’s under a read more because I like giving context and that usually spirals out of control!?!?

If you would like to see more from any of the below, feel free to shoot me an ask/message and I can definitely share some more! (Or you can just come yell at me about JATP in general.)

Strangers Fake Dating AU // Julie x Luke

I’m a simple person. I see a prompt, I latch onto it, and then I completely miss the entire point of the prompt as my imagination goes wild for no real reason. This really was supposed to be a super short drabble, but it manifested into a 3k+ thing that isn’t even finished.

Julie’s not really sure what she’s supposed to do now. Nothing has ever prepared her for a situation in which she’s supposed to pretend to be a stranger’s girlfriend, especially if that situation involves parents. Does she continue this ruse? Can she come up with a quick enough excuse to tell this Luke character that she actually can’t stay? What if this is just all an elaborate plan to kidnap her? Has she been listening to too many true crime podcasts? Why does Luke smell so good? Does he know how to cook? Why does his shirt not have sleeves? What-

“I can hear you thinking from here.” Her head whips up at the sound of Luke’s voice, which is now at a whisper and kind of frantic. “I just- I just really needed to get my mom off my back, so I kinda need you to pretend to be my girlfriend. Just for the night. I swear I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

Julie studies Luke’s face and it’s nearly impossible to not cave under his gaze, which can only be simply described as ‘puppy dog eyes’. She finds herself smiling back, letting out a huff, “I hope you like lasagna.” And the grin that spreads across the boy’s face is enough for her to know that he’s incredibly relieved that she agreed.

“I’m Luke by the way. Luke Patterson.”

(Okay, he’s kinda cute. And no one this cute is a serial killer. Right?)

She gives a small smile back, “I’m Julie.”

//

5+1 alive!Juke AU // Julie x Luke

Inspired by paper - LANY

This is one of the first things I ever felt the urge to write down back in September because I love exploring the idea of how two people can appear to be the perfect relationship on the outside, but are actually fighting their own demons. Especially when it comes to celebrities and people who are in the spotlight. It’s basically a 5+1 fic about the moments from other people’s perspectives who happen to orbit around Julie/Luke that all revolve around paper. My outline for this is so long because I can’t manage to narrow it down, and there’s zero cohesiveness but I do have little things jotted down.

“Hey little man,” Luke’s knelt down to match his 5 year-old height, and a hand extends out to him for a high five, “What are you doing here?”

His eyes flicker to the left, towards his own apartment door, where his mom is giving him an encouraging nod. “ I- I just wanted to-” he stutters and finds himself looking at his feet as he shuffles back and forth on the spot. “I- I drew you guys something!”

He shoves the paper out towards the older boy in front of him, but doesn’t look up.

//

Reincarnation AU // Julie x Luke

I had a random thought in December about how magical it is that Julie and Luke are so tied to one another that their love transcends time and space, which will always lead them back to one another. I remember reading a book a long time ago about how the main character is fated to die at a certain age, and that kind of sparked this little idea. I can’t bring myself to actually plot out every single timeline right now, but I did manage to write a little bit.

It will never be as complex as Rosie’s idea and all the wonderful additions in the link here, and I don’t really plan on it being anything more than a small idea. But I really do still think someone should write some sort of reincarnation AU cause I’d hop on that so fast!!

“Okay- that’s not- Luke. You seriously just ran away?”

“What was I supposed to do Alex? We all know how this ends.”

His friend looks at him, face painted in understanding and he sighs, “Yeah. Yeah, we do.”

Because it’s true, Alex does know, so does Reggie and Bobby. Most importantly, so does Luke. It’s the exact same tragic love story every time.

Call it a curse or fate or destiny. Maybe it’s because Mercury is in retrograde. Whatever. It always ends the same way - with a heartbreaking goodbye, a whisper of the promise that they’ll find each other again, and the possibility of a happy ending. He’s said the same goodbye at least 734 times, but it’s not like he’s counting or anything. Fuck the universe and its mystical ways.

//

Competitive Alex // Alex x Willie

No real thoughts or reasons for this other than I just think I self-projected my need to play board games with people in real life into a fic. And maybe a little bit of my competitiveness onto Alex and then threw in Willie because I think he would be able to handle it while also finding it endearing. I also have written nothing about the actual competitiveness, it’s just 2k words of Alex crushing on Willie.

“Wait,” his eyes dart between the three boys, “You both know Willie? How come I’ve never met him?”

His roommates look at each other, and there’s a smirk on Luke’s face when he says, “Actually Alex, I think you have. Remember that time you got really drunk after one of our shows?”

Oh no. He really hopes that it’s not the time he’s thinking of, so he tries to sound nonchalant. “You’re going to have to be more specific, Luke.”

“The night we played at that tiny bar at the edge of the campus! We got paid in those tiny colourful shots?” He doesn’t really know where Luke is going with this, so he’s slowly nodding along. “And you were super upset that the hot dog vendor at the end of the street was closed?”

//

Dear Julie, Love Mom series

I made myself sad with this thought when I first watched the show and was talking to my friend about how I think that Rose would’ve left messages for the Molina family, especially when we found out that Wake Up was actually from her mom. I wrote a bigger explanation for it here.

Anyways, I started with the one for Julie’s wedding and it kind of became an 8k monster with three different POVs?!? As much as I love how I wrote this, I feel too unsure about my writing to share it in full, so you will get carefully selected looks alkfe. (I’m also kind of stuck on some of the more emotional scenes and I may or may not have procrastinated by photoshopping a moodboard for it.)

Excerpt 1 (Julie POV): A look into where I’m going with this whole letters from Rose thing.

The key clicks into place, and with a turn, the latch falls open. She’s not sure what she wants to find in the box, and she’s too scared to think about it really. All she knows is that this was the sign from her mom that she was waiting for all week, and in true Rose fashion, her mom had managed to give it to her, even if at the last second. Her dad turns the box to face Julie, and gestures to her to open up the lid.

Tucked inside is a VHS tape, the words ‘For Julie, on your wedding day’ written in her mom’s cursive on the cover. Some loose glitter and confetti fall back into the box as she reaches in to pick up the tape and turn it over in her hands. There’s a little purple butterfly etched on the back, the same one that’s been drawn on all the other messages that her mom had left her. Her finger automatically finds its way, tracing the shape of the small doodle.

“Do you want me to leave you alone, mija?”

Excerpt 2 (Julie POV): This part has absolutely nothing to do with the main plot of the story, but it self-inserted itself into this fic after @tangledstarlight and I talked about You’re Still the One by Shania Twain being their first dance. This whole scene came to me at 4am one night and might be the most self-indulgent thing I’ve ever written.

They knew that when they had asked Reggie to be in charge of the first dance performance, that they (and Alex) weren’t allowed to veto any of his ideas. Luke had warned Julie that that would be a mistake, but the giddiness that radiated off of Reggie when she had told him he could have free reign was worth it. She just hadn’t thought that he would actually take it to heart and run with it.

Sure, they had chosen You’re Still the One by Shania Twain as their first dance song, and sure it was more or less a country song, but she didn’t really imagine that she’d be staring at her adoptive brother, Carlos and her Dad wearing cowboy hats and boots at her wedding. They had somehow managed to ditch their Flynn-approved suit jackets and were sporting a taupe-coloured suede-textured vest over their dress shirts. If she looked closely, she could see that they had somehow also found some gaudy looking bolo ties with a matching set of ornamental clasps to wear. When she envisioned her wedding, she really didn’t expect that her first (public) dance as a married couple would be a full-on Western themed occasion. The only exception was Alex, who had settled on his cajon in the back, still in his pink suit, eyes rolling when she met his gaze. But even she knew how there was no real annoyance in the blonde’s reaction or else he wouldn’t also be wearing one of the tacky ties around his neck as well.

“I’m gonna seriously kill him.” She hears Luke grumble under his breath, only low enough for her to hear. But she’s still too busy giggling to actually be mad, and she knows that Luke isn’t really going to kill Reggie. At least she doesn’t think so.

Excerpt 3 (Luke POV): Idk man. My mind went “What about Luke?” and I said “You’re right!! What about him?!?”

He doesn’t realize that he’s just been silently staring at the woman in front of him, until a gentle voice breaks him out of his thoughts. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Julie’s peering at him from under her eyelashes, a curious look on her face.

“You just-” he gives a little shake of his head, trying to come up with the right words. He wants to tell her she’s beautiful. Stunning. A wicked beauty. But she’s more than that - she’s almost angelic. “I can’t believe you’re my wife.”

“Luke, we’ve been legally married for like, a whole year.” Her lips are quirked up in a grin, amusement in her voice. “You’ve only just realized that now?”

“That’s different.”

“Yeah? Different how?”

This feels a little strange to post and a little like my inner self seeking validation but let’s not talk about that.

Kskssj anyways present me @ future me: finish one of these because writing has been really cathartic for you and you didn’t think it would bring you so much joy!!!