#And luckily we can do that while trying to save democracy

[thisismenow3]

Climate change: do we have to debate to do something about it?

I think the one thing that would make this video perfect is this fact; most adult Americans, way more than half, believe in climate change and don’t fall into any of the categories Hank listed. When you realize that, you realize the opportunity in this moment in history; unlike last decades, we don’t really need to waste much effort debating. We already have the majority. What we need to do is make our government more democratic. Once it actually is reformed enough to respond to the majority, we can actually robustly push through more policies. So for once we don’t have to split effort between very important priorities. Make our government more of a democracy (undo the backsliding of gerrymanders, unlawful high circuit and Supreme Court, electoral college, etc) and we can actually move at a speed that matches the problem. Still a tall order. But it’s the difference between catching up on a semester of studying in two weeks vs two nights when you realize this. Run for local office. Join the dem party and change it from the inside like right wingers did republicans from the 70s onward

[blazingparker]

What’s Up, Danger?

**so this is the fic that the lovely @snowstark allowed me to run by them to make sure it made sense to other people and not just my own brain. i really, really hope you enjoy it!

read it on ao3!

Summary: When Peter Parker gets bitten by a radioactive spider in his college’s lab, he doesn’t expect anything that comes next. Not becoming Spider-Man, not being hunted down by the Avengers, and definitely not a secret friendship with Tony Stark.

--

“So, let me get this straight. You want us to hunt down the one superhero in New York City that’s not mooching off my bank account, force him to tell us who he is, and then try and get him to join the team?” Tony could not believe what he was hearing. He sat back in his seat at the head of the table and stared straight ahead at Nick Fury.

“We don’t know that he’s a superhero,” Fury drawled, relaxing in his chair at the other end of the table. “He could be more evil than we know.”

“Yeah, I’m sure the guy plucking kittens out of trees and helping lost old Dominican ladies with directions is a supervillain in the making,” Tony deadpanned, clearly not impressed.

“Tony, orders are orders.” God, Steve was infuriating.

“Tell me, do you ever question anything or are you a walking lapdog?” Tony and Steve glared at each other until Natasha cleared her throat, breaking the tension in the room.

“Look, we’ll bring him in.” At Tony’s look of indignance, she raised a hand. “There’s no reason to go out there guns blazing, though. He hasn’t done anything to warrant that. If we show up looking ready to fight, he’ll avoid us. We will handle this professionally. With tact.” On the last word she stared pointedly at Tony, who pretended not to notice.

“So long as this ends with us knowing who’s behind the mask, I don’t care how you get it done,” Fury said as he stood. “I’ll let Pierce know you’re on board. That should get the prick off my back for a while.” With that, he left the room to the six Avengers sitting around the table.

“What is it with you and going along with whatever SHIELD wants?” Tony barked out, and Steve crossed his arms.

“SHIELD knows what’s best to keep this world safe. We should trust them to give us missions that are important and best left unquestioned.”

“Yeah, I don’t think telling us to beat up the guy who saved the owner of that deli that got blown up last week qualifies.” Tony huffed out an irritated sigh.

“Look, let’s just try and approach him one-on-one,” Natasha suggested. “That way no one feels threatened. Maybe one of us can form a relationship with the guy, get him to trust us.” When no one voiced an objection, she continued. “Tony, you can go first since you’re so protective of the guy.”

“Protective?! I am not-” Natasha left the room before Tony could finish.

---

The first thing Tony noticed when observing Spider-Man was that the guy had absolutely no self-preservation instincts. He literally flung himself off the top of a building, whooping and hollering all the way down until he almost made a little spider puddle on the ground before finally shooting out a web and swinging away. The guy ran into a burning building without a second thought and came back out with a kid in his arms.

That last incident was how Tony finally had the chance to speak with him. By tracking him with JARVIS, he saw that Spider-Man had stopped at a local playground. It looked like he was taking a breather, and was even more likely given the guy had just inhaled massive amounts of smoke. He suited up and flew over to the spot, clearly catching Spider-Man by surprise.

“Hey there, Spider-Man. Or should I call you Danger-Man, since you seem to have a knack for running right towards it?” Tony landed a respectable distance from where Spider-Man was perched on top of the jungle gym.

“What can I do for you?” Okay, so Spider-Man was young. His voice told Tony that much.

“Look, I’m not gonna lie to you. Nick Fury sent me. Us. The Avengers. But it’s just me for now.” Already, Spider-Man had visibly tensed. If Tony could see his eyes behind those pathetic goggles, he’d bet good money that they had narrowed considerably.

“What do you want.” Spider-Man said, his tone conveying it was a demand that Tony tell him now, not a question anymore.

“We want to know who you are. What makes you tick. What made you put on that god awful excuse for a suit and run into a burning building today.”

“Not all of us are billionaires, Stark. Some of us have to work with what we’ve got, and I haven’t really got much.” Tony’s mouth quirked up in a half-smile at that and he huffed out a laugh. Spider-Man’s quips were infamous, and now he could see why. The guy was good.

“Look,” Tony allowed his faceplate to flip up. Maybe that would help relax the agitated vigilante in front of him. Being able to look at his eyes had to be better than a titanium-alloy mask. “For the record, I was against this plan. I told Mr. Eyepatch up there that we should leave you alone.”

“Then why aren’t you?” Spider-Man sounded a little surprised at that admission.

“I got outvoted. The Avengers are a democracy, apparently. Cap’s a real bitch about it. I preferred the authoritarian model.” Tony sniffed, glancing away before looking back at Spider-Man when he chuckled quietly.

“Good to know you really are the big happy family that they show on the news,” Spider-Man shot back. Tony couldn’t help a real grin from forming that time.

“Oh yeah, big time. Ever seen Annie? It’s like that. Except Annie is actually the entire team and I’m Daddy Warbucks for all of them.” After a moment of shared laughter, things grew quiet again. Tony took a step forward, counting it as a win when Spider-Man didn’t scramble to get away.

“I’ll leave you alone from now on, since that’s clearly what you want. On one condition.”

“What’s that?” Spider-Man sounded wary but intrigued.

“Gimme your number.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Just because I’m gonna leave you alone doesn’t mean the others will. If they pull some stupid shit while trying to convince you to tell them who you are, I wanna know. Give me your number.”

“How would I call you if you have my number?”

“I’ll call you first.” Tony was surprised to find he actually truly did mean it. Spider-Man just stared at him for a second before rattling off a phone number and disappearing into the night.

This definitely wasn’t ideal. Tony knew that. But at least this way he had a way of knowing if the team went too far in their attempts to complete the mission.

Grinning, Tony plugged the number into his phone before hesitating over the space left for the contact’s name. He didn’t know Spider-Man’s identity, and definitely couldn’t plug in Spider-Man in case anyone ever saw. Remembering his very first quip to the vigilante, his thumbs flew over the screen.

Danger.

---

Over the course of the next few weeks, Tony and Spider-Man struck up a routine. After each encounter with the Avengers, Spider-Man would give him a call and let him know how it went down. Luckily, things hadn’t gotten violent yet.

Tony was also finding himself...attached. To this masked vigilante from Queens. Something that made absolutely no sense and was probably going to end in disaster for them both. This guy clearly wanted nothing to do with the Avengers - no matter how friendly the two of them had become.

A ringtone disrupted Tony from his thoughts and he grabbed his phone, smiling a little when he read the screen.

Incoming call from: Danger

“What’s up, Danger?” Tony asked as he answered, pushing back from the lab table he was stationed at and walking to the window.

“Are you ever not going to answer the phone that way?” An exasperated voice came from the other end of the line. Tony grinned. He’d taken to always answering with the same “what’s up, danger?” First, it had been because he didn’t want anyone to walk in and hear him greeting Spider-Man. But slowly, it was becoming an inside joke with the two of them.

“Not a chance. But c’mon, gimme the rundown,” Tony said, gazing out over the New York City skyline as though he might see Spider-Man if he looked hard enough.

“Cap and Widow came this time. Gave me the same rundown, telling me they were running out of options and didn’t want to have to resort to other measures,” Spider-Man informed him. His voice dipped lower on the last few words in an imitation of Steve’s voice. Tony’s blood ran cold at that, and he quickly sat down on the nearest chair.

Why was he so afraid for Spider-Man all of a sudden? They were just pals. The guy was a vigilante that clearly had enhanced strength and other powers and could take care of himself.

“What the hell does that mean?” Tony asked, clenching his jaw.

“I didn’t exactly stick around to find out,” Spider-Man said with a laugh. “You could ask him though.”

“And risk him finding out exactly how I knew of this threat? Not a chance. Then things would just get worse,” Tony explained with a sigh.

“You really don’t need to be so worried. I can take care of myself.”

“I’m not worried.” The words came out just a little bit too fast, and Spider-Man chuckled.

“Sure, Tones.” The nickname sent..something through Tony. Not affection. It was not affection. Nothing like that. “Anyway, I gotta hang up. Got readings to get done.”

“So you’re in college!” Tony cried triumphantly, waving a hand in the air to try and tell JARVIS to add that to the file he had on Spider-Man. When there was silence on the other end of the line, he sobered up a bit. “I’m not gonna look into it. Promise.”

Another beat of silence.

“Alright. Talk to you later, Tony.”

---

The next time Tony’s phone rang, he was eating dinner with Natasha and Rhodey after being dragged out of his lab. When he saw Danger flash across the screen, he quickly excused himself and walked out of hearing range.

“What’s up, Danger?”

“Would you tell Hawkeye over there to quit it with the arrow-fest?” Tony’s eyebrows just about disappeared into his hairline and he clutched the phone a little tighter. He could hear Spider-Man’s breath coming fast, like he’d just finished swinging. He probably had.

“The what?” He asked, voice edging on a growl.

“He and Thor showed up, tried to ask me again. When I made it clear I wasn’t interested in joining the Brady Bunch and tried to leave, he took a shot at me. Without my danger sense, I definitely would’ve been hit.” Another interesting fact about Spider-Man, but Tony couldn’t pay attention to that now.

“He-fuck, I’m so sorry. That was never-I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” Tony ran a hand through his hair exasperatedly.

“It’s fine, Tony. You didn’t take the shot at me,” Spider-Man insisted. “I can handle a few pissed-off Avengers. Really.” After a moment of Tony trying to come up with a response, the vigilante spoke again with a softer voice. “Tony, I’m okay. It’s not your fault. I’m not hurt, I’m safe at home.”

Somehow, the knot that had been growing in Tony’s chest eased at hearing Spider-Man was safe at home. He nodded before realizing he was on the phone and that response wouldn’t really work. “Alright, as long as you’re safe.” Where the hell did that come from? “I-I hate to cut this short but I walked out on Rhodey and Nat and-”

“-and if you’re gone too long, the jig is up. No worries, I get it. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Tony couldn’t stop a smile at the understanding in the man’s voice.

“Talk tomorrow.”

---

After that phone call, Spider-Man’s run-ins with the Avengers got increasingly volatile. While Clint had admitted to losing his cool when he shot the arrow and acknowledged it had been a mistake, they’d lost whatever trust they’d built up with Spider-Man.

Well, the others had. Not Tony.

Each encounter had more biting remarks than the last, and their duration was getting shorter and shorter. The Avengers had even tried catching up to him multiple times in one night. All that resulted in was an exhausted, irritated Spider-Man - Tony could hear it in his voice when they spoke on the phone.

Tony was working on a new suit in the lab when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Glancing at his watch, he realized it was nearly two in the morning. His crooked heart started beating a little faster at that - only one person would call him so late.

“What’s up, Danger?” Tony asked cheerfully as he picked up the phone. The cheer dissipated immediately when he didn’t get a response. All he could hear was labored breathing and a groan of pain. “Hey. Talk to me. What’s going on?”

“Hey, Tony,” Spider-Man answered, words slurring together. Tony immediately moved to his closest functional suit, letting JARVIS transfer the call over as he got into it.

“What happened?” Tony tried his best to keep the panic from edging into his voice. The faceplate closed and he could see JARVIS running a tracking program, trying to find out where Spider-Man had last been seen.

“No big deal. ‘S just a guy. He had a big knife. Huge. ‘S not safe for the neighborhood,” Spider-Man answered. Tony felt a chill run through him - Spider-Man had been stabbed ? His danger sense never allowed anyone to land a blow.

“Apparently not so safe for neighborhood Spider-Men either,” he quipped with a shaky voice. “Are you doing okay? Have something to stop the bleeding?”

“Does pavement count?” Even in an injured state, the guy was still churning out one-liners like it was nothing.

“I have located Spider-Man, sir,” JARVIS piped up. “Plotting the fastest course.” Tony whirled around, blasting the nearest window and watching it shatter before shooting out of it at top speed.

“Why didn’t you dodge it?” Tony asked, desperate to keep Spider-Man talking to him until he could get there.

“Danger sense isn’t workin’.” Spider-Man’s voice was significantly quieter at that, like he was ashamed.

“Faster, JARVIS! Why not?” Tony barked the command at his AI but softened his voice for the injured vigilante.

“Tired.” The one-word answer was enough. Even if the Avengers hadn’t struck Spider-Man directly since the incident with Clint, they’d caused this. Their persistence had worn down a decent man to the point where he couldn’t defend himself against the common criminals of Queens. That wasn’t what they were supposed to be about, and Tony felt disgusted just thinking about it.

Luckily, he didn’t have to for much longer. The suit began to descend towards a rooftop in a sketchier area of Queens, and Tony spotted the red and blue jumpsuit the guy insisted on wearing. The faceplate flipped up as he landed and knelt next to the form lying on the ground.

“What’s up, Danger?” Tony asked, trying to tease as he gently pushed away the blood-soaked fabric to get a look at the wound.

“Oh my god, this again? Just leave me to die.” Spider-Man groaned, but didn’t push Tony away. The older man laughed, shaking his head. He then pointed his index and middle fingers at the wound, allowing a healing gel to spray out of the suit and onto the injury. It was a new creation of Tony’s - it would stop the bleeding and keep the wound stable until they reached a medbay and could get real medical attention.

“There we go, Spider-Man. We do need to get you properly fixed up, though. This is a temporary solution.” Tony said, leaning over the man still lying there limply. Slowly, Spider-Man brought a hand up to his head. Tony thought he was feeling for blood, and watched in shock as the hand gripped the hood of his mask and tugged it off.

Of course he’s hot, was the first thing that went through Tony’s mind. Floppy brown hair, soft pink lips, and those big eyes that reminded him of a certain deer from an animated Disney movie. Spider-Man shifted slightly, trying to sit up with a quiet groan, and Tony rushed to support him and help hold him up. Spider-Man looked up at him and gave him a crooked grin.

“It’s Peter,” he said. His name. Tony smiled brightly in return.

“What’s up, Peter?”

[yakocchi]

Becoming a Family With Him, Part 3 // Shuichi, Hikaru, Rhion, Luke, Eisuke

so this came out, as further celebration for the anni. VERY GOOD, much more appreciated than the prior story set lol that one was kind of boring but i get it

they made the kids for all the... kid-less ones, and the eisuke one that used to be VIP-exclusive is now here for everyone to buy (rip those ppl who gacha for it)

my rambling behind the cut (spoilers!!)

shuichi // as ud expect, shuichi has a literal hime ass looking girl (kikyo) for a daughter. she’s only 6, but is pretty calm and ladylike. She even calls her parents with –sama so... ok luckily shuichi does not strip down all the way in the presence of her daughter and only takes off his suit coat. thanks dad

anyway since shuichi has a break coming up, he wants to have a family trip how nice. but then the dang girl wants to go over to see eisuke WHAT when soryu exists and lives a block away? unrelatable, im closing the app anyway eisuke is her first love, which wtf he’s like 20 yrs older than u. even worse, mc says she’s been in love since she was like 3.

shuichi is reconsidering the benefits of democracy in his mind but eventually relents. but then they’re still following the fucc-days rule they set years ago. well, as he says in the story, RULES ARE RULES

blah blah i don’t want to go over everything bc then it’ll be boring reading the story when it comes out in engl right? also im tired bc it’s 1 am and i just want to play toontown in bed but nothing really bad happens. they are a v cute family bc shuichi is a pleasant and mature dad. kikyo and mc even do a little surprise for him at the end and it is very sweet. i feel like out of all the families, this is the most ideal

mad hatter // so they have twin sons named Rui and Kai. Rui is the childlike one that resembles Rhion in personality, Kai is the more mature one that resembles Al. man i forget that boy’s name but u get me i know they only can use stock bgs but it’s killing me that these dang kids get to sleep in what looks like separate king sized beds.

even though rhion is now a father of two, he still acts like... 10. i mean he still horni but it makes me feel weird

later it’s revealed that Ota teaches them both as an art tutor bc they both showed an interest in art. this is cute bc ota is bad with kids in this universe LOL

the ending on this one was weird cuz the kids didn’t show up in the entirety of the last ep bc it was about WORK. so uh... interesting

hikaru // so their son is named akari. haha get it because it means light. like how hikaru also means light. can mc name her kids unrelated to their father or is that against the Geneva convention

this kid actually acts like an actual little boy. like what hikaru would’ve probably turned into if not for the whole sad backstory. the story starts with akari just bringing a dog randomly home one day. he actually saved the dog (it is very cute bc he did not want the dog to cry), and then after a talk they decide to keep the dog as long as akari knows the responsibility of taking care of an animal.

so next day, the bidders come over to their house and everyone’s like woaw a dog. lol they come into their house as guests and eisuke and mamo still demand for beverages, they all suck

akari names the dog... “Light” (Raito) and i want out of this nightmare. Naturally bc Light is an abandoned dog it’s still kind of bad with interacting with things. But then Light suddenly be giving the ( ╹ਊ╹) to soryu bc remember, animals love him. everyone clowns on soryu for being an unintentional dog whisperer and then akari is like “soryu san pls make me ur apprentice” and he gives some advice like approaching it slowly, and talking to it from the front instead of back.

blah blah there’s a situation where Light goes YEET after a Doberman gets all angry and then hides bc then another dog is scaring it. hikaru swoops in to the save the day as the Real Dog Whisperer. ok it’s cute when hikaru actually gets to look cool  for once LOL

luke // luke is cute on the bc “pre-story” scene he’s actually pretty open to the idea of having kids; he actually goes “well imo we should think abt it pretty soon, but i wanted to hear ur opinion on it” but then he gets horni. and then he’s like “our kids are going to have your collarbones. awesomeee im looking forward to that” ....ok

ok cut to the actual story and they’re in Japan. Luke’s kid looks... strange versus the others. why are his eyes so big? omg voltage his eyes arent going to be saucers just cuz he half white also the kid’s name is Yuri (Or Urey). They couldn’t think of any other Brit-styled names? Like Harry? Henry? William? Wilfred? hey stan be my princess btw he’s pretty cute, though he gives serious “timid kid that gets bullied in the children’s movie” vibes. He calls Luke “daddy” and mc “mammy/mommy”.

so luke talks about his relationship w/ soryu and eisuke and then yuri is like “i want friends like that” wow cute but also find less ethically-complicated friends

so luke lets yuri meet a young patient of his (haru) so they can be friends. they get along so it’s good. haru gets in critical condition later so luke zooms outta there to do the operation.

LOL but at the end yuri is like, “i want to make more friends. (...) can i go to the bidder’s room from now on?” this boy works fast

And then he’s like “Eisuke-san... please be my friend.” HIS POWER. even eisuke was like :O so then eisuke orders a whole bunch of food and books up to the penthouse. But then yuri’s like “...i like eisuke’s eyes” and everyone’s like oh man that’s gonna be his fetish

Baba: why have u started to have an interest in eyes Yuri: I read it from one of daddy’s medical books Hikaru: wtf u can read that at 4??? (...) Soryu: wat Yuri: um... i want soryu to be my friend too Yuri: bc soryu’s eyes are also powerfully cool...

eisuke // ok this gets an extended ramble bc the more annoying the story the longer i must complain

so you might be thinking, “oh so this is gonna be a flashback in some in media res styled story with your 2 kids, u know in the style of the others” and well, no you just go straight to white screen into the flashback, back when eito was smaller and thus a little more cute. well it’s not really false advertising bc they did say “reminisce” in the description. but i wanted to see eito be a good big brother for a moment! or... less good? man i wanted to see kaito go waaaah like a baby idk i wanted to see him exist

so back to the story they cut to small eito. even as a smaller punk he does fight with his dad a little, just w/ a more narrow vocabulary to work with. tho at this point he’s still pretty sweet so clearly eisuke clowning him day and night was a negative effect on his development. (doesn’t treat his child like a child) (child grows up to a punk that doesn’t respect him) (surprised pikachu) being the son of a billionaire means that this child has to go study at a very young age and listen to MOZART. no child of eisuke ichinomiya will be listening to degenerate bops like lee taemin’s criminal next day they all go to the very fancy school that eito will be attending. eisuke does a speech, but then eito is all like “why is papa over there all the time” in reference to how all the other parents in attendance are having fun with their children, but eisuke is busy talking to other people for business and connections etc. etc. mc kind of has a hard time trying to explain it to eito bc... it’s honestly poor parenting... eiji shows up after arriving late, and he’s like “gramps is gonna be with ya today! instead of papa” which is cute but then she’s like psst thanks for coming and im like oh... so grandpa just didn’t randomly come to the open house for fun he’s just gonna be surrogate dad while real dad is busy... aw... and then at the end eito’s like FUC THIS KINDERGARTEN. eisuke is like “(smh) don’t yell in public. (despite everything) you are still the eldest son of the Ichinomiya family”

and so afterwards it’s clear that eito does not want anything to do with this school. he just sits in the classroom until mc is there to pick him up instead of playing in the courtyard or w/e, wanting nothing to do with the other kids.

so later there’s a hiking trip for the students and both of their parents, and mc asks eisuke if he’ll be available for it. eisuke is like, “i have a business trip that day, so I’ll have to adjust my schedule” and he’s been very busy in the opening of a new business or w/e. mc tells him to not do so much for something like that and that it’s ok if she goes alone with eito on the trip.

it’s the day of the trip, and mc goes alone with eito. she notes that a lot of dads did indeed come along for the trip. she apologizes to eito and says that she did talk to eisuke about the trip before, but he’s simply busy for this day. and im like... but girl, you were the one who told him not to change his schedule for the trip. yes a trip may seem less important than business ventures, but don’t make it sound like you weren’t the one who stopped him. lol. idk why im pressed abt this single line of dialogue bc later she does realize she fucced up there well eito is just like w/e about it and has pretty much accepted that sort of thing

anyway eito goes missing later and one of the kids said that he told eito that his dad (eisuke) didn’t come bc his dad thinks that his work is more important than his son. so eito got mad and ran off somewhere

and then mc finally gets the lightbulb moment that eito... wants to see his dad!! he ran off to go try to see him somehow??? !! wow so sweet

it’s raining like a mf but then in her search for eito eisuke randomly pops out of nowhere. He’s like “ho i did not remember saying that i wasn’t coming” and she’s like “im sorrryyy” and both me and him are like “just find the dang kid”

ok yea they find eito, he starts being a good student, and u start to see where he starts being antagonistic towards his dad LOL etc. etc. lol this story annoyed me so i don’t feel like doing the rest of the play by play orz

anyway thanks for reading my garbage LOL

[btssavedmylifeblr]

I forgot to send on my voting story. Ok so my brother and I both got mail in ballots, and let me tell you how we both forgot to mail it in so we just thought to bring them to our voting location. The lady there kinda yelled at us? She was confused and didn't know how to go about it. And honestly I just took it because we were the idiots who didn't mail in our ballots. We had to rip them up and they just us new ones to fill out in person and submit. Not exciting, but a story for void snippet. 👀

Anonymous said: Hi!! I'm so excited for void! I voted today around 30 minutes before the polls closed in my neighborhood because I had to wait for my dad and brother to get home from work since they wanted to go all together hehe. It was a pretty fast process! We just pressed buttons on screens (compared to last election where we had to bubble in everything by hand) plus, I got to keep the stylus that they gave us and it works on phones too! 🥰🥰 Thank you! I love your writing so much 💜💜💜

Anonymous said: I did mine through mail me and my husband did and we went to the post office a little while back and then he took us on a nice little date afterward and we got ice cream! Also I love void💖 keep up the good work

Anonymous said: VOTES FOR VOID??? I love democracy and I love VOID! So since May I've (temporarily) moved back home from New York to Indiana RE: covid; I've voted absentee for the both the primaries and presidential election (I'm still in IN rn...blah). I voted early and mailed in my ballot for the presidential election (about 3 weeks ago). Made sure my family was voting (brother mailed it in, mom dropped off a ballot, and dad did early voting) and encourage them to put up a Biden sign in our yard <3

Anonymous said: HI BEE! I ALSO VOTED TODAY! IM 21 SO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME VOTING FOR THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION (my 18th bday didnt make the cutoff since im a december bday) im so happy to have done my part! I made sure to study up on the judges and policies and everything! Luckily the polling place didn't have a line so i was able to get in, get my ballot, and fill it in right away! I even dragged my mom and cousin to come with me. I made a joke on snapchat to encourage my friends to vote too. It was a pic of my "i voted" sticker with a caption saying "omg youre so sexy when you vote aHaha" -🦙

Anonymous said: this is my first time doing this so, so i hope i’m sending this correctly! i voted early in late september by mail! i live in a swing state, so it’s really important for me to vote and not waste time!! bc of my age, this is my first time voting so i’m really nervous 😅

Anonymous said: I voted by email! I'm overseas so I wasn't sure if my ballot would actually make it through in time, so I decided to go electronically. Had to sign a waiver saying I understand that my vote won't be anonymous but I haven't been given a reason to suspect voter suppression/fraud in my state, so I'm happy I think...!

Anonymous said: hi, i voted early on oct 24th. my absentee ballot didn't come in, so i had to travel back home to vote (~3 hour drive). when we got there, there was a ton of people outside the polling place, but no lines, so i was in and out pretty quick. it was my first time voting, so i had all the candidates i was voting for written down on a tiny receipt so i wouldn't forget 😅. my mom was with me, so she voted too. took a pic with my sticker (mask on for extra covid-ness) and went home. drove back the next afternoon!

whippedforkook said: Hi Bee. 💕 I voted in early October - nearly a month ago! 😱 It’s been really weird with all the lead up to the election because it felt like it should have been done once I cast my ballot! A lot of my friends have volunteered to get out the vote: writing postcards to voters, texting, phone banking, working the polls, curing ballots. I didn’t volunteer at all this year, but I hope that all of my friends’ hard work and everyone else’s is enough. I’m also hoping and praying that I will be in a better place mentally for 2022 so that I too can volunteer. Our work starts with 2020 not ends. 💕 Wishing you well. 💕

begineuphoria said: I went and voted last Friday as it was our last early voting day. No way was I going to wait until today with the crowds of people in my area that still act as if masks are somehow infringing on their rights. 🙄 It was a rather normal experience for the most part. Other than having to use a coffee stir stick to press the buttons on the machine to vote. In and out within five minutes.

Anonymous said: I voted down the street at this pretty park this morning. I got up at 5:30 and it was freezing. Luckily I wore like 30 layers and stood outside for 2 hours. Some nasty orange man supporters were rude but everyone else was pretty nice. A really cute older couple was playing soccer with pine cones and kicked it towards me to play too. Not the worst time tbh.

Anonymous said: Did mail-in voting in California! Extremely exhausting and took forever to research all the propositions - they are notoriously tricky in hiding their flaws and one side tends to outrageously outspend the other. But in the end I felt really good about my research and decisions! No need for you to post a snippet for this story - would like to save that to read sometime in the future ;) Thank you so much for doing this!

joonsgotthejuice said: Votes for void??? I am here! I went last Thursday and it was chaotic bc I kept going past the poll place but the line was soooo long so my mom called me and woke me up like "its pouring rain and the line is super short get up I'm gonna pick you up" so thats the story of how I got dressed in 5 minutes and dragged my ass to vote in the rain <3

Anonymous said: i voted early on thursday it was cold and rainy but i went in the late afternoon and thankfully the only waiting i did was a few minutes for an elevator i got very lucky and while waiting for the results is awful the relief that came from voting in general was just great

Anonymous said: Wheeew the polls just closed and I finally got to cast my ballot yayyy ( I was the one working the polls from earlier) it’s been a really really long day and we actually had surprisingly good turnout. I saw a woman try to vote for someone else who claimed to be “helping” and I saw a woman who I’m pretty sure was on some typa something 👀 Overall though I really I’m really thankful for people like you who encouraged people to get out and vote. I hope the odds are in our favor❤️🤞🏼

chelsea-chee said: Hello Bee! Today surprisingly my elderly father wanted to vote so I brought him out with me. He only cared about voting for Biden, which meant I got to help decide who he should vote for with the rest of the candidates and amendments! Say hello to baby bee for me as well! 💖

Anonymous said: Okay I gonna got a chance to vote today and the process wasn’t that bad actually. I went in just now and it wasn’t that busy( thankfully) so no lines. I’m from Texas and it’s gonna be almost impossible to turn this state blue, but every vote counts! I love that you are getting people to vote and also sharing your experiences as well!

owl-orgy said: Dropped off my mail in ballot at a polling location! I originally wanted to vote early in person because I was worried my signature wouldn’t match closely enough but ended up just turning it in and double checked today to make it said “ballot accepted and counted”!

Anonymous said: I voted in person this afternoon, better late than never I guess. I was gonna go last week but then I got cramps from hell. There was no one in line in front of me, I think my county early voted because it was packed everyday the last few weeks

Anonymous said: I voted early a couple weeks ago. Exciting thing though that did happen was I got both my parents to vote for their first time ever.

Anonymous said: I had a mail in vote. So, I filled it out and dropped it in at the ballot box at my library. (I also checked out books for the first time in years, so I had fun!)

bubblyjiminnie said: I literally just finished voting. Lucky for me, the line and wait wasn’t very long, and it was a nice enough day that the short amount of time I had to spend in line outside of the building wasn’t too bad. My social anxiety when it comes to stuff like this tends to be high but that’s what I get for waiting until Election Day instead of going the mail in route. This was only my second time voting, but I’m glad that I did 😊

Anonymous said: I turned my ballot in last week :) I’m not a big fan of crowds and I hate make spur of the moment choices but despite that the first time I was able to vote back in 08 my Mom pressured me into voting in person because “you’d have to experience it at least once in our life”. And ever since then I comfortably vote by mail. I take my time, do all of my research, listen to music, and best of all don’t have to deal with people.

Anonymous said: here in Washington state it’s super easy to vote. I dropped my ballot off in mid-October and it’s already been accounted for! Mail in voting and drop box voting is fantastic and provides equal opportunity and access. Sad to see some people in red states misinforming Americans about it! We also have a referendum for implementing mandatory sex ed, including teaching respect, empathy and consent as part of the curriculum so I was happy to vote yes on that too!

unionrox006 said: I voted about 2 weeks ago by doing a mail in ballot. The other eligible to vote members of my household did the same. We chose to vote by absentee ballot because both my mom and I have an autoimmune disorder, so we have to be careful going out in the pandemic. Tbh, the ballot layout was a bit confusing at first as was all the paperwork and required IDs and documents. But my dad explained it to me and we got them filled out and mailed off. Kinda mad I didn't get a sticker for it though

bluetostone said: Love this and so excited for the next chp of void! I early voted a few weeks ago and because I live in a pretty rural county I was in and out of my polling place in a few minutes. No sticker though 😢. I live in a swing state so it could go either way in terms of delegates. Just praying everyone is safe tonight as the results roll in...though, won't we not know for sure for a couple of days or weeks?

Anonymous said: My mom, sister, and I received our early voting ballots a while ago and I took the longest to fill mine out because it was making me anxious :,( but I did return it before it was due. I checked our ballot statuses and mine and my moms were accepted but my sister’s said they hadn’t received hers back. Then she got another ballot so she filled that one out too and I took it yesterday 👍👍 I think she got two because she changed her address late so they sent two?

vixsynsblog said: Non-interesting voter story: I'm paranoid and live in a highly divided area, so I filed mail-in ASAP, mailed it a few days after cause neighbors are nosy and don't understand boundaries. Was able to track my ballot through my credit company, which was nice. Only thing I was missing was my sticker. Never got one✊😔. So I had to improvise and write it in pen on my disposable mask. I'm working all this week so if riots break out from either side, I'll be at work. Prayers for the safety of others🙏

______

Waaah!!! Thank you all for voting!! You are all my heroes. I am so grateful and proud of you. I’m sorry I ran out of time to respond to you individually. I’m going to drop two big scenes from Chapter 7 in gratitude (one of which will be familiar to my patrons and one won’t). I’m hopeful I will have the whole next chapter out very soon. Love you all!

Void spoilers below the cut.

When you wake up in the morning, there are still no signed HR forms in your messages. Had you been a fool to think they were interested? How much time does it take to decide such a thing? Perhaps just by putting the idea out there explicitly, it had lost all of its taboo appeal. 

There is a calendar reminder waiting for you: Today is chili pepper pollinating day. At least this gives you an excuse to talk to Hoseok. 

You find the science officer in the lab as always, sitting with his knee up against his chest. Hoseok doesn’t look well. He’s got dark circles under his eyes.

“Hey, um…” You shuffle your feet. Want to fuck me? No wait…“You don’t look good. Were you here all night?” you ask.

He blinks at you, bleary-eyed. “Um, was I? Yeah.. I suppose. Lost track of time.” He rubs his eyes, before looking you up and down, then casting his gaze back to the floor. 

All you want to do is ask about the forms. Or the meeting. Or what he thinks of you now. But you don’t. “I need to pollinate the chili peppers today.” Usually Hoseok is the person who assists with that. “But I can get one of the other guys to do it if you need the sleep.”

“No!” Hoseok lurches forward, standing up a bit to rapidly and needing to put his hand back on the bench to steady himself. “I mean, I’m fine.” 

You should disgaree with him. He is exhausted. But you’d like more time to talk to him. 

Pollinating the chili peppers is both time-sensitive and time-consuming, hence why it took two of you to get the job done. There were no insects on your ship to do the job for you and if they didn’t get pollinated, they wouldn’t bear any fruit. Your chili peppers were your favorite crop. Not only a vital source of Vitamin C, but all your food benefitted from having a bit of spice added to it. 

You and Hoseok head for the greenhouse together. The intital set-up gives you something to talk about in the beginning. Hoseok gathers the pollen from one flower onto a paintbrush, then hands it over to you to paint onto the stigmas of each little flower on the next plant in the line.

Slowly the conversation dries up as you fall into a silent rhythm. Other than just enjoying the chili peppers, you must admit that this was one of your favorite tasks on the ship because of the high likelihood that the two of you would brush hands peridically. Always gave you butterflies. But today he seems extra intent on keeping his distance from you. Was he disgusted by you now? His hands are trembling.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

His hand twitches so hard that a little rain of yellow pollen cascades onto the floor. He curses in frustration before turning to face you. “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Um, yes, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“This, um, plan of yours…” he gestures to the vague tension in the air. “It doesn’t feel like you.”

“I’m trying to save the mission. That has always been my top priority.”

“Yeah, I’m still not clear on how this benefits the mission.”

“Yoongi said…” you start to say, but are cut off my Hoseok’s derisive snort. 

“Look, if you’re in love with Yoongi, just go date him, okay? Don’t feel obligated to include the rest of us out of pity.” 

You frown. “I’m not… I’m not in love with him. It’s just sex. Just biology.” 

“This isn’t you!” Hoseok argues back. “You hated the idea of anyone of us ever treating you that way. And now you just want all of us to… to… use you like that?”  He splutters out the end of the sentence.

“No one is using me! This is my plan! I’m in charge!”

He sighs. “Well, I can’t be a part of it. Excuse me.”

______

Taehyung finds you in the gym. It’s good to see him up and about, even if his arm is still in a sling. 

“Hey, so I need to talk to you about this, um, ape sex thing.” He fishes awkwardly into his pockets and pulls out his tablet.  Maybe Jimin was right. Is Taehyung going to be the first to take you up on your offer?

You pause your jog on the elliptical machine. You wish you weren’t so sweaty and gross for this conversation. Taehyung is such an intimidatingly attractive man with those strong eyebrows and that perfect skin. 

Taehyung opens up the tablet and flips to the form. It’s happening. He’s going to sign the form. Shit. Then what will you do? It’s one thing to say you want to have sex with your whole crew, but what if he’s hoping to go right now? You need a shower. 

Taehyung has really nice hands. Long strong fingers delicately navigating the touch screen. It seems totally improbable that a man this attractive would be into you, even if you were the only woman in the universe. It just adds to your suspicions that hormones are driving everyone crazy. Perhaps if you slept with him once, he’d lose all interest. 

He finds the form and then turns his gaze up to you, staring you down with those eyes. It’s a good thing that Taehyung rarely turns his full gaze on you, because it is almost too much to bear. Shit, is he just going to sign it? Is he waiting for you to give him some sort of signal?

“You can’t do this to Jimin,” he says.

“What?” Not what you were expecting. “Do what to Jimin?”

“This.” He gestures over the HR form. “Signing these forms with everyone. Having sex with everyone. You’re going to destroy Jimin.”

“Jimin’s the one who suggested this whole thing in the first place.” It’s a lie. You know its a lie. Or at least a gross exaggeration. But Jimin was the one who first brought up the idea of sharing. All for the benefit of the man in front of you now. 

“No way.” Taehyung scoffs, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. “No way was it Jimin’s idea that you sleep with the whole crew.” 

“Well…” You can’t bear his gaze anymore and look down at the floor. “He wanted me to sleep with you.”

That surprises Taehyung. He puts down the tablet. “What? Why would he want that?”

This is awkward. “He, um, thinks you’re in love with me.”

“What?” There is only surprise on Taehyung’s face. It’s actually a relief to see that Taehyung is just as shocked by that idea as you were. “Why does he think that?”

“I don’t know…” You feel kind of dumb now. Of course, Taehyung doesn’t feel that way about you. Look at him. “Cause you told him you were jealous. Cause you can’t stand to be in the same room as us…”

Taehyung bites his lip. “Oh, um, shit, sorry, that’s not what I meant.”

If Taehyung isn’t jealous of Jimin... 

“Taehyung…” He looks up, biting his lip. “What did you mean? Who are you jealous of?” 

Taehyung’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he reaches for his microphone and mutes it. Out of respect, you mute yours as well. He glances toward the camera in the corner of the room, then stands up and begins unzipping his jumpsuit. 

“Um…” You are distracted by the golden arms that peak from either side of the tank top as the zipper reaches his groin. “What are you doing?”

“Need something to block the camera.”

“We have towels,” you mutter.  But he’s already stripping out of his shirt. The musculature of his back ripples. He hangs the shirt off of the camera to block the rest of the room from view. 

“Yeah, but this way anyone watching will think we’re having sex.” His chest is just as attractive as his back and you flush at the sight of it. Mercifully, he zips back into his jumpsuit as he returns to his position in front of the exercise machine. 

“You want them to think we’re having sex?”

“Don’t you? It plays right into your whole save the mission with bonobo sex plan.”

“I suppose.” Though the plan was also supposed to be that there would be no more secrets between the crew. “What plan of yours does it play into?”

“The one where Jimin doesn’t realize I’m in love with him.”

“You’ve never tried to tell him?”

Taehyung laughs wryly and shakes his head. “How would that conversation go? Hey man, I know we’ve known each other for years and I’ve already seen you naked and that you just think of me as a friend, but I’m in love with you. I know that’s awkward but now you have to spend the next twelve years with me, knowing that I’m attracted to you when you don’t feel the same way.” Taehyung sighs. “Doesn’t sound like a good plan to me. If he doesn’t feel the same way, I’ve just ruined the friendship for nothing and then I don’t even have that.”

“Yeah… I get that.”  There’s something touching about realizing that Taehyung has been fighting the same battle as you for the last two years. 

“I couldn’t tell anyone before launch because what if they wouldn’t let me go then? You know?”

“Yeah, the director wasn’t big on sending anyone who might ‘complicate’ the mission.” The two of you share a sad knowing smile. 

“Yeah… And I thought it would be fine, you know? I like women too. I’d just date women until launch and no one would know. I wasn’t planning on falling in love with my roommate.”

“I don’t think any of us really knew what this would be like.”

“I knew it was going to be a problem. I should have pulled out…” 

Your mind flashes back to that moment of doubt when Hoseok talked you into still coming on the mission.

“But I couldn’t just let him go off into space without me. Even if he’d never feel the same way, at least he’d still be in my life.”

The emotion in Taehyung’s words makes your eyes begin to mist. “You really do love him.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung sighs again. “But he’s in love with you.”

“Well, he thinks he is.”

“What does that mean?”

“He only feels like that about me cause he thinks I’m the only option.”  You wonder if maybe he would feel differently if he knew about Taehyung’s feelings. 

Taehyung frowns and shakes his head. “You don’t give him enough credit.”

“Oh come on, you know him. How many women did he date while we were in training?”

“A few…” 

“And how many of them was he in love with before he found the next one?”  

Taehyung bites his lip. He can’t really argue with that. “So why are you with him then, if you don’t think it’s real?”

You shrug, rubbing your arm. “He wants me. It’s nice to feel wanted, I guess.”

“You know you could have that with any man on this ship right?”

You scoff. “They’re all suffering the same delusion. It’s only-available-vagina syndrome. I just want us all to fuck and get it out in the open. Maybe if we could get it out of our system, they would see I’m nothing special. And then we can get back to the mission.”

Taehyung eyes you up and down. “You don’t give yourself enough credit either.”

You shrug. “You wait and see. Jimin will get bored of me. They all will.”

The two of you both slump backwards in your seats, mulling over your shared woes.  Taehyung bends down and picks up the tablet again. “So what should I do with this?”

“Obivously, you don’t have to sign it. I should have realized that not everyone would be interested.”

“Jimin thinks I’m in love with you?”

“Yeah…”

“Is it okay if we let him think that for now? At least until I figure out how to tell him the truth?”

“Okay.”

Taehyung smiles and signs the bottom of the form, then sends it to you. Your phone lights up with a message. “Thank you,” he murmurs before he leaves. 

[tisthepoetl]

There are many stressors in a modern day lifestyle.

Usually these include the looming threat of death, the monotony of working for currency that stopped being useful years ago and deer.

There are so, so many stressed people. Made worse by the apocalypse that didn’t happen, the riots that most definitely happened, and the negotiations that have been “in progress” for the last few years.

The amount of rapid budget changes are stressing out some people. The amount of rapid cultural exchange is stressing people out. If you work in any field, any field at all, you are likely to be stressed as all hell.

Eventually, they have to pick someone on the ship to be shown as an expert negotiator. No one is prepared for this. Most of them are middle men, most of them don’t have a clue what they’re supposed to be doing, and all of them are panicking.

So they drew straws. The most important decision of all time is made by dumb luck, and honestly that’s a pretty good metaphor for everything happening right now.

Name someone on their haphazard crew and they will have a conflict of interest. Name one member and they will be grossly under qualified.

America has four ambassadors out of the eight chosen. Not because they’re the most presentable, or the most qualified, or the best possible choice, but because they overpaid for a privilege nobody wanted.

If all of this goes to hell they're getting the blame. And if they get the blame the only plan is to point at whoever was voluntold to be leader and pray for leniency.

Every part of this is a desperate attempt to stall before the actual powers back home have found a way to bullshit having any actual control of things.

It shows.

It really, really shows.

So, who was the unlucky scapegoat for the possible downfall of all of humanity?

If you guessed Samantha who wasn’t supposed to even be on this ship, you would be correct!!

Seriously, she was the back up for someone who was almost conceivably qualified. Sort of, if you squinted and ignored the fact they were only there via nepotism, only to be pulled out once everyone realized they were sacrificial lambs.

And then the replacement was also saved from this bullshit via bribery and blackmail and probably some other third sketchy thing she doesn’t know about.

So, here she is, Samantha who had planned on changing her name before realizing she wasn’t getting out of this. Samantha, the replacement for the replacement who was chosen by a lottery held only for the illusion of equal opportunity.

There are literally billions and billions of people whose lives will be affected by whatever she ends up doing. Countless children, parents, lovers and friends and siblings. All of whom would either die or live by whatever ends up happening.

Luckily, she has one coping mechanism which never fails: Repression!!

So she thinks about literally anything else. Thinks about her favorite song as the ship nears the giant towering shape of the Galactic Senate’s meeting place. Thinks about fluffy dogs as she is led by the hand through walls and portraits and treasures with descriptions she can’t read because there are no translators yet.

Thinks about her mother, thinks about her sibling, thinks about the fact everyone could literally die and it would be her fault, and wow she’s already here.

The meeting place has a mouthful name that she could only pronounce if she managed to dislocate her jaw, grow a new set of teeth, and get a proboscis. Everyone calls it the Meeting Place, because again, there are no working translators, they all have to rely on vague equivalents.

The Meeting Place is a moon sized ship, so incomprehensibly large that any species will be able to fit. It has a dock, and a large empty room with nothing in it except for alien leaders who could slaughter them all at a whim.

There are no chairs. The temperature is set to “Mildly unpleasant but liveable.” Unity and democracy means that everyone is equally uncomfortable, because this exact temperature is workable for most species.

Samantha feels a chill down her spine, both from the cold and the fact that so many of them are glaring at her. She is in the center, her crew is placed too far away to help her, and their borrowed ship is miles away from where they are now.

She prays to the gods she doesn’t believe in and hopes she can stall well enough for the clusterfuck back home to get their shit together.

“H…” she starts eloquently. She tries to refind where the rest of humanity’s first impression was stationed, but her view is blocked by the hundreds of giant aliens. “He..llo?” she finishes.

There’s a click, and she flinches back because what if that’s a weapon. A small cube clatters to the ground in front of her, before popping up and showing a hologram.

She would be visibly impressed, in awe, if it weren’t for the fact she’s half sure these diplomats could take any reaction as an insult.

She wouldn’t be able to explain herself either, it’s too early for any sort of translator to have been made, it’s too early for anything about human body language to be common knowledge.

The crowd surrounding her rustles, fins are raised and noises are made and colors are changed. It means something, probably, but she can’t tell what.

The hologram cube makes a loud, ear splitting sound, like a mix between a flatlining heart in a movie and a fire alarm going off. It snaps her out of her spiraling.

There are two large lines pointing at a screen that is pulsing with the most neon red she’s ever had the unfortunate luck of seeing. She stares at it, and realizes it’s a quiz.

Well, more like a shitty rushed powerpoint. Like something you would make in under an hour for the fun of it.

It says, “What Human Want [Ask],” and she has the sneaking suspicion that whoever made this wasn’t trying very hard. Underneath are barely recognizable butcherings of numbers, listing answers from one to three.

“1. Want hurt. Want no us. Lone want.”

“1nd. Want love. Want share. Want us help.”

“1rd. Want no meet us. Want late meet. Want lone.”

All of it is….confusing to say the least. At this point she doesn’t even know if this is a joke or not.

Then again this wasn’t supposed to be her job, she doesn’t understand them either, and maybe they were genuinely trying here. But then again there are so many of them, they probably have enough resources to make at least a dozen Earths and this meeting took multiple years to take place.

The red that flashed before flashes again, than flashes a disturbingly real fingerprint on top of the answers.

She presses the second one, and wills herself to not regret it immediately. Love, sharing, help, all of that sounds good.

Except what if the help is from humanity? What if their definition of help, share, love is killing everyone ever living and she just doomed it all?? What if it means—

“[Greeting] [Greeting Happy] [Greeting Love] [Greeting Happy Angry Bored] [Greeting (Deragotory)]” a voice drones through a translation of the crowd. Samantha wonders when this will be over, and if she’s going to die of anxiety before that happens.

“[Greeting Small Childish] [Greeting Sad Fear] [Greeting (Endeared)] [Greeting Pain Hurt] [Greeting Love Fear Pain]” it doesn’t stop, running through every risen scale and moving limb to translate some vague approximation.

The aliens have translators. The translators are awful. This is taking so much time, which is good for the mission of stalling and bad for Samantha’s sanity.

“[Species Name (Derogatory)] [Mother (Derogatory)] [Criminal (Deragot—]“ the whole crowd is making noise, some like barks and some like tweets and some like a monster out of hell.

And all of them seem to be arguing? Or insulting each other? Either way it continues on for a long stretch of time with nothing but noisy aliens and a robotic voice reciting nonsense that always ends in “(Derogatory.)”

“[Wrong: Too long.] [Wrong: Too fast.] [Wrong: No word Human.]” The sounds are longer, most of the crowd making them rising and puffing out to be bigger. “[Plea Slow.] [No Word for Our Word.] [New Local Child Pet Ally speak.] [No word for Our Word.]”

Samantha realizes once again, that she should’ve left when she had the chance. And never entered that stupid lottery.

“[I hate every single one of you.] [Stop! The Ally-New-Child-Local may hear.] [You are all stupid [Species Name]]” the noises transition into understandable sentences. “[The small Diplomat-Traveler will be confused. Stop.] [They are doing fine. They will not understand our words.] [When is that useless translator going to update, Myy-Rrr-Pl?]”

Humanity as a whole can only take so much. One human as a whole can only take so much. She is halfway to a mental breakdown, fully confused and honestly she just wants to go home. This is the kind of wonder she would love if she didn’t have to personally deal with the consequences.

So she goes the way of most unqualified, underpaid workers, and gives up. She isn’t going to scream or sabotage anything, but her ability to feel was already warring with the tempting concept of not giving a fuck.

She speaks, for the second time. “I can hear you. And I don’t much appreciate being called a child.”

“[.....]” the crowd is finally silent. She basks in the peace.

“[I told you to stop confusing the Ambassador.] [Shut up Myy-Rrr-Pl. You didn’t even get these made right, we had to make a presentation, that’s how awful you and your tech were.] [It's working now, okay?]” The peace was lovely while it lasted.

“Humanity wants, uh, to not be dead,” she says. “And to not be enslaved either. Or like used as food.”

“[Can you understand it?] [Of course I can, I’m the one who learned the language.] [You barely learned it. You put half that presentation into a free-use translator.]” they keep talking, keep barking, chirping, hissing over her. “[This is a disaster.] [It’s not that bad. My presentation went over well enough.] [Myy-Rrr-Pl shut your beak about that [intercourse (derogatory)] thing.]”

“CAN YOU BE QUIET FOR ONE SECOND??” Samantha shouts above the arguing ambassadors. There is only so much she can tolerate, the noise alone is irritating but the senseless, contextless bickering is unbearable

“This is ridiculous,” she continues. “I don’t even know what’s going on, none of you dropped us an explanation. Why can I suddenly understand you? Who the hell is Meer-er-pull? And what the fuck is going on?”

There is no more translation, and nothing to translate into constant robotic rambling. There is no peace in the silence, just an underlying tension as every alien in the room turns to stare her in the eyes.

She wonders if she’s fucked up, if she’s doomed literally all of humanity because she couldn’t tolerate it all and lashed out. There’s an apology on the tip of her tongue, but she can’t manage to push it out through the indignation and fear.

No one breaks the silence. None of them speak. Samantha’s momentary confidence wavers and she considers making a run for it before realizing there are more of those giant aliens stationed at every exit.

“[....Aumko, I think we may have [intercourse (deragotory)] this beyond fixing.] [Feces (Derogatory) Feces (Derogatory) Feces (Derogatory)—]” Luckily, it doesn’t sound like she’s going to be executed for this. Unluckily, the aliens are just as unprepared as they were, and it wasn’t going to get any less confusing, was it?

“[I told you [Anatomical Feature (Exapserated)] that we should’ve started with a smaller group of diplomats. Instead of a “proper” meeting with everyone involved, we should’ve picked one from each of the 3 species, then gone from there. That would’ve been—]”

“I’m not getting any less confused here!!” Samantha cuts off the alien. “I’m not getting any younger either, I’m sick of your childish bickering, get over it and give me an explanation. Please, for the love of god.”

There’s a moment of pause as the translator spits out a bunch of meaningful white noise. It takes a couple moments before one of the birds speaks up.

“[We should cancel this until another time,] the bird chirps. Which isn’t satisfying, which isn’t an explanation, but hey it does technically fulfill the mission of stalling. And honestly she’s taking any win she can get from this. “[We’ll meet up with one of their diplomats, in a less noisy location. They’ll meet with one ambassador from each of our species.]

“[That doesn’t make sense though!!] [How will we even choose?] [A smaller meeting would be a sign of disrespect, we must show that we don’t view the New-Ally as lesser.]” the noise starts up again immediately.

“[SHUT UP!!]” roars one of the giant bears in a show of irritation that she can relate to on a spiritual level. “[Myy-Rrr-Pl will serve as the [Error: No suitable translation]’s ambassador. I’ll be the second ambassador. The third will be Kss’ta.]

There are ruffled feathers, low growls, no outward arguments but no agreements either.

“[I will quite literally fight anyone who decides to waste my time any further.] the bear is...puffing up? The mane of fur around its neck is puffed up like the pelt of an angry cat. “[Myy-Rrr-Pl is the only one who can even half speak the language, and who has the most context. Even if her presentation was awful.]”

“[I’m going to be there personally to ensure this doesn’t happen a second time. And Kss’Ta is the only one of you [Species Name] [Intercourse (Derogatory)] who doesn’t argue around in circles.”

The crowd is unhappier than ever. The bear speaking sounds done with it all. Samantha is too exhausted to give a shit at this point, and just decides to be glad it’s finally over, for now.

“[Is everyone here agreed with me?”] it flares about the room, ears pinned flat to its head and mane big enough to engulf the whole of its neck. All of the crowd flinches back, no one argues too vehemently, though complaints are muttered.

The bear turns to Samantha. “[You have my apologies for my own behavior, and the behavior of these [Species Name (Derogatory)]. We’ll escort your ship back to your station.]”

Relief hits her in a mix of “it’s finally over,” and “thank fuck no one died.”

Everyone leaves, with the mission sort of accomplished, with the peace talk sort of working, and a compromise no one is happy with. Except for Samantha.

But then she learns she’s the ambassador for humanity again, and a piece of her dies at the revelation.

Humanity’s welcome to the galaxy was chaotic, idiotic, ill prepared, and an overall clusterfuck of literally galactic proportions.

At least no one died.

[thelittleredheadedmusician]

First Lines

So @klaineharmony @wordshakerofgallifrey and @radioactivepigeons ​all tagged me to do this so uh here it is. This is NOT including academic stuff. But it IS including original work. 

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag some lovely people!

Hitch Hiker - my book:

It’s raining, hard enough to hit the windshield in fat drops though he can still clearly see the wet road ahead. Oliver isn’t speeding, in high school he would’ve flown around the curves out of town. But now? Coming home and in bad weather? He manages to stay just below the speed limit. And a good thing too.

I don’t want to linger any longer - DCU, Batman, Green Arrow:

Alfred was leery of the summer camp. Bruce went to public school partially because of Martha's pointed remarks regarding democracy and public education, partly because of her pointed remarks regarding Thomas's own time at boarding schools and prep schools surrounded by equally rich and entitled boys. Alfred never said anything at the time, it wasn't his place, and would never say anything now but, he whole heartedly believed both. Especially after his own childhood in private schools, even if the times and the British and American systems were very different. Regardless, Bruce was remaining in public school with all the trials it entailed. Including the socializing problem.

untitled post final chapter short for Hitch Hiker:

“I’m so glad I get to be here for this,” Eve practically flung herself onto the couch, bouncing slightly before settling. She’d just gotten dropped off after rehearsal and was miraculously still teeming with energy.

Give Me the Stars - an original short story:

Morgan leaned closer to the mirror, shifting her hair so she could examine the new growth near her scalp. It was a dark, almost dull brown and the scalp itself didn’t seem red or irritated. She half combed her fingers through it while she shook her hand loose of the strands. Where the few centimeters of brown ended, a shifting cascade of colors began. A swirl or wave or reflection of green and blue and purple with notes of black and pink and sometimes silver. Like an oil slick made tangible. Except, after two months it’d lost its glimmer, its shine. Which didn’t really matter since Morgan spent about seventy percent of the time tucking it up under one hat or another.

glitter and gold - DCU:

She hadn’t been expecting the second explosion. None of them had been expecting the second explosion. Luckily, they were all clear of the debris but Steph’s ears were ringing. A gut feeling said her comm had been knocked out but it’s not like she’d be able to tell right now anyway. She swayed, unsteady. But Batgirl had to worry about the people around her, not herself. A cursory glance looked as though the block’s residents had gotten back far enough before the blast hit. Leaving them covered in dust but unharmed.

five phones on the table - DCU, Titans:

The long table with its numerous chairs was, by proximity to the kitchen, a dining table but due to the nature of the building it occupied doubled as a meeting and strategy table. The small net, paddles, and light plastic balls stored in an innocuous box in the kitchen meant it tripled as a ping pong table.

Adulting Fail - DCU, Titans, Nightwing:

“RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON,” Donna says and for an instant he wonders how a woman who has never met his mother can sound exactly like her. But then again, Donna has always been and will always be his older sister, never mind the fact neither are sure if it’s by three months or three thousand years.

Seventh Floor Walkup - DCU, Titans, Nightwing:

Dick may slightly regret asking his friends to help him move. See, he didn’t have the funds for real movers but had promised pizza if they helped. Except Roy and Garth could each eat a whole pizza, Donna could eat two, and Wally half a baker’s dozen. Which left Dick carrying eleven boxes of pizza to his seventh-floor walkup.

Et tu Brute - DCU, Flash, Batman:

“What the-?” Barry shifted his momentum with ease, turning from where he’d been running towards the Batcomputer and Bruce waiting there for him to instead run towards the metallic object low to the ground and glowing a dull green he’d spotted out of the corner of his eye.

you were shunned and burned your cradle - Newsies:

Being a changeling in New York City hurts. It makes his skin itch and his lungs burn and his eyes water. From the iron that surrounds him, fills the very air along with the smoke. If he’s not careful when he reaches out or brushes against something his skin comes away with a sharp, searing scar.

The Devil Wears What? - DCU, Hellblazer, Zatanna:

“What is this?” John slurred, arm flopping towards the television screen.

The Hattrick - DCU, Green Arrow, Hellblazer:

There is a strong possibility that Mia is in hell. It’d be vaguely poetic and certainly fitting if her personal hell were an empty warehouse. The fact John Constantine is here definitely sells the idea.

Inhouse House Party - Les Miserables: 

“I thought we agreed that we weren’t doing Halloween this year?” Enjolras half grumbled, half called up the steps. “In light of the fact that there is a global pandemic and we’ve been responsibly quarantining and social distancing this whole time.” Despite his complaints, he still fixed the ridiculous headband he wore as part of his costume. The halved wiffle ball glued onto it made pretty decent looking fly eyes, but the weight was weird and the whole thing kept slipping as a result.

Second Time is Coincidence - DCU, Green Arrow, Hellblazer:

“Oh c’mon,” Mia groaned, slumping against the bonds that currently had her suspended from the warehouse ceiling. “Not you again!”

Three Musketeers - DCU, Batfam:

Bristol was technically in Gotham City limits. Though the gilted mansions and private woods with pastures and stables seemed like a whole other world in comparison. The residents liked to think so too, especially because – despite Gotham’s robust public transportation system – it was almost impossible to reach the rich suburb from the city proper. It was because they lived in this separate world that Bristol’s wealthy residents often fought to receive special treatment or even secede from the city all together.

Deal? Deal. - DCU, Hellblazer, Zatanna:

“No,” John whined, drawing it out into about six syllables. He stretched his arm out, nearly falling off the couch in the process, but Zatanna just pushed the half-empty glass of whiskey further away from the edge of the coffee table and out of his reach.

Pumpkin Guts - Les Miserables:

There had been strange noises coming from the kitchen all afternoon. Combeferre was staunchly ignoring them because he’s trying to finish reading this journal article before anyone else came home. Having Courfeyrac in the vague direction of behind him and doing who knew what all is more than enough of a distraction. Besides, Ferre can fairly well ignore the sounds coupled with Courf’s slightly off-key humming of Nightmare Before Christmas.

Sunrise Shadows - DCU, Batgirl, Starman:

It was late, or early depending on your perspective, and Steph was that bone deep tired that came after a fight to save the fate of the world. Which was fine, they’d won, but she didn’t really know where in the world she was and Steph really just wanted to crawl into bed. Maybe take her suit off first. Possibly slap some Neosporin on her cuts and scrapes. But mostly sleep.

The Good Stuff - Newsies:

Kath pulled her favorite armchair into the doorway of her apartment. The antique wingback her friends had helped her liberate from a thrift store in Queens and then clean and reupholster. It was, undeniably, too heavy to be shoved across the hardwood like that but Kath wanted to be comfy. And there were the little felt things on the legs to protect her floor.

Salt and Iron - DCU, Batgirl: 

Steph pried her bedroom window open before slipping in and closing it firmly behind herself. Then locked it for good measure. Sure, she’d seen some weirdness since first putting on a mask, and just a few months into her time as Batgirl she’d even fought off some Segway riding vampires with Kara. But this was different. For one, they weren’t real vampires but Dracula from an old film brought to life. For another, it looked like literal hell had overtaken Gotham.

Well, I either have really long opening lines or my understanding of what constitutes opening “lines” is skewed. Also my formatting didn’t always past so poo on tumblr for that. Hmm, this is mostly Halloween fics but also fairly indicative of what I write which is nice. I like that I start with dialogue so often, it’s weirdly fitting for me as a person. The cold open musing on Gotham’s social, political, economic structure at Three Musketeers isn’t my favorite but I am obsessed with it. I think Second Time is Coincidence is my favorite because Mia’s response to John is the only response anyone should ever have to John Constantine. 

All of my friends have already been tagged~ 

[tigerkirby215]

5e Isaac the Time-Traveling Archaeologist build (Skullgirls)

(Artwork by Lab Zero games)

Skullgirls was the first fighting game I ever really properly got into. With a memorable cast of Roaring 20s-designed characters (Bae-owulf <3) and very solid fighting game mechanics the game is a blast to play for players of all skill levels. Probably the most memorable part about Skullgirls has to be its cast: despite having only 14 playable characters they all feel distinct and have unique personalities which make them memorable. (Granted the exception of Fukkua who was mostly made as a joke.)

But the non-player characters are equally memorable: Lab Zero’s orphaned scientific misfits, Ben’s old police force, the Canopy Kingdom’s democracy... and Stanley! While these characters are expanded a great deal in the mobile release they were still lovable additions to the cast. But the character who stood out the most for me was Isaac. DLC character 29, his theoretical time travel kit was truly unique and I’m really sad that we didn’t get to try Isaac as a fighter (we got Beowulf instead which I can’t complain about, but I could honestly do without Eliza thanks) and only got a mention of Isaac in one of the story modes. (No spoilers.)

Ever since the inclusion of the Archivist subclass in the Artificer UA I had a concept in my mind to recreate Isaac using that subclass. Naturally you can imagine my disappointment when Archivist was not included in Eberron: Rising from the Last War. But thankfully with the release of Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount we get the Echo Knight subclass which was exactly what I was looking for! And with a time travel theme no less? With the ability to create time clones I can finally make Isaac a reality: this was one of the builds I made this Tumblr for and I’m super excited to finally be able to publish it!

GOALS

Infinite Timelines - The core of Isaac’s kit was going to be based on summoning clones to fight for him, which we now have a class for in 5e!

Power Glove - Isaac is a smart cookie with theonite-powered inventions giving him the upper hand.

いち びょう けいか - Isaac is of course a time traveler, so we’re going to need some time traveling powers.

RACE

While never specified I’m pretty sure Isaac is a human, but that being said some variations can be taken for a time traveler... Screw Variant Human though we’re going for Eberron races because I’m a hipster like that! Originally I considered Mark of Passage humans for a one-time time traveler Misty Step but ultimately I decided on Mark of Sentinel as it fits the theme of an all-known time traveler far better. Your Constitution score increases by 2 and your Wisdom score increases by 1, and you Sentinel’s Intuition allowing you to add a d4 to Insight or Perception checks because of course you’ve been to the future and know the truth about people and where things are already.

You also get Guardian’s Shield letting you cast a Theonite Shield once per Long Rest, and you get the Vigilant Guardian ability which will let you swap places with a nearby ally if they’re going to get hit by a weapon attack: blocking a projectile is a good use of an assist too! You also get a language of your choice along with Common as a human and I’d suggest Giant to talk to your partner, but of course pick whatever you please.

ABILITY SCORES

15; INTELLIGENCE - You need to be a smart cookie to time travel, and we’re going to be using Intelligence for a lot of our features.

14; DEXTERITY - This is primarily because I like even ability scores and we need this to multiclass.

13; WISDOM - Seeing as our Wisdom is increased by our racial traits we may as well get it at a 14, and professor badass would know basic medical procedures as well as the history of the Canopy Kingdom.

12; CONSTITUTION - Extra bulk is always nice when some washed-up wrestler is hitting you with a folding chair, and we also need Constitution for our skills as well.

10; CHARISMA - Isaac has a degree of rough charm: he wears the vest well but that hair isn’t doing him any favors.

8; STRENGTH - We simply don’t need this for the build and your partner handled most of the brute forcing.

BACKGROUND

Isaac is stated in-lore to be an Archaeologist and luckily there’s a background for it in Tomb of Annihilation! You get History proficiency and I’d personally swap the Survival proficiency with Arcana since we can’t get it as easily otherwise. You can also choose between either Cartographer’s Tools or Navigator’s Tools: I opted for the former but honestly either of them work. You also choose one exotic language of your choice and again: pick whatever you think is useful.

Your feature Historical Knowledge lets you use some of your Indiana Jones skills to determine the original purpose of any ruin you enter, who built it, and if any artifacts you find are valuable. Fortune and glory kid.

(Artwork by MagicBunnyArt on DeviantArt)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - FIGHTER 1

Starting off as a Fighter primarily for their saving throws. You get two skills from the Fighter list: I’d recommend Athletics to compensate for your low Strength score but you can honestly choose whatever for your second skill. (I chose Perception personally.)

Fighters get a Fighting Style of their choice and while Unarmed Fighting from the Class Feature Variants UA would make sense for a fighting game character we’ll be getting some time-travel boxing gloves shortly so I’d opt for Defense instead for an increase to AC. (Dueling is also a good choice if you want more offense instead of defense.) You also get Second Wind, letting you sit in the back and regenerate red health equal to 1d10 + your fighter level once per short rest.

I will quickly mention that as a Fighter you get a choice between either Leather Armor or Chain Mail in your starting equipment and I’d recommend taking the Chain Mail. Yes you can’t wear it because of your Strength score so see if you can also grab some Medium armor before you head out but that chainmail is going to serve us well shortly.

LEVEL 2 - ARTIFICER 1

The real starting class of this build is Artificer, and we only really took level 1 in Fighter for proficiency in Strength saves. Regardless Artificers get Magical Tinkering which lets them do some theonite tinkering on non-magical objects: I recommend reading the feature yourself to see what it can do, because you can do it a number of times equal to your Intelligence modifier.

Artificers also get access to Spellcasting. You get two cantrips of your choice: Fire Bolt is a simple Quarter-Circle-Forward Punch to shoot a projectile at your enemies, doing 1d10 fire damage and lighting flammable objects on fire. Guidance will let you give a mentorly pat-on-the-back to your Gigan partner, letting them add a d4 to an ability check.

For your leveled spells Artificers are prepared spellcasters, meaning they can swap their spells out on a long rest. Regardless the spells I’d prepare would be Cure Wounds to regenerate some red health and Detect Magic to locate any  theonite reserves in the ruins you’re exploring.

LEVEL 3 - ARTIFICER 2

Second level Artificers can Infuse Items: you know 4 total Infusions and can have two active at a time.

A Bag of Holding will help you carry that chainmail I told you to grab.

Enhanced Defenses will let you block a little more damage when block.

A Rope of Climbing will help you while spelunking, and speaking of spelunking a Wand of Secrets will help you find any hidden rooms or trap doors in the ruins you’re exploring.

But remember that the key to Artificer is picking infusions that your party will find useful! Pick a good assist, or else you’d be better working solo. You can also prepare another spell and Identify will let you further identify anything you find in a ruin... duh.

LEVEL 4 - ARTIFICER 3

3rd level Artificers have The Right Tool for the Job, letting them make a set of artisan’s tools over the course of an hour. But more importantly you get Artificer Speciality and the Armorer Unearthed Arcana subclass is perfect for an inventor with a heavy time gauntlet.

Armorers get Power Armor, or as I call them power fists. You can wear Heavy Armor regardless of its Strength requirement (which is good because your Strength is poo poo garbage) as it merges with your body and can’t be removed against your will.

You can choose between two different models of Power Armor and the Guardian armor will give you a dragon punch! Your fists count as Thunder Gauntlets and do a d8 thunder damage on hit, and causes enemies you hit to have disadvantage on attacks against targets other than you until the start of your next turn. You can also create a Defensive Field as a Bonus Action to get a number of temporary hitpoints equal to your level in Artificer: remember that blocking is as good as attacking!

IF UA ISN’T ALLOWED: This build honestly works fine with Battle Smith instead of Armorer since all we really need is the ability to use Intelligence to attack. We have enough Dexterity for you to wear Medium armor instead of using the Battle Smith’s Heavy Armor. The only reason for the Armorer multiclass is that I wanted punching gauntlets instead of a robot dog.

If you’re going to play Battle Smith instead take a bludgeoning weapon (IE a flail, warhammer, or maul) and flavor them as your punchy gauntlet. A maul does more damage but can’t be used with a shield, so it’s a great option if you want harder hits but less defense.

You can also cast your Artificer spells through the Power Armor, which is neat since Armorers get the Magic Missile and Shield spells innately.

LEVEL 5 - ARTIFICER 4

Taking level 4 in Artificer for an Ability Score Improvement, or rather the Linquist Feat to be able to gather information no matter what part of the world you’re in. Along with a plus one to your Intelligence score you learn three languages of your choice (pick whatever you think will be useful) and can write ciphers. A creature can only decode your messages if you teach them the code or if they succeed an Intelligence check equal to your Intelligence plus your proficiency bonus, so Scythana won’t be reading your research papers.

With the increase to Intelligence and the level up you can prepare two more Artificer spells: Feather Fall is useful to stop you from having a ground-bounce so your opponent can extend their combo, and Farie Fire can open up an enemy for a high hit if they’re blocking low.

LEVEL 6 - ARTIFICER 5

Ah screw it may as well take another level in Armorer to get your Extra Attack already. You can punch twice now in a combo: woo hoo!

You can also cast second level Artificer spells now: Armorers can innately cast Mirror Image and Shatter, and you can prepare second level spells from the Artificer list which I’ll discuss later.

LEVEL 7 - FIGHTER 2

Bouncing back to Fighter now; level 2 Fighters get Action Surge, letting them take one additional action in combat once per short rest. Extend that combo with some time stop! WRYYYYYYYYYYY!

LEVEL 8 - FIGHTER 3

Third level Fighters get to choose their Martial Archetype and woo boys there it is: Echo Knight! Echo Knights can Manifest Echoes of themselves from the future as a bonus action. You can put a single echo down 15 feet away from you which lasts until its destroyed, you dismiss it, you make another echo, or you’re incapacitated and unable to send yourself into the past.

The echo has an AC of 14 plus your proficiency bonus, 1 hit point (don’t worry you won’t feel it if your future self gets hit... which presents some weird paradox problems), and immunity to all conditions. If it has to make a saving throw it uses your saving throw bonus for the roll. It’s the same size as you and occupies a space. On your turn you can make the echo to move up to 30 feet in any direction without using an action but if your echo is more than 30 feet from you at the end of your turn it is destroyed.

You have several things you can do with your echo:

You can swap places with your echo with 15 feet of your movement, regardless of the distance between the two of you. Clearly it’s just you time traveling to where your future self is.

Any attack you make with that action can originate from the echo’s space if you choose to do so.

When a creature that you can see within 5 feet of your echo moves away from it, you can use your reaction to make an opportunity attack against that creature as if you were in the echo’s space.

You can use Unleash Incarnation to make one additional attack from your Echo’s location when you take the attack action, adding up to 3 attacks total. You can use Unleash Incarnation a number of times equal to your Constitution modifier.

LEVEL 9 - FIGHTER 4

Talk about a lot from one level huhn? Well all you’re getting from this level is +2 to your Intelligence with an Ability Score Improvement.

(Artwork by Pantalewns on DeviantArt)

LEVEL 10 - ARTIFICER 6

May as well grab level 6 in Artificer now for more Infusions! A Radiant Weapon attachment on your gauntlets will let you use them as a flashlight which can blind enemies that hit you! A Repulsion Shield meanwhile will let you push block an enemy that attacks you. Both these items take your reaction yes, and you have Shield for Reactions as well. But remember that these are just suggestions and you’re more than welcome to build other Infusions that will help your party.

You can also prepare a lot more spells now: two total with your levels and your Intelligence, but I will be suggesting 3 since we’ll get one more spell from an Intelligence increase later on and you’re a prepared spellcaster anyways so you can swap out your spells whenever.

Enhance Ability will let you provide an assist outside of combat, aiding your allies with checks and providing them other boosts.

Heat Metal will let you put a DoT on your opponent while you fight: more of Valentine’s thing but it helps!

Magic Weapon will let you punch a little harder, turning your Radiant Fists from a +1 weapon to a +2!

I again need to reiterate that Artificers are prepared spellcasters, so remember to swap out your spells when you need them!

LEVEL 11 - WIZARD 1

Speaking of prepared spellcasters oh god it’s Wizard. Welcome to the first use of Wizard on this blog and don’t worry: we have a lot more Wizards coming after Wildemount, which scares me because I don’t play Wizards. Anyways Wizards get some more spellcasting: Mending will let you repair any chains your partner might break, and Message will let you chat with her privately. Finally Mage Hand will let your future self reach out and grab something for you in the moment. Did I just pick the three cantrips that were right beside each-other on the massive list of Wizard cantrips? Yes, but that doesn’t mean these spells aren’t good.

Sapping Sting is also worth a mention as a Dunamancy-specific cantrip that causes your opponent to trip! Remember: gay tripping is gay.

Speaking of spells you learn two Wizard spells whenever you level up, and can add more spells to your spellbook if you find them on a spell scroll. Regardless Wizards have a big list of spells they can learn so uhhhhh...

Fog Cloud is ideal for a getaway, letting Scythana kick up a cloud of dust to heavily obscure the area.

Tenser’s Floating Disk is perfect for any spelunker, as it lets you create a three foot diameter theonite disk to carry up to 500 pounds of artifacts you discover.

You also get Arcane Recovery, letting you recover a level 1 spell slot on a short rest. More uses of Shield; neato!

LEVEL 12 - WIZARD 2

Ultimately the reason for the Wizard multiclass was to get some more time manipulation powers from the Chronurgy Magic subclass from Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount. That’s right we’re using two Wildemount subclasses; rejoice Critters! Chronurgists have Temporal Awareness, letting them add their Intelligence modifier to their Initiative rolls which is nice because your Dexterity is only a +2, and this will bump Initiative to a +6.

You also get Chronal Shift: when you or a creature within 30 feet of you that you can see makes an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw, you can use your reaction to force the creature to reroll after you see whether the roll succeeds or fails. You can use this reaction twice per long rest, so don’t meddle with the timeline unless its absolutely neccessary!

You also learn two more 1st level Wizard spells at this level:

You should be able to afford a 50 gp diamond by this point, right? Well Chromatic Orb will let you shoot a more powerful fireball at an enemy for 3d8 damage... or an ice ball. Or an acid ball!

Gift of Alacrity is a Chronurgy-specific spell so you may as well take it, as you can speed up time for an ally and give them a d8 to their initiative. Just remember that the spell does take some time to cast!

Oh god Wizards are overwhelming. Remember: you can get more spells if you find them in scrolls, which is good because right now you can prepare more spells than you have. Also if you have the chance see if you can find a Spellshard instead of a spellbook, just to keep the Theonite shard themeing.

LEVEL 13 - FIGHTER 5

Good god Wizard never again. It’s just straight through Fighter now, though it’s not like Echo Knight is an easy class either. 5th level Fighters get an Extra Attack... that you already have.

LEVEL 14 - FIGHTER 6

6th level Fighters get an Ability Score Improvement: max out your Intelligence for maximum damage with your gauntlets and your spellcasting.

LEVEL 15 - FIGHTER 7

7th level Echo Knights get Echo Avatar. As an action you can see and hear through your echo instead of your own senses. During this time you are deafened and blinded and you can see through your echo for up to 10 minutes. You can end it at any time without using an action and you can be up to 1000 feet away from your echo while using this action. Clearly you were just there the whole time, and are telling your allies what you saw.

It should be mentioned that technically you can teleport up to 1000 feet while using this ability, making it great for infiltration. Just saying!

LEVEL 16 - FIGHTER 8

8th level Fighters get another Ability Score Improvement and we’re going to improve our Constitution so that we can get back up when a detective with tuba lungs does a JoJo impression on us.

LEVEL 17 - FIGHTER 9

Level 9 Fighters get Indomitable, letting them reroll a saving throw once per long rest. Reminder that you have two rerolls that you can use on anything with Chronal Shift, and now you have one saving throw you can reroll for yourself. Turn back the clock if you get hit because life isn’t worth wasting seconds.

LEVEL 18 - FIGHTER 10

Level 10 Echo Knights get Shadow Martyr. As a reaction you can cause your echo to teleport in front of an ally you see being attacked and make them take the blow instead. Your echo appears within 5 feet of the ally and the attack is directed towards them, and you can use this reaction once per short rest. Remember to spend the next turn going back in time to save your friend: and don’t get hit when you do!

LEVEL 19 - FIGHTER 11

Level 11 Fighters get an Extra Attack that actually goes above and beyond regular Extra Attacks, so now you have three attacks total! Rejoice!

LEVEL 20 - FIGHTER 12

The final level is the 12th level of Fighter for your last Ability Score Improvement and you’re going to want to increase Constitution again for a 20 health boost at the end of the build.

(Artwork by MagicBunnyArt on DeviantArt)

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Hang on to your hat - A good Constitution modifier and most of your levels in Fighter means a health bar that’s very close to 200, and you have a positive saving throw score in everything except for Charisma with the ability to reroll up to three failed saves.

I'm all there is of the most real - Have I ever mentioned that Artificer is dumb when it comes to AC? 21 AC with just chainmail and a shield being both improved, and up to 23 AC if you get your hands on Full Plate. Even if your DM doesn’t let you wear Heavy armor because “Armorer is OP” a Breastplate will still give you 21 AC if you also use a shield. (18 without a shield.)

Bad puppies! (Good puppies) - You are great no matter where the enemy is with three Thunder Gauntlet attacks in melee range, several spells to use at range, and your echoes to let you teleport around and effectively be in two places at once.

CONS

Smart Cookie - Even though you’re a professor you’re not the most talented. You know hella-lot about History and Arcana but your Perception is about average and your Athletics leaves something to be desired.

Push Block - You’ve got a few too many options in combat with four different Bonus Actions (one of which is one-time use and one of which is only used at the start of the fight to be fair) and Reactions for Shadow Martyr, Chronal Shift,  Vigilant Guardian, Opportunity Attacks from you or your Echo, and reactionary spells like Shield and Feather Fall. The problem with infinite timelines is that there’s infinite options to choose from.

Seconds count - A lot of your abilities have a limited number of uses, and while some of them (Second Wind, Shadow Martyr, Action Surge) come back on a short rest a lot more of them (Spell Slots, Chronal Shift, Vigilant Guardian, Arcane Recovery, Indomitable, Unleash Incarnation) only come back after a long rest.

But infinite foresight means you won’t be caught without a plan, even if you don’t have the Foresight spell. Throw a punch or ten at a zombie cat-girl and then tap out and rest up. And do get your partner out of jail: someone needs to carry your equipment.

(Artwork by Kitty-Katskratch on DeviantArt.)

[plainvanillapotato]

the 100 diaries S3 E3

quarantine diaries: june 25 2020

season 3 episode 3: “Ye Who Enter Here”

based on this title imma just assume that this episode is gonna be hell aka Dante’s inferno

this dynamic between lexa and clarke is very beauty and the beast vibez with how clarke is give lexa ‘i wont see you’

“I can do both (hate lexa and herself) ” clarke said. We love a multi-tasker

“I want your people to become my people” ..”join me” Is lexa proposing a political marriage with clarke????

wow clarke used bellamy’s “kill me” line

clarke also said “Go float yourself”....let these kids say FUCK

Ice queen!! love matriarchy!

Yesssss Lexa you kick that guy off the ledge. this is what i like to see but also that could have really killed one of your people down below 

chill kane its just a med kit. but also watch they need a med kit but kane is like noooo 

i still dont like this relationship between bellamy and this girl bc who is she??  the writers really didnt put any effort into making me like her. Did you tell her how you injured your leg bellamy? Did you tell her that you got it trying to save clarke??

“There was no room at the inn” did pike just quote the Bible??

but also this reminded me of this office scene

look at the prince his fancy new clothes. lol when hes said “what you really want” my mind immediately when to spice girls

Humpy dumpy sat on a wall. side note How did bellamy sense that Octavia was sitting up there like people dont naturally turn back toward the door they just went threw but i guess bellamy can just sense octavia’s vibez

aww look at bellamy being a supportive brother to octavia

Echo???? damn is my bellamy and echo ship still on??

Who is this assassin?? Highkey dramatic with that unwrapping of his weapons.

waht? Raven can crack the code now? since when? since fucking when?

Ugh again with this girl. its not like i dont ship her and bellamy cuz it looks like she makes bellamy happy but wtf the writers didnt build up the relationship at all so it just feels false to me

While on the topic of boos what ever happened to millers boyfriend?? Like they talked about it and now...what where is he?

i find it kinda funny how this grounder assassin has like primal weapons but has this kinda modern, cheap ass watch that you can buy at target or one that you would get at mcdonald’s. it could have been such a meme if the assassin pulled out this relic instead

lowkey this grounder marketplace looks like star wars land in disneyland

Free food?! and kane gives her a patch but what good is that patch?? 

“Its up to the people.” we love a democracy except when majority of the population are idiots aka everyone on the ark

"aden is ready” so like do these people just base the next leader’s  readiness to rule on if they’re good enough fighters?? I guess that makes sense considering how majority of the population seem to be warriors. Lexa also mentioned something about a conclave..wtf is a conclave? 

look at lexa defending clarke against this baldy. damn she’s simping hard for clarke and its so obvious and yet baldy just suggested that she kill clarke.

also i cant help but laugh at the fact that when people finally meet wannheda they just see clarke. and ok sure she may do some badass stuff but come on dont tell me she doesnt look like a cinnamon roll

wait so what does bellamy’s girlfriend actually do? like is she an engineer or what??

yikes more neck deaths

“I’m not leaving my blade” neither would i octavia. also im curious on whether the grounders added the drawing of the gun when the space people came down with their guns because it seems like the space people are the only ones with guns that they would interact with (bc of the grounder lore surrounding guns and that they didnt seem buddy buddy with the mountain men)

ok clarke you pull that knife on lexa. but look at the intense eye contact damn. also that was such a dramatic knife drop. i gotta say that the background music during this was definitely a choice

also clarke can you please remove these ugly ass red hair extensions?

13th clan. huh? i dont like this. mostly because i dont like the world building and i just prefer bellamy and the rest of the spacers doing ‘whatever the hell they want’

ngl i thought that singer was clarke for a second. And i was like woah clarke can really sing?! but atlas it wasnt her. you know this made me think of all the other shows where they have that one musical episode...oh god i hope they do a musical scene later in the show. i would die happy. also did lexa really just hire a singer for this event?? 

How long is this assassin prepping like he’s been doing this seen the beginning of the episode?? who is his father, mother, brother, kin?? 

“how many floors”..”All of them” bitch if this mission were up to me everyone would be dead. but luckily its up to bellamy who always come thru

“Bear our mark.” when abby told kane that he should be chancellor it was more like i dont want to be marked so you should do it. jk also that’s not an honor that is a branding. and dont hate me but MARK-us because marcus kane. lol i dont care if you hate me that joke was for me. 

Yes bellamy you crash whatever this event is but also how the hell did climb up so fast! 

Are you kidding me echo? that two timing bitch ugh just when i rooting for her and bellamy she pulls this shit. 

the assassin is at Mount weather?! ugh. 

aww look at sinclair giving raven a pep talk

Oooo i called it Gina is dead. but the assassin really when for the abomin and not the neck..interesting choice. Why is this this assassin so much smarter than gina like he knew about that secret compartment and he had the codes also he got a tattoo with the codes. That’s some commitment!

you go sinclair. aww poor raven wabbling as fast as she can with that leg brace.this assassin must not be that good of an assassin if Sinclair can fight him off

Ofc they destroy mount weather. raven and sinclair were yeeted in that explosion

That stare that bellamy gave to Lexa and then that look between bellamy and clarke. ooo the tension is real

Also does bellamy know that this girlfriend just died or??? but i guess thats something that shouldnt be found out via radio

Who did Clarke’s makeup and hair or did she do it herself?? cuz it was definitely a bold choice. also the following image is not to mock clarke its just the most curse makeup image that ive seen and i love to share it with others

lexa bowing down to clarke...ship???

Is that Emerson??! bitch

[chaniters]

Halloween Part II

The Rangers take on Red Behemoth, who has joined Psychoathor as he leads the Phoenix riots against GeniTech’s Headquarters amidst an ecological disaster.  Sidestep comes up with a plan that can hopefully salvage the situation. 

(So on a quick note, I’ve learned that complex stories with multiple characters and a long series of actions and consequences are HARD to write.)

Hope you enjoy this!

Spoilers, as usual. 

__________________________________

“Let’s do the wiring trick!” you ask hurriedly, gun in hand back to the pile of clutter Charge and you are using for cover. You’re very thankful to whoever used this rooftop as their personal storage, else Red Behemoth would have splattered you both by now. 

“You think you can penetrate that armor?” he looks nervous and sweaty, but he’s still got that spark in his eyes that tells you he’s aching for action and crazy stunts right this instant. 

“With the plasma cutter, I got at your HQ? In a heartbeat!” you say holding it on your right hand. 

A single nod. Good. Steel would already be giving you hell about stealing. 

“Alright, you go left, I’ll go right,” he says starting a sprint that leaves a static streak behind him.  Never ceases to amaze you how fast he can move. You start your own sprint… 

“Hey, over here you Soviet asshole! I bet your museum armor can’t hit me!” you taunt him while taking a few energy gunshots at the Behemoth. You’re making it worse by sending a strong scent of frustration into Red’s mind as your shots hit his visual hud.

“Die, you capitalist pigs! RAAAHHH!!!” he roars turning the chassis of his armor towards you, machinegun’s spinning and vomiting bullets at a frightening speed. Thankfully there are a few water tanks on this rooftop to avoid the onslaught…not that they last long before you have to take cover elsewhere. You’re keeping his aim a few degrees off with an illusive after-image. It should be enough to keep you safe against most enemies but considering Red Behemoth’s already awful aim you could still get hit at any time.  

You let go of his mind just as Charge gets close enough to yank one of the Behemoth’s machineguns out of its base with both arms. It doesn’t go like planned, because the thing’s still heavily wired to the villain’s and won’t fully detach, nor will it stop firing… Luckily for you, Charge’s very good at improvising. He manages to turn the gun around just enough to face its owner, blowing up its own base along with most of the Behemoth’s mechanical arm. 

“Newsflash, the cold war’s over bitch! Lay off the guns!” Charge adds his own attempt to infuriate the enemy. 

“Never! I will burn your entire bourgeoise experiment of a country myself if I have to!” he yells turning while aiming a heat-seeker missile at Ortega with his surviving arm. 

Now it’s all up to you… You time your leap and… 

Success!

Wrapping your legs around the armor’s back, Behemoth notices too late that you’re there, swatting fruitlessly in your direction with his missile-loaded arm.

“Get off me, you little Sidekick shit!”

“It’s SIDESTEP!” you say dodging while confusing him about the length of his claw, making him think it’s impossible to reach you. If only… A slab of concrete collides with his face just in time to distract him. You hold on tighter, realizing Elyise is there providing support… good. 

“You’re all products of this weakened and fallen democracy! You will all be crushed under the Soviet Heel!” his Synthesizer yells while shooting some manner of a laser from his chest at Elyise, who quickly levitates away from its firing arc. 

“How many weapons do you have in there, freak??!” you ask in shock. 

“More than enough to destroy all of you American puppets!!”

“You’re not even a true Russian agent!” you say taking out the cutter and sticking it as close as you dare to the armor without burning your hand. 

“My birthplace doesn’t matter as long as I am serving the great ideals of LENIN and the motherlan…- AAAGHH!”

The burning must have got to him, and that does get his attention big time. He jerks violently, while trying to catch you with the claw, like a maddened bull. You twist and turn like a snake, doing your best to avoid getting crushed.

Luckily, the cutter is top-notch, and soon enough you have a decently sized fracture on the shell. You pull the wiring from your pack as fast as you can, and stick it in, throwing the other end at the ground, were Charge takes it.

“GET OFF!” Behemoth yells with a spin that actually leaves you without enough hold to stay on top. It’s a bad landing, and it takes the air of your lungs as you fall over the hard rooftop. You stand as fast as you can, but he’s faster this time. All you can see is the Red Behemoth impossibly tall in front of you, pointing the missile straight at your face.

“Say your prayers to your almighty dollar now” his voice thunders down onto you. 

“Oh, will you shut up already? Do you even know how annoying you sound?” Charge says activating a full discharge … 

What follows is that delightful moment when Red looks down, only now noticing the cables going all the way from Charge’s hands to the back of his armor…

*BKZKKAAAAAP*

He lights up like a glorious christmas tree, everything malfunctioning at once, intense black smoke coming from within soon after. He only manages a weak-high-pitched scream before falling down on his head. 

His arm falls limps to the floor, vaguely pointing at you. It’s over. He’s done. You won.

But the small missile’s not done, seems it didn’t get the memo. You notice that just as it activates, the burnt arm’s mechanism not releasing it. It’s ignited tail sizzles and yanks at it’s hold trying to break free for a whole two horrible, endless seconds as you direct a panicked jump to the side…  

Colorful.

That’s all you can think about the resulting explosion before the shockwave separates your feet from the ground.

Impact comes from behind as well, as your back hits hard against Charge’s solid chest. He wraps his arms around you, protective, holding you in place. His gesture is firm but ultimately hopeless, as the shockwave will soon sweep him away as just as it did you. Still, he doesn’t let go.  

Despite his aid, it’s now the both of you falling down from the building, fast as a bullet and hard as a brick. Your life flashes before your eyes in as the ground closes in, much shorter than you had hoped it would be.  Still, once the final score is tallied, you have to agree that hitting the pavement head-first while in Charge’s strong arms is a pretty decent way to go. You can probably accept this fate… He is the man that you…

…no. NO!!! What the hell are you thinking? Are you daydreaming in the middle of a fucking war?!?! What is wrong with you?!

Your training kicks in, dissolving the romantic delusion and bringing you back to the bloody reality of Phoenix’s riot. Pulling the pathetic sentimentalism aside, your mind reaches swift for Sentinel, who miraculously is both nearby and happens to be the ranger that can pick on your calls for help faster than any trained operative you’ve ever worked with. 

Because he’s a professional and not someone fantasizing about some himbo coming to his aid. Ugh, you disgust yourself. When did you let it get this bad? Your handlers warned you so many times against developing such strong personal attachments like this and it’s never been clearer that they had a point…   

Sentinel’s wind gust is quick, efficient, and incredibly cold, stopping you both from becoming a permanent landmark in the nick of time.    

When you finally do hit the ground, the impact is soft and gentle, and you both roll slowly to the side, Charge still won’t let go. You look back to see he’s got his eyes closed, shivering. Shit, he was probably expecting to die right now, just like you did… 

“Hm… guys? I’m really digging this bromance of yours, but Psychopathor’s Doomriders are still out there trying to kill everyone?” Sentinel says, hovering downwards. “Good save calling on me Sidestep, that telepathy’s sure handy” He grins, only his lips visible under his mask. 

Charge exhales, and it takes a few seconds for him to actually realize no one is going to break every bone, and that it would be wise for him to let go of you now, a point that you help drive with a heavy frown.  

“Thanks, Sentinel,” you say dusting yourself off, your gaze still on Charge. 

What the heck are you doing Awan? Why do you want him to hold you when you should yell for him to stay the fuck away? The worst part is you’re pretty sure you’re sending the worse mixed signals and now that you’ve effectively blackmailed Elyise into leaving him, there’s not going to be anything stopping this mess from getting impossibly much worse. 

You need to pick a lane and stay in it, and it can’t be the same as his. Right?  

“Great job, both of you,” Charge says, a bit sheepish, pretending he wasn’t burying his face on your shoulder just a minute ago.

If you could only scream now…

____________________________

“Well it’s official, it can get worse,” Anathema says holding a tablet that’s playing the news. “Another shootout, three dead, and now they’re taking over police stations. The Revengers got beaten badly. Psychopathor’s people are passing guns onto the rioters right now.”

Everyone looks at the scenes with concern. While Red Behemoth’s been defeated, The Calamity, Ripper, Queen of Diamonds and the Beast from Below have all joined Psychopathor’s “Doomriders”, his improvised villain team and more are said to be about to join as well. More and more people are rallying to them each hour. 

“At this rate, there’s going to be a civil war when they reach the base of the Arcology” Ashfall states

“That why we get the mission done, and don’t let them get any closer,” Steel says adjusting his new hand’s mods. 

“Oh yeah? Fighting Psychopathor’s one thing, but how are we supposed to stop hundreds, maybe thousands of armed civilians? I didn’t sign up for this!” Ashfall replies, and soon an argument erupts. Ashfall’s outbursts at Steel often make your own arguments seem mild. 

You take the tablet from Anathema as he joins in, their voices fading into the background as your shields raise. You focus on following the events on the screen. Only a few hours since the helicopter ride from Los Diablos, but the images are outright haunting now. Discarded Halloween costumes everywhere, stepped on by people fighting over air filters, shops closing or getting burned down and massive traffic jams after some rioters turned to burn cars as well. 

People have completely lost it, taking orders from the worst villains imaginable. Some of them, especially the ones without covered faces are going into awful coughing fits on screen. Just watching it makes you adjust your own air filter tighter, a constant reminder that you’re surrounded by the cloud.  

Things escalated very quickly after the first death from toxic poisoning was confirmed by the media, and it’s turned into a real shitshow since then. 

If you could just leave the villains and GeniTech sort out their differences in private it would be great, but that’s not an option. Not when the air is poison and everyone knows there are not enough gas masks coming. GeniTech did not help things out at all when they announced their “unlimited” power supply could keep the Arcology supplied with fresh air and clean water for centuries to come, of course, only for those with the means to buy their way in.

It doesn’t matter if Catastrofiend caused the toxic spills, the media caught on the factories being subsidiaries and now everyone’s blaming GeniTech… which also happens to owns the only safe refuge. 

A few civilians already tried to break in, and it turned bloody for them when GeniTech’s soldiers opened fire with short-range repeating anti-riot laser weapons. Most of it was blocked from the news, but several videos are being passed on by cellphone messages by those who recorded it, and it only made everything worse. They dispersed for now, but once Psychopathor rallies enough support and amassed enough weapons to fight off the GeniTech mercenaries, the parks around the trio of conjoined massive futuristic skyscrapers that form the Arcology are going to become a superpowered battle royale and who knows how many are going to die.

 You’ve given up on trying to find his motivation by now. Truth is, he’s probably just as angry at GeniTech and the government as everyone joining him and wants it all to burn. 

Steel’s right that if you let Psychopathor advance, the crowd will immediately follow and it will turn into a real bloodbath. But if you stop them… then the fucking cloud will still get them. 

Why is humanity so reckless and stupid, you can only wonder.

You focus back on them, Ashfall and Steel pointing fingers at each other while Anathema tries to mediate. Sunstream and Elyise are whispering at the back and Charge just looks miserable. 

“Marshall” you interrupt them at the right moment to break the argument, adding a mental finger-snap to get everyone’s attention to it. “I’m sorry but both Steel and Ashfall are both right. This is useless, we can’t stop Psychopathor if the citizens are on his side, and even if we could it will end badly because the cloud isn’t going away.”

“I know that, but do you have any better ideas?” Charge says exhausted. 

“Yes. We need to get GeniTech to let the people inside until the cloud dissipates. It’s the only way.”

“Already asked for that. They said no, no one gets in without paying them. Company policy, they said.”

“Well then we need to ask again”

“Look Sidestep, I’ve called several times already, ok?. We can’t turn those corporate vampires compassionate overnight.”

“Who said anything about calling? Their entire board is gathered in there for their Halloween party, right? I say we visit them.”

“What makes you think that will make any difference…?”

“I’m pretty sure I can help you appeal to their values if I’m right beside you. You know, change their minds on the subject?” you say tapping your forehead.

There is a brief moment of silence as everyone considers your words. They all know you’re a telepath, you just haven’t ever had a situation to use your powers like this. 

“I’m in,” Anathema says extending his hand first

“Me too” Ashfall places his hand on top of Anathema’s, a quick second.

“I don’t think there’s much of a choice here, we have to stand by the people” Sentinel says adding his own.

“Agreed. And I don’t want to shoot civilians, like ever” Sunstream states joining the hand stack

“I’m game for it, never liked those greedy bastards” Elyise states as she enters the huddle. 

Steel gives you a long stare 

“It might…actually be worth a shot,” he says drily before placing his new hand on top of Elyise’s.

All your eyes converge on Charge’s… he finally snorts, stacking his right with you all. 

“Alright, team… So this is how we’re going to do this…”

___________________________________________________

My Fanfics: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/181692759294/my-fanfiction-for-fallen-hero

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters and the setting of the Fallen Hero: Rebirth and upcoming Fallen Hero: Retribution games written by Malin Riden. I do not claim ownership of any characters from the Fallen Hero wold. These stories are a work of my imagination, and I do not ascribe them to the official story canon. These works are intended for entertainment outside the official storyline owned by the author. I am not profiting financially from the creation of these stories, and thank the author for her wonderful game/s, without which these works would not exist.

[fortunatelylori]

J0nereys in Winterfell: Let’s make this as uncomfortable as possible for everyone, shall we?

Right before the premiere, the Ds decided to stoke the dying ambers of the J0nereys relationship by saying that they didn’t have time to develop Jon and D*ny’s relationship in season 7, despite dedicating almost 5 episodes to it. But, now, they say, now we’re really going to see Jon and D*ny’s relationship blossom.  

So let’s see how Jon and D*ny spend their time now that they’re “together, together”.  (lolz ... they sound like toddlers).

Jon and D*ny share 5 scenes in this episode and they run the gambit from the strange and ridiculous to the deeply, deeply disturbing. And as with most of their scenes, they’re never really alone. Something always encroaches on the relationship in order to add another new layer of just sheer and utter desolation.

The “skip the awe and go straight for the fear” scene: 

Gods, this scene is unsettling! Everything from the bleak lighting, to the subdued military music, to the rivers of soldiers marching towards Winterfell. There is nothing triumphant or feel good about this scene. 

In order to fully understand this scene and Jon and D*ny’s reactions, I think we need to remember what D*ny said in season 7. There’s two important lines in there that come into play here. 

The first one is in episode 2 of season 7: 

Tyrion: On a night like this, you came into the world. 

Varys: I remember that storm. All the dogs in King’s Landing howled through the night. 

D*ny: I wish I could remember it. I always thought this would be a homecoming. Doesn’t feel like home. 

Since the start of season 7, D*ny has been chasing an elusive sense of belonging in Westeros while the people of Westeros seem hell bent on denying her that. 

No one in the North is acting directly hostile towards her. They’re just subdued, apprehensive and suspicious, as anyone would when faced with 100.000 foreign soldiers marching through their streets. But D*ny is unable to cope with this reality or even attempt to see things from the Northerns perspective, particularly since at the end of season 7, this is how she viewed her relationship with the North: 

D*ny: I’ve not come to conquer the North. I’m coming to save the North. 

The North has, unfortunately, not been informed of D*ny’s benevolence so D*ny is left feeling slighted by the long faces. Jon, who has now been completely colonized (at least in theory) by D*ny, is so attune to her crazy that he’s quick to offer an explanation and a pained smile: 

Jon: I warned you. Northerners don’t much trust outsiders. 

Yeah ... you also told her that they would come to see her for “what” she is, Jon. Which in D*ny’s world can only mean they will fall in love with her the moment they set eyes on her. No wonder she’s dissapointed. And you have only yourself to blame. 

So ... in the absence of masters to crucify and a crowd of brown people to surf, what is D*ny to do to get that validation she so desperately craves? 

Ah, yes. Good ol’ faithful!

In season 7 D*ny also said this: 

D*ny: They [dragons] were terrifying, extraordinary. They filled people with wonder and awe. 

Let’s see some of that wonder and awe, Winterfell!

People are literally hugging the walls! So I’m assuming not so much wonder and awe but certainly extreme emotions of terror. Well, she got, at least, 1 right. 

The Northerners she’s come “to save” are running away in fear and screaming. D*ny’s reaction: 

How does Jon feel about his “new love of his life” terrifying the people he claims to fight for? Who knows. D*ny’s ego blows him off screen. 

The “diplomacy for dummies” scene: 

You know what it’s like ... first time meeting your partner’s family. You’re sitting right across from them while they ogle you like you’re some kind of alien coming to abduct their precious offspring. You smile and pretend to be deeply invested in washing the dishes even though you eat off plastic plates at home. Hell, you even say you love ironing even if you send everything to be dry cleaned. I mean who has time for that shit, am I right?

Well, D*ny hasn’t had this extremely important life lesson hoisted on her until now. Luckily Tyrion lent her his copy of “Diplomacy for dummies” right before they arrived in Winterfell and she manages to hobble together something akin to a galaxy overlord feigning interest in the mere mortals around her: 

D*ny: Thank you for inviting us into your home, lady Stark. The North is as beautiful as your brother claimed. As are you. 

Honestly, the thing I find most insulting about this line doesn’t even have anything with D*ny, but with the Ds. They’ve already pulled this “woman fake complimenting another woman in order to appease her” shtick with Sansa and Lyanna Mormont. At this point, it seems to me they have no idea how women greet each other. 

Of course, D*ny’s attempt is shut down by a Sansa Stark that has decided to go all yolo on everyone’s asses this episode: 

Bitch, please! I’m way hotter than you. I’ve only spent the last 8 hours getting ready so that Jon eats his heart out when he realizes he’s having sex with the wrong relative. 

This frosty look is followed by a tortured: 

Sansa: Winterfell is yours, Your Grace. 

that has D*ny deciding real quick that in fact the North sucks, Sansa is a traitor and she’s not getting her adoration quota met at all by these ungrateful bastards that she’s come to liberate ... aaa ... save ... aaa ... conquer: 

How does Jon think the meeting of his queen/lover/aunt and his sister-cousin/owner of his heart/bane of his existence went? ..... Footage missing. 

The “Roasting of Jon Snow” scene: 

There is one key line in this scene that encapsulates the entire Jon/D*ny dynamic in this episode and it’s delivered by the Ds favorite misogynistic mouthpiece, one tiny Lyanna Mormont, to Jon Snow:  

Lyanna: Your Grace? But you’re not, are you? You left Winterfell a king and came back a ... I’m not sure what you are now. A lord? Nothing at all? 

Jon: It’s not important. 

Jon is doing his best karoake version of Nothing else matters in this scene (careful, Jon! Metallica is famously prickly about their copyrights) but the fact still remains. Through out this episode, when it comes to his interactions with D*ny, Jon is, in fact, nothing at all. He doesn’t express any opinion, he doesn’t react. He’s essentially dead inside and the woman whom he’s supposedly in love with has cost him everything: his position, the respect of his people, his relationship with his family and, ultimately, even his voice. 

In order to exist in D*ny’s world, Jon needs to make himself small because “it’s not important”. He isn’t important. Only D*ny is important. 

I’m sorry but the Jon Snow I know is a proud man. He’s the guy who was ready to kill someone for calling his father a traitor. Which is why, perhaps, he can’t help but slip in this scene and say this: 

Jon: I had a choice. Keep my crown or protect the North. I chose the North!

Perhaps we can now put to rest the argument that Jon didn’t need to bend the knee since D*ny was already willing to help with the apocalypse. And we should put it to rest not just because Jon basically gives everyone the cliff notes to the political Jon theory but because, most significantly, D*ny doesn’t contradict him. 

She doesn’t stand up in this scene and say: Actually I was ready to fight for you all without Jon Snow bending the knee. 

She also doesn’t take the opportunity to ask Jon about it later on in the episode. That’s because she knows she wouldn’t be in Winterfell if Jon hadn’t bent the knee. 

Tell me again how any of this is romantic? Especially when it ends with: 

Sansa: May I ask? How are we meant to feed the greatest army the world has ever seen? While I ensured our stores will last through winter, I didn’t account for Dothraki, Unsullied and two full grown dragons. 

Hold on there, missy! Where do you think you are? In some kind of democracy where you’re allowed to question the glorious leader?!? Besides, I’ll have you know that D*ny is the very smartest leader evah and she has totally prepared supply chains for her humongous army and ... 

Oh ... Well, Sansa, if you must know I have it on very good authority from D*ny’s stans that the loot train attack was a strategic move on D*ny’s part and she didn’t actually burn any of the food. And now she’s going to tell you just how you’re going to feed all these people, ok? 

Sansa: What do dragons eat anyway?

D*ny: Whatever they want. 

.....

Yeah, sorry, Sans. D*ny’s a little busy at the moment eating Jon’s soul so you’re going to have to figure it out. 

You know ... when Emilia Clarke said that D*ny would try to make the Starks and the North like her despite the fact that they clearly don’t, I thought it would last more than 5 minutes of screen time. It basically took one frosty look and the smallest bit of attitude for D*ny to begin to threaten the Northerners and Jon’s family members with death via dragon. 

You might wonder how Jon reacts to all of this? And if you are ... what the hell is wrong with you?!? The man is “nothing at all”. We’ve already established that. 

The “expiration date” scenes: 

Davos, bless him, is attempting to save Jon’s reputation and crown despite the brooding bastard’s best efforts to rid himself of both by proposing a marriage alliance between Jon and D*ny at the end of the war. Tyrion is, surprisingly, subdued in this scene despite knowing that Jon and D*ny rubbed love organs together. 

But it’s Varys that really shoots down the idea for whatever reason. It’s a bit early to really figure out why Varys isn’t keen on the idea of Jon and D*ny marrying but he does utter the best bit of J0nereys foreshadow in the whole episode: 

Varys: Respect is how the young keep us at a distance. So we don’t remind them of an unpleasant truth. 

Tyrion: What is that? 

Varys: Nothing lasts. 

Yeah, I’d say there’s more than one unpleasant truth lurking about in Winterfell, my dear Lord Spider. 

I’m pretty sure that at least a few people had an orgasm when the marriage alliance was proposed, feeling as if this all but ensures that J0nereys is endgame. 

But here’s the thing: this idea of a marriage between Jon Snow and Daenerys Targareyen is being introduced too late into the game. This would have made sense back in season 7, before Jon bent the knee. 

Right now, the damage to Jon’s reputation is already done and the whole world is about to find out he’s a Targareyen. How do you think the people of the North will feel about two Targs on the throne? It’s not going to happen. Not only that but since Jon’s claim supersedes D*ny’s, she would never be able to marry him and rule as Queen of the 7 kingdoms. She would have to pick one over the other. 

Which means that all this scene can hope to be is a pleasant smoke and mirrors technique to distract everyone from the fact that J0nereys is essentially whiling their time away before the inevitable grave of the parentage reveal. 

At this point, we’re about halfway through the episode. We’ve already been informed that Jon and D*ny’s relationship won’t last. D*ny is just about ready to let the dragons loose on Sansa and we have yet to have an actual scene of these two people talking. 

So ... what is on our love birds minds? ... Sansa, of course. 

D*ny: Your sister doesn’t like me. 

Jon: She doesn’t know you. If it makes you feel any better, she didn’t like me either when we were growing up. 

When I first heard this line, it really stung that the first piece of personal information Jon shares with D*ny on screen is a rehash of the old “Sansa was mean to Jon when they were children” show invention. However, I’ve come to reconsider this line and for reasons I will touch upon tomorrow in my Jonsa meta, I find this kind of adorable. 

At the moment, let’s just say Jon is trying very hard not to antagonize D*ny and Sansa’s reactions to her are making it difficult which in turn frustrates Jon.

Speaking of: 

D*ny: She doesn’t need to be my friend. But I am her queen. 

(pointed pause)

D*ny: If she can’t respect me ... 

D*ny gets interrupted by the Dothraki that have been sent to feed her dragons so she never finishes what she was going to say. But ... what was she going to say? What kind of punishment does she believe is warranted for Sansa’s frosty reception and food question?

While Sansa is making it very clear she doesn’t like D*ny, she has yet to disrespect her. But as we’ve come to see with D*ny, she no longer knows the difference. Something Jon is painfully aware of. Otherwise why wouldn’t he be more outwardly concerned about his lover threatening his sister to his face? Talk about disrespectful ... 

Also: 

Sansa: What do dragons eat anyway? 

Dothraki: Only 18 goats and 11 sheep. 

Yeah ... let that sink in. 

The “It looked easy when Hiccup was doing it”scene: 

This scene hurts my souuuuuuul! You’d think with the kind of money HBO sunk into this TV show and into the Ds, they’d manage to come up with something other than a lame rip off of How to train your dragon for Jon’s first time riding Rhaegal. 

The cutesy tone feels anachronistic here for several reasons: 

D*ny’s dragons are not Toothless! Toothless is an angel on Earth and I love him to bits. He does not go around burning people to a crisp or killing little girls. The dragons in GOT have been called weapons of mass destruction not just by GRRM but by the Ds themselves. I’m not sure trying to parallel Hiccup with Jon really works in the context in which Jon is basically riding an atomic bomb. 

Also, this is a momentous moment for Jon. He’s about to ride the dragon that was named after his father. You’d think they’d go for something more emotionally fraught and majestic but no. We’re playing this for laughs, guys. 

In a romantic context, this scene is also deeply frustrating. Because just like in every other J0nereys scene, the Ds have taken a trusted trope (a couple bonding over one of them teaching the other something) and completely wrecked it. 

D*ny does encourage Jon to ride the dragon. It’s actually one of their cuter moments, with Jon being awkward and unsure and D*ny being cocky:

Jon: I don’t know how to ride a dragon. 

D*ny: Nobody does. Until they ride a dragon.  

Jon: What if he doesn’t want me to? 

D*ny: Then I’ve enjoyed your company, Jon Snow. 

The banter is cute ... for about 10 seconds. Until Jon is hoisted into the air, it becomes clear D*ny has no intention of teaching him anything and Jon is flinging around, inches away from being thrown off the dragon and into the abyss of death. Then it becomes less cute. 

Jon eventually lands, somewhere, next to a waterfall that has magically appeared in what is Siberian tundra because ... reasons. 

Despite looking like he was in some kind of never ending nightmare through out the ride, Jon ends the exercise with: 

Jon: You’ve completely ruined horses for me. 

No worries, Jon. She’s also about to ruin your sex life and your will to live so there’s a lot to look forward to. 

In the behind the scenes footage, the Ds said that this is the place where Jon used to hunt as a child and he decides to show it to D*ny. You’d think this kind of romantic motivation would somehow find its way into the actual dialogue in the scene but no ...

Instead we get this generic line that is not really given any kind of context:  

D*ny: We could stay 1000 years. No one would find us. 

The interesting thing about this scene is that Jon has shared a similar moment with someone in the past that gave off the whole “1000 years” feel. Let’s have a look:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XQ1eTpPL6c

Unfortunately, I can’t embed the scene here but this is Jon/Ygritte atop the wall. There are no lines of dialogue in the whole scene. However, with Ygritte, Jon initiates contact and actually leads her to the other side of the Wall, to show her the expanse of the 7 kingdoms, something Ygritte has never seen. All of it is filmed just as the sun sets around the two kissing, with music swelling in the background. It’s all very clearly romance coded. 

So how does Jon respond to D*ny echoing the same kind of feeling: 

Jon: We’d be pretty old. 

That Jon Snow, huh? He really has a way with the ladies. 

They do kiss in this scene so that’s something but it’s at D*ny’s invitation: 

Jon: It’s cold up here for a Southern girl. 

D*ny: So keep your queen warm. 

They’ve shared 2 one on one scenes in this episode and D*ny felt the need to remind him she’s the queen in both of them. I guess titles aren’t important when it comes to Jon. When it’s D*ny’s titles, they are very, very important. 

You know what they say: All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. 

And because this scene wasn’t odd or awkward enough already, it ends with this: 

Many people have speculated on what Jon’s thought process is during this stare down. Most have come to the conclusion that Jon is thinking about how to get D*ny’s “kids” to like him. 

Except that any romantic kiss where one partner opens their eyes mid-kiss, is a a huge red flag that the person in question isn’t actually into it. So I’m thinking he’s inwardly screaming: The moron just handed me a dragon on a silver platter! Let’s get this dance started!

*thanks for reading, guys! We will reconvene tomorrow for the Jonsa edition of this episode

*none of the artwork in the meta is mine; thank you to all the content creators! 

[the-blomster]

Jello Biafra VS The Forces of Corruption 23

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and all relation to real individuals is done purely for parody purposes. I am not associated with any of the people named in this work of fiction and this is not intended to reflect negatively upon anyone.

Chapter 23: Jello Runs for President Part 4

We find Jello facing his oppressor. Formerly a friend, Prince would offer Jello no help in this fight. They were nothing but enemies now. Prince’s eyes glowed a violent red.

“Come on Jello!” Prince shouted, “Attack me already!”

“I will not do that,” Jello explained, “I will only attack if it is in self defense.”

Prince scoffed. “You’re just afraid to attack me aren’t you? You still think of us as friends! How sad, how deplorable!”

“Is there anything so wrong with that? Is it wrong for me to hope that there can be a peaceful solution? To aspire to a future where punk rock can live in harmony with the rest of society?”

“Hope and aspirations are for men who are dead and forgotten! And soon you will be one of those men!”

“That is where you are wrong Prince!” Jello shouted. “You have been accepted by the masses. You have been indoctrinated into consciousness of society, and therefore you will be remembered as nothing but another worn out brick in the wall.”

“Those will be your last words Jello!” Prince shouted back, “And sadly for you, no one will remember them!” Prince placed both of his hands out in front of himself, keeping them close to one another. A blue light began forming on Prince’s palms. Jello stood opposite of Prince, confused but still in a defensive position. The blue light grew to roughly the size of a bowling ball before a beam shot out of Prince’s hands. The laser got within a few inches of Jello, but luckily he managed to leap several dozen feet into the air, leaving only the bottom of his shoes mildly singed. The wall behind Jello; however, did not fare so well. A large hole had been melted into it. The section of the wall had simply dissipated like ice on a hot summer day. What remained of the wall was nothing but steam.

Jello landed on two feet, but was awestruck at what Prince had made of that poor, innocent wall. But Jello’s awe would not last forever, because it was interrupted by the sound of Prince’s footsteps. Prince ran at Jello with lightning fast speed. Prince lifted his fist into, ready to attack, but Jello dodge rolled off the stage and into the awestruck crowd. Prince’s fist collided with the stage, destroying it instantly and leaving a crater with a 40 foot radius in its place. Prince’s attack created a 9.3 magnitude earthquake that knocked Jello and his fans to there feet and causing stage lights to cascade from the ceiling.

With the stage destroyed, the only thing protecting Jello’s fans from Prince’s unfiltered rage was Jello himself. Prince went in for another punch, but this time Jello couldn’t dodge it, otherwise it would hit his fans. As the punch landed, time seemed to stop. Jello’s face could be seen contorting in all sorts of strange ways before time once again returned to normal and Jello flew backwards, knocking his fans down like bowling pins, and sending his crashing face first into the wall.

Jello pushed himself up off of the wall, of which he had been embedded several feet into. He stood triumphantly on his two feet. He pointed directly at Prince and said, “Prince, you can hurt me. You can hurt me all you want. You can try to turn me into a slave to society, but don’t you dare hurt my potential voters!” Jello snapped his fingers. A blast of air so powerful was emitted from Jello’s fingers that Prince collided with the wall opposite of Jello. Prince crashed against the wall but bounce off of it, sending him crashing face first into the ground.

Prince, defeated and out of energy looked up to see Jello standing over him. A menacing shadow formed over Jello’s eyes. “Please!” Prince begged. “Don’t kill me!”

Jello scoffed. “Heh, do you think I’d sink that low? Do you think I would sink as low as the likes of you? I would never hit somebody while they’re down. The fact that you think I would even consider it is despicable. I’ll tell you this though, if I ever have the displeasure of seeing you again, I won’t go easy on you.”

Jello returned to his apartment where he closely watched the election results. Jello watched the votes for both George W. Bush and Al Gore slowly count up. Jello wasn’t even close to them. It would take Jello years of training if he wanted to run again in the next election. But Jello wasn’t concerned about that right now. Jello wanted to know, would Bush win, and still be an overall pretty bad president, or would Al Gore win, and allow his wife Tipper Gore and the PMRC to suppress punk rock permanently. The final results were in. Jello earned 2,882,955 votes, Bush earned 50,456,002 votes, and Al Gore earned… 50,999,897 votes. Jello sighed. It seemed as though punk rock was over for good. But then, CNN’s very own Wolf Blitzer came on the TV. “It seems as though George Bush has won.” Jello was so shocked that he grabbed his TV. Then Jello realized, that the people’s vote didn’t actually matter, and that only the votes of the electoral college mattered. Thank god for corrupt political systems and faux democracy! Now the US government would just be incredibly shitty instead of oppressively shitty! And most important of all, punk rock was saved!

And here is were we leave Jello, with a small glimmer of hope for the future! What will Jello do to secure the safety of punk rock in the future?  What will Jello do now that he is independent from the NMCDF? Find out in the next chapter of Jello Biafra VS the Forces of Corruption!

[surfersofbole]

Going to Fall: What will you do?

This is the fifth installment in my “Going to Fall” series, which is based on Bob Dylan’s “A Hard Rain’s a-Gonna Fall.”

What will you do?

Here, your father must now mention if God has seemed unjust, unkind, then, have you paid him no attention? Our sins are many, of great kinds; punishment ‘s held with retention

not unlike the water vapor within the clouds above the world. All the clouds won’t harm a scraper, but rain upon a cardboard home turns the walls into soaked paper.

I can sense your apprehension, and I can sense your broken pride. Do you have some great dissension? Well, now, just take your small asides to relieve any contention.

Some of us find things enlightening when we must live in heavy dark. Lightning rods control the frightening and brightening flash of the short night. Umbrellas keep th’ tensions tightening.

You would think there’d be prevention - that God himself would take the lead. God wants no Earthly dimension and so he goes ahead, concedes rain must fall without suspension.

What will you do, my blue-eyed son? Somethings are hard to answer. Some… What will you do, darling young one? Think you that I should know this thing? Morning comes now with the bright sun.

Going back out before the rain starts falling

I wake up scared as hell that things are going wrong. Why? I was not quite sure of what was going on. My mind was in a cell. I lie down quietly. The motionless allure of a ceiling, empty...

A day begins anew. Will I ever arise? A thunder I have heard; the skies will be disguised. The rainclouds now accrue. I’m scared to leave this place; though, maybe I’m absurd, and I should go/make haste.

I’ll walk the beaten path; I know it will be short. All the small excursions other souls couldn’t afford... I'll face the wanton wrath because the world will fear I am leading an incursion with my mouth that all’ll hear.

The depths of the deepest, black forest

Electrified air climbs to clustered cotton fluff; screams turn to grumbles.

Some schwarzwald sunshine prawns prowl blister-black water - ice of a night sky.

Sharp whistles whittle brittle branch and bark, bitter for the burning blight.

Hollow trees topple. Then, forests from dying flames born of detritus.

The people are many, their hands are all empty

Xerotic mouths agape, facade of night entreats a dreamer thirsting not the light, "neglect a cleanly state and state that you ordain the rain to fall as it is due."

Disguising no intentions with delight, obsessed with obfuscating appetite, come cumulating nimbus clouds above haranguing with each lightning strike thereof.

In time, hard rains again will lift the plight and everyone will be an acolyte lest all the clouds they see move out of sight.

The pellets of poison flooding their waters

(The vending machine hums softly. A whirring and some clinking kick off a habit, and I press a button. A quarter? I try again. In the mechanism, it moves. Thunk. Mother's approval.)

Someone's swimming in the pool.

Crystalline medium with waving surface dances the light upon the ceiling.

Diving at the deep, he sinks into the bottom for the longest moment until he is diluted by the dark.

I sit beside the edge, staring.

No manacles bind us to the station we submit.

Someone's swimming in the pool, but I've a job to do. "Refill the canister with two chlorine tablets. Lock up and leave."

The home in the valley meets the damp, dirty prison

I walk to where the sidewalk ends en masse, past the concrete's blend with grass and the footstep-muddled pastures.

I found the last spot God had cried: an oasis that has dried in the desert of this life.

The rain is not the coldest where the trees have met the forest and the mountain meets the valley.

The executioner’s face, always well hidden

At mass, the priest, in his white, polyester robes, stood among pink roses.

"I say, precious Lord, look upon us and see not injustice; instead, find hope."

Among the heightened exaltations of the chorus, water came down upon us.

Back when crimes against the Lord and his people were punishable, men like Christ and Beckett, with their deaths, made leaders grovel.

King, bearing a new weight, shouldered a poor people's campaign; in his memory, we hid this struggle. In this new poor people's campaign, shall hidden faces make another man infamous?

"Do this in memory of me."

The word of the Lord makes requisite that we do things in memory of others that perhaps, through us, they could live on. Such a cause as theirs is worth perpetuating; such a love as theirs is the great communion.

"Mass has ended. You may go in peace"

Hunger is ugly, souls are forgotten

Oysters - pried apart with pearls squeezed from their soft flesh - are discarded shells that cleansed murky waterways. Layered nacre anchors banks.

Black is the color, none is the number

For the briefest second, worlds are colorful and palm fronds, like percussion sections, fill the wind with scratching sound. As raindrops themselves drive through darkness into broken asphalt, thunder-crash!                        The crack in night, it vanished while a youth in leather shoes and wetting socks went running to a covered walkway. Hole-filled pockets bore some grimed receipts, old notes, worn cards, and damaged pictures in a wallet that was drawn up. She inserted plastic; as the m'chine slow- processed four fast digits, vehicles blurred past and disappear until, at last, a menu let her check the balance. Black in text, a zero showed up. Buzzing lights then flickered; rain felt bitter/harder.

Tell it, think it, speak it, breathe it

False flags on steel poles; you find their real goals cause hard heads to feel soles as reeled votes steal polls. Loss is a hand that's doled to thoughtless card holders; well oiled, pristine political machines need propaganda's grist cleaned and shoveled on the screens. Greed - democracy's splotch - fills you with the scotch blues; when the night is botched, sit back up to watch news. Feel cold and say burr under a cedar tree, or passover seder with Sam Seder, see his angered, sabered tongue work hard/labor long; hundreds of lungfuls from racist uncles tapered off. Like flaming fungal masses on crumpled paper, scoffed arguments hindered turn to cinder; try not to join the splintered dense blocks of tinder, dry rot. "Freedom isn't free, son..." some person breathes on as a prison's breeze comes; truth in neon: "Freedom isn't free, and it isn't freedom." Jaime Peck 'n' Michael Brooks wait with bridled facts on homicidal cops and Congress' idled acts. The left's best anchors, hosts of the Majority Report, unveil the languor of neofascist authority.

Reflect from the mountain so all souls can see it

Guinness in my system at a Regal cinema; someone said, "I miss him." Liquor mixed with cinnamon makes my throat feel dry; is that why I'm stifled? "On everyone's behalf, when we heard you laughing at Dave Rubin's gaffes, all our sides were halfing." Why am I nervous before the final curtain? "He did the world a service, that I say with certainty." "I want to drink, alright, rather than think all night; pour shots until bar fight hour is a starlight tour." Drink my Tennessee whiskey and Hennessy briskly in backgrounds of dim-lit rooms. As this dim-wit reflects, chances look slim; the future's a grim skit. Pillow to my head and sink in like lead, a stone carelessly embedded in the river bed alone.

Stand on the ocean until I start sinking

When one recollects that the keystone oft sank in the sand before standing aloft among clouds on a mountain so solid of faith and devotion, it's then that a false step compels men, "Recover!" I noticed thrombosis had felled the calm warrior, that saint among saints that is Archangel Michael; the champion of men and proponent of justice inspires l'avant-garde to claim in it's crawling a victory not pyrrhic but won with empiric- al knowledge against an- tithetical sirens that draw men towards hatred with bigotry, envy, and greed. So, surrender your voice, but renounce not your thoughts, and remember the message borne by a colossus that called out to Lazarus, "Come forth."

Know my song well before I start singing

Cantos coming soon to a year near you!

Notes

This is the order in which the poems were written: 2, 1, 4, 3, 6, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. I plan for poem 13 to be a series of cantos based on my time walking through a park in my home town.

What will you do?

This poem was written months ago while I was still a Tumblr poet and is the introduction to the final section of the Going to Fall collection of poems I've written. The next poem will be posted when I figure out where I saved it.

The depths of the deepest, black forest

I thought I had a poem for this portion of the final section of my "Going to Fall" poetry collection, but I couldn't find it. Luckily, the haiku challenge issued for November prompted me to write this in place of the imagined poem.

The people are many, their hands are all empty

There were two prompts for this poem. The first is an obscure words poetry contest that I volunteered myself, in which I received the prompt "Xenodochial" (which means hospitable or kind to strangers). The second was from a challenge I made [for] myself [...] I had been stuck on this particular portion for months now, so I'm glad to have something appropriate and fitting.

The pellets of poison flooding their waters

Perhaps I put too much thought into a story about a guy closing up after a hallucination. The stuff in the parenthesis was typed last, but I only put it in because I could find no better way to add that the narrator is thirsty. I was going to write a twelve poem collection on this prompt, based on monthly news stories of people making the world a worse place, but the poems were scrapped. I do hope to revisit the idea under a different title.Perhaps I put too much thought into a story about a guy closing up after a hallucination. The stuff in the parenthesis was typed last, but I only put it in because I could find no better way to add that the narrator is thirsty. I was going to write a twelve poem collection on this prompt, based on monthly news stories of people making the world a worse place, but the poems were scrapped. I do hope to revisit the idea under a different title.

The home in the in the valley meets the damp dirty prison

I had the first two lines stuck in my head for a couple of days. This is the result.

Hunger is ugly, souls are forgotten

This is just a poem comparing oysters and people.

Black is the color, none is the number

October 11, 2020 corrections: *line 4 - "And" -> "As" *line 7 - "." -> "," *line 8 - "Thunder-crash!" -> "thunder-crash!" and line split. *lines 13-16 - "Hole-filled pockets - dirty, wet - hold paper/plastic cards and damaged pictures in a wallet. It is" replaced with current version. *lines 18-21 - "plastic; as the machine processed four fast digits, vehicles dove on past and then they disappeared. At" replaced with current version.

Three Poems for the Great Progressive

This poem came together from the following stanza that I spit out a couple of nights ago: Passover seder with Sam Seder under my cedar tree. Say burr, see his sabered tongue labor long. Hundred lungful's hinder cindered minds. The tinder finds a racist uncle's baseless tongueful like dry rot: the fungal waste is erased from space. Try not It includes one line I wrote a few years ago: "I drink my Tennessee whiskey and Hennessy briskly." The poem is basically about listening to the news all the time because you're sick, feeling restless, going out to the movies and bars, and finally going to sleep. July 20, 2020 update: Completed in honor of Michael Brooks. Also, I wrote the following poem soon after I heard the news, but did not put the time into it that I would have liked. The ground is dry and leaves grow thin. When the new moon is out the fuses trip, the grid's offline, and the world stands too still, I look to the sky as the gold flecks fly; ember is ash. A chill climbs up my spine; stomach can't dip lower. I cannot scout a star within the restless sky. August 11, 2020 update: I saw a contest early morning and wrote the first stanza of the third poem. The second stanza was written after I returned from work. The prompt was the first line from the Beatles' "A Day in the Life".

NOTE: This is the title for “Tell it, think it, speak it, breathe it,” “Reflect from the mountain so all souls can see it,” and “Stand on the ocean until I start sinking.”

[megacircuit9universe]

The Timers That Tick

FRI APR 3 2020

The pandemic has been going on here in America now for three or four weeks... ramping up all the time... all the smart states have been on lockdown for a while... people are starting to wear masks when out in public... everybody’s washing their hands like crazy... and the economy is so far into the shitter... so much further than 2008.

For a minute there, I was worried that Trump might actually rise to the occasion, do everything that needed to be done, like order corporations to start producing ventilators, and order a national stay at home order... get on top of the situation and then, come November... win in a landslide, because he’s the new GW Bush, and this is his 911.

He’s refusing to order manufacturers to switch over to making PPE and ventilators... cuz that’s not free market economics.

He’s refusing to order a national lockdown... cuz that’s a violation of State’s rights.

He’s getting bitchy with States like New York who are despirately calling on the Federal government to help them... cuz that makes him look bad.

He’s refusing to wear a mask in public... cuz that’s not a cool look for a President.

Meanwhile the death toll is climbing exponentially higher every week, and the economy... oh baby, the economy!..  is going straight to hell.  In all metrics by which the health of the economy is measured.... unemployment, market activity, GDP, what have you... this is already rivaling the Great Depression... and we’re only a few weeks into the shut downs of non essential businesses.

No theaters, sporting events, bars, festivals... or even dining out, or even church services.  No late night TV shows.  No schools or colleges.  No RETAIL SHOPPING MALLS!  :O

The voting population has been divided into two new groups... the essentials and the non essentials. 

The non essentials are stuck at home, for the next many months, trying to stay safe and prevent the spread of the virus, but also... already experiencing high levels of cabin fever and, in many cases... going broke with zero income, and little savings or credit.  They are not happy.

The essentials, on the other hand, include many front line workers, from utility workers, and distribution workers, to delivery people, supermarket stockers and checkers, and health care workers.  And they’re being asked now to put their lives in danger every day... to keep getting their own paychecks... with shortages on PPE like gloves, masks, and sani-wipes.  They are also not happy.

I can’t imagine the super elite rich assholes of the planet are very happy either, watching their stocks become worthless, and profits dwindle to nothing, while lending rates are at zero percent, and property values are poised to crash again worse than they did in 2007, because nobody can pay their mortgages, or even their rents, much less look to buy any new real estate.

So... for Trump to be acting like such a sensitive little bitch right now, refusing to act, but also bristling at any hint that he’s not doing a perfect job... is not going over well with anybody, on any rung of the social ladder, from the very bottom, to the tippy top.

The problem here, remains that Joe Biden... has been almost completely absent for this entire crisis, and the few spots he’s done on TV... have been back to dementia Joe who clearly has no grip on what’s going down right now.

Luckily... all the Democratic primaries which were scheduled to happen after that Super Tuesday with Illinois, Florida, etc... that took place just as this crisis was getting serious (Illinois went into lock down just days before it) have been postponed.

So now, we’re in a weird primary limbo, where Bernie is still in the race, and the DNC can’t dispose of him, given how the landscape has changed... even if they still despise him.

It’s difficult to foresee how exactly any of this will play out, because the timers on everything in play... the pandemic, the conventions, and the general elections, all have several months left on their individual clocks.

Still, we can try to break down what *should* happen, if there were any logic and reason left to be found at the roots of this once healthy democracy, in this once functional post WW2 world...

SARS-CoV-2, the current contagion plaguing Earth, will continue to be a high level threat until mid 2021... when we finally have a vaccine.  Between now and then, outbreaks might wane, and we might get a breather, but social distancing has to stay in effect to mitigate the next wave, bound to strike late next fall.

This means the economy, in turn, is not bouncing back any time soon... certainly not in October and November, when the generals are to be held. 

It also means that there will be, best case, a “post apocalyptic” time period after the vaccine arrives... in which the whole world just has to slowly recover... which will take several years.

Thus, the next President of the United States, not only has to see us through the extremely difficult period until there is a vaccine... but also has to lead us back to economic prosperity.

There are only three men in the running for that world leadership role and... we all know two of them, Trump and Biden both, are not up to the task.  Meanwhile, Sanders, seems to have been born for exactly this moment.

So, from that perspective, it’s a no brainer that Sanders will be our next president... but the powers that be, on both sides... Republican and Democratic, will fight that eventuality tooth and nail.

That’s about all I’ve got to say about it all tonight.

I’m going to bed.

[lady-alayne]

Game of Thrones: An Angry Recap

Season 7 Episode 6: Beyond the Wall

Winterfell:

Sigh. Okay. Let's do this.

Arya and Sansa's relationship is all over the place. After a heartfelt reunion where it seems the old tension between the sisters had been set aside, Arya became more and more paranoid of everyone and everything, resulting in the lurking bonanza last episode where it seems Arya got royally littlefingered.

Because just as Petyr planned (presumably), Arya jumped to all the wrong conclusions about the letter Sansa was forced to write to her brother, urging him to bend the knee to Joffrey. “Why didn't you just murder everyone instead, like I would have?” she snaps at her sister. “This is what this show is about! Violence begets violence, and it's awesome! No wonder everyone on reddit hates you.” Ah, sisterly love.

It breaks my heart that GRRM wrote the Stark sisters as polar opposites, but equally strong. Arya is the more traditional Strong Female Character(TM), portraying stereotypically male traits: She wants to learn how to fight, she has a temper, is reckless, and she solves her problems with violence rather than words. Sansa, on the other hand, embraces her femininity. And that's wonderful. She navigates through the snake pit of King's Landing because she is polite, well-trained, and knows when to shut up and swallow her anger and then attack later out of a position of power. Although different, the sisters are both strong, resilient, and grow more and more powerful over the course of the series. GRRM has done a beautiful job portraying women as real people with unique characters.

Enter D&D! While doing some pseudo-research for their characters, biding their time until they ran out of books so they can make up their own shit, they decided to A) dumb Arya and Sansa down to have “invincible killer robot whose trauma made her want to murder everyone” and “stupid girl who is stupid and everyone takes advantage of” and then to B) PIT THESE CHARACTERS AGAINST EACH OTHER IN THE MOST FORCED CONFLICT IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION.

Are we really supposed to believe that single letter poses such a threat??? To make this conflict work, Arya had to be:

stupid enough to think Sansa meant what she wrote

evil enough to blackmail Sansa with it

paranoid enough to think Sansa has ulterior motives and wants to usurp Jon or whatever (can you usurp something that is RIGHTFULLY YOURS?)

Sansa had to be

stupid enough to believe that letter poses a threat—as if the Northern lords wouldn't immediately know Sansa wrote what Cersei told her to write

evil enough to send Brienne away, a woman in the perfect position to mediate and de-escalate

paranoid enough to break into Arya's chambers and try to steal the letter back

And all just so D&D can create random conflict out of thin air because, uh, good television.

Also at Winterfell, we get out weekly dose of two minutes Petyr Baelish screentime. (And it's not enough. It's never enough.) It looks like Sansa and Petyr are friends again and she asks him for his council (after telling him to go away, telling him she's smarter than him, and gloomily talking about what he wants, but who cares about characterization in this show? The plot demands that Sansa and Petyr speak.) Petyr helpfully suggests to have Brienne talk to the girls, as she has an invested interest in those two being on the same side, which makes Sansa send Brienne away. Logic(TM)!

As mentioned above, Sansa then sneaks into Arya's chambers to steal the letter back from her, and finds Arya's work clothes under the bed. To dial up the creepy, Arya then appears and... threatens to kill Sansa so she can know how it feels to wear beautiful dresses??? Arya, YOU COULD HAVE WORN ALL THE BEAUTIFUL DRESSES, but you WANTED TO BE A KNIGHT INSTEAD. Before stabbing her sister, Arya changes her mind/reveals she was bluffing (who can tell with this demon child), and gives Sansa Littlefinger's dagger because... reasons. Oh boy, that dagger is going places! Tune in next week to see Sansa give the dagger to Gilly's four year old baby when Sam and family turn up in Winterfell on their way back to castle black! And stay tuned for season 8, where we find out THE DAGGER IS AZOR AHAI!

Beyond the Wall:

Jon, Tormund, Jorah, Gendry, the Brotherhood Without Banners, and a few nameless extras to be killed off as needed hike through a blizzard during Operation Catch a Wight, and we are immediately treated to a rape joke! This time Tormund jokes about raping Jon because “fucking is best to stay warm.” It's funny, because it's two men! Haha, gay! Like Loras! Lol!

But Jon is not just the butt of the joke (I couldn't resist), we are also reminded once again that he's super nice and honorable, much like his “father,” and so he offers Jorah Longclaw back. But Jorah declines, because he's also super honorable and a good guy(TM). I was rooting for him to take the sword and stab Jon with it while yelling “I'm getting rid of the competition! Khaleesi, here I come!!!” But, oh well, when D&D fanservice they somehow never take my wishes into account.  Wait while I send them a raven and complain.

My raven seems to have reach them, because a little later the Hound insists he does not like gingers, and all the SanSan shippers break into crisis mode while I laugh. Heehee. Then we have the incredible honor and privilege to witness a dialogue that includes the words “dick,” “cock,” and “pussy” within what feels like 0.000001 seconds. Finally, proof of GoT's level of sophistication that everyone is talking about. But... Tormund x Brienne, so yay!

The shipping does not last long, because out of nowhere ZOMBIE ICE BEAR ATTACK!!! Run for your lives!!! We watch with bated breath while the bear threatens to kill our beloved heroes and hope he will kill one of the suspiciously random background extras instead, but then we realize we are already dead inside when it comes to this show, so we would not care either way. By the way, is anyone else reminded of Star Wars whenever the Brotherhood Without Banners switch on their fire swords?

But killer zombie bears are not the only threat beyond the wall, and soon the men meet a white walker taking his pack of wights out for a walk. Now I feel safe enough to scream again. THE WIGHTS ARE WEARING HOODS WHILE THE MEN ARE NOT. THE UNDEAD PEOPLE ARE WEARING PROTECTIVE HEADWEAR WHILE THE LIVING PERSONS ARE NOT. THIS SHOW MAKES NO SENSE. NO SENSE. UGH!!!!

Because this is Operation Catch a Wight, the men decide to, you know, catch a wight, and set a trap for some reason. I guess just attacking their enemy without the enemy knowing they were even there would not be sneaky enough! Luckily, the dragonglass proves potent, and Jon successfully makes the white walker burst into a billion pieces AND re-deads the un-dead! DOUBLE KILL! …... except for one wight, who is still undead for practicality and thus immediately captured. Lucky!

The team soon realizes their chances are dire at best, and decide to send Gendry back to Eastwatch so he can send a raven to Daenerys. GENDRY. WITHOUT ANY WEAPONS. ALONE. THROUGH A BLIZZARD. While Gendry runs of to his certain death—who would survive a marathon through a snowstorm?— Jon & Friends also run to their certain death, as they are suddenly attacked by an army of thousands of wights. But—oh joy!—there's a lake there! And the ice on the lake is super special and only breaks AFTER ALL THE IMPORTANT CHARACTERS have already passed! But then it drags all the wights, plus one nameless extra for supposed shock value, down to their icy (re-)deaths, and our heroes manage to escape on a strategically placed isle in the middle of the lake to wait for their rescue.

Dragonstone:

Meanwhile, Dany and Tyrion are having some girl talk because Missandei seems to be MIA. After establishing that Jon is, like, super in love with Dany, you guys, and of course Tyrion knows that because he's SO SMART!!!, Tyrion broaches the topic of succession and SUGGESTS IMPLEMENTING A DEMOCRACY. I mean... yeah, Democracies are nice like 94% of the time, unless you elect someone like Donald Trump Euron Greyjoy. But it just gets SO FUCKING BORING how Tyion is always so super duper good and even his mistakes just make him more human and more lovable, isn't Tyrion just the awesomest, hooray hooray, all hail the best character in the history of the universe.

After what seems like 2 minute flight time, the raven from Eastwatch arrives and delivers Jon's cry for help. The men are trapped in the wilderness, under attack, and in dire need of immediate rescue! Daenerys wastes no time leaping into action. “I have to fly North immediately to rescue the guy I have a lady boner for, the guy who has a sad boner for me, the guy who knows how to turn dragon glass into weapons, the grumpy fan favorite, and their friends... As soon as my seamstress has finished my new winter coat! What fur should I use? This one matches my eyes, but this one goes better with my skin tone!”

Back beyond the wall:

It seems as if Dany's seamstress is really fast, because Dany makes it to the little isle at the perfect moment—Thoros has just died for shock value (and let's face it, nobody cared about Thoros anyway), and the wights have just discovered that the lake has frozen again, and are about to attack, when—DRAGONS!!! Dany swoops in and saves the day. Everyone climbs aboard Drogon, EXCEPT FOR JON, who runs off on a one man “Fighting my way through thousands of wights to kill the Night's King while he's surrounded by his four friends who are all expecting me” mission. Naturally, he does not get far and soon joins nameless extra in the icy depths below. RIP Jon, RIP.

To make matters worse, the Night's King turns out to be an insanely accurate spear thrower, and pierces Viserion's heart. Now that was a death for shock value! The mighty dragon plunges out of the sky, and Dany watches him motionless. I suppose she was just shocked, but maybe that was also Emilia Clarke's inability to act.

Drogon and his human load then get the hell out of there, and—OH GOD!!! JON IS NOT DEAD!!! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT???? HE'S ALIVE!!!!

And then IT'S BENJEN EX MACHINA!!! AND HE SAVES JON!!! AND HE PUTS HIM ON A HORSE!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! AND JON SNOW IS SAVED!!!

Dany, it turns out, is very relieved about that, and immediately rushes to his side while he's lying in bed naked, recovering from almost freezing to death. Because that's how you get warm—you go to a somewhat warmer room and take off all your clothes. Then, when you freeze, you realize the cold outside was not so bad in comparison, so your body heals itself. Science(TM)!

[arielsojourner]

Vader Strikes Back - Part the Fourth

Not beta read/really rough/not really proof read/plot holes and OUT of order.  Also spoilers for the original first story in AO3 Back From the Future: Episode VI The Clone Wars.  Check the tag #vader strikes back on my page for the other parts to this mess/fic outline. Again I value feedback and ideas if you have any. 

  *

Fives wanted to move. His back itched. The view of the medical quarters ceiling  grew boring after about 20 minutes when he was finally allowed to lie face up after days on his belly. Quick was weaning him off the good drugs but he couldn’t just sleep the day away. At this angle he couldn’t do anything. He wanted to get out of bed and do something.

But he was lucky that his spine was still intact, he was lucky to be alive.

(A year ago, perhaps two, an injury like this would have meant decommissioning. Now resources were used to keep him alive, heal him. He was very lucky. He knew that.)

Others hadn’t been so lucky.

Fives closed his eyes and clenched his fists. The casualties reports of clones fighting clones was sickening, there were Jedi dead in the field at the hands of their own troopers. And to top it all off, his teacher was dead. So many dead and he was stuck in this prone position for at least another week before he’d be allowed to start physical therapy. And even when he was back on his feet, who would teach him and his brothers now?

Yes, the Sith Master had been defeated. Yes, the damn chip was out of his head. Yes, he had the Force and medical treatment and the war was over and he should be grateful. He should be happy that he was alive but all he was was frustrated and pissed off and worried.

If only he could get up and do something productive!  If only he could be of some use!

“What do you think you’re doing?” Quick barked.

Fives turned his head to see which patient had earned his ire this time. (He didn’t dare raise his head under threat of being strapped down for the duration of his convalescence.) He needn’t have actually looked. He could guess who it was.

“I’m better, I don’t need to be here!” Hardcase argued even as he hopped back over to his bed, thwarted in his most recent escape attempt.

Quick shoved him down and checked the bacta patch over his leg. “You nearly bled to death, you moron. We’ve had to ration the bacta with all the injuries. It isn’t healed yet. You put pressure on it now the wound could reopen and you could die!”

“Aw, c’mon. It wasn’t as bad as all that,” he protested trying to bat the medic’s hands away.

“This is the third time today. And you didn’t even bother to steal a hoverchair this time! Do I need to strap you down? Because I will!”

“Look, Quick, I’ve got stuff to do I can’t do in here,” Hardcase wheedled. “It’s been weeks.”

“And just what can’t wait until you’re not at risk of losing your leg or your life, trooper?” The medic demanded, hands on his hips.

“Have you been watching the holonet? Have you heard what they’re saying about Luke and Vader? We need to be doing something to help!”

“What?! What’ve they been saying?” Fives interrupted, raising his voice to be heard. “Hardcase?” he asked worriedly.

“No holonet in here; my patients must all rest,” Quick insisted firmly.

“They’re saying that Vader’s trying to take over the galaxy or something, that Palpatine was his master. They’re saying Luke was helping,” Hardcase said hotly. “It’s total kriffing banthashit and someone needs to set the record straight. They were heroes! We were all heroes!”

“Who’s saying it?” Fives asked urgently, forgetting himself for a moment and trying to sit up only for all the monitors around him to start beeping warningly. “Why would they–?” he began, in turns furious and horrified.

“Lay down, trooper!” Quick yelled rushing over to his bed.

“There’s some new report out,” Mixer said from the other side of the ward. “Uni told me about it when he stopped by.  They say the Order’s going to hunt down Vader for going after Palpatine and his allies. They say that Luke wasn’t even a Jedi Knight.”

“Banthashit,” Hardcase snarls. “What’d I tell you, total kriffing banthashit! We need to do something. Fives, Fives we need to–!”

“And what exactly are you going to do about it, may I ask?” Quick asked. “Don’t you think Captain Rex already knows?”

“Luke was our teacher. He was our Commander,” Fives said. “He and Vader came and killed Krell. They got the chips out of our heads and healed us. They gave us all our freedom and ended the war. Hardcase is right. We’re troopers; even laid up there��s got to be something we can do to help.”

Mixer and the others who were awake voiced their loud agreement to Five’s words, some sitting up, others trying to stand. Quick turned around frantically, not sure where to go first to stop the full scale uprising of his patients.

“We could help with reports, or gather intel, or hells even go on the holonet and let everyone know the truth,” Fives continued, rallying the others, lifting his head slightly. “Where’s Echo, is he still on duty? Where’s Hack Squad? We need a holoscreen in here. We need to know what’s going on. We need to comm the 104th and the 212th. Where’s Vader? What–”

“All right! All right! I’ll get a holoscreen in here if and only if you all get back into your beds this second troopers, do you understand me?” Quick yelled, reaching the end of his rope. “Lie back down!”

Grumbling the men obeyed.

“Get a big one, we all need to be able to see and hear,” Hardcase insisted as he relaxed back down.  

“Don’t push your luck,” Quick retorted rushing over to check the clone’s blood pressure and tsking in dismay at what he saw.  “If you go to sleep now, I’ll see what I can do,” he added a bit softer.

“And let Chatterbox and Flare and the others to come by. We need to talk about what we’re going to do,” Fives called out.

“Sleep!”

*

Obi-Wan thought he had set the bottle down on the edge of the table, but it turns out he’d missed by quite a margin. He stared at the shattered glass and alcohol on the floor. It was such a waste of good liquor, he mourned. Luckily, the house had a fully stocked bar.

Grabbing his glass, Obi-Wan went to get another bottle, knocking over a chair and a decorative plant along the way.

“What is going on? Obi-Wan, are you hurt?” Padme entered the room in a rush. “I heard a noise and–“ She stopped in her tracks.

The Jedi Master turned slowly, bottle and glass now in hand. “Senator,” he said in greeting and then turned his attention to getting more drink into his glass.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“It looks like your getting drunk,” she answered, crossing her arms over her chest.

“No, Senator. I am getting black out drunk. I am getting so drunk I stop thinking for a few hours. So I stop seeing it, him, every time I blink.”

Her face grew wary. “You watched the vid.”

“I watched the vid,” he confirmed toasting her and then knocking back the entire glass. “What an excellent suggestion you had. I didn’t realize what a total and abject failure I was until I watched the vid. Thank you for that.” He wiped his mouth with his hand, nearly dropping the bottle. “I mean, there’s my Padawan all grown up in a life support suit slaying the Sith Master even after falling to the Dark side. And there’s baby Luke, all grown up and now quite dead after enduring the agony of Force lightning at the hands of the same Sith Master. The Sith Master incidentally who’s been ruling the Republic and controlling the Separatist, who was right under our nose, who nearly exterminated the entire Order using our own troops.”

“Obi-Wan …”

“I’m not sure how much worse I can screw up, Sennan– Padme. As a Jedi, as a General, as a teacher, as a friend. I let that monster near my Padawan, let him do gods know what to him since he was a boy, only a boy. I am quite sure,” he continued staggering and nearly tripping on the fallen chair as he came closer to her. “No one has failed as greatly as I have in the history of the Order.” He waved his hand to cut her off when she opened her mouth to interrupt. “No, no really. Jedi have lost students before, yes. My own Master lost a student. Xanatos. Always trying to kill me. But to kriff up so badly that your Fallen Sith Lord student comes back in time to fix things, now that’s a new low, deserving of a place of honor in the Archives.”

Padme grabbed hold of the bottle and the glass and yanked them out of Obi-Wan’s hands. “Enough of this. I know you’re hurt and shocked, but–“

“I was going to talk to Anakin. I was going to talk to him but he’s in the nursery, sleeping on the floor. He did that sometimes in the beginning. He wasn’t used to the sleep couch. He was cold, so he’d make a nest in a corner of his room. I used to tell him off for hoarding blankets. I was such a bad Master.”  He stepped backward, reaching for the couch and finding it with one hand, flopped down on the cushions. “ I don’t want to lie to him anymore. I don’t want to tell him that the war is good, that the Order knows what its doing, that he’s doing good, and he needs to keep fighting and fighting and fighting. He’s very good a fighting and killing,” he said mournfully.

“Yes,” Padme agreed softly setting down the bottle and the glass. “Anakin’s very good at killing. All of the Jedi are.”

“You sound like Satine,” he says crossly. “Warriors can’t be peacekeepers. Soliders can only do one thing. If your only tool is a weapon, everyone looks like a target,” he parrots in a Mandalore accent.

“I can’t say I disagree. That was probably the plan all along. Sheev Palpatine was famous for such tactics when he was a Senator.”

“And he was in front of us the whole time. We saved his life a dozen times. He talked of democracy and we happily helped build his Sith Empire for him,” Obi-Wan spat. “He played the kindly old man while he dripped poison into my Padawan’s ear. I let him– I let him–“ He wiped one shaking hand over his face and breathed, trying to release his anger. “And he won. He won. Vader is proof of that. Force knows what they did … After. Killed everyone, I imagine.” He touched his throat, remembering the durasteel grip, the Forcestorm of hate and betrayal.

“Now that you know, what will you do?” Padme asked.

“Do?”

“Do you plan to tell the Jedi Order? Do you plan to lock Anakin up or kill him preemptively?”

“What? No! No, of course not! Anakin is not Vader!” he yelled defensively. “How can you say that?”

“Anakin was terrified to tell you of our marriage, of the babies. He believed you to be more loyal to the Order and the Council than him.” Obi-Wan sputtered at that but some part of him whispered that Anakin had every right to think that about him. “The war and constant fighting has taken a toll. He is suffering and in pain. Your Order teaches that those types of feelings aren’t allowed, that they lead to the Dark side, to somehow becoming evil like the flick of a switch. Knowing that in some other time and place he became Vader … I have a right to know what you plan to do to my husband.”

“Nothing! I plan to do nothing!” Obi-Wan tried to stand. “He’s my brother. I love him! I would never– I could never kill him! Never!”

Dark eyes watch him for a long moment.

“I promised him. I promised Anakin I would stay with him and help make things right. I meant it. Forget about the the Council and the war. I said I wanted to help and I will, Padme. Not because of the Code or the Order or-or some promise to my dying Master, but because I care for him and I don’t want to see him hurting, not anymore, not if I can help it. I’m going to help. I swear it.”

“And Vader?” Padme asked softly. “Will you help him too?”

“Vader?” Obi-Wan drew back in shock.

“He’s lost everyone and everything. His son … my son is dead. He will need our help.”

“I … he’s a Sith,” Obi-Wan tried to explain.

“And what, Sith can’t be redeemed? Sith can’t make new and better choices? Sith can’t save the galaxy and defeat evil? I don’t believe that,” she said sharply turning and looking away from him. “I don’t care what his name is now, he was once Anakin Skywalker. I can tell by what he’s done. There is good in him.”

“Padme, once a Jedi starts down the Dark path, their destiny is fixed and dominated by death and suffering.”

“He saved us all. He and Luke. And now, he’s alone.”

Obi-Wan swallowed hard. It went against everything he had been taught and believed his whole life. But then again, what he believed and was taught said that time travel was impossible and that Sith were incapable of good. Vader had already disproven both points.

And he was alone. Anakin never made good choices when he was left all alone.

It made him dizzy just thinking about it. But then again, it may be the alcohol.

“I will do what I can,” he said finally.

[justyouraveragempp]

looking forward to the fall (of capitalism)

I often describe myself, when asked about my political leaning, as “anti-capitalist” because to me, in a country where profits matter more than party, and certainly more than people, choosing a party or even a side seems unnecessary, even silly. What I didn’t realize, until having a mini-epiphany mid-conversation with a colleague, is that when I say “anti-capitalist” (some) people hear “anti-democracy” because the two, in the bleeding hearts of liberal and conservative Americans alike, are bound by the same mystical forces that have ensconced in us such joyful combinations as the Reese’s cup, Ben & Jerry, and “Billary.”

So what came first, capitalism or democracy? Technically, and as most everyone should know, democracy; the answer changes if we are speaking specifically of the U.S. though, in which case I would argue that at the birth of this nation we welcomed twins into this world. I’m not going to rehash all 241 years of U.S. history, but what I will say is that if the two systems were ever symbiotic, that point has long past (though I’d add that the benefits have only been available to cis straight Christian white men).

Capitalism is a parasitic threat to democracy. Let’s get the standard arguments over with: first, the free market is not free. The U.S. economic market is controlled by top Wall Street executives and behemoth companies like Wal-Mart and Amazon. Ever wonder why deodorant is sold without a box? If you’re a millennial like me, you a) probably never noticed this change because of your age, or b) are questioning whether you played a role in the violent death of the deodorant box. Luckily this one wasn’t our doing; it was Wal-Mart’s. Yes, that’s right: Wal-Mart wanted to save some money, and has enough monopsony power to make such demands. I’m not condemning the positive effects of the switch, but rather illustrating just one example of corporate America’s invisible strong arm. Want a more threatening example? Most elections are decided by money, not votes. Luckily, there has been resistance to big money in politics in the last few cycles, most notably in the 2016 Presidential election, but big, dark donors still determine many major decisions.

Okay, next argument: it is illogical to let “the law of supply and demand” govern our society. In a controlled market that offers only one good, such as labor, it is quite easy to find an equilibrium price/wage that satisfies everyone, that pays and employs just the right amount; no need for a price floor here! However, in the chaotic mess that is our market it simply doesn’t work that way. To continue with the labor example: numerous studies on the relationship between wage and unemployment show no conclusive relationship between the two. The prevailing argument is that if an employer can offer 100 jobs at $7.25/hour, an increase in the wage will reduce the number of available jobs while increasing the demand for jobs at the higher wage rate. What economists have found is that in many industries the opposite is true, that when we see gains in wages we see gains in employment. Not exactly easy to illustrate on a graph for 11th graders. Sorry.

But wages and labor are just one example; from a moral standpoint, consider price-gouging in the wake of a disaster like Hurricane Harvey. A recent article actually called for price-gouging because it is an efficient way of rationing scarce resources. In Texas, as in many other states and the District of Columbia, price gouging during disasters or emergencies is actually illegal, a regulation that true free market capitalists, like the author of the Forbes piece, would argue impedes the market achieving equilibrium; in such extreme cases though, equilibrium can look like $75 for a case of water bottles and $8 for a gallon of gas, goods that otherwise cost between $3-$5. On paper, that is equilibrium. But the root of the word also happens to be the root of the words equity and equality, other values many of us try to champion even under our oppressive economic system, and how is allowing anyone who’s lost their home and other important assets to pay $99 for a case of water exemplary those values? It’s not, but capitalism and basic economism give us an excuse to hide behind when what we want is to be greedy and selfish.

Oddly enough, neoliberal capitalism is exactly what’s created that need though, to distance ourselves from our neighbors and focus on amassing great personal wealth. This mentality is the 80s-era “pull yourself up by your bootstraps,” popularized by supply-side economists and Wall Street’s corporate raiders who themselves saw an opportunity to sell a false hope to the public while amassing all this wealth for themselves. The ideology has since torn apart communities like the one I work in, and has left many to internalize the notion that we are more valuable as individuals than as members of communities, that we are only as valuable as our hours worked outside of our homes.

Anyway, enough about this dysfunctional dystopia. I want to return to the original argument: capitalism is a parasitic threat to democracy. This system so champions taking from the poor and giving to the rich that it is what’s created the poor and the rich. It is what defines white bodies as more valuable than black and brown, men more valuable than women, our monetary gains more than our intrinsic growth and extrinsic contribution. Capitalism is about tearing us apart and letting us believe that we are either working or not working, the latter synonymous with laziness, disability, worthlessness. It is about celebrating culture when it’s on sale at Urban Outfitters and simultaneously terrorizing those we stole it from. It is about maintaining the oppression and supremacy that keeps everyone in place, that keeps black and brown and poor people from voting, that restricts decision-making power to those with the money to buy it, that beholds old white men as the prevailing rulers of this disaster. It eats away at our imagination and sends us barreling down tunnels of self-preservation and survival, no room for collective joy, art, leisure, pleasure, exploration.

I am anti-capitalist because I favor strong, fluid, active communities; self-exploration; free access to knowledge, art and artifact; failure in learning; representative representation; health and laughter; joyful advancement at one’s perfect pace; holistic and just healing; dynamic families; social change; the choice not to work free of guilt; the ability to exist, visit, worship, speak, change, create without fear; valuing work of all types and respect for time and trade; freedom over borders; the old, the present and the coming; nature, flora and fauna; space for nurturing and love.

There is a fear that without capitalism, we will lose individuality; in fact, we will gain it as we shed our individualism.