#And still nobody got vaxxed

[oonajaeadira]

Nothing like your SO's extended, vax-resistant family being just fine with the brother with a heinous cold walking around, talking in people's faces, helping with the food prep, coughing on the buffet....

I'm lookimg at my calendar for next week. Thank goodness I have nothing I can't be sick for, because i'm making room for it now.....

[batshit-auspol]

So a bit of background first for our international followers: Clive Palmer is one of Australia's many mining billionaires who like to meddle in our country's politics, and as such he is utterly despised by all of Australia.

Picture for context:

He is most commonly known online by the title "Fatty McFuckhead", (problematic as it may be) because he tried to sue a youtuber for $500,000 for calling him that - and he lost. So the name stuck.

Up until his most recent foray into parliament, the legally certified Fuckhead was best known for his batshit business ventures, such as attempting to build "The Titanic 2" (failed) and trying to build a dinosaur theme park (also failed, but at least nobody got eaten by a T-Rex in this one).

For a very long time Clive played the role of sugar daddy to Australia's largest conservative party, the ironically named Liberal Party, until they had a falling out in 2012 after Clive claimed there was too much money influencing politics (lol), at which point he started his own party, days after saying he totally quit and wasn't fired and he only left because he didn't want to be a distraction.

His initial run at parliament was actually kinda successful, with Palmer's group winning 4 seats, plus a member from the "Motoring Enthusiasts Party" joined them too after accidentally getting elected and not knowing what the fuck to do.

Despite this initial success however, Palmer's party (which ran on basically no platform other than "I'm rich") hit an iceberg (titanic 2 achieved) and seven elected state and federal politicians quit within the first year.

By the time the next federal election rolled around, only one Palmer party candidate was still running for re-election. The most successful of this group - Jaquie Lambie - quit to sit as an independant and is still in parliament today.

Here she is with a painting of herself strangling Clive (she sells signed copies of this)

And here the senator is posting about liking sausage:

Anyway, we're getting to the point: which is the yellow posters. By the 2016 election, just two years after forming, the party was in complete freefall. It won just 0.01% of the vote at their second election, and it was announced shortly after that Clive was quitting politics and the party was being shut down. Australia breathed a sigh of relief.

It was, of course, short lived.

Clive, in desperate need of attention, restarted the party for the 2019 election, fielding candidates in every seat and spending $60 million in advertising in an attempt to win votes.

Every single candidate lost.

It was in this campaign however that Australia really started to fall out of love with Palmer, because most of that $60 million went towards putting up the world's least compelling marketing billboards on almost every single free space in the country.

For a good six months this was basically the only thing you would see in Australia if you went outside:

Clearly Graphic design is his passion. And yes, the genius did just straight up try and copy Trump's homework while changing a few words, hoping nobody would notice.

Very quickly these all got vandalised and it seemed the ad companies didn't care enough to replace them.

We could go on posting examples, there are thousands, but the best is definitely the one Ikea put up shortly after Clive lost the election:

In 2022, Clive's party contested the election AGAIN, this time also opting to send millions on spam text messages to every person in Australia begging for people to vote for him, as well as buying almost every youtube ad for a year, at the cost of $100 million.

He won a whopping one seat.

During this election Clive ran on an anti-lockdown, anti-vax platform with the slogan "freedom, freedom, freedom". That message, however, was slightly undermined when his goons, dressed in 'Freedom!' shirts, made national news for trying to beat up a protester who turned up at a rally dressed as an annoying text message, shouting "pay your workers" at Clive.

As if that wasn't bad enough, at another rally Clive knocked himself unconscious while trying to jump up on stage, and then a few weeks later was rushed to hospital with covid, while his anti-vax ads were still in regular rotation on TV, at which point it was also leaked to the press that Palmer had been alledgedly trying to buy Hitler's car.

Utterly humiliated, the party deregistered again shortly after the election.

Can't wait until he runs again in 2025.

Anyway, on the other "Clive tweeting Miss Kobayashi's Dragon" thing, we have no idea what that means but here's a screencap:

[pocketgalaxies]

Since you’ve now watched the wedding do you have any thoughts on Derrig especially with how important he is to Orym? I remember the first time I watched it I found him boring compared to Lieve’tel who came before him and he didn’t do much, like you said nobody really did for a while there, cause it was mostly role play since it was a wedding and he was just out of place in that aspect too as Keyleth’s bodyguard who they were just meeting for the first time; and even after all this time and knowing he is incredibly important to a main character in C3, I still can’t shake this initial impression.

hello sorry for answering this late i wanted to catch up on c3

it got kinda long. didn't realize i could have so many thoughts about this dude!

i actually really enjoyed derrig! i think liam established him very quickly as someone who is fatherly, practical, and friendly. no-nonsense when shit hit the fan but also i just Know that he loves dad jokes and he makes his kids cringe so bad with how much he brags about them. he went home after the wedding and played scanlan shorthalt records nonstop until everyone in the house went crazy. he has also lost hours and hours and hours of sleep over what might happen to his family if he ever dies in the line of duty, and he knows that he might, and he knows that he Would if keyleth needed him to.

i think in general he's just such a Dad and that makes him very endearing to me. he is significantly older than all of vm and was very patient fielding all of their super nosy unprofessional questions about what he "intends to do" with keyleth. he watched her grow up and he knew vax (probably a bit better than he let on) and i think he has seen how that loss affected her, and i think he understands that the worry he's felt for her over the last several months could only be a fraction of how vm feels. so he entertains their questions, and he stays by her side when she's panicking about her speech, and he tells vex he's sorry, and he's just there, in case he's needed. not just by keyleth but by any of vm. which speaks volumes imo!

SORRY you asked about orym not keyleth. i think it's all about how derrig's interactions with vm reflect what his family must be like. derrig is a bit of a jokester and he's a bit of a boomer (affectionate) but he is diligent and dedicated and very skilled. in my mind orym was always this constantly Serious person while will had more of that silliness in him and pulled orym out of his shell a bit. i think will took after derrig as a jokester but orym took after him as a Soldier. and it's very easy to imagine how orym fit in to this family – an only child, quiet and severe, who loves his single mother deeply, being welcomed into this bustling loud family with the pranksters and the annual vacations and the spontaneous competitions with dad that are judged by mom. they love him like one of their own. they love him because he is one of their own

and i think losing derrig and will was zephrah losing two brilliant sparks of life, and what was left was a family mourning joy and memories and unconditional love. and i think that explains quite a lot about orym, actually.

[sorrinslays]

I would love to hear more about your Sampo headcanons!:)

Hello!!!!

So strictly speaking, I've said all my 'main' headcannons so what's left is just silly little thoughts that I feel like would or could happen in cannon and just are fun to think about. So here we go!

1. I think it would be really cute if at some point, after the seal of the underworld was lifted and Rivet Town is habitable once more, Natasha wants to return to the orphanage and, to raise money, they do a theatrical performance.

Sampo volunteers to help as a director and while he is fair, he bias he has for children is a lot more noticeable. Like, he'd be the Gordon Ramsay of theater. They did raise the funds though so all is forgiven. /j

2. You know Celine? The NPC that wants to become like another NPC so at that point she just stalks and copies her and asks for our help in a daily mission? Yeah, he accidently gave her the idea.

He would probably at some point advertise himself as a 'solver of any problem' and Celine would come to him asking for acting advice, saying she wants to be more like Tamila (the NPC she's trying to copy).

The advice he would give is learn how to pick up some of her mannerisms so she can get more 'in character', saying that's what he does a lot . And Celine does, and that's the start of her 'obsession'.

He doesn't know what's going on with Celine since after the initial 'session' he hasn't seen her and he didn't think about it much. He made money that's all that matters.

3. When Seele turned of age to drink, she immediately started challenging people to drinking contests because she has high metabolism. However, she got too cocky when she taunted Sampo, not knowing that man has spent a big portion of his life in the World's End tavern.

She lost soon after and never went drinking with Sampo again. Don't worry though, the day after Natasha scolded both. Sampo still makes fun of her anytime he sees her holding an alcoholic drink (Natasha won't admit she finds it entertaining).

4. Has started multiple betting pools with the Silvermane Guards (while pretending to be one). Gepard know of them (not that it's Sampo making them) and lets them do it since the bets (50-100 credits) aren't that big so nobody is losing much money and it keeps his soldiers entertained enough.

5. I just know this man makes snowmen in highly dangerous, far from the city, fragmentum filled areas. Like he's in the middle of nowhere, snow is all around him and fragmentum are ready to strike anything that moves and he crunches down, and makes snowmen in dumb poses, sometimes resembling people from Belobog.

Anytime that the Guards have to make an expedition for whatever reason and spot a snowman, the reaction they have is: "He's been here too????????!!!!! Why?????!!! What the fuck, how?!?!??!1/1?1/"

6. Babies, infants more specifically, immediately calm down and giggle in his arms but he himself is very awkward around them. It's probably because he's a Creation of Elation so he brings laugher easily, but he does not know how to interact with them. They are just so small! What if he accidently boops their nose too hard and it dents or something???????

Whenever Natasha has a difficult baby to deal with because they keep crying no matter what she calls Sampo. He always comes, thinking it's a favor she needs or more medicine, but no. It's a baby, here hold it.

7. Since he's not entirely human, he needs less food, water and sleep. That's great! But he neglects those needs more often than not because he forgets he needs to eat, drink and sleep.

8. He probably has slept in a cardboard box before, because he forgot that he does get tired and was about to pass out so he did it in the safest place (trash).

9. I do believe he's unvaccinated, not because he's anti-vax, but because, one, he's not fully human so his immune system is different and stronger, but also two, it requires a lot more touching that he's comfortable with (that is none) which is why he avoids doctors

Plus, he was spawned, he was never a child. So he never had the opportunity to get one and he learnt about their existence a little too late.

He once mentioned it to Gepard who freaked out and made a plan with Natasha to get Sampo to get his shots. It was messy.

10. I do believe he can shapeshift and I imagine that he once had a conversation with Gepard (after they had become closer) where he mentioned that in another language Geppie's name means cheetah. And because Gepard has never seen a cheetah, Sampo shapeshifted into one. Sampo spent the entire night shapeshifting into different animals and species to show the other. Gepard quickly noted that a fox suits Sampo a lot.

[demigoddessqueens]

If you are still doing requests for Vox Machina and the Castlevania Trio…

Let’s just say that after a tedious and stressful battle with some nobody thugs, one character gets separated from their group, and this character is weak from the wounds, and in their weakening vision they see the newest Big Bad Guy they’ve been encountering menacingly making their way towards them. However, with no energy left and exhaustion overtaking them, the character passes out.

Only to wake up, their wounds aching but patched up, in an unfamiliar hut. The BBG comes into their room and is like “you will need to rest more, those wounds you got are still healing. Also I confiscated your weapons for the time being, but I’ll return them once your better.”

And the character realises that the BBG had been taking care of them in their weakened state, and shows sign of wanting to harm them. And when the character asks why the BBG would heal them, the BBG just replies, “Only those weak in mind attack others who are in a vulnerable state. If I am to kill you, or you me, it will be under the rules of battle, where we’re both are at our strongest.”

Some time later, the BBG returns the character to the rest of their group just as promised and next time they meet each other, they are enemies under the rules of battle.

How would the characters of the groups individually be affected by the BBG’s actions?

Oh this would crush 💔 them now that I think about that

Percy

I feel like he would be crushed if it was any member of the party, but if it’s you or Vex he’ll be downright DEVASTATED

Grog

He’s a barbarian with feelings, so he’ll be emotionally crushed. Would be devastated if it was you, Pike or Scanlan against him

Alucard

Poor dhamphir has been through enough, and couldn’t bring himself if it was against you, or Trevor and Sypha

Vax’ildan

He cares about his friends and family so much so he is crushed and devastated if it was anyone in the group, including you

Vex’ahlia

Bit of a similar reaction like her brother, but would be crushed if it was also Percy

Keyleth

why would you do this to her?! 🥲 she cares for everybody so this hits her where it hurts the most. Also would be crushed if it was Percy

Sypha

This Speaker will feel immense rage towards BBG but hopes she’s not too late to appeal to any of the group she cares for

Scanlan

May not be the best at showing his feelings, but oh his heart would especially be crushed if it was Pike, you, Vax or Grog

Pike

This cleric will not hold back her rage against BBG if it was against you or any other member of the group, especially Grog or Scanlan

Trevor

His heart would not be in it if it was Sypha, you, or Alucard. and he would be emotionally crushed (but not show it as much)

[timaeusterrored]

(Like Father Like Son)

((I feel like I’ve never actually written a father-son moment between Vax and Vik, and what better time than now? Set sometime after he starts healing from the Space Station))

Vax had always loved rooftops, ever since he was a kid. Whenever he sat up there, for once he didn’t feel so small. That maybe being up there could save him from the city trying to swallow him. Even as a kid, V was terrified of the city eating him whole, becoming a no one. Another face in a sea of nobodies.

“Y’know, I’ll never forget the first time I looked up and saw you sitting on a roof. Damn near climbed the building to get you down.”

Vax turned at the sudden voice, not expecting anyone up here. But there stood Vik, arms crossed and leaned again the door way.

“Don’t you have your own roof to go sit on or somethin’? Or did the ol’ Rockerboy finally chase you away?” Vik sat down next to V, their legs dangling over the edge. Vax noted Vik was making an effort to not look down. Not everyone could handle heights.

“Nah, he’s busy with the ‘Saka bullshit still… and his new album.” Vax tried to keep the sad tone out of his voice, but he was struggling to. And he knew Vik heard it.

“Trouble in paradise? He fuck up?”

“He’s been perfect, Vik… it ain’t that.” Vax sighed, rubbing his eyes. “I’m so fuckin’ tired… and lonely. Ker invites me to join him when he goes places… but he doesn’t need me. No one fuckin’ does. No one needs V anymore…”

Vik let that settle in, watching his son for a long moment. Was that what this was? He felt unneeded? Unwanted even?

“You’re right. I don’t need V.” Maybe that was a bad way to start because Vax chuckled like he knew something. “I need Vax. I need that spunky little fifteen year old smart ass I met damn near 15 years ago.” Holy fuck it had been 15 years already.

Vax was staring at him, as if confused by his statement. He never had been a man of words.

“Y’know… when I first brought you in, I was thinking ‘what the fuck am I doing? I can’t raise a kid. Much less a 15 year old.’ And with you glaring at me for like a month straight, I really didn’t think we were getting far. But Vax… you changed my life. When you won your first boxing match, I just yelled ‘That’s my kid! That’s my kid right there!’ I was so fucking proud of you… then that fucker took you when you were 17 and I didn’t know what the fuck to do. All I knew was that my kid was gone and no one had seen him in days… then Rogue comes to my door holding you, you’re shaking and covered in blood and smell like a fucking campfire and I don’t think I’ve ever been more relieved to see you in my life… until Arasaka took you. Losing Jackie felt like losing a son… and I kept just… hoping, praying, I dunno, everything to just get that thing out of you. For you to live.”

When Vik was mostly done because he felt he was talking nonsense, he looked at V… to find him with tears in his eyes. Oh fuck, he hadn’t meant to make him cry.

“And when you brought fucking Kerry Eurodyne home, I was like “oh hell no.” Because I’ve read some shit-“ Vik attempted to joke but Vax let out a sound that he couldn’t tell if the poor man was laughing or crying.

Vik patted his son’s back, letting him get it out. Kerry said Vax had been rather unresponsive to things, and this is probably the first time he’s cried in a while. The ripperdoc couldn’t even begin to understand what this man went through.

“Fuck… I’m sorry.” Vax sniffed, rubbing his eyes. “I’m so… I’m so tired, Vik… I know people are trying to give me space and to let me rest… but I can’t help but feel like everyone has moved on from me… even Ker and Judy don’t feel like they need me anymore… and you and Mama Welles got your own shit goin’ on-“

“Me and Guadalupe have been worried sick about you. So don’t you start pulling that shit onto me… No one has moved on from you. You spend too much time in your own head, you always have.” Vik sighed. Vax had been horrible for getting in his own head, Vik never could get him to stop. “You been talking to your therapist? And taking your meds?”

Vax nodded, and yet Vik didn’t believe him.

“My keeper isn’t letting me forget. Don’t worry.” Vax mumbled, his hands falling into his lap in defeat. Vik had no clue what to do to make this better… he didn’t read any parenting books on how to make your adult kid feel better after dying three times.

The two sat in silence after, sometimes you just needed quiet with a safe person to feel less alone. Until Vax rested his head on Vik’s shoulder.

“Thanks pops…”

Vik wrapped his arm around his son and rubbed his shoulder.

“Anytime kiddo…”

[inky-quilled-dragon]

What. In The Fuck. Was Up With That.

Spoilers below

k let’s recap. (Dear gods.)

Because i am tired i will not be organising so this is both lore and just. character moments. because we got FED TONIGHT Y'ALL

HERE WE GO

Demon sword

Ludinus is in the Dwendalian empire??? and still in charge of the assembly?????

FCG asking The Question to the Changebringer

Keyleth’s reaction to screaming Vax’ildorb

Reiliora culture/physical form

keyleth hinting at allies (will expand on below)

TITAN ASHTON??? WHAT THE FUCK

HISHARI LORE EXPANSION?

The hishari may have been destroyed trying to make ashton, and they had some mysterious “item” carrying titan power that let them.

Great tree of atrophy?? (side note, the tree was a DRUID? A GAU DRASHARI?)

Shattered teeth mention??? We’re going to the shattered teeth?!?!?!?!?!

Asmodeus connection through EXU and his other champion? AND how the shattered teeth were made??

Keyleth had a god-research phase post Vax???

Ludinus is attempting druidic-life-extension

VECNA MENTION??? HOLY SHIT IS HE SHOWING UP AGAIN?

the Earth Titan Vecna used getting mentioned

Fucking delilah getting all excited about Vecna being mentioned dear gods that’s gonna be bad.

Percy getting roasted (not really a reveal but i have to mention)

FCG BACKSTORY DROP ft the person/robot (D) who sold him!!!

Keyleth literally called VM SlapDicks

Hints (to the avengers assemble level madness Kiki may have been hinting towards)

—Vox Machina, obviously. Keyleth definitely was thinking of them when she was pondering who she could gather.

—the Ashari were involved in the Malleus Key mission, as were Caleb and Beau, and she knows of the Mighty Nein from them rescuing Vilya — and as i mentioned in another post: YASHA IS MISSING HER WIFE. And we know two of them are on the Menagerie coast, where BH might be heading

—anyone Vox Machina helped/was helped by, e.g. Allura and Kima

Hints from Bells Hells —DORIAN

—The Nobodies? Ashton mentioned ‘shits’ who were old friends and we know they asked Milo to contact them…

—Planerider Ryn (still statued)

ANYWAY if i think of anything else i'll reblog.

Holy crap were we fed or what. i. i cannot process. I am going to go read fanfic to get my brain to calm down.

[mevima]

My wife and I have avoided getting COVID so far. Four years with no infection, because we're careful. We got every booster and we mask in public.

She tested positive yesterday.

We know exactly where it came from: a coworker who came to work with a nasty cough, feeling like death but talking to everyone unmasked while loudly proclaiming he "doesn't believe in COVID" and "nobody he knows has ever gotten it."

Fucker.

I'm still testing negative, and we'll see how long that lasts. But you know, even though I'm disabled and immunocompromised, I'm more worried about the elderly ferrets we care for.

Ferrets are so susceptible to COVID that medical labs used them to test treatments and vaccines. If we pass COVID on to the eighteen ferrets we currently foster - something that will be difficult to avoid in a one-bedroom apartment - we are likely to lose a lot of them very quickly. Most of them are 6+ years old, or have special needs already.

She's going to lose out on a week's pay, and I make hardly anything. We're going to be relying on Instacart, which costs more, because I can't drive. We're going to be buying and using extra masks (indoors), dayquil, cough drops, quick meals, and tissues; running the air purifier on high; and hoping to high hell it stays contained and we have enough savings, because she's sure as fuck not going to work and passing this on.

People, stay the fuck home when you have COVID symptoms. Get tested. Get vaxxed if you can. Protect your family and your neighbors. It's still killing people. It's killing pets. It's disabling people for life. It's not a joke and it's not just a flu.

[iiitsnotbase]

Sweet Satine

BASED ON @romeoandjulietyouwish 's BROADWAY AU. THIS STARTED AS SOMETHIGN SMALL.

Keyleth had never felt like she was more unsuited to a role than fucking Satine, of all of them she had ever played this one was so far out of her comfort zone. It’s not like she was doing it alone, though. Percy was Christian and Gilmore was Harold, and Vax was Toulouse, which made Nature Boy a lot more emotional. She had Vex as well, with a scene in the show where their two characters described each other as ‘sisters’ in. And she couldn’t fucking breathe. She was gasping for air through her warm-ups and her rehearsal today, and was sure Percy had noticed it. The door opened and in rushed Gilmore, who had his hands around her waist in the next second. Thank god her entrance was not until 15 minutes in. 

“Gilmore, hack,” She said, curling into him. 

“I know they talk about method acting, but this is too much darling. You need sleep.” Keyleth shook her head, but still curled closer into Gilmore. “I’ll make you some tea, yes?” She nodded, “Save your voice, no talking until you’re out on that stage. If you’re still bad at the end of act 1, you’re leaving.” Keyleth could do nothing but nod, and hack above her dressing table. “Oh dear, your lipstick has smudged. Here.” Gilmore took a make-up wipe and gently reapplied it. “Let’s go.” 

From the stage, Keyleth could hear Vax beginning his song. 

“I’ve never seen a diamond in the flesh.”

~

Keyleth had always been afraid of heights. She coughed gently into her elbow and looked at the swing in front of her, sitting down. It was, arguably, the best entrance in the show. If she could hold off her coughs for a little while, she could get through it. Her legs swung and she felt herself lower. Hundreds of people were expecting the diamond. She could show them Keyleth. 

“Diamonds are forever,” She began, letting go of the grip of one of the handles, she continued the song as her feet landed on the ground, and if slightly less effort was put into the notes so she could do Crazy Rolling extremely well later? That was a secret only she got to know. She was, mostly, fine. 

~

Something was wrong with Keyleth. Vex didn’t know her as well as her brother did, but she could still tell something was off. There were too many well-placed coughs in the show where there weren't before, and it took a little extra effort to pull her off the floor during Sparkling Diamond. “Vax.” She said, backstage. A risk she was willing to take, because the audience may have been able to see her. 

“What on earth are you doing, Stubby?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper. 

“Something’s wrong with Keyleth.” Vex said. “I can see it when I get behind her. She’s slightly weaker.” 

“Oh no the exits not a good…” Vax, in his panic, looked back to his sister, who was already gone before she could elaborate and he was making his entrance. He was supposed to look at Keyleth, Satine, anyway, and when he did there was no way she wasn’t ill. “Idea.” Even under the thick stage make-up, he could see dark circles under her eyes. When the three boys went away to argue, she coughed into her arm. 

~

The second the curtain fell on act 1, Keyleth collapsed into Percy’s arms and started coughing a little too violently. Percy held onto her as she coughed and prayed nobody in the audience could hear her. Method Acting was going a step too far with Keyleth tonight.

“Keeks.” He said. “Are you sure you can keep going?” Keyleth coughed some more in response and looked up at him. She was panting for breath. “Actually, don't talk. Come on, let’s get you sat down.” She leaned on Percy all the way to her dressing room, where she sat down on her chair and had a blanket draped over her shoulders and handed her a notebook and pen. Vax came in immediately after that, still in costume, closely followed by Vex. 

“I think you should go home.” Vax said, “When does Pike’s show finish? Maybe she can take you home.” Vax was always like this when any member of the group got sick. “Vex can go on for you.” Keyleth began to scrawl in the notebook. 

I’m fine. She coughed off to the side again, Check my temp. Percy raised an eyebrow. 

“If it’s raised too high, you’re leaving.” He said, “We’re calling Cass.” It always looked strange seeing Vex with the blonde Nini wig on, Keyleth thought. Not many people knew that her natural hair colour was a deep, dark brown. She nodded at Percy, who went to fetch the kit, and Vax bent down next to her.

“What’s wrong, love?” Keyleth touched her throat. “Voice hurts?” She nodded, “Want me to go on for you?” She tried not to laugh, and spotted Gilmore in the doorway. She waved him and Scanlan in. “What, I have great sexual tension with Shaun and Freddie.” 

“No doing well then, Dove?” Gilmore asked, and Keyleth nodded. Vax had launched into an intentionally bad rendition of Firework. “Vocal rest would be the best thing for you.” 

“Want me to call Kaylie?” Scanlan asked. “She could get here in ten minutes.” Keyleth rolled her eyes and wrote something in her notebook. 

I don’t want to delay the show. Vax was still doing his bad rendition, but he was doing the choreography to Chandelier with it. It made a complete mess of the song, but Keyleth was smiling. Percy and Vex returned with the thermometer, and Keyleth allowed the momentary discomfort of it being shoved in her ear before it beeped and Percy read the temperature. 

“It’s fine.” Vex said. “But-”

“No buts.” Keyleth croaked out. “If it was fine. I could stay.”

“You sound like you’re dying.” Scanlan pointed out. 

“Method acting.” Keyleth shot back. 

“Sing for me.” Gilmore said, and because Keyleth could not hold her tongue, she launched into Christine’s run from Phantom of The Opera. It sounded fine. It wasn’t going to get her any crazy standing ovations, but it sounded fine. “Well. No more talking until you’re on that stage, yes?” Keyleth nodded again. One by one, they filed out of the room until it was just Keyleth and Vax. 

Vax leaned down and kissed her on the forehead, and then he was gone too. 

~

“You need a doctor, Ke- Satine.” Vex (as Nini) insisted after almost messing up the line and during the scene that Nini and Satine shared after Satine had revealed her illness to the other members of Moulin Rouge. She had to notice that Keyleth’s breath caught in her throat, which only made her cough more. Vex was by her side in a second. 

“I am fine, Nini.” Keyleth said, “I will open the new show and- hack.” That wasn’t in the script. Keyleth could not stop coughing. Whatever she did next had to be in somewhat character until they could get the show back running, but her chest was so tight and the coughs were so violent and she didn’t know whether her microphone was on or off. 

“Deep breaths, love.” Vex said, so close to her character Keyleth could not tell whether she was faking, “Harold will understand.” Vex found the pocket of her costume where they kept the tissue, and handed it to Keyleth. 

“Nini- I can’t breathe.” Keyleth said, falling over and into Vex. Vex, in all her good grace, picked her up and carried her off stage. People were talking all around her and she was vaguely aware of orders being yelled by the stage manager and an announcement of a brief show stop. 

“Vex, go get on for Satine, Vax-” 

“I’m staying with Kiki.”

“I know. I’m telling you to make the both of you sparse so we can use this area for make up.” Keyleth was aware of strong hands by her side and Vax gently lifting her up and towards her dressing room. She didn’t have a car and neither did he, so they’d have to get the subway back to Keyleth and Pike’s tiny apartment, unless they signalled a cab. 

~ Keyleth woke up the next morning to a post from Moulin Rouge’s official twitter account and more replies under it than was natural. Vax was asleep on the floor next to her as she scrolled through the replies. Percy had once called this ‘doom scrolling’, but she couldn’t help herself. 

@MoulinRougeBway: For the remainder of tonight's performance, Satine will be played by Vex’ahlia De Rolo and Toulouse-Lautrec will be played by Kynan Leore. We thank you for your patience. 

It was calm, it was reasonable, it was professional, it was everything that the official account for their job should be. The responses were always rough to get through, but Keyleth did it anyway. 

@BellaSmith: WTF?? Came all this way to see Keyleth and she can’t even do the show. 

@NCDR: Calm down Bella. 

@Cheffery: Wishing you all the best Keyleth! So lucky to get to see yours and Vex’s Satine in one night…You both bring something good to the role. 

@Strongjaw: Get well soon Kiki!!!!

Her phone was covered by a hand and pulled out of her grasp by Vax, who had woken up.

“How’re you doing?” He asked, and she hadn't tried speaking yet. “We need to get you to a doctor, yeah? Satine is emotionally and vocally demanding. I know you don’t want to think about it but better safe than sorry, yeah?” 

“Vax-” Keyleth’s voice was still cracking at every single chance it got. “-Fine. I’ll go see a doctor.” Vax kissed her on the forehead again. 

“I love you. Please don’t kiss me, I don’t wanna get sick.”

[yonicfemcel]

oh youre still posting about how the vax is poison? yeah we moved on. just not news at all bud sorry. yeah you got mistreated and there was not even an apology? ok. ok cool but i just can't help you sir, you see we moved on now. yeah sorry. what? traumatised? by the pandemic? by how your relatives treated you? you're being histrionic. just chill out, it's irrelevant. train moved on. your family kicked you out of the house on thanksgiving? christmas too? you slept in the car? listen buddy i'm sorry but nobody cares anymore ok we need to discuss current thing. please.

[weirdmageddon]

hi i have covid for the first time :( (i’m triple vaxxed but nobody at the wedding was masking) had symptoms start tuesday evening then they got worse yesterday. my mom tested positive yesterday but i tested negative even though i was just as sick as her. and we had a flight that day back home scheduled so we had to take it since we didnt have enough clothes and meds to last us 5 more days. my symptoms are fever, chills, headache, body ache, head zaps when standing, sore/itchy throat with occasional light coughing. i can still breathe easily and i havent lost my taste or smell. when i got home i threw up trying to take tylenol with water which made my sore throat so much worse and i went to bed. i slept okay but i tested positive when i woke up and my temp is 102.8, so i took two tylenol which went down fine today

[alliswyattonthewesternfront]

i don't talk about my mom's anti-vax/anti-doctor phase a lot because it's not something she's proud of, and because some of the medical trauma from that time is hard to make silly hahas about. but. y'all. i gotta.

i was diagnosed with scarlet fever when i was very young as part of a gauntlet of illnesses that had me largely bedridden from ages 7 to 9. i never really thought anything of it, but i am reading about strep throat (currently recovering from an infection) and apparently, scarlet fever develops in a small number of patients with strep whose infection goes untreated.

i would get strep minimum twice a year as a kid. i never got antibiotics. not once. of course i was going to eventually get scarlet fever! my god!

and if y'all are curious, no, i did not get antibiotics for the scarlet fever either :) and now that i'm reading about how untreated strep and/or scarlet fever can result in rheumatic fever, the symptoms of RF sound an awful lot like how i would feel for weeks and weeks after each strep infection :)) but was always told to stop being a dramatic whiny faker because nobody else was still sick so how could i possibly be :)))))))))))))

wonder if that is a contributing factor in the weird heart shit i have always experienced but has lately been getting worse! who knows! each day is an exciting new adventure over here!

[ravenquingvax]

feel sick suddenly at midnight because of course i do

Vax, buddy, it's time to make you suffer so i can feel better

--

I picture Vax as that kid who was always sick growing up - he rarely got to play outside with the other kids, and that meant Vex rarely got to play outside with them too

Vex spent a lot of her late childhood caring for her brother while their mum worked, Vex watching the other kids playing through the window and feeling jealous

Vax would feel terrible for it, stealing or making her little gifts to make up for it

Vex appreciated the gesture, but it still sucked

as they got older, Vax started hiding his injuries and illness because in Syngorn, saying something was wrong would just get you punished

Vex isn't much better, in truth, but she's more likely to admit that she's injured than Vax is

joining Vox Machina and having a healer did help them slowly open up a bit, both seeking out Pike in private when it starts getting bad

but Vax would still rather quietly bleed to death or throw up for hours without any help

cue the Hotis incident and suddenly Vax is violently ill in the middle of the night after narrowly surviving the attempt on his life - he's hysterical

he trusts nobody - Hotis can mimic absolutely anyone and Vax has already fallen for it before, he's not letting that happen ever again

healers try to heal him? he screams and lashes out

someone brings him soup? it's poisoned, he's sure of it

his sister visits him alone and acts awkward? she's here to kill him once and for all

Keyleth brings him flowers? she's clearly spying on him

Grog is nice to him???

Eventually, Vax gets so sick that he can barely even stay conscious, and the others have to fight to get him back to good health but it's difficult

Vex thinks that she'd rather be tending to Vax with a flu as her friends play outside over her holding her brother down as he screams incoherently because Percy moved towards him a little too quickly with medicine

seeing him so broken and sick, so scared and helpless....

Vex vows to destroy Hotis slowly and painfully for what he's done to her brother

eventually Vax recovers, the rogue feeling awful for how he's treated everyone while sick

he still doesn't trust them, will never come forward about an injury or illness again, but he really does feel sorry for them

they did their best to look after him and kindly nursed him back to fighting health

he just needs to make up for it somehow, maybe killing the ring leader of the dragons will settle his self-percieved debt?

[icicleteeth]

I have an extremely important family appointment coming up but im terrified because nobody will reschedule no matter what but im still so sick, the coughing and hacking is nonstop and so much worse. I dont think wearing a mask will be enough. I have to be there and rescheduling is off the table and i’d get shouted at if i even suggested it even though im literally!!! Coughing to the point where i can barely even talk, like it’s really bad!! And the nonchalance is not just cuz i tested negative, i was told “even if you actually do have it no one cares just wear a mask” im pretty sure people care!!!! And it’s just so. Like i know for a fact if i try to put my foot down and not go, i’ll be treated like it’s my fault that i got sick so i have no right to back out of the appointment and ruin it for everyone when!!! I literally got sick from the family christmas eve party we ALL went to!!! That someone unknowingly brought and we only found out when she tested positive 3 days later!!! I am glad very few got sick (im the only one in my immediate family who did) but ffs it’s not like i did something uniquely reckless to get it; i hardly ever go out!!! I go out less than most, and im vaxxed (same cant be said for everyone in the family, it is what it is im just saying i DO take precautions) I didn’t ASK to get violent coughing sick with something and throw a wrench in family appointments, my god!!!!

[as-i-watch]

The best thing about critical role is how the cast uses improv, the randomness of dice rolls, and occasionally their own "mistakes", to weave a good narrative. In real life, Taliesin forgot to check for traps before grabbing the armor; it was completely accidental, but in the story, Percy is stated as someone who thinks of himself as the only adult in the room (with the exception of Vex). So when Vax says "Nobody touch anything until I make sure it's safe", it makes sense for him to think, "That doesn't apply to me; I'm not like them; I can go snooping around touching everything because I would never accidentally trigger a death trap. So yeah, Vex's death was an accident, and I wouldn't hold it against Percy, but it was caused by his carelessness, and he has his share of guilt to carry. But honestly, the best part is that, apparently, he didn't learn anything from it, because he still says he doesn't know what he would have done differently (you check for traps de Blorbo!!)

I've been watching the critical role streams but i havent got to the chroma conclave yet bc i wanted to watch the show first exactly for that reason. To see all the random and spontaneus things that they carried to the adaptation

For example in season 1, i would've never guessed that Pike's astral projection thing was bc Ashley was shooting in NY and only could eventually join via skype, and they had shit connection and Matt had to make it all work

Or that Taleisin plays Percy to be a fucked up little guy on purpose (which will forever be funny to me)

But also yes, bottom line, its incredible how the randomness of the game itself, plus the witt and commitment of the players and the hability of Matt as a DM really did create this amazing story so rich and entertaining in any format or adaptation you consume

[everystephoftheway]

camp cloudtop: chapter sixteen

Long chapter yay! Also it turns out I can’t count the fic is gonna end up being 30 chapters even (if nothing changes). Please like and reblog if you are enjoying the story; I love reading all your tags/comments it makes my heart happy <3

Read more is for length only, nothing content based.

This can be found on ao3 as well.    

After a few days of whispers, a secret sign up sheet in Keyleth’s pocket, and a little bit of encouragement, Keyleth and Vax managed to get–at minimum–every group in the camp involved in the talent show; some campers and counselors had interest in doing their own acts too once they heard that was an option, and, hey, the more the merrier. 

“Wait, you guys are doing a bake sale?” Music filled the padded play room where the pre-school group resided for most of the day, but even still the idea of a bake sale made Pike, a small gnome with stark white hair and a badass scar down one side of her face, shout loud enough to be heard easily over it. 

“We are!” Keyleth couldn’t help but match her energy. “Do you bake?”

“Do I? Don’t even worry about that part of things; I’ve totally got you covered.” 

“Are you sure?” Vax leaned in, warm friendliness smiling across his features. “We’re happy to help.”

“Seriously, I’ve got it. Grog can be my sous chef. Right, Grog?”

“Sure thing, Pikey!” There was no way the half giant heard what they were saying with two toddlers climbing up his head and chest, but he gave a thumbs up anyway. 

“But, we do ask that you keep this a secret for now.”

“A secret? Why are we keeping it a secret?”

“We want it to be a surprise for Gilmore.” Keyleth glanced over at Vax who simply looked back; the lie that wasn’t entirely a lie had been working thus far. “We don’t want to make more work for him, and when he finds out he will definitely want to help.” 

Pike nodded, chewing on the inside of her cheek for a second before her nodding intensified. “Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, I getcha. Just be sure to tell him before it happens! He’d do a great act for the talent show.”

Keyleth and Vax grinned. “Of course,” he said. “We definitely want him to be involved once it’s all ready.”

A little elven boy started to tug at Pike’s scarf that laid down her chest, and she jerked forward, laughing.

“Sorry guys, I think I’ve got to get back to the kiddos.” 

“No, yeah, sorry to keep you.” Keyleth gave the little boy a pat on the head and offered Pike and Grog a wave. “We’ll give you more details later! Thanks!”

With another wave, the two headed out of the pre-school room and started heading back toward the gym where their group was finishing up a round of dodgeball. 

“I can’t believe it’s been so easy,” Keyleth said, voice a bit more airy than usual as she kept herself quiet. She pulled the sign up sheet out of her pocket, placed it against her thigh as they walked, and added Pike and Grog’s names with a dash following, ‘BAKE SALE’, in all capital letters.

“I know. People really do love this camp. Or, at least they love Gilmore.” Vax scanned around them as Keyleth wrote on the list and put it away, keeping watch for anyone who could see. Luckily, he didn’t spot anybody. “I don’t think it hurts that you’re the one asking.” 

Keyleth had to laugh at that, pointing to herself. “Me? Nobody knows me; I’m brand new. If anything, they’re all taken by you and your charm.” 

Vax laughed too, though his was softer, less surprised. “I think you give me too much credit and don’t think you give yourself enough credit. You’re doing an amazing job with all of this. You can take some credit.” 

Keyleth’s eyes found her feet as her cheeks went red, hair–perhaps on purpose–falling forward to hide herself from Vax for a moment before she felt like she could speak without her voice cracking. “I’ll take some if you take some.”

He laughed again. “Deal.” 

                                                          X.X.X

Back in their familiar music room, Vax and Keyleth sat in a circle with their kids, watching all their little faces carefully as they mulled over the idea of the talent show. 

“We can do anything we want?”

“Anything within reason,” Vax said, but quickly shrugged. “But, for all intents and purposes, sure.” 

“Can we do the Macarena?”

“If you want to do the Macarena.” 

Tyne jumped up. “What about a concert? We can bring all the instruments from here!”

Keyleth pointed at him. “I like the way you’re thinking, Tyne. We have time to nail down our act, but what we really need to focus on today is that this is a secret, right? We’re not going to tell Director Gilmore. You can tell your parents because we want them to come, but we can’t talk about it when we’re not in this room, okay?”

“A secret,” Clemyn reiterated.

Vax nodded. “A secret. For now.” 

“Like Keyleth and Mr. Kash?”

Keyleth’s shoulders fell and her expression went blank for a moment before she sighed, resigned to the fact that kids really did know everything, and said, “Yeah.”

“Exactly like that,” Vax added, trying very hard not to laugh.

“Don’t worry. I didn’t tell anyone, Ms. Keyleth. Secrets are safe with me. And us. Right?”

The group responded with a resounding, “Yeah!”

“Alright,” Keyleth smiled, writing their group down on the sign up list. “I’m putting a lot of trust in you guys.”

“Don’t worry, Ms. Keyleth. The Golden Goldfish can keep secrets.” 

Both Vax and Keyleth’s eyes widened. “The Golden Goldfish?”

“Yeah! That’s our group name! Remember, you told us to come up with a group name?”

“No, yeah, group name. Right. And how did you guys come up with Golden Goldfish?”

Clemyn shrugged. “It just sounded cool.” 

Vax and Keyleth looked at each other, both of them now trying hard not to laugh. 

“Alright,” he started, and Keyleth finished, “The Golden Goldfish.” 

                                                         X.X.X

“You really won’t do anything?”

Keyleth, Vax, Vex, Kash, and Zahra all stood together against one of the walls of the cafeteria, half watching over their groups as they ate and half continuing to plan. 

“I’m not really much of a performance guy,” Kash said, folding his arms across his chest.

“You run a vlog,” Vex argued, matching his stance.

“That’s different from getting on a stage. Seriously, I don’t want to do it. I’ll do the vlogs and help promote it. I’ll stand at the door and collect money for admission. I’ll put glitter on the kids’ faces; I’ll do whatever else you want, but I’m not doing an act.” 

Keyleth frowned, her big green eyes even larger and greener than usual in a silent attempt to get Kash to change his mind. “What happened to ‘anything for you, babe’?”

He just rolled his eyes. “Please stop. I’m not doing it.” 

Keyleth huffed and sighed in defeat. “Fine. I will give you other jobs, though, now that you mention it.” 

“Hey!” The group looked up to see Percy speed walking toward them, a leather messenger bag strapped across his chest, the bag part bumping against his hip. 

“Hey,” he said again when he reached everyone, softer this time and a bit out of breath.

“Did you run over here?” Zahra asked, chuckling.

“No. Maybe. It doesn’t matter. I was doing some research on the Briarwoods,” he looked over at Keyleth, and she noticed his eyes were frantic, unusual for him. “They’re from Whitestone.”

“Your hometown?” Vex leaned into their little circle. 

Percy nodded. “They’re not ‘from’ there; I would’ve recognized them most likely if that were the case, but it seems they settled there after my family died and worked their way up the social ladder. They’re not just Deliliah and Sylas Briarwood. They’re Lord and Lady Briarwood. I can’t figure out why I’ve never heard their names before. After the day’s over I’m going to make some calls back home and see what they can tell me.” 

“Percy?” Keyleth almost raised her hand, but she fought the urge. “Um, what happened to your family? If you don’t mind–”

He shook his head. “No, it’s fine.” He cleared his throat, then spoke very matter of factly, like he was reading facts off a trivia page. “We came to Emon on a week-long vacation. We were all in the car one night, and we got into an accident. A bad accident. Cassandra and I were the only survivors. They think it’s because we were asleep. Limp bodies help with lesser injuries.” 

Keyleth reached over and took his hand. “I’m so sorry for your losses. Thank you for telling us.” 

He nodded with no hint of a smile, and cleared his throat again. “I’ll let you know what I hear from Whitestone.” 

                                                         X.X.X

Keyleth was exhausted by the time the day came to an end, her feet aching against the pavement as her and Kash walked out toward the parking lot. She still had a smile on her face, however, as her hand laid over the nearly full sign up sheet pressed against her thigh in her pocket. 

“You look exhausted,” Kash said with a light laugh. “You want a ride home?”

Keyleth thought for a second, but ultimately shook her head. “No thanks. I’m gonna take my own way this time. It gets me there faster,” she admitted. 

“The tree, right?” 

Keyleth’s lips curled into each other as her neck grew warm, and she shrugged. 

“How does that work? Like, what are you doing? It’s some kind of magic, but magic I’ve never seen before.” 

Keyleth turned to look at the tree and then back at Kash. “Oh, it’s really complicated and hard to explain. I don’t–” It wasn’t really that hard to explain–she was using the tree as a portal to another tree–but there weren’t too many druids running around the city; when she first got to Emon she used her magic more openly, but after some teasing names and taunts by city folk she started keeping it to herself. “I’ll tell you another time. When I’m not as tired, okay?”

Kash’s eyes narrowed at her, but he ultimately didn’t press. “I’m gonna hold you to that.” 

Keyleth managed a smile. “Yeah, I know. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Dinner at six, right?”

She nodded.

He smiled. “See you tomorrow.” 

Keyleth waited for Kash to get into his car and drive off before she turned and headed to her tree, happy to be welcomed by the warm embrace of her backyard as she walked through.