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summerwritesfics · 1 year ago

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🖤For Warmth You’ll Be Longing, Nightingale, Chapter 1 - For Of Sugar And Ice I Am Made

Pairing: Hanzo Hasashi/Kuai Liang Length: 7694 Words Rating: Explicit 🔞 Warnings: Cult AU, Past Torture, Flower growing in peoples skin, Body Horror, Mental Health Issues, NSFK (Not Safe For Kuai)

For Warmth You’ll Be Longing, Nightingale Masterlist

Notes: Omg, I finally have a bit of a “AO3 authors post under any and all circumstance” story for these notes, as I edited and posted this with half of my face swollen :D My cheek is so swollen I can actually see it from the corner of my eye lmao. Also I have been having toothache on and off since yesterday. I know those things together prob sound really bad but I don’t believe they are actually related (I have episodes of swelling, this feel very much like that and as such does feel like it’s on it’s way to actually going down, plus the toothache is slowly getting better.) If my editing if a bit off that is probably why, but I said I’d try post stuff over the weekend and I’m gonna do it dammit lmao. Anyway enjoy this chapter where Kuai basically becomes a manic pixie nightmare girl. Some cracks in his psyche show a little and it’s only gonna get worse from here, so buckle up. Chapter title is from “Love Like Winter” by AFI.

Things could change so much in just a year.

Kuai’s ascension was greatly contested by the Elder’s for weeks after it had happened. Calls to try and reason with Lady Cetrion to change her chosen one. Some Elder’s outright refused to acknowledge Kuai for what he was now. The Grandmaster was, oddly enough, on Kuai’s side in this, trying to argue that Lady Cetrion had chosen Kuai for a reason, so they should trust her judgement and that she had a plan. Still, it took some time for the Elder’s to come around.

Kuai freezing the entire compound for a few days did seem to get the majority in line however.

The general consensus of the regular members of the Lin Kuei were a lot more positive thankfully. Surprised, given Kuai’s reputation as the rebel of the compound, but seemingly happy for him. Really, it appeared people were just happy their devotion had been noticed by a God in some way. Lady Cetrion had blessed Kuai Liang, and by extension them, when she bestowed this gift to him.

Sure, he still got the odd death glare from some Elder’s, but none had yet dared to try and take him down. He could walk around the compound with his head held high, all that he crossed bowing to him. All his pain and suffering had finally been repaid with respect and adoration.

So… Why did he feel like he was still completely without any power?

Sure, The Lin Kuei followed him without question now, but somehow he got the feeling that Cetrion’s plans for him were beyond the scope of just the compound. There were so many problems in the world, hunger, war, pollution. He felt like Cetrion wanted him to be the one to put an end to all that. That he could in some way be doing more to save the world from itself.

The problem was, he had no idea where to even begin with that.

Even he had been unable to contact Lady Cetrion for guidance, and all the Grandmaster could suggest was taking it a day at a time. But he was growing impatient, and what he saw of the world beyond the compound, he wasn’t sure he had that much time left to act.

“You wish to do too much too fast, My Lord,” the Grandmaster told him, standing just to the side of Kuai’s throne. “We must first convert others to our cause, then when we have the manpower, you can do what you wish.”

Kuai crossed his arms and slumped in his seat, but he supposed the Grandmaster had a point. If more people believed he truly was the messiah, the easier it would be to command the changes he needed. It was just getting a world that hardly believed the old gods even existed to trust what they were saying was proving difficult.

“The good news is, we’ve managed to recruit a lot of new members from across the globe,” the Grandmaster continued, ignoring Kuai’s mini temper tantrum. “I just got word that they’ve arrived. They’ll be brought before you for initiation, and then shown to their accommodations.”

“Do we have enough room?” Kuai asked with an eyebrow raised. “I hadn’t believed they’d finished the new lodgings yet.”

“They’ve finished enough to welcome at least some new members,” the Grandmaster informed him and Kuai couldn’t help but frown. How come I haven’t been told about this? Given he was the one who’d ordered the new buildings, it seemed logical he would be the one to be told first. “I believe the other elder’s assigned Elder Fang to oversee the project, that may be why you have not been informed.”

Kuai rolled his eyes. Elder Fang had always hated Kuai Liang, and Lady Cetrion’s gift had just seemed to make that hatred amplify.

“He would not be a problem if you’d just let me freeze him,” Kuai grumbled, stopping himself from sliding even further in his chair.

The Grandmaster just chuckled, “unfortunately he is a little too important for me to allow you to do that, My Lord.”

Important, my ass.

Kuai didn’t get a chance to continue that line of thought when the doors to the throne room opened. Cyrax stepped through, guiding in a surprisingly large group of people in civilian clothing. Kuai immediately pushed himself to sit up, so he at least looked somewhat more professional than he actually was.

The group was diverse. Young and Old, single people and families, all races. He found it curious how their message had united people who likely had such different life stories. It gave him hope for being able to reach more over time. Overall though, no one really stood out to him. They all just looked like regular people hoping for a new start.

That was, until he found his eyes landing on one particular man towards the back of the crowd.

He was tall, but seemed to be ducking slightly to try and make himself seem smaller. He had long hair tied into a bun, a trim beard and a yellow hoodie. But it wasn’t any of that which had caught Kuai’s attention. It was the fact he appeared to be trying to not draw any attention to himself. He was seemingly hiding amongst the crowd, not wanting anyone to notice him.

Kuai appreciated the irony that the mans attempt to remain incognito had drawn his attention.

“Welcome to The Lin Kuei,” the Grandmaster began, and Kuai tried to look like he was paying attention to everyone and not just this strange man at the back. “I am Grandmaster Oniro, and this-” he gestured to Kuai, “is Lord Song Kuai Liang, Lady Cetrion’s chosen one.”

There was a chorus of whispers from the crowd. Kuai couldn’t make out what anyone was saying, but he could imagine it was questions on how this man could be the chosen one. What made him so special, after all? Kuai smirked, he couldn’t wait to start casually using his powers around them and seeing realisation slowly sink in.

The man at the back didn’t really react. He just lifted his head enough to get a good look at Kuai Liang. Kuai debated waving at him, but decided that’d probably just be mean.

Grandmaster Oniro was droning on and on about the compound, their rituals, the daily schedule, how everyone would be given a job to do. Kuai knew it all already, so he could just shut it out for now.

The man seemed to be paying attention, although he was frowning rather intensely. Clearly he had heard something that he had either taken exception to or was unsure about. Kuai supposed that in the outside world, they probably didn’t have quite as many strict rules as The Lin Kuei did. He should just be thankful I outlawed physical punishments. It was pretty much Kuai’s first order as the chosen one. No one, no matter how disobedient they were, would ever suffer like he had.

While he suspected it was his suffering that had drawn Lady Cetrion to him, that still didn’t mean it had been a good thing or worth the pain.

“Cyrax will show you to your accommodation,” the Grandmaster concluded. “We will give you time to settle in and then we can begin your spiritual journey.”

Cyrax jumped to action, bowing towards Kuai and the Grandmaster, before beginning to usher out the crowd. Kuai’s gaze was still on that same man, who once more tried his best to blend into the crowd. Curious. Was he just shy? Or was he trying to hide something?

Only one way to find out.

“Would I be okay to observe the new recruits?” Kuai questioned, trying to make the request as casual as he could. “I would like to get a feeling on the type of people they are.”

“Of course,” the Grandmaster replied, “you may do whatever you like, My Lord.”

“Correct answer,” Kuai snarked as he jumped up onto his feet. “In that case, I will bid you adieu.”

The Grandmaster bowed to him as he confidently strode out of the throne room. He wasn’t sure what was going on with the man he’d taken such an interest in. Hell, there might have been nothing at all. But Kuai needed to know what the guy's deal was.

Hanzo glared at his own reflection in the mirror. This uniform he’d been made to wear was simple, dyed yellow, and made of an itchy fabric. Worse still, it didn’t have any pockets, so he wouldn’t have anywhere to put his contraband phone. He needed to figure out a way to carry it around, he required it to be able to record conversations and take photographs of the conditions here.

This closed off cult in the middle of the Chinese wilderness had always had people wondering about the conditions inside. Until recently, it had been impossible to get in from the outside, the only new members having been born within. Rumours of the group's cruelty were widespread but somewhat unfounded. Truth was no one knew what happened behind the walls of the compound, and no one had ever left to tell the truth.

Then, suddenly, that all changed.

Of course, claims that the Elder God’s had blessed the group with the messiah were obviously fake. It was obvious it was a bid to attract attention and gain new members. The question was why? Why did they need new blood? Were their bloodlines becoming too intertwined? Did they just decide they wanted to expand?

Did they genuinely believe that fraud with a flower glued to his chest was really the Messiah?

Hanzo didn’t know, but that’s why he was here. He was going to document everything that went on within these walls, and then once he’d gotten what he needed, write an article exposing them. Hopefully then the Chinese government couldn’t continue to turn a blind eye to their dangerous practices.

He looked down at the robe again. The sleeves were long and quite baggy, so for now he could possibly tie the phone to his arm. He grabbed a strip of rope, pulling the sleeve up enough to place the phone against his forearm and wrapped the rope around it, being careful not to strap it too tightly and cut off his own circulation.

He let the clothing drop back down, hiding the phone from view. This was as good as any time to start exploring and seeing what he could find out. It seemed they were being given time to get used to their surroundings before their first meal and proper initiation. Hanzo didn’t know what that would entail, but he had a bad feeling about it.

He turned to leave the room. It was annoying he’d be sharing with a lot of other people, it would make hiding his true intentions a lot harder, but he was used to this sort of undercover work. He was the journalist who’d blown the lid on the Shujinko scandal after all. He could do this. And at least this time he wasn’t alone. Thankfully it seemed other factions were interested in exposes the cults inner workings, and in the interest of getting all information possible, the factions had agreed to work together rather than against each other.

As he walked down the corridor, he pondered that this building looked extremely new. Clearly they had been planning to open up their walls for a while now if they’d managed to build this cabin. Still, it didn’t really reveal too much. For a shack it was actually quite nice. No, he had a feeling the things he’d be looking for would be in other parts of the commune.

As he approached the door’s to the outside world, he could hear two voices talking. He recognised one as Cyrax, the man who’d guided them in, but the second was new. As quietly as he could, he made his way to the door, sticking his head around just enough that he could make out Cyrax and his partner in conversation.

Hanzo’s eyes widened when he realised it was the so-called messiah himself.

“So, everyone is settling in then? No complaints about the cabin?” The messiah asked, his tone so strange that Hanzo could not tell what he was thinking. “Given Fang’s involvement in building them I would not be surprised if there was.”

“No complaints,” Cyrax assured him, leaning to one side and smirking. “Fang may have contempt for you, but he wouldn’t risk pissing off the Grandmaster.”

The messiah, Hanzo believed his name was Kuai Liang, tilted his head side to side like he was considering that.

“Yes. You are probably right,” he finally admitted with a frustrated sigh. “If you do hear anything though, please let me know.”

Cyrax hummed, raising an eyebrow before saying “alright, spill.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “What’s gained your attention this time?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Kuai said innocently enough, looking at Cyrax with a pout and puppy dog eyes, far more suited to a child than a religious leader.

“You know damn well what I’m talking about Kuai Liang,” Cyrax fired back and Hanzo couldn’t help but hold his breath. It was such an informal way of speaking to someone who was technically his superior, Hanzo almost considered grabbing his phone to catch the aftermath that would surely follow. “I know you, and I know how nosey you are. Something, or someone, has caught your eye, and you’ve come to investigate.”

“I’m not nosey, I’m inquisitive, thank you very much,” Kuai replied, brushing down his outfit like it was dirty. It was now Hanzo was closer that he could tell just how much nicer the man’s clothes were than anyone else’s. His robe looked silky and comfortable, while also being extremely ornate. It was clear that his supposed status earned him luxuries the rest of the group did not get. “And maybe I’m just interested in the new people, we’ve never accepted new members during my lifetime.”

Cyrax didn’t reply, just continued to stare at Kuai. Weirdly Hanzo could sense Kuai squirming internally from the gaze.

“Alright, fine, yes there is someone who caught my attention,” Kuai admitted, brushing his hand through his hair. “There was a man near the back, wearing a yellow hoodie and hair in a bun.”

Hanzo felt all air leave his body. That was definitely him that Kuai was talking about. Why he’d taken notice, Hanzo had no idea, but it was the last thing he wanted. He needed to blend in and not stand out, definitely not immediately attract the attention of The Lin Kuei’s most important individual. What the hell did I even do to make him notice me?

“Oh, yeah, I know who you’re talking about,” Cyrax replied, rubbing his chin. “What about him though? He didn’t exactly stand out to me, if I’m being honest.”

“It is probably nothing,” Kuai said, shrugging as he did. “He was just trying a little too hard to not be noticed.”

Hanzo bared his teeth in a grimace. Was his attempt to hide that obvious?

“Weird,” Cyrax drawled, “he could just be shy.”

“Or he’s hiding something,” Kuai retorted and Hanzo held his breath. He’d honestly counted on just falling into the background. He hadn’t accounted for the possibility that any of the cult members would be that observant.

Let alone their so-called messiah.

Hanzo took a step backwards, and cursed when the floorboard creaked extremely loudly from his weight. Both Kuai and Cyrax stopped their conversation, and he knew they had to be looking towards the doorway. Maybe if he styled it out enough, he could make it look like he was just coming through.

He stepped outside, trying to look indifferent, and like he hadn’t been listening in to their conversation.

“Uh, sorry,” he muttered, attempting to continue walking past them.

“Wait!”

Hanzo froze at the sound of Kuai’s voice, seconds later an unnaturally cold hand was taking his and spinning him to face him. Hanzo was certain he must have looked like a deer in headlights as Kuai smiled up at him.

“You’re a new recruit right?” Kuai said in an innocent tone, like he hadn’t been talking about Hanzo just seconds ago. It was actually unnerving how sincere he sounded. Someone who could lie so well and so casually could only mean trouble.

“Um. Yes. Hanzo Hasashi, Your… Grace…” Hanzo wasn’t sure how he should be addressing Kuai Liang, but clearly that way in particular amused him greatly as he began to giggle.

“So formal!” Kuai lightly patted his chest. “There is no need.” He grimaced slightly. “Well, actually you might want to refer to me as My Lord in front of the Grandmaster and Elders, but otherwise Kuai Liang is fine!”

“I… See…” Hanzo wasn’t sure if Kuai was just trying to seem more personable to ease the nerves of newcomers or if he was trying to get something from Hanzo.

“No need to be so shy, Hanzo. I don’t bite.” Kuai pulled back ever so slightly, making a very obvious point to look him up and down. A wicked grin came over his face as he added on “I mean, not unless you want me to~”

Kuai winked at him, and all Hanzo could do was splutter in response. All Hanzo knew at that moment was that his entire face was hot, and that his flustered reaction was clearly delighting Kuai.

“Alright, easy boy,” Cyrax finally chimed in, putting a hand on Kuai’s shoulder. “You are a menace, stop teasing our new recruits.”

“I’m just being friendly,” Kuai insisted, practically giving Cyrax puppy dog eyes again.

“Yeah. Too friendly. Go be a pain in the ass somewhere else,” Cyrax shot back, it was clear from his tone he was teasing, yet Hanzo still couldn’t help but freeze slightly. How the hell Cyrax could be so comfortable being so rude to Kuai, even in jest, he didn’t know.

“Fine, spoil sport.” Kuai stuck his tongue out at Cyrax, before turning his attention back to Hanzo. “I’ll see you around, hope you settle in well.”

Kuai finally let go of Hanzo’s hand, before turning on the spot and walking off, lazily waving over his shoulder with one hand. Hanzo waited until he’d rounded a corner and disappeared before turning to look at Cyrax again, who was giving him a sympathetic smile.

“Sorry about that. Kuai Liang can seem a little full on when you first meet him,” he explained with a fond chuckle. It was starting to become clear to Hanzo that they were legitimately close, and not just in the form of a religious leader and a worshipper. “He’s still getting used to his role too. I promise he means well.”

Well. You probably would think that. Hanzo chose not to voice that thought, instead asking “about the whole messiah thing. How exactly did that happen?”

“I don’t know, really. They’ve been very quiet about it.” Cyrax rubbed the back of his head. “The Grandmaster and Elder’s were witness to it, but it’s like they’re all sworn to secrecy.”

“Right.” That just confirmed the whole thing was bullshit in Hanzo’s mind. It was all just very convenient for everyone involved to not be able to talk about it. “Um. Anyway, I’m going to go look around, if that’s okay.”

“Sure thing.” Cyrax patted Hanzo’s shoulder a couple of times. “If you need anything, please come find me.”

“Will do.” He bit his lip, and watched as Cyrax walked away.

Letting out a sigh of relief, he went to reach into his sleeve to retrieve his phone. He needed to see if the others were ready to meet, and write some notes about his close encounter with the messiah.

Only when he felt where it should have been, it wasn’t there.

He felt a pang of panic wash over him, clawing at the place it should have been. He glanced around the ground, wondering if he'd dropped it somehow. But he couldn’t have. He would have felt it, surely. Probably would have heard it too. Yet it was nowhere to be seen.

Icy fingers clinging to his hand came back to mind.

“Oh no,” he whispered to himself, the horrified realisation at what potentially happened hitting him at once. “But how the hell could he have…”

That didn’t matter. He could figure that out later. Right now, he needed to find Kuai Liang, and make sure his operation wasn’t squashed before it had even begun.

“Tch, what an idiot,” Kuai giggled to himself as he walked along the rooftop, holding his prize, Hanzo’s phone, up in the air triumphantly. A sleeve was such a shitty hiding place. He’d have done better putting it into his underwear than tied to his arm. “Then again, I am the king of contraband. Rookie didn’t stand a chance.”

He wasn’t sure who he was talking to. Himself, most likely. Maybe Cetrion. She was probably listening and watching over him, right? Maybe? He didn’t know.

He tilted his head as he looked at the device. He’d seen phones before when looking through the latest confiscations, but this one seemed particularly fancy. As he sat down, he pressed a button on the side, the screen lighting up and showing a picture of a pretty woman.

“Ooh, wonder who she is.” Kuai wasn’t really into women, despite the Grandmaster’s attempts to set him up with a wife. If he had to choose a woman to settle down with though, he could see himself being at least comfortable with one like her.

He had played with a few of the confiscated phones in the past, enough to know he had to make a swiping motion with his thumb to get to the main meat of the device. As he did so, a number pad popped up on the screen with the word “passcode” written above it.

“Drat,” Kuai hissed, noticing a button that said “hint”. He clicked it, hoping it would be something he’d understand, only to huff as he read aloud “Harumi’s birthday? Who the heck is Harumi?”

The thought occurred that was the name of the woman set as the phone’s background. His frustration diminished slightly, as he cancelled the passcode request. He stared at the woman, now dubbed Harumi until he found evidence to the contrary. Clearly she was someone close to Hanzo, if he held her photo so close to him, and made her Birthday his password. She looked too young to be his Mother, but too old to be a daughter, so a sister or wife then?

He idly swiped his finger across the screen, not entirely sure what it would accomplish, until a new screen came up. It took him a few seconds to realise it was a camera.

He gasped slightly. “Awesome!”

He held the phone up, trying to figure out the best shot of the compound. He assumed the big circle on the screen was what he needed to take the photo. He clicked a couple of times, getting different shots of the landscape. For as isolated as this compound was, it was at least surrounded by quite beautiful scenery.

Not that most got the chance to see it. Kuai only had because he was the only person unafraid to clamber onto the rooftops.

“Hmm, what does this button do?” He wondered aloud as he clicked a small button shaped like a more traditional camera, with circular arrows inside it. As soon as he clicked it, he was met with his own face staring back at him. “Oh!” He squealed in excitement, holding out his arm as far as he could to try and get as much of himself in the frame as possible. He began indiscriminately hitting the shutter button, taking photos of himself with all sorts of facial expressions. “Oh, this is such fun! No wonder the outsiders love these things, they’re fantastic!”

He was about to take another couple of photos of himself, when he noticed a strange little pop up at the top of the screen. When he brought it close enough to see, he realised it was a message of some kind.

[JC said: Hey man. We’re gonna meet at the big apple tree.]

Kuai frowned, clicking on the notification, only to be met with the passcode screen again.

“Damn it all!” He let himself flop backwards, looking up at the sky. How could he find out the passcode for this stupid thing? There had to be some way other than just brute forcing it. He could see the blurred picture of the woman in the background and his eyes widened. “If she’s that precious to him, maybe he has some other keepsakes of her.” He shot back upright and exclaimed “Kuai Liang, you are a genius!”

He slipped the phone into his pocket, scrambling to his feet and running as carefully as he could across the roof. Careful, was the keyword. The last time he was a little too heavy footed he wound up falling through to the floor below. The Grandmaster was less than impressed. And given it was before Lady Cetrion’s gift, he had paid dearly for his mistake.

His back stung just thinking about it.

“No, not thinking about that right now.” Really, he never wanted to think about that ever again. Yet his mind always seemed to wander back to it. He knew the torture room was still there, lying untouched in a layer of dust. He’d been in a few times, staring at the implements that just months ago had been frequently used on him.

Sometimes, he held the whip in his hand, almost longing for the sting of it against his skin once more.

Punishment was all he knew. Punishment was all he craved.

“No. Not now. Maybe later,” he hissed to himself as he came to a halt at the edge of the roof.

He held out a hand, concentrating until a bridge of ice began to form. He stepped onto it, before sharply forcing the ice down, and he slid along it until finally he hit the floor.

He brushed himself down. Taking a deep breath and then making his way towards the dorm buildings. As he entered the door he paused for a second, trying to listen and see if anyone else was inside. It sounded empty, but he knew that didn’t always mean it was. Still he walked over towards a bulletin board, quickly glancing down the list of names.

“Ah, there. Hasashi. H.” He pointed at the name and traced across to the room number. “Room 5. Got it.”

Making his way down the corridors, he was careful to peer into every room and make sure they were empty. So far, they seemed to be. It didn’t hurt to be cautious though. He continued, until finally getting to room five. He poked his head around the doorframe, checking if the coast was clear. He let out a sigh of relief when it was.

He quickly entered, glancing around and snorting. The problem with these extremely barebones and unpersonalised quarter’s is that he couldn’t tell which bunk and chest was Hanzo’s. He clicked his tongue. Just standing staring wouldn’t help him, he needed to start digging through the chests to see if he could find a clue.

He went to the first, opening the heavy wood and being thankful the elders insisted on no locks outside of important functions. This chest had very little in it, a few fiction books and that was about it. Granted one looked very interesting, and as he skimmed the writing on the book cover it implied the book was very heavy on the sexual content. He half debated pinching it, but quickly decided against it. If he could figure out whose chest this was, he might be able to slickly persuade them to give it up as a recommendation.

He put everything back, going to the next chest. It was also devoid of anything of interest. It was very much the same for the next 2 chests. He was beginning to wonder if he was hoping for too much, until he opened the 5th chest and a photograph taped to the inside immediately caught his eye.

A photograph of the same woman as the phone’s background.

“Hello,” he drawled, reaching for the small piece of paper and taking a better look at it. It was definitely her, Harumi. In fact, he was almost certain it was the exact same photo, or at least she’d been in a very similar pose. “That’s sad though, does he only have one photograph of her? I have more with Bi-Han, and we’re from an anti-technology society.”

He glanced inside the chest, and it really had nothing all that interesting in it. Just some clothes, a few hair ties and a small notebook. He opened it, but it was completely empty.

Kuai sighed, holding the photo up and staring at it. He almost wished Miss Harumi, whoever she was, could be here to tell him her stupid birthday. It’d make his life so much easier. Suddenly, he got the urge to flip over the photograph, to see if there was anything useful on the back. There, scribbled in pen, was a simple note.

Harumi’s 30th Birthday. 15th April 2020.

“Got it!” Kuai couldn’t help but consider how idiotic it was to have a bit of paper lying around that had your passcode written on it, but that dumb decision had made his life 100 times easier.

So, there were now a couple of choices for what the code was. Given it indicated it was six numbers long, it could either be day month year, or month day year, depending on which way Hanzo wrote it. He supposed year month day was also a possibility. If Miss Harumi was 30 in 2020, that meant she was born in 1990.

To start with, he put in 150590, to no success. Then 051590, and once again it was not accepted.

After he typed in 900515, he found the phone opened to a new screen, with a lot of buttons and options. Got it! Now he just needed to remember that number, 900515.

“I am so smart,” he giggled, as he put the photo back in its place. “No wonder Lady Cetrion chose me if the rest of the world is this dumb.”

Ironic, really, considering he’d spent his entire life being told he was stupid.

Either way, with everything back in place, he didn’t stick around the dorm. He didn’t really feel like explaining to any random recruit why he was snooping around. Hurrying out of the building, he rushed over to the building he’d been sitting atop earlier. He found the gutter that he generally climbed up, making swift work of scaling the building. Once he was on the roof, he sat at the edge, pulling the phone out again.

“9-0-0-5-1-5,” he whispered to himself as he put it into the phone again.

The menu popped up again, and while Kuai wanted to investigate and see what all these buttons did, he first wanted to find out what that message had been about. He clicked the corresponding button, finding that there was only one conversation on it. When he clicked it, he quickly realised there were multiple participants. He scrolled up to the top, but there wasn’t really much.

[S said: Remember to stick to the plan.] [S said: I will attempt to get hold of any sorts of paper work or files they have.] [S said: JX will try to get into any locked rooms, see what they’re hiding in those.] [S said: JC is gonna make good with the members, try to get as much as possible out of them.] [S said: H will document everything, either via photographs, audio or video.] [S said: K is joining us in a couple of weeks, hopefully bringing some supplies depending on what we need.] [S said: We need as much evidence as we can get if we have any hopes of taking these sons of bitches down.] [JC said: Thanks for reminding us of what we talked about 5 seconds before coming here.] [JX said: Also remember to delete all messages at the end of every day. Preferably every hour, to be honest.] [JX said: If any of them manage to get one of our phones, we need as little evidence of a co-ordinated procedure on them as possible.]

“Well, Hanzo screwed that for you already JX.” Kuai rolled his eyes. For all the effort these people went to, you’d think they’d have done a little better at keeping a low profile. Regardless, he continued reading the messages.

[H said: What we really need to try and lean into is the cruelty angle. There have been rumours for years of extreme cases of abuse, we need to expose that first and foremost. Their belief system being a fraud is also important.]

“Fraud? Who are you calling a fraud you bastard?” Kuai hissed between his teeth. He was a lot of things, but a fraud was absolutely not one of them. “And as for the cruelty, I hate to break it to you but you’re about a year too late for that one, dumbass.”

The next message was the one that had popped up earlier, and Kuai was tempted to send his own message. The question was, did he want to play pretend as Hanzo for a while and lead them on or did he want to scare the shit out of them right off the bat by revealing himself. Both options sounded like they could be entertaining to be honest.

He stared across towards the apple tree, spotting three figures standing around underneath it. Kuai smirked to himself, doing a few gestures on the phone until he’d brought up the camera again. He held it up, pointing towards the tree and snapping a picture. He returned to the message thread, selecting a button that looked like a picture and finding all the photos he’d taken came up. It seemed Hanzo had not yet taken any photographs, as only the ones Kuai had taken were there. Regardless he clicked the one he’d just taken, and without typing anything, hit the little arrow button.

[H has sent a photo] [JC said: Uh… Dude? You alright? What’s going on?]

Kuai smirked to himself, clicking on the picture button again. Scrolling through to find his favourite photo of himself. Once he’d found one he liked, one where he was winking and sticking his tongue out, he clicked it and then the send button, excited for the reception he was going to get.

[H has sent a photo] [JC said: What. The. Fuck?] [JC said: What is going on? Dude? H? If you’re there, say something.]

Kuai began kicking his feet as he excitedly chuckled to himself.

This was going to be so much fun.

Hanzo felt like he’d searched the entire compound, short of the private quarters of the cult's elders. He could not find the messiah for the life of him. His gut twisted, terrified he’d been found out already, only hours into arriving. If they found some of what was on there, they’d know he was here to be a whistleblower. At best, he’d be ejected from the compound, and at worst?

Well, he’d likely find out first hand just how cruel the cult could be.

He reached the end of a particularly large building, pulling on his hair as he breathed heavily. He had no idea what to expect. He couldn’t believe he’d been so stupid. How on earth had the messiah managed to grab the phone without him noticing anyway? Regardless of if the messiah stuff was bullshit, Kuai Liang was clearly sneakier than Hanzo gave him credit.

“Looking for something?” A sing-song voice called out to him. Hanzo frowned, it sounded somehow like it had come from above him.

He looked towards the top of the building, where over the edge of the roof, Kuai was sitting with his legs dangling down. He held up one of his hands, and dangling precariously between his fingertips was Hanzo’s phone. Kuai wore a huge grin on his face, clearly aware of the position he had Hanzo in.

“I must say these mobile telephones are fantastic aren’t they? The camera is a lot of fun, I don’t understand why we don’t have them,” Kuai continued like nothing was off about this situation. Like he didn’t hold the power to completely destroy everything Hanzo was working for. “Your messages were very interesting though.” Shit, shit, shit, how the hell has he managed to get in to read the messages? I had a passcode on it. “Oh, by the way, your little entourage is waiting for you over by the big apple tree. They seemed very confused by the photos of myself I sent them from your phone.”

Hanzo didn’t reply, the entire group was potentially rumbled because he’d been careless with his phone. He still did not understand how Kuai could have gotten through the passcode. It was Harumi’s birthday, there was no way Kuai could have known that, or even brute forced it. Outside of going through Hanzo’s belongings, that is.

A photograph he stuck to the inside of his trunk came to mind. A photograph of Harumi, Satoshi and himself celebrating Harumi’s birthday. And he would have written the date on the back.

His face dropped. How the fuck could I have been that stupid? Hanzo had done a lot of foolish things before, but this was beyond the pale. He really had just fucked up their entire investigation.

As he looked up to Kuai Liang, a triumphant grin on the messiah’s face.

“Ah, did it just dawn on you how I figured out your passcode?” Kuai taunted, as despite how light and carefree he sounded, there was a very dark undertone to his voice. “You aren’t very bright, are you?”

“What do you want?” Hanzo snarled. He didn’t understand what Kuai Liang was getting out of this. Surely it’d be more advantageous to him to immediately report this to his elders. Was he really so cruel as to want to taunt someone beforehand?

Kuai actually giggled at Hanzo’s response, leaning over the edge to sneer at him. “I’d be a little more polite if I were you. I might be quite enamoured by this technology, but I’m sure the Grandmaster won’t be quite as thrilled, especially if he reads through your messages.”

“You-“ Hanzo bit his tongue, what the hell was the messiah’s game here? “What are you going to do?”

Kuai tilted his head back and forth, like he was pretending to think really hard about it. The childish taunting action was enough to make Hanzo’s blood boil. He had to remain calm though, remember who he was dealing with. It was well within Kuai Liang’s power to make this 100 times worse for him.

“Why don’t we make a deal?” Kuai offered, leaning over the edge just a little further. “You let me keep this fancy bit of technology and I won’t tell the Grandmaster about the little investigation you and your friends are supposedly doing.”

“What? No!” He couldn’t let Kuai Liang keep the phone. He needed it to keep track of his investigation, document and contact the others. He couldn’t just give it to someone else. “I can’t do that.”

“Oh. A shame.” Kuai pouted slightly. “Seems the Grandmaster is going to learn about your little operation here and-“

“Please don’t.” Hanzo had no idea what he was hoping to accomplish by begging. He was just desperate to not get caught.

“Then, let me keep the phone,” Kuai demanded, his voice the most serious Hanzo had heard since he got here. As they stared at each other, Kuai narrowed his eyes. “Let me put it this way, I am going to get this phone either way. It’s just that with one of the choices, I won’t put you and your little friends on the Grandmaster’s shit list.”

Hanzo felt his resolve falter. While he needed the phone, he needed to stay undiscovered more. If giving up the phone would give them a bit more time, then he’d have to do it. They’d be able to come up with another plan for gathering evidence.

“If I agree, you won’t tell anyone?” He questioned, biting back his embarrassment.

“You have my word,” Kuai softly told him, placing a hand over his heart.

“Why though? What will you get out of this?” He just could not understand Kuai’s motives. What he basically had was the ultimate blackmail material. Why was a shiny toy all he wanted in exchange?

“Well, I get this nifty thing for a start,” Kuai replied, holding up the phone triumphantly. He looked genuinely excited to have it. Hanzo supposed for someone who’d been cut off from technology for most of his life, this would be a novelty. “But, I suppose I’m also interested to see what you uncover.” Kuai tilted his head. “And your reactions when you realise I’m not the fraud you think I am.”

Ah. Kuai had definitely looked through all the messages then. Weird that he seemed particularly offended by that word. It did seem to imply that Kuai Liang genuinely believed he was the messiah, and that just made him a lot more dangerous. That thinking was the sort that got people killed. Hanzo only hoped they could figure a way to shut this down before that happened.

“Okay,” he finally said. “Okay, you can have the phone, just, please do not tell anyone why we’re here.”

“Your secret is safe with me, Hanzo.” Kuai pushed himself so he stood up on the edge. “I would go and meet with your friends if I were you, they were quite concerned for your wellbeing.”

Before Hanzo could reply, Kuai turned and disappeared from view as he walked back across the roof. Hanzo just placed his head in his hands, groaning loudly. He wasn’t sure he’d made the right choice, or if he should have ever believed Kuai was telling the truth. But he guessed he’d find out soon enough.

He didn’t wait around, he needed to find the others and explain what had happened. Hopefully, they wouldn’t be too angry with him for almost fucking everything up. As he made his way from between the buildings, he saw the tree in question, where Jax, Johnny and Sonya stood under. When they spotted him, all three came over in a half-walk half-jog.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ man,” Johnny exclaimed as he reached them. “We were getting worried about you. Thought they’d got you already.”

“Might as well have,” Hanzo muttered, rubbing his temple. “Somehow, their so-called messiah managed to get my phone off me.”

“That… explains the selfies,” Johnny mumbled, and Hanzo almost did a double take. The idea that Kuai’s first instinct on getting access to the phone was to take photos of himself was inconceivable. Then again he did say he’d sent pictures of himself.

“Did you get the phone back?” Jax asked hopefully.

“No. The best I could do was get him to agree not to tell anyone about it, in exchange for him keeping the phone.” And he realised saying it out loud how dumb it was for him to do that.

“Do you think he’ll keep his end of that bargain?” Jax shifted on his feet, clearly anxious about this turn of events.

“Hard to say. He’s so fucking manic, I can’t tell what he’s thinking.” Hanzo looked over his shoulder, in the distance he could see Kuai Liang still standing on the roof. “I mean, he seemed genuinely enamoured with the phone, so. Maybe.”

He looked back at the three of them, Johnny and Jax seemed a little more relaxed, but Sonya was looking unconvinced.

“Sonya, I’m so sorry,” he started shaking his head. “I just… Fuck, I didn’t know what to do.”

“No, it’s okay. I think given the circumstances you did the best thing,” she admitted, straightening herself out and placing her hands on her hips. “We’re going to need to have a change of plans though. Jax, given you and I are sticking together for most of the time, you might need to give your phone to Hanzo for now. I’ll make sure Kenshi knows that he’ll need to bring an extra when he gets here.”

“Fair enough.” Jax reached into his pocket, passing the phone to Hanzo. “The passcode is 100892.”

“Thank you,” Hanzo breathed out a sigh of relief. Slipping the new phone into his sleeve, he needed to find a way to make sure this one wouldn’t be found. Although maybe Kuai would be sated with just the one. Who knew with him being the way he was.

“As for messaging, we’ll make a new group chat for our plans, but keep the old one open,” Sonya continued and Hanzo couldn’t help but frown at her with that. “It’s a long shot, but maybe Kuai Liang will make some incriminating statements in it.”

Hanzo nodded, that actually made sense. Kuai seemed a little all over the place, and in his excitement over the technology, might very well leave very hard evidence of the cults wrong-doings. He felt the phone vibrate as if on cue. Given Johnny had his phone out, Hanzo didn’t bother to get his. Johnny stared at the phone with an incredulous look on his face.

“Yeah, not sure about that,” Johnny claimed. “He’s just messaged asking if any of us are the owner of the chest with the pornographic novel in it?”

There was silence between the four of them for a few seconds. Sonya eventually sighed.

“Lord give me strength to get through this mission,” she grumbled and Hanzo couldn’t help but nod in agreement.

Whatever God was out there, he could only hope they’d help them get through this in one piece.

#mortal kombat #subscorp #kuai liang #sub zero #scorpion #hanzo hasashi #🖤for warmth you’ll be longing nightingale

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fearlessjournalism · 3 days ago

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Hello! I'd love to know 2, 6, 22, 34, 39, 40 for the movie asks!

2. what movie do you wish you could unwatch?

answered but you know what because I keep seeing people talk about it on reddit and because I recently rewatched and had fun with the first movie I will add one. fuck you kingsman: the golden circle.

6. do you prefer movie theaters or your couch?

theaters!! I mean ok I literally do not own a couch bc my apartment is too small for that but I get what they mean lol and my answer is still theaters. im genuinely so bad at sitting down and starting a movie on my own, and even if I manage to start it, sometimes it’ll take me days to finish because I get distracted by other things. the theater I go to has a tonnn of rescreenings in addition to new stuff so bc I have a monthly pass I end up going to see things I never would’ve watched on my own.

22. have you ever watched a horror film so scary you had to turn the movie off or walk out of the theater?

I tapped out of midsommar lmao. like i’ll go back and finish it at some point bc I do want to see the whole thing, but at a certain point while I was watching it I was like “hold on I literally don’t have to do this.” I don’t know if that was a “too scary” thing so much as an “ok that’s gross” thing but either way I have not watched the whole film yet.

34. which film is the most visually beautiful?

I am such a big colors enthusiast so almost all of these are going to fit that category lmao. technically i’ve only seen two of them BUT I really enjoy the visual style that denis villeneuve’s movies tend to have, so arrival and blade runner 2049 are up there. the two nicolas winding refn movies i’ve seen (drive and neon demon) were also really visually nice even if there is something I do not trust about that man. macbeth (2015) is a banger visually and tbh so is the tragedy of macbeth (2021) just in a different way.

also this doesn't count since it's not a whole film but i do want to shoutout basically anything douglas trumbull did effects for. like those major sequences (such as the 2001 stargate scene) will inevitably be long as hell but they will look cool.

39. in your opinion what is the most underrated movie?

oh god I truly have no idea. I feel like I do pretty often agree with the general consensus and when I don’t it tends to be in the “I think it was overrated” direction. idk nine to five is a 3.9 on letterboxd which is a good rating and yet I think we could go higher with it so i’ll count that.

40. a film you think everyone should see at least once

answered by way of a whole ramble but i’m just gonna scroll through my letterboxd to find others that I really like. past lives is a more popular one but is genuinely really good. saving face is also really good let's go lesbians. say anything is a movie I was pleasantly surprised by. gaslight is another older one that when people say it’s a classic they’re completely right. yay movies!

[movie asks] [ask box]

#tysm!!#ask game

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 3 years ago

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the way izzy was received by this fandom rlly is the worst combo of how fans responded to kylo ren and how fans responded to, like, tyler durden or walter white.

anything i could say comparing izzy fans and kylo fans was already said in this fucking incredible post by @chuplayswithfire. but basically: izzy is a huge cunt to everyone in this show but fans take him at his word when he talks about being hardworking and competent, they minimize and excuse his actions and act like he's an innocent traumatized baby, and they focus on him, a shitty white antagonist, instead of any of the other interesting characters of color they could be paying attention to

but imo the thing that rlly makes a difference between izzy and kylo, and the thing that makes me compare him to those other two white dudes i mentioned above, is that unlike the movies kylo ren is in, ofmd is actually well-written

the first movie in the star wars sequel trilogy was pitched, written, filmed, and literally released with no ending for the trilogy in mind. the writing for the next movies was adjusted based on fan reactions, and major plot points were decided by studio executives deciding which events would make the movie more profitable. i should not have to explain to you that this is a terrible way to write a movie series. or a television series. or literally any kind of fucking story in the world.

our flag means death, or what we have of it so far, is not that. there's fully developed characters with given realistic motivations, instead of one-dimensional props that are jerked around by a constant tug-of-war between writers, directors, and studio executives. there are narrative plot points that are woven expertly throughout the story, not hints of storylines that are completely forgotten about by the next franchise, or storylines that were finished that are getting dug up again. there's a central theme to ofmd, unlike the new star wars movies, where the theme seems to be "how can we milk this fucking franchise for all it's worth." there's no goddamn queerbaiting

i'll admit that i've never actually seen breaking bad, and everything i know about it i've learned via tumblr osmosis. but from what i can tell, it's actually a very well-written show, and the whole point of the show is that walter white is the epitome of entitled and abusive white man who thinks he's super tough and badass and that everyone should listen to him and do whatever he tells them to do (lmao, sound familiar?). he ruins his life and the lives of everyone around him and idk he might die in the end. anyway dont do drugs.

fight club i have seen, and i can confirm that this is a fantastic movie that features, you guessed it, an arrogant white guy who represents the classic violent male power fantasy. the narrator, deeply depressed because he's a beta male, watches jealously from the sidelines as tyler durden starts seeking violence, first from just meeting up with random guys for consensual beatdowns, but it escalates as more and more men start joining the fight club (wow! the title of the movie!) until the club morphs into a terrorist group. also if you haven't seen it there's a Big Plot Twist that i haven't mentioned and it's pretty good. love that movie.

anyway the point is that both of those men are very obviously. shitty fucking guys. classic macho men (even tho tyler durden's fashion sense is fantastically fruity, for some reason) who crave power over others and respect in the form of fear. the whole point of their fucking characters is that in any generic action movie, they would be the heroes

and so many fans just. completely fucking miss this. there are hoards of dudebro fan guys who relate to these characters and go "wow, he's just like me!" and absolutely do not get the point of the thing they're watching. it is fucking baffling to see

anyway that's izzy stans!! an truly groundbreaking combo of your classic female fans who woobify evil white men and classic male fans who miss the entire point of characters who are written to subvert the expectations of what kind of role a character like izzy hands, walter white, or tyler durden would be expected to play!!!!! izzy hands is written to be an antagonist and the personification of toxic masculinity that ed is trying to escape from, and yet people are acting like he's the show's third protagonist.

because izzy would be a protagonist, in a different and much shittier story. and even though we all watched the same show where he very clearly is not the protagonist, people are applying that role to izzy and not actually looking at what role he plays in this show.

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skyyclan · 2 years ago

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I saw DND and Clangen being mentioned in the same post so HI THERE I'M A CLANGEN MASTER. Lmao, aight, I'll go ahead and explain what my friends and I have been up to because I'm chatty and this is 2AM. First step is to gather up the nonsensical beings in you closet and/or life then tell them that you're playing a funny cat game. (Very necessary.)

I got to thinking about what you could do in order to have a "fun time" in Clangen. Of course, you have tons of challenges available, but those are for solo-players. Then I got to looking at DND. Anyhow, the story ends with me gathering my friends and handing them the precious jewels of life - dices - and we can now get onto the mechanics.

Before You Begin: If you want true chaos, let the gremlins you know be in charge of coming to a consensus of what to name the Clan. Be sure to ban anything you don't want before that happens. Oh, and be aware they will spite you. If these people know DND, they will come for your soul.

First: Every player must designate a cat to play as. It can be any cat outside of an elder. Once we have our cats, the others will be NPCs. I decided to go ahead and give them a bit of lore (like, for example, Sleekfeather was previously a den mom in another Clan, but she lost all of her kits and now cannot stand anything to do with them in her grief). There's a reason for this we'll bring up later.

Second: Stat rolls! Well, more accurately, exp and ability rolls. I decided that the lowest exp a cat (who was an adult) could get was 50 and the highest was 200. We used a random number generator here to determine what number everyone was assigned. (Suggestion: Max it at 150 exp for more challenge.) Then, for the abilities, I decided to go ahead and just set up a random wheel and roll. Although, if you wanna use your shiny dice, you can totally split up the abilities into groups then assign from there. Whatever works.

Third: Everyone makes up a backstory and rename their cats if they so choose. This is important so you know who meshes with who. For example, my friend made this grumpy dude named Litterleaf who was basically a plant gremlin. Our medicine cat was also a plant gremlin, so we decided that Litterleaf and Meowingtonflower would have the beginnings of a romance added into the game. (File editing this was fun.) You're basically establishing the dynamics of your party while probably screaming on Discord.

Fourth: It's time to have fun! Your prep work is done and the campaign will tell itself. I personally established "success rolls" with everyone and the corresponding cats beforehand. Someone like Meowingtonflower, who was nice to everyone, would almost never go with do not proceed or antagonize. I had to roll a 1 for an antagonize to occur. Turn those personalities and relationships into numbers, folks! Though, if that doesn't fit ya, you can always do a random wheel that splits everything up for you.

I like to do around 6 or 12 moons per game. It gives me plenty of time to edit the files as needed and weave in plot points. Right now, we have an uprising against the tyrant leader being plotted... but it's being headed by a Dark Forest cat who keeps whispering in our ears. The tyrant has a secret past where she had a loving family, but someone took that away. Her mind is scrambled and her thoughts are going wild. She can't take it anymore.

I highly suggest going into this with no plot and letting the generator tell a story for about 6 or so moons. After that, you can either make a plot to work in or tell what's being told. Usually, it's a fun afternoon/night with your friends where you scream. One of my friends was on the verge of tears as her cat, Gloryglitter, was nabbed by twolegs then returned the next day with a hot random dude and, after saying she wanted to Gloryglitter romance him, she rolled a nat 20. I hadn't even figured out who this dude was yet. It just happened and we all had to accept it. (I named him George and he was a random himbo who has the brain of a pebble, but he loves kids and he'll love you too.)

Once a cat retires or dies, I let my friends do one of two things: grab a child (or (great-)grandchild) their character had and spring off of them or we go randomize a new character (with minor tweaks allowed) on CatGen. They can also just choose a random NPC, but I found that I got attached to my NPCs and refused to let go. Similar happens if the cat gets lost. In the case a cat is lost, we generally accept that the player has two characters now. That's what ended up happening in Gloryglitter's situation. We had another cat picked out and then Gloryglitter returned the moment we hit next moon.

Oh, and if you wanna add in some magic... I know someone on the Clangen Discord has a magical cat sprite mod. I forget who, but I know one awesome person made it, so... Go check that out if it's of interest!

This might not make sense, BUT- I'm not a logical creature. Little TL;DR: If you wanna DND your Clangen up, lasso all the people you know and force them to play. You can use random wheels to determine your outcome instead of dice. DND Clangen is doable and a lot of fun. You will mourn when the favorite dies.

Sorry for the massive wall of text!! Uh... Yeah! DND Clangen is a lot of fun. I'm currently considering how to just - *grabs Clangen and shakes* - truly turn it into a battle cat DND game. That's for another day and season. Have a good one and stay murderous!

Hey anon I am kissing you on the mouth

Really tho I love this, like this sounds like such a good time and thank you for bringing it into my life I'm going to brainrot so hard over it

#ask #clangen #clangen dnd #fav post

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demadogs · 2 years ago

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You know way more abou this than I do so you're the perfect person to ask. Do you think it's still possible for season 5 of stranger things to come out in 2024? Because the general consensus seems to be now that it will be pushed back to 2025, but that would be a 3 year gap, just like the gap between seasons 3 and 4. But the reason the gap between 3 and 4 took so long was because:

1) they had to suspend filming for more than half a year due to covid, and then they had to film more slowly because of covid measures,

2) they filmed in many different locations meaning that there were gaps between filming scenes from each group since the directors and crew travelled back and forth I guess, and also building sets takes time; but season 5 will all be filmed in the same place so it will take less time,

3) season 4 was almost double lenght compared to season 3, meaning that filming obviously took way more months, but again, they said season 5 episodes will be shorter.

I know post production an editing will be just as long as it was after season 4, but I think filming will be considerably shorter, thus season 5 releasing in 2024 still being very possible (I'd love for it to be on summer since I hyperfixate on this show for months each time a new season comes out so I need it to be on holidays otherwise I'll fail all my exams lmao but I guess I'm asking for too much 😔)

i actually dont know much more than you do to be honest! but i do think 2024 is a good bet and if i had to be specific, im guessing fall. they said they want to go back to the feel of season one so i think it would be very fitting if after the time skip its set in fall. that would make it likely come out in fall 24 (thats not guaranteed tho. s4 was set in spring but came out in summer).

like you said, covid is the main reason the wait was so fucking long. they started filming in february 2020 so they had really bad luck. they barely shot anything and had to wait months to get back. im not sure the different locations played that huge of a role in how much time it extended the filming. they could have had different crew for different settings so they could film russia stuff at the same time as hawkins stuff or something like that. honestly not sure though i could be wrong.

you make a good point about this season being extra long too, but covid allowed them to write the entire season before they started filming so they may have been able to film more at a faster pace since everything was already written.

i dont think you should assume that post production will take the same amount that it did for s4 tho. we have to take into account that its the last season and they always up their visual effects game every time so post production work could take a verrrry long time and they may, and probably will, be doing completely new things which will take more time. will said vecna is hurting but he’s still alive so vecna probably will have a whole new look to him. if they wanna give him a destroyed gross mushy kinda vibe similar to the s3 flesh monster, they wouldnt be able to accomplish that entirely through practical effects like they did vecna this season, so that would extend the post production a huge amount. theres also the whole post apocalyptic vibe that theyll probably be going for in s5. s4 ended with the upside down basically swallowing hawkins so those spore things may be in every outside shot. all that red lighting and clouds may be in every episode. the upside down are real sets but they still gotta animate the vines and make them moving and wet and gross and again, that could be every single episode.

so to sum up, i do think 2024 is likely it just may not be until the fall. i would really love if it was released on november 6th.

#eden answers

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mamamittens · 3 years ago

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October Event Raffle 2022

It’s time to get the ball rolling for the Halloween Raffle!

There will be 13 slots open for grabs! First on the list is first to release as that’s the order I will work through them. They will ideally be spread out through October but if I get delayed there will be clumps of them released several days in a row--I still have a full time job to work around so please be patient!

To enter you must be following!

One ticket – One Reblog!

One ticket – One Like!

Two tickets max.

You can only win once!

Any slots not taken will be left for me to fill.

The raffle will go on for 1 week!

To qualify for NSFW you must have your age on your bio.

I will privately message you and if you don’t respond within 24 hours, you’re out. (Be sure I can actually send you a message)

While there are 13 slots, there aren’t dedicated slots for topics. Instead, I have given a list with many possible topics, and even a separate list for different settings. If you would like to have something not on the lists, feel free to ask! Neither list is set in stone, simply a jumping off point if you don’t have a specific request in mind to start with.

I can and will reject topics if they are not comfortable for me. Off the top of my head, I will not write scat, piss kink, nonconsensual sex (rape), and underage sex. Dubious consent is alright for me to write, but it will be on the more consensual side when possible. I also don’t particularly like writing/reading dismemberment or extreme physical trauma. So, no popping out eyeballs, removing fingers/nails, or removing legs/arms.

Topic ideas!

Vampire

Mummy

Werewolf

Naga/Lamia (Snake person basically)

Demon

Serial Killer

Yandere

Cult

Eldritch Horror

Evil Scientist

Frankenstein

Swamp Thing

Ghost

Aliens

Bodysnatchers

Other spooky topics not listed here!

Settings!

Sci-fi

Fantasy

Medieval

Modern

Fairytale

OG/Canon

Type!

SFW

General- spooky vibes but not overtly sexual, bloody, or otherwise explicit. Ex. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1947) Disney cartoon or any other Disney Halloween special cartoons.

+16- Spooky vibes but can have sexual undertones, outright murder/death, and more explicit horror elements. Ex. Ghostbusters, Beetlejuice, Alien, and Predator.

NSFW

Outright sexual content, detailed death scenes, and very spooky vibes. Must be at least +18 to request and characters involved must be +18 also.

For those of you who would like to request NSFW, please be prepared for me to ask for more details, especially in relation to sexual content. If you aren’t prepared to give me a vibe/kinks to work with, or at least kinks to avoid, perhaps this category isn’t for you.

What fandoms will I write for?

Anything but RPF (Real People Fiction). So, for example, if you want BBC Sherlock that’s fine! But I won’t be writing Brickleberg Cucumberstache or his very good irl friend Martin Freeman. I also will not write for Kpop bands/stars/idols and the like even if you could argue that those are fronts and not really their irl personalities. So, any fandom for games, movies, series, books, or anime. My familiarity with the specific fandom would be helpful but it isn’t required, especially if the request removes the character from their home franchise.

What characters?

I will write for any character, including OCs and SIs, but keep in mind the previously established restrictions and be prepared to give me details about your OC/SI. Including references! I gotta have something to work with! And yes, this includes characters I don't like. It is with a great sigh that I admit I find writing positive content about characters I hate a fun challenge. Might ask what you see in them though (no judgment, we all have problematic faves).

There will be a 14th slot that's just for me and my bullshit. Probably a trick or treat fic with my OCs, idk, I've got time to decide. But that will be the one going out on the 31st! As a special treat for myself lmao

Good luck!

#halloween event #fandom raffle #one piece #i'm well aware most of these are probably going to be for One Piece #but the option is open regardless!

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kurna-kovite · 3 years ago

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The debate on the MBTI of South Park character Tweek Tweak

This is a VERY long, very useless essay I have constructed about Tweek's MBTI type.

I have created this because of discussion on the personality database site.

Right now, the consensus is that Tweek is an ENFP, and I agree with this. However, I see a lot of arguments popping up about Tweek being an ISFJ stuck in a Ne grip. Because I care WAY too much about internet points, I researched and wrote an argument in an effort to convince people of Tweek being an ENFP.

Of course, that's not how internet arguments work, and I'm going crazy that I've put a lot of time into this useless thing that not a lot of people will actually read. So, I'm posting it here, lol. Sure hope it's not full of misinformation that will make me look like a fool.

Here we go.

I may not have been into MBTI for years, but I did a lot of reading to prepare for these arguments, and everything I've learned from arguments here and things online have been super interesting.

So, the general consensus is that inferior grips come into play when under a lot of stress. That makes sense, but why do these grips come into play during these intense situations? To put it simply, it's like they're meant to be a coping mechanism.

The reason I say it implies that you've exhausted your dominant functions, is because that's also the general consensus on what I've read up on. Very high stress situations may cause you to depend on those functions too much, effectively burning them out. That, or those functions just aren't working for the situation they're in, and won't give a good solution, which may stress you out even more. Thus, the inferior function grips because it's attempting to give those other functions a 'break', in an attempt to 'save the day', if you will. It's trying to be the backup when things aren't going right at all.

It's why there are recommendations for what to do when you're in a grip. Step back, meditate or something, just take the time to 'recharge' I suppose so you can think clearly, and fall back to your natural functions.

That's also the reason I disagree with it being a Ne grip. It should be taken into account that Tweek is in extraordinary circumstances; he's faced with this extreme amount of stress every-day, and we've never seen him out of this stress cycle. I haven't seen a moment of clarity where Tweek is significantly less stressed and therefore not reliant on a grip anymore. So this begs the question, is it a grip, or is that just how he is?

Another thing about the idea of a grip, is that it comes with more stress than usual. But assuming that Tweek is under this type of stress everyday because of the fact that he lives in South Park, then… At what point does this kind of stress become the usual?

Basically, what looks like lots of stress to us, is pretty normal for Tweek. I think that stress has become normalized to the point that we can assume that a grip would not be needed anymore, because these are things he experiences everyday.

Going back to my argument with Put It Down, I think that episode shows us the distinction between everyday stress for Tweek, and a tremendous amount of stress. Tweek's everyday stress stems from his anxiety, but it's mostly stress about the things that could happen. However, in Put It Down, we see Tweek dealing with things that are happening to him. This isn't some ridiculous meltdown Tweek is having; North Korea sent a missile over his house 😭 I would say that this is so much more stressful than how he acts in the rest of the series.

So this is why I argue that Tweek is an ENFP who had a Si-grip during the Put It Down episode, because Tweek got pretty narrow-minded and hopeless during the thing, to the point where he could only see the possibility of… North Korea bombing the shit out of him lmao. I went over the evidence for the si-grip in the last argument, but I can copy paste here in the event that someone didn't read that last argument.

"ENFP's stuck in a Si-grip may be 'unable to see any possibilities or hope for the future, ' and 'Worry about whether or not they are healthy or at physical risk. They may feel paralyzed and unable to communicate clearly, as their thinking becomes cloudy and convoluted. They may feel overwhelmed, out of control, unable to sort out their priorities, and inflexible.

'They also may be attracted to stuff that provides security and familiarity. ' "

"Tweek is constantly paranoid about his well-being. I don't see him being all that worried about his health in particular, just about whether or not something's going to get him. It also explains why Tweek is struggling so much in an episode like Put It Down; his thinking is all scrambled, and he can't sort anything out despite there being so many things happening around him. Craig trying to offer him solutions only makes it worse, because he is unable to sort them out and mull over it. He can't consider the possibilities anymore.

Assuming he's in a Si-grip during this episode, then it also states he may feel 'paralyzed and unable to communicate clearly', which is why Tweek wasnt able to tell Craig what he needed. He couldn't quite see through his cloudy thoughts to know what he needed, which led to the communication problems that we saw. "

" 'ENFP's, when under a lot of stress, may see so many possibilities that get only get MORE stressed out, and start feeling alienated or lost. If they can't find a way to manage the stress, they may fall into the grip of their inferior function. '

It explains the way Tweek rants to Craig at the end of the episode. We saw Tweek trying through possible solutions at the beginning, but it just wasn't able to work out for him. So when he finally gets to process his emotions at the end, he explains that,

'I feel scared! I feel alone! '

'That must be horrible! It must be hard to even think! '

'It is! It's terrible! '

'I bet it is! What else are you feeling? '

'Like I have no control over my life. Like I'm just a pawn in a big game! '

'Oh, that's a terrifying thought. You must feel trapped! '

'Yeah! Like trapped, but, completely unable to even move! '

Just in this one scene, we see so many symptoms of a Si-grip. Alienated, lost, overwhelmed, paralyzed, out of control. It makes much more sense to me, that any Si traits he has, only shows up in a form like this. "

That argument also explained that everyday stress, which I think is what Tweek is experiencing, typically makes ENFP's more ENFP like. I think, combined with his unhealthy anxiety and paranoia, this could easily be mistaken for a Ne grip. But in my eyes, I haven't seen enough evidence of a Si-dom to make that true.

Now, I understand that MBTI's aren't exactly black and white, and don't necessarily adhere to the stereotypes, but this also makes the argument for a Si-dom make less sense to me. If our dominant functions are the ones we fall so naturally to, why don't we see solid moments of him using his dominant functions?

The arguments for it seem pretty weak to me. Si-doms have the ability to consider new possibilities with time, but Tweek doesn't take a whole lot of time to consider possibilities. He took less than a minute to accept the possibility, so it doesn't quite make sense to me that this is the usual way an ISFJ will react, since it just happens so… Fast. Not to mention the idea that `anybody can accept new possibilities " isn't a very strong argument to me, either. Sure, I suppose anybody can accept new possibilities, but the point is that ENFPs are more prone to it.

I'll go back to Tweek being visited by the "Ghost of Human Kindness". Tweek didn't need to take any time to mull over it to accept the idea that maybe it was possible to become more trusting in people. He was pretty open to the idea, of course, until it was immediately shot down because… That's just how things go for Tweek 💀 That's why I think these possibility points match ENFP better. When it comes down to it, one of the differences between ISFJ and ENFP is the acceptance of possibilities. Just because ISFJ can accept them, doesn't really show me that it proves the argument for ISFJ more than it does for ENFP, if that makes any sense.

Another thing. Something everyone seems to be forgetting to take into consideration, is that Tweek is on drugs. Like, all the time. It's in his name. Of course, drugs would affect his cognitive functions to some degree, wouldn't they?

I haven't seen much theory on how something like meth would affect cognitive functions in this setting, so I suppose I'm making my own theory. But this meth and caffeine addiction is probably the stark cause of his anxiety and paranoia.

I think inferring that he is misusing his Ne function because he is stuck in a grip, implies that Tweek would also be able to fix all of that by just learning to use his Ne function properly. Instead, I think that the only reason he is unable to use his Ne function in a healthy, ENFP way, is because of outside causes. Of course being high on meth would make Tweek anxious and paranoid, it's a drug side effect, and the fact that Tweek's dominant trait is the one that combs through possibilities only exacerbates this issue. Not to mention, his parents only fuel his unhealthy worries, like in the same 'Child Abduction is Not Funny' episode where Richard taught Tweek never to answer the door for anyone, or he'd die.

It's an unhealthy external factor that Tweek can't fix by learning to use an inferior Ne function properly.

If you take away the meth addiction, and his awful parents, and the fact that he lives in South Park, then I'd be more inclined to believe that it's his own use of the Ne function that's giving him this awful anxiety, and therefore implies that it's his undeveloped inferior function that's in control. But I'd argue that Tweek is a victim of circumstance, and that if you DID take away the meth, parents, and town, all you'd have left is a normal ENFP kid. Of course, it’s not, and never will be that simple. But I don’t think that being an ENFP, and having anxiety are NOT mutually exclusive.

Now, for the argument on Fe vs. Fi. As far as I know, the Fe vs. Fi argument is about how he makes his decisions. Fe's make their decisions based on how they think the repercussions will affect other people, and Fi's make their decisions based on their inner feelings and ideals. It has nothing to do with his need for Craig's reassurance.

Tweek and Kyle was just used as a comparison in another comment, because Kyle is a Fe user, but I find this to be a good way to look at why they’re different. Kyle was trying to get Stan's approval for his actions, which is a very clear usage of Fe to me, and it also sounded like Kyle was trying to convince himself. But I don't see Tweek trying to defend his own actions in an effort to get Craig to tell him his actions were morally okay actions, as much as I only see Tweek trying to either get reassurance that Craig still likes him, or that Tweek is going to be okay.

That's why I'm still firm on my argument for his actions during FBW. He was never trying to get Craig to tell him that his actions were okay, he was just trying to get Craig to see his point of view. It's less that Tweek is trying to get external validation for the actions that he does, and more that Tweek just needs external validation for who he is. Since Fi people tend to be hyper-aware of how they think other people see them, this makes sense to me that he needs a bit of a self confidence boost more than he needs reassurance in his decision making.

Tweek did not weigh the possible repercussions of him walking out on Coon and Friends, but he instead made his decisions based on what he felt and what he thought was right. In contrast to Kyle in the Crack Baby Association episode, Tweek was not defending his actions and trying to get Craig to tell him that he did the right thing. He made his decision, and stood beside it.

A good point is raised about Tweek's actions with the main four. He quickly abandons his moral code when they thought they killed their teacher. My argument for this, again, was that his anxiety overpowers his use of his Fi functions, given that his anxiety and paranoia are separate from his MBTI functions.

"It may take a long time to mull over their own beliefs to make sure they seem right. " If I had to argue, I'd say Tweek hasn't solidified his values yet. Heck, I don't think he's even had a chance to think about it, since he's so stressed with every other aspect in his life. And even if his values told him that he shouldn't be participating in it, I think his anxiety outweighs his desire to stick true to his values.

I think his anxiety and cognitive functions are sort of separate, so anxiety does not define those functions, and the functions do not define his anxiety. So I believe that his paranoia will lead him to ignore his values because he's terrified of these other possibilities, but if you took away that anxiety and paranoia, then I think he'd be much more prone to having a strong moral code, or having the Fi function.

Going back to having Kyle as a comparison, throughout the series, we see him end episodes with 'I learned something today', where he comes to a conclusion usually in an attempt to reconcile whatever conflict is going on. Similar to FBW, when Kyle learned that Timmy was trying to include all the superheroes, he quickly backtracked and apologized, trying to quickly resolve that conflict once he realized it was a bad thing.

I'm also not saying Fe users have to be all good and all knowing. We regularly see Kyle abandon his morality and values, typically in an effort to get back at Cartman. He will stoop down to his level if it means he gets revenge, and while sometimes this means he gets the good, resolved outcome, it still means he put solving conflict over his own moral integrity. The evidence I can think of off the top of my head is the infamous "Why would you say horrible shit about gay people? " line that Craig asked Kyle. Can't remember the episode, but that's one example.

Because Fi and Fe are about how someone makes a decision, it's important to see Tweeks decision making process. The reason I still think he's Fi despite his other actions is because his first, immediate decisions do seem to be based on what he believes is right, and wrong. He didn't want to kill his teacher. He, at first, firmly decided that he wasn't going to be a part of the main four anymore because they thought they killed their teacher. The only reason this decision changed, is because the others quickly take advantage of his anxiety and paranoia, whether they realize it or not. By telling Tweek that he's going to be responsible, and that he might have to take the fall on it, Tweek's anxiety is kicked into overdrive, and overpowers his desire to make decisions based on his values.

The argument on Fe vs. Fi is based on how they make their decisions, whether they consider the feelings of other people when making decisions, or whether they consider their own values and feelings when making a decision. Tweek considering other people's feelings outside of decision making doesn't necessarily make him a Fe, and I believe it's his anxiety that makes him ignore his values.

Another example is, of course, when Tweek has the rocket launcher. He threatens to blow up the prints, unless he gets his friends back(except for Cartman). The reason I think this supports him being Fi is because Tweek isn't considering how the world will react and feel if they see Spielberg's premiere, but he's more concerned about whether he gets his friends back alive. He made a decision based on where his values lay, which was among his friends as opposed to saving the world from seeing this awful premiere.

Now, going to extraversion vs. introversion…

I did some more reading to see the comparisons. I might still be totally off-base here, but in my defense, I'm not finding an explicit difference anywhere.

So I'm still convinced of the extroversion. He's had a history of coming to other people with his issues, and traits of extraversion are having an easier time figuring out their problems when they get to talk out loud and hear other people's input. He goes to his parents, and he goes to Craig.

Tweek also typically directs his energy outwards, to focus on other people and things and situations, rather than internal thoughts and ideas.

Tweek goes to Craig with his issues because he fits into the extraversion trait of needing to talk out his problems and receive outside input in order to figure it out. He does this with his parents, too, although his parents are much less helpful.

I don't think extraversion vs introversion is about how many people he talks about his issues with. It seems to me that it's about where he directs and receives his energy from.

Okay. Moving onto Te vs. Ti.

So, research tells me that, "The Tertiary function can guide you toward areas of life you have avoided, areas that require skills you do not feel comfortable using. "

It also may not develop until later in life, so I'd dare say that's why I claim we don't see it being used much in the series. I don't recall seeing it being used in a more dominant function.

Now, even though it may not fully develop/mature until adulthood, it still will show itself somehow in early life. "For ENFP's, it may affect them by making it difficult for them to be organized and follow through on projects. They may be forgetful, miss steps, or start and leave tasks unfinished. They can also struggle with maintaining objective logic and may have a hard time balancing their eagerness to pursue new possibilities with a logical mindset. "

I think this fits Tweek pretty well. We see him acting pretty disorganized, and we see that he struggled to completely follow through on his 'making hats' project for the Free Hat episode. I also see him consistently struggle to keep an objective logic when he's incredibly anxious. It may seem contradictory that it is described as an 'eagerness to pressure new possibilities', but I think it still matches how Tweek is always so quick to jump to anxious possibilities. This seems unhealthy, but again, I think of it less as signifying a Ne grip, and more as seeing it as his meth addiction/anxiety/paranoia taking and using his dominant functions for the wrong things.

Te is supposed to consider the objectivity of the facts and details, but given that I believe it to be a supportive function, it means we shouldn't see it being predominantly used, and we don't, as far as I know. Tweek still doesn't look at things objectively, and even hates it when Craig gives him the objective facts. The Te tertiary function is supposed to aid an ENFP by helping them see the logic in the possibilities they think of, but because the tertiary function does not typically fully develop and mature until later, added to the fact that Tweek's unfortunate circumstances make him misuse his Ne-dom functions, we don't see that objective, logical thinking anywhere in him for the most part. That's why I see it as fitting for a tertiary function.

This is a more solid document of the argument I have for ENFP Tweek, with most of it being developed after having some other people give some of their ISFJ arguments. Overall, it’s a super interesting argument, and I’ve learned a lot from it, but I do hope some of my arguments are convincing :)

#south park tweek #tweek tweak #south park #mbti #mbti stuff #long post

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alicenpai · 3 years ago

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CONGRATS YALL WE MADE IT! 2021 was turbulent as heck - in 2019-2020 I felt a bit *yawn* with my art, but I'm starting to enjoy my art direction again!! ToT)/

thanks for supporting me throughout 2021!! and I hope I can draw more of what I'm passionate about in 2022! I want to say, let's not hope for a "better 2022", hope for a 2022 where we are all stronger. under the cut: my art summaries from 2010-2020 + my thoughts summing up the year.

2010-2013

2014-2015. 2015 had some really great improvement & works!! what a year to be proud of if I do say so myself

2017 was a BLAST

2018-2020. at art school

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I've been doing digital art for UH. 11 YEARS NOW?!?!?? and it's been a tradition of mine to make an art summary each year, I always look forward to compiling everything, even if the year isn't fruitful. it's still so cool to see everything together.

here are some bullet point takeaways from 2021 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♀️ I posted this on twitter. since there’s no character limit on tumblr, I added some stuff here.

- I was disappointed with my 2019-2020 summaries. I feel like I lost my artistic voice. a LOT of rushed art, trashed drawings. I only saw wasted potential. I struggled to throw anything in my portfolio.

- For years I unknowingly prioritized making quick "aesthetic art for twitter", when I should have readied my portfolio and passion projects instead. It's hurt my skills, portfolio, productivity - and taken me this entire year to realize and unlearn. Fanart that does well online =/= not necessarily portfolio ready.

- I KNOW I can draw better than that. so I took 2021 to reset, take more breaks, and abandon content that no longer sparked joy... don't want to beat a dead horse ya know?? 💀 I had to re-assess what kind of drawings would make me excited and keep the fire going.

- This may be contentious and blunt LMAO - in the past I was delighted by the attention I got for romantic or ship art in particular, but that was an image I no longer wanted to be expected of me. I no longer wanted to associate with the toxicity that ensued online, and the assumptions others made of artists who drew ship content. I’m not purging it from my artistic repertoire entirely of course! but it won’t be like 50% of my work anymore haha.

- Instead, I wanted to draw more niche fanart and originals, even though that wouldn't get a lot of attention. Unpopular content will disappoint people and that’s just a hill I had to get over.

- Trying to grow my audience this year on twitter was a NIGHTMAREEE and caused me a lot of stress. with every drawing a few new people arrived, but the same number of people would yeet. my follow count stayed the same the whole year! I wondered if my art stagnated or if it was because I was inactive or I should jump back to old fandom. But that’s a self destructive, toxic mindset to have. - so I had to step back and take a breather. I discussed the topic with some friends of mine and the general consensus is that this is more of a problem with twitter or instagram??? I assume it has something to do with the fact that follow counts are visible on those platforms.

- I pushed back my writing my story and characters this whole time, but I've forgotten that was the reason I wanted to pursue art in the first place. It’s been really refreshing to revamp OCs. It makes me feel like I’m in high school learning how to draw for the first time.

- in 2022 I want to go back to basics more and focus on things like depicting fabric & drapery, detail, anatomy & structure, expression & body language. I think a lot of my work lends itself to the "boring" side so I want to improve on conveying mood and a statement with my art. I’m not good at portraying expression or making something like. “visceral”. but I’ll do my best (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

^ mood going into 2022

- In 2022 I may be less active. who knows. but I'll try to not worry about things like growing an audience/ unfollows/ my art being non ”aesthetic" HAHA. behind the scenes I'll try my best to work harder and deliver pieces that I can be proud of! and if people like them then that's a bonus!

---

Template credits: 2010: can't rmb LMAO 2011: deviantart.com/dustbunnythump… 2021: I used this template for many yrs bc it's simple, and the allotted space is perfect, not too narrow that you can't see the artwork. お借りしました！ありがとうございます pixiv.net/en/artworks/15…

#art summary #art summary 2021 #my art

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pettyprocrastination · 5 years ago

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for the love of god please give us some austin powers!whiskey headcanons o queen of au's 😔we're just sluts for ur content

My mf babe boo lee validating this dumb au that i love so fucking much aksksks i have like two hours before all the thanksgiving stuff happens so if anybody wants to send me whiskey shit for this au DO IT!!!

warnings: uhh talk of sex and porn, foul language. theres zero organization or skill put into these i just threw ‘em out there lmao

So the general consensus of this au for those who dont know, is an austin powers au. Yes i said that.

Jack “whiskey” Daniels is an statesmen from the 70’s who is hailed as a legend for all the lives hes saved and ploys for global terrorism he’d stopped. In his prime, he was cryogenically frozen until the statesmen would need him at a later date (reasoning behind this is vague, even whiskey himself doesnt remember why. He get flashes of distant memories and emotions around it all, but they're gone as soon as they come.)

Cut to modern time, you’re scotch. One of the best agents who’s known for getting the job done with little to no issues, but not known to be a socializer. You are tasked as agent whiskey’s new partner as he is unfrozen and helping him adapt to the new world.

Now lets get into the fun stuff

With adapting to the new world, you had to teach whiskey about the internet and my god was that tiring.

He still doesn't get the point of dating apps. “I don’t need a little device to help me get laid, i do just fine with my charms and southern hospitality.” you're pretty sure he only says that because he cant figure out how the fuck to use tinder but you let it go.

Whiskey hates porn. Like DESPISES it. This is something he decided to tell you with an “urgent” phone call at three in the fucking morning.

“She’s faking! Thayer all faking!! What’s the point if she doesn’t enjoy it? It’s all a lie! This poor woman looks like she’s in pain!! They’ve made sex a production!! What has this world come to!?!”

You hang up and go back to sleep.

But yeah whiskey hates it. It’s all fake and over the top and just...not what he thinks sex should be.

To him sex isn’t a production or a race. It’s a celebration of attraction between consenting adults.

He enjoys the ametur made stuff, where there’s legitimate attraction between those involved

This doesn't mean he’s vanilla in anyway, he just hates that porn isnt really...sex. Its not mutual pleasure, its all jarring categories, fake moaning and very sexist foundation.

Once he finds the animal video part of the internet? Oh he’s as good as gone. He thin begins to send you links to videos' showcasing friendships between unlikely pairs, such as a sea lion and a horse, or a monkey and a ferret. You don’t tell him that you watch them all late at night when you cant sleep.

He fucking loves nature documentaries. Especially deep sea ones, focusing on fish that light up or are see-through and shit like that.

If you watch them with him you admit its...kind of adorable. Like seeing a kid all wide-eyed at the aquarium.

“You know what’d make this really interesting??”

“We aren’t doing lsd while watching blue planet, stop asking me that.”

He’s done drugs, like, a lot back in the day. Statesmen is stricter now, with regular mandatory drug tests so whiskey cant go out, partying like a madman and taking whatever he pleases.

Whiskey is bisexual . As is basically everybody i write so when you tell him same sex marriage is legal in all 50 states he legit tears up.

“Never thought I’d live to see the day.” hes so overjoyed at the news. He knows there's still a long way to go but seeing that, something he’d only dreamed and fantasize about while drawing shapes on the chest of his lover? Oh it makes his heart soar.

Whiskey is a man with brazen sexuality but of course aware of boundaries. First day you met him you turned down his advances, he accepted this and then decided to latch on as your best friend AND wingman! :D

You cannot escape this fate you're stuck with him now.

Anytime you go out to a bar he scouts for potential suitors. “How about the blonde at the counter, they're your style!” and before you can tell him NO he’s already swaggering over and chatting you up to them.

Whiskey, although you hate to say it, is a charming man. Hes kind and suave and will sing the praises of somebody hed only just met and have them melting in a puddle right in front of him. It’s annoying really. You have to listen to all the women at work swoon over him and talk about how youre soooo lucky to be working with him. He must be such a dream in the field. What's it like?

You plainly tell them that the other day you saw him get stuck in a revolving door and he asked for your help.

To get out

Of a door.

You will NEVER admit this to him but when you were a green agent?? Just starting out?? You had a major crush on the legendary agent whiskey. You’d only seen the photos and heard the stories but god you thought he was amazing.

Then you became a skilled agent yourself (perhaps also talented with a whip and lasso) and finally met the man himself when he was unfrozen.

Whiskey calls you “little filly” and will make jokes about how you need to respect your elders. You know since he’s technically like 89 years old lmao.

Whiskey hates that women gotta shave, he thinks you should do it if you want but the societal pressure of it? He hates it.

And lets be real, he’s a man of the 70’s so he fucking worships bush. (the pussy not the president) (i have a lot of thoughts on this)

He can and will go down for hours on end, almost selfish with it because he gets as much pleasure from it as you. Pressing kisses and nips on your thighs, mumbling praise against you, homeboy gets straight up pussy drunk and doesn’t know how to speak coherent sentences anymore.

He’s a cuddler. Even before you started dating he was just very affectionate and touchy. You once had to sleep together for warmth on a mission where you were stuck in the middle of nowhere during winter and he nuzzled and cuddled you all night long with a dazed smile. (he’s also your own personal space heater so that’s nice)

You thought you were over the hype and worship of agent whiskey,and you are, but when you get to know him as a friend and not an agent. As Jack, the fool who cuddles and tries to pair you up and sings out of key while cooking? God help you, your heart starts beating when you see his dimples and big goofy smile and all you can think is. “Oh fuck.”

anyways i reall y love this au and have many thoughts please sedn requests or hcs or anything you want me to expand on <3

#ask #asks #jack whiskey daniels #agent whiskey #agent whiskey x reader #jack daniels x reader #statesmen #kingsmen the golden circle #kingsmen golden circle #jack austin powers au #this is so dumb but fun #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters

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gingersnapwolves · 4 years ago

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thank you to everyone who answered my question about the Sunshot Campaign ... the general consensus seemed to be “eh probably not but through fanfic all things are possible” lmao

now as to why I was asking ... I’ve been working on the outline of the Mingli fic and am running into a dilemma

the whole first part is fun school shenanigans, which, okay, isn’t really different from the series itself, and I thought about just stopping it there but that leaves kind of an ominous “but we all know the Sunshot Campaign is coming” feeling ... like, yay, everyone’s happy, but storm clouds are on the horizon ... which isn’t really the way I want to end a fic

so that leaves me with three basic choices

say ‘fuck it, this is one of those universes where the Wens aren’t evil because I don’t feel like dealing with it’

I did this in An Atypical Courtship and nobody seemed to mind

this also gives me the bonus of that I could have Wen Qing and Wen Ning at the lectures in The Unclean Realm, which I can’t have otherwise since the Nie and the Wen hate each other

but it also cuts out some of the fun I could have later, like at the banquet with JGS trying to put the engagement back on and JYL being like “um, I think my husband might object”, as well as JYL insisting that WQ be allowed to come to The Unclean Realm and be NMJ’s doctor to help him prevent qi deviation

have the fic proceed through the Sunshot Campaign basically with a parallel to canon

this is marginally difficult because if the lectures aren’t at Cloud Recesses then I don’t get LWJ and WWX pulled into the cave together

additionally, WWX wouldn’t meet WQ and WN at the lectures

so okay, I could stray more into book canon here, have WN’s motivation for helping WWX be solely that WWX was nice to him that one time at an archery tournament, and maybe even say ‘fuck it’ to the yin iron in general because it’s not really necessary to the plot

smaller additional problem is that the stuff that happens in the first half of the fic will prevent NMJ and Meng Yao’s messy divorce, but I’ve gotten around that before and I can get around it again

the real reason I’m not wholly thrilled with this option is really just because I’ve already written so many fics centered around stuff that happened during The Sunshot Campaign, it’s honestly a little boring ... WWX lost his golden core again, oop

I could skip over it entirely and just give a brief summary but that seems kind of cheap

the last option is that I could use the changes in the first half of fic to dramatically change the trajectory of the Sunshot Campaign

the first thought I had was that JC could go to Qinghe for help, instead of Lanling, while WWX and LWJ are trapped in the cave of Xuanwu, and then NMJ could actually escort them back to Yunmeng (as an excuse to visit JYL) and he would actually be there during the Wen’s attack on Lotus Pier - LWJ could be there, too, because NMJ would pretty easily persuade him to travel together, maybe send a message to LXC, who’s currently on the run/hiding out with MY, to all regroup together at Lotus Pier

Canonically, WZL can fight both YZY and NMJ to a draw, but could he fight both of them together to a draw? Doubtful

But then I started asking, if I prevent the sacking of Lotus Pier, JC keeps his core, WWX doesn’t end up in The Burial Mounds - is the war against the Wen sect even winnable at that point?

So it’s like, on the one hand, this is way more interesting than yet another ‘and then poor WWX got fucked over six ways from Sunday’ (if nothing else, imagine LWJ being there when YZY is like ‘I’m going to cut off WWX’s hand’)

But on the other hand, it might end with everyone getting murdered and the Wen sect overrunning the world

Or if I do find a way to win The Sunshot Campaign, I have a different problem, which is that if the sacking of Lotus Pier doesn’t happen, the Yunmeng trio don’t end up sheltering with Wen Qing and Wen Ning, so there’s no reason they would be spared later, which makes me sad

tl;dr I can’t decide where the eff I want this fic to go

any thoughts, opinions, additional plot bunnies?

#just rambling #fic stuff

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duketectivecomics · 5 years ago

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You might've answered this already and I just didn't find it, but one thing that always perplexed me about Duke was how old he was in comparison to the other Batkids. It's obvious he's younger than Dick and Babs, and I pretty sure he's younger than Jason and Cass, and older than Damian, but I cannot tell if he's meant to be Tim and Steph's ages, younger, or older. Could you help me?

You’re all kinds of good here, anon!!! I answered a similar ask abt the Order of Adoption but didn’t dive into specific ages on that post BECAUSE well they didn’t ask lmaooo but ALSO:

Comic ages are very fluid usually! While Years™️ might pass in the canon proper, or while time seems to slow to a crawl, having a character’s age outright stated is something that occurs very rarely for most characters, if at all!

Because it’s always much easier to have a floating age range to work and play around in! It’s easier to keep a character Perpetually 12 or 16 or 25 or mid-40s or- you get the idea. SO, with that in mind. Let’s do our Best to Break Down What Age Duke Might Be Currently A N D how it might interact with the Other Batkids!

(Warning for a Very Long Post, lots of issue citations, and a LOT of comics terminology regarding specific runs/events/continunity. I’m gonna try to keep it as clear/concise as possible ofc but plz keep these things in mind! If you’re not at least marginally familiar with Bat-Comics, you might find yourself feeling a little lost here!)

So from the Zero Year arc we see a common Trend that plays out pretty consistently with Batfam comics: a Life-Changing Event Occuring while the protag is Young™️.

(Batman (2011) #30)

With how Duke is drawn in these particular issues, and given the trends of the past, I’d place him in the 8-12 range. The historic precedent being ofc that that is the same range that canon usually places both Bruce and Dick at for their Tragedies™; the more benign reason being that he... just very much Looks to be drawn in that Range. He’s very clearly an Older/Prepubescent child here.

Fast Forward to his Next Appearance in the Endgame arc and-

(Batman (2011) #37)

He’s definitely older! He’s wiser! And he’s giving Batman a fistbump lmao. Again, no strict age given here BUT, since they condensed each Robin to a Year or Two tops with Bruce (its n52 and its fucked up is what it is), we can assume it’s been at least 4-5 since Zero Year (which would mean if we go off the age range I proposed for that year, then theoretically he could be anywhere from 12-16 here, and I think that tracks pretty well. Not Perfectly and Certainly Not so well with Pre52 continuity ofc, but I’ll talk about that later!)

In We Are Robin, while its not stated Directly In The Text, it IS given as an Informational Tidbit that Duke is 16 (specifically this can be found at the end of issue #4)! (Sweet sweet canon confirmation FINALLY)

We know that WAR takes place Fairly Soon after Endgame (almost immediately, give or take a month or two given that Duke’s been placed in a few foster homes at this point and has racked up Quite A File) now, again id like to remind y’all that while this is a NICE starting point to have, keep in mind that comics are fluid and this may be retconned slightly/ignored in later stories bc Keeping Duke 16-ish is in DC’s Best Interest at the moment. (Having Relatable Teen Characters afterall is a Good Marketing strategy™️. And the longer they can Keep them Young, the Better)

With that in mind let’s take a moment to Highlight the fact that Duke and Damian have crossed paths at this point AND the storylines that have occurred during this year that were meant to be in conjunction with one another!

Because Prior to Endgame, Damian had Died! And just a year (in real, meat-space time) before We Are Robin, he was resurrected and had begun his “Year of Atonement” in the Robin: Son of Batman maxiseries. Midway through both this series and WAR (and, we can assume, midway thru this “Year” for Damian) the Robin War begins/ends and we see at least one major Moment between these two boys who will soon call one another brothers:

(Robin War #2)

Given that R:SoB is followed up VERY quickly by Teen Titans Rebirth (in which Damian celebrates his 13th birthday), we can conclude that Damian would be 12 during this time (well, 12 and 1/2 to play it safe lmao). That being said, this Confirms about a 4yr gap between Duke and Damian! (One Batkid down at least! but he’s the key to the others so put a pin in him!)

As We Are Robin draws to its conclusion, DC was releasing another arc that would eventually flow into the Rebirth Era, by the end of which, Bruce would approach Duke with an Idea (which involves Bruce becoming Dukes temporary guardian & as he states Many Times “Trying Something New” with Duke).

And thus the Rebirth Era begins, and Duke began his Year of training (most directly encapsulated by the Cursed Wheel arc in the All-Star Batman run:

(All-Star Batman #1 (back-up story))

Bruce introduces Duke to a training regimen that Alfred has named “the Cursed Wheel”. It encompasses all the training Bruce and the other bats have undergone and condenses it down into color-coordinated segments that will take Duke a Year to Complete.

It can be assumed that by the End of this Year Duke will somehow miraculously still be 16, despite, again, an entire ass year passing.

There’s one story that takes place mid-year in All-Star Batman, and the Cursed Wheel is meant to be capped off by Duke’s first Official Day as the Signal (in the titular Batman & the Signal ofc) BUT, near as I can tell after this story, Dukes age is not brought up again. So until they DO bring it up either in Batman & the Outsiders or whatever future run Duke becomes involved in, we can assume DC will be working with the idea that he’s meant to be in that 16-18 range from here on out (ie still a minor).

But, dear anon, you might be saying “okay, that’s cool, but how does that relate to my question abt how he falls in with the other Bats?” You’ll have to be a little patient with me here, but I think I may have cracked the code!

Keep in mind I’m gonna be addressing both the Post-Crisis to Flashpoint Continuity (ie mid-80s to 2010 in comics history) and the N52-slash-Rebirth Era (2010-Today). Its generally agreed by fandom and DC alike that these points of rebooting &/or Major Events constitute the era of “Modern” comics, and that everything from the 80s-on might more or less be canon on some level, even if not All of it is.

(Plus, most of fandom usually likes to borrow elements from both eras and much more rarely from stories before it, SO-)

Lets do a quick rundown of how everyone who’s Closer to Duke’s Age, Relates to each other first, age-wise:

Given that Jason was 15 when he died, in A Lonely Place of Dying its established that Bruce had become increasingly reckless since his death, and by the end of the story, Tim has stepped in to fill Robin’s shoes (he states that he’s 13 during this story btw). Pretty soon after, Stephanie Brown is introduced & established to be about a year older than Tim (wish I could pin-point a specific issue BUT, i unfortunately haven’t read any Tim OR Steph-involved comics that predate No Man’s Land... Besides the aforementioned Lonely Place and Young Justice technically, but im working on remedying that soon!)

NOW, during the No Man’s Land event, Cassandra is introduced, and pretty soon into her Batgirl run, its revealed that she’s around the same age as Jason (or at least how old he Would Have Been, had he not died.) Now, given that Jay has an August bday and Cass has a January one, fandom sometimes likes to play around with the idea of one being older than the other (OR even speculating/placing them in an AU as twins/siblings, given that Lady Shiva (Cass’ mom) was a Possible Candidate to be Jason’s biological mother but that’s a Whole Other Thing i wont get into here.)

The point being, Cass, in this era of comics, IS slightly older than Tim and Steph. At Tim’s start as Robin, their ages could either line up like: Tim-13, Steph-14, Cass-15 (being a few months ‘behind’ Jay), then Jason at 15/16 (depending on how soon Tim filled the role after Jay died in April) OR Jason-15/16, Cass-16/17 (in this case she’d be a few months ‘ahead’ now instead)

So brief detour to talk New 52, however! Because Tim, Steph & Cass all got switched around from where DC originally left them prior to the reboot! Now I haven’t read much of them in this era, other than Batman & Robin: Eternal, so my Understanding of their current ages is Spotty at Best. The general consensus seems to be that while before N52, Stephanie had been attending her first year of College (& doing VERY WELL i might add), with the reboot she was set back a few years alongside Tim to a vague Late-Teen state (so 16-18-ish, instead of a Very Clearly Established 18/19). Cass is probably the worst off for this reboot, given that B&R:E basically constitutes her new origin for the new continuity, and does nothing to confirm her age (all I really know is that she’s a Vague Late-Teen too... Probably? Maybe?), given how much they infantilize her, and subsequently how fandom in turn has taken to infantilizing her too, theres a semi-popular fanon that places her Younger that Tim and Steph. And I, for one, propose that we ignore that bc its Weak Sauce my dudes.

Some fans chose to ignore N52 continuity due to this vagueness, and will stick to the ages established before the N52/Rebirth reboots. But its something to keep in mind regardless bc we’re all obviously going to pull from what’s most familiar to us!

But WHERE could we place Duke with regards to them, then? Because them being “Late Teens” is certainly much too vague to work with!

This is Where Damian is the key!

Because Damian is one of those rare exceptions to the Reboot Rule. His story flowed almost seamlessly over from before to after. While he was made a Robin at the age of 10, he continued to grow and learn even after the universe was being rewritten to suit the whims of DC editorial.

If we choose to ignore how everyone else’s ages and origins were swapped around, and stick with the growth that was presented before the reboot, then we can draw some interesting conclusions!

Firstly, though Stephanie also had Died and subsequently Returned, she hadn’t lost much, if any time, from the Ordeal. At the start of her Batgirl run, she is enrolled at a Gotham university and making headway with a more firm foot in the Batfamily (even to the point that she and Damian spend a few issues bonding. At this point in time, Damian is definitely 11, and again, Steph can be assumed to be 18/19 during the course of her run. We’ll assume 18 for clarity’s sake.)

So, then when Damian is 11, now our line up is as Follows:

Dami - 11, Steph - 18, Tim - 17, Cass 19-21 (the range depending again, if you subscribe to Cass being either older/younger than Jason).

WHICH MEANS, If during Robin War Damian is 12 (and a half) THEN We’ve got an age line-up that Potentially looks Like This:

Dami -12(and 1/2), Duke - 16, Tim - 18, Steph - 19, Cass - 20-22 (And Obvsly Jason, Babs & Dick at their varying Older Ages than everyone here)

and im just now realizing i Didnt include Harper in this line-up, but thats bc she’d also throw a big wrench in all this. I’d personally throw her in with being Steph’s age, but I’m pretty sure she was supposed to be either that, or between Steph and Cass (again, since its N52, i believe Cass was/is assumed to be Younger than Steph, but that contradicts the assumed following of pre52 canon that we have for the above line-up, obvsly, and so we ignore that lmao)

All this to say, however, that canon and fandom is what you make of it, and if you want to wiggle these ages around a little, you’re more than allowed! God Knows i usually like to skew the Tim-Steph-Cass age group to be a tad older than this in my own fic writing, and I like to have Duke start as a Robin at 14/15 instead of 16, but that’s just bc I like the dynamic potential it could bring with them being Definitively Older that him, and thus in a more secure place to be Mentoring him right alongside Bruce & the others.

But you might see these age ranges and want to do something Different (say, making Tim, Steph, Cass, & Duke all the Same Age at 17 instead! And that very well tracks with how current comics kinda looks right now!) and you’re absolutely valid to do so! Because again, comic character’s ages are meant to be fluid, not fixed!

And at the end of the day, its all about wanting to see these teen heroes kick serious ass haha

#duke thomas #guest starring:#batfamily #damian wayne #tim drake #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #randywrites #randys meta #meta #asked and answered #anonymous asks #this was A LOT and i tried to throw some humor where i could #but uhhhh yeah!!! i hope this helps anon!!!#also just realizing its TWO AM WHERE DID THE TIME GO #ah well. Worth It

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ryttu3k · 4 years ago

Text

Hello naughty children it's Gehenna time.

...which means I'm going to read the book properly this time and write notes on each scenario, partially for my own reference, partially in answer to an ask from @rayshell22livejournalcom from about a zillion years ago. Sorry about that!

Mood soundtrack: Godspeed You! Black Emperor - F# A# ∞; Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas To Heaven; Yanqui U.X.O.

Prelude: Netchurch is an interesting character. Very skeptical, despite, well, the entire setting, although that's definitely, uh, broken by the end. Feel very sad for Afifa, who was a pawn in all this. Creepy babies galore!

Introduction: "While Vampire favors that futile, tragic, and - we'll say it - angst-heavy conclusion" - lmao you don't say. Although I do like how they have the consistent golden rule that if you don't like it, just ditch it! (Of course, the Gehenna scenarios as a whole have been completely retconned anyway by v20 and v5, so this entire book is a good example of taking what you want from it and ignoring the rest.)

"Some people are on opposite sides of this thing. They're elders who don't want to knuckle under to the Antediluvians (most elders will accept their proper place in the heirarchy again with the rising of their progenitors) and poor, misled souls who bought into the lie and are pissed about it (paging Mr. Pieterzoon). Bottom line: the Camarilla collapses like Enron/WorldCom as the worthlessness of its foundation becomes public knowledge. Chaos ensues among the vampire community, princes find themselves besieged by their own locals, and it's all a big clusterfuck."

Have I ever mentioned I love how VtM phrases stuff? Also F to Jan.

I like how they have a masterlist of what's actually going on with the Antediluvians. Spoilers ;D "For example, note that [Tzimisce] is simply referred to as [Tzimisce]. Even here at the game studio, our limited mortal minds weren't able to comphrenend the creature's real name." Lovecraft only WISHES he had eldritch abominations this spooky! Ennoia is 'Active and scary' and apparently spooks the devs just thinking about it. Makes sense. "Giovanni (Augustus Giovanni): Augustus is a pig, and he should probably die as one of the early events of Gehenna. He's the youngest of the Antediluvians and probably possessed the greatest ego (in mortal terms), so it'll be cosmic justice when he eats it." I love how no one likes Giovanni, even his creators. Malkav may or may not BE the Madness Network, in which case they cease to be an Antediluvian and just become... a part of the Malkavians, I guess? Absimiliard may or may not be chilling at the bottom of the ocean, because mood. Tremere / Saulot is definitely a fun one to play with, yeah. Although, oof, if Saulot ever gets control of their shared body, he's going to be fucked up if [Tzimisce] activates, so. Probably better to create a nice fresh body, like what BJD suggests with the child Saulot.

Chapter 1 - the lead-up: Basically a rundown of the signs and how they're interpreted. "An angel dies: How does an angel die? Who has the gall to rise up and slay one of God's firstborn? Or perhaps this is another metaphor. An angel could be a pure and gentle creature, or then again, it need not be one of God's angels (not that God's angels are necessarily pure and gentle). A feared and particularly vicious Necronomist Tzimisce, Sascha Vykos is sometimes referred to as the Angel of Caine. Many would rejoice the night that Vykos died." Hey rude :( I vote they kill Michael instead. He wants to be an Archangel? Fine, he can fulfill a prophesy XD

Honestly I really do dig that Ennoia Earthmelded with the entire planet. You can go so many directions with that, good or bad! Ennoia as The Beast Below, or Ennoia as Gaia? (Wow, that'd really fuck with the Garou XD) I love how the general consensus on Haqim is like, no one knows if he exists or not but lbr Ur-Shulgi is bad enough. Kinda dig the idea of the Toreador ante, Ishtar/Arikel, being genderfluid? I mean yeah essentially demigods have no need for gender anyway, but the constant debates over whether the Toreador ante is the female Ishtar or the male Arikel (or, uh, was it vice versa?) does lead to some interesting concepts. Ooh, similar to [Tzimisce] being linked to its entire clan (and the Tremere, anyone who's ever taken part in the Vaulderie, and anyone who knows Vicissitude), [Lasombra] may be connected to anyone who knows Obtenebration? [Ravnos]... yeah, probably dead. F to the clan. And yeah I think [Tzimisce] is flat-out the scariest one of all, and probably the one most likely to actually start the apocalypse, lbr.

Ugh this is one of the books that calls Sascha 'it' :-\ Do not like. ...Also do not like the suggestion that they're an unknowing agent of the Eldest, given, uh, the last chapter of the DA Tzimisce novel. Shoo! Shoo! You've ruined their unlife enough as it is!

Epistolary material! I do dig those. Most interesting: a letter to Sascha mentioning apocalyptic visions of New York but with the Carpathians in the background, and an anonymous letter to Hardestadt warning him of one of his line tearing down a castle that the writer feels believes the Camarilla. GO JAN FUCK IT UP.

And on to the scenarios themselves!

Chapter 2 - Wormwood: This is an interesting one. Literally a Biblical vengeance - God takes a good look at the Children of Caine and goes, "Well, this is fucked up", acknowledges that Caine never really sought true forgiveness and repentance, and sets forth Wormwood, the Red Star. The truly repentant are saved, the rest just. Die.

Herald here is a dhampir girl named Alia - thinblood father, human mother. When she's twelve, she becomes God's chosen, basically. Traveling with three thinblood guardians, one night, she's approached a Gargoyle named Ferox with True Faith, who sees himself as a fallen angel. And Alia offers him a way of redemption - find the chosen true believers, wait out Wormwood, receive judgement. Anyone can seek sanctuary, only the true believers and the ones genuinely willing to repent will survive the judgement itself. Alia and Ferox set out to find the other chosen ones.

Whew. Very full-on - the players remain in one place with a whole bunch of other vampires for forty nights. I mean, that's a test in and of itself XD All welcome! (Except infernalists and the antediluvians and Caine himself. They're fucked no matter what.)

Like. All welcome XD "Some Storytellers might feel that this character roundup could get too silly, suddenly having all these celebrity Kindred get together for a big slumber party, and they would be correct." Fuck that give me a slumber party AU XD

Am very glad about the note that the vampires inside only lose one blood point per 10 days, rather than every day. Otherwise, uh, it'd get gory.

Yeah, this is a really interesting scenario. Very character-focused, very introspective. All about the characters trying to work out what it means to be good people - not the strongest vampires, not the most powerful, but good people. Are they worthy of salvation? That's the crux of the story. Of course, it's very, uh, Biblical, heh, but it's first and foremost about morality and redemption. I dig it.

Also, giant vampire slumber party.

Chapter 3 - Fair is Foul: Ooh, this is a Lilith vs Caine scenario.

This one has the Withering hit in weird ways, including clan-specific ones - like the Banu Haqim only able to feed on vitae, then only able to gain sustenance from diablerie. Gangrel turn even more animalistic. Lasombra take to the seas, Obtenebration ripping holes straight to the Abyss. Malks, uh, leak madness. Nosferatu get even uglier, Toreador devolve into debauchery. Tremere develop third eyes, and yes, I did laugh out loud when I read that. Tzimisce... hmm... get a bit, uh, uncontrolled. And Ventrue find they can now only feed on... other Ventrue. Fun times!

"At your discretion, Lilith might be particularly vulnerable to Jewish True Faith, as the Jewish tales about her are the source of nearly every negative sentiment ever directed against her in writing. As a result, most orthodox Jews bear Lilith great contempt for defying her husband and her God." Yeah ngl I think she's pretty dang cool and I can just see, like, most of my ancestors facepalming at the idea XD;; Fuck obediance you do your own thing.

"Trying to work out traits for Lilith, Lucifer, Caine, or any of the Antediluvians would just be a waste of our word count and your time." I like the time they published a guide for fighting Caine. It was two words. "You lose."

Ah. Okay, Saulot in Tremere's body being taken over by the Eldest = scary, because have you ever been attacked by an Antediluvian wielding Thaumaturgy, Valeran, and Vicissitude at the SAME :) TIME? :) Yeah :)

Really dig the idea of Abel showing up as the first Wraith. The forgiveness element.

Overall, this isn't my favourite scenario, I think? It feels very chaotic, and while it's probably the most traditional to play, I'm not sure how much it literally challenges the characters, unlike the sheer soul-searching...ness of Wormwood?

Chapter 4 - Nightshade: Chapter starts with, "We all wear masks" and my first thought was "boy you have no idea" XD

Awww yes this is the masquerade break scenario! See here for my thoughts on that and how the Nephtali could be adapted to v5, heh.

Yeah okay earthquakes, volcanoes, and riots are normal enough. A horrible blood virus where it appears some flesh-like thing is living in people's veins and feeding off their blood sounds like something that starts with T and rhymes with Shzimitze. ...Probably. No one knows how the fuck it's pronounced anyway. Oops, those riots are apparently over the existence of vampires. Yeah that'd be... unfortunate. And more earthquakes, this time due to Kupala vs the Eldest. Whew. Red star, yep, standard. MORE earthquakes, this time due to the Second City rising. Sounds legit. Bad times all around!

The details on breaking the Masquerade are interesting. Basic emotions: denial, rationalisation, fear, anger, acceptance. The acceptance one is interesting, because I can definitely see some jumping to it straight away.

So, on to the scenario itself! Jan recruits the players to fight the... uh, mass under NYC. This is the corpse of the Eldest, which is more or less a giant fungal infection held together with Vicissitude, which frankly is just icky. This actually is canon-compliant with BJD, since it apparently has only just... dissipated? or whatever there, or if it still remains, it's no longer conscious. In this one, its soul flicks back to Tremere's/Saulot's body and wakes up, and basically every Tzimisce, Tremere, and anyone who has ever drank Tzimisce blood (which would be the entire Sabbat via Vaulderie) spontaneously frenzies. Godspeed. Cyscek, a Tzimisce methuselah, helps defeat the, uh, blob at the expense of his life, and warns with his last words, "The Dragon rises. You must stop it. Find Vykos. [They] know." (Okay yeah the text says 'it knows' but also fuck that.) Ooh, plot point!

Aaaand then they retreat from the battle, exhausted, only to find the whole damn thing broadcast on every TV screen, vampiric Disciplines and Cyscek dusting and all. W h o o p s.

Lots and lots of details of a major masquerade breach here. Hardestadt shows up and tells Jan he's proooobably gonna get Final Death for, you know, trying to save the world. Gonna share this bit because it's Very Satisfying.

Please refer to my tag #hardestadt has no rights ;D

Anyway! The characters now recruited, Jan leads them back to London for the Convention of Fire. He's working with Calebros and... like a bunch of others, probably anyone can end up here, so long as they want to actually help and not just fall apart like the remnants of the Camarilla (trying to diablerise their way into keeping power) and the Sabbat (...ditto tbh). Those definitely in attendance are Ambrogino Giovanni, Hesha Ruhadze, and Fatima! And lbr the Nod Squad are probably there too. As if Beckett would pass up the chance to NOT witness what's happening with Gehenna. And Anatole is literally a prophet of Gehenna! They found the Nephtali, led by a council of twelve, with Jan at the head. Name means 'the highest point' or 'no further' - as in, Gehenna goes no further than this.

Oh lmao here we go, the scene I mentioned earlier - Jan vs talk shows.

F to Jan.

Tremere's body (inhabited by Saulot) disappears from beneath the Vienna chantry. Tremere's body, with [Tzimisce] now well in control (having overtaken Saulot; Tremere, meanwhile, has taken over Goratrix's body, with Goratrix's mind stuck in a mirror... it's complicated), wipes out the Vienna chantry. RIP to the Vienna chantry, which doesn't survive in either timeline tbh. Hey, I wonder if that means that Saulot (in Tremere's body) is dead in v5? Etrius manages to escape and reports that the Eldest is now on the way to Ceoris, where it'll call all the remaining Tzimisce to it to become, uh, a part. Pleasant.

Everything between Krakow and Bucharest is straight fukk’d. Ceoris is the centre of all this - IIRC it's somewhere in the southern Carpathians, nearish Brasov. Either way, hell of a fight results with what can only be described as an eldritch abomination, finally both managing to destroy Kupala (the Eldest's goal) and reducing The Thing down to a human-looking body. This bit is interesting! Tremere (in Goratrix' body) and Etrius take one look at each other. "Master..." "I... I know. But where the hell is Saulot?!" Good question, because he sure ain't in Tremere's, uh, former body any more, which was in fact what was fighting them the whole time. Either way, Tremere-in-Goratrix'-body leaps at [Tzimisce]-in-Tremere's-body and diablerises his, um, former body, which must be weird as hell, then tries to turn on the characters and his powers fuckiNG FAIL. EAT SHIT TREMERE. And then the players kill him too and realise that over the course of one night they've destroyed the demon Kupala and two Antediluvians, Tremere and the Eldest. Not bad. This is the battle that causes that second lot of earthquakes I mentioned earlier.

Back to London! They find the mirror containing Goratrix amongst Tremere's belongings. Poor fucker sorry not sorry.

And now the players receive a summons to escort someone from Montreal to the Nephtali headquarters in London! Namely, a Tzimisce named Myca Vykos~ They've recently defected from the Sabbat and want to help take the Antediluvians tf down. (Note: the book here has reverted to using he/him pronouns since they're back in their original form, I'm going to keep using they/them because biological sex does not determine gender identity or pronouns goddammit. ...Anyway. I AM going to use the name Myca since that's the name they're using themself, mostly because, uh, 'Myca' is a bit less noticeable than 'Sascha Vykos', haha.)

So Gehenna has started. Myca's woken up in their original form and being like, "Hey you know what I am preTTY SURE I don't want to serve the Eldest" and promptly joins the Nephtali.

From New York to London to Romania to London to Montreal to London (...London is a hub world apparently), now off to Turkey, to Kaymakli! Which is actually a real place, my brother's been on a tour there. Anyway, this is the part of Kaymakli that they don't show the tourist and that's been sealed shut with lots of angry Cappadocians instead, so that was fun. Presumably Kapaneus hasn't been chilling out there in this one.

Also Colombia has completely been overtaken by the Sabbat so that sucks.

Into Kaymakli! Which usually doesn't let Cainites back out so it may be one-way. Don't worry, there's a ritual for that. At the bottom, they find Augustus Giovanni! Who is pissed off he never actually got to eat Cappadocius' soul and so wants to eat God instead.

As you do.

The book very strongly encourages the players to kill him. Just 'cause. Which is a mood, tbh. Killing him also reveals a beaten, bound Nosferatu, having been Giovanni's most recent food source. An F for Okulos. He's been there for four years, having managed to get a lost fragment of the Book of Nod for Beckett, who promised to come back for him and. Didn't. Which is just rude tbh and I can kind of understand why Okulos ends up betraying Beckett in the Gehenna novel but anyway. (Not canon as of v20, he's perfectly present and chill in BJD.)

End results - the fragment that Okulos went to retrieve shows how to restore the Second City, which holds a complete Book of Nod and may hold the key to stopping Gehenna. It's in Enochian so your player characters probably won't be able to read it (book suggests asking Sascha or Ambrogino). Next stop, Egypt, and a meeting with Hesha Ruhadze! Man this scenario has a lot of signature characters. It also suggests getting third parties in here too, so Beckett would actually be a really good choice. Either way, they find the probable site, and suddenly, a Second City.

Archeologists make grabby hands. Beckett, somewhere, is probably crying in joy. They find a vial with some very old blood in it that they definitely shouldn't drink because otherwise they'll explode (the book uses Sascha as the example here XD;; ). Along with some mystical enscriptions, they return to London and get to work on the prophecy - namely, it suggests that 'the gentle one' (likely Saulot) will die at the hands of another, but arise in a new form, and will stop Gehenna that way. Etrius, one of the only Tremere left and having joined the Nephtali, goes 'fuck it what do I have to lose?' and goes to find whatever new form Saulot is in (potentially can also involve Goratrix here).

Hm. Well. Saulot is apparently in a research centre outside Sydney. Apparently we're mostly chill with vampires, aside from Christians XD Go figure!

Apparently it's a cloning facility. One of the rooms had, past tense, a child, successfully cloned six-year-old, who was in perfect physical form but vegetative from birth. Religious characters will pick up that it's because the kid's body didn't have a soul. Now, it does - Saulot's. Having been thrown out of Tremere's body when the Eldest took over, his soul fled until it could find the most suitable vessel - a soulless cloned body. No actual soul to have to subdue. Saulot ends up reborn, albeit in the form of a six-year-old and without any memories. Turns out, the child was taken by a cult of Thinbloods, believing him to be the messiah.

Sydney's messy situation gets described here! Short version, Sydney's Prince is/was Sarrasine, who was a Toreador. Except he wasn't a Toreador, it was a fairly open secret he was only POSING as a Toreador - he was actually a Caitiff. (Except he's not actually a Caitiff. He's a sixth-gen Setite. Sydney is Like That, yes.) Given Sydney's independence from the sects and its apparent Caitiff Prince, it's become a major site of Caitiff and Thinbloods, which Sarrasine is just thrilled about but can't do anything about because he doesn't want to actually go 'lol I'm a Setite'. Anyway, either way, everyone is unaware of Saulot's return, so the players seek out the little boy, who's pretty spooked and confused. Asks the characters, "Who are you? What is this place? What do all these people want?" and his third eye opens. Tada! Salubri Antediluvian, and like the prophecy mentioned, he's 'unholy' and 'a mockery in the face of God' - a clone.

Back to London with kid!Saulot. The Nephtali have been trying to work out what tf is going on. A researcher tried drinking from the vial. It was messy. The characters might get some downtime. Sarrasine's followers may attack to try and get the kiddo back. Either way, everyone goes to bed, and wakes up to find a Darkness having overtaken the sun, which is generally not good for anyone, and Lasombra characters are just, feels bad man. The Veil of Darkness means vampires can be up 24/7, along with other things that don't like sunlight, and I imagine things like... plants not being thrilled. Also probably very confused animals. I'm not sure if it's like a dark atmosphere, or a physical body between the sun and Earth that just eclipses it whatever vantage point you look from, or what? Disciplines like Auspex, Obfuscate, and Obtenebration go a bit fucky. Then, a few days later, everyone feels a... Summons. For low-generation vampires with still-living Antediluvians, it's strongest. Higher gens with destroyed Antes, not so bad. So I'm sure you can guess what's summoning them.

Yep. Antediluvians. Banu Haqim are getting summoned to Alamut instead so Ur-Shulgi can turn them into an army against the Antediluvians, so godspeed resisting that, Elijah.

Off to the city of Gehenna (it's nearish Jerusalem). Elders of all stripes have been heading there to kill their childer in hope of being rewarded by their Antediluvians to get their powers restored, which is terribly rude. Indeed, the Antediluvians basically go, hey, can you not, and also can you start Embracing more childer for our armies, because they're not very nice either. Pretty much all the characters have been summoned for their crimes against the Antediluvians, and now they're gathered before them - Set, [Lasombra], Ennoia, Absimiliard, Malkav (as like... a cluster of identical little girls with glowing eyes because of course Malkav would use the Creepy Child trope), and [Toreador], who's so beautiful no one can tell if they're male or female. When the players and child!Saulot get there, they question him, but he's literally a six-year-old boy and is spooked. He also has the vial, somehow. Set takes it, and Kiddo says, "Don't drink it. You'll burn up." So Set makes Kiddo drink it instead, because he's a nice guy like that.

Kiddo's third eye opens. A giant black throne appears. The dozen small girls that are Malkav say, "Father's home." Kiddo!Saulot says, "No, Father's dead." Girls start screaming so loud people start bleeding thick black blood from their ears and doesn't stop until Set kills all twelve. A random stranger, now with their glowing eyes, steps forward and basically goes 'wow rude'.

Powerful beam of light appears. The Antes (aside from Kiddo!Saulot) writhe in pain. Angel appears, asks Saulot if he's willing to atone for all vampires. He agrees. Throne explodes, Antes fuckin' die, and everyone promptly frenzies and tries to eat each other, because vampires. In the aftermath of that, vampirism basically... ends. The player characters may be rewarded by becoming human again, as do a lot of Thinbloods, but most everyone older just, uh, dies. Vampirism ends, but the Earth has been saved.

That is... hmm, bittersweet, I think. It's a pretty compelling chronicle, very dramatic, but it's much less character-based and is more, 'the characters get dragged along to Do Shit'. I kind of like the idea of it being a story involving the characters we know, but for original characters, I think Wormwood is a much more compelling scenario so far.

Chapter 5 - The Crucible of God: Okay I'm tired now and this is the 'rocks fall everyone dies' scenario so gonna skim-read this one.

This is the chapter that introduces the level 10 power for all disciplines - Plot Device. The Antediluvians can do shit because they feel like it. Whew. Also, if an Ante spots anyone of their blood line, they can just make them... explode and their blood gushes into their mouth. Monch monch. Spot another clan mate? Roll to avoid frenzy. Just woke up? Roll to avoid frenzy. Good times!

And then the Tzimisce Antediluvian awoke as a mass of Vicissitude flesh fungal infestation with tentacles and lampray mouths and stuff and ate anything in reach until it ate, uh, every living thing in Manhattan. In one night. Bad day tbh. Eventually it burns when the sun rises, but what's left underground is still there and shit's still messed up. Like picking a leaf off a dandelion and it starts bleeding. Trees with faces, swarms of insects forming into eyes and watching. Nice and creepy. In the aftermath, it's basically infecting every life form on Earth with Vicissitude, which is distinctly uncool.

Absimliard has an animal army and currently looks like a giant humanoid jellyfish.

Oh boy here's the Banu Haqim part XD;; Interestingly, it's a lot better for them! Haqim doesn't eat his childer, they feel themselves strongly bonded to him but still maintain their own minds and wills. Downside, anyone who doesn't follow Haqim alone gets hunted down so he can eat them, so Ur-Shulgi's probably having a field day at being vindicated and poor Pyre/Elijah is hiding tf under the bed. Plus side, it only lasts a few months before something kills Haqim, so hey! And there's genuinely a way to become human again, especially for high-humanity, high-gen vampires, so that actually would be a genuinely good outcome for Pyre/Elijah.

Malkavians end up as a giant hive mind. Like, more than usual. [Lasombra] covers the world in darkness, then it stops. Ennoia merges with the entire planet and starts eating people. And vampires. And Methuselah. And other Antediluvians. She's kinda hangry at this point.

Tremere attempts to rule the entire world using the Human Genome Project as the true name of the entirety of humanity. It lasts about two minutes before [Tzimisce] turns him into a meat crime, along with, uh, the entire rest of the world, aside from the players, who were part of Tremere's ritual and thus immune from it.

Also Saulot, who they just met in the form of a little old man.

Turns out, he planned it all along. Lured Tremere to him, knowing that his body was tainted by using Tzimisce blood to become a vampire. Knew that when the Eldest returned, he'd be succeptable, and Saulot would be able to bounce out when the Eldest took over. Now, he can lead the characters in the only way to stop Planet Tzimisce, which is, uh, prayer and letting themselves get eaten. Could actually work! And you end up human again in the bargain!

End result - all vampires gone. Some of the more human ones do end up human again. Either way, world's still fucked. Open Antediluvian rule for several months has destroyed most of humanity. There are still remnants - former Malkavians who are still a bit weird, former Tzimisce who are a bit... Vicissitudey. Ennoia's still around! She's mostly chill except when she occasionally feels like rearranging landscapes. Otherwise, it's time to recover.

Alternate endings - that last one wasn't depressing enough, so here's a scenario where All Is Tzimisce, here's one where there's global extinction of literally everything except the player characters who gradually drop into torpor and never recover (or just flat out burn if they're outside), or there's one where the players are the only vampires left and start a new cycle with them as the new Antediluvians or something, oh and Caine's still kicking and is Very Displeased that God won't let him die already. Gooood times!

Rest is how to basically play it, and character sheets. Which go back to calling Sascha ‘it’ again *sigh* (And using the whole alien look despite explicitly mentioning that they look human again. Of course.)

So, final thoughts! Gehenna is... an interesting scenario. Lots of possibility for introspection. It’s very... apocalyptic, and that may bother a lot of people, since, well, for the most part, it’s going to be the end of playing your character as a vampire. Which I figure most people are playing Vampire the Masquerade for. So it’s basically either a hell of a finale, or you just don’t make use of it.

Favourite scenario did end up being Wormwood. I just really like the introspection and opportunity for hope. Did also enjoy Nightshade, but in a different way, I think? Like for Nightshade, I’d rather read it as existing characters working together, maybe as a novel, whereas for Wormwood I’d want to play it since it’s such an intensely personal kind of thing.

(I also still want a slumber party AU ngl.)

#vampire the masquerade #vtm #gehenna

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