#And then I just RANDOMLY started singing Rainbow Connection

[saltpepperbeard]

“There’s so many songs that Stede could sing, that would be appropriate for him. But what came to my head then was Rainbow Connection.” [x]

[thebibliosphere]

There are a lot of things I'm sad about in my life. You don't get to go through the kind of medical trauma I've been through and come out unscathed on the other side.

But one thing I'm really bitter about is that I can't remember my wedding anymore. The pernicious anemia took it from me and wiped my brain clean. Except it's not clean, not really. I remember it in patches. Like red wine stains on a white rug that have never quite lifted out no matter how hard you try.

I look at the pictures on my bookcase, and they feel like remembering a story someone else has told me. There's a young woman in a white dress wearing my face, and she looks happy. I'm happy for her. But you can see the strain around her eyes, too. The pain she's hiding because no one with authority believes her when she says her body doesn't feel right. That something is Wrong.

They won't believe her for another decade. They won't believe her until it's almost too late, and it's that lateness that will rob her of her memories and turn them into a wavering rainbow suspended in the fine haze of watery sunlight that occasionally surfaces through the blanks.

There's one memory that's real, though. Solid. It's not my vows. It's not my father walking me down the aisle. (Though those are there, just hazy and dream-like). It's our first dance.

It's the lights dimming around the room as the staff cleared the floor, causing the fishbowls full of white roses and LED lights on the tables to wobble like pools of moonlight against dark paneled walls.

It's the band inviting us out onto the floor and us giggling because we know what's coming next, and no one else does. It's the twang of a banjo reverberating around the room through the speakers, followed by the dulcet tones of Kermit the Frog wondering why there are so many songs about rainbows.

It's us waltzing around the enclosed circle of light, singing to each other out of tune and grinning like idiots as everyone around us starts to laugh.

It's everyone joining in on the song because it's the Muppets, and everyone knows the words. It's 100+ people singing the Rainbow Connection, some laughing, some a bit tearful, because it's bringing back memories. Because it's making a new one.

It's looking up at my new husband through the brain fog and all the pain in my body and thinking, "I want to remember this moment forever."

I don't know what entity was out there listening to me at that moment and chose to grant that wish. I don't know why this is the one memory that stuck while everything else in my brain got decimated into scattered, fragmented snapshots. But I'm so, so thankful it is.

Though, I could have done without it randomly coming on my YouTube music out of nowhere to hit me in the emotions like a brick to the back of the head. Jesus Christ.

[shadowofroses]

Doki Doki Doma part 3

Demon Slayer

Pairing: Reader x Douma

Warnings: Morality Debates, song lyrics, ruining Demon Slayer Timeline, fluff, angst? I think that's called Angst IDK, Itsukai, Gender Neutral Reader, Spoilers

Previously Part 4

Song: Devil Like Me by Rainbow Kitten Surprise

Summery: You give into your stupid human heart, and reveal everything.

Story:

The worst thing out of this all, was Douma and his cult took care of you, treated you well, much better than the original Time or World you were from. It’s been a year since you were in the cult, yet you still couldn’t get a gauge of when in the Demon Slayer Universe you were. There were no newspapers connecting to the outside world. 

How were you going to start this conversation? 

Hey Douma! When was the last time you ate a Hashira?

You already showed acceptance of Demons, or at least him. 

Hey Douma! Is Muzan looking for a couple of teens, one is a feral demon, while the other has Hanafuda earrings?

Have you by any chance eaten any beauties by the name of Kotoha lately?

Once again, you were lost in thought, this time, you were sitting outside during the full moon by the Pond, surrounded by plants. You had your eyes closed, and you were taking slow breaths in Meditation, hoping for an answer to be given to you. 

That was a laugh, if anyone were to answer you, they would scream to run, and not assist Demons. All you could listen to was your twisted mind and heart. 

Naturally Douma would pick this moment to find you. Eyes widening when he hears your voice sing out randomly. “Is the Devil so bad if he cries in his sleep while the earth turns, and his kids learned to say ‘fuck you’ they don’t love you~ Does the Devil get scared if she dies in her dreams while the earth burns, she cries cause she’s nothing like you, is she like you~” Douma stepped forward quietly enjoying the melody, “What do you want from a Devil like me, am I like you?~”

Douma resisted the urge to drag his fingers across your sides. “You are not like me Dove.” He moved to sit beside you. “Is something bothering you?”

You sat up straight, before you let out a small huff. Douma’s fingers found your wrist, he enjoyed just feeling your pulse, especially when it raced when he touched you. Honestly it wasn’t fair at all.  “I…yes, something is bothering me, and I don’t know where to start…” Well it started, there was no going back. 

“Is it your love for me?~” Douma teased, watched as you smiled, and felt your heart race.

Fucking doki doki go away.

“Well…I’ve already come to terms with it, but no it’s something else.” You rubbed your cheek against your own shoulder, “I…I need you to not be upset with me and let me explain something to you.”

Douma’s brows furrowed, “You could never upset me (Name)-san~ I promise you can tell me anything!” If it wasn’t your Undying love for him it had to be something huge, at least for your little brain anyway. 

“I’ll reveal information, I just don’t need you to be on guard about it.” You felt his cool grasp tighten a little. “I…what Era is this?”

Douma tilted his head, “Taisho silly thing…” but his eyes narrowed.

“Have you killed a Flower Hashira?” You felt the Demon Tense. 

“Yes.”

You took a deep breath, and he felt your pulse speed up dreading this one.“Does Muzan have you searching for a Boy with Hanafuda earrings and his Demon Sister on top of the Blue Spider Lilies? Maybe even a Lady Tamayo?” 

“(Name)...” his hand felt colder. 

“I thought you said I could never upset you, and could tell you anything.” you gave him a glance as he gave you a calculating stare. “I’m from the Future.”

[twistednuns]

September 2022

Lord, I confess I want the clarity of catastrophe but not the catastrophe. Like everyone else, I want a storm I can dance in. I want an excuse to change my life. - Franny Choi

Tamales con quesillo y salsa roja / in San Cris: con rajas poblanas. Yum! They remind me of semolina dumplings.

Feline encounters: the cutest cat at Iguana: red, white and brown with green eyes; very friendly and gentle. / The grey cat who followed me home, talking to/meowing at me, stopping me to demand scratches. / My black cat friend at Estrella Fugaz.

First impressions are scarily accurate. Somehow you can just feel who belongs in your tribe.

Attending the self love workshop at Hridaya Yoga (and the fact that a handbook I randomly picked up in a hostel led me there). So much input, realising how much work there is to be done. The ho'oponopono prayer, meditation and partner exercises. Journalling about my insights. New ways of thinking and connecting. Staring into 14 strangers eyes for what felt like forever, holding hands. Intense. Feeling the love, the group finally connecting on the third day. Especially because it was Sasha's birthday and we danced to 70s disco music.

Meeting with Carina, Sasha and Fico (what an amazingly sympathetic power couple, I admire them so much) the next day. Feeling at ease. Talking about language, culture, the state of the world, very personal insights and thoughts about healing.

Playa Mermejita. Alone, black sand, crabs, storm damage. Reading. Getting a tan on my belly for the first time in my life (have I mentioned that I've finally started wearing bikinis?). Writing in the sand.

Men with space buns. Men who like cats. Men who go to self love workshops. Men who've overcome toxic masculinity. I love people who're not stuck in stereotypes and typecasting that comes with their gender. Maybe that's why I'm attracted to women with short hair and masculine traits and vice versa.

Daring to go to the Kirtan. Om Shanti.

Spanish progress. Connecting with Eva, my maestra from Madrid. The first time I understood the difference between the imperfecto, presente perfecto and pretérito (but realising I will actually have to study this time). Having real conversations in Spanish. Compliments on that, and my accent. Feels good because I've been frustrated by my lack of ability to express myself.

Coconut milk tapioca pudding with passion fruit compote. Vegan hot dogs.

The sense that you can get it “right” is in some ways illusory; there’s no door behind which the right version of your life is waiting. There will be pain and joy in all possible futures [...] The question may not be how to get the right answer to this question, but how to find the space to celebrate the fact that each of your options contains a life you’d be proud to live. Eleanor Gordon-Smith

Tabi playing the guitar. Singing together. I loved her song about the seasonal colours. And the Canción de Miedo.

Cañón de Sumidero boat ride. Rescuing passengers from a sinking ship. Michelada con mango from the tienda flotante in the sun. Pelicans. Crocodiles. Spider monkeys. Riding through waterfalls.

The friendly guy from Guadalajara. Erika, the pretty graphic designer from Playa. The whacky Australians.

Taking the colectivo to Chamula with Ricardo. Getting to know him. Libra musician. Italian cuisine. Dog lover. Conversing in Spanish!! Buying tiny candles to express gratitude and to make a wish. Taking in the very peculiar atmosphere of the church. The burping, the animal sacrifice, the sea of candles and pine needles all over the floor. Visiting the graveyard. Getting elote straight out of a car trunk.

Stumbling upon the most beautiful earrings ever. Brass crescent moons with long, thin feathers. The artist made them especially for me!

The Bad People vintage store in San Cris.

More waterfalls. A rainbow, for a short moment. The view over the valley. The Palenque ruins - super beautiful and impressive even though I didn't feel the magic there.

A blissful evening shopping at a super Chedraui after a stressful day. The sesame bread with queso and jalapenos. / Each and every time I'm at a place with a kitchen. I love preparing my own food and going shopping for groceries. It's what I often miss on the road.

A quiet apartment with a very comfortable bed and a TV with Netflix. Non-blinding lights. The height of luxury when you don't feel great.

No Limit - a movie about freediving based on Audrey Mestre's life. Triggered a little internet deep dive.

"Winds in the east / mist coming in / Like somethin’ is brewin’ and bout to begin." // A song from Mary Poppins that accurately describes the feeling of fresh inspiration, motivation, anticipation and hope for change.

Arriving in Merida. A friendly taxista, the amazingly decorated house with high ceilings and art from all over the world. The hostess' granddaughter Victoria (4) built a castillo with me and sang for me, so cute.

A late night vegan pita sandwich with grilled veggies.

LED balloons. Sparkly. Fun!

Remote Scrabble.

Cracking my crunchy spine - feels so satisfyingly straightening.

Visiting Wendy's juice bar. Talking to her about giving up fear. Just doing it. The illusion of safety.

Ivan, an illustrator who invited me to his boardgame night. Pizza. Friends. New words. A cat. Lovely.

An intuitive infatuation with the chef/owner (?) at Plants of Wonder in Merida. The wink. The voice. The presence. Yas.

Found a tiny baby kitten. So light. Can't have weighed more than 200g. And the high pitched meowsies!!!

Baby pink clouds at sunset.

The crystal clear water of the Bacalar lagoon. My own private fish fan club. Diving down, watching the water surface from below.

Giving advice I'd actually follow myself. Happy with my teachings. Now I only need to practice what I preach.

Forgetting my phone at home (weird addiction going on at the moment and I don't like it so it was a welcome change)

Manu sharing his Netflix account with me.

Posting on Instagram for the first time in years, connecting with people because of it.

The clear starry sky in Bacalar.

Excellent vegan tacos/hot dog.

The unexpected and phenomenal dance scene in Umbrella Academy ep. 3x01. Footloose. What.

A quick sailing trip in the lagoon. Bonding with the captain. Sitting up front with a beer in my hand like a figurehead. Fresh pineapple. Stories about pirates.

Not falling for the scam / fake priest from Chicago like the British dudes.

Talking to neuroscientist Hanna in the hostel kitchen. About multipotentialism. Psychotherapy. Security.

Arriving in Belize. After going crazy over all the misinformation and seemingly impossible way ahead of me. Enjoying the view from the boat. Friendly people. Caribbean vibes.

Petting stingrays. Surprisingly soft and squishy.

A hammock in the water.

Pelicans. Flying towards me. Coming close. Making eye contact. Oddly majestic birds.

A clear view of Jupiter over the Carribbean sea.

TALK - Run Away to Mars

Snorkelling in the Hol Chan marine reserve. I saw so many animals - manatees, a lobster, sharks, dolphins, tarpons, eagle rays and stingrays. Elaborate coral formations, a shipwreck. Lunch and rum punch on the boat and the friendly crew. We all got a drink at Sip'n'Dip afterwards. I watched the sunset with Sam and then we ran into the Germans again at dinner.

A travel buddy to go to Guatemala with (Sam). Deep talk. Helping him break out of his hostel in the morning.

Eating purple candy fully expecting to bite into disgusting grape flavor but it's nice blackcurrant instead.

Travelling with Moana and Yuki.

Following around the coatis at the Tikal ruins. Bonding with Steve.

Swimming, sunset and socialising on Isla de Flores.

The amazing restaurant at Los Amigos.

9hrs on the bus. Stopping at McDonald's. Getting a cheeseburger without meat. Worth it. Just for the pickle.

The Semuc Champey grutas. Walking in with just a candle in your hand which created such a fantastic atmosphere. Swimming, climbing, jumping and sliding. / The river pools and the waterfall. Diving under a rock formation, fighting claustrophobia. Riding on the pickup truck standing up. The great view of the mountains and valleys.

The view from Zephyr Lodge. Enjoying the pool and hot tub.

[yakkolicious]

Wakko Headcanons

Been a bit since I did the Yakko headcanons, so, I figured I should do some for Wakko! He’s second in the order, lol.

Wakko doesn’t sing Wakko’s America that often, and certainly not as much as Yakko sings Yakko’s World. This is because Wakko’s America is a much more complex song lyrically (50 states, 50 capitals, DC, AND some extra words! Wakko’s messed up before) and also that Wakko doesn’t want to ruin the novelty of his song. It works, and not many people are annoyed by it, at least not as many as are annoyed by Yakko’s World.

Wakko is a BEATLES FANATIC. He knows every Beatles song, all sorts of Beatles trivia, has merch plastered all over his room, and has had mancrushes on all four members of the Fab Four at one point or another. Sometimes, he’ll just randomly start singing Beatles songs.

Wakko is NOT allowed to cook, for several reasons. However, one time, after drinking everything in the water tower and getting thirsty, he took an empty bottle of hot sauce and who knows what and invented something known as the bottle of doom. The bottle tastes different to everyone who tries it: Wakko thinks it just tastes like tap water, Yakko thinks it’s grape-flavored medicine, while Dot thinks it actually is straight hot sauce. For whatever reason, the bottle tastes better to non-Warners than it does to relatives of the Warners.

Wakko definitely has quite the inventive streak. He’s also invented a musical instrument (or rather, put together) called the kazookaphone. It’s literally just seven rainbow-colored kazoos connected together and somehow able to play a full octave. Wakko says that it’s his cartoon powers.

He can use his tongue like a third arm if he needs to. It’s certainly not the most sanitary thing in the world, but if Wakko ever gets tied up for some reason, usually his tongue isn’t accounted for, and it has come in handy multiple times.

Wakko is a TERRIBLE liar. He couldn’t lie to save his life. He tries his best, but he just can’t and quickly gives himself away. He also has no poker face.

Although he seems perfectly happy, Wakko has some bad self-esteem issues. He’s constantly doubting himself and his abilities. He tries his best to help out, but he feels like he’s a terrible brother a lot. He tries to hide his problems, but once again, he sucks at lying. Yakko and Dot are always there for Wakko if he needs someone to talk to or just someone to listen to him or cheer him up.

[organic-guacamole]

episode 209 spoilers below

I'm so late today but here it is

I love EJ, he's finally learning to be happy. I'm so proud.

Ms Jenn = every boomer during zoom calls, like jeez yes we can hear you stop shouting at me.

LOVE THE SUBTLE JOKE ABOUT QUARANTINE "these dark times" "you mean spring break?"

ah yes, remember when we thought covid was just gonna give us a longer spring break? good times

SEBLOS

damn the passive aggressiveness from Carlos and the absolutely over it tone from seb✋

CASWELL COUSINS!!!!! THEY'RE THE BEST!!!!

we needed more if this kind of goofiness for the first part of season 2 that only such an iconic duo can provide.

old old movies-

is it even that old, or is Nini being a gen alpha rn-

i choose to imagine EJ being scared of the movie and hiding in Ashlyn's shoulder while she keeps a straight face and then EJ pretending to be tough afterwards

aww redlyn are soulmates.... yknow, if gingers had souls

(please ignore me)

y'all saw how EJ's face *lit up* when Gina logged on? how dare you tell me he doesn't like her

ofc she's no damsel in distress, she's Gina porter, she's amazing.

so do we think she'd be the type to just glare at suspicious people? or bark at them

do they not know that Rini broke up? or is Ms Jenn just wanting Nini to suffer through her heartbreak to make her a better actress....

speaking of, why is Nini in the call? she's not in the show anymore. Unless she is, even after the rose and the song got cut, which would be so unfair to all those that auditioned properly before she even came back but whatever, she's the main character I get it 🙄

big red is a hero honestly, Nini better thank him for changing the subject like that

I can't-

i won't work you over the break-

this woman would 100% work her kids 24/7 if it was legal and idk how to feel about it.

YES GINA USE THAT CHARM

QUEEN

FRENCH QUEEN

SHE LEARNT FROM THE BEST (antoine obvi)

smh the airport lady, eavesdropping on Gina's call.

The way she was so happy to answer EJ's call, "eej"

I love them your honour.

EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YES PLEASE

great now we need to see Gina, Ashlyn and EJ having a complete spa day and EJ getting really into it and Gina and Ashlyn take pictures of him when he's laying down in a robe with a mask and cucumbers on his eyes.

finally we get to see Gina's side of portwell

the way she considered it as flirting, this is the sign she asked for in episode 6 come onnnnn

no is Asher/jack really doing tiktok dances in an airport-

Ricky is me. I am burrito.

oh Lynne, sweetie, I'm sorry but the blonde hair is not it

is that even the same lady or-

THE BEAN

THE CHICAGO BEAN

THE BIG OLD METAL BEAN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CITY 😭

jetlag is my go to excuse for anything... I haven't travelled in 2 years.

"welcome to the Lynne and Mike gossip show. where we talk about our depressed son that we both neglect in certain ways! And now a word from our sponsor, Nord VPN..."

SO MANY CANDLES

WHAT DEMON IS LYNNE TRYING TO SUMMON IN HIS ROOM-

is Nina becoming social media obsessed EJ from season 1? AND SHE LIED ABOUT HAVING SONGS TOO PLEASE WHY ARW THEY RECYCLING THE SAME PLOT-

Gina smiling at the picture of her family on Instagram makes me so happy, idek why.

EJ's nails are so pretty, we needed to see it more (unless he had it on for the rest of the episode and I just.... didn't notice🧍🏽‍♀️)

oh not the tiktok kid✋

yes ma'am end this strange mans whole tiktok career

sir take a hint and leave

GINA NO DONT SAY YOUR LAST NAME HE COULD BE A HUMAN TRAFFICKER

Ricky, walking in style✨

weird kid, ok then Lynne, can't you see he's this close to the edge?

not all your fault baby Ricky, Nini sucks a bit more

RICKY YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HARD ON THE SONG-

YOU ASKED WHAT IT WAS ABOUT AND SHE SHUT YOU DOWN-

PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF

ok but the deleting comment thing was very bad

still don't know if I like Jack honestly

hmmm so Nini's calling herself Nini instead of Nina in her little egg seat, while trying to write a song without inspiration.... Nini, honey, Ricky was your muse, he inspired you to write all those songs, even if it wasn't good for the relationship.

that doesn't mean you gotta get back with him, or that you can't write a song that not about him butttt it'll take some time

the rainbow sticker in her box and her rainbow shirt-

anyways wbk she's not totally straight

Jack are you a criminal?

quick, Gina, check his ankle for a tracker

THE YES AND PRACTICE STRIKES AGAIN

the way Gina wasn't into it in episode 6 but she's used the technique twice now

stole her grandma's Pomeranian-

Jack where the hell did you pull that out from-

the fake crying killed me, that looks like so much fun though

anyone wanna raid a first class lounge with me?

wait so is jack not gonna go in with her?

wouldn't he go in too? help look for the credit card? SO CONFUSED

the first class lounge guy was so into the drama though, watch his face when they start arguing 😭

sorry to break this to you Kourtney, but you haven't even blocked the second act yet soooo...

take that as you will

I love how all of them are totally dissing the dance off

that's the most realistic part of this show tbh

shouldn't Nini have asked how she knew....since the start? why is the fact that her best friend has knowledge of a North high secret now dawning on her...

Howie is sweet honestly, at least he's trying to help. but I stand with Kourtney, don't take him back just because he sang an amazing song, and is giving you a heads up on what's gonna happen...

KOURTNEY IS ME TRYING TO LEAVE AN ONLINE CLASS

I hate school

ooo Nini's writing a song about bad internet connection 🤩🤩🤩

I never lie, except when I do-

son that is the creepiest thing you could say to a stranger that you've been "helping"

2 truths and a lie👀

he's an Ariana fan 100%

called it.

OLDER BROTHER-

WHAT-

free spirit? damn so brother porter was in that horse movie

so has she been kissed or not?????????

I feel like she's moved more than 15 times though so possibly

but then if she's moved so much, and before east high she never opened up to anyone, she's never been kissed then?? damn

same though Gina so let's be besties please

heartbreak president is a great song title idea, give Nini a call rn

but wait

is the no strings attached feeling thing about her telling Ricky she liked him? she thought she was moving away so she thought it'd be no strings attached???

guys I think I figured it out insert the "I've connected two dots" meme

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND'S

OMG I LOVE I LOVE

NOT THAT I KNOW OF???

ma'am did you just kill me

yes you did

Lynne and Ricky have such a weird relationship

YES IT DID SUCK

TODD SUCKS

LYNNE SUCKS

yeah I get that you wanted Ricky to like Todd BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME

right so we already know that Ricky was so desperate to keep Nini cuz he didn't want to be like his parents, and now Lynne's talking about this-

Richard needs a long hug

yes Lynne, it is your fault. thank you for finally admitting it.

YES DYE YOUR HAIR

BLOND HIGHLIGHTS RICKY WILL RISE AGAIN

"sometimes the best, last thing you can do for someone you love, is let them go."

gotta admit I teared up at that point

not me thinking big red was calling ms Jenn cupcake for a hot second-

Carlos please omg, you're at the "beach" and they're leaving for the pool?

also, why not just do the call from the hotel room please omg

"don't ask me"

"Carlos"

OMG WHAT HAPPENED

big red wants the tea

O M G

SEB IS JEALOUS

JEALOUS SEBBY IS MY FAVOURITE THING IDC

I'm surprised ms Jenn knew how to give Nini permission to screenshare tbh

So lily's been stalking the East high kids and spending time editing this video while she's supposedly in an immersion trip.... right

EJ and Ashlyn's picture is so chaotic, what even is happening there

"slacking off" bestie its spring break, obviously they're confident enough that they'll get it done in time so why not focus on your own musical.

jealous seb = sassy seb

please what if those guys Carlos is posing with are his cousins or something and that's why he's so confused about Seb

6 YEAR OLD EJ I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

Nini saying she's obsessed with her ex, that's not weird at all 👍

I can just tell Matt had a blast harassing Julia with those puppets.

Jack please dont be like that, "yet"

chances are you'll never see eachother again 🥰

(honestly sometimes I really miss those friends I made on trips and stuff when we'd spend the day or week together, only to never see them again....those were the good days though)

Ashlyn and Nini should write more songs..... something better than this one at least

Nini: "im good"

cue the Tia Mowry (please I can't spell) crying gif

oh I forgot Ricky was in the show for a hot second

1. where did Gina get to film this without people being around

2. did she just... randomly change her clothes???

ok but the transition between Carlos and EJ

*chefs kiss*

now everyone shut up, EJ's singing

oh i think I'm pregnant

HIS MUSCLES

YES KOURTNEY

I love how big red and Kourtney went from being "the best friends™" to the couple in season 1, to kinda close themselves and having their own plots

sebby makes me so happy

props to biggies editing skills honestly

PORTWELL BEING SIDE TO SIDE I CANT

AND SEBLOS OMG

big red lives for the drama

"wow" so true Ricky

no he is not cute, stop it

"holding" ok that's kinda cute

yeah EJ's a lucky guy😌

jokes aside, it's not that hard to exchange numbers-

keep in touch if you want

ok I really like Jack now

if he comes back in season 3, maybe have him be LGBTQ+ ?

like the only out characters they have rn are Seb and Carlos and they're like the sterotypes, yk?

I'd love to see jack kinda break the mold

Ricky's breaking my heart

that song just hurts

the only thing

now I don't hate Lynne????????

HOW DARE THEY WRITE IN A PROPER REDEMPTION ARC FOR HER

UGH IM SUPPOSED TO HATE HER FOREVER

I mean I don't live her now but she's good

but honestly

"mom can I show you something"

IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL

THE PICTURE AND EVERYTHING OMG

I'm sobbing please help

Gina saying she's just waiting for the right guy and then EJ coming to the airport to pick her up late at night without her asking, offering to bring her back in the morning so she won't have to Uber, bringing her a granola bar (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE FORGOT TO PACK) and without expecting anything in return???

ms ma'am you've got a keeper right there

her smile at the end was so heartwarming I really can't.

this episode was great.

it felt really short but I liked it, great character development for Ricky, Lynne and Gina.

Cant wait for next episode to see more of EJ being the ideal boyfriend /hj

[yyxgin]

🌃 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 || 𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐣𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠

☆ han jisung x fem! reader ☆

☆ GENRE: college au, best friends to lovers au, fluff

☆ SUMMARY: There’s only one thing that can help your stressed out mind when you have a week left to finish the most important assignment for your art class of them all, and that is the honey voice of your best friend. What a shame he’s too shy to sing sometimes.

☆ WORDS: 5k 

☆ WARNINGS: swearing and that is it me thinks

You hear the silent melody coming from your best friend sitting on the other side of the couch, quiet hums gradually flowing into coherent words as he mindlessly scrolls through social media on his phone, his low singing filling your empty living room as you take your eyes off your phone and watch him. 

He looks casual, just like always. The army-green hoodie looks about two times his size enveloping his body, the hood thrown over his head to hide his messy hair, sweatpants hiding a little bit of his foot as well as if to make him look extra tiny today. The song coming out of his mouth sounds similar, yet it still sounds new to you when you catch him randomly singing during the day on times when he forgets he doesn't want anyone to hear.

"It cannot wait, I'm yours-" his head snaps up to meet your eyes, immediately shutting up and looking back to his phone screen. 

"No, why'd you stop?" you whine, pouting. His voice is good. Too good, for never getting singing lessons and basically not even trying while he sings. 

"'Cause it sounds bad," he mutters, furrowing his brows.

"It doesn't." you firmly say, desperate to make your best friend believe your words in order to hear him sing more often. For some reason, his singing always managed to bring a sense of comfort into your heart. It felt like the sunlight shining at you in the cold days of winter, sweet and soothing for your freezing heart.

"Yeah, right," his cheeks flash pink, rolling his eyes. 

"You hear me singing all the time and I sound like a dying racoon, I really don't understand why you're so shy about it when you sound like angels coming down to earth to bless us all," you giggle, poking his sides.

He laughs softly at your compliment, shaking his head. This was how it usually went. 

He started singing out of the blue, you stopped everything you were doing just to listen to him, then he realised you became too quiet and stopped in the very second. 

"I wish you sang more. I like your voice," you point out, watching him flash an even deeper shade of pink as he shyly giggles at your confession.

"Sorry to break it to you, but I won't," he shakes his head in disapproval. It annoyed you, how he just never seemed to believe your words.

"But why? You never believe me when I tell you you sound good," you pout, furrowing your eyebrows and throwing your fists in the air in a sense of frustration.

"And that, my dear, is called not believing in yourself." he giggles, making you roll your eyes. 

"I don't get it," you sigh, standing up and moving to the kitchen, "anyways, I am on my way to paint the rest of the assignment I have for my art class, so if you don't want to sing me something, at least put some music on," you yell white putting your empty mug into the sink.

As you walk back to the living room with your art supplies you managed to snatch from the desk where you put them before, you hear the familiar sound of your bluetooth speaker turning on, making you sigh. And that's for your daily dose of Han Jisung's singing. You sit cross-legged at the ground, taking your paint brushes into your hand, hearing the song he decided to put on playing from the speaker. You recognise it being the one he was humming to himself just a few minutes ago, smiling.

"What is the theme anyway?" he asks, genuinely curious.

"Nature," you roll your eyes, not really interested in painting trees the tiniest bit, but having to do it anyway, because you can’t just paint whatever you want and get away with it in your art class.

"So like, trees and stuff?" he teases you, knowing damn well how much you don't like the particular assignment in the first place.

"Trees, mountains, butterflies…" you ironically smile, blobbing a whole lot of green paint onto your palette, grunting, "and I wanted to be chosen for the showcase this year, but I guess we'll have to wait until the theme is not about rocks and rivers." you scoff.

"Oh please, you'll do great anyway," encourages you Jisung, "you can paint well even if it's just trees and mountains." 

"I'm not Bob Ross, Jisung." you mutter, hating the way the green paint looks on the canvas in the first place.

"Yes you are," he giggles, "you paint just like him." 

"Tells me the one who sounds like Mariah Carey but tries to act like he can't sing," you tease back, enjoying the way his eyebrows furrow at your comment.

"I can't do whistle notes yet," he smirks.

The car rides with Jisung were probably your most favorite. It wasn't for the fact that he doesn't drive too fast like most of your friends do, since as he said, he doesn't trust himself to slow down if he strats, but truth be told, that was also one of the reasons. But the main reason is, that you always get to hear him singing along to the radio, even if it's kind of difficult to hear over the loud music and the original singer. That doesn’t matter, though, because even the tiniest sign of him singing around you made you happy. 

He doesn't seem to care as he yells the words to Riptide by Vance Joy on the top of his lungs, sounding like the song belongs to him, parking the car in the almost empty parking lot at Michael's craft store.

"No problem. What even happened, anyway?" he furrows his brows at you, confused on why you suddenly hit him up out of the blue in the evening as you swore on your life you couldn't hang out because you have to finish that disgusting assignment for your art class.

"Thanks." you smile at him as you ubuckle your seat-belt and open the door to his car. 

"I fucked up on the painting and now I need to buy some new canvases," you grunt, rolling your eyes, "and green paint. A whole lot of green paint." 

He snickers a little as he walks by your side, quickly turning around to lock his car and bringing his attention back to you, "I am sure it wasn't even that bad in the first place and you're just over-reacting." 

"Yes it was, Jisung, you didn't see the disaster that painting became. I wanted to paint a bear and it looked like a degenerated pine tree." you blurb out, frustrated, as you take the shopping cart to your hands only for it to be snatched by the hands of your best friend helping you.

"Well, you could always say you wanted to be a little abstract," he grins at you.

"Yeah, sure. Miss Kim would absolutely kill me and I wouldn't get to the showcase this year again. Why am I majoring in art in the first place when I can't even get to the school's art showcase? That prick Minho got in three times already and he said he doesn't even like art in the first place!" you say, gritting your teeth.

"Why is he majoring in art, then?" asks Jisung, confused.

"Because he wanted a degree and he said it was the easiest major to pick," you roll your eyes. 

"Well, I mean that is kind of smart, I should have picked that instead of business-" 

"Jisung, you can't draw." you laugh.

"And? We were all born to express, not to impress," he waves his arms in the air, grinning. You laugh at his expression, facepalming as you reach for three containers of green paint from the counter and throwing it into the cart.

"If this is not enough of green paint, I swear to god I will kick something-" 

"Hey! Peace. Think of the pigeons. Rainbows. Sunshine," he recitates, motioning you to breathe deeply to calm down your nerves, giggling in the process.

"Fuck the pigeons! I tried to paint one yesterday and it turned into a fucking rock in the air!" you throw a fit, making him shush you as a few people turn around to see your distressed state.

"Calm down, woman," he says, putting an arm on your back, gently pushing you to the cashier, "it's just a painting. You'll do great, don't worry. You're just stressing too much." 

You grunt as you see another ruined canvas, throwing the brush onto the ground, muttering a quiet swear as you notice the paint on the floor, quickly taking a tissue and wiping it off.

"What's gotten into you? It's okay," sweetly says Jisung, once again sitting at your sofa and watching over you as you try to paint your assignment again. 

"It looks bad! Just look at it! I have a week left and I already ruined three canvases, at this rate, I won't be able to even finish it, I can only dream of getting to the showcase," you mourn, throwing yourself to the ground and hiding your face in your hands.

"You just have to take it easy, you're pressuring yourself too much-" 

"I've heard that already." you cut him off, growling. 

You lay there for a while, breathing heavily, collecting your thoughts. Once you manage to calm down, you sit up and look at your best friend watching over you on the sofa, sighing. "I'm sorry. I'm just stressed out. I didn't mean to snap at you." 

"It's okay." he nods, seeing you taking the brush into your hand again and trying to fix the blob of paint that was supposed to look like a squirrel, much reminding you of your dear best friend sitting next to you. 

You feel a gentle grip on your hand after a few seconds, taking the brush out of it and putting it to the table. You furrow your brows and look at him, confused on why he is suddenly stopping you from your work, the contact of his skin on yours surprising you a little.

"We're done with painting today." he sternly says, stopping you.

"Ji, I have a week left to-" 

"That's a lot of time! Stand up, we're having a karaoke night." he grins at you, pulling you up to your feet, as he takes his phone laying on the sofa into his hands and connects it to the bluetooth speaker.

"I have no time to have a karaoke night Jisung, what even is that-" 

"Pick a song. Any song. We're about to sing our hearts out tonight and my mission won't be considered successful until your neighbours come to complain," he grins, giving the phone into your hand with his spotify app open already. 

You look at him dead serious for a moment before sighing and looking through his embarrassingly long spotify playlist called ‘bops only’. "Fine," you sigh, "but just this once. And if they call the police on us, you're paying the fine for disturbing the silent hours." 

"I didn't say anything about that-" 

"Blah blah blah, I can't hear you!" you giggle, putting on I will survive by Gloria Gaynor on full volume to cut him off, throwing the phone back onto the sofa as you prepare for your singing solo.

You sneak your arms around his neck, dancing and laughing in the process as you loudly scream the lyrics into his face. He smiles at the sight, content with the fact that he managed to cheer you up so quickly, putting his arms on your hips as he jumps up and down, joining you in singing once the song hits the chorus. 

And just this once, as his arms steadily hold your body and you throw a tantrum in your living room, he doesn't even care that you hear him sing as he knows you like to hear his voice. Maybe, just maybe, that was the reason why he suggested a karaoke night to cheer you up in the first place anyway.

"What do you mean you're not gonna be here on my birthday?" you pout from the ground, focused on the canvas right in front of you. 

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? But my mum really needs me to come help her with the atic, and you know how she gets when I refuse to come home at least once a month even though I constantly tell her I don't have the time to travel for 45 minutes just so she can see my face once in a while…" sighs Jisung, laying on your sofa so his head is now facing the same way yours does, and that is, your half-empty canvas.

"I know, I know. But does it really have to be on my birthday? You're going to be away for three days, and the showcase is on Friday…" you mumble, "if I get there, of course." you sigh.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, sounding genuinely concerned. It was currently Monday and your birthday was on Thursday, which meant you had four days to finish your art piece to submit it on the exact day of your birthday to see if your teacher accepts it for the showcase of the following day. And you're not even halfway done with your work! To be exact, you feel like you're gonna fail and to not have your best friend by your side to help you through your stress, you truly feel like you'll go insane.

"I know," you sigh, "it's okay. I guess I'll just… manage, somehow." you scoff.

"You can always celebrate with that friend from your art class, and we'll celebrate together on Saturday, when I come back. What was that kid's name again?" he furrows his brows at you, turning your way to see your focused face.

"You mean Hyunjin? No, thank you. He'd just want me to get drunk and I really don't need that the day before the showcase," you mumble, painting the leaves of the tree carefully, focusing on every single detail. Jisung always adored your talent. Everything you ever drew was a masterpiece in his eyes. He even kept the notes you gave to him in high school once when he was sick and you managed to take notes for him as well when you shared a Chemistry class, sneaking a few doodles on the sides when you got bored of listening to the teacher, "but that will come handy when I don't get in again, so I'll consider it." you roll your eyes.

"You will get in." he reassures you again, finding your eyes.

"I doubt that," you bitterly laugh. 

"Ugh, stop that already," he grunts, focusing on the canvas again, feeling relaxed just at watching you do your magic, but you throw the paintbrush on the table again at that exact moment and run your hands through your hair in frustration.

"What?" 

"It looks like shit. Again." you exclaim. 

His eyes go wide at the sentence, disbelief washing over him. Did you really think that?

"What the fuck? It doesn't! It looks amazing, trust me," he says, reaching his arms to you, taking you by the shoulder from his position on the sofa.

"I am so stressed Jisung, I feel like I'm about to go insane." you whisper, sighing.

You don't have to say more for Jisung to stand up from his position on the sofa only to sit on the ground behind you, sneaking his arms around your middle and bringing you close to him, gently rocking you in your position on the floor. You feel his nose nuzzling into the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent as he quickly pecks your cheek and settles his head back onto your shoulder.

You hear him softly singing into your ear, the words filling your insides with gold as his voice feels like honey, calming you down from the storm happening inside of you like a brim of light. 

"And I see colors in a different way, you make what doesn't matter fade to grey, life is good and that's the way it should be," he sings softly, a wide smile appearing on your features with every next word.

His voice calms your nerves as you slowly relax in his hold, your bodies gently rocking to the rhythm of the song as it slowly ends and his voice grows quieter. 

He hated singing in front of people. 

But to see you smile, he would go as far as overcoming his biggest fears. Because when you need him, he will always be there.

"Jisung, I have no time for this, I already told you I need to finish the assignment-" you mumble as you sit in his car, his smiling face looking at you from the driver's seat.

"I'm leaving tomorrow morning and I can't have you painting for more than an hour today because I feel like you'll break down if you do, so let's go. And you're already in the car, so there's no escape anyway." he explains, waiting for you to buckle in your seatbelt.

You just sigh and look out the window, biting down on your lip. If he keeps distracting you this much, you'll never finish the assignment.

You hear him softly singing along with the radio, careful not to disturb him in fear of making him stop, smiling to yourself as you let him drive you to an unfamiliar place in the middle of the night. You count the lampposts, the habit you grew to have since you were little, before they disappear and you're on a road shadowed by tall trees, the headlights of Jisung's car being the only thing illuminating the road. 

You recognise you're going up a hill, looking over at him, seeing him focused on the road.

As you reach the top, Jisung stops the car and gets out, you follow him as he waits for you by the door to the passenger’s side. 

As soon as you look around, you're amazed by the sight in front of you. You have a view of the city far, far away in the distance as you see the dell illuminated by the subtle glow of the moon sitting up in the starry sky. You watch the sight with an open mouth, awe washing over you as you just can't keep your eyes off the landscape in front of you.

"Wow," you breathe out.

You feel his hand gripping yours as he leads you to the edge of the hill, sitting at the giant rock there, pulling you down next to him as you watch the nature breathe in front of you. His hand doesn't leave yours as he speaks up after a while.

"You like it?" he asks, quiet enough to not disturb the atmosphere.

"Yeah," you whisper. You see him moving closer to you from the corner of your eye, his head leaning on your shoulder as he enjoys your presence.

"I wanted to show you this before I go, so you have a moment to breathe for a second before you throw yourself into the stress again," he mumbles, gently playing with the fingers of your hand.

"Thank you," you speak, breathing in the chilly air of the forest.

You stay like that for a while, just gazing over the beauty of it all, making you feel like the time stopped for the two of you only as you enjoy the seconds that pass. The full moon watches over the two of you, captivating you as you look at it with a feeling of delight. You hear his gentle voice in your ear again, singing softly and beautifully, sounding magical at the top of the hill, once again filling your ears with melody as your insides tingle. 

"Fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars, and let me see what spring is like on a-Jupiter and Mars," he sings, voice tender and sweet, slowing down the tempo of the song on purpose.

"In other words, baby, kiss me," he sings softly, voice fading as his eyes move to your lips, the silence of the hill and the light breeze tickling your skin.

You feel your eyes wandering to his lips, nervously licking yours in the process. You see him hesitantly move closer to you, stopping halfway to see if you pull away, taking his other hand and resting it on your cheek. His breath fans your face as he moves even closer, nudging your nose with his, eyes gazing to yours, your trembling fingers squeezing his hand as if to tell him to go ahead, fluttering your eyelids close.

Once the moment finally comes and his shy lips press to yours, you feel yourself responding immediately, moving with him as the familiar feeling of the sun in your stomach greets you with full force, your other hand going up to rest on his neck. 

When he pulls away and rests his forehead against yours, you can't help but smile. His soft giggle fills your ears like music, your lips meeting his in a soft, quick peck in the instance.

"In other words, hold my hand," he continues, softly squeezing your hand resting in his lap, making you look at him, locking your eyes with his as he stares at you, gaze full of stars.

Han Jisung's always been your best friend. But perhaps tonight, you finally understood the fact that life feels sweet as honey anytime he's around you. 

In other words, you love him.

You toss and turn in your bed, tears silently falling down your cheeks on a Wednesday night. Jisung's left this morning and you didn't even finish doing your assignment. You had the whole day for it today without anyone bothering you, but turns out, you managed to hate the painting you did anyway. 

It just didn't look good in your eyes. It looked gross. Horrible. When you compare yourself to the other people in your class, you feel like your art is worthless. It always somehow managed to look bad. And everybody knew. 

You were the only one who wasn’t good enough to get into the annual art showcase in your three years of college. 

Did you even improve at all? 

You turn around in your bed, seeing your phone light up with a new notification, opening it and wiping your tears away in the process so you can see though your blurry eyes. 

'How did the assignment go?' there states, Jisung's name appearing on the message app, your insides automatically calming down a little at the thought of your best friend.

'Don't even ask', you shoot him a reply, sighing deeply to stop the salty tears from falling. 

'It's okay, baby' he replies instantly, your heart racing at the nickname appearing on your screen, bitterly laughing at yourself for acting like a schoolgirl when it comes to Jisung. When did your feelings even grow into something more in the first place? It seemed like it was that way from the start. Perhaps you were just too oblivious to notice.

'It's not. Didn't even finish it. Kicked it when I fucked up again and just gave up.' you type, already friends with the feeling of defeat and failure you've been feeling since the evening.

He doesn't respond for a while, making you think he fell asleep with the phone in his hand again, turning around in your bed to put the phone back onto your bedside table to try to fall asleep on your own as well, when a new message lights up your screen.

You see a voice memo appearing in your messages with Jisung, your heart thumping at the image of hearing his voice this late in the evening, quickly pressing the play button and listening to what he had to say.

"Hi, umm- I've never actually done this before, but I know you're probably feeling like shit right now and I need you to know that you are not a failure, because I know you feel like one right now," you giggle a little at the accuracy, his low voice making you feel things you didn’t even know you could feel before, "anyways, I need you to be kind to yourself tonight. And since I know you like it when I sing, here's a little something…" he mumbles into the phone, making your heart race.

"Here goes nothing," he softly laughs, and clears his throat, beginning to sing, "Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you," his voice feels soft through the speaker, your eyes welling up with tears again, but this time, they're of appreciation and pure love for the boy laying in his bed 45 minutes away from you, because you know just how nervous he must have felt to sing into his phone just for you.

"Shall I stay? Would it be a sin, if I can't help falling in love with you?" he finishes, his voice fading away, your insides melting. How did you get so lucky? 

"And now go to sleep. It's your birthday tomorrow, we don’t want you to feel sad on your special day. Good night, baby." he sounds, the nickname bringing another set of butterflies into your stomach. 

You wish you could do as he told you. But at that exact moment, you bring yourself to try again, you make yourself stand up from your bed and move to your living room as you take a new canvas with you, inspiration kicking you with full force, taking tubes of paint and a paintbrush into your hand as you begin to work on your assignment, trying again just one last time.

You stand in front of your painting, watching over it with proud eyes. The chatter of people around you is only a background noise in your ears as you smile brightly at the assignment you finished just the time the clock striked midnight on Wednesday. 

"Yaaah y/n, it looks so good," you hear the voice of Lee Minho call next to you, patting your shoulder.

You grin and turn to look at him, gratitude washing over you upon hearing the compliment. "Thanks." 

"I wondered when you're finally going to be on a showcase, I don't understand why neither of your previous assignments made it," he mutters, shaking his head, "but this looks great. It's original." he nods.

"Thank you, Minho," you only smile wider, the pride in you growing minute by minute, "yours looks great too, by the way. I like the colors." 

"Really? I hate it. I never hated a theme more than this," he huffs, "who the fuck thinks nature is entertaining to paint?" 

"I know, right? I had four mental breakdowns over it," you laugh, now that the suffering is finally over and you can breathe freely.

"Did you use reference for this?" he asks suddenly, pointing to the painting hanging on the middle of the wall.

"No, I did it from memory…" you mumble, sighing.

You watch Minho's eyes shifting somewhere behind you, grinning widely at something that caught his eye, prompting you to look that way only to be left in a state of absolute shock. 

The talking of the people filling the showcase gradually stops as they see Han Jisung holding a plate of a strawberry cheesecake with a single candle stuck to the middle of it, moving slowly not to make the light flicker die down, the grinning face of Hwang Hyunjin following his steps with a bottle on champagne in his hands doing grimaces at you from afar as a honey voice calls through the room.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear y/n," he looks at you, eyes big and full of love, as he finally reaches your figure in the middle of the room,

"Happy birthday to you!" he finishes, your soft giggles cutting through the hall as you move to blow out the candle and gaze onto the face of your best friend.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were coming in the evening!" you yell, throwing yourself into his arms. It was only three days, but you already missed him too much.

"I escaped," he laughs, his whole body shaking in the process as you pull away after a second, "I'm joking. I couldn't stay with my mother knowing I'm gonna miss your first ever showcase." 

You smile warmly at him, the people around you disappearing in the moment, only his figure standing out to you in the haze as he hesitantly moves over and locks your lips in a quick kiss. 

You ignore the howling of Lee Minho coming from your left and the loud 'Finally!!' from the lips of Hwang Hyunjin to your right as Jisung turns to your painting, smiling widely at the sight.

"It looks so real," he mumbles in awe, noticing the way his insides turn into a puddle of sweet joy as he recognises the night view of the dell he showed you on the night of your first kiss, instantly realising the way you must have painted it after he sent you the voice memo to sing you to sleep on the Wednesday night. 

"You inspired me," you grin brightly. 

"Don't say that." he shyly looks down on his feet.

"But it's true." you prompt.

He smiles lightly, shaking his head before locking your eyes again. 

"I just realised I left your gift at home. Look at me, wishing you happy birthday a day later and not even bringing you a gift to make up for it…" he mutters, stepping closer to you and putting an arm around your shoulder in the process.

"That's okay," you say, and you really mean it. You are the happiest you've ever been right now, feeling accomplished and with him by your side. You don’t need any other gift.

"Well, I have one thing in my mind that can count as a gift, though," he smirks.

"And that is?" 

"I can finally be your boyfriend. I mean, isn't that the best gift you’ve ever gotten?" he grins, prompting you to elbow him lightly in the ribs as you burst into a fit of laughter.

"You're such a dork, I swear to god…"

"But I am your dork, right?" 

You sigh, playfully rolling your eyes. "Yes, Jisung. You are my dork. Only mine."

[hazzabeeforlou]

Fine Line Masterpost:

A breakdown, musically and lyrically 

In Fine Line, ‘raw honesty’ doesn’t really mean delving into the details of who Harry Styles is sleeping with, but rather it’s a glimpse into the world of a 25-year-old who is both deeply in love and who fucks up a lot; he’s given to sugary supplications, is plagued by jealousy, pouts at consequences, and struggles with understanding an inner self that keeps prodding him towards exploration of his identity.  

The album is constructed to be consumed by various factions of the fandom. There’s no getting away from the surface dedication of HS2 as an ode to a blonde supermodel with a delicious French accent whose new boyfriend’s father owns a gallery, a girl who has golden hair and blue eyes. I won’t be arguing that away, because it’s intentional, it’s meant to be the surface layer. 

The mantle is not the crust, though. Taken individually, each song can be seen as speaking to the queer experience in varied and complex ways, and I’ve seen some truly beautiful explorations of this angle. Especially with TPWK and FL, the anthemic solidarity with queer experience is astounding and gorgeous. I think it’s no accident that this broad take holds true as we zoom in and look at the complex details; Harry has written songs that speak both to this meaning and also hold incredibly personal and intimate significance between him and a partner (in this post we’ll call them Subject). 

I will be focusing on the album as a cohesive narrative in the context of it’s chronological, linear progression. Fine Line details an incredibly personal struggle; it’s a love letter, an at times embarrassing, self-loathing reflection on a love gone wrong, a love struggling, an emerging self, and a hope redeemed. 

Please feel free to ask questions if any of the technical stuff is confusing, but please also remember that these are my opinions, coupled with my analysis as a professional musician (meaning, hopefully I’m remembering those torturous years of theory dictation correctly!) 

Side A 

All four songs share an off-kilter-ness, a restless, unsettled, frantic feeling, as if Harry is balancing, undecided between throwing himself at the feet of the one he loves or pulling away. This is no illusion; the tonic base is missing from each song save WS (but even here the tonic is sabotaged in our ear, as we’ll discuss). We’re on a journey to side B; we start with a hope that sweet memories and lust can salvage love, and we end with Harry going his own way.

Golden: There are only two chords in this song, DM and CM7, the V and IV7 of the implied tonic, G Major. We never get to tonic though. We never touch that home base. The songs “da da da’s” give it a happier, peppier illusion than the text reveals. 

Harry is already broken, already reflecting and hopeless as the song begins. His intended listener, Subject - the sun, the golden one - waits for him in the sky, and is all he’s ever known. Subject has always browned his skin just right, but now, Harry reflects, perhaps has been too bright for him. (Is some aspect of Harry buried in the brilliance of Subject’s light?) This golden Subject is scared, though, scared Harry is so open. Harry doesn’t want to be alone, but he also needs to peel back edges of himself previously unexplored. Stepping into and away from light is a major theme for Harry, and this opening song sets that precedent. Subject is scared because “hearts get broken,” but Harry’s heart is already broken, so perhaps this refers not to interpersonal heartbreak, but situational. Harry recognizes he’s “out of his head...” BUT, he counters, “Loving you’s the antidote!” He naively gushes out poetry while Subject remains unconvinced. We establish an impasse. 

Watermelon Sugar: The Dm - Cm - Am6 - GM chord progression is an odd one; my best guess is that the song is in D minor, so the progression is: 

i, VII, v, IV

 That’s not typical in a minor key. Usually the leading tone note (in this case a C) is raised (so C#) making the five chord Major (V) not minor (v) and the seven chord diminished (viio) not Major (VII). also the Major IV ignores the B flat in the key signature of D minor and instead uses B natural. So all this to say that the tonic base STILL doesn’t feel like a tonic home, because the normalcy around the key signature is erased. Everything still feels unsettled, unresolved. 

Much has been made of the oral sex interpretation, so, ya. This is a song about remembering the best of times, a prayer to Subject, a plea for summertime and bellies and strawberries, and a feeling Harry is desperate to get back. 

Adore You: The three chords in this song, Cm - BbM - AbM, imply an E flat Major key, so vi, V, IV, respectively. The tonic, Eb (I), is (once again) never used, and instead vi, V, IV circle without ever coming to rest. 

Subject, “Honey,” creates a rainbow paradise. This is another love letter to Subject, let me adore you, I’ll walk through fire for you, you don’t have to say anything just listen to me, you don’t have to say you love me too, just please, please... you’ve been on my mind. Let me adore you like it’s the only thing I’ll ever do. By this wording, Harry admits that adoring Subject is not the only thing he ever does, yet he wishes Subject to remember, or imagine, this false reality. 

Lights Up: We’re in C Major here, with the chords Am - GM - FM, creating the same exact chord progression as Adore You, vi, V, IV. We (yet again!) never reach the tonic of C Major. It’s a constant tease of resolution, but there’s no solid home base. We’re suspended in limbo. 

Subject is “sorry, btw.” What does that mean, Harry asks? Sorry we’re here in this place, that this is happing? This song is Harry’s declaration: he’s not staying, he’s not coming back down. It would be sweet if things stayed the same, but no, I’m stepping into the light. “All the lights couldn’t put out the dark”... even all the golden sun of Subject couldn’t heal the void in Harry’s soul?  Harry asks subject, do you know who you are? implying that he’s determined to answer this for himself. I’m reminded of the crab in Moana, singing “Shiny.” There’s a certain bravado here, a reckless glittery happiness, a flaunting, an exuberance in discovery. 

Side B 

Tonics are all over the place. Harry is certainly certain about heartbreak. No ambiguity here. 

Cherry: GM - Em - CM, or  I, vi, IV. We’re in G Major and we know it. Repetitive “cou-cos’s” pepper the track like hanging fruit (let’s imagine from cherry trees). 

The song is a simple one, simple in its jealousy. Harry has let Subject go, and now Subject is at their best... and Harry hates it. He doesn't want his former pet term of endearment used on another, even though he has no claim on Subject’s actions anymore. Harry keeps finding bits of Subject in how he dresses. They’re not talking lately, and Harry perhaps is most upset that this separation isn’t going how he planned... Subject is at their best without him. 

The gallery line is inserted as a bridge, a unique line of music rather separate from the rest, an intentional narrative. But what’s most fascinating is the end of the song. The previous repetitive chord progression changes. Now we have 

GM - AM7 (an added C#) - Am7 (4/2 inversion) - GM

or I, II7, ii7, I

The “cou-cou” lands during the AM7 (the II7) and it lands EXACTLY on the note of B, extending the 7th chord to a ninth chord, before, on its second syllable, dropping to the A and holding there (a kind of suspension) while the chord progression resolves to the Am7 (ii7), making the A a chord tone. This is deliberate. Unless the whole piece was harmonically built around Camille’s random use of a B to A in a voicemail (also randomly in the perfect key for Harry’s voice) this was purposely recorded for aesthetic effect. I for one really love it, I could listen to breathy french girls mutter about beaches endlessly...

Falling: A straightforward progression. In the key of E Major,

 EM - C#m - BM - AM or I, vi, V, IV

With Falling, the only ballade on the album, we see Harry shift from jealousy to self destructive behavior. I don’t believe the ‘wandering hands’ line is about cheating (he and Subject were already apart) but rather, Harry seeking to wound Subject by turning to others. Communication is back open, because Subject says they care, they miss him too, but now Harry’s gone and fucked it all up. What have I become? What if Subject never needs me again? I can’t unpack the baggage they left. I just want Subject AROUND! Harry isn’t even begging for a romantic connection, he’s simply begging for Subject’s presence. He was so sure he could discover himself in LU, and now he keeps asking, what am I now? Who has he become on his own? He’s falling, and there’s no one to catch him. 

To Be So Lonely: This song waffles between two keys, just as Harry waffles between defending himself to Subject and finally, finally admitting (in just one small line) that he is, in fact, sorry. The song seems to start out in C Major, with CM and Am chords (I, iv) but then at the chorus the Am chord elides from a iv to a i, revealing the key is really A minor. The chorus goes on to be:

Am - GM - Em - FM 

or i, VII (lowered leading tone in minor), v (lowered leading tone in minor), VI

A fluttering mandolin mimics a fluttering heartbeat, and a folk music lilt gives the song a certain feel of heartbreak. 

Harry asks for Subject to not blame the drunk caller, likely himself. Harry was away. He missed Subject. He was just a little boy when he fell, and presumably Subject caught him that time. Subject is trying to be friends, they mean well, perhaps have taken pity on him, but Harry cannot stand to be called baby now, not when that name doesn’t mean what it used to, not when it’s a hollow word. Harry’s ‘home’ is suddenly a lonely place, but Subject has his reasons for how he’s acted, presumably good ones, and finally Harry gives his mea culpa, “this is it, so I’m sorry.” 

Interestingly, only after admitting that he’s made mistakes too, that he’s not perfect, that he shares the blame, does Harry confront and open himself to the realization contained in the next song, the heart of the album and the crux of what Harry’s been dancing around up until this point. 

She: In E minor, both verse and chorus use the same progression:

Em - DM - CM - Am - (Bm, a quick lead-in to) - Em 

 or i, II, VI, iv, v (no raised leading tone), i 

This Bowie-esc sounding song is the first to have characters. In addition to the Subject (perennially addressed as ‘You’) there is The Man and She. I would argue The Man and She are both Harry, a duality. The man drops his kids off at school, the man is thinking of You, like all of us do (everyone thinks of their SO perhaps). The Man goes through mundane daily tasks, but is he faking it? Does he really know what to do? He’s playing pretend, so pretend. 

Now Harry introduces She. (When speaking of She, Harry sings in a high falsetto.) She lives in daydreams, she is the first one he sees, and Harry doesn’t know who She is. A Woman just in his head, who sleeps in his (a jump up to the falsetto for just this one word in the verse) bed while he plays pretend. Much has been said about the gender/fluidity discovery in this song, and by better than me. It’s clear what Harry is saying, it’s clear what he’s going through and wrestling with. He’s thinking of Subject, but also haunted by She, in his head, in his mind’s eye, in his daydreams. She is a part of Harry, and Harry wants to know who She is. 

Side C

Uncomplicated tonics! All Major! A shift into happiness perhaps? 

Sunflower: F Major. BbM - FM - CM, or IV, I, V.  The bridge is fancy:

iii, IV, V, vi, I, V vi, V (vi?) V 

Some trippie hippie song from the 60s! Two lines of thought are apparent from the get go; Harry says he wants to get to know Subject, but then says “before I got to know you.” It’s as if this is a new beginning, like he and Subject are starting over. Much is made of the ‘seed’ thing, a metaphor for new life and rebirth, “plant new seeds in the melody.” Harry is trying hard not to talk to Subject, to not seem eager, not act a fool. He was just tongue tied, then he’s still tongue tied, implying he’s done this whole dance before. He implores Subject to hold their sweet memories: domestic times, kitchens, kids. In Golden, Subject was the sun. Now Subject is a sunflower, hung up high in the gallery, out of the shade, in the light a sunflower needs to thrive, into the light, step into the light. Little gasps from Harry interject throughout; is he surfacing from water (LU music video?), is he breathing between kisses, is he suddenly gifted new life like Gandalf atop Isengard? The end of the piece devolves into calls of unbridled, nonsensical joy, like birds song, like mating calls amongst brilliant plumage. 

Canyon Moon: D Major. DM - GM - AM - DM (I, IV, V, I)

 Bridge DM - (Em transit?) - AM - DM (I, (ii), V, I) 

Chorus DM - AM - DM - GM (I, V6, I6, IV) 

Perhaps the most straightforward tonic bound song of the album. Harry is missing Subject, but it’s a happy nostalgia now, a hopeful one, a “two weeks and I’ll be home.” Home is no longer a lonely place, like in TBSL. The world is happy waiting (there’s no rush? No need to have everything figured out?). “Doors yellow, broken, blue.” You can’t bribe the door on the way to the sky a sky where Harry’s Golden sun awaits him, and now the sky door is broken, busted through, that blue door to a blue sky that never looked so blue. 

We get another glimpse of She here; Subject remains You, Harry remains Harry, but there’s also a She who plays old hippies’ love songs and pretends to know the words; perhaps this is another Camille reference for narrative purposes, but I lean more towards this being another reference to She as Harry, exploring odd new music he’s never heard, trying not to be so pretentious about it but failing. (He’s such an Aquarius.) Most charmingly of all, the single whistler becomes two by the end of the song. 

Treat People With Kindness: F Major. This is the most interesting piece in terms of text painting. 

We start with CM6 - FM, then FM6/4 - BbM, then back to CM6 - FM, then we hold on the Am chord, and then repeat the whole thing. So analyzed in F Major this would be V6, I, I6/4, IV, V6, I, iii. 

But. By using the I6 to IV, Harry plays with the idea of a V of IV, where you take the IV chord of the key and pretend it has its own dominant (V) and use the V of IV not as the I chord normally is used, but as a Leading Tone chord to IV. 

ALL THAT TO SAY. He’s illustrating the lyrics. During “Maybe we can find a place” the chords are playing with dual resolutions. Where is the actual tonic? Is it F Major or B Flat Major? It’s ambiguous! We don’t know! We haven’t found our place yet! 

But then! The bridge. “And if we’re here long enough” and look where we land, on a CM chord, then BbM, then FM, a solid V, IV, I progression. And THEN (bless this boy) on the word belong we get the same A minor chord (the iii) but we get a 7th added to the chord, a G, and Harry holds this G in the melody (plant new seeds in the melody), a note that VERY MUCH DOES NOT BELONG because in no universe does a iii chord in Major have a 7th added! And Harry not only ADDS but draws attention to this note, this note that doesn’t belong!!! Then this iii7 chord resolves to C Major (V), making the G note a chord tone, making it BELONG, making it fit perfectly. 

GOD. Weep with me. 

This is Over the Rainbow. This is Hair, this is Age of Aquarius. Somewhere there’s a place we can belong and feel good and people will celebrate and rejoice in us, someday a new age will dawn. 

Harry is plunging into the deep end, dreaming, caught up in his good feelings and his euphoria in being “given second chances.” He’s tentative about admitting reckless hope to Subject; instead he says, “Maybe we can find a place to feel good?” Harry says he doesn’t need all the answers. He said in LU “do you know who you are” then in Falling “What am I now?” then in She “I don't know who she is” and now he’s at peace. He feels good in his skin, and he will keep on dancing. 

Most personally, I think the sudden somber turn of the line “If our friends all pass away” is in reference to grief. He’s speaking to Subject, but also to himself. It will be okay, okay, okay. Harry can’t control his life, he doesn’t have everything figured out, but he’s come to accept that. 

Side D

Fine Line: D Major. We come full circle, returning to the use of only three chords like at the start of the album. This time, though, Harry resolves to tonic in a repetitive pattern used for both the verses and chorus: 

Bm, GM7, DM6/4, or vi, IV7, I

FL is the summation of the album, the thesis statement, the conclusion of the journey. Harry has endured tests of patience, and accepted that there are things he’ll never know. He’s trying to shake off trepidation (of plunging in the deep end? Of hoping?). He says “My hand’s at risk, I fold.” The poker analogy is an interesting one; Subject (presumably) has gotten past Harry’s poker face, has sussed out his fronts and acts and strategies, and Harry is left bare and exposed, vulnerable before them. He’s been brought to this point, but willingly he folds. He laments that “spreading you open is the only way of knowing you.” We should open up before it’s all too much. Harry is done fighting. He’s also done sleeping in the dirt. For the first time he’s not sugar-coating his words, avoiding their problems via sex and pretense and flowery language. He’s matured enough to admit, “Man, I hate you sometimes.”

Again we have the reappearance of She. Harry says to Subject, “We’ll get the drinks in, so I’ll get to thinking of her.” This She is something between them, within them now, another facet of his and Subject’s relationship. Harry is going to spend time thinking of Her. She, I believe, is a part of him. 

A fine line is a balancing act, a tightrope, a suspension between extremes. But Harry calls out into the echo of the music, “We’ll be alright.” A declaration, a hope, a promise. Brass, strings, and a building crescendo, a cacophony of movie-credit-worthy emotion, sweeps us towards closure. Ethereal voices fade out, moving from dominant to tonic, but then a solitary piano plinks on a V chord, twice, hanging in the air, a question, an invitation, a hope. 

[appleciders]

personally, im also deep in the station 19 muck but like you i wish i wasn't. randomly watched it because pandemic and maya bishop is just so compelling, even with all the bad writing i still love her sm. is there anything you would want to see for season 4? your hair cut fic was so good and i cant stop thinking about how much better the season would have been had it ended like that instead.

first off, sorry to both of us for being here! but i guess let’s take escapism where can get it, hey. second, thank you so much for reading the fic!! i’m super honored you liked it <33

as for what i would want for s4...whew. a lot, lmao. i’ll put in under a cut to save my poor non-s19 followers.

mostly, i want them to please slow down the pacing. let story arcs breathe and build and develop. last season was so rushed—ryan’s death and rigo’s death and pruitt’s death all crammed in, andy and sullivan having a shotgun wedding out of nowhere, maya and carina fastforwarding to i love yous with only 30 second scenes and not a real date to be seen, vic hardly getting to process ripley—i could go on. it’s cheap and messy storytelling. cut it out. 

i also really want them to let relationships do the same. i want to see the friendships that were so strained last season to grow again. show me andy, maya, and vic being friends and supporting each other!! for the love of god!! (show me andy and maya being friends, period. for the whole season. the whole goddamn season. no drama between them, only supporting each other through outside drama. if i have to see another season where these ‘best friends’ are at each other’s throats half the time, i swear to god.) 

show me more team-as-family! a) i eat that shit up, and b) that’s supposed to be the underlying theme and premise of the show. show them laughing and goofing off together, show them holding each other up when things get tough, show them teasing each other to hell and back while they cook together in the beanery. invest in that again.

for the romances....develop that shit. honestly, i really hope andy and sullivan either break up or really do the fucking work to fix their relationship, because as-is, it’s a hot mess. and not a hot mess i particularly care to watch. i liked them fine in season 2, but the sullivan arc in s3 (which...not to out myself as having watched chicago fire, but which is a blatant rip-off of severide’s s1 arc in cf) puts him in a place where he’s not really ready for a relationship. and with the amount of shit they put andy through, she’s not, either. i know it’s impossible on a drama, but i would really like andy to be single this season? idk, i’m tired.

maya and carina better not be all sunshine and rainbows. they need to do the work! they need to show the work! after that rushed-ass ‘forgive me’ scene (where carina was...pressured into forgiving maya like the day after she cheated on her??? and that was framed as a good thing?? make it make sense), they deserve to show them actually navigating that broken trust and rebuilding something real. and as someone who doesn’t watch grey’s, i really don’t know carina very well? 90% of her scenes were her supporting maya through her ongoing breakdown (though a  totally understandable breakdown! not criticizing maya for having trauma), so i’d like to see more of a balance of support in the relationship and more development of her as an individual apart from maya. she’ll be sticking around, and that will be much more interesting if she bonds with other members of the team.

dean and vic...look, my hands-down #1 wish for season 4 is that they treat vic hughes well, with respect, with screentime, and with a good arc. she’s the absolute best. and as much as i love dean miller (hint: a lot), he needs to start guzzling his respecting vic juice if the writers are gonna try to set up anything. personally, i’d really like to see them move past it? awkward crushes between friends happen. putting myself in dean’s shoes, living with one of my best friends who i’m also secretly crushing on, watching her play with my baby...it’d be a lot too!! but that doesn’t excuse being a dick, so i’d really like to see them take some time apart, and then start their friendship back up on a foundation of honesty and communication. because they’re so good, guys.

individual character notes!!!

well. i want every person at this goddamn station to go to therapy. they won’t, but i want them to.

andy needs to go to serious grief counseling after season 3. compounded by what’s bound to be a shitstorm from the discovery that her mother is alive? please. in regards to the whole mother arc, i really don’t want it her disappearance to have been like...gang-related. i’ve seen that posited as a theory, and that’s just a whole bundle of stereotypes we don’t need to get into. i also want the mom reveal to be the main revelation that takes up the majority of her arc the first half of the season, just to have time to process it. the captain’s race took up all of season 1—you can give this twist time to marinate properly.  

vic hughes, my moon, my stars! i really loved the snippets of vic’s backstory that they gave us in s3. as someone who lost a family member to early-onset alzheimer’s in november, 3x09 was...oof. a lot. i love how they committed to fleshing out her past and her backstory more and i love the emotional depth barrett doss always brings to the screen. for season 4, i’d love to see vic get to process ripley and jackson properly. (and here i repeat my forever adage for female characters lol: let them be single for a hot sec.) i want her to move in with maya, because i think that dynamic is so fun and ripe for exploration, and then i’d love to see her digging in to her issues and getting help—going back to the firefighter group, actually talking, spending time with her found family. (sidenote: would love to see her help out with some like youth community theatre classes on her days off? developing connections with kids who have gone through losses, supporting them and in turn realizing the support she needs herself...tell me vic singing with kids wouldn’t be the cutest shit). anyway, i just rly want her to get a good storyline. but i’m not a screenwriter so like...hope they come up with one!

i’ve already written much more than i’m sure you wanted, so i’m going to condense the boys into one paragraph lol. i want jack gibson to heal himself and stop sleeping with taken women! his new found family is super sweet, so i really hope he gets to keep it throughout s4. i want travis montgomery to get only good and happy things, and the same goes for warren. actually, i’d love to see warren step into his new role as team Older Person a bit more? i think that would be a really fun and heartwarming dynamic to play with all the other characters. dean i think i already touched on, but i’d love him to take a breath, apologize to vic and explain, and lean on the rest of his found family. he’s gonna be such a good dad and i’m excited to see more of that.

finally: maya. oh, maya. she needs therapy. you can’t have a character say she’s been dealing with suicidal ideation and anxiety for nearly 20 years and just...magically make it all better. she deserves to get to unpack all the shit with her dad, and all the ways that’s impacted her. on some level, i kinda wish she’d not stayed as captain—i love her scenes so much when she’s allowed to be just chilling on the same level as her team. since that’s not the case, finding a right balance of her as captain and her as friend is gonna be super important. i want her to open up to her friends and lean on them. i’d love for mason to come back, too? i think her trying to heal herself, establish herself as a team member and leader, and rebuild her relationships with her brother as well as her found family and girlfriend would be more than enough material for an arc. it won’t always go great! this stuff isn’t an easy fix! but that’s why it’d be worth writing. plus, so many members of the team have shitty relationships with their parents that even though they won’t understand what maya went through, there’s some really fertile ground for compassion and cathartic ‘fuck our dads’ ball-busting i’d love to see seeded. bonus father’s day episode where literally none of them are happy and they decide to like...go play laser tag or something.

anyway, i’m sure that’s more than you wanted!! but thank you for the q lmao apparently i had a lot to say

[ccatskies]

rariflash | the perfect gift

for beth (@milkymanoban ) and rasa (@smallcrystals ). have this, munchkins! 💜

★━━━━━━━━

"Ooh, ooh! What do you think of this, darling?" The young woman beamed, slightly jumping up in delight, with her petite body resisting the urge to dance on her tip toes as she held up the figurine of two attached bunnies - one coloured pale yellow and the other as warm as caramel.

The two figures were glued together, as if they shared an exceptional bond, their feelings intertwined with the warmth of love. Their heads were coated with pretty divine dandelion flowers - the very first thing the fashionista caught the sight of. The figurine warmed her heart, as if it was one of the most heart warming things she could ever look at.

And, it was definitely better than all the other gifts her and her buddy had to skim through today.

She frowned slightly as the boy ignores her call, puffing her cheeks in exasperation as she puts down the adorable statuette. Without further hesitation, she carefully walked up to his back, without a single sound resonating from her heels. Hiding a small mischievous smile, the British sweetheart smacked her palms down on the taller boy's shoulder, earning a flinch and a cute gah! from him.

"Hey!" He whined as he whipped his head around, clutching onto another item that the girl didn't notice at first glance.

He only pouted, narrowing his eyes adorably as if he were mad but that didn't do the trick, "Raaares, that scared me."

"Of course, it did, love," she giggled, ruffling the front line of his soft blue hair. She gave a small pat on his cheek, as an indication of asking for forgiveness from the younger boy, prior to caressing his shoulder in an attempt to ease the pain the abrupt smack might've inflicted.

"I was calling for you, Flashie - for the fifteenth time since we arrived in this shop and you barely heard me," Rarity apprised, a lighthearted laugh escaping her system and flowing into his ears like a soothing melody.

"Oh, heh. . ." he trailed, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, "sorry."

But then, realization hit him, immediately having him scrunch up his nose and cross his arms over his chest, "wait, don't call me that. It's a reserved nickname."

"Oh, right." Rarity laughed again. It was always fun, having this kid around her. Not a single day passed without her deliberately wanting to keep him in her pocket, away from all the harm the treacherous world could offer. She felt like such a mother around him, that it was quite uncanny.

"I just found out the perfect gift for Discord!" She grinned, tugging onto the sleeve of his jacket and pointing to the figurine she discovered from the depths of the stock.

Flash's cornflower eyes widened like a lit bulb, as he burst into a hearty laugh, eyes folding into a tight eye smile, "Discord and bunnies? Interesting."

"Hey, he'd love it!" She retaliated, activating a playful punch on his shoulder. "Look at the colours. What do you see?"

"What do I see?" He repeated, putting a hand on his chin, and resting one elbow on the back of his spare hand, "I see two cute animals stuck together. What else?"

"Uh-hm!" She shook her head, and nudged his shoulder, "not just that! See something else?"

"Uh. . . that they're dusty?"

"Noooo! May I add that I might consider disowning you if you take this long, you little baby." Rarity asserted, as she added in a sing-song voice, "the colours, Flash! The colours!"

"I swear to God, woman, you're worse than Math," he tittered with a new-found anxiety, prior to giving it another try, "It's umm, yellow and brownish? - caramel, yeah, that. And?"

The teenager eyed him incredulously, crossing her hand over her chest and tilting her head to the side, "whose favourite colours are they?"

"Fluttershy likes yellow and Discord likes red but also brown as well - oh." He face palmed, "so, this is why you were saying he'd love it."

A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips, as he delved his hands into his pockets, "because it's literally the bunny version of himself next to his potential crush. Smart, Noona."

She laughed at the sudden use of honorific; he only did it when he wanted to emphasize things around. She, technically, didn't know much Korean as Flash did. Yes, she understood normal stuff but when random words were thrown here and there out of context, she'd black out. It was even more ironic that Flash had to sit around, lecturing her on grammatical errors and how she accidentally mispronounced a word once that. . . ahem. . . distorted the entire meaning. She was older than him, but somehow he tended to act like more of the older sibling, which was quite amusing.

"Though it's really. . . ironic how we're buying him two baby bunny figurines when the guy dreams about chaos, has a black room with skulls imprinted on the walls, has a door mat with the picture of a cat that says go home and snaps it's middle finger andddd has huge grandpa energy, despite being a guy who randomly cracks puns about destruction - have you heard him talk?"

Rarity chuckled, taking the volume of her entire lower lip under her teeth, as she interpolated, "when it comes to his potential crush, darling, he would definitely let it slide."

"Rightttt," Flash added, "who doesn't love Fluttershy?"

"I designed her a shirt once, with the words MUST PROTECT in caps," Rarity laughed at the memory, "she found it odd, but the others did anything but disagree."

"By the way, you must be so tired, right? We've been looking for the utopian birthday gift for a while now," Rarity turned to face him entirely, observing the fatigue and weariness evident on his visage, and the way he simply pulled off a smiley face despite being harrowed by her shopping trips.

"C'mon, I'm fine!" He grinned, busting out his pearly whites, followed by a reassuring wink.

Rarity frowned, rolling her eyes playfully, "I'm not going to lie that we've been raiding these shops for a while now. We bought a few handy things, but it took time."

"Phew, thought you wouldn't admit it," he disclosed with a thick grin, prior to shutting his mouth back as he earned the look, "sorry."

"Though, we did buy a lot of gifts for one birthday - two shirts, a freaking BodyFriend, a whole ass Monsta X album - this figurine is next," he eyed the figurine followed by the mountain of bags, neatly placed at one corner of the shop, "besides that, you bought a lot of decoration items for the surprise birthday party as well. Grandpa's turning twenty, we need to do something, I guess."

"That exactly justifies why you're so tired, kiddo," her hand again reached out to the top of his head to ruffle his hair, "you basically ran around with me, and I didn't even have to tell you to handle the bags, and help me with making last minute decisions."

"Although you're sometimes a real brat, I'm grateful you know when to be one," she brought her fist close to her lips to fake a cough, "Rainbow, on the other hand, is an affirmative pain in the arse. That girl keeps getting lost like Pinkie, starts complaining mid-way, somehow manages to lose one bag or more around somewhere in the big stalls or acts like a baby. Bringing Dash with me to shopping is like asking for death."

"I swear if I took a shot each time I lost Dash around in these big markets and had to make announcements like when mothers do when they lose their toddlers, I'd be diagnosed with Alcohol Poisoning," Rarity sighed out loud, reminiscing all those times she had to babysit Dash and Pinkie, but mostly Rainbow because bringing Pinkie with her for shopping was eminently equivalent to begging for a Tsunami.

Everyone admits it, whereas you'd find the Argentine girl confused as fuck.

"Really?" Flash laughed, leaning back on the shelf behind him as he proceeded, "how do you do the announcements?"

"How do you think I do it?" Rarity tilted her head, cocking an eye brow at the younger boy.

He only shrugged, pouting his lips adorably in the process, "I don't know, you tell me."

Rarity cleared her throat, prior to flipping the curls on her neck behind her nape, tilting her head to her right, as she brought her fists up to her glossy lips, pretending to be holding a mic that connected to the central sound system, "ahem, Rainbow Dash? Yeah you fucking disappointment? Get your stinking ass right here - "

"WHOA," Flash burst out in a fit of laughter, pulling down Rare Bear's hand as he struggled to breathe properly, "you swear during announcements?"

"Can't help it sometimes," Rarity joined in on the laughter, "usually, I go for short details and just ask them to report her to the central office - or better, the police."

"I must be the angelic favorite child then," Flash winked at her, a bright smile followed with that gesture, to only earn an eye roll from the latter. He partly wanted to take that back, giving it second thoughts that it just might be Fluttershy instead, but boy, did he love to tease her.

"Oh, you wish," Rarity turned around to get the bunny figurine to the Cash Section as she snorted - a thing she didn't do quite often unless around her friends.

Flash caught up to the clicking of her heels on the marble floor, wrapping his big arm around her shoulder as he pulled her small frame into a warm side hug, "you know you love me - it's okay, everyone does."

"Do you hear yourself?" She laughed out, rolling her eyes once again, prior to muttering, "rascal."

He pouted once again, faking an offended look as he whined, "Noonaaaa, I heard that!" Someone just has to tell Flash Sentry that talking in a pout doesn't identify as a character trait, yet whenever he did that, no one seemed to complain.

"No, you didn't, you baby wastrel -"

"Okay, this is abuse." He complained, pining for a hug from the his best friend, as he stood in front of her, bending down a little to have her look into his eyes - the puppy dog eyes, "tell me, I'm a good kid."

She could only giggle at his adorable behavior, sticking her finger out to squish his fluffy cheeks, "fine, you're a good kid. Now, let me get this to the cashier - oh wait."

"Hmm?"

"What were you looking at when I was calling you earlier?"

"Oh, uh, it's nothing."

"Oh please, Flash, spare me the lie," she huffed, "what were you seeing?"

She despised it wherever anyone tried to fabricate a lie, especially around her. It's not like she couldn't give them what they desired. Rarity was always generous just like that.

Flash sighed, prior to shyly gesturing towards a key-chain. It was shaped as an axe, with leaf designs sticking out from the sides of the beautifully handcrafted item. Rarity didn't hesitate to pick it up and observe the intricate details that were imprinted on it.

"You wanted this, darling?"

"Haha. . . I kinda forgot to bring my wallet today," Flash mumbled, his cheeks growing red as he sheepishly rubbed his nape, "this is embarrassing."

"I'll buy it for you."

His eyes widened, as he put down the chain in protest, "what? No. Rares, it's okay."

"No, I'd love to buy this for you, dear," she objected, picking it up. Her lips curved into a pretty smile, which was nothing but genuine. She let her blue eyes run back up at her brotherly figure, booping his nose adorably, as she cleared her throat, "I know Timber would love it, Flashie. You can pay me back later."

That caught him off guard. If one thing was fascinating, it was Rare Bear's tingling sense that helped her identify what her friends wanted - they just couldn't keep secrets from her. And, of course, she had a special eye out for unraveling a very amusing topic.

Crushes.

His cheeks grew the shade of a wild crimson, as he struggled to put cohesive words past his lips. The only thing Rarity noticed was the twitching of his lips and how he instantly got shy, staring down at the ground, rubbing circles on the floor with the tip of his toe.

What a cutie.

"Hey, this is not what it looks like - "

"Definitely."

"We're good friends - "

"Of course."

"NOONA!"

"Hush, child. We can deal with this back at home," Rarity planted a finger on his lips, interrupting the chain of profanities that her friend might've thrown. She only smirked at the boy mischievously, as she handed the items to the cashier. The soft red blush hovering over his cheeks didn't help, especially not the wandering eyes.

"Tell me if he loves it," she leaned closer to his ear and whispered, "and how your first kiss went - "

"He's not gonna kiss me for a key-chain that looks like an axe," he rolled his eyes, nudging her slightly to put an end to the topic, with sweat trickling down the side of his forehead.

"You never know, munchkin."

"I hate you."

"Love you too, darling." She grinned, bringing his head down to her level as she hugged him from the side, messing up his already disheveled hair for the umpteenth time. He could only laugh at the action, and resist the urge to blush at her words from earlier. Simultaneously, the cashier also sneaked a glance at the pair, whilst hiding a small smile to herself.

Honestly, she was THE best Noona he's ever had.

━━━━━━━━━★

[calif0rnia-lovers]

request: things that make Frank Castle fall in love with you

a/n: I have not watched season 2 of The Punisher yet. I’m currently rewatching Daredevil. In all honesty, I don’t know what this update is but I hope you all like it. Haven’t posted Frank in a while

1. Your smile. Shit, Frank knows that's such a cliche response when asked, "what's your favorite thing about her?" but it's the first thing that comes to his mind. Every time. It was the first thing he'd seen that night your paths had crossed. His exhaustion had lowered his alertness. Pair that to your focus on your phone and rambling roommate. It is no surprise the two of you accidentally bump into each other while passing on the tiny sidewalk. You'd smiled at him despite the late hour of the evening, and the hesitant tug against your arm by your roommate who didn't think it was the smartest thing to smile at a man randomly walking the streets of Hell's Kitchen in the middle of the night. It was the first thing he saw each morning when you were able to convince him to stay the night. It was the smile that made his heart skip a beat the first moment he met you, and each moment he saw it from then on.

2. The fact that you're not afraid to tell him what's on your mind. Not many people have the guts to tell Frank Castle off. The sheer size, look, and reputation of the man is enough to make even the strongest men hold their tongue. The first night you were forced to stitch him up was the first time he'd got sight of that side of you, and he's loved and respected it ever since. "Who the hell do you think you are, Frank?" You'd asked, as you concentrated on stitching his wound. "The Punisher? Keep believing that crap if you want. Just know I'll kick your ass worse than The Punisher can if you show up like this again. Do you know how much blood you’ve lost in my kitchen? How are you freaking human?"

3. Your fingers in Frank's hair lips warm and soft against his shoulder as his body trembles against yours. The sweet words you whisper against his skin as he tries to convince himself the images he'd just witnessed in his dreams are just that. Dreams. The soft and calm nature of your heart seems to work magic. It'll knock him out, somehow overpowering the urgency to stay awake. Because without your body to keep him grounded, Frank will stay up all night trying to beat and correct the moments that he'd been helpless to fix in his nightmares. It'll lull him back to a dreamless sleep allowing him to catch up on the much-needed sleep.

4. The way you kiss him. The kisses that press against his imperfections when you're reunited, and you're both finally able to breathe normally. How they can mask any pain, he feels as they brush against his healing wounds. The way they can resonate deeper than the surface of his skin. Seeping into his bloodstream, coursing through the valves of his heart until his entire body and mind are free of everything but thoughts of you how they can make him feel, if only for a few moments, that he's got a second chance at living a normal a life. A life where your kisses aren't meant to ease his pain or come as attempts to make him stay, but are enough to convince him that he'll never lose you entirely.

5. The night you showed up at his house, a bag of groceries in one hand a blue staffy in the other. Before you started dating, getting groceries for Frank was a habit. He swore he didn't need your help, and you swore his diet was complete shit. "You can't live off coffee and diner food, Frank." He quickly learned it was best to accept the groceries and the meals you cooked for him. So the night you were on your way to drop off the groceries, you found you weren't alone. Halfway to his house, you realized you were being followed. By the time you'd reached Frank's apartment, you'd already renamed the stray dog. "I can't have dog's at my building." You'd explained as Frank accepted the bag of groceries. "So...I was thinking...he could stay here with you? I'll come by every day, obviously...If not, please just keep him for the night? I’ll take him to the vet tomorrow to get his shots."

6. Mornings when you're both in the kitchen. Frank's chest pressed against your back, his face buried against the warmth of your neck when he makes it nearly impossible for you to function. His weight is shuffling behind yours in almost perfect unison as you attempt to cook breakfast and finish your cup of coffee all the while trying to scold Frank from wrinkling your clothes.

7. That night you'd finally seen him after nearly a week of silence. Things had gotten bad, memories of his past and his path crossing with Billy's sent him down a spiral you thought allowed The Punisher to take what remained of Frank. You were working late when you'd gotten the call from Claire. He was knocked out from the drugs pumping in his system and exhaustion. She'd given Frank enough to tranquilize a horse, but she'd cuffed his hand to the bed for good measure. When he'd awaken, Frank found you asleep and curled against him. Despite Claire's good intentions, Frank knew he had no trouble getting out of the cuff. He could be out of the hospital in a few minutes once he let his body become used to the grogginess of the drugs. However, he didn't get up when he heard the "please stay" you'd whispered unconsciously when you felt your body stir against his.

8. How you never can agree on your first date. Granted, Frank never officially called it a date when he asked you out that night. The time of the hour might have always had something to do with you not making the connection. He'd showed up at your apartment, the phone call that had ended thirty minutes before letting him know you were having trouble sleeping. You'd huddled against him in the booth at the back of the 24 hour Waffle House. The building was surprisingly packed, an array of customers making it so that you had to sit close to hear him speak. The two of you lost track of time as you talked over endless rounds of coffee and food. The closeness of your body and the lightness of your laughter leaves Frank uncharacteristically flustered. When you doze off against his shoulder in the back of the cab on the ride home, he realizes he finds himself paying for the taxi to take two more trips past your apartment.

9. Watching you work. There are moments when Frank found himself forgetting what normal looked like for most people. He sits in silence watching your brow furrow as you concentrate on your computer screen. How your teeth tug at your bottom when you find yourself doubting the words you've put together. He finds the way your mind works to be fascinating. He always jokes that you’re the brains and he’s the brawn. 

10. How the sound of your voice awakens his apartment. When it's breathless, struggling to recover from the hunger of his body that always seems insatiable when tangled with yours. When it's breathless in a different light. This time it's a light breathless giggle that he's still surprised he's able to pull from you with his jokes. When it's loud and slightly off-key as you sing in the shower, keeping the latest top 40 stuck in his head once you're gone. When it's quiet barely audible when the two of you stay up talking to late hours in the morning.

11. That time you convinced Frank to accompany you, Matt and Foggy to a Met's game. Foggy had scored tickets in the nosebleeds. Frank was anxious about the crowd, refusing to let you go to the bathroom alone. He thought it was ridiculous to pay $8 for a hotdog. He also didn't wear the jersey, or the giant orange foam finger, Foggy got him but Frank did wear the hat you shoved on his head upon the arrival to the field. He'd slipped a bracelet onto your wrist during the ninth inning in an attempt to cheer you up from the terrible score. It was a rainbow of clashing colors. The tiny flower and heart beads were strung together on a piece of elastic string, the prize from the box of Cracker Jacks Foggy had tossed to Frank from his third run to the concessions. He'd expected you to throw the bracelet away after returning home. However, he saw you a few days later, and you still had it around your wrist.

12. Thunder. It's the first thing Frank remembers when he thinks of your first kiss. You both were caught in the rain. Frank, being the gentleman he is, offering to walk you home once catching a cab proved to be impossible. It seems everyone clearing out of Josie's had the same idea. You knew there was no point in running or attempting to use your jacket as a shield. Your hair was ruined, your dress soaked through in a matter of seconds. This didn't, however, seem to occur to Frank. He takes off his jacket, lifting it over your head to keep you protected from the rain. You don't have the heart to tell him that the thoughtful gesture is useless. Instead, you stay close to him, allowing him to accompany you home. Frank will keep you close, double checking before you cross each street. “People seem to turn into idiots when driving in the rain,” he’d mumbled once he masterfully saved you from being splashed by a car speeding past. It's when you're patiently waiting for a light to change that you surprise Frank by closing the distance between the two of you. With both of his hands occupied with holding up the makeshift umbrella, he's not sure what to initially do. The kiss only lasts a few seconds. Long enough for the light to turn from yellow to red, but it is enough to set his heart racing. He remembers how warm your fingertips felt against his chilled skin, a wave of heat following their path as they brushed against his neck when you pulled him closer. How he could feel a smile form against your lips as he lets his lips return the kiss.

13. The way you shift forward, weight moving to your toes, to kiss him for a second time when you're not ready for him to leave.

14. How you make him feel like he's capable of love again.

[prism-rush]

Road to SSS Event #2: Good Afternoon! Steamy Onsen Tag Battle! A Summary

Okay, sorry guys like I explained before I don’t know how much more of this event I’m going to directly translate because I am having a really, really hard time with the Tumblr App lately. 

But this event (like all the SSS ones) is pretty important and I really want to talk about it so here we go. (Or at least, here goes as much as I know about it because I didn’t go all out on the gatcha this time.)

It all more or less begins when Leo happens to notice Taiga acting a bit strange. He’s sneaking around and leaving the dorm early in the morning carrying some luggage. Convinced that Taiga must be running away, Leo decides to follow him (and brings the rest of Edel Rose as well). They all somehow manage not only to ride the same bus as Taiga, but to sneak on after him without him noticing them at all. (Taiga has his anti-social shield up to max, says Kakeru.)

I’d like to take a second to point out that during these scenes, everyone is  legitimately worried about Taiga running away except for Kakeru, who spends the time cracking jokes and tagging along for the fun of it. (Because he knows Taiga wouldn’t do that. Heart.)

So of course Kakeru was right. Taiga was just trying to sneak away to the Rainbow Hot Springs to do some training (the same hot springs also featured in Rainbow Live episode 39) and he was just embarrassed about only going there just because Kazuki did or something like that. 

So, being that they are all out here anyway, they decide to make the most of it and head to the hot springs together. And of course, Over the Rainbow is there too. 

Now. Here’s where the event suddenly takes a sharp turn. 

After the bath, the boys turn on the TV to see Tanaka-san making an important announcement. 

There will be a Street-style Duo tournament! 

(It seems like this will be... kind of a big deal? I mean there is suddenly also a real world event themed to street style?! Not sure how far it’s going to go....)

So, for the rest of the event the boys silently begin to think about if they will enter the tournament and who they would want to enter with. 

Taiga asks Kazuki right away who he wants to enter with and Kazuki gives a vague answer which suggests he does have someone in mind, but it’s not Taiga. 

If I read it right, I think there were a couple of hints thrown in that Kazuki wants to pair with Hiro....?

But in the scenes that follow seem to foreshadow Hiro and Yu becoming a pair instead. 

After their rainbow meal, Hiro, Kouji, Kazuki, Yu, Leo, and Taiga go to play table tennis only to discover there is only one table. So they decide to form 2 x 2 teams with Kouji and Kazuki sitting out as cheering/referee. The teams, chosen randomly, are: Hiro and Yu vs. Leo and Taiga

Yu of course sulks a bit when he realizes he’s with Hiro since the whole reason he agreed to play table tennis in the first place was to beat Hiro. But as the game starts Yu soon realizes he actually has a pretty good connection with Hiro. The two are able to anticipate each others moves and beat Leo and Taiga easily. Yu thinks to himself that being with Hiro in the Duo Tournament wouldn’t be so bad after all. 

Meanwhile Kakeru, Yukinojo, Shin, and Minato decide to dust off an old karaoke machine. (Kakeru comments that the songs labeled “new” are from around when they were all in elementary school.) So they have no choice but to sing some oldies, and Kakeru invites Yukinojo to an enka duet. (Look that up and imagine Kakeru and Yukinojo singing in that style. Then be impressed that it actually would kinda work.) They sing together so much that Minato falls asleep, and Shin slips out unnoticed to use the bathroom and then take a walk because it’s a nice night. 

Shin stumbles upon a shooting range which seems like it might actually be a legit reference to this story. Especially because just when Shin begins to idly think about the last time he did shooting, Louis appears. 

Louis explains that he’s doing a nearby job with Alexander, and the two compliment each other on their yukatas and decide to try some shooting together. How it ends up after this, I think you need to scout Louis’ card to find out. But before this scene ends in the main story Shin thinks to himself about how even though Louis is from Schwartz Rose, it would be great if they could be a Duo.... 

After losing the table tennis match, Leo wanders off feeling sorry for himself about not being manly and holding Taiga back and all that. He happens to find himself at the waterfall where Kazuki trained during Pride the Hero, where Alexander is now training. He also just happens to find himself there at the exact moment when Alexander falls into the bottom of the pool and he’s not coming up. 

Quickly Leo runs down, jumps in, and manages to pull Alexander out to safety all on his own. (Once again Leo truly is the manliest of them all.) 

Just as Alexander is waking up the all the others come to find them too, as they noticed Leo was missing and Taiga became worried since he saw how Leo was feeling down after the table tennis match. 

They hear the situation, Alexander asks them what they are laughing at, and that’s basically the end. 

So it seems the whole street-style Duo Tournament will continue in the next event or over a few events. (Or it might even be a plot point in the actual SSS anime?) 

If I read things correctly, it seemed like the pairs they were hinting at were....

Hiro/Yu

Yukinojo/Kakeru

Shin/Louis

L... Leo/Alexander.....? (N... No... or maybe....) 

If any of the others were paired off I missed it due to not having read all the card stories. If you know something I don’t, let me know. 

[nbhd-daily]

Jesse Rutherford’s Blonde Ambition

After seeing success as the lead singer of standout band The Neighbourhood, the 26-year-old So-Cal native decided it was time to try things on his own. &, Rutherford's first solo album, perfectly embodies the personality of the man who was born to be blonde. It's funny, poppy, loose yet precise, and more than anything, honest.

office met with Rutherford at his hotel in New York City a day before his flight back to California to perform in front of a sold out crowd alongside the band that helped him find his voice. Rutherford was open and reflective. He's as transparent as you'd hope any musician would be. He knows the key to success as a musician is being your best and most honest self at all times, all while making great music.

Interview by Khufu Najee

Photos by Mitchell Connell

I want to start off by saying I love the album.

Thank you.

I was in LA with my girlfriend when I first heard it and on that same morning, I actually dyed my hair blonde.

Yo (laughs). That’s sick.

True story.

So cool. It looks great, by the way.

Thank you, man. But that leads me to my first question. "Born To Be Blonde." What was the inspiration for that song? I know you were very specific about starting the album with that song. What went into that thought process?

The general statement just kinda means be whoever you wanna be. It’s just kind of a twist on how to say that or my particular way of saying it. I felt like it was a chance for me to be as stupid and as smart as I am — or as I think I might be — all in one go. I don’t know. It just kind of happened. It was a poem. It was a poem that I wrote while The Neighbourhood was recording our Wiped Out album. It was just a poem. I wrote it one day and or one night. I don’t even remember. I just know it was during that process cause I was blonde at that point and I was really psyched about it. It was just the way it made me feel I guess. Wrote it down. Maybe 75% of it came from that initial poem. The last 25% — the bridge and shit — was written in the studio as I was recording it. But I tried doing it a couple times. It was going to be a Neighbourhood song a long time ago. Nothing ever happened to it.

It’s very interesting how often I hear a good portion of songs that we hear on someone’s new album are actually old.

Yep. And that comes with age and with time. It’s crazy you say that cause I’ve thought about that a lot recently too and it’s given me a new hope with writing music because I probably have hundreds of songs that are not released and now I know sometimes I can go back in the fucking Rolodex. Oh okay. Wrote it in 2013. It’s 2018. Now they're ready for it. That’s how it goes sometimes.

You have to be ready to let it go.

You have to be on time. You can’t be early in this game. That doesn’t get you anywhere. At least from my experience. I feel like there have been moments where I’ve been like well I did that first and then something else happens and someone else does it. And maybe they did it at a better time. Maybe they had it more refined. Maybe it was better than the version I had. Or the type of song. Or the type of sound. Sometimes you gotta wait for the right time.

The 2014 mixtape with the band. Two features I want to ask about. You had Gerald and Kossisko. Two really good friends of mine.

Oh, you grew up in the bay?

Yeah, man.

Dope.

So, I’m curious. How did the Bay Area connection come about?

(Laughs).

It's always a good answer when they laugh before answering.

Well, Kossisko, 100s at the time, that was through our friend Matthew. Kirk, who has a label now, runs it with Matthew’s partner label.

What’s the label?

Bad Habits.

Okay.

And Matthew, he’s like my LA homie. He’s like my first LA friend. When I was like 19 trying to rap and putting my shit on the internet, he was the first dude from the city — cause I’m from the suburbs outside the city — he was like the first dude from the city to be like, yo, you’re tight, come hang out with me and my friends. And those friends ended up being 4e, who helped me produce the mixtape and then helping The Neighbourhood do our Wiped Out album. It was a long process. That was, you know, six or seven years ago. It was a while ago. I met Kossisko through him.

He’s a good dude, man.

Yeah, dude. He’s smooth too.

Staying on collaborations, on that same mixtape, you had Danny Seth. And I noticed on this new album, you had MD$, both of whom are big on the music scene in London. How did that connection come about?

Danny was also through Matthew.

Of course he was. Danny lived in LA for a bit, yeah?

Yeah, and Matthew was fucking with him for a minute. I could give you Matthew's number if you want (laughs). He’s in with everyone.

Collabs are important. How did you go about choosing who to work with on this album?

Well, I met Dylan Brady, who produced the majority of the project. I think I was playing a show and Kirk came out. Kirk met with Dylan. I think we were in St. Louis, where Dylan is from and he just walked in and I saw him. I know this may sound very surface but I basically just judged a book by the cover. Like, clothing and how you present yourself, matters. Dylan walked in and he just had this steez that I’d never seen before and I was like there’s something about this guy. Then I ended up hearing his music and it was so ambitious and unique and at the time I was trying to figure out how to find my own lane and find my own sound and do my solo thing. So we got in the studio together, we had a week in Paramount in LA, five days, and we ended up doing seven songs, and about four or five ended up on the record. It was a solid week for sure. He’s a great producer. He can really do anything. He’s unlike anyone I’ve ever seen before. He’s a fucking machine, dude. He’s nonstop. Dylan kinda kicked it off. We started with this sound. I worked with Daytrip a couple times before when they were back in LA and we did a couple records but nothing that was my favorite. They were amazing doing what they do but I wasn’t pleased with what I was doing on the songs.

The mind of a perfectionist, man.

Right? But then they randomly sent me a 30-pack and I was like this is fun. So I went through them, picked ten that I liked, recorded on about four or five really quickly and two of them ended up being on the album. MD$, that was just another random session when they were in LA.

MD$ is fire, dude. That’s good music.

They make really good music.

London, for the most part, is known for Grime Rap. When you think rap in London, you think grime. But what they do isn’t grime. It’s so dope and so different.

Very musical.

Very musical. Absolutely. I really want to meet the dude.

He’s a mystery. You never saw him?

No.

He’s cool. He has a swag to him for sure.

How old were you when you decided on music?

I started playing drums when I was in the eighth grade. High school came around and I met this guy who became my buddy. I grew up in a suburb where it’s like hard core punk kinda shit and I just wanted to be a part of that. But my balls took forever to drop and finally when they did I started singing. Voice is still pretty high so they only dropped so far (laughs). But I would say around 17 is when I took it seriously.

And around that age is when you knew this was what you were going to do with your life?

Yeah. Especially once I stopped doing hard core and started making really bad pop rap. I had to start somewhere though (laughs). I’ve never really thought twice about thinking twice. This is all I’ve ever done. And luckily it’s worked. It’s always felt so good. It’s the only thing I’ve ever felt natural at. I’m not that great at video games. I’m not that great at fucking school, all the cliche shit that everybody says.

Knowing what you know now, what would you tell that younger self?

Don’t get those tattoos on your right arm (laughs). Save that real estate because you’re going to want some other shit some day. Maybe don’t get any of the tattoos so early. But 17 year old me, looking at 26 year old me, with like neck tattoos and shit, would be like "yo this guy is so sick what the fuck.” I know that really surface level but I think the boxes you in. If I’m in the whitely tatted lane, then okay. I did it to myself. Other than that, just keep doing what you’re doing. It’s working.

Are you familiar with the word synesthesia?

No.

It’s basically a condition, although I don’t know why they call it that cause it almost gives it a bad connotation. But, Lorde has it, Frank Ocean, few other artists. Basically, you can taste, smell, see colors, in ways other people can’t. It’s amazing.

Me and my team talk about that all time time. We try to relate things to colors when it comes to Neighbourhood music and my own music. We try and connect songs to seasons. Some songs always seem to fit with certain seasons. Day or night. That’s a big one.

Very true. I have music I only listen to at night time. Or when the sun isn’t shining.

That’s the struggle of being asked to play a festival, when you make night music, but they give you the noon slot. How do you like the sun, yo? Yeah, this dark ass song is going to sound great while this bright ass sun is turning my pasty skin bright red.

What color would you say your music is?

I feel like I have to just say rainbow because it has to be the opposite of rainbow because The Neighbourhood has always done the black and white thing. But I don’t know. I really do like yellow. I think yellow is a really cool color. And it doesn’t even have to be bright yellow. Just a nice warm yellow that kinda has some warmth to it.

I’m not going to ask you who your musical inspirations are cause I think that shit is corny as fuck but I am curious where do you draw inspiration from? Are you the kind of dude who has a movie playing on silent in the studio at all times?

No. I’m terrible at watching movies. I need to start watching more. I just started on Apocalypse Now.

Started. Didn’t finish?

Not yet. I’m about half-way through. It's a slow process for me. But inspiration… It’s funny cause I do like Spongebob (laughs) but I feel like a sponge. I just absorb a lot of shit around me. Sometimes I can’t even pinpoint it. It’s just like shit that’s coming at me. Between the different styles and sounds of music that I like and what’s fucking constantly stewing in my head. I just feel like I can do all these different types of music, so I need to do it. And sometimes I fail. And sometimes I think, from what I’ve seen from the internet and from what fans tell me, I think I nail it sometimes. With this project especially, the title alone, just using &. Calling it that left it open to anything. Cause you can’t just have that and nothing else. There has to be something before and something after and you know that. So that alone it’s just like, I’m a sucker for that kind of shit. I just love hooks. I want everything to be a hook. A photo, to a fucking pair of shoes, the title of something, hooks only. I did a book two years ago I called that. It’s a collection of photos I took with my friend, ended up turning it into a book. I’ve always called that book the Bible of Jesse. In that book, there’s no words. All pictures. Just me wearing a whole bunch of shit. It’s all over the place. But that’s how I felt. That’s who I am. I think a lot of people are like that. Especially young people. With the internet how are you just gonna be one thing in this shit?

You have to do everything. It’s the norm now.

You have to. Remember when Drake came out. And he was singing and rapping? People were confused. But now? You can’t not do that (laughs). It’s all that. Which is great. It’s fucking incredible. I feel like now more than ever music is ready for me. You know what I mean? And I’m ready for it. I don’t feel old, I just feel grown enough to just be like, oh yeah I can do all this shit. I’ve been doing this shit for years. It’s just about catching the right moment and knowing what to do. Last time I caught the moment I didn’t know how to hold onto it. I never know how it’s gonna work anymore. I never know what song is going to work. You said you love Barbie and Ken. I was terrified to put the song out because it’s so, so opposite to the character of Jesse Rutherford from The Neighbourhood is known for.

Well, that’s what a solo project should do, innit? Show that other side?

I think so. I hope so.

[blacknerdproblems]

I’m not one to hold grudges but there are certain things I can’t get over. Or should I say, that I refuse to get over. The Bellas deserved an “L” (badly) against Das Sound Machine in Pitch Perfect 2, how incredible Cars 3 is (Yes, I’m still on that), and Dev’s (Aziz Ansari) “search” for Sara in Season 2 of Master of None.

Lemme repaint the picture, Season 2 of Master of None dropped back in May 2017. In Episode 1 (“The Thief”), Dev is in Modena, Italy doing real chef shit. Ya boy cooking. He cooking. Dev decides to treat himself to a birthday lunch at this Bruce Wayne, entry-by-reservation-only type restaurant, Hosteria Giusti. He meets Sara (Clare-Hope Ashitey) who mistakingly booked her reservation for the following month. Dev invites her to eat with him ’cause it’s the nice thing to do, and what ensues is 100% uncut cute shit.

They engage in slightly awkward conversations getting to know one another, talking about the social norms of conversation. They see they have a similar type of humor and continue to hang out, eating ice cream and riding bikes together. It’s a buffet of cute shit and I came back for fourths. Once it’s time to depart, Sara tells Dev she and some friends rented a house in Puglia for the weekend. She gives him her number and tells him to come through. Dev later gets his phone stolen and gives a valiant effort trying to catch the thief, but comes up short. Y’all know how the rest plays out.

“Have you learned nothing from BBC’s Sherlock?”

I’m watching this like, ‘Damn, I hate it had to be you, Dev’. Then he just moves on with his life in Episode 2, and I’m like “Hold up? We not going keep it all the way real with the sleuth shit?” Y’all were riding bikes together, man. If you don’t get your ass on Facebook and start going through Saras (without an “h” at the end) based in New York. Oh, you ain’t even get a last name? Uh, that’s Consensual Stalking 101. You know damn well we ’bout to Google each other to make sure the other person isn’t a mass murderer, isn’t arguing at celebs on Twitter, and has heard at least four tracks on Lemonade.

I had the editorial mapped out right then and there. A whole ass crazy wall with mad papers and strings connecting this all to Kevin Bacon and everything. Then, I said, ‘Lemme chill’. Maybe it’s just me—sometimes you gotta let go, right? I’m not going say things happen for a reason because I’ll tell you like Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog told me, “Everything happens”. Fam, I could not let that shit go. I’d be washing my clothes thinking, ‘but Dev coulda’, playing Mario Kart with my nephew, accidentally driving off Rainbow Bridge lost in thought while muttering, ‘If only Dev went and…’. I found myself randomly revisiting the issue, Googling ‘Sara and Dev’ today (2017 New Year’s Eve). I don’t even know why but I saw this MTV article about Master of None‘s unexpected Season 2 ending. In it, the the original ending was mentioned. I’ma ‘A Tribe Called Quest’ the entire excerpt so you understand my feels after reading it.

Dev and Francesca’s flirty friendship-turned-something-more wasn’t always the finale’s focus, however. Mastronardi also revealed the season’s original ending, which put Dev on a plane to find Sara (Clare-Hope Ashitey), the girl whose number he lost in Italy. She’s the first girl he shares a real connection with after his breakup with Rachel (Noël Wells) in Season 1. “Francesca had chosen Pino, and Dev finally found the number of the girl from the first episode of the season. But then he said maybe it’s too much, maybe the audience doesn’t even remember this character,” Mastronardi explained.

Read on here. [x]

[dressedupkiss]

21 days

Until March! Then 20 days til spring! Then two weeks til my birthday!

Then it will be so warm out and beautiful and spring will smell so nice and the sun will be so comforting and energizing, the moonlight at night will be so emotional, the stars in the sky will invite me to love them and celebrate...

Summertime will be a time for lovers and I will spend lots of time with Joel and George and I will make new stoner buddies and have lots of friends!! I will meet new people and make true connections with my newfound confidence and comfort in myself.

I don’t care about Laura anymore, she is just not kind to me and I don’t deserve to love someone who doesn’t respect or appreciate me.

I’m feeling good and ready for the new warm weather, just another month and a half and the sun will start to melt the snow and everything will be so beautiful!!

Lately it has been insanely cold outside like -30 every day and I hope there is a warm day soon.

I’m gonna do laundry at dads tomorrow and get groceries with him sometime this week, that will save me lots of money for food this month. It’s the 8th today I thought it was later in the month for some reason.

Only 16 more days until I get paid again! And this time I will have $484 all to myself for the month I am so excited to be able to spend my money more. I’m gonna get so many cool shirts for summer. I’ve been really frugal the past year because I had to pay off my MasterCard but now I did pay it off so I’m Rollin in my extra dough!!

I don’t have free wifi anymore because my neighbour cut everyone off or it’s just needs to be fixed like he said seemingly lying. Oh well. Soon enough I’ll have wifi from a different neighbour or something ....

My weed is coming on Wednesday, tomorrow is Tuesday, it’s about nearing 7pm today. Joel’s bday is in less than 10 days, I gotta draw them a pic for it. They haven’t lived in a place for themselves in like 3 months, they kept all their $1500 to themselves each month and they’re still out of money. They’re the worst at saving especially when they need to be saving for a vehicle. I hope they get a car and a place soon. It would suck to be summertime and they’re still not in a place of their own.

Riff raff has community telepathy with me, three loco I would see each of them every once in a while on YouTube or on tv shows or movies and I enjoyed all 3 and then I see they’re getting all fucked up on my intense vibes. I had such intense emotions and mental activity man I was singing good songs and feeling so much passion. Very exhausting though. Thought of so many things. Saw space. I dunno why everything gotta be a rollercoaster of rainbow magic but at least I’m ok still. I wish I didn’t have to be forced medication though.

My guts are full of food and I look big, I’m definitely ready to go walking and burn off these extra pounds. Still gotta wait 2 months though.

Unless there is a warm day again before spring. Then I will go walking. I’m glad it didn’t snow too much this year, a lot in the beginning but not too bad the rest of the winter. Has been real cold but not more snow.

I need to connect to nature more. Good thing I have marijuana. I’ve been doing mudras with my fingers lately in the morning sun and it feels really good. I was thinking of how eastern medicine is like bells and smoke and stuff and I learned how to do that by their example. I feel very eastern medicine-y and eastern worldly, I need a red covering with beautiful intricate patterns and brass bells 🔔

🔔

Looks like a lamp

I’ve only been able to make friends with male meth heads in the last couple years

I don’t really get close to them but there is an aspect of friendship there

Nameless kid, Lionel, and Derek.

Two native guys one white guy

Lionel reminds me of my white friend Adam tho

And He is super fit and strong

Oh there’s one more guy,

Andy

He’s native too and strong and fit

So that’s 4 meth heads drug addicts dudes that are nice ish to me and chill with me randomly

I guess that’s who I resonate with because I accept everyone for a beautiful creature and maybe these guys needed some extra acceptance because it must be tough living as a guy sometimes when everyone expects you to work super hard and do everything for everyone

Drug addiction must keep them busy with something rewarding and it must be from pain

So I go out in the world and meet drug addcts and they’re fine and nice and interesting for the while we hang out

At least that’s an interesting pattern

It’s not like I keep making friends with lonely fat girls lol I’d prefer the adrenaline jazz of a muscular addict than a sopping tubby chick

Fat girls just always suffocate me with their loneliness and they have a thing for me beinnamed Jacey and having long brown hair like jebus kristo

At least the addict guy accepts me when I tell him I’m gay; most of them stopped trying to get with me after I explained I am like a dude

I hate City shit and I hate university students and I hate cops and I hate dry lives

I like dreaming soldier First Nations rainbow tribe 🌈 heroes 🌟

And all the dead people who truly love their life and life altogether

My dead bro zack and his dreams for me are super appreciated and awesome

I like artists and dreamers and drifters and bewilderers and magical folk who do real magic

Magic is real more than dry life

I bring magic to the world

I believe in magic

Thank you my life!!

[psychicmedium14]

Have you ever thought you felt the spirit of a loved one who passed away around you? It’s not uncommon. As a medium I know there are people who have felt and experienced their loved ones in similar ways. What you might have missed are the signs your loved ones are using to reach out to you and let you know that they are standing with you are watching over you from up above. After a loved one passes on one of the first things they try to do is communicate with their family and friends left behind in the physical world to reassure them that life continues even after death. Many times you might ‘write off’ some of the ways they communicate as just a ‘coincidence’ but in fact what you are experiencing might just be a very special message from up above. Below are some of the signs your loved ones are using to get in touch with you. The reason why signs are so important is that they remind you of your loved ones spiritual presence in your everyday life without pulling you off course from living your life to the fullest. Each sign is a ‘Hello from Heaven’ reminding you that someone very special is there with you. Have you ever had any of these experiences? 1. Smells from the Afterlife Have you ever randomly smelled a fragrance that you associate with a loved one that has passed on? Sometimes your loved ones will send you a fragrance out of the blue to let you know they are close by. Some things you may have experience could be a specific cologne your loved one wore, the smell of smoke if they were a smoker or even the smell of aftershave. When the smell randomly is around you and triggers a memory rest assured it’s your loved one. 2. Pennies or Coins From Heaven Many times those in spirit will use symbols to catch your attention that was unique and special to them and one that’s shows their personality. A loved one in spirit will use pennies, dimes and nickels to communicate if they were a coin collector, loved casino games or maybe it’s an inside joke between you and them. When you see a random coin or penny pick it up and check the date. You may be surprised that the date will be a meaningful number such as a birthday, anniversary or date that was special in your relationship with them. 3. Music from the Afterlife This sign is very common and many times your loved ones will use this during special times in your life such as on or around birthdays, anniversaries or maybe in a time you need to feel their presence. Normally they will send you a song that will come on out of nowhere such as when you start you car in the morning or when your out shopping and you randomly hear it. It could be a song they used to sing to you or just a song that they loved when they were here. When you hear it know that it was divinely played for you to enjoy. 4. Orbs in Photos Have you taken pictures recently during family events or special occasions and there in the picture are floating orbs? Because those in spirit are 'energy’ sometimes they will appear in photographs and videos. When family and friends are together celebrating they tend to photographed more easily since there presence is always strongest during important events. When you see this know it’s your loved one's way of showing you they were in attendance with you. 5. Waking Up at 3am Every Night Many times your loved ones will use repetition to get your attention and also to show you it’s them. Recently after a loved one passes on they will use more prominent ways to get your attention. Waking you up at the same time is one of them. If you find that you keep waking up at the same time every night or waking up at the time of their passing do not be alarmed. This is your loved one's way of reaching you because you may have been missing the other signs they have been sending you. 6. Dream Visitations Have you ever had the experience where you dreamt of a loved one and it was so real you really thought it happened? Because the other side is made up of energy dreams are the easiest way for your loved ones to reach you. When you lay your head down to sleep your mind enters into an energy space that your loved ones can use as a ‘conference room’ to come and visit. They can pass you a message during that time or just show you they are no longer without illness. Whatever the message is know that you just experience a ‘Dream Visitation’. 6. Constantly Seeing 11:11 on the Clock or Other Repeating Numbers Times such as 11:11, 12:12, are messages that normally come in a time of need, or during a life change or transition when you are searching for guidance around uncertain times. Think of it like Heaven is sending you a little “Hello” letting you know they support and love you and you are on the right track. 7. Lights Flickering or Random Electrical Signs Because your loved ones are in an energy form sometimes their presence will affect electrical things such as making the lights flicker or turning on the TV. This normally happens within a few weeks after a loved one passes away while they are still getting used to the spirit side of life. No you house is not haunted, you are just seeing their presence in your house. 8. Random Memories of a loved one from out of Nowhere Many times your loved ones will send you random thoughts from some of the times you spent together. Have you ever had a random memory come to mind and say to yourself “Wow I forgot all about that” or a memory that is so deep it brings tears to your eyes. Know that your loved one just sent you a postcard from Heaven. 9. Dragonflies, Butterflies and Rainbows These are common symbols your loved ones will use as a reminder to get your attention. They are divine symbols that will show up when you least expect them to and when you need to know that your loved one is with you. If you have not received a sign from your loved one yet do not worry. Normally it can take up to a year after a loved ones passing to start to connect with them through signs. Normally, they will wait until you are emotionally ready to reach out to you and when they do it will be an amazing experience. Know that anything you think is a sign from your loved one pretty much is. Coincidences do not happen. When you receive a sign say thank you to your love out in Heaven. The more you acknowledge the signs they are sending you the more you open yourself up to communicating with them. When you write off a sign as a coincidence it is like writing ‘return to sender’ on the envelope and sending it back to Heaven. That being said talk with your loved ones and let them know you are ready to start receiving the signs from them. Just a simple conversation in your mind or out loud will open you up to them reaching you.