#Anyway yeah lots of thoughts but I could not take it seriously bc of the awkward voice casting

[shima-draws]

Watched the MLB movie and I just. I WANT to gush about it but the fact that Marinette’s regular voice actor and her singing voice actor sound SO different just took me out of it every time and left me feeling very disengaged;; At least Adrien’s singing voice kind of sounds like his speaking voice (and Gabriel’s is 👌 bc my king Keith Silverstein can actually sing and he can sing REALLY fucking well) but Marinette’s. The voices are COMPLETELY different and it threw me off every single time. Like obviously her singing voice is really good and I understand why they picked that person to do her songs but bro you could have at least TRIED to get someone that sounds similar to Cristina Vee. It drove me nuts every time she sang bc I was like “That is CLEARLY a different person entirely!!”

I’m realizing this might have been a dubbing issue but still 😭 I feel like I would have enjoyed the movie way more if it didn’t look like Marinette was lip syncing the entire time bc there was such a huge disconnect between her speaking and singing voice

[littlemisslipbalm]

Demonology

Part 2: Unholy Affliction

Series Summary: A new demon has come to Nashville. Josh and Jake's ways of life have been thrown off by her arrival. The angel and demon have lived with an understanding of one another, but with Y/N stirring up trouble and asking questions, they're forced to work out a new normal. And why is she so powerful for a human turned demon anyway, that's unusual, right?

A/N: hiiii heres part 2!!! Pls like comment and reblog bc it helps and makes me happy to hear what you think! Also I’ve added a taglist form so add yourself to that and I’ll make sure you get tagged from now on! Happy reading <3

Summary: Y/N finally runs into the demon named Jake. What a night!

Word Count: 4.8k | Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, 18+ descriptions of sex (no explicit smut yet), demon!jake ayo, i think that’s it

Taglist | Series Masterpost

Part Two: Unholy Affliction

She didn’t run into the odd angel and demon duo for two months. After the brief encounter outside of the speakeasy with both of them, nothing. She was enduring her second life back on Earth as best as could be expected as someone with little to no knowledge about the modern world with no one but her dog to talk to about things that really mattered. She insisted to Rori as they lounged around the apartment that she was having fun as he stared at her dubiously. 

She’d be more than damned to be upset that the other demon hadn’t come to find her. He probably thought he was too good for her or just didn’t care about her. Well, she definitely didn’t care. She didn’t need him to help her. Making trouble came easily to her. It was just everything else about being in this world that was hard. 

It was an accident when she finally bumped into him. At least, it was by accident for her. She had chosen to take the long way home from the bar she had made hers for the night. Swirling around to music she blared from the phone she’d picked up after a few weeks, Rori ran circles around her howling into the night. She sang along to the music and danced, staring at the waxing moon. Mostly alone, but she felt mostly alive. Wasn’t a total loss. 

She paid no attention to her surroundings. It was so late on a back road, it was unlikely anyone would be around and if they were around, she would make them sorry they bothered her. 

“Is this all you do then?” A voice from the shadows inquired. 

She recognized it immediately. She’d hung onto his voice as one of the few pieces of information she had about this ancient demon. Jake. Seemed silly to her that he didn’t have a more hellish name. It was practically still an altar boy’s name–she should use that on him if he said something really rude. 

She stops the music and her movements, coming to a complete standstill. “Jake.” 

He saunters out of the shadows, messing with his hair. He stares at her, waiting for an answer. 

“How do you mean?”

He rolls his eyes and gestures his hand to her body. “Party. Cause a little trouble. Get drunk. Wander home alone.” Sad.

She laughs, certain he was kidding, and choosing to ignore the stab in her chest she felt at the word ‘alone’. “I have my—Isn’t that the job?” 

“Just the trouble part. But altering bars to your liking doesn’t really fulfill that. There’s a lot of ways to get the job done even if your specialties are seduction and desire…” 

He narrowed his eyes at the end of his sentence. Jake thought she was silly. He didn’t take his job very seriously but he also couldn’t stand to see someone doing it differently than him. 

She didn’t feel shame but a certain strangeness about the fact that Josh had clearly talked about their night at the speakeasy to Jake. 

“You seem too young to be sent up to the big leagues. Nepo baby?”

“What baby? I don’t even know what that means.”

Jake sighs in exasperation. 

“Nepotism was around in the 70s before they dragged you down to Hell, yeah? A practice among those in power to give special preference to relatives. Erh,” Jake tried to think of a reference she might know. “Whatever. Forget it.” 

This was the third thing he added to the growing list of ways she seemed to be struggling in the modern world. This, the bars and how she wasn’t taking advantage of online ordering—he definitely hadn’t been spying on her these last two months, he just may have stopped by her place a few times. Just to see if she’d had her earthly access revoked or not. 

Jake tilts his head and his cheekbones catch in the light. He was a handsome demon. She liked his longer hair, reminding her of the boys back in the day. His brown eyes were sweet like his angel counterpart’s, but the yellow ones she had seen the other day had sent a shiver down her spine. 

“If I’m doing the job so wrong, why has it taken you this long to tell me? Maybe if you guided me or gave me information I could do the devil’s will a little better?” She tried to keep the unfamiliar nerves growing in her stomach away.

“It’s not in my interests to help you, per say.” He gestures a hand out towards the road she had been traveling, wanting them to keep walking. “But, unofficially, you're doing the afterlife life so wrong it's hurting my no good soul.” 

She falls into step with him, still watching him as he disregards her, pulling his sunglasses back over his eyes. “True demons have souls?” 

“My consciousness, whatever that I am, it doesn’t really matter what you call it. Just is the easiest term.” He grumbles. 

She smiles at his frustration with her. “So you’re gonna mentor me?” Her voice was relaxed, but she couldn’t hide the truth from herself. She wanted more than anything to have some guidance from Jake. He seemed to know what he was doing and while she denied it, she did feel unfulfilled so far. 

“I guess… It’ll get Josh off my back about your fiddling with the swing of the bars.” 

“You listen to your angel brother? And it’s really nothing, I don’t know why both of you keep bringing it up!” 

“Because people!” Jake stops, raising his voice shakily. He takes hold of her shoulders. “People have been talking about it. The first lesson of demonology is to make sure your work goes unnoticed. Evil is insidious. It doesn’t knock at the door or even bust it off its hinges, it seeps through the cracks, uninvited and unannounced until it's too late.” 

She’s alight at his touch. His hands are fire against her exposed skin that had cooled in the night air. He is literally steaming with passion and she can feel it falling off of him. She feeds off of it. Her eyes stare up into his unreadable face. His lips are parted in a perfect cupid’s bow–reminiscent of his angel origins. 

“And I don’t listen to Josh. It’s just impossible to get him to shut up.” 

She sighs, waving her hand at Rori who had returned from running ahead when he realized the two demons weren’t behind him anymore. 

“But why does Josh care?” 

“Because,” Jake shakes his head, letting go of her arms and starting to walk again. “If enough people get talking about it, then the Upstairs will eventually get a hold of it and ask Josh why he hasn’t put a stop to it.”

She’s still confused. “And?”

“For fuck’s sake…And Josh and I have a deal where we don’t step on each other’s toes. We do enough good and enough bad–at least, it had been enough–to keep the ones in charge satisfied. You’re fucking it up for both of us. Making us work.”

“It kind of sounds like what I’m doing is actually fine and you two are just mad because you don’t want to deal with it.” 

They reach a black door with a lamp to the right of it, illuminating the address number ‘666’. She stares between him and the number, tapping her nose. Jake shakes his head, twisting the door handle and grumbling something about how it was establishment-issued. The sound of the lock undoing itself is heard from inside the wall. 

He opens the door and responds indignantly. “Nuh-uh.” 

She laughs. “Uh-huh…No wonder Hell sent me up here. You’re slacking!” 

She follows him down the long dark entryway through an arch that opened into a 70s style conversation pit, completely carpeted in navy blue. The color of a deep night sky with only a few stars to keep it lit. 

“What do you expect? I’m a demon. Thousands of years old, I’ve paid my fucking dues.”

There’s a bottle of whiskey open on the coffee table in the center, half drank. In a blink of an eye, they both have full glasses in their hands. Jake doesn’t offer a salutation and drinks slowly from the glass and proceeds to remove his sunglasses. His eyes flicker between brown and yellow several times when they return to Y/N. He swore he’d seen her before.

“Plus, the humans are so much better at thinking up evil shit to do. Things I’d never even dream up.” He relaxes into his seating, looking altogether like he belonged here. Far more than he did in Heaven or Hell. 

She pulls her knees up to her chest and rests her chin on top while she takes a sip of the expensive looking liquor. She was trying to keep her eyes on Jake and her immediate surroundings rather than staring around the place with wandering eyes. It was expansive, filled with trinkets that looked older than most of the modern world, mixed in with incredible paintings and lavish decor. No house she’d been in had been this beautiful and some had been rockstar’s homes. Then again, she never had much time or lucidity to look around those places. 

Pointedly, she stared at Jake instead of the room. He had seen through her as a newbie with no real clue what she was supposed to do. She didn’t want to seem fazed by a little interior design. 

“So what do you do instead of Hell’s wishes?” 

“Play my guitar mostly,” Jake shrugs. “Then I write up a report on whatever shitty things humans have done in the last month and send it down to Hell as my deeds.” 

“You’re a musician too,” Her eyes lit up, her humanity slipping to the surface. “Tell me you play real music. Not the garbage that comes out of all the stereos around here.” 

Jake’s laugh is loud and obnoxious but she likes it. 

“It’s not all bad but I know what you mean. Nothing like the 70s around these days. Bet you would’ve liked the 90s though…There was some fantastic rock.” 

She moves closer to him, eager for Jake to talk about something she liked and cared about. He could be someone who could guide her and converse with. He shifts a little bit away from her and she tilts her head in confusion.

Jake nods at her as he swallows more of his whiskey. 

“I heard you succeeded in tempting Josh.”

“Not really,” She shrugs, immediately knowing why Jake was keeping his distance.

“Josh letting a demon kiss him to show him mystical porn…” Jake chuckles darkly. “That’s plenty of success.” 

“He’s challenging.” She tried to keep hurt out of her voice, but considering she hadn’t seen Josh either she wondered if she’d really scared him off. “Everyone else is too easy around here—and gross.”

Jake smirks. “It’s very impressive for such a minor demon to have gotten that far with an angel like Josh.” 

“It seems like you’ve had a corrupting influence on him,” she pushed back. 

“Well, yeah. But I’ve never macked on him in a speakeasy dressed like that.” Jake’s eyes wander over her figure. She wasn’t wearing the same thing as she had with Josh, but it communicated the same thing. All black, low cut and high cut all at once, and the carnelian necklace, glowing like a beacon. 

“I could make that happen for you two, if you wanted.” 

“I do not want that. At all.”

“Just checking. You sound kind of jealous.”

Jake shakes his head at her. “You’re rotten.” 

He couldn’t quite puzzle her out. She wasn’t like other demons he’d come into contact with over the years. They were solitary creatures and wretched. She wanted companionship, which was particularly human. And while she was good at the evil stuff, her desire for interaction and connection seemed to outweigh what should be her main prerogative: devilish destruction. 

She wanted to hear about his music rather than talk about how she’d almost successfully tempted an angel, for Satan's sake. Half the demons he knew barely registered music as an instrument of demonic work, much less took pleasure in it. 

“What were you doing in the 60s and 70s,” She asks. 

Jake smiled, memories flashing before his eyes immediately. His eyes go yellow at the question and she realizes it’s kind of like him closing his eyes. Like an internal eyelid or something. Something inhuman. 

Disraeli Gears began to spin on a record player somewhere in the room and her smile matched Jake’s.

“Cream was my favorite band back then. Clapton, he was the man.”

“I’m more of a George Harrison gal when it comes to British guitarists,” she says dreamily. “I saw Cream at the Troubadour when they were just starting out. But the Doors were more my style. Zeppelin, Stones and Hendrix too. God, those guys were something.”

“You were in the music scene?” Josh had said she was from Los Angeles. He hadn’t been specific about what she did.

She finished her drink and held out the glass for more. Jake just stared at it and suddenly the glass was full again. She grinned, taking a sip with a nod of appreciation. 

“Yeah. It’s what got me on the devil’s list. Sleeping with singers and doing way too many drugs. Started sneaking backstage when I was 15 and getting into trouble started about the second I walked through the door.”

Jake nodded with reverence. Her expertise made sense. Why she was so powerful, still unanswered. He finished his second glass and switched to the bottle, deciding to settle in for the night that was quickly becoming morning. 

The demons went back and forth, retelling ridiculous stories from the time where their lives first overlapped. Jake’s bad fashion choices. Her terrible taste in men. Jake’s inventions of evil. Their shared expensive taste for party drugs and liquor. 

The first whiskey and a second bottle were gone after a few hours and they were sprawled on the navy floor. She ran her hands along the soft carpet. 

“Thanks for finally coming to see me. Thought you hated me,” she murmurs.

“I hate two things in this world: Justin Bieber and global warming. I jus’ was worried you’d get me in trouble when you first got here. Needed to know if you were a snitch or not.”

She nods. Jake nods back, shutting his eyes fully. 

“Wait. Who’s Justin Bieber?” 

Jake cackles. “I keep forgetting you know practically nothing about what’s happened in the last 50 years. You’re like a child.”

Her eyes flash black at Jake’s teasing. Her defenses went up at any sign of embarrassment, but her head was swimming in brown liquor. She barely managed to sit up and stare meanly at him. With his eyes still closed, he didn’t even take notice. Though he heard her huff unhappily and it made him grin. 

“That why you need a friend? To show you the ropes of modern life?” He pushes himself up to lean on his hands. It was like he had seen inside her mind. “You kind of got sent back at a shit time. Sorry.” 

If she could still feel true shame, she might have blushed, but her body didn’t work like that anymore. Instead her eyes stayed black and her hair reddened. 

“Am I hitting a nerve?” Jake chuckles again, his cruel nature peeking out at her obvious discomfort, and his eyes flick yellow. “You’re lonely?” 

She huffs, feeling the liquor fueling a growing anger. Where was her blood-sucking dog when she needed him? Actually, she wasn’t sure if demon’s like Jake would bleed so maybe it was good Rori stuck to the shadows—i.e. gone to bed. 

“No.”

“You can’t lie to me, Sal.”

The name she gave to Josh sticks in Jake’s voice. It’s an accusation. He knew. How. 

“I’ve been lying longer than you’ve existed. I can see a liar coming from off in the harbor.” Jake continues, his jeering laugh makes her skin crawl. It’s like he’d slipped into a different part of himself. Different, but still clearly Jake. “You never asked about my speciality.” 

She had a feeling he’d tell her. Wherever he had gone to with his eyes stuck in their horrifying yellow form, he was in charge for the time being. 

“Tricksters, thieves and gluttons. Used to have lechery, but it got boring.” 

“I didn’t get to choose,” she mumbles. She had drawn her knees up to her chest again, feeling some semblance of anxiety.

Jake’s eyes flicked back to brown and his smirk turned to a frown. “You didn’t get to choose?”

“Do human-demons normally get to choose?”

“Humans don’t normally become demons,” Jake corrects. “But no matter, you’re supposed to choose.”

“I don’t know what else I would’ve chosen besides what I got, I guess. It’s just not something I’m actually passionate about.” She laughs at the irony. “I don’t want to sleep with just anybody anymore. I already did that. I just want to have a good time on my terms this time.”

He smirked with a little surprised laugh. “You’re sweet on my angel brother aren’t you? His pristine feathers got under your skin.” 

She was about to deny it when she remembered what had just happened when she’d lied to him. 

“I like a challenge. That doesn’t mean I’m only interested in him…But I need a bit of a game.”

Jake knew what she was saying. She knew it. Their almost drunken fight was forgotten. The subject matter moving along to something they had clearly been avoiding all night. Their desire. She liked the power Jake exuded, even if it scared her a little too. She wanted to see if she could get him, too.

Jake rolls his eyes and motions for her to come closer. “I bet you can’t get into my mind. Nothing you could show me could sway me into sleeping with you. How’s that for a challenge?” 

She smiled. “But don’t you want to sleep with me?” 

“Says who?” He spread his legs, his knees bowed out wide. He motioned for her to take a seat on top of him. “I could make myself look like Josh if you’d like. All I’ve got to change is the hair, our faces are the same. I know he’s been avoiding you.” 

He switches from ambivalent to cruel between sentences and she can’t find her footing. She swings her left leg over his body, settling into his lap. Her hands instinctively went to his chest as he stared up at her. He was a challenge in a different way to his angel brother. 

“Okay, lay the thoughts on me,” Jake puts a hand on her shoulder when she leans in, a knowing smirk on his lips. “And I know you don’t actually need to kiss me to transfer them. There just has to be some form of skin to skin contact.” 

She huffs in annoyance. “Spoil sport.” 

Jake laughs. “Go on, giddy up, girl.” 

She narrows her eyes at him, allowing them to slip to black as she raises her fingers to Jake’s temples. Her hands slink into his hair and take a rough grasp of his roots. He grunts in mild discomfort, but maintains his challenging stare, lowering his hands to her hips to keep her still. 

Her eyelids flicker like her eyes are rolling back in her head, but the spheres of inky black don’t change. Jake watches with tempered interest, seeing her process. 

Then his vision shifts, leaving his comfortable living room, it's cloudy, murky like a foggy night out on the ocean. It’s still familiar to him. Her figure appears through the mist, shifting with the fog. She steps closer to Jake and he now hears the lapping of the ocean and tastes the salt of the oceanair on his lips. She’d found a memory of one of his ships and made it the setting for this temptation. 

‘Your fantasies are all nautical themed,’ She speaks in his mind, her tone is curious. ‘Why’s that?’

‘Aren’t you supposed to be seducing me?’

‘Yeah, but I still have questions.’

Jake laughs inside his head and he hates the way he doesn’t hate her presence there and then he wonders if she can feel that feeling. This was new for him. 

The scene rocks melodically back and forth upon waves and a beautiful blue light descends on the room he begins to see. She’s a figure at the corner of it, leaning against a door, the entire room is cozy and she is surprised by the care that seems to exude from this recess of Jake’s mind. 

There’s a cool breeze, but overall the room is warm and Jake is sat leaning back upon the bed while he watches her approach. 

‘I don’t see anything.’ She murmurs. Jake feels a ripple in the vision, a strange dichotomy of the faux images she’s showing him and the plane of reality their physical bodies are existing on. She’s pressing harder into his real skin, in his living room, talking aloud. 

Jake says nothing. 

‘I know you have carnal desires, I can sense them,’ she continues. ‘Why are they so vague?’ 

In the vision, she has sat beside Jake now, staring at him. She looks a little different in the vision than how he has seen her physical body. Her hair is duller, her body weaker, she looks far more human to Jake. Still beautiful and sensual, but he wonders if maybe she cannot change the image of her soul in the ether as easily as she can on Earth. 

She is wearing a deep blue slip, the first time he’s seen her in a color other than black. He moves in the vision and her eyes widen, confused that he has autonomy in something she is meant to control. He brushes at her hair, allowing his hand to gently trail her face and neck.

‘I usually like to pleasure my partner. I like to give them what they want.’

She stares at him intently, feeling a shiver in her spine once more. Out of control.

‘Your big wide eyes, you’re like a helpless bug, even here. All confused why you’re not in control, showing me my deepest, darkest desires.’ 

She focuses harder on her task, searching through the wisps of memory in Jake’s mind. Like Josh, he had only allowed her into a small portion of his mind, but a small portion of an ancient creature was still cavernous. She flipped through the images in search of concrete memories rather than memories of desire. Memories of times when he had felt fulfilled, she saw him curled around beautiful women, sometimes strong and sometimes meek and she was surprised. He didn’t seem like the one to be soft in the bedroom, but she remembered his remark of giving what his partners wanted. 

‘You’re barely a demon. Still practically an angel.’ She mutters, feeling discomfort when watching the scenes of him with other people for some reason. 

‘I am not.’ His voice is warning. She doesn’t press. 

She kept digging, still unsure what to do to show him something that would tempt him. Images of him in bed alone surface after a while and she pushes harder, looking for the thoughts that had been in his head at that time. She looked for what he imagined when his hand was slipping around himself in the dark. The thoughts that made his breath quicken and his stomach shudder. Finally. 

She shifted the image, her figure below Jake and she feels a strange sort of deja vu. The Jake in the scene was over her and she was moaning the usual obscenities as his hair rocked around her. Jake’s actual consciousness was unimpressed. 

‘So sometimes I like it a little vanilla, so what? You’re still not convincing me to crave you, demoness.’

‘Your mind is strange. Hard to navigate, I guess.’

Vision Jake leans down to kiss her with a hum. ‘I like that.’ 

She shifts the scene, unhappy with him messing with her again. She shows them together in a few different positions and she feels herself pulling from the things she had shown Josh, hoping Jake couldn’t tell. She also shows Jake a scene of him between her thighs and she hears him groan, making her feel a little accomplished. 

The final scene, she had been holding onto in hopes that she would’ve flustered him enough before having to show it to him. It was risky, even for her. He was a strong demon and this could make him more upset than aroused. But if he hadn’t wanted her to access the idea, he should’ve been more careful. 

They’re in a beautiful room, draped in red and flooded with moonlight. She straddles Jake’s hips and she rocks back and forth on him. He hums as she runs her hands over every curve of his face, down his neck and across his shoulders. Then she speaks to him, her lips pressed against the curve of his ear, soft and insistent. 

‘You do not have to be good to be loved.’ She felt Jake push at her presence, but she continued, kissing at his sweaty skin. ‘You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.’ 

She kisses him deeply on the lips and vision Jake relents, giving in to her touch. Letting it consume him, he gets lost in the imagined moment, pulling her figure closer, wanting them to meld into one. In the vision, it’s almost as if they do, their souls twisting and touching in a way so foreign to the material world she was alight in a way she never had been before.

In his living room, she releases his head and her eyes flicker back to their regular color. Jake’s hands are strong, keeping her close as he blinks back to the physical plane. 

“How did you know to say that?” Jake breathes, feeling slightly off, but knowing he wanted Y/N here. “How did you see that?”

She feels the intensity of Jake’s question. “It was in a memory. You read the poem and then went to bed.” 

Jake nodded, still staring at her face but not quite her eyes, wanting her to continue. 

“I felt how happy you were that night when you came. The only thing different from other nights was that poem. Thought I’d give it a shot.” 

“Don’t ever speak of that to anyone. Do you understand me?” His fingers were burning at her sides. 

“I would never.” Her voice is sincere. She worries her lip, unsure if she should say what’s really on her mind. “I meant it.”

Jake looks up at her eyes for the first time since they had come out of the vision. “What?” 

She traces under his eyes gingerly with her thumbs, scared of him pushing her away. “I understand why you like the poem so much. I like it too. So, I meant it...You can tell me about your despair, and I will tell you mine.”

She pauses, watching Jake’s blank expression. 

“If you want. Challenge, everything, aside. I am a demon but I am also still a girl inside somewhere. Both exist within me and I don’t even like the demon stuff all that much. I’ve had 50 years to realize just how much I wish I’d done it all differently. Maybe I wouldn’t be seducing strangers as some sort of living dead eternal 27 year old. Maybe I could’ve been alive somewhere else right now, withering with a long line of family to love me as I died slowly.” 

“Oh fucking hell,” Jake sighs, releasing a hand to twirl a finger through her hair. .

“What?” 

“You’re fucking brilliant,” He shakes his hair out and then presses his lips against her just like he had in the vision. “You win,” He mumbles against her lips. 

She kisses him back, her arms snaking around his neck. “It wasn’t a gimmick. I’m serious.” 

“I know, and you win. Sincerity,” Jake moves his lips to kiss along her jaw. “Is extremely sexy, in a world where almost nothing is true. Fuck. You’re so soft.” 

She grinned up at the ceiling, befuddled but excited. 

“Do those people even know the gift they were getting when you went home with them?” His voice shakes with passion and desire. She’s certain this is not from her usual influence. Her powers hadn’t worked on Jake at all.

Jake was practically worshiping her because she was herself. Because she had found a real piece of him and shown it to him and connected with it. It felt better than any meaningless hookup she’d had before. Jake, the demon who had criticized her, was the gentlest lover she’d ever had. The sweetest soul she’d ever connected with. It felt so good to be seen.

-

To be continued….

let me know what you think

Taglist: @joshysgirl @ofthecaravel

[aimbutmiss]

https://www.tumblr.com/aimbutmiss/740317414935461888/i-feel-like-roger-loved-both-buggy-and-shanks

this literally made me tear up bc like yes!! Buggy def felt it, this distance, that was never intentional on Rogers part, or even like, true. But it certainly came across that way to buggy and like, every now and then I remember how buggy got his devil fruit abilities like, he was literally making plans to take off and go his own way. It’s heartbreaking but maybe he wanted so bad to prove himself, to make them see him in Roger’s image. As a successful pirate, on his OWN bc he didn’t believe the others thought he could get there.

like I see the occasional, Roger would be and Rayleigh is disgusted with buggy posts that are like “oh buggy is everything the Roger parents aren’t, he doesn’t value nakama he was gonna leave them” etc. when like. First of all. They’re pirates. Like yeah okay some of them do good but we don’t actually KNOW much of the Rogers pirates save that they are pirates and probably the best of their time. So idk where the disgust conversation comes in from. Second—they raised this kid. They KNEW he was greedy as hell. And they loved this greedy shit. I think that whole “I’m gonna leave” reads more of a hurting kid making a backup plan, or even just, wanting so bad to prove himself—only to find himself relying on them once more as he loses the ability to swim.

Yes to everything!! No one ever talks about how Buggy, aged roughly 12, was so prepared to just run away from the Oro Jackson and make it out there on his own. How sad is that? I wonder how inferior or unwanted he felt to decide on such thing. He was willing to leave behind people he loved because he didn't feel, or see that love back, even though those people would have killed for him.

Thank God I haven't run into some bullshit post saying Roger and Rayleigh would be disappointed. That's literally their baby... Seriously though, I feel like Buggy is one of the few characters that is exactly as he seems. What you see is what you get. He makes his priorities and wants very clear and he's not ashamed of being selfish. That man's not evil or a bad person, he clearly cares about his crew, and he's not hiding anything from anyone. He reminds me a lot of Luffy in that way actually, because as people grow into adulthood they tend to become more secretive. They'll hide their bad intentions, put on socially acceptable masks to be perceived as good no matter what they are actually like on the inside. But children, they haven't learned that yet. Because that's literally a learned social behaviour. Both Buggy and Luffy are like kids in this regard, what they think on the inside is clearly reflected in their actions. And what's purer than that?? Even if Buggy isn't necessarily a good person, he's nowhere near bad either. And as you said, Roger and Rayleigh already knew he was a greedy kid, and they still loved him. Because pirates are supposed to be greedy anyway!!! Everyone seeks something, it's only natural. For Buggy, it's treasure, like it is freedom for Luffy. There's no way Roger, Rayleigh, or even Shanks could ever be disappointed in Buggy because he hasn't done anything wrong. He is still the same old Buggy they knew, he hasn't changed one bit. And they love him for that.

Also reminder that every pirate out there has done some bad things, that's like their whole thing. Even Luffy does some of those things, like stealing, which is one of the things I love about One Piece but that's a whole other discussion. So, no, again, Buggy's not bad. He's just a greedy pirate. And I love him for that.

[ladyloveandjustice]

I liveblog the Odyssey (The Liveblogyssey)

'I've been listening to and reading The Odyssey (Emily Wilson's translation) and I've been rambling a lot to my partner, so I thought I would also liveblog my first impressions! I read parts of The Odyssey in high school and college but never the whole thing start to finish.

Athena spoils half the plot right off, I mean obviously I knew it already, but still. We start near the end of the story with Odysseus trapped on Calypso's island, Telemachus really upset that the suitors are EATING ALL THEIR SHEEP, and the beginning follows Telemachus around as he travels around to try to learn about his dad and if he's alive. Which... we know he is so that takes a little of the tension out of it.

(Seriously, Telemachus is very fixated on the sheep thing. I get that it's a big source of food but maybe you should be a little more concerned about your mom fending off 108 suitors bud).

Athena in disguise goes to meet and accompany him, appearing as an older man, and this translation is very simple and accessible (though there are definitely moments of beautiful prose) but this sometimes leads to really awkward lines like Telemachus telling Athena in disguise "I will give you a precious, pretty treasure as a keepsake to mark our special friendship" which like. are you hitting on him Telemachus you just said you think he's fatherly.

Telemachus is going thru it though. so you can't help but feel bad for him. "My mother says I am his son, but I can't be sure [...} I wish I were the son of someone lucky, who can grow old at home, instead the most unlucky man alive is said to be my father." Like that one of the times you feel the connection going back thousand of years so fiercely, the idea of having no connection to your father because you've never met him and he doesn't even feel like your dad, just a story, and too bad you can't be the son of someone who's around.

Meanwhile, a super unintentionally funny lin from young Mac is "The poets are not to blame for how things are, Blame Zeus." which yeah, that sums up most of Greek myth doesn't it! (also very funny of Homer to be like "be nice to poets, they're cool".) He also tells his own Mom to go back to the kitchen so he can assert to the suitors he's in charge and there's a man in this house, but we are reading a story from 8th century BC so.

Anyway he goes around with Athena travelling and learning about his dad, and honestly, the Odyssey is so funny. Love the part where Nestor is like "oh if only Athena favored you as she did her father" and Telemachus is like “Yeah Athena’s not on my side” :/ and she's just. sitting there with him and says”hmm are you sure I think she maybe is probably"

(and then she's like "btw to gods don't control who lives and who dies TELEMACHUS we can't even protect our mortal loved ones (but please ignore all the times we've actively killed people) and also! also! I think your dad should be grateful to go on a cool quest and be alive when he could have just died the second he left Troy, think about THAT!!!)

then she just randomly turns into a bird and leaves after ensuring Telemachus has good sleeping arrangements. Telemachus never reacts to this, everyone else is just like "omg Athena!!" he says nothing I assume he was just standing there in slackjawed shock for the next couple of hours and going over all the embarrassing things he said.

Also we get to see Helen! And I knew from earlier Greek studies that people today acting like she was dumb just because men found her attractive was misogynist nonsense. But now I get to be extra mad because the woman isn't just not dumb, she's really intelligent and observant!

Not only does she immediately figure out who Telemachus is because she saw him when he was a newborn (how??) and relays that during the Trojan war she was the only one able to recognize odysseus when he came to her place in disguise and gave him intel, but most importantly she talks about "the day the Greeks marched off to troy, their minds fixated on war and violence. They made my face the cause that hounded them". Just subtly calling the whole army out. She knows they didn't actually go to war for her. She knows she was just an excuse, and a weak one at that. She knows they wanted this war, they wanted this violence.

So yeah, Helen is smart as hell! Screw that "Everyone wanted Helen of Sparta I wanted someone a little smarter" shit from Epic, sexist nonsense, I'm glad that song was cut.

She also mentions that "Aphrodite made her go crazy" when she agreed to run off, which could be literally true (Aphrodite did tend to do that) or a clever way to protect her reputation after leaving her husband.

Helen also has drugs, which I imagine is a big reason everyone liked her. The total package. But uh, she also does drugs everyone's drinks without apparently telling them. With what sounds like superpowered magic weed or something, to make them mellow and calm and erase anxiety and depression. It says "Whoever drinks this mixture for the bowl will shed no tears that day not even if her mother or father should die" which uh actually seems kind of dangerous! But Telemachus is goin' thru it, so maybe he could use it. but apparently it doesn't work (or takes a long time to kick in} because Telemachus gets upset anyway and says things like "This makes it worse! Courage could not save my father's life!" and wants to go to bed. (PS she got the weed from Egypt, and it's nice that the story is very complementary about Egyptians, calling them the "healer's people").

And then we've finished Telemachus's depression session and get back to Penelope. THE SAGA CONTINUES IN PART 2.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hi lovely just been checking up with your blog and earlier you asked about the ideas for one little scene moments ( btw I loved the one you posted, what I love about your writing is how detailed you are I can see that and feel it in my head love you so much for that seriously ) so I love angst (i'm sorry ) so wanted to send you this. Girl/reader is being done with Matty's unwillingness to understand her pov during a fight and is out of words, gives up and agrees with him without any emotions and this is where it hits him. He then tries to show her he does get it which is hard bc she gave up. i Hope it makes sense sorry that might be a complicated

Omg this is so so so sweettt???? 🥹💗💗💗 and it makes me happy to hear that cuz I often feel like I’m better at writing dialogue than I am at scene-setting, plot, emotions, etc. and it bugs me sometimes hahaha. So this means a lot to me for real 💗💗

anyways, I THINK, I know what you mean. Let me know if this is not it. I’ll be happy to give it a second shot.

———

“I just don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect my girlfriend to be on my fuckin side.” Matty huffed, the heat of the argument making his skin feel too warm for him. He looked down at the marble of kitchen island as he sat at the barstool, pushing his half empty cigarette packet around with his finger, and watching it slide from one side to the other. his knees began to bounce as soon as he sat down, the nervous energy flowing through him, but he did his best to avoid looking into her eyes.

“I’m just pointing out that irony has its limits. I’m not saying abandon the entire show-“

“No, not at all. but you ARE saying you wouldn’t enjoy seeing it.” His lips moved before his brain could think, still addressing the sliding cigarette packet, he spoke with a clenched jaw. “‘So, how’s the new tour Matty? Seen the reviews, it looks great!’ ‘Yeah, yeah, thanks, mate. My girlfriend hates it, but hey, at least Rolling Stone thought it was alright.’” She shook her head in disbelief, walking around the kitchen island and towards the fridge to pour herself a glass of water.

“I am, and always will be, you’re biggest fan and you know it.” She grabbed an empty glass off the dish rack, pulling the fridge door open with her free hand.

“Didn’t sound like a fan when Brad asked you what you thought. Sounded like a- a- Twitter troll.”

in the silence, Matty could hear the gulping sound of the water pouring down her throat. She set the now empty glass of water on the marble counter, inches away from his cigarette packet.

In a calmer, more composed tone, she restated the point that she felt she’d been making all day. “I merely pointed out that, as it stands right now, the show feels like it’s more of the same thing. And that if your goal is change, evolution, a female perspective on this whole question of masculinity wouldn’t hurt”

“But that’s the fuckin point!” Finally, the frustration feeling bigger and stronger than his body, Matty stood up, sighing loudly and pulling at his own hair. “To take the thing to his absurdist limit such that it becomes a parody of itself. Besides I refuse to participate in the false dichotomy of male versus female. To fix one you must become more like the other? What kind of bullshit artist do you think I am?”

He finally picked up the cigarette packet and lit one, taking a drag that forced him to stop and breathe in for a moment.

her lips parted, instantly, ready for the rebuttal. Ready to explain to him, for the hundredth time in the past hour, that she wasn’t suggesting what he thinks. That she wanted him to try harder to practice all the things that he theorizes. To ask himself what he’d feel if he were to be vulnerable, without the safety net of a joke, or an act, to fall back on. But as she prepared her next argument, running through her thoughts before she spoke them, the feeling of defeat overwhelmed her. She’s been at this a while. Trying to explain what she meant in different ways. Some gentler, more indirect, leaving it up to Matty to draw his own conclusions, others louder, more blunt, unequivocally disagreeing with him. But Matty was so trapped in his own vision to step outside of himself and entertain an alternative. She took a deep breath, squeezing her lips shut. Then, she exhaled, looking at Matty as his fingers nervously tapped against the marble surface. “okay.” She said simply. “I get it.”

Matty blew the smoke up towards the ceiling. “I’m just saying” he spoke authoritatively, like a lecturer clarifying complex concepts to a room full of novice students. “I know what I’m doing. And I wish I could the sense that you believed in this thing as much as I do.” He finally turned to meet her eyes.

“I do. I believe in it.”

“I trust the audience. They’ll get it. I don’t think they’ll think it’s the same show all over again.” He was doubling down, but the more he spoke, the more he seemed to doubt his own words.

“yeah, you’re right. I think they’ll get it.”

she walked in a semi-circle, around Matty’s body, retrieving her empty glass. It still held on to some of the coolness from the water that had left it. She set the glass down in the sink, turning on her heels and walking out of the kitchen without sparing him a second glance.

she felt foolish that this had even turned into an argument. She was certain that normal couple had communication issues, or argued about whose family they should spend the holidays with or whose turn it is to do certain chores, not, the limits of irony is performance art or Matty’s fear of and simultaneous desire for sincere self expression. The thing is, she knew that to their relationship, this is a communication issue. It was important to Matty that she be a fan of his artistic choices because his work is who he is. She often looked at what he did and saw him. Saw the way his mind works, how he feels about important parts of his life, what he’s proud of, what he’s afraid of, what he loves or hates, what he wants to change. She got to know him this way. To her, his inability to concede to her judgment wasn’t just a difference in aesthetic theory, it was an unwillingness to relinquish control over the argument. He wasn’t even trying to put himself in her shoes and see things her way. he felt attacked by her criticism of something that came directly from the depths of his mind and heart, and his response what to push back. She’s been lost in thought, so she had no idea when Matty had appeared in the living room doorway. His head cocked to the side, his gaze downcast. “Do- do you really think there isn’t enough honesty in the new show?” His tone was inquisitive now rather than accusatory. hesitantly, he walked towards her on the couch, one step at a time.

“the shows fine, Matty.” She looked right through him, at the wall behind him.

“it’s important to me that you like it.”

“I do. I like it.”

matty clicked his tongue. “Please, don’t be like that.”

She looked directly into his eyes, this time, and he could see her anger. “Like what, Matty? Supportive! I thought that’s all you wanted from your girlfriend. Well, here I am. Being supportive.”

He stopped inches away from her, dropping to his knees and hopping to be at eye level with her waist. He placed his hands into her lap, palms down, gripping the tops of her legs desperately. “I want- I need to - need you to be proud of me.” He rested his head against her knees, begging for physical intimacy to bridge the emotional gap that had formed like a chasm between them.

reluctantly, her hands found their way to his hair, caressing it lightly, a sign of compromise. Meeting in the middle. “I do want you to be supportive.” He spoke into her legs. “I’m being supportive. I’ll be supportive.”

He shook his head, his curls moving around her fingers. “No, not like that. I think- I think you were being supportive before. By pushing me to be better. I don’t want a cheerleader, I want you.” hid hand reached over his head and grabbed her wrist. “I love when you argue with me. Please never stop arguing with me.” Pulling his head off of her, he leaned over and kissed her hands. “Please promise me?”

[thequiver]

I'm a bug fan of your Revenant series! It's such a cool team 😁

One thing that struck me was that on learning the shadow king was back Lorna specifically asked for her brother and shot down seeing her father. She was even reluctant to tell Wanda what was happening until Pietro convinced her.

What was going on in her head at that moment and how do you feel about her respective relationships with her father and siblings (In the story and in cannon)

YESSSSSSSS I’ve been waiting for someone to ask this 🥰🥰🥰also thank you so much for enjoying Revenant, I have literally so much more of it to write (you have no idea this has gotten way out of control, this entire AU was created for a silly oneshot TerryLorna idea I had and I am STILL NOT EVEN AT A PLACE WHERE I CAN WRITE THE TERRYLORNA)....anyway this is about to be word vomit bc I have a LOT of thoughts

Okay so one of the big things here is that Lorna and Pietro have both had pivotal moments in their stories where they were mind controlled and made to do things that hurt people they cared about and neither of them really ever got a whole lot of support in recovering from that. And Pietro is, for all his faults, incredibly protective and incredibly loving of his sisters and while Lorna has spent a LOT of time pushing back against that protectiveness because she really and truly can handle herself and she and Pietro don't have that kind of history where he's seen her almost burned at the stake etc etc.... this is a moment where she wants someone to be ride or die in her corner and to be ride or die in her corner after it's all said and done even if she is controlled again...... and Pietro's fatal flaw is loyalty. She wanted someone who would come in and try to make it better even though there was nothing they could do, and she knew that if she called Pietro would come running. It's more an act of desperation than of familial love? But it's something that's really going to set the stage as the story progresses for how their relationship is going to evolve. We also know that Lorna is very afraid of seeming weak in front of her father- he has these grand expectations of her and when she doesn't meet his impossible standards she cracks under that weight and for as much as I love Erik and as much as I appreciate the steps he's taken to repair his relationship with her, being his daughter is not easy. And with Wanda, they arguably have the easier relationship within this group of siblings, where it really has become more genuinely sisterly and almost...dare I say? normal? But Wanda isn't really involved in X-Men stuff and hasn't really been to any grand extent barring her intro and M-Day (and much more recently Trial of Magneto)- her very presence on Krakoa is enough to inspire hatred and anger, with the Shadow King there Wanda as a first choice is probably not smart, and Wanda herself has so much baggage with mutantkind thanks to M-Day that it puts her in a weird position too.

I'm playing a lot with Wanda, Lorna, and Pietro's relationships with each other and with their father. I feel like Pietro is very underutilized and that he's not taken seriously by writers or by fans and so I really wanted to build on this Lorna-Pietro relationship that was starting to get established in All New X-Factor and to really kind of I guess force my readers to remember that Pietro isn't a bad guy? Which sounds stupid bc he's a hero but like people don't read for Pietro and take wildly ooc shit as fact. Like it's important to me that my readers know that it was Pietro who pushed for he and Wanda to leave the Brotherhood, and that Pietro tries so so so hard for his family and just wants to keep his sisters and daughter safe and that like he is a victim of much of the same trauma as Wanda and he's allowed to have responses to it without being whiny or having to get over it (no matter what Wanda said in Quicksilver: No Surrender).

But yeah, I have lots of Revenant thoughts, and feel free to dm me or send me asks about it anytime I love talking about it!

[skadream]

i was gonna delete this and move on but im bored so i'll take this seriously even tho it will somehow prove a point for the phobes

i think this chris fleming video sums up my thoughts on this question perfectly

i saw a tiktok from a trans man that nearly made me cry about how he didn't give a shit when transphobes say "you will always be a woman" but it hurt if someone were to say "you will always be a girl" because for him there is some truth to that statement. neither i nor this random dude online speak for all trans men, but for me this resonated a lot. i do not connect to womanhood at all, i enjoy many things that are perceived as feminine but to me those are things i enjoy as a man. however, girlhood and being a girl is something i do connect to a lot. maybe it's nostalgia or just the specifics of what many people who were assigned female have to go through in childhood? the specifics of my intersection of identities outside of genders? idk but it's not to do with liking or doing feminine things or being feminine.

i went to an all-girls school, i have three older sisters, i've kinda been surrounded by women my whole life and the number of men that i interact irl with that isnt family (thru blood or marriage or even longtime family friend) is very very small. and none of that makes me a girl but obviously that impacted my life greatly! like when i was questioning whether or not im trans i like, basically terfed myself into thinking i CANT be trans because i can be a woman and not shave or whatever, and i need to embrace my body as a woman's body etc and i did that! im still all about body positivity for women! but i just. never was one. it never worked. and i genuinely thought i must be a massive misogynist because i cant see myself embracing being a woman. (btw this was all self-targeted, i never felt this way about other trans men prob bc i just see them as. men.)

i felt like if i were to transition i would be doing a disservice to the me who was a little girl that had all these hopes for my future. i thought i could be nonbinary and genderfluid in my online life and be okay with being perceived as a gnc woman irl because thats what a feminist would do right. i had accepted more fluid labels long before ever considering myself a man, and i do still consider myself to be nb and genderfluid! but the first time someone assumed i was a man, something just clicked in my head. like oh. oh yeah this makes sense this is what i was missing. i dont feel so empty anymore, and not saying genderfluid/nonbinary people are empty but rather i felt empty so i identified with labels that could be nonspecific. now my fluidity is something i embrace not as emptiness but wholeness. like all these terms individually gets you some of the way there, and even all these terms together dont necessarily paint the full picture, but i've conveyed the idea to you well enough.

anyway i didnt answer the question LMAO so am i a girl? no not right now. hope this helps

[summercourtship]

Hi Kyra! this post will just be me commenting my favorite moments from this chapter ( it’s so funny bcs this IS my favorite chapter so far… to be fair, every chapter that you post becomes my new favorite chapter….) so don’t be surprised of how LONG this will be…

I ABSOLUTELY ADORED THE FIRST SCENE!!!! how could you think of not putting it in??? it’s SO GOOD!!!! i loved edward getting conflicted about telling his fantasies to the mc, only to say it anyway bcs she basically said: “pretty please with a cherry on top 🥺🥺🥺” and after it he even strokes her hair??!!?! what a man….

I want to congratulate you on the build up and immersion that you created when Jonathan was guiding us to the basement! Holy fuck! that was INSANE!!!! i was genuinely scared while reading it, like i knew that he wasn’t going to actually hurt us BUT STILL!!!! and him (angrily) taking his glasses off when talking about Bruce (like i have this gut feeling that he still holds a resentment to him for dancing with us) was TOP TIER!!! and jesus fucking christ i don’t even need to say the smut part of it all so fucking good… the small gestures of yearning that he did (that could -it is- be him manipulating us BUT WHO GIVES A FUCK?) the “have you missed this?” YEAH I DID!!! and i KNOW he did too!! you can’t fool me!!! everything about was just perfect… goes to show that Jonathan Crane is intoxicating…. that jerk…

Bruce Wayne is the people’s princess, he IS the ultimate damsel in distress, EVERYONE IS OUT TO GET THAT MAN!!! but seriously, the scene where the reader is deciding that she is going to betray Bruce and he just smiles at her and she realizes that SHE CAN’T HURT HIM!!!!! IT MELTED MY HEART ❤️ him being worried and still being there for her…. BRUCE NATION WE WON SO HARD WITH THE PECK IN THE ROOFTOP AND WE ARE GOING TO A PARTY WITH MISTER WAYNEEEEEE!!!!!! WHAAAAAT??!!! him asking was so funny and cute too!!!! i absolutely LOVE their dynamic!!!

Thank you so much kyra!!! thanks for sharing your amazing story! i know how personal they are! i don’t think you get thanked enough!!! i love your art, i love the passion you have for it… so yeah thanks!!!

ahh! thank you so much! I love getting these asks, I love hearing everyone's thoughts and analysis of what I've written it really makes my work feel appreciated!

I was very nervous that the first smut scene would feel unnecessary or OOC but decided that it didn't matter! I also don't really think there's going to be anymore Edward smut (in this fic, at least) so I wanted to treat you all to some more since a lot more people liked their dynamic than I thought would when I was planning the fic! He's sweet now but he is also... volatile.

Thank you! I was so excited to write the basement scene with Jonathan and I'm glad you all are enjoying it! Jonathan definitely doesn't like Bruce, the extent of which will be revealed slowly. I also loved writing the contrast between Jonathan's downright tender moments and the gross filthy stuff. Both of which are, indeed, ways he's trying to regain his control over the reader.

Bruce and the reader's relationship is FINALLY moving somewhere lmao. I know y'all have been SOOO patient. It is so funny to me, though, that the reader is like to Batman "please please protect Bruce!! he's a lil baby, he can't protect himself!" because girl.... that IS BRUCE. he'll be fine. It also adds another layer to their conversation that is, to me, delicious. I really enjoy dramatic irony, can you tell?

[fushigurro]

Hiii robin! If you're cool with it, I wanted to ask, is there a certain moment with your selfships when you realize you ship with them, or is it a slow process that just kinda happens?

hi romy!!!! ❤️

tbh it kinda depends and i'm not always totally sure LMAO i'm a little all over the place with it. like a lot of the time i have a hard time deciding and i'm trying to create a classification system in my head akfjofijwe tho it probably shouldn't be that deep my brain just loves to cling to systematization and gets frustrated when it can't properly execute it lmfao. but anyways i shall try my best collect my thoughts and describe how i perceive my tendencies!!

i'll put it below the cut bc i always ramble lolol

there are definitely some ships where it was more of a slow progression and i had to eventually be like "yeah okay this is what it is" because it was getting to the point where they weren't going to leave. i could easily envision more in-depth scenarios between them and myself and/or lore that just seemed to naturally spring up and i just kept thinking about them all the time.

i'd say megumi is a good example of the slow-burn. he honestly wasn't the kind of character that heavily struck me when i first watched the anime and started reading the manga; in fact, i recall being like "oh great, another little hateful emo boy" LOL (historically they're not usually the type i'm drawn to). but i got to know his character better over time and realized that like. damn. i have rather intense feelings about this guy adjewoijfwof

toji and jean were a bit more on the "slower" side of development as well i suppose. and not "slow" in the sense it took several months or years or anything (i've only been self-shipping for about a year) but it was something i had to ease into a bit more i guess.

i actually hated toji at first but then the daddy issues kicked into overdrive and i eventually started catching feelings LMFAO and jean was my first self-ship ever. he's the first one where i felt comfortable enough to imagine myself with someone like that <3 i hadn't really truly done anything like that in years, but i loved his character so much that i was starting to actually insert myself in reader stuff rather than completely detaching like i used to. i could see myself with him.

suga, on the other hand, was the kind that hit me like a freight train. maybe it's because i'm more comfortable with self-shipping now, but it was easier for me to realize it and take it to self-ship level pretty quickly. not only was i obsessed with him from pretty much the first fucking moment, but the subsequent relationship daydreams have been insane LOL i mean i gave it a little bit of time because i hate the idea of being overly impulsive and irrational due to infatuation but uh. i fucking love him lmao

katsuki is..... *sigh* idk. he also kind of hit me like a freight train, at least with the daydream scenarios and whatnot, and i was hoping and praying it was just a phase (still kind of am) but i guess i've sort of accepted that it's not. or it's at least a longer-lasting phase than most lol idk. but i can't stop thinking about him and i'd rather just go ahead and call it a self-ship instead of continuing to try and wait it out or deny it. the brainrot is bad

ANYWAYS sorry for being unable to shut the fuck up as per usual lmfao but yeah!!! i tried to give some examples of how this shit works in my mind. right now i guess i'm sort of organizing things by how regularly/consistently i think about a character over time and with what degree of ease i imagine myself with them in several scenarios, but this is by no means the sort of parameters i think everyone should use when it comes to this. people should do whatever the fuck they want i just take shit too seriously sometimes and wish i could be more chill actually instead of trying to create a classification system for everything in my brain 😃 but here we are

[nancywheelersgirlfriend]

Hi :) if requests are open, Steddie in which Steve try’s to put the legendary Harrington Charm on Eddie, but bc the Harrington Charm requires acting overly complimentary/kinda fake Eddie assumes Steve’s making fun of him (y’know, that type of bullying where someone’s like “oh wow is that your DND notebook? Soo cool :)” but then they go laugh at you behind your back).

Eddie gets pissed (understandably) and tells him to knock it off. Steve thinks Eddie hates him, Robin doesn’t know what to do, and finally Nancy of all people has to go to Eddie and be like. Sir, he is trying to fuck you- forgive him bc he is terrible at it. Also could end in a “all you had to do is be yourself” stupid fluffy moment :)

Even if you don’t get to this, I hope you like the concept, have a nice day :D !!

hello!! loved this request :) hope u enjoy! i love writing for the fruity four hehe

lonesome town (4,434 words)

Eddie’d seriously thought he was different. Why he’d let himself get tricked, he wasn’t sure. Maybe it was Robin’s insistence on the quality of her best friend. Or Nancy’s apparent unending forgiveness and love for a guy she’d had a fairly painful breakup with. Or Dustin’s younger brother syndrome, which made him talk his head off about the guy whenever Eddie was within six feet of him. Whichever it was, maybe a mix of the three (and an unspoken small crush on him), Eddie had deluded himself into thinking Steve Harrington wasn’t the world’s biggest douche. 

But he definitely was. ‘Cause here Eddie was, just trying to talk Robin about joining their summer campaign, when Steve suddenly leaned over the Family Video counter with a great, toothy smile on his face. Not that Eddie had seen it up close and personal before, but he recongized that smile - Steve had worn it near constantly in the hallways, padding after big-haired girls who he’d done something to upset. Why Eddie was now the subject of said fake-pitiful expression, he had no idea. But he didn’t like it. Or the shit it did to his stomach.

“Do you need something?” Eddie asked. Steve’s grin only worsened. His fingers reached out to tap at the pages Eddie had spread across the sticky purple counter - character sheets, story notes, all Robin asked to check out when he’d dropped her off the night before. Eddie held back a vicious snarl at the lack of personal space.

“I feel like I should be asking you that,” Steve replied cheekily. “What’s this? Dragons and Dungeons stuff?”

“It’s Dungeons and Dragons,” Eddie corrected, mentally steeling himself. He hadn’t gotten five seconds to take a breath before Steve Harrington, apparently, decided to go in on him for playing a so-called nerd game. As if his pseudo baby brother didn’t adore the same thing. 

“Right,” Steve said quickly, seemingly abashed. But was that pink trustworthy when it was paired with those eyes, that smile? Eddie leaned as far away from the counter as possible but Steve had him metaphorically trapped. “Anyway - what is all this stuff? Looks cool.” Eddie didn’t like the way he said the word ‘cool’. Not one fucking bit.

Steve said it in the way bullies tended to say that shit. Specifically one instance in eighth grade, when Eddie had been plotting out a campaign at lunch and Tommy H’s tiny shadow had cast its way over his table. He’d picked up a character sheet, turned his toad face to Eddie, and said: “This is so cool, Munson. Mind if I borrow it?” Eddie didn’t reply. The paper was in his hand - too late to protest now, anyway.

Except they’d also borrowed Eddie, because he ended up side-by-side with the character sheet, headfirst in the dumpster out by the teacher’s parking lot.

“Sure,” Eddie replied drily. Steve’s eyes, for a moment, flashed an ounce of surprise. Eddie fought the urge to gloat. Yeah - they weren’t in high school anymore. There were no more dumpsters he was gonna get thrown into, especially not by some peaked grad like Steve. Even if said grad was incredibly attractive. It honestly made Eddie trust him less; who can be that hot and also nice at the same time? It was physically impossible.

But the surprise was gone so fast Eddie nearly assumed he’d imagined it. The megawatt smile was back as Steve practically slobbered all over his hard work, probably just itching to rip it up or toss it in a trashcan or something equally meatheaded.

“Is this your character?” Steve asked, and if Eddie didn’t know any better he would’ve said there was some wonder in Steve’s voice. Eddie was quick to shoot out a hand and snatch the paper back from where it’d been able to enter Steve’s hand (his fingers were right on the edge). Steve’s head snapped up in confusion. It just made Eddie more infuriated. How could he be acting like this? “Alright.”

Eddie huffed, not bothering with words. He folded up the character sheet (carefully avoiding too strong of a crease) and tucked it in his back pocket, away from grabbing hands or drooling jocks. When he looked back up from where he’d been folding it, he realized with distant horror that Steve had retrieved his Player’s Handbook from the bottom of the stack and was now flipping through it.

“What are you doing with that?” Eddie asked, embarrassed he sounded so desperate. But they were expensive. And he did not need to spend his afternoon as a fully twenty-year-old man fishing some book from a dumpster.

“Reading,” Steve said. Eddie could’ve killed him.

“Like you know how to,” Eddie muttered. He could practically hear the blood rushing through his ears when Steve laughed. As if they were sharing a joke - no, worse. As if Eddie was the joke. 

“Who’s this?” Steve asked, flipping around the book and pointing at a dwarf. “He looks cute.”

“Cute?” Eddie mimicked. Steve’s face gave nothing away. His meat fingers (okay - maybe they weren’t meat, they were actually pretty nice and tan from the summer sun, but that’s beside the point) flipped to the next page. He laughed again, this time at a little drawing of a dwarf and elf next to each other.

“Did you draw these?” Steve asked. Eddie’d had enough.

“Are you a fucking idiot?” Eddie replied sharply. Steve looked up slowly from the book. Now the previous confusion soaked on his features, faltering that dumb megawhatt smile. Some irrational, unevolved part of Eddie’s brain felt guilty. The rest took pride in defeating him at his own game. Eddie lunged over the counter, grabbing the book from Steve’s hands and back into the safety of his own before anything rash could happen.

“Is there something wrong, dude?” Steve asked, puppy-dog mode fully activated. Eddie resisted the urge to slap him. Instead he quickly collected his shit, pulling it to his chest as protectively as possible - Handbook included.

“You’re a piece of shit, you know that?” Eddie snapped. “I know I’m a freak. Jesus, I really thought you were better than this. Egg on my fuckin’ face, right?” With that and a shake of his head, he was storming out of Family Video; nearly barreling over a mom and child scouring the Animated section in the process. What a fool he’d been.

*

Steve stood slackjawed at the Family Video counter, utterly stumped. What the fuck had just happened?

“Close your mouth, you’re catching flies,” Robin popped up behind him, choosing possibly the worst moment to come back from helping some old lady find Milo and Otis and join him at the counter. “Hey - where’s Ed?” Steve clamped his mouth shut and blinked. 

“He left,” Steve said after a pregnant pause, still standing around like an idiot and staring through the glass front doors where Eddie had been at mere seconds before. The van peeled out of the parking lot like it was being chased by some big, hungry animal. 

“Why?” Robin asked, following his line of sight into the now Eddie-less store. “He was gonna explain how to make a D&D character to me - I told him to wait.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed distantly. He could feel Robin’s beady little gaze hitting the side of his face, soaked with confusion and judgement.

“What’d you do?” She asked, and he rushed to speak at the same time:

“I didn’t do anything!”

They stared each other down for a beat, two, before Steve sighed and practically collapsed onto the counter. 

“Okay, so, I think I did something,” Steve amended. Robin’s responding groan was long and dramatic. “I said I think. It was very confusing.”

“It’s a shock you’re thinking at all,” Robin mumbled under her breath, but her hand came up to rub comfortingly on his back all the same. “What happened?”

“I was just trying to, um. Do what you told me to do,” Steve rushed out in one breath. He lifted his head into his hands, if only to cover the tips of his ears (which were rushing to turn red). 

“What I told you…” Robin repeated, thinking hard. Then she gasped in understanding and suddenly her face was pressed close beside his. She was hanging over the counter the same as him with a crooked, teasing grin spilting across her face. “You were flirting with him?”

“Jesus, scream it, would you?” He snapped in reply, face now a furious red. Robin’s grin only grew.

“And your flirting made him storm out,” Robin continued. The calming hand turned into an annoying, poking finger - digging into the small of his back and making him straighten up fast. “That’s fucking hilarious. That’s so funny.”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Steve muttered, rolling his eyes. “I have no fucking idea what I did wrong.” 

“Can I check this out?” A young boy held up a VHS copy of The Long, Long Trailer. Robin held up a hand to his face, not bothering to address him or even cast a glance in his direction. Yeah, they were probably gonna get fired.

“Give me a play-by-play,” She commanded. Steve stepped back until his spine hit the counter. He leaned up on his elbows and swallowed down his raging embarrassment.

“I tried to ask questions about, um. Dungeons and Dragons,” He said, remembering the name at the last possible second and snapping excitedly. “‘Cause he had all that shit out. I wanted him to think I was cultured and interesting.”

“Because that’s the vibe you give off,” Robin agreed. He pretended not to hear the dripping sarcasm.

“But then he was just, like, really rude to me about it, and said-” Steve cut himself off, remembering how much his stomach had dropped at Eddie’s last words. “He called me a piece of shit. Said that he ‘already knew he was a freak’ and that he thought I was different.” He looked up from where he’d been tracing the pattern on the carpet with the toe of his sneakers to see Robin with a similarly stunned expression on her face. Maybe it’d been a poor choice going to her for advice - they shared brains and IQs. What the hell was she gonna know?

“Woah,” Was all Robin said.

“Can I please check this out?” The kid waved the VHS tape in Steve’s face, who coughed himself back into the present and managed a half-assed nod. As Steve went through the normal song-and-dance of instructing the kid on the renting rules and handing over his quarter in change, Robin tapped out a little pattern on the counter. When he finally got another chance to look back at her, she looked completely stumped.

“Woah,” Robin said again.

“He hates me,” Steve lamented, hanging his head and letting his hair hang down, limp and sad, in front of his eyes. “I have no idea what I did but I must’ve done something.”

“You must’ve,” Robin agreed distantly. “But what?”

“That’s what I’m asking you!” Steve nearly shouted, voice going up a humiliating set of octaves. Robin hummed and turned back to the awaiting stack of VHS tapes, ready to be marked down.

Steve spent the next hour pretending to rewind tapes and instead drowning in self-pity. It was pretty bad, even for him. Somehow he’d managed to make Eddie hate him in a thirty second interaction. That had to be some kind of record. Maybe he’d totally misread their previous friendship - conversations through the windows of their cars while dropping the kids off, pressed shoulder-to-shoulder at some crowded Party gettogether, sharing a cigarette out on Steve’s front porch. He really thought he was getting somewhere, with somebody who understood him. 

“You know, Steve, I’m pretty sure Japan can hear you sighing at this point,” Robin spoke up from her spot on the opposite end of the store, where she was unpackaging at Highlander display to be set up at the front window. Steve just sighed again, this time a little longer and louder for her benefit. He leaned forward until his nose hit the top of the boxset and rested the side of his head against the top. It buzzed beneath him. God, he was such a fucking idiot.

“God, I’m such a fucking idiot,” He said, because he knew Robin would agree.

“Here’s my perfect idea,” She said, suddenly two inches away from him on the other side of the television and wearing that dumb grin again. Steve leapt about a foot away. He’d been jumpy ever since, uh. Between demogorgon attack 2 and 3, for sure. “You should talk to Nancy.”

“Talk to my ex-girlfriend about Eddie?” Steve repeated, making sure to put emphasis on the ‘ex-girlfriend’ part. Yeah, he loved Nance - not like that - and she loved him. Didn’t mean they were healed enough to start chatting about other romantic interests. 

“She’s, like, the smartest person I know,” Robin protested. He ignored the spaced out look in her eyes when she said that.

“No, I-” Steve waved her off, turning around to head back into the Employee’s Only kitchen. “I’m not gonna do that. I’ll just let it simmer and die, and then I’ll die.”

“You are such a drama queen,” Robin replied, rolling her eyes exaggeratedly. “If you don’t talk to Nance, then I’ll do it for you.”

“Should’ve expected it, you guys share a fucking brain at this point,” Steve got out, before he shut the door to the employee’s room and effectively disappeared to mope for the rest of his shift.

*

“What?”

Robin closed her eyes and pressed the receiver closer to her face, as if it was actually Nancy and not just Nancy’s voice coming from fifteen miles away. 

“Steve and Eddie are being idiots,” She hissed, albeit a little louder than the first time.

“That’s what I thought you said.”

“I need your help,” Robin added, waving her arm in a fast, circular motion as if Nancy could see it. Around her Family Video died a quiet death - night shifts were the worst. “I think I can hear Steve crying in the break room.” Alright, that was an exaggeration. But not a big one. He was definitely sniffling a little.

“What’d happened this time?”

“Eddie stopped by to show me the D&D basics, but fuckin’ Mrs. Westbrook caught me in her death grip and forced me to find this stupid movie about a cat, or something. By the time I got back to the counter he was peeling out of the parking lot and Steve looked like a dog that’d just gotten kicked in the fucking face,” Robin explained in a long-winded breath, her go-to way for relying information. Nancy, bless her, was unfazed. She was used to it at this point.

“Do you know any details?”

“Steve’d tried to ask him some questions about it,” Robin said, racking her breath to remember exactly what Steve’d said. See, this is why shit never got done in their friend group. Information was relayed like a game of telephone. Still she tried her best. “And apparently, as Eddie was storming out, he’d said that he’d thought Steve was different - or better than that, something along those lines.” Nancy hummed. Robin twisted the phone cord around her finger tight enough to sting, just so that she could recover a little from the low tones of Nancy’s voice. 

“I think I know what happened,” Nancy finally said. Robin could practically hear her connecting red-yarn dots in her mind and it made her want to scream into her shirt. Instead she grinned excitedly and took a deep breath.

“Thank God, I have no clue,” Robin admitted with a little, bashful laugh.

“I’ll stop by Ed’s tomorrow,” Nancy offered. “I’ll fix it, don’t worry.”

“Steve and I have work here tomorrow,” Robin reminded her. “In case he has to do some sort of grand, romantic confession.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it. Night, Robin.”

“Goodnight, Nance,” Robin rushed out in an embarrassing whisper/whimper. As Nancy clicked the receiver back into its holder and the line went dead, she grimaced for herself. First step: get Steve to stop making an utter fool out of himself. And then, maybe he when figured that out, he could help her figure it out too.

*

Eddie woke up from his hate-fueled nap passed out on the motel couch by a rapping at his front door. Groggily he squinted in the vague direction of the alarm clock - it blinked a dull two. Two in the morning? The afternoon? He had no clue. Judging by the sunlight peeking through the blinds, he guessed it was the latter.

“I’m asleep,” He called out, voice faltering from his exhaustion. 

“Eddie, get your ass out here,” Nancy Wheeler said on the other side. And damn - she was the one in charge. Who was he not to listen to her?

She stood outside the door and waited, tapping her flat-covered foot onto the broken pavement and listening to him practically tear apart the motel room in search for a relatively clean pair of jeans. When the jeans were finally located, Eddie opened the door thankfully clothed and face excited to see her.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Lady Wheeler?” He greeted, leaning on the doorway with his permanently leather-jacketed arm (despite it being in the mid-80s). Nancy couldn’t help but smile a little at his dorky way of talking but she tried to roll her eyes to cover it up.

“I heard you and Steve got into a little fight yesterday,” Nancy said. Eddie’s arm immediately fell from the doorway as he let out a loud groan, stepping back into the motel room. Nancy took that as silent invitation to let herself in, plopping herself down on the bed closest to the door.

“Did he send you to apologize for him?” Eddie asked incredously, back now turned to her and face resolute in the shitty motel mirror. Nancy shrugged.

“Kind of?” Nancy replied, voice tilting in a question. “Robin sent me to apologize on his behalf because currently he’s crying. Or, I think so. She was unclear on that part.”

“He’s crying?” Eddie asked, laughing in shock.

“Whatever happened really got under his skin,” Nancy allowed. “Again, whether or not he was crying - I have no idea.”

“He’s crying,” Eddie decided. Nancy let him, watching with fond eyes as he began to pace back and forth in front of her. “Do you know what happened?”

“I know what Robin knows about what happened.” 

“God, you guys are annoying,” He rolled his eyes. “Steve was making fun of me. I shouldn’t be expected to put up with that.”

“Making fun of you?” Nancy repeated. And then she was laughing, practically bending over at the waist from the force of her giggles. Eddie stopped in his tracks, confusion splattered across his face. When she came back up, rubbing at her mouth and desperately trying to stop herself from completely collapsing, he could see tears in her eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asked out of genuine concern.

“You both are complete idiots,” Nancy said, having pulled herself together. Her face was stern again, as it tended to be. “He wasn’t making fun of you. He was flirting with you.” Eddie’s jaw made a thudding noise when it felt to the ground. Nancy looked severely unimpressed.

“Are you kidding?” Eddie asked, holding up a hand in front of him protectively.

“Why on earth would I be?” Nancy retorted. He had no proper answer. “Steve’s an idiot. He doesn’t know how to flirt like an actual human being and not like an ape, so he did what he knew best.” Eddie paused, rethinking that conversation from the day before. 

Steve’s pearly-white grin. His sudden interest in a game he’d been teasing Dustin about for years. His overennuciation and enthusiasm for the conversation. It hit like a freight train.

Eddie crashed onto the bed, nearly knocking Nancy over from the force of his tumble. He fell back onto the mattress, staring up at the popcorn ceiling and letting his brain spin around like a record.

“And you’re not kidding?” Eddie asked again, just to make sure.

“Ask him yourself,” Nancy offered. He looked up, chin to chest, to see her wiggling her car keys out to her side like a red cape to a bull. She knew him too well.

*

The off-pitch bell attached to the front door of the Family Video jingled but Steve didn’t look up from where he’d slumped himself halfway over the counter. Robin was staring, open-mouthed, at whatever morning movie she’d put on the boxset - completely out of it. It was hard to blame her - who was coming in to rent a movie at two on a Wednesday?

“Shit, Steve,” Robin gasped, finally having glanced up. She slapped at his back once, twice for good measure. He stood up and glared at her, rubbing at his sweater.

“Welcome to Family Video, how-” He cut himself off, utterly stunned to see Eddie meeting his eye. Slightly less surprised to see Nancy behind him, watching the interaction with bated breath. “Uh, hey. Ed. Hey.”

“Hi,” Eddie said, and this was the most awkward conversation Steve’d ever had. “Um. Can we talk?”

“Away from this crowd? Good idea,” Steve joked, gesturing to the empty store. Eddie’s lips twitched before he was walking to the opposite end of the counter, back towards the door to the Employee’s Only room. Steve followed dutifully because he was learning he’d follow Eddie anywhere. Though the girls were silent, he knew they were communicating telepathically behind them.

“Look, uh,” Eddie began, a nervous twinge to his voice. He picked at his pointer fingernail absently. “Nancy told me something this morning that, um. Maybe makes me feel a little bad for the way I acted yesterday.”

“No, wait-” Steve held out a hand. Clearly the sharp movement took Eddie by surprise, because he was looking up from his nail and back into Steve’s eyes and - wow. Steve nearly forgot what he was going to say. “I should be the one apologizing. I made you really, really upset, Ed. I’m sorry.”

“You-” Eddie snorted, shaking his head. “God. You’re so perfect it makes me sick.”

“Sorry?” Steve said. He knew he had to be blushing like a fool.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Eddie finished his previous sentence. “I misread the conversation.”

“Yeah, but clearly I also did something,” Steve protested. “Just because I don’t know what I did doesn’t mean I didn’t do something wrong. So: I’m sorry.”

“You’re both sorry, get on with it!” Robin called out from behind them. At Steve’s bristled glare, she deflated a little and sent him an encouraging thumbs-up.

“Sorry about the peanut gallery,” Steve muttered as he returned to Eddie.

“Nancy told me that you weren’t making fun of me,” Eddie restarted his previous speech, but Steve held up another hand to stop him.

“You thought I was making fun of you?” Steve repeated. His big puppy-dog eyes looked so utterly pitiful and sad. “Jesus, Eddie, I - no wonder you reacted the way you did.”

“Your old pal Tommy H pulled the same trick on me in middle school,” Eddie explained hesitantly. “It’s, like, the oldest trick in the Book of Asshole. You pretend to be interested to earn their trust or make fun of them behind their back.”

“Ed, I’d never do that to you,” Steve promised. His face was open and genuine. “I swear. I’d never dream of it.”

“Yeah, well, I’m getting that now,” Eddie agreed under his breath, an embarrassed blush spreading across his face and down his neck. “But I didn’t yesterday. Now I get what you were trying to do.” Steve’s mouth dropped open a little. It was his turn to blush, bright and red and mortified.

“Um. What I was trying to do?” Steve squeaked. Eddie’s lips quirked up just slightly. He supposed that was the proof he needed.

“That you were trying to flirt with me,” Eddie explained, as if it were obvious. Steve blinked his wide, gaping eyes. He swallowed tightly.

“Right,” Steve agreed. “Um. And you’re cool with that?” Eddie snorted again and wiped a hand down his face, unable to fully tamper down his grin.

“Steve Harrington, you are complete and utter doofus,” Eddie informed him. “And you are incapable of reading social cues, apparently.” Steve squinted his eyes playfully.

“I’m sensing a but in there,” He said gleefully. He couldn’t stop the corresponding butterflies at seeing Eddie’s full grin, all crooked teeth and perfect lips. “I’m hoping there’s a but in there.”

“Mine or yours?” Eddie asked. Steve watched as his eyes dropped to Steve’s lips. “You’re lucky my type is absolute dumbasses.”

“I am very lucky,” Steve agreed. He threw one last passive glance around the store but his hand was already reaching out to yank on Eddie’s shirt collar and pull him in. Their lips collided and it tasted like salt. Like harsh cologne. Eddie’s arms wound their way around Steve’s neck fast, fingers pulling apart his styled hair.

“Stop making out on the clock,” Robin shouted from her snooping place on the opposite end of the counter. Steve felt something harsh hit the side of his head. He grimaced and pulled reluctantly away from a pinked Eddie, who was grinning like a fool.

“Did you throw a VHS at me?” Steve asked, glancing down at the floor to check the offending title - This is Spinal Tap. “See if I ever do anything for you again.”

“You could’ve given him another concussion,” Eddie added. “His punch card’s nearly full at this point, you don’t wanna give him another one.”

“Why did we work so hard to get you two together, again?” Nancy asked from her place beside Robin, leaning on her fist and smirking obnoxiously. She and Robin high-fived. Steve shook his head and rolled his eyes, returning his gaze to Eddie.

“So, you uh. You looking to check out anything?” Steve asked. Eddie’s gaze raked along his body as if Steve was some Michangelo statue. He bit his lip, but the bright smile broke through anyway

“Yeah, I am,” Eddie admitted, pleased to see Steve’s bashful reaction. “But, real talk: Are you seriously interested in learning about Dungeons & Dragons?”

“I like the funky little drawings,” Steve admitted. But it was mainly just to see Eddie’s grin again. And, as Eddie pulled out his books and papers and all that shit, so that he could practice his flirting skills a little more. Clearly they needed a little work.

[vamossainz55]

Moonlight Ch. 4 | Carlos Sainz Jr. x Reader

hey guys! this is long overdue i know but here is chapter 4. if i'm fully honest i am not too proud of this one, i feel like something's a bit off in the writing? (i cant tell what though). i tried fixing it a few times but im not too sure how to either. i promise the next few chapters will be better. a lot is going on and there's a lot of development so i hope you enjoy <33 (its also a bit longer than usual). anyways superproud of carlos' race yesterday bc the ferrari was not giving and happy to see him in the podium again as always constructive criticism is always appreciated <3

warnings: maybe swearing and alcohol consumption? that's about it.

enjoy! <3

read chapter 3 here

Chapter Four (5.3k words)

Whatever little hope you had of you and Carlos peacefully coexisting dwindled down the moment he had left you in the room. It was embarrassing but the moment you stepped out you had rushed to the bathroom, feeling a weird twisting feeling pulling at your chest. 

You had locked the door behind you as soon as you entered the bathroom stall, sitting on the closed toilet lid as you tried to take a deep breath. Get it together. You think to yourself, slowly wiping at your cheeks when you feel them get wet. 

You didn’t know what you had expected from that conversation but it definitely wasn’t what had unfolded. A part of you knew Carlos was right, you could’ve reached out to him, but a part of you was also angry. 

The words you had told him keep ringing in your ears, and yeah it was true. You weren’t friends. But seeing the way Carlos’ demeanor changed had you feeling sick. 

Carlos does take your words seriously though because the next few days it’s clear that he’s trying to drive you insane. It’s petty little things, like taking the seat you were sitting in and making you move, closing the elevator door on you, or even giving you the wrong time for meetings or confusing information. 

The first few times are fine but you feel anger and annoyance begin to bubble inside of you and you find your own way of retaliation. You mess up with his papers, hand him the wrong specs, tell him the wrong meeting room. Anything you could think of really. 

It’s petty and you feel like you’re ten again but you can’t deny the little feeling of satisfaction whenever you get back at him. It’s amazing how you both manage to sabotage one another to the point where you’re both at wit's ends but still manage to successfully work. 

It had been a week or two since you and Carlos had started to mess with each other and you’re rushing to your last meeting of the week, only having noticed that you had it since Carlos had scheduled you in only three minutes beforehand, but you’re used to it really, only apologizing to Tom when you enter the room. 

You pause for a bit when you realize it‘s only you three there but you find time to discreetly give Carlos an annoyed look before you're sitting with them at the table.

“Sorry- I hate to be the person to add a late meeting on a Friday but I actually wanted to run some things with Carlos and thought you could help with the notes?” Tom asks and you can’t help but hold back a sigh. 

“Yeah, of course.” You say, pulling up your laptop before Tom pulls up some data on his own to show Carlos. The first few minutes pass by quickly but soon enough you’re closely listening to their discussion, frowning when you hear Tom disagree with Carlos’ point on the break. You don’t mean to talk but before you know it you’re butting in. 

“I think Carlos is right on this one.” You say quietly and they both give you a look. You chew the inside of your cheek before you’re pulling some of your own papers, pointing to some numbers. Carlos is quiet, a puzzled look flashing on his face but you just simply shrug at him when Tom looks over the data. Work is work and you weren’t going to sabotage that for him. 

It becomes a thing when Tom starts inviting you to join most of his one on ones with Carlos and it is never discussed but the dynamic slightly shifts. Sure there were still some comments here and there but overall things with Carlos do get better. You even share a smile or two with him when Tom seems to make a mistake, but getting along with Carlos was still reserved for only those moments. 

Reality always slapped you in the face whenever both of you would randomly revert into snarky remarks whenever you weren’t discussing a track, statistics, and the car. Silence was the worst though, and it mainly happened whenever you both arrived first to the room, deciding to sit as far as possible and fiddle on your phones until Tom would arrive, unknowingly breaking the tension. 

You had just finished a two hour meeting with Tom, Carlos, and Peter, one of the other engineers in the team when you feel your stomach churn, feeling hungrier than usual especially since you had overslept and missed breakfast. Tom is already rushing to another meeting, quickly saying bye to you all and you take your time to get up.

“Wanna grab lunch?” Carlos asks and you look up a bit surprised. You’re about to answer when you realize he isn’t directing his question to you. He gives you a tight lipped smile before turning to Peter and his back is slightly facing you as a clear sign of no you’re not invited and you can’t help but sigh when Peter easily agrees before grabbing his things and getting up. Carlos doesn’t spare much of a look towards your direction before he’s heading off with him and you feel a slight prickle at your chest. 

The past few weeks had been tough as you hadn’t managed to connect with many people in the company. Sure you had a chat with some here and there but it was difficult to connect with many of them as everyone was so busy and they only talked about work really. You were also one of the younger ones and although you were getting more and more involved you still felt like most of them didn’t take you seriously (the price of being an intern really). 

You take this moment to check your watch, deciding to grab some lunch anyways as you were feeling quite hungry and you didn’t wanna let your stomach complain further. You head to the cafeteria, smiling and giving some people that you knew a small wave.

The menu in the cafeteria has your stomach growling louder. One of the best things of working in a lucrative Formula One team is that they did in fact know how to treat their employees. There was always a wide variety of options of food, from meat, to gluten-free, carb free and even vegan. The options were limitless and you always ended up wandering a bit too much around the cafeteria as you tried to figure out what you were gonna use as fuel for the day. 

“Heard the salmon and rice is good,” You hear someone say and you curiously turn around to find Lando holding his own tray of food that looks suspiciously like the pizza that was offered at the corner of the cafeteria. 

“Aren’t you supposed to have your own food?” You ask curiously, remembering how Carlos had complained to another colleague that he couldn’t always just pick at something in the cafeteria. And yeah, you realize that this was probably not the best opening introduction to a new and upcoming Formula One driver but what was done was done. 

Lando simply snorts and rolls his eyes. “As long as you don’t tell anyone it’s fine.” He says, giving you a shrug before continuing to watch you. It takes you a minute to realize that he’s staring because he’s waiting, and you sheepishly grab the salmon and rice. 

“Per-fect, let’s go.” He says before turning to go sit at one of the tables. You follow him, still a bit confused at how you got yourself into this situation, but having lunch with Lando wasn’t going to hurt. 

“I’m y/n by the way, not sure if you remember?” You say once you’re both seated. Lando is already picking up his pizza and taking a hefty bite, nodding as he chews and covers his mouth. You take this moment to grab a spoonful of your food. 

“Yeah yeah, I remember. I'm Lando,” He says and you can’t help but roll your eyes at that with a smile on your lips. He gives you a confused look, raising his eyebrows at you as he takes a sip of his water. 

“I mean, I just found it funny that you felt the need to introduce yourself. I know you’re Lando.” You say and Lando gives you a nonchalant shrug as he puts his cup down. 

“Fair, but I mean I knew you were y/n already. You and Carlos know eachother” He says before taking another bite of his pizza. You have to set your spoon back down to look at him, not entirely sure if you had heard him right. For a second you wondered how much Carlos had told Lando.

You shift a bit in your seat and look around the cafeteria, soon spotting Carlos sitting at the table with Peter and he is looking at you both. He doesn’t even look away when your eyes meet and you’re the one that needs to crack as Lando clears his throat to catch your attention. 

“I just wanted to properly talk with you since it was in passing last time. I think we are one of the youngest ones here.” He says with a shrug, “But also I want to let you know whatever issue you have with Carlos, I don’t care.” He says with a shrug before smiling. “So if you need anything please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.” It sounds sincere and you can’t help but smile small at him, a bit embarrassed that he felt like he needed to make it clear.

“Thanks, it’s really not that deep. It’s fine.” You say to Lando reassuringly although you’re quite touched by the gesture. You had noticed that Carlos had been very proactive to know everyone no matter what department they were from, always happy to talk about the car, the development, and strategy. On the other hand Carlos barely ever gave you the light of day. It’s not like you could blame him really, the boundaries were clear when you had started. Even though you knew this it still sucked a bit to see everyone connecting with him whilst you both had to be forced to interact. 

“How much do you know?” You ask curiously, collecting more food with your sooon. 

“Just enough I guess.” Lando says and you bite back your tongue to not ask him for more information. “Although if we are friends you need to do me a favour.” Lando says, leaning closer to make sure you hear him. “You might have to sneak me a snack or two.” He murmurs. You feel Carlos’ eyes burning into you both but it doesn't faze you. You simply grin and nod. 

“Deal.” You agree, giving his hand a shake to seal it. 

____________________

Lando apparently did take the offer of being friends seriously because the next time he sees you in the cafeteria he invites you to join. It would’ve been a lot nicer if he wasn’t sitting next to a very awkward looking Carlos who clearly did not want you to join the table. You try your best to pretend to not hear him but it becomes ten times harder when Lando just raises his voice asking, “Do you wanna join?” You give another go at ignoring him but you stop in your tracks when you hear him say your name. 

“Y/n? Come sit with us.” It’s extra loud this time, and it is far enough that a few people are looking in your direction before shifting their eyes to Lando and Carlos who were sitting at their reserved drivers table. You give Lando and Carlos a smile before nodding and heading to their table, letting out a breath once everyone looks away. 

“If you didn’t wanna join you could’ve just said so,” Carlos says, taking a sip of his coffee and you roll your eyes. 

“You could’ve at least pretended to look like you wanted me here,” You snark back but Lando snaps his fingers to catch both of your attentions. 

“No arguing please/ We’re here for lunch.” He says. You set your tray down on the booth and look at them both. You think about sliding next to Lando but you see him sitting right at the edge so before giving it a second thought you slide into the booth next to Carlos, legs brushing lightly as you settle in the seat. Carlos doesn’t have much of a choice, simply shifting a bit to give you more space. 

“How are you guys?” You ask to the table as a way to ease the tension radiating off of Carlos. Lando is the first one to answer, rattling about how his home simulator was experiencing some glitches and how he had to call his brother over to fix some things. You nod along, setting your phone down after taking a look at the time to check for your next meeting. 

You turn a bit to Carlos, “And Carlos, how are you?” you ask as cordially as possible before taking a bite of your sandwich. Carlos shifts a bit to face you too, his eyes are looking around the way they always do when he is thinking and his hands are fiddling with his bracelet. 

“I’m fine. Excited for the weekend.” He says, looking over from you to Lando. It looks like he’s deliberating on telling you more or not but you see Lando shift and hear a small “Ay” from Carlos that helps you assume he had just gotten kicked. It’s not much but it is apparently enough to get Carlos to share more. 

“I just told Lando that one of my sisters is coming over this weekend” He says and your lips twitch to a smile, you had spent a lot of time with Carlos’ family when growing up and you hadn’t heard much of them in ages. One of the hardest things after the break up was saying goodbye to them too. 

“Ah really? Ana or Blanca?” You can’t help but ask. Carlos looks at you for a second, as if he was surprised that you remembered them both by name. 

“Ana actually,” Carlos says and you give him a small nod. 

“That’s cool. Tell her I said hi,” You say with a smile, going to take another bite of your food. You can feel Carlos’ eyes on you and there is a small lull in the conversation before Carlos is speaking up again. It takes you a moment to realize he’s directing the question at you, eyes still on you. 

“How are you?” He asks. It’s embarrassing but you feel a certain pressure release from your chest. It had been the first time Carlos was directing a proper conversation towards you. 

“I’m alright. Struggling a bit I guess?” You say truthfully, and you aren’t the type to share but before you know it you’re spilling a bit more than intended. “I haven't had the best time connecting with people, and I don’t really have friends outside of work at the moment .” You say truthfully, suddenly not wanting to look at them in the eyes, feeling embarrassed. 

“Ah- that’s nothing to worry about. You just need to go out a little. We can always do something. I told you, we’re friends now.”  Lando says and you let out a small laugh, his kindness warming your cheeks. 

“Of course, yeah. We’re friends” You laugh before nodding. “Okay, I might just take you up for it,” You say before the topic shifts to golf. You simply rest your chin in your palm, quietly listening to the two guys planning their next outing. 

___________________

To your surprise the driver that invites you out isn’t Lando, but it’s Carlos. It happens when you’re both having lunch together the next week, Lando having made it a tradition for you all to eat together.

The first few times were awkward but soon enough you and Carlos have small conversations here and there although Lando would clearly be the one talking with you both more. 

“You want me to what?” You ask Carlos, mainly in disbelief. He had briefly mentioned his plans with Ana to go to the city center to go shopping and he had looked over your direction, asking you if you wanted to join some time in the evening. 

“I told Ana you were here when she arrived and that you said hi and before I knew it she had a whole day out planned and you’re invited for dinner.” Carlos says quite sheepishly. “I tried saying no but-”

“Yeah, yeah. Ana never takes no for an answer.” You say, rolling your eyes fondly at her, a memory popping up in your head. “Remember that time she came with us to the cinema? You had told her not to come with us but she showed up anyway with a ticket.” You say without thinking, letting out a soft laugh. 

“Oh my god, yes. I haven’t let that one go yet.” Carlos says, letting out a proper laugh. 

“She did that?” Lando asks and you both nod.

“She’s always been like that. I think she crashed our first proper date too.” Carlos says with a chuckle, smiling before taking a sip of water. Your mind still lingers at the question and you find yourself giving him a small nudge, getting him to look over you. 

“I don’t mind showing up to see Ana but you can also tell her I don’t really want to join if you know, you aren’t very comfortable.” You say, already expecting him to take up your offer but he surprises you by shaking his head. 

“I think it’s fine, she’s missed you a lot actually. Could be nice, no?” Carlos says and you look at him for a moment before nodding. 

“Yeah, yeah. When does she want to go out?” You ask, still a bit stunned. Carlos hums before opening his phone to check his calendar. He pinches his bottom lip with his fingers as he scrolls through his schedule before turning it to show you.

“I think she said Friday evening.” He says and you’re leaning a bit closer to look at the time before giving a nod. 

“I can do that,” You say, looking over at Lando when he begins complaining about you both ignoring him and you can’t help but snort when Carlos steals his hat from him. 

The week passes by quickly and Carlos and you begin to talk a lot more in the office. The awkward lulls and silences aren’t really there. Even Tom notices, making a few off hand comments about the both of you looking more cheery but both just shrug and brush it off. 

“So we’ll pick you up at seven, is that okay?” Carlos asks once Tom is heading to his next meeting. You’re slowly tidying your things up, sending Bastien a quick text before you’re looking up at him. 

“Seven sounds good. Do you need my address?” You ask and Carlos nods, offering his hand out before nodding at your phone. You hand it over to him and watch him put in what you assume to be his number. 

“Just text me the address.” He says, picking up his things and you nod, quickly saving his number before grabbing your bag. “See you later.”

You get home a bit before six and you quickly go shower and change. There is a wave of excitement washing over you at the idea of going out. The past month you had been cooped up in your small apartment, and sure you had gone out by yourself every once in a while but you hadn’t gone out with anybody since you had gotten there. You mainly just stayed at home, watching shows, face timing Bastien or talking a bit with your sister sometimes. 

You’re ready thirty minutes early and decide to give Bastaan a quick call before leaving. You fix your hair a bit before holding your phone properly in front of your face, waiting for him to pick up. 

“Hi baby,” He says with a smile once the line connects. He’s laying on the bed, shirt off. You squint a bit as you look over the screen as you fix your hair a bit more.  

“Hi my love. You’re in bed?” You ask curiously, leaning back onto the couch. There is a bit of shifting before he shakes his head. 

“Not feeling too well so I took a day off today. Are you still going out tonight with Carlos and his sister?” He asks and you give him a nod. If you were being honest you had been quite nervous to tell Bastien about it, but as always he was supportive, even encouraging you to go out. He never told you but you knew he was a bit worried about you being alone too much. “What are the plans?” 

“I think just dinner and maybe drinks? I haven’t seen her in so long- there’s a lot to catch up on.” You say with a smile. There’s a faint sound of a door opening and you see Bastien's eyes shift. He speaks a bit in french before looking back at you.

“I need to go baby, my mother is over for dinner” He says and you give him a nod and a smile. “I love you, have fun and let me know when you get home” he says, sending you a kiss. 

“I love you too, tell her I say hi.” You say with a smile, letting him hang up. 

Twenty minutes later you’re heading downstairs, smiling when you see Carlos and Ana in the car right in front of the lobby. You quickly slip out, waving at them as Ana gets out of the car. 

“Y/N oh my god. It’s been so long.” She says before she’s engulfing you in a hug. You smile as you hug her back, letting out a soft breath as you do so. Once she pulls away you take a small step back to look over her, smiling wide. . 

“Hello, yeah. It’s been like what? Three years?” You say with a laugh before giving her another quick hug. 

“A lot to catch up on but that’s perfect. I made a reservation for us at a really nice restaurant. I remember you liked Japanese food, no?” Ana says before turning to the car where Carlos was playing with his phone. “Let’s go?” 

You’re about to take the back seat when Ana beats you to it, shooing you towards the passenger seat. “Fine, fine.” You say before ducking your head to get in. You flash Carlos a smile. 

“Hey,” You say, putting on your seatbelt as Ana gets in. Carlos greets you back, looking at Ana through the rear view mirror. 

“Ready?” 

The little bit of nerves you have dissipate after the first few minutes of sitting in the car. Ana is filling up the silence by picking songs to play and asking you questions and updates of your life. It's a bit of back and forth and it’s nice to hear more about what she’s been up to. Carlos even joins a bit in the conversation, but you and Ana do most of the catching up. You learn she’s almost done with her studies, finishing up her degree in Business and that she had broken up with her boyfriend. Carlos laughs a bit when you sigh out a “finally”, nodding with you in agreement. 

“He was an asshole.” He says with a shrug to which you both agree. 

The conversation stalls for a bit when Carlos announces that you’ve arrived, quickly turning off the car and taking out the keys to give to the valet. 

The topic picks itself back up once you’re all done ordering. “So- I forgot to ask you earlier.” Ana says, catching your attention. You gently twist the stem of your wine glass between your fingers, giving her a nod to ask away.

“How’s your love life? Any action?” She asks curiously and you smile before rolling your eyes. Carlos shifts a bit in his seat before looking over you, seemingly curious too. 

“Yeah, yeah I have a boyfriend. He’s not here though.” You say with a small smile. “We got together relatively recently. Well actually- I think we’ll be together for a year in a few months.” 

“Boo,” Ana jokes, “being single is fun, no?” She asks giving Carlos a nudge. Carlos fixes his hair with a chuckle. 

“Yeah, yeah.” He says, leaning back to his chair before crossing his arms, clearly not in the mood to talk about it. It’s clear that Ana wants to pick on it but you quickly catch her attention.

“So Ana, has Carlos been as annoying as ever? Or has it gotten better throughout the years?” You ask teasingly which earns you a scowl from Carlos. 

“He’s the worst, I think he’s even more annoying now.” Ana says with a snicker, taking a sip of her wine. 

“Yeah thought so,” You say, giving Carlos a shake of your head from disappointment. “He’s always talking about this and that, never wants to shut up hm?”

“Ay, come on, come on.” Carlos says waving his hand at you guys. “I did not miss the bullying at all.” he says but the smile on his face says otherwise. 

By the time you finish dinner Ana and you are two bottles of wine in and you clearly can feel a buzz. You were not much of a drinker which really did affect your tolerance levels, and two bottles of wine was a hefty feat for you. Both Ana and you were giggly, the wine having relaxed you both whilst Carlos had limited himself to one glass since he was driving you all home. He had loosened up too though, and you all had been reminiscing about old memories, even reminding each other of some that you had forgotten. 

“Remember that time y/n got lost in the house of mirrors in the carnival in Madrid?” Carlos snickers and you can’t help but pout. 

“Hey, it was confusing.” You defend yourself, remembering how lost you were. You had spent almost twenty minutes there before practically giving up and waiting for someone in hopes that you could follow them out. “At least I didn’t walk into any of the mirrors.” You snip back, laughing when Carlos’ smile drops

“It was that one time,” he states  but before he can say anything else Ana is butting in. 

“Yeah but you had a whole bump on your forehead for like a week. We even named it.” She says pointing at the left side of her forehead just for a reminder. 

“Oh my god, I forgot about Carlos Junior Junior.” You laugh, squirming away when Carlos tries to pinch your arm as retaliation. 

“You weren’t laughing when I had to go back in to help you out. I don’t even know how you got yourself that far in” He says and you smile and shake your head. 

“Not at all. I thought I was gonna be there for the whole night.” You confess, smiling at him before looking at Ana. 

“You crashed that day, no? We weren’t supposed to take you with us.” Ana nods, not even trying to hide it and Carlos smiles, amused. “I’m glad you crashed, it was a lot of fun. We did ditch you for a good thirty minutes though.” You say with a soft laugh.

“We wanted to get some alone time, it’s not cool to take your little sister on a date.” Carlos snorts but Ana is shaking her head. 

“You had the most fun when I was around.” She says confidently and you can’t disagree with her. 

After a few more stories you check your phone to look at the time, starting to feel a bit tired. 

“Yeah, it’s getting late,” Carlos says, practically reading your mind before waving over to the waiter. “I’ll get the bill, and then we can drop you off, yeah?” He offers. 

“Yeah, yeah. How much is it? I can split it.” You offer before Carlos is shaking his head. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, we invited you, it’s on us.” And that’s the end of the discussion. 

By the time you get home Ana is dozed off in the backseat. You and Carlos had made small talk, mainly about work, but you’re surprised when he tells you he’ll get out of the car to properly say goodbye. He walks a bit to your side of the car before standing next to you and leaning on his car. You lean back as well, watching him cross his arms over his chest. 

“Thanks for coming, it was really nice.” Carlos says, looking over at you. “And listen- sorry for the whole thing at work and that whole fight we had. I get why you said we didn’t know each other.” Carlos says. “I just didn’t expect to see you there.” 

You nod quietly to his words, giving him a small smile. “I’m sorry too. I could have tried to give you a heads up or something and I wasn’t nice at all when we argued.” You say with a small sigh. “I got too defensive at some point and it was selfish for me to just show up like that.” 

Carlos laughs softly and shakes his head. “You’re crazy. It wasn’t selfish at all. You’ve worked hard to get there. They don’t just give the internships to just anybody. You definitely didn’t owe me anything. Plus Tom really likes you now.” Carlos says with a chuckle. 

“Yeah, yeah I know. I worked a lot for this.” You laugh softly. “I’m surprised I got it though.” You say, furrowing your brows a bit when Carlos shakes his head. 

“Well I’m not.” He says before properly standing to turn to you. “Y/n, you are one of the most hardworking people I know. If anyone was going to make it it clearly was going to be you.” 

“Stop,” You say with a laugh, and you’re not sure if it’s the alcohol but you feel your eyes slowly getting wet. You keep your gaze forward, unable to look him in the eye. “Look at you though, you’re living your dream.” You say with a smile. 

“Yeah.” He breathes out. “We made it hm?” Carlos asks and you give him a small nod. 

“Well, in my case, almost.” You say before taking a deep breath to compose yourself before properly turning towards him too. 

“So we’re good now?” You ask, extending your hand out to shake and Carlos shakes his head. 

“Come on,” He says before pulling you into a hug. You stumble a bit, still a bit tipsy but you return the hug before slowly pulling away. “We’re good.” He says before taking a step back. “Okay, I should go before Ana wakes up and wants to party or something.” He says making you laugh. 

“Alright, alright. Enjoy your weekend with her. I’ll see you on Monday?” You ask as you slowly walk backwards to your lobby’s entrance. 

“Yes, see you Monday. Enjoy your weekend too. I hope you don’t feel too hungover.” He teases. You roll your eyes, soon turning to head into the lobby. You turn around to look back and see he’s still outside his car, waiting for you to go in. Quickly you give him a wave, before you head up to the elevators. 

The moment you lay in bed is when you finally let out a tired but satisfied sigh. You can’t help but to pull the covers close to you as you think about the evening. Relief washed over you knowing that you and Carlos were good, and maybe even friends now? Before you drift off you remember to text Bastien that you are home, and you grab your phone to do so. You see a text from Carlos, saying Ana and him were already home and you send him a quick thumbs up before you open your chat with Bastien. 

You give him a quick text that you’re home and in bed before locking your phone and setting it on your bedside. You doze off with a light feeling in your chest, even thinking about how work would be the following week.

fin.

read chapter five here

taglist: @sgkophie @loverboysainz-interacts @mossafiato @animesimp2 @gridmetro @iamasimpingh0e @ihearttheoriginals @panicforspec @wildflowertaste @hammyknight @im-an-overthinker @serialkillertbh @pierre-gasssllyy @lostinketterdam @organasith @sarasturniolo @azenpal @sukunasrealgf @imsoconfused2903 @dr3lover @nsprinx @hayleyy-l @starxqt @xheera @idkiwantchocolatee @sarahayden

(pls let me know if i forgot you and i'll add you once i can, sorry it's been hard to keep up with everybody!)

a/n: once again thank you for reading <3, i appreciate it big time. also reader and carlos are finally getting along but Bastien is back into the mix 😉. let me know what you think!! Xxx (even if it is points of improvement).

interested in reading more? check my masterlist

[gregoftom]

i don't really know how to explain myself properly but i feel like some people are really concerned about Getting A Good Grade In Succession to the point where they've adopted a very cynical view of tg's relationship because being too earnest about them is ~not the point of the show~ or w/e. which is funny because every other relationship in the show is allowed to be nuanced but not theirs i guess? so you have people going "oh their relationship was only ever about them using each other from the start" when that's demonstrably not true and like. i have really mixed feelings about this season so far and i feel like anything could happen with them by virtue of weird writing choices and i hope with all my heart this doesn't end up being the case but even if the finale tries to diminish the depth of their relationship i don't understand the point of Us acting like there was never anything deeper there? but anyway, all this too say that i agree w/ you that the way people are very cynical and dismissive abt tg specifically has rubbed me the wrong way and thank u for your service ❤️

hiii sweet anon!

A GOOD GRADE IN SUCCESSION ASHAKJSA god honestly, i hear you.

i'm getting real tired of this "point of the show" shit bc it's like. just because tg isn't "the point", isn't a main focal plot [which it is, or at least is part of it], isn't integral to character development [which it is too; without tom greg would not be where he is now which is at a point where he actually could be seriously considered as a fucking CEO, without greg tom wouldn't have learned any self respect or self worth/we would never have been able to see him express himself beyond servitude towards shiv], it doesn't mean it can't be explored and considered as a serious part of the show?

media is created for us to enjoy. yes it's there to interpret and discuss but it doesn't always have to be that way? literally you can watch the show just for tomgreg and that is A OKAY. why? because you don't have to justify why you like something! surprise! and yeah i've noticed that too - other relationships get to be seen as nuanced, but not tg i guess. idk why, seeing as its dynamic is something to be studied under a microscope and fun to not only shippers but normies too lmao. clearly there is something more interesting to it than just, oh it's mutual corporate climbing.

exactly! there's even more contexts provided by the scripts, THE SACRED TEXTS lol that provide us with more knowledge and insight into the feelings of these characters, that show us that their relationship goes beyond using each other. there is an element of that of course, but that's not all they are. why reduce them to that when so very clearly on paper we are affirmed of what we thought we could read textually on the screen? it just baffles me.

i'm hoping too anon, like A Lot. from the looks of the trailer i have a. i have a little bit of hope. even if say, tom has to choose between greg and shiv, if he chooses shiv and has visible trouble with it, like it takes him time, it plagues him, it takes effort, it feels like a real decision affecting his life, like. that counts for something you know? that would, to me, not diminish his relationship with greg. obviously it would be heartbreaking after how loyal greg has been to tom, but the very fact that it would be difficult to tom would mean that greg is important to him in some fashion, and the show would be at least acknowledging it by doing that. like, it's that easy. i ain't asking for much. i know what i'd like, but what i would be satisfied/settle with, well i think the bar is reasonable, you know?

i'm glad you understand me! i mean, who knows maybe some of it is people trying to go on the defensive like, "it's the hope that kills you" so they are trying not to have any by lessening it, saying oh there was nothing there, there was no romance, nothing positive, it was all for mutual professional gain and that's it. but like, personally that doesn't work for me. i think you should at least acknowledge its importance otherwise we're regressing right back to the oh it's a mlm ship? never mind then. i'm not about that, i guess.

thanks for the message buddy god speed <3

[boowoomuu]

WHAT IS HAPPENING IN BRASIL RIGHT NOW:

So, as some of you may have noticed, today (2/10) was elections day here in Brasil. Things are really tense and scary here, at least for myself. Right now, our president, unfortunately, is Jair Bolsonaro, a man who has openly said he supports torture and our dictature, is also openly misogynist, queerphobic, the first thing he did when he became president was putting an end to the ministery of culture, he openly made fun of the pandemic, being able to help the people in need during covid's peak and decided not to, saying things like "it's just a little flu, people need to stop being so dramatic about it", made advertisement of a medecine not approved by doctors which his supporters started taking like water, never properly wore a mask and promoted marches during the lockdown, oh, and also spread fake news about vaccines, wich made a lot of people refuse to take them, among many many maaaany other things (I'm so tired rn, it's 02:59am here, if you guys want to, I can get the sources and post here but tomorrow.). Today we had the chance to take him out of our lives, but this is Brasil, no one takes anything seriously and we always find a nee way to surprise people.

I didn't want to sleep until the votes apuration reached 100% but I'll be waking up super early tomorrow so yeah, I must sleep. Anyways, the vote apuration is currently on 99,99% (it's been for the last hour btw) but those ate the results so far.

In conclusion, I am legitmately terrified. Lula was our best shot to take him out, so everyone who didn't want Bozo voted for him, and we were really hopefull we could get him elected on the first turn, but now we'll have to have a second one where we choose either Lula or Bolsonaro. The choice is obvious to me, but as you guys can see, most people prefer to elect a genocidal man than a socialist.

I don't really know what I wanted to achieve with this post, but I just thought it was important to let everybody now what is happening here. We are comparing this to our period of dictature, bc a lot of people here still deny the fact we had one or say it was the best time of their lives and that, quoting my grandma "the history books are wrong".

I once had to research the kinds of tortures that were made by the army during the dictature for school and it still haunts me to this day.

And to see people in the streets, using my beloved flag as their symbol to say that that period was good makes me really angry and terribly sad.

I'm fucking terrified of the second turn. Things are getting more and more expensive here. There are reports of people raiding garbage trucks to look for food bc they're hungry. I am lucky to be privileged and I can still buy food, but for how long? I don't really wanna find out what four more years with him as president will do to us, but I'm scared. I'm scared to go out in the streets, and to openly say my opinions on the matter. There are also reports of people being murdered on the streets bc they were wearing stickers of leftists candidates.

Things are scary here. But please, don't let this be ignored like the dictature was. We now have internet on our side. Please, pray for us and wish us luck, we'll need it.

[sixosix]

back by unpopular demand, it's me(that deadman aether anon, that's just my name now i guess)! here to poke the newest chapter a few times until it gives me answers

imma just hit this right off the bat since the chapter just came out- a little crazy? A LITTLE?? man's taking after his 'father' more than he realizes, no wonder he is next in line to be 'king'.

seriously tho, the mental/emotional range lyney has this chapter is wild to me. he's so happy and giddy but even though that doesn't necessarily go away he flips a switch to serious mode when lynette questions him.

he's just?? constantly planning? like here he is, acting almost lovesick over thawed!reader but he keeps hyperfocused on any information she drops to store for later use. worrying over her using her old weapon from her time at the house? already planning on how to get her the perfect weapon as a gift and asks her about childe's methods. 'idle' conversation? instantly mentally notes what topics she is avoiding. she questions him about what the house is doing? i'd bet real money he noted that as well, not to mention wording his answer so that he didn't fully lie to her(after earlier mentioning that she would know if he was lying to her face??? lsafdkjfsa).

Like! Literally, his first words after their little spar date were “She’s hiding something”. sjklsflaljf, like yeah??! She is!!! About a lot of things my guy! Just wait until you get the full picture and not just the flawed info you got right now.

SPEAKING OF WHEN THAT LAST SCENE THO-

Behind Lyney, the moonlight scatters all over. It is a little hard to tell what face he’s making. “I’m doing this exactly because I’m trying not to drive her away.”

This. This snatched my focus. Lyney (and by extension the rest of the fauti trio) are playing chess while Aether and Thawed!Reader are playing checkers!

this is getting long so i'll cut myself off because i know I'm gonna barge in with more random thoughts later- just please know I'm absolutely gonna be re-reading this for the next couple days.

HI DEADMAN AETHER ANON!! always a joy to see u here. that being said,

WHAT THE FUCK!!!! how did u get it so quickly ??? i was literally just talking about it w my friend earlier where i was saying that i wanted lyney to play into the role he said he never wanted 😨‼️ its incredible u got it right off the bat! i thought itd take a few chapters before it sinks in to the readers (including the actual reader)

lyney doesnt bother hiding his expressions w lynette bc she could tell if he plasters on a fake smile anyway—and thats probably way more disturbing for her 😕

yeahh lyney is a bit 😝😝😝😝😝 rn bc lets be real… thawed!lyney and reader are not emotionally stable…… as art naosaki once said in our dms, “Reader needs to learn how to stay and lyney needs to learn how to let go.”

the !!! analogy!!! thats so genius!! i love that :D

thank you somuch once again for sharing your thoughts!!! its like meeting someone on the same wavelength as me!!!!! its so cool to read what u have to say

CANT WAIT FOR MORE OF UR WONDERFUL THOUGHTS!!! ❤️❤️❤️ your observations are OUTSTANDING as always

[17magpiesinatrenchcoat]

TELL US YOUR PK HEADCANONS!!! (if you wanna)

Oh HELL yeah

I’ve already said a bunch of these on ig… but you guys get to have more 😈😈

putting a cut here bc it’s fuckin long lol 💀💀

My fan name for him is Astennu!! Means god of the moon.. and WL’s name is Faraway :D

pan/polygamous: ]

autistic ofc bc I love projecting he's very bad at masking too, he's good at keeping up one specific persona (typical cold ruler mask..) but as soon as someone doesn't act the exact way he expects them to do he doesn't know how to react, and the mask slips, very practiced and good but only in very specific circumstances, another reason why he's so antisocial

he is good at heart and has strong morals, but they're usually overpowered by fear, so he usually just does what's easiest instead of what's right, even though it hurts him more in the long run

he doesn't give a shit about gender, everyone just started calling him a guy and he was like "ok lol"

likes singing and is quite good at it too!! (or. in the case of my au, he was before his voice got messed up)

NO spacial awareness whatsoever, always gets lost in thought, constantly bumping into shit, , he has a bunch of gnarly scars just from that

his godly powers are too much for his mortal-ish body, he regularly gets sick bevause of them, and it was even worse before he used most of them to create hallownest, he was basically permanently in pain lol LOSER

he can't control his glow, so it betrays his emotions a lot (and he can accidentally flashbang people when he feels really strong emotions)

refuses to be vulnerable at all. pushes everyone away, somewhat consciously too, believing himself to be a burden and that they'd be better off without him

drinks literally nothing but coffee {or the hallownest equivalent to it anyway)

very bad memory (projecting again)

he doesn't know how to interact with. people. much less be a parent. he's a terrible parent LOL he tries but he's just not good at it whatsoever

kind of a shitty immune system due to his powers making him sick so often, another reason he's reclusive

ameteur painter (he doesn't understand it much but it makes lurien really happy so)

his special interest is just. inventing intricate technology in general, he completely hyper focuses on it and would spend literal days doing it if it wasn't for wl dragging him out of his workshop LOL

EXTREMELY deadpan and can be very rude without realising it

Stuff always gets stuck in his horns and he usually doesn’t notice until it gets pointed out (which usually take hours bc wl and lurien think it’s funny lol)

Literally does not know how to make connections with people whatsoever every connection he has made has been accidental

dating both lurien and wl obviously 🫶🫶🫶(wl is also dating dryya but I haven’t put much thought into that one yet I should) the gods do not care for monogamy

Hmm.. for his relationships with some of the other characters..

realising that I have not fleshed out his relationship with wl really omg what’s wrong with me I need to fix that ☹️☹️ but uh here’s the other characters for now lol

him and lurien are both deranged autism buddies <33 lurien does not take any form of authority seriously at all, and doesn’t like taking orders (pathological demand avoidance, autistic thing, pretty sure I have it lol) and so.. he never like. acted like pk was a god. he just treated him like a normal person. and pk had no clue how to react to that so he could not keep up his mask around lurien at all.. so eventually they ended up realising they have common interests and ended up becoming friends.. and later.. hmmm?? they are both incredibly awkward and socially inept lol so it took way longer to happen then it should 💀

but yeah they have a very funky dynamic LOL they can talk for hours about their common interests <3 and hmm.. their dynamic is basically this

He never thought that much of herrah other than being vaguely scared of her;; but she fucking hated him LOL she thought he was an inept cowardly moron

but.. the more time she spent as queen, she grew to understand him a lot more as she felt how much that role and pressure could tear someone down

She still doesn’t like him that much, but she understands why he is the way he is now, and tries to be nicer bevause she knows how it feels

He and monomon have a very weird relationship.. they’re kinda friends but also kinda fucking hate each other LOL;; like;; theyre really fucking mean and hostile to each other but it’s not really genuine, it’s more out of habit than anything, and they do care about each other and look out for each other, it’s just sort of the manifestation of them both being emotionally inept assholes who don’t know how to communicate, so they sorta take it out on each other, but neither of them mind, they know neither of them actually mean it

so yeah sorta like;; idk weird ass friendship where they both pretend to hate each other to vent at how shit the world is but they both know neither of them mean it bevause the anger isn’t directed at each other at all, and it’s kinda become a game between them who can come up with the most ridiculous insults LOL

Uhhh I guess that’s it lol!! Yeah I said there was a lot 💀 if you have any questions or more headcanon ideas for me… well you know where to find me 💜💜

[canonizzyhours]

idk if this is appropriate since it isn't about canon izzy directly but i need somewhere anonymous to complain about 'the canyon.' i'm not in a lot of fandoms so i don't know if this is normal fandom behavior or what. I hope it isn't. this has been a uniquely upsetting experience for me. I have, like, next level autism for this show so of course i had to find Every single scrap of information about it and in the course of my obsessive 'research' i encountered these guys a lot, almost from the very beginning.

at first i thought it was funny and cute, like when people are hot for hannibal lector or some fucked up little guy. they wrote the worst ever fanfiction. that was fine, I could forgive that. but then they started saying things like 'if you watch it from izzy's perspective you'll see that he's the real hero and ed is the villain.' like girl no I've watched it 96 times and never once found this authoritarian incel karen good or relatable. the one that really got me was 'in any other show he'd be the protagonist.' yeah bro that's why i like this one? go watch one of those?

by like the fourth month they already had a bizarre victim complex. I just avoided talking about him completely because they would get really rude and start in with the guilt trips if you mentioned izzy even in a neutral way, let alone if you said anything about homophobia or psychological abuse. they called people abusive and homophobic and racist (?) if they said anything negative about fictional white man izzy hands. they threatened to sue someone. remember when there was an essay about him in a zine that was actually pretty positive? and most of the comments online were about how the actors and writers would definitely read this and be heartbroken. probably cry. maybe not even want to make the show anymore. it was a fan zine.

i didn't even like izzy except as an antagonist, but somehow they almost convinced me that i was watching it wrong. i started to seriously think, like, what if the writers were on his side all along? what if they really were making the main (queer, indigenous) love interest abusive and my very favorite thing was not as good as i thought it was? why not, when i've always had to twist a story to pretend it's for me? maybe i'd done it without realizing this time. i would have been so disappointed. and the way season two was done, there was like a week where i think i really believed it. it made me feel like i couldn't trust my own judgement. probably I was depending too much on this one tv show for serotonin because I cried a lot during that time, but you know how it is. the point is, it should have been a fun time for me but it was not.

i was so happy when he died, though. that cheered me right up and i'm fine now. i know I'm being dramatic and none of my complaints are very important in the grand scheme of things (i didn't even get into the racism) but they almost fucked up my Autism Favorite Thing for me and i want it to be documented somewhere that i will never forgive them for that <3 <3 <3

#31.

related posts: #29

(so i'd have posted this anyway bc of recent posts talking about questioning their views of izzy bc of the prevalence of canyon takes insisting he's a protagonist etc. but even without that, this blog was literally created because of a need for a space to talk about canon izzy and a need for acknowledgement that fanon izzy has become very widespread, mostly due to the canyon actions you mention. so it's difficult to separate the two when the blog was partially born from people thinking they were the only one to feel this way!)