#BAD BITCH VIBES FROM HERMIONE

[allaboutbethsblog]

Hermione sees draco and starts angrily walking up to him

Draco- ah, come to see the show?

Hermione: You! You foul, loathsome evil little cockroach! *gets her wand out and puts to draco chin*

Draco-*leans up against the wall*

Ron-Hermione, no! He's not worth it

Draco-sobbing

Hermione -*lowers her wand turns towards Ron*

Draco and Goyle laughing

Hermione *turns back around, punches Draco in the face*

[saintsenara]

I don't know if you are still doing the ship game. What do you think about Drarry? I apologise if you have already answered it- I tried to see if someone else has asked but I may have missed your response. It's a very popular ship and there are lots of well written fics by incredibly talented authors that I have enjoyed. But when I take that aside and look at the pairing just on its own, I struggle to articulate my thoughts on what I actually think about the pairing.

thank you for the ask @sarafina-sincerity!

i do read drarry, but i think it’s probably fair to say that i don’t read drarry because i expect it to make sense.

i like it fluffy and stupid, to be enjoyed after a hard day at work when i want something which is crammed full of fuck-buddies-to-oh-wait-this-is-serious tropes which doesn’t require too much effort to engage with.

and so the fics i tend to read aren’t drarry which really grapples with exactly how difficult it can be to make harry and draco work as a stable couple while still feeling true to their canon characters. [they’re not fics which dive into how they would be as an unstable couple either, which is - frankly - because i prefer to see harry in toxic messes with other people.] i like a bit of of out-of-character nonsense - i love to tune into a fic in which draco is assertive and witty and sophisticated (even though in the books he’s an insecure little bitch whose jokes always flop) or in which harry is passive, preternaturally adoring, and speaks like a therapist (even though in the books he’s a reckless feral cat with the emotional awareness of cardboard) or in which ron and hermione come around to it really quickly. i think they’re fun!

but arguing that drarry could make sense as a happy relationship when the characters are as they are in canon is difficult. indeed, i think that it’s even more difficult than making many of the completely implausible-sounding harry-centric pairings work (and, indeed, draco-centric pairings, taco nation rise up). and i think it’s worth dissecting why.

the first reason is that, much as umbridge is often the villain that readers have the most visceral reaction to (and much as the thing about snape which seems to most upset readers is when he’s a bad teacher), the fact that draco is just some guy at school actually makes the pairing harder. unlike something like snarry, in which a semi-mystical connection between the two is set up by the narrative, or tomarry, in which an overtly mystical connection is, drarry is just two lads who don’t really get on.

indeed, despite a tendency to explain their vibe in the books as sexual tension, harry gives no indication of particularly caring either way about draco while they’re at school. he thinks he’s annoying, pretentious, rude, and cowardly, but - outside of half-blood prince - he is not ever actually shown to escalate those feelings into being particularly obsessed with him. harry doesn’t watch draco constantly or follow him around or devote a huge amount of time to thinking about him when they’re not together of his own accord; and when he does do any of these things, it’s usually because draco has provoked him into it by seeking him out and/or being explicitly bigoted. even in half-blood prince, harry’s obsession with draco is external to the man himself - it’s rooted in his attempts to block out his grief over sirius, his anger at the death eaters who killed his godfather (lucius malfoy among them), his suspicion of snape, and the things he is learning about tom riddle.

draco, though, is obsessed with him. harry spends seven years living rent free in his head; he tracks his movements, he can barely make it through the day without seeking him out to try and get some attention from him, he clearly talks about him all the time (he needs no prompting from ‘crabbe’ and ‘goyle’ to bring him up during the polyjuice scene in chamber of secrets). he also obviously does have some level of respect for harry - he acknowledges, even if it’s through complaining to his father, that he’s a good quidditch player, for example - and, by the end of the series, he clearly does regard harry as brave. whereas, when it comes to more positive emotions, harry pities draco, but he never seems to like or admire him.

as a result, i always prefer drarry in which draco is the more feral one, but the default dynamic seems to have harry chasing him, rather than the other way round. i would also like to see more authors work with how likely draco would be to put up for long with having such an obvious interest in a man who is only ever likely to be ambivalent towards him in return

[and also a man who is quite likely to expect to become his partner’s priority, rather than the other way round. one issue with a lot of harry’s relationships, whether his canonical one with ginny or a fanon alternative, is that the role he occupies in the story means that he tends to relate to people he knows not as equals but either as people he needs to protect or people he needs to protect others from. in a relationship with draco, he is likely to pivot from the latter to the former, and i can’t imagine that draco - who thinks of himself as a protector as well, especially in his relationship with his mother - is going to particularly enjoy this. this is why i like middle-aged, have had decades to calm down, widowed or divorced drarry - it feels like it has more chance of being equal than the school-age or immediately post-war stuff.]

harry’s indifference-bordering-on-dislike towards draco does stand in contrast to how he thinks about other male characters that he’s frequently paired with. to return to snarry and tomarry - harry is shown to admire snape at numerous points prior to the end of half-blood prince, his interest in the prince’s textbook reveals that he and snape have a shared intellectual compatibility, and - above all - harry understands and empathises with snape’s background and experiences. similarly, harry is shown to admire voldemort at numerous points, the narrative sets them up as being very similar, and - above all - harry understands and empathises with voldemort’s background and experiences.

[harry is also obviously physically attracted to tom riddle, while draco is not - although this is, of course, not an insurmountable issue - obviously his type. the men harry finds attractive in canon are all tall, thin, and dark-haired, and draco is always described by the narrative in terms which suggest that harry thinks he’s ugly. the same is true for lucius malfoy.]

and i think that one explanation for the above is that a lack of shared background is one of the major stumbling blocks to drarry which doesn’t exist in the other two pairings. i love an auror partners trope-fic as much as any other girl, but - in reality - draco never needs to work and never gives the impression of being career-minded or finding career ambition valuable. harry is certainly rich enough not to need to work - and the fact that he has a pureblood name and resembles his pureblood father gives him an amount of class protection in the wizarding world which means that drarry is nowhere near as socially unequal as something like dramione - but he evidently finds the idea of working valuable, not least because he wants to achieve recognition for something other than being the boy-who-lived.

but draco - who likes being thought special on the basis of unearned things like his family name - would struggle to understand this. and, in return, harry would struggle to understand how draco’s adult life - something i suspect he would see as one of tedious luxury - is driven by a sense of duty to his family and his peers. after all, harry believes in the value of found family and earned loyalty, and loathes any expectation that he should be deferential to people just because of who they are.

of course, i don’t think this would prevent them being together. it would just cause a tension which would either see everything crash and burn (hot) or which would require growth from both characters which takes a certain lightness of touch to pull off. there are lots of drarry authors who do one or both of these in their works, of course. but those authors are very rarely trying to portray harry and draco as (to begin with, at least) a good or healthy couple…

but with this said, i also think that some common criticisms of drarry wouldn’t actually be a big deal to either harry or draco.

the most significant of these is the fact that harry is morally righteous - yes - but that this manifests itself in an expectation of loyalty from other people, but not an expectation of purity. in post-war drarry, i think it’s entirely reasonable to say that harry’s belief that the malfoys turned against voldemort because of loyalty to each other (something he finds valuable, and clearly considers to be the appropriate way for a family unit to behave - look at what he thinks of percy weasley, for example), as well as lucius malfoy’s extra-canonical willingness to help harry and the ministry by informing on all his former associates (which, according to jkr, results in him being spared azkaban and harry thinking that’s fine) enables him to let go of draco’s past, and to have a relationship without the weight of that history hanging over them. i don’t think he ever becomes fond of lucius - although i think he is likely to feel slightly more warmth towards narcissa - but i also don’t think he would expect draco to estrange himself from his family or completely change as a person in order to consider him worthy of his affection.

[this is, for what it’s worth, something which makes dramione an impossibility for me - even if draco is capable of redemption (which, like everyone, he is), i don’t think she’s ever forgiving him or considering him changed enough to be worthy of her, and i don’t think she should have to.]

draco may not, however, consider this acceptance as much of a gift as harry might. above all because i believe sincerely that harry would never feel bad about the sectumsempra incident. draco is clearly someone who holds grudges, and i think that this would always be in quite profound tension with harry’s remarkable (but also entirely self-interested) ability to decide he’s going to let things go.

i also think that harry is going to be able to handle draco’s more negative characteristics better than he’s sometimes given credit for, since all of them - especially his tendency towards jealousy, self-aggrandisement, and moping - are things he shares with ron. and, like ron, i think draco is going to be surprisingly good at dealing with harry’s impulsivity, his tendency to brood, and tendency to form knee-jerk judgements. these seemingly opposing personality traits are actually quite nicely balanced.

and, of course, the big one: love is strange and unpredictable; forgiveness can be easy just as often as it can be difficult; everyone is capable of redemption; people can choose to be together despite significant odds against them; choice is much more interesting than fate; and fluffy drarry is unbelievably entertaining.

my final statement, though? people are sleeping on dron. ron and draco have all the right ingredients - above all, the fact that they’re narrative mirrors - which makes things like snack bang. the potential for drama and intrigue and destabilising love is right there. harry simply cannot compete.

[92-guy]

Your rate of the ships and why.

Thank you very much for asking, sorry for taking so long, but I wanted to answer your question as best as possible, so here are my top 5 favorites ships (Not in a specific order)

Jackunzel

Probably the most famous ship on this list, if this is your favourite, you're picking the safest option, maybe a bit overrated, but still a very good one.

Now, I believe that this couple is what we all wanted to be when we were children, to be outgoing and find someone just as fun, kind and trustworthy, who would not leave us alone in our nonsense and on the contrary would make us see the beauty of our differences. their parallelism and differences in personality and physique seem to me to be one of the best things between Disney and Dreamworks, and I consider that Jack was the direct response towards Rapunzel, taking inspiration from her to make the "Perfect boy" for a generation of people, while Although Rapunzel is not talked about much now, she is the kindest princess Disney has ever created (and still is).

Depending on what AU you have of them, I think they would make a very good and fun Sitcom in any AU.

I once read that someone compared them to Nightwing and Starfire and I couldn't agree more with that.

Hiccunzel

They are cute

I like how they look together and they give me Spider-Man and Mary Jane vibes if only Spider-Man had good character development and could mature.

I like the fact that she is an outgoing and creative girl, with an introverted and witty boy, Hiccup would be the first to fall in love with her, trying to do whatever it takes to make her notice him, supporting her with painting, teaching her everything he could. she knows about dragons, drawing, even asking them to make a small smithy so she could use it as a kitchen and both of them will cook together while in Berk.

And I can't stop seeing them in this situation

Jarida

At first I didn't think I could like them that much, but I saw in them a kind of connection that I don't know how it worked, both wanting to enjoy the moment and without thinking about those responsible, just young being young.

I like how their relationship could not be supported while they are at peace, but at the moment of the action they know that they make the best team, synchronizing their movements and knowing what the other wants, and from that connection a tender love would arise where both did not want feel the love for the other, but it was inevitable, the jokes of both would begin to be excuses to get closer to the other, which Jack would love the smell of Merida and she would love the frozen sensation of Jack and fly with him.

The only thing that I think is bad about this relationship is that they would probably need to go to therapy, because they would not be very easy to open up their feelings, especially when something hurts them, so as not to appear weak to their partner and when they have an argument. or problem, they would rather solve it with… “action” than talk about it, they would be much like Ron and Hermione.

(But these are things that can be fixed with therapy, go to therapy, it's better than you think)

For the rest, I think they are a very nice couple and their relationship with the team would be one of those who always look for fights.

Janna

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A extremely underrated ship, but I find it a very interesting couple, an outgoing and impulsive boy who lost his younger sister, while she is an outgoing and impulsive girl who lost her older sister for a long time.

Clearly they would create a bond, Jack taking the role of older brother that Anna always wanted to have with Elsa, but she couldn't, while Anna would take the role of younger sister and mother at the same time, being protective of Jack when she wants to. doing things without thinking, a bit hypocritical, because if she's involved with him, she's willing to follow him, which almost always ends with something broken.

Besides that Anna would help him with Jack's mommy issues.

Their relationship seems to me that it would be friendship first, going on to treat each other as brothers and family, Anna over protecting Jack and Jack feeling the crush first, followed by Anna, both are afraid of their feelings, after all, they were like brothers, but Anna, as the dominant in the relationship, decides to face the situation and here there can be two ways out, or they end up like Steve and Peggy from the MCU

Hiccelsa

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I have to admit, this is my personal favorite.

I have to admit that I was one of the people who supported that Elsa was lesbian, or should be asexual, and that she shouldn't have any ship, but then I met Hiccelsa, and it totally changed my mind, this became my ship favorite, since they are not only 2 of my favorite characters, but also because they perfectly represent opposites, Elsa representing ice, immovable, cold, serene; while Hiccup represents fire, unstoppable, warm, passionate.

Their ship reminds me a lot of Superman and Wonder Woman, a fair and upright woman, with a kind and understandable man.

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In addition, it seems to me that they would be a very mature relationship, where if they were fighting they would not speak to each other, but they still want to help the other, because they love each other and an argument will not separate them.

I don't think they fall in love instantly, but they would start as friends, they respect each other until they form a good friendship, Hiccup being Elsa's first "best friend" and what begins to attract them is their attitude, Elsa without fear to the unknown and willing to give everything to protect others, while Hiccup being a selfless hero, and willing to go against his superiors to do the right thing, even being just a man without a leg, attitudes that each would attract.

In addition, they are dramatic that if you stop watching them for 2 seconds they are already posing.

And their relationship with "The big 6" would be the father and mother of the team, obviously.

Believe me when I tell you that it took me longer to figure out what to remove so that this space wouldn't be so long, than to describe why I like this ship so much.

[livvyofthelake]

i'm extremely tired so I can't think of anything specific but tell me about tamara I feel like she's the one I know least about what's her vibe...

well BASICALLY she’s very like. the character you would expect to get the “she’s the braincell” treatment. she’s got that hermione granger realness. that annabeth chase swag. that nancy stranger things vibe. that brenda maze runner slay. lone female character in a book about some fucking dude syndrome. we’ve all seen it. the difference is i love her… and she’s also not actually Like That but well thats a given to you because as we know, the perception of female characters only ever has a 50% chance of being correct to how they actually are. basically she’s a little freak who pretends she’s normal and gets away with it because she’s rich and everyone likes her… she has the cunty Freak levels of snow season one ouat. it’s not always easy to notice in the books because well the narrator is call and he’s an idiot with sooo many of his own problems he rarely has the time to update us on everyone else. but seriously he and tamara are terrible aaron is sick of their shit and loves them sooo much <3 anyway. basically she’s soooo bitchy all the time because her parents suck majorly and her oldest sister died and her parents think she’s going to end up just like her and she lives her life like she’s constantly trying to pass a test that’s never over and she’s so fucking miserable because she never had friends until aaron and call but now she has friends and she loves them soooooo bad it makes her look a little stupid sometimes….. she’s like mom dad you have to let my friends stay with us for the end of summer they’re sad and lonely and poor…. and her parents are just fine with that because aaron is like a trophy because he’s The Makar (he’s the chaos mage they’ve all been waiting for for like 15 years that they expect to save them from the bad guy chaos mage. it’s complex basically he’s emma swan) and call is like. a fucked up stray cat tamara found in an alley that bites everybody but her and she loves this cat sooooo much that it would just be mean to tell her she can’t keep it because at the end of the day the expenses of the cat are not so bad and she takes care of it really well and you never even have to see it because it’s always with her. anyway yeah that’s call to tamara. she loves that freak <3 and she’s so cuntslay and cool and kind of annoying and the Worst and she loves cheating on tests and sneaking around and just generally getting up to mischief and she’s such a BITCH sometimes and i love her dearly that’s my friend tamara…

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

How long have you been reading fanfiction? How long have you been writing it? What made you take the plunge and start writing for HotD? (Horny answers are absolutely acceptable lol)

Hey, nonnie!

I've been reading fanfiction since I was maybe 11? When I was a kid, I had a weird fixation on Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter (I know, I know, there's no accounting for taste there), and I was obsessed with Dramione. Absolute basic bitch of me, lol. Back when the Harry Potter Fanfiction site was a thing, I used to read age-appropriate Dramione fics there all the damn time. Until my parents got annoyed with me for spending so much time fanfiction-ing on the family computer, so they 'banned' me from reading it. Joke's on them - they gave me a Nintendo 3DS and I could access the internet on that baby, so you bet your ass I continued to read fanfiction on those piss-poor screens. Over the years, I've read a metric FUCKTON of fanfiction. Here's some of the fandoms I've read for:

Harry Potter, Twilight, Star Wars (just - you can assume ALL of it), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Narnia (Caspian was a reeeeal hottie), Star Trek (original AND reboot), Vampire Diaries, Batman (Christian Bale, obvi), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Glee (I knoooow), Fantastic Beasts, Mortal Instruments, DCEU, Shadow and Bone, Dracula, The Tudors, Outlander, American Horror Story, Hunger Games, Little Women, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, Famous Five, Battlestar Galactica, Once Upon a Time, Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit, Game of Thrones (duh), House of the Dragon (double-duh), Vampire Academy, Divergent series, and the Witcher. Probably forgetting half of the fandoms I've read for, but this is.... well, it's not a bad start. Recently (as in, post-teens), I've tended to vacillate between Star Wars, Marvel and ASOIAF.

My first ever attempt at writing fanfiction would have to be Caspian x adult!Lucy fanfiction for Narnia. I vibed with Lucy more, and keep in mind I was like 13. I wrote it in a notebook, and from what I can recall it was fucking abhorrent. I've blocked most of that out. I attempted to write a Peeta x OC fanfiction (Hunger Games), but again - shite. Blocked it out. I then wrote a short series of Harry x Hermione one-shots (three in total) that don't COMPLETELY suck in around 2014-2015; uploaded them on FanFiction.Net back in the day and re-uploaded to AO3 earlier this year for the sake of recording writing that marks the first time I was genuinely proud of something I produced. I don't really plan on going back to HP, though, cuz J.K's a raging piece of shit nowadays and HP was a lot more appealing when I didn't realise the extent to which it plays up really hateful and racist rhetoric. Grotty! I've been reading smut since like 13, lol; absolutely shocking, if my parents had found out they would've sent me to some sort of institution. Not religious, my parents, but DEFINITELY conservative.

House of the Dragon has been my first real, decent attempt at writing fanfiction. I do really enjoy how dark and gritty it is, even with it's inherent problems when comparing to the real world. The fantasy, the politics, the rampant sex and violence - excellent. I'm a longtime Dany fan, so when I heard the Targs were making a comeback I had to sit down and watch. When I tell you I felt things in my pants at the sight of Matt Smith's Daemon sitting on that Iron Throne.... hoo, boy. Didn't get any better from there. I broke after seeing Peepaw Daemon in Episode 6 - his shoulder-length hair and his stern Daddy vibe made me want to lay myself over his lap and let him spank me until I cried, honestly. He hits all my main kinks (I pray to anything and everything that this is restricted to literary kinks, because WHOA) - powerful, amoral/violent, intensely obsessive/passionate, older, seksy voice. So I had to exorcise my demons by writing a smutty one-shot as his baby niecey getting railed on the wedding night. THEEEEN I had all these ideas about what would happen right after; theeen what happened before. And now, we here, lol.

Woof, this was a long answer. I hope I responded to all your questions! Thank you so much for the ask, nonnie!

[cursedwithwords]

Neville and Blaise, Harry and Fred, Parvati and lavender, pansy and hermione, pansy and Ginny, Ginny and Luna, Luna and Neville, narcissa and Lily, narcissa and Alice, Lily and Dorcas, Dorcas and Marlene, Marlene and Mary, Mary and Lily, regulus and James and barty and Evan, James and Barty, regulus and rabastan, regulus and Mary, Dorcas and Mary, Mary and Lily and pandora, Lily and pandora, bellatrix and Rita, bellatrix and pandora, Harry and Blaise, Harry and Draco, Hermione and Draco, Draco and Ron, Harry and Ron, Harry and Draco and Ron, Harry and pansy, pansy and Ron, Harry and Theo, Theo and Hermione, Harry and Hermione, tonks and fleur, Remus and regulus, James and Peter, Remus and James, James and Mary, Remus and Mary, marlene and Sirius,

Well, you asked, and tbh I was having kind of a bad day, so I'm grateful for the excuse to focus on something silly like this. To preface this, I just wanna say I'm a multishipper and have a pretty ship and let ship opinion on 99.9% of things, I don't normally have intense opinions on ships unless I love them or fuckin HATE them (otp vs notp yknow). So if I have a somewhat blasé or boring opinion I promise it's not you, I'm just hella basic lmao.

Neville/Blaise, Neville/Luna: I don't really ship Neville with anyone because I headcanon him as being ace, but romantically? Sure why not. Though I don't have much opinion on Blaise as a character. I don't like him exactly? But I'm not against it. I wouldn't consume content on either of these ships though.

Harry and Fred: No opinion, but fucking owe, okay.

Parvati and Lavender: I know this is a pretty popular w/w ship for the OG gen characters buuuuut I never got into it really. I always accepted that Lavender died during the Battle of Hogwarts, which makes it a pretty sad ship. I don't dislike it, I just wouldn't consume content of it. I've seen cute art though.

Pansy/Hermione, Pansy/Ginny: I fuckin hate Pansy, sorry QwQ 'Mione and Ginny deserve better.

Ginny and Luna: See THIS has always been a pretty cute dynamic to me, idk why. Maybe it's the aesthetic of the sporty jock girlfriend and the frilly airy girly girlfriend, the vibes are just delightful. I don't think I'd read fics of them, but I love when I see art of them. Five stars.

Narcissa/Lily, Narcissa/Alice: Eh, no opinion really. Either way that sucks for Narcissa though, damn???

Lily/Dorcas, Dorcas/Marlene, Marlene/Mary, Mary/Lily: I don't have much of an opinion on these either, we know SO little about Dorcas, Marlene and Mary, and most of the ship content is based on fanon. We know Dorcas was an amazing Quidditch player who was so much of a thorn to the Death Eaters that Voldemort killed her himself, and that's insane, that's pretty dope of her. All we know about Marlene is that she and her family were all wiped out by Death Eaters. All we know about Mary is she was Lily's friend and was attacked by Mulciber while at school. I like the fanon version of Dorcas/Marlene from what I've seen of it in fanart, but I wouldn't consume fic content of any of these ships. I just don't feel anything from them.

Regulus/James/Barty/Evan: No.

James/Barty: James deserves better.

Regulus/Rabastan: This ship feels very one sided forceful to me, especially considering what we know of Rabastan. Big yikes, stay in Azkaban creep.

Regulus/Mary: No vibes.

Dorcas/Mary: No opinion.

Mary/Lily/Pandora: I like poly rep but no opinion here.

Lily/Pandora: Well, they're both brilliant witches? So I guess? But I wouldn't seek out content.

Bellatrix/Rita: Two psycho bitches, they're perfect for each other. Jk, no opinion.

Bellatrix/Pandora: Pandora deserves better.

Harry/Blaise: This does not spark joy.

Harry/Draco: OH YAY! One of my biggest NOTPs! No, I genuinely fucking hate drarry. No drarry in my house, I'm sorry. I won't rant about it, but big no. I don't even see them becoming friends in the future.

Hermione/Draco: Absolutely not. Mega hate this ship. Bleck.

Draco/Ron: Weirdly enough I hate this less than dramione and drarry but still no thanks, would never seek out content. There's only one person for Draco in my mind and it is not Ron (sorry Ron I still love you).

Harry/Ron: Same energy as Ginny/Luna tbh it's cute, I accept, yes plz, friends to lovers is just so lovely, wonderful, fantastic, they'd be so goddamn cute, like oh my god. See I think I'd actually read Harry/Ron fic. Five stars.

Harry/Draco/Ron: No.

Harry/Pansy, Ron/Pansy: Again. Hate Pansy with a burning passion. Idk why I just hate her. Maybe she grew out of her bitchiness, I hope she did, I hope she found happiness and got married and is happy. Just not with Harry or Ron. Not my vibe, zero stars.

Harry /Theo, Hermione/Theo: Pretty sure Theo's in Azkaban rn. What we know about him is pretty interesting and I can get behind playing around with his character buuuuut I don't really see the interest in these ships.

Harry/Hermione: Nah, I was never into this as a ship. Friends? Yeah, duh. Romantically? Nah.

Tonks/Fleur: Okay I actually really dislike this ship because it always came across as only existing for the sole purpose of wolfstar shippers to load Tonks off with someone else to get her out of the way. And they put her with another woman because WOW SO DIVERSE! I just could never get over that bitterness, sorry. I'm sure there's some shippers out there who enjoy them for a genuine reason, but I just can't ever get over it. Plus Fleur and Bill are just too cute.

Remus/Regulus: Nah, not my thing. Ya'll have fun though.

James/Peter: Imma be real I don't even think James would have been friends with Peter if it hadn't been for Remus. So as a ship? Definitely not.

Remus/James: I... really like this ship actually. I wouldn't seek out content, but I've seen some really sweet fanart of them.

James/Mary, Remus/Mary: Again very hard ships to get into because who even is Mary. No opinion.

Marlene/Sirius: I know this is a mega popular Sirius ship, second popular after THAT ship, but I don't ship Sirius with anyone because I headcanon him as a very sex indifferent aroace man. I see any Sirius ship and just go "meh".

[wreckofawriter]

Jelly Slugs

Pairing: Harry Potter x reader

Word Count: 2,278

Warnings: Swearing, a little angsty, still plenty of fluff

Song to Set the Vibe: broken ~ lovelytheband

Request: @mcluuvin666 hi could i request a harry potterxreader in which the reader & harry always seem to find each other in the hospital wing at the end of each year because of harry’s adventures & somehow she always ends up hurt in a funny/ironic way even though it wasn’t her intention to get caught in their messes if that makes sense? either way harry & the reader get really close throughout years of ending up in the hospital wing w the reader being frustrated w the trio bc they’re the “reason” why she’s hurt and she’s just kinda like “you lot are going to be the death of me” but harry and reader end up going out anyway. lots of fluff and maybe angst if you can? thank you so much!!

A/n: Once agian so sorry this took so long! It may not be completely edited, excuse typos, I wrote litteratly all of it tonight. I'm trying to burn through my requets, if u sent one I got it I'm just waiting to get to it

    At eleven years old you had already had far too many near-death experiences, for you that meant one. You hadn’t meant to do anything at all, well except grab some snacks from the kitchen after hours, but it wasn’t anything you hadn’t done before. On your way back your ears had picked up a sweet symphony and you had grown curious. 

Turning a few unfamiliar corners you found the room, its heavy door ajar. You pushed it all the way open, a pastry still stuffed in your mouth preventing you from screaming. A large three-headed beast lay in front of you snoring loudly. Before you could turn and run your eyes found a small wooden trap door at its feet. The phrase your mother often scolded you with echoed in your head, Curiosity killed the cat. You about turned on your heel but then the ending of the saying learned from an equally mischievous classmate came to you, But satisfaction brought it back. 

You dropped the food in your hands and walked hesitantly towards the large dog. You then quietly opened the door, cringing as its hinges squeaked and peered inside being met with complete darkness. You were going to close the door retrieve your treats then head back to your dorm but as you turned you met a pair of brilliantly green eyes and you let out a yelp before stumbling backward and plunging into the hole with a scream. You were soon followed by three of your classmates almost as confused as you were. 

You ended up getting your arm broken by a giant chess piece on your way to retrieve something you didn’t fully understand and what you believed to be a curse began. 

You sat up in a cold sweat the image of a white stone queen drawing her sword waking you with a start. You rubbed your eyes only to find your left arm in a sling and aching a bit.

“Oh, good you’re awake.”

You turned to your right to see a little boy in round glasses smiling at you. “What happened last night?” you asked eyes wide.

“It’s a long story, but I suppose we have time.” He shrugged, “Jelly slug?” he offered holding out a colorfully wrapped package. 

“Yes please.”

Second year began as normal as it should have but it was soon strange and dangerous, pearlized classmates and strict rules making the school feel less and less like a home. Of course, your luck being about as bad as it got, you where the last victim of the basilisk. 

You had been polishing trophies to serve detention which you got for supposedly bad-mouthing Snape although it wasn’t your fault Draco was a filthy snitch. You then saw a large pair of yellow eyes in the shining metal and everything went dark.

You woke up four days later body aching eyes feeling extremely dry as you blinked vigorously. You had a strange sense of deja vu as the hospital wing soon came into view. Head once again thumping as you tried to recall your memories. 

“Oh right, you're here.”

You turned your head to the right to see a wide smile, green eyes hidden behind round glasses as cuts riddled the boy’s face. 

“Merlin Harry, what happened to you?” You gasped taking in his battered form. 

He shrugged, “I fought Voldemort.”

You cringed at the name but said nothing of it to him, “Again?” 

He laughed, “Yeah, this time it hurt more though.” 

“I’m glad you’re okay.” You grinned at him.

His cheeks reddened a bit, “Yeah, I’m glad you’re okay too.” 

You fell into an uncomfortable silence before Harry reached to his bedside table and offered you a tissue-wrapped box, “Jelly Slug?” 

You nodded taking it from him

Third-year had been downright dreadful for you. You were finally a teenager which basically meant everything that had been easy and quick now seemed to take hours and far too much thought. Every little thing you did you were sure would be scrutinized, it didn’t help when a close friend of yours spread a nasty rumor about you and you found yourself skipping classes and opting to stay in bed. A serial killer being on the loose certainly didn’t help. 

The only sort of decent thing that happened was your friendship with Harry, after two times of healing in the hospital wing together you decided to be at least acquaintances. You held study sessions with the boy and occasionally his two best friends although all they did was bicker.  

You also happened to be outside reading when a rat lept on you and dove down your shirt leading to you being dragged into a tree by a dog who turned out to be a serial killer who turned out to be Harry’s godfather. But to be honest you didn’t really care.

You were absolutely livid, your leg was torn apart and for the third time in a row you had somehow been shoved into an adventure you most certainly didn’t want to take part in and you were bleeding heavily because of it. 

Oh yes, how could you forget? You were also almost killed by your professor, who had turned into a werewolf just in time to almost kill you again. 

When you woke up in the hospital wing with the golden trio surrounding you, you weren’t so pleasant.

A string of foul curse words, pointing fingers and yelling was shot at the three teens who apologized profusely insisting they did not mean to get you caught up in their business. 

You eventually calmed down and found out it wasn’t all that bad considering you got to see the suddenly very attractive dark-haired boy who made a point to spend all of his free time in the hospital wing with you as your leg healed. You shared a large amount of jelly slugs as you read muggle books and did your best to stay on top of studies.

Fourth year was much better than the last. You and Harry spent more and more time together and you felt a large crush on the boy who lived growing. Hermione knew about it instantly and Ron seemed adamant to tease both of you just for the joy of watching your faces flush. But good things never lasted.

You had a heart attack when Harry’s name came out of the goblet and found yourself taking his side in a sudden war between him and Ron. The bitch of a journalist Rita Skita also plastered you and Harry’s face all over the daily prophet when she caught you hugging him before his first task. You went with Harry to the ball although to both of your disappointment only as friends. And you ended up comforting Hermione in the hallway anyway. 

You also were almost drowned by your sorry excuse for teachers in the second task. Never one to back down from a fight you yelled directly at Dumbledor and Karkaroff saying how if your name wasn’t pulled out of that idiotic goblet than you shouldn’t have to almost die for the even more idiotic tournament. Of course, you did this with a very colorful vocabulary that landed you three weeks of detention. 

When Harry pulled Cedric from the maze you had cheered clapping along with the band until suddenly you heard the boy wail like a wounded animal. You raced down to meet him and helped pull him off of the elder boy’s body.

He was shaking the entire time and when you finally managed to drag him away he buried his head into your neck and sobbed. 

Harry was then dragged away by Mad-Eye and you were quick to follow, bursting in on the two just as Moody no longer became Moody. 

“Harry!” You yelled diving at the quickly transforming man who was holding him at wand point. 

Your body suddenly erupted in such harsh pain you thought you might throw up. 

“Y/n!” Harry’s yells fell on deaf ears as the unforgivable curse took all of your attention. 

By the time Harry was able to disarm the man, you had passed out from the pain. 

You woke up in the hospital wing three days later a disheveled Harry seated in a chair next to you his arms folded on your bed his head resting on them. 

When you tapped his shoulder lightly he jolted awake immediately engulfing you in his embrace sobbing out apologies as you pushed yourself closer into his chest. 

“I’m so so sorry y/n, I never meant for you to be caught up in any of this.” He choked out pulling away from you and cupping your face in his hands. 

“It’s okay Harry, I’m okay.” You spoke smiling weakly feeling extremely exhausted. 

“But he used an unforgivable cu-” 

“I don’t care, I’m just happy you’re okay.” You interrupted leaning into the soft circles his thumb was drawing on your cheek.

Harry’s eyes filled with an unidentifiable emotion and suddenly his lips were on your own. 

The second they connected he backed away blushing so heavily you were sure he was hot to the touch.

“I’m so sorry y/n, I don’t know what I was thinking and I-”

You only shook your head and wrapped your hands around his neck bringing his lips back to yours. His hands ended up on either side of you as you leaned back down on the bed bringing him with you. He hovered over you, your tongue slipping into his mouth as you played with the ends of his hair. He tasted overly sugary with a hint of fruit, just like a jelly slug.

You were interrupted by a cough followed by a low chuckle and Harry immediately pulled away from you and you turned to see not only your headmaster but Professor McGonagal and Madame Pomfrey all staring at you. 

Your eyes went wide and you felt so hot you thought you might catch the sheets on fire. You stole a glance at Harry who had paled dramatically, looking sick. 

“I’m glad you��re feeling better y/n.” Dumbledore chortled. 

You hissed in at the pain that shot through your ankle. Your head had also begun to pound causing you to squeeze your eyes shut and attempt to relieve the pressure by pressing onto your temples. Fuck Umbridge. You hopped that bitch was dead, as your eyes began to adjust to the sudden brightness of your surroundings you saw an all to a familiar sight. The hospital wing had become your home away from home and now in fifth year you, it made sense you ended up there once again. 

When your psychotic headmaster dragged you, your boyfriend and your two best friends out to the forbidden forest as she was attacked by a giant she managed to hit you with some sort of spell which effectively left you in your current state. Harry who was seated beside you wrapped his arms around your waist and placed a kiss on your neck.

“You okay?” He asked he seemed stressed, then again when wasn’t he?

“I’m fine.” You lied with a smile pushing his glasses back up his nose. 

“I think you should stay here y/n/n, I can’t have you getting hurt.”  He frowned. You then took notice of the group of teenagers was behind him. They were clearly about to leave. 

“I think history has proven that kind of unavoidable at this point.” You sighed standing up and drinking whatever was on your nightstand, it turned out to be a pain medicine that tasted the equivalent of dragon piss. 

“Y/n...” Harry spoke hesitantly.

You turned to look at your boyfriend, your face set in stone. “If you don’t take me with you I will find another way to that building.” 

Harry sighed biting down on his lip, “Fine. Alright, guys, let’s go.”

Your lips twitched into a smile just as you were about to leave the room you noticed a small half-empty bag on the table next to your bed, you stuffed it into your pocket and ran after the group you had fallen behind. 

You sat silently eyelids feeling so heavy you thought they might close at any moment. Your entire body ached, your headache coming back stronger than ever, but you didn't let onto your pain. 

Harry had his head buried into your stomach as you combed through his messy hair, his sobs were the only sound in the massive black room. Sand was scattered around you as you clung to your boyfriend your back up against a black glass wall as you stared blankly ahead of you. Dumbledore stood a few feet away, seeming almost as lost as you were. Part of you hated him for putting Harry through everything he had just been through, but you knew it wasn’t his fault. 

Harry adjusted himself so his head was buried into the crook of your neck, his arms wrapped around your waist. The movement caused something in your pocket to crinkle, catching your attention. 

You reached into your robe and removed a half-empty bag of candy. You smiled in spite of yourself. 

You tapped Harry on the shoulder whispering his name. He looked up at you his eyes rimmed in red, his face blotchy, the sight made your heart throb.

“Jelly Slug?” You asked your voice cracking.

The boy let out a mix between a laugh and a sob before lightly placing his lips onto your own. He tastes salty and bitter, like tears and blood. You found yourself wishing you were elven again when everything was simple, wishing that Harry still tasted like jelly slugs. 

Taglist:

(Realizing I forgot this last fic I posted, my bad)

@accio-rogers

@roslea

@k3nz-doodl3

@theseuscmander

Masterlist

[everybodyscupoftea]

the date

pike jj x reader ft. cody and tyler

part 2: in which you begin to move on

it’s been a secret, but here’s zach :)

let me try and explain the timeline here real quick: okay so this is before the pogues come to visit, after the sick day. the timeline is a little fucked but that’s okay, we can just pretend we do not see inconsistencies :)

“Call him,” Tyler urged, nudging your leg with his foot.

“What if he says no,” you protested, “I can’t take any more rejection from men this year. Not to sound like I need men to validate me, but I’m not sure my ego can handle much more of this.”

Cody laughed, “We’ll kick his ass if he hurts your feelings.”

“I doubt you could, I’ve seen the pictures,” you scoffed.

Tyler’s jaw dropped, “Hey, I can hold my own.”

“Sure you can, scarecrow,” you teased.

He rolled his eyes, “Whatever, look, I know this guy and he’s really nice and respectful and understanding. Plus he plays baseball, I know how you feel about that.”

Raising your eyebrows, you hummed thoughtfully, “You should’ve said that immediately. I’ll call him.”

“Really?” Cody asked, “That’s all it took?”

“That’s all,” you confirmed, “now, help me come up with something to start the conversation.” -

“You can’t wear that,” Cody scoffed, looking disgusted at your outfit.

“What? Why not?”

Cody ticked reasons off on his fingers as he spoke, “First, you already had to cancel on him once because your body just shut down so the expectations and anticipation are even higher. Two, you have to really wow him because he’s only seen you looking like shit, you have to prove you’re better than that usually. And C, look good, feel good.”

You wanted to roll your eyes, but he made some pretty good arguments, “First of all, if he’s seen me only looking bad, the bar is pretty fucking low, dude.”

“Exactly, that’s why it’s so sad that you’re literally tripping over it.”

Looking down at your shorts, you crossed your arms, “Wait, what’s wrong with this outfit though?”

“No shorts,” Tyler yelled from the bathroom.

You scoffed, “Mind your business in there.”

“No, you need help.”

“Trust me, I do not need two men’s help.”

“But you do though,” Cody said, digging through your wardrobe, looking for something else.

“Dude,” you protested as he pulled out an armful’s worth of clothes.

“Options,” he told you, “I’m just trying to help.”

You sighed, “I suppose you’re right. Hit me with it.”

“Skirt,” Tyler yelled from the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” Cody asked, walking back to dig through your closet again.

“Dinner and a basketball game.”

“Oh, maybe shorts are the way to go.”

“Thank you,” you said, grabbing some clothes to put back in your closet.

“No,” Tyler interrupted, finally leaving the bathroom, “Still a skirt, but you can dress it down with a t-shirt.”

“But, shorts,” you tried to argue.

“Show off your figure, bitch,” Cody responded, shutting you down.

-

Zach picked you up from the dorms, Cody and Tyler watching you get in the car from a distance. He rolled down the window and waved at them, “See you guys around!”

“See ya, man!” Tyler yelled back.

Cody gave him a scrutinous look, “Be good!”

“No promises,” you mumbled and Zach snorted.

“Gonna be that kind of date, huh?”

Your cheeks heated, “No, I meant like, the basketball game. I get kind of into it.”

Zach pulled out onto the street and glanced over, “Hey, I was kidding, don’t stress.”

“Not stressed,” you pouted.

The restaurant he picked was one you’d surprisingly never been to and when you told him he chuckled, “You strike me as the type to have a regular.”

“I am, but I swore we tried every place near campus before establishing our regulars.”

“Well, I’m honored to show you something new.”

He parked and jogged around to open the door before you could get out. It was, unusual, but you weren’t complaining. Zach walked slightly behind you, hand hovering near your back as if he wasn’t sure whether he could touch you or not.

You paused and he walked into you, hand brushing against you, and cleared his throat, “Fuck, sorry.”

“You can touch me, you know?”

Zach blushed, “Well, I didn’t want to assume.”

“That’s very sweet, but I think we’re past the point of casual touches after you spent an entire day taking care of me. And, technically, we’re dating.”

“Well, we agreed it was the fever talking and we’d actually go on a date before making that decision.”

“I’m a modern woman,” you waved his words away, “caution to the wind.”

Zach laughed and held the restaurant’s door open for you, “Fair enough. Takes a lot of pressure off for tonight.”

“Were you nervous?” you teased.

“Well, yeah. You’re so pretty and funny and smart, and I want to impress you.”

Your jaw dropped and your ears felt hot, “I,” you cleared your throat, “well, thank you. Consider me impressed,”

“Good,” Zach smiled, picking up the menu the hostess had sat in front of him. He flipped through it and nudged your foot with his, “By the way, the meatball subs here fucking slap.”

“Oh yeah?”

“If I remember correctly, you told me once that meatball subs were your go-to for testing out Italian restaurants.”

“I, yeah they are, um, when did I say that?”

“You snapped me a picture of a meatball sub from Subway one night super late when you were drunk and told me about it.”

“Right, and you just…remembered?”

“Well of course, I had to pick a place with a fire meatball sub for you. Good impression, remember?”

“Yeah, I’m starting to get the picture.”

He smiled and nudged your foot with his again, “Ready to order?”

“Guess I’m trying the meatball sub.”

When the waitress came back, Zach let you order first and then ordered his food and a bottle of wine for the table. You raised your eyebrows as she inspected his ID and told the two of you it’d be out shortly.

“I’m 20,” you told him.

“But I’m 21, and I know you drink.”

“Touché.”

“This wine is really good. Admittedly, I don’t know everything, all my knowledge is by proxy, my uncle owns a winery in Napa, but I know some.”

You nodded, fully impressed, “Good enough for me.”

Zach laughed, “Good to know.”

The wine and the sub were excellent, right on par with the company. Zach kept you laughing through the whole meal, the conversation staying alive without things getting awkward.

“Wait wait wait,” he laughed, pausing to take a sip of wine, “you’re telling me that Tyler actually went as Hermione?”

“Full wig and everything!”

“Fuck, wish I could’ve seen pictures of that.”

“Oh, I have some,” you reassured.

Zach dissolved into laughter again, taking your phone from you to scroll through. The smile dropped after a few seconds and he swiped up on a notification, locking your phone. Your heart dropped and you smiled uncertainly as he said, “Ready for dessert?”

“Yeah, I saw lava cake on the menu. Is everything okay?”

“I think so, you just got some passive aggressive texts from a JJ.”

You rolled your eyes, “What did he say?”

“Something about being a bad friend and abandoning them. I think it was supposed to sound like a joke, but that’s not the vibe it really portrayed.”

“Yeah, he’s been a real dick lately.”

Zach’s eyebrows shot up and he leaned forward, “Wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t really want to kill the mood,” you laughed humorlessly.

“You aren’t if I’m asking.”

“Well, if you want the whole truth, I kinda liked him. And then he started dating this girl Brooke, and she’s the fucking worst. She literally hates me for no reason and JJ doesn’t say anything in my defense when she treats me like shit.”

“Ah, I’m sorry to hear that. You deserve a better friend.”

“Not so sure about that, clearly karma has it out for me.”

“We’ve only known each other for a short time, but I think you’re incredible and you don’t deserve to be treated that way by a friend. Is that the guy you were telling me about, the reason you want to take things slow? Because I think I understand now.”

Your eyes filled with tears at his earnest words, “Yeah, it is, and wow, you’re actually the best.”

Zach laughed just as the waitress set the lava cake and two spoons between the two of you, “I try.”

Shortly after finishing, Zach paid and the two of you left the restaurant hand in hand. He opened the car door for you again and smiled, hand on your knee. You gave him a wobbly smile and patted his hand, “Thanks.”

“Anytime, seriously. Ready for some basketball?”

“Always.”

-

When you got back to your dorm JJ, Cody, and Tyler were all sitting on the floor outside your room, half empty bottle of flavored vodka between JJ’s fingers. His eyes were fluttering and you could tell he was gone.

Tyler smiled apologetically, “I’m so sorry. He was threatening to come here alone so we decided to come as buffers.”

You snorted, “Real mature, J. Saw you blowing up my phone while I was at dinner.”

“With who?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I met someone.”

“We’re best friends, of course it’s my business.”

“Are we?”

You didn’t give him time to answer before going inside your dorm and letting the door slam shut between you and the boys. There was a slapping noise and Cody said, “Bro I know you’re not going to remember this tomorrow, but for fuck’s sake.”

JJ made a wounded noise, “What if he’s a dick?”

Going on your tiptoes to look through the peephole, you managed to catch Tyler’s shrug, “Dude, I’m not sure what to tell you other than that he’s a good guy.”

“Is he good enough?” JJ countered, arms crossing sloppily.

“Is Brooke good enough?” Cody asked, not even looking up from where he was kicking at the floor.

“Brooke is great,” JJ slurred defensively.

“Great at being the absolute worst,” Tyler scoffed.

You fought back a laugh and walked away from the door. JJ wasn’t going to ruin your night.

[unfortunatelysirius]

DATING HARRY POTTER AS A HUFFLEPUFF WOULD INCLUDE:

NOTE: Hey, apologies for going AWOL. I’m back to ruin fanfiction.

❁ Oh Merlin, there’s a lot of stereotypes about Hufflepuffs. They’re pushovers, they’re losers, they’re cowards, they’re useless, they’re lousy at duels—all sorts, none of it really true. Even the Golden Trio was guilty for thinking it! Ah, Hufflepuff, seemed like the lesser House from afar.

❁ Then Harry met you.

❁ Harry only knew what his friends told him of Hufflepuffs. Hermione didn’t really have an opinion, just that she barely saw their work ethic and suspected they spent a lot of their time with the kitchen elves. Ron was bold with his, claiming they didn’t have a courageous bone in their body. With a lack of any real friends from Hufflepuffs, Harry didn’t disagree.

❁ One day Harry saw you sneaking into the restricted section of the library. You went undetected and looked like you’d done it hundreds of time when you snagged a book Harry couldn’t read the name of then went on your way. Harry was baffled. The only indication of who you were was the yellow tie he saw before you went dancing into the night. And Hufflepuffs? They didn’t seem like rulebreakers and risktakers.

❁ Harry told Hermione and Ron about what he saw and neither of them believed him. So he honestly believed he was seeing colors and the person that stole a book was from another house, not a Hufflepuff. But his curiosity got the better of him so he looked at every person he saw to see if they matched the figure he saw that night. The figure was lithe and limber, able to not make a sound.

❁ Not looking for a Hufflepuff in particular really failed him… none of the other houses had someone with behavior even close. Then again, he didn’t get a chance to truly analyze the figure before it was gone. He was grasping for straws with what little he had to go on, but he was just so damned determined to find out who it was. The figure was graceful and if he had to go with a fifty-fifty, he wanted to say the figure was a girl. Yeah, he’d go with that to cut down half his prospects.

❁ Harry had you in his Transfiguration class. He didn’t give you the light of day until one fateful class period when you got up to hand in an essay and Harry’s eyes followed you up the aisle. You were light-footed and quick, a grace to you unmatched by the identity-less night thief. That’s when he hit him—you were the culprit and he wasn’t imagining things about a Hufflepuff tie!

❁ He confronted you after class. It didn’t go so well. You didn’t like the idea of him seeing you take a book and tried to play it off like you’d never do such a thing; sadly for you, the Chosen One was chosen in what he’d “let go.” That was one of the few things he wanted to pursue. It became a cycle: you tried removing yourself from his radar, he reappeared to interrogate you, you’d threaten to hit him with a knee-locking spell, he’d back off and it started again. He was cute and aggravating, neither so good together. You grew frustrated and Harry? He was like a damn dog trailing after a slab of meat.

❁ Finally after weeks of enduring him following you wherever you went, you had finally had enough. You slapped him in the face and told him to bugger off before you turned him into a toad. All these threats aside, you thought maybe he’d leave you alone if you were to outright say it, but Harry hadn’t gotten his answers yet—and as a bloke who’d investigate his heart out for the right price, nothing could break his stride… or his pride.

❁ Ugh, how was he not bored yet?

❁ You gave him an ultimatum: if you told him the name of the book you stole and why you even took from the restricted section in the first place, he needed to forget you existed and stop being your shadow. Harry agreed. The two of you went somewhere alone and out of earshot from his nosy buddies and anyone else who loved to overhear things they shouldn’t, and once there, you told him your motivations. You needed a book on the history of dark magic because you were learning how to withstand Dark Arts curses in the case the war tried taking you as a casualty. You explained how your father was killed when you were a month old because of dark magic and you didn’t want to have that happen to you or your family again.

❁ Harry could see this was personal so for once, he was pretty serious (but not serious Sirius). And to your shock, he apologized for basically being your stalker. Then to your immense displeasure, he informed you of something else: he didn’t want to forget your existence.

❁ “What the bloody Hell, Harry? We agreed to this!” you cried out in protest.

❁ The arsehole didn’t look fazed. 

❁ Harry very suavely told you he fancied you and for the last few weeks he was only following you around because he felt leaving you alone would make you never give him the time of day again. Truthfully you probably never would have—he was a Gryffindor and Gryffindors did ridiculously stupid things and acted like bastards half the time. All houses had their flaws but Harry was many things: brave, oblivious, mad, and arrogant. A lot of those traits were none you particularly fancied yourself… but upon Harry’s confession, you could see yourself looking past all that.

❁ You agreed to let bygones be bygones and give Harry a chance to show you that he was more than your weird stalker/frenemy… Would you regret it? Yeah, probably. If he drew his friends into messes that were potentially lethal, you sure as hell would get the same bewildering stories to tell your future children.

❁ Good thing Hufflepuffs were badasses, too.

❁ Story aside, the two of you are a power couple.

❁ Oh, who thought a Hufflepuff couldn’t be powerful? Slytherins, Gryffindors? Well, they’re wrong.

❁ You’re an absolute beast at magic and yeah, Harry’s the Chosen One, but you’re only the tiniest bit beneath his level; he’s got the title but a match-up between you and Harry is not something anyone has the balls to face.

❁ You guys are the cute, playful couple and the warriors-on-their-way-to-battle couple.

❁ Your favorite place to go on dates to is the Three Broomsticks for Butterbeer and to people-watch. Harry’s a nosy Norman and likes to eavesdrop (and secretly, you’re not so opposed).

❁ He can be shy. He’s confident most of the time, then there’s these moments of vulnerability where he’ll go on self-pity tirades that he doesn’t deserve you and he hates putting you in danger. Cute of him to worry, but you’re a badass, remember? It’s up to you to remind him you’d leave if you really wanted to, but sometimes it’s good to let him see that himself. Bad bitches do what they want when they say they want.

❁ You hate Cho Chang with a passion when she starts making eyes at Harry. If you didn’t value your education or fear Umbridge, you’d relinquish any dignity you have left and start a cat fight.

❁ Harry’s loyal and sweet. You’d think he wouldn’t be, being the cocky prat he is at times, but damn, he knows how to defy expectations. When the two of you are together he has no eyes for anyone but you.

❁ He says, “I love you,” first. Big surprise.

❁ He’s a really passionate lover. Like, really passionate. He doesn’t give off the vibe, but man, oh man… he’s got moves.

❁ Harry truly takes every predisposed thought you had of him and basically shoots them all to Hell—just as you do his expectations of Hufflepuffs.

❁ Perfect match made in Merlin’s cauldron, huh?

❁ Nah, perfect match made in Hell.

[thealtoduck]

New Harry Potter OC: Dani Kordei

(You know how we all have that one Harry Potter OC that is part of the Golden Trio…(Don’t lie you have one too) Yeah this is mine)

Faceclaim: Joshua Forsberg

Full name: Dani Kordei

Inspirations:

Daphne Blake from Scooby doo (I thought of this after watching some Scooby Doo and i thougt Harry = Fred, Hermione = Velma and Ron = Shaggy. So i decided that i wanted to create a character with a Daphne vibe.)

Olivia Rodrigo’s Good 4 u music video (Idk i just loved the vibe of Cheerleader wearing long sleeve leather gloves.)

Santana Lopez from Glee (Mostly because he’s ready to throw hands)

Elle Woods from Legally Blonde (He has the vibe of i can be pretty and smart)

Gender: Male

Nationality: English

Birthdate: 23 August 1980

Blood Status: Half Veela

House: Gryffindor

Wand: Alder, Dragon Heartstring, 9 inches, Solid.

Patronus: Undecided.

Boyfriend: Undecided but totally had a crush on Oliver Wood and Charlie Weasley.

Personality: (idk i’m very bad at describing personalities but i’ll try) He’s basically that one really popular person that you really can’t dislike. He’s friendly, upbeat, kind and up for an adventure. Though he can also be slightly too focused on his appearance at times. He’s also a very protective friend as he is ready to smack a bitch if they insult his friends (I wanna make a small fic about him fighting Draco after he calls Hermione mudblood). He’s also the kind of person who can’t deal with being bored for a single second example every history of magic lesson he smuggles in a Witch Weekly magazine and hides it in his book and reads it while Professor Binns is teaching in his boring fashion.

Best Friend:

Hermione Granger

They are kind of like the friendship that no one understands how it happened. Since Dani is the most popular student in their year known for being extroverted and Hermione is the schools know it all known for sitting alone or with Harry and Ron doing her homework the same day they got it. But there they are sitting together talking and laughing.

Strengths:

He’s usually quite good at keeping his emotions in check.

Transfiguration

Cooking

Potions

He knows a lot of the Hogwarts gossip.

He’s very detail oriented.

Healing spells

Weaknesses:

Like mentioned earlier he can think a little to much about his appearance and hates getting dirty.

He’s really sensitive and gets insecure when someone calls him a half-breed and insults his veela heritage.

Fear of any sort of dangerous magical or non-magical creatures.

Eaisily bored.

Mini playlist:

Walking On Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves

”I'm walking on sunshine”

Nasty by Janet Jackson

”Better be a gentleman or you'll turn me off”

”The only nasty thing I like is a nasty groove”

”I'm not a prude I just want some respect”

Good 4 U by Olivia Rodrigo

”I've lost my mind, I've spent the night Cryin' on the floor of my bathroom But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it But I guess good for you”

”Maybe I'm too emotional but your apathy's like a wound in salt”

You Should Be Sad by Halsey

”Got no anger, got no malice Just a little bit of regret”

”I'm just glad I made it out without breaking down and then ran so fucking far that you would never ever touch me again won't see your alligator tears 'cause know I've had enough of them”

”I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you 'cause you can't love nothing unless there's something in it for you”

Rythm Nation by Janet Jackson

”Let's work together to improve our way of life join voices in protest to social injustice a generation full of courage, come forth with me”

”Things are getting worse, we have to make them better it's time to give a damn, let's work together”

”Sing it, people, say it, children, sing it if you want a better way of life”

[zodiacrant]

Signs as good people with a bad bitch vibe from movies and tv shows (Aries-Virgo)

Aries (Rose Nylund from The Golden Girls)

Taurus (Cher from Clueless)

Gemini (Kevin McCallister from Home Alone)

Cancer (Miss Honey from Matilda)

Leo (Elle Woods from Legally Blonde)

Virgo (Hermione Granger from Harry Potter)

[im-a-meteorite]

i’ve been marathoning the harry potter movies since im in quarantine and i’ve been taking some notes. i’ll post them all bc why not 

sorcerer’s stone

harry knowing that there’s no post on sunday,, a genius

hedwig’s theme playing when harry looks out of the window and sees an owl flying by, very nice

hagrid doing magic at the house on the rock thing,, wouldnt the ministry be able to track that?? since there’s no wizard that lives there, they should be alerted?? or did they remove the trace from hagrid once he got expelled?? like does it work by the trace only or? bc if it doesn’t work by location then how would they know that a muggle witnessed the magic?? idk anymore

the kids staring at the nimbus 2000 and saying its the fastest model yet,, then the camera zooming on the handle w/ the background blurred -> the most straight forward foreshadowing

hagrid is actually the worst person to take harry on his tour situation,, like bro literally left him in the middle of a train station

the weasleys and harry going to the platform while theres a shit ton of ppl walking around,,, statute of secrecy where??

the great hall is on the first floor?? i thought it was on the ground floor

ew the hats

i wish the movies had dumbledore’s weird few words speeches

“theres not one witch or wizard that went bad that wasnt in slytherin” broooo

mcgonagall is so savage i love her

snape is an asshole

a crap ton of chessboards in the great hall study hall scene,, foreshadowing the challenges?

madam hooch really yeeted herself out of neville’s way

✨🥰 oliver wood 🥰✨✨

harry really wiped the troll buggers on his robe,, disgusting

snapes hair is lowkey on fleek tho,,

making most of the slytherins ugly bc they’re the “evil” house is just a disservice to all the inbreeding

hermione setting snape on fire is truly iconic and very extra tbh like sis why tf would u know a spell like that

seasonal transition wasnt that great tbh

overall the directing style is kinda basic

“not in the restricted section,,” rule breaking hermione is the best hermione

dumbledore’s handwriting is so extra and loopy like tf?? but it fits his character

the hedwig flying season transition was good

“immortal?” “it means you’ll never die.” “i know what it means!”

50 points each for being out of bed??? wtf is this point system

filtch saying there’s werewolves in the forbidden forest,,, thats illegal sir

hagrid calling the trio by their first names but draco by his last,, we love favoritism

harry’s thoughts r so ridiculous,, “snape doesnt want the stone for himself, he wants it for voldemort!” lmaoo wtf,, evidence pls sir,, u don’t even know he was a death eater. was it the bad vibes?? bc same

harry figuring out that the person who gave hagrid the dragon egg is voldy,, a genius

“kill us faster?? now i can relax!!” ron is so iconic i love him

“lucky we didnt panic!” “lucky hermione pays attention in herbology”

how is it that harry’s hand burned quirrel but not the skin on harry’s neck?? that shit makes no sense

yeah i really cant imagine this dumbledore fighting voldy in movie 5

hermione’s headband in the reunion scene is so cute i love it

chamber of secrets:

how is dobby even allowed to just jump on the bed?? like is it bc harry isnt his master that he can do smth like that

“dobby has heard about harry potter’s kindness” or whatever,, bro u work for the malfoys either the elves gossip or draco is waxing poetry about harry

aunt petunia saying “we have ice-cream” after that whole affair is just ridiculous

DIAGONALLY

this seems like the extended version bc i dont remember the borgin and bruks scene to be that long

the close ups with lucius and ginny’s books r insane lmao like chris columbus made it so obvious

also mr weasley’s acting is so funny like its so exaggerated

lucius malfoy is so dramatic and extra we love it

also lucius knowing hermione’s name and “draco’s told me all about you”??? bro whats with draco?? lmaoo

snape really got mad with the whole car business

mandrakes r fucking weird bro how did jkr come up with that

PERCY WALKING WITH PENELOPE CLEARWATER??? HOW DID I MISS THAT??

omg colin had so many lines?? wow

omg erol with the fucking howler,, iconic

ron’s facial expressions?? pure comedy, rupret is so good

LOCKHEART REALLY SAID “GOOD GIRL” THEN WINKED AT HERMIONE

“pesky piksy pescinomy” this bitch dumb

“why is it always me?” poor neville

omfg ✨🥰 oliver wood 🥰✨

ahh using the seeker position for fighting

ew draco used the m-word

the shit the basilisk is saying is so lame lmaoo

how does harry not recognize that he’s hearing a different language?? or does parsaltongue act weird

HOW IS THE WHOLE SCHOOL IN THE SAME CORRIDOR???

“i know the counter-curse that could’ve spared her” bitch the dirty looks he got?? omfg

the movies would’ve been 500% better if they had lee jordan’s iconic quidditch commentary

“scarhead” “TRAINING FOR THE BALLET, POTTER?”

“what did you expect?? pumpkin juice??” madam pomfery is a queen

dobby is dumb dumb

“who am i, hedwig? what am i?”

“reading? i didnt know you could read?”

“look at my face” “look at your tail!”

“you can’t cancel quidditch!”

“oh harry, if you die down there, you’re welcome to share my toilet”

lockheart: do you live here? ron: no *smacks him in the head with a rock*

“voldemort is my past, present and future” are all slytherins this dramatic??

the tension between hermione and ron in the last feast was insane

justin filtch fletchy is so ugly im so sorry i cant

prisoner of azkaban:

im sorry but harry doing underage illegal magic pisses me off every time

aunt marge 🤢

“do they use a cane boy?” “oh yeah, i’ve been beaten loads of times”

that whole scene is so chaotic

“you cant do magic outside of school!” “oh yeah? try me”

sirius really dumb for barking at harry like it makes no sense

the knight bus is probably one of the best things in this movie

“whatcha doing down there??” “i fell over” “whacha fell over for?” “i didnt do it on purpose!” “well come on then, lets not wait for the grass to grow”

harry leans over and looks for the grim, stan: “whatcha looking at?”

“yeah take it away ernie,, its gonna be a bumpy ride”

this whole thing is written and directed so perfectly

i hate how they replaced tom bc it really made no sense

all the bits of magic in the leaky caldron is so genius

fudge reminds me of trump but like dumber

the blue lighting and coloring is just great, it fits the colder vibe of the story (not like HBP with the hazy/blurry effect)

ugh the glass and mirror transitions are one of my favorite things,, alfonso curon really did that 

i love the weasleys,, also everyone looks great in this movie

omg the scene with arthur talking to harry about sirius with the sirius poster always being in sight?? amazing

contrast of light and darkness just echos the whole dementor vs patronus situation

i dont even understand why remus took the train other than for the nostalgia

the lights slowly turning off in the different carriages?? amazing

the visual representation of the dementors’ effect is great

REMUS!!!

i wish there was more emotion from remus when he’s talking about sirius,, like that was one of his only friends

snape clapping literally twice for remus,, ajhshsh

ahh the placement of the slytherin and gryffindor tables right beside each other to increase the tension and further the plot

oh yea the new dumbledore, also cool hat he has

omg the new fat lady painting

omg the candy scene?? so cute i love lads being lads. that scene just echo’s dumbledore’s light in the dark quote bc its storming outside at night and they’re creating a happy environment within the dark especially with the dementors

ah yes the clock references + following the bird to show us important parts of hogwarts and putting the whomping willow in the forefront

ron’s reading of harry’s tea leaves,, still on point tho. ron really has a knack for divination

buckbeak! omg drapple

draco is so hot especially with that ring also the slytherin pins??

“oh yeah, terribly funny, really witty. god, this place has gone to the dogs”

the kids look so messy i love it + harry’s uneven tie

HERMIONE CLINGING TO RONS ARM!!

“its killed me! your gonna regret this, you and your bloody chicken”

omg the boggart lesson

“riddikulus!” “this class is ridiculous”

fuck snape!

draco really pushed someone with his bandaged arm

remus is such an amazing professor i love him and i just miss him so much

ugh harry in this hoodie?? amazing

remus and harry’s conversation with the music :(( lily :((

wtf is that eye painting??

percy screaming about being head boy,, bro stfu

sirius is such a dramatic little bitch i love it

seasonal changes marked by the wimping willow

“turn to page 394”

what a fucking rude ass bitch,, i hate snape

harry really be seeing the grim everywhere

i wish they had “wheres wood?” “trying to drown himself in the shower”

winter transition with hedwig! + clock tower

“come and join the big boys”

i just adore this scene of the twins giving harry the map (bro i really want a series about the marauders)

whos that skinny bitch with draco???

harry’s way too rash tbh

also mcgonagall being also too nonchalant about the whole marauder’s situation?? like those werent your students

remus is a soft boy dark academia icon

if only dumbledore wasnt a dumbass,, remus could have been uncle moony raising harry with sirius

ron’s nightmare scene?? iconic

“my dad didnt strut. nor do i” umm james potter was also a drama queen sooo probably strutting

“you, YOU FOUL LOATHSOME EVIL LITTLE COCKROACH” “hermione no, he’s not worth it”

sirius’ dog form really looks like a rabid dog omfg

the part where hermione grabs harry while she’s on the wimping willow omfg

“only one will die tonight” YOU DRAMATIC BITCH UR NOT MAKING THIS BETTER

“finally the flesh reflects the madness within” “well you’d know all about the madness within, wouldn’t you remus?”

why the fuck is the shreaking shack is swaying in the wind??

QUARRELING LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE

why the fuck didnt they knock peter out?? like tf?? they’re actually dumb dumb there were so many ways for this to go right

this man really sent 2 13-year-olds on this dumbass mission

buckbeak really beat up remus,, “professor lupin’s having a really tough night”

harry’s a fucking psycho with this patronus bullshit,, i cant

can they stop screaming while flying on buckbeak?? someone might hear them

im still mad sirius didnt get his name cleared,, so much would’ve changed

“we did it” “did what? goodnight” i fucking hate dumbledore and his mindlessness omfg sometimes i wanna punch him in the face

fuck snape for outing remus as a werewolf,,, but also he really didnt have to resign. like istg wheres the marauder energy when it comes to defying everyone??

i wish the movies had went into the marauders’ history :(( its one of my favorite aspects of the series

[halfincubus]

got tagged by @riosgoodgirll for this game like [checks notes] almost two weeks ago, sorry it’s super late but it got long because I ramble about ladies I like

rules: list 10 different female faves from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people 

under cut, because it really did get long

1.       Farscape – Aeryn Sun Where do I start with her? She is everything. She’s one of the earliest examples that I can remember seeing on tv of a strong female character that has trouble connecting to her emotions, while the male counterpart of her pairing is the one who wanted to talk about his feelings. She’s also a tough soldier for a dodgy race of militant space-humans (but not really humans) whose sole purpose in life is to fight and die, and through her relationship with her fellow shipmates, learns that there’s more to life than following orders and killing people. I just love her more than words can say. She definitely broke the mould.

 2.       True Blood – Jessica God, she’s so sweet. I love her character growth. She goes from this god-fearing teen girl, to spoilt, angry goth baby vamp, to total sweetheart with a serious vicious streak when it comes to protecting those she loves. Also she’s more beautiful than I have words for and I am so gay. Like, I could look at her for hours, wow what a face.

 3.       Buffy the vampire slayer – Buffy The OG strong female lead, the first of many in my life. Also one half of my first foray into enemies to lovers shipping – you never forget your first, as they say! I love her cheery wisecracks as she kicks vampire ass, the way she mimes staking, and her bouncy shampoo-commercial-hair

 4.       Harry Potter – Hermione I saw so much of myself in her when I was a young, frizzy-haired bookworm that I immediately identified with her, hard, and she’s left a permanent mark on my heart. I only liked her more as the series went on and more of her ‘flaws’ were layered onto her character, which really brought her to life in my mind. I say ‘flaws’ because I fucking love how vindictive she is and how much of a flaw is being intelligent enough to find dirt on people that you can blackmail them with, really? Especially if they’re sucky people. When she doesn’t like someone she absolutely destroys them, mad respect.

 5.       Penny Dreadful – Vanessa Ives I have a type, and she is it. Dark, brooding and with otherworldly good looks (I still remember Eva Green as the witch Serafina Pekkala the best) I still can’t recall her character without getting a pang in my chest. The show’s ending DID HER SO DIRTY but we won’t get into that, I’m just gonna talk about why she’s my fave, I promise. She is so mentally strong and yet simultaneously so fragile at the same time, I want to take care of her so bad. The Devil with a capital D has been trying to possess her all her life, and she is in constant mental battle against him, and she just never stopped trying (until the stupid finale but we aren’t talking about that!) and she’s so strong, I adore her. When she does a tarot card spread you can’t look away, her gaze is so piercing and haunting.

 6.       LOTR – Éowyn This is another one that got a strong hold of me in my formative years and shook me to my core. From the moment I read the ICONIC ‘what do you fear my lady?’ speech I was a fan for life. I strongly identified with her attitude to life (I, too, fear growing old and useless) and her totally boss moment against the Witch-King (more like BITCH king) made her my hero. Whenever I rewatch LOTR I have a stupid sappy expression on my face when she’s on screen.

 7.       The Walking Dead – Michonne Back when I watched this show, and when she graced our screens for the first time I was shaking with excitement. She had such an iconic look – the dreads, the bandana, the katana slung over her back. Her strong & silent archetype was something I was very into, and enjoyed watching. She just oozes cool. The only one on the show with the skills to use something other than a gun on a daily basis, so her kills were not only skillful but super stylish too! Oh and I really liked the vibe she had with Andrea – they should totally have been gfs but network tv are cowards

 8.       Killing Eve – Villanelle the inherent eroticism of a woman who is trying to kill you. I find assassins sexy, always have, don’t judge me. I really enjoy the fine line Jodie Comer straddles playing her as a sociopath with feelings that can get hurt. Also the chemissssstry with Eve is *chefs kiss*

 9.       Lirael – Lirael She spends her entire life up until early young adulthood feeling out of place and wondering why she doesn’t belong, and I just want to hug her. She is so lonely that she teaches herself a spell to MAKE HER OWN DOG (which is 100% relatable tbh) and then she and the dog strike out on their own adventure, which is super cute and heart warming to me. She’s so shy and withdrawn at first but then she really grows into herself with time, and teaches herself to be more confident in her own abilities, despite the fact that these don’t necessarily match up with the powers she has dreamed of her whole life.

 10.   GLOW – the whole cast Ok so it’s cheating a bit but how can you choose one favourite woman from that whole cast? Everyone is amazing and has their own strengths and character flaws, their own little quirks… it’s such good writing, real shame the show was cancelled (another ‘rona casualty)

and I’ll tag anyone who sees this and wants to do this because I can’t think of 10 whole people lol

[georgecostanzaatemysoup]

Episode 12... HOLY FUCKING SHIT...

Local boy tries to visit mom... mom says no. **listen up, Riverdale, if I see one more awful parent in this goddamn show I’m going to lose my ever loving mind**

Nooooo, don’t say that, you’re an angel

I mean... this probably has more to do with his dad than what you did, but okay Betty.

Noooooo, don’t lie. You’re trying to be a better person for Jughead. Aha!!

Because his son was threatened!!!

And he looks at me...

And I look at him...

I won’t even make a joke here. I just feel bad for everyone involved.

NOOOOOOOOO!

My god, this woman surprises me with every episode.

LITTLE BITCH ALERT

Okay, I’m going to interject for two seconds to say this was me during the Cooper/Blossom reveal:

Polly’s reaction? On point.

This is like a goddamn soap opera

For once, I agree with Hal Cooper.

Fuck yes, Alice! Get Polly out of there!!!

Stop being relatable...

Jughead saw right through you, FP.

SAVE HIM!!!!

KEVIN! JOAQUIN! NOOOOOOO!!!!!

He looks so upset about upsetting Kevin :(

Another interjection: I won’t post anything from Mustang’s apartment, but I’m intrigued as to why he had all that money from Hermione and if he actually OD’d or if he was also murdered.

HE CARES SO MUCH!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!

NOOOOO!!!! Joaquin is leaving, guys.

Does he ever actually get to keep a boyfriend???? Asking for a friend.

I get Mommy Dearest vibes from her... and I probably always will.

Alice Cooper, dropping some harsh truths.

Knowing how this episode ends, this shot of the sign really feels like foreshadowing for the Blossom family.

Archie:

Kevin Keller: Betty Cooper’s biggest fan.

Hey, Archie, calm down with all those emotions you’re showing.

Cheryl is about to put her Gucci boot in someone’s ass.

What?

What??

What???

Last interjection: I won’t post any screenshots surrounding what went down when the cops attempted to arrest Cliff Blossom (for obvious reasons), but his crimes finally caught up with him. I am, however, torn between whether he actually did what he did OR if someone killed him. I don’t know what to think.

Fucker threatened FP, just like I said. You asshole. You piece of trash. You complete garbage person. I just wish you got to rot in prison where you belonged.

Goodbye Mary!!! I’ll miss you :(

This relationship is lovely, and quite frankly one of the few reasons I’ve stuck around this long.

Why did Cliff do it indeed, Jughead.

Wow! So... uh... wow. That reveal was... insane. Holy shit! I have several theories, but I’m still too frazzled by that ending to sift through them. Knowing Jason’s own father killed him for, what, knowing he smuggled drugs? Knowing he did something else? Knowing... what?

This show is getting insane, guys.

[lovedinapastlife]

Riverdale Reaction 3x15 - “American Dreams”

Riverdale: Where dreams go to get punched in the face. But there’s also cake. And Bughead. So...it’s not all bad.

I want to hug this boy. FP and Jug havin’ a bondin’ moment. MY HEART! Cue me dramatically head-banging to “Your Love is Just a Lie” thanks to Gladys and JB Jones, amazing actresses in their own right.

“This house is my past, and I just want to be done with it.” Oof, FP is part of Alice’s past. BURN. Also, sappy me loves how concerned Jughead is for Betty’s feelings and the soft way he looks at her all the time.

I think some of their conversation on the stairs was cut, but it would be awkward for Betty to just…stay in her room with the mom-in-law she’s barely met. I hope Jug takes it and keeps it as a Betty shrine and talks to Archie through the window on those string-cup phones XD

No food in the Pop’s scene? I’m aghast.

Okay why are Toni’s boobs in my face? Is this a metaphor? And the trip conflict seems like poor planning on everyone’s part. I thought Cheryl was part of the Pretty Poisons but Toni’s talking about them like she’s not? Mehhhh?

Is Reggie just a doorman now?

Wow. The Pretty Poisons are possibly the worst security team. Karoake-ing instead of standing guard? Also, I’m creeped out by the Lodge/Topaz angle.

Did they cut a storyline from Falice this season, because I don’t remember them doing much more than the occasional hookup and vaguely wondering if their children had been murdered. At least FP acknowledges he probs wasn’t the greatest partner and feels like he owes it to his family to try with Gladys.

“You have been nothing…” VERONICA LODGE. You treat that boy with his due respect! Is her dream to literally run an empire by herself now?

“I know what I’m worth. You should know it too.” Yes, Reggie! YAS!

“No one walks on water in my place, except me” — did that make sense to someone? Or is it meant to paint Veronica as super self-centered right now? Because when Veggie started, it seemed like she understood he was a good influence and lackey and was receptive to that. Like, he’d boost her up. Not siphon stuff out. Even if she’s going out with him to essentially use him, Hermione would’ve approved, and since that seems to be the ridiculous story arc they’re going with, let Veggie be healthy! Damn!

Aw baby Jug worried about his mom’s motivations. Not a single conversation since she’s been back? Also Jug’s face during, “Sounds nice. Is it true?” melts my heart. I mean, did he expect her to come clean? I dunno. She’s good, though, as a charming villain. Pretending she wants the fam together again.

OH MY GOD. “The best damn Sheriff Riverdale’s ever had.” My face was prety much Jughead’s. KELLER IS THE MAN who has lost evidence, purposely ignored investigating because he “might” know the murderer, wrongfully imprisons/takes in people, and repeatedly lost people in holding cells to murder/suicides. But yeah. Best Sheriff. Compared to Minetta? Why not?

Are there enough living officers to even be paired with Serpents? I was under the impression they tend to fall asleep and be terrible or dead XD The FP and Jug police car scene was nice, actually. Character! Yes! More of this!

Reggie…”I put on suspenders! I wear a nice shirt! Why didn’t I get the girl like Jughead did?!” I don’t have an answer for you, buddy. That doesn’t do it for your girl/s, I guess. Looks nice to me though ^-^

Thank goodness for Betty, making sure Archie isn’t impaled by a bunch of guys in costumes. I’m not surprised she doesn’t care/remember about King of the Mountain or whatever but this memory suppression/loss thing is just another thing to toss onto the toppling pile of “things I worry about for B. Cooper.”

Girls having sleepovers, drinking hot chocolate and talking about life is where it’s AT. Also I love the contrast of Betty’s cotton PJ’s and Veronica’s silk.

Hrmrmrmr okay. I love the drip noise in the bg of the “source” scene. THEY READ EACH OTHER SO WELL! I wish the show allowed them more small moments like the tilts of their chins and deep longing looks like this. I love Betty for protecting Veronica’s safety without compromising the seriousness of her situation, and that Jughead reluctantly but definitely believes her.

I did not like the way he shut her out of it to confirm his mom’s shadiness on his own. Not letting her help in season 2 did not end up in a good place. Hrmph. Don’t like it. *folds arms* Don’t like that at all. (and yes, I know they’re still trusting and in a good place but this is a REACTION piece so ya know)

I love Hiram’s little “Oh, Archie? You need shady hideouts to deal with the assassins I sent? I’ve got plenty!”

Haha they are so dramatic making Paladin death match invites with a typewriter and scroll. Like, what?! Oof Jughead’s so sad his mom is probably doing something

“Keep your arm candy off my damn property.” *pat pat* Wow. I thought Veronica was super far away from paying Gladys and Hiram off? Like a kajillion dollars off? Reggie deserves his car but I’m glad Gladys didn’t do to him whatever she did to Penny.

“Only to win, of course” Cheryl looks fierce in her ridiculous red dress and spider brooch. Now that Toni’s got a steady paycheck she’s not so keen on stealing for no reason, eh?

Jughead is a giant fabulous nerd and I enjoy his monologues. I also love the wacky wrestling vibe I’m getting. OH! FISTS ONLY, BITING JERKFACE. Disqualified!

Cheryl is such a bitch. I can’t. Veronica is supposedly her friend, right? One of the people who showed her sympathy during her lowest point? But this is the second time she’s robbed the Lodges. And why? Because she gave Toni (and by extension, CHERYL and the Poisons) the opportunity to make some $?

I tried to fast forward through the Choni sex scene and ending up having to watch the whole thing anyway because I had no idea what was happening in the Archie fighting scene XD Did they just bring a blindfold IN CASE? and the music was fun but the intercut with violence was typical Riverdale awkward. At least we could actually see them? RIverdale sex scenes are usually so dark!

“ENTER THE KRAKKEN!” Omg only this show. Precious beans celebrating Archie winning were precious.

This Choni breakup is weird. Kinda a bizarre non-conversation about priorities.

Haha Hiram is so proud of his quest abilities. I’m surprised he didn’t go to cheer for blood. Is this “businesses run by teens” season in Riverdale? I was happy with the Blue and Gold, but hey--have them run gangs, law enforcement, speakeasies, and gyms too. Why the hell not?

“I wanna matter…” REGGIE! Oh, honey. At least she got him his car back. Oof. I feel bruised on his behalf.

There’s a lot more stuff on the fridge! You know of my obsession! A poodle? Why? Why is a Pop’s postcard on there with a picture of the lemon? XD Oh man Gladys hitting low with “I did it for your dad and if you tell, it’ll break him.” Honestly, it’s a little hard to tell what’s the truth and what’s a spin with her about their past. Either way, they’ve created a great tension.

Haha ok there is a solo cup booze fountain at this party and I think they made it yellow-gold as if that makes it classy? It’s hilarious.

FP you big nerd why would you bring up the infamous birthday party? I think he remembers it as a cute gesture, which is hilarious. Bughead match in their cute soft sweaters! I love this look.

Oh man I cried when Fred gave him a hug and talked about everyone has their own path. This shooow. That maaaan <3 Even FP’s moments of not feeling like he deserves this or “something’s not right” were great, like spinning the star with his name written on it (Betty’s handiwork? or one of V’s underlings?)

JUGGIE’S SPEECH! BRAVO! The extra-long hug with FP and glare at Gladys was oddly satisfying, and the “Wanna help?” Delicious. SIGN ME UP FOR HEATHERS. I LOVE IT!

[zorilleerrant]

2017

January

an amorphous thing A poem about misogyny, in all its forms. I never quite got the ending to do what I wanted, but overall I think it’s strong.

Fandom: Cho Chang bio I don’t know if you want to call this a ficlet or what? I think I’m going to expand it or something. Just a musing on why she’s called Cho Chang.

poem This is sort of a poem and sort of a joke because fuck the environment I guess; it was topical at the time I think.

musing on seasonal affective disorder An addition to something I really liked that someone else wrote, because I was having feelings about SAD. The initial story is wlw; my addition is nblw even though I was trying to match the tone and style of the original.

there is a demon A poem about femininity, bisexuality, and mental illness. Our narrator is, I think, a makeup youtuber? Or something like that. This was written in response to people saying just awful things about makeup hobbyists.

HP fic: Courage Hermione deals with racism. I always headcanoned Hermione as middle eastern, so I wanted to add something with that because I don’t see it a lot even when people intentionally make her nonwhite.

American Gods/Sookie Stackhouse fic: Small Town Mentality A little character study about Shadow interacting with Sookie. This was when I was rereading American Gods, and I was like. You know, these books have similar vibes and similar canons. Timeline wise it’s set about halfway through American Gods and a few years before the first Sookie book. (The title is about not-my-business isolationism, not racial violence.)

The Maze Runner book review Musing on the worldbuilding problems in the book and how writers can and should do better than that.

February

Shadowhunters fic: Parabatai A lot of people were invested in the part where Jace could tell that Alec boned. Just my take on the thing. There’s sex in this one. Probably my most popular fic to date.

March

untitled Beauty and the Beast fic From the perspective of LeFou waxing poetic about Gaston.

Shadowhunters fic: Love Will Tear Us Apart Magnus blames himself about Raphael drinking Izzy’s blood. So tbh I don’t actually remember this fic and I don’t think anyone liked it? I will have to read it over at some point and see what it is.

Shadowhunters fic: A Fish Without a Bicycle This is a companion piece to Parabatai; going along with the Parabatai bond being a sort of metaphor for an erotic relationship, it posits Izzy as aspec and explores that a little.

Shadowhunters fic: Answers Another companion piece. Just a lot about Alec exploring his sexuality and trying to figure stuff out.

Shadowhunters fic: Forever Home Magnus being A Dad, to cats and other magical creatures.

April

queer is not a slur Just a poem bitching at people about the ‘omg q slur’ nonsense.

untitled six word story look it’s only six words either read it or don’t. (it’s not very good.)

the two genders A poem about how stupid gender essentialism is, and how people apply it to literal newborn babies.

untitled poem ???

May

Static Shock fic: No Flams Prepz Hotstreak talks to a (presumably court mandated) therapist.

Static Shock fic: Worry Static’s dad worries about the kids in his life.

Static Shock fic: Everybody Makes Mistakes Character study on Virgil, pilot centric. (Contains guns.)

mall gothic Yes, that’s a pun. No, I don’t know what the point of this was either.

let me tell you something about not being confident in your writing A poem about writing and your feelings about what you’ve written. It’s supposed to be inspirational probably.

ROY G. BIV A poem about what does and does not exist. Implicitly about LGBT+ gatekeeping but there’s nothing direct in it. I like this one a lot.

June

flag a poem on why I didn’t like the Philly pride flag back when everyone was gushing about how pure and perfect it was.

pride a poem that I think was mostly bitching about people being like ‘don’t do xyz you’re ruining pride!’ or like gatekeeping or whatever. not sure if it stands up without context

Ocean Short story about a nonbinary mage questing after a fantasy sword. Written on the assumption this is a typical high fantasy universe so no there are no proper safety protocols or historical preservation procedures. Mildly comedic.

poetry isn’t real just a micropoem about poetry, the most common topic for poetry

I have a poem about gatekeeping. someone probably told me I wasn’t allowed to use the word queer (again) or like accused me of not understanding queer history? I don’t know it happens. this poem is probably triggering if you’ve got issues with violence generally or queerphobic violence in specific

queer is another poem about gatekeeping. prose poem. I don’t know man people keep going on about bullshit

Static Shock fanfic: Protest Static meets Magneto. The timeline on this is obviously confusing af, but like, imagine it’s during the corresponding irl point of any of the major ups of BLM protests, within Static’s timeline somewhere after he’s got the hang of heroing but before he’s really used to it, and in Magneto’s timeline, somewhere during the initial rise of the Brotherhood. This was just an idea that got stuck in my head and that’s about it.

Static Shock fanfic: Attraction Virgil/Richie. Just an excuse to write puns.

Static Shock fanfic: Marathon Static & Rubberband Man. Fluff

Static Shock fanfic: Frieda Character study. Also ruminating on bullying and sexual harassment. (It’s about the gun violence episode, if that gets to you.)

Static Shock fanfic: Educational Overnight Crossover with Batman. Mostly animated Batman continuity (although largely backfilled from Batman Beyond), but I don’t think it super matters to the text of the thing. Static pretends to be Batman and has to face off against the Riddler. Also featuring Richie in hot pants (as Robin).

July

okay. so. musing about writer’s block, self-esteem/mental illness, and the thought processes that go into writing. maybe a prose poem? I don’t know what you would call this particular form

growing up depression poetry

August

a few points bullet list formatted poem about writing and writing advice

Welcome to Fae Mart humorous story about retail in Faerie

September

Let’s Talk About Slurs it’s a poem about people who smugly claim they’d never say a slur

on good and evil a prose poem or something. about how bigotry is learned (and, sort of, unlearned) and why attitudes about it make no sense

Queer as Folk fanfic: Not Always in the Same Way Hunter being bi

November

just the same prose poem about intersectionality and bigotry and how people always conflate everything into neat little soundbites. there’s a bit about reylo at the end there, too, because I kept seeing shit about it at the time, so watch out if that’s a thing for you

December

tw villanelle yeah I only write villanelles what about it? anyway this one has a bunch of violent rhetoric and bad opinions; it’s from the perspective of antis. it’s not very good but the rhymes sound nice